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#and then discovering that im trans and feeling this all over again but worse
invisible-brandy · 5 months
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rewatched phil's video this morning again and the first story got me thinking again about how teenage me was convinced that everyone in the lgbtq community believed that dating people who are still (partially or not) closeted was a bad thing and if you're closeted you will need to out yourself for the relationship. which filled me with insane amounts of dread at times, obviously.
and now phil's coming out in college mention? idk i love them both so much. i love that phil did that for him. they are both so devoted to each other ("that's the plan") and are ready to give into each other and support each other ugh no that's it im getting genuinely emotional over them
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tkbrokkoli · 3 months
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:3
#not fandom related#personal log stardate#trans stuff#1 month on T now! 😁 i def got the most surprising changes#my voice changed a teeny tiny bit. after just waking up and when im putting in effort it's in the androgynous range now.#it doesnt pass as male at all tho. period is reduced to light spotting. i got some bottom growth but i did not feel that at all#so no sensitivity or anything. i just discovered one day that ive had bottom growth#none of the 3 h's (horny hungry hot) for me. in fact i was worried at first my dose was either too low or high or im not absorbing the gel#well bc i didn't notice anything at all. but nope. changes are happening!#now to the bad stuff. had a thrombosis scare last week. i already have a raised risk and T raises it even more and then i had weird pain in#my calf last week. it went away again tho so maybe it was from working out or smth idk. i probably should've seen a doctor just to make#sure my blood levels are ok and i don't have polycythemia. maybe ill do that this week#also. atrophy 😬#i did not know you could get this like. instantly. i thought this was smth that happened after years on T#anyway. my junk is irritated. i don't do anything w it and the mucus outside is irritated just like that#it is basically almost always uncomfortable. sometimes worse sometimes barely noticeable. idk if it's just a pH change from starting T or i#it'll settle into smth long term. ive now bought a moisturizing cream for down there. haven't tried it out yet but what I've tried is#just putting some lube there over night and it did reduce the symptoms. let's see how that will develop in the next few weeks#i know there's estrogen cream but you need a prescription for that i think. ill try that if the other stuff fails#so anyway my changes are kinda unlike of what ive read usually happens in the first month except for bottom growth#im not complaining (except abt the atrophy)#also shout out to my doctor for putting in my chart that i want to be referred to as a man and also actually referring to me as a#man. only one nurse is actually paying attention to that though and she's also the one who handled my paperwork once where it said im trans#she just uses my last name w/o anything else which is fine for me. i don't pass yet so it would be awkward if i was sir'd in front of other#patients. also i know one of the other nurses from my private life (she's an acquaintance of a former colleague of mine) so she only knows#me pre-transitioning and it again would be kinda awkward idk. i think ill have a talk w the nurses abt what i want to be referred to when i#a little further along in my medical transition. for now its fine being misgendered in front of other patients bc i dont pass anyway#but it's nice being respected in private ie when im alone w my doctor or a nurse#oh btw i had my first exam this week ugh. i was not as well prepared as i should've been but i don't worry abt it too much#bc this is only the first exam and there are many more to come so now i can learn from my mistakes and prepare better/more efficiently
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lillythepyromancer · 7 days
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huh
im kind of breaking radio silence i suppose, this may very well be my first post.
24 of april already
happy birthday me. 18 whole years.
i feel quite bad. thought It would be some kind of celebration when i was younger, all the 'coming of age stuff'.
I was wrong.
i guess- i guess today i realized that i've wasted most of my childhood. never did anything interesting, made friends, or went outside in general. i am completely and utterly lost to what im going to do or how to do- almost anything that isnt academic.
i realized something was different about me two years ago that- that maybe hating to look at your reflection. feeling like you are worthless. that each time you heard someone mistook you for a girl you got happy. that imagining yourself with short hair again you felt sick. that not being able to bear thinking about your body hair without panicking over it. that It wasn't normal. that i wasn't a guy. i've gotten to that conclusion before but i've always felt like i didn't want to get in the way. 'what if i'm not? what if i'm an intruder? a fake' or worse. what if I was? what do i do?
it was very scary
but i reached a wall. i think what cracked me open was OT. i think his content is wonderful and- everything was incredibly relatable. i had never done any research before on any of this (save for the 3 am 'quizzes' that tell you exactly what you want them to say if you answer dishonestly) and suddenly i realized that there were a lot of people that felt like me, that mine wasn't a unique experience. i think that was by far the worst part, 'how did i not know?' 'how could you even not know-?'. for a long while i felt like i couldn't be trans. 'how can you be trans if you hadn't noticed for this long?'.
i stumbled upon an article on one of my panic research nights, the title was similar to 'how i discovered i was transgender in my twenties'. It was from a mtf trans journalist. i cried reading it. It described me word for word.
i cannot do anything but thank my partner. they have been with me since before i even confronted myself about my gender and they have been overwhelmingly supportive. i wouldn't have gotten this far if It weren't because of them. they are the most wonderful person on earth and i would commit unspeakable acts for them. they are the reason i could begin to accept myself and i even owe them my name but that's a tale for another book
happy birthday Lilly! 🎉
i should rest
so. yeah. if anybody got this far, thanks for reading. I think you are cool. Might delete this later if I learn how to do it. And sorry for my bad english, It is not my first language and im already bad at my first one.
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misty-missdee · 1 year
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(Some of the names in this story have been altered. Viewer discretion advised.)
Okay, it's storytime. Cause this shit still baffles me to no end so I gotta write about it.
At my job I met these two women who I now affectionately refer to as "my two goth moms" and they're great! They've been super duper sweet to me, and have done a lot of cool things to help me exist.
One of them, we'll call her Viper, is this 41-42 year old super duper og goth. Sometimes wearing trip pants to work in our business casual office type lady. She's very cool and nice, but sometimes people misundstand her, because she has a loud voice and an aesthetic. Viper has a girlfriend who we will call Tiffany.
When I met Viper, Tiffany did not work in our office, but I had met her a couple times when they took me out as a baby trans who had no idea what she was doing. Which was nice!
Tiffany is a early 30s individual who had some dire shit happen to her when she was in the army. Like, more than one dire thing which we needn't get into but I feel it's relevant.
I had quit my job briefly whilst I was tryna discover the meaning of life, but eventually came back and now Tiffany was also working there. Which was fine for a time, but It meant I was spending more time around Tiffany who started to have a lot of struggles at work. The more time I spent in her proxy the more my vibe reading sensor in my brain was like "hey uh, something is off with this individual."
Long story short with that she had to take loa, and then quit. I would still hang out with the two of them outside of work, because im tryna be a friend and have friends on occasion. However, "The vibe is still kinda off..".
Just a few things that made me like, idk about this person. She was also starting to text me paragraphs upon paragraphs. I guess she just did this to people, but I didn't really love it, because it reminded of my my Mother who had a tendency to smother me. Im also just not tryna read a ton of words all the time. So I didn't always respond to these excerpts from her self help novel she was texting me (thats a joke). I don't like to be coddled.
One day she sent one about some unsubstantial interaction we had where she got referred to as a mother too, since shes dating my goth mom Viper. Tiffany asking me not to do that is fine, but then equated it to my transness and my "request to be called a woman" as she put it. Which I understand now wasn't how she meant it, but I was rubbed the wrong way. It was infuriating read when I'm having some pretty intense identity issues at that time, so I'm really not tryna engage with any of this anymore. (It's also not a "request" motherfucker).
I had responded to that particular longasstextmessage with "certainly" to Tiffany's request to not calling her mommy(not even as a joke im supr srs). I'm sure "certainly" can be read as a bit annoyed. Which hey! You'd be right.
She responded with a one to two word response which honestly had me shook. Then several minutes later an overcorrction paragraph or two.
I try to distance myself at this point, because Tiffany is now actively making MY ANXIETY WORSE. some weeks pass, and I'm cooking in my kitchen when I get a message. All I see at that exact time is the preview of the message and I read "from Tiffany: I'm attracted to you...". I can't help but laugh, because like again, we were no more than acquaintances miss.. you can't honestly be this down bad over me that youre saying IM IN YOUR DREAMS AT NIGHT DISTRACTING YOU ALL THE TIME. I'm also really not trying to wreck my adoptive mother's home!!! AAAAAA!!!
So I wrecked my adoptive mother's home(sorta). Viper and Tiffany ended up breaking up, because Tiffany was becoming increasingly delusional about many things in her life. The final straw was Tiffany refusing to go to therapy, and not fully anything to do with me (thank goodness).
Thankfully where we find ourselves now in relation to this story Tiffany is in therapy. Viper and I are still good friends. Viper and Tiffany are still decent friends though they're not living together, or really an item.
Tiffany also... bought me some Christmas presents I didn't accept during the holidays, because all of this was ongoing. It wasnt until March where i accepted them from Viper. Tiffany bought me a really expensive bong, which I guess is a nice gesture for everything that happened, but gosh.. it still felt like a crazy gift from someone whose energies were so off, and we weren't even that close. Its a real nice bong at least.
So, Thats my story about how I was too nearby this one person and she fell madly in love with me somehow, ruined her own relationship, and I got a nice, new bong.
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byronictrash · 3 years
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so I was thinking about the whole hbo supernatural thing and all I could think was how it would fit in my major spn interpretation which is TRANSFEM SAM WINCHESTER!!!!
• changed her name to samantha for pure praticity
• is a lesbian, so all the romantic part is pretty similar to the canon, monsterfucking and all
• in which dean got a little confused about the distinction of gender ≠ sexuality at first like “wait but why did you become a girl if you like girls?” (he doesn’t know a lot of queer people, give him some time)
• AND SPEAKING OF DEAN! the biggest ally of all times. at first he doesn’t understand lots of stuff that seems obvious to sam (“why are you putting on a suit?” “dean we’re going to a small town, the case will be way harder if everyone is staring at me”), asks indiscrety questions (“can i ask you something?” “it depends” “you wanna chop your dick off?” “NO YOU CANT ASK IT”) but over time he starts to get it more naturally
• despite his numerous hook-ups, dean has never spent so much time in his life in a company of a woman so even the smallest things are extraterrestrial to him (“hey whats that bowl in the microwave?” “depilatory wax” “OH CMON SAMMY I WAS GOING TO HEAT UP MY DINNER THERE”)
• of course, there would be a scene where they met some hunter friend of john who says shit about sam, misgender her etc and dean goes FERAL, fist fighting with the guy and stuff. later sam yells at dean, saying she doesn't need dean to protect her and the argument would escalate to all the times that dean treated her in a condescending way, dean yelling back that dad said it was his job to take care of her and sam yelling even louder that dad would probably dead by now (in this moment all the lamps in their room (and in the street) simply explode, but they ignore. it was probably some short circuit…. right?)
• ok lets talk about john. still the same asshole, still gave a gun to kid who was afraid of the boogeyman, still tried to summon azazel when his son was in comma in 02X01 BUT now he also has a whole series of microaggressions with sam. she’s not stupid, she know the dad she has so doesn’t come out until she’s in stanford, SO john finds out sam is trans in 01X16 when john see sam after two years wearing a skirt and holding a .45 gun. he looks at her up and down and doesn’t say anything however, suddenly stops calling sam sam and starts calling her strictly samuel.
• it got worse after s1 season finale with the whole azazel possessed john > sam had the opportunity of killing azazel/her dad > couldn’t do it > azazel escaped > the winchesters get hit by a truck. when sam questions her father about being worried about the colt while his own son is dying, john explodes with her “you know samuel this is all your fault, once again you couldn’t just man up and pull the fucking trigger, kill the thing, you had to be same old sissy and chicken off, if your brother dies its his blood in your hands”
• aaaaaanyway, lets go back to our girl :D
• her style is kinda a mess. makeup done in a hurry, most of her clothes are mid skirts, hoodies and long dresses but now and then she spends a week wearing baggy jeans and band t-shirts, like dean’s, and no makeup at all. when he asks her “where is the whole angry teen outfit?” sam would simply respond its “because of the praticity, it’s tough to fight with a vampire in a dress lol” dean knows its because sometimes sam’s internalized transphobia ft repression gets loud
• her music taste is mostly grunge, punk and some alt bands she discover in stanford but dean call all of it emo “oh fuck off sammy, i let you drive once and you already put this emo shit” “dean this is literally nirvana, you cant call everything made after the 80’s emo”
• when she came out to bobby his reaction was literally “so now you’re a girl?” “uh… yeah” “gonna change your name or something?” “now is samantha but sam is still fine” “okay, now look this sigil... (and went back to the lore they were searching)”
• sam’s catholicism being more portrained on screen and how the dilemma of being a Christian and queer filled sam with religious guilty
• her paranormal powers also showed up sooner and since the beginning she knew something was wrong. her throat felt sore every time she recited the rituale romanus and holy water made her skin itchy. the older she got, the harder those “symptoms” became and with her denial, desire to be normal combined with religious guilt, it was easier to just convince herself that all this was just god punishing her for living in sin.
• surprisingly, all the demons and angels (and most of the monsters) even being assholes treats sam with the right pronouns
• which make sam and cas fist encounter even more interesting because cas literally turns to dean and go “is this your sister, samantha winchester?” “yeah” “ABOMINATION”’
• samruby second (cause the real first was ruby killing the seven deadly sins and stuff) encounter on the other side was a little more like "why are you following me?” “because youre tall and tall women are sexy as fuck” (then sam’s brain was short circuited for a sec because her height make usually makes her dysphoric)
• between s3-s4, dean still in hell, there would be a scene of one of the first times that sam drank blood to exorcise a demon with her mind. so here they are, demon tied in a chair and trapped in a trap, sam with blood all over her chin and ruby looking at her all heart eyes. Sam tries to do the exorcism but it doesnt work so ruby says sam needs more blood. Sam responds that shes nauseous and if takes any more shes gonna puke (cause you know voluntary vampirism came too natural in canon and that disturbs me) so the demon, who's wearing a cheerleader as a vessel, laughs and says "you know sammy, for real women blood tends to be a natural thing". ruby kills her on the spot.
• speaking of the catholicism (and the blood drinking) again, sam prays every single time before/after drinking demon blood, ruby mocks her for it but she doesnt care. its a weird feeling because even thinking that what shes doing is right, that she needs to get strong to kill lilith, it still feels bad, unholy in some sense.
• of course lucifer tempted her in s5 not only appearing as jess but also saying things like "why samantha, after all, are you willing to sacrifice yourself for a society that treats you like scum, that looks at you like a freak?"
• no need to say that in 05x04 "The End" episode when dean faces lucifer using sam as his vessel, she's wearing an outfit way cooler than that abbey-road-john-lennon-white-suit (to know what i mean search amanda seyfried 2018 met gala look THATS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!!!!!)
• even after being clean of blood drinking, sam still has some of her paranormal powers. she can't do exorcises with her mind anymore but she can move small objects with telekinesis (she doesn't do it in front of dean cause she knows it would scares the fuck out of him)
i also had a list of some episodes rewritten in this au but this list is already long, guess i'll post later
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shelobussy · 3 years
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ASH’S TOP 10 TMA FIC RECS
For @damcrows who is Suffering. (I’ll make a second rec list with only fluff fics I promise <3)
immortal with a kiss by yellow_ caballero
In accordance with the Ride or Die Pact of 2009, Jonathan Sims can call upon Georgie Barker at any time for aid with no strings attached. Despite their rocky history, their childhood friendship, and Jon’s barely recovered alcoholism, this pact is sacred and must be upheld.
Georgie Barker may regret this. She may regret it when she discovers that the world is full of monsters and eldritch gods and dickhead managers. She may regret it when a punk rocker who should be dead collapses on their doorstep, a teenager again who needs their help. She may regret it when her stupid ex-boyfriend starts selling his soul for knowledge and the ability to keep his new family safe.
But she probably won’t. Georgie isn’t scared of anything - not a Clown’s apocalypse, not the apocalypse that Jon is destined to begin, and not Jon’s own loss of humanity.
Maybe she should be.
1000/10 the best fanfic in this fandom. It’s got everything: QP Jon/Georgie, Teen!Gerald, Beholding lore, and everyone bullies Jon. (Head trigger warnings)
daisy time travels and jon suffers au by paper_dream
In which Daisy time travels back from the apocalypse, saves Jon from herself, and just kinda forgets he has no idea what's going on.
Daisy timetravels to pre-Buried. Jon suffers.
The Magnus Institute vs the 21st Century: a series of emails and IMs by shinyopals
I'm sure given your position you already know about the advent of the General Data Protection Regulation next year, wrote Peter Lukas, to Elias Bouchard. However, the Lukas family wishes to be crystal clear that our continued investment is contingent upon the Institute taking its responsibilities with regards to privacy and confidentiality seriously.
The Magnus Institute hires a Data Protection Officer. He sets about diligently booking in meetings, writing policy documents, and training all the staff in the importance of confidentiality. Now if only he could get hold of the Head Archivist, who seems to have vanished again...
(Jon is only trying to save the world, but apparently some people think he should still be doing his day job.)
10/10. Fun take on the texting/email trope. Jon pines and destroys laptops. IT suffers.
ceylon, assam, and darjeeling by sciosa
People do not bring Jonathon Sims tea. Martin Blackwood, newly-minted archival assistant, has apparently not received this memo.
It’s about the pining.
ways to save the world by Wildehack
“I left you,” Martin says softly.
Really REALLY good pining, Jon in the Lonely and brief amnesia.
from the highways to the hills, our love has never had a leg to stand on by blackwood (transjon)
She always forgets how observant he is because digging anything meaningful out of him can be a chore. He looks at things. He observes. He catalogues. Georgie is like a library patron trying to check out a book labeled REFERENCE ONLY with a bright red piece of tape wrapped around the spine.
Pre-canon canon compliant character study of Jon/Georgie.
same as it ever was by ajkal2
It’s a nice dress. Classy, if also a little risqué. Set off against dark skin, it looks very good. It would probably work on Jon, actually. He wonders where she got it. Then he remembers he’s at work, and abruptly derails that train of thought.
-
The women of the Magnus Institute are holding a protest against the sexist dress code of their place of work. Jon is conflicted, and also has a gender for some reason. What's up with that?
THEE they/them fic. Nonbinary Jon? Check. Trans Martin? Check. The Anti-Elias Agenda? Check. Tim in a cocktail dress? Check check check. This fic has everything.
remind me how to smile bytamerofdarkstars
Jon is probably fine, just hiding out somewhere while the whole murder thing blows over and that's... fine. Martin is fine with that explanation. Really. He's got plenty to distract himself - like listening through the entire What the Ghost episode library, for example. Or watching Georgie Barker's Instagram livestreams.
A oneshot during Jon’s stay with Georgie. Tons of fluff.
Milk After Spiders by chewsdaychillin
 Warm milk is all he gets.
 After that door closes and the world is eerily slammed back to normal, Jon’s legs unfreeze and he stumbles back off the step. Makes the journey home alone and wobbly, no desire left for exploring (it won’t return for a long time).
basically sad jon childhood and adulthood hurt/comfort but the comfort is mad delayed :/
Jon suffers. That’s the fic.
Family, Found by Dribbledscribbles
It’s Basira who catches onto it.
The collective shift that seems to come over them when heading in or out of the Institute. Not just the oppressive sensation of being observed, their every move catalogued for the voyeuristic cravings of some unseen Eye(s). That feeling remained with them even when they left the Institute these days, but it was always stronger inside its walls. That wasn’t the change. Nor was it the point.
The point was: making life worse for Jonathan Sims.
JON SUFFERS. THAT’S THE FIC.
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heleizition · 4 years
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I demand for fic recs from you!!!!!!! *excited screaming*
im guessing we’re going for dc fics here bc thats the only fandom ive posted for in a while sefojfseosjef sorry haikyuu u_u
ive been inhaling a few 1000k+ words of dc fics over the past three months so have this whole list because i couldn’t just choose some i had to give all of them
many of these were in the most bookmarked fics of the tags i was looking up so u might have already read them......
Damian Wayne sneezes like a kitten 
Gen, 3k, exactly what the title says, adorable, damian and tim shenanigans
Liminal Spaces
Serie, Mature, 195k, TW for violence, depression, tim really isnt doing so well, reference to attempted assault in the second big fic Compression. 
Bruce from the Young Justice cartoon rescue Tim from comics (but like worse) from letting him just, slowly kill himself with work and Depression, except the situation is worse than that and tim needs a hug.
Oh Brother
T, 10k, reference to the all for the game/the foxhole court books, but can totally be understood without any knowledge of them (idk shit about them). jay goes to college far away from gotham and his family just drops in and hes Annoyed.
Tim Drake is the saddest person I’ve ever met
Gen, 5k7, heavy references to depression. Damian gains some empathic powers for a little while and learns that Tim is really not doing so fine.
Aemulatio
Gen, 4k, Duke and some moments with the members of his new family !!!!
Repeat your favorite mistakes and love them all again
Bruce/Clark, T, 160k, the kids get deaged and Bruce has to deal with them but Clark ends up helping. Dads.
hold him close.
Gen, 4k, ABO AU, Bruce gets hit with cuddle pollen and his victim is tim.
I’m alone here, I think
Tim/Kon, T, 93k, Witch AU, stuff happens and Tim ends up forgotten by his loved ones on a greek island, and then one day Kon shows up, even tho he doesn’t remember Tim. (honestly its a hard fic to explain without revealing that much but MAN its amazing)
Don’t touch me
T, 13k, Tim gets hit with a pollen that gives him unbearable pain when he doesnt have a skin to skin contact with another person, which causes problems when he’s never been fond of it to beging with
Love Song
Gen, 2k8, Tim is determined to make Damian call him a big brother, but Damian is stubborn.
The Antonym of Philtre
M, 3k, attempted assault. Dick gets roofied at a gala.
Watch this
Gen, 2k4, Hal and Barry are worried about Batman’s new partner.
Leap, Fall, Fly
Tim/Kon, E, 12k3, Tim and Kon figure some stuff out.
Two Bird, One Stone(d)
Gen, 5k8, mentions of depression and suicidal thoughts.Tim ends up stoned after a drug bust, and Dick and Bruce take care of him.
Bat Naps
T, 6k8, all of the batkids have learned to take naps in their own personal different way.
The Vulnerable
T, 3k2, attempted assault. Everyone is out of town so Jason is in charge of looking out for Tim.
Conner Kent VS the menstrual hygiene aisle
T, 1k, Trans Tim asks Conner to get him tampons because thats what bros do.
Juneberries
T, 68k, Tim gets kidnapped while helping Damian escape, mind break follows.
When you’re in pieces (and still falling apart)
Serie, M, 9k, mentions of assault and sex work. Dick disappear from Gotham and Bruce’s life after he gets kicked out.
free (as a bird)
T, 11k8, mentions of child abuse. Autistic Tim growing up as Robin.
On my chest, on my heart
T, 20k3, Tim/Kon, no capes or powers AU, high school AU where seniors get assigned a pen pal.
Mind you head, i’ve lost my mind
M, 9k6, Tim helps Conner deal with his anxiety.
Implications
T, 19k, Tim/Bart. Bart has a Tim related revelation. Teen angst follows.
Boys of Summers
T, 5k4, Tim/Kon, side Kon/Cassie. No capes/powers AU. Tim gets sent to summer camp and meets Conner.
The Stand-In
M, 2k3. Depression. Sometimes Tim feels like Tim Drake is just a stand in for Robin.
“no” and other four letter words
M, 24k, past abuse disussions, coping with trauma. In which Dick Grayson learns about consent.
(this last fic is actually the one my friend made me read and that got me really invested . .. these are my KIDS your honor)
ayyyy here we are i could have added much more but its half past midnight and i work tmrw .... hope i at least made you discover some fics!!!!
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lairofsentinel · 5 years
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that bi post is interesting- i guess i have a third pov tho. ive seen some people use bi in a "new" way, to mean stuff like "attracted to women and nb people", "to men and nb people" or "attracted to several genders but not necessarily all" and so on, but also to mean, yeah, pan. and ngl thats cool. i think bi's pretty much a neat catchall for multisexuals of all kind, a bit like how queer is a catchall for anyone not cis or straight, and historically bi even used to group ace people too.
i reread your tags three times and actually it seems that we agree- i guess im just tempted to say that while everyone agrees on the meaning of pan, some people however use it differently to reflect their experience better. but unlike most people i dont view it as a bad thing but way more as something great because people can talk about their experience without feeling bound by, well, limits and definitions and blah i guess ? and as a trans person i find this great and important, not transphobic
Hello there,
thank you for sharing your pov.
I mean, the “new” way sure has a lot to do with “in which country you live”. Here, where I live, people is not using bi-pan in any new different way. But I've seen/read certain strange uses online. [the funniest use and also the only one that annoyed me was, time ago, when some weird straight people started to say: “I'm bisexual, but I only like men/women”.... like... what? How that bisexuality works? XD, but anyway, I'm nobody to go as a gender/sexuality police. Pft, I can't even speak English properly in a discussion. xD]. Also, years ago, some weird people started to say that pansexuality included trans people, while bisexuality no, so they kind of enforced the concept that “bisexuality ” had a transphobic root in its own... which is stupid, since statistics shows that trans people has quite more chances to be in a relationship with a bi/pan partner than a gay/hetero one... so.... soooooo......really crazy the way people spread misinformation. 
The meaning of the tags... well... it's long: I can't be anything else but chill about the enormous amount of words that LGBT community has crafted along these last years, because sure, we all want to have the exact right word for us, to condense all our complexity in a single word XD. But let's be honest, no way that would happen, ever. So, until people “discovered” [or more like accepted] that gender and sexuality are a spectrum and are more complex than 3 or 4 words, we developed a lot of words along the way, and made use of the same word with several different uses, making of this world a more complex one [because we are never satisfied with our own :P]. And I'm not even counting on the fact of those “re-appropriated” words that were a slur previously, back in time, such as queer. Those words are a whole lot of mess. 
Two simple examples:
A friend of mine at work is a bisexual woman [happily married with her wife
Another case: I, for example, feel super weird with labels. I'm nb, I give a fuck to any word of any gender. But I live in a Spanish speaking country and.... the HELL with the strongly gendered languages... I keep jumping from masculine to feminine or using the “new” neutral forms with -e [that all puritans hate and fight me for that]. But still yet, I keep using the word gay [in English, because at least it's more neutral than any other], because for the world, I'm a gender that can't be hidden once I speak [you know, damn voice] and I kind of be attracted to people of the “same” gender that everyone attaches to me [I said it in that way, because I'm more like a demy-gay, but forget to use demisexual here, nobody knows shit XD]. So... the obvious, shortest way, and efficient way to get rid of that problem every time I have to deal with that [aka, some person asks me with a reasonable argument that doesnt make me to toss them away], it's the word gay. But again, not even that means what it usually means, in my case. But again, imagine explaining all this shit, all the time, every time someone asks me with good reasons?. No way, I'll get bored of all that jabber.
So, these 2 single examples are to explain that... well, LGBT identity words, today, are a mess. Especially if you start adding those trans-masculine and trans-feminine and a lot of extra adjectives.... to me it's more confusing to understand what that person truly is, but what it's clear with that is that such person has a complex identity that wants to be acknowledged. So, if I know this, and if it's relevant for some valid [aka non-creepy] reason, I would ask to understand exactly the shade they mean, so I can acknowledge them properly. Because every gender and sexuality is a mess by its own. We will never get one single word that can embrace it wholly. I know some lucky people got it, they are gay, and cis, or trans and hetero and they are super fine with that...and I'm happy for them, they don't need extra explanations for describe their genders and sexualities xD.
That's why my tags were like that. Pansexuality appeared some decades ago [it's a super young word], specially in countries that are not USA [which it is the country that everything usually revolts around, here in tumblr]. Pan is a super new word, that mostly young people would be more inclined to use. It's more meaningful for young people [maybe. This is not a must. More like an average estimation.]
It's like queer. The oldest LGBT people, with USA-background, will probably hate it to use it. They attached to that word a slur shade that pierced their lives, it's too harmful even to use as a re-appropriated word. Yet, young people love it. Specially people without usa-background. Some of them can't even fathom the hard history meaning behind it.  
Well, queer word, outside the history, is a whole mess in its own XD. What does a person mean when they say that they are queer? Are they gay? Are they trans? Are they nb? . Nobody knows. And it's ok, the clear meaning in that word is “look, I'm not cis and/or hetero”. And that's the way it works. I like to use it sometimes too, now that it has been popularised in the South hemisphere thanks to the influences of Butler. 
So, yeah, we agreed, anon. XDI tried to say the same as you in my messy tags. I wrote that because sometimes I find such a nerdrage about the **chastity** or the **purity** of languages with this mess of words, or the annoyance of people that don't know the 52 labels at our disposal to describe the LGBT experience. And I simply say that it's okay not to know all of that, and not to force or stress into picking one, because most probably, you will not get it completely explained in one single word, since words, despite being 52, are limited, and sexuality and gender is a whole mess with flavours, colours and shits, that—even worse—may change with time xD.
So... the most mature attitude I think someone can take about this mess is to relax about those labels, pick the ones they think fits better for them, and understand that everyone has their own gender/sexuality, and that label may not suffice, so, when it's relevant, it's ALWAYS important to speak honestly. Yeah, all this textwall could never enter into the tags. xD.
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more trans ramblings (tramblings?) - to T or not to T, that is the question
so i’m writing this so i have some thoughts to show my therapist next week instead of scouring my brain for them but im posting it on the internet instead of keeping it in a word document or some shit cause i need some of y’all to relate and i’m already way too personal on here anyways. and also at this point this is my personal blog too, i’ve given up entirely on keeping it just for video games. tl;dr: please tell me i am not the only one with stupid amounts of doubt going against the stupid amounts of evidence that i am very transgender. 
tw: long post, doubts, testosterone/hrt effects discussed in detail, (don’t read this if you know me irl and haven’t personally talked with me about being trans? otherwise go ahead), nsfw cause we’re talking about genitals but mostly towards the end of the second to last paragraph (i’ll strike the nsfw stuff), mention of rape but no discussion of it happening, lemme know if i missed anything
so as my last transpost said im very excited for my hysto that im nowhere near getting but im flip-flopping as to whether or not i want to go on t. i know i can get it fairly quickly if i decide i do want it. there’s a trans health clinic in walking distance from where i am moving in 23 days, i have 3 therapists who will write me a letter of recommendation for testosterone, and my mother even found me the trans health clinic so she’ll try to find me somewhere else to go if they don’t take me in for some reason. (having a supportive mom is great i don’t miss her crying about how hard it is to have a trans kid in january and february.) and i’ve looked thoroughly at the effects of testosterone and have sorted them into pros, neutrals, and cons. (posting it here again mostly bc i need to do it but i also need some of yall to relate and/or validate me and/or answer my weird questions)
pros:
voice drop. im so tired of having a squeaky voice which is exacerbated by me always being anxious, and my sister has a deeper voice than me and always tries to sing ridiculously low parts to stretch it for some reason which makes me feel insecure. and apparently my voice is “always squeaky” according to my dad and like? shit man i pass until i talk that’s just the tea. 
i dont even care if i have a super deep voice, i actually think i’d rather be a solid tenor because that’s the vocal range of most of my favorite songs, but i want to sound like a man when i talk and not an 8 year old girl
side note apparently a lot of trans guys have male “internal voices” but mine just sounds like how i sound when i talk because i’m a very literal person and that’s why it took me forever to figure out i was trans and not having a male internal voice makes me dysphoric sometimes and even doubt that i’m trans at all... that’s dumb af i know it’s just my literal personality type not me actually being a girl
more muscle. i dont work out as it is right now but if i knew i’d see results the way i want them then i probably would. also im getting ripped during the school year anyways bc i walk everywhere with a 15-20 pound backpack strapped to me so i’m at least gonna look semi muscular which is what i want anyways. please give me strength quite literally i can barely lift bro
bottom growth. ik it’s still not going to be ~enough~ or whatever but i’d have... something? that would be nice. 
side note would packers start to be uncomfortable with something there bc i wonder about that sometimes. not that mine is super uncomfortable now or anything (i just haven’t figured out how to make it sit right) but i wonder about that
NO PERIODS NO PERIODS NO PERIODS NO PERIODS NO PERIODS
if im one of those guys whose periods dont stop on t i am actually going to perform a hysto on myself
fat shifting from hips, thighs and butt to my stomach. i don’t care if i have stomach chub or not, but i DO care that my hips are Like That and my things are Really Girly and i have a fucking Girl Butt TM like please just let me Not Have These Problems
having a more angular face. doesn’t happen to everyone per se but because of my facial structure as it is and also what my dad looked like when he was my age, i probably will get this change. i have actively wished for this since i was 13 and didn’t even know dysphoria was a word. hopefully it makes my lips a little thinner too or at least more masculine.
veins becoming more prominent. i have this one pic of me where it looks like i have Guy Arms and i just wanna look like that all the time ya know
lookin like a dude and passing? that counts right
neutrals:
facial hair. i know a lot of trans guys want this but i’ve never wanted one. i just want a jawline to cut a bitch tbh i’m never having more than stubble except the beard imma wear to my high school reunion
body hair. this is more of a pro-neutral ig bc i want it on my arms and legs but would prefer not to have a lot on my chest and stomach. fortunately i dont think my dad has a whole lot but i’m a pretty hairy afab person as it is i just dont wanna be a werewolf lmao
hair loss at temples. i just don’t care about my hairline enough for this to really bother me. maybe i will when it happens but *shrug*
scents of sweat/bo/urine changing? idk i feel like it will be weird, maybe gross if it turns out bad but honestly i don’t really care what i smell like as long as i don’t smell like a dumpster fire? i shower it’s fine lmao
rougher skin? i dont know if i’d like having rougher skin but i also dont like being an uwu soft boi so
acne. nobody wants it but like... i already have stress-acne right now and don’t really give a shit because i hate how my face looks anyways. not that i want a fuckton of acne because nobody does but im not gonna cry myself to sleep over it ya feel? it’s an annoyance but not really a con
cons:
increase in sex drive. not to be nsfw but masturbating is a chore as it is. it hasn’t been fun since i realized i had crippling bottom dysphoria and even then i can’t get off unless i’m completely distracted from my body (either through porn or being too tired to care). also i have like a 2% chance of ever having a partner so i really dont wanna have to deal with having the sex drive of a 12 year old boy when im 19, single, depressed, and dysphoric. im not even asexual but this is the worst con
emotional changes. yall know at this point i dont have the best temper, and i dont want t to exacerbate that. now, some of my friends have said that t has made them much calmer and actually less irritable, but the rest of my friends said t makes them angry. i have poor anger management and i know it. i don’t need it made worse. it’ll fuck my life up for real
increase in appetite. listen i have gastritis, ibs and acid reflux i cannot afford to be needing to eat more than i currently do
so as yall can see i have a fair number of all 3: 8 pros, 6 neutrals, and 3 cons. and what’s more, all of the cons are things that don’t have anything to do with my appearance (which my therapist and i noticed during our session a couple weeks ago and really made me think i should go on t). so then the answer should be clear: i should go on t, right? deal with having a fucked high sex drive and be pissed off because of it but finally be able to see my reflection in the mirror. so it should be obvious. what the hell am i waiting for?
the main reason i’m hesitant is i’m afraid i’ll want to detransition. even though i KNOW it rarely happens and the women who do thought they were trans because of unaddressed traumas relating to being female or have a personality disorder. i have neither of those things: the only female-related trauma i have is being slut shamed by my mom for wearing tank tops and any shirt that wasn’t a crew neck and one guy saying he’d rape me in 9th grade because he thought rape and sex were the same thing (for his sake i hope he’s grown the fuck up!! i’m not traumatized from this i just made my teacher not let him sit next to me in class and told him to stop talking to me. sadly this is the most sexual attention i’ve ever gotten), and the only mental illnesses i have are depression and anxiety (unless we’re counting dysphoria, which i definitely have). i also sometimes feel like i discovered it too late: i didn’t say “i’m not a girl” until i was 14, refused to explore my gender until i was 17, and didn’t fully accept i was trans until i was 18. and other dumb shit: i never tried to pee standing up so im not really trans even though i didn’t know what a penis was until i was like 9, ive caught myself twice recently wishing for longer hair which made me feel feminine and gross and dysphoric (even though i know hair length =/= gender??), and im not in danger of suicide if i don’t get testosterone and top surgery RiGhT nOw. the prospect of me detransitioning isn’t likely, when you look at all the facts, but the prospect makes me anxious because everything makes me anxious. i am the poster boy for anxiety. and yes, i know i would have said that even when i accepted that i was technically the poster girl but i would have said poster boy anyways because it was “gender neutral” and didn’t rub me the wrong way like poster girl would have. same reason i insisted on being a dude instead of dudette and only described myself with words that didn’t have a female equivalent in french class even if it wasn’t true. so what the hell am i waiting for.
like i know i shouldn’t be doubting at this point because it’s so, so obvious that i’m trans. just because i didn’t try to pee standing up when i was little or ask why i didn’t have a penis doesn’t mean i’m not a guy. i logically know this. like when i was 11 and i insisted to myself i had a male brain but knew i shouldn’t say that out loud because that was weird and i wanted to be a normal girl who didn’t have a weird male brain, and when i was 7 and at my friend sarah’s house and her room was super pink and girly and i literally thought the sentence “is this what i’m supposed to be like?” and when i was 14 and cut my hair into the Typical Queer Girl Pixie Cut and my hair was just??? gone like i wanted it to be when i was 9 and ended up with a bowl cut instead, and instead of looking in the mirror and thinking i looked like an owl when i was 9 i smiled at how “androgynous” (masculine) i looked, and when i was 11 and only hung out with boys at summer camp and they treated me like one of them and the girls were really mean to me but it was the best summer i’d ever had, and when i was 15 and my friend chris joked that i was the “guy” in my lesbian relationship and i was so fucking happy, and when i was 15 and starving myself because i loved my “angular” figure and jaw,  and when i was 16 and wearing a dress to winter formal because my ex met me in one and i wanted to be cute for him but i picked the dress that looked like a suit because it looked very “queer” (masculine), and when i was 14 and literally went “hmmm im gonna bind my chest just because i wanna know what it would look like” and it made me so euphoric and i knew in that instant i wasn’t a girl but repressed it for 3+ years because dealing with it would just be too hard, and when i was 11 and knew it was going to be my last day going to school without a bra on and just being so ashamed even though i wanted breasts so i’d be a normal girl, and when i was 16 and wearing that backwards snapback all the time and my friend said it was what tops did and i was so happy that nobody would consider me a bottom or whatever stupid shit because i couldn’t imagine myself being penetrated ever in my cisgender gay life, and when i was 16-17 and scouring the lesbian section of pornhub for pov/strap-on videos bc i wanted to know what it would look like to fuck a girl with a dick without watching straight porn because i’m 100% a gay female because the word lesbian is too girly im not a trans guy or anything haha, and when i was 14-and-onwards wondering why it felt so empty between my legs and why it felt like i was supposed to have a dick lmao im totally a girl though haha, and when i was 15 and had to google how to masturbate bc i couldn’t figure it out naturally and still felt like i was doing it wrong, and when i was 15 and looked at my vagina in the pocket mirror i got from selling like 30 boxes of girl scout cookies in 2007 and my first thought was “that is not my body,” and when i was 16 and actually very upset that i couldn’t ejaculate when i orgasmed. trans who? what the fucking hell am i waiting for
seriously. i was 7 and looking at my 2nd grade yearbook photo thinking “that doesn’t look like me,” and i was 13 and looking in the mirror saying “that doesn’t look like me,” and i went through all of my adolescence waiting for “puberty to turn me into a girl” and then i was 17 and done with puberty and crying because my body was still wrong. i can’t believe how hard i tried throughout my whole adolescence to be some facet of “normal girl” so i wouldn’t get bullied and be dateless forever and thinking “puberty hasn’t turned me into a girl yet” and not stopping to think about what i was if i wasn’t a girl until puberty was done, i realized it wasn’t going to happen, and it was too damn late for me. now i’m 19 and don’t leave the house without either a binder or a sports bra/baggy layers combo and i’d wear my packer everywhere if i could figure out how to get it to sit right (and also get it past my parents lmao).  like if anyone else rattled off that list of trans shit i wouldn’t question them for a second. but because it’s me and i’m like “what if i’m transwashing my memories? what if i’m gaslighting myself?” i’m still not on testosterone and please validate me. tell me other trans people doubt themselves, no matter how obvious it is that they’re trans. tell me it’s okay to doubt hrt, even though you know it will be so much more likely to help you. tell me it’s okay to be afraid of detransitioning, even though it’s okay if i DO decide to detransition and it’s so unlikely anyways considering all the evidence of Me Not Being A Fucking Girl.
if you read this all the way to the end here’s an awkward hug and some brain bleach im not even drunk or high i can’t even blame substances for this behavior 
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theklancecollection · 7 years
Note
Hi do you know of any fics where either Keith or Lance are trans boys?
Hey there Anon!
These fics are in the collection, and ones that I have read myself:
Trans!Lance:
In English, Please - Anonymous
Word Count: 4, 943
Summary: Lance thinks he can get away with flirting with Keith if it’s in Spanish. Lance thinks if he says the words angrily enough no one will catch on to the ruse. Lance thinks his secret crush is safe. Lance, my friends, is very…very wrong.
Trans!Keith:
We’re Still Good - Qpenguin98
Word Count: 1, 913
Summary: He can feel Lance’s heartbeat, warm through the leather of his gloves.
It’s very quiet, for once Lance has nothing to say.
Below the cut are 41 fics that have been categorized into trans!keith, trans!lance, and trans!keith & trans!lance. Just so you know I haven’t read them myself, so read them at your own discretion:
Trans!Keith:
This love won't ever be convenient - Lynn1998
Word Count: 78, 078
Summary: *Complicated by Avril Lavigne plays in the distance*
I'll Never Be Her - Zirijava
Word Count: 4, 202
Summary: Kat’s life is amazing. She has wonderful friends, an equally wonderful, but albeit weird, boyfriend Lance and a scholarship to the college of her dreams! But what would Lance say when Kat tells him that his girlfriend is a trans boy?
Or, Kat realizes she’s maybe a boy and suddenly everything he built up comes crashing down. Will his boyfriend be okay with having a boyfriend? Kat doesn’t know yet.
Hell Week - juniperallura
Word Count: 540
Summary: For prompt: "Can you write a story about Trans Boy Keith on his period? And he has cramps but his bf(s) is helping him with it and it's adorable? It doesn't matter who the bf(s) is."
Keith gets cranky on his period, but Lance doesn't care
Girl In Drag - Zirijava
Word Count: 2, 730
Summary: ”You just want to get attention, why else would you start walking around like that?”
I sighed. ”All I ever wanted was to be myself.”
She held up her hands. ”I get that, I do. But if you don’t want the world to know, then why make it so flashy? When people look at you, they don’t see a boy. They see a girl in drag. Why don’t you just do us all a favor and be who you’re supposed to be.”
You're you, that's what matters. - ghostlyghouls
Word Count: 1, 874
Summary:Lance hears Keith crying in his room late at night and decides to find out why.
Valid - CasanovaStrider 
Word Count: 1, 046
Summary: Keith is a boy. He is. Sometimes he just had a hard time believing it himself. Lance is there to help. 
Rattling the Frames, (Getting Inside My Brain) - truflais
Word Count: 748
Summary: But Keith wasnt taking a chance this time. He wasnt about to ruin his only binder on a stupid whim.
No matter how many times he passed, he could still hear the voice in the back of his head.
You're not a real boy.
You're a girl.
You. Are. A. Girl.
what's better than this just guys being dudes - iamnotalizard
Word Count: 2, 205
Summary: in which keith wants to come out to lance, and does so when he feels safe and happy and not pressured 
Burning Out - lumberjackwiki
Word Count: 6, 226
Summary:Keith could barely function as a human before, but now? He wasn't even human so why should he try?
Surprise, I'm a nice guy! - wholesomeklances
Word Count: 1, 363
Summary: 5 times Lance misgendered Keith + 1 time he didn't
aka5 times Lance had no idea Keith was trans + 1 time Keith actually told him
Burned but not buried - Qpengsin98 (Qpenguin98)
Word Count: 1, 495
Summary: So he stands in the men’s section with his head low, trying not to draw attention to himself.
Keith hates shopping.
teeth and all - viscrael
Word Count: 2, 668
Summary: “Do you want to kiss someone?”
Keith almost drops his Bayard.
You're Not Supposed To Care - Qpenguin98
Word Count: 2, 484
Summary: At the time, Keith had thought it was a stellar idea. Make out with the guy you like, no one suspects a thing. 
Keith's Worst Enemy - wholesomeklances
Word Count: 1, 897
Summary: Keith thinks he shouldn't bother Lance with his monthly subscription to The Blood Flow™. Shiro disagrees.
this oneshot revolves around menstruation! there's no description of blood, but if the subject triggers you for any reason, don't read!
I'm coming out of my cage - wholesomeklances
Word Count: 1, 852
Summary: How Keith came out as a trans boy and then as a gay boy. 
Periods Are a Bitch - hogwartsschoolofanime
Word Count: 951
Summary: Keith would take hours of intense fighting over this. Literally, nothing can be worse than the fucking pain in his stomach. At least Lance is there to give him soup and read Harry Potter.
In which Keith has period cramps and Lance is the best boyfriend ever.
Glass Lion Menagerie - Anonymous
Word Count: 13, 865
Summary: Keith was fragile. Keith did not like to feel fragile. 
A Quarter Past Midnight - Gigapoodle
Word Count: 14, 266
Summary: When Keith found himself standing in front of a hulking blue metal lion, of all things, surrounded by a hexagonal shield like it was straight out of a straight-to-DVD sci-fi movie, he simply guffawed. If this was what the higher beings were trying to guide his hand towards, they could shove that hand up their asses.
Bitter Coffees Shouldn't Sweeten the Heart - Lisboa
Word Count: 4, 569
Summary: For Klance Secret Santa 2016 (the original prompt will be added to the notes along with the name of the amazing person who gave me this prompt on December 25th)
And that’s how he found himself groaning against his pillow as it rained cats and dogs outside, his brain running miles an hour as his heart twitched painfully on his chest. He fell for him, and he fell hard. It should not have happened like this, not when Lance – flirty little Lance who was clearly into girls and not into Keith – meant so much to him. Romance would ruin what they had, and Keith would blame himself forever if that happened.
Ten, Eight, Seven - lordbatty
Word Count: 3, 217
Summary: Ten years is a long time to try and return to a normal state of living. To Keith and Lance, being able to settle down with a family makes it easier. 
I think I'm In Lesbians With You - Qpenguin98
Word Count: 2, 028
Summary: He stops laughing. “Wait what?”
“I’ve never seen Scott Pilgrim before?”
“Holy shit you have got to be kidding me. What, did you grow up in a shack?”
Lance’s face pales as Keith deadpans a “Yes.”
Pick me up, Hold me Down - Qpengsin98 (Qpenguin98)
Word Count: 3, 436
Summary: “Keith, please just- we can talk this out, just get out of the water.”
Stop. Breathe.
Where are you?
Take Time to Breathe - orphan_account
Word Count: 7, 645
Summary: Keith's been part of team voltron for a while now, and theoretically, they should all know each other's secrets. But Keith is still in the closet to all but Shiro, and his dysphoria is eating him alive. When he cracks during a mind-meld exercise, Lance makes it his personal mission to reach out to the red paladin. 
If - WildWolf25
Word Count: 15, 857
Summary: If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, (“If” by Rudyard Kipling)
(How Keith and Lance met and what their lives were like before Twelve Nights)
But The Foundation Is Crumbling - Qpenguin98
Word Count: 4,145
Summary: It’s the safest space they can be in together, piled in a car, eating pizza and backwash soda. No one to give them rules, no one to make fun of but themselves, no one to try and tell them all the things wrong with them. 
Tick Tock - Ididntsignupforthisshit (Oliver_Ravenwood)
Word Count: 117, 477
Summary: Keith knew that his luck probably had little to do with Paula the Bobble Head. In fact, he had a sneaking suspicion that it had to do with the constantly ticking timer creeping up on his left thumb. A Soul Counter, as most called it. It was a natural phenomenon occurring in humans. In each person intended there was an ever present timer, constantly ticking down until the time where they would find their soulmate. When the timer would reach zero, a second tattoo-like marking would appear on the person’s skin – their Soul Mark. This would appear on the person’s soulmate in much the same place. Each pair’s Soul Mark was unique to just the two of them.
OR: The one where Keith was working and he found his soulmate - who just happened to be his favorite actor, Lance MotherF**king Vasquez.
What Could've Been - FaeOfStars
Word Count: 12, 927
Summary: "I hesitated to type, realizing what his last reply meant. He... liked me? I could feel my face heat up a bit more and I peered through my dark bangs to avoid letting him see the redness of my cheeks. His expression still held a hint of anxiousness, but he now wore a small smile on his face as he stared at me, waiting for me to respond. My fingers hovered over the keyboard, unknowing of what to press. Before my fingers could touch a single key, I saw letters begin to appear on the document. Lance was typing again.
'im sorry I shouldnt have said that'
Finally, my fingers moved.
'No, no. It's fine! I just... I don't know. I didn't expect that.'"
--
Keith was in love with Lance. Lance liked him back. It should have been simple from there, but unfortunately, life doesn't always work out the way it should.
Over My Dead Body! - VinVictory
Word Count: 38, 038
Summary: "Hey, Keith? Are you done yet?" Lance asks from behind the door. "Can I come in?"
"Yeah, I'm done changing."
Out of curiosity, Keith looks over his shoulder of how Lance will enter his room. He eyes the door.
"Aaaaannnddd, you're in your boxers." Lance says.
Silence.
Sonovabish went through the door!
*Where Lance is a ghost and Keith is the only one who can hear him! :0Join Keith as he discovers the revelations and the truth behind Lance's death.
Banksy-Ass Wannabe - n00dl3Gal
Word Count: 3, 287
Summary: Lance has done many, MANY stupid things in his 19 years.
But ruining someone else's spray might be the stupidest.
ESPECIALLY if that person is his biggest rival.
(The Graffiti/Street Artist AU that no one asked for, with hints of College AND Coffee Shop AUs, because I'm a giver.)
Trans!Lance
Binder Blues - fairdeath
Word Count: 1, 273
Summary: Lance is tired. Just... tired. Five extra steps to every mission that the others don't follow – bind, cry because it fucking hurts over the blue-black bruises of the last fight, get hit a few times more than necessary, spend 20 minutes catching your breath, ignore the bruises the binder pushes at until the next fight. 
keith's jacket - eyeball
Word Count: 3, 307
Summary: Keith's search for his stolen jacket is set aside when more pressing matters arise. The sobs coming from behind Lance's closed door are a bit more than worrying, so Keith lets himself in. He tries to provide all the support he can, but he can only do so much for the sniveling lump of a boy with tear-filled eyes and a refusal to explain himself. 
throwing shadows - ilgaksu
Word Count: 3, 334
Summary: “Dude,” Lance says, “It’s not my fault he does this!”
“Dude,” Hunk says, and leaves it at that.
Secrets - potato_fan_girl
Word Count: 3, 567
Summary: Only half the team knew.
Contrary to their belief, Lance was actually an expert secret keeper. With a large family like his, he had to know when to keep his mouth shut. So, despite the loud, obnoxious, open persona he displayed for the others, he could also be sneaky.
So, keeping a secret on an unbelievably large castle ship with only six other people on it was easy.
Or at least, it should've been.
(AKA Lance is trans, and because of a really terrible alien, the team finds out.)
Warm Hands - darkinsanity13
Word Count: 4, 279
Summary: Something's rather literally cramping Lance's style. Keith lends him a hand or two. 
Carpe Diems and Chrysanthemums - Gigapoodle
Word Count: 14, 694
Summary: Lance falls unimaginably hard for the biker boy with a black mop of hair and terrible Spanish skills. After years of rivalry, bitter acquaintanceship, and eventual friendship, the realization slaps Lance hard, hard enough to settle into his lungs and sap his life away. It's when he coughs up a petal that Lance realizes just how far gone he is.
Lance McClain decides he is going to die.
A Modern Hanahaki Disease AU.
Trans!Lance and Trans!Keith:
Shades of Purple - candyalpacas
Word Count: 2, 775
Summary: When Lance comes out to the team, he finds out something about Keith he never expected. 
I Refuse to Believe in the Existence of a Universe Where I Don't Love You - wholesomeklances
Word Count: 1, 143
Summary: cute trans boyfriends talk about feelings
Just Hear Those Sleigh Bells Ringing - blumen
Word Count: 1, 752
Summary: “I spent six hours on it and pricked myself at least ten times.”
Keith felt his heart leap to his throat. It was a hideous jumper no doubt but Lance looked so proud that Keith could almost forget-Christ, was that a LED light on the nose? Keith felt like apologizing to both Rudolph and the sanctity of the Christmas spirit.
It's Your Typical, Hardcore Casual Sex - lordbatty
Word Count: 4, 395
Summary: Lance is good. Too good. Too right. Keith is too hurt to admit anything, even to himself. And it was terrifying. 
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vampire-core · 7 years
Note
/post/161320161315 every single Fucking cmnc character. every single one. trust me dude (if u want!!!)
fucken hell yeah hyperfixation time
FRANCES
A: what I think realistically
tbh frances seems like the type of person where playin the piano is like. a coping mechanism for her?? like if shes stressed/angry/havin a Bad Time she either
a: plays a Sad Tune to angst
b: plays something AGGRESSIVE to get her anger out
c, a rare option: plays smth happy to take her mind off it
bc she seems like the person to Wallow in her own sadness tbh im guessin c is Rare but
B: what I think is fucking hilarious
frances wears horribly fucking clashing colors like. bright neon orange and the ugliest brown-green mixed and goes out like that in sunglasses
C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends
frances didnt have a good home and she got with junior to get Out of it and then he turned out to be a piece of shit and her life just spiraled Down
D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway
shes an agender lesbian with three gfs
HENRY
A: what I think realistically
tbh henry totally seems like hed learn to bake for nancy like. i know hes in-canon a horrible cook but like. imagine this sweetie taking secret baking lessons for like Forever and then he surprises nancy on her bday with like. a rlly nice homemade cake and they cry together :’)
B: what I think is fucking hilarious
henry is a clumsy-ass Shit so he breaks things like 384723897423894x and once he managed to break a vase nancy Really liked and she walked in on him Coated in glue and just. “what are you doing” “no nothing what nothing is broken” “henry the vases shards and glue are both everywhere” “everything is fine nancy”
also nancy being at the store and henry seeing a spider and screaming on the counter until she got home
C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends
henry living with the eternal guilt over taking the “wrong” choice even though there was no good choice because he either stayed in a place where no issues were being worked out or he left :^)
D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway
hes a trans bABY AND I LOVE HIM SO FUCKIN MUCH
NANCY
A: what I think realistically
tbh i can imagine her bein in a book club but being the Shy One who never talks during meetings
also i can imagine her learning to paint and Loving It and showing henry the paintings which show what her world is like and hes like “:00!!!”
B: what I think is fucking hilarious
NANCY SPRITING AROUND IN HIGH HEELS TRYING TO CRUSH A SPIDER WHILE SHE AND HENRY BOTH FUCKING SOB BECAUSE SHE CANT MANAGE TO KILL THE SPIDER
C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends
nancy living with crushing guilt and abandonment issues but hiding it because she doesnt want to bother henry and she keeps randomly crying :)))
D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway
shes genderfluid as FUCK and has a gf
BONUS: JUNIOR
A: what I think realistically
tbh this dude is fuckin Shitty and hes def the type of dude to have like 3 gfs at once but not an open relationship just straight-up cheating
B: what I think is fucking hilarious
in a modern au junior discovers furry culture and refuses to wear anything but a pigeon fursuit for three years straight
C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends
he left frances with more trauma than she mayb had :))))
D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway
hes a fuckin furry. let him be a FURRY MAKE HENRY BUFF AGAIN I THINK YOU MEAN MAKE JUNIOR A PIGEON AGAIN
BONUS: PATTY
A: what I think realistically
she has a Huge family and sends all of them christmas cards, and she only has one great-niece who cares enough to reply and visit and stuff and sometimes the neice brings her kids and patty fuckin loves kids and spoils em like a grandchild
also she sends christmas cards to her neighbors and invites them over for dinner weekly
B: what I think is fucking hilarious
she sews and she once had an awful neighbor who was a total bitch so she bought this cheap-ass shirt, fixed it up in a day, but it looked new and beautifully made and the neighbor felt so bad and patty just. >:3c dont be a bitch
the neighbor got to keep the gift tho and was Nicer and patty was :3c
C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends
she feels SO BAD that she didnt notice henry and nancy being missing sooner bc she ALWAYS wanted to be friends w them both and she loved em to bits
D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway
shes a trans lesbian and has a long-time wife :3c
KENNITH (this ones just gonna be kin shit but shhhh ;))) )
A: what I think realistically
if its not a school day and hes home alone kennith 100000% will Not change out of his pajamas and will yell at you for wearing shoes in his room dont fuckin touch him with your nasty-ass feet stephamie
B: what I think is fucking hilarious
KENNITH GETS SUPER DRUNK AND STARTS FORGETTING THINGS HE JUST DID AND GETTING REALLY FUCKING CONFUSED AS STEPH LAUGHS HER ASS OFF THREE FEET AWAY (based on my own experiences)
C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends
kennith has an ed he doesnt know how to deal with and doesnt even think is that Bad so hes just suffering :’))) can relate buddy
D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway
hes trans you cowards and in a qpp with steph
STEPH
A: what I think realistically
steph is Rlly skilled at punching and taught kennith how to punch but also if u rub her back she will Deactivate in .2 seconds so even if she acts tough she has a fuckin self-destruct button and its her back
B: what I think is fucking hilarious
STEPH AND KENNITH MAKING DIRECT EYE CONTACT AS THEY COME UP WITH INCREASINGLY BAD ALTERNATE TITLES FOR A PENIS
C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends
steph tends to put on a Happy Face bc she thinks kenniths problems are worse than hers, so she has no help and no clue how to deal with them and just gets worse and worse :’))
D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway
shes a fuckin lesbian in a qpp with kennith you cowards and shes genderfluid
GREG
A: what I think realistically
this man has fuckin Depression my lads and anxiety and tends to self-medicate with weed even tho he Knows its prob not the best option but i mean. hes a retail worker can he afford meds? no
B: what I think is fucking hilarious
if you do Anything greg will probably stay apathetic, and he can say most things with a straight face. he enjoys making completely filthy jokes with an unwavering neutral expression and watching people crumble
C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends
……………tbh hed prob think he couldve done More to help kennith after he Died but never did so i can imagine hed feel. kinda guilty sdkjfhsdkf maybe my kin ass is just hopeful
D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway
let him have two moms you cowards (also him and kennith are boyfs dont make the rules my kin ass is GAY)
BONUS: JENNY
A: what I think realistically
….tbh they seem like the type of person who always has a sketchpad and paints a lot and is just Super artsy
B: what I think is fucking hilarious
jenny and kennith lock eyes and they can instantly feel the hatred kennith emits bc t h a t s  h i s  f p  but also they can tell he wants steph to be happy and they can SEE the STRUGGLE on his FACE and he looks kind of like an angry chihuahua
C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends
…..tbh i dont have anything for them
D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway
let them be a nonbinary lesbian who draws their gf constantly
BRI (aka kin ass two: electric bogaloo :3c)
A: what I think realistically
tbh they seem like the type of person to have a cat. in my canon it was an orange cat named sherbet B3c they love that cat to Death and show it to avery on video calls
B: what I think is fucking hilarious
bri says “rawr XD” out loud and accidentally says that to a teacher, who stands there for .3 seconds and kind of just goes with it
C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends
they dont actually die and have to live with their gf bein dead :’)
D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway
they live and also so does avery and theyre happy fuck you
AVERY
A: what I think realistically
tbh she seems like the type of person to have a wide friend group but only be “close” close with like. 1-2 people??? and like she loves all of her friends but she cant maintain that many close friends
B: what I think is fucking hilarious
she once laughed so hard she snorted soda out of her nose during a video call
C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends
her last thought is of bri :’)
D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway
SHE AND BRI ARE  H A P P Y AND ALIVE
SPOI
A: what I think realistically
they seem the type of person to like???? fuckin rag on shows while watching them, ie shout at the screen, point out plot holes etc and then say “wtf i loved it” at the end
also they throw popcorn at the screen during the movies
B: what I think is fucking hilarious
they hide under nancys table and let out a vicious shriek whenever nancy accidentally kicks them
C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends
they cause Endless Suffering and dont even care like they cant sympathize or manage to be Decent and like. they LAUGH at it and its like??? a s s h o l e
(and i have like No Empathy but i can still manage to be a nice person so?? no excuse there)
D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway
theyre the one stealing nancys bobbins >:00
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letshavepunsoffun · 7 years
Note
Hey, if it's alright can I please get a match up? I'm a trans guy (and really scared of being judged for it), I really like music (I sing and play guitar) and I really enjoy photography, for he most part I'm pretty quiet and keep to myself, I'm nice to basically everyone except myself (cause honestly I treat myself like crap), I also have this obsession with anything sweet and I cant sleep at night so I'm constantly tired (naps are my best friend) (pt. 1/2)
| (pt. 2/2) and I try my best to be there for other people (even though im in a bad place myself) and I seem to hide the fact my life sucks behind jokes and for some reason my thought process will go from a bad pun/joke to "oh god I'm an idiot I hate myself why am I still here" to thinking about our place in the universe or something and apparently I'm pretty intimidating (I don't see why tho, I'm an insecure 5'4 ball of depression and anxiety who is scared of not belonging)
‘Kay, first of all. I want to pinch your cheeks, give you a hug, and then make you drink hot cocoa in front of a warm fire. Secondly, I know how hard it can be to feel judged for being transgender. First hand experience, actually. I used to identify as a Transgender guy as well. However, after learning about the incredibly large repertoire of gender classifications that exist on Tumblr, and especially the “they” pronoun made popular by Undertale, I’ve settled for Pangender. I can’t comfortably identify as one gender or another, so I kind of just flip flop between them, and what ever pronoun someone calls me, I go with it. As long as they don’t expect me to act either “feminine” or “masculine” 100% of the time.In Junior year, I actually gave my English speech about Acceptance In The World of The LGBTA Community. In which, I told my class that I was transgender. I actually made a lot of people cry, including myself. It was great. That was the most confidence I’ve probably ever had in my life. xDAnyway, sorry for going off topic. And if you ever need a dose of love in the form of a song, take this.
I match you with Undertale Sans!Surprise? Not so sure it is. xD You fit each other perfectly.Sans is probably the most accepting of your gender preference of anyone you’ll ever meet. Not that the other monsters aren’t welcoming and open to the concept. But Sans often reassures you about it because he knows you have a tough time with your anxiety about being judged for it.Sans plays the trombone. Well... Not exactly plays it. More like learns a few notes to make some silly sounds, and then plays those repeatedly. Over and over again... and over... and over... Tell him to stop. It’s 3 AM.Despite his persistent need to bother people (especially his brother) with his trombone, he does enjoy music. Specifically your music. Your voice and your skills at playing the guitar are things he could sit and listen to for hours. He doesn’t do much anyway. So having some music to go with that not doing much is highly welcomed.When Sans sees you taking pictures, he starts doing the same thing. Just... he takes pictures of socks. And nice cream. And Papyrus chasing the dog (and vise versa). Most of his pictures end up blurry and his fingers are usually in the shot. He takes this as an opportunity to tell you how good you are at what you do. If you show him how to take better pictures, he’ll proceed to take pictures of the same exact thing. Over, and over, and over again. Until he’s used all the film, or filled the digital camera up to capacity. If he did it with his phone, he’ll text you each photo. And when you say, “Stop sending me that photo!” He’ll drop the bomb and say, “They’re all different photos.”Sans is an introvert. So he knows a thing or two about being quiet and staying to himself. The fact that you do the same is relieving to him. He loves his brother and all, but sometimes that energy and highly extrovertiveness is tiresome and he just needs a break. Preferably with someone as calm as himself. AKA: You.He appreciates your kindness. Keep in mind. He’s a judge. Even if he doesn’t actually judge people very often. (Ain’t that surprising. Sans not doing his job? Unheard of.) So you being nice to everyone around you does a lot to make him trust you. He trusts you with the emotions of everyone he cares about... including himself. And that’s a big deal. Because he’s not very nice to himself either...Actually, it took Sans quite a while to realize you bullied yourself just as much as he did to himself. But rest assured. As soon as he discovered this, he took it upon himself to shower you in compliments at any given opportunity. Complimenting others is his specialty, after all.Sans doesn’t have a sweet tooth. He prefers salt. With the added taste of ketchup, or course. But he does remember your love of sugar, and will most likely buy you something sweet whenever he’s out and about and has money on hand.Also, both of you need melatonin pills. Just don’t overdose. Because they’re depressants, and can make you feel even worse the next day. Just take the recommended amount and you both should be fine.You both have a very similar ability to hide your honest emotions, and can easily shield yourself with humor. However, it takes one to know one. So you both detect emotional distress within each other like nobody’s business. Though, if you don’t want to talk about it, Sans won’t pry. He respects your need for privacy of thought.PUNS. NEED I SAY MORE? Well... Yes. In fact, I probably should comment that Sans usually just rattles puns off without thinking about them. It leaves his mind to wander while he talks. And his thought typically go in the direction of “Haha... Holy heck, I want to die.” Or “Oh boy! I’m super depressed!” So... just realize that he knows exactly when you’re doing something similar. He can see it in your eyes, mate.Deep conversations is another thing you and Sans can thoroughly get into together. Philosophy is a pretty cool subject to him. Be warned, though. He will throw in a lot of science.Have fun with your grinning potato!
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getsterekt · 7 years
Text
FIC RECS
in honor of gaining another hundred followers on my twitter account @getsterREKT heres another rec list. 
This will just be made up of lots and lots of different types of fics. Make sure to read the warnings for each fic before reading. 
(fics with ** are favorites)
It Takes A Village by  Hypocorismm
Stiles's used to yogurt handprints on his shirts from where he picked her up, and he's used to snot on his shoulders and neck from where she cried after a bad dream. He's used to her legendary tantrums when she doesn't get her way, her eyes glowing ferocious gold. He's used to being the village it takes to raise her, and the pack she longs for.
Except, he needs the pack's help, and Derek's protection when a particularly power-hungry pack wants his cub. And he isn't used to sharing.
WORDS: 49227
RATING: Mature
CHAPTERS: 35/35
WARNINGS: angst, kidnapping, mpreg.
Night Stroll by  Marishna
"Is it night there?"
Derek chuckled. "Yeah, it is. How do you know where I am?"
"I don't, that's why it's weird it's night. That puts you in... Europe?" Stiles asked after some quick math.
Derek raised an eyebrow. "Spain. You haven't lost that..." Derek waved his hand. "Stileness."
WORDS: 3276
RATING: Teen and Up
CHAPTER: 1/1
WARNINGS: derek has insomnia??? is that a warning??? idk
****Prince Among Wolves by  tylerfucklin (Deshonanana)
Looking for full day/evening sitter. 2 twin boys age 4. Must have exp. w/werewolves. Must be human. No pedophiles. No teenage girls. Pay negotiable. 
WORDS: 101,000
RATING: Explicit
CHAPTERS: 20/20
WARNINGS: mild transphobia, derek learns acceptance, broken family, so much angst
Walking Into Darkness by  alenie
Derek hears Stiles before he sees him. There's anxious, wheezy breathing coming from the next aisle over in the grocery store, accompanied by a racing heart and the smell of unwashed sneakers and hair gel. He turns the corner and Stiles is standing frozen in the dairy aisle, knuckles clenched around the metal of his shopping basket.
WORDS: 6342
RATING: Teen and Up
CHAPTERS: 1/1
WARNINGS: panic attacks, anxiety, depression, post 3b, pre-sterek relationship 
****Ashes, Ashes by  ShanaStoryteller
The Sheriff gets a call at work - someone's tried to burn down his home with his son inside.
"I thought of you coming here, and finding me dead, of another burnt out husk of a body, something else fire has stolen from you, of you having nothing left to grasp but ashes," John can't even call that a whimper, it's clearly a whine as Derek's hands tighten against Stile's hips, as if his boy will shudder to dust at the mere mention of the possibility unless Derek's hands can hold him into one piece, "and that thought was worse than dying."
WORDS: 2699
RATING: Teen And Up
CHAPTERS:1/1
WARNINGS: so much angst, stiles nearly burns to death
Just Realize What I Just Realized by  literaryoblivion
He’s never noticed it before; it’s always just been second nature to him these days, does it out of habit, but it’s not until he stops to actually think about it that it becomes abundantly and embarrassingly clear to him that he is in love with Stiles and that they are practically dating without the actual dating part…
WORDS: 2529
RATING: Teen And Up
CHAPTERS: 1/1
WARNINGS: a lil angst, (but mostly fluff)
The Potential Fatality of Assuming by  crossroadswrite
The hair, the buttons and the general happy and slightly tired disposition with which Derek came back from his secret exploits were as obvious as a glaring neon sign flashing the words JUST GOT LAID.
A sign that Stiles ignored because he had a seven year plan god damn it.
(OR: in which Stiles assumes things, gets accosted by the sister he never/always wanted, discovers he was horribly wrong, almost dies via Derek Hale with kids, can't handle all that collarbone action, uses tickling as the ultimate mode of revenge, and gets a boyfriend. In that order.)
WORDS: 2196
RATING: General
CHAPTERS: 1/1
WARNINGS: misunderstandings, because stiles is dumb, lots of pining
****If I Could Trade Mistakes For Sheep, Count Me Away Before You Sleep by  alisaj
"Thing is, Stiles," Derek says, his voice hard and unfaltering. "I didn't sign up for you. You just hung around until we got used to you being here."
That stings. He hadn't realised how Derek feels about him. They've been getting on quite well, teaming up on little missions and bantering back and forth without malice. Stiles sometimes lets Derek crash in his room after a big fight, trying not to let on how intriguing he finds the werewolf.
"Well now we can get used to you not being here. You're a liability, Stilinski. You can't protect yourself and we always end up having to help you when we've got more important things to do. You're out of the pack."
or
The one where Derek is a terrible Alpha and Stiles ends up walking into a big pile of shit.
WORDS: 33,383
RATING: Explicit
CHAPTERS: 1/1
WARNINGS: stiles gets kicked out of the pack, derek is stupid, like, so stupid, stiles gets hurt, theres so much angst in this like wtf, stiles is sad, the pack sucks
Sour Kush (series) by alisvolatpropiis
Stiles mentally curses Erica, because in all of her warnings about how brusque this guy could be, she forgot mention that he’s also hotter than the fucking sun. If Stiles had any lingering questions about his sexuality, they’d be completely settled by what this guy is doing to him. In fact, he might not even be gay anymore. He might be in the midst of crossing into some yet-to-be-named sexuality that’s all about a scruffy black beard and alarming green eyes and muscles and tattoos and this guy’s everything ever.
The guy’s name is Derek, his lust-addled brain supplies distantly.
Well that settles it, then. Stiles is Dereksexual.
WORKS: 3
COMPLETE: it says no but they havent updated in like over 2 years so im guessing its done
WORDS: 15,392
RATING: Explict 
WARNINGS: everyone is stoned all the time, also in work 2 stiles is hurt because he thinks derek is getting it on with parrish, they’re dumb, age difference, derek has a beardddd 
I Just Want You For My Own (More Than You Could Ever Know) by  yodasyoyo
“What is with that sweater, dude?”
Derek ducks his head to look at it, abashed. “Uh- Mrs Hernandez knitted it for me. It’s an early Christmas gift.” He smooths it down self-consciously.
Stiles cocks an eyebrow.
“What? She’s my neighbor and sometimes I-” Derek trails off. Stiles’ other eyebrow rises to join the first, and Derek sighs. “Sometimes I help her carry her shopping.”
Of course he does. One day maybe Stiles will stop being in love with Derek Hale, but today is not that day.
WORDS: 16,065
RATING: Teen And Up
CHAPTERS: 4/4
WARNINGS: pining, fake relationships, they’re both idiots. 
Baby You’re Beautiful by  supernaynay
“God you’re beautiful.”
Derek hadn’t even realized that the words had left his mouth until the whole room went silent, including Stiles, who until about five seconds earlier was busy yelling at him for putting himself in danger yet again.
WORDS: 1089
RATING: General
CHAPTERS: 1/1
WARNINGS: derek is hit with a truth spell
****(Sacred) In The Ordinary by  idyll
The Pack, after college, graduate school and the starting of careers, comes back to Beacon Hills. Nothing's gotten less complicated after all this time.
Based on a kink meme prompt that grew legs and got serious.
Note: This is a whole lot of pack!fic with a very slow build Derek/Stiles.
WORDS: 78,759
RATING: Explicit
CHAPTERS: 9/9
WARNINGS: violence, slow build
Cause I Built a Home (For You, For Me) by  noneedforhystereks
Mechanic!Derek and Daddy!Stiles
Derek Hale is a mechanic in the sleepy town of Beacon Hills, where he has lived all of his life. He spends his day in a simple routine: wake up, fix cars, go home, sleep. It's what he's good at, and it keeps things simple and uncomplicated. Derek doesn't let people in and remains emotionally distant from everyone except his sister, Laura, and her daughter. This all changes when Boyd tows in an old blue Jeep that needs a lot of work and Derek meets the owner of said Jeep.
Because once Derek meets Stiles and his kids, he can't stop himself from caring. And he doesn't want to stop.
WORDS: 59,719
RATING: Explicit
CHAPTERS: 15/15
WARNINGS: angst, pining, emotional hurt, stiles has a lot of baggage. 
Waiting For Our Superman by  tearsandholdme
Derek knew the moment he opened the front door of his clean and pristine apartment to Stiles Stilinski holding a small boy, a cluster of bags, and a suitcase, he was screwed. In every way possible. Undone by the big brown eyes of a small child and his annoying, witty, and attractive father.
WORDS: 95,240
RATING: Mature
CHAPTERS: 22/22
WARNINGS: angst, mpreg, emotional hurt, overprotective derek
Adding You to My Future by  NekoIzumi
“So, I'm Stiles.” he smiled warmly once he had put his unannounced patient down on the exam table. “I will poke and prod you a little bit to check for internal injuries, those that I can’t see because they're inside you, and some of it might hurt but it will pass, I promise. I will tell you everything I'm about to do and why I'm doing it so just stay calm and this will go like a breeze, okay?”
Now, Stiles wasn’t stupid in any way, shape or form, he knew a were when he saw one… although he had obviously never seen a werecat before, and definitely not one as young as this one.
WORDS: 42,252
RATING: Explicit
CHAPTERS:9/9
WARNINGS: violence, like, lots of violence, slow build, gore, emotional comfort, bamf stiles
Stars Plummet: a Christmas Story by  Peckishdragon
When Stiles left Beacon Hills, he never thought he would be coming back. Eight years later, he is coming home for Christmas, with a small passenger in tow. Old feelings, never forgotten, are rekindled.
WORDS: 11,589
RATING: Mature
CHAPTERS: 6/6
WARNINGS: a lil violence, like a tiny bit, 
All They Have by  Nival_Vixen
Single dads AU where Derek and Stiles meet because Derek’s daughter and Stiles’ trans son become friends at school.
WORDS: 4004
RATING: Teen And Up
CHAPTERS: 1/1
WARNINGS: trans child, which leads to ignorant adults being ugly fucks, protective derek 
love comes in all shapes and sizes by  trilliastra
“Daddy says that when I’m in trouble I should get the police because they always help us. You’re going to help me, right?” Stiles smiles at her, happy that today he decided to stop by the grocery store to buy milk after his shift instead of going straight home. At least now he’s able to help the little girl, who knows what would have happened to her if he weren’t around.
“Of course I will.” He smiles again. “What’s your name?”
“Rebecca Hale.” She answers proudly. “My daddy is Derek Hale.”
WORDS: 2207
RATING: Teen and Up
CHAPTERS: 1/1
WARNINGS: kate argent
When You Wish Upon a Dragon by  lupinus
Stiles is at the Hale house, lounging on the front stoop watching Isaac, Erica, and Boyd wrestle, when the baby comes running out of the woods. Derek becomes instant father to a magically appearing baby and falls in love. Stiles can’t take the cute and worries Derek’s heart will break if he loses the kid. 
or, a dragon gives derek a baby, stiles is oblivious, steve just loves his bright pink rocking unicorn and his da and ma 
WORDS: 13,739
RATING: Teen and Up
CHAPTERS: 1/1
WARNINGS: none, but so much fluff
****Lucky That I’m Yours Every Day by  stilinskisparkles
Derek doesn't see how Valentine's Day can get any better than a normal day with Stiles.
WORDS: 6772
RATING: Teen and Up
CHAPTERS: 1/1
WARNINGS: fluff. just. all the fluff. its disgusting how fluffy it is really.
Relationship Status: It’s Complicated by  kellifer_fic
Okay, I know this is a huge stretch for you, but can you please pretend you're like, into me?
WORDS: 4010
RATING: Mature
CHAPTERS: 1/1
WARNING: mentioned stiles/omc 
***************Shot Through The Heart by  LunaCanisLupus_22
All they've given him is the guy’s head shot. And it’s terrible because now he is ridding the world of one more ridiculously attractive, instant pants dropping- take me now, if you please- regulation hottie.
Even if he has a scowl to rival Kirsten Stewart.
Or the one when Stiles and Derek work for rival assassin companies and are sent to kill each other. It definitely doesn't go as planned.
WORDS: 64,833
RATING: Explicit
CHAPTERS: 12/12
WARNINGS: so much violence, they literally try to kill eachother, enemies to lovers pretty much
will to follow through by  owlpostagain
“It depends entirely on how you look at it, I guess,” Stiles shrugs. “On the one hand, instant healing and the apparently inherited ability to pull off leather at all times. On the other, serious attitude problems and a suspicious disappearance of eyebrows.”
“Even Derek’s?” Danny snorts, “that’s a lot of eyebrow to lose.”
“I know,” Stiles agrees. “You should see, it’s so weird. Every time I want to ask him where they go, except he’d totally eat my face off.”
“There are worse ways to die.”
WORDS: 42,411
RATING: Teen and Up
CHAPTERS: 2/2
WARNINGS: angst, mentions of violence, 
Professor D. Hale (series) by  har1ey_quinn
A series of outsider POVs on Professor Hale and his significant other (with some guest appearances from the pack)
WORKS: 7
COMPLETE: possibly
WORDS: 18,008
RATING: Teen and Up
WARNINGS: none
go on without me!!!! (or the one where stiles is cursed by witches and overreacts to everything) by  day
Stiles is cursed by witches and he can't react like a normal human being. Scott is a terrible best friend and can't stop laughing. Derek just wants it all to be over.
WORDS: 1396
RATING: General
CHAPTERS: 1/1
WARNINGS: crack
******For My Next Trick, I'll Regret All of My Life Choices: a performance by Derek Hale and 80% of his eyebrows by  crossroadswrite
(978): I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW. . “What’s wrong with my eyebrows?”
Kira gives him a sympathetic look, and climbs up to sit next to him, “You kind of… don’t have one.”
“I what!” he shouts, wincing at the volume of his own voice.
Kira pats him on the shoulder and shoves a piece of toast in his hand.
“It’s not that bad,” she tries to console him with a smile, then glances up at his left eyebrow and winces, “It could definitely be worse. It’s not all gone. Just. Half of it.”
Derek considers crying into his orange juice but decides that would be a waste and because his mother taught him how to be a good guest he opts to drink it instead.
WORDS: 2566
RATING: Teen and Up
CHAPTERS: 1/1
WARNINGS: none buT THIS FIC IS AN ALL TIME FAV, THE FUCKING SQUIRRELS VIKING BURIAL GETs ME EVERYTIME, AND BATMAN OH MY
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