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#and there are essays to write too. keeping busy!
sisterdivinium · 5 months
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And so ends the mini drabble regatta!
My thanks to everyone who read, liked or even left a little comment in the tags for these short attempts at different WN pairings <3
I want to hope that these humble offerings might inspire others to give other ships a chance, too, or to try their hand at drabbles in general. If I didn't please you with my interpretation of a given relationship, I am sorry; perhaps someone else will give it a go or maybe I'll do another one of these parties in the future and do better -- maybe you'll even consider joining me then.
For now, this blog returns to its regular schedule of doctor superion drabbles posted on Friday, at least until the end of the year. For early 2024, I want to have the next oneshot ready for publishing and I'll be focused on that until it happens. In the meantime, I'll be loitering around Tumblr as usual and sometimes on Dreamwidth as well :)
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It's been wonderful being able to talk about these things for me too! I haven't really had the opportunity since Y7 came out, so I'm positively buzzing. And no worries about the tone of your post about Daigo's article haha, I appreciate it when issues are pointed that I might've missed otherwise since that's at least something actionable.
But I'm obviously not going to stop anyone from venting frustrations with the wiki or with Fandom as a platform; I frequently find myself frustrated too! It's one of the things that keeps people editing the wiki. I'm honestly fine with whatever as long as it's not accusing us of being fujoshi for the billionth time lol, but for better or worse I do like to clarify what we're trying to do if there's any confusion.
Speaking of, Mine's relationship tags are kind of a funny story! So a lot of them have these dotted underlines and question marks, right? You're supposed to be able to hover over underlined terms to see a short definition (on desktop) and click the question mark to see an article with all the definitions on mobile, since hover actions aren't possible on a touchscreen.
But since the article was and still is under construction, Fandom doesn't show the link to logged-out users. So I had no idea it just looks like we're saying the tag is ambiguous lol. It's up now though, so it's hopefully easier to understand what we're trying to do!
I just found it funny I specifically added that feature to reduce confusion. Half the grief we get over Mine's "romantic interest" tag is because people assume we're saying it's mutual (we chose the term to try and avoid the "mutual" connotations of "love interest," but I guess that didn't work out). I also thought it might help with somewhat esoteric tags like "co-parent" (which was put in place for Jo and Arakawa and then I kept thinking of others) and "surrogate son." Turns out it's tough to boil complex relationships down to one term!
I definitely have SO many questions about New Year's Day and I probably always will; for the space of only one night, it's a huge blank. I certainly do have to wonder if shipping Masato off to America was decided then and there. There's a lot that could possibly be expanded on in RGGO (further interactions between Arakawa and Jo included lol), so I've got hope for that too now that we're back to random events. I'd be really interested to see how you'd portray it someday!
Talking about Nakai and Tsutsumi reminded me, Nakai mentioned he read the whole script in a day so he "wouldn't do a disservice to Arakawa or Sawashiro's characters." That kind of stuck out to me precisely because there are so few scenes between them compared to like, Arakawa and Ichi, and they're all relatively low-impact in comparison.
Of course, it could be marketing on account of him and Tsutsumi getting to co-star again, or the scenes could simply have stood out to him more for that reason, or he could've had a different impression of the ratios having read the script rather than played the game. But the part of me that makes me want to go Off The Deep End speculating is kind of wondering if there were other scenes planned?
And absolutely! I'm not able to reblog often because the post editor's been crashing whenever I try to tag my posts, but I hope you know I love your work and I'll support pretty much anything you put out! I'm very excited to share my findings as well.
A lot of it's to do with Mine's relationship to Western culture vs. Japanese culture (his "westabooism," basically), so that's specific to him, but there a lot of interesting concepts and theories in Japanese psychology regarding familial bonds, met and unmet emotional needs. They work as an explanation for his probable feelings of alienation from Japanese culture, but I feel they would make for an interesting lens to examine the Arakawas through as well.
I actually hadn't ever considered the similarity with regard to Mine and Jo's dads, but that makes so much sense! If I were to take it a step further, I think feelings of "abandonment" by their fathers have had long-lasting effects on both them and Masato. Jo we've been talking about, his father was technically still "there," but he wasn't in his corner, which feels much the same as abandonment to a child.
I think Mine's internalized a lot of the same feelings even though his father never meant to abandon him (I guess Jo's may not have, necessarily; alcoholism can destroy a family whether the individual wants that to happen or not). Like, unfairness, displacement, lack of control, the loss of the only support you have and so on. I think dwelling on that is what sent Mine's mental state spiraling, and what made it imperative to just believe Daigo was "dead" to try and move on as soon as possible. He didn't want to be hurt the same way again.
It's also probably what he was projecting in his ridiculous villain speech during The Orphanage Scene; the reason offering kids support in the way Kiryu does is a form of "victimization" in his eyes, at that moment, is because that support can be ripped away from you at any time. The scene is kind of hilarious to me because it's like, "okay we need Mine to have a kick-the-dog moment, his actions have been too understandable," but I do get it from that angle.
Similarly, I think those feelings of abandonment are why Arakawa faces the brunt of Aoki's abuse, because it's like, "YOUR negligence is why I had to go through all of that." So I get why Jo, like your sister, wouldn't want the finger pointed at him, but at the same time… damn. Perhaps if Arakawa had never had that talk with Masato, things might've been different. I get the impression he wouldn't be able to endure keeping things to himself for as long as Jo, though, given things like the letter he sent Ichi in prison.
Oh, yeah, Jo is CRAZY protective of Masato too! "If anything happens to him, killing you a thousand times would be insufficient!" I think part of his overreaction to having Masato's money is also that if Ichi can't listen to orders that fundamental, who's to say he listened to the orders to keep Masato safe? I guess if you see Ichiban as incompetent to the point of almost being a malicious actor, you might think that.
I'm sooo so glad you've noticed the rest of those similarities haha, I've been rotating them around in my brain like a cube for ages. A Venn diagram would be so fun to see! That's such an insightful look at the differences between Mine and Jo's offices too. I was a little confused about the placement of the social spaces, or even that they're there, but if you look at it as clearly separate from his personal spaces, it does make sense.
Also, not to harp on the books in the offices too much, but I compared the textures a little earlier. Mine's are basically all (very expensive) encyclopedias and language phrasebooks in English, Italian, French, and German, in contrast to Jo's discrete hardcovers and series of art history books. They're probably all stock assets lol, but I think they're surprisingly good fits; Mine dumping considerable time, money, and energy into his fascination with Western culture and Jo being the type to not want people to know what he's reading totally works for me.
But yes! It's kind of funny, because Yokoyama wasn't much of a Mine fan in his early days, but I hope he and the others keep on writing characters like him. I think of it as Mine's "legacy" in a series where past characters aren't acknowledged too often; the most I can recall are that Hakuho mention in 4 and the fencing around the Touto roof perimeter.
Speaking of, I love Mine's missed shots in the finale specifically because he's an excellent marksman in his Okinawa character story. Why? How? Who Knows, He's Perfect. (Probably not as good of a shot as Daigo though lol)
And yeahhh, there are other interviews, but it ain't the same! It was the most in-depth one I know of. I think this is one of the only remnants, and I shall entrust it to you.
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But yes, exactly! And I'm also glad Y7 introduced more people to them (myself included), Tsutsumi's my favorite actor of all time and Nakai's brilliant. They make a great combi! Of the things I've seen where they co-star, I think Princess Toyotomi and Hero SP are both solid; the latter is a special for a longer show, but I honestly didn't even notice lol. Musashi I wasn't personally able to get through even though I've read the book, so I'm not sure how it plays out between them.
Also I DIDN'T KNOW TORU DIED IN PURE??? That came out of nowhere oh my god T___T But if you're ever looking for anything rare, feel free to ask! I might know a guy (gender neutral) with a stash, Fly, Daddy, Fly included.
OH MAN MINE'S WIKI ENTRY I've definitely made my opinions about it known, but now knowing the truth behind it it's kind of funny and still so unfortunate. I'd almost want to recommend a section dedicated to the topic since it's such an integral part of his character, though I also understand wanting to keep the wiki strictly to factual information and to exclude speculation (or "speculation" anyhow- it's definitely more of a concrete situation, especially going off of the information provided in your pinned post on the topic. If anything, that sort of information would belong to the "Trivia" tab wouldn't it- but again, it's such a deep situation it can't really be summarized in one or two sentences) and the topic being too niche to have a page dedicated to it. It's nice to know that the subject isn't trying to be brushed under the rug though and it's just a matter of awkward formatting/incomplete work!
Furthermore on The New Years Event, I would LOVE RGGO to expand on the topic since they've been so liberal with the stories they make and the depth those stories add to the characters. Honestly, I was expecting Masato's card to have that as its accompanying character story, so it's unfortunate that he doesn't get it or any story as far as I'm aware (or maybe he does have one and my poor pull luck has just prevented me from getting the card to find out myself, but I've looked as much as I could and couldn't find an upload of it). Oh well, I guess it's the old "if you want something done you gotta do it yourself-" not that anything I could make could ever be up to scratch, so I'm glad I do have people interested in what I have in mind :)
About Nakai, I wouldn't feel wrong trying to accredit his comment to a time before he knew the full plot or saw the full game and was just debriefed on the general story/character relationships, and I also wouldn't put it past RGG to have deleted scenes/ideas (if those do exist, RGG please let me in your vault I'd like to take a peak...)!
The psychology of Mine is another topic I've been wanting to officially tackle for a while now, so I'm glad I have this chance to share some of what I have mental bullet points for.
Moreover, Mine's dad and how he "left" Mine undeniably impacted him significantly beyond physically leaving him alone, and it definitely manifests in The Orphanage Scene and his idea that killing Daigo would be "putting him out of his misery". In those instances, he sees Daigo and the orphans as victims of an unfair reality, Daigo being comatose, and the orphans having the endure the struggles of being orphans (and that added-on, projected anxiety that their comfortable lives now could vanish at any second like it did for Mine). Mine's mustache-twirling villainy is funny for its absurdity, but I also genuinely appreciate it since it lets us peak into his warps philosophy better. It doesn't justify his actions by any means, but it explains to us why he can justify his actions as from a place of love or pity as opposed to thoughtless evil.
To add on, Mine's relationship with his father, from what we're allowed to gather, was healthy and positive. Because of their positive relationship, the removal of such adds credence as to why Mine's desperate to get that love again. It especially makes sense considering Japan's horrendous attitude and negligence towards orphaned children that was even demonstrated during Mine's childhood while his father was alive.
And as an inverse aside, Jo's relationship with his dad was toxic, whether it was due to blatant abuse or combined negligence. It's fair to assume that Jo never got to experience genuine, secure love growing up, so as a result, it's not something he actively seeks out. He's been without it long enough that it's not something he necessarily craves like Mine who used to have it until it was taken from him.
Masato certainly makes it clear he felt isolated despite the efforts Jo and Arakawa repeatedly went through for him, and it's apparent it's an unfortunate side affect of internalized ableism. It definitely doesn't help anyone's case that Masato had seemingly been informed of the night of his birthday's events (from Arakawa's point of view, obviously), and it's clear that knowledge gives ammunition as to why he resents him.
You're right on Jo potentially seeing Ichi as a bad actor, it's not as if he has disdain for him for no reason! Like even if Ichiban hadn't taken Masato's money the way Jo could have imagined, the idea that Ichi can't be responsible in one avenue can easily lead back to Ichi having the potential to look after Masato, especially when he seems to be the one who predominately looks after him when he's tasked to.
I've already got my program open to make my little chart and have my reference pictures ready, so hopefully I can have that silly thing out soon haha- I'm glad you're interested in seeing it, and I hope other people will like to see it too! Jo and Mine really are my favorite antagonists, so it's funny (and I guess not surprising) that they have parallels to them.
To add on to that though, I think it's fun to look at the extra details, no matter how small; I'm probably more happy than I should be that you looked at their office's books, but I can't help be a fan of the details you found (whether they're generic models or not, I'm running with them- I've done more with less before lmao)! Mine having language books is definitely in-line with his interests, but Jo having art history books is weirdly endearing (and dare I say another point for "these are the same picture" comparing it to Mine's own love for art). Jo being so private to the point of blocking out the binds of the books he owns is so accurate to him and his secrecy, and the concept that he likes to read about art in his spare time is a new favorite concept for me.
Mine really isn't acknowledged much after 4; in comparison to Ryuji and Nishiki, he's remembered throughout the series the least (you can argue the same for Ryuji, but considering he gets a whole new life in Dead Souls, I think it's fair to say that makes up for the mainline series forgetting about him. Though I guess the same could be Mine getting a prominent role as Hijikata in Ishin... Definitely not as cool of a spot as to be a playable protagonist with a machine gun arm if I'm honest). In that, it's great that his likelihood can exist in future characters, and I hope they continue the trend of phenomenal antagonists in LaD8 and onward!
I'm eternally grateful for this frame you've gifted me thank you so much- Nakai's smile is such a blessing honestly, I'm glad if anything survived from the interview it can be this shot at least.
I've got Princess Toyotomi and Hero SP added to my watch list, DEFINITELY something I'll be excited to check out as a reward once I have all my important business taken care of this week! Honestly, I haven't seen Musashi either: while I was looking through their filmography I saw it was a project they did, but I've always been bad at watching long series so I didn't take the time to see their performance together.
For things I have seen though... yeah he dies SORRY IF THAT WAS HOW YOU FOUND OUT </3</3 Honestly I didn't expect myself to love the series as much as I did (admittedly it was predominately because of the leads and their relationship), but when it happened I was both- dare I say crushed- a little humored a little funny in a dark-comedy way.
And if you do have access to harder-to-get films, I'd absolutely be interested in hearing about it. One of Nakai's movies Good Morning Show has been haunting me for weeks: it sounds like such a fun movie yet I can't find it anywhere </3
#long post#fave#i have to fave these now because i be putting my essay notes in these OOPSIE#snap chats#the state of the arakawas is probably one of my favorite things to explain to people BECAUSE its so complicated#i showed my sister the ending of Y7 despite her not knowing anything about the series since i was talking about how upset it made me#and i tried to explain the whole family situation since it was relevent#just... yeah so the guy in blue was put in a locker by his dad and then he got saved by another guy#and he did that because he thought the guy in blue was his kid- who is actually the guy in red#because /his/ mom put him in a locker because of yakuza business and she couldnt take care of him#but now dad-who-put-a-baby-in-a-locker came back so now he co-parents alongside the guy who took his baby#but theyre not together they just. raise 'their' kid but the other guy doesn't know that his co-parent is the /actual/ dad#i know i already made a parody of it but it genuinely has the set up to some goofy slice-of-life manga i love it ☠️☠️#its SO funny to try to explain its easy to understand if you put it down on paper or write it out but to verbally do it 😭☠️☠️#moving on tho i'd love to know more about that japanese psychology bit#im asian myself and tho obviously not all asian cultures are the same they overlap#so im curious to see if i can recognize any of the issues i notice in my own culture with that which can be applied to the arakawas + mine#the bit on his western idolization is something im interested in too ! esp based on the books in his office it could be an interestin topic#man i just keep looking at that interview picture and it really does have the energy of a proud dad and his son#maybe thats just because nakai's smile reminds me of my dads#but yes yes thank you again for writing it ! i know i keep saying it but i cant stress how nice it is to take this extensively#especially because not only do i learn a bit more and learn some details i missed but it also helps me expand my own thoughts#that i hope to make into bigger posts#on that note though i have one more quick post to make after this one then i have to tend to some of that Important Business..#and thank you for being a supporter of me and my work ! sometimes i get a bit self conscious about it#i know i post a lot too and i never expect people to interact with my things so im grateful for the knowledge you enjoy it !
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batfamfucker · 2 years
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My sleep schedule is very fucked. Deadass passed out at like 8AM and woke up at 6PM. Passed out again and actually got up at 9PM. I cannot sleep now and have two lectures tomorrow and maybe work
#It's reading weel next week but I cannot keep missing classes because of insomnia#Fam I need good attendance to get accepted onto a study abroad year#And I'm already struggling with the finances and grades of that like please don't make me worry about attendance too#A bitch is fighting for her life lmao#I have two essays due in like two weeks and we're only a month into the uni year and I know not how to write them#My grandma is also in hospital and she managed to catch covid in hospital 🙃 I'm very annoyed at the negligence of that#She is very weak anyway to the point they've put her on a DNR. And now she has covid too#If Covid takes its toll. Then that's it. They're not going to save her.#Sorry for the vent it's just been. A busy first few weeks#I'm very tired and very broke rn and my only source of joy is hoping I get to go on the year abroad next year#I wanna study in the US because that's where all the acting schools/jobs are. Worried? Yes. Worth it? Also yes#I know the USA is a hellhole politically so I'm also looking at safe states (Like where abortion is legal for example) but also.#It's landscape it highkey stunning#And I do like a lot of the stuff/opportunities there. Just not the people#These tags are all over the place. Anyway#Death tw#Hospital tw#Covid tw#Also my ADHD meds ran out like four days ago and the prescription delivery is taking too long because I moved to uni#Local Bitch Having Hard Time Amongst Already Being Unmedicated. More At 2. AM Rather Than PM Probably.#I have been living off of potatoes and tears.#Sweet potato fries slap and I am a great chef tho so slay for me I guess
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firebirdsdaughter · 2 years
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So…
… I kinda mumbled about this in the tags of another post, but I do love how the fam all has different roles and positions and strengths and weaknesses in their relationships.
Like it’s interesting how something unplanned can result in some really interesting character stuff. The introduction of Tara in a role I like to dub the ‘wine aunt’ even if it never involves wine, gives some really great new angles for the characters, both their flaws and strengths.
Bc the fact is, Sophie’s right, they needed someone with a clear view on hand, for different reasons. Parker and Hardison are still the younguns; they absolutely talk back to Nate, esp when he deserves it, but ultimately go along w/ him, bc he’s dad and ultimately they trust and care about him, and Parker’s got that touch of the chaotic herself, to put it mildly.
Eliot’s a little different. I love how different his relationship is w/ the ‘parents’ and as a result how differently he responds to Tara. Parker and Hardison are tense immediately bc the primary grifter they’ve worked w/ is Sophie, they’ve already settled into family roles, and Tara is just that much different that it’s awkward. Meanwhile, as Tara herself notes, Eliot is a consummate professional when it comes to the job, but even his initial response to Tara is wary (he’s half in protective mode until Nate confirms her story). Further on, Tara proves she can be relied on on cons, and Eliot has enough concern for her to call Nate out about her (although he’d do that for anyone), but there’s still a distance, and I think you really see it in that moment at the start of the Zanzibar ep where she brings up Nate’s drinking.
I already love the moment where Nate specifically looks back at Eliot after being forced to take a drink in the Bottle Job, the way Eliot’s reaction is shown first. Eliot is the left hand, imo he becomes Nate’s closest confidant after Sophie, he’s the one Sophie’s always colluding w/ about Nate’s behaviour, something she presumably let Tara know. But when Tara tries to talk about Nate’s drinking, Eliot… Kinda shuts her out. He doesn’t outright push her off, and some of it may be that Nate is right there, but the way he responds w/ ‘I’m not an idiot’ and bluntly tells her it’s a symptom comes across to me as him almost telling her she doesn’t know what she’s talking about; and looking back, he never discusses private matters w/ her like he does Sophie, and she never asks him again, bc when she did (albeit not the most tactful or polite way), he closed ranks and pushed her off. And I think that’s the danger w/ Eliot—Eliot will absolutely keep an eye on Nate, call him out, stand up to him, do his best to manage things, but his first instinct will always be to protect Nate. And that’s what he’s doing in that moment—sure, Tara can be counted on for jobs, but Nate’s drinking issues are something personal that Eliot’s not going to discuss w/ just anyone; it’d take much more time for him to fully open up to Tara about that, he’s only semi just solidified his attachment to Nate and the rest of the team in the previous finale. Nate is kinda already filling the role of surrogate father for him, and by now his loyalty to Nate is totally locked in. It ties in to that conversation they have outside the hotel in the finale, where Eliot reads Nate the riot act and Nate asks if he’s walking away (something I think he only ever directly asks Sophie and Eliot, he says ‘anyone can walk away’ a few times, but I think he only ever directly asks them if they’re leaving, but I should be in bed, so maybe I’m wrong), to which Eliot says no, he’ll have Nate’s back, but he’s going to say his piece. But he’s still in.
And that’s it. Eliot is nigh too loyal and protective. He’ll try to stop Nate going off the rails, but there’s only so much he can do, and if it happens he won’t pull the plug, he will never cut out. He’ll follow Nate to hell and try to protect him from it. And that’s why they need that additional piece.
They’re all just so interconnected and I love it.
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eternal-brainrot · 1 year
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biting biting biting biting
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bat-bestie · 2 years
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god everything sucks so bad right now
#big BIG vent in the tags heed the warning#cw pet loss#i don't even know where to start actually#im just a mess right now and i haven't even been able to say or type or think too hard about. the most important thing#god this sucks#my cat bunny. the one who's really nervous around everyone but trusts me. my girl#she hasn't been acting quite right lately so my mom took her to the vet and they say she has spinal cancer#and there's nothing we can do#and it's progressing really fast#she was fine just a few days before i left for college this semester#i haven't seen her in a month. month and a half#and now im going home for the weekend as an emergency visit and it's the last time i'll get to be with her.#this week has been fucking horrible it's midterms and i haven't been able to focus or study or think#im almost grateful ive been so busy with assignments because everytime i don't have anything i Have to do i breakdown#i had to ask one of my professors for an extension because im a wreck right now and he seemed like he almost didn't believe me too#he was like 'wellllll if it's an emergencyyy 😒'#sir i put my shirt on backwards and didn't notice literally all day i cannot write a fucking midterm essay like this#and i can't really talk about any of this either bc im always aware that if i kill the vibe too much people won't want to hang out with me#and just to make things a little bit worse i keep seeing people adopting cats or posting that theirs just had kittens everywhere#im just so upset. bunny is the most important thing in the world to me#in my worst moments when ive needed something to get me through it the fact that i can't leave her alone has been at the top of the list#i don't know how im gonna be able to be home without her#i fucking hate this#sorry for doomer posting go do something uplifting#delete later
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fionnaskyborn · 3 months
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in light of recent events: still feeling kinda "huh." about the fact that they canonized what was most likely a formatting error on bungie's part that occurred when the info sheets for noble team were being published as part of the promo campaign way back in the day. as of 2022, it's just. canon now. huh. alright.
#not a negative post at all‚ just feeling... uncharacteristically indifferent about it‚ given how much i care about NT as a whole and its#individual members (sans jun lmao that guy's lost all my good graces)#speaking of NT one day i'm gonna have to write an essay about emile and how the united nations space command wants total control over /how/#they want to cleanse the galaxy of anyone who would oppose them as emperors of mankind. think about it. you'd think that emile's hostility#towards the insurrectionists would work in their favor - after all‚ who in their right mind would decline a killing machine that is hellben#on killing your opposition? but the unsc /deliberately sidelines/ emile‚ deeming him ''too brutal'' for their standards. they want to#cleanse covertly‚ in silence. emile‚ as a byproduct of the cycle of war perpetuated by an imperialist ueg‚ does not serve their image of#a peaceful and just government they're trying to uphold to the civilian world (the ueg‚ despite being a civilian government‚ has#historically let the military complex (aka the united nations space command) make some of the most important decisions in the history of#mankind and politics - surely this is an idea that could not backfire in any way whatsoever and surely the military industrial complex will#not make decisions that will serve to perpetuate war and keep itself in business instead of ones that would benefit mankind at large)#he is brutal‚ relentless‚ and something that cannot be censored‚ cannot be /controlled/. so they sidelined him. it's not a matter of#brutality of one as opposed to the other (like so many are keen on pointing out) but rather about desperately trying to leash a creation#that a) emerged as a direct result of the conflict you're trying to perpetuate‚ b) taints your reputation and '''goodwill''' and c) is the#living‚ unfiltered embodiment of your desire to destroy and annihilate independent human colonies#well. looks like i ended up writing an essay after all. LMAO#logs#probably gonna put these tags in a separate post i think my observations are sound enough for me to unbind them rather than keep them as a#random tangent i went on
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mantisgodsdomain · 5 months
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We are going through the Hbomberguy video's Queer Video Essayist List to see if anything clicks and having the fun experience of taking all of five minutes to realize "wait a minute... we already know all this stuff! this guy's just saying it in a longer format!
#we speak#for context this is the queer horror essay#we put it on while we play picross games for fun and were going through the standard “long intro about vaguely tangential things” intro#where they say things like “horror is pretty queer” and establish that Horror Is In Fact Pretty Queer (we know this but its Standard)#and then they start getting in on the body horror parts and the horror of being transgender and we're like “yeah we know this also”#and then we're halfway in like "...okay we think we might know this already but we're hoping that it goes into insight we dont already have#we continue with the puzzles while still listening to the game. the voiceover keeps going with things we are Aware Of.#surely. we think. surely we will start getting the unique insights soon#the video ends. we are forced to confront the fact that we have spent more time researching and digging into this subject than the essayist#something something “ah yes the inherent horror of having a body the thing we stick in like 99% of our works in some way or another”#very tragically our perspective is skewed too much to fully appreciate this because we've already steeped ourself in the genre#we know this stuff. we are in fact writing stories that deal with the same damn themes in extremely similar dysphoria horror ways.#we are busy doing irritated antenna flicks at phrases like “elevated horror”#its just another genre of horror bro we really dont like acting like its in any way “better” because it integrates aspects of other genres#every story will integrate its own genre expectations and little fragments of other genres and a whole load of other stuff in different way#as someone who lives in this subgenre we are begging you not to put Our Sort Of Horror on a pedestal because its slightly more. artsy?#we dont even know the word but they call it elevated horror because it deals its horror in a way thats more Artsy and thus more palatable#it's a different flavor and that flavor happens to be farther away from the guts and gore and monsters usually associated with horror#but that does not mean it is in any way better than a slasher or a monster thing or any other kind of horror it just makes it different#it might be more or less palatable to you in being what it Is but it's still not like. “better”. “elevated”. it's just a different subgenre
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strang3lov3 · 5 months
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Pharmacy
Summary: (mall rats 6) Surrounded by medical supplies is a convenient time to slice your hand open. Joel wrestles your stubborn ass to treat your wound, then fucks you how you like.
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Tags: Jar Jar Binks, Star Wars opinions, manhandling, descriptions of injuries (I tried to keep it as short and sweet as I could, bc I myself am a squeamish girl!! I was squirming the whole time writing this!!!) blowjobs, f masturbation, kinda rough unprotected PIV, creampie, dirty talk, reader and Joel have googly eyes for each other
A/N: as always thank you so much @papipascalispunk for editing. Thank you all for your continued patience with my writing, I am a busy busy lady and you may not get another fic from me for two weeks or more with the whole finals thing, but I do have lots of shit planned! One thing at a time bug one thing at a time. I wish I could write smut for my history of Indiana final essay but I don’t think that would fly with my nun-obsessed professor. Also, thank you @noxturnalpascal and @speckledemerald for hyping me up ❤️❤️
Joel is standing in front of a map of the mall, studying it intently. It’s been a while since you’ve been at the mall with Joel, actually. With the weather getting worse with more and more snow, Tommy is trying to keep travel limited to patrol. Supply runs for necessities only, and Jackson is in need of medical supplies. Rubbing alcohol, gauze, bandages, first aid supplies. There’s actually a medical building not far from Jackson, but it’s pretty well picked over at this point. 
“Mall has a pharmacy. A CVS or Walgreens, somethin’ like that. I’ll go,” Joel had volunteered in Tommy’s office. 
“I’ll come too,” you added as you were helping Tommy fill out patrol logs.
Joel sighed, “No.” 
“Why not?”
“Supposed to be a quick trip. In and out. Don’t need you gettin’ distracted by lotions and perfumes again.”
“Those are necessities,” you argue, “Besides, buddy system. It’s important for us to stick together.” 
“We are not buddies,” Joel scoffed. Tommy raised his eyebrows in amusement.
“No? What are we, then?” 
Joel opened his mouth as if to answer with something sharp and argumentative, but no words came out. His cheeks turned rosy as you both shared an odd look, with Joel’s hands frozen on the buttons of his coat. The pencil you wrote with felt heavy in your hand, held awkwardly on the paper as you stared at Joel. You didn’t mean for that question to come out the way it did. What was the answer to the question, anyway? 
Tommy filled the silence with his own answer. “I know what y’all are,” he smirked. 
Joel shot Tommy a warning look, then took your jacket from behind your chair and held it open for you. “Let’s go, then,” he said. You put your arms through the sleeves, zipped yourself up and left. You could hear Tommy chuckling to himself as you walked out with Joel.
You rode horseback to the mall. Still feeling awkward from the interaction at Tommy’s, you both stayed silent, but the ride wasn’t uncomfortable. You hugged Joel tightly, and Joel savored the warmth of your cheek on his back. 
“Found it,” Joel taps the map, “I remember now. It’s downstairs.”
“Ha!” you brag, “I told you. I knew it was downstairs. I was right.” 
“Yeah, yeah. We’ll throw a party when we get home,” Joel replied, taking off towards the dilapidated staircase. You follow close behind, dragging your fingers against the railing, letting your hand tap each of the thin rods that support it. One breaks off and falls with a clatter. Joel doesn’t bother turning around to see what it was. “You break these stairs, you find us a new way out of here,” he warns. Dramatic. You pick up the thin rail and twirl it as you walk behind Joel, then poke his ass with the piece of metal. Already exhausted by you, he sighs, “What’d you find now, trouble?”
“Lightsaber,” you answer. 
“What?” Joel tilts his head and turns around to finally see what all the noise and clattering was. You’re holding one of the thin rods from the railing, still twirling it. “No, put that down,” he tells you, “You’re gonna give yourself tetanus. Put it down, sweetheart.”
“Ellie lent me this DVD. Did you ever see this old movie, Star Wars?”
“Quit while you’re ahead,” Joel grumbles, rolling his eyes and shaking his head, “Ain’t that old, smartass. And of course I’ve watched Star Wars, who do you think introduced it to her?”
“Oh,” you reply, “Well, there was this character, Jar Jar–”
“Nope,” Joel cuts you off, “You’re done. Lost your talkin’ privileges. Drop your lightsaber and zip it.”
Still twirling the rod you ask, “You don’t like Star Wars?”
“I like Star Wars. What you watched is not Star Wars.”
“Yes it is, Joel. It was on the DVD.” 
Joel turns back around and keeps walking, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” 
“Yeah I do. Mesa–”
Joel interrupts, “Do not finish that sentence,” he warns, “God, that movie was so stupid. Took Sarah to see it when it came out, we ended up leavin’ halfway through and gettin’ ice cream instead.” You watch Joel smile at the memory as you approach the pharmacy and he holds the door open for you. You smile with him. Joel doesn’t talk about Sarah much with you, but he mentions her now and then, at least more than he used to.
You and Joel find the first aid aisle of the pharmacy. He knows what to look for, so he peruses the aisles and stuffs his bag full of supplies. Watching him bend over, you can’t help but poke his ass again. “Knock it off, space cadet,” he says, annoyed.
You giggle to yourself and toss the rod aside. You hadn’t realized the end that you were holding was damaged when you broke it off the railing. Fuck. It’s sharp, jagged, and slices your palm all the way across. The rod clangs on the ground and startles Joel. 
Joel turns around to see the rod on the ground, and you clutching your fist tightly. “What’s in your hand?”
“Nothing,” you answer, feeling your hand become warm and wet. 
Joel connects the dots. He bends over and checks the rod for rust and there’s none, thank god. But the end is very jagged, almost serrated like a knife. “Open your hand.”
“No,” pressing your lips together, you lower your gaze and open your fist slightly to check your hand, then quickly shut it. Joel watches your eyes go wide and the color draining from your face. “It’s n–mmm,” you hum, your voice shaky, “I’m fine.” 
“You’re not fine,” Joel reaches for your hand, “You’re hurt. Need to see how deep that cut is, clean it and–”
You shove Joel backward with your free hand, and he looks momentarily taken aback. There was a lot more strength behind that shove than he would have anticipated. You’re not playing, not teasing like usual. “Do you wanna try that again?” he asks, his voice firm.
“Don’t touch me.” 
Joel takes in your expression. You’re not trying to start a fight with him, you look worried, anxious, and defensive with pale lips and trembling hands. You had mentioned not handling blood or pain well before, but he didn’t know you were this squeamish, you poor thing. “I have to, hon.”
“Joel…”
Joel raises a hand in your direction, “Don’t argue with me on this. You need to sit down, I can tell you’re gettin’ freaked.”
“Joel,” you say his name again in a warning tone, much sharper than before. 
“I know,” he says softly, as he steps closer to you, and you step back, your feet hitting the wall behind you. You’re feeling more amped up now. “Just let me look,” as he reaches for your wrist and pulls you closer, his grip tightening when you struggle against him and try to pull your arm away. “Quit squrimin’,” he grits his teeth as he fights against your strength. Minding his own strength, and with one hand gripping your wrist, he moves the other to your shoulder and forces you to the ground as gently as he can. A sliced hand is bad enough, he doesn’t need you fainting and cracking your skull open. You kick your legs and punch against him, but he pins his body on top of yours, your free hand between your body and his leg.
“Get the fuck off me, Joel,” you spit, “Get off, get off, get–”
“Hey. Hey,” he says, his voice firm yet gentle, “Breathe, sweetheart. I know you’re nervous.”
You stare at Joel with fiery eyes, breathing heavily through your nose. Shallow breaths, probably not getting enough oxygen to your brain, but at least you’re breathing. Joel gives you a moment to settle down.
“I need you to listen to me,” he tells you, “I don’t know how deep your cut is. I need you to let me look.”
“Please,” you beg, “Please don’t.”
“I’m gonna be gentle,” Joel promises as he flips your wrist up, gently beginning to pry your fingers open, “You look at me. Don’t look at your hand. Just look at me. Will you trust me?” 
Nodding apprehensively, you keep your focus on Joel. He nods in response, then examines your palm. He bites his cheek and frowns. 
“Is it bad?” you ask shakily.
“Uhh,” he hums, “It’s not good,” he answers you honestly. You’re cut in multiple areas and by the looks of it, the gashes go pretty deep. “You might need stitches.”
Fuck that. You squirm under Joel with all of your might to force him off of you. 
“Stop thrashin’. Stop it,” he says, holding your jaw firmly and looking into your eyes, “I’m not gonna stitch ya. We can cross that bridge when we get to Jackson. But you are risking infection. So I’m going to stop the bleeding, wash it, disinfect, then wrap your hand. That’s all.”
He has a tendency to get frustrated with you, and you’re sure he’s beyond frustrated with you right now, but he’s not showing it. He looks sincere, but you’re still on edge and lacking assurance. “Promise?” you whisper.
“I swear,” he assures softly, rubbing your jaw gently with his thumb. When you nod in response, Joel takes his coat off and folds it, then slides it under your head. He needs you as comfortable as you can be. 
“We are gonna have to amputate, though,” he jokes as he pulls out a rag from his bag and presses it into your hand. You give him a dirty look. “Kidding,” he says. 
Joel removes the rag to see if your hand is still bleeding. You catch a glimpse of the cut and the blood in your palm, running down your wrist, “Oh god, my hand, Joel–”
“Don’t look,” he repeats, “Just keep lookin’ at me, sweetheart.”
But you don’t. You can’t seem to peel your eyes away, and you feel lightheaded. Joel notices.
“Tell me somethin’ new,” he says, distracting you from the pain.
“Joel, please,” you whine.
“Somethin’ new,” he reminds you.
“I saw a cat yesterday.”
Joel nods in response. “What color?” he asks.
“Uh, calico,” you reply. He’s reaching into his bag, pulling out his canteen and rinsing your hand out with his water. The cool water feels soothing on your palm. 
“What’s calico?”
“It’s when a cat has three colors, Joel,” you answer impatiently, as if the answer should be glaringly obvious to him. “Fuck,”  you hiss, as he pats the wound dry. The fabric feels irritating and painful against you. 
“Tell me more. Tell me good things.”
Following his instructions, you begin rambling. It’s not hard once you start. “I saw a cat and I kicked Tommy’s ass in a board game and his baby is so cute, by the way. Almost as cute as the cat.”
“You think cats are cuter than babies?”
“Obviously. Babies are gross and they’re noisy and I finished the sweater I was crocheting for Maria and the snow looks pretty and I love you and I…” 
Joel pauses his work on your hand momentarily. He doesn't hear anything else you say after those three words. I love you. It’s a fuzzy sort of quiet, he’s in disbelief. I love you. When your hand twitches, he pulls his focus back to you.
“...And I watched Star Wars.”
“Yeah,” he replies quietly, “You said that already, you said–”
“I did? Oh yeah. I guess I did.”
You’re clearly delirious, in panic mode, and not thinking straight. You don’t remember talking about Star Wars an hour ago, you don’t even realize what just slipped your lips a second ago. Joel smiles to himself. He’s suspected it for a while. He loves you too. But that’s a conversation for later. There’s a more pressing issue at hand, quite literally.
Joel clears his throat and blinks a couple of times. “Uhm,” he hums, thinking of something to say, “And you said you got that movie from Ellie? The Phantom Menace?” 
“Star Wars.”
“Yeah, Star Wars Episode I, The Phantom Menace,” he corrects you. You shrug. “Unbelievable,” Joel says, “Thought I taught that girl better.” He reaches for a bottle of rubbing alcohol and keeps your hand open in his. “Alright, deep breath in and out. This is the worst part, then we’re done.” 
Before you have time to breathe in and out as instructed, before you have time to argue, Joel dumps the alcohol in your palm. You yelp and tug your hand away, but he holds it still.
“I know, I know, I know, baby,” he coos, “Almost done.”
“Joel,” you cry.
“Look, all done,” he whispers as tears off a piece of gauze and lays it over your gash. “See? All done. Just need to wrap it,” Joel prepares more gauze, “Makes sense you’ve identified with Jar Jar, of all characters.” 
“What do you mean?”
Joel begins to wrap the bandage tightly around your hand. “Clumsy,” he murmurs, “Troublemakin’... accident prone.” 
“I don’t think you like Star Wars,” you tell him.
“Not the prequels,” Joel replies, “Only good thing about the outbreak is that they couldn’t finish that godforsaken mess of a trilogy.”
“What do you mean, ‘prequels’?”
“There was an original trilogy that came out before that movie you watched. Ellie didn’t show you them?”, and you shake your head no, “So you don’t know Han Solo or Princess Leia. That means nothin’ to ya?”
“Nope.”
“Jesus Christ. What about C-3PO? R2-D2?”
“Oh, yeah. I know them. They were in that movie.”
“No,” Joel disagrees, then looking baffled for a second before nodding his head as he remembers the hour he spent watching that movie with Sarah years and years ago. “Mm, yeah, you’re right. Guess they were,” Joel concedes, “We’ll have to rectify this, you know. Have a movie night sometime.” 
“Yeah,” you agree, “You can make me popcorn.” 
“I’ll make you popcorn,” Joel says, watching a smile form on your lips. “There it is,” he praises, “Missed that smile. Don’t like seein’ you upset like that,” he murmurs, finishing your bandage wrap and securing it in place. “What am I gonna do with you?” he asks as he presses a kiss to your palm before he lets your hand go. You can still feel the warmth of his touch on your skin as he watches you and your cheeks begin to warm.
“I know what you’re gonna do with me,” you whisper. 
I’m gonna kiss you, and I’ll tell you that I love you too. That’s what I’m gonna do with you, Joel thinks, his heart beginning to race.
“Tell me, sweetheart.” 
“You’re gonna listen to my Jar Jar impression.”
Joel sighs. He watches you with adoration, and he wants nothing more than to express that adoration for you. It’ll happen when it happens. He decides to let it go for now and play along with you instead, however you want to. You deserve it, after all. He’ll put up a facade like you drive him crazy and he’ll let you believe you’re really getting under his skin, just to watch you smile and hear you laugh like you really got him this time. And he’ll tease you back, at least once more. 
“Please spare me until I lose my hearing in my other ear.” 
You oblige, smiling and rolling your eyes. Still holding eye contact with Joel, you become acutely aware of the position you’re in, that all too familiar position. Faces close, bodies closer and staring into his sparkly, warm brown eyes with his weight pressing into you. Maybe it’s the adrenaline, the way he took care of you, who knows. Out of the blue, you’re turned on and Joel knows. Joel cocks an eyebrow when your breath hitches, when you bite your lip and begin to squirm underneath him, seemingly now uncomfortable, aroused no doubt. “Time and place, hon,” he smirks smugly.
Heat rises up your neck and your cheeks at his accusation, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 
“Yeah, you do. I know how you operate,” he asserts. “What’s got ya all worked up all of a sudden?” Joel asks, his hand caressing your cheek, your jaw.
“Nothing,” you lie. Your skin burns where his fingers trace.
“I think you’re lyin’. I know you like when I get rough with ya, just wasn’t expectin’ ya to like it now of all times, when I had to wrestle you down to fix that gash in your hand,” Joel taunts, “You’re very stubborn sometimes, you know that?” 
“Challenging,” you counter his claim, “And I wasn’t being stubborn. I could have taken care of my hand myself. I didn’t really need your help.”
Joel knows that’s a lie. You did, in fact, need his help. Badly. 
“That right there is stubborn.”
“No,” you argue, “And I’m not worked up right now, either.” Joel makes an amused face at you, and you wince internally. 
Shit. You fucked that up. Overcompensated.
“Right. Course not.” 
Against your better judgment, you open your mouth to argue further but Joel hushes you. “What do I get if you’re wet right now, sweetheart?” he whispers, unbuttoning your jeans. Your tummy flutters with desire as his fingertips skate across your skin. “You’re more than welcome to stop me right now,” he purrs. He’s giving you an out, a moment to make a choice, but you don’t dare stop him. And Joel grins. He snakes his hand down your pants, underneath your thin cotton panties. The anticipation builds with the tickle of his fingers lightly dragging over your mound, his middle and ring fingers tracing over your lips. You gasp quietly when he dips his fingers at your core, his fingertips collecting your arousal. You stifle a whine as he pulls his hand away from your body, showing you his two fingers glistening with your slick. Joel clicks his tongue, “Can’t be comfortable,” he murmurs, his tone sarcastic and sympathetic all at the same time. “This all for me?”
“No,” you breathe shakily. Yes. 
“You’re lyin’ to me,” he mumbles, bringing his two fingers to his lips. His mouth makes obscene noises as he sucks them clean of your arousal, humming at the sweet taste. Before you can think, he’s pulling your pants and underwear down in one fell swoop, his fingers finding their place back at your pussy. “You could tell me the truth and I’d go easy on ya,” he offers, his thumb pressing against your clit.
You love the thrill, that feeling in your stomach. Joel gives you a moment to answer, but you don’t. “No?”  he asks before situating himself on the ground with you, backing himself against a wall and pulling you into his lap. “Gonna make it worse for yourself,” he says, spreading your legs apart and hiking up your shirt, one hand playing with your pussy and the other kneading your breasts, teasing your nipples, “Why don’t you tell me how much ya needed this, hm? How you want me to make it all better.”
You sigh, a soft Joel falling from your lips as you become wetter, more sensitive as Joel’s fingers dance through your slick folds. He pushes two fingers inside you, fingers curling into that spot that he so loves. His thumb rubs tight, steady circles around your clit and he flicks the thumb of his other hand across your sensitive nipples, the combination of actions filling you with a deep, hot pleasure. You rest your head on his shoulder, the scratchy hairs on his cheek pressing against your forehead. You reach behind yourself to touch him, tangling your fingers in his curls.
“We’ll do this the hard way, then,” Joel shoves you forward, careful not to use too much of his strength but enough to let you know that he’s in charge. He’s always in charge. He takes his folded coat from the ground and positions it in front of himself. He stands up tall, knees popping as he rises. “Since you have nothin’ better to do with your mouth than tellin’ lies…”  Joel snaps and points to his coat, “Might as well keep you quiet instead. Down,” he instructs, “On your knees. Do it now.”
“Yes, Joel,” as you assume the position.
“Ah, now she speaks,” he taunts, the quiet metallic clang of him undoing his belt buckle sending excitement shooting through you. “Open,” is his next command, “Nice n’ wide, hon, you know how,” he instructs as he pulls out his cock, hard and with a pearly bead of precum glistening on his head. You open your mouth for Joel, eyes wide and Joel taps his member on your tongue. “Keep ya from doin’ that stupid fuckin’ impression, too.”
Your eyes light up as you think of something quippy to say, but Joel slides his cock into your mouth to keep you from doing so. “Ah-ah,” he tuts, “Quiet.” He’s delicious, masculine, heady, and intense. He fills your mouth entirely and you swirl your tongue around him, tracing thick veins and salty skin. “Attagirl,” Joel praises you, gripping the back of your head and pushing himself further into your mouth. You nearly gag, pulling back slightly but he holds you right where he wants you, “Right there.”
He pushes you further than you’re used to, but not to the point of discomfort. His tummy nudges your forehead as your nose presses against dark curls at the base of his dick and you use your hand to cup his balls. As you hum against him, you wonder if Joel intends for this to be a punishment. His tone and the way he conducts himself is commanding, but the way he fucks your mouth is gentle. 
“Still not worked up, right? Don’t need me?”, he asks, staring down at you with raised eyebrows. You shake your head no, lying again. “Okay,” he says, “I wanna watch you fuck yourself on your fingers. But don’t come. Not until you tell me what I wanna hear.” 
Your eyes flutter shut as you bring your fingers to your core, feeling your arousal. You push two fingers into your dripping pussy, pumping them in and out and trying to mimic the way it feels when Joel does it.
As you fuck yourself, you hollow your cheeks around his thick cock, letting him feel every inch of your soft and wet mouth. He’s domineering above you, but his hand on your cheek is gentle, caressing your skin softly. He looks down at you through hooded lids and as your eyes flutter shut, you wonder what he’s thinking. 
The way you’re touching your pussy hardly counts as fucking yourself, it’s teasing at best, and excruciating at that. You rub circles around your clit steadily, subtly, needing more than what he’s told you to give yourself. With your fingers working your clit and your mouth working Joel, the familiar pleasure of your climax is just within reach. Feeling yourself reaching your peak, you look up at Joel, “What are you doin’?”, he asks, like he’s caught you doing something you shouldn’t be.
You pull your mouth off of his cock to whisper, “Please, Joel,” which garners an irritated look from him. Joel bends lower to grab you by your bicep and force you to your feet, spinning you around and bending you over an empty shelf of an end cap. He parts your legs and drags his cock through your folds with one hand, the other gripping your hip. 
“Need those magic words, sweetheart. Say it, ‘I need you, Joel’. Go on, now. You got it.”
With the leftover feeling of your ruined orgasm and Joel’s cock teasing your pussy, you fold immediately. “I need you, Joel,” you breathe, “I need you.” 
“Tell me more. How do you need me?” as he continues to tease. 
“Need you to fuck me,” you gasp, “Please.”
“Need me to fuck ya,” he repeats, amused. Joel notches the tip of his cock at your entrance, “How ‘bout that. Tell me somethin’ I didn’t know.” 
It’s a rhetorical question. He doesn’t give you time to answer before he buries himself inside of you. You groan at the sudden intrusion, how deeply he enters you and how full you feel. 
He doesn’t need to experiment with you, doesn’t need to vary how he fucks you. You grip the edge of the end cap with both hands as he finds his pace immediately. His cock hits you right where you need him. 
“Hey, hey,” he whispers, reaching for your bandaged hand, “Don’t hold that. S’gonna hurt your hand. Hold mine instead,” as he wraps his palm around yours. “Better?”
“Better.”
You’re lost in it all, his hand holding yours tightly and his thighs hitting your ass, his balls slapping against your clit. His face is right next to yours, his nose buried in your hair as he nips at your ear. 
“Fuck,” he grunts as he fucks you. He moans softly, his breath feels warm. Each thrust feels deep and intentional. “Good girl. Takin’ my cock so good.”
“Yes, Joel,” you moan. 
He makes stuttering, strangled sort of noises. His breathing is sharp and unsteady through his gritted teeth, and you wish you could see him like this. You can just about picture him perfectly, his messy salt and pepper curls and that deep set line between his brows. 
He fucks you hard and rough, both of you panting and moaning. Soon enough, his rhythm becomes frenetic and stuttering. “Squ– fuck, squeezin’ me too good, I’m not gonna last, sweetheart.”
“Let me come, Joel,” you plead, “Please.”
“I know, I know. Don’t need to beg me, darlin’,” Joel coos. He snakes his hand between your thighs and quickly finds your clit, his thrusts still steady and deep. He expertly paints circles around your clit as he becomes sloppier and frenzied. 
“Oh god, oh fuck, Joel,” you’re gasping, feeling your walls begin to clench and squeeze him, “Right there, right there, fuck.”
“Yeah, s’it, let go for me,” he pants. 
With a few more circles tracing your clit, you fall apart on him. You come with a loud gasp, gripping his hand hard. Even after he helps you ride out your orgasm, he doesn’t yet stop fucking you, and the sensation is becoming all too much. You bite your lip to stifle yourself as he chases his own orgasm, and he spills into you with shuddering breaths and grunts, painting your insides with his seed.
You catch your breath with Joel as he begins to go soft inside you. You feel empty when he pulls out of you, craving the weight of his hand on yours after he lets go. As your breathing slows, turn around to face Joel. His dominant, taunting demeanor is gone and he helps you back into your clothes, then examines the bandage on your hand. He frowns when he sees he’s crumpled it and dampened it with his sweat. “Hang on,” he murmurs, quickly reaching for more gauze to rewrap it. 
You touch his shoulder, “Just– let’s wrap it again at home. It’s just gonna get ruined again.”
“No, I promise I’m not gonna clean it again, I just wanna–” Joel stops talking when you reach for his hand. He looks at where his hand connects with yours, then looks at you. “Okay,” he says. He stares at you intently, as if waiting for you to say more. You look like you want to.
Hand in Joel’s, you walk together out of the mall. The horseback ride home is quiet. You hug Joel tightly, and Joel savors the warmth of your cheek on his back again.
“Joel?” you ask. 
“Yeah, hon.”
“You’re sure you don’t wanna hear my impression?”
“I’m sure,” Joel says, but you can hear the smile in his voice. 
as always, i appreciate all of my readers. please please please leave a comment/reblog/send an ask if you enjoyed, your comments really do mean the world and keep me going <3
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csuitebitches · 5 months
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Things I Have to do for My Sanity
1. Wake up at the first alarm - no snoozing and no going lying around in bed. Getting up straight away and head to the bathroom. It’s going to suck initially but you’ll get used to it in a few days.
2. Mental self care: 30 minute meditation, brain games mental math, reading, news. Knowledge is sexy and don’t deny yourself sexiness.
3. Daily review in my diary at the beginning and end of my day: what went well, what didn’t, what I need to accomplish to achieve my goals. This has tremendously helped my goals and keeping my motivation more consistent, especially at work. Analysing and correcting incremental changes creates long term success.
4. Cleaning up before bed - clothes, shoes, organising my bag, etc. I set a timer for 5 minutes and try to get as much done as possible.
5. Pick out my clothes the night before and steam iron them for the next day.
6. Face masks twice a week, a hair mask once a week, I scrub the soles of my feet with that foot scrubbing thingy once a week. Manicures every month because my nail beds are too sensitive to do it biweekly, iron supplements so that I’m not a moody bitch. Matching underwear to feel good about myself. Lavender spray on my pillow before sleeping so that I don’t get weird dreams.
7. Reading biographies and autobiographies. My mentor had suggested this to me and it’s amazing how literally I don’t have a single original experience - everything I’ve felt or mistakes I’ve made have already been done by someone else.
I’m going to curate a list of business books that I feel that have helped me the most recently.
8. I write a short essay everyday in the language I’m currently learning. I also end my day by talking about my day for at least 2 minutes in that language and I record it in voice memos to keep a track of my progress. I want to be fluent to a level where I can think in this language.
I don’t generally share a lot about my personal life - none of you know my name or where I’m based and I feel comfortable doing that. But I do want to start giving out more insights to what I’m doing personally in my career - the good, the bad, the ugly.
Being self aware and honest to myself has helped me improve a lot. I know that shame is my Achilles heel, so now I’m reading books to combat that. I’ve caved in and decided to try therapy for a bit to see if what I’m doing is useful or not. My first session is tomorrow. Staying disciplined was my initial hurdle but the systems I’ve set (waking up early + habit stacking) have helped me slowly overcome that.
Work side, I’ve started establishing myself publicly more. I don’t want to reveal too much about what I do exactly but the good news is that our biggest competitor has noticed my progress (a former employee of that company came to us for an interview and directly asked our top management about me). It’s been 4 months that I’ve been working here but I know that next year I really have to swing the bat and hit a home run. I’ve decided to work on the field more and less in the office to really understand people’s needs and create unique solutions.
The daily/weekly/quarterly diary is definitely credited to my recent wins. That’s the biggest change I’ve made in my routine and i can already see that it’s working well. I’m going to continue refining and implementing that method.
Recent work methods I’ve decided to start working on (I’m not required to do these but I do it for my growth):
1. I’ve started studying popular companies’ business and revenue models in detail. Everything is adoptable and adaptable, you just have to figure out how to tweak something for your company’s clients and needs. Now I’ve decided that I want to keep a track of our competitors, their business models, their owners names, pricing strategy, their target audience etc etc on an excel sheet so that I’m aware with what’s happening in the market. 
2. I’ve started making client profiles. Every time I meet a client, I note down their name, the company name, what they were like, anything specific they seemed to like or want, how much they had paid us for a service, what their paying capacity could be, etc. 
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prongsiepotter · 4 days
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down bad | j. potter
summary: you're so in love with james potter but he's a little too good at giving you mixed signals that it might actually ruin you
pairing: james potter x reader
warnings: angst, a little fluff if u squint, and so much longing & yearning. omg so much of it
a/n: i am unfortunately completely obsessed with taylor swift's new album, so everything i'll write in the near future will be based on one of the ttpd songs (yey!) & this one's based on 'down bad.' feel free to send requests if u want pick the next song for me x
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"So he just said no?" Mary all but hisses. Marlene shushes her, glancing around the classroom before leaning down from where she's sitting on your desk.
"Are you sure it didn't mean something else?" She rests her hand on yours. "Maybe it was just a misunderstanding. He wouldn't…he just wouldn't, right?" You smile weakly at her, then shake your head. She squeezes your hand.
"The note was pretty clear," you say with a soft sigh. The sentence rolls off your tongue with unhidden bitterness. "Sorry, can't. Need to catch up on some assignments."
You would show it to them, so they could see for themselves and maybe divert their sympathetic gazes from you. But you had set it on fire right after reading it, just like the other two notes friendly rejecting you. You still aren't sure why you did it. After all, you did just tell Mary and Marlene that you're fine. At least you will be. You should not be this devastated over some guy.
Even if that guy is James Potter.
James who is now strolling into the room with his mates, looking as invincible and full of life as he always has and always will.
Quickly, you force a smile at the girls and pull out the chair next to you. Marlene, bless her, gets the hint and lightly shoves Mary's shoulder to have her take the seat. You're going through your book bag, pulling out your inkwell when four bodies make their way past your desk.
"Ladies," comes Sirius cheerfully loud voice as he bows at the waist because, of course, he does. Peter and Remus aren't as dramatic with their greetings. The latter, however, does take the time to slow down in front of you until you look up and return his kind smile. Belatedly, you realise perhaps you shouldn't have done that. You lock eyes with James, who's right behind him.
He sends you an easy smile and a wink. Like he's letting you in on another one of his rare secrets. You're not sure if you're smiling back, but it's almost a given that you are.
He takes his seat behind you, laughing blithely at a joke Pete just told, and it's all so painfully charming that you want to die. You fear he will always make you feel like this. Like you're somehow the chosen one. It's such a sickening feeling, you can't help but whip around and look at Mary, pleadingly. Though, you're not sure what you're pleading for anymore.
She shoots you another unbearably sympathetic smile, looking like she's close to cooing at you. You sigh, hiding your face in the crook of your arms.
You can't help but think how easy it would be to just cry right here. It's embarrassing to admit, but you've done it plenty of times over the weekend after you had seen James out at Hogsmeade with the others. Miserably, you had realised that he was, in fact, not too busy working on his assignments. He just didn't want to spend time with you.
You almost let out a sob.
A hand rubs your back and you know it can only be Mary, but you let yourself believe that it's the universe consoling you, as if to say there, there because there's nothing fair about this and she knows it, but there's nothing she can do it about now, can she?
History of Magic passes in a blur. Before you know it, you're in the library, pouring all of yourself into an essay that you normally couldn't have cared less for. But you're willing to do whatever it takes to keep yourself busy. You know your thoughts will stray the moment you're lying quietly in bed anyway, awaiting another sleepless night.
You finish the sentence and look up, satisfied with your work. Apparently it's been a while since you've torn your gaze away from the parchment before you, seeing how stiff your neck is. You knead at the uncomfortable knot in your shoulder while looking around the library. It's relatively full today with every other seat being taken.
Which makes it all the more irritating when your gaze snatches on a figure sat at the other table right across from you. He's not even looking up, head bent over a book, but you would recognise that mop of unruly dark curls anywhere. James must've seen you when he came in, but that might have just been your hopeful self speaking.
Begrudgingly, you resume your writing and it takes everything in you not to look up every few minutes. To glimpse the slight furrow in his brows and the small pout of his lips as he's carefully reading every paragraph. You know he's likely looking for something to prepare for a prank. Normally, you would simply go over and ask him what he's up to. You know he'd happily tell you. But you're glad to have at least a little bit of pride and dignity left that keeps you rooted in your spot.
Seemingly not enough though since all you can think about is that there's no way he doesn't know that you're right there. It really does make you want to bang your head against the table. Maybe that would finally catch James' attention.
Pathetically, you glance at him only to notice that he's packing his things to leave. The tip of your feather goes back to the parchment so fast, it almost pierces it. You haven't got a clue what you're writing, too busy tracking James' movements from the corner of your eyes.
You watch him stand up, walking down the length of his table towards the door down the hall on his right. Then he stops. You hold your breath. James seemingly hesitates before fixing the strap of his bag on his shoulder. He turns left and walks towards you. You're staring at your hand as it writes illegible words, completely out of your control, when you feel a tap on your shoulder.
"Hey," James whispers when you look up, giving you a familiar grin and small wave. It's an innocent gesture, sweet, but there's almost something hostile about this encounter. Like you have no choice but to let him occupy every single one of your senses. You stare up at him, a matching smile sweeping over your lips before you can think better of it.
That's when you notice the scarf he's wearing and its frizzled ends. It's yours. You know it is.
Did he not give it back to you after one of your nights out together on the stands? After you had flown on your brooms, so close to the sea of stars that you could've dipped your fingertips in them? You could almost hear the echoes of your windblown laughters as the memory pushes itself into the foreground of your mind.
James is sitting still, rosy-cheeked, watching you with curious eyes while you babble on about the Leo constellation. He had just told you that you could do whatever you want to him—another quite maddening thing to casually say to someone—and now he's apparently keen on staying true to his word by letting you wrap your scarf around his neck.
It took some convincing before he'd finally accepted it from you. You promised that you wouldn't be cold with your high collared sweater, but James only gave in when you had accepted his wool hat in exchange.
He had carefully put it on you, smoothing down your hair and pulling out some loose strands to frame your face, mumbling something about how much lovelier his hat looked on you than on him. You told yourself that he surely must've known what it did to you when his knuckles brushed your cheeks. Right? Surely.
James pokes your side, chuckling, as if he sensed that your mind was drifting elsewhere. He cracks another joke, saying that if you were the one to teach him Astronomy, he might actually pay attention in class. He says it like it's a deal and you feel inclined to do whatever it takes to hold up your side of the bargain.
You laugh helplessly, feeling drunk on a little bit of everything; the stars above, James' gentle laughter, the familiar smell of broom wax and crisp winter air. This must be cosmic love, you think to yourself. Your breath clouds in front of you, becoming one with his. All the while, you're too aware of James' shoulder bumping into you, his leg pressed against yours. There's no one out here but you two.
You have all the room in the world, but James chose to sit this close to you. Probably close enough for him to hear your heart pounding. Did he do it for a reason? You'd love to know.
"You don't need me to pay attention in Astronomy," you find yourself saying in response, something daring laced in the drawl of your voice. His eyes flash, bright and a bit wild. It's the same look he gets after you challenge him to a race on your brooms. His grin grows wide, carefree, and oh so lovely.
"Please." His face comes impossibly closer and you lean in without another thought, eager to take whatever it is James will give you. You feel his breath on your lips.
"I will always need you, Y/N."
Somehow he makes it sound genuine.
Then he winks and leaves you a horrid, forsaken mess. Somehow he makes that feel like a nice gesture too.
Incredulously, you stare at him as he leans back, elbows resting on the seats behind him. James Potter, you think weakly, what are you doing to me? Not for the first time you ponder what you would do if you can't have him. You almost double over from the striking pain in your chest.
Then he points out another constellation and you nearly forget all about yourself. He's good at that. Never ceasing to show you that the world is bigger than the two of you. Making you forget and remember that you might be in love. Because what if you were in love?
James cups the back of his neck, then points towards the door of the library, almost shyly letting you know that he's leaving. You nod slowly, still dazed. A small smile crosses his lips before you watch him round the corner, his back disappearing from your sight.
You blink, letting out a ragged breath. You feel like you got the wind knocked out of you. Like you just lost your twin. Someone who knows you like no one else ever will. Someone who might just be your better half. Someone who sometimes makes you feel like they want nothing to do with you.
It's ridiculous, you think bleakly to yourself, you're so down bad.
And James Potter makes it feel like a curse and a blessing.
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folkwhoredoll · 29 days
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soothing touch - rafe cameron x fem!reader
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pairing: rafe cameron x fem!reader
synopsis: after a tiresome week, your boyfriend knows just how to help
word count: 2.1k
warnings/tags: smut! (f oral, unprotected sex, nipple play), soft bf!rafe
a/n: hi everyone! i don't think i can ever say this enough but thank you for your support! however i might be inactive for the next days or weeks because easter break is over :< but i promise to keep writing whenever i can <3 i hope you'll like this one. happy reading!
masterlist
+*:ꔫ:*﹤
“Baby, come lay with me.” You heard your boyfriend whine from the bed.
“Just a few more minutes, Rafey. I need to finish this essay, or I’ll lose my train of thought.” You replied without looking at him, eyes steady between your laptop screen and keyboard.
Rafe groaned, growing impatient after hearing you use the same excuse for the third time.
It had been over two hours since he laid on the bed and over two hours that you refused to join him. The past weeks have made you busy, considering you were a graduating student. There were deadlines here and there, you have experienced sleepless nights for the past few days, and coffee is probably the only liquid cursing through your veins.
Rafe knew it was coming and made sure to help in any way possible, but it doesn’t mean he was okay with it. He missed taking you out on dates and golfing sessions, but it has been almost a month since he was able to do so.
He came to your house a few hours ago and brought you snacks you felt incredibly grateful for. You welcomed and greeted him, then returned to your room to sit in front of your laptop.
“I’m sorry, babe. I promise I’ll just finish this essay, and then we can cuddle, okay?” You offered to him softly, feeling bad that you’d ignored him.
Rafe, who has a stern exterior towards other people, is always soft towards you. His eyes softened upon hearing your offer, wanting nothing more than for you two to spend the night together.
“Okay. I’ll wait for you.”
You flashed him a smile, your fingers desperately working to finish your essay.
Around half an hour later, you were typing out the last sentence for your draft. You inhaled deeply and stretched your back before shutting down the computer, deciding that you would just do your revisions in the morning.
“Finally.” You heard Rafe’s voice, making you chuckle, and excitedly made your way to the bed where your boyfriend was adorably tucked in the covers. “Hi, baby.”
You crawled in his arms, feeling extremely relaxed now that you were out of your stiff chair. “Hi, Rafey.”
“What do you want to do now?” He asked you sweetly, letting you decide depending on how you were feeling.
You thought momentarily, looking at the time and realizing it was almost midnight. Yet, surprisingly, you didn’t feel an ounce of sleepiness.
“Hmm, I don’t know. I’m not sleepy yet. You?”
 “Nah. I’m not sleepy, too.” Rafe shook his head before an idea popped into his mind. “You want me to give you a massage?”
Without hesitation, you agreed, nodding your head quickly. “Yes, please. My back hurts so much.”
Rafe gave you a pitied look. “Aw, baby. I got you; go get ready.”
You positioned yourself on the bed, grabbing a pillow where you can rest your head on. You sat up for a while to remove the thin sweater that hugged your torso. Your bra followed after you skillfully removed the clasps on your back. The amount of times that Rafe had seen you naked has made you shameless in making such gestures in front of him.
Meanwhile, Rafe watched your actions as he positioned himself behind you, hungrily eyeing your bare back before reminding himself that he was supposed to help you relax.
“Lay down on your stomach, pretty girl.” He spoke.
You did as he asked, sighing relief when your front side made contact with your sheets.
Knowing your room like the back of his hand, Rafe grabbed a bottle of lavender oil from your bedside drawer. He squeezed out a small amount, only enough to cover your back. Once satisfied, he warmed up the oil by rubbing it between his palms before putting it on your skin.
You let out a soft moan at the contact; the minty feeling from the oil and the feeling of your boyfriend’s large hands on your back made you instantly relax.
Rafe continued to give you a massage until his hands were dry from the oil, giving your back continuous strokes while you were on the verge of sleeping.
Little do you know, your breathy sighs have awakened something in Rafe.
He cleared his throat after several minutes, leaning down to check if you were sleeping. After seeing your opened eyes, Rafe relaxed and gave you a smile. “You feeling better?”
You mumbled a ‘yes,’ groaning as you slowly turned around on your back. “Thank you, Rafe.”
Rafe replied nothing, instead just lowering his face to yours in order to press a kiss on your lips. You smiled into the kiss, making Rafe go crazy. He wanted nothing more than to go further but hesitated as he thought of your tired body.
Unexpectedly, you were the one who deepened the kiss, your hands subtly moving up to his hair.
“Baby…” Rafe gasped, pulling away slightly. “Are you not tired?”
“Not really.” You said honestly as you looked into his eyes. “Feels good, Rafe. Please.”
Your words were confirmation for Rafe, making him press his lips back to yours. You let out a gasp when your boyfriend’s lips went from your mouth to your neck, kissing and sucking your skin softly.
“Hey, no marks.” You reminded him, remembering the time that your parents almost fainted when they saw Rafe’s love marks on your neck and chest.
“Yes, ma’am.” He cheekily smiled.
Rafe’s attention was suddenly on your breasts. He already had easy access to them after you removed your top. You moaned in surprise when his lips wrapped around your left nipple, your back arching as you tried to catch your breath.
“Rafe.” You heaved when his mouth attached to your other nipple, his fingers now working simultaneously as he toyed with the other one. When he was satisfied with the attention that he gave to your breasts, he straightened up his posture, and you took the opportunity to start removing his shirt.
You quickly get rid of his shirt, throwing it sideways as you focus on his shorts.
“Someone’s excited.” He chuckled.
“It’s been a while.” You pouted.
“I know, sweetheart. We have a lot of time.” Rafe replied softly. He pecked your lips once before crouching down. “Lift your hips slightly, baby. Let me take this off of you.”
You obeyed, pushing yourself up from the bed to allow Rafe to pull down your shorts and underwear. You took a deep breath at the realization that you were fully exposed but paid no attention when you caught Rafe eyeing your pussy while licking his lips.
“Well, what do we have here?” He smirked, his right-hand landing gently on your thigh.
“Rafe…” You whined lowly, feeling frustrated as his fingers teased you by drawing random circles along your skin.
“What do you want, Y/n?” He asked innocently.
You groaned. “Stop teasing me.”
He smirked. Rafe loves nothing more than seeing you surrender to his touches. And right now, he’s enjoying the growing smell and wetness of your arousal.
Removing his hand from your thigh, he pressed a finger against your clit. You jolted forward; the pressure alone is enough to stimulate pleasure to your core. “Fuck.”
Rafe’s finger gently circled your clit, both his cock and smile becoming more prominent at the sight of you. He surprised you by pressing two fingers in, his thumb taking over your clit. He began pumping, enjoying your moans mixed with the sound of your wet folds.
“Fucking hell, Rafe. More.” You demanded through deep breaths, your chest rising and falling.
He didn’t respond, pulling out his fingers after a few moments. Your brows pinched together in confusion, looking at him as he brought his fingers to his mouth.
“You taste amazing, darling.” He smirked and watched as you stared at his lips. After licking his two fingers clean, he lifted his hands and brought his thumb to your face. “Open.”
Without hesitation, you opened your mouth and took his thumb in. You sucked, tasting yourself and letting out a moan while maintaining eye contact.
“Fuck.” Rafe spoke, feeling his cock straining. “I was planning to go soft on you. But you seem more eager than I do.”
After you’re done licking his finger, he pulls down his trousers and underwear. Despite seeing him naked multiple times, you still can’t help but be amazed at his size, your thoughts growing wild with desire.
You watched as Rafe kneeled before you, his eyes on the same level as your folds. He pulled you nearer to him, your lower half almost hanging off the edge of the table as he wrapped your legs around his shoulder.
“You gotta keep quiet, baby. We don’t want to get caught by your parents, do we?”
Without any warning, Rafe pressed his face to your pussy, his tongue expertly slipping inside and sucking on your clit.
“Fuck!” You moaned aloud, instantly forgetting his words as you pressed your weight against the bookshelf behind you.
He slapped your thigh softly. “What did I just say?”
You ignored him, too focused on the pleasure that you’re feeling to control the sounds from your mouth. You squirmed against his lips, grinding your hips upwards to get more. Your boyfriend smiled proudly.
“Yes, yes, Rafe…. Shit.”
He pulled one of his hands away from you, lowering it to pump his manhood. His occasional moans caused vibrations throughout your body, your toes curling and your eyes shutting.
Rafe felt your legs shake, and he started to pull away. He needed you to cum, but not yet.
“W-what?” You asked desperately, almost whining at the loss of contact.
He gently shushed you, pushing himself up and lining his cock directly at your slits. “Don’t worry, baby. I’ll finish you right here.”
He pushed himself into you inch by inch, your warm folds wrapping around him perfectly. Rafe groaned at the damp and tight feeling surrounding him, head falling back in pleasure as he settled perfectly within you.
You moaned once more, loudly this time as he started thrusting, his rhythm steady yet forceful. You repeatedly called his name, hands gripping the sheets around you as you shook in pleasure. Rafe looked down to watch himself disappear inside you, eyes filled with lust and pride every time his hips meet yours. He grabbed your thighs and pushed your legs forward, almost keeping them against your chest.
“That’s right, darling. Moan my name.” Sweat started to form on his forehead, his thrusts becoming harsher and quicker in desperate need. “C’mon, Y/n. Let me see you cum.”
“Rafe…” You cried, your cunt clenching and throbbing. The bed was creaking slowly, and you could only hope that your parents were currently deep in slumber.
The pleasure was overwhelming as Rafe focused on every part of you as much as possible. Both of you panting and covered in sweat, his hands working wonders on your clit and nipple while he perfectly filled your cunt.
“R-Rafe, I’m…”
“I know, baby. Cum with me. Come on, pretty girl.” He whispered closely in your ear, maintaining the speed of his thrusts as he rubbed your clit faster.
Your heart rate was increasing, and your body was shaking. But it was Rafe’s direct eye contact and sudden pinch on your clit that pushed you over the edge, eyes rolling at the back of your head as you released.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
Rafe moaned at the sight, loving the feeling of your tight walls and warm release around his cock.
It wasn’t long until he pumped several more times before he gave in, releasing his juices inside of you with heavy breaths.
Neither of you moved for a while, still breathless and shaking.
Rafe pulled out of you slowly, making you whine. He cooed at you, pressing kisses on both of your cheeks. “Are you feeling better, baby?”
Unable to form words because you were still catching your breath, you just grinned and nodded, your hand rising to cup and stroke his cheek.
“Let’s get you ready for bed now, sweetheart.”
The rest of the night, you didn’t break any sweat. Rafe took charge of changing your clothes and sheets, even giving you a quick bath to refresh you.
On times like these, you thank the heavens for giving you a boyfriend like Rafe Cameron.
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awfcspencer · 3 months
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Hello! I was wondering if you could write a Leah Williamson fic where Leah and famous!reader have been dating for a long time and nobody knows. Basically, reader is seen attending a game and nobody knows why until a fan secretely takes a pic of them at a fancy dinner date (Leah in her SPOTY suit) thus breaking the internet. But Leah and reader only know about it after a night of fun (maybe smut) and make their couple debut.
Apologies for the long essay😅; love your works❤️
Secret’s Out || leah williamson x reader
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leah williamson x famous!reader
prompt: requested
warnings: suggestive, a few swear words, mostly fluff
a/n: thank you for the request, hope this is what you were looking for, enjoy! Also thank you that is so sweet!
There was constant attention on your very private life. Tabloids and journalists were desperate to write a dramatic column about anything they assumed was ‘juicy’ or ‘interesting’. Simply just vying for views and money. It made you sick to your stomach. Being in the ‘bright light’, as some people call it, was certainly a privilege, it had blessed you with amazing opportunities and provided you with an income, but it can get tricky very quickly.
Especially when you were dating one of the most famous professional women’s footballers. A woman who captained England in the Woman’s Euros when they won on home soil and leads Arsenal’s defense. The face of women’s football one might say. But to you, she was just Leah. Leah who loved rom-coms films and always cried at the end, Leah who had the palette of a toddler even when you tried to convince her to eat something other than chicken nuggets and smilies. Leah who you were insanely in love with.
Both being very famous individuals in your own industries, it was important for the both of you to keep things just the two of you. As Taylor Swift once said, ‘Romance is not dead if you keep just yours.’ Your close friends and family knew as well as Leah’s teammates but the public was blissfully unaware. You and Leah were approaching two years and it was still a major secret, thankfully.
Things were obviously different in your relationship. You weren’t able to take Leah on the red carpet with you, boast all about your rockstar defender girlfriend on the pitch, or really even hypothetically stand too close before social media would run wild with different rumors. It was not only drama outlets, but also fans. It was easier to be single these days on social media because the fans can become very hurtful and rude when they realize their favorites are ‘off the market’. You didn’t want anyone sending Leah hate and she certainly didn’t want you on the receiving end. It was annoying at times, but you and Leah liked the privacy. You both would choose a night in, cuddled on the couch, watching a film over a loud smelly club or bar any day.
One thing that really hurt your heart with the situation you were in was not being able to outwardly root for Leah at her Arsenal or England games, in person. Sure you would always watch on any device you could when she was playing, but it wasn’t the same as being in person. A combination of busy, conflicting schedules and wanting to avoid any unnecessary extra drama that would certainly take away from the importance of the match always kept you away from the stadium.
You really wanted to attend one of Leah’s matches soon since she has made her return back from her ACL injury. You had seen the daily struggles of her 9 month journey and you knew how important it was for her to be back on the pitch, playing the sport she loves. So you decided to bring it up to her one day after dinner, wanting to hear her thoughts on the subject.
“Hey Lee what are the odds I come to the Emirates when you guys play Man United? My schedule is clear for the day.” you bite the bullet and ask her. In your relationship, communication had become incredibly important, especially when you would be away from each other for long portions of time, having to rely on Facetime and text messages. So it was always easy talking to Leah.
“I mean I would love to have you there baby, but what about the fans?” She moved from her spot on the kitchen island to standing behind you as you washed the dishes. Placing soft kisses on your neck as her hands found your hips.
It was a good point that you knew she was going to bring up. You had been so adamant on seeing Leah play that you almost kind of forgot about everything else. There would certainly be rumors thrown around like crazy, but rumors were really just rumors. There were new rumors about you or Leah almost every day, what was one more?
“I know, I know.” Thinking through everything she was saying. A small section of your mind thinking let the fans speculate, you want to support Leah, that was what is most important. “I want to be there.” Turning to face her with the most serious look you could muster up so she could tell you it was really important to you.
“Okay, you can sit with my family in the box. I can call my mom and let her know you will be there.” Leah knew the risk of you going, but inside she was beaming. You would be there to support her at a sold-out Emirates. You would be there, in person.
“Perfect. I need to find my McCabe kit to wear too!” you joke out knowing how to rile her up. Leah casually smacks your ass as you return to washing the dishes.
“Don’t even joke like that.” Her stern face not lasting long as she breaks into a smile and a laugh.
—————
In your perfectly disguised outfit, you make your way with Amanda toward your assigned seating area. The Emirates was loud and energetic, it was supposed to be a solid match. Two pretty matched teams with incredibly loyal fanbases.
“I’m so glad you could make it!” Amanda says to you as you walk. You had met Amanda pretty early in your and Leah’s relationship and she was just as lovely as Leah. Amanda had quickly become a mother figure for you.
“Me too. I’m excited to watch Leah play live instead of on a tiny phone.” Your heart was pounding, eager to watch Leah play, even more eager to watch Leah win.
Only a few fans had noticed you were in attendance as they looked into the box, but with your large black puffer, hat, and Arsenal scarf on, they weren’t able to see the ‘Williamson 6’ kit you were wearing with pride.
The Arsenal started strong on offense, a quick goal by Viv put them up 1-0 and halftime ended with Beth finding the back of the net for a second. Leah had her stern demeanor on when she played, but when she looked into the box and saw you standing with her mother as you watched, she sent you a small wave and a soft smile.
At the halftime whistle, you were desperately hungry. Stepping out of the box as you searched for something to eat. You were met with a few more fans whom you sent smiles and took photos with. Whenever someone had asked why you were in attendance, you just told them you had grown up a major Arsenal fan. It wasn’t a complete lie but it was the easiest to tell. One fan had asked your favorite player and you jokingly told them that it is Alessia Russo. I mean who doesn’t love England’s star girl.
In the second half, Manchester United’s Geyse dribbled down the midfield and shot on goal and the ball quickly went passed Manu. Nearing the 80th minute, Ella Toone managed to find the left corner of the goal and it was now tied 2-2. The energy in the Emirates picked up dramatically.
To say you were amped up would be an understatement, jumping up and down for every forward ball sent down the pitch, hoping for the 3 points with another goal. You were cheering loud and proud for Arsenal, mostly for your defender girlfriend though.
You didn’t spend much time on social media, it was best for your mental health to steer clear of it most of the time. So when pictures of you at the Arsenal game started to go viral, you had no idea. Many people speculating why you were there and any other nonsense shipping of you and the players. Thankfully because of London’s bipolar temperatures, you still had your coat on, hiding the real reason you were here.
In extra time, Caitlin sent a dangerous ball to Viv and she scored. The Arsenal win 3-2. The crowd went wild with enthusiasm, as did you. You hugged Amanda and the rest of her family in the box as you bid them farewell’s and left.
Leah and you had already planned a small date after the match at a fancy restaurant just outside the city to escape prying eyes. So instead of greeting her at the end of the match like all the other girlfriends and family did, you quickly retreated to Leah’s car. Waiting for her to finish up her walk around the stadium, get changed, and then meet you in her car. You had just simply changed into a long black dress in the car. Leah had tinted windows anyway so it didn’t really matter.
What you didn’t expect was for Leah to get into the car with a suit on. Your mouth was open and dry, so incredibly dry. She looked breathtaking. The black of her suit made her blonde hair stick out and the black tie was doing wonders in your head.
“Lee you look amazing. Definitely don’t look like you just got done playing 90 minutes of football.” You joked with her.
“It’s one of my many, many talents.” she sarcastically said as she shrugged and sent you a wink. “You look good too baby. Stunning as always.” giving you a quick peck.
Leah in her suit and her right hand dangerously high on your thigh wanted to make you scream out to cancel the date and take you straight home. Use that tie to tie you to the bed. But patience was key, good girls were patient, and good girls got rewarded.
The drive wasn’t long and eventually, you were pulling into the parking lot. It was a nice modern place, big glass windows surrounded the building and inside it was even more lovely. Leah had reserved you a table in the back to try to avoid extra attention to the both of you.
The food was mouthwatering and you were so captivated by Leah in her suit. Your eyes were dead-set on her as she spoke so neither you nor Leah noticed when a couple fans outside the restaurant had taken a few quick shots of the two of you holding hands at the small table through the glass windows.
The dinner could not have lasted longer, Leah was certainly taking her time finishing her meal. Leah was guiding her long legs up yours and her hand placements were anything but subtle. You couldn’t take it any longer.
“Lee please take me home and fuck me” was all you needed to say as Leah grabbed your hand and led you to her car.
—————
You had woken up in the morning before Leah. You traced your fingertips over the red lines all over her back from last night’s actions, carefully moving her blonde locks out of the way. It was peaceful, the sun was just rising outside of your open blinds and Leah was sound asleep.
A loud phone call noise ruined the silence. First, it was your phone ringing, and then it was Leah’s. You untangle from Leah slightly and grab your phone from the bedside table to stop the annoying noise.
Quietly saying “Hello?” as you didn’t want to wake Leah just yet.
It was your agent.
“Have you been on social media today?” she almost screams at you, anger definitely in her voice.
“What no? Why?” inching yourself more upright in the bed and leaning over to grab Leah’s phone as it has continued to ring.
“Did you and Leah go on a date last night?” she continues to swarm you with questions and not explaining why she was calling. She obviously knew you and Leah were dating, but why did it matter if you went on a secret date?
“Yes? Why?” utterly confused.
“A fan posted a photo of you and Leah last night and it’s gone viral.”
The first thought through your mind was fuck. The second was that you immediately needed to wake Leah. You look on Twitter and there are several photos of you and Leah last night. One of you two holding hands at the table. One of the two of you getting into Leah’s car afterwards. There were several pictures almost documenting the whole date.
Everyone making the quick connection of the real reason you were at the Arsenal game yesterday as social media ran wild with dating rumors. I mean by the evidence, they weren’t really rumors at this point, they were facts.
Gently pushing her shoulder as you said, “Lee you need to wake up.”
Of course, she turns right over without even opening her eyes, shifting away from your hand.
“Leah Williamson wake up!” you shout at her.
You weren’t angry at Leah, but the panic that you felt in your chest at the thought of your little secret getting out startled you. Were you really ready to let the public know?
Leah could hear the stress in your voice as she was now awake, rubbing her eyes and looking at you.
“What’s wrong?” She asked, sleep definitely still in her voice.
“Someone posted photos from our date last night.” you tell her as you hand her your phone with the pictures on it.
You had completely forgotten about your agent on the phone, as she rambled off ideas on PR tactics that could hopefully lessen the damage. Leah scrolls through the photos and the countless responses.
“What do we do?” you ask Leah as your finger pinch your nose.
“What do you want to do?”
You fully expected her to begin siding with your agent, a quick way to end this little mess. But as she looked at you, she wanted to do what you wanted. And what you wanted was to love Leah in public, tired of loving her in private. You wanted to post funny pictures of Leah, she always made you laugh. You wanted to hold her hand in public, letting everyone know she is yours. You wanted to take her on extravagant dates and show her how much you loved her every single day, in public and in private.
Sure the media was ruthless, but you and Leah would battle the storm together.
“I guess the secret’s out.” you chuckled out. The stress in the situation lessened, you would weather the media together. You told your agent that you were going to let the public know and hung up.
Leah, on her phone now, messaging back to a couple people who had reached out about the photos and asked what she was going to do.
“Are you okay with this?” you asked her to make sure she was feeling the same way you were.
“Yeah I think so. I don’t want us to be a secret anymore. I want the whole world to know your mine” she said as she intertwines your fingers with hers and pulls the comforter up as you both choose your favorite photos to let the world know.
“I guess the secret’s out.” you joked as you pressed publish.
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my-castles-crumbling · 2 months
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couch - @jegulus-microfic - word count: 279
James and his friends were laid out in the Common Room, relaxing after a long night of essay writing and textbook reading. Sirius and Remus were busy debating about the pros and cons of their newest prank idea, Sirius stretched out across Remus's lap with his feet nudging James's thigh.
James, however, was not paying attention. He was too busy thinking about Regulus.
Sirius had been surprisingly alright with James's infatuation, though he'd warned the other boy that his patience and support only went so far. So James tried to keep his thoughts to himself. Sometimes, though, he figured that Sirius at least had an idea about where his brain went when his mouth stopped going a mile a minute. Ah, well.
"....and then they'll all drink the potion," Sirius blabbered on to Remus, who was nodding enthusiastically. "And bam! Pink hair!"
Hair. Regulus had nice hair. Not to short, not too long. So shiny and curly, and James often wanted to run his fingers through it. Once, when Regulus had been in a particularly good mood, he'd allowed James to take a stray strand of hair and return it behind his ear, their eyes locking and heat building between them. James swallowed, remembering the way he'd just barely resisted connecting their lips, pushing the other boy against the cool stone wall, devouring his mouth with his own. Merlin, he loved Regulus's hair.
"....so I think it'd work. What do you think, Prongs?" Sirius continued, looking over to James.
"....Reg would look good with pink hair," James mumbled dreamily, eyes glazed still lost in thought.
With a kick to his thigh, he found himself violently shoved off the couch.
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cassiopeiasdaughter · 9 months
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Hi can I get a 📝 for Theodore Nott with ; “I know you can take it.”
Maybe some smut ;)
Thank youuuu!
warning: smut!! if you know me, no you don't :))
It was a stupid question, really…
“When did the Gargoyle strike happen?”, Pansy had asked during breakfast. She was busy, writing an essay on the Gargoyle Strike but couldn’t remember the exact date; and could not be bothered to search for the answer in the library. Not when her friends were human sized encyclopedias.
“1910.”, “1911.” You and Theo said at the same time.
“I think you are wrong love, I can clearly remember 1910.”, he said with smirk tilting his head to the side.
“No no, it was in 1911, I am sure.”, you insisted
“And what happens if you’re wrong?”, he said in a voice reserved only for you.
You smiled at him and opened your mouth to reply when a groan cut you off “Please shut up, it is way too early for this.”, Draco whined resting his forehead on his hand, causing you both to laugh.
You grabbed an orange from the table and gave Theo a quick kiss on the lips before standing up; “I am right. See you later.”, you waved your hand goodbye and exited the Great Hall. 
After classes were over you ran to the library, adamant to prove to your boyfriend that he had been wrong, and the Gargoyle Strike did in fact take place in 1911. You smiled to yourself as you found, the book you needed, and sprinted to Theos dorm room, to celebrate there…
Something worth mentioning is that; Theodore Nott is stubborn, smart and an insufferable know-it-all. But most importantly, he is a sore-loser.
“1911!.”, you shouted as you entered the room, with a smug look on your face, startling him, “Here.” , you said pointing at the book “I was right, you are wrong. Told you.” You finished with a smirk.
“Is that right?”, he asked looking up at you through his lashes 
You could see his eyes darkening, as his gaze grew more intense, with every second that passed. It set off fireworks inside your body, and you smiled in anticipation, “Yes”.
Yeah, he definitely is a sore-loser you think now, as you lay on his bed, with your face pressed on the mattress and your back arched, aching in a way you had been craving all week.
He is knelt behind you, keeping you parted with his fingers, and devouring your core. You can’t remember how many minutes have passed, or how many times you’ve finished. You know that he still hasn’t entered you, stretched you in that delicious way you need. Your pussy throbs against his face and you whine at the emptiness.
Your words are muffled by the pillows and the mattress, but he can hear your whines and groans; your voice and your wetness being the only noises in the room.
Then, you feel him grunt and you flutter around his tongue, causing his laugh to leave an echo inside you. He kisses your thighs as he pushes his fingers inside, releasing a filthy moan from your mouth. You turn your head to look at him, his lips are red and swollen and his hair is messy; from your hands pulling at it all this time, nails almost scraping his skull. His eyes are focused and as they catch yours he smirks and curls his fingers in that spot that sends shivers from your spine down to your toes. 
His face and hands; the way his big and cold ring feels inside you- sends you over the edge, for the third or fourth time tonight and you open your mouth in a silent scream, while rocking your hips in sync with his fingers.
You tremble lightly as he takes his fingers out and removes his pants and underwear; freeing himself, hard and leaking.
He teases you, drags his cock through your folds, overstimulating you “Theo” you moan “its..too ah- much.” 
He laughs and leans forward kissing up your spine, moving to your neck and whispering in your ear “I know you can take it.” making you groan and clench around nothing.
He enters you then, painfully slowly at first and you moan; at the fullness, at the orgasm that just passed and the new one that threatens to come.
He moves, once he is fully inside and you chant his name like a prayer. 
His deep breath at the back of your neck, the feeling of the emerald-green sheets rubbing against your nipples with each thrust and his hand snaking up and closing around your neck feel primal.
Everything feels too much and not enough at the same time. But, when you listen to the sound your bodies make as they are joined and the smell that is spreading in the room, all your senses heighten and you reach your climax, once more. He is quick to follow and as soon as he does, he turns your head to kiss your lips, without pulling out.
You smile into the kiss and he deepens it as you reach back to lightly touch his face and hair. Your body is limp at his hands and you lean on his chest after you let him raise you two up, sitting on your knees.
He kisses your shoulder and drags your hair to the side, exposing your neck to him. You can see his fingers trace your body, drawing patterns on your chest and belly. He reaches down then and you feel him growing hard again as he rubs at your clit, lightly-playfully at first. 
You throw your head back and moan his name as you shiver. He kisses your ear and whispers “One more, be good and give me one more.”
Theo might not like losing, but you love it.
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A/N: me and who?
Theodore Nott masterlist & celebrate my academic hardships
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oatsmeall · 3 months
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You and I?
Socially awkward!Jk! X f!reader | college AU
Warnings: Socially awkward jk, very awkward jk, suggestive themes, possible smut.
(人*´∀`)。*゚+(人*´∀`)。*゚+(人*´∀`)。*゚+(人*´∀`)
For as long as you've been coming to this course you've always seen this quiet guy, he always come in 5 minutes exactly before class starts, he brings the same black metal water bottle with one singular sticker, and he's always quiet but always raises his hand to answer questions. You didn't really pay much attention to him untill today specifically though, of course you noticed his usual quirks but today? Man, it's like he became a new man. You never thought the awkward nerdy guy would pull up to class late with new piercings. On his eyebrow and his lip. You were stunned to say the least, he's... Hot? This totally normal thing called being 'tardy' suddenly seamed like a sense of rebellion, especially for this guy, Jeon Jungkook. Wow, such a bad boy.
Throughout the week he'd show up less covered, usually he'd wear sweater vests with a neatly tucked shirt and black or brown slacks or occasionally jeans. Now he's been wearing oversized shirts and baggy sweats and jeans. And not to mention his entirely detailed sleeve on his arm, which has very much been in the works for quite the while you bet. Where was the cute nerdy boy you knew? This was a whole new man. Even the girls that never bat an eye started noticing. You weren't going to lie and say you weren't a little jealous. I mean come on? These girls were ignoring him just 2 weeks ago, now they're fawning over him and his new look.....
"STUDENT SETTLE DOWN PLEASE. today we'll be writing an essay about what we've learned this month. Please be sure to turn the essay in by Friday night." The professor was making y'all write an essay. This is so boring, you were just thinking about that comfortable bed of yours.
While digging in your backpack for your laptop and some paper, you couldn't find any sort of writing utensils. This was so annoying, how is it that Suddenly when you ACTUALLY need a pen or pencil you couldn't find one. Jesus Christ, what a unlucky way to start on homework.
"pssst, hey.. hey, ppsssst" you were trying to whisper call on Jungkook, he was not budging. "Jeon, hey" you were not getting anywhere. Suddenly he side eye looked at you. Okay?...
"what do you want, were supposed to get busy." He said monotoned, he really is still nerdy sounding.
"well I won't get anywhere near busy if you'd just hear me out for a bit. Do you have a pen or pencil I can borrow, please?" You're regretting asking. He's probably gonna decline and say 'you should've brought your own".
"hmm.. I do, but you have to give it back, I always keep 4 pencils exactly." Close to the response you thought.. kinda.
"ugh okay, thanks" ou! Fancy mechanical pencil! And it had a cool retractable eraser!
This essay was gonna kill you. come to think of it what did you even learn this month?....
You and Jungkook had became friends, this past month you slowly would talk to him or try to talk big conversations, you really found him interesting. He was like a new subject you were trying to learn about. You've learned he's quite....odd? He didn't get your jokes sometimes, he was unaware of social cues at times, and he was too straight up. You thought he didn't like you, he was so blunt. on a random day when you guys went to the library he commented on how messy your notes were, how your hair was messy and looked unprofessional for school, and even on how wearing Birkenstocks with socks was strange. He was nitpicking random things, things you wouldn't even pay attention to. This gave you a feeling of self awareness, you felt like he didn't like you, he was making you realize a lot of things you hadn't.
"Jungkook, I really like you but you've got to stop nitpicking things I don't even notice, I'm sure you can keep it to yourself? You don't hear me saying how the way you styled your hair today looks off from yesterday, or how you're wearing two different shades of black and I don't like that."
"why wouldn't you like it? I like it." He said confused and somewhat agitated.
You gave him a knowing look of "do you see now?"
He sat silently before asking
"do you really not like my two different shades of black?" There was a pause before you started giggling. He looked so confused, you couldn't help but giggle.
"alright. Wanna come by my dorm tonight? Study a little and maybe order takeout and watch a movie? Shrek perhaps?" You tried changing the conversation hoping he'd forget the little conflict.
This would be the first time you invite him to your dorm, you were too shy to ask, he was also shy though, more than you probably. You didn't want to make him uncomfortable.
"uhm..sure.. just send me you dorm number." He seemed shy just asking that, you were excited though. He was such a cute and smart guy, he was very helpful when studying. He taught you new things too, the other day he taught you about why pigeons don't know how to build nests.
Around 6:30 he texted you saying he's on his way to your dorm. You were SO nervous for no reason, you tried to tidy up around your room, and by tidy you mean deep cleaned. You've never seen such a clean room, you loved it though.
*Knock, knock, knock*
"Comiingggg" you walked to your door and opened it to Jungkook. In a black tee shirt and grey sweat pants.. you felt your hear beat faster. He looked so.. FINE.
"Hello Y/n, I didn't know what kind of drink you liked so I bought Gatorade, orange juice, and water. I hope you like.. these." He looked so genuine, you appreciate him for trying.
"oh wow! I like all. I wouldn't have minded your pick. Thanks though, come in. Make yourself comfortable." He came in and sat himself on your bed, he was looking around curiously. He was looking attentively, like he was gather information.
"sorry if you might not like the scent in my room, Im trying this mango air freshener out-"
"I like it. It's okay. So where are your notes and stuff, we can get started right now if you'd like, that way we can have more time to hangout..if you want."
This genuinely surprised you? He wanted to spend time with you? Your heart had a sudden rush.
"oh? O-okay, yeah. Uhm let me get my laptop." You hurriedly grabbed your bag, you bent down you're oblivious but your ass caught Jungkook's attention by accident. He stared.. he felt his blood rush down his pants.
"okay I've got my laptop!" You walked to your bed and plopped next to him.
His face was red. Visibly red actually.
"you okay?"
"y-yeah.." he looked away from you in embarrassment. Immediately onto his notes.
After a long hour and a half, you guys were done, you decided to order for delivery instead, Jungkook didn't want to go out anymore, you were tidying around your room, who new studying was messy.
"can't wait for that pasta, I'm hungry. Also hot, this hoodie is too warm" Jungkook look slightly, seeing you take your hoodie off made HIM hot.. his body tensed up. Your black halter top made your boobs look so good, he caught a glimpse of them before you turned to him.
"freeeee!" you said in a giggle.
He was respectful, of course.. but he still IS a man.... with male... tendencies.
"can I use your restroom, please? I need to wash my hands"
"why the restroom? I've got a small sink by the dresser." You pointed to the hidden sink.
"I have to use the restroom too." He said straight faced. He was trying to get away from you as fast as possible or else his print would be visible VERY quickly, maybe he shouldn't have worn grey sweats. Maybe two different shades of black wasn't bad after all like you said.
"okay, yea. It's that door right there." You're not sure why but you have a feeling you made Jungkook uncomfortable, what could you have possibly done.
*knock, knock, knock*
"ouuu pasta must be here. JUNGKOOK! PASTAS' HERE!" you got out of your bed and quickly answered the door. You're excited.
After some very awkward moments of eating and small talk you put on Shrek the movie, you guys were on your bed now. But you felt a sudden rush, you've been avoiding thinking about him but he's so fine. He's hot in this little ensemble he put together, the grey sweats made his print noticable. Your mouth felt dry all of the sudden. You felt and decided to lay down and drape your legs on his thighs. You felt his body tense up. This made you feel butterflies. It's almost like you had an ad advantage.
"uhm.. Y/n.. I- " you cut him off and looked up at him directly into his eyes. Oh those siren eyes of yours.. they're killing him. His eyes began to widen when he realized that you're now turned around facing his lap. More so his crotch.
"Kook.." you start innocently. "Have you ever been... Touched?" You said softly and quietly. You scared him. He can't comprehend how you'd gone from fun from "fun and nice, sweet and understandable" to "horny seduction demon" he's also never had physical Intimacy, only cute kisses and hugs. This was odd, he liked how he felt though. You gave him butterflies.
"N-no" you looked at him straight in his eyes again. This time you say up slightly and palmed his dick through his sweats. He let out an lewd quiet moan. Your pussy was pulsating from excitement.
"mm poor boy. Do you like when I touch you like this?" You say quietly. You began stroking the outline of his dick, then you pulled his sweats down following after, his boxers. His hard Dick sprung up. You were in awe at the largeness before your eyes. You didn't know what you expected.. but surely not this monster. The sayings are true. It's always the quiet and shy ones.
"auh.. fuck" he whispered lewdly. What a turn on.
"mhm? You like that kookie?"
Precum began to slowly ooze from out the tip. Red and sore from the friction being created from your hands. You started pacing faster, stokes becoming gradually faster.
"augh, f-fuck. I don't wanna c-"
You sunk you whole mouth on his cock. Filling your mouth with only half of his cock. You started deep thoating, harder and faster, the lewd noises becoming louder and messier. Chocking on his dick you took him like a champ.
"I'm not done with you babe." You say with saliva and cum dripping from your mouth. You're Cock drunk.
"Y-you're not?!" He seemed genuinely shocked.
You got up and sat on his lap, legs sitting on either side of his thighs. Your booty shorts rode more up your thighs.
You began to ride him. Fully clothed, you began riding, Jungkook instinctively grabbed your ass and pressed you down to create harder friction.
"mm- F-fuck. Oh my, Jungkook augh- you moaned loudly, your pussy was so wet and it was throbbing. Suddenly. Jungkook's switched. He became the lewd one. You never expected to hear something like this come out of his mouth..
"Yeah? You like that you fucking slut? You like seducing quite guys?" He said through his teeth in a hiss. Gripping your ass. Your so turned on at his sudden switch.
"mhm baby" you mewed.
"take the shorts off. Now" yes sir. Anything for Me. Jeon.
You got up off him and you did a little strip tease. It was better that what Jungkook visioned.
You slowly hopped back on him and you grabbed his cock and slowly sat on him. Man was he stretching you out. Nice and good.
"augh fuck Kook. You're so big" you said in a gasp. He just looked at you with a smirk. Man you loved every minute of this.
"that's right baby take me like a fucking champ" you sat on him completely but suddenly.. when you began riding, his speed increased, he began slamming into you.
"fuck, fuck, fuck, augh babe, you're hitting the spot" your moans were something straight out of a porn video.
"yeah? You like that? Look at me when I fuck you Y/n look at me." He said grabbing your face. Who is this man?! This isn't shy little Jungkook with the cute boba eyes?! This was Jeon Jungkook. The fucking man.
After what felt forever, you and Jungkook did some after care. He went and fetched you an after pill at the nearest pharmacy. Yes at 1 am.
You were beat. Inside and out. Literally. You felt numb, could hardly walk. Your pussy was sore. You can't count how many times he made you cum and squirt but he really overstimulated you. You're so ready for a part 2 of this.
The next day you went to class and sat with Jungkook. Suddenly he became shy again?! Two faced much?
Guys... Let me know if you want a part 2 lol, this is my first time writing a fanfic lol🥹
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