#and my test isn’t until 4pm tomorrow so like. I’ve got time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shhhlikeme · 4 years

Note

Hello! I want to start off by saying you’re really pretty and your writing is amazing 🥺👉👈 Could I request a oneshot where the s/o of either Yamaguchi or Suga (which ever you prefer they are both my babies) get into an argument and the s/o ends up flinching out of habit during it, and maybe some cute fluff at the end?

Sugawara Koshi x Reader Angst Fluff !!!!

———————————

A/N: Hello! EYEEE want to start off by saying im blushing thank you angel💖💖💖 of course you can. Request anytime I’m all ears and keyboard taps!

This is super fluffy so I hope you like it!!!!

Yams is my favourite but I haven’t written a Suga story yet and I have a little crush on him so I’ll pick him, yay! (Also, Suga’s voice actor in the dub sounds so attractive to me ugh)

———————————

“Hey baby!” You walked into your boyfriend’s room that his parents let you into. You flicked the lights on.

can we all collectively agree that Suga’s parents are some Queen Elsa & Jack Frost looking mfs?!

Surprised because you didn’t tell him you were stopping by, Sugawara’s eyes lit up when he saw you

“Y/N, what are you doing here?” He scrambled off his bed to you, giving you a chaste kiss.

You can’t tell anyone this, but Suga’s parents secretly invited you because they have been worried about their son

From their perspective, Suga came home everyday seemingly drained and depressed

He would mutter a hello to his parents, go straight to his room and lock the door

You didn’t know this, because your boyfriend was completely normal with you and with his friends from school

He was his regular cheeky self that you loved

But you couldn’t deny his parents anything and you wanted to see your baby so you agreed to come over one night after school to kind of “catch him in this act” that his parents described

You scanned your handsome boy’s face and it made you frown

He did looked drained. That’s not normal considering school had been out for maybe an hour and you just saw him during last period looking chipper.

He had lines under his eyes and his shoulders were slumped/lower than usual. Not to mention his eyes betrayed him because they looked like someone who was really going through it, even though you could see that his spirits lifted with your entry

You didn’t say anything, opting to poke his stomach instead and smile up at him

for someone’s whose weak spot is his ticklish tummy, the joy from his laugh didn’t reach his eyes whole heartedly like they normally did

You tested one last time.

“I made you tempura, just the way you like it,” You placed the wrapped dinner plate you bagged on his dresser, gauging his reaction.

Koshi appeared like he was a stage actor when he gave you a big smile and said thanks.

Your heart immediately sank then, because you knew his parents had been telling the truth.

There was something wrong with your Koshi. Very wrong.

Ok. Here goes.

You turned around to lock his room door and took his hand

You gestured for him to crawl back into bed which he seemed genuinely happy about.

You straddled his waist, sitting in a position where he couldn’t hide his face from you nor could he escape when this questioning started

“Uh oh. You only sit on me like this when you want “to talk.”

You nodded. He knew.

Your boyfriend liked talking about his feelings but not when they could potentially bring down the mood of others.... and with this specific circumstance where he was able to hide his sadness from you so well, you had no choice but to jump straight into playing hardball.

“Shishi.” You used the embarrassing pet name you made for him and he slightly blushed.

Marry him, aight?

“Yeah? You okay? I’m listening baby tell me.” He looked at you with his shining eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

Suga didn’t miss a beat. He was well rehearsed. “Wait—me? This talk is about me? Nothing. Why do you ask?”

“Well why are you laying in your bed with the lights off at 4pm? You’re usually doing your school work at this time. That’s what you text me.”

Suga sighed. “I was just tired today, that’s all.”

“Shishi.....”

“Y/N, baby. trust me I’m fi-“

“Is it about volleyball?”

Koshi sat up quickly, cradling your back to make sure you were safe. He scooted backwards, making it so his back was leaning on his headboard.

“Can I please put you next to me?” He asked.

You mentally noted that he didn’t answer the question.

And that he wanted to get out of this “truth spell” position

So it was about volleyball. You ignored his question back and pushed forward.

“Did something happen? Is Daichi injured again? Or is Ukai quitting—“

Suga locked his jaw, looking away from you. “No no. It’s not that— I’m fine. I’m good.”

You couldn’t tell who he was trying to convince more: you? Or himself?

You pushed a bit further.

“Tomorrow is your Senior game, right? You, Asahi, Daichi and Kiyoko will be awarded for the years you put in, right?”

Suga, looking pained, gently moved you off his lap to sit next to him. He got out of bed and paced the room. You knew you were about to crack him but you weren’t too concerned because he needed to let whatever this was out. It’s bad enough that your baby was having such internal conflict like this. It was depressing him and he was dealing with it all by himself.

You stared at him and moved to sit up on your knees, prepared to deal the final blow.

“Are you sad about not playing, Shishi?”

The volcano that Sugawara had been trying so hard to keep in finally erupted at your words.

“SAD?! Am I sad?!” He practically roared at you loudly.

You flinched because it was the first time you have ever heard your boyfriend raise his voice in anger, let alone at you. You remember that he told you he’d only shown his team that side of him once during a game and they were shook, rightfully so. He was kind of scary like this.

“YES I’m sad! But mostly, I’M PISSED! EVERYONE expects me to walk on stage tomorrow and accept an award I had no part in contributing to?! I have been on this team for 3 years, 2 of those years as a starting setter and those two years accounted for bullshit seasons for Karasuno. The one year I sat my ass on the bench is the year we WIN! The year the crows got their wings back I AM SITTING OUT! No one wants to admit it but what the fuck does that tell you, me, and everyone, huh?! It tells us that I was the problem. I was the broken part: the gear that caused the machine to malfunction. The gear that Kageyama came in and fixed—2 years my junior. I’m pathetic, you know?! How many captains sitbon the fucking bench while I watch my best friends play the sport we all love equally? Then I have to walk around all day pretending I don’t feel this way because I am too busy stopping Kageyama and Hinata from pummelling eachother, telling Tsukishima to stop being so mean, mitigating Yamaguchi and Ashai’s panic attacks, Forbidding Tanaka and Noya’s anger issues and the reward I get for all it isn’t the luxury of playing like Daichi who does similar work. I get no reward. I pretend to be happy the Sugawara that I used to be. I’m not happy. The only time I take off that mask off is when I get home and by that time I’m so exhausted from keeping up the facade that staying in the dark until I have to go to school again and put the mask back on is the only way I can cope. So YES I’m fucking sad, Y/N. Sad is an understatement.”

you stayed silent as you listened to every emotionally charged word, letting him catch his breath

Your heart had been shattered around the 4 second mark of his speech, hearing the mental turmoil your baby had been going through in his voice

He was going through all of that pain...

And in spite of it he would still call you every night and listen to you talk about how annoyed you are at your little sister for stealing your shirt

He didn’t change for you because he didn’t want to stress you out and that made you feel like a failure as a girlfriend

After a few minutes of Sugawara calming down, you opened your arms for him invitingly

“Come here.”

Suga looked at you, obviously fighting back tears. Not being able to bare going through it alone anymore, he mounted the bed again, hugging you then maneuvering your bodies so that he was spooning you.

“I saw you flinch. I’m so sorry for scaring you.” He whispered as he kissed the back of your hair. “I love you. So so much, Y/N.”

You reached back to run a hand soothingly against the side of his face. You felt wet tears there and you repeated the soothing gesture. “I love you more, Shishi.....” You backed up so you were pressed closer to his warm body, reinforcing the fact that you weren’t going anywhere. “And Shishi when you’re ready... I can’t wait to tell you all the reasons why you’re the team’s and my....MVP, alright?”

Sugawara nodded into your hair before tightening his grasp on you.

———————————

A/N: This is probably the post I’ve written that is the most realistic in terms of cannon character sentiment. As an ex competitive volleyball player I believe this is truly how Suga feels :( at least youre there to cheer him up!!

#haikyuu boys #haikyuu!!#hq sugawara #hq headcanons #haikyuu headcannons #sugawara koshi #sugawara x reader #haikyuu fluff #fluff #haikyuu stories #haikyuu scenarios #haikyu requests #sugawara x you #sugawara headcanon #sugawara x y/n #haikyuu sfw

297 notes · View notes

twinklecheeks · 4 years

Text

Friends With Benefits (Jeff Wittek Imagine) Part 11

Summary: Jeff and Y/N have been hooking up for a while. The whole vlog squad assumes they’re dating and Y/N does too but Jeff doesn’t like labels. He eventually starts to express interest in Natalie.

Note: Planning on making this a multiple part series, depending on how good it does. You’re 21 & Latina in this (maybe) series. Also, I’d like to apologize for the typos, if there is any. I’m just illiterate lmao.

Side note: Sorry it took me over a week to post this! I just started my last semester of college and I also have a part time job, so I’ve been super tired. I’ll try to be more consistent.

Warnings! Pregnancy, Smut

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 , Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10,

Word Count: 2k

Christmas Eve 12/24/2019

Y/n: *Wakes up and stares at Jeff peacefully sleeping*

Jeff: *moans*

Y/n: *looks down and notices Jeff has a boner* Hmmm *gently rubs the swollen tip of Jeff’s cock*

Jeff: *thrusts into y/n’s hand*

Y/n: *Smirks and quietly gets out of bed to lock the door* *Pulls Jeff’s boxer’s down and sees his cock slap against his abs* *Softly licks the base of his Jeff’s cock all the way to the tip and sucks the head*

Jeff: *moans* mmm fuck.

Y/n: *You use the entirety of your palms and fingers with just how big and long he is. You hum greedily as you do this*

Jeff: *wakes up and smirks* I guess it’s a very Merry Christmas to me.

Y/n: I can suck on your cock all day daddy *winks*

Jeff: *groaning at how fast you’re going* F-fuck baby the way you’re moaning. You’re gonna kill me *bucks his hips*

Y/n: Shhh, I don't want them to know I’m sucking your cock ;) *continues to deepthroat feeling him twitch*

Jeff: Oh my fucking god baby yesss. Fuck me, fuck me, over and over. I swear I’d be fucking you every nigh- JESUS FUCK *cums inside her mouth*

Y/n: *swallows and sucks his cock clean* That was a great way to start Christmas.

Jeff: *laughs* Me cumming in you?

Y/n: *smirks* Mhmmm, I love it when you’re in me ;)

Jeff: What time is it?

Y/n: It’s 7:42am. I think your mom is already up cooking.

Jeff: Well if you want to see the Christmas parade at 11 w/ Jonah’s family, round 2 in the shower has to be a quickie.

Y/n: *looks down at his cock* You’re still hard? You just came a bunch in my mouth.

Jeff: I’m always hard for you babe *winks*

*After the Christmas Parade*

Suzie: I loved the parade! New York is so pretty during Christmas.

Vardon: Christmas is also more fun w/ snow.

Jonah: Guys it was fucking freezing outside.

Y/n: It was only 38 degrees.

Jeff’s mom: Oh good you guys are back. Marie (Jonah’s mom) and I are almost done with the food.

Jeff: Ma you’ve been cooking since like 6am. Have you had a break?

Jeff’s mom: We also did some last minute shopping/ gift wrapping. Everybody gets to open one present today and the rest tomorrow.

Y/n: You guys open presents tomorrow?

Jeff’s dad: Yeah, doesn’t everybody?

Y/n: Well in the Hispanic/ Latinx community, we call today Hispanic Christmas. So we open our presents today and then we spend the 25th stuffing our faces in left overs. We open on the 24th cause we’re too impatient and yes, we know Jesus was born on the 25th.

Jeff: Maybe we can do that w/ the girls next year.

Jeff’s mom: *tears up* Oh god you’re going to have daughter’s next year.

Jeff: Maaaa don’t cry again.

Y/n: Oh we are definitely doing hispanic christmas. If my sister comes over, she’d want to open the presents like a week before. She’s the most impatient. One year, she opened presents at like 3-4pm.

Jeff’s mom: I’m such a cry baby. Now help me set up the table!

*everybody helps set the plates and food*

Jeff’s dad: does anybody want to start the prayer?

Jeff: I’ll do it.

Karyn: Really? The last time you did it was Easter 2005 and you couldn’t stop laughing.

Jeff’s mom: Karyn.

*everybody holds hands*

Jeff: oh Heavenly Father, thank you for all that you’ve brought us. I know that Christmas is about you but I’d like to say thanks. Thank you for keeping everybody here in good health because I don’t know where I’d be w/ out them. I’m grateful for the supportive family and friends you have given me and most importantly, y/n. I know we were very rocky until recently but you brought her into my life for a reason. She was changing me into a better person and I was too stubborn to accept it. Now she’s going to be the mother of my 2 amazing daughters. Those babies already have me wrapped around their fingers and they’re not even here yet. I can’t wait for the day y/n and I get married and have however many babies you give us but don’t make it twins each time cause that’s gonna make my hair gray fast

Jeff’s mom: Jeffrey-

Jeff: okay I’m just kidding… kind of but you know what I mean. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me and the rest of my family. Amen.

Everybody: Amen

Jeff’s dad: Hun are you crying?

Y/n: *sniffles her nose* NO. Maybe…. I wouldn't have thought Jeff was religious.

Karyn: Only during Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter.

Jeff’s Dad: Karyn stop teasing your brother. Now that the prayer is over with, let’s eat!

Jeff’s mom: Marie and I spent all morning cooking. Also, since this is y/n’s first Christmas w/ us, I wanted to bring some of the food she eats during the holidays.

Y/n: What food?

Jeff’s mom: *shows the Pernil* (pernil is pork shoulder)

Y/n: NO YOU DIDN’T *tastes the food* AND IT TASTES JUST LIKE OUT MY DAD MAKES IT. How did you make it?!

Jeff: She asked me a couple of days ago what you eat during the holidays and I found your sister on instagram. I got the recipe from her.

Jeff’s mom: I saw that it was a Puerto Rican dish so I asked one of my friends who knows how to make it to show me the steps.

Y/n: Oooo imma try not to cry again but THANK YOU SO MUCH.

Jonah: Can we eat now

After Dinner

Y/n: I ate so much, I think I’m having triplets. But thank you once again. I was pretty nervous to come here because I didn’t know how y’all would react to me.

Karyn: Just know that when we get mad, it’s at Jeff cause he’s always the one that somehow messes up.

Jeff: What time is it?

Suzie: It’s 7pm. Should we watch Christmas movies and then open presents before bed?

Vardon: Let’s watch the Grinch

Jonah: *ignores Vardon* Any other suggestions? Please. ANY OTHER.

Karyn: Y/n what do you watch for Christmas.

Y/n: Well, my personal favorite is Jingle all the Way but the Christmas Line up in my family is usually Home Alone 2, A Diva’s Christmas Carol, A Very Brady Christmas, the I Love Lucy Christmas episode and other’s I can’t remember.

Jeff: I mean, we are in New York. Home Alone 2?

Everybody: Sure.

*After watching Christmas movies*

Jeff’s mom: It’s 9:45pm. I think we should be opening our one present before we go to bed.

Jeff: Youngest to oldest! So my niece goes first, then Vardon, Y/n, Suzie, Jonah, etc.

*Jeff’s nieces and Vardon opens their gifts*

Vardon: No way. Jeff got me airpods! Thank you *Hugs Jeff*

Jeff: You’re welcome. Now time for y/n to open her gift from me.

Y/n: Oooo okay. *opens gift and sees two little gold bracelets* what are these for?

Jeff: I always see babies w/ the small little charm bracelet. You mentioned your sister and you never got that from your parents but your older brother did. I wanted to do that for our girls even though they're not here yet. So once we pick out the names, we’ll get the charms.

Y/n: *sniffles* Dammit why do you keep making me cry.

Jeff: Cause I don’t want you to ever forget how much I love you.

Jonah: Can we move on from this sappy shit so I can open my gift.

Everybody: JONAH.

*After everybody opens their presents*

Y/n: Thank you so much for accepting me on such short notice.

Jeff’s mom: Hun we’re family now. You’ll always be a part of us. Same for the Antonyans. We know how much Jeff misses having us around since he’s been living in LA and y’all have been a family to him.

Jonah’s mom: I love Jeff like he my own son. He help us so much.

Jeff’s Dad: Y’all just have to make sure to visit us often. Get’s kind of lonely here w/ Karyn living in Kentucky, Jeff living in LA. I mean Steven lives in the city w/ his kids but we miss having all of you together here.

Jeff: I’m starting to think that having girls runs in the family. Karyn has a daughter, Steven has twin girls and now I’m gonna have twin girls.

Jeff’s mom: I mean you never know if the nurse made a mistake. They thought your brother was a girl for half my pregnancy. Then they did the last ultrasound a week before I gave birth to him and they said he was a boy.

Y/n: Oh god I don’t even want to think about that. I’m already stressed out about the babies possibly being deaf now I gotta be worried if the nurse misgendered them….

Karyn: The babies are gonna be deaf?

Y/n: Hmm?

Jeff’s dad: You just said there’s a possibility the twins will be born deaf.

Y/n: Fuck. I did say that, didn't I… Jeff, you wanna help me out here?

Jeff: Ummm. Damn we weren’t planning on telling anybody this for a couple of weeks. We got a call a couple of days ago after we did some genetic testing and the doctor said the babies have a high chance of being born hard of hearing/ deaf.

Karyn: My doctors told me the same thing. Luckily my daughter turned out fine

Steven: I wasn’t a carrier for the gene…

Jeff’s mom: We’ll love those babies no matter what. If we have to learn sign language for them, then we’d do it. I’ll fly out to LA once it gets close to the due date to help out.

Jeff: Thanks ma. Means a lot.

Y/n: Thank you so much. I don’t know if my own parents would forgive me by then to be there for the birth.

Jeff’s mom: Anytime sweetheart. My god look at the time, It’s 10:15, we have to go to bed before Santa comes.

Jonah: Haha, but santa isn-

Jeff: Jonah you better better not finish that sentence cause my nieces are here and I don’t wanna see the magic ruined for them.

Jonah: What I was saying was, isn't Santa a little late?… He should’ve been here by now…

Going to bed

Y/n: I am so stuffed. Christmas turned out a lot better than I thought.

Jeff: See, you had nothing to be afraid about. Also, good job on keeping the deaf thing a secret haha.

Y/n: Hey! It’s been on my mind since we found out. WAIT. Jonah and Suzie.

Jeff: What about them?

Y/n: they were there…. What if they tell everybody else.

Jeff: Suzie would never… Jonah on the other hand… I have little faith in him.

Y/n: I’m afraid to check my phone.

Jeff: Same. I haven't looked at it all day. On the count of 3…

Y/n: One….

Jeff: Two.

Y/n & Jeff: Three. *looks at phones*

Y/n’s phone: 82 text messages & 24 missed calls

Jeff’s phone: 77 text messages & 21 missed calls

Vlog Squad GC

David: Was what Jonah said true?

Natalie: Is it serious?

Jason: Y’all I’m so sorry

Zane: There has to be a way to fix it. My babies will be okay right?

Erin: I’ll postpone my wedding until the babies are okay

Carly: Oh no Carly and Erin jr :(

Corinna: The babies are gonna be deaf?

Mariah: Is it confirmed?

Heath: Have y’all seen other doctors?

Matt: Guys they’re busy. I don’t think we should be spamming them on Christmas.

Toddy: We’ll stop one they answer us!

David: I’ll put in whatever money you need for surgeries or anything.

Jason: Guys stop. They’ll tell us everything once they’re ready.

(end of conversation)

Jeff: I’m gonna kill Jonah.

Y/n: Oh hun, so will I…

The next chapter might take a bit because I’m still thinking what will be in it. You guys can give be suggestions and I can give you credit for it!

Comment if you want to be on the taglist!

Taglist: @elvlogsquad @siemprestan @zavidzobrik @galxydefender @iminlovewithenchilidadas @ilsolee @ranprivate @one-sweet-gubler @sunwardsss @shamalamashams @michellemxndes

127 notes · View notes

scullysexual · 4 years

Text

My Teacher Is Diana Fowley

Someone on ao3 asked for Diana Fowley to be Emily’s school teacher so here we are.

- - -

The afternoon had turned into a disaster. Arthur wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t sleep. The only thing he wanted to do was wail.

Scully was trying everything to calm him down; rocking him, bouncing him, putting him down, picking him up. Nothing seemed to work.

Arthur had proven to be a lot more difficult than Emily. She was a perfect little baby in comparison.

Between trying to study and tend to her son’s needs, the clock at ticked and time, regrettably, became less of a priority.

Arthur had just settled in the downstairs crib because he refused to settle elsewhere. Scully had finally gotten him to eat, finally gotten him to sleep when the phone rang and the wails began all over again.

A trail of profanities slipping from her mouth, she leaves Arthur- telling him she’ll be right back and heads for the phone.

“Hello,” she answers trying to keep her voice as calm and neutral as possible. Really wants to find out who just disturbed her baby.

“Hi,” says a woman who Scully guesses is not older than herself. “It’s just Emily’s school calling. We were wondering what time somebody was going to pick her up. She’s been sat on the bench…”

Fuck.

The receptionist’s words trail off as Scully looks towards the clock. 3:52. She was supposed to pick Emily up.

“Mrs Mulder. Are you there?” The woman’s voice calls her back.

“Yes, sorry. Um…her father will pick her up.”

“Thank you. We’ll let Emily know.”

They say they’re goodbyes and Scully puts down the phone. She’s forgotten how many times she’s got distracted and forgot to pick Emily up from school.

It used to be Mulder’s job. A morning person naturally, Mulder usually requested the morning shift at work but after an incident happened, his bar duties were taken away and his hours changed to afternoon or night shifts leaving Scully to feel like she had to do everything on her own until dinner time.

“Mamaaaaaaa!” the one-year-old screams and Scully sighs. Picking up the phone and dialling Mulder’s workplace.

As it rings, Scully calls back to Arthur.

“I’ll be back in a minute, baby.”

But Arthur doesn’t understand.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

He places the glass, now dry, onto the rack. They have him in the back, washing and drying dishes on a smaller pay check, all because he stopped some man from assaulting some poor woman.

He’s still surprised he was punished for that. Guess the safety of their costumers isn’t a priority here.

He picks up another glass, gives it a half-assed dry, and puts down on the rack with the others.

“Oi, Mulder!”

Mulder looks towards the back door that leads to the staff’s lunchroom. John stands in the doorway, a phone receiver in his hand, holding it towards Mulder.

“It’s your missus.”

Mulder frowns, tossing the towel down and walking towards the phone. It wasn’t like Scully to ring him in the middle of the day.

“Scully, what’s up?” he asks once the receiver is to his ear.

I need you to pick up Emily from school, her voice on the other end tells him.

It was almost 4pm. Emily should’ve been picked up 25 minutes ago. What has Scully been doing?

“I can’t,” he tells her. “I’m at work.” She knows that, of course, she rang here.

I know but Arthur’s been a nightmare all afternoon and I hadn’t looked at the clock and the school rang me and I’ve only just got him settled downstairs, and I need to study for the tests on Friday…

She was getting flustered. His new hours were taking a toll on both of them.

“Scully, it’s okay,” Mulder says, attempting to calm her down. “Is your mother around?”

She’s out of town visiting Bill Jr.

His own parents had moved out of state, Samantha was god knows where. It was really down to them now.

Mulder sighs. If Scully had been having issues with Arthur all day- which he doesn’t doubt she has- and she’s just got him settled, moving him would just start it all up again and he was ten minutes away versus her thirty minutes.

“Okay,” he says. “I’ll see if I can go on break early.”

Thank you, Scully says. Then adds. I’m sorry.

“Hey, don’t be. You’re doing better than most.”

Frankie isn’t happy that Mulder needs to go. He’s huffing and puffing even after Mulder tells him that it’s his daughter.

“You’ve got thirty minutes,” Frankie says, effectively telling Mulder to piss off. “I don’t want to hear your excuses.”

They’re not excuses, Mulder grumpily thinks as he grabs his jacket and leaves. She’s my kid.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

She’s organising the exercise books into alphabetical order. Something to do while she waits rather than a need to.

“Does this happen often, Emily?” her teacher asks. She was new, only having taken on her class last Monday while her original teacher went off to have a baby. So far Emily liked her. Most kids have to sit in reception until their parents come and get them but Miss Fowley had saw her and took her back to the classroom.

Emily shakes her head. “Not really.”

Her mom was usually good at managing time, being ready at the gate for her, usually accompanied by a crying Arthur.

“Well, it happened a bit when I was in second grade,” Emily tells her, placing the last book on the shelf. “But only because they were in college then and sometimes they would be learning when school finished.”

Tuesday was the day, Emily remembers. That would be the day where she knew she had to sit in reception while a free family member came and picked her up. Usually it was Grandma or Nana Teena but sometimes it would be Sam though she never looked happy about it.

Emily would sit hearing the staff talk. Feeling small and clutching onto her bookbag while she would hear them say things like ‘This is why teenagers shouldn’t have kids’ and they were ‘irresponsible’.

She never thought about her parents age until last year when her best friend Callum had asked her how old her mom was and Emily said she was twenty-three. Her teacher said she wasn’t allowed to talk about her mother’s age after that.

“Don’t you feel forgotten, sometimes?” Miss Fowley asks.

It’s just a question, Emily tells herself and she shakes her head.

“I have a little brother. He’s only one and he’s a hand-full.”

Miss Fowley seems surprised at that.

“Wow. You are a big sister.”

Emily smiles awkwardly. After the incident last year, Emily made it a goal to not talk about her family- her parents ages or the gap between her and her brother.

“Well,” says Miss Fowley. “You’re dad will be here soon.”

Emily smiles in response, starting to feel forgotten after all.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

He knocks on the classroom door of room 4E. Through the little rectangular window he can see Emily talking to, what he assumes, must be her teacher. The teacher turns around and Mulder feels his stomach drop.

Jesus fucking Christ, no.

Diana Fowley. Diana fucking Fowley walks towards the door. Diana fucking Fowley is his daughter’s teacher.

How the fuck did that happen?

Does she know? Surely she must know. Emily has their surname, she’s probably seen Emily’s file, saw FOX MULDER and DANA SCULLY listed under ‘father’ and ‘mother’. Of course she knows.

The door swings open and Mulder keeps his eyes averted.

“Hi,” Diana says, her voice warm and friendly. Oh she knows.

“I’m here to pick up Emily,” Mulder says choosing to focus behind Diana and at his daughter. Emily is picking up her backpack from the floor.

“You ready?” he asks Emily wanting nothing more to leave and not have an awkward conversation with Diana.

“I’ve been ready since 3:35,” Emily answers coolly.

Mulder smiles guiltily in response.

“Emily was telling me about her little brother,” Diana says looking and smiling at Emily. Mulder looks at Diana then but that had been a mistake as her eyes move so they’re both looking at each other at the same time. No looking away now.

“I didn’t know you had another kid, Fox.”

Emily eyebrow shoots right up at the mention of Mulder’s first name. Mulder’s eyes flick towards his daughter and Jesus Christ kid, don’t choose this moment now to look like Scully.

“Er, yeah…” Mulder says his eyes darting back to Diana. “Um…he’s called Arthur. He’s one.” Mulder swallows. He should leave. He only has 30 minutes before he loses his job. He really has to go and surely Diana has a home to go to as well.

“Emily mentioned. Well, I’m Miss Fowley,” Diana says as if Mulder didn’t know that. Oh, he knew that. “I’m Emily’s new teacher.” She holds her hand out.

Mulder doesn’t bother to ask what’s meant by ‘new teacher’ he can ask Emily about it in the car while he also asks her why she didn’t think to give him a heads up before this.

Mulder takes her hand, shaking it in a pitiful handshake.

“Well, it was nice to meet you,” he says ignoring the way Diana looks at him. “I’ve wasted your time already, we should really go.” He drops Diana’s hand, taking Emily’s and heads down the corridor. Diana shouts something like See you tomorrow, Emily! but Mulder ignores it.

Once in the car does he feel like he can breathe. Diana Fowley. Why is she here? She said he was moving to Washington DC. Why is she here?

And why is she Emily’s teacher?

“Do you know Miss Fowley?”

Mulder turns to Emily who has spent the last five minutes staring at him.

“What?”

“She called you Fox,” Emily says. “Mom doesn’t even called you that.”

Mulder puts the car in ignition.

“Yeah, I know her. We went to school together.”

Emily hums and Mulder knows she has more question.

“Go ahead, Em,” he says preparing himself for Twenty-Questions. “Ask.”

“It doesn’t seem like you like her.”

“It’s complicated.”

“How?”

Mulder sighs.

“You said I could ask,” Emily says.

Yes, he did. And Emily deserves answers.

“You ever see kids be picked on in school, Em?”

He looks over to her, sees her nod her head.

“Well, sometimes that can carry on past Elementary school. Sometimes those kids don’t grow up, sometimes they still be those same people they were then.”

“Did she pick on you?”

No, Diana didn’t. He was too busy getting his ass beaten by the boys to also become a victim of the girl’s too.

“No. She picked on your Mom, though.”

Emily looks surprised at that. “Really?” she asks.

Mulder nods.

“Why?”

“Well, she was smarter than them. They didn’t like that. It showed them up.”

“Them?”

Mulder smiles. “Bullies come in packs, Emi,” he says. “Three, four against one.”

A Bully is never on their own.

“I never noticed that,” Emily says. “But she’s a teacher now. Doesn’t that mean she has grew up?”

“Probably,” Mulder says. “But these things stay with you. They effect you even when you’re older, too.”

And hopefully you never have to experience that.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.

She at the door with hugs and a string of I’m sorry’s falling out of her mouth.

“It’s okay,” says Emily moving out of Scully’s embrace to put her bag down. “Dad told me about Arthur and about your test.”

The test she’s about to flunk because her drain doesn’t want to retain information anymore.

“I have a new teacher,” Emily tells her.

“Really, who is she?” Scully asks as she starts clearing the textbooks from the coffee table.

“Diana Fowley.”

That was not a name Scully was expecting to hear.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.

“Why is Diana Fowley teaching our daughter?”

Mulder just wanted a sip of orange juice. The bottle almost to his mouth before Scully appears in the doorway.

“And you better use a glass for that, too.”

Mulder groans. It’s his orange juice. He doesn’t remember agreeing to sharing it with the kids. But he goes into the cupboard and grabs a glass anyway.

“I wondered the same thing,” Mulder answers, pouring the drink into the glass.

“Have you seen her?”

Mulder nods. “Seen her, spoke to her-“

“Why did you speak to her?”

Mulder looks at her. “Because Emily was waiting in the classroom.”

“She normally waits in reception.”

He puts the juice back into the fridge. “Yeah well, Diana sees herself as Emily’s saviour.”

Scully tenses. “Why?”

“Emily told me that Diana asked her if she felt forgotten when nobody picked her up on time.”

“What did Emily say?”

“That she understands why.”

It broke his heart a little to know somebody asked Emily that and Emily’s reply to. Emi tried so hard at being perfected, understanding situations meanwhile the kid can’t even rely on somebody to pick her up from school on time.

“I’m gonna quit the bar job,” Mulder says.

There’s panic in Scully’s eyes. “What? No, you can’t.”

“They keep fucking me over there.”

“It’s our only income.”

“I’ll find another job. One where the hours are better and I can pick Emily up from school on time.”

“Your hours were fine before you decided to be a hero.”

Apparently everyone’s under the impression he should have let that girl be assaulted.

“What if that girl was Emily?” he asks and watches as Scully falters. “Would you think I was being a hero then?”

No answer.

“That place stinks anyway,” he adds.

“Will they let you quit?”

They wanted to get rid of him from the start.

“Oh yeah,” Mulder says, certain.

Scully sighs. “Fine.”

Mulder cocks his head to the side knowing that the whole Diana Fowley thing was still eating Scully up.

“Hey,” he says grabbing her attention. “Don’t worry about Diana. Emily said she was only taking over while her original teacher is on maternity leave. I think this is just a placement.”

Mulder hoped it was just a placement. He didn’t look forward to teacher-parent conferences anyway before that teacher became Diana Fowley.

- - -

I’m always happy to accept prompts in this universe. If you have any just send them to me. @mypanicface

#abif prompt #emily au #my teacher is diana fowley #i write

25 notes · View notes

theivfdiaries · 3 years

Text

1dpt

I’m much less fixated on the transfer this time around, so much so to the point that I almost didn’t even write a journal entry for today, but realized that in hindsight I would probably wish I would have, so I’m doing it now.

I slept super well last night, which is a huge feat for me because I normally have the most horrible insomnia. I slept great after my last transfer too. It’s obviously much too soon for it to be a pregnancy symptom, so I am not sure what it is. I wonder if it is the hormones catching up to me, the release of adrenaline at the end of the day, or maybe the valium? Hopefully it keeps up though, because I could really use the sleep.

I had a relatively normal day today, had lunch and watched some TV with my husband (we were watching Dash and Lily which was cute) and then he got offered the promotion he had applied to! The only issue is, it’s only going to result in him getting about $2,000 more next year than he would if he just stayed in his current role, and it’s a lot more work, and he loves his current role. So that’s a bit stressful because we aren’t sure what he should do... make the career-move, or just stay where he’s happy, because it’s almost insulting that they would offer him so little! We’re very conflicted, and apparently we only have 2 days to decide. What should have been a good thing has gotten very stressful.

Also, our washing machine broke last week, and our landlord told us to have someone come out to look at it, so we just used a local appliance repair place, who then told us it was totally broken and needs to be replaced. Then our landlord decides to check if there’s a warranty, finds out there is, so now someone from the manufacturer has to come tomorrow to literally just “look at it” again. It’s getting extremely frustrating not having a washing machine, and having to deal with all these repairmen coming in our house when I really don’t want people in my house while there’s a covid spike and I’m high risk due to IVF, and having to coordinate around it is madness. Initially they gave an 8am-4pm timeframe, which was ridiculous enough, but then they told my landlord it would be 8am-11am, and then later on she got an automated message saying 3pm-6pm. So basically we have a 10 hour timeframe, so my husband has to wake up an hour early (he normally gets up at 9 for work, but you can’t hear the doorbell from our bedroom), and I have to go get bloodwork done at 8:30am tomorrow so I’m going to have to go back to my mom’s afterwards to nap rather than just being able to be at my own home. And honestly there’s a good chance we could do all that for nothing because they may not even come until the evening! It’s just an extra layer of stress that’s so unnecessary right now, but I’m trying to just push past it and deal with it.

Anyway, aside from all the extraneous stress, I’ve been weirdly calm I guess, and I realized that the transfer isn’t consuming my every thought like it was last time, which I guess is a really good thing. It’s making the wait a little less torturous, but I’m still dying to know, and I still know I’ll be equally as devastated if it fails. I am so afraid of the transfer just flat out failing, and not even getting to the point where we got last time. I really feel like my new doctor pinpointed the reasons I miscarried last time and I really feel like we can solve them this time and be ok, but what if we don’t even get the chance? What if he just doesn’t stick this time?

My husband still doesn’t want me to take a pregnancy test at all, but I’m going to anyway. I was planning to on Saturday but I’m already wondering “hm maybe I should just try on Friday...” We’ll see. I haven’t decided when or if I’ll tell him yet. I want to respect his desire to wait, but also I just can’t. I need to know.

I did acupuncture today with someone I hadn’t been to before, since my regular lady at my clinic wasn’t working today. He was really great, and honestly I wish I had been going to him the whole time. He explained a lot of things about the process, the certain points, and put some extra needles in to help with my insomnia in addition to helping with implantation. He said he really thinks he can help with my insomnia too if I keep coming, which I’d really like to do, but I’m a bit nervous to go anywhere with covid rising. It’s a nice option though, so I’ll think about it.

Anyway, symptoms today so far have just been some occasional period-like cramping which has been making me panic. Honestly I think I just associate cramping with miscarrying at this point, it’s weirdly become a trigger for me. But I know it’s normal to cramp the day after transfer. It’s probably just residual pain from the catheter and if not, then it’s probably a good thing if anything. Just trying to relax and make it to Saturday (or Friday, if I break sooner)...

#ivf #ivf journey #ivf warrior #infertility #infertility warrior #infertility journey #fertility #ttc #ttc community #ttc baby

2 notes · View notes

lockdownuk · 4 years

Text

Lockdown Diary Part 8

A personal account during the lockdown in the UK due to the Covid-19 outbreak.

23/03/2020 8:30pm Boris Johnson, UK Prime Minister, gives a live address to the nation to, effectively, put the country on lockdown to stem the spread of the deadly coronavirus strain, Covid-19.

Many of us have been self-isolating for days but this latest development within the UK in reaction to the pandemic feels very serious and very scary. I decided to keep a simple diary and where better but online.

Day 211: I stayed up till 5am last night. The last thing I watched was Ronny Chieng, a Malaysian comic in the states. It was a Netflix comedy special and bloody funny. Other than that, a quiet night, nowhere near as fucked as Friday night. As I type, I am about to finish off spicy af sausage cassserole for tea and watch a film - all quite sedate. I’ve work tomorrow, after all!

Day 212: Every time I try and watch something on Amazon Prime, it errors or doesn’t load so I have to uninstall and reinstall, which is a pain the fucking arse. Glad I don’t pay for it. I watched half of the Tom Hanks film last night, A Beautiful Day in the Neighbourhood, based on a real life children’s TV actor. It’s good but weird. I’ll finish it tonight. Jo Broom called and told me (well, reminded me of, actually) some good info, especially about insulin lasting 4 hours and the liver producing sugar for when you wake up). Day 213: I didn’t watch the rest of that Tom Hanks film last night, doing so right now. I got a call @5.30pm from Tall Tom asking to pop round which he did (social-distancing at the front door). He dropped of a canvas print he’d ordered of on eof my pictures from FB. Fucking gobsmacked! That’s how much he likes them. I am still in shock. What a brilliant thing to do! Day 214: Finished A Beautiful Day in the Neighbourhood last night, I enjoyed it. Today has been standard. Half way through the third week back from furlough and, while I am still very glad to be working, I now also relish pasrt of being paid 80% for fuck all! My walks have been tentative today, I have done something to my right ankle, it feels sore but OK when walking at pace. My phone and Google Fit are playing up - I am suddenly walking 8km/h! Day 215: Phoned Dad - Rita sent an email a couple of days ago telling of a lump in his ear which he had removed and they are going to check for cancer. When I spoke with him it was usual dad - nothing to worry about. He spoke very highly of the staff at Stamford Hospital where he had it done. They took skin from his nesxk to put on his ear lobe where they performed the op. I had pie and veg tonight. It’s a real change and I am stuffed as I type this. SB pee-ed me off at work big time late this afternoon. Diary updated! Day 216: Dan’s in court today for his drink driving escapade. I think he’s pleading not guilty - I’m not sure, neither has he been each time I have talked to him about it. It was scheduled at 4pm and he’s meant to let me know how it went. As I type, it’s just gone 9pm. Fuck knows what’s happening. I guess he’ll let me know in his own time. Meanwhile, work was OK, nothing hectic, I am on my first Friday beer, just about to eat meatballs and pasta and watch Taxi, a film written by Luc Besson. End of my 3rd week back and it’s a bit like I wasn’t furloughed for 6 months!

Day 217: I switched off that Taxi film after 30 minutes. It was bollocks. Dan got a 20 month ban (reduced to 15, if he does a course, which he says he will) and £1100 fine. At least it’s over and done with now. I got up at gone 2pm today. I have to cut this late sleeping habit out at the weekends. That being said, it’s 8.40pm, just about to dive in the shower, eat and then get on it. Clocks go back later so I’ve an extra hour to play with!

Day 218: Still managed to stay up stupidly late last night, up at before 1pm (but in real terms, that’s just before 2pm!) Had a video chat with Fog - I was meant to go up to his yesterday to listen to the footy but, ‘cos I was up so late, I didn’t. Anyway, during our chat, we’ve decidied to go to Honolulu when it’s safe, specifically to go to McDs. It was a bizarre conversation - I can’t actually remember the details!

Day 219: The lady (I think it’s a lady) from the Oundle Chronicle emailed to say she didn’t think William (the student) has contacted me (he has but is fucking useless), so she’s found some questions for me to answer and wants me to pick my favourite 4 (hi-res) photos. I’ve written a couple of paragraphs that answer her questions and I was to pick photos that have had the most likes on FB - finding that info out, without trawling back over my posts, is easier said than done! Got the car tyres sorted today - an advisory from the MOT that Julian did last week.. I do like Oundle Tyre and Exhaust centre. Work was fine. Marke had to deal with Eileen Baxter and chatted to me about it. I had it all the week before last. She’s delightful but the least IT savvy person I have ever known in a workplace whereby a computer is integral to the role!

Day 220: I’ve been doing press-ups and toe tocuhes after each exercise for a little while now. 7 press-ups, doesn’t sound much but when I did it before and rapidly increased the numbers (up to 22), it played havoc with my shoulder which I thought was becoming frozen. So, I will icrease the amount slowly. I can just about touch my toes now. When I started, I barely got past my fucking knees! Work was standard today and I had an interesting chat with a recruiter about a job at Jagex, a computer game firm responsible for Runescape which is, apparently, a big deal. Posh playing tonight. At one point, when leading at home to Burton we were top. Now it’s 2-2 with minutes to go and we’re third with fucking Lincoln top. Day 221: I sent an email to Shirley from HR (re) asking about the salary discrepancy between mine and Mark’s. She’s going to talk to me tomorrow about it. I had a lomng chat with Barrzy tonight, always good to catch up and reminisce. I’ve just had two sausage rolls (on the cheap shelf from Co-Op, Dauphinoise dotatoes (ditto), mixed green veg and onion gravy for tea and I am fucking stuffed.

Day 222: Typing at gone 4pm on day 223! Had a meet with Shirley. No dice on the pay until it can be reviewed next year. All pay reviews are on hold. She explained that the salary offer was based on available budget rather than a pay grade or bench mark. Day 223: Typing this very late on day 224. Usual Friday. Work, beers, bed at 5am. went up Fog’s for a couple and watched Train to Busan. Day 224: I swore blind, when I woke and got up (2.24pm) I would have a day off from exercise. Stair climb and 10km walk done! Leigh from Oundle Chronicle messaged chasing my answers for the article. Last night, someone posted such great pics on the Oundle Chatter group that it makes me think twice about posting my photos. I tell everyone I just point and snap with my phone camera and, while it is the phone camera, I do so much pissing about with Google photos I feel like a con, it doesn’t sit well with me. Made lasagne for tea. Fucking lush - lardons, scothc bonnet and an Oxo cube really helped, I think. It’s 11:44pm as I type, 15 mins and I’ll deliver K’s birthday card. Not sure what I am hoping to come out of that, really. Just can’t let go! Day 225: Stupidly late one again last night. Up at 2pm. I’ve responded to Leigh at the Oundle Chronicle - why I make it so hard, I do not know, I really overthink some things. Eye appointment tomorrow, 9.50am, which Sam, Mr. Minos’s secretary offered me when she called on friday. Sueanne was very cool about it when I checked it was OK. So, now I am fretful of what will happen! More lasering, I reckon.

Day 226: Eye clinic was not great. I need lasering in my right eye, so that will be both eyes. Mr. Hussain, the consultant that ive seen loads including today, explained that the field of vision is affected that it can mean I am not allowed to drive. In one eye it doesn’t matter, in both the DVLA will order a test and, if the field isn’t wide enough, means I won’t get a license to drive. Shit! K WhatsApp to thank me for the card plus some ‘chat’ which ended uninvitingly (i.e., end of conversation!). I just replied that I was glad she liked it (the card),

Something is up with my left thumb, it’s sore by the nail, as if it’s ingrowing, but it isn’t. Fuck knows what it is and it’s really bothering me, very painful. Pretty shit day, all in all. Day 227: Called the surgery about my thumb and Dr. leijsen called me back, asked some questions about the photo (I had to take a pic and send it in), including whether there’s any pus, and then said she’ll prescribed anti-biotics. Later today, it started to leak pus, and feel better! But, it’s still not right so I’‘l take the course. Looks like I have got an interview for the IT support job at Jagex, got a call from the recruiter today, just need confirmation. Spoke with Shirley from HR about the fact I might not be able to drive in the future. She was pretty cool about it in a kind of cross-that-bridge way and suggested I run it past Sueanne.

Day 228: Spoke with Sueanne about my impending eye lasering which is on Friday ay 3.30pm, the hospital called to let me know, she was very cool about it and even suggested I take Monday off! More importantly, she spoke of the non-driving as no factor to worry about job wise, especially as we are all WfH nowadays. I have an interview at Jagex, well, Zoom, but it is on Friday, 1pm.

Day 229: Told Mark at work about the lasering adn potential non-driving. I think it shocked him a little. I am worried about tomorrow, big time, although it’s just lasering - I’ve had it done before. I cannot wait for this time tomorrow (9.40pm). I have been trying to concentrate on preparing for the interview but it’s all too easy to get distracted. Day 230: Interview went OK. Eye appointment was horrible but bearable. The doc wants me to book in for more laser but, only so it can be reviewed and ‘topped up’ if need be. Better than a going for a check up and having to book another laser appointment thereafter. It’s near enough 9.00pm and I am going to enjoy a bear or two.

Day 231: No after affects to speak of from the eye appointment but I know lasering has occurred. It’s like I haven’t got the full set of cells recieve information from yje pupil. It’s intangible but still perceptible. Great walk today, took some cracking photos - very pleasing. More booze and draw tonight and, hopefully, up tomorrow before the 2.20pm wake up time of today. Posh beat Oxford away (1-2) in the FA Cup 1st round.

Day 232: 2pm by the time I got out of bed. I’ve got to curb this habit. Missed calls from Dad but answered one from Rita just before going for a walk when I promised to phone tomorrow. Day 233: I think SB wa surprised was at work today. I ordered two rugs (from irugs.co.uk). They are 8x5″ and were 75% off, £58 ea. One for under the table (desk) and I put one in the spare room. Hopefully keep the house a tad warmer. Getting into Barry on Sky Comedy. Barry’s a hit man. It’s darkly intriguing. I took a couple of pics of a solitary poppy today, icuding a couple of macros. They turned out OK so will post one on Wednesday (11/11). Talking of photos, two people (one is Alison Brighty) asked for a jpeg of one of the photos I posted on Saturday so they can get it printed.

Day 234: Spoke with dad today, let him know the situation with my eyes which, I think worries him, so I hate to do it but, also, he needs to know, just in case.

Day 235: The poppy pic I posted was very well received, over 160 likes on the Oundle chatter page and Jo Langford wants the original (why she can’t take it of FB?) to print off, which is nice. I am working on Saturday - gotta attend a meeting at 8am. FFS! SB also agreed for me to back on call, cool!

Day 236: Average sort of day. I really wish I wasn’t working on Saturday! OH, Dan messaged...first I’ve heard from him for over two weeks...he’s got two days of so he can watch all the US Masters which started today, and was good watching. So, not that average a day afterall, now that I think back on it. Day 237: Woke up at 9.14am today, yikes! Messaged with Dan a lot as he is home watching the US Masters...told him abbout my eye issues and the fact there’s a chance of losing my driving license. Also, in a silly facebook post and comments, about me not being able to drink tonight ‘cos of work tomorrow, Scottish Ricky asked if I was OK. I replied, not really, meaning that I’m pissed off I can’t get pissed. He messaged to say if I ever need to chat. Fucking great bloke. I rang him to let him know I was not being serious on FB and we chatted for 30 mins or so. Top man. still, it does remian that I am missing a beer this Friday - roll on tomorrow night!

Day 238: Work thsi morning was OK, finished at midday. Watchung golf, having abeer or two right now (just gone 8pm). Posh lost away to Crewe 0-2. Day 239: Up at 2pm after a good few drinks last night (and some silly video posting on FB of me trying shit lager - Corrs Light - with hot sauce). Just settling down to watch Dustin Johnson win the Masters - he’s -20 with 2 to play, no one near him.

Day 240: I ordered some slippers from Amazon that arrived today. They were also returned today. I’m destined to never find a decent, non-expensive pair.

DJ did win the golf.

I watched Jojo Rabbit this evening. A first class film.

#diary #Tumblr diary #lockdown #COVID19 #lockdownuk

1 note · View note

star-villager · 4 years

Text

Ezra: Month 1 of Animal Crossing New Horizons!

Hello all! I’m here to tell my journey of the first month of New Horizons on Cillia Island!

There’ll be lots of pictures! I hope you enjoy! Future updates will probably be daily because this is... long at first... but I promise it slows down!

This post covers 32 days (skipping a few). It is indented to be a fun, long, read! I’ll say it’s a 10-15 minute read just to be on the longer side!

-Ezra; Island Resident Representative; Local Island Decorator; Mayor of Cillia (if it had a mayor hehe!)

Thursday, March 19th, 4pm -7GMT. The virus is present, but just starting. I have been home for not even 24 hours of my job that was supposed to keep me out of town all March. I make a phone call to a local Gamestop, asking if they’re still open, and how the midnight release of Animal Crossing is going to work. The worker tells me I can go pick it up right then, because they’re going to be closing early and had JUST gotten a phone call from corporate that they could give it out early - you can assume what I did /immediately/ after lol.

~~~

Starting was incredibly easy! I’ve had my dead name as my New Leaf Mayor forever, and I loved that city name so Ezra and Cillia it was! And we began! My starting villagers were Cherry and Roald with Cherry Trees (fitting!), and I said I wasn’t gonna restart no matter what... so here we go!

I picked a town that had a West Beach River Mouth as well as a South River Mouth - which matched my town in New Leaf! (The south exit, and the flow of the river - but the west exit would be where my original upper waterfall was so the shape was the same). Picked northern hemisphere (where I am). And placed my house right in a river bend (with the initial plan to section me off into my own island within an island!). Cherry and Roald’s homes were placed along the west-running river right at the top, with not much effort or forethought. Not that it was a bad thing! I knew they wouldn’t be permanent villagers, but wanted to give them some beautiful scenery while they were here.

I can definitely tell that I’m still acting and thinking like a mayor even thought I’m only an island rep. ... this doesn’t change bwahaha!

Day 1 March 19th, was all setup and prep for our REAL day 1! Blathers already was about to have a decent encyclopedia, and I was getting nook miles left and right - already expecting a house instead of a tent the next day. I wasn’t too surprised, I’ve done this song and dance before, and I’m just here to have a great time in my island paradise! Getting Blathers was definitely my highest priority!

Day 2 March 20th, was... difficult... giving 15 things to Blathers one at a time and finding 30 iron for the Nooklings was excruciating lol - but getting fossils and a pole vault to absolutely DECIMATE the weed ecosystem filled me with a glee that I’m sure you can understand. I managed to upgrade my house, get Blathers and Nooks Cranny all in one day *whew*. Now, time to have some fun!

I build my first QR code which was a cool outfit I called PRIDE Coat! It is a black coat with drawstrings and pockets on the front - a lil’ trans flag on the left arm, a bi flag on the right arm, and my (pretty decent!) attempt at a rainbow of paint (in the gay flag colors) falling down my back! And I made an Iwatobi Swim Club Beanie to match the one I wear every day!!

I then played with my Passport a bit to have my title be “Future Fish” which is Free! Eternal Summer (the second season’s) Ending Song!!!! Which I thought was SUPER cute and VERY me. (It’s my second fave anime. I plan on making a Reigisa outfit in the future!!).

Already by the end of Day 2 I had my hair customization options, the tool wheel, and the DIY that I needed to buy. Everything Nook was offering I managed to get my grubby little day 2 hands on! So you KNOW my hair went to pink pigtails IMMEDIATELY. And took /many/ photos. But since my outfits are all the same just imagine the ones you just saw but with pink instead of blonde!

With that it was time to get my 3 villagers that would accompany Cherry and Roald (This correlates to getting the iron for Nooklings!) I wanted to grab the first 3 villagers that I saw just to try some new friends this go around - as I had already planned on making my New Leaf family my permies! So my first three were Ketchup (nice!), Hornsby (Aww!!), and... GALA!?!?

Well how convenient! That was one permie immediately out of the way!! Welcome back, Gala!!! So excited to have you on the island!

Then I caught an Oarfish and saw *GASP* WISP!!!! To which, I immediately ran up to him and demanded he bring my girlfriend, Cece the Squirrel, to the island. He, instead, got spooked, had me collect his spirit, and offered me items. *sigh* Ok - can’t get Cece that way - so I decided to sleep!

How naive I was...

Day 3 March 21st, was both good and bad! I had access to Nooklings, but that was about it. Blathers was getting a crowded amount of critters outside his roped off building, but it would be all worth it, tomorrow. But!! I found my first spider island! Which I sold off to Nooklings and happily went to sleep!

Day 4 March 22nd, had SO MUCH to offer! Blathers, Daisy Mae, Harvy, WHEW. Pretty sure I had a visit from Gulliver either today or yesterday, too! Nothing could POSSIBLY ruin this day!!

Oh how wrong.

How so terribly wrong I was.

Animal Crossing New Horizons is an incredible game that lets you invite so many villagers to your island!

All of them. But 14.

14 Villagers from New Leaf are not available. The Sanrio Characters. And the Amiibo Characters.

No Felyne. No Ganon, Epona, Medli, or W. Link. No Viche or Inkwell. No Rilla, Chai, Morty, or Etoille.

No Toby.

No Chelsea.

...

No Cece.

...

To say that I was devastated would be an understatement. I was absolutely crushed. Not only were 3 of my permies out, but the one villager I couldn’t live without, wasn’t allowed in the game. She didn’t even get a poster.

So I did what any crushed lover would do, and made a memoir to her.

And it started raining. Poetic. (I was only cheered up slightly when I got to catch a Coelacanth!) I didn’t do this until much later (April 4th) but for the sake of not talking about her too much, I would open New Leaf and wrote her a goodbye love letter, which, honestly, makes me tear up whenever I read it.

And I went to sleep.

I have nothing for Day 5 other than scanning all my amiibo cards for the POSTERS which are UNDOUBTEDLY my FAVORITE new feature in the game!!

Day 6, March 24th, GALA MOVED IN! I was so excited, and it was definitely needed. My best friend also came over and we goofed off and we met each other’s villagers! Then I went to an island tour and got A PANSY HYBRID ISLAND!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I went crazy. Absolutely destroyed that ecosystem. I went full feral. MINE. ALL MINE!!!

And I caught my first Sturgeon!! Which was awesome because I only had the rare fish left in my March collection! Trying to get a Golden Trout, I made many many fish bait, and got the 200 clam achievement! Which was exciting because that unlocked “Mermaid” for titles!! I doubt I’ll change from Future Fish, but Mermaid would be a second pick!

For Day 7 I went to a good friend’s village and desperately tried to make Chiyuki Fujito’s blue dress from Runway de Waratte... it didn’t work... but I like the attempt! (Will send pics in messenger if you’re curious!).

Day 8, March 26th, was the day ISABELLE WAS HERE!!! Welcome to your island paradise, QUEEN. I definitely dressed for the part ;)

This, of course, opened up tunes and flag options! Flag was incredibly easy. It’s going to stay my picture of Cece until she’s added back into the game (which will probably be never, so...)

The tunes was much harder for me. But since I couldn’t think of anything else I made it “SO. NO. CHI. NO. SA. DA. ME.” from the first Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Opening (which is, ironically, what is playing as I type this... SO NO CHI NO SA DA ME <- was written in time with the music playing. Incredible.) It’s definitely not going to be that forever, but for now it makes me giggle!

Nothing for Day 9 except for a SICK tarantula island :) love those furry babes! I also built my campsite! Tomorrow was going to be big!! Who on Earth was going to move in!?

Day 10, March 28th, now, I have what I like to call “chaotic luck”. I’ll catch the bus, but my gosh did I almost miss it. I was absolutely positive I failed that test, and I did, but the question I messed up doesn’t count and I passed! Cece isn’t in the game but do you know who’s at my campsite??

OFFICE

HETEROCHROMIA

TSUNDERE

TRANS

CAT

EXTRAORDINAIRE

RAAAAAAAAAAAYMOND!!!!

Can you even imagine my face??? Can you IMAGINE the jaw drop?? I moved him next to me IMMEDIATELY.

Day 12, March 30th, I saw kicks for the first time!!! Love that funky newsie skunk!

Day 13, March 31st, I saw Flick for the first time!!! Went on a mad tarantula hunt and made BANK. Fun story, I thought both Flick and C.J. were girls, so when I learned Flick was a boy I was really upset because I thought a canon gay ship was now straight, but WHOOPS they’re BOTH boys! 😎 Nice.

I also saw Celeste for the first time!!! Gosh how I missed her!! I actually sat and got all 200 stars in one night, just because of how much I like wishing on falling stars!!!

Day 14, April 1st, The Nightmare Begins. Love him or Hate him, Zipper was here. I won’t go on about the eggs. Everyone talks about the eggs. They sucked, fishing was a nightmare, not a big fan. I would end up not getting all the sakura DIYs which was very upsetting (but I’ll just get them next year). In INCREDIBLE news I got a golden trout!!! Which was the last thing I needed in my March encyclopedia - and it was on to April hunting! Every night thing I could get, I did! So I decided to set up my last 4 houses, and focus on getting K.K. Slider finally to my island!

The first house sold naturally to Pecan! NICE! I love squirrels so much! She was very welcome!

Day 15, April 2nd, in the interest in getting new villagers, I went on a tour and there she was: MERENGUE! She’s, truthfully, not a favorite of mine. She’s SO cute, but not someone I wanted permanently. However, she’s my other best friend’s FAVORITE and she doesn’t have a switch. So, there was NO WAY I wasn’t taking Merengue onto my island. I haven’t sent my friend pics, yet, but I hope I can soon!! She’s gonna be so happy!

Today was the first day I met C.J. which... stunning. Absolutely jaw dropping. I’m SMITTEN with a TAKEN BEAVER. He calls me fashionista. Asks about my anglersona. Takes selfies of/with me. He’s truly the ideal. I’d invite him back any day!

Over the next 3 days, Freya and Bruce move in as my last 2 villagers giving us a grand starting total of: Cherry, Roald, Ketchup, Hornsby, Gala, Raymond, Pecan, Merengue, Freya, and Bruce! Not bad not bad!

Day 19, April 6th, THE BEST GIRL IS HEEERE. LABEL CAME TO MY TOWN FOR THE FIRST TIME. I might have cried, honestly. I cannot believe someone that incredible would want to come to my island. She asked for me to give her an official look. Are you kidding me? Easy breezy. For my perfect outfit she rewarded me a Label Hat. Oh? DESIGNER? I was awestruck. The design was IMPECCABLE. The flavor was IMMACULATE.

One of my villagers also happened to gift me a Pink SPRITE COSTUME??? I, honestly, have never been more in love with an outfit in my entire life??? A pink Peter Pan outfit??? LEGENDARY.

Day 20, April 7th, I don’t quite remember what day K.K. Slider visited the island when I hit my 3 star rating - so we’ll say it was today lol. That meant ISLAND EDITING, but I didn’t know what to do, yet, so I didn’t worry too much about it!

Label’s hat came in MORE COLORS in the store today. YOU BET I bought all of them. The talent. But this meant that I had a pink hat to match my pink sprite costume and you bet I was LIVING my best life. I had also finished the Anklyosaurus which is my FAVORITE dinosaur so I was LIVING it up.

Later, Ketchup would approach me and ask to move. I was happy for her to explore new lands and bid her farewell, and gave her a sweet goodbye. With that, it was hunting time, and I found the perfect villager that would set everything in motion.

Day 22, April 9th, Label VISITS AGAIN!!!!!! Unfortunately, she asked for a sporty look, which I couldn’t pull off perfectly :/ So no new item from her... but my OUTFIT WAS FIRE AND WE WERE MAD CUTE TOGETHER.

Day 23, April 10th, the villager has moved in, the cryptid gyroid herself, COCO!!!

And her moving in gave me a BRILLIANT idea. I’d like to keep it under wraps for now, but I’m so, so, SO happy she’s here!

Day 24, April 11th, The Fishing Tourney. The Summer tourney will be significantly easier for me, now that I know you can double your points by fishing with someone else, but it took me HOURS to collect all the clams and get to 300 points. It wasn’t really worth it, but I love fish so much so I wasn’t going to miss a SINGLE thing. I got that gold trophy and I’m SO proud of myself.

Also my fishing outfit could slay for MILES

Straight Fire.

Day 25, April 12th, With a golden trophy in hand and the last day of eggies, I was feeling really confident. I had the means and the idea to change cliffs + water for a couple days and just... made what my brain came up with! I’ll keep this vague for now, because I’m really excited about the final results! Just know that everyday I edit a little bit more and come up with more ideas!

Day 26, April 13th, Happy Homestuck, Neil Bangs out the Tunes, and Thomas Sanders goes to the Wedding Day!! And it did NOT disappoint. Label for A 3RD TIME!!! She must like me as much as I like her >w<!! Today she gave out her cap!!! It’s, honestly, not my thing, I’d rather stick with the brim hats, but I do think they’re cute!! So I would buy them all the next day! The Able Sister’s haul on Day 27 was oh my gosh amazing!!! They had the cap, of course, but they also had THE OTHER SPRITE COSTUMES!! Which I bought all of them. And now I wear, near exclusively, this outfit in 5 different colors bwahaha!

Day 30, April 17th, I got my first golden item!!! The slingshot! Nice! Over the past few days, I’ve just been designing, moving houses, and building ramps! Learning new myth debunks, stuff like that!

I was also blessed with 3 encounters :OOOO I didn’t know this was even POSSIBLE!?

Day 31, April 18th, Disaster Strikes. I’ve been moving so many homes that I didn’t consider that a villager couldn’t move in because you were already doing a home thing for the day. So when I went to invite camper Gonzo to my town he declined!? I was devastated. He was SO cute and I thought he could move into Bruce’s house to keep the peace of personalities! I think he’s someone in the future who I’ll ask for a poster of or ask for an amiibo card of! I know I’m going to check the campsite first before moving any buildings from here on out! D’:

And that brings us to today,

Day 32, April 19th, one month from the day I started. I’ve been having the TIME of my life! There’s definitely been some ups and downs, but I have a goal in mind and it’s keeping me so focused! I organized an entire flower field today!! Due to a turnip mishap, I happen to be 2 days ahead of everyone, but I have been good about time traveling other than that. This means that I am fortunate enough to get my Nooklings upgrade 2 days early and they’ll be open tomorrow!!! I’m... I’m so excited!!! I NEED more flower seeds!!!!!!!

The future looks incredibly bright on Cillia island, and I cannot wait to hear about everyone else’s month!!

Thank you for your time. Please enjoy these random favorite photos of mine!

#Animal Crossing #ACNH #My Post #Cillia #Town of Cillia #Ezra #Island Rep Ezra #Mayor Ezra #Star-Villager #LONG #LONG POST #Animal Crossing New Horizons #Pictures #Photos #New Horizons

3 notes · View notes

kosmosian-quills · 4 years

Text

Bad to Worse

A very poorly written thing because I’m tired and tried to finish this for today. It also is probably not going to get used in the final version, but I wanted it written anyway.

Anyway, meet Tomasz! I have @cirianne to thank for the creation of this kind boy. I’M SORRY I HAD TO GET THIS OUT OF ME OK.

WIP: Angel

POV: Tomasz

Date: Monday, May 4th 2026

If exam preparations have taught me one thing, it’s that I really should listen to past me when they say go to bed on time, because it is now 8:52am, and I am going to be late for class if I don’t hurry up.

I look a mess, I know, I’m wearing yesterday’s jeans, a t shirt I found on the top of my clean clothes pile, and my backpack is slung over my shoulder as I hurried to grab it on my way out of the halls. I hadn’t even had the chance to grab anything real for breakfast yet. Urgh, I can’t be like this. Not when I have an exam tomorrow. I should be better than this.

It’s fine, calm down. I think I’ve still got that chocolate bar in my bag from yesterday. That’ll do until I can grab something else later.

The journey from halls to my lecture hall isn’t that far, about a 10 minute walk at most, but if I run like I am now, I can probably be there for just about 9am. I hope.

I had been awake until almost 4am this morning, so I’m running on nothing but will power at the moment. I’ve been so carefully diligent with my work this year, I don’t know why I thought studying at 3am was a good idea. I know that it isn’t an option tonight, not when one of my final exams is tomorrow morning. 9am sharp!

I make it into the lecture hall with barely a minute to spare, and find my seat with my friends, already seated and waiting.

“Running late, Tomasz?” Heidi smirked as I practically threw my bag down beside my seat, panting like a dog.

“I am not late, thank you very much,” I replied. “Class hasn’t started yet, has it?”

“Close enough,” Bruno nodded in the direction of the door, tapping his pen against his notebook, where the Professor was just coming into the room. “What did you do, sleep in?”

“Maybe, maybe not. I’m here, and that is what matters,” I pulled out my laptop, turning it on and tapping it impatiently. I really need an upgrade for this, but it’s all I can afford at the moment. It does its job well enough, just when I am a little more punctual.

I settle into the rhythm of the lecture quickly enough, sat with the friends I’ve come to know and learn with for the past seven months.

The time does pass ridiculously quickly during these formal-informal study sessions in preparation for our exams, but even I was surprised that Heidi actually looked at her phone when it buzzed.

Heidi was a student from southern Germany, somewhere bordering Austria I think. She’s a lovely girl, even if she is easily distracted. I can’t fault her though, she does well in classes and tests.

Bruno is quite the opposite. He is normally the one telling us to stop slacking and get studying. He’s technically German, but his family lived over in Kosmos for a few years when he was younger. I have to say, it’s very comforting to have someone from home here, even though he and his family left a few years ago.

She passes her phone aside to me, whispering aside “Look, Tomasz. You’ve still got family over there, right?”

The screen was a breaking news report, something that had happened in the last ten minutes.

Terrorist attack in Kosmosian capital.

I took it from her, skimming through the article. An explosion rocked the main street in the capital city as the citizens partake in their independence day festivities… there are dozens of confirmed casualties and at least 7 deaths…

Explosion. Casualties. Deaths!

Oh, no!

Terrorist attacks in my country are virtually unheard of. I don’t think there has been one, ever! At least, in my lifetime. What is going on there? I had totally forgotten that today was the Flower Festival, especially since my attempts at staying up until the early hours of this morning, but that’s a despicable strategy in order to ensure a lot of victims. Everyone is out in the streets today, it’s tradition for many of them.

“Not… in the capital, thankfully. But that’s awful.” I whispered, being careful not to distract the other students here.

That’s not entirely true though. I don’t have family there, true.

“I’ve got a friend there, in the capital.”

“Maybe you should give them a call?”

“She won’t have her phone, she’s not allowed it during the day,” I tell her as I pull out my phone, scrolling through my instant messages to find her contact. Słoneczka, I have her noted as, the picture is of her smiling back at me, taken the day she left Obokplaży before she started her shiny new job.

“Not allowed? Why wouldn’t she be allowed her phone?” Bruno joined in.

“She works for the Royal family. It’s kind of, a rule. She’ll see it later, I’m sure.” I told them as I started typing my message. Hey, Słoneczka. I saw the news, I hope everything’s okay over there. Stay safe.

I feel awful that I don’t try and call her, but I know it’s useless to even try. She just won’t be able to answer the call, so there’s no point. I hope she’ll see my message later, though. Maybe she’ll be allowed her phone to call her parents when things have calmed down, and she’ll see my message then.

“Oh yeah, I remember you saying. She’ll be fine. They’ve got tonnes of security, though, right?”

“Yeah, yeah…” I murmured, waiting for the confirmation that the message had been successfully delivered. It had.

I sent a message to my parents too, even though they’re home in Obokplazy, so I know they’ll be safe, but I wanted to be sure. It’s a terrible thing to happen.

“Tomasz, if you need to go, just go,” Heidi whispered to me, obviously aware that I hadn’t been paying attention for the last few minutes.

“No, I’m fine, I’ll be fine.” I said dismissively, putting my phone away and finally getting back to my lecture.

---

Date: Monday, May 4th 2026

By the time our morning break arrived, it seemed more frightful news reared its ugly head.

Something had happened at the castle, it seemed, due to the sudden arrival of the military and the total communication breakdown. One of the most unifying days in our calendar and it’s chaos over there, it seems. The last update was over an hour ago, and we had heard no more.

All I can think about it Matylda, over there in that castle. Whatever’s going on, she’s in the thick of it. I find myself staring at the message I sent her – still unread, and I just wish she would answer me. The rational part of my brain knows that if something is going on inside the castle, her last priority will be returning to her bedroom to fetch her phone and answer a half-hearted text from me, sent when I wasn’t aware that this had happened. I am also aware that even if she had her phone, the chances of her calling me are slim. I know what she’s like, she’ll call her parents first. In fact, should I call them? Should I just let them know that I am thinking about her? Ask them to let me know if they hear anything from her?

No, I shouldn’t. It would be rude and presumptuous of me. She’ll let me know in her own time, I’m sure. Besides, what Bruno said earlier is true. They’ve got the best security they could possibly have against any potential threat. She will be fine.

I still can’t shake the feeling, though, that something catastrophic has happened there. The radio silence is not helping either.

And of course this is happening around exam time.

There was one other Kosmosian national beside myself in our class, and she was shaken by the news, but her family live in Wgórach, so they’re safe from all the chaos. I’m thankful all the same that my family aren’t involved in any way.

Hey Słoneczka – I begin typing again – I hope you read this soon, and that everything is okay where you are.

I send the message before I even process what I wrote, and I am aware that the message I sent is probably… not the best way to end that.

I mean, I know it’s not. But I hope you and everyone else is alright. Let me know when you can.

The messages are still left unread, marked “Delivered”. It seems like an insult, mocking me, that I don’t know any more. Damn it, I’m worried about her. I haven’t seen her in almost a year, and I hope that the events over there haven’t taken her away from me. Of course I’ve spoken with her, and had conversations with her, but it’s not the same.

I don’t want to say there was something special in that kiss she gave me, because I am probably thinking too much into it, but there was something. The way she had stood on her tiptoes just to reach my cheek, and how scared she looked afterwards. I remember being stunned by her action, and could do no more to make her feel better than to return the kiss.

It was wonderful to share that with her. I just hope she’s okay.

---

Date: Monday, May 4th 2026

By the time 4pm rolls around – a whole 6 hours since the first reports of a terrorist attack – things have gone from bad, to very bad.

The headline this time is simple.

Kosmosian monarchy overthrown.

---

Date: Tuesday, May 5th 2026

I tried to focus on my exam, I truly did, but I knew it was a lost cause all the same. I was too distracted from the task at hand. I had hoped that my endless studying would prove an effective enough way to keep me occupied until things had calmed down, but it’s not working. It’s a plague eating at me, and I can’t help but worry about the implications.

Heidi thinks I shouldn’t even try the exam, not when all this is going on, but I wanted to give it a try anyway, hoping that the distraction is enough.

But it’s not, it’s really not.

Things were bad, over there. I promised myself that I wouldn’t read any news articles until after my exam, but that was a fruitless endeavour from the start. Someone who had read the news this morning said that the only airport in the entire country had been closed. No flights in or out. Same with the ports, no boats leaving the country anymore. Total radio silence too.

What is going on? It’s been totally closed off.

I really shouldn’t have tried to do this exam. I can’t think clearly. My mind is filled with these painful thoughts. I previously, naively, stupidly thought that my family would be okay because they aren’t in the capital, but now I am not so sure. Total isolation, and I haven’t heard a thing from them. Not even since yesterday.

The worst part of this is the implications for me now. I am a student here, yet still a Kosmosian national. I am expected to return home for the summer after term has ended, but that seems unlikely. That headline last night made sure to strike that fear into me, well and truly. How am I supposed to get home if they’ve closed the borders? Will I be allowed to stay here? Just what can I do from here, when my country is in turmoil just across the sea? Barely a two hour flight from here?

What about my parents? My friends? Matylda? I have no idea if they’re even alive. Matylda was there, she must still be in the castle, at best. She could be dead right now, if that takeover was as violent as the article sounded –

Stop it. Don’t think like that. She’s fine.

But it’s still sickening to think about. I can’t be here, but if I miss this exam I doubt I will have the student visa to allow me to stay. I have to at least try. Heidi and Bruno seem certain that I could have missed this exam with zero repercussions because of what’s happening, the turmoil, but as I said to them – I want distracting whilst everything calms down.

I don’t think that will be happening.

I should probably just admit to the professor what a terrible piece of work this essay is becoming. We’re barely an hour into this exam and it feels like I have been here for almost a day. My head is throbbing, and I can’t focus anymore on this.

I somehow managed to make it to the end of the exam, not that I am proud of the little I did write, but when I turned my phone back on, what I saw made me physically ill.

Someone had livestreamed what was going on, and a news reporter had picked it up. Just two hours ago, whilst I was still in that hall, was the live, public execution of the King.

The news station couldn’t show the actual regicide, of course, but it was more than enough for me to be sure of one thing.

Matylda is probably as dead as he is.

#my writing #my OC's #WIP: Angel #POV: Tomasz #can you tell I'm tired #it's not great #I can't write articles can you tell #but yeah #Tomasz is the previously (at one point) mentioned sweetheart of Matylda #he's a student studying in Germany atm #and things are........... bad #i think I'll post the wholesome stuff I have wrote for the two of them #they're precious and innocent and WHOLESOME DAMN IT

7 notes · View notes

adhdbuzz · 4 years

Text

(Quick note - I have copied this over from my main blog - this is my content...)

ADHD, Neurodivergence, Identity…

I want to start blogging about some of my experiences with mental illness and neurodivergence. Two words, that before this year, I would never of used in relation to myself.

One of the most fascinating and somewhat crippling aspects of learning you are neurodivergent, is becoming so hyperaware of your thoughts, actions, personality, wondering what’s you and what’s your diagnosis, (or what you are imagining/projecting because of your diagnosis). I likely drive my friends mad talking or joking about it, but it’s hard to articulate the complete upheaval that learning this about yourself creates. Suddenly your entire history and personhood is re-defined. You have to change your narrative. I spent most of my teenagehood and childhood feeling removed/estranged from the people and world around me. More than feeling an ‘outcast,’ I felt myself an alien. I believed (and felt that others believed), that I was incredibly lazy and did not have the drive to puruse my passions and potential. This left such a hole in my heart and self-confidence. Imagine that you have this great love for something - or many things, but can’t even motivate yourself to take one single step toward it. You lose interest in every hobby you’ve ever taken up and you don’t understand why you can’t just do the thing. It seems easy for everyone else? What am I missing? So you compensate. Suddenly (and very briefly), you are really into note-taking and study blogs and watching countless hours of videos on how to get organised and ‘change your life’ and you imagine what kind of person you could become. Or you start every new year or semester with the goal to just stay on top of things, just remember, just write it down - everyone else does it? Why can’t you? Inevitably, that falls away.

What happens when you can’t maintain this? When suddenly those three assignments are due, you’ve dropped out of your class/hobby, you’ve missed another opportunity, avoided another goal and heard another person tell you, ‘you just need to get organised…’ ‘ you’ve got so much potential, you just need to apply yourself!’ “I don’t understand how you forgot/didn’t do the thing/didn’t write it down!”

I don’t think I can ever effectively describe the impact that this has had on me. There is something so devastating in not understanding there is something different about your brain during the really sensitive, formative years of your life. Because you end up spending so much time trying to work out why you are not like everyone else, why you struggle with things that most people find easy, why it is a constant battle to stay afloat, to have people angry with you/criticising you for something that you both feel should be in your control, but neurologically isn’t.

ADHD is so severly misunderstood. It’s invisible and it is crippling. The image of the little boy in class who can’t sit still or stop talking is such a prevalent and damaging stereotype. Before I got my diagnosis and before I even had looked into ADHD, I spent hours researching what could be wrong with me and doing online ‘tests’. These ranged from anxiety, to depression, Bipolar, PMDD and Personality Disorders, (strangely enough, ADHD often exists alongside other mental illnesses and I was diagnosed with co-morbidities…) But I think this gives a degree of context to what undiagnosed ADHD feels like, because it’s not someone who wont shut up, or sit still. To me it feels like everyone else got a manual on how to be a person and I didn’t. Often times, it’s the depressed, anxious, struggling teenager or young adult, who feels so inadequate, who feels like an alien, who can’t even trust their own passions or interests. Who is in a constant battle to meet the expectations of themselves and those around them. Who’s socially awkward or uncomfortable, who’s disocciated, who can’t follow a conversation, or instructions, who suffers in loud spaces, who struggles with small talk, strangers, shopping centres, keeping themselves and their space clean, uni work, school work, chores, family, friendships, relationships, their identity, their passions, there interests, their personality, regualating their emotions

ADHD is so exhausting, because it’s a constant battle to just meet the base line. Every thing you do from the moment you get up, til the moment you are asleep (and even then) is impacted by it.

Say you have an assignment, and a couple of chores to do on one day. Not a big deal right? Ok so you set an alarm for 8am, except your brain didn’t turn off until 4am the night before, so you get up at mid day, you go to put the washing in, but you forgot to turn on yesterdays load, so you do that first, you go to make a morning coffee, you check the time, it’s 12.30 - where did half an hour go? I just got up?! (Time-blindness). You make your coffee and drink it while checking social media, which sucks you in, because your dopamine depleted brain craves stimuli! You check the time, its 1pm, you tell yourself you’ll scroll for ten more minutes, and that ten minute excuse repeats a few times. It’s 1.30 and now your angry, because why didn’t you have the self control! (Hint: you have a disordered executive function). You put your mug on the sink, promising you’ll come back to it later. You go back to the laundry, you realise you forgot to turn the dryer on. You go to do your assignment, you clear your desk, open laptop, but now you don’t know where to start - you can’t naturally prioritise tasks, or break down the individual steps that need to be done in order to complete an assignment, you must do this with the ‘skills’ you have actively had to learn from a coach, internet etc. It’s like trying to bake a cake with no measuring cups, or recipe! So now you are looking at the assessment outline, and what you’ve worked on already, and trying to close last nights 200 tabs of hyperfixation. You read the outline 5 times without actually reading it, on the 6th you try really hard, you’re fidgeting in your chair, it’s an almost physical pain having to sit there and read it. Your eyes feel glazy, there’s too many words and they look like a big smudge on the page. You quickly check messages (dopamine hit), you come back to the outline. Its been half an hour, you still haven’t started. It’s about 2pm, you havent had lunch or breakfast. You go make a tea and come back. Maybe you need backround music? You spend another 20 minutes finding the right playlist, except its not right because it’s either too stimulating or not stimulating enough. You find another playlist, or you go down the rabbit whole of some movie soundtrack you’ve been meaning to look at. It’s 2.45. The washing! You go back and finally get yesterdays load in the dryer and start the load you meant to do today. Might as well make another tea now that I’m up. Might as well check Facebook now I’ve been interrupted. I’ll start at 3.30. 3.30 rolls around, your sibling gets home from school. Noise, talking, lunchbox rattling, bags being unpacked. Distraction. The noise is painful, your executive function (the impaired part of the ADHD brain) is also responsible for emotional regulation. Suddenly you are so fiercly angry at the noise being made in the rest of the house. It’s so over stimulating it feels like sandpaper on your brain and ears, you feel sick to your stomach with rage, you are crying, sobbing. All because people in the other room are talking. You lay on your bed trying to calm the overwhelm and increasing stress at not having done your assignment. It’s 4pm. Mum asks why you left your mug out, or didn’t do the dishes (you were too busy thinking about doing the washing!) She notes the machine still going and tells you that you wont have time to put it in the dryer tonight, you’ll have to do it tomorrow. But you need those clothes for tomorrow, you’re having breakfast with a friend. You’ll have to reschedule. You message your friend, and repeat the standard script “god I am so sorry, I’m such a mess, can we do later in the morning? I’ve got to do chores…” they can’t reschedule, you cancel. You sit back down with the assignment. You fidget. It feels like a physical pain to have to sit there and force yourself to do it. You’ll do it tomorrow. You pack up, and get ready for bed, removing the pile on your bed back to your desk. Your sheets are unmade, it’s uncomfortable and you feel agitated. You’ve forgotten to brush your teeth, or clean your face. You scroll online, or hyperfocus on a new hobby, project, idea, that wont interest you tomorrow, until 3am. You set your alarm for 8am…

This is just one small example and snapshot of ADHD and the impact of Executive Dysfunction. Here are a couple of examples/descriptions of how it feels from the ADHD subreddit.

“Schrodinger’s ADHD: Everything is interesting and boring at the same time. Every subject, every hobby.”

‘The Two ADHD Moods: I can’t do it / I can’t stop doing it. The two types of ADHD time: Now / Not Now The two ADHD memory modes: I literally can not recall the words that just came out of my mouth / I can recite the opening paragraph of every single magic tree house book.’

I also want to talk Neurodivergence, as this is another misconception when it comes to ADHD. In the way that Autism, Tourettes, Dyscalculia, Dysgraphia are all forms of neurodivergence, so is ADHD. ADHD is not a behavoural issue, but a neurobiological developmental disorder. ADHD also has many overlapping traits with Autism, (not to be confused as the same, ADHD is not on the spectrum). These include, sensory overwhelm/sensitivity, memory issues, hyperfocus/hyperfixation, interrupting conversation/trouble waiting in turn, issues reading/recognising social cues, stimming, perseveration, (getting ‘stuck’ on or repeating a thought, topic or idea, even if the conversation has moved on), and avoidance/trouble with eye contact.

To be clear, ADHD is not on the spectrum, a distinguishing feature between these neurotypes is the cause of the symptom. For example someone with ADHD may not recognise social cues due to inattention/overwhelm/impulsivity, where as someone with autism may struggle to interpret these social cues.

It is important for ADHD to be recognised as a neurotype, and not a behavoural issue. When discussing ADHD traits with a neurotypical person, the response is often along the lines of ‘well everyone is a little distracted/unmotivated/lazy/forgetful/late sometimes.’ My response to that ‘Would you say that everyone is a bit ‘socially awkward/shy’ sometimes to an autistic person? Or ‘everyone has trouble reading sometimes’ to a dyslexic person?’ I imagine the answer would be no, as it is understood that these traits are a consistent, uncontrollable and debilitating.

The more I have learnt and read about ADHD in the context of neurodivergence, the more I have tried to recognise the ways I hide or detract from my symptoms, by ‘masking’. This has included, taking on certain personas or feeding someone elses assumption about me as ‘the messy one,’ ‘the disorganised one,’ ‘the chaotic one.’ In the past I have almost embraced these stereotypes about myself, as it gave me a sense of identity, a framework with which to see and understand myself. Frustration and anger masked over-stimulation/overwhelm, I was not able to recognise the root of these feelings and I also learnt to fidget/stim in the ‘right’ way. When engaging in small talk with someone I am unfamiliar with, I often resort to mimicing or imitating how I have seen other people interact, speak etc and I am conscious of eye contact, (too much, too little?). I catch myself looking at people/staring too much and am constantly trying to gauge what the right amount is, where else to look, etc. I struggle a lot with taking turns in convesation, as I don’t always know where to interject, or I worry I will forget the thought, this has led me to just stay silent instead in conversations and present myself as serious, or elusive.

That’s really all I have to say for today. I think overall ADHD is far more complex and challenging than it is perceived to be, and these stereotypes are so harmful to people who have it and are trying to navigate not only their symptoms, but a world that is not understanding nor knowledgeable of the limitations and struggles of ADHD or neurodivergence.

I have a lot more to say on all this and will try and write more about this going forward. DM/comment etc if you have any thoughts or criticism of anything I have said. Disclaimer, I am still learning and may make mistakes regarding information, or discussing other neurotypes !

Here are some links you might want to check out if you have/think you have ADHD or you have a friend or family member with ADHD. I also highly, highly recommend the ADHD subreddit!

ADHD explained simply:

https://www.additudemag.com/what-is-adhd-symptoms-causes-treatments/

“ADHD is a developmental impairment of the brain’s executive functions. People with ADHD have trouble with impulse-control, focusing, and organization.

“’Attention deficit’ is, some experts assert, a misleading name. “Attention deregulation” might be a more accurate description since most people with ADHD have more than enough attention — they just can’t harness it in the right direction at the right time with any consistency.”

Comorbidities https://adhd-institute.com/burden-of-adhd/epidemiology/comorbidities/ “The majority of adults with ADHD have a diagnosed or undiagnosed comorbid psychiatric disorder, which can complicate diagnosis and treatment of ADHD.1-3“ ADHD and Autism https://www.spectrumnews.org/features/deep-dive/decoding-overlap-autism-adhd/ “A growing number of genetic studies support the notion of at least some shared causation between autism and ADHD. But imaging studies comparing brain structures and connectivity have yielded a confusing mix of similarities and differences. And some behavioral research has highlighted the possibility that outwardly similar features mask distinct underlying mechanisms. Inattention in a person with autism, for example, might result from sensory overload, and apparent social problems in someone with ADHD may reflect impulsivity. Perseveration https://www.understood.org/en/friends-feelings/common-challenges/self-control/perseveration-adhd-and-learning-differences

“(Kids) who perseverate often say the same thing or behave in the same way over and over again. And they do it past the point where it makes sense or will change anything. It’s like they’re stuck in a loop that they can’t get out of.”

ADHD and social skills https://chadd.org/for-adults/relationships-social-skills/#:~:text=Social%20Skills%20in%20Adults%20with,their%20inattention%2C%20impulsivity%20and%20hyperactivity.

“Social skills are generally acquired through incidental learning: watching people, copying the behavior of others, practicing, and getting feedback. Most people start this process during early childhood. Social skills are practiced and honed by “playing grown-up” and through other childhood activities. The finer points of social interactions are sharpened by observation and peer feedback.

Children with ADHD often miss these details. They may pick up bits and pieces of what is appropriate but lack an overall view of social expectations. Unfortunately, as adults, they often realize “something” is missing but are never quite sure what that “something” may be.”

ADHD and stimming https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/adhd/repetitive-behaviors-in-children-with-adhd-stimming-fidgeting-and-what-these-actions-may-mean/

“Many believe that stimming and fidgeting is reserved for those on the autism spectrum. However, it is now known that children with ADHD are just as likely to use repetitive body movements to self-stimulate. In fact, autistic stimming and non-autistic stimming are different. The main difference is that those with ADHD typically only use stimming for a short period of time while they are trying to concentrate. For example, someone with ADHD may stim for under an hour while those with autism will stim for several hours at a time. While stimming and fidgeting are typically seen as tapping or rocking, there are many other things that children with ADHD do to self-stimulate. There are actually five different variations of stimming, which include olfactory, vestibular, visual, tactile, and auditory.”

#adhd #neurodivergent #neurodiversity

0 notes

bolbianddolanhouse · 5 years

Text

BNHA self insert AU

Nani the heck is this? Read here!

Chapter 20: What’s the Tea Sis?

It’s the day of the interview and our class was very excited to dress up like we were going to the Gala or some shit. I get visibly giddy and everyone outside the program notices.

“Iida-kun she’s in a good mood!” Kirishima nudges him in the locker rooms after in class training “you should ask her for that coffee date after finals before she gets busy.”

“I’ll ask her when we get to the dorms” Iida buttons up his shirt “she might be pretending again and she’s really stressed and bothered by something we did.”

“How do you know that’s what she does?” Mineta asks suspiciously.

“Because I always catch her when I think she’s a good mood to talk about things and she’s on the verge of going off on us.”

“Oof yea wait until then” responded Sero.

The rest of my day went uneventful and I teleported to my dorm the minute school let out for the day. I took my shower and finished before everyone came back from school. Right on the dot, Mimi and Jin portal in my room at 4pm with their outfits get coordinated. I get to flat ironing Mimi’s hair as Jin brushed Muffin 2.0′s fur, I do a dewy look on Mimi to make her eyes pop. I put my hair in a slicked back high sock bun and do a gold eye with glitter gloss, just to make things simple. Once the outfits were put on and we saw each other in the mirror together, we gasped on how much CEO realness we were serving.

“Ladies, shall we sashay out of this building to give these hero wannabes the full fantasy?” Jin got the leash that we put on the robo dog.

“Yes gawd! I wanna serve looks tonight~” I tongue popped like I was a drag queen.

We walk out, radiating power to whoever saw us.

“Oh Palma-san! What opulence you display” Aoyama came up to us as he grabbed my hand and Mimi’s “you ladies are what my dreams are made of” he kisses our hands “And you good sir are one lucky man to prance with these shining beauties!~”

Mimi gives me side eye “You aren’t kidding when you say some of them just throw themselves onto you when dressed up.” She takes out her sliver gun and points it to Aoyama “un-hand us croissant muncher, we got places to go.”

He immediately takes his hands away and backs up, all the boys were cackling at Mimi’s comment. Iida comes up to us and gives me the once over “In all seriousness, where are you 3 going?”

“Mission, top secret” Jin was lying through his teeth but we played along “If successful, we’ll come back richer. If we lose, we might not be coming back at all.”

“Yes, so I guess this is my good bye everyone” I try not to laugh “just in case we slip up.”

We quickly run through the portal Jin deployed so nobody had time to stop us. We laugh at my car as we waited on our other classmates to come out. On the way there, we pass by were I was housed and were Jin was housed. The location was just where the business district begins, not too far into town. We gathered in the parking lot and heading in just in time to give our presentations. There was panel of 3 people, 2 men and one woman in their late 40′s, dressed in executive like clothing. One of the men was clearly an ex-agent, the way he carried himself and the holsters on his waist were branded with a crest that I couldn’t recognize. We started with our term 1 projects, to nobody’s surprise, the robot dog took the interest of the panel. Next was a slide-show presentation of our year in pictures and all of us had a turn talking, the woman spoke up when we talked about Zippy.

“Waitwaitwaitwait! You, as a class, adopted this creature and TRAINED it to hold a gun?” she was having trouble putting it into words “and then you committed FRAUD to the agent board of education to let them give the lizard the test, passing him as a student and he received a license upon passing?!”

“Erm yes” Jin spoke up “but to be fair to the board of education that was present at the licensing exam, they didn’t check the roster nor looked up the student ID we gave them, it wasn’t in our school system and it was just ‘69′ 5 times on a faked school ID card.”

“Wow, a group 9 teens and a lizard outsmarting the board of education” said the other man to the ex-agent “impressive ain’t it? Remind you of old times?”

“Heh, those old geezers don’t know how to run shit” said the ex-agent, remising on his past “ok sorry for the derailment, please continue.”

We continued our presentation and they asked us a few more questions about our living space and off-campus trips. Some questions on our pro-hero practice exam came up and how was our experience with that.

“With your donation” I led into the closing statements “we’d have a better living space and more off-campus trips, despite the villain threat.”

“All we ask are those things” Hansai wrapped things up.

The panel thinks for a bit and talk amongst themselves like they aren’t sure if we are worthy candidates, the ex-agent turned to us for a final question.

“Not that it’ll matter, but how did you get here tonight?”

“Oh we took 3 carpools to get here” I spoke up “the school denied us a bus or limo because it wasn’t in the budget.”

The woman gave us a concerned look “How dare they deny basics! I’d had it with these pompous hero schools trying to suppress their agents!” she stood up and copied herself into 9 copies of herself “congratulations UA Intel A-class, you are our next donation recipients.” She came up to us and shook our hands, I took a peek at her appearance. She was a private agent, the ring she wore was stamped with the Emperor’s Coup crest, one of the highest ranked agencies that work closely with the country’s intelligence. Not to mention, she had a vine tattoo that crept up her right arm, don’t know what that means but it was a nice piece. We stayed a bit longer to thank them before heading back to the cars to debrief.

“Ok kids, let me say, I’m proud of you for swaying them to giving us the money” Diya sensei started “but I want all of you to get your butts to bed! It’s nearing 8pm and I’m not going to play games with you tomorrow morning. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes sir” we said weakly, Jin raised his hand.

“Yes Matsui?”

“Can we get McDonalds? Under the condition that we pay for our own stuff and drive thru only?”

Diya thinks about it “If you give those conditions, then I don’t see why not.”

We cheer and Jin gets cocky as we pile in the cars to get to the nearest McDonalds, he plays Lip Gloss by Lil Mama on the way. We get our food and get so excited to go eat our food knowing we deserve it. I park and see my classmates off to their dorms, I teleport to the commons room, it’s empty and quiet. I don’t think much of it and I walk over to my room. I turn on my light and see Iida on my bed, tear stained like he was crying for hours.

“Oh my god!” I put my stuff down and run to him “What happened? Are you ok?” I put my hand on his face to check his vitals, he was alright but I was still concerned.

“You’re back! I was so afraid you weren’t coming back!” he held me “please, please take me with you on your missions. I don’t think I can live with myself if you got hurt or worse.”

I was confused at first and then I remembered that Jin lied to them, I was about to continue on the lie “Thank you for your concern but I’m fine! It was a success and nobody got hurt” I wiped his tears with my thumb “no more tears, come on big guy.” I levitated him up from my bed and to his room “I have some debriefing to do before bed and it’s way past your bedtime!” I plop him down on his bed and turn to leave.

“Wait! Ita” I turn to see him and he’s sitting up on his bed “I need to tell you something.”

“What is it?”

His mind blanked the moment I said that, we stood in silence as he turned red “Umm that I am so grateful that you’re alive and well!” he rushed his words “and I would love to spend this cold season with you.”

“I don’t know what all that means but um thanks?” I really didn’t know why he said any of that “well good night Tenya, sweet dreams.”

He waved good bye to me and screamed into his pillow because he messed up his wording. He meant to say ‘I’m glad you’re safe and let’s spend the winter season together after finals.’ “Why am I like this?” he spoke into the pillow “one look and my mind goes blank like I don’t have motor functions.”

Next few days were my insanity days with studying and training for the crackheads. All us intel kids were really holding it together to take our 200 question multiple choice final on Tuesday. It would’ve been fine but it was just so much to take in one sitting, I finished in an hour and 24 minutes, you bet I floated my ass to the ceiling to weep to myself for comfort. Everyone else finished before lunch but I still had to go to hero class, I was too mentally exhausted to teleport so I walked. As I calmed myself to go to class, I run into the Big 3.

“Ah Palma-san!” Nejire waved me down “its been too long!”

“hahaha yea! It’s like I’ve been avoiding yall” I was uncomfortable but trying to be polite “are you 3 ready to graduate?”

“Ye-yea, we can’t wait to get out there in the workforce” Amajiki seemed a little more confident.

“Yes! And I would like to extend the invitation to attend our graduation” Mirio bowed as he handed me an envelope with my name on it “and also to my graduation party, since I know you like parties.”

“Oh thank you, I’ll be there!” I got giddy “see you then! I gotta get to class.” I waved them off as I briskly walked to class to flex on my classmates that I got personally invited to the graduation ceremony. But then I hear another voice call out my name.

“Palma-san! Hey over here!” it was Kendo and she looked worried.

“Oh? Hi Kendo-san, how are you doing today?”

“I’m feeling a little stressed but alright, thanks for asking” she shifts from a small smile to worried again “hey I heard about you cutting off Monoma, and I don’t blame you, thats not why I approached you.”

“Hmm, is he getting worse?”

“Yea, he just isn’t motivated like he used to” she exhaled “the exam is tomorrow and he has one shoddy technique to show for all that time you spent with him, I just want to apologize for all that wasted time and his bad attitude.”

“No need to apologize, I knew what I was getting myself into” I sighed “if he wants to come back to technique developing with me, he’s more than welcome at any time but I already told him that he needs an attitude change if he wants to get far.”

“He didn’t mention that to me” she gave me a small smile “all he said that he liked you and wanted to win you over by improving before the next term starts.”

“Heh I don’t believe that liking me part” I laughed “but I’m looking forward to him improving.” I look at the time “oh jeez, gotta run Kendo! See you around, good luck tomorrow!”

She waved me off as I ran to class, and just in time too. I spend the class time with the final session of training and I really pushed it a bit to my ability and almost fucked myself up. But then I got fucked over because Mina wasn’t aware of her surroundings and almost got rekt by Bakugo’s blast wave, I used my teleportation to get her to safety but completely exhausted my mental capacity.

“Oh my gosh Palma-san!” screamed Mina as I was face down on the ground “please please wake up! I’m sorry I was being a dumb bitch and you sacrificed yourself!” She was bawling as she shook my limp body.

“Binch I’m conscious, stop shaking me!” I groaned “flip me over tho.” She flips me over and I gasped for air “oof there’s rocks in my bra and ass bruh.”

Everyone stops and gathers around me, Aizawa breaks them up and kneels at me “Are you good Miss Palma? You were about to tap out before that tackle.”

“Nah nah I’m good” I wasn’t okay but I’m no bitch “lemme just get up.” I didn’t move as I tried to levitate up “Okaaay, let try the old fashioned way, hup!” I tried to sit up and could barely lift my head, I sighed in defeat “oh dear, I may have exhausted myself. How annoying!”

“Aww fuck sorry Palma” Bakugo apologized “here let me take you to the nurse.” he picks me up with some struggle. Iida runs up to us.

“No please allow me Bakugo I can-”

“Fuck off four eyes” he snapped “just because you like to baby her doesn’t mean you’re the only one that should help her.”

“Just hand her to me! You’re struggling to carry her” Iida wasn’t playing games, he took her from his arms. They started to fight over her on who was take her to the nurse.

“Um guys?” Midoriya started as he saw me slip into unconsciousness.

“STOP SHE’S SLIPPING INTO UNCONSCIOUSNESS!” Aizawa yelled as he activated his erasure for safety. “I’m going to take her to the nurse, class is over.”

I wake up in the nurse’s office and Recovery Girl was relieved “Oh good you woke up, you really pushed yourself Miss Palma.”

“I did?” I sat up and now I could actually move my body.

“Yes, I did a scan and your body was exhausted but your brain waves are strained and weakened.” She showed me a graph of the waves “here, it’s pretty close to unstable levels, I’m prescribing 5 days no quirk using.”

“Alright, I can deal with that” I sighed “at least it’s not going to get in the way of anything now that school is letting out.” I get released in time to go to Stats and Strats. I take the final and we were allowed to leave when we finished. Jin and I finish at around the same time and he portals me to my room to go into deep sleep. I change out of my uniform and go to sleep right away. I woke up close to 7pm, fuck I missed dinner I thought as my stomach growled I guess I’ll fuck off and eat yogurt and berries. I walk out to the kitchen and see the lights are dimmed and there was a plate of food on the counter. I wasn’t sure if it was for me but then I saw the note with my name on it: For Palma-san, sorry for being dumb.

“Well at least they know they’re dumb” I said as I sat down to eat. Before I could bring my fork to my mouth, somebody flipped on the light to full brightness. “Ay! mis ojos!”

“Oh sorry Palma-san!” Iida apologized and dimmed the lights again “I didn’t know you woke up.”

“Yea I did” I rubbed my eyes “I’m so hungry and just want to sleep for a few days to heal myself.”

“I’m sorry that we’ve been so inconsiderate of your health” he sat next to me “but let me make it up to you” he put his hand on my hand “lets go to coffee after finals tomorrow, to take the edge off.”

“Oh I’d love to but I got invited to graduation and a graduation party” I said to not sound like I didn’t want to spend time with him “maybe next week? I’m not doing anything and I really want to spend time with you again.”

He perked up “Really? You like to spend time with me?”

“Yea! You’re a great at conversation and I love how you willingly go where I want to go” I don’t see his face but he’s blushing “In America, I never got to do what I wanted and others often didn’t want to talk to me more than they wanted to. But when we have our alone time, I get heard and cherished like I’ve always wanted to.” I look at him and he tenses up “you’re one of my only friends Tenya, I don’t know where I’d be without you. And not to sound like a shojo beat manga but, you’re one of few that I have that I consider my chosen family.”

“Chosen family?” he asked with curiosity “whats that?”

“Oh um it’s a group of people you trust and get along with more than your own family” I explained “in this case, I’m separated from mine so I find trust and comfort in you, my squadron and Midnight.”

“I see now, I feel honored that you have me in that circle” he hugged me “thank you for seeing me as such.”

“No thank you, for approaching me on that day” I nestled myself in his chest “also I don’t know if this is weird but you’ve been improving on your hugs” I tighten my hug “they’re much less soul crushing and more gentle and caring, like the ones my dad gives me when I’m too stressed to close my eyes. He would hold me like this until I fall asleep.”

I yawned and he saw how relaxed I got “I will keep that in mind when you can’t sleep.” He let me finish eating before I fell asleep on the counter. I went to bed again and was very excited to see what’s going to unfold.

-The next day, sitting in on the hero placement exam-

I sit behind safety glass to observe all the hero courses go at it to show their skills. I was the only student in the small audience, everyone else was a teacher or staff member.

“So this is the legend herself” a deep male voice said behind me “Miss Palma, American born, double wielder and the most patient young lady in the world.”

I turn and see Vlad sensei “Oh! hello, I don’t know about all that but yes, I am Miss Palma.”

“You’ve put in great work to help my students to be better strategists and develop techniques” he bowed to me “thank you for your generosity and I apologize on behalf of Monoma for being a stress on your time with him.”

“Oh its not a problem! He’s welcome to seek me out when he changes his mentality on respect.”

“Thats a reasonable compromise” the siren rings to warn the students to be at the starting gates “I hope this will change his mind about it.”

I tried not to root for any one or scream when they’re fucking up. I saw alot of my techniques out on that field and it was a bit strange for me. Not because it’s my techniques but its because they found it useful enough to keep it in their repertoire. It ended and they got the final results but they won’t know until after school, but I got the insider scoop and the one person thats going in A class is Shinso. Aizawa and I got really excited since he sought us out for his training and it payed off. I meet up with the others when they dressed and I let them know I was in the audience. After lunch, I took my hero course final with Aizawa and it was not as bad as I thought. There was no Stats and Strats because graduation. I attended their graduation in the auditorium, it was really nice, way better than American high school graduation. I got to see the Big 3 in each program and what made them the Big 3. Afterwards when I went up to the graduates, I was given a uniform button from Mirio, Amajiki, Agent 420 and some girl in Mirio’s class that everyone called SeaWitch (she has an amphibious quirk). I didn’t know what it all meant but I was polite and said my thank yous. I drove back to the dorms to change for the party later.

“Oh you’re back!” Hagakure jumped up “how was it? did you get any buttons?”

“How did you know I got buttons?”

All the girls gasped and swarmed me “SHOW US THE BUTTONS!” they all chanted.

“Oh jeez it must be a huge deal” I show them the 4 buttons “I got one from Mirio, Amajiki, a 3rd year in intelligence and from that one girl in 3rd year that turns into a mermaid.”

“I can’t believe it! Four buttons!” Momo looked at me with envy “I’d be lucky to even get one!”

“Not to be a baka-gaijin” I got shy because I have no idea “but what’s so special about getting a button?”

“Oh thats right! You don’t know about these little gestures” Uraraka remembers that I wasn’t born here “when you get a button from a graduate, that means they’re confessing that they liked you and never got the chance to tell you. It’s almost like a last chance to tell them you like them and maybe you’ll start dating or be friends.”

“Oh I see” I look at the buttons on my hand and remembered their faces when they gave me the button “its gonna get super awkward at Mirio’s party because I’m going and so are all the people that gave me buttons.”

“Oh dear that sounds sooooo awful” Jiro said sarcastically “I hate it when all my love interests are all at the same party I am!”

“Jiro-chan! you don’t have to put it like that!” elbowed Mina.

I shrugged it off and I dressed to go to his party. Now, I was under the impression that it was a clean party and his parents are going to be there so I should wear something to cover my tattoos and it should be cute and simple. I drive to his place and arrive at around 7pm, a bit after what the invite said. I enter and its a house party, no parents in sight, booze chilled, music starting to pop BUT the guests aren’t really partaking in the booze.

“HEY YOU MADE IT!” it was Mirio coming at me at full speed.

I dodge his hug tackle “Yes I’ve arrived, glad to see that you have your pants on.”

“Lil mama! Come here, I saved you a seat” it was agent 420 and he was patting his lap.

I wasn’t that into him but I also didn’t want to talk to Mirio all night. I walked over and he proceeded to confess. Not to really shit on his feelings but I softly let him down and he just accepted it like a champ. I didn’t really drink or had fun, the music was garbage but the food was great! It was 9pm, I was sober again and the party was basically dead. I went to the kitchen to see what type of cereal they had because I was that bored, couldn’t find the cereal but I saw in the kitchen window the things going on there. There was SeaWitch and her friends just sitting in a bunch of kiddie pools. I walk out there and asked if I could join them because I hated what was going on inside the house. They let me sit with them and I found out SeaWitch’s real name, Its Mary Kuna. She then confessed to me and I had to say that while I don’t feel the same, I support her in coming out via button to me. I chat with everyone in the kiddie pools and I hear my name being called out.

“Oh hey its Mirio-san and Han-san” Mary pointed out with a cup in her hand.

“So thats his last name” I said softly as I turn to see Mirio, agent 420 and Amajiki hiding behind Mirio “whats the haps fellas?”

“We were talking and we came to a conclusion” Mirio spoke with his arms crossed “you aren’t having fun and you haven’t been paying much attention to us after confessing but are having fun out here with the water dwellers.”

“So heres the deal lil mama” agent 420 leaned in “you gotta choose between us if you want to have some fun and we’ll make it worth while and if you want to leave you have to kiss one of us.”

I was disgusted by this display, they were playing against me to choose for my freedom. But I had a plan “So I have to choose somebody that confessed to me to stay and have fun or kiss them to leave?” I asked to the 3 boys for clarity.

“Yes that is correct” said Mirio very eagerly like I was going to choose him.

I turn to Mary “May I have this kiss? I’ve had fun with you and I feel very unsafe being pressured to choose between naked man, weed number and shy McGee.” She nods and we give a very light kiss and I stand up from the kiddie pool I was sitting in “Now that I made my decision, I’ll be taking my leave from one of the lamest parties I’ve been invited to.”

“Wait up, let me walk you to your car” Mary stood up and retract her scales and fins “I’d hate to see any of these boys following you and pressure you to do anything else.” She put her arm through mine and her friends also stood up to escort me. “If you 3 do so much as follow us outside, you’ll have to face the wrath of me and my friends. I don’t care how strong you are, you don’t pressure girls to kiss you if they want to leave. I hope you 3 never reproduce!”

I was floored by the power of those words and how it made the boys back off. When they took me to my car, I hugged all of them for coming to my aid. We exchanged social media handles and then I left. It was a bit past 10pm when I got to the dorms, everyone was in their rooms and didn’t notice when I got there. I changed out of my wet clothes and got into bed. The next day, I woke up at exactly 10am and I was pumped because it was finally winter break, christmas was a week away and school resumes a few days before the start of February. I come out of my room and straight to the kitchen and everyone greeted me and my brain cells weren’t clocked in to do their job.

“Good morning! FELLAS!” I spot the baguette on the counter “is it gay? to eat bread?!” I hit the hardest dab anyone has ever seen. The girls were confused but the boys laughed but then got serious like they were pondering on my question.

“Wait! IS it gay to eat bread?” asked Sero as he looked at his plate “I mean it’s in the shape of a dick.”

“GUYS! with that logic” Mineta said with wide eyes “breadsticks, bread DICKS!” I wish I knew how to describe the room with the boys hollering that they confirmed that eating bread is gay and the girls now more confused than ever before. All the while I was just standing there and I wasn’t being serious. Bakugo and Kirishima come to the kitchen.

“Guys! do you think eating bread is gay?!” Kaminari asked the other two.

“What kind of- WHO SAID THAT SHIT?!” Bakugo yelled, ready to fight whoever said that.

“Woah woah woah there Bakugo!” Kirishima tried to level the situation “I firmly believe eating bread is gay on the account that you use your mouth to eat a dick shaped thing BUT I will never give up bread.”

I crept my way to the coffee maker because I did not want to get bashed for being on my dumb shit so early. Todoroki and Midoriya then enter. Same question asked, but this time Midoriya pondered the question and Todoroki went back to his room. Iida then came in and locked eyes with me but he was soon hit with the question.

“Iida-kun! Is it gay to eat bread?” Mineta spoke up.

“HOW IS IT HOMOSEXUAL TO EAT BREAD?!” he yelled and chopped furiously at that dumb shit.

“Palma-san brought it up and I need your opinion” Mineta retorted “are you pro-bread or not gay?”

“Wait- PALMA-SAN SAID THAT DUMB SHIT?!” Bakugo yelled as I was about to eat a piece of the baguette “do you have any idea the fuckery you just caused?!”

“To be fair” I put my bread down “I just asked the question, Mineta took it to the extreme with the bread politics. I don’t think bread is gay but if it was, I’m still going to eat it.”

Breakfast was calmer after that and I was sitting in the commons room to see the pictures of last night’s lame ass party. Iida came up to me “Hey um mind if I sit with you?”

“Hm? Oh sure go ahead.” I was distracted by the video of the mini fight that broke out after I left the party.

“How was the party?” he asked as he scanned my neck for any hickeys.

“Eh it was lame, Mirio tried to kiss me and it wasn’t fun because everyone doesn’t know how to have fun at one. I made a new friend and I came to the dorms at around 10 last night.”

“Wow it must’ve been lame if you came back so early” he tried to change the subject “so um now that you’re indefinitely free until school starts...do you want to plan some things with me?”

“You want to plan more than just that coffee?” I locked my phone and thought about it “what did you have in mind?”

His mind blanked, he didn’t think she’d pick up that he wanted to plan more things “Um like maybe spending Christmas with my family, going to the farmers market, going to a skating rink...”

“Woah slow down there Tenya” he was talking so quick I couldn’t pick up what he was saying “lets just set the day for the coffee!...how does Monday sound?”

“That sounds great! I guess we’ll talk more about other plans later.”

Before I could say anything, Midnight walks in “Oh Itati! Just the girl I was looking for” she was carrying a small box and a folder that I recognized as my official documents folder “I have a delivery and good news.”

“Thats great!” I jumped up “lets go to my room then.”

“Why can’t it be discussed out here?” asked Iida suspiciously.

“Don’t be nosey Tenya” scolded Midnight “you and your brother have a habit of being up in everyone’s personal business. And this is no exception, if you could please give us some privacy.”

“Sorry, but she’s right” I stood up “girl stuff, you wouldn’t understand.”

“I see” he didn’t understand what that meant “I’ll be going now.”

We go into my room and she hands me the package as she sits down “Ok so I got your feminine hygiene products and good news!”

“Alright, whats the news?”

“Since your program got the large donation, the whole intel dorm is going to be redone and will accommodate for all the incoming for A class. In addition, we’ve accelerated your switch over and you’ll be moving to the proper dorms on Feburary 7th, your birthday!”

My jaw dropped “Really?! Now I’m super excited!”

“Yes, now for the good but a bit boring news.” she takes out a few documents “heres a peek at your 2nd year schedule, as you can see there’s a lot of holes in it. You have options of taking up another non-general ed course, take up 2 free periods or do some under-study credit and assist Mic in the advanced english courses.”

I look over the schedule and I have homeroom, vehicles and mechanics, Math 2, Strategy and Communications and an empty space. “I see that I don’t come in for the hero course strategy and communications until 2nd term?”

“Oh since you took a 3rd year course this past school year and passed, you have a free pass for any other strategy based course work. That class is 1st term strategy and 2nd term hero to control center communications.”

“oh alright, then I can I do a combo of having that term 1 hole as my free period and the empty slot as understudy for Mic?”

“You got it” She took the document back to write my request “Alright that’s all for now, we’ll be releasing the official schedule the week before school starts. Stay warm and be safe Itati, you can call me anytime if you need anything.”

“Thank you Midnight” I hugged her “I’m so fortunate to have you as my adult reliance, I appreciate you.”

“Aww stop I’m going to cry” she said welling up with tears “it was the least I could do.”

She leaves and I get to putting away my products. I keep thinking about my move in and how things are going the way I want them to. It’s finally not a huge dumpster fire that I didn’t cause but have to deal with.

-End Chapter 20-

#bnha #mha #self insert au #not canon #chapter 20 #will update regularly #ask me anything

0 notes

goosegoblin · 7 years

Note

[1/2] Heeey Jess. You sometimes write about having ADHD (and autism if I'm correct) and I just, idk, need to tell smb else bc I'm having emotions. I'm a psych student so actually going to psychologist was difficult. But I struggle so much. I've come to really good guy, specialising in what I suspect is wrong and so far he is v understanding, I like his approach. We started assessment for ADHD.

[2/2] I’m going to have further test tomorrow, done by other psych bc mine simply doesn’t have it but nvm. So basically, I’m conflicted about the whole thing bc on one hand, maybe it’s nothing and I’m freaking out?? But then on the other, hey, this IS a problem, been my whole life, it impacts my daily life. If I’m not prying (you don’t have to answer if it’s too much, I understand), idk, how did you life change after a diagnosis? Better, different? Any tips? In general? Ta for listening!

Hey my friend! I know this feeling very well. Honestly, I went through the five stages of grief with my diagnosis, as weird as that sounds. Definitely took me a few months to hit acceptance.

First I felt denial- why am I doing this? I probably don’t have ADHD at all. I’m just lazy/ stupid/ not trying hard enough and I want to be special. I’m wasting everyone’s time. I’ve misled everyone.

Then: anger. What the fuck??? Why do I have ADHD? This is bullshit! Why can’t I be a normal person? What do you mean this is a lifelong thing? HOW DID THEY MISS THIS FOR 21 YEARS HOLY SHIT MY LIFE WOULD BE SO DIFFERENT IF THEY’D DIAGNOSED ME AT 8!!!

Then: depression. This sucks. This is my life. I can never be normal. I’m always going to struggle. I’m always going to be Odd. This is so unfair.

I had a bit of bargaining- a bit of ‘would I rather have depression or ADHD? would I rather have ADHD or anorexia? would I-’

Then: acceptance. I have ADHD. That is part of who I am, though it is not all I am. I know that my problems are real, and not just a character flaw. I don’t hate myself as much when things go wrong. This isn’t just me messing up, and I’m not the only one who feels this way.

Positives:

‘ADHD’ is a useful shorthand to communicate a lot of things I struggle with. It’s nice to be in communities of people with ADHD and find things to bond over. The sense of community and belonging has been really lovely (although online groups are hilarious- it’s just everyone writing 2000 word posts and nobody else reading them).

Stimulants have helped me a lot. My executive functioning is near zero without them. The side-effects aren’t super great, but I’ll take ‘em over sleeping until 4PM because I don’t have the motivation to get out of bed, or failing my driving test three times because my inattentive ass was genuinely dangerous on the roads.

I was able to get some special arrangements at uni, which helped a lot. At my uni you can’t leave an exam in the first or last thirty minutes, which my ADHD hates. I never ever stayed that last thirty minutes, even when I needed it, because being trapped in a room with nothing to do for half an hour sounds like hell. After my diagnosis I got extra time and took the exam in a smaller room with fewer distractions. As I got an extra 45 minutes, that meant that last thirty minutes of doom and dread was 45 minutes later, and I could have as much time as I needed without facing entrapment.

You learn workarounds. Imagine that you were lactose intolerant and never knew. People might be like ‘oh man, stomach troubles? Eat probiotic yoghurt!’, and if you did that it would make things worse. Getting a diagnosis helps you know what helps and what doesn’t. For example, for ADHD, group revision sessions are a horrible terrible idea- in which case, work alone. You might find silence is actually distracting- in which case, you need a white noise app or similar. You might find that fidgeting or doodling actually makes you take in more of what’s being said, not less. You learn that the general one-size-fits-all advice might not fit you, but there’s a lot of advice that’s tailored for your condition. Yay!

Downsides:

More awareness of stigma. People tend to think ADHD is what doctors call hyperactive white boys- they have no idea it affects adults, and that it manifests in so many different ways. People joking about buying my meds. The annoyance of having to get and take a controlled substance.

TIPS:

Find a community for people with ADHD, either online or IRL, and join it. I can’t stress this enough.

Check out Unfuck Your Habitat for a good guide on how to handle cleaning when both you and your house are an unorganised mess.

Download a website blocker/ productivity app. I like Habitica for positive encouragement, and I have a website blocker that lets me go ‘nuclear’ and block certain sites for 1 hour with no way to undo it. Sometimes I block the whole internet at night so I’ll actually go the fuck to bed.

I have a waterproof bluetooth speaker that I love. Showering, cleaning and cooking are so much easier with music.

Give yourself time. You’re gonna feel a lot of things about this diagnosis. It’ll mellow out eventually.

Get used to educating people. Find some ways to explain why what you’re talking about isn’t what they think you’re talking about. They hear ‘I can’t concentrate unless something is interesting’ and compare it to their own experience of ‘sure, it’s hard when it’s boring, but you have to try’. I explain it instead as ‘you know the end of a long day of lectures when your brain is fried and you can’t handle any more information at all? I get like that after five minutes’.

Do not listen to the opinions of people other than your doctor on your meds. ‘it’s legal meth!!11!’ eat my ass sandra

Message me any time, on or off anon. Best of luck with the rest of your life

#adhd #add

12 notes · View notes

spicynbachili1 · 5 years

Text

Best PC gaming deals: graphics cards, SSDs, games and more (November 2nd)

Remember, remember the 23rd of November, many savings, discounts and deals. I know of no reason why Black Friday season shouldn’t be a right old steal. That’s how the nursery rhyme goes, right? What’s that? It’s actually meant to be about fireworks and the 5th of November, describing the great gunpowder plot that failed to blow up the Houses of Parliament? You must have been misled as a child, dear reader, because everyone knows that November is about one holiday and one holiday only – the joyous and most beautiful deals jamboree, Black Friday.

There are just three weeks to go now before that fateful savings bonanza, but I know how much you all like a good deal in the here and now, too. Thus, your deals herald will provide. The Steam Halloween sale may be over, but there’s still plenty to be getting on with this week, including cheap Assassin’s Creed, lots more spooky game discounts and a whole lot of hardware. To the deals!

Game deals

Over at GamesPlanet, their latest publisher sale is all about Good Shepherd this week. Highlights include 85% off psychological survival horror show Pathologic Classic HD (pictured above), another 85% off 2D pixel platformer Atomik: RunGunJumpGun, 27% off action strategy fest Phantom Doctrine, and 15% off lovely squishy platformer Semblance to name just a few.

GamesPlanet are also doing a massive Assassin’s Creed sale, too, just in case you fancy playing every game in order (and have infinite free time) before you eagle-dive into Odyssey. Sadly, Odyssey itself isn’t part of the sale (Kassandra would sooner boot you off a cliff than be called ‘cheap’, probably), but you can get 52% off the pyramid-riddled Origins, 62% off London cockney caper Syndicate, 66% off French disastermasterpiece Unity… you get the idea.

Alternatively, if you somehow missed Halloween in all the chaos of clocks going backwards, forwards, who even knows-wards, then you’ll be pleased to hear Humble’s spooky deals are still going on for another three days. Even better, you can get Murderous Pursuits for FREE when you buy any game in the sale, which is most excellent.

Some highlights include the very good Oxenfree for 75% off, eerie, sci-fi horror ’em-up SOMA (also 75% off), alien strategy fest XCOM 2 (yep, you guessed it, it’s 75% off) and, er… Mount and Blade: Warband for a tasty 60% off. Not sure how that fits in with Halloween, but perhaps it’s got something to do with all those pointy sticks. Plus, if you haven’t played it yet, do yourself a favour and pick up Stories Untold. It’s 75% off – that’s £1.74 in the UK – and well worth your time.

If your favourite way of experiencing the world’s most popular sport is through a heck of a lot of spreadsheets rather than kicking virtual balls around, then Football Manager 2019 is currently 18% off over on Fanatical right now. That works out to just £31.15 in the UK, which is much cheaper than Steam’s £37.99.

If you also like experiencing the grueling reality of war not by shooting everything to smithereens but through the gritty, heartbreaking tales of civilians, then Fanatical are also doing This War of Mine‘s Anniversary edition for 77% off until 4pm GMT this afternoon (that’s 9am for PT peeps and midday ET).

UK deals:

There are graphics card deals aplenty this week, particularly if you like shopping at Ebuyer. These include the Asus ROG Strix GeForce GTX 1050Ti (4GB) for £161 (down from £185), the Zotac GeForce GTX 1060 Amp! Edition (6GB) for £240 (down from £282 and also comes with a free copy of Monster Hunter: World), plus the MSI GeForce GTX 1070Ti Gaming for £405 (down from £480, and comes with the same free Monster Hunter: World deal).

Over on the red corner, you have until tomorrow (November 3rd) to take advantage of AMD’s three free game deal, which bags you Assassin’s Creed Odyssey, Strange Brigade and Star Control: Origins for freemans. You’ve still got until the end of December to actually redeem said codes, but AMD graphics card sales after tomorrow won’t come with all those free games attached.

So, with that in mind, why not consider the MSI Radeon RX 570 Armor OC (8GB), which is currently just £159 from Overclockers UK (down from £210), or the MSI Radeon RX 580 Armor OC (8GB) for £220 from Ebuyer (down from £310). Or, if you prefer something a bit more powerful, you can save £50 on the PowerColor Radeon RX Vega 56 Red Dragon, which is £350 from Overclockers UK, or £60 on the Gigabyte Radeon RX Vega 64 Windforce OC, which is going for £440 from Overclockers UK.

Over in monitor town, Scan is doing a bunch of discounts on MSI gaming monitors, including the 24in, 1920×1080, curved 144Hz FreeSync screen Optix MAG24C (£179 down from £220, the 27in, 1920×1080, curved 144Hz FreeSync-enabled Optix MPG27C (£349, down from £399), and its 1440p cousin, the MSI Optix MPG27CQ (£400, down from £469). I was a big fan of the latter when I had it in for testing, so have a read of my MSI Optix MPG27CQ review to see what you’re getting.

Asus are also giving away free copies of Blops 4 with new monitors at the moment, making monitors like the 27in, 2560×1440, 144Hz FreeSync equipped Asus ROG MG279Q even better value than before. This currently going for just £429 over on Box, down from its usual price of £519.

Alternatively, ultrawide monitor lovers will be pleased to hear the 35in, 2560×1080, 144Hz Nvidia G-Sync Acer Predator Z35 is going for £845 from Box right now (down from £995, read our Acer Predator Z35 review for more info), while its 120Hz G-Sync rival, the AOC AGON AG352UCG6, can be had for £735 on Box (down from £793, read our AOC AGON AG352UCG review for more info)

Meanwhile, there are loads of SSDs going cheap as well at the moment, with Samsung ones also netting you some free Assassin’s Creed Odyssey on selected drives. The best deals I’ve seen are on the Samsung 970 Evo (500GB), which is down from £195 to £130 over at Ebuyer (read my Samsung 970 Evo review to see how it compares), and the 1TB model of the Samsung 860 Evo, which is going for £165, also from Ebuyer, down from £250.

At the other end of the SSD scale, you’ve also got the bargain-tastic Kingston A400 (480GB) going for £70 from Ebuyer (down from £98) and the WD Blue 3D NAND (250GB), which is now just £48 from Amazon (down from £68). To see how the latter stacks up against the competition, have a gander at my WD Blue 3D NAND review.

US deals:

If you’re in need of a new gaming monitor, you’re in luck, as not only do you have the aforementioned free Blops 4 dealio taking place on selected Asus monitors, but there are also some giant discounts to be had on Dell’s Alienware monitors right now. Starting with the former, you’ve got the 28in, 4K FreeSync-enabled Asus MG28UQ, which is $380 at Newegg (down from $450) and the 27in, 2560×1440, 165Hz Nvidia G-Sync screen, the Asus ROG Swift PG279Q, which is going for $692 from Newegg and is not to be confused with its 4K, G-Sync HDR cousin, the PG27UQ.

Then, over in the Dell camp, you’ve got until tonight to bag yourself $600 of the ultrawide, 3440×1440, 120Hz Nvidia G-Sync Alienware AW3418DW, which is currently going for $900 at Newegg (down from $1500). Plus, you can get an extra $100 off with promo code 24BFDLPC4. There are also big discounts to be had on the 25in, 1920×1080, 240Hz FreeSync monitor, the Alienware AW2518HF, which is down to $330 from Newegg from its usual $500.

As for graphics cards to make the most of these monster screens, this week’s best deals include the Gigabyte GeForce GTX 1050Ti, which has had its usual price of $259 slashed to just $171 over at Newegg, making it one of the cheapest GTX 1050Tis cards around right now. There’s also the EVGA GeForce GTX 1060 Gaming (6GB), which is $255 at Newegg right now (down from $290), and comes with a free copy of Monster Hunter: World.

Remember, AMD’s free game bundle also expires in the US tomorrow, so if you want to make the most of 1080p card offers like the Gigabyte Radeon RX 570, which is down to $160 at Newegg, then you better hop to it. The same goes for the barga-riffic 8GB MSI Radeon RX 580 which is down to just $244 at Newegg as well.

Samsung’s 860 Evo continues its aggressive discounts as well, with the 500GB model going for just $87 from Newegg (down from $110), while its NVMe sibling, the Samsung 970 Evo (250GB) can be had for just $88 from Newegg (down from $180). If your budget doesn’t stretch that far, then how about the 500GB WD Blue 3D NAND instead, which is now $54 at Amazon (down from $69).

That’s all for your weekly deals heralding today. As always, some of these deals may get snapped up pretty fast, so apologies if some of these have already gone by the time you click on them. Until next week, happy deals hunting.

from SpicyNBAChili.com http://spicymoviechili.spicynbachili.com/best-pc-gaming-deals-graphics-cards-ssds-games-and-more-november-2nd/

0 notes

rowanstories-blog · 7 years

Text

Ghost of Bayview

Jessica needed a plan. In exactly four months, three weeks, and two days, she would be attending the most important keystone event of her life so far: senior prom. She already had her attire and makeup options completely planned out and ready to be chosen based on her group's color scheme, thanks to some help from her more preppy friend Natalie. She even had a spreadsheet of every limo service in a ten mile radius, with information on prices, available seats, and customer ratings. As she went through her binder, re-organizing the pages in the bracelet subsection of the accessories tab, her eye glanced at a tab that she knew was woefully incomplete. No amount of personal research and sorting would help her fill it out.

She flipped over to the tab, labeled DATE. A single blank page met her eyes, taunting her.

Everyone else in her group already had boyfriends that they would take to prom. Some of them had been dating for an entire year and would basically die for each other, but most were very promising few-month relationships that were certain they'd make it to prom season. Even Kate, known for never dating a boy for longer than a few weeks, had a guy on the soccer team who already agreed to go with her if she didn't manage to find someone else in time. At Kate's relationship rate, she may have gone through every other boy in the school by prom. The thought made Jessica wince a bit.

"That binder isn't going to help you get a date," Natalie had commented when going over different kinds of nail polish after school. That's where Natalie was wrong.

Jessica grabbed her pen bag, sorted by line width and ink hue, and began making a table. With the help of the junior yearbook, she listed every boy in class, noting who was available and who was taken to the best of her ability. Every so often she'd make a quick call to one of the other girls to confirm or deny a rumor, but otherwise kept her plan to herself. In just a few short hours, almost half the time it took for her to figure out and sort her different dress style options, she had a list of possible guys.

She browsed the list, making additional marks to indicate her probability of getting a yes from them. Some of them would never agree; she wasn't athletic, or goth, or nerdy, so no one from those cliques would want to go with her. She did belong to the eco-volunteers and the brainiac groups, so someone from those areas would probably be much easier to get a yes from. Her friend group also opened a lot of possibilities if they gave her a good word in advance, though that would require letting some of them in on her search, which could backfire if she wasn't careful.

After careful consideration, she had her final list. None of them were particularly attractive or even interesting to her, but that wasn't the point. She didn't need a husband. However, she couldn't just ask a random guy from her list to the prom the day before either; that would look desperate, like she couldn't get a boyfriend at all and would take whoever just to save face. That wouldn't work, not at all. She needed to woo one of these boys so they could spend the four months, three weeks, and two days before prom dating, for all the school to see. Then, when the day came, they would both walk into prom, and everyone would whisper to each other about how good they looked together.

Tomorrow, Jessica planned, she would get more information on the guys in her final list. Hobbies, favorite food, any information that would help her approach them. She needed to woo them perfectly if they were going to be dating up to prom.

She closed her binder, running her fingers on the bedazzled cover. "This binder is so going to get me a date. Suck on that, Natalie."

---

Benjamin likes games. Russo likes EDM. Aden likes robots. Jessica noted each interest she could remember overhearing during her second lap around the cafeteria. Her friends tried to get a look at what she was writing so intensely, but gave up when Jessica threatened to write on their faces instead.

As she prepared for her third lap through the tables, someone caught her eye.

He meandered through the cafeteria, looking at all of the tables. He didn't have a tray, and didn't look to be searching for a seat. He just wandered, moving his gaze around the crowd. For a moment, his eyes met Jessica's. They stayed for a moment, then looked away as he continued walking through the tables.

Jessica's eyes didn't look away. She stared at him, waiting for a name to come to her, but none did. She filtered through the yearbook pictures in her mind, but she still couldn't come up with a match.

"Jess is staring at a boy!"

The exclamation shocked Jessica back to the table, where all of her friends stared at her with wide grins.

"Is that your crush?"

"Are you going to talk to him?"

"Do we need to get him over here?"

Jessica put her hands out. "No, no! I just.. who is he? I don't remember seeing him in the yearbook."

Kate laughed to herself. "Silly, that's.." Her voice trailed off. "Wait, who is that?"

"I think I've seen him in my math class," Natalie said with a lot of hesitation. "But I'm not sure. Could he be a new student?"

"This late in the year?"

"It's possible."

"Well," Kate shrugged, leaning into Jessica. "Guess it's up to Jessy to find out for us!"

"Yeah, go talk to him!"

"Go lay on some moves, girl!"

Jessica didn't try to hide her eye roll. She much preferred to be pushing someone else to chase a guy, not being pushed into chasing herself. Still, she somehow had managed to make it the past three years with only passing comments on her single status. It was only a matter of time before the group found a suitable target to push her towards. "I'll ask his name," she decided, "but that's all." She needed it for her binder, after all.

The girls cheered as Jessica got up, slipping her binder into her bag and out of the group's view. With a deep breath, she started toward where she last saw the boy. As she walked, she made sure to keep her ears open for more information on the others in her list.

She made two full laps around, but she couldn't find the new boy at all. She even took a risk and initiated contact with Aden, asking if he had seen someone of his description pass by. He replied that he hadn't seen someone of that description in the school ever.

Before she could make another lap to search, the school bell rang. Everyone got up at once and began gathering their things from the table for their next class. Jessica cursed in her head, but censored it as she whispered under her breath. She had a lot of information on the other guys, but now she knew there was someone she had absolutely no intel on. She knew that the empty box on her table would bug her immensely, but she would have to wait until after school to do anything about it.

---

Three days went by, and Jessica still had absolutely no information on the new boy, nicknamed by her group as The Cafeteria Ghost, or just Ghost when they texted. After the first day of Jessica not getting any information, the others all started asking around about Ghost. A few people had seen him in the cafeteria that day, and some of the sports players noticed him at recent games. Come claimed they had classes with him, but said he only came to class once in a blue moon, and that his name wasn't on the class roster. Even teachers didn't know who she was trying to describe when she asked about Ghost.

"Maybe he's one of those older people who comes back to high school to get the special diploma," Natalie theorized. "He may just pop in every so often to get work or take a test."

"Maybe he's homeschooled but hates it," Kate thought out loud. "So he sometimes escapes to get a true high school experience, but his crazy parents always find out and trap him again."

None of the theories satisfied Jessica. She wrote them all down in her binder anyway, along with a name, time, and statement from everyone she spoke to, in a new tab labeled GHOST.

"I'll find out who you are," she grumbled as she made a crude drawing of his likeness on the final page of the GHOST section. "And I'll do it fast, because you're using up my valuable prom date hunting time."

---

She didn't have to work fast to find Ghost, because the next day, he came to her.

On her walk home from school, she noticed him in full view, leaning on a fence by the sidewalk. He looked right at her as she approached, playing with a lollipop in his mouth.

"There you are, girl from the cafeteria. Jessica, right?"

She paused. How did he get her name before she could find out his? The idea bugged her.

"I'll take that as a yes," he laughed.

"And you are?"

"James."

"James what?"

"Just James."

She frowned. "You have a last name. Everyone does."

He shrugged. "So you're a student over at Bayview? What year?"

"Yeah, I'm a senior."

"That makes you, what, 16?"

"17," she corrected. "Are you a student? No one at Bayview knows you."

"Maybe I go somewhere else."

"Then why were you at Bayview?"

"Well," he said as he pulled out the lollipop and stepped closer to her, "maybe you could find that out over coffee?"

She opened her mouth to tell him off, but stopped. No boy had shown such clear interest in her before. Plus, she could check off the "find out about Ghost" and the "get a prom date" boxes off of her to-do with one event if she did this right. He seemed to be avoiding her questions out of flirtatiousness rather than malice, as a way of keeping her interested in uncovering his mystery. If she was being completely honest with herself, it was working. "Okay," she agreed after a minute's hesitation.

"Great," Ghost, now named James, replied, immediately turning away. "Cafe Nero, 4pm tomorrow. See ya there."

Jessica pulled out her phone, ready to tell her group chat of friends about what she learned about Ghost, but stopped herself. She didn't actually learn anything except his name, and they would latch onto the whole date thing and blow it way out of proportion. Best to wait until after the date and give all the updates at once.

---

Jessica sat down front and center in homeroom exactly two minutes before the start of class bell went off. She liked the routine of being in her spot early enough to organize her desk, but not so early that she felt restless waiting for the day to begin.

She heard a thump in the seat next to her. She looked over to see James Donahue, kicking his feet up on the desk.

"James," she scolded, "how many times do I have to tell you not to do that, especially in the front row!"

"Okay, Mom," James chuckled, moving his feet but still slouching back against his chair. "I guess I have to be on my best behavior before our special date, huh?"

She rolled her eyes with a smile. "Just try not to be too much of a slob."

"I guess I can do that. But if I do make a mess, promise me you won't try to organize the crumbs by size and color."

The teacher walked in, throwing her teaching manual on the front desk with a thud. "Okay, class, take your seats and I'll take attendance. Aaron."

"Here."

The list went on, each name getting a call of 'here' from somewhere behind Jessica. She loved watching the clock tick by as her teacher called out each name, creating a melody that only she could appreciate. The clock ticked to 8:15:43, and she prepared for her part of the tune.

"James."

"Here," James and Jessica said in unison.

The teacher gave a pointed look to Jessica. "Don't jump the gun, sweetie. You're next. Jessica."

"H-here," she stammered. She looked back at the clock, confused. Her name was always called at 8:15:43. Perhaps the teacher was talking a bit slower today? She had counted each exchange for the entire year prior, singing along in her head: Aaron, Beth, Bobby, Cameron, Ethan, Ida, then Jessica. She paused, and reviewed the list in her head. She definitely had it memorized that way, with Jessica after Ida, but where was James? Of course his name came before hers. She re-sang the list in her head, trying to put James in, but it felt unfamiliar, like it didn't belong.

"You okay?" James tapped her shoulder, looking at her with concern.

"Yeah," she lied.

"Try not to get too embarrassed. By the time we're having coffee later, you'll have totally forgotten about this."

The lesson started, and Jessica did her best to not think about the list of names chiming out to the ticking of the clock.

---

Three months went by after Jessica's coffee date with James, and she couldn't be happier. Despite knowing each other for years, she felt like she really only discovered him that day, as they talked for hours in the shop and on the nearby walking path. She didn't tell him about her original scheme to just get a prom date, of course. After the first few weeks, she realized that she did really like him, prom or not. Since that day she hadn't pulled out her binder at all, focusing instead on spending every afternoon in his company.

He was very good at sweeping her off her feet when they were together; he was intelligent, worldly, and quite the romantic. He never made dick or fart jokes like the other boys her age, and knew how to handle his beer at the basement parties. She didn't know a seventeen year old guy could be so mature, and if she did know, she never would have thought he'd show any interest in her. And yet here she was, the girlfriend of the most mature guy in school, experiencing so many firsts with him. He claimed to be a first-timer for many things they did together too, but it felt to good to her for just pure talent. She told him she didn't mind if he had experience before, but he never opened up about that. It bothered her a bit, but she thought it best not to disrupt such a good relationship over one minor thing.

The flyers for prom started appearing in the halls, and Jessica felt the prom fever return to her. She knew she had everything planned perfectly from all those months ago, but now it felt so much more real. James especially helped with that; knowing who she'd be walking through the door with made it all the more exciting.

She wanted to point out the fliers to James and talk to him about his prom desires, but he hadn't been in school for days. He wasn't even answering his phone. After the first day she didn't feel any worry, just a bit annoyed that her boyfriend couldn't be bothered to return a text. After day three, however, she began to actually worry that something may be wrong.

On her walk home from school that day, she kept staring at her text conversation with him, waiting for the 'typing' bubble to pop up and let her know everything was okay.

"Jessica!"

She jolted and turned around, seeing James rushing over to her. He grabbed her and pulled her in for a quick kiss.

"I am so sorry baby, I know you must've been so worried."

"Wh-where have you been?" She wasn't sure whether to be relieved he was okay, or pissed off that he wasn't in a hospital somewhere without cell reception.

"I've been sick."

"So sick you couldn't return a text?"

"That's what I'm so sorry for." He sighed, staring down at the ground. "I had to get rid of my phone. It got.. hacked, or something."

"Hacked?"

"Yeah, like people were monitoring it. It's happened before, remember?"

"That's why you don't have social media, right?"

"Yeah, exactly. Well this time they got my phone, so I had to break it."

Jessica stared at him while he continued to glance around the ground. "Why're these hackers trying to break into your stuff? What could a high school kid have that they want?"

"Well, I'm not sure it's that simple. But it's okay now, the phone thing. I'll make sure they don't try anything again. In the meantime, we'll still see each other in school, when I'm better. Okay baby?" He looked up at her, grinning his small reserved grin.

She couldn't help but smile back. "Okay, thanks for finding me to tell me. Get your rest."

"Thanks," he said with a kiss to her cheek.

As he left, Jessica felt her heart flutter. She didn't like these computer people targeting her boyfriend, but he'd figure it out. He was so good with computers, unlike her. He'd probably hack them right back and make them leave him alone for good.

---

After the sixth day of not seeing James outside of the sidewalk talk, Jessica couldn't keep all of her prom excitement to herself anymore. She called up Natalie, ready to plan her dress and color scheme, with or without James.

"Ugh, there are so many options," Jessica complained on the call. "And there's no way to sort them on this website! How am I supposed to compare?"

"What about the binder?" Natalie asked.

Jessica sat up in attention. Her binder! She hadn't touched it in months, but it had all the information she needed about the big day. After a short search of her room, she had it in her hands, bedazzled cover and all. "You're so right, thanks Nat. I have everything nice and sorted in here!"

The two went through each tab one at a time, starting from the dress and going into makeup, shoes, accessories, and even which limo seemed like the best choice based on their current plans.

"Okay, I think that settles our choice on drink selection for the pre-party," Natalie said with some typing on her end. "What section is next?"

Jessica checked the tabs and laughed. "My date tab, looks like. I don't need this one anymore; James is going with me for sure."

"See, I told you that the binder wouldn't get you a date. What's the one after that?"

Jessica's eyes flicked over to the next tab. She paused.

"Jess?" Natalie asked the silence.

"Sorry, I... I'm not sure..." Jessica stared at the tab. GHOST. She knew she made this tab at some point, but she couldn't recall when. "Do you remember what GHOST means?"

"It sounds kinda familiar, but I don't know. What's in it?"

Jessica flipped open the tab to find dozens of notes: names, time stamps, statements, a drawn map with red circles on some of the rooms. All of the statements stated different claims about someone named Ghost, short for The Cafeteria Ghost. From what she could gather, he was a figure she and her friends saw in the cafeteria that almost no one recognized from the school. She relayed her readings to Natalie as she skimmed the pages.

"I... I feel like I remember that, but it's all so foggy. I remember talking to Bobby about someone like that, but... no, I couldn't have, there was no soccer that day. Did I see him some other time?" Natalie droned off, thinking to herself on the other end of the line.

Jessica kept reading the notes, becoming more and more confused. She remembered asking people about someone, but who was she trying to find information about?

She flipped to the last page, and her heart skipped a beat. She was no artist, but the likeness was clear. She looked down at the page, and the drawing of James stared back at her.

"Ah well, I guess it's not all that important if we never followed up on it, huh?" Natalie laughed to herself.

"I..." Jessica swallowed hard. "I need to call you back." Without waiting for a reply, she hung up the phone and threw it onto the bed.

Her memories fought with each other. She remembered seeing the boy in the cafeteria, having an investigation with her friends about his identity. But now, looking back on it, she knew the Ghost was James, someone she knew for years. But why did no one know about him in some of her memories? She thought back on her times with James. She saw his face in classes, and in crowds, but upon serious thinking, she couldn't remember a single specific event they shared together. She couldn't even remember him asking her out. She remembered the Ghost asking her out, appearing on her walk home and not giving her any information until she agreed to go out for coffee. But why would she have needed to go out for info on someone she had known for years? The more she thought about it, the more her brain pounded with contradictions.

Shaking her head violently, as if shaking her thoughts straight, she stood up from the bed and grabbed the binder. She couldn't figure it out on her own. She only knew one thing for sure: all of her memories otherwise felt fine and orderly, but those with James/Ghost fought each other the more she thought of them. Therefore, she reasoned, the only way to organize them was to see James and show him the binder. She needed to confront him about... well, she wasn't sure exactly what she would confront him about exactly, but she felt the need to do it all the same.

---

Jessica followed the GPS directions down the streets, driving slower than the speed limit. Even if she had more experience as a driver, the stress and confusion she felt tearing her up inside would have affected her driving all the same, she reasoned to herself as cars started lining up behind her. Adding her new driver status into the mix just ensured that she had to drive slow, in order to avoid making any huge mistakes. It also didn't help that she hated driving anyway; there was no way to go back and fix an error like one would on a test or in a binder. No edit, no undo. Real life didn't have those features, though she wished it did. Things would be so much easier that way.

Her GPS told her to stop in front of a house, and she obeyed. The house was three stories high, larger than any other houses in the area. Her one story townhouse would be completely overshadowed by the tower before her. As she unbuckled herself, she found herself glaring at the house. James never told her his family was loaded. In fact, he never told her about his family at all. She only had his address from a package he sent her once; she noticed his name on the return address, and made a note about it for later.

Binder in hand, she took a deep breath in, and rang the doorbell.

An older man, probably in his fifties, answered the door, opening it only a crack. Their eyes met, and, based on their eyes being almost identical, she presumed this man to be James's father.

"Mr. Donahue, I'm here to see James. Is he here?"

She heard a shuffle from beyond the door. "James, who is that there?"

"It's no one!" the old man barked back, then turned to Jessica. "You need to leave, now."

Jessica paused. James didn't tell her that he was a Junior, either. "Please, sir, can you find your son, or tell me where he is? It's urgent."

"I have no son, now leave!" He went to shut the door, but instead it swung open.

James Senior and Jessica both instinctively stepped away from the door, now in the hand of a man dressed in a white suit. Beyond him, Jessica saw more men in suits, all sitting in the visible living room.

The man motioned to James Senior, and he reluctantly stepped further out of the way. "What is your name, sweetie?"

"Jessica," she replied curtly. "I'm looking for James."

The suited man and James Senior exchanged a glance. James Senior winced, sweating visibly. "I presume James is someone your age. A friend?"

"My boyfriend, actually."

The suited man's eyes widened for a moment, but quickly returned to normal as he smiled. "Well, isn't that interesting."

"Look," Jessica snapped at the man, "is James here or not? I need to talk to him."

"Don't worry, he's here." The man looked back at the group. They nodded, and quickly left the room. "He's upstairs, second door on the right." He stepped out of the way, gesturing to the nearby stairway.

Jessica nodded and walked past the suited man, who watched her with a smile, and James Senior, who avoided her gaze and kept fidgeting with his hands, sweating visibly.

She walked up the stairs and down the hall. Opening the second door on the right, she saw only darkness. She stepped inside, hands tapping the walls for a light.

The door shut behind her.

---

Jessica heard the door shut, and swung around just in time to see the light vanish from the room. She reached for the handle, but her hands grabbed at air. She swung around, looking desperately for a source of light, but only saw darkness. She pulled out her phone and turned on its flashlight, but its beam didn't make contact with anything, even the floor.

Suddenly, a light turned on to reveal a single table below it. On the side closest to her was a chair, and on the other was the suited man and James Senior.

"Come, sit," the suited man said.

She didn't move.

"Please, sit. You will end up doing it either way, but I want it to be of your own will."

The words send a chill through her body. Did this man plan to threaten her somehow? She decided sitting would be better than escalating the situation, and did so.

"I just want to ask you some things. Can you tell me your name, and about yourself?"

She hesitated, but remembered the man's previous statement. "I'm Jessica Tolares, a senior at Bayview."

"How old are you, Jessica?"

"17."

"Damn, not even legal!" A voice rang out from the darkness. Jessica jumped up and looked around for a source, but all she could see was in the small circle of light around her. She couldn't even determine a direction; the voice seemed to come from all around her at once.

"Quiet, please!" the suited man called out into the darkness. He motioned for Jessica to sit, and she did. "Why did you come here today, Jessica?"

"My boyfriend lives here. Or I think he does. It was the return address on a package he sent me once."

James Senior started swearing under his breath.

The suited man chuckled at James Senior. "So tell me more about your boyfriend. You said you needed to talk to him, right?"

Jessica thought about her options. She didn't know if she should tell the suited man about her conflicting memory, about Ghost. She still didn't understand what was going on, but it was clear that they were looking for answers, and James Senior really didn't like it. "His name is James. We've been dating three months. I'm here to talk to him about prom."

"What does this dating entail, exactly? Have you been... intimate?"

Jessica looked away, face getting red.

"Oh my God, he's a code-fucker!" a voice in the darkness shouted.

"And with a seventeen year old!" another chimed in.

The darkness buzzed with voices and chatter, all overlapping into an incoherent static. Jessica held her hands up to her ears to try and stop the voices, but they echoed all the same, as though the sound were coming from inside her own head.

"All of you, quiet!" the suited man shouted again. Both he and James Senior were also visibly bothered by the sudden volume. It took longer than the previous time, but the voices died down. "What did James look like, dear?"

She stammered a bit as she regained her thoughts after the static. As she formed words to make her description, she fiddled with the binder in her hands, grounding herself by rubbing the jewels on the cover.

"What is that?" the suited man asked, interrupting her.

She looked down at it. "Just my plans for prom," she lied.

"May we see?"

"Well..."

"Let me correct myself. Please show us. Of your own will, mind."

Her body went cold again. 'Of your own will.' She saw no choice but to hand it over and hope he didn't investigate the tabs too thoroughly.

Her hopes went unanswered. "What is this GHOST section you have here? Doesn't look anything like prom."

She avoided his gaze.

"And this drawing here, this is of the Ghost character that no one recognized? Is it also of your boyfriend?"

Her heart skipped a beat. She looked up at him, starting to shake. "How did you..."

"Do you also have conflicting memories, dear? Like, for instance, remembering never knowing this guy, and then suddenly having known him for years?"

Before Jessica could answer, James Senior stood up with a sudden jolt. "Oh, come on! This is pointless. You're really going to believe that over me?" He gestured to Jessica with his use of 'that,' practically spitting it. "It doesn't actually know things! This could all be a bug, or a plant! I've been working here for eighteen years, and you're going to boot me over a bug?"

The suited man calmly closed the binder. "Jessica, is what I just said earlier true? Is James the Ghost? Are your memories confused about the matter?"

She couldn't speak, not after James Senior's outburst. She nodded.

"My final question, and then we'll be done." He gestured to the side. "Who do you believe this man is, and why?"

She looked over at James Senior, who stared down at her with a face contorted in rage. The sight made her heart stop for a moment. "He must be James's dad. They look a lot alike."

The voiced began shouting again, all variations of "holy shit," "I knew it," and "he really is a code-fucker."

The suited man smiled. "Thank you, Jessica. That will be all."

The light vanished, and the voices went with it. Jessica was left alone in the darkness for several seconds, until she too blacked out.

---

Jessica awoke on a hard surface in the middle of the darkness. As she pushed herself up from the ground, a single light appeared above her, revealing a table with two seats. Next to it stood a man in a white suit. At first she thought him to be the suited man from before, but he looked much older; his hair was gray instead of black, and his skin sagged from gravity and time.

"Hello again, Jessica," he said, voice so similar to the suited man's, but with a raspier breath. "How long has it been for you?"

She got up, shaking herself off. Her body felt refreshed, as though waking from a nap. "I don't know," she answered honestly.

"I see. Can you sit again?"

She did.

"I am going to do something never before done. I am going to try and explain what happened to you, and let you decide how you feel about it. I also expect you to tell me that, of course."

She didn't reply. She still couldn't make sense of the encounter with the young suited man.

"Do you remember this man?" The old suited man opened a laptop on the table, showing a picture of James Senior.

"That's James Senior, my boyfriend's dad. He was here before."

"Actually," he corrected, "this is James. The one you were dating, I mean. There's no Senior and Junior about it."

She stared at the screen. James Senior's eyes stared back, just like James's would during all their time together. She didn't know how to respond, so she didn't.

"I know this is a shock to you, and you're probably confused as to how you were with a fifty year old who appeared seventeen. He... altered your mind, so to speak. Put in wrong memories, made himself appear different."

"You mean, a drug?" She couldn't think of any other option.

"Sure, a drug." He didn't sound at all convincing, but went with that explanation anyway. "So your memories are all messed up and fighting each other because he messed with them."

No, that didn't make sense. "What about everyone else?"

The old suited man frowned. "He messed with perception and memory to get with you," he repeated, ignoring her question. "And, as you can see, he's clearly not seventeen when truly viewed. He abused the project, and used you for his own perverted pleasures, and-"

"Project?"

The old suited man stopped talking immediately. He took a deep sigh. "I'm going to cut to the chase here. I want to know how you feel about this. About what you think should happen to this man, legally speaking. And about whatever else you're thinking, really. We are building a case against him, and we already have your interview from before, but this will greatly help us out."

She took a long time before answering, forming her words exactly as she meant them. "You're clearly not telling me something. I don't believe he used a drug. He used something else, and I think it's whatever project you're working on."

"Ignore that," the old suited man growled, "and just tell me how you feel about this."

Suddenly, memories of James flooded her mind. Clips of their time together played in her mind without her control, forcing her to watch these situations she lived through again, except this time her loving, cute, mature for his age boyfriend was replaced with an angry old stranger, looking at her with James's eyes. As the thoughts came in, they became more real, as if happening before her eyes. She tried to shut her eyes, to cover her ears, to think of anything else, but nothing worked. Her three months with him turned into three months with the stranger. All of the fun, the dates, the first times, everything became replaced with an old man, grinning at her with a sick look of satisfaction.

She felt herself start crying, and as suddenly as they came, the memories stopped. The lit table returned, and the old suited man looked at her with a fallen face.

"I see," he said. "I'm sorry you had to experience that, but we needed to know how you would react."

"Well how the hell would you react?" she snapped, trying to look strong despite her tears.

The suited old man sat back in the chair, looking away in thought. "The same, I suppose. Well, that's all I needed. You will be returning home very soon, Jessica, don't you worry."

The light shut off, and the chair beneath Jessica went with it. She fell backwards, landing on the ground with a harsh impact. Before she could call out to the darkness, she heard the voices.

"Very interesting, it's all so convincing. I see why he got so wrapped up in all this."

"Shame he had to get so attached to one designed to be so young, though. We could have made real progress. I guess it's good he did this instead of real kids, though."

"Still, we can't let this get out. It'll be labeled as a world for pedophiles, and we'd lose all of our funding."

"I have a plan to deal with him, don't worry."

"And what about the one he messed with?"

"I think it'll be fine to do some edits and re-introduce into the current environment. Easier than revising the time history."

The voices cut out, and Jessica went with them.

---

Finally, the day had come. Senior prom, the keystone day in any teenager's life. Jessica brushed off some of the hairs on her dress as she left her room, greeting all her friends and their significant others.

"Jessy!" Kate yelled, giving her a huge hug. "Aw, I'm sorry you didn't find a date."

"It's okay," she sighed. "The time just flew by. Somehow I managed to make it these past few months without working on it at all."

Natalie walked over and gave her a hug too. "That's okay, we're all each other's dates for tonight."

Jessica's mom came into the room, phone in hand. "Jess, sweetie, didn't you have a list of all the limo services we could call?"

"I don't think so," Jessica said after some thought. "That would have been really good to do, though."

"Okay, I can just look it up online." Her mom turned to leave, but turned back around. "Now girls, before you take your pictures, I want all of you to remember to have an amazing time tonight. You only get one shot at senior prom, no re-dos!"

Jessica laughed to herself. She'd love it if she had an undo or edit button whenever something got messed up. Sadly, she didn't. After all, this was real life.

#horror #short story #writing #sci-fi

2 notes · View notes

briefbouquetcreatorlove-blog · 6 years

Text

Englewood Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 80150

"Englewood Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 80150

Englewood Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 80150

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeautoinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr