#and then used her opinion of his 'true intentions' as reason to disagree with any other kind of analysis of his work

[lovelyjasmari]

Pomefiore Endnote - Perfectionism, Apathy and the True Tragedy of Book 5

Warning: Long post and pic heavy.

So…this is something of a continuation of my last twst reaction post, where I analyzed the Absolutely Beautiful dance video. I ended the post by saying that the true tragedy was not that NRC Tribe lost but that Vil could be convinced he was an inferior performer compared to Neige. Now I’m going to expand on that…in excruciating detail. XD

In all seriousness, though, I'm not really sure if I'd call this an analysis in the traditional sense. Maybe more like a long-winded rant based on canon observations. But all the same, I’ve been grappling with this for the last year and a half since when Book 6 first dropped in EN. I’ve wanted to share my thoughts for a long time but decided against it because I acknowledge how contentious this topic is in the fandom and I prefer to keep my online space as drama-free as possible. I also didn’t want anyone to get the idea I’m attacking others when at most, I’m just being critical. 

But with the new story update imminent and it looking like it will be Pomefiore-centric, I’ve come to the realization that if I don’t share this soon, I never will. My timing is admittedly ass but I think it would be worse if I share this AFTER the update and you’re about to understand why.

So before we dive in, disclaimer. This is going to cover the end of Book 5 and the first few chapters of Book 6 and my in-depth opinions on both. There will be mentions of trauma/mental illness and some very blunt (but honest) Rook criticism. But please keep in mind, that while I have my own interpretation of the twst characters and their respective arcs, I am not Yana and ultimately, my opinions are just that. Opinions. Everything I say is subjective at best but a lot of what’s coming up is based on a blend of canon observations as well as my own specific, personal experiences as someone with very similar life experiences as Vil and has been dancing for most of her life.  

Still, these are just opinions and I have no intention to offend anyone. But if you don’t like reading negative things about Rook or take issue with this general way of thinking, I HIGHLY advise you to ignore this and respectfully (or quietly) agree that we disagree.

When I wrote the greater bulk of this, it was around when Book 6 dropped in EN. A year has passed since then and I’ve had time to think more about my opinions here and, to a greater extent, how I feel about Book 5. This may sound strange but I feel that Book 5 is both the best and worst part of twst’s main story to date. I really like how it touched upon something that isn’t really isn’t talked about much; how we as a society both admire beauty but also vilify it. Vil’s primary dilemma is how he is wrongfully villainized for his beauty, wealth, and harsh personality, despite subverting expectations of cruelty at every turn. Ironically, when the fandom mischaracterizes him as vain, cruel, classist, racist and the like, they are falling into that same literary trap. Proving the point of his arc.

And as much as I hated the ending from an emotional point of view, I actually love it as well, ironically for reasons that might not have been intentional. What I hated, mostly, was the fandom’s response. There was a great opportunity here for some deep discussion regarding society’s views on beauty, how constant trauma causes us to internalize false perceptions of ourselves, and the rather fascinating/dangerous dynamic Vil has with his vice dorm leader. Instead, any interesting discourse has been lost in all the misinterpretations of Vil. To the point I wonder if we all actually read the same story. I’m disappointed in the fandom, but somehow not surprised either.

But regardless, Rook’s actions were extremely disquieting but not for the reasons you might think. There was nothing wrong with his decision but the way he went about it and how he (and Vil) tried to justify it really left such a nasty taste in my mouth and I gotta talk about it to get it out.

First I just want to commend Vil for his level of maturity and rationality regarding his overblot. Even when it was happening, not once has he tried to justify his actions and in fact it was his own guilt at his potential wrongdoing that ultimately caused it. His fear that in a brief, desperate attempt to be seen as not a monster, he became exactly that. Throughout Book 5, it is implied that Vil already sees himself as a villainous person and internalizes that image of himself almost with pride. But despite this false perception, his actions have always proven the opposite and it’s clear that Vil has always valued being altruistic, determined and just. And his guilt when he failed to meet his own standards was beyond compare.

I feel that this guilt sets Vil apart from the other overblots thus far. Most importantly, he apologized of his own volition and wasn’t forced to. That alone makes him stand out among the overblot characters and, to my mind, makes him the most compelling of them all. If I’m being completely honest, out of all those who have overblotted thus far, Vil has been the LEAST problematic even before his overblot. And the one instance where Vil displayed any “cruelty” beforehand is EXTREMELY subjective. (his treatment of Epel) But the fact that Vil has been the least problematic overblot student so far also makes him the most tragic. And makes what’s about to happen next all the more disturbing.

Interestingly enough, Jamil is correct about this but for the wrong reason and here comes the first point. There was no indication that the audience was anything but enthralled with NRC Tribe. And if Vil or any of the others made significant mistakes, because of Vil’s fame, I’m certain they would have been pointed out by magicam netizens. With the recent release of the Absolutely Beautiful mv over on twst jp, we now also have a visual to go off from. 

I talk about this more in a previous post but basically, yes, NRC Tribe’s performance wasn’t perfect, but based on what I saw, I would have expected A LOT worse considering the circumstances. The fact is all evidence points to the NRC boys giving a wonderful performance made all the more remarkable by the fact they were still able to perform after dealing with Vil’s OB not too long before. And the audience clearly thought so too if they were only one vote away from victory. 

To add to this point, when the other characters comment on the NRC Tribe’s performance, they make no mention of any noticeable errors. And when Crowley laments their defeat later, again, there’s no mention of any errors. Considering that Ambrose was pretty pretentious about RSA winning, I'm sure he’d mention that, too. 

Even further, one thing you learn from being on stage is that your audience rarely notices mistakes unless they are extremely obvious. You, as the performer, might notice, but you quickly learn not to draw attention to your errors and keep it moving. Now of course, the NRC characters could be biased because they want to defeat RSA. But considering the nature of a lot of them, I doubt they would lie so flagrantly. Especially Jack who is pretty no-nonsense even with the people he likes. And Malleus who seems pretty difficult to impress. So if their commentaries are to be believed, this shows that any errors made by the NRC Tribe were not noticeable. 

That Vil would think otherwise speaks to something far deeper and far more insidious. Stick a pin in that; we’ll come back to it soon enough.

Vil then goes on to explain to the boys that Neige and his friends worked just as hard and had their own struggles. That Neige grew up in an improvised environment and had to juggle acting obligations with household chores and helping out the dwarves. Again, it is extremely commendable that Vil is able to acknowledge this about this rival. It shows that his contempt for Neige was never as simple as “boo hoo people think he’s more beautiful than me” and he at least respects Neige’s efforts even if this explanation once again falls flat. 

Firstly, narratively speaking it doesn’t make sense that Vil is just finding out about Neige’s backstory now (likely from Rook) because I feel like he should already be aware. In fact, all through Book 5, I thought that he did know but didn’t care. Honestly, Neige’s backstory shouldn’t matter to Vil anyway and surprisingly, it’s Ace of all people who explains why.

Neige’s struggles might matter to his fans but at the end of the day if Neige cannot perform better than Vil, then that’s his own fault. There are many artists out there who have to deal with similar struggles but come out as phenomenal performers and yet Neige’s “best” basically consists of the twst equivalent of this meme. Precious, but cannot compare to all the sweat and tears Vil and his team were put through. 

There’s actually an interesting analysis floating around this hellsite about how Neige’s childish performance was actually an incredibly manipulative tactic and could have been intentional if he were a different character. I’m not gonna link it cause I don’t want to bring any heat to the op. But I will say that while I don’t think Neige intended to manipulate the audience with his cuteness, in the end, it did indeed work in his favor. And the fact that Vil thought to train Epel to weaponize his cuteness to defeat Neige indicates that he’s already no stranger to seeing such underhanded tactics in the industry he works in. In his beansday vignette, Vil mentions an actor he initially admired destroying one of his stage outfits. If Neige weren’t presented as so naive and twisted from a traditionally “good” character, his choice regarding his performance could be regarded as deliberate. Which is why Vil lamented that he and his team had been “outplayed”.

Back on topic, what I took away from this was that, once again, Vil’s hard work and determination count for nothing because of things he cannot control. Because he was born to wealth, because he didn’t have the same hardships, he doesn’t deserve the same consideration or sympathy as Neige. And his wealth and beauty once again put him in the position of villain to Neige’s hero. It’s a textbook case very common in media, like Sharpay opposing Gabriella in High School Musical. But what’s worse is that from all that we’ve seen of Vil, he could coast on his wealth, beauty and father's fame if he wanted to. 

Instead, he chooses to work hard and have his accomplishments come from his own merit. When anyone else in his situation could easily choose the opposite. And just from a personal standpoint, if I practiced day and night for a dance competition and ended up losing to someone under my level simply because they were cute and disenfranchised, I would feel extremely insulted. At the end of the day, Ace is correct and whatever struggles Neige and his team had, they were still inferior performers. 

And to add to this point, I believe that at some point Vil KNEW this even AFTER his OB. Despite his earlier anguish at never being able to perform innocent cuteness like his rival, once his mind was clearer, he was able to see that NRC Tribe’s performance was still technically better. He was able to see how the audience responded to Neige and still believed in himself as a better performer. I say this based on another scene earlier in book 5. 

Vil was undoubtedly in a very emotionally vulnerable place right after his overblot. He went to great lengths to conceal the aftereffects before going on stage to the point he collapsed as soon as he was alone. After going so long trying to hide them, his darkest, ugliest emotions were laid bare to his teammates and to himself. Manifesting in the worst way possible. And as a professional performer, if any errors were made, he would have been painfully aware of them.

And yet, despite having just dealt with the darkest moment of his life, Vil was still able to stand upon the stage until the very end and give the best performance he could. Against all odds, before a world that has wrongfully perceived him as evil and hideous for most of his life.

And despite knowing that Neige possesses all that he never can, it is strongly implied that Vil still chooses to vote for his own team. Meaning he saw the appeal in Neige’s performance and STILL knew that he did better. And I’d like to believe that even if Vil was aware of Neige’s backstory, he would have still made the same decision. It’s easy to be beautiful when everything is right and perfect in your world. But being able to smile even when you’re struggling and your heart is breaking is even more beautiful still. 

Sadly, Vil isn’t likely to realize this anytime soon and will continue to see his own mental struggles as not as valid or “ugly.” Now back to that original pin of thought, Vil will likely continue to believe that he didn’t deserve to win the VDC despite all evidence to the contrary. He’s likely to continue internalizing the false villainous image of himself as well. And for that we now must get to the crux of this matter.

At first glance, this statement doesn’t seem like much but when you look deeper, and look back at some of Rook’s own actions, this comes off as incredibly hypocritical and cruel. As we have seen from Vil’s backstory, he has dealt with untold hardships as well. But Vil’s anguish is more internalized than Neige’s and it’s very unlikely that he has ever really been open about how dehumanizing and hurtful his treatment has been. 

And from an outsider’s perspective, his problems aren’t as dire anyway. It’s just like Vil said, his life has been quite different from Neige’s. But mental trauma doesn’t know demographics and can affect anyone. The fact is what Vil has gone through is extremely traumatizing and comes from nothing beyond people wrongfully vilifying him for his beauty. Projecting their insecurities onto him from a very young age. It’s clear that what Vil has dealt with has fundamentally altered how he sees himself. 

But at the same time, what do you think would happen if Vil WAS more open about his frustrations? The dehumanizing effect and the bullying? The typecasting and prejudice thrown his way? And the feeling that nothing he does will ever be enough to break free from his villainous mold? What would happen if Vil were to be open about ANY of that? He would be mocked and shamed and perceived as shallow, petty and crying about nothing. Lowkey how many in the fandom already see Vil anyway. We as a society sadly don’t take mental illness as seriously as we should but when celebrities deal with it? It quickly becomes meme fodder and nowhere is this more obvious than on stan twitter. We are all guilty of feeding into it, whether we’re honest about it or not. 

Ironically, Vil’s mental struggles is one of the things that would make him more “relatable.” But the truth is that people would never accept that because society has a long history of trivializing the mental issues of celebrities because they seem so far removed from normal people. And then being surprised pikachu faced when they do something drastic to themselves. So Vil internalizes all of it because he knows he can’t be open about it. 

A person like him simply can’t be open about his hardships but HERE is the kicker: neither can Neige. He also has an image of perfection to uphold so it is likely he is also internalizing mental struggles of his own. Living and caring for seven others can’t be easy in addition to trying to grow his career. And if his deeper origins are anything like his Disney counterpart, how he came to live with the dwarves must have been traumatic as well. 

But here’s the difference: from Rook’s perspective, he is “better” at internalizing those ugly emotions than Vil is. After all, Neige is able to overcome all his struggles and still smile and not give hints to them, but when Vil finally buckled under all of his own trauma, we see what happened. 

There’s also the fact that since Rook and Neige attend different schools, Rook doesn’t have as close a seat to any of Neige’s more personal troubles. So it’s likely easier for Rook to project his own ideas of beauty onto Neige because from his perspective, he is perfect. He is beautiful. He is pure. Like the legendary singing princess Rook so reveres. He isn’t plagued with any of the ugly emotions that caused Vil to overblot. And if Neige DOES have ugly feelings or ugly trauma responses, Rook isn’t privy to them, so they clearly must not exist. 

I genuinely believe that THIS is what Rook meant when he stated Vil’s performance wasn’t as beautiful as Neige’s. I know he mentions another reason at the end of book 5 but in my mind, they are both one and the same. Whatever technical difficulties NRC Tribe had, they were still polished enough to garner enough votes that it was only Rook’s flawed ideology that sealed their fate. And throughout book 5, Rook is hinted at being aware of Vil’s internal struggles and yet still chose to stay silent. He frequently saw that Vil was struggling but tried to justify his silence by saying it wasn’t his place to interfere. 

But that is also untrue because we’ve seen time and again Rook is more than willing to stick his nose in Vil’s businesses. His labwear vignette is the most obvious example but there are plenty of others. In Book 6 Rook admits that his decision to go to the Isle of Woe was fully a selfish one. Leaving Pomefiore without leadership and potentially falling into chaos (the only dorm to have no clear leadership at all during the crisis) simply because he wanted to give Vil skin products that he really didn’t need. A few days without them wouldn’t do that much harm and Rook essentially placed Epel, Yuu and himself in great danger for a reason far more shallow than anything Vil has done in the name of beauty. 

He also admits that he would have been willing to drink the poisoned juice Vil gave to Neige for again, a pretty shallow (and extremely twisted) reason. If he’s willing to do that, he is more than capable of intervening in other matters on Vil’s behalf. And later in book 6, it’s revealed that Rook was originally a Savannaclaw student but made the very unprecedented decision to transfer to Pomefiore in part due to his fascination with Vil and desire to further study beauty under him. So Rook had EVERY opportunity to step in regarding his overblot. Even if Rook couldn’t be his “savior”, the fact that Vil would see that he at least had support could have gone a long way. 

But Rook’s silence is rather in keeping with his character and his own ideas about beauty. I find this quote very ironic based on how he and Vil are frequently misconstrued. The Pomefiore dorm leaders' views on beauty appear to be the opposite of each other. 

Vil can be extremely strict, harsh and can come off as critical at times, but he is never harder on someone than he is himself. He has shown time and again that he sees beautiful potential in anyone. And Vil is more than willing to share the spotlight with his NRC Tribe; build them up from scratch and give each of them the chance to show off their potential. Likely because he knows all too well what it means to be in the shadow of someone else. 

Even further, when we look at the dichotomy of a villain versus a hero, the main difference is how they respond to their personal pain. A villain takes their pain and says “the world hurt me so I’m gonna hurt the world”. While a hero says “the world hurt me and I’m not going to let it hurt others”. Up until his overblot, Vil has been the latter of these examples. He wants the best for those around them and while his methods might be difficult to understand, they always bear results. Vil can honestly see beauty in anything, even if he has to coax it out in his own way. 

Rook’s views on beauty however, all seem to be based upon the superficial and the evidence can be found in his Halloween vignette. There, he explains further how he grew to adore Neige and based on what he said, it sounded more like obsession than actual reverence. There’s also hints to this in his most recent birthday vignette as well. His ideas seem to be very fantastical, far removed from reality and so obsessive to the point that it actually affects his ability to be a good person. Such an obsession can sometimes make people oblivious to the world and in Rook’s case, often cause him to act out in ways that border on problematic. 

In his fixation, he stalks Leona and Jade, says some weirdly otherist shit to Malleus, harasses and assaults Ruggie, and places ridiculously high standards on both Vil AND Neige that rob them of their humanity. Rook saw firsthand how deeply Vil’s insecurities ran. He heard Vil cry and scream out how ugly he felt. He saw Vil’s anguish and despair firsthand and seeing all that, still chose to punish him because Vil’s lack of confidence made him unable to respond to his trauma in a beautiful way. Or at least in a way he could deem as beautiful based on his vapid description of the word. 

Rook will likely never be privy to any ugliness Neige has displayed so for him, the fantasy remains intact. And in chasing that fantasy, he betrays not just Vil, but his other teammates as well. Then has the audacity to try to justify it with bullshit ideology and sadly, because of Vil’s low opinion of himself, Rook succeeds. Vil holds Rook’s opinion so highly that he is able to take advantage of that and compel him (and the others) to see his point of view. And believe it or not, in chasing that fantasy, the NRC Tribe members were not the only ones Rook hurt. 

Neige might have been happy to have won but he was essentially rewarded for an inferior performance and robbed of an important lesson. One far more valuable than any “lesson” Vil had to learn. As mentioned before, even with all of his hardships, if what we saw in book 5 was the best Neige could do, that still means he is not as good a performer as Vil. If cuteness, nostalgia and warm fuzzy feels are the only thing Neige can offer, he could easily find himself struggling to remain in the entertainment industry as he ages. Not unlike many other former child stars in real life. 

Losing the VDC could have been a major wake-up call to Neige that if he wants to continue acting, he has to do better. People might not take him seriously when he’s still doing the cutesy bullshit ten years from now. But because he won, this will likely never cross his mind. Neige will learn nothing. 

Now before anyone begins writing up their comments about how Vil verbally stated that Rook was right, I’d like to bring up one final point: Vil agreeing with Rook was another trauma response. Internalizing Rook’s response because it is so in keeping with all he has been made to believe about himself, about Neige, and how it has all now been “confirmed” by his overblot. From his point of view, Rook has no reason to lie to him. 

But just because Vil states that Rook was correct, does not mean that it’s true. Despite being one of the more positive characters in the game and being twisted from a “good” character, Rook is just as morally grey as everyone else in the twst cast and just as capable of dubiousness. And this would not be the first time something like this has occurred between Vil and Rook. Once again, I bring up Vil’s labwear vignette. Particularly this exchange here:

Okay, so beyond the general tactlessness of telling Vil he’s gaining weight in spite of knowing how such a statement would affect him, what Rook is basically suggesting to him is that he cannot trust anyone but him. Not even his own senses. That for all of his perceptiveness, Vil is incapable of seeing himself accurately. Though he initially does not believe it, Vil eventually does accept  Rook’s statement despite knowing it was bullshit twenty seconds before. 

Later on, Vil mentions to Trey that Rook’s only crime is being too blunt and perceptive. It’s true that having another point of view is important at times, but the level of trust Vil has in Rook’s opinion can also be dangerous if he can convince Vil to doubt himself so easily. Theirs is an interesting dynamic but it also has potential to be extremely toxic and detrimental to Vil. At best, Rook gives him useful insight and pushes him to be the best he can be. But at worst, Rook contributes to Vil’s insecurities, enables his more toxic tendencies and his fawning of Neige feeds into his obsession to be the fairest one of all in the worst way possible. Rook can’t be completely oblivious to this. It would be such an easy thing for him to take advantage of Vil’s doubt in himself and value/dependency on his opinion. 

Which is exactly what Rook does. As much flack Vil gets in this fandom for being critical and harsh to others, he never criticizes someone harder than he will criticize himself. This is a person who has grown up in the spotlight and has had to maintain an image of perfection for most of his life.  A person who gave up one of his favorite condiments because of the damage it caused to his skin. A person who has so deeply internalized the villainous image people have projected on him that he wears it almost as a badge of honor. And because he holds himself to such a high standard and already internalizes a lot of toxic beliefs about himself, it makes perfect sense that Vil would agree with Rook. In his current way of thinking, Vil has no reason to disagree with Rook because from his point of view, Rook has always been honest to him and his overblot already proved he was unworthy of victory anyway. 

Of course Vil must be gaining weight. How could he possibly be objective regarding himself? How vain he must be. And how could Vil possibly be objective regarding his VDC performance and still vote for himself after such an ugly trauma response? He can’t trust his judgment, he can’t even trust his own senses. How arrogant and pathetic Vil must be if he can still vote for himself in good conscience after witnessing the pure wholesomeness of Neige Leblanche. Someone who would never overblot. Thankfully, he has Rook to humble that arrogance and tell him what he needs to know. Even if he’s tactless about it. 

I mean, Vil literally ran looking for a scale immediately after Rook’s comments on his weight. He probably added an extra hour to his daily workout routine the morning after eating the cake Trey gave him. I don’t believe that Rook is completely oblivious of Vil’s darker feelings, just as Vil has stated, he keeps too close an eye on him not to be oblivious. And he was astute enough to keep his infatuation with Neige a secret from Vil for nearly two years. This had to have been intentional. It honestly makes me wonder what Rook thinks of Vil on a more personal level. 

But regardless, the fact is, Rook was always going to vote for Neige and his explanation at the end of Book 5 was always going to be his reasoning. Vil’s overblot just gave him a more “legitimate” reason to do so. For whatever reverence he holds for Vil, it was never going to trump his reverence for Neige. The fact he brought all of his Neige photos with him to the training camp further implies that he was never going to be objective in this situation. And seeing Vil almost poison Neige probably further convinced him that Vil was undeserving of victory. 

That may make Rook seem duplicitous considering how positive and sincere he seems to be, but he’s still human. And truthfully, him voting for his bias is not an inherently bad thing. What makes him inconsiderate in this situation is openly telling Vil he prefers the catalyst for all his insecurities and overblot, while Vil was still grieving and in a very vulnerable place. Then justifying his decision as the correct one based on his own personal preferences, weaponizing that vulnerability to avoid being called out. Knowing that Vil wasn’t likely going to object. 

Even if NRC Tribe did win, it’s very likely Rook would have still brought up his vote to Vil and still convinced him it was undeserved. I would even go so far as to argue that Rook’s remarks about Neige early on in book 5 as well as Vil’s labwear vignette foreshadow the ending of book 5/start of book 6 far more than the fact that the huntsman betrayed the evil queen in the original Snow White. 

That coupled with a perfectionist like Vil looking back at their less-than-perfect performance is what compelled him to agree with Rook. If we take into account the idea that Vil still chose to vote for his own team afterwards, Rook’s actions and words probably further pushed him into believing in the idea of his inherent villainy and inferiority to Neige. After all, surely Neige Leblanche would never be reduced to such a hideous state. His heart is too pure, the fairest one of all and as different from Vil as night and day. 

If left to his own devices without Rook to influence him, Vil might not be so hard on himself in this case and would resent his defeat more. As he has every right to. But instead, Vil agreed with what was easiest and what made most sense based on everything that has happened in his life and all that he has been made to believe about himself. Why should he continue protesting when no one else will? 

Nevermind all the evidence we’ve seen of Vil’s tenacity, excellence and kindness. Why should he believe that he is the most beautiful one of all when Mira frequently tells him the opposite? Why should he believe in his own noble spirit when people openly say it’s not enough and that he’s not relatable enough to be a hero? Why shouldn’t he believe he is hideous when the entire world says it’s so? When even a large majority of this very fucking fandom mischaracterize him as such and agree with Rook anyway? 

Why should Vil question any of this?

And Vil will sadly continue to be second to Neige and will likely never question it. He will continue to internalize the toxic dichotomy between him and Neige and again, why shouldn’t he? After all, Vil is the evil queen to Neige’s Snow White, the Sharpay to his Gabriella, the Odile to his Odette, the Madonna to his whore. Vil is not supposed to be the hero in this story and not even his trusted vice dorm leader has faith in him.

In discourse regarding the end of book 5, I’ve often heard it said that this was a “lesson” Vil had to learn in order to become a better person. I believe there was indeed a lesson to be learned from this, but not the one that many think. Since Vil knew from the beginning that trying to poison Neige was wrong, he didn’t need to learn how to play fair like Leona. 

Despite being a harsh leader, Vil was generally always fair with his teammates and again, as a former dancer, the way Vil instructed the NRC Tribe members seemed tame compared to some of the dance teachers I’ve had in the past. So learning to be less tyrannical wasn’t the lesson to learn either, like with Riddle. And part of what led to his overblot was realizing that NRC Tribe had been “outplayed” by Neige’s cuteness. But he still had enough faith in his ability to vote for his own team, so learning not to be manipulative wasn’t really needed either, like with Azul. 

No, the lesson for Vil here is that hard work is rarely ever rewarded fairly. And that his trauma is not valid because he was blessed in a way that Neige was not. He must always take second place to him because of his blessings while simultaneously ALWAYS being perfect. And because of his blessings, he can never express ugly emotions, he can never express anguish, and he must always, ALWAYS, take his mistreatment in stride. And God forbid if Vil DOES respond to his trauma in an ugly manner, he WILL be punished for it. He will ALWAYS be punished for it and by those closest to him no less. 

If Vil doesn’t like how they’ve treated him in his darkest hour, tough titties. It’s all his fault for not hiding his trauma to begin with. And he doesn’t even have the right to a moment to himself to cry. 

But that is where my analysis ends. Honestly this was kind of painful to write because it has made me fully realize just how much I’ve grown to disdain Rook after adoring him for so long. You all have no idea how hard I was hoping he would have some scrap of redemption in book 6. It’s really upsetting that so many people in this fandom look down on Vil or mischaracterize him but somehow don’t notice the glaring red flags in his dynamic with his vice dorm leader. 

Honestly, when I think about it, the ending of Book 5 is actually kind of brilliant, even if it’s also emotionally sadistic and lacking in other aspects. I'm not sure if that was Yana’s intention, but the fact that so many in the fandom tend to see Rook as the kinder one compared to Vil is very telling. 

Now I’m not saying that Vil is absolutely without flaws, Heaven knows he has many. As does every person in the twst cast. Vil is impulsive, domineering, harsh, difficult to please, overwhelming at times and extremely complex. But he is also helpful, perceptive, intelligent, genuinely kind and wants the best for those around him. Not for his own glory but for their own happiness and well-being. He is also clearly a deeply misunderstood and insecure young man, so I guess because of Vil’s faults, it’s “easier” to mischaracterize him. 

As for me, I find Vil’s character all the more compelling in spite of his harshness because I can see in him a true understanding of beauty that is both profound and attainable by anyone. If we are brave enough to behold it.

#twisted wonderland #jas reads twst #long post #twst book 5 #twst book 6 #twst vil #vil schoenheit #pomefiore #shut up jas

[cheesebearger]

during my masters i had a class w a professor who tried to tell me that i couldn't discuss the religious imagery in beckett because his work "resisted external influence" like beckett just created literature in a void. just because his work is written with the intent to make you feel the horror and anxieties of existing in a literal void (resistance work underground in wwii france) does not mean you can't discuss his use of religious imagery which, obv, did not come to him ex nihilo lmfao

#i never took another class w her because i despise hardliners like that in english #like this woman acted like she personally knew beckett and that he told her his personal intent for his works #and then used her opinion of his 'true intentions' as reason to disagree with any other kind of analysis of his work #like i am so sorry helen but when a man lives in FRANCE and writes about a guy who thinks hes being punished by god - #believe it or not he has been influenced by some of the stuff around him namely the catholic/christian french lmfao

[chrysopoeias]

opinion posting about riza hawkeye/otp on something i see a lot around town but i disagree with.

Anyway. One thing I see more often than not is the idea that Hawkeye joined the military in order to chase after Mustang because she wanted to protect him. Or that she chased him while in love. But that is actually not true. I know ‘Because I have someone to protect’ is meemed into everyone’s head, but that was not her reason for joining the army. And it does not make sense either.

Like in a strategy guide to get Riza laid any% speedrun, what option is most logical?

1) Go completely no-contact with Mustang. Attend possibly multiple years of the military academy, likely in a different region from where he is. Get into a speciality that is wildly different from him. Git gud at that and then hope that maybe, if all the stars align her future boss will one day for some random reason put her in the proximity of this magic scientist she has not spoken to in years. And then ??? profit?

2) Literally just call Roy on his phone number, perhaps sent him a nice letter, or visit his address.

Sure, the first thing is what actually happened. But it's way too uncertain for that to have been planned. She did not need to be a soldier to be close to him. Roy was not a stranger to Riza, she had his current up to date contact info. He gave it to her on page/screen after her dad died. 

When she first sees Mustang in Ishval Hawkeye looks angered and shocked to see him. The first thing she says to him is ‘Do you remember me?’. These two had no contact at all between 1905 and 1908. Mustang got flame alchemy and skedaddled out of her life (even though he was supposed to look after her lmao) and Hawkeye also had clearly no intention of seeking him out when she could have done so easily. She did not join the army to protect him. And also, she says why she joined:

She wanted to improve the lives of the people of Amestris. So am I saying it had nothing to do with Mustang? Well no. Her reasons for joining the military are the same as his. 

She looked up to him. Here is this young man who has been to places beyond her sad little town and graduated from the military academy, he is a genius alchemist and must know what he’s talking about, right? That is on top of whatever their relationship was like before then, and whatever adoration she had for him already. She trusted him and thought his dreams were wonderful. Riza also wanted to believe in a peaceful future. Remember that they live in a totalitarian military dictatorship that has been in continued armed conflicts since the middle ages. There has never been a time of peace, ever, since the country was founded. And from the normie Amestrian point of view, they are just defending themselves from outside attacks. I believe that if Hawkeye and Mustang were sent to a border conflict instead of the civil war, they would have never questioned their government.

Anyway, Riza saw an opportunity to be useful with her own two hands, beyond being a walking notebook. Even if she could die in the process, it’d be worth to try. (And the military would also give her a salary after growing up in poverty and a place to live that is not the house she was abused in). She was a teenager with no family, no guidance, no idea what to make of herself. But this was something she could do. (She could have chosen many non-violent paths instead too, to be fair, but I digress).

And then it all went to shit obviously. You cannot become a sniper and never expect to kill. Selling your agency to the state means you can’t just play hero when you want to, you will be sent where ordered whether you like it or not, and forced to commit horrors or die a traitor. Believing the naive ideals of protecting her country was a mistake. Blindly admiring and trusting Mustang was a mistake. Smarter people than me can go expand on that.

But the ‘because there is someone I have to protect’ reason Hawkeye gives for being in the military is actually the reason why she stays. She could have gotten her diploma after Ishval and leave the military behind. But she chose not to.

She stays and will continue to kill because flame alchemy is her responsibility and she has created Mustang, all his kills are mentally hers. If she quits or kills herself while he does not, flame alchemy is still loose in the world outside her control. And just like Roy, she never fully gives up on her dream about protecting everyone. There must be a way to make all this worth it. There is still a way to change the country so future generations won’t have to go through what she did. She’s already doomed so she will take that responsibility so others won’t have to. She violently and fully clings to that.

If Mustang dies before doing anything positive for the world with their dreams and his abilities, all Hawkeye has done with her short life is cause destruction, murder and create a murderer, all the suffering would have been a waste. She cannot life with that guilt or continue the path alone, she will give up and kill herself. Especially in the scenario where she kills Roy herself, and with that her only hope.

There is no way out for them. But their murder-suicide pact was not planned for since they were young. They never intended to see each other again and spend their lives like this. You can blame dad for setting them up for failure.

#verwijder later #thanks for reading my rambles if you do #i have to write it out or it keeps bouncing in my head and distracting me all day at work

[lennonmurphy]

In Defense of Skyler White

This is probably my favorite piece I've ever written. I've posted it on my Substack and other platforms, but I wanted to post it here as well. It explores the hate Skyler White from Breaking Bad gets, including its origins. In media, women are so easily torn apart for even the most minor of "offenses". People are far more willing to forgive an actual drug dealer who has killed rather than lend any sympathy to his wife who is trying to protect her family.

Without further ado, enjoy my essay- in defense of Skyler White.

Breaking Bad is widely considered one of the best, if not the best, television series of all time. I certainly don’t disagree- the acting is top-notch, the storytelling is next-level, and the writing is a lesson to screenwriters everywhere. It is about as close to the perfect show as you can possibly get. The premise follows Walter White, a 50 year old high school chemistry teacher who is diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. Fearing he will leave nothing to his family once he is gone, he turns to cooking and selling meth to leave a nest egg for his wife and two children. As the series continues, we see Walt’s dark side come out in the form of Heisenberg, his alias he uses for his “affairs”. The line between Walt and Heisenberg becomes increasingly blurry, and his true intentions come into question. Is he truly aiming to provide for his family, or is he engaging in a contest of his own invention wherein he proves his masculinity which he feels he has been lacking? Breaking Bad, like any other form of media, exists in the public sphere and is thus subject to public opinion and discourse. We can then assume the discussion of Breaking Bad as a form of significant and impactful media will be influenced by the dominant discourses of the institutions and society that surround it– dominant discourses govern our discussions of popular media.

Many viewers of the show seem to understand Walt’s motivations to an extent, and his position as the main character often causes the audience to root for him, even if unconsciously. He is a dying man seeking respair– the return of hope after a period of despair. In his mind, the return of hope signifies a gain of masculinity, pride, strength, and enough money for him to be the sole provider for his family. A desire to be strong and masculine is not necessarily a negative thing, but the problem is Walt is willing to achieve this even if it puts him and his family in significant danger, and even if it kills others. Walt’s desire to embody masculinity comes with a far more destructive message– be what society expects of a man and distance yourself from any form of weakness in order to truly be a man, and never let up. He received a spectacular offer to pay for his cancer treatment from his former business partners, Elliot and Gretchen, but because he has a spotted history with them, he refuses the money out of pride and turns to cooking meth. He had a clear way out, but he couldn’t go through with it due to his pride. Even after he makes plenty of money from his meth business, he continues to cook– due to his pride. He enjoys feeling intimidating, he enjoys feeling strong, and he enjoys feeling powerful. He claims to do this for his family, but at the end of the day he was selfishly seeking his own respair through a highly addictive drug of his own– toxic masculinity. Even if an audience can look at this critically, it becomes difficult to not root for Walt given his position as the main character and “protagonist”. Anyone who gets in his way is a hindrance, even if they act reasonably under the circumstances. And, if Walt doesn’t win, the show ends.

However, his many hindrances in the show do not receive vitriol quite like Skyler White. Hank Schrader, Walt’s DEA agent brother-in-law, is constantly on his tail. Gustavo Fring, a dangerous drug kingpin who Walt is always in spades with, is always scheming and plotting to get rid of him. Even Jesse Pinkman, his most loyal business partner, threatens to kill Walt several times. Yet Skyler, because of her position as Walt’s wife, is held to an entirely different standard. She does not fit her mold like the other characters do. She does what is unexpected of her in a patriarchal society– she goes against her husband’s wishes and does not support his drug kingpin lifestyle. She will do anything to keep her kids safe. As I said before, the media is enveloped by public discourse– as is Skyler White. In this piece, I mean to explore the origins of the hate directed towards this character and how dominant discourses inform it in various forms of media and public texts. Discourses inform society and our discussion of others, as well as TV characters, which then feeds into real life. So, why do dominant discourses hold women to a higher scrutiny in the media and in public texts?

TikTok and the Memeification of Female Suffering

The screenshot above is a viral TikTok claiming that the story of Breaking Bad without Skyler is a far happier one wherein Walter and Jesse are extremely successful, at peace, and happy. The video itself showcases actors Bryan Cranston (Walter White) and Aaron Paul (Jesse Pinkman) decked out in stylish clothes and having fun in each others’ company, so essentially living “better lives” without Skyler in it. This TikTok claims that Walter and Jesse would have an objectively better time throughout the series of Breaking Bad had Skyler not acted as a “hindrance” despite Skyler protecting them on more than one occasion. She ensured her former boss Ted Beneke paid his dues to the IRS so she and her family would not be implicated in a case of fraud, sued, and sent to jail (considering this would lead them directly to Walt’s business). This action protected Skyler’s family as well as Walt. Had Skyler not laundered money for Walt (out of fear of what he could do to her, mind you), Walt would have been caught much sooner. After all, you can’t explain millions of dollars appearing out of nowhere in Walt’s pockets. Skyler kept Walt’s spending in check so as to not arouse suspicion and even created a cover story for him when talking to her sister Marie and her husband Hank so they could explain their purchase of the car wash Walt worked at (a front for money laundering, of course). If this post were accurate, this would be breaking bad if Walter or Gus did not exist considering they are the primary causes of the conflict we see within the show. Yet, since public discourse on breaking bad is virtually centered on hating Skyler, this post is seen as valid and acceptable without any critical examination of the vital role she plays in the show. She’s viewed as a hindrance because she does not let her husband do exactly what he wants with unwavering support, even if her actions protect him. Going even further, this kind of media is accepted broadly and is the dominant discourse considering it is somehow still palatable to hate women for steering away from gender norms. Thus, these forms of public texts are seen as humorous rather than fallacious.  This TikTok alone garnered 1.4 million likes, showing just how dominant this discourse is with millions of TikTok users agreeing. These posts are then recycled, regurgitated, sent to other users, reposted, all perpetuating that this discourse holding disdain for women who go against socially accepted gender norms is valid and acceptable, and any defense of Skyler is seen as invalid. Women, even if they try to follow a moral compass, are still held to a higher, impossible standard.

Reddit: Words Without Thought

YouTube is a treasure trove for anyone wanting to watch video essays. There may be some that are questionable, but some are quite insightful. I watched YouTuber Jack Saint’s video "Why Do You Hate Skyler White?” to gain more information on hatred directed towards Skyler. The video included several Reddit comments about her, like the following:

The misogynistic and derogatory tone comes across alarmingly clear. To this commenter, Skyler is not working against a dangerous drug kingpin– she is essentially raining on Walt’s parade, even if his parade is doing the unspeakable. She is “ball-busting” or taking away from Walt’s pursuit of masculinity.

Skyler is apparently out to “fuck up” Walt’s life, even though one could argue Walt himself did the “fucking up” when he decided to cook meth. Like I mentioned earlier, Walt had several outs and did not take them. Skyler was essentially doing damage control for him. Yet, because she deviates from the norm we expect of her, the public hates her and even wishes murder in the most gruesome and violent sense upon her.

This comment claims that Walt is doing “all he can” to fix his family’s financial issues while having cancer. This completely ignores the fact that again, Walt was given several outs from the meth business. Skyler is not a “traditional” woman. She, according to this comment, “overrules” Walt, which is not the role of a societally approved wife. She is expected to stand by her husband regardless. She deviates, and reasonably so, and is immediately compared to a man in this comment. Her deviation from the norm is viewed as masculine rather than reasonable and is disliked rather than understood. She is called a “bad mother” despite her doing everything in her power to protect her family. Skyler is not without flaw, but in comparison to Walt’s actions, she is a saint. She did everything she could despite feeling unsafe. Walt receives virtually none of the same criticisms, despite the cartel entering their home and planning to slaughter him and his entire family. Walt watched Jesse’s girlfriend Jane die, he poisoned a child and framed Gustavo for it so Jesse would be on his side to kill him, he killed many innocent people, yet somehow Skyler is viewed as the villain and a bad parent.

In the context of the show, Skyler is framed as an antagonist towards Walt and Jesse. She is a metaphorical roadblock to their schemes and makes their lives harder– but this is a very, very good thing. Stopping someone from selling addictive drugs and from killing others is an objectively good thing, most can agree. As I mentioned previously, Skyler manages to receive all of the flack for this despite several other characters also acting as roadblocks and preventing Walt from achieving his goals. Yet, many of these characters are beloved by the fanbase. Skyler is the first one out of all of these characters to discover Walt’s secret double life and she was immediately put into danger with no one to understand or listen to her. If someone’s life is threatened, they will do almost anything to protect it. She even gives Walt an ultimatum that if he stays away from the family, she will not rat him out. Walt calls her bluff when she finally does call the police as he stays in her house, since he is well aware that she is terrified. He plays the part of the doting father in front of the police, knowing, scarily, that it is just an act. Walt is a master manipulator.

But, since the narrative of the show is controlled, how conflicts are portrayed can be masterfully crafted in a way so audiences direct their sympathies to extraordinarily undeserving parties. The audience of Breaking Bad may feel for Walt– he has been emasculated, is attempting to be the father he believes he should be, and is aiming to provide for his family. But from Skyler’s perspective, all you can see is a man manipulating his way back into your home after completely transforming morally. Skyler’s point of view is completely dismissed, despite her having every reason to be afraid and want to keep her children away. Walt claims they are not in danger, yet, two cartel members enter their home in an attempt to kill the entire family. This is precisely what Skyler fears, yet she is gaslit into believing all of Walt’s actions are justifiable. Skyler’s fear continues to be validated as the show progresses and as Walt’s cognitive dissonance deepens. He claims he is in fact “the danger” yet he falls apart in the episode “Crawl Space”, knowing that Gustavo is out to kill his entire family and there is nothing he can do about it. People are quick to blame Skyler here, considering the money the family could have used to adopt new identities and escape was taken by Skyler and given to Ted Beneke, her former boss who she slept with when she and Walt first separated. But, even in this moment, Skyler was acting to protect her family. She had to give the money to Ted so that he could pay his dues to the IRS. If he didn’t, Skyler would be implicated for accounting fraud, her family would be at risk, and Walt would be found out–  creating even more danger for the family. Skyler is posed as this constant hindrance, but was she ever really wrong in taking the actions she did? Skyler can at least solidly state that her actions truly were for her family.

She of course does not want to demonize Walt in the eyes of her children, so she sacrifices virtually everything. She accepts that Walt Junior, their eldest son, will view his mother as a “bitch” since she wants to keep Walt, who appears as well meaning, out of his life. She even fakes a suicide attempt in order to get Hank and Marie to take the kids away so that they are far away from Walt, and she is willing to harm herself even further to keep the kids away. This is a showcase of how far a mother will go to protect her children, yet she is still so vehemently hated.

Walt exemplifies masculine dominance and authority, at least to men who have no grasp or understanding of toxic masculinity. Walt is not somebody to look up to, and certainly not someone to aspire to be. He is ruthless and desires endless power, and will do anything to get it. That is what a man should do, right? Yet Skyler does not enable him endlessly. Sure, she helps him, but only from a place of fear. Everything she does is to protect her family from Walt ( as shown through her quote, “someone has to protect this family from the man who protects this family”) and she is suddenly not the supportive wife she is prescribed to be. She is hated. Walt embodies an unhealthy role and is praised, Skyler operates reasonably under the circumstances and is met with endless vitriol. At the end of the show, Walt even admits the truth - he did this for himself. Yet, he is never demonized the way Skyler is. Skyler did what felt right, never what was pleasing to an audience that hates women and engages in dominant discourses that prescribe exactly what a woman should be and do.

Overall, given this mountain of evidence that Skyler is not the villain dominant discourses often make her out to be, I believe it says a lot how women are perceived in these kinds of situations. Gender expectations of fictional characters are projected from real-life patriarchal expectations, and if a character who does not fit these prescribed states of being and doing, a woman in real life who does the same will be met with even more vitriol. The dominant discourse clearly shows that women must be the “perfect victim” in order to receive sympathy or social goods. A mother that makes mistakes will always be held to a higher standard than a literal meth dealer and murderer.

These Reddit comments functioning as public texts also influence the dominant discourse in that it makes people feel all the more comfortable in tearing down Skyler, despite a mountain of evidence against them. With Walt’s position as the frontrunner of the show and a discourse that prescribes previously accepted social norms and roles onto women, Skyler becomes increasingly easy to hate and to blame for every challenge Walt faces. Essentially, these discussions informed by preconceived societal notions of what a woman should be are reinforced by how Breaking Bad as a piece of media is presented and how its audience discusses it given the institutions the audience is influenced by and inhabits. It is a vicious cycle, and not even Skyler’s actress, Anna Gunn, can leave the discussion unscathed.

Gunn received death threats for the role. No such things were done to Bryan Cranston (Walt), Aaron Paul (Jesse), Giancarlo Esposito (Gustavo), or anybody else on the show no matter the awful things their characters did. There was a clear separation between the actor and the character. But, Gunn was not afforded the same luxury. People saw her as Skyler, and in the dominant discourse’s eyes, she did not exist outside of that character. She is not allowed by the dominant discourse to be complex, similar to Skyler. Gunn herself wrote on the matter.

Anna Gunn: I Have a Character Issue

Though unpopular to dominant discourses, Gunn wrote an op-ed for the New York Times entitled “I Have a Character Issue”. In it, she discusses the hatred her character Skyler has received. She notes there are popular websites and Facebook pages devoted to hating Skyler, which she believes to have strong implications for how society views women who are strong, non-submissive, and imperfect.

Gunn addresses a statement I made earlier– in her words, there is a “natural tendency to empathize with and root for [Walt], despite [Walt’s] moral failings”. Skyler is consistently in opposition to him, so she becomes easier and easier to view as the antagonist. Gunn knew Skyler would be unpopular due to this fact, but she never expected it to be so extreme. She also notes that in popular and dominant discourses, male characters do not seem to inspire this kind of “public venting and vitriol”.

Essentially, Skyler White is a clear measure of society’s attitude toward gender and gender roles not only in media, but in the real world. Skyler is a victim in her situation and receives no sympathy, and neither does Gunn when she receives countless death threats.

How Skyler is discussed publicly has dangerous implications. The way the dominant discourse discusses Skyler White is horrifyingly similar to dominant discourses discussing female victims in real life. If the dominant discourse will not believe a fictional character, how will they believe a real person being affected in real time?

Despite the validity of Gunn’s critiques, many would not be convinced. Gunn alone has the depth of understanding of Skyler’s character that would make her one of the best defenses possible of the character, but because dominant discourses and fanbases are dedicated to not only hating Skyler, but Gunn as well, they are not likely to be convinced. Skyler’s failings are attributed to her inability to adhere to gender expectations, as are Gunn’s. If Skyler cannot be heard out, Gunn will likely not be heard out either. This again speaks to how female victims are discussed in the public sphere– they can present a mountain of evidence, but a shred of perceived “indecency” or not fitting the mold assigned to them, they are ignored. It doesn’t fit what the dominant discourse wants, which is a perfect woman. Thus, Gunn’s op-ed is tossed aside for public texts and media that better fit the dominant discourse– ones that hail Skyler as the true “villain” of the story. This makes it all the more easier to hate similar female characters, as well as women in real life, perpetuating an endless misogynistic cycle– women must be perfect, or else.

#my writing #breaking bad #skyler white #walter white #jesse pinkman #mike ehrmantraut #gustavo fring #misogyny in media #misogyny #feminism #strong female characters #film and tv #sexism #reddit #writing #essay #in this essay i will

[hoghtastic]

"You see Johanne’s posts as just “sharing her life”. Well that’s fine. Others don’t. It’s really not that big of a deal. ------You said that some fans are “reading too much” into Johanne’s posts. Ok, that’s possible. But have you considered the possibility that some of Johanne’s posts are actually calculated/deliberate. And I disagree anon, I think Johanne is definitely trying to “grow her own fan base”.----- I think she is enjoying the “benefits”/“perks” of being Alex’s girlfriend. Such as her follower count has increased (and still increasing little by little), the number of likes on her posts has increased, new “friendships” etc……Overall she is getting more exposure. "

First, I think you're one who has responded to several people here, but why do all of your responses seem so triggered? As if the first asks are directly addressing you, anon? If it's "not that big of a deal," then why do you continue to respond as if it is?

Secondly, I think ANY girl Alex would date, who is also in the industry, would be reaping "the benefits and perks" of being Alex's girlfriend and would automatically "gain more exposure." BUT I also think he would want them to. I think he'd only be used if he didn't want to share in his success, but we've seen how, even with his friends, he has promoted them and whatever they've had going on because he knows his influence has a positive impact on what they're doing. He would naturally want the same for his own girlfriend, too. So why does it matter if she grows her fan base or if her follower numbers go up? I don't think he'd care and actually think he'd be happy to know he could help her with that if it's something she wants.

The question here is what her intentions are, and we just simply don't know. We can guess or speculate what we think or what it looks like, but we honestly just do not know. I can say, myself, that yes, a lot of her moves have appeared to have been "calculated and deliberate," but we can not say, for sure, what the reason is and it doesn't automatically mean that her feelings for him aren't genuine. I'm not saying you have questioned if her feelings for him are real or not, but many have. And seriously, we just simply don't know.

So many opinions have been stated like facts, and I recognize that even what I think may be completely wrong. And I certainly am not trying to change anyone else's opinion. I'm just saying that there has to be more than meets the eye. We aren't seeing the full picture, but just a one-sided glimpse. I just don't believe a man who is so smart that he can remember seriously hard lines for a role in a language he's never acted in before and then also do it quite well and convincingly is so blind and dumb that someone could completely use and manipulate him and he'd have absolutely no clue whatsoever. A "self-taught" actor and photographer is not an idiot and I just don't think he's that gullible. And for his sake, let's hope I'm right!

Anon to anon. 😊

But if I may also add my two cents, I'd like to say that I agree with you for the most part. I agree that Alex, being with a person he loves, would love her to do well and be successful, just like all of us want the best for the people we love. However, she (and her friends!) seem to rely on this too much, catering specifically to his fanbase by always tagging him whenever possible. One thing would be him using his platform to promote them, like he does for other friends of his, and a completely different thing is them using him to promote themselves (like they've been doing for the most part). And while I also agree that we don't see the full picture, only small glimpses into their lives that they decide to share on social media, the truth is that what they've been sharing gives this impression... it may or may not be true, but it's all we've got to base our opinions on.

Plus, just a little reminder that being very talented and intelligent doesn't automatically make a person a good judge of character. The same way the most gifted kids at school will often times feel unprepared to deal with "real life" and its challenges, and being really good at memorizing or at acquiring an amount of skills doesn't make one less gullible or naive when dealing with other people, especially when their intentions aren't as genuine as they make it seem.

#anon asks #anon to anon

[hageny]

Succession Thoughts: Gerri x Roman

1. The Bleeding.

With the season finale of Succession just days away, the future of Roman and Gerri is heavy on the minds of many who watch the show. The pained, forlorn “will they, won’t they” dance they’ve done for three years has come to a painful head, and most in the fandom know--realistically--that the ending of the season will be, for these two, painful. Happiness may be on the horizon, but it’s likely far away from where we sit right now. Sunday’s episode provoked strong reactions within the fandom, with some expressing their desire to call it quits on shipping Roman/Gerri, labeling Roman a “sexual harasser”, and questioning the consent within their relationship this season. As I’ve said before, everyone is entitled to their opinion. But in the world of Succession, black and white does not rule the day; nuance is key. Things are shaded grey, often open to interpretation, and a lot of what occurs is left for the viewer to decide. Lines are not always clear; actions are hazy; intent is questionable. It’s of course no secret that Roman sent a dick pic to Gerri, and it was this conclusion in the episode that sent a lot of people into a frenzy. To be fair, the reaction is understandable. The relationship between the two has always been unusual: the abrupt beginning of the sexual aspect of their relationship, the hazy feelings between the two, the question of who wants who more. But it’s never been put to the test in any definable way, and certainly not in the way we saw it tested this past week. To begin, I will say I don’t consider what Roman did--sending the dick pic after Gerri asked him to not send anymore--to be sexual harassment. Many will disagree. But I’ll explain why here. Firstly, what Roman did was certainly wrong. If anyone is asked to stop doing something, especially of a sexual nature, then that behavior should not continue, especially considering these two are technically only coworkers. But I think the question of why Roman did what he did can be answered by looking at him more closely. In the scene in the hotel, where he goes to Gerri’s room to get her for drinks and she then asks him to stop sending her, “the items”, he says something that is key: “I’m not so sure, I feel like you do want them, but you’re being kind of typically minxy”. This line is key, because it allows the audience to understand why Roman behaves how he does later. We have to consider who Roman is as a person. This is a man who was abused as a child--as all the children were--and was also subject to physical abuse (and still is) at the hands of Logan. His mother was absent, as we learn in her scene with Shiv, disinterested in her children, and saying dogs would’ve been more to her liking. As an adult, Roman is thrust into a world where boundaries are scant--if nonexistent--and given access to a job and a lifestyle few could imagine. He makes references to his mental health issues at times, at once saying he has borderline personality disorder, then telling Mattson that he can’t pee in front of other men, “due to, we don’t know what reason”. What is true and what isn’t with Roman is always in question. The dog cage story is set up early to help us understand this. The gap between his memories and others is filled with doubt. What really happened to him is unclear. In relationships--outside of his with Gerri--he operates on a totally superficial level. He starts with Grace, discards her once she displeases him, trades her in for Tabitha--who incidentally looks very similar to her predecessor, something that is worth noting--and connects to her better than he did with Grace, but ultimately finds her boring. He doesn’t connect with his father, can’t connect with his siblings, and suddenly finds himself in a relationship with an older, more experienced human being who is more sure of who she is than he is. Roman’s awkward fumbling, his sexual come ons, his propositions of marriage, and his jealousy when she begins dating Laurie are all new ground to him. He’s never connected with someone like he does with Gerri, and he wants to hold on to her but can’t do the obvious thing and simply sit her down and tell her how he feels--like a functioning adult would. That he cares about her is undoubtable. But he has no clue what to do with that. So he does what he knows, he goads her, hears her turn him down, and thinks that it’s part of the game they’ve been playing. To be fair, Gerri has been a willing participant in this game. She’s never turned away from their sexual encounters, wanted him to stay with her when he could’ve jumped ship and gone to Kendall’s side, been sorry when she hurt his feelings and made a show of her apology (a very significant, underappreciated moment, considering the whole of her character). She’s a contributor to his confusion because of this. Their union has been set on a foundation of crass behavior: Gerri dominates him in the bedroom, talks down on him, and Roman responds by being turned on. So when he later tells her that he can’t tell what she wants, he’s being honest. This season has seen fans of Gerri and Roman waffle about who wants who, and it’s always been hard to decide. One moment contradicts the next, affirms the one before it. It’s interesting that, although Gerri comes to Italy with Laurie in tow, he’s not really seen by the audience. He doesn’t have more than one line, and is a footnote in the episode, hinting that maybe he’s a footnote in her life. She expends more time and energy on Roman during the excursion. Later, during the final moments of the show, when Roman is questioned by Logan, we see him do something uncharacteristic, for any of the kids. He goes to leave when he’s dismissed, and then stops, telling his dad, “I think perhaps we should not fire her for receiving pictures of my dick.” He asks his father, “So, like, what happens now?” He’s concerned. Roman understands, clearly, that he made a mistake. He knows Gerri shouldn’t be blamed for his actions, and he’s obviously nervous that this one moment of poor judgement will be the end of their time together. When Logan says Gerri is, “a million years old”, he’s obviously contradicting himself, given his romantic engagements, and also borrowing from what Shiv said beforehand. It’s a peek into the societal lens that finds accepting an older woman with a younger man difficult. It’s also a peek into the familiar, contradictory nature of parents, who sometimes say one thing and do another. Logan is replete with contradictions, like anyone else on the show. The way Shiv approaches the situation is no shock. I’ve said before her knowing about Gerri and Roman was the worst thing that could happen, and this much has proven true. Shiv’s only concern is, as usual, for herself. She’s totally self-absorbed, indifferent to the delicacy of the situation, and evinces no concern for either Gerri or her brother. She sees an opening and takes a shot she’s been waiting for take for months. When she tells Tom earlier in the episode, “I may not love you, but I do love you” she means it. Shiv doesn’t love anyone or anything more than herself. She feels love as deeply as the mother she despises: in a totally superficial, inconsequential way. It’s never deep enough that she wouldn’t hurt you. Gerri, of course, is smart enough to know this. She knows Shiv. She knows the Roys. She also doesn’t want to hurt Roman. She easily could have thrown him under the bus, filed a complaint, and been done with him. But she didn’t want to. And Roman didn’t turn on her either. They defended each other, even when they were separated from each other. In a show scant on morals and any real displays of character, this moment certainly was one, as much as Gerri and Roman have any character. There are so many shades of grey in this situation that one could wax poetic on it for forever, but one can only talk so long. In the end, what’s next for them is as big a concern as what just happened, and the future is, to be frank, fairly bleak. This moment both puts Roman and Gerri on the same side but also equally divides them. It’s the perfect thorn in the side of an otherwise amiable partnership. There is an equal chance they will turn on one another as there is that they will hold on to each other to survive. So far, they’ve held to one another, remaining faithful even as other relationships crumbled. There are two answers to the dilemma they’re in: fake a relationship, or screw each other over. Roman and Gerri have always been outliers in that, while other people knifed each other, they stood by one another. The big question is: will they do that now that the chips are down on their table? 

#gerri/roman #gerri x roman #gerri kellman #roman roy #succession #succession hbo #hbo succession #succession thoughts

[bratz-kitten]

attack on titan characters - birth chart analysis 🌙

Here is my take on the big 6 of Levi, Eren, Armin and Mikasa of attack on titan/shingeki no kyojin! I kept their sun signs since we know the day and month of their birthday and since I think they’re absolutely perfect. If you want me to do my take on the others (like Jean, Historia, Erwin, Hanji, Connie, Sasha, Reiner, etc) please let me know! (spoiler warning!)

Levi Ackerman

sun in capricorn - levi mf ackerman is fuelled by three things and three things only: LOYALTY, a strong moral code and power. he is seen by most people as a heartless, unemotional bastard but is canonically the most emotional character - he shows love through very indirect ways and he’s the peak of capricorn in the sense that he represses his emotions – he smiled literally ONE time in four seasons, and didn’t once shed a tear. he’s very hard to read. has a lot of respect for his superiors and follows the orders of only those he’s loyal to. he’s driven by his moral codes in the sense that the protection of humanity is his prime motive for fighting titans. like a true capricorn, is the master of his field of work and cares the most about being a survey corp member. please protect this tragic baby. 

virgo rising - two words: CLEAN FREAK. this man has a strong need to be presentable at all times and hates getting blood on his hands for the single fact that he needs himself and his environment to be clean. his obsession with being clean is very much due to his childhood trauma and how he lived in in poor conditions in the underground. he has many quirks that correlate with this: the way he holds his cup, the carvat he uses bc of his mother, and the way he always cuts his own hair because that’s the way his mother used to do it.  intimidating and demands respect. DRY HUMOUR. 

moon in scorpio - i think he has many similarities with mikasa, especially in the moon and venus. introverted and hates people but will go to the ends of the earth to protect the ones he loves and respects. represses emotions and internalizes his hatred until he has a mental breakdown - which happens in the form of extreme violence. VERY sensitive and emotional even if he doesn’t show it. he’s very intuitive and often acts based on gut; he’s secretive and vindictive. very wise and great at giving advice. doesn’t let himself get manipulated and uses shitty situations to his advantage (like with the reeves company). trust is the most important thing to him.

mercury in aquarius - levi is extremely logical, and hates when others involve their feelings in the making of decisions. his decisions are always backed up by strong arguments and others often see him as cold and detached. i saw someone  mention something extremely interesting about aquarius mercury’s/people with their mercuries in the 11th house: despite not being very sociable, others are drawn to them for friendships – and often they’re the introverts who get “adopted” by extroverts. this is 100% levi’s case, hanji and erwin practically adopted him. being very vulgar with his words and having a distinctive sense of humour, he’s very humanitarian and is actually really talkative but only when he’s very comfortable around someone. blunt, always tells it like it is – like when he tells eren he can’t know what the right choice really is and he needs to choose it himself. teases and insults his friends as a form of affection.

mars in scorpio - levi’s a fighter, a survivor. he knows what it’s like to come from nothing and have to build himself up. very confrontational. reclaims his power by exerting intimidation and mastering violence. others fear doing as much as make a joke at his expense. understands other’s motivations and characters very easily. he’s very intuitive. very serious due to his need for having an intense and demanding presence, for being respected and valued. he’s the one who everyone sighs of relief when things go to shit and he appears because you know he’s the strongest and most dependable person.

venus in capricorn - good luck getting this motherfucker to open up. his trust is very hard to gain but is necessary for working with him – he places his full trust in his comrades and demands the same from them. very work-oriented and takes relationships very serious; it’s really telling that he cares little for romance because capricorn venuses are the ones to date to marry, and will only devote themselves to someone once they believe they’ve met the one. they either want a more powerful and mature partner or they exude that energy (levi is the latter). slightly parental – we see this in the way that levi is pretty much the dad figure. it’s called squad levi for a reason, after all. very responsible. takes care of loved ones and often uses tough love as a form of discipline.

Eren Jaeger - im not even kidding with this one, he has extreme aries energy

sun in aries - eren feels the need to be very independent and he hates whenever he has to depend on mikasa and others, wanting to be strong enough to reverse the roles. he’s very self-confident, bold and direct. very impulsive, he’s quick to anger but is also very quick to forget - especially seen with his arguments with jean, fighting him is basically a love language at this point. aries suns are very fast thinkers and their strong energy may come off as intimidating. they have great intentions but that often becomes muddled with their impulsivity and the fact that they don’t think ideas through. eren is unabashedly himself and fights relentlessly for what he wants. his aries energy also makes him extremely motivated! he believes in the impossible and will make it happen no matter what.

aries rising – aries risings are the trailblazers. they ooze intensity. eren has very much a baby face and, due to his impulsivity and childish charm, people tend to baby him a lot – in the sense that he’s this kid surrounded by adults who needs supervision at all times or he’ll get into deep shit. aries risings are also marked by their extreme need for action, they’re the ones to do now and apologize later instead of asking for permission to do something in the first place. he is guided by his passion and is a natural leader who inspires everyone to fight alongside him. aries risings have a lot of energy which they need to express in a physical way, making them be prone to be very athletic and lead very active lives. he’s also extremely competitive and is driven by the force of becoming stronger than mikasa, and often feels angry when he realizes how stronger than him other people can be. at the same time, this pressure to be better is put solely on himself. he’s a dumbass with a good-heart and pure intentions.

moon in sagittarius – all this motherfucker talks about is freedom and seeing the world past the walls. he craves adventure and is extremely optimistic. but even if a sagittarius moon needs their freedom, they are still absolutely ride-or-dies and once they’ve commited to something, NOTHING or NO ONE can stop their determination. these are also the people to try their best to always appear cheerful and full of determination to hide their sad façade – like when he was nearly vomiting when talking about the titans to the other recruits when they began the training in the military but still forced himself to say that the titans aren’t scary at all and that they aren’t a big deal; he naturally inspires others and fills them with courage. but the way they put on this strong and brave façade leads to a strong emotional turmoil, violent urges and a sudden hostility to others. they are filled with surpressed anger that can lead them through very destructive paths – and the happy-go-lucky child might just lose her hope. we see this in eren in the most heartbreaking way.

mercury in aries – LOUD!!! eren speaks what’s on his mind with NO hesitation whatsover. he’s very quick to defend his friends and points of view, and speaks openly about his passions and dreams. he’s very assertive and tenacious. short attention span and not afraid to give a different opinion from someone else’s. very passionate about what he argues about. very expressive and when an aries mercury disagrees with you, you’ll know it immediately by their facial expression. confident and thrives on inspiring others. remember him being mad when it was discovered the possibility of all titans being humans because now he didn’t know who the enemy is and he NEEDS to hate someone and blame them in order to keep going? ARIES MERCURY ENERGY!!

mars in aries - people look to mars in aries to lead them. they’re full of energy and dynamic, and very athletic - eren exceeds at hand-to-hand combat and, in the other subjects where he’s not so good, his determination makes him push forward and become better. VERY hot-headed and confrontational, which is both the source of all their problems and their strength - they are not afraid of going after what they want and are willing to go through any obstacle to do so, and they’re also not afraid of upsetting other people in order to do so. eren is courageous, loves to take initiative and is very enthusiastic - something that is very contageous. competitive and hates compromise, he likes getting his own way. aries mars are also very individualistic and can have a huge ego.

venus in pisces - i know this is going to confuse a lot of people - like, how does he have so much aries energy, how is he so intense yet has one of the softest venus placements? i deeply believe he’s a pisces venus, and here’s why. his friends are EVERYTHING to him. pisces venus’ love very deeply and are very dependent on their loved ones, and eren is extremely protective of his loved ones and is willing to do anything to protect them. pisces venus’ are very vengeful, too, something that people seem to brush off about them - they might not do anything when you mess with them but as soon as you mess with their friends it’s game over. i also get a lot of “there was no other way, the word had to be fixed” vibes from this placement? like, this placement gives me the energy of someone willing to commit awful crimes under the excuse of it being for the greater good, which is something he dramatically experiences as he grows older and witnesses the cruelty of the world.

Armin Arlert

sun in scorpio - armin very resourceful!! he easily adapts to the circunstances he’s in and works his way around it. very intelligent and with great memory. extremely manipulative, cunning and perceptive. scorpios are known for their capability to be great investigators due to their natural curiosity, and armin has this deep need to see the world outside of the walls and he studies all there is to know about it with great passion. determined to succeed. 

cancer rising - armin just wants to achieve his dream and it’s so soft. cancer risings are very receptive of other’s emotions and incredibly sensitive, but it’s difficult for them to open up to others. his appearance is very soft and delicate. loves to help others and has a naturally warm presence that makes others feel comfortable in his presence. give off a very grounded and stable energy, but this is often because they try to hide their most intense emotions and don’t know how to deal with them/don’t want to bother others by opening up about it. 

moon in pisces - one word: EMPATHY!!! very compassionate. tendency to become a martyr and be very self-sacrificial. VERY imaginative, he is the strategist, after all. can feel others emotions and read them very easily. avoids confrontation but feels a strong need to take the weight off of others’ shoulders and to solve all their problems. very loving and giving, in tune with his emotions and emotionally intelligent. on the other side, this caring side of him can make him see other people through rose-colored glasses, and he is prone to believing in the best in people and giving them the benefit of the doubt. but when they’ve proven their true nature to him, he’ll see them for what they are and will no longer defend them, even if still feeling remorse. notice how he’s always like “this had to be done, we had no other choice” to justify his actions.

mercury in scorpio - bro armin’s eyes are so intense. when he gets on his manipulative bullshit it’s IMPOSSIBLE to look away from his gaze. he practically communicates through the eyes. armin is very sharp and his innocent appearance has everyone still thinking of him as a sweet angel as if he isn’t a whole war criminal. he easily psychoanalizes others to know what they want and uses it to his advantage, like how he used berthold’s love for annie to manipulate him to let eren go after him and reiner kidnapped him. scorpio mercuries be knowing shit, they be knowing everyone’s secrets and others usually confide in them as if they’re their therapists. 

mars in pisces - mars in pisces makes a person avoid physical confrontation at all costs. notice how armin’s first response to everyone wanting to kill reiner and bertold/the marleyans was “please let’s just talk about this first”? he hates violence and deems it not worthy most times. he is very physically weak and aware of his limitations, unlike eren and levi, whose first instinct is to use violence in order to get what they want. no, armin has developed a much more subtle and effective way to get what he wants without using violence: emotional manipulation. he is the KING of appearing innocent and naïve and having people feel bad for him and want to baby him and protect him, and due to his extremely intuitive nature, he knows EXACTLY what to say to someone to get under their skin. he twists his words and emotions to get what he needs out of people and it’s both incredible and dangerous. also, very self-sacrifical and his goals are based on his emotions.

venus in cancer - he loves so much and it’s so beautiful and heartbreaking. he gives everything to the ones he loves and thrives off of being helpful and keeping everyone safe. reads a lot into the behaviour of the people he loves. very emotionally intelligent, wants stability and to maintain peace and may bend over backwords to achieve that. needs to feel understood and has a soft spot for troubled people, those who are more demanding and assertive (eren and mikasa), people he can take care of and who can take care of him in return. very affectionate and communicative. warm presence, you can pretty much feel the love radiating out of him. 

Mikasa Ackerman 

sun in aquarius - if you get past the emotional walls of an aquarius that has them appearing detached and distant because they’d rather use intelligence than seem emotional, you’ll be met with an incredibly soft, loving and caring person. an aquarius strength is their ability to be very unique, individualistic and humanitarian individuals - they truly march to the beat of their own drum. mikasa possesses a great deal of determination and isn’t afraid of being rebellious, especially when her loved ones are in danger. 

capricorn rising - people with capricorn rising had to learn to be very independent from a very young age. mikasa is very intimidating but she has a very doll-like beauty, common to many capricorn risings. these people have had to deal with a lot ever since childhood, but they are fighters and their determination has them being able to survive even unsurmountable odds stacked up against them. capricorn risings tend to be serious and disciplined, and with a melancholic aura to them – which mikasa perfectly embodies. but the fact that these people have cancer in their descendant makes them strongly emotionally attached to their loved ones.

aquarius moon - even under the most stressful and dangerous situations, mikasa always remains in control of her emotions. she thrives in those situations, it’s the adrenaline of the moment that has her being so good at controlling her emotions until it’s safe to be anything but racional again. aquarius moons are feel very misunderstood and tend to racionalize their emotions a lot. however, it’s only due to their fear of vulnerability that they build this emotional walls, because they experience very intense emotions. i always think about that survey corp member saying “what did you have to go through for you to be like this?” when she was perfectly stable in a life-or-death situation. 

mercury in capricorn - mikasa is incredibly action-oriented and she speaks in a structured but confident way. although she’s on the quieter side and is reserved, she’s able to inspire everyone when all hope seems lost, and she’s taken up eren’s words of “if we don’t fight, we can’t win” and uses it constantly in order to keep going. she’s very hard to read due to her usually expressionless face, giving her a mysterious aura. she’s very ambitious, persuasive and determined. 

mars in capricorn - when people say that mars in capricorn people are the scariest when they’re angry, they’re not wrong. they act so calm and collected until suddenly they’re fixing you with a death glare and you’re rethinking all your life choices up until this point. mikasa might be extremely rational and calm, but as soon as someone threatens the ones she loves, she’ll stop at nothing to eliminate the threat. it’s like she fears nothing but ever being unable not to save them. she’s very responsible and reliable, with a lot of physical strength and stamina. very PROTECTIVE, grounded and GIVING 

venus in virgo - this is one of the things that makes mikasa so similar to levi, the way they love. this bitch is LOYAL to her very core. she knows very well where her loyalties are - eren and armin - and is ready to kill all her close friends and superiors in order to protect them. she threatened to kill historia if she got in the way of getting eren back home safely, jumped levi on sight when he wanted to save erwin instead of armin, and got pissed at connie for doubting eren’s intentions after the whole marleyan ordeal. acts of service are very much her love language - she constantly picks up eren’s and armin’s stuff and carries it herself or orders them to rest while she works. it’s very hard to gain her trust and loyalty but once you do it’s forever, she’s very selective about the people she cares for. she’s possessive, too - giving historia the coldest death glare in the world when she saw her with eren. i’ve also noticed that venus in virgo are very difficult to declare their emotions!! they’ll just wait for the person to notice their indirect acts of affection. very attentive to the needs and details of loved ones.  

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin #levi #levi ackerman #eren #eren jaeger #eren yeager #mikasa #mikasa ackerman #armin #armin arlert #birth chart analysis #astrology

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

What's your opinion on Padmé falling in love with Anakin while knowing that he killed a bunch of tuskin people and how he technically can't be in a committed relationship? Do you think it makes her an immature person or just someone who made the wrong choice?

Different anon:

Aaaah, I have a bit of a complicated relationship with Padmé. I dislike her as a character - as in, I don't particularly enjoy seeing her onscreen - but I try not to let that affect my opinion on her moral character. (I mean, I absolutely adore Dooku but I'm aware that he's a piece of shit, and I'm not really into the OT but I am aware that Luke and Leia are objectively shining beacons of goodness even if I'm not really interested in them.)

So since I kinda dislike her - again, based purely on personal taste, and I do genuinely recognize and appreciate her bravery or kindness even though I skip the Padmé-centric eps/scenes given the choice - I don't really think about her, or talk about her, except in the context of Anidala. (And that's because it's often brought up when talking about the Jedi Order, the one thing I'm much more interested in.)

Hence, I have to honestly say that I don't entirely know how she was intended to be understood. I do think at least some of the issues with the discrepancy between her morals and her behavior can be attributed to clumsy writing. If I had to go and hazard a guess as to how we were meant to see her behavior, it'd be blinded by love ('her judgement clouded by her emotions,' to use the appropriate Star Wars term), and somewhat selfish - but I certainly don't think Lucas meant for her to be a self-centered oblivious monster.

Regarding her telling Anakin he's breaking her heart, I disagree with the interpretation that it was because he was advocating for fascism now, and that was worse than what he'd done. I think it's simply that she was in complete denial up to that point - she didn't believe that he had killed the younglings, because she couldn't believe it (and she could still lie to herself about it because Anakin wasn't admitting to anything up to this point, just saying vague stuff about his powers and saving her). But then he says "I have brought peace to the Republic," and she just can't deny the truth any longer, and that's what makes her back and way and change her mind. It's not that fascism is worse than slaughter, it's that Anakin spewing bs is what opens her eyes, and so it's fascism and slaughter hitting her in the face at the same time.

The issue of the Tuskens is a more complicated one - though believe me, I have ripped into her often enough about it. But what are we meant to understand? That she takes Anakin at his word and thinks the Tuskens are indeed animals? That she just refuses to delve too deeply into the implications of Anakin's actions because she cares about him and she doesn't want to see his life ruined, and so she purposely blinds herself to reality?

I honestly don't know.

I don't know what we were meant to take away. I don't know how Lucas and Co wanted her to be read.

But if you're asking me how I read her...

My understanding of her marrying Anakin despite the rules is that she doesn't get the Order's rules, and so both her and Anakin convince themselves that What They Are Feeling Isn't Wrong (which, true, their love in and of itself isn't wrong) - when it's not the issue with their marriage. I think it was terribly near-sighted of her to marry him (in regard to her own career + the issues it raised regarding the Jedi's neutrality) and disrespectful to the Order as well (which again, I don't think she really understands). As Senator, she has some degree of power over them - so her flouting their rules and marrying one of their apprentices (not even a Knight) really rubs me the wrong way. She could have - should have - asked him to leave the Order for her, instead of accepting to live in secret, and he probably would have done it if she'd been the one asking. (And yeah, "but how could she ask that of him?" - well, Satine couldn't ask that of Obi-Wan so the two of them didn't get together - conundrum solved.)

Also, not disclosing such a connection to anyone - in the middle of a war - was beyond irresponsible. Irl, a high-profile member of government marrying a general during a full scale conflict and not telling anyone would get their asses in SO. MUCH. TROUBLE, and justly so. (And Padmé and Anakin's relationship ended up being a huge liability in the war on multiple occasions).

Her attachment to Anakin blinds her to who he is, to her duty, and to everything that truly matters. She is willing to overlook things she should never have let happen - like the whole situation with Clovis. Can you imagine the political shitshow that would have caused? You have the Senator of the planet the Chancellor is from manipulating her ex - the head of the neutral Banking Clans - with her current Jedi love - a member of the politically neutral Order the Senate oversees - shadowing them both and eventually beating the crap out of said ex. What would that look like? Are the Jedi influencing her? Is the Chancellor using her connection to Clovis? Is she the one influencing both the Order and the Banking Clans to profit her planet, with the approval of the Chancellor? We know it's not what's happening, but it could have led to a complete catastrophe, and she did nothing to safeguard herself against that.

Or when she traded Anakin for Grievous without telling anyone. That was a political nightmare as well, not to mention highly unethical.

So all in all, I don't know how much we were meant to criticize her for all of it, and how much we were meant to empathize with her. Since I personally don't like her, I had a hard time feeling sorry for her most of the time - except for when Anakin scares her or physically hurts her - but that's my own bias. I don't think she's a bad person - or at least, I don't think the worst implications of the way she was written were intentional. (Like how she waited eight months to tell Anakin she was pregnant, since RotS happens over a week max.)

I don't agree with bashing her, or tearing her character down completely, since I don't think that's what we were supposed to take away, but again I don't really know. But to sum it up: to me, Anidala was a gigantic mistake on many different levels, for many more reasons than just Anakin being a Jedi.

#ask #anonymous #padmé amidala #anakin skywalker #anidala #anti anidala #kinda #tusken raiders #sand people #sw talk #meta #more like me ranting #long post

[slightlyrebelliouswriter23]

https://matthewfairchildfanclub.tumblr.com/post/622613826051932160/okay-im-ranting-because-i-started-re-reading-the

What do u think about this? I'm kinda struck. I didn't read it that way? It didn't feel ooc to me? I am just stunned how many ppl agree with this because...thar entire thing was cardan and jude being dumb and sad and... Jude is a strong protagonist and ever scheming and persistent but she's...like human? She has feelings and is allowed to be sad??? Idk it's just strange to me

okay first thing's first: i'm not trying to start beef with OP (or anyone who agrees with OP). that is their opinion. they're allowed to have it. Jude and Cardan aren't real, but the person on the other side of that blog is.

second. i really only briefly skimmed the post because, honestly, it's the same argument i've seen everyone who doesn't like QON make. they think because Jude wouldn't burn down villages to get back into Elfhame after having her heart broken, she is, therefore, OOC.

let me tell you why i, personally, disagree with that statement. (TW: discussion of mental health and dissociation under the cut)

i'm going to split this into two parts. one is more anecdotal and the other is more character based.

as you point out, nonnie, Jude is strong. she is fierce, she is determined. but again, she is human. with human feelings. teenage human feelings, at that.

anyone who is not convinced Jude would feel pretty shit for a while after going through her first heartbreak is either too old to remember the rollick of teenage emotions mixed with the legless lord of young love, or they've simply never had their hearts broken before.

if the first, they're looking at Jude's situation with years of maturation behind them, years Jude doesn't yet have at that point. i think people forget this sometimes. Jude is just a teenager. and they probably want her to keep fighting because it's what they didn't do, but wished they had.

if the latter..... oh, my sweet summer child.

when i was young and in love (kind of) and then suddenly had everything ripped away from me within the span of a month, i honestly couldn't tell you what happened that summer. because i don't remember. i was backpacking but all i remember is sleeping well into the afternoon almost every day. lashing out at my friends for stupid shit. not eating. taking every chance i could get to isolate myself. being fine one moment, then in the next feeling like i was going to burst into tears out of nowhere. i had my first dissociative episode. it lasted for three days.

now, i'm probably not as scary as Jude. but i'd like to think i'm stubborn and spiteful enough to warrant some shadowy semblance. what i became was not who i or anyone else wanted or expected me to be. i wanted to be angry and rage and seek revenge, but i couldn't. people expected me to get over it, but i didn't. i was just stuck in this awful liminal place.

heartbreak isn't a single moment where your heart is shattered and then you immediately begin to pick up the pieces. that's unrealistic. heartbreak shatters you and then steals what's left away into a dense fog and laughs as you fumble around blindly on your hands and knees, searching for the lost pieces of yourself.

so, as nonnie pointed out, it is okay for Jude to be sad. it is more than okay. it's what we should expect.

okay, now on to my character based argument. to me, anyone who has this interpretation of QON has severely misjudged Jude's character throughout the series as a whole.

it's true, Jude might put on the facade of tough scary lady with sword–and sure, to a certain extent that is part of her. but Jude is not inherently wicked or menacing or unforgiving, even if she can be at times.

just because we can be a thing doesn't mean we are that thing. mere adjectives simply do not have the breadth to define us, your honours. we exist in multitudes, or however the fuck that Walt Whitman quote goes.

i'm not going to comb through the entire series for moments where Jude is not scary or menacing because, frankly, there are a lot. if you're not actively looking for the moments where she is terrifying, i think you'll see her kindness, her gentleness, even at times her grace, quite plainly.

i'd also like to point out that the times in which Jude is any of those scarier things are all when she is literally terrified for her life. it's a survival tactic. be scared or be the scariest thing in the room. easy choice from where i'm standing.

now in terms of Jude's exile, Cardan is a little dumb here, but not in the fanon himbo Cardan way. just in the normal "dude madly in love" way. by exiling her to the mortal world, he thought he was giving her what she wanted: safety and a clever riddle to solve. because she can't break, right?

he also sent her away for selfish reasons. her safety was more absolute in the mortal world and he couldn't risk losing her again. plus, he wanted to show off his cleverness, smug prick that he is.

but what Jude actually wanted were the things he promised her in his vows: to be the Queen of Elfhame, and, ultimately, him. she wanted a place to call home and Cardan by her side. he took the only things she truly desired in the world away from her by exiling. so yeah, homegirl has every right to be sad.

to close, i think people with this perspective of QON have the same view of Jude as Cardan once did, and it comes from a place of well-intentioned misunderstanding. he thought she could not break. so did the anti-QON crowd.

they were wrong.

–Em 🖤🗡

more thoughts on Emotional!Jude

more theories & analysis

#for legal reasons this is my opinion 😙✌️ #you don't have to agree w me #ahhhh this was a big long ramble more than actual analysis but whatever i'm tired and it's shark week #thanks for the ask nonnie!! 💜 #asked and answered #em answers #nonnie #tfota #jurdan #jude duarte #cardan greenbriar #holly black

[peaceisadirtyword]

Fate (Ivar/Reader)

A/N: Hello!🥰 As I said here’s the first fic I wrote about season 6B. I already loved Ivar but his evolution during this last season made me love him even more (I didn’t know that was possible). And I was dying to write for him (I even have a series planned, but I’ll wait until I’ve finished Move On and maybe Hate to post it. 

This one will only have 2 parts, next one will be posted maybe tomorrow! I really hope you like it, and that I have captured this “new Ivar” well enough! And, of course, this contains spoilers for season 6B!! so if you haven’t seen it yet don’t read it!😅 

I was going to post this one earlier this week but I had a pretty big exam today and I was exhausted. So next part will be posted maybe tomorrow or on Sunday!☺️

Also, thanks to @ivarhoegh for reading this before and telling me her opinion🥺🙏🏻 I hope y’all like it and enjoy the reading, thank you!

Warnings: mentions of sex, alcohol and violence, Ivar might be a bit out of character, my bad writing (?) not much! 

Words: 3459

gif belongs to @therealcalicali​

You knew he'd be back. The Ragnarssons would always go back to Kattegat. For some reason, you had the feeling he would be back soon and not with the Rus. 

A single boat, a Rus boat, which meant he didn't betray them or escaped from Kiev. Hvitserk came with him, of course, that made you smile softly. Hvitserk would always go back to him because he loved his little brother but didn't even know it. 

People booed, spat and yelled insults at them as you watched, silently, standing at the end of the crowd and rolling your eyes at the insults. You knew they'd be laughing and toasting while yelling their names very soon, as they always did with their father. 

Ivar had changed. He looked much more calmed, not so tense nor ready to attack to the first person that angered him. He had a huge scar on his angelic face, you frowned at it, angry at whoever dared to hurt his beautiful features. He had changed a lot. Of course, you had seen him at the battle against the Rus, but then you ran away from him, not even thinking about trying to fight him. 

You watched as Erik lead them to the Great Hall, where, you supposed, they'd meet King Harald. 

"Fucking traitors" someone spat next to you, making you raise an eyebrow and turn around to look at him "We should kill them and leave their bodies to the wolves" 

"Now that's no way to speak about the sons of Ragnar, is it, Einar?" You bit your lip to hold back a smile. 

"Their father would do it if he was here" he scoffed "They betrayed us all" 

Sighing, you started walking back to your little house, not far from the Great Hall. Seeing him again had been maybe too much, and you needed some time to yourself. 

Einar stopped you, though, taking your arm. 

"Will I see you tonight?" He licked his lips. You frowned softly, not really in the mood to see him. Some days ago, you'd said yes, opened the door to your house for him and then have sex until you passed out, but now Ivar was back and that changed everything. 

"I'm tired" you smiled apologetically at him "Maybe some other day" 

Einar sighed, but nodded. He was an asshole sometimes, but at least he respected you. 

Inside of your house, you started the fire on the fireplace to warm the house a bit as you took off your clothes. You had no intention of going back outside, so you'd eat something and get into bed. With some luck, you'd get some sleep. 

A part of you wanted to think you'd never see Ivar again. Even if it hurt, after seeing him every single day since you were both kids, it would have helped to forget him, but then again... Would you ever forget him? Not even so much time apart, since he left Kattegat when Björn took it until he came back to Norway with the rus army, had made you forget him. In fact, you'd swear your feelings were stronger than ever. 

But it was exhausting. To search for those ocean eyes, wishing and praying to have them look back at you even if it was for a second, to go to sleep thinking about him and wake up thinking his face was the first thing you wanted to see. You had always been there, looking at him when everyone else looked at his brothers, fighting alongside him to avenge his father, conquering York with him, and going back home with your king, he always was your king. 

Your parents were always worried about your unhealthy obsession with the youngest Ragnarsson. At first, they thought it was only a stupid crush, but as you kept growing and your feelings didn't disappear, they realized it was serious.

Then you heard that Ivar had sex with Margrethe, that pretty slave that had his older brothers pursuing her, and you were so devastated that you searched for comfort anywhere. And you found it on his brother Hvitserk's arms. 

You never regretted losing your virginity to Hvitserk, he was a good lover even if he didn't really remember your name the day after. 

Your parents left Kattegat when Lagertha was queen, disagreeing with the way she killed the former queen, Aslaug, Ivar's mother. You know how much he loved his mother, how close they were, and your heart ached for him as he lost both his parents at the same time. 

So you joined the army and sailed to England to avenge Ragnar. Always fighting by his side, always watching his surroundings, killing every single person that dared to get close to him. And learning that, like his brother, he'd never remember your name, because he was a prince, a son of Ragnar Lothbrok, fated to be a legend like half of his family was, and you were just a girl, the daughter of a seamstress and a warrior that learnt to fight for her prince knowing she would never become his princess. 

Then he became king, and took a queen. You still remembered how much it hurt to see him looking at her like that, how broken your heart was when he announced he'd marry her, and that they would have a child. You tried to hate Freydis, but you couldn't hate someone who made him that happy. You didn't want him suffering the same way you did for him. Ivar was special, and he deserved to be loved and happy. 

You could have left, escape Kattegat and never look back, but you couldn't. And it broke your heart when he did leave. 

Now he was back, and you were still the young girl in love that would fight an entire army of Christians for him. 

_______________________________________

King Harald was throwing a feast. It surprised you, as you didn't think the king would be so keen to throw a feast for Ivar the Boneless, former king and the source of most of his headaches. 

You wore a dark red dress your mother had sent to you, with your hair  barely braided and some kohl on your eyes. You never dressed for men, you couldn't care less about men's opinion about you, but you found yourself wondering if Ivar would notice you. It was like going back to being sixteen, trying to catch his attention without him knowing you were trying. 

It had been a long time since you stepped into the Great Hall for the first time. You didn't really attend the feasts when Björn was king, you were somewhat angry at him, at his family and his men. They were the reason Ivar left. 

And you probably wouldn't have attended this feast if you hadn't known for sure he would be there. 

He sat on king Harald's table, with Hvitserk sitting at the opposite side of him. The king, his wife and Erik sat facing the crowd. It was a weird feast, people didn't sit down and many chose to eat while standing. It was also awfully quiet, and everyone eyed the main table suspiciously, as if they were waiting for Ivar to stab king Harald at any second. It wouldn't have surprised you if he did. 

Einar drank horn after horn of ale next to you. Sometimes, he'd stop laughing with his friends and mutter some insults to the Ragnarssons, but not too loud. Not even Einar was foolish enough to insult the Ragnarssons in public, especially Ivar. 

You hadn't said a word. It felt familiar to stay silent, drinking and eating quietly and sneaking glances to Ivar sometimes as you had done your whole life. He had changed a lot, you could see he wasn't as defensive as before, his eyes didn't scan the room expecting to find someone laughing at him. But even if he was surrounded by people that probably would love to cut his throat and throw his body into the sea, he looked relaxed, making small talk with the king sometimes, as if he had everything under control. 

Suddenly, everything went quiet. Ivar looked at the crowd for the first time, his hands rubbed his lips as everyone stared at him and his brother. He could feel the resentment on their eyes and, for a moment, his eyes fixed on you. 

His eyes widened softly when he recognized you, but you looked away before you could see it, directing your glance to King Harald, who stood on his feet looking sternly at his people. 

A fake smile curved Harald's lips as he walked closer to the crowd. You barely listened to him, even if you kept your eyes on him, almost afraid of letting them wander around to find Ivar again. 

"Ivar regrets the way he ruled here" Harald pointed at him. Ivar didn't even try to look ashamed, looking directly to his brother. Neither him nor Hvitserk seemed to understand Harald's game "He was young, the responsibilities were too great, and he forgot the lessons of his father" 

You raised an eyebrow. Ivar had lost his mind for a woman while ruling, something his father had done too. Men could pretend to be all powerful and great, but women had the true power, the power to make them do unimaginable things out of love and obsession. 

"And his brother, Hvitserk, he never meant to kill Lagertha" Harald continued "How could he ever mean to kill such a goddess?"

Hvitserk never meant to kill her, that was true. You had been the witness to his illness, you had lost the count of how many times you found him, all drunk, drugged and wandering around Kattegat. You gave him food, but he never accepted your help more than that. He wasn't himself when he killed Lagertha, but he never regretted it. 

"They are who they are" Harald kept talking "But they are also sons of Ragnar"

Ivar looked at the people again, this time with a defying glare on his face, nearly asking who would dare to try and kick him out of his own home.

"I don't trust them" Einar clenched his jaw, and you felt his grip on your waist. He was half drunk and that gave him a false feeling of courage. Ivar heard him, and he narrowed his eyes. 

Then someone stood up. A man, whom you had seen drinking maybe too much ale, was standing bravely, looking at Ivar. 

"So tell us, Ivar, is it true you are a God, like you told us?" 

You tensed up, and gasped when Ivar stood up. Everyone was silent, looking at him. He walked until he reached the middle of the room, and he threw his crutch to the floor. 

You closed your eyes, not wanting to see him collapse on the floor. You heard him fall. And suddenly everyone was laughing. You opened your eyes to see him laughing too. 

Just like that, he won their trust again. The music started playing, and the mood in the room shifted quickly. Ivar was still on the floor, looking proud of what he just did, and letting his eyes wander around the room. He found you again, and this time you held his gaze.

__________________________________________

It was hot inside. Einar had reached the point of groping you, trying to make you sit on his lap to lift your dress. You managed to wiggle out of his grip and made your way out of the Great Hall. It was overwhelming, especially after all the tension of knowing Ivar was back. You barely slept the night before, and you weren't feeling like celebrating, what exactly would you celebrate? That you would be back to being the stupid little girl obsessed with a prince that wouldn't look at her twice. 

There was a couple of drunk men yelling and laughing when you walked down the streets of Kattegat while trying to get home. Hail Ivar, they yelled, making you raise an eyebrow. They were Einar's friends, and they had been cursing the name of both brothers a few hours ago. Men. 

But as you continued walking, your head throbbing from all the ale you had drank, a voice startled you. 

"I know you" 

You froze. You knew that voice very well, but had never heard it directed to you. 

Ivar was half hidden inside one of the barns. There was a torch next to him, and the dim light made him look even more handsome. You raised an eyebrow, and it took all of your willpower not to start running. 

"You know me?" You cleared your throat. 

"Yes" he pressed his lips together "You're Y/N, aren't you? You're a shieldmaiden" 

He knew your name. The fucking Ivar Ragnarsson knew your name. 

"Yes" you walked closer to him, trying not to stare at him too much. His crutch was leant against the wall next to him, and he had a wooden stick on his hands, in which he carved patterns with one of his knives "And you're Ivar" 

He smirked at you. It made your knees weak. 

"We fought together, didn't we?" His soft voice was like velvet, it was like a gentle caress when you were about to fall asleep "In England, I remember seeing you fight in York" 

You nodded. He tilted his head curiously, his ocean eyes looking you up and down. Those eyes you had always dreamt of. 

"I saw you on the Great Hall and I was surprised, I barely know anyone here anymore" he frowned, looking around "It felt nice to see a familiar face" 

"What are you doing here?" You blurted out. You didn't want to be rude nor make him uncomfortable, and immediately you bit your tongue. 

Ivar smirked again. 

"You mean here in a barn or in Kattegat?" He chuckled. 

"Both" you frowned. 

"I was feeling a bit overwhelmed in there" he shrugged "I needed some air and I needed to be alone for a bit... And, to be honest, I don't know why I am in Kattegat, I just needed somewhere to go, but it doesn't feel like home anymore" he looked at you in the eyes. It was so intense that you had to look away after a few seconds. 

You nodded softly.

"I'm glad you're back" you muttered. Ivar tilted his head with curiosity. 

"Did I kill any member of your family? Should I be careful in case you're planning to stab me?" 

It was the first time you smiled in front of him. 

"No, if you had killed someone I loved, I would have stabbed you long ago" 

He sighed, nodding his head. 

"Fair enough" 

"You did break my heart, though" you whispered, approaching him to lean your back onto the wooden wall next to him. Ivar narrowed his eyes, confused, but didn't say anything. 

"I just remember you were a really good fighter" he shrugged "And that you slept with my brother once" 

That surprised you. You looked at him, flustered. 

"I..."

"I wasn't... I wasn't spying on you or anything" he chuckled "I just saw you sneaking out of Hvitserk's room, I was sitting on the throne" 

"So I made a great first impression, didn't I?" 

Ivar smiled. A genuine smile, not a smirk, a real smile. 

"It wasn't the first impression, I had seen you training more than once, and I saw you when you came with your mother to see mine, I remember she made her dresses" 

Your lips parted in surprise. So Ivar did see you. You always thought he never paid attention to you, that he didn't know of your existence. Knowing you were wrong made you feel a strange warmth on your chest. It was nice. 

"You've changed" you pointed out in a soft voice. He had changed a lot, the Ivar you knew was very different to the one standing next to you. But it was a nice change. You liked it.

"Everyone says that" he raised an eyebrow. 

"Maybe because it's true" 

He shrugged, and his eyes went back to the piece of wood on his hands. 

"Why didn't you stay with the Rus? Why risk everything coming here?" 

"Did Harald pay you to ask me all of this?" He laughed. 

"No" you bit your lip to hold back a smile "I'm just curious" 

He looked at you again, with the ghost of a smile on his lips. His eyes shone under the dim light of the torch, and you felt the need to lean in to kiss his pouty lips. 

"I learnt a lot in Kiev" he muttered "I understood many things, and I met people that marked me forever" his voice had so much emotion that you wondered if he was talking about a woman "But my destiny isn't there, and I had to move forward" 

"So where is it? Your destiny" your eyes lightened up with curiosity. 

"I don't have a clue" he raised an eyebrow, smiling at you softly "I figured I'd come back to where I started, trusting the Gods would tell me what should I do" 

"Have you heard from them yet?" You giggled. 

"No, not yet" he chuckled. 

"Give them time" you shrugged "You're a favorite of the Gods, Ivar Ragnarsson, they'll guide you" 

Ivar looked surprised, and turned his head to look at you a bit better. He remembered seeing you around Kattegat when he was young. Once, after you had been in the Great Hall to give Aslaug a new dress your mother had finished for her, he had told his brothers he thought you were pretty. They teased him for days. He felt a small tug on his heart remembering the playful banter and the teasing. 

He had seen you look at him. At first it annoyed him, thinking you stared at him because of his legs, but then he caught you staring at him more than once the same way the girls stared at his brothers. It helped with his self-esteem, more than he'd ever admit. 

"What about you?" He shook his head. Any feelings you might have had for him were in the past, he was sure, he'd seen you with a man in the Great Hall. 

"I'm afraid my life isn't as interesting as yours" you giggled "I haven't left Kattegat"

"I know very well that things can happen without leaving Kattegat" he raised an eyebrow. 

"I just keep training, and sometimes I go to raids" you shrugged "And I work around here... Not much"

Ivar's eyes flicked back to yours, interested. 

"No husband, no children?" 

You let out a laugh, shaking your head. 

"No one finds me interesting enough to marry me" you sighed "And children? I can barely take care of myself" 

"I find you interesting" he muttered, and for a moment you thought you hadn't heard him right "I mean" he cleared his throat, chuckling "I'm glad to see you're well"

"Thank you, I'm glad to see you're..." You frown, looking at the scars on his face, that seem rather new "Alive" 

Ivar hummed, nodding when he realized you looked at his scar. 

"Thank my dear brother for this" he scoffed. You smiled at him. 

"You probably deserved it" 

He looked at you, surprised, but nodded softly. 

"Yeah, I kind of deserved it" 

Ivar the Boneless admitting he had done something wrong? Wow, you didn't know what had happened while he was with the Rus, but that was a huge change. 

Ivar turned to look at you when he heard you giggling. He liked you, he felt at ease with you. He felt like he didn't need to impress you, as you knew him too well already, but also didn't seem to be angry or afraid at him like the rest of Kattegat. 

His eyes hypnotized you again, they were even more beautiful from up close. 

Without realizing it, you leant into him. Ivar's eyes twinkled as he understood your intentions, and you'd swear he leant into you too. 

"Y/N!" Einar's scream startled you. Ivar turned his head to glare at the drunk man that stumbled down the street, with eyes half closed and looking around "Where are you?" 

You leant back with a sigh. You had forgotten about Einar and how needy he was when drunk. Ivar raised an eyebrow at you, and you took a deep breath, visibly embarrassed. 

"He's... Einar" you groaned "I should go and make sure he gets home"

Ivar nodded slowly. 

"It was nice talking to you then" 

"Same" you gave him your widest smile. Your first conversation with Ivar Ragnarsson had been very different from what you had imagined, but also better. 

"Good night, Y/N" he smirked. 

"Good night, Ivar" 

_________________________________________

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Okay I hope I didn’t forget anyone :( Tumblr doesn't send me notifications and sometimes the asks don’t even appear on my inbox💔 so please if I didn’t add you to the taglist tell me!

#ivar the boneless #ivar imagine #ivar x reader #vikings #vikings imagine

[sage-nebula]

@smallestfish​

I typed about five cellphone screens arguing against this with things in the game, but I accidentally highlighted all but the last couple lines and replaced them with a closing bracket instead of hitting copy. So, heavily shortened, Josh was more respectful to everyone in this game than the first one. He made a bet that the city would sort itself out if it had a few extra lives, moved one or two pieces when it was necessary, and let his opponent paint himself into a corner. Then, either Haz or he could just make it magically better after anyway if things really did go south, and things did, so they did.  Haz was significantly more cruel than Joshua has ever been by resurrecting everyone except Rindo's friends just to watch the kid squirm, and we know he did it with the intent to see how Rindo would react. There's a question to be asked of why Haz only intervened after time travel stopped being an option, and the answer makes Josh look like he's only waiting for Haz and Rindo to quit first and make his intervention actually necessary and good.

Replying this way because typing in the limit-restricted tumblr replies is annoying.

I disagree that the Shinjuku Game is in any way more respectful to anyone than the Shibuya Game. The Shinjuku Game was explicit psychological torture on the Players with no end in sight but their own erasure. The Variabeauties, Purehearts, and Deep Rivers Society were stuck for I believe 30+ loops; that’s seven months. During that time they not only saw other teams erased, but knew that their own erasure could come at any moment, and it’s specifically spelled out in the Secret Reports that this has an averse psychological effect on the Players. Of course, not that we needed that; Fuya, a 27-year-old man, was reduced to hysteric sobbing once he realized that his and his team’s fate was sealed. Motoi was never what you’d call an upstanding person (he was a plagiarist and an art thief), but his facial expressions when his treachery is revealed show that his sanity has been slipping for a while and he, too, is left grasping for any hope of salvation he can find. Kanon outright says she knows the Game is rigged and there’s no hope of winning, but she’s willing to try whatever she can to at least make it fair; it’s pretty clear that this unwinnable Game has been breaking her morale as well. And hell, by week two we see Fret’s optimism shaking as he realizes that the Ruinbringers can snatch victory away on technicalities, so even two weeks in a Shinjuku Game is enough to start wearing down on Players’ psyches, let alone thirty.

In the Shibuya Game, on the other hand, while it’s more brutal in the sense that the Reapers are out for blood (everyone’s gotta eat), anyone left alive at the end of the Week gets a chance to be restored to life or become a Reaper. (Well, most everyone. I think in the OG Secret Reports it’s stated that some are still redistributed into the Imagination of the UG, but for the most part all winners get a chance to return to life or become Reapers.) On top of which, the Players aren’t pitted against each other; they’re allowed, even encouraged, to work together to complete the missions and defeat the Noise. Shibuya’s Game encourages personal growth and development, whereas Shinjuku’s Game encourages competition and, to be honest, psychological torment. Joshua wanted to erase everyone in Shibuya just as Hazuki did in Shinjuku, yes, but his Game is far less cruel to the Players involved, not to mention the Reapers.

But Joshua simply . . . didn’t care about that, for three years. For three entire years he sat back and allowed Shiba to waltz in and dethrone Uzuki as Conductor. He allowed Shiba to disregard Shibuya’s Game in favor of Shinjuku’s. He allowed the Shinjuku Reapers to erase nearly every single one of his own Reapers for daring to speak out against this, to the point where Uzuki and Kariya feel as though their only option is to keep their mouths shut and go along with it, for their own safety. For three years he allowed Shibuya’s Players to not have the chance to grow, to develop, to discover themselves, to question what it is they’d want out of a second chance, and instead undergo literal hell in an unwinnable Game with no idea what they ever could have done to deserve such punishment. (The answer is, of course, nothing. They did nothing to deserve it. They just suffered it anyway.)

The point is: The Composer is the one who creates the UG. He is the one who creates the rules for how it operates, both within the limitations of the Game and otherwise. When Kubo and the Shinjuku Reapers came to call, and Kubo made it known that he wanted to “purify” Shibuya the way that he did Shinjuku, Joshua made a deliberate choice to enter into this Game with him and leave Shibuya to its fate. He flat out says this is his intention in “A New Day”:

Now, while one could try to argue that he was lying here, because he lies a second after this about not caring about Neku anymore (although in my opinion his definition of “care” is still pretty damn selfish), his actions in Neo make it abundantly clear. Joshua could have very easily done what Hazuki did to Kubo three years ago by booting him out of Shibuya and back to the Higher Plane. He could have easily let Uzuki keep her spot as Conductor and protected his Reapers from erasure by the Shinjuku Reapers. He could have very easily just returned Neku to the RG (thus protecting him from the Shinjuku Reapers / Kubo) instead of locking him in the remains of Shinjuku. He could have very easily done all of this and it would have been within his rights because whether the Higher Plane likes it or not, Shibuya is still his city and he didn’t technically break any rules by choosing not to go through with the purification. Whether Shibuya was purified or not was his call, even if they didn’t like his choice. It’s the reason why Hanekoma is in angel jail and Joshua is not.

But he didn’t. He chose not to. I’ve seen some speculate that this was due to Higher Plane politics, that Joshua wanted to show the Higher Plane that Shibuya was worth saving because it had citizens who could stand up even against angels and win. He wanted them to see what he sees in Shibuya. But even if that was his intention, countless lives were lost because of his decision. Countless people suffered because of his decision. The Variabeauties, the Purehearts, the Deep River Society—hell, even Reapers like Ayano and Susukichi—their erasure dust is partially on Joshua’s hands. He could have prevented all of this and he made a deliberate decision not to. The fact that Hanekoma makes a point in multiple Secret Reports (getting increasingly frustrated each time) that Joshua had opportunity to do something yet chose not to tells us all we need to know about how tied Joshua’s hands were, and the fact is that they were not. Or if they were, the only person who tied them was Joshua himself. 

A few final notes:

1.) My original shitpost was not about Hazuki’s morality or saying that he’s a “better person” than Joshua, but merely pointing out that he did more to save Shibuya (despite it not being his city and not his responsibility) than Joshua did, which is factually true. Joshua did nothing beyond show up for “moral support” for Neku and return Shoka to the RG. (And as far as we know, it was only Shoka. The Variabeauties, Deep River Society, and Purehearts are presumably still erased since they lost the Game.) Even after Neku and the others were perma-erased, Joshua did nothing. He did not intervene. He claims to Neku later that if things got really bad he would have, but again . . . everyone died, the city was on fire, and he was nowhere to be found, so I personally don’t think his word is worth very much here. Bottom line, I’m not saying Hazuki is a better person than Joshua—honestly I think they’re on the same level, more or less—but only that it’s hilarious that he actually took action to save a city that wasn’t his.

2.) For emphasis, Hazuki didn’t have to intervene. Shibuya is not his city. It’s not his responsibility. He could have returned to the Higher Plane to do angel things if he’d really wanted to. He exorcised Kubo for erasing Shibuya once he saw that Shibuya was actually going to be erased because Joshua had saved it once and he was curious as to why, and he couldn’t quite figure that out if Shibuya was gone. But he didn’t have to, and in fact he points out to Rindo that he won’t be able to do so again. But either way, it really wasn’t his job. It was Joshua’s. Joshua just chose not to do it, for whatever reason.

TL;DR:

Joshua let a lot of people suffer and perma-die when he very easily could have prevented it for reasons that are unfathomable even to the Producer (“Does [the Composer] have a plan at all?” — Secret Report #20), and while this was perhaps due to Higher Plane politics and wanting to Prove A Point to the angels of the Higher Plane, that doesn’t change the fact that the suffering and erasure of countless individuals was a direct result of his inaction, or that another city’s Composer had to step in to give the Players a chance to fix the mess because Joshua himself couldn’t be bothered to do so.

#neo: the world ends with you #ntwewy #neo twewy #long post for ts #smallestfish #also Rindo was Joshua's proxy so . . . if Rindo lost Joshua lost #and Joshua STILL did nothing even when Rindo DID lose #HAZUKI had to intervene #quite the contrast to the first game where Joshua joined up in Week 2 to ensure Neku could survive the week #(but also to needle him back to his old ways - or try to. or see if Neku would regress with needling. for science.) #Joshua's such an interesting character but he is not nice or selfless or even good #the only nice angel is Hanekoma #and that is Facts #ntwewy spoilers #neo twewy spoilers

[ouyangzizhensdad]

Phoenix Mountain Kiss and Consent/Boundaries in MDZS

The following opinion, expressed in the recent mdzs controversial opinion thread on twitter, is actually one I’ve meant to address for a while:

Even if most of fans loves the 'stolen kiss scene' in the Phoenix Mountain in the novel, that was a sexual harassment.

People in the fandom, especially those who were introduced first to the novel through cql, have a tendency to criticize the Phoenix Mountain kiss scene, saying it was non-consensual. My problem is not that they are wrong. The kiss is (or starts as, at the very least) non-consensual. My problem with this criticism is that people point this out as if it were a mistake. As if mxtx had meant to write a romantic kiss and had instead fumbled it all up and made it not consensual by virtue of not being woke, not being a good enough writer, or being too influenced by bl tropes. And that readers are too unsuspecting or not educated enough to realize the wrong mxtx committed. 

Here’s my hot take: The kiss is non-consensual because it was written to be non-consensual. mxtx is not trying to pull the wool over our eyes. The reason why we, as readers, can infer that, is because the non-consensual aspects of the kiss are important to the events of the plot, some of themes explored in the book, lwj and wwx’s relationship after wwx’s return, and lwj’s character arc. mxtx uses this moment and its aftermaths, amongst others, to make a point about consent and communication in relationships--one of the central themes of the novel. Shocking, I know. Arguing that consent and communication are a main theme in mdsz: now that's a controversial opinion.

Now, I won’t argue mxtx always manages to develop this theme with utmost finesse. You can critique and disagree with her treatment of the theme throughout the novel (taking into consideration, as well, how it’s not just explored through lwj and wwx’s relationship). That being said, isolating events in the novel like the Phoenix kiss scene to mark them as Good or Bad without considering the context in which they happen and are explored within the novel is just bad literary analysis :/. 

Let’s first consider this simple statement: the non-consensual aspect of the kiss is not accidental--mxtx knew it was non-consensual when she wrote it, and she wasn’t trying to hide that fact. 

By the time we reach the Phoenix Mountain competition, lwj has accepted his feelings for wwx, and that these feelings will not be returned. After all, in the xuanwu cave, wwx took great pains to ‘reassure’ him that he is super-straight-and-totally-would-never-flirt-with-him. Yet, wwx continues to ‘flirt’ with him--tossing a flower at him just before the competition--which we can gather is a source of, um, great torment for him. 

We are not privy to lwj’s thought process leading to the stolen kiss. What we know for certain, however, is how he reacts to and perceives his own actions after the fact.  Through wwx’s unreliable narration, we can still understand that lwj immediately regrets his actions and feels uncontrollable anger towards himself and his lack of self-restraint. While wwx has more complicated and contradictory feelings bout the kiss, lwj clearly sees his actions as wrong and disrespectful. He is scared of what he has been capable of doing unto another person--pushing wwx away the moment he sees him after the kiss. 

The person spun around. It was Lan Wangji after all. However, right now, his eyes were bloodshot, his expression almost frightening. Wei Wuxian was startled, “Wow, so scary.”

Lan Wangji’s voice was harsh, “Go!”

Wei Wuxian, “I just came here and you want me to go. Do you really hate me that much?”

Lan Wangji, “Stay away from me!” [chapter 69]

As readers, we are told that the Phoenix Mountain kiss, nor its implications, is not something to consider lightly. The fact that lwj’s reaction after the kiss is written in, and that it is so intense for someone usually so reserved, or the fact that we learn that more than a decade later he is still ashamed of himself and describe himself as having done something wrong (or, very wrong 很不对 ), all prove that the non-consensual aspect of the kiss is not an accident and is not downplayed as something to expect from someone in love with another person. 

蓝忘机闷声道：“我，那时，自知不对。很不对。” [chapter 111]

I can already hear some people ask: even if it was not an accident, why chose to include a non-consensual kiss between the two romantic leads? if not because it is a bl trope/weird kink, why did mxtx chose to put this in her novel? what do we gain by including dubious consent or non-consensual interactions in our fiction?

The long-short answer is: because the act of crossing boundaries is a very productive story-telling device for any piece of media focusing on any type of interpersonal relationships. Crossing boundaries--willfully or unintentionally--is a source of conflict, internal and/or relational, which can drive the plot forward, shape character development and relationships, as well as be useful for certain thematic discussions. 

Current discourses regarding consent in English-speaking, mostly-western spheres of the web tend to be very polarized, painting people who cross boundaries as bad. The solution presented (i.e. how to not be a bad person) tends to be an invitation for everyone, within any relationship, to constantly negotiate consent verbally and honestly: to constantly disclose boundaries, to constantly ask for permission, etc. While I do not dismiss the value of these suggestions, it is an ideal representative of certain socio-temporally specific cultural expectations of what communication is, how communication should happen, and how relationships should be like, etc.. Human relationships are messy, people are flawed and hurt each other, and we have complex internal lives (for instance, someone might not realize their wants or limits until they are faced with them). Instead of having media show us only a specific type of idealized relationships where boundaries are never crossed, ever, they allow us to explore the implications of boundaries within interpersonal relationships. Or, sometimes, media and fiction just aim to represent or are influenced by this very real part of human relationships, and use it as a way to create conflict within the narrative and relationships (sometimes in a interesting manner, sometimes in a very gross manner).

In mdsz, the Phoenix mountain non-consensual kiss is a two-fold source of conflict:  internal (lwj) and relational. While wwx remains unaware until he and lwj are together of the identity of the person who kissed him, the implications of the kiss ends up shaping their relationship both before and after wwx’s rebirth. 

A source of (unknown) conflict between lwj and wwx after he is summoned back from the dead is the fact that lwj believes wwx is aware of his feelings. But this conflict is further compounded by the fact that lwj has once forced his feelings unto wwx, and is utterly afraid that he would dare to ever do it again. That is why, every time wwx initiates physical contact, or flirts very deliberately with lwj, lwj never goes further than what wwx has initiated. Sometimes, he even de-escalates their proximity or level of intimacy (usually by asking wwx to “ 别乱动”  or, famously during Drunk#2, by literally knocking himself out) --out of fear that he, again, would lack self-control and do something wrong to the man he loved.  He never presumes he has the permission to push their relationship further than what wwx is offering. Without that added source of conflict, would it have been reasonable to expect lwj and wwx to have realized their mutual feelings earlier, even with the issue of lwj not being aware wwx does not know of his feelings?

“In the beginning, the reason for behaving in such a manner was to let Lan Wangji be disgusted with him and kick him out of the Cloud Recesses, and they would never have to meet again, going their separate ways. Lan Wangji couldn’t possibly tell what his real intentions were. Yet, [..] even when faced with Wei Wuxian’s various actions, tricks, and pranks, Lan Wangji never once lost his temper, reciprocating with restraint and courtesy.” [chapter 99]

That is all true, of course, until Drunk 3. Here again, the ghost of the stolen kiss plays a part in accentuating the conflict. Without it, would lwj have jumped to conclusions as quickly? And, plot-wise, the shared perception of wwx and lwj that they have taken advantage of the other is a source of conflict that does multiple things--it gives wwx an incentive to go look at the temple at night to distract himself from his guilt and sadness, instead of going the next day with lwj (at which point jgy would have had perhaps already left) and it keeps wwx in the dark about lwj’s feelings until lxc reveals to him the events of the past he has forgotten. Here again, issues of consent are clearly taken into consideration as a source of conflict, shaping both characters’ motivations and the events of the plot.

Finally, the theme of consent/boundaries is an important aspect of lwj’s internal struggle, particularly in relation to his father’s choices. The kiss is part of his journey. 

It is not coincidental that the Lan motto is “Be Honorable”/”Self-restraint,” and that lwj is presented as the model Lan disciple. This element is part of the context that gives narrative and thematic meaning to the non-consensual kiss. When lwj forces a kiss on a blindfolded wwx, lwj goes against the values he holds dear and the teachings that were imparted unto him--prime internal conflict. 

But what is also interesting, to me in any case, is how consent is the thing that ultimately differentiates lwj’s choices from his father’s. 

How willing was Lan-furen to be saved by Qingheng-jun? to be taken to live in seclusion in the Cloud Recesses? to be married to him? to have children with him? The novel never tells us clearly. However, the novel gives us an idea of how lqr, lxc and lwj perceive their parents’ relationship. For lwj, we are given an insight into his perception indirectly during the following conversation between him and lxc.

[Lan Xichen] spoke, “Wangji, is there something on your mind? Why have you been so tense?”

Of course, in most people’s eyes, the ‘tenseness’ probably looked no different than Lan Wangji’s other expressions.

Lan Wangji’s brows sunk low as he shook his head. A few moments later, he replied in a low voice, “Brother, I want to take someone back to the Cloud Recesses.”

Lan Xichen was surprised. “Take someone back to the Cloud Recesses?”

Lan Wangji nodded, his expression pensive. After a pause, he continued, “Take them back… and hide them somewhere.”

Lan Xichen’s eyes immediately widened.

[…]

“Hide them somewhere?”

Lan Wangji frowned softly. “But they are not willing.” [chapter 72]

Indirectly, we come to understand that lwj draws parallels with his father situation: they both want to protect someone by taking them to the Cloud Recesses, but these persons are unwilling. The unsaid question here is, would I choose to do as our father did? 

The non-consensual kiss is part of lwj’s journey, through which he comes to understand that, despite his strict upbringing and disciplined lifestyle that was supposed to keep him from becoming like his father, he is capable of being his father (or at least who he thinks his father is). He learns that he can understand what sort of passionate feelings could bring someone to do something that goes against not only the wishes of his clan members, but the very wishes of the person they love, for the sake of keeping them safe or for the sake of having them by their sides. And at the end of that internal journey, lwj chooses not be like his father--to put wwx’s decisions and wants and needs first. After buyetian, lwj offers his protection and confesses his feelings--and wwx rejects him. lwj respects wwx’s choice, while still going against his clan to protect him. He brings wwx back to Mass Grave Hill knowing full well that wwx would not survive long the wrath of the four great sects seeking revenge against him, and goes home to receive his punishment.

Overall, what I tried to say in many many words, is that the Phoenix Mountain kiss is not non-consensual by accident. It is not because mxtx is an awful person or is not educated enough, or because she thinks dubious consent is romantic. The fact that it is non-consensual is addressed within the narrative, fuels internal and external conflicts, and is as well woven into the plot structure and the themes of the novel. The kiss is not an outlier element, added to titillate a readership--it exists as an integral part of the novel.

I’m not saying it’s not okay to decide that you do not want to engage with any content that includes non-consensual interactions or dubious consent because that triggers or irks you regardless of the way it is handled. It is totally valid to not personally enjoy or have criticisms about choices mxtx made in exploring these themes, in presenting the internal and relational conflicts around consent/boundaries, or even in the way she decided to write the scenes that figure dubious consent. However, it is not really helpful to divorce an event from its context within a piece of media in order to brand it as either Problematic or Unproblematic, Good or Bad.

Note: Much more could be said about the theme of consent/boundaries in mdzs; this is not exhaustive in the least. 

Note2: Much more could be said, in relation to the question and theme of consent, about: the cultural limitations of Westerners to engage fully with a text written for a chinese audience; the limits of fan translators to fully understand  the nuances and themes of a novel and to communicate them in a different language; about the place dubious consent and non-consensual interactions has had in the romance/erotica genre for a long time, and no, not only because Misogyny or Homophobia. 

#re: controversial mdzs opinion twitter thread #mdzs #mdzs meta #excuse my english lmao #wangxian #this is 2k i'm sorry

[asflametosmoke]

james farrow analysis (+ oliver and richard as they relate to him)

so last night i stayed up until 2 am messaging with my friend about iwwv, and what is tumblr for if not posting your 2 am ramblings. (i’ve streamlined and expanded on them a bit.)

massive spoilers for the whole book under the cut.

(edit: i realize now that the cut doesn’t show up on mobile, sorry 😬)

part i - james farrow + heroism

james’s casting archetype is the hero/lover/prince, but he actually subverts tropes of traditional heroism/heroic characters.

he doesn’t really have classic heroic traits. he’s not really brave, he’s slight of build, he’s intelligent yet manipulative.

he doesn’t really fall in love with the ingenue, wren. he sleeps with her, but more than anything, he does it to make oliver jealous. and i didn’t read his protectiveness of her as something that comes from a place of romantic love. you’re welcome to disagree, of course, because that’s a bit ambiguous, but most of the squad is protective of wren. james isn’t unique there. we see oliver and even richard, in his own way, feeling protective towards her. it’s not really an indicator that he loved her.

he falls into the trope of the hero killing the tyrant (richard), but it’s not a heroic action when he does it. it’s not a noble slaying. it’s the desperate act of a cornered animal.

he has what you might call a “hero complex”, a need to save and protect everyone. but this backfires hugely. his need to protect wren leads to him going into the woods to find richard, which, as we know, ends up with richard dead in the lake. his need to save oliver (and his own guilt over not having been able to save him) leads to the deterioration of his mental state, even to the point where he feels the need to disappear.

part ii - james farrow + villainy [buckle up, this is a long one]

here’s where it gets interesting. there are a lot of moving parts here:

he says he wants more variety on his resume, to not play heroes and lovers and princes all the time.

in gwedolyn’s class, he says he immerses himself in every character he plays, but can’t always find himself again afterwards.

he gets cast as macbeth.

he gets cast as edmund, the villain in king lear.

over the course of acts iv and v, he goes slightly insane.

james’s casting in the role of macbeth is arguably the inciting incident. it’s the root cause of richard going off the rails. it’s also the first time he plays a villainous character (macbeth is the tragic hero, sure, but when i say “villain” i mean it in the moral sense), and it virtually intoxicates him.

being cast in the role of edmund is not, of course, the only thing wearing on his sanity throughout acts iv and v. but it doesn’t help either. he says, “i want to hurt the whole world.” ultimately, this stems from his trauma from killing richard, but it’s no coincidence that he got himself cast as edmund while in this state. he wants to hurt the whole world, as james, and by immersing himself in edmund, he finds rhyme and reason for it.

not only that, but it’s through edmund and lear in general, through the vessel of villainy and tragedy, that he’s the most honest before his confession. in act v, scene ii, he gets drunk and desperately tries to talk to oliver through lear. there’s a lot to unpack in this scene, but here are some of the highlights:

“they’ll have me whipp’d for speaking true; thou’lt have me whipped for lying, and sometimes i am whipp’d for holding my peace.”

i’ve never read lear, so i can’t contextualize this in the play, but it’s very relevant to james. he’ll be punished (sent to prison) for confessing, but oliver can’t take any more lies.

“‘where is the villain, edmund?’ i asked. he smiled crazily and echoed, ‘“where is the villain, edmund?” a pause for punctuation, yes? but not the playwright’s - commas belong to the compositors. “where is the villain edmund? here, sir, but trouble him not - his wits are gone.”’

james isn’t really talking about edmund here, of course. he’s talking about himself, calling himself a “villain” and admitting he’s gone more than a little crazy with guilt and fear (“his wits are gone.”) he thinks he can’t be saved. but his hero complex and archetype are still important here. he’s been deemed the hero for years, and now all of a sudden he’s committed murder. his complex, his need to save everyone that in part stems from the role he’s been given for his whole career, is at war with his new belief that he himself cannot be saved.

“‘no less than all - and more, much more. the time will bring it out!’ he wrenched his arm away and smoothed the front of his shirt, as if he were trying to wipe his hands clean. ‘some blood drawn on me would beget opinion / of my more fierce endeavor.’”

clearly, this is a reference to richard’s death. james knows he’s running out of time, and soon enough his secret will be revealed one way or another. it also shows his guilt: he’s trying to “wipe his hands clean”, presumably of figurative blood, and he thinks he deserves to be hurt for his “more fierce endeavor” e.g. killing richard.

part iii - james + richard + oliver + royalty

princes fall into james’s archetype along with heroes and lovers.

kings fall into richard’s archetype along with tyrants and conquerors.

in the woods, richard repeatedly calls james “little prince”, placing james “below” richard in both literal and figurative stature.

after james’s confession, oliver says “worthy prince, i know’t” to him onstage even though he’s supposed to say that line to camilo.

he’s reclaiming the word from richard, in a sense, and telling james that no matter what he’s done, he’s still a “worthy prince”. he means everything to oliver despite the fact that he’s a murderer, and despite the fact that he himself doesn’t believe he’s noble anymore (though he desperately wants to be). it’s quite literally a love language for oliver, and perhaps the closest he comes to a declaration of love.

part iv - james + richard + oliver + the water [this is also a long one]

richard wants to see james drowned, and oliver is the only one preventing this.

the first appearance of this motif is on halloween, when richard tries to drown james in the lake.

this foreshadows james’s eventual fate. whether or not he truly drowned in the end is, of course, a point of contention. for the purposes of this analysis, i won’t take a position on whether or not james is alive, and i will address it with the same ambiguity that canon gives it. however, regardless of whether or not james is alive by the end, it’s undeniable that he went under the water, and in a sense, it was richard that dragged him under. filippa says, “it was the guilt, oliver.” and once oliver isn’t there to comfort him, enable the two of them to forget richard for a little while, it’s only a matter of time before his guilt weighs him down so much that he feels the need to disappear from his own life. even if he’s not dead, he’s certainly not james farrow anymore, wherever he might be.

james reveals that richard kept pushing him towards the dock. it’s unclear if he really intended to drown james or even push him in the water, but it’s not unlikely that this was his intention.

in the dock scene (act iii, scene i), james tries to dive into the water to save richard’s life, and oliver stops him. but oliver goes into the water himself in that scene (to make sure richard’s dead before they call the police). this parallels how in the end, oliver will turn himself in and falsely confess to save james.

finally, there’s the epilogue. when filippa tells oliver “james is gone”, oliver sees richard’s ghost again. “there he sits, in lounging, leonine arrogance. he watches me with a razor-thin smile and i realize that this is it - the denouement, the counterstroke, the end-all he was waiting for. he lingers only long enough for me to see the gleam of triumph in his half-lidded eyes; then he, too, is gone.”

this is the confirmation: from oliver’s perspective, at least, richard has always, always wanted to drown james. it was certainly his intention at halloween. while to us, it’s unclear whether or not that was his intention at the dock, oliver believes it was. so he sees richard’s ghost again and gets a final confirmation of what he’s always believed. richard, as oliver sees him, is finally satisfied.

but we’re not done. how could i be, without addressing the pericles in the room?

disclaimer: i’ve never read pericles, so as with lear, i’m not going to contextualize the monologue contained in james’s “suicide note” in the play as a whole. that’s a separate analysis, albeit an interesting one i’m sure, for someone with more shakespeare knowledge than me. (although i have read caesar, so i might analyze iwwv and caesar some time in the future.)

“alas, the sea hath cast me on the rock / wash’d me from shore to shore, and left me breath / nothing to think on but ensuing death.”

right from the outset, we see that james might be alive. he’s been “wash’d [...] from shore to shore, and left [...] breath”. the water has transformed him (to use a christian metaphor, almost like a kind of baptism. i think. i’m Extremely jewish so i might be using that wrong.) but not necessarily killed him.

death consumes james’s thoughts, and it likely has since he killed richard seven years earlier.

“what i have been i have forgot to know; / but what i am, want teaches me to think on: / a man throng’d up with cold: my veins are chill, / and have no more of life than may suffice / to give my tongue that heat to ask your help; which if you shall refuse, when i am dead, / for that i am a man, pray see me buried.”

all the life has slowly been sucked out of him since he killed richard to the point where he’s little more than a shell of a man by 2004, so he decides to disappear into the water. again, whether or not he’s dead, he’s clearly not living the life of james farrow anymore, wherever he may be. so he’s disappeared. he may not be dead, but james farrow, the identity if not the man, did drown in that freezing water.

and yet, he has just enough of a will to live, just enough of a desire to be known (and perhaps loved) that he writes this note and puts oliver’s name on the envelope. he’s not ready to drown just yet. maybe the water didn’t care and drowned him anyway. but maybe, just maybe, it saved him.

part v - conclusion/author’s notes

if you stuck around all the way here, to the end, wow. thanks for suffering through my ramblings. seriously, thank you. and congratulations i guess.

i tried to write a tl;dr, i’m sorry, i failed. i know my strengths, and conciseness isn’t one of them.

i do wanna say this, though: james farrow is not a good person. neither is he a bad person. iwwv does not deal in moral absolutes, or really any absolutes at all. and i do feel like we as a reader base and fanbase don’t always do the best job at acknowledging james’s moral complexity. (or oliver’s, or meredith’s, but that’s another post for another time.) this is not a direct callout to anyone in particular, nor is it an attack. it’s really just meant to be food for thought.

#iwwv #if we were villains #iwwv spoilers #james farrow #oliver marks #richard stirling #analysis #tw suicide #tw drowning #tw death #tw murder #tw water

[baebeyza]

Unpopular Opinion: Optimus Prime isn't a very good person and that he's too glorified. (expect TFA Optimus)

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

What can I say except that there are many, many Optimus'/Convoy's out there and making a general opinion on them just doesn't work.

But I couldn't think of any Optimus I experienced who wasn't deep down a good person - lets make a roll call shall we? (includes all shows except RB and RBA + Bayverse)

G1 Optimus Prime - Good person, good leader, good father figure. Is forgiving towards wrong-doers without being a pushover. Couldn't think of anything he does that is sketchy

Beast Wars Optimus Primal - He has a harsh personality, hits Rattrap on the back of his head when the Rat talks bullshit and can get feral against his own teammates when they are being assholes like Depth Charge - but all in all, he is still a good leader and a good person. He simply has a more down-to-earth personality and a no-bullshit attitude.

He only ever reacts angrily because his team do stupid and jerkass stuff, but he is never unreasonable.

When he gets angry, you know why and you get why.

Also, he gave Dinobot a chance as a Maximal two times, so he too has a forgiving nature. And his dynamic with Depth Charge shows that he isn't petty either. ("I don't like him much either, but he's still a Maximal.")

He also had a nice moment with Blackarachnia in which he assures her they won't do anything about her coding against her will and that she is safe with them.

Beast Wars II Lio Convoy - The only thing you could call him out for is for refusing the father role when he found out he has a son. It took him half the show to actually call Lio Junior his son, but it made for a nice story! Also, he was willing to make peace with Galvatron in the show, showing his forgiving nature.

Beast Wars Neo Big Convoy - The shy and awkward one! He's a treat who learns to become a good teacher and leader with the help of his students, and he had this moment in which he tried to save Magmatron's life from Unicron. He is a hero with a strong sense of justice who needed to learn about proper teamwork and friendship and it's a really simple and sweet story.

Beast Machines Optimus Primal - This dude is such a trainwreck and I cannot in good conscious say he was always on the right side of things, I admit that.

The way the show treated the Vehicons was a little sketchy, because the Maximals technically became hypocrits, especially when it was about Silverbolt.

Forcing the "techno-organic is the real way to be" unto the non-organic characters feels a little weird, because the show never properly showed us why being without an organic side is supposed to be so bad. (And this matters because the good vs evil conflict isn't properly connected to the techno vs organic plot).

So this Oppy you can make the point that he isn't all that good as he pretends to be in his preachy cult leader role.

RiD01 Optimus Prime/Fire Convoy - Listen, this is the most naive and cute Optimus out there. This dude was willing to let Decepticons into their base just because they were like "We are good now :)" without even checking first.

His dynamic with his jerkass twin Magnus supports that - he doesn't want to fight his brother! The dude fucking pushes him off a cliff and he still tries to reason with him and doesn't fight back at all!

Don't you ever dare call this Prime a bad person, he's precious! xD

Armada Optimus Prime/Convoy - This is the dude who goes fucking feral at the end and shows just how much hatred and anger a Prime can store - but really just towards the end! The rest of the show he's your typical leader who doesn't do anything bad.

And when he made mistakes, he corrected them.

The fact that he always had this hatred and rage that he pushed aside all the time is the most interesting thing about this Prime, but even that doesn't make him a secretely bad person, because he still doesn't do anything bad. He's just an angry boi.

Energon Optimus Prime/Grand Convoy - This is technically the same Prime as Armada, and for once that shows - that anger Prime showed at the end of Armada is still present here and shows up a few times, especially when it's about Unicron.

But just like in Armada, he doesn't do anything bad.

He even tries to save Shockblast, the jerkiest jerk of the entire show, from Unicron's influence! And did just that with Galvatron at the end as well with the full intend to sacrifise himself to save everyone, including the Cons.

Cybertron Optimus Prime/Galaxy Convoy - My favourite Prime of them all - this Prime is just a damn Papa Bear! He will be considerate and loving towards his men, but if you bully his kids, you'll catch his hands bro.

He's bit a stoic dude, but shows compassion and kindness when he needs to.

He doesn't do anything sketchy either, and lets the few remaining Cons be part of the Transformers society in the end, despite their misdeeds before.

TFA Optimus Prime - The one you say is the only good Prime? Guess so, he's a good person as well! He makes mistakes (like insulting his team) but learns and grows from them.

But mate - he isn't a better person than any of the other Prime's I just listed. The only difference between TFA Prime and the other Primes so far is that TFA Prime is a narrative underdog who you are supposed to feel pity for.

All the other Prime's are leaders in a leader role, so just from a narrative standpoint, you don't feel the same sympathy for them as you do for TFA Prime.

But being an underdog doesn't translate to being a better person. The Joker in the Joker movie is also an underdog, but no one says he's a good person and that everything he does in this movie is justified.

TFA Prime just goes through more harsh shit that isn't Megatron and that's it. He isn't being a better hero or person for that.

TFP Optimus Prime - Yeah, I saw the opinion that him being too forgiving towards Megatron in the past is a flaw and that he cares more about this one silver shark more than about the safety of the universe - to which I say: WHEN???

This is a thing Ratchet accuses him off! But I couldn't remember a single scene in this show in which Optimus does, in fact, let Megatron go when he had the chance to kill him!

They always fought to the death when they did and Megatron surviving wasn't because Optimus was too nice. He's not Son Goku peeps.

And I have my issues with TFP Prime and how his characters is written, but being a secretely bad person aint it. He isn't a bad person.

If this is also about Starscream - he has every right to not trust Starscream. No one should trust Starscream! Starscream doesn't exist to be trusted by anyone.

You cannot call Prime a bad person because he elects to not trust the notorious backstabber, who, as Prime himself as pointed out, only does things for his own gain.

Also, he did try to make peace with Starscream after Megatron's "Death", and Starscream refused.

Is it about him destroying the Omega Lock? Nothing wrong with that! He chose to save Earth and all its Humanity over restoring a dead planet! Dead planet stays dead, alive planet stays alive. No one died by his decision to destroy the Omega Lock - but a whole ass planet would have died if he hadn't.

Like bro - I am not a big sucker for TFP Prime, but all these points I see floating around to prove that he is actually a bad person are kinda weird and biased.

Why should he have given Starscream a chance? To get backstabbed and used??? Which we know would have happened because this is fucking Starscream we are talking about??? A dude who doesn't care about Earth in the slightest and was happy about it being destroyed? Who only cares about power and winning this war, which is why he goes back to Megatron???

Should have sacrifised Earth? Would that have made him a true hero???

RiD15 Optimus Prime - This TFP Prime, just sterner, weaker and ready to start beef. But ultimately still a good guy.

Bayverse Optimus Prime - Here you got a Prime who kills his enemies! For anyone saying that TFP Prime is bad for not killing Megatron when he could, do you at least like Bayverse Prime for doing just that? Three times???

Even though he kills all his enemies, I never saw that as him being evil. He just doesn't give second chances. And it was refreshing to see a hero who actually does get rid of his enemies before they can do more shit.

He aint the nicest bot in town, but in the end he still did the heroic thing.

Movie 4 even gave him an arc about losing his faith in humanity and not wanting to help them anymore, but in the end he still does because his Barn Husband Cade convinces him to.

Good man I say, good man!

Prime Wars Optimus Prime - He tried to stop Windblade from making a mistake that would end in war with an emphasis on Windblade herself - saying that war is horrible and he doesn't want her to go through the same thing.

He then decides to help her anyway when he learns what the stakes are, is giving Megatron a second chance, keeps being on friendly footing with the dude and dies in an attempt to destroy the bad guy.

All in all, a good boy!

Cyberverse Optimus Prime - He forbids his soldiers from taking Energon from a foreign planet because the local fauna need it to survive - he constantly tries to do peace talks and doesn't give up on them - He dances in front of his crew to cheer them up - he shows remorse about what happened to Wild Wheel and tries to make things right again - he holds the dead Megatron in his arms and calls him his old friend-

Nothing bad about this home boy!

War for Cybertron Optimus Prime - he fucks up the whole damn time, but he has good intentions! He's a flawed individual who realises what his mistakes are!

Making mistakes, even as grand as his, doesn't make him a bad person!

So, no - I don't agree that Optimus is bad person and I also don't agree that TFA Prime is a better person than any other Prime.

Almost all these Prime's do good things, protect life, try to choose peace over conflict at least once and have a forgiving nature (even Bayverse Optimus, as he forgives humanity) - that all good guy qualities for me!

What more do you want from him to be a good person? Be nice to Starscream off all people???

Also, what do you even consider to be "too glorified"??? The newest media like WFC doesn't even depict him as a good leader because he fucks up so bad.

#transformer posting #transformer rant #bey's shit

[finalgirlbrainrot]

I have two unpopular opinions 1) if roles were reversed and Dean was the one drinking blood, Dean stans would have excused the shit out of it and even liked it. 2) if none of Dean's trauma was addressed and ignored (like most of Sam's trauma is) Dean stans would fucking riot.

intensely aggressively strongly agree | strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

(sorry in advance, I ranted A Lot)

2) I'm gonna start with this one. YESYESYES I mean dean stans are already constantly unironically whining that dean's traumas never get acknowledged (EVEN THO IT'S LITERALLY NOT TRUE, HIS TRAUMAS ALREADY GET ACKNOWLEDGED MORE THAN ENOUGH. EVERY TIME HE STUBS HIS TOE. EVERYONE IS CODDLING HIM AND ASKING HIM HOW HE'S DOING. HALF THE SHOW IS LITERALLY DEAN MANPAINING ABOUT HIS TRAUMAS - but apparently that's not enough for them, so I can't imagine the uproar if it was actually true). meanwhile sam's traumas either get ignored or they get treated like a fucking joke? well I guess it's just another tuesday

I've also seen a lot of dean stans moaning about sam "forcing dean to talk about his traumas", because apparently sam actually acknowledging dean's traumas and encouraging him to open up about them and being always supportive af because he actually cares is unacceptable (and I'm willing to bet that if he didn't acknowledge them, they'd still complain because sam literally can't win no matter what he does)

but dean ignoring and never acknowledging sam's traumas (not even when he's directly responsible for said trauma) or making them all about himself (mystery spot, hallucifer, soullessness, gadreel possession) or vilifying and victim blaming him (being force-fed demon blood, soullessness, gadreel possession) or using said traumas to justify his actions (hallucifer) or making cruel, disgusting and unnecessary jokes about them ("you had a girl inside you for a whole week" [meg possession] "you know how wrong that sounds, right?" "you've like an episode of teen mom" [gadreel possession - let's talk about how these two in particular are a thousand times more disgusting than the rest since he's actually joking about a violation he's directly responsible for] "smores foot" [bmol torture] "crybaby pie" [cole torture] "you saw the [devil's] john [or butt]?" [the cage] dick of death jokes right, left and center) is perfectly acceptable behaviour

1) again YESYESYESYES. I mean, this isn't even a hypothesis, we already have an extremely similar storyline for dean - the moc - and everyone made excuses for him and glorified him, even tho he was worse than demon blood sam in every possible way

actually I wrote a rant on reddit a couple of days ago about the awful double standards between demon blood sam and moc/demon dean. I'm gonna paste it here because I'm Bitter Af

comparing demon blood sam and moc/demon demon is ironically and hysterically bitter because, logically, no matter how you spin it, s4 sam is much more understandable and easy to sympathize with - both in intentions and actions - and should have the moral high ground, while s9-10 dean was flat out awful and damaging. yet both the show and the fandom crucify sam and treat dean as some poor victim or a great martyred hero who made some great noble sacrifice and I just... don't get it. so let's break it down:

> reason for drinking blood / getting the moc

- sam: exorcising demons without harming the host, thus saving people (which apparently isn't that relevant to dean) and killing lilith, first because she sent his brother to hell and then to stop the apocalypse and because she was an actual threat

- dean: because he couldn't face the consequences of his actions after the gadreel mess and decided he wanted to kill abaddon, who, at that point, wasn't even their problem (she only became a real problem in 9x17, when they learned about the soul harvesting, so unless dean has some sort of prophetic knowledge, he had no reason to take the moc in 9x11) and was a real threat to no-one but crowley

> trusting / working with a demon

- sam: I've already said this before, but ruby was a master manipulator and went to extraordinary lengths to gain sam's trust and even managed to fool every single demon (aside from lilith obviously). as far as both brothers knew, she's done nothing but help them, saved their lives multiple times and helped them save others, fixed the colt for them, was there for sam after dean died, is basically hunted by other demons for helping them, has risked her life for them several times and even got tortured for them and was helping sam to go after the demon who was trying to start the apocalypse. sam had absolutely no valid reason not to trust her. I'd really like someone to look me in the eyes and tell me that, if anyone did everything I mentioned above, you wouldn't trust them

- dean: trusted a demon who they knew is extremely untrustworthy and self-serving and only does what's in his best interest and has screwed them over one way or another every time they worked together and has hurt people they're close to

> level of manipulation involved

- sam: as I already said, ruby was a master manipulator and spent two years carefully manipulating sam to get him to do what she wanted. not the mention everything azazel did to get him there, lilith pushing his buttons at every turn to get him to kill her and the manipulation from heaven as well, who were lying to the boys at every turn

- dean: while crowley was manipulating him, the level of manipulation isn't remotely comparable to the one sam went through is s4. crowley saying “let’s kill abaddon” and pretending to be afraid of cain is not comparable to a plan that’s been set on motion since the beginning of time and crowley wasn't the only one involved in dean getting the mark. cain was involved as well and he wasn't manipulating him (unlike sam, who was being manipulated by everyone involved). on the contrary, he was completely honest with dean and even offered to tell him more about the mark and DEAN REFUSED (like can you imagine how many problems would've been avoided if dean sat on his ass for one minute and listened to cain's warning???)

> actions

- sam: in s4 sam was trying to use something that was forced on him when he was six months old, and that he hated about himself, to do good because he felt like he had to and was literally SAVING PEOPLE and trying to stop the apocalypse, I literally still don't get why he's vilified for it????? in s4 sam killed a total of one (1) person: the possessed nurse and while that was obviously bad, 1) he was clearly upset about it and 2) I still haven't seen one (1) valid reason for why she's any different from the demons dean drained and killed in swan song or from any of the other possession victims they killed with the demon knife or the angel blade

- dean: meanwhile dean was going around murdering people left and right (also another example of fandom double standards: everyone defends moc!dean and demon!dean because "he only killed bad people" - which isn't even true, but let's say he was - and yet, I seem to remember a certain kitsune named amy pond, who was ALSO killing bad people (and not for the lolz of it, but to save her son) and dean killed her and the fandom defended him back then as well. is killing bad people okay only if dean does it?), tried to kill sam, beat cas bloody

> keeping secrets

- sam: keeping his powers and the demon blood a secret was his god given right, since it affected no-one but sam himself and the demons he was exorcising. not to mention, he had pretty good reasons for not telling dean, considering his bigotry, black and white views and judgmental attitude. and yet, he was, and still is, vilified by both the show and the fandom for keeping secrets and dean even punched him for not telling him about his abilities (something in particular about this point that absolutely drives me up the wall: in 4x04 sam accidentally revealed that he knew about what azazel did to him and dean got mad at him for not telling him about it, even tho dean himself found out about it and didn't tell sam and no-one - not the show, not the fandom and not even sam and dean themselves - notices the hypocrisy. they're literally saying that it's okay for DEAN to keeps something about SAM a secret from SAM, but not okay for SAM to keep something about HIMSELF a secret from DEAN. if you don't think that's super fucked up, then I don't know what to tell you)

- dean: no-one says anything about dean keeping the effects of the mark a secret, even tho, unlike s4 sam, lying about the mark directly affected other people and put everyone around him in danger, including sam

> general treatment

- sam: everyone treated sam like a monster in s4, dean straight up called him a monster, told him he'd hunt him if he didn't know him, forced him into a torture-detox that almost killed him, tried to control him and refused to see his point. at the end of s4 sam apologized to dean. in s5 dean repeatedly told him that he doesn't trust him. sam was blamed for everything that happened in s4 and his mistake kept getting brought up even seasons later

- dean: everyone and their mom was coddling him and helping to get rid of the mark. everyone considered the mark to be the problem, not dean himself. sam was unconditionally supportive. dean never once apologized to sam for any of the awful things he said/did to him while he had the mark. sam never once blamed dean for anything that happened in s9-10 and instead placed the blame on crowley and none of the things dean did ever got brought up again

> at the end of each arc

- sam: paid for his mistake by sacrificing himself and jumped into the cage and saved the world and got tortured by the devil himself for centuries

- dean: paid for his mistake by having his mother brought back to life

send me unpopular opinions

#redredwine92 #sORRY FOR THE MEGA RANT YFGEUFYUGY

[brooklynislandgirl]

What do you find romantically appealing about Spider-Man?

Anon-aholics || Accepting {{tagging @wxr-zxne for reference, tagging @tangleweave for relevance}}

Beth is used to interviews derailing at a certain point, it's all old hat. She knew that unless the Bulletin had sent Karen Page to her home to talk about the new animal shelter she was opening up, that sooner or later talk would boil down to glorified gossip. At least the question was mild by journalistic standards, though the interviewer, whose name she already forgot, was neither as poised, as pretty, or as well-spoken as Karen. She makes a mental note to make lunch plans with her soon.

But as she ruminates over the question, Beth can't help the start of a smile. Just thinking about him lifts the sourness in the back of her throat over the question, and she realises it's likely not as titillating as the reporter wants. How do you explain why you love someone when the truth is there’s nothing you don’t, and none of it’s based around his physical presence?

"Off the record? People often say 'oh, there's just something about' and here you can fill in anyone's name, proverbially. Most of the time it's the chemical release of dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin that produces feelings of desire as related to mating instincts, and of course they don't usually recognise it as such. With Spiderman, I suppose it's true, though. There just....is....something about him.

“If you spent any time getting to know him, you’d understand that he has the biggest heart of anyone I know. He worries about hurting other people, including those who would kill someone without a thought. That comes from a place of deep respect for the fundamental right of Life and community. As someone of Pacific Island decent, and a nurse-practitioner, that’s very important to me. “And still, he’s got an amazing sense of humour. I know very few people who could keep up with him, the way a quip can just roll off his tongue but he’s never mean about it. The words he chooses, the kinds of private conversation we tend to have, he lets me see this city and maybe even the world in a different light. To see what is truly good there, what is worth saving, because he sees it that way. That capacity for love is truly humbling. “Even when we might disagree with one another, he never makes it personal and he’s always someone I can listen to, hear out, and I look forward to that. His opinions matter. And sometimes, I just...whenever he’s talking, it makes me smile, even for no reason. When he talks about dreams and hopes, I want him to succeed, and I think he wants the same thing for me. He always knows the right way to encourage me. Our ideals are often well-matched.”

She pauses to take a sip of her coffee. “Still off the record, of course, I’m sure you’re asking for the racier stuff, so I can tell you...it isn’t a sexual attraction but I want to be physically close to him all the time. I like sitting next to him. I like holding his hand while we’re discussing radical politics or what he’s been up to. I like the way his throat bobs when he laughs and it’s the best laugh, or how he sometimes sounds uncertain when he’s doing so. He gets this little nasal tone too. But I suppose you’re not asking about that. Uhm. Oh. His hair, it’s so soft. And a little floppy. It’s entirely possible too that I have a thing for strong jaws and long necks. And believe me when I say from where I’m standing? Everything’s long.” She smiles now and one that is as predatory as it is full. “So that’s what you’re getting. And I did say it’s off the record so if I see a single word of it printed on paper or posted online, I will make it my life’s goal to sue you into non-existence. I have the money, the connections, and my retainer is with Pearson Specter Litt, and Harvey Specter is for all intents and purposes, my god-father. So...Bet.”

#mahalo!Nonnymouse <3 #Ku'uku'u|Spiderman #Webs and Fins|Spidey and Beth #Testaments They Told|Spider-verse #Brooklyn Stories|New York #Honourable Mention|Karen Page #Honourable Mention|Harvey Specter-Louis Litt-Jessica Pearson