#and jack is like <3 >:) fuck you old man

[loving-jack-kelly]

jack and katherine dated for almost a year before breaking up extremely amicably and becoming the most chaotic besties ever. king and queen of yes anding, fully funded by a credit card stolen off of katherine's dad that she's told him would be homophobic to take back so he feels like he can't.

#i think modern au pulitzer is like. determined to prove he's not homophobic but also he is extremely classist and that's the issue #he's like of Course i don't mind that you're dating a woman. please consider breaking up with this particular woman as she is below our cla #could not care less about kat being bisexual but by god could she Please date somebody with a recognizable last name #kat has jack over for dinner when they're dating and Pulitzer is sitting there fuming. #they break up and he's like oh thank god two weeks later kat is like me and jack are going to France for fashion week #and pulitzer is like please not again. i hate that poor motherfucker. #and kat is like we are Not dating but he's my best friend. get used to it #and jack is like <3 >:) fuck you old man #newsies #jack kelly #katherine plumber

[aroacedavestrider]

hi 1 quastion . why did i actually just have to explain to a grown ass man why racism is Bad

#man was talking about free speech and censorship on the internet #'if a website is gonna start factchecking shit that is blatantly wrong- #-and shutting down accounts for nothing then they shouldnt be considered a neutral party. they should take responsibility' #YES WE LIKE THIS #'so shutting down donald trumps twitter was a stupid ass decision-' NO !!!! WE DONT LIKE THIS #and he literally leads into saying 'stuff like racism.. antisemitism sexism etc it sucks BUT' #'if you can go to the town hall and have a debate then you should be allowed to post your opinion on the internet' #!??!!!!!!! ??????????????? !!??!!!!!!!!!!!! BRO WHAT #you . you shouldnt fucking be allowed to DEBATE RACISM at the TOWN HALL ?? #'there are good opinions and there are bad opinions' ok why would you ENDORSE a bad opinion though #a bad opinion that gets people hurt?? killed?? ok so 50 year old jack posts smth racist on facebook #yeah his post specifically doesnt go out and kill someone but holy shit dude people see those ideologies #and they grow and spread around and holy shit why would you want to SPREAD RACISM whether its 'harmless' or not #or ANY bigoted fucking viewpoints at all holy shit #what the fuck is wrong with you <3 i hope you die and go to hell #delete later #free speech protects you from the government not the website dumbass

[waterinz]

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★˚˖𓍢ִִ໋🌊🦈˚˖𓍢ִ✧˚.‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚🎧⊹♡ ☆⋆｡

jjk men and their fav position

parings: s. gojo, s. geto, k. nanami, k. choso, f. toji, r sukuna.

warnings: smut, named positions, choking (sukuna), dacryphilia (toji and sukuna), pet names, praising (nanami, geto, gojo choso).

A/N: someone request something, PLEASE 🙏🙏

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★˚˖𓍢ִִ໋🌊🦈˚˖𓍢ִ✧˚.‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚🎧⊹♡ ☆⋆｡

Satoru Gojo: 100% mating press

His sinister grin was the only thing apart of your blurred vision, the position, the friction, the pace, it would’ve been damn near impossible to not fall in love with the way he fucked you, if y’all hadn’t already been dating. The amount of will he has over your body is crazy in that position, him being vocal as hell doesn’t help but god… it’s hot as fuck, him moaning whimpering or saying some vile shit in your ears like “fuck-.. if she doesn’t stop sucking me in like this, i might come a-already.”, “such a good girl” and other dirty things…

Suguru Geto: Spooning

As someone that’s always tired, this is perfect for him. Just being able to slide it in as y’all are laying down is the most ideal thing for him. Geto is a simple man that takes sex as a way to relax, relieve stress and relax the tension in your muscles.. but even with all those benefits and a girlfriend that he nicknamed “Jack-rabbit” simply because she couldn’t go a week without some kind of fucking. But one day he wanted to try something different. He laid on his side, you infront of him, grinding on you. This position gave him free access of your ass, tits, neck, and pretty much the rest of your body too.

Kento Nanami: Cowgirl/ Reverse Cowgirl

Now we know this old man is OLD fashioned as hell, probably alive during the BC and CE era, but one thing about him was.. he loved to fuck aswell. He loved the sight of his dick sliding in and out of that cunt while also seeing that white ring of cum being formed.

Kamo Choso: 69

He def seems like the type to not want to take control or advantage of you but still wanting a way to please you, so if there’s a way he can be pleased, AND please you? He’s down for it. Choso is probably really skilled at eating the box :3. Kissin it, small soft bites, licking anything that leaks out. :3

Toji Fushiguro: Full Nelson (especially infront of a mirror.)

Toji seems like the type to manhandle you. Folding and contorting your body past it’s limits, fucking you in unspeakable positions you can hardly manage. That shit eating grin, visibly displayed in the mirror. Choking you too, I mean it’s easy access. He manhandles you to your wits end and at this point, its painful as fuck, but hot ad fuck too. And your tears visible in the mirror too makes it so much better, well atleast to him…

Sukuna Ryomen: Missonary

Now sukuna doesn’t have a favorite position, he thinks every position that allows him to restrain you is perfect. But if he had to pick just ONE, it’d be missionary. Just being able to watch your face contort into expressions is literally heaven to him, and do not get me starteddddd on if he was in the big boy form. Easy access kissing, being able to fully restrain you under his touch and weight. His smirk that is displayed on his face could make you tremble just at the sight. And your tears visible? Yeah he would go all outttt…

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★˚˖𓍢ִִ໋🌊🦈˚˖𓍢ִ✧˚.‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚🎧⊹♡ ☆⋆｡

#waterinzwork🦈 #geto smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #toji smut #jjk smut #gojo satoru #gojo smut #geto suguru #nanami kento #nanami smut #choso kamo #choso smut #toji fushiguro #ryomen sukuna #sukuna smut #kamo ch

[nathaslosthershit]

Secret Daughter?

Summary: Fans are speculating as to who the child Jack and his girlfriend were spotted with is.

Liked by trevorzegras, jhugheswag, and 3,539 others

Nhlplayernews: Devils alternative captain & superstar, Jack Hughes, spotted looking pretty comfortable with alleged girlfriend & mysterious child. Could it be the center has been hiding a kid from the world?

user: remember when hockey was about the game?

user: You are on an insta page literally called “player news” dumbass.

user: guys it’s me and Jack’s kid leave us alone!

user: hey girly, I hate to be the one to do this…

user: Trevor liking this 💀

trevorzegras’s story

Replies:

Jackhughes: you are a fucking asshole you know that right?

Trevorzegras: 😎🫶🤑👍

Jackhughes: what the fuck-

It was a widely known fact that Jack Hughes was never one for interviews. No professional athlete ever really was into them with how often they were asked the same questions. But given his most recent injury, and his time off, he finally agreed after being forced asked to do one from the comfort of his own apartment. 

After 30 minutes of having to speak about his team’s playing in recent games, as well as details on his injury and when he is expected back, the end was finally in sight. There was little talk about Jack’s personal life, apart from if he had been talking to his brothers recently, which was quite frankly the most idiotic question. But he was happy, given the most recent rumors, the interviewer had not asked about Jack’s mysterious child he supposedly had and he had thought he had made it out, until…

The soft footsteps were almost inaudible, but as Jack had become accustomed to listening for them at all times, he had immediately heard Eva’s approach. After politely stopping the interviewer who was in the middle of asking what Jack did to fill his days now, the center turned to see his girlfriend’s little sister holding her blanket tightly with tear stained eyes. 

“Aw Eva, didn’t have a good nap?” Jack cooed.

“Bad dream” was all the child said. At this, he beckoned the child forward, letting her sit in his lap as she tried to calm down, still fighting those post-breakdown tears. 

Seeing that Jack was clearly locked in his own world, the interviewer cleared his throat.

“So, I assume this is the secret child we have been hearing a lot about recently?” He pressed.

“She is, but she isn’t my kid. She is my girlfriend’s little sister who is staying with us for a bit.” Jack was fine to clear up the fact that he was not a dad, but he didn’t feel the need to go into the heavy details on why Eva was staying with them. It wasn’t his place.

The interviewer went on to ask the 3 year old a few questions. What her favorite color was, what animals she liked, if she had a best friend, were all discussed at length. Jack was happy to have the spotlight off of him in his own interview, and his large smile as he looked down at the now happy and energetic girl was not unnoticed.

Once Eva’s interview was done, Jack, begrudgingly, went back to answering his, now with Eva settled into his lap. As he talked, she nuzzled into his chest as she went back to sleep. After noticing that she had dozed off, Jack knew he wasn’t going to be able to focus again on this interview, but luckily the man interviewing him had also noticed this.

“Well Jack, I’ll let you get that little one to bed. It was nice talking to you and Eva, hope to see you back on the ice soon.”

—

Eva went back to bed soon after, waking up in a much better mood than before. She was now sitting in the living room playing quietly while Jack made dinner, awaiting his girlfriend’s arrival. 

He turns as the door opens, seeing his very tired girlfriend in the doorway.

“Oh wow, don’t you look like the perfect housewife.” She said pointing to his apron. 

“You will have to wife me up soon, too many people are out here looking for a partner as great as me.” He quips back. 

“Maybe… we will see. How was Eva today?”

“Had a nightmare and woke up early from her nap but she went back to sleep on my lap… during my interview.” His girlfriend turned around at that.

“Shit, I forgot you had that today. I am so sorry Jack I would have arranged a sitter for her.”

“No, no, it's fine I promise. Although now everyone knows about her. He asked her a few questions, nothing crazy just like her favorite toys and such.”

“What did you say about her?” She asks, concerned. Understandably, his girlfriend didn’t want her family’s dirty laundry out there for people to judge.

“Just that she was your sister and staying with us for a bit. If you don't want that I can ask my team to get it cut out. I would have asked you but I didn’t really have time.”

She is quiet for a moment while she thinks. Eva and her family situation was… complicated. Jack knew that. A three year old staying with her 22 year old sister and boyfriend was going to raise some questions from fans. 

“It’s okay. People will find out eventually and now they know you don't have a secret child. I’m sure that is a relief.”

“Honey, you know damn well I didn’t care. And I see Eva as a daughter. She has been in my life almost as long as you have and I adore her. It was kind of cool to see people thinking I was a dad, and a good one at that.” 

She was on the brink of tears hearing this. Bringing Eva home and raising her wasn’t easy, and despite how long they have been together, she was always insecure about how Jack truly felt, even though he had been nothing but accepting and loving to Eva. 

“You’re right. Hey, maybe now she can go to games. She always asks when we watch at home.”

Jack lights up at the idea. “I'll get her a mini version of my jersey. I'll try to get you guys good seats. That will be great.” He immediately walks over to Eva, taking her in his arms as he asks her if she wants to go to one of his games. 

Even after all this time, there is no better site than watching her sister laughing with Jack, a man that had no obligation to love Eva the way he did but did so tenfold.

#nhl imagine #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes x y/n #nhl x reader

[qrrieterisunnq]

Insta edit for Nico where he and his girlfriend get a puppy because omg he would be such a good and adorable dog dad 😍🐶

Thank you so much for requesting this!! Hope you'll like it!! 🫶🏽💖

Doggy Parents - Nico Hischier

nico!hischier x fem!reader Summary: Nico and his girlfriend got a puppy after a few months she couldn’t stop talking about it. request: yes/no gif not mine likes are good, reblogs are better <3 word count: 0,5K warning(s): instagram post, cute Nico

masterlist | wip's

yourusername

liked by nicohischier, jackhughes, yourbff_, and others

yourusername New members of our little family! Everyone meet Apollo! 🐕✨️ We adopted him from animalshelter_nj, he was abandoned when he was only ten weeks old! now he's a year and two months old, finally with the family that will love him so much! ❤️💗

(tagged nicohischier, animalshelter_nj)

Load more comments

user66 Oh my god!! He's so adorable!! 🤗

nicohischier Meine liebe Familie💖

╰➤ yourusername @/nicohischier I love you too, Neeks🩷

╰➤ nicohischier @/yourusername Ich liebe dich, sweetgirl🤍

jackhughes wait a minute! what about me?! I'm your third member! 🤨🥴

╰➤ yourusername @/jackhughes Sorry Jacky! But Apollo is now the third! But you can be fourth?

╰➤ lhughes_06 @/yourusername I'm the fourth! Jack! You're the fifth!! Suck it up, man!!

╰➤jackhughes @/lhughes_06 fuck off!! 🖕🏾

user33_5 Oh my god! He is so cute! But let's be honest! The caption would be better with a pic of an ultrasound and a bump photo...👶💗

liked by hughes86_j, us66er, lhughes_06 and others

╰➤ user33_5 @/user33_5 did just Luke Hughes like my comment?

ninahischier I can't wait to meet him! He's so adorable! I want to cuddle with him!!

╰➤ nicohischier @/ninahischier What about me! You don't miss me? I'm your brother!!😖

╰➤ ninahischier @/nicohischier no! he's more adorble than you! And you're annoying every time I'm in NJ🥰😏

animalshelter_nj thank you so much for adopting our Apollo.✨️ He's been waiting for the perfect family for over a year! Now he has the perfect family he could ever get!! Thank you so much y/n and Nico!!❤️

╰➤ nicohischier @/animalshelter_nj our pleasure to make him part of the family! He's been such a good boy!!

liked by animalshelter_nj, yourusername and others

john.marino97 take him on the practice with us @/nicohischier!! Wanna meet that boy, when you don't have a baby yet!! 😒😒

╰➤ yourusername @/john.marino97 there's plenty of time for that Johnny!!

liked by nicohischier

user_91 are they really talking about baby under dog post? Okay, what is going on there?! Is y/n and Nico planning on having a baby??

╰➤user5 @/user_91 Oh my god!! I swear they'll have the cutest baby! And wonderful parents! That's why they god a dog! To practice it!! 🥰

yourbff_ oh the cutest baby! I swear I fell in love!! Finally!!❤️

╰➤yourusername @/yourbff_ my baby boy is stealing hearts!! 😂💗

us66er such a cute little boy!! And the Nico pic with him!! They look so amazing!!

njdevils welcome to the devils family, Apollo!! A dog bed already waiting for you just like a dog jersey!! 🖤🩶❤️

╰➤ yourusername @/njdevils thank you so much!! He'll come to his first game very soon!! 🤍

╰➤njdevils @/yourusername Oh we're already looking forward to it!!

#nico hischier #nhl #nj devils #nhl hockey #nhl fanfiction #nico hischier fic #nico hischier x reader #nico hischier imagine #nico hischier insta edit #nico his

[renranram]

Is there any chance you could make a jschlatt x streamer reader 1shot where she admits she has a small thing for jschlatt on her stream because her viewers asked if she had a crush on any streamers she watches and jschlatt happens to be watching her stream because hes a fan of her🤭 i think its such a nice fic concept :))

Crush

sfw

fem!reader x schlatt

basically the submission hehe

" chat, i am not smashing tommyinit, he's a child! " you roll your eyes as drag the photo of tommy at the 'pass' side

you've been playing smash or pass with your twitch chat for a few minutes now, ' but he's 20 now ' ' he's a grown man ' ' he's a grown man with a husband and a girlfriend ' your chat spams

" well... during my time, he was a child, " you reply, dramatically rolling your eyes as you lean back your seat, talking about your dsmp phase

" but in all seriousness, id still pass him, he's literally like my little brother chat, dont be weird " you chuckle as you scroll to the next option, wilbur fucking soot, you pause, staring dead into the camera

before dragging the thing's photo out of the frame, you let the silence sink in as you glance at your twitch chat

poggerina; o7

y/n4lyfersmwa; mb guys he got out of his leash

bhielatkiffy; WHY IS THE BRIGHTON BITER THERE 😦😦😦😦

you read as you chuckle, " ... anyways.. " you added, scrolling down as a tts donation caught your attention,

y/nsfavkitten donated $15, ' hello y/nn, just wondering if you had any small crush on an old dsmp member? ' the tts reads out

as you shift on your seat, " a small crush? " you repeat, before chuckling, " well.. if you donate another 100 ill tell you " you play it off as a joke

and continue on with the game, you put charlie in smash, ted in smash, jack in pass ( banter ), niki in smash, until the donator actually donated a $100, taking you in surprise

" oh my fucking god, y/nsfavkitten, i was just joking " you chuckle, " should i give you a refund? " you offer, not thinking it'd be serious

y/nsfavkitten: nononono but can you answer my last question? :3

you pause sighing out, before nodding, " for you y/nsfavkitten, fine, i did have a small crush, like a veryyy small crush on someone there " you confess as you can see your chat speeds up

akh1rah_1r: WHO

y/nluvsme: WHO???

jojosiwayouscareme: HELP WHO??

numberoneschlaggot: no way dont tell me you liked dream

" ewww " you squirm, chuckling as you shake your head, " ... i used to have a thing for schlatt " you confess

mitskimybeloved: AHH I CALLED IT

immacomebacklikeaboomerang: ship

renranram : Y/N X SCHLATT CANON FR

you groan out, as you chuckle, " guys dont make it weird " you mumble, a faint blush on your cheek as you shifted on your seat

meanwhile schlatt on the other hand wanted to do backflips, like genuinely, he was like a monkey getting excited over a piece banana

and he thought, why not shoot his shot,

@.jschlatt • 1 minute

same i ship it too, @.y/n'swebbie

↳ 11 ⇆ 9 ♡ 201

as you saw the tweet, your face turned redder like a tomato, chuckling like a teenage girl seeing abs for the first time

" chat, this is all your fault "

#chuckle sammy #chuckle sandwich #jschlatt #jschlatt x reader #schlatt #schlatt fanfic #schlatt x reader #sleep deprived podcast #jschlatt x you #schlatt x y/n #schlatt x you #jschlatt x y/n #jschlatt fanfic #schlatt fluff

[conkreetmonkey]

Splatoon 3 is wild because imagine if you were living in Japan due to a recent economic and cultural boom, and suddenly a space shuttle with a mutant house-sized T-rex riding it suddenly burst from the center of Mt. Fuji and disappeared into space without explanation, and all you ever find out about what the fuck that was about is that Zuckerburg mysteriously disappeared the same day and was never seen again, but still "officially" ran Meta through an open secret Queen-Elizabeth-being-in-good-health gaslighting campaign, and everybody kind of suspected he may have been connected but never figured out anything conclusive.

Also the T-rex is now orbiting the earth in the fetal position like the guy from Jojo, and there are rumors of a substance that, if touched, turns you into a half-dinosaur monster. Nobody understands any of this but Meta employees just keep going to work and pretending Zuck still exists. The same 12 prerecorded voicelines constantly squak from the PA system.

Oddly, the statue in front of Meta HQ of a T-rex eating a human changes overnight into one of a giant human eating a tiny T-rex. Nobody noticed the switch, despite the statue being in a constantly bustling area. It happened shortly after the shuttle incident.

Jack Black's tiny clone, Lil' Jack, now wears a headset at all times and has been acting really shady since the incident. Also they're both hyperintelligent, immortal velociraptors found in an ancient cryogenic chamber who spend their days judging college football and eating the legally harvested flesh of hillbillies. Lil' Jack is probably plotting to kill Big Jack, but Big Jack doesn't seem to care, growing fat and lazy, sleeping on public benches in a bed of throw pillows. Also, he's very open about the fact that, as a velociraptor, humans look delicious, but he hasn't actually eaten anybody aside from the aforementioned hillbillies because he's civil.

Everyone is just expected to move on with their lives after this. This is normal to you.

The local art school was recently attacked by giant sea serpents, which were actually hideously bioengineered hillbillies, fulfilling a biblical doomsday prophecy, and they were driven back by Meta's army of minimum wage, part time child soldiers armed with warcrimey jury-rigged weaponry. The sea serpents had giant frying pans grafted into their mouths, which launched primitive tactical nukes made by filling garbage bags with their explosive blood. They still exist, and occasionally defend their comrades, but spend most of their time in the deep sea.

The local homeless emo twink everyone's attracted to is a closet millionaire who sells bootleg clothing in exchange for live rats, which he messily devours behind closed doors. He's also 8 feet tall and British and only has one eye.

North Korean refugees now flood the western world, after a greasy 14 year old hipster, under the guidance of Ariana Grande and Taylor Swift, beat Kim Jong Un in a mech battle, and the EDM remix of the Japanese national anthem they performed caused like half the soldiers to immediately realize North Korea sucks ass and defect. One of these individuals, 7 foot tall hypergenius, becomes a newscaster alongside a nepo baby rapper with dwarfism who likes to eat entire jars of mayo, and also they're a popular band. Also also, they may or may not be gay. Almost the entire population is gay, so this isn't a huge deal.

The new local newscasters are a famous Japanese lion tamer, an Indian girl with a bloodline trait allowing her to control snakes, and a Brazillian man the size of a smart car who exclusively communicates via grunts.

Gods, souls and zombies are objectively real, and you're effectively immortal because real-life respawning was invented a while ago. It works like a Keurig, but with mucus instead of coffee. Submersion in water kills you.

A good deal of the population is a hivemind. They pretend to be individuals for no reason.

Almost all men are now femboys.

Despite all this, you still have to go to work at 9 tomorrow.

#splatoon 3 #splatoon #splatoon fandom #splatpost #splatposting #splatoon lore #mr. grizz #new agent 3 #neo agent 3 #return of the mammalians

[pupcuck]

ASKING FOR IT !

ft. og4 leon s. kennedy x fem!reader

tags. p in v, smut, cheating (not on reader), ooc leon sorry, he’s mean, negging, misogyny, reference to past rape/non-con, unresolved trauma, suicidal thoughts duhhh, he calls reader ugly a lot, leon subs for his gf but doms reader, non-con to consensual sex, manipulation, some .. uh waterboarding? he dunks your head in water, opioid addiction but it’s minor LMFAOO

note. haii… um feedback whether it’s good or bad appreciated really forced myself to write this so im like ack. hating everything i write but! ignore typos :3 it’s not as fleshed out as i wanted .. soooo it reads pretty jolty but yah 😭 and the smut is like not. IDK I’m ugh not into it just couldn’t bring myself to extend stuff that I really wanted to develop n he’s ooc. BUT!! again ignore typos or I’ll cry n feedback/constructive criticism appreciated <3

Leon has a girlfriend. He can never hold down a girl, his ability to scare women away is preternatural, so it’s a big deal. And she’s fucking hot. Not like model hot, but pornstar hot. She’s got tits so firm they might as well be bulletproof. Bottle blonde with eyes that swallow up her whole face. Her stomach doesn’t crease when she sits. It’s the type of beauty that takes its form in slashes of red lace and nylon. Not many women are out of his league, but she is.

They have hot sex like attractive people tend to do, and it goes something along the lines of this.

He goes:

Is that dick good, baby? You like it? Right there, baby?

And she goes:

Fuck, yes, baby! Harder, deeper— Oh, right there!

And then she doesn’t cum.

So there’s that, but he’s working on it.

Leon doesn’t take well to tips on how to fuck. Reading advice columns in the Men’s Health magazine leaves a funny taste in his mouth. It might be the blood from the castrated image of his masculinity. Who knows.

He struggles with that sort of thing. A nice face does nothing for a man who doesn’t actually like anything about himself. Leon’s still that wimpy self-hating loser he was all those years ago. In all fairness to God, there are a few added tweaks here and there. Some bug fixes. Now he’s drunk and shallow too! Misanthropic when he’s at his very best.

As a kid, mom told Leon to be a nice boy so he was a nice boy. Not because he was ever a particularly nice boy, but for her sake. So instead of acting out he would go and crush ants beneath his thumb in the front yard because there is this mean part of Leon that splinters inside of him like cooked bones.

Life to Leon is being fucked into apologising for being alive so it’s no wonder he’s still harbouring the insecurities of a boy he isn't.

When he was eighteen it was by ugly old men who abhorred him for being the embodiment of whatever it was they were hiding from their wives. His legs looked nice thrown over a pair of big shoulders. They were so thin back then, model-type shit. All of those men mildly resembled his dad, but that’s something he wouldn’t quite like to crack down on yet. Leon’s being open enough as it is.

When he was twenty-one it was his headache of a first girlfriend. It was the bullet wound in his shoulder. When he was twenty-two it was being passed around boot camp like a dirty needle. When he was twenty-seven it was Luis who was nothing and everything in between. It was a picture book princess like Ashley. The scar on his shoulder. Stigmata. Glory Be. Whatever.

(And Jack, it was always Jack. Pale all over like a healed scar.)

What Leon is trying to get across, he’s not quite sure. Maybe that he's nice in theory and the reality is he’s a self-confessed charlatan of niceness. Or that he can’t fuck. He can’t fuck because he is deeply traumatised. Yeah. Maybe that’s what he’s trying to say. It’s an excuse, sure, doesn’t make it the truth though. Leon can’t fuck ‘cause he’s useless at most things that don’t include guns. He can’t fuck ‘cause he was unattractive as a teenager and that solidified the way he feels about himself now.

Leon’s got one thing going for him - he fingers her pussy till his fingers prune. Eats her out till he gets lockjaw.

“Oh, you’re so good at that,” she says, kissing his slicked-up lips.

Then her eyes flit to his hard dick and she gives him that strange half-smile. One that seems to say: Not with that. His dick. Obviously.

His shit is big enough, it’s long enough— It’s enough. And it’s pretty. Could put a bow on to make it real cute. Could manufacture a dildo inspired by it. So Leon cannot for the life of him wrap his head around her problem. It’s not his dicks fault her pussy is fucking broken. Her broken pussy doesn’t get to make his dick sad. Doesn’t get to lay devastating blows on his gone-with-the-wind ego.

Another thing is, her sister is an ugly bitch. That upsets Leon and his dick in tow. You’re a student, taking a break for some reason Leon has not bothered to fathom. He couldn’t care less. Go do it someplace else. In this house, you’re nothing more than a cockblock. Leon could forgive you for being a cockblock if you weren’t ugly. Or vice versa.

It would be okay if Leon wasn’t stuck at home with you for hours at a time. Work fucked up his back, so he’s staying here in his girlfriend’s apartment eating her food, running her taps, fucking her badly and shitting on her sister.

You’re sat on the other end of the table with a soggy bowl of cereal while he nurses a juice box like a real man. What do ugly little things like you think about anyway?

When Leon was ugly he thought about forcing his dick into the cute girl next door between his more regular thoughts of what to eat for dinner and whether he stocked up on toilet paper or not.

When he was ugly, his day was made simply by a pretty girl looking in his general direction. So Leon makes sure to look in yours. Y’know, to fuel your perverted wet dreams. Your rape fantasies. What freaks think about when they’re near hot guys. Well, it’s strange actually. You tend to totally ignore him. When the two of you make brief eye contact, you don’t flounder or duck or bow your head like you’re shy— You just move on with your life. That bothers him. Leon’s hot now. He’s not the type of man you just brush over like that. He’s the type you gawk at in broad daylight, he’s the sort of guy you see in soft porn magazines.

“Good morning,” his girlfriend greets, “have a good sleep, sweetie?” She bumps your hip when you stand up to hug her.

She’s wearing stockings today. Oh, he loves stockings. He loves pencil skirts. He loves— He loves office wear. He wants to be put over her lap and spanked raw perhaps.

“Yeah, it’d be nice if your boyfriend stopped moaning like a girl though.” It’s said into her ear, but Leon hears it.

“I’m going now, honey,” his girlfriend tells him.

Like a good boy, Leon stands to bid her goodbye. Her blouse is sheer, shows off her black bra and he eyes it with distaste.

“What’s wrong, Leon?”

He doesn’t speak. Just glares at her perfect set of tits like a baby weaned off milk.

“I can’t take them off,” she snorts.

Leon wishes she could. Hang ‘em up in the closet and pop them back on when it’s time to play. Tits are for the bedroom. Otherwise, they’re too much of a distraction. Instead, he settles on slipping his hand up her skirt to check if she’s wearing panties. (There’s no panty line showing through her pencil skirt and that’s always a bad sign.) She shoos him away.

So Leon leans in for a kiss, and she says, “Nuh-uh, honey, you’ll ruin my makeup.” Then she gives in ‘cause Leon can be kinda cute when he tries hard enough. “Just one, okay?”

“Yeah.” Leon nods. Her kisses are analgesic. Which is unfortunate considering he has an opioid addiction. Almost an addiction.

“One,” she counts, Leon kisses her again, “two, three, four.”

She’s teasing him now.

“Okay, well, keep an eye on her, Leon.”

“I’m not twelve,” you say, exiting the kitchen to spare yourself the sight of him groping your older sister.

Yeah, and Leon’s not a bang nanny.

He wipes the red from his lips, takes his juice box from the table where you’re no longer and decides jerking off in the shower will make him feel better. Leon does. He finishes. Watches his seed wash down the drain and wonders if that was wasteful. A short intermission is taken, then he jerks off in front of her full-body mirror. His biceps flex and his abs tighten, and he looks fucking good.

Why isn’t she cumming? What’s wrong with her? Is she getting too old? Is menopause hitting already? She’s only thirty-something. It can’t be that, and she asked Leon to pick up tampons last week— Unless they were for you.

Nobody in this house tells Leon anything. Another shower is what he needs. No, he needs a smoke. Leon doesn’t smoke. He does the next best thing, rests idly against the railings of her balcony, observing the ballet of D.C. life. Man, he could throw himself over right now. Splat against the asphalt and that would be it. It’d all be over. Hauling his weight over would be no problem. Catastrophizing to pass the time. Men used to do this for a living in Ancient Greece. What happened to philosophising? Leon could be a philosopher, all they did was spout nonsense and he is good at that. Not at fucking, however.

Beer. Yeah. Beer. That’s what he needs. Leon ransacks the fridge to no avail. Health-conscious living is the reason for misery, he believes. See, very insightful, modern-day Socrates right here. Lean proteins, vegan substitutes, low-fat yoghurt— It’s so girly it makes him sick.

“She’s still on a health kick,” you say from behind him, “I thought it was a New Years thing, but she’s still, like, super into it.”

Why are you talking to him? Leon blinks at you owlishly. “Right,” he says.

You give him a funny look, turning back to the counter to use the coffee machine. Don’t you want him? You’re not shy. Why aren’t you shy? Shouldn’t you be shy? Ugly Leon was mute around girls whether they were short, fat, ugly or pretty. Shit, he is clucking for a beer.

“There's Chardonnay under the sink.” Well, that’s unhelpful.

“Yeah, I don’t- I don’t drink that.” He would like to finish his sentence off with ‘girly shit’ but you seem like the type to find that offensive.

“Figured.” The coffee machine whirs. A lobotomised silence ensues. “Good talk.”

You’re so ugly you’re asking for it. Perfect subject for the ‘I can’t make my girlfriend cum, is her pussy broken?’ experiment. Ugly girls don’t count as a fuck, right? Not when they’re sent to the very back of your mind after said fuck. He wonders how many girls counted the uglier him as an official lay.

You’re on your tummy reading a book. The Beautiful and Damned. Leon had no idea they wrote a book about him. The door creaking exposes his creeping against his will.

“Do you need something?” you ask without batting an eye.

The swell of your ass is nice. “Uh, yeah, I do.”

Rolling over and sitting up to face him, you tilt your head to the side. “Go on.”

“I want to have sex with you.” Woah. Okay. That’s a genie he can’t put back in the bottle. Fuck, why does he do this stupid shit? Leon should just kill himself. All roads lead to suicide. Every sign points towards suicide and he is still holding on for dear life.

Think about Sherry. Sherry won’t care, kids hit sixteen and don’t give a fuck about much, he reasons with the voice in his head. How about Claire? Oh, she’ll think good fucking riddance. Redfield? No way. You are truly out of options, Kennedy.

“I’m sorry?”

Oh, god no, Leon’s the one that should be sorry. “You heard me.” The apology comes out incredibly wrong. “I’m helping you out.”

“Helping me out with what? I’m sorry, Leon, I didn’t… I didn’t think I— I don’t know what made you think I wanted this from you, but I don’t like you—“

You don’t like him? Why not? He’d like a list of reasons with a page-long explanation. What’s not to like? The hair. It’s the hair. Blond is too girly. That’s what it is.

“—I mean, you’re with my sister, did you really think I would say yes? I’m sorry, I’m just a little confused, where is this coming from? Gosh, I really… I don’t know what to say.”

“I’m helping you out,” Leon repeats, using his hands to gesture at your face, at your body. “No one else is gonna do it.” This apology has gone way out of bounds. A simple sorry would have sufficed.

“What..?” Something doleful crosses your face, then it twists unpleasantly. “You think I want to have sex with you… ‘cause I’m not cute? Like, you think I’m…”

Ugly, yes. He does. Only a little. Can you turn over? He wants to make you cum. “You’re a virgin, yeah?”

“Oh my god, there’s, like, something wrong with you!” You stand to your full height in a pitiful attempt to appear frightening. That face is enough to scare a man away already. “Get out— And I am so telling her when she gets back home, I told her I didn’t like you, I told her and now you just-“

Leon grabs you by the jaw, squeezes you so tight it clicks. “Okay, sweetheart, here’s how this is going to go,” he starts, taking both your wrists in a single hand, “we’re going to start over, and you’re going to be a good little girl and apologise to me like you really mean it.”

“Apologise for what?” It comes out muffled through your forced pout so he chooses to ignore you.

“I don’t know what you fuckin’ said.” Leon should just end it here, he should let go of you and check into the nearest asylum. He’s hot. Leon is box blond. He’s tall enough to dwarf most girls. His face is nice. His body is nicer. So he doesn’t know what his problem is. Once pinned down, you shrink away from him, expression so sour your skin looks ready to melt off your skull.

And then he fucks you till you stop screaming. He leaves you in a withered heap, heads back to his room to take a well-deserved nap, hides his face in the pillows. They smell like her. He should think about killing himself some more. That gun looks awfully shiny. Nth time could be the charm.

She gets home in the evening, drops her bag on the floor to alert him of her entrance.

“I missed you.” Leon noses at her neck.

“You were sleeping.” She ruffles his hair like he’s a child.

“I still missed you.”

“Even when you’re sleeping?”

In the least creepy way possible, he wants to wear her skin as a suit, and she thinks his body doesn’t yearn for her at every sleeping second?

“The most when I’m sleeping, have bad dreams without you,” Leon mumbles groggily.

“How cute,” she muses, “good day?”

“Great day.” Leon nods. “Real productive.”

“Oh yeah? What’d you get up to?” A singular red nail strokes along his spine.

“Thought about you,” he answers, leaving out the part where he spent half of his time jerking off. Oh, and the part where he fucked her sister into submission. He raped you. He did. Leon doesn’t like that word. Far too harsh.

“Now, don’t push it, mister.” When she smiles there’s a lack of wrinkles— Not even smile lines, it’s artificial almost.

Leon’s good at pushing buttons. He should get paid for it. “It’s true, if you said jump I’d ask how high.”

“You’re so funny, Leon.” She kisses his head and laughs all prim and proper.

“Serious, babe, I’m super partial to jumping,” he says to hear her laugh again. He’s more partial to suicide. It’s great. A one-way ticket off of God’s green inferno. Who would he even be without suicide ideation?

“Alright, but I’d like you all in one piece.” She kisses his cheek. “No jumping, okay, honey?” She kisses his neck and his collarbones and his Adam’s apple and he’s unable to breathe.

“Okay,” Leon says. He gets it now. She’s mommying him. Maybe this is what Leon needs. To play house. A daddy to fuck his throat and a mommy to sit on his dick and tell him that he’s a good boy and he’s needed and he won’t have to think if he has a mommy and daddy to do that for him.

Can he backtrack on the rape thing? Trust Leon to take a good thing and ruin it in the worst way possible. If he kissed you he could’ve wormed his way out of it. Told her it was the medication he’s on, that he had a mental breakdown, a midlife crisis.

At dinner, your silence slips under the radar like cumstains on motel bedsheets. You pick at your food, and when Leon’s knee brushes yours under the table, you excuse yourself. Sometimes he thinks that he is a bad person, this can be backed up by many things. Violating you might outweigh saving the world.

In bed, he thinks about changing, about calling his therapist in the morning, he might take a leap off that balcony, cleaning up his act sounds terribly hard. Leon does this all with his head tucked into the hollow of his girlfriend’s neck. The thinking has killed his boner and now he can’t get it up. So he pretends to fall asleep. It’s an unconvincing performance ‘cause the moment she swipes a hand over his ass he lets out a disgruntled noise. Leon clenches so quickly his stomach caves in.

“You don’t like that, honey?”

He shakes his head, overgrown bangs falling in his eyes. Leon has a nice ass. It’s no wonder she wants to touch it, leg presses have done him wonders, but still, it’s off-limits. She can’t sweet talk her way into this anytime soon.

“Why, Leon?” She’s cupping his ass like he’s a girl. Leon’s not a girl. “You’d look so cute.”

“No,” he whines, and it sounds kind of sexy. He gets it. He can see the appeal.

“I think you just need some encouragement, baby.” She’s taking him apart like a gun. Folding him like laundry. Milks his prostate so well he sleeps like a baby. Not even a shadow of an orgasm to be seen from her side.

She leaves early the next morning and he’s left alone to ruminate. What he finds out today is that you’re pretty diligent at sucking dick when forced.

Leon thinks he would like to break you in a way that only he can fix.

He pushes your head down on his dick till your lips are stretched so far they split at the corners, you gag wetly each time the fat tip knocks the back of your throat, heavy balls slapping against your chin.

“Aww, look at you,” Leon coos, “little girl taking big things.”

Fat tears well in your eyes, a faint tremor betrays your effort to hold them back, a single blink and they roll down your cheeks like dewdrops. It might be the dick lodged in your throat, pulsing under your tongue— Yeah, no, it’s his dick in your mouth. That’s why you're upset. No other reason for it. Leon finds you a little ungrateful. A lot of women would pay for this, to drain his balls. Hell, your sister loves to do it.

“One at a time, sweetheart,” he says as he guides you to his balls, “can’t have you choking, can we?” You look up at him blankly. Leon thought he was funny and that’s all that matters. “Go on, spit on ‘em, get me nice and wet.” The drool pooling beneath your tongue drizzles his balls in clear strings, his drippy tip bumps the bridge of your nose, rests comfy on your brow ridge.

You’re struggling real bad. He’ll take it as a compliment. The thing is, you refuse to just lick them, pulling off each ball with a wet pop! and a dry cough. Leon starts to zone out so he shoves you off and quite pathetically, you fall flat on your back.

“You didn’t shave,” Leon notes in distaste, he was going to do you a favour too.

“No— Not for you.” You squirm like a fish on the docks when he hovers over you.

“Not for me, right.”

“Anyone but you.”

“You're not gonna do it for anyone, sweetheart, know why?” Leon clicks his tongue when you dodge his kiss, twisting your neck to keep a distance.

“Why?”

“No one else wants you,” he states, “you’re lucky that I want you.”

“Well, that’s not true.” You’re stubborn amongst all your other undesirable traits.

Leon scoffs. “What, so you ever had a boyfriend?” He runs his index finger along your slit. Bone dry. Serious? He assumes you’re still sore from yesterday.

“That’s none of your fucking business.”

“Don’t get mad at me, honey, I’m just helping you out.” Leon spits on your pussy, then on his thick cock for good measure, jerks his shaft and presses a thumb to his tip to guide it into you. Your lips fold inwards around him as he breaches your tiny hole. There’s too much resistance for it to be a smooth sailing journey, and you’re new to cock, cunt pushing him out as your body tenses. “I’m being nice to you, so you should say thank you.”

“Oh, god,” you mutter, brows knit in what might be pain or pleasure.

“Yeah, that’s what you’re calling me now?” The look you give him is priceless, small hands settling on his chest as you push at him weakly. “No, baby, you don’t get to do that.” Leon bottoms out, he rolls his hips forward to grind the head of his dick into your cervix, the fleshly opening moulds to his tip and you cry out. He can never tell if you’re enjoying it.

Leon sticks his fingers in your mouth to coat them in spit, you retch and he rubs figure eights on your clit, only then does your cunt loosen up its hold on him. It’s a quick process, the quicker he rubs you raw, the wetter you get, biting down on your tongue to keep quiet, but low groans slip past your cracked lips.

“Oh, there we go, baby, that’s it,” Leon coos, his cock slicked up by your wet pussy, sliding in and out with ease. His hips snap forward, forcing himself deeper into your messy little pussy, so wet you’re dripping down his balls, wetness stuck to your inner thighs.

“Fuck— I can’t, I can’t do it, ‘s too big,” you whimper, a hand slipping between your bodies to lay on your stomach. What you don’t understand is that he is big, yeah, but your pussy just needs to be broken in. Like a new pair of shoes.

“You’re doing it, baby,” Leon says, ‘cause you are doing it. You’re taking it. Body going rigid with each brutal thrust into your sopping wet hole. Whether you can take it or not isn’t for you to decide anyway. “I’m going to stuff your little pussy full,” he tells you.

“No,” you choke out, scratching at his chest, nails too blunt to do any sort of damage. Thank fuck. His girlfriend would go nuts.

It’s a satisfying victory, he covers your mouth to concentrate all his energy into this creampie, fills you to the brim, seed thick enough to stick to your insides. The original aim of his ‘experiment’ is forgotten, Leon doesn’t care if you cum or cry or pass out on his dick.

“I’m tellin’ her when she comes home.” Your threat is weak. He feared the consequences of yesterday, but you said nothing.

“You’re not telling her, you like me too much,” Leon decides, “I know you do, baby.”

“I don’t like you at all.” Your bottom lip trembles, fists balled up by your sides. The contempt only turns him on.

“No, but I think you know I’m right, don’t you?” No one else wants you, and you know that. Leon knows you know that. He’s the only one that is ever going to fuck you.

“Right about what? You’re a fucking psycho— I could get you locked up, I should get you locked up.”

“You should, so what're you waiting for?” If you did report him, Leon would just kill himself, going to prison sounds like a bore. “I think, sweetheart, that secretly, you really like it when I rape you.”

And your silence proves him right.

That report never comes. Duh. You love his dick. You like being roughed up. You know you’re deserving of it. Jesus Christ, Leon needs to call his shrink. Honestly, being around you is hard. It’s like his guilty conscience has developed a human body, shambling around the apartment in the shape of a malformed ghost girl, reminding him of the shit he’s said and done to you. You’re spinning in his necrosed brain like one of those music box ballerinas.

“Leon, be a doll and do me up,” his girlfriend is facing away from him, the smooth skin of her back and shoulders bared to him.

Leon only hears the ‘do me’ part, kissing the nape of her neck, reaching round to grab at her fat tits. “I love you…”

“I love you too, baby, but what do you think you’re doing?”

Leon makes a motion with his fingers, she sees it in the mirror.

“What is that, sign language?”

“No, I want to finger you.”

“Oh, well, that’s lovely, baby, but it’s not the time for that. I asked you to zip me up, Leon.” He zips her up while wondering how she can be so unaffected by him being so stupid.

“Hey, are you ready to go?” You knock on the door, you keep hiding your face from him today. His girlfriend said it’s ‘cause you have makeup on. Apparently that changes things. It’s sort of cute. Like, are you shy? You should be shy.

“Oh, no one likes cliffhangers, honey,” she says, forcing you to swap out some open-toe sandals for a pair of her heels. “Okay, Leon, I’ve left your dinner in the fridge, yes?”

Yes, mommy. “Yeah, babe.”

“And there’s snacks in the cupboard now, oh, and don’t use the tap water, it tastes strange so I stocked up— Leon, will you stop doing that with your jaw?”

Sorry, mommy. “Sorry, babe.”

“He’s totally fucking gurning,” you inform her in a way that screams playground snitch. He’ll choke you out for that.

“Gurning, what’s that?” His girlfriend asks cluelessly. This bitch is in her early thirties, Leon has no idea why she acts fifty. Whatever, it’s hot, he gets a girl with all the traits of an older lady without the sagging.

“Like, y’know, ‘cause he’s on meds.” What a little shit. Is this you getting back at him? Some petty fucking act of revenge? Getting his medication taken away from him by his health freak girlfriend?

“Medication? I didn’t know about this, Leon.” She looks at him like he’s killed her mother. Or raped her sister. If only she knew.

“Yeah, for my back, my back hurts, babe— Th-That’s why I’m on leave. My back hurts.” What a compelling act. Totally not a dude that’s two minutes away from injecting black tar heroin.

“Who prescribed them, a doctor or a vet?” You cock your head to the side. Fine. You fucking got him.

“Same thing.” Leon shrugs.

She makes him empty the bedside desk of pills. “Leon, good boys don’t do this. We don’t take drugs in this household, let me take them off your hands.”

“They’re- Babe, they’re not drugs, they’re for my back— I hurt my back.” Granted, his back stopped aching a few days back, he’s just taking advantage of the break. Also, he’s not a child.

“Your back, honey, I know it hurts.” She waves him off. “We can fix it, huh? I can book you in for acupuncture or cupping— Oh, what about a chiropractor?”

“Fine,” Leon says, voice cracking, watching in devastation as she takes his pills in a black garbage bag.

“Bye, Leon, see you later, honey.” She blows him a kiss and he catches it. He has to catch it.

“Yeah, bye, Leon!” You wave at him, looking happier than you have in days.

The door opens an hour later and Leon takes his hand out of his pants. You stand in front of him with red eyes and messy makeup. Leon, being the gentleman he is, takes you into his arms and rubs your back to soothe you as he tells you, more than a little cruel, I fucking told you so.

At least now you know that some guys aren’t as nice as Leon. Some men will spit in your face without considering how tight your pussy is, they won’t even think about how good your tits look in that push-up bra. See? That’s what the real world is like.

The bath fills as he bends you over the sofa. You’re prettier from behind, dress hiked up, soaked panties around your ankles. His hand smooths down the front of your stomach to cup your puffy cunt, prodding at your swollen clit. You shaved. Funny. Thought you were going to get a dick that wasn’t his.

Leon kneels, he spreads your ass cheeks to lick into your pussy from behind, tongue lapping up the beads of arousal that dribble down the seam of your cunt like sticky honey. He laps at your hole and you arch your back to push into him, his tongue fucking your pussy so well, sloppy sounds fill his ears.

“Been wanting to do this,” Leon says into your cunt, tongue making its way back up the centrefold of your fat pussy, he blows spit bubbles on your clit and then he nips at it until you cry out, startled by the jolt of pain. His dick kicks in his sweats. You taste good to make up for that face of yours.

You cream in his mouth so sweetly, toes curling against the wooden floor. Leon wipes his mouth on his forearm, then he wraps it around your neck, pulling your body flush to his. In his chest, his heart flutters when you press a delicate kiss to his bicep. He feels it and you can’t unfeel that.

“I’m sorry, Leon,” you get out through shaky moans as he sandwiches his shaft between your chubby pussy lips, bumping the tip into your clit as his hips move back and forth. “I’m sorry… Didn’t know-“

“It’s okay, baby.” He kisses behind your ear. “It’s alright ‘cause you know now, huh?”

“Yeah,” you agree tearfully, tilting your head so it rests on his broad chest, he gives your pout some wet kisses.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, hm, baby?” Leon nudges you with his nose.

Your idea of cleaning up might be far from what Leon’s is. He doesn’t think you were expecting something so extreme. But it’s for thinking you’re worth something— For thinking that anyone else would do as little as touch you. It’s to wash off that pitiful attempt at makeup.

He bends you in half over the tub. Your tits hang low enough to be squashed against the edge painfully as Leon dunks your head into lukewarm water. Holy shit. Tomorrow will be the day he overdoses. Why is he doing this?

A strangled noise passes your lips as he lets up, and you re-emerge, Leon wipes a hand over your face to rid you of the streaky mascara and sticky gloss.

“There we go, sweetheart, nice and clean.” He presses the tip into your leaking cunt, it catches on your hole, and you flail, water spilling over the edge, surface tension broken as it ripples.

Honest to god, Leon hasn’t fucked a pussy tighter than yours, and when he holds you beneath the surface? Man, you might deglove his dick. He works his cock into you, and when he’s balls deep in your sloppy cunt, Leon allows you to lift your head to which you pant and gasp and cough. All the shit a drowning person does when they’re tossed a lifesaver.

Your body sags, hanging limp with only Leon to hold you up as he roughly fucks in and out of your poor hole, heavy balls slapping against your skin.

“I love you, Leon,” you tell him, rubbing at your stinging nose with your fist, pussy tightening when he pinches your throbbing clit.

“Aw, do you, baby? You love me?” Leon laughs, the mean smile on his face hidden in your shoulder, “That’s so cute.” He rocks back and forth, shallow thrusts that are more for him than they are for you, rabbiting his dick into your squelching pussy until his balls pulse and his shaft twitches inside of you. “Real— Real fuckin’ cute,” he grits out as he buries himself to the hilt, shooting his load in your willing little pussy.

“I think so,” you whimper, thighs trembling as the knot in your stomach snaps and you coat his cock in your slick. Hey, his dick isn't a problem then.

Leon thinks about calling his shrink. The bad shit he does won’t fix itself like he wants. “Clean up,” he tells you, looking at the wet ground. The soaked rug. Your face.

“What… Leon, where are you going?” You use your palms to mop the excess water from your face. “Seriously, Leon? I just… I told you that…”

He has things to do - Leon’s going to call his shrink and very promptly throw himself over the balcony when she doesn’t answer his call.

#leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy imagine #leon kennedy angst #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy smut #leon s kennedy x you #leon s kennedy angst #leon s kennedy smut #resident evil x you #resident evil angst #resident evil x reader #resident evil smut

[geraldmariaivo]

I recently saw a DP/DC post about Jason being Danny’s bio dad, and I want to spit out my own idea of it:

1) Jason doesn’t know he has a kid. He’ done a lot of shady things and met a lot of shady people, and you can’t tell me he remembers every night of it.

2) Danny knows he’s adopted, he just doesn’t care.  3) Danny suddenly has to care one day because of Ghost Prince legality reasons where he needs his parent/gaurdian to sign something important because he’s a child, and Clockwork refuses to. Obviously he can’t bring this to Jack&Maddie, and Jazz isn’t old enough to sign either, so he tries to find his biological parents to maybe only slightly bully this hapless civilian into signing a piece of paper that says Danny *can* sign things, and then fuck off. 

4) Danny sets off to find his bio-parents only to find that his mother is dead and not a ghost, and his father is somewhere in Gotham. Which is where the Bats are. 

5) With a bit of help from his court and Wulf, Danny scours the city to find whoever the hell this “Jason” is, because just knowing his first name clarifies very little in a city like Gotham.

6) A few of the court physicians accompanies this search party because they’re headed to Gotham, and there’s no telling what kind of bullshit will happen, even if there’s no ecto-weaponry within a hundred miles.

7) One of the oldest physicians encounters Red Hood, and is immediately revolted by the nasty-ass ectoplasm they haven’t seen since Pariah was locked up the first time. Naturally their first impulse is to get this absolutely wretched ectoplasm out of this human as soon as possible.

8) Jason, naturally, doesn’t trust this glowing green person who makes the Pit writhe and try to get away. As such, he makes getting any kind of ghostly medical attention as difficult as possible.

9) Medic #1 gives up doing it solo, and conscripts the other medical personnel to help them effectively pin Jason (now out of costume) down while they filter out the nasty shit and replace it with clean ectoplasm from the Realms so his body doesn’t go through shock from suddenly having no ectoplasm.

10) Jason is still riled up and suspicious as hell, but he does notice that the Pit isn’t really there anymore. There’s still something there, but it’s not the constant anger he’s learned to live with. It’s calm, almost peaceful, actually. It takes all of two seconds listening to them giving out instructions to realize that they’re behaving like actual, good doctors giving out real medical advice. They repeat themselves when needed, and make sure to go over the whole of their instructions thrice to make sure he knows what they’re saying. It’s incredibly weird for Jason, but if drinking this weird not-pit-water stuff once a week or if he’s craving it from this weird glowing container is what keeps the Pit from bothering him 24/7, then so be it.

11) Jason asks what the actual fuck these people are doing here, because Metas generally know to stay away from Gotham.

12) They explain that they’re ghosts, and that they’re with a search party looking for a man with the first name Jason, and is likely to have black hair, blue eyes, or both.

13) Jason immediately puts together that they’re looking for him, because he knows his life well enough that he knows there’s no hope that the Jason they’re looking for is some random civilian who happens to have black hair and blue eyes.

14) Jason asks why they want to find this man, and if they have a way to confirm whether or not the person they find is actually the person they’re looking for. He nearly has a stroke when they say that they need him to sign some important thing because his son -which, WHAT?!?! When did he have one of those?!?!?!- is the High Prince of the Infinite Realms, whatever the fuck that means, but can’t sign official documents into law since he’s a minor.

15) Jason, against his better judgement, tells them his name, and says it’s possible that he’s the Jason they’ve been looking for.

16) He is right.

17) Jason has to grapple with the fact that he not only had a son he didn’t know about, but the son also died before he could meet the kid, and then apparently became the prince of the dead. 

18) Somewhere in this time, Danny (as Phantom) finds out about the nasty Lazarus water from his physicians, and tells Jason that Amity Park is a place where he can find much better ectoplasm if the man needs it for health reasons, and that he just needs to contact the right people. Preferably one of the local vigilantes rather than the Drs. Fenton.

Timeskip (how far depends on what you want to do in the meantime)

19) Red Hood goes to Amity park on Bat business. This is where Danny and Jason each find out about the clusterfuck that is the other’s life.

20) Shenanigans.

#i made this post #dp x dc #jason todd #danny fenton #danny phantom

[lilmissnatcat24]

for no other reason than i worked at an ice cream shop for eight years, here's what ice cream the mass effect characters would eat

shepard: neapolitan, strawberry for their paragon side, chocolate for their renegade, vanilla to balance

garrus: moose tracks, but will pick it apart just for the peanut butter cups and give shepard the leftovers

tali: literally any booze flavored ice cream

liara: mint chocolate chip because she secretly kind've fucks with the taste of toothpaste but will never admit it out loud

kaidan: butter pecan. it's not everyone's favorite, but it's his, and he's totally cool with it

ashley: whatever the 2183 equivalent to the tonight dough. cookie dough chunks, brownie chunks, butterscotch, chocolate chips, malt chunks, everything

wrex: this man is old as balls!!!!!! rum raisin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

joker: lemon sherbet. you cannot tell me that man is not lactose intolerant

miranda: cherries garcia, little bit sweet, little bit tart

jack: the most sickening sweet shit you can think of. cotton candy with marshmallow superman with a side of sugar

jacob: some sort of dark chocolate peanut butter ice cream that sounds good in theory but in reality you can only take like 3 bites of before you get a tummy ache

zaeed: banana splits that he likes to mash together with a spoon and eat like some deconstructed milkshake

kasumi: the weird avant gard shit you see in hipster vegan shops, like some bacon sweet potato rosebud ice cream

mordin: coffee ice cream, because he likes the taste of coffee but if he were to actually drink it he would spontaneously combust

grunt: those froyo shops that were everywhere in 2014 where you could make a bowl with like 5% froyo and 95% other toppings and it cost 14 dollars

thane: doesn't like ice cream because it reminds him of how he abandoned his child and how his wife is dead and he could never go back to the life he left behind, the life of stability, because his body is engineered for a deadly purpose and he can never atone for his sins rocky road

samara: this woman is old as balls!!!!!!!!!!!!! pistachio!!!!!!!!!!!

legion: tried vanilla ice cream. too sticky, got stuck in his wiring.

james: one of those brownie sundaes that weighs approximately 5 pounds and is majority whipped cream

steve: chocolate chip. classy, just like him ;)

traynor: something smooth and rich and velvety and inexplicably sexy, like raspberry chocolate chunk

edi: takes the idea of ice cream a little too literally and just has a bowl of heavy cream with ice cubes. is confused why everyone is disgusted.

javik: ice cream is for primitives (peaches and cream)

#mass effect #shitpost #commander shepard #garrus vakarian #tali zora vas normandy #liara t'soni #kaidan alenko #ashley williams #urdnot wrex #mass effect joker #miranda lawson #jacob taylor #jack mass effect #zaeed massani #kasumi goto #mordin solus #urdnot grunt #thane krios #samara mass effect #legion mass effect #james vega #steve cortez #samantha traynor #edi #javik

[why4anne]

Racing Hearts

Part: 1

Pairing: Jack Hughes x Reader

Word-count: 2k

Summary: F1 prodigy Y/N L/N finds herself with an unexpected crush on NHL sensation Jack Hughes.

Face claim: Madison Beer + others

Masterlist

“Do I have to do this interview?” I asked my media manager. I had just arrived at my hotel in Canada and apparently I had been scheduled for an Interview in an hour. “Yes, Y/N, you have to do this interview. The other guest has already flown out early to do this interview before the race-weekend starts and it will look really bad if you don’t show up” Sarah has been my media manager since I moved to F1 at the age of 19, which was 3 years ago and she was more than used to my antics by now.

“What is it even about?” I asked as I switched my attention from my phone to fully look at her.

“It’s something about 2 stars at the age of 22 or something. The other guest is Jack Hughes, a hockey player in the NHL” Sarah looked at her notes as she said this.

“Hockey player?” I asked, exasperated.”Sarah, I know nothing about hockey! What are we even going to talk about?” 

“Don’t worry, the interviewer will make sure everything goes smoothly. You just have to sit there, smile and answer the questions.” It was obvious that she was fed up with my whining at this point so I decided to shut my mouth.

An hour and a half later I found myself in a white room with three mics standing on a table. I greeted a guy named Evan who was the host of the podcast that the interview was for and sat down in my seat, waiting for this other guy to show up. 

Five minutes later I was making small talk with the host as the door opened and a man with light brown hair walked in and fuck was he hot. I found myself staring at him as he shook hands with Evan. I could clearly see his biceps under his white t-shirt and I would be lying if I said that they were small. But, before I could look for longer I found him in front of me with his hand outstretched. I quickly pulled myself out of my daydream and stood up to greet him.

“What’s up, I’m Jack” He introduced himself, his mannerisms and way of talking all screamed cool boy, which was very different from the pampered rich boys who were the majority of the people in racing.

“I’m Y/N, nice to meet you” I answered with a polite smile and shook his hand, locking eyes with him as I did so. I noticed how blue they were.

“Alright, if you both feel up for it I think we should get going” Evan interrupted our moment. 

“Sounds good” Jack agreed and we both took our seats.

“Welcome back to the Sport podcast, today we are joined by not one, but two special guests. We have hockey superstar Jack Hughes, a 22 year old center of the New Jersey Devils. He was drafted first overall in 2019 and has just come off a career high season with 99 points and a playoff run.” Evan introduced Jack to the podcast and I couldn’t help but be impressed with his stats. My knowledge in hockey may be limited but the way that Evan was describing him made him sound like a really good player

“Hey” Jack said into the mic. I couldn’t help but smile at his awkwardness .

“And we also have F1 protege Y/N L/N. She is currently the youngest driver on the grid but don’t be fooled, she’d been tearing up the grid for 3 years now and is currently looking like she might become the youngest World Champion in Formula 1 history, bringing the championship back to Ferrari for the first time since 2007.” Evan moved on to me.

“Ah, Evan, don’t jinx it” I smiled, all of my media training on the forefront of my mind and after years of this I would say that I’m quite skilled at the media game. 

“Just keeping it real,” Evan chuckled. “Now, how much do you guys know about each other?” 

Both me and Jack looked at each other, seeing who was going to answer first.

“Well, to be completely honest, I don’t know a lot about hockey so I’m kind of going into this interview completely blind, sorry” I admitted, feeling kind of bad for my lack of knowledge.

“No worries, I bet that you’re busy, " Jack reassured me. “I would say I’m a casual F1 fan, like I know the top teams and drivers”

"That's fair," I replied with a friendly smile. "I'm sure we can still have an interesting conversation, even if we're not experts in each other's fields."

Evan nodded in agreement and continued, "Absolutely, it's all about getting to know each other better and sharing some insights from your respective worlds. So, Jack, tell us, what's it like being a professional hockey player in the NHL?"

Jack leaned forward, his easygoing smile making him even more charming. "Being in the NHL has been a dream come true for me. It's intense, the competition is fierce, and the fans are incredibly passionate. There's nothing quite like stepping onto the ice in front of a packed arena. You feel the energy and the pressure, but that's what makes it all so exciting."

I listened to Jack's response with genuine interest, even though I had limited knowledge about hockey. He spoke with such passion and enthusiasm that it was easy to understand why he had such a successful career in the sport.

Evan then turned to me and asked, "Y/N, can you share with us what it's like being an F1 driver, especially at such a young age?"

I took a moment to gather my thoughts before responding, "Well, Formula 1 is an incredibly challenging and fast-paced sport with high pressure on the drivers and teams. As a driver, you have to be physically and mentally prepared for each race and you have to put up the results if you want to stay. I mean, there are only 20 seats in the entire world and if you’re not performing there is always another driver who will. I think going into it so young was both a blessing and a curse. It definitely put more attention on me as a driver, but at the same time I kind of got a head start.”

Jack nodded in understanding as I spoke. "Yeah, I can imagine the pressure, especially at such a young age. I mean, you're literally racing against some of the best drivers in the world. It must be quite the experience."

I appreciated his understanding, and I was starting to feel more at ease with the conversation. "Absolutely, and it's a constant learning process. But it's also incredibly rewarding when you have those moments of success and achieve your goals."

Evan jumped in, keeping the conversation flowing smoothly. "It's clear that both of you have a deep passion for your respective sports. What are some of the biggest challenges you've faced in your careers so far?"

Jack took a moment to reflect before answering, "One of the biggest challenges in my career has been dealing with injuries. Hockey can be a rough sport, and I've had my fair share of injuries that required a lot of rehab and patience. But it's part of the game, and it's made me stronger both physically and mentally."

I nodded in agreement, "In F1, the physical and mental demands are also immense. The travel schedule, the constant competition, and the pressure to perform can take a toll. Plus, adapting to different tracks and conditions is a unique challenge in itself. And, of course, there's the challenge of dealing with the media and public expectations."

Evan acknowledged our responses, "It's clear that both of your careers come with their own set of challenges, and yet you've managed to rise to the top of your respective sports. What advice would you give to young athletes aspiring to reach the level of success that you've achieved?"

Jack leaned in and said, "I'd say that dedication and hard work are essential. You have to be willing to put in the hours, stay committed to your training, and never give up, no matter how tough it gets. Surround yourself with a supportive team and use setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow."

I added, "I completely agree with Jack. In addition, I'd say it's important to keep a clear vision of your goals and stay focused. Stay true to your passion and love for the sport because that's what will drive you to overcome the challenges. And never forget that setbacks are part of the journey; they make the successes even more rewarding."

Jack nodded in agreement with my response. "That's some great advice, Y/N. Having a clear vision and staying passionate about what you do is crucial in any career, especially in sports."

Evan smiled and continued, "Thank you both for sharing your insights and experiences. It's clear that you're both dedicated and passionate individuals in your respective fields, and your advice is valuable for anyone striving for success. Now, before we wrap up, let's have a little fun. How about a rapid-fire round of questions for each of you?"

Jack and I exchanged amused glances, ready for the challenge. Evan fired off a series of questions, alternating between us.

"Favorite pre-game ritual?"

Jack answered first, "Listening to music that gets me pumped up."

I followed, "Visualizing the entire race, corner by corner, in my mind."

"Favorite post-game or post-race meal?"

Jack grinned, "Pizza, no doubt."

I chuckled, "A plate of pasta."

"Most memorable career moment so far?"

Jack's eyes lit up, "Scoring my first NHL goal. It was a dream come true."

I shared, "Winning my first F1 race. It was an unforgettable feeling."

As the rapid-fire questions continued, Jack and I found ourselves sharing more personal insights and even some lighthearted stories. We learned about our favorite travel destinations, hobbies outside of our respective sports, and our sources of inspiration.

The interview had transitioned from a professional exchange to a more relaxed and friendly conversation. Jack's charismatic and easygoing personality made it easy to connect, and I found myself genuinely enjoying our interaction. We even exchanged a few friendly jokes along the way, creating a comfortable atmosphere in the studio.

Evan, our host, couldn't help but smile as he witnessed the chemistry between us. "It's clear that you two are getting along great."

Jack nodded with a playful grin, "Yeah! Maybe we'll see Y/N at a hockey game one day."

I laughed, "Well, my media manager told me you’re attending the Canadian Grand Prix this weekend. Maybe I will see you in the Ferrari garage."

Jack chuckled, "I'll be sure to swing by the Ferrari garage and show some support. Maybe you can give me a crash course in F1"

I grinned at the idea. "Deal! And I'll make sure to catch a New Jersey Devils game when the opportunity arises. Maybe you can teach me a thing or two about hockey."

The interview wrapped up and Jack and I exchanged one last friendly smile.

"It was a pleasure, Jack. I’ll see you at the Grand Prix this weekend, I’ll be the one in red" I joked as we said goodbye.

Jack chuckled, "I'm looking forward to it. And if you ever want to catch a hockey game, just give me a call."

I chuckled, "I might just take you up on that offer. Best of luck with your season, Jack."

Jack flashed a warm smile as he nodded. "You too, Y/N. Good luck this weekend."

We both exchanged contact information and made plans to meet up during the Grand Prix this weekend. It was unexpected, but I had enjoyed our conversation, and I was genuinely looking forward to seeing Jack again. 

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, jackhughes and 1 242 635 others

yourusername: I had a blast on @/Sports_People today. Go check out their latest episode "Two stars under 22", where @/jackhughes and I delve into our experiences in sports.

view comments:

Sports_People: Such a great episode, thanks for joining us!

liked by yourusername

jackhughes: I had a great time! See you this weekend

- yourusername: I'll be the one in red!😜

holly_hockey: My two faves together? Yes please!

ferrarimorris: I'll be at the race on Sunday, hope you win! Forza Ferrari!

jackhugheswifeyyy: Of course she's pretty aswell, my chances are getting slimmer by the minute🤧

- caufieldsonfire: she's a brunette, don't worry

curiousgeorge: Move to McLaren please! We need youuuu!!🙏💀

#racing hearts au! #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes #formula 1 #hockey fic #hockey fanfiction #nhl #f1 fanfic #f1 #why4anne #Jack Hughes x F1 driver #hockey #Jack Hughes x F1 driver reader #jack hughes fanfic #jack hughes imagines #jack hughes fic #jack hughes imagine

[ddejavvu]

you ask for dbf!hotch thoughts? i will absolutely deliver ‼️

okay so imagine it’s like midnight and you’ve been locked out of your place (it’s not the end of the world, your family has the spare, but they’re likely already asleep)

the only thing you can think of - your last resort so to speak - is your dad’s best friend because god only knows agent hotchner keeps godawful hours, and he’s been enough of a constant in your life to know that at the very least he’d probably let you crash at his for the night.

so after a quick call and being greeted by a surprisingly raspy voice (that suggested you had in fact woken him up), he’s said to “stay put, honey. i’m on my way.”

this is just an excuse because i’d love to see domestic fluff 😩💕

having to borrow a pair of clothes, showering at his place and you’re driving him crazy because you’ve used his body wash and now you fucking smell like him?????!!!! sharing a bed and latching on to him in the middle of the night (you have absolutely no idea) because all you want is to be held by him I MEAN TALK ABOUT UWUS

just an idea 🥰

anyway i’d love to see you write this because you’re a fucking phenomenal writer <3 kisses mwuah

THIS- AAARGH 👹👹

this post is 18+ (and so are its characters), minors dni.

it's not that you're afraid they'll be mad at you for waking them up, it's that you literally rang the doorbell 934572475 times and they just didn't answer.. like they are DEAD asleep, you can't get in and you don't want to set off the alarm system so you're stuck on the front porch for the night :( your friend is out of town and you don't want to walk back to work to call a hotel to set up a reservation for one night, so you're kind of at a loss!! but then your eyes stray to a little muddy footprint on the sidewalk and you're like aw yeah that's when jack stepped in mud and then tracked it over the lawn and then you're like !! jack !! and his father !!

you know for a fact that jack is sleeping over at the neighbors house bc you'd seen him earlier, and you're fairly certain that it's because aaron needed to stay late at work. you're hoping he's still there, or at the very least, still awake, but when you call and he answers on the second ring with a very raspy 'hotchner', you realize you'd probably woken him up.

you're nervous now, because he's only been kind to you in the past, but now you've interrupted what little sleep the man gets, and what if he's angry? so you explain yourself very apologetically, assuring him that it's totally okay if you don't want to. but he barely hesitates before saying “stay put, honey. i’m on my way.” like you've said... WHAT IF I MARRIED HIM ??

UGH maybe you've been out with your friends so you're in a kind of skimpy outfit so he comes to pick you up like O.O and you laugh like if there's any spare t-shirts you don't mind me using, can i sleep in one? and he's like mhm. yeah honey i can do that. and he lets you use his bathroom 'cause jack's tub is full of bath toys and kid shampoo, and he's given you a shirt and some old loose shorts to sleep in, but you come out of the bathroom in your towel asking for a spare towel for your hair.

as he hands it over he realizes you smell like him now, because, oh fuck, of course you used his shampoo/body wash, and you brush out your hair using a little tiny brush that you ask him to retrieve from your purse. he definitely sees a tube of lipstick in your purse and he definitely imagines how it'll look on your lips and how it would look smeared on his cock

now while you were showering he'd gotten back in bed under the covers and was reading the newspaper with his little reading glasses on and !!!!!! you've never seen such a domestic sight !!!!!!! you're sure you could have crashed on the couch but it's a loveseat, not a full sofa, and :( it just wouldn't be comfortable :( and jack's bed is def too small, so when you're changed and ready for bed, you just hop right up into bed beside him and he looks at you like 🤨

you're like thanks for letting me stay here, aaron and he doesn't dare suggest you sleeping anywhere else, just nodding with a sweet little smile and asking if you were ready to turn off the lights. when you nod and snuggle into your spot in the bed he flicks the lamp off, and settles down into his spot. there's minimal talking, because neither of you are sure what to say, but once your breathing evens out and you drift off to sleep you roll over, in search of the warmth that he exudes. he doesn't even pretend to dislike it, he doesn't bother readjusting you or anything, he just curls his arm over your waist and helps you get your head on his chest <333

and when he wakes up to you clinging to him like a koala, he just kisses your forehead and brushes your hair away from your face to ask if you want breakfast 🥹🥹🥹 he mumbles it against your skin and everything all sleepy and soft GAH I NEED HIM <3

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner scenario #aaron hotchner oneshot #aaron hotchner one-shot #aaron hotchner one shot #aaron hotchner headcanon #aaron hotchner headcanons #aaron hotchner hc #aaron hotchner hcs #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotchner blurb #aaron hotchner drabble #aaron hotchner dialogue #aaron hotchner fluff #aaron hotchner x reader fanfiction #aaron hotchner au #dbf!hotch #multiverse mondays #ddejavvu’s multiverse mondays

[oysterdelite]

introduction !!

MINORS DNI

Hello everyone! I’m making this blog cause oh man what is a 20 year old with a weird interest in breeding other t-boys to do but get on tumblr and find a community lol

Anyway hi I’m Oyster (or delite or del or my real name which I’m only willing to share if we become buds!) I’m a Service/Soft Dom & Stone Top, I’m pre-T, transmasc, and use He/They pronouns (He preferred!)

I like puppy boys and kitty boys and enjoy being called Sir most! I will be posting probably mostly about pounding my boyfriend most because I’m deranged.

(Yes I chose this blog name because something something eating clam lol)

I’m autistic, chunky, and Latino so plz no ableism, fatphobia, or racism, you will be blocked!

Anons: Currently Accepting Anons!

DMs: CLOSED!

Star ⭐️, A, Anon <3, Top Anon, 🦊, 🧸, 🎾🐾, 🦈, 💤, Holy 🪽 (he/him), 🪷, ❇️, 💙, 🦇🐾 , 🎲, 🏵️, 🐑, 🍓🐶, 🌿, 🕯️, 🐕🎀, 💜🖋️, 🦴, 🐚, 🌟, L, 🥕, 🪱, 🍑, 🐈‍⬛🖤, 🦷, 🥀🐾, 🍪, 🕸️, 🍬, 🏴‍☠️🧬, 🌹✨

Tags!:

#oyster answers for answer asks, #oyster’s anons for answering anon asks #oyster delite and #oysterdelite for general tag, #oyster blazes for when I’m faded and talking out my ass, #oyster blogs and #nerdy oyster for my interests and general blogging, and #oyster says something serious for serious talk!

I’m 5 feet tall which I think is always very funny to people who can’t comprehend a short autistic trans guy who only tops lol

More below the cut about kinks, limits, dni, and more info about me!

My posts are not consent to send me unsolicited photos- please ask FIRST!

Given that this is my page, I am allowed at any time to stop interacting with you for any reason. If I am uncomfortable or just not in the mood to talk- I may not answer. Please do not take offense to this. I am still a regular human behind the screen.

I am fine being friends with y’all but I do have a partner so any “flirting” is pretty much platonic and does not mean we are dating, talking stage, a “situationship,” etc. If you would like to get to know me more please feel free to reach out but just because you jack off to my text posts does NOT mean you deserve to have access to any personal or private information about me and is not consent to pressure me into sharing more than I’m comfortable with.

Kinks!

(Highlighted are my faves!)

Breeding

Drool

Monster Fucking

Knotting

Semi-Public sex

Begging

Hair pulling

Praise

Light cnc/Dubcon (agreed upon before hand and given signals when it’s ok)

Edging

Pet play

Somno

Intox

Voyeurism

Overstimulation

Teasing

& more I can’t remember rn

Limits

Feel free to keep interacting with my blog if you enjoy these, they’re just not for me!

Any body fluids other than cum or spit (blood, pee, fecal matter, vomit, etc)

Impact play

Bondage (really depends on the situation! Intense bondage is a little too much for where I am now!)

Forced masc

Proper rape play (light cnc is fun but I will not enact scenes involving grabbing someone off a street or forcing myself on them if they’re thrashing about or fighting back)

Daddy kink (I prefer Sir! This may change from day to day depending on how I’m feeling but in general I usually won’t respond to that)

Hard Limits

PLEASE DO NOT REBLOG OR COMMENT ON MY CONTENT IF YOU ENGAGE WITH THESE TOPICS

Race play

Ageplay

Ddlg or anything similar

Beastiality

Necroplay

Detrans

Anything weight related (feeder/feedee etc)

Incest or fauxcest

DNI!

Racists, Transphobes, Ableists, Fatphobes, Conservatives, Zionists (Free Palestine!), etc

Anyone under 18!!

MAPS, pedos, Zoos, etc

Men DNI blogs (I am a man! Please for your sake, don’t interact with my stuff!)

Anyone who thinks they can “fix” my stone top identity. No I don’t bottom, no I don’t like receiving please don’t try to change that I will block you!

Get to know me better!

I have an elderly dog and I work as a math tutor for my college. I’m currently studying graphic design but I was previously a biology major. I like to draw in my spare time, I’m a huge fan of post punk and new wave music. Every time I go to karaoke, Creep by Radiohead is the first song I choose (yes I’m cringe). I love D&D and nerdy shit and spend most of my time at my local game club! I’m autistic, adhd, and probably have POTS and hypermobility so some days or weeks are harder on my body than others! My favorite color is pink and I love spy movies and comedy sitcoms about terrible people.

I have a real life outside of tumblr, please do not be offended if it takes me a little while to get back to you!

I think that’s about it! Come have fun with me! Feel free to send in asks to me anytime, but I am getting busy so I ask that you be patient!

Love,

OysterDelite

#mlm nsft #t4t #gay #t4t mlm #t4t nsft #ftm nsft #ftm sub #ftm ns/fw #ftm bottom #ftm puppy #trans ftm #transmasc #breeding k1nk #submisive and breedable #FTM dom

[thatgirlstrawberry]

Sick Surprise pt. 6 — Rossi’s Princess Castle

In which Spencer invites Y/N to his team’s dinner but the sitter for Eloise cancels

Warnings: Fluff, ¿smut scene?, Eloise, Henry and Jack being adorable, dirty jokes, Derek teasing Spencer, the team being like wtf— 😧

Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Spencer’s chest heaved as he collapsed on the bed next to his girlfriend. Her eyes were still squeezed shut and her lip between her teeth.

After a moment of breathing and calming down, Y/N hummed and moved to lay close to him. “Wanna go shower?” She asked, kissing his neck. “We can be louder in there.” He chuckled, rubbing her cheek with the pad of his thumb.

“Of course.” He kissed her lips and pulled away, laughing when she tried to catch his lips again. She giggled as he began talking again. “So… there’s this dinner…” He trailed off.

Y/N hummed, her fingers grazing over his abs gently. “Mhm…”

Spencer cleared his throat. “My friend from work is hosting at his house and Um—“ He paused and kissed her because her lips were searching for his. “They know that I’m dating someone— that someone being you— and Rossi invited you.”

Y/N stopped he movement of her hand and looked up at him. A small smile grew on her lips. “Really?” She asked quietly.

Spencer smiled down at her. “Really. I would really like for them to meet you.”

Y/N nodded. “But what if they don’t like me?”

The man scoffed. “They’re gonna love you.” He whispered. “I love you.”

Her smile grew and she grabbed the side of his face, kissing him. He pushed her hair out of the way and kissed her back. “I love you too. So much.” She mumbled between kisses. “And I would love to come to dinner.”

Spencer chuckled. “If you keep kissing me like that we’re not gonna make it to the shower.”

Y/N smirked, moving her body to straddle waist. “I’m okay with that.”

.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.

Two days later, Y/N stood in front of her full body mirror in a dress and heels. Eloise was jumping on her bed and singing some song about colors she had heard on the tv earlier in the day.

“Mommy, how long you gonna be gone?” Eloise asked as she stopped jumping.

The mother hummed and spun around. “Just a few hours.”

Eloise shook her head and frowned. “A foo hours is wike… forever, mommy!”

Y/N giggled and sat on the edge of her bed, letting Eloise lean against her. “No it’s not, Eloisey. And you get to be here with Katie. Don’t you like Katie?”

The girl gasped. “Oh my dosh— I wuv Katie.” She breathed out.

Y/N smiled and nodded, kissing her cheek. “I know! You guys are gonna have so much fun!”

Like the universe hated her or something, her phone buzzed beside her and she picked it up.

From: Katie

Hi Y/N! I’m sooooo sorry but i can’t watch Eloise tonight. I think I caught the flu and I’d hate to get her sick

Y/N sighed and shut her eyes. “You’ve got to be fucking me in the ass.” She groaned, forgetting that there was a 3 year old right next to her.

“Mommy, why did you say the fuck word?” Eloise asked causing her to groan louder.

She opened her eyes and put a smile on her face. She knew that Spencer’s phone was on silent and he probably wouldn’t be paying much attention to it while he was with his team.

“No reason baby.” She shook her head. “Go pick out an outfit for you to wear tonight, okay?”

Eloise furrowed her eyebrows. “Why?”

Y/N swiped Jaír out of her baby’s eyes. “Because Katie can’t come tonight so, we’re gonna go eat dinner with Spencer.”

Eloise squealed and crawled off of her mom’s bed and ran out into her room.

.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.

When Y/N arrived at the house— the fucking mansion— she sighed and looked back at Eloise.

“Oh my dosh, Spenther’s fwiend wives in a princess castle!” The girl shouted, clapping her hands.

Y/N laughed. “Yes, he does live in a princess castle.” She took her phone off of the gps thingy in her car and got out.

She walked around the front of the car and got Eloise out of her car seat. “You ready?” She asked, hiking the girl up on her hip, and holding her fist out.

“Ready fweddy.” Eloise nodded and bumped her tiny fist on Y/N’s.

Y/N nodded and began to walk up the stone driveway. She got to the door, feeling her heart hammer in her chest. “Oh god, I can’t do this.” She whispered.

“Yeth you can mommy.” Eloise smiled and touched her mother’s cheek.

She kissed Eloise’s forehead and quickly pressed the doorbell. They heard the sound outside before hearing Spencer’s voice.

“That’s Y/N!” He said, trying to be quiet. “Don’t ask too many questions— Derek why are you sm- stop smirking.”

Y/N took a deep breath in and the door swung open. Spencer’s smile widened when he saw Eloise in her arms.

The woman shook her head. “I’m really sorry, my sitter canceled and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to find one on short notice and I’m really—“

“Y/N, Y/N.” Spencer stopped her. “It’s okay! I was hoping you’d bring Eloise anyway.” He said, looking at the kid. “I missed my girl anyways.” He smiled and Eloise held her arms out.

Y/N let Spencer take her out of her arms. “Are you sure this is okay? Do I look okay? Is my makeup-“

Spencer leaned forward to kiss her shortly. “Everything is fine.” He nodded.

Y/N nodded and smiled up at him nervously, following him as he moved back inside the house.

She walked behind him and heard a quiet gasp as they entered the dining room. “Oh my God, is that a child!?”

Y/N bit her lip and stood next to Spencer, smiling nervously and looking around at everyone. “Uh, guys this is Y/N.” He said nodding down at her. “And this is Eloise,” He noticed how Y/N stiffened under the team’s stares. He cleared his throat.

A blonde dressed in bright purple stood up and made her way towards them. “Oh my goodness!” She pulled Y/N into a hug causing a surprised noise to leave the woman’s mouth. “It’s so nice to meet you!” She pulled away and looked at the girl in Spencer’s arms. “And you too! Oh my gosh you’re adorable.”

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you.” Y/N spoke.

“I’m Penelope!”

Eloise became shy and she waved, leaning into Spencer’s neck. Y/N giggled and said hi.

Then, everyone else walked up to them and introduced themselves to her and Eloise.

Derek and Savannah, David Rossi, Emily Prentiss, JJ and Will and Aaron Hotchner all greeted her with a smile and a handshake— JJ hugged her.

When the blonde woman met Eloise, she glanced up at Spencer with wide eyes. “I’m JJ.” She told the girl.

“Hi JJ.” Eloise greeted quietly.

Y/N smiled and Eloise looked at her with wide eyes. “What’s wrong baby?” The girl waved her over and she walked over, leaning closer to her. Eloise whispered something in her mom’s ear.

A moment later, she pulled away from her and looked at Rossi. “I’m sorry, can we go use your bathroom?”

The man nodded. “Of course.” He smiled. “It’s right down that hallway to the left.”

“Thank you.” She nodded, taking Eloise from Spencer and nodding at him before walking to the bathroom.

The team waited until her heels stopped clicking and the bathroom door shut.

Derek scoffed. “So how exactly did you win her over?” He asked with a chuckle. Savannah slapped his arm.

Spencer rolled his eyes. “We met at this coffee shop near her apartment—“

JJ smiled. “What, like five years ago? I mean, that kid is huge!” She exclaimed in a hushed whisper.

He shook his head. “No Um… I met her six months ago. Eloise is Um… she’s not mine.” He hated saying because even though technically it was true, anything a father would do for his daughter, he’d do for Eloise.

“She’s adorable, Reid.” Emily spoke. “Oh, the kid is too.” She jokingly shrugged.

Spencer smiled and rolled his eyes. “She’s really nervous so can we please tone down the compliments.”

JJ’s eyes lit up. “Ooh! Maybe Eloise would like to play with Henry and Jack when dinner is cooking.” She pursed her lips. “They’re just in the back yard.”

Spencer shrugged. “We’ll have to ask her.” As if on cue, Y/N’s heels began clicking again and Eloise was saying things.

They came around the corner and /N was holding Eloise’s hand as they walked. She let go of her mother’s hand and ran up to Rossi, pulling on his pant leg. “Scuse me, mithter. Do you wive in a princess castle?”

The team laughed and Rossi bent down a bit. “I do live in a princess castle.” He nodded.

Spencer chuckled and leaned over to Y/N as the two of them went into a deep conversation about Eloise’s favorite princesses.

“Is it okay if she goes outside and plays with JJ and Hotch’s boys?” He asked.

Y/N nodded. “Yeah, of course. But you didn’t need to ask my permission.” She told him quietly. “I trust you, okay?”

Spencer nodded and kissed the side of her head before getting Eloise’s attention. “Hey, Eloisey do you wanna go play outside and meet some new friends?”

The girl nodded shyly and Spencer held out his hands. Eloise grabbed onto both and hopped onto his feet. Y/N laughed as he began to waddle towards the sliding doors behind the dining room table.

JJ went out before him so she could rally up the other kids. “Hey guys?” She called. Y/N followed behind Spencer and Eloise.

The boys stopped throwing the ball around and came running towards JJ. “Is dinner done yet, mommy?” Henry asked.

JJ chuckled. “Not yet honey. I wanted you and Jack to meet Spencer’s friends Y/N and Eloise.”

They looked up at the woman and then at the girl who held a small smile. “I’m Eloise.” She nodded. “You wike pwaying superhewoes?” She asked.

Jack nodded rapidly and Henry gasped. “We love playing superheroes.”

Eloise hopped off of Spencer’s feet. “Otay. I’m donna be the good one. You duys be da bad ones.”

She ran further into the yard and Y/N laughed, covering her mouth as they ran after her. “She’s gonna sleep gooood tonight.” She nodded with a smile.

Rossi tapped her on the shoulder and she turned around. “Would you like a glass of wine?”

“Ooh.” She smiled. “What do you have?” She asked.

Rossi chuckled. “A whole damn cellar, sweetheart.”

.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.

Emily, Penelope, JJ, Savannah and Y/N all stood around the kitchen island with their glasses of wine. The guys sat around in the backyard watching the kids play. “So…” Emily smirked. “How’s the sex?”

Y/N almost choked on her wine and took the glass away from her mouth, wiping her noir with a napkin. She giggled and kissed her teeth. JJ slapped Emily’s arm. “What? It’s a real question.” She shrugged.

The woman inhaled. “It’s fuckin’ mind blowing. He like a vagina wizard or something.” She laughed. The rest of the girls laughed as well.

They were consumed in conversation when the oven dinged. Y/N raised her hand. “I’ll go get the guys.” She told them.

She set her glass down and walked out of the kitchen and towards the sliding doors. The guy’s chairs were faced away from the door and she slowly open it. Before she called for them, she paused when she caught the end of their conversation.

“I think she was sent by God. She’s perfect.” Spencer’s voice was quiet but she smiled hearing every word. “A-and Eloise is the cherry on top. I didn’t know that I wanted kids until I met her. She’s the best. And she’s just like her mother.”

Y/N teared up and bit her lip as the guys all ‘awed’ and patted him on the back. “And I’m gonna marry her. I don’t know when but it’s going to happen.”

Her grin widened and she cleared her throat. “Um, I think dinner is ready.” She said quietly. They all turned back, not think that she had heard their entire conversation.

Rossi popped out of his chair and clapped. “Great! You’re gonna love my lasagna.” He nodded.

“Lasagna?” She repeated, glancing at her cute but very messy girl.

Rossi chuckled. “Oh, don’t worry. I made the kids chicken nuggets and fries.”

Y/N sighed in relief and laughed. She saw Eloise running up to her and she bent down. The girl ran and jumped into her arms. “Mommy, can Jack and Henry come over tomorrow!?” She asked.

Y/n spun her around. “We’ll have to ask their parents but it’s okay with me! Come on let’s go eat!”

Spencer smiled as he watched Y/N wiggle her around as they went inside.

He got so lucky.

.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.

After dinner, the kids were watching a Disney movie in Rossi’s home theater and the adults were all standing around the kitchen island talking.

Spencer grabbed Y/N’s hand and she leaned over to him. “I love you.” She spoke quietly. “And thank you for being with me and Eloise.”

He kissed her cheek, knowing that the others were too immersed in conversation with each other. “I will always be with you.”

Y/N giggled. “And the girls might tease you at work for a little while.”

Spencer furrowed his eyebrows with a smile. “Why?” He asked, rubbing his hand over her lower back.

“I may or may not have called you a vagina wizard.”

———————————————————————-

HAHAHAHAHAHH

I love this so much and I love that Y/N and Eloisey met the teammmmm!

The next chapter has some angst and it’s gonna be about Eloise’s 4th birthday! So excited!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter

Love ya bunches ❤️❤️❤️

Taglist: @mrsgweasley @tuesdayyellowxx @blue-willows @monzarella @winkev1

@criminallymagic

@mermateyepmatewithte

@lipstixstain

@urlovelydarling

@dreatine

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#spencer reid #spencer fluff #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid smut #criminal minds imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x original female character #criminal minds #spencer x oc #spencer x reader

[softhairedhotch]

Aaron genuinely not understanding how yu could have a crush on him and feeling baaaaad abt having one on you cuz he's yur boss and much older than you, plus has a bit of a low self-esteem is like my jam and bread

Like he genuinely feels bad that in his head he refers to you by your first name cuz ummm that's inappropriate, in his opinion. He can't help thinking of you tho and he's yearning harddd for you :((( so you turning round and saying you are into him and want to go on a date with him ?? Brain short-circuits cuz?? He's fucking shook. Takes a few dates for him to realise that yeah nah you genuinely are whipped for him 🥺🥺

i think about this so much!! like he'd feel so unprofessional about it bc he's your superior AND he's much older so he never wants to tell you because he thinks you deserve someone so much better than him (and someone your age) </3 he'd be so insecure too, thinking stuff like "how could they ever love me?" and "i'm too old for them" AHHHHDSKFHSDKJ I'LL CRY JUST THINKING ABOUT IT

so when the two of you find out that you're into each other, aaron is just like,, fully taken aback. absolutely flabbergasted. he thinks it's a joke tbh because in his mind it's in no way possible for someone like you to love someone like him :(( god if only he knew how incredible and beautiful and perfect he is :(( tbh he'd say the exact same thing about you bc you'd also go insane over HIM ACTUALLY LIKING YOU BACK!!!

it definitely takes a few dates for the fact you like him to fully sink in. he kinda doesn't wanna pursue the relationship at first because he really thinks you deserve better than him. but after a while, he realises he'd be so stupid to pass up going on a date with you, even if it only ends up being a one-time thing. after two or three dates, he's somehow MORE in love with you, something he didn't think was possible, and he's even beginning to think that maybe you really do love him back (which you obviously do)!!

when you do something really thoughtful for him, like getting him something he really likes or giving him flowers on the fourth date or buying something for jack - OR OH MY GOD even telling him that he doesn't have to cancel the third/fourth date when jack gets sick because you can just go over and have a night in with him (instead of going to a fancy restaurant like he wanted) and you even go to check in on jack when you hear him wake up!!! - it hits him that you love him just as much as he loves you and he thinks he might just be the luckiest man ever :')

#i need to kiss him #right at this second #he makes me so happy #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x gender neutral reader #criminal minds #casks #a tag <33 #casper's cute moots

[goldenlikedayl1ght]

matilda - m. murdock

a/n: hey guys i have back pain and i have daddy issues so i wanted to write a quick blurb about it. so. sorry if you guys cant particularly relate to this one it's for me <3 warnings: ANGST, reader cries a lot, probably cursing, lots of daddy issues, lots of being upset, mentions of fathers being drunk, matt picks up the reader but matt in my brain can lift like 250+ so, uhhhh i don't know guys just angst and daddy issues ! word count: 1.2k summary: you have daddy issues and back pain. matt does his best to help. pairing: matt murdock x gn!reader now playing: matilda - harry styles "i don't believe that time will change your mind/in other words, I know they won't hurt you anymore/as long as you can let them go"

Matt finds you on the floor of the kitchen, your knees hugged against your chest. He is so tired, bruises starting to really hurt after sitting all purple and blue on his ribs and his arms. He’s just in his boxers his hair damp from a shower.

You are just in a pair of boxers and a muscle tee. Your knuckles are white, and you are staring into space in the most literal definition. It’s four a.m. You are a twenty something year old adult, you have not slept in your mother’s bed in years.

And yet, you feel like a child.

And your back is fucking killing you.

Matt sits next to you on the kitchen floor, goosebumps shooting up his skin as his feet and palms feel the cold, rough tile floor. His hand finds your arm and gently rubs his thumb against your skin.

“What’re you doing on the floor, sweetheart?” His voice is low and thick with sleep. He is so tired, that his words aren’t nearly as poetic, sappy or flirtatious as he wants them to be (maybe not all at once, but he most certainly wished they were better than that).

You consider lying to him for a moment. Really, you do. You could tell him that the floor is just more comfortable, that you want him to fuck you right here against the tiles, that you just could not sleep, that there is nothing deeper than a busy brain that cannot calm down.

“My dad called me while you were away.” You tell him, your voice soft. Matt will be able to hear it no matter how loudly or quietly you say it. And at your confession, he tenses. He has a complicated relationship with your father, but his relationship is calm compared to the raging waters that make up how you feel about the man.

“Okay,” he starts, rubbing your arm gently. “And what did he say?”

You blink.

“Nothing. Nothing that should have made me feel like this.” You tell him, a horrible taste in your mouth. From what, you do not know. Matt doesn’t respond right away, waiting for you to tell him more. “He was drunk.” You say quietly.

“Oh.” He knows you don’t drink. He knows you have a very complicated relationship with substances. “I can understand why that might be upsetting..” he tries, and you shake your head, your face twisting into frustration, anger, and perhaps a hint of sadness.

“He’ll never change.” You whisper, too afraid to be any louder, too afraid that maybe from miles and miles away, your father will hear you. That maybe if you say it any louder, it won’t be a secret anymore, and that you’ll start crying if you say it any louder. “He’ll never ever change.” You say, and your head turns to look at him.

And you stare at the man that you love, and you stare and stare, and you think about Jack Murdock who loved his son so much that he was willing to die for him to have a better life, that he was entirely selfless when it came to the person you are lucky enough to call yours.

And you think about how your father wants nothing to do with you. He never did. Not really.

That’s when you start to cry.

It starts with a few tears rolling down your cheeks, salty and fat, as if they hold all of the memories your brain has locked away to protect you. Then, the tears come out faster, and faster, until you are choking on your own breath, racking with sobs. Matt’s arms are around you in an instant.

He pulls you close to him, and you feel bad for getting tears all over his skin. He’ll tell you it’s his fault for wearing just briefs. He pulls you into his lap, and while you cry into his neck, his hand comes down to your back and slips under your shirt, gently rubbing it up and down.

You twitch at the feeling, your back still aching as you sit with him, the pain contributing to your tears. Matt’s lips kiss your forehead, and he just holds you for a long time. Your breathing becomes short with how violently you’re sobbing.

“Hey, easy..” he says softly before he tilts your head up to look at him. “Your breathing isn’t healthy. Come on, watch me,” and he takes deep breathes in and out, expecting you to copy his attempts. When you’re finally at a point where you an breath on your own, Matt begins wiping your tears gently.

“Sorry…” You say quietly. He just shushes you softly and leans in to kiss your cheek.

“You never have to apologize for your emotions.” He promises, “I love you so much. I am so sorry he’s like that,” and now Matt is crying and he’s not sure why, but you feel awful about it, so your shaky hands come up to wipe his tears and he wants to laugh at your attempt at gentleness because he wonders how often you were shown the same kindness and his heart aches at the most realistic answer.

“Honey, you never have to worry about him again. You made it out, he can’t hurt you anymore..” He tells you, and you try to believe him. “You’ll never feel anything except safe and loved, I promise.” He says quietly, before leaning in to kiss you gently. “Is there anything else?” He senses that you are in physical pain too. Partially because he can tell by how your jaw clenches that you are tense, but even without his super senses, he just knows you aren’t feeling well.

He knows you too well.

“My back is killing me.” You confess, and he frowns. “And my head now.” Your head always hurts after crying.

“Okay,” He nods, “Hold tight,” and somehow, your fucking angel of a man picks you up off the floor and carries you to bed. He steps away only to grab you a glass of water and some Advil. You take it quietly, chugging the water before he sits on the bed next to you.

“Thank you for taking care of me.” You whisper, still upset, but so so grateful. He just smiles sadly and leans in to kiss you gently. Then, he pulls away to ask,

“How about I give you a quick back massage and then we get to bed? You must be tired. I know I am.” You sigh and nod, shifting so you’re laying on your stomach.

Matt leans down and kisses your shoulder before whispering, “I meant it you know. You made it out. You’re safe. You’re loved.”

And even without being a human lie detector like him, you can tell he’s telling the truth. It makes you cry more, but Matt stays to wipe the tears away. He’ll always stay. And he’ll always tell you as much when you need the reminder.

You’re safe.

You’re loved.

These words echo in your brain as you drift off to sleep, Matt holding you close, fingers tracing patterns into your skin as you fall into a dreamless sleep, focusing on the warmth that radiates off him.

#matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock x y/n #daredevil #daredevil fic #matt murdock #daredevil fanfiction #matt murdock fic #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock angst #daddy issues #angst #back pain #matt murdock x gn!reader #matt murdock x sad reader #daredevil angst #daredevil blurb #matt murdock blurb #matt murdock blurbs