#anxiety ramblings

[antidotesprout]

I find it incomprehensible that people say they think I'm cool an' shit when I'm a little goblin living under a boulder

#i am slowly getting over lurk mentality #someday ill be cool maybe #i truly have no idea what im doing #maybe i shoukd reblog more of the writings that have inspired me #but i dont want to overwhelm people that follow me for art with not my stuff?? #but also its my blog abd i can do what i want #anxiety ramblings #sprout rant

[lazylittledragon]

lately i've been drinking orange juice and eating fruit and going outside in the sun and coincidentally 10-20% of my depression has vanished. must be witchcraft

#ramble #thank you to everyone who eased my smoothie anxiety #idk how i didn't realise it was bs sooner it makes NO sense #yes doing all the Health Things like getting nutrients and drinking water doesn't fix the way my adhd brain is wired #it does help though

[manufacturedrainbows]

My fellow fanfic authors, I'm begging on my hands and knees – and Ima hold your hand as I say this – you gotta respond to the readers that leave comments on your work.

I know social anxiety is the worst (trust, my autistic ass understands) but I promise you, nothing deters a reader from commenting more than seeing a comment section with no replies as you continue to post fanfics. Even if it's as simple as "thanks for reading!" or just some cute emojis, it'll show that you're actually engaging with your audience!

We work so hard on our writing, and those of us that post them online want it to be seen, right? Indulging in our little fandoms is how we build connections with people that feel the same way.

It might be hard or even scary, but I find the more you socialize with others (especially in a more controlled environment like a comment section), the easier it gets! 💕

#so go out there and respond to them comments!! you got this!! 🫶💖✨️ #fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 #writing #writing community #fandom #comments #fanfic readers #fanfic authors #social anxiety #autism #neurodivergent #rambles #my writing

[foldingfittedsheets]

You know when you’re in a bad situation and you make up little scenarios for how you’ll deal with the absolute most terrible next thing that could happen?

But then that thing never happens and all the imaginary scenarios with plans C-Z never need to be implemented?

I had one (1) time in my life that it actually played out that I needed the exact response to a scenario I had anticipated.

At the time I was living with my ex down in Arizona with, and I don’t capitalize this lightly, The Worst Roommates I’ve Ever Had. They were truly the absolute worst. My ex was friends with the boyfriend, so he and his girlfriend offered to move in with us when I moved down.

They picked the house, which was $1000 out of our budget, subsidized by the girlfriends mom. They had an extremely obese dog and a cat. Because they were moving in before us they filled the house entirely with all their stuff and felt entitled to kick us out of any area because of that.

We were watching a movie? Too bad, that was their tv and couch. When we argued we hadn’t been given the option to have a couch, tv, dishes, or literally anything except a bed they basically just shrugged. Things were in general very terrible and the communication was worse, but the straw that broke us was when they brought home a new puppy with absolutely no warning.

This lead to a forty five minute full on screaming match and both couples retreating to their rooms, fuming. My mind was spinning very quickly though, because we had loudly declared we’d be moving out and this couple had shown that they viewed the house as theirs. I told my ex my worry but she shrugged it off as irrational.

After an hour of cooldown the boyfriend came into the hallway and I stepped out to meet him.

“Since you guys are moving out we don’t want you using our dishes or pans anymore.” That was my exact fear.

There wasn’t space to store additional dishes of our own, or the pans that I had in storage. So we’d have had a month of paper plates and no ability to cook or utensils to eat with.

But I smiled and said, “I thought you might say that. If that’s the case, then I don’t believe we’ll be paying the water or electricity bills which are entirely in your name and don’t affect us.” Them camping out on all the ownership and leaving us out suddenly had a consequence.

He looked stunned and after a moment just said, “Well played.” He turned and walked back down the hall. I heard him repeat it to his girlfriend through the door as it closed, “That was really well played.”

I retreated to our room, shaking and stressed but proud that I’d scored a point. Our move went off alright and we settled into what would go down as the sketchiest place I’ve ever lived, but at least I didn’t have to worry about when I was allowed to watch TV.

#ramblies #ffs foibles #story #funny #anxiety brain came in useful just that once #writing

[dayzsaclark]

I’m excited for the new Inside Out sequel, but I hope they don’t accidentally do this for Anxiety.

#inside out #inside out 2 #inside out anxiety #real life mental disorders aren’t ““cute”” #too many shows and movies do this sh@t #Anxiety’s design is adorable though that’s why I’m rambling

[queermentaldisaster]

Ghost cuddling with Soap when his anxiety gets really bad, so bad that he's genuinely crying and dead silent. He knows Soap is horribly overstimulated, and Ghost's room has always and will always be sensory safe for both of them.

So they cuddle on those rare nights, when Soap's hit his limit and just needs to cry in someone's arms, because Ghost's the only one who understands.

#soap with anxiety my beloved #obviously its not crippling #he wouldn't be in the military if it was #but there are days where it culminates #and ghost is there for him #every time #honestly im projecting and yearning for someone who's not my parents or siblings to come cuddle me and tell me that it'll all be okay #so i give soap that instead :3 #call of duty #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #call of duty mw2 #ghoap #ghostsoap #elo rambles

[robiinurheart33]

Soap knows Ghost is beautiful. He doesn’t need to see his real face to know. It’s in the way he carries himself, his thick British accent, the arrogant quirk of his eyebrow that shifted under his mask. He never had any urge to take a peek at his face under that mask, always respected his boundaries, always stayed fairly within line.

But during the mission in Las Almas, where Ghost had so unwaveringly pulled off his mask, Johnny felt like his whole world had been shaken. Maybe it was because Ghost was his whole world Soap had been obsessed ever since. The crooked curve of his nose, his clipped and messy dirty blonde hair, the slight curve of his Cupid’s bow on his upper lip, the jagged scar that had been carved into pale, almost sickly skin. It was all so utterly Simon. Soap felt unhealthily obsessed. Genuinely, he thought that he could not be any more head over heels, and he goes and does this.

It was stupid how eager Soap was to draw his face. It was like he was a puppet on a string, pulled by his untethered compulsiveness. He had to be cautious. He yearned rip off the mask Ghost has just put on again to kiss him stupid in front of everyone. 141, maybe. But not the Los Vaqueros. He does have that sliver of sanity to hold himself back. But god, if that doesn’t just open up a door of opportunities for him behind closed doors. The extra areas of skin that were now not so unreachable was like dangling a candy in front of a child and expecting them to not take it.

Simon is beautiful. Simon is so pretty. Simon is stunning. Pure Bonnie.

Soap wills himself to shut the fuck up and focus on the mission. He wants to see Simon again. Preferably, in a setting with more light. Soap feels like he’s rediscovering ghost all over again, he wants to see his smile, his annoyed expression, his huffs and grunts, everything on his face. Good lord, does he have dimples? Soap thinks he might just die.

The act of seeing ghost’s skin lights something in soap. He doesn’t know what it is, but he feels the impatience and desperation to find out what it is. He grapples and tries to identify it, but like his callsign, it slips away and he’s left with a frustratingly empty feeling he knows only ghost can fill. I’ll find out. I swear, I’ll find it out.

Soap has never been a patient man.

(CLICKS FOR PALESTINE)

#ok so this is the last of the writing I’ve saved up #it may take more time to churn up more pieces #the stress and anxiety is #getting to me #I’m struggling guys I rlly am HAHHA #just when things were about to get better #stay safe guys love the attention I’ve been receiving about the other pieces #y’all are amazing 💞💞 #robs ramblings #call of duty #john soap mactavish #ghoap #simon ghost riley #ghostsoap

[13threbagel]

Now that i'm living in a english speaking country, I realized the hardest part to speak a second language is the phrases.

Grammars you can make do so long people know what you're saying and in writing there are programs to help you. And singular words, i know what they mean but compiling them into phrases?? That's like.. a whole different beast on its own its like learning another language on top of that one

Here's an example im still embarassed about :

I was trying to say how networking works by talking to more people and have your works spread by word of mouth.

But see, i didn't remember that phrase in english. I remember them, in my first language. And the literal translation of it would be 'mouth to mouth'. Which. Ya know. Means more kissing in english than spreading information via speaking to other people

It's a small things but you'll notice it more and more. And this is only phrases. We're not including expressions, what counts as a joke or an insult or a compliment. The thing im thinking about is probably not phrases either idk what it is but it sure is frustrating

#languages #kc rambles #dont mind me im flopping on the floor realizing this is why i been getting worse at talking in english in the past years #than when i was back in my country #i know so many way i messed up n it gives me anxiety in talking but also gghhhhh its frustrating

[chronicowboy]

#sami rambles #CAN'T EVEN TOUCH THE REST OF THAT SCENE RN I FEEL LIKE A LIVEWIRE #im literally shaking #oh my god im so glad i ate BEFORS i saw this or id be throwing up rn #911 spoilers #bucktommy #buck x tommy #the little smile when he says it. half flirting. half anxiety. #kill me kill meeeee

[lazylittledragon]

do any other artists feel like. yeah you're a 'good artist' because you draw things that look nice, but like. TECHNICALLY? you're really not great

i really hate that i can recognise that yes, my art is good, but is it VARIED? is it dynamic?? is my anatomy good? is it full of texture and colour theory? do i know how to do This? can i do That? no, not really. and that's quite painful actually

#ramble #yes this is the artist's perspective bs and yes this is anxiety because it's 1am #and yes i'm forever learning and growing but also #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. #drawing my little guys is fun but i am not good enough for the industry right now and that fucking sucks #i really feel like if i walked into a studio with my portfolio right now they would laugh at me #one of those days where i wish i'd done a more useful degree y'know #i'm going back through the phase where i don't know what i'm going to be anymore and it's scary #some days i really want to give it up and never draw again and do something worthwhile because i Know my life would be easier #and i hate that something i love so much makes me feel so hopeless #signs that i should go to bed ^^^^ #i will resume my pity party tomorrow

[haunted-xander]

Do you think Saix' emotional co-dependence started as a Nobody or did it start as human Isa and just grew to an unhealthy degree?

#i like to think it started as a human partially bc that would make the most sense to me #(as xemnas/org xiii likes to use its members established weaknesses against them and saix/isas attatchment to axel/lea would be very easy to #manipulate him) #but also it furthers the parallels between saix' jealousy and rikus arc in kh1 #which i think is fun #obviously it wouldnt have been nearly as big a problem back then as it ended up being later on #partially bc isa wouldnt have been manipulated and gaslit so much but also #bc he wouldnt really have any fuel for it like saix got #no super-important super-secret mission they have to do #no forced emotional distance #and the idea of being 'replaced' would have been much more fueled purely by anxiety than any actual possibility of happening #oh and he also would have at least one other friend (subject x) #even if its one he wouldnt be able to talk to all the time #anyway im rambling. saix/isa got fucked up bad and i hope he gets loads of therapy bc god does he need it #isa #saix #lea #axel #leaisa #akusai #it feels kinda wrong to tag their noboy names when its them as a kids #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts birth by sleep #kh #kh bbs #art #my art #xanders art #digital art #fan art

[callsign-songbird]

OK, needed a fluffy drabble to follow up that sin. More below the cut!

Biblically accurate König headcannons

Tw: Social anxiety (I tried)

OK, ok, hear me out.

Konig is a big, scary colonel, right? With social anxiety? Omg this man.

This lumbering behemoth wall of muscle and intimidation is the type to reherse and plan what he's going to say for at least a minute or two straight before addressing his squad.

He thinks about the tone he should use, his volume, where to put inflections, how his face should move even beneath his mask, what he'll do with his hands when. And when it comes time to finally speak, he delivers his words with his heart nervously pounding in his chest, which causes his words to come out sharper and more agressive than he intends.

Everyone thinks that he's super intimidating, cold, and angry, but he's really just nervous around crowds and speaking in front of them.

Don't get me wrong, he would be more comfortable in front of his squad compared to a group of soldiers he doesn't know. But that's not saying much.

And it doesn't mean that he's "Shy" or fumbles and trips over his words nervously (even if it's a cute thought)

No, he probably actually appears quite calm, confident, and composed. Even when he's panicking internally.

Strategy and combat are easy to Konig, sometimes easier than breathing. But not standing out in a crowd? With his height? Now, that makes his palms sweat just a bit.

It's useful a lot of the time, sure. But it has its disadvantages. König probably prefers to remain in his office, in the gym, or on one of the training courses; where he doesn't have to think about what he's saying and doing, or how he's saying and doing it. He can focus his mind on something else.

OK, I know this is what you suckers want

But if you were König's person? I have a feeling he would cling very subtly to you. A new squad transfers to your base? König hardly ever leaves your side.

A lot of the time, he would make sure to be touching you in some way, too. You're probably shorter than him, so it wouldn't be irregular for him to rest a hand on your shoulder or against your arm. No one would notice if he stood a little too close and your boots were touching or your shoulder brushed against him.

It wouldn't be hard to read his tells once you pick up on them either.

Whenever he's rehersing how he'll say something in his mind, even if he's in the middle of a conversation outwardly, his eyes become focused on one or two spots while having this unfocused look in them, as if he's only half present.

Whenever he's starting to feel overwhelmed or drained in a crowd (whether he will admit to or realize it or not), he'll usually end up with one hand in his pocket, the other reaching for you or drumming on his thigh.

And as soon as it's just the two of you? Well, you best believe all he wants is to recharge. He likes holding you in his arms with your back against his chest. He loves everything about it.

He loves feeling the rise and fall of your chest, hearing your breathing, hearing your voice. He loves looking down at you and watching as you occupy yourself or relax and melt into him. He could hold you forever, you're his personal portable charger. Just the juice he needs after a stressful day. (Or any day, for that matter.)

Or, maybe you aren't the touchy type and don't really like being held? That's ok, he gets it. Really. He's more than content to simply occupy the same room as you. Your voice seems to make all of his worries go away, watching your lips move is utterly entrancing, and he can't help but get lost in your eyes; whether they're looking at him or something doesn't matter.

Long story short, biblically accurate König rules, and we stan the German chaos himbo. Even when he's not a himbo lol

#ramblings #call of duty #cod x reader #cod #cod men #konig cod #konig x reader #konig call of duty #könig x reader #könig cod #könig #könig call of duty #headcanon #social anxiety #i have anxiety #but I dont really know how different it is from social anxiety #just did my best #anxiety effects everyone differently after all #he just deserves a hug #he won't hug you in public #of course #but in private he really needs snuggles #alright #im heading to bed now #hopefully #have a nice life

[fawnchives]

and if you take every bisexual girl with social anxiety out of country who’s going to be watching your videos MATTHEW STURNIOLO ??

#₊˚ ʚ mona rambles. #im standing on this hill. most matt girls i come across are always bi with some sort of anxiety disorder #i <3 us !! #matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets

[dutifullylazybread]

Why is Gale Ripped?

Seriously, no shade or shame to the Gale-truthers out there. You all are lovely and your fanart gives me life.

I know that from the conversation in the Stormshore Tabernacle that Gale has supposedly never been nervous before...

THAT BEING SAID I do headcanon that the only reason Gale is ripped is because he is like Chidi Anagonye from The Good Place, and he is, in fact, an anxious soul who does nothing but push-ups (or an aggressive exercise regimen) to combat his stress. Maybe he doesn't even recognize that he is anxious anymore? Maybe he just drops into push ups whenever he has an inkling of nerves and doesn't think anything about it?

I'm just saying that I will happily mod in an idle animation for Gale where he just, at random, begins exercising. Karlach is off to one side doing her jig, and Gale is doing a set of twenty.

(I suggest this as someone who does exercise to help manage my anxiety symptoms; it helps me a bit, but it doesn't always help everyone, and the very fact that I have this lengthy note in parenthesis should tell you EXACTLY how I am feeling right now about sharing this headcanon).

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #gale #headcanon #darcy rambles #cw: anxiety #bg3 headcanons #bg3 gale #gale bg3 #baldur's gate #baldurs gate 3

[shadebloopnik]

This is gonna sound SOOO off or smthn but

Was the Perfect Family Harmony planned to be a weapon against the Bergens?

Long post ahead bc brain is rotting

Ok so as we know, the Perfect Family Harmony is smthn that's so powerful that its capable of shattering diamonds. Not just that but its one of the only thing capable of doing so(according to Floyd it was the only thing but giving the benefit of the doubt)

So we know its strong, and we saw it blasting off Velvet and Veneer off their platforms when they performed it, and they weren't even the targets, they were blasted away by just the shockwave that came with using it.

"Its that powerful."

Ok, so its definitely powerful enough to be used as a weapon right? Yeah it was relatively safe enough to use in front of a crowd, else they wouldn't have tried to do it during a concert, but that could just be when those harmonizing aren't targeting anything.

If it could shatter diamonds, how easily could it break cages? What would it do if it was used to target a Bergen? A whole Kingdom of Bergens?

Lets also go back to that concert, to that time John was obsessed with them getting it right. They were in the Troll tree, in Bergentown, a place where any of them could die during Trollstice. The Bergens were a huge threat, something that trolls, at their size, couldn't fight back against normally so they had to run instead right?

But what if they COULD fight back? What if they had a weapon so powerful that it might finally be able to free them? To defeat the monsters that tortured their kind for centuries?

What if John Dory found a way to help make sure nothing would threaten his brothers' safety ever again?

Like, it'd make John Dory's obsession make SOOO MUCH MORE SENSE

Like yea he clearly has OCD and anxiety and some bossiness and that definitely added to it all, but imagine if it was more than that?

Look at him during that performance. He was in deep. He had a wild look in his eyes, a sort of deranged obsession to have everything be perfect no matter what. It wasn't healthy, it was scary, maybe even downright terrifying for his brothers who had to be subjected to it.

But you know what else he looked like?

Terrified

Man was scared out of his mind. His anxiety and stress levels were through the roof. He probably was one wrong tune away from hyperventilating.

What if it was bc it was so much more than the fans? What if he put the salvation of the entire troll-kind on his shoulders?

One wrong step meant they were nothing.

One wrong step meant disappointing the fans.

One wrong step meant letting down the kingdom.

One wrong step meant another troll getting eaten.

Thats why when they failed, John blew up. He took all of that self-hatred of failing to use that weapon to defeat the bergens and poured it all onto his brothers.

"I know we can reach the Perfect Family Harmony."

"What if we don't want to."

John Dory, blind to how and WHY his brothers didn't want to follow his lead, felt betrayed.

To him, all he's ever done was to ensure their safety, everything was for the greater good. He'd done everything he could, his goals slowly twisting him into a crazed obsession. To hear his brothers say they didn't want to help anymore might've struck a cord too much. If you'd noticed he actually looked really sad and hurt when they started bringing up how much they hated being in the band, but it slowly twisted to anger instead. Kind of in a like, "I tried doing everything for these shts and THIS is how they repay me???" way. He was so stressed and stuck in his own head with his failures that he just couldn't see what his brothers were trying to say.

So in a fit of impulsive rage, he left. To him it probably was like that rlly childish way of saying "Yea im leaving, good luck dealing with the Bergens while im goneee." You know? Like how kids runaway from home when they get angry or upset over every little thing but come back when they realize how stupid that was?

"Im not allowed to change."

And he DID come back. Who knows how long, but he did. Imagine how he must've felt seeing their empty pod in an empty tree, with the knowledge that he could've done something about it. The Perfect Family Harmony could've saved them. They could've used it to break the cage, to fight the Bergens. Hell, it could've been powerful enough to wipe out all the Bergens if they do so wished.

"Im the oldest, I have to be the leader."

He and his brothers were the only ones who'd ever gotten close to getting it right.

"Why do you think I moved into the middle of nowhere? So I didn't have to be in charge of anyone."

The village was counting on them. Counting on him. He let them down. He failed.

"Freeing the village Four little brothers is a lot of responsibility."

They could've gotten it. If only John did it right. If only John did it differently.

If only John Dory was Perfect

#this post got away from ms #idl what happened #what would've happened if they used the Perfecg Family Harmony against a Bergen? #it shattered DIAMONDS man what would it do to FLESH #Why eas John Dory so OBSESSED WITH IT #im rambling i know but!!!!!! IT MAKES SENSE A BIT RIGHT???? #John Dory #john dory #trolls #john dory trolls #trolls dreamworks #trolls band together #brozone #perfect family harmony #john dory angst #idk #trolls branch #trolls clay #trolls floyd #trolls bruce #trolls spruce #brozone trolls #john dory has ocd and anxiety and you can pry that from my cold dead fingers #the perfect family harmony as a bazooka #bergens #trolls bergens #JD #long post #character analysis #i think

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i don't know what order to start Dissecting, so i'll just start with:

it's absolutely fascinating how the dynamic Wally & Barnaby had - to my knowledge - before the update, and a dynamic i'd seen speculated elsewhere and generally accepted, has been completed turned on its head

see, given that Wally is the "main character" and Barnaby is classified as "his best friend", i got the feeling that Barnaby kind of... tags along on Wally's 'shenanigans'. that he's the sidekick, the best friend. especially since their dynamic has been previously & briefly described as "Barnaby is very polite to Wally." he's the Companion.

but the audios sorta paint a reverse picture. in the Interview, when Barnaby enters stage right, he completely bowls over Wally's introduction and dominates the interview. when the interviewer asks how the two of them are handling the fame, even outright asking Wally, Barnaby doesn't hesitate to answer the question himself, and only about himself. Wally doesn't get another word in edge-wise until the interviewer explicitly singles Wally out.

(now, an argument could be made that Barnaby knew that Wally was somewhat overwhelmed with all of the questions, and tried to take the reins to give him a reprieve. but, considering that the interview seems to be very early on the possible timeline - like, very soon after Welcome Home debuted - i don't think this is likely. i doubt Barnaby and Wally would've had the time to solidify their dynamic or really get to know each other that well yet)

and Barnaby continues to take point in pretty much all of their other conversations, too. like in the mystery Howdy/Barnaby/Wally audio, their interaction gives off the vibes that Wally is Barnaby's sidekick, his tag-along.

(on a related tangent, it's fascinating how the website described the episodes as "[beginning] with Wally introducing the focus or theme for the day before coming across other characters who would join him on his escapades until the end of the day." but from pretty much everything we've seen so far, it seems like He's the one who's just along for the ride, bouncing from neighbor shenanigan to neighbor shenanigan instead of having his own adventures.

of course, if the 14 audios are present time, which is honestly somewhat likely, this could be because the show isn't running. they aren't doing episodes - they're just existing, doing their things. no need for Wally to take point in any way shape or form. tangent over)

in the 14 audios with Barnaby, he doesn't even acknowledge Wally until the very end - which, of course, could be because that's how the scenes are set up. except that in some of them, the characters do directly acknowledge Wally's presence outside of the endings. Eddie in 5-14, Howdy and Poppy in 1-14, and Frank in 4-14 (technically, since he was infodumping to Wally at the very start before Barnaby interrupted). you'd think that a guy would try to include his best friend a little more!

maybe i'm reading into it too much. & given what we know about Wally as a character, it would make sense for Barnaby to be the go-getter Main Guy of the two. but it really seems like its Barnaby & Wally instead of Wally & Barnaby. he's just kinda... there. going along with whatever Barnaby is up to.

but also, on the other side of things - & it's occurring to me as i type this, it's interesting how in a lot of audios, Barnaby seems to seek Wally out. in "Just So", he shows up to fetch Wally. in 4-14, Barnaby interrupts Frank and Wally's gardening session, almost as if he's stopping by to check on his little buddy. in 7-14, Barnaby calls Julie's house (presumably) searching for Wally, or at least checking in once again. something to consider in all of this!

#and if the 14 audios are in the same day along a timeline - which they Are. im trying to puzzle it out rn but anyway - #its interesting how barnaby just kept. checkin. in. #they had three audios where they were already hanging out and then got two (technically three) more where barnaby checked in! #it feels like there's something there... #separation anxiety? a compulsion? love for his buddy? a secret fourth thing? #maybe he could tell something was Off with wally that day... #(which is a topic i will ramble about in a different post) #its a push & pull to be certain.... #but yeah that plus all the evidence of Barnaby kinda being the Lead and wally being brushed off to the side.... #what a complicated fuckin picture it paints!!! dont know what it means yet! #i have another post im working on centering on how the neighbors seem to treat each other - wally & eddie especially #but this post aint about that. itll be related though #homebogging #wh speculation #please let this have made sense! #when i make posts i just kinda throw myself at it bc i have No organizational skills! #my brain is a complete incoherent mess and i am so sorry if this post is messy <3