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booksandchainmail · 9 months

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Pale 10.4

oooh, I wasn't sure we'd get a Verona chapter this arc

“Can’t show you this one, Tash.” Tashlit, lounging on a beach towel, reached toward her waist and gestured. “No, this one isn’t rude."

I like the unstated "gesture"

Tashlit held up a finger. One. Then the ‘what?’ gesture. “The first most recent email is a reminder from Ding Phones that my prepaid phone account is almost out of funds, please visit the site to top up.”

I'm reminded of a great bit from Bloom Into You where the protagonist is eagerly awaiting a response from love interest, and when her phone pings it's an automated version update notification

“My mom tried to give me the dumbed down explanations but it felt a lot like I was in the way. So I gave the excuse I had to get stuff sorted out. And then we left a couple days after and we stopped in for a visit with her artist friend and I think that was meant for me. Like, she thought I would be receptive and I’d get it and stuff, and it was cool to see the guy’s studio and stuff but like, I’m here and that guy’s alllll the way over there.”

I got to avoid this as a kid: if the people coming over for dinner were family friends who would want to talk with me I would stay, if not I could eat early and then just hang out elsewhere instead of having to stay at the table while conversations went over my head.

“Oh. Disappointed, but not disappointed in me. Maybe.”

disappointed in her own parenting skills?

Verona grabbed her book, flipped back a few pages, and found the image she’d drawn after Tashlit had insisted she would take every art critique seriously. It was rude: a crude and rude drawing of a guy hugging a two-foot-wide boner that came up to the top of his head.

well if all else fails you have a career path on furry twitter

Jeremy replied. I don’t know how to respond except pic just made my week. Have some pics of Sir.

oh big mood, I also start messages with "I don't know how to respond" or something similar. If I wait to try and find words for a good response I just never send it.

“Is my dad going to jail?” The words left her lips before she realized she’d asked. “Is that another priority, Verona? That your dad be punished?” It was subtle. The tone a little cooler than before, less warm. Oh. She’d fucked it. She’d thoroughly fucked it, hadn’t she? Because now the idea was in David’s head. That she’d had an argument with her dad and things had gone wrong and now she was a manipulator or she was trying to get back at him and he was a tool for her to do that.

I can't tell if the child protective services guy is geniunely disapproving, or if Verona is panicking and reading too much into it. Because tone cooling here could mean a lot of things (ie David worrying that things were worse than he thought). If it is that says bad things about him! Honestly my first thought in this scenario (especially Verona was talking about not wanting to move) would be that she was scared of hr life getting completely disrupted by her dad getting arrested.

It's also sad that Verona's first thought on getting a (possibly) negative reaction to a genuine emotion is worrying that it makes her look manipulative or petty, because that is 100% what her dad has been telling her

The way he looked off to one side here and there made her wonder if he felt like his time was being wasted, now. Or misused. He kept taking notes when there wasn’t anything to take notes on.

I think "kid in a protective meeting visibly panics when told their parent won't be arrested" is something to take notes on!

“Sits in bed and sobs and tells me everything I’m doing wrong and everything he’s doing wrong and stuff about my mom.” “Okay. How often is that?” “Two to six nights a week, except when I’m away, or like, not nights but in the kitchen after he gets home from work, he’ll start telling me I didn’t mow the lawn or whatever and then it gets into how much his coworkers suck.”

... that is more often than I thought it was. Six nights a week at max, gods.

“Exacerbated by life circumstances?” he asked. He started to take a note. “Not- no,” she said. She watched him continue to take the note, ignoring the ‘no’. She could imagine that penned down ‘life circumstances’ taking all the heat out of what she was saying.

I cannot tell if Verona is reading this accurately and this guy is going to be useless or not. Leaning towards not because I want to be optimistic.

“The third was- we went shopping and I got on his case, called him a bad dad and stuff. I pushed his buttons on purpose, because I could. And he freaked and stopped the car in the middle lane of a three lane road and made me get out. Cars were honking their horns and passing on the left and right. And I had icecream I’d bought for myself I was too full to eat and it melted while I walked home. I guess that doesn’t count when I think about it.”

I MEAN YOU'RE RIGHT THAT ISN'T TECHNICALLY BREAKING YOUR THINGS BUT IT IS IN FACT MORE WORRYING FOR DIFFERENT REASONS

“When was this?” “Christmas.”

winter in Canada? Admittedly I don't know that much about the weather but that seems hazardous

How could she even put it into words? It was pressure and pressure over years. It was telling her dad about her problems and it never mattering because he always one-upped her, and that added up little by little.

fascinated to see what people have done for Worm-style powers for Verona based on this as a trigger event

“Are you and your dad close?” “No. I think he wants us to be.” “How does he want you to be close?” “Hanging out, watching movies. He’d rather I didn’t see my friends and instead went with him. I think he’s lonely.”

I normally think of this as a red flag in romantic relationships, but it's even more one in a familial relationship

It felt like every time he was making notes, he was taking down the statements or arguments she felt were weakest and most unimportant. Or stuff that made her dad seem more okay than he was. Dad’s lonely, wants to bond with shitty daughter.

I really don't think that's why he's taking a note of it!

And also wow does Verona place the blame on herself all the time. No wonder she has self-esteem issues as part of the Kennet Trio, if this is how her dad has taught her to think of herself

…She wasn’t even sure what she wanted. She wanted to land this entire thing in the zone where she left her dad’s and went to Jas’s. That was the perfect outcome. It’s bad, gotta take this girl out of there, it’s crushing her and making her feel small and broken. So we pick her up and take her… no, that’s too far. Where’s a place we can put her that’s out of the house but not that super far away… Jas’s house!

yesyesyesyesyes. The guy mentioned temporary custody earlier, could that be this?

And even if it wasn’t impossible she couldn’t burden Jas like that, especially if Jas had a job she wanted and no time or money.

this has also been my concern with what is otherwise the perfect solution. Would the government provide a stipend for caring for Verona? It's not like she takes a lot of maintenance time-wise

“Almost died? Tell me about that.” “At this thing I went to at the start of summer. I don’t want to get into it, it…

I think that's the kind of thing he has to follow up on, actually. Verona's dad not wanting more info on this was a red flag, and I don't think Verona recognizes how weird that was

I mean, she can probably pass it off as like an outdoors accident at summer camp (storm while hiking, bridge broke, etc etc) but she should have to at least come up with a story!

“Right now we’re in a middle stage, deciding what the immediate needs are. It doesn’t sound like you need to be removed from the home, and it doesn’t sound like you want to be removed from the home.”

“I want to leave that house. I don’t want to go back,” Verona said. “But can’t I go to Jasmine’s, instead? Can’t- isn’t there a way to-” Breath hitched. She was aware her mom was sitting next to her. “Can’t we- you guys give money to foster parents, right? So couldn’t I go there, and couldn’t, um, you could give her money and I wouldn’t be a burden, and she’s a really good mom to Lucy and she’s lovely.”

the degree to which Verona is breaking down in this conversation is distressing

Verona didn’t know what to say when what she’d already said and how she’d reacted had probably hurt her mom, and her mom didn’t say anything.

eh, deserved

“Is it possible? To give Verona what she wants? I don’t imagine the money from the system going to her would be possible, like she suggested, but if we could divert child support, maybe?”

surprising W from Verona's mom! I mean, it means she doesn't have to change her life at all to accommodate her own child, so low bar, but this is also what Verona wants

“We’d be looking at… the schedule’s tight. This looks like, hm, three at-home visits over three months. During those visits, I or someone else with access to the file would be checking in to make sure that all course participation is maintained, that the house is safe. I would check in with Verona.” “Only three visits? She’s so upset right now.” “Resources are stretched thin.” “You’re sending her back to that house?”

well fuck.

Lowering my estimation of CAS right back down.

Guess it's time to see if we can get Verona set up with a Demesne she can live in?

“I finished talking with David Williams. Then I called Jasmine, and I called your dad, and I called Jasmine again.” Verona looked up. “She’ll take you until the end of summer. Your dad agreed to it.”

oh fuck yes

And one way or another, by the end of summer things will be different

She was going to Jasmine’s. What came after could be saved for after. The headache was gradually easing.

“So he gave my mom a preliminary plan of three visits from CAS over three months, right?” Verona told Tashlit. Nod. “And that’s now going to be twelve over six.” Double nod. “And originally, anger management classes and parenting classes. Now it’s anger management classes and parenting and therapy.”

on the one hand, bleak that it took the drawing to get this boosted. On the other, good that this is happening, and specifically that when Verona felt she couldn't get meaning across in words, she was able to use her art to communicate

“I hate that we go off and do our own things and we don’t cross paths. And it is entirely my fault as the mom that I let it happen. A part of me hoped my situation would change or we’d grow into new interests that did have those overlaps… I did with my mom. It took until I was seventeen or eighteen before I could talk to her, adult to adult. But I screwed up.”

Yeah you did! I mean I also didn't have a lot of shared interests with my mother as a teenager, and I still tease her about saying "You know, I actually like you as a person" when I was ~22 (liking the person I was as an independent adult, as opposed to just loving me as her daughter) (english is my mother's fourth language so phrasing is sometimes off). But she still did her best to understand my interests, and was always engaged in my life. Adult to adult is not the only way to have a strong relationship with your child!

“Call. Anytime, any reason. I would move heaven or earth for you.” “But you wouldn’t move,” Verona said

ouch

“Want to turn in earl-” her mom said, at the same time Verona said, “Want to look at my art?” “I would love to,” her mom replied.

baby steps :)

“Boyfriend material?” “Blegh. No. Not what I’m after.” “A boyfriend? Are you-?” “Nope. No, I wish. It’d be nice. No, it’s not the boyfriend part of that. It’s the material part of that. I’m immaterial. Maybe I’ll get there, maybe I won’t, but not right now. Lucy and Avery keep saying stuff like ‘uh oh’, poor Jeremy.” “That doesn’t sound friendly.” “It’s sorta accurate. Because we’re hanging out and he likes me and I don’t like anyone like that, so…”

aro Verona rights

A figure stepped out of darkness, and it wasn’t the local Others come to check in with her or welcome her to the area.

UHM?

“You tell me. Look what I found, or well, look who found me while I was out there!” At that cue, Miss stepped out from behind the power pole. Wind picked up and dust from the roadside hid her face.

oh fuck yes

“A good one,” Miss said, walking past the girls. She walked up to Rook, and the two of them hugged. “Hello, it’s been some time.”

huh! Didn't see that coming, but potentially very useful if they have Miss bridging the gap between them and Crooked Rook

“I asked Rook to make sure you three were more or less alright until I could find my way back. She has, I hope.” “She said she didn’t want to associate with us.” “Maintaining that position let Matthew, Edith, and the rest draw their own conclusions about my intents and goals,” Rook said. “And it helps keep this secret right here.”

clever clever clever! This completly changes the balance of power in Kennet. Miss back, Crooked Rook as an ally, by extension Nibble and Chloe...

“Rook,” Miss said, sounding more than a little upset. She turned her head Rook’s way, and Rook adjusted the position of the mask perfectly, in accordance with that.

this is cute

“As long as Montague could seize control of the diagram at any time, on Matthew and Edith’s request… Miss can’t come into Kennet.”

good counter for Miss, but I think Montague might be recruitable? something to work on

“I’m thinking back to a few nights ago. At the factory. Edith pretty much sent Chloe right at us. She was aggressive with the furs, she’s been testing the rules. What if we dealt with her, like, right away?” “Let’s,” Rook answered.

OwO

#pale #booksandchainmail reads pale #wildbow

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rinwellisathing · 2 months

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You're Awful, I Love You: Part 23

Enver Gortash/Trans Male Tiefling Durge

Sentry barely processed the world around him until he had fully left the sewers, breathing in the fresh air of the city. Well, as fresh as the lower city air in Baldur's Gate could be. He made his way to one of the corner book hawkers, examining the titles available.

“Vampires are popular this year, huh?” He asked, picking up one with a dark haired, red eyed man in noble clothing on the cover. “But here in Baldur's Gate? You'd have had better luck selling one set in Waterdeep or Neverwinter.” He set it down and looked over the others.

“Well, this is fiction of course, but it's based on true events!” The Dragonborn woman whispered excitedly. “They say there's a nobleman in the city who is a real vampire lord!”

Sentry chuckled and shook his head. “Next you'll be telling me you believe there's a Bhaalist cult in the sewers and Sarevok Anchev is auditioning assassins for it.”

“Well, a vampire lord is less far fetched than that.” The woman folded her arms. “Are you going to buy today, or just critique, Mr. Ojeda?”

“Alright, alright Saffy, I'll take this one.” Sentry picked up one with a masked man on the cover holding a swooning woman in a fine bardic ensemble. “I'm finding myself more and more willing to try the romantic ones lately.”

“Someone special in your life?” The woman asked, gem-like blue eyes searching Sentry's face curiously.

“You could say that.” He paid and placed the book in his satchel, continuing on his way.

Back at Gortash's home, Bane's chosen found himself poring over old notes and stolen tomes he'd spirited away with him when he had escaped the House of Hope. Diagrams and old Netherese writings explained the artifact and its use, but none of that was helpful when he considered where it was, and of course there was no denying its location. After all, how many times had Raphael drunkenly ranted about his long desired prize being snatched up by his father for his own collection, 'kept as some museum piece' as opposed to being used to rule. But Raphael was vain, stupid, short sighted. Gortash was sure even the Cambion's followers knew that. To rule the hells was simplistic, narrow. Why not rule, well, everything? Gain the ability to conquer every plane of existence. It would just take a powerful enough being under his control, well, his and a partner's. He could not do this alone, nor would he have to. It would be fitting that the one who brought this idea back to mind, who inspired this plan with one earnest gift, rule by his side.

He spelled it out plainly as he could in a message to his Dread Executioner, deciding to use a blood red ink, knowing it would catch Sentry's fancy. The message was signed with the hand of Bane in the bottom corner, knowing names would be a poor idea to write down on such a message. He also paused considering what messenger could be trusted to deliver it, and soon his dilemma was resolved as the scent of rot and blood filled the air.

“So you are the Master's concubine.” A grating little voice disrupted his pondering.

“And who exactly are you?” Enver raised a brow, almost amused at the overdressed, diminutive being glaring at him from his fire place.

“Sceleritas Fel, butler and faithful servant to my Lord Chosen Sentry Ojeda, The Dread Executioner.” The little man sniffed with an air of self-importance, puffing himself up.

“Ah, I see...Then you can bring him this message. It is, after all, your job to see to his affairs.” Gortash smirked, sure to make the expression as condescending as possible.

“His....affairs...yes, and his affair with you must be ending! You are not of proper birth to share a bed with my dear, despicable master.” Fel huffed, pointing a gnarled claw at Gortash, circling him like a predator, but indeed seeming more like a small, disgruntled dog to The Tyrant.

“I hardly think someone of Mr. Ojeda's standing takes advice from his staff.” Gortash rolled his eyes, sitting back in his chair. “So, will you deliver the message or have you worn out your welcome here already?”

Fel opened his mouth to speak, then looked taken aback for a moment, ears twitching as though listening to something. “But...but master, I....” He cleared his throat. “Yes, very well. It seems my young master's father sees value in whatever this message contains. Give it here.” He reached out his boney hand.

“Good. I knew you'd see reason.” Enver handed Fel the rolled parchment. “You can return here with his response as soon as he's ready.”

Fel snatched the parchment, grumbling as he stormed back towards the fire place, disappearing in a puff of blood red motes.

#baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #tiefling #oc #durge #dark urge #writing #fanfic #lord enver gortash #enver gortash #gortash x durge #durgetash

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a-wayfairing-stranger · 1 year

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The fairer sex

“Wait..wait..” Alex caught Richard’s arm as he walked past her to enter the officers tent “Do I look alright?”

She smoothed down her jacket, She had chosen to wear the dark green jacket of the 95th, paired with a black skirt and a dark green bodice, her cap didn’t fit on her head with her braids, so she decided against it, she hated it anyway, damn thing always slipped down over her eyes.

“As your commanding officer…I’d scold you for not wearing your cap..” He smiled “But as your husband, you look fine, besides, They’re here to listen to your strategy, not critique your looks.”

There was a old castle a few miles away full of deserted French soldiers, who now were little more than bandits and kept attacking the nearby village, The soldiers didn’t seem to care, but Alex did, and when she brought up her concerns to Richard, he had suggested that she present her ideas to the other officers to see if they could capture said deserters.

HER ideas, not his, even if he could have taken them and presented them as such.

“And if they don’t listen?”

“Then fool them.” He lifted the map in his hand “You have a strong plan, focus on that.”

His faith in her made her feel better at least, she swallowed and nodded.

Inside the tent, cigar smoke stung Alex’s eyes, she blinked a few times and wished she hadn’t, now she could see the officers, watching her.

“Sharpe!”

A man approached Richard and shook his hand

“I was looking forward to this meeting all day..So glad to see you have turned to planning your battles rather than simply following orders.” The man laughed “Shows that you may have the workings of a proper Officer yet.”

Richard nodded, and placed the map on the board at the front of the room

“Sirs, This is indeed a meeting to discuss how we are to capture armies worth of French bandits who are pillaging and destroying the town of Najón but I can not take credit for the plan.”

“Oh?” Another man asked, as the first retook his seat “But the message was quite clear, at seven o’clock this evening, Sharpe wishes to discuss the reclaiming of Najón.”

“Yes, but not Captain Sharpe.” Richard flashed her a small smile “Lady Sharpe.”

There was a confused mummer as Alex walked to the front and quickly glanced at the map, her annotations were correct, now she just had to remember her speech.

“I say..is this some sort of joke?” One of the younger Officers asked Jenkins, Alex thinks she'd seen him messing around with the serving girls “You cannot suggest we talk war with a woman?”

“And is she wearing a uniform?” It was the first man again “Come now Richard, you have had your fun.”

Richard frowned, Alex knew he detested fake familiarity.

“Gentlemen..should you not judge me by my merit?” Alex projected her voice, but kept it soft, suddenly all those elocution lessons were becoming useless

“What merit would that be?” Jenkins asked again “that you can remember the information given to you by your husband?”

There was laughter, A muscle is Richard’s jaw tensed.

“And pray tell, sir, what is it you do if not relay information given to you by your superiors?”

The room fell silent.

“I wear the uniform of the 95th riflemen because I march with them, I train with them, I am for all intents and purposes, one of them. I have been in the centre of this war for almost four years..I daresay, I have seen more action than most of this room.”

“Most of it on your back no doubt,” Jenkins replied, there was laughter, Alex glared at him.

“Did you not start this course by pretending to be a man?” A new man asked, a cigar clenched in his teeth “Why should we put the lives of our men in a crossdresser?”

More laughter.

“If my memory serves me, you used to be Miss Baker, Lord Baker’s youngest, and you were ousted from court due to being declared medically insane?”

“That's enough!” Richard’s voice boomed through the laughter, cutting the air as true as his sword.

“My wife..” He kept his voice hard, commanding “Was given permission by Lord Wellington himself to remain under my command, she is as capable as any man who took the King’s shilling.”

Alex turned to the board and grabbed the map, ripping it from the board.

“Save your breath, Richard.”

She sighed

“This was a waste of time.”

The air outside seemed fresher after all that smoke, and Alex’s eyes stung for a different reason now, tears pricked at them as she stomped through the field.

“Alex..” Richard was following her “Lex..”

She waited until they were a fair distance away before she stopped walking, among the empty carriages, temporarily shielded from everyone, she slumped against a cart, sinking to the grass, defeated.

“Bugger ‘em, Love.”

He sat next to her

“I’ll gather the men, we’ll follow your plan.”

“And you’ll be known as the man who was foolish enough to listen to his mad wife.” She scoffed “I shall not drag you down with me.”

She discarded the map

“Why did I ever think they would listen?”

“Because you're smarter than the lot of them.”

“As soon as you introduced me, I knew they wouldn’t take me seriously.” She sniffed, fighting back a sob so hard that it hurt her throat “And then..that man, he knew who I was..”

“He knows gossip, not the truth.”

“He didn’t say one untrue thing.” She ran a finger along the faded scar on her wrist “Six months..And it continues to ruin my life.”

He took her arm and brought it to his lips, he kissed the scar

“I won’t allow it, Alex.” He smiled “I don’t care what those tight arsed morons think, and neither should you, Wellington trusts you..I trust you.”

“Enough to risk your life?”

“It is yours anyway.”

“You make me feel as if I could walk through fire, you know that?”

“I would follow you.”

She smiled “Should it not be you at the front, Captain?”

“We’ll walk hand in hand.”

She laughed and rested her head on his shoulder “It would be hard to shoot like that.”

“Agreed..” he rested his head on hers “But I made you laugh.”

#Richard Sharpe x OC #richard sharpe #Sharpe OC #OC: Alex Baker #I love them okay

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lil-nova · 1 year

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A Little Personal

TW: if you don’t like depressing things don’t read.

As I am growing into the adult I am supposed to be, I realize more and more my parents were light-years away from being perfect. I want to write about my experiences in hope of getting them out. Finding peace within myself over the years to come, is all I want out of sharing these vulnerable pieces of my life. Dad wasn’t all too great of a person. He was sexist, racist, and an all round conservative person. Although, throughout my childhood he showed sexual curiosity for queerness. He did love thy neighbor. Just nothing usually added up, contradictions left and right. He would yell and scream at mom and my brother. He never liked how mom handled raising me. With my brother, dad believed that men were meant to have a full life by 21. So he was kicked out for a year, which wasted a bunch of money. My household was unpredictable, noisy, and confusing. I know for sure I have depression and anxiety of some form, but getting a diagnosis is tough with my financial situation as a college student. I suspect ADHD. Mom was never around emotionally, it felt like I couldn’t cry without hearing “Why are you crying for??” being shouted at me.

Dad on the other hand would keep me together emotionally. I had so much difficulty with emotions as a child. I remember vaguely crying at my school numerous times for missing dad. I remember not wanting to play with other kids, because I felt so detached from everything. You can’t say a child can’t remember those things. Some people cut negative memories out of their unconsciousness, but I never did.

I remember all the horrible things that went on in that house, and all the worry I had. All the blame I put on myself for my parent’s divorce, despite them telling me it’s not my fault. THEN, turning around when they were in the heat of an argument to tell me I was meant to be aborted. My dad, my friend at this point in time, wanted me aborted. I asked him about what mom told me and he said, “Your mother wouldn’t be fit to take care of you. I didn’t want another child to suffer, again.” He told me when I was born, I was his shining pride. It was like something kept him going for as long as he did, and he loved me. He loved how smart and talented I was. He was so proud. He valued my existence. Although, those negative traits would leak through and taint the fatherly love. It pains me to think about, but he would critique my eating habits. He told me if I didn’t do XYZ, I would never find a boyfriend. No boy would want me. But he also told me, don’t mess with boys. In retrospect, it confuses the hell outta me. Emotionally he helped me get over a lot of things with mom. Yet again, it was tainted with them always fighting. She said, he said. Back and forth, for what felt like eons. At one point, they would use me to send messages back and forth. I stood up for myself as a kid, “I’m not your telephone, daddy.” I remember I told him while sitting in the black Chevy truck waiting for mom to pick me up. The more I dig in my memories, the more I see how terrible they acted around me. As if I were a doll to be tugged around. I was somehow an object in their spats to nudge one another to do something. It sucks. They are my parents, but they are both so flawed. So you got me at 21 years old. 9 years since Dad passed away. I know he wouldn’t like who I am. But I know I am almost free from this generational cycle of pain. I want to be free. Free from shame, from pain of the past, from the inky blackness that plagued my family’s hearts before I was even conceived. I want to live for the people I have in my life currently. I have been through hell since I was born. Being tossed around by the forces of life. I needed to let this all out, so I can take on the bigger wave ahead of me, existence as I am. Who I am, and being unapologetically me.

#childhood trauma #divorce

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greengrungeemo · 2 years

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In Memory of a Great Friend

August 15th, 2022 was the day that took a great friend away. His name was Lucius, and we were friends for 2 and a half years or so. I must confess, I’m still in shock from the news delivered by his own brother... The moment he informed me, I was in denial. Yes, denial over the fact that a stroke can instantly shred a beautiful life... Denial over the fact that, a life had to be ended when he had so much going for him? He was a good man. A good soul.

Taken too soon. I wish we could have had way more fun memories together.

My fondest memories were playing Quake Champions with him. He invited me, knowing full well I was struggling with my mental turmoil. He reached out and treated me like a person, when for years and years, I was a demon and a fool. I still remember the maps we played on, and the characters we selected in that game, too. We discussed mental health and how we can progress in our lives from that day onward. He was interested in my D.I.D., and asked all kinds of questions. He mentioned how he had a girl voice in his head, and wondered if it could be the same thing I had? Since it was during a time where I didn’t trust myself, I kept replying that he should look into seeing a psychiatrist. But, what I hadn’t realized was that he may have just been trying to establish a good rapport with me? I never found out if he was diagnosed or in the process of it, but he messaged me every now and then about it. I was worried sick for him. I didn’t want him to have any alters develop, because mine (and myself), ruined so much for all those years. Reflecting back, if my alter-ego was still around by then, I know what she would have thought; she would have been skeptical.

That’s the *real* difference between a truly good friend and a bad one. He represents the truly good friend here. Among other things, skepticism and nonstop critique were some of the traits I disliked most about myself back then. Nonstop judgment. It was constant. Being opinionated is one thing, but to tell your friends what they should and shouldn’t like? Ugh, it bothers me thinking about it. But, Lucius? He was endlessly a man with an open heart. Inclusive, approachable, and earnest. I’m certain I still could have learned a lot from him by how he carried himself. For years and years of my life, I convinced myself that all of these opinions I forced down everyone’s throats were due to “critical thinking and being logical”, etc. The reality was all that did was inflate my own ego and ruin the fun for everyone. I wish I learned that far, far sooner. It’s the amazing and shining lights in the world, like Lucius, that help others grow.

You helped me grow, Lucius, and I thank you so much for this.

Lucius had an even greater legacy outside of the online world, he was known throughout by his family, friends, and coworkers as the funniest and goofiest guy around! He also worked hard, damn hard, and always had such a strong character. Live and let live, be open, and have fun! I’ll never forget him, and I’ll never forget that time he reached out and wanted to better understand me, despite knowing full well I was messed up back then. I pray your soul is resting peacefully in heaven.

There’s a special place in my heart for my friends, past and present. You’ll always be remembered.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵ ❤ Lucius, 2000-2022 ❤

#personal #personal thoughts

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felassan · 3 years

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“I was trying to chart out the arc of [Jack’s] romance, which for much of the development - it was actually very late that it became a male/female-only romance,” Brian Kindregan tells me. Kindregan was the lead writer for Jack. “She was essentially pansexual for most of the development of that romance.”

“Mass Effect had been pretty heavily and really unfairly criticized in the US by Fox News, which at the time... maybe more people in the world thought that there was a connection between reality and what gets discussed on Fox News,” Kindregan continues. “The development team of Mass Effect 2 was a pretty progressive, open-minded team, but I think there was a concern at pretty high levels that if [the first] Mass Effect, which only had one gay relationship, Liara - which on paper was technically not a gay relationship because she was from a mono-gendered species - I think there was a concern that if that had drawn fire, that Mass Effect 2 had to be a little bit careful.”

Interestingly enough, Courtenay Taylor - who played Jack in Mass Effect 2 - also expressed that she was originally supposed to be a pansexual character. In a recent chat, Taylor said:

“It’s funny to me because my understanding was always that she was pansexual. So I don’t know if that’s just something I inferred from the character or something that she said that maybe got cut. I was surprised there wasn’t a female romance possible because that was my understanding. I think it was the time, you know? That was, what - 2008/2009? The industry has changed exponentially since then, and BioWare was leading the charge on that. I don’t know if it came down to a budget constraint or maybe someone being like ‘this is too obvious’ because everyone was like ‘of course she’s a lesbian.’ But my sense was always that she was [pansexual] and it just didn’t get followed through. Of course, the community modded it immediately so you can have it your way.”

As Jack’s writer, Kindregan explains that he didn’t necessarily agree with the decision to change her sexuality. He understands why it happened, and says “it wasn’t like some anti-gay person high up on the Mass Effect 2 team saying, ‘we’re not going to have that’.” Instead, it had to do with the firestorm of controversy that Mass Effect had received back in 2007, and attempting to minimize the amount of critique that would be directed towards the community by outlets like Fox News again. “The short version is, a lot of us were asked pretty late to focus the relationships on a more traditional kind of vector,” Kindregan says.

“I’ve definitely heard a lot from people who were surprised that Jack turned out to not be open to that,” he continues. “I understand why. I would say that there were a lot of seeds planted in her conversations that certainly implied that she was pansexual - she once specifically references being part of a thrupple. She says there was a guy and a woman she was running with that invited her into their robberies and into their bed. She definitely references those things. That was explicitly to start sending the message that yes, this is a character who is pansexual. In the eleventh hour revision of cleaning that up, she’d already been partially recorded with voiceover. Not all of that could be changed.

“I would say even with the things I could change, and I don’t know if this was the right decision or not, I still saw her as a character with an edge,” Kindregan says. “Not edgy, but with an edge of not following traditional norms. I think I might have, even during the revision process, kept some of that stuff in there with a sense of like yeah, this is a person who’s been around and done a lot of things, went off the farm and down to Paris.”

Ultimately, though, Jack became a romance option that was exclusively available for male Shepard, despite the fact that both her writer and actor agree that she was originally supposed to be pansexual. 2010 was only three years after the infamous Fox News Mass Effect debacle, and so BioWare was reluctant to follow through on some of the ideas that were specifically put in place early in development.

[on Samara] [She] expresses that she has feelings for you but ultimately turns you down - Kindregan compares it to someone saying, sure, I’ll be with you, but I’m in love with this other person and I’ll ditch you for them if they come calling.

“I’ve worked with lesbian developers who have come up to me and said like, ‘Why is Jack not into me?’” Kindregan says. “And I have to say ‘I’m so sorry, it’s partially my fault.’ But I still stand by the thing of keeping her with a more varied background. Maybe someday Jack will be portrayed as pan.”

[source]

#bioware #mass effect #lgbtq #video games #queerphobia cw #queerphobia for ts #long post #longpost #mj best of

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shemarmooresfedora · 3 years

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Sugary Sweet Apologies

Summary: You and Reid never really got along but when he saves your life, you decide to be the bigger person and thank him and hopefully start over. Unfortunately, it isn’t that easy.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Content/Warnings: light to mild angst with fluffy ending, swearing, spencer reid being an annoying bitch, brief mentions of case stuff (if you watch cm, you should be fine)

A/N: this is for @willowrose99 ‘s 1 year anniversary on tumblr writing challenge!! congrats! i literally wrote and edited this whole thing in less than one day because i got so excited, anyways i hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 1.8k

“Reid and Y/L/N, go to David Whitney’s house. He was the therapist of two of the three victims. He could have some insight into the victimology and know of any overlap between them. He has no criminal record of past aggressive behavior but we can’t rule him out as a suspect entirely,” Hotch stated.

“Hotch, you stuck me with her yesterday for the geographical profiling. Send Prentiss with her instead,” Spencer whined.

“I don’t mind going with Y/L/N. She is a great partner in the field,” Emily glared at Spencer.

“No. Reid, go with Y/L/N or be taken off this case. I’m a unit chief, not an elementary school teacher. I don’t have time for temper tantrums,” Hotch chided.

“Fine,” Spencer grumbled as you grabbed the keys to an SUV.

You don’t know what it was but ever since you started at the BAU four months ago, Spencer had never liked you which resulted in you disliking him as well. Everyone else on the team was super friendly and welcoming but Reid always was jabbing snarky remarks your way like “I don’t have time to explain it to you” or “This was in the FBI handbook. God, you need more training.”

Luckily, the others were quick to defend you. Once Garcia even heard him snip at you over the phone and as soon as you all got off the elevator after the case, Reid was being dragged by his ear into Garcia’s lair with him going “ow ow ow” behind her. So, you didn’t really pay much mind to him because you could deal with one annoying know-it-all to have such an amazing job with great coworkers minus the one.

“Look, I’m not happy about this either,” you said as you climbed into the driver’s side of the SUV, “But at least I’m not being a whiny bitch about it and being rude to the other person’s face.”

“Oh wow, I’m so sorry that I hurt your feelings,” Spencer mocked.

“Fuck you, Reid,” you shook your head.

David Whitney was on edge the second you arrived and showed him your badges. He was bouncing his leg up and down, he couldn’t sit still, and he kept avoiding eye contact.

He knew way too much about the other victim that wasn’t even one of his clients but you didn’t have anything solid on him. His house seemed very neat so you doubted he kept anything incriminating here. Organized offenders usually have a secondary location. So, you decided to push his buttons a little.

“I mean blitz attacks, leaving the bodies on the side of dirt roads,” you combed through the crime scene photos, “This guy was a real coward.”

Spencer picked up on what you were trying to do and his eyes widened, he was subtly shaking his head and mouthing “no”.

“Excuse me?” David asked.

“Well, I’m just saying a real man wouldn’t cower in the bushes and blindside a woman. He must not be very strong,” you stated, “He probably can’t even get it up.”

Before you even had time to react, David pulled out a switchblade knife from inside the couch cushions and put you in a chokehold, pressing the cool metal up to your throat. You closed your eyes tightly.

“David, you don’t have to do this,” Spencer stood with his gun pointed at you both.

“This bitch insulted me,” he snarled.

“She insults me too. That doesn’t make you any less of a man,” Spencer spoke carefully, “Just put the knife down and I’ll escort you out.”

David sighed, dropping the knife to the floor and releasing you.

Spencer put David in handcuffs and walked him outside as reinforcements came running in.

“Are you okay, Y/L/N?” Hotch asked.

“Yep, a little shaken up but fine. Thank you,” you stood.

“Let’s get you to the medics,” Morgan grabbed your arm to support you as you walked over to the ambulance.

Spencer never checked on you.

You knew your decision in the field was a little rash and you wanted to thank Spencer for essentially saving your life.

However, there was no way in hell you could verbally get out an apology while staring at his smug face, but you could bake. You settled on a note tucked inside a tupperware container of your Grandma’s special recipe of chocolate chip cookies. It was a good peace offering, maybe even a chance to start fresh.

During your lunch break, you took the tupperware from your desk drawer and approached the break room where Reid had entered about 5 minutes ago.

“I’m just saying I could not have been more clear in my message to her that it was too dangerous but of course, Y/L/N didn’t listen cause Y/L/N is going to do whatever she feels like,” Spencer stirred his coffee.

No one had noticed you standing in the doorway yet.

“Reid, you’ve got to be nicer to her. She earned her spot here just like the rest of us,” Emily defended you.

“Did she though? How much do we really know about her? She couldn’t even tell me how many pages the FBI protocol manual was,” Spencer said.

“That’s not a normal thing people know,” Morgan retorted.

“Well, I’m just saying the team was perfectly fine before her and it would probably be better off if she left,” Reid finished.

Garcia looked up from her yogurt to see you standing there, “Oh, Y/N”.

Spencer turned around in his chair as you angrily stormed up to him.

“Here’s your cookies, asshole,” you seethed, grabbing the note from inside and crumpling it up into a little ball and tossing it into the trash.

“Y/N!” Emily called after you but you were already gone.

The whole team glared at Spencer and picked up their lunches, leaving him alone at the table.

Spencer retrieved the balled up paper from the trash, having to fish through Rossi’s week old pasta and Anderson’s half eaten tuna fish sandwich.

Dear Reid,

Thank you for saving my life, I guess. These are my Grandma’s secret recipe for chocolate chip cookies so I hope you enjoy. I think we got off on the wrong foot and I would like to start over. I think cases would be a lot less miserable for everyone if we got along.

Thanks again,

Y/L/N

Spencer, you’re such an idiot, he thought to himself.

You never came back after your lunch break ended and Derek made Spencer go tell Hotch why it’s his fault you were missing the rest of the day.

He tried to call you multiple times but they always rang out before going to voicemail.

Spencer hesitantly knocked on Penelope’s door at the end of the day.

“Is she okay?” he asked softly.

“You don’t get to ask that as the person who hurt her in the first place. Also, she told me to tell you that don’t you dare go to her apartment to ‘check on her’. I’m headed over there myself actually,” Penelope collected her things and shut off her monitors.

“Will you at least tell her I’m really sorry?” Spencer followed her to the elevator.

“Absolutely not. I’m not doing any apologizing on your behalf,” Penelope huffed as the elevators shut.

You came in the next morning, keeping your head down. You grabbed a pen from your cup holder and the first folder on your stack before getting to work.

You were on the second page of the file when your clean, empty tupperware was placed in front of you plus another baking dish with aluminum foil over the top.

You glanced up to see Spencer guiltily looking down at you and you returned your eyes back to the file.

“I-I made you cinnamon rolls,” Spencer broke the silence.

“Are they poisoned?” you asked, not sparing him another glance.

“No, they’re not poisoned,” he assured you.

“I’m just saying how can I trust you as you have made it very apparent you would like me off this team.”

“I didn’t mean that,” Spencer was quick to reply.

“Then why the hell did you say it, Reid?” you slammed your pen down.

You grabbed your empty coffee mug and briskly walked to the break room but unfortunately, Spencer was right behind you.

“I didn’t eat any of your cookies by the way. Not that I didn’t want to but I felt like I didn’t deserve them so I handed them out to everyone else.”

“Oh how kind, taking credit for my work,” you tried to close the door in his face.

“I told them that they were from you,” Spencer insisted.

You rolled your eyes as Spencer grabbed the coffee pot before you could get to it, pouring your mug of coffee for you.

“What do you want from me, Reid?” you asked defeatedly.

“I want you to try a cinnamon roll and let me explain.”

“Fine but only because I didn’t have breakfast yet and I want to critique your baking skills,” you huffed, walking back to your desk.

Spencer gingerly placed one of the sticky frosting-coated rolls on a napkin and pushed it towards you. You tentatively bit into it. Damn it, it was actually delicious.

“It’s okay,” you understated.

You knew Spencer hardly ever used his kitchen let alone be up baking all night. He even chose a recipe that required more time and effort because the yeast dough would have to rise for a few hours.

“That’s good. The first batch didn’t come out as great...or the second,” he smiled softly.

“Well, the floor is all yours, Reid. Please explain to me why you talk shit about me to my co-workers when I’m in the other room,” you leaned back in your chair and crossed your arms.

Spencer muttered something incoherent.

“I have to hear the apology, you know,” you said, enjoying watching him uncomfortable.

“You’re intimidating to me because you’re intelligent, beautiful, and courageous. I think I was a little jealous that my spotlight as the ‘kid’ of the BAU was coming to an end so I said some harsh, completely untrue things and I’m sincerely sorry.”

“Oh my god,” you smirked, “Hotch was right, you are an elementary school kid.”

“In what way?” he curiously asked.

“You like me like like like me. You don’t know how to talk to the girl so you pull her pigtails on the playground,” you giggled.

“I take it back. You’re a horrible profiler,” Spencer was getting up from his seat, completely flustered.

“Awww,” you were laughing at Spencer’s bright red face as he went to go to the break room to fill his coffee mug.

When he got back to his desk, a sticky note was placed front and center.

In typical elementary school fashion…

Will you go get coffee with me?

Check:

Yes

Spencer smiled before picking up his pen and checking one of the boxes, crumpling the sticky note up into a ball and throwing it over to your desk.

“Good choice. See you Saturday at 9 at the cafe down the street,” you grinned.

“It’s a date,” he smiled.

#willsannievent #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #spencer x reader #reid x reader #spencer reid #cm fanfic #criminal minds

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whoree321 · 3 years

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the bad batch + what romance/rom com movies they watch with you

each of the bad batch x gn!reader

ok first and foremost i really truly believe to the pits of my soul that every single one of these fuckos loves romances and you cannot under any circumstances change my mind

ALSO it’s a gender neutral reader except kinda in echo’s theres like a very brief quote regarding breasts but like i still think even that is pretty gender neutral tbh

so anyway

Hunter: Pretty Woman

this is not the first time that i have publicly declared that i think hunter has a deep rooted connection to the movie pretty woman and it will not be the last

first of all this movie is incredibly soothing to hunters overwhelming savior complex

second of all hunter is literally richard gere (debonaire but emotionally distant gentleman that learns to love) and julia roberts (hooker with a heart of gold) at the same time

he was a little skeptical the first time you put it on but he instantly fell in love with it

the humor, the sensuality, the class divide, the glamour, the unconventional cinderella story of it all. it just really butters his bread

after the first time, when you suggest watching a movie and you pick this one he’ll act very aloof about it (“whatever you want cyar’ika, it doesn’t matter to me”) but secretly he’s really really happy bc it’s one of his favorites (you def know this and def pick it more often)

he absolutely hates the scene when stucky the lawyer hits vivian. like it doesn’t matter how many times he watches it he will fully turn his head away from the screen and say “I don’t like this part” and when it’s over he nuzzles a little closer into you and very tenderly kisses your forehead

he loves the soundtrack too. like he fully exposes how much he likes the movie when you catch him singing or humming “pretty woman” or “it must have been love” absently to himself (you kept it to yourself for a while but eventually you just had to tease him about it. he just smiled a little sheepishly and admitted he liked the songs before promptly changing the subject)

hunter also lowkey definitely wants to recreate the ending where richard gere shows up to her apartment in the white limo with you bc he thinks it’s such a sweet gesture and he wants to treat you like royalty

Crosshair: 10 Things I Hate About You

if there’s one thing about crosshair it’s that he’s a sucker for the enemies to lovers genre

maybe its just him projecting (spoiler alert it most certainly is) but he really enjoys watching the drama conflama of a miserable bastard be tricked into love

and really that’s the true essence of 10 Things I Hate About You

he will grumble and bitch and moan about not wanting to watch a ‘chick flick’ when you put it on, but 15 minutes in and he’s hooked

he has strong negative opinions on literally every single character except for kat and patrick

(crosshair really really wants to think he’s patrick but when it comes down to it he is katarina stratford in every single possible way)

he doesn’t say a word throughout the entire movie but you can tell when he’s annoyed at like bianca or cameron or joey bc he will openly scoff at them

will absolutely hum along in your ear during the “can’t take my eyes off you” scene and make out with you during the paintball scene

(seriously he wants to be patrick verona so bad)

when it’s over and you ask him what he thought he’ll roll his eyes and say “i guess it could have been worse” but his little smirk let’s you know he enjoyed it a lot more than he’s willing to admit

Tech: 50 Shades of Grey

ok hear me out on this one

tech is a huge movie talker. like subtitles are a non-negotiable if you wanna be able to take in any of the movies dialogue bc tech is most likely gonna make commentary over it the whole time

this makes him absolutely indescribably so much fun to watch bad/corny movies with

he will go off about EVERYTHING. the plot, the dialogue, the acting, the costuming, the music, the production quality. nothing and no one is safe. whether you just enjoy letting him talk at you or you join in on the roast, cheesy movies are a hoot between you two

and honey. 50 shades is one of THE cheesiest movies ever

you and tech will literally spend the entire duration of the movie tearing it to shreds

and the thing is tech is a very sarcastic, funny guy when he wants to be (and when it comes to you he definitely wants to be) so by the end of it he will have you in absolute stitches from laughing at the ridiculousness of both the movie and him

with any of the other batchers watching a movie like this either turns into a shy, slightly awkward experience (wrecker, echo) or an incorrigibly horny experience (crosshair, hunter)

but in this context tech literally has no shame or squeamishness about sexual things (why should he it’s a natural biological process?) so to yall the sex stuff is just another thing to roast

literally christian grey could be fully tying dakota johnson down and flogging her and tech will be like “in the last 3 minutes they have panned up to her nipples 4 times. this is criminally shoddy cinematography”

even tho he’s busy giving a detailed play by play critique, he never fails to keep some sort of physical contact with you (wrapping an arm around you and running his hand up and down your skin, playing with your fingers or your hair) so you know he’s enjoying spending this time with you despite his nasty words about the movie

also 1000% after you watch it tech will do extensive research on the ins and outs of bdsm and will have lots of hypotheses he wants to test out (as long as you’re willing and able ofc) ;)))

Wrecker: 13 Going On 30

of all the bad batch members, wrecker is the only one who unabashedly loves any movie that could be considered a chick flick

like he doesn’t even try to hide it or act like he’s too masculine for it. he loves romance and he’s proud of it

this man will have full marathons with you. rom coms, regular roms, tragic roms, hallmark roms, you name it and he’s game

his absolute favorite tho is 13 Going On 30

i feel like he has a huge soft spot for childhood best friends to lovers stories like he finds that type of lifelong partnership so endearing (and he loves to live vicariously through jenna since that type of romance was obviously never an option for him)

wrecker is also very childlike at heart and i think the idea of a 13 year old sweetheart trapped inside the body of a 30 year old cut throat magazine exec is so amusing to him (and maybe makes him feel just a little bit represented in the media)

he is definitely the type to completely engulf you in a cuddle for the entirety of the movie and he DEFINITELY cries into your shoulder at matty’s wedding when jenna is crying on the stoop with her dream house

he wants to try razzles so bad. like so bad. i think if he ever came across them somewhere he would barter at least one of his brothers for them

wrecker really just loves love and watching movies about it just reminds him of how lucky he is to have his own love story with you <3

Echo: The Princess Bride

i feel like it’s glaringly obvious why echo loves this movie

pirates. sword fighting. decades long revenge plots. the value of an honorable, loyal man. true love that never wavers even in the face of devastating tragedy and the darkest of hardships. clever but goofy humor.

echo considers this an action/adventure movie and NOT a romance movie (even tho it 100% totally is a romance movie) and requests to watch it very frequently

he can quote the whole thing. i’m seriously telling you echo loves the princess bride with his whole chest

even tho he refuses to admit it’s a love story above all else, he really does try to model himself in your relationship after wesley

like especially given what happened at the citadel and all the time you thought he was dead, the cinematic parellels are alive and present in y’alls relationship and he strives to be even half the man to you that wesley is to buttercup

literally in your day to day life he will sometimes respond to your requests with a smooth “as you wish ;)” (it doesn’t matter how many times he does it it still gives you butterflies)

when you watch the movie, he snuggles as close to you as possible and does his best to make youre comfy the whole time (he’s insecure about his prosthetics hurting you no matter how much you reassure him they don’t)

he just loves to be able to feel your heartbeat and your laugh when you giggle at the funny bits

every single time without fail at the part when buttercup is about to stab herself he leans down, ghosts his lips against the shell of your ear, and whispers the line in time with wesley: “there’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. it would be a pity to damage yours”

every single time without fail you wind up making out until he pulls away and tells you to watch the next part when wesley challenges humperdinck to a duel to the pain

echo just loves you to bits and wants you to know he’d endure a thousand fire swamps for you

Omega: Clueless

i have this really specific obsession with omega being a total girly girl and having very traditionally feminine interests as she keeps experiencing the universe and being exposed to a spectrum of gender expression beyond clone (masc and boring) and kaminoan (ugly)

so with that headcanon of her in mind, it’s vital to me that she sees clueless as soon as possible

clueless is an essential piece of media for a girl entering adolescence and i will die on this hill

it has literally everything you want and everything you need to develop into a well-rounded young woman

it’s so deliciously 90s and glamorama and valley girl humor and camp. its got meaningful female friendships and valuable life lessons and paul mf rudd

if there’s one thing you should encourage a burgeoning hetero teen girl to do, it’s to stick to dating guys like paul rudd in clueless. the earlier this message can be broadcast the better

the second you’re able to steal omega away from hunters watchful eyes (“hunter we’re just gonna watch finding nemo i swear!”) you show her this movie

at this point omega is not really a girly girl, but omega also has absolutely zero feminine influence in her life

the first time she sees clueless she is absolutely obsessed. like seriously she is so enamoured with the glitz and glam of cher horowitz

she asks you questions the entire time. she wants to know about EVERYTHING. the makeup, the clothes, the hair, the slang

(she definitely goes around saying stuff like “i’m totally bugging” for long enough afterwards that almost all of the boys have slipped up at least once with some ridiculous valley girl slang. you thought you were gonna die of laughter when you overheard tech say “as if!” to wrecker in the middle of an argument)

it just really introduces her to this whole world of femininity that she didn’t even know existed and she absolutely loves it

she makes you watch clueless with her seriously once a week at minimum. she begs you to style her hair like tai’s and you can’t help yourself when you happen to run across a little yellow plaid dress and buy it for her on sight

(hunter was gonna scold you for recklessly spending credits until he saw how omega almost cried from how happy she was for the gift)

honestly she enjoys the romance of it all and paul rudd is def her first celebrity crush but she enjoys more that you and her now have this special thing of hair and nails and pretty dresses

she loves how confident and beautiful and special you’re able to make her feel, and you love that you get to bring her that small sense of normalcy and happiness

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apotatomashedbybts · 2 years

Text

A Snowfall To Remember

Pairing: Kim Seokjin×reader

Genre: non idol au; established relationship au; fluff

Rating: PG-13

Warning: Height (if anyone has fear of heights), Seokjin is an anxious little bean

Word Count: 4.3k+

Banner: made by me

Posted: 19 Dec 2021

[Summary: Spending his birthday night with you was all Seokjin could want and think about but you have something more in store for him and that doesn't include just spending time together.]

[Author's note: So I initially planned to post this on Seokjin's birthday and I had the audacity to think that I can post it when I started writing this on 4th! Talk about overconfidence. Anyways, I finally finished writing this oneshot! I hope you'll enjoy! Feedbacks are always welcome 💜🌼]

[Author's note #2: This story have been submitted to Bangtan Oasis critique project and is open to receiving any and every critique or feedbacks.]

"The snowfall this year is getting rather late in arriving…"

That was the first thought that crossed Seokjin's mind after staring outside at the kaleidoscopic crowd through the glass wall of the convenience store he worked at. While absentmindedly counting the moving figures he had forgotten the track of how long he had been staring, so to gather his unmindful and distracted self he shook his head a little and brought back himself to read the book "Learn to act like the IT boy of the century within 10 days" that had been lying in front him on the counter, ignored for an extended length of time, with its second page open like some salesman who had been given a cold shoulder to.

He didn't really feel like reading and his eyes constantly wandered off to his phone. It was almost 11.

"An hour more…" He mused and opened your chat to read the last message you sent to him that afternoon once again.

"Work's gonna be late but not gonna miss being with you tonight! Love you babe!"

He smiled and started scrolling through the pictures of you two together. His cheek resting on one hand, one hand going through his phone, neck slightly tilted, and a sheepish smile painted on his lips – anyone who knew you both could tell that he was looking at you, and whoever didn't know you would certainly know that he was, in fact, deep in love with the person he was seeing pictures of.

He had started looking at your pictures because he was missing you but that made him miss you more so he kept the phone and started waiting for customers while, again, carelessly resting his eyes on the book in front of him, that he was certainly not reading.

Day was rather slow today and he couldn't wait to get out of that tiring store and spend the night with you. But that was going to take a few more hours given his shift was going to end at 2 am. "Could the night go anymore slower?" He asked himself with a sigh.

The loud chime from the bell on the door pulled Seokjin out of his lazy wishful thoughts – it was the store owner.

Seokjin confusedly looked at him and braced himself. The store owner always visited the store at mornings, so him visiting this late at night was a red alarm for sure. Seokjin scrambled at his book and hid it under the counter and bowed at the store owner with the sweetest smile his sweating inner self could gather.

"Ugh! Why are the aisles so messy!? Were you dosing off because business is slow, huh?" The store owner, Mr. Hwang, started grumbling as soon as he entered and waved dismissively at Seokjin's bow.

"Ah! I'll clean it up right now! Please have a seat!" Seokjin rushed out from the counter to the front aisle where Mr. Hwang was standing with his hands folded behind his back and looking up and down the aisle.

"There's no need. I don't need you anymore. You can go!" Mr. Hwang said with his eyebrows knitted together – irritation written all over his face.

"What?" Seokjin was taken aback. Panicked and confused he looked at the store owner trying to find all the clues that could prove what he was thinking was wrong.

After saying what he said Mr. Hwang went back again to look at the aisles with his lips curved in an upside down curve.

Seokjin stood there like a stone cold statue trying to figure out his position. He needed this job. At least until he could achieve his dream. Till then he needed a source to sustain himself. He swiped his sweaty hands on the side of his pants and walking quickly towards the aisle where Mr. Hwang was standing now he called out mildly, "Mr. Hwang!"

Slightly startled Mr. Hwang turned to look at his side and widening his eyes he said, "You are still here? Didn't I tell you to go?"

Mustering a conflicted smile Seokjin asked, "You mean go back to the counter, right?"

"No. I told you to go from the store. I'll be here for the rest of your shift. I am giving you this shift off."

"B-but why?" Seokjin was still confused.

Mr. Hwang rubbed his forehead with his fingers and broke out into fits of laughter.

As if he wasn't confused enough, Seokjin was more now.

Walking upto Seokjin, Mr. Hwang patted his shoulder and said, "I got you good, huh? Isn't it your birthday in a few minutes? Go, your girlfriend is waiting outside!"

Seokjin looked at his face as if to know if he was joking or telling the truth.

"What are you looking at? Go quickly! It's freezing outside! No good man keeps their lady waiting!" Mr. Hwang rushed Seokjin.

It took him a few seconds to grasp what was happening and when he did Seokjin grinned widely and shouting, "Y-yes! Thank you," he gave a quick bow to the store owner and hastily took off the uniform, wore his coat, grabbed his bag and bolted out of the door.

You were waiting under a tree that was a few feet away from the store and rubbing your hands to be content in the minimal warmth it produced to your freezing hands.

You looked at your phone screen to see the time – forty minutes to midnight.

"I hope the store owner isn't giving him a hard time…" You thought and looked at the store.

At that moment you saw the silhouette of your boyfriend dashing out the store door. You laughed at his reaction and waved at him.

Noticing you he waved back, stood for a moment and ran back into the store.

"Huh?" A small query escaped your lips and smiling you leaned on the tree and looked at your feet. You didn't mind waiting for him a few seconds more.

Hearing loud footsteps you looked up only to be tackled in a tight hug by the sturdy man. He held you so tightly as if you were going to disappear if he let you go. You could feel his heartbeat racing mad against yours.

Seokjin nuzzled against your hair and whispered, "I was missing you."

You whispered back, "I was missing you too," and continued to bury your face in his chest.

A few moments passed like that and as if suddenly remembering something you broke the hug and checked the time.

"Oh shit! It's 11:30! We have to hurry!" You grabbed Seokjin's hand and pulled him towards the road where your car was parked.

But he didn't move, instead he held your hand strongly refusing to let go or letting you lead. You looked back, confused.

He gave you a quick pull and you ended up in his arms again.

"You have surprised me enough, babe! Other surprises can wait! Just let me hold you for a few more minutes." He said softly while looking into your eyes.

"Why would you say it like that!!?" Your mind screamed as you felt a familiar tickling sensation in your stomach, lower abdomen, chest, everywhere.

"Ah.. I.. um…" You found it difficult to form a word, forget about a sentence.

You gulped hard and stared at him trying to form a reply in your head.

Seokjin tilted his head and flashing a smile he said, "Cat got your tongue? Should I get it instead?"

As much as you wanted him to do that you had other plans in mind. So you placed a chaste kiss on his plush lips and replied, "For that we have to go where I wanna take you."

You pulled his collars closer to each other in a fake attempt to tidy his not so unkempt coat and continued, "And if we are late because of you, the couch might be your accommodation on your birthday night."

You curved your lips in a sinister smile and extended your hand to grab his.

"I wouldn't want to risk that." He flashed another of his sweet smiles, "but before that lemme just," he brought out two hot packs from his pocket and after opening he shook them a little and held your hand to put those inside your gloves, "keep you warm!"

You felt the warmth spread throughout your palms to your system. In that moment you understood why he rushed back into the store and when you realised that you looked at him, trying not to cry and whispered, "Why do you have to be so perfect?"

He bent down a little to your height and placing a soft kiss on your lips he replied softly, "Because you are."

The night was getting colder by the minute and though the road was almost empty on your way, you were not one to stay quiet. So as soon as you hit the road both of you started to chat about how your day went and occasionally sang together along with the songs that came on the radio.

After a short fifteen minutes drive you stopped the car. Seokjin stretched his limbs and rubbed clean a small portion of the foggy window on his side.

"Amusement park? At this hour? It must be closed." Seokjin looked at you with confusion and worry mixed in his expression.

"Then I guess the couch is your sleeping partner tonight." You winked at him with a smile and went out after telling him to stay in the car.

With an uneasy mind Seokjin started to wait for you only to be startled by a mild knock on his already-fogged-again window after hardly a couple minutes. He started to roll down the window slowly but almost instantly stopped and began rolling up the window glass when the someone who was knocking on the window began to pull the car's door open.

"Open the door, you scaredy cat!" You yelled from outside.

Seokjin flung open the door as soon as he heard your voice and yelled back, "I was scared shitless! You should have used that voice before scaring the living daylights out of me! I thought you were a serial killer for fuck's sake."

You held his arm and said, "Alright, alright! I am sorry! I will start calling you by your name when I am within a mile radius of you! Okay? Now let's go! It'll be midnight soon!" You pulled him.

"Where? In this closed amusement park?" Seokjin refused to move an inch.

"Yes! That's why we are here! Come on! Don't be a baby!" You exclaimed with urgency.

"Are you taking me there to sacrifice me or something?" Seokjin asked again.

"Yes! I am!" You pulled a reluctant Seokjin behind you and crossed the main gate.

Guided by the man who was waiting for you inside the park with a flashlight in his hands all of you reached under the only ferris wheel of the park within a minute with Seokjin glued to your side firmly.

The man guided you two into a cabin and went away to start the Ferris wheel.

You sat face to face and as the Ferris wheel began moving Seokjin relaxed his grip on your hand but kept on holding it.

You rubbed slow small circles on his hand that was holding yours with your thumb. You knew how anxious he could be sometimes and these always helped him relax, even if it's a small amount.

When the wheel completed a circle you reached under your seat and brought out a big box.

You unboxed it quickly and brought out the cake and placed the candles forming the number 29 on it.

Seokjin stared at you with a faint smile on his lips and said with a chuckle, "You know we could have done this in your warm apartment instead of trembling in this cold, right?"

"Oh, shush! Special occasions need special places to be celebrated! And this cabin is warm enough! You are just being dramatic with all this 'trembling in cold'." You pretended to scold him.

With a pout on his lips he replied, "For me every place is special if I am with you."

"Aww look at all that extra cheese you got there today!" You exclaimed with a playful smack on his arm.

"I have more! Wanna see?" He gave you a smirk.

Amidst your banter you two didn't realise when you had reached the top and once your cabin once again reached the top the Ferris wheel stopped moving causing Seokjin to panic.

Thinking they would be stuck the whole night in that freezing temperature on such a height for a stupid mechanical fault of the wheel he shouted out aiming at the bottom of the wheel where the control room was, "Hey! Get this thing moving or else you won't be able to move once I get down there!"

As his voice dissipated halfway in the darkness of the lonely amusement park, you suppressed the incoming laughter and keeping your hand on Seokjin's shoulder you said, "Calm down Mr. Hot head. I gave him instructions earlier to do this."

He looked at you as if he was asking you with his eyes why would you do that?

You laughed at his expression and said, "Trust me a little bit, hm? I swear it's going to be worth it!"

Relaxing his tensed shoulder he leaned forward and kept his forehead on your shoulder and murmured, "I know. You know me, I get tensed over nothing."

"Hmm." You hummed agreeing in response and kissed the side of his ear.

Checking the time again in your phone you held Seokjin's shoulders and made him sit straight and smiled, "It's time!"

You lighted the candles and with low voice you started singing the birthday song with small claps and signalled Seokjin to blow the candles.

Never ceasing to smile Seokjin blew the candles whilst clapping for him himself and cut two small slices from the cake – one for each.

The cabin had a well-built wide solid steel plate with thin cushion installed on it as a seat that went around inside the cabin so that people could sit facing any direction inwardly. The cabin was also supported by enduring large steel bars that were attached on the four sides of the cabin in connection with the wheel bars. This made the balance of the cabins stable, allowing the passangers to sit in one side if they wanted to without worrying about the pod to tilt on one side.

Taking the advantage of the cabin settings you scooched over to the side of the seat that faced the city and grabbing Seokjin's pinky you signalled him to scooch over to your side. Once he did you held his arm closely and pointed in front of you with your free hand.

The fog had just began to settle on the glass that you had wiped a while ago but it didn't blur out the view completely yet. The tireless city seemed so restful from high up there, like a reflection of the stars against the black night sky.

There was something so serene about the whole atmosphere that made Seokjin let out a small sigh. He looked at you and mumbled, "Thank you for this. It's so beautiful."

You kept your head on his shoulder and said softly, "Told you it'll be worth it."

Agreeing to you with a soft hum he slowly rested his head on yours and intertwined his fingers with yours.

Moments slipped by as both of you continued to watch the fog take over the glass cabin making the outside world obscure with its white veil.

You realised for the first time in a long while you and your boyfriend were having a moment when you could just sit there and not think about the cruel world outside. You wanted to hold onto this moment so when you got completely isolated from the outside view you lifted your head from his shoulder and went over to the opposite direction to turn on a switch which lighted up the cabin with built-in small fairy lights.

A series of giggles escaped Seokjin's mouth making you turn around and he asked you, "What else did you plan?"

"Just a few things.." you trailed off a little with a shy smile and sat beside him.

"I have something for you." You said softly with a smile but only you knew how your heart was beating at a fast pace.

But then you noticed something outside that made you squeal and you flipped a switch placed under the seat which made the roof of the cabin retract like a convertible car.

Snowflakes started to fall tenderly inside the cabin and you remarked while watching the flakes, "The first snowfall of the year…"

But Seokjin was more amazed by the cabin system so he couldn't hold back his amazement as he exclaimed, "Woah! When did the technology advance so much?"

"I designed it!" You replied proudly while pointing at the logo of the architect & manufacturing company you worked at.

"How many surprises are you hiding?" He asked and started looking through the whole cabin, "you even installed a heater in the pod! You were really thinking about this night while designing it, weren't you?" He placed his gaze on you.

"Well, the idea came into my mind two years ago when we visited the amusement park for Christmas and I thought how beautiful it would be to look over the city with you and enjoy a little bit of snowfall… It turned out to be better than beautiful!" You explained while pointing to the small heater, "but the heater is a temporary one only for this pod. May be in the next batch I'll think about ones with heaters installed in them."

When you turned to look at Seokjin you caught him staring at you with the gentlest smile and a heat rushed from your neck to the cheeks.

"Enough about my stupid project! This is your night! And I have one more thing for you." You winked at him and reaching into the inside pocket of your coat you pulled out a small box that had maroon velvet cover with a gold spotted silver ribbon tied on it and handed it to the curious man beside you.

"Ah! Why do you have to spend so much on this stupid day?" Seokjin whined shaking his head in disapproval.

"Because I want to!" You looked at him and mocked him by sticking your tongue out.

"Aish! It feels like you are my fan and you have got just some moments to spend with me and you are trying to make it as much special as possible!" He joked and started to untie the knot of the ribbon with the smile intact on his lips.

"Who knows? May be in some other universe I am!" You replied with a light shrug and brushed your fingers lightly on his hair along the line of the ear.

"Then I am sure I love you in that universe too!" He leaned a little on your palm and moving his head a little he placed a small kiss on your palm and then went back to unwrapping the gift.

You clenched your fist as he finished untying the ribbon. You could feel your chest tighten with every move of his fingers. You took back your hand that was resting loosely on his shoulder until now and tucked both of your hands in between your thighs and waited, holding your breath, for him to see what you got for him.

It's been a few seconds if you counted it correctly and yet the only expression on Seokjin's face was a blank one. His smile, that was just there before, had vanished too.

You still waited eagerly for his response as he sat there with the box in his left hand that had the couple ring inside of it that you had bought a week beforehand from the most famous wedding jewelry shop in the city and the note on his right hand that was previously inside the box under the rings – the note which said in your beautiful cursive handwriting, "Let's get married."

You could feel your heart sink a little bit when without saying anything Seokjin put the note inside the box and closed it. The expectant smile that you have been holding till now, you felt it fading rapidly.

He fumbled with the box for a moment as if he didn't know what to do with it and then he slowly took your hands and kept it there.

He looked into your wavering eyes and whispered, "I can't."

You blinked and felt a string of tears moisten your cold cheeks. Your lips quivered and you mouthed, barely able to speak under all the rush of emotions inside your chest that choked your heart causing an unbearable pain, "Why?"

Seokjin softly engulfed your hands in his big ones and kept his forehead on yours. You leaned on his and closed your eyes trying to prevent yourself from crying and said, "I know there's some stupid reason behind your answer."

He just shook his head in a no against yours.

Inhaling sharply you continued, "If I did something wrong then just tell me! What is it? Do you not love me anymore?"

At your words Seokjin held your cheeks gently and made you look up and locked his eyes with yours, "There will never be a single second when I won't love you with all of me."

"Then why?" You let out a mild scream and you let your tears fall freely.

"Because I can't support a family right now! I don't have a proper job! My dream… It's still so unsure and I can't burden you with me!"

You looked at him and blinked a few times as if processing what he had just said and you crunched your eyebrows, "What?"

Letting out a deep sigh you took your cupped face out of Seokjin's hands and wiped your tears.

Then you cupped Seokjin's face in your hands with quite a force gaining an "ow" from him.

"Stupid, idiot, dumb!" You felt your lost smile coming back.

Surprised at your response Seokjin found himself dumbfounded.

"Was this your reason? Seriously? We have been together for five whole years, love! And you come up with such a bullshit reason? Geez I thought you were going to leave me!" You pretended to scold him.

"What!? No! I am never leaving you! I.. I am just not ready yet.." Seokjin looked away and stared into the distance.

You laughed and leaving his face you sat close to him and while looking at your boot covered feet you said, "I know you know but still if I haven't made it clear enough you are never a burden… You have always been my only refuge, my safe place. And it gets so hard to wake up and find the other side of the bed empty or when I speak out and you are not there to reply, only the lonely apartment.. so I have been thinking about this for some time now that what if we could stay together and make you mine forever…" You smiled and sparing a quick glance at his own smiling self you continued, "Of course we can move in together but to call you my husband… I felt a strange chill run up my spine every time I thought about it.. so I just wanna say, not pressuring you or anything," you intertwined his pinky finger with yours, "that I can sustain for us both and I know you don't believe in all the gender stereotypical bullshits. But even after this you want to wait until you are ready, I am ready to wait for you." You rested your head on his shoulder once again, relieved that you were not losing him.

The silence that was prevailing in the air for a brief moment got cut off by a notification on Seokjin's phone. You kept on resting your head on his shoulder while he checked his phone.

"Hey!" He called out mildly after keeping the phone in his pocket.

"Hm?" You raised your head and looked at him.

"Let's get married." He said with a soft smile and glint in his eyes.

"What?" The question escaped your lips quite loudly as you looked at him with wide eyes.

"Hey! Stop kidding! What is this about?" You asked again after not getting a reply from Seokjin.

Seokjin grinned widely and exclaimed happily, "You remember the drama I auditioned for, right? They just emailed me. I am selected for the second male lead role!"

"What the fuck!??? I can't believe this! Kim Seokjin! You. Are. Going. To. Make. It. Big! You were whining a while ago about your dream! Ah! This is so exciting! How can you stay so fucking calm?" You shook your hand in the air as if shaking off all your worries and cupping Seokjin's chiseled face you placed a soft kiss on his lips.

Seokjin pouted at the short-lived kiss. You laughed – mostly because you were so happy and the rest because he was so cute. So you snaked your hand around his neck to pull him closer and locked your lips with his. He put his hands on your waist to pull you even closer, making you sit on his lap, resulting in you hugging him in the process.

Interlocking your legs around his waist you deepened the kiss. As you felt his tongue snaking around yours you lightly held onto the hair at the back of his head and sucked on his tongue. He smiled in the kiss and tugging on your lower lip with his teeth he whispered, "So, is that a yes?"

Freeing your lip from his grip you held his face to take a better look and then brushing the tip of your nose against his you whispered, "Yes! I can't stress it enough but it's always a yes!"

A blink worth time passed and you touched his lips with yours and murmured, "Now stop talking and kiss me!" You closed your eyes and drowned yourself in the embrace of him and his lips, not caring about the snow petals falling relentlessly against the growing night.

-•The End•-

76 notes · View notes

homerforsure · 3 years

Text

Whumptober No. 5

betrayal / misunderstanding / broken nose

(Hockey AU)

***

He’d always thought the night Jay took the picture would be the worst of it.

Buck’s hands were clutching the rails of Jay’s iron headboard, where Jay had wanted them, where Jay had placed them after stripping Buck of his clothes, saying “Don’t let go.” His slow, sexy, predatory smile was the last thing Buck saw before the silky black blindfold was tied in place. Jay was gone after that, climbing off the bed, telling Buck how good he looked and what he thought he might do and Buck had arched into the words until he was begging to be touched.

“Be patient,” Jay had purred, appeasing Buck with a single finger drawn shiveringly down his thigh. Buck could feel that he’d climbed back onto the bed, but Jay was too far away and he wasn’t teasing; he just wasn’t there. Stretching out longer on the mattress, trying to find him, he’d said, “What’s going on up there?”

Then the flash went off, the bright light cutting through the thin fabric of the blindfold. Jay swore, “Shit. Fuck,” and when Buck let go of the bed with one hand (one hand because maybe he misunderstood, maybe it was fine, maybe he’d laugh and put his hand back and they’d-)to push the tie away, he’d seen Jay, crouched above him with his phone in his hand.

If he’d asked, Buck might even have agreed. He liked posing. He liked having his body appreciated. But Jay’s expression was the alarm of being caught red-handed and Buck knew, knew with a sinking feeling of dread and betrayal, that Jay wasn’t just taking a memento to savor later. He was taking a picture of Rangers center Evan Buckley, naked, smirking, and vulnerable, to use exactly the way those kinds of pictures get used.

Buck forced Jay to delete the photo, made him prove that he’d done it, and then had somehow managed to get himself dressed and down to the street to get a ride without throwing up. His face burned the whole drive home and for half of the night.

And that was the worst of it until five years later. In a new city. When Buck was finally playing the way he’d always known he could. When he was finally earning the respect of his team and the hockey world at large. When he started thinking he might stay. That was when the anonymously authored post was retweeted and reblogged and shared and gleefully discussed on all corners of the hockey internet.

MY WILD NIGHT WITH AN NHL ALL STAR

The Good, the Bad, and the Kinky

His agent’s was the first text he saw when he got done with practice: “Do NOT respond yet. Call me first.”

It had taken another couple messages before Buck realized what he wasn’t supposed to respond to and in the meantime, the texts kept rolling in. Half of them from numbers he didn’t even have saved in his contacts.

“Dude, is that shit true?”

“Are you okay?”

“Do you know who it is?”

“You dog 😜”

“You never told me you were into that 👀”

“Ignore it, Buck.”

“We’re all with you.”

“Fuck that guy.”

“Hey if you need something to take your mind off of it💋💋💋”

“Evan, Mike from the Tribune. If you want to set the record straight, please give me a call.”

From the looks on the faces of his teammates as they tried to pretend they weren’t stealing glances at him, they were getting messages of their own. Hen was the first one to start to approach him with a look of concern, but Buck avoided her, grabbing his bag and sneaking out the door without bothering to hit the stationary bike like usual.

“What the hell did you do to piss this guy off?” Geoff said as soon as he answered Buck’s call. “More importantly, what else does he have on you?”

“Nothing!” Buck answered, nearly merging directly into another car as his hands shook on the steering wheel. “What do I do? How do I fix this?”

“I don’t know, Buckley. None of my other clients get up to shit like this. You need to get yourself a publicist. I’m going to get in touch with Grant and make sure they’re not already shopping you.”

His agent hung up and Buck’s phone continued to buzz and chime all the way back to his apartment.

There were cameras outside which there almost never were. Mostly only hockey fans cared about pictures of hockey players and the press was limited to the arena and their official events. Maybe one or two regular guys who Buck knew by name. It was just his luck that he lived in LA where there were almost more cameras than there were disasters to photograph.

“Buck! Do you know who the author is?”

“Have your teammates seen the post?”

“Are you worried about other former partners coming out with similar stories?”

Buck pushed past them, but the questions followed him inside. His phone didn’t stop. His mentions were a nightmare on every platform. He shut Twitter as soon as he opened it and saw his name in the trending topics. The statements put out by the Kings and Buck’s agent condemning the piece and the interest in it were drowned out by outlet after outlet picking up the post and sharing it out wider and wider.

Can you guess this NHL player by his sexcapades? (Hint: It’s exactly who you think)

Hockey players used to be the humble, hard working gentleman of sports. What happened?

Should the Kings trade Evan Buckley? Can they?

Nash should make Buckley sit for embarrassing the team like this.

Aw, man, don’t do that. Sitting’s a little tough for Buckley right now

🤣

And I thought it couldn’t get worse than the time he fucked that mascot in Carolina

{This post may contain explicit content}

😵‍💫

🤮

Excuse you, Gritty has standards

[98 more posts]

Whether from a latent masochistic streak or just because he didn’t want to look away and find that the story had gotten bigger while he was gone, Buck couldn’t stop refreshing the pages. He read Jay’s words over and over again as his stomach roiled. If it had all been lies, Buck wouldn’t have spent the morning pressed into the corner of his couch, hoodie pulled up over his head like armor. If it had all been lies, he could have made a fiery statement, condemning the mystery author and condemning everyone who thought they had a right to consume and critique another person’s sex life.

There were some lies, of course, but it was true enough that Buck’s heart clenched with it. True enough that he could remember how he felt when it was happening, during the three times they’d been together before the photo. Soft and desired and joyful. There was a part of him that was still exposed to Jay, that always would be, this man with the sharp wit and the sharp smile who got Buck bare, begging and biddable all to make him a joke. As he read the smug asides in the unforgiving narrative, he could hear Jay’s voice in his ear.

The sixth time he read it, there was an addition.

Edit: Ha ha wow this really blew up. Doing an AMA at 6 eastern if you’re looking for more dirty details.

And for the first time, Buck felt the burn of tears in his eyes. Furious. Powerless.

The buzz of his phone started making his skin crawl so he shoved it between the couch cushions and tried not to think about it. He sat with his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped tightly around, rocking just a little as he felt panic creeping in.

What else could Jay possibly have to say? Would he make up more and more audacious lies as long as he had an audience? Would an NHL team want to touch Buck when he was done?

Were there more pictures?

It was the fourth night, the night that Buck caught Jay. Not the first night with the blindfold. What if? Buck shuddered, sinking lower, deeper into the couch, folding himself tighter and smaller, trying to crush the mounting, hopeless fear. He was there for a long time.

When the gentle knock hit his door, Buck jumped and then crouched tighter into his ball. He didn’t answer. There was no one he could face right now.

The knock came again.

Then the door opened.

Buck was up like a shot, nearly falling over the coffee table as he whirled around toward the intruder. Eddie stood in the doorway, holding up one empty hand and pulling his key out of the door with the other.

“Just me.”

“What are you doing here?” Buck asked, shoving his hands into the pocket of his hoodie to hide the fact that he’d been digging his nails into his palms for the last hour.

“Well, you took off. And you weren’t answering your phone.”

Hot shame flushed across Buck’s skin. Eddie knew. Eddie had seen the article and the articles about the article and the tweets about the articles and been shouted at by the cameras outside and Buck wanted to sink into the floor.

“Notice you didn’t take the hint.”

The attitude in Buck’s response didn’t faze Eddie at all, “Do I ever?”

And that almost made Buck feel like smiling, because no, no he didn’t. He said, “No. But there’s always a first time.”

Eddie came a little further into the apartment and Buck felt crowded. Eddie always seemed to take up so much space around him. Maybe it was just that Buck felt his presence most strongly than anyone else’s. Especially when he was like this: arms crossed, focused, not letting Buck wiggle out of a conversation that he didn’t want to have.

This time was no exception. When Buck turned and went back to the couch, compulsively refreshing the comments on Jay’s post again as he went, Eddie followed right after him.

“I came by to make sure you were okay,” he said and Buck flinched again, hating that Eddie knew. Hating that the team knew.

“I’m fine,” he answered, keeping his eyes down and away from Eddie. “Coach is going to rip me a new one tomorrow, but my agent hasn’t called me to tell me I’m being traded so yet so I guess that’s-”

“Who the fuck said you were being traded?” His voice was loud enough that Buck looked up, surprised to see the intensity of anger in Eddie’s face.

“THN. NHL Network did a round table on it too, but they didn’t think anyone would take me. Oh, then Kirk Davis did a radio interview.”

Everyone had picked up those soundbites. Even through the heavily bleeped broadcast, the future hall-of-famer’s opinion on Buck had been crystal clear. At least that wasn’t new information for Buck. Davis had all but refused to shake Buck’s hand when he first joined the Predators and was a big part of why his tenure there had only lasted until the trade deadline.

“Kirk Davis is a fucking asshole. There’s a reason they never made him captain.”

“He’s not the only one who said it.”

“Then he’s not the only fucking asshole out there.” When he didn’t respond, Eddie came around the couch to stand face to face with him, noticing the open comments page as he did. “Christ, have you been reading that shit all day?”

Somehow it made Buck laugh. “It’s the same shit I’ve been reading for 8 years. Since I got drafted. Buckley’s a distraction to his team. Buckley’s an embarrassment to the game of hockey. Buckley cares more about getting laid and partying than he does about winning. It’s guys like Buckley that hurt the NHL.”

His voice pitched up as he recited the familiar accusations, staring somewhere over Eddie’s shoulder because Eddie already knew all this about him. Eddie was the opposite of Buck in every way. He would never make himself the center of attention. He’d never do anything to make his teammates ashamed to play with him. He’d never be so stupid as to go home with a guy like Jay.

“Buckley’s finally getting what he deserves.” Buck whispered.

“Look at me,” Eddie said. When Buck couldn’t, Eddie reached out, setting a light hand on his shoulder that got tighter when Buck tried to shrug out of the hold. “Hey. Look at me.”

He moved his head into the space where Buck was staring into the middle distance and waited. Until Buck couldn’t help but flick his gaze to meet Eddie’s. Once he did, he found a furious compassion that startled him.

“You don’t deserve this, Buck. You did nothing to deserve this. It is not your fault. Nobody in our room thinks it is. Bobby doesn’t think it is.”

Buck shuddered under the weight of the words. He wanted to pull himself free and he wanted to step in closer, “My agent told me I should own it. Post a couple thirst traps and a middle finger on instagram and just wave it off like another classic Evan Buckley weekend.”

There was a time when he would have. Times when he had. But this wasn’t a ridiculous paparazzi photo outside a bar, it was… It was private. It hurt.

As if reading his mind, Eddie said, “That’s not what this is. Fire him if he wants to make you pretend this is okay.”

“I just keep thinking if I was anyone else. If I was someone good, they’d all go after him and not me. I didn’t even do anything to him, Eddie. I didn’t-”

Before he could finish his sentence, Eddie tugged him forward and his arms were tight around his back. Buck should have tried to fight it, but he couldn’t help but fall against his chest and cling on. “You are someone good,” Eddie said, making Buck’s breath hitch. “And if you weren’t, it wouldn’t matter. It’s wrong. They’re wrong.”

“I shouldn’t have trusted him,” Buck confessed into the soft fabric of Eddie’s shirt. “I was so stupid back then. I just wanted- I wanted him to like me. And I’m still- It still hurts that he didn’t. How fucked up is that? He did this. And I still just wish he liked me.”

One of Eddie’s hands moved up to cradle the back of Buck’s head. They were swaying, just a little, Eddie rocking them gently. “I know,” he said. “I’m so sorry.”

He managed to keep from crying, but Buck couldn’t stop his breath from coming out in soft, stuttering gasps. Couldn’t keep his fingers from digging into Eddie’s back. If he thought about it, he could imagine this post too (Evan Buckley cried like a baby on my shoulder AMA), but Eddie would never do that. The warm heat of him against Buck’s chest was like a blanket hiding him from the world. It was the most vulnerable he’d been all day and the most sheltered.

Eddie didn’t let go until Buck pulled back and even then he didn’t go far, “Have you eaten since practice?”

“I didn’t think I’d be able to without throwing up,” Buck said honestly.

“Do you want to order something from-”

The timer on Buck’s laptop shrieked and they both jumped. Eddie recovered quickly, but Buck’s heart leapt into his throat. He’d almost forgotten. How could he have forgotten? Pulling away from Eddie, he turned off the timer and refreshed the post, looking for the link he knew would be there.

“Come on, Buck, really?”

Eddie reached out to slam the laptop closed, but Buck shoved his hand in the way. “I have to, Eddie. He’s doing an AMA. I have to-”

“I’m not going to let you torture yourself reading what a bunch of sick assholes have to say, Buck. No way.”

“I have to.”

“No, you-”

“Yes, I do!” He shouted it, standing up to look Eddie in the eye. “I have to read it. I have to see it now because if- if- if I wait and it gets reposted- I have to know if he has- I have to-”

“Buck,” Eddie said, putting his hands on Buck’s arms, trying to rub calmness back into him even as Buck’s heart-rate accelerated. “What does he have? What could be worse than what he already-”

“Pictures,” Buck yelled. “I have to know if he has pictures.”

A dark, dark look came over Eddie’s face and he stopped rubbing Buck’s arms to squeeze instead. “You think he has pictures?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Buck whimpered. He saw himself as if from above, stretched out long and lewd against Jay’s sheets. He imagined ten thousand other people seeing it. “He took- I caught him taking one. Once. But I don't know if it was the only one. I don’t- I can’t let them get out. If he has them, I have to know. I have to report the post. I have to-”

“No,” Eddie said.

“Yes, Eddie. I have-”

“I hear you. Okay? I hear you, but I’m not letting you do that. I’m not letting you put any more of that garbage in your head.”

“Eddie.”

“I’ll do it. I’ll report every goddamn post.” Lifting one hand, Eddie stroked a thumb softly along Buck’s hairline. “Let me do it. Let me protect you.”

Buck swallowed hard, fear and relief and longing fighting for control of the tears that were building up again. He didn’t want Eddie to see any of that. He didn’t want Jay’s words in Eddie’s head. But Buck really really didn’t want them in his own. He wanted someone to protect him. “Thank you,” he said, falling forward again to rest his head on Eddie’s shoulder.

“I’ve got you,” Eddie replied, rubbing his hands firmly up Buck’s back.

Eddie wouldn’t let Buck sit on the couch while he monitored the thread. He fished Buck’s phone out of the couch and made him answer the important messages. From Maddie. From Bobby. From Hen and Chimney. Then he’d told him to order food from the Lebanese place they always ordered from when Eddie came over, asking for extra of the pickled turnips. All the while, Eddie’s fingers slammed onto the keyboard, that sound the only reaction he gave to any of the posts.

It should have been unbearable, letting Eddie comb through the messages. Even without seeing them, Buck knew what they were like. He blocked people every week for the same kind of thing. But Eddie had a defense against them that Buck never had: he didn’t believe they were true. Not even a little bit. He didn’t believe there was a chance that Buck was getting what he deserved for being a show off, for never being a points leader, for being open and soft hearted, for being himself. Eddie believed Buck deserved to be protected and he was ruthless about it.

“No pictures,” he said, a while later, when Jay had finally stopped replying to every comment on the page. “And the rest of it is… well. It’s nothing new.”

“Really?”

“Really. I think it’s done.”

Eddie closed the laptop as if by making that gesture of finality, he could make the words true. Buck, allowed back on his own couch, let himself believe it too. Let himself lean into the safety of Eddie’s arm over his shoulders, breathing in a deep sigh of relief as they caught the Canucks game.

The next morning, Jay’s story was hardly anywhere to be seen. It was replaced. By an essay in The Players’ Tribune. It excoriated Jay. It called out Kirk Davis by name and hundreds of online posters by their bad intentions. It praised Buck’s grace, tenacity, and backhand shot and it demanded respect and compassion and privacy from anyone who called themselves a hockey fan. And it wasn’t anonymous.

#whumptober2021 #no. 5 #betrayal #fic #911 #hanging out at the angst end of the spectrum #911fic #evan buckley #eddie diaz #hockey au #allison can’t write a short fic to save her life #minimal edits #messy ending #questionable formatting #230 am #😴

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miraculouscontent · 3 years

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Kagami and Marinette deserve so much better.

Anyway, let’s just start literally where this episode starts, because it makes no sense. Remember back in my “Truth” critique where I basically said that the episode seemed like it’d been shoved through multiple drafts and no one checked the final one?

Same applies here.

Like--okay, ”Truth” and “Lies” take place at roughly the same time, which means that the same filler akuma/sentimonsters appear to interrupt Adrimi’s moments just as they did with Lukanette’s, giving its audience a clear timeline of how the episodes line up. The reason this is important is because the writers can’t even keep consistency within singular episodes and then honestly thought that they could do it within two.

“Lies” begins with Marinette talking to Tikki about the grimoire, because apparently she has the non-translated version and there’s a secret to figuring out the code that Tikki believes Marinette will discover eventually.

...Alright, I’m derailing here but I have to add how absolutely stupid Fu was when dealing with translating the grimoire. He was supposed to teach Marinette how to be guardian, yet he didn’t teach her how to read the grimoire (if there’s supposedly a “secret” to it, is he really going to bank on Marinette figuring it out herself eventually instead of just giving it to her and avoid the risk altogether??), kept the translated pages on his tablet without sending them to Marinette as he deciphered them, and took time to write a letter to her in “Miracle Queen” but left no guardian-centric advice for her to work off of, meaning that Tikki had to explain how the Miracle Box worked to Marinette back in “Truth.”

The show goes out of its way constantly to turn everything against Marinette even if it makes all the characters around her look either incompetent or cruel. It’s not that I’m not used to this by now but it’s just infuriating that it keeps trying to raise the stakes and tension when Marinette made such a tiny mistake to cause the issue in the first place, and now we find out that Fu had no back-up plan or strategy, apparently expecting this 14-year-old girl to act perfectly and cover for him.

And of course, instead of leaving the scene off on Marinette being encouraged by Tikki and Marinette showing confidence in herself (i.e: what would’ve been a nice scene), the kwami accidentally fumble with the keyboard in such a way to have Marinette’s computer bring up a news story about Adrien, which leads to Marinette leaning towards her computer and sighing over Adrien and his “amazing life.”

Can I just point out how annoying it is that all the Adrienette moments so far on Marinette’s end have been forced, not just in general (because we’re used to that), but literally forced by the plot so Marinette would talk about him or other characters would bring Adrien up?

“Truth” had Alya insult Marinette to her face over her Adrien crush because Marinette was freaking over something non-Adrien related that they couldn’t have known about, Luka was sent a no-context picture of Marinette’s Adrien wall which led to him lowkey teasing her about it, and then Truth was forced to listen to Marinette’s friends and Tom babble about Marinette’s supposed crush on Adrien even when Truth points out that it’s not a secret, making the “joke” fall absolutely flat.

And now “Lies” comes along and has the kwami drop things and step on the keyboard in the exact way to pull up Adrien stuff for Marinette to fawn over. It’s at this point I’m realizing that - had the kwami stayed inside the box or just not been around in general - Marinette literally wouldn’t have brought up Adrien at all in either “Truth” or “Lies” and now I’m sad. I really don’t want to have a counter for “episodes where Marinette wouldn’t have so much as breathed Adrien’s name if the kwami/someone else wasn’t there to force it.”

So yeah, the episode had to force Adrienette into its Adrimi episode because the show can’t go five minutes without reminding the audience that Adrien exists even though this episode is primarily from his point of view, made worse by this scene’s lack of ability to exist.

See, from the timeline in “Lies” lining up with “Truth,” there is no possible way for this opening scene with Marinette talking about guardian stuff and then fawning over Adrien to happen. There’s an akuma scene in “Lies” that literally is just copy-pasted from “Truth” (it actually does this again with another scene later but that’s not important right now), so that means anything that takes place before said scene in both “Truth” and “Lies” have to line up.

Except they can’t. The akuma scene in question interrupts Marinette’s movie date with Luka in “Truth,” and before that, she had just opened the Miracle Box, wrangled up the kwami, talked to the girl squad over video call, talked to Luka, and then immediately had to leave. There are no cuts or wiggle room anywhere in there.

Therefore, the scene in “Lies” is impossible. Either the scene is supposed to go elsewhere in the episode (we don’t actually know how many days it takes up so it’s hard to say on that front) which just makes the episode even more convoluted, or this means that one would have to pick between the scene in “Truth” and the scene in “Lies” because they literally cannot co-exist.

“Lies” was supposed to coincide with “Truth” and they messed it up in the first scene of the episode.

Then comes Adrien himself, who really shows the series’ clunkiness in focusing on other characters. It’s not that I’m against the show moving away from Marinette to show other people’s point-of-view (I definitely didn’t complain during the Couffaine sibling scene in “Reflekdoll”), but Adrien cannot carry his own episode.

In Marinette’s opening scene, we immediately got details on the grimoire and lore about how reading it actually worked. I didn’t like it and it wasn’t good, but it was new information.

Adrien, meanwhile, spends a large portion of the episode being sad (a very grand and unique plot, my dudes) and giving us information we already know. “Truth” has to come first because “Lies” is half of a follow-up on it, meaning that the audience is already aware that Ladybug has been forgetful and has had to miss out on patrols. It’s just that now we get to see Chat Noir sulking about it and--okay, I am just going to go off, alright?

Firstly, Chat Noir tells Ladybug later on that he “understands” her guardian duties, but he previously mocked her behind her back by using air quotes when he was talking to her answering machine (since she obviously wouldn’t see that). We saw in “Truth” where he admitted that he doesn’t mind her being guardian “as long as it doesn’t change their relationship,” and that’s on display right here with his comments.

Not only is it extremely disrespectful, but for someone who claims to be so loyal and understanding to Ladybug, he sure doesn’t show it.

Secondly, he leaves her a message about how he’ll take care of patrol, then proceeds to slack off because she’s not there to keep him in check. He sulks around Paris, mumbling about how Ladybug isn’t around and constantly checking his messages to see if she’s replied to him. Chat Noir has shown his “priorities” in terms of heroism before, but patrol isn’t supposed to be about getting time with “““his lady”““ yet that is clearly all he cares about. He even ends the patrol unprompted, either giving up or just generally having not finished, because I don’t believe that the “end” of patrol just happened to be at the place Kagami was.

Patrol is about protecting Paris and scoping things out. Ladybug is trusting him to pick up the slack when she’s not around and he should be picking up slack, yet he has completely failed on that front. This is made worse when considering that the Season 3 finale had Ladybug breaking down to him from guilt and we know that Marinette had a breakdown before that to Luka, yet Chat is doing nothing to lighten Ladybug’s burden, putting up a falsehood on Ladybug’s answering machine to make him look better than he actually is.

Then, thirdly and most importantly/infuriatingly, Chat Noir knows that Ladybug is busy and he knows that she’s taking on a new responsibility, yet he not only jabs at her for “how hurtful it is when she leaves him to patrol alone” (one, cry me a river, and two, I don’t care if it’s a joke, it’s insensitive), but before that scene, he was actively hoping for people to get akumatized so Ladybug would be forced to show up and he could spend time with her. He egged Xavier Ramier on, even asking him if he “missed being Mister Pigeon,” and then looked on with glee as Chloe bullied Sabrina because he thought that an akumatization might happen.

And this is on top of so many other issues with this whole scene. Adrien complains all the time about his schedule and how restrictive his father is, but suddenly - in the episode right after Marinette had to break up with her boyfriend due to her cramped schedule - is lounging around and wasting time. It hurts to see Marinette suffering from all of her responsibilities while Chat’s biggest problem is how little time he gets with Ladybug.

Also, another point on Mister Pigeon is that that’s the akuma that had interrupted Marinette’s movie date and kiss with Luka. I’m not suggesting that Chat egging Xavier on led to him getting akumatized, but I am saying that Chat wanting akuma to happen with no regard for Ladybug’s happiness is yet another point on the list of why I hate the love square. Marinette genuinely forgot about patrol with him - genuinely was forgetting about everything, really - and as a “punishment,” her own partner whined, didn’t patrol properly, and egged on an akumatization that eventually ended up happening which then broke up the little bit of happiness that the universe was allowing her to have.

Oh, and did I mention that he’s also dating Kagami at the time as well because here we freaking go.

Now, I did not get on Marinette’s case for her Adrien wall and stammering because Luka is largely aware of where she stands in the relationship and she only brought Adrien up when someone else did, even when Luka wasn’t around or being mentioned. Adrien, however, I have multiple bones to pick with, starting with how utterly needy he is for Ladybug’s attention.

This guy has tons of friends, all these fans, and could get people to flock to him whether in or out of the mask, but he wants Ladybug, and anyone not Ladybug isn’t good enough. There’s a scene later in the episode where Kagami - his girlfriend, mind you - is pouring her heart out to him, and he gets distracted by Ladybug instead of listening to her. Even when he excuses the distraction, he then gets distracted again even though Ladybug is no longer in the background.

Lying to protect his identity is one thing, but what Adrien does to Kagami goes beyond that. He’s pining after and flirting with another girl and Kagami has no idea. She’s speculated before that Adrien likes Marinette, but she’s mostly left in the dark because Adrien hasn’t told her anything, nor has he confirmed with her whether it’s okay or not for him to flirt with other girls so long as he’s not pursuing them. He could’ve admitted that he was in love with Ladybug but that he wants to try things with Kagami, but he refuses to open up to her or put himself out there.

Except, he technically does, once, when Kagami tells him to pose for her and he strikes his transformation stance, but he caught her completely off-guard and it’s no wonder why she was put off by it or thought it was unnatural. Not only that, but when Kagami tells him that he’s acting like a clown in that scene, we can see by jumping back to “Truth” that Chat Noir fished for Ladybug’s compliments which then led to a line about him talking about how Ladybug enjoyed him acting like a clown; a direct connection.

Kagami didn’t validate him, so he fished for Ladybug to do so because Ladybug was both forced to answer the question and wasn’t able to lie to him. The show has Ladybug state that her most preferred trait of his is his humor but I am certainly not laughing.

Chat Noir even goes further after the fight with Truth (so another copy-pasted scene) by saying that he has the most fun with Ladybug specifically, and this is all while he’s still dating.

Then this guy has the gall to talk during his break-up about how his fun times with Kagami weren’t lies after apologizing to her for his constant lying, as if he’s trying to earn her sympathy when we know that he’s been pining after Ladybug and flirting with her like she were his number one when he already had a girlfriend waiting for him (and who, by the way, had covered for him earlier and was sitting sadly on a staircase outside, feeling abandoned). The episode presents the break-up as if Adrien’s problem was the fact that he had to constantly lie to Kagami due to being busy with hero work (which is already dumb when we also saw him lounging around and complaining about how nothing was happening, meaning he was inadvertently supportive of the idea of having less time with Kagami and more time with Ladybug even if that means Paris is in danger), but the real problem ends up being that Adrien neglected Kagami emotionally and wasn’t able to give her the attention she wanted.

It’s both sad and annoying that Adrien has always sulked about his dad not paying attention to him and then we get Adrien not paying attention to Kagami, looking for Ladybug when Ladybug had already left and Kagami is trying to tell him something very important.

This is what I mean when I say that Adrien can’t carry an episode on his own. He’s incredibly selfish and most of his dialog just involves him complaining about Ladybug or making excuses. Kagami carried the episode more than he did because more details were revealed about her - specifically the fact that she likes drawing - and she’s active in making things happen (being the one to make the excuse to set up their fencing lessons, deciding what they’ll do with their hour of free time, etcetera).

And regardless of what girl he’s interacting with, Adrien can’t respect either of them. I just talked about Kagami and I’ve already talked about how he treats Ladybug when she’s not even around, but now we get to how he treats Ladybug when she is around.

During the climax of the fight with Lies, where Ladybug requires a distraction to safely pull off her lucky charm, Chat Noir decides - without Ladybug’s input - to sacrifice himself yet again.

I have to stress that Ladybug is stressed and Chat has always talked about her plans and listening to her, yet he has a horrible habit of making decisions all on his own and letting Ladybug deal with the fallout. Whenever he has the chance, he’ll throw himself in front of her and take the big hit, presumably with the mindset that Miraculous Ladybug will fix everything so it’s not like it matters.

Ladybug even shouts at him when he hints at what he’s about to do and there was absolutely time for them to talk about it, but Chat Noir just lets himself fall and be bait, even throwing out what is a clear confession (again, while he’s still dating someone else) before he’s knocked unconscious by Lies’ power.

And when Ladybug yells at him for it when everything’s said and done, pounding at his chest and looking absolutely upset over the whole thing? He not only brushes her off, but he boops her nose and talks about how “irresistable” her “angry little pout” is.

He might as well have just said, “you’re cute when you’re angry,” because that’s exactly what he’s implying; that Ladybug’s anger is something “amusing” to him and not something he takes seriously. We’ve already seen it before in “Reflekdoll” and “Oblivio” as well, so this is just a continuation of already-annoying behavior.

Then, instead of Ladybug getting even angrier for it, the episode has her smile at him, which not only isn’t a normal reaction compared to how she’s reacted before, but now gives the impression that she’s being conditioned by the narrative to accept Chat Noir’s behavior in whatever shape or form it takes.

Because think about it: regardless of how upset Ladybug gets over Chat Noir, it never works out for her and she’s forced to either make up with him quickly or just get over it because she can’t be fighting with her partner (meanwhile, like in “Glaciator,” Chat Noir can be as upset as he wants and she’ll apologize first). She presumably would now have the authority to take away his ring by virtue of being guardian, but he’s also been her partner from the beginning and he’s had so much time to get used to the cat. Most likely, she would sooner blame herself for failing to reign him in than blame him for failing as an adequate partner.

There’s nothing she can do. She has to deal with the hand that she’s been dealt and getting angry at him has done nothing; rejecting him has done nothing.

And of course the episode throws everything under the rug in the ending with an insulting LadyNoir scene where Ladybug and Chat Noir talk about the secrets their forced to keep but also how they can trust each other.

Meanwhile, Ladybug has no idea of all the things Chat Noir has done behind her back. She still has no clue about “Copycat,” nor “Syren,” nor any of the stuff he did in this episode that she’ll probably never know about. Factor it in with “Miraculous New York” (whether one considers it canon or not) where she rightfully shouted at him because he betrayed her trust, and here we are one and a half episodes later (since “Truth” and “Lies” take place at similar times) where suddenly they’re all buddy-buddy and Chat Noir doesn’t have to deal with any consequences to his selfishness.

I’m glad that Kagami didn’t forgive Adrien in the end (even if I’m upset that she doesn’t know how bad it really was) because she had every right to walk away and not want to be friends with him. I only wish that Ladybug could do the same thing and never look back, but due to the love square’s status as endgame, we know that can’t happen, and Ladybug will eventually be forced to fall in love with a guy who mocked her responsibilities behind her back, disrespected her authority by opting to tease/flirt with her, continued pursuing her despite her rejections, and hoped for Paris to be in danger just so he could see her.

And... yeah, that hurts. It really does.

#category: salt #episode: Lies #other: ask and answer #other: ml spoilers

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bitchesgetriches · 2 years

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Hey! I read your blog a lot, and it’s helped me so much in my career/life journey. Recently I started a new job, but I started applying to new jobs and I’m open to interviews at other companies while I figure out if this work place is the right environment for me. There’s bad communication at this job and for the most part when people are stressed and it shows in a lot of interactions. As of right now I still like this place. What’s worrying is my department supervisor is being weird with me. In team “brainstorm” meetings he calls me out for so many little things, yet he scheduled meetings with me twice a week to go over training with me instead of it being my boss. His reasoning is that my boss is swamped. In these meetings he will give me a compliment followed by detailed, harsh critique, and then end the meeting by telling me I’m doing great work. Yet in our biweekly brainstorm meetings he talks over my suggestions and is aggressive at every turn. It’s whiplash. I’ve been here two months, and at first the trainings were short and helpful but I don’t know why they need to continue especially since I’m not being given that much relevant information by him anymore. He’s also recently assigned me to a much bigger project responsibility, which while good I can’t help feel weary about it because it’s that much of a step up from what I was doing before. When I asked him if we could have less meetings he was taken aback but said he could re work our schedule to once a month. He then emailed me saying that when he interviewed me he remembered me saying I had career aspirations to be in a different department sector and he saw great potential for me in this company, hence the fact I was doing so much one on one training. But still the intensity and frequency with which he talks to me is a lot. Especially since I’m realizing he doesn’t treat other employees this way. I can’t help but feel like I need to be guarded around him and I’m getting more and more uncomfortable. Nothing has ever crossed a line, so maybe I’m overreacting because I’ve never had a job be invested in my career like this? I told my friends and boyfriend and they all kind of agree that it’s weird but not worrying, and ultimately a good sign for my future at this company. Still my gut says that I should be worried. I feel like I initiated this because I originally emailed him asking for feedback since he kept calling me out, and in reality I was eager to show that I could handle the work load. Another part of me keeps worrying maybe I am messing up this much and I should be seeing this as a warning sign to me getting fired

Honey, I'm so sorry to say but I laughed through your question. Not at YOU--you are perfect and wonderful in every way. But at your department supervisor. Because he has CLEARLY taken a class on "how to properly train and mentor up-and-coming employees" and is now beating you to death with what he learned. This isn't your fault. And if you haven't worked in the white collar sector for multiple years, it can be hard to recognize the signs.

But the mixed messaging--complimenting you, then giving harsh feedback, then complimenting you again--is a trick called "sandwiching." You sandwich harsh criticism between positive reinforcement to take away the sting of the criticism. This guy just... is not being smooth about it.

Anyway, that's what's going on. So while it's annoying and abrasive, it doesn't mean you're in danger of losing your job. Definitely keep taking interviews elsewhere though, because it sounds like you'd rather not put up with his overbearing "mentoring" style in the long term. Here's a little more advice that could help:

Season 2, Episode 6: "Someone Offered to Mentor Me! How Do I Be a Non-Sucky Mentee?"

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broadwayandnetflix · 3 years

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OMG- BO FIC REQUEST

a fluffy fic where he takes you out to a fancy dinner. picks you up at your house & meets your parents, driving to the place, all that pizazz- and more if you decide to write! Im a big fucking sucker for the romantics as you can see LMFAO.

Meet The Parents - Bo Burnham x Reader

Warnings: Language

Theme: Fluff! Slight bit of Angst.

Word Count: 2.6k

A/N: picture this as like his what tour cause it fits up with the college timeline hoes. also, I hope you like that I added an airport, cause rom-com shit amirite? I’ll stop. wooooooo this is so long. I hope y’all like essays cause fuck.

It had been too long since you had last seen your boyfriend, Bo. The two of you had met in college at NYU briefly before he dropped out to pursue his comedy career.

Of course, you have been supportive. Why wouldn’t you be? You just really missed him, especially when he went on long tours, you in school, and him touring the world.

The two of you kept in touch. Bo often taking the time to call you before or after a show to hear your voice and call himself down. You knew what they did to his anxiety, and not being able to hold each other was difficult for the both of you.

He’d do the same for you, without a shadow of a doubt. Especially when school was stressing you out, and exams and essays were becoming a pain in the ass to handle. Even if it was just little funny texts or messages, he helped you.

It’s what you did for each other. You were a team, even if it was states away from each other. Except, luckily for you, his tour was ending soon. Or it should be, judging by the tiny calendar of dates that he gave you.

It was nearing Thanksgiving Break, and it just didn’t seem applicable that you’d be able to meet up in time. Given the short week window and Bo riding down from nearly a year of touring.

So you didn’t say much, as you packed your bags for the week and left for your home state.

The airplane ride wasn’t that bad. You wished that you had Bo beside you, cracking jokes to calm the inevitable way that your heart would jolt when you went up in the air. Unlike Bo, you absolutely hated flying.

Earbuds in, you strolled into the airport a tad bit jet-lagged and went to grab a bite from a small coffee shop. Slipping the cashier a twenty, you walked the airport in search of your luggage.

Through a sea of people, you trudged, already feeling fatigued and just wanting a nap. You didn’t even realize that you were gonna run smack dab into someone. That is until their hand shot up and held you steady.

You laughed pathetically and cringed quickly, going to apologize, hoping that the person who caught you would just keep moving on. Except, they still stood in front of you, silent as ever.

“Hey man look I’m so sorry, I’m just so tired I didn’t even see where I was going.” you mumbled before realizing just who you were speaking to.

Bo.

You froze, staring at the man in pure confusion. How was he here when he was supposed to still be on tour? You rubbed your eyes, wondering if he’d still be there when you reopened them.

News flash, Bo was still there. Fuck.

“Holy shit,” you murmured, realizing your hands were still full with your bag, phone, and lunch.

God, you were gonna cry; this wasn’t happening. He looked so fucking good, the glasses, the hair.

He watched you quietly, a soft smile resting upon his lips. While you clumsily pull on his arm to get out of the ongoing traffic of people around you, preferably a spot with a place to put your stuff.

Your tall boyfriend lumbering after you unbeknownst to you, trying to compose himself. It had practically been months since he had seen you last, and you had never looked more beautiful.

Once you set them down gently, you practically ran into the man’s arms. His bags gently fall to the floor as his arms are securely wrapped around you. Nearly lifting you off the ground.

The two of you rocked gently in the embrace, completely lost in each other. Bo resting his head on top of yours, pressing soft kisses upon your head. Tears softly pour down your cheeks and onto his shirt. Giving him enough time to wipe them away and plant a soft kiss against your lips.

“Bo, what are you doing here? I thought you were still on tour.” you sniffled, still wrapped up in his arms.

“Managed to make things work, I wanted to see you. Or I was gonna try and surprise you at the gate, but you kinda…ran into me.” Bo smirked, looking down at you.

“Well you definitely surprised me, man I really missed you.” you said quietly.

“Honey, you don’t understand how long I’ve waited for this moment. I swear my agents are probably sick and tired of me talking about you.” he exclaimed, causing you to smile.

This long-distance was really starting to get to the two of you; of course, his tour was gonna be over soon. Except, especially two different states away from each other, it made your heart hurt.

Moments like these, you wanted to just pause the time and exist in them forever. It seemed like between the two of you, you were running out of time. Just how much time exactly?

It was almost as if he could sense the hesitation as he swept up his bags and yours in the process.

“Just realized, we’ve got places to be.” he chirped, and you eyed him curiously.

“Like where?” you said, grabbing your coffee and bag from the coffee shop.

“Patience is a virtue my dear.” he tuts and slips his hand between yours. “Now, where’s your luggage terminal?”

It was roughly a forty-minute drive from the airport to your place. Bo had rented a car for the next couple of days, so it was smooth sailing from that point on.

Bo behind the wheel, and you are sitting in the passenger trying to figure out what music to play.

It didn’t help that you were in the car with a comedian, as whatever song you picked, Bo would pretend to critique it. Only sending you into a fit of hysterics.

“Oh okay, well you pick the music then!” you cried, pretending to stare daggers at him.

“I’ve got something for you, it’s this brand new artist I found while on tour.” he grinned, looking over at you briefly before focusing back on the road.

“His name is….Bo Burnham I think? I could be wrong? He was good-“ he said nonchalantly before earning a quick swipe to his arm from you.

“God, you look cute when you’re angry. You’re missing out on that Bo Burnham guy, he’s got potential.” he said.

“I hate you.” you giggle before finding a more comfortable position in the car.

“Oh shit you know what I just realized?” Bo yelped, causing you to slightly jolt in your seat.

“What?”

“Isn’t this the first time I’m meeting your parents?” he asked, causing you to slightly stiffen in your seat.

Technically, yes. It wasn’t like your parents didn’t know, it’s more so that there was never really a good time for them to meet. You wondered what they’d think, dating someone who dropped out of college to pursue comedy.

Not that your parents were judgmental. They wanted you to be happy, as any parents would. You just were worried if they wouldn’t respect and love Bo as much as you did. It had been close to two years at this point; what else did you have to lose?

“You are right, oh dear god. I wonder how that’s gonna go, hopefully well, right?” you ask, more so to yourself than Bo.

“Oh please, I’m great with people’s parents. Plus, they raised you, I’m sure they are great people. Babe, you’ve got nothing to worry about.” he reassured before continuing on the route.

It wasn’t long before he pulled into your family driveway, pulling the car into park, quickly placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“You ready?” he says quietly, looking at you sweetly.

You eyed the front door before looking back and meeting his eyes, nodding, as he leaned in to give you a quick kiss.

God, you missed those.

“Here goes nothing.” you smirk before slipping out of the passenger side and gather your bags.

Bo now follows suit as you knock on the door, his taller frame towering over you. One hand pressed on the small of your back, holding you steady.

The front door opens with a swing, with your mother greeting you at the door. A firm grin upon her lips as she rushes out to hug you, your father appearing behind her.

“Oh I’m so glad you were able to come home! We missed you so much!” she exclaims, squeezing you tighter.

Before giving you a slight nudge and knowing look towards Bo, who had remained oblivious, while he shook hands with your father.

All of you gather inside your house, Bo taking control of the conversation when acceptable.

Sitting down at the kitchen table, your parents are engulfed in his stories and laughing at his jokes. All the while getting to know the man that you loved so much.

Bo was pretty much a natural when it came to impressing others, and you knew it wasn’t gonna be an issue with your parents.

The two of you answering almost any questions, Bo excitingly telling the story of how the two of you met.

“Oh I almost forgot, I need you to do me a favor.” Bo murmured when the two of you had a moment to be alone.

You looked up at him in confusion before he mentioned something about dressing up nice. A knowing look upon his lips before giving you a slight wink and walking off towards the guest room.

There you stood, gaping like a fish in wonderment at what he possibly could be planning. Slowly walking into your childhood bedroom, looking for anything that would meet his description of nice.

You settled for something that you wore to a formal gathering that still managed to fit you. Giving yourself a quick look in the mirror, you left your bedroom to find Bo standing there.

You had to hold back a gasp; the man looked rather handsome in a dress shirt and pants. His hair was nicely done, and his hand gestured out for you to take.

“Bo what is all this for?” you exclaim, as he only smirks and leads you towards the front door.

“Shut up, I’ve been wanting to take you out for months.” he says as he opens it and leads you towards his car.

The man practically doing the whole nine yards, all the while you looking at him in pure wonderment. Of course, the two of you had been on dates prior, but never like this.

You had to practically stop yourself from grinning as he suavely got into the driver’s side of the car., Giving a quick glance over at you unbeknownst to you, trying not to melt at how gorgeous you looked.

“Where are we going?” you ask as he starts the car slowly pulling out of the driveway.

“You ask a lot of questions my dear.” he says, keeping his eyes focused on the road.

“Oh shit is this my execution?” you smirk as he dramatically nods.

“Babe, how the hell did you find out? Who told you? Was it my manager? I knew she’d rat me out!” he exclaims.

“You know I had to be certain, you did make me dress up all nice and all.” you play along, grinning ear to ear.

“Oh well, I can’t give away the entire surprise so zip it with the questions sweetie.” he quips as he continues the drive.

It’s not long before he pulls into a fancy Italian restaurant, way out of your usual pay range. You could feel your stomach do somersaults, giving the man an incredulous look.

Bo simply grins as he gets out of the car, rushing over to open yours for you. Eyes wide, still staring at him like he was fucking insane. He shakes his head and carefully pulls you out of the car.

“Now no complaints. Or whatever you plan to do. I’m paying, I’ve been wanting to treat you like this for over a year now. I’m doing it, and I’m gonna enjoy doing it.” Bo huffs, all dignified.

You simply nod in disbelief before he slips his hand within yours. While he enters the restaurant, he mentions his reservations to the hostess, and they seat you at a table.

Once the butterflies subsided in your stomach, you took the attention of the man in front of you. Never had anyone done something like this for you. You were trying to not look like a genuine fool with the smile you wanted to express.

You knew he was the one for you, but the way that he had looked at you. The pure adoration in his eyes and how he had planned everything, you were practically melting.

“I love you.” you whisper, wondering if he could hear it.

He did.

Bo looked up from his menu, a blush now practically kissing his cheeks. He dimples, rising at the declaration before reaching across the table since he was large enough to kiss you gently.

He was quick enough as the waitress came over to take your order. That goofy lovesick grin still plastered across his face as he straightened up in his seat.

The two of you ordering whatever looked best on the menu, clinking glasses when they arrived and looking dreamily into each other’s eyes.

“Man, I missed you. Like I know I say it a lot, but I mean I did. Going on tour is….well it’s lonely. I know you’re still in school, but sweetie. When I’m done, you’ll be sick of me. I promise.” Bo said insistently.

“No I won’t, I’m sure it’s gonna be the other way around. I don’t know if I say it enough, but I really am proud of you. I am so proud to call you my boyfriend, to call you mine. I don’t mind waiting.” you say quietly.

“How did I get so lucky?” he paused, eyeing the plates of food that were coming your way.

“Thank NYU, they did all the work.” you joke, thanking the waitress before digging into the meals.

The food was excellent; it was incredibly worth the price. Even if it was steep, the dinner was lovely. Bo is cracking jokes and telling you his favorite fan encounters that have occurred since his tour began.

It was hard to believe that the man who was often so quiet and shy could be so loud and brave enough to yell at hecklers. Except you could believe it, you had obviously been to one of his shows.

It made your heart begin to flutter at the fact that he wasn’t afraid to be himself around you; it made you feel secure.

The way his stage presence dominated the scene, it was practically impossible to keep your eyes off of him. No matter the situation.

Even now, his eyes glimmer while he tells you whatever story he had dug up. This was his passion, and you reveled in it all.

The night went well as the two of you caught up, knowing it would be quite some time before he’d meet up with you again. As he too had Thanksgiving to celebrate with his family in Massachusetts.

You shared a nice dessert, and he left a rather hefty tip simply because he could. Bo never made it necessary to note that he had money, but you knew he was excited to spend it.

All the while, you spent the night in a dizzying smile. Not giving a shit whether anyone knew it or not, even in the parking lot. The two of you waltzing messily towards the car, giggling and sputtering like a bunch of fools.

He was your fool, and you were his, who knew how long you’d have with him for now. You were destined to make the most of it.

Even as the ride home dwindled and you knew he’d have to catch a flight soon. You weren’t surprised or shocked even; days with him tended to be like this.

As the two of you reached your front door, Bo carefully leaned down to a comfortable position and kissed you softly. Not desperately, just tenderly. As if by the time he’d kiss you again, you’d simply wouldn’t be there.

His lips grazing yours, hands pressed carefully against your cheeks. You reciprocating all the while leaning into him in a warm embrace.

When you finally pulled away to catch your breath, he gave you a look that you knew all too well.

“I’m not saying goodbye.” you whisper into his arms.

“I’ll be back soon don’t worry.” he murmurs into your embrace.

With one last kiss on the forehead, you watch as he walks back to his car. Judging by the way his schedule worked, you knew he’d be back sooner than he would in the past.

Yet, with the soft ‘I love you’ said between the two of you couldn’t help but shed a tear and just hope that the next time would last longer.

#broadwayandnetflix #2021 #bo burnham #bo burnham x you #bo burnham x reader #inside #what #make happy #words words words #fluff #fanfiction #fanfic request

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deniigi · 3 years

Note

my supervisor fucked me over with all my other coworkers present. can I request a one shot from you to cheer me up featuring Sammy?

Did I give y’all the fic about the hotpot?

Well if I didn’t, I’m giving it to you now.

Title: hotpot

Summary: Ganke checks the comments for the Blindspot comic daily and there’s this one asshole anon who keeps talking shit about BT.

The Blindspot comic went live in the fall and Ganke couldn’t stop checking the hit count every five seconds. All night there had only been ten hits.

He told himself not to be disappointed. The only person who really mattered had read and loved the comic.

Miles said that BT had even forced everyone on the team to read an abridged version of Journey to the West, and had gone as far as to make a quiz to determine everyone’s character.

Miles refused to disclose who he’d gotten.

BT had clearly rigged the game to make himself Sun Wukong and Ganke was proud of him.

That kind of enthusiasm was exactly what he’d been hoping for, anything else now was just icing on the cake.

Even though it would be cool if it wasn’t just BT reading his own comics.

That would be pretty cool, right? Like. If people online all started reading BT’s comic. That would be sort of amazing.

Kind of excellent.

Definitely worthy of an A+ and double pats on the back.

Right?

The hit counter didn’t think so. But hey, five more people had opened the page since last night. That was something, wasn’t it?

MM: dude why not just ask Sam to tweet out the link?

How dare you, Miles Morales.

How dare you waltz into this place with logical thought.

GL: I can’t do that. That’s like. Idk. Inflating the views.

MM: okay yeah explain to me how appealing to the person in control of the largest part of his own fandom is inflating the views

GL: I see your logic and I’m banishing it

MM: I’m messaging him

GL: DON’T

MM: too late

MM: he says ‘gimme link’

GL: asdksjsjdks

@blindspot: hi I know y’all can’t get enough of me to the point of asking shockingly invasive questions and for you I say good news! Some amazing folks have gone through the trouble of making a Blindspot comic. it’s good guys check it out [link]

It helped.

A lot.

It helped a lot.

People, on the whole, had great things to say. The panels were screenshotted and tagged and sent all over social media and even though Miles was pretending to be chill and aloof about the whole thing, Ganke could imagine him smiling big and bright and white at his phone non-stop.

Mom and Auntie saw a few of the bits on Twitter and tittered over them in the kitchen like pigeons.

The pride rose like a wave. Ganke kept waiting for the crash.

It came two days later in the form of a comment that read ‘Christ, look at all this fuss. BT is fine. I hate his brother.’

It felt like someone punching the wind out of Ganke’s lungs.

He took comfort in the handful of people who leapt in to shout down the commenter. They emphasized that if the anonymous commenter didn’t like the story or the characters, then they didn’t have to read it and they, especially, didn’t have to say anything about it.

Ganke appreciated those guys. He got the feeling that a lot of the people on there knew that the whole thing had been done but a couple of kids.

Not that Anon cared.

Anon replied to all these comments ‘No, I’m gonna keep reading, thanks. Anyways, the brother is lame. The smart part is cool, but why’s it always gotta be a guy?’

The part that haunted Ganke even after he’d shut his laptop and had gone to stick his head out the window for some big breaths of cleansing air was that Anon was kind of right.

GL: should we have made Guotin’s brother a sister?

MM: no

GL: why not?

MM: cause BT’s always wanted a brother

Oh.

Okay. Then it was fine?

MM: yeah man ignore them. it’s chill.

GL: k thanks my ego is huge and fragile

MM: trust me I know

Asshole. Fine, moving right along.

It didn’t stop. Anon commented on every page. Every. Single. Page.

Ganke didn’t know what to do or say. On the one hand, clearly this person was dedicated and deeply engaged with the comic, on the other hand, they needed a Rude Alert button. Ganke wondered if Ned could code one for them and them only.

The latest of their fury was directed at the big reveal in the second issue—BT’s face.

Having now met Sam, BT, Blindspot, Ganke’s whole image of him had changed.

He was not conventionally attractive as far as like, K-Pop idols and famous Chinese dudes went. His eyes were puffy and narrow and his face was round everywhere but the jaw. He leaned more towards ‘cute’ than ‘sexy,’ which Ganke sort of loved about him.

He was friendly. Stressed and grumpy and feisty as hell, yeah, but first and foremost friendly.

Miles claimed that he called it his ‘number one asset in employability.’ Which was wild because hello, Blindspot.

Obviously, BT couldn’t help his face. But Miles and Ganke could help Guotin’s.

Ganke had sent Miles about fifteen different images of Chinese celebrities and had told him to do his worst. They’d reviewed the final few drafts and had picked one that was most like a young Chen Kun. His face was more oval-shaped than BT’s. His chin and lips were slimmer but more defined. He was pretty, but not so pretty as to be called ‘feminine,’ which Ganke thought was a solid compromise between ‘handsome as sin’ and ‘looks like he’s got a quirky sense of humor.’

Anon hated him.

Anon thought that he looked like an idol, and they were not here for it.

They told ‘the artist’ to give him a mole or something, anything to make him look ‘less pristine. God, I can smell him from here and he smells like Dior and staph habitat.’

Ganke had to look up what a staph infection was. He regretted it. He asked Miles if they should censor Anon.

Miles said ‘mmmmm, idk it’s not like they aren’t saying anything that isn’t true.’

Ganke resented that. Clearly this was defamation of BT. This person hated him and was taking their feeling out on the comic.

MM: I mean yeah but it’s not like they’re talking about the comic, man. They’re talking about the style and like, thinking about it, a mole or smth to help you tell him apart from other folks would kind of be helpful. Like, especially if we ever put him in a crowd, you know?

HHHHHH.

Fine.

Anon could stay. But they were on thin ice.

It was hard not to be bitter about Anon’s comments, especially when they arrived daily, as though Anon knew exactly what they were doing and which page they’d left off at. They couldn’t possibly be reading the comic one page at a time, this was intentional.

Ganke’s jaw hurt from all the tooth grinding he’d endured as of late.

This latest one read ‘yo, has BT ever mentioned fighting with a sword? I don’t recall him mentioning. Someone should take that thing away from him before someone loses an eye—or maybe even two.’

That felt like a pointed jibe.

That turned the churning irritation in Ganke’s gut into something much, much colder.

Did Anon know about BT’s black and blue eyes? How could they know? Was it a coincidence? It seemed to be more than a coincidence.

The pile of critiques was growing bigger and bigger, and now that Ganke thought about it, they all seemed to take issue with things that didn’t match the real Blindspot’s personality.

It was as if they knew him.

GL: miles did you read the new comment from AnonTheAsshole?

MM: lol yeah

GL: tell me if I’m talking out my ass or whatever but like

GL: you don’t think they could be Muse, could they?

Silence.

MM: oh no

Yeah. Fuck.

MM: chances are low.

GL: they know so much tho??

MM: might be stalker? Maybe someone who’s over-invested in BT’s social media pages?

GL: maybe.

MM: hold on let me ask Spidey to screen it

GL: does he know Muse?

MM: no, but he’s paranoid and he’ll get Wade to be paranoid with him, and then they can decide whether its worth giving to DD for verification. He knows Muse.

Ganke’s head was spinning. His fingers shook with guilt and the thought of Muse’s pale body hunched over a secret, cracked cell phone in a high security prison who knew where.

In Ganke’s head, he smiled wider and wider, until the skin on his cheeks cracked. He dug out scraps of paper and redrew Blindspot—Sam—with gaping holes for eyes and a screaming mouth and he drew dismembered corpses in black lakes and he laughed.

He just kept laughing.

MM: hey ganke

MM: it’s going to be okay. It’s just a comic. I’m sure AnonTheAsshole is a stalker. They’re not threatening anyone.

MM: Sam can deal with a stalker. And we can too, okay?

There was a reason that Miles was a hero. Ganke wiped at his eyes and swallowed.

GL: okay. Thanks for doing that.

MM: 👍🏾

It took a few hours because Spidey and Deadpool had lives outside of being Spidey and Deadpool, but not so long that Ganke ran out of nails to chew.

Miles messaged him back and said that Spidey had read through everything and ‘escalated it.’ This meant that whatever he’d seen had caused him enough concern to take it to DP.

Miles said that he’d get back to Ganke with DP’s verdict as soon as he had it. In the meantime, he’d run the comments by the other Spideypeople and they thought that it most likely wasn’t malevolent but was maybe something to keep an eye on in the meantime. He tacked onto all, somewhat stiltedly, that he had a weird feeling all of the sudden. The pink Spidey’s tone had changed. She’d shut down and gone cagey, which allegedly wasn’t like her at all. Then she’d told the taller guy to DM her and they’d vanished from the chat. Miles wasn’t sure what was going on there or if maybe they knew something about stuff going on that he didn’t, but he wasn’t super comfortable with it.

GL: crossing my fingers its nothing?

MM: same man, same.

DP escalated it.

Ganke couldn’t stay still in his room. There was no comfortable place to sit or stand or lay. There was nothing to do that would make him stop thinking about everything.

MM: It’s gonna be fine, man, DD always knows what to do.

Miles kept saying that for every step of the way, and yet here they were. Double escalated. Ganke wasn’t so sure he even knew what was happening anymore.

That was scary. Miles was supposed to be part of the in-crowd.

MM: Wade doesn’t think it’s anything that can’t be nipped in the bud.

That was easy for a contract assassin to say, wasn’t it?

MM: he says that you and I are fine. Doesn’t see any links there. Waiting on DD for confirmation of tone.

Hurry up, Daredevil. Your apprentice’s life might be about to take a nosedive into a heap of trash.

Two hours. One text.

MM: >:/

Ganke couldn’t contain the bubble of laughter.

GL: good news?

MM: [image]

He opened it.

SC: HANNAH YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. STOP BEING A BITCH ON MAIN

HC: You can’t tell me what to do

SC: I CAN

HC: Mom he’s being MEAN

SC: Mom she’s scaring children online

HC: I scare children everywhere I go why are these ones special???

SC: Because I said so

HC: that doesn’t fucking work Samuel you’re not her

SC: I am your older brother

SC: your ELDEST brother

HC: YOU AINT SHIT

SC: THEY DON’T COUNT

SC: HALFSIES COUNT

What.

MM: so.

MM: she’s not Muse.

MM: Red’s laughing his ass off at all of us for taking this to a level three

GL: wait I don’t understand

MM: Hannah is Sam’s little sister. She’s found a new hobby in our website.

Blindspot’s little sister was reading the comic??? Holy shit.

GL: she hates him?

MM: no I’ve been informed that they would literally commit murder for each other but this is how they express love.

No way. Siblings were wild.

GL: so we’re good?

MM: [image]

SC: apologize 🔪

HC: eat my ass

SC: apologize or else

HC: or else what? You gonna come in here and sit on me? Huh? Huh????

SC: I know your email password. All 3 you cycle through. What was his name? Uuuuuuuuuh Jing?

HC: you fucking bastard

SC: Hi Jing, it’s me, Hannah. I’ve been in mad crush with you since sophomore year. Please notice me senpai 😖

HC: Die

SC: kill me

HC: I will.

The giggles that came this time were a mix of relief and genuine intrigue. This lady read the comic every day. She took the time to scroll through pictures of her brother being an absolute lunatic and fighting with a huge monkey. Then she hopped into that comment box and took him—not Miles, not Ganke, specifically Blindspot--down a peg.

She must miss him a lot. Ganke wondered if this was her way of keeping him in her thoughts.

MM: I don’t think we’re getting a sorry, man. DD says Sam’s been at this all morning and has been tricked into apologizing himself twice

GL: so you’re saying that she’s an evil genius

MM: idk but she’s def Sam’s main nemesis. I always thought that older siblings got like, rights or something over younger ones, but idk anymore. Angel says this is normal.

GL: do you think she misses him?

Miles took a long time to respond.

MM: yeah

Yeah, Ganke thought so, too.

GL: should we change Guo tin’s brother’s name to ‘hamish?’

MM: ASDLDSDSFKdsjf

MM: one moment.

MM: sam says yes. Hannah says that she thinks our comic is shit and we need to draw everything uglier

GL: she’s kind of funny

MM: 👀perhaps she would like to be a consultant?

GL: 👀👀👀👀

MM: brb asking

MM: sam says no. Hannah says she’s got better things to do than proofread comics on the internet. She’s also not sorry. She wants that to be clear. DD says that the conversation has moved from English to Chinese and to maybe duck and cover for now. He says all is good tho. Thanks for checking in.

MM: Muse doesn’t use punctuation and talks in riddles, so if we get any of that, we’re supposed to send it to DP right away.

Oh, nice. That was a relief.

MM: oh

MM: sam wants to put us in a chat. Can I give him your number?

Uh, only if he wanted Ganke to hyperventilate.

GL: sure

[GL has been added to a Secure Chat]

It was a page of characters and emojis that were somehow more menacing than Ganke had ever seen them before. Miles popped a little waving hand into the fray, as though testing the waters, but the characters just carried on scrawling around it.

Ganke wasn’t quite sure what to do.

GL: hi? Are y’all okay?

There was finally a pause. Then a few shorter lines of characters. And then finally, Blindspot switched from Chinese to English.

SC: yes we’re FINE. We’re GREAT. Aren’t we, sibling from hell?

HC: who’re you? Why are you in our family chat? This is a family only zone, can’t you read?

SC: God Hannah he’s Korean don’t be a dick

HC: I can’t not be I learned it from you

SC: fair but pretend in the face of company

HC: okay fine. Hello losers.

MM: adksadfadsdfldfsldf

MM: hi

GL: hi?

SC: go on

HC: UGH

HC: fine

HC: I didn’t mean to shit talk your creation. Only my brother.

SC: also a sin, we’ll get to that later

HC: no one cares about you Samuel, stop spreading lies

SC: you first. We both know this is no lie, my white dad cares about me a whole lot

HC: well we can’t all have white dads now can we

SC: don’t be jealous

MM: lol you really call Matt your white dad??

HC: who is this person and how do they know our mutual parent’s name?

SC: this is not a mutual parent situation how many times have we been through this. He’s mine. Get your own.

MM: hi! 👋🏾I’m Bitsy! Spidey no. 4

GL: I’m his friend. He draws the comic. I write it.

HC: oh. nerd children x2

HC: anyways yeah Matt is our dad

SC: ffs

MM: he’s sort of dadly ig.

HC: ?? oho

SC: mind your face. Think about your face. Think about how much you like your face.

HC: little spider, did you not hear?

SC: kay everyone out. We’re done here

MM: hear what?

HC: lol Sammy you didn’t tell them about how Matthew Mcconaughey adopted you in all ways but paperwork?

Ganke held his phone away from his face as far as it would go.

MM: …wait are you for real?

SC: no. okay out.

HC: awwww Sammy so shy now. What are you embarrassed about? It’s cute.

SC: Hannah literally shut up I’m not playing

HC: damn okay sorry

MM: can I be honest?

SC: no

MM: I’m going to be anyways: I think we all sorta knew.

SC: …

HC: right?

SC: what does that even mean?

MM: idk, it just felt right, you know? You two are always fussing at each other and red lost his shit that time you got shot. He doesn’t treat you the way he treats the rest of us and we’re his teammates. He doesn’t even treat spidey like he treats you. So like, yeah. It fits.

MM: I’m really happy for you guys.

MM: is there a reason it’s a secret?

Ganke eased himself back down onto the mattress. This was real. This was like, actual, real information. Something that he and like, four other people in the world now knew.

He kind of wanted to forget it. It didn’t feel right to know.

SC: I dunno.

HC: if sam has an honest emotion towards anything he has to calculate its weight so he can make space for it in his collection of satellites.

MM: wh

SC: you’re so not funny.

HC: it’s called emotional repression, darling. It’s all the rage in this family.

MM: oh

MM: so that’s why you and Red get on so well

SC: HHHHHHH

HC: HA

SC: okay but listen his is different, I’ve only seen him cry at his wedding. I cry at least 4 times a week. Obviously under the bed, but that can’t be emotional repression. That’s expression. That’s clearly expression

HC: I can make the old man cry watch me

SC: please don’t I’ll die

MM: awwwww

SC: shut up it doesn’t even matter.

MM: AWWWWWW

SC: LEAVE ALREADY

MM: no I like it here. I want to hear you talk about how much you love your white dad

SC: I don’t. He loves me. I’m fine with this because it results in food, shelter, and continued employment.

HC: uh huh

SC: I’m using him

HC: yeah because you’re like the most manipulative person I know.

SC: thank you

HC: /sarcasm

SC: I know I ignored it.

MM: so wait why do you actually pretend like you hate him tho?

SC: wh

SC: what the fuck am I supposed to do? Just go on up for a cuddle? Have you met Matt? The second someone starts crying, he finds trash to take out to the bins. Hell no. Life is easier for everyone if I stab him with a stick and he kicks my ass in training. It’s fine.

HC: Sam is learning how to be a Manly Man. This is step one.

SC: I’m plenty manly

HC: you’re what mom imagined as manly

SC: which is perfect. That’s all I need.

HC: mama’s boy

SC: must suck to suck, no one’s kid.

Wow. Ganke had never been more glad that he didn’t have a sister.

GL: That’s kind of cool, though.

GL: that you and DD are close like that I mean.

GL: Its different from all the other mentor/mentee superheroes we see who like, sort of hate each other.

SC: wh

SC: OH. you mean Peter and Kate. Peter doesn’t actually hate Stark, fyi. And Kate calls Hawkeye the Old bi-weekly to make sure he’s still breathing. It’s actually pretty normal.

MM: he doesn’t mean like that Sam. I mean, like those guys don’t associate with their Olds now that they’re grown up and stuff, but you and DD stick together. It’s like you’re family.

MM: and that’s super cool. Idk if Spidey would ever consider me family. I don’t think he wants that for us.

SC: I?

SC: oh shit

HC: CLARITY ON THIS FINE DAY. What was your name again, tiny spider?

MM: miles

HC: PRAISE BE TO MILES

HC: AN EMOTION WAS HAD

SC: get fucked

HC: An epiphany was obtained!

SC: would you shut up

HC: Something has finally permeated that non-porous, two-inch thick skull of my esteemed eldest brother

SC: I’m your only brother

HC: you’re not

SC: they don’t fucking count

HC: now will you FINALLY invite our mutual dad to hotpot?

SC: Hannah he doesn’t want to come to hot pot we’ve talked about this. it’s too spicy for him.

HC: I’ll make it 1/3 less spicy

SC: that’s still too spicy

HC: I’ll make it 2/5 less spicy

SC: 3/5

HC: listen

HC: I have all this fucking equipment that SOMEONE left here callously

MM: what’s hotpot?

SC: 👀

HC: 👀

GL: 👀

SC: well fuck

HC: EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

GL: have we never taken you with us for hotpot???

MM: no?? is this the sticks?

HC: can be. Where do you live?

SC: Hannah no

HC: Hannah yes. We’ll make one here. You’ll make one there.

SC: do you know how much shit I’ll have to buy? Where are we gonna put it?

HC: this wouldn’t be a problem if you’d taken your goddamn inheritance with you to SF

SC: HHHHHH

MM: you guys are actually being serious?

HC: I am. I am here all on my lonesome. Abandoned by my only kin. I require enrichment.

SC: try doing your fucking homework

HC: did anyone hear something?

MM: lololololol I like you

HC: 😊

SC: wh

SC: oh no. No no no.

SC: you two don’t get to be friends

HC: come here bb pspspspspspsps

MM: I’m here

HC: got ‘im. Let’s have hotpot. Sammy send me resippy. We’ll do it together over video so I don’t fuck it up.

SC: I’ve got to go. This has been traumatizing.

HC: byeeeeeeeeeeee

HC: is he gone? Hell yeah, he’s gone.

HC: hey thanks for making that comic thing. It’s hella rad. He loves it. Mom used to call him Monkey when he was little.

GL: omg aw

HC: ikr? P cute. He misses her a lot so I think it brought back good memories. Anyways, I’m actually going to make hotpot. Come over and have some with me, it’s more fun with more people.

MM: you’re not joking

HC: nope, it’s been ages since your whole team has gotten together, right? Ask them to do it. I’m a shit cook, but Sam’ll show us how not to screw it up. And he’s playin’, he’s totally down to hang out with us. We never had more than three people. It’ll be new. Exciting. Enriching even.

MM: are you secretly a nice person, Hannah?

HC: the fuck do you mean ‘secret’??? I’m a delight.

MM: Okay I’ll ask the team and my mom

MM: ganke?

HC: 👀

That—

Sounded kind of nice?

GL: I’ll ask my mom.

HC: nice. You can tell them that it’s a friends dinner or whatever. Idc. I promise I’m not going to kidnap and murder you. I’ve got like, class and work and shit. I don’t have time for that.

MM: 👍🏾

GL: 👍🏼

HC: great here I’ll message you my number. This is legit our sibs chat so Sam’ll freak if you’re still here when he gets back.

MM: thank you! And sorry for thinking you were muse!!

GL: yeah that too

HC: lol np ttyl

That…had really just happened, hadn’t it?

Ganke needed to sit down even though he was already sitting down.

GL: they’re so nice???

MM: ikr?

GL: are you actually going to ask your mom?

MM: Im gonna ask BT if its cool first. Then yeah. Why not? Our team really hasn’t gotten together in a minute. Everyone’s been super busy. It would be a nice change of pace, and if everyone brings smth then Hannah doesn’t have to pay for anything.

MM: ah, Sam says it’s okay. He says sorry his sister is weird and that he’ll make sure she doesn’t poison us.

GL: I kind of love her

MM: same

MM: okay will check in with the others. Talk to you later.

GL: yeah see you later

Damn, at this rate, Ganke’s family was going to triple in size, and all thanks to a comic.

Before he left for downstairs, he made a note to make Guo tin’s brother snarkier.

#fic #inimitable verse #blindspot #samuel chung #miles morales #ganke lee

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clearwillow · 3 years

Note

50. Either way that strikes you. ❤️

Hi @dawnrider ❤️ I actually opted to do both, cause not only was it a particularly sucky night and the fluff was needed, but because this will probably be the only prompt I get sent.

Decided to do "Its okay, I couldn’t sleep anyway." around Hired Help, because that AU really needs some fluff right now. It would be early on in the fic, for those that have read it. (I'll add it to AO3 once I can think of a title, so for now it's tumblr-exclusive)

--------

Kagome dropped down unceremoniously on her couch and sighed. Her feet hurt something awful. Those cute pumps she had bought to go with her new outfit for work? Hurt like she’d walked on glass shards all day. She came out of them as soon as she had her front door open and forced herself not to grab them by her toes and fling them across the apartment.

They were still expensive, even if she had gotten them on sale.

Her work involved walking. A lot of walking. She thought that the heel hadn’t been difficult to walk in, and she hadn’t felt any discomfort until she’d sat down in her car. Then it had hit her and all she’d wanted to do was get in bed and sleep. Only she’d have to get home first.

“Mistakes were definitely made,” she decided, glaring at the offending footwear that sat on her coffee table. Her phone buzzed and she had to give herself an awkward pat down to find the device to see who the text message was from. “Inuyasha?”

[Kags, you have anything going on tonight?]

Unsure of his intentions, Kagome chewed her lip in thought before typing out a reply. [Only if watching TV counts? What’s up?]

[Actually…nevermind…]

[No, no – what is it, Inuyasha?] She was about to call him and find out what wasn’t important enough to ask all of a sudden. He’d done that when they were kids, and it had driven her crazy then too. He’d start to ask her something and back out immediately after. Before she could hit the button to dial his number, his message came back.

[I wanted to know if I could come to your place? But you’re probably tired after work. I know I had you running all over the building.]

Even in a text she could feel the guilt coming from him. He didn’t know her shoes were going to hurt her like they did. Hell even she didn’t know! They’d only been coworkers for going on a month, at best. She had to learn the ropes. Find out where everything was located. Plan the most efficient means of reaching each office on the regular. It was more her fault than anything really. [Inuyasha I don’t mind!] Her thumbs flew across the screen keyboard as she responded. There was something about his text that had her gut telling her that there was more to it.

And when it hit her, she knew good and well there was an underlying question he would never ask outright.

[Inuyasha…really. It’s okay, I couldn’t sleep anyway. My mind is buzzing too much to wind down, and I’d love the company.]

[Are you sure?]

[I’m very sure.]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(〜￣▽￣)〜~(￣▽￣)~*〜(￣▽￣〜) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When the doorbell rang, Kagome tried not to let it show on her face that her feet still hurt like a bitch as she hobbled to let Inuyasha in. But when she opened the door to see him standing there, giving her a lopsided grin, she didn’t care if her feet were on fire. Her friend was here now. “You’re sure this is alright?”

“I told you yes, you big doof. Now get in here already!” Kagome shook her head as he walked inside, taking in the worn out jeans and t-shirt he’d thrown on. There had been a time when she remembered he wore those rock band shirts and barely filled the shoulders out. Now she could see the way his shoulder blades moved beneath the cotton as he shifted the weight of the bags in his hands.

It was…hypnotizing. And if she wasn’t careful she’d probably be drooling in a second.

Wait. Why did he have bags?

Inuyasha must have noticed her staring – hopefully at the bags, she realized too late in horror that this might not be the case – and answered unprompted. “Thought you might want to eat something that you didn’t have to stand on your feet to fix. Got some junk too. You still like Sonic hamburgers, right?”

The way he looked back up at her, how unsure he was, because he didn’t know if her tastes had changed since they’d hung out…it broke her heart. It reminded her of all the time they’d missed out on, and for him to show up at her doorstep after work just showed that he wanted to make up for that time. Kagome stepped forward and dropped her hands over his, deliberately sniffing out loud. “You got onion rings, right?”

He let out a breathy laugh. “Of course.”

Nothing would ever make Kagome turn Inuyasha away, even if he hadn’t remembered that she liked onion rings with her burger. He was making an effort to rekindle their friendship, to spend time outside of work together. And the fact that he was leaving his own place on a night with a new moon said so much. He didn’t want to spend it alone, and chose her out of everyone he could spend the evening with.

Sleep was overrated and she knew she’d have the day off the next day anyway.

They ended up spreading the food he brought all over the coffee table. Inuyasha couldn’t help but notice how she tossed the shoes she’d plucked off the table and into a lone chair. He hadn’t said anything about it, too focused on eating before their dinner got cold. The TV was more background noise than them actually watching, either critiquing how bad the reenactments of the hauntings were or reciting commercials word for word when they weren’t reminiscing about their childhood.

Kagome wasn’t expecting him to ask “Why did you get those shoes if they hurt your feet so much?” out of the blue.

“Because I didn’t know they’d hurt my feet?”

“Give me your feet.”

“What? Are you insane?”

“Let me see, Kagome.”

“No!” To reiterate that she wasn’t about to show her feet to Inuyasha, Kagome tucked her legs underneath herself in an attempt to hide them.

She really wasn’t expecting Inuyasha to reach across the couch and grab at her legs.

Kagome let out a squeal and wiggled in her spot, trying to shake him off. Inuyasha had one of two moods; he could be the most reserved person in the room, or he could take initiative in the most outlandish way. There was no in between with him, and when he set his mind to something there was no stopping him. And he’d decided right then and there that he was going to pry her legs out from under her. She felt her weight being lifted off the couch and squealed again, throwing her arms around his shoulders.

His very…very…strong shoulders.

It gave her pause, feeling the strength in him and allowing him the chance to set her back on the couch cushions with her feet draped across his lap. It was hard not to be disappointed. No one had ever carried her like that as an adult. She didn’t think she was light enough, but Inuyasha… he’d handled her with ease.

Kagome gulped. Not good. ‘Don’t think about your friend like that, Kagome.’

“You okay?”

“Huh? Oh…y-yeah,” she mumbled, ducking her head. “You just surprised me. That’s all.”

“You thought I wouldn’t do it?”

“No I knew you would. I just…you’ve changed, Inuyasha.”

Dark brown eyes looked at her in confusion. “Is that good, or bad?” he asked with uncertainty.

“Good for you,” she assured him. “But…bad for me. I missed out on seeing the changes as they happened. You’ve gotten so strong. Your hair’s longer. I mean I could go on but you don’t look like the boy I had to tell that I was moving away anymore.”

Inuyasha snorted. “Good thing, then. Cause I remember the pictures,” he teased, hoping to cheer her up. “I’ve always been strong, if you’ll remember. Now I just look it, so I dare anyone to call me a fucking hobbit.”

She had been seconds away from letting slip that yes – yes he did look strong now – but it would not have come out sounding like a friend. “I love your hair,” Kagome said instead. Whether the mass of curls that hung around his shoulders were silver, or black as they were now, she loved them. “Long hair suits you.”

He grinned, reaching for one of her feet. “And not having bludgeoned feet from your boss running you ragged all day suits you.”

Kagome started to protest because she could always soak them the next day, but the moment he pressed his thumb into her instep, all that came out was a low moan. Oh god, that felt better than any foot soak! His hands slowly and delicately kneaded her feet, not missing a spot and watching her face for any signs of discomfort. When he had both massaged to his satisfaction, Kagome shifted around on the couch to lean against his side.

“You know you’re not my boss, right? Your father is.” She pointed out.

“You’re my personal assistant. That means you answer to me.”

“That sounds like I should call you Master,” Kagome snorted. “Do I need to get a genie costume?” There was a choked sound and she looked up at him to see him looking elsewhere. Was he…was he blushing? “You thought of something dirty, didn’t you?”

“N-no!”

“Yes you did!” Kagome laughed as the blush got brighter. “Tell me, Inuyasha! I wanna know!”

“You really don’t!”

“We’ve got all night, Inuyasha…” Okay that should not have made him blush more, so it had to have been something really dirty. Kagome bumped his shoulder with hers and started a string of “Please, please, please” since he was holding out on her. “You never kept secrets from me when we were kids,” she reminded him.

Inuyasha opened and closed his mouth for a minute. “This is waydifferent!” he pointed out, adding “You wouldn’t have filled out one of those costumes as easily back then!”

The silence was deafening.

Now Kagome was blushing. Inuyasha was still blushing, only looking like he was about to crawl into the couch after realizing what he’d just said out loud.

Kagome couldn’t decide if she was meant to be upset or flattered. ‘Oh god, that means he’s looked!’ her brain screamed at her. She knew she was nothing but a flat mess up until her sophomore year, and she hadn’t really developed until late that summer before her junior year began. Inuyasha wouldn’t have known that, but he’d noticed. She could get offended, be upset that he was insinuating something that was very much true at one point, or be flattered and take it as a compliment. She couldn’t react any other way because while there were other options, this was Inuyasha. He’d never given her any indication of anything else.

Finally she said, “I don’t know if I’d want a pink costume.”

The body she was still leaning against relaxed at her words. “Jewel tones would be better, anyway.”

“And I don’t know if I’d call you Master either.”

“What? Why not?”

“Because you get this weird look on your face when I say it! You’re not my boss, remember! We don’t need that power play dynamic in the office!”

Inuyasha visibly looked put out. “I wouldn’t do that,” he mumbled, but she could still see the hint of red on his cheeks, so she knewthe dirty thoughts were still simmering. “What if I asked you to call me Sir, then?”

“Like a Knight in shining armor?” she laughed.

“I took care of your feet, didn’t I?”

Kagome nodded, “That you did. Thank you, Inuyasha.” She dropped her head onto his shoulder, taking his hand in hers.

“Ought to be thanking you,” he replied, leaning back into the couch. “You could’ve told me no earlier.”

“I told you it’s okay. I couldn’t sleep anyway tonight.”

Fluff Prompts

#inuyasha #kagome #inukag #inuyasha fanfiction #fluff prompts

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