#as a matter of fact i need everyone here to get on that fic rn

[jackshiccup]

why won't you let me help you?

#hijack #frostcup #hiccup #jack frost #jackson overland #hiccup haddock #rotg #httyd #jackshiccup art #my art #this took me way longer than i thought oops #but i loved doing their hair the most.. #anyway... them.... #i don't know what kind of au this is but just KNOW i had otnwas on my mind while drawing it #as a matter of fact i need everyone here to get on that fic rn #i tried to turn up the Yearning™ on this one let me know if it worked #jack putting his hand on hiccup's chest to push him away but hiccup just holds his hand hahahaha.... #also jack's red shirt.. well yes !

[imrllytootiredforthis]

Christmas Miracles

Pairing: Chan x reader

Summary: It’s Christmas Eve and Chan is still working, no matter how much you try to convince him to take a break

Warnings: Dom reader, sub chan, handjob, use of petnames (good boy, baby, etc), slight exhibitionism, probably more that I forgot

Word Count: 5.8k

A/N: This is way, way too reflective on my mental health rn, but really, who needs to actually confront your problems when you can just write an angsty, smutty christmas fic abt them?

That being said, 18+ minors DNI

It’s Christmas Eve.

Christmas fucking Eve and your boyfriend hasn’t left the studio once.

Not for food, not for water, not to simply say hi to you or the others, not for a bathroom or brain break. 

Not once. In fact, you don’t even think he’s taken a break from working at all in there. You know because you check in with him every hour and half.

And-you guessed it!

Every. Single. Time. He’s. Working.

Headphones pulled over his ears, fingers clicking keys and eyes glued to that computer.

And frankly, it was getting frustrating. Frustrating because you and the others have been waiting out here all day, talking, chatting. You’d come a few hours early to the secret santa gift exchange you and Felix had set up, with your gift for Han.

You made sure that you were there extra, extra early. Made sure to give your workaholic boyfriend lots of extra time to finish up his work, giving him periodic warnings every half hour to let him know just how long he had left. 

Every time he’d nod offhandedly, hum in acknowledgement but not really listen before he’d shoo’d you off, saying he knew and that you could stop mothering him.

And so you gave him some slack, getting off his back a bit as he requested, trusting that he would be able to regulate everything by himself. 

And when everyone finally got there, gathered around on the floor, ready for the gift exchange, you stood up and said that you’d get Chan and the activity could commence.

You popped your head into his studio, gently asking if he was ready. “It’s time, you ready? Got your gift?”

He spun around on his wheelie chair, looking at you, confused. “My gift?”

“What do you mean ‘My gift?’, Chan? We’re doing a gift exchange. Everyone’s here, that’s what I’ve been bothering you about for all day!”

Blank. Not a single thought in that pretty head of his.

He did not.

“Huh?”

Your jaw clenched. “You did not. Chan.”

He rubbed at his red eyes, the bags under them prominent from the apparent lack of sleep despite how many times you’ve told him to stop working and get a full proper night of it. 

“Wait-we’re doing a gift exchange-since when?”

You groaned, pinching the bridge of your nose. “The one that Felix and I set up like three weeks ago! We picked names from a hat!” You paused, remembering the day with a heavy sigh. “No, you weren’t there, but I gave it to you when you got home that night. I even remember-you had Hyunjin. You were asking me what I thought you should get for him.”

He nodded slowly, pursing his lips, eyes not meeting your’s. “...Still don’t know what you’re talking about. I have no memory of this happening.

“I remember, I told you that you were supposed to come up with it yourself, it was supposed to be special that way.”

Running a hand through his unruly hair that didn’t look like he had brushed in a while, he shook his head again. “Look, I don’t know, maybe it just slipped my mind, I don’t remember any of this.”

“Fucking hell, Chan! I told you about this, weeks ago! I told you last week. I told you a few days ago, I reminded you over and over and you told me you had it covered!” 

Finally leaving the doorway you stepped inside, shutting the door behind you, hoping no one else heard the outburst. When you looked back to him, it seemed you had already lost his attention, his eyes turned back to the screen, fingers hovering over the keyboard. “Turn off the damn computer and listen to me!”

And that was the final thing to have his headphones coming off, hesitating for a minute over the shut off button before deciding your rage over fighting over this particular thing wouldn’t be worth it.

The screen went black and he turned to you. And it finally hit you, the extent of his overworking.

He looked tired-exhausted, pale and unruly. He looked as if he hadn’t eaten or slept or drank anything in days. 

Rubbing a hand over his face, he groaned. “Look, I’m sorry! I’ve just been so busy with work-”

“And that’s it! All you ever do is work now! You cancel plans to work! We barely spend any time together because you’re working! The others barely ever see you because you’re working! Look at yourself Chan, you don’t look like you’ve even been taking care of yourself!”

“I just need to finish this one project and then I promise-I’ll take a break!”

“That’s what you always say! That’s what you said for the last project, for the one before that and the one before that and that’s what you’ll say for the one after this!”

He opened his mouth, but you cut him off. “You need to take a break and take a break now! No ‘one more hour’, no ‘one more day’, no ‘after this project is finished’! You are going to take a break now and you are going to not look at your computer until after Christmas.”

“But-”

“I don’t want to hear it.” You grabbed his arm, opening the door and pulling him out of the studio for what you could only guess and hope you were wrong was the first time in days.

The others smiled and greeted Chan happily when the two of you walked in. You smiled, pretending you didn’t see the obvious looks of concern passing between the boys. The walls were too fucking thin for this. 

They began shouting exclamations about how they felt like they hadn’t seen their leader in forever, congratulating you for finally being able to get him out the studio for once.

You side-eyed him all the while as he looked down at his feet, rubbing his neck and apologizing sheepishly. 

“Sorry guys, I’ll try to be more...present from now on...”

The others nodded and you clapped your hands together, gaining everyone’s attention with a “Well, anyway...does anyone wanna start this gift exchange?”

Cheers filled the room as you led Chan to the couch, sitting him down before taking your place next to him.

--

The rest of the night was fun, you received a spray bottle from Seungmin, telling you to spray Chan with it whenever he worked for too long. Everyone got a laugh out of that.

Chan got a ‘World’s Best Dad’ mug from Han and you could see him almost getting teary-eyed as he read it, pulling Han in for a hug and thanking him for the somewhat of a joke present.

Hyunjin seemed fine with the lack thereof of a gift but played it up a lot, pretending to be wounded by Chan, grabbing at his chest and falling to his knees in a fake sob of agony.

Truly, you enjoyed it.

You couldn’t remember the last time you’d hung out with all the boys and Chan, forgetting sometimes really how close they all were, how well they knew each other and how much more than coworkers they’d become over the years.

You also greatly forgot how loud they all were. 

The laughing and constant clapping to accompany it, things shouted, so unhinged it had everyone laughing from just the absurdity of it.

Several times they got into ‘fights’ that were really just shouting with the escalation of someone trying to yell louder than the other until everything was incoherent screaming. It ended when suddenly the entire thing turned to laughter, all eight boys pretty much rolling on the floor with it while you sat there, very confused and slightly amused by it all.

It was the first time in a while you saw Chan so carefree and happy, so relaxed. 

It was nice to see.

Well, it was nice to see until he wiped the tears from his eyes from laughing too hard and suddenly he didn’t look so relaxed.

He looked tired again, woozy like he might pass out or something. 

You take his hand at look at him with a soft smile. “You good, Channie?”

He nods but his skin has taken on a sickly pale colour. “Yeah, yeah. I-i’m good, I think-I think I just need to go to the bathroom, yeah?”

“Okay...”

And like that he stands up, announcing to the others that he has to go to the bathroom, saying to not wait up for him as he trails down the hall in an almost unsteady manner.

You’re overreacting you tell yourself. You’re overreacting, he knows himself best, he knows his limits. He knows how to take care of himself.

You. Are...Overreacting.

And then he’s gone for ten minutes...

Fifteen...

Twenty minutes. 

“Wait, where’d Chan go?” Han questions, popping his head up from where he lays on the floor, rolling around and gasping for air from something Changbin’s said.

“He went to the bathroom, remember?” Lee Know replies, not even lifting his head up from where he lays.

You sigh, standing up. “I think, uh, that I’ll go check on him.”

They all echo okays and laughter, jokes about how Chan can’t even go to the bathroom in peace anymore, but at this point you could care less about the heckling.

All you care about now is hoping that this wasn’t what you had an itching feeling it was.

That he isn’t doing what you think he is.

But perhaps that’s too much to wish for on this Christmas Eve as you knock on the bathroom door twice, leaning in in wait for his response. “Chan? You okay in there, baby?”

No reply.

“Chris?”

Nothing.

“Chan...I’m coming in, okay?”

You try the handle first, unlocked, then you slowly push the door open, looking in to see...that you were right. He isn’t in there.

He better not.

You rush down the hall, hoping-desperately hoping that you’re wrong and maybe...you don’t know, but hoping that he had some kind of excuse as to why he wasn’t in the bathroom and you’re assuming that he never was.

Well maybe, maybe...he needed to grab something from the studio. Maybe when he went to the bathroom it was already in use, so he went to the one on the other side of the building. Maybe he...went to get fucking take-out...without telling you or the others about it...

They were all lame excuses and you knew they were all wrong as your feet led you to the one place you knew he would be. The one place he would be, doing the one thing you knew he would be doing.

“Chris?”

Your voice is wary, tired as the door creaks, slightly screeching as you pull it open.

“L-look! I can explain!”

And there he was. 

Sitting at his desk, his headphones pulled over his ears, his fingers hovering over the keyboard, on that goddamned computer.

The boys continued to laugh and yell outside but you still close the door, hoping that with their level of sound and the door it would be enough to mute your sounds. 

Your voice is deadly calm when you speak, masking the anger burning inside of you. “Then explain Chan-because I am really hoping right now that you have a good explanation.”

He looks down, hanging his head in shame and you know he doesn’t. “I’m...I’m sorry, I’m trying, I really am...it’s just there’s so much work to do and so little time to get it all done. I wanna take a break, I wanna spend time with you and the boys...it’s just...”

“It’s just what! I get it-you wanna get this finished,” The calm in you is gone, replaced with a near hysteria, shutting your eyes and clenching your fists as your voice rises in pitch. “You feel rushed and you feel as if you need to get it all done as soon as possible but you can take a break! You need to take a break!”

You move toward him, turning that spinning chair so he’s facing you. You take his face in your hands, forcing him to look you in the eye. “This isn’t healthy how hard you’re working! It’s Christmas-it’s a damn holiday and, and you’re working! Do you not understand, do you not hear what I’m saying?”

He opens his mouth, trying to look away but you don’t let him, don’t let up on the grip you have on him. “I-I do, it’s just-”

“No, do you actually hear what I’m saying? Cause Chris, I need you to hear me right now. I need this to cement in your mind, I need you to think and realize that this isn’t healthy! This isn’t good for you and it isn’t good for us and if that’s really not enough of a reason for you, then it isn’t good for the company. They can’t have you passing out on-stage because you haven’t been sleeping or eating or drinking.” 

You drag in a heavy breath. “So, do you actually hear what I’m saying?”

“Yes, yes, I hear you.”

You don’t notice the tears spilling down your face until his eyes are getting watery too and he’s wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into him.

He buries his head into your stomach and shakes with heaving sobs. You pat his back, trying to soothe him the best you can as you cover your mouth with the opposite hand, trying to stay silent as you do the same.

And suddenly all of the energy drains out of you. The anger is replaced by pure exhaustion.

You’re crying and he’s crying and you’re clinging to each other, grasping at the comfort the other provides, the small cracks built over the past while finally breaking until a flood is released. 

Everything that’s happened, everything that hasn’t happened, everything that had to be said and everything that didn’t. It’s all there, silent and unspoken in the embrace.

It’s all there and you both understand it without a single word having been said. With just the tears and the touch and the wet spot that you’re sure is staining your shirt now as he buries his head into you. 

And suddenly you’re laughing, watery, hiccupy laughs that don’t really sound like laughs-and nothing going on right now is really funny but you can’t help it-because it’s Christmas Eve and you’re supposed to be happy, and it’s supposed to be the happiest time of the year, bright lights and warmth and family and you’re the exact fucking opposite right now. 

Because you’re both so, so fucking burnt out, so, so fucking tired and you’re both really, really done and all you can really do right now is cry.

You don’t know how long it’s for.

Until the tears run out and you’re staring at the wall blankly, playing with Chan’s hair as he clutches onto you, the waterworks stopped with the after breakdown sniffles present.

You’re not sure and don’t really care if the others heard you but if you strain your ears you can still hear their distant laughter clearly.

“Y-you okay?” You whisper, snivelling in a way you’re sure is unattractive but in all honestly you’re much too far past that at this point.

He doesn’t reply, only pulls far enough away to look up at you with big, sad, red eyes and even redder cheeks...and...oh.

Oh.

He pushes himself against you and you can clearly feel the large bulge pressed up against you as he looks up at you with those big sad eyes.

And now you’re kind of confused.

You’re not really sure what this means.

Now?

After that?

Maybe you’re just reading the context clues wrong but he looks at you and bites his lip, looking away shyly.

You sigh and pull him up off the chair, pushing him over to the couch in the corner of the room. He lands on it with a small oomph, still holding you by the waist and pulling you in close to him.

It’s a weird transition, from what just happened to this. From the tearstains still prominent on either of your faces to whatever this is. Whatever this is turning into.

But if this is what he wants right now, what he wants from you. Well then you’re going to give it to him.

“You’re gonna need to tell me what you need baby. Verbalize it for me.”

He sniffles again. “I just...I really need you right now. Will you just...” He mumbles the last part, turning pink under your gaze.

You sigh, looking at him with gentle eyes before settling against the opposite side of the couch against the arm of it. “C’mere.” 

He scrambles across the cushions to meet you, kneeling between your legs and tilting his head, waiting for you to give him direction. “C’mon baby, turn around,” He follows your lead until he’s sitting between your legs, his back against your chest, your resting chin on his shoulder. “Okay honey, ‘M gonna need you to tell me exactly what you need. Loud and clear so I can hear you.”

He shudders and you can tell he’s struggling to get out the words. “C-can you please...take care of me? Just wanna feel you.”

He paws at the sleeves of your shirt and you can tell what he’s asking for. Another time you might’ve teased him, played a little dumb, asked to elaborate on the request. But neither of you have the energy for that right now, so he’s granted that small mercy.

“Good boy, Channie,” He shivers at the words, squirming as you shift him slightly in order to pull off your own shirt, dropping it onto the floor to find later before feeling at the hem of his. “Can I take this off for you?”

“Yeah,” His voice is small and shaky as you pull it over his head, lifting his arms to make the job easier. And when it’s off and joined your own on the floor you’re already touching him.

You’re touching him and he’s sighing, relaxing, falling so quickly as your fingers graze his abdomen, tracing over his hard-earned abs and pecs, brushing over his sensitive buds. They harden quickly and he’s moaning, breathy little pants falling from his lips as his eyes slip shut-as you continue. Continue to touch and pinch and stroke and grope.

And over everything, it’s your voice that has every last drop of remaining tension in his body melting away, turning him into putty in your hands. Your voice as you whisper into his ear how good of a boy he is, how much he deserves this, how much he deserves everything and more.

He doesn’t think he could move even if he wanted to-and he doesn’t. Chan never wants to move from this spot-from this moment-here with you.

Your breath fans over the side of his face, leaving small kisses over his neck between every word. “Does it feel good Channie?”

"Nngh," he whines, not answering the question but this time it’s okay, this time you let it slide, continuing as his breathing quickens, moaning climbing higher in pitch as you gently ask the question again.

“Channie, baby? Asked you a question baby.”

He drags his eyes open just enough to look at you, pulling you against him into a short but sloppy kiss. “So, so good-please-please touch me, need it~”

For once you don’t ask him to clarify, if the bags under his eyes are anything to go by, he deserves this, deserves a break-a reward if you will-after working so hard.

Your hand fall to his hips and he whines at the loss. Chuckling lightly you kiss his cheek. “Patience baby.”

He nods breathlessly and gasps as you push his pants and boxers down, shivering at the cool air meets his heated skin and his cock slaps up against his abdomen. “T-touch me, please-please, need it so ba-”

His breath hitches, voice cutting off as you lick a strip up his neck, dragging your hand over his cock at the same time. You tsk him as he lets out an especially loud moan. “Patience, no need to get all worked up, s’okay.”

His is breath is gone, gone, gone, gone as his thighs reflexively shut at the sudden touch. You coo at him, placing your own legs between them and prying them apart.

His hips rock forward gently as you thumb over his slit, gathering his arousal and using it to slide your hand up and down him easier. “P-please.” He doesn’t know what he’s asking for but the words slip out instinctively, they feel right for the moment, for the desperation and need he feels, coursing, burning through his veins.

Your lips skip across the skin of his neck, nipping and licking at the unmarked skin. Hand starting slow and gaining in pace to match his pulse against your lips, squeezing the base as he loses more and more control of his body. His hips jumping up erratically, noises coming out louder and louder, higher and higher in need. 

“Gotta be quiet, darling, the boys are still outside.” You breath.

He freezes for a second, horror crossing his mind at the thought. But then the way your hand feels...gripping him, sliding up and down him. Sparks of pleasure explode behind his eyelids and all he can do is dig his teeth into bottom lip to keep quiet.

His hand falls to where your’s trails, up and down, up and down his chest, teasing and stroking. He grasps at your fingers, pawing at them clumsily. “N-need you,” He whispers, voice light and airy. Cute. Adorable in the way his body squirms against yours, cock pulsing in your hand. 

A small bead of pre-cum pearls at the tip, spilling over your fingers. “P-please,” he moans. “H-hold, nngh, h-hold my ha-hand.”

Your heart melts and you oblige his request, turning the hand over to intertwine your fingers with his. “Of course, such a good boy for me. Such a good, good boy.”

His body tenses, abs clenching and unclenching as he squeezes your hand tighter, almost painfully but you could care less as you continue, movements getting smoother and smoother due to the arousal leaking. 

He whimpers out loudly, toes curling as his body convulses. “Please-please-please-please, can I cum, can I cum, can I please-please can I cum?”

You hush him, kissing up his cheek, his temple, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. 

“It’s okay. Cum for me Channie.”

With the words his body tenses, breath hitching in his throat as his legs tremble, letting out a high-pitched whimper and, with a last throb, he cums.

Sticky white liquid spills over your fingers as he falls lax into your arms, panting and sweaty. His body’’s energy used up and drained. 

Completely and utterly boneless as you pull your hand away from his and use it pet back his sweaty hair. “How’d you feel baby?”

He sighs, “Great. Really, really great.” His eyelids flutter in a struggle to keep them open. “Thank you.” You hum, watching his eyes finally slip shut, lips pouting up. “Kiss me, please?”

With a small giggle you do, pecking those pouted lips once, twice, smiling while he pouts further, letting out an indignant whine. “Kiss me.”

You heart flutters in your chest and he moans as you claim his lips with your own, softly sliding your tongue into his mouth, kissing him breathless until you have no choice but to pull away.

Glancing over to his moniter on his desk the time shows clearly and you give him one more peck on the nose.

“Merry Christmas Channie.”

Tiredly, he whispers back, eyes already shut. “Merry Christmas, love you so, so, so much.”

You smile, pausing for a moment to hear that the boys outside have gone quiet-probably from having gone home if the time is anything to go by. 

“Love you too baby.” You murmur back, but he’s already asleep, lightly snoring with a slight smile on his lips.

He’s sleeping. Calm and relaxed, and finally, he’s taking a break.

Maybe it is a Christmas Miracle after all.

A/N: My taglist is open now here, hope everyone enjoys this and has a happy holidays!

@imsolovelylovely​, @hobihearteu​, @lino-jagiyaa 

#bang chan x reader #bang chan smut #chan x reader #chan smut #stray kids x reader #stray kids smut #stray kids #sub bang chan #sub chan #sub!stray kids #sub stray kids #dom!reader #dom reader

[crimeronan]

hey what is wwaitsoatl?

oh! it's what we are is the sum of a thousand lies, my most popular toh fic by FAR and the thing most toh people here started following me for. back before i got sucked down the princess luz hyperfixation rabbit hole. it's a fic that takes more work to write than any of my others because it has an incredibly involved drafting & editing process. bc i am a perfectionist.

the premise is a canon divergent timeline wherein belos suspects that hunter lied to him at the end of hunting palismen. and completely wrecks hunter's shit forever. and infects him with curse goop in the process. and darius (who, Very Importantly, does not yet have a friendly rapport with hunter) trips over the kid's half-dead body.

and freaks.

and kidnaps hunter n takes him to the owl house. bc that's the one surefire place of refuge on the isles.

there are a bunch of emotional threads, hence why it's novel-length and not even finished yet despite being about just four characters chilling in a house together.

mainly it's about:

hunter unraveling his cognitive dissonance and cult brainwashing in an AU where he doesn't have all of hollow mind's answers; his feelings are Incredibly complicated and messy & he gets incredibly mean and snarly about it

darius grappling with the fact that his own grief and resentment blinded him to a kid who Very Much Needed Him, darius dealing with the fact that actually he never DID grieve his mentor or his mentor's dead family

darius and hunter developing a rapport in a timeline where hunter very much has Not broken out of all the cop shit that darius disdains So Much. so darius is so fucking exasperated and tired all the time

eda trying desperately to help hunter learn to live with a curse / chronic pain / chronic illness, while having very little faith in herself to begin with

luz feeling Horrifically guilty about hunter's curse and injuries, bc she thinks she should have clocked the abuse and brought him home with her or otherwise stopped it

hunter developing an almost immediate and pathological emotional attachment to luz because of her kindness, which complicates all of his complicated feelings WAAAAAY MORE

eda, darius, AND luz all desperately trying to get hunter to admit that he's been abused and that what happened wasn't his fault. you would not believe how fucking long it takes.

i'm actually really, really, Really proud of it -- it's rare for one of a writer's best works to be their most popular, but this genuinely is one of mine. if not my best work, period. there's a lot of nuance and messiness and emotional complexity and grief and arguing that i'm SO happy with.

also, despite the subject matter, it's often extremely lighthearted. some of the funniest dialogue i've ever written is strewn throughout all these serious emotional threads.

i'd apologize for how long this response is but this story is a heart project and has 67,000 published words on ao3 so far. (the chapter i'm writing rn will likely be another ~8,000 words, then there are a couple more chapters to come.) so there's a lot to say!!

it's my most popular ao3 fic for any fandom, ever, in the 12 years i've been on the site. the response has been WILD. if you sort by kudos, it's the 31st most favorited owl house fic Of All Time, the 7th most popular fic involving darius, and the 5TH most popular hunter & luz relationship fic. again, of all time. which is. insane.

people have been very kind and patient with me having been too sick to work on it for a while. there was a seven-month break between chapters 8 and 9, and if i finish chapter ten soon then there'll have been a nine-month break between chapters 9 and 10. so i don't know how many people are actually going to come back to read it, a lot of ppl have moved on from the fandom and such. but i'm extremely extremely extremely grateful to everyone who's given it a look!

#replies #long post #toh #my writing #horrible mindscape trauma pals #dadrius #darius deamonne #eda clawthorne #wwaitsoatl #hunter toh #luz noceda #i really am in love with this story i like. i somehow forgot how in love i am with this story #but i do i love it so much. i love it So Much. i could talk about it for Ages

[a-little-lostecho]

Riddle Rosehearts, a Royal student from Wonderland and the next in line to be the future Queen of Hearts. He upholds his family’s duty with the expected strictness of all the Queens before him.

“The fact that people are ever insinuating the idea of going against our predetermined destinies is absolute madness! I swear on my destiny that I will not stop until all the rule breakers are put back in their places.”

Parent(s): The Queen and King of Hearts

Parent’s Story: Alice in Wonderland

Roommate: Azul Ashengrotto. He’s certainly not the worst roommate out of everyone in school… but still. That guy is shady.

Secret Heart’s Desire: ….I’d like to eat things and do things with friends more often.

My “Magic” Touch: My Unique Magic allows me to “Behead” anyone who breaks the rules and block off their magic. It’s rather useful when dealing with all the troublemakers in this school.

Storybook Romance: Romance? Perish the thought. My school work and circulars keep me busy enough as is. Not to mention the troublesome ‘Rebel Uprising’…. Besides… I’ll be married off once the next destined King of Hearts is found, so why does it matter what I want?

“Oh Curses!” Moment: When dealing with… certain troublemakers… it’s difficult to keep my cool. Thankfully I have my friends to help me cool off when I begin to loose my head..

Favorite Subject: Royal Student Council. However Debate is another close contender. Planning things out to better the whole student body is good practice for when I’m to become the next Queen of Hearts.

Least Favorite Subject: General Villainy. I find it rather insulting that people believe I’m a villain. Perhaps if people actually put effort into following the rules then there wouldn’t need to be so many beheadings.

Best Friends Forever After: Trey, Che’nya, and I have known each other since we were little although our relationship hasn’t always been this close… I’m just grateful we get to be together now and partake in the same destiny.

~

PHEW if you read this far, thank you! Searching everything up took a while but i think it was worth it for the look! For a more in-depth explanation,

welcome to the first post (of hopefully many) for the TWST X EAH AU! I’ve seen a handful of fics where they put the eah girls into twisted wonderland but never one in reverse, which is what i’m here to do today! I’m hoping to make this a bigger thing with ALL the twst cast, y’ hear me? ALL of them, including the RSA boys because eah is a school that houses all; villains, heros, royals, rebels, and everything in between! I don’t wanna do all the info dumping rn because i still have to work out some kinks in the story (and i have no idea how to actually format things into posts so any help on that end would be much appreciated) so follow for more!

I’m incredibly hexited ;) about this project so i hope you all look forward to it too!

~

p.s. also perhaps help w au/crossover name ideas? i want smth a bit more striking than just twst x eah au but might keep that if it makes life easier for people to find it perhaps

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst wonderland #my art #fanart #twst fanart #twisted wonderland fanart #twst art #disney twisted wonderland #digital art #disney twst #twisted wonderland riddle #riddle rosehearts #twst riddle #eah #ever after high #twst au #twst x eah #twst eah au #crossover #twst x eah crossover

[wikiangela]

Seven Sentence Sunday

tagged by @alyxmastershipper and @panbuckley thank you 💖💖

I don't really have anything new worth sharing rn, so here is a little bit of the alive shannon fic that I haven't officially started yet, and I'm like 99% sure I didn't I share it here yet this is just a lil smth I quickly wrote when I came up with the idea and it'll for sure get some changes when I actually get to this fic haha (it's for sure more than seven sentences but whatever)

___

And then, the ladder truck gets blown up, and Buck's hurt. Badly hurt. And it could've been so much worse, and… Eddie once again almost loses a person who's so important to him, who became so important in such a short amount of time, it shouldn't be possible. He keeps it together somehow, is there for him, needs to be there and take care of him. Buck's his best friend, the best friend he's ever had. Whatever other feelings are there, budding and insistent, fluttering in his chest any time they're together, he'll unpack that at some point, but it's never going to change the fact that it's his best friend and he can't lose him. He's keeping all the worry inside, staying strong for Buck, and for Christopher who's worried and scared too, because Buck's his best friend, too. Eddie can't believe how quickly and seamlessly Buck fit into their little family, and he's scared out of his mind about losing him. 

But this time, Eddie has support, too. Because she's here. She's here and she's holding his hand and offering silent support, just like Buck did when it was her fighting for her life after the accident. Because Shannon sees everything he's trying to hide. He's freaking out and she's the only one that notices. No matter how their relationship went, despite all the literal and metaphorical distance, she still sees him and knows him better than anyone ever has - everyone except for Buck. Once upon a time, he'd consider her his best friend, too. Maybe they can have something similar again, mend what broke and start fresh. Of course, it'd never be the same again, because Eddie wouldn't be able to give her his heart again. For many reasons, some of which he doesn't want to look too closely at.

___

No pressure tags (idk who did it already, I just got home from work lol): @silentxxsoul @jamietarts @elvensorceress @mrevanbuckley @honestlydarkprincess @shortsighted-owl @translasso @prince-buck-diaz @911onabc

#just a lil taste of what's to come from this fic haha #ngl I'm so excited to finally get to this fic when I finish the holiday fic haha #seven sentence sunday #buddie wip #buddie fic #buddie #wikiangela writes #my writing #fic snippet #my wips #the alive shannon fic

[rookthorne]

Your writing is phenomenal 🤎

What advice or research/resource tips could you give a writer newly trying to get into more mature-explicit (All natures- battles, love making, whump) scenes or fics ? 🥹

hello, my darling! thank you for your kind words! 🥰

firstly, can I just say that it's a lil' surreal that people are coming to me for advice...? I was in your shoes not that long ago now, and it's blowing my mind that sweethearts such as yourself are asking me for the tips and tricks. like damn, this is insane. ANYWAY

my advice will be under the cut, because, as per usual, I can't shut the fuck up - but this once? it may actually be warranted! 🤣

one thing I live by, that you first have to get into your mind, is that you need to have something on the paper - no matter how bad you may think it is, you must have something on that document. you cannot edit, beta, or work with, a blank page.

this translates so well into mature and explicit works. when I first started, I couldn't write a cuddle scene without blushing (but yet I read the filthiest smut, go figure).

having a mental picture is also crucial to get this to work - whether you visualise, watch videos (p-rn, battle scenes, or medical shows, etc), or whether you follow reputable websites that provide facts - it is crucial to have this step, without it, you have nothing to work with.

this is where I tend to differ from other writers, so this may be one off advice, but I literally just write. I don't stop to think, I don't stop to listen to that voice that is telling me it's stupid. I write, and then edit later (cue my advice earlier - cannot edit a blank page).

I don't always research first.

GASP

I know, the horror, right?

sometimes that's the way it goes! while, yes, it is very important to have research backing your works, sometimes the muse just doesn't let you! and that's okay - because you can always go back over your work with a critical eye, rather than a creative one.

I am a firm believer in not stunting your creativity for reality, where you can help it.

but, alas, here I am not getting to the point.

do not, under any circumstance during your research, use Wikipedia. if you go to Wikipedia because you have no other choice, scroll to the bottom and go to those sources - more often than not, these are medical journals, and they do tend to be available for public perusing.

I learnt how to write smut via a previous beta, and she was very graceful in educating me the tricks of the trade. but you can also learn a lot from other writers - just by reading their works! that is how I got to the point that I am at now. I spent hours seeing the differences between writers, and I related what they did in their works to my own creations in the sense of flow, placement, and structure. sooner than later, I ended up mapping out scenes in my head, and if I wasn't sure on how something worked, I reached out to my fellow writers and asked for advice, or asked for a beta! if you feel that isn't an option, watching p-rn is a very good substitute in learning how it all works, or how a position would look, or just in general smuttiness. here is one of the guides that I used.

regarding battle scenes (god I fucking love writing them), it's important to get the ambience right, and the flow of movements without dragging on. it's such a fine balance and it is so fucking easy to tip the scales one way or another, rather than keeping it level. I am a history nerd when it comes to anything Norse/Viking, so I have background and knowledge to help my flow, but watching movies and shows (even documentaries!) is a big help! they will teach you the dynamic movement and flow of how someone would handle a sword, or an axe, or a shield. here is a good combat resource.

whump... oh, my beloved whump, how I fucking adore writing whump. but I have a penchant for torturing and snapping my glow sticks, not everyone is as torturous as me. 🤣

this is where research is the most important, or prior knowledge. I never attempt a whump fic or scene without researching first - it is the only exception to my above statement of not always doing it first.

WebMD is an excellent source for learning about illnesses and the courses of treatment, same with medical journals. I have a few tags on my blog: writing resources, writing tips, writing help - that will direct you to many blogs that have countless resources.

last but not least, reach out to as many writers that you can!

I can't speak for everyone, but I preach that my inbox is always open, both on here and discord, to ask for help or advice regarding anything - whether that be writing scenes, beta work, or just general advice regarding anything writing/creating/aesthetics/graphics! I have a big wheelhouse and I am more than willing to share what I know if it will help someone else, and you can be sure that if I don't know something, I won't stop until I know how to help. never be afraid to reach out to me if you need more help, I don't bite! 💗

I really hope my essay helped you, nonnie, I tried my best - even if I got a bit rambly, my bad 😅🤣

#rookthorne responds #wow Lana go the fuck off with an essay huh #yikes #SORRY #sweet anons #💗💗💗

[tomwambsgans]

just want to say your insight into Tom's sexuality is very validating and a much-needed perspective in a fandom that appears to overwhelmingly read him as bi.

I think people simply underestimate how deeply fucked up Tom's relationship towards sex and socialisation is, how truly unbelievably repressed and self-loathing he is, and how much this ties into the show's overall male ideal and themes of sexuality+emasculation. things like when he's trying to get Shiv pregnant in s3 (and saying sex without trying for a baby is pointless), or the Tabitha storyline, show that he clearly has issues separate from and preceding Greg (and even Shiv). and it's interesting how tomgreg leaves people less inclined to consider the character's orientations discretely and in fact often leads to adoption of the baffling fanon trope of 'middle-aged conservatively socialised man is secretly comfortable in his bisexuality'. it also just seems shallow to me when people act like his being gay would somehow invalidate his love for and romantic attachment to Shiv, which are things often regarded as the only 'real' aspect of their (exceptionally compelling) relationship. so many fics insert a clarification to the effect of 'Tom is bi, not gay, he did love Shiv, don't worry!' that just comes across as reductive to me. like I promise this fandom the gay male experience is not an easy one-size-fits-all and closeted men do date/love women. sometimes they even marry them! and impregnate them! (hi, Greg's dad?)

I could go on forever so again, just here to say that I really appreciate your posts about this. I don't think Tom was originally 'intended' as gay but that's simply how the show evolved through the writing and acting. there are plenty of characters I read as bi or repressed bi (I think it's not uncommon in media), Tom just isn't one of them lol.

printing out this message and eating it oh my god thank you SO much

you basically said it all. and specifically on the point of (fandom) ppl being inexplicably convinced that a gay man can't have ever loved a woman is so insane like... what do you think the closet IS lol. i don't know a single gay man who was at some point closeted enough to date women who would say that they didn't feel ANYTHING about those women. the idea of "he clearly loves shiv so he can't be gay" honestly just betrays a naivety about... most aspects of life, lol. the nuances of emotion and constructing the self and repression, and of all the things that go into love and desire (something tackled imo pretty well by the show itself so it's kinda insane to be so off the mark while a fan of succession), and tbqh of tom's motives period. and i mean also, of course, about male homosexuality. i can't necessarily blame anyone, at least individually, like for just not being a gay man or knowing enough about gay men, but the sheer lack of it is... yeah a little frustrating lol. i can vouch quite personally for the fact that sometimes gay men, even WHILE knowing that they're gay, can date women and love them. deciding to pursue what you really desire rather than what creates a certain image for yourself is then a matter of self-love.

anyway. i recommend reading like literally any gay man's memoir for anyone who wants to make an effort at a deep understanding of all the stuff I say about gay tom. i'm reading this one rn by paul monette called Becoming A Man that feels SO uncannily tom to me and i kinda wish everyone would read it so I'll use this opportunity to put it out there lol

finally I wanna say that maybe I'm a little too wishful but with some of the lines in the script that didn't make it to the final cut I do lowkey suspect Closeted Gay Tom to have been the intended reading from the beginning. like "shall I be mother"? "all girls here"? js

#anonymous #❤️❤️❤️❤️

[sabaramonds]

a sight beyond death: timeline differences & other notes

so i wrote a fic. its partially alins fault. because the timeline diverges with changes i feel are relevant but didnt write in full bc the fic itself starts up after many of them, i decided to compile them here for perusal, alongside some other background headcanons alin and i decided upon regarding L, B and wammys house. probably a very long post, i will update later as well if more comes up or i forgot something 👍

jan 1 2004 (just over a month after light got his death note), sayu goes to deliver a change of clothes for her father and encounters misora naomi at the station. hearing her intent on meeting with the kira task force, sayu strikes a conversation because of her father, and the two of them wait together while sayu waits for her father to call her back after she messages him.

naomi is able to get in touch with L after speaking with soichiro via sayus phone and joins the task force; she informs L of her suspicions regarding kira being able to kill with methods besides 'heart attacks'

due to naomis information, suspicion on light increases

jan 8 surveillance begins on the kitamura and yagami families. during this week, sayu gets into an argument with her mother sachiko regarding her grades and when sachiko compares her to light (unfavorably), sayu storms off. while light is at cram school she goes into his room and triggers the diary trap, setting the house on fire. the investigation has hiccups here because of the fire but it doesnt actually matter in detail rn cuz i am not writing it all

at some point in january, B escapes his prison. because he needed so much medical attention, L arranged for him to be in a long term care facility as he recovered from skin grafts and physical therapy, because after losing B wouldnt leave anyway (he fully intended to resign himself to this until he saw the kira news). when he recovered from his final surgery and was being arranged transport to an actual prison, he escaped :) yay!!

roger alerts watari and L of this happening and L decides not to worry about it. naomi is like dude. i think we should worry. i decided he doesnt tell her about B escaping

the yagami family begin living in a hotel as their house undergoes reconstruction after the fire, though they contemplate moving to another local residential area. kiras murders slow marginally, a pace unnoticed by most, as light is unable to write as often and with as much as privacy in the hotel

when he makes it into to-oh in april his family decides to let him live on campus for a semester because the house isnt ready yet. L thinks this is awesome because he can just wire the dorms. light has to keep taking a potato chip and eating it 🙄

april 25h the phrase shinigami is used by the 2nd kira in the videotapes, as is a reference to "eyes". Ls visceral reaction is because of B, which he informs only naomi of in private he doesnt say anything actually because he doesnt feel like it

june 8th, a week into confinement, light gives up his ownership of the death note

june 9th, L wakes up to B atop him, having broken into his room. due to the fact misa & light have forfeited their death notes, he can see both their names and times of death when L involves him in the investigation, so there is nothing noticeably off about them

theres like a full week of everyone being super disturbed by L and B before the yotsuba group starts killing people as "kira" other additional notes/headcanons: i decided Ls real name is not L Lawliet because that sounds stupid as hell im sorry. but i also decided no matter what even if i decide on a name i like, i wont ever reveal it in the story. only B will ever know and any time it gets spoken or thought by him (or by shinigami) its going to be redacted Bs grandfather is actually japanese. he has no idea if his grandmother is because he never met her/she died before he was born; he met his grandfather several times. this is why he repeatedly uses japanese aliases and why naomi didnt go huh? whys some white guy got a japanese name? however, one of Bs parents is welsh and he probably grew up in wales. why...? its funny. B and L actually had a lot of impact on each other and they sort of cannibalized one anothers identity and mannerisms in their childhood even though L wasnt always at the orphanage. after A died they both subconsciously picked up some of his habits as well, as if to keep him "alive" in them both (and in the identity of L) so like, basically B used to sit like a frog and L started doing that because B does it; B chews his fingers because L does it; they both hold things the way they do because A used to do that; they both started preferring strawberries over their old favorites because strawberries were As favorites....so on. "L" is, in a way, already an amalgamation of B, A, and L; L himself had little sense of self and identity as he was molded by wammy into a "genius detective", and B and A, who were not only the only two people in his age range he ever socialized with but also two people being conditioned to become backups of him as a person....well uh there was a lot going on. basically. ❤ so tldr B and L are essentially amalgamations of each other. and of A. yay. unrelated to B, L and A but when were talking about all this alin and i realized that mello would have been 2 years old during the fall of yugoslavia and his childhood was probably insane even before watari scooped him up for his genius orphan exploitation program. just thought that was ummmm Interesting <3

#death note #my writing #fic notes

[stevebabey]

I'm the first anon, thank you so much for understanding. I have those feelings for months now and I'm going crazy lmao.

I wish I could get into character x character stuff, but unfortunately, my stupid brain loves to consume stuff through self insert, so x reader is my preferred outlet for everything :/ I just feel like I don't belong anywhere in this fandom rn in terms of content creation. I'm not into most x reader stuff and I like to explore more character things, but I also don't really belong in there because I'm not a shipper.

It's just so frustrating to see, and the other anon was right. The tiktokification of media and fandoms in general is insane to watch. Like I saw a tiktok that complained that the Poppy War by Rf Kuang was boring because it had no spice. M'am, this is a book about war? 😭 Or, like everything is described in tropes (that's a problem for books, not fanfic per se) for fast consumption, the plot doesn't matter if certain scenarios are not ticked off. Not to mention AI and things like characterAI where people just get quickly what they want without using really their imagination (plus them not caring that this is stealing from real people).

And yeah, the whole minor part. It's insane to tell 12 year olds, that virgins write the best stuff. I'm reading and writing fics since I was 14, and I'm "lucky" I wasn't really exposed to those things until I was 16. English isn't my first language, so fanfics were a bit limited, I guess (plus having a very nieche interest that didn't reach international fame and fandom). Also, I mostly consumed stuff from friends I know irl and we had a few spicy scenes because we were curious, but we never got exposed to hardcore smut. I'm not saying there should be no smut at all, everyone is free to express themselves. It's a problem if the fandom is only that because it creates a space not everyone has access to or gets messed up. Fandom is community and everyone should feel welcome. If I was a minor and all writer blogs tell me to fuck off because they only write mature things, idk if I would even wanna stay. Which is also another problem because fandoms die out so quickly as it is.

Anyway, I don't know where I'm going with this exactly because you already said everything and I agree with you. <33

omg you say you don't know where you're going with this but brought up so many good POINTS

you're not crazy and you're definitely not the only one feeling that way!! i understand completely and it's infuriating that the topic of it is almost tongue in cheek in this fandom and lots of people feel they would be better off biting their tongue than expressing that frustration ://

character x character is something that takes a hot minute to get into i've found, i've honestly only just gotten into it within the last year or so (because i also struggle with like ocs and the like) but i am a long lover of the self insert i can't even lie <3

but there's like a difference between the way you describe this!! i think you're very much like me and it's like a genuine love for a character that drives your desire for writing self-insert- its like i love this dude so much and i want them to be happy and i want to be that source of happiness, i want to be that first kiss or gentle touch they need :D

andddd that's my problem with so much of the smut-leaning fics. where's the soul!?! where's the driving heart of the story? the best fics are the most self indulgent because you can see the best parts of someone in them !!!!

i'm really sorry that you feel like you don't have a place in this fandom but you do definitely belong here honey- fandom is supposed to be a community and there's no prerequisite to existing here at all and the fact there feels like there are certain amounts you have to succeed in to be a writer is so just bleh

tiktok is a goddam brainrotting place lmao and every day im not on it is a great one! the trope shit is SO true, like the idea that if you can check a few boxes (one of those things being smut) its the thing that makes a piece good instead of how it's written and the passion for the story like ugh and don't even get me started on ai 😭 that is a shitshow in itself and anyone who uses that to write fics or complete other peoples fics are absolute garbage people

the minor thing is yeah completely fucked and you raise SUCH a good point about how it limits the spaces that they can occupy which is so fucking stupid cos how many of us started in fandom at young ages??? everyone should feel welcome! and god the thought of someone trying to so hard to avoid nsfw content but just to have it shoved down their throat in every other post and also having so many writers telling them to fuck off ur so right, i wouldn't wanna stay either!

and it's just so so so sad because there are a thousand people who i WISH would write their ideas, write their fics, whether its bad or good first time around because THAT is the point of fandom. love for the source! new ideas! people's new takes on old tropes over and over :D

ah you opened the floodgate in me.... you didn't ask for advice but truly, write the most self indulgent stuff ever and it can't lead you wrong. i hope the culture of fandom changes and every time you ignore the urge to write for what u think people will like and just write what you want, we all get a little bit closer to that change :")

#endless opinions.... gah sorry! #im so rambly today #i hope u feel better about ur place in the fandom bub and i mean that genuinely and wholeheartedly #u belong here #mwah mwah mwah #lots of love <3 #ruby talks #asks #anon

[queenimmadolla]

Someone asked pinkrelish if the reader in her series was white, cause she rbed a bunch of fan art from different artists that depict reader as white, and someone sent in an ask saying the first anon might have gotten the wrong idea due to the fanart

https://www.tumblr.com/pinkrelish/717773696352288768/miss-mouse-is-white?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/pinkrelish/717776873301721088/most-of-if-not-all-the-artworkmoodboards-ive?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/pinkrelish/717787746591244288/prev-anon-here-youve-done-a-great-job-in-keeping?source=share

But then a writer friend of theirs that had previously made a collage/moodboard type thing for them misinterpret the ask, thinking it was attacking the writer as well as the collage they made and kind of went on a rampage to “defend” their friend, made a post about how people need to get off anon and say something to have a conversation. When another poc user tried to reason with them in the comments of their post, saying the asks weren’t attacking anyone (I mean read them for yourself) they kept almost intentionally misinterpreting what they were saying, putting words into their mouth, told them that if they don’t like art/visuals that depict white readers, to simply block the people making them and it won’t be a problem, etc, then blocked them. Then they made a post about how they’re gonna stick up for their friends and “block bullshit” and kept reiterating that moodboards/fic headers/artworks are all usually self-inserts in a way and we can’t blame anyone for the fact that these things are so white washed. So yeah, that’s what happened 💀 the person who got the asks is quite a big writer so that’s prob why you got the asks too.

I almost wasn’t gonna respond to this, but that’s a bystander effect and I refuse to participate in that anymore lol.

Okay, so Pinkrelish is an incredibly talented writer, and I’ve been following along with her works before I even knew they had a tumblr! They have this gymnast!reader fic that I LOVE so much, which I came across on ao3 like last fall. I don’t know her personally, but I do know I have witnessed her reblog and support all the fanart she is sent and tagged in. We of course are aware that fanart is usually the artist self-inserting into the non-descriptive reader insert, which is 100% appropriate! That’s why we write, so whomever our audience is can see themselves in the works!

Obviously, POC have a lot harder of a time getting their art interacted with, but Alyson would support any form of fanart sent her way, it’s an honor as a writer to see people depicting themselves in what we write.

I’m not gonna touch too much on the other writer right now, because I don’t know a lot of the situation nor who it even was and I’m dyeing my hair rn so I can’t look around, but I hope they’ve been made aware this was not an attack and a counter attack was completely unnecessary. I do think it’s disparaging for POCs to voice things that concern them only to be shut down in a matter such as the one you described (because it looks like Pinkrelish responded positively, and in my opinion wonderfully, in terms of acknowledging the struggles of POCs on this hellsite so whatever aggression you said was on display from someone else was actually unneeded).

I will always encourage other people of color to speak up, because on anon or off anon (because I know that anon would have been clearly brutalized had they spoken from their account as implied, and so long as what is being said is mot hate), what you have to say matters. This is a place for conversation and we all need to be a little more open minded.

Alyson loves everyone though, so if you’re a POC and you’ve got some beautiful ass TYP fanart you’ve been afraid to post in this fandom for obvious reasons (and withholding from me), she’s the type of writer who would love to see it :)

(P.s., most writers would love fanart SO POST IT PLS)

#$ replies #love me some Pinkrelish tbh

[rosenallies]

begin again au or cc rosenali Denali feeling so bad because he can’t live at home rn because rosie is contagious but all he wants to do is take care of him because it’s painful and rosie is so sick

Tbh idk anything about monkey pox but it appears like it’s mostly transmitted through sex and/or kissing or direct contact with the rash so for realism to the fic I’m gonna give Rosie covid bc he could’ve gotten that anywhere without kissing nobody <3 and I did this for begin again au even tho it technically doesn’t matter but I feel like begin again au Nali would be sadder and it would be harder for him to be alone but anyway …Um <3

——

Denali tucked his knees to his chest, ipad propped up against the lamp that sat on the desk he sat at. He stared back at Rosé on the screen, cringing every time he coughed or winced. Though, Denali was the healthy one, his own chest ached alongside Rosé’s.

“I just don’t understand why I can’t come home to take care of you,” he sniffled, wiping at his eyes with the hoodie he stole from Rosé before he left for tour.

Rosé sighed and ran his fingers through his messy hair, he felt awful and lonely but he put his foot down and wouldn’t allow Denali to come back home. He’d have to drop out of the tour and the last thing Rosé wanted was for him to come down with it too.

“Baby, I’m okay,” he croaked, unconvincing to his partner on the screen, “are you?”

Watery eyed and lip wobbling, Denali shook his head. “I don’t want anything to happen to you, I’m scared.”

Rosé silently thanked the universe that his first time coming down with Covid happened after 3 vaccines and a lot more knowledge than what everyone had two years ago, but he knew Denali like the back of his hand and he knew that no matter what the CDC or doctors said; he’d still be worried something would happen to Rosé.

“Nali,” he cooed as softly as he could with the hoarseness of his voice, “nothing is gonna happen to me. I’m managing just fine at home. I wish more than anything that you could come be with me, but you’d have to leave your tour and even after I’m better, you might get it and have to quarantine even longer. I don’t want you to miss your entire tour.”

“I don’t care about the tour! I want to go home. You would take care of me if I was sick.”

Rosé sighed, Denali was right. No matter what was going on, if the roles were reversed he’d be on the first flight home to be with him. He opened his mouth to speak, to defend his wishes but nothing came out but an agreement.

��I know I would.”

“Can I please come home? Please. I need to make sure you’re okay.”

He could tell at that point bargaining wouldn’t work, Denali’s hands shook hard enough for Rosé to be able to tell through the screen and he was headed in a place that was scary enough for him to be in with Rosé around, nevermind alone.

“Whatever you need to do, baby. I’m okay though, I can promise you that. I don’t want you to come home and regret it when we’re stuck inside for the next three weeks.”

“It’ll be worse if I’m not there and something happens,” he admitted quietly, still not letting go of the fact that even though Rosé’s symptoms were pretty mild, there was still a chance he could get worse.

“Okay, baby. If you want to come home, you can. I’ll be here waiting for you. I can’t really go anywhere else at the moment,” he added with a small chuckle that he could barely manage through coughs.

“I love you, I’ll be home tomorrow, okay? Please please call me if anything happens, please.”

Rosé smiled sadly, feelings of guilt settling in his stomach, but there wasn’t any use fighting it. “Okay, darling, I love you too.”

#begin again verse #prompt request

[spencersawkward]

omg I’m so excited you’re on here and taking requests!! do you think you could do something like baby Spence losing his virginity to a close friend & it’s like adorable, goofy, fluffy smut bc he cannot get over the fact that he’s actually having sex with someone

I’VE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE-- TURN IT UP!!!

on a serious note, i'm so glad you asked for this one bc i really wanna add a scene like this in the fic i'm working on rn. i'm v excited.

summary: when the secret of Spencer's virginity gets accidentally spilled in front of the whole team, reader goes to check on him.

word count: 5.6k

relationship: Fem!Reader/Spencer Reid

content warnings: unprotected penetrative sex, creampie, fluff.

masterlist

hanging out with the team is easily the best part of the week. after spending days in Arizona with our focus entirely on the most recent case, my mind is practically ready to snap. I feel like I've been running on fumes, and when Penelope suggested we take the evening to hit our favorite bar, I was practically already out the door.

so now I'm sandwiched between JJ and Emily as we throw back our first shots of the night. my skin is already flushed with the elation of laughter, the pleasant thrum of conversation that surrounds us.

"that's bitter." JJ makes a face when she slams the empty glass on the table. I screw up my nose.

"why did we pick vodka?" I hate vodka.

"it gets the job done." Emily laughs. I shudder at the aftertaste that sits on my tongue.

Morgan wanders over, Pen on his arm while she totes a brightly colored pink alcohol. they're flirting as usual, but she pauses in her witticisms to grab my arm.

"we're playing truth or shot in that booth over there." she says to me, then gets the attention of the other two women. I let out a disbelieving laugh.

"truth or shot? like truth or dare but without the dare?"

"Reid, is that you?" Morgan says sarcastically. I slug him in the arm with a pout.

"be nice." but I'm giggling. he loops his arm through mine and we head back to the table, Penelope already starting a new conversation with JJ and Prentiss as they follow. Spencer is sitting in the booth with an Arnold Palmer, sipping from the straw like it's his job. I slide into the spot next to him.

"hi, you." I smile. "I haven't seen you at all tonight."

he holds up his glass. "I don't really drink."

"that's fine," I wave it off. "I just meant I wanted to hang out with you."

"oh." he smiles a little. "sorry."

"no big deal. you're here now." I shrug and turn to Pen as she calls my name.

"I'm gonna order a bottle. that okay?" she points to the bar with a mischievous smile. glancing once at Spencer and his slightly awkward position between Morgan and me, I make a snap decision.

"you know what? I think I'll just have a lemonade."

"you sure? Jayge said you spent the whole plane ride back talking about getting wasted--" Penelope's words cause a blush to spread over my face. I cut her off.

"I'm sure. thanks, Penny."

she nods. "of course, sweet cheeks."

I focus back on Reid, who is looking at me gratefully. he would never say it out loud, but I know he feels a little out-of-place sometimes. it's hard enough for him to come out with us to bars; the least I can do is be a sober friend. I open my mouth to start a conversation about an article I read the other day when Prentiss speaks.

"okay, so... who's ready?" her voice, always so certain, carries over the table. all of us make enthusiastic noises of assent, and she grins as Penelope returns with an armful of glasses. Derek gets up to grab the actual alcohol, and then when we're all settled in, the game begins.

"the rules are simple: you tell the truth, or you drink!" the tech analyst explains. the stakes for Spencer and me are lower, but that doesn't really matter. I'm excited to hear the team divulge their secrets.

"I'll start." Prentiss doesn't even hesitate before she looks at Morgan. "Derek, are you still sleeping with that one woman from sex crimes?"

Morgan raises his eyebrows at the question, irises flitting between Emily and the rim of his drink. there's a slight smirk on his face; he knows what a player he is and he's okay with flaunting it.

"Ally? no." he sighs. "things didn't end well between us."

"what? why?" I ask, eyes widening before I look around at everyone. "who is this woman?"

"cool your jets, sparky." Morgan teases me. "only one question per round."

"I'll tell you later." Prentiss raises her drink in my direction and winks.

"uh, no no." Morgan attempts to stop her, but JJ interrupts him.

"speaking of things not ending well," she says loudly. "Pen, why did you and Sam break up?"

"well," Penelope sticks her tongue between her teeth as she thinks it over with a devilish smile. her lips are a ruby red tonight, bright against her pale skin and big eyes. "to be completely honest, he just wasn't... doin' it for me. you know?"

"like--?" Emily glances down at her lap. Pen nods quickly and I snicker. JJ looks awestruck.

"I thought it was going so well."

"it was, but..." Penelope seems to genuinely think this over before she speaks. "if it's right, it just clicks. and it never clicked with Sam."

"profound." I compliment, high-fiving the high-energy blonde. we giggle before she turns to me with a glint in her eye.

"oh, do I have a plan for you," she smirks. "tell me, Y/N: if you had to sleep with one person on our team, who would it be?"

"women included?" I clarify, my cheeks suddenly on fire. how come everyone got easy questions except for me? I'm really just biding time.

"of course." she nudges my shoulder. I mull this over for a minute. I could say the truth, but I don't think that would be the right thing to do. however ironic that is. given the situation, I do something which I have never been good at and which I don't enjoy doing: I lie.

"although all of you are catches," I preface. "I think I would probably pick Emily."

Prentiss almost chokes on her own spit as her head snaps to see my face.

"me?" she asks.

"low-pressure fun." I shrug, the stress of the moment rolling off my shoulders with the ensuing laughter of my team members. Spencer takes a sip of his drink and peeks at me from his spot before I focus my attention to JJ.

we go on like this for a while, our original plan of "truth or drink" really just turning into a game of "truth and drink." as our laughter gets progressively louder, our questions and answers get progressively more provocative. we get into risky territory towards the fourth round, and I can practically feel Spencer's discomfort radiating off of him. thank god everyone has been taking it easier on him with their questions.

that is, until Morgan hits about five shots and decides to throw him to the wolves.

"so, Reid," he asks. there's no malice in his tone and I'm sure he's not meaning to embarrass the boy genius, but the question makes me wince anyways. "have we made any progress on the virginity front?"

it's like a fucking pall over the table. Reid goes rigid in his spot, and JJ's protective eyes dart between him and Morgan. Penelope's jaw drops.

"wait, Reid, you're a--?" her voice is tender, not judgmental, but Spencer's cheeks turn pink and he looks at Derek with a hurt expression.

"not cool." he says, body shifting in my direction. his eyes communicate everything; without a word, I know what he wants. I scoot out of the booth, letting him slip by me to walk outside.

truly, I'm speechless. we all stare at his lanky frame push through the door, but nobody talks until at least fifteen seconds pass.

"what the hell was that, Morgan?" JJ asks.

"I thought everyone knew--" he throws his hands up. "I swear I wouldn't have said anything if--"

"why would everyone know that?" I feel myself get angry for Spencer's sake. "that's an incredibly personal thing, especially to him."

"that wasn't you, my love." Penelope's voice is soft, sobered by the incident that just occurred. the playful air at the table is officially ruined, and we keep glancing at the doorway like Reid will come back in and everything will be fine. he doesn't.

"I'm gonna go apologize." Morgan starts to get up, seemingly beginning to realize the weight of his words. it's one thing to ask about Reid's sex life in general; it's another to point out specifically the entire absence of it. Spencer doesn't seem to be bothered by most things, but this is different. my heart hurts.

we watch Morgan go, the women all looking at each other with worried expressions.

"I feel bad." Penelope says.

"y'know, Spence never told me that." JJ observes.

"he really trusts Morgan." Prentiss says what we're all thinking. Morgan has always been like a big brother to him, and being embarrassed in front of your co-workers like that can't be a pleasant feeling.

we sit in a relative silence for about five minutes until Morgan walks back into the bar. he pulls out his wallet and pays for the drinks, then walks over to us.

"I'm gonna go for a walk. do you need me to call you all cabs?" he asks. those dramatic brows are drawn low over his face, emphasizing his regret. I look between my friends and clear my throat.

"it's okay. I only had one shot about an hour and a half ago. I can drive everyone home."

"okay," Morgan sighs, his head turning briefly to the door before focusing back on us. "drive safe, ladies."

and then he's gone.

"you guys ready?" I start to shrug my jacket on. they all nod and we get ready to go.

...

sitting in my apartment later that night, my head is swimming. even though it's none of my business what happens in Spencer's sex life, I wish I could tell him that it's okay. nobody cares at all if he's a virgin or not. but I know it's still embarrassing.

I hate that I lied earlier tonight, too. I wanted to say Spencer's name when they asked who I wanted, because I meant it. we're close, and I will always love him as a friend. but I've also always wanted more.

nobody, not even any of the other BAU women, know about my crush. I didn't want it to get in the way, or for it to come out and ruin my friendship with Reid. he doesn't like me like that, and that's fine, but what's not fine is not having him as my friend.

he was the first person I really connected with when I came here, and I feel a little protective over him, too.

once the clock hits eleven, I consider calling. he’s definitely not asleep yet. Spencer is a night owl. normally at this time he'd be curled up with a huge book, reading impossibly fast.

when he picks up on the third ring, the air leaves my lungs.

"Y/N?" he asks, more surprised than anything else.

"hey, Spence--" I hesitate, suddenly not sure what to say. sorry Morgan told everyone you're a fucking virgin? “do you wanna come over?"

maybe if I see him face-to-face, I'll be able to collect my thoughts better. the words hang in the air, festering over the line until I'm just about to take them back, before he replies.

"y-yeah. I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

my hands are shaking at my side when I open the door for the tall genius. he's still wearing his outfit from earlier, hair slicked back like normal. I've settled for my usual sweatpants and t-shirt winning combo. it's not like he cares.

"hey." I smile, trying to read his micro expressions. there are two possible outcomes here, knowing him: either he's going to be totally, completely over it, or he'll be able to write a War-and-Peace-length book on why he's upset.

"hi." he gives a wan smile and I let him into my apartment, closing the door behind him and gesturing to the couch.

"I missed this place." he says absently, looking around at the mess of decor and case files. I snort as I recall the last time he was here. he wanted to borrow a book that I had, and we ended up watching an entire docu-series about homing pigeons. it was surprisingly interesting; mostly because his commentary is both informative and funny.

"it missed you." I anthropomorphize my living space, but the phrase hangs heavy. I'm worried about him. I'm always worried about Spencer. he turns to look at me, opening his mouth to say something. I brush past him and walk into the kitchen. "coffee?"

"sure." he follows me like a lost puppy, leaning against the counter while I pull out two mugs and get to work.

"hey," I pause for a moment to look him in the eyes. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry-- about what happened... tonight."

"oh, that?" he scoffs, waves it off unconvincingly. "it's fine."

I raise my brows the slightest bit, never breaking eye contact. he wouldn’t have come if he didn’t want to talk about it. he cracks easily.

"it's just embarrassing, you know?" he says, staring out my kitchen window to alleviate his own nerves. I gesture for him to follow me back into the living room and I sit down criss-cross applesauce on the couch. he mirrors me, kicking off those cute black Converse.

"I don't think the fact itself is embarrassing, but I totally get why it feels that way. he shouldn't have said anything." I nod.

"like, that's personal. a-and--" he hesitates a moment, gesticulating wildly now. "and it's not like he's got any right! at least I don't go around with so many girls that I forget their names."

the thought of Reid sleeping with that many women is a little bit funny, but it also makes my stomach twist with jealousy.

"did he apologize?"

"yeah, he did. and he was drunk, I know." he rolls his eyes. "I'm overreacting."

"no, really, you're not." without thinking, I scoot closer to him and place my hand over his, which is sitting on his knee. I remember that Spencer is usually pretty averse to touch, but when I move it back to my lap, he seems a little disappointed. I wonder if he gets lonely.

"is it weird?" the question sounds raw, like he's mustering a lot to hear my response. I shake my head immediately.

"well, for one, Spence, I would never judge anyone based on their sex life, period." I chuckle. "and two, no way! if you aren't into having sex at this point in your life-- or ever-- that's totally your choice and you're entitled to it."

his eyes meet mine, pools of honeyed hazel that swim with a slightly amber shade. his face is so pretty, it's sometimes unbelievable to me that he doesn't get more action. bone structure that would make a sculpture envious.

"that's the thing," he licks his lips nervously before averting his gaze again. "I am interested-- I just don't-- well, I don't--"

"don't have someone to do it with?" I suggest with a slight smile. he nods, then clarifies.

"girls don't really seem to be interested in me."

I let out a laugh, unable to contain myself. his head jerks up to frown in confusion. I’m quick to amend myself.

"Spence, that's not true at all. you're such a catch! you're sweet and funny and way smarter than anyone I know. not to mention that you're adorable." I compliment, letting some of the thoughts I've been keeping to myself bubble to the surface. "any girl would be beyond lucky to be with you, sexually or not." Spencer blushes at my words, but the squirming in his spot tells me that it makes him feel warm inside. he smiles a little.

"you think?" it's genuine. he appreciates being praised, and it makes my heart flutter when he gives me that expression like I've made his night.

"I know." more of what I want to say rolls around my mind, unsure of whether or not I should admit it. but I think that right now, it'll only serve to make him feel better. "actually, I should tell you something."

"what?" he's curious now.

"when we were at the bar and Penelope asked who I'd be with... on the team... I lied."

"okay." he nods, somehow not connecting the dots. I guess it doesn't matter if they've got enormous IQs; boys are still clueless.

"I was gonna say you." the truth presses from the inside out, lifting a weight off my chest now that it's out there. even if he doesn't return that feeling, I'm suddenly glad that I told him.

"me?" he gestures to his narrow chest. I nod.

"yeah. I didn't wanna make you uncomfortable or embarrass you in front of our friends." I explain. he breaks into a grin.

"thanks." like I've given him something. I feel myself smiling as well, and then we're just looking at each other. tension that neither of us is willing to break. as much as I'd like to take him right here right now, he hasn't said anything about actually having sex or even about being attracted to me. for all I know, he could be completely indifferent.

"listen, Spence--"

"would you be willing to--" we speak at the same time, both of us stopping and laughing awkwardly.

"sorry, you go first." I offer, and he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth.

"would you want to... um..." he scratches the back of his neck before his eyes meet mine. "try it?"

"sex?" I raise my eyebrows. he nods. I try to find the right response. that’s more assertive than I expected. my pulse is fast, daring me to tell the truth. "I mean-- yes, I would love to-- but are you sure you want it to be with me, Spence? what about a girl that you like?"

"you are a girl that I like." he says this like it's matter-of-fact, like it's obvious. my heart stops in my chest before it starts to hammer.

"really?" a smile makes its way onto my face.

"I thought you knew."

"no." I laugh. my chest is full of sunlight.

"well, you are."

there's a brief silence where I try to get myself back on track. he likes me, too.

"are you sure you want to do this?" I glance at the space between our bodies, which has grown steadily smaller over the course of our conversation. Spencer is watching my every move with an intensity that tells me he's nervous.

"yes." he's unwavering.

"okay, well, you've kissed girls, right?" I inch closer. he nods.

"one."

"oh, Spencer," I sigh contentedly. "I have so much to teach you."

right after I say this, Spencer shifts uncomfortably in his seat. it's only then that I notice his hand covering his lap, the erection that's forming beneath his pants. my eyes flick up to his hungrily.

"sorry." he apologizes.

"don't be." our faces are inches apart and he's practically holding his breath. "I'm gonna kiss you. is that okay?"

"yes." he replies immediately. I place my hands gently on the side of his face, admiring the softness and sharpness of his jaw when I pull him to me, kissing him with a suppressed desire. his mouth is soft against mine, a little anxious to move. after a moment, he starts to relax.

his lips part and I deepen our contact, tilting my head and keeping it mostly mild at first. I don't want to shove my tongue down his throat. our knees are touching and his hand hesitantly finds my waist, the other going to run through my hair. I sigh into him, his fingertips a new sensation that I adore.

Spencer begins to give in a bit more to himself, asserting himself in the kiss and slipping his tongue over my bottom lip. I almost laugh at how quickly he gets the hang of it. he reads my body language effortlessly, not even skipping a beat when I climb into his lap and lace my arms around his neck.

"is this okay?" I pull away momentarily. he nods.

"you're so pretty." an unrelated response, but appreciated nonetheless. I laugh and peck his nose.

"thanks." and then we're back to making out, his hands resting on the small of my back. it's nice. I could stay like this forever, just pressed against Spencer while my fingers thread through his soft hair. he's cautious with me, and it's innocent.

I can feel his boner, can feel from the eagerness of his kisses that he's trying not to bring up the fact that he's literally just throbbing in his pants right now. in order to give him a little of what he wants, I start to rock my hips against his.

Spencer whimpers into my mouth. I stop and look down at him.

"do you want me to stop?"

"no, god, no— never stop." he's mindless in his reply, already grabbing my hips greedily and trying to regain that friction. I shake my head with a chuckle, then resume my actions. he starts to rut up against me, groaning into our embrace while his hands get more adventurous.

I withdraw, breaking the kiss to straighten up. he doesn't stop the microscopic pushes of his hips. I bite back a smile, enjoying the friction, too.

"do you wanna take my clothes off, Spence?" I ask softly.

"y-yes." he replies, gingerly taking the hem of my top and beginning to lift it over my head. when he places it on the couch beside me, his eyes immediately fall to my bra. slender fingers run up my bare waist, his watch glinting in the candlelight. when he doesn't immediately reach to unclasp my bra, I grab his wrist and guide it to the clasps myself. he moves with a surprising ease, unsnapping the thing and grazing over my skin as he slides the straps down my shoulders. I can tell that he’s shaking a tad, but it doesn’t hinder him.

the second that he's discarded the lingerie, he looks up at me with moony eyes.

"can I... kiss you?" he looks at my bare chest. "here?"

"of course, Spence." I nod. he presses his lips to the space between my ribs, drags them up to the valley between my breasts. lingers, then attaches himself to one of my nipples. I sigh, throwing my head back at the way he moves intuitively, sucking and running his tongue over the peak. he squeezes the other breast, plays with the nipple and starts to acquaint himself with the curves of my body.

the whole time, he's straining against my core, rutting helplessly in pleasure. it feels heavenly, with that sweet face of his so devoted to making me feel good, that I nearly stray from the purpose of the experience.

"Spencer..." I breathe. he moans at the sound of his name, then looks up at me from his place sucking on my tits. his teeth graze of my skin and I buck into his lap, causing him to groan appreciatively. my fingers tangle in his soft hair.

"Y/N," he pulls away from my chest, his lips making a soft popping sound. I gaze down at him, a bit lost in the fantasies running through my head. he's a natural. "can we, um-- like, expedite this process a little?"

"expedite the process?” I repeat back to him, giggling at his formality.

"what?" his voice goes up an octave, but he's smiling. "you know what I mean."

"I really do." I lean down, pressing my thumb into his jaw and angling his face up to mine to kiss. while his hands curiously move over my body, I start to push down the waistband of my sweatpants. I break contact just for a moment to peel them off, and he releases a quiet whine. it's cute.

"come back." he says softly, watching as I slide the bottoms down my legs, leaving me in my panties.

"I'm back." I peck his cheek, climb into his lap again. "can we take off your clothes, too?"

"mhmm." he nods. his lips part when my fingers work at the buttons of his shirt, undoing them with a torturous slowness. I can feel his eyes on my face the whole time.

"what?" I chuckle, peeking up at him for a moment before I pull his shirt open and run my palms up his chest, over his shoulders. he nearly shudders at the sheer touch.

"I just can't believe this is actually happening." he smiles in that way of his, like he's suppressing the depth of his emotions, with his brows slightly raised. I take the opportunity to enjoy the sight of him before me, his rapidly rising and falling chest, the smoothness of his skin.

"honestly?" I start to unbutton his pants, and he jerks up into my hand, blushing once he realizes the earnestness of his actions. I smirk encouragingly. "me, neither."

before I pull down his boxers, my eyes flick to his. "is this still okay?"

"Y/N," he groans. "if you don't do something, I'm gonna cum too early." he squeezes his eyes shut for a moment when my hand moves over his clothed erection, like he's holding on. "please."

"sorry." I release him from the confines. it hits his stomach and he waits for my reaction, as if he's afraid that I'll change my mind right now. but I'm definitely not going to. "holy fuck, Spencer."

"what?" he panics slightly, sitting up more. "is it not enough?"

"not enou--" I stutter, almost laugh. "no, it's plenty. I had no idea..."

"oh." he hides the pleased smile on his face, blush spreading over his pretty throat. in the interest of "expediting the process," I wrap my hand around the base of his cock and gently pump him.

Spencer's stomach tenses and he grabs onto the cushion of the couch with a tight fist, sighing.

"mmm..." he doesn't try to word his emotions, but I know. and I like that I'm making him feel this way, sharing this experience. Spencer and I are such close friends, I never thought we'd actually have sex. my assumption was that I'd watch him grow into himself, find a nice girl and treat her like a queen.

but here I am, spitting into my hand before jerking him off to prepare for what’s next. he’s throbbing, sounds coming from his throat.

"I'm gonna sit on it, okay?" I lean down to whisper in his ear. he touches my waist, my neck, kisses a random spot on my chest in the waves of pleasure that I'm giving him.

"o-okay." he mumbles, waiting for me to actually do it. and there's a moment of tense anticipation between both of us, when I sit up and pull my panties to the side. Spencer watches like I'm the only thing in the world, saving the memory of my body on top of his for later.

I run the head of his cock along my entrance, soaking him in the wetness between my thighs. I didn't realize how turned on I'd already gotten, and he lets out a quiet whine when he feels the evidence of how much I want him.

our eyes lock when I sink down. it's a new feeling for him, and the shape of his member as it stretches my walls causes me to bite my lip to withhold moaning too loudly. he whimpers, neck tensing and fingertips digging into my hips.

"o-oh." he sucks in a breath as I reach the halfway point. he's so big, I have to go slow in order not to overwhelm myself. but it feels good, too. like... unbelievably good. I grip onto his shoulders and my head falls forward into his shoulder.

"Spencer, holy shit." I moan.

"does it feel nice?" he asks, concerned for my own pleasure. I feel my chest flutter at the thoughtfulness of the boy wonder even when he's in the midst of losing his virginity, and I lower myself onto the rest of him.

"mhmm," I rest for a moment. "how do you feel?"

"like--" his breath hitches when I begin to rock back and forth on him. "like I've been missing out."

I can't help the giggle that slips past my lips, but then it quickly turns into a longing moan when he starts to thrust up into me like a helpless thing. Spencer is brilliant, but his brain cells go out the window when he throws his head back and begs me to move more.

I nod, raising and lowering myself until we reach a special pace. it's not fast or slow, just the two of us trying to stay in the moment while we hold on tightly to each other. I can feel the cool metal of his watch when he splays his hand out over my spine, the warmth of his breath while he pants against my shoulder.

he hits my g-spot over and over. my moans are torn from my throat by the burning of my lungs. it's like I can't breathe because I'm so focused on chasing the orgasm building in my stomach. and Spencer... I can tell he's almost finished.

the erratic nature of his jerking body tells me.

"I'm gonna cum..." he moans into my neck. "do- do you want me to pull out?"

"no." I arch my back and throw myself into the friction of our bodies. he stares up at me while I ride him, the merciless grinding of my hips because I just can't help myself. "oh my god, Spencer."

he notices how close I am and, in a surprisingly deft move, slides two fingers over my pussy to find my clit. the ensuing noise from me tells him that he's found it, and he begins to rub in quick circles. it's rough and hard, but that's exactly what I need right now.

"cum for me, Spence." I breathe. his free hand grips onto my thigh and pulls me over him, his own words unintelligible within the sounds of absolute pleasure.

"please." he begs for something I don't know, spills his seed inside of my pussy and holds onto me like I'm an anchor to this world while he peers into the next. the feeling of him spreading through my stomach, along with the reckless movements of his limbs and the way he looks at me while he rides out his orgasm, sends me over the edge.

"oh my fuck!" I collapse, grabbing his shoulders tightly and rolling myself down while he removes his fingers from my body. it's jarring, the intensity, like my normal functions can't respond correctly. all I can process is the tightening of my stomach, the pleasure between my legs, vision going slightly fuzzy at the edges. he moans when my cunt flutters around him, the muscles trying desperately to hold him here with me forever. I take deep breaths and slow down, my forehead dropping again while I start to remember my own name.

neither of us speaks. I think I'm still too in shock about what just happened, but in the best way. he keeps running his hands over my skin, then wraps his arms around my torso so that I'm pulled against his chest. I smile, kissing his ear before I finally break the silence.

"hi."

"hi." he's got a satisfied tone.

"do you need anything? water?" I ask, exhausted but realizing that this is still new for Spencer and it's my job to make sure he's as comfortable as possible. he nuzzles his nose into my clavicle and squeezes me tighter.

"stay here with me." there's a slight edge to his words. he's afraid of me leaving. I snuggle down, perfectly happy to remain. heat radiates from his skin, and I like the way it feels.

"of course."

we linger in each other’s arms, both of us coming back into the real world and holding on in an attempt to soften the blow. I just had sex with Spencer.

"thank you." he whispers into my hair.

"for what?" the smile on my face is lazy.

"for doing this."

"well, I really wanted to." I laugh. "so, I guess, thank you, too."

"you're quite welcome." his response is cheerful and then we're both laughing, the sound rumbling from his chest. "can we do it again at some point?"

"I would be happy to." I beam. the contented sigh that leaves his lips, followed by a slight sinking of our bodies down the couch in collective exhaustion, fills me with a joy that's quiet but obvious.

“I’ll last longer next time, I promise.” he says. I can practically hear the blush in his cheeks.

“you did amazing, Spence. don’t worry about it.” I press a few stray kisses to him.

I'll need to go clean up, soon, but it can wait a few more minutes. this is my favorite place on earth.

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #virgin spencer #reader x spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid one shot #baby spencer reid

[hornime]

home workout | bokuto koutarou x gn!reader

“i’d let you do- do anything. anything you wan’ to me. i’m yours. all- all,” his voice raised a few octaves as the inside of your thighs brushed past his cockhead, “yours. all yours.”

warnings: 18+, sub!bokuto, jealous!reader (i mean who wouldn’t be when bokuto, your goddamn boyfriend, is perceived by other people the fuck), also lowkey possessive!reader, lotsa licking and sucking, nipple play, some praise (from reader) and some begging, brief mention of dacryphilia, kinda soft at the end

w/c: 1.5k sheesh

a/n: bokuto brainrot has me in literal tears. him being completely clueless to people flirting w him cus he doesn’t recognize romance from anyone but you has me so soft. i luv this man w my whole heart !!!!! ALSO THANKS FOR ALL THE LOVE ON THE BAKUGO FIC I JUST ABOUT SHIT MY PANTS WOOWWOWO

you weren’t an idiot. you knew that your boyfriend was attractive in literally every aspect of the word. he was sweet, patient, and kind, and what he lacked in academic smarts was made up tenfold in his emotional maturity and ability to read people. big and beefy, bokuto was all yours and all you wanted to stay trapped within his arms forever. unfortunately, to maintain the figure you adored so much and stay in shape for the volleyball season, he had to leave the four walls of your shared bedroom far more than you liked, having a daily obligation to spend a few hours at the gym.

once again, you weren’t an idiot. the few times that your work schedule and his training schedule aligned, you’d been able to work out together. and despite your knowledge of just how good-looking bokuto was and the fact that other people could perceive him (much to your chagrin) you were shocked at just how much people shamelessly flirted with him. 

cute girls with matching leggings and sports bras practically clung to his biceps, gushing about how strong he was and how he could probably pick them up with just one hand. their incessant giggling, mesmerizing hair twirling, and teasing touches pissed you off to no end, and you’d tug your boyfriend away before their breasts got too close to him for your liking.

something else you noticed was that, no matter how blatantly obvious the girls seemed to be, the guys were somehow worse, flirting through terms you couldn’t even understand. they compared deadlift weights, bicep curls, hip thrusts; you gritted your teeth thinking about whether they’d ever compared cock sizes in the locker room—you wouldn’t put it past those thirsty gym rats. sneaky bastards.

and bokuto, of course, was oblivious to it all. how could you blame him—he was so used to being adored! you knew that, to him, all of their praises paled in comparison to yours, but you couldn’t help but feel jealous. he was all yours—should be all yours—and you hated sharing him with the world.

you woke up saturday morning with a ringing in your ears, hand smacking the nightstand trying to turn off that god-awful alarm noise, bleary eyes barely able to focus on the text notification from your boyfriend.

[5:33 AM] kou: gm babe!!!! i didnt wanna wake u up cus u looked so peaceful! im heading to the gym rn. text me when ur up! love uu

[5:34 AM] kou: should be home around 9!! gym bud wants to show me something so i might be a little late for breakfast.

just to reiterate, you weren’t an idiot. for all the annoying flirting you noticed when you were with bokuto, there was no doubt in your mind that there must be a lot more when he was at the gym alone, which, unluckily for you, was most of the time since he was a freakin’ pro athlete and all.

you couldn’t prevent the pool of envy from swirling in your gut. gym bud? are you serious? who could that be? the girl with the arm tat or the dude with the dreads? no, maybe its that yoga instructor with the ass—

you shook your head, clearing your brain. you’d be here for hours if you went through everyone at that stupid gym that had ever shown interest in bokuto. the clock read 9:53 AM and the green flame in your body only burned brighter. just as you were about to call him and ask where he was, the front door slammed open.

“babe! i’m home!”

you silently put your phone down, teeth still clenching in jealousy. for some reason, hearing his voice only exacerbated the tension in your shoulders. you needed him. now.

“babe?” his voice creeped closer as he tread through the hallway towards the room. “you up?”

you peeked your head out of the doorframe, cheery voice masking your devilish intentions, “kou!"

his eyes brightened as he made eye contact with you and flashed his trademark smile. “hey! what’s u-” he took in the mischievous glint in your eyes “-p?”

you grabbed his burly forearm, yanking him behind you and walking towards him, forcing him to stumble and fall back on the bed. “wait! i’m all gross and sweaty,” he said, “gym showers were broke-”

“i don’t care. take off your shirt.”

“wow, someone’s eager. missed me that much?”

“watch it,” you glared. “i’m not in the mood, kou.”

he gulped at the dominance radiating from your voice, scrambling to take off the t-shirt that stretched between his pecs perfectly. with the fabric off and throw haphazardly to the side, he looked to you expectantly, the epitome of innocence.

your eyes wandered over his sculpted chest, the remnants of a soft sheen of sweat from his workout making it shine in the sunlight pouring through the blinds. your heart stuttered in your chest—he looked like an angel. coupled with the way with his bottom lip was tucked under his front teeth and the wide, anticipating look in his eyes, fuck. you almost smiled how blessed you felt in that moment, to see him in such a raw, alluring position, before a jarring thought caused your lips to twitch back into a frown.

everyone else can see him, too.

your eyes hardened. maybe they can see him all big and strong, you thought, but they’ll never get to see him like this: submissive.

and so fucking sensitive.

within an instant, your lips were latched on the soft spot above his collarbone, causing him to whimper in pleasure. you continued to travel along his throat, slowly working your way to the other side of his neck and crossing back to nibble at his adam’s apple.

you unexpectedly pulled away, drawing a short whine from him, before repositioning yourself so that you were straddling his outstretched legs. slowly, starting from the hem of his shorts, you dragged your tongue between the ridges of his abs, moving up towards his pecs, tasting the saltiness of his sweat and feeling the muscles tense underneath.

“fuck,” he groaned. as your lips puckered around one of his peaked nipples, he uncontrollably jerked his hips up, inadvertently rubbing his sensitive cock between your legs. overwhelmed by the sensation, he moaned. “fuck.”

“you taste good,” you muttered, grazing your teeth over his other nipple. “just wanna taste you all the time. you’d let me, right?”

thoughts muddled by just how good everything felt, he nodded mindlessly. “i’d let you do- do anything. anything you wan’ to me. i’m yours. all- all,” his voice raised a few octaves as the inside of your thighs brushed past his cockhead, “yours. all yours.”

you paused. raising your head from his chest, you made eye contact with him, so intense he almost closed his eyes to shield himself from the blaze burning in your dilated pupils. “why’d you stop,” he begged, “i want more. feels so good and i wan’ mor-”

“say it again,” you demanded. “tell me that you’re mine.”

his eyes, glossed over and prickled with tears precariously close to falling, squeezed tightly as he spoke, unable to control the growing volume of his voice. “’m all yours. always. all yo- yours.” he gasped as you resumed your movements, pinching the sensitive skin around his v-line while fervently leaving sloppy kisses on his chest. 

“good boy.”

he keened at your praise. another light touch to his cock combined with the passage of your mouth had him trembling, and his breath hitched as he cried out in warning, tears now flowing freely over his flushed cheeks. “m’ gonna cum, ‘m gonna, gonna cum.”

“yeah?” you whispered, lips brushing against his strained abs. “go ahead then.”

“fuck!” he whined, blabbering as you sat back and watched in awe of the beauty before you, a big strong man like him reduced to nothing more than a moaning mess. “fuck, fuck—you always make me feel so, s-so go-od, fuck i love you.”

with soaked shorts and an exhausted sigh, he dropped his head back onto the plush comforter of the bed. you flattened your palms on his quivering body, reeling from the aftershocks of his orgasm. he panted, running his fingers through your hair before nudging your face to look at him, staring at you with an expression of pure bliss and adoration. he studied you for a bit before declaring with a soft smile, “you’re the best. so fuckin’ happy that i’m yours.”

driven by affection, he sat up and reached his arms around your waist, snuggling his chin over your shoulder and mashing your chests, yours clothed and his naked, together. “kou wait!” you shrieked. “you’re all sweaty again! it’s gross!”

he chuckled. as if you hadn’t been spoiling him by licking it up just a few minutes ago. “you’re right. i‘m probably sweating more now than i was after my workout.”

at that, your ears perked up. “well maybe you should do home workouts more often then,” you teased.

“you’re right,” he repeated with a grin, “maybe i should.” if it meant more mornings like these, he’d forego the gym in a heartbeat. 

that night, he canceled his gym membership. after all, he reasoned, it’s offseason anyway.

© property of hornime 2021. do not plagiarize any of my writing and do not repost/copy my writing onto any other sites.

#i jus wanna lick him clean #sue me #kinky.inky #haikyuu smut #hq smut #haikyuu bokuto #bokuto smut #bokuto x reader #koutarou x reader #bokuto

[goldentsum]

━ thirst posts - idol! reader 

CHARACTERS: bakugou katsuki, todoroki shouto, kirishima eijirou, shinsou hitoshi, kaminari denki

GENRE: suggestive themes, crack

AUTHOR’S NOTE: finally, another bnha post-- my submissive and overstim fic on my bnha masterlist was lonely so i whipped up another bb HAHAHAHA UNEDITEDDDD

━ bakugou ♡

an angry boy that hides his feelings inside and in social media--.. he has multiple accounts that caters to different moods that he has, there’s the daddydom acct then theres the sweetbabyboi acct-- HE WOULD RATHER DIE THAN SOMEONE FINDING OUT HE HAS THE LATTER ACCOUNT

kacchan loves you because of the fact that you two were different but also similar, with him being angry and intimidating on the surface but a mess of feelings inside and with you being sweet and soft on the surface but a vixen inside 

DUALITY-! TODOROKI DOESN’T EVEN COMPARE TO YOU WHEN IT COMES TO DUALITY-! bakugou would fight anyone for you if someone calls bullshit on you. he would 100% NO HESITATION would deck someone-- 

he def has thousands of pictures of you in his phone and laptop, the ratio of pics of him and other things to you is outstanding,, 1:8 def

HE ALSO SCREAMED ONE TIME WHEN YOU POSTED A VIDEO WITH YOU SHOWING YOUR DUALITY--! everyone in the dorm thought he was angry, in actuality he was hyperventilating because you’re so hot-- also this happens so frequently, class A doesn’t even address it

bakugou: [SCREAMING IN HIS ROOM]

class a: lol, yall hear something--

[(y/n)ssweetboi]: hOW CAN SOMEONE BE SO SOFT THEN TURN SO SINFULLY PRETTY?? I’M SO ANGRY AND SO ATTACKED RN-!! mOMMY NEEDS TO CALM THE TF DOWN AND SHOULD JUST WRAP THE HOLY THIGHS AROUND MY FACE-! 

━ todoroki ♡

he’s basically the epitome of head empty just (y/n) 24/7 pls--

people would look at him and think, “huh, i wonder what goes inside that pretty head of his?” then todoroki’s brain just goes: “rAIL (Y/N) RAIL (Y/N) RAIL (Y/N) RAIL (Y/N) RAIL (Y/N) “

if someone has a mind-reading quirk, press f for them because of how sinful his thoughts are-- 

HE DOESN’T EVEN CARE IF ANYONE KNOWS HE’S THINKING OF LEWD THINGS! HE’S SO BRAVE PLS-! SO BRAVELY STUPID AND THIRSTY 

in his room, he has a wall and altar that is dedicated for you. all of your merch, the past concert tickets and bands, polaroid pics he got in your albums, and polaroid pics of when he bought the royalty ticket are all on that wall-- yall wondering how he has all that money to afford that? three words. endeavor’s credit card. 

this boy goes all out when you have a concert-! HE STAYS UP ALL NIGHT TO WAIT IN YOUR WEBSITE WAITING FOR THE SECOND THE PRE-SELLING OF TICKETS. he refreshes the site every 1 second pls--

shouto: [refreshing the site for the nth time at 3 AM] [clearly sleepy]

site: PRE-SELLING

shouto: [SHOOKEDT] [awake af] i AM SPEED-! CLICK YOU FU-

he’s also so cocky and boast-y on his account pls-! he’s so different in his main and irl 

[officially_(y/n)sbabydaddy]: i GOT THE ROYALTY TICKET-! AGAIN! you peasants can’t relate, huh. press f for all of you. i’m going to see my baby mama again <3 a little fact for yall, (y/n) smells really good <3 especially when she’s sweating 🥴 bet she tastes amazing as she smells <3

━ kirishima ♡

baby kiri is still a little shy about mentioning that he likes you and kpop but that doesn’t mean if someone ask him about kpop, he’ll act like he hates it or he doesn’t know. 

A CLOSET HARD STAN THOUGH

hard stan kiri goes HARD FR like his quirk and his dicc AND HE CAN’T BE STOPPED IF HE STARTS

he has you being pretty as usual as his lockscreen and got all giddy and happy when his grandmother ask if you were his girlfriend,, bet your ass that kiri said that you are-! 

inside his phone though, is a completely different matter-.. this boy has all sort of thirst pics of you! and he gets a little shy when he stares at your pictures for a little too long and makes eye contact with you in the pic LIKE HE WASN’T JUST THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING LEWD-! 

he and kaminari binge watches you and your group’s web series and THEY ALWAYS WATCH YOUR COMEBACK TOGETHER AND SCREAM TOGETHER

kaminari thinks kiri is a soft stan and tries to get him to join the dark side aka the hard stan side of twitter-- what kaminari doesn’t know is that kiri is on there already and also creates contents here and there 👀

kaminari: bruhh-! look at this edit of (y/n) as a demon-! 

kirishima: [looking at the video he edited all night] wow--

[rockhardfor(y/n)]: if you see something in my pants- PLEASE ITS NOT A WEAPON AND JUST MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! i don’t wanna go through that again as i try to explain that a video of a queen throwing it back is the cause of that-- </3

━ shinsou ♡

HIM AND TODOROKI ARE THE SAME WITH HOW THEIR THOUGHTS GET 0-100 REAL QUICK-! LEWD THOUGHTS ARE LIVING RENT FREE IN THEIR BRAIN PLS-- 

also that tired look on shinsou’s face is not showing what really goes on his head bUT unlike todoroki, he gets conscious of his thoughts when he gets to the real nasty parts when he’s daydreaming as he remembers there’s people with quirks around him

shinsou: [thinks about you getting your guts rearranged by him] hehe~ <3

also shinsou internally: [realizes that someone might know what he’s thinking about] 002223444212487537924 lah la la la laaa! i’m thinking of rabbits-... yeah rabbits lol fluffy rabbits that hops across the garden- nothing dirty here. just pure innocent thoughts

shinsou also creates and reads fanfiction-- as soon as that bell rings, he would zoom zoom out of that classroom and into his room to read smuts

then he gets inspired and he stays up all night to write THE DIRTIEST SMUT ANYONE HAS EVER READ-!! the piece gets A LOT of hearts and comments and he’s PROUD PROUD

now he also has commissions for fanfiction and shinsou is getting money because of how perverted his thoughts are-! he’s also so talented in writing! HE LEGIT GOES INTO DETAILS SO PEOPLE ARE LIKE: “WOAH-!! HOLY WATERRR”

it’s a win-win for shinsou, he can turn his fantasies into stories and GETS money for it? bruh, fap material AND GET CASH <3

[(y/n)as_akittycat]: so is anyone not gonna comment on what (y/n) was doing in the background? KITTY WAS ON H E R KNEESS-!! bruh, kitty is flexible- ya’ll know what this means, right? mORE POSITIONS-! <3

━ kaminari ♡

this boy has no filter THEN HAS THE AUDACITY TO GET EMBARRASS BY IT-! LIKE AREN’T YOU THE ONE WHO SAID, “i want to fuck (y/n) so hard that her ancestors could feel it-” 

so are you not gonna do it? bruh, talk about empty promises- 

HE MAKES SHINSOU SHOOKEDT WITH THINGS HE SAYS AND THAT TIRED BOY MAKES SMUTS-! shinsou def uses kaminari’s lines in his fanfics pls whatta power duo

kaminari: i wanna shove my dick down in (y/n)’s throat and cum so deep, you could see it trailing down her throat--

shinsou: [SHOOKEDT] what the fuck dude?

also shinsou internally: wRITE THAT DOWN! WRITE THAT DOWN-! 

ONE TIME, he got too excited when you posted a video of your choreography wearing those tiny shorts and he short-circuited-- he really went: “wIEEE~” 

he’s cautious now not too excited, especially when he’s outside and you post out of no where

it’s also a miracle that his twitter account is still running with how erotic and lewd he gets in his tweets-- HE ALSO RETWEETS EDITS OF YOUR MOANS IN HIS FEED-! IN HIS MAIN ACCOUNT! HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A FAN ACCOUNT

he’s either REALLY FUCKING brave or just plain stupid. maybe both idk

[(y/n)k.denki]: have you ever just look at someone and go, “wow, i would really wanna fuck you hard right now” because i do. everytime i see my queen-- LET ME HIT (Y/N)-! I’LL BE GOOD I SWEARRRRRR

#bnha imagines #bnha imagine #bnha smut #bnha headcanon #mha imagine #mha smut #mha scenario #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x reader #bakugou smut #todoroki x reader #todoroki smut #kirishima x reader #kirishima eijiro #kirishima smut #shinsou hitoshi #shinsou hitoshi x reader #shinsou x reader #shinsou smut #kaminari denki x reader #kaminari smut #mha x reader smut #bnha x reader smut #bnha fluff #mha fluff #bnha scenarios #bnha headcanons #mha scenarios #mha headcanons

[redxblueihateloveyou]

how do you think rinharu will solve this issue? having rin stay in japan won't solve haru's abandonment issues and i wonder if competitive swimming is meant for haru, he seems to struggle a lot

Nah-ah, competitive swimming is not the problem here. He has the same amount of struggles with it as Rin and Ikuya. He actually as we saw in s3 surprisingly likes it a lot, and he was very excited about taking on Albert and he wasn't even upset about losing to him, he got worked up. It's like yeah, he takes pressure from others worse than Rin, but Rin for example is taking loses far worse than Haru. But this in fact doesn't mean they can't handle those. They both know that it's just how competitions are and they both knew what they were going for. And when Haru is happy, trash-talking opponents make him go lol and he just has his fun with this too.

The additional stress just simply unlocked the real reason why he's hurt. If it wasn't for this Rin thing he carries with him for like 10 years this would be nothing. Stress from the competition, but more specifically the fact that Albert kinda took away his main stress-relief by "polluting" the water just gave it a rise, but it's not the cause of that. Thinking of Rin easily resolved the "water pollution", letting him pass the free race. It's watching Rin lose and taking it this way that just triggered his ptsd.

The problem was and is what Aki said back when they were little “Nanase-kun seems like he can do anything all by himself, doesn’t he? He’s good at studying and sports and even art. He really can do anything, right? That’s why everyone relies on him, but it would really be something for Nanase-kun to rely on anyone, wouldn’t it?”

It's the fact that he feels too much, feels for everyone and his inability to ask for help in this case from the only person who can help him and from whom he needs it the most.

The problem is that last year when Hiyori decided to laugh about Rin leaving him into his face, rubbed salt into his deepest wound, Haru in return only gave him positive energy, swam with him, gave him happy Ikuya back and watched them being happy while smiling. Did Hiyori maybe say that he didn't mean those words? No. Did someone else the moment he said it corrected him? No. Where do you think stuff like this go?

The problem is that s1 drama was resolved just for Rin. It was never resolved for Haru. It's been just piling up for like 7 years now. I once again will say it, Rin only told Rei that none of that was Haru's fault, Haru still to this day thinks it is.

As for the second part, in my opinion, this isn't quite just about his abandonment issues, it's about his Rin issue. Bc it really doesn't matter if he's in Japan or not in Japan, in a free race or not in a free race (bc whether Rin chose to swim free or not, Rin is right there, and they can still be on a relay team together, and travel together etc). This is only partially about his fear of him leaving.

The problem here is that for Haru it's never enough. When everything was fine and he could swim against Rin and had a great relay team of his friends, he wasn't satisfied.

Rin was near the whole season, he still missed him.

They spent whole days alone together, was that enough? No. He still didn't want him to leave.

But saying stuff like "I know we came here to support our kohais, but please, don't leave, sit with me, not with them" is selfish, no matter how much you want it.

Here he is right next to him. Still not enough.

My point is.. thats not what this is about and I'm pretty sure that's not what Haru's talking about. It's bc he always does everything to stay with him for as long as possible, but Rin is blind as a bat and deaf as a doornail.

And I don't really know what else you can say in some situations. Bc like when Rin spent the night at Haru's and Haru asked him to wake him up at 5am just to spend more time with him Rin answered with something like "hahaha that's great, good night".

And I will never in general understand how Rin even translates what Haru says. Bc when Haru asked him to call, Rin read it as "let me disappear for 5 years, go home for each holiday and avoid you like a plague".

And this outburst of "the greatest pain of my life is when you leave" was read as "let me just leave again".

The problem is Haru tried and tried to ask and show things in many different ways (which was pretty hard considering how he is), but couldn't ask directly for what he really wanted for obvious reasons. And no joke, there is a chance that Rin still wouldn't get it even if he did.

Rationally I think the resolve would be pretty simple, Rin will just enter the free race, bring him back and they'll talk after that.

It's just that with the way this set up right now, for Haru to be happy... I only see one option for how this talk can go, that I always was sure this anime can't give us. But then again I also do not quite get why even go there then.

I guess what I mean is with all my imagination I can't understand how he can ask for help in this situation, except for like I wrote here to ask him "just... be with me. I really need you to just be with me." If he already admitted how much it hurt him each time he left, idk what he's supposed to say at this point.. "please, stay and love me"? also "please, tell me what happened all those years ago isn't my fault" (he won't, bc he thinks it is), "please tell me you painfully missed me each time you were away too" (not to this extent, no, at least first times)?

What I personally want is same thing as in a fic for Rin to ask him to just tell him the truth, ask him to "please, I need you to talk". Gradually, step by step, from the beginning, all that's been eating him up all this years. Just to please tell Rin everything, so he could honestly reassure him, clear up all their misunderstandings, just TALK.

Bc if he let it all out, Rin can easily erase all of Haru's doubts and that nonsense that he is the reason why Rin never stays, that he was the reason he left in the first place etc, and eradicate the root of the problem, after this Haru would stop reacting to each time Rin leaves for a grocery store as if it's WW3.

P.S. I honestly think everyone should just go turn on Sam Smith - My Oasis and cry with Haru, bc this is probably the closest it can come to explain how he feels and just the whole mood for this situation rn. Like I've made a gifset to this a while ago, but rn the whole song is just super on point.

P.P.S. what I'm saying shortly is we all know how you can stop Haru's struggles easily, but what they would come up with hell if I know.

#answered #anonymous #free! the final stroke #nanase haruka #rin matsuoka #rinharu #harurin #free!

[george-fabian-weasley]

if we had 5 more minutes — f. w.

Summary: You thought you could save Fred from the rumbles of falling stones; you did your best, only to be in the rumbles with him instead.

Words: 2,160 words

Warnings ⚠ : ANGST, TW: Death, TW: Battle of Hogwarts, TW: war, TW: injuries, Fred died, you died, big Pain™, I strongly suggest tissues and a dozen of comfort chocolates, I cried so you will too, Basically An Emotional Rollercoaster, Read At Your Own Risk

Disclaimer: inspired by Billie Eilish's cover of The End of The World, so... ya'll know this is going to be a painful ride. Buckle up your seatbelts and enjoy. Reblogs and Comments are Highly Appreciated! <3 p/s: reading this with the song at the background really helps with the tear pouring effect ;)

Disclaimer 2.0: i know what yall are thinking... what tf is syaf doing, posting a fic when she’s in a hiatus she just posted yesterday? Also where is mad hatter chap 5 and epilogue? well, my brain likes to conjure up ideas at very inappropriate times (like rn) so bare with me and uh i’ve been really physically and mentally exhausted from work (retail is bathshit crazy) to write the mad hatter series so idk when will i update the two chapters but i’m working on it! thank you for being patient, and im sorry for causing you guys to wait for so long, ilysm don’t kill me <3 

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The end of the world.

The Battle of Hogwarts looked like the end of the world. Curses and spells thrown left to right, different kinds of bodies found at each corner and crook, walls here and there crumbling as down as hope for freedom. And blood.

At that point of time, the pools of blood on the floor look the same; pureblood or not. Because they bleed the same anguish red.

You didn't need to see the apocalypse of the world anymore. Screw the end of Mother Earth; this battle in front of your eyes was more than enough — sadly — to be your end of the world.

“Hey,” You called, causing Fred to turn his head around to your direction, his lips etched up a smile before replying with another hey. You sat next to him, the place where George had sat before he got up and left to speak with Professor Lupin.

Evil is winning, and good is losing. But then again, what difference would it make; if good kills as many as evil? At the end of the world, there is no good and evil alone. There are desperation, madness, and hunger for power, lust for victory brought along with them.

So, at the end of the world, you chose to be side by side with your lover, Fred Weasley. The red-headed dork you’ve taught yourself to pour your love into had become the very source of your life. He is your elixir, he is your soul, heart, and happiness.

It was silent for a while, none of you had anything to say. Yet the silence was comforting, with only the presence of each other as calming as it is. “Y/N,” Fred suddenly turned his head to you, biting his lower lip in contemplation. “Hm?” “Can you just stay at the Burrow?” 

You blinked, “What?” Fred sighed, “Can you just stay at the Burrow right now and not join the war? I- I don’t want you to join in-” “Fred-” “I-It’s dangerous and it’s literally a war a-and I don’t want you to get hurt I would- I would rather die than have you hurt-” 

“Fred!” You raised your voice, your hand clasping onto his securely, an effort to calm his frenzied thoughts. He stopped rambling and stared at you with those doe eyes you adored so much, “You know I can’t do that.”

“We need everyone on board for this war. I am no exception- bloody hell, even your parents are joining in, Freddie!” You tried to explain slowly, and Fred closed his eyes in denial of defeat. 

“I love you,” he suddenly blurted out. He noticed the slight fluster you had, your eyebrows were raised for a millisecond before they furrowed upon a realization, “Wait, why are you saying this now? I-“ “I love you, Y/N,” he repeated himself and you shook your head, realizing what he was doing, “Wait, hold on a minute, no-“

He was saying it in case anything happens.

“Y/N, I love you-” “Don’t you dare say it one more time like you’re not gonna make it, Fred Weasley, I swear to Merlin,” You cut him off, your jaw clenching at his absurdness. “… Aren’t you gonna say it back?” Fred asked, his voice was small.

“I-” You sighed, “No, I won’t because I don’t want to say it right now, given the circumstances,” You paused, your voice quieting down, “It felt like a goodbye when you say it like that.” “Then when will you say it? We’ve been dating for almost a year and you'd never say it before,” He said.

“Really? This is the time to argue about this?” You gave him a pointed look, but your expression softened as you understood the meaning behind his actions. “Look, Freddie, I- You know how I feel about us,” You sighed, looking down at your hands on your lap, “You know I’m not that expressive with my words but- but I’m trying and- okay, let’s make a deal,” Fred’s ears perked up the mention of a deal. "I'm listening," he drawled.

“I’ll say the words when the war is over,” Fred gave you a sour look that clearly said ‘really?’ and it caused you to huff a smile, “Once everything is over, and everything is okay again, I’ll say them as many times as you want me to, okay?” Fred leaned into your touch as you cupped his cheek with your hand, kissing his forehead.

“Even if I made you say it a thousand times?” He asked and you chuckled, your heart warming at his childlike question, “I’ll say it for an hour if you asked me to.”

It happened so fast.

One second you were fighting off the Death Eaters with Percy and Fred, and then the other, you find your body aching at the major pressure from the rocks and debris that used to be Hogwarts’ protective wall from the outside world.

It was dark, and it was dusty, but you were too unconscious to notice. That was until you felt your cheek being patted a few times. As you gained consciousness with a cough or two, you also gained the pending pain spreading all across your whole body. You couldn’t feel your legs, or safe to say your whole lower body part. 

Memories of you a few moments ago trying to push Fred away from the rumbles but ended up facing the falling stones head-on with him instead began to flow back into your mind. How foolish could you be to act like a hero, as if you could sacrifice yourself for him to live.

“… Y-Y/N…”

You turned your head with a silent grunt, and your eyes fixate at the body beside you, a few feet away, Fred. 

He had blood leaking from his nose and ears, probably from the impact, and his face was dusty with debris from the stones. As he looked at you, he threw you a smile; a weak, hiding the fact that he’s in immense pain kind of smile.

“F-fancy seeing you here,” he grunted with a wince, a smile nevertheless rested on his lips. “Fred…” you could only mutter his name, closing your eyes for a brief second at the growing pain on your thighs. The pressure from the rumbles had slowly increased, and you felt yourself losing consciousness again. Only to be brought back to open your eyes as Fred poked your cheeks a few more times, “Hey, hey, s-stay with me, love.”

“We’ll… We’ll be okay.”

You winced at the trickling sensation on your skin as you tried to move your fingers towards him, “It’s… It’s impossible, Fred…” You voiced out, your voice cracking up. You saw Fred’s lips quivered before he threw you another comforting smile, “Don’t… Don’t say that. We’ll make it… I-I know we will.”

“We… We will?”

Groaning from the injuries on his body as he tried to move closer to you, he nodded, “We will.”

You felt his fingers trying to reach for yours, and you handed him assistance as you hooked your fingers with his. His hand was cold, trembling. But it was Fred’s. And Fred’s hand is always warm.

“It’s… It’s so heavy,” You whimpered in pain, looking at Fred for comfort. All Fred wished to do at the moment was to be strong enough. Strong enough to push off these rumbles pressing onto his body. Strong enough to pull you out from the pain. All he wished for was for you to not be in pain anymore. But he knew he couldn’t do anything. The rumbles were too big, too heavy, and it would take a while for anyone to find them at the bottom of everything. 

Fred breathed out heavily through his mouth, slowly finding it difficult to breathe through his nose anymore, trying his best to look strong for you, “Stay with me, love. S-stay with me. Five more minutes. F-five more minutes and they’ll- they’ll save us…”

“Fred…”

“Five more minutes, I promise…”

You saw the desperation in his eyes, trying his best to somehow keep you afloat until you two are saved. You heard muffles from the other side, Percy screaming for Fred and you. His screams were sad and painful to hear; you would’ve cried for him if it wasn’t for the constant high-pitched ringing in your ears.

“Fred, h-hold my hand. P-please,” You whispered, finding no more strength to say anything louder than a whisper. He instantly intertwined your fingers with his, stretching as far as he could to reach you; no matter how screeching the pain in his lower body was.

“Fred,” You called him again. He chuckled a bit, “You’re… you’re saying my name a lot of times right now, darling.” You huffed a smile, the corner of your lips twitched, “… I want to ask you something.”

“… Anything.”

Your eyes met his, even in the darkness, his eyes still managed to look so beautiful. So earthly beautiful. “… Are you happy, Freddie?”

There was something about the way you say it, Fred couldn’t get a touch of what it was but… it felt like a goodbye. As much as Fred hated to admit, he wasn’t holding on much longer either. He was bleeding heavily from everywhere, his wand was out of his reach, and his body was starting to numb. His vision began to blur by itself, hence he blinked his eyes repeatedly. Trying his best to see your features clearly, one last time, if the worst happens.

This is it, he thought. This is the end of my line. 

Finding an urge to cry, but didn’t have enough strength to sob, Fred let out a tear or two onto the dusty surface he laid his head on, his eyes closing after the content stare of your beautiful— though bloody and dusty— face. How ironic, he’s slipping away first even though he was the one who said five more minutes.

If only you had five more minutes.

“W-with… With you? Heh, always… “ The whisper coming out from his mouth caused you to narrow your eyes at him. It felt strange, it felt wrong. Was he saying goodbye? Watching Fred close his eyes was alarming, so you gained all your strength to pat his hand a few times, “H-hey, Freddie… Five more minutes. Hang… Hang on for five more minutes, please.”

You squeezed his hand, and he naturally squeezed back, only this time it was weaker than usual. His grip on your hand started to soften, but you tightened yours desperately. The pain all over your body was partially forgotten, your only focus was on keeping Fred breathing and alive, as well as yourself. 

“I’m… I’m trying, my love… but I’m sleepy… and tired…” he mumbled, his words became slurred by time. He was on the edge, you realized that. Upon the sad realization, you bit your tongue, trying your best to prepare for the worst. “L-look at me, darling,” Your voice quivered, feeling the sandy surface on your temple as you tried to force your eyes open, to properly look at him, “Look at me.”

You knew it. He was slipping away from your fingers, and you were slipping too. It didn’t matter anymore even if Percy bulldozed his way to you now, it was too late. Simply too late. And that’s none of his faults. It’s none of his and none of yours.

Some things are just meant to be.

You took your other hand and placed it onto his cold, dirty cheek. Caressing his cheekbone gently, you gave him a comforting smile, “Fred.”

He looked at you, a faint smile on his lips. He’s at the end, you acknowledged. You widen your smile to assure him, although the tears escaping your eyes say otherwise, “… You make me happy. You make me so so happy. And I… I love you.”

“I love you, Freddie.”

With a big smile, Fred widened his eyes weakly, letting out a sigh of content as he looked at you with gentle eyes,“… Now that wasn’t so hard, now was it?“

Gentle eyes that soon hollowed empty.

“Yeah,” the dam of your tears broke down, “Took me a long time...” You squeezed his now lifeless hand, trying to find comfort and warmth from him for the last time. You smiled at Fred, whilst tears rolling down your temple slowly as if mourning the passing of your lover for you. You inched closer to him, careful not to graze your injuries, and met your nose with his.

You caressed his cheek, finally feeling yourself lose consciousness. This is it, you thought, I won’t wake up ever again. “You said we’ll be okay,” You whispered weakly, huffing a content smile on your lips. Staring into his eyes that had held so much love and pure unadulterated affection for you all these years, now empty with no trace of life, had sent you into pain more powerful than the injuries present on and in your body.

“I guess we will be, after this.”

“… You spent your last five minutes with me, huh?” You felt yourself going in and out of consciousness, and your vision blurring continuously, “Aren’t you a sappy git,” the mere whisper escaped your mouth with a sigh. The warm smile never left your lips, and the only thing in your mind was how peaceful he looked as of that moment, and you wondered if you’ll ever be in that state of peace, with him.  

“No- no- no!” someone was shouting. “No! Fred! no!” And Percy was shaking his brother, and Ron was kneeling beside them with his hand on Y/N’s head, and the pair of lovers stared at each other without seeing, the ghost of their last smile still etched upon their faces.

On our last few drags of air, we agree

I was, and you were

Happy

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