#and me assigning the person WAS my one action. just wish it was clearer in some aspects in wording its finality. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

asmo-ds · 3 years

Note

Ok so you made a list on they guys toxic traits. How would they react if the MC just snaped one day and broke out into sob because of what they did and say to them and the MC calls them out on it pointed put how Diavolo doesn't do or say the shit they do and hes full blood demon unlike them all in a croaked voice from crying so hard

React to MC Calling Them Out on Their Toxicity

Obey Me Brothers x MC angst HCs

Warnings: Yelling, toxic relationships, breakdowns, violence, Mammon being the guardian he was assigned to be :)

Summary: When MC finally breaks down and calls them out on their toxic behavior towards the human the boys finally realize just how different human emotions are from the creatures in hell they’ve grown so accustomed to.

I’m putting the contents of the original post this ask referred to under each of the characters to make it clearer for those who have not seen it

i know Lucifer is hot sexy big sex dominant professional daddy master man BUT please remember he shows his love via punishment and cruelty towards his family

- Lucifer was in the middle of hanging a crying Mammon upside down when it happened.

- “He’s in pain Lucifer, you should let him down! There are better ways to handle this,” MC had suggested only to be met with a low growl followed by:

- “Stay out of this, human, you are here to attend RAD and nothing else. Do not butt into our personal business.”

- He could practically feel MC’s upset expression as he continued to tie the knots around Mammon’s body

- “I’m a human, correct,” MC starts and he’s startled by their cold voice, “but what makes me human is my inability to stand by while someone I know is in so much pain!”

- Lucifer is a bit taken back by their boldness and is in his demon form holding them up by the throat in seconds.

- “Who the Hell do you think you are?!” He snarled, tightening his grip and pushing their struggling body against the wall harshly, causing their head to bounce off the wall with a loud thump, blood slowly beginning to trickle from the sight of the impact

- He could barely hear Mammon’s frantic cries for him to let go of the human as his adrenaline rushed, unable to believe that the human had actually spoken to him like that,

- He was suddenly ripped away from MC, thrown across the room and he looked up to see Diavolo had come

- “I had some paperwork I wanted to give you but instead walked in on you taking advantage of your strength over someone smaller than you, you’re pathetic,” Diavolo snarled, disgusted by Lucifer’s actions

- MC wailed and threw themselves against Diavolo, him tightly embracing them and trying to soothe them

- “Y-y-you’re the Lord of Demons and yet,” they sniffled and hiccupped into Diavolo’s chest as he continued to glare at Lucifer, who could only watch on in despair as he realized what he had done, “and yet you a-are so mu-uch kinder than them, th-thank you Diavolo!”

- “Wait, MC! I’m sorry!” Lucifer began to stand before realizing Mammon had managed to escape and was now holding him down, preventing him form moving toward the trembling human.

- “Lucifer... I don’t want to see you ever again!” MC had cried as Diavolo and them left the house.

- After MC was brought to the demon lord’s castle he received word from Barbatos that he had been suspended from his duties until further notice per the request of Diavolo.

- Barbatos also collected MC’s stuff, moving it to the Demon Lord’s castle where they would spend the rest of the year

- Lucifer couldn’t bring himself to leave his room, afraid of his brothers’ judgmental looks, he refused to see how much he had hurt the family and the relationship with the human he’d done so much to care for in just a matter of thirty seconds.

- Lucifer never forgives himself for hurting MC, but he acts like he was in the right for the sake of his ego.

- But he really missed MC and was angry with himself for letting them go so easily and for not just accepting that maybe they were right and he could change for them

- Everyone notices a decrease in the cruelty he showed towards his brothers

- how did a human manage to stir up these feelings within him?

I know Mammon is an adorable tsundere with a chaotic streak BUT please remember he also insults MC in order to keep up his own self image of being a “tough demon” even if he loves MC underneath the mask

- Mammon had been on his way back from getting scolded for stealing from Lucifer’s wallet once again, when he ran into MC

- “Mammon! What’s wrong? Are you Okay?!” He hastily wiped the tears from his face, MC really cares about me... a blush rises to his cheeks at that thought

- “Nothin’ is wrong, mind yer business,” he shoves past them

- “but you’re clearly hurting, Mammon let me help!”

- “I don’t need help from a stupid human,” he says, not turning to look at them due to his still red cheeks as he continued to be flustered by their concern for him

- “Stupid human....” he heard MC say quietly back to themselves, his heart sinking as he realized he said it so harshly

- “Hold on-MC- I didn-” he starts but is frozen in shock as he sees the human glaring at the floor with tears streaming down their cheeks, biting their lips to keep sobs trapped inside themselves. “MC, hey liste-” He reaches out to touch their shoulder but they jerk away turning from him.

- “Not even the demon who is meant to be the cruelest of them all calls me names for wanting to help him,” their voice trembled and his heart broke, “I just wanted to help... why do you insist on insulting me?”

- MC ran away from him, leaving the house, passing Asmo and Satan as they left.

- Satan chased after MC as Asmodeus walked up to Mammon, slapping him across the face harshly, “why can’t you just be honest with them for once?! Don’t you realize how badly you’ve been hurting them because you refuse to be nice to stroke your own ‘bad boy’ ego?!”

- Mammon stared at the floor, tears rolling down his cheeks silently, “I-I didn’t mean to hurt them,”

- “But you did. Not to mention you never even apologize for it,” Asmodeus walks away, leaving Mammon to stand alone, shamefully hanging his head as he fell to his knees.

- The one person who ever cared about him and he did nothing but insult them and yet still expected them to love him? What a douchebag he was...

- Guess he was nothing but a greedy scumbag

i know Levi is a cute blushy otaku recluse that we all want to top BUT he also gets jealous very easily which leads to him often getting violent or guilt tripping MC by insulting himself until they feel guilty and stay with him to make him feel better despite their own wishes

- Leviathan had jus ordered a new game titled “I just landed in Hell, seven hot demon lords are my roommates and I’m trying really hard not to fuck them”

- He rushed towards MC’s room, desperate for them to play with him

- He walked in without knocking and saw MC cuddled up with Mammon and Beel, watching some movie that none of them seemed to actually pay attention to as they just horsed around.

- “Hey, MC! I just got a new game, come on let’s go play it!” he tried not to let his jealousy show.

- “Ah, maybe later Levi, I’m hanging out with Beel and Mammon right now!” MC smiles kindly, to which he grows a bit sad

- “I get it... who would want to hangout with a yucky otaku like me anyway...” he lowers his head pouting

- “Levi, just give me a few minutes to finish the movie!” MC says, still trying to be kind and patient

- “No you don’t have to... I’m just going to go play alone like the loser I am...”

- “DON’T” MC stands up, Beel and Mammon watching as MC walks up to Levi, thinking that the human was going to go with him and play

- Levi smiles thinking the same thing and gets ready to leave, but instead MC comes to him and glares at him, making his heart sink

- “You do NOT get to guilt trip me like that,” MC growls, “I told you I need a minute, I never said any of that stuff and I KNOW you were saying that stuff just to get me to come with you instead of staying here,” Levi blushes as MC calls him out, his heart beating rapidly with nerves as he realizes just how mad MC was at him

- MC pushes him out of their room, slamming the door and he hears them mumbling some angry stuff to the other two brothers behind the door

- Ashamed of himself he goes back to his room and locks himself there for a few weeks, kind of waiting for MC to come check on him and apologize, but then he realizes that is exactly why they are mad at him, so he decides to try and get his shit together

- But his anxiety gets in the way and he decides MC would be better off without him and he tries to avoid them no matter how much he craves their attention

i know Satan is an intelligent man who is trying his best to keep his anger in check at all times BUT if you are in a relationship where someone is getting mad at you constantly despite their efforts pls look out for yourself and let yourself be selfish and avoid the person no matter how bad it may hurt them because your own happiness should come first

- After a fight with Lucifer, Satan had gone to his room to blow off some steam

- He was storming around and throwing things and throwing a temper tantrum

- MC came to check on him and they knocked politely, calling his name and asking if they could come in

- Despite using their manners and being as respectful as possible; their interruption of his tantrum pissed him the hell off

- He swung the door open and pushed them down, eyeing them like a normal demon would; nothing but an innocent soul to munch on

- MC tried to escape but he caught their ankle, and dangled them like a rag doll as his claws sunk into the limb he held

- He could see their mouth moving and tears streaming down their face but he couldn’t process the words they were wailing

- He only stopped when Mammon punched him harshly, causing him to drop the human and go flying through the nearest wall, which happened to be Asmodeus’s, who was infuriated by the destruction of his room, but his focus immediately turned to Mammon and the trembling human he held

- Satan could barely hear or see much of anything anymore as Mammon’s punch had knocked him nearly out-cold

- Later when his senses came back he went to MC to apologize

- When he walked in they screamed and cowered in the corner.

- “MC, I won’t hurt you I promise-”

- “You always say that! You promised to never hurt me, Satan! All I wanted was to see if you wanted anything to help you calm down but you decided that was reason enough to try and eat my soul. For fuck’s sake, Diavolo is the Demon Lord and he isn’t half as cruel and manipulative as you are!” He watched the human tremble and cry their response out

- The loud noises had once again caught the attention of the humans guardian for their time in the Devildom

- Mammon walked in and grabbed Satan by the collar, dragging him out the door and slamming it behind him

- Satan sat against the wall and could hear how much pain MC was in as they cried to Mammon and he wanted nothing more than to run in there and take his place but he knew he had royally fucked up

- Scared of his own anger, he decided to not leave his room unless he was attending RAD, family meals, or the Library, because he was so afraid of making the human he had loved afraid and he didn’t want them to feel so much pain just by seeing him

i know Asmodeus is a cute feminine boy with a love for self care and pampering and fashion BUT he always be littles others for not being as good or pretty as him and is super gossipy

- MC had come to school after a sleepover with Asmo, where things got deep and emotional and MC’s most shameful secret was revealed to him

- and he said he wouldn’t tell anybody. he really wasn’t going to but...

- MC noticed the weird stares followed by giggles of the succubi at RAD, clearly whispering about MC which made their stomach feel sick

- MC wasn’t sure what the deal was today until a succubus came up to them at lunch,

- “hey human, i heard that *insert your most humiliating memory*” she snickers with her friends, watching mc turn pale

- Unable to form words MC bolted out of there

- Unluckily for Asmodeus, MC just do happened to run into him

- “Ah! MC, dear, be careful or you and I will both ends up bruised-“ he’s cut off by a slapping sound

- he’s in so much shock he doesn’t even realize MC had slapped him for a few seconds

- “I should’ve known better than to trust you with my secrets.” MC growled, turning around to storm off, “Guess I forgot you were a demon. No, demons are like Diavolo, they at least have some itty bit of kindness in their hearts. You. You’re a monster.”

- Asmo watched them storm off and felt tears come to his eyes

- They were right, for once he had someone who loved him for more than power, looks, and sex, and what did he do? He hurt them and destroyed their reputation.

- He eventually fell off of his skincare routine and stopped coming home every night, instead, he was too busy partying and passing out in strangers’ beds and being glad the demons and succubi who dances with him and slept with him didn’t care for his personality

- cuz he knew his personality was the one part of him that was ugly as hell and he hated it

i know Beelzebub is a gentle giant who cares for his entire family BUT he also throws tantrums that hurt people when he gets hungry and isn’t given food asap

- After his sports practice, he was starving and on edge

- He hungrily eyed a strangers’ meal as he and MC walked home from the campus

- “Beel, don’t even think about stealing that poor demon’s food,” MC scolded him, unknowingly lighting a fuse inside of him

- He shifted to his demon form and grabbed MC by the shoulders harshly

- “Well what else am I supposed to eat?! Do you want me to eat you?!” He shook them, making them whimper out in pain as his claws dug into their flesh

- “B-Beel, you’re hurting me!” MC cried out, but he was too hungry to care and leaned in, about to take a bite out of the poor human before he felt himself get pulled away and pin against the ground

- “Beelzebub, just what in the Devildom do you think you’re doing?” Lucifer’s chilling voice snarled at his younger brother, a crowd forming to watch the two demon lords fight

- “I’m HUNGRY!” Beelzebub went to strike Lucifer, but instead, MC being MC, grabbed his arm to try and stop him, causing him to fling them against the wall, them hitting it with a loud cracking sound, blood pouring out from the back of their head as they rubbed it

- Seeing them bleed made him more hungry but then he saw the look of despair and disappointment that he had seen on his younger sister so many years ago and he snapped out of it

- “MC!” Lucifer rushed to the human’s side, picking them up gently and giving Beel one last cold look before flying off quickly to the Demon Lord’s castle, where Barbatos would be able to heal MC

- Beelzebub felt his hunger dissipate, instead, the guilt eating away at him as the sight of MC’s despair filled eyes flashed through his head

- When MC returned later that night he went to apologize when he heard them in the kitchen

- “MC,” they flinched and whipped around, immediately using one hand to grip their head as dizziness struck them for a moment, the other hand out in front of them in a defensive manner

- Beel’s heart broke and he felt tears starting to form as he started to approach them, intending to hug them comfortingly

- “STAY RIGHT THERE!” MC yelled, their pact forcing his feet to stay planted where they were

- “Y-you don’t have to apologize okay? I should have known better than to scold a monster,” he winced at the word but let them continue, “But that said it isn’t entirely my fault. Every other demon in that plaza could smell me and didn’t pounce me, they had better control than that. Even when I go out alone nobody attacks me! Hell, even the Demon Lord himself isn’t cruel enough to attack me I-I just, please, stay away from me Beel,” and when they looked up he had tears streaming down his face and he was biting his lips to keep from crying

- As badly as they wanted to comfort the crying boy, they knew that they would be putting their own safety at risk if they were to forgive him and make him think he would be so easily forgiven

- Beelzebub suddenly started to stop feeling hungry as every time his stomach growled all he could see was the image of himself about to bite into MC and he would start to feel sick to his stomach

- He doesn’t forgive himself and gets really depressed because he thinks MC’s pain is his fault just like Lilith’s death

i know Belphegor is a sleepy baby with a love for pranks and mischief BUT he literally killed MC but as soon as he found out they were a descendant of his little sister he suddenly just flipped a switch and didn’t even really apologize

- MC was sleeping in the attic next to Belphegor, tossing and turning as a nightmare filled their head

- They could practically feel his claws wrapped around their frail neck snapping it and laughing as they faded from their body

- MC sat up panting and screaming, Belphegor waking up and rubbing his eyes sleepily as he wrapped his arms around MC

- “NO NO NO GET OFF OF ME STOP IT” they continued to scream, flailing around in his embrace, he refused to let go though, convinced they just needed a hug to comfort them from whatever had scared them so bad

- They began to sob hysterically, their voice screaming out for Mammon

- Panicking he continued to hold them in place, afraid if he let go they’d sprint off

- and he was right, they bit his arm and he pulled away as they stood up and sprinted down the hall

- “MC WAIT” he chased after them, worried they’d get hurt

- As they saw the door of their guardian (Mammon), they called out his name

- Belphegor placed a hand over their mouth, worried about the others waking up, but it was too late as Mammon and Satan had both been woken by the cries of the human

- “HELP ME MAMMON PLEASE” MC sobbed, Belphegor sending a panicked and hurt look to his brothers

- Mammon pushed Belphie away as he took MC back into his room to calm them down

- After a mini-argument with Satan that ended up getting shut down by Lucifer, he went back to bed

- The next morning he saw MC was sitting at the breakfast table and he smiled at them, only to watch them shoot a look to Mammon, who then pulled their chair closer to his own protectively

- They all ate in silence, the awkward and tense atmosphere keeping anybody from starting a conversation

- After everyone else left he went up to MC and cornered them, covering their mouth to keep them quiet so he could say what he needed to

- “I already apologized for everything so why do you still need to freak out whenever you see me?!” he asked, annoyed that despite his apology for killing MC, they still felt uncomfortable around him

- They slapped his hand away, “You didn’t really apologize. You only apologized because I’m a descendant of your dead sister, you didn’t apologize to me, MC, you apologized to Lilith,” MC shoves him and starts to walk away from the stunned demon

- “Its kind of funny that despite all the problems I’ve caused for his program, Diavolo has never tried to kill me.” MC says before finally making their exit

- Belphegor gets lost in his own thoughts after that, as he finally realized that he had been seeing them as a replacement Lilith rather than themselves

- even if he wanted to try apologizing again, he was unable to as Mammon became more and more protective of them, shooing Belphie away with dirty looks anytime they were in the same room

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mintymiknow · 3 years

Text

Trust Fall - ch. 14 | Lee Minho

summary | character profiles | masterlist

Pairing: Lee Minho/Lee Know x Reader

Summary: After an eventful evening, you and Minho return to HQ to continue making progress on the case with the other agents. While things are starting to fall into place and answers are found, feelings seem much clearer now as well.

Genre: Secret agent/spy au, romance, angst, action

Word count: Approx. 6.9k

Warnings for this chapter: Death is talked about (but no actual death scenes), suggestive and highly implied content, the word “sex” is used (but nothing explicit or nsfw; I still kept things PG hehe)

A/N: After a loooong wait, here it is! I just checked my outline and realized that I’ve managed to shorten things by putting several chapters together so...I guess the series is ending soon! For now, I hope you enjoy this chapter with some...spicier content for our main couple (spicy but not explicit haha, don’t worry!). Have fun, and don’t hesitate to drop an ask for any questions or comments!

Last night’s sleep was good. Perfect. Much needed.

In the new hours of another day, your head still lay on the pillow, body wrapped up snuggly in the soft sheets as sunlight gently peeked through the closed curtains. It was quite chilly, but there was also a distinct warmth swirling about, making your slumber even better. Your breathing was even, and your mind at rest for once.

And, there were arms around you.

Minho awoke first, his body much more used to getting up at early hours. His eyes slowly peeled open, immediately landing on your sleep-filled expression. Upon hearing the soft snores puffing out of you, the male chuckles to himself - as quietly as possible - and scoots ever so closer, wrapping his arms around you tighter. You mumble something incoherent, making him smile in amusement.

He could stare all day.

The soft and tranquil expression on your face was something he wanted to relish in. Seeing you in constant stress and anguish throughout your time working with them has made him quite upset, so seeing you in a better state surely melted his heart.

It was unexplainable…the way he wanted to protect and keep you safe. To care for you. To make sure you were happy and satisfied. To love you, perhaps.

He did love Jiyeon, but the feeling bubbling in him towards you was something else, and whatever he had for Jiyeon could not compare to what he now has for you. The thought makes his lips quirk up into a small smirk, and he finds himself whispering to himself, “Look at what you’re doing to me, y/n.”

Minho places a chaste kiss on your forehead before carefully untangling himself from you. The male tries his best to not wake you as he slips out of bed and heads for the bathroom to freshen up. He decides to take his time to give you as much sleep as you needed, even silently going out to the inn lobby to grab a snack. There, Agent Ju greets him with a smile, “Good morning, Agent Lee. I hope you and Miss Song are feeling better.”

“Morning.” Minho smiles back, nodding his head once, “Yeah, much better. Thank you.”

Agent Ju nods her head before leaning against the receptionist’s table, “Well, if you and Miss Song are heading back to Seoul, I can arrange for HQ to send a car over.”

“It’s fine. We came by bus and we’ll go back the same way.” Minho says politely, “Thank you for the help, though.”

“Anytime.” Agent Ju laughs.

Minho then nods his head in permission before making his leave to return to the room you shared in the inn. When he unlocks the door, he’s not surprised to see you still fast asleep, now hugging the pillow he was laying on previously. With an amused shake of his head, the agent walks over to you and sits on the edge of the bed. As much as he treasured seeing you at peace like this, you both had to return to HQ.

The male gently shakes your sleeping figure, “Y/n, time to get up.”

You mumble yet another string of incoherent words, releasing a deep breath as you toss and turn in an attempt to stop the agent from shaking you awake. With a laugh, Minho gently crawls closer to lean over you, peppering your unguarded face with feathery kisses. His quick attacks are tickling, causing you to giggle; ultimately, you open your eyes after a squeal escapes your lips as a result of Minho nibbling at your earlobe.

The male laughs at your glare, “Hey, sleepyhead.”

Your glare melts into a small albeit sleepy smile as you respond, “I’m surprised you aren’t sleepy.”

“I’m used to this.” Minho chuckles, taking your hands in his so he could pull you to sit up. The right sleeve of the robe you had worn last night had slipped down to the middle of your upper arm, so Minho gently pulls it back to its place over your shoulder and offers a small smile, “Do you want to freshen up before getting dressed?”

“Yeah, ok.” you say, leaning forward to rest your head on Minho’s shoulder.

The male chuckles softly, allowing you to stay in that position for another minute or so. Afterwards, you take a good stretch and get up from the bed, making a beeline to the bathroom while Minho gathers both your things ready for leaving. After you’re both ready to leave, you gather your things and head to the inn’s main desk to say your thanks to Agent Ju. The woman bows her head and waves with a smile, “Take care, you two.”

You and Minho give her a smile before walking out of the inn. Thankfully, the wait at the bus stop isn’t that long, and a few minutes later, you’re both seated towards the back and are on the way back to Seoul. Minho allows you to sit next to the window, allowing you to watch the scenery as the bus drives by. The sun basks you in enough sunlight, but still mild enough to not make it hot or too bright. Minho sneaks a glance, resisting the urge to claim your lips in his as you preoccupy yourself with the said scenery. Instead, he gently slips his hand with yours, intertwining your fingers like lace.

This prompts you to look away from the window, eyes now focused on him. You crack a smile and chuckle, “Sorry, I dazed off.”

“It’s alright.” Minho smiles, squeezing your hand, “You can sleep until we get to Seoul if you want.”

You shake your head, leaning it on Minho’s shoulder afterwards, “I’m fine, I got enough sleep. I do want…” you trail off, using your free hand to draw patterns on the male’s hand that is clasped around yours, “...to hear your story when meeting the other boys.”

“Hmm?”

“I told you about how I met Hyejoo...and Hyunbin.” you slowly explain, “And you told me about how you met Chan and Jiyeon. How about the other boys?”

Minho chuckles, nodding his head in amusement, “Alright then.”

You let out a quiet “yay”, prompting another chuckle from the male. He then speaks, “Chan was my superior for a while, right? Well, after he convinced Jung to ‘elevate’ me into a more senior agent, Changbin came in, and Chan and I sort of became his superior and trainer until we became a team - not counting Jiyeon, since you know her story. Hyunjin came in a month after Changbin, and the two of us got along pretty well, so our team compositions would rotate between us four.”

“Surprisingly,” Minho chuckles, “Jisung and Seungmin were already in SKZ before I entered. They’re younger, yeah, but they finished college early for their age and started working in SKZ after some recommendations from science and medical professionals who got to see their skills. Jisung wasn’t ‘head’ of the lab department at that time, but he was a well-respected figure. So was Seungmin. I remember becoming friends with them because Jisung spilled coffee on me in the cafeteria, and he wouldn’t stop fussing even after I told him it was fine. Seungmin had the audacity to laugh at the situation, but I found it funny as well.”

A small yet warm smile forms on your lips as you stifle a laugh, “That sounds like a very normal occurrence in your group of friends. And Jeongin?”

Minho shrugs gently, a smile on his face as well, “He was the last to join, but he was usually assigned to team with me, so we bonded pretty well. You could say I taught him almost everything he knows.”

“Hmm.” you hum in a teasing manner, “Jeongin does remind me of a mini-you...or something like that.”

Minho chuckles at this, his lips curling with an amused quirk, “Until he actually becomes better than all of us. He has a lot of potential.”

“Imagine that.” you laugh.

The next few minutes or hour spent in your journey back to HQ is filled with idle chatter and light-hearted conversations about more personal things, such as non-work related hobbies and interests, life as teenagers or kids before, and a random game of 20 questions - all while holding each other’s hands and leaning against each other. Some people on the bus murmured that you and Minho were a lovely couple, and one old lady flashed a warm smile and said something along the lines of “I wish you both a long and lasting relationship”.

Of course, that caused you to burn like a tomato. Minho was calmer, nodding in acknowledgement and thanking the old lady; either he was playing yet another disguise of being a couple, or he actually did think you were a couple.

Were you?

What were you two to each other anyway?

You’ve showered together, slept in one bed, kissed, hugged - everything a couple would do. Something friends would do? No, you didn’t think friends kissed the way you did back at the inn. So...what were you?

There was an unnamed label or string between you and Minho, but perhaps deciphering that could wait until another time - when both your missions were over with.

For now, you were at peace knowing that the person who tore down your defensive and heavily-guarded wall was none other than Minho.

Once you and Minho arrive back at HQ, you both head straight to the labs where Jisung and Seungmin are already working. “Hey, welcome back.” Jisung flashes a grin, “How was the trip?”

“Some...bumps along the way, but…” Minho puts the case on one of the lab tables and explains, “Here are the samples you need to continue testing.”

Seungmin nods and gathers the various bottles and vials, “Well then, we shouldn’t waste any time on this.”

Minho nods his head, “I’m going to meet with the other agents to update them. I’ll call if Jung wants to schedule a briefing session.”

“Alright.” Jisung flashes a smile.

You nod in response, a small smile on your lips, “I’ll help Jisung and Seungmin.”

The eldest male nods before offering a smile at all three of you, turning on his heel to then make his exit. Once he’s out of the room, Jisung swirls around to flash a cheeky grin at you, “Something must have happened in that trip.”

“What are you talking about?” you question, trying to remain calm while helping Seungmin begin the tests and experiments.

Jisung chuckles, “I don’t know. It’s like...there’s been a shift between you and Minho. In a good way.”

“They probably confessed and made love or something.” Seungmin joins in the teasing, a rather funny contrast to how serious he was with the test tube in his hand.

“That did not happen!” you protest, quickly grabbing your own test tube and a vial, “We just...talked.”

“Yeah, right.” Jisung laughs as he conducts his own experiments now, “At least say you kissed.”

“That…” you trail off with a small pout, “...is confidential.”

“So you did.”

“Quiet, Seungmin.”

The next few hours are spent with the three of you conducting more tests and experiments to confirm or support your theories and other data. Thankfully, whatever results were being yielded were indeed looking towards the bright side. Although...Jisung did nearly spill his coffee into one of Seungmin’s lab flasks. Fortunately, the doctor was quick to react; who knew what would have happened if caffeine was mixed with these dangerous substances.

By now, the three of you were seated in one of the lab offices, going through sheets of paper with results and scribbled-down notes and citations while discussing all possible outcomes and solutions. Then, as somewhat expected, Minho called in, explaining that Jung wanted to meet with the team for a quick briefing of all current findings. With that, the three of you gathered your things and headed for the main building, footsteps quick as you made your way to the meeting rooms.

The other agents and Jung are already inside when you, Jisung and Seungmin enter the room. Chan, as usual, greets with a warm smile and nod of his head. Changbin mirrors the action, and Hyunjin gives off a playful salute. Felix and Jeongin aren’t there at the moment, probably still on break or something of the like. Jisung takes a seat next to Hyunjin, and Seungmin takes a seat next to Changbin while you settle down between Chan and Minho.

Jung clears his throat to start the session, “Alright, so, what do we have so far?”

Chan speaks first, fingers lightly drumming against the table, “At the culminating point, all investigations and intel have led to one definite finding. Cle is ready with their prototype serums, and by ready, we mean that intel tells us they are ready to start transacting and trading with other parties.”

“Hmm, I see.” Jung nods, “And how is our side responding to this?”

“Various teams have managed to dismantle various Cle facilities.” Minho begins, “This would either hinder their process by getting rid of their stocks for transactions, or getting these stocks for our own use; for the lab department to come up with a solution.”

“And how is the lab department?” the head of SKZ turns to you, Jisung and Seungmin.

You slowly piece your thoughts together, stringing the right words carefully. “I’ve...we’ve come up with a temporary solution. It’s...far from perfect, but all the tests we’ve performed with it have worked so far.” you answer, “I wouldn’t call it complete and functional though.”

Jung nods his head once more, “Do you think it’s safe to say that we can utilize this now? So that we can interfere with whatever trades and transactions Cle has in store?”

“I…” you look around the room before gulping, “No. I think we should still observe and test it out a few more times.”

“How long ago did you come up with the solution? Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” Jung questions, “We could have made more progress earlier.”

You look away, shaking your head, “It’s science, sir. I didn’t say anything because I wanted to be 100% certain the solution was effective. Even now, I’m not 100% certain. Jisung, Seungmin and I are still working to see how credible it is.”

Minho nods his head as if agreeing with you, “It might have been risky if they weren’t completely sure that their solution would be effective. We can’t afford any mistakes on this.”

“I agree.” Jung clasps his hands together, “Good to know that everyone’s efforts paid off. Do you think the lab team can develop several stocks of that solution any time soon, Dr. Song?”

“We’ll do our best to finalize things.” you answer quickly, “Then we’ll see what capacity we can do to produce a large volume.”

“Very well.” Jung nods definitively, “I wish everyone the best of luck. Meeting dismissed. Good luck on your respective tasks.”

Jung is the first to exit the room as soon as his phone rings. Chan leans back on his seat and props his feet up on the table, “So...Minho says you actually have completed the solution, y/n.”

“I...sort of have.” you confirm, “I just want to be more sure of it. There’s no room for a single percentage of failure in things like this.”

Changbin hums, crossing his arms, “Good thing the teams were able to bring back a lot of Cle serums for that then.”

“The power of science huh.” Hyunjin spins his chair around, “Amazing what you can do in a lab.”

Chan chuckles at the long-haired male’s comment before his expression softens and he sits down properly. With a tilt of his head, Chan says, “Sorry to change the topic but...Minho did tell us about what happened in that small clinic with your friend and all...I’m sorry. How are you?”

You offer a small smile and shrug, “It still hasn’t fully sunk in, but...I’ll be ok.”

Hyunjin has an apologetic expression on his face as he speaks with a soft voice, “Well, whatever it is, we’re your friends now, alright? You got us.”

“I know, thank you.” you flash another genuine smile.

“What else happened back there?” Changbin inquires, his playful smile displaying his attempt to lighten the situation.

“Well...Minho told me about Jiyeon and how he met all of you.”

Chan looks at his friend with raised eyebrows and chuckles, “Did he now? That’s interesting. Minho doesn’t like talking about her.”

Minho playfully shoves Chan’s teasing face away from him and rolls his eyes, “She’s bound to find out anyway. I’m sure Jisung and Seungmin would have told her one of these days.”

“Hey!” Jisung protests, “I would not have done so without your permission.”

“You just agreed that you would have told y/n either way...just with Minho’s permission.” Seungmin laughs.

Jisung puffs his cheeks out, causing the other males to chuckle in amusement. You find yourself smiling at the situation too; having a circle of friends who managed to smile despite the existence of problems wasn’t something you were used to after all. Maybe dropping your walls wasn’t such a bad idea as long as it was these boys.

Soon, Changbin playfully salutes before getting up from his seat and laughing, “I’ll excuse myself first. I haven’t gotten any sleep since my last mission.”

Minho nods, “Sleep well.”

The buff agent smiles before making his leave. Hyunjin follows suit, stretching his tall figure as he stands, “And I will look for Jeongin to bug him...he owes me coffee.”

“Well, that’s my cue too.” Jisung hops up, “Felix and I are off to that new pizza place.”

The two males then wave and say goodbye before exiting the room. Chan looks at you and the remaining agents and asks, “And you guys?”

Seungmin stifles a yawn, “I think I’ll copy Changbin. I need some sleep...maybe just nap.”

“I’m not sure yet.” you answer next, shrugging your shoulders as you pout your lips in thought.

When Minho remains silent, eyes looking at Chan with some sort of bro-code message, the eldest agent chuckles softly. “Alright, you should all get some rest. If you need me, I’ll probably be snacking in the lounge.” Chan states before getting up.

With that, he and Seungmin leave the room, leaving you alone with Minho. The silence doesn’t last long for as soon as Minho turns to face you, you offer a small smile. and say, “Do you have a moment?”

Minho looks taken by surprise at first but eventually recovers with ease. “Sure.” he nods in response.

You both then leave the meeting room together, some sort of unspoken agreement to walk towards the living quarters. A few minutes later, you find yourselves in one of the rooftop decks of the living quarters’ building, the expanse of the sky greeting you. You walk over to the railing, leaning slightly to admire the view as a gentle breeze idly blows around. Minho joins in, falling into step right beside you as he props an elbow on the railing.

“Is something wrong?” he quietly asks, eyes intently studying your features.

“How…” you begin to say, but a sudden wave of emotions causes you to press your lips in a tight, flat line.

Your eyes dart to the floor a bit shakily, and Minho is instantly aware of whatever internal struggle you’re battling with. He then takes the initiative to help you, slowly reaching one hand out to intertwine your fingers together. While gently swaying your hands like a hammock, he smiles, “It’s ok.”

You give him a small smile in return, squeezing his hand in an expression of gratitude. Slowly, you manage to speak up again, “How do you get over witnessing death? Someone dying?”

Minho more than understands what your question meant - it was definitely about Hyunbin.

“You’re a doctor, y/n.” Minho starts slowly, “I’d assume death isn’t something new to you.”

At this, a small yet gloomy smile graces your lips as you reply, “I know. But the death I witness in hospitals is very different from the death...in that context.”

Minho stays quiet, analytical eyes still studying your behavior. You then add, “When a patient dies, it hurts, but we know it’s part of life - we can’t save everyone. I know that, and I’m accustomed to it. But when you...you witness someone dying in a much more gruesome way for intentions that are more twisted than you’d like...how do you forget about it?”

“You don’t.” Minho says flatly, a resigned sigh following after, “That’s just how it is. Hyunbin’s death will follow you for the rest of your life, y/n. I’d know because Jiyeon’s death did. You never really forget things like that once you’ve seen them. They have a way of sticking with you.”

“I see.”

“But…” the male trails off, using his other free hand to lift your chin so that your gazes met. He continues, “You can choose to wallow in despair and let that hold you back, or move past it and use it as a stepping stone to become stronger...better. They never leave you, but you can choose to focus on things that are living - things that actually matter.”

A soft chuckle escapes your lips as you look up at the male. The warm, orange hues of the setting sky paints Minho’s features with an ethereal glow, and his hair dances along with the breeze, making him look like a painting that has come to life - a very handsome, strong and smart painting. There’s a sharpness to Minho that is countered by elegance and refinement; he looks tired and worn-out yet is full of life and passion.

“You’re right.” you finally respond, “Thank you. Again.”

Without warning, Minho pulls you closer, circling his arms around your waist. As soon as you feel his arms around you, you nuzzle your face against his chest and take a deep, shaky breath. “I’m sorry, I’m being selfish like this.” you say quietly, “I’ve never had anyone to trust to this extent. It’s all...new.”

Minho chuckles, his voice low yet calm, “It’s alright, y/n. You’re not being selfish, don’t worry.”

You remain in each other’s arms for a few more seconds before Minho pulls away just enough to look into your eyes. “I know Hyunbin broke your trust,” he starts, “but I will never. I promise you that.”

“I know, Minho.” your gaze pierces his fiercely, “I know.”

You’re now both stuck in time, eyes trailing down to each other’s semi-parted lips, unmoving despite the breeze picking up. The sun sets much lower, painting the sky now a dusky shade of purple. You feel one of Minho’s hands reach up to your face, his knuckles gingerly grazing along your jaw; it sends a jolt of electricity down your spine, prompting a brief shiver.

“Minho…”

“I’ll be the selfish one right now.”

And it’s the last thing he says before closing whatever distance stood between you, sealing your lips with his own. It, however, isn’t just him that makes a move - you meet him halfway as well, very much wanting to be selfish and allowing yourself to indulge in something...more.

This kiss is slower and much calmer compared to the one you both shared in the inn the other night; that one was hungry, sudden and a bit rushed. This...this was much more intimate and deliberate as both you and Minho took the time to really relish and savor every glide and slide of your lips against each other. The way Minho kisses is gentle yet solid, patient yet passionate - it sends tingles in every fiber of your body as it does to his.

His right arm goes around your waist as his left hand braces the back of your neck to support it as he tilts your head back. You gasp out, arms flying up to coil around his neck. Your fingers play with the hair at the base of his nape as you allow the male entrance to kiss you deeper, melting in his hold as his tongue finds yours in a tango. It’s amazing - it feels amazing.

You’re 100% Minho has kissed many people, whether he meant it or not, but you...you’ve never. To experience such bliss and magic with a man like him was certainly something else, and it made you feel like no scientific or medical discovery could give you this ecstasy. It felt like with every second and every kiss, he took your worries away - your fears and ghosts away.

After a moment, you both pull apart for air, breaths labored as your foreheads rest against each other. Your face is extremely flushed as a tint of pink dusts Minho’s cheeks. The male’s lips curl into a small smile as he whispers, “Let me help you forget it all, y/n. Hyunbin, your past, your pain - everything.”

You nod and pull him closer to the point that not a single sliver of air could squeeze between your bodies. You kiss the tip of his nose and smile in response, “Please.”

And he kisses you again. And again. And again, until you’re both walking back down inside from the rooftop deck without a word, hand-in-hand as you take the elevators to the floor level of your room. Lips are on lips as soon as you enter your room, both of you hastily tumbling inside as the door shuts and the night creeps in.

But this time, you aren’t on your own.

You have someone to spend it with - physically and emotionally.

So when a moment of intimacy unfolds as the agent invades your space, you sigh contentedly. Every touch he administers, every kiss he plants, and every murmur of praise he utters fills you with not only pleasure but also the satisfaction and peace of knowing that Minho will handle you with care - that he won’t ruthlessly manipulate you like a doll but will instead hold you like porcelain ceramics - fragile yet priceless.

When a blanket of stars fills your eyes and a tingling heat explodes within you, you clutch at Minho’s back to draw him closer, feeling his warm skin against your own. You don’t even mind the sticky sweat between your bodies, refusing to let go of the male as if doing so would result in you being alone in the room once again. Like this with him, you feel like you’re home.

You feel the sheets comfortably pulled over both your bare and vulnerable bodies, and the male shifts around to gently lay beside you and pull you into his embrace. While you nuzzle against his chest, Minho traces small patterns down your spine as you both catch your breaths and come down from cloud 9. You feel safe.

But it’s when you feel him plant a soft kiss on your forehead and hear a hushed “I’m here” that you truly, truly feel a boulder lifted from your shoulders - from your heart, in fact.

Tonight, snuggly enveloped in Minho’s arms in the comfort of your bed, you fall asleep without fear of darkness suffocating you.

“Yeah, no.” Hyunjin snickers, “You two are definitely fuc - ”

“Hyunjin!” you hiss, waving your hands in front of the agent, “Don’t say that! That’s not what’s happening!”

The long-haired male rolls his eyes before smirking, “Let me see...you both have so much tension, look at each other with sweet gazes, Minho would kill to protect you, you showered together, kissed at the inn, slept in each other’s arms, made out yesterday, and slept with each other in your room again. You guys seem like great best friends then.”

“I’m not saying we aren’t more than friends, but that’s just it, isn’t it?” you start, “What...what are we? I don’t think we’re....romantically involved just yet. Flings?”

“Minho doesn’t do flings unless he’s undercover, y/n.” Hyunjin advises you with a smile, “Jiyeon was his last serious relationship before he vowed to never get attached to someone again. All the people he’s kissed, dated or slept with are for undercover purposes. So you gotta believe me when I say that he’s romantically and emotionally attached to you by now.”

You pout your lips and lean back on your chair, fingers fiddling with the stem of the cherry placed atop of the cake you ordered, “I’m...not even going to be with SKZ permanently. I’m...leaving after this case.”

Seungmin shrugs, his disposition collected and relaxed, “Then he’d just visit you off-duty hours. It’s going to be like some long-distance relationship. I doubt Minho’s going to let this be a temporary thing.”

“We can figure the technicalities out later. Did you and Minho perhaps...do anything more than sleep together recently? And I’m not talking about literally sleeping with each other.” Hyunjin wiggles his eyebrows.

You raise an eyebrow, “Why do you ask though?”

“I’m trying to assess the level of seriousness and attachment Minho has!” Hyunjin says a bit too seriously as if this were some sort of world-changing matter, “It’s crucial that I know this...as both your friends, after all.”

“Y/n, you were complaining about walking to this cafe instead of taking the bus, right?” Seungmin asks out of the blue.

“Yes, because as I said before we even left HQ, my legs have some sort of ache.”

Instant regret. Seungmin seems to put things together much quicker than you’d like, however. “Well, since you said Minho spent the night with you last night...and judging by how you have ‘leg ache’...yeah.”

“Oh!” Hyunjin gasps upon realizing the truth as well, “So you did have sex last night! Y/n!”

“Shhhh!” you hiss, cheeks now red and hot, “How are my legs hurting related to sex? You both haven’t considered that I’ve been running for my life each time I’m on a mission with you all!”

“For a doctor, you’re kinda dense.” Hyunjin teases.

You groan, shooting both males a glare before sipping your coffee, “I agreed to eat breakfast with you two so we could bond...not get interviewed about my relationship with Minho.”

Seungmin chuckles, his smile bright and happy, “Well, you could say that we just want Minho to...you know, be happy again. To be himself and not some agent hiding behind a stone wall of coldness. It’s apparent that he’s more himself with you.”

“But he’s himself with all of you too.” you point out.

Hyunjin nods, “Yeah, but that’s ‘cause we’re his closest friends. Other than us, Minho is either cold, apathetic or nonchalant. You’re technically part of his ‘close friends’ circle now, or maybe even more. You’ve managed to get him to get over that wall he built after Jiyeon.”

Seungmin laughs, “We’re not going to meddle. I guess what we’re just trying to get at is...be happy. Both you and Minho. Whatever happens, just...do what makes you happy.”

You offer a small smile to both males, “I’m...happy as long as you’re all happy and safe. Even after this case, I want you all to be happy and safe.”

“You have our word, y/n.”

“We promise.”

With that, the three of you shift your conversation to more friendly and light-hearted matters, laughing over breakfast platters and cakes and coffee. If this were a fictional novel, this was probably what the main character would be doing with her college best friends, living life as the sun shone above their peaceful city. And for now, you let yourself live out and play your little novel-like moment with Hyunjin and Seungmin.

The next few hours and days could change everything, after all.

Meanwhile, four agents drive to a high-end bar, dressed in suits and looking like expensive gentlemen. Once inside, one of the bouncers asks for their name. Chan, leading the group, replies, “Christopher.”

“Ah, very well.”

The bouncer then ushers the group to a private room in the back of the bar. Once he leaves them to be, the four males settle on the velvet couch and relax for a moment. Chan picks up the small menu on the glass coffee table and hums, “We’re technically off-duty, so might as well get something.”

“I like that.” Jisung chuckles from where he sits.

A few seconds later, a bartender enters the private room and takes down each male’s order before leaving to prepare the drinks. Minho leans back on the couch and crosses his arms, “He’s late huh…”

“Isn’t he always?” Changbin chuckles.

“Let’s enjoy the drinks while we wait.” Jisung grins, “We deserve it.”

“Agreed.” Chan laughs.

“Bet Hyunjin would have wanted to come with us here.” Changbin says.

Minho shrugs, “I mean, we did tell him. He just wanted to eat breakfast in a cafe today.”

“I think y/n’s with him and Seungmin.” Jisung adds, “Surprised you aren’t together right now.”

Minho smirks, “We were last night. She doesn’t have to be with me 24/7 you know? Y/n’s an independent woman.”

“Ok, yeah that’s true…” Changbin leans closer, “But back-track...you were with her last night?”

Minho shrugs casually, never missing a beat as he gives a knowing and very much suggestive wink. Chan gasps, holding in a laugh as he gently shoves Minho’s side. “Took you long enough to realize you love her!” the eldest male sighs in relief.

“Wait, you confessed?” Jisung and Changbin gasp simultaneously.

“Not exactly.” Minho clarifies, “But…I’d like to think I made my feelings and intentions clear...well, clearer.”

“And how exactly did you do that?” Changbin raises an eyebrow curiously.

Just then, the bartender knocks on the door again, opening it shortly after. The agents allow him to finish serving their respective drinks and make his leave before continuing their conversation. With the bartender gone, Minho grabs his cocktail glass and takes a sip before clearing his throat, “I kissed her.”

“No offense,” Jisung starts with a cheeky grin, “but y/n is not going to understand your feelings with a kiss. She’s super smart, yeah, but she’s denser than you are. She’s just going to think you’re showing her care or something.”

“True.” Minho starts slowly, calculating his next choice of words after another sip, “We also...kind of...did it last night.”

Changbin nearly chokes on his drink while Jisung chugs his in one go. Chan, on the other hand, sips his drink with a knowing smile. “Yeah, I’m sure she knows how you feel now. Impossible to miss the hints and signs if you had sex with someone as…distrusting as both of you are towards others.” the eldest male notes.

“Exactly. I’m sure y/n knows I don’t...do relationships.” Minho says.

Changbin smiles like a proud friend, “But you do know that you’re both going to have to properly and officially talk about...whatever you have going on between you two, right?”

“I know.” Minho shrugs, “I’ll address it after this case.”

“Good enough.” Jisung places his empty glass on the table.

A few minutes later, the door opens to reveal another man in a suit, greeting the four agents with a warm smile and a quick wave. Chan stands first, followed by the other three. They bow in respect before the eldest agent speaks, “Sir.”

The man chuckles and gestures for the agents to return to their seats. With a casual tone, the man speaks as well, “I see you already got some drinks.”

Chan lightly chuckles, “Would you like to order something, sir?”

“I’m fine, thank you.” the man responds with a smile before settling down on the empty space on the couch, “Just had coffee. Now, shall we?”

“Alright.” Chan starts, “Dr. Song has reported that she and her team are nearly finished with the solution against Cle’s serum. However, the truth is, she actually is finished with it.”

“So, in the briefing session you all recently had, she did not disclose this?” the man asks out of curiosity.

Minho speaks up next, leaning forward, “Dr. Song’s a very wary person; she doesn’t really feel comfortable telling people certain things. The only people who know the solution is actually complete are me, Chan, and well...our friends. Now, you.”

“I see. I believe it’s best if we keep it that way until Jung mobilizes teams to interfere with Cle business.” the man explains, “I suggest that Dr. Song and you all keep it a secret until we actually get a move on Cle.”

Changbin adds, “Sir, our latest intel suggests that Cle will start transacting with other parties very soon.”

The man nods, “I see. Well, if that’s the case, once we confirm a date or receive concrete data that a transaction is actually taking place, Dr. Song can reveal that the solution is complete. Agent Han, have you and Dr. Song produced an ample amount of solution?”

Jisung thinks for a second before turning his eyes to the man and answering, “Right now, we have about...three to four vials ready. Seungmin, Dr. Song and I are going to make more today and in the next few days. We hope to have more than 50 by then.”

“That’s more than enough for now.” the man smiles reassuringly, “Well, so far so good. Everything seems to be good for now. I guess that’s it. I’ll just remind you boys to be careful and wary the next few days since...as you mentioned, some Cle activity may take place.”

“Yes, sir.” the four agents nod.

A few minutes later, the man says goodbye and makes his leave, leaving the four younger males in the private room. Changbin looks to Chan and says, “I seriously can’t wait for this case to be over.”

“Same.” Jisung sighs as he slumps back on the couch.

“I do too…” Chan trails off before his serious expression turns into something more playful, “...but that would also mean y/n will leave and return to Gongjak. Guess who’s going to be sad?”

Minho doesn’t hear. Or at least, he pretends to not hear. The faint shade of pink on his cheeks betrays him, and the three other agents with him can tell that he heard Chan’s teasing. Minho looks up from his phone, trying his best to keep his expression neutral. “I’m not going to be sad. As I said, y/n’s an independent woman. She’s an adult with her own life.” he says.

Jisung pouts, “But you love her.”

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean she has to stay.” Minho points out with a shrug, “If she chooses to leave, then she leaves.”

Chan offers a small smile before standing up, “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. For now, why don’t we drop by the cafe Hyunjin and Seungmin brought her to? Might as well have a little rest time before we get back to work.”

Changbin is quick to his feet, “Yeah, I’ve been craving that bacon and egg sandwich for a while now. Let’s go.”

And that was how your group ended up in the cafe where Wooyoung worked, your group of three now joined with another four agents. Wooyoung amusedly transferred your group to an area with a larger table as he served the newcomers’ drinks, allowing everyone to be more comfortable. On one end, Chan, Hyunjin, Seungmin and Jisung sat next to each other. On the other end, it was you, Changbin and Minho.

While everyone was enjoying their food and coffee, Chan looks across the table, eyes flitting between you and Minho. You’re the first one to notice his gaze as Minho was too busy talking to Hyunjin and Jisung about the cake they were eating. You tilt your head at the older agent as if to ask if there was something wrong.

“How was last night?” he asks, the mischievous glint in his eyes now more visible.

Your brain goes into overdrive as your cheeks flush with color instantly. You gasp, staring at the agent with a flustered expression, “You!”

This causes Chan to laugh, catching the attention of the other agents. Minho looks at Chan before turning his attention to you, and instantly, he catches your eye when you turn to face him. Like magnets, you refuse to break eye contact, to the point that Jisung coughs a very not-so-subtle “get a room oh wait they already did”.

With a smirk, Minho leans forward to kiss your cheek before turning to Chan, “She thinks it was very good, don’t worry.”

“Minho!” you slap his arm before turning to Seungmin for assistance; however, the doctor just smiles and shrugs as if the green tea cake he was eating needed more attention.

Changbin stifles a laugh, “Not gonna lie, you’re both so cute. Perfect for each other.”

“Agreed.” Hyunjin sips his americano, “Such a lovely couple.”

“Well, there goes my peaceful morning.” you grumble, playing with the fork near your plate.

Despite your words, a small smile forms on your lips as the other boys giggle and get giddy over whatever you and Minho have going on. A small smile forms on your lips when you feel Minho’s hand clasping around yours from under the table.

“To be fair, your morning was going to be far from peaceful if you woke up naked next to a similarly naked Minho.” Jisung jokes.

“Eat your cheesecake, Han Jisung.”

166 notes · View notes

ayuuria · 3 years

Text

Yashahime Translation: Animage Magazine September 2021 Issue

Please do not repost this translation without my consent! This includes screenshots of any type and amount. If you wish to share this translation, simply link to this post.

For more information regarding the use of my translations, click here.

Smash It!

Under the blazing midsummer sun, the Yashahimes are fully in the middle of enjoying watermelon breaking. In ‘The Second Chapter’ that will broadcast this fall, will the harsh destiny surrounding the girls also get smashed like a watermelon!?

It’s summer! Leisure! Watermelon breaking! The Yashahimes normally face off against atrocious demons, but their opponent today is a large watermelon. Before the juicy fresh taste, Moroha’s fired up swordsmanship looks even clearer than usual♪

Just as exciting as the fever surrounding the three princess is the arrival of new information regarding ‘Hanyō no Yashahime’ The Second Chapter! There are a lot of things of interest like what will happen to Setsuna who lost her life in the battle with Kirinmaru, the true intent behind Sesshōmaru’s actions, and the whereabouts of Kirinmaru and Zero. But right now, everyone is probably curious about the new character, Rion. It seems she is Kirinmaru’s daughter but why hasn’t she appeared on the center stage before? Also, going forward, how will she affect the story of Towa and the other Yashahimes?

Regarding the growing anticipation of ‘The Second Chapter’, according to the newly appointed director, Hishida Masukazu-san, he is currently working in earnest while placing importance on “How to produce the three Yashahimes so that they are awesome and cute”. We now can’t wait for the day when we get to see the three princesses once again running around powerfully in the Feudal world!

Character Bios

Takechiyo

A young tanuki (racoon dog) demon who works at the “Shikabaneya” which deals in demon bounties. He’s always tough towards Moroha, but he can’t but be surprised by the quickness of her stick!

Moroha

A quarter-demon girl born between Inuyasha and Kagome. Making a living as a bounty hunter and having plenty of experience in battle, breaking watermelons is a piece of cake?

Higurashi Towa

A half-demon girl with Sesshōmaru as her father. She treasures her younger twin sister, Setsuna, more than anything else. She seems like she would happily share the broken watermelon with Setsuna.

What Will Happen to Setsuna’s Life!?

Setsuna

A half-demon girl with Sesshōmaru as her father and Towa’s younger twin sister. She is normally cool, but it seems she can’t help but smile seeing Moroha and the others having fun.

In the final episode of the First Chapter, Setsuna lost her life in the battle with Kirinmaru. Sesshōmaru entrusts a broken Tenseiga to a despairing Towa, as if to tell her to revive Setsuna with the sword. Tenseiga is a sword that can revive a dead person just once but is it still possible with it being broken?

What About the Reunion with Parents!?

“Towa, Setsuna, Sesshōmaru, and Rin” and “Moroha, Inuyasha, and Kagome”, whether each family be able to safely meet or not is one of the biggest points of interest in ‘The Second Chapter’. Rin sleeping within the Tree of Ages with her fate still tied to Zero and the safety of Inuyasha and Kagome who have been imprisoned in the black pearl is of interest.

Kirinmaru’s Daughter Makes Her Appearance!

One of the key people in ‘The Second Chapter’ is Kirinmaru’s daughter, Rion. According to Director Hishida “While Rion was raised properly, the parent-child relationship between her and Kirinmaru has become quite complicated”. We want to hurry and find out the parent-child back story between Kirinmaru and Rion!

— There is a feeling of ‘Who would’ve thought Director Hishida’ but please tell us the details of how you were appointed as director.

The Three Girls Will Grow Up Little by Little

Director Hishida Masukazu

Hishida: Since the announcing of the ‘Hanyō no Yashahime’ project, it seems there was a large echo to “create ‘The Second Chapter’ as quickly as possible”. It’s just that the previous Teruo-san (Director Satō Teruo) already had his next assignment set so they reached out to me to be his successor. Producer Naka Hisakazu-kun joined Sunrise when I was directing my first work “Onmyō Taisenki” and he oversaw production; it seems he remembered my name in the corner of his mind. For me, I made my production debut with ‘Inuyasha’ so when I received talks of this work that has gathered everyone I’m indebted to, I thought “I absolutely cannot refuse this job and it’s my destiny to accept it!”

— It has been roughly 20 years but please tell us some of your memorable moments from back when you were working on ‘Inuyasha’.

Hishida: Not only was I in the production rotation, but I was also a production assistant, so I think I was involved in all the episodes in some way in the first year. I remember back then my senior (senpai) producers pushed a lot of things onto me *laughs*. The flash of Tessaiga’s “Wind Scar” turning up boulders and the effects of Miroku’s “Wind Tunnel” were things I came up with after receiving the unreasonable request of “You think of something” from my senior producers. At the time, it was a cell animation only anime, so I remember struggling quite a bit to produce something flashy with only a limited number of moves.

Also, I created the sequence flow of Sesshōmaru (destroying) countless demons into little pieces. At the time, I had only just started doing digital drawing but because I went overboard with it, the CG person got angry with me like “Because you made such a difficult thing (it became the standard), it’s gotten rough for me!” *laughs*. However, those materials were used as *bank shots for ‘Inuyasha, The Final Act’ and the current ‘The Second Chapter’. No one else will say it so I will, but I was quite involved in building the foundation for ‘Inuyasha’!

*Translator’s Note: Reusable shots (helps to save time and cost)

— That is quite the meritorious deed. Regarding work on ‘The Second Chapter’, what sort of plan do you have?

Hishida: In terms of art creation, continuing Teruo-san’s direction is the foundation. Also, an important aspect is how much will we be able to produce the three Yashahimes in way that makes them awesome and cute.

This time, I told everyone in the production/storyboard team “In ‘Hanyō no Yashahime”, the girls are the stars, so I want you to think about how to make them shine on screen”. With Inuyasha and Sesshōmaru, I think it’s fine to just have them stand in a savage wasteland, but we specially have girls, so I wanted to be a little conscious of the showy aspect. I separated from Sunrise after ‘Inuyasha’ and created anime that was geared towards primary school girls at other studios, so while utilizing that experience, I want to depict the courageous Yashahimes.

— What are some overall highlights for ‘The Second Chapter’?

Hishida: The process of the three girls slowly growing up will be depicted, so I think that’s a point worth noting. For those with children, I would certainly like for them to watch from a parental point-of-view. Also, in ‘The Second Chapter’ all of them will get new weapons. On the point of getting stronger both physically and psychologically, the flow will inherit from ‘Inuyasha’, and will have not just a shōnen manga component but also a fun factor that I think is possible with ‘Hanyō no Yashahime’. By all means, please watch over the development of the three (girls).

— Thank you very much. In the next issue, we will be asking about the highlights for each character as it pertains to ‘The Second Chapter’!

#Yashahime #Hanyou no Yashahime #Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon #translation

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neutron-stars-collision · 3 years

Text

The Art of Inversion

Neil x Reader

Chapter 8 - Parisian Nightmares

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7

Summary: With Neil MIA you have some time to think about everything that happened. But you are not allowed peace at all..

Warnings: Swearing.

Author’s Notes: The longest chapter yet, so sorry for that. It’s a little bit of a filler slower one so hope you enjoy! Please let me know what you think!

Supposedly the idea of having lunch with TP would have scared you more if it was not for the way he guided you through the experience. He ordered food from the dining hall and made sure you had your coffee before starting any serious topics. Your tired and confused self really appreciated the efforts.

“So what do you want to talk about?” you asked after finally feeling more like a functioning human being.

“I thought we could discuss the things to come…” he briefly searched for the right words “Parts of it is what Neil already knows, but some details are not meant for him” he looked at you with a serious gaze “Is that okay?”

“Yeah, of course” you nodded, feeling both intrigued and nervous.

Ever since the topic of The Algorithm has been first breached, you hoped to learn more. Probably Neil’s presence would have helped at the moment, but if that was not possible then you just had to face the truth calmly. If not now, then when?

“Can I ask something first?”

“Go ahead”

“My recruitment… it wasn’t just because I was recommended by my professor, was it?” you felt like you already knew the answer but had to ask anyway.

“No” TP smiled “I knew from a good source that we had to recruit you”

You stared at him, desperately trying to comprehend what he meant. Suddenly you understood Neil and his despise of half-truths.

“Can I ask who’s that source?”

TP just smiled apologetically, and you groaned.

“Right. Did Neil know?”

“No, I only told him that you have to be enlisted” at your questioning stare, he added “It’s safer that way” he shrugged as though it explained everything.

It did not, but you began to understand that it was not meant to make sense. A sentence said during one of your early lectures rung out in your head: Don’t try to understand it. Feel it. Maybe that was the whole point.

“So that’s how you know that I’ll be needed during the plan? From the source?”

“Kind of” he grinned again “It’s a very reliable source, I must add” he looked at you pointedly and laughed at your confused face “I swear this will get clearer with time”

The reassuring smile made you feel somewhat better. Taking a sip of the coffee, you considered what was being said.

“When does it all begin?”

“With action in Kiev Opera in a month, more or less. But in reality, it already began years ago”

You frowned, feeling your head go blank. TP was smiling, clearly enjoying your utter confusion.

“It’s okay, you’ll catch up eventually”

“Thanks, that’s encouraging” you lightly smacked him in the shoulder.

“I’ll give you more information leading up to Kiev and then after” he explained after a short silence “But you can’t know the whole progression of events. I’m the only one who is cursed with that”

The sudden change in the tone made you stare at him curiously. But his face was like a mask.

“For now though, you don’t need to worry about it” he smiled again “I’m sending you out on a quiet mission to Paris with one of our agents”

That was surprising. But you could do with a distraction.

“Okay… what’s the deal?” you leaned onto the table and flashed him a brilliant smile.

“You have to research one shady guy in Paris. It’s just observation so no need for engagement. The only trick is that you have to pose as a newlywed couple” he looked at you expectantly.

Oh…

“How long will this take?” you tried to focus on the details, not to think too much about the implications of the cover.

“Three weeks” he smiled at your glare “What? It’s gonna be nice! Three weeks in Paris and all you have to do is observe our target, Pierre or whatshisname, and cosy up with Jasper” the overly enthusiastic tone made you laugh.

“You made it sound almost fun” you admitted after calming down a little.

“Well, it’s always a break from spending time with Neil” TP looked at you with an amused expression “I’m sure you could use some of that” he winked.

You shot daggers in his direction, all the while feeling your face grow warm. Admittingly, time without Neil could be useful. You just were not sure it would do much at this point. You were beyond saving.

“When do I begin?”

“You’ll have a mission briefing tomorrow, and that’s also when you’ll meet Jasper” you nodded “And now I think you should rest a little” he eyed you carefully.

“You’re probably right” you both got up “Thanks for the lunch and the chat… It helped” you smiled lightly.

“My pleasure” he ignored your outstretched hand and gave you a quick hug.

After a small hesitation, you returned the gesture. It felt familiar, and you had no clue why.

“If you ever need anything, you know where to find me” TP smiled at you warmly.

“I’ll remember that” you grinned back and moved to open the door.

“Oh and don’t worry about Neil” you stopped in your tracks and turned to stare at him “I know that he can be extremely annoying, but he really cares about you”

You were speechless and could only nod in response. The Protagonist laughed at your expression before shooing you out of the room with a gesture. You gladly did just that.

*** One thing was for certain, life without Neil could be boring. You found out that much from the moment you came back to your room. After making sure the main casualty of the mission – your dress – was in the washing, you spent most of that afternoon staring at the ceiling. You were mostly thinking about how much your life has changed in the last weeks. And trying to avoid thinking about him because that could never end well. But of course, the universe had other plans.

Just as you were dealing with the fact that the dress was utterly ruined, your phone buzzed. It was late, and the number was used solely for personal reasons, so the sound made you frown. You looked at the screen to find a text message from an unknown number:

“How’s the dress?”

There was no signature, but you knew.

“How did you get my number?” you replied and quickly saved his contact details.

It didn’t take him longer than a minute to respond.

“Used the charm you’re so quick to ignore”

Ah, Anna’s help then.

“Why?”

“Couldn’t imagine not bothering you for too long”

You covered your face with your hands for a few seconds before typing back.

“The dress is ruined, so thanks for nothing”

The speed with which he responded took you aback. Surely he’d have better things to do...? It did not seem so.

“It’s hardly my fault, is it? That wasn’t my idea” you could almost imagine the self-satisfied grin.

“Point taken” you hit the sent button and then took a deep breath.

It’s not too early for double texting, is it?

“Where are you?” you typed another message before throwing the phone on the other side of the bed.

When it buzzed again, you regretted the decision. Pretending that you would be able to resist reading the message immediately was pointless. You reached for the phone and read his answer:

“On the way to Boston airport”

Great. At least now you knew that he is not around, and you can have time to think. But with those texts, it might be harder to do. Before you could overthink the response, another one came through.

“Be honest, how bored are you without me?” you wondered how someone could be so annoying via text message.

“I’ve been assigned a little mission in Paris, actually. With Jasper. So not that bored, thank you very much”

This time it took him longer to respond. Approximately 6 minutes. Not that you were counting.

“You’ll be bored soon enough if you’ll be stuck somewhere with Jasper. What’s the cover?”

You did not like the assumption, but who were you to argue.

“Newlyweds enjoying honeymoon” you typed back and closed your eyes.

Somehow his response to that information mattered a lot.

“I guarantee you’ll wish it was me soon enough” Fucking hell.

“That’s a bit narcissistic, don’t you think?”

“Maybe a little. But once you meet him, you’ll know I’m right”

“Well then I won’t hesitate to report back after the meeting” you replied and made sure to prepare yourself for the mission brief.

After you were done with planning the outfit and packing your folder, you glanced at the phone.

“Please do. I need to know what dear Jasper is up to these days”

“If you’re so curious about him, maybe ask Anna for his number ;) Sure she’d never deny you anything”

You weren’t sure where that came from, but sure enough, you were not going to take it back.

“Wow… Is that jealousy I’m sensing?”

“You wish” you glanced at the clock and realised how late it was.

“Goodnight, Neil” you sent him another text and went to the bathroom.

When you were back there was a message waiting for you.

“Sweet dreams, darling”

You groaned. In the end, it seemed like you will not be able to get a break from Neil. What a shame.

*** From the moment you stepped into the conference hall in the morning, you knew that Neil was right. Jasper was not one of the most entertaining people you have ever met. When you were introduced to each other he barely glanced up from the folder to look at you and half-heartedly shook your outstretched hand. You took a long look at him and his short brown hair and hazel eyes. He did look decent, to be fair. But he was not Neil. And you hated that your brain made that comparison straightaway.

“So what’s the task, boss?” the first time you heard his voice was when he addressed the Protagonist.

“You have to observe the target, Pierre Armand, who’s an inverted weapons dealer. You’re supposed to watch his every move and send daily updates but don’t engage. That will be the job for another team” TP looked at you both intently “Your cover is a newlywed couple going by the surname Morgan and who have just moved into their lovely suite next door to Armand” you’d swear he winked at you.

You glared back while your newly assigned partner studied the folder attentively. You wondered if he ever did anything else.

“When do we leave?” you decided to break the uncomfortable silence.

“Your plane is tomorrow afternoon” you nodded “Any other questions?” when neither of you spoke, he added “So I’ll leave you two to get acquittanced”

You stared at TP panicked, but he only flashed you one cheeky smile and left the room. That did explain why he and Neil got along so well. Grudgingly you turned towards Jasper, who was still pre-occupied with the damn folder. You cleared your throat, and he glanced up.

“So… have you been working here for a while?” you were shit at small talk.

“For three years now” he eyed you up sceptically “You’re the new recruit from London, aren’t you?” you could almost hear the condescension.

“Yes” it was not looking promising “Neil recruited me, and we’ve just been on a mission together in New York” you added.

It was a mistake. At the mention of Neil, Jasper’s eyes flared up, and he looked at you sharply.

“I heard that mission was a major fuck up” the vicious smirk took you aback “And poor Neil got shot”

You could only stare in confusion at the man in front of you. Boring and clearly having issues with Neil. Just bloody perfect.

“Anyway, I got to prepare” he got up “But mind you, Paris won’t be at all like an operation with that idiot” he glared at you.

“And what’s an operation with him like?” you were genuinely curious at this point.

“Overly dramatic” he made a grand gesture with his hands before slamming the doors in the wake of his exit.

He did have a point there. You sighed, grabbed your documents, and exited the hall. On the way to your room, you decided to give in to the temptation and typed a message to Neil.

“With grief, I have to admit you were right about Jasper”

You were not expecting a response instantly, so the buzz when you were pouring coffee into the cup made you jump up. Neil could make your life harder, even remotely.

“Told you. How is he doing?” you read the reply and grinned at the casual tone.

“He’s grumpy and hates you for some reason. Can’t wait to be stuck with him for three weeks” you sighed and accepted the grim fate.

“Sounds like him then. You never know, you might bond over your shared hatred for me”

You nearly choked on your coffee then. A fellow agent passing by on the corridor stared at you. This could only get worse.

“Think my hatred towards you has nothing compared to his. Any ideas why he’s like that?”

“Nothing concrete, but I’ve got a few vague theories. I’ll tell you when I’m back”

“Hope so. What time is it there?” closing the door to your room, you could finally behave like an idiot.

“Past 11 pm. Excited for your outing with Jasper?”

Asia then… You tried to think about any possible places he could be but came up with too many options.

“Not at all. Fully expecting my days will be spent wandering around Paris alone or watching French HGTV”

You decided to look through the folder to distract yourself from the increasing stress. This time you were supposed to be Amelia Morgan, wife to Nicholas Morgan. Amelia’s occupation was being an accountant, which sounded extremely boring, but at least you would get to experience the city. Your study was then interrupted by another text.

“You can always message me if you’re bored”

Tempting.

“Careful because I might”

“You better” To that, you did not know what to say,. so you just got lost in the preparations for the mission. This one was not looking good but there was no other choice. So you just focused on learning about your target. At least this time, there was no one to distract you.

Until another text came, a solid hour later.

“One clue about Jasper: Anna”

Oh not her again.

“Don’t tell me he’s hopelessly in love with her”

“Perhaps… And well, she has eyes for someone else so” and then “Not to be smug naturally”

You grinned at the screen.

“You do sound smug”

You had to admit that if Neil’s theory was true, it was rather heart-breaking for both Anna and Jasper. Not that you felt sorry for either of them.

“He might decide to take revenge upon me by breaking your heart”

You stared at the text and the many implications he could have meant it by it. And it was too much to figure out right now. Instead, you just typed back:

“Good luck to him” and then, with heart thumping wildly “Would you care if he did?”

You tried to ignore the phone when the answer came. But after an agonising minute spent reading the same two words over and over, you gave in.

“Maybe”

Right… You just had to add that question to the long list for when he’s back. You closed the folder with a flourish. All mental coherence was gone.

*** It turned out that Neil was not right about everything. If Jasper ever intended to claim and then break your heart, he was utterly shit at it. Since the day you moved into your cosy Parisian flat, he barely spoke a word to you. Most of the time, he was buried nose deep in the mission briefs or books related to strategies and secrets of arms dealing. If you had tasks to complete, he would often sideline you before doing the job himself while ignoring any help you offered. To put it straightforwardly, he pissed you off.

And yet, his eagerness to be entirely self-dependent meant that you had time to discover Paris and relax while still completing the mission in any way you could. You also had more than enough time to text Neil, who always responded to your messages promptly. You sometimes wondered if he ever slept or did anything but talk to you. Not that you did mind, of course.

Your patience towards Jasper, his silence and superiority complex snapped for the first time after a week and a half. You have both been sitting in the living room of your condo, just after finishing quiet dinner. You were bored, extremely so. You have reached for the television remote with the intent to put on some background noise to ease the tension. But the moment you have switched the tv on, Jasper spoke:

“Don’t turn this shit on, it’s distracting” he has not even lifted his head from the folder he was studying.

You glared at him sharply and decided that you have had enough.

“Distracting from what? It’s not like you’ve not read this at least five times today already”

That made him look up. And he was not happy.

“I’m working. You should try that sometimes” he eyed you pointedly.

“I would if you ever gave me a chance to do anything” you shrugged, already not liking the conversation.

“I gave you a few opportunities, but you were just lazy” he placed his documents aside and went back to glaring at you “All you do is knock around Paris and stay on your phone for hours” a vicious smile appeared on his face “You’re texting Neil, aren’t you?”

You were taken aback by the whole situation and unable to deny the truth. “Even if I am, that’s none of your business” you were desperately hoping he would shut up.

But it was too late, and Jasper has clearly been triggered.

“That’s quite pathetic. You should know he never actually cares about all those girls he flirts with” he seemed to judge you “And I don’t see why you could be different” the smug smile was cruel.

Now you knew why it was better when he stayed quiet. You scrambled for any words of defence, but he managed to hit the mark. Swallowing hard, you schooled your face and replied in the most neutral tone you could muster at the moment.

“I think you’re just pissed Anna prefers Neil over you”

That worked. You watched with satisfaction as his eyes widened, and you silently thanked Neil for the information.

“Anna has nothing to do with this” it was his turn to stumble over the words “You’re just unwilling to face the truth” this time his harsh words lacked the sureness.

You were winning.

“So are you” you shrugged “I’ve had enough of this. You can go back to your precious mission briefs” you got up and left the room without a further glance.

You had to admit that his words did upset you. Even when you almost certainly knew he was wrong your brain had its own doubts. Because what if he was right? That would hurt, more than you could acknowledge.

But before you could begin the overthinking, the phone you threw onto the bed buzzed. He always knew when to message.

“How’s married life with Jasper going?”

And naturally, he always asked the right questions too. You did hate him for that.

“Now I know why it’s better he reads his documents instead of talking” you replied and debated what to do next.

“What did he do?” Neil quickly texted back even though you were pretty sure it was early morning hours for him.

You did not want to get into a serious conversation over the texts.

“He got a bit riled up and said some bullshit that wasn’t fun to listen to” that seemed like an easy way out for now.

“Do you want me to send a team to eliminate him? It would look like an accident”

You laughed at the tempting proposition.

“I’ll think about it”

“Are you alright?” you stared at the new message.

You were not exactly alright.

“I will be”

Why did lying feel so bad?

You switched off the lights in the room and lied on the bed. Just a week and a half to go. You’ve got this… right?

*** The last week in Paris passed in relative peace. Mostly because you and Jasper stopped speaking to each other entirely. Occasionally you would notice his cruel smirk appear when he caught you texting, and you did your best to ignore it. However, it did hurt, and you had to admit that one argument has managed to uproot all the confidence you have had.

Peace ended abruptly on the penultimate day when it became clear that you were being followed. Jasper caught on to the fact after he noticed someone shadow you on your walk through the city. You hid in one of the cafes as soon as he has signalled the fact to you. You knew he was right the moment a random man peered into the darkened premises and then went on to loiter nearby.

“Right, what do we do?” you looked around, trying to stay calm.

It seemed like no one else was onto you. Jasper already looked pissed off, and you wondered if it meant that more pleasant things would be said.

“I suspect they’ve got doubts about the authenticity of our story” he was intensely scanning the horizon, looking for any threats “He’s still there, waiting for us to blow the cover or prove him wrong” he turned to you with the most unhappy face you have ever seen.

“What is it?”

You were not sure you wanted to know the answer.

“We made it this far. I’m not letting them fuck it up” he leaned towards you and closed the gap.

You were frozen in horror before your brain caught up with the fact that Jasper was kissing you. Then you closed your eyes and tried to reciprocate with the minimum effort needed for it to look believable. It was pretty horrible, to put it simply. He was kissing you sloppily with a tempo that you could not match. You felt his hand clumsily entangle in your hair only to make you flinch when he ripped out a few hairs. After a solid 30 seconds long snog, you decided that had enough. You leaned back, ignoring the overwhelming urge to wipe your lips with the napkin. He stared at you briefly with that same disgusted face before discretely looking for your trail. The man was gone. You could only hope it worked as you exited the café, holding hands.

On the way back to the apartment, you refused to look at him, somehow hoping that would get rid of the awful way you felt. Naturally, being a spy did involve doing things like that but for some reason, it was not easy. You hated the fact that your brain kept on rewinding memories from New York and, in the process, making you feel worse. Once you made it back, you locked yourself in the room, leaving Jasper to fill in the report. You were tempted to message Neil just for the sake of knowing his thoughts on what happened.

“Today was my lucky day, and I got to experience PDA with Jasper. Send help”

That would do nicely, right?

“Must say I didn’t expect that”

As you were desperately looking for something to text back, your phone did something you did not expect it to do. It rang. You stared in shock as Neil’s number flashed as the caller ID. With a shaking hand, you picked up the phone and pressed the green button.

“Neil?” your voice sounded incredibly awkward.

Great start.

“What happened?” hearing his voice after those three weeks felt surreal.

Was it your imagination, or did he sound slightly tense?

“Um… we were being followed outside, so we entered a café. The tail was observing us and…” you took a deep breath, suddenly extremely nervous “And Jasper decided to kiss me to authenticate the cover”

Neil was silent, and that did not help with the irrational anxiety, so you rambled on, losing control of what you were saying.

“Well, it was more of a snog judging by how it lasted for thirty seconds, but I think they bought…”

“Okay, stop” he interrupted you abruptly “I’m not sure I want to know the details”

“Why not?” somehow out of the mixture of anxiety and insecurity, annoyance emerged “Are you jealous?”

You regretted the question as soon as it left your mouth. And did not want to know the answer. Luckily he did not respond. Instead, he did what Neil does best:

“Who’s a better kisser?”

You could not believe the nerve of this man.

“You can’t be for real” you muttered and heard him chuckle on the other side.

“It’s a legitimate question” you could picture the shrug and a cheeky smile.

It seemed like the initial awkwardness was gone. At least for him.

“I…” you huffed, unable to express the mess of emotions you felt.

“Oh, I know it’s you, but I’m asking about me and dear Jasper”

If he were in front of you, you would have punched him. But instead could only let out a frustrated groan and attempt to answer the question. There was only one way to do it.

“You” you mumbled, making sure your voice was barely coherent.

But of course, he heard you.

“I’m flattered” he had the smug tone nailed to the t.

“Fantastic” you sighed “Why did you call me?”

“I just wanted to hear your voice”

“Right”

“And to get you to answer the question”

“Of course” you sighed again “Now I should finish before Jasper barges in” That was partially an excuse, partially a real concern as you glanced nervously at the thin doors separating the rooms.

“Sure, don’t want you upsetting your husband. However, I’d love to see his face when he hears that I kiss better than him” Neil mused, and you gave yourself the liberty to just listen to his voice.

“Well, I’m not telling him that so feel free to do so when you meet up”

Your ears perked up at the sound of footsteps in the hall. Surely Jasper would not eavesdrop on you…?

“I’ve got to go, bye Neil” you hoped your tone sounded at least half as urgent as you felt.

“Goodbye, love. Don’t let that idiot get to you”

“I’ll try”

You hung up just as the doors to the bedroom opened. Sure enough, Jasper was stood there, with a scowl on his face.

“What were you doing?”

“Just being pathetic, I guess” you shrugged and walked past him without a glance.

#tenet #neil tenet #neil tenet x reader #neil x reader #neil tenet imagine #neil tenet fanfic #tenet fanfic #robert pattinson #the art of inversion

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laurafett · 3 years

Text

Prisoner

PART ONE

Boba Fett x f reader

- You are a prisoner in Boba’s palace and don’t know why. After trying to break out the guards bring you to Boba himself and he is not happy with your behavior -

No mentions of pronouns, hair or skin color, sexuality.

Minors, do NOT interact!!

Warnings: smut, angry sex, thigh riding, degrading, guns, p in v (wrap it before you tap it), cum in v

_________________________

This was not the way you wanted this to go. Your plan went miserably wrong, to say the least. But who could have known that he had guards in every fucking inch of this palace. And who would have thought that those Gamorrean could be so quiet while sneaking up to you. Well, you clearly didn’t.

Now here you were. Your arms in the grip of two guards and on your way to Boba’s personal chambers. You wished they would have just put you back into your cell but no, they had told their boss about your try to break out.

Being a prisoner in the palace of Boba Fett wasn’t the worst way you had ever lived. But it wasn’t exactly all fun and games either. You got enough food, sometimes even some decent things, enough to drink and you were allowed to see the sunlight through your small window.

It still wasn’t a great experience. But as said, you’ve been through worse. For example, there was the time you were on the run from the Empire after you betrayed them. It was bad. You were living in the dirt and did not have enough food or clean water for days. You were completely alone. Not being able to talk to anyone because you didn’t know who to trust. Thank the Maker you didn’t trust anyone. They would have handed you to the Empire in a matter of seconds.

You really thought you could make it after your numerous weeks of hiding. But it turns out that the men Boba hired knew what they were doing. They tracked you for days, following every single one of your steps until they knew when and where to catch you.

There were four of them that had attacked you all at once. You were still half asleep in the pile of mud in which you had made your bed and because of this, they were able to overwhelm you and bring you to their ship.

At the very least, they took care of the knife wound you had sustained after the very one sided fight. It was only a cut in your upper arm, but it was deep and it hurt like hell with all the dirt on your skin directly making its way into the open cut.

After that, they brought you to Tatooine; more specifically to the infamous Boba Fett himself. You had heard about his success at the overtaking of Jabba's old palace but you never thought you would ever meet him, not thinking you were of any importance to ever be in his presence. But it seemed like you were wrong about that.

Until now, you’d only met him once. It was the day his men dragged you out of the ship and into the palace. It was bigger than you expected. So many different rooms and floors but everything looked the same. Every wall had the same sandish colour and all doors were identical. You really wondered how the people here knew where they were going.

Just like now. The corridor you just walked through looked like everything else. Plain, boring, not even a sign or anything to show in which direction you had to go.

In the two weeks you’ve spent here, you would’ve probably not been able to memorize any room or stairs. You would’ve probably become lost every time you set a foot out of your cell. Thank the Maker again you were not allowed to leave the tiny room.

You laughed at yourself at how ridiculous that sounded.

One of the Gamorreans pulled at your arm, babbling something in Huttese, which you could only assume translated to “shut up”.

Your hands were cuffed behind your back while they dragged you through the dark floor. Maybe you should’ve been nervous about your encounter with the feared bounty hunter but at this point in your life you weren’t afraid of much anymore. As long as the Empire would not get any hold of you, you knew that you would be some kind of safe.

It seemed like your walk was about to end when the creatures took one last turn into a corridor that only led to one door. This one actually looked different than the others. It was bigger and had a different style of code pad beside it. You couldn’t see it properly but you were pretty sure it was thicker too.

A grunt left your mouth when both pulled at your arms to make you stop. You shot a death glare at the guard to your left which only earned you a growl in response.The other one stepped forward and pressed one of the buttons beside the door before he went back to your side, reconnecting his grip at your arm.

Some seconds later the door opened, leading into a room that looked, no surprise to anyone, exactly like all the others. Not daring to make a move, you waited for someone to tell you what to do.

After some moments of silence, the Gamorreans by your side got impatient and started swearing. They pushed you into the direction of the door, not caring if they would hurt you or touched your still sensitive wound. When they finally managed to push you through the open door, they gave you one last shove and a grumble before they turned around.

“Nee choo sleemo!” Was all you managed to say before the door closed right in front of your nose.

“I didn’t know you could speak Huttese.” A dark voice caught your attention.

You turned into its direction and saw Boba. He sat in a big seat, right in front of a big massive stone table. It had the same colour as the walls.

“Only a little bit.” You said and your eyes started to wander. This must have been his office. But the only thing that told you this was the big table, some chairs and a great amount of shelves with different kinds of paper on them. The rest was just as simple as anything else in the palace.

There was a door on his right side, but it was closed. Probably the door to his private chambers. An enormous window was above him, allowing to paint the room in sunlight during the daytime.

“You should sit down.” Cutting through your thoughts, your eyes flicked back towards his direction.

A little hesitant, you walked up to him. You weren’t afraid of what was going to happen but you were confused at how calm he was. You actually expected to be yelled at and that he might beat you up. Maybe that would still happen but for now you just wanted to follow his orders.

Your foot kicked one of the chairs in front of you so you were able to take a seat. Boba wore his helmet, so you couldn’t make out any kind of facial expression he may have had at your actions. But your eyes stayed on the part of his visor where you thought his would be.

The silence between the two of you was not uncomfortable. It was more like a contest of who would be able to stay silent the longest. The man had his hands intertwined on the table in front of him. You weren’t even able to hear him breathe.

“Do you know why you are here?” His words suddenly broke the tension.

“I would guess it’s because I tried to break out?” The sarcastic tone in your voice made the bounty hunter chuckle. It was a deep sound rumbling through his chest and for a second you even thought that you just imagined it.

“No. Not because of this.” His body relaxed a little and he leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “I knew that the day would come when you would try to run away. You are too smart for the old code systems here.”

You furrowed your brows in confusion.

“You did?” Feeling the tension getting less with every second you tried to get a more comfortable position in your seat. He started nodding slightly.

“Yes I did. You tricked the Empire, why wouldn’t you be able to get through the basic systems here? That’s why I told the guards to stay close to your door. So you couldn’t leave the palace.”

Shrugging your shoulders and nodding, you signal that his points actually made sense.

“But I want to know if you know why you are here, on Tatooine. In my palace.” His helmet nudged into your direction.

“Well… “ You started, trying to think of the only reason why you could be here. “If I had to guess again, I would say I am here because you want to hand me over to the Empire to get the credits for me as a bounty.”

Tilting your head, you kept what you assumed was eye contact. It was silent for some moments again, as if he would consider if your idea was better than whatever his was.

“That actually sounds like a good plan, but no. This is not the reason.” He went silent again and just continued to look at your figure. You on the other hand got more confused with every passing moment. If he didn’t want to get the credits for you, why were you here?

“So… Do you want to tell me why I’m here then?” You grew impatient. It was no secret that Boba didn’t talk much, but this was ridiculous. Now that you were here right in front of him, he should also tell you why he kept you in his palace in the first place.

“Don’t be so annoyed. I brought you here so I could finally tell you.”

You weren’t able to see it but under his helmet a smile danced around Boba’s lips. He heard about you way before the incident with the Empire happened. He actually looked for someone with great hacking, fighting and undercover skills like you. And when one of his men brought up your name and the stuff you already did, which caused you to have some credits on your head that already made you interesting for bounty hunters, he knew that he found who he was looking for.

“The person who gave you the assignment to work your way into the Empire and steal the codes from them, did you know who they were working for?”

Slowly, very slowly you got in which direction this was going.

“No, I didn’t know. But I also didn’t care. It was just a job. A very dangerous one and also one I didn’t get enough credits for but still just a job. I don’t need to know every person’s name I work for.” Another chuckle rumbled through his chest, this time you didn’t think you imagined it. It was louder and clearer than the last time.

“That’s what I thought. Well, to make it short, it was me.” Your lips pressed together and you nodded. You didn’t know if this was supposed to tell you anything but if it was, you didn’t get it.

“And that is the reason you locked me into a cell for two weeks?” Raising your eyebrows, you looked at his covered face.

A long sight left his mouth. People told him you were cocky but he thought you would have a little bit more respect for him. Both of his hands went up to his helmet. He lifted it up and set it down onto the table.

This was the first time you saw his face. It's not like you had no idea what he looked like, you saw holographs of the clones before. You knew Boba was more a son to Jango Fett than a clone, you heard it in stories, but you still knew that he looked like the others.

You looked at the scars on his face, the way the skin around them was more pale than the rest of his face. He looked older than he was, probably due to his encounter with the sarlacc pit. His facial features were rustic and strong. And his dark brown eyes looked directly into yours.

“The reason why I locked you away was because you were in trouble. Everyone is looking for you. And even though you did a good job at hiding, there would have been no way you could keep doing this much longer.”

“So you thought it would be a good idea to kidnap me and throw me into your own personal prison?” An annoyed expression washed over his face.

“No. I thought it would be a good idea to hide you here. After all, it’s still my fault that the Empire is after you.” You rolled your eyes while a smile tugged at your lips.

“Oh, you, the great Boba Fett, Kind of the Underworld, is worried about someone who did a job for him. That definitely makes sense.” It was possible to see that the man got fed up. His expression hardened and his eyes got darker.

“I wasn’t worried! There is just no need for more unnecessary deaths. I took over this place for a reason!” Boba’s voice got louder with every word he spoke. His hands were already balled into fists.

For some reason this was very funny to you. A bounty hunter who was supposed to have enough patience to hunt people for days, got riled up by someone as unimportant as you. The smile on your lips grew wider.

“Sure. Makes sense.” Your tone was so monoton. You were almost impressed by yourself at how cool you could stay while he was yelling at you.

“You have no right to complain. You had everything you needed. Food, water, even a small bathroom and a nurse who looked after your wounds. If I would have told you why you are here and if you would have been able to leave your room at any time you want, someone would have noticed you and told the Empire. You would be dead by now. Or maybe worse.”

He yelled at you right in the face and all you could do was smirk. It was so ironic that he was the angry one in this situation even though it was supposed to be you. He probably thought you would start yelling at him. And for some reason you liked it. The angry tone in his voice sent a shiver over your body.

“Yes, it’s okay. I get it.” You nodded slightly, still looking at him.

Boba was fed up. He didn’t expect you to fall on to your knees and thank him for your rescue but he brought himself and his business in danger to save your life. And all you did was laugh in his face.

The bounty hunter never met someone like you, someone who had absolutely no respect for him. Especially now that he took over the palace. No one dared to look his way or to say something wrong. If you weren’t so annoying to him he may be impressed.

“You are very ungrateful.” He gritted through his teeth.

“Well, I didn’t ask you to save me.” You said and shrugged your shoulders.

This was enough for him. The disrespect you brought up against him made him lose his temper. He stood up, walked around the table, pulled his blaster out and held it against your forehead.

The cold metal of the weapon pressed against your skin. A wave of adrenalin washed through your body and made the tips of your fingers tingle. Familiar heat spreads into your lower stomach, almost making you laugh. Of course, you get turned on by a man holding a blaster to your head.

“You better keep your mouth shut or I will change my mind and kill you right here and now.” His broad figure stood in front of you, dark eyes looking down at you the way a hunter looks at his prey right before they are about to pull the trigger.

The words made their way directly down to your cunt. You could feel the wetness pooling between your legs. Even the sight in front of you didn’t make it any better. His chest raised with every breath he took and his eyes pierced into yours. The look, probably supposed to be a warning, telling you not to mess with him but the only thing it did was to make you even more desperate.

You slightly pressed your thighs together, trying to give yourself at least a little bit of friction but it didn’t work. Biting your lip, to hide the silent moan that was about to escape, you saw that Boba knew exactly what you were trying to do. His eyes went down to your thighs for a second before shooting back up to yours.

A smile tugged at your mouth again and this time your eyes darted down for a moment. It was clear to see that the man was just as aroused as you. The outlines of his hardening cock pressed against his dark trousers.

Bringing your eyes back up to him, you smiled.

“Make me.”

In a matter of seconds his other hand was around your throat and squeezed it. He brought his face down to yours so both of you were on the same height.

“You think this is funny, huh? Not having the slightest bit of respect. Maybe I should teach you some manners. Hm? What do you think, little one? Should I teach you how to behave?”

The smile on your face was gone now, but you enjoyed this no less. With an enthusiastic nod you gave him your consent.

“Use your fucking words. I know what a kriffing smart mouth you have.” He spoke the words through his teeth, too angry and turned on to hide it any longer.

“Yes. Fuck, yes I want you to teach me some respect, Boba.” His grip around your throat let loose and he got back up, so that he looked down at you again.

“That’s right. Good girl.” He drew the gun away from your face and walked back over to the other side of the table, sitting down in his big armchair.

The nickname made your body tingle in anticipation. Following every move he made, your look fell onto his spread legs. His thick thighs covered almost every inch of the seat while the bulge in his pants grew bigger within seconds.

“Come here.”

Carefully you tried to stand up. You didn’t really trust your legs at this moment, too weak to hold your full weight with the way they already shivered a little bit. Slowly you walked up to him, never breaking eye contact.

When you stood beside him you could see how he mustered your body up and down.

“Strip.” His voice was demanding. Not asking you to do it, instead he was commanding you.

“I can’t. My hands are still cuffed.” Turning around you waved your hands to demonstrate to him that you really weren’t able to move them.

Facing him again, you saw a small smirk tugging at his lips.

“What a pleasant surprise. Maybe we should keep it that way.” The man’s fingers went down to his belt and fumbled with something you couldn’t see.

While waiting for his next move, you tried to hold yourself back from rubbing your thighs together. You still didn’t know how fast he was able to make you feel this way but there was something about him, something so raw and exciting, you really couldn’t describe it.

The way his broad figure took over this whole armchair and left no room for anything else. The thought that he could overwhelm you in no time and make you regret any of your decisions you did in the past ten minutes.

He was dangerous, every part of his body probably stronger than yours. Boba was one of the most feared men in the galaxy and yet you stood here with wet panties and the thought about his dick in your cunt.

“There we go.” His left hand pulled out a vibro knife from his belt. “Don’t move.” And with one swift move he slid the knife under your shirt, pulled it down and cut it in the middle.

A soft whimper left your mouth when the air hit your naked skin. Boba’s eyes devoured you. They were glued to your breasts, looking at them so intensely that you almost felt uncomfortable.

Like he was in trance he put the knife down and his hands started working on your pants. You helped him by shaking your legs so it would be easier for him to pull them down.

After he opened the button, he hooked his fingers into the waistband and pulled your trousers down, taking your panties right with them. Trying to get rid of your shoes, you managed to get out of the pants and kick them to the side.

His eyes followed your loose clothing and spotted the wet spot in your underwear.

Now you stood in front of him, nacked aside from your ripped shirt still hanging around your upper body. His look burned into your skin, not letting his eyes move from any inch of your skin until he was sure he saw everything.

Both of his hands reached out and grabbed your ass. He pulled you towards him, sitting you down on one of his thighs. The cold beskar sent a shiver over your body and pressed almost painfully against your heat.

“So this is what holding a loaded blaster to your head does to you? You fucking whore.” Two of his fingers gripped your chin and pointed your face into his direction. “I’m gonna tell you what to do now and you are going to listen to me and do it. Do you understand me?”

You hummed, nodding to let him know that you understood but you quickly found out this wasn’t what he wanted. His fingers left your chin and slid down to your throat. He squeezed it so hard that you got dizzy for a split second.

“I told you to use your kriffing words and I’m not going to repeat myself.” The grip loosened again.

“Y-yes, yes. I’m sorry. I- I will do anything you tell me.”

A smile danced across his lips and you could feel his hard cock twitching against your leg.

“Good. Ride my thigh until you cum all over it.” He brought his hand back down, laying it over his bulge.

You were so turned on and needy that you wasted no more time. Trying to find a good rhythm you rubbed your wet cunt against the beskar on his leg. It was hard to find any kind of friction because your slick heat just slipped over the metal.

“Fuck I-” Swearing you tried to find a part of the beskar shield that had some roughness.

It was clear to see that Boba enjoyed seeing you struggling. His eyes were pinned to the place where you tried to find some release.

“I- I can’t. It just doesn’t work.” Your voice sounded breathy and high, almost as if you were about to cry.

“Oh Princess, I know you can do it.” His voice was filled with amusement.

Giving it one more try, you scooted up higher, closer to the upper half of his body. Finally you could feel the end of the plate. You slowly started to rub your clit on the space between his pants and the beskar.

Low moans rumbled in your throat. Slowly moving your hips back and forth, you were able to find a good pace. The heat in your lower abdomen started to grow and you couldn't hold back the sounds coming from your mouth.

Both of your hands twitched, desperately wanting to hold on to something. Your movements became faster as you felt the pleasure finally building itself up. Through your almost closed eyes you could see how Boba palmed himself through his pants. An even louder moan escaped you as your thoughts wandered to the feeling of his dick inside of you.

You let your head fall back, trying to concentrate only on your release. It was close, you could feel it.

Suddenly a hand pushed your head back up and you looked directly into Boba’s eyes.

“Look at me when you cum. Show me that you deserve my cock.” His words almost sent you over the edge. The raspy voice made its way straight down to your core and you could feel that you were almost there.

Feeling your clit pulsing, you tried to grind down harder. Your pace got slower but the feeling was more intense. The man’s hand was still at the back of your head, giving you at least a little bit of hold.

Your chest heaved with every breath you took and there still seemed to be no air in your lungs. His dark eyes bore into yours, giving you a warning. Telling you to better do as he had said.

Several parts of your body began to tingle at the same time. You were so close. You just needed a bit more encouragement.

“Please, Boba. Tell me- ah fuck. Tell me to cum.” Sounding like you were about to die of thirst, you plead at him. His voice was the last thing you needed to finish.

“Cum.” He was quiet, almost seemed bored, as if you haven’t been sitting on his leg and using it to get yourself off for the last couple minutes. “Now!” Suddenly you felt a sharp slap against your ass.

Your legs began to shake around his and you pressed them together. A loud gasp left your mouth, inhaling so much air at once that your mouth felt dry. Shoulders tensing and eyebrows furrowing, you did your best to not look away from him.

Your toes curled against the sandy floor, your fingernails dug into your palms and whines drooled out of your mouth. Every muscle in your body was active.

Slowly you started to calm down again. Relaxing your shoulders, you tried to take control over your breathing. You heard your heartbeat in your ears and almost felt the blood rushing through your veins.

“See.” The low sound of his voice broke through your clouded mind. “I was right. Now, come up and straddle me. You deserve a small reward for doing so well.”

A mischievous expression painted his face. With all the strength you had in your leg, you pulled it up and brought it on the outside of his other thigh. His hands went directly to your ass and grabbed your cheeks. He moved your slick heat over the outlines of his cock.

Moaning, you looked down and saw his still covered member. With slow movements you grinded down on him, making him hiss through his teeth. Another sharp slap landed on your ass, but this time it was the other side.

“Did I tell you to move?” The high pitched scream that left you echoed through the whole room.

“No, fuck. No, you didn’t. I’m sorry.” You whined and looked at him with dove eyes.

“That’s right.” One of his hands moved to his pants and unbuttoned it. His eyes still on your face as he pulled his hard cock out of his trousers.

Eyes widening, you looked down at his dick. He was thick, really thick. For a second, you even doubted that he would fit inside of you. The hand on his member slowly started to pump himself. With the pad of his thumb, he collected the precum on his tip and brought his hand up.

Without a second thought, you raised your head and opened your mouth. Boba smirked as he pushed his thumb into it. Immediately you wrapped your lips around him and started sucking. The salty sensation on your tongue made you moan.

“I am going to fuck you now and you will take it, just like the good little slut you are. But don’t cum without my permission, you heard me?”

“Yes.” You tried to say with his thumb still sitting in your mouth.

He grabbed the base of his cock with his other hand and brought it to your cunt. With a nod of his head he signaled you to lift yourself up, so he could bring it into the right position.

A croaky sound rumbled through his chest when his tip came in contact with your wet folds. He tried to coat his cock with your slick as much as possible before lining himself up at your entrance.

The hand that was holding himself up now went to your hip, pushing you down onto him. The first few inches stretched you out like you have never been before. He looked back up at your face as you whined at the feeling. Seeing your pained expression, he began to move much slower.

He was halfway inside of you when the pain slowly turned into pleasure. The closer your hips got, the faster your breathing became. Just a few more inches before he was fully seated inside of you and the thought made you clench around him.

A silent chuckle escaped him when he felt you tightening. Not wasting anymore time he took things into his own hands and pushed himself up so he bottomed out.

Eyes wide and mouth hanging open in pleasure you looked at the man in front of you and saw that his eyes were glued to the place where both of you met. You slightly moved your hips ripping an adenoidal sound from him before he raised his head to lock his eyes with yours.

You looked at him with a pleading expression silently asking him to move. Instead he brought both of his hands to rest on the sides of his armchair.

“You better start moving, Princess. Or otherwise I will become impatient.” His voice was just as steady as before showing no sign of being buried balls deep in your pussy while you were sure that right now you wouldn’t be able to speak a single word.

The attempt of bouncing yourself on his dick in a steady rhythm went completely wrong. Without being able to hold onto something you had to use your legs, which was almost impossible in this position.

You didn’t dare to look him in the eyes, already feeling his burning stare and anger on your sweaty skin. Boba didn’t move. He sat, still waiting for you to figure out how to fuck him properly but you couldn’t.

Tears of frustration started to form in the corner of your eyes. You knew if you kept going like this he would not be happy.

“I’m really disappointed. For someone who is so sure about themselves you are a really bad fuck.” Your eyes pressed close, causing the tears to make their way down your face.

“Are you crying? Pathetic. Maybe I should hand you over to the Empire now that I know that there is absolutely no use for you here.” The breath you held escaped your mouth with a pitiful sound and your tear covered vision tried to focus on him.

A mischievous smile painted his lips, showing you that he was having way too much fun seeing you fail the only order he gave you. You almost felt embarrassed. After talking to him like he was some random nerf herder and showing him that you were not afraid of him, now you were sitting on his cock, crying because you weren’t able to move your body the right way.

“Now what? You want to end this and go back to your cell or will you prove to me that you can follow orders and maybe get better treatment here?” It was almost as if he spit the words at you. There was no single sign of respect or empathy in his tone.

But you came too far to accept something like this.

Straightening your back, you brought all your strength into your legs and forced your knees to lift you up. You brought yourself up as high as possible, almost making him slip out of you. The tears cleared from your sight and you did your best to not break eye contact.

In one swift motion, you bounced back down onto him, letting out a high pitched moan when his member hit the spot deep inside of you. Not being able to hold back, Boba let out a grunt, almost automatically bringing his hands back to your hips.

You tried to keep this pace, bouncing up and down his dick, moaning and whimpering the entire time at the feeling of Boba inside of you. Dark and breathy sounds left him, showing you that what you did was working.

The man stared at your breasts until his face went forward and he captured one of your nipples into his mouth. Surprised by the sudden stimulation, you broke your rhythm, throwing your head back with your mouth open with a silent moan.

A sharp sting on your ass made you come back from your hazy state and forced a surprised but obscene sound out of you. You felt his cock twitch inside of you at the ring of your voice. Your head came back up after you heard him say your name.

His angry painted face stared right at you.

“I didn’t tell you to slow down.” He gritted through his teeth. His words sent a wave of white pleasure through your body and you shivered slightly.

You wanted to bring yourself up again but at this point your body was so exhausted and weak that you couldn’t bring up the strength to lift yourself up.

“Move. Now.” The words sounded more like a threat than a command. But even though you could feel that he got impatient with the way his hands gripped you tight, surely leaving marks there, you just didn’t have it in you anymore.

Legs still shaky from your previous orgasm you did the best you could do and grind down on him; moving your hips in circles to get at least a little bit of friction. You were probably just as close as he was but without the steady movements of his dick sliding inside and out of you, hitting that one spot deep inside of you, you knew you weren’t going to be able to finish.

At this point, your only fear was that he would push you away. Leave you needy and aching for some release while he would just go back to what he was doing before.

A moan escaped you when your clit brushed over the small amount of pubic hair that was not covered by his clothes.

“Boba, please.” You almost whispered. A shiver running over his body at the way you said his name.

“What is it, princess? You want to apologize for talking to me like you probably do to any random boy in a cantina just because you are pretty and think you deserve better? Or do you need something else?” His tone was so low, so rough and mocking at the same time. He wanted you to feel bad about what you did. He thought it was amusing seeing you squirming like this, waiting for some release.

“Please fuck me.” The way he stared at you was intense. He made you feel so small on top of him like he could do to you whatever he wanted and to be completely honest, he could. In this moment you would do anything.

Living the life of someone who was always on the run or searching for new jobs and a way to get money you never had time for relationships. Only some short, rough encounters with strangers in shitty motels, cantina bathrooms or dark allies.

But even after all this time, no one made you feel so sensitive than him. Your body felt like it was electric, feeling every little shiver and hot wave of pleasure almost twice as intense as normal.

You knew that this would leave a mark, burning its way into your memories but not in a bad way. Even though Boba was mean and rough he knew what he was doing and you wanted to make sure to experience every single part of it.

His eyes were still pointed at you. Dark, blown pupils boring into yours. You could feel his cock moving inside of you at the words that just left your mouth.

Both of you sat in silence for some moments. You were sure he would tell you to go. To put on your clothes and order you to leave, go back to your dirty prison.

But instead, he slung his hands around your thighs to lift you up so that your arms and back were pressed against the table and started pounding into you.

You screamed at the fast pace he set from his first move, not able to control the sounds that left your mouth when he hit that sensitive spot inside of you.

“You really are a little brat, you know that?” His mouth was so close to your ear you could feel his lips brushing your skin. “I brought you here to save your life, you talk down to me like I am no one and you still want me to do all the work even now.”

Arching your back, you brought yourself closer to him. You were so close but you knew that you were not allowed to cum without his permission.

“Fuck. Boba I’m-” You couldn’t even finish your sentence because an especially hard thrust made your eyes roll back and pushed all the air out of your lungs.

“No. Not yet. You wait till I tell you to let go.” His face was buried in the crook of your neck and his panting breath made your already hot skin heat up even more.

Every part of your body was bouncing against his armor. The rough material stimulating your hard nipples while you tried to focus on the feeling in your lower stomach. With every thrust the heat spread through your whole body, making your fingertips and toes tingle.

All of your surroundings went blurry. The only thing you could focus on was the man inside of you. His cock hit your spot every single time and you were sure you were about to pass out.

One of his hands came up and started to rub fast and small circles over your clit, making you yelp. You were so close at the edge, not sure how long you would still be able to hold it back.

“So you want to cum, huh, princess?” He breathed into your ear. You nodded eagerly, forcing yourself to speak even though your throat was as dry as the dunes on Tatooine.

“Yes. Oh Maker, yes, Boba, please.” You could hear him chuckle between the dark grunts coming from his mouth.

“Then cum.” About to let go, you could hear him talking again. “But I want to hear you scream. Scream my name and let everyone in this goddamn palace know who makes you feel so good.”

And then you snapped. The second orgasm washed over you, even harder than the first one. Making your legs tighten around his waist while the rest of your body shook uncontrollably. You couldn’t tell how loud your voice was as a white noise clouded your mind and your senses.

Your head was empty and your body almost numb when you started to come down from your high. Boba still pounded into you, slowly overstimulating you. Opening your eyes you could see that he stood in front of you now.

Putting both of your legs over one of his shoulders, he smirked down at you. In that position he could reach even deeper parts of you and your eyes started to tear up. It was too much for you.

“Where do you want my cum?” You could hear him speak through his still fast movements. His forehead glistened with sweat.

“In me. I- fuck. I’m safe.” Boba grunted at your words. His pace sped up for one last time before you could hear him moan above you and feel his seed filling you up. The sounds he made were almost animalistic while he closed his eyes and threw his head back.

His movements got slower until he stopped completely. Both of you breathed heavily, trying to come down from your heights.

He was the first to move again by bringing your legs back down. Then he slowly pulled himself out of you, making a strangled noise. The feeling of suddenly being so empty felt almost weird to you. As if you weren’t used to it.

The man fell down into his seat, rubbing his hand over his face. When his look fell on your now swollen pussy, leaking with his release he could almost feel his cock twitch again. Shaking his head, he brought his member back into his pants before he could get hard again.

He still couldn’t draw his look away from your blissed out form. Laying on his table, completely naked, filled with his release and a panting mess. He was proud of himself.

Boba stood up and left you for a moment. You thought, even if you tried to move, you weren’t sure if your body would actually do so. All of your limbs felt weak and soft, as if you didn’t have a single bone in your body.

Your mind was still clouded, trying to process what just happened. This was the most intense orgasm you’ve ever had and you were sure you would still be able to feel it for at least some days.

The man came back from a different room with a damp washcloth in his hands. He tried to be careful while cleaning you up but you still hissed at the contact with the uneven material, still extremely sensitive. After that, he brought one of his hands to your back and slowly pushed you into a sitting position.

Your shoulders hung low and your eyelids were heavy, too exhausted to thank him. He vanished from your vision again but you didn’t care. Only after some silent seconds, you could feel him tug at your arms as he released your hands from the cuffs. A relieved sound came from you as you started to rub your wrists.

Boba stopped in front of you one more time, handing you a black fabric. Not sure what to do with it you looked up at him in confusion.

“Put this on. You can leave your ripped shirt here.” With aching arms you did your best to slide out of the rest of your shirt and put on the one he gave you. It was too big but at least you weren’t naked anymore.

Standing up, you needed a moment until your legs stopped shaking. The man side eyed you. He couldn’t help himself and grin at your fucked out form.

Trying not to fall over, you slipped back into the rest of your clothes.

Completely dressed again you turned around looking at Boba who sat in his chair.

“Fennec will be here soon. She will show you your room.” Raising your eyebrows you looked down at him. He reached into one of his drawers and pulled out a small piece of paper. “This is the code for your room. Don’t lose it and don’t change it.”

You took the note from him and put it into your pocket. He didn’t look at you while he kept talking.

“You can walk around in the palace as much as you want but if someone finds you and tells the empire it’s not my problem anymore, alright?” A smirk crept onto your face. So this is how you can get some freepasses here.

“Alright, Boss.” You said in a slightly mocking tone. Before you were able to turn around and walk to the door, he reached for your sleeve and pulled your upper body down to him.

“Don’t disrespect any of the people in here and if you need something, you only come to me. No one else.” His eyes bored into yours, making sure you understood everything he said.

With your confidence slowly coming back, you brought your face closer to his, almost pressing your lips onto his ear.

“Don’t worry. I will only come to you when I desperately need something.” Your face drew back with a wide smirk dancing around your lips. You tugged your arm away from his grip, turned around and walked to the exit.

About to press the button that opened the door, you turned your head into his direction once more, seeing his look still lingering on you.

“And thank you for the compliment, I know I’m pretty.” With those words you pressed the door open and stepped outside. Almost immediately the door closed behind you. Leaning against it, you waited for Fennec to come and pick you up.

Maybe staying here wouldn't be as bad after all.

(This is going to have more chapters so if you want to be tagged, let me know.)

#boba fett #boba fett x you #boba fett x reader #the book of boba fett #star wars #the mandolarian

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esmeraldablazingsky · 3 years

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I’ve finally hit my limit on the number of bad takes on the Lan parents I can see before I have to lay out all the reasons I disagree, so hello, I’m Blazie, and in this essay I will justify my visceral dislike of the assumption that Qingheng-jun married/imprisoned/had sex with Lan-furen against her will.

Warning for mentions of rape (in context of Interpretations I Really Hate) and a very, VERY long post below the cut.

Before I start going off about the finer points of all this, I want to make sure people are on the same page regarding what we actually know about what went down with Qingheng-jun and Lan-furen. What I say is based off the EXR translation of MDZS, for the sake of clarity, and although I don’t think the exact wording should be too important, feel free to let me know if you think I’ve missed an important bit of nuance or something (the whole story is in Chapter 64.)

The story we get is told by Lan Xichen, and it goes like this: a young Qingheng-jun falls in love at first sight with Lan-furen, who doesn’t return his feelings, and at some point kills one of Qingheng-jun’s teachers over unspecified “grievances.” Although he’s understandably very upset over the murder, Qingheng-jun sneaks Lan-furen back to Cloud Recesses and officially marries her in order to announce to his clan that anyone who wants to hurt her has to go through him.

After that, he locks Lan-furen in one house and himself in another as a form of repentance. Wei Wuxian speculates that this was because “he could neither forgive the one who killed his teacher nor watch the death of the woman who he loved. He could only marry her to protect her life and force himself not to see her.”

A central detail of this story that I think people don’t give the import it deserves is that aside from marrying and protecting her, Qingheng-jun’s other option was to let Lan-furen be executed by his clan. His purpose in marrying her wasn’t just for kicks/out of a possessive sort of love, it was so she wouldn’t straight up die. How she felt about this arrangement isn’t stated, but I’ll get into that in a bit. In addition to that, Qingheng-jun and Lan-furen live separately, which was apparently purposeful on Qingheng-jun’s part, and runs counter to the interpretation that he intended to take sexual advantage of Lan-furen.

Though there aren’t many concrete details in Lan Xichen’s retelling, he does specifically inform Wei Wuxian that his mother never complained about remaining in her house. What exactly this signifies is unclear— whether she was simply putting on a brave face for her sons, or whether she was in fact at all content with the situation— but it at the very least serves to further muddy the waters on how she and Qingheng-jun felt about all this.

Beyond what Lan Xichen and Wei Wuxian are saying out loud, there’s also quite a bit of subtext in this scene, especially in light of later events and revelations, like Lan Xichen’s confession for Lan Wangji at Guanyin Temple.

So what is Lan Xichen trying to convey with all this? There’s a lot of memes about this scene, most of which err too far on the side of Himbo Airhead Lan Xichen for my liking, but one that I do find amusing emphasizes how Lan Xichen draws parallels between Wangxian and the story of his parents (Lan Xichen: [flute solo] please use your one brain cell to connect the dots.) If Wei Wuxian hadn’t completely lost his memory of Lan Wangji defending him against his own clan elders, one would assume that Lan Xichen’s story would have had a much better chance of hitting home.

In hindsight and side by side, the parallels are much clearer— Qingheng-jun, “ignoring the objections from his clan… told everyone in the clan that she would be his wife for the rest of his life, that whoever wanted to harm her would have to pass through him first.” Similarly, according to Lan Xichen in Chapter 99, “for [Wei Wuxian,] not only did WangJi talk back to him, he even met with his sword the cultivators from the GusuLan Sect. He heavily injured all thirty-three of the seniors we asked to come.”

In that context, it makes a lot less sense to interpret Qingheng-jun as an aggressor towards Lan-furen, as in Lan Wangji’s case, the narrative clearly establishes that his actions are to secure Wei Wuxian’s safety. The action of Taking Someone Back To Cloud Recesses is— okay, actually, it’s a little more nuanced than I took into account when I started writing that sentence, so let me go a little deeper into Lan Wangji’s actions and how they relate to his father’s, story-wise.

My intent is not to dive into the terrifying underworld of novel-versus-drama discourse, but simply put, Novel!Lan Wangji as he is written isn’t exactly the poster child for clear consent. (I’m going to entirely leave off the extra chapters for the sake of everyone’s sanity, so I’m just talking about the main body of the novel here.)

He means well, and I’m sure we can agree that he does actually love and want the best for Wei Wuxian, but his lack of communication on this point means that he accidentally gives Wei Wuxian the impression that he wants to imprison and/or punish him in Cloud Recesses at least twice off the top of my head (pre-timeskip, as we know, and post-timeskip immediately after Dafan Mountain when he actually drags Wei Wuxian back to his room.)

That all likely has something to do with MXTX’s narrative kinks and regular kinks and all that, and can absolutely be taken with many grains of salt. However, these events establish how easy it is to misinterpret the action of Taking Someone Back To Gusu as an attempt to imprison rather than protect them (much to Lan Wangji’s chagrin.)

Failing to communicate his purpose to Wei Wuxian doesn’t mean that Lan Wangji actually had any intent of hurting or caging him— that was just a misinterpretation on Wei Wuxian’s part, and we, as the audience, find that out in due time— but as written in the novel, it can be really uncomfortable to read. Because of that, many people choose to accept CQL canon regarding Lan Wangji’s more possessive actions or mix characterization from different adaptations, which, to be clear, I completely understand and respect.

However, Qingheng-jun doesn’t get the benefit of the doubt as often, which I frankly find baffling, because nowhere in the text does it state that Lan-furen objected to being taken back to Cloud Recesses, while even Wei Wuxian clearly objected the first few times. In fact, while we’re on this note, I’ll take it a step farther— I find it baffling that people seem to default to an unsympathetic view of Qingheng-jun, because nowhere in the text does it state that he overruled Lan-furen’s wishes in any way. The text doesn’t clarify a lot of things, actually, and that is part of the point.

The narrators of MDZS are, in many situations, highly unreliable. This is, presumably, very purposeful! MDZS can easily be read as a sharp criticism of reputation and mass judgment and the concept of condemning people without knowing their motives! And I don’t want to sound mean, but guys… did any of us learn anything from that? Here, I’m going to put it in meme format for a second to convey what I mean.

MDZS: It’s easy to condemn someone as a villain if you don’t know their story or the reasons behind their actions

MDZS: Anyway, here’s a character whose story and reasons behind his actions you know nothing about

Some Parts Of This Fandom: Ah, a villain

Memes aside, here’s what I want to point out. It’s entirely possible to assume Qingheng-jun was a bad person who disregarded a woman’s wishes in marrying and confining her when all you have is Lan Xichen’s (actually very neutral, thank you Lan Xichen for being an eminently reasonable and concerned-with-evidence character) account of what happened. It would also be at least that easy to assume Wei Wuxian was just an evil necromancer if he hadn’t un-died and brought his own story to light, or even to believe that Lan Wangji had somehow tamed Wei Wuxian into submission and being a respectable cultivator if you were an average citizen of Fantasy Ancient China with nothing but rumors to operate on.

The thing about Qingheng-jun and Lan-furen’s story, then, is that there is nobody left alive who knows the full tale. Nobody knows what they thought about anything, really. Nobody even knows why Lan-furen killed Qingheng-jun’s teacher. Wei Wuxian asks why, and Lan Xichen can’t tell him, but I think the best answer would be something along the lines of I don’t know, Wei Wuxian, why did you kill people? Your guess on the motivations of your own thinly disguised narrative parallel are as good as anyone’s.

So, while it’s not technically impossible to assign darker motives to Qingheng-jun, the cautionary tale of MDZS seems to warn against that exact assumption.

I’ve refrained from getting too salty on a personal level thus far, but now that I’ve said a lot of the more logical and story-based points of my argument, I will say that at least some of my annoyance with the interpretation of Qingheng-jun as a possessive rapist and Lan-furen as his victim stems from the fact that I just think it’s straight up boring. Where’s the nuance? Aren’t you tired of reducing these characters to the flattest possible versions of themselves? Don’t you just want to add a little flavor?

In a slightly more serious phrasing of that criticism, I find that making Lan-furen a helpless prisoner strips her of whatever agency she might otherwise have. To be fair, she’s more or less a non-character in keeping with the general state of the MDZS universe, but making her a damsel in distress only consigns her more deeply to hapless, milquetoast innocence.

It’s perfectly valid to enjoy ladies who have done nothing wrong, ever, in their lives, but like… Qin Su is right there, if that’s your ball game. There’s also really no need to make Qingheng-jun someone who doesn’t respect women. Isn’t Jin Guangshan enough for at least one universe?

Anyway, ultimately, you do you. I don’t like arguing on the internet, and will just ignore things I don’t agree with (or write an 1800 word vaguepost) like a mature human being. I’m just saying, if it’s a cut and dry tale of imprisonment and assault you’re looking for… you probably don’t want to turn to a woman who committed a murder and a man who loved her enough to forfeit everything to keep her safe.

#mdzs #qingheng jun #madam lan #lan wangji #wei wuxian #(in a narrative parallels context)#blazie .txt #anyway without further ado here is my.... essay?#rape mention

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bandaged-writer · 4 years

Text

gasoline 02 || dazai

➤ Pairing: Mafia! Dazai x Ability User! Reader

➤ Genre: action, fluff, angst, eventual smut, gore, violence

➤ Warnings: nightmare-ish scenes, minor character death, murder, blood/gore, near death experience

➤ Summary: “How the hell am I supposed to trust the words of a mafioso?” At that, Dazai chuckled. “I don’t lie about these things.”

➤ Word count: 6.1k

➤ Note: this is unedited and not proof-read, we die like men. also, feedback is highly appreciated u.u

➤ previous || next

Pure laughter bounced off the sterile tiles that stretched themselves throughout the entirety of the hospital, the light made beating down on the white tiles and making it seem like they glared at anyone who was daring enough to walk down the hallways of this very building. Naked feet padded along the freshly wiped floor, greeting were thrown from left to right by the two children running around. Numbers instead of a name tag were attached to the hospital robe the two wore.

Nurses, doctors and patients swore that this duo brought some vitality into this heavy place, added some sunshine to a dark job which fought for others‘ life and often lost the battle. These children were more than welcome.

“You’ve got to hurry up [Name] or the nurses won’t have any candy left,“ a girl with short, pitch black hair and grey – almost white – eyes pouted as you struggled to keep up with her pace. The number #2692 was attached to her gown, written in bold numbers. You coughed into your elbow and put your palms on your knees, body slightly bent over as you caught your breath. Two weeks ago, your mother had dragged you to the doctor due to fever, heavy coughing and finding it difficult to breathe; the diagnosis was pneumonia and so, your mother had insisted on transferring you to a hospital. “Sorry, Fuyuko,“ a grin was flashed said girl’s way, her own lips twitching upwards. “You know I’m just starting to recover.“ #7843 was attached to your hospital gown which you had grown to dislike. It was a sad, plain white just like everything else in this place.

Luckily, the nurses were kind and developed a soft spot for Fuyuko and you, always sneaking some candy or leftover dessert from the caféteria. Children weren’t allowed to eat sweets. Sugar would make the dosis of antibiotics useless, the doctors said, but it sounded very sketchy to you. After all, dad also ate gummy bears whenever he got sick, so how true was this statement? How much could you trust them? Maybe, you shouldn’t even think about it.

Dressed in a blue uniform, the nurse handed Fyuko a bag of chips and two small packs of gummy bears. “This will remain our secret, though, okay?,“ she spoke in a hushed voice, her eyes attentive to her surroundings in case a doctor was to come around the corner. The two of you nodded in unison, eyes sparkling with gratitude and the innocence only a child had. “Thank you so much!“

After the small excursion to the nurse, you found yourself sitting on the rooftop of the hospital. The smell of green grass and blooming flowers greeted you, birds tweeted among themselves, singing melodies only mother nature would understand like a language. Bees flew through the air, sun rays caressed your cold cheeks and warmed you up from within your core. Spring was a beautiful season and perhaps your favorite one.

After a long, dead winter, Flora and Fauna came back to life.

Ripping open the bag of chips, Fuyuko sat down on the ground with a dull thud reaching your ears and you followed her example. She gave you a handful of the salty treat, the sound of chips crunching filling your skull which made you wonder why the sound of chewing was so much louder than everything around you. You would have to ask dad about it once you were home again; you didn’t like asking mom for she had..what did people call it, again? A hot temper? Yeah, that was it.

“You know, you never told me what you want to be when you grow up,“ Fuyuko said after wiping some salt off her lips and putting her index finger to her chin in thought. Grey orbs observed your curious gaze, trying to figure out what your dream could be, what would suit you. “Hmm..maybe a vet? Or an actress? Wait no!“ The girl was only taking random guesses without putting any effort into it. “A singer!,“ she exclaimed excitedly and clapped her hands together before she invaded your personal bubble, the tip of her nose almost poking yours. You merely snorted at that and put your hands behind your back, leaning your weight back. “That’s ridiculous, Fuyuko. Besides, you never told me what you want to be, either.“

Suddenly, heat rose to the ravenette’s cheek and tinted her pale skin in a light hue of red like fine dust. Eyes fell to the ground in an almost shy manner, Fuyuko’s entire aura almost seemed scared of what you might say to her answer. After all, she was aiming for a big goal. “Well..I want to become the best surgeon in the world. Even better than my dad.“ A grin adorned Fuyuko’s small face as she shared her vision of a hopefully bright and rosy future before her finger poked you right below your collarbone and above your chest, eyes demanding an answer from you now.

Craning your head back, you gazed up at the snow white clouds passing by above you, hoping that they’d write the answer down for you or send you a sign, a clue, no matter how small it was. You couldn’t remember if you ever had a dream job for the future, nothing had ever piqued your interest nor had you ever been exposed to any job. Dad was always at the office from dusk to dawn, making sure that all the bills could get paid while your mother was at home, taking care of you. You had no idea what your mother worked as, you were scared of asking.

“I think it’s my wish to be happy and loved.“

As soon as your wish was spoken, the world got visibly and audibly distorted. Your surroundings were spinning, rain was poured from the clouds above you and somewhere close by, a thunderstorm was making its way towards your current location. Incoherent words bore into your ears and settled down in your brain, making you clutch your ears and curl in on yourself.

“You need to run.“ It was your father’s begging voice.

“Everything is your fault!“ Your mother’s voice, shouting at you as always.

“You were never loved.“ Was this Dr. Ito? Fuyuko’s dad? You couldn’t tell anymore.

“It would’ve been better if you didn’t exist.“ You didn’t recognize this voice.

You woke up in a cold sweat, hairline drenched and several strands of your locks clinging to your skin. Silent tears ran down your cheeks, your shirt stuck to you like a second skin and your heart felt like it was trying to flee from within your ribcage. Slowly but surely, you took in your surroundings one by one and found comfort in reality.

Sunlight began sliding its way into your room, the clock read six am and nothing was out of the ordinary. Pictures still decorated your walls, the desk remained being a mess from past assignments and the curtains were played with by the wind – you had probably forgotten to properly close the window before you had gone to sleep. Finding tranquility within your own four walls, your heart slowly calmed down and you finally took notice of Yukino’s hand on your shoulder, worry being laced into her delicate face.

“Are you okay? I heard you crying in your sleep,“ the familiarity of her voice made you realize that you had been stuck in a nightmare in the form of a ghost of the past. Never had you ever dreamed about your childhood, never had it ever been that haunting, never had any nightmare made you cry. Perhaps, this was a bad omen – the flowers, yesterday’s confrontation and today’s nightmare. All of these events were too odd, too out of place to be considered unfortunate inconveniences; they were the opposite of serendipity - a zemblanity. „Yeah, I’m good,“ you replied, gaze obviously still shaken and maybe even detached as you worked through the possible meaning of the disaster life presented you on a silver platter like a dessert. „It was just a nightmare.“

Flickering lights, faces of people and the rich green of the trees blurred into one unstable image as your body relaxed into the passenger seat of Yukino’s car. The radio song on the radio, Eight by IU, unfortunately became nothing but buzzing noise in your mind as you still dwelled on the nightmare. A shame really, considering you really liked the song and it was the perfect melody to describe the weather: pleasantly warm with a bit of wind.

Why were you so hung up over a mere nightmare? After all, people dreamed about weird things all the time, some dreams were ridiculous and seemingly held no meaning. Dreams were nothing but a brain’s way to process the events in one’s life - may it be their past or the present. There should be no deeper meaning, and yet, you involuntarily got stuck in a vicious cycle of thoughts upon thoughts which desired to twist your day into a negative one.

“Hey, [Name], we’re here,” Yukino snapped her fingers in front of your face and brought you back to reality within a few moments. A cute pout decorated her face, her dark eyes glowing in the light as she seemed to read your mind. You really couldn’t hide anything from her, could you? “Ah, right, the job interview,” checking your appearance in the rearview mirror, you fixed some wild strands of hair and made sure to look as professional as you could. It was an important job interview which would allow you to finally earn proper money and assist Yukino in paying the bills like you had promised just before you had studied abroad.

Yukino took your hands in hers and a smile graced her face as she looked you straight into the eyes. Maybe this was what sincerity looked like: when one’s eyes were clearer than the ocean with no hidden motives buried beneath pitch black pupils. “Look, I know that your nightmare shook you, but you can’t let it hinder you from bagging this job, got it?” It sounded like she was scolding you much like a mother would when her child had one too many cookies and refused dinner as a result. Cute but to be taken seriously. “You’re more than qualified for this job and deserve it more than anyone else. There’s no way you could possibly fail this,” Yukino’s words were soft and full of trust in your own abilities, a kind of trust you unfortunately didn’t have in yourself.

“You really always know what to say, don’t you?,” you chuckled to yourself, got out of Yukino’s car and dusted off your jeans, freeing the material of any pollen that might’ve gotten stuck. Receiving her grin as a reassuring reply, your feet confidently carried you to the marketing agency which wanted to desperately hire you.

The interior of the agency was oddly comfortable. Walls were painted in warm tones varying from beige to dark brown, plants decorated the space and gave the entire surroundings the feeling of a huge living room. White and wooden-colored furniture gifted the surroundings a finishing and modern touch.

“Ah, you must be [Name], right?” The lady was probably in her 30s, black hair tied into a neat ponytail and her face covered in light makeup. Her delicate hand reached out to shake yours in a happy greeting, her reddish lips pulled into a professional yet real smile. One could tell she was a genuine person. “Please, follow me.”

And so, you found herself in her bright office, seated in a comfortable, plush chair while the kind lady looked through your resumé another time, her head nodding one or two times. “Miss, your grades are quite impressive and you majored in business, too, I see. This is very good,” at her praise, a nearly sheepish smile graced your features. Truth be told, you hadn’t often received praise since your mother had disappeared when you were 8 and your father died a few years ago due to a car accident. Yukino was the only source of praise and validation. “Thank you so much, miss,” you bowed your head lightly, still smiling. Your life was finally going right.

“May I ask why you decided to study abroad instead of staying here in Yokohama? There are lots of good universities here,” her tone was in no way intrusive, but rather curious - maybe even on a personal level. “Ah, my dad believed the number 20 came along with a bad omen and advised me to discover something new,” there was no way you could tell her the entire truth about a mafia-ish deal, the flowers and the things you had seen the day before. You doubted she would believe you - such things only ever happened in movies, after all. She laughed at that, a pleasant sound, you noticed. “Elders do tend to hold on to such belfies, don’t they? I understand that very well.” The lady put your resumé aside, kind eyes looking at you with joy sparkling in them. You didn’t expect such a kind person to interview you.

“I’m looking forward to working with you, [Name].”

With one less worry weighing on your shoulders, you thanked the lady for her time, assured her you’d work hard and left her office with a proud grin stretching your lips and a confident, happy swing in your hips.

Funny, what such a little, positive event could trigger within a person. It could turn one’s entire day upside-down for the better or worse, but lady luck seemed to be with you today. What a good feeling it was to feel your heart beat as light as a feather.

Yukino was seated on the hood of her car, her sparkling gaze fixated on the entrance of the agency and anxiously waiting for you to come back. She was probably more excited and more optimistic than you could ever be, but that was why she meant so much to you - compared to you, she was like a mitochondria: an entire power house. “You made it, didn’t you?!” The fair-haired woman came running into your arms and greeted you in a tight hug as if you had been gone for years. Happiness radiated off of her like the sun emitted its rays. “Of course, I did!”

Ushering you into the comfy passenger seat of the car, Yukino suggested a small celebration for your successful interview and that you were finally back home where you belonged.

“After a year, one might think you would’ve overcome your love for chocolate ice-cream,” stuffing a spoonful of vanilla ice-cream into her mouth, Yukino glared at the icy treat in front of you which was decorated with some strawberries and cherries. Delicious for everyone else but the woman sitting opposite of you. “Hah?! And what about your obsession with vanilla ice-cream? You never change, do you?,” accusingly, you pointed your spoon at Yukino who rolled her eyes in surrender and let out a huff of air. Unfair how you knew your roommate better than the back of your own hand. “Tsk, you win this round. But only because I’m letting you,” Yukino teased with a smirk on her lips and giggling as you gave her a thorough are-you-serious-look. “Whatever makes you sleep at night.”

From that point on, the conversation varied widely but still found its focus on your year spent abroad. After all, you had gotten home late the night before and Yukino didn’t want to bombard you with questions when you’d been obviously tired. Questions about the language and food seemed to pique Yukino’s interest the most as well as the educational system which she didn’t really understand. Well, it didn’t matter anyway. Yukino had long since graduated and didn’t have to understand foreign school systems.

“Okay that sounds nice and all, but did you meet anyone special?”

Gulping down a fair amount of your ice-cream, you nonchalantly shook your head at your friend’s question. It was a waste of time, would hinder your career, you had always said, but maybe, the reason why you never brought anyone home went deeper than that, “you know I’m not interested.” A bowl of finished ice-cream stood in front of Yukino, strong arms crossed over her chest. Pleased looked different. “Jeez, you’re so boring. I bet there are lots of people willing to date you if you give them the chance.” Dating had never been a high priority in your life; with the entire anxiety about your dad’s deal going on, you didn’t want anyone to get dragged into the mess which was your family. It was too much for someone ordinary, you reasoned or maybe it was a lame excuse.

“Anyways,” you bit into a juicy strawberry and let the sweet taste flood your strawberries. Whoever invented fruits deserved to be kissed. “What did you do to the flowers last year?,” it was innocent curiosity since you had never received or saw a bouquet of orange lilies for your 20th birthday. By the time that day came around, you were already abroad, studying and looking for a job in Yokohama for the day you’d finally return. “I gave them back to a bandaged man. He was very kind,” Yukino recalled the memory of a male brunette, very handsome and charming. “I think he’d totally be your type!”

There was only one bandaged man walking the earth of Yokohama and his name was Dazai Osamu who possessed the annoying ability to nullify any other gift - no matter how powerful it was. Everyone would be rendered to a mere human being in front of him.

Your lips were pulled into a straight line. “No, thanks.”

“Ahh, you’re really no fun, [Name]!,” Yukino whined and craned her head back in defeat.

The rest of the day was spent strolling throughout Yokohama and catching up with one another, a bit of teasing and bickering as always. It felt so normal to be back that it was akin to never having left in the first place and maybe, in a way, you felt guilty for leaving Yukino on her own. Yes, she was a grown woman who could stand her ground, but you could still remember how happy she was when you moved in with her and how sad she was when you announced your department for the duration of an entire year.

Yukino completed you and you completed Yukino.

“You know, you kind of remind me of my grandma’s wrinkly face with that face mask on,” Yukino snickered with the toothbrush in her mouth and some saliva mixed with toothpaste dribbling down her chin. She swore her relative was like a replica of you; according to Yukino, the two of you shared the same height, same hair color and the habit of Being Done with her. Knocking your hip into Yukino’s to scold her, your eyes narrowed ever so slightly as you spoke the next words with a straight face, “I bet I could beat you with a slipper just as well as your granny can, too.”

She spat the remaining toothpaste into the sink, put the toothbrush aside and flicked your mask-covered forehead which earned Yukino a rare pout of yours. She thought it was cute, though. “Aaand that’s why you’re single.”

Internally, you wondered why Yukino was so adamant about you finding a partner. Her bugging was like a mosquito haunting you at night, pestering you whenever you laid back down and flew right by your ear. She had never been too interested in your love life, but maybe her sudden interest arose from the fact that you’d been away for quite some time. Whatever it was, you were sure it’d disappear like smoke in no time.

“You really need some sleep. Maybe then you’ll stop annoying me,” taking the face mask off and tossing the remains into the trash can next to the sink, you basked in the way your skin glowed underneath the pleasant lighting the lightbulb provided. Maybe you should date yourself, you silently thought to yourself. “Well, you definitely do need your beauty sleep or else your face will always remain that wrinkly.”

Why were you befriended with her? You forgot.

The full moon illuminated the dark hallway and offered Dazai enough light to see his surroundings clearly, although he probably knew his way around the mafia’s headquarters, knowing the layout like the back of his hand. Soles of leathered shoes remained silent with every step the brunette took, his black coat offering him some warmth which this entire place severely lacked.

He had just come back from analyzing anomalies happening throughout Yokohama; despite summer reaching slowly reaching its peak, snow had been spotted. Witnesses talked about the temperature suddenly dropping to the point they had to turn on their heater, but apparently the cold never stayed for long. After a maximum of half an hour, temperatures would rise again to their original 30 degree celsius. This certainly wasn’t a funny trick by the weather nor caused by global warming. Although Dazai didn’t know who it was, he was absolutely sure that this was the doing of an unknown ability user.

Was this the story Mori told him about when he was around eight years old?

Before Dazai could continue his train of thought, he pushed the doors to Mori’s office open and was greeted by the mafia’s boss. “I’m glad you could make it this fast, Dazai,” Mori’s lips were pulled into a smile which Dazai could find no trust in. This entire man should never be trusted for no one knew anything about his true intentions; it even took Dazai quite a time of thinking to figure out one of Mori’s schemes. “I was about to try out a new suicide method, too..,” the brunette trailed off like he was saddened by Mori hindering from dying during this sweet, humid night.

Mori got up from his chair, hands folded behind his back and lilac eyes gazing upon the city which the mafia looked over during nights such as this particular one. Neo signs flickered in the distance, traffic lights were still active while cars roamed the streets, making it seem like this town never slept. “I need you to pick someone up by the pier,” always so vague.

Brown eyes were empty as they took in Mori’s posture and form; it seemed like he was looking forward to something if the slight smile and the shimmer in Mori’s eyes were anything to go by. “And who exactly might that be?” Usually, simple tasks like these were done by lower-ranking people like Dazai’s friend Odasaku. Maybe said person was dangerous? Or posed a threat to the mafia? In the end, one couldn’t refuse the boss’s order. “I’m sure you remember our lovely encounter with [Name]. She’ll need the help.”

“Why though? Just yesterday, you basically let her off the hook. It’s unusual for you to be so interested in someone,” Dazai was still analyzing Mori’s motive, but maybe it was a better decision to wait for the tale to unfold and then piece it together bit by bit. The suicidal brunette was smart, but not all-knowing. “I’m just bringing some things into motion,” Mori smiled at the younger man before his gaze fell back upon the city, his fingertips slightly pressed up against the huge window as his mind was calculating possible outcomes for the scenario he had created. “Besides..only fire can break ice.”

Orders were orders and so, Dazai leaves the office of his superior without another word. One thing was clear: Mori needed you to get rid of the ice ability user who was responsible for the anomalies, but the unknown variable was how Mori would convince you to join sides with the mafia. Knowing the boss for the majority of his life, Dazai knew that it’d be something to break you with.

How cruel the man was. Towards such a charming lady, as well.

It didn’t take long for Dazai to find a spot along the pier, his eyes gazing at the moon which was reflected onto the surface of the water. His body leaned against the wall of an abandoned warehouse and he couldn’t help but wonder if it just got a bit colder.

Naked feet padded along the wooden floor, your throat was dry and eyes heavy with sleep as you dragged your body to the kitchen like a sack of rice. No, this time you didn’t wake up thanks to a nightmare, but because you felt like you were dying of thirst and the usually full bottle of water by your bed was empty. You had no choice but to leave the comfortable, warm sheets and go out into the dark unknown aka your kitchen.

“The hell..?,” you mumbled and rubbed some sleep from your eyes as you stepped into something wet and..sticky. Maybe it was water? Did Yukino spill it? No, water didn’t stick to your feet like glue and definitely didn’t smell so overwhelmingly disgusting. Letting your gaze drop, your eyes suddenly widened in horror and you clasped a hand over your mouth in shock.

You stood in a puddle of blood and it came from Yukino’s room.

Suddenly, you were wide awake. “Yukino?!,” you yelled and burst through her door. What greeted you looked like a bloodbath in the form of your best friend who was gasping for air, her dark eyes shimmering with fear and pleading you for something that you couldn’t read. Your mind was too clouded with panic to figure out anything.

You dropped to your knees and ignored the painful crack that followed the hard impact, gathering Yukino up into your arms. Her throat had been sliced, the cut was too deep to cauterize it with your ability and then call an ambulance. Besides, the loss of blood was already immense, the red fluid being easily soaked up by your clothes and staining your skin. Yukino’s body was freezing cold, your body almost instinctively dropped her but your heart refused to obey.

“[Name], please, run,” her breathing was heavy and her chest rose and fell irregularly as her lungs craved the air. She coughed up blood, vision getting slowly blurry as her eyes found crying ones. “Shut up, it’s not your time to die!,” you raised your voice through the tears, put your hand on Yukino’s sliced throat and attempted to cauterize the wound, but the bleeding was too strong and destroyed the small crust that was created. Gently, Yukino placed her cold hand on your heated one and removed the bloody limp from the wound, her dark eyes holding contact with you. “Listen, this person will get you, too,” it got hard to speak. “So please, run and live, [Name].”

Hot tears dropped on Yukino’s face as you took her words in and held her close to your body as if it could somehow save her. “Don’t leave me, Yukino,” your voice was smaller than a mouse, barely above your whisper and more fragile than the thinnest glass. The only good thing you ever had in your life was being taken away from you, slipped through your fingers like water. “I’m sorry I have to leave so early,” Yukino spoke softly and although it was an obvious struggle for her, she smiled up at you and brought a bloody hand to your face.

“I promised to always be by your side. Now I’ll have to watch you from afar,” this wasn’t a mere promise but an honest vow you knew she would never break. Not even at the brink of death did Yukino think of herself or showed fear. Instead, she seemed to come to terms with her fate.

“Please, smile for me, [Name]. It’d be nice if your smile was the last thing I’d get to see.”

Hastily, you wiped the tears away and smiled as your heart shattered in your chest. Tears kept coming and moistened the collar of your shirt, stuck to your cheeks and some even dried on Yukino’s bloodied cheeks. You could feel your best friend’s heartbeat gradually slow down, her eyes fluttered shut as soon as you granted her the last wish.

Heavy sobs tore through your throat, shaky hands hugged Yukino’s head to your chest, your mind refused the harsh reality. “I’m sorry,” you said, gently rocking your body back and forth and repeating the phrase like a broken record which didn’t know any other words.

You’d been sitting in your friend’s blood for minutes and apologizing over and over again until something icy whizzed past you, cutting through the skin of your cheek and drawing blood. A gasp slipped your mouth and you turned around and spotted a masked, hooded person standing outside, a dagger made of ice and drenched in Yukino’s blood in their hand.

Everything happened way too fast. The unknown person came dashing through the opened window, grabbed you by the throat and tossed your body into a tree, effectively knocking the air out of your lungs and making splinters dig into your back. “Why did you do this?!,” you screamed at the stranger in front of you but it was the same as talking to a wall: you got no reply. The person opened their palm, ice bullets appearing out of nowhere and it dawned on you that Yukino’s words were true. You were this monster’s next target and probably their main objective for a reason you could only hope to figure out. Several of these bullets sped towards you, but you managed to melt them with a controlled wall of fire building up in front of you.

There was no way you could fight this person in this area. Houses filled with families surrounded you and at this rate, the neighborhood would either be frozen or burned down along with the people. In a panic, your mind decided to let you run towards the pier which wasn’t too far away but would certainly let you fight against whoever was behind that mask.

Sticks and stones hurt the soles of your feet or banged against your ankles painfully, the lack of air you could inhale hurt your lungs and not to mention the emotional pain of Yukino’s death. Everything hurt you and all you wanted was to break down and cry, but this wasn’t an option when your own life was on the line.

Somehow, you managed to dodge several attacks and you silently thanked whatever deity was watching over you for letting you reach the pier.

Abruptly you came to a stop, sand squeezing itself between your toes and your skin dyeing the sand in a hue of red. Your eyes scanned the area for a hooded figure lurking within the shadow, but found nothing but ordinary trees, bushes and an owl catching a mouse. Just before you could lull yourself into a false sense of safety, a sharp pain penetrated your abdominal area and cold flooded your veins instantly. “You little..,” the person was faster than you anticipated; the stranger had shown up out of nowhere and only waited for you to make a mistake so they could stab you with a knife made of ice which disappeared into tiny snowflakes.

Silent as always, the unknown person pushed you into the river and left you to drown.

The pain coursing through every fiber of your being was overwhelming, but the wound wasn’t as deep as it might seem, despite the blood loss you experienced. You pressed your hand into the stab wound and let the limb heat up until the heat stopped the bleeding; this was only a temporary solution and would not last very long, however.

The current of the river was strong and pulled you along or even pushed you down several times, making your attempt at getting air seem futile which it was. You were so close to reaching the surface, so close to finally breathe again until your palm hit a thick layer of ice which you couldn’t punch or cut through. It was a truly futile attempt.

Crap, you mentally cursed your luck and the stranger for having thought so far ahead, though it shouldn’t come as a surprise. The predator should always be one step ahead of their prey, after all. Your fist collided with the ice a few times, the lack of air slowly got to you and forcing you inhale nothing but the salty water surrounding you - you had no chance but to hurry up.

It took you several moments to heat up a majority of your body thanks to the much colder water, but soon, the liqiuid began bubbling around you and the layer of ice began cracking. Just a bit more. You pushed your palms flat against the ice and let the limbs catch fire to finally push through the ice which had nearly buried you.

At once, the ice shattered and found its way back into the warm water as snowflakes.

Exhausted and injured, you dragged your body to the nearest shore where you coughed up a curious mix of water and blood, your wound reopened at the force. You pressed both of your hands to your injury, dried lips parting ever so slightly as you began panting out of pain. The sound of rustling clothes drew your attention and you expected that stranger to show up once again, but instead, you caught sight of a black coat being thrown your way and a pair of shoes.

“Looks like someone did quite the number on you,” Dazai had his arms crossed over his chest as he took in your ruined form. Blood drenched you from head to toe, some water was probably still stuck in your lungs and not to mention that you almost drowned underneath that blanket of ice. “Shut up,” you snap at the brunette and immediately paid the price. Blood pooled in the back of your throat and snuck its way out with the help of an ugly cough. The taste made you cringe, pain made you curl in on yourself.

“You know you could get this treated if you joined the mafia,” Dazai spoke matter of factly and caught the menacing glare of yours before your eyes could fully develop it. You didn’t even have the time to protest. “It seems like we’re both looking for the same person now. Unless you really don’t want to and would rather die,” you honestly weighed your options, mind swaying between a tempting offer and the want to escape this very real nightmare. Helplessness and despair quickly grew where your heart shattered, making a perfect ground for anger to grow in - not towards the brunette in front of you, but towards yourself for being so weak.

You reach for the coat in front of you and tightly tie the article of clothing around your waist to slow down the bleeding, letting Dazai help you up to your feet. One bandaged arm was wrapped around your waist to keep you steady, his free hand pulled your arm across his shoulder. Dazai was warm, you noticed and unconsciously leaned into the man.

“I can’t understand how your beauty almost managed to die unlike me!,” the man whined and a pout found home on his lips. Dazai couldn’t understand how he always managed to fail, yet someone who did not wish for death, and was very beautiful, almost gained that sweet kiss of death he’d been chasing for so long. “What are you? A suicidal dumbass?,” you smirked as Dazai feigned overdramatic hurt over your comment. He was almost..comedic. “I can’t believe a lovely lady came for my neck like that! Unbelievable how such tender lips can spit such venom right into my poor heart!”

As the apparently suicidal man continued his rambling, you couldn’t help but notice how incredibly convenient his appearance was. Your mind quickly came to the conclusion that it was his doing. “Why the hell are you exactly here?,” you questioned sharply, your voice left no room for any playfulness or jokes. It didn’t surprise you when Dazai dropped the theatrical facade of his and switched to a more serious persona within the blink of an eye. He was serious, yet his face looked genuine.

“I know you must think that I planned the death of your friend, but I assure you I was only told to show up at a certain place to save a certain, stunning lady.”

Nevermind, he wasn’t serious.

“How the hell am I supposed to trust the words of a mafioso?”

At that, Dazai chuckled.

“I don’t lie about these things.”

You wonder how much you could trust him and decided to be wary, instead.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd x reader #dazai osamu #dazai osamu x reader #dazai x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #fic: gasoline

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ayshaelshamayleh · 3 years

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What is Divine Will in The Arab Israeli Conflict & why is it essential to the current discourse?

The Arab-Israeli conflict has been ailing me extensively for the past few years. Not exactly for the reasons that are common amongst Muslim-born Arabs. But for reasons pertaining to contemplations about Divine Will. As a scholar of The Holy Bible -one who has studied the Quran, both having grown up in a cultural context rooted in it and having had to study it as a spiritual seeker in the process of finding a faith/creed - I am burdened by uncomfortable questions. As someone who believes in God, solidly, I am broken by my inability to understand God’s hand in this war that lives so close-by.

Let me explain my point-of-view: I experience the bible as true word of God, on a personal basis. I live with it. I study it. I model it. I am Arab. I live in Jordan. Israel roots its claim to Palestine in a biblical promise made by God, and narrated in The Holy Bible.

I find it important for there to be Arabs, accustomed with the bible, engaging (and in fact leading) the discourse about the Arab-Israeli conflict. Arabs who are interested in the conflict must know more about the biblical context, no matter what they themselves believe, so that the conversation is more productive than it has been. If your opponent is claiming God is doing this, and it is difficult to understand how it is possible for an entire country to come into existence out of nothing, the question of “is this by God’s will or not?” must be important for every believer or spiritual seeker on both sides. This way you will speak clearer, and more convincingly, using a language all sides understand and relate with. You should not deny religious belief systems are at the core of this conflict, for everyone involved. You can’t care how uncomfortable that process is, it’s uncomfortable for all of us. And if politics, especially in a land heavily documented to be God’s, is a physical manifestation of the design of the energetic realm; it is important for all those who really look for or believe in God, to ask: “what’s up?”, and to consider that a priority question in their outlook, should they be true believers, true thinkers, true citizens.

Let’s deal with what’s in the bible about this conflict. To summarize, in the bible the Jews are promised to be scattered amongst nations, and God’s subsequent redemption brings them back to a Promised Land. From Abraham to Joseph to Moses to Joshua to David, the journey that is the blue-print for the spiritual-Jew takes him/her from living somewhere, God approaching him/her and wanting a relationship, as part of a chosen people (chosen by random, not because they are better than the rest, but just to use them as a sign, a symbol, for His relationship with all of humanity at a certain point in history). So then, like the rest of us, they dance between committing to Him and wanting worldly desires and comfort, falling in the face of fear to truly trust Him, to follow His voice and wait in the silence, to move in obedience, to humble themselves as to have a sovereign God over them. They didn’t do that. As you and I don’t do that. As we all don’t do that.

So then, God -having had good things to give them, good things to promise them, good ways to love them (the quintessential Perfect Lover) - in pain scatters them (‘because it’s over’). He scatters them into Egypt through Joseph, where they move and are eventually enslaved. To taking them out of Egypt, through Moses, wandering a scorched land of a desert for 40 years, so that everyone dies but their remnant (a minority out of them that loved God back in action), who are then given their ‘promised land’. And in the historical bible this does indeed correspond to areas in historical Palestine and its surroundings. David becomes the King of Jerusalem. Solomon builds his temple. Then the cycle goes downhill again, by the time of Daniel, famous for surviving a cage of lions, the jews are back to enslavement in Babylon. The downhill cycle continues.

One important point to mention is that all throughout the Old Testament, the people of God are promised a Messiah, and to define “messiah” in lay terms: it is the someone or something through which we are saved, making life perfect and peaceful (it’s what every human dreams of and is alive in wait of - the perfect peaceful good life; the Messiah is the spiritual linguistic term that corresponds to the tool which brings about that life we dream of; the life-like heaven we pursue, the perfect state of us becoming perfectly ‘corrected’ and at peace with our existence).

Now the New Testament tells the story of the Messiah, who is named Christ Jesus (consider it a random linguistic term for now that corresponds to this ‘tool’). Just to avoid confusions, because life is such that we are prone to mistaking a new car or a promotion or a new wife for a messiah -I just confirm that if you want to delve into the realm of precise language and the human-Divine story in order to discern whether the life you have is the one promised to you by God (or if you are living in a land way off-track), the ‘Messiah’s’ character is historically embodied by a man who happened to go by the name Jesus, at random (just the case, neutral). The things you like and fall in love with remind you of the character of ‘Jesus’. If we are to use his name just as a name of a character that is uttered by some people on the route through which we get to that life-like heaven, it’s just that. The gospel gives you a full and short enough narrative about that character (philosophically, artistically, literarily, poetically, historically, literally) to be able to use it as a reference for your life in that practical and simple, manual-style way - should you be one interested in answers that come through such a pallet.

So this fella, Jesus, a jew himself, a son of the lineage of David, a Christ of God comes to settle the debt between God and humanity once and for all. This guy comes to give us a tabula rasa, not just that, but a permanent stay in the life-like heaven. In fact, he says he’ll be inviting you and preparing us to live practically and truly as children of God. Like we feel that way, experientially. Now as you can imagine, you turn out to be indebted to the God that you avoided, silenced, maybe cheated on, but who still shows up (from Adam to your name). So this ‘tool’ of a Messiah is necessary.

We fully understand the feelings of God on that front through the Book of Hosea (in the Old testament). The prophet of the times was called by God to get married to a cheating wife as a sign of the era and the feelings of God about humanity’s relationship with Him. The endless dancing, not settling, confusion, blurred lines, not making a decision about His presence and involvement, confusion, fear-of-commitment; mess. That wife, symbolizing the people of God, keeps running away into the hands of men (and man-made things), until she finds herself in a slave market. That slave market has modern iterations we are familiar with: selling our souls to jobs we hate, making money that is useless to spend on band aid solutions for the void and the endless pain of wanting life-like heaven but losing the way, insisting that is the only way it goes. That was Hosea’s wife; just like us. Wanting to skip investigating God’s design of life in favor of good times, and “busy-ness”.

Now if you’ve ever been cheated on, imagine that happening over and over for centuries with someone - the brokenness and ridiculousness and unfairness pile up, and Him showing up to create a life for you doesn’t mean the wounds went away or that His showing up is sustainable on an energetic level (think “accounting”). So (to be very simplistic in handling Christian philosophy) something needed to wash things over, resolve you, heal you, get a final fix so the two entities -you and God- could be ‘together’, compatible again, somehow -in friendship? In romance? Him, your Perfect Lover (each up to his capacity in His will). And that route that does that, mathematically and mythically and literally and linguistically, was randomly assigned the name Jesus.

So what would it take God to reconcile us to Him, according to the bible (the new testament)? The answer is counterintuitive and very difficult to accept or agree to believing in. Before I lay it out, there’s this parable in the new testament that Jesus narrates that might help. There was once a man (alternate man with “God”), who owned a vineyard, and worked very hard at it, dug the winepress, built a tower, and lent it out to some farmers (alternate farmers with “us”) and went to a faraway country (alternate that with “life”). When harvest time came, the man (/God) sent his servants (/friends that walk around in your life constantly annoying you about God or things that remind you of such) to get his share of the fruit as agreed. The farmers (/us) responded by refusing the owner’s end of the bargain, so they beat the servants (/annoying friends) and killed them, so the farmers kept the whole harvest to themselves (/as they wished). The man (/God) sent more servants again. The farmers (/us) killed them again. So then the owner of the vineyard sent his son (alternate that with “Jesus”), thinking the farmers (/us) would respect someone as close and dear and connected to him as an actual son in this ordeal, and that we would give this son the rightful share. When the farmers saw the son, they said to themselves this is the heir, come let us kill him and keep his inheritance to ourselves. And so they did, just that. Killed him to get the land (/life) for themselves with no accountability before its owner.

The proposition that is difficult to understand or agree to is that God, instead of finding a system that would make us pay for our unwise choices in our relationship with him, knew we couldn’t possibly manage to do that. So, be patient with me here and see it in mythical terms for a second; God paid the price of our wrongs by sending someone of Himself, allowing us to witness ourselves choose to kill him, and in response He showed us He resurrects, and everything not of His dies, to reach out to us for further correction again. The cycle of life keeps moving in that direction. God is here for good. At His own price. This is what makes “God” God, his capacity to love, counterintuitively. This personally moves me.

The Christian philosophy essentially says God made a truce that is light and easy. If you are drawn to the character of this son, if you love this one who lived loving Him and his neighbor, showing the way, forgiving, sacrificing himself; you are saved and you enter your life-like heaven. The alchemy that happens within you, evolving you, as you pursue your belief in him changes your character into a state able to find and enjoy heaven. Now this life-like heaven isn’t easy. It entails embodying a life like that of God’s son. Loving God. Loving people. Telling the truth, even when it’s difficult. Having people mistrust your goodness. And instead of you choosing to retaliate, choosing to expose your wounds and your pain. Humbling yourself before God and man by asking your Maker for the strength to be good in truthful terms, for the sake of the people’s love for God and God’s perfect love for people. You will be persecuted because of that. You will be whipped. You will struggle. Yet within that life, God Himself works miracles in you and through you. You witness them. You feel Him, real, and strong. You know God. You see Him. Daily. He knows you. Personally. And there’s nothing else you need after that point, apart from enjoying your faith. And thus, heaven is on earth. In that counterintuitive and difficult way.

Needless to say, what I’m describing above is not the ‘state’ of Israel. Let’s tie this back to the Arab-Israeli conflict. One of the reasons the historical Jesus was not accepted by the historical jews is because they were expecting a political King for a messiah. A man who controls life. Who leads them to physical prosperity; monetary, “real”. Christ was too ethereal for the historical jew. Too intangible. Promising a kingdom of heaven, not earth. So those who are jews in today’s world are an expression of a spiritual state that hasn’t accepted that the ‘messiah’ (the tool to life-like heaven) can come. They find it hard to grasp that after Adam and Eve’s fall from heaven on earth in pursuit of the physicality of life and its desires, the story ends with God coming down to earth to be with us. But that “being with us” is inside of us -I hate to break that, I know it’s an overstated statement. It demands letting go of the world enough to experience Him, rely on Him, see Him, find Him within the eye of the soul. Peace comes out of that silliness, that wherever your geo-coordinates may be in the universe, you are in God, and you work hard at maintaining that (through discernment of what is and is not God) and you suffer in His name. Faith isn’t a hobby. Faith is a full-life ordeal.

Let’s tie this back to the issue of the Arab-Israeli conflict again. What is going on has to do with another important belief that is so rare. Jews, christians AND muslims all agree on one thing: The world will end with the second coming of Christ (in fact, to Jerusalem). I don’t need to tell you that in today’s post-COVID era and post-Deal-of-the-Century, etc. reality, many feel -as secular as we may be- that the world keeps feeling like it’s ending. Now since all three creeds (i.e. the majority in this region) piously and unanimously agree that earth is destined towards a direction leading to the “arrival” of Christ, then all who are “correct” by their own standards, should be living in pursuit of knowing Christ, regardless of your religion. Your religion stipulates that, should you be a true believer.

Those who do not know Christ, if they believe in God or are asking questions about God, should learn about him. It is a part of your religion. Social taboos on that front should not concern you, because you claim to believe in God, not people. A life of faith demands a life of your own faith in action, in behavior, in practice - waking up in the morning and working on yourself to find more about your God everyday, about your ‘religion’ everyday. Asking the uncomfortable questions. Anything else is not belief, or creed, it is a facade and a lie. It collapses. If you are unsure there is a God, the most important goal in your life is to go find out whether there is. Don’t wait till a deathbed.

In my twenties I watched my father die over six years. His real and actual deathbed was fatally propped in our living room. And I watched. I watched him reckon with death. I watched his life be accounted for, both in the human realm and in the other one. I watched him apologize for wrongs he had done people. I watched him pray. I watched him pretend to have beings in the room other than my family. He was asked questions by them (very intelligent, logical and concise). He even gave answers he would turn to me and say were right or wrong or ones he was unsure of. He became so beautiful in his withering, the most loving essence of him palpably fragrant. I saw Christ. He was devotedly Muslim. Not in how he applied laws. But how he practiced, so humbly elegant, real faith is something so dense and real, but unseen, unacknowledged, unaccounted for. That humanity is the only one I wish to see.

Life takes time. People have different paces and different paths. Intrinsic in the choices they make about how they live life and what they name things (e.g. ‘Israel’), they express what they worship, you express what you believe is the right modem for life. You can’t control your neighbor. You can just worry about your stuff - another overstated statement, I know.

Here is a political state calling itself “Israel” that believes in doing good for itself and for its people, in hate and at the expense of what’s outside of itself. Is that wrong? They themselves say “no, not when it’s for our best and we are a chosen people”. In my contemplations about Divine Justice, I ache to understand how it is fair that God gives others a choice in how they treat things around them. How is God “God”, if He leaves it all to people? There seems to be no power behind it. Just suffering, and bleeding, and dying on a cross. That’s no God at all - I would imagine the spiritual jew and most Arabs would agree. Not impressive enough to warrant belief. Too passive, many people I’ve crossed paths with have said this.

As a person of faith, I struggle with those questions as well. I find myself stuck between a rock and a hard place. I experience God as so perfect as to give people choice, even in how they treat Him, and in how they treat others. He is magnanimous as to warrant freedom of speech and behavior. But don’t take that lightly, because you will win. So it’s on you in the smallest of moments. Life and how the people around you experience it depends on you and your choices. There is divine judgement but you are allowed to do whatever you wish, it has consequences, but that’s not the reason you do good. You do good because you believe in the intrinsic value of creating a good world (should you live in a life-like heaven, then that’s imperative for you). Doing good to avoid punishment points to a young state of faith, baby believer, there is much space for development. We work towards becoming adults in God.

I fail to understand what sort of life to lead to contribute to the resolution of problems that claim people’s lives around me. I feel the situation, it hurts me deeply. Life and God get confusing to the point of total implosion. To be real, since finding faith, the condition of my life is often signaled by whatever is happening in Jerusalem. If you want to know how I am, look up ‘Jerusalem’. Not because Jerusalem causes my pain at all, but my pain coincides with it, like truth. It’s like we’re in the same box of existence. Not by choice, I don’t even share any genetic roots to the place. I’m a random person of God. That state hasn’t been good.

I feel that an important response (in addition to the other responses out there) to what is happening in Sheikh Jarrah would be to compile resources again and get the people to live in a neighborhood that loves them. Man should not need to negotiate his value amongst the people who live close-by him. In all cases, and despite complexities, man must live amongst the people who are concerned about him, willing to carry him all the way through. I pray that that comes through, and if in any way I am helpful, I’m interested in collaborating.

I’ll end with this good thought by pastor and author Tim Keller:

“Anger is love in motion to deal with a threat toward that which you really love (to disintegrate the threat) – to see what your heart loves the most, you need only ask what you are defending.”

Worth the think.

#Jerusalem Bible Israel ArabIsraeliConflict

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bunnyriviere · 3 years

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my god i cant get my head out of this mess so imma rant, then MAYBE i can focus on my assignment like damn babe i thought your passion is stats, why are you obsessing over a guy that doesnt care enough. huh? care about stats instead babe!!!!!! i just want to only have to care about maths but i know my life is ruined if i dont have relationships, so i try. but i must suck at it so bad if everything just ends in flame like this, im so tired im teary eyes.

im on my phone and honestly dont know how to do the uh line to cut short the post so if anybody unfortunately see this im sr :(

this is not even about a romantic relationship, i dont even know why i just couldnt like a person like that but damn fine. this is about a male friend i made in grade 11 i guess. i have never liked men. im afraid of them and dont want to have to interact with them ever. i know its bad and i should change but i just really want them away from me im sorry..... so i wasnt even friendly with him, but i was polite, i know how to be a decent person. he was friendly and nice and friends to all which only made me think aw geez just stop being friendly i know this is not because you like me. but i was eating the snack he brought to class anytime he brought it without much thought cause he offered i aint gonna say no. all the while still not consider him a friend. not until a friend said im not being nice if im eating his food while still not seeing him as a friend. and i have always feel bad about not being friendlier towards men in general and he made the 1st move which made it easier for me to just go along. so i did and thats how we became friends.

hes really nice and i mean it. i think really highly of him. maybe its just me having bad luck so i havent met many that are nice?? i really believe they are just myth tbh, im about to settle for that thought. and this guy is really how i wish is the standard for all men. hes just that good, i have no complain. i truly like him and glad that my friend said something cause otherwise we probably wouldnt be friends.

again no romantic feeling. i just have to, remind the invisible audiences of this post i guess.

now we all know covid. and because of it, i couldnt come home and wanted to lay in bed even more than normal. so i didnt push for it when he said he couldnt meet anybody in the summer because he didnt want to accidently give somebody it. just saying that cause this is a 2 ways road right, nothing is ever only his fault, its also mine. i want to rant about my feelings but i dont want to dismiss any mistakes i made yk. so we didnt meet up then.

christmas came and before then we were talking about christmas gift and i didnt wanna any so i didnt prepare anything also. this person is too nice and i dont want him to feel bad. but anw i just thought maybe we can still meet up even if its not for gift exchanging. but i didnt ask or anything at all cause well, hes from here, he has family and friends that are definitely closer to him, and he had work. i know hes busy and if he wanna hang out he know where to find me. i just dont want to accidentally add something more onto his list of to do. he would be too nice to say no. and we are not that close i dont want to add more work for him. i dont have relatives or friends here other than him so im free anytime if he wanted to meet up. but that didnt happen, i dont think we talked at all. which fine i hate to admit but i was hurt. ugh hate showing how vulnerable i am. yuck. yikes. -100/10.

i just didnt think about it? i didnt try to reach out either so that was my fault too but just, if he didnt care then i wont either. so i really didnt think about him anymore.

came reading week! it really was 1 year from the last time i saw him honestly. he asked to meet up and if i want to go somewhere and tbh no im in the countryside rn is that the corect word so there are no place to go. but i remembered this 2ndhand place i like to go sometimes and i hadnt gone in a while so why not. so we agreed on that. and i know he was probably just tired, and there are people who sigh a lot, its not uncommon. but not seeing him for a long while and knowing this is a place i suggested, him doing that really made me feel bad. i probably shouldnt, but couldnt get the thought that he was probably doing this just because hes friendly not because hes friend with me. it fucking sucked. when we got out and he dropped me back at my home i still felt so bad he didnt get to enjoy himself so i asked if we could watch jojo together. yeah he loves jojo. i dont really care for anime im so sr i prefer realing manga lmao sr.

now ok maybe im still being dumb, probably. but tldr i truly believe people can be friends and affectionate even when they are from opposite sex. it didnt work out so well cause i got molested lmao cause some other guy thought that was cool to do. so that honestly worsen my uh wariness of men. but like i said, i think ive said it, i trust this person. honestly i do, we hug a lot and i had never felt afraid of it. i believe he wont do anything. im just really comfortable around him. so we cuddled while watching anime, that had happened before im really sr if you think thats wrong, i still believe that could happen.

but maybe its because i was tense from thinking he really didnt enjoy hanging out with me that much. i kept connecting remembering what the molester did and while i just knew i swear i knew he wouldnt do anything like that, i couldnt get it out of my head. i felt bad for that but there were just 2 things that happened so similar to what happened with the molester. haizz he kinda laced our fingers together but it wasnt handholding, same thing happened once before with m-dude and it felt weird but i didnt want to question that friendship so i didnt. and at some point of jojo i kinda jumped and he held me back, not pulled me back or anything but was holding me in place, and it was probably to make me feel safe but honestly if anybody even use a little bit of force i will just think of when i finally got the courage to turn around to confront the other dude for touching me, he held me back and i couldnt move at all. i think i froze a bit.

argh back to the main story. see how i totally suck? hahaha just blaming this friend for something somebody else did. im so sorry, i suck.

well after that we picked up talking again but idk! was it me overthinking? was it? because it felt like he didnt want to talk to me at all. it was, how to say it. he was friendly yes he talked hmm. damn how-- it felt like he didnt care for what i said. its a feeling idk how to put into words. and that sucks. he didnt seem interested in me before, felt happy enough when we cuddled, then back to being uninterested. i knew i know he doesnt want me romantically. damnit am i only good now for hugs. are we friends? what i meant is not sex but am i only good for physical stuff? i dont fucking know, the m-dude obviously just want a fwb and i was to trusting to notice. is this my gut feeling or my anxiety idk!

another side story. another guy suddenly expressed interested in me right when covid hit but it was because he couldnt get over his ex so i stopped talking to him for a while and picked it back up when i thought he was no longer idk being annoying about it. i thought he had to at least like me as a person to even express he liked me romantically. but apparently not. he looked so uniterested suddenly and denied when i asked, then stopped reading my texts.

so you see. i just cant if haiz ok do- do anybody like me? just as a person? idk.

god i knew i fucking suck for being so sensitive and anxious and im sr for wanting stuff but maybe i want you to look like you care a bit when i said you are reminding me of the m-dude, instead of saying ok we can talk less then. i already felt like you dont want to talk to me, you dont have to say that...

officially crying heyho.

just saying no you dont dont like talking to me when your actions were saying the opposite is not cutting it either... i also thought highly of the covid confession guy too but what happened now. im sorry for comparing you to others! but i learn from experiences... and this was sus... (yah its a joke i cant help it.)

and if i just agreed and stopped talking to him right it just, felt like a confirmation that yeah its true hes just letting me hug him not because im his friend and he knows i like hugs so he lets me. but its more like its convenient that a girl is hugging him so he wont say no. something like that. that sucks. thats all im good for. if i were his friend, it would include the talking too.

ah!! i know we are not close, we are both casual friend. he is definitely not on my top list to tell stuff to but damn i still like him enough to hurt. and to not asking for too much.

so anw i kept talking with the anxiety that never got solved and that made me frustrated and i picked at his insecurity to made him hate me enough to stop talking to me cause i couldnt bring myself to stop, id feel so bad. this is really toxic and i admit this is not the first time ive done it, to a different person but its the same thing.

hahaha act like i hate him while just want him to see how i feel so bad. yeah im a tsundere.

it worked so i stopped talking to him for a week and focused on talking to my other friends. friends i know without a doubt love me and want me because i really didnt feel that with him at all. sorry i know you were tired with covid.

that made me felt better and i was not in panic mode anymore, i can calmly assess things now. and before, i felt bad because i truly believed i was just seeing things, i couldnt see pass my anxiety and was blaming him for what, nothing. he did want to talk to me. but my mind was clearer after that one week and yeah i cant really make more excuses? yes i was sensitive and made things worse, but there must be something for me to pick up first. it didnt just come out of thin air.

so i sent him some texts saying that, because just leaving without a word is bad communication. i have to tell him and at least give him a chance to change i guess? did he need change? im doubting myself.

i- hm he just said yeah his look and way of talking really make him look like hes tired and uninterested, and laughed at my marie kondo joke. you know the one. idk! all i saw in that was yeah thats how it is, accept it. and i-- i, cant? i dont want to... i dont want to :(

but my mindset for just about anything is value the process, not the result, like as long as you put work in! thats great! and he- he was, talking... he put work in..... i would feel so bad to deny it. but at the same time, it was not enough... i hate! to say you need to do at least this and that! but it didnt feel like enough..... im sorry :(((( i am.

ive talked about my tendency to lash out. last time i didnt want it but i had to get away quick so i didnt mean it but i still did it. but this time i was truly angry. because i just wished there was more care for me but i know that was all there was, and i couldnt do anything about it. couldnt even ignore him. he was even drier then, and i got it, i lashed out at him, ofc he wasnt going to be friendly. but just why were you trying so hard... no, no it was not trying hard, you were answering texts at the speed of once every 2 days. why were you answering at all? you clearly didnt want to. but again so was i. did i really have a say.

so i sent angry texts at him. about how fake his friendliness was, did he really consider me friend, why did he keep saying no it was not that he was uninterested while it was obvious that he was. also that i want to fight him. i really do want to. hopefully he will beat me up hard enough that i can be in a coma and die in 9 months idk. (listen 9 months is enough time to make a new human, if im not awake by then, you need to let me go, thats my wish.)

he said that no he doesnt like to fight and thats the last text i got from him.

because ofc i dont hate him him, the whole him idk what im saying. just angry and hate that hes not matching me on how we value this relationship i guess. not besties like how he likes to joke, but eh, was hoping more than what i was sensing. i still sent a text being like ok fine do you still want to talk and if so how do you want me to do. but he didnt answer it in time so i decided for him that nah we wont talk anymore.

heyho i was sad, i am sad. and ok hear me out, HEAR ME, i dont use tarot for future but just for my feelings and how to deal with them, and my deck said ok babe this is the end, you will have to move on now. so i will.

tbh lmao for every relationships that i emotionally invested in. i always make an essay on my feelings because thats how i conclude things, and so i wont forget that my feelings are legit. so the moment i started this post, hes dead to me i guess.

wow this post is long. but i did really like him so.

im moving to uni city next month but i know he will leave in the summer so i wont have to worry about seeing him then. and probably not further in the future either, we go to different uni and are quite far away and our common are not gonna question things i dont think. dont think they would even notice, we are not in a group or anything. and even if i do end up meeting him. my feelings while was anger, but it stemmed from sadness and disappointment so it wouldnt be too bad. on the other hand... m-dude..... i am afraid of meeting you, lets please please please not meet damnit.

#xxxpauline

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gigi-sinclair · 4 years

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Cendrillon (crossover with “Versailles”, Guillaume/Thomas Jopson, rated G)

Blame it on @rubysharkruby, and specifically this gifset. Also, I believe it was @oochilka who said “a Thomas Jopson for every Matthew McNulty character”, and I can thoroughly get behind that.

If you haven’t seen “Versailles”, I would say Guillaume is more or less a 17th century French Edward Little. The poor guy just wants to do his job.

For the @theterrorbingo Free Space, and my third Bingo!!!

“I hear you are cobbler to the King.”

Guillaume looks up from the tannery workbench. In front of him stands the most beautiful man he's ever seen, tall and dark-haired. He's dressed simply, as a servant, but he is as lovely as any aristocratic flower Guillaume has glimpsed at Versailles.

“We work for all sorts of people,” Jeanne calls across the workshop. The man glances at her. “None of our clients have ever been dissatisfied.”

“But you are correct,” Guillaume says, bringing the man's startling blue gaze back to him. “We are fortunate enough to have a position at court.” At least until the King catches wind of Jeanne's disloyal sentiments.

“My master is in sore need of new shoes.” He has an accent, Guillaume remarks. English, although his French is very good. “But I am afraid he dislikes leaving home. I would be most grateful if somebody could go to him.”

Guillaume is far too busy with the King and the orders from court these days to take on such errands himself, but he finds himself strangely loath to assign the task to someone else.

“Where do you live?”

“My master's home is outside Menuls-lès-Saint-Cloud.” A fair ride from the workshop. A trip out there would certainly take more time than Guillaume has to spend.

“I can come tomorrow afternoon.” He can sense Jeanne's eyebrows go up, but ignores her. It's easy enough to do when the man bestows upon him a smile dazzling enough to put butterflies in Guillaume's stomach and palpitations in his heart. He even has dimples, Guillaume notes, with simultaneous despair and elation. He has always been inordinately fond of dimples.

“Thank you, monsieur. He is a very particular gentleman, he only wants the best.” The man gives Guillaume a look that can only be described as meaningful. Even after his experiences at court, where volumes are spoken with looks and gestures, Guillaume does not possess the skills to discern that meaning. He takes the address, and bids the man a farewell which is ridiculously forlorn, given they are complete strangers.

As soon as he is gone, Guillaume hears Jeanne scoff.

“You have something to say, dear sister?”

“Merely that I am pleased to see you taking work for someone other than His Majesty. And that your familiarity with the Duc d'Orléans seems to have affected you in more ways than one.” This meaning could not be clearer, and she could not be more wrong.

Guillaume knows of Philippe's proclivities, naturally. Those same proclivities lived in Guillaume long before he met Philippe. He wonders, at times, if that was what encouraged friendship to blossom between them, even more than their shared experiences in the war.

“If you are short of work, Jeanne, I'm certain I can find you something to do.” His tone is less imperious than he would like, but she says no more.

***

The mysterious gentleman's home is a moderately sized villa, tidy with a well-kept garden. It is not the home of an aristocrat, but nor is it a place for a pauper. The handsome servant himself greets Guillaume at the door.

Overnight, Guillaume almost managed to convince himself he had exaggerated the man's appearance. He, who had seemed an angel on Earth in the tannery, would no doubt appear ordinary or even plain in the light of day.

Guillaume was wrong. The man is as lovely now as he was yesterday. As he greets Guillaume with another of those astonishing smiles, Guillaume hears himself ask, “What is your name?”

“Jopson, monsieur. Thomas.” He says it the English way. Tom-mass. It is utterly delightful.

“I am Guillaume,” Guillaume tells him, as Thomas leads him into the house.

“Yes,” Thomas replies. Amusement colours his voice. “I know.”

A man awaits them in the drawing room. Although the weather is mild, he sits before the fire. Like the house itself, this room is well-kept without being extravagant, with tall bookshelves against several of the walls, and paintings of seascapes on the others. The gentleman is not elderly, but Guillaume recognizes the ravages of drink on his face.

“Captain Crozier,” Thomas says, in English. Guillaume can understand a little, although he would never attempt to speak it. “We are honoured with a visit from the King's shoemaker.”

Crozier casts his eyes across Guillaume's person, then snorts. “All right, then. Let's get on with it.”

Captain Crozier—given the seascapes, Guillaume assumes he is a naval captain, or was one, rather than an army captain—suffers from severe bunions. He winces as Guillaume measures his feet, although Guillaume is as gentle as possible. After marching for years with his own troops, this is a condition with which Guillaume has great sympathy.

“Tell him,” Guillaume says to Thomas, as he wraps up his measuring tape, “I will make him the most comfortable shoes he has ever owned.”

His words make Thomas' eyes light up. At once, Guillaume wishes to do that again, and again. “Oh, that would be very much appreciated.” Thomas repeats the sentence in English to the captain, who laughs derisively.

“He wouldn’t be the first to say that. But I welcome his attempt.” The captain's gaze goes to Thomas. “Why don't you have a pair made yourself, as well, Thomas?”

“Me, sir?”

“If his shoes are as good as he claims, then you surely deserve some of your own. You're on your feet far more than I.”

A fetching blush comes to Thomas' cheeks. “That's very kind, sir.” He turns to Guillaume. “My master has kindly offered me a pair of my own. If you don't mind...”

“Not at all.”

Thomas sits on the nearest chair, and removes his current shoes. They are of very poor quality, badly made to begin with and crudely patched on top of that. Guillaume wishes he had brought a pair of completed shoes for Thomas to wear while his are being made.

Guillaume has seen a lot of feet in his time. In and of themselves, they have never interested him, but Thomas' feet are strangely fascinating.

Guillaume bites his lip, striving to maintain the highest level of professionalism. The level that has kept him at court, even if Philippe's influence was obviously what first opened the door. He takes Thomas' measurements as briskly and efficiently as he did his master's, until he arrives at Thomas' left instep.

It is high. Before he can consider what he's doing, Guillaume traces it with his index finger. Even through Thomas' stocking, Guillaume can feel the heat of his body. He twitches, but does not pull his foot away. Rather, he pushes back, just a little, then raises his gaze to meet Guillaume's.

Guillaume feels his own face heat to match the blush darkening Thomas'. He pulls his hand away.

“I shall deliver the shoes myself, once completed.” The vow is rash. He might be called to Versailles at any time.

“I look forward to it, monsieur,” Thomas replies, in a low voice that does not quite suit a conversation about shoes.

***

As promised, the shoes Guillaume makes for Thomas and his master are among the finest he's created. The leather is richly tanned, supple beneath his fingers, and the stitching is exquisite, if he does say so himself. For all his sins, Guillaume is not usually a prideful man. He is proud of these shoes, and excited to present them to their new owners.

To one of their new owners in particular. He smiles to himself on the ride up to Menuls-lès-Saint-Cloud. He would say he feels as giddy as a schoolboy, but Guillaume was always a serious child.

“Good afternoon, monsieur!” Guillaume did not write ahead to announce his arrival, but Thomas greets him as if he was expected. “I'm afraid Captain Crozier has taken ill.”

“I hope it is nothing serious.”

A delicate frowns settles upon Thomas' forehead. “No,” he says, sounding tired. “It is quite usual.”

There is nothing to be said to that. “I have your shoes.” Guillaume holds up the bag in his hand. It seems an idiotic statement—why else would he have come?—but Thomas brightens, the frown disappearing.

“Please, do come in. I'm so eager to see them.”

He takes Guillaume to the same room they were in before. Guillaume sets aside the shoes made for the captain, and unveils Thomas' pair. “They're wonderful!” Thomas exclaims. “Might I try them?”

“Of course.” The prudent course of action would be to hand the shoes to Thomas, to let him put them on himself. Instead, Guillaume says, “Please, sit.”

Guillaume has spent a great deal of his life as a supplicant. Before God, before the King. It feels just as natural to go to his knees before Thomas, to take one of his stocking-clad feet in hand and slide it into the shoe. The fit, of course, is exact.

“My goodness.” Guillaume looks up. Thomas' cheeks are rosy, his lips parted in a way that makes Guillaume feel quite warm. “That's lovely.” He clears his throat, as Guillaume sets down that foot and takes up his other one. “In Italy, the captain and I heard a story about a lady who flees from a royal ball, and is found again by the perfect fit of a slipper she left behind. Do you know the tale?”

“I have heard a similar one at court.” Guillaume remembers Philippe recounting it to him, thinking, no doubt, that the subject matter would appeal.

Thomas holds his gaze. “Then you will know that the one who returns her slipper is a charming prince. Like you, Guillaume.”

Guillaume swallows. “I am far from a prince.”

“Perhaps.” He reaches out to rest his hand on Guillaume's shoulder. His touch is light. Still, it makes Guillaume's heart beat faster. “But I find you very charming indeed.”

He moves slowly. Guillaume has ample opportunity to shift away, to get up and leave, to reject what Thomas is clearly offering. He does none of that. Instead, he allows Thomas to sit on the floor beside him, to take Guillaume in his arms, and, finally, to press a kiss, soft and tentative, against Guillaume's lips.

Despite the circles he now moves in, despite his close friendship with the King's only brother, Guillaume is a simple man. He is not ashamed of that. There is a natural hierarchy to the world, and Guillaume is well aware of his place within it.

And my place at the moment, he thinks, wrapping his arms about Thomas and returning kiss with ardour, is exactly where I am now.

#theterrorbingo

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beneaththetangles · 4 years

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Oregairu Season 3 (My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU CLIMAX), Episode 11: A Genuine Confession

“Allow me the privilege of distorting your life.”

Only Hikki would make his love confession in such a way. But isn’t that just like him in the end? It’s as authentic as it is awkward, honest as it is strange, and precisely the proper way for him to end the first journey he was on and properly begin the second, longer, more significant journey into the rest of his life, which, by the way, is what Yukinon references in her “clearer,” better confession in return.

Yes, we finally got there. Through our Instagram account, I’ve realized how invested people are in the romantic aspect of Oregairu. This has been the moment that they’ve waited for—and I admit, I’ve been waiting on the bridge scene as well. But for me, that scene was about more then the confession (as good as it was)—it’s the last step of an adventure for both Hikki and Yukinon (and Yui, too, in a way), toward understanding themselves better and learning what it means to be genuine.

Way back five years ago now in season two, through tears in his eyes, Hikki told Yui and Yukino he wanted something genuine. But you can’t have authenticity just like that. It’s scary and awkward at first, because the self you show to other people must be pulled away, like a magic trick, to reveal the real person underneath. That real person is not the same as the image portrayed; it’s awkward for Hikki to throw off the chains of being a smart recluse and admit both his foibles and his “desire.” And Yukinon fears putting aside her perfect self to admit her insecurities, including a fear of depending on someone else and dragging that person down with her.

We’ve all been teenagers, so we get how hard to it is to be genuine (especially during those years when we’re not quite sure who we really are). And we’ve all engaged in relationships, whether it be just friendships or romantic ones as well. Both types usually develop over a long stretch of time, but for Hikki, Yukinon, and Yui, they don’t have all the time in the world. There’s a self-set deadline—the end of prom—that will mark the closure of their special relationship. A year or less just isn’t enough for this group, especially for Yukinon and Hikki, to go from being unaware of each other (and then even actively disliking one another) to breaking through all their pain in order to develop a deeper, lasting relationship. It’s just too much to expect for these two, and Hikki admits that he has to take the leap now, because he knows that their ties will disappear because of his own weakness and hers. He has to confess to her if we wants that something authentic.

AND HE FINALLY DID IT.

Of course, he takes a roundabout way to do so—he continues with the dummy prom, which now seems set to happen. I have to admit, this part confused me when reading the light novel, and it confuses me now: Did he have to do this so that he could tell Yukinon he loves her? Was this his weird, grand setup to let her know that he would like to continue distorting her life? Or was it to just show Yukinon that they can help one another, and also that her family has begun to trust her in her growth?

I don’t know, but the development shocks all parties involved, including Iroha, who scares the team of nerds with how forthright she is.

And Yui? Well, she cries one more time. But the tone now seems to be of acceptance—not fear, not holding on, not resignation. She’s moving forward, as much as it hurts.

And so are Hikki and Yukinon. The latter has received little screen time this season, but in episode 11 is finally front and center. I admit, I got teary-eyed and a huge grin appeared on my face as she started explaining all her faults, while Hikki calmly accepted them (this is sooo When Harry Met Sally: “I’m difficult.” “You’re challenging.” “I’m too structured. I’m completely closed off.” “But in a good way.”).

And then Yukinon, who for all of the focus in the series on Hikki, is the one that’s furthest from being able to become authentic person she wants to be, pursues him, grabbing on to him, and then giving her beautiful confession.

The upper subtitle are the lyrics to the song playing in the background. Getting some Love Hina feels here…

At the beginning of the episode, Hiratsuka-sensei explains how complex emotions are, how they can’t be conveyed in a simple word. And yet, she does just that when she explains to Hikki that despite his many, many faults, she loves him.

For Yukino and Hikki, it’s the same: Their feelings are complex, their issues deep, and their words scattered—and thus, words (and especially one word, as Yui mentions) aren’t enough. They have to do. And in this case, that doing meant becoming genuine; it meant being brave and showing their hearts to one another. For love is more than just a word, as our trio discovers. Love is action.

And ultimately, if the action of becoming vulnerable and showing your true self isn’t love—then I don’t know what is.

EPISODE NOTES

Yui’s wish is to have it all. Sigh. Her ending isn’t happy now, but she gets a happy ending ultimately, I believe—she’s growing up, and she’ll be ready when the next Hikki comes along.

Yui crying to mom is the kind of relationship I’m sure most daughters want to have with their mothers. Gahama-good-mama!

MVP of the episode: Yukinon. She finally did it and opened up “clearly” and fully.

I love how Hiratsuka’s speech to Hikki was foreshadowing of the confession scene. She explained to Hikki that despite knowing you, and because of knowing you, I love you; and Hikki says the same to Yukinon.

MAXIS COFFEE gets some excellent screentime to make up for a couple of lost episodes!

Ending with the song toward the end of the love scene and moving into a credit-only closing was NICE.

And we come full circle with the title of the last episode and Hikki reading his opening assignment over the episode preview. Sniff sniff.

=====

Oregairu can be streamed through Crunchyroll.

#Anime #Oregairu #Yahari Ore no Seishun Love Comedy wa Machigatteiru.#Yahari Ore no Seishun Love Come wa Machigatteiru.#My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU #My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong as I Expected #Articles #Author: TWWK

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fuwafuwamedb · 4 years

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A Cursed Gil Pt 3 (Hakuno, Gilgamesh)

Previous Part: One - Haku POV / Gil POV, Two

______

She couldn’t sleep.

She just… couldn’t.

Her ceiling showed the faintest traces of the sun as the morning continued to begin. She could see that the blinds were slightly open. She could see G coming into the room and climbing up onto the bed. He fur fluffed up around him as he walked her way, slipping under her arm and pressing against her person.

Any other morning, she would have been pulling him close, cooing softly to him.

Any other morning, she would have been all too happy to curl up and maybe sneak them both something to eat from the kitchen.

Today was not one of those days though.

Even when he licked her face, she just felt wrong.

He’d been a man in her kitchen.

Or she was tired.

It’d been a long night. She’d been working a few extra hours here and there and leaving for part of the day every day. The study sessions and the constant concern about rent and courses were starting to wear on her sanity a bit.

Yesterday evening, clearly her sanity had decided to take a trip to a black hole, leaving her insane.

She’d probably just been wandering through her house with G following after her, meowing and pawing at her here and there.

That was it.

“You wouldn’t force me to leave my home, would you, G?”

Hakuno pressed her face into the cat’s fur, feeling the cat turn a little and lick her face.

She fell asleep to his loud purring and the sun outside rising higher.

The sound of the door being pounded on met her ears when she woke up. G was curled up on her person, his head gently rising as they both heard the pounding once again.

“Hakuno!”

Emiya’s voice could be heard.

Why did he want?

G growled, hurrying out of the room.

She pulled her robe around herself more, yawning as she slowly pulled herself from the blankets and headed for the door. The lights were still on in the house. The stove held a handful of ingredients and things on them.

She’d left the remaining eggs out.

The man who had been in her home had left the eggs out.

Without hesitating, she pulled the door open, finding the white haired man standing on her doorstep.

“What’s going on?”

“You weren’t in class.”

“Oh.”

Right.

It’d been a school night. She was going to need to find a doctor’s note or something for explaining where she’d been. Emiya was pushing passed her though, frowning at the state of the house.

“Are you alright, Hakuno?”

Closing the door, she nodded.

“I’m fine, Emiya. I just overslept today. I think I’ve just been overworking myself a little. G and I were taking the day to recover.”

Actually, my cat turned into a person and started getting handsy and telling me that we were going to go to Uruk and then I tried to attack him, he made me food, and then he turned back into a cat. It’s been great. I’ve gone insane.

Emiya picked up the eggs, setting them back in the fridge and looking around a little more.

G was growling at his feet.

“Hakuno… Why don’t I help clean up while you rest.”

“That doesn’t sound like helping.”

He shrugged, pulling his jacket off. “Call it what you will. You’ve clearly gotten a flu or something. Coming to the door with your bathrobe on and keeping the eggs out. Go to bed.”

She gave him a salute, heading off to bed.

G could do what he wished.

Bed was soft.

Bed was warm.

The distant sound of Emiya cleaning up the house and doing dishes could be heard, disrupted here and there when the man would get after G for something. The cat’s growling and spitting could be heard well enough, but she was tired.

So so very tired.

A small body jumped onto her own.

She could feel those paws move as the cat walked up her person.

Opening her eyes, she glanced down to see the cat patting at her face.

G pointed at the door with his paw.

No.

No, cats didn’t point. He just happened to be lifting his paw and it happened to be pointing in the direction of the door. He was not pointing.

A small growl came.

“G. I’m tired. Ask Emiya for food.”

A soft patting came to her shoulder.

She opened her eyes again after a moment and found the cat looming over her.

Two jabs towards the door.

Another growl.

“You don’t like him.”

The cat nodded.

No, the cat did not nod.

Cats were not capable of understand human gestures like that. He had merely happened to lightly bob his head once when she asked a question that just happened to have a yes or no question. There was no way that he had understood what she was asking and how to respond in kind.

She wrapped an arm around G’s fluff of a body, pulling him close and closing her eyes again.

She couldn’t go crazy if she just went back to sleep.

G wasn’t having that though. Even as she closed her eyes, attempting to go to sleep, she found the cat nuzzling close, making small sounds and trying to nudge at her.

She did what she could to ignore him, but-

“G, please.”

More tapping.

Hakuno sat up, surrendering.

She’d sleep later.

Heading into the other room, she could see Emiya already starting to cook what seemed to be dinner. A bottle of cheap wine was sitting on the counter, but she declined it. She ate, leaning against the wall by the table and listening to the other talk about his day.

He left after that.

She locked the door back up and pulled her laptop over to herself.

Deciding not to tell Emiya had been the wise move to make. She knew that and she was proud of herself for sticking to her guns on that matter. She had no proof other than a messy house. Even if he had believed her, he would have insisted to either stay at the apartment or have her go to his.

He would have insisted she get rid of G.

It wasn’t a bad idea, finding G another home. The cat could probably find a family with more time and more money. The cardboard box he had in the corner and sharing her bed was probably kind of second rate compared to what others could offer him.

However…

Finding him a new home assumed that he could turn into a man.

“He’s a cat, Hakuno,” she told herself, pulling up the internet and her resources from before.

Now was the time for apologizing for her absence today. Tomorrow she would be working. She could stop by Emiya’s to pick up her assignment information and asking for his notes.

G leaped up onto the couch.

Those red eyes were watching her fingers move across the keyboard as she typed up a poor excuse for her professor and began to work. She could see him in her peripheral, moving slowly closer and closer as her fingers moved across the various keys.

His paws pat at one of the keys.

“G,” she growled.

Those eyes looked at her a moment before those eyes were on the screen.

His paw bat at the cuneiform on the screen.

Her mouse wasn’t moving.

He had no reason to-

As my wife, you shall not need to concern yourself with mongrel ratings. In fact, I have planned to send my friend Enkidu to pay this man a visit when we are done returning to Uruk.

Hakuno paused a moment, her eyes drifting to the textbook she hadn’t opened yet.

Someone from the time of Uruk wouldn’t know their language. It was far different from the dead language that had been common. Sumerian was in her book though. It was written and it had her language next to it.

This was such a foolish thing to do.

“Come here, G.”

Hakuno pulled the cat alongside her, pulling her book from the clear wrapping that it was in and opening it. She flipped through the foreward, settling on the basics for a dictionary at the front and held the book for the cat to paw at.

“I’m losing my mind, G. If you are a human being, give me a message.”

The cat stared at her.

Probably because she was attempting to have the cat communicate like some kind of Ouija board.

Tomorrow, she would go out and she would run her day like usual. She was going to take a few days and maybe go visit Emiya after the semester was done. A break was clearly calling for her and she was missing the call.

Yes, she needed to do some serious resting.

G meowed at her.

His paw hit the page.

Glancing over the book, she froze.

A greeting.

His paw had hit a moment of speech in the Epic that she had opened the book up to. Those red eyes were watching her.

“…You could just be a cat.”

The male cat moved its paw to another statement on the page and to the bottom.

King… disappointed.

No.

Hakuno stood up, moving away from the cat. Her feet moved along the carpet, her eyes closing as she tried to allow herself to think clearer.

G meowed from his spot on the end table.

“You said Enkidu last night.”

She knew that name. There was a story in her books that talked about someone with that name.

She fumbled with the books, flipping through pages as the cat moved around her person. The more she looked, the more she found G’s actions to be unusual.

He focused on her a bit too much.

He was so careful about where he sat.

He didn’t lick himself as much as she’d seen cats at the petstore clean themselves. He even used the toilet, a fact that Emiya and the vet when she had called them both had said was unnatural.

“Cats do not teach themselves to use the toilet.”

G had though.

He’d gone straight to her bathroom and used it like he’d been doing so his whole life.

G meowed again.

His paw was patting at the same spot as before on the book.

“Okay.” Hakuno moved back over to the cat again, setting on the coffee table and flipping through the book. “G, I need you to point to words that mean what I tell you, okay? Point to forest.”

The cat pawed at the cuneiform for forest.

“Temple maiden.”

Again, he paused the word.

“Wife.”

The cat lifted his paw and bopped her nose.

She was talking to her cat.

Her cat was claiming that she was his wife.

Her cat could turn into a man at any moment and resume that same nonsense as before with trying to get her to take him to a country that didn’t exist anymore and then possibly lose his temper and kill her.

“Alright.” Hakuno closed the book, setting it down quietly.

Her eyes drifted over to the cat, finding him sitting tall and seemingly quite proud of himself. No matter how she looked at it, he seemed to be waiting for her to speak.

He was listening.

He was understanding.

“Alright… Right…”

She was feeling a bit lightheaded for some reason.

Maybe if she just… laid down…

My cat is a human.

She needed to do a lot more resting.

G is a man… and he’s been in my baths and bed for over a month now.

G moved close, curling up against her shoulder and purring loudly.

She would learn the details tomorrow.

Everything sounded better as a task for tomorrow.

#drabble #drabbles