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evilcowgirl · 1 year

Text

Relationship Headcannons

pairings: arthur, charles, javier (x reader)

a/n: was thinking about these today while listening to fiona apple hope y'all enjoy !!

warnings: nsfw

Arthur

he has low self confidence and doesn't ever really feel worthy of your time or attention, so he'll never ask for it directly. still, you can tell when he's missing you because he's a bit obvious.

"Wha'cha doing sitting out here all by yourself?" "Oh nothin' you just seemed busy. . ." "You want some company?" "Only if you'll have me."

he's a bit distant physically most of the time, not because he isn't crazy about you but because thats how he's always been, but he loves when you initiate any kind of intimacy (kisses, soft touches, just wanting to be held) he always reciprocates

compliments are nearly almost met with either objection or you ending up undressed he has no medium !!

nearly goes insane over your safety, he never really thought you were fit for a group like this and wishes he could hide you away somewhere safe. he's the reason you're barely ever out on jobs. he likes knowing you're safe and waiting on him when you get back.

sometimes after a job or an outing he comes back even more brute than usual and that oftentimes means you two need to head back to his tent and be alone for a bit while he gets his mind clear.

sometimes pushes you away when he's stressed but you can see right through his rudeness. when he's upset you hold your ground until he gives in and tells you what's bothering you no matter what he says about wanting you to leave him be.

"I think you might know me better than myself darlin'."

Charles

his worst fear is scaring you, its the last thing he ever wants to do and he finds himself constantly checking that you're not frightened

after being on a job with him where you had to watch him do something rather intense he'd check up on you just to be sure

"You know I had to do that right? I didn't want to." , "I didn't want you seeing that." , "You're not scared are you?"

he loves when you sit on his lap. It makes him feel warm inside. he's really sweet like that and love's having your bodies close.

soft dom.

favorite thing in the world is to watch you ride him, it gets him off more than anything else to see you pleasuring yourself above him while he still has the control to set the pace.

he only really speaks when he has something to say and that's something you learn to understand. sometimes you can talk forever without him saying a word, just glances and nods. you know that that doesn't mean he isn't listening, in-fact he's the best listener you've ever met.

EXTREMELY flirty when he's drunk or even just tipsy. he's really good with his words and has you hiding your face from embarrassment at all the attention.

i think he likes thigh riding i don't have any reasoning for it but i'm right he loves it when you ride his thigh cause he thinks its cute.

he takes you out hunting for small things like rabbits and squirrels when you feel up to it. he congratulates you like you've just done the most incredible thing ever during it. he likes to pick you up in a "yass u did it !!!" type of way and it makes you swoon.

Javier

he compliments you in the most beautiful ways and you wonder where he learned to talk to women because jesus christ !!

he has tons of stories and it feels like he's lived 1000 more lives than you. even with everything he's been through he still has a young soul and you find that endearing.

he gets a weird sense of pride teaching you things (and not just survival related things hes lowkey a freak)

he's really attached to his clothes, they're like an extension on him and so naturally he only trusts you to clean them.

he has a knife kink, this is basically cannon. he'd never force something like that on you if you weren't into it but he'd try to introduce it to you in the most non threatening way possible.

"It's just my knife, see? Yeah see? There's nothing to be scared of, have I ever hurt you?"

he comes to you with all of his worries whether they're something you two can laugh off together or something more serious. he trusts you with his emotions more than anyone else and he was more of them than he lets on. he likes to lay his head down in your lap while you play with his hair. it's the easiest way to get him talking about whatever's on his mind.

he's possessive and jealous just about to to a fault. he all but brags about you being his to anyone who will listen, not only because you're beautiful but because he's genuinely so proud of you. the less heartwarming side of this is the possessiveness that comes with it, if he even has an inkling that another man has interest in you he doesn't hesitate to press a revolver to them or his knife to their throat.

"hate" sex. he likes to really get the point across that you're his to you and everyone else. he leaves hickies and bruises that ache and last for days when he's done with you.

he's got a soft spot for you that he's not afraid to show to the rest of the gang, kissing you up against trees or clasping hands with you regardless who's watching.

#red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #rdr2 fanfic #rdr2 headcanons #arthur morgan #arthur morgan x reader #charles smith #charles smith x reader #javier escuella #javier escuella x reader #arthur morgan imagine #javier escuella imagine #arthur morgan headcanons #javier escuella headcanons #charles smith imagine #rdr2 imagine

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therealprismcat · 5 months

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PLEASE DO IT

the people have decided, here's a fanfic rec list of dsaf fanfics that arent focussed on davesport! (in no particular order)

Centipedes by Raccoonsandpossumswritesometimes [incomplete]

Dee centric fic which is a swap between Dee and Jack. Not only is davesport not the main focus, it's also pretty toxic. TWs at the beginning of each chapter, but heed the tags.

Hello, You. by galaticanthem [incomplete]

Another similar premise to Centipedes. If you think davesport is toxic in centipedes though, here it is arguably worse. Plot is a bit confusing as of chapter 7, but as it stands, here are the trigger warnings that I can remember off of the top of my head (but basically, if you're sensitive to disturbing themes, i'd skip this one):

Murder

Abuse

Kidnapping (by the looks of it but ????)

Underage drinking

Neglect

Body horror (I think??? it's so early into the fic im unsure of half these warnings but as it is rn i think it is important they're there because thats what it looks like at least)

Dave is very objectively NOT a good person in this fic. Like, at all. I don't think any future chapter could change that. If you're a person who cannot read about their favourite character committing absolutely heinous things theres nothing wrong with that and I wouldn't read this. If you can stomach all that though, it's a good story.

Dave and Old Sport Adopt a Kid by Wario_Speedwagon [incomplete]

Davesport is there and it's prevalent and not toxic, but it's not the main focus. It's more of an accidental baby acquisition fic. I can't think of any trigger warnings for this one, but check the tags. always.

Matted Fur by Afval [one-shot]

Evil ending fic with rabbit symbolism for Dave. All TWs are in the tags.

Sharp-Toothed Rabbit by orphan_account [one-shot]

More evil end Dave ft. animal metaphors! what more could you want? All TWs in the tags.

happiest day by grimkid [one-shot]

A fic about Jack's happiest day. Jack x Steven, no TWs iirc but heed the tags.

Octane Rating by dontrollthedice [one-shot]

Canon compliant fic about the good ending, only its harrysport. i dont even like the ship but this fic makes me so unwell /pos. No TWs I think but look at the tags.

NO MIDDLE-CALLING by XYZ_Countoriss [one-shot]

Silly chatfic, what can go wrong? -oh that right. No TWs needed, but look at the tags.

Operation Get Your Brother to Remember You After Years of Thinking He is Dead by Sockth [incomplete]

A fic focussed on Peter and Jack, I think the title is self explanatory. No TWs but look at tags.

Safety Infiltration by themostneontwig [incomplete]

After Jack betrays Dee in the evil route, Dave decides he needs to be stopped. A fic based around the idea of Legacy Jack founding the pizzaplex. No TWs that instantly come to mind other than the fact that it's set almost immediately after Jack kills Dee. Look at the tags though.

Hot Chocolate by Wario_Speedwagon [one-shot]

Ouch, set right after Jack dies the first time round. This fic physically hurt me and I mean that in the best way possible. TWs in tags.

After the Storm by themostneontwig [one-shot]

Christmas fic focussed on Peter and Jack. Read this one after Hot Chocolate, it can save you. No TWs unless you're Ebenezer Scrooge in which case dni

Jack's Squad Has UNO Night by Wario_Speedwagon [one-shot]

The title's a lie they play cluedo /j just some wholesome fun. No TWs.

An Unexpected Connection by End_Transmission [one-shot]

Post good end, but Jack 'lives'. We all know Dave had at least ONE kid. No TWs.

Peter Kennedy and the Worst Place on Earth by biptari [incomplete]

AU where Jack and Peter swap places. Steven x Peter. As for TWs I can't say everything off of the top of my head but I KNOW Henry is homophobic and transphobic in this. I can't remember if he says slurs 100% but I'm pretty sure he does use at least one so like, watch out. Other than that, heed the tags.

That's all I have right now. If you know some more then feel free to reblog to add them. No hate to davesport or anything but if you write dsaf fanfics that aren't focussed on davesport then you are my lifeline /hj

#dayshift at freddy's #dsaf #dsaf au #dsaf fanfic #dsaf fanfic rec list #rec list

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filmnoirsbian · 11 months

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I have a question and lmk if its out of line or if you dont wanna answer it thats fine, but basically im a professional artist in the field of fine arts, and as such i have over time learned what makes art "good". I can like or not like it, but usually, im at least able to come up with a defendable opinion on why it is contextually bad art or good art, or rather, whether or not a given artist is 'good' at what they do. With poetry tho, while i (like everyone i think) journal recreationally, i really have trouble identifying whether either my own poems or other peoples are good. Like. This came to mind esp after your rupi kaur post, bc ur right, i dont like her, but i cannot for the life of me articulatw WHY i think its bad. Anyway tldr i guess how can you tell? What are some markers of good vs bad poetry ? (Especially technically speaking) i think these 2 things are similar bc with art too a lot of ppl will be like "ohhh its all relative" but like there are actual markers ofskill and well executed intent, and for fine arts i tend to know them (stuff like influence/filiation, taking into acct the viewers experience, intentionality of creative choices.....) but with poetry as a field i just like. Dont have that technical knowledge to talk about my feelings about a poem like i do with art ans i was wondering if u could help

This is a very complicated debate that has been ongoing since the birth of art and literature. I think it can be difficult for some people to allow that a piece of art (in this case, this includes poetry) can be technically well-crafted while not effecting them emotionally, and that a piece of art can effect them emotionally while being not technically well-crafted. A words app poem that you see which is filled with typos and accidental grammatical errors but which touches on a topic deeply important to you can make you cry while still needing work in its technical aspects, and that doesn't make it either good or bad as an objective work of art. Likewise, there are plenty of poems I've read which were deftly crafted by talented poets but were ultimately forgettable to me because they did not strike an emotional chord. Their lack of emotional resonance also does not make them good or bad. I think that because art has such a capacity for emotional resonance, it's easy to accept that as the most important criteria for what makes art "good," but I personally don't think that's fair. But to me, good poetry is honest--not autobiographical, but written with intent, some understanding of wordcraft as a medium, and meant to evoke a genuine understanding within the reader. Rupi Kaur is sort of a punching bag at this point, often from people who don't actually write poetry which I'll admit I find frustrating, because most criticism of her works is shallow and dependent on the idea that a poem must make you feel something to be good. That isn't a good basis for art criticism, because what makes you feel something is never guaranteed to make anyone else feel. But to me, what makes Kaur's poetry "bad" (not my preferred term, I'd describe it more as shallow or juvenile) is the lack of honesty. Her work is purposefully scrubbed of any distinction so it can be as widely applicable as possible, and in doing so, her poems become no more genuine or meaningful than the mass-printed fortunes in fortune cookies. And, worst of all, there is no technicality behind her wordcraft to make up for the lack of thematic complexity. Both style and substance are rendered as plain and inoffensive as possible. When an artist creates something, they are putting something of themselves into their work, so the art becomes a contract between the artist and audience. The artist is trusting the audience to genuinely engage with their work, and the audience is trusting that the artist has shared something genuine. Good or bad comes later; that it is something the artist created themselves with intent is the first step. But when art is made only with mass consumption in mind, it becomes stripped down to only the bare ingredients of art; it is art on paper, by definition, but it is not art by intent. It's a tree with no limbs, no leaves, no creatures making a home in it. It's not much better than a telephone pole.

When I judge a poem as good or bad, I look first for complexity, either in narrative or structure. This doesn't mean a poem must be a long-winded sonnet to be good; some of my favorite poems are haikus, and in fact haiku is my favorite poetic form. This is because often I find haikus carry multiple meanings, the poet packing in as much story as they can in such small luggage. Most of all, I just wish would-be critics would use their words; "Rupi Kaur's poetry is bad because it's boring" is not good criticism. Your definition of boring is not someone else's. "Rupi Kaur's poetry is rendered shallow and meaningless by the attention-consumption economy it was bred in and has no intelligent wordplay or articulation to constitute a poem that is at least engaging for the mind to read" is a bit more comprehensive.

#asks #poetry

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kakusu-shipping · 4 months

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I was the sadistic po3 ask and you are so right. I honestly hadn't thought about it for very long its the vibe he gives off initially but the more I think on it the more I realize hes the type to fall little by little and then all at once. The type to call you an idiot and give you advice in the same statement, to notice immediately when you change your hair style or a new shirt. The moment he realizes hes the type to do the oh. oh. oh no. Like thats his vibe. hes a dick but a loving one.

Okay FIRST OF ALL anon that post is almost two years old at this point so. Welcome back. I'm sorry I was so harsh to your Sadistic Yandere P03 concept.

SECOND P03 acts of service Tsundere type is so funny I love that for him. He will deny he did that for you, or if he accepts it he expects gratitude of the highest caliber.

This doesn't feel very Yandere to me though this is very base P03 affection to me. But that's because to me P03 is the least Yandere out of the Scrybes.. and I think that's why the polycule broke up before you arrived??

He was the object of their obsessions, and it was smothering and toxic and terrifying. He hated it, he was scared, he was cadged, he could never do anything on his own or go anywhere without checking in on someone. He never had his own space, never had control...

Yandere P03 would then push that cycle of abuse onto you, take control from you, not forcefully, but just a little bit at a time. Manipulate your space slowly so you have fewer and fewer options on where to go, like shortening a leash on a dog. It takes time. It takes routine.

This though, the acts of service and catering to your comfort, is Post Recovery P03. A P03 who's had time, a LOT of time, to himself, to his space, and found loneliness. He wants you to want to come back, because deep down he needs you, but doesn't want to admit that, because to him it's wrong to need someone. It hits too close to home, make him feel too much like the other scrybes.

He'll give you reasons to want to come back, and it'll remind him of how Grimora would always lend him things so he'd have reason to return. How she'd gift him everything he'd wanted so he'd come back, how she'd loose several matches in a row, and only win the one he'd said was his last game, so he'd stay and challenge her to a rematch

He'll follow on your heel as you wander around his factory because it's dangerous and maze like, and it'll remind him of the feeling of being followed, of being watched, by Magnificus everywhere he went. The suffocating feeling of never being anywhere alone, of eyes that saw his every possible future always on him. He'll deny his affections to you and remind himself of Magnificus doing the same when he'd stumbled into a room covered wall to wall in paintings of himself, in situations he knew Magnificus was not with him

He'll spend time tailoring his game to your play style, making sure cards you like are more plentiful, making sure the puzzles are engaging and challenging, and he'll remind himself of Leshy, the worst of them all, and that cabin full of intrigue. Of story and hard fights and difficult puzzles and nights of "Just one more round" turned three and four. When he floats just above you to feel superior he'll be reminded of the wall that use to be a door that he'd pressed himself against Leshy towered above him, a man who'd say one thing and feel another, who'd played the hero over and over in their games, and revealed himself the villain when P03 attempted to leave

He doesn't want to need you in the same way the other Scrybes had needed him

#Emile's Writing #Ask to tag #P03 X Reader #PO3 X Reader #Yandere #Mentioned anyway and discussed but not really the main point I guess #Well I mean kind of actually #Inscryption X Reader #GN!reader #Post Yandere Polycule P03 is probably my favorite way to write him #He was the object of their affection and he got away but not unscathed #Mags can be really fucked up if you really sit on his concepts for long enough #God. GOD.#TWO YEARS.#It's been two years huh I haven't touched much Inscryption X Reader sense then #You caught me on a Yandere kick again anon #I don't know where you've been for 2 years but glad to see you #Sorry I shut down you Sadistic Yandere idea so quick I was not jiving with it back then #And idk I have a VERY specific take on P03 #He just got out of a very toxic relationship give him some space #He needs you he doesn't want to need you but he needs you #He just needs some time to learn that it's okay to need someone...

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gunsli-01 · 11 months

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Hii! Just a quick thought but when I read your post about the worst outcomes for mahiru's case, I misinterpreted your point of "mahiru dosent love her boyfriend" as her resenting her boyfriend instead of being in a relationship for the sake of it.

However, I do think it's very very likely mahiru has at least subconscious resentment of him.

I saw you used the point "I guess we can just say that this feeling is happiness. I can’t stop feeling like there’s something missing- What do you think? I know it's not the type of question you want to be asked." As mahiru pestering her victim to be in a relationship, but I can't help but wonder if this mahiru asking why she dosent feel totally happy while being in a romantic relationship with her victim. He's bothered by it so she backs off and claims she said it cause he's cute confused. Even her tone while saying "I know it's not the question you want to be asked" comes off as meek and shy, like she's scared of him getting angry (her being scared of/anticipating him getting angry gets referenced again- "we both get lonely sometimes, but I wonder if you'll get angry soon?")

Mahiru seems to cover up all her distress under toxic positivity. Like the "we fought sometimes, I was happy to be hurt" line is the most obvious example to me (something something love is pain, or maybe receiving any form of attention from her partner is good attention?) Even in the voice dramas when she gets upset, she quickly changes the topic (like going from talking about her murder to es to Mahiru trying to get to know Es better and talking about love)

From the diary entries, we know that mahiru is copying her bf to try and appeal and it seems he isn't putting that much effort back into that. Day 9 she mentions him getting black out drunk in their date but covers it up by saying he was cute drunk, mahiru mentions him not ever paying attention to her efforts of beauty but just calls him dense, ect.

Also the fact Mahiru's boyfriend never shows up in the mv until he's giving her something in day 14, thats the only time he shows up at its only his hand. Mahiru's lines in undercover have her complaining about wanting to recieve instead of always give. So maybe that was one of the few times Mahiru's boyfriend went out of the way to do something for her expecting nothing in return, and that's why he appears that day.

the fact Mahiru's mind chooses to represent herself in a birdcage is interesting as well, like she feels trapped in her life.

Mahiru also barely even mentions her boyfriend at all in her voice drama, portal convos, and I think mentions him like once in interrogation. While she does say she would bring him back to life, that dosent automatically disprove Mahiru felt upset with him. It's possible she had mixed feelings and still loves him, or simply feels bad for causing someone's death.

Sorry if this is poorly worded, I wrote this in a rush!

Firstly, I think it's important to state the reason that I made that post was to go over every possible interpretation of Mahiru's actions.

Secondly,

TL;DR- All these theories mine included only showcase a facet of the sort of person Mahiru could be not the whole picture. Swinging between glamorization, flanderization, and vilification over and over. When the fact is there's no speculation that will ever outweigh the truth of the matter. There is no framing of the circumstance that will overshadow an objective truth.

Sadly or maybe luckily the truth of a situation is usually far more interesting than anyone expects. Honestly, that's the most exciting thing about all this.

As I have already covered what you are referring to here before, multiple times I saw no point in retreading those topics there. This framing of events while reasonable and valid to a degree gives Mahiru a lot of the benefit of the doubt. To the extent that it can appear bias in her favor to more objective observers or too simple of a case thus lacking the ambiguity that Milgram is known for.

The purpose of that post was to highlight how everything within Milgram is up to individual interpretation and that there is no definitive answer for what the prisoners have done as of now. It's simply all speculation and as such it can be as in favor or out of the character's favor as the one speculating permits.

It doesn't need to be fair, reasonable, or even heavily backed up by the source material for one to speculate what they believe to be is the case. This is why I tend to not debate other's theories and just stick to writing up my own observations on the information presented. I enjoy having facts from the source material lead me in my observations. Because I am not one to deviate from canon naturally and tend to enjoy adhering to it even if it does something I dislike. This is the only reason I back up my statements with information from the source material.

As you pointed out with your recanting of my use of lyrics in This Is How To Be In Love With You for the points of my previous post. However, to avoid a misunderstanding I will try to put this simply-

The purpose of the post you are referencing was to:

A. Analyze the idea that Mahiru was not dating her victim through as fair and objective of a framing as possible. Meaning not implying the state of her relationship with her victim made her crime more forgivable or less.

B. Highlight how the information Milgram has provided leans itself to various interpretations depending on the person, highlight why that may be the case, and examine what those interpretations were.

To my knowledge, Mahiru was voted Guilty during trial one because people believed her to be a stalker due to her first cover song. I believe that the weakest evidence was chosen to push forward this interpretation but that the concept in and of itself was not unfounded given the rest of the information surrounding her character.

This seems to be supported by the fact that she and every other prisoner outside of Kazui were given an Es cover. However, that is me working under the speculation that Kazui has yet to get an Es cover because the fans beliefs about him were o incorrect that it didn't matter if his song hit a million or not it just wasn't happening.

Something that seems to be supported by how his character has developed from trial one to two now telling Milgram to figure out his lies. However, this could be incorrect. However, if it is true that would mean that what people speculated about Mahiru was close enough to the truth to warrant an Es cover.

Outside of this reasoning I genuinely believe that it's not only important to highlight the more positive interpretations but the more negative ones as well. Because Milgram has left things vague to give space for both of those interpretations to exist.

In your ask, you point out that we only see Mahiru's boyfriend on day fourteen stating,

"So maybe that was one of the few times Mahiru's boyfriend went out of the way to do something for her expecting nothing in return, and that's why he appears that day."

This is inherently false. They had gone out drinking together previously and to the filming locations of one of the films they liked together. However, in those photos Mahiru is the only one shown.

This could be because she wanted to highlight how happy he was making her as the line shown with that image implies,

"I suck at pretending to smile- But see! I feel great because of you!"

However, she could have purposely highlighted herself to make the outing seem more romantic than it was.

It is possible that day fourteen is the only time Mahiru could have highlighted her and her victim doing something together that appeared like a date without only focusing on herself. This would be possible if day fourteen is the only time her and her victim were alone together during an outing. If he was hanging back surrounded by others, then of course Mahiru would be incapable of highlighting him during these other instances because it would become readily apparent these other times were not dates.

Once again it all comes down to framing. Every other thing they did together, including when she was invited over to his house could have been group activities.

It's easy to use the movie date to propose that Mahiru and this individual must have been dating.

Mahiru even frames it as a date in her diary entry.

However, this is the first and only outing between them she frames as a date throughout the entirety of her first song. You also said this is probably the first time he did something with her without expecting anything in return but Mahiru states in this day's diary entry she had to beg him to come with her. So, he probably expected her to stop asking or bringing it up at least.

In this picture we even see that there are only two chairs there. Unlike with every other picture in This Is How To Be In Love With You that heavily focuses on only where Mahiru is leaving everything else as background.

He's not even shown on the day of the confession, but we see that Mahiru is looking up at him as he's leaving first-

This is a possibility highlighted through her, "But see! I feel great because of you!" comment.

It's there to show us that these views of Mahiru we're seeing are the expressions she showed the person she loved. How she wanted to be seen by them. That's the reason he only appears in Day 14. Because before that all of these are images taken with the concept of being observed in mind. She's trying to look her best for him and those around her.

An aspect of her that is highlighted through the styling tips she has within her diary entries.

Mahiru states that she was invited to his house for the first time here. There's nothing inherently romantic about this- Until she adds on,

"It was my first time going to a man's house." Giving it the slightest hint of a romantic inclination. However, Mahiru is positioned at the front door after removing her outdoor shoes and putting on slippers, a nervous and confused look on her face hands placed in front of her as she takes a nervous bow in greeting.

There's even a bead of sweat on her face to emphasize her caught off guard confusion. As though she's going, "Huh, I thought it would just be us here." Mahiru has a habit of getting overexcited and jumping to conclusions along with being notably ditzy-

Chances are she just heard him invite her to his house and without very much thought agreed under the misguided belief their relationship was advancing. We know she's an airhead Milgram has told us this multiple times.

Q.26 Has anything interesting happened in MILGRAM lately?

Yuno: – Confirmed that Mahiru-san really is a natural airhead – Futa getting looked down on by Amane.

So, it's not out of the realm of possibility for her to do this and then be surprised when she gets there just to see other people are there as well. Then go,

"Ha, ha I'm just nervous because this is my first time being invited into a man's home! It-it's such a romantic thing, exactly like the books I've read. I was so nervous with anticipation that I didn't eat anything all day. I don't remember much else about it though! Couldn't tell you if it was just us or what happened while in there it's all a blur ha, ha...nerves, huh? *starts chugging alcohol to forget the pain*"

Then regarding the trip to the movie location that was overlooked Mahiru writes this in her diary,

"We went to one of the filming locations for a movie we both like! This sort of thing can only happen in Tokyo huh! It really must be fate that even our taste in movies lines up. I feel like a totally different person to before I met him……"

Day. 11

For a date when you’re walking around you definitely want pants and low heels so as not to spoil the day! Wear fake glasses for a change of pace to give off an intelligent air♡

"We" here can refer to more than the two of them. Once again, the only thing that makes this appear to be a date is Mahiru's framing of the situation. Even her saying she feels like a totally different person than she was before she met him could be because she's been pretending to be interested in the same things he is since they first began talking.

All of the entries where her alleged boyfriend is around she highlights him being there.

So, instead of asking why didn't he show up until day fourteen the question should be why didn't Mahiru show us him until day fourteen while blatantly telling us he was there beforehand? It has been shown that the prisoners have some level of control over what is extracted into their songs in various ways at this point.

So why did she only choose to highlight his presence there? On what to her own admission would appear to be the most date-like circumstances at that. I've interrogated her alleged partners actions and mannerisms already to hell and back but it's unfair to do that for him and never her.

Especially since news flash he's dead, he can't do anything else, he can't graduate college, he can't go back to his part time job, he can't have other lovers. Mahiru can. She states that she wants to live for love now, she's taking notes on how to raise her future children. She has a life to live that she's blatantly looking forward to after taking away someone else's.

Only interrogating his behavior or just hers isn't fair to either of them or the situation.

Then there's this-

This moment is to Mahiru's own admission, the first time they started speaking. Before this point she had only seen him around school and around town. The first thing she did was immediately lie to him about her interests in an attempt to get closer to him. This isn't inherently a bad thing, but nobody asked her for this lie and she was clearly doing it with an ulterior motive.

They are not dating at this point. If a man went up to a girl for the first time and feigned interest in one of her hobbies as a tactic to pursue them romantically that would still be creepy. Keep that energy here this is still something incredibly creepy and manipulative to do. It's literally just working to be someone's friend in the hopes that they'll chose to date you later which is super not okay and how people tend to friendzone themselves.

Then those same people have the audacity to get mad later like wait what do you mean you just want to be friends?! Like bitch exactly what I said I want to remain friends you are a friend to me- But I did all this in hopes you- Oh, oh okay well that's really fucked up I actually don't want to be friends either anymore please leave.

This is shit that really happens in adult relationships. People will pretend to be your friend and be interested in your hobbies, the movies you like, etc just in the hopes that you'll see how much you have in common and think ya know this is the individual for me I want to date this person.

However, it's manipulative, underhanded and tacky. I was being nice on Mahiru in the previous post that took into consideration the worst case scenario by not bringing this to attention. Because this is a thing that a lot of people have gone through universally. It would be so much easier to dislike her while taking into consideration she was doing something like this.

Simply because this shit is annoying, hurtful, disheartening, and can cause people to have severe trust issues where they'll go oh are you actually interested in this thing or are you trying to fuck me which is it because I'm not falling for this shit again.

Nobody asked Mahiru to feign interest in any of his hobbies. She went and did that all on her own. So, it's not up to him to be grateful to her for it in any way because at the end of the day he's the one being tricked. He didn't ask for this lie- Dude probably just said I like running I do it pretty frequently actually and then she went oh I've been interested in picking that up actually can you show me the ropes.

However, the fucking truth is- The truth that we know for certain is she wasn't interested in running she was interested in him.

We are told this from thirty-nine seconds in. We are told this before they even speak to one another for the first time. So, how does this work with the theory that she held resentments towards him?

Well, she resented him for not doing the one thing she wants anyone she loves to do,

Q.09 What do you want from a lover?

Mahiru: For them to accept my love! That’s all I ask for!

She could resent him just as much as she loved him because she put all this effort in, she didn't ask for much, but it didn't pay off. She put up this air of the mature onee-san, she took time out of her day to partake in his hobbies, she did all this and he still didn't love her the way she wanted. Yeah, people get resentful for that all the time- But, just because someone is nice to another person, just because they're in a romantic relationship with another person, just because they've known someone a long time does not mean that person owes them fucking anything more than they are willing to give. No means no always all the time!

No matter how much you believe you deserve a thing it means no! The fact that she boasts about begging this man to go to a place with her while heavily implying he'd already declined for his own reasons, and she continued to pester him until he conceded is a red flag in and of itself.

It's easy to highlight that Mahiru says,

Q.14 If there was one person you could bring back from the dead, who would you choose?

Mahiru: The person I love.

But it ignores other things she's said,

Q.08 Is there anything more painful than death?

Shidou: The death of someone you love.

Mahiru: No longer being able to love anyone.

Something that is only emphasized more through pairing it with Shidou's answer.

Q.07 Is there anyone you’d leave behind if you died?

Shidou: Not any more.

Mahiru: Nobody yet~

The information Milgram provides can be interpreted as being bad on both parties, not just him or just her for various reasons. It's like Shidou says in Throw Down,

"There are so many truths, as there are so many lives."

What seems to be the correct answer to one person very well could be incorrect to another. It's only true because we believe it to be.

All these theories, mine included, only showcase a facet of the sort of person Mahiru could be not the whole picture. Swinging between glamorization, flanderization, and vilification over and over. When the fact is there's no speculation that will ever outweigh the truth of the matter. There is no framing of the circumstance that will overshadow an objective truth.

Sadly or maybe luckily the truth of a situation is usually far more interesting than anyone expects.

#milgram #mahiru shiina

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leclercenjoyer · 6 months

Text

tagged by my beloved @ayceeofspades thank u 💖

tagging @wolfiemcwolferson @duquesademiel @river-ocean @gaslybottoms

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

11 (10 under my username and 1 on anon)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

30,363! my goal for the year was to hit 20k total so ive already smashed that

3. What fandoms do you write for?

f1 babyyyyy

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

something borrowed (my first fic which im genuinely quite proud of)

tip of the tongue (literally just pwp)

treat with care (girl brainrot)

no poor substitute (my a/b/o unwellness which was. shockingly well received)

helping hand (esteban hand propaganda)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i WANT TO but i always feel so awkward and i never know what to say 😭 i dont know how to adequately express my emotions so i just end up. never getting around to it and i feel BAD ABOUT IT

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

muscle memory... its like. my singular angsty fic. the ending is nice and hopeful right up until i shatter it with a hammer but it Had to be done. its simply how it is.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i think all the other ones!! possibly no poor substitute or treat with care because they both end on an "oh this is a New Relationship now" while something borrowed and tip of the tongue are both more like. we were already hooking up but i guess its serious now.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no and if i ever did i would cry forever

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

almost exclusively jdkjhdkjhs it is my Favored Terrain. i feel like my smut is. emotional and grounded? or at least thats what i hope.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no, not that im aware!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

non! but i would be delighted if anyone did.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no but i hope to one day!!!

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

i have been thinking about pierresteban literally non-stop for the past 14 calendar months i am so fucking sorry to everyone who knows me

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

my singular wip on ao3 is on anon and... i dont know if i'll ever finish it but i hope i will at some point. and as for unpublished wips... i have a lot. i dont know if ill ever get around to finishing most of them.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i have consulted the gang and i have been told that i am good at tying the physical and emotional together (which is something i do Deliberately try to do as much as i can) and that i am very meticulous with what words i choose to use to carry a mood

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

DIALOGUE GOOD GOD. every single bit of dialogue ive ever written has been like pulling teeth. the thing is i dont know how to talk like a human person and i dont know how human people talk so it is my worst nightmare. one of my eternal wips is one i started and got like 3k words into before realizing that the dialogue would have to do the heavy lifting for the rest of the fic and then i was like "oh god damn it im an idiot arent i". also sentence structure that isnt subject-verb-object. but im kind of leaning into it tbh.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

my honest to be honest opinion is just. write the dialogue in english and if you NEED to specify what language the character is speaking just be like "he says in [language]" UNLESS the pov character doesnt understand what theyre saying. literally simple as that.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

f1 baby!!! this is literally the first fandom that has broken through the barrier in my brain thats kept me from writing fic my entire life. not even amc's the terror 2018 could do that.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

honestly? something borrowed. it was the first fic i ever completed literally in my life and i have such a soft spot for it and people were so UNBELIEVABLY nice to me about it!!!!

#tag meme

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terminallybisexual · 1 year

Text

tw // suicide mention

i fucking hate the saying “happiness is a choice” especially when i heard it as a 12 year old struggling with depression for (what i believed to be) no reason

but now that i’m older i hate it for a completely different reason. i think i understand the message behind it now but it is so poorly worded and places so much blame on the person struggling with depression that when my 12 year old self heard it, it made me completely reject any ideas that emphasize how much your perspective and attitude affect your quality of life

like i would hear people talk about changing your attitude or whatever and be like “that’s fucking stupid. i have depression i can’t help the way i think.” but like. i could. but i didn’t understand that because the way it was always framed was “you are choosing to be depressed. just stop being depressed.”

every time i have a self deprecating thought now, i immediately counter it with the opposite even if i don’t believe it. (ex: “i hate myself. no, i love myself.”) and it can be incredibly exhausting to argue with yourself all the time, especially when these types of thoughts are so constant and persistent. it’s not easy. but this has improved my life so fucking much its not even funny. it’s gotten to the point where sometimes when i’m in situations that are embarrassing or otherwise would trigger self deprecating thoughts, my immediate reaction is self love.

i did not even understand the extent to which my self deprecating thoughts were diminishing my quality of life. i did not understand how much my own thoughts were negatively affecting my life because it was just so normal to me. i used to have suicidal thoughts more times than i could count on a daily basis and even though they weren’t “serious” (as in i was not going to immediately act on them like 99% of the time), countering these thoughts has brought me so much peace. i can go a full day without any suicidal thoughts now. hell, i’ve probably gone at least a few days in a row without suicidal thoughts. that idea was truly incomprehensible to me a year ago.

i genuinely did not believe it was possible for me to be this mentally healthy. like i still have a lot of fucking work to do but it’s insane how much my life has improved. i can’t even put it into fucking words and it might seem stupid to other people but i’ve had an extremely low self esteem for as long as i can remember. i didn’t even think it was possible for me to change my self deprecating thoughts because i just viewed them as objectively true.

like, throughout middle school and high school, i would have full blown mental breakdowns almost every single day. hysterically sobbing and telling myself that i can’t handle life and i should just die, just to take a deep breath 20 min to a few hours later and pull myself together again. recently i legitimately believed that i had a mood disorder because i had absolutely no emotional regulation skills and i was basically living with my worst bully 24/7.

and i mean it took me years to get to this point. i’ve been arguing with my negative thoughts for a long time now but i didn’t always do it in a healthy way (ex. telling myself that my feelings are irrational and invalid and that i’m crazy for having emotions bc thats what i was told my entire life, essentially gaslighting myself). but since i started therapy again i started countering my negative thoughts more consistently and in more productive/healthy ways. and there’s a lot of other things i did to improve my mental health too but i truly believe that changing my thought patterns is possibly the most important/impactful change ive made.

there’s a lot in my life to be stressed about at the moment and i truly believe that if i didn’t implement these tactics into my life i would legitimately be in an inpatient program right now because i just wouldn’t be able to handle everything going on. but now, at least for the majority of the time, i am at peace. i’m not necessarily happy, i am just okay. possibly for the first time ever. and i know sometimes i still have my moments where i talk about wanting to die but everything is just so much easier now. those moments are more fleeting and i’m more capable of reeling those thoughts in early and preventing myself from completely spiraling. it’s just so fucking insane to me how much better i’m doing and i don’t think anyone i know will understand the extent of it because i don’t think anyone truly understood how bad it was in the first place. but it’s okay, i don’t need anyone else to be proud of me. i am so fucking proud of myself.

#suicide tw #suicide ment #personal #vent #wow i wrote a lot lol oops #maybe del later #long post #mine

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nonclassyparty · 1 year

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from an objective point of view i do think san is a bad person. or at least was! having an explication for it doesn’t make up for the fact that he knowingly hurts people and manipulates them for his benefit. also, at what point do we stop calling it self sabotage when it includes hurting everyone around you in the process?

sure he has been clear with from the beginning that he doesn’t date. but he knew she loved him and chose to keep on hurting her and stringing her along for an entire year just so he could keep his “favorite girl” by his side, which she only was because she was the rich and unreachable pretty girl and he managed to have her wrapped around his finger. he watched her go through hell and he didn’t care, let her be insulted by yeosang on a daily basis and never once stood up for her while she took it and stayed quiet because she loved him so much. he called it friends with benefits but never took an interest in her on a personal level and basically treated her like a sextoy. obviously yn should’ve walked away at some point but i think san is also to blame. telling girls “i don’t date” at the beginning of the arrangement doesn’t opt you out of treating the girls you sleep with as human beings with feelings who deserve respect.

and then going back to her after he broke up with that girl because he knew she would just cave in and take him back, then acting like “well maybe i shouldn’t have c come to your house but you shouldn’t have let me in”.. like knew she would let you in and fuck you because you know she loved you and couldn’t resist

and what he did to yeosang was just so fucking sad. how can you call someone your best friend and then go and knowingly use their feelings so you can manipulate them and get what you want? i’m glad yeosang finally put his foot down and stopped talking to him. i think he told san that he wasn’t worth the effort it takes to love him? and as cruel as it may sound he was right… san needs to go to therapy and grow up. i understand he has daddy issues and that your trauma isn’t your fault but the way you treat people is still your responsibility

i really hope he’s coming back as a better person after these two years!

hhmmmmmmmmmmm those are all great points but they're from y/n's point of view and not an objective one 😭

he fucked up with yeosang (besides betraying y/n's trust and telling her secrets to his friends, thats his other fuck up imo). it was a horrible thing to do, there's no further explanations or defenses there. him betraying her trust in the end and using ys' feelings to his advantage at times are the worst things he did in this story but is he a bad person with no redemption possible for it? would that mean that people aren't allowed to fuck up? 😭

"sure he has been clear with from the beginning that he doesn’t date. but he knew she loved him and chose to keep on hurting her and stringing her along-" lets stop right thereee 😭 "he knew she loved him" and what? if yunho told y/n he had feelings for her while she considered sleeping with him just a fun silly little thing would that make her responsible for his feelings? no, bc they're both consenting adults who know what they agreed on. it sounds harsh but objectively, thats just the way things are. "choose to keep hurting her" when? if anything he was keeping his relationship with boyoung a secret from her bc he was trying to not hurt her and just let her down gently by ghosting her😭 even tho yn deserved to know the truth, he thought he was doing her a favor bc knowing u got dropped bc he actually decided to commit himself to another girl despite saying he doesnt date would hurt a lot more. "stringing her long" when? when did he ever genuinely give her hope that their relationship could grow into something more? "let her be insulted by yeosang" hmm yea that is shitty, even if he doesnt care about her it would've been nice to defend her bc hes the one that brought her to their table in the first place. "never took an interest in her on a personal level" bc friends with benefits is always just tiptoeing around what the relationship is actually about, which is SEX. they agree on being actual friends much later and after that they actually DO begin to learn about each other and with that his demeanor towards her begins to change.

when he's standing at her front door she literally says something like "if i told him to leave i know he would" because their relationship was never san trying to keep her tied to him but it was her latching onto HIM. a nice guy would've probably said "ok u have feelings for me which i dont reciprocate, lets end this bc u are hurting yourself" but san said it himself, he never deemed himself an honorable guy so in his head its like "even after telling u i wont ever love u and that u should've slammed the door in my face bc getting back together is a bad idea, you STILL want to fuck me?" that was on y/n. he's not the bad guy but just a guy thinking with his dick 😭 can he really be blamed for playing off of her decisions? it was always on y/n to decide when to finally let go of him and that was not something he could do for her because at one point she was so far up her delusions that even if he said "hey lets break this off" without boyoung in the picture, she still wouldn't have given up.

san will always be a bad guy if we look at him through y/n's eyes but if we detach ourselves from her feelings a little bit.......😭

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bbydollx36x · 1 year

Note

2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or bad, and why?

5: Where is one place you would never have sex:

6: The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when:

9: What is the fastest way to make you horny:

11: We were about to have sex but then

14: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you:

15: Two things you like [or dislike] about oral sex:

16: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:

18: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:

19: Who was the sexiest teacher you ever had?

21: How big is too big?

22: One sexual thing you would never do:

23: Biggest turn on?

25: Worst possible time to get horny:

31: Is it good sex if you don’t nut:

33: What your favorite part of your body?

34: Favorite foreplay activities:

37: When was the first time you masturbated?

41: Have/would you ever had a threesome?

42: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

43: Have/would you ever masturbate at work/school?

46: What is something nonsexual that makes you horny?

51: What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny?

53: Do you like giving head? (why/why not)

61: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?

63: How small is too small?

69: If you could give yourself head, would you?

70: Booty or Boobs?

74: If you were a stripper, what would your name be?

75: Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?)

76: How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed?

77: What was your reaction the first time you saw a penis/vagina?

Sorry for many o just really want know these

2~ it was good 🥰🥰 my bf never fails to please me 🥴

5~ a car or the shower, personally I think they're both overrated 👀

6~ i started my period in the middle of it and didn't know until he turned the lights on 😅 that was a mess

9~ neck, feet, im v touch sensitive 💕

11~ but then you told me you dont like game of thrones 😬😬 so I had to goooooo

14~ I was on my period and he called me his little ketchup packet :c

15~ like; the way cock feels in my mouth. Dislike; if someone has the audacity to not shower before and think imma suck it >:c

16~ a guy wanted to fist me 😅 tried and failed because I was too tight

18~ I fucking hate condoms 😭 never use them with my bfs. but, I do use them if it's not a commited sexual partner. Its annoying af, but id rather be safe💕

19~ my art teacher in college 🥴 one time he took me into the closet to show me his glow in the dark watch 😂 but being in a closed closet alone with him, it was killing me 🥺

21~ ive never had bigger than 8in 😅 but...id like too >,> I think id say 10~11in would be too big 👀

22~ scatt🙅‍♀️

23~ ive answered this one a few times😘

25~ when im at work 😅 alot of cute guys come thru my job and ill just be thinking dirty thoughts about them the whole time.

31~ if I dont nut thats just disrespectful:c

33~ my eyes🥰

34~ dry humping, making out/eating out, groping, body worship 🥴

37~ oh man 😅 toooo young when I found out how good humping my pillow felt

41~ I have💕 the first time it was me and 2 guys, the second was me and 2 girl friends x3

42~ my brush handle 👀 ive had sex toys since I was able to buy them so I never had to really get creative with it lol

43~ yes, ive masturbatdd at both 😉

46~ I talked about it in the ask before this one, but another thing I guess would be eye contact 💕

51~ when someone tries to just jump into sex without the foreplay 🙃

53~ yes, because I have an oral fixation🥰

61~ pornstar💕

63~ 2~3in.. but those are the kind of guys I want to humiliate 👀 not in a mean way. I just wanna tell them how cute and small it is 😘

69~ oh absolutely 😂

70~ both💕

74~ Lynn Vicious is my stage name x3 hehe

75~ I have 😅 i fucked in my dads bed when he was at work

76~ id have to burn my nice sheets :c lol

77~ the first time I saw it on porn, and I just remember not being able to look away and feeling all tingly to the point I had to play with myself 😅

Its okay💕 I always want asks and this is the most ive gotten in a while 🥰🥰🥰

#me #asks #anon

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no-shxme · 2 years

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if you feel like giving a stuck writer advice.... how do you get inspiration when head no work right or produce the right words

hey anon, sorry to hear about mush brain :C my advice is scattered but i'll list what helps for me. it's long because im verbose, i hope you dont mind. skip around or whatever (SOB)

something that might help is literally writing about that shitty writer's block feeling. i dont know about you but when i write i usually have to write towards something. usually i have a fragment of a sentence or scene that i want to get to, or just a mood, etc--as specific or unspecific as possible. Then its simply a matter of spewing enough words to get there. I'm not sure what you're trying to write (or maybe you dont have an idea, i'll get to that) but if you're looking to warm up and loosen some brain cells and you can't think of where to go with your words then you could always write about how your head-no-work. cause that's a very powerful and potent feeling in itself. i dont worry about a full scene or anything, just spitting some words on the page about how im feeling, or a character that's feeling the same thing, is often enough to spark more. i think too often people get stuck in their writer's block bc it understandably SUCKS, but there's often something to be explored there, in a good way.

sometimes to get inspiration or get out of a funk i have to really switch things up. i listen to new music or stuff that i haven't listened to in a loooong time. i'll read a book or a comic or ill go look at some pretty art and see if anything clicks. adding to that, a break can really help. a day or two or a week or whatever where you tell yourself that you're absolutely not allowed to write anything. a break! usually i can do that for a day or half a day and then i'll be good to go. (that's also because i write every single day so writing is very much a habit for me, which helps. if it takes longer then that's okay.)

opposite of this, sometimes i'm especially desperate to get something done so i just brute force it. i dont really believe in only doing something when inspiration strikes, (though inspiration is helpful and so are breaks) so sometimes i just throw up all over the page. the worst dogshit ive ever read. and that's ok, because at least it's on the page and not trapped in your brain. even if it's literally just a summary of what happens in the scene. you can always go back later and add more/flesh it out/etc.

back to idea generating. sometimes if im out of juice i literally just take something i already like (movie, book, trope, for example: indiana jones) then plug characters into it (ff or otherwise), and then just twist said material until it becomes its own thing. usually the characters will do that themselves. for example. if i inserted sett and talon into a jungle traversing indiana jones au i know just based on their characters that there'd be friction, so we'd already be looking at conflicted allies (since i want them to be allies). but then you ask, how would they even be allies in the first place? logically i decide that they must want the same single objective in order to work together in an uneasy alliance, even if i havent yet figured out what that objective is. that's a start. then i can begin thinking about that dynamic and how itd work and how i can still generate tension. thats how i end up with the idea of them handcuffed together, both fighting over the same objective even tho they both don't get along. that was a really long winded way of me saying that sometimes writing character focused stories/fanfiction can get you bogged up because it's hard to get your character to do something. it can feel like a slog. dunno if you're having that problem or not but sometimes i gotta take a step back and figure out if there's a better way for my character to do things. i try not to force anything and think about how a character would actually approach a situation and then a scene pretty much writes itself. for comparison, my train of thought for building scenes isn't "character Y is going to do xyz and abc." instead it's "these are my goals for character Y, now how do they GET there?" and designing the plot around that. which i guess doesn't' seem like that much of a difference but,, imo it's a big one. maybe that doesn't apply to you, in which case ignore it lksfdjjklfsd.

uhh i know i have other tidbits or crumbs or whatever but this is what i can think of off the top of my head. i know those mucky muddy brain times are such a struggle so maybe something here can help. just know that it'll pass, eventually! whether you take a break, brute force it, fight it, etc. everyone's different, don't be discouraged! and remember that even dogshit on a page is better than nothing. there's no rule saying you can't revise your own stuff 15 hundred bajillion times. good luck anon!

#shx answer #long post #i know i word vomit but i hope it helps dsfjkljkflsdajkflsd #or at least is useful in some way #AHHHGHH feel free to lemme know if something else works im curious okay

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thechaoticreader · 3 months

Text

I have to rant about Tender Is The Flesh!!

Last year I read Tender is The Flesh by Augustina Bazterrica and I haven't seen many people agree with me so if Booktok has been yelling at you to read it and you're tired of the vague positive reviews, this is for you!

*Disclaimer: this is all my opinion/feelings, if you loved this book I'm glad and if a negative review of a book you love will be upsetting please protect your peace and ignore me <3*

General Thoughts & Why I Hate It

Im going to start out by saying I am a vegetarian and used to be strictly vegan! The book is very heavy handed about its eating meat=bad beliefs which I found exhausting. At many times throughout the story I found myself shouting "OH MY GOD I GET IT!!! MEAT IS MURDER. JUST TELL ME THE STORY" into the void. It makes very weird parallels that I don't agree with and there was next to no room for nuanced discussion. It felt like the author was holding my hand and explaining absolutely everything, not letting me infer anything, which I personally don't enjoy. I will say its possible that because it is a translated novel that the above issues only apply to the English translation and that its a fault of the translator rather than Augustina.

Another issue I have is that to me none of the characters actually felt like fleshed out people, rather just objects things happen to/around. The main characters motivations make no sense (especially in the second half), where he doesn't even feel like a person, you don't really get to know him and then what little you do gets completely contradicted in the second half of the book. The main character at the beginning is almost unrecognizable from himself by the end. I can't even call it character development because it feels like he sees one shitty thing than a switch flips and he's completely different. Through the whole time reading, I did not feel any type of way towards any character, I didn't care about any of them which made it hard to care about the novel. When I first finished it I felt no type of way but the longer I've had to sit with it, the more I'm growing to dislike it. The worst part is that it could have been so good, with some more nuance and character development it would have been a very interesting story!

There is also a graphic sexual assault scene which I wish I had known about going in. As a surviver of S/A I try to stay away from novels with it unless I've had time to prepare and be in a good headspace to consume it. So a completely RANDOM S/A scene that doesn't matter to the plot really caught me off guard and almost immediately ruined the book. I'm fine with assault scenes if and only IF it is important to the plot/character development. My problem is when its thrown in to demonstrate a character being shitty or for shock value, which I feel is the reason it was included in Tender Is The Flesh; if you removed the whole chapter it would make absolutely no difference and THATS where I have the problem.

My Problem with BookTok & Advertising

First, booktokers and book tubers saying that its best to go into blind and not giving a trigger warning for S/A. I think its generally irresponsible to not give trigger warnings and to encourage people to go in knowing nothing, its so easy to say "hey this book has _" so that survivors aren't further harmed. This is a general criticism that I'll probably do another post going into further.

Second, people call it a horror novel when its really not, its a dystopian and while not a huge issue, it just sets up expectations that it doesn't live up to! It felt a lot more akin to books like the Handmaids Tale than those in the horror genre. So if you want a horror novel, probably don't pick this up but if you want a kinda disturbing, dark dystopian then maybe this will be your book! Accuracy in genre is important because there are tons of people who love one genres and hate other, like myself who eat, sleeps and breaths horror but has never found a proper dystopian that I even kinda enjoyed. Or, people who love romance and don't care about fantasy may like a romantacy but hate a fantasy with a small romance side plot.

Anyway those are my feelings, I hope it helps someone decide if they want to read it or not! Once again, if you disagree thats totally okay! If you loved the book, I'm so happy for you! My problems with it shouldn't detract from hour enjoyment of it!

#book blog #tender is the flesh #tender is the flesh hater #bookblr #book review #book rant #book criticism

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hopeididntscareyou · 1 year

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if i have the opportunity i would like to spend my day with the elderly and go to disneyland or wherever that would make them feel young again. it would really make me super happy. i always have a soft spot for older people. i like taking care of the elderly more than children. old people have so much wisdom. the fact that they lived for atleast five decades already earned my respect because i had always planned to die early. And to be completely honest, i’m sick of hanging out with people my own age. in my generation i feel like a lot of people are broken with trust issues, lacking self-awareness, principles and don’t know how to work through their issues. its been normalized to just block/delete and treat people like they are just objects to be thrown away and replaced. people act like ghosting is acceptable. in fact a lot of popular videos on youtube just teach people to become dismissive avoidants. They are forgetting that by being petty they also forget kindness, respect and compassion for others. Its like everybody's on defensive mode. i’m honestly so appalled by this culture and environment. i’m tired of all these mind games and narcissistic shit i have to play just to feel satisfied when dealing with them. It feels like chasing a high that is nonexistent, and the only happiness you could achieve is the society's standards, but not your own. In reality its just all a cycle of broken people doing broken things to each other. I am not really like that yknow? i have a big heart and a genuine love to share. it sucks not being able to be that person just because of petty reasons that don’t even matter.

actually, i just had that epiphany recently, as i’ve stumbled upon some disturbing movies i’ve seen before in my teens, which has been a very heavy process for me tbh, its like i was forced into extreme exposure response therapy, some of them were;

Women’s Flesh: My Red Guts -

Basically a hardcore self mutilation porn. Girl tortured and ate herself to death (literally) after her boyfriend broke up with her. Very gory, she even ate her insides. What the fuck. for me the disturbing part is the psychology of this person. like wow how much hatred you have in yourself to do this kind of shit and for the most pettiest reason. The fact that this movie was made is disturbing, there is no purpose in this movie other than to give fanservice to sickfucks who hates women and hates themselves. some people make jokes that she’s the ultimate girl boss, which is even more disturbing. i knew ppl who watch this are no good.

Tumbling Doll of Flesh: snuff porn, enough said. definitely not for beginners. and its japanese so its even more perverted. if you watch this be prepared to be insane for awhile. however at the time i’ve seen this i’ve already seen guinea pig series so it wasn’t as shocking to me as this is what i had expected

Angel's Melancholy - also known as the most disturbing movie of all time accdg to google results, i already made a review of this but its just basically a low quality material of all your disgusting fetishes. Mainly scat porn, urination, torture/rape involving colostomy, real animal abuse, bestiality, some other weird fetish, you name it. Faggots doing faggotry. The worst thing about this movie is how pretentious it is and trying to be philosophical in the worst possible way. This movie is nothing but a worthless and meaningless trash. An absolute waste of time.

August Mordum Underground: another disgusting nonsensical trash. Includes self performed penectomy (and having sex with the severed penis) disembowelment and having sex with some corpse’s intestines, incest, self harm, lots of rape, necrophilia, pedophilia, cannibalism, maggots, vomit fetish, etc. damn this movie was definitely a tryhard. This is the kind of movie you should watch if you're trying to lose weight. Trust me, I wasnt able to eat for days and ended up throwing up all foods i tried to eat.

Thats just a few of hundreds i’ve seen in my life and there’s no way I’m going to try to recount all my experiences with these movies.

I realized, i don’t want to watch disturbing shit anymore. Like why the hell would you want to watch these movies? This is heavy shit were talking about. You could get PTSD in these movies unless you are 100% nihilist and theres no humanity left in you. Or if you are a full blown misogynist, you would definitely like these movies. I’ve never enjoy these movies, especially now as an adult. Honestly its just some edgy hobby of mine as a teenager that used to be some kind of ‘endurance test’, with the added fact that i have morbid curiosity, i couldn't just stop. But everything I had to suffer through and how it impacted me mentally, I realized its just not worth it. I was addicted to brainstorming what these movies were trying to convey, but in reality most of these movies are really just nothing but meaningless porn for depraved, sickfucks to fap to. You think you would find some depth in these people just because they're twisted, but nope. They are just as shallow and braindead as normies. I basically wasted my energy trying to understand 'human psyche' that is absolutely worth nothing of value. And reading more about Marquis de Sade’s philosophy disappointed me even more, its just proven to me how stupid and retarded all of this is. Its just all broken people living their meaningless lives, slaves to superficial pleasure. I've never even a fan of Epicurus, his philosophy is a big delusional cope to his celibate and unmarried life and pleasure is good, suffering is bad analogy is so retarded. Life to me is not about chasing pleasure and I'm more than grateful that I've lived most of my life in pain and suffering because that honed the character that i have today.

Also, If i keep watching this sort of movies then what would that make me? Afterall, if I ever knew someone who has voluntarily watched this kind of stuff I would run away from this person VERY FAST. I don't even care if they just have morbid curiousity like I do. Some individuals out there are needed to be avoided at all cost before they even realize that watching is just not enough for them. I'm not going to participate in this sickfuckery anymore, I don’t even want to watch Terrifier 2 even its nothing as disturbing as my usual. I just don’t want anything to do with this. This recent experience of revisiting these films has been a wake up call to me, and again, its not just about changing my favorite genre of movie but also about changing other areas of my life such as my social life. I don't want to engage in this games that people play for social status and power. I've seen it all and I'm tired of it because i see it nothing more as a broken cycle of broken people just chasing a high. That is not my character at all. I reflected a lot these past few days and I realized, I can be authentic as I can be without corrupting my inner child and compromising my values

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waitimcomingtoo · 3 years

Text

The Hint

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!reader

Synopsis submitted by @jasmine11685: Peter gets jealous when you have to flirt with someone on a mission

Masterlist

“Wow.”

That was the only word Peter could say as you descended the staircase in a form fitting black dress. The slit up the side added an elegant touch, something needed for the ball you were going to.

“You look pretty “wow” yourself.” You smiled shyly as you lifted the hem of your dress to walk towards him. “The suit is a nice change from the flannels, though I do love those.”

Peter opened and closed his mouth a few times, but no words formed in his brain. As soon as you put your hands on his collar to tuck it under his suit jacket, his name was lost on his and all he knew was yours.

“So this is what it’s like to be speechless.” He chuckled nervously as you straightened his jacket.

“Shut up.” You giggled as your face flushed. “Your ties a little crooked.”

“Thanks.” Peter whispered as you adjusted his tie. “You look beautiful. Like, the kind of beautiful that makes you want to cry when you look at it.”

“Thank you.” You laughed again, out of habit. You looked at Peter through your eyelashes as your shaking hands slid down his jacket.

“Nervous?” He asked softly when he noticed your unsteady demeanor.

“A little.” You smiled weakly. “It’s uh, it’s a shame I’m gonna have to waste all this beautiful on some douche who won’t appreciate it.”

“Well I appreciate it.” Peter assured you. “All of it. What is your mission exactly?”

“I just have to get some information out of Harry Osborn. Apparently he’s the only one who knows what’s his father has been doing up at Oscorp. We have to find out his plans before he does something dangerous. Could you help me with this?” You asked as you handed him a diamond necklace. You turned around and Peter carefully moved your hair off of your back.

“Oh.” He said in surprise as he clasped the necklace around your neck. “And how are you planing on getting that information?”

“I’m gonna flirt with him like my life depends on it.” You said confidently as you turned back around. “Because who knows? It might.”

Peters face twitched in confusion as his eyebrows knit together. He felt a white hot jealousy run all the way to his scalp when he learned about the plan.

“You have to flirt with that asshole?” Peter laughed nervously and cleared his throat. “He’s a total playboy. He’s probably never done his own laundry a day in his life.”

“I think I can handle him.” You winked at him as you touched your your lipstick. “And his laundry.”

“I have no doubt in your abilities. I just wish you didn’t have to use them on him.” Peter said, mostly to himself.

“It’s fine, Pete.” You assured him. “I’m actually excited to do it.”

“Excited?” Peter began to sweat.

“Yeah.” You grinned in excitement. “This is the biggest role I’ve ever had in a mission. I really want to do a good job so I can impress my dad. That means I’m gonna have to pull out my best flirting.”

“Your best flirting?” Peter was really beginning to panic now.

“Yup. I need this boy to fall in love with me.” You told him. “Watch, by the end of the night, he’ll be putty in my hands.”

“I don’t think you should do this, Y/n.” Peter blurted. “I think we should get Natasha or someone else to do it. You shouldn’t have to be the shiny object we use to distract the enemy.”

“I’m fine with it, Pete. My dad didn’t give me this role because I’m pretty. He gave me this role because I have good communication and manipulation skills. Plus, I’m closest to Harry’s age. It all works out.”

“He could be really dangerous.” Peter protested. “You could get hurt.”

“I’m really dangerous.” You stated. “And he’s definitely gonna get hurt.”

“Just be careful, okay?” Peter sighed, making you look at him. You walked over to him and cupped his face in your hands, making his breath hitch in his throat.

“I got this, Petey.” You said gently. “I know you’re worried about me, but you have no reason to be. I can do this. And you, Sam, and my dad are gonna be listening the whole time. We’re gonna catch this guy. I know it.”

“I just don’t want you getting hurt. If things go wrong-“

“They won’t.” You cut him off. “Go ask my dad. He drew up every possible outcome of this plan and they all end with Harry getting his ass kicked.”

“Okay.” Peter nodded and gave you a smile. “I’ll go talk to Mr. Stark.”

“You just had to believe in her.” Peter grouched as he barged into Tony’s office. “You just had to recognize her talent and trust her enough to carry the mission.”

“I’m sorry. Is that anger directed towards moi?” Tony touched a hand to his chest. “Are you mad at me?”

“Yeah, I am.” Peter said. “You know I like Y/n and sent her off to flirt with the richest playboy in New York City?”

“Hey.” Tony said sternly. “Playboy is my thing.”

“Why did you have to make her do this job?” Peter whined. “She’s gonna fall in love with him and forget all about me.”

“He’s a criminal, Peter.” Tony reminded him.

“So? Girls love that!” He protested. “You remember how she acted around Loki.”

“Don’t remind me.” Tony rolled his eyes. Peters face shifted back to his forlorn expression and Tony saw how much this was hurting him.

“Look, kid, don’t sweat this mission.” He said as he put a hand on Peters shoulder. “She’s just gonna get the information she needs from Harry and you’ll never have to worry about him again. You can go right back to your little will-they-won’t-they bullshit or whatever it is you’re doing.”

“I have a plan.” Peter insisted. “And Harry is going to put a serious wrench in my plan, thanks to you.”

“You have a plan?” Tony doubted. “Ive been watching you pine after my daughter for years. When is this plan going into action exactly?”

“I’m just going to think really hard about how I’m in love with her and wait until she realizes.” Peter mumbled as he adverted his eyes.

“Yeah?” Tony cocked his head. “And how’s that going for you?”

“I think she’s just about to get the hint.” Peter said and Tony let out a groan.

“Kid, just ask her out.” He reasoned. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“She could hear me.” Peter stated. “And then say no.”

“She’s never gonna take the hint unless you actually give her the hint.” Tony reasoned. “Why don’t you try tonight? She’ll be all giddy from successfully completing the mission. Perfect time to confess those bottled up feelings.”

“I don’t know.” Peter sighed. “Maybe.”

An hour later, you were making eyes at Harry from the bar. After locking eyes a few times, you signaled for him to come over.

“Hey.” Harry knocked on the bar twice and looked down at you. He sized you up before smiling in approval and sending you a nod.

“Hey.” You gave him a sultry smile as he sat down.

“You all by yourself?” He asked as he drummed his fingers on the bar.

“I was.” You took a sip and looked at him through your lashes. “Until you came along.”

“Mind if I stay?” He raised an eyebrow as he flagged down the bartender. You made a face as he ordered a drink before smiling at him.

“I prefer it.” You flirted.

“Good.” He accepted his drink and took a long sip. “I don’t like being told no.”

“Then you better give me something to say yes to.” You leaned on your hand and leaned towards him. Inside, you were gagging at his arrogance. On the outside, you were eating it up.

And that made two of you.

“Oh God.” Peter gagged as he listened to the banter through his ear piece. “This is torture.”

Sam, who was standing next to him as they both kept an eye on you, gave Peter a look.

“Relax, kid.” He sighed. “She’s just doing her job.”

“You’re a pretty bold girl. I like that.” Harry cupped your chin before releasing it. “Just not as bold as me.”

“Oh yeah?” You raised an eyebrow, grabbed his drink, and downed the rest before slamming the glass down. “How about now?”

“Oh, you are going to get me into trouble.” Harry chuckled and he scooted closer to you. Peter watched in disdain as the jealousy coursed through his veins again.

“That doesn’t sound so bad.” You crawled. “Don’t you like trouble?”

“I love it.” He insisted as he held out his hand. “My names Harry Osborn. You’ve probably heard of me.”

“I have.” You smirked as you shook his hand. “I’m Y/n.”

“Why is she talking like that?” Peter whined upon hearing your flirty tone. “She never talks like that.”

“Because she’s not trying to sleep with you, dummy. Thats why.” Sam snorted as he continued to watch.

“What?” Peter snapped his head towards Sam. “She’s not trying to sleep with that guy. She’s just getting information out of him.”

“Yeah well, guys tend to talk a lot more once you’ve tired them out.” Sam shrugged as he sipped his own drink. Pete’s face fell as he stared Harry down with daggers in his eyes.

“She wouldn’t do that.” Peter mumbled.

“Shhh.” Sam waved his hand. “I’m trying to listen.”

“So,” you took another sip from your drink, “Whats it like being the son of one of the most powerful men in the city? Wasn’t your dad like, 25 when he founded Oscorp.”

“23, but who’s keeping score.” Harry shrugged as he looked around the room. “I’ll probably do something like that soon. Maybe something even bigger. I already have a lot of ideas. Pretty impressive, huh?”

“Totally.” You egged him on but rolled your eyes when he looked away. “Do you ever get to watch his experiments?”

“Baby, I’ve seen just about all of them.” Harry bragged as he played with your dangling earrings. “He’s done things you wouldn’t believe. Things that aren’t even legal.”

“Yeah?” Your eyes widened in excitement and you leaned in closer. “Like what?”

“I can’t tell you here.” Harry pulled away suddenly and sighed. “I don’t want anyone hearing.”

“Alright.” You purposefully took the bait. “Then let’s talk somewhere else.”

“Do you know a place?” He played nonchalant as he put a hand on your knee. Peter watched the scene in front of him and looked away.

“Yeah. My bedroom.” You smirked and stood up. “Let’s go there.”

“Bold.” Harry rubbed his hands together and stood up as well. “You’re dangerous.”

You took his hand and lead him towards the elevator, feeling the gun that was strapped to your thigh brush against your leg as you walked.

“You have no idea.” You mumbled. You passed Sam and Peter and gave them a nod as you lead Harry towards his interrogation. Peter looked like he was ready to fight someone and Sam looked entirely amused. You gave them a thumbs up before leading Harry upstairs.

“What’s the craziest thing your dad has done?” You asked as you sat down on the bed. You flicked your leg out and pretended to examine your heels to draw his attention. Harry took the bait and held your ankle in his hands, admiring the fancy shoes Mr. Stark had given you for the mission.

“Why do you want to know?” He asked coyly as he looked up at you.

“Because I like to get a little crazy myself and I want to know how much you can handle.” You shrugged as you shook your hair out. Peter gulped as he listened, feeling his jaw tighten in anger. Tony joined him and Sam at their post and looked around for you and Harry.

“How’s the mission going?” He asked when he didn’t see you anywhere.

“Horrible.” Peter grumbled.

“She didn’t get him to the secondary location?” Tony worried.

“She did.” Sam cut in. “Peters just mad that his girlfriend just found herself a boyfriend.”

“She’s not my girlfriend.” Peter snapped. “Maybe she would have been if Mr. Stark wasn’t a destroyer of young love.”

“Parker, quiet.” Sam commanded. “I’m trying to listen.”

“How do I know I can trust you?” Harry folded his arms as he looked down on you.

“You can trust me.” You told him as you reached up to grab his tie. You used it to pull yourself up and off the bed before planting a kiss right on his mouth.

“What was that?” Peter touched his fingertips to his ear piece when he heard silence from your end.” Why did she pause?”

“She didn’t pause.” Sam shook his head as he checked his watch.

“Then what-“

“She kissed him.” Tony cut in while giving Peter an apologetic look.

“She kissed him?” All the color drained from Peters face and Tony felt he was to blame.

“You know the Green Goblin?” Harry asked once you pulled away.

“Yeah.”

“That’s my dad.” Harry admitted, and Tony and Sam quickly wrote it down.

“No way.” You pretended to be impressed. “I don’t believe you.”

“It’s true. He was dying so he invented this serum to keep himself alive. It ended up giving him all these crazy abilities.” Harry boasted, incriminating himself further. “And he’s got this glider that he can fly around on. You’d love it. It’s very shiny.”

“Wow. I love shiny.” You gushed, fighting the urge to punch him in the throat then and there. “How much serum did he make?”

“He has one more vile that he said he’d give to me when I’m older.” Harry tweaked his eyebrow as he smirked.

“So you’re gonna be the next Green Goblin? Isnt he a bit of a bad guy?” You continued to draw information out of him as your fingers danced around his collar.

“Maybe I am bad guy.” Harry shrugged. “Like father, like son.”

Harry leaned in to kiss you again but you dodged it and laughed as you moved away.

“Bad, huh?” You composed yourself so you wouldn’t be suspicious. “What else has he done?”

“He gave one of our scientists these metal arms. They can rip a person in half. Ive seen it happen.” Harry continued to brag and you recorded every word of it.

“Dr. Occtavius.” Tony realized. “That’s how he got his weapons.”

“Thats crazy.” You gasped and played with his hair. “What’s your dad gonna do?”

“He’s basically forming a league of bad guys.” Harry shrugged like it was no big deal. “Guys way worse than the Avengers.”

“Does he have a problem with the Avengers?” You wondered.

“My dad hates them. I hate them too.” Harry scoffed and you held back a laugh. “That’s why we’re gonna wipe them out. New York can’t rely on a bunch of guys in dress up, and we’re gonna show them that.”

“How are you going to do that?”

“With an attack on New York City on the 8th.” Harry told you, and Tony immediately wrote it down. “The Avengers won’t know what hit them.”

“That sounds pretty scary. Will you keep me safe?” You batted your eyelashes at him and he ate it up.

“I can’t listen to this.” Peter took out his earpiece and slammed it on the counter. “I’m going in there.”

“Parker! Stay where you are and - you know what? I don’t care.” Sam shrugged it off and continued to listen to your conversation.

“Of course baby.” He cupped your face in his hands. “It’s gonna be a direct hit on the Avengers tower. A pretty thing like you won’t be anywhere near there.”

“Actually”, you took his hands off your face and dropped your smile, “I will.”

“What?” Harry’s face faltered at your sudden mood change.

“Did you get that guys?” You touched your fingers to your ear piece and waited for the confirmation. “Copy that, dad.”

“What?” Harry’s face twisted in anger. “You’re an Avenger?”

“Look at you! So smart. You figured it out.” You said sarcastically.

“No.” Harry shook his head. “I don’t believe you. There’s no way you’re an Avenger. You’re my age and a chick.”

“Not just an Avenger. I’m a Stark too. Want me to prove it to you?” You asked casually.

“How?” Harry raised an eyebrow. You gave him a swift punch to the throat that knocked him on his back.

“Like that.” You blew your hair off your forehead as you checked your nails.

“You bitch.” Harry wheezed from the floor.

“You see, I can’t have you and your father attacking my friends.” You crouched down beside him and shrugged. “I’m gonna have to take you in.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you.” Harry swiped at you but you dodged it.

“I know. But this cute little microphone recorded everything you said and sent it to the police.” You pouted and pointed to your mic. “They should be here soon. You might want to wipe the lipstick off your face before the get here.”

“I’m not going to prison.” Harry grumbled as he sat up.

“Aw, but you are.” You said as you pulled him off the floor and put his hands behind his back. “Daddy can’t bail you out of this one, like how he bailed you out of your 17 parking tickets.”

“How do you know about that?” Harry asked as he looked over his shoulder at you.

“I know everything, bitch.” You leaned into his ear to growl.

“No. I’m not going down for this.” Harry broke out of your hold and swung at you. You dodged the first one, but he got you right in the jaw with the second one. You stood up and got ready to fight him as he put his fists up.

“You’re not even that pretty.” He exclaimed as he swung at you again. Right as his fist collided with your face, Peter burst in the door.

“Yes she is!” Peter shouted as he jumped on Harry’s back. Harry threw Peter onto the bed and lunged for you again. You close-lined him with your arm and dug your heel into his back once he was on the ground.

“Peter? What are you doing here?” You asked as you stepped on Harry’s back harder with your heel. “I got this.”

“There’s something I have to tell you.” Peter panted as he got off the bed.

“You won’t get away with this. I will sue!” Harry writhed around beneath your heel.

“Can it wait?” You asked as you pulled Harry off the ground. “I’m a little busy.”

“It can’t wait.” Peter shook his head as you shoved Harry against the wall. “There’s something I’ve been holding in for a long time and I need to tell you.”

“I wouldn’t even bother dude.” Harry said with his face squished against the wall. “She’s a total bitch.”

“Was I talking to you?” Peter growled before shooting a web at Harry’s wrists to handcuff him.

“Ohhh I see.” Harry laughed humorlessly. “Spiderman is mad that I stole his girlfriend.”

“Can you shut up? I’m trying to have a conversation here.” You barked at Harry. “I’m sorry, Peter. Please continue.”

“I didn’t want you to flirt with Harry tonight because you can do a lot more than just sit still and look pretty.” Peter began.

“I know that, Peter.” You nodded.

“I also didn’t want you to flirt with him because I was jealous.” He confessed.

“Jealous?” You asked as you put Harry in the hotel chair and began to tie him up.

“He likes you, stupid.” Harry grumbled. You shot Harry and angry look, but when you looked back at Peter, he was nodded.

“He’s right.” Peter admitted , taking you by surprise.

“You like me?” You lips twitched into a smile as you tightened Harry’s rope. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I was scared you wouldn’t like me back. You’re my best friend, Y/n.” Peter said softly. “If you didn’t like me back, everything would change. We’d still be friends but it wouldn’t be the same. I didn’t want to risk that.”

“I’m sorry.” You frowned. “I should’ve been more clear then.”

“Do you seriously have to do this here?” Harry whined and you smacked him on the back of the head.

“Clear about what?” Peter wondered.

“That I like you too.” You smiled sheepishly at him. Tony listened to the confession over the ear pierce and smiled to himself.

“There you go kid.” He mumbled to himself. “She got the hint.”

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#peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #iron man #tom holland fluff #tom holland fanfiction #iron dad

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ectonurites · 3 years

Note

hey! how knowledgeable are you on stephanie brown? because i got in a bit of an argument with a dc fan on reddit who claims she's all these awful things, but im still relatively new to steph and i want to see what was true and what wasn't. link to screenie right here: https://ibb.co/vh6CYCJ

these may be matters of opinion, but even then, i'd like to know your take. i haven't read her firsthand often enough and i trust your judgement over this random redditor who seems to have some sort of blonde-woman related trauma left untapped.

I'm not necessarily the most knowledgable on her in the world, but I do know a decent amount because she's one of my absolute faves and I love her

But ohhhh boy that screenshot is a lot.

I will say that several of the things this person brings up are based in canon but are taken in the worst faith and framed in the way that makes her look as bad as possible, if that makes sense? It’s ripping things away from any context, because there's a very clear bias against her here.

I'll go through it point by point under the cut

First of all though before digging into this, I want to make it clear she was a 15 year old for the majority of the things this person is talking about. Like just pause for a second and remember she’s a 15 year old victim of abuse. That is something that I think factors into a lot of her behavior! Anyways, I kinda while doing this got into a ranty 'talking at you' format in response to the person who wrote all that, so don't take any of this as me yelling at you who asked the question/you anyone reading this.

"She always acted entitled" - Saying Steph is entitled is absolutely ridiculous to me. Stephanie grew up with a very unstable childhood due to her dad frequently being in prison and her mom dealing with a drug addiction, living in a lower class part of the city. Tim is entitled. I don’t mean that as like a bad thing about him, but he is based on his living situation, she is not. She has wanted life to be better for herself and her mom, and is determined about that, but she is not and does not act entitled.

(Secret Origins 80 Page Giant)

"and stubborn" - I will give you stubborn though, that one is true. She’s stubborn as hell! I don’t really see that as a bad thing though, pretty much every bat is stubborn?

"demanding that Batman and Robin accept her untrained ass" - Steph may have been untrained in fighting but she's shown to have exceptional gymnastics skills from the start, and at one point Bruce even says that with the right training she could be as good if not better than Tim (in Robin #88)! So like... her realizing she enjoys trying to be a hero after she tried it out to deal with her personal business, so she looks to the local experts… and is determined about it… how is that a bad thing? It’s also not like she walked up to them and said ‘im perfect as i am let me in’ what she wanted was a chance to be a hero. But she also wasn't even really looking for approval, either, not having Batman's blessing was never going to stop her. ("So excuse me if I don't jump when you bark, Batman." in Robin #16) Later when Bruce does bring her in to train (and she also gets to train with the BoP) she's excited! She’s stubborn about wanting to be in the hero business, but it’s not like she’s unwilling to work for it.

"advocating leaving criminals to die because they 'deserve it'" - She’s a 15 year old who grew up knowing firsthand how dangerous Gotham criminals can be because of her dad, of course off the bat when they’re in a dangerous situation where any of them could die (because that’s the context here, this is in Robin #35 where they’re trapped in some super dangerous snow) she thinks they shouldn’t go back for another criminal who just tried to kill them and should instead save themselves. But she also literally WITHIN THAT SAME ISSUE then says she realized she learned something after listening to Tim and trying to save the guy! In the same issue! Characters in a story aren’t supposed to be perfect from the start… they learn things along the way???

(Robin #35)

"trying to steal from the shops they just stopped from being burglarized" - She’s 15 and doesn’t have a ton of money. She was gonna take two sodas, and when Tim said not to do it she paid with very little fuss. They stopped people who were robbing the place at gunpoint for prescription drugs. If you can’t understand the difference in severity between those things like… I do not even know where to start. (this situation is in Robin #56 btw)

"forcing physical affection onto Tim despite his visible discomfort and repeated objections (not even stopping when he told her he had a girlfriend)" - This one I will give you because she did cross boundaries with all that! But I do also want to clarify that she didn't start coming onto him until after Tim kissed her first (in Robin #5) while not telling her he had a girlfriend. That doesn’t excuse her later actions but for the first issue that she’s coming onto him from her perspective he expressed interest and she was just returning it! She even specifically says 'Maybe I should pay you back for saving my life the same way you paid me' (in Robin #16) before kissing him. That first time she kissed him unprompted was under essentially the same circumstances he kissed her unprompted, and she literally did not know about Ariana until after the fact. From that point once she knew about Ari she definitely should have backed off and she didn’t, that’s a very fair thing to criticize about her as a character. But Tim lead her on first, and I feel a lot of people like to casually forget that when talking about this situation. The way this is phrased of ‘not even stopping when he told her-‘ implies she was repeatedly doing the bad behavior before he told her, which is not the case. She still did bad things here but don’t misrepresent the situation.

"And lashing out at Tim, her mother, and her classmates in violent fits of anger" - Every comic book character lashes out at other people for the sake of drama like, I dare you to come up with a well-known superhero character who hasn’t done shit like that to a partner/family/friends in a moment of high tension/stress?

"She treated the girls around her like they were stupid bitches" - frankly this ones a little too vague like, I'm not sure off the top of my head exactly what they're talking about? in that era right around her pregnancy and stuff I really don't recall her being mean with other girls? I could be forgetting something I guess but the closest I can think of is a bit after this period of time when she has the confrontation with Greta in Young Justice but that was Greta attacking her first, not the other way around.

"got insanely jealous if Tim so much as expressed concern about another girl" - Steph getting jealous and thinking Tim was cheating isn’t that crazy when STEPHANIE BASICALLY WAS THE OTHER GIRL DURING TIM’S LAST RELATIONSHIP? Tim has cheated a little bit before! Tim cheated on Ari with both Jubilee from Marvel (during a crossover thing where he even mentions Ari specifically so it’s not like this was out of continuity/a setting she wasn't an issue or something) and also with Steph. While most of the kissing between them was Steph coming onto Tim which I wouldn’t count as cheating on his end, he did still kiss her which I would count. Not to mention that the jealousy thing (I imagine they’re talking about the instance with Star, the girl who taught Tim to skateboard, this arc of stuff starts in Robin #80 and continues for a few issues) is happening during the time she’s dating him while she still doesn’t even know his real name. He literally has a whole other life she doesn’t know about, and is someone who has initiated romantic moments with other girls while in a relationship multiple times before! With that in mind I don’t think a 16 (she's def 16 by this point) year old girl being kinda paranoid about how he interacts with girls he might know in his civilian life is that unreasonable? The later big instance with jealousy is the Darla situation- where Steph sees Darla kiss him and gets mad about it (and doesn’t talk to him about it) and thats what prompts her to become Robin. The important thing to remember about Steph in this time frame is that DC decided she had to die and they wanted to make her Robin first to drum up more attention for that death. They were doing ooc things with her to set those pieces in motion, and that needs to be taken into account. I think her getting upset about seeing something like that isn’t even ooc, but her using it as motivation to become Robin and not even saying anything to him about it is. In the earlier instance where she’s upset/jealous about Star, she does communicate to him what’s going on at least a little bit on the rooftop after they’d saved her. She makes it clear the thing she was upset about is that she feels like she can’t trust him because she doesn’t really know him while he knows everything about her, and that’s why she thinks he’s cheating. Her reaction to the Darla thing is not in line with how earlier in canon Steph would have handled the same situation, because they wanted her to die and needed a way to explain her becoming Robin.

"and expressed that jealousy by accusing him of cheating and throwing things at him" - I just addressed the cheating stuff but the throwing things was fucking slapstick oh my god this is a comic book for kids/teens like. ah yes this is horrible abuse in this little funny montage of how Steph wants him to leave her alone because she’s mad at him and he refuses to give her space

(Robin #82)

I don’t think anyone at DC or even in fandom would/should try to argue she’s perfect, because she’s not! And I don’t want her to be because perfect characters are boring. Steph is flawed, Steph has been compared in canon to Robin-era Jason by Cass & Bruce

(Detective Comics #790)

And I think these highlight some of her very real flaws that are an interesting part of her character. These plus her stubbornness and determination are part of what makes her her.

And for fuck's sake the world was mean to her, and to act like it wasn’t is just blatantly ignoring a lot. A criminal father who made her life really difficult (‘when my dad was mad at me he’d lock me in the closet!’), that time she got kidnapped for two weeks and her mom had left her (a 15 year old) alone at home so long she didn't even find out it happened (in text Steph says Crystal was visiting friends, a lot of people interpret that as her mom possibly being in rehab for her addictions again), that whole thing about how one of her dad’s friends tried to sexually assault her as a child, also just how due to her dad's work sometimes criminals would be living in their house (Literally the fucking Riddler at one point!), the fact that we as an audience watched her get tortured for several days because a plan she tried to enact to prove herself backfired since Batman didn’t trust her with important information (something Selina even calls him out on in her internal narration), like… sorry but in what way is all that not the world being mean to her?

She was Robin, she dated Robin, she likes Eggplant (because purple would've looked stupid), and makes jokes. She’s also impulsive, headstrong and determined, and wants to prove to herself and others that she can be more than just the daughter of a shitty criminal, that she can actually be a force to do good in the world.

She’s a complex character, and nobody is required to like her, but to act like she doesn’t have a single redeeming trait is ridiculous. You could write a paragraph like that with the worst moments of basically any character and make them look like shit if that's what you were setting out to do.

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thisdreamplace · 3 years

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ashamed to say the 3D reflects our true inner reality, yes? my ENTIRE family has turned against me, after some atrocious conflicts in which they all ganged up on me nd judged me, name-calling, very hurtful things too, provoked me. i been dealing with some serious mental uh 'issues' on my own nd when this happend i was already on the verge of a breakdown nd the good news is while the conflict happened i kept telling myself theyre only reflecting me u can get thru it etc. Later i looked at the hard facts nd realised some of the hurtful things they said were my deep secret feelings abt myself. BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people? confronting one person vs whole family, why?! i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?

Part 2 is simply its been a week and theyve still been cold towards me as if I yelled AT THEM ABT THEIR PAINFUL 'tRuThS' in front of EVERYONE LMAOOO. At first if i was around we'd have dinner together while they'd all talk to each other like best friends aka sickeningly overly friendly while completely IGNORING me while i sat there. i could tolerate it. I WAS PISSED AT THEM TOO Now its too painful. They're having dinner without telling me, yesterday didnt leave enough food for me knowing i hadnt eaten, serve tea/snacks without my portion. i honestly feel so unspeakably trigered nd sad. worst is these things r reminding me of deep school memories when id feel excluded like this by other kids at parties or class activities nd its like im back there. anyway im glad i controled myself a bit nd didnt counter with horrid things abt them to THEM yet they think they can say the same to me. im so hurt rn i cant even tell u lol i was okay the whole week but now its too much,, ive been crying the whole day

thing is, ik this seems like 'im a victim oh noooo they ganged up on meee'. Nope its more like how do i change myself to change them?! u could say why not talk to them how they made u feel, except whenever ive defended myself in the past regarding hurtful things they/anyone in family did, the siblings/parents would say irritating things like: "oh so YOU'RE the one hurt? Oh thats right, its because YOU'RE right! yes, yes, you're always right. Forgive me for saying anything against the perfect person u are." Or one of them says: "You?! I hurt YOU? What about me? You don't care about me! So you think what ur doing is okay?" or "no, who do YOU think u are to tell ME what to do?" it just goes in circles like this! i dont deserve to hurt myself or do smth to myself even if they dont give a damn, even if years of silent suffering of the 'mEntAL pRoBlEms' (which my lovely parents have already told me is my fault years ago, hence why I NEVER show it to them, unless im crying too much then lol they just mock me, but idc abt THAT bcoz now ik i hav a right to let out my emotions)). i mean this is worse rjan usual. its kinda insane nd when guests come they start talking to me as if nothing's wrong then when they leave, they ignore me!

this whole twisted dynamics, feelijf left out nd helpless is ig some crazy assumptin from childhood of being alone nd unable to defend myself. plus when they argye with anyone, they become overly self-righteous nd over the years its clear they can only scream, blame the scapegoat and never talk abt serious matter like normal ppl. And yes, in the past when i bring this up, they like to reply with stuff like: "no YOU'RE the one who doesnt talk to US bla bla" like, when i do u just shut me down? have belittled my mental 'issues', mocked me when im at my worst, stabbed me with cruel silent treatments nd thinking its alright "bcoz of self-righteousness blegh". Or maybe i think its okay for them to punish me? or whatev? Like law says u get what u r. if these ~~~ keep doing this to me, im doubly ashamed to say this means im the one at fault?! i let this monster assunptin grow nd now idk what to do. the worst thing imo is how i failed to tell them,even if they ignored me in the past, how i feel when anything like this or a conflict happens nd none of them stand up for me, or at least are neutral to me. bcoz now if i do, they say nope, u dont care what we do, YOUR the shameless one :! so yeah they hav the advantage of 'numbwrs' while im too afraid to stand up for myself lol. btw they never apologize nd i suspect they expect ME to apologize to TYEM bcoz everything's already ruined bcoz of 'me'..... i give up on them, i really do, but my heart hurts. Either i harden my heart, nd save up to move out, OR i try to change my self or whatev assumptins i have. But how do i do that? i try afirming: "my familys so nice to me, im respected by them" but it feels so fake tears literally enter my eyes lol

firstly i want to say, thank you for coming here to vent and being open about your feelings. it’s so important sometimes to just let it all out, without holding back. so that way you can move forward more bravely, to create the life you truly want to experience. that being said, i am going to be completely honest with you here in hopes that perhaps it may inspire you and you will be ready to do what is needed for the life you truly want to experience.

“BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people?” -> “i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?” here is your question, and here is your answer. i think that being completely honest when venting your feelings can actually be so helpful, because if you read back what you have said, you will be able to clearly find the patterns that are creating your personal hell. FEELING IS THE SECRET. ASSUMPTIONS HARDEN INTO FACT. the true way you feel, becomes your experience. Feelings/assumptions/beliefs come first, and the experiences come second to confirm them. That’s all that’s happening here.

i am glad that you were able to keep your reactions to a minimum! that's wonderful and as many of us know, it can sometimes be hard to do in such hurtful circumstances. but you managed to do it, this shows just a small glimpse of the power you truly hold within. although emotionally you may feel out of control, there is still the choice to choose better for yourself which you demonstrated through your reaction to them. good for you!

the truth is, you acknowledge the victim mindset to seem like you’re not engulfed in it, but no, you’re still very clearly engulfed in it. as i have said before, you can’t be a VICTOR and feel bad about it. feeling bad about taking responsibility, about everyone is you pushed out, about any of these types of concepts automatically shows a victim mindset. talking to them won’t do anything, because there are no second causes. you could talk to them nicely, you could be the nicest person in the world. but you can’t pretend your way out of your inner world. your inner world is the one and only cause of your experiences. until you change the story you tell yourself, they will stay the same. this is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. and it can feel heavily, because it’s ultimately only you’re choice. they can’t change until you do. the heaviness of the situation may make it seem impossible to turn around, but that’s just an illusion. your emotional attachment to the situation makes it seem so real and hard to change, but no. that’s just an illusion too. however, it’s ultimately your choice. Do you want to take responsibility for your life, or do you want to keep being tossed around like your lost at sea, victim to the merciless angry waves? Because we always have a choice. No one chooses your inner world, you do. No one can go into your mind and decide things for you, that’s only your job.

you can harden your heart, but who would be the one who suffers more? It won’t be your family, i can assure you. it’ll only be you. by doing that, you keep that old story alive and therefore you keep experiencing it. you keep those stories alive that are desperately showing themselves to you, saying “LET US GO.” but you remain identified with those painful stories, so you grip onto them tight. you keep on thinking of possible reasons for their behavior, but you could just read your entire ask back to yourself and you’ll see every reason. your reactions, your beliefs about them, your emotional pain. its your refusal to let those things go, and focus on what you truly want that keeps you in this state and keeps them in this state. sure it’s painful to face the responsibility at first, but it’s not a blame game. thinking its about blame is just a misunderstanding of the teachings. it’s not about they’re so perfect and you’re so not, so you have to change your ways. it’s about this is how life works here. this is about... you can ONLY ever experience self. whatever is going on within, will be reflected in your outer world. it’s about how they can’t change, UNTIL YOU DO. so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you have to decide to give yourself the gift of a wonderful life because you have that power too. you stop deciding they can be in control of your experience, and you decide your experience yourself.

to change your assumptions, stop trying to affirm over them and actually face what’s keeping you from believing in your desires. yeah, it’s going to be painful and uncomfortable. but you need to face the pain that you’re running away from, so that it can finally be released. you have to realize, it only stayed true because you believed it to be true. and if you are to live a life free from that story, and experience a more desirable story, then you must let the pain go. give yourself love and grace as you work through it, and know that there is a more beautiful side of life that awaits for you to accept it in.

No One To Change But Self

There is Nothing to Forgive

How to Sit with Your Triggers

give yourself the time you need, it's not race. the love that you wish to experience exists, allow it in. 💖

#eiypo

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