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#anyways but i wish things were different
josephtrohman · 7 months
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i considered myself a privileged person that i still had a living great grandparent as a 23 year old. but now i don’t anymore because my baba (my great grandmother) died last night :(
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aroaceleovaldez · 7 months
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reminder that the only reason the "ADHD is actually demigod BATTLE STRATEGIES" and "dyslexia is DEMIGOD BRAINS HARDWIRED FOR ANCIENT GREEK" things exist in the PJO universe is because it's a very direct reference to early 2000s teaching/parenting techniques for neurodiverse and disabled children, which aimed to frame childrens' disabilities and hardships as a "superpower" or strength so that the children would feel more positively about their disabilities or situations. This technique has fallen out of favor since then for the most part since more often than not it just results in kids feeling as though their struggles are not being seen or taken seriously.
Yes, demigods are adhd/dyslexic (and sometimes autistic-coded) in the series. This is extremely important and trying to remove it or not acknowledge it makes the entire series fall apart because it is such a core concept. Yes, canon claims that their adhd/dyslexia is tied to some innate abilities, which is based on an outdated methodology. It's important to acknowledge that and understand where it comes from! But please stop trying to apply it to other pantheons in the series like "oh, the romans have dyscalculia because of roman numerals!" or "the norse demigods have dysgraphia for reasons!" - it's distasteful at best.
A better option is to acknowledge the meta inspiration for why that exists in the series, such as explaining potentially that Chiron was utilizing that same teaching methodology to try and help demigods feel more comfortable with their disabilities and they aren't literal powers. In fact, especially given Frank, there's implication that being adhd/dyslexic isn't a guaranteed demigod trait, which means it's more likely to be normally inherited from their godly parent/divine ancestor as a general trait, not a power, and further supports the whole "ADHD is battle strategy" thing being non-literal. It also implies the entire greco-roman pantheon in their universe is canonically adhd/dyslexic - and that actually fits very well with the themes of the first series. The entire central conflict of the first series fits perfectly as an allegory about neurodiverse/disabled children and their relationships with their undiagnosed neurodiverse/disabled parents and trying to find solutions together with their shared disability/disabilities that the kid inherited instead of becoming distant from each other (and this makes claiming equivalent to getting a diagnosis which is a fascinating allegory! not to mention the symbolism of demigods inheriting legacies and legends and powers from their parents and everything that comes with that being equivalent to inheriting traits, neurodiversity, and disabilities from your parents).
anyways neurodiversity and disability and the contexts in which the series utilizes representation of those experiences particularly during the 2000s symbolically within the narrative is incredibly important to the first series and the understanding of what themes it means to represent. also if i see one more "the romans have dyscalculia instead of dyslexia" post in 2023 i'm gonna walk into the ocean.
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I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
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(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#tumblr polls#hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today#still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual#They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully#it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec#fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since#I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm#ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos#or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things#I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming#over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY#I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb#e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about#different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see#stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I#can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud..#but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone#said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects#the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm
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sonknuxadow · 3 months
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if the only footage youve seen of the game doesnt actually give you a good idea of what the game/story is like (like its from a parody video or is otherwise heavily edited for example) then it doesnt count as having watched the game and you should pick little to no actual exposure to the game. only interacting with the games content through fanart/fanfic/etc also counts as little to no actual exposure to the game
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pepperpixel · 8 days
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Some new art of a very very old oc of mine! From like, when I was an 8th grader in middle school to freshman in high school I think, I haven’t thought about this character or the world she’s from in like… years, but my brain suddenly remembered she existed! And so I drew some art of her!
Visually, she’s absolutely mostly the result of my child self sticking Toko Fukawa from Danganronpa and Peacock from Skullgirls in a blender and lettin it fuckin rip. Personality wise she’s a bit different tho… she’s into politics! As in,,, she’s in politics ghgh, she’s like the chief of the surveillance department for the country of (mostly) witches that the story takes place in. And one of the advisors to the head ruler witch,,, she sucks! Hardcore! she’s def a villain lol
#I made 2 videos for this story and she’s in 1 of them#the idgaf video. at the 30 second mark#but. even tho I specifically remember when I first designed her she had the eyeball braids!#or at least eyeball buns#16 year old me got rid of em!!! for no good reason!#they were fun and cool and fitting for her role and character!!! what the hell 16 year old me!#original#original art#original characters#my ocs#artists on tumblr#eyes#doodles#the other video from this story I made is the something’s not right meme lol#the difference in tone is fucking tremendous#that one tho is more… a lore tidbit… like… it’s background on a phenomena of the setting…#as a middle schooler I did not give a shit about major or minor or background characters tho. or even actually telling a cohesive story?#like. I started w a few characters. and then. went on to characters they were connected too. and then characters they were connected too#and then on an on and on it was just a web of vaguely interconnected dudes in a vaguely interconnected world#no. real narrative lol. but I had fun w it! it was cool. I wish I still had my sketchbooks w the stuff I made for it#I feel like it’d be a fun thing to look back on… sadly fire took them… damn u fire ghg#* ​shakes first at past horrible traumatic experience *#anyway yeah! enjoy art of evil eyeball lady w no name lmao#*fist not first… spellings hard#partial nudity#in the second pic. but also u can’t rlly see anything so. I think it’s fine?#I’ll still tag just in case tho
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kindacts · 9 months
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i've watched the get low scene a stupid amount of times but it's just too good. like... alex being an absolute dreamboat dancing on the other side of the floor while henry sneaks peeks at him and awkwardly tries to bop along?? and of course the way alex looks at him when everyone drops low and henry gets all shy and blushy? aforementioned genuinely sweet/serious moment happening as lil jon screams about shaking ass which is also the funniest thing ever? matthew lopez did suchhh a great job capturing the heady feeling of a crush damn
ETA apparently kyle hanagami the LEGEND choreographer was behind this so no wonder it was so damn smooth, thank you king
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lazaruspiss · 6 months
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so many people just hear "dick was a cop" and go "eww im gonna pretend i didnt see that" and like. if its just bc you cant handle the subject matter thats one thing, but often times its just. performative. especially because the actually storyline is so much about dick trying (and as far as ive gotten to reading so far, failing) to make a change in the system and be a "good cop". it's an extremely heavy but genuinely very interesting storyline. dick does find other "good cops", but they're very much the minority and usually keep their heads down, because cops are bastards and will ruin the lives of "fellow officers" who try and do things right. they try to frame dick for murder at one point and everything.
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pearl-kite · 2 years
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Been complaining how I need to learn to draw multiple people, so here, multiple people o3o;;;
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katboykirby · 5 months
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Do you think the characters would bully any demons they see smoking in the area when the MC is around?
Hm, I think that it would depend on the situation, and also on who was with MC at the time.
I like to think that demons are big on things like personal freedom and bodily autonomy, which is part of why smoking isn't seen as a problem or a big deal in the Devildom. It's your body and your choice, why should anyone care what you want to do with it? This is Hell, after all.
So unless some random demon is walking right up to MC and purposefully blowing smoke directly in their face? I can't see too many of the brothers making a big deal of anyone else smoking, or having particularly dramatic reactions, yk?
If a lower demon is smoking inside RAD (something that no one would have cared about before meeting MC) then most, if not all, of the brothers would probably just tell them to put it out or take it outside if MC was close by. Usually just speaking up is enough to get other demons to do what they want - since most lesser demons respect the Lords of the Devildom enough to listen - but if anyone gave them back some shitty attitude? Then yeah, the brothers would definitely stand up for MC and put those lower demons in their place.
Lucifer doesn't even have to deal with this sort of thing, since nobody is dumb enough to try sassing back the Avatar of Pride. Mammon and Levi would both start yelling and insulting the hypothetical lesser demon until the smoker gave up and left. Satan would make terrifying, blood-curdling, nightmare-inducing threats with a cold smile on his face, which is more than enough to scare any lower demons straight. Asmo would scoff and make a catty remark as he lead you away, only for that lesser demon's social life to be dragged through the mud on Devilgram later that evening. Beel would have to stop Belphie from doing something his twin would later regret, and the sight of the Avatar of Gluttony holding his brother back is enough to scare anyone off from messing around near you again.
But for the most part, I just don't think it would be an issue? I can only really picture the brothers stepping in if somebody was actually giving MC a problem. But if they're just out in the Devildom taking MC shopping or running errands or going to The Fall or anything like that? Well, you're in public and this is a free space, those demons can smoke if they want to. But they'll walk you further away or take you somewhere else, if they felt like the secondhand smoke was going to be a hazard. You come first!
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nishibai · 4 months
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!! no reposts/dont use for anything w/o permission !!
MERRY CHRISTMAS 2 THOSE WHO CELEBRATE AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO THOSE WHO DONT!! im posting this a day earlier since some of u guys are in a timezone a day ahead of me!!
here is all my presents i drew! i hope u guys like them!! aaand btw the oc i drew with u guys is my sona, sunny/nishi :3!!
in order: @yourstrulymoonanon, @biological-catastrophe, @jackpotsadgirlmafuyu (i drew lynette btw..), @lenoraven, @bednbunfast @nishibai so i can rb my own post,,
one last thing, im disabling reblogs for anyone who isnt the people tagged above. soz.
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heraldofcrow · 8 months
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Okay, now it is YOUR turn to talk about what your Laurence's (eventual?) vices/flaws are! There is a general theme of Laurence having good intentions but growing corrupt, but at the same time something's always unique and all. I reckon yours is an impulsive and arrogant asshole of sorts, but what else / how can it be elaborated?
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OH INDEED.
Fucking Kotya lmao
Ok, so…I drew this pic literally to answer these asks, because I figured a portrait of young Laurence looking all ✨ambitious✨ would suit the whole thing, so here.
Free art for u
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I am now recieving reports that he looks like Light Yagami from Deathnote even though I have only seen a few pictures of Light in my life and I also totally drew inspiration for this design from a totally different character but ANYWAY
Lol. Ok, now for the headcanons!
My Laurence is pretty straightforward. He has rich kid with a chronic illness syndrome. That’s it. Bam. (I’m kdding. Kind of).
In all seriousness, from day one I saw Laurence as someone that was born into wealth and into a different lifestyle from most people. That’s why the “he’s from Cainhurst” thing was perfect for me, because yeah, of course he is. He comes off like that. (I’ll get to the chronic illness thing).
I’m not just going on some “billionaires can be careless individuals that wreck people’s lives because they can’t fathom being poor or desperate or barred from certain privileges” rant…but I am acknowledging what I see as one of Laurence’s biggest issues, and that’s…well…he’s too reckless with human life. I don’t even think it’s entirely sinister or intentional, but he simply doesn’t get it. He thinks he can treat the world like a lab experiment and everything will be just fine.
(This is also why I think Micolash was more deprived as a child, because he’s sacrificial with human life in a more deliberate way. He’s desperate as hell and is willing to brutalize countless people to reach the top. That urge and drive to even reach a higher plane just screams “lack” to me. Micolash wanted to claw his way out of the slums, but I won’t go into that now and if anyone dares suggest I am saying that less privileged people are more cutthroat, I am NOT. This applies to a very specific type of bastard ffs 💀).
Oh and, since we are not just going over flaws in light of me answering both your asks, I will give more detail on my headcanons for Laurie’s background. After all, it also ties into the flaws discussion.
Bakckground 🔱
So. For some background context, I headcanon that Laurence’s father was, in fact, That Guy we always point out (Beltran) on the portraits and for the same reasons you do.
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Credit to you for the reference obviously, but that pendant…the Cainhurst/Yharnam/Healing Church links…well, yeah. We know.
Anyway, so Beltran was a pretty famous Cainhurst academic professor and research expert on the Pthumerian genetics of the Cains in particular. (When I say I think Cainhurst was full of experimental scholars around the time Byrgenwerth was founded, I am dead serious. I SWEAR IT MAKES SENSE. Byrgenwerth and Cainhurst. Two sides of the same coin, my friend.)
Anyway, Beltran was married to a non-royal but wealthy lady from Hemwick that descended from a Loranite family that happened to be full of priests and seers. Yippeee!
This couple’s only child was Laurence, and he was raised in their oh-so-fancy rich lifestyle where the father was constantly being invited to snobby scholarly events and the mother was holding tea-centered socials in their lavish mansion parlors. Like ya do.
I picture Laurence growing up trying to fit in with his parents’ lifestyle like this:
Lmao, so long story short…it wasn’t his thing. He didn’t quite vibe with the snobby richies he grew up with.
In fact, I like the idea that he absolutely hated his parents’ high class world and felt that they expected too much from him. He was too restricted and stifled. They expected him to be them. His mother was strict, disapproving and nagging; his father was absent-minded and a bit too focused on his life’s work, which, when he wasn’t lost in, was the only thing he tried to connect with Laurence on.
“You should be a great scholar too, Laurence!! Uh hur hur.”
This is where Laurence started to rebel and go his own route, while also developing plenty of complexes along the way (of course). He would be a better academic, better influential figure, better leader, better plutocratic socialite, etc., oh yes. His parents would see.
He had all the makings of these things too, because despite bucking against his childhood influences, he was ,quite frankly, obsessed with enriching study, scientific pursuit, old mythologies and religions, etc.. He loved the world of academia. He was fond of the ancient tales of glorious heroes and scholars that changed the world for the better, and he often fancied himself one of those “types.”
I even like the idea that he discovered the (Bloodborne equivalent) tale of of Saint Laurence the Martyr and saw it as a sign that he was destined for greatness. He tended to reference lofty epics and historical novels in everyday discussion to add a sense of meaning and grandeur to everything. He didn’t want to live a common, mundane life. He wanted to live a glorious one.
And one of the key contributing factors to this mindset Laurence had was his own chronic illness.
Now, this is my favorite thing to headcanon actually because it fits so well??
As a child, Laurence developed early on what I consider to be Cystic Fibrosis, and had horrible lung issues for most of his life. When he was young, the doctors told him and his parents that his life expectancy was likely to be about 30 years. (In the real world, this was actually the life expectancy not too long ago).
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Knowing this, and being disappointed in his doctors for not providing any sort of cure, was the catalyst for half of Laurence’s ambitions. He only had so much time to live life, and he was determined to leave his mark on the world…and maybe also find a cure. Yasss bestie!!
Byrgenwerth 🍎
Laurence’s parents sent him off to Byrgenwerth at 16 to gain an intense and long-term education from Yharnam’s leading scholars. He went with Ludwig, a childhood friend.
A bit on my Laurence/Ludwig headcanon to add context:
The two had both grown up somewhere near Hemwick, and while Laurence lived in a more isolated, wealthy world, Ludwig was a sturdy farm boy that had helped to keep his family’s ranch afloat after losing their larger fortune. While they had come from Cainhurst in previous generations, family chains of bad habits and broken ties led to a lower class lifestyle for Ludwig’s parents.
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Laurence personally knew that Ludwig was a primary caretaker for his parents and many siblings. He was a good, loyal kid, and it was through him that Laurence learned empathy for people with less fortune than himself. I mean, Ludwig would drag Laurence around to visit neighbors and even donate to those that were struggling with money like it was nothing, and I think this is where Laurence started to “feel” for the rest of the world.
Unfortunately, his arrogant streak also tainted it with a sense of, “See! Look how good of a person I am!”
(I think Ludwig did have an impact on him though, so it was always a mix of self-righteousness and a genuine desire to help others. He would have also admired Ludwig and secretly envied his…dead-honest heart for those in need).
Ok. Going back to the storyline, and considering this bond that Laurence and Ludwig shared, here we have them at Byrgenwerth. Laurence was already planning his great ascension into glory and sleepy Ludwig is just happy to be there with his friend and to have been lucky enough to even attend by the graces of a family friend. Yipeee!
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My Laurence was at his most fiery and impetuous at Byrgenwerth as a young teen/young adult. He was passionate, talkative, charismatic, fierce, etc., and he made quick work of getting to know everyone in the school right away. They couldn’t escape him. To Laurence, every other student was a potential ally and “part” in the epic tale of his life.
(This was also when Laurence and Ludwig met Gehrman, who was basically Byrgenwerth’s most well-known “security guard” when it came to warding off beasts or general supernatural weirdness. Gehrman was this odd, older kid in his 20s with an insane skillset. He was already an infamous hunter and Laurence greatly admired his bravery. He and Ludwig sought out the antisocial weirdo that was always hiding in the woods and adopted him into their friend group. Aaaand that’s where all the trouble began lol).
Soon, everyone in Byrgenwerth held some kind of connection to Laurence. Rom, Micolash, Maria, Caryll, Damian, Yurie, etc., and they all had their own thoughts and feelings on the brash auburn scholar. He was a handful to be sure. In a way, Ludwig was the only one that could ever “hold Laurence back” a bit, but only in a very brotherly, good-natured manner.
That’s the thing too; people liked Laurence a lot. He was popular, but they could also hate him or grow tired of him. He knew how to be charming and how to talk others up by pointing out their strengths, but then he could turn around and be so arrogant, self-centered, and envious that it would irk his audience.
They wanted to be apart of the grand tale he was telling them that he planned to weave, but they also wanted him to just shut up sometimes; if that makes sense. He was a bit of an endearing, irritating, egoist with a lot of outward appeal and an inward intrigue.
His true friends also knew that he was secretly very insecure around people he didn’t trust or know, and would be vulnerable on occasion with those he did trust. That bit of heart he could show is what proved to his friends that he wasn’t actually a total impulsive snob. He cared. He just also wanted to prove himself to the world and literally everyone in it.
“I swear, you guys don’t realize how important I am to the modern age yet!!”
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After years of studying and researching his beloved histories and mythologies, he began to take an interest in medical science, archeology, and the mysterious history Yharnam had with Pthumerians.
His illness also grew worse as his thirties approached. He began to study directly under Provost Willem, and that’s when the board was set with all the right pieces.
The Church and Research Hall 💉
Ah, here we go.
I think, for obvious reasons at this point, Laurence’s interest in the ancient records of the Pthumerians and their superhuman traits was to be expected. It was exactly what he was looking for.
Divine blood? A link between gods and men? Ascension? It all seemed like the earth-shattering discoveries he had dreamt of all his life; it seemed like the dream of changing the world for the better, making an impact, and even the subtle hope of finding a cure for chronic illness. Needless to say, Laurence was fixated. Willem was right there with him.
Laurence was an assistant professor to Willem by that point and they began to experiment with all of our lovely blood and eyes in the Research Hall. I love the thought you have expressed before about testing antidotes during that stage as well; something Laurence would have been interested in.
Laurence, with all his bright ideas, was the one to suggest a Church as a way to distribute and test their research. Willem agreed, and that’s where our beta Healing Church began. Laurence wasn’t really a religious person himself, but Yharnam thrived on it and he was smart enough to know that religious authority was absolutely an asset, one that he could peacefully utilize to spread his influence and agendas.
He knew Yharnam had always believed in the Great Ones, and discovering a holy medium to use as proof of their interference was everything they needed.
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Now, moving on with the lore implications that we have discovered about Byrgenwerth and the Church having been united at one point, AND the subsequent schism having been more of an internal divergence within that union rather than the precedent to a direct, dramatic academic/religious split…let’s jump ahead a bit…
Post-Fishing Hamlet and Byrgenwerth schism Laurence was someone a little more cold and cutthroat. He was still impulsive, but his spitfire characteristics were tamer, more subdued…he had taken up the authority of the Healing Church, reluctantly separated from Willem, and dealt with the aftermath of the Fishing Hamlet—something he absolutely felt guilt over, but was too afraid to acknowledge. He hid everything. All that mattered was what the blood could give him.
There was also a new burning drive in his heart upon reaching his thirties, which he had never expected to see. The blood had seemingly lessened the effects of his Fibrosis and acted as a temporary cure. It was his salvation and the salvation of Yharnam. Totally. 100%
Nothing will go wrong.
Yharnam’s Downfall 🩸
We know how things went down from here, but Laurence by this point was, I guess you could say, at his lowest and worst. The mistakes he had made in his earlier years with the Hamlet, the Schism, and the Research Hall were catching up to him, and as Yharnam began to gradually grow worse under the blood ministration, Laurence grew worse with it.
In the public eye, he was a gracious and holy figure that distributed alms and medicines to those in need, who endlessly made promises he probably wouldn’t keep, but everyone that believed him would be dead before they even understood that. Behind closed doors, things were different.
He was harsher with his colleagues, heavily depressed, and more desperate than ever. His illness was like a reoccurring nightmare; something that reared its ugly head in the worst moments and sent him into darker, more hellish states of mind. He suppressed it every time, taking more and more blood to heal himself, but he wasn’t stupid. (I think?)
He knew that the blood wasn’t working the way he thought it was supposed to. It was temporary, brief, fleeting…and if anything, it affected his pscyhe for the worse. He was becoming more paranoid, more withdrawn and bitter. Like a solitary beast. (Omg foreshadowing!)
Most of his old friends either left him, betrayed him directly, or simply tolerated him from that point on. Gehrman was too miserable in those days to draw close to anyone, and Ludwig himself was sinking deeper into self-loathing and disillusionment. Willem was gone, Rom was doing Rom things, Yurie and Caryll were gone…Micolash had become somewhat of a monster, and Maria was strongly opposed to most of what Laurence stood for.
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He had lost most of the old ties that had saturated his Byrgenwerth days, and needless to say, it took its toll. This is when Brador came into the picture, but you remember that whole headcanon I’m sure ;)
This is when all bets were off. Laurence was angry, grieved, condemned, and vengeful. Bro went ballistic.
He ordered the Cainhurst massacre, he allowed more unethical experiments in the Church walls, he tolerated the mistreatment of certain people groups in Yharnam, and eventually he oversaw the burning of Old Yharnam. He hid most of his sins too, hiring assassins and spies to take care of any prying eyes.
This was the ruthless, cruel Laurence that the fandom loves, but I don’t personally see him as having been gloating or laughing through it. I think he was giving himself to hatred and self-hatred, abusing his public image to allow a certain amount of “justified” mercilessness. I also can absolutely see him being paranoid out of his mind.
His former desires to appear as a heroic figure were twisted into these evil decisions as Vicar, but there was also a side to his determination that was fueled by the notion of “If this world is going to be so unfair and unkind, I’ll wrest order from it, I’ll bring us to glory if it kills us.”
This was his true downfall. BAD LAURENCE. BAD.
The End 🔥
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Yharnam was ruined.
Broken down, defeated, and heartsick…Laurence had lost everything. Cainhurst was gone, Hemwick lay in ruins, Old Yharnam’s people were given to the plague, and every old friend Laurence had known had fallen into darkness. Ludwig was dead, Maria was dead, Willem was in a vegetative state, Rom had ascended, Caryll was dead, and Micolash had lost his mind in Yahar’gul.
I also have this theory that not long before the time of his transformation, Laurence discovered that his mother had been living in Cainhurst when the massacre had taken place. His father had died years earlier, and he had not exactly been devastated considering he barely knew the man, but Laurence’s mother, for all of her cold-heartedness, had been a relevant presence in his life. Knowing that he had been the cause of her death threw him into despair and even further regret.
His sickness also finally came through despite all the blood consumption. Blood itself was something Laurence began to regularly cough up as his lungs ruptured. He was going to die soon and he knew it. He was also possibly on the verge of something worse. The bestial taints of his flesh were omens he could not ignore.
That’s when Laurence finally shattered and accepted his fate. He had achieved…a lot. None of it good. Brador pitilessly remarked that nobody would consider him a good man even after his death, and Laurence lamented the dream he once had of dying in a sacrificial, heroic death in flames like the ancient Saint Laurence had done.
The greatest sacrifice he could make was to die, and spare the world from any further ruin, Brador said. He would never be a saint, but he could still die a martyr’s death. An ironic, perverse variation of one.
Laurence’s final action was to summon the Moon in a last-ditch effort to gain Flora’s help, to help the heart-broken Gehrman bring Maria back, to plead for mercy and freedom from the curse of beasts. Laurence promised Gehrman that they would fix everything, that it would all be made well if the Hunt continued. Gehrman believed in Laurence and the promise, but the latter did not. He knew it was over.
The Moon descended, Gehrman vanished into the Dream, Old Yharnam burned, and Laurence turned at last, accepting his demise. Brador finished him off with fire and blood, beheading him afterwards and wearing his scalp as a twisted symbol forever after. Laurence was in his fifties and had truly died a grand martyr’s death. He got everything he wanted. Yipeee!
THERE I DID IT! Damn, I am glad you made me do this, because even though I always really liked Laurence, I never quite loved him. I hadn’t done the character deep-dive yet, but this?? This did it.
I love the reckless, spitfire teen/young adult Laurence of Byrgenwerth, the kid that wanted so badly to prove himself to the world and change things for the better, who wanted to trump his own lifelong illness, and who wanted to be better than the people that raised him. He was arrogant yes, but he was admirable to others in his sheer force of will to succeed and conquer life. I love the idea that he wanted his life to be like an epic, full of heroism and sacrifice.
I don’t think he ever initially used people, and I don’t think he lacked empathy. He had learned it from his friends and from simply observing the world. Yes, he was insecure and envious of others that seemed better than him, but he also vocally expressed genuine support and encouragement on their behalf. They were characters in the story too! They had valuable parts to play! (Oh the irony).
Yes, he was careless with human life. He was simply ignorant as a youth because of his upbringing wherein the “elite” were the ones that decided the fate of others. That carelessness turned sinister only in his later years when he began to lose sympathy for the world. Yes, he made a grave mistake in that.
But there was always remorse. Laurence’s heart was not buried. He regretted every needless death, every failed experiment. He may not have admitted it until just before his death, but he was never entirely without shame. Guilt wasn’t something the heroes in his favorite tales were supposed to feel.
I love all of the symbolism that can permeate his character as well. Blood in health and illness, the forbidden fruit that is dangled to lure men into beasthood, the antlers he carries as a beast, which are symbolic of a glorious crown in most interpretations, etc..
Just how he burns with hellfire, wearing this ironic crown, a sign of his perfectly orchestrated downfall. It’s beautiful.
I love him. You made me love him by writing about him. Congrats lol. Hope this answered all your questions about his flaws and the headcanons!!
Au revoir!
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panicbones · 1 month
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ive been reading books with AI characters in it and i keep finding again and again that nobody does it like murderbot. also why are ppl so desperate to put the ship AI in a body bro the purpose youve defeated it BOO
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Looking through the Pruliet tag and realizing there are different flavors of Pruliet shippers
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tealfruit · 8 months
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it's really a shame I have to sell 40+ of my life hours every week for poverty wages instead of spending all my time and energy on dozens of creative and technical pursuits with unlimited resources
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dantevhell · 2 months
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Good. It's been like two years already and I still have so many thoughts abt amphibia. More specifically amphibia s3. Please guys I have so many opinions and thoughts and ideas pleas. E aske. Ask me about my amphibia thoughts...
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cowboycunt · 3 months
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i see so many posts with people arguing whether or not it’s worth it or ‘leftist’ to vote and i’ll be real all i can think about is when i told my housemate i wasn’t allowed to vote here he was like ‘damn i could never move to a place i wasn’t allowed to vote’ and honestly i do think a lot of naturalized us citizens just sort take it for granted? like if you don’t wanna vote then whatever go you. but maybe go ask a local immigrant or a felon or a puerto rican about what policies they feel strongly about because i bet a lot of them really wish they had a say in things. then just vote on their behalf.
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