#and like. neurodivergent people interact in different ways and we need to address and talk about that

[darklight572]

Lumity is my Favorite Ship

So far I've only talked about She-Ra, specifically, about takes the fandom have I find....uncritical of the media. Just talking about the negative and analyzing that is only half of the human experience though, and I really don't like contributing to the 'social media hate cycle' so to speak.

Lumity is my favorite ship in all of media, and -imo- probably one of the most well written ones too. For those unaware "Lumity" refers to the fictional characters Luz Noceda and Amity Blight's romantic relationship within The Owl House. Being too broad it follows the "enemies to lovers" format of taking two superficially opposed characters and having them slowly understand how one or both of them aren't actually opposed, comulating in a relationship. And yes, I do think enemies to lovers is about superficial differences, come at me.

Anyways, first I want to establish the context of the relationship- who are the characters, how they interact, and how do their interactions produce the best and most wholesome romance relationship in fiction? So- starting off, context

CONTEXT (Luz the Misunderstood) Luz Noceda is a 14 year old dominican americal girl who expresses herself blatantaly as neurodivergent. Dana Terrace has explicitly called Luz adhd, and as a adhd-er myself i absolutely think she nailed at least one version of adhd. Luz can be easily distracted or focus so heavily on something she neglects others, she goes off on tangents, and worries that her interests scare people off- cuz they do.

She's also incredibly creative and expressive, showing off her unique style and presentation to all without any hesitation. To the point she uses real life snakes in a presentation and has backup snakes (also fireworks, which, yeah). After the aforementioned presentation went... off the rails, her mother and principal decide its in her best interest to attend a place called "Reality Check Camp". Now, this has spawned a lot of discourse within the Fandom, but for now lets leave it at her mother wanting her to try to make real friends because "your (Luz's) fantasy world is holding you back."

This is key to understanding Luz as a character, her fantast world was in fact, not holding her back. While there is absolutely credence to the fact that Luz was planning to use fireworks at some point, and should probably be checking to see if her snakes were safe, the key point here is the framing of Luz's interests as "holding her back" from making real friends. This is extremely interesting due to the fact that her love of fantasy is seemingly inspried by Azura, a book her late father left for her. Its also notable that people can like all of the things Luz likes and not create dangerous situations. A key point here, regardless of if Camila is justified or not, is that there is a fundamental misunderstanding of the problem.

All of Luz's interests are not what creates the conflict, its a lack of awareness for some of the consequences of her actions, which isn't unique to Luz at all- just displayed differently. I think this is something a lot of neurodivergent folk can relate to, believing that we are uniquely troubled people who hurt people. No, in fact, we are not. What Luz needed wasn't a "reality camp" it was a place where people accepted her, so that she could have the space to open up and the real problem could be addressed. Luckily for our protag, this is exactly what the boiling isles present.

CONTEXT P. II (Amity the Lonely) Amity Blight is a 14 year old witch of the wealthy blight industries. She starts the show as demeaning and cruel, and in some ways is that way, but is later shown as kind and overwhelmingly loyal. This is not a contradiction in her, but dichotomies and growth. Amity is abused her parents, this is just the objective fact of the matter, her friendship is weaponized to make her feel lesser and is actively threatening said friend's future.

Willow isn't the main point of this post, but she is vital as a perspective to view Amity, as children they were best friends. But Willow wasn't as naturally talented at magic as Amity was. Amity, being 4, didn't necessarily see this as a bad thing- but her parents did. They have a toxic idea that the Blights should only interact with those fit to interact with them, usually in the context of social or literal power- though an emphasis on social. So when it became apparent that Willow wasn't progressing fast enough, they threatened to have Willow never able to go to hexside (the magical school the characters attend).

This is- a lot- but afterwards Amity uses Willow's seeming powerlessness as the justification for the breaking off of their friendship, and as time goes on, begins to bully Willow from some amount of geinune distaste. It should be EXTREMELY clear however, that Amity's bullying is very directly linked to her mother's expectations. Lets get into that a bit, Odalia Blight expects perfection from Amity- her grades, her social standing, her appearance. All three of the Blight siblings must create an artificial layer to appease their mother.

Amity in particular is practically forced to die her hair green to fit in with the majority of the family, even if she doesn't particularly like her green hair. All of these are expectations, and more importantly, conditions for Amity to attain any sort of love or affection. Her father neglects all of his children, and her older twin siblings harass her with jokes. Her only form of attachments are Boscha and Skara, two people picked out by her mother as "appropriate options" for friends. That is to say, Amity actually has no one, she is- alone.

Amity volunteers at the library to read to children, and at least at some point, works there. She has a place where she can indulge in her fantasy books and not have to care about expectations quite so much. The person who treats her most kind before the start of the series is her librarian boss.... thats a very low point- especially for a 14 year old.

INTERACTIONS (The Enemy Part) Luz and Amity first collide in "I was a Teenage Abomination", and in fact, is the first episode featuring Amity at all. For context, in this episode, we see Willow belittled by Amity for her lack of skill with abominations, and Luz disillusioned by Eda's non-teaching brand of teaching. So they make a deal, Luz will pretend to be an abomination so Willow can make a better grade and Luz will get to see some of Hexside. Until this episode, Amity is the "top student" of the abomination track.

With Luz's ability to speak and do more complex orders (as...she's a person), Willow is granted the top student badge. We see throughout the rest of the episode that Amity is suspicious and eventually tells Principal Bump- who seems to ask Willow to disect Luz. When they run away, Amity chases after them, and its only Willow's plant magic prowess that allows Luz to escape. Thats- a lot- but some key points we need to remember: Bump, in the end, doesn't disect Luz- and later on is nonhostile to her- its fair to say that the dissection was just a ploy to get Willow to admit her friend was an abomination.

It should be clear why Amity is so upset based on the context we established earlier: Amity is pressured to be perfect, she is socially isolated, and she is mandated to keep Willow's and her ties cut at consequence of Willow's future at hexside (this is later shown to very much not be an empty threat). To me its clear that she's not actually upset at Luz here, she's angry that her only form of validation she can get- being the best- is taken by a cheater. She takes this so seriously because the ONLY affection she receives (calling it affection is overexaggerating even) is when she's perfect.

The next time they interact in a major way is in episode 5 "Convention," Amity is frustrated at Luz when she runs into her because she blames her for her loss of her "Top Student" status. Which isn't unfair, her actions afterward are, but Amity has a legitmate point here that Luz's actions have negatively impacted her. This is important for Luz's character development and for understanding Amity's actions. Luz is not perfect here, and we've seen throughout the beginning episodes how Luz struggles to reconcile her preconcieved notions with the reality of her situation, the consequences of her actions.

Luz accidentally accepts a deal that would permanently have her stop training in magic if she loses a duel with Amity, and then loses, sorta. You see both Eda and Lilith (Luz and Amity's mentors respectively) cheat to give their student an advantage. Luz knows and tries not to let Amity fall into the magic mines Eda plants but Amity does not know about the sigil on her neck until Eda reveals it. Amity runs away and blames Luz for humiliating her. Now, this isn't quite so fair, Eda was responsible- but as Luz explains her desires and that she geniunely didn't mean to Amity listens and we see the first tender interaction between them.

Its really not even calling them friends at this point, but it does start to shift them away from "enemies" and make them... rivals? Its complicated and messy, but Luz starts to understand Amity here- understands that she did harm Amity with her actions and learns what she has to do to be better.

INTERACTIONS P. II (Friends) The next time they have a major interaction is episode 7, "Lost in Language", this is when Luz see's Amity reading to children in the library and first seriously shows her desire to befriend Amity. This is possible because Luz has already gotten the "primer" so to speak in understanding Amity. Luz is able to see Amity more clearly because she was previously able to extend compassion past an apathetic or even cruel exterior and take responsibility for her actions.

Amity is hostile at first, but not aggressively so, and puts up with Luz much more peacefully than prior. Though she still doesn't necessarily like Luz due to Luz's previous transgressions against her, calling her a bully. Luz seemingly proves this when, after being peer pressured by Amity's siblings, accidentally reads her diary. After some Owl House shenanigans where Luz tries to save Amity, Luz reaches out and gives Amity her fifth Azura book. This episode is important in correcting Amity's impression of Luz- she wasn't trying to harm Amity, she just- wants friends and tends to be pretty reckless at times.

Seeing Luz's continued insistence also lets Amity reflect on her own behavior, while she's done so before in releasing Luz from their magical oath, this is the first time she outright states that her behavior isn't good. All of this is vital to slowly developing their friendship, maybe they aren't friends by the end of the episode, but they can firmly say they aren't enemies.

Next episode they interact is episode 12 "Adventures in the Elements" and is a pivotal part of their development. This Amity is the least guarded around Luz, while she still isn't showing her geniune emotions at first, she isn't hostile to Luz at all. The only conflict in the episode is caused by Luz stealing Amity's training staff and waking up a Slitherbeast (an otherwise neutral beast) who steals Amity's siblings and Eda.

Amity puts Luz in a forcefield to protect her, not believing that Luz is up to rescuing her mentor. After Luz shows her wrong and they save everyone, they have another positive interaction- at this point- it is fair to say that they have become friends. This isn't the first time Amity has tried to help Luz, she did in "Lost in Languages" too, but this is the first time she does so proactively and not when she is in direct danger. Amity cares about Luz.

The next three episodes they prominently interact in, "Understanding Willow" (15), "Enchanting Grom Fright" (16), and "Wing it like Witches" (17) all develop this friendship into something more- at least for Amity. Starting with Understanding Willow, this episode further illucidates Amity's issues, finally revealing why she cut off her friendship with Willow and her parents part in that. Willow doesn't immediately forgive Amity, but it does allow her to understand Amity better (as do the audience)- i think this is the episode where people start to align with Luz's perception of Amity.

its also the episode, imo, that Amity firmly establishes her crush on Luz. In this episode, despite Amity's blatant mistake and cause of the problem, Luz reaches out and gives her compassion. Not judging her, just asking her to take accountability for her actions. And although she does try to hide some things, ultimately what shes really hiding is what her parents did to her, very understandable. Its also notable that the reason Amity tries to burn that memory in the first place is no doubt trying to hide any relationship with Willow- as her mother might still be on the prowl and hurt Willow that way.

This is the second time Luz manages to make Amity blush, but even despite that, their friendship is still slightly rocky. Amity raises her voice at Luz when she tries to convince her to fix the core memory- we understand with the context of the memory itself that Amity is desperately trying to hide from what she did- from what her mother made her do- at least partially. Most importantly, at the end of the episode Amity finally takes full accountability. Even though her mother did make her sever their ties, Amity still bullied Willow- and its clear both of them know that.

Amity at this point has seen Luz make mistake after mistake, hurt people over and over, but she's also seen that Luz is always accountable for her mistakes- and always do her very best to make up for them. Luz, on the other hand, is learning to be more careful about what she does- though thats not fully driven through at this point, the embers are there. I think the compassion and her learning from Luz here is what first lets Amity begin to crush on Luz.

Next, and one of the most important episodes for Lumity, is Enchanting Grom Fright- where Amity is afriad to ask Luz to Grom - and Amity herself is slated to fight Grom- a magical creature one student has to fight every year that can manifest their worst fears. Given that, Amity of course is extremely grateful when Luz volunteers to be "Grom Queen" instead. This however, doesn't go as well as it could have, when Luz runs away when her mother is what Grom shows her- displaying Luz's fear: that her mother will find out where she's been and believe Luz was lying to her out of- a lot of reasons.

Amity goes after her and faces her fear with Luz to defeat Grom- Luz see's Amity's fear- vaguely being rejected - and isn't aware Amity wanted to ask her to Grom. Luz offers to be her date instead (she did not assume Amity wanted to ask her), and they dance and have a nice night. This is the first real time Luz really expresses any sort of romantic interest in Amity, and could be reasonably interpreted as her being bubbly and friendly. Though it is notable that Luz is very insistent on being Amitys friend even before this, so its not like its unreasonable to assume Luz was already- maybe subconsciously- crushing on Amity prior.

Finally, for this section we have "Wing it like Witches" episode 17- and the last time Luz and Amity majorly interact in season 1. In this episode Luz pushes her friends too hard when shes trying to help them, this pushes Willow and Gus away and Luz is in trouble without them. Amity rescues Luz by reminding Willow that Luz didn't have any bad intentions she was just trying to help. Luz still takes accountability though, and even begins to change the "enemies" by showing them compassion. This episode is almost like a mini-arc for Lumity- Luz messing up but always taking accountability, and changing those who would be her enemies into friends with compassion.

LUMITY (Partners!) Finally, we arrive at S2, and where things start to really head toward endgame Lumity. The first major interaction between the two is in episode 2 of season 2 "Escaping Expulsion". Odalia cashes in on the threat she made so long ago, after finding out that Gus, Willow, and Luz are Amity's friends she arrives and has them expelled from school. Amity is too frightened of her mother to speak back at first and doesn't help Luz when she wants to speak with her mother. This continues Amity's trend of trying to protect Luz in her own way, under the manipulation of her mother.

Later on, when Luz makes a deal with Odalia anyway, Amity-Willow-and Gus go to save her from her parents- as Odalia doesn't plan on letting Luz go (presumably she's going to MURDER Luz in front of her investors which- wjsdf yeah Odalia is a horrible person), Amity saves Luz and we see for the first time Luz blushing at Amity- this is probably when you can first say Luz might be crushing on Amity. This shows that Amity is willing to stand up to her abuser for Luz, and yes Willow and Gus- but i think its evident that she is especially willing- some might even say seeing Luz get hurt is the motivation she needs- to stand up to Odalia.

Episode 5, "Through the Looking Glass Ruin" is very very important- because here they practically both admit they like each other. So- some set up- at this point Luz had to destroy the portal back home so that Emperor Belos (the real antagonist) couldn't use it for his own purposes- after some research she's finally discovered that another human was in the isles before and donated his diary to the library. Amity offers to help Luz find it among the "forbidden stacks" where no one is allowed to go. This is also when Amity reveals that her boss is the one that gave her her secret hideaway.

Luz is too loud when they discover the diary has been eaten by an Echo Mouse and Amity loses her job. During this episode we see Luz try not to pressure Amity in, but Amity helps Luz anyway- motivated by her crush on Luz- and just, wanting to help her. In the end they both admit that "they do stupid things around" the other- and Luz goes back in to get Amity's employeship back- and has to do trials to do so. After explaining things Amity kisses Luz on the cheek and perhaps the most wholesome seen in all of disney plays, only challenged by later Lumity scenes. Anyway- take aways: once again Amity is reminded of Luz's never ending compassion and continued commitment to taking accountability for her actions and most importantly- her mistakes.

After this, we finally get to their relationship starting: Episode 8, "Knock. Knock, Knockin' on Hooty's Door" Hooty attempts to solves all of the Owl House inhabitants struggles- and in that quest- kidnaps Amity and makes Luz and Amity go through the tunnel of love together. In her embarrassment Luz tears things down and accidentally hurts Amity. At this point, Amity probably believes Luz hates the idea of being with her, but this is quickly slashed after Eda encourages Luz to just ask her. Both of them are reduced to blushing messes but they manage to ask each other out and hold each other's pinkie- in again- an incredibly adorable scene.

This works so well because of the consistent set up- both of them have developed so far to get to this point- both of them have learned and become better people than they were, and have become close friends willing to help and support each other when they need it. Its not just that its adorable, its that it helped develop both characters grander arcs and is healthy.

Relationship (The Pay Off) I could continue to break this relationship down episode by episode, and at some point i will, but this post is already long enough- so im gonna hit the major points. Luz and Amity's adventures going forward are so great because they continually show a healthy, adorable, and positive relationship. That is to say, they help support one another, they continue to be friends, and they both continue to develop.

In Eclipse Lake, Amity mistakes Luz's message (with some nudging from the Golden Guard- long story: he's an antagonist kind of, mostly just another abused kid) as a condition for their relationship, but comes to the realization with King's help that their relationship - unlike so many in Amity's life- isn't conditional. In the best episode of the show (don't @ me) Reaching Out, Luz learns to - lmao- reach out when she tries to hide that she's hurting by insisting on helping Amity. She ends up lying to Amity to continue hiding, and hurts her- but its revealed that its the anniversary of her father's death.

Luz, again, takes accountability for her actions- but Amity still comforts her and supports her- Luz learns (at least partially) to reach out for help. Every interaction of Amity and Luz isn't wholeness heaven with no bad things happening, these kids make mistakes and sorta tumble through their first relationship together, but... they learn. They take account for their mistakes and work together to fix the mistake, they learn to confide in each other, that their relationship isn't dependent on conditions.

The reason Lumity's my favorite ship? It shows two queer kids finding each other, starting off against each other, but through compassion and understanding they become friends and something more. Then, they maintain that relationship, while maintaining their indviduality. They are not absorbed by their relationship, instead they are helped and improved.

"We can fix this together."

#owl house #lumity #luz noceda #amity blight

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

I'm kind of bitter about jungkook being singled out for the world cup with a possible solo song because he's conventionally Man and Het and the one people expect to like and enjoy football when that's always been jimin, who's also the best player too as far as we saw. But of course jimin has not been considered because he doesn't fit the mold. And I'm tired of jimin not being seen as a man enough, of being treated like lesser then, have the famous women treatment and insults thrown at him from everywhere. It's not fair

I wouldn't say I'm bitter, but it's more of the feeling like when you were expecting something and get something else lol. Pretty much the same as I felt when it was announced that With You would be a duet; I thought it was Jimin's solo but then it didn't turn out that way and I wasn't upset but there was that feeling of having to get used to something different than what you were expecting. I kind of feel the same way about the world cup thing because it was said at first that BTS would do the song, and obviously we all thought that it would be the whole group.

Now, Jungkook has always been BTS brand, if there's one way bighit could summarize BTS as a brand, it would be JK. He's quintessentially theee idol from his singing and dancing to his looks to the way he interacts with fans, it doesn't get any more idol. That's objective facts, and it's there whether anyone acknowledges it or not, maybe you don't like him as a person or whatever, but he is talented, that's what I mean by objective facts. And like you said, which is something I 100000% agree with, he's objectively Het and Man and commercially easier to digest than other members. Some people would even tell you he doesn't "look too Korean". Even if he turns out not straight, even then, his gender expression is not blaring any sirens and none of us actually know anything about his love life. So he's conventionally het, masculine, singer, dancer, attractive and hot, evasive enough to keep people interested but not actually telling, that's literally idol 101.

On top of that, he also has a lot of subjective elements "projected" (for lack of a better word) onto him, like he's the baby of the group, everyone loves a Jungkook ship, people see themselves in him because they see him as awkward, shy, gay, introverted, etc. Some people even think he's neurodivergent (which is a tremendous stretch). Idols kind of need to be a blank slate where people can see themselves reflected.

I've talked before about when there were news in 2018 that JK had bought his own apartment and bighit immediately put out a statement about how they "couldn't confirm". That was November 2018 and before that we already knew Taehyung, Yoongi, Jin, Hoseok had bought their own apartments and there were no statements about them but with Jungkook suddenly there was. This was when they were still "living together" on record, so I remember thinking they couldn't say the youngest had left home because then what happens to the happy family story? Mind you, late 2018 was the year almost everyone got their own homes and by 2019 they were already arriving to airports and schedules on very obvious designed sets that made sense with their known addresses (Hoseok+JK, Jin+Yoongi, Taehyung alone, sometimes with Namjoon, Jimin alone or sometimes with Namjoon too).

I strongly believe he was chosen by the company to represent the group in Qatar because of everything mentioned above, and he will probably keep being selected as the "face" of the group to participate in events that the group was supposed to participate in. Namjoon also fits a lot of what I said about JK, adding to that his position as leader and that he speaks English so I think he will be chosen to "represent" the group in the same or similar ways.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

interruptions are a natural part of conversation, and sometimes i want to strangle people who just dismiss them as “rude”. interruptions are not automatically rude. they are a social signal & a form of communication. they can be rude depending on how they’re used. but they are also useful and necessary for many people (neurodivergent people especially). so we need to have a conversation about different forms of interruption, and what they mean.

#what's really interesting to me as a neurodivergent person who interacts w/ neurodivergent & neurotypical people alike #is how very DIFFERENTLY so many people treat interruptions. #i meet lots of neurodivergent folks who are like 'PLEASE interrupt me if i'm talking too much and you want a turn to speak' #and then there's my autistic father who will fucking yell at me if i interrupt him #which has nothing to do with autism and EVERYTHING to do with his attitudes towards power & patriarchy #and then there's plenty of neurotypical people who just fucking do not care about sharing the conversation #in small talk especially. i've met soooo many people who just seem to view me as an audience for their opinions or backstory #and then there are neurodivergent people i'm related to who i see make very real attempts to interact thoughtfully around OTHER people #and very minimal attempts to do so around me #and plenty of neurotypical people who just don't think you're worth listening to until you can PROVE it #and like. neurodivergent people interact in different ways and we need to address and talk about that #but also the sheer extent to which so many of us find we get dismissed and ignored in basic conversation-- #like i wanna talk about neurodivergent needs but also i sorta wanna shout about how the way society treats conversation in GENERAL #is sorta fucking toxic #and really tends to encourage dominating attitudes and hands control & influence to the louder ruder more 'authorative' individuals #which of course tend to be people with more social capital #i'm just fucking sick of it like please start making an EFFORT to include people #it won't work all the time but making an effort and above all trying to convey RESPECT in your interactions with others #that will make a huge difference. even and especially when you struggle with conversing in general #but anyway i do feel like neurodivergent people in general tend to be more understanding of interruptions #and more likely to react with 'oh would you like to speak now?' as opposed to 'i'm just going to speak over you' #like we tend to ramble but we also tend to be aware of that and to believe that you have a right to make your conversational needs known #so PLEASE stop automatically dismissing interruptions as 'rude' #and start examining why they are happening and what motivates them #examine the motivations behind the actions before assigning blame

[the-ferocious-kittyrose]

My complicated opinion on Keith Kogane

Keith Kogane is definitely one of the more popular characters in the VLD fandom. People love brooding emo bad boys.

My feelings on Keith are... complicated. I definitely don’t hate him. I have a lot of problems with the character but I don’t think I could ever bring myself to actually hate him. Mainly because I kinda relate to him. We both have problems controlling our emotions, interacting with people, and making friends.

And we both have trouble believing there are people who truly have our best interests at heart and won’t abandon us because we’re a burden.

What I do hate is the way his character was written and the way it negatively impacted the characters around him.

There are definitely a lot of factors that contributed to VLD ending up the way it did. But to me, Keith and the writers insistence on pushing him to the forefront was the poison that killed the show.

Ok, before we get into this whole rant I feel like I should talk about the things I do like about Keith.

I like the premise of Keith’s character. He’s half Galra and never really fit in on Earth. He didn’t act like the other “normal” kids so kids made fun of him and adults didn’t want to deal with him. So in order to protect himself from the pain of rejection he would put up a tough angry facade and push people away and reject them before they could reject him.

This is something that really resonates with me personally having grown up neurodivergent. It’s awful growing up in a world that isn’t made for people like you and not knowing how to interact with or connect with your peers. Especially when you don’t know why you’re like that.

You learn to avoid social interaction because it always ends up negative. You put up walls because you don’t feel like anybody understands you or what you’re going through.

I know the writers probably didn’t intend to code Keith as neurodivergent. They just wanted Keith to be a hothead with abandonment issues, but nonetheless, this interpretation means a lot to me.

I also really like his relationship with Shiro. Keith is so used to being left behind and abandoned that when he meets someone like Shiro who’s patient and genuinely cares it’s new and strange. He’s so ready for Shiro to abandon him, even telling Shiro to send him back to the home, but Shiro refuses to leave him and tells Keith ethat he’s never going to give up on him.

It’s also interesting to see how their relationship develops over time. It’s clear Keith trusts Shiro, but you can tell that that fear of abandonment is still there deep down. In S2, Keith tells Shiro that he’s like a brother to him, and then in season 6, he takes the extra step and tells Shiro that he IS his brother and that he loves him. And for someone like Keith, telling their friend they love them is a big scary thing.

And also it’s just great to see a platonic “I love you,” especially between two guys. Don’t be afraid to tell your bros you love them!!!

Now let’s talk about the stuff I didn’t like.

Keith doesn’t have much going for him in terms of personality. He’s just sorta brooding and serious all the time. He does make jokes occasionally but it’s rare. The writers were more focused on making him cool and badass rather than fun.

I always loved the idea of Keith as a cocky carefree asshole who doesn’t give a shit about rules/laws and is kinda rude/aggressive but has a heart of gold deep down and would do anything for the people he cares about. (Just like a cat.)

I would also make him more alien esc. In terms of design I like the idea of Keith having red eyes with narrow pupils and fangs. And also just small things like the way he walks and holds himself. He growls and bears his teeth when he’s angry, his hair puffs up when scared, he’s fast and agile, disappearing and reappearing without making much noise, small things.

Then you have his race and sexuality. I have no doubt in my mind that Keith was intended to be a straight white dude. A lot of people see him as gay and Asian but there’s no evidence for this in canon. Acxa was originally intended to be his love interest and his race was never mentioned in canon. His name isn’t even Kogane in canon. (And the race of the voice actor doesn’t equal the race of the character. If that was the case Shiro, Hunk, and Lance would be white.)

They should’ve totally made Keith Japanese like he was in the original. It would’ve been so easy! Just canonize Kogane as his last name and have the book say he’s half Japanese half Galra. They could’ve also done what they did with Shiro and keep his og GoLion name. Just have him be Akira Kogane. Definitely cooler than “Keith.”

And as for his sexuality, I definitely think they should’ve had Keith be gay. But well get to that Later...

I also don’t like how they handled the whole Krolia thing. Not only was it crazy rushed, but it completely goes against the shows theme of found family.

Keith’s arc should’ve been about overcoming his abandonment issues and learning to accept the paladins as family. But instead they just get rid of the abandonment issues by just giving him his mom back.

I know a lot of people love Krolia but I don’t feel like she should’ve been introduced in anything other than flashbacks. Because Keith’s mom isn’t really that important. The show is about found family and friendship, not blood relation.

You can definitely have Keith learn about his mom and his family, but I feel like giving him his mom back was too much.

Personally, I always headcanoned that Kolivan was Keith’s grandfather or just a close friend of Krolia’s, and when Keith showed up at the Blade’s base Kolivan recognized the blade as his Krolia’s. Keith could learn about his mom through Kolivan telling him about her, how she was a great person and warrior who died fighting to make the universe a safer place for her son.

Another thing I didn’t like was the whole Keith leaving the team for the Blades thing. I know why he did it, he felt like the team was gonna reject him, he wanted to be more useful, and wanted to learn about his family, but I feel like you could’ve touched on all that without having him abandon his team.

One of the biggest problems with the show is that they did a bad job at establishing the paladins as friends, they feel like coworkers more than anything, and I feel like Keith being absent for two seasons contributed to that.

And his absence is hardly addressed. The team forms Voltron perfectly without him and no one ever says they miss him. Keith doesn’t even seem like he missed them after being gone for two years.

And a lot of the weight was taken out of that Keith v Kuron fight by the fact that Keith and Kuron hardly interacted.

That whole thing amounted to four things, Keith meeting Krolia (which I don’t think should’ve happened), them finding the colony (which was a dumb plot I don’t think should’ve happened), Keith aging up two years (which was weird and unnecessary), and Keith meeting Kosmo (which is... complicated).

I don’t think this plot was necessary. Keith should’ve stayed with his team.

Then you have his relationship with Lance. I know people are very sensitive about this topic. People have very strong opinions about whether or not Keith and Lance were intended to be romantically coded.

Personally, I do like Klance but I don’t believe they were romantically coded. I think if you want them to get together some things would have to go differently.

For example, the bonding moment. In canon, Lance tells Keith, “we make a good team.” I don’t see this as referring to him and Keith. I think he was talking about the whole team. If you want it to be about the two of them, I feel like it should be Lance telling Keith something like, “ya know, you’re not so bad after all,” and then Keith smiles and responds, “you’re not so bad yourself.”

Another example could be the scene where Lance comes to Keith with his insecurities. (Whether it’s as a leader or a friend.) This scene was weird in canon, Lance comes to Keith for advice and Keith basically tells him to just stop thinking about it.

I would prefer if Lance brought up to Keith how he doesn’t feel like he’s good enough or that he doesn’t have, “a thing,” and Keith is completely dumbfounded like, “what are you even talking about?” He goes on about all the good shit about Lance. Talks about how Blue chose him, how he’s a great shot, how he’s good at dealing with people, meanwhile Lance is standing there in shock as Keith says all these nice things about him.

Over all you would just have to develop their relationship more. More meaningful interactions. And if you want the relationship to be romantic you would have to establish that early on. Establish that one or both has romantic feelings for the other in like S1/S2 because if you wait too long it’s gonna feel forced/out of no where.

And then... you have the Black Paladin arc... I’m gonna be real with y’all, this is the arc that killed the show for me, for a few reasons.

One, even ignoring the whole quintessence bond thing, it makes no sense for Keith to be the bp. He doesn’t fit the role. I adore Shiro but choosing Keith as his successor was a dumb move. I get that he saw potential in Keith but they’re are fighting a war, there’s no room for favoritism.

Shiro should’ve chosen Allura as his successor. Not only does she have actual leadership experience, but you would only have one paladin in a new Lion instead of three.

If a lifeguard breaks his leg and can’t work, he should choose an experienced swimmers to take his place, not his little bro that’s still in water wings in the hopes that it’ll teach him to swim.

Two, Keith being the bp doesn’t help his arc. Keith’s arc is about overcoming his abandonment issues and learning to be a team player, he doesn’t need to be the leader for that.

VLD should’ve been about the paladins growing into the best versions of themselves they could be. Their development shown by unlocking new abilities in their respective lions, new forms for their bayards, and new Voltron bayard power ups. They shouldn’t have to change lions and themselves.

Keith and Red have a strong bond and work great together. Keith and Red are both temperamental, unpredictable, and have issues with trust. Keith having to fight to get Red to trust and open up to him mirrors how others have to fight to earn Keith’s trust and get him to let down his walls.

It would’ve been interesting to see them grow together. Keith has no emotional connection with Black.

We never even get to see them bond. Keith just suddenly becomes the “perfect” bp/leader because he got over his mommy issues

Three, it’s a MASSIVE disservice to Shiro’s character. Shiro put all the work in earning his position as the bp, he literally fits fought Zarkon on the astral plane to earn her trust, yet Keith is the true bp? What?

It sucks. Sendak told Shiro that a monster like him could never be a paladin and the writers went and proved him right. Hell Shiro didn’t even get to kill Sendak, Keith got that too.

And don’t tell me, “but he got the Atlas!” REALLY!? A massive Deus ex machina that required absolutely no effort from him to acquire!? Filled with a bunch of rando background characters no one gives a shit about!? You’re totally right, that 100% makes up for it.

I could go on and on about how the treatment of Shiro in this show (and fandom) is blatantly ableist but that’s a rant for another time.

It sucks. I want to like Keith! He had the potential to be an amazing character but the writers just kept on trying to turn him into something he wasn’t and it ruined him for me.

They kept trying to turn Keith into the main character and ignored that ALL the paladins are the main characters. It’s an ensemble cast! You don’t have to have everything come back to one guy.

#voltron #voltron legendary defender #voltron legendary discourse #vld #vld critical #keith kogane #keith vld #red paladin keith #klance #krolia #black paladin shiro #takashi shirogane #vld shiro #black lion #red lion #galra #galra keith #blade of marmora

[a-nice-and-interpretive-fanzine]

[ID: A cream-colored banner that says "A Nice and Interpretive Fanzine: essays and art about the meanings we've found in Good Omens." There is a photo of a book page with a key on it behind the banner text. The photo source is rosy_photo on Pixabay. /end ID]

A Nice and Interpretive Fanzine: Information Masterpost

Welcome!

This is a zine for those of us who love the subtle, complex work that is Good Omens, and who’ve enjoyed the thoughtfulness of the fandom as people interpret how the many moving pieces of the story come together, creating a slightly different meaning for each of us.

To put it simply, it’s a book full of the fandom’s own analysis and commentary about the Good Omens TV show, enhanced with illustrations from our brilliant artists.

This zine is analytical in the sense that all the writers are expressing their own nonfiction thoughts and feelings about the show, rather than writing fanfic, but it is not meant to be heavily academic. Anybody who likes to pick apart the series and discuss it should be able to enjoy it.

The zine will contain essays by fans who are passionate about analyzing and interpreting different parts of Good Omens - the characters, the plot, the writing techniques for the book and script, the cinematography of the TV show, the popular content of the fandom itself. Accompanying these essays will be black and white illustrations from our artists.

How are you organizing this process?

May 1-May 15: Everyone submits their application to do writing or art through a Google form. Behind the scenes, I’ll be setting up a separate email and Discord.

May 16-20: Applicants will be screened during this time.

May 20: I’ll email everyone to let them know the outcomes of their applications. The final participants will get a link to the Discord server for the zine (totally optional, of course).

May 21: If there’s any clarification or solidifying of ideas that needs to happen, I’ll contact you and discuss with you by this point. This is also when artists will be matched up with essays.

May 22 to August 14: This will be a period of just working on our essays and art. The Discord chat and Tumblr will be there for support and for exchanging ideas!

August 15: Participants need to email their full works to the zine’s email address by this date. No special formatting is needed; I’ll do that in InDesign.

August 15 to August 31: I’ll be putting the zine together in InDesign.

September 1: Preorders will open.

September 30: Preorders will close.

October 1: The zine order will be placed!

October 15: Assuming all goes well with printing and shipping, the zines will be shipped out in waves starting on this date. If the printing or shipping from the manufacturer is delayed, then shipping will just start ASAP.

Writer Application HERE Artist Application HERE Asked and Answered Questions on Tumblr The Fanzine's Page on Twitter

Read below for more detailed information about the zine in a Q and A format!

What are the specifications for the zine contributions?

For writers, I’m starting with 3k words or fewer per essay (approximately 10 pages at the size of this book). This depends heavily on how many participants we actually get, so it may change!

For artists, I’d be looking at black and white works, 300 DPI, 5.5 x 8.5 inches or smaller. If your art is supposed to fill up the entire page (i.e. no white space), please make it a total of 5.75 x 8.75 inches with nothing too important around the edges to account for bleed during the printing process.

Can I submit an essay to this zine if I’ve already posted it on Tumblr?

Not as you’ve already posted it. We don’t want to just copy/paste the exact thing that hundreds or perhaps even thousands of people have already read.

However, it IS fine and maybe even a good idea to take the same thought from your post and refine it, preserving your same thesis. For example, a lot of Tumblr posts are just us fans jotting down 5 or 6 paragraphs of random thoughts at 2 AM, but some of them are really cool thoughts! Expanding them and turning them into a bona-fide Essay would make those posts into excellent zine chapters. And you can copy small pieces of your own language as long as the whole thing isn’t just pasted word-for-word.

How long do essays have to be? Is there a limit?

With the number of writers we have, I've calculated that each person should ideally keep their essay to about 6000 words. There is wiggle room.

There’s no real minimum for your contribution; some analytical ideas are really good but can be expressed concisely, so it’s okay if your essays only come out to a few pages typed. For reference, with our book size, a page is about 300 words.

What happens if the zine sells a lot and you end up not only breaking even, but turning a profit?

It’ll go to charity. While I’ll ask the participants what they want to do for certain if we do make enough money, my suggestion will be donating it to Alzheimer’s Research UK in honor of Sir Terry Pratchett.

I’m not really comfortable calling this a “charity zine” up front since I simply don’t know if it will raise a significant amount. For the most part, I just want the thing to physically exist, which means breaking even, and don’t want to make it more expensive for buyers than it needs to be to afford the printing costs.

What kinds of essays are you talking about? What could be included?

In short, any analytical thoughts about the Good Omens TV show - and possibly even the fandom as it interacts with the show - are possible inclusions for the zine.

To expand a bit, think about the meta posts you see floating around Tumblr. Often these involve analyzing characters, or picking up on patterns in the plot. Sometimes fans use their own background knowledge to write posts about the significance of certain costume choices or the way music plays into each individual scene. Some posts examine the ways the series approaches gender, while others might discuss ways that the characters present as neurodivergent. That’s how diverse the pool of possibilities is for subjects in this zine.

How does art come into this?

Images will be black and white, to match the bookish mood of the project overall. Images can range in size from a half page to a full page.

I’m planning to talk to the artists and authors and loosely pair artists with essays that appeal to their personal interests.

I know how to illustrate a story, but how do I illustrate an essay?

There are infinite answers to this! I’ve seen some beautiful symbolic artwork in the fandom already (e.g. a number of takes on Aziraphale munching on an apple with Crowley in snake form curving around him), and there are tons of symbolic motifs to draw from, but these are not the only options. An artist illustrating an essay about cinematography, for example, could draw a well-known scene from an alternative angle. An essay about Heaven as a capitalist corporation could be illustrated with a cartoon of Gabriel giving some sort of excruciating PowerPoint presentation. A character analysis could be accompanied by a simple portrait. And on and on. I’m not interested in limiting the possibilities by trying to make a list, but just know that there are many and you don’t have to make it complicated if you don’t want to.

If the writers can reuse their essay ideas, can artists reuse their drawings?

Similarly to the writers, if you already have an interpretive drawing that you’re in love with, artists can use the same ideas and the same fundamental composition that is present in their own existing work. However, it has to be redone in some significant way. Whether it’s taking something you drew in 2019 and redrawing it using an updated style, taking a sketch and turning it into a lined and shaded piece, or redoing a full-color drawing so it presents more strikingly in black and white, it shouldn’t be identical to the thing you’ve already posted.

So how are you choosing participants here?

It’ll be based on what people are interested in writing about (or illustrating). I’ll be looking for people who are passionate about their essays, but I’ll also be looking for variety. It all depends on what people want to offer, so I won’t know for sure what it will look like put together until everyone’s application is in.

For artists, I’ll be trying to figure out whose style looks like it would adapt well to illustrations in black and white, and also who demonstrates an interest in the same subjects as the writers.

If we don’t get a lot of applicants, I’d love to simply include everyone, but I can’t commit to that without knowing for sure how many people are involved.

Do I have to use a formal writing style to participate?

No. You should use a style that makes your thoughts and ideas as clear as possible, but as long as it’s understandable, you can also get a little artistic with it. You can “write like you speak,” though perhaps in a more organized way. You definitely don’t need to worry about stylistic rules like not using the first person. This is not academia.

Is this zine going to center only on Crowley and Aziraphale?

That remains to be seen! It depends on what ideas show up in the applications. There will be a lot of the ineffable partners for sure, but whether the whole zine will center on them or whether there’s plentiful stuff about other characters will depend on what the participants suggest.

Do we have to agree with all your personal interpretations of Good Omens to be in the zine?

No! In fact, I’m assuming that a number of essays will contradict each other, too, and that’s perfectly okay. The zine is a sampler of fan interpretations meant to inspire, not instruct. It’s not “Here’s a fan-made guide on how to understand this TV show,” it’s “Look at all these moving parts and how many meanings we can find in them. What does it mean to you?”

However, there are some basic rules and assumptions by which I’m working here.

I don’t personally have the energy to include essays that are highly critical (“negative”) in this zine. It’s analytical but also meant to be fun.

I’m pretty focused on the TV adaptation. This isn’t “no book analysis allowed” but just that the essays will end up being weighted toward subjects that apply to either the TV show or both the book and the show.

Each writer should focus on making their own points over disproving other fan interpretations. If you’re writing in an expository style, it’s normal for the essay to contain rebuttals to opposing ideas, but these should be minor supporting points, not the heart and soul of your essay. For reference, I’d say the majority of meta I see floating around on tumblr would follow this rule just fine.

Essay ideas that seem to contain bigoted or exclusionary sentiments will not be accepted (no TERFy stuff, for example).

What kinds of editing will go into the zine? Are you going to argue with us about the contents of our writing?

While I might ask you to elaborate on certain points in your writing or clarify your thoughts about your subject, I’m absolutely not here to ask you to change the thesis, opinions, or headcanons on which your writing is based. If I really have a problem with your initial idea, I’ll tell you that up front and politely decline the contribution.

While formatting the zine, I’ll make minor edits if I think I see a typo or misspelling, something small and obviously unintentional. As with any other zine, your content won’t be changed without consulting you.

Is this a SFW zine?

Yes. If people want to discuss sexuality in a theoretical way, like erotic subtext, that would be allowed. There are canon references like Newt and Anathema’s moment under the bed that might come up, too. But there will be nothing explicit, and since these are essays instead of stories, there will be no “action” going on between characters. Let’s just say sex isn’t a forbidden topic, but it will be like discussing it in English class.

As for other topics that could make the zine NSFW, like gore or extreme language, I don’t think they will be an issue. Some dark topics, like abuse by Heaven and Hell, may be discussed, but they will be warned for, and these are not stories, so you aren’t going to see violent actions playing out.

Will there be any “extras” like charms or stickers?

I’m not sure yet. I’m most inclined to keep it simple, because of the nature of the zine, but would be open to including some bonus items if there’s an artist who’s really passionate about it.

With that said, I am pretty committed to making a hardcover edition of the book available, in addition to the standard softcover version.

You’re doing this with only one mod?!

Yes. I personally find it easiest. While I’ve worked on multi-mod projects in other domains and adore all of my co-mods, it’s a little bit different when it’s a project with this many moving pieces that includes real-life components like printing and shipping. Though there are a lot of individual things to be done, I am experienced with all of them, so it’s less overwhelming to just take on the whole project. That way, I know exactly what needs to be done and when, and there are no issues with assigning tasks.

What qualifies you to run this zine?

The résumé answer: in fandom, I successfully solo-modded a large not-for-profit zine in the past, the @soulmakazine2018, and while I can’t speak for the whole fandom, it definitely seemed to be well-received. <3 In real life, I’m a case manager and this involves coordinating and communicating with a lot of different people including my 100-person caseload, budgeting services, and filling out all kinds of paperwork on the fly, all skills that can be imported into zine work.

The practical answer: well, I’m the one who decided to start this project, so if you like the sound of it, you're stuck with me. I say with encouragement and enthusiasm that if you’d like to do a different take on a commentary zine, you should absolutely do it.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #ineffable partners #fanzine #good omens zine

[aro-comics]

Fashion Analysis (Part 2: Outside of Amatonormativity Alone)

[Note: This post is a part of a series analyzing self-expression, fashion, aromanticism, and how they interact with other parts of identity. For full context please read the whole thing!]

Outside of Amatonormativity Alone: Sexism, Homophobia (and/or Transphobia), Racism, Ableism, and Other Factors That can Impact Self Expression 

My comic was originally meant to be a light hearted joke. I’d always been told I’d want to dress up one day, be pretty and feminine once I fell in love with a boy (BLEGH). I was so certain that I would never do that, and now … here we are. I put lots of effort into my appearance, present feminine, all in the hopes I’ll impress a very special someone - a potential employer at a networking event. I think there’s a certain irony to all of this, and I do find it funny that I managed to both be wrong and completely subvert amatonormative stereotypes! 

But having the chance to think about the whole situation, I realize now that my changes in presentation reflect far more. The pressure I felt to dress differently are still influenced by fundamental forms of discrimination in society, and I would be remiss to not address these inherent factors that were tied with my experiences alongside my aromanticism. So in this section, I will briefly cover some of these factors and summarize how they can influence people’s self expression as a whole, before discussing my own experiences and how these factors all intersect. 

Sexism

The pressure on women In This Society to uphold arbitrary norms is ever present and often harmful, and while I wish I had the time to discuss the impacts of every influence the patriarchy has on personal expression, to even try to cover a fraction of it would be impractical at best for this essay. Instead, since the original comic focuses on professionalism and presentation, this is what I will talk about here. 

Beauty standards are a specific manifestation of sexism that have a deep impact on how people perceive women. It’s a complicated subject that’s also tied with factors like capitalism, white supremacy, classism, and more, but to summarize the main sentiment: Women are expected to be beautiful. Or at least, conform to the expectations of “feminine” “beauty” as ascribed by the culture at large. 

They also tend to be considered exclusively as this idea that "women need to be beautiful to secure their romantic prospects, which subsequently determines their worth as human beings. The problematic implications of this sentiment have been called out time and time again (and rightfully so), however there is an often overlooked second problematic element to beauty standards, as stated in the quote below: 

“Beauty standards are the individual qualifications women are expected to meet in order to embody the “feminine beauty ideal” and thus, succeed personally and professionally” 

- Jessica DeFino. (Source 1) 

… To succeed personally, and professionally. 

The “Ugly Duckling Transformation” by Mina Le (Source 2) is a great video essay that covers the topic of conforming to beauty standards through the common “glow up” trope present in many (female focused) films from the early 2000s. 

“In most of these movies, the [main character] is a nice person, but is bullied or ignored because of her looks.”

Mina Le, (timestamp 4:02-4:06)

Generally, by whatever plot device necessary, the ugly duckling will adopt a new “improved” presentation that includes makeup, a new haircut, and a new wardrobe. While it is not inherently problematic for a woman to be shown changing to embrace more feminine traits, there are a few problems with how the outcomes of these transformations are always depicted and what they imply. For starters, this transformation is shown to be the key that grants the protagonist her wishes and gives her confidence and better treatment by her peers. What this is essentially saying is that women are also expected to follow beauty standards to be treated well in general, not only in a romantic context, and deviation from these norms leads to the consequences of being ostracized. 

The other problematic element of how these transformations are portrayed are the fact that generally the ONLY kind of change that is depicted in popular media is one in the more feminine direction. Shanspeare, another video essayist on YouTube, investigates this phenomenon in more detail in “the tomboy figure, gender expression, and the media that portrays them” (Source 4). In this video, Shaniya explains that “tomboy” characters are only ever portrayed as children - which doesn’t make any sense at face value, considering that there ARE plenty of masculine adult women in real life. But through the course of the video (and I would highly recommend giving it a watch! It is very good), it becomes evident that the “maturity” aspect of coming of age movies inherently tie the idea of growth with “learning” to become more feminine. Because of the prevalence of these storylines (as few mainstream plots will celebrate a woman becoming more masculine and embracing gender nonconformity) it becomes clear that femininity is fundamentally associated with maturity. It also implies that masculinity in women is not only not preferred, it is unacceptable to be considered mature. Both of these sentiments are ones that should be questioned, too. 

Overall, I think it is clear that these physical presentation expectations, even if not as restrictive as historical dress codes for women have been, are still inherently sexist (not to mention harmful by also influencing people to have poor self image and subsequent mental health disorders). Nobody should have to dress in conformity with gender norms to be considered “acceptable”, not only desirable, which leads us to the second part of this section. 

Homophobia (and/or Transphobia)

So what happens when women don’t adhere to social expectations of femininity? (Or in general, someone chooses to present in a way that challenges the gender binary and their AGAB, but for the sake of simplicity I will discuss it from my particular lens as a cis woman who is pansexual). 

There are a lot of nuances, of course, to whether it’s right that straying from femininity as a woman (or someone assumed to be a woman) will automatically get read a certain way by society. But like it or not, right or not, if you look butch many people WILL see you as either gay, (or trans-masculine, which either way is not a cishet woman). This is tied to the fact that masculinity is something historically associated with being WLW (something we will discuss later). 

This association of breaking gender norms in methods of dress with being perceived as a member of the LGBTQ+ community has an influence on how people may choose to express themselves, because LGBTQ+ discrimination is very real, and it can be very dangerous in many parts of the world. 

I think it’s very easy to write off claims in particular that women are pressured into dressing femininely when it is safer to do so in your area; but I really want to remind everyone that not everyone has the luxury of presenting in a gender non-conforming way. This pressure to conform does exist in many parts of the world, and can be lethal when challenged.

And even if you’re not in an extremely anti-LGBTQ+ environment/places that are considered “progressive” (like Canada), there are still numerous microagressions/non-lethal forms of discrimination that are just as widespread. According to Statistics Canada in 2019: 

Close to half (47%) of students at Canadian postsecondary institutions witnessed or experienced discrimination on the basis of gender, gender identity or sexual orientation (including actual or perceived gender, gender identity or sexual orientation).

(Source 3)

Fundamentally this additional pressure that exists when one chooses to deviate from gender norms is one that can not be ignored in the conversation when it comes to how people may choose to express themselves visually, and I believe the impacts that this factor has and how it interacts with the other factors discussed should be considered. 

Neurodivergence (In general): 

In general, beauty standards/expectations for how a “mature” adult should dress can often include clothing that creates sensory issues for many autistic people. A thread on the National Austistic Forum (Source 6) contains a discussion where different austistic people describe their struggles with formal dress codes and the discomfort of being forced to wear stiff/restrictive clothing, especially when these dress codes have no practical purpose for the work they perform. If you’re interested in learning more on this subject, the Autisticats also has a thread on how school dress codes specifically can be harmful to Autistic people (Source 7). 

In addition to potentially dressing differently (which as we have already covered can be a point of contention in one’s perception and reception by society as a whole), neurodivergence is another layer of identity that tends to be infantilized. Eden from the Autsticats has detailed their experiences with this in source 5. 

Both of these factors can provide a degree of influence on how people choose to express themselves and/or how they may be perceived by society, and are important facets of a diverse and thoughtful exploration of the ways self-expression can be impacted by identity. 

Also, while on this topic, I just want to take a chance to highlight the fact that we should question what is considered “appropriate”, especially “professionally appropriate”, because the “traditional” definitions of these have historically been used to discriminate against minorities. Much of what gets defined as “unprofessional” or otherwise “inappropriate” has racist implications - as an example, there is a history of black hairstyles being subjected to discriminatory regulation. Other sources I have provided at the end of this document (8 and 9) list examples of these instances.  

Racism (being Chinese, specifically in this case): 

For this section, I won’t be going into much depth at all, because I actually have a more detailed comic on this subject lined up. 

So basically, if you were not aware, East Asian (EA) people tend to be infantilized and viewed as more childish (Source 10). In particular, unless an EA woman is super outgoing and promiscuous (the “Asian Bad Girl” stereotype, see Source 10), IN MY OPINION AND EXPERIENCE it’s easy to be type casted as the other end of the spectrum: the quiet, boring nerd. On top of this too, I’ve had experiences with talking to other EA/SEA people - where they themselves would repeatedly tell me that “Asians are just less mature”,  something about it being a “cultural thing” (Yeah … I don’t know either. Maybe it’s internalized racism?). 

Either way, being so easily perceived as immature (considering everything discussed so far) is also tied to conformity to beauty standards and other factors such as sexism and homophobia, which I believe makes for a complex intersection of identity. 

[Note from Author: For Part 3, click here!]

#NotAComic #Fashion #FashionAnalysis

[grimmradiance]

Close to Me: How the Hollow Knight's Fighting Style Reflects Their Trauma (and the Radiance's as well)

So I've been trying to actually beat the Radiance, which means I've been fighting the Hollow Knight. A lot, as a matter of fact, since I'm beans at this game sometimes. I've also been thinking about @lost-kinn's meta about how fighting styles are how Vessels, especially the Little Knight, communicate.

In trying to apply this to the Hollow Knight, I've been coming to some very interesting conclusions, especially taken in context of...Everything Else in the lore, and Everything Else implicated in this by the psychology of it.

There's a lot to cover here, and it tracks through a LOT of different places, including trauma psychology, the relationship between chronic stress and lifespan health, and shape symbolism. Two warnings first:

One: this essay is gonna get heavy. It includes fine-grained discussion of the Hollow Knight's trauma, including discussions of the real-life machanics of psychological abuse, as well as the Extremely Concerning Implications of them harming themself during their boss fight. please read with caution and when you're in a safe emotional place to do so.

Two: This post is not a place for justifying the Pale King. If you read this essay in its entirety and still want to do that, please make your own post; my relationship to the Hollow Knight themself is deeply rooted in my own experiences, so in the context of this discussion I can't promise I won't take it personally.

With that out of the way, let's talk trauma and fighting styles:

We know that the Hollow Knight is trained to be a paragon of fighting skill, through the Pure Vessel fight, and this gives us a fantastic way to compare what they were like before they were made Government Assigned Radiance Jail, and after. Or, in other words, we're given the perfect opportunity to see what the Radiance is doing (i.e. context effects), and what Hollow is (i.e. what we can conclude is reliably consistent as a part of them). Listed here, for reference:

Hollow's attacks:

Three slashes

A dash slash

A Radiant Shade Soul, which launches a volley of Infection blobs in arcs

A Radiant Desolate Dive, which produces pillars of entwined Void and Light at random intervals

The Infection bursting out of them in random arcs, covering a significant amount of the aerial space of the arena

The Radiance ragdolling their body around trying to hit the Knight

Contact damage from them stabbing themself and falling over atop you

The Pure Vessel's attacks:

Three slashes

A dash slash

A Pure Shade Soul, which launches a volley of nails in straight lines

A Pure Desolate Dive, which produces nails at specific intervals

A Pure Focus, which causes circular explosions across most of the aerial space in the arena

Lashing out with a Void Arm (word choice intentional)

I've highlighted attacks from each battle that are different, since those are our points of interest here. In addition, both the Pure Vessel and Hollow are exceedingly fond of teleport-spamming in a way that is usually reserved for a specific group of bosses.

Another very important distinction between these two fights: the Pure Vessel doesn't scream. Well, they certainly try to, but no sound comes out. No voice to cry suffering, after all. All of these points have a lot to go into, so let's address them one at a time.

All That Remains: Theoretical Background On The Significance Of Constants

Making comparisons across time is important specifically because humans (and human-like bugs) change. Most personality traits aren't set in stone--they exist as an interaction of someone's internal tendencies, their experiences, and their environment. Speaking of those last two points, not all experiences and environments are created equally. Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs for short) are known to have lifelong implications for a child's health, both physically and mentally. These are events that are so stressful or stressful for so long that they exceed a child's ability to cope and become toxic stress (yes, that's the term in the literature, because it actively damages your organs). They compound, as well--the stress of one ACE makes it harder for a child to cope with another, especially if they overlap.

Some examples of ACEs? Being exposed to physical danger or the threat of physical danger, deprivation of normal social relationships with peers of a similar age, being forcibly seperated from family members, witnessing a loved one being hurt or killed, chronic illness in oneself or a family member, neglect of a child's emotional needs....

Poor fucking Holly. It's a miracle they didn't disintegrate under the pressure. The only other option is that they bent and adapted under that much stress--in other words, most of their personality has been forcibly reshaped by what they've gone through. Anyone who has up-close experience with parentification or complex child abuse already knows: this was by design. I'm not saying the intent was to traumatize the Pure Vessel past several points of no return, but the intent definitely was to reshape their personality for the purpose of being The Vessel. We only see them (the Pure Vessel) in battle after this process is mostly or entirely complete, but we do see them a few times beforehand. I'd like to draw attention to the Path of Pain cutscene right now.

I've seen people talking about the look the Vessel and the King share as a sign that TPK really does love his child. That might be true, but it's definitely not relevant when it comes to how abuse works. This is, in fact, exactly how the cycle of abuse uses affection as a tool. Long periods of abuse or neglect, smoothed over by small periods of affection that placate the survivor? That's textbook love bombing, the kind that forms stubborn trauma bonds and facilitates unhealthy dependency. Forgive me for not giving the Higher Being of knowledge and prescience the benefit of the doubt on that one. (/s)

Team Cherry knows about the importance of parallels and dissonance. There's a reason the music in the second phase of the Hollow Knight fight plays in the Path of Pain. There's a reason it cuts out the moment the battle with the Kingsmoulds is over, instead of at the room transition. There's a reason it doesn't cut out in the Black Egg. Actually, there's two potential reasons, which could also coexist: either little Hollow trusts the Pale King to keep them safe, even after the borderline torture that they were just subjected to, or big Hollow is so hypervigilant that they're in full functioning-through-trauma mode even while they're at death's door.

If you don't see how much the Pale King scarred his child at this point, I'm not sure we were playing the same game.

Walking the Straight Line: How the Pale King's Teachings Show In the Pure Vessel

The Pale King loves order and control. Everything about the White Palace and every decision we see him make implies this. Everything is spotless white walls and well-maintained gardens; the only signs of disorder are hidden away, either in his workshop or in The Pit™. This also reflects in the Pure Vessel's title--pure as in holy, but also pure as in without flaw. Considering the Nailsmith's emotional state after completing the Pure Nail, TPK's fate with his Perfect Controlled Kingdom, and the Godmaster ending as a whole, attaining perfection is not a good thing in any sense.

We know the Hollow Knight isn't perfect--that's the whole catalyst for the plot. But considering their upbringing and their fighting style as the Pure Vessel, their imperfections absolutely kill them emotionally. I'll spare the lecture on how perfectionism affects neurodivergent kids even more severely than neurotypical kids, if only to keep this post to a reasonable length (look up "twice-exceptional children" if you'd like to know the theory I'm glossing over in more depth). But, in essence, the deck is doubly stacked against them--they have a higher goal to reach, and far more obsctacles in their path, including their own emotional scars.

I've already discussed how Hollow isn't meant for this kind of stress in a physical sense in other posts. They're not prepared for it emotionally, either--the Pale King wants perfection, and they can't even stand up straight (every spoonie in the audience already knows how exhausting people's obsession with Standing Up Straight is). There's another page on their stack of emotional baggage, even BEFORE you consider that the Pure Vessel knows their perfection is what bought them a ticket out of the Abyss.

Bringing Teleportation To A Sword Fight: Where The Pure Vessel Reveals Their Fears

How else are they going to cope with that need for perfection, that need to prove themselves worthy of the reason their life was spared, by being flawless in any way they can? Being a mechanical, flawless fighter puts so much pressure on them, both literally (repetitive strain injuries fucking HURT) and figuratively--if you're predictable, the only sure way to win is to mop the floor with your opponents before they figure you out. Hell, that's the way most people play their first run of Hollow Knight, by throwing themselves at the bosses over and over until they figure out the patterns. That strategy is inherently going to fail against an opponent that's, say, an immortal higher being.

There's no way that the Vessel didn't figure this out, and yet none of their TPV specific attacks are positioned randomly--the nails are always evenly spaced, and the Focus explosions are always in a specific height region of the screen. That's clinging to survival strategies even when they become maladaptive in its purest form.

Another dip into psychological theory: let's talk about disorganized attachment. Attachment styles describe how someone's relationships to their main caregiver(s) influence their understanding on relationships in general. Disorganized attachment is a result of an upbringing of inherently unstable parent-child relationships, where there's no way of a child predicting whether an adult is going to be delighted to see them, ambivalent, upset, or otherwise. If my parent woke up some days saying "all right my child, time for the Infinite Buzzsaws Obstacle Course," I'd be the same way. In adulthood this manifests as an inability to form a stable sense of self-concept as well as concepts of others. Mission accomplished, TPK, there's no will to break if you broke it yourself.

This is where the fighting styles as communication comes in--Hollow needs to keep Ghost at a distance to fight, but also wants to be closer to their sibling (the only being who has a chance of understanding what they've been through), BUT also has a trauma-rooted fear of attaching to people, as their experiences with attachment are inherently unpredictable and dangerous. Hence, both the teleportation that doesn't seem to match their fighting style any more reliably than "aim at the thing attacking you" and the second attack unique to the Pure Vessel--they're quite literally lashing out in pain to push people away. There's a reason that attack is so reminiscent of the Thorns of Agony.

Of note is that Holly does seem to teleport like the bugs of the Soul Sanctum do (favoring the edges of a screen, rather than going wherever like Dream Warriors do), which makes sense--they're the most obvious answer to the question "how did they learn how to teleport, anyways?" However, Sanctum bugs have abilities designed to capitalize on this, like homing spells and slashes from above. I can only assume this means that someone saw Holly's proficiency with the nail and assumed it translated to other forms of combat, and didn't feel the need to give them at least a bit of a primer on how to make the best use of it. There's another tally for the Hollow Knight as an autism metaphor.

Trauma Bonds: How the Radiance Speaks Through Hollow

Now, we're back to the Black Egg, and two people stuck in the same sinking ship. The thing that makes this hurt so badly is that Holly and the Radiance are at complete cross purposes here, and yet they both want the same thing:

They both want out, no matter the cost. For the Radiance, this means forsaking the pacifistic nature of the moths and nuking Ghost personally.

For Hollow, this means forsaking the way they were raised and everything that was bludgeoned into their personality: the only way out is to fail, give up control, and trust that Ghost will do what needs to be done.

Imagine how much pain they're in to actually go for it. Going against a literal lifetime of conditioning is something that takes the average person years to even consider, let alone go through with. It's a form of learned helplessness--if you try to break free and fall, again and again, it actively discourages further attempts. Breaking through learned helplessness is an interesting process, because it generally involves re-establishing a sense of control by recalling previous events where the person was able to change their situation.

Which, as far as we know of, are nothing but traumatic memories for Hollow. It's very unlikely that they'd break through it on their own, but we know they have by the time we see the second phase of their fight. This is them at their most desperate: the same music as the Path of Pain, the way they let, or can't stop, the Radiance throw their body around, the way they actively try to let the Radiance out by stabbing themself.

You'd think that giving up and learned helplessness are inherently compatible, but when giving up both goes against your core personality, and involves your active participation, they're in direct opposition. So either Holly was able to process all their trauma by themself (which I doubt, judging by how much effort the player has to go through to even see Ghost's and Hollow's traumatic memories), or someone gave them a nudge or three in that direction.

Considering that there's been someone living in Holly's head who has a vested interest in them Not Doing Their Duty, I think we know who. And the thing is, I think we watch Hollow have this breakthrough during their battle. Imagine for the first time in decades, at least, you can move. You're in pain from being in the same position, probably hallucinating from sensory deprivation, with an infection sucking at what strength your body has left. And there's this little creature who looks ready to fight you, who seems to have let you go for that exact purpose.

And you look down, and both you and the Radiance recognize them from a place rooted deeper than consciousness, in the murky depths of trauma. You see the other Vessel who just as easily could have been you, and who looks so much stronger for not being you, for being an imperfect, willful creature. And the Radiance sees history threatening to repeat itself, another one of the Wyrm's cursed children seeking to lock her away once more.

What else do you do when you're triggered? You scream, and you go on instinct, and you retreat into your head. Those first blows, with the epic music? That's the Vessel the Pale King forged, the fighting machine that will endure unimaginable stress because it knows no other way. What snaps you back out of dissociation? Usually, either the passage of the triggering stimulus, or an even more relevant stimulus (severe pain from getting beaten up by a nail, for example).

The tragedy is this: we know this isn't a triumph. I think most of us went into that fight the first time, knowing we'd be putting the Hollow Knight out of their misery. The music turns tragic, Hollow screams, and then we see the Radiance and Hollow themself break through: the Radiance trying to fight Ghost directly with the resources she has, and Hollow trying to help her along.

For what it's worth, Hollow even had the right idea, when it came to letting themself rest while helping Ghost stop the madness their father started--they were just digging for the Radiance in the wrong place. The dynamic between the Radiance and the Hollow Knight is something I could write on for pages and pages, but this has gone on for long enough. Tune in next time, where I'll presumably talk about this same topic but in reverse with regards to the Radiance.

#hollow knight #hk #the pure vessel #the pale king #the radiance #my meta #the higher being speaks #i hate fact-checking my abuse infodumps because the ableism against personality disorders is EVERYWHERE #but here this monster of an essay is #anyways the hollow knight as a character sniped my trauma on sight #so i may be a tiny bit biased here But Also I'm Right #abuse // #child abuse // #emotional abuse // #i legit do not know what tags to throw on this #also the overarching title is a reference to the song of the same name from just shapes and beats because. yeah

[darkobssessions]

Coping Tips for Autistic Women

I am compiling a list of resources for aspie women along with tips to manage symptoms and navigate the world. Regretably, most of my personal experience comes from living undiagnosed and unaware about this for the last 27 years. There was a giant elephant in the room with everything, and I have only recently worked it out. This means that most of my habits prior to this point were ones attempting to cope with a giant unknown, the limits of which were unclear. But they more or less worked, because, as I am realising, there’s always been something they are attempting to address.

With other diagnoses and ways I attempted to explain and understand my difficulties, there were finite causes and treatments. I should have been improving if I tried x, y, or z. And I did improve my symptoms in many ways, but there was something missing from the picture. That is that autism is my personality, my state of being, how I process and view the world. And no tool, medication, process or treatment was ever going to change who I really was. Being misdiagnosed (or being missed and failing to receive the autism diagnosis) means that I have been trying to correct something that you cant ‘correct’, and shaming myself for something fundamentally me.

Some of the tips I learned over time, from how I am as a person, without the framework of reference of neurodivergence or autism:

Sensory:

My sensitivity has always been a big waving flag. I felt and saw things others didn’t. I felt more deeply. I sensed the microeffects and changes in everything. I responded harder and faster to any chemical, environmental shift, any positive or negative event, As we all do on the spectrum, we attempt to navigate our sensory environment. And we come up with coping mechanisms, good or bad, before or after we realise we are on the spectrum. For me this was a strong aversion to the things that upset me, that disturbed my senses. It was an orienting of myself in a way to avoid the disturbances, going inwards, withdrawing and even shutting down. I learned that I could not and did not want to handle crowds, loud places, supermarkets. I lived in a giant simulation attempting to minimise and avoid as much as possible the things that hurt. I learned that I was extremely sensitive, no one else seemed to be, and I just had to manage it. Since discovering autism in the last weeks, I am able to embrace the fact that sensory overload is a thing, and I really do feel pain in my body when things are too much and too loud, and just wearing earplugs has mitigated so much of this. I was gas lighting myself before about feeling a certain way because there was no explanation, that I was aware of anyway.

Physical:

I have had so many problems over the years, since I was a young girl. I used to get food poisoning symptoms really easily. I had hidden allergies. I remember a lot of my childhood spent doubled up with stomach pains, or having a fever. My family didn’t know any better and fed me and treated me as they did every other member. I was not the same, I did not feel the same, but I took it all in. By the time I was in my early teen years, I had cemented my aversion to certain foods, taken the only control I had at the time against an encroaching and controlling mother and turned it into anorexia. I avoided things I didn’t like, again, and set up a system of control that made more sense than the gaping wounds and confusion within me. Starvation triggered bulimia. And a viscous cycle of malnourishment and dysregulation unfolded. I didn’t learn until many, many years later that my system was so sensitive and damaged that if I tried to go back to how I used to eat as a child, I would get terrible symptoms. So my coping tips as I have healed from the eating disorders and become more aware is to figure out what the triggers are, what hurts, and to avoid it. This along with adding in nutrient dense foods and working on the deficiencies has done wonders for me. I’ve done tremendous work on my autoimmune conditions, gut problems, sensitivities and inflammation levels and the difference is like night and day. That I can induce psychotic symptoms by deviating or introducing foods I am intolerant to is no joke. The tip I can share is elimination diets truly do work, the keto diet is recommended, and eating the carnivorous way saved my life. My eating disorders for almost 15 years INCLUDING the 7.5 years I was a vegan, mostly high raw and fruitarian depleted my nutrients so badly that every symptom was enhanced 100% and I was eating pretty much ONLY food I was actually intolerant to. Ahem, plants, I’m talking to you. The peace I feel, the nourishment and rest on a nervous system level having eliminated them is unreal.

Social:

I have always known I was different, in a deep, visceral way. How the adults in my life answered questions was inadequate. I saw through people and things. I was far too intense and serious. I learned to watch and observe humans and pick up cues so as to attempt to fit in. I spent the majority of my life masking, something I am only now finding out about and unraveling. I kept notes on the human experience, and saved colours, sounds, feelings, because I felt like I couldn’t communicate the truth of myself otherwise. Over the course of my life there have been inexplicable (until now) events. Lost friendships and relationships, strings of broken promises, people not acting on what they say, confusions and miscommunications, and many dangerous situations and predatory bonds. I made what sense I could of it from whatever lens I could find. It was the trauma, it was my soul contract, it was what I deserved, it was being targeted- all close, but not quite within the realm of being so naive, open and fundamentally different as you are on the spectrum. I just always assumed everybody was like me. I had to learn the very extremely hard way that not everyone felt and thought in the same way, nor had good intentions. I still struggle with the fact that humans don’t tell the truth. It is of no relevance whether they secretly know it. Most people are more comfortable with illusions. I always knew this, but the diagnosis gives me a lot more peace around it. It’s allowing me to accept the fact that if I look around the majority of the people I see are not walking around processing and over-analysing everything, feeling sounds, decoding patterns and obsessed with hacking the code of reality. Less pressure that way, and more in the way of what can be viewed as natural interaction on my part. I will solve the mystery of the universe out loud otherwise, and get the blank looks and the discomfort. I have found my people, a tribe of likeminded individuals, I have gathered friends over the years that didn’t run from my weirdness. But I am mostly content to be on my own, knowing that I can only use what is around me to try to convey how I feel and who I really am. And that will probably be a book, a movie or a work of art, much better than a 2pm rendezvous when I can’t stop talking about the hidden signs.

Emotional:

With the intensity of my emotions I have developed borderline personality disorder as a means to cope with being autistic and not knowing. I have been diagnosed with both that and bipolar because I have intense stints of emotions. They come and go in waves, lasting hours, lasting days and weeks. I consider it to be an energy management system to cope with the demands and stressors of modern day living. Creatives always withdraw and hibernate, and come out with new insights and art to share. The way that I feel and view the world is special. It’s at the basis of my writing, what I choose to engage with and how. My emotions make me who I am. I feel intensely, I share passionately about how I feel. I snap, I break, I shutdown, I come out again and I am a bright, shooting star. There is an excited little animal that lives within me and it is the strongest most passionate thing known to man. I thought that my negative experiences or trauma killed it, but this is before I knew it IS me and cannot die. So I have stopped trying to cram these emotions in or explain them. Stopped trying to attribute them to whatever script people were following when they dealt with me. Throwing me into the depressive, anxious, panic stricken, eating disordered basket case category. The missing piece now makes so much sense. The ways I responded to being autistic were coping mechanisms, such as developing a personality disorder, to deal with the pressure. My psyche splintered under the weight. My tip here is in embracing your inner life and world, embracing that you are different, so that all of the mental and emotional acrobatics needed to attempt to explain the issues or fit in can be put to rest.

Spiritual:

Being different and feeling differently means I naturally saw and expressed things in quite a strange way. I was convinced of a secret world to reality, behind reality, living on behind a paper shell, so to speak, that would rip if only I could reach out and tear it aside. That conviction was rewarded as year after year my awareness grew, my gifts multiplied, and the experiences I had revealed to me the hidden hand of god. There was very much design to the universe, a pattern, weaving through all things. And i was a part of it, not some discarded afterthought or simple byproduct that had no place. In the early years, I kept my convictions to myself, nursed them with experience. I died a thousand deaths in dark nights of the soul, crashing against the turf of my ignorance. I broke open, and everything I had been so sure of as a child was revealed to me again and again. I was convinced I had a purpose, I could feel the deep tides of human emotion and motion, could feel into the genetic sequence that had birthed me. I felt like an alien, but that slowly over time the map of my operation was being revealed to me. This is what it feels like so many years later to stand here and find out about being autistic and realise that how I felt in my soul all these years was real, and that I can begin to truly fulfill this mission now, to share my experience in words I know others will understand because they feel the same way too. It was the challenges that I never understood, while the gifts were the reason to stay alive. My message to myself and others now is that there is a point, a reason to persevere and understand yourself more. The suffering reveals so much of the true state of things, so that we can protect our tender hearts and build new things that honour who we really are, our souls. 

Resources, movies, literature to follow. I just wanted to share something of a summary now of my realisations since coming home to myself.

#autism #autismspectrum #ASD #aspie #aspien #aspienwoman #aspiewoman #thespectrum #ASDdiagnosis #copingtips #coping tips for autistic women #autistic women #masking #sensoryoverload #autism tips #autoimmune conditions #carnivore #gut problems #born different #sensitive system #highly sensitive person #introvert #am i autistic #alien #synethesia #genius #challenges #limitations #on the spectrum #resources for autism

[screechthemighty]

OKAY TIME TO RAG ON T*M C*SSIELLO YET AGAIN.

So. Here’s the thing. The deal. The scoop. My meta complaints can basically be summed up in three sentences. One: T*m kept trying to sell us a friendship that wasn’t there, which only adds to how abrupt it falling apart is. Two: I do not trust this writing team with this plot line, and the way they handled parts of it in the comic itself only cement that distrust. Three: Why the HECK are they putting lore on TWITTER and only twitter. I won’t expand on that one because...that kind of speaks for itself, not everyone has twitter and it’s dumb that they’re confining important plot/character info to just twitter. But for more explanation of the other two, check under the cut.

Part One: T*m Stop Tweeting I’m Begging You

So, in my last post, I referenced the fact that this argument feels really contrived due to a lack of in-canon friendship between Mirage and Wraith. I’ve talked about this before, but tl;dr for those who don’t read my discourse: outside of some banter and bickering, there is little to no interaction between Mirage and Wraith pre-season 6 comics that implies a real connection. The s1 trailer comes close, but with everything else, it’s mostly just “Mirage says dumb thing while Wraith rolls her eyes in the background”, which establishes Literally Nothing.

But we all know they’re friends, right? This isn’t just wistful thinking by us Miraiths? No, we do know...because T*m said so on twitter. Think about it. He’s gleefully sold every interaction they get (or might get) as being food for the Miraith fans who ask about interactions, he’s the one who said Elliott is in her top three people she can stand (she NEVER explicitly names Mirage, only Natalie), and he also said this:

(screenshot orginally posted by @apexmirxith​)

Read that description. Read it again. Think about what we’ve actually gotten in the lore, both before the twitter comic and in it.

Something does not add up here. Literally nothing he said has been reflected in the canon at any point. And I would love it to be! Nothing would make me happier! If I could think of moments that lined up with that, I’d never shut up about them because I’m a single brain cell Miraith shipper and everyone knows it! But it’s not there, T*m!!!!!

Basically, Word of Author and The Actual Text are in conflict in a BIG way. It’s like T*m KNOWS he can just fill in the plot blanks with his twitter canon, but that’s NOT GOOD WRITING, and it makes what should be really interesting character moments SUPER hollow because again, none of the building blocks are there. They’re just in T*m’s mind, and then he offhandedly mentions them while replying to fan art. I swear, this dude should not keep tweeting about the plot of the games, because if he’s not doing stuff like this, he’s actively making promises he can’t keep. It’s so frustrating.

Okay, now that we’re done with that rant...

Part Two: Y’all Don’t Know How To Handle Abelism, Is The Thing

I discussed a lot of this during headcasegate II: the quickening, but for those of you who don’t read my complaining-disguised-as-analysis, the big issues are as follows:

I don’t think the intricate character work needed to grow out of abelism is actually something you can do in Apex Legends as a means of storytelling due to time constraints, the fact that plots can and will be dropped at any time (they did this with Bangalore this season, for instance) and a large cast all vying for attention in the plot.

T*m has repeatedly proven he has blind spots wrt abelism, starting with him implying autism could be cured (he walked this one back and admitted he was wrong, but still), to using abelist language as a plot device more than once, to being dismissive of people pointing that out instead of trying to understand why people were criticizing it. I don’t see any signs he’s actively learned (except the autism thing), so I don’t expect this angle to improve.

Elliott exhibits several traits of neurodivergency, from social anxiety to several HEAVILY ADHD coded traits (chronic tardiness, rambles heavily, impulsive spending, misunderstanding instructions), and has a stutter on top of that, but so far this has been ENTIRELY played for laughs and to make him look like a dumbass, not taken seriously.

And those three points really do stand, and are the basis of a lot of my concern. But there’s another angle that became more of an issue for me as I was reading the latest comic, and it has to do with Wraith. 

The game has already been really, really weird with how they’ve treated mental illness related when it comes to Wraith. They leaned heavily into the “owo scawwy mental patient! owo” imagery with banner frames and arguably her Liberator skin (I do love that skin because shaved head = chef’s kiss, but it does draw on mental illness imagery with the straight jacket look of her outfit), and she has on-and-off talked about/reacted to the voices as if they’re more a harmful influence akin to true psychosis and not helpful alternate selves. All of that leads to her being very heavily psychosis-coded, which has been noted by a lot of people.

And yet.

When the abelism is finally addressed, her breaking point, the thing the comics treat as The Thing You Shouldn’t Be Making Fun Of Her For, is...her amnesia.

Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s also wrong to make fun of her for having amnesia. But why is that the trait they chose to focus on? When I hear Elliott call her “brainwreck” my first thought isn’t “wow, he’s making fun of her for not remembering her past”, it’s “wow, he’s making fun of her for hearing voices.” It’s not even logical for that to be the thing that he and Bangalore are pointing out by calling her names, because like...who does that?? I don’t think even awful abelists do that. If they wanted to target her amnesia, they’d use completely different language. Brainwreck I can kinda see tying into her amnesia, but how does “headcase” relate back to that?? Literally, how??

Basically, when given the chance to address the abelism thrown at Wraith, they focus on the one thing that’s not the issue, rather than the thing that everyone points out is what makes her a mentally ill icon. And you might say, “but Screech, but it’s not a mental illness, the voices are real!” And to that I say, then why in the hell did they lean so heavily into mental illness imagery and her reacting negatively to the voices as if they are true hallucinations?? It’s just plain inconsistent, and almost feels like they don’t really want to tackle psychosis (in which case they are COWARDS, other devs have proved you can do that in a video game), so instead they focus on her amnesia and call it a day.

Dude. That’s totally not it in any way. What are you doing. What is my life. What is this GAME.

...anyways I hope all of that makes sense.

#apex legends #apex critical #discourse for ts #discourse cw

[the-rodent-gentleman]

About Fethry

I may or may not have a galaxy take concerning how the Ducktales reboot could go about with Cousin Fethry in future episodes.

OK, we know that Fethry’s been on his own for a while - 4 years to be precise - but beyond his debut episode, we know little about him. Those asides we get from him, though, do paint potentially interesting possibilities for his character. First, the show never addressed how messed up it was that Scrooge just left him down in that undersea lab for so long. I bet you Della doesn’t know either or else she would have some words (and no doubt will if she ever finds out), especially since she could relate with Fethry on being alone for so long.

Second, bringing back Fethry wouldn’t be out of place for Season 3. Keep in mind how the triplets’ character development has been handled throughout the show. Season 1 focused on Dewey; 2 on Louie; and now 3 is centering around Huey - and the show has made a clear point that the adult he has most in common with is Fethry.

For one, it’s clear by this point that Huey is coded as autistic (Astro BOYD for instance) and Fethry could likely be as well, or at least neurodivergent. Plus, as we can see from certain episodes, especially the “Sword of Swinestatine”, Huey’s got an inner wildness deep down and while Fethry saying stuff like “you’re not going anywhere” in his debut is played off as a joke, I genuinely think he’s got a little darkness of his own hidden inside, too. Speaking of hidden, I’d like to point out this post Frank answered.

‘One dumb secret’ implies whatever Fethry’s got to share won’t be all that important...supposedly. We’ve all seen how deceptive this reboot can be when it comes to giving out details, let alone how easily things can snowball in canon.

In fact, this answer only refers to one action of Fethry, not his entire role - and considering we’ve seen how off-putting he can unintentionally be to his relatives, I bet you letting whatever this secret is slip would not result in pleasant reactions from those around him, let alone Donald or Scrooge - and we’ve already learned their general opinions regarding Fethry.

In which case, perhaps the negative reactions would serve as ‘the straw that broke the camel’s back’. He did say he intended to be a scientist for real at the end of his first appearance, so chances are he’s run into snags with people (employers no less) dismissing him for the same reasons his family has, a struggle neurodivergent adults could identify with.

And so he gets fed up and shows us a side of himself we’re not prepared to see: not raging or screaming, just eerily calm and perhaps a even a touch passive-aggressively sassy. Something small but significant enough to show us this ball of sunshine is not kidding around.

Now where the show could take an episode like this is anyone’s guess.

Regardless, here would be a perfect chance for us to get to know Fethry better as a character. Huey, who’s dealt with similar struggles, could accompany him so we can hear Fethry’s side of the story, see what he’s been up to and going through since we last saw him. Now Fethry is anything but conventional, and since going about things the conventional way didn’t work out, perhaps he’s been doing things his own way to compensate. Maybe he’s even been having his own adventures as a means of supporting himself because would that really be so farfetched? He is a McDuck after all. Not just that but since the tussles with FOWL are becoming more prominent as the season continues, an episode like this would insure we’d be in for some quality interactions between him and characters like Black Heron or Steelbeak. Especially Steelbeak. Now let me make something clear. I am a filthy Fethsteel shipper and would gladly barf rainbows from seeing these two meet, but let’s put that aside and focus on the high potential for not just character building on both characters’ counts but humor as well.

For starters, Steelbeak’s already tussled with Huey before and experienced what this kid is capable of. Imagine Steel’s reaction when he meets this unassuming-looking guy who, even just from appearance alone, has a lot in common with the same kid that whooped his ass, so this big doof will no doubt be expecting some hardened badass only to get an adorkable dweeb...who also happens to be a hardened badass. Keep in mind that in his first episode Fethry talked about pirates like he’d dealt with them before. What if he wasn’t kidding about that and had actually gone toe to toe against such people? What if Steelbeak demands a fight and Fethry keeps politely insisting no and this goes on and on until Steelie gets fed up and tries to go after Huey (he’s dealt with the kid before) only for Fethry to take him down the same way Huey did? This would be a serious wake up call for not just Huey but we the audience as well, not to mention a note of assurance for him. Just because people think he’s ‘weird’ is no reason for him to believe he can’t be happy and fulfilled as an adult - and that would be a wonderful lesson to give us, especially the neurodivergent. In terms of comedy, here we have Steelbeak, a criminal and bully-like figure, who has officially gotten his butt handed to him by two nerds. While his pride would no doubt be hurting, recall that what this guy lacks in technical intellect he makes up for in brawn - and I can see him seeing Fethry in an utterly different light. A respectful light. A rivalry-fueled light.  Yes, Agent-freaking-Steelbeak forging a one-sided rival’s feud with an ocean-obsessed cinnamon roll who is utterly oblivious to it all and just sees a tall guy who really needs to work on his anger issues and thinks could be a good friend if he put in the effort to be. Whether you ship this two or not doesn’t even matter. The hilarity alone would be legendary. No, Steelbeak does want not any of your relaxation music playlists. No, he does not want to ‘hang out’ to discuss the effects of pollution on coral reefs. No he could not care less about what you saw a bunch of glowing shrimp doing the other...wait, are they making shapes? Are they a boxing glove? That’s kinda cool, he guesses. In short, rivals to frenemies. Let this possibility sink in for a moment.

#Fethry #Steelbeak #Ducktales 2017 #theory #fethsteel #character building #character development #long post

[rpbetter]

Hey there, check out this pinned post first!

Thanks for visiting Roleplay Better, where I believe that you can fucking do better! That kind of language, however, is why it is important for you to read this post before proceeding.

This blog and its posts are meant for an adult RPing audience; be over legal, adult age in the USA, 18+. Do not interact by submitting, asking, reblogging, commenting, or liking unless you are over eighteen years of age. By interacting with RPB or me, Vespertine, you are assumed to be following this rule. If you are breaking this rule, you will be blocked.

I have that rule because this blog can/will/does address topics inappropriate for a younger audience. Those can include, but are not limited to:

not safe for work - violence, injury, sexual language, smut, substance use

“dark topics” and themes like violence, unhealthy relationships, mental illness, trauma, graphic injury, dubious consent, substance use, and so forth addressed realistically

foul, sexual, and otherwise “Adult” language

 unpopular opinions and approaches about writing, RP, fandoms

“negativity” since literally anything can be, and my whole point here isn’t about holding back; it is likely that, at some point, in some post or another, a shoe will fit you-you need to be mature enough to handle that without taking it as a personal attack on you

images and links that may contain things inappropriate for a younger audience

this blog is founded upon the idea that fiction has reflections in reality, but that fiction does not utterly equate to reality. You should write with realism, your characters should be people in their own right, and you should absolutely be addressing many popular topics responsibly, which is to say realistically. I do not support or otherwise condone purity culture, so while realism is a big deal here, fiction = reality arguments are a no

seriously, you have no idea how fucking salty I am! I try to be fair, reasonable, and mellow with everyone, but it can and does come out.

This blog tags for common, major triggers, but it is not for those easily triggered or particularly sensitive. By proceeding, you take responsibility for yourself...like a mature adult. I expect you to utilize blacklist, unfollow, and block. Tag format is simple, it is literally just the word in most cases, with “cw” and “tw” added to particularly common things. Example, a post containing a breakdown of forms of dubcon will be tagged #dubcon #dubious consent. If that was specifically of a sexual nature, since tumblr is unfriendly to using Not Safe For Work now, I will be using #notsafe for sexual topics. In the event that this needs to change, it will be posted about, the previous tag left intact, so that you may update your blacklist.

You are always welcome to send me an ask or private message requesting a particular trigger be tagged for you. I try to check blogs I see following, especially if I follow back, so that I can tag what you require. However, I’m a person, I’m an ND, ill, busy person though, I do make mistakes!

If you find yourself desirous of telling me to tag in a hateful way, don’t. You will not be responded to with an apology and kindness. Do not be rude, it’s uncalled for when informing someone of a problem or making a request.

I will run the blog largely on a queue, and will not be following many people back. This is not personal! I just like to try to provide content at many different times, have a life elsewhere, and I am so happy that you love your fandom, but it might not be something I’ve enough interest in to have on my dash.

Don’t tumblr message me. Use the inbox or submit.

Due to recent events, I am changing this rule. It’s hard for me to receive messages unexpectedly, and I hate to imply that I’ll be able to get to these quicker because it isn’t the truth. Quicker, better responses come from the inbox. However, there have been too many incidents lately in which people needed to speak privately and had to make that a request. If you’re having a problem and need to vent, request sensitive advice, etc.? It’s alright, go ahead and drop me a PM, y’all. I’ll get back to you as soon as I am able. Please, do not be angry with me if I respond to inbox things or my queue is running! You’re important to me, I just might not have the requisite social cognition and energy you deserve at that time.

Aggressive inbox messages will be responded to in kind. I don’t care if you are on anon or not, if you haven’t an ounce of polite communication skills, I won’t have them either. This is not a “we don’t publish anon hate” blog.

I highly encourage asks and submissions on any and all RP topics, and it’s perfectly alright to be salty as fuck in them, you can totally vent here, but don’t take out your frustration on me or be demanding of me. I am always happy to help with information, advice, or just a response to your venting-it’s important to know someone is listening. However, it may take me a few days to a week to get to you, be patient. 

If you are going to vent, leave out usernames. This isn’t a callout or burnbook blog. It’s fine to state characters and fandoms, but if this becomes a problem, it’ll have to change. I don’t want this becoming a salt blog for one or two fandoms I very likely can’t even stand. Practice the fine art of alluding to things, its good experience for your writing! Besides, RPC problems are RPC problems, I promise. It might feel like it’s just your fandom, but there is something relatable in all corners.

I will not overly police comments. Keep the slurs and shit out of it, though. If there is an issue going on pertaining to a serious instance of hate speech, or behavior I, personally, deem as too inappropriate and/or immature to be taking place on my post, I will step in. Otherwise, I expect everyone to be adults in the comments and reblogs too. If you want to argue with each other, that’s your business. If you want to argue with me, I’m not sorry in advance.

Addition to the above: this is not a blog in which it will be tolerated that commentators or those submitting with the URLS are targeted for callouts, shaming, or other instances of bullying. No, I cannot make those people stop bothering you by blocking them, but the least I can do is address that by shutting down their access to this blog and it’s posts by blocking on the URLs I have for them. And I will. Fuck that “we can’t be responsible for” shit. It’s my blog, it’s my content I’m putting out there, I’m not going to just ignore shit like what went down over on COAR, thanks. Not. Cool.

This is definitely not a place for:

people who think giving muses labels, including top/bottom “dynamics,” is a good substitute for character traits, personality, and development

those with no reading comprehension skills

folks dependent upon aesthetics and aesthetics-based purple prose as filler for actual writing

anti-original character/just wants to fuck a FC or canon character club, get the fuck out immediately

y’all who see writing as an obstacle to getting down to action, be that smut, drama, or fight scenes...it’s literally a writing hobby

politics, any manner of phobe or ism, violent/non-inclusive feminists, purity/rpc/fandom/content police of any manner, and exactly any manner of racism, sexism, or religious intolerance - I give not a shit if it’s popular to hate the straights, for example, I neither believe in nor tolerate reactionary classifying of any group as blanket-statement evil

people who are going to tack onto my posts shit like, “it’s okay, OP, you can say x character.” Trust me, if I were talking about one character, I fucking would name drop them, don’t bring me into your fandom drama, I doubt I know or want to know who that anime guy is who looks like 12 other anime guys to me.

About Vespertine

You can call me that, Vespertine. I’d rather you didn’t go with Vesper, but as it is unfortunately so likely to happen, I won’t feed you to the dogs over it either. RPB Mun is also acceptable.

I’m alright with either she/her or he/him, they/them is also fine. Apparently, that was big enough clue-in for the poor reading comp crowd, so while I feel it is not of importance, I’m nonbinary, yes.

Late 30′s, chronically ill but still working adult with neurodivergence. I’m both busy and Busy, and always sick. This limits my brain power and ability to be here. I have an active RP blog that I won’t be sharing to keep responsible distance. That is always going to be my priority, it is my primary hobby.

Please, don’t tumblr message me totally random things if we don’t have that kind of relationship! I’m too ill and busy, and it really fucks my nerves to have a bunch of messages/have to suddenly interact socially with people. Don’t do it. Use my inbox, use the submit, comment on posts. I cannot do random messages of “hey” and so forth.

I only do written RP, don’t expect me to understand much of anything from tabletop. I’ve RPed for the last 23 years consistently, on every platform from AOL chats to forums to messengers and here. I also don’t do RP in discord, so I’m sorry, but I can’t advise you much on anything with a word count, except to stop it for serious RP. Other than that, I promise you that I’ve seen the trends, the drama, the fandoms. I can give a lot of advice and perspective on a wide range of topics, situations, and characters! When I don’t have a clue at all, I’ll try to do enough research to give you an answer.

Do I come off as a horrible, strict asshole? I do! I’m not going to say that I am just a shy bean who is more scared of you than you are me. I’m not. I’m honestly feral, but have common decency, compassion, and sense. All of which are lacking in the general RPC. So, if you can inbox/common/otherwise interact with anyone else on this site, you can totally handle me!

Honesty and openness are policies.

And in the spirit of that, I repeat; you can fucking do better, tumblr RPC!

#pinned post #tumblr rpc #rph #rp help #rp advice #rpbetter

[nonbinarypastels]

The issues with the recovery vs. anti-recovery discourse in a nutshell.

First problem: Nobody knows what anyone else is talking about (but they keep arguing like they do).

no one actually defines recovery the same way.

when we talk about 'recovery' half of y'all use that word to mean "doing what you can to manage better in your day to day lives" and the other half use it to mean "being totally cured, completely and utterly mental illness/neurodivergence/disability free" so we constantly end up with 2 or more people arguing about recovery thinking the people they're arguing with are defining it the same way as they are but in reality everyone involved is talking about a different thing entirely.

whether you define recovery as managing better or being cured there's also an issue of interpretation there because different people have different ideas about what managing better and being cured mean as well.

does 'managing better' mean simply doing what you can with what you have? or are we defining it as nothing short of getting out every day and living some 9-5 job, white picket fence sort of life? i've seen people define it both ways and a thousand ways in between. when you consider recovery to be about being 'cured', how do you define that? how do you see it happening? are you acknowledging that there are people who cannot or do not want to be cured and saying this shit anyway or are you only thinking about say, only depression, but simply not naming that thing in your post which brings me to

when we talk about mental illness, neurodivergence, and disability, people are STILL hopelessly vague.

take a sentence like "if you're mentally ill recovery is possible" and ask yourself what mental illness are we talking about? what is your definition of recovery? because we've already established that 'recovery' could mean any number of things and 'mental illness' tells us nothing. are we talking about depression or anxiety? or are we talking about personality disorders? psychotic disorders? what? saying you can be cured from depression is not the same as saying you can be cured from a personality disorder - tips people share to help manage anxiety are not going to be applicable to all mental illnesses. y'all are constantly saying 'mental illness' in posts when you're actually only talking about depression or something and people with mental illnesses that are not depression are reading that and thinking "what the fuck" because what's true for depression is categorically false for plenty of other shit.

people are constantly ignoring physically disability and chronic illness in discussions about recovery.

'recovery' is not only a term used in discussions WRT mental illness but also with physical illness and disability so when a person who is chronically ill or physically disabled sees a vague "recovery is possible" post even if you did not intend for it to be about them they have no way of knowing that when you're being vague as fuck about what you're actually saying and who it is your post is about. and i shouldn't need to explain to y'all why telling a person who is physically disabled and has zero chance of that ever changing that they can be 'cured' is on a whoooole other level than telling someone with depression they can be cured.

Problem Two: Y'all can't tell the difference between personal anecdotal posts and posts that are specifically addressed to/for other people.

raise your hand if you've been victimized by regina george had some "we can't all be neurotypical karen" comment added to a post you made about your own experience with some kind of coping mechanism or something you did that helped you with whatever is going on with you?

a lot of people involved in these discussions see a post that says "i tried yoga and it helped with my depression" and they think it's the same thing as "you need to try yoga because it will cure your depression" but...they are totally different. personal anecdotes are not personal recommendations, a person talking about something THEY did to help with THEIR self =/= a person telling YOU what to do to help with YOURSELF.

y'all also constantly misconstrue posts that are brainstorming different potential coping mechanisms and positive things to do with posts that are specifically instructing you to do something and assuming that these posts are guaranteeing you 100% that all the things on them will work or your money back.

example: y'all see a post that's like "here's a list of some positive things you can do to help with your anxiety" and you think the OP is specifically saying that all of them will work for everyone...but that's not what those posts are about. they're not instructions, they're ideas. they're not meant to tell a person what to do or even promising them that any of that shit will work, they're for brainstorming and coming up with something that might be helpful.

Problem Three: Some of y'all think too narrowly.

a lot of people on this site have an issue with black and white thinking.

nuance who? y'all don't get that not only are all mental illnesses, neurodivergencies, and disabilities the same but that people who have the same thing are not going to experience that thing in the same way. example: two people with bpd can have a WILDLY different experience with it and can have wildly different methods of dealing with it. what works for the one can have the absolute opposite affect on the other.

y'all assume that you can see one post a person made or even a couple of posts and you think you know everything there is to know about them and their experiences.

but a person's blog is only just a SMALL window into their life (even when they run a blog specifically about their mental illness, neurodivergence or disability you STILL don't know even the half of what there is to know about them). you can't see a couple of negative posts and assume that that means the person making them is "doing nothing" to help themselves or that they're "anti recovery" because those posts are just a small fraction of who they are and what they're doing. this is also even more ridiculous of an assumption because plenty of people use their blogs specifically FOR venting their negative shit and who someone is IRL is never going to be a living, breathing personification of who they are in their vent tag.

as much as people talk about "the mental illness community" or whatever, the fact is we're not actually a community.

we're a bunch of people with one common thing posting in the same tags and occasionally we form little connections when we all follow some of the same blogs and we see the same familiar usernames but we're not a community in the sense that there's a community leader or a set of community rules or a list of things unifying us together or, for that matter, any actual interaction between us. the fact is that tumblr is a website with MILLIONS of users and the view you have of certain groups of people on tumblr (the mentally ill, neurodivergent, or disabled for example) will depend radically on who you follow and what tags you're viewing. if you hate being exposed to negativity and people who are negative about their lives, you can prevent that from happening by simply not following those people, by blocking them, and perhaps by finding other tags to post in. saying "tumblr is anti-recovery" is much like saying "the city of new york is anti-recovery" just because you stumbled across some people in a back alley complaining about their anxiety. you can leave the alley and go somewhere else that's more suited to you, you don't have to stay and tell the people there to shut up because they're not being positive enough for you.

And problem four: Some of y'all are just assholes.

i think the majority of the recovery/anti-recovery argument could be solved if we were all a little less vague in our posts and made an effort to word them as specifically as possible and if we were all just a little less narrow-minded in both our thinking and listening but there are still people on this site who are just jerks because they will always assume that they know better than anyone else and, worse, that they know other people's experiences and minds better than those people do and will absolutely lose their shit if anyone tries to tell them otherwise.

this goes back to more black and white/no nuance thinking and it's a problem on this site that goes well beyond recovery discourse. the solution for this is for all of us to try and think more critically, listen more carefully, and consider other people beyond just our initial reactions. most of being an asshole comes down to not caring about other people---not caring about how they feel, what they think, what they have been through---and the rest comes down to caring so much for ourselves and what we personally feel and think about any given thing that it makes us ignorant to everything else, so obsessed with our own opinions that we're happy to fall face-first into the pond and drown in them. we all have to be cautious that we don't fall into that and that we don't end up creating our own little bubbles where our voices are the only ones we hear and we can do that by talking (not vaguely) and even moreso by listening to others when they speak.

#recovery #anti recovery discourse #mental illness #neurodivergence #disability #ableism #long post / #bolding / #bolded text /

[eeee-lye]

Hello- I have autism myself, and I was wondering- Is there any way to get into a community on here for people with Autism? ^^: I only recently found out I had it, and... don't know where to start-

Hello! I will preface this by saying that I struggle with socialising and connecting with people in general (and my chronic pain makes it harder still). I’ll talk about the things that have gotten me the wonderful connections I do have here, though, and if folks want to add onto this post with what’s worked for them, please do so. I think how to find other people is a skill tough for anyone and tougher by far for autistics.

Firstly, the tag that’s for conversations about autism by autistics here on Tumblr is #actuallyautistic or #actually autistic. If you have a question, or you want to see what other autistics are talking about, please feel free to check out and post in that tag (first five tags on a post that doesn’t contain a non-Tumblr link, otherwise Tumblr won’t pick it up). Folks who are self-diagnosed are absolutely welcome to use the #actuallyautistic tag, and the vast majority of autistics aren’t here for policing it. It just came into being to separate autistics talking autism from allistic parents/relatives/teachers talking autism.

It’s quite common for autistics who want an answer to post a question to that tag–I’ve done it for “hey, is this an autism thing” questions a few times now. Also for complaints, discussions, recommendations and ableism frustration posts. Other folks post art, positivity, sensory hacks, stimming–anything they think other autistics will find useful or relevant. I’ve never seen anyone object to other autistics reblogging, discussing and interacting on their posts in that tag, as long as everybody keeps it respectful–and I find the autistic community, in the main, to be decent about that.

Secondly, please feel free to talk about your own experiences and feelings on your journey as an autistic, because most of us relate hard to these sorts of conversations. Talk about the positives, the frustrations, the random, the odd, anything. Honestly, I think I’ve found most of my followers and friends by having opinions and voicing them here! There’s risks in that, but the positive conversations and interactions far, far outweigh the negative ones, and it is wonderful to find people sharing my feelings or building on my discussions.

Validation in what we think and feel and know isn’t something we autistics tend to get from allistic society, be we diagnosed or undiagnosed, and I think for this reason autistic folks gladly work to provide it to other autistics.

Thirdly, please feel free to make your own corner of the autistic community. If you want to make a stim blog or an information blog or a positivity blog or a special interest sharing blog, do so. If you see a way in which the community isn’t filling your needs, or you just want to add to the communities that already exist because there’s no such thing as too many blogs, consider this your invitation to give us more spaces to play in. People do come and follow; I’ve people I consider friends–to the point where my life is so much better for having gotten to know them–from my stim blog.

I was thinking the other night–after I told everybody to support autistic creators–that there isn’t much in the way of creativity and media blogs that focus on autistic creators as a sub-community. There’s blogs like @neurodivergent-media​ which look at neurodiversity in fictional media, but not a lot in the way of connecting autistic creators (writers, artists, crafters, musicians, filmmakers, designers, etc) as a group to autistic audiences. I’m sure that’s not the only corner of the autistic community in want of someone stepping in and building it!

Lastly, I’ve listed a few different interaction-heavy and community blogs:

@sbroxman-autisticquestions asks questions about all manner of autistic experiences that autistic people are encouraged to reblog and answer. If you want to get to know other autistic folks, see what they’re saying about autism and autistic experiences, and join in on the conversations yourself, this is a good blog to follow.

If you have questions, you might want to check out @autism-asks​ or @autistickitten​, both of which answer a lot of different questions about autism.

If you’re wanting to know if a particular trait or experience is autistic or related to autism, try @isthisanautistictrait​ and @isthisanautismthing​.

If you want life hacks or information about sensory issues, try @autisticlifehack​ or @sensorypeople​.

For meaningful discussions about social skills tailored for ND people that also addresses the ableism behind how social skills are often taught and applied, I really like @realsocialskills​.

If you want blogs about stim toys, given that many of us stim, check out @stimreferenceblog​, @punkrockstimming​, @safechewablethings​, @yellows-stim-toy-hoarde​ and my own blog @stimtoybox​. If you want more general stimming blogs, try @stims-inc​ and @slimeandspice​.

(If you want a list of autistic stim toy vendors, here’s my master post to get you started.)

@pro-autistic​ and @sweet-autism-things​ are more general autism positivity and support blogs.

@butterflyinthewell​ and @neurowonderful​ are autistic personages of note that talk a lot about autism, autistic media, autistic experiences and autistic advocacy, but also tend more towards the conversational.

Honestly, my best recommendation for finding a place in the community, at least as it exists here on Tumblr, is something simple in theory and far more difficult in practice: be yourself. Talk about who you are as an autistic, what you feel, what you need. Talk about the ways your feelings match those of the community and those that don’t. Talk, and tag it, and respond to posts you find relevant or interesting, and people will find you interesting (because you are). Every autistic has something important to offer and important to say. Every autistic is vital to the community. The good thing about Tumblr is that, unlike a face-to-face conversion, you can take time to think and word; you can pass over posts you don’t want to interact with and focus on the ones you do. It might take time for you to find your place, but it will happen.

Please know that you are an important part of the autistic community and your experiences and thoughts are important and needed. You do not have to be posting every day with thousands of followers to be part of the community. You just have to be autistic.

Under the cut I’ve written a few paragraphs on safety, given that this is Tumblr:

Please note that discourse conversations have changed the timbre of Tumblr interactions, often not for the better. There’s this pressure to never, ever be wrong (voiced aggressively at that) which does nothing to support the exchange of ideas or encourage growth and learning. (Not to mention that some of the never, ever be wrong opinions held in various communities are, in my opinion, either not that correct or try to water down a complex situation.) I find that most autistic spaces are still more accepting of the idea that we can have different opinions or make mistakes, apologise and learn without it being a reflection on a person’s value, and I hope that continues to be the same. We need spaces where we can make mistakes and grow as people without being forever condemned for it. We need spaces where we can respect other differing viewpoints as just different, not necessarily wrong and harmful because they are different.

(Some “wrong” viewpoints cause harm to others. Some of them are just different and we can allow both of them to coexist.)

I wish I didn’t have to write this paragraph, but the truth is that when I am telling someone to talk, I feel obliged to mention that Tumblr is becoming a place where, unless you fit certain proscribed beliefs, talking can be dangerous. Do look after yourself. Don’t allow anon asks if you think it might be risky (I have anon asks allowed on other blogs, but not on this one). Restrict or turn off messages if that makes you more comfortable. Don’t feel you have to respond to hate or viciousness (I have a “block without response” policy because I have better things to do). Don’t feel you have to respond or debate to folks who disagree. You are not obligated to discourse or debate. You are not obligated to justify your thoughts and feelings to those who disagree. You are allowed to pick and choose your responses, to block those who make you upset or uncertain, to unfollow, to curate your interactions with folk to make a Tumblr experience that works for you, to request that people don’t speak rudely or aggressively to you, to ignore things you don’t want to or can’t interact with, to not reveal certain aspects of your identity or experience, to request certain blogs don’t follow you, to not follow popular blogs if they make you uncomfortable or unsafe. Do look after yourself.

In the main, talking has been a positive thing for me–the good interactions far, far outweigh the negative ones, and the validation of having people listen to and agree with me, after a lifetime void of this, is amazing. Knowing what I can do in response to interactions that go off course makes it easier for me to start conversations and voice my feelings; I am prepared for what might come.

#fierabreeze #ask #reply #autism things #autism #autistic community #community #social interaction #long post #very long post #really long post

[kitvinslakte]

U don't have age listed in bio, so idk if you're 26 yr old adult or a 14 year old minor in regards to year of the pig.

But anyways idk if it's misleading, but the pro-ship stuff isn't about shipping in general, it's about people, not always but usually, pairing children and adults which is understandably sketchy for adults or kids to be consuming/creating even if it's non-explicit/nsfw.

The names are misleading, but its largely people who were groomed/manipulated by adults making/sharing that kind of content who are "antis", trying to prevent what happened to them from happening to other people. It's not an attack against you even though a lot of the language used is really inflammatory without explaining much if you're seeing people talk about it out of context.

i asked you to shut up and block me, but no. you dont have the right to ask about my personal information when you wont even let me see who you are to me. are we mutuals? if so, i wont get mad, i would like to talk about our different experiences and perhaps each of us can figure out why the other thinks as they do.

if you are some random person who wants to make my bad day worse, congratulations, youve succeeded.

i am 25. i am ace. i am neurodivergent. i am 6 feet tall. i wear platform. im trans. i work in retail. im white. i weight ~170 lbs. i get on well with my dad. im pro-ship. these are things i am ok with sharing. there are things i am not okay with sharing too. things that effected how i interacted with fanfic, sure. but i can't tell you about those, do you understand?

i believe it is the responsibility of the reader to seek out or avoid content based on their likes and dislikes.

this include adult and minor ships.

i think pedophiles and pedophilia is disgusting, but if we decided to eliminate any content that touched on the subject of young-people-having-sex we would be doing far more harm than good.

the thing is anti-ship people dont just "protect kids" like you seem to think. when someone writes something they deem "problematic" the antis will harrass them until either the author leaves, or the author reveals personal information that they Should Not Have To Share.

if you want to prevent kids from being groomed, i agree that should be addressed but this is not the way to do it.

if you want to continue this conversation, please dm me, i promise to not reveal your id. if you stay on anon i understand, but you too need to understand my hesitance to talk publicly like this.

#i dont like talking about this but that doesn't mean i dont know what im saying. #ask #asks #vinslakte #answers #i think i had a tag for asks but hell it i remember it #anon #nonny

[the-astral-clocktower]

do all the questions !!

All the questions? Sure, why not? Insomnia is making me its bitch anyway1: How did you choose your name?- originally I was gonna go with Lilith from Borderlands 2 because yes please to her entire aesthetic, but I decided to go with the more "normal person" name Maria. Partly because of the lead singer of In This Moment, Maria Brink (absolutely gorgeous, phenomenal singer, and the Black Widow album helped inspire me to live true to myself), and Lady Maria from Bloodborne (she's got a Tragic Backstory, feel disconnected from family due to traditions/ environment, and has regrets about who sent was). All in all, one is a person I admire to be like and the other feels like I'm looking in a mirror. Both are also women with blonde hair and I think I look damn good as a blonde2: What gives you the most dysphoria? -Facial/ body hair3: Do you have more physical dysphoria or more social dysphoria?- Most of the time, physical dysphoria. Social dysphoria still gets to me because I'm not out to my family and everyone in that group refer to me with childhood nicknames/ my "(grand) son/ nephew." 4: What do you do to perform self-care when you’re feeling dysphoric?- Shower, shave, lie in bed and dissociate while playing mindless games on my phone 5: What was the first time you suspected you were transgender?- this is actually a hard one for me to answer. I was (in a weird/ sad reality) really sheltered as a kid, in the sense that I didn't even know transgender people were a thing until High School. I think part of it started when I began playing runescape in middle school; I chose a female avatar and went with a generic female name whenever someone in game asked for it. For some reason, I really enjoyed being addressed like that but chocked it up to being like 12. Similar thoughts came up again in HS when I was told on several occasions and by several people that I'd make a pretty girl; again, I took it as a compliment and it made me feel really good about myself. Other times were also when I was asked "what would you do if you suddenly woke up as a girl?" my answer was usually "go back to sleep and go try on cute clothes" and also being super jealous of girls at school dances (wanting to wear the gorgeous dresses/ heels/ makeup)6:When did you realize you were transgender?- January of 2014, when I had read on Tumblr about Leelah Alcorn. It was extremely depressing to read her letter and diary entries about her personal life; while reading everything, I kept realizing that I felt almost exactly the same way she did, and by extension that I was also trans7: What is your favorite part of being transgender?- just being able to feel comfortable in my own skin, and also getting to wear all the cute shit I wanted to in HS8: How would you explain your gender identity to others?- the people I have come out to, I simply as them not to use he/him pronouns because I outright don't identify as such. It's pretty simple9: How did you come out? If you didn’t come out, why do you stay in the closet? Or what happened when you were outed?- at first, I only told people when we were able to talk 1 on 1. As I've gotten more comfortable with my identity, I gladly come out to people that I'm comfortable around. I still need to come out at work which I'm avoiding for 2 reasons. The first is that I don't know how open-minded/ accepting my coworkers/ boss are; the second being that I want to get on hormones so that there's no turning back on what I say and how I feel10: What have your experiences with packing or wearing breast forms been?- haven't done anything with breast forms yet, probably gonna be uncomfortable though 11: What are your experiences with binding or tucking?- tucking is a hassle in general. It either falls apart quickly, or I ended up sitting down or walking wrong and hurting myself. 12: Do you pass?- I highly doubt it atm13: What (if any) steps do you want to take to medically transition?- optimally I want the full 9 yards. Hrt, permanent hair removal, SRS, and possibly feminizing facial surgery 14: How long have you been out?- I'd say close to 3 years15: What labels have you used before you’ve settled on your current set?- only he/him and that's due to being oblivious for so long16: Have you ever experienced transphobia?- yes. A lot of internalized transphobia; but there have been a few times where someone will show me something they find funny, and it turns out to be in extremely poor taste17: What do you do when you have to go to the bathroom in public?- I prefer gender neutral bathrooms, so I ended up holding it in for longer than I should18: How does your family feel about your trans identity?- don't know for sure, but probably gonna get disowned to some degree19: Would you ever go stealth, and if you are stealth, why do you choose to be stealth?- I don't plan on being 100% stealth, but I'm also not going to hide anything out of fear. Kinda like Don't Ask Don't Tell, I'll answer truthfully, but I won't go out of my way to explain it all20: What do you wish you could have shared with your younger self about being trans?- "you know those weird thoughts to get from being addressed as a girl and the happy butterflies in your gut? Roll with it, tell someone that you want to see a Dr about it. Be prepared for a ton of BS, it'll be worth it in the end. Stay strong, kid"21: Why do you use the pronouns you use?- mix of "why should I be addressed by something that makes me feel like shit?" and "fuck off with this binary shit"22: Do your neurodivergencies affect your gender?- maybe, I think my gender compounded the divergences that were already there 23: What’s your biggest trans-related fear?- safety. So many trans people are attacked and killed that it makes me hesitant to even bother. But I'm known for being stubborn and having a devil may care attitude 24: What medical, social, or personal steps have you already taken to start your transition?- I've come out to 90% of my friends and I've got a therapist that's willing to write me a letter of recommendation to get me started on HRT. I'm currently looking for a DR in the North Tx area anyone knows one25: What do you wish cis people understood?- gender identity =/ sexual orientation 26: What impact has being trans affected your life?- it's made me rethink how I view issues in the world, but also more cynical 27: What do you do to validate yourself?- look at my ugly mug and the mirror after a hot shower and say "you're a boss and bitch, don't let up now"28: How do you feel about trans representation in media?- we need significantly more accurate portrayals29: Who is your favorite trans celebrity?- off the top of my head, I only know of Laverne Cox, so she's #1 by default 30: Who is the transgender person who has influenced you the most?- Leelah Acorn, the tragedy of her death allowed me to realize why I was so miserable for so long 31: How are you involved with the trans community, IRL or online?- not much, if at all. I'm not super big on communities but that's only due to trust and self image issues 32: How do you see yourself identifying and presenting in 5 years?- hopefully full femme made and keeping NB/ trans femme33: What trans issue are you most passionate about?- my mind is 100% here ATM because it's 4am, so I can't think of anything other than wanting HRT to be more accessible to people instead of having to jump through hoops 34: What advice would you give to other trans people, or what message would you like to share with them?- safety first, pride in oneself second35: How do you feel your gender interacts with your race, disability, class, weight, etc. from the perspective of intersectionality?- I personally don't think it does but that's only because I'm a white person in the 20s36: What, if any, is the difference between your gender identity and your gender expression?- none at all37: Do you feel more masculine, feminine, or neither?- fem/ neither 38: What is your sexual and romantic orientation, and what are your thoughts on it?- only interested in women and NB people. In my head, I like the theory of being with a guy, but feel no sexual attraction to them39: Is your ideal partner also trans, or do you not have a preference?- no preference40: How did/do you manage waiting to transition?- think to myself "next paycheck, I'm gonna find a Dr and get this train moving"41: What is the place (blog, website, forum, IRL space) you get most of your info on being trans or on trans related things?- google, tumblr and reddit42f Do you interact with other trans people IRL?- got a friend that I used to work with at pizza hit who's a trans guy. You know who you are ^.^43: Are you involved in any trans-related activism?- not really, but I do want to get involved

[1ff]

How to Relate to Multiples: Closets and Disclosure

In order to get other perspectives and help flush out this guide, I’m sharing this rough draft. Please feel free to correct me or suggest additions. As promised, I’m working on making this guide more inclusive to all kinds of multiples, and I appreciate advice on that.

In case you didn’t catch all of the posts so far:

Part 1 (Introductions, Definitions, Terminology) http://1ff.tumblr.com/post/159889250703/how-to-relate-to-multiples-part-1

Part 2 (Dissociation) http://1ff.tumblr.com/post/159957150468/how-to-relate-to-multiples-part-2-dissociation

Part 3 (What To Expect When You Meet a Headmate) http://1ff.tumblr.com/post/160060131628/how-to-relate-to-multiples-what-to-expect-when

Part 4 (Conversational Do’s and Don’ts) http://1ff.tumblr.com/post/160100662958/how-to-relate-to-multiples-conversational-dos

There are many reasons for people to keep their multiplicity a secret, some of them complex. There is a social stigma against neurodivergence and mental illness, and multiplicity in particular has its own set of prejudices. Many multiples face stereotypes from popular media that cast multiples as either helpless victims or as sadistic killers.

As well, daytime talk shows (especially through the 90s) reinforced the image of multiples as victims of abuse, and that idea is so well-known that telling someone you are multiple immediately recalls that correlation. Some people have difficulty telling others about their multiplicity because they don't want that association to be the first thing people think of. Some people would rather share their multiplicity without having to explain their past. This is especially difficult for multiples who didn't experience abuse, or whose experience of abuse was atypical. With the relative rarity of multiplicity and common misunderstandings and skepticism, a multiple disclosing their nature often has to be immediately prepared to defend themselves. Sometimes we are thrust into the situation of being demanded to give details about our past and origins, even when such information would be humiliating and inappropriate.

For multiples who have experienced abuse or some other form of alienation from their families, they have an added reason to keep their multiplicity a secret. The revelation of multiplicity could be understood as an accusation against the family. It could even be interpreted as such when the multiple themselves doesn't make that accusation.

Disclosure can sometimes have seriously devastating consequences. Even if there is no diagnosis, this information can be used against a multiple in very damaging ways. Children can be taken away, spouses may divorce, friends will distance themselves, parents may disown, churches may excommunicate, jobs may be lost. The exact nature of the fallout will depend on your friend's situation. Leave that disclosure up to your friend and their system.

It's important to be aware that even if you don't intend to disclose, you might accidentally reveal information and put your friend in an awkward position. The best way to avoid problems is to talk to your friend and have a plan. Here are some general guidelines to help you out- bring them up with your friend and make sure you know how to handle future situations.

If your friend is completely closeted:

Don't mention that your friend is multiple, even if it's to someone you don't think knows your friend or interacts with them.

Avoid mentioning that you know anybody who is multiple, even if you don't mention your friend by name. This can be difficult sometimes, but remember that your friend has a lot more riding on this information than you do. Sometimes people are able to put two and two together in ways you didn't anticipate.

If you're in a social situation where somebody says something disparaging about multiplicity and you feel angered and want to retaliate, your words as an ally are highly appreciated, but do your best to avoid mentioning your personal connection to a multiple. Saying “it's not true, most multiples aren't violent and dangerous” is great, but saying “most multiples aren't violent and dangerous, I know a multiple and they're nice!” could be damaging to your friend.

Avoid mentioning details about your friend's headmates. For instance, if a headmate likes to write fiction as a hobby, don't mention their writing to another friend unless you have permission. Don't talk about your friend's headmates as though they are separate-bodied people. In a situation like this, the headmate writer might suggest you say something like “I ran into this story online and it's great, you should have a read” instead of mentioning you know the author. Or say “check out this Etsy store I found, aren't these hats awesome?” instead of saying that the knitter is someone you know.

If you are spending time with your friend's headmate, and you are out in public, make sure you know how they want to be addressed. Also, make sure you know how they should be addressed if you happen to run into a mutual friend. You will most likely have to switch back to referring to the headmate by your friend's name and pronouns.

Be aware that sometimes your friend may slip up, such as saying “we” instead of “I.” Make sure that you don't call attention to this. Most people won't even notice, or assume it was a slip of the tongue. With this kind of mistake, just pretend it didn't happen. If anyone asks your friend, they probably already have a standby excuse to shrug it off.

If your friend is NOT closeted:

If you mention your friend and their system to other people, keep in mind that it's not your story to tell. Don't discuss their origins, lifestyle, or therapy.

Make sure you know what information is considered safe to discuss publicly. For instance, some systems might be fine with you mentioning that your friend is multiple, but prefer you don't give information about their headmates. Some are fine with information about headmates but might have specific issues with certain facts about their system; for instance, some systems might prefer you don't say how many members the system has.

Make sure you know what contexts are appropriate for bringing up the information. Even if your friend is public about their multiplicity, they will probably not want that disclosure to be sensationalist.

Because there are many people out there who are fascinated by multiples, be cautious of what you say. Be extremely wary if someone asks to meet you friend. If they have questions and would like to speak to your friend, talk to your friend first and tell them. Whatever you do, don't give out contact information under the assumption that your friend likes to inform and advocate and won't mind. Since a full name is all many people need in order to contact someone through social media, be cautious who you give that information to.

Above all, check with your friend, and if you don't know, err on the side of silence. Be aware too that different members of a system might have different ideas about disclosure, so make sure you understand what the group's consensus is rather than going by what one member thinks.

#multiplicity #dissociative identity disorder #quoigenic #endogenic #positivelyplural #systematicpride