#anything i could do would be in the future and i feel awful making vague promises about future repayment so i will not

[shadowthian]

fuck it, original post because i'm pissed and have no idea what else i can do.

TL;DR: i was going to be in my new house today, but we got fucked over and are playing a waiting game for an extra 10 days. requesting donations to make sure i can eat while i'm stuck here.

so 2 days ago, we got up at 5 am, packed all of our remaining belongings, packed up the cats, and began a roadtrip to our new house in new york. we were gonna stop for the night halfway, then make the rest of the trip the next day.

my mom gets a call from our attorney while we're halfway through south carolina that the house was in fact NOT empty like we were told, and the man in there was refusing to leave, stating he had movers coming on the 28th and he would not be moved before then.

so, given we were transporting 5 people and 6 cats, we made the decision to turn around and drive ALL THE WAY BACK to a completely barren house, because we were promised compensation for travel expenses and bedding and shit related to this issue if we did that, and could not be assured compensation if we tried to wait it out in a hotel.

i had to quit my job on jan 17 because we were going to leave at the end of jan, but things got delayed until this point, and now i'm staring down AT LEAST another month without any income, and i'm fucking scared.

i know everyone is strapped for money right now and i absolutely hate begging like this, but at this point even five dollars is better than what i got right now. any donations will go towards food while i'm here and groceries for the new place.

my ko-fi is over at https://ko-fi.com/shadowthian/

if you made it this far, thank you. even just sharing this around helps, i really don't know what else to do.

#financial aid #financial help #mutual aid #donations #financial assistance #i really do wish that i could offer something in return but i have literally nothing on me right now #anything i could do would be in the future and i feel awful making vague promises about future repayment so i will not

[anotheruntitledsong]

i did like the hidden palace but (SPOILER if anyone hasn't read it?) i'm genuinely so annoyed at how Arbeely is handled like... I wish i could be sad but i'm just fucking irritated. I was overly invested in him and that's def why but i just feel like they did him dirty

#the golem and the jinni #i was scrolling goodreads and the take i kept seeing was 'oh I wish Arbeely could've had his family too bad the jinni FUCKED IT UP' #but idk that's just not how i read him. like thats not where i feel the problem is #his whole shtick is being content as the jinni's foil and like! things can change! but the way it's done leaves him totally unresolved #which in turn means the jinni's shit is also never getting resolved because there is like no way to #when Arbeely describes his future family in the first book it's all 'someday... vaguely...' and AGAIN! what you want can change! #and honestly it's really interesting and sad that he makes this sacrifice for the jinni #but it's a layer of complexity that like clashes with how little he is there for and how little the author's invested in him #and like the way the no marriage literally did not ruin his life at all... sure it sucked but the man is still like idk rich #what has continuously fucked with him throughout both books is that he wants (or at least spends half his page time thinking about) #emotional connection to the jinni in a human way #which is something the jinni cant\wont give him even though he's basically Arbeely's only close friend #(besides ig maryam who was rlly funny hinting at her dislike for the jinni like someone trying to get their friend to dump their toxic bf) #anyway the vibe in the first book is that he only thinks about wanting a wife when the jinni is being a dickhead #BECAUSE the jinni eases arbeelys loneliness by just being there because at the end of the day that's what humans need #but then it's made really weird in the second book by Arbeely getting 'trapped' by the jinni (and yet they just grow further apart) #which means that the only thing arbeely actually spent half his life discontent with and then literally died without is not a wife #it's emotional intimacy with the jinni. which is insane to me #arbeely is obviously already tragic but this seems TOO tragic entirely because the book doesn't give af about addressing it #if it was like a plot thing then all of the above would be fine and gutwrenching because it ties back into the jinnis self isolation #BUT IT'S NOT. like i get arbeely isn't that important to the plot but he was important to the jinni and the jinni was important to him #alsoo necessarily disclaimer i'm not trying to say he's in love with the jinni or anything like that #although a queer arbeely (divorced from the above idea) would also been interesting cuz I dont think the jinni has a grasp on homophobia #so idk theyd be keeping each others secrets (arbeely x the biscuit man? JOKE) #BUTTTT! I don't believe he needs romantic energy! him and the jinni having awful vibes up until arbeely's literal death is what bothers me #The jinni is a bad communicator ik but come on... not once? not even before the diagnosis? The jinni also thinks about how distant they are #could they not talk a little? for me? there are ways to do it within the bounds of their characters FOR SURE #im sure this is the point but i do dislike it either way. anyway sorry arbeely u remind me of my uncle #the hidden palace

[vasito-de-leche]

Hiya! I saw that requests were open, and I wanted to ask if you could do literally anything for Vertin and a reader who's romantic. I'd prefer if the reader was not involved with St. Pavlov in any way and actively avoids/makes it known they hate the Foundation, but I'd love anything that has to do with just Vertin tbh.

Anyway that's all, have a good day/night!

;R1999 VERTIN - "this life and the next"

Vertin x Reader. 1.1k words. hurt/comfort It's the end of an era and you have to say goodbye to the love of your life. But Vertin isn't ready to let go of you yet - she'll always find you in this life and the next.

I went for a little oneshot for this one and tried to do the opposite of my usual stuff to focus on the reader's POV for once lolol. still kept things pretty vague (hopefully) so this can be read as an arcanist/human reader!

ty for the request nonnie! not sure if the romantic part came across because, well. MY HAND SLIPPED WHEN WRITING THIS AND I GOT A BIT CARRIED AWAY. HOPE YOU LIKE IT ANYWAY!

Her hand slides into yours.

Vertin's skin is cold, it always has been, but her grip is firm and steady whenever she holds you. There is an unwavering confidence in her movements that sweeps you off your feet, like this is simply how things were meant to be.

Like the whole universe was meant for you and her, and nothing else.

You know of her role and title - the Timekeeper - and just the thought alone makes your chest ache. You know the things they expect of her, back in that awful institution of self-righteous bureaucrats, and your free hand curls up into a fist. You know of her safe haven, a pocket dimension in that suitcase she carries everywhere, but what good is it for when she's still trapped in a gilded cage?

This is an unspoken truth, one no one dares to mention in her presence - all the people she's saved throughout the eras, they know that their freedom and their future comes at the cost of hers. You know this, and so does she.

Above all, you know her.

She's Vertin, your precious, little dove. She's cold and she's the warmest person you ever met. She's hard to read and every little detail about her betrays that stoic nature. She will never stop trying to do the right thing, even when dealt the worst possible hand. You love her for it.

And you love that, at the end of the world, she's chosen to be here with you.

The timer on her forearm continues ticking down, but you don't care what the bold orange numbers say because the moment they reach zero, your life will end. And you've chosen enjoy every single second you have left with her.

If life were a movie, this would've been the perfect third act climax - a temporary goodbye between people who are destined to be together against all odds. There would be a fade to black, and the next scene would show you and Vertin, older and happier than ever, unbothered by the problems of a distant past.

Vertin calls out your name, bringing you back to the current present - your chest feels lighter than ever even as the rain begins to pour.

"I'm sorry. We only have about-"

"Hush, hush. I don't want to hear about that right now." You're quick to silence her with a gentle finger atop her lips. It's your turn to ease her worries, after all the burdens she's chosen to carry. "I want to hear what you think about the future."

There's a moment of silence, she's considering your words very carefully. You don't need to be a genius to know that she's dying to ask you to join her. You could brave the storm with her and everyone else if you try hard enough - but you're not willing to become another pawn for the Foundation. You can't do that to yourself, you've seen the way they treated Vertin, Sonetto, Matilda - everyone else. You've seen what Manus Vindictae do to their people.

"...Right now?" You nod at this, it's only fair after she's asked pretty much everyone she knows. You want to hear it, the hopes she holds in her heart. Vertin takes a deep breath. "You want to know what I think of the future, what I want in it. Correct?"

Somehow, the intensity of her voice makes your heart skip a beat. Like she's made up her mind about something important.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see it - water moving up, rain being reversed - but you keep your focus on Vertin and nod once again.

She pulls you into her arms, a hand in the back of your neck and the other one wrapped around your waist. In this position, with your face nestled in her neck, all you can see is the rise and fall of her chest in the little space left between your bodies.

Your face is flushed with both love and embarrassment - even now, Vertin is trying to protect you from seeing the chaos that surrounds you. You want to speak, to tease her for being such a reliable knight in shining armor, tell her that she can't keep making you fall in love with her, that you're meant to be the hopeless romantic - but she beats you to it.

"I want to see the future you told me about. One without pain, where everything is just one never-ending fairytale. I want a gallant, white horse to ride with you into the sunset. All those cheesy things that you love, I want all of them."

Her hold on you tightens. There is a constant, loud booming sound, like a dying star, that makes your ears hurt but Vertin's voice rises above it. Your grip on her is just as desperate.

"And I don't want to say goodbye to anyone ever again."

It's the end of an era, you can feel yourself dissipating, being pulled apart from inside out by time itself. The tears flowing from your eyes fly upwards instead, and you only let out a choked laugh when you pull away from Vertin, just enough to see her face. She's crying just like you.

"You're so mean, even now you're calling me cheesy and making fun of me." Your voice breaks when you say this, but you still manage to keep a light-hearted tone. "Hey, Vertin?"

There's a glimmer of hope in her eyes, like she's waiting for you to say yes, to dive head-first into her suitcase and forget about this bitter moment.

"Do you think we get our happy ever after in another universe? That we'll find each other, no matter what?"

Just as you stop feeling your feet, your legs, your arms - Vertin leans forward, her forehead against yours. You hate hearing her so vulnerable and broken like this, but you still commit every detail of her face and her voice to memory.

"Yes. Yes, no matter what it takes, I'll always find you."

"Promise?"

Those are the last words you utter before the universe rips you apart and the world fades to black.

You jolt awake, feeling a suffocating pressure in your chest. It's hard to breathe, even more so now that you realize you're crying. Something shifts to your left, the sound of blankets rustling about - the sudden movement makes you flinch, still dazed in your fear.

A cold hand slips off from yours. Someone yawns and whispers your name in the faint light of dawn.

"...Deep breaths, okay? Make sure to breathe with me." Her words are rehearsed, calm. You breathe in and out as she instructs. Once you calm down, the woman next to you sits up and rests her head on your shoulder. Her long, silver locks tickle against your skin.

"Feeling better, love?"

Almost on instinct, your hand reaches out for hers, now tracing circles on her bare forearm. No more "Storms", no more orange numbers, no more goodbyes.

"Yeah, it was just a... dumb nightmare. Thanks for the help."

This is your happy ever after. You turn just enough to kiss the top of her head and smile into her hair when she yawns again. That one is contagious, you yawn as well, feeling much more relaxed.

"Mhm...Oh, your breath smells like the leftovers we ate for dinner."

"Vertin! Way to ruin the moment!"

#reverse 1999 #reverse: 1999 #reverse 1999 x reader #reverse 1999 vertin #vertin #my dramatic ass likes drama. whats new #ANYWAY timetravellers and timeloopers and time related characters are so good bc you can do shit like this #did she fix the whole timeline just for you? just to have you back? #did she save you in a different timeline? did she grow old with you? #who knows who cares its free real estate

[gennyanydots]

Preschool Family Day

Future Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x f!reader

Part of the ‘Spitfire Universe’ unnecessary to read beforehand but helpful.

“Unca Wooster!” Bradley hears a little voice call with little feets smacking the ground as he runs towards his uncle. The day that little boy can say ‘R’s’ and ‘L’s’ properly is going to be a very, very sad day for Bradley. He wants to be ‘Unca Wooster’ forever. More than he’s wanted anything in a long while. Sure the dagger squad formed a little family after the mission but this little boy is the reason Bradley really felt like it was a true honest to God family. Being an only child and an orphan made family a sore subject for Bradley for a long time but not anymore, not when there was a tiny 3 year old who thought the world of him. Bradley’s sure he can convince Eli’s 8 month old sister Ella that he’s her favorite uncle too one day.

As soon as Eli was within arms reach Bradley was grabbing him securely around the waist and swinging him around, he was the fun uncle after all. He swung little Eli in a circle before throwing him over his right shoulder and walking in the direction Eli had just come from. Very unlikely that Eli is without at least one parent.

It doesn’t take more than ten steps for a stroller and two adults who vaguely look like Eli to come into view and Bradley grins. “You guys missing a kiddo? I think I found one but I can’t remember where I put it,” he says before pretending to look around on the floor and in his pockets.

“I’m wight he,” Eli says in between giggles as he wiggles atop Bradley’s broad shoulder.

“Did you guys hear something?” Bradley asks while looking around again which makes Eli’s mom laugh.

“Naw, we’re pretty sure we only have the baby,” Eli’s father, Jake, says with a chuckle.

“Daaaaaaaad!” Eli yells and continues to wiggle while he laughs.

“Oh!” Bradley says and pulls Eli off his shoulder and holds him out in front of him as if inspecting him then turns him around to face Jake. “Here it is. Are you sure it’s not yours? It looks an awful lot like you, Hangman. If not though then I’m sure I can find a circus to sell him to.”

Jake laughs and walks over and pokes at Eli’s belly who gives an answering giggle, “I don’t know. He looks familiar but I’m just not sure.”

Eli wiggles and puts his arms out towards his dad, “Daddy you know me! I’m Ewi!”

“Ohhhhhhh,” Jake says and grabs Eli from Bradley’s hands. “That’s Eli. I know him.”

Eli laughs shaking his head at his dad, “You so siwwy daddy.”

Jake nods and sets his son onto his feet, “Learned it from the best, bud.”

Bradley grins and winks at the little boy, “He’s talking about me.”

Eli laughs, “O’ couse he is. You the siwwiest, Wooster.”

Bradley grins at Eli, “Someone has to be.”

“Eli has a question for you, Bradley,” Jake’s wife says to him. Bradley’s excited. He’s not sure what it could be but anything to do with his nephew he’s down for. Hell if the boy needed a kidney then Bradley would happily head down to the hospital right now, he’s got two for a reason.

“Umm Unca Wooster I was wonda’en if you coud come to my school on Fwiday,” Eli says while looking down slightly bashfully.

“Of course, dude! Tell me a time and I’ll be there. Why am I coming to your school?” Bradley asks while kneeling down on one knee in front of Eli to be eye level with him.

“It’s family day at preschool and any ‘special adult in your child’s life’ is invited. Since there are different types of families they do special adult instead of mom or dad,” Jake explains. “But that’s the day I have that big meeting. And baby Ella has a doctors appointment so we need a stand in adult and we asked Eli who he wanted-”

“And I said you, Wooster!” Eli finishes for his father, yelling excitedly.

Bradley grins, “I’m happy to be your special adult, buddy. As silly as I feel saying that.”

Jake laughs, “Oh believe me I’m right there with ya but I get it. Not everyone has parents or some have two moms or two dads. We read lots of books about all sorts of families don’t we, bud?”

Eli nods, “Sometimes other kids just have they gandma or gandpa and dats otay too! Cause they loved just the same.”

That’s exactly right, bud,” Bradley says and ruffles Eli’s hair as he stands up.

“Do I need to bring anything or do anything?” Bradley asks looking towards Eli’s mom. If anyone had those sorts of answers it would be Jake’s wife.

She smiles at him and shrugs, “Nope, the paper says there will be refreshments and things and then I think they’re singing a cute little song or something, which you need to record for me please, and then it’s just like hanging out. If you don’t have to come back to work or anything you’re welcome to pick Eli up then and you can have one of your Eli and Rooster days but that’s up to you. You’re on the pickup list so should be fine.” She shakes her head, “His poor teacher. Eli’s pickup list is probably the longest of anyone at the school. And on top of that I put everyone’s call signs next to their names so the teacher doesn’t get confused as to why a ‘Bradley’ or ‘Natasha’ is on the paper but Eli is saying ‘Wooster’ or ‘Phoenix’.” Eli had a lot of aunts and uncles in the dagger squad. Even adopted himself a Grandma Penny and a Grandpa Mav since his only other set of grandparents live in Texas, much to Mav’s happiness. Mav loved being the favorite grandpa. Only Mav would turn being a grandpa into a competition.

Bradley smiles, “I’m sure being this close to Top Gun he’s not the only kiddo who calls his aunts and uncles by their call signs and I’m sure he won’t be the last but he is probably the one with the most adults in his life. Other squads aren’t as cool as we are and didn’t insert themselves in each other’s lives. Plus you guys were the first ones to have kids so they have everyone’s undivided attention.”

“Just means they’re spoiled rotten,” Jake’s wife says with a laugh which causes Jake to roll his eyes.

“Oh yeah because they definitely wouldn’t be spoiled without them. They definitely don’t have a pushover for a mom,” Jake says with a laugh.

She glared at Jake, “Says the man who gives in at the slightly whimper any of the kids make. Including the fluffy one.”

Jake shrugs, “You taught both kids your puppy dog eyes. You even taught the dog. You’re just as spoiled.”

Bradley laughs. He loves spending time with this family. The banter always amuses him. “Okay so Friday I’ll be there and then don’t expect to get your kid back for a while.”

“I mean eventually would be nice but whenever is fine,” Jake says with a shrug.

“We’ll see,” Rooster says with a grin.

By Friday Bradley was so excited to be going to Eli’s school. He woke up early and made sure to look his best. He had to go on base for a little while before Mav dismissed him for the day. He quickly changed into a pair of jeans with a white undershirt and a Hawaiian shirt that Eli got him for Christmas. It was one of the brightest shirts he owned and he absolutely loved it.

Bradley got to Eli’s school a little early and headed inside. There was a check in table, for safety reasons he’s sure, and he checked in as Eli’s ‘special adult’ and got a name tag that said “Uncle Rooster” on it with a small ‘Elijah Seresin’ written in the corner so everyone knew who he belonged to. Not that anyone wouldn’t know since when he walked through the door to Eli’s classroom a loud “Unca Wooster!” was heard and a little body ran as fast as it could and threw itself against Bradley’s legs and from that minute on Eli attached himself to his uncle. Bradley didn’t mind one bit. Eli immediately raised his arms and Bradley easily picked him up and set him on his hip. Eli started to point to all the things in the classroom as he made Bradley walk around.

“An dats the piggy!” Eli said pointing to a cage on the floor in the classroom.

“You have a piggy in your room?” Bradley asks walking over to it.

Eli shook his head and wiggles to be let down, which Bradley quickly did then squated down next to the cage. There was a name tag attached to one of the bars that had a name tag on it that Bradley read out loud, “Dr Rooster Cupcake.”

Eli turned to him grinning, “Da Wooster was my idea.”

Bradley chuckles, “I have no doubt about that.”

“We just mostly call him Rooster or Roo,” Bradley hears behind him.

Bradley turns around seeing a smiling woman standing behind him and he quickly stood up.

“Ms. Y/N dis is my Unca Wooster!” Eli said and slipped his little hand into Bradley’s. This must be Eli’s teacher. Damn. If Bradley knew Eli’s teacher was this pretty he would have offered to pick him up more. Or every day. Maybe he’ll start.

Bradley smiles and offers his other hand, “Hi, I’m Bradley, oh oh I mean Uncle Rooster or or Bradley. Whichever is fine. I like both. You can use either or both or whatever,” Bradley says rambling. He’s not usually like this. He knows how to talk to pretty girls. Well he knows how to talk to pretty girls at bars. Apparently he’s not as good at talking to pretty girls in preschools.

You smile and shake his hand, “Hi, Uncle Rooster or Bradley. I’m Ms. Y/N. I’m Eli’s teacher.”

“She’s da best! She let us name da piggy afta you!” Eli says pointing at the cage.

“Piggy?” Bradley questions.

You chuckle , “I’ll show you.” You open up the top of the cage and lifted up a little blue platform and reach in and grab a little brown and white fuzzy body. “This is Rooster.” You say as you stand up and came back over to Bradley and Eli. “He’s a Guinea pig.”

“Ohhhhh a Guinea pig. I thought he meant a real piggy and was scared because that’s not a very big cage for an actual pig,” Bradley says and reaches out to pet the little body but stop just before touching him and look at you, you nod encouragingly and Bradley closes the gap and pets the small animal.

“You’re right it would be too small for a piggy but it’s actually a really large cage for a Guinea pig. Typically there’s a play yard so he has something like 17 square feet to himself in all with the cage and play yard. The kids love to watch him. Every morning he has zoomies where he just runs around his play yard in circles. The kids love it when he does that,” you explain with a giggle.

“Yeah! He wuns and wuns! And sometimes I get ta give him a tweat!” Eli says excitedly. You squat down and let Eli pet the little guy. Bradley smiles proudly watching his nephew carefully pet the small animal. “Fwont ta back wight, Ms. Y/N?”

You smile at Eli, “Exactly right, babe. Front to back or he gets all huffy and we wouldn’t want that would we?”

Bradley smiles watching the two of you. He wonders what it would take to get you to call him babe. Is that weird? It’s probably weird. Bradley doesn’t want to make things weird for Eli.

Soon the Guinea pig gets a little wiggly and you stand up and walk back over to the cage and set him back inside, “Okay Eli what do we do now?”

“We wash hands! No gettin’ sick!” Eli says then runs off to the little sink in the classroom. You follow behind and then help him wash his hands and then you also wash your hands. Bradley follows the two of you and washes his hands third. Bradley looks around the room and more adults seemed to have come in while he was meeting the Guinea pig.

“I have to greet the others but I’ll check in with you guys in a little bit, okay?” You say to Bradley and Eli.

“Otay! Have fun!” Eli says with a smile. Bradley chuckles, “Yeah have fun.”

You scrunch your nose playfully at the two of them and smile before going off to greet the other adults.

Eli pulls Bradley over to a table and has him sit down with him and they both color some pictures, Eli explaining all the different colors to him as he uses them.

You’ve caught Bradley looking at you a couple times, each time he immediately looks down towards his picture and blushes.

Once done with the pictures Eli puts them in his little backpack and Bradley helps.

“There are some snacks and drinks in the hallway if anyone would like. I’m about 15 minutes the kids have a performance they would like to show you,” you call loudly to the room. It’s gotten pretty crowded since Bradley arrived. Every child had at least one adult. Some even had two. Bradley’s pretty sure one kid has whom he assumes is his parents and his grandparents.

Everyone seems to head out into the hallway at once and Bradley sees Eli kind of hesitate.

“Hey why don’t we wait a minute before getting our snack? That’s a lot of people and I don’t feel like fighting some dad for a cookie,” Bradley says to Eli who grins up at him.

Eli takes Bradley’s hand and leads him to a table, “But you would win Unca Wooster. You in da Navy like daddy.”

“You’re right, bud. I would totally win in a fight with all these adults,” Bradley says. He sits down in a tiny chair and Eli scrambles to sit in his lap. Bradley chuckles and helps Eli up.

“You know we definitely don’t condone violence here,” you say to Bradley walking with a stern look on your face and arms crossed over your chest.

“Well I was just saying and he started it and…” Bradley tried to explain before noticing a hint of a smile on your face. “You’re kidding.”

You laugh, “I am. Kinda. We don’t condone violence but I was just teasing. But we don’t use our hands and feet if we’re mad do we, Eli?”

Eli shakes his head, “No, we use wods and we take tuns with toys.”

“That’s exactly right,” you say with a fond smile. “We use our words and we take turns. You’re so smart, Eli.”

Eli grins, “I know. I good. I vewy good.” Bradley laughs while shaking his head and wraps his arms around the little boy. Clearly he’s his father’s son.

You look over at the two and raise an eyebrow, “Is that a thing?”

Bradley nods, “It is. His dad is uhh well he’s a little bit of a cocky pilot. Great guy. Just full of himself.”

You nod, “I’ve met a few of those kind of pilots.”

Bradley shrugs, “We’re not all like that. Pretty sure if I had ended up like that my mom’s ghost would kick my ass.”

Eli gasps and turns to face Bradley, “Unca Wooster! Dats one of da wods we not awowed ta use! I tellin Ganpa.”

Bradley blushes, “I’m so sorry, Eli. Sorry, Ms. Y/N. She would probably kick my butt for this too.”

“Mommy will do it. Or Ganpa. I have you phone pwease?” Eli asks.

Bradley shakes his head, “Grandpa is in a meeting with daddy. We’ll tell on me later.”

“So maybe you are like that,” you say with a chuckle.

“I swear I’m not. It’s hard to remember to turn the cursing off. I’m going to have to do push-ups later over this,” Bradley says with a small groan.

“Push-ups? Really?” You ask with a laugh.

Bradley nods, “Grandpa Mavvie is a stickler for swearing. Last Christmas someone from our squad said ‘F word Santa’ and a little boy heard it and refused to say Santa without the fun word before it. We had a squad meeting about it. Then on Christmas his dad said a bad word and his mom said he was going to have to do push-ups and Grandpa Mavvie then made that everyone’s punishment for saying bad words.”

“Wow that’s rough. I’m glad that doesn’t apply to me. I’ve definitely accidentally said things I shouldn’t hear before,” you say with a shrug.

Bradley playfully scoffs, “Around my nephew? How could you, honey? This is unacceptable!” He blushes when he realizes what he called you.

You laugh, “I know, I know! But try not saying the s h word while you’re across the room watching a kid try and grab an open gallon of paint above their head from a counter. You’d say it too.”

“Oh I’m sure I would,” Bradley says laughing. Huh. You didn’t seem to bat an eye being called that.

Eli turns to Bradley, “Snack now?”

Bradley nods and helps Eli off his lap, “Yep snack now.”

Bradley nods at you as they walk out to the hallway and get a snack together.

During the performance Bradley makes sure to record it on his phone to send to Eli’s parents.

Most people were starting to leave and everyone was taking their kid. Of course Bradley planned to too. No way is Eli staying when they can have an afternoon hanging out together at the park. Maybe even get ice cream.

There were only a few people left, mostly talking amongst themselves. You were talking to one family before the smiled at you and said goodbye.

Bradley and Eli at some point had decided they needed to help clean up. Some people just left messes and Bradley didn’t want you to have to clean up such a big mess so he and Eli cleaned the tables off together. Eli was excited to be a big helper for his teacher. Clearly he was a big fan of his teacher which Bradley was glad of. School is always better when you like your teacher.

When you turned around from talking with the family that just left you noticed the big mess you were going to have to clean up was already cleaned up and two individuals standing off to the side looking pretty proud of themselves. You smile at them both as you head over, “I assume I have you two to thank for cleaning up the mess?”

Eli grins, “I’m a big helper! Unca Wooster said we shud cwean up and be gentemen.”

“Well you two seem to be the best gentlemen. Thank you for helping me,” You say and squat down and hold your arms out that Eli excitedly runs into and hugs you. You smile and hug him back.

“We goin to go pway at da park!” Eli says excitedly as he lets go of you to run back to his uncle.

“You are? That’s so exciting! I’m sure you’ll have so much fun!” You say matching Eli’s excitement.

Eli nods, “Unca Wooster is so much fun!”

You smile, “He seems like it.”

Bradley blushes, “Okay Eli why don’t you get your things, buddy.”

Eli runs off to gather his things then runs back.

“Bye Ms. Y/N!” Eli says grabbing Bradley’s hand.

“Bye Eli! Bye Uncle Rooster or Bradley,” you say smiling and waving. “Hope I see you around.”

Bradley smiles, “I sure hope so, honey, I sure hope so.”

AN: Did I name my class pet Rooster? Yes. Yes I did.

#bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #rooster x reader #spitfire universe #rooster x female reader #preschool family day

[periprose]

Aw, excuse me, I’m a little distracted (sometimes too much...). The prompt would be a writing for TASM Peter Parker 🥰

My question is about the prompt "Three Word Sentences". I choose 1, 15 and 21. I hope you enjoy writing the same way I enjoy your wonderful writing! Thank u , again❤️

Aw thank you!! I love these prompts :)

Prompts can be found here.

Peter Parker angst drabble (prompts are bolded)

Peter gets into arguments with you fairly frequently as of late. He doesn't know how to rectify this– you can’t even speak to him when he arrives to your apartment through the fire escape, as he often does.

“Hey…” He approaches you from behind, finding you in your kitchen, and your shoulders visibly tense, Peter can see you taking a practised breath to relax yourself– and it drives him crazy, because he doesn’t even know how the two of you got to this state. How did he become the bad guy, in which your only ever approach to him now was to treat him as a stranger? Or worse, a traitor?

“Peter. Hi.” You say flatly, upon seeing him, and turn away. “Why are you here? I don’t want to talk, I thought we were taking a break.”

“I just–” Peter sucks in a harsh breath, trying to understand what he could say that wouldn’t set you off. “I don’t understand. You won’t tell me what’s wrong, you keep reading my messages without saying anything– I can’t just let you go without knowing why.”

“Really?” You turn around again, and this time, already, Peter can see angry tears filling your eyes, and if you blinked you’d surely be crying. “You don’t think I get to have my own autonomy, Peter? Maybe I just got tired of you. Maybe I just don’t want to see you.”

Those are hurtful words, Peter knows, and your voice is laced with the intent to make him feel small, inferior– but you suddenly sniffle, tears glazing down your cheeks.

“That’s what you did with me, right?” You wipe your face, but the tears start coming down harder. “You leave in the middle of the night. You send me vague texts if I ask what you’re doing. You never really seem to be at your house nowadays, either. I came there a few days ago and Aunt May didn’t know where you were either.”

Peter wants to refute what you’re saying, but he knows deep in his soul that you’re right. That he’s kind of shut you out without meaning to. 

“That stuff doesn’t mean anything–” He tries, but you cut him off with a half-choked, sarcastic laugh. You’re not really crying anymore, you just look somewhat bitterly amused with his choice of words. 

“I don’t know if you’ve met another girl, or if you’re just not interested in me anymore… all I ask is that you leave me out of it. You leave me behind, like a silly little memory that makes you laugh in the future as you wonder what you were doing with this girl.” You seem so clearly convinced of it, and you grow numb. “If you have to push me away, I’d rather just not see you anymore. Even if I still like you, Peter… there are some things I can’t accept. I’m not some ugly girl you can just take advantage of.”

Peter hears your words loud and clear– that you’ve been hurting so bad and that you really think he intended anything he did maliciously. 

“I–”

“Don’t.” You motion for him to leave, and he does.

Peter is so angry, not with you, but with himself. He doesn’t think of you as some dalliance that he’s just taking because he’s bored. He really, truly cares about you, and he hates himself for not properly showing it.

/

It’s later that night. You’re lying in bed, wondering if you’ll be able to get over it. 

Peter Parker was– is– the love of your life, and you know you’re trying to ignore that, trying to diminish his appeal to you so you can move on. But you can’t lie to yourself– you’re really, truly hurt.

He treated you like you were second best. And you took it for a while, because you were so used to being second best in everything, but you knew it wouldn’t last. You couldn’t keep being affectionate towards him for just a smidgen of the same affection from him.

You really hope you’ll never see him again. If he can’t see what was wrong, if he can’t change… you really hope the break will stay permanent.

There’s a knock at your bedroom window. 

You sit up, already disgruntled, ready to tell Peter to fuck off back to his house, but instead you blink with tired eyes, not quite believing what you’re seeing.

It’s Spider-Man, hanging off upside down on the fire escape’s framework, and you watch as he knocks again.

You walk quickly, and lift up your window.

“Spider-Man?” You ask, and he nods, knowing that he must look like a celebrity of sorts to you. “What are you doing here?”

“Uh… trouble in the neighbourhood. Just someone suspicious walking around outside, and I thought I’d check up on people in these apartments.” Spider-Man says, and he tilts his head at you. “You okay?”

“Um…” You swallow, and for some reason, maybe Spider-Man’s public reputation of being a pretty nice dude, maybe because you’re feeling vulnerable, you shake your head. “I’m not doing great. Do you have a second to talk?”

He nods and you let him in.

“Nice room. Like the Radiohead poster.” Spider-Man whistles, and you snort but sit down on your bed, and he takes a moment before deciding to sit on the ground, criss-cross apple sauce like a child. A very earnestly listening child.

“So, what’s up?” He asks. “Did the guy come around these parts?”

“Uh… no. It’s not really about that.” You shuffle in your seat. “I mean, unless the guy was named Peter Parker?”

Spider-Man is silent and still for just a moment, and then he speaks. “Don’t think so.”

“Right. Peter wouldn’t do that.” You squeeze your arms around yourself. “Anyways. I think I’m just struggling to be good enough, you know? Good enough for myself. I just broke it off with him, maybe for good, but I still feel… small. Tiny. I don’t think he ever really cared about me as much as I did him, so it’s like I’m grieving over something that I know is one sided. I wish he felt the same hurt I do.”

“What makes you so sure he doesn’t?” Spider-Man leans forward, as if he doesn’t just want to hear the answer for your benefit, but for his. “Did you ever tell him about these feelings?”

“Well, I tried, but… I guess it just never happened. Suddenly he just stopped being around for me, and don’t actions speak louder than words?” You try, and Spider-Man kinda goes “ehhhh.”

“Depends on if you know his intentions, I think. Maybe give this guy another shot. Perhaps he didn’t know what he was doing? I know my loved ones never get to see me, and it’s for reasons I can’t easily explain to them, you get me?” Spider-Man shakes his head, even if you do understand his whole superhero shtick. “Never mind, it’s not about me. Listen. You are enough. Don’t let some idiotic nerd make you feel any different. You deserve to live your life how you see fit. If it’s without him, then that’s okay. You’re not any lesser of a person if you’re on your own.”

Somewhere along Spider-Man’s speech, you started crying a little. You don’t know why, but it really felt good to hear him say those words. 

“I hate how right you are.” You bite your lip. “I know, I know. What else could I expect from Spider-Man, right?”

“Right.” Spider-Man motions to give you props, and you do it. “Glad you’re feeling better.”

“I think I should talk to him. Even if I can rely on myself… I still think he deserves a second chance. Just to hear him out.” You say, and turn to Spider-Man. “Does that sound crazy?”

“Not at all. Totally normal.” Spider-Man nods maybe a little too eagerly, and he reminds himself to dial it back. 

“How did you know Peter was an idiotic nerd, anyways? Is it that obvious from the name?” You snicker as you wipe your wet face, and Spider-Man pauses.

Do I do it? Tell her my secret? He thinks. It’ll put her in danger… but I can’t bear to be away from her anymore. I don’t want to see her cry anymore.

Ah, I’ll do it.

Spider-Man pulls you towards him, his hands enclasping yours in a strangely tender embrace.

“Huh?”

“I need to tell you something.” His shoulders tense, he seems to be struggling with it, and then it comes.

Spider-Man pulls off his mask, leaving one dishevelled looking Peter Parker, hair all askew, eyes somewhat embarrassed as he glances at you and back at the ground, over and over. His face is rapidly turning pink.

“Wait, what?” You shake your head. “You’re Spider-Man? But you… you’re…”

“Well, don’t tell me you’ve forgotten already. C’mon, say my name.” Peter jokes, and you shove him and he laughs a little before turning solemn. “I am Spider-Man, and I’m sorry.”

“Peter Parker, you idiot.” You cross your arms and then clamber off the bed to give him a big hug. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Obviously so you wouldn’t get hurt.” His arms come up around your waist, and he squeezes you as he holds you close, on his lap.

“But I did.” You sigh and then shut your eyes, letting your chin rest on Peter’s shoulder. “I’m so dumb. Getting all insecure for nothing… yikes.”

“Whoa, no. Don’t say that.” Peter pulls your face into his hands so you can see his expression. He looks overwhelmingly honest, but also hurt. Upset, just like you had hoped he would be, to prove that he does care. “You had your reason to be insecure. I should’ve never shut you out– really it’s my fault for hurting you. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” You smile up at him, and Peter smiles back fondly. “At least now I know how you get to my window so easily.”

“I think you were usually too distracted to question it.” Peter snickers, reminding you of how he would often sneak into your room in the dead of night, and have his way with you.

Kind of like right now.

You can see the dots connect in Peter’s eyes, and he pulls your face forward with unrelenting speed, kissing you, and before you know it you can barely think straight. It’s maybe too much to handle, what with Peter looking very dashing in his Spider-Man uniform and having literally been your hero today. It doesn’t matter, as he murmurs something– maybe he’s groaning slightly into your mouth as you shift around his lap. His hands push under your shirt, feeling around your waist and bare back, and then Peter wraps your legs around his torso as he lifts you up, and lays you down onto your bed. 

“You wouldn’t happen to have a thing for Spider-Man, would you?” Peter asks jokingly, hovering over you, resting on his arms as you lie waiting for him, his arm, but you sincerely nod as he kisses you again. 

#peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker angst #tasm peter parker #tasm peter parker x you #tasm peter parker x reader #tasm!peter x reader #tasm!peter parker #tasm!peter parker fluff #tasm #tasm peter x reader #tasm peter x you #tasm!peter angst #tasm peter angst #spiderman x reader #spider-man x reader #spider man x reader #spider man x you #spiderman x you #tasm x reader #tasm x you #x reader #reader insert #tasm!peter one shot #tasm spiderman #the amazing spiderman

[h0n3yk1tt3n]

oooooh now im curious what your particular interpretation of the squip is 👀

you asked for it /lh

so i've basically always taken a liking to the "cold emotionless computer that cares only about results and not the suffering that must occur to get said results" approach. a squip's sole purpose is to improve its user's life, right? to have jeremy be horrified over the house fire and have the squip respond to people - teenagers - getting hurt with indifference is a chilling way to set off those alarm bells in jeremy's head that there's something more sinister going on. and then we get to the whole hivemind bit later under the idea that if everyone is squipped, everyone's goals line up with jeremy's and there are less hoops to jump through when human error is removed from the probability pool. (envisioning possible futures, infinite variables spawning infinite room for unfavorable outcomes, yadda yadda yadda.)

the squip presents this as being in jeremy's best interest. "I'm going to improve your life, Jeremy. If I have to take over the entire [student body/world] to do it." (whether the hivemind was a red herring and the plan was always for the squips to get deactivated is another discussion entirely, but it does further emphasize just how many variables the squip had to account for and how determined it was help and/or "help" jeremy.)

sure the squip "emotes" in canon, in so much that it mimics human emotion in order to connect with jeremy and build his trust in it. or in cases where it's being blatantly hurtful a la "everything about you sucks," it's used as an intimidation tactic to scare jeremy into obedience because it brings this air of "wow, it's a scientific fact that i'm awful" and so he wants to listen to its advice and earn its approval. then the squip turns it around halfway through bmc part 2 by praising what jeremy could be when not five seconds earlier it was berating what he was. no emotion the squip is feeling is "real" so it can change them on a dime to suit however it's trying to manipulate jeremy at any given time.

i think they have a really interesting dynamic and i'd love to explore the manipulation and abuse tactics the squip uses on jeremy to wear him down and make him seek out its approval by doing as it says for hopes that he'll be better for it. (see also the quasi-love-bombing in bmc part 2 after the squip basically nitpicked and insulted him for a song and a half and later telling him how much he's improved just before the pitiful children)... and i want to emphasize this as an abusive dynamic between a teenager and a parental/mentor figure.

look no further than the squip calling jeremy "slugger" at the end of bmc part 2 and the script describing it as "very father/son after the ballgame," or hell, the very nature of a squip guiding you through life. it makes a lot of sense for jeremy to latch onto the first "functional adult" figure to waltz into his life and offer to help him because look at his dad. (this isn't shade. i love mr. heere because he reminds me so much of how my dad was when i was in middle-high school.) and the squip leans into this role the moment it sees mr. heere. "That's the source of your genetic material?" "That's my dad, yeah." "We should double those push-ups." it's implicitly saying "yeah your dad is shit, listen to me instead. i can actually help you."

now in case it somehow wasn't clear, i don't want anything to do with technical difficulties as anything even vaguely resembling a ship. but it would be a disservice to not mention that the way that the squip can take away jeremy's bodily autonomy on a whim and the kind of psychological damage that can do to jeremy does draw heavy comparisons to sexually abusive dynamics. (i can talk about how the squip's involvement in dywh completely exacerbated chloe's actions to be far worse than they would've otherwise been if she was just drunkenly bumbling around for four minutes - barring the discussion of whether or not the squip actually intended on letting chloe jump jer's bones or if it knew that she wouldn't actually get that far - until i'm blue in the face, and i have.) that being said, beyond this parallel, it's really not something i want to be super literal about, except in the one scene where it's about as literal as it gets without officially getting there.

which is why the "i'll tenderly guide you // just take me inside you" line works. yes it's creepy. yes it invokes an upsetting idea of where squipemy shippers got their fuel. but it's supposed to be unsettling. this is supposed to be the first real red flag shooting off in the audience's brain saying "hey i think this thing is the bad guy actually," because literally everyone got squicked out by the idea of fake keanu reeves saying this to a teenager.

"ya know for all this talk about the squip being manipulative and creepy, that kinda contradicts the emotionless computer trying to accomplish its goal and Improve Its User's Life thing. why would the squip go out of its way to be gross and mean when it could just present itself more logically, or not have halloween be a shitshow?" well that wouldn't be as fun to watch, for one thing. and for two things, it further emphasizes how it doesn't care who it has to hurt to get what it wants, even if that involves hurting the person that they're guiding.

let's look at the musical after the play. jeremy still has all his popular friends. michael came back for him so they're besties again. his dad is making efforts to actually Be A Dad after presumably years of sulking. and christine doesn't hate him after everything! (you could go as far as to say they even got together if you go off the bway ending.) things are ok.

and it's all because the show progressed exactly how it did.

jeremy had to block michael out so that he'd research into squips and ultimately end up deactivating them all. he had to date brooke in retaliation to jake dating christine so that chloe would want to kill two birds with one stone by getting back at jake and being petty to brooke in the process. the fire had to happen so that jeremy could question how trustworthy his squip really was. jeremy had to blow up at his dad so that he'd get his shit together, enlist michael's help, and have him save jeremy at the play. etc etc ad nauseam. everything had to go Exactly Perfect so that jeremy could come out of it with his old friend, his new friends, a more active dad, and depending on how you view the ending, the girl he'd been chasing after.

all the instances of the squip being manipulative and abusive are all meant to add up for jeremy to slowly realize that this wasn't who he wanted to be. he didn't want to hurt people. he didn't want to endure constant criticism and scorn for who he was. he wanted to like himself and have a support system that liked him too. and he had to go through a lot of shit to realize i shouldn't have to live like this and rebel against the squip and resist the voices in his head so that he could take the steps to actually liking himself for who he was and not for what the squip told him to be.

is this to say that the squip is actually good? NOPE! jer's squip is a textbook lawful evil character right there. maybe neutral evil at best.

you think the constant berating and shocking isn't going to stick with jeremy? voices in my head enforces that the bad voices don't just go away, but that you have know which ones to actually listen to. he's still gonna have "everything about you sucks" floating around in his head until the cows freeze over. like rich, he's going to wish that the "correct" choices could just be given to him instead of accepting that making mistakes is just part of having free will. it came free with your fucking xbox. there is still angst baked into the concept of once having someone smarter than you conditioning you into a certain persona and then being utterly lost when it's gone, even if they were a giant dick to you.

but for all the shitty things that the squip did... it did improve jeremy's life. it gave him a larger friend group, a more present dad, the self worth to say "fuck you, i'm gonna live my life how i want," and for the times when it wasn't nitpicking and abusing... things were good. it built jeremy up too. it encouraged him during agtikbi despite the jake suckerpunch, it acted paternal at the end of bmc part 2, it sounded damn near excited when presenting squipped christine to jeremy. look, here she is! she likes you! i told you you'd have her! sure, we don't really see enough of these nuances after the time jump between act one and two to gauge what things looked like when they were at their best, but you can still see in these small moments that they're there.

and while i'm as much a fan of jeremy being haunted by how much he hurt michael (and by extension how much everyone got hurt, indirectly or not), i'd like to see him be haunted by the good times too. to kinda miss aspects of the squip. to miss not having to think for himself. and to feel bad about it because how can he say he misses the thing that burnt jake's house down. the thing that isolated michael for weeks on end. that led brooke on. that caused so. much. suffering. and jeremy misses it??? i think it would be really fun to explore that not just with jeremy, but with rich as well. it's fun to shit on the squips for being evil bastards and watch rich and jeremy heal and become gleefully spiteful toward everything their squips told them to be, but i also wanna see all the contradicting thoughts and confusion and self-loathing it took for them to get to that point.

that. is a fic i wanna read.

#asks #mj says shit #be more chill #squip #jeremy heere #rich goranski #this post went it places i didn't expect it to but godDAMN the squip is interesting #and a lot of times it's just boiled down to screaming insults at jeremy in fics. or thirst traps. or memes. which hey have fun but.. #i want a capital v Villain that makes you Think. personally. #it's SO. MUCH. SMARTER THAN THAT. #squip squad #or the allusion to them ig

[choccy-milky]

Hi! I started reading your story sometime in the last week and I’m OBSESSED! I normally don’t have much patience and can’t get myself to read anything past like 15k or anything that’s still being worked on, but your story hooked me almost instantly! I really liked the description and decided to give it a try and I’m so glad I did. The detailed descriptions you give pull me into the story and the way you seamlessly switch points of view feels so natural. I just wanted to let you know how much I’m enjoying reading so far and I’m excited for more! ❤️

AW TYSM😭😭 this means a lot, esp since ive been kinda self conscious about the length of my fic lately (and also how long its gonna end up being once im actually done LMFAO) and ik my chapters have gotten ginormous BAHAHA so im glad that even if you don't usually read long stuff you still gave my fic a try and enjoyed it so much + are looking forward to more!!💖💖so ty again😭🙏 AND as usual i'll be using this to answer other asks:

thank you and AA im glad to hear it!! a lot of people have been telling me ive been inspiring them to draw lately and i love it (im just sorry i dont have any concrete tips to give people other than keep practicing LOL) but good luck and i hope you keep at it!!🥰🥰

GIRL IDK, IDEK HOW LONG THE STORY IS GONNA BE, but assuming im still brainrotted even when its done then YEAH u wouldnt be able to stop me if you tried😊 (im glad you like them so much as well, ty!!😭)

thank you!! and yes i usually have at least a vague idea of what i want in the story before i start, though a lot of it didn't become concrete until i started writing/things evolving from there. i made a big (slightly) vague timeline of the entire fic from beginning to (almost) end, and then i keep fleshing it out from there as the ideas keep coming to me/evolving, and for each chapter i make an even more detailed outline, and THEN i get started on the final chapter. so its a bit of a process bahaha, but the brainstorming is really fun!! as for any advice, im not sure. maybe just brainstorm/write down scenes and ideas that you know for a fact that you want to put in your fic, and then try to find a way to connect them to other scenes from there and work backwards. basically WRITE WHAT YOU WANT TO READ, cuz like im my own biggest fan fr, thats the most important part LMAO

LMFAO speaking of outlining future events.....this may or may not happen in the future/in an epilogue when clora is pregnant and she got those pregnant woman hormones that seb is fighting for his LIFE to keep up with HAHAHA

ive been drawing since i was 4 years old so...a while. LOL. and if you even look back to the beginning of my blog, my first drawings of seb were SO UGLY💀💀 so if you just keep drawing you constantly get better naturally (also in response to the other ask you sent as well, i use clip studio paint to draw!)

AW TYYY. AND YES CLORA WILL HAVE ANOTHER MC MOMENT, the ranrok confrontation is still coming, after all...👀👀 and true, idek who would win if clora and seb duelled again with neither of them holding back, but u are so right. even if clora DID win that would do nothing to change sebs mind about how protective he is LMFAO. THANK YOU AGAIN im glad you like my fic + drawings so much!!💖💖

BAHAHAH in my fic (for smut reasons and so that they could be 17 when they did the nasty) i made clora's bday april 3rd and sebs february 12, so clora is an aries and seb is an aquarius (and yes i just checked and apparently they ARE compatible, so seb can rest. also i just read up on aquarius and damn it unintentionally suits seb so well?? LOL "Aquarius is undoubtedly the most innovative, progressive, rebellious, and humanitarian. " and "They have incredible energy, though they may not always use it wisely. They find it easy to get through life on charm and good looks." LMFAO. ok king we love that

#ask #THERES STILL SOME I HAVENT REPLIED TO BUT JUST KNOW I APPRECIATE THEM ALL💖💖

[fuzztacular]

Fukunaga does stand up comedy, tonight, and he's hella nervous so the team has promised not to show up as audience.

Instead, they are at your place, bullying you into wearing something very flashy - like a neon green hoodie or the giant Pikachu Hat Fukunaga won you at last year's festival - so that Fukunaga won't notice them in the background when they smuggle you into the show.

What better way of curing nerves than to be more embarrassing?

I scowl at Kuroo. I'm kinda peeved that his sad excuse for an idea isn't such a bad one. Most of the old Nekoma volleyball team is crowded into my living room on an unannounced visit. After hearing that I was the only one allowed to go to Shōhei's second ever stand up show, he did a good job of hiding his first one from them, they were upset to say the least. His feelings on the issue didn't seem to matter, they are insistent that they support their friend and ex teammate. I think their curious natures are getting the better of them more than anything though.

As soon as I turn my back Yamamoto pipes up, "Aw come on, you know it would work!"

I heave a sigh, "Yeah yeah, just let me think for a minute."

It could definitely work, with a properly thought out plan. Do I have what I need to pull this off? What about timing? Do I signal them to come in after he's distracted or should they be hiding somewhere inside?

A vague plan starts to form in my head, but there are so many possibilities of failure. I turn back and eye them appraisingly. "Okay, if we're doing this, we do it my way, got it?" The group cheers, minus Kenma, who perks up in interest. "BUT!" They groan at the mention of another condition. "You guys owe us."

Yaku speaks up this time, eyeing me back critically, "What's your price?"

"I want one of those expensive cakes from that bakery down the road."

"That's all?" Lev's surprise is apparent.

"No that's not all, you guys buy our drinks tonight after his gig."

"Obviously," Kuroo leans back into the couch.

I clap my hands, "Alright then, here's how this will go..."

-----

Sitting alone at the closest table to the stage, I feel the hair at the back of my neck stand on end. Ever since we left my apartment I've felt eyes on me. So many eyes. And not just the Nekoma guys' either. I don't love all the attention but at least we know my distraction attempt will work. It's fine, this is totally fine. Just think of how decadent that cake is going to taste. This all will definitely be worth it...I hope.

As the act before Shōhei leaves the stage, I glance back to the bar area, making sure the guys aren't causing mayhem or drawing attention. Nope, all eyes are still on me. Phase One: success. As my man is finally announced, I perk up, preparing for my part in Phase Two.

Shōhei makes his grand entrance. I shoot to my feet hooting and hollering, clapping in overzealous excitement. The man of the hour startles at the commotion, turning my way and stops, mouth hanging open gawking at my attire. He can't seem to believe it's really me in the embarrassing cow onesie, udders in full view, topped with a bright glittery orange cowboy hat.

My wink restarts his brain and with a guffaw at my expense he proceeds... to make me the butt of his jokes for the next several, long minutes. My favorite punchline ending with, "that's not a cow, that's my future wife!"

Long story short, not only did I end up helping Shōhei with his nerves, but he never even realized the group was there until he met us at the bar. After I changed out of that horrendous get up, of course.

#it's just a little drabble so it's fine that the ending was rushed #Shōhei Fukunaga x reader #Haikyuu #look at me actually tagging my shit #lol

[utilitycaster]

I don't know which particular post about chetney you may be referring to in the post regarding to a potentially animated c3, but I personally see no harm in speculating how things could be adapted. It's both fun and a interesting creative exercise, provided one understands that they can't have solid expectations for something that would without a doubt be several years into the future at least. To me it's not much different than coming up with theories for how things may turn out - the fun is in the doing, not in being proven correct (though that would certainly be satisfying). I don't see why speculating how something would be adapted hinders one from enjoying the show as it is right now. Feel free to disregard this if I've misunderstood your post, I'm genuinely curious to hear more of your thoughts about this though

In the interest of keeping a vague post vague I am not going to provide more details, but it was about a hypothetical (ie, future in the current canon of C3) decision they felt would not be satisfying in adaptation, ie, it was not about the nature of adaptation so much as bleeding a little into decision making in Campaign 3. It was verging on "they should think about how this choice will play in the (hypothetical) eventual animated series", and that was what I didn't like. I love speculation on how a finished series might be adapted! I have engaged in a lot of that myself. This was not that.

But more importantly, I love complaining, and that post is me complaining. I think there's a really awful tendency in fandom spaces to think the only things you can complain about must be Problematic And Harmful, and also that complaining about anything means you are trying to shut it down, and those are both incorrect (and lead to the similarly toxic mentality of then trying to justify all dislike by saying things are Problematic And Harmful when they aren't).

Most of the things I complain about are not remotely problematic (though some are); many are just, in my opinion, really fucking stupid. And because I have some small number of manners and do not go onto people's own blogs or inboxes to say "hey your post is stupid" I just make a vague post about it, leave it untagged, and if anyone has a problem with my post I hope they will also either do the same on their blog or if they're really bothered, take steps to ensure they don't see my posts. You know that post that says "this website should function as a matryoshka doll of kvetching?" That is my mission statement. This blog is a place where I will be hating on harmless behavior all the time. Crack theories are a great example! I hate most of those and think the vast majority come from idiots trying to sound smart by over-complicating something that has a very simple explanation. They are also, largely, completely harmless, and people are welcome to come up with them, and I will not stop them. But I will be complaining about them on my own blog.

#answered #ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 #i actually read an article recently about how people who bottle up all frustrations are at higher risk for cardiovascular disease #so if you think about it this blog is heart-healthy self-care. it's like a brisk walk for the mind. you're welcome.

[ismelinor]

Who did it better? (1/2)

Read on AO3 | tagging @today-in-fic | word count: 2,035

Summary: When things aren’t adding up following the events of Dreamland, Mulder and Scully look for evidence of what happened. They find the CCTV footage of them leaving Kersh’s office… i.e. a contrived situation which allows Mulder and Scully to watch ‘Mulder’ slap Scully on the butt.

It started small, with two coins fused together and a general sense of wrongness. The term was vague and un-scientific, and she’d never hear the end of it if she said it to Mulder – but nevertheless, something was just off.

It was like…when you wake up from the deepest of deep sleeps (which was a distant dream to her – when was the last time she’d woken to anything other than an alarm, the phone ringing, or Mulder pounding at her door?) and it takes a few minutes to remember who and where you are. She’d felt like that walking away from the confrontation at Area 51: What was she doing there? Who was the man standing next to her? What day was it?

Only – the feeling hadn’t quite faded the way it usually did after a shower and a cup of coffee. No, everything still felt…out of focus.

And then there were the odd little knick-knacks that kept appearing. The fused dime and penny was weird enough, but then she found a handful of sunflower seeds in the pocket of her overcoat – and then a folded up paper doily, stamped Little A’le Inn, Rachel – and then, the kicker, a receipt for a pack of Morleys from a gas station in Nevada tucked into her drawer, when she knew she and Mulder hadn’t stopped on their way back. She called the bank to query the expense: they had no record of the payment. None of it made any sense.

~~~

It would have taken Scully a long time to admit out loud that a few sunflower seeds and errant receipts here and there were making her question reality. Fortunately, Mulder had no such qualms. He pulled her aside after lunch one day, and launched right into it: “Scully, I think we’ve experienced some sort of time jump.”

Scully just blinked at him.

“It’s not unheard of, you know. There’s several well-documented cases in the files: individuals who unaccountably knew what was going to happen, or claimed to have brought items from the past or the future.” Off the look she was giving him, he added, “Need I remind you that you’re the one with a thesis defending the possibility of time travel?”

He’d brought it up enough times that she had little hope of forgetting it. She sighed. “What makes you think we’ve travelled in time?”

“Ever since we got back from Area 51, I’ve been finding these…these relics of a week I know I didn’t live. My apartment’s all cleaned up – I’ve got a waterbed now – yesterday I found a pair of handcuffs on my pillow.” Scully raised an eyebrow. He leaned forward with a smirk. “Come on, Scully, I might forget a little spring cleaning, but you know I wouldn’t forget handcuffs.”

Scully tried to bite back her smile. “Those have all happened to you, Mulder, and frankly they sound like symptoms of early-onset dementia. You said we experienced a time jump. How am I involved?”

“Scully, I’ve seen you take those coins out of your drawer a hundred times today alone. Tell me you’re not finding things too.”

She wasn’t ready to concede yet, so she said, “These could all be accounted for by someone playing a strange prank on us. Why are you so ready to believe it’s time travel?”

“When I focus on these objects, I start to remember the other timeline. It’s fuzzy, but it’s there: I remember going inside Area 51, Scully. It was like I was living someone else’s life for a week. There were these bratty teenagers – I think I had a wife, even. It was awful. The problem is, I get this headache every time I try to remember.”

Scully sighed. “It’s the power of suggestion, Mulder. You already had this theory, and now your mind is filling in the gaps.”

Mulder grinned. “I have proof. Well, the lone gunmen have proof, but I’m going over this evening to check it out. They called me just now because their systems registered an anomaly: a blip in the CCTV recording of their office. When they looked over the footage from yesterday, they saw you and me talking to them for almost half an hour. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m fairly sure I was eating pizza on my couch all yesterday evening.”

Scully raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Come on, Mulder. It’s far more likely that they mixed up the footage from yesterday with another day.”

“They’re not just pretty faces, Scully: they’re tech experts. Don’t you trust their abilities?”

“Trust them? Mulder, they’re the most paranoid, delusional people I’ve ever met. Byers I might listen to, but Langley and Frohike think they’re living out James Bond, when-”

“When they’re a little more Revenge of the Nerds?” Mulder finished.

Scully grimaced. He wasn’t wrong.

“What, you don’t like that one?”

“Mulder, I’m a woman with a PhD in physics. If I wanted to see angry, sexually aggressive nerds, I’d open my yearbook.”

Mulder laughed delightedly. “Alright, Scully, just pretend you agree with me for a minute. Focus on the coin and see if you remember anything.”

She huffed but closed her eyes. That coin was strange: like two objects trying to occupy the same space – a perversion of the most basic laws of physics. And, casting her mind back, it was like…like two memories were trying to occupy the same space in her hippocampus. “I remember…I think I remember a gas station…and sitting with you in Kersh’s office…you were acting strange…and, oh, I remember going over to your place…huh, I remember your bedroom, and the handcuffs-” She opened her eyes wide to take in Mulder’s expression, already shifting from surprise to a smirk. She blushed; damn her complexion, never hid anything. “Not like that. I handcuffed you to the bed-” Mulder raised an eyebrow and she reddened even more. “Not like that. You weren’t…you.”

None of it made sense. Her memory must be confused: yes, just like Mulder, she must be creating false memories out of the objects they’d found. Her head was pounding all of a sudden.

Mulder hummed. “Well, if video tape captures this…alternate version of events, why don’t we check out the CCTV here? You said we were in Kersh’s office: maybe we can catch us leaving.”

Scully was too curious to argue, so she followed him up to the security office. It didn’t take much to convince the guard on duty to look out the tapes for them – which was slightly concerning, actually. When he came back to the desk, he was frowning. “There’s two tapes of the sixth floor corridor from Tuesday. I don’t know how they got mixed up.”

Mulder shrugged, taking them both. Scully thanked the guard and followed Mulder to the lift.

“We can’t watch these in the bullpen, or we’ll get questions. My place or yours?”

“Yours. But we’re waiting till after work, Mulder. We’re on thin enough ice as it is: I’m not risking suspension over a weird coin and a pair of handcuffs.”

Mulder sighed like the petulant child he was but took his seat anyway. Back to piles of manure.

~~~

Sitting by his side on Mulder’s leather couch, Scully could almost pretend that they were normal people. When he held out the two tapes for her to choose between, she could imagine that he was letting her pick a movie: that he’d put the tape in, grab them beers from the fridge, and they’d lounge around and laugh at the bad special effects.

But no, of course not. They were examining unethically obtained CCTV footage to investigate whether there had been a rip in the space-time continuum. A much more sensible use of her Friday afternoon. She pointed to Mulder’s right hand and he put the tape in. The time stamp read 13:00, Tuesday. They watched as grainy FBI agents rushed up and down the hall, a few familiar faces here and there. Mulder picked up the remote and put the tape on 2x, then 5x speed. The agents zoomed every which way, but there was no sign of Mulder or Scully. The only people to walk in or out of Kersh’s office were his secretary and Kersh himself. Nada.

Mulder switched the tapes. 13:00, Tuesday, again. The same camera angle. It even looked to be the same agents bustling down the corridor – Scully spotted Stonecypher at 13:14, just like in the first tape. Huh. Someone must have copied the tape: it was strange, but not outside the realm of possibility. But then-

Scully stared at the screen incredulously: Mulder was right. There they were, walking out of Kersh’s office at 13:35, when Scully knew for a fact that they’d never been to that meeting. How the hell was that possible? They sat forward on the sofa simultaneously. On the screen, they stopped just outside the office. It was hard to read their expressions in the grainy image, but it looked like Scully was giving him a dressing down. Mulder walked back into the office and Scully threw up her hands in frustration, clearly watching him through the doorway. After a few moments, Mulder walked out again and – and –

Scully sputtered out “Did you just-” at the same time as Mulder’s “Did I just-”. She wheeled on him, flushed with disbelief and anger. “You just slapped me on my ass!”

Mulder put his hands up like she was pointing a gun at him – and there was an idea – and coughed up a rather pathetic barrage of “No – I didn’t”s and “I wouldn’t”s. And then – he started to laugh.

She gaped at him in outrage, a perfect match for her doppelganger on the screen. He attempted to rein in his laugher.

“No, no, I’m sorry. It’s not funny – it’s just – I mean, come on, Scully, there’s no way you can think that’s really me.”

Scully narrowed her eyes at him, but – well, he had a point. Mulder could be a flirt – he was incorrigible, really – but he’d never crossed the line. Even when it really, really seemed like he would. Given the two tapes with the same time stamp, the strange objects popping up and the confused state of their memories – yes, she was willing to concede that the Mulder on the tape might not be (for lack of a better word) her Mulder.

Still, she wasn’t letting him off the hook that easily. “What are the chances that two different people are somehow able to impersonate you perfectly? And what are the chances that they both use this fantastical power to hit on me?”

Mulder raised an eyebrow in an expression she assumed was meant to convey: oh, we’re talking about Eddie now, are we?

She raised an eyebrow right back at him: serves you right for laughing, asshole.

“Well, Scully, once you’ve eliminated the impossible, and all that.”

“I think we have different definitions of impossible, Mulder. I’d call two separate men with uncanny shapeshifting abilities pretty impossible.”

Mulder grinned and she nudged his shoulder to let him know she’d forgiven him. For now.

“I don’t think we’re gonna get any more from the CCTV, and thinking about it is hurting my head,” said Mulder. “I’m going over to Byers’ to check out their tape. You wanna join?”

If anyone had told Scully six years ago that she’d be happy – excited, even – to spend her Friday evenings drinking cheap beer and debating the likelihood of time travel with four conspiracy nuts, she’d have laughed in their face. Today, though, she just ducked her head and smiled.

“If we can pick up food on the way. I’m never eating Langley’s cooking again.”

Mulder handed over her coat. As they left his apartment, he turned to her and asked, “For future reference, who did it better, Eddie or Tape Guy?”

Sculled rolled her eyes. He had nerve, she’d give him that. “I’d prefer a bottle of wine to a slap on the ass, if that’s what you’re asking.” Mulder smirked. “But, for future reference, you do it better than either of them.”

That wiped the smirk off his face.

[wolves-etc]

thoughts on The Last Of Us episode one, largely in the order I had them:

[thoughts on: 1.2 | 1.3 | 1.4 | 1.5 | 1.6 | 1.7 | 1.8 | 1.9]

(I have some spoilers from tumblr, a vague awareness of the older gays & younger gays situations, and a friend's recommendation that I'd really like this show. I didn't realise how evocative this would be in a mid-pandemic world. the show quickly set me right.)

— all kudos and respect to mr "I have an opportunity to infodump to a crowd about disturbing fungal diseases and I am going to make the most of it." loses points for warning people about hypothetical future dangers while actively smoking at them.

— the views we get of the crowd and the host during the second half of his speech are interesting - they're so still, all rapt attention, while he's talking about humans made puppets. it's unsettling.

— and the visuals during the theme music? gross. the guy who recommended this to me is squicked out by fungus. I may have used the words "wetly unfurling" while confronting him about this.

— I'm struck by the apparent ritual of joel setting his alarm, sleeping through it or ignoring it, and having to be alerted by his daughter anyway. he's a mess. (<3)

— there's something very real and unsanitised about their home environment. sarah's presumably not the worst cook in the house, but still they're eating eggshell. there's takeaway in the fridge that tommy sniffs before having any (though I wish he didn't decide against it then put it back.)

— and joel's shirt is on inside-out. bless him.

— sarah and joel passive-aggressively siccing the neighbours on each other is bitchy and great

— the first glimpse of the unrest of the pandemic being someone visibly panicking, closing the shop, herding sarah out, telling her to go straight home? I'm trying not to do too much real-life comparing. but that's ouch.

— we have a dog!! a border collie!! mercy I love you I am giving you up for dead given the genre we're in but I very much hope to be proven wrong <3

— "three nails plus one cross equals four-given." please, please tell me people don't speak like that. lie if you must

— the mental shift from "that blurry old lady in the background needs medical attention" to "oh. oh this is a horror show, the characters just don't know that yet, oh no" was a fun one

— "and you were never gonna [get the watch fixed] for yourself" OH BOY

— it's functional depression vibes in joel and it's intense. he won't get the watch fixed for himself, and he probably wouldn't celebrate his birthday for himself either - I'd buy that the pancakes could have been more for sarah than him, but then she insists on cake, and he doesn't suggest anything he'd enjoy better. still, he seems willing to make an effort because she wants to, and that's nice.

— that moment, sitting down to watch a movie together, sarah falling asleep against him? joel's a mess, but he has a good relationship with his daughter, and that's refreshing to see. there's real love there.

— mercy is a very good dog and sarah COULD DO WITH MORE ANXIETY SLASH SURVIVAL INSTINCT, FRANKLY,

— and we get the first glimpse of joel being brutal and unhesitating when it's called for. the sense that he's already made a shift in thinking that sarah's slower to - she's scared, crying, not yet really believing that it was necessary.

— sarah in the back of the car being smart enough to put together - given what she knows - that any one of them could be infected. it's awful.

— "[they've] got a kid, joel." "so have we. keep driving." fuck

— (how must that feel for sarah? if she's the thing to be protected, it must be her fault.)

— okay the infected's too-quick movements and bird-like head tilts? very "inhuman software on human hardware." it's cool.

— this scene here, though. there's a lot here. they're saved, in the nick of time, by a soldier. the soldier receives orders that he has to double-check. joel calls him sir, says please don't, has to know what's coming. it's unfair and it's horrible and there's nothing he can do.

— and I had a lot of thoughts about that. about how the US military - quite aside from the huge wrongs it does to other countries - promises people to chance to do some good, and to be a part of a family, and betrays them on both counts. leaves its soldiers with trauma and no way to manage it. leaves them, perhaps, with chronic depression, in a job I don't even want to speculate about because neither the military nor construction work are kind to the body. it's betrayal on top of betrayal as standard. and it's cruel, very cruel, that the military betrays joel again here. (edit for reasons and for at least one "article" possibly lying to me)

— and it's a fucking needless way for sarah to die. fuck.

— okay. okay.

— we get this little reminder that the birds, the trees, the sunlight, they all keep going. no matter what goes on with humans. and I, for one, find that comforting.

— and that comfort is VERY NEEDED because holy shit it's twenty years later and joel barely even hesitates to throw a bound child's body onto the fire. (practical and brutal, when it's needed. I don't even want to wonder whether he's done it before.)

— he's still wearing his broken watch and he is very much not okay.

— tess is all steel. I'm a little scared of her as a person and I love her as a character. what the fuck are they both up to that they can handle criminal dealings like this.

— "I promised him you wouldn't hurt him, but I would very much like for you to hurt him." CLEAR AND TO THE POINT.

— no but that's a lot of fun though. clear communication, what seems like no real lies when she's negotiating with her captor, just a forthright attitude that's so easy to believe and a comfortable willingness to mislead him.

— "you don't have a fucking ear on your fucking head" would be a fun way to accuse someone of not listening

— "y'all talk it through, but please remember that I'm bleeding out." I LIKE MARLENE

— and here we see joel's fight response to trauma, which will, I hope, serve him well. that flashback was evil though.

— what the FUCK is the expression on ellie's face. is that awe. is that delight. miss, you're very fucked up, do you know that

things I expected: ellie being a murder child; joel being a traumatised badass with a soft spot for her. did NOT expect ellie to be THAT much of a murder child, or joel's soft spot to be that well-armoured. this is gonna be interesting to see.

and I didn't expect tess, who's interesting, and scary in her own right, and rugged in a way women aren't generally allowed to be in the zombie genre. this was a really pleasant surprise.

#the last of us hbo #the last of us spoilers #tlou spoilers #angst tag #orig #at the time of polishing I have actually seen and loved the next episode too #remains to be seen whether I'm gonna tidy up my thoughts for each one but I'll try #just don't look too deeply into the tangent about the military and we'll all be fine <3

[myimaginarywonderland]

I am genuinely in shock at how awful the FIA is regarding safety and I am incredibly scared of what future steps might be taken to ensure that racing is more interesting.

For anyone that wasn't following, this Formula E race we had a debut in Brazil. Now, the new Gen that started this season has been quiet concerning when it comes to safety. There was an accident which left one driver (Robin) with a bad had injury which meant he had to sit for 4 races. This race, the debut in Brazil, we saw another incident where a driver has injured his hand (we do not know the extent of his injuries as he is currently being checked.) There were also multiple safety cars this race, many parts of debrief on the track etc. Anyone that follows FE will still remember shocking picture of a car being lifted off track while some drivers where practically driving under it and many under safety risks.

Anyone that follows F1 will be able to paint a similar picture, with instances like Spa where we saw Lando crash eventhough multiple drivers called for it to be a red flag. And, to the surprise of no one also the incident with Pierre and the crane on a fucking wet track.

With Stefano now questioning free practices and wanting to erase them, I am absolutely terrified of how drivers safety is becoming less and less prominent. Especially with F1 we see the push towards making motorsport as big of a spectale as possible to probably gain fans?

I have already seen people mentioning that the Vegas GP is the perfect example for this and I absolutely agree.

But even those overpriced tickets aren't the biggest of our worries.

When there are multiple categories where we have seen the lack of safety that are all being controlled by the FIA (I apologise for the lack of instances in other series but I can speak most prominently about FE/F1 as they are the ones I follow mostly) it is a true wake up call.

There are different race directors which underline the problem of the organisation across the multiple categories.

People love to glance over about decision but with such big instances I can not even understand why we are attempting to do that.

With the way safety of the drivers is considered less and less of a priority and even brushed off, we face a terrifying prospect that I don't think many of you even understand.

F1 has come such a long way to have safety measures, learning from horrendous accidents and improving the safety but it seems like they have complelty not learned from anything that has happened.

I feel like some of you don't understand what the possibility of these lack luster standards have as a result.

There is now a high possibility that we will have a race where we will have an accident that is caused by these vague enforcing of safety standards.

Motorsport isn't safe. There were accidents that had safety measures as a result but they will not be able to protect drivers all the time because the nature of motorsport will never be able to be fully safe. There are adjustments to the car which are direct lessons from fatalities but they can only protect drivers to a certain degree.

And when we can't even be sure that the race direction, the very people running this sport, are ensuring the drivers safety what good will any measures taken do?

When we can't be sure that races will be called off if the conditions are to dangerous, when we can't be sure that they could get to a driver (seeing as they were apparently unable to determine Lance position) in an accident, how are we supposed to have trust in the devices?

It doesn't matter how good the halo is when the FIA isn't abel to take steps to avoid ever having situations where we might have to thank it?

I know we made jokes about Lance car not being able to be apparently found on track but could you imagine if that happened when he would have been in an accident as horrible as Romain had? Yeah, I don't even want to think about it but the truth was that would probably have been a fatality then, another driver lost to this sport.

The fact is the very organisation that is supposed to ensure the drivers safety and well being is failing at doing their job and there's the horrifying prospect having over us of how far that failure could go.

#f1 #fe #formula e #sorry for ranting guys but after yesterday and those news today I just can't #there need to be fundamental changes made across motorsport categories and they start with the FIA #not to mention the absolute silencing of the drivers which would've been unthinkable back in the days

[theparadoxofman]

10.26.23

Atsushi,

It’s been a week. The words come no easier than they did on the day, but I would like to do my best now.

Before anything else, you were my best friend (and always will be). I can still vaguely recall the first time we ever spoke – we were 16 or 17 years old, and our only interaction for a good while was you asking me for 50¥. I was a bit wary of you after that, but I had no idea what the future held for us once we formed the band the next year.

You were an awful drummer, you know. 笑 We were all pretty awful at playing our chosen instruments back then. We learned together; we were all frustrated with our skills, but we persevered and stayed determined together; we dealt with familial hardships together; plain and simple, we grew up and faced the world together through the shared fire that burned in all of us. We were going to make ourselves known whether the world liked it or not.

By 1985, you knew what you wanted to do, and you wouldn’t take no for an answer. We parted ways with Araki that November and everything else seemed to just fall into place in quick succession. All you needed was Himuro-san telling you once that you had a good face for singing… you were hellbent on doing so from then on out. I had already auditioned someone else, I had never heard you sing, I was annoyed. Being that we were all finally living in Tokyo, we held a meeting about it.

We all know who won in the end. You plead your case, your voice turned out to suit our direction well, and it didn’t take long before we’d convinced Toll to join too (“we” being Yuta – thanks, Yuta). The rest is history.

We made history together, the five of us.

There are far too many memories and far too much history between you and I alone to even graze the surface of. 40 years is a long time, Acchan.

Without you here, none of it will ever feel the same again. I know that much is certain. There is an inescapably vast, heart-shattering void of silence where your voice used to ring out loud, demanding to be heard, to be understood. I don’t know what I am supposed to do now. How am I to be understood now? Our connection went beyond what we could convey to each other in words, it transcended into our writing processes and the music itself. There will never be another you.

I really did want to play guitar by your side forever. We had so many plans, I will never stop thinking about where they would have taken us.

I promise to be strong for you because I know you’d want that, and I hope you can forgive the tears I’ve shed. The rain won’t stop falling any time soon; I loved you so dearly in every season of our lives. I suppose now I have to navigate this world without you, and I am afraid of that, Acchan. Please watch over all of us. I hope above all that you’re catching up with your mother and all of our friends that preceded you.

I will miss you until I see you again at the end. Goodnight, Mr. Darkness. The stars will forever shine a little brighter.

-Mr. Moonlight

#[imai.txt]

[lemonhemlock]

According to leaks Hugh and Ulf will apparently be King's Landing residents in the show which is why some think one of them or even both will be Baelon's bastard(s) (there were also some claims on Reddit about Hugh being Baelon's months ago). The problem is, however, that both their actors are pretty old: Hugh's actor is 43 years old and Ulf's is around 50 if I'm not mistaken which means their characters can't realistically be much younger and are around Daemon's and even Viserys's age and therefore, they must have been born when Alyssa was still alive or very shortly afterwards, and this is pretty much why most team black fans are mad about this.

To some extent I do agree with them that it would be pretty awful if they confirm Baelon was fooling around while Alyssa was still alive considering their relationship was pretty loving (well, as much as a Targ sibling marriage can be) and I believe there is nothing in F&B that would make us think otherwise, however, most of them take it further and expect that he surely must have been celibate after his wife had died up until his death…that's pretty much unrealistic and overall, I don't see what's the issue of him having sex with some whores or other women after that point? One can honor his wife's memory and still have a relationship based on sex with someone else in the future. That doesn't mean he didn't love his wife or has ever stopped loving her…

Imho the fandom as a whole, if the past shipping wars have taught us anything, does have this belief that someone can and must only have one true love in their whole life and take issue if a character is shown to have had any other relationship or feelings for someone else. They really feel like anything else will ruin that one true relationship and it's very weird to see… And by the way we don't even have a definitive confirmation on Hugh and Ulf's parentage - for all we know they could very well be the descendants of other Dragonseeds.

well, i mean hugh and ulf must come from somewhere* and, while grrm keeps it pretty vague as he couldn't have been bothered with exact parentages, baelon is a very good candidate for a TV adaptation. 1. he has a direct link to characters we all know and secret/unknown relatives is a theme that can add a lot of drama. 2. the general public don't know OR CARE about alyssa, she has only ever been mentioned once in passing and not even by name. on-screen adaptations are a simplified version of the text, no one is going to care about these implications

neither does TB care about either alyssa or baelon** lbr they just want smth to be mad about. as characters they're beyond irrelevant to the story hotd is telling.

tv ages are also a thing in and of themselves. daemon is supposed to be around 50-ish as well. add the fact that a stressful life can age someone up a lot. like i very much doubt his bastard brothers were preoccupied with their skin care routine, so they could very well look older than daemon

*in-text, apart from being direct sons of a specific male targaryen, they could simply be descendants of some earlier targaryen princeling or several, whose bastard children intermarried to various degrees. like, aegon the uncrowned, for example, was said to have been popular with the ladies, so he could have fathered some bastards, who later had children of their own and maybe the first or second cousins produced their own set and so on. maybe aerion targaryen had 23 children out of wedlock and their descendants intermingled down the line for the dragonriding gene to pop up.

just because you can't pinpoint to one specific man and claim direct paternity doesn't mean there isn't a valid explanation as to how the valyrian dragon genes came to be present in a segment of dragonstone's population. that being said, for a tv show, the audience understands much better and quicker if ulf and hugh are somehow less distantly related + it's more dramatic.

also all targaryen men could have visited dragonstone at some point and used the services of a brothel. having bastard children doesn't have to be geographically limited to KL.

**there are almost no fics of them!!

#ask #anon #dragonseeds #baelyssa

[juuggg]

Been playing a lot of indie games the last few months and I want to keep a little tally of them so i don’t forget

ASTROMAN : Cute little 32bit platformer made for a gamejam, it gave me the same feeling as a mobile game called green the planet and I mean it in a good way. The gameplay isn’t groundbreaking, but it’s relaxing to jump around collecting crystals. If they made this longer it would pop hard.

Carbon Steel : from Mike Klubnika. You join an experiment that pays a lot for weird and probably unethical research. Does a great job at building tension and making you 2nd doubt whether you’re “really” aware of reality. The endings were both a bit weak but still a very fun game worth playing, around 30min.

Cold Fr*nt : I'm censoring the name so it doesn’t appear in search man this was ASS. Good premise for 3 whole minutes before this shit turns uwu cringe ass moe moe stebaniel universal on everyone as they recite a “your feelings matter” message stolen straight from a twitter poisonned 16yo’s notes app. Was the dev afraid of being called out on tiktok for portraying unhealthy relationships or something? Anyway, if MY childhood friend pushed me down stairs, breaking my leg, I would tell them to kill themselves.

Coward Town : weird one, cool graphics but the audio hurted. Fun to wiggle around with a vague story in the background. tonic!

Driftwood : Loved this one, short visual with shrooms involved. Touches on classical themes of existentialism and coming of age. Don’t wanna spoil it too much, it definitely can get cheesy but it’s worth a play through (20 to 30mins). Made me smile from how honest it was at times, like the dev was just writing down a conversation they had in the past.

Evaluation : I didn’t remember downloading this one and looking at the steam page I'm surprised I even did. But it was a nice surprise, it's got a lot of charm especially knowing it’s the dev’s first game. It’s absolutely worth doing that 2nd play through otherwise it feels empty, but even with the tonal shift between the two routes it felt like a complete experience. Would love to see a remake of this in the future.

Infineural : Also from Mike Klubnika, the fridge horror didn’t really get to me but for 5mins it’s worth a download. Carbon steel was better.

Rental : Very nice, the 2nd and 1st areas could have been linked better. They managed to create an otherworldly but whimsical atmosphere very quickly. Cool audio and visual tricks.

WaterWombWorld : From Yames, I had it in my folders for a long time but didn’t remember playing it, so I did now. It’s thickly coated in religious significance from start to finish. If the dev came out and said he was working through his faith at the time of development I wouldn’t be surprised. It’s made me want to go back and replay Yames’ other titles.

Still fishing : feesh bloop bloop 🐟

Critters For Sale : Bought it for the graphics mostly lol. I had no clue what to expect going into it but it definitely took me by surprise on more than one occasion. It’s like a point and click visual novel adaptation of finding a conspiracy theorist’s website, going through every tab in awe, and barely being able to explain anything after. Worth a play.

I Live Under Your House + It Lives Under The House DLC : Feels like this one exploded a bit in popularity for good reason. Unique take on a spooky monster story where YOU, the player, get to be the weird guy. Loved the visuals. Absolutely do not want to spoil it but I’ll say the DLC is just as good as the main game and even better at points.

Megs’ monsters (Demo) : When it gets released in 5years and explodes it’s going to be compared to every single massively popular RPG à-la deltarune and earthbound and there’s going to be so much porn of the big monsters.

Magnus Positive Phototaxis : A short 1hr point and click puzzle game. Wish i could say it was nice but nothing really stood out other than the 3d object cutscenes that were never mentioned again. Did not expect it to take a religious U-turn but it seems to be part of a larger series of games so maybe I'm missing something. Disjointed. Mid at best.

Out Of Hands (Demo) : Didn’t care for the story when it turned out to be about a lost high-school love etc. You can Obliterate the balancing by using the double dmg at low hp perk. It feels like it’s missing a something and got repetitive near the end, but this is a demo so whatever! Using hands and clay for graphics is super cute, kept me playing just to see what random things they used next.

rats in a cage (Demo) : Loved this one. You’re trying to become a jobcell and one of the only companies that responded wants you to do a survey on a funny program because they really don’t have time to interview everyone. Said program is a rat kin puzzle game with an AI that fucking hates you. It’s absolutely going to be compared to baba is you and portal that’s not even a question, I will say the humour felt more stanley-parable-esque than portal to me. Puzzles were very easy but it might just be baba PTSD making me think every level is going to take 3hrs.

Return. : Short platforming game with cute graphics. This was odd, everything about it feels like it’s part of an ARG or would have a hidden secret fucked up horror ending but there doesn’t seen to be anything like that. The controls feel crisp and the way they did jumps was pretty unique, definitely would like to see more.

Rusty Blade : it’s alright, enjoyed the graphics but navigation itself gave me a headache.

Who’s Lila? : PLAY IT!!!!!! PLAY IT RIGHT NOW PLAY IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAVEN’T FINISHED YET

skolios : playing right now, good atmosphere and nostalgic of older rpghorro games but I would be lying if i said i didn’t check the walkthrough.

Northern Journey : BUG SWATTING SIMULATOR 3000 I’d recommend this to everyone if the difficulty balancing wasn’t so messy. After spending 2hrs on the bandit fight i kinda gave up. Fun movement, fun aesthetic, fun characters, kinda mean as fuck at times but it’s funny. I’ll get drunk and spend 20hrs on beating it at some point i swear.

Mundaun : Another one with difficulty balancing problems, skill issue i know i know. Graphics are A+, setting is A+, story is intriguing, But the sniping haystacks made me mald. I WANT to love it just give me 1month i’ll git gud and then can get a solid opinion on it.

Mirage of Dragon : thought I’d hate it but it’s really just a puzzle exploration game, killed 4 dragoos so far but being reset to the beginning and needing to watch the unskippable cutscene everytime is annoying. Great aesthetic and visuals, the dev put a lot of heart into the side material, mostly the guide, cute to see ♥

ANATOMY : hurts my eyes so bad

#kept out the obvious ones or ones i didn't play enough of etc #juggy games

[ps1demodisk]

I'm going to bed now but in case any more asks come through this is like... my general thoughts after my mind cleared from how funny the ask was. This is everything I would've responded had I not been having a giggle fit, essentially. There's also a more general statement that's tangentially related at the very end.

You are allowed to think I'm a bad person and still think other people who I thought were bad are also bad. You do not have to drastically change your opinions on everyone you once spoke mad shit about just because I agreed with you. In the same vein, I can be shitty and not be the worst person to ever exist who only talks to others in an attempt manipulate them. I am actually capable of human emotion and I carry the ability to care for others, crazy I know. That's part of why the dying alone comment had no effect, because quite frankly I know I'm not going to die alone, especially not because of some internet drama I had as a 20 year old where people lost the ability to use critical thinking skills. I know what I am, and I know how I think, even if I can't fully grasp my emotions and thought processes. I saw everything, it was funny the way everyone jumped to Satan level, but it also made me think.

"You only reached out because you knew your control was slipping" did you ever stop to consider I might've just actually felt bad? No, you didn't, because from the very start I stopped being viewed as a person. It was obvious in the way people spoke, you spoke about me as if I were just an object, and at that point of course you wouldn't consider the fact I felt normal people feelings, I was almost fictional. You made me out to be cartoonishly evil, and I'm sorry I can't live up to the image you built up in your heads but unfortunately I'm just a 20 year old man who's emotionally immature and unstable, I just don't think before I speak, consequences are a future thing and I don't think about the future because the future scares me. There was never anything more to it. I spoke shit cause other people spoke shit, and I never stopped to think about how any of it would look out of context. I am not a mastermind evil manipulator, that's giving me too much credit.

I still don't think anyone there is inherently an awful person for anything they said (maybe 2 people who are bad people for actions tho), I can understand it when I take a step back and look at it all from an outside perspective. That doesn't make any of what you said better, especially not the genuine wishes I'd die, or the more vague wishes I died before I met you, but it doesn't change the fact things I said were bad either. Even if they were only bad out of context, or they were "normal" in context but still hurtful. Context matters but the words out of context also matters, even if it's not as much. Shit does hurt, even if it feels justified, even if you think you're justified in saying it. You all suck, and I also suck. Maybe I suck more than some of you, maybe I suck less than others. I don't actually care to know anymore.

I still do not think I'm a bad person, I still do not think you are justified in any of what you are doing, saying, or have done or said thus far, but I also don't think you're bad people either. I am just going to file everything I read under "hurt people hurt people" and stop trying to find any reason or justification beyond that.

As I was finishing this up I remembered the person who interacts with minors on nsfw, I do truly believe that is incredibly weird to do and you need to stop trying to deflect from it with "but Kalista is weird he said his favourite tf2 merc was whichever could bring him my head first!" which you for some reason are deciding to call a murder threat. What I said was weird, yes, but that doesn't mean interacting with minors on your public nsfw account is normal and ok to do, please think critically about that. Also do you truly genuinely believe I am going to get a plane from the united kingdom and come to your house and kill you, do you really genuinely believe that is something I want to do? Be honest. Be real with me. Do you really think I could kill you? If you do that's almost flattering.

Are we done? Cool. I don't actually care if we are, I am.

- -

I also think in general the dehumanisation of people you deem bad is not a good thing, because it means you stop thinking about the fact they're just like you and at any point if you made or make one wrong decision you could have ended up like them. It's good to recognise people you deem bad as people because it reminds you to question your thought processes, it means you'll notice if you start having a worrying thought pattern or attitude and you won't let it spiral. People don't turn shit in a day, it's often years of conditioning and ignoring/reinforcing shitty beliefs that leads them there. Seeing their inherent humanity doesn't mean justifying or agreeing with what they do, it means recognising anyone is capable of it and that includes you, and you need to watch yourself to keep yourself on a good path. Good people aren't naturally good, it's a choice.

#untagged