#and you know what if I'd thought about it then I could have done something with the Hudson River in NY

[teaboot]

Forgive me if you’ve already answered something similar but how do you deal with crushing guilt when you did fuck up but there’s not really anything you can do to like make amends or you’ve already done anything you could and still feel guilty?

Like I know the guilt isn’t productive at all, if anything it’s just paralyzing me, and mentally beating myself up over it isn’t actually helping anyone. But I don’t know where to go from there. Idk how to actually forgive myself, or at least be able to move on

CW FOR SELF HARM

Okay, so this is something I've had to work through for a very long time myself, and there's a few different strategies that I've used to cope and process with varying levels of success.

What I used to do was handle the "I've ruined everything and hurt people and am never going to be forgiven" feeling by hurting myself in a number of creative and stupid ways, from physical hurt (Everything you'd expect) to mental hurt (wallowing, speaking badly of myself, going over the bad thing over and over again in my head) to passive hurt (neglecting my health, not eating properly, failing to pursue good living conditions, letting others hurt me, deliberately wandering into risky situations) and despite any short-term relief or peace I got, none of it ultimately fixed anything.

At the end of the day, making myself suffer as retribution or apology didn't fix the thing I'd done and didn't make the guilt go away, and all it gave me was an additional sense of shame and isolation because now not only was I a garbage person, I was a garbage person with something to hide from my loved ones. Zero out of ten, do not recommend.

The stuff that DID help was harder and is going to sound stupid because *I thought it was stupid* until it worked for me.

First: Learn the difference between GUILT and SHAME.

GUILT is how you feel about your choices.

SHAME is how you feel about yourself.

"I was late to a date again, that was inconsiderate": GUILT. The issue can be resolved by analyzing the reason behind the action and planning steps to avoid repeating it in the future. Guilt is productive because it motivates us to improve our choices. Once you've corrected the behaviour, it's over.

A"I was late to a date again, I'm inconsiderate": SHAME. The issue can be resolved by asking ourselves:

What negative thing to I believe about myself?

What other experiences support this belief? What evidence do I have that the bad thing is true?

Do those previous experiences have anything in common? Where they actually proof of a personal lack, or did someone just tell me they were? Were my choices and actions understandable? Did I have a reason? Was I trying to hurt others, or was it a mistake, accident, or learning experience? Have I grown from that experience?

Can I forgive myself for the past? What do I need to do to forgive myself for those past events? Was I really at fault at all, or was it out of my control?

Accept that.

Your present traumas and shames often have roots in beliefs you had about yourself before the new shameful thing occurred. When you dig into resolving the issues that led to today, you can use those conclusions to work through tomorrow. This is something I learned in cognitive behavioral therapy.

There are a number of ways of unpacking these questions, but as I felt I was deliberately avoiding my thoughts and feelings, I chose to jump into them directly, and found it to be effective.

You can write things down, talk to someone, paint something, draw something, whatever. Whatever at all works for you.

My solutions was to find a comfortable place on the floor, sit down, close my eyes, and do box-breathing (in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4) while deliberately thinking about every upsetting memory attached to a specific bad belief that I could recall until I had nothing left to go over.

Judge and jury. Was I a bad person, or did I make a mistake? Did I have malicious intentions, or did someone accuse me of malicious intentions? Am I bad, or have I been conditioned to believe I'm bad? And at the end of it all, am I capable of better? Do I want to be better? And would a truly bad person care?

It was more emotional than I expected the first few times. Cried a lot, actually. But if I can liken it to a common feeling, it was like getting out of a very thorough shower and realizing you didn't know how dirty you were before.

The process sucks ass, no lie, but it's worth it. Like draining pus from a gnarly wound to get it healed up properly.

I'm not an expert, of course, but life has gotten better since I started. I'm better at forgiving myself, at least.

Also: Some people will never forgive others even for tiny things. Sometimes once you've done your best, you've just gotta say "fuck 'em". C'est la vie, mon amie.

Good luck, yeah?

♡

#Self harm cw #Guilt and shame

[ashwhowrites]

hi!! can I request stevie boy loving to suck on the readers boobs while they make up? 🫣🤭

You definitely can. My brain went in three directions with this because I couldn't tell if you meant makeup as in a fight, makeup as in doing makeup, or a type and meant wake up. So I went with the first one. It's a short blurb.

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting🫶🏻

Sucker

"Steve, I'm sorry," Y/N said, but the boy still cried as he kept his head down. "Come here," she cooed, he crawled into her arms and allowed her to hug him. The couple sat on the bed as they embraced.

"I'm sorry for crying. I know I'm sensitive." Steve apologized against her chest.

"Shh, you don't have to be sorry. I'm sorry for being insensitive and hurting your feelings. "What can I do to make you feel better?" She asked

Steve felt his cheeks burn as he thought about it. He was embarrassed to ask, but he had something in mind. And it had been in his mind since their first date.

Steve was a boob guy and he will be one until the day he dies. To him, they had so much purpose and looked great in everything.

He liked to use them as a pillow when they cuddled. He melted into her with the way she played through his hair.

He liked to feel them against his chest as they hugged.

He loved seeing them in her outfits, hidden or out on display.

He loved the way they bounced in his face as she rode him.

He loved feeling them in his hands when he ate her out. He loved how sensitive her nipples were to his touch. He sucked on them slightly during sex and played with them with his teeth.

But he hasn't done what he's been craving to do

"Steve?" she asked, leaning back as she looked at him

"I don't know...I'm scared to ask," he admitted

Y/N sighed and pulled back. She let go of his body but grabbed his hand. "It's okay. Just tell me. I'm your girlfriend, I'd never judge you."

Steve took a deep breath and looked into her eyes, then down to her chest. She wore a loose shirt and he could see her hard nipples looking back at him. He looked back at her face and blushed.

"I um...I think I know what will help me feel better," he said shyly, "can you take your shirt off?"

She bit back a laugh, "You wanna see my boobs?" A small chuckle escaped as she took off her shirt. He beamed with happiness when they came into his view. His hands already reaching forward to cup them.

"I love your boobs," he complimented, squeezing the flesh. "Can I...maybe suck on them?"He shyly looked at her, his hands still massaging her breasts.

Y/N was silent for a minute. She wasn't sure what to say, the question went in a direction she didn't expect. But she'd do anything to make her boy happy.

"Of course, do you want me to like lie down?" She asked

Steve looked at her shocked. The way she just agreed and asked how he wanted to do it made his heart melt.

"Um yeah, maybe like the way we cuddle? Where you play with my hair?" He whispered as he grew more shy under her watchful eyes.

"Yes, pretty boy," she said, she leaned over and pecked his lips, his hand moved away from her chest as he cupped her face and kissed her back.

She pulled back with a smile. She moved down on the bed and rested her back against the mattress. Steve took off his shirt, joining hers on the floor.

He crawled on top of her and placed his head on her chest, his legs tangled with hers. He lazily wrapped his lips around her left nipple, swirling it with his tongue before he began to softly suck.

He moaned in delight as her hands ran through his hair. He sucked gently and it made Y/N more relaxed than she thought it would.

His eyes were closed as he felt himself calming down. He popped off her left nipple with a pop. Then he wrapped his lips around her right one and began to suck.

He switched back and forth until his eyes grew heavy. Her fingers were in his hair as his sucking slowly came to a stop, but his lips were still wrapped around her.

She smiled to herself as he fell asleep. She continued to play with his hair as she closed her eyes. Time ticked until she fell asleep beside him.

#steve harrington fluff #steve stranger things #steve harrignton #steve harrington fluff x reader #steve Harrington x reader #steve Harrington x female reader #steve Harrington fluff x female reader #ashwhowrites #steve harrington requests

[imaginespazzi]

Part 7: Home

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6

These hands had to let it go free and this love came back to (us)

(In which with bittersweet feelings, a nostalgic writer, finally writes the end of the story)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst and Fluff

Words: 7.1K

TW: Swearing, Alludes to Sexual Content

A/N: Hello my loves! I can't believe we've actually reached the end, who would have thought huh? I'm not sure if there will be an epilogue, mainly cause I don't know what I'd write but never say never. I don't really know how I feel about this chapter and if I've done the end I pictured justice but I really hope y'all like it anyways. There's a fair amount of creative liberty taken with WNBA logistics but please just accept it for the plot. Per usual, did I edit? Yes. Are there grammar mistakes and typos anyways? Yes. As always, let me know what you liked and disliked. And finally, to all my lovelies who have liked, reblogged, commented, sent in an ask, dm-ed me or simply just silently read this fic, I just wanna say thank you guys so, so, much, y'all have made writing every word worth it and I hope you enjoyed reading this as much I enjoyed writing it <3

August 2018

Paige swears, tonight, there are stars in the Minnesota night sky she’s never seen before in her life. The summer sky has darkened with nightfall, yet the shine of the moon and its companions make it still seem ever so bright. Or maybe, it’s just the girl lying next to Paige that makes tonight feel luminescent, sparkling with the promises of something not quite like friendship that Paige has never felt before. She’d spent the whole day with Azzi at the Minnesota State fair, trying to suppress these new butterflies in her stomach that seemed to have taken birth over their time in Latvia. Or well, maybe they’d been there from the start, but they’d really only started this dance of theirs, the one that makes Paige feel all tingly when Azzi smiles, over the course of this summer. 

“Paige it’s cold, stop hogging the blanket,” Azzi chastises, breaking Paige from a trance, as she tugs on the pink and purple blanket covering the two of them, “I knew we should have brought two of them.”

“It’s barely on me” Paige argues for the sake of arguing but she shifts anyway to allow the younger girl to pull the blanket, so clearly meant for one person, a little more towards her, “besides, it’s about sharing body heat.”

“You’re not even warm enough to share body heat,” Azzi mocks as she makes a show of tracing a finger down Paige’s arm and everything in the blonde feels like it’s been lit on fire at the touch. And she wonders if Azzi feels it too, the electricity, the sparks of this could ruin me that scatter through her veins before finding themselves setting her heart ablaze. It’s too much and Paige shakes Azzi’s hand off with a little more force than she means too. 

When Azzi sends her questioning look, she splutters through an excuse, “your hands are cold too. Can we just do the boring shit we’re here to do.”

"Stargazing is not boring,” Azzi says indignantly, opening the little stargazing booklet she’d brought with her, flicking through the pages looking for something specific. 

To be honest, sitting still in an open field and squinting at the sky trying to figure out a distant constellation isn’t really Paige’s brand of entertainment. She’s a fidgety person by nature, constantly embroiled in the urge to be moving. But Azzi had brought it up the other day, with pleading eyes and a hopeful grin and well, sometimes it felt sinful to deny Azzi of anything she wants. And that’s how they’d ended up at a campsite, not too far from the State fair, lying on the grass, heads tilted towards each other, with a single blanket shielding them from the summer breeze. 

“Okay,” Azzi says after a while, using her fingers to point out a pattern in the sky, “I think that one’s Cassopeia.”

“If you say so,” Paige nods, not really sure what she’s supposed to be looking at. 

“Paaaaige,” Azzi whines, “focus.”

“Dude I can barely see anything, the fuck am I supposed to focus o-”

Before Paige can finish her sentence, she feels herself being pulled by the younger girl, the side of her body fitting into the crook’s of Azzi’s like a perfect puzzle piece. She looks over at the brunette, and the protest dies on the tip of her tongue, as she realises just how close Azzi is to her now, all semblance of air leaving her lungs. Paige gulps, eyes tracing every inch of her best friend’s face, stopping of their own accord at Azzi’s lips, before guiltily flashing back to meet the younger girl’s eyes which are just as focused on Paige. And it feels like there’s no force in this world right now that could make either of them look away. Except maybe the force of friends don’t do this. 

“Just focus,” Azzi breaks contact first, turning her face back at the stars, before gently grabbing hold of Paige’s hand so she can guide it in the pattern of the constellation. And Paige still doesn’t really see it, doesn’t even particularly care about seeing it, but if it gets Azzi to hold her hand, soft skin putting light pressure against her palm, she thinks she’ll try to see some random lines in the sky forever. 

“It’s pretty.”

“You don’t see it do you?”

“Nope,” Paige’s grin widens when Azzi chuckles, shaking her head fondly. Something in her blooms, delighted at being the reason for that. And she’s always prided herself in being funny, she thinks of herself as a little bit of a comedian really, but she’s never wanted to make anyone laugh quite as much as she wants to make Azzi laugh. 

“Well that’s enough stargazing for us then,” Azzi rolls her eyes, closing her little booklet and making a move to sit up but Paige is quicker, pulling the younger girl back down and interlocking their fingers. Her own overeagerness causes a tinge of embarrassment to race up her cheeks, and she hopes it’s dark enough that Azzi won’t see the pale pink blush taking over her face. 

“It’s peaceful out here,” she says quietly, sounding shy even to her own ears and she can’t help but wonder when the hell that happened, “you wanna stay a little longer?”

“Yeah okay let’s stay longer,,” Azzi agrees  and sometimes when Azzi speaks like that, her voice lyrically soft with a secret smile hidden in it, Paige wonders if maybe it would be okay to hope for, to feel something more because maybe, just maybe, Azzi feels it too. 

“You know you should come to the state championship,” Paige says after a second of silence, trying to keep her voice nonchalant but she can hear the wishfulness bleeding into it anyways. 

Azzi raises an eyebrow, “isn’t that in March? That’s like months and months away.”

“Yeah but- well-” Paige shrugs, cheeks burning just a little bit, “you probably wanna book in advance cause like tickets and stuff you know?”

“You don’t even know if you’ll be in the state championship. There’s still a whole season to go.”

“Oh I know. I know we’re definitely gonna be there.” Paige smirks, cockiness back in full-fledged form. 

“Then I’ll be there,” Azzi says, as if it’s the simplest thing in the world, “you better win though Bueckers.”

“Watch me,” and she’s jutting her chest out in arrogance sure, but really everything inside her is swelling with something else, a feeling she’s starting to understand a little too well, a feeling that terrifies her, a feeling she doesn’t think she’s quite ready to let herself feel yet, “it would be nice you know, to win a championship together at some point.”

“I don’t think my parents would be on board with moving to Minnesota.”

“I’m sure I could convince them,” Paige feels a little giddy at the thought, “but I meant more like college, like UConn.”

It’s a topic they’ve stumbled upon a couple of times, with each other, and with the other girls at Team USA. And as much as Paige would love for her other teammates to follow her to her dream school, she’s practical enough to know they might have other priorities. But the thing is that with the rest of the girls, it’s just something she’d like to happen but with Azzi, now that Paige has said it out loud, she’s beginning to realise how desperately she wants that, her and Azzi, on the same team, fighting the same battles and winning the same wars, together. 

“Don’t think you can win a national championship without me Bueckers?” Azzi smirks, twisting her head towards Paige, eyebrows cocked in arrogance. 

“Of course I can,” Paige’s face softens, the vulnerability that only ever seems to come out around her best friend seeping on to her features, “but I think it would be fun to win one with you. Someday.”

“Someday, “ Azzi whispers back, giving Paige’s hand a light squeeze, and then her eyes widen at the sky, “holy shit is that a shooting star? Oh my god Paige look up, quick, it’s beautiful.”

In the dark of the night, a rare flicker of gold shoots across the obsidian Minnesota sky. Paige has never seen one before but it seems fitting really, that she’d see one tonight. 

“We have to make a wish,” she whispers and Azzi, never one to really believe, rolls her eyes but she follows Paige’s lead, closing her eyes. And the thing is Paige could wish for a lot of things really, but she finds herself thinking of only one word that sums up all she could ever want: someday.

***

August 2026 

They’ve been playing against each other for years now and yet the thrill of the face-off still hasn’t quite worn off. Back in the handful of games in high school, it had been quickfire friendly trash talk, two best friends going at it like the competitors they were. College had been drastically different, each game, each play, underlined with the tension of two people who still hadn’t quite figured it out. But Paige thinks her favourite version of them as opponents is definitely this one, the one where they might be on different teams in the WNBA, but off the court, they both know they’re on the same side, together. 

Their relationship isn’t quite a secret; it would have been impossible to hide if after the kiss at the 2025 national championship. But they’d kept as quiet about it as possible, skillfully dodging media questions, wanting to shelter it from the prying eyes of the public. It makes playing each other on national television, just that little bit more entertaining, trying to keep things as cordial as possible. If Paige’s hands end up just a little too close to Azzi’s waist, lingering a little longer than necessary against the patch of skin she’d marked with a hickey earlier this morning, and it makes the younger girl shiver, then that’s just a tactic to win. And if Azzi breathes seductive thoughts of what she’d like to do after the game when guarding Paige, and it makes the blonde want to turn around and kiss the smirk off of her girlfriend’s lips, well that’s just another innovative defensive strategy. 

“Be a good girl for me and move,” Paige whispers, the double entendre in her voice apparent, as she tries to dribble the ball past Azzi. There’s only a minute or so left in the last meeting of the regular season between Paige’s Lynx and Azzi’s Mystics -funny how that had worked out-  and the score is painfully close, with the Mystics closing in on the Lynx’s two point-lead. 

“Always a good girl for you P,” Azzi smirks, her voice the quietest it could possibly be, but Paige hears her next words like they’re on a loudspeaker in the area,  “it’s why I’m wearing your favourite purple panties.”

It takes a second, a second where Paige’s eyes gloss over with lust, as her mind rushes back to the last time she’d seen, the last time she’d touched the silky undergarment, for the ball to be stolen from her hands. She’s a step too slow to recover and by that time Azzi’s already scored the easy lay-up to tie up the game, a mischievous grin adorning her normally stoic game face. 

On the other end of the court, Napheesa draws a foul and Paige and Azzi end up next to each for free throws. Paige is seething, unsure if the heat curling up her spine is from the game or the girl standing next to her. 

“Sorry baby, all’s fair in love and war right?” Azzi teases, pinky brushing against the blonde’s, “I’ll make it up to you later if you want.”

“You’re such a fucking menace,” Paige practically growls. She does want, in fact she’d like it right now if it was possible. Two years they’ve been together, longer if you count the inbetween, and still, every time Azzi lights a match, Paige feels herself burn just as brightly as the first time she’d felt that magnetic pull. 

“Learnt from the best,” Azzi hums with a grin as Napheesa hits both free throws. 

The rest of the game passes in a blur of frenzied shots and hurried fouls but the Lynx pull out an eventual, much-needed win, to better their chances of clinching a higher seed in the playoffs. After missing the playoffs in 2024, the Lynx, despite having relatively low odds, had secured the no.1 pick and there had never really been a doubt that they would pick Paige. She’d helped the team get back to the playoffs last season but they hadn’t made it out of the first round. A championship doesn’t seem quite possible yet, but Paige has her fingers crossed that they’d at least make it to a semi-final this time. 

“The two of you are terrible at this,” Aaliyah’s the first person to hug Paige during the handshake line, “I thought you’d jump each other’s bones in the middle of the game today.”

“We’re not that bad,” Paige rolls her eyes at her former teammate. She high-fives a few more of the Mystics team until she gets to Azzi, who’s already smiling, despite the loss. The cameras are quick to crowd them, clearly wanting a more sensational picture than the one they’re likely to get. Still, despite the unwanted attention, Paige lets herself nestle into the crook of Azzi’s neck. 

“You owe me twice tonight,” she whispers into the younger girl’s ear, “one for the win and one for that bullshit you pulled on the court tonight.”

Azzi’s voice is breathless when she replies, “I can give you way more than two.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“It’s a promise.”

***

“With the new rules, after this season you’ll be a free agent, have you given any thought to that?”

Waiting for the Lynx’s turn in the media room, Paige hadn’t been paying much attention to the questions being asked to the Mystics players, her focus solely on how hot her girlfriend always looked post games. But the words ‘free agent’ pique her interest. The W had changed the rookie contract rules for first round draftees to two years and that meant both Paige and Azzi would be free agents after this year. But while it hadn’t reached the media quite yet, the Lynx were likely to use their core designation on Paige. Which meant the only one of them making any decision about next season would be Azzi. It was a subject the two of them were cautiously tip-toeing around, using the shield of distance to avoid talking about what it could mean for them. 

“I’m focused on the season, this team and the rest of our games. I’m not really thinking about the future,” Azzi answers diplomatically. 

“You’ve obviously got very strong ties to the DC area but you also went to UCLA, if the Sparks or maybe even the Valkyries, considering your connection to Steph Curry, were interested, and there have been rumours that they are, would you consider it?” the same reporter prods. 

“Again, I’m not currently thinking about any of that,” to anyone else Azzi probably sounds neutral but Paige has studied the sheet music of Azzi’s voice to the point where she knows what’s hidden behind every note, behind every little indent. The tinge of irritation is masked by a smile, but the line of questioning is clearly unappreciated. 

“And what about the Lynx?” the persistently oblivious reporter continues and this time Paige sucks in a breath, “you have some ties to that team don't you? Have you given some thought to maybe going there?”

Azzi’s eye twitches ever so slightly, “the Lynx just beat my team. The only thoughts I have right now are about how to beat them next time.”

That elicits a laugh from the media and finally the rather obtuse reporters seem to understand that he’s not going to be able to pry anything newsworthy from Azzi’s mouth. But even if he hasn’t achieved his desired effect, he’s succeeded in making Paige’s mind start running in circles. She hadn’t let herself think about it yet, the potential of Azzi joining the Lynx, the potential of playing with Azzi, the potential of finally just being with Azzi. Because facing the potential for all of that, facing all the things she wants means also facing the potential that maybe Azzi doesn’t want any of that. 

***

The air in Paige’s living room is thick with a suffocating tension as she and Azzi sit on opposite ends of the couch. It reminds Paige a little bit of the before, a dreaded version of them she’d foolishly thought they grown out of, until something reminiscent of their past problems had reared its ugly head, and suddenly it feels a bit like she’s playing a losing game. 

“Will you please stop that,” she bites out, referring to where Azzi’s foot is incessantly tapping on the wooden floors, “it’s giving me a headache.”

Azzi’s eyes narrow, flashing with irritation, “is it my tapping or the alcohol giving you a headache Paige?”

“I didn’t even drink that much,” Paige says through gritted teeth and Azzi scoffs. 

It’s a lie. After both teams were done with post game pressers, she, Azzi and a couple of the other girls had ended up at a local bar as they often did when the other team didn’t have to fly out til the next day. Paige had been tense the whole evening and trying to pretend not to be, especially when Azzi could see right through her façade, had only made the whole thing worse. She wasn’t one to drink too much, always happy just being sufficiently tipsy but then she’d gotten in her head too much. And when the first shot didn’t quite hit the way she needed it to, she’d kept on going, receiving worried looks from all the girls, until Azzi had finally stepped in. The ride back from the bar had been a sobering experience, one look at Azzi’s stoic face, giving away her irritation. 

“That’s why you still reek of tequila?” 

“How the fuck would you know? You haven’t come near me all night.” 

“Don’t you dare try and turn this on me Paige. I tried to talk to you all night til you decided you wanted to act like freshman frat boy,” Azzi spits out, hurt and anger colliding in her voice, “we barely get to spend time together during the season and the one night in forever that we do, you pull this shit?”

They haven’t had an argument like this since they’ve been officially together, the kind of argument that has them balancing on a delicate tight rope, too afraid to take a step backwards in their relationship, and too prideful to take a step forward towards each other. 

“I didn’t think you cared about spending time together during the season,” Paige accuses and there’s a sensible part of her, one that’s currently being held captive by the dangers of liquor, that knows it’s a ridiculous allegation. 

Azzi stares at her, lips opening and closing in disbelief, “excuse me?”

“It’s pretty simple really Azzi. If you wanna spend the whole season together, the option is right fucking there, but I- I can’t even tell if you’re interested in taking it,” Paige is pacing now, teeth gnawing at her lips like they always do when she’s nervous. 

“What- what are you even talking about?” Azzi asks, clearly confused. 

“Free fucking agency. They asked you about it and you said you hadn’t thought about it at all. That’s really great to hear Az, really great to know you haven’t thought about how that could literally change our whole fucking life,” and even as the words waterfall out of her mouth, Paige knows she’s being unreasonable, but the mix of stress and alcohol churning in her stomach is just enough to keep her from taking the words back. 

“I didn’t- that’s not even what I said. Jesus fucking christ Paige,” Azzi rubs her face, looking defeated.

“So you have thought about it then?”

“Of course I’ve thought about it, “ Azzi throws her hands up, “but I wasn’t gonna tell the media about all of that. But you- you seriously think I haven’t thought about what this means for us? You don’t- do you really think I’m not thinking about you- about us- while trying to make this decision?”

“Well you definitely didn’t think of me- of us- when you chose UCLA,” Paige’s eyes widen at her own words, knowing immediately that of all things she could have said, those were the worst ones, “I- I didn’t mean it like that.”

In front of her, Azzi has gone deathly still, face completely devoid of emotion, until the first tear drops and all of Paige’s anger dissipates, the guilt clawing back with full force. 

“I thought we were over that,” Azzi whispers, voice trembling, as she looks down at her hands, “but maybe we’ll never be over that.”

“We are,” Paige sinks to her knees in front of the younger girl, tugging Azzi’s hands into her own, “we are over it. I just- it just slipped out.”

Azzi’s quiet for a moment before she pulls her hands out of the blonde’s grip, sidestepping her as she stands up and Paige feels empty and cold and just a little bit broken. 

“Are you leaving?” she whispers, peering up at Azzi through tear soaked eyelashes. 

“I think I should, before anything else just slips out,” Paige flinches and Azzi’s expression softens, “I know- I know you didn’t mean it like that but I just- I need some space.”

Panic filters into Paige’s lungs, wrapping its dirty hands and squeezing so tight that she can barely breathe. She’s not sure when she’ll see Azzi again, now that there’s no more Lynx-Mystics games left in the regular season and it’s unlikely with their expected seedings that they’d meet at some point in the playoffs. It’s not like distance is new to them, but in the last two years, they’ve only ever said goodbye with an i love you attached to the end. 

“Are you-,” Paige gasps for air, “are you leaving me?”

And it must be written all over Paige's face, just how petrified she is of this moment, because that's all it takes for Azzi to rush back into Paige’s space, hands cupping her cheeks, “oh baby of course not. I just- you’re still drunk and I’m upset and I don’t want us to say anything we don’t mean. And I- need time to think about free agency and I think you- you need time to think about why that slipped out.”

Paige sighs, melting into Azzi’s touch as the knots in her stomach begin to untangle themselves, “you’re so logical.”

“Someone has to be,” a half-smile flitters across the younger girl’s face as she wipes at Paige’s tears, “we’ll figure this out okay? Just- just give me a little bit of time.”

Give me time. It’s a familiar line, so similar to what Azzi had asked for when she was making a decision about college and Paige would be lying if she said there isn’t a part of her that’s terrified fate is going to make them repeat the same mistakes. But part of growing up, Paige surmises, is letting time test you with the same trials and tribulations, and the next time, coming out of the other end on the right side. 

And so she squeezes Azzi’s hand, matching the younger girl's half smile, with a soothing one of her own, “okay.”

***

November 2027 

Paige doesn't know when she ended up in a love triangle with Azzi and the state of California but she wishes she was competing against an actual person. At least then she could throw a punch at the other guy. The W season is barely over and it seems like every front office has thrown themselves headfirst into convincing free agents to join their team. There’s a couple of teams interested in Azzi, but no one seems to be trying harder than the Los Angeles Sparks. Paige thinks whoever gave that city a name meaning “the angels” could not have been more wrong because really it’s a city full of devils constantly trying to steal her girl and no she’s not being dramatic. 

They’re supposed to be leaving for thanksgiving dinner when Azzi’s phone rings and Paige can’t help but roll her eyes when Cameron Brink’s name flashes on the CallerID. The Sparks seemed to have put her as head of their recruiting Azzi campaign and Cam had been diligently doing her part. 

“Azzi, Cam’s calling again,” Paige yells out to her girlfriend who’s still not quite finished getting ready.

“Can you pick it up?”

“Do I have to?”

“Paige,” Azzi whines and Paige sighs, hitting the green answering button. 

“The amount of times you’ve called my girlfriend this week, Brink, should I be concerned?”

“Jealous I’m replacing you as her favourite blonde?” Cam’s voice always sounds like she’s smiling and Paige can’t help her own smile. Goddamn Cameron Brink for always being the sweetest soul on this planet. 

“As if,” Paige scoffs, “it’s a holiday Cam, give the recruiting a rest.”

“Hey, I’m just calling to wish her a happy thanksgiving,” Cam defends. 

“Mmmhmm where’s my thanksgiving wish?”

“Oh please, the two of you are basically a unit. Wishing her is wishing you,” Cam is quiet for a second before speaking again, “the Sparks would be a good fit for her Paige.”

Paige sucks in a sharp breath, “I’m not the one you’re gonna have to convince.”

“I know but you know your opinion means a lot to her. I know you want her in Minnesota and she'd be good there too and I- I know it isn’t my place to say any of this but just- just don’t discourage her from doing what’s best for her,” there’s not a hint of malice in Cam’s words, there never is, but they pierce at Paige’s skin anyways. 

“Okay I’m ready, hand me the phone,” she’s saved from having to answer by Azzi waltzing into the living room and prying the phone from her hands. 

Paige watches silently as Azzi talks animatedly with Cam, noticing the way her girlfriend’s smile widens while talking about certain spots in L.A. They’d subconsciously decided not to breach the subject of free agency after that night. Paige hadn’t interfered in any of the Lynx’s conversations with Azzi, deciding that this time, she’d stay out of it. It hadn’t been easy, every little bit of her itching to pitch why the Lynx were the perfect fit, why Paige was the perfect fit, but she was determined to give Azzi the space -the time- she’d wanted. This time she’d leave the choice solely up to Azzi and whatever she decided, Paige would find her happiness in that. 

“Paige you ready to go,” Azzi waves a hand in front of Paige’s face, eyebrows raised in question when the older girl doesn’t make a move to get off the sofa, “hey, you good?”

“Cam says the Sparks would be a good fit,” Azzi stiffens at Paige’s words. 

“Paige-”

“She’s right,” Paige concedes, fingers fidgeting as she averts Azzi’s gaze. 

The younger girl blinks at her, clearly not having expected that, “she is?”

“Yeah. They need a shooting guard and you,” Paige smiles, reaching out to pull Azzi onto the couch with her, “you’re the best there is.”

“I wouldn’t go that far-”

“You are to me and it’s why I want you on the Lynx,” they both let out a breath with that. It’s not a secret of course but Paige hasn’t said it out loud before. 

“Paige-”

“But it’s okay if you don't wanna be on the Lynx, if you wanna be on the Sparks or stay here with the Mystics or on any other team, if you think it’s the right move for you and for your career then that’s fine. It’s okay and you don’t- you don’t need my permission or anything of course but I just- whatever you decide, I’ll support it okay? What I said that night about UCLA-  it wasn't- it wasn’t about you. I thought about it like you asked me to and it’s me. I was scared that I would fuck it up again and I’d lose you again-”

“You won’t,” Azzi grabs Paige’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze,  “I won’t let you.”

“I know. I know now that whatever happens, we’ll be okay. And so you can choose whatever team you want and it won’t- it won’t affect us, I promise. It won’t be like last time I swear. When you make your decision- I just- I don’t want you to make it for me or for us, cause you and me? Baby we’ll be just fine no matter what. Wherever you go and wherever I am, we’ll make it work, just as we have for the last two years,” Paige smirks, “besides I kinda enjoy kicking your ass.”

Azzi lets out a snort as she climbs onto Paige’s lap, thighs straddling her hips, “you really had to ruin it with that last part huh?”

“Was getting a little too sappy for me,” Paige mumbles and when she looks up, the emotions floating in Azzi’s eyes make Paige’s heart stutter. Because no one else gets this Azzi. This Azzi, who wears her heart on her sleeve, who lets her walls down, only for Paige’s eyes to see, only for Paige’s mind to memorise, only for Paige’s heart to keep. 

“You mean it?” Azzi whispers, brushing a strand of hair out of Paige’s face, touching lingering, “you’d be okay with anything?”

“Yeah, yeah I do,” Paige cups Azzi’s cheeks, brushing her lips against the younger girl’s, “whatever you choose, we’ll be fine. No matter what, I believe in us.”

***

January 2028

Paige groans when her phone rings at 2 a.m., fumbling around in the dark trying to answer it. 

“I swear you better be dying if you’re calling me this late,” she grumbles into the phone, voice scratchy with sleep. 

“Not quite,” Azzi says, and Paige’s eyebrows furrow at the amount of background noise she can hear behind her girlfriend. 

“Dude where the hell are you at 3 in the morning?” she asks, now a little more awake as she sits up. 

“I uh- I had a bit of a revelation,” and Paige can practically picture Azzi, wherever she might be, fidgeting with her fingers and biting her lips. 

“That doesn’t explain anything.”

“I know. I know. Shit, I was supposed to do this in person. I had a whole plan but apparently being with you has made me impatient,” Azzi rambles. 

“You’re still not making any sense,” but Paige’s heart is starting to beat erratically fast in anticipation. 

“I had this realisation while I was in the gym today, it was really quiet and peaceful and I was fine you know- all day I was fine- just doing daily routines and then I just- I missed you. I miss you all the time do you know that?”

Paige does know, knows it far too well. Sometimes she thinks missing Azzi comes as naturally as breathing, an innate part of her day to day, a constant ache that she’s felt since she was 15. 

“I miss you too,” she whispers. 

“And I’ve learned to survive with that feeling, with missing you constantly. I mean it’s been more than 10 years at this point, how could I not? But what I realised today is that just because I can- just because I can live missing you- doesn’t mean I want to.”

“What are you saying Azzi?”

“DC is my childhood. My family is close to there, it’s part of where I grew up. It’ll always be my first home. And LA is where I found myself, my identity, and for a while it felt like home too.”

“Azzi,” Paige breathes out, hands gripping the phone as tight as possible, wrapping that one syllable in emblems of give me forever. 

“But my forever home isn’t in DC or LA and it’s not really in any other place either because-  Jesus this might be the clichést thing I’ve ever said but-,” Azzi lets out a chuckle, “my home is wherever you are Paige. Wherever we’re together, that’s home.”

It feels a little bit like the end of a drought, the wetness on Paige’s cheeks like the rain that comes after. In the pitch black of her room, phone clutched closely to her ear with Azzi’s words floating through it like a swan song, Paige swears she’s never felt the world glow quite like this before. 

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Beating your ass has been fun as hell but I think we’d make a pretty good team Bueckers.”

And it’s a good thing Paige’s walls are soundproof because the delighted whoop she lets out practically vibrates around the room, all previous wisps of tiredness completely gone from her body. Azzi lets out a tearful laugh and Paige wishes they were together right now so she could tattoo this happiness onto both of their skins. 

“The greatest team ever,” Paige affirms, “When are you com-”

“Attention passengers Delta Airlines Flight 1248 to Minnesapolis will be boarding soon, please have your passport and ticket ready to check at the gate.”

“About that,” Azzi says shyly as Paige’s mouth drops open at the announcement, “I uh- I had a moment of spontaneity.”

“Who the hell are you and what have you done with my overthinking girlfriend?” Paige demands and Azzi giggles on the other end of line.

“I know it’s last minute, like really last minute and it was meant to be a surprise actually but I just- I really wanna see you. Is that okay?”

“Is that okay? Fuck Azzi, it’s all I want. Baby,” Paige breathes out softly, “come home.”

*** 

Time isn’t going nearly fast enough Paige thinks as she checks the arrivals board for the nth time. She’d tried for about four seconds to fall back asleep after hanging up the phone but her entire body had been buzzing with excitement. And so she’d gotten to the airport far earlier than necessary, and had maybe one too many cups of coffee if the jittery shake in her left hand is anything to go by. This moment feels like years in the making, and Paige is ready, ready to grasp it and make it hers. 

She swears she feels her before she sees her. The air is electric as if the whole city, the whole state is waiting for Azzi too, for them to get their elusive forever. This moment feels like years in the making, and Paige is ready, ready to grasp it and make it hers. And then there’s Azzi, a clearly chosen-at-last minute wrinkled t-shirt, eyes drooping from the tiredness from not having slept all night, baby hairs in a frenzy across her forehead. To Paige, she’s still the prettiest girl in the entire universe. 

Azzi’s eyes scan through the airport until they land on Paige, a dazzling smile illuminating her exhausted features. It’s the exact same smile that Paige had first elicited from her on the flight back from Argentina when she’d told Azzi she had a feeling they'd make great friends. It’s her Paige smile. The world is still for a second, everything melting away except them and the whispers of the journey it had taken them to get to this point. Every delicately placed step towards each other feels like an ode to every year they’d spent apart. And then Paige is running, not caring about everyone else around her. She jumps into Azzi’s arm, all 6 feet of her, tangling her legs around the younger girl's waist while her arms fasten around the neck. It forces Azzi to let go of her small carry-on, not caring that it falls to the floor with a thud, as her hands wrap around Paige’s back, steadying her girlfriend’s weight on top of her. 

“You’re here,” Paige whispers, still a little in disbelief, “you’re really here.”

“I’ve been in Minny plenty of times before,” Azzi quips, adjusting her balance to properly hold the girl clinging to her like a koala. 

“Shut up you know what I mean. You’re here forever this time.”

“Well I don’t know about forever- OW,” Azzi shrieks, as Paige pinches her arm, “do you want me to drop you woman?”

“You’re never allowed to leave.”

“That sounds vaguely threatening.”

“Good because it definitely is a threat,” Paige says before pulling Azzi into a searing kiss, “welcome home baby.”

***

October 2028 

There are moments in life you remember forever. Sometimes you know they’re going to happen, sometimes they take you off guard and sometimes, it’s a combination of both. The Minnesota Lynx’s journey to the WNBA finals this season had always felt inevitable but the journey there, for a team that had unexpectedly fallen to the 4-seed despite pre-season clamour of them being number one, had been filled with bitter losses and moments of pure uncertainty. In a way, it perfectly mirrors Paige and Azzi’s relationship. 

There’s 11 seconds separating the Lynx from their 5th championship trophy as they lead the Sky by two points. The crowd is up on their feet, ready for their cheering to turn into roars the minute the final buzzer rings. Paige has the ball in her hands on the inbound, Coach Reeves yelling at her from the bench what to do, as she makes eye contact with Azzi. There are no words, not even a gesture that the other team might be able to interpret, but they know exactly what play they’re about to run.

Truth be told it hadn’t been the seamless transition the two of them had expected when Azzi joined the Lynx. They’d been naive to think years of not playing together wouldn’t have affected the backcourt chemistry they’d had almost instantly once upon a time. The first few games, there had been an embarrassing disconnect between the two of them that had resulted in a nasty berating from Coach Reeves and a subsequent argument between the two of them that had lasted into the next morning. It had taken several more practices, and a couple more games of flailing around, for them to finally become the duo Paige had always known they would. 

The game buzzer beeps and Paige throws the ball to Azzi who immediately returns it back to her, and then she’s running off screen after screen to get herself open on the wing, her sweet spot. Paige dribble penetrates into the paint, dragging an extra defender with her as they try to prevent her from getting a layup, the other defender blocks her from stepping back into a pull-up. Azzi’s defender has a momentary lapse in judgement, falling for the age-old trick of thinking she should help on defence, and that’s all it takes. A second for Paige to see Azzi open on the corner and pass it to her. A second for Azzi to shoot it. 

The three-pointer falls through the next with a perfect swish. Dagger shot. 

A small smile flits across Azzi’s face, the only emotion she’s shown all game and Paige can’t help the much larger grin that starts to flash on her own face. She can almost taste victory on the tip of her tongue, the two seconds left in the game are the only thing separating her from finally getting her version of the things we live for. Behind her she can hear Coach Reeves yelling at them to not foul, the 5-point lead enough of a cushion for them to withstand a last minute shot. But the Sky barely make it over midcourt and when Marina Mabrey heaves up a last second prayer, Paige doesn’t bother to see if it goes in as the buzzer sounds throughout Target Arena. The Minnesota crowd explodes in noise and colour as confetti falls from the sky. 

Despite the chaos of everything, Paige has never seen Azzi clearer than in this moment. Since she’d met the girl, in all of Paige’s prayers about winning a championship, one thing had always been constant, that when they’d come true, they’d come true with Azzi by her side. And she had been. The high school state champion, the college national championship, Azzi had been there for both but on the bleachers, as a spectator and as Paige’s biggest fan. But this, winning a championship with Azzi as her teammate, as her ally, as her partner, means something more. This win is theirs. 

“Do you remember when we saw that shooting star?” Azzi says softly, as they find their way into each other’s arms, not caring that there’s a thousand cameras capturing their every move. Paige pulls Azzi closer to her, every inch of her body pressing into the other girls until she’s not sure where she begins and where Azzi ends. 

“That was years ago,” Paige remarks but she can see it clearly, two young girls underneath the stars, unaware of what their future would be but sure that the other would be in it. Those girls would probably laugh at how long it had taken Paige and Azzi to figure out what had seemed so simple back then. 

“Yeah, yeah it was. Do you remember what you wished for?” Azzi asks, smiling when Paige nods, “do you wanna know what I wished for?”

“What did you wish for Az?”

“Before we saw the star you- you said it’d be nice to win a championship together someday. And so I-,” Azzi looks down shyly, “so I wished for someday. I wished for today.”

Paige stares at Azzi, drinking in the sincerity on the shooting guard’s face, silently letting herself absorb the meaning of Azzi’s words. And then she lets out a laugh because of course of course. 

“I didn’t realise I’d said anything funny for you to be laughing at me,” Azzi scrunches her nose, looking slightly offended. 

“God baby no,” Paige cups Azzi’s face, and she thinks this smile on her face will last forever as long as this is her reality, “I’m not laughing at you. I just- do you know what I wished for?” 

Azzi shakes her head. 

“This. The same exact thing you did. For someday.”

It’s not quite the shade of blue Paige had imagined them in, the Lynx blue its own shade, something inbetween UConn’s navy one and UCLA’s sky one. But it’s perfect nonetheless. And when Azzi crashes her lips against Paige’s, someday feels a lot like forever and always.

#pazzi #paige bueckers #azzi fudd #wcbb

[dotster001]

Hey! I don't know if this will be too much of a bother to ignore this if you want.

I was wondering if I could request the first years with a crush on their classmate who is also Malleus Draconia’s younger brother, similar to what you did with the second years.

I hope you have a good day 🫶

Summary: First years x masc Malleus' Brother reader

A/N: So, I've been horribly burnt out, and I looked through my drafts because hey if I finish something that's almost done I can feel a sense of accomplishment....tell me why I only had two paragraphs left of this? Why didn't I finish this before?!?! Dot's brain is truly something else 😭

Second Years

I'd like to think you still meet at the statues of the seven. You're staring up at the Thorn Fairy, and he sees you. And damn does he think you're hot. Ace is blunt. Life's too short for him to not hit on the hot Diasomnia student.

His idea is to try and hit on you with his extensive (bullshit) knowledge on the thorn fairy, since you seem so fascinated with her. You let most of his lies go, holding back the laugh that lies in your mouth, but when he says, “The Thorn Fairy's favorite food is pineapple.” You laugh quite loudly, and say, “I didn't think that was grandmother's favorite food. I shall have to ask her.” It's only then the idiot puts together the horns, and the Diasomnia uniform, and the regal aura, and realizes he might have fucked up. Luckily for him, a green haired student comes storming over to you, shouting about not wandering off, so he doesn't have to deal with the consequences of his actions.

You joined his table at lunch, and that startled him. He expects you to say something but you never do. You just chat politely, answering questions asked of you, and posturing your own queries in return. For a moment, he forgets that you're the fae brother of a prince, and that both you and your brother could set him ablaze if you wanted to. You're just one of the boys. Until you make direct eye contact, and delicately nibble a piece of pineapple. He burst into laughter, but your poker face wins, and he can't explain the joke to the confused people at the table because he keeps laughing too hard.

You become one of his best friends, but he never gets past his initial thoughts that you're hot as hell. And the closer he gets to you, it only gets worse. You're the total package and he wants to be your pathetic mortal boyfriend, who sometimes gets to show off by dedicating his play of the game to you, while you pretend you understand the appeal of basketball. 

But he's realistic. A prince could never have a basic peasant as a boyfriend. A fae could never date a human. So he's willing to just be your friend.

“Would you be my escort at my brother's coronation?” As much as you were easier to approach than your brother, you could still be just as blunt, and not very good at social cues. So you just came up to him in the middle of the hall and asked, literally, out of nowhere. He's startled and laughs it off with something stupid, and then makes a hasty escape, but not before seeing your vicious pout.

He shouldn't be surprised when you appear in his room in a flurry of fireflies, the pout still on your face.

“You brushed me off, child of man.” At the start of the friendship, he'd be scared that you, your brother, or Sebek, would kill him. But he doesn't mind fighting back now, exploiting how you think he's fragile. “So what? I had stuff to do.” This just makes you glare at him. 

You continued to glare at him, and silence filled the room. You break the silence first. “Well?” “Well what?” “Will you be my escort to my brother's coronation?” He should say no, and he almost does. You probably just want a friend to support you at a long party, and Sebek would be busy doing knight stuff, so you came to him. That's how he rationalizes it. You want a friend, and he'd think too deeply into it the closer it got to the event. Yeah. That's it. 

Instead of saying no, he just keeps staring, and you sigh. “Was Lilia wrong? He said you felt the same way.” You just look so sad. “Feel the same about what?” “He said you were head over heels for me, too.” 

Too? Too! He's reeling, and you must see it because suddenly you look less sad. In fact, you look downright predatory as you grin. “You do feel the same, don't you? You humans are so silly.” You push him back so he's laying down, then hover over him, giving him a soft kiss. He groans and runs his hands in your hair. You pull away far too soon for him, and he whines as he grabs your horns and tries to drag you back to him. He's no match for your strength, and you effortlessly pull away from him with a laugh. You hover over him and give him an evil grin.

“Poor child of man. You look so sad. Tell you what, I'll kiss you all you want if you are my escort.”

He wants to be snarky and refuse, at least until you give him what he wants now, but he's weak. So he finds himself nodding, breathing heavily as you trace his lips with a perfectly manicured finger, and he gets very distracted by the fact that you aren't wearing your uniform gloves. 

“Good boy,” you purr, and Ace reels from the attention as you lean in to kiss him again.

You meet because you see Deuce going for a run on his first day of school. You don't understand what's happening, and when you ask Malleus, his explanation seems…..lacking. So you decide to ask the human himself why he is running in circles. You poof next to him, scare the shit out of him, and feel only a little bit bad as he falls on his ass.

He immediately picks a fight with you. Who do ya think you are! What kinda uncultured swine picks a fight with a man while he's running? By the time Silver and Sebek find you, (Malleus used you to make his own escape, he'll apologize later) the boy is swinging, and you're laughing so hard your insides hurt.

You start joining him on his runs, not actually running, but floating alongside him, asking him questions. In your mind, if you can understand what he's running from, then you'll understand the human race. (Pun intended)

Meanwhile, Deuce still thinks you're making fun of him, but after about a month of this, he starts to realize that if it really is a bit, then you are very dedicated. So he finally starts actually answering questions, and after a month of that starts asking you his own. Which is when he realizes you are a fae prince. Cool! You should join the track team with him! Even though he's only seen you float, he's heard your brother is a beast, so you'd definitely dominate the competition. And how can you say no to that determined face?

I've said this before, but Deuce will fall in love with his best friend. And he only realizes he's fallen, when, after a meet against RSA, you come up to him ecstatic about how well he did, your eyes glinting with an innocent wonder that even you weren't sure you were capable of anymore. And, suddenly, Deuce is red and sweaty, and side stepping the “bro hug” he taught you. He's able to play it off as after effects of his run, and you still haven't quite gotten the handle on humans, so he's able to get away with it. But he knows his excuses won't work a second time. And the cat’s out of the bag. Now that Deuce recognizes his feelings, it's too late.

Ace is useless as always. So he calls the one person he can always go to.

“So there's this guy I like, but he's out of my league in every single way,” Deuce begins, but his mom quickly cuts him off. “Life is too short to not be with someone you love.” He thinks about cutting her off and mentioning that for this guy's life was far from short, but he got the idea. “You're a good boy, Deuce. You're sweet, handsome, and so protective of those you love. If he thinks you're out of his league, he doesn't deserve you. So you can move on, and find someone who does.”

He knows mama Spade is right. If you don't feel the same way, it's better to find out so that he can move on.

Life works in his favor. You've been proofing into his path to try and hang out with him, and he keeps running away. So the next time you poof in, he gives you a challenge. If you win a race against him, he'll tell you what's wrong. It's no contest. You annihilate him.

Deuce heaves a big breath, channeling delinquent Deuce’s confidence, and blurts out, “I'm in love with you!”

You stare for a moment, then smile wickedly.

“If  you can beat me in a race, child of man, I'll tell you how I feel.”

You're his lab partner. And you don't always show up for class. But your grade is dependent on both of your work. You just give him the potions of the day in passing, and you're both still getting A’s, but it strikes Jack as a wrong that you don't always show up for class.

When he stalks you down one day, in the Diasomnia common room, and demands you go to class, you furrow your brow and tell him you already know all the first year stuff. You'll show up consistently next year. Both Sebek and Malleus are agreeing with you, when Lilia walks in and asks about your friend.

“He's not my friend. He's my lab partner.” Jack's blunt about it, but that never deterred Lilia. Now he's involved. And he loves the idea of you having a friend. Even though Jack's tone made it clear he wanted nothing to do with you. It doesn't take long for Lilia to excitedly say that you would not only have to attend class, but all of your classes were going to be switched so that you were always with Jack. Jack quickly began to recant his statements, saying it was fine, don't worry about it, but it's too late. And Jack is already tired.

Luckily, you don't talk much. You just pout as you follow Jack from class to class. He catches you dozing off in most of the classes, and when he asks you why, you same the same thing as before. You know all of this already.

One day Lilia asks for an update on your progress, and he's very scared to tell him, but he's too honest. Lilia snickers, and tells Jack that you probably already know EVERYTHING YOU COULD POSSIBLY KNOW OVER THE NEXT THREE YEARS. After all, Malleus does. Jack stares at Lilia, suddenly furious that he's been dragged into whatever game the ex general has decided to play with him. And it gets worse, because the next day you're sulking as Lilia drags you to track practice, and informs the coach that you will be joining the track club. And then he tells Jack that he will be the one to catch you up. Neither of you is happy.

But Lilia makes sure you go every single day, and waits until he sees Jack talking to you. So you come up with an idea. You and Jack will pretend to be paramours. You will be the most in love paramours that time has ever seen. You will be so in love, that it will “drive you both to distraction” making both of you worse at your lessons. Which would mean Lilia tries to separate you, and things will go back to normal. Jack hates the idea at first, but after another three days, he decides, fuck it.

If you've been in the fanfiction community long enough, you know this backfires. Lilia just pushes harder, and Jack ends up falling for you. *The crowd gasps* I know, I know, it's such a shock, but we fast forward a couple months to when you tell Jack that this obviously isn't working, you should just call things off. He stares at you, unsure how to respond. He…he doesn't want to. But he slowly nods. What else can he say? You want to stage a nasty break up, which will get Lilia off of your back “for certain”.

You begin the exchange for the break up, during lunch. “We have to end our relationship. I am being stifled with you!” It builds higher and higher as planned, drawing a crowd around you. You reach the climax of your scene, and you turn to storm off, when Jack goes off script.

“Don't go.” It's a soft whisper, like he almost doesn't want you to hear it. But you do, and you freeze. “What was that?” “Don't go.” You turn, and he's looking at you with pleading eyes. The both of you forget the scene, forget everything but the moment. You just stare at each other. Then you smile softly. 

“I am not going anywhere.”

The Draconia family is one known for grace and elegance. So when Vil has had it with Epel's toxic masculinity streak, he literally shoves him into your chest, telling you to fix him. Then he storms off. That's how you and Epel became temporary roommates.

Sebek and Silver had both protested. How could they be sure Epel wasn't an assassin sent to kill you? But Lilia thought this would be good for both of you, you could learn about humans, teaching, and empathy, and Lilia could scratch his dadly itch and train Epel how to use his build to his advantage. It was a win for all!

Those first few days were rough. Epel cares 0% about what some weak princely dude has to teach him. He pays attention to Lilia's lessons, but ignores you. That is until group training day, when he has to spar with you, and you pin him to the ground in two seconds flat. Suddenly, he's taking notes.

“If what my brother says is true, what Schoenheit is trying to teach you, is that elegance is a weapon in itself. It's better if people underestimate you, because that means you'll have the advantage in a fight.” That's how you phrase it. Which is only half true, but hey, Vil isn't around to correct you, and Malleus could never be wrong, right? Whether that's the goal or not, it gets through to Epel, and that's what matters. Both of you are very sad when Vil welcomes him back to Pomefiore, after he's calmed down. But Vil is impressed with the impact you all had on him, so Epel is welcome to visit Diasomnia whenever he has free time.

One day when he comes over, you excitedly bring him to your room, and show him the outfits you have laying out. “I think you would look wonderful in Valley of Thorns attire” you say absentmindedly as you begin holding things up to him, deciding what colors you think would look best. You pick an outfit, then send him to get changed. He has difficulty tying some laces, and arranging jewels and robes. So now you stood behind him, your breath on his neck as you finished off helping him dress. You turn the both of you to the mirror, snap your fingers to change your own clothes, then smile brightly.

“Look how well we compliment each other!” Epel looks at the mirror, then looks at you, then says, “I gotta go.” Then he leaves, outfit still on. Not that you mind, it was meant for him anyway.

Everytime he sees you, he gets an unmanly flutter in his stomach. But he's the very image of cool. Nothing is wrong. His cheeks are not pink. He is not avoiding eye contact. Meanwhile, you're trying to figure out what boundary you crossed, and Lilia clearly knows what's wrong, but refuses to tell you.

So one day, in the middle of a crowd of students trying to get their lunch, you kneel before him, hand to your heart, and give a heartfelt apology that doesn't actually apologize for anything considering you don't know what you did. He stares for a moment, his heart racing, then runs out of the room. Vil nearly has a heart attack.

Epel runs straight into you, since you are able to teleport anywhere, and falls flat on his ass. And then he starts yelling. The conversation goes as follows.

“it’s all your fault!”

“I know, that's why I apologized.”

“Ya don't know nothing!”

“My apology was all encompassing.”

“All yer damn fault!”

“But I did apologize”

This goes on for a while. At some point, he pushes you so that you'll be out of his way so he can run, and, on instinct, you pin him down again. Your brow furrows, and you order him to tell you what's wrong.

“I like ya.” “But aren't you yelling at me?” “Cause I like ya!” “Why are you so angry with me, if you like me?” “Cause yer so damn dense!”

By then, Sebek and Silver have found the two of you, as well as Malleus, and all three are worried that Epel has made an attempt on your life. But once you've hastily cleared everything up, you'll be able to tell Epel if you reciprocate his feelings. Vil and Rook are so proud to raise a son who is dating a prince.

Is he obsessed with Malleus because he can't cope with his crush on you, or does he have a crush on you because he is obsessed with Malleus? The world will never know. But Lilia and Silver are going to use it to their advantage.

He ends up guarding you a lot. They say it's because he is in your classes and therefore he can be your protector. But it's really just so Malleus can get a break when he's starting to feel suffocated. All the other first years make fun of him for tailing you like a puppy, but he can't help it! He has to protect you! Loudly!

Proximity makes the heart fonder, and you really notice your feelings when he has to escort Malleus on a school field trip. You feel…empty. Alone. You spend the next week being mopey, which upsets Sebek. He swears he'll find who did this to you!

He becomes an absolute menace, interrogating anyone who might have come into contact with you while he was gone. Eventually, Lilia confronts you about your behavior.

“It's wrong for a prince to let some hurt feelings affect the way you treat your subjects.”

“It's not like they're actually my subjects. Malleus is the only one who matters-”

Lilia already had his suspicions, but this just confirms it. He calls you out on your jealousy over Malleus and Sebek spending time together, which you initially deny. But the harder he pushes, the more you relent. You're so used to Sebek in your life, that his absence hurt. You…you love him.

But you're certain he can't love you. Still, you agree to tell him you are okay so he can stop harassing random students. Lilia urges you to share your true feelings, claiming Sebek feels the same. But how can he? You see the way he treats Malleus. You've heard how he speaks about him. That's love. It has to be! 

Once you tell Sebek that no one hurt you, you just were in a mood, he calms down. He gives you a whole speech about how he'd never forgive himself if you got hurt when he was away. It would bring shame to his glorious king! And it just makes everything hurt worse.

And now you're pouty again. You may not be as powerful as your brother (Sebek speaks of your brother's power constantly) but you're still very strong. Your emotions, the worse they get, make the weather stormy. So now, not only are you mopey, and Sebek is harassing students, but the weather is absolutely awful. Lilia, again, pulls you to the side and gives you a much sterner talk, you tell Sebek you're fine, he says something something Malleus something something perfect king, and you're pouting again. 

Eventually, Lilia has had enough. With Malleus and your grandmother's permission (that's how you know you're in trouble) he sits both you and Sebek down for a chat. You get your lecture first. You are a Prince. You are expected to rise above foolish emotions, in order to better serve the people. When a Prince's actions begin to negatively affect their people, they no longer deserve their power.

Sebek stands up in a fury! He's shouting at Lilia (something you've never seen before), defending your honor. Surely whatever has upset you is not your fault! It's his for not slaying whatever pesky human tried to hurt you! In fact-! He's drawing his sword and preparing to storm out of the room when Lilia sternly tells him to sit down. He's getting a lecture as well. The idea of being lectured seems to soothe Sebek, though he still grumbles about how you were being wrongfully detained.

Then Lilia begins Sebek’s lecture. And it's not what you were expecting.

“I have told you many times that you need to be clear about how you feel about people.”

“I FREQUENTLY SHOW MY AWE AND HONOR FOR BOTH MY PRINCES!”

“A true knight doesn't shy away from his feelings. He understands that existence is fleeting, and that the one he loves may not be there to love tomorrow.”

You're confused. But Sebek is standing there red faced and speechless. He simply says Lilia 's name, and Lilia seems to understand. He leaves, and Sebek turns to you, kneeling low and bowing his head.

“Long have my feelings for you been stronger than that of a knight and his charge. But as I am unworthy of my Lord's affections, I have been loath to share them. But General Lilia is correct. There may not be a tomorrow. So I can no longer hide my love for you. I ask for nothing, only that I remain by your side, and continue to worship you.”

His head remains bowed, and, for the first time in many many years, you find yourself caught off guard. The man you have found yourself pining for for quite some time is kneeling before you and offering his heart. You slip a finger below his chin, raising his gaze to meet yours. His eyes betray his nervousness, but your soft lovesick smile eases his soul, as you tell him just how much the feeling is returned.

#twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x male reader #male reader #ace trappola #ace trappola x reader #deuce spade x reader #deuce spade #jack howl #jack howl x reader #epel felmier x reader #epel felmier #sebek zigvolt x reader #sebek zigvolt

[koolades-world]

Can I request headcannons of MC getting in a fight with Solomon and Simeon (separately) about something pretty big and how MC (or Solomon/Simeon depending on the reason for the fight) makes up for it/apologizes? I just need some good old angst to fluff man.

Thank you and your writing is amazing!

hi! of course :)

the solomon one was def a lot more serious that the simeon one just because i couldn't think of much that mc and him would get into a serious fight about haha (this only thing i could think of was mc confronting him about his choices that led to him becoming humans and that needs it's own piece for sure)

i kinda deviated from the prompt as a wrote, so sorry about that haha. that happens sometimes as i write. the solomon one is much more on prompt

enjoy <3

Mc gets into a fight w/ Simeon and Solomon (separately)

Simeon

you get jealous that he's been spending so much time with the members of the school's art club

that in itself isn't the problem and you're glad he's getting out there more with something he doesn't normally do, it's just that you can tell that two other members in specific are very into him

they inserted themselves into your relationship and specifically tried to upset you, which cause you to blowup at them

"So, what time are you going to be home?" You pinched your D.D.D. between your shoulder and your ear as you got together the ingredients for dinner that night, since it was your turn to cook.

"In about an hour. Art club will take a little longer today. We're finishing our paintings. I hope you'll like it." The melodious voice of your boyfriend, Simeon, was piped into your ear.

"I'm sure it'll be amazing. If you're going to be late for dinner, let me know. I'll set aside a portion for you." You smiled at the nervousness you heard in his voice.

"Alright. I'll talk with you later then. Love you, Mc." Simeon said.

""Love you too. Stay safe." You put the phone down, and went back to preparing dinner. After you were done, you left it on the stove on keep warm and went off to get some homework done. Eventually, dinner time had rolled around, and still nothing from Simeon. You assumed everything was as normal, so you called your other housemates to dinner.

"Thank you Mc." Luke sat down at the table with his plate.

"Let me know what you think! I tried a modified recipe today." Before Solomon could speak up, the front door finally opened. You got up to greet who you presumed was just Simeon, but there were three people in the doorway.

"I'm home. Hope you don't mind I brought a few guests." Simeon stepped aside to fully reveal his two companions. You recognized them as two other members of the art club, an incubus and a succubus. They really liked Simeon, which wasn't wrong, but they liked him too much. They knew he was currently in a relationship, but that didn't seem to stop them.

The rest of what happened was somewhat of a blur. You vaguely remembered getting progressively more upset at the two newcomers, until eventually, you stood up from the dinner table and went upstairs to your room.

"Mc? I know you're in there." Simeon knocked on the locked door. you didn't answer him. "I'm sorry for bringing them home. I didn't know they'd say that to you. You can blame me all you want." Instantly, you felt bad for unconsciously pinning the blame on him. He had such an alluring personality, so it wasn't really his fault that everyone liked him.

"It's not your fault." You opened the door, and pulled him into the hug. "They were trying to get a rise out of me, and I took the bait. It was a result of pent up feelings I should've share before. I'm sorry."

Simeon sighed and patted your back. "No need to apologize. It's normal to be jealous. I could have done better and asked, but the past is in the past, isn't it?" He took a step back and picked something up that was leaning against the wall. "This is for you. I'd wanted to prepare some of your favorite cookies to go along with it, but I thought now might be a good time to give it to you." In his hands was a portrait of you.

"Simeon! This is beautiful. Thank you!" You hugged him again.

"I'm glad you like it." Simeon moved to set it down, but you stopped him.

"Let's hang it up right now. I have the perfect spot." Simeon was glad to have been graced with seeing your beautiful smile once more.

Solomon

the two of you get into a fight about his tendency to hole up in his room for days at a time

he says he's doing important experiments but you just want to spend time with him

when he does leave his room, it's a weird hours and it's at one of these times that you happen to run into him

"Sol." You held up your D.D.D.'s flashlight. In front of you was your boyfriend, looking like he hadn't slept in at least a few days. The situation might had been funny if you weren't so upset with him. He froze in the beam, looking like a deer in headlights.

"Mc, my love, my joy, my sunshine. What are you doing up this late?" He chuckled nervously, trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes.

"I could ask you the same thing." You stared at each other in silence. "Babe, it's been three days since I last saw you." He smiled at you sheepishly.

"I've been doing important work." The response he came up with was lackluster.

"What could be more important than your significant other?" You sighed, lowering the flashlight. Solomon didn't respond. "Our anniversary was yesterday. You promised to take me out to dinner. I waited and waited, and even knocked on your door, but you told me you'd be out soon. You never came out." Tears began to well up in your eyes despite promising yourself you wouldn't cry. As the realization hit him, Solomon began to move towards you to comfort you, but you took a few large steps backward.

"My work really is important, but let me make it up to you. We can go out tomorrow morning for brunch, or whatever you'd like." He kept trying to move towards you, but stopped once he realized you didn't want him to close the distance.

"Maybe. I don't know. My feelings are hurt is all. I got dressed up and even had a present ready. I left it outside your door, not that you noticed." You wiped the tears away with your sleeve.

"I made a real breakthrough in my research, if that helps." Solomon suddenly looked much more awake.

"It doesn't. At all. I only wanted one thing from you, but somehow you've managed to avoid it at every turn. I admire your passions, really, I do. But sometimes, I feel like that's the only thing you care about." You turned around, and ran out of the room, taking the only source of light with you.

"Wait! Mc, come back!" Solomon promptly ran headfirst into the door you'd just slammed shut, leaving him alone in the dark, and upset himself.

The next day, he showed up at the HoL, bouquet of flowers in hand. He hesitated for a moment, but knocked. Unfortunately, Satan greeted him. He looked mostly collected, but that didn't stop him from being nervous.

"Hello." Solomon smiled at him.

"I presume those flowers aren't for me." Satan raised an eyebrow.

"Haha, no. They're for..." Your name died on his tongue when he saw you in the background. Your eyes were rimmed red and you had messy hair, but you looked rested. When the two of you made eye contact, you froze.

"Mc, I'm sorry." He held out the flowers to you over Satan's shoulder. He rolled his eyes and stepped a little out of the way. Far enough to give him room, but close enough to force him back outside if needed. You burst into another round of tears, and before Belphie, who was next to you, could grab you, you ran towards him and hugged him tightly.

"That's all I wanted to hear yesterday." Solomon held you close with his free hand.

"I'm sorry for making you think my research was more important that you, I'm sorry for forgetting our anniversary, and I'm sorry for not communicating better." He extended the flowers to you again once you stepped back.

"Thank you. You remembered my favorites." You took them, and gave them a quick whiff.

"Is it too forthcoming of me to ask if you're still up for brunch?" Solomon chuckled.

"No. I'd love that. Just let me get changed." You handed the flowers back to him temporarily to run back inside to get out of your pajamas. Satan had left at some point, but Asmo had found his way into his place.

"Sol. I love you, but if you ever try that again, I think I'll have to put your heart on a spike in the RAD courtyard." Asmo giggled. That was the second time he'd heard his usually endearing nickname spoken in such a threatening way in the past day.

"Noted." Just the reminder he needed never to piss off his s/o or Asmo ever again.

#obey me #obey me! #obey me x reader #obey me asmo #obey me satan #obey me simeon #obey me solomon #omswd #obey me shall we date #obey me! shall we date #obey me! shall we date?

[writingattemptsxx]

A Small Gift

To get the brothers to let you go to the human world to do some exchange program work, you promised them gifts.

—

This took way too long to write. I'm just glad it's done. I thought some fluff would be nice.

—

A month-long visit to the human world took you away from the brothers. At first, they didn’t like the idea. Some used the excuse of not wanting you to be somewhere without supervision. Some were honest that they didn’t want to be away from you. Luckily with assurance that you would be fine, as well as a bribe of gifts on your return, they relented. You went out and gathered a gift for each brother, hoping they’d love it. You even bought a few gift bags. You did hope they liked it, but you more hoped they’d be less trouble on future trips.

Lucifer - A snow globe - Lucifer’s gift was the first one you found. You went into a gift shop, saw it, and it screamed ‘Lucifer’. Why? Who knows!

Mammon - A key chain - Mammon is usually one of, if not the first to complain about not being with you. Now he can have this with him at all times. Also, it's shiny.

Leviathan - A pack of pencils - You went into a stationary store realizing you were missing something, and they just happened to have a pack of pencils themed around an anime he likes, so you grabbed those too.

Satan - A bookmark - In the stationary store where you found Levi’s gift, there was another thing that caught your eye. There was a small bookmark with cat faces all over it and a fold-out bit to save your specific line.

Asmo - A makeup brush set - Another gift you were actively searching for, and it was pure pink, his favorite color. What’s not to love? It may not be those expensive ones he always buys, but it definitely wasn't cheap.

Beelzebub - A water bottle - Your first thought for him was food, obviously, but you didn't want something the Avatar of Gluttony would scarf down in two seconds. Plus with a water bottle, he can bring it to the gym and his practices.

Belphegor - A blanket - A perfect gift for Belphie. Knowing him, he'd keep it in good condition for centuries. It may only be a blanket, and on the cheaper side at that, but it was comfy.

While you were on your trip you hoped to relax at home, but you forgot something. Something you remembered the second the door opened. There was no relaxing in the House of Lamentation. Ever.

It was very obvious that they were all ecstatic to see you again, but you could tell at least a part of each of them wanted to know their gifts. What did you get them? Where were they? When do they get them? They were way too easy to read.

You told everyone to buzz off while you at least got unpacked. You needed to relax, not be mobbed. You'd give them their gift later, once you settled back in. As you watched each go on and do their own thing, you couldn't help but hope they liked their gift.

—

Lucifer was doing his typical work. Sitting at his desk behind mountains of paper wasn't new, but it still was not the best experience. He saw the door slowly open and started to wonder which brother wanted to get in the way of his work, but instead, you came through the door. You tried your best to be as quiet as possible when coming in and closing the door, which Lucifer greatly appreciated.

Once the door clicked you turned to him beaming. “Luci, I got this for you!” You held up a decently sized blue gift bag, careful to not shake.

“Your gift for me? I was wondering when I'd finally receive it. I hope it’s something I like, you should know me well enough by now.” A smirk appeared as his words poked at you.

Your face changed into a pout and you stuck your tongue out at Lucifer. A bold move, no matter how close you became. You dramatically sighed and put the back of your hand to your forehead, something you no doubt learned from Asmodeus. “I got you this out of the kindness of my heart. You can't be picky about this.” You walked forward and gently placed the bag on his desk.

“We both know it was a bribe so my brothers would let you out of the house.” He, himself, argued against you leaving but now didn't seem like the time to bring that up. “Also teasing you is too fun to stop.”

Lucifer pulled the bag closer and carefully removed some crumpled paper you stuffed in the bag. He reached in and pulled out… “A snow globe?” It seemed like an odd choice gift for him. Granted, it was very pretty. It was a single, yet very detailed tree sitting in the middle of a white plain with the snow of the snow globe also inside. The base was a vibrant admiral blue.

He looked up to you for answers, but you only shrugged in response. “It’s just something I saw that reminded me of you. Don't ask me why.”

Lucifer was silent for a moment only to change into quiet giggles. “Thank you. I love it.”

—

Mammon was pacing his room. You just came home after so long and he had to leave you alone for even longer. He is happy you get to relax, even in this house, but he just wants to hug you before leaving you be again.

Suddenly he heard the door open and whipped his head around to see you. Not only that, you were holding a very small yellow gift bag. Both his eyes and voice lit up seeing you. “Human!” He cleared his throat. “What took you so long?”

“I had to get your gift ready. That is, unless you don't want it.” You held up the bag and gave it a small shake all the while showing a teasing smirk.

The next thing you knew the bag was missing from your hands and found in Mammon’s. “Nah, Nah. The Great Mammon always deserves gifts.” He dug through the crumpled paper and pulled out a small keychain. It was very small, just a shiny gold keychain with a dangling star. He couldn't tell why, but he felt so light seeing it. He just stared at it for what felt like forever.

Suddenly your voice cut through his thoughts. “So… you like it?”

“This gift is definitely worthy of The Great Mammon.”

—

Levi was shockingly out of his room. He was going to go on an anime binge in a bit, so now he was stocking up on snacks. Chips, snack bars, bag popcorn, and anything he could get his hands on that wouldn’t spoil.

“There you are! I thought you’d be in your room as always.” Your voice was quiet but came very suddenly, and it took everything in him to not jump.

He turned around to see you holding up a pretty small orange gift bag as you looked around. You dropped the bag in his hands. Levi stared at it for a few seconds before looking back up at you. “A gift? Also, what's with the house inspections?” He pointed in the directions you were looking between.

“Yes, I said I'd get you all gifts, didn't I? And because I’m not willing to hear the wining of any brother upset they didn't get theirs first.”

Levi shrugged. He wouldn't put it past any of his brothers to take not getting a gift first as something to get upset over. He wouldn't even put it past himself to do that. “Yeah, they totally would. But the gift was a very obvious bribe. I didn't expect you to mean it. I thought you'd at least forget or something, or at least not give me something.”

“Of course, I'd get you something. Now come on, open it.” You were all but bouncing on your toes while staring at him and the bag. He dug through the crumpled paper in the bag to pull out a pack of pencils. Seemed like an odd choice for him, maybe something closer to something for Satan or Lucifer. It was only until he noticed the pencils were patterned with characters from an anime he loved.

His eyes lit up and just barely held in an excited squee. Any merch is welcome merch. Levi shot up and pulled you into a hug. “Thank you!”

—

Satan was reading in the living room. He was reading a book he’d read many times before. He intended to read the book he bought a few days ago, but after starting it he realized his mind kept drifting to you. He was curious how you were, and he wanted to check up on you, but he knew you needed some time to relax before interacting with him or his brothers again.

He started to hear steps that got louder and louder. Eventually, you appeared as the source looking around corners before you turned them. Satan also noticed an extremely small green gift bag in your hand. You held it to your chest as you quickly walked towards him.

“What with the secrecy?” Satan put down his book to give you an amused stare.

You dropped the gift bag on his lap. “Your brothers. That's what. If any of them, even one, learned that I gave one a present before another, I'd never heard the end of it.”

That was completely true for almost everyone in this house. He just let out a sigh and decided to move on. Carefully rifling through the crumpled paper he pulled out a long bookmark. The bookmark was a dark fern-green and littered with cat faces of all colors. There was also a long plastic connection, and on the packaging, it explained that it was meant to save your specific line.

It was just adorable and all the cats making different smiles made his heart melt. Satan held it to his heart and gave you a big smile. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

—

Asmo was looking his face over in the mirror. He wanted to go out today. But for that, he needed the perfect look that would be perfect in completing his looks. But for that, he needed inspiration. Truth be told, he could go out with no makeup at all, he was already gorgeous, but putting it on was fun.

While he was mulling over his choices, he heard his door slam closed. He turned around, immediately turning into his demon form, ready for a fight.

Instead of seeing an intruder or even one of his brothers, he saw you muttering to yourself about how you didn't mean to be that loud, and that you even scared yourself. He clutched his chest, transformed back, and slumped back down onto his vanity chair.

“Darling, you gave me a heart attack. I thought you were an intruder or similar. My skin will not like this stress.”

You bolted around at his words, as if shocked to see him in his own room. “Sorry! Sorry. I just wanted to close it fast, not slam it. On another note, I got you this.” You held up a small pink gift bag, giving Asmo a big smile.

The gift! He didn't forget about it, how could he forget about a gift for him, but he did push it to the back of his mind to focus on other things. He rushed right up to you, enveloping you in a tight hug. He let go and took you over to his vanity. He gently took the present from your hands. He removed the crumpled paper, dropping it into the trashcan.

At the bottom of the bag was a small set of a few pastel pink makeup brushes and a blender. It was small, but it seemed of good quality. The thought put into the gift melted his heart. Gently setting the brush set down, Asmo pulled you into another tight hug. “Thank you! Also, you just gave me the perfect inspiration for a new makeup look!”

—

Beelzebub was working out in his room. All he had were a few handheld weights. He wanted to go to the gym, but he couldn't find any will to actually go. He wanted more to make sure you settled back in as well as possible.

He was mid-routine when you quickly opened his door, stepped through, and closed it, careful not to slam.

“Hey Beel, got you something.” You quickly walked over to him and placed a pretty big red gift bag in his hands. Inside it was stuffed full of crumpled paper. He dug around for only a second before his hand touched hard plastic and he pulled it up. It was a giant red gallon water bottle. The plastic was translucent, there were measurements on the side, and the side was even carved out to make a handle.

“I thought you could bring it to the gym or practi-” Before you could finish, Beel pulled you into a massive bear hug that lifted you off the ground.

“Thank you! I love it!” He gave you one of the biggest smiles he could.

—

Belphie was sleeping as usual. He was in the observatory. All the stars were calming and the room was usually silent and dark. It was his perfect nap spot. Well, it was until about a minute ago when someone started shaking him awake. “Belphie. Belphie. Wake up I got something for you.”

He let out a groan and grabbed the hand you decided to disturb him with. “Can’t it wait? Just put it down next to me or something. I'll pick it up when I get up.” Belphie rolled onto his back and fell back asleep within seconds, but he only slept just as quickly as a big gift bag was roughly placed on his stomach.

“Rude.” He opened his eyes to see a really big purple gift bag and pulled it down so the top faced him instead of getting up. He slowly dug out all of the crumpled paper, dropping it on the floor to deal with later.

After a few seconds, he pulled out a folded blanket. It was a cow pattern, similar to his favorite pillow, and it was super fluffy and soft. Just touching it made him sleepy.

“Like it?” Belphie just looked at you for a few seconds, contemplating if he should pull you into his nap. Eventually, he decided and tugged you down next to him, covering you both with his new blanket, and drifted back to sleep in another few seconds.

—

Lucifer’s snow globe was kept either on his desk or on a shelf. He found comfort in even just staring at it, but every now and then he shook it to see the snowfall.

Mammon’s keychain was a permanent fixture on his phone. He took it everywhere and showed it off at any chance he could.

Levi kept his pencils in package with his other merch, not wanting to ruin them, but they were always near the front of any display he made.

Satan used his bookmark for any book he could. He adored it and kept it as pristine as possible.

Asmo started using his new brushes almost instantly. Even if they were not the fancy brands he typically uses, they worked just as well. The fact it was from you also helped inspire some looks.

Beel took his water bottle practically wherever he went. When anyone pointed it out or asked questions, he'd happily gush about his new gift.

Belphie’s new blanket became his favorite one. Even just touching the fuzziness made him cozy and tired. He did everything in his power to keep as soft as the day he got it.

#writing blog #writing #obey me #finished #fluff #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me belphegor #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub

[danieyells]

hi there,

thank you so much for all the voicelines you post !! if it’s okay, can i request subaru’s ?

thank you again !

You're welcome! At some point I might go back and put in the ones I leave out because they don't appeal to me as much lol but since i always end up posting 99% of them anyway I think it's enough for most people hahaha.

I WAS GONNA OMIT ONE OR TWO BECAUSE OF SPOILERS but eh i'll just warm for like. extra spoilers. since after doing more code peeking it wasn't the spoiler i thought it was. SUBARU IS A SWEETIE THOUGH. I also read Subaru's chats which were put in the code recently and. Man this guy needs anxiety meds. I have a small guess as to what his stigma is, but we'll learn in a few days anyway.

You've Got Mail:

"It looks like there's a notice for you. I'd be happy to go pick it up for you if you've got your hands full. Oh, forgive me if I'm overstepping."

oh no he's anxious about helping--

Default(no affinity):

"I really am so lucky to be surrounded by so many kind people like you."

"I never thought I'd get the chance to enjoy the lifestyle of a student until I came to Darkwick. Every day truly is fulfilling here."

it feels like subaru is like. . .the only one who actually enjoys school life here. . .or who really enjoys being here period lmao. . . .

"You think I'm always smiling? Ha ha, I hear that a lot. It just happens when I'm around all of you."

"I may be the captain, but it's just in name. I think Haku is much better suited for the job than me."

"I've been working since I was four, so people often said I was mature for my age. But the truth is, I've still got a lot to learn."

that makes two characters whose parents have essentially been keeping them from normal life and normal childhood for work reasons since they were four year olds. . . .

Affinity 1:

"I tend to just have hot water for breakfast. I know it would be better for me to eat a proper meal, but it's just so much effort."

DO WE REALLY HAVE TO START WITH "I NEED THE GHOULS TO EAT PROPER FUCKIN MEALS". . . .

Affinity 2:

"I'm sorry I'm so late. The campus is so crowded I can never manage to walk in a straight line, so it always takes me longer than I think. Silly, isn't it?"

baby you're hardly the first person i've met with anxiety about crowds. you're fine.

Affinity 3:

"What would I do without Haku's help? Hotarubi would be a mess without him."

Affinity 6:

"Ever since I was a child, the performing arts were my only focus. Maybe that's why people always say my mannerisms are so peculiar. It bothers you too, doesn't it?"

poor boy doesn't know how to act if he isn't acting. . .he doesn't know how to exist off-script. . .no wonder he made a deal with a demon. it's probably the first thing he's ever done for himself.

Affinity 7:

"I'd like to go to the cafeteria, but the line is always so long. I feel bad taking time to choose while people are waiting behind me. The bar of entry feels a little high."

i am once again suggesting subaru get anxiety meds. hell go to sinnostra and get some weed, i bet they sell that. i hear it can help.

Affinity 8:

"I'm just about to go and meet a friend. I hate to inconvenience you like this, but if it's something urgent, could you speak to Haku about it instead?"

Affinity 9:

"What am I going to do? We're supposed to be meeting up in an hour... If I cancel now, they'll hate me..."

Affinity 10:

"Whew... I'll walk you back to your house, FirstName. Oh, it's no problem at all, I assure you! I wanted some fresh air anyway."

Affinity 11:

"I have an Anomalous Ecology test coming up. It's such a fascinating subject, I couldn't help but stay up all night studying. Now I'm a little sleep-deprived."

Affinity 12:

"I'm going to stretch my legs a little. I might not have a show to practice for right now, but I need to keep putting myself through my paces. I'll get rusty otherwise."

Affinity 13:

"I'm sorry my phone's been making so much noise. I recently downloaded an app by mistake, and it won't stop sending me notifications..."

awww he's also technologically incompetent. . .poor guy was probably raised with such a heavy focus on his career he just. never needed a smartphone. anyone he needed to contact or who needed to contact him was probably always very close by. it sounds like he didn't even properly go to school before going to Darkwick. Somebody please take this boy on a walk. like anywhere. take him to a library. buy him a churro. can sho make churros? this is somebody who's never had any sort of normal social experience and sees how different he is and wishes it weren't the case, unlike Ritsu who assumes everyone else is like him, i think he'd like to have some more Experiences.

Affinity 14:

"... ...Oh! Hello, FirstName—I didn't even notice you there. My mind was somewhere else."

Affinity 15:

"Good morning! Sorry? My hair's messy? You're right, it's sticking right up at the front... That's embarrassing. I'll fix it right away."

Affinity 16:

"I usually have lunch in the dormitory. I do eat on the terrace with Lyca every now and then, but he seems so busy these days..."

Lyca is one of the members of Obscuary, btw! Seems like he and Subaru are friends.

Affinity 17:

"I didn't take you for a night owl, FirstName. Since you're here, I suppose I'll stay up a little longer. You're sure you're okay? You're not sleepy?"

Affinity 18:

"Do you visit Sinostra very often, {PC}? I see... Oh, no reason. I was just making conversation. Ha ha."

why do you ask that. . .a certain mafioso captain wouldn't happen to be suspicious of you would he. . .or maybe you owe them money. . .or maybe you used to be part of Sinostra and moved to Hotarubi. . . .

Affinity 20:

"Oh, I couldn't ask you to come all the way to my room to wake me up—I'd feel terrible. I do very much appreciate the thought, though."

it's okay buddy jin already makes them do it, one more pit stop won't hurt.

Affinity 22:

"Lyca has seen my message, so why hasn't he responded to it? I hope nothing bad has happened to him..."

Affinity 23:

"Lyca will adapt well to human society, I'm sure of it. I'm so relieved that Darkwick chose to trust him. I can't thank you enough for your help."

he really likes Lyca huh? that is his dog.

Affinity 24:

"You can't sleep? Then let me tell you some stories. Legend has it that evil spirits appear once you've told a hundred. Now, what number was I up to..."

BOY IS TRYNA GET YOUR ASS HAUNTED.

Affinity 25(max):

"I don't want to seem like I'm testing you, I just... I get really anxious sometimes... I'm sorry. I'm being weird, aren't I?"

he's the type to ask 'are you sure you love me? are you sure you wanna be with me?' after you get married and move in together and own a house and have two kids with another on the way. he's the hyper anxious 'i'm sorry we disagreed about our favorite colors do you hate me?' friend(affectionate)

Spring:

"There is no time like spring. Everyone seems more relaxed this time of year. It's reassuring to see."

"They have no control over whether they bloom, and yet they get made a spectacle of nonetheless... Oh, sorry—I was talking about the cherry blossoms."

"There are many different flowers growing in Hotarubi, but I think the wisteria are my favorites. This is the best time to see them, so you should take a walk around."

Summer:

"Hot today, isn't it? It's always raining in Hotarubi, so it does provide a little escape from the blazing summer sun, but... Ha ha. It is very humid, isn't it?"

"Summer makes me think of the ghost story Yotsuya Kaidan. The scene where Oiwa becomes hysterical, having realized her her face has been disfigured— incredible."

Yotsuya Kaidan is one of the best known japanese ghost stories! It's extremely violent, so read the summary at your discretion. The scene in question has Oiwa shown her reflection by her sister's boss to see that the cream she was given by a woman who was in love with her husband was actually some sort of poison that instantly scarred her face. She grabs a sword and goes to kill her, only for her to accidentally slit her own throat.

"Hotarubi House holds regular festivals during the summer months. If you need a yukata to wear, I'd be happy to pick one out for you."

"I don't mind scary stories, but when that biwa in the tea room started playing by itself, it did make me jump a little..."

slight spoiler, although you can probably figure it out from this but. . .Zenji is a ghost. Subaru currently can't actually see him or hear his voice. . .only Haku, the pc, and, perhaps not so oddly, Towa can afair. All of his youtube content doesn't have him or his voice in it because he can't be recorded by cameras. So Subaru doesn't realize that the biwa playing on its own is actually Zenji playing the biwa.

Autumn:

"The air has gotten crisper, and the leaves are changing color. I know it's only natural for the seasons to shift, so why does it make my heart ache so much?"

"Oh, these? They're some chestnuts I found. I know—I should give them to Sho. I'm sure he'll be able to make something delicious with them."

"That's another kuchikiri tea ceremony under my belt. It's an annual tradition where one cuts open a tea jar to reveal the tea that was preserved from the first harvest."

Winter:

"...Oh, FirstName. Good morning... I had a hard time getting up today. It must be the cold... Ha ha. Not very captain-like, is it?"

"Today, I'm going to order ingredients from one of my favorite stores so we can all make negima—tuna and scallion—hot pot together. Please, do join us."

"People say winter makes you want to snuggle up with someone, but I find that a good blanket does a much better job."

i agree that blankets are much easier to manage than people lol. probably warmer too.

His birthday:

"A present? For me? Thank you... I didn't expect you to do anything for my birthday, so I'm a little caught off guard. I really appreciate it."

New Years:

"Happy New Year. I hope I can depend on your guidance and support again this year."

Valentine's Day:

"Chocolate? Oh, It's Valentine's Day, isn't it? Does that mean these are for me...?"

nah i just wanted you to look at them. YES THEY ARE FOR YOU BBY. why would you be showing him chocolate if it wasn't for him! On any day, not just valentine's day!!

White Day:

"These are for you, FirstName. I put in a special order for monaka from my favorite confectioner in Ginza. They're wafers filled with bean jam—I hope you like them."

April Fool's Day:

"Earlier, Haku told me he was switching houses. It gave me a real shock— I'm very relieved that it wasn't true..."

i bet subaru made the most scared kicked puppy face and started apologizing for being such an awful captain and blamed himself for that haku would go to a different house and haku had to quickly explain it was just a prank for fear that subaru might burst into tears.

Halloween:

"Happy Halloween. I know it's nothing special, but I've prepared some treats for the occasion. Oh... But you're more than welcome to play a trick instead."

please don't trick him. april fool's day was hard enough for him.

Christmas:

"Merry Christmas. We already have our New Year decorations up in Hotarubi, so it has a real east-meets-west atmosphere now. I hope everyone is okay with it..."

Idle:

"Everyone seems busy at the moment. Maybe I should use this opportunity to tidy the garden..."

"{PC}? Oh... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you. I was just worried because you were so quiet..."

Absent:

"You're back... I'm so relieved. I was worried I'd done something to make you feel uncomfortable..."

this man shakes like a chihuahua 24/7. like you can taste the anxiety coming off of him. i love him. he's so pathetic(affectionate). i wanna squeeze his hand reassuringly and tell him everything's gonna be okay. i wanna hug him and pat his head. i wanna take him places so he learns more about the world outside of working. i wanna watch him do schoolwork excitedly because he's never really gone to school before and it's a new and exciting experience. i want him to experience the most mundane aspects of life with wonder.

good boy. yeah. get him anxiety meds /nodnod

#subaru kagami #tokyo debunker #danie yells at tokyo debunker #danie yells answers #danie yells with anons #tokyo debunker spoilers #datamining cw #OKAY TIME FOR BED WHEW

[seishironagi2]

A Love Across Eras

A/n:ok, guys, I'm back for part 2 🤪 I can't believe you guys actually want more. anyway here is the link to part one if you haven't read it already. It took me too long to figure out how to link something that was embrassing💀

part one

James Sirius Potter x muggleborn!reader

word count: 774 words

"James how did you manage to send us 43 years back in time, instead of three!" you hiss at the boy while flicking his forehead. "you have to now figure out how to get us home ya big dumbass," you say rolling your eyes.

"uhm, there's more." Albus continues, his eyes never leaving the time turner as he fiddles with it. "it looks like this thing is gone. so we need to fix it first." he says pocketing the now broken time turner

James stands up and runs his hand through his dark brown hair, the stress on his evident when he takes a seat on the sofa, the remaining following sut when they sit on the chair beside them

"I have an idea, but it's gonna be risky." james says as he looks at you and Albus.

"What if we ask Uncle Remus to help?" he continues, "he's smart, and out of any of their group, he'd be the one to help us." he says as he scans our faces, looking for our reactions to his plan

"it is possible, but how are we going to convince him to help us, we're just strangers to him. I doubt if we say, 'We're 43 years from the future, and you're the father of our uncle, he'll for sure help us then'." Albus says sarcastically as he leans his head on my shoulder, tired from the travel while his eyes slowly close.

"hmm, what if we instead say We're three years from the future? and the turner stopped working, we could possibly convince him then?" I say as I grab the blanket, covering Albus while he sleeps

after first getting together with James, you made an active effort to get as close to his family as you could, hoping to fit in with them, and you did. all of his cousins and siblings consider you as a part of the family while James' parents made you call them mom and dad. Albus and Lily both considered you James' better half and were closer to you than they were to James.

"How about this - we'll very obviously have to change our name. so, James, your last name is now Walker. I'll keep my name since I'm a muggle-born and Al? your name is Alfred Walker." You say, tapping the boy softly as he hums in response.

"The real and harder question is. where do we sleep and like live? " You say as you bite your nails –a habit you picked up when you were stressed or deep in thought– James' hand grabs yours and holds it, occasionally rubbing his thumb over your hand in a comforting manner.

"Maybe the room of requirement?" he says, looking over at you.

"Remember the spell I was working on with your dad? I could probably use that, but I'd need an unused or empty room, which people wouldn't use much." you say as you look around, hoping to find an empty room

"Oh right, what even was that spell for," James asks, his hand now gently squeezing yours, trying to end those thoughts running around your mind.

"Well, that spell allowed me to make an exact copy of my house and have it with me wherever I go. I know it seems useless in retrospect, but considering who my boyfriend is. it's good to have on hand." you say, smiling with a teasing tone in my voice,grabbing his hand and kissing it.

James smirks and starts to respond when the painting of the common room suddenly slams open, causing Albus to flinch and sit up. a group of four boys enters, following a girl who seems to be angry

"Lily, it was just a joke." says the boy with the glasses as he follows her aimlessly while the rest of the boys make their way to the sofa when they spot you three.

"Who are you guys." the one with the scar says, crossing his arms around his chest as he scans you all, trying to figure out if he's seen you before

well,this is going to be harder then you guys thought.

chap two is done! I hope u guys liked it and more chapters coming out soon :) again, if you have any suggestions or tips for me, please do tell as I want to be good at this :) also I need series name ideas!!

#albus severus potter #harry potter #james potter #james sirius potter #lily evans #remus lupin #sirius black #arthur weasley #molly weasley #percy weasley #james sirius potter being stupid #cursed child #marauders era #teddy lupin #lily luna potter #rose granger weasley #hugo granger weasley

[scaramoosy]

Late night texting with your ex-boyfriend is never a good idea, but I went ahead anyway. With a sigh, I sent him a 'hi' and anxiously awaited his response. You're probably wondering about this guy. Satoru Gojo, my ex-boyfriend, is more gorgeous than the Greek gods, with bright blue eyes, snow-white hair, a 6'3" muscular frame, and veiny arms.

It was 3 AM, and I had no clue why ! texted him after three months apart.

Maybe I just missed his presence. We didn't break up because of cheating; it was more complicated than that. I nervously chewed my lip, knowing he was awake-he never slept, always staying up to protect me. I shuddered at the thought of him protecting someone else now. When my phone finally dinged, it was Gojo with a simple

'hi.'

We exchanged texts:

Me: Why are you up?

Gojo: I can ask you the same thing too, y'know?

Me: I couldn't sleep.

Gojo: Really? Maybe we should do something about that then.

Me: Are you with someone?

I didn't know why I asked that.

Jealousy, maybe? The thought of him with someone else churned my insides.

Gojo: No, why do you ask?

Me: Just wanted to make sure I'm not disturbing you.

Goio: You know vuu can never disturb me, love.

There it was-the nickname he used when we were together. I sighed, then another message came in.

Gojo: You said you can't sleep. I have an idea.

Me: Enlighten me.

Gojo: Take off your shirt.

I widened my eyes at his response.

Why would he want that?

Me: What? Why?

Gojo: Be a good girl and do what I say without questioning me.

I hated how much control he still had over me, but I did as he said, now bare from the waist up.

Me: ...I did

Gojo: Always so obedient. My sweet little princess.

I blushed and clenched my thighs together. What has this man done to me?

Gojo: What happened princess? Cat got your tongue?

Me: No, I just didn't expect you to reply to me that way.

Gojo: What way, princess? I didn't say anything out of ordinary.

I could feel his smug smirk through the screen.

Me: Shut up.

Gojo: Now that's not a nice way to talk to someone. Keep in mind that actions have consequences, princess.

I smirked. If he wanted to tease and play games, I was ready.

Me: What are you gonna do? Come over and knock this attitude out of me?

Gojo: Don't tempt me, princess. You might not be able to handle me if I did that.

Me: You're delusional. I'm a tough girl.

Of course I know how to handle people like you.

Gojo: Oh yeah? Let's see what that mouth of yours will say once I'm over there and fuck each of your bratty attitudes out of you.

I blushed. Maybe I wanted him to come over and do just that.

Me: All your tongue does is ramble stupid things. You know you can never do that.

Gojo: You're playing with fire here, princess. Once I'm there, my tongue is gonna show how much more it can do than just ramble.

Me: Pfft, as if. We both know you don't have the guts to actually do that.

Gojo: You know what, I'm done talking.

He went offline. I panicked, worried I had gone too far and upset him. Ten minutes later, there were knocks on my door. At nearly 3:30 AM, I opened it to find Gojo. He grabbed my neck, pushing me inside and trapping me against the wall. His blue eyes bore into mine, his grip tight.

"What happened, princess? Cat got your tongue again?" he smirked, noticing my reaction.

He spread my legs with his knee and whispered, "You thought I'd let you get away with this? Speak up, kitten." His new nickname turned me on.

"What are you doing here?" | managed to ask.

"I'm here to prove l'm the real winner of this game and to claim you as mine again. By the time I'm done, all you'll think about is me," he whispered, lifting me and carrying me to my bedroom.

He laid me gently on the bed, his hands tracing familiar paths down my body, igniting every nerve with a touch that was both demanding and tender.

His lips followed the same trail, leaving me breathless and yearning. The room seemed to pulse with the intensity of the moment, every sense heightened, every touch electric.

As he kissed me, his lips moved from my mouth to my neck, and I couldn't help but arch into him, a soft moan escaping my lips. He smiled against my skin, his hands exploring, reminding me just how well he knew my body. I tugged at his shirt, and he obliged, tossing it aside before pulling me closer.

His breath was hot against my ear as he whispered, "Still think I only ramble stupid things?" | shook my head, too caught up in the sensation to respond with words. He chuckled, a low, throaty sound that sent shivers down my spine.

The night stretched on, a blur of heated kisses and tangled limbs. He took his time, every movement deliberate, every touch designed to drive me to the edge. And when he finally whispered my name, it felt like a promise, a reminder of everything we once had and everything we could still be.

In the aftermath, as we lay entwined, the world outside seemed distant and unimportant. For now, there was only us, and the lingering echo of his touch on my skin.

#pov #anime #jjk x reader #jjk gojo #gojo satoru #jujutsu gojo #gojo x reader #pls idk why i wrote this😭

[viviennelamb]

do you have any friendships...? I don't and anytime I see someone online claiming to be living in solitude I end up finding out that they indeed do have multiple friendships

I don't live in solitude, I live a regular life. Living in solitude is an off-grid, homesteading situation where you're fully dependent on yourself, which is rare. I think we have different definitions of this. Inner solitude is vital, and it can be done in a crowd of people. It's an energetic thing, similar to your walls being up. This is what I do purposefully and what I'm referring to when I talk about solitude.

I've seen the same thing of what you're saying. Most people are like, “I'm alone, it's just me, my spouse, children, and pets.” and it's like uh, that's not aloneness, but this demonstrates that loneliness is a choice, just like every other emotion.

I don't have friends nor any desire for friendship. I mainly placated others because they wanted friends to do things with. I've always jumped from friend group to friend group, went up to random people and had conversations, asked to join in on certain things I was interested in, had acquaintances for specific things like classes or to discuss certain topics. If nobody was available, I'd play wall tennis, basketball, or read in the library. This is normal for children, but adults get more socially rigid unless they're inebriated.

Adults are insufferable due to how judgmental, emotionally unstable and adverse to real healing they are. They're bullies and gossips, don't like solutions, and are hopelessly addicted to something. I naturally started doing things on my own because I wasn't interested in the people around me, and the feeling was mutual. I always had to accommodate them, though.

They began to project that I was shy and that they had to “break me out of my shell” just to listen to the same drivel. I go on my phone when people are trying to fill my head with their nonsense. When people say “only x group of people are good” but when I was highly extroverted and would talk to everybody and their parents and found that everybody is truly the same. They may have different ideals, but at their core, people who engage in the same worldly behaviors are the same.

I thought I had to have friends, but when I realized I could opt out of it, I took the opportunity and I love it. I don't see it ending because I only have time to do, and I'm not willing to change my schedule for another person to do nothing. I see relationships of all kinds as service work, like that person came into my life for me to help them, which is what I enjoy doing because there's a beginning and end. I'm not the type to hang around loitering aimlessly.

There's nothing another person can give me, and I've never derived joy from any relationship, just sadness and dread. I've left more friend meet ups in tears than what's probably considered normal. I find people so damn depressing. Most people are constipated with filth, and they're looking for a human laxative, which doesn't exist without doing the bulk of the spiritual work required as an individual.

I don't need anybody to “talk to” either, especially because that comes with a list of stipulations, so I keep it superficial. There's nothing to talk about when you understand how the world works.

I don't like needy people. I don't like when people I barely know attempt to fast track into my private life. People will tell me about their private life and I do not reciprocate as I've found that it's usually information mining. I've had instances where I told somebody something and within five minutes, somebody I didn't know was asking me about. Most people can't keep their mouth shut long enough to prove themselves trustworthy, so I'm not interested. It'll typically take at least 3 years until I would consider somebody a friend and most people kill any chance of that happening within a week.

I like people who appreciate the moment and don't try to make a lifelong invisible contract out of our first meeting. I'm open to friendship, but it needs to be a divine one where that person has a rich inner world. Other than that, no, thank you. All most people have is the external world, and I can't relate to that. I find that speaking about personal experiences, of all kinds, diminishes them, so I have no desire to speak about anything. I don't mind writing about it because it can reach and help more people than me talking about it to one person.

The main problem with relationships of all kinds is the expectation that I have to remain at their, hang out with them, check up on them. This is probably normal to them, but to me, that's a job where I have to be the caretaker of a stage 5 clinger. I don't like the feeling of somebody needing me or depending on me.

I refuse to own pets for this reason, either. I don't like the idea of having to stop it from leaving the confines I've set out for it, having to control its food schedule or pick up after it. I don't want to control anything or anybody but myself.

Maybe your experience is different, but like I said, I attract mentally and emotionally unstable people or just plain assholes. I have met people similar to me, but they want to be alone as well. We don't have the fears nor care about what people think to the extent that worldly people do. It's an entirely different reality to totally depend on God and magnetize what we need based by adhering to karmic law.

#ask #despite going into every situation with the best intentions and a clean heart and a positive attitude people despise that #i got the message: hell is other people. #yes yes i know there are good people out there but i can only speak on my actual reality and not hope for a fantasy. #good for you if you've experienced the opposite.

[youremyonlyhope]

why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up

#i'm overthinking something that i did and was told off for doing by my director #and on my way home i was thinking when was the last time i was even talked to like that during a production #and then i remembered the costume experience from hell of only a couple months ago that i've already began blocking out #but the thing is that that person was someone i knew i'd never have to work with again #i mean at first i thought i would have to work with them more. then they announced they were moving away immediately #so i only had to deal with them face to face for another weekish after that point and anytime they yelled at me #i was like 'cool. i'll do exactly what you say to do. and nothing more.' but then of course me being me #i did some extra stuff and they initially were like 'oh that's pretty' and then days later told me to cut everything i added #and like sure i get that the show was frozen but girl. that costume was unfinished. i was trying to finish it. it was frozen but looked bad #anyway. whenever they yelled at me and had actual malice in their heart i was like whatever. i was hurt. but i didn't care as much. #but this time it's someone i've worked with many many times before and it was about a habit i have that i know isn't great #but at the same time the thing that prompted it wasn't even me doing this habit it was something else #but she interpreted it as that habit and said that i can't do that on a production she's directing #and that if i couldn't stop then i could pull out from the production and there'd be no hard feelings between us #and honestly i think her reassuring that she knows i'm valuable and that she wants me there while also telling me not to do this thing #and the fact that she's someone i like working with and will continue to work with just made it all hurt so much more #especially since she referenced another past production we've done where i didn't even realize she had noticed that i do this. #and i found myself in near tears. and still am kind of in near tears. i can't decide if i need to cry or not. #and i had NO sleep last night so i was looking forward to sleeping tonight but now i'm just overthinking EVERYTHING #and like. i know everything will be fine. if i just stop inserting myself and stick to just my specific tasks. it'll be fine. #but this is one of the ways my ocd manifests. i feel like i have to personally fix something i notice going wrong. or it'll be bad. #because every single time i choose to sit back and not be nosy when i notice something it ends up bad in a way i could have prevented #if i just inserted myself in a situation i technically wasn't part of but knew i could help or fix. so i just need to not do that. #but then i feel guilt if it does go wrong in the ways i immediately assumed it would and in a way i could prevent. #and i've been trying to work on this for like 6 months and aaaahhhh it's hard and being called out on it from her just really really hurt #i still may or may not cry. i don't know. the irony of me telling my therapist THIS MORNING that it's been a while since i last cried. #and the universe being like 'i took that as a challenge' and handing me this situation for me to spiral over. #i need to leave things alone. i need to stare straight ahead. and ignore whatever isn't specifically for me to do. but ahhh i want to help #and then of course my mom has this same habit and it annoys me when she does it yet i do it to other people and ahhhhhhhh #brain please just shut up. i need to sleep. i have to work tomorrow.

[noxtivagus]

i get distracted so easily but i promise i'll get more done ! eventually aaaa 🫶🏼

#🌙.rambles #i find it so amusing how wnvr i have a new interest i always get into it so deeply #a week ago i listened to sm architects songs n searched up sm lyrics n read articles too n now this week it's #switched to the 1975 n i'm listening to sm of their songs too n reading even more articles n watching stuff n YEAH N #oh dear. i shld be doing my assignments due like 24 hours from now n they're easy n i'm nearly done #that's the thing i'm srs nearly done but i keep on getting distracted 😭 n then other stuff too i wna do but forget hflkasdjfd #can't blame me though bcs isn't there just so much to life? n other than all these responsibilities n. survival i suppose. in this society #i just want to live n. learn everything. understand as much as i can and be understood. #be at peace w all the contradictions in life.. 'always' is never possible but i do know i'll endlessly keep on going on until my end #sorry. that doesn't really make sense i just contradicted myself 💀 theres rlly just sm n. it's weird bcs.. i've rlly known extremes so well #like w apollo i have a twin i know how it is to have. such a deep and close relationship with another person. we're like #familial soulmates fr so ik how to direct my energy so.. yk yeah so IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN BUT #maybe a better comparison is. yk when i love something i'm super passionate about it. obvious i have phases here n then but #i have. a wide range of interests but. arghhh no not quite that as well. so.. the range n that intensity? coexisting? #n it's overwhelming often bcs it's too much. n in the past trying to do more than i could rlly drained me like. sm at the same time #but then yk that time for me where i mostly just played ffxiv. uh. help i don't know how to say it n then i forgot what i was gna write #ah. it's just a lot. i really can't write it enough. such is one of the limits of being human #but.. the strong thought i have of how these stuff make more important things more meaningful is just #at the same time there's. another thought that battles it w a similar intensity. n i feel too deeply i think too much of it #but if you were to ask me how i was doing right now i'd say. perhaps stressed yes but i'm doing alright right now. actually maybe not #HELP NO I'M NOT DOING THIS ANYMORE I'M CONFUSING MYSELF W MY OWN WORDS 😭 dw tho i am fine just rather frustrated with time #i want to do so much but yk i have these priorities that i need to do.. i mean. not really 'need'. but. #ah i just love thinking of how life is in relation to society n its people n then w. i forgot how to say it.. but yk. just the universe #it's so heavy thinking about these heavy things so often. the intense desire to understand n be understood.. #to learn and to be learned. or maybe these songs r making me think of how. there's just so much. in life n death n everything #there's so much i don't know n again n again i keep on saying that while there's so much i don't know in every single aspect #there's.. people that r specifically one of my greatest weaknesses w just how unpredictable we are. i love it though but at the same time #it's uh. yeah. thinking of time n the past n present n future n how it's filled with so much is something that i want to #i want to take all of it in but it's also so overwhelming n i'm just at odds with my own self rn but i'm fine #words aren't enough honestly. but i want to convey it somehow. so i'll do what is right for me. in time.

[mntcoronet]

*pause moment* hey why the fuck did I just realise that during high school, I felt like a fair number of my peers (from outside my friends group) treated me somewhat more "softly" or like a child than they would've done with other people. and why was that

#maggles ramblings #like idk if they were actually doing that or if that's just what i Felt was happening #but. when they'd have to talk to me for things; like short 'do this in pairs' stuff; i def felt like they treated me differently #like I'd point out something in the thing we were looking at and they'd go 'oh wow good observation!!' as if we weren't the same age #maybe they just acted differently cos they didn't wanna be doing it. which like sure. but man u could at least try to discuss the topic #or did i seem like too much of a shy little creature that only just learned human speech that they forgot i was competent enough to get A's #but hhh man idk. i never know how people perceive me that's the real issue here #i can sorta make estimations based on how they talk to me; i can tell well enough if someone just doesn't wanna keep talking to me #but that doesn't mean i can figure out WHY. but i do know that sometimes it feels like.. they pick up on something about me #like i can roughly tell whether the person talking to me still considers me Just A Normal Guy or if they've realised like 'hey... #this person doesn't quite Get It with regards to social/conversation stuff'. bc of the way they talk. but i still never know why!! #like sure every time i go have conversations with new people i feel like I'm just pretending to be A Normal Person yknow #and when other people who seem very socially competent Keep talking to me i just think oh wow you haven't figured it out yet that's wild #figured what out? idk that I'm just pretending i guess. about what? uh good question just pretending in general #pretending like i know what to say; that it feels completely Natural to talk like that; like I'm not mentally rating each of my actions #but then sometimes there's people i just feel like i don't have to do that around nearly as much. i swear i gravitate towards those ppl #but yeah it's just. it def feels like they know I'm Not Getting something when i talk to a lot of people. like they Know i missed a memo #and i don't even know what the memo is about; or whether I've gotten any of the previous memos or just absorbed the knowledge #by observing things. ya #ok im done with that train of thought i need to go and work on that au i accidentally stayed up till 2am last night thinking of ideas for

[voxiiferous]

9 and 45 @shadowofthehost (The fact this is a blind choice makes me incredibly curious lol)

@shadowofthehost | spotify wrapped is here! send me a number from 1-100 for a headcanon for our muses based on that song. send 🌀 for me to randomize a number.

9. Heartbreak Feels So Good - Fall Out Boy

No matter what they tell you The future's up for grabs and no No matter what they sell you Is there a word for bad miracle? Nobody said the road was endless Nobody said the climb was friendless But could we please pretend this won't end?

There are moments when the differences between Vox and Vincent must become apparent. Vox sets rules for himself that Vincent pays no mind to, he discard parts of himself and the past in the name of progress. Here he is, making the future, determining everything that will happen from atop a neon tower.

No one ever sees beyond the veneer he creates... and then Astor comes along, and it it all becomes much harder to pretend that everything is perfectly fine. Astor feels like something new and interesting, a breath of fresh air compared to Valentino, who had, at one point, seemed saint and saviour; something new, something fascinating, someone he could love. Astor reaches out and gets shocked, and seems excited about it.

It is this turning point that creates so many problems, because Vox has protected himself through these walls, adjusted himself to the heartbreak and the repetitive notions of a lover he fools himself into thinking are acceptable. How long can he pretend that this state of affairs can last?

Heartbreak feels good, until it doesn't. Until he's looking at a living shadow who's somehow the brightest thing in his life.

-

45. La Seine - A Monster In Paris (Okay technically the one on my playlist is the original French version but shhhh, it's easier to use the English here. It's pretty much an identical song).

I don't know, don't know, so don't ask me why That's how we are, La Seine and I I don't know, don't know, so don't ask me why That's how we are, La Seine and I I feel alive when I'm beside La Seine, La Seine, La Seine From this angle like an angel La Seine, La Seine, La Seine

There is a lot that attracts Vincent to Astor initially and simultaneously, a lot that terrifies him. He's in Hell, he's looking at a him with a TV for a head, and a man who sweeps in and charms him with all the power of Times Square. But it is, fear aside, exhilarating. If you were to ask him before, he would have said he was not a man that falls in love easily, but here he is.

Staying with Astor doesn't mean dying, but it does mean Hell, and yet... he makes it worth it. He chooses to stay with him, because he feels more alive in Pentagram City than in the endless drudgery of a rat-race. There is a sense of Paradise in that.

He doesn't think that the fortune teller knew what she was doing when she sent him here, and in fairness, if it hadn't been for Astor being very unexpected, he would not have stayed. He would have fallen to a future wherein he was miserable but successful, and done nothing that did not lead him to the exact same fate. So perhaps it was coincidence, perhaps some destiny. He doesn't know, and probably never will, but he knows that he's gone on Astor in the same way that New York settled into place like a second skin.

#*cathode rays and rock and roll (vincent price) #shadowofthehost #two VERY different vibes! #In all honesty I did NOT realize I listened to La Seine this many times #it only entered into rotation in September #because of a fic I was writing #aaand here it is! #FOB is less surprising #they've been my top band for... at least two years in a row #*personnel file (hc) #honestly heartbreak feels so good has a few really good lyrics #and you know what if I'd thought about it then I could have done something with the Hudson River in NY #and Seine comparisons but too late now! #in either case Astor getting NY comparisons is peak compliments from Vincent

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

for whom good omens is being written

Hey maggots and the rest of the fandom, it's the Good Omens Mascot here. Today I read a post about this tweet:

The accompanying video genuinely made me cry. And I've been thinking about this for a long while, as far back as February, when I saw a lot of conflicting opinions on what people wanted from the third season. It really is true that no matter what you do, some people will be dissatisfied. But what matters is that Neil is writing this for Terry.

And I was reminded of some paragraphs from the Good Omens TV Companion, which I'd read in Amazon's sample excerpt of the book. I know this is a long post, but I really truly do think you all need to read these, I've done my best to select only the most important parts. Here you go:

'His Alzheimer's started progressing harder and faster than either of us had expected,' says Neil, referring to a period in which Terry recognized that despite everything he could no longer write. 'We had been friends for over thirty years, and during that time he had never asked me for anything. Then, out of the blue, I received an email from him with a special request. It read: “Listen, I know how busy you are. I know you don't have time to do this, but I want you to write the script for Good Omens. You are the only human being on this planet who has the passion, love and understanding for the old girl that I do. You have to do this for me so that I can see it." And I thought, “OK, if you put it like that then I'll do it."

'I had adapted my own work in the past, writing scripts for Death: The High Cost of Living and Sandman, but not a lot else was seen. I'd also written two episodes of Doctor Who, and so I felt like I knew what I was doing. Usually, having written something once I'd rather start something new, but having a very sick co-author saying I had to do this?' Neil spreads his hands as if the answer is clear to see. 'I had to step up to the plate.' A pause, then: 'All this took place in autumn 2014, around the time that the BBC radio adaptation of Good Omens was happening,' he continues, referring to the production scripted and co-directed by Dirk Maggs and starring Peter Serafinowicz and Mark Heap. ‘Terry had talked me into writing the TV adaptation, and I thought OK, I have a few years. Only I didn't have a few years,' he says. 'Terry was unconscious by December and dead by March.'

He pauses again. 'His passing took all of us by surprise,' Neil remembers. 'About a week later, I started writing, and it was very sad. The moments Terry felt closest to me were the moments I would get stuck during the writing process. In the old days, when we wrote the novel, I would send him what I'd done or phone him up. And he would say, "Aahh, the problem, Grasshopper, is in the way you phrase the question," and I would reply, "Just tell me what to do!" which somehow always started a conversation. 'In writing the script, there were times I'd really want to talk to Terry, and also places where I'd figure something out and do something really clever, and I would want to share it with him. So, instead, I would text Terry's former personal assistant, Rob Wilkins, now his representative on Earth. It was the nearest thing I had.'

(...) As Neil himself recognizes, this is an adaptation built upon the confidence that comes from three decades of writing for page and screen. But for all the wisdom of experience, he found that above all one factor guided him throughout the process. 'Terry isn't here, which leaves me as the guardian of the soul of the story,' he explains. 'It's funny because sometimes I found myself defending Terry's bits harder or more passionately than I would defend my own bits. Take Agnes Nutter,' he says, referring to what has become a key scene in the adaptation in which the seventeenth-century author of the book of prophecies foretelling the coming of the Antichrist is burned at the stake. ‘It was a huge, complicated and incredibly expensive shoot, with bonfires built and primed to explode as well as huge crowds in costume. It had to feel just like an English village in the 1640s, and of course everyone asked if there was a cheap way of doing it. 'One suggestion was that we could tell the story using old-fashioned woodcuts and have the narrator take us through what happened, but I just thought, “No”. Because I had brought aspects of the story like Crowley and the baby swap along to the mix, and Terry created Agnes Nutter. So, if I had cut out Agnes then I wouldn't be doing right by the person who gave me this job. Terry would've rolled over in his grave.'

And, finally, this paragraph:

"Once again, Neil cites the absence of his co-writer as his drive to ensure that Good Omens translated to the screen and remained true to the original vision. 'Terry's last request to me was to make this something he would be proud of. And so that has been my job.'"

I think that's so heartwrenchingly beautiful, and so I wanted you all to read this, too, just in case you (like me) don't have the Good Omens TV Companion. It adds another layer of depth and emotion to this already complex and amazing story that we all know and love.

Share this post, if you can, please, so that more people can read these excerpts :")

Tagging @neil-gaiman, @fuckyeahgoodomens and @orpiknight, even if you've definitely read these before :)

#good omens #neil gaiman #sir terry pratchett #good omens show #good omens fandom #good omens mascot #weirdly specific but ok #asmi

[sonicboomseason3]

a brief recap of what has been going on with the sonic movieverse in the past several months:

paramount has come out in public support of israel

keanu reeves, a man who has publicly rubbed elbows with none other than benjamin netanyahu, reportedly gets cast as shadow for the upcoming third movie

james marsden, the guy who plays tom, got exposed as having written a letter of support for a convicted pedophile

there's fucking??? zionist propaganda in the knuckles series???

kind of connected to the last point but adam pally, the guy who plays wade, is evidently pro-israel too

this is a complete and utter joke.

EDIT AS OF 4/30/24: if people see this version of the post, i'd really appreciate it if you reblog it instead of the other versions, as it's the most updated one with all the information that i want included. thank you :]

you know, it's been a few days since i've made this post, and some of you (not most) are staying determined in defending/justifying/giving the benefit of the doubt to keanu for that photo with netanyahu, whether it's because "it was a decade ago," "him being civil to someone he ran into at a party one time doesn't mean anything," "he's probably just silent because his pr managers won't allow him to speak up," etc. i've made my thoughts on the matter quite clear by directly responding to these people, but at this point, i'm tired of both seeing them in my notes and repeating myself, so take this as my final word on the issue.

i can't help it if you don't think the photo with netanyahu is damning, and i'm done engaging with everyone going out of their way to tell me that. i obviously disagree, especially after finding out that 1. the host of the party, arnon milchan, is a former israeli spy who has a history of developing israel's nuclear program and promoting apartheid in south africa (information that had broken out a few months prior to the party and thus would've been fresh news around the time keanu chose to attend) and 2. keanu has been caught hanging around at least two other weirdos, but if you don't find any of that to be cause for reasonable concern, then there really is nothing else i can say afaik.

with all that said, i'm beginning to realize how strange it is that these people's first instinct when seeing this post is to start debating about keanu's political stances without ever acknowledging any of the other bullet points. you guys realize that this isn't just about him, right? i know tumblr reading comprehension is known for being piss-poor, but like… you realize that i was trying to make a point of how there are MULTIPLE terrible things that have broken out about the people and company involved in the sonic movies, right? and yet, a lot of the people leaping to speak on keanu's behalf in my notes are completely ignoring the parts where i bring up paramount, pally, etc. all in favor of zeroing in on the singular point about keanu and making bad faith assumptions about me for holding him accountable. really makes one wonder where your priorities lie if, in a post that talks about so many other things, me accusing an a-list celebrity with, according to google, a net worth of almost $400 million is where you draw the line and apparently the only thing worth your acknowledgment.

ultimately, what i'm trying to say is that the intention of this post was just to gather up everything that i had been hearing for the past several months and put it all together in one place. there were a bunch of people who didn't know about at least one of the bullet points before seeing this post, and i'm glad that i could help inform them, that was what i was hoping to do! but as for the keanu thing, i've said pretty much all i can say for now, and i don't want to derail the original post even more than i may have already. unless something new comes up, i'm done talking about him.

#sonic #sonic the hedgehog #sonic movie #.sbs3 #yeah no i WILL be annoying about this #because what the fuck