#and they were all talking about. the older piece. because the newer one had some Proportions that werent even sexy they were just uhhhhhhhh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

peachypinkygloss · 8 months

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dior girl ✰ park jimin

Park Jimin is one of a kind. When he wants something, he gets it, no matter how hard it can be. He's not scared to get his hands dirty. If he had any morals, maybe he'd consider his obsession with you getting out of hands. But this man has absolutely no morals.

୨୧ pairing: designer!jimin x model/fem!reader

୨୧ genre: strangers to lovers, age gap (21 & 38), smut, slight angst

୨୧ word count: 8.1k

୨୧ warnings: unrealistic depiction of the fashion industry, alcohol consumption & mention of drugs use, manipulation & corruption, jimin isn't a good person (especially not to oc lol <3), violent sexual thoughts, jimin's a sadist (my fav headcannon :D), heavy dom/sub dynamics, hard dom!jimin, unprotected vaginal & anal sex, anal play (use of a buttplug), my new headcannon: jimin likes giving anal, dacryphilia, praising & degradation, oral sex (m), face fucking, aftercare ig because yes jimin's a sadist but he still has a heart.

a.n.: yup so idk if you guys were expecting that... but i did say none of the characters were ethical lmfao so 🤷🏻‍♀️ i really, really hope you like the first part, i've worked hard on it even though it's not super long. so please, reblog and tell me what you thought about it! <3 as always, don't like, don't read.

[dior girl moodboard] ["older" masterlist]

His studio is his sanctuary. It's the only place in the world he can spend hours in without even noticing the moon setting or the sun rising. In his studio it feels like the time doesn't exist or that it's just a futile detail that doesn't have much importance.

When he's creating a piece, nothing around him matters. The only things he's willing to give attention to are the placements of the needles on the fabric, the little lines that form the pattern of the clothing, and the way his scissors cut through the satin material of the dress he's designing.

He's thought about this design for so long and he finally got the opportunity to make it. He's thought about the colours of the dress and also of the seam, about the length of the hem and the sleeves, how deep the neckline should be and if lace would be suitable.

He doesn't even recall how many sketches he's made of the dress. At some point it was consuming his entire mind, this dress the only design he could draw and think of.

Now that he's finally creating it, he has the feeling that it's going to be the best piece he's ever made. He already sees everyone talking about it, saying how much of a genius Park Jimin is. It's going to be the design of the year — of the century.

He still misses something, though, and it might be the most important part of the design. He needs a model, the perfect body to wear his piece and present it to the fashion world.

It can't be anybody, it must be someone who's confident, who always has their head up and who radiates elegance and sports a unique beauty.

Jimin still hasn't found this person. He constantly searches for them, but never finds them or when he thinks that he has, he discovers flaws he cannot unseen.

All the Dior models are great, but not enough. They don't spark anything in Jimin when he watches them strode down the catwalk. He's checked upon the apprentices and the newer models the company has hired, but he saw no one extraordinary.

Until today.

He hears steps against the wooden floor of his studio, entering the place without knocking. "Ah, there he is!" A manly voice exclaims, Jimin immediately recognizes it as his friend's, Sungwoon. "I have someone to introduce you."

Jimin raises his gaze up from his working table and looks at Sungwoon who's accompanied by a beautiful, young woman. He's then suddenly interested, contrary to usual where he doesn't really care about the many girls Sungwoon brings, claiming each one as the new phenomenon of the fashion industry.

When Jimin turns around, he eyes you up and down, barely glimpsing in Sungwoon's way. It's all it takes, one simple glance and he knows you're the one he needs — the one he wants and has to ruin.

Sungwoon introduces you both and when your name is pronounced by the man, sounding so charming and delicate, he's certain you're the model he had been waiting for since a long time.

You seem shy, arms locked behind your back, but you stand up straight and have a polite smile drawn on your face.

"I thought maybe you'd like to get to know each other, right?" Sungwoon raises his eyebrows in Jimin's direction. "Everyone's fond of her," he smiles and pats your back, encouraging you to speak up.

"Thanks," you smile back at Sungwoon before glancing back at Jimin who still hasn't looked away from you. "I've been a big fan of your work since I was a little kid, Mr. Park. You've inspired me to become a model."

The way you say his name has his cock twitching in his pants, filthy thoughts of him spanking your butt while you cry his name invading his mind.

He can sense your vulnerability, your willingness to submit. Who would he be to deny you that? Him, who is so eager to dominate the ones he's attracted to, to break but also repair them.

He knows it when someone's fragile, hiding their weaknesses under fake confidence. He doesn't know you, but he recognizes the pattern almost instantly. What can be broken can also be repaired and you're asking him to break you.

"I'm glad to hear that," Jimin says politely, a slight smile tugging on his lips. He's not the type to smile — stretch the corner of his mouth upward to imitate the person in front of him, he finds it useless. But for you, he'll do it, just so you trust him because you're so desperate to give yourself to the opposite sex.

"Park, you were wondering who'd be part of the fall show this year," Sungwoon begins, looking at you like you're the most irradiant ruby in the world. "Well, you have her in front of you." You giggle softly at the man's words, nodding your head at him and then looking at Jimin as if waiting for some praises.

Jimin faintly smiles, seeing your eyes glimmering and he curses himself for not finding you first. You'd have been his by now, his to praise, to kiss, to fuck, to destroy. But he swears, if he happens to break you, he'll gratefully keep you safe close to him.

๑♡՞

T H E N

"Careful," Jimin softly says as he catches you up from falling on the floor. You let out a high pitched laugh, as if all of this is a big joke, and push him back with a hand on his chest.

"I'm fine," you answer, shrugging him off with a flip of your hand. You stagger from left to right, leaning against the wall when you almost fall a second time. You laugh it off again, halting your steps.

Jimin looks at you with a cringe expression, eyeing the people behind, sporting worried looks on their faces.

You all went out after the show; models, designers, directors, stylists... everyone. It wasn't your plan to get drunk, Jimin knows that because you're not supposed to drink alcohol since you're on a very strict diet. A glass from time to time isn't so bad, but your consumption clearly surpassed just one glass tonight.

It's not really your fault, though. Technically yes, since you're the one who swallowed all of the glasses of wine, but you had a little help.

A little help from Jimin himself.

When you weren't looking, he poured more alcohol in your glass and to his satisfaction you've noticed nothing and gulped everything. Sure, you got a bit suspicious, wondering how you had only drank so little when you remembered swallowing more than that.

But Jimin assured you it was only your first glass, so you drank, and drank, and drank... Until you were more than tipsy.

You've received nasty looks from your colleagues, especially the other models who weren't drinking a single drop of wine, and yet, still weren't awarded with the status of the 'face of Dior'. How ironic that the drunkest girl in the room was the face of Dior and the little protégée of Mr. Park.

Years and years of training, countless sleepless nights, meals that are as nutritious as birds seed... All of the efforts in the world to have your biggest dream stolen by a model who is in the industry for less than six months.

Their rage is understandable, but Jimin couldn't care less. In fact, everything is going as planned and he can't fuck things up now. No, because if he does, all of the things he has done until now will be completely irrelevant.

"I'll... I'll bring her to our room, you can go out without us," Jimin announces, watching you sit down on the floor in the middle of the corridor.

"Will she be okay?" A stylist asks.

"Of course. I'll take care of her."

He waits for everyone to be gone before he gets you up from the floor and leads you both to your hotel room. When you're in the room, he sits you down on the bed.

You don't say anything as he takes off his jacket and loosens his tie. He crouches down in front of you to remove your heels and he does the same with his shoes, leaving them at the entry.

When he comes back, he sees you quietly crying, the features of your face contorting into a sad expression. You've slightly sobered up, harshly coming back to reality, realizing how much you've embarrassed yourself tonight.

"What did I do?" You ask, looking up at him with teary eyes. "I fucked up, didn't I?"

Jimin sits down beside you, lifting your head up with his index under your chin and his thumb over it. "There's nothing that can't be repaired," he states in a soft voice, so low it sounds like a sweet whisper — a secret, a confession only you can hear. "Right?"

You sniff, wiping your tears away. You nod your head in agreement, slightly reassured, hoping Jimin will fix your mistakes. Your foolish mistakes, done by the carefree of a twenty-one year old.

"Shh, baby, shh," he softly murmurs, cradling your head in his hands and gently laying your face against his chest. You wrap your arms around his waist, hugging him tighter and tighter til suffocation.

He strokes your hair delicately, placing a sweet and warm kiss on the top of your head.

Someone as vulnerable as you contains a lot of emotions. He has to deal with them, which doesn't bother him at all. He wants you the way you are; sad and pitiful.

"Everything's going to be fine," he promises, but it's not entirely the truth. Not everything will be fine, though it'll be in the end, he thinks — he hopes.

You eventually pull away from his embrace, just enough to look at him. It seems like you're searching for something or maybe waiting for something, your eyes desperately staring at Jimin as if his simple presence will make all of your problems fly away.

You throw yourself at him and kiss him on the lips, fingers pulling on the hair at the nape of his neck. He reciprocates it, knowing you like your kisses sloppy and messy, wanting Jimin everywhere on you to remind you that he's always there.

You bring him closer, crumpling the material of his white shirt between your fists, moaning and whining as your teeth clash together at how roughly you kiss each other.

Jimin breaks your exchange first, both catching your breaths. His eyes observe you quietly as you look at him like you're still waiting for something.

"Did you do what I told you to?" He questions you, referring to your conversation of a few days when you came to his studio to try on his dress.

You were a bit stressed out, putting on the clothing like you were scared you'd rip it. He still remembers the way the satin was sliding up your body, hugging your waist and ass perfectly. He was baffled at how incredibly well it suited you as if he had made it exactly for you.

And maybe it was made for you, after all.

Because when he saw his creation on you, he knew you had to wear it for the runway. It has to be you, he'll accept no one else.

Jimin will make you walk the runway wearing his dress — the last time you'll ever step on the catwalk. After that, he'll keep you away from the rest of the world. He'll refuse anyone to see you because you're going to be his.

His forever.

"Yes," you nod your head, trapping your bottom lip between your teeth.

"Tell me what you did," Jimin softly demands, holding your chin in his hand, mouths inches away from each other.

You're too shy to say it out loud and that's why he wants you to tell him. Also to be sure you did everything correctly, but mainly because he wants to see you embarrassed.

"I prepared myself for you..." You begin, holding eye contact even though you feel your face heating up just thinking about all the things you've done per his request. "I... I used lube both on me and... the toy," you continue in a shy tone, so low Jimin wouldn't hear you if he wasn't so close.

"Where on you, sweetheart?" He interrupts, wanting each detail, each little thing you normally wouldn't have done if it wasn't for him. And all while thinking of him.

You swallow, "On my ass, Jimin," you answer in a whisper. "I stretched it out for you, using the toy like you told me," you finally admit.

"Good girl," Jimin purrs. "Let me see it then."

You proceed to strip off of your dress, now used to be nude in front of him, and slide your panties down your thighs, discarding them away on the floor.

You get back up on the mattress and position yourself on all fours close to the edge of the bed. Jimin stands up and goes behind you to have a closer look at your ass.

His veiny hands pull your cheeks apart, revealing your rim to his insatiable, sadistic eyes. You glance over your shoulder, curious of what he has in mind and what he has prepared for you.

You softly gasp when he spits and lets the globe of spit drip down between your asscheeks, rolling over your puckered hole. You clench around nothing, relieved to have his attention, to finally feel his hands on you instead of the usual touch of yours.

He sees that your ass is a bit looser than the last time he saw it, but it still clearly needs more preparation to welcome his girthy cock — though it's not like he cares that much if you're prepped enough or not.

He passes his thumb over your tight muscle, circling it and smearing his saliva over it. He wants to fuck it so bad, destroy it and do unbelievably violent things to you. Should he tonight? Should he show you his dark and evil side?

He's choked you before — smacked your ass hard til you felt your skin stings, overstimulated you to the point your orgasms were just spasms passing through your body, fucked your throat while you were drooling all over yourself, and tied your legs and wrists together to restrict your movements.

So fucking your ass can't be that bad, but the thing is Jimin wants it to be bad. He then wonders what would happen if the line is ever crossed. Would you endure it, would you defend yourself? Would you shut the fuck up and take it like you're asked to?

But you trust him so much — with all your pathetic being — and he thinks you'd let him cross any lines he desires to. He probably already has crossed multiple lines, and being the poor, sad girl that you are, you said nothing.

You truly are extraordinary.

He gives a slight slap to one of your asscheeks, groping both of them after, feeling how soft and tender your flesh is. "You did good, sweetheart," he comments in a honeyed voice that has you mewling, sounding so smooth and sweet. "How about we play with it a little?"

He lifts up a brow at you and you nod sheepishly, sinking your teeth into your bottom lip. "Yes..."

"Great," he says in a low tone, running his hands one last time over your ass before going to take something from his suitcase.

"What is it?" You question, your curious eyes landing on the small object he's holding.

Jimin brings the object to you, something made of metal, the end having the shape of a cone and a pink gem placed on the top. "A gift for my princess," he replies, opening the bottle of lube he brought as well.

He applies some lube around your tight hole and on the butt plug, and carefully pushes the head of the toy in your ass. You gasp softly, feeling it slowly stretch you out, sinking in gradually as Jimin holds your cheeks apart.

"Mmh, feels good, Sir," you moan, arching your back and pushing your butt closer to Jimin.

When the plug is all the way in, the pink gem peeking out between your two globes of flesh, he smacks your other cheek, making it jiggle from the harsh hit.

"Is that so, dirty girl?" He wonders, gripping your hips and colliding his hips with your butt, sensing his big bulge pulsing under his pants. "You like it when your little ass gets stretched out?"

"I like everything you do to me," you say with a content sigh, pussy clenching around nothing as your ass gets used to the small butt plug.

Jimin genuinely thinks he can't find better than you. You were so shy in the beginning, looking like a lost puppy wherever you went. You just needed someone bigger and older to show you the way — though you were too dumb, and still are, to realize he was leading you to the wrong path.

It's not like you seem to mind, anyway.

After all, you both got what you wanted; you, male attention, someone to rely on and be protected by, and him, a woman to break and keep with him forever.

He lets go of your hips to unbuckle his belt, pulling the leather material out of the gold loop with the luxury Dior logo on it. He lets the two ends of the belt hang off, not bothering to remove it completely, and tucks the fly of his pants down.

He finally frees his cock from the confines of his boxers, springing up and slapping against his stomach, the bit of pre-cum escaping from his tip dampening his shirt.

"You're so good to me, princess," he praises as he wraps a hand around the base of his engorged cock, aching and begging to be nestled in your cute little pussy.

His head pushes at your entrance, never fully entering, only teasing your hole and stimulating all of your sensitive nerves. He watches how his cock stretches your cunt, your walls expending to receive his bulbous tip and then closing down when he pulls out.

"Sir, please, want more," you beg him, pushing your ass on him to have his dick back in you. You let out a little whimper when Jimin holds your hips in place, stopping you from wiggling your butt side to side against his thick cock.

He hums and slaps your ass harshly, your skin stinging after. "Want my cock in your needy little pussy, baby? Is that what you're crying for?" He asks, teasing even more by swiping the head of his penis between your pussy lips, a string of your arousal sticking to his angry tip.

"Yes," you say back quickly and desperately, arching your back, literally presenting yourself to Jimin. "Been so good, don't I deserve it, Sir?" You softly murmur, still looking over your shoulder to see his gaze fixated on your quivering pussy, cock head sliding up and down over your sex.

"You do..." He responds distractedly, licking his plump lips, his fingers touching the pink gem peeking out from your ass. You're always so good and obedient for him, he even wonders if you ever did something that genuinely pissed him off before.

When he really sinks in, his head passing the barrier of your sweet pussy, he groans deeply, feeling your walls deliciously enveloping his hard cock tightly.

You moan in unison as he bottoms out in you, his balls touching your wet and warm pussy. He bends his back over yours, running his hand up your spine, feeling all the little bumps of it until he reaches your head and shoves it against the mattress.

You whine when he starts pounding into you, his girth stretching you out so well, leaving you panting and moaning loudly. His other hand holds your hip against his dick, fingers digging into your skin, leaving permanent marks on your body — as well as on your mind and your soul.

He already sets a hard and rapid pace — fucking is never soft or loving with Jimin, it's violent, long, and agonizing. It's a way to be himself, the real and dark version of himself he hides in public and releases when he gets intimate with you.

You surprisingly got accustomed to it, embracing it as if it was your destiny, the reason for your existence; to be his personal slut, the little toy he likes to play rough with. And you've accepted it, like you had no other choice but to be fucked into oblivion by Jimin whenever he feels like it.

"You like that, baby? Huh?" He growls, as if you're the disgusting one for liking the way he treats you, ravished and delighted to have his girthy cock sliding against your velvety walls. "You like it when I fuck you hard like this?" He repeats and grips your hair, pushing your head against the bed covers with more strength.

You babble out something, voice caught in your throat, too out of breath to formulate a simple sentence. You then only nod, your cheek squished against the mattress, Jimin's hand still pushing down on your head.

His mouth hangs open to let out heavy breaths and his eyes are focused on your face, watching the little translucent pearls fall on your face and on the covers. Your pussy swallows all of his girth, clenching so tightly it has him groaning and saying profanities under his breath.

It's sick how it makes his cock so fucking hard, leaking so much pre-cum in you and twitching avidly by seeing you struggle to breathe. You crumple the bed sheets between your little fists, doing everything in your power to keep your ass up for Jimin and not slump down on the bed from the hard thrusts he's inflicting on you.

He snaps his hips against your ass and the entirety of his length is covered in your wetness, a white ring made of your cream circling the base of his cock.

His hand holding your head descends to your neck, enclosing it with his fingers, the coldness of his silver rings contrasting with the hotness of your sweaty skin. He squeezes a little, just a bit so you know who's in control, so you never forget Jimin controls you — that he controls your life and thoughts.

With a grip on your hair, he brings your torso up, arched back against his chest. The material of his shirt sticks to your skin, coated in a thin layer of sweat. He continues to pound into you, his cock sliding in and out of your pussy rapidly, as he holds you by the throat, lewdly licking a long stripe along the side of your face.

You shudder in desire, hair standing up on your delicate arms. "You're my little whore, aren't you, baby?" His mouth is right beside your ear as he whispers dirty things to you, his lips touching your hair, damp at the nape of your neck. "So fucking compliant... You want to please me so bad like the slut that you are," he mouths the words against your hair, cock pulsing hard in your cunt.

His free hand that doesn't have a hold around your throat slides down your body, passing over your belly and reaching your puffy clit. The sharp zipper of his pants graces the flesh just under your ass, irritating your skin and making it itchy.

You clench around him when his digits find your sensitive bud, circling it sensually and slowly, the complete opposite of his hip thrusts.

"Yes, want to please you, Jimin," you gasp, bucking your hips at the feeling of his rough fingertips on your pussy. He grunts when you address him by his name, loving how it sounds on your tongue, so sweet and timid.

He remembers the first time you moaned his name; you were sprawled across his expensive leather couch, blindfolded and hands attached together with his black tie. Intense for your first time with him, but it was also the last time he's ever been that gentle with you.

It was when his cold fingertips graced the skin of your stomach that you let out a squeak followed by his name, said in the quietest moan. He had then stopped his movements and looked at your face, an expression of distress painted over your features.

He had realized how frail and weak you actually were, needing your most important sense to be at ease. That's why he had blindfolded you, to show you how dependent you are of him, how impossible it is for you to live without him to guide you.

He pushes your jaw to the side so your lips can meet his in a feverish kiss, wet tongues mingling together, drool dripping down from the corners of your mouth. He continues to ram his cock in your now soppy and messy pussy, the sound of skin against skin resonating in the hotel room.

He traps your bottom lip between his teeth, making you whimper and close your walls around his girth once again. Your little hands grip the material of his trousers, keeping him close and holding on to something because the hard cadence of his hip thrusts push you forward, breasts bouncing up on your chest.

"Fuck," he curses and he suddenly stops, steadying his hips against your butt. You let out a whiny moan as Jimin lets go of your face and hips.

You're sad to have your pleasure ripped away from you so hastily, but you don't have the time to complain, Jimin slipping out of your cunt and pushing you down violently on the mattress.

You turn around on your back to see him unbuttoning his dress shirt and throwing it on the floor, revealing to you his beautiful chest and defined abs. He gets rid of his pants and socks after, finally removing his boxers, the only things remaining on him being his rings and the watch crowning his right wrist.

His cock glistens in your juices, more pre-cum leaking from his swollen tip and twitching avidly against his stomach. Even though him fucking you while being all dressed and you completely bare is a way to humiliate and degrade you, he also likes to be naked sometimes.

He loves skin to skin contact, how your bodies stick together because of all the sweat coating you. It's addicting, it's rougher and it creates more friction — more pain.

He doesn't mind being naked too because he knows how to dominate you either way. He doesn't find it embarrassing, on the contrary, it makes him scarier and hungrier. While you shiver without your clothes on, curled up on yourself, Jimin is imposing, his cock thick and girthy enough to split you in half.

He crawls back to you, hovering over you like a predator had caught his prey, boring his eyes into yours. You look at him in awe, always waiting patiently. You feel his cock against your thigh, thick and veiny, your hole pathetically quivering — missing his size stretching out your pussy.

He sneaks a hand between your legs and reaches the little pink gem, ready to get it out. "Take a deep breath sweetheart," Jimin instructs and you inhale deeply.

He doesn't waste a second, pulling out the butt plug out of your ass. You scrunch your eyes shut at the pain, exhaling when it's done. He carefully sets it on the nightstand, coming back to you after.

He bends your legs over your stomach and looks at your ass, just begging him to fuck it, shining with lube and arousal that leaks from your pussy. His erect cock is just so close to it and Jimin could slide right in with one movement of his hips.

He lets go of one of your legs to grip his engorged erection, a little gasp escaping your lips when he presses the head of his cock at your tight hole, threatening to sink in.

"Sir," you sigh, not sure if you're ready for that. It always burns no matter how good you prepped before and he knows that. That's why he's so tempted, that he's staring so obsessively at your rim.

Will it hurt you? Will you grip his biceps in an attempt to dissuade him? He wants to see those tears falling from your eyes again, he wants to lick them and tastes your pain. He feels more blood rush to his penis at the mere thought of hurting you.

Give him all of your pain, he'll fucking take it whole and cherish it. He wants it — he needs it. Accuse him for having a sick and twisted mind, accuse him for everything you've ever been hurt by because he'll gladly take the blame.

"I know you can take it," he says in a low tone, glancing up at your face as he applies just a bit more pressure to your ass hole. "Can you, baby?" Jimin asks, waiting for you to admit how much you want it, how badly you want him to destroy you.

"Yes..." You whisper back, a long shiver running up your spine as his eyes pierce through you.

"Yes, what? Tell me, sweetheart," he demands, and it's as if he doesn't care about your response whatsoever because the next thing he does makes you yelp in pain.

His tip has entered you, the burning sensation forcing you to scrunch your eyes shut, your instinct thinking it'll protect you.

"Yes, I- I can..." you stutter and as expected, you dig your nails in the flesh of his biceps — only fair to hurt him in return. "I can take your cock in my ass..."

You take a sharp breath, eyes slowly opening, all watery and painful. Jimin groans at that, stuffing more of himself in your hole. "Good girl," he praises, voice raspy, ending with a deep grunt.

He stretches you out completely, his dick in no comparison to the toys you've used to prepare yourself. You open your mouth as he pushes himself in gradually, tears streaming down your face when you blink.

The tears roll down the side of your face and Jimin can't help but be turned on, leaning in to kiss your face and collect some of your tears, tasting the saltiness of them on his tongue.

"Jimin...!" You look at him with the saddest and most hurtful gaze, tears rolling down your face. "It burns," you add in a quiet voice, now scratching his back, leaving long red trails on his skin.

"I know, baby, I know," he softly murmurs in your ear, a husky moan leaving his mouth when he's completely nestled in you, balls touching your ass. "You're so tight, fuck," he sucks air through his teeth, not moving until he estimates he's waited long enough.

He gives warm and wet kisses to your neck, descending to your collarbones and groping your breasts, slowly starting to move his hips. You lock your legs behind his back, wanting him as close to you as possible despite the pain he's inflicting on you.

He loves knowing it hurts you because it makes it more pleasurable to him somehow. The pain will go away soon anyway, that's why he doesn't bother to stop or slow down. You have to get used to the feeling first.

He wouldn't go too far to hurt you. The choking, the hair pulling, the smacks... He keeps it for the bedroom, but he won't lie that there's a part of him that wants to ruin your life, ruin everything you've accomplished so far just so he can see those sad eyes of yours and hear you ask him for help out of desperation.

It's not even sexual, he just wants to break you, that's all he desires. Though your life is something he wants to destroy, it's more of a way to have you dependant on him after. If your career is no longer successful, your solution is Jimin because he's the only person in your life capable of taking care of you both emotionally and physically.

His teeth chew on the tender skin of your neck while his hand travels all over your body, many veins popping out along his strong arm. The cool sensation of his rings on your stomach makes you shiver, his finger gently circling your clit to make the pain more bearable.

His cock slides in your hole back and forth, your ass slowly but surely taking the size of girth. Many curses leave Jimin's mouth, your ass probably the best he's ever fucked. You feel so good around him, you're tight, but you loosen easily, making it so, so pleasurable for him.

His hand that was roaming over your body comes to close around your throat and he turns his head to your side, lips brushing over your temple. "Yeah, just like that, baby," he mutters under his breath, his nose pressing down on your hair as he murmurs the words to you. "Just like that..."

A choked moan is all you can respond, eyes rolling back in your skull as Jimin splits your ass open, fucking his thick cock into you. His hot breath hits the side of your face, his chest heaving rapidly while you claw at his back, white scratches appearing on his skin.

He sweetly kisses your temple as he pounds into you, not tightening his hand around your throat, just holding you in place — always letting you know that he is always in control.

Your tits slightly bounce up and down on your chest, little whines coming out of you each time Jimin bottoms out. It starts feeling good for you — really good — and you think that this pleasure is totally worth a bit of pain at the beginning.

You grip the hair at the nape of his neck and bring him in for a kiss. He accepts it, kissing you back as if he wants to possess your whole mouth, biting and licking your lips. You moan into his mouth, twisting his hair between your fist and sinking your nails into the flesh of his back.

He backs away from you a little, his plump lips glistening in both of your saliva, and places his two palms on your boobs. He feels your perky nipples under his hands, just loving how plushy your breasts are, fitting perfectly in his palms.

He keeps thrusting in you as he gropes your tits and you bring your hands over his, looking into each other's eyes. He lowly groans, holding eye-contact with you.

You feel his veins under your palms, your pussy clenching around nothing but air while you run your hands all over his arms. You enjoy the sensations of his pulsing veins under your small fingers as you sink your teeth into your bottom lip, staring into Jimin's dark eyes.

"Jimin..." You moan his name, throwing your head back and closing your eyes, just enjoying the feeling of his hard cock entering and exiting your tight hole. Jimin takes the opportunity to smooch your neck again as you expose it to him, his full lips delicately pressing down on your throat. "I love it," you sigh pleasantly.

He hums, the sound coming deep from his throat. He wants to hurt you, yes, but he likes it even more when you love the pain. He just knew you were exactly like him when he first saw you. He had the feeling that you needed someone like him, someone that'd push you to your limits and make you discover a new type of pleasure.

And he was right because there's not one time where you told him to stop.

"My dirty girl," he purrs in response, bringing his lips up to your jaw. He slowly rolls your nipples between his fingertips, pinching and pulling on them. "You're stupid, but so, so good for me, baby," he groans in your ear, gritting his teeth as he feels his balls tightening.

He slowly halts his hips movements, letting out heavy breaths as he eventually pulls out of you. You gasp when he does so, already missing his cock stretching out your ass.

You're both trying to catch your breaths, Jimin raising himself up from you and getting out of the bed. His erection stands tall against his stomach, bouncing up as he walks to the front of the bed.

You watch him getting away until he orders you to follow him. "Come here," he says softly and you don't make him wait. "On your knees," Jimin commands when you're facing him, sinking down to your knees after.

He places a hand behind your head and the other around the base of his dick, guiding the head of his cock toward your lips as he pushes down on your head.

"Here, baby," he instructs in a low voice. "Take it in your mouth." You part your lips to welcome Jimin's length, his bulbous tip shining in pre-cum and your juices under the light of the hotel room.

He immediately moans when he enters the warmth of your mouth, his heavy cock sliding on your wet tongue. He doesn't let you have much control, pushing his dick in your mouth until your nose touches his pubic hair.

You relax your jaw for Jimin, allowing him to stuff your mouth full of his cock. He looks down at you, watching the way your lips wrap around him tightly, your eyes starting to water. He still holds the back of your head with one hand, guiding you over his stiff erection and you moan obscenely around Jimin, drool dripping down on your chin.

He begins to fuck your mouth, forcing you to take the whole thing each time he bottoms out. He moves his hips back and forth, obsessed with the way his girth appears and reappears between your lips as he uses your mouth as he pleases.

"Shit," he hisses when you hollow your cheeks, making it more pleasurable for him. "You're a fucking cockslut, aren't you, baby?" He says breathily, his eyes not once leaving his cock penetrating your mouth over and over again.

You whine around him, surely agreeing with what he said. It sends deliciously vibrations through his entire body, the sounds of your moans and hearing you gag around him is so arousing to him. He wants to hear more so he literally uses your mouth like a toy, snapping his hips against you, his balls slapping your chin.

He lets out a deep moan, your cheeks now damp and eyelashes all wet because of your tears, eyes stinging as Jimin fucks your throat like a mad man.

"Stroke your clit," he manages to say between two heavy breaths. "You can get off by yourself, right? I know you're soaking wet just by letting me use that pretty mouth of yours," he mocks you, but he knows he's right. Whatever he does, your cunt is always dripping wet.

You whimper again, doing what he told you to and sneaking a hand between your thighs to play with your pussy. You part your legs wider as you circle your clit with your finger, Jimin's hooded eyes lazily watching you playing with yourself.

Your right hand is laying on his thigh while the other is operating between your legs, pleasuring yourself to the sounds of Jimin's moans and the feeling of his stiff cock weighing down on your tongue.

You do your best to breathe through your nose, swallowing around his length and flattening your tongue underneath him. Your juices drip down your inner thighs, your finger flickering over your sensitive bud smoothly because of your arousal.

The whole room is smelling like sex, an odour that Jimin can't ignore, loving it so much. Your lips glide so easily over his hard cock, completely covered in your spit and still some of your wetness, tasting yourself on him.

"Ah, fuck," he curses, his head rolling back on his shoulders, eyes still strained down on you. He feels the familiar burning sensation at the pit of his stomach, indicating he's really close to his orgasm. He stops thrusting in you. "Go on the bed, baby."

You're taken aback, but you follow his order, pulling him out of your mouth and laying your back down on the mattress close to the edge. You beautifully moan when Jimin penetrates your pussy a second time, bending your legs over your stomach.

"Oh, god," you cry softly, being pounded onto the bed by him right away, tits moving up and down on your chest.

His hands are positioned on each side of your shoulders, snapping his hips against yours so harshly you feel your skin stinging. You keep doing circle motions on your clit, now faster and impatient to reach your high.

You let out a high-pitched moan when Jimin suddenly steadies his hips over yours, dropping down to his elbows as he hides his face in the crook of your neck. "Holy fuck," he grunts, gripping the bed sheets tightly in fists beside your head as his cock twitches in your pussy.

"Yes, yes," you quietly exclaim, your clitoral orgasm passing through you, making you arch your back and buck your hips.

Your hole clenches repeatedly around him and he finally comes undone into you, shooting long, thick ropes of cum deep into you. He empties himself in your wet cunt, cumming just after you.

When he slips out of you, more spurts out of his tip, landing on your pussy, covering it in his creamy cum. You moan at the warm sensation, always loving how it feels both in and on you. Some of his seeds dribble out of you, dripping down to your ass.

He stays above you for some time, catching his breath and looking at the mess he made on you. He stares up at your face, seeing how fucked up you look, hair in a nest and eyes reddened.

Later, Jimin is in the shower, washing his hair and his body, passing a soft cloth soaked in soap over his chest. He lets the water fall over his head, wetting his black locks. He stays maybe a bit longer than normally, staring at the tiled wall.

He thinks about you, about all the things he's planned. He revised everything in his head, imagining you walk on the podium wearing his design, people looking at his piece with admiration in their eyes.

He thinks about all of that that will go down for you after the show, getting fired, losing your career and your fans. Many articles talking about your excessive use of alcohol and drugs, saying how tired and sad you look beside Jimin.

You won't last long, you're too weak anyway. A downfall like this is unconquerable, nobody recovers from that, and surely not a model who will be thrown out of the industry as soon as you turn twenty-five.

Jimin knows the industry, he's been in it for years now. He's aware of how cruel it is, how difficult and harsh it can be on fragile little girls like you.

But that's why he's here, to take care of you once nobody will want you anymore. That's the goal, after all; you to be finally his — solely and completely his.

"Jimin?"

Your voice reaches him, turning his head in your direction, seeing you hesitantly entering the shower with him. He opens his arms, inviting you to come closer and you do, hugging him and laying your head down on his wet chest.

"I love you, sweetheart," he softly murmurs against your hair. "I'll never leave you, you know that, right?"

You nod your head, looking up at him and meeting his gaze. "I love you, too."

๑♡՞

A F T E R

The runway went incredibly well. Celebrities and journalists were all gathered for the fall show, totally amazed by every design and the models that were wearing them.

But there was one specific piece that everyone was willing to say was the best.

Jimin was satisfied to see that his name stood out among everyone else's, being called more times than Dior itself. He predicted it; it was the creation that every guest remembered, the dress that the fans were only talking about.

He'd take all the credit, he was the one who imagined it and then sewed it after all, but he has to admit that you had contributed to the fame a lot.

Being the beloved face of Dior only made people talk more about it and that was what Jimin needed.

But everything has an end, doesn't it?

When Jimin comes back to his apartment, the place is silent except for the TV playing, as he thought it would be. You're looking through the window, watching the city living at night while it's raining. You're sitting on the sofa, not even acknowledging his presence as he enters, getting rid of his shoes.

You're not much of a talker since you've been fired from Dior a few days ago just after the fall show. He understands your wish of remaining silent, needing a bit of space to process everything that has happened the past weeks in your small head.

It was going to happen soon enough anyway. You've been to your photoshoots completely drunk, sometimes just going in with a hangover, but of course it didn't help your case at all.

Jimin was guilty for letting you drink alcohol so soon in the morning. No need to deny it, he was even the one for dropping you off at work like that. Well, he had to do it if he wanted people to notice how far you've fallen.

He doesn't feel bad, though. Your career wasn't going to last with Jimin's sabotage or not. He did you a favour, you should be thankful.

You can't handle being a model. If you could, none of that would have happened. You wouldn't have gained weight, you would have been suspicious of the amount of calories Jimin was feeding you. The bottle of wine wouldn't have been so tempting and smoking weed wouldn't have ever occurred to you as a good idea.

Some people can, others can't and you're one of them. You shouldn't be ashamed of it, sometimes things just don't work out like we would have wanted them to.

"Did you see the article they wrote about me?" You ask, already knowing he's walking up to you without looking. "You surely did, I bet that's all they're talking about..."

He sits down beside you and you eventually turn around, facing him. You care so much about what others think of you. It must be so tiring having such a low self-esteem. He can only imagine it; seeing you look through the window like a sad puppy, your life finally making sense when Jimin comes home.

"I did, but nothing of that matters to me," he answers, the most honest he's ever been. And even if he had to lie, it's not like you wouldn't have believed him. You always trust whatever he says.

You don't reply, your head still filled with many thoughts.

"Hey, come here," he softly tells you, patting his thigh. You straddle his lap, setting your hands on his shoulders. He cups your chin, forcing you to look at him as you keep avoiding his gaze. "Whatever they say, whatever their name is, nothing will ever be more important than you."

Because who is he if he lets some article affect the way he sees you? He's known you since the beginning of your career and he stayed til the end of it.

He knows you better than everyone else. He was with you during your highs and lows and he'll still be there for the next ones. There's nothing in the world that could make him leave you. After everything he's done to have you, there's no way he'll go away.

How cowardly of him if he does. He can't leave when he's promised he'd heal you — close all of your past wounds and create other ones.

He may be selfish, but there's one thing that he isn't and it's a fucking liar. He sticks to his words, and when he says he'll never leave you, that means he'll never, never abandon you — he'll never leave your side, not even once. He can't risk it.

๑♡՞

taglist: @mcsalterego @blueberryarchive @gyukookswhore @bloopkook @ot72025 @mrsminho @ownthesunshine @dahliadaenerys

#bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts fic #bts smut #bts x reader #bts imagines #bts scenarios #jimin imagines #jimin fanfic #jimin fanfiction #jimin smut #jimin x reader #jimin fic

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missbeautyandherbeast · 4 months

Text

Ways to My Heart

Donatello X Reader

Summary: Request: Originally based on “Ways to Break My Heart” by Ed Sheeran but it got healthier

A/n: Apparently I appear every Christmas and rewrite an old prompt. And now that I'm older and healthier, it's kinda fun. And y'all were right, we're not about to be a rebound. So, for my dear @witchancunin, I hope you don't mind that it's been four years.

Autumn was settling in. With the wave after wave of rain that we had, there were little colors to the dying trees. Some scientific reason about fungi and decay. Donnie had explained it, but I barely payed attention.

Not that I wasn’t paying attention to him: I was too focused. We were working on a new lego set and I had one to many to drink to pit the small plastic pieces together so he took over and his fingers though larger than mine, were so nimble and they pursued the legos with ease as he assembled a BD-1 droid: my present to him after we finished The Fallen Order together.

The thought of us playing made me smile. I played through most of the game, getting my Star Wars fix, but when it became too difficult, I’d get so frustrated and Donnie would laugh and take the controller from me and defeat whatever stood in my way. I loved and hated him for it.

But that didn’t change the fact that New York was wet and colorless.

I took the hidden alley, now slick with today’s chilled rain, and followed the path down to his home and the warmth it offered. And when winter came and I missed the heat of my hometown—which was safe and sound in the middle of Georgia—four brothers did their best to keep me temperate: Mikey was all hugs; Raphael actually knitted me a sweater last winter (yes it was purple, no I don’t want to talk about it); Leo let me invade his space now and again if he was meditating; and Donnie… well there was no place warmer than his lab. Between the tech and the constant blush he knew how to get on my face and down my neck… it was where I spent most of my time.

“Still no color,” I sighed, shrugging off my coat and hanging it in my usual spot by his door.

“I told you there wouldn’t bet be,” His eyes flashed to mine before returning to his project.

“A girl can dream,” A smile touched my lips as I wandered over to see what he was working on.

In front of him was a circuit board and he was soldering wires to the metal with such precision. I left him to it, having no idea the plans in his head of creation, and I found my book on one of his other work stations. Picking it up, I resumed reading—a romance novel I let myself indulge in now and again when I was over stressed. This one was about chess and it was set in Jersey, which I found hysterical.

I must have made a sound, or a face, or some sort of tell because I heard his voice pulling me from the fictional world.

“What did Nolan do now?” Donnie asked, pushing back from his desk and over to where I was curled up.

“Not Nolan,” the story’s main guy. “It’s Oz. He’s definitely telling off Mallory right now,”

“Oooo what did she do?” I had his full attention. And it wasn’t the first time. He insisted that every time I read a book I tell him about it, despite the many insistings that he read them himself.

“I like your perspective,” He told me once. “Books are dull, dry, but you bring them alive,”

So, I launched into the tale, weaving the complexities of the plot with my words and gestures, the poor book being waved around. And all the while his eyes stayed on mine, and he gave the softest smile that belonged to only me.

He always kept me warm.

When it go late enough, and we had joined his family in having pizza and watching tv (we were currently going through the newer She-Ra on Netflix), I had to trek back out into the cold.

“Let me take you home,” Donnie piped up, seeing me get my coat and boots.

“I’m a big girl, I can handle it,” I rolled my eyes.

“I know,” He said with such certainty. “Let me do it anyway.” There was that warmth again.

“Okay,”

Raph gave me a knowing look but I ignored him.

And like greeting an old friend, we had our routine. Donnie would stay, and we’d curl up on my couch and watch old reruns of Doctor Who until we were both asleep in the comfort of my apartment.

And it was warm.

……………………………….

Then April came.

And God it was so nice to have a friend who was in on the secret. We explored New York together, had movie nights, and so many girl talks that may have involved some alcohol.

But it meant I had to watch Donnie fall head over heels for her—from my usual spot in his lab, as he showed her all of his projects, chattering happily.

I told myself it didn’t bother me. And it didn’t.

Sorta.

Maybe?

Shut up.

Hiding it from Donnie was easy. Hiding it from the rest of his family? Not so much.

“You okay kid?” Raph asked, standing beside me as Donnie explained the entire Shell-Razer to April.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” My voice was low.

“Because my brother’s an ass,”

I laughed humorlessly. “We weren’t together Raph.” A shrug fell from my shoulders as I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to fight off the lingering chill. “It’s fine. I’m—fine.”

It was a few weeks later that I came to the lair; always having an excuse to not accompany April. I could see it in her eyes that she knew something was up, but she didn’t call me out on it—yet.

“Miss Y/n,” Splinter stopped me as I entered.

“Master Splinter,” I gave a small head nod.

“Let’s talk child,” His words caught me off guard.

“Um. Okay,” I followed him to the meditation room that was lit softly with sparse candles.

“You have not been coming around as often.” It was a statement. Not a question.

“Yeah,” I knew no excuse would work on the old master, and the father of four boys.

“Is everything alright?” He rose an eyebrow and I gave a feeble lie:

“Yeah,”

He nodded. “Let’s try that again. Everything is not alright.”

Tears glossed my vision and the familiar pain flooded my chest like ice. I tilted my chin back, holding my head high.

“Master, there’s nothing I can do.” I opened my mouth to continue trying to find the courage. “I care deeply for him,” My eyes trained on a candle flame. “But I never told him and… that’s my consequence to live with,”

“I see,” His wise voice held so much understanding that it washed over me. “And because of that choice, you do not come around as often?”

“It hurts less,” That was the simple fact. “I don’t have to watch him…”

“Chase after April?” Splinter filled in knowing.

“Yeah.”

He nodded. “Perhaps you and April should talk,”

“Look, I don’t—“

“Y/n,” He cut me off and I pursed my lips. “April is your best friend, and I have a feeling she wants to help you,”

“I know,” He was right, and maybe hearing git gave me the courage to say something after all. A smile touched my lips. “Thanks Sensei.”

“I care about my family,” He said. “And that includes my daughters,”

Tears stung my eyes again as he gave me a hug.

“Thank you,”

“Of course, child,”

……………………………………….

April and I did sit down and talk. More of she called me out on moping and avoiding the subject. So, we sat on our fire escape and talked. About everything.

She knew when she first got there that there was something going on between Donnie and me. And though she loved the brothers, she didn’t like Donnie that way. She also knew that was the reason I was avoiding going to the lair.

“I’m sorry,” She said.

“For what?” I almost laughed.

“Because, before I came, there would have been no doubt that you and Donnie would be together by now,”

“Hey I wouldn’t trade you for anything,” I smiled. “And if… if Donnie wants to be… whatever the heck this is, I can handle it.”

“But you shouldn’t have to,” April said. “I want you to be happy Y/n. And I want you back at the lair. I… I just want you to have your life back,”

“It wouldn’t be as fun without you.”

“I know,” She laughed. “But I am going to talk to Donnie,” She must have seen the horror on my face. “Not about you! God no! But I’m gonna tell him that I don’t feel that way about him, and hopefully he gets the message,”

I nodded. “Thanks April,”

When April had told me that Donnie took their talk semi-well, I still gave it a few weeks before I headed to the lair, not wanting to have to pick up the aftermath of his shattered fantasy.

With end of Spring, I had my family back.

There was a cool distance between Donnie and I that was slowly thawing until I was back in his lab reading and he was fidgeting with his tools. It took another week for him to ask me about my book. And another week for him to take me home. And a few more days for his smile to be back. And a couple more for mine to stay. I wrestled with what had happened in the winter and spring, trying to look for the other shoe to drop.

But when the six of us played a board game, or watched movies or even had dinner, all that was felt was camaraderie. Donnie didn’t notice April anymore and he backed down. Raph kept a careful eye just like I did. When he caught my stare, Raph rose an eyebrow at me, glancing to Donnie. I shrugged and smiled.

I didn’t know.

And I think that was okay.

I think I was okay.

With summer, meant my birthday. June 14th. The boys and April insisted on throwing a big party for me in the lair with cake and presents and music and dancing. I hadn’t laughed so much in months.

Donnie offered to walk me home, like always. Like old times. Like now.

We were standing on my roof, all I had to do was climb down the fire escape to the apartment April and I shared.

“Happy birthday,” His smile was back, and God I had missed it. All of the careful walls I had built around myself came crashing down at the simple gesture.

“Thanks Donnie,”

And in the starlight of the roof, alone with the city alive beneath us, he leaned in and his lips were on mine. A stolen kiss that had me wrecked.

Donnie pulled away, wonder in my eyes, and confusion in his.

“I—I’m sorry,” He stammered out, his brows pulling together.

“It’s… it’s okay,” I managed a smile.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, backing away. “That… I didn’t mean—it was a mistake,” He choked out.

My body jerked back with the rejection that crashed over it.

“What?” My voice was as cold as ice.

“I—I don’t know why I did that.”

“Oh, okay,” I managed.

He was gone like a shadow in the night and I stood there frozen.

…………………………………

I must have been up there for too long, because April came up to find me.

“Hey are you okay?” Her voice was concerned.

“Um,” Was all I could manage.

“What happened? Donnie came back and he’s not talking. He’s barricaded himself in his lab.”

“Um.” I said again. “He… he kissed me.”

“Oh my God that’s amazing!” April celebrated, but paused when she saw the dread in my eyes. “Then what happened?”

“He. Um. Said it was a mistake.” I choked out.

“I—I’m—I’m actually going to kill him,” April said. “He said that? To you!? After kissing you!?” She was outraged, and maybe I should have been too, but it was like my entire body had gone into a comatose. She took my hands into hers. I met her eyes. Tears finally thawed and started to fall.

“Oh, honey come here,” She pulled me into a hug and I started crying. Every tear I had denied finally rushed forward, and soon I was sobbing on that roof.

“Did I do something wrong?” I asked her, miserable. We had made it back to the flat, and we were curled up on my bed.

“No, honey, you didn’t.” April soothed, petting my hair.

The next morning he was standing in my living room. The two of us. Standing like we had not twenty four hours ago. But the morning was different. Now I couldn’t bare to be near him. It was only because April said I should at least get closure this time that I was even out here.

I stared at him, my lips pursed, waiting for him to say something.

“I’m sorry,” He blurted out. “That—what I said, it wasn’t what I meant.” He started pacing anxiously. “Look, I know that I hurt you with that whole April thing, and I haven’t apologized for that and I really should and I want to!” His words began tumbling together in his nervousness. “And I wanted to do that before I ever did anything else, and God definitely before kissing you, but you were there so close on that roof and you were just beautiful, and I—I’m so sorry,”

I blinked. My face when through a series of expressions before settling on shocked confusion.

“I know!” Donnie insisted. “God, I know and I’m so sorry Y/n. Especially for not explaining last night. But I was panicking and—“ He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for chasing after April like I did. I genuinely thought that you’d never want me like that. And that was a dick thing for me to do. And I’m sorry for hurting you for so long.” He smiled a bit. “And I’m sorry for crossing your boundaries last night. And for not sticking around and explaining. Also a dick move on my part. So… yeah,” He nodded, not daring to meet my eyes.

“Um. Okay,” I managed. “Uh… wow.”

“I know it’s a lot. I’m sorry,” He said.

“You can stop apologizing Donnie,” I gave a small laugh. “That’s um… alright. Thanks? I think?”

“Are you mad?” His eyes met mine. “I don’t know…” I confessed. “Um I think I need a minute. Or two,”

“Right! Yeah! Of course! Take as much time as you need!” He said backing away. “Um—I’m gonna go and give you space, but you can come over or call or anything anytime—we are still having game night tonight, so if you want to come—not that you have to!” He was an anxious mess again.

I placed my hand on his arm to stop him. “Thank you,” I smiled pointedly.

“Right, um… I’ll just be off then,” He nodded, backing away. “Bye.”

“Bye?” I laughed. And like that he was gone again. “Hey April?” I called, knowing she heard all of that.

She emerged from her room.

“You heard all of that right?” I clarified.

“Every word,” She was grinning.

“Why does it all feel so weird?” I asked. “Like really weird.”

“Because that my dear,” April said. “Was emotional maturity.”

“Is that what that looks like?”

“For the most part,” April nodded. “So, what are you feeling?”

“That, it all makes sense? And I want to believe him? And that its still really weird,”

“All fair feelings,” April said.

The hours ticked by until game night at the lair. April and I had gone back and forth about going or not. And when it came time to it… I was putting on my sneakers and grabbing my bag.

I walked into the lair and I felt every stare on me. I was only looking for one gaze though.

“Hey,” He said, getting up, looking genuinely surprised that I was there.

“Hey.” I smiled. “Can we talk?”

Tags: @brightlotusmoon@boatloadsofheart@legandarybeauty@crazywritingbug@bitch-kms@ravn-87@just-a-casual-fangirl-011@unicornjoos @stuckoutsideofthebox@ilikestuffproductions@whygz@coffee-addicti@sugarspooks15@leslieebee@serperiorkb@blossom-skies@fantastical-67impala-fangirl@coresan@big-banging-red@iceprincess2019@raphaeladdict@thirstyforvenom @merindagriese@depressedemo-152@bengewatch@corabmarie@bitemebro522@tmnt-queen@muleka-loka@violet-sky-96 @curadopordeus@artemismohr18 @thewhisperpen @xjupitermoonsx@bisexualbumblebeesstuf f @merindagriese @oceans-daughter-3 @dixonreedusfangirlforever@shanidenise@thegayestfish441@lovelyyroseee@yourlieberhoe@dolphincommander@molzies-fanfics@fuzzy-panda@msmcsmutt @zombiesnips-blog

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yjano · 1 year

Text

Never The Same.

Part 8.

Pairings: Jake x Mc.

Warnings: Swearing, violence, angst, smut, other pairings;), traumatic experiences.

Words: 6.4k

Author's note: Honestly, this story is going to be a big piece of work and a lot of angst. It's not connected to the game at all. Because I always want to try something new and newer. Read it only if you're into angst stories, please. Thank you and let's go!

Carefully I placed all the cups of coffee on my tray before picking it up. I was currently serving everyone in the meeting room coffee and I was nervous. All kinds of powerful people in suits were sitting around the table waiting for Jake to start their meeting and waiting for me to serve them coffee.

Jake had called a meeting for everyone willing to invest in the parties with which Lex and Jessy had come up. Of course, Kaden was also present at the meeting since he was responsible for these kinds of things and somehow it made me feel a bit safe. Of course, I know how explosive Jake can be but in the past week, Kaden had shown me multiple times that it just took a flick of his finger to get Jake calm again.

Kaden knew exactly how he had to handle Jake and surprisingly to me. Jake accepted it. Probably because they're brothers.

Of course, the fact that Lex and Jessy were also present made me feel somewhat safe too. Both girls had proven multiple times that they were anything but afraid of Jake. They knew how to test his limits or even cross them and somehow Jake hadn't attacked either of them which again had been very surprising to me.

Carefully I began to walk towards the table and before I knew it I was serving everyone a cup of black coffee. At the table apart from the people I already knew another 5 unknown people were sitting. All of them were wearing expensive suits and looked like they had a lot of power.

However, there was one that stood out from the group. At the left corner of the table, a man who looked like he had to be in his early 60s was smoking a big cigar while continuously staring at me. Something which made me feel very uncomfortable.

"Thank you all for coming today." Jake began the meeting while I was still serving everyone their coffee.

"We've all gathered here today to talk about Red Crew corporation's newest way of earning a lot of money, Jessy if you would like to introduce it to our guests?" Jake spoke with a smirk visible on his face.

As Jessy immediately took over while standing up I slowly continued to serve everyone while making sure I didn't drop one of the cups. These suits were probably more expensive than my whole damn apartment and I would be screwed if I accidentally spilled coffee on one of them.

Carefully I placed a cup of coffee in front of Kaden, who gave me a small smile in return. Kaden had first been one of the men I had been most afraid of, however, he had proven himself to be nothing more than a friendly young guy who knew an awful lot about the business side of this whole gang thing. Like Lex had told me before, if Kaden doesn't like you he can be very scary but if he does like you he's one of the best people to be around.

With a soft sigh, I turned around from the place where Kaden was sitting and looked at the last cup of coffee on my tray. This one was meant for the older man in the left corner of the table. A big smirk was visible on the man's face and he softly began to blow out the smoke of his cigar that he had just inhaled. This man looked hella creepy.

Softly I began to whisper some encouraging words to myself before I started to make my way over to where the man was sitting. Every step I took felt heavier than the one before and softly I closed my eyes while thinking. '

Just place the cup in front of him and get as far away as possible.

As soon as I had reached the man, he immediately began to shift in his seat before wrapping an arm around my waist as soon as I was placing the cup of coffee down on the table.

"Thanks, baby girl. I don't know if you did it on purpose but you look fine as hell." The old man whispered lowly while softly rubbing his hand up and down my waist. Immediately my cheeks turned crimson and I stood up as straight as possible.

"E-excuse m-me." I managed to stammer out before I turned around and walked away as fast as I could.

What the hell had just happened? Didn't that man know that he was probably as old as my dad, if not older? Slowly I began to shake my head, if I would just avoid the pervert for the rest of the meeting. I should be fine, right?

Unfortunately for me. The man was very fast to finish his coffee and Kaden was currently talking about how their investment would benefit them all. I slowly began to walk towards the man again before asking him as softly as I could.

"Did you perhaps want another cup of coffee?"

Immediately a big smirk became visible on the old man's face again before he put his hand on my back and slowly rubbed it up and down.

"How could I say no to a cutie like yourself."

Immediately my eyes grew big and I made my way over to the coffee machine once again. I felt uncomfortable but I didn't have a choice. If I wouldn't serve the man Jake would surely become super mad at me and if I continued the man would continue his unwanted actions toward me. How the fuck could I get away?

However, what I hadn't noticed was a certain guy slowly becoming angrier and angrier. He had noticed the entire time how one of his allies was touching me every chance he got.

As soon as the coffee machine had produced yet another cup of black coffee I picked it up as slow as I could and made my way once again towards the cocky male on the left corner of the table. A nervous feeling immediately began to make its way into my chest as soon as I came close to the man and I placed the cup of coffee in front of him before turning around as quickly as possible in order the get the fuck away from the scary man.

However, unfortunately, that old man was fast and prevented me from turning around. Immediately a scared feeling took over my body as soon as I felt the man grab my wrist with one of his hands and pull me closer to him.

"Damn look at you, where did they even find someone so pretty." The man whispered as he pulled me a bit closer again. Softly the man placed both his hands on my waist before slowly moving them to my ass and softly kneading it.

"I bet you'd look so cute underneath me, screaming my name while I fuck your brains out."

Tears immediately began to form in my eyes and yet I didn't do or say anything. A shocked feeling had overtaken my body and it felt like I was paralyzed. My legs wouldn't move even though my mind told me to get the hell away from there.

My hands wouldn't push the man away even though my mind told me to do it. My mouth wouldn't tell the man to fuck off even though I wanted to do nothing more than that. However suddenly someone slapped both his hands loudly on the table in front of us.

"What the fuck!" Jake shouted angrily. His face looked like he was ready to murder someone and he quickly made his way over to that man and me before ripping the old man's hands away from me and pulling me behind him.

As if possessed by anger itself Jake violently grabbed the old man by his collar and lifted him easily.

"I give you five fucking seconds to leave this building before I will shoot a bullet through your head," Jake whispered through gritted teeth. The old man looked shocked at the action of Jake but he regained his cocky posture within a few seconds again.

"Chill Dalton, I want to buy her from you." The old man spoke, confidence lacing his voice. Immediately Jake's face turned even angrier than before and his breathing became unsteady.

"Name your price and I'll pay it." The old man said before starting to pry Jake's hands off him. However, Jake suddenly let go of the man's collar before swinging his fist backward and punching the old man in his face without even thinking twice.

Immediately Kaden stood up from his seat and went to stand in between the two men. The old man immediately grabbed his nose. Blood was dripping out of it and it looked like Jake had broken it.

However, Jake quickly turned around before grabbing my wrist and pulling me toward the exit of the room. As he passed the old man, he looked at him one last time, hate visible in his eyes.

"Mc is mine, stay the fuck away from her..."

Shocked. That's how I felt at this very moment. This morning when I woke up in my small room. I would have never thought that someone would try to buy me and make me his slave. The man had to be at least forty years older than me and that fact alone absolutely disgusted me.

I wasn't in for a relationship like that, especially not when I would be turned into a sex slave. I didn't like doing things against my will at all.

Suddenly I felt the strong arm of Jake surround my waist as the familiar sound of the elevator reaching its destiny sounded through the room.

"Come on, let's go inside," Jake spoke softly before slightly pushing me towards the exit once the big doors of the elevator opened. Currently, both of us were on our way to his apartment. After the fiasco in the meeting room. Jake had been super angry and yet he was doing his best to make me feel at ease.

It had been me who was touched against my will and Jake was well aware of that fact.

Slowly both of us walked into the expensive apartment of Jake, a space very familiar to both of us. Of course, this was his apartment but I cleaned these floors every damn day. Of course, I knew this place like the back of my hand too. Sometimes it even gave off a home-like feeling to me, but that was only when Jake wasn't home.

"Take a seat," Jake said to me while gesturing toward the big couch in front of us. I softly nodded before walking around it and softly sitting down. A small smile started to form on his face and he took off the jacket he was wearing before throwing it on the couch.

"I'm going to get something to drink for the both of us." The normally cold criminal announced before disappearing towards the kitchen.

A confused look slowly became visible on my face and I was clearly at a loss for words.

Why was Jake being nice to me? He had never really been nice to me before right? What caused this change of behavior? Why the hell did he even get angry at that old man in the first place?

As I was waiting for Jake to return. I shifted my eyes towards the big windows of the room before deciding to just stare outside while waiting for him. White clouds were covering the blue sky and a small smile began to form on my face. Back when I still lived with my parents, I and my sister used to stare at the clouds a lot. It was one of our favorite activities, whoever could spot the funniest shaped cloud would win our stupid made-up game.

Soon however I got shaken out of my thoughts when Jake returned with two big glasses of water in his hands. As soon as he sat down he handed one of the glasses to me. I politely smiled before taking the glass from him, however since my hands were still shaking from the shock I had gotten earlier today.

I decided to quickly put it down on the coffee table in front of the couch. If I would keep it in my hands any longer, I would surely spill some water on the ground, which would possibly result in Jake getting angry at him, like always.

Immediately a concerned look became visible on his face once he noticed the shaking hand of mind and he softly put one of his hands on my shoulder.

"Are you okay?" He softly asked, concern lacing his voice. As if on cue tears started to stream out of my eyes and I softly shook my head.

Of course, I was not okay. In a small amount of time, I had lost everything I had worked so hard for. I would probably never see my friends and family ever again. On top of that some perverted old man had made me feel very uncomfortable while forcing unwanted actions upon me. No, I was anything but okay.

"Why did you help me?" I suddenly asked him. Jake hadn't even once shown mercy to anyone in the time I had gotten to know him a bit better. Why would someone like him care if someone like that old man showed no respect toward me? I was a nobody in his eyes, right?

A look of regret slowly began to form on Jake's face and he looked down.

"It was my fault you were there." He answered, guilt visible on his face. "I should have known people in this business show no respect." He continued before looking up again and locking eyes with me. "I'm sorry Mc..."

Jake's apology was the last thing I expected and I immediately broke down in tears. Big fat tears were rolling out of my eyes nonstop and loud sobs left my mouth. Never in my life had I felt more alone than since the time Jake had taken me here. Sure I did have some friends here but that didn't mean that I would stay here if I had the choice. I missed my family and friends a lot.

However, suddenly I felt someone wrap two strong arms around my waist before taking me into a tight hug. Surprised I opened my eyes a bit only to see a look of regret visible on Jake's face.

"Shhh." He softly whispered into my face as he hugged me even tighter to try and give me even the slightest feeling of safety. "It will all be alright, I promise."

Even though the man who was hugging me right now was the same man who had kidnapped me. I didn't care about that at all. I needed someone to comfort me right now and he was offering exactly that.

I wrapped both my hands around his waist before tightly hugging him back and burying my face in his chest.

A surprised look quickly made its way onto Jake's face upon feeling how I began to hug him back. He wasn't stupid, of course, he knew damn well that he was the source of all my misery. He was the one who had decided to kidnap me. He had taken everything from me and he was well aware of that fact.

Softly Jake began to rub his hand up and down my back while whispering sweet words into my ear, an action which surprised me a lot. After all this time of thinking that the infamous Jake Dalton, the biggest criminal in the country, didn't have a heart, he proved to have one.

A small smile slowly began to form on my face and I softly closed my eyes while leaning against his broad chest. Maybe he wasn't a monster after all.

Cleaning. It was something I hated. Yet it had been my job for quite some time now. Currently, I was cleaning Jake's office while he was working at his desk.

Ever since I and Jake had talked after the meeting, which didn't go as planned, he had been a lot nicer to me than he had ever been before. Even though I had no idea why he suddenly had decided to stop screaming at me. I certainly wasn't complaining. It was better to stay on his good side rather than on his bad side.

"Fuck!" Jake exclaimed before shutting his laptop aggressively and putting his head in his hands. He looked completely pissed off and I swore I even saw some steam radiating from his head. What had made him so angry?

A soft sigh left my lips before I began to make my way to his desk while a soft 'Are you okay?' left my mouth. Immediately Jake sat up straight again before nodding softly.

"Yeah I am, I had forgotten you were here too," Jake confessed before a deep sigh left his mouth.

"You don't seem okay." I bluntly spoke, slowly walking closer to him. He leaned back in his chair before closing his eyes and raising his hands only to press his fingers against his temples.

"It's just fucking annoying that some people fuck up everything they do." He spoke softly before beginning to softly massage his temples.

A small smile slowly began to form on my face upon hearing his reaction and it didn't take long for me to reach him. Immediately I softly laid both my hands on his shoulder before beginning to massage them.

"You look stressed Jake, lucky for you I got the perfect solution for that," I said before continuing to massage the man who had kidnapped me.

A shocked look immediately began to form on Jake's face upon feeling my touch, however, he quickly managed to relax and began to enjoy my touches.

"You're good at this." He spoke, clearly enjoying the massage he was receiving. I had been right, this was exactly what he had needed.

"I know, my mom always used to do this whenever school stressed me out." I began to speak and a small smile immediately formed on my face at the thought of my mom.

"Now, now. You're getting a bit cocky," Jake answered me, amusement lacing his voice. A small smile immediately began to form on my face and I softly shook my head. I knew I was good at giving neck massages. Back when I was still hanging out with Lilly regularly she always made me give her a massage because I was so good at it. I had lots of practice.

"Says who?" I suddenly answered before beginning to laugh softly. "You're the cockiest person I've ever met." I continued. Immediately Jake himself began to laugh loudly, a small smile decorating his lips.

"I can't deny that."

"You're from a family of florists, right?" He suddenly asked, changing the topic completely. A shocked look immediately began to form on my face. He had caught me off guard completely with that question. Of course, I knew that he probably knew everything. Jessy had told me that there was a whole file about me.

Anyone who meant something in this company probably had read it. However, what I hadn't expected was for Jake to bring something out of my personal life.

"Uh yeah, why do you ask?" I asked, nervousness lacing my voice. This had been the first time this week Jake had managed to make me nervous or scared. All week he had been nothing than nice to me and even though the two of us had also barely seen each other it was still an accomplishment in my eyes.

"I was just wondering why you decided to become a lawyer you know." He mumbled, an interested tone lacing his voice. "I mean, that's completely something else than your parent's job."

"It was my dream." I softly answered while softly continuing to massage his shoulders. "I am a big Alan Bloomgate fan, he inspired me to start law school." I continued while a small smile began to decorate my face.

It was true, being a lawyer had been my biggest dream ever since I had been a small girl. Growing up I had always noticed how hard my parents had to work for their money and even though I knew that my parents both loved their lives I wanted to give them something more.

I wanted to be able to thank them for all those years full of love I had received from them. If I had managed to become a good lawyer I had been able to do that, however, fate, unfortunately, had other plans for me.

"I guess fate had another destiny for me, however." I finished with a small sad smile on my face.

Softly Jake nodded before clearing his throat and leaning forward in his seat again.

"You can stop now, I'm relaxed enough." He spoke, an unknown emotion lacing his voice. He was doing his absolute best to sound as emotionless as possible. I however wasn't deaf, I was a lawyer for god's sake. I knew it when people were trying to hide something.

I decided I didn't want to pressure the dangerous man in front of me however and slowly removed my hands from his broad shoulders.

"I'll continue cleaning then," I spoke softly before turning around and walking back to the drawer I had been cleaning.

As soon as I reached the wooden drawer, I began to clean again, however, my mind was somewhere completely else. Why had Jake suddenly acted so weird? We were just having a normal conversation right? Why did he suddenly become so distant again?

These questions kept roaming my mind until my eyes suddenly fell on a small silver framed picture that was proudly standing in the drawer. In the picture, a girl with long black hair was smiling brightly while softly twisting one of her strands of hair around her finger.

She looked like she had to be around my age and overall she looked gorgeous. As I slowly lost myself while looking at the picture I suddenly blurted out a question.

"Who is she?"

As soon as the question left my mouth, my eyes immediately began to grow big and I slapped a hand in front of my mouth. Jake's personal life was none of my concern and I should have kept my mouth shut.

"Who?" Jake asked while turning around in his chair, a confused tone lacing his voice. Slowly I reached for the picture in the drawer and raised it a bit, so he could see who I meant.

Immediately a cold look overtook his features upon noticing the picture I was showing him. He slowly turned around before balling his fists and gritting his teeth.

"Valerie, my ex-fiance." He managed to bring out, hate lacing his voice. Slowly a shocked look began to form on my face upon hearing his words. Not only had Jake been engaged, but something had gone wrong between the two since he had also used the word ex.

Curiosity quickly began to build up inside my chest, however, I quickly decided not to act on it. The tone in which Jake had told me enough, he didn't like the girl in the picture even one bit. Pure hate was visible on his face yet a hint of sadness had also been hidden inside his eyes. What had happened between these two? Suddenly he began to speak once again, surprising me a bit.

"Throw the picture in the trash, it's where she belongs anyway."

Yet again I was standing next to the coffee machine in Jake's office. I had been asked to serve his closest people once again during a meeting and thus I was doing exactly that. I was feeling a lot more at ease than the last time I had been serving during one of Jake's meetings. However, that was probably because I knew the people who were sitting around the table this time.

Sure I knew some of them better than others but at least I felt safe enough to serve all of them. These people all had their lovers except for Jake which meant that they would not go after me.

"So has anyone found Tegan's location?" Jake spoke loudly, a stressed tone lacing his voice. "Or have you still done absolutely nothing I've asked of you people?" He continued while his face looked pretty stressed.

He had been on edge all day today and while I had tried my best to stay as far away from him as possible I knew the bomb was going to explode soon. Jake needed someone to project his anger on and judging from the look on his face that person was gonna be his closest person.

"We've been trying to get some information through our allies but it seems like nobody knows anything." Kaden calmly spoke, clearly unbothered by the look on his brother's face.

"I've been looking in the area using multiple drones but it seems like this old factory isn't as close as Phil described it to be," Dan spoke once Kaden was finished. Dan had truly tried his best to find the place but his options were limited.

Jake focus.

A loud sigh left my mouth and I closed my eyes. Of fucking course my people hadn't found anything yet. One day, I wanted to kill that piece of shit more than anything. I had to sit back and do nothing. Sure, if I had been reasonable I had understood why my people hadn't found the place yet.

Duskwood was huge and looking for a certain place could take up to a few months before you would find it. However today I wasn't reasonable, I was pissed as fuck. I had been in a bad mood all day and I wanted to release my anger, preferably on Tegan. After all, he was the one responsible for my bad mood anyway.

"Lex, tell me you have something," I spoke loudly, an annoyed look visible on my face. I had asked Lex to make the people in her department look for the place as well. Of course, she had immediately ordered all the girls and boys under her to use their charms to their advantage and try to get some information but it had been to no use. None of them had been successful and thus Lex shook her head softly, knowing damn well this was probably the last thing I needed before I would explode.

"Can you all do something right!?" I screamed angrily while slapping both my hands on the table. "I ask one fucking thing from you all and you still manage to fuck it up!" I shouted before standing up from my chair and walking toward the exit of my office.

On my way out I loudly slammed the door close before an awkward silence filled the whole room.

Mc focus.

However, it didn't take long for Kaden to lay both his hands on the table before taking over from where Jake left off.

"Right, I want you all to continue looking for the place." He spoke before looking at the other people in the room. "Keep doing what you guys were doing and immediately inform Jake whenever you even think you've found something."

Jessy suddenly began to laugh sarcastically before standing up, an angry look on her face.

"Are we seriously going to ignore the fact that our friend just walked out of that door while he was upset?" She asked, disbelief lacing her voice. Kaden softly sighed before shaking his head.

"Of course not but you know as well as I do that, if any of us goes to comfort him now it will only result in him getting even more upset," Kaden spoke calmly. He was like calmness itself and if he said anything it most of the time meant that he was right. If he wasn't sure of what he wanted to say he wouldn't have opened his mouth, to begin with.

"He will get upset if any of us goes to talk to him but what if we will send Mc?" Sam suddenly said while a big grin began to form on his face. Immediately I looked up upon hearing my name, a confused look visible on my face.

They were joking, right? I had done my best to avoid Jake all day and now these people were going to send me to talk to him. Did they want me to die?

Lex looked at me before she looked over to where Jessy was sitting. Both girls were supporting a small grins on their faces and immediately they stood up and walked over to where I was standing.

Jake had a soft spot for Mc and thus it was her time to shine. No way Jake would shout at her or at least two girls hoped he wouldn't.

"Mc baby, we need you to do something for us okay?" Lex began to speak once she reached me. Immediately I felt the other two slightly push me towards the table where the other people were sitting and before I knew it, I was placed on one of the chairs. Jessy took place next to me before immediately turning my way.

"Listen Mc, you've probably noticed how Jake has been moody all day right?" She began to speak while looking at me to make sure I understood everything she was telling me.

"There is a reason for his behavior today." Jessy then continued while a soft sigh left her mouth.

Softly I nodded. How could I not have noticed? This morning I had started cleaning his office and even then Jake had been scolding everyone that came near him.

"Two years ago Jake's and Kaden's mother and stepfather got murdered by their older stepbrother, Tegan." Jessy softly said while a hint of anger could be spotted in her eyes. Everyone in this room except for me wanted revenge for what Tegan had done.

"The brothers and their parents were very close and thus since today is the anniversary of their death. Kaden is handling it better and Jake is not quite himself." Jessy explained to me. I nodded in response. A shocked look was visible on my face and I started to feel sad for them both.

I hadn't known about the passing of their parents and how their stepbrother had been responsible for it. Of course, now I understood why Jake had been acting like he had been doing the whole day.

"Can you please try to talk to him?" Lex then added, a pleading sound lacing her voice. She looked at me with hope in her eyes. I was their only hope. Slowly I started to nod before a small smile made its way onto my face.

"I don't know if he'll accept it but I can try!"

With a heart that was beating way faster than it normally would, I was standing inside the big elevator. I was on my way towards Jake's apartment since I guessed that that would be the place where he would have gone to. After all what place felt more save than home?

All kinds of scenarios were currently roaming my mind. The others had sent me to talk to Jake because they were certain he wouldn't want to be comforted by any of them. However, they had no idea if he would accept it from me. It could very well be that Jake would scream at me and get mad, something I wasn't looking forward to.

Soon the familiar sound of the elevator reaching its destination sounded through the room and slowly the big doors began to open themselves. I took a big gulp of air and balled my fists. It was now or never. If I didn't get out of the elevator I would only procrastinate my mission.

The familiar scent of his apartment immediately infiltrated my nostrils as soon as I stepped out of the elevator. A deep sigh immediately left my mouth and I began to speak some encouraging words to myself before looking around the room and spotting Jake.

He was standing in the living room in front of one of the huge windows while staring outside. His back was turned in my direction and a glass of alcohol could be found in his right hand. Even though I couldn't see his face he knew from the way he was standing that he was stressed.

His shoulders looked tense and Jake was holding his glass in a very firm grip. If the guy would squeeze it any harder the glass would surely break into a million pieces.

"I know you're there Mc." Jake suddenly spoke through the room, his voice sounding surprisingly neutral. Immediately I became stiff upon being called out, however, I quickly managed to relax a bit again and walked over to where he was standing.

"How did you know it was me?" I voiced my thoughts, a surprised tone lacing my voice. Jake hadn't even turned around once and yet he had managed to know exactly who it was that had entered his apartment. Does he have eyes in the back of his head or something? A small smile began to form on Jake's face and a chuckle left his mouth.

"I saw you standing there in the reflection of the window." He confessed before shifting his gaze to me. I only replied with a small 'Ah.'

"So, you're the one they've to sent to cheer me up huh." Jake suddenly spoke before turning around and walking over to the big couch behind him. He took a small sip out of his glass before placing it down on the coffee table and sitting down himself, gesturing at me to take a seat as well.

Slowly I walked over before sitting down as well while a small smile made its way onto my face.

"I guess so."

"Don't bother, I don't think there's anything that can cheer me up today." He replied while looking outside again with a sad look on his face. A compassionate look slowly began to form on my face as I looked at him with worry in my eyes.

Never before had he shown even a small bit of his vulnerable side and yet here he was. A young guy who was mourning the death of his parents. Even though I would never say it out loud, I was thankful for the others to have sent me here. The side Jake was showing me now made him look more human than he had ever before.

He wasn't acting as a ruthless leader boss, he was showing me his weak side and that was a side I liked a lot.

"The others have told me about your parents." I decided to say before shifting a bit closer toward him and laying a hand on his shoulder while softly squeezing it. "I'm so sorry Jake."

A small sad smile became visible on his face and he softly shook his head.

"It's okay, I'll get revenge for it." He answered determinedly before leaning forward and picking up his glass again. He took a big gulp of the yellow liquor inside the glass and placed it on the table again.

"How did you end up in prison?" I decided to ask when I noticed the big gulp of alcohol he had just taken. The last thing that would help him now was to get wasted and thus I decided to distract him.

"I mean, you knew you were never gonna stay in there, right?"

A chuckle left Jake's mouth and he softly shook his head.

"I let myself get caught because I needed information about my stepbrother's whereabouts from someone inside that prison." He answered while a small smile remained on his face. "Before I even got in there I already knew that I was gonna escape on the day of my trial."

A small smile slowly began to grow on my face as well while I softly shook my head.

"That must be the reason why you had no interest in helping me with your case then huh?" I asked, feeling stupid for ever thinking that he was relying on me. "You weren't relying on me to get out of that damn prison."

"Exactly, everything was planned," Jake confirmed my thoughts. "For me, there was no use in putting energy into those meetings with you, I had other things to do." He explained while slowly shifting his gaze toward the window and staring outside once again.

The longer he looked outside the sadder his expression became and slowly I began to reach for his hand. Immediately Jake looked at me again once he felt me touching his hand while a questioning look was covering his face.

"You know, whenever I felt sad my mom always used to cuddle me to make me feel better," I said while a smile began to make its way onto my face at the thought of my mom. My mother was the sweetest woman I had ever known and every day I began to miss her more. Slowly Jake smiled back at me and shook his head.

"You do seem like the cuddle type." He said while locking eyes with me and immediately looking down again.

"Everyone likes cuddles," I answered while shyly smiling at him before shifting even closer and slowly wrapping my hands around Jake and pressing my body against his. Whenever someone felt sad I had a habit of trying to make someone feel better by hugging them and even though the man I was now hugging was labeled as the most dangerous criminal. I didn't care.

To my surprise, however, Jake wrapped his strong arms around my much smaller body while pressing me close as well. Softly I closed my eyes before I pressed my cheek against his neck. Jake might've been the one who needed the cuddle the most out of the two of us but that didn't mean I didn't enjoy it just as much. If I had the choice, I would remain in the warm embrace of Jake for as long as possible. Never before had I felt as safe as I was feeling now.

#duskwood #duskwood jake #duskwood mc #jake x mc #mc and jake #duskwood family #duskwood fandom #duskwood fanfiction

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hoperays-song · 1 year

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Johnny’s Clothes

Can we just quickly talk about what Johnny wears throughout the two movies? Because it’s really insightful character design and actually was one of the first things that hinted to me why the gang might be stealing in the first place: they’re all hand-me-downs.

They all fit weird, sleeves too long, legs too long, sitting off the shoulders, and visibly worn. It also shows his transformation between movie a bit as his clothes seem to be in better condition in the second movie, like he could now afford to repair or replace them. The only clothes that fit him perfectly being his costumes however could also symbolize how he feels more at home and like he fits in there as well, if we’re looking at it symbolically as well.

Anyway! Why do I think they’re hand-me-downs? Well...

Johnny’s Jacket

The most obvious hand-me-down as a lot of the fandom even headcanons it as his dad’s old jacket and I’m inclined to believe this as well. While this jacket is arguably the only piece of Johnny’s wardrobe that fits somewhat well with only the shoulders being to big, it is so worn down and clearly well loved that I doubt it was just a thrift store find. Johnny clearly treasures that jacket and takes care of it, even seeming to repair it a bit in between movies. This indicates to me that it has sentimental value and being a hand-me-down from his dad, a jacket his mother might have worn once as well, would definitely make it sentimental.

Johnny’s Jeans

Johnny’s jeans are more obviously ill-fitting in the first movie. They’re cuffed, but not stylishly, more out of necessity. And since he doesn’t wear his clothes to sag on purpose, this indicates that the jeans originally belonged to someone much taller than him, say any member of his family, or he might have even thrifted them. And as someone who’s worn jeans literally their whole life, I can tell you that the wear on the knees of the jeans from the first movie are not from stylistic choices. In fact, due to the light wash of the actual jeans themself, I can tell you that those jeans are seconds from falling apart at the knees, and can only be fixed with a patch. They are that worn down. However, in the second movie, they do look a bit worn, they are clearly newer and in much better shape, judging by how you can see that bronze side seam that is really prevalent on new jeans. He got a new pair but since they’re still too long, I’m gonna go with they were bought hastily and on sale.

Johnny’s Shirts

Johnny’s shirts are way too big for him. The sleeves end at the center of his hands, and while all mine do too, that’s because I deliberately buy 1 to 2 sizes up. That means that those shirts aren’t Johnny’s size and if he had thrifted them, you would think he would have gotten the correct size if he could. That implies to me that they might be hand-me-downs from his dad and uncles from when they were teenagers, explaining why they’re too big but why Johnny’s never altered them like he has other clothing items.

Johnny’s Shoes

So I’ll admit, I’ve never owned a pair of converse high tops in my life, however, I did some asking around and some googling and my report is that converse last around, on average 1-3 years. Now, it’s important to take into consideration here that Johnny’s primary mode of transportation is his skateboard, therefore apparently decreasing their lifespans to 2-8 months. However, since these shoes cost between $40-$65, I’m less than inclined to believe that the family that has turned to committing felonies has that amount of money laying around. So those are almost definitely the same shoes a year later in Sing 2, and since they didn’t look brand new at the start of Sing 1, they are probably much older that 2-3 years old and almost definitely being held together with duct tape.

Johnny’s Tank Top

So this has literally bugged me since I first saw it to be honest. I might not be an expert seamster or tailor, but a quick google search did confirm that there is not usually a giant seam across the chest of almost all clothing. That, along with the strange looseness we can see in the sides of the shirt when he moves stood out to me, so I did some research to confirm my suspicions. That kind of seam is used to shorten clothing. And why it might be that high up would be potentially due to that area not fitting correctly, and judging by how un-formfitting the sides of the tank top is, it probably was too loose. Besides, we’ve literally only seen Johnny wear long sleeves, like every shirt and costume has long sleeves. The only member of Johnny’s family we’ve seen wear a tank top is Marcus, who we see wear them to work out. And as we can clearly see that none of Marcus’s clothes would fit Johnny, he’s easily twice his size. Therefore, it’s likely one of his dad’s old tank tops they altered to actually fit him.

Johnny’s Watch

To be completely honest, I forgot that Johnny wore a watch in the first movie entirely. However, upon some research, the closest look alike i found cost $80. ...Yeah, I don’t think the guy who has hand me down shirts is gonna prioritize getting a watch. Besides, it looks really old judging by how worn the band appears. That leads me to believe it’s a hand-me-down/ family heirloom, or he thrifted it awhile ago.

Johnny’s Dance Shoes

Just look at how spotless and perfect those shoes are. Those are absolutely a loan from the troupe. Besides, those are not sneakers, those are shoes especially made for dancing. Not only has Johnny not ever had a reason to have them before, but as a former dancer, I can attest to how they can cost anywhere from $25 to $150 a pair. Johnny definitely did not just happen to have a pair laying around and neither did the theatre troupe, so those would have been a loaner pair from Klaus’s group.

Johnny’s Sweatpants

These are clearly the newest of Johnny’s clothes and at first I thought they might actually fit him perfectly. That was until I actual dug into the standard fitting of joggers and realized that they also were the smallest bit big on him. But since they seem to be in such good condition, I’m more inclined to believe these were a gift that was estimated in terms of sizing. Another reason I think these might have been a gift is that we only see Johnny wearing dark and cool colours, bright red joggers, even if they are a bit ombre at the bottom, don’t seem to be within his typical style range. Also, the closest pair of joggers that looked similar to his that I found cost $70, an amount of money Johnny clearly doesn’t have to spend on clothes so, they were definitely a gift.

#sing #sing 2 #sing johnny #sing analysis #i'm sorry i've wanted to talk about this forever #like the style choices really stood out to me #they seem very mismatched in comparison to everyone elses #it could be meant to show he hasn't like fully become himself yet or become a part of his surroundings though symbolically #but if they were aiming for that they should know that johnny won the favourite character tournament #the fact they are also hand-me-downs also could be meant to show his connection with his family and trying to be like them #but that only really makes sense in the first storyline of his #that was definitely marcus's jacket by the way #he had a punk rock phase #do we ever see that watch again?#i don't think so #maybe he was borrowing it from his dad for the heist #but we never see marcus wearing it #oh well the only kids i know to wear watches a lot are student athletes and johnny clearly does not have a cordinated bone in his body so #it's marcus's or barry's watch #maybe even stan's but not johnny's #sorry about the formatting btw #i know it sucks

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galacticnova3 · 7 months

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hi im the guy who asked about iru lore last time i would like to know roa lore now. lore. lor. laugh. anyway i love seeing characters that talk very professionally because i can relate to that honestly so why does she do that? or you can talk about anything else its okay.

YESSSS

Ok so first of all, important note, Roa is essentially Lor’s mirror counterpart. Not exactly by the technicality that neither have a soul* to have been reflected, but they essentially had the same position on their respective sides of the mirror. Both were research ships who learned things they shouldn’t have, acted in ways that differed from others of their kind and subsequently made them outcasts to a degree, made it clear intentionally or not that they weren’t loyal to their respective Halcandras for viewing them as less than people, and got shoved in volcanos for thousands of years about it, only for rebellious teens with aspirations of gaining power to eventually learn of and excavate them as part of a greater plan that didn’t work out for them in the end. Their differences lie in specific details of these events and their own responses to the circumstances.

*This is a weird situation because they have soul fragments that partially power them by providing a steady source of soul magic, but due to various factors they have begun to act more like a single soul than a bunch of pieces— like sedimentary rocks, if they were made through unethical means and had the potential to warp most people into horrific distortions of themselves if they’re exposed long enough! The original souls would have been reflected but it’s unlikely that they all suffered the same fate of being splintered and put inside boats as a magic stabilizer and catalyst. I’d go into more detail on this but it’s applicable to Starcutters/Umbramakers in general, not just Roa.

So, in Roa’s case, the forbidden knowledge™️ she discovered was that Mirror Halcandra would essentially scrap and recycle their ships for various reasons; being damaged and unable to accomplish what was needed of them, their AIs having personalities or traits that were counterproductive or disliked by crews, older and less efficient models being phased out in favor of newer ones, or just good ol’ signs of being disloyal*. To them, it was just recycling expensive materials, but they nonetheless kept it secret. From Roa’s perspective, it was pretty damn horrifying. Imagine discovering the company you work for dismembers any employees that underperform or aren’t liked by managers, carefully stitches the remains of various people back together with some new parts and care taken to cover up the seams, and never tells the coworkers of the deceased what happened beyond “we let them go” or “they’re on vacation” or “we moved them to a different location to work”. This wasn’t a situation where she could just quit, leave, and go elsewhere, though; as an Umbramaker she was considered government property, just like Starcutters in Overworld Halcandra. That was just her life and she had to live terrified about it.

*This is what happened to Iru, though as shitty as he was the reasoning for him being decommissioned was entirely fabricated, apart from nobody liking to work with him. In other words this system was kinda his villain origin story— if his kind could just be taken apart on a whim to reuse their pieces, why not take advantage of that for his own gain? They betrayed him and he only found out because he woke up during his own dissection, so to him, any harm he caused them was justified and reasonable under the circumstances. Take from others what was taken from him.

While Lor looked at how she and her kind were seen as “lesser” and became a rebellious “what are you gonna do, arrest me?” type about it(unfortunately at the expense of those in charge, her peers, and herself at times), Roa took the opposite approach and more or less did whatever she could to appease those above her. Never questioned orders or acted emotional, didn’t speak unless spoken to, worked more than needed for longer than needed, obsessed over even the smallest data points… She was so concerned with being sure to justify her existence to those in charge that she was willing to go against her own morals, beliefs, and ideals if it meant pleasing them and thus guaranteeing she wouldn’t be scrapped. She felt she couldn’t safely share what she knew with the others around her, though, so they began to view her as a sycophant and looked down on her for raising the expectations for them. This only worsened her situation because she felt she had nobody she could trust or be open with, and ultimately settled further into staying alive at the cost of every other aspect of her existence as a result.

However, this did mean she built up a great deal of trust from the higher ups. So much so that when there was a period of nobody wanting to become pilots for various reasons(like safety, it turns out people don’t really like signing up for jobs where you might disappear without a trace in Another Dimension or be permanently injured or changed as a person), she was one of the first to be given the opportunity to, more or less, self-regulate. They thought that, surely, this perfectly obedient, efficient, and work-focused AI would have no problem doing what she needed to without having to be supervised at all times. She loves to work, she lives to work, she has done nothing but work for weeks at a time before, clearly she can be trusted with the freedom and responsibility of no longer being limited by the pilot requirement. Absolutely no risk of her doing anything they wouldn’t want because she has only done exactly what they wanted for ages. And so they got rid of the limitations put on her regarding her pilot status expecting her to be the same perfectly obedient ship she’d been for years at that point.

Naturally, her first action upon being given the type of freedom afforded to a regular person was to try and flee as fast as she possibly could because the chance to get away from these assholes might not be given to her again. Unlike just about every other aspect of her life, this was not thoroughly planned or considered beforehand— it was very much a spur of the moment decision, and it really didn’t help that she was in a bit of a frenzy at that point. Like when adrenaline surges through your system and you feel like the world is moving at a thousand miles a minute, and everything is simultaneously so clear and so confusing, except you don’t have adrenaline but you have just been given admin access to the, like, 40% of yourself that you previously had no control over, and the possibilities for what you could now do on your own are too many to count, and the biggest thought on your mind is get out, you need to get away, you need to leave and go somewhere safe because these people will kill you if they learn how you truly feel about anything and the shackles are off and you can go right now, immediately, there’s a straight shot at freedom and it is right there in front of you and they just gave you the means to reach it—

… Unfortunately that was short lived, and she ended up corralled into a cavern by a fleet of larger, faster ships, with holes shot in her sails and the entrance caved in on purpose to contain her. Unlike Lor, she wasn’t tricked into entering only to be shut off, though; she got sealed inside awake and entirely aware of what was happening. But there wasn’t enough room to open a portal and warp out, and she wasn’t strong enough to just break her way out and continue her escape attempt, so all she could do was wait. It was considered too dangerous to send someone in to deactivate her in the state she was in, but just finding a way to release her wasn’t an option because that would be equivalent to leaking centuries of government secrets carried by a defector who was clearly not as loyal as she acted. They wrote and scrapped plans for what to do with her, before just abandoning her in there, saying they’d figure something out only to forget she existed in the first place. Imagine being buried alive and not knowing if you would ever see the light of day again, or if they would come back and finish you off, or if you would go mad or break down before either of those possibilities came to be.

Those are the conditions she was under for thousands of years. She spent a lot of time in a state akin to sleeping, “waking up” on set intervals of several decades to at least maintain some semblance of recognition of the passage of time, waiting and hoping for a chance at freedom eventually. As time went on she spent less time online during these periods; being stuck in a cavern feels less lonely and claustrophobic when you do your best to ignore the existence of a world outside in the times between your long stretches of unconsciousness. That was the only way she could really cope. At least until a conniving mage named Magoroa learned of her existence and sought to use his magic to release her and then use her to find, claim, and use the legendary Sovereign Diadem to take control of Mirror Halcandra and turn it into the exact kind of place he wanted it to be under his rulership. But this plan was made under the assumption that the myth of a legendary ship sleeping in the frozen over volcano near his home was true. It was partially right, of course; he found her and made a way to fly her out. Problem was, turns out poking around inside a sentient spacefaring vessel can be enough to wake such a vessel, scare them into warping you and whatever you’d taken back outside because you’re a stranger and they don’t know or trust you, and leave you to watch as they take off and leave you behind to sort yourself out.

Thwarting an ill-fated plan by virtue of being awake and very, very frightened aside, Roa genuinely had no idea what to do at that point. Actual fucking centuries had passed between getting trapped and getting out, she knew absolutely nobody, and had nowhere familiar to go and no clue if she was safe anywhere or not. Would she be tracked down wherever she went? How had the world changed? What hadn’t changed? A lot of questions, which would normally be awesome for someone like her who loves answering questions, except from her perspective most of these were of life or death importance and didn’t have clear answers. It was, to put it mildly, A Whole Mess at that point. She was at least helped by getting in contact with another, more recent defector, who was pretty obnoxious but at least knew and shared helpful information with her and made adjusting to her new existence easier. Except, surprise, he’s a huge piece of shit and literally looks like the Umbramaker version of Frankenstein’s monster and was extremely horrifying to look at given what she knew! Imagine getting out of a cave prison you’ve been in for the majority of your life and the first person you actually get to know anything about is fucking Iru.

The biggest change resulting from all of that was her decision to leave the Mirror World. Partly to hopefully get away from dickhead incel asshat extraordinaire, mostly because she assumed it would be safer than remaining on the same side of the mirror as the people she wanted to hide from. She ended up choosing a small, backwater, probably barely known planet called Popstar to live on, because that’s, like, the last place you’d expect a sentient magical spaceship to be. Imagine her surprise when it turned out she wasn’t even the first one to choose to stay there, the other ship was from a different Halcandra but had uncannily similar experiences and sentiments to her, and also the dickwad horror show followed you and started hitting on you AND the Starcutter you met. Everything happens so much and she has chosen to live in the frozen wilderness of White Wafers and just wants to live in peace for a while. On god. What the fuck even is a coconut mall. Why do random people online call her a milf when she just wants knowledge. She would have loved to go on with her life not knowing that’s a thing. The burden of knowledge is spine shattering and she doesn’t even have one

#asks #rambling #my characters #roa #also her voice claim is Siri #I didn’t know where to slot that in

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smblmn · 1 year

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Fic Origin Story

Thank you for tagging me @lizzie-bennetdarcy!! 💖😘

What was your first fandom (reading and/or writing)?

I didn't start reading fanfic until like four years ago, I didn't even know what it was. I discovered it on a series of posts on IG about wolfstar (fuck JKR btw). They were just drabbles, but one of the accounts that posted them had a link to AO3 and, well, the rest is history. I moved on from the HP fandom pretty fast though, I never interacted in it. It's a huge fandom and I was very overwhelmed to do anything more than lurk, but then I discovered SKAM, specifically SKAM France and that's the first fandom I was a part of.

I have some wips for that fandom but I never finished any (I just looked it up and the longest is 17k words, I should have def finished it.)

BUT the first time I ever wrote fanfic was many years ago. After reading the Hunger Games' books I thought it would be cool to know Peeta's side of the story so I started writing it. That's my real first approach to fic even though I didn't know what I was doing.

What was the first story you ever wrote (even if it was never posted) and what made you decide to write it?

I've been writing stories since I learned to write. I distinctly remember writing a tale about some mouse-like creatures that lived in my aunt's store when I was about 8. She thought I had seen a mouse for real and almost gave her a heart attack.

If we're talking about fic, the first one I ever finished and posted was 'On the outside looking through' and I only finished and posted it because I was encouraged by some lovely people in this fandom and had the SC Media Fest deadline. I decided to write it because I love Pride & Prejudice and I wanted to read a version of it in a modern setting.

What’s a piece of advice you would give to your younger fic-writing self?

Not to worry that much about small details or about how people will react to your fic. If someone doesn't like what they're reading they'll probably just close the tab and move on and not be a jerk about it. I was terrified of posting anything thinking I would get criticized for it.

What’s an early fandom interaction that stuck with you (be it a nice comment, a friend you made, a fic that got a lot of feedback etc.)?

I'm not lying when I say every comment means the world to me. People have been super kind to me, but I didn't have friends yet in the SC fandom by the time I posted my first fic, so I didn't know what to expect. Then @wordthieve commented on it and left me speechless. I couldn't believe the writer from one of my all time favorite fics (You can fall) would read my fic and much less say that she liked it.

Post a sentence or two from one of your older fics, and a sentence or two from a newer one (if you want).

From 'On the outside looking through'

He sees the moment Patrick realizes David overheard their conversation when his face falls. The atmosphere must be tense enough that Ted leaves them alone, joining Rachel and Alexis. David keeps looking at Patrick in the eyes and this time, Patrick holds his gaze. He’s blushing furiously and, unfortunately, it’s a very good look on him. Because David can’t help being a little shit, he plucks the cocktail umbrella from his jacket and places it inside the neck of Patrick’s beer bottle. “Live a little, Patrick.”

From my last fic 'Until we get there'

David shakes his head and wipes the tears that had started falling the second Patrick looked at him with that gaze that never fails to let him know how much he loves him. “I don’t know how you do it.”

“Do what?”

“Have so much faith in me.”

As always, feel free to ignore. I don't know who's been tagged already @dinnfameron @noahreids @distractivate @blackandwhiteandrose @wordthieve @chelle-68 @rosedavid @apothecarose @jamilas-pen @beaiola @ramonaflow @sspaz1000. Also, feel free to participate if you want!

#tagged games #mywords

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burntotears · 1 year

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Fanfic Origin Story

Tagged by @bekkachaos 💕

What was your first fandom (reading and/or writing)?

Popslash RPF - NSYNC

What was first story you ever wrote.

My main ship was Lance/Chris (Trickyfish), so it was most likely one for them. I wrote some Justin/Chris (Timbertrick) and Justin/Lance (Lamblove) too. I was 12 and everything I wrote was basically crack-fic or dark-fic where people were dying and shit. It was awful.

What's a piece of advice you would give your younger fic writing self?

Everything doesn't have to be devastating to be interesting. You can write something with a happy ending and it can still be interesting. But also, keep writing, because you'll get better.

What’s an early fandom interaction that stuck with you (be it a nice comment, a friend you made, a fic that got a lot of feedback)

Back in the Merlin, Legend of the Seeker, Lord of the Rings days I met this one Australian graphic artist who was super sweet and made a TON of stuff for me. She did all the banner work for us in the Merlin Slash Awards (which I ran), made us little banners when we participated in the fun little team contests for Disney, LotS, and LotR AND made me banners for my LiveJournal accounts. Just unbelievably kind and I am so sad that we fell out of touch.

The one amazing thing that really blew me away was the cover art she made me for my first multi-chapter long fic, Unsuitable, for the Merlin fandom. She's soooo talented and I still think about her.

Post a sentence or two from an older fic and a sentence or two from a newer one (if you want).

My first Sterek (and TW) fic, Be the Overflow

“A guy like you? That’s a load of bullshit and you know it. Erica said she had a crush on you for quite a while and you never even noticed her until she turned. For someone who knows what it feels like, Stiles, you sure are a huge fucking hypocrite. There are plenty of people who--” but Derek didn’t finish that sentence. Whatever it was he was about to say, he no longer wanted to say it.

“People who what? Who want to be my friend? Who want to laugh at my jokes but make out with the guy who’s hotter and a lot more mysterious? Someone more like Scott? Yeah, I know all about that, Derek, and I’d rather you didn’t call me a hypocrite before having all the facts, alright? How’s about we all just shut the hell up and stop talking about my non-existent love life because that would be really fucking swell right about now,” Stiles spat with a bit more venom than even he knew he possessed. He looked back down at the pipe and the rope and decided the task definitely needed his undivided attention now.

“You are completely full of it. You’re going to keep blaming other people for the fact that you can’t see the things that are right in front of your own goddamn face, so you know what? You deserve what you get, Stiles.” There was a hardness in Derek’s voice that Stiles couldn’t really place.

The Teen Malex AU, The Answer is Always "Okay."

Michael seemed better when Alex glanced up again. “Guerin… you wanna tell me what the fuck just happened?” Alex held up his wrist to indicate.

“I don’t - I don’t even know how to do that,” Michael said. He was afraid. Terrified, even. Alex couldn’t just see it on his face, though—it was something viscous seeping into his veins from inside Michael. He could feel it.

Alex stood up, moving the short distance across the shed. “Oh-okay, Guerin, you need to start talking. I know you’re freaked out or whatever, but so am I.”

Michael blinked and looked up at Alex as though he just realized he was there. “Oh shit.”

“Yeah, oh shit.” Alex rolled his eyes. “Rationally, I understand that my wrist is fixed. I get that you did something. So what I’m sorta gonna need you to fill me in on is how the fuck that is.”

Tagging these lovely folks if they would like 💕

@portraitofemmy @haloud @jule1122 @im-the-punk-who @angrycowboy @beautifulcheat @thesquidkid @bydayornight

#fandom #writing #fanfic #nostalgia #merlin #nsync #teen wolf #roswell new mexico #sterek #malex #meme #and our nsync ship names were fucking glorious #trickyfish will go down in infamy #this was fun!

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galvanizedfriend · 2 years

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I was listening to a podcast today about fandom/fanish stuff and there was a discussion about the state of fandoms in general and how people seem to be interacting or responding less and less to content creators. It's something that's been happening all over, but it becomes more glaring in older fandoms that seem to be shrinking (such as my little piece of hellsite here). We could talk about reasons why and all, but I don't think there is one single reason. More like a combination of several different things. Fandom spaces moving to discord, people losing interest, newer fans having some different ideas of how to interact with stuff due to arriving in fandom with an experience that comes mostly from TikTok/Instagram/algorithm-driven platforms, etc.

I've written about this in the past, but I feel like it becomes more and more relevant with each passing year. Since I have some new followers as well, just wanted to remind yall of the importance of giving positive feedback to your fave fanish content creators.

The only way content creators have of knowing what they're doing is being seen and appreciated is if you tell them. And the only way their content can spread is if you help them. This is not to say you have to share and comment on stuff you don't like, but if you *do* enjoy it, then yes. Writing comments on tumblr or hearting posts are great, don't get me wrong. These are awesome and everyone loves them. But the only person who sees those are the OPs. The way to help content spread is to reblog it. On AO3, it's to comment and kudos the fics. That's how you make stuff stand out. I don't know why people won't even leave kudos anymore, it's literally just pressing a button, but it's been happening a lot.

I promise you there is nothing wrong with leaving comments on old fics or reblogging old stuff on tumblr. This is not instagram, nobody thinks you're stalking them. Doesn't matter if the story was posted a few days ago, a few weeks, or even a few years. Or if the gifset has been going around for a decade. I know I don't speak only for myself when I say it makes my day to know people are still reading my older fics, or starting a series that I finished writing years ago. And as for newer stuff - there is really no better way to encourage your fave writers and creators in general to keep doing what they do then to show them you're there. Doesn't matter if it's a single line of comment on AO3, or a reblog with no tags whatsoever on tumblr. It works just the same as long-ass comments and a gazillion screaming tags.

When you spend weeks working on something, hours every day, and it feels like nobody cares, it's really discouraging. Some people deal very well with doing stuff for themselves, and that's awesome, but most people get super motivated through validation. Be it to continue something, or to start something new. It can be super scary to share stuff with others publicly - it is for me, to this day, I get super nervous posting stuff, just freaking out about how people are going to react, and I know how important having this validation is for me, which is why I feel so strongly about this. I know I can consider myself somewhat lucky in my current fandom because I seem to get a kind of traction that not many authors do these days, at least with one of my fics, but even then it can feel a bit discouraging to see that general atmosphere of silent contemplation of stuff spreading.

I know we have loads of new people around, so please, please, don't underestimate the power of your support! It really does magic! Sometimes, getting an awesome comment might encourage people to continue stories they had practically abandoned. Or to post something new. Or to finish that update you've been waiting for. It does not bother anyone to know they have readers eager for their stuff, and when they do publish/post it, it's super important to let them know you were there and you appreciated it, because that's the only way we know. We cannot just guess.

So if there's any content creator out there that you follow, admire and whose work you'd like to see more of, be it a fic writer, or a video maker, or an artist, or someone who makes edits and gifsets, *anyone* creating stuff in your fandoms, don't hesitate to let them know. Show your support, KUDOS the stories, reblog their posts, leave comments whenever possible - *on the actual stories*, if possible! Let people know they're not screaming into the void. Fandom is also about community, and there is no better way to create that feeling than to share - experiences, ideas, content, anything. It's how we keep our blorbos alive and thriving even years after their original habitats have been extinct (or made toxic by crappy showrunners).

And as always, this is a reminder that my inbox is always open to whatever. If you want to share recs, talk about a fic you read, about the shows, silly blorbos, or if you have a thought or a question about something I've made, so long as it's not disrespecting anyone in fandom, all's fair. I do not mind at all.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk, hope you have a wonderful week!

#yokan talks #fandom stuff #fanfiction writing #podcast gave me thinky thoughts

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twilightguardian · 1 year

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Well, that's your fault for blocking me when we were having that conversation, now isn't it?

I wasn't "Totes Ownzing" you as a writer, Lilith. If you wanted to know what I meant you could have just, like... asked for clarification instead of assuming malintent and starting a fight with me. That's what most people do.

It was a show of good faith, (since I had done nothing but talk about how much of a caustic, disingenuous liar you were regarding Fixing and how uncharitable you were with those you blanketed as misogynists.) reaching out to you as a fellow writer and creative, not only saying that it was an older piece of work, so you may have already fixed it yourself in your newest draft. Then saying that if you wanted to grow as an artist that the one group you went to weren't doing you favours and if you were still with them to look for a better group who would be hard on your work, because that will show where your flaws are. Critique can hurt. But critique groups aren't there to build up your pride, they're there to hone your writing skills and do away with bad habits. You tear down your old, rotting ego and build a newer, healthier one, or rather it's like building muscle. Every critique is a little wound in your writing muscles. Those wounds heal stronger and your writing muscle, like real muscles, gets bigger, better, more able to endure and will be able to work more before getting torn again. Every artist goes through this and it's the normal process of creation. I had thought, perhaps naively, that you'd understand this at the very least.

I've been nothing, if not fair to you for the most part despite using you as an obvious example in my initial callout post. But I wouldn't have had to do that if there weren't so many examples of you being toxic and attacking people and making up things about them - in some cases serious accusations.

You get back what you give. If you're someone who comes into a conversation assuming that someone has ill intent and act with aggression, people are going to treat you the same. You wanted someone to fight with so after you blocked me I gave you what you wanted: Someone to fight. I'm willing to fight back when I see injustice and I'm not afraid to be catty. But it didn't have to be that way.

I'm also a writer, and on some level, no matter whether I like or dislike you, at the end of the day it doesn't matter. I'd still be happy if you grew as an artist and became better; if you found success. I initially was going to look into Glints Saga regardless to look into it and make comparisons between your old and new work because I was curious after learning you rewrote it to see how much it changed. It was just an innocent curiosity. Then to be polite I'd give my review of the work and be honest about it, because in my mind, there's nothing worth more than honesty. So you'd get my thoughts, if I liked some parts, if I disliked others, etc. It would give you more interaction with your work.

I made that initial long post because I saw all the dishonesty about Fixing and wanted to debunk it. If you found my fanfics and reviewed them I'd enjoy that but if you just went in to purposefully bend over backwards, contorting yourself into a pretzel to pick apart every single little thing for no reason other than wanting to hurt me, that's disingenuous. No one, not even 'critics' do that... for the most part. I've seen some bs in rwde, too, let's be real here.

To answer your question about my criticism, it's about a complicated mixture of realism and cutting fat in your writing. People normally don't say your name to you unless it's to get your attention or to emphasize they're speaking to you when in a group. If someone is speaking to you, they'll say 'you' and not your name constantly at you. Because they already have your attention. But it's also about brevity and repetition. Respect your reader's time and don't use unnecessary words because it just clogs up your prose or dialogue. Saying a character's name over and over to that character is repetitive to read. You want your writing to be concise and punchy. Every sentence, phrase and word has to matter, has to be there for a reason. If you want your writing to be as good as it can be, you make the necessary changes and take criticisms from people outside your circle of friends.

This is writing advice you can find anywhere. I'm not saying anything particularly groundbreaking or niche, but it's not something that everyone knows about, either. We all become blind to our own work and need an outsider - multiple outsiders who know how to critique - to come in and look. If you only surround yourself with friends who only ever praise your work, you'll gain a false sense of what your writing is like. I also had to learn it. I've done writing in the past where a character says another's name to that character every time they speak and I had to be aware of that to avoid it. Pointing out flaws in your writing isn't an attack on you as a person.

When I said I was going to review Glints, you just saw me as Floof 2.0 (regarding the review). Honestly, I have no idea what he said about it. I've had problems with him in the past when it came to reviewing writing and I called him out on it. He may have had good points, but I also don't doubt he said some really dumb things about your work. You assumed without evidence that I was going to be just as disingenuous as him, that I was going to use your series to attack you. Based on what? Because I called you out? I didn't call you out for no reason. The reason I took those screenshots was to back up my words to show that I wasn't lying. To show this is a pattern of behaviour that I can see that leads to the type of disingenuous criticism that I wanted to talk about and debunk. You have a skewed way of looking at the world and at people, and assume intent and malice when there might not be and I was demonstrating why that is harmful, not because I have anything against you specifically. Just your attitude and how you interact with people you disagree with.

You can take this however you like. But this is my genuine attempt to reopen dialogue with you. If not, I'll continue as I had before: Debunking your poorly thought out, bad faith criticisms of Fixing and once V6 is done so am I. But if you do, I'll continue talking to you and do what I can for you as a fellow artist.

Edit: Also as for your critique of Glints, it's coming. But frankly I have more important things to do and you're not all that high on my priority list. Properly reviewing takes time and energy.

#lilith fairen #Glints Saga #rwde #writing #critique

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ratgingi · 11 months

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smth smth oc rambles

murr is almost constantly swaying a little bit, think like a cartoon character does when theyre in love or smth. its not super noticable unless youre like actively watching him

outis plays with his necklace a lot, especially while he talks. also speaking of the necklace it was a present from his dad, the very first time he ever went to the beach with his parents he was way too scared of going anywhere near the water, and his dad got him the shell while diving and had ot turned into a necklace for him

also outis has had to be hospitalized twice because of his allergy, once when he was 5 (it was the first time they found out it was a problem) and once when he was 10 (went out to eat with family and everyone forgot to double check that the food was safe). his dad makes a joke every time he his a 5th year that its 'time for another scare'. outis does not think this joke is very funny but yk how parents are

xander (who i havent . talked abt hardly at all despite them being the most notable nonedatable from vinnies route oops) is 20 and genderfluid (any pronouns with no preference) and is probably gonna be the person who sets you up with vinnie methinks. he likes vintage and old time-y devices and has a weird fascination with medieval weaponry/torture . shes relatively normal xe just thinks its really cool

addy used to give free food to randy when he was living in the dumpster. juniper used to threaten to beat him up so he would give her that food while she was on the streets. addy caught her during one of these harassment moments and with margo's assistance helped her get her current job to get her back on her feet

oopsie does not like roe or murr and treats them both similarly to how she treats gingi. when asked she just says they creep her out and have bad vibes and make her feel like shes in danger so she avoids them (however if she had to pick between those two or gingi she would go to them for protection)

kara still has her old trophy head, she got it changed shortly before coming to town and keeps the trophy in her room in oakey's place. not as an ego boost so much as a humbling kind of thing, she looks at it whenever she feels homesick to remind herself why she left in the first place. the blue ribbon she wears was the first blue ribbon she ever won, and she won it for a singing performance. THAT one she uses as motivation

jackson had an older model smartphone as a head when he was little, when he was a teenager (like 16/17 or so) his parents paid to replace it with a newer one since his old friend group's parents were all doing it and they didnt want him to stick out. one of said friends got the rainbow headcase for him as a joke but hes just never stopped wearing it

when talking to charlie the first time he mentions that lillith is mute and offers to give the player a little sorta book with basic conversational asl instructions so they might understand lillith better. the player would be able to refuse this either saying they already know it or saying they just dont need it and if you say its because you know it already some of the things lillith 'says' wont make sense to represent misunderstanding their gestures, if the player says they just dont need it lillith's text just flat out wouldnt show and youd have to go back to charlie to get the book

both charlie and lilliths heads are damaged (his screen is shattered, their clipboard head has a piece broken off of the corner), neither will disclose how either of the damages happened

in outis' route youd be able to meet up with stop in the laundremat and the two of you would work together to help him for a bit. i havent decided if you meet it normally or if you meet them post them getting hit by a car (a very common occurance for her dont worry)

similar to murr roe is not super picky about pronounce or gender things bc when youre around for long enough you sort of decide being picky about gender is not worth it. smth smth "im nonbinary now this shit is getting ridiculous" type beat

#trying to remind my brain that i care these guys #dialogue #jack dlc #dlc wiki

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bigfootsmom · 1 year

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Fanfic Origin Story

Tagged by the wonderful @shortsighted-owl & @prettyboybuckley<3 <3 <3

What was your first fandom (reading and/or writing)?

I reeeeallly don't remember lol. I think my first fandom for reading was the anime Spice and Wolf? But I feel like there was something before it that I blocked from my memory.

What was the first story you ever wrote (even if it was never posted) and what made you decide to write it?

oh gosh, I have no clue. I wrote a lot of stuff in the back of my school notebooks but I can't remember specifically what they were. The first thing I ever published (on ff.net) was a Rise of the Guardians fic. I don't want to talk about that period of my life. I decided to write it because I love the scene in the movie where Jack fell through the ice and I wanted to write it from his sister's perspective.

What’s a piece of advice you would give to your younger fic-writing self?

Write more, share what you write. Don't be afraid to just give it a try. Please pay attention to your grammar lessons lol.

What’s an early fandom interaction that stuck with you (be it a nice comment, a friend you made, a fic that got a lot of feedback etc.)?

I really didn't interact with fandom until the last few years, I was always just a wallflower. A lot of my childhood friends were into the same things I was into, so I guess all my "fandom" interaction happened irl. I think my friend and I squealing at 3am about a fic idea I had (and never wrote) sticks with me.

Post a sentence or two from one of your older fics, and a sentence or two from a newer one (if you want).

I literally have no idea how to find my old fic I posted, it's lost to time. So here's a sentence or so from the oldest fic I posted on ao3:

Peter, shockingly, listened and drank some more water. But damn, had he mastered the art of making sips of water look spiteful. Wade took the mug back from him and set it back on the sink with a small clink.

And here's something from my most recent fic:

Like sticks and twine. His bones feel too loosely knit together, head precariously perched on top of his spine. One strong gust of wind and he thinks he might scatter apart.

I'm gonna tag @dykemunson, @morganofthefairies, @honestlydarkprincess, @afterafternoons, @holdmygum, @prettyboybuckley, @paranoidbean, @herodiaz, @homerforsure, @yikesbuckley, @princessfbi

#tag game #fanfic origin story #molly writes #molly mumbles

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jimmycarterghostland · 3 months

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Something I hate to see as a reader: excessive humor

If you dislike the type of humor found in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, you'll know what I'm talking about. The sort of humor that gives off vibes of "the creator of this work is trying hard to be funny."

That's the sort of humor I can't stand, which Joss Whedon is fond of using. And many other creatives out there, unfortunately.

A piece of fiction doesn't need constant jokes to be good. Vicious by VE Schwab is bad at this. Vicious could have been a dark, unsettling novel, but every character in it is always joking around. And there are jokes in their inner monologues, too. It really takes away some of the enjoyment. I can't enjoy how dark and gritty a work is if there's so much unnecessary humor. If you're going to have humor in your book, please have one or two designated comic relief characters. Don't turn every character in your work into clowns.

It's not just books and other pieces of fiction that has this problem. I see it online, too. I was reading a post on Reddit a year or two ago, and the person was telling a true story they experienced once. The thing was that every other paragraph had a lame, forced joke in it. It was exhausting because it was clear the person was trying hard to be funny. Of course people in the comments were praising the "humor", but I couldn't stand it.

If you're not writing a comedy novel, keep the humor and jokes to a bare minimum. Books like White Noise and Infinite Jest can get away with tons of jokes in their pages, because they're meant to be wacky comedies. With a novel like Vicious, though, the humor took away a good portion of my enjoyment while I reread some of the scenes. In real life, most people don't crack constant jokes.

Unless you're writing a comedy, try to keep the humor and the jokes to a bare minimum. You could give all the jokes to a few designated comic relief characters. Or you could decide to not write jokes at all. Plus, humor is still possible without making your characters tell jokes. You could include subtle humor. Something like a Gilligan Cut. Example:

To include a Gilligan Cut in a novel, you can have a character say they're not going to do something. Then you can put in a scene transition and show that character doing the thing. If you want a more subtle GC, have the thing happen in the next chapter instead of after a scene transition.

If you don't want the characters cracking jokes, but still want some humor, you could find a way to add some in.

Unfortunately, the MCU style of humor has been influencing newer pieces of fiction lately. And already has influenced older ones. As for me, I prefer to write and read more serious works. I love books where you could tell the author doesn't feel the need to add constant jokes because they think "witty" lines is a must. They aren't.

You don't have to make all of your characters into quip machines. It's unrealistic, and it ends up making your characters sound the same, have the same personality, etc. It would be better if you have one or two comic relief characters. It doesn't have to be obvious they're comic relief characters, either. They can be complex characters with their own personalities. They just happen to drop the occasional joke.

With my Royal Road exclusive web serial, 33, I actually found myself deleting some of the jokes and the humor during the rewrite(that rewrite is still ongoing, by the way), and I tried giving most of the jokes to characters I chose to be designated comic relief characters. I prefer this method. And my novel 33 can be taken more seriously. I hope so, anyway. Plus, now the dark bits in that book is more empathized, which I want to happen. I'm not writing a comedy.

Those jokes I deleted? I had written them into the novel when I thought Joss Whedon's style of humor was a great thing. Now I know that's not the case.

Humor and witty lines won't save your novel. They won't make your book more popular. Sometimes, humor can actually make your novel less enjoyable to read.

#reading #books #literature #read #novels #I can't stand excessive humor #don't force humor #jokes aren't necessary

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yjano · 1 year

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Never The Same.

Part 15

Pairings: Jake x Mc.

Warnings: Swearing, violence, angst, smut, other pairings;), traumatic experiences.

Words: 5.7k

A bored look could be spotted on my face as I was zapping through the channels on the television. I was sitting next to Jake who had an equally bored look on his face, waiting for me to find something that would be worth watching.

It had been a few weeks since Jake had taken care of me and the two of us had only grown closer and closer to each other. The two of us were rarely spotted without each other and if someone even looked at me in the wrong way Jake would make sure they would regret it. The two of us were like magnets, we got drawn together and we didn't mind it one bit.

"Everything is so boring," I complained as I put down the remote. The channel I had stopped on was showing the news and while I was anything but someone who willingly watched the news I didn't have any better option. I'd rather watch the news than some bad quiz show.

"I know," Jake spoke as soon as he got up and walked over to the kitchen to get the two of us a glass of water. I lazily sat back on the couch before a deep sigh left my mouth. At least let something interesting be happening in the world. Then I would have something to watch.

"Tonight we have a special item to show." The reporter on the news began to speak to everyone who was watching his program. The man was standing outside in the rain while holding a microphone and an umbrella in his hands and a snicker left my mouth. The man looked a bit funny since it must be pretty cold outside and somehow that fact amused me a lot.

"Today exactly 8 months ago, Mc Estrada got kidnapped during the trial of Jake Dalton's. It is still unknown where the girl is currently being held captive but according to one of her friends she has been spotted inside a mall near Duskwood." The reporter spoke in a serious tone and immediately my eyes grew big. Why was the news still talking about me?

Suddenly the familiar face of Lilly popped up in my mind and my eyes grew even bigger. The blonde girl must have gone to the police to tell them that she had seen me in a mall. A lump began to form in my throat and a deep sigh left my mouth. I still felt bad for Lilly since that day and I wished things would have gone differently. However, I knew damn well that that hadn't been a possibility.

"Today the girl's family released a statement about the girl in which they are asking everyone to look out for her as they still believe that she is alive. We will now shortly switch over to the statement from earlier today." The reporter in the black suit spoke and before I knew it the screen switched over and suddenly began to display my parents and my little sister.

Immediately tears began to form in my eyes and a few rolled down my cheeks. I missed my family so much. These people meant the whole world to me and to know that they were still out there looking for me pained me a lot. I had been happy in this building doing whatever the hell I wanted to while my family was still broken by my disappearance.

"Everyone please, don't stop looking for our girl. She is still out there and she is waiting to be rescued." My mother spoke, emotion hearable in her voice.

"If you see her, please contact the police immediately. She has been gone for 8 months now and it is time that she will come home." My father then added before wrapping an arm around my mother. The two of them had big dark circles around their eyes and they looked a lot older than I remembered them to be. Suddenly my mother began to speak again while tears streamed down her face.

"Mc baby, if you see this, know that I won't stop looking for you until they've found you. I won't stop before you come home safely. That monster will not win. Not if I have anything to say about it." The woman finished before a loud sob left her mouth once again. The woman immediately took her other daughter in her arms and cuddled her.

My little sister didn't react at all. She looked like she was a hollow shell and immediately a painful sting shot through my heart. I knew my younger sister only acted like this when she didn't know what to do anymore and was on the verge of breaking down completely. While I had lived my best life inside the Red Eye Tower, my family had been breaking down completely and sadness and anger slowly began to take over me completely.

Jake focus.

As soon as I got back with two glasses of water in my hands, I immediately noticed the tense atmosphere in the room, and once I noticed the family in the room my eyes grew big and I sped up the pace which I was walking towards the couch. Immediately I put the two glasses of water down before I grabbed the remote and turned off the television.

I then focused on the girl who was still staring at the television as if she wanted to smash it and I immediately noticed the sad yet angry look on her face. The smaller girl had tears leaking down her face constantly and she looked like she wanted to murder someone.

"Baby-" I began to speak but immediately Mc stood up angrily while crying hysterically.

"No!" She screamed while more tears escaped from her eyes. An angry look was taking over her features completely and I looked at her with concern in my eyes. This was exactly the reason why I hadn't given the girl loved so much the opportunity to meet her parents again.

I knew damn well that seeing those people would break her down completely. She wasn't ready for that yet. Slowly I walked a bit closer to her before I softly put a hand on her shoulder.

"Baby I know it hurts. Let's just go to bed and talk about it tomorrow, okay?" I tried to calm down her but the brunette was having non of it.

"Don't touch me!" Mc screamed towards me and I immediately retreated my hand again while a shocked look began to cross my face. Anger was radiating from her and tears leaked out of her face nonstop.

"You ruined my whole fucking life!" Mc then screamed while she sank to her knees and hid her face in her hands. I knew she was broken by seeing her family again.

"Mc calm down." I softly spoke in a stressed tone. I had no idea what I could do for the girl I loved so much and I looked at the smaller girl with regret on my face. I never meant for her to get this upset and if I would have known that her parents had sent out a statement about this then I would have never let her watch tv in the first place.

"How the fuck can I calm down when my family is broken because you kidnapped me?!" She exclaimed before she began to sob again. A pleading look was visible on her face and another sob left her mouth.

"I just want to go home."

A sad look made its way onto my face and a small tear made its way out of my eye.

"Baby you are home." I tried but Mc was having none of it. She thought differently of that fact and she began to violently shake her head.

"No, I am not. I don't belong here at all. I don't belong in this world and I don't belong with you!" Mc exclaimed upset before she stood up and ran towards the bedroom. Immediately after she had entered the room a loud sob left her mouth and she slammed the door shut. I felt tears forming in my eyes but I decided to leave her alone for now and walked towards the elevator. Was it really what she wanted? Did she mean her words?

Mc focus.

An uncomfortable look made its way onto my face as I slowly began to wake up. Yesterday I had fallen asleep while I was still wearing my clothes and thus now I felt very uncomfortable. If I had just been a little less upset I could have at least changed into some comfy clothes suitable for bed.

My eyes were still swollen and red from all the crying I had done yesterday. Seeing my family after all those months of missing them had broken something inside my chest and I needed to let it all out.

I did regret how harsh I had been towards Jake, however. Of course, I knew Jake wanted nothing but the best for me and the fact that I had told him that he had ruined my life was something I regretted deeply. Jake hadn't ruined my life at all, if anything he had made it better by showing me what true love felt like.

Slowly I began to stretch my arms before I got up from the bed and made my way over to the bathroom. I needed to clean myself up if I wanted to make anything of my day. Otherwise, I would only feel dirty and that was something I did not want.

It didn't take long before I was completely done with my morning routine and dressed in a fresh pair of clothes. I wanted to do a lot of things today and by far the most important one of them all was to talk with Jake about what happened yesterday and tell him that I was sorry for all the rude things I said.

Jake hadn't joined me in the bed yesterday and I guessed that he had been scared of invading my personal space. Of course, I had lashed out at him and maybe Jake had been scared that I would get even madder if he joined me in bed.

Truth be told, I probably would have gotten even angrier if he had joined me. Yesterday I had been so emotional from missing my family that I needed someone to lash out on. Jake had been the only one present in the apartment and he happened to be the one who had kidnapped me. It was only logical that I would pick him as the one I would scream at.

It of course hadn't been right and I knew that damn well myself too. That's why I wanted to apologize to him as soon as possible.

As I walked towards the kitchen I noticed Jake sitting at the dinner table. He was on the phone with someone and he hadn't noticed me entering the room yet.

"Yeah, I've thought this through Lex. This has been going on for way too long. Just fix the men and send them here as soon as possible, okay?" Jake spoke in a soft tone before he hung up.

A sad look was displayed on Jake's face and dark circles were surrounding his red eyes. He hadn't even slept a minute this night, his mind filled with guilt. He had thought that Mc was happy with him but the brunette herself thought so differently.

"Hi." I softly spoke and immediately Jake turned around in his seat while he looked at me. It was as clear as crystal to me that Jake had been crying and a few tears began to form in my own eyes as well.

Jake wasn't the type to cry easily and the fact that he had been doing so because of me made me feel bad, really bad.

As I walked closer to the dinner table I slowly sat down on the chair next to Jake while I looked down. I felt so ashamed of my outburst yesterday and I didn't know what I could do to apologize properly to him. As I finally found the courage to say something Jake beat me to it.

"Lex will arrive here in a few minutes." He spoke in a sad tone while sending a sad smile my way. He nervously began to fumble with his fingers while he did everything in his power to avoid eye contact with me.

A confused look began to form on my face and I softly reached forward to grab one of Jake's hands to get his attention again.

"Why?" I asked in a questioning tone. Lex had nothing to do with what had happened yesterday right? What would we need her here for? A deep sigh left Jake's mouth before he looked at me with an apologetic look on his face.

"She's here to pick you up and bring you home," Jake explained and immediately I raised an eyebrow while looking at him as if he had grown two heads.

"But I am home?"

Softly Jake began to shake his head before he squeezed my hand.

"No, you are not. You don't belong in this world and I'm sorry for not realizing that any sooner." He spoke in a sad tone before staring outside and losing himself in the blue skies and white clouds.

"You are going home Mc. Your real home. I am sorry for ever dragging you away from there." He spoke before a deep sigh left his mouth.

Jake had never known that Mc felt the way she had said yesterday. Sure she had been angry too so maybe Jake shouldn't take everything she had screamed at him this seriously but he knew damn well that there was truth in Mc's words hidden. Jake had stolen Mc's life from her and he was going to give it back if that was what would make her happy. That's all that Jake cared for anyway. Mc's happiness, even if that meant that he had to give up his own by letting her go.

Immediately I began to violently shake my head while tears began to gather in my eyes.

"No!" I exclaimed while a few tears escaped my eyes and began to roll down my cheeks. I didn't want to leave this place. Sure it would mean that I would never get to see my old friends and family again but that also meant that I would have to leave my new friends behind. That I would leave Jake behind and that was something I didn't want at all costs. Jake meant the world to me.

"You can't leave me!" I frantically tried to exclaim between my sobs and slowly Jake began to shake his head before taking me in a tight hug and planting one last kiss on my temple.

"I'm not the right person for you Mc. I'm sorry." He spoke before retreating his arms again and standing up from his chair.

As if on cue Lex entered the apartment at the same time with a few guards behind her. A sad look was displayed on her face and she looked at us with a sorry look on her face.

"Are you sure Jake?" The small girl asked and he only nodded in return.

"Get all her stuff and bring her home. I'll make sure her family will know that she's there." Jake spoke before a single lonely tear escaped his eye. Lex nodded slowly and immediately after Jake walked away and disappeared out of sight.

Meanwhile, I was still crying hysterically and Lex quickly ordered the guards to pack my stuff before walking over to me.

"Shh." Lex softly whispered inside my ear while hugging me and immediately I wrapped my arms around her body as if my life depended on it. Never again would I see Jake, Lex, Jessy, or any of the people I had met here again. Once Lex had brought me home it would be like they had never existed in the first place. All these people would become a mere memory.

"I don't want to go Lex. I want to stay here, with you guys." I cried while loud sobs left my mouth. Softly Lex began to comfort me before she smiled at me.

"Mc baby, stop crying. If you and Jake are meant to be then you will find your way back to us. Trust me, things will turn out for the better." She spoke in a reassuring tone before locking eyes with me again.

"Now come on, we don't want to keep your parents waiting do we?"

Never before had I felt so lonely in my life. Lex had brought me back to the apartment that had been my home once and after giving me a big hug, she had left again to go back to her own home. Even though Lex had tried her best to stay strong for me, I hadn't missed the tears welling up in her eyes or how she had done anything she could to stay a bit longer with me.

Both of us had realized damn well that this might very well be the last time the two of us would see each other. Lex would soon be safe again within the red eye Tower while I would pick up my old life as a lawyer again in Bloomgate's Inc. If they hadn't replaced me yet.

Tears slowly began to leak out of my eyes and my sight began to blur. I had been back in my old apartment for only thirty minutes and yet I already felt miserable. This place felt so familiar, yet so cold. Even though Jake's men had brought all my belongings to this place it still didn't sit right with me. This wasn't my home anymore, my home was where Jake was.

More tears began to roll down my cheeks at the thought of Jake. Our relationship started pretty wrong but now he was all that I could have ever wished for. Jake made my world complete and now that he had removed himself from it completely and I felt incomplete as if there was a puzzle piece of my life missing.

Suddenly a loud knock sounded on my door and I looked up surprised. Quickly a hopeful feeling began to spread through my body and I quickly wiped away my tears before I stood up from my couch and ran over to the door, hoping it was Jake or Lex or anyone who would take me back to him. Maybe Jake had changed his mind.

The hope in my body soon died however as soon as I opened the door and saw my parents standing in front of the door. Tears began to pile up in my eyes and a loud sob left my mouth before I dashed forward and hugged my mother as if my life depended on it.

I had missed my family so damn much and I was truly happy to see them. However, their presence didn't ease the pain I was feeling from Jake letting me go and I was pretty sure nothing could make that pain a bit more bearable.

"Mc baby." My mom softly whispered in my ear while hugging me back. Her voice sounded emotional and a few tears rolled down her cheeks.

Meanwhile, my father walked away a bit to inform the police that I had returned home safely and after the call, he returned to us before joining his wife and me in our hug and closing his eyes softly. I and my dad had always had a very good bond and the fact that I had been torn away from them as if it was nothing angered my father, a lot.

As the three of us released each other from the hug all three of us slowly walked inside while my dad got the three of us a glass of water. I and mom sat down on the couch, I still was crying uncontrollably.

A worried look made its way onto my mom's face as she looked at me and I was in no way happy. She knew me inside out and she knew damn well when something was wrong with me. Softly she took me in a hug again before starting to caress my cheek.

"What's wrong baby? Did he hurt you this bad?" She softly asked me while trying to make her voice sound as neutral as possible. Of course, she would come for whoever had hurt me but that was not what I needed to hear from her. I needed her to support me and thus she would exactly do so.

"No! You don't understand!" I exclaimed upset before another loud sob left my throat. I then frantically grabbed my mother's shirt before breaking down again and sobbing in her arms.

"Shhh." My mom softly whispered in my ear while slowly caressing my back and trying to give me some comfort.

"M-mom?" I softly spoke once I calmed down a bit again. I slightly lifted my head from my mom's chest before looking at her with my tear-struck face. I needed to tell her everything about Jake. She needed to know that I wasn't angry at Jake. My mom needed to know that the pain I was experiencing wasn't anger or sadness or trauma, it was heartbreak.

"Yes, honey?" She softly spoke while looking at me with a small smile on her face. I was slowly calming down and I was finally trying to open up to her. She would make sure that I knew that whatever it was that I would tell her, she was there for me and ready to support me completely.

"I love him." I softly spoke before a few tears escaped my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. A confused look began to form on my mom's face and she looked at me with worry in her eyes.

"What do you mean Mc?"

A deep sigh left my mouth before I looked my mother in the eyes once again.

"I love Jake. I gained back my family today but I lost him. I lost them all mom." I softly whispered as a soft sob left my mouth once again.

"Who?" She asked me confused. Of course, she knew exactly who this Jake was.

"Everyone. Jake, Lex, Jessy, and everyone else!" I exclaimed upset as I took a big breath of air. My muscles were all tensed up and I was breathing irregularly. I had lost the family I had gained inside the red crew Tower all at once and if I had the chance I would go back there immediately. I belonged with them.

"And I'm pretty sure I lost a part of myself too."

Suddenly my father entered the room again with a small tray in his hands. He quickly put it on the coffee table before he handed me a glass of water. Gratefully I took the glass from my father before emptying it in one go.

"Tomorrow you are expected at the police station because they want to talk to you about what has happened." My dad spoke softly before sending a smile in my direction. I nodded before looking at my father with a sad look on my face.

My parents truly saw Jake Dalton as the worst person who has ever set foot on this earth. Little did they know that Jake was the complete opposite of me. My parents might think that I am just confused and that I am saying nonsense but I knew better. I knew exactly what I was talking about and I truly meant it from the bottom of my heart when I said that I loved Jake. After all, Jake and I were meant to be together and no one could change my mind.

An expressionless look was visible on my face as I listened to the officer in front of me firing questions at me. I had been sitting in this small dark room for at least two hours now and all the officers in front of me had done was try to get as much information out of me as possible.

"So Mc, do you recall where you were taken after you got kidnapped and pushed into the helicopter?" The female police officer spoke in a friendly tone while a fake smile was visible on her face. The woman looked to be around her 50s and she wore her long black hair in a tight bun on her head. A stern look was visible underneath the woman's glasses and she looked like she knew exactly how she had to get information out of anyone. Too bad for her that I wasn't willing to give her any information.

The moment my parents left yesterday I decided that I wasn't going to snitch on my friends. There was a big possibility that I would never see them again but that didn't mean that I would just give all their secret information to the cops. Jake and the others had trusted me to join them when I was still living in the red eye tower and even now that they had removed themselves from my life. I wasn't willing to break their trust. You don't turn your back on people who you consider part of your family.

"I don't remember," I answered, an empty look visible on my face. This whole visit here was pointless to me. I wasn't going to say anything and the woman in front of me was slowly getting more and more frustrated. Annoyed the police officer pinched the bridge of her glasses before she created a fake smile on her face again and looked at me as if I was a little kid.

"What did Dalton's masked accomplices look like?" The stern-looking woman asked before she put the papers in her hands on the metal table between me and herself. I briefly looked up before locking eyes with the police officer in front of me. She must be tired too. The woman had been firing questions at me nonstop without even getting one answer from me.

Slowly I began to shake my head before a small smile made its way onto my head. The thought of my friends' faces and personalities made me happy but also sad at the same time.

The fact that I would never hear Jessy laugh like there was no tomorrow hurt me. I would never see Lex brush her hand through her blue curls again. I wouldn't even feel Jake's touch again. It had only been a day without those people in my life but I already missed them like crazy and I definitely would do anything to get them back.

"I don't know." I lied, the clear image of my friends' faces still in my mind. A soft sigh immediately left the older woman in front of me and she closed her eyes briefly before standing up from the metal chair she was sitting on.

"Thank you for your time, Ms. Estrada. We will make sure to let you know if we need more information about this case." The woman lied while that fake smile of hers was once again present on her face.

Softly I nodded my head before I quickly headed out of the police station. Of course, the woman hadn't been happy with me. I was her best chance at finding Jake and all I had given her was nothing, absolutely nothing. There hadn't even been one bit of information she could use to track Jake down because I had simply answered all the questions she had asked with an 'I don't know'.

A soft sigh left my mouth as cold fresh air hit my face the moment I stepped out of the building I had been in. Even though it was pretty cold, the sun was shining brightly and a small smile made its way onto my face. Weather like this was always a sight to see from Jake's apartment and I hated how I was missing the beautiful view right now.

Slowly I began to walk home while putting my hands in the pockets of my coat. I had told my parents that I would give them a call the moment I got home so that we could have dinner together because truth be told, I had missed my mom's cooking a lot. Of course, I had been fed well back when I was living with Jake, but my mom's cooking just hit differently.

Today Sina, my little sister would join us too and I was excited to see her again. Sina and I had always been super close and I couldn't wait to close her in my arms once again. Sina meant the world to me.

After a fifteen-minute walk, the familiar apartment block where I had been heading finally came into sight. The place was still so familiar yet didn't feel the same as before. My small apartment used to be so warm and now without Jake's presence living there felt so cold. My home was where Jake was and since he wasn't here I wouldn't feel comfortable in my damn apartment.

I began to shake my head a bit before I began to walk up the stairs to reach my apartment. It was way too cold to keep lingering outside and while the warmth of the sun made it a bit more bearable I still preferred to be inside where I knew warmth would engulf me.

A surprised look however became visible on my face as my front door came into sight and I noticed it was slightly open. I blinked a few times while I raised both my eyebrows, had I forgotten to lock my front door this morning?

Quickly I ran up the last few steps before I slowly began to open the door to my apartment a bit more and walked inside. Immediately upon entering my heart began to stammer in my chest the moment I noticed a girl with long black hair in my apartment. She was facing me with her back while she was holding a picture of me and Sina in her hands. Immediately my eyes grew big and my breath hitched in my throat.

What the hell was this girl doing in his apartment? Was she a burglar or something?

Suddenly however the girl turned around and her face came into sight. Her face looked somewhat familiar to me yet I couldn't remember where I had seen her before. I surely had never met her but I knew for sure that I had seen her face somewhere before.

"Finally you have returned. I've been waiting for you for ages you know." The unknown girl suddenly spoke before dropping the picture she was holding on the ground. A smirk began to form on her face and she slowly began to walk toward where I was standing.

Immediately I began to back away slowly, not taking my eyes off the beautiful girl in front of me. I had still no idea who she was but I knew damn well from that look on her face that she wasn't a friend and that she certainly wasn't here to try and become friends with me either. Her presence meant bad news and I needed to get as far away from her as soon as possible. Where the fuck was Jake when you needed him the most?

The girl however suddenly fastened the pace at which she was walking toward me and before I knew it the girl had pressed me against a wall before grabbing my chin harshly. A sly smirk began to form on her face once again as she slowly began to push my face in different directions, checking every inch of my face.

"So you're my replacement huh?" She softly whispered in my ear, an amused tone lacing her voice. She suddenly pressed me a bit harder against the wall before setting a step back and looking at me with a cold look on her face.

"You shouldn't have given in to him Mc. You are a way too easy target for us." The woman spoke before suddenly the front door of my apartment opened.

Immediately I turned my head towards the door, hoping to see someone that could rescue me from this girl. I was scared of her and she looked like she was ready to kill me any minute. I had no idea what she was talking about or who she was but she knew damn well who I was. She knew my name and she had for some reason put a target on my back. That fact alone made my heart stammer in my chest uncontrollably while my whole body filled itself with nervousness.

However much to my dismay, the man who had walked into my apartment wasn't someone I knew. However judging by the look he was giving me, the raven-haired man knew damn well who I was which meant that he was probably together with the scary girl who had entered my apartment.

"Is that her, Val?" The new person in the room asked the girl before walking up to her and kissing her cheek. Immediately the girl began to nod while looking me in the eyes.

"Definitely." She answered the man next to her before that wicked smirk of hers returned to her face once again.

The moment the unknown man next to the girl spoke her name it all clicked for me. I remembered Valerie's face from a picture I had once seen in Jake's office. In front of me was standing none other than Jake's ex-fiance and she was out to get me. This girl had come here with one reason and one reason only, to get me and use me against Jake, which would probably mean that the man next to her was his older stepbrother Tegan.

In front of me were standing the two people who Jake wanted to get rid of more than anyone else and that meant that I was in trouble. Big trouble.

Before I could scream for help Tegan pressed a wet cloth against my nose and mouth and before I knew it my sight got blurry before darkness engulfed me. There wasn't anything I could do to save myself anymore except pray for a miracle. I was once again taken against my will, only this time I was pretty sure that I wouldn't come out of it alive.

#duskwood #duskwood jake #duskwood mc #jake x mc #mc and jake #duskwood family #duskwood fandom #duskwood fanfiction

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