#and jesus christ i know ive said it before but im not gonna take your argument seriously if it just circles back to another type of bigotry | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

slamminslamminmcgill · 11 months

Text

@narc69 submitted

hi ok first of all 1) i am so sorry if this is badly written, i started writing and then came to 3 hours later and this was on my page.

2) trigger warnings! intoxication, dubious consent (just to be safe im gonna mark this down as cnc), implied somno, dacryphilia, probably also degradation? just- please take care of yourself and i genuinely sincerely apologize if this is out of line at all. add any other triggers you feel necessary. you can absolutely respond to this privately if you feel more comfortable

3) i don’t speak spanish, google translate is my bitch. mea culpa if the spanish isn’t properly written

—

HI HI HI THANKS SO FUCKING MUCH FOR THIS I LOVE YOU THIS IS AMAZING IVE BEEN ROTATING THIS IN MY MIND OVER AND OVER AGAIN I WILL KILL AND DIE FOR YOU AT YOUR COMMAND 🥺🖤🥺🖤

you didn’t wanna sound like some 50s suburban white guy, but jesus christ, that was a long fucking day.

your body ached, and all you really wanted to do was get high and go to bed, and you didn’t waste any time getting those things done.

you changed out of your work clothes and grabbed the joint you’d been keeping in your desk drawer.

there were also pills you’d been saving in the bathroom cabinet and you decided this was a good a time as any to take them.

anything so long as it didn’t mean having to think.

it was cathartic how the anxiety and tension in your shoulders melted away. the smoke from the joint smelled like citrus and pine and you held it in your lungs before breathing out eloquently.

it was quiet; only a few cars drove by your apartment complex. crickets chirped somewhere in the background but your head had already began buzzing and you didn’t pay much attention to it. it was nice, the quiet. so much more manageable that being around people all day, the noises of corporate work echoing in your head, like some sort of fucked up lullaby that refused to be quelled.

a patio door shoved open.

glancing up, you saw lalo salamanca looking down at you from his third floor balcony. you knew him well enough. well enough to know that he was renting his apartment temporarily after finding himself in albuquerque on a “business trip”, anyways. he was nice too. he let you into the building once when you were too drunk to find your keys, and made good conversation when you ran into him in the halls.

“hey chico, are you smoking?” he called down. you glanced up, scrunching your nose.

“yeah. what’s it to you?”

“you’re smoking and you don’t invite me?"

"ok well- no one’s stopping you.” you called back up to him. he stared at you for a second, completely silent, then:

“don’t go anywhere."

a minute later, the front door of the building opened and lalo came walking out. you were visibly already on another planet and lalo couldn’t help but laugh.

”oh, cosita ingenua.(oh, you naive little thing.)“ he said.

"what?” you asked him, not understanding a lick of spanish.

“don’t worry about it. hey- gimme that,” lalo said, taking to joint from your fingers and taking a long drag. you watched him through a haze of brain fog and fatigue.

“i didn’t know you smoked,” he said. you took the joint back and took your own turn.

“right back atcha,” you mumbled. lalo watched you, his eyes flickering across your face and hands. for a very brief second, you wondered what he was thinking, but it was almost immediately overshadowed by the buzz still going strong in your head. you zoned out, staring at the ground, head completely empty.

the joint fell from your hand and landed unceremoniously on the ground.

“awe man…” you pouted, picking it up. it had gone out and you fumbled with your lighter, struggling to light it again.

lalo hadn’t moved this entire time, and was still watching you failing to light the joint.

“jesus christ, chico, come here,” he said, taking the joint from you and lighting it himself. “mouth. open. now.” he told you once it was lit properly again. lalo took a lung-full breath of smoke and before you had any say in the matter, he was cupping your face and shotgunning the smoke into your mouth.

he was so close you could smell him, and he smelled painfully good. like palo santo, and cooking spices, and teakwood. you were almost upset when he pulled back again.

“woah.” was all that came out of you as a reply.

“you liked that, didn’t you?” he asked, and all you could do was nod. he stepped closer, almost staring you down. “you want me to do it again?"

without thinking, you nodded.

just like the first time, he took a long drag and blew the smoke into your mouth. only this time, he didn’t cup your face. he laced it through your hair and pulled just gently enough for you to let out the most innocent little whine.

lalo laughed, having elicited the exact response he was hoping for. he pulled you in for a hug, enveloping you in darkness. his hand was on the back of your head, and it was cold. his fingers trailed along your neck, rubbing up and down and made you feel funny.

"i think you’ve had enough,” he whispered into your ear, apparently making all the decisions for you now. lalo carefully put out the joint and put it back in the plastic bag you’d been keeping it in, and he slipped it back into your pocket. “how about i walk you back to your apartment.”

there was a confused frown etched into your brow and you subconsciously had one hand on the side of the wall to steady yourself. thoughts were blending into one another, and the world had become an incoherent haze. but you felt good. this is what you’d been hoping for- what the whole week had been building up to.

“maldito, chiquito, how low is your tolerance?” he snickered, walking beside you towards the elevator.

“not super low. took some pills too.” you told him, pushing the button that summoned the elevator. there wasn’t a braincell coherent enough in your mind to figure out why that was so funny to lalo. lalo was too busy laughing at how easy this was going for him.

“and you didn’t think to share those either?"

"i didn’t know you were as fucked up as me."

the elevator doors closed and lalo turned to you. he laced his fingers through your hair and tugged again, a little harder this time, but still receiving the same little whine as last time. he didn’t let go, keeping his hands where they were.

"you really like that, don’t you?” he asked, staring at you again. his eyes had a sort of weird glint in them, and it made you nervous, but curious at the same time. you wanted more and no part of your brain was awake enough to think about it rationally for more than half a second.

“yeah.” you whimpered.

you stopped on the third floor.

“hey, i live on the-”

“-fifth floor, i know, chico, we’re gonna stop at my place for a second.” lalo said. you sighed, tiredly, your mind already a million miles past the hair pulling. still, physically you felt different. not more awake, god no, but…warm? was that right? warmer?

you blinked and looked up when you felt someone take your hand off the wall and hold it in his own. lalo was still next to you, holding you close.

“i’m gonna take good care of you tonight.”

his apartment wasn’t nearly as dressed up as yours was. simple furniture, a rug, a tv, but nothing hanging off the walls, no books, nothing special.

“sorry it’s so dull chiquito, you should see my house down in Mexico, it’s way nicer than this shitty place.”

“you live in mexico?” you asked, high out of your mind.

“si. correcto, coñejito. so smart.” he said, tapping your cheek. somewhere in the depths of your consciousness you knew he was being condescending, but it translated to something very different when it finally rung through your brain. laughter bubbled up from your chest and you pressed your head into lalo’s chest again.

lalo didn’t waste any time and took his chance when it stared him right in the face. his hands held your head so he could control which direction he wanted your face to point. gripping your hair he moved your head so that your jaw was pointing out to him and he kissed down your neck like a fictional vampire going in for the kill. giggling, you wrapped your arms around his back.

“vamos a llevarte a la cama, huh? let’s get you to bed baby boy.” he whispered into your ears, guiding you to the bedroom.

his bed was the most comfortable thing you’d ever lain on, certainly more than your own.

“i thought you didn’t sleep?” you mumbled. he’d said that one. you remembered. he did. you swore…

“yeah but…” lalo replied, shutting the door behind him, “you can use a bed for more than just sleeping."

finally- finally something clicked in your brain.

"let’s get these off. you don’t wanna sleep in jeans now, do you?” he said, climbing on top of you, virtually pinning you down, undoing your belt buckle.

he felt heavy on top of you, but it felt good. you made a noise- something else incoherent, and let yourself sink into the mattress.

“that’s it, just relax. just relax, coñejito. i’ll take care of you.” lalo said, his fingers slipping under the band of your underwear. his thumb brushed along your pelvic bone and you whined.

clumsily, you reached out to grab lalo’s wrist.

“wait…” you mumbled, the embers of some sort of fear sparked in your chest. your boxers were already halfway down. “wait, seriously-”

“yes, chiquito?” he asked, still inching your underwear off.

“ ’m trans- i- bro i don’t have a dick.” you told him, the most coherent thing to come out of your mouth in the last hour.

lalo slid your boxers off and threw them on the ground. he spread your legs, looming over you. he laughed at your statement, and you still couldn’t figure out why it was so funny to him.

you felt something cold part your lips and his thumb, barely touching you, teasing you, rubbed circles into you. you groaned, pushing your head back into the pillows.

“this looks like a dick to me.” he said, pressing harder onto it. you couldn’t help but moan louder, reveling in how good it felt. his fingers found their way into your hole and you gasped, instinctively closing your knees. lalo shoved them open and you felt a harsh slap across your face.

“hey! you keep your legs open for me. understand?” he asked, his voice suddenly serious.

“okay.” you whimpered.

“next time i won’t just hit you across the face, chiquito. you listen to me.” lalo said, working his fingers back into you. “i see you’re already nice and soaked for me. i guess you’re capable of doing that at least."

he kept touching and feeling you, pushing his fingers inside of you until you couldn’t hold on anymore. you came all over his hand and liquid dripped off his wrist and…lalo looked furious.

"im sorry.” you whined, shaking, “i’m sorry i just…"

"keep your legs open.” lalo said, his voice dangerously soft. you obeyed, and yelped when he did exactly as he warned early. a wet smack landed hard against your dick. it was swollen and hard and so, so sensitive and you cried out again, and again as he slapped you until he’d decided you’d learned your lesson.

“you’re mine, and you do as i say. you cum when i tell you to. not before, not after, understand?” he repeated,

“yes- yes lalo.” you nodded.

“good.” he smiled, undoing his own belt buckle. “you can be as loud as you want- let the neighbours know how much of a whore you are, just as long as you do as i say."

his pants dropped to the ground, and wrapping one hand around your throat, he remained punctual and wasted no time pressing himself into you. your back arched and your hands rushed to grab his shoulders once more. you gasped and moaned, not a thought in your head.

"bet that weed’s really getting to you now, isn’t it, baby boy? or those pills you kept talking about? i bet they’re really making their rounds now. get yourself all loosened up, let some random guy two floors down from you blow smoke into your mouth, let him lead you into his apartment, and you call me fucked up? hm? is that how it is?” he asked, fucking himself into you with no hesitation or plans to slow down.

“lalo…” you groaned, gripping the sheets. you couldn’t even process what he was saying, just that whatever he was doing felt good and you didn’t want it to stop. your high only amplified everything.

“yeah baby boy? what is it cariño. does it feel good to be fucked by a guy you barely know?"

"yes, god yes.” you moaned. your dick pulsed between your legs and lalo took his free hand to it, rubbing his thumb up and down it, using your own cum as lube. “get comfortable baby, we’re gonna be here for a while.”

you lost track of time far too easily. everything swirled in your head like one big cloudy haze. you fell asleep at one point, and woke up a little while later covered in spit and cum, with lalo sucking you off, swirling his tongue around your cock.

you think it’s somewhere around three in the morning when lalo finally gives you permission to cum again. everything felt heightened and hot, and your pulsing hole was sore and wet and still full of lalo’s dick.

“you can let go for me, cariño, i know you have to, you can let go.” he said, and fresh tears came into your eyes at hearing him tell you to cum.

“please- it’s- lalo-” you slurred. you’d essentially become his fuck puppy for the night. brain completely empty, lalo tearing orgasm after orgasm out of you, until you were nothing but a shaking wet puddle. you didn’t even remember your shirt coming off, but there you were, abdomen covered in lalo’s cum.

“oh perrito, is it too much? are you gonna start to cry again? are you gonna cry like the whore you are?” he asked with mock sympathy. he slapped you across the face again and kept thrusting into you, or rather- gripping you by your hips and moving you up and down on his cock like some fuck toy you’d buy at a sex store. “i said cum, so you’d better fucking cum.”

his hand was on your dick once more, rapidly rubbing it back and forth. all you could do was scream.

“there you go, slut, be loud. be as loud as you fucking can.” lalo growled, unrelenting.

“please, please, please,” you moaned, sobbing, though the words meant nothing. “oh fuck- fuck."

"there you, come for me. come for me now.”

your body obeyed and you clenched the sheets so hard your knuckles turned white. your moan was the prettiest sound that had ever echoed through lalo salamanca’s bedroom.

“good boy! bien hecho. oh my sweet baby- fuck-” lalo praised, unable to hold it in himself any longer either. he pulled out, shooting onto your face and into your open mouth. “dios mio, nene. that was the best fuck i’ve had in a while.” he groaned, letting the last little bit dribble onto your lips, and like the good little boy you were you reached your head up and sucked off his tip.

he got off the bed and left the room, leaving you in your own mess. there was a small, wet puddle by your hole, where all the cum had leaked out. you twitched through the last of the aftershocks, and sobbed, feeling so exhausted- so tired.

lalo came back a few minutes later with a damp cloth in one hand and a glass of water in the other. carefully, he picked you up and held you close.

“shhh-shhh. it’s okay. it’s over now. you did so good baby boy. let me look at you?” he asked, his voice gentle again. you looked over like he asked and found him caressing your cheek, wiping your tears with the pad of his thumb.

“oh baby, you’re still high, aren’t you? are you okay?” he asked, grinning and laughing a little. you smiled through your tears and nodded.

“come here, let’s clean this mess off you.” lalo said, gently washing your face with the cloth, laying you down on the bed one more time, cleaning up your chest and your thighs.

“such a good boy.” he hummed, picking you back up. “lets get you some clean underwear, and we’ll worry about the rest tomorrow. ok cariño?”

“okay.” you mumbled quietly, your throat sore from screaming all night. lalo pressed a kiss to your temple.

“my good boy."

#submission #narc69 #lalo salamanca #lalo salamanca x reader #lalo salamanca headcanons #lalo salamanca imagine #lalo salamanca smut #lalo salamanca hcs #better call saul #bcs #bcs x reader #better call saul x reader #better call saul headcanons #better call saul imagine #better call saul smut #better call saul hcs #cnc tw #intox kink #somno tw

42 notes · View notes

dannywashere · 9 months

Note

“I am become baba, destroyer of worlds - baba is you” on the R4nboovods channel

2:07:16 He groans then talks some then he starts whining while he’s talking

2:10:00 they say please like 5 times

2:13:00 moaning and stuttering and making sobbing like sounds for like a full minute idk how to describe it lmao (he makes some goofy sounding moans on purpose too which was funny)

2:15:03 “*gasp* oooh! Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh!”

2:15:47 stuttering gasps and then breathes in sharply then basically moans while they say “hold on”

2:16:00 someone donates mentioning the weird noises and he does the yelling help bit in like weird groans

2:17:15 “there we go~” 🤭

2:28:20 cmon that was just a whole moan on purpose outta nowhere

I tried lmao but u gotta be as delusional as me to see it the same and ik I missed some stuff this is just the parts I was talking about

(Also that thing u said about purposely doing stuff like that in a stream a bit ago there’s a clip where they say something kinda high pitched then go “what was that? I’m gonna be honest I need to straighten out. Otherwise I’m gonna loose the people that like to listen to my voice.”)

Also I might be sending this to the wrong blog but I can’t check without deleting all this so if am ignore it lol also ignore if it sends off on anon I’ve been having that problem

THIS IS THE RIGHT BLOG DW!!

okay the first one is already so 🤭 like the groan first of all like omg give us facecam puhlease bc we know you leaned back in your chair and groaned.

2. OKAY LIKE IVE SAID IN THE PAST: he knows that he has to ask, beg, for what he wants and he knows what his fans want SPECIFICALLY THIS SIDE OF HIS FANS BC PLEASSNSM???/?// and I’m the right person to come to when someone starts to beg, by someone I mean Ranboo. Send me clips of Ranboo begging if any of you have them.

3. OKAY OMGWISHJSNS WE’RE ALREADY INTO THIS ONE FIRST SECOND JESUS CHRIST. So he does a little gasp before saying “level 9” and says it all in a whiney voice like pleaseee. Okay he just moaned like I need to calm down. Okay tell me he’s not moaning and playing it off like a joke like JEEZ that is what it sounds like and it’s been done before. But yes anon they are very silly with context 🤭 OKAY HERE COME THE SOBS IM IM IM IM IM GONNA MELT

THE LITTLE “I can’t”s WITH THE SOBS “I can’t even begin to-“ THEN SOMETHNG COVERING HIS MOUTH HE KNOWS. Okay let’s put this into my context for ppl who are delulu like me: It won’t fit in his mouth, (ykwim by this stfu ykwim.) no matter how hard he tries it won’t fit, he can’t even start to put it in his mouth because his mouth is so small and tots just way too big, he’s sobbing from how hard he’s trying to force it into his throat but he keeps gagging. (Like tell me that “thing covering his mouth” can’t be like a gag.) he cant understand how big the dick infront of him is, it’s too much for him. He can’t take it all.

Okay still w number 3 he’s doing his sobs and I’m im im im im imimimimim

4. BEOBAHAJANSN AHHHHHH /pos

5. Let’s talk ab how at like 2:15:32 it sounds like he had it in his mouth, couldn’t fit it, sounds like he’s pulling off tbh and his little giggles are like AAAA ykwim and he says “i enjoy streaming” BC HE KNOWS WHAT HES DOING‼️‼️‼️

6. The gasps plsplsplspslspslsllsps-soslsllsls and the “hold on” literally a moan like stfu if ur gonna say otherwise.

7. That person fr called him out 🤭 and plesosjsnns

8. THE “there we go” PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STOP IM JUST AAAAGAHHANA

9. No he moaned on purpose and he knows it 😭. Like tell me that was on accident and don’t lie bc yk he did a little laugh afterwards bc he’d been practicing to do it on stream and it didn’t come out like he wanted. Kinda like me when I practiced saying “here” for school every day and it still came out bad anyways…

anon i think we are both very delusional.

AND YES I SAW THAT CLIP I WS LIKE AAAAA

thank you anon tytytytytyty

#poppyblr #poppytwt #💐blr #💐twt #ranb00 #r4nb00 #rvnboo

11 notes · View notes

myownprivatcidaho · 1 year

Text

oKAYYYYYYY ok. ok .

so that guy in my class this semester id been talking to. basically it was like a month ago we got carried away in his car after 8 days of talking and hanging out and basically after an hour of being in his car with the windows all fogged up he said he thinks i deserve honesty and doesnt want me to get hurt so he told me last semester there was a girl he liked who led him on and flirted and ended up having a boyfriend and he was still hung up on her and said he really just wanted to keep it casual and wasnt open to commitment and im REALLY really glad he was just honest with me. and we talked it out and he was really respectful and understanding when i (pretty adamantly at the time) said i just wanted to be friends and needed some space (like. JESUS he handled it so well im still kind of taken aback and honestly embarrased for ever having liked that ginger who led me on for a semester before going “oh yeah i hope i didnt like totally crush you with that or something” when i found out the ginger was seeing someone else lol, lmao).

so the last month ive just been friends with this guy from my class and our friendship is really really good and we get along and hes super duper funny and i really appreciate and respect him and he respects me yk.

but RECENTLY. so ive been giving him rides back to his place in my car bc weve spent a few evenings studying in the library, and it kind of got to the point we’d study just long enough that his last bus would just ~happen~ to leave and i, being a helpful friend, would just ~happen~ to offer to drive him back to his place

and thats been all fine and good but last wednesday he told me he really appreciated the rides and about an octave higher than i thought i would i replied “yeahhhhh ofc :’3” and he said “you know thats the only reason i stayed at the library, to” then he sorta backed off and said “to. to take advantage of the free rides” and i was like “omg youre exploiting the free labor of women” but after he got out of my car i giggled on and off like a schoolgirl possessed the entire drive back to my place. i kinda feel like hes testing the waters to see if im open to this conversation coming back up. which i AM ftr. a month ago we both didnt have those sort of feelings for each other but atp i thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink im rlly starting to fall for him and hes really looking at me with this Glow in his eyes and its driving me nuts.not to mention the good morning texts every morning jesus CHRIST

ANYWAYS so here we are again at the library this evening and jesus CHRIST hes wearing this funky patterned button up and when he walked into class today my first thought was jesus christ i WANT him. and within the next hour we’re gonna go back to my car so i can give him a ride back and ive just perchance parked a couple blocks further down so that i get to spend more time walking and talking with him because its honestly my favorite part of the day. anyways. hes sitting across from me and i feel like the ice is really melted between us again and im ovulating and shoot me i WANT him and i think we’re on the same page.

#he looks good. he looks REALLLLLLLY realllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly good.#hungry eyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees #crushposting

2 notes · View notes

dromaeo-sauridae · 2 years

Note

Sorry for spam liking half of your promethea tag SHFJKSKFK but I saw one of your posts come up bc I follow the spec evo tag, and I’m intrigued!! I have no clue what’s going on over there, I didn’t see a summary in as far as I scrolled — what’s the story with that world?

AEIFHUJA youre all good i was sleeping anyway! i dont mind spam liking !!

oh god yeah i never have posted a summary of wtf is going on have i. i just draw random shit LOL. ok lemme try to say all this without taking forever. um before i start i want to mention that im making the story with my friend who isnt on tumblr! i do most of the worldbuilding for promethea itself (and the creature design for all of cassandra) and they are in charge of another group of people who are pretty important lol. theres a LOT going on, so im just gonna focus on the main thing for now but if you want to know EVERYTHING then i can go over it all lmao

the story focuses on dawn (friend's character) who used to be a part of a group of sun god worshippers that were in charge of guarding the prison of a dragon named cinder. dawn was going to be the next warden/priest and in charge of keeping the prison secure, but a follower of cinder broke in and killed almost everyone there when dawn was a young child. they escaped when a wolf named theo led them to safety. afterwards, they were found and taken in by the king of promethea, jack. after a while, dawn realizes that something is wrong with him. hes being possessed, and its by the god of death. no one else is aware of this, since its been going on since he was a child and hes "himself" most of the time. however, as time goes on, its getting worse and worse and dawn starts looking for a way to help him. during their search, they find a woman named anuba, who strangely enough is looking for the same thing. well pretty quickly they realize that they both know jack, him and anuba being partners when they went to school together. so they start working together. unfortunately this sort of thing doesnt really. happen. ever. and they keep coming up with dead ends.

eventually one of them (not sure who yet, this bitch of a story is still a work in progress <3) comes up with the idea of calling on the sun god for help. the important thing here is that this god isnt the god of the sun, shes the god of damn everything. shes represented by the sun because of how powerful she is. the problem with her is since she's so huge and powerful, getting her attention is nearly impossible, even for someone like dawn who came from a group of her worshippers. anuba suggests letting the dragon whos locked up, cinder, out, since this god was the one who locked cinder up. dawn doesnt like the idea since cinder was locked up after she attempted to destroy all of cassandra, but they dont have many other options. anuba, who's desperate for literally any solution at this point, gets frustrated and goes off on her own to let cinder out anyway.

cinder is free.

now, there are two pieces of information that have been hidden from everyone up until this point. one, cinder is not just a dragon, she is a god, and she is the god who created cassandra. and two, cinder and the god that has been possessing jack are working together, and have been since the beginning. and jack is the one who killed the sun worshippers.

at this point, jack is beyond saving. hes too far gone and basically dead. his body is being used by the death god and when dawn returns, it attempts to kill them and theyre forced to finally kill him. dawn and anuba end up working together again, this time to kill cinder.

and yeah thats it. the ending is a bit rough cuz like i said its still a work in progress and jesus H christ this is so goddamn long already i need to fucking stop i hope this makes sense sorry for taking literally all day to answer its bc im atrocious at writing and it kept getting confusing LOL. theres a bunch of important shit ive left out bc of. the length. so if you have questions pls ask them

#good god #i had it about halfway written before deleting the whole thing and starting over cuz i didnt like it LMAO #i used to not like people spamliking but at this point my notifications are destroyed i will not mind #people talking to me #promethea #worldbuilding #<- kind of?#fantasy

7 notes · View notes

gayspock · 1 year

Text

ok im into generations

right so i wasnt sute about this one bc ok as ive said im not a huge tng fan + combine that with what ive heard about kirk in this one im kinda really scared 3:

also update: we got to order indian which my family usually arent onboard with but... :3 idc... im enjoying it yammy yammyyyyyyy

CAN I ALSO SAY. IM THE FUNNIEST BITCH EVER FOR WATCHING TREK TO STOP BIRTHDAY BLUES AND IT JUST MAKING ME EMO AS HELL ANYWAYS

hi oh MY GOD SHES SO PRRTTY OHHHH MY GODDDD HIII DEMORA HIII GIRLLIEEEE

also god ... this one makes me emo FUCK OFF THE END OF UNDISCOVERED CPUNTRY MADE ME FUCKING EMO GOD FUCKING HELL

god seriously though im trying not to be emo im meant to be watching these to not be emo but it does make me sad sometimes even watching stories like these thinking about where im gonna be if i make it to my 60s onwards like kirk + knowing i wont even have enterprise moments to look back on something something i never lived instead there was just a sad little hollow existence ... you guysknow what i mean. i wish i could be in the stars forever....

also it is funny how like so many of the trek movies are about how washed up kirk is its so fucking funny like we've been doing this bit since motion picture LOL

ALSO WAIT

HANG ON

CONNOR?

CONNOR JUMPSCARE CONNOR ROY JUMPSCARE

fucking connor typica- TIM RUSS?

if theres one thing about tim russ is that he'll be in a star trek showw or movie it doesnt even matter any more-

hi guinan . what the dickens.

also guys i ate too much food tummy hurt

also woag... 78 years later

ALSO YOU GUYS ARE ALL TAKING THE MICK LIKE "DONT TELL ME TUESDAY" WELL CAPTAIN CONNOR ROY DIDNT WANNA GO AFTER THEM KNOWING WHAT HE KNEW ABOUT THE SHIP YOU GUYS JUST BUGGERED OFF

come on kirk lets go girlie

the enterrprise is seriously like the pear wiggler

uhm

ehrm

NO SERIOUSLY IMAGINE BEING SCOTTY HERE ANDTHEY JUST LOSE KIRK

OH GOD IMAGINE BEING CAPTAIN CONNOR ROY. sorry i dont remember his seriouss name

oh fucking hell oh god WHY DID YOU GUYS DO THIS. JESUS FU CKING CHRIST. THIS IS SUCH A HARROWING END I... GOOD FUCKING HEAVENS . LIKE EVN THOUGH I KNOW HES SOMEHOW OKAY I CANT FATHOM IT FOR EVERYONE ELSE. JESUS.

HI WORF

HI RIKER

HI GEORDI

HI TROI

HI CRUSHER

HI DATA

.... hi picard. i guess. 😒

SORRY I FORGOT SHIT I ACTUALLY DO MISS THEM.

also god everyone can we be hoenst i did start to not like data as much not so much because of the show but basically just existing in fan space kind of really started to ruin him as a character for me but i will be honest him pushing bevs into the water and everyone being mad bc he just tried to match their energy yeah okay i feel that data sniff okay

ALSO PICARD SNAPPING. I LIKE IT WHEN HES A CUNT FRANKLY. I HATE IT WHENEVER THEY TRY TO MIDDLE GROUND IT WITH HIM. LOSER BEHAVIOUR. HES BEST WHEN HES FUCKING HORRIBLE TO PEOPLE AND I STAND BY THAT NO ON ELSE GETS ME

so is this where they find kirk

you know whats fucked up is spock is still alive somewhere ... ugh thatbreaks my heart SORRY. [looks shy] LIKE ... I ASSUME KIRK DIES BEFORE THE END OF THE MOVIE SO THEY NEVER MEET AGAIN FUCKING FINE DOES ANYONE TELL HIM WHAT HAPPENED THOUGH I'M- im going to kill myself

fucking hell though imagine if you pulled

YAAAYYY SPOOIT HI SPOT HIS PSOT BABY HIII SPOT HIIII SPOT HI BABY HI SPOTHIS SPOT

FUCK OFF

BRING SPOT BACK

CAN WE GET A SPOT CAM

i'll kms

oh god fucking- I FORGOT EMOTION CHIP WAS IN THIS FUCKING MOVIE. KILL YOUTSELVES. I HATE THIS. ITS BEYOND THE WORST FUCKIGN FECISION YVOEU EVE SORRY IM SEEING RED THIS IS WEHY I SHOULDTA HEV WATHCE ok breathe im breathing im normal im in and out breathing

he doesnt keep it thoughdoes he like

ugh

i feel like there is a way to do the emotion chip imagine if theyused it as a metaphor forlike.. masking, maybe and it really just made it all the worse for him and he rejected it bc he- YOU KNOW HES HAD EMOTIONS ALL ALONG THEYRE JUST NO THTE SAME AS YOURS ... I HATE MY LIFE I HATE ALL OF- BONG

me: gosh golly i mean how can i articulate my emotions regarding the emotion chip

also this cunt soran is just dickin about innit also do i just recognise him ta clockwork orange posters (has never seen the actual movie) where else have i seen him has he just got a face on him or what

NO DATA IS SO REAL FOR THIS WHO DOESNT REMEMBER SOMETHING 10 BILLION YEARS AGO AND HAVE A RIGHT GIGGLE

also you'd think regarding the data chip there'd be more of a fuss about him sticking it in considering what occurred to lore

GOD

THE WAY GEORDI DOESNT EVEN FIND HIM FUNNY. CLASSIC. AS IT SHOULD BE. THATS NOT OUR DATA IS IT NOW.

thatbing said im also a little sad like hes just learnt humour ITS RATHER NOVEL TO HIM . SORRY IF THAT MAKES ME SICK TO DEFEND IT.

okay there we go a complicat- JESUS THAT SUBTLE EFFECT ON HIS MOUTH THAT WAS SCARY DONTDO THAT EEEK HEAVENS

OH GOOD HEAVENS

THIS TIME IN: DATA LEARNS WHAT FEAR IS

THATS SO FUNNY SORRY i shouldnt laugh

eek.

you know what thats also funny to think about how like picard and such would have like super HD pics of them as kids do you know what i mean because when i see older people i think god theres only shitty pics of you when you were little bc cameras wont commonpla-

uhm

sorry picard is crying

i feel uncomfortable

dont fucking do that im a capricorn i w

oh jesus what the fuck . oh good fucking heavens i . I FUCKING HELL CAN I SAY IF I WAS A COUNSELOR LIKE TROI I'D KILL MYSELF A MILLION TIMES IM SO UNCOMFORTABL PLEASE FUCKING HELP ME

OH DEAR LORD

"the closest i'd get to having a child of my own" wyou've got some juice in you old man come on get fucking then

UGH OF COURSE PICARD HAS SOME FUCKING GRANDIOSE FUCKING FAMILY LINE. WHY. i thought it made more sense him being a smalltown little farmer or whatever. ANYWAY HE SHOULD BE LIKE ME. MY GRANDAD DROVE LORRIES FOR ASDA.

anyway what i was sayinh oh yes the pictures its strange i guess thinking about them being so farin the future sometimes when it comes to little things

what i will say is the second a klingon woman shows up with brilliant cleavage im like on my knees begging and i dont even know what for half the time im just like [whining noise] .. uhm. god i hope people dont read these lbs anyways

can we be nice to geordi for once- MORE NORMALYOU'LL END UP ON YOUR ASS CUNT

YEESH

CUNTYOU KLNOW WHATS ABNORMAL IS YOUR FUCKING HAIRLINE ITS GIVING JEFF WINGER FROM COMMUNITY sorry

GEORDI IS MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND

if i was data and i was feeling emotions for the first time i'd be crying throwing up being sick gaspig for geordi. i know this because im doing it anyways and im not even involved really

OKAY NO YEAH

YEAH ME TOO

I'D BE LIKE KMS JUST DO IT I HATE THIS SO ME BESTIE

PICARD

PICARD LET HIM FUCKING GO BEDDY BYES AREGHGHHH

also again me watching trek movies to escape my existential dread but good heavens every single time they get super existential wrt time and whatnot STOP IT. QUIT IT OUT

"the only engineer in starfleet that doesnt go to engineering" HELP LEA HIM AL-GJA0-GKAGKS[DGOSD[GOSDG

I JUST. LOVE. SCANNING FOR LIFE FORMS

ok his cute little doo doo doo okay

THESE KLINGON WOMAN SO HOT

god it wouldnt be a star trek movie if we didnt blow the shit out of the enterprise

dont get me wrong her hair is gorgeous still but ugh i wish troi got to have her little curlie whirlies

i need the klingon woman to

sorry

stop sentence

theyve exploded now so i'll behave

also we're like an hour in and kirk hasnt reappeared which makes this hysterically funny if theyre going to have him pop up again for 0,2 seconds and then axe him like jesus christ way to kill him off thats so funny like is any of this worth it im bewildered

TBY THE WAY THE ENTERPRISE CRASHING IS SO FUNNY BECAUSE I SWEAR DOWN THEYVE REUSED THE SAME FOOTAGE OF IT CRASHING AND THEN CUTTING INTO ALL THE DRAMA ON THE SHIP ITSELF BUT LIKE, DOES IT MAKE SENSE THE FOOTAGE OF THE SHIP ITSELF ON THE EXTERIOR VIEW WILL BE LOOPING ITS POSITION HELP

also i said it earlier but i cant tell if soran(?) actually does look like jeff rom community or if im just focussing on the hairline am i crazy

HANG ON I WENT TO GOOGLE TO SEE IF ANYONE ELSE THOUGHT IT AND THE CUNT WAS IN COMMUNITY WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON ABOUT

WHEN

I MEAN GRANTED IM TALKING MORESO ABOUT THE RESEMLANCE WITH HIM IN THIS MOVIE RATHER THAN HIM BEING OLDERHANG ON7

CAPTAIN picard waking up in - oh my god............. this is scary

NO THIS IS SCARY IM TERRIFIED

DONT DO THAT

ITHIS IS SCARTY

IM SCARED OF CHILDREN LOVING THEIR FATHERS

whos his wifey okay

generic woman thats so funny . kill yourself beverly crusher

rene ... sorry its so easy to forget picard is literally FRENCH with a BRITISH accent. double homicide. christ

hi guinan

also okay lets talk more about this movie. gusy lets talk about this movie.

"but these are all mine" is such a hysterically funny way to think of your kids

PA PA. HELP ME BUILD MY CARSTLE. PA PA FANK YOU FOR THE DOLLS. SHE IS VERY BEAUTIFUL. GOD PICARD IM SORRY BUT I CANT COPE WITH YOUR KIDS victorian ASS CHILDREN AND YOU DONT EVEN GIVE A RATS ASS ABOUT YOUR WIFE . FUCKING HLL PICARD. TRUE MIRROR OF YOUR PSYCHE

NOW KIRK FINALLY REAPPEARS WHAT IS HE JUST.... CHOPPING WOOD THIS IS SO FUNNY

aww he has a doggy and a clock with bones and-

HELP OF COURSE THEY GAVE JAMES A RANDOM WOMAN TOO THIS IS SO FUNNY ANTONIA WHO THE HELL IS ANTONIA GOD BLESS US ALL ITS SO FUNNY AS IF

i love kirk im sorry i stand by it when he just fucking has a new woman every fucking day of the week why not .. have fun

THIS IS SO FUNN Y I DONT KNOW WHY I ASSUMED KIRK WOULD HAVE A BIGGER ROLE IN THIS GOD BLESS

"youre a starfleet officer. you have a duty." I MEAN HE WAS LIKE... LITERALLY KIND OF RETIRING MAN IN FAIRNESS.

why are they bonding over their lack of families . lonely middleaged men well. theres a solution like well

maybe boost . sorry not boost. "boost". i mean but the ghosts that boost reported. were right. and they should just have gay sex here to solve their problems . fill the holes in your hearts and the holes well i didnt say that who said that

AGAIN i guess they didnt want to isolate the audiences or whatever but god wouldnt it just . i dont know work better if you even chose carol and david or something like FUCKING ANTONIA. HELP. AND IS ANTONIA IN THE ROOM RIGHT NOW

OH MY GOD

HORSEGIRLS

STAR TREK EQUESTRIA NEW SERIES CALLED IT

I LOVE IT HEN MEN ARE HORSEGIRLS

aww the horsies love e- GUYS THE HORSIES LOVE EACH OTHER AND I WAS ABOUT TO GET WEEPY THINKING-

OKAY SO MY THOUGHT PROCESS JUST NOW WAS WAHH THE HORSES ARENT REAL THEYRE IN THE NEXUS > BUT OH GOD EVEN IF THEY WERENT THE HORSES ARENT REAL ITS A MOVIE > BUT WAIT OH MY GOD THE HORSES ARE REAL ACTUALLY IN REAL LIFE THEYRE NOT JUST A PROJECTION > OH FUCKING GOD THESE HORSES ARE PROBABLY LONG DEAD

SORRY

"dont let them do anything stay there" KIRK YOU ARE THE REASON THEYRE FUCKING WHEELING PATRICK STRWART AROUND FOR A THIRD SEASON IN 2023 YOU FUCKING MENACE

THANK GOD YOU MENTION SPOCK

sorry

PICARD ARE YOU EVEN GOING TO MENTION SPOCK IS STILL ALIVE AND THAT YOURE BESTIES WITH HIS LATE FATHER

and bones could be too i dont know he was alive in ep 1 of tng but frankly well yeah

WOAHHH HI KIRK

HES JAMES T KIRK. BITCH

so is james t kirk literally going to die HERE now because thats so funny imagine that youre stuck in limbo for 80 years and then you get out and instantly eat shit i mean theres a way to do that gracefully i think but this obviously well

SORRY I FEEL LIKE IM GOING INTO THIS WITH A PRECONCIEVEDNOTION ARENT I BUT ITS HARD NOT TO

also why do so many of kirks lines sound... whats the word? recorded and added back in later?i forget the term but it sou-

DID KIRK

STRAIGHT UP JUST

IN .2 SECONDS

I DONT KNOW WHY I

I EXPECTED LIKE SOME FANFARE DID HE JUST

HI IS KIRK DEAD DID I EVEN

CAN I PROCESS THAT KIRK IS DEAD? AM I ALLOWED TO?

HEY GUYS?

BLOW UP. BITCH. 4JESUS OKAY SO NOW WE

OKAY SO KIRKIS LIKE FUCKING

RIGHT FINE JESUS OK........

"IT WAS FUN. <3" #DIES

god how are we... are we just burying him here, too? like good lord i dont know what i expected cant we... i dont know. christ . it feels so messed up to see kirk die and have a moment with PICARD sbeing the only person just standing over his grave and for him-

SORRY I MEAN THIS IS IRONIC BECAUSE KIRK WAS ALSO A CRIMINAL ABOUT THIS BUT I DONT TAKE AS MUCH OFFENCE WITH TOS BECAUSE THATS JUSRT SORT OF TOS YOU KNOW BUT IM STILL VERY GRUMPY About picard in general + how hes used within tng anyways god i

data....?

SPOT?

SPOT ARE YOU OKAY

THANK GOD THANK FUCKING GOD

OH THANK FUCKING GOD OH CHRIST IM GOING TO CRY NO SHUT UP. THIS CAT IS FIGHTING FOT ITS LIFE

i will also say going back its always so funny how they do that bit with like ahhh damn the starfleet officers cant have families bc im sure theyve touched upon it with riker too but also like. thats just what makes sisko the fucking best isntit . HAHAHAAHHAHAAH., GOT EM

thanks riker. swing your big dick aaround

also can i be honest i didnt care about enterprise d being destroyed. smirk. there i said it. i wept in search for spock i will say i will profess to that but that was like real thi wasn stop imr emeebring

MOVIE OVER?

#Egg.txt #STAR TREK LIVEBLOG #UNDESCRIBED IMAGE

2 notes · View notes

wawawawawawawawawawawawawa · 2 years

Text

im telling you guys, yall are NOT gonna like my opinion on the incest in this show as a victim of incest

honestly i was just gonna leave it at that but im gonna put it all under the cut so i can nuke it if this gets out of hand. obvious tw for incest but real actual incest and csa

so ive been a victim of incest. what happened was my cousin, who was my age, got me to play a "game" where we were just humping each other. i was uncomfortable because it was surrounding something i didn't know about* and knew i shouldn't know about, and i didn't want to get in trouble when we got caught. so i squealed, they talked to him, and it stopped. he asked me to play once after, i said no, we did something else

(*i was a sheltered kid, and he was already on the internet. i was 8-9)

but that's not when i was a victim of incest.

what really happened was my mother had a strange fixation on my ass when i was prepubescent. and when i started going through puberty and developing, she'd slap it as i was walking by, no matter how many times i voiced my discomfort. she also showered with me past the appropriate age and once touched my vagina under the guise of "cleaning" it, and as i grew up would have an uncomfortable fixation with my affection, and there was an incident where shed plant long, sloppy kisses on me and smell me, like take a huge fucking whiff. and she even admitted she had a fake version of me in her head that she talked to. it was emotional incest with a side order of real incest

and my opinion?

shut the fuck up about the incest jesus christ.

i remember when i saw this therapist. my mom was isolating me away from my entire support system and i was spiraling hard. i told him everything and he concluded i had PTSD

but not from my abusive mother.

from my cousin.

the insistence that the incest was the worst thing that could've possibly happened to me infuriated me back then, and it infuriates me now.

the uncomfortable experience with my cousin paled in comparison to the repeated, rampant abuse i suffered at the hands of my mother. not even the incest shit, the other stuff.

but the insistence that incest is the Be All End All of bad harmed me. it prevented me from getting the help i needed- once i revealed that experience, it was all that therapist focused on. not my mother. not the damage she was currently doing to me. a weird encounter with my cousin.

which brings me here.

the whole.... point of this show is to reveal the seedy underbelly of society. how immoral it all is, the things normal people would shy away from and be disgusted by. and the incest is just.... one of those things. it's not portrayed as good, nothing in this show is! but yall treat "not explictly treated as the worst thing possible" as "glorifying and fetishizing" and its getting on my goddamn nerves

and before yall say "yeah but there's just some things that are too far!" by whose metric? yours?

another person who watches the show could say that izaya's kidnapping of suicidal girls is "too far." another could even say that a man having dyed hair is "too far." someone else could say that the high-school characters being in gangs is "too far." why should everyone follow your metric of what "too far" is? why are you the main arbiter of good and evil in fiction?

and i'm not saying you have to like the incest. it does cross a line for a lot of people, including other victims of incest. i get it.

but its mere presence isnt suddenly worlds worse than everything else in this show, and it certainly isn't something that needs to be fixed. sorry ur girlboss gaslight slayqueen fave is an incestuous pedophile but that's just the canon of the show and it fits with the theme of the show. you just want it to be fixed because you can't bring yourself to like her with this information, you have to moralize everyfuckingthing you do, including liking a character, because liking a character means you agree with everything she does??

again its FINE if people want to make fan content of her without the incest in it, blah blah et cetera I GET IT, but acting like its some sort of moral failing on narita's part for even including it in the first place is kind of selfish and misses the point of the . whole series

#cancellation speedrun #please dont be braindead about this #sorry i dont think incest is miles and miles apart in severity than any other evil #that wasnt very 'one of the good aspds' of me

6 notes · View notes

swiftfootedachilles · 2 months

Note

people are so weird how are u gonna bash a well meaning person and then refuse?? to tell them?? WHY you’re bashing them?? if ur post was offensive then explain why jesus christ this is not how u have healthy useful dialogue with people, it’s just piling unnecessary hate and cruelty on someone. i’m really sorry you’re being treated so shittily by this fandom, i love your posts.

hey thank you so much for this. the handful of people ive talked to have been very understanding of my side and agree that it seems like this person already didn't like me and was looking for a way to renounce me+my posts

truly, i don't know why she feels my posts are offensive. i hate the idea that a jewish person feels i was antisemitic and fetishizing jewish culture. i researched antisemitic fetishization tropes in opera during my undergrad program. ive always tried my hardest to understand minority communities that i am not a part of, without overstepping and seeming like a white knight/savior. i have always been guided through life by my ethics and a burning need for social justice. i want to fix this!

i was really pissed off yesterday and used more aggressive language in my posts and replies. today my head is clearer but im just as confused. i never expect minorities to do the emotional labor of researching topics for me and handing everything over on a silver platter. i will gladly educate myself, but i cant do that when i don't know what i did wrong. this isn't a situation where i did something clearly wrong and there's an obvious gap in my understanding - ive asked multiple friends where they feel i went wrong, and all of them have said they aren't sure

one very kind person messaged me about how, from an outsiders perspective, they were reminded of other situations where autistic people have their words or actions purposefully misinterpreted, and that seriously opened my eyes. OBVIOUSLY im not saying this person is accusing me of antisemitism because she hates autistic people. but i have often experienced people purposefully misrepresenting me and getting mad without explanation. everything starts out good, great even, and i build a script with which to interact with others. but eventually, you get very comfortable and stop following a script, start to unmask a little. and suddenly all hell breaks loose.

you're not acting right. you said the wrong thing. who would say something like that? so inappropriate. and when you ask for clarification because you genuinely do not know what you did wrong, all you receive are eyerolls and more hate because you should already know this, im not gonna spoonfeed everything to you. you're an adult figure it out yourself.

like i said, i don't think she's, like, hating on me for being autistic. i think ive gained a certain reputation (of what i don't know) in the shameless fandom, and people are projecting their preexisting judgement into me. this means that they don't actually want me to apologize. they don't care. they think i am already not a good person and just want to point that out to me to shame me into saying sorry because they think it'll knock me down a few pegs. whatever. my real offline life is much worse than getting mildly ganged up on on the internet. ill survive. i still want to finish my mickey embroidery and my edits/webweavings and my fics. maybe i will, maybe i won't. like ive mentioned many times before, i have pretty bad rejection sensitive dysphoria and i need to be reassured i will get feedback on my works before i ever post them. my fics were already being ignored by most of the big fandom writers - i think those will just have to be scrapped because i genuinely cannot take hollowing out my chest and putting it to paper only to get a few nice comments/kudos. the embroidery though, that's for me. i definitely wanna do it. the other original posts like webweavings, idk maybe i really don't know

#anonymous #asks #long post #a.txt #kinda lost the plot at the end there but whatever

1 note · View note

muffysisthecarbs · 2 years

Text

when i was younger I felt so useless. there always came a point in my friendships when that friend would abandon me. always every single friend. so obviously I was the problem. all these different friends over all the years no matter how much i changed, they all eventually realized that they didn't wanna talk to me anymore or they wanted someone else more. the first time it happened i was in 4th grade and it kept happening. I try so hard to be a good friend and i really keep thinking i am a good friend but eventaully the people im close to decide im annoying or im not cool enough. it mostly happened in my school years. its always my fauly. like. they all do it. all these different people so obviously im the problem. but i dont know what;s the problem. like dana if im texting you that i feel like shit today and my brain feels like mush and i wanna see you why arent you replying specfically to the message where i say i wanna see you. especially after yesteray i askedyou to hang out and you said yes after a birthdya party you were going to but then you never left the party and then told me you were drunk. why am i not important enough for you to say "okay im gonna get to the party at 12pm ill leave at 3:30 so so we can hang out at 4" why arent you answering my 2 messages that i wanna see you cause i feel like shit and i feel hollow. why arent i important enough to take care of. why isnt my love enough for poeple why dont people like my love? why isnt christian talking to me anymore? its been 2 weeks of silence. i ena i know why they arent talking to me becausse before their flight i made a joke about how i didnt want their plane to crash and the joke was that i did want it to crash "gee wiz i sure do hope your plane doesnt crash 🥺.....🤭" and then you ask me whats wrong with me? but when you told your boyfriend that i got hit by a car when i was 6 you couldnt stop laughing. you always laugh when you tell people i got hit by a car. and im okay with it cause it is funny in a morbibd way. you love making morbid jokes. why is my morbid joke enouhg to not talk to me for 2 weeks. silent treatment wowie. when I told Sam in 10th grade that she was "being flippant" as a joke because we had just learned "flippant" in vocabualry she texted erica that im so rude and now she "understand why [Erica] treats [me] so badly" because erica did treat me very badly. she would ignore me and yell at me and ditch me and insult me. and everyone knew it and sam knew it and she told erica that she gets it now. im worthy of being treated badly. im in so much pain and im so sad and im so alone. and YOU KNOW WHAT KILLS? this isnt new I keep being sad and alone. like persistnelty.

i keep getting emails and breaking my neck to check my pgone cause i think its someone texting me but its never a friend. i dont get love. but really i dont think i even want love. i want obsession i want someoen to love me more than i love them. i dont evne have the BALLS to kill myself and i want to so bad which is anothe fialure on my part. lol being suicidal is a faliure and failing at suicide is a failure jesus christ was a life of snwoballing failure. im not cry typing im just bad at typing and whats the point in fixing a typo lol? what even is this desire to publicize these thoughts? no one reading this could do anything to help. no one reading this knows me. by this far in this who is even reading this? i have a therapist. ive had two! im such a faker lmfaoooo. its 3:19 pm I skipped work yesterday and toyda which is amother failure on my part. im in pain. how can i work when im in pain how can i live when im in pain? so the answer is obviously to die. but its not.

in a sisyphus way its obviousl not the answer to die. but i still want to. why isn't suicide okay? why can i just decide as an adult that i dont wanna live anymore and then kill myself? should i show up at hte hospital and be like "hi i havent made an attempt on my life but im super suidical right now" that would be so embarassing. im so scaredddd of being aliveeeeee ahhhhh and its crazy cause im already alive.

im scared im sscared of snakes but thats okay cause i never have to interact with snakes. im scared of being alive but im constantly being alive. cronic anxiety slay? i have to pee. i spedn a lot of time wishing for something bad to happen to me. i pray for cancer a lot. a quick one. cancer to excuse me from the responsibilities of life and then i can kill myself and everyone will be able to justify my suicide more. why dont i matter? why do i have to prove my value? and why is my attempts to prove it never enough. i just wanna receive love!!!!!! from my friends. my friends dont love me. love doenst make peolpe treat others liek this. yadda yadda yadda shut up dumb bitch all this talking for what? nothings gonna change lmfao

0 notes

cherryblossomsno1fan · 3 years

Text

part 2 of bsd characters except it's conversations/things me and my friends have said

Chuuya: piss on the principal and say "transphobe" and leave

Fyodor: I heard piss

Dazai: oh. my. god.

Dazai: THIS SERVER ISTG

Fyodor: HELP HAGAHAHHEJSS

Chuuya: HELEPPAFGKOHJ

Dazai: HOW ARE WE ALL OBSESSED WITH PISS

Dazai: FUCK IT. WAR CRIMINALS HAS A PISS KINK.

Fyodor: We are obsessed with piss or making fun kf it

---

Dazai: Make it a soliloquy for when its a rainy day and i want to feel like a badass widower, and then you can cum

Chuuya: hey what the fuck?? its two am

---

Margaret: my humor is dry but my pussy is wet

---

Chuuya: At least I haven’t been called twink here, my old friend used to call me that constantly. Not a bad thing but

Higuchi: isnt a twink something for gay men

Akutagawa: Twink is a weak ass bottom

---

Ranpo: fan behavior

Yosano: growls

Kunikida: not the fan behavior-

---

Dazai: KUNIKIDA WHY WOULD YOU FUCK ME OVER LIKE THIS

Chuuya: heh bottom

Dazai: we both know perfectly well it's not like that.

---

Atsushi: DID YOU JUST CALL ME A TWINK

Akutagawa: are you deaf aside from a coward?

Atsushi: NO PLEAH DID YOU ACTUALLY CALL ME A TWINK

---

Hawthorne: i have to shit so fucking badly but i’m in church

Mark: shit on the pastor

Margaret: IM CRYONG HELPS

Lucy: burn the church.

Steinbeck: arson😩😩😩

Hawthorne: i think i might literally shit my pants

Lucy: burn the church

Steinbeck: burn the church

Hawthorne: it’s like squeezing out my ass hole

Mark: poo on the pastor

Poe: run to the bathroom in all seriousness

Margaret: IM CRYONGE

Hawthorne: i cant their praying rn

Hawthorne: so i can’t really run

Mark: waddle

Margaret: tears will start running out of my eye sockets if you shit yer pants

Lucy: say “UwU pastor sama i have to take a poopoo, please let me go shitty witty in the toilet, I’ll pray to sky daddy tonight nya”

Poe: NO

Mark: NYA?????

Steinbeck: IDEK WHAT TO SAY

Louisa: WHAT IS HAPPENING

Margaret: thats it here comes the tears

Poe: MARGARET'S ACTUALLY CRYING HELP

---

Gin: HC my wifi has a praise kink

Gin: “Such good wifi” Works better

Akutagawa: i have a praise kink

Gin: wha

Akutagawa: i also have a degradation kink

Gin: same

Akutagawa: idk how that works but

---

Margaret: I’m gonna ride Jesus like the wind

---

Dazai probably: it's cunnilingus but for buttholes

---

Kunikida to the ADA talking about someone (for the scenario let's say it's Fyodor):holy shit he is the single most annoying person ever AND IVE MET YOU GUYS

---

Kyouka: fuck you and your privileged shoes!

---

Kenji: the square is the sandwich.

---

Dazai, texting Kunikida: my ass is made out of armadillos.

---

Kunikida: no i'm not gonna write a box of condoms.

---

Q: you made my teeth wiggle! bitch!

---

Yosano: silence twinkymalinky

Ranpo: WHAT'S WITH THE TWINK RELATED INSULTS

---

Dazai: What are you doing step bro

Chuuya: help me get out of this fucking washing machine dazai or so god help me i'm telling mom what a slut you are

---

Chuuya: bitch person

Q: bitch person

Chuuya: yes i can't call you bitchboy you're nonbinary

Q: PLS

Dazai: bitch enby?

Chuuya: no, bitch person

Mori: Bitch human

Kouyou: that would be assuming Q is human

Q: im not sure at this point

Dazai: Bitch god

Chuuya: bitch being

Mori: yeah

---

Atsushi: I hate it here.

Akutagawa: good.

---

Nikolai, as a joke: list of Fyodor's kinks - tear kink - piss kink - scat kink - mold kink - dirty water kink - electricity kink - mommy kink - cockroach toilet flushing kink - marking kink - horse kink - hussie kink

Sigma: jesus christ

Sigma: COCKROACH TOILET FLUSHING KINK?????????

Dazai: sounds about right

Sigma: IDEK WHAT THAT IS

Fyodor: IHY

---

Chuuya: i'd step on someone if they steal from me

Elise: no spray febreeze in their eyes

Gin: no you gotta K.O them

Higuchi: i dont like confrontation but i dont mind having to use violence

Hirotsu: im pretty sure the devil is scared of you

---

Ranpo: genuinely think that the one lyric in the song up by cardi b is "i said my face bomb ass tight rack stuck and shat light" bc i haven't looked up the actual lyrics and at this point i don't think that looking them up will stop me from continuing to sing these lyrics.

Yosano: you.

Yosano: ok

---

Lucy: ok 2013 humor i didnt ask for your input

Atsushi: what else am i supposed to say?? good for you?? break a leg?? don't die?? what the fuck

---

Ranpo: we ate ,,, lamp

Ranpo: *lamb

Poe: l

Poe: lanp

Ranpo: ??

Poe: lap

Ranpo: lamnpl

Ranpo: we ate goat

---

Tetchou: psst

Jouno: Oh no

Tetchou: gay

Jouno: What about it

Tetchou: nothing just gay

Jouno: Stares

Jouno: Same

---

Tachihara: i have never had boba

Tachihara: it looks funky

Gin: It tastes amazing

Tachihara: do you like swallow the balls or bite them

Gin: Either way

Tachihara: shit that sounds weird out of context

---

Yosano: it's wonky! it is- it's fucking wonky! none of this is straight and i can relate to that!

---

Louisa: my only experience with boba was when i once went into a boba shop and ordered,,, coffee

Poe: You

Poe: What

Louisa: yeah,,,

Poe: WHY COFFEE

Louisa: ok so kind of a long story

Louisa: i was in a coffee shop before but i accidentally ordered a drink that wasn't coffee but i wasn't gonna ask my friends to go back to the coffee place to get coffee and they wanted to go get boba so i saw there that they also had coffee and i was like "Oh i'm gonna get that"

Louisa: it tasted like black tea with milk

Louisa: not coffee

Louisa: so it was an absolute scam

335 notes · View notes

barnesandrogersfanfics · 3 years

Text

Ocean Eyes - Part 12

A/N - Finally an update!! i promise to not leave it as long for the next part.

Please like/comment/reblog, it gives me incentive to write quicker if i know people are actually enjoying my madness 💕

"You okay?" Chris asked suddenly making me jump, i thought he was asleep! He was currently wrapped around me acting as the big spoon.

"Jesus christ! You scared the crap outta me!" I chuckled quietly feeling stupid that he made me jump so bad.

"Sorry dahlin" he chuckled close to my ear "but are you okay?".

"Yeah just can't sleep, I've got so much going through my head i can't switch off"

"Its not because you're in here with me is it?"

"No of course not, this is actually just what i needed. I've missed laying in your arms...." I had caved and agreed to stay in Chris's room tonight, no funny business just sleeping. I felt Chris smile before pressing a kiss to my neck.

"I've missed this too. So what exactly is it keeping you awake beautiful? Talk to me..."

"Honestly? The whole thing with Brian.... how did he find me here??".

"I have no idea, but its very creepy!.... then again we shouldn't really be surprised, he had a habit of always knowing where you were. I got bad vibes off that guy the second i saw him".

We had called the police to report Brian but they couldn't do much about it as he technically hadn't done anything wrong, they said to call them again if we saw him around anymore.

"I don't understand why he's doing this! Its not like i led him on or anything, I've never shown that man any interest. I barely even talk to the guy!"

"He's clearly unstable"

"It scares me Chris...."

"Hey, i won't let him hurt you.... i already warned him to stay away...." Chris said through gritted teeth.

"What?...."

"It doesn't matter...."

I turned in his arms so i was now facing him "yes it does, what do you mean you warned him to stay away?"

"The day Scott and I came to get you and Mason to bring you here, you remember how he kept going on about where you were going and when you were coming back....then he asked you to dinner?"

"Oh yeah, you kinda snapped"

"Yeah.....I told him nicely to stay away from my family, that you were unavailable and uninterested.... that he should move on. I said if i found out he was harassing you still id make his life hell" he looked a little sheepish as he confessed to what had been said between the two of them.

"Well I'm guessing he didn't like to be told to stay away huh?"

"Apparently not. But lets not worry about him right now, you need to sleep"

"Ive been trying...."

"Come here" Chris said and rolled onto his back pulling me close until i was laying with my head on his chest, his hand stroking up and down my back. Back strokes were my weakness and he knew it! "You'll be asleep in no time" he mumbled pressing a kiss to the top of my head. And he was right, with the steady thumping of his heart and his fingers stroking my back i was a goner.

I woke up alone, the bed already cold meaning Chris had been gone for a while. I reached for my phone on the bedside cabinet, it was nearly 10am!! I quickly got up and headed to the bathroom to pee and check how bad i looked. Once i was done i headed downstairs to find Chris, Mason and Scott.

"Hey" Chris smiled at me as i entered the kitchen, he was sat at the dining room table in front of his laptop.

"Hey, why didn't you wake me up?"

"You looked too peaceful, besides you didn't get to sleep til late"

I nodded walking over to kiss him "thank you" i smiled running my hand over his bearded jaw "you're the best".

Chris pulled me down into his lap and deepened the kiss until i had to pull back enough to catch my breath and we both laughed.

"Where's Mason?"

"Walking Dodger with Scott, i gave him breakfast and helped him get dressed before they left"

"He wasn't any trouble was he?"

"Not at all. He's like the best behaved kid I've ever met"

"He has his moments don't be fooled" i chuckled thinking back to some tantrums id witnessed over the years.

"I don't believe you, that kid is an angel"

"You just wait and see Evans" i laughed before getting up and walking into the kitchen so i could get a coffee and some toast.

"So um, I've got to do an online interview tonight with Jimmy Fallon" Chris followed me into the kitchen.

"Okay" i nodded.

"I just thought id let you know i'll have to disappear for a while"

"Thats fine, Mason will probably be in bed by then and i'll just stay in the living room watching a movie with Scott"

"Now i feel left out" he pouted.

Later that day we all went outback and played some Wiffle Ball to pass the time, Chris and Scott getting competitive again.

"Mom I'm tired" Mason said wrapping his arms around my waist and cuddling up against me.

"You wanna go take a nap before dinner buddy?"

"Yeah"

"Come on then" i picked him up and he rested his head on my shoulder "guys Mason needs a nap, i think you've worn him out"

"I think i need a nap too!" Scott laughed.

"Well I'm gonna make a start on dinner, you have time for a nap if you wanna"

Walking back up to the house i started struggling with Mason, he was getting too big for me to carry around now! My baby was growing up too fast!

"You want me to take him?" Chris suddenly asked, i nodded and come to a stop before passing a sleeping Mason over to Chris.

"Thanks, he's getting heavy" i said sadly.

"No problem"

"I hate that he's getting too big for me to carry him when he's tired"

"I know but its okay, I'm here to help now"

"Who's gonna carry me? Im exhausted!" Scott added making us laugh quietly so we didn't wake Mason.

The evening flew by, we all had dinner then sat and watched Toy Story with Mason. When it came to bedtime Mason insisted that Chris read him a story and of course he couldn't say no. Once he was asleep Chris headed to his office to get ready for his interview while Scott and I headed to the living room to find a movie to watch.

"Sooooo....." Scott said dragging it out to sound scandalous as he wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"What?"

"What?.... don't you what me Missy! I know you spent the night with Chris! So come on spill the tea sister!"

"You're ridiculous you know that?" I rolled my eyes at him and laughed at how comical he looked right now.

"Like i care" he shrugged "come on! Tell me what happened"

"Sorry to disappoint but nothing happened we just slept"

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, we're taking things slow"

"And who's decision was that?"

"We both said we don't wanna rush it"

"But you suggested it right?..... hey I'm not judging you for that" he quickly added when he saw me look away sadly.

"You're scared you're gonna get hurt again aren't you?"

"Wouldn't you be? I just wanna make sure we're gonna be okay, that its more than just sex. We were always good at that, the emotional stuff.... not so much"

We were halfway through the movie when Chris rushed in asking Scott to join him for a game that Jimmy Fallon wanted them to do.

"Really? I can't just leave Y/N on her own....."

"Go i'll be fine" i chuckled.

"Sorry dahlin, i hate leaving you on your own.... we wont be long though 15/20 minutes tops.

"Go do what you gotta do, I'm fine here watching this" i nodded to the TV.

While they were off doing the interview

I texted my mom and Hannah to check in, they were doing good all things considered. I quickly settled back in to watch the rest of the movie but was interrupted again by multiple message alerts on my phone. I looked to see it was Hannah blowing up my phone.

When i opened the thread i gasped, my heart was racing so fast.... i felt sick as my eyes landed on one thing in particular....... the headline!

"CHRIS EVANS HAS A SECRET FAMILY!"

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @supernaturalwintersoldier @fairlightswiftly @hiddelstannerbarnes @bellamy-barnes @buchanansebba @rosalynshields

Ocean eyes: @supraveng @michelehansel @melissaglenn5 @denisemarieangelina

@mrsjeffwittek @mery-be @marvelfansworld @cmalass @capstopavenger @fallenoutofrose @kelbabyblue @biebsmylife95 @loser-alert @traceyaudette @w3lissax @jennmurawski13 @ford66steal @saiyanprincessswanie @christocrave @jakiki94 @torntaltos @my-dearest-agent @ms-betsy-fangirl

If your name is crossed out i couldnt tag you.

#chris evans #ocean eyes #chris evans x reader #reader insert

122 notes · View notes

aquariusshadow · 2 years

Text

Live!Blogging Legacies s4x8

okay so last week's episode got me really excited...don't let me down legacies

lessssss gooooooo

okay i really like this song

Dr. Josette Saltzman...aight

oh wait a minute

is this some fantasy thing

asdlfhasfdjasdfl

niiiiiiiiiiiice

i saw the painting

OH DUH THE THERAPY BOX THING

AJDHFLSDJF

WHAT

ALL THREE

ITS CANON IN THE THERAPY BOX

LIZZIE ETHAN MG

no mg honey yall didnt know how to properly bring hope back

only dark josie seemed to figure out something with it

yesssssss cleo and lizzie teaming up

srry im just mezmorized by how pretty hope is again dont mind me

so josie's therapy box focuses on hope's story

.........doctor!josie im sensing some fondness for doctor!hope

i really am loving The Originals vibe i'm getting with this scene with hope and the werewolf pack

ghdsflasjdahfsjdfalhsdf

Dr. Ted = Dr. Death

idk why this is so funny to me

oh geez we're gonna go down the "dick doctors think being a doctor means no emotions" trope again

oh god

i remember vera

ethan is mg's true clutch hehehe

E to Rescue Guy

the nicknames get longer and longer

oh my

Doctor!Landon

.......i'm really vibing with his look

ahahaha

its the hair

it has to be the hair

okay jesus

hope's the alpha pack leader now

this will be interesting

ngl while i really dont care about the Limbo scenes...there's something really funny about vera giving alaric so much shit

man i still can't believe we're dealing with any sort of m*zzie drama

four. seasons.

i'm sorry i'm just so over it

i really do like how cleo and mg are discussing pretty much everything

it's interesting seeing this dynamic

........well there goes their only weapon

woooooooooooooooa

holy shit

aurora

its been so long oh my god

i really need to rewatch s3 of the originals

oh christ the knife

i loveeee how we're bringing up these old plotlines

especially the hollow plotline

i thnk this is the first time where i'm actually liking the lizzie/ethan dynamic

like they aren't bullshitting each other

.....at least lizzie's honest with what she's planning on doing i'll give her that

okay i feel like i should know what that trident weapon is

it looks familiar

"It's because I don't want to see you hurt on those front lines" ahljfsdfhsjdfahsldjfasldf my methan heart

i love them so much your honor

gdi she gave him a memory

ive said it before and ill say it again

finsie are cute for what we have

................are they in different bodies?

daaaaaaang okay

thats gonna be interesting down the road

lizzie you deserve an oscar for that performance good lord

This episode was pretty interesting? But I felt like I was...waiting for something that didn’t quite happen? I suppose this was another build-up episode, though. Bringing back Aurora and doing the body swapping storyline is very bold and I’m looking forward to all the chaos that will bring! Man I need to rewatch s3+ of the Originals....

I am vibing a lot with the Hosie stuff we’re getting these past few episodes, Methan are adorable as usual, Finsie are also very cute although I feel like they’re gonna break up soon?

Honestly, right now, the two most compelling characters to watch are probably Tribrid!Hope and Lizzie. I can’t fully explain it right now but Lizzie’s approach to the Hope situation feels the most realistic for her character and it’s nice seeing someone take a different approach that’s causing it’s own brand of conflict and complexity.

#legacies #live!blogging legacies #legacies s4x8 #hope mikaelson #josie saltzman #lizzie saltzman #mg #milton greasley #ethan machado #finch tarrayo #aurora de martel #hosie #casual hosie fan okee #methan #ethan is mg's rescue guy #finsie #i really hope they handle finsie properly cuz i'm getting some vibes.....#i cant wait for lizzie and hope to face off #especially if its still aurora in hope's body

15 notes · View notes

floatinginwords · 3 years

Text

Saved by the Devil (9/?) - Tommy Shelby

Summary: Reader goes to visit tommy at his office (sorry im bad at summaries lol)

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x fem!reader (Its getting romantic i promise. slowly but surely)

A/n: sorry this took so long to post and make. Semester is already kicking my ass and making me stress. Hope you enjoy and have a fantastic night.

It had been a week since you’ve seen Thomas. Since you told him that you wanted to help him. At first, he was very confused. He had expected you to be angry with him or maybe even cry. But you had asked to help assassinate a general with him.

“Im not getting you involved”

You ignored him already piecing together what the plan might be, “You wrote down, 23-24 seconds? Your gonna kill this guy in that a mount of time with a guard outside and possible more inside. Plus the guy fought so he’ll know self defense…” You had begun rambling and he was just baffled.

“Stop.” He told you, you were making some good points but he didn’t want to bring you in this mess. It was his alone that he must face.

Before the two of you can argue any further, Ada called for him. A phone call she had said. He left you room and never came back. And that was a week ago. You annoyingly asked her everyday and night when he was to return. Now that you knew of the plans and what he was involved in, you couldn’t just let it go. It was dangerous, you knew that. It wasn’t your run of the mill assassination. You don’t know how Thomas was going it on his own or how he even planned on doing it. You had heard the Inspectors words. You know that that held animosity toward the peaky blinder. You can hear in his voice, you felt it in his punches. There was no way that he would give him everything he promised. Thomas needed to be one step ahead of the game. Which you were already conducting for him. You weren’t sleeping as much at night anymore anyway so writing down every scenario and idea you had. And then when that week was done you had it.

“Ada, Ada, ada.” You ran through the halls calling for her.

“What is it?” She asks coming out of her sons bedroom, probably fishing tucking him in for the night.

“Your home in Birmingham, I need the address. Or the pub your brother owns.” You say to her with paper and pencil in hand ready to write down what she tells you.

“Why?” Ada raises an eyebrow before passing you to go to her own room. You follow her.

“Ada please.”

“Why are your trying to see my brother? Didn’t you tell me you weren’t gonna work for him?”

“I never said that.”

“What do you like him or something?” Ada fake gags at her own words. Your cheeks warm a little bit but you keep a serious face as you tap the pencil to the paper.

“Its not like that.”

She stares at you long and hard. “I called him for help when you never came home. The man rushed over here like you wouldn’t believe.”

“Ada, an address.”

“ (y/n) your my friend and hes also my brother I just-“

“Its just business.” You scoff at her.

She sighs, “He had someone about a year ago. She was the barmaid at the pub.”

“I’m not interested in your brothers history.” You can feel your temper rising at this topic jumping she was doing to you. It wasn’t about what she was implying at all. You wanted to help him that was all. You didn’t care about who he was with years ago or even now.

“You are in his whereabouts.”

You bite the inside of your cheek. Ada tilts her head and smiles, thinking she’s got you. You turn around ready to leave to your room when she finally spills the address for you.

***************************************************************

You stood outside the building where Ada told you was Thomas’s office. You hoped he was there to hear you out. You were going to try to convince him but you had no certainty that you would succeed. You walked inside to find a bunch of woman inside talking. One was short and very pregnant, the other tall and slender and the last one a bit older but looked the scariest out of all of them. They stopped talking as soon as you entered.

“Umm excuse me…” You stuttered under their judging glares “Im looking for Thomas Shelby.”

At first none of them say anything. They continue to stare at you. You meet the older ones eyes. You regret it instantly as you feel a fearful shudder go down your spine. That was a woman you did not want to mess with.

“What do you need with mr. Shelby?” the tall one asks

“Look at her Liz, what do you think she’s here for to take your place,” the pregnant one snickers.

“Shut up Esme.” The older one says.

“I just wanted to talk…if he’s not here….” You trail off.

A door in the back opens and out walks the devil himself. He glances up expecting only the three woman from himself maybe Michael or Finn and instead finding one more woman amongst the group; you.

“(Y/n).” he simply states putting his hands in his pockets.

You don’t say anything observing how awkward and tense you feel with these women.

The older one speaks up, “Is this how your getting my son out of jail, Tommy. By fucking some whore?” She spats at him venom filling her voice.

You’re about to speak up for yourself when Thomas opens his mouth first.

“She’s not a whore, Polly. And Michael will be out soon. (Y/n) step inside..” He gestures for you to go in to his office. You feel very heavy under all their stares as you walk. You remember the name Michael. He was the young boy at the horse auction you had met.

Thomas closes the door after you. You sit down crossing your legs and lacing your fingers together. Thomas sat next to you on the chair rather than across.

“You’re looking better.” He says noticing the bruises on your face were fading.

“Thank you,” You say, “They seemed on edge, is everything all right?”

“That’s just the way they are.” He says.

You don’t say anything and just stare him. You knew he was lying. He chokes under your gaze.

“Arthur and Michael are in jail. I’m working on it though.” He says swallowing hard. You didn’t press further, you could tell he was having a rough time.

“I hope it works out.” You say, you clear your throat and adjust your self on the chair, “You shouldn’t kill the general at his house.” You spit out.

“Jesus Christ Woman.” He says shaking his head.

“Hear me out.” You plead.

“Why do you want to do this?”

You ignore him. Instead you tell him your whole plan. How he could kill two birds with one stone.

“If your still going to Epsom, you can get Sabini. Maybe not kill him but screw him over. Are you still seeing May?”

He nods.

“Good you probably already know she’s got influence on the board. You use that to your advantage when you take Sabini men licenses. You go through her to get your men to what they need. Then the races are yours.”

“How will we burn their licenses when theres fukin police everywhere.

“They wont be around when they hear gunshots.”

He takes a moment letting your words and plan sink in. He rubs his lip.

“We could burn the license’s gonna have to threaten them to take it,” He says muttering to himself, “The general why would he even go there?”

The two of you talk for hours inside that little office of his. Drinking and talking of the plan. He tried to shut it down multiple times, trying to get you think twice about getting involved. But your mind was already made up. He seemed to like you idea, adding on to yours and even sharing details of the private mission of to you. It was like a weight lifted off his shoulders as he told you the how he had even gotten involved in this political mess. Soon the drinks clouded both your minds and it was no longer business that you were just talking about.

“So what you want out of this?”

“You said the government involved right with this…the prime minister knows what your doing?”

“Aye…”

“Then maybe he could get me a new name or-“

“Why do you need that?” He asks you

“You can never live just one life…” You smile trying to joke.

He stares at you intently, “Why did your father lock you up in that place?”

Your smiles drops, he notices it his eyes softening just a bit. “Sorry, it just came up in my head.”

“Do I sound crazy to you or something?”

“Its just a question ive had in my head for awhile. Its none of my business.” He stares at you deeply.

“No its not,” You say softly, “I don’t know why he put me there either. Maybe cause he could. I mean I never asked him.”

“So when you get your new name what are you gonna do? Ride out in the hills, find a husband, push a few kids.”

You laugh at him, he smiles when the sound hits his ears. “You should smile more, Mr.Shelby.”

“Tommy. Why do you call me by my last name.”

“Its too make sure you don’t get comfortable. This,” you gesture to the two of you, “is strictly business.”

“Why of course. Another drink?” He asks getting up for more whiskey. You nod. Your cheeks were flushed and head dizzy. You were beginning to forget what self control was. You mouth moving before you can even comprehend your next thought.

“Ada told me how you had someone last year.”

He stops pouring the drinks to look at you. His back stiff and free hand curled into a fist.

You continue talking, not looking at him. You weren’t looking at nothing in particular really. “I never had anyone.” His figure relaxes when he looks you more closely. Your body a bit limp, eyes glossy, your speech a bit slurred. You didn’t hold your liquor too good.

“What else did Ada say?”

You giggle remembering. Ada thinking you had a thing for her brother. How ludicrous! You glance toward the man, a little smirk resting on his pink lips and head tilting toward you. His blue eyes shining at you with an emotion you couldn’t quite detect. A strange feeling flutters in your stomach. You stop giggling and clear your throat.

“I think I should go. It was good talking to you.” You stand up way too fast. You begin to see black spots all over and the loss of balance.

‘Fuck’ you think to yourself, thinking about how your gonna embarrass

yourself falling to the floor.

But then you feel a pair of hands grab at your arms and spin you around. You fall into Mr.Shelbys chest and for a moment he holds you there. And for that moment you smelled the cologne and whisky on his clothes. You felt the calluses on his rough hands against your soft skin. You felt the slight beating of his heart in his chest. You think if you look up you’ll get to see if the blues in his eyes are as clear as you think em to be.

But the moment is gone an you both step away from each other, awkwardly. You swaying on your feet trying to regain balance and him hitting the drawer behind him.

“You shouldn’t go home at this time (Y/N)” he finally says deciding to ignore what just happened. Which was fine with you. You felt very nervous all of a sudden and very, very confused.

“Come with me.” He says taking you by the crook of your elbow and leading you out of the building. You didn’t want to admit that you liked the way it felt when he had grabbed you and the two of you walked out together, you couldn’t help but think of when and if he would do it again.

Read Pt.10

Tags

@captivatedbycillianmurphy @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat @evelyn-4034

@ms-dont-care

#peaky blinders #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x you #tommy shelby #peaky blinder fanfic

59 notes · View notes

bakubitch-minusultra · 3 years

Text

Not Alone: Chapter Nine

-> an apocalyptic series with bnha characters but without quirks because im the writer and i can do whatever the fuck i want :P bruh its 3:45 in the morning and i have a softball game in six hours but fuck sleep right? This is the l o n g e s t chapter ive written and it took hours i was writing it while listening to true crime podcasts lol new characters unlocked

-> Word Count: 6.9k haha n i c e

-> Warnings: pervy doods, blood, sexual assault, violence, guns

-> Taglist: @5sosfckss @laudthingcat [if u wanna be added lmk <3]

The sunlight coming in the window blinded Y/n as she woke up disoriented. She shivered from the cold breeze that came from down the hall. She noticed she was lying on Kirishima still and smiled, thinking about the night before. But stopped when she noticed that his shirt was soaked in cold sweat.

Tears streamed down her cheeks, “No. No.” She pushed him and his body compressed against her push, but he didn’t stir.

“Y/n what is it?” Mina came running in the room.

Kirishima sputtered and snorted. He rolled over knocking Y/n off and onto the floor. She started to laugh, “He’s alive. I thought… He’s cold. Oh my god he’s alive. His fever broke. He’s going to live.” Y/n jumped up and grabbed the next vial of medication.

Mina rushed to his side and felt his face, “Oh fuck, I was scared. I thought for sure he was gone.” Mina hugged her when she came back. Mina smelt like Hades and Y/n smirked. They had traded sleeping partners for the night.

Y/n hugged her back, but noticed the difference in their bodies. Mina was melded into Y/n, squeezing her where as Y/n was rigid.

They gave him his next shot and pulled the bandages off his leg. The red lines had receded but the wound still looked red and angry. She knew they weren’t out of the danger zone, but she felt good knowing that they were one step closer.

He slept the entire day and Mina and Y/n hung out. They took turns keeping watch and playing with Hades. Y/n could see Hades’s affinity towards Mina getting stronger. She knew that even she felt different. She was getting closer to Mina and Kirishima.

“Y/n what’s for dinner?”

Y/n shrugged down at Mina from the window of the barn, “I can go kill a bird.”

Mina nodded, “Alright. I’ll start the fire.”

They sealed up the house completely and decided to cook in the bunker. It was gross and sweaty with a fire down there, but it made perfect sense. No smell escaped out into the wind.

She climbed down with her bow and quiver and headed across the grass. She slipped into the forest, but instead of finding a tree to climb she froze. She smelled them before she could see or hear them. She slid against the tree and waited to figure out where the smell was coming from.

“It was rude of you to leave without the escort we offered.”

Y/n turned to the voice but something smacked her in the forehead and everything went black.

Xxxx

“Wake up.” Pain overwhelmed her as she opened one of her eyes. She saw bars in front of her face. “Please wake up.”

In the muted firelight she could see a girl poking her with a stick. It made a small cut on her arm, but that wasn’t where the pain was coming from. She closed her eyes tightly and then opened them again. It was dark, the firelight licked across the dark metal bars of her cage. She turned to the girl.

“Where are we?”

“The others have us.” The girl said. Y/n’s stomach fell into her bowels. Her heartbeat and breath quickened. She pushed the door to the cage with her foot. Her boots were gone.

“Where are we specifically?”

The girl frowned at Y/n, “What?”

“Our location.”

The girl shrugged. She was skinny and filthy. She made Y/n think about Mina, which made her panic. She wondered if they knew where Mina and Kirishima were. She saw her bow and quiver leaning against the tree near her.

“There she is.”

Y/n looked up at the filthy scumbag who had chased her into town. He was grinning again. He seemed very proud of himself. “You’re a pretty girl. What’s your name? I bet it’s something pretty like Jessica or Stephanie or Grace.” Y/n licked her lips and put a finger to the source of her pain. He winced as she touched the red sticky spot. “Sorry ‘bout that. I had to surprise you. Bet it hurts doesn’t it.” He kneeled on the ground in front of her cage. “Wanna tell me about how you got outta town?”

Y/n gulped.

He rattled the cage suddenly and started laughing at her horrified expression. “Jesus you aren’t mute are you? I like it when you girls scream.” He pointed to the girl next to Y/n. “I guess we can make her scream for you.”

The girl shied away from the bars and curled into a small ball. Y/n wanted him dead. Right now.

He pointed at Y/n again, “You’re going to fetch us a good price. I know it.”

Fear rocked Y/n. She didn’t have a plan. That was one of her rules. Her plans where capture was a possibility had never included a cage. She always thought the girls were grabbed and dragged to trucks.

He walked back to the fire and howled into the night air. She watched as he unzipped his pants and peed on the fire.

“Jesus Christ that’s disgusting you fucker.” The hot steam rose from the fire, polluting the air around it. A large group of men started to bitch and complain. Y/n looked at the girl who had a disgusted look on her face.

“I don’t know about you but I don’t want that inside me.” Y/n gasped at her language. The girl grinned at her, “Names Jirou.”

“I’m Y/n.” Y/n looked around for Mina and Kirishima but she didn’t see them anywhere. “How old are you, Jirou?” She asked softly.

Jirou spat on the ground outside of her bars, “Sixteen.” She was malnourished. She would be made to work the farms. She wouldn’t be a breeder.

Y/n wouldn’t let either of them end up that way. She saw a small silver thing on the ground and looked at Jirou.

“Poke that stick this way again.”

She slipped her skinny arm through the bars and passed it to Y/n. Y/n looked back at the men. They were getting drunk and the fire was starting to dim. She flicked at the silver thing and dragged it back to her with several small movements. It was an old rusty nail with a silver tip. She reached her fingers through the bars and grabbed it.

“How old are you?” Jirou asked, watching the men.

“Nineteen.”

“You look older.”

Y/n wanted to frown at her, but the nail in her hands felt too amazing to bother. She passed Jirou the nail, “Pick your lock.”

She eyed it smiling, “Wow you’re good.” She reached her hands through the bars. Jirou made funny faces and then Y/n heard the clunk of the lock. She picked the lock faster than Y/n did. Y/n had only ever picked a couple.

She nodded, “Mom says we have to do whatever it takes to not be a breeder. I will die before I go there.” Her words reminded Y/n of the girl in the back of the truck who screamed. She felt sick. She was even more determined to save Jirou. The rusty nail clanked in the lock. “Want me to do it?”

Y/n gave her a look, “They’ll notice your tiny arm slipping through to my cage.” She fumbled with it again. “Dipshit is coming back.” She pulled her arm in and sat on the nail.

He grinned at Y/n, “I think I wanna taste the merchandise before I give it away.” He pulled a key out of his pants and licked his lips. He got down on the ground in front of her cage and stuck the key in. “You’re gonna like this.”

Y/n felt like throwing up.

He opened the door and reached in lightning fast. His huge hand grabbed her thin wrist and clamped down. He dragged her from the cage. She kicked at him but he was too strong. He pinned her to the ground on her stomach and pulled her hair, whispering into her ear, “Scream and I slit your throat.” He let go of her hair with force and shoved her face into the pine needles and dirt. Y/n coughed and choked. Her eyes flickered at Jirou.

“Don’t do this in front of her,” Y/n begged.

He shoved her face in the pine needles again, “She needs educating. Where you two are going, you’ll both be needing to know how to make a man happy. Think of me as your teacher.”

Y/n felt him grind himself against her and threw up. She couldn’t stop herself. She didn;t have anything in her stomach but bile filled her mouth. She spat it to the side of her face, scared that he would rub her face in it.

He pulled her pants down and she felt his hands on her underwear. She wanted to scream and fight but her hands were pinned. If she screamed, he’d kill her. She made the snap decision that death would be better than this and opened her mouth to scream, only to feel him put all his weight on her.

“Shhh Y/n. Don’t scream. We need to go now. Before they find him.”

Tears sprung from her eyes as she looked back and saw his open eyes still staring at her. The rusty nail stuck out only a little bit from his head, next to his eye. Blood trickled down his face.

Jirou heaved him off of Y/n quietly. The fire was only twenty feet from them and she could see that the group of men had dwindled. They must have gone to sleep. Y/n pushed herself up and grabbed her pants. She saw her knife in his boot and took it, holding it tightly. She wanted to stab him so bad.

Jirou grabbed her hand and pointed to the woods.

They walk hunched over. Y/n grabbed her boy and quiver and followed Jirou into the forest. They ran fast, even though they were barefoot. She recognized the forest after a few moments. Even in the dark she knew where they were.

“Oh shit.”

Y/n stopped after hearing Jirou speak. She was preparing for the worst but instead it was the best. She saw yellow eyes glowing in the dark. She quickly dropped to her knees, ignoring the branches that cut her skin. His paws were around her neck within seconds. His warm breath was in her hair. She started to cry and Hades held her like a mother would a child, and she elt soothed.

“He’s yours?”

Y/n nodded through the tears, “Hades.”

“He’s a big dog.”

Y/n smiled, “He’s a wolf. A tundra wolf.”

“Well we better get moving before they find us.”

Y/n stood and ran toward the farmhouse. She knew it was through the woods and not far. They could hide there until the men were gone. Her brain couldn’t seem to make her own survival important. She needed to know if Kirishima and Mina were safe. Jirou ran as fast as Y/n did. Her footsteps were a whisper in the grass beside Y/n. Y/n burted through the door. The house was dark and silent.

“Mina? Kirishima?” The living room was empty. The blankets were gone. She didn’t know where to go. She didn’t know where Mina and Kirishima would have gone. She ran down the basement steps into the bunker. Nothing was there. She ran back up the stairs, “We need to go hide. They’re gone. They might be looking for me.”

“Who?”

“My friends.” The words felt funny in her mouth.

Y/n grabbed Jirou’s sweaty fingers in the dark and pulled her back out to the barn. They slipped inside the dark of the barn. She dropped to her knees in the hay and felt for the hatch. It had hay glued on top of it. It was impossible to find even in the bright of day. She only found it because it was open when she arrived.

“Hurry climb down here.”

Hades jumped down into the whole like he had before many times. Jirou felt for Y/n in the dark and then the hatch. Y/n climbed down after her and pulled the huge hatch back over the hole.

Y/n felt around in the silence for a stool. She sat and suddenly the pain in her feet was overwhelming. She knew they had been cut.

“Did your feet get cut?”

Jirou was closer than Y/n thought, she whispered right in Y/n’s face, “No. My mom made us walk and run in the woods barefoot all the time. They always take the shoes.”

“Smart.”

“Yeah mom was a warden at a maximum security prison before. She says she knows all the worst things people can do and she knows why they do it.”

Y/n shivered at the thought.

They don’t hear voices or any noises. Eventually Y/n fell asleep on the wooden floor against the warm fur of Hades. Jirou slept against her. Y/n’s feet pounded too hard for her to get a good nights sleep.

Xxxx

“It’s been five days Y/n. He walks to the same spot and makes weird noises. I have a hunting hound. He does the same thing when he wants me to follow him. We need to get following him in the woods.” Jirou had not stopped talking for five days. Mom this and Mom that. Y/n didn’t know what to do to make her quiet. She didn’t take Y/n’s silence as a hint. “Yup that wolf is trying to tell us the way to go to find them. Are your feet better?”

Y/n looked at the cuts on the bottom and nodded, “They have scabs.” She rubbed salve into the bottoms of her feet and pull her socks over the scabs. She pulled on the boots she had stored in the farmhouse bunker ages ago.

Jirou threw a huge bone for Hades. He ran to get it and chewed it in the field, “Not so sharp is he? My hound brings it back.”

Y/n looked at the bone and grimaced, “Is that a human bone?”

Jirou shrugged, “Does it matter?”

Hades picked up the long thin bone and walked toward the same spot in the field like he had for the past five days and whined.

“Okay let’s follow him then.” Y/n slung on her backpack and looked back at the farmhouse. She had left a note in the bunker under the barn. Mina knew it was her favorite hiding place. Y/n’s heart hurt and she decided to not look behind her. She didn;t run through the field. Hades trotted along like a real dog. He didn’t wait at the meeting tree.

Nothing was the same.

She opened the cabin door and suddenly her life felt lost. She knew she would regret opening that stupid door and helping Mina. But she never imagined her regret would be being separated from them.

Her heart hurt when she thought about the kisses she shared with Kirishima. Her stomach hurt when she thought about Mina being taken.

Hades picked up the pace as they entered the woods.She reached out and brushed her fingers along the meeting tree. Instead of going the way home to the cabin he cut a hard left and they climbed a different hill.

“So then when I was twelve she says she wants to try to go to the city. So we get all dressed up and I mean bathed and spiffy. We walk all the way to the city but they don’t just let us in. We have to go through a bunch of tests and other nonsense. The city was brand new. It looked like nothing I’ve ever seen. Anyway they come to us in the bright white clothes and make me take all my brand new clean clothes off. They burned them. Mom was mad then. My aunt failed the diabetes test they gave us and so if we wanted to go into the city we would have to leave her behind. No diabetes in the city. Mom said they could shove that up their asses. So we left the city. My other aunt got grabbed there. Mom thinks it was because she tested healthy they told the bad ones to take her to the breeder farms. They drove up in their trucks and held guns on us. They dragged her into the truck. She screamed and reached for us. Mom never moved. She just watched. I never saw my aunt again.” Her story was the story of thousands of women.

“I’ve seen them taken too. They always leave the kids behind.”

Jirou put a finger to her lips, “Shh you hear that?”

Y/n listened. All she heard was her own heartbeat and it dawned on her that as Jirou chatted on, she listened to the forest the way Y/n does. Y/n doesn’t hear them. No birds, no squirrels. She stopped walking. She pulled an arrow instantly and held the bow ready.

A branch broke to the side of them. She swung the bow with the arrow trembling in her hands. A huge black bear groaned and walked past them to the ridge below them. Hades growled and crouched. He looked at Y/n but she shook her head.

They didn’t turn their backs on it. They walked up the hill backwards until the bear was far enough away. Hades’s dark hackles stayed up until he started sniffing the ground again. He wandered in a circle for a bit.

“So then I was saying to Mom… hey look I think he has a smell. Not totally useless is he?”

Y/n glared at her.

Jirou put her hands up, “What? He’s no hound but I think he’s got the scent.”

They followed him through the thick woods until he suddenly stopped waking. They hiked for hours and that was the most animated she had seen him. He growled in his low town and crawled along the forest floor on his belly. They follow him low to the ground. Y/n was scanning the forest but she saw nothing.

“There.” Jirou pointed to a man wearing camouflage high up in a tree. He held a sniper rifle. There was no way they wouldn’t get around him. She pulled her bow out but Jirou stopped her hand and pointed to a man in another tree just behind him.

“We wait for dark,” Jirou whispered.

Y/n looked at Jirou and frowned, “Where’s your home?”

Her brown eyes look haunted. “It’s back closer to the town by the big river. Mom was taken when they were looking for some girl. They searched all the houses and found my aunt and mom hiding. They didn’t find me. I snuck out the back and over the pointy log wall. The others snatched me outside the gates. The hunters were long gone though, so they were gonna wait for them to come back.”

“It was me,” the words slipped from Y/n’s mouth. Jirou crouched in some larger bush and sat, waiting for nightfall. Y/n spoke after a while. She felt awkward in Jirou’s silence. She was never silent. “I can help you find your mom.”

“She never got taken.”

“Where’d she go?”

“Knowing mom she went to hell. She was a mean and spiteful woman. Full of piss is what my aunt said.”

It hit Y/n like a club to the face, “She died?”

Jirou glanced at her, “I told you what she always said. You do whatever it takes to not go there. They woulda put her in the fields anyway. Her insides were injured having me. She couldn’t have more kids.”

Y/n wanted to cry. Jirou had a mother. She had someone. Y/n felt like it was her fault somehow.

“I’m really sorry Jirou. Do you have anywhere you can go? Do you have other people?”

Jirou shook her head, “Nope. It was me, mom and my aunt.”

Y/n decided she wouldn’t ever leave her. No matter what she wouldn’t leave her.

The day faded to night slowly. Spring was further along and the days were longer. The cool air was still fresh and crisp but the sun was getting warmer.

Hades slept again Y/n and Jirou whittled a small piece of wood. She passed the finished product to Y/n. She didn’t know what it was.

“It’s a rook.”

Y/n raised an eyebrow.

“For chess,” she said it like Y/n was an idiot.

“The game?”

Jirou nodded and smiled, “I’m making the pieces for a board. I guess I have to start over. Mine were in our village.”

Y/n looked confused, “You have a village?”

Jirou shook her head, “Nope. Had. The others came last month and burned it to the ground.”

“Life’s hard, Jirou. I’m convinced the god that everyone talked about before, hates us.”

Jirou’s eyes hardened and she pulled her dark blue hair back from her face, “Don’t ever say that. No matter what we have to believe that he’s going to help us. The evil is us.”

Hades jumped but it was too late. As she heard the branch snap behind her she saw a blak hood go over Jirou’s face. Y/n jumped but the guns were on her.

“What’ve got here?” The man standing before Y/n was grinning. He held a rifle to her face.

Hades was ready to attack but Y/n put her hand out, “No Hades. No.” He looked at her face confused. She could see it in her eyes. She shook her head and then looked at the man. “We’ll walk with you but you can’t put that over my head. If he can’t see my eyes he’s going to lose it and kill at least one of you.”

He nodded, “You walk with the wolf. I’ll kill him if I have to.” He removed the hood from Jirou who looked at Hades. Y/n gave her a sharp look. She knew the desperation on Jirou’s face was trying to over take, Y/n felt the same way. But they couldn’t win the fight. They could die like her mom.

One of the other guys with a gun smirked at Y/n. He was young and bold looking. He spoke to Y/n and she could hear the smile on his face, “I’d ask if you were spies for the other but you’re girls. What girls would help them out? So that leaves me with only one assumption,” He grinned and nudged Y/n, “You’re lookin for a date.”

Y/n doesn’t speak.

Jirou snorted, “You wish. No we’re looking for our friends. The other had us but we got away.” Y/n shot her a dirty look and Jirou scowled. “Don’t give me that look Y/n. Mom says we need to remember some ways of the world before an manners is one of the things we all seem to forget about.”

The man with the gun grinned, “Her mom sounds like the kind of girl we are always looking for. Warm my bed, bake my bread and say please and thank you like a lady should.”

Jirou shoved him, “My mom never warmed no man’s bed. She wasn't no lady. She was a survivor.” The man shoved Jirou back and Y/n caught her.

“Easy kid.”

The leader got in Y/n’s face with his gun. Y/n looked into his dark red eyes angrily, “Her mom just died creating a diversion for her to escape the hunters.” He made a face that surprised Y/n, remorseful.

“I’m sorry Jirou, is it? Never speak ill of the dead, unless they’re the monsters who started all of this.” He held his hands out.”

Jirou sniffed and wiped her nose on her arm, “It’s nothing. She died the way she wanted.” Y/n knew the pain Jirou felt and the strength she hid behind. The leader's eyes told her that he did too.

Hades nudged against her. He was nervous and whined. She looked as they entered a huge camp. The fires were lit making the woods smoky and smelled of food. Her mouth watered as her stomach grumbled. She didn’t the last time she actually ate.

“New recruits?” A man asked, looking Y/n up and down and nodded his head. Hades lunged at him. Y/n seriously thought the wolf could read minds, and that man’s mind was not pure. He jumped back, “Holy shit is that a wolf?”

Y/n laughed, she couldn’t help herself. Hades was hovering over him snarling. The men who had escorted them laughed at the fallen men and Y/n called him, “Hades.”

He snarled once more and ran to Y/n’s side. He stood tall and proud with his chest out. He snarled at everyone.

“You have my friends here don’t you?”

The man with the smile frowned, “Who?”

“A girl and a guy. They’re really good friends.”

His eyes narrowed, “No one’s come recently. Except you.”

“Don’t lie to me. He’s tall with red hair and red eyes. He has an injury on his leg. She’s younger and about my size. She has pink hair and black eyes. They’re really close.”

He shook his head, “Look we don’t have anyone here. We don’t take prisoners.”

Y/n looked at the guns surrounding them and raised her eyebrows.

He laughed, “You were spying on us and have a huge wolf as a pet.”

Y/n didn’t laugh. She wanted Kirishima and Mina,”

Jirou gave Y/n a look, “Why would he bring us here if they’re not here?”

Y/n shrugged, “The smell of food.”

The guy with the gun in her face pointed at Hades, “Keep him under control and we can drop the weapons.”

Y/n patted Hades on the head and scratched his ears. He shook his head once. He was still agitated,

The camp was like nothing Y/n had ever seen. It reminded her of the band of merry men Robin Hood joined in the forest.

She heard a noise she had never heard before. She turned her head when she saw where it came from. A small boy with white blond hair ran past her. He had his arms stretched out. He latched onto Hades, making her jump to his rescue but Hades looked at her and lowered her body for the child.

“Andy no, Not the wolf. Oh my god I’m so sorry.” A dark haired woman walked up to Y/n. She looked older, maybe thirty. She was dressed in a long gathered skirt and a blouse. She was pretty in a simple way. She looked at Jirou and smiled motherly. “We need to get you cleaned up and get some food in that belly. You look like you must be starved.” She looked at the man next to Y/n, “Watch him for me while I get her taken care of?”

The man nodded and kneeled next to the boy who was shrieking and hugging her wolf. Hades panted, contented.

“His name’s Hades. Be careful, okay Andy.” The man put a hand out for Hades to sniff.

Jirou gave her a pleading look as she was getting dragged off. Y/n wanted to reach for her but she didn’t. The woman with the black hair had dark doe eyes that instantly made Y/n feel comfortable.

Y/n looked around and noticed that there were fires everywhere. Small tents lined the forest and lean-tos were staggered amongst them. She had never seen anything like it. Clothes hung from lines in the trees. The canopy provided the perfect shelter. She felt like she had entered a sacred site. Everyone was busting about, as if on a mission.

“This is like the Shire.”

“You’ve read The Hobbit?”

Her neck almost snapped as she looked back him,”Yeah, have you?”

He nodded and patted Hades once more.

“Wolfie wolfie wolfie.” The white haired angel cries into Hades’s dark fur. He looked down with the hug and struggled to escape.

“He’s done.”

The man pulled the boy off, making him make an ungodly noise, “Nooo Bakugo. I wanna hug the wolfie. I wanna wolfie. Miiiine.”

Y/n gasped, “Bakugo?” The eyes and the smile. He looked almost exactly how they described him. “Mina and Kirishima’s friend Bakugo?”

His face dropped, “Mina and Kirishima? My friends?” Y/n nodded. His face grew savage. He let go of the boy and gripped her arm harshly. He shouted in her face, “Where are they?”

Y/n pointed, “I thought they were here.”

Hades didn’t like the struggle going on. He lept in between them and knocked Bakugo to the ground. He had him by the scruff of his shirt and was making a noise she had never heard before.

“Hades.”

He ignored Y/n. She sat on the ground and made a whistle sound and Hades tugged once more on his shirt before backing away. He turned and sauntered towards her. He was overwhelmed. She was overwhelmed. He curls onto her lap and as she stroked his ears while he trembled.

Bakugo stood up and walked toward Y/n. Hades growled and snarled in her lap. She looked up at Bakugo.

“I wouldn’t move if I were you.”

His dark eyes played in the dim light of dusk, “They’re alive?”

“Last time I saw them.”

His jaw tenses up.

Y/n turned to see a rugged man walk up to where they were, “Bakugo I need to go over some things with you.”

The white haired boy saw the man and started his tirade all over again. He was stomping his feet and pointing at Hades who trembled. She wrapped her arms around him and glared at the young boy. She hated children.

“Stop that you little brat. You’ll get us all killed,” Y/n hissed at him. The noise would no doubt draw the others or worse.

Bakugo laughed at her but his expression was lost.

Jirou walked over to Y/n in a clean dress with patches. Her hair was slicked back and wet. She was holding a platter of sorts covered in meat and something white.

“Y/n thith ith cheeth. You have to have thum.” Her mouth was near bursting as she spoke. Y/n grimaced watching her stuff her mouth. She sat beside Hades and Y/n. He raised his face instantly and started eating from Jirou’s plate.

Hades was making his weird wolf noise that he made when he was happy. It almost sounded like a cat purring but lower and deeper inside of him.

The platter was empty and Y/n had had nothing. She couldn’t stop looking up at Bakugo, who was talking to another man. He glanced at Y/n every now and then. She could tell that he wanted to talk to her.

“The people I’m looking for, Mina and Kirishima, Bakugo is their friend.” She pointed to him subtly.

Jirou raised an eyebrow, “You think that’s why Hades brought us here?”

Y/n shrugged, “Maybe. I think he smelled the food.”

Jirou grinned with food in her teeth, “Thank god for Hades and his belly.”

“I’m worried about where they are though. If they’re not here, where could they have gone?”

“The farms,” Jirou said nonchalantly, even though Y/n knew that Jirou feared the idea of it whether he had met them or not.

Y/n’s skin prickled thinking about them in the farms. Mina was old enough to be put to ‘work’ and Kirishima was strong. He would be made to work hard labor.

Y/n looked up and saw people eyeballing them. They pretended to be working near them, but they watched Hades as he ate. It made Y/n smile. If only they know how much of a pussycat he was.

She felt fingers bite into her skin, “Wolfie mine!” He shouted in her face. The little brat was back. She hated him. His greedy little fingers were wiping an orange paste on her shirt. She leaned away from him.

“Don’t look so horrified. He’s just a kid.” Bakugo picked the little monster up and carried him back to the doe eyed lady. Y/n felt sorry for her. She thought that her life must be horrid. Y/n looked at the orange stain mixed with debris smeared across her sleeve

She glanced up at Bakugo, “Is there somewhere I can wash up?”

He nodded at the dark haired lady, “Mary can take you.”

Mary smiled, “Followed me.” She passes the evil beast with the white hair to a man next to her. Y/n looked at Jirou who nodded.

“Just don’t get roped into the dress and them brushing your hair. It’s a bad experience. Hades is fine here with me.”

Y/n walked away from Hades, she knew that he would see the fear in her eyes and follow. She didn’t want him anywhere near the little monster

“You’ve never seen a child before have you?” Mary asked sweetly as they walked past a grouping of tents and lean-tos. She led her down a steep narrow dirt path.

“Not in over ten years. Just the ones left behind when the mom’s get taken. I don’t hang around long enough to get to the know them though.”

“That’s horrible. You leave little kids alone?”

Y/n didn’t care if she judged her. She was alive, “I was a kid too Mary. I barely took care of myself and Hades.”

Mary crossed her arms, “He gets tired once it’s after six. He really is a sweet boy. Once you get to know him, you’ll love him.”

She tried not to be rude but spoke her mind, “He will get you killed with noises like that. The infected love noisy things that lead to food.”

Mary looked back aghast, “We never leave camp. None of the children do.”

“So you have an agreement with the infected and the others that they stay out of your camp so the kids can be as noisy as they want?” Her sarcasm was filled with more sarcasm.

Mary laughed, “You really don’t have any social skills do you

She shrugged, “I’ve made it this long out there, alone.”

Mary looked shocked, “How long have you been alone.”

Y/n sighed, “Since the beginning.”

The walls surrounding the water were high and rocky. Nothing could get to the massive lagoon of crystal clear dark green water. The only visible path was the one she was standing on. She pulled her boots and socks off. Her scabs stung on the dirt and rocks. She pulled down her pants and ripped off her shirt. She ran down the remainder of the path. She ran onto the huge flat rocks that made a platform and dived in. The cold ripped through her instantly but she had never felt this clean. She remembered her baths as a small kid. They were filled with bubbles and hard plastic mermaids. This was much better. The freshness of the water made her feel alive in a good way. She lied on her back and floated.

She looked over at Mary as she jumped off the rock. Y/n blushed as she entered the water with a big splash. Mary had been completely naked. Y/n had never seen another naked lady before.

Suddenly a noise ripped through the air. She turned as several people jumped into the water. The waves and splashes were taking over the lagoon.

“Oh my god it’s freezing.” Y/n saw a small blonde girl who was a little older than she was next to her. Her teeth chattered and suddenly Y/n realized that her teeth were chattering too.

In a split second a hand pushed Y/n underwater. She sputtered and coughed as she forced her head above the water.

“Hey are you okay,” a guy asked, Y/n assumed it was the one who had pushed her under. Everyone was staring at her and she ran.

She ran faster to get away from their voices. She felt like a freak. She made her way to the nearest fire. She was alone, until she felt the warm breath at her hip. His cold nose felt warm against her bare skin. Y/n went to go grab her dirty clothes but Mary was there, holding a pile.

“Here,” she said. She was dripping wet too. They stood looking at each other in the firelight. Mary was so beautiful in her soaked dress with the water dripping from her.

“Thanks,” Y/n took the pile and pulled on the shirt and pants over her soaked underwear. She pulled her bra off once the shirt was on and covered her.

Mary took it in her hand, “What’s your name?”

“Y/n.”

Mary leaned in and kissed Y/n on the cheek softly, “Y/n it’s okay. You’re safe here. No infection and no others and no military. We take care of each other.” She took Y/n’s soaking bra and pile of dirty clothes and left. Y/n stood by the fire and realized she had kissed her. She had liked that Mary kissed her. It was a nice feeling. Not nice the way Kirishima’s was. Hers was sweet and soft. It made her happy.

She looked down at Hades, who had turned his face in the light of the fire and whined. She patted his head and looked to where Mary walked. She dropped Y/n’s clothes into a basket and pointed to a bright orange glow in the woods across the camp. “Come to the fire. We sing and play guitar.”

Y/n pulled on her dry clothes and wrapped her arms around herself. Hades and Y/n followed Mary through the woods to where a large bonfire is burning. She could hear the music faintly in the crackle of the flames and embers. It was folk music, but better. She hadn’t heard music since before. She felt like an outsider but the people at the fire smiled at her. Someone shoved over on the log in front of her to make space. Hades watched her sit in a crowd. He didn’t know how to respond to it and whined a little.

Heat waves rose from the huge fire making it hard to see across where the musicians sre. The logs were built higher than the people sitting. She could make out a man with a small guitar. He was old and had a beard. A man started singing with the small guitars. His voice was incredible. It was raspy and sweet. Y/n was in a trance. She sat and closed her eyes. The music brought back something soft and sweet that she never knew she was missing. The sweet voice sent shivers down her spine and her throat was thick with unfelt emotions. They sat in a huge circle, warmed by the fire and the raw human emotions inside of the song. It was about love and sacrifice.

This was the greatest moment of her life. She had experienced nothing like this, even before. Time passed, she didn’t know how much. Songs were sung. Whiskey was passed and drank and swayed her body like everyone else. Her guard was not only lowered but completely destroyed.

In the light Y/n could see Mary. She sang and laughed and drank. Her eyes sparkled in the orange glow.

Slowly people trickled away from the fire. Hades had crept up and was lying at her feet. The pile of logs and lumber on the fire had burned down to ash and in the embers she had seen something she never expected. Bakugo was the singer with the haunting voice that had lit her up. He felt the music, she could see that. His eyes were closed and his fingers gently stroked the guitar. He finished the song and Y/n couldn’t help but see him differently.

He walked over to where she was sitting and sat down beside her.

“You’re a good singer.”

“We need to talk.”

Sitting beside him made her insides crawl.. He didn’t look sweet and soft like Mary did. He looked annoyed and angry with her. She felt intimidated by him. He didn’t seem like the goof Mina described. He was intense.

“I know you.”

His long legs seemed huge compared to hers. His were thick and strong looking. His face was handsome like Kirishima’s, but more commanding. She wanted to listen to him for some reason. She felt like he could keep her safe, like he did with everyone else there.

“So where are they?”

She shook her head and tried not to watch his mouth. “I don’t know. They were at my farmhouse last time I saw them?”

“How did thg look?

Y/n gulped, “Great. Kirishima was hurt a bit but I got him medicine. They were fine when I left though.”

“Where did you meet them?

“First my cabin,” She stated the story at the beginning and tried to not stare at his lips as he processed what she had to say. She wanted him to sing to her more.

im so tired holy fuck

15 notes · View notes