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hopelesslyhopefulforyou · 1 year

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Haven't posted in a while. We're doing well! Baby boy is sleeping through the night more often than not. His teething has been really rough on him, but he's a champ. He cut a tooth yesterday, the 2nd will likely poke through this weekend.

He's so close to crawling!! So giggly and happy. We had a wonderful first Christmas as a family - we got him a ball pit and he loves it.

I go back to work on the 17th and my MIL will be watching him at my house while hubby works from home. I'm lucky, I know that. R will be 7 months on the 20th but I am still so emotional about my return to work.

I plan to pump now that I'm going back to work, and keep him on breast milk until he's a year old. I'm on summer break a few days before his 1st bday (planning has already begun! Outer space themed.)

We are not ready for another baby, but talking timelines now, which is new. We have 6 frozen embryos left and want to try naturally for a while since we had unexplained infertility (when we are ready. With breastfeeding i still don't have my cycle back but know my body and have taken a few opks when I've noticed ewcm and I've ovulated two times that i know of since having Ry.) But we will give ourselves a timestamp to do another transfer if we aren't pregnant by a certain point. I'm not ready. With my high risk pregnancy last time, the vasa previa, potentially losing him if our mfm hadn't caught it, and his nicu stay...I have a lot more healing even once my body is ready again. My doctor said 12 to 18 months we could try for another. I'm coming around to the idea but still too traumatized right now. So we are enjoying our boy for now! I want to give him the sole attention he deserves before we have another too. Looking forward to this spring and summer, warmer weather, playing in our backyard and just enjoying every second with him. We think maybe when he's closer to 2 we will try again but are OK with whatever happens as long as it's after the 12 month mark.

Thankful we made it to the other side of the infertility nightmare. It's everything I ever dreamed.

#rainbow baby #ivf success #success after infertility #success after loss #vasa previa #nicu warrior

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artofwarforlife · 1 year

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Episode 16: Warrior Mindset with Kim Pinske

After a week of technical difficulties, my interview with All-American volleyball player, weightlifting & Brazilian Jiujitsu champion, USAFA's first female strength & conditioning coach, and Army MP Captain Kim Pinske is live! Check it out! So inspiring!

In this third edition of the “Warrior Mindset Unplugged” I am pleased to share an interview with my good friend, All-American volleyball player, competitive weight lifter, Brazilian Jiujitsu champion, Army Military Police Captain, and the first female strength and conditioning coach at the United States Air Force Academy. With wit and humor, authenticity and vulnerability, she shares life lessons…

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#Army #art of war #Art of War for Life #Brazilian Jiujitsu #David Boyd #empathy #infertility #IVF #Kim Pinske #military police #mindset #motivation #MP #Sun Tzu #Sunzi #volleyball #warrior #weight lifting #winning

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farsight-the-char · 1 year

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Predicting 10th edition line-updates:

Imperial Guard: Maybe some Scion stuff? Armageddon and Catachan troop squads, maybe command squads too, and maybe a new APC/IVF thing?

Mostly just guessing here.

....

Eldar: Rest of the plastic aspect warriors, new Wraiths? Refreshes to Dark Eldar, replacing the resin. Maybe Exodites? Maybe some new Harley stuff. I think we might get new Bikes?

Going off Rumours and what was Lacking in the last update.

.......

Tau: Replacments for our remaining resin (so Krootox, Vespid, and the like), probably new Kroot, Melee suits. More Auxillery stuff.

Going off the fact Kill-Team is a “testing ground” for new lines, and I think the Farstalkers was a “test line” for future Kroot looks.

Farsight getting the hype train and a divergent design from standard Crisis stuff leads me to belive he is the prototype for a new Suit line.

....

Ork: Proper new Boyz kit, more “Shooty” dudes, probably a new Warboss (multipart/options). Not sure here.

#brainstorming #warhammer #imperial guard #armageddon steel legion #catachan jungle fighters #tau empire #craftworld eldar #dark eldar #exodite eldar #40k #orks #kroot #10th edition stuff

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sublimeobservationarcade · 2 months

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The Christian March To Power In America

It seemingly began with groups of Christians claiming that they were under attack from a progressive liberal America. They wanted the right to discriminate against individuals on the basis of their sexual preference. All these human rights coming into law, often at the behest of the United Nations and their treaties, were, apparently, threatening the basis of fundamental religious instruction in schools and churches. Now, we are seeing the Christian march to power in America. They have their immoral leader Donald J Trump promising them a new land with authoritarian laws amended to fit their way of life.

The American Invention Of A Blue Eyed Jesus

America has never been and was never intended to be a theocracy. All those God fearing folk who flooded the new world, many of them slavers, who were happy to see the Negros work their land under the lash, did not form the majority opinion. Christianity is an invention, of course, for white America Jesus is depicted with blue eyes and pale skin. All those famous paintings of the bible stories commissioned by the European church illustrated them in white skinned terms. The Semitic truth was long lost; and the new settlers embraced their saviour along racial lines.

The Cross & The Gun Overcoming Savage Unbelievers

The Christian Nationalists, many of them Evangelicals, are more at home with Old Testament Christianity. Fierce prophets and righteous warriors slaying Philistines and other bad guys often depicted with darker skins. America to them is colonial settlers fighting for their new home against the Indians. Christians were told by their leaders that they had the God given right to take the land of the savages – who were non-believers in their eyes. The gun gave them the means to kill all those who resisted their establishment of the promised land.

The New Crusade To Retake America Now, there is a new battle underway with the proliferation of sinners encroaching upon the righteous in their promised land. A white America has been tainted by too much immigration poisoning the blood of the nation. Those previously on the fringes of society, the coloured, the afflicted, and the damned are making too much noise about their rights in a modern America. It is time to rise up and retake the promised land. The Christian march to power has begun and it leads to Washington. Trump is their loud mouthed, white supremacist bulwark. He is the man who makes it alright to speak the truth. The truth being misogynist, racist, and non-woke in all its profane glory. Trump is in the vanguard for a return to family values. Those family values include the belittling of women, the sexual abuse of children, and all those things that have always gone on in families. Christians Want To End American Sexual Freedom Christians in this camp want to see an end to the sexual freedoms of Americans. They have already, through SCOTUS and the stacking of the bench with conservative Christian justices, begun to take away the individual rights of women. Their reproductive rights have been returned to the state and the concerns of powerful men. IVF in Alabama, that beacon of civil rights in the south, has come under the wrathful glare of God fearing men on their Supreme Court. Marriage equality will be next, as the Christians put the sword to gay rights and the LGBTQIA community. Contraception and access to it will be their righteous weapon in cutting down promiscuity and sexual freedoms for Americans.

The View Of Trump America 2.0 Theocracies are invariably accompanied by corruption, as those in power seek to benefit materially from their exalted status. Authoritarianism loves cronyism and nepotism. A Trump presidency will see his family and friends, and those in thrall to his fiefdom, filling the seats at the big table. Trump supporters will be hoping that he will endower their Christmas stockings with plenty of goodies. Many of them, however, will be disappointed, as pleasing everybody has never been the Trump way. The slashing of the public service and the dismantling of institutions like the FBI and DOJ will see a renaissance of criminality and organised crime in the USA. Trump respects power, like Putin in Russia, and mob bosses and their foot soldiers will flourish. Much more state sponsored violence will make its way onto the streets of American cities. Imagine Jaredd Kushner as Secretary of State. Stephen Miller running Homeland Security. The blood chills. “The new House speaker, Mike Johnson, knows how he will rule: according to his Bible. When asked on Fox News how he would make public policy, he replied: “Well, go pick up a Bible off your shelf and read it. That’s my worldview.” But it’s taking time for the full significance of that statement to sink in. Johnson is in fact a believer in scriptural originalism, the view that the Bible is the truth and the sole legitimate source for public policy.” (Marci A Hamilton, The Guardian, Nov 2023)

Conclusions & Considerations Will this new Christian crusade in America turn out to be overreach and start a big backlash against Christian Nationalism? The Christian march to power in America could see the demise of this unscientific belief system. Especially if it begins to mess with people’s freedoms. Believing in Bronze Age stuff about almighty God and his concern with what you do in the privacy of your own bedroom may start to rankle more Americans if they wield more secular power. The taint of Trump and his cronies may eventually stain more than a few altar cloths. Fundamentally this comes down to how and whether, we as humanity can become more inclusive and accept diversity within our populations. The Trump GOP campaign is predicated on reactionary forces and the politics of grievance. Americans are accustomed to blaming others for their discontent. Politicians have led them by their nose to finger point blame at those who appear to be different. Those same politicians represent big business, which is ripping off ordinary Americans. Most of America is heavily segregated in terms of where they live and where their children go to school. This makes it much easier to demonise ‘the other’ as cause of all your problems. The Republican Party has been mining identity politics, cultural issues, and the anti-woke backlash for years. Fox News is their amplifier in the right wing echo chamber. Robert Sudha Hamilton ©WordsForWeb

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#Alabama #America #authoritariansim #ChristianNationalism #GOP #IVF #reproductiverights #Trump #USA

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9m-fertility · 6 months

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Courage and grace in the battle against breast cancer. Here's to the warriors who keep on fighting and inspiring us every day.

#Breast Cancer Awareness #fertility

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crown-ov-horns · 6 months

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Warning: NSFW, mentions of gore

I did not need any more Warrior Nun ideas/WIPs, but here we are. I recently thought of an AU where Adriel is hermaphroditic. He's still well, a he, it doesn't impact his appearance nor identity, but he does have a functioning set of female sexual organs. He devoured his twin sister in the womb, of course he did. He wanted to be the only child.

Oh, and keep in mind, it's one AU, not a general headcanon of mine. Now I also need a tag for it or something, but, the idea is only a number for now.

His lady friends (Lilith, Areala, or Ava) can pick whether they're more in the mood for a sword, or a sheath, if you know what I mean. He'd let his girfriends have his pussy whenever, as long as he gets to fuck them in return. I don't think Areala would care too much, she's straight. Maybe, she'd touch him there simply out of curiosity. I don't know about Lilith, but Ava would definitely like it.

It's probably another way of mine to knock him up, honestly. Mind you, there's two WIPs containing it when he's biologically male only. In this one, he'd probably convince Areala to help him catch a tarask, cut off it's testicles, and impregnate himself with a hybrid. His mom would not be happy (mainly because it's insane, but she'd take her grandchild when Adriel get imprisoned). Oh, and of course Adriel would still knock up Areala the usual way. That doesn't change about him, either. Later, he'd convince Ava to do the same thing. No, he can't just do IVF if he wants to carry like a normal person.

Why would Adriel want to impregnate himself in any version? Well, because he wants to be God (create life/new being), and because he likes attention.

I guess I have to create an OC for the child of Adreala carried by Adriel now. I think she'll be named Ishtar, to stay with Mesopothamian names. With Ava, it would just be Selene.

In Age of Angels, Adriel is away when Ava gives birth (that's what I'm planning, anyway). He has to kill people who tried to hurt her (I don't want to spoil too much). The OCS bring her to safety, and she has the baby under their watch, cared for by Reya. Then, he returns. I'm thinking this could have the reverse, Ava tells the OCS to protect Adriel, goes off to kill whoever threatened them both, and he goes into labor. He could have a placental abruption to raise the stakes... If the scene somewhat reminds you of Medici S3, it's what inspired me.

Yes, I wonder what's wrong with me too, and why do I think of so many different ways of having my favorite characters almost bleed to death.

Why would Adriel want to impregnate himself in any version? Well, because he wants to be God, and because he likes attention.

I think Ava would also be reincarnated Areala in this. So, there's more drama. With bitter, angry Ishtar, and Balthazar.

Lilith/Ishtar?.. Before Selene, they're the only Tarask hybrids in existence. Or maybe, I should stick with Lilith/Therion (Adriel's older sister, whom he didn't get to devour, and who's her pairing in Age of Angels).

P.S. - I'm avoiding the term "intersex" on purpose. Adriel would think it's stupid. In his realm, the word "hermaphrodite" has no negative connotation.

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sriramakrishnahospital · 8 months

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Who needs an IVF Procedure?

Transforming Dreams into Reality!👶

For those whose paths to parenthood have been met with challenges, IVF is the ray of hope that lights the way. From fertility warriors and diverse families to genetic pioneers, IVF opens doors to dreams that transcend obstacles.🏥👨‍⚕️

For consultation>> https://www.sriramakrishnahospital.com/

#ivf #ivftreatment #ivfspecialist #hospital #health #hospitalincoimbatore #healthcare #SNRsons #sriramakrishnahospital #coimbatore #multispecialityhospital #healthandwellness #medical

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infoziviaivf · 8 months

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How Smoking Kills Your Fertility?

Including Smoking habits into your lifestyle on a regular basis

Presumably benign habits may trigger repercussions that compromise the very nature of a person's existence in the quiet corners of one's life. Smoking, which is frequently associated with momentary relaxation or social fellowship, conceals a ferocious adversary which could demolish ambitions and hope. The following piece goes deeply into the disturbing facts of how smoking infiltrates your fertility journey cruelly, like a quiet phantom, providing a vivid representation of its annihilation

A Danger to Your Fertility

The importance of your conception journey cannot be stressed as you embark on the path to starting a family. This quest, however, encounters a tough foe in the shroud of cigarette smoke.

Smoking is not merely a harmful habit; it's a hazardous opponent who saps your reproductive capacity. Toxins in cigarettes, similar to venom, attack both men and women, undermining the fundamental foundations of fertility. The shadow of smoking may create a maintaining darkness over those seeking a ray of hope in the IVF center in Jaipur.

The Male Influence

A Weakening Seed Men, too, are at a crossroads in their sexually active path, and smoking serves as a silent saboteur.

Cigarette toxins have a deleterious influence on sperm quality and quantity.

The DNA of sperm, which acts as the structure for life, becomes contaminated, increasing the risk of miscarriage and genetic problems.

Smoking saps the energy of these little warriors, rendering them unsuited to begin the laborious journey to fertilization.

Smoking may be the fatal blow that destroys reproductive dreams in the realm of IVF Treatment in Jaipur, where every sperm counts.

Female Repercussions

A Weak Womb For women, the womb is a haven of life, a receptacle of nourishment.

However, smoking turns this heaven into a battleground.

Toxins in cigarettes interfere with the biological process at many different points.

Motherhood fantasies fade as the womb, once brimming with possibility, becomes a barren wasteland of despair.

The reception areas of IVF center in Jaipur reverberate with the quiet laments among people contending with the adverse consequences of smoking that impact their female reproductive journey.

A Heartbreaking Struggle: A Misplaced Concept In the context of smoking, the devastating struggle of infertility becomes even more painful.Couples who want to have babies see their hopes go away.

During IVF treatment in Jaipur, glimpses of optimism are interspersed by the agonizing realization that smoking has cast a shadow so black that even science fails to eradicate it.

The thrill of conceiving diminishes as smoking blurs the borders that unite love and becoming mothers.

The Threat to Unborn Life

Another assault on new life even if the brave couple is successful in their reproductive efforts, the tragedy does not end there. Smoking continues to haunt, even in the realm of pregnancy. Smoking increases the risk of miscarriage, early birth, and developmental issues in the unborn child. A vacation that should be full of excitement and joy has turned into a conflict in which the unborn kid bears the consequences of decisions made before their birth. The hallways of Jaipur's IVF facilities vibrate with a collective scream to keep smoking out of the hands of the unborn.

Reclaiming Back Your Fertility A Triumphant Journey Through Difficulties

The Renewal Path Light in the Darkness,There are times when the road to redemption feels like an ascent up the steepest mountains. A glimmer of hope emerges among the shadows of difficulties - a path to regeneration that beckons, alerting us that the dawn is ready to burst even in the darkest hours. This is the story of breaking free from the grip of smoking, an uphill fight that provides mending, rejuvenation, and a rebuilt connection to the goals you value.

Decisions are the threads that bind our fate together in the wondrous fabric of life. Smoking, an apparently innocuous act, has the ability to shatter dreams, dull laughter, and extinguish the spark of new life. Remember that your legacy will touch the lives of generations to come as you navigate the difficult conditions of reproduction. IVF centers in Jaipur are places of hope, yet they cannot undo the damage caused by smoking. The road to establishing a family is a delicate one that demands attention, cultivation, and protection from the clutches of smoking. Your dreams are valuable, your love is precious, and the life you wish to live deserves a smoke-free atmosphere.

#ivf treatment in jaipur #best ivf hospital in jaipur #Best IVF Centre in Jaipur #IVF Centre in Jaipur #IVF Clinic in Jaipur #IVF Hospital in Jaipur #Top IVF Centre in Jaipur #Top IVF Treatment Clinic in Jaipur #Top IVF Clinic in Jaipur #Top IVF Hospital in Jaipur

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shantabahadurshakya-2023 · 9 months

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'Fertility warriors': How one family's IVF journey led to embryo adoptio...

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gratitudegainsclub · 1 year

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Wed Feb 8 2023

- grateful for being inspired by women’s health REI lecturer today! She was so well spoken and knowledgeable and such a good teacher overall. Also the hysteroscope simulation was SOOO cool to play with and cool to get a feeling for the actual surgical procedure. Wish APPs could get more involved but alas. Overall though it’s incredible how fast the medical field has progressed to IVF research and egg harvesting. It’s definitely going to revolutionize the women’s reproductive world!

- grateful for Jenn sharing her vulnerable side. My heart really broke hearing about her struggles she’s been going through but I’m grateful she told me about it. I’m grateful she’s still here. I’m grateful she let me offer to give her a ride and help in the small way I can. I’m grateful we can play tennis and serve as a distraction that’s fun and physically active and outdoors for vitamin D. I’m grateful we’re both getting better at tennis and enjoying it so much and each others company. I pray pray pray she makes it through this difficult time of her life

- grateful for getting 10.5 hours of sleep last night! My body needed it and I slept soooo deeply I felt like I lived 7 different lives through all of my vivid dreams.

- grateful for chatgpt being a new and upcoming tool for the future! I hope AI can be implemented ethically and responsibly for its benefits in our societies. I used it for my psych exam since it was open book lmao

- grateful for hot dinners, basking in the sunlight like a cat, biking in clear blue skies, and heated blankets

- grateful for evening Nordstrom rack runs with Andy and helping him choose new shoes that he looks better in hehe. But he appreciates my support and picking styles out for him and for that I am geateful!

- grateful for getting to learn how to take better care of myself and be prettier and Andy supporting me and telling me I’m so pretty too!

- GRATEFUL FOR THE WARRIORS and klay day <3

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morninglazziness · 2 years

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Female Founders: Cheryl Dowling On How "The IVF Warrior- Empower, Educate, and Support Women Who Are Struggling With Infertility Issues"

Female Founders: Cheryl Dowling On How “The IVF Warrior- Empower, Educate, and Support Women Who Are Struggling With Infertility Issues”

As a part of the Morning Lazziness series about empowering women who are encouraging and doing incredible things with their ideas in society, I had the pleasure of interviewing Cheryl Dowling. Cheryl Dowling is a Certified Counselor, advocate, and founder of The IVF Warrior, a fertility health and wellness platform connecting people from all over the world who are navigating different paths to…

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trishtorres1030 · 2 years

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Nanay, Mama, Inay, Mommy, Ina, Mamang, Mumshie, Inahan, Iloy, Inang, Mie, Ma, Nana, Mader, Mudra, Momskii, Ima, Nanang, Umi, Ermat.

Happy Mother’s Day

Wishing a beautiful day to all the incredible Mother’s out there! We hope your day is filled with so much joy and love.

To all mothers, bereaved mothers, miscarriage mothers, those yearning to be mothers, ivf warriors, those who have lost mothers, we are thinking of you & wish you a very gentle day. We appreciate your existence and we wish you a long and happy life 👩‍🍼

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dailyaudiobiblechronological · 2 years

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5/1/2022 DAB Chronological Transcription

2 Samuel 5:1-10, 1 Chronicles 11-12

Welcome to Daily Audio Bible Chronological. I am Jill, and it's all brand new around here. It's a brand new month. It's a brand new week. It's a new new translation. And the mercies are new for the taking. Today is May the first, and I believe we're in the season of the year where it's all going to fly right on by at this point. So hold on, buckle in and try to stay present. Otherwise, we will miss some really important moments in life. And this is also about the time that school is getting done. We're entering into summer and warm weather and people fall away from listening to their favorite podcasts sometimes. So this might be a good reminder to fight to stay in it because if we don't, it can just get ripped right out of our hands. So fighting and staying present in this day. Here we are centering ourselves around the word of God. Today we're reading Second Samuel chapter 5 verses 1 through 10. And then we're going to switch over to First Chronicles and read chapters 11 and 12. We're starting a brand new translation this week and we're reading the Modern English version. Two, Samuel, chapter five.

Prayer:

Father, we thank you for your word. We thank you for this week. Thank you for the next week. Thank you for being present here with us. We give every day of this next week to you. We don't have to pray that to remind you to be present with us. We pray that to remind ourselves to consecrate this week, every day of the next week going forward, giving it to you, allowing you to do what it is that you want to in us, through us, among us. Use us. And we can't pray that unless we are willing to be used to have your way. And may we remain conscientious of every thought, every word and every deed as we move forward. And we pray this now in the name of the Father and the Son of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Announcements:

It's going to be a great week. I'm Jill. We'll turn the page together tomorrow. Until then, love one another.

Community Prayer Line:

Hey, DABC community, my name is Melissa. I've been listening for about a year and this is the first time that I've listened to the Old Testament in its entirety. This has been very interesting experience for me. I just wanted to call in today to pray for a lady that I just heard on today's podcast. She called in on Good Friday. I didn't catch her name, but she said she got married. What someone called later in life has been going through the journey of trying to have a baby. And your story resonated with me because I've been in the very same position a few years ago. So I just wanted to encourage you to keep praying and keep seeking God's will in this journey. So God I just pray for this woman and her husband and you know, their needs and their wants and their journey and you know how it will end. And I pray that you would give them a clear yes and a clear no for their prayers. And sometimes all we hear is a clear no and that is still your will. And I pray that you would give them peace about whatever answers that they do find. Thank you.

Good morning, family. It's Inge from Denmark. Today is April 22. And I just want to pray for a woman who called in today. You didn't leave your name, but it's your first year going through chronological, going through the Bible that way, and you got married a little bit late in life and now you and your husband are trying to conceive and that has proven to be difficult. And I just want to say I was in your shoes starting IVF and ICSI, and it was so hard for me to pray your will, Lord, not mine, because the wish was so strong. So it is amazing to hear your faith and your trust in God and that his will may be done, not yours. So I want you to know that I'm going to be praying for you. I'm going to be lifting you up, that God may grant you what he sees fit for you and that he will keep you trusting in him through it all. I want to thank this community for all of these prayer warriors, Kingdom Seeker Daniel, for all of your encouragement that you share so generously with all of us. Victoria Soldier, Pam His Ransom Soul, and many others. I just want to thank you that you take the time and thank you that you call in so often, praying over whatever the Lord puts on your heart. We wouldn't be the same without you. I just want to say I remember faith-filled, Mama, Moses, mom and Marla from Albuquerque and Trusting in Him. I carry you on my sleeve of my heart as well. Just so grateful. Thank you, God, for this community.

Good morning, DABC fam. This is Joel out here in New Mexico. Firstly, I just want to say thank you to everyone who prayed for my sister in law, Brandy. She was able to get a second opinion and it looks like it is a cyst in her or next to her brain, it seems. And she doesn't need surgery right now, which is great. They're just going to monitor it and make sure it doesn't grow any larger. And it seems that this is not what is causing her migraines. So if you could just be continuing.

Hi, DABC. Family, this is Pamela, Refined by the Fire from Pennsylvania. And I'm calling for our sweet, sweet sister, Lady of Victory. I heard her voice today. I'm a couple of days behind, but I heard her message and it was so beautiful to hear her voice again and to hear her explaining all the heavy things she's been going through. So, my dear, dear sister, Lady of Victory, lov, love. We love you, and we come together and agree in prayer that God will heal the terrible wounds that you have received this past year. You did say this is a season, and you're right, it's a tough season. I'm glad you're hanging in there. And you just take one day at a time, every step with our Lord, and he'll bring you through this. I'm looking forward to you getting back to calling every day while you're on your walk and greeting all of us with your beautiful words of wisdom. We are so thankful that you're back. God bless you, Lady of Victory.

Good morning, DABC. It's Renee from Florida. Hey, I decided to come on because Jill the Psalms. I love the Psalms. And first, I just want to give praise and honor and glory to God because your commentary is so true. We come and we ask and ask for things, and I feel like I do that too often myself. I love that you are so real and honest about your emotions and your feelings because I'm an emotional creature, too. Emotional, creative person is probably what I am, and I really need help. When you read the verse, let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleading to you, o Lord. I always feel like God is working on me the most there because in my life, that is what I've had the most problems with my words. And sometimes I just say the most wrong things come out of my mouth and I always ask God to help me with that. My reactions, my responses. And why am I such an emotional creature and cry and kind of like David, I'm always crying out. Anyways, I wanted to get a praise report as well for my sister D. She's quit smoking, praise God. I mean, she's going through a lot with having throat cancer, but she's on her way to quitting smoking and she will get chemo and radiation. I want to say a quick prayer for the lady who just got married. And she was so cute because she said, stop me, Lord, if I don't need IVF or whatever that is. And I was thinking the exact same thing. Stop her, Lord. She doesn't have to go through that and let her have a child. He can do that. And I pray that he does for you. She didn't leave her name, but I pray for you to have a child. Just want to thank you and praise you, Lord, and give you the glory today. Amen.

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theivfdiaries · 2 years

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OUR POST-BIRTH & NICU EXPERIENCE

Things quickly went downhill from there. S wasn’t crying at first for a few seconds, but then he started to. They put him on my chest and for a few seconds everything seemed good, but when I looked at his face it was turning whitish-purple and his eyes started to roll back in his head. The nurse came over and started rubbing him. She told me it seemed like he wasn’t getting enough oxygen and they needed to get his blood flowing. Meanwhile, I delivered the placenta with a couple extra pushes, and I was able to cut the cord.

S was still crying but only a small amount, and his color still looked really off. My midwife and the nurses started to look concerned, and they turned to each other and just said “we need to get peds in here now.” I was in a daze as they took my son from my arms, just minutes after he was born, and brought him into the other room to examine him. I could still see him from the other room, and my husband was able to be with him, but of course I couldn’t get up to see what was going on. I kept yelling out to them “Is he ok? Is he going to be ok?” Everyone kept saying “yes,” but they were still unable to get his color to seem normal.

At this point, I looked down and saw a huge pool of blood that my midwife was collecting with gauze. I asked her if this was a normal amount of blood to lose, and she just took a deep breath and said “no.” I asked if I was going to need a transfusion and if I was going to be ok, and she just said calmly: “I’m working on it.” I was shaking and starting to feel extremely cold and feverish. They took my temperature and I had spiked a 100.2 degree fever. They brought S back to me and I got to hold him for a few more minutes. I was so relieved and happy for those few minutes, but then the nurse looked at him again and remarked that his color looked off again. Before I knew it, the doctors were back and they were taking him from me again and bringing him to the nursery for further examination.

As my midwife continued to work to stop my hemorrhaging, my husband (who had gone with S to the nursery) called me to tell me that they were running a chest X-ray on him, and that he had definitely inhaled a large amount of fluid and was struggling to breathe on his own. They were rushing him up to the NICU to get him on oxygen. None of this felt real, I couldn’t believe this was happening, that my son was in such danger and that I was unable to get up and be there for him or to do anything about it. I had never felt so helpless in my life.

Luckily, my midwife was able to stop the bleeding with some extra pitocin and other medication to help me continue contracting. My nurse came back and talked to me about what to expect with my son. She validated everything I was feeling but assured me that inhaling fluid was a very common and very resolvable problem, and that she was confident he would be ok, but that it was going to be scary. She told me to have my husband send me pictures and to video chat with me when he could, so that I could see S hooked up to all the tubes and machines. She told me it was going to be terrifying to see him like that, and I was going to need to break down and cry about it, but that I had to make sure to do that while I was away from him, so that by the time I got there to see him I could be the calming presence that he needed me to be.

After about an hour, my midwife and doula tried to help me up to get me into a wheelchair to bring me to my postpartum recovery room, but when I sat up I started to feel faint and my hearing started to go out. They laid me back down quickly and talked to me to try to keep me awake, but told me there was a chance I was going to pass out and promised that I would be ok if I did. Luckily I stayed conscious, but I still couldn’t even sit up without almost passing out, so they had to bring me to my recovery room on a stretcher. My fever had also gone up to 100.4 and I couldn’t stop shivering, so I took some Tylenol to level it out.

Hours passed that I lied there helplessly in that room. My doula stayed until 10am when visiting hours began, and then my mom came and traded places with her so I wouldn’t be alone. My mom brought me some food which helped me feel a little less faint, but I still couldn’t even get up to go to the bathroom when the nurses came in to try to help me get there (I made it to the toilet with their help, but then my hearing started to go again and they said my lips turned blue, so they had to rush me back to bed).

My husband Facetimed me so that I was able to see S and predictably, I broke down crying when I saw him hooked up to all the tubes. I virtually met S’s NICU nurse, who told me that the second I came on the phone and S heard my voice, his vitals immediately and drastically improved. It was then that I realized just how important it was for me to get up to the NICU, not just because I wanted to see my son, but because I knew he needed me and I had to be there for him.

I continued trying to get out of bed, but I still couldn’t stand or walk without feeling faint. But after a few hours, I was able to at least sit on my own, and my husband was able to coordinate with the NICU and the maternity nurses to send someone with a wheelchair to bring me up to S!

Seeing my son lying there helplessly on the little warmer bed, hooked up to tubes and wires, was the most horrible thing. But I followed my nurse’s advice and stayed calm, because I knew he needed me to be. I sat there for hours, holding his little hand and talking to him so he’d know I was there. I was able to hold him that evening for about 2 hours, which had both me and S (based on his vitals) feeling much calmer and more relaxed. His NICU nurse said clearly my and my husband’s presence and touch was such a comfort to him and was speeding up his recovery, so she encouraged us to be there and to hold him as much as possible.

The next few days were the longest of my life. Being in the maternity wing alone while I heard other people’s babies crying through the wall, and saw other people bringing home their babies every time I went out into the hallway, was so beyond upsetting. All I wanted was for my son to be safe and healthy and to be able to have him with me. I spent every second I could up in the NICU, entirely neglecting my own care and annoying all of my nurses, but I didn’t even care. The only thing that mattered to me was S and his recovery.

The next day was a nightmare of having to hook him up to a feeding tube, and having the doctors tell us that his issue “could” be more than just fluid in his lungs (it could be meconium too, or any number of other things causing a difficulty breathing). They kept saying they were hoping to take him off the oxygen tube later, but when they tried, they found out he wasn’t ready.

The following morning, I woke up feeling depressed, discouraged, and terrified. My husband had been up in the NICU since 4am, and I woke up around 7am. He came downstairs to get me in the wheelchair. By the time we got back upstairs, S’s nurse was standing over him, telling us to stay quiet and to be very calm… because she had just disconnected his oxygen! She told us that the next 3 or 4 hours were critical. If he did well without it over that time, they’d be able to keep him off of it!

Miraculously, he did well! By the time the doctor came around for morning rounds, she said she didn’t see any reason why he couldn’t go home the following day! They did another X-ray as well, and saw that the fluid in his lungs was mostly gone. That day I was also able to bottle-feed him for the first time (though I had always wanted to exclusively breastfeed, my milk hadn’t come in yet and he needed the protein to recover quicker, so we had to give him formula) and do skin to skin.

That night, I was discharged from the hospital and we had to go home without our baby. This was the moment we had been dreading for days. But just before we left, we met with the NICU doctor who told us she had already signed the papers to have him discharged in the morning! They transferred him from the warmer into a regular bassinet, and said they were going to take out his feeding tube and his IV in a few hours. We went home that night with a sense of relief, hoping to get one last good night of sleep without a baby in the house, but ended up sleeping horribly because we were so anxious that something was going to happen overnight that would result in us not being able to take him home, and also excited to pick him up in the morning. I woke up at about 5am to pump (I had been waking up every 3-4 hours to pump to try to get my milk to come in!) and called his night nurse to see how he was doing. She said he was absolutely perfect and content, mostly just sleeping, and that made me feel a little better.

We woke up bright and early at 7am to be back at the hospital at the start of visiting hours at 8am! Standing in the elevator, I could feel myself shaking with excitement and I couldn’t stop smiling. I turned to my husband and told him I had never been so happy in my entire life.

Administrative delays resulted in us not being discharged until a little after noon, but we spent the morning taking turns holding S and just being so grateful that he was coming home with us. When we got released, we brought him down to the car and honestly felt like we were doing something wrong by taking him with us!

On the way home, we stopped by to surprise my mom, brother, and grandma with S. They were all so excited to finally meet him and relieved that he was safe and home! I sat on the couch that afternoon with my son sleeping on my lap. It was totally surreal to finally have my baby home with me, and I was just full of such endless gratitude.

#Baby #nicu #ivf #ivf baby #birth story #nicu warrior #NICU baby #ivf warrior #ivf success

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rainbowinthemaking · 3 years

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Maybe 2022 Will Be Our Year

After an excruciating wait, we finally had our follow-up with Dr. Elliot. He agrees with our thoughts that endometriosis might be a concern with my unexplained infertility (as it is with ~30% of unexplained infertility cases) and the pain/discomfort I have been experiencing.

Dr. Elliot has suggested that we hold off on IVF Round 2 until I have a laparoscopy. My need is seen as somewhat urgent so I will be closer to the top of the list to get this done. He is hopeful I can have my surgery booked for November/December, as long as this 4th wave of COVID does not put a pause on elective surgeries. If it does, he worries it might be more than 6 months before we get this done.

Until my laparoscopic surgery I will be continuing with Letrozole cycles so we can at least feel like we are doing something. After my laparoscopy we will move on to our final round of IVF with a much more aggressive protocol. We hope to end up with enough embryos for me to try a few transfers and/or proceed with finding a surrogate.

On the adoption front… we will be having our virtual Initial Interview and Application Meeting early October. However, that is as far as the process will go for us until their next Education Seminar at the end of January. In 2022 our perspective parent file will be open but we will still be at the mercy of being chosen. A process that can take 1-10 years.

I won’t lie and say this doesn’t all suck. When we started fertility treatment a year ago I thought by now we would definitely at least have a baby on the way or even another miscarriage. Right now I am feeling further away from the goal than ever. Luckily, we are working with an agency that allows you to pursue fertility treatments while you wait for a match. So we don’t yet have to make a choice on which road to go down, we can at least go down all of them simultaneously.

2020 and 2021 might not have brought us a baby, but here’s hoping 2022 does.

#laparoscopy #laparoscopic surgery #ivf #implanation failure #ttc with ivf #ttc with infertility #ttc after loss #ttc after mc #ttc community #ivf warrior #letrozole #adoption #surrogacy #waiting for my rainbow

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