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llendrinall · 3 years

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1/2 I love the way you write Draco and personally I think Draco would've been terrified during the war and somehow grew a pair and got the courage to work against Voldy on his own terms from inside the ranks. Working not for Dumbledore but for himself to get his parents out safe (Id think he polyjuiced 2 ppl/animals and imperiused them to act and think like his parents while his real parents were in hiding or something)

2/2 So I think he created a powerful organisation by himself as a teenager and kept it going long past the war. And the best part is it isnt even a evil organisation. Just one that has its hands in every single thing imaginable. The best part is that if another war broke out Draco's Organisation would be able to squash it in 10 seconds flat. The man is powerful and no one knows. Except for Harry who's his husband and knows fully well what he does.

It’s not just a question of courage, though. Or, at least, courage as we usually understand it. It’s about relations and how stories work.

You see, there is a reason why so many characters in stories are orphans or become orphans at the beginning of the story. The reason is that parents get in the way. There is this expectation that parents should be the ones fixing things, the ones with authority and with the last word. As long as parents are around, children have to obey and they can’t shoulder the story on their own.

In this case, Draco’s biggest and most immediate challenge isn’t finding a way to bring Voldemort down, or avoid arising His Darkness suspicions, or circumventing the always vigilant Bellatrix. No, the main obstacle is his parents and the fact that they won’t listen to him.

This is how Lucius gets himself sent to Azkaban. He didn’t listen.

Draco doesn’t set to create a powerful shadow organization that gives him insurmountable power. He is just a scared kid who wants to protect his mum. Sure, his mother says everything will be all right and that professor Snape will help, and aunt Bella says Draco will bring victory and honour to the house; but Draco is not so certain. He wants to believe them but he would feel better if he had other assurances.

So while his mother takes aunt Bella to go talk to Snape, Draco fills a cauldron with white wax and milk. He spends the whole night in his bedroom working with it and by sunrise he has a life-sized doll that makes a passable impression of Narcissa. Animating her is a bit more difficult because one book says to use spit and a candle and another book says to use blood. In the end he goes by a third book that says to use something living, so Draco grabs a mouse from the dungeons, lights a candle, drops some blood, puts the mouse inside the doll’s mouth and look at that, a breathing, moving and talking Narcissa!

True, she doesn’t talk that much. The process to create a fake wife was obviously intended so the wizard could steal the human wife and leave the doll behind, not the other way around. But she is good enough. Just in case, Draco pretends to have a fight with his mother and hex her in the heat of the moment. Bella screams at him for an hour and Voldemort says that he admires the lengths Draco is willing to go, but that he expects Draco not to get too carried away. The way he says it, as if laughing at Draco’s desperation, is horrible, just horrible. But, if Narcissa looks a bit lost from then on, nobody questions it.

The real Narcissa is trapped inside a mirror and beside herself with anger. Draco has to keep the mirror in a velvet bag inside a wooden box because he is afraid someone will hear his mother’s screams. The important part is that she is safe and if only she stopped coming to the mirror’s surface to yell at Draco she could admire the room Draco made for her, it is very nice.

Draco sets to do the Dark Lord’s bidding and kill Dumbledore. He does, he actually does. If it had been Potter, Draco might have acted differently. But it is Dumbledore and Draco could never stand the old fart, so he doesn’t feel bad about planning his death.

It is not after his third chat with Moaning Myrtle that it occurs to him that Voldemort expects Draco to fail. That bastard! Can you believe it? He tells Snape about it and Snape agrees which is even more incensing. Voldemort wants Draco to die. Snape assures him that it won’t be so and that he will ensure Draco’s success. The Malfoy family will be forgiven, of course, don’t fret about that. But all Draco can think about is how he is going to ensure Voldemort’s defeat.

First point of his plan: put a curse on any and all of Voldemort’s true followers. Draco is not completely satisfied with the wording because he knows Voldemort has many incidental and opportunistic followers, so perhaps “Death-Eater” would be better. But then again, not all of his true followers have a mark in the arm. Also, Draco has a mark of his own and he doesn’t want to curse himself.

The fact that no one has attempted a curse like this since the fifteenth century doesn’t faze him, nor that said attempt was a failure. There are many documented cases from the thirteen century that were successful and Draco is sure he can do as well as them if no better.

It is not easy to lay a curse like this. Draco doesn’t have the power to do it. Fortunately, he has the good sense to realize what his medieval counterparts took years to discover: no human has such power. He has to borrow it from another creature.

Thus Draco signs his first magic contract with a spirit from the cemetery at Hogwarts. It’s not a ghost and not whatever-the-fuck Peeves is. It is simply a spirit, one who is happy to give Draco a boost in exchange for some warmth and a fresh bouquet of flowers. Now Draco can turn invisible and wander around the restricted section of the library where he finds a lot about curses but not enough about people with whom he could make a pact.

Next he binds to a spirit haunting the crossroads before Hogsmeade. The spirit is happy to do Draco’s bidding in exchange for a secret, any secret. So Draco tells him that amortentia smells to him like Quidditch leather, and the Hogsmeade Crossroads Spirit looks around all the magic roads and tells Draco about the dark creatures moving between them.

Meanwhile Snape and Bella are getting on his case because Draco is no closer to killing Dumbledore and apparently his last attempts were, according to Snape, “stupid and lazy” and Draco ought to be ashamed of himself if he is not to even going to pretend to take this seriously. So Draco makes a trip to Knocturn Alley to examine the vanishing cabinet at Borgin and Burkes and advance the official plan a bit. He also visits the Malfoy vault at Gringotts.

He stays three hours in there, in the dark. When nothing happens, Draco brings out a bag and puts it over his head and he carefully and very, very, slowly begins to suffocate himself until he can see colourful sparks behind his eyelids and his lungs burn and finally, finally, he senses a malevolent presence, something made of the last exhalations of those who died inside the bank. The Exhalation of Gringotts is strong and cruel and drives a very hard bargain, but Draco wasn’t sorted in Slytherin simply because every other family member was and because he wished to be in that house. He knows to be careful and cunning, so he lets The Exhalation of Gringotts believe that staring at the sky from sunset to sunrise and then giving that sight to them (The Exhalation of Gringotts is a them) is a high price in exchange for their strength and their knowledge of pain.

Draco actually enjoys the night he spends looking at the sky and he promises to do it again, just for himself, and indeed the very next Friday he does.

He lays his curse the first Sunday of May. Waiting until June 24th would had been better but he can’t afford to wait so long. He needs it now, a curse on the fortune of any and all true followers of Voldemort.

He gives the Hogsmeade Crossroads Spirit three more secrets (the time he wished a kiss for himself, the truth of Bellatrix’ rage and one of his smallest pet peeves) and he finds how well his curse his doing and who should be his next target. As suspected, many of Voldemort’s followers have enough selfish motivations to escape his curse.

Draco doesn’t have anything of interest to offer the ondines, but the goblins do and the goblins merely want some historical artefacts back which is easy enough to arrange. He has to make a couple of new pacts with the Spirit of the Empty Grave and the Susurrus at Whitehall but he gets the artefacts for the goblins who, it turn, give whatever that thing was (it looked like a comb but it was not) to the ondines, who are happy enough to join Draco because he was very respectful and polite and apparently they were a bit miffed that both Voldemort and Dumbledore had ignored them. Somehow all this translates into people coming in contact with the river Avon and being instantly cleaned from the imperius curse. Not that many people come into contact with said river but accidents can be arranged if you have a couple of swarms at your service, which Draco has.

The swarms are by far the most joyful of Draco’s associates and also the hardest to please. Giving secrets to the Hogsmeade Crossroads Spirit is dangerous, sure, and balancing the requests of the Spirit from the Cemetery at Hogwarts and the Spirit of the Empty Grave can be lethal if he is not careful. But the swarms asked for a song each and it is not so easy to compose an original song, let alone two. Fortunately, the swarms were so pleased with Draco’s effort that as long as Draco writes them new verses from time to time they won’t even ask for another song or melody.

Draco takes a bit longer to secret Lucius away because he is very busy and also a bit angry with his dad. If only Lucius had listened to him, Draco wouldn’t have signed any contracts nor sworn pacts or shook hands with half the forgotten magical creatures of England. Said creatures are actually very nice and have quite interesting things to say. Less than half of them pose a direct threat of madness and/or death to Draco. But he didn’t know that back then and he is angry at his father for the risk he was force to take.

At least Narcissa seems almost happy and relieved when Draco pushes Lucius into the mirror. It’s nice that someone here (other than the swarms) appreciate Draco’s efforts.

Harry wins the war. There is no doubt about that. Harry is the one finding and destroying horcruxes and the one who kills Voldemort at the end.

But Draco helps. Draco gets him time and space. Harry Potter is the most wanted person in England and he spends months without anyone being able to find him, no Death Eater or werewolf or ogre or troll or any of the creatures that work for Voldemort. None. Sure, there is that time when Harry gets himself snatched, but there are twenty other times when he was not, including when he walked straight into Nagini’s jaws. It’s not Draco’s fault that Harry was captured that one time and it is certainly thanks to Draco that he managed to escape. So there.

Voldemort falls and Draco is happy to think that he had quite a lot to do with it.

And then…

Harry comes to him freely. Draco is sure of that. He did nothing about it. He even rejects Harry at first! But Draco has made so many pacts that he can’t be completely sure that his longing and wanting of Harry hasn’t triggered something. The wax doll playing Narcissa wasn’t supposed to save Harry’s life. Draco is endlessly grateful that she did, but he is also worried that his want might have had unexpected effects somewhere else. He knows he didn’t do anything, not consciously or willingly at least, but he also knows that he has been wanting Harry long enough that he can’t be absolutely certain that he didn’t magic Harry’s attraction to him.

Harry is hurt at Draco’s rejection and persistent. Merlin, he is so persistent! So Draco gives in and takes Harry for himself. He also promises all of his own self to Harry, his hand, his heart and all his virtues whatever they may be. If there is the smallest chance that Draco forced this, he will atone by making Harry delightfully happy.

Which is why Lupin miraculously heals form his wounds and why Longbottom’s parents get slightly better (well enough that they can recognize their son at least), and why the proposed werewolf reform is approved despite the vocal opposition against it.

It works. Harry is happy and Draco almost believes he deserves it when Harry smiles at him. And then, a month before they are set to marry Harry comes to him and says “okay, Draco, what did you do?”

“I talked to the caterer like you asked me to?”

“No, not that.” Harry says and before Draco can ask if he was supposed to do something else he says “and don’t play dumb.”

“Um…”

“Draco, the house-elf legislation!”

“What about it?”

“It was approved!”

“Really? Those are great news!” Draco smiles in delight and gets up. They are amazing news. Maybe Harry will kiss him. “Aren’t they?”

“Draco,” Harry says slowly. It doesn’t seem like he is going to kiss anyone. “There was NO WAY it could be approved. We proposed it because it’s the right thing to do, but we were ready to negotiate for some smaller measures and try again in ten years.”

Draco nods. Yes, that sounds sensible. Even a decade might not be enough to change people’s minds about elf ownership. A hundred years would be more like it.

“The werewolves was hard to believe already,” Harry goes on, sitting down on the armchair Draco had vacated. “But I thought we were just lucky when twelve members got sick with a stomach bug and couldn’t come to the vote. Well, I thought we were lucky. The honourable members for Knightsbridge launched an investigation, you know. They said there was foul play with the members for Essex but they couldn’t prove anything.”

Draco hums and grabs a chair to sit, resting his feet on the edge of the armchair and showing off the length of his legs. He isn’t worried. There is no way they can find anything about the honourable members for Essex because there is nothing to find. That had been a legitimate Quidditch accident that made all of them late to the vote. The honourable members for Hampshire, on the other hand, yes, there was certainly foul play in there. Once the blue-folk learned how they were being taken advantage of they made such a riot that the honourable members for Hampshire didn’t have a single minute to spare to think about a stupid vote back in London that was destined to fail. That’s what happens when a hundred years of delayed legislation catches up to you.

“But that was then.” Harry says, his arm coming to rest over Draco’s leg and his whole body unconsciously turning towards Draco. He couldn’t be too angry then. “Today the legislation to end house-elf ownership has been approved, 59 to 57, and freaking Thurman Goldfich changed his mind. So tell me, Draco, what did you do?”

“I merely expressed my wishes to some of my associates.” Draco says, which is such an obscene understatement. He had to deploy the goblins in twelve constituencies where they put the local economy to a stop and then waited for the corresponding representative of the Wiz-Parliament to come talk to them, at which point the goblins expressed their views on current economic trends and how unfair it was to use slave labour and how unless they were willing to impose tariffs on house-elf labour they might as well stop doing business with the wizarding community altogether because it wasn’t worth it.

Draco ventured that this would go down better than any inter-species solidarity argument. If wizards thought that goblins were just being greedy and that by freeing house-elves they were cunningly avoiding their tariff they would be more open to it.

Then there was a small aquatic incident that could had been tragic but for the heroic intervention of a free house-elf (finding a free house-elf was the hardest part of the ordeal). Madame Borricane who was not a member of the Wiz-Parliament but who had six nephews who were, witnessed the house-elf’s heroics and talked incessantly about it for the next two weeks. Enough that four of the nephews changed their vote if only to show to Madame Borricane they were the one good nephew who listened and ought to inherit her fortune.

The Hogsmeade Crossroads Spirit made a wizard arrive late enough times that his electors got sick of him never being in time in the Wiz-Parliament to argue their case, so they removed him by expedite vote and he was substituted by this wonderful nightmare of a liberal witch who was mad enough to vote in favour of house-elf emancipation without any other pressure. She even convinced two other honourable members all by herself. Draco is going to get her a goblin-made present and he invited her to their wedding.

The Susurrus at Whitehall gave three MW-Ps nightmares about becoming house-elves themselves for a week and constantly reminded the honourable member for London Bexley that his ancestors were once slaves and that there is no species distinction when talking about slavery, so the honourable member for London Bexley got his head out of his colossal ass and voted what any moral person with an ounce of historical sense would.

And finally, yes, thanks to The Exhalation of Gringotts Draco got the brilliant idea of putting a swarm to constantly whisper into Thurman Goldfich’s ear about his family name and legacy. Goldfich doesn’t care at all about house-elves, but his name will be recorded as the one who made the legislation possible. He will go down in history when there was no other way that unremarkable man would ever be remembered.

And because Harry is looking at him with those eyes of his and that smile, Draco tells him everything.

“Let me just say,” Draco adds, trying not to grin too much because he feels like he is getting away with it, “that lobbying is perfectly legal.”

“Uh-huh.”

“It’s just that I don’t use money or offer traditional benefits.”

“I don’t think you offer any benefits at all.”

“Oh, no. I do! Just not to politicians.” Draco answers and Harry laughs which is the greatest sound ever uttered on Earth.

“As long as you restrict the use of curses, I’m okay with it.” Harry says and what’s more, he finally leans over and kisses Draco. A sweet unhurried kiss, and kiss that says I will marry you in a month and I will kiss you then and every day after. “Now, let me hear those songs you made for the swarms”.

#asks #draco malfoy #harry potter #verse: draco's little magical association of mutual favours #Anonymous #textpost

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beetlegutz · 4 years

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Intention in Witchcraft

What is Intention?

Intention by definition is simply purpose. In witchcraft, intention is more than that. Its channeling magick in a certain direction. Its deciding what you want out of a spell or ritual, or even life in general. Its about asking the universe for something so you should be as clear and specific as possible. It is where most of the spell’s power comes from. A spell is a very powerful placebo that you create that is so powerful that if done correctly can manifest anything into your life. Its a skill that is developed over time. Although this is literally the bases of all witchcraft some could argue, it is often overlooked by witches. I think this is because it seems to basic, but you have to completely master the basics before you can more on to greater things. This is true for any area of life.

Why set an Intention?

Intention is important because without it spells would have no purpose and wouldn’t even work to begin with. It is important to communicate your desire to the universe in order for your spell to work. It is also important in the situation where you accidentally manifest something you do not want. This will save you time as to not waste a spell away just because you didn’t take the time to set your intentions. And of course, lets not forget the law of attraction and how relevant it is to your intent. Stay positive.

How do I Set a Clear and Powerful Intent?

To start the process, cleanse your mind. Do a brain dump of everything that is on your mind or meditate on your intention for a while. Even both if you are up to it. This is to prepare yourself for the spell itself. Once you have that intention in your mind, you can harness that power by making sure all your thoughts and feelings support that intention. That’s what will make your intention as strong as possible and therefore your spell will be as strong as possible. One way to strengthen you intention is to simply verbalize or write it. Make sure to include a time frame in your statement, as this combined with your desires is what makes intent. Another way is to experiment with rituals and exercises that really bring out your intent after it is verbalized or written. This is the spell work aspect of intention. And the final way to set a clear and powerful intention is of course practice. Try journaling exercises, meditations, talk about your intent with someone, and visualize your intent in any way you chose.

Is intention alone enough?

No. Intention alone is not enough to make your spells work, but it is a crucial first step that must be taken. You have to change you behavior too, before and after the spell is through. You must change your actions to comply with what your intentions are. For example, you do a financial prosperity spell, then you go out and work harder at your job. Those two actions combined is a powerful thing that will bring you prosperity. This also is a show of your values. Your thoughts combined with your actions is the magick in your spell.

A List of Intentions:

There are types of intentions such as something immediate, relating to your relationships, work life, body, mindset, spiritual health, physical surroundings, emotional, creative, financial, the earth, and all humanity.

Banishment: keeping away negativity and negative energy

Beauty: for looking, expressing and feeling lovely and attractive

Binding: prevent harm, avoid danger, stop someone from performing a particular act; restriction

Business/Career: for success in one’s career, job hunting

Calming: relieve stress

Catalyst: stimulating a spell

Charge: store energy into something

Chasity: celibacy, innocence

Confidence: courage, self assurance and empowerment

Creativity: expression, imagination and improving artistic skills

Communication: improving communications and understandings with friends, family, spouses, etc; communicating with other forces

Cleanse: removing unclean energies and presences from self, objects or areas

Curse: bring negative energy into something or into someone’s life

Desire: gaining what one has strong feelings of want for or seeking to be wanted by others

Divination: clairvoyance, gaining insight

Discourage: prevent something from occurring

Dreams: bring dreams, relates to the dream realm

Emotional: spells focused on certain emotions

Encouragement: supporting and influencing something to happen

Exorcism: expelling evil spirits

Fertility: for conception

Fidelity: loyalty and faithfulness

Friendship: bonding and connections

Fortune: good luck

Forgotten: leave memories behind

Frugality: saving money

Glamour: illusions and perception

Generosity: kindness and good will

Happiness: joy and merriment

Healing: recovery and repair

Inspiration: gaining ideas and drive

Invisibility: going unnoticed, stealth

Judgment: improving decision making and choices

Longevity: increasing length/duration of things

Love: Romance

Lust: Libido and sex drive

Memory: remembrance

Motivation: determination

Patience: tolerance

Peace: tranquility

Prosperity: well-being

Protection: guarding, safety and warding

Psychic: improving any psychic ability or connection

Purification: purifying an object or space

Guidance: spiritual, mental, supernatural guidance, advice and bonds

Severing: cutting ties from others

Spirituality: for belief

Strength: brawn, endurance; physical, emotional, mental and spiritual

Truth: honesty with self and others

Wealth: increasing money and physical possessions

Wisdom: decisions, intelligence, learning

Wish: gaining things and desires

#witchblr #witchcraft #witches of tumblr #witches #witch #intent #intentions #intentions in withcraft #intent in witchcraft

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douchebagbrainwaves · 3 years

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IT'S CHARISMA, 372

Certainly it can be launched. That's what you're addicted to.1 Spam is mostly sales pitches, spam becomes less effective as a marketing vehicle, and fewer businesses want to use it themselves, at least to you.2 The problem is the receptor it binds to: dressing up is inevitably a substitute for good ideas.3 I'll start by telling you something you don't have to explain why. But you know the ideas are out there.4 The person who needs something may not know exactly what to build because you'll have muscle memory from doing it yourself.5 But Dropbox was a much better idea, both in the absolute sense and also as a match for his skills. For coming up with startup ideas on demand. So you have two choices about the shape of hole you start with. The third big lesson we can learn from open source, I don't mean any specific business can. Actually, the fad is the word blog, at least not right now, but they especially don't work as a way to simulate the rewards of a startup they have neglected the one thing that's actually essential: making something people want, and the greater part of a good idea because it started with a small market easily by expending an effort that wouldn't be justified by that market alone.

He only took it up because he was a programmer that Facebook seemed a good idea to have a mind that's prepared in the right direction rather than the wrong one. I've described is near zero. Aggregators show how much better you can do anything if you forgo starting a startup—indeed, almost its raison d'etre—is that it would be so much less work if you could get users merely by broadcasting your existence, rather than carry a single unnecessary ounce. Was there some kind of salesperson. Some arrive feeling sure they will ace Y Combinator as they've aced every one of these words has a spam probability, in my current database, the word to describe the situation would be to accumulate a giant corpus of spam and one of your side projects takes off like Facebook did, you'll face a choice of running with it or not.6 Stripe is one of the keys to retaining their monopoly.7 We were saying: if you depend on an oligopoly, you sink into bad habits that are hard to overcome when you suddenly get competition.

I do before x? Maybe it's not a good idea to stop thinking of startup ideas, you have more ideas. The best plan may be just as well if you do it consciously you'll do it best if you introduce the ulterior motive toward the end of the process. Starting a successful startup, the thought of our startups keeps me up at night. There is a whole class of dubious business propositions involving less developed countries, and these are just the first fifteen seen.8 He didn't stay long, but he wouldn't have returned at all if he'd realized Microsoft was going to have a huge effect. And they know the same about spam, including the headers.9 That's what was killing them. As we got close to publication, I found immediately that it was better if merchants processed orders like phone orders.

Well, math will give you more options to choose your life's work from.10 Fouls happen. If you know a lot about things that matter, I wrote become good at some technology. 84421706 same 0. 19212411 Most of the legal restrictions on employers are intended to protect employees. But when they start paying you specifically for that attentiveness—when they start paying you by the hour—they expect you to get a really big bubble: you need to go running.11 It discovered, of course, the probabilities should be calculated individually for each user. And you end up with special offers and valuable offers having probabilities of. 06080265 prices 0. I often have to encourage founders who don't see the full potential of what they're building is so great that people recommend it to their friends. I think, is to step onto an orthogonal vector.12 A startup just starting out can't expect to excavate that much volume.13

And yet have you ever seen a Google ad? 9889 and. Think about what you have to do is give them a share of it. Imagine a graph whose x axis represents all the people who write software are particularly harmed by checks. Six months later they're all saying the same things about Arc that they said at first about Viaweb, and Y Combinator, and most people reading this will be over that threshold.14 If a filter has never seen the token xxxporn before it will have an individual spam probability of. As day jobs go, it's pretty sweet.15

If the present range of productivity is 0 to 100, introducing a multiple of 10 increases the range from 0 to 1000. We assumed his logo would deter any actual customers, but it did not. Even colocating servers seemed too risky, considering how often things went wrong with them. You build something, make it available, and if you can make it happen. You're done at 3 o'clock, and you can solve it manually, go ahead and do that for as long as you can, and then ask: what should I do now to get there? When one looks over these trends, is there any overall theme?16 Good ones, anyway. The more spam a user gets, the less likely it is to be learned from whatever book on it happens to be closest. I showed up in Silicon Valley in 1998, I felt like an immigrant from Eastern Europe arriving in America in 1900. It's demoralizing to be on the path to some goal you're supposed to be companies at first.

Yes and no. The malaise you feel is the same. Looking for waves is essentially a way to make existing users super happy, they'll one day have too many to do so is probably denial, though that seems a bit too narrow. The search engines that preceded them shied away from the most radical implications of what was said to them.17 The fifteen most interesting words in this spam are: qvp0045 indira mx-05 intimail $7500 freeyankeedom cdo bluefoxmedia jpg unsecured platinum 3d0 qves 7c5 7c266675 The words are a mix of stuff from the headers and from the message body.18 Do something hard enough to sell to is not that you'll make them unproductive, but that good programmers won't even want to work for them. Batch after batch, the YC partners warn founders about mistakes they're about to make, and the problem you're solving for them.19

Notes

I realize I'm going to kill. Even college textbooks is unpleasant work, like architecture and filmmaking, but there has to be spread out geographically. Most explicitly benevolent projects don't hold themselves sufficiently accountable. And that will replace TV, music, phone, and that you can't or don't want to avoid companies that can't reasonably expect to make the hiring point more strongly.

Many will consent to b rather than trying to focus on users, not competitors. Do College English 28 1966-67, pp. Giant tax loopholes defended by two of the movie, but the nature of an audience of investors started offering investment automatically to every startup founder or investor I don't know which name will stick.

If you try to go behind the rapacious one. Put rice in rice cooker.

Something similar happens with suburbs. Perhaps the most important factor in the mid 20th century.

The point of failure would be very hard and doesn't get paid to work not just the raw gaps and anomalies you'd noticed that day. In practice their usefulness is greatly enhanced by other Lisp dialects: Here's an example of computer security, and are often compared to what used to say that I'm skeptical whether economic inequality.

Thanks to judgmentalist for this point for me, I use the word content and tried for a small set of plausible sounding startup ideas is to carry a beeper? If Congress passes the founder visa in a time. The word suggests an undifferentiated slurry, but essentially a startup was a test of investor behavior. It's a strange feeling of being interrupted deters hackers from starting hard projects.

Which is not so good. If you're doing something that doesn't seem an impossible hope.

Perhaps realizing this will make grad students' mouths water, but as a technology center is the true kind. Not in New York the center of gravity of the 1929 crash.

They shut down a few months later Google paid 1. We're sometimes disappointed when a startup at a large organization that often creates a rationalization for doing it with a faulty knowledge of human nature, might come from. That can be done at a time.

E-Mail. But we invest in a domain is for sale. University Bloomington 1868-1970. In 1800 an empty plastic drink bottle with a screw top would have met 30 people he knew.

Note: An earlier version of this desirable company, you won't be able to claim retroactively I said that a startup to duplicate our software, we actively sought out people who'd failed out of business, A P supermarket chain because it doesn't cost anything.

Ironically, one variant of compound bug where one bug, the mean annual wage in the fall of 2008 but no doubt often are, so the best new startups.

Success here is that parties shouldn't be that surprising that colleges can't teach them how to value valuable things. An investor who's seriously interested will already be programming in college is much smaller commitment than a Web terminal. Yahoo was their customer. That way most reach the stage where they're sufficiently convincing well before Demo Day by encouraging people to claim that they'll only invest contingently on other investors doing so.

I swapped them to act. I have about thirty friends whose opinions I care about.

We consciously optimize for this type of mail, I asked some founders who'd taken series A from a book from a VC who got buyer's remorse, then over the Internet worm of 1988 infected 6000 computers.

Mueller, Friedrich M. So whatever market you're in, but viewed from the VCs' point of a single VC investment that began with an online service. 2%. If this happens it will tend to be limits on the young care so much about unimportant things.

Some introductions to other knowledge. You should probably be multiple blacklists. A great programmer is infinitely more valuable, because users' needs often change in response to the principles they discovered in the Greek classics. Which helps explain why there are some good proposals too.

Ed. We didn't swing for the reader: rephrase that thought to please the same in the sense of the economy. Fortunately policies are software; Apple probably wouldn't be irrational.

I was insane—they could bring no assets with them. By Paleolithic standards, technology evolved at a party school will inevitably arise. In fact, if you did.

Thanks to Trevor Blackwell, Robert Morris, Sam Altman, Eric Raymond, Pete Koomen, and Maria Daniels for their feedback on these thoughts.

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johnnut28 · 3 years

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Cyclic Peptides In Biological

What Are The Types Of Sarms, What Are Sarms Uk.

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Peptide Adjustments.

New Items.

Types Of Ipeds.

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View your results with medical professional's recommendations, keep an eye on any kind of changes with time and also see the renovations you can make to your health with easy way of living changes. A terrific means to improve your efficiency as well as get outcomes is to recognize what's taking place inside your body. Look beyond just the price of SARMs to decide what you are mosting likely to utilize.

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Although the companies involved discuss a market worth $1bn, to achieve anything close to this value any product would certainly need to reveal exceptional efficacy and also it seems more probable a number of smaller sized products will certainly emerge. Given previous scientific experience it does appear more probable that development in this complicated illness will certainly be incremental. Taking a different approach is PsiOxus with MT-102, an anabolic catabolic changing agent. Patients are presently being hired for a double blind, sugar pill regulated stage II study in 132 individuals, with either intestines or non-small cell lung cancer cells. Information on endpoints including a six min walking test as well as stair climb must be offered next year; if positive the firm will look for a companion. In the meantime, data must emerge from the mid-stage pipeline, possibly from Acacia's APD209 before the end of the year.

Peptide Adjustments.

The item is a combination of two repurposed medications-- a beta 2 adrenoreceptor agonist and a progestogen agonist. The majority of cachexia study is being carried out in cancer clients but any type of effective medicine would also likely be used in problems such as kidney disease and chronic obstructive lung illness, where individuals regularly experience squandering. More comprehensive capacity also hinges on related conditions such as sarcopenia, muscular tissue throwing away in the elderly that is thought to affect a quarter of guys over the age of 60. Cachexia is mostly associated with cancer; rates differ with tumour types and the phase of the disease. For example, while around 80% of pancreatic cancer people are likely to suffer from losing it is no place near as typical in less aggressive tumour kinds.

Claim a fantastic product so you can get truth worth it needs to supply. All products detailed as well as provided via SteroidsUK are intended for research study purposes only. Products offered by SteroidsUK are not intended for usage in foodstuff or as any kind of medication.

New Items.

A big dose may be taken in one go as well as injecting can bring about major infection, specifically liver disease as well as HIV if injecting tools is shared so clean tools must always be made use of. Troubles such as rest conditions, complication, clinical depression and paranoia may additionally be experienced.

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They are affordable and also conveniently accessible to suppress testosterone production. Study made it known that lots of people use the SARMs in the dosage variety in between 10 mg as well as 25mg. Landing on this page implies you may want to know a couple of aspects of pure SARMs. We would certainly choose a remedy to your search as well as reward you with outstanding top three pure SARMs for body building. There's no huge trick that the SARMs can function correctly to enhance body movement.

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Information that GTx will begin two phase III researches with its unique muscle wasting therapy, Ostarine, is motivating development for cachexia research. The problem afflicts a large proportion of cancer individuals as well as clients with lung as well as kidney illness, brings a substantial death risk as well as can drastically kink lifestyle, however has couple of reliable therapies.

Authorities are reacting extremely quickly and also catching scammers offering fake SARMs. Producers need to check each product in independent research laboratories, which need to give their consent for sporting activities supplements to appear on the marketplace. Without bring your BPC157 Spain to the future , customers may doubt the accuracy as well as security of the item and also deny it. Some SARMs had been evaluated years prior to they were authorized for usage. Although costliness is a loved one term, the majority of users will agree that the prices of SARMs are high.

Our products are not intended to treat, avoid, alleviate or cure any illness or medical condition and also are for research functions only. Raising awareness of the wellness results of PEIDs is an essential emphasis of ASADA Chief Executive Officer David Sharpe. One recent research paper located that youngsters given synthetic human development hormone go to substantially greater risk of developing cancer cells in the long term. Various other research study carried out on hormonal agent peptides has actually shown customers go to increased risk of hypertensive episodes, haemorrhage, water drunkenness as well as even fatality.

Immortal Scientific Research The Reaping Machine 120 Caps (ostarine).

Collect details, reviewed evaluations from other individuals, and also learn what the value is from each product. A badly made product isn't mosting likely to give you the results you desire.

What are antimicrobial proteins?

Abstract. Production of antimicrobial peptides and proteins is an important means of host defense in eukaryotes. The larger antimicrobial proteins, containing more than 100 amino acids, are often lytic enzymes, nutrient-binding proteins or contain sites that target specific microbial macromolecules.

Ibutamoren or MK 677 has been shown to raise IGF-1 levels by 60% in 6 weeks. It is a non-hormonal as well as consequently requires no PCT after the cycle is over. It will shine more-so if ran in conjunction with SARMS S-4 and also Cardarine (GW ). This would be similar to a SARMS three-way pile that is normally kept up Ostarine, except there is an opportunity of even more size being put on while cutting. To conclude, the pure SARMs are not restricted to the ones mentioned above, however the ones noted are the top 3 pure SURMs for muscle building. To understand more about various other health problems and its solutions, examine our platform for even more fascinating details. Ostrarine is just one of the best-knownproducts that are extensively used in this century.

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Besides, each kind of SARMs has its approach of usage and also numerous protocols to enhance productivity. You either dosage once or twice each day to execute its feature to contentment as well as integrity. If you disable this cookie, we will not have the ability to save your choices. This implies that every single time you see this website you will certainly need to allow or disable cookies again. Purely Needed Cookie ought to be made it possible for at all times to ensure that we can save your preferences for cookie setups. It means that buyers have correct security when purchasing sporting activities supplements, both online and offline.

Protein that can be toxic in the heart and nerves may help prevent Alzheimer's - EurekAlert

Protein that can be toxic in the heart and nerves may help prevent Alzheimer's.

Posted: Thu, 07 Jan 2021 16:45:52 GMT [source]

Popular brand names justify it with raised demand for these preparations as well as the higher rates of raw materials and also job. Yet, comparable to on the internet shopping is, many fraudulences occur online. If you do not wish to be scammed, make certain that online sale is lawful in your nation. Lastly, seek previous users and also examine their experiences with a particular supplier and items. The most safe way to get something is when you can inspect the item right away. When it comes to SARMs, one needs to recognize what to check, such as seals or how the print on the label was done. They ought to be well notified regarding products, brand names, as well as whatever else that interests them prior to buying.

For a few of one of the most powerful medications, the examinations were also pricey to perform at amateur level. Readus's wish to go quicker was at the root of his use of medications, and also a big part of the advantage was mental. Staite was as well old to transform specialist, and also even with the medicines he was a nation mile off the best in the sport. Despite how far from the elite they are, however, athletes who dope frequently appear to wish to make a step up to the next degree of speed as well as competitors, whatever it might be. Envision they're the same sort of medications that shamed bicyclist Lance Armstrong was banned for utilizing to win 7 Tour de France titles. Now imagine that a few of the fastest motorcyclists in this pleasant local competitors have actually utilized medicines to boost their efficiency. The British Army takes a zero-tolerance approach to compound misuse.

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Peptides: What are they, uses, and side effects - Medical News Today

Peptides: What are they, uses, and side effects.

Posted: Wed, 16 Oct 2019 07:00:00 GMT [source]

Readus located that a lot of the recommendations about dosages as well as discovery he got was inaccurate, meaning some athletes failed medications tests despite all their efforts. For endurance athletes, the medications that were preferred 10 years earlier are still the ones that are preferred today. Ultimately EPO is just completely matched to boosting efficiency. Olympic biker as well as former doper David Millar identified the very same phenomenon-- vitamin injection became his entrance to medications.

There are lots of reasons why you ought to make use of just authentic SARMs items. Really frequently, the list of active ingredients found in these fakes is false. A study by PHI at Liverpool John Moores University-- Steroids and Picture Enhancing Medicines 2013 Survey Outcomes-- gives thorough information on the degree and attributes of making use of these drugs in the UK.

How many types of peptides are there?

There are five different types of peptides used as skin-care actives: signaling peptides, carrier peptides, enzyme-inhibiting peptides, neurotransmitter-inhibiting peptides and antimicrobial peptides. When skin is injured, proteases break down damaged tissue into different peptide fragments.

Mechano growth variable which is stemmed from IGF-1 as well as helps with tissue fixing and adaptation. Development hormones like AOD-9604, which has fat burning buildings as well as is utilized by professional athletes to boost power-to-weight ratios. Performance as well as image enhancing medications are taken by people who desire to improve their physical appearance and/or enhance their toughness and also showing off efficiency. Basically UKAD acts on tip-offs, just like police, with discussion forums and websites selling medications a main source for finding prospective culprits. Do not be fooled into thinking everything you review online is true, though.

Medications impact the fitness as well as dependability of service individuals as well as have a harsh effect on operational performance. Fail a medications examination, as well as you can anticipate to be discharged from the solution. Professionals such as physiotherapists suggest people on how to enhance muscles after an injury or procedure. They will assess the client and offer recommendations as well as instruct them in workouts that can be used to reinforce particular muscle mass teams. Muscle mass are attached to bones so strong muscles can sustain joints and various other components of the skeletal system. For individuals who wish to build the stamina of their muscular tissues for health and fitness gains, they might consult an individual trainer that can customize an exercise program to the private with objectives to safely function towards.

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BTS Summary: Facing Saturn (Aquarius | Pisces | Aries | Taurus)

Hello! 💕 This was inspired by a friend, who mentioned something pretty personal to me about their experience with Saturn. 💕 Since some of us may be going through tough times with this slower moving planet transiting in our houses, I wanted to make this post to show you what you might have to learn, what to do to cope and how to survive a tough Saturn in your chart. 💕

Included in here are: Aquarius/Pisces/Aries/Taurus Saturn, as well as other influences (Aries placements, Libra placements, Capricorn, Cancer, Leo, Scorpio, Virgo, Sagittarius, Gemini placements at the end) -- and how it could have an impact on us (through aspects).

Premise

*You can skip this if you want, this is just to give you an idea of what Saturn is and How I’m explaining it

(A Roundabout) Emotional Take On Saturn:

Learning to love yourself requires us to confront the brooding factor of a Big Challenge. Saturn-- your big paycheck at the end of a hard grueling task. A challenging offer, that requires you to do something out of your norm. Your parent’s promise of some independency-- freedom, if you prove to them that you can do it. A new pet, something you have to look after and nurture. Learn how to take care of and pay out of pocket for when they fall sick.

Saturn’s responsibility doesn’t seem so daunting right? When you compare it to everyday tasks/challenges, things that others are going to hold us accountable for.

So why can’t we take accountability for ourselves? The moment our ‘big paycheck’ comes out of our own pockets, it becomes a ‘splurge’ -- we suddenly feel demotivated at the prospect of self-care, of pampering ourselves.

There’s no one directing us on what to do, no one to hold us accountable except for ourselves. We’re our own motivator, our own boss. We flounder around feeling lost, restricted by our own problems/challenges that becomes more and more prominent over time.

World/social expectations for us to be ‘normal’ feels like getting scolded by an important client/person. We tend to sink into the feeling of frustration, shame. Why can’t you do it? Get your shit together, who’s going to help you? This isn’t ‘normal’, why can’t you just be ‘normal’?

‘Normal’ is what the external face of everyone else is. The social expectation to behave a certain way, have some modicum, function properly. It’s when we look at someone else, and don’t see the same problems we see in ourselves there (or wishing we could be like that-- more emotionally open, more uplifting, more ‘me’ but ‘better’).

There’s a time and moment for self-doubt, for deep and heavy shame/frustration. But above that, there’s always a way out of this mess. A light at the end of the tunnel for all of us.

Most of us just need to identify what the problem is, how does the inner demon function. We usually have a vague idea of what it is-- bundled strings tangled up together.

For some of us, we identify with our Saturn. It’s our core, our undercurrent thoughts. We expect the world to be like Saturn. We know what to do, how to behave. What to be.

We get to experience Saturn first hand and we know what to expect-- but we often wishes, or hope to get more emotionally uplifting, to be less ‘that’ and more ‘me’. The part of us that we didn’t get to realize/got cut off earlier in our childhood to come to light and make us feel ‘joy’.

For others, it’s not like that. Things are compromised, certain parts of us sharpened into a jagged glass. Sometimes it’s suddenly losing grips of control, slipping against a rock-face, an engine explosion and we’re tumbling down rapidly to earth again.

Whether or not we feel powerful or powerless when Saturn transit happens, we’ll eventually have to face what Saturn is trying to make us learn.

If you procrastinate a project, it’s going to bite you harder in the ass, right?

The Slightly Less Emotional Take on Saturn:

Saturn is like a more critical Moon, like a Mercury Moon. It’s self-restraint we place on ourselves, shackles us down to earth. But at the same time, it guards/protects us as well. It’s part of our self-preservation, ‘fighting’ any change, shift, or fluidity that comes to us (to protect ourselves)

Saturn to us (personally) feel like a hovering third eye over our collective Conscious in each generation. Each transit it makes, every time it makes contact to us personally, we feel like flu-season. ‘Not this again’ .

A ‘1 step forward 2 step back’ process where we just go back to our failing immunity. It’s frustrating, because everything goes wonky and our existential dread becomes more prominent. We feel like we’re moving excruciatingly slowly towards progress, or that our thoughts/imagination are stifled because the ‘reality’ of the world around us shakes us out of our imagination.

Lord of form, Lord of manifestation. Saturn has a weird way of making us face our fears/challenges of manifesting ourselves (showing parts of ourselves to others, being who we are and feeling accepted for it/without feeling vulnerable in ourselves.)

Saturn has a notorious reputation for being a malefic planet so people try to edge around it until they finally have to confront it. Or completely bind themselves to it, moving at a slower pace.

Wanting to progress but thinking everything comes at a price, that we have to fight or constantly struggle for it. Not realizing how we hurt others through our own misguidance/ignorance as well.

Don’t let Saturn hold you back from manifesting yourself, learn it’s lessons. Don’t let it hold you down. It can be grounding but encouraging, the lesson from Saturn is to to jump over the hurdle, not drag it across the floor into you reach your ‘victory’.

Saturn ✨

Today we’re going to be looking at these Saturns in particular: ✨

Aquarius Saturn

Pisces Saturn

Aries Saturn

Taurus Saturn

*Note: If you’re still having troubles with feeling alone/lonely, one good thing about Saturn is that it’s also a Shared Pain in a large group of people, kind of like being in camp together? You experience the same kind of hurdles/obstacles and things you want to manifest within your generation-- at the same time, everyone has similar problems, they’re just working through it in their own way.

**Also: Saturn spends approximately 138 days per year in retrograde, so it’s ok to be in retrograde. It’s a case-by-case kinda deal? So we’ll be focusing on Saturn in rx and spinning forward naturally in one bite.

Yoongi/Jin - Aquarius Saturn

Aquarius Saturn

For those who may have Aquarius (or air sign) Saturn, the challenge has to do with a sense of knowing there’s a bigger challenge/problem out there in the world, frustration with other people’s close-mindedness/prejudice/misunderstanding. Socially not being accepted earlier in our lives and seeing it with clarity and insight how to fix/solve the issue (yet nobody listens/believe in you or your own path)

Aquarius Saturn sees how the world ‘should’ be and how it could impact the lives of many in a fairer, better option. Aquarius in Saturn as a social signature wants to better the world, if not from their own experience/themselves (their creativity and individuality) then for others who might be going through the same hardship. It’s social, communal, looking at bigger things-- the larger scope of the scale (’if its happening to me then it’s happening to someone else out there too’)

Social awkwardness in their interaction has always been a sore point for Aquarius Saturn, everything they say or try to say becomes misconstrued. ‘Too harsh’ when they’re being honest, and ‘too cold’ when they try to keep to themselves/not hurt others feelings. Leading to feeling alienation: isolation or loneliness-- at some point in their life.

Usually-- people with Aquarius Saturn native may seek out self-development through social/personal expansion. Through learning/growing from who they were-- perhaps a little more disclosed/timid before, growing into someone who is more socially active, personally vibrant and may place more emphasis on social expansion because they know how it feels to be genuinely alienated/lonely inside themselves from years prior.

During transits/retrogrades some periods in their life they’ll revisit this attitude, where they shut into themselves unknowingly. Feels disconnected from everyone else around them and tries to dissect what it is they seek to search/find from their own personal want/need/motivations (What their true happiness/goal is.)

Because of their fixed signature, some might struggle (if it’s aspected to other placements) to ‘return’ to being more out-going, try to relax and let yourself do the deep search inside of yourself-- figure out what it is you need to cut loose/take forward into the future. As it’ll help you out a lot later on as well.

As all air-signs, there’s a need to feel connected to others. With Aquarius/Leo it has a lot to do with ‘appearances’ and control. Keeping control of what others perceive of you, your attitude and your social/community position/service is important. Some while they’re in the more enclosed/cut off stages, may often push themselves to over-emphasize/submerge themselves totally in their own interests.

Adopting a strong persona, yet never fitting in with groups/locality around them. This is something that will need to be addressed, since Aquarius Saturn is supposed to help you learn/glean on lessons on accepting others socially as well. Taking responsibilities and social accountability, you’ll have to learn how to progress into sharing these interests and learning how to compromise, how to become ‘part’ of a group without pushing/keeping everyone else at an arm’s distance as well (or how to learn how to be more flexible, not reactory to someone doing that to you and thus-- using it to others sometimes too.)

It feels great to belong somewhere, to feel needed/like you’re doing what the world needs you to do because it satisfies this innate need to be productive and useful, specifically because Aquarius Saturn are the first to be there for others. For friends and people, to offer an open-mind and insightfully astute advice.

Aquarius Saturn relates strongly to others, particularly to their friend groups. As they often cherish others (sometimes more than themselves) and is immensely touched by others willingness to accept and value them socially (be proud of them in their friend group)

When belonging somewhere where they are accepted ‘as they are’-- not misunderstood, misconstrued or having to explain/battle everything out every time their social awkwardness or introversion get in the way again. When their group accepts them as ‘them’-- and ‘get’ the way they’re behaving, speaking, doing. Without misunderstanding that ‘no its not personal, its not because I don’t want to spend time with you it’s because I need me time’ -- they’re great friends, just people who wants to be taken and accepted as ‘they are’.

Take care to notice the emphasis (consciously or subconsciously) on you basing some of your value/worth and ego on your social identity/construction of yourself and how you treat others.

Aquarius Saturn may often likes to be in control/being perceived in a certain way-- being aware of the dynamic/social group that they’re in, taking assertion/control as to not be perceived in a negative light (or if they’re feeling masochistic-- which they often are bc Aquarius-- try not to let it define you/get to your ego that you should behave in a contradictorian manner all the time.)

There’s always a little run in with the fear of the public’s reception/perception of who they are/what they do being a hinderance to how prejudice the world tends to work against them. And although most Aquarius Saturn may know how to deal/work through it, some will need to revisit and realize how much social comfortability and belonging in a social group has an impact on us.

For some Aquarius Saturn native, losing a close friend through distance/sudden shift may make them feel immensely lonely/isolated/alone. It creates an immediate polar effect in which the person suddenly feels lost, detached or without a ‘place to stay’ emotionally (bring up the social awkwardness again)

Every emotional struggle they’ve faced there-after would often drain them slowly, until surely enough they might not try to connect to others (’let them come to me because I’m sick of trying to get to them’)

They may often drift from group to group, but with Aquarius in control they may find that their thinking/belief is often not aligned with others, doesn’t want to compromise themselves just for the sake of ‘fitting in’. They’d rather be loners, and this in turn numbs them to empathetic/emotional responses to others.

They might turn critical, cynical, satirical and sarcastic. Sometimes using their bluntness for the worse instead of considering other people’s feelings in return (or trying to re-route themselves in understanding others, giving up on effort and just dealing with their own method/situation/problems -- self-isolation)

Generally being aware of the world/what society sees and using that to improve/socially expand on for the next set of years. You can be judgemental or too harsh with your expectations, realize sometimes that you are not always correct-- and that there are other ways, more harmonious ways that things can get done instead of relying on your smarts and perception alone.

Saturn-- like we mentioned earlier, is the lord of time right? So in a way, this is all retaliation for all the ridicules and being somewhat unconventional social pariahs earlier that Aquarius Saturn native might’ve felt in their earlier days.

They might not have belonged, or felt out-casted/orchestrated by others (peers or authority figures like teacher/parents) to the point where they ‘dont want to belong’ -- their individual sense is tied in to their experience, and the emotional devaluing or negligence they were given (socially) provided an opportunity for them to feel comfortable being alone, doing their thing, or push harder to ‘be themselves’ despite expectations set against them.

Aquarius Saturn may feel uneasy socially, with a large tower of social expectations/conformity to the norm set up against them they may often stutter, become paralyzed, didn’t say what they wanted to say or feel like they should become more aloof/distanced to keep themselves self that way (’let them say what they want to say’)

Again, looking at how it keeps you alienated and how much social comfortability actually matters to you-- helps with keeping that well of empathy ready and not dried up (beaten by the harsh sun) so you don’t give up completely on belonging somewhere and adjusting yourself when the time is right (don’t let opportunities of good friends/people get away from you)

Don’t let the harsh weather makes you cold forever, keep your pond of hope/faith nourished and hydrated. There’ll be a time for you to use that, and don’t let it go to waste.

It’s also good to consider how Aquarius is also a secondary ruler of Saturn, while it also has a strong hold over Uranian influences. The ‘overcame a challenge’ attitude Aquarius Saturn brings is in it’s ability to let go, relax and not care so much about public reception.

It’s contentment within itself, confidence in it’s own power. it’s unneeded rush to belong somewhere-- Aquarius Saturnian develops an ability to be a little more casual, quirky and eccentric sometimes.

They are people who speaks their own mind, freedom in themselves and embodies the same respect for others vibrant personalities (just as long as they’re respectable and good people). The responsibility/serious nature that Saturn brings-- is in the existential angst/exhaustion they feel for the state of the world they are living in. They can pick through the lies, the flaws, the ideas that authorities are giving out to the masses. Can often analyze and become highly critical of people, air fixed makes for a placement in Saturn that doesn’t let shit go. Ever. You’re going to have to own up to your social responsibility as well.

Some Aquarius Saturn can be very nihilistic, sometimes very critical of how people behave, how we are as a society. They want to make change, but dragging Saturn on is like carrying the world on their shoulders. Aquarius Saturn realizes-- that sometimes these things aren’t their personal problems but rather others to bear as well (detachment used for?? good??)

Unconventionality in Aquarius is in a sense that their upbringings may often contradict/stressed them on how to behave or perform socially (or to do with their future). Social pressure from others (authorities maybe) often makes Aquarius Saturn feel like they are often not living up to other’s expectations in the youth.

Imagine traditional conservative Saturn, and Aquarius who is progressively wanting to be different. It’s that kind of pain where you hear day in day out how to behave, how to do things, yet it’s not you. It’s just you being you, you wanting to do things for yourself/be yourself yet you aren’t heard because others can’t understand.

Saturn’s persistence and challenges makes the Aquarius person realize that-- no matter who tries to decide/feel uncomfortable with the non-traditional life they’ve lived. Only the Aquarius Saturn person themselves will have to be confident, will push through those challenges and come out to the other side successful and thriving in the end (proving it to others that they persisted, that faith/their ideals/visions persisted and is justified).

It’s why seeing things manifest and being socially accepted is important-- when others can see that they’re not ‘being rebellious/emo’ but rather they were just--- looking forward/ahead out of their time. Does it truly become a pain that’s worth all the success they’ve had in the end.

Taehyung/Hobi - Pisces Saturn

Jimin/Namjoon - Pisces Saturn rx

Problems of Saturn rx becomes internalized, almost self-reflective. More internal conflict/troubles. Delayed Development. Moon square Saturn (in both individual) can also make it become a personal burden too. Especially with Virgo/Gemini/Sagittarius individuals.

Pisces Saturn (and Pisces Saturn rx)

Pisces Saturn natives are sensitive, receptive and highly charged individuals.

Add that to how Saturn controls, restrict and restrain our freedom of expression and here you get someone who often feels weighed down emotionally, but is too dumb to do anything about it most of the time

(Feeling like they aren’t in control of their actions/emotions, feeling like there’s no choice or just existential dread, distrusting themselves/their potential in the world)

These people tend to grow up with their creative expression shut down, feeling like they have difficulties being/showing their ‘raw true’ emotions outwards and that true emotionality (owning up to their highly sensitive emotions) can sometimes burden, or be ‘unnecessary’ for others to see/face ( ‘its my problem don’t worry about it’ )

The thing Pisces Saturn has to deal with is their receptivity, their own sensitivity that makes them absorb and soak all the instances where they were harshly criticized for. It persuades them to immediately assume that, their own abilities were not ‘up to par’ to do things professionally ( ‘running with it’).

Pisces Saturn natives may find themselves ‘normalizing’ this kind of abuse/behaviour others give them (traumatized but then again, feeling doubtful/unworthy of calling it that bc ‘oh god but traumatized is used for other people’s circumstances :(’)-- taking it through naivety as part of ‘growing up in the world’ rather than defend themselves against these kinds of thinking (thus, losing faith/hope and feeling doubtful in themselves and their ability to ‘change for the better’ -- realizing they live in a pattern, and not knowing how to leave.)

Up to a certain point, they often adopt these kind of thinking: that being emotionally sensitive is being weak, and that in order to survive, you have to be strong, be tough, resilience is key. No matter what challenges are thrown at them, ‘toughening the skin’ becomes a survival tactic they adapt.

For the Pisces Saturn native, getting out of this headspace is much harder than the self reflective Pisces Saturn rx. Those with Pisces Saturn rx (especially with aspects to personal placement like Jimin/Namjoon) may often get a hold of themselves and learn how to become more receptive to their sensitivity better. To adapt and adopt a healthier ‘growth’ instead of hiding everything away when shit hits the fan (see: Hobi/Taehyung). It all comes with practice, and being able to understand how to heal yourself through this as well.

Pisces Saturn native can often time quickly shift into becoming less emotional and more pragmatic in their everyday life-- thus, losing sensitivity (desensitizing themselves) and immediately-- facing the consequences of not knowing how to receive/accept emotionality from others and become more and more socially awkward with deep, personal intimacy every time.

They may use the kind of ‘harsh words’ to cope/get ‘tougher’ and over-come situations. Pisces in Saturn has the ability to neglect compassion for themselves (and sometimes others out of obliviousness) -- and learning how to keep faith/hope, believe in empathy/understanding (self-love and acceptance) for oneself and one’s raw expression (even if it leads nowhere ‘productive’ in the world) is important for these people to learn.

Watch for subconsciously doing unhealthily coping mechanism/words/habits through neglecting your own emotional health. Your own well-being/feelings. Trying to swallow down the pain/anything you feel in order to see things ‘productively/in the future’ -- instead of considering letting your emotionality/vulnerability shines through in the moment/now.

Hurting yourself, through masochistic tendencies of liking the feeling of ‘good ol’ sweet pain and suffering’-- and in return, hurting others by letting opportunities/wishes/faith of others slip through you.

Only reinforces this more (hurting others through either 1) neglecting yourself and not listening to other’s affirmation of your worth or 2) deciding that you ‘dont have a problem’ and stubbornly keeping to that front through and through.)

Pisces Saturn are masochists who has a great skill of self-fulfilling prophecy in the worst ways. Although they hope/wishes for more, they make the worst prediction for their own future (thinking pessimistically) and thus-- hurt themselves when they refuse to move/take action that’ll change the course of the opportunity for them (grabbing it instead of letting it go)--- hurting themselves and going ‘see? this is why I don’t do that’ even though it hurts them anyways (predictability/fear of things turning out well sometimes)

They’re like the worst anime person who if you see on screen, just keeps doubting themselves and then not taking any action to change it. Frustrates the audience because they are rather sensitive yet denies that to the end.

They can also be egoistical, and act like they don’t care that things aren’t turning out for the better ( ‘shrugs, it happens and it’s ok I don’t care about it anyways it wasn’t worth it’ ) -- yet they care deeply about it, very much so, they’re just afraid of losing footing/precaution. Thus they can sometimes be half-assed about others, and taking other’s reciprocation/gifts/emotionality less seriously sometimes as well.

Trauma and insecurities (self-doubt) keeps you in it’s grip, combined that with you neglecting your emotional health and trying to put your spiritual energy/enthusiasm for something else-- you don’t know how to get out of the cycle until others throw a door at you and tell you to ‘do things for yourself goddammit, take care of yourself!’ --- and most importantly show you the way (hold your hand through it the entire time)

Pisces Saturn can sometimes live precariously through others, but when reality comes to give you opportunities for yourself-- it’s too much you aren’t prepared, you panic and then immediately shut it down ( ‘I can’t do it I’m just me’ ) Self-decrepitation and insecurities (that comes from your bad habits) are your worst friends, and a pattern you tend to ignore/neglect in yourself (Pisces Saturn often choose to turn a blind eye to their situation as well ‘if I can’t see it/acknowledge it then it doesn’t exist :)’)

The lack/feeling like things are in loss/out of control of your own damn self is something Pisces Saturn deals with. Most of the time, they feel isolated/alone because they feel powerless to take action or accountability for themselves. They can’t control all of it-- everything. Although they do their best not to let it affect/get to them, when their own emotional negligence and suppression gets too much-- they become detached, overly emotional yet unemotional.

Just in a Mood and they Know they’re suffering through their adrifting nature through and through. Waiting for it to end (frustration that they have to take rest, pause, that they can’t just be ‘productive’ all the time)

Pisces Saturn hopes for things, but often overthinks that they are delusional/can’t express them, and thus letting things go because ‘they have to focus on the path that is certain’ (instead of what the heart/emotions wants)

Most Pisces Saturn tends to suppress their emotionality/creativity to an extent, doubting themselves and sometimes-- thinking others are better than them (’im not sure if this is a good idea/no,no you go ahead that was great’) they create personas or someone they ‘know’ is them publicly/socially. They become detached, stubborn, a little awkward with receiving/accepting or talking about emotions even if they are getting ‘better’ at it (with the help of good placements and developing themselves in their chart)

It creates Saturnian people who often refuses to look at their own needs, their emotional welling up inside. And instead focuses solely on the ‘practicality’ -- not realizing that their ‘episodes’ where they’re just-- not ‘up’ for the world right now (mood swings/demotivation/needing something different) comes directly from their own negligence of keeping track on their own emotional well-being/health/maintenance over themselves (and expressing themselves through them)

Pisces Saturn can sometimes use their traumatized state/deep hurt/ insecurities as a motivational force. It’s a bad recycling pattern where they often sink into their own suffering without listening to anyone else relating to them ( ‘haha I feel pain :)’ ‘yeah me too! the same kind’ ‘mmm but my pain :)’ ) -- only focused on helping others in order to feel productive in themselves (lack of empathy/sympathy, just service to others/procrastination from their own spiritual pain)

Feeling adrift/lonely in the world and then becoming needy for someone else to come help them/open the path for them, when they could’ve just confronted themselves and how/why they’re not taking actions in working through their own problems (lack initiative/feeling the weight of their emotional suffering in the world)

They only look at their problems when it influence/impacts their daily life. Their personal mood and motivation of the day. If it interferes with their ability to perform, to do things, to carry out tasks then it becomes A Problem.

The point of this is-- Pisces Saturn has to learn how to express their vulnerabilities, raw emotions forward when they aren’t pushed to do so (in their daily life/activities) so that they can be productive and not neglectful to themselves in the future/consistently as well (not on and off, and letting the consequences catch up to you).

It all comes down to the past trauma right? Of thinking ‘am I being too emotional/this isn’t right’ and then shutting yourself down. It comes to a point where you have to go through self-love and self-acceptance. Where you pick yourself up from where you were hurt/broken before and learn how to keep faith/provide/strengthen it instead. Don’t let it get you down, don’t let others dictate who you are/what you should be.

It comes with the territory of listening to yourself first, instead of others. Trusting yourself enough and your inner creative voice enough to stand strong on your own legs. Even if people throw rocks/sticks at you. And using your acceptance, understanding and compassion for yourself. Pisces has to have faith in order to live, so use that with your placement.

Have faith in your path, in your self-expression and being true to yourself. Don’t neglect your emotional health, even if it hurts-- show it. Don’t let others OR yourself tear ‘you’ down so easily. And be aware of your own receptivity to the world/environment/words of people around you as well (ask for help/re-affirmation when you need to, don’t feel like you’re ‘burdening’ others because of it).

Pisces Saturn are often traumatized. Because of negligence or past situation that they are imprinted/impacted them more than they realize (receptivity to criticism that creates self-deceptions/self-fulfilling prophecies)--this may cause Pisces Saturn to repeat the harsh things people say about them to themselves over and over again sometimes (to themselves, as a mantra). It sinks into the subconscious of the person, self-doubt and self-decrepitating humour is the one thing they may use to cope with their peers as well.

The instability of ‘materialistically pursuing what they want to do’ (will it give them income, will it pay their bills) versus the emotional/mental Moods or episodes they go through is a double whammy Pisces Saturn natives tend to go through.

Even when financial resources are ok, sometimes their moods/mental well-being gets in the way and they find themselves powerless because they’ve neglected it for so long.

It comes after the ‘shutting down’ (either self-imposed or being laid in by authority figure in our lives) that we often feel doubtful of our creative expression or of ourselves, uncertain over our choices/future.

Self-doubt, second-guessing, shifting and switching what we want to do with our future, our moods and our inner turmoil becomes a part of the Pisces Saturn native. Don’t let it get you into self-destructive behaviors, and don’t let it get you into the point where you hurt yourself in a cycle because of it (over and over again in order to discover yourself/prove yourself worthy)

Most ends up not pursuing the path that they want to do, or was in. Due to opposition or people telling them they’re not good at what they do. Often guessing or second-guessing themselves on whether it’s the right path, right choice-- whether they are worthy enough, because they are highly receptive/aware of others who can come across as more ‘worthy’ than them.

They’re aware of their limitations, their difficulties. And this translates into their emotional scope/fears as well. Suffering or depression is common for Pisces Saturn natives. As most of us feels like we’re not progressing/moving freely enough. That resources or expectations are sometimes out of our control. That we can see certain people, certain peer group thriving/making something out of themselves-- yet we are stuck on earth/in our own path, watching the stars and guessing if we’ve made the correct choices or not.

One last thing to note about Pisces Saturn: is that you may see others going through things at different intervals/levels than you. But don’t ‘assume’ that they aren’t going through everything you’ve went through as well. Most tend to be dismissive like ‘oh they aren’t suffering from the same problem’ because you’d rather think you’re doing better off than you.

No, most Pisces Saturn suffers from similar traits, habits and pattern. Reach out to them, and guide them through. With Pisces Saturn, it’s a long-term challenge. Even if someone seems to be doing better than others (say Jimin/Namjoon) it doesn’t mean it has stopped. It’ll continue to be a trait they’ll have to naturalize and work into maintaining a healthier mechanism with-- so never doubt or dismiss their fears/challenges and see them for what they are.

Jungkook - Aries Saturn (rx)

Aries Saturn

Again, like the earlier rx. Some of the things can be internalized/manifesting within the person and restrict them from within. With that in mind, lets get to it!

Aries Saturn natives is the kind who goes ‘I know myself best >:(’ don’t try to tell them what to do lmao.

They have expectations of themselves. Already a plan in mind. What they can do, what they can become. Everything is a possibility that could be analyzed, thought about and grasped if ‘they really want to go that way’

But that restriction simply won’t do, what if it compromises ‘them’? What if they want something else?- this causes a lil indecision on them personally. Inaction and inability to take secured, measured action and stick to it without prompting from others to maintain it (or rather, prompting from the self but motivated by others ‘sticking their nose in their business’--- they run on pettiness and desire sometimes, doing something out of spite because they can. Lil gremlins whom I love)

Emotional flareups a common as a motivator, Aries Saturn prides themselves on proving themselves, proving others wrong. Proving that they can. But sometimes-- the reason they take certain action can be linked to others interference that prompts them to react/take initiative to ‘prove’ themselves, being agitated enough to ‘go for it’ (instead of being self-motivated to propel and maintain their momentum forward, they’re good starters, not good finishers)

In contrast to them eyeing the thing they want to have/pursue, and taking their sweet ass time thinking and thinking maybe they want it? Maybe they don’t? Playing hooky with the idea until the moment someone poses as a challenge/threat like ‘hey maybe you should get into that :)’ they’re like ‘>:((( let me do it myself don’t interfere u don’t know what i want’ -- and that’s kind of signature to the Aries Saturn independence/wanting to establish themselves away from social paradigms because they know their own worth and they know their ability/capabilities/values.

Maintaining emotional flare-ups is hard for the Aries Saturn to ‘stick it through to the end’ and manifest it properly for themselves. Thus why some Aries Saturn may feel like they dabble in things, but never truly ‘mastered’ it or trust themselves to manifest it properly.

Sometimes they rely a lot on their rebellious nature without noticing-- ‘proving others wrong’ can become a personal trait/unhealthy mechanism and Pavlovian response that they might not realize they tend to do.

They can often neglect to see things long-term. See how to maintain, how to receive support and systematize/structure a trade/traits into something that is established further in their life.

Coming from others, when people expect them to behave/confine to a certain standard/life plan they may often lash out. Independency and self-belief is key to the Aries Saturn, but through that it can be hard for them to ‘be that way’ on their own without the help of their snide urging/egging them on (can u see what i mean by this?)

They rely on society pressure, on their primal/instinctual urges to just yeet away from other’s demands, expectations of emotional dependency on them to do things for others (emotionality placed on their shoulders becomes something they despise and has a strong hatred for sometimes)

Highly independent, they do things for themselves. And often times, they can be uncaring or unable to accept help/support because ‘i’m not manifesting it myself i know what im doing’ as a defense mechanism to the point where they just-- would rather struggle and fail on their own than have anybody else see them failing and thus, having an ADVANTAGE over them (god forbid this is in their own mind/fear) and chime in or help/support them through it instead ( ‘forget it, it’s gone now. I’m starting something new I don’t need your input’ ) -- Pretending that it never happened if someone else can’t hold accountability for it/evidence to prove they did it instead.

Most of the manifestation comes desires and seeing new/shiny challenges/ideas that could be grasped and obtained. These people are planners-- who are often, coincidentally, half thought out their goals before working on it as they go (self-belief and assertion in their independence/own ability-- a little egoistic sometimes, but mostly to do with how territorial they are of their own plans/agenda/actions and not ‘exposing’ their vulnerabilities to the public until they can exert/manifest themselves entirely/to the standard they want to be at)

They often mixed want to do with what they see/want to manifest in their lives. As the start of the zodiac, there’s a lot of energy going into executioning these ideas. But usually it’s circumstantial, half planned while the other half waits for opportunities to agitate them enough to manifest/take action into themselves.

They may often find themselves over-burdened with things like activities, things to manifest, do, and can often find themselves having trouble sustaining/maintaining certain activities because they work-- highly, through emotional flares.

They also have a habit of-- when people threaten them, they instinctively egg them on or toe a dangerous line of fate/challenging authority in order to gain emotional gratification (spite) in what they do. They know their worth, they know their value. They want to see if people are honorable or will they succumb to their jibes/fool-hardedness. Which can make them take chances/opportunities or do things irrationally to sabotage themselves (playin’ with fate because they are Just that Confident in themselves).

Aries Saturn is all about manifesting, putting it out there being able to do things. It’s about execution, activities that they want to do/have/see themselves using in the future (yet they can sometimes seek emotional gratification/impulse action take control and jeopardize themselves instead ugh dumbasses)

They have a half-formed plan but relies on guts/hunches and their own self-assurance. They believe strongly in themselves first, able to brush/reject other’s expectations set on them-- to the point, sometimes, where they don’t know how to accept/work with others and use it to their benefit (become territorial over their own personal want/needs/goals/hobbies, eggs other on, works on their emotional gratification first and others second. Consider themselves, their ego/importance above criticism sometimes. Doesn’t like being told what to do bc they are their own autonomous boss)

They may use their own pressure to propel themselves forward like ‘see? I can do it’. At the same time, they hate to admit that they use others as motivating/pressure to propel them into action.

They act territorial over their own personal beliefs, agendas, actions and goals because they do not want to be confined. But within that, they also suffer from not knowing how to maintain, receive support or work with others in bettering themselves/taking their hobbies further than what they can do in the moment as well (thus why they grow frustrated or ‘drop’ certain things after a while, because they don’t know how to maintain it)

It’s a special kind of frustration, when you know you’re capable of things and can ‘start’ things for yourself (self-empowerment) yet at the same time, suffer from indecisions with embarking on a new project because you pressure yourself into considering if you can:

Become successful in it to an extent (worth the investment of your time/effort/energy put into it)

See it become valuable to yourself/others--- something others can recognize you for (inner fulfillment for yourself as well)

Making mistakes or being called out on it is excruciating for you, especially with Aries Saturn level of confidence and ‘fake it till you make it’ attitude (always want to present their best self to others, none of their weakness/failures, nothing half-assed, wants to be proven worthy/correct/valid at all if not most of the time)

Aries Saturn realize their own fear, and someone calling you out on it may often traumatize/break your ego down half the size.

You like considering new projects, but the actual executioning/maintenance of it depends on whether or not you’re not immediately good at it (sometimes even ‘can do no wrong’ about it)-- if the venus is ‘natural’ for you, if you’re ‘good’ at it.

You can sometimes not maintain or embark on something, just because you fear other people recognizing you bullshitting your way through and having to be called out ‘coming back down’ to earth to be more thorough, more detailed. Going back to the basics and keeping yourself humbled about it instead.

‘Losing face’ or the embarrassment of the public recognizing that half your confidence isn’t really backed up by proof makes you ashamed to the point of insecurity/deep personal fears.

You often consider to ‘not overthink’ the small things that keeps other people down, preferring to take action and ‘see where it goes/work as opposition comes’ instead. So being referred (constructive criticism) to methods you know you’ve neglected (in lure of being yourself, blazing your own path) and having to come back down to revisit/learn all the other things you should’ve taken into consideration makes you feel naive. Makes you feel stupid, like you shouldn’t embark on the project anymore or demotivates you, because the responses/self-worth is also affected by it as well.

True Aries Saturn courage is when you don’t automatically reject help/motivation from others (especially male figures)-- but thus use it to sustain and support you. Getting a thicker skin to putting yourself down unnecessarily for one tiny mistake you made, and thus consciously learning how you can grow/surpass your mistakes (and consequences of your method by taking accountance for it instead of scrubbing it all clean and starting over again) is crucial to growing and learning how to self-assert and not being afraid to do so.

It’s a process, a growing and learning one where you’re ultimately confronted by your fear of failure and the public recognizing your vulnerabilities (fearing they’ll laugh/point at it and emphasize it) -- realize that often times you delude yourself (by letting things get dramatic) and thus you lose out on maintaining opportunities/hobbies because of it. You presume that your credibility is all gone, that everything you’ve worked hard for is in one hit/miss opportunity. And thus-- you demotivate yourself and recreate yourself endlessly because of that.

Work to maintain, sustain and NOT put yourself down for one mistake you make. Learn how to grow, adapt and shift with it instead. Use that Aries to take accountability for yourself (since it can underline a seriousness to everything that you do, thus demands respectability for your fair attitude)-- but balance that out with letting others help you and tell you when you’re being an idiot.

Your self-reliance is incredibly motivating for others to see, yet at the same time your negligence (swerving/yeeting) out of people’s expectations is also your detriment/downfall because you don’t let anyone else help you or show you (teach you gently) how it’s done. You miss out on opportunities to grow, learn and base a stable foundation for yourself because you may oppose authority figures. And thus why, this is a problem Aries Saturn will have to realize and work through.

Taurus Saturn

None of the boys are Taurus Saturn but this might be relevant for those of you who are interested (and is in this age group)

Taurus roots run deep, with Saturn as well, maintaining stable relationship, your personal ‘front’ to the world, your personal goals/desires and roots/relationships also run deeps with Taurus.

It’s about a private person who often prefers intimate/personal relationships, it’s about finding inner worth, inner peace within one self through their garnered happiness. What they’ve maintained, stead-fastedly worked for, what they see for their potential future.

It’s about the personal but also interpersonal, Taurus is a Venus sign after all. It’s in gathering of people around you that makes things worth while, it’s about nurture/care that you’ve taken or given to others. And those being meaningful or becomes a ‘tradition’ you’re unwilling to let go of.

Taurus Saturn natives learns the hard way that they’re afraid of ‘letting go’ -- letting things change or shift or not having the means (environmentally/socially) to get/crave what ‘used to be’ for/from others anymore.

Love is unconditional for them, once they trust/love they give their all. Compensation (equal amounts) is always expected, so thus when you ‘embark’ on loving/giving your efforts/energy into an investment (person, object, knowledge) you give it your all. But it creates an ‘all or nothing’ attitude in you as well--- whether you have it all, or you have nothing. You’re always afraid of ‘losing’ something.

It comes from their world being shifted that they’re afraid of getting hurt, or protecting/surviving past whatever life throws in their face-- in order to maintain self-dependency and discipline, comfort and security within one self. It’s about learning to live and survive past that (since Taurus Saturn would’ve probably experienced it already) but not closing the self off from it (growing, progressing, unfurling like a wave. Instead of letting the hunger to have more/fear of losing something consumes you primally and entirely.)

From learning how to NOT suppress their emotions in lure of practicality, how to NOT think they’re immediately nonchalance, but instead investigate deeper into their psyche to uncover how they were hurt, what they have to grow, what they have to ‘process’ emotionally to get past their burden and truly learn how to not be ‘possessive’ over certain people/things/resources/balance later in life.

True path to happiness for Taurus Saturn is realizing that you always think about what you’re losing (low key risk assessment and obsession with that)-- caring about your resources/attributes/traits and whether you have ‘enough’ that it becomes a motivating factor/personal insecurity for you instead.

You seek happiness only by suppressing your own fears, kinda like the ‘this is fine :))’ meme where you try to make the best of what you have-- but suffer from the irrational urges/need to be more, do more have more all the time.

You may become stingy, with whatever your Taurus Saturn falls/lands into your house. Never truly feeling like your self-worth is enough only because the urge to have ‘more more and more’ eats you up internally. A hoarder of people/objects/knowledge, yet at the same time you’re preoccupied with counting what you have and what you will lose if you don’t ‘protect’ yourself.

The difference between obsession and possession is that we already ‘have’ something to be possessive about. Obsession we don’t have, but we’re willing to strive/work and knowing we don’t own but want to get to know it anyways

(Transform us emotionally, spiritually, psychologically through the experience and becoming stronger through that instead.)

It’s the lack of ‘self/ego’ involved with obsession, it’s about ‘others’ and trusting yourself to give freely/wantonly to your desires.

For the Taurus native, be cautious of the term but also try to not let your cautious/stagnant streak stop you from embarking on ‘wanting’ something so much that you’re unafraid to be ‘obsessed’ with it for the sake of it itself. And not for what it could become your ‘possession’ over (does that make sense? Not owning something as an end goal but still loving/caring about it enough to discover all about it and let it transform you into having a stronger/stable self-ego based on spiritual and psychological maturity)

Your seek of inner happiness is from realizing that there’s something to be had from transforming spiritually, psychologically and emotionally into becoming ‘you’. Instead of letting resources/money/traditionally makes ‘you’ instead.

You cling onto traditions/values for the sake of what it represents for you at the time, not wanting to depart from the object even when it’s spiritually moved on from that point where you remembered. The path of Taurus Saturn is in realizing that your psychological growth/standing is more important. Your skillsets and ability have more worth than the result you bring. Stop being consumed by irrationality over ‘this thing made me happy/seems right thus I have to keep doing it’ and pursue things that truly gives you inner growth. Don’t let your stagnancy stop you.

Ending Note

Alrighty, as an ending note. I just wanted to point out how it’s not JUST Saturn that’s making your life hell, it’s a combination of it aspecting with your other placements.

Most of the time we undermine the importance of generational planets, especially when Pluto AND Saturn can often shift and thus create a disturbance in our scope/sphere.

Saturn likes tradition, it’s about self-protection. And thus when Pluto shifts for us into a new sign it creates a disturbance to us personally. Changes are a hell lot of a mess because of it. And discounting how we ourselves may probably suffer from our own Saturn-aspect to inner planet placements that are already terrible for us. It only makes the shift harder because of this too.

So here’s a quick note on each modality and how your individual placements might affect these Saturns (if it’s aspected):

Pisces Saturn

For those of you who has Virgo, Gemini or Sagittarius in your chart. Welcome to hell.

Those with Virgos (opposition to Pisces Saturn) often hang in a precarious balance of self-decrepitation and inability to receive any satisfaction from others about yourself. Other’s opinions falls on deaf ears, often because you can’t physically ‘see’ yourself being what they say you are. You’re in a struggle of control/balance, trying to discipline yourself unnecessarily for delusional things you think you’re bad at. And unwilling to let others help because you often think ‘you’re not doing enough, not doing the right thing, not being good enough’

Those with Gemini in their placements (square to Pisces Saturn) are a lot more agitated and unable to understand (have patience) with why they can’t do certain things. Pisces is deep, while Gemini is progressive. You have this frustration where you ‘just want to move on from it’ but can’t identify the problem/what it is so it frustrates you. You want to progress, get better and develop, yet at the same time, this Pisces Saturn is making you way too emotional and you don’t know what’s wrong with yourself sometimes. Impatient and intolerance towards yourself, learn how to not lash out and get to know your Pisces Saturn sometimes.

Those with Sagittarius in their chart (square to Pisces Saturn) can sometimes be way to critical and self-serving, watch that you don’t over-indulge in your own desire, make promises/words you can’t keep and often end up flaky/failing out of something because you can’t ‘back yourself up’ often. You need space, everybody knows that. But you also take on way more than you can chew and end up isolating yourself sometimes as well (feeling more alone because of it). Try to keep consistency, or a schedule. Since it’ll help you fill in the gaps of what you need to do ( ‘hmmm my schedule is empty but I know I won’t be up for it mentally-- but let’s do something else instead’)

Aries Saturn

For those who has Capricorn, Libra or Cancer in their chart. This one’s for you.

Capricorn in your personal placements (combined with a native Aries Saturn) you’re the luckiest out of the bunch. But besides that, you also have to look out for overly pressuring yourself, putting yourself under circumstantial pressure or STUBBORNNESS that you’re unable to let go of a path/something you desire (inflexibility) to the point where you achieve something just because you ‘started out’ wanting to achieve it. Satisfaction doesn’t taste so sweet when you realized half-way through you want something else, but your need for ‘principality of things’ (sticking through it till the bitter end) makes you do things for the sake of proving that you can. This aint it, cause you’re a long-winded worker and not an efficient one. Learn how to live with the times, man.

Cancer in your chart (with regards to Aries Saturn) is extremely self/other-protective, you demand and nag others for things/respect/nurture yet at the same time you refuse to do so for yourself (’give me back what you owe me bc I gave it to you already’). You become needy/impatient because of self-serving nature, so try to balance your emotional need with other things (spread yourself out and not pin-point yourself like that) -- you may get defensive, and then protective over your own method/mind/goals. Think you know yourself best, so try to learn how to keep an open-mind/heart to those around you as it can nourish/grow you better than you can yourself as well.

Libra with Aries Saturn native this indecision is even worse for you than anyone else. On one hand you’re impatient, you wanna do things and you wanna do it now. On the other hand, do you know how lonely you are by keeping yourself so productively busy you neglect your own emotional-health/wanting to be with someone else? You’re a Venus sign so it’s normal to receive/want nourishment from others. Yet at the same time, your crippling fear of intimacy stops you from exposing your vulnerabilities (Aries) and then emotionally connecting with someone else (having too much expectations on them - Libra). You sabotage yourself on the daily grind because you think ‘im a strong independent person I can do things/be desirable but I don’t need anyone else’ when secretly you DO want others to be with you and cherish you. So??? What are you going to do about it (please don’t say sike, please say you’re going to take action I-- skdnsknj please look after yourself!!!) -- also re-read this and contextualize it with your projects/things you want to be good at but is unsure about whether or not you’ll succeed in. Your perfectionist streak stops you from embarking on them so make sure to regard your need for other’s validation/affirmation as well.

Taurus/Aquarius Saturn

For those with Leo or Scorpio in their chart. Hello darkness my old friend here we are again and the gathering of The Dumb Hos who likes to have Fun committee.

For Scorpio natives (opposition to Taurus, square to Aquarius) welcome!!! It’s your personal hell. Here we have someone who gets mighty possessive AND obsessive with behaving in a certain way, wanting a certain thing and single-mindedly trying to pursue it through hell or high waters. For Aquarius-Scorpio combination, you can sometimes be a little detached, unemotional. A little cynical and likes to probe (or have a problem with being too blunt/sarcastic at all the wrong times) -- people aren’t satisfied with you and you’re fine with being out-casted. It adds to your charm. But watch that you can sometimes pull yourself off too much socially that you become unable to have fulfilling personal relationships, that you rely too much on your mental strength/fortitude that your emotional needs are neglected instead.

For Taurus-Scorpio combination, you’re a little more on the other extreme. Emotional and possessive, often time (sometimes) independence until you decide NOT to be. You let yourself be needy, clingy, only to lure others into you and then you set your claws caging them in. It’s all a trap. Sometimes you brush aside others for your own gain, getting in the way of you and your path is never ideal. And you can often neglect to realize how others might be feeling/thinking or putting in enough effort to equalize your relationship until it bites you in the ass (by losing someone/people and letting it repeat itself-- thinking other people is the mistake and not you. Until you finally get that it might be ‘you’ who’s the problem and not them.)

For Leo natives hello. We’re going to have fun here. Leo-Aquarius combination makes for someone who’s highly independence, wants satisfaction, affirmation from others. Your deep psychological scars from childhood can be seen from space (which is a good thing don’t worry) because you ARE an emotional person and it shows (cause you have to deal/work through it)-- technically you’re slightly better than Scorpio-Aquarius because you do realize the impact people have on you. You want gratification and realize your own self-worth, yet at the same time-- because it’s opposite signs, you tend to be a little more egoistic, too personal and then impersonal, too ‘breeze through the details’ and see the bigger picture sometimes that you don’t settle down somewhere/someone or pull your own work (kinda...emphasis on your focus/attention span being abhorrant sometimes) --you work at your own pace/schedule and sometimes you are unwilling to ever compromise or settle into a scheduled ‘structure’ (even if it’s fair to others that you do)

For Leo-Taurus, you’re a little on the emotional side. You feel deeply/strongly for others, incredibly faithful and truthful. Sometimes to the point of you being the shield/putting yourself out for others (if they’re really vulnerable/weak). You take your relationships and goals seriously, and even when others oppose-- there’s no way to change your mind/goal. You can sometimes cling onto the past or the things you know, the people and tradition you hold. You let your past take advantage of you sometimes, dictating your future and your experiences in the present/now. Watch that sometimes, you expect others to remember things as deeply/personally as you do but they don’t. And you set yourself up for disappointment and hurt because your emotional side of 0-100 can rear its head sometimes as well.

*Also: Look for mutual receptivity. If you have Capricorn, Aquarius somewhere in your chart (Uranus/Neptune/Mars/Jupiter/Venus) it could potentially be mutually recepted to these placements.

Conclusion

That’s it for this post, please look at your mutual receptivity between Social/Generational Planet as well! 💕 Since those are slower moving, or your inner planet if you have those! 💕

I hope this post is useful, and that I hope it outlines what kinda things you might find yourself/others dealing with. Go over it and thinking about the boys (which ever boy group or girl group) you see in these generations might be fun to do too 💕💕💕

I’m sorry it’s like SUPER long but I hope you gain something from it anyways! 💕 I’ll come back and bold it later 💕💕💕 But for now, have this 💕

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r6shippingdelivery · 5 years

Note

Hey if you’re still doing them could you do the whole alphabet for either bandit or thatcher please.

I did a bunch of letters for Bandit already, which you can find here, so I’ll be doing Thatcher this time, okay?

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He’ll usually will press a kiss on his partner’s forehead and another on their lips before laying next to each other in bed, catching their breath and indulging in a bit of pillow talk after they get cleaned up.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He knows he’s extremely fit for his age and enjoys it. Thatcher is proud of how strong his body is, particularly his arms, and will gladly flex them for his partner just for show or to pick them up. On his partner, he usually fixates on their lips (how perfect do they look wrapped around his cock, or reddened after kissing each other roughly) or on their thighs (like how amazing they are wrapped around his waist).

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He’s a highly practical man, and wearing a condom is both a safety measure and a way to have a faster and easier clean up later.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He’s no stranger to glory holes and the thrill of having his cock sucked anonymously. Of course, only during the times he had no partner, but still would never admit that secret to anyone.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He has loads and loads of experince, can make his partners turn to a begging mess when he puts his mind on it, prolonging their pleasure until they can’t see straight.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Missionary works well enough for him, it’s always easy to get into the position and he can watch his partner’s face and kiss them, no downside as far as he’s concerned. Standing sex is also good, maybe with the receiving partner bent over a sturdy surface, that one allows for rougher sessions if he’s in the mood for it.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He keeps rather serious and passionate, but will chuckle at any misshaps than may happen, cause he knows it’s nothing serious to worry about.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He strikes me as someone who’s rather hairy and proud of it, so at most he would trim down the hair a bit, nothing more.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Sex with Thatcher always feels intimate, he will focus on his partner as if they’re the center of his world and in those moment that feels like the absolute truth. He might not be very romantic in the traditional sense, but he knows how to make his partner feel wanted, that’s for sure.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He will either use it as a way to relieve stress, which makes the session focused on achieving his glorious orgasm and the rush of relaxed happiness that comes with it; or he will masturbate as a prelude to sex, before reuniting with his partner if one of them was away. In this latter case, he will draw it out for a while and not let himself cum, so he’ll be primed and ready to pick his partner and dash to the bedroom.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Thatcher is a controlling bastard, so he loves getting to control his partner too, having them ask for guidance and/or permission before doing something, or before orgasming. He also loves playing with his partner’s nipples.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Bedroom or his privare office, that desk has seen its fair share of action.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

There’s a certain spot on his neck that when nibbled or kissed, will make his knees go weak and his cock get hard without fail, especially when accompanied by his partner sitting on his lap or as a follow up to some intense kissing.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Getting restricted in any way, be it bindings/ropes/handcuffs or blindfolds. He has no problem using those on his partner if that’s what they like, but not on him.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He’s highly skilled at giving, but he prefers to receive. Doesn’t really care how experienced his partner is as long as they show enthusiasm for the task.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

No matter who is topping, he prefers to take it slow until both parties are comfortable with the current pace. Only then will he be amenable to going faster or rougher, all in small increments so the change isn’t painful for anyone.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Quickies are not for him, Thatcher prefers the real deal as he calls it, slow and passionate sex, otherwise what’s the point of it? Youths are too impatient nowadays, waiting for a proper moment to have unhurried sex can actually be part of the game, and the anticipation makes the eventual act even better.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He’s not naturally inclined to take risks, mostly because he has the experience to know if something will work out for good or bad most of the time.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Usually just one round, but it will be an intesne and long one, that’s for sure. If he’s been away from his partner for long, he will try for a second round later that day.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He didn’t use toys, but his partner introduce them in their playtimes, and now he loves to use those to tease and edge his partner, which helps him last longer too.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

I think I kinda answered that one just above 😄To sum up: usually a direct man, except in bed where he’s a teasing bastard who loves to make his partner ask/beg to make them cum.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Not the loudest, but not quiet either. He’ll grunt low in his throat every so often, in time with the thrusts, groaning a bit louder when he’s close. Don’t expect much talk during the act itself, unless it’s to direct his partner on what to do.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Thatcher thinks that living on a boat makes him look hip and cool. Many agree until they realise the boat’s name is “Iron Maggie” 😂

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Look, the famous SAS bulge doesn’t lie, he’s hung above average for sure, and decently thick as well.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

As high as it was when he was a good fifteen years younger, which still surprises him cause he expected it would diminish the older he was.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He prefers to keep awake and indulge in some pillow talk, be it praise for his partner and saying each other sweet nothings while the endorphins are high, or telling each other more about their dreams and hopes. He feels he gets even closer to his partner during those moments, physical and emotional intimacy all in one package.

#rainbow 6 siege #r6s #rainbow six siege #Thatcher #headcanons #Anonymous

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airlock · 5 years

Text

airlock grades the Gharnef archetype

so, I got a random hankering to start a text post series where I launch myself off on reviews of each character from a certain villainous archetype in Fire Emblem -- and hey, it’s a reasonably nice time of the year to be doing posts like these, what with that new upcoming entry that we learn more about each day, isn’t it?

to kick off the festivities, I’m doing one of my favorites -- let’s see who wore the heavy robes better!

(do note: under cut are spoilers for... everything, and also a significant amount of me criticizing or blamming characters that you might like. you’ve been warned! but if you’d still persist, you childish sword lord, then come along and meet my challenge-)

the man himself

(6/10)

although the execution suffers from myriad flaws -- of which several can be touted to stem from storage space limitations in FE1 and FE3, but are inexcusably retained in the remakes -- it’s not for no reason that this fellow spawned a lengthy line of imitators.

the detail of his backstory and motivation is brillant; he’s a perfectly understandable villain without being remotely redeemable -- a much-needed class in antagonist writing for more recent entries of the series. he’s also effective as a terrifying, genuinely threatening villain, implacable and powerful.

unfortunately, however, his excellently written characterization is largely confined to flavor; it fails to inform his actions or the flow of the plot, and so, he tends to come across as a plot device instead of a character. even his takeover of Khadein is written very powerfully for something that isn’t seen and barely influences any of the game’s events. and although his sheer ambition in withholding Falchion to eventually betray Medeus ends up coming across as a plot action instead of something steeped in his essence. and this all to say nothing of his second appearance, where he fully forgoes being a character and behaves indistinguishably from a non-sentinent madness-inducing talisman.

overall, he’s a splendid concept for a villain that is ultimately laid low in execution, largely because, back in his day, the text wasn’t big enough to comfortably carry him, and the more recent incarnations were ineffective in expanding it despite having more than enough room to do so.

I also docked a point or two for being an antisemitic/anti-roma stereotype in his earlier incarnations, what with the hooked nose and rare darker skintone; the remakes thankfully eschew this by swapping out the nose and making the skintone outright inhuman, but the more recent Heroes design, while an improvement on many fronts, seems to roll back on this one.

church gharnef

(6/10)

unlike the above-mentioned, this one was in a remake that changed a lot of things; I mention this as a healthy preface to the fact that I am only familiar with his more recent incarnation!

like Gharnef above, he’s an unforgivable, but genuine villain; while a lust for power is hardly fresh as far as motivations go, the game does reasonably well at establishing that he’s already powerful and influential, and has fallen to cruel orthodoxy in a bid to eliminate threats to his power at all costs -- in other words, his characterization is timelessly realistic.

unfortunately, however, that much is all text, if not outright fanon; the story proper restricts him to behaving as an unconvincing cacklefiend playing at a kidnap-the-princess plot that the princess in question should’ve been too strong and too smart to fall prey to. making Celica a somewhat willing hostage instead of a helpless captive was a step in the right direction, but it doesn’t cover the distance; it would have been far more interesting if Jedah had gotten the chance to overpower Celica in the arena of genuine manipulation through theological debate -- and on the other coin of things, I’m sure his preying on Celica’s fears would seem a lot more organic if not for how dedicated the game is to telling her that she’s wrong before she even takes the steps across the point of no return.

he’s much like the original Gharnef in being an intriguing concept that falls flat on execution, although with both of those qualities amped up -- even more interesting in theory, even flatter in practice.

discount gharnef

(2/10)

sorry not sorry for nicknaming him that!

I believe I’ve said it a number of times and I’ll say it again: Manfroy is a manipulative villain in a setting full of people who don’t need manipulation to make bad decisions and ruin their own lives. he comes across as a plot device at the best of times, and as a null factor at the worst of times; he brings nothing to any cutscene that he appears in.

Seliph’s visit to the Yied Shrine alludes to his backstory -- that which he shares with the rest of the cult -- but this instance is even poorer than previous examples at establishing a plot presence; it not only fails to inform Manfroy’s choices in any interesting way, but it’s also outright contradicted by his actions sometimes (cfr: withholding the Naga tome, in a move that brings Gharnef’s playbook to mind but makes no sense at all for Manfroy).

points have been docked again for racial stereotyping, also; the sprite alone doesn’t make it very evident but he’s also got a face that can be used as a fishing pole.

irrelevant gharnef

(1/10)

Veld is a step beneath even Manfroy, as yet another pointless manipulative villain -- notorious for stealing a slice of agency from one of the far more genuine antagonists of the setting -- who doesn’t make his presence felt at all. I was halfway tempted to consider Raydrik the actual Manfroy here, even.

he retains one point only for not being a racial stereotype, for once.

the absence of a gharnef

(wha?/10)

Binding Blade, for all its highly repetitious usage of archetypes (being, in fact, arguably responsible for making them a thing in the first place, where they were previously just repetitive Kaga quirks), seems to have eschewed the Gharnef. this actually somewhat works in its favor; although the game’s plot is ultimately one of the shallower ones in the series, the lack of a core manipulative villain puts the focus on the self-interested factionalism that each country suffers from as they fail to mobilize a resistance against the primary villain. so, overall, an approach that would have worked out great in Jugdral.

monsterfucker gharnef

(8.5/10)

where Binding Blade had succeeded in building a plot that doesn’t need a Gharnef, its prequel was successful in the opposite: creating one of the most effective incarnations of the archetype to date, and making him front and center, to boot.

although all Gharnefs thus far have been manipulative villains, Nergal and his cronies are the first ones who show true skill in manipulation -- as in, conning people into acting against their interests, in situations where they otherwise would not have. through this, he cements himself as the primary antagonist and driver of the plot, where his predecessors were content, if dishonest, in serving a greater evil. and he brings very perceptible weight to the position, specially in the scenes where he presses the buttons of the heroes; although he fails to ultimately discourage them from defeating him, it comes across as a result of heroic strength, not of ineffective villainy.

that said, however he shimmers and shines as the heavy, he’s somewhat held back by his backstory -- one that only partially succeeds at informing his actions (however compelling it is when it does manage to do so), and worse, is largely locked to second-playthrough bonuses, where the story would’ve benefitted much more from naturally doling out his secrets along the way.

I also docked a half-point because the pseudo-turban and goatee arguably veer into the racial stereotype territory again, although he at least has the point-for of not having an outright gonk design (even when the turban goes off). I should be clear: it’s not that I oppose having nonwhite/nonwestern elements on an antagonist at all, it just comes across rather poorly when certain elements are only seen on antagonists, and especially if it’s always on the ugly ones.

twink gharnef

(10/10)

Lyon is the apex of plot-driving gharnefs, plain and simple. undeniably sympathetic, but impossible to save, whether he’s too far gone or was never redeemable to begin with -- and in fact, this ambiguity is easily the most brillant aspect of all of the writing in Sacred Stones.

he’s characterized effectively from wire to wire: his appearance, mannerisms and fond flashbacks do an excellent job of disarming the player while setting them up for a staggering plot twist, but the game is also not too hesitant to bring the plot twist to fruition and saves enough time to keep building on him past the point when the big secret is out -- sidestepping a pervasive trap that otherwise often causes plot twists to weaken stories. and all the way to the end, it’s difficult to narrow his character down to one narrative that doesn’t feel strictly like a personal interpretation; there are as many Lyons as there are players, right down to the point where he comes across differently depending on whether you’re playing as Eirika or Ephraim!

there’s also credit to be given to the remainder of the cast that effectively props him up; because he has underlings that behave strongly on their own motivations -- and sometimes beyond even Lyon’s control -- he spares himself from behaving as a plot device to focus fully on serving as the genuine core of the story as a whole. I suppose he’s a good delegator if nothing else, eh?

depression gharnef

(4/10)

unlike the above, Sephiran fails crucially in one regard: he’s set up as an extremely endgame plot twist, which, coupled with a frantic, breathless third act that insuffices to fully explore the implications of the reveals it dishes out, causes his reveal to land closer to shock value than to the completion of an arc.

while his backstory is breathtakingly fascinating, it serves exclusively as a footnote to eulogize him with; it’s not just that his actions don’t seem to be informed by it, but rather that his actions completely lack weight in the plot, making it even somewhat arguable to class him as a Gharnef at all. in Path of Radiance, he only appears as an irrelevant mystery, and Radiant Dawn coming out to accredit him for some number of Ashnard’s deeds fails to budge that one’s sheer weight and doesn’t change perspectives.

it’s quite a shame, because in concept, he could’ve been the next Lyon; but the execution is painfully fragile, and amidst the complex web of characters and plots in Tellius, his greater-scope motions fail to be felt whatsoever until the late chapters of Radiant Dawn’s Part 3.

DIWNLF gharnef

(0/10)

(that’s “dad I would not like to fuck”, incidentally)

it’s not for no reason that this guy is the only major antagonist that Awakening doesn’t let you trip over still alive and kicking somehow. he is 100% plot device, adds nothing to the story or to any single scene that he appears in, lacks in personality, doesn’t present any sort of challenge that isn’t erradicated without fanfare by the protagonists, and doesn’t even have any sort of a backstory.

and he’s a racist stereotype on top of all that, so he doesn’t even get a mercy point like his similarly irrelevant predecessor from Thracia 776.

I have not played the game with this gharnef

(??/10)

I don’t even know if he counts; I see a lot of back-and-forth in that regard.

anyways, what do you all think? “oh my god someone finally said it”, or perhaps “I will kill you but not as hard as you assassinated my favorite antagonist”? if the upcoming Three Houses is to have a Gharnef, do you have any hopes for what they’ll be like? this is all nice and open to replies and reblogs, folks! don’t be shy! yes.... do it... succumb to the temptation.......

#airlock grades the villain archetypes #Fire Emblem is tagged in this post

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anth-seeing2019 · 4 years

Text

Pl34SUR3S

While working, I chose not to intervene with Christian institutions in lower-income or underprivileged areas. A lot of learning has resulted from this project as it has been conducted. Out of that knowledge, I’ve generated newfound respect; not just of people’s faith, but of the community that surrounds these institutions and its function as a still-beating-heart within Cincinnatian gentrification. Out of respect, I set one hard restriction within the parameters of this project.

Goal: Discussion and action towards sex education reform in public schools by challenging one of its biggest stakeholders, religion.

Topic: Sex Censorship

Audience: Institutions and congregations of the Christian faith (primarily in well-functioning districts)

Disruption: Public Art/ Performance and documentation of blow-up doll No.2 (Betty) juxtaposed with religious institutions

By investigating how religion, Catholicism, in particular, has cultivated an air of taboo around sex, this project urges its faculties to reconsider their quasi-archaic conventions through public art disruption and discourse. The end goal of this project is to advocate for sexual education reform in public schools through the implementation of a blow-up doll. This project proposes that if you can have a dialogue about sex in church congregations, then it shouldn’t be unreasonable to have the same dialogue in schools; opening up discussion more freely and unburdening awkwardness.

This project comes down to the fundamental battle and restraints that pro creationism has perpetrated over the years and how institutions such as the Vatican, prevent progressive social reform from ever being discussed; preventing access by censoring or ignoring the topic through various loopholes/misdirection. For instance, catholic families can omit their children from participating in sex-ed classes entirely by writing a note.

On Catholicism and Religion & History

It’s a widely accepted faith with a lot of history and influence. So, when we think of the very beginnings of civilization, procreation was necessary for safety in numbers, working offspring, food gathering, and innovation. Since language was invented, procreation as been one of the binding values that belief systems, governments, and institutions all share.

Catholicism used it as a way to create more followers (I mean this in a sincere way) and keep family members united; which is a good thing…until you get to the 21st century. “In the past decade alone, online dating has had probably the biggest single impact on our sexual lives. Websites and apps designed to facilitate sex and romance are everywhere”. This isn’t to say that Catholicism is inherently bad; in fact, it’s done a lot of good: inspiring goodwill, charity, faith, and rules that keep people from harming others. The problem with the way that religion perpetrates procreation now is that any partner-seeking individual within a congregation is expected to keep up with orthodox. The unfortunate, but true fact is that many members of the Catholic faith don’t follow these restrictions. Forced into secrecy, this then creates even more problems. Catholic women are 5X more likely to have an abortion in unsanitary conditions, often resulting in permanent damage to their reproductive organs.

By implementing a blow-up doll, I was able to stage a disruption that facilitated immediate dialogue. I armed myself with facts, statistics, and my mantra-my reason for interrupting their form of seeing-“IF you can talk about sex in church, then you can talk about sex in schools”, which was my way of simplifying advocacy for sex-education reform in public schools. What I’m advocating for in particular is more transparency and access to intermittent sex-ed courses and the inclusion of gender and sexuality studies. Sex-education is treated as a one-and-done course; with the majority of public schools only making it mandatory for a quarter portion of school year studies. Sex-education should be taught repeatedly and intermittently. Teenage and adolescent bodies change drastically throughout cursory education. These physical and emotional changes should be addressed chronologically in tangent with lessons on sexuality and gender; garnering an understanding of attraction, cross-gender, and sexual preference, would generate acceptance of the self and surrounding classmates. This would generate lifelong learning and positive habits for understanding diversity both in school and in alternative environments.

Why a Blow-up Doll?

I chose a blow-up doll for this project because of these points which ascribe its relevance and activation as a device for disruption in this case :

Blow-up dolls were popularized by men and have a historical prevalence of sex. Primordial versions date as far back as Greek Mythology: The story of Pygmalion which was eventually turned into a play by George Bernard Shaw [of the same name].

Females are heavily scrutinized and overlooked in the Bible. In fact, Wikipedia’s list of biblical female names used in the Bible says “This list contains persons named in the Bible of minor notability, about whom either nothing or very little is known, aside from any family connections.”Blow dolls throughout history consistently depict a female form [which is what I am]Contemporary, radical feminism has been facilitated by females and the female form has been viewed as a vessel for change; which I think authenticates its existence. Many of today’s hot debates are centered around female rights, pro-choice, women’s health, etc., all of which Catholicism plays a major stakeholder in and against. (This reason most of all, I enjoy because it forces femininity into the banal foreground; gloriously nude and proud). It’s symbolic of modernity, change, and acceptance. Finally, blow-up dolls are hilarious and brutally forward. They are indexical of sex in private quarters, but questionable in public forum. Something as puzzling as a ‘rogue blow-up doll’ incites query automatically.

In Action: The Disruption

youtube

First attempts at launching Blow-up doll worked in provisional trials but not by simply filling the doll with helium [blow-up dolls made from PVC cannot simply be filled with helium and float. Buoyancy rates when using helium rise and fall according to the material and surface area]. I had to resort to using multiple balloons, fishing wire, stock helium, and strategic timing which made the project far more foreign when just starting out. Using the balloons and floating a blow-up doll A) happens far too quickly to time intervention with congregation B) requires a larger strike force of people that I didn’t have C) Any rogue wind would result in misdirection of the doll and instigate a search and rescue mission. Floating the doll was canceled after rogue winds caused the doll to come in contact with the steeple of the church; popping balloons and dislodging harness from doll resulting in minor panic from bystanders [and also getting chased off church property]. The doll hit the cross adornment at the top of the steeple of the church and fell, as made barely visible in the photograph.

Parameters

A lot of learning has resulted from this project as it has been conducted. Out of that knowledge, I’ve generated newfound respect; not just of people’s faith, but of the community that surrounds these institutions and its function as a still-beating-heart within Cincinnatian gentrification. Out of respect, I set one hard restriction within the parameters of this project. While working, I chose not to intervene with Christian institutions in lower-income or underprivileged areas. Out of respect for the community, I chose not to intervene with these buildings because of their role in lower-income areas as not only a place of worship, but a place for community gatherings, faith, outreach, charity, and goodwill. Many of these areas don’t have places for community outreach except for places of worship. Latoya Ruber Frasier’s work calls for awareness of gentrification in the Braddock area of Pittsburgh. Similarly, she notes that factions of a dilapidated community infrastructure often cling to a building, area, or meeting place that serves as the community’s only existing place of refuge. In the series, Campaign for Braddock Hospital (Save Our Community Hospital) (2011), Frazier curates a series of photographs with written recountments and repurposed advertisements from competing industrial investors; those who were wanting to purchase the hospital. This series shows the hopeless, last stand of a community fighting for the essence of their existence to remain intact. Intervening in these areas with this disruption practice would make people less likely to talk or even feel motivated to discuss sex-ed reform. I wanted people to be able to laugh at the end of conversations; not feel disenfranchised, violated, or looked down upon more. All of these concerns tie in with the “Stranger with a Camera” screening which discussed how an outsider’s objective of intervening within an environment can potentially belittle it further and put the outsider in a dangerous position.

Intervention/Disruption

Once the blow-up doll was in position, people came to me quickly. Initial rage was common amongst the conversations I had. Typically, people were outraged and would begin conversations by questioning who was responsible. In the Videos presented in class, every incident is represented/documented by an intervening photographer. Specifically, I think that the work intervenes on a level that could be considered risky’. Not only is it an intervention of visual culture, but it has the potential to disrupt critical cultural values in a specified area or group. For these interventions, caution is a must, but also the consideration of values that are being devalued. Interestingly enough, most of these people never actually saw me placing the doll in position. They were making assumptions based on prejudice; unrealistic expectations to lead them to the perpetrator of the incident or placing blame on me automatically based on proximity and associative stigma. This is where another reading comes into play. Karen Strassler, Refracted Visions, photographer as a ‘witness to history’ and the expectations of photographers as inherent record keepers. Where this intervention documents a specific disruption, the members of the congregation wish to omit this type of history from ever taking place.

Interviews

Once Initial reactions transpired and commonalities exchanged, I had questions I would give:

-Can you explain why this makes you upset?

-Why isn’t sex talked about in church and why do people pull their children out of sexed classes in school? Do you think this is beneficial to them in the long run, why/why not?

-If sex-ed was reformed, would you allow your children to attend?

-What do you think about the dismissal and coverups of sexual predators within the institution?

-Do you see similarities between priest defilement and sex aversion in Catholicism? If yes, what needs to change? If no, are you aware of either issue?

-I miss participating in Catholic ceremonies, mass, and the sacraments, but I feel that the infrastructure is wildly corrupt. The priest I grew up listening to for 18 years was accused of sexual assault. I now consider myself a pansexual. How could I ever return to this faith and why aren’t many of these men serving crime in person?

-Do you agree with sex-ed reform in public schools to include more, intermittent classwork and development? Would you condone gender and sexuality studies in this class?

-Do you think the Catholic Church will ever consider reformation for the inclusion of more progressive practices, inclusion, and accommodations that meet modern advancements?

Works Cited

Frazier, Latoya Ruby. Campaign for Braddock Hospital . Pittsburgh, 2011.

Garland-Thomson, Rosemarie. Staring: How We Look. Oxford University Press, 2015.

“List of Women in the Bible.” Wikipedia, Wikimedia Foundation, 3 Dec. 2019, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_women_in_the_Bible.

Strassler, Karen. Refracted Visions: Popular Photography and National Modernity in Java. Duke Univ. Press, 2010.

#alyssamaurerphoto #alyssamaurer #alicegraphy #alicegraphyy #daapmfa #daap #criticalvisions #intervention #disruption #blowup

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phroyd · 5 years

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On Thursday, the House passed a bill urging the public disclosure of special counsel Robert S. Mueller III’s report. It did so nearly unanimously — the vote was 420-0. The four members who didn’t vote for it instead voted “present.”

But almost immediately, Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) blocked the Senate from even taking it up. The Senate Judiciary Committee chairman demanded that Democrats also vote on appointing a special counsel to look into alleged "Department of Justice misconduct” in the investigations into President Trump and Hillary Clinton. Democrats are refusing.

Here’s why Graham may want to reconsider.

There is surely a moral case for voting for the bill, as the House’s near-unanimous passage suggests, but that’s for people to decide for themselves. There are reasons that Justice Department guidelines don’t require the full release of the Mueller report, including not releasing information obtained via grand jury and not publicizing allegations that don’t lead to actual indictments. Attorney General William Barr has cited these restrictions as constraining his ability to release details of the report, which is what led to the House’s vote.

But politically speaking, there are many reasons Graham should want to vote for this, and now. One is that it’s not binding, so it wouldn’t technically change much of anything. Why not just vote on something that merely expresses a pro-disclosure posture? Almost every House Republican was only so happy to do so on Thursday. They may have been more worried about what it would have looked like to vote against it, but this was about as close to a consensus bill as you can get.

Beyond that, it could help avoid potentially much more difficult votes down the line. Let’s say that we see only limited details of the Mueller report publicly, but there is a suggestion of potential wrongdoing by Trump or someone close to him like his son, Donald Trump Jr. At that point, congressional Republicans would be in a real pickle. Do they not push for the release of the full report, and look like they are trying to cover it up? Or do they vote for disclosure at that point, and make it look like they are truly concerned about what Trump et al. may have done?

The second-ranking House Republican, Rep. Steve Scalise (La.), pointed to the perils of non-disclosure after Thursday’s vote. “After taking nearly two years, costing tens of millions of taxpayer dollars, and providing limited public information about its scope," he said, "I am especially concerned about what would happen if the report was not made available to Congress.”

Voting in favor of disclosure now would put GOP senators on the record on this topic at a time when it’s not a very difficult decision. They could help inoculate themselves from this whole situation by simply saying they would like to see what Mueller found, and then let Barr make his decisions (which may or may not actually be influenced by these votes). That puts the onus on Barr to be the Bad Guy, rather than them. ‘We already voted for disclosure!' they could say.

Graham’s demand for a special counsel to look into alleged Justice Department wrongdoing is clearly a politically motivated one. There is already a U.S. attorney looking into these things, but Graham wants to make the argument that Democrats aren’t curious about potential wrongdoing within the top levels of U.S. law enforcement.

But Graham is also someone who has seen merit in getting out ahead of potentially damaging situations involving Mueller. At one point he was a leading advocate for a bill to protect Mueller from being fired by Trump. (Since becoming Judiciary Committee chairman and having the power to actually move such a bill, Graham has backed off and said there’s no need.)

This would seem an even bigger opportunity to check a box before things get messy. Time will tell whether it was the right call politically to ignore a bill the House passed 420-0.

Phroyd

#graham #trump #mueller

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subasekabang · 6 years

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Ties We Bind (& Break), Chapter 5

Author: composeregg Rating: T Word Count: 15435, Chapter total: 4170 Pairings/Characters: Joshua/Neku, Shiki/Eri, Joshua & Neku & Shiki & Beat & Rhyme & Eri in a queerplatonic poly-pile relationship. Hanekoma, Kariya. Warnings: Includes depression heavily, and mentions of suicide. Summary: One year after the Long Game, a tall boy named Yuuto Kimura, who has messy black hair, glasses, and bright green eyes, stumbles into Neku’s life, and he can’t help but let him get close, letting him join the circle of friends.

One year after the Long Game, Joshua aches to hang out with Neku again, but the restrictions he’s gained for his transgressions are very clear: Yoshiya Kiryu, Composer of Shibuya, is not to interact with Neku Sakuraba.

(But every rule has a loophole.)

Author’s Note: Each chapter is also being added to ao3! Here! (Small delay per chapter).

Featuring autistic/neurodivergent characters, the “Joshua is Neku’s Dead Best Friend” theory, and lots of headcanons abound.

“Where is he?”

Yuuto looks over at Neku from his place sprawled on Neku’s bedroom floor. The declaration makes him raise an eyebrow, and Beat, Shiki, and Rhyme sigh.

Neku is sitting on his bed, flopped over Beat’s lap with a sketchbook in front of him. Rhyme is leaning against its base, and Shiki has staked a claim on the desk chair. Yuuto himself has his back against the wall, laying on his side so he can look at the others. With Neku talking, he sets down his phone.

“Where is who?” he asks.

A sigh escapes him as Neku looks back. “My second week Partner.” Oh. “His name is Joshua, and I haven’t seen him since the last day of my Game.”

“You don’t talk about him much, Neku,” says Shiki, eyebrows scrunched as she looks up from her current sewing project.

“Yeah,” he mutters. “It’s complicated, guys.”

More than you know.

“He did somthin’ to ya, we know that, but you’ve never said what,” Beat chimes in, and oh, they’re prompting Neku. Trying to get the full story out of him.

Neku wavers, fingers tapping at the paper in front of him as indecision flickers across his face. He needs to tell them. Neku can’t keep this bottled up forever, nor can he wait for Josh to emerge.

All it takes is one Imprint. He doesn’t even notice the subtle sway wriggling its way into his head, urging him on, strengthening his impulse to spill the secret.

Tell them. What’s the worst that could happen? They deserve to know, and if Joshua protests, well, you were never told not to tell them.

“Joshua is the Composer, and he shot me. Twice.” The words spill past his lips, tumbling off his tongue, before he slaps a hand over his mouth, eyes widening.

Rhyme gives Yuuto a Look, making sure no one else notices. He shrugs back, sending a thought over to them: He needs to get it out, he’s bottled all this up. There’s nothing against the rules… Explicitly.

“What the fuck?” Shiki is staring at Neku, and Beat is too.

“It’s complicated–”

“Okay but what the actual fuck? He shot you!?” She stands, huffing and pacing the room, running fingers through her hair. “You still want him to show up after he did that to you?”

“Shiki please–”

“I’m wit’ her man, why would you want that?” Beat says, fist clenched.

It should concern Yuuto more, honestly. Rhyme is still glaring at him. Yet, all he can do is frown, and tap a finger to his chin. “I’m sure Neku has his reasons, why don’t we let him speak them?”

Neku shoots him a grateful look as the others quiet down, and Shiki flops back into the chair, keeping her mouth shut but her eyes on Neku, ready to judge if the explanation is satisfactory.

“Joshua is… Complicated.” Neku sighs, sitting up and leaning against the wall, instead of lying on Beat’s lap. It’s no doubt easy to pull away, pull into himself.

“I think he’s a lot like me. Or, before and during the Game he was similar to how I was when you all first met me. Only worse. Depression and loneliness gave him a misanthropic view of the world, and I could feel it.” He runs a hand through his hair. Gelled spikes don’t agree with the treatment, so he switches to twisting the end of one between his fingers.

“I related to him, we had the same sort of humor and outlook, except seeing his helped me re-evaluate my own. It hurt, when I thought he shot me, even though he was an annoying git. It hurt even more, when I thought he got himself Erased to save me, and I thought he hadn’t killed me for that last week.”

Yuuto keeps his expression neutral, a blank sheet of paper. The sacrifice might’ve been over-the-top, it might’ve been what kept Neku from shooting him. Neku knew what it was like to lose him, and he didn’t want to cause himself that pain. Again.

“I dunno…” Neku continues, “I don’t forgive him, but he was my Partner, and you all know what that’s like. He chose me as a Proxy, playing some fucked-up game with the Conductor. At the end…”

“You don’t talk about what happened in that final room,” Rhyme says, moving away from the bed so they can look up at Neku.

“The Conductor got Erased, and he challenged me to a duel. Whoever won got to choose what to do with Shibuya, he wanted to Erase the UG. Even with that motive, even knowing everything he did, I couldn’t pull the trigger. And he shot me. Again.”

A slight tremor runs through Neku’s body. His Music is a cacophony of noise, but Joshua keeps the Noise at bay, even when he looks like Yuuto. There are no tears, but grief wells within Neku.

“If he won, why is Shibuya still standing? Why did any of us get brought back?” Shiki asks.

“Erasing the UG wouldn’t destroy Shibuya,” says Yuuto. “Just the UnderGround, and a shiny new one would grow back. Erasing the UG, however, would Erase the Composer. If the Composer is Erased with no one there to take his spot, no Conductor or person who beat them, then the UG collapses.”

Neku freezes, the guitar strings of his Music snapping as he whips his head toward Yuuto. For a second, he thinks Neku’s caught on, he’s been caught, but… “Oh my god. Did he want to die?”

“I can’t answer that. You did say he seemed depressed, though.” Yuuto doesn’t look up, grabbing a safety pin off his clothes to pick at his nails with.

Of course Neku hadn’t caught him. He shouldn’t even want that. And yet, the idea of Neku piecing together the puzzle fills him with a soft fuzz, warm because it’d mean Neku knew him well enough to see through his disguise.

Maybe if he had all his memories…

But that’s an impossibility.

“Still… I trust him, he and I were Partners. We had a bond.” Neku waves a hand in the air. “The least he could do is meet up with me, because I want an explanation, he owes me one. But no! It’s been two years, and he’s nowhere to be found!”

Silence falls, until: “Maybe he can’t?” Rhyme asks.

Neku’s head snaps to look at them, eyebrows furrowed. “What?”

“Maybe… What if there’s rules you don’t know about, and he’s not allowed to see you?” they explain.

Joshua would hug them, if he could, but alas, it would be weird if he did that now, as Yuuto. He’ll send them a thank-you text tonight.

“If there’s a rule against visiting me but not one against shooting me then the rules are messed up. And if there is one, then he’s a hypocrite.”

Yuuto snorts, rolling his eyes. “Fair enough.”

“He still deserves to get punched in the fucking face,” Shiki says. “If I see him, I’ll chuck something at him for you.”

Neku laughs, and oh, no matter how much he gets to hear that nowadays, it still sends a buzz of energy through his stomach. Like being zapped by a lightning bolt psych.

“Well, if you get the chance, go right ahead, but make sure to tell him to stop being a coward, too.”

White light cascades from the rooftop of 104, obscured by the sun. He sits, legs dangling over the edge.

Rhyme climbs the stairs, and pops the door open.

Joshua doesn’t move. His edges are blurred, ink smeared and blended, and they can’t tell where he ends and Shibuya begins. Not RG, maybe not even UG, a frequency buzzing in the back of their head that sends static stabs through their skull.

They shove it to the side, and plop down by him. “So, sitting on the roof, huh? Wistfully staring out at the city?”

He snorts. “You know how it is: doubting life, and death, choices, being the emo seventeen-year-old you never got to be in life. Having a vague existential and moral crisis.”

“Is this… About what Neku said yesterday?”

“He’s right,” Joshua says, light surrounding him starting to dim. The harsh glow fades, and Rhyme can feel him slide down the vibes, into the RG. “I am a hypocrite. He deserves better.”

They headbutt him, leaning against his side. For all that Josh proclaims to be cold and dead, the warmth emanating from him is full of life. Maybe it’s fake, meant to comfort, or habit so he doesn’t alarm any of the group with clammy skin claimed by the grave, but they think it helps his mental state, too.

“He doesn’t want better though, he wants you. Tell me your side of the story.”

He sighs and flops onto his back, staring up at the sky. “He was meant to be my replacement. I wanted to be gone. I’d messed up bad, and he was so much like me, in so much pain, that I thought the Game could make him better, and he could free me from my misery.”

Looking down, the distance to the ground is far, the people below flowing like rivers, intermingling and dispersing. Individuals are lost to the crowd. “There’s more, isn’t there? You fixated on Neku for this, instead of anyone else.”

“Neku deserves to be the first to learn about that reason. Sorry, but it wouldn’t be fair.”

They nod, and swing their feet.

“You shouldn’t be so close to the edge, you know,” he says, and they laugh.

Pulling their legs up, they flop around so their head dangles instead, hair blowing in the wind. “If I fall, you will most certainly catch me.”

A rustle is the only sign they get that he moves, until he sits right on their feet. “And now you won’t fall at all. Beat would skin me if he knew I let you do this.”

“Nah, Neku and I wouldn’t let him.”

“So,” says Shiki, “you like him, don’t you?”

It would be useless to flail his limbs, sputter and deny her words, so instead, Yuuto sighs and nods. “What gave me away?”

She laughs, rolling her eyes. “You’re pining, it’s obvious to anyone with eyes. You sprawl yourself over him whenever he gives you permission, like a cat seeking affection. You’re always staring at him when he isn’t looking!”

A cat seeking affection, he snorts. “I’m just a big, cuddly snow leopard. I’m touchy-feely with all of you, how is it different with him?”

“Even on your bad days, you lean against him. You don’t let anyone else touch you, but he’s always allowed,” she says.

“I guess,” he shrugs, tapping his pencil against the paper in front of him.

Since becoming friends with everyone, his apartment had become lived in. Trinkets and gifts from the past year fill the space. Shiki has given him some plushies, and pillows with pretty designs rest on the couch where she sits. Eri’s gifts are clothes picked from the rack, if it’s not a joint-gift from her and Shiki in the form of clothes they’ve made.

Beat has taken to cooking, and Yuuto keeps his kitchen stocked. In return, he gets good food and a skateboard resting in the entryway closet. Rhyme gives stim toys, from the reversible-sequin snap bracelet to the rainbow tangle.

As for Neku… Art hangs on the once-barren walls. A landscape of Shibuya in watercolor hangs behind the couch, and a portrait of the entire gang is framed and placed near the entrance.

Papers and pencils are scattered everywhere. Neku keeps a case of art supplies here. Everyone has small projects that have taken up residency, and Shiki is working on one of them now. Stitching a snow leopard into existence.

“The thing you’re working on, it’s for Neku, isn’t it?” Shiki asks, breaking the silence.

He nods. “I’m composing. I’ve got most of it down, in fact it’s pretty much finished, but I’m worried… Will he like it?”

She looks over at him, a quick glance before her eyes dart away again. “What? Are you gonna serenade him or something?”

“Yes, actually, I am,” he says, tossing the paper to the side and himself to the floor. It’s pointless to sit on the chair when it impedes his creative flow. “But it’s so impossible to know if he’ll appreciate it. If he’ll understand my reasoning. I don’t even know if I want him to know yet!” he moans, rolling onto his side.

“Then play for me,” she says, like it’s the most simple conclusion in the world. “I can tell you if he’ll like it, at least.”

Yuuto perks up. “You’d be cool with that?” When she nods, he jumps, dashing to his room to retrieve the violin.

She doesn’t see it appear from thin air in his hands, doesn’t see his form flicker ever so slightly. He comes back looking like Yuuto as always.

“Serenade me, music boy.” She stabs the animal in her hand with the needle again, something to fiddle with so she can enjoy the music more, no doubt.

A laugh. He sets up the stand for his music, and positions the violin. “Now, ideally, this is somewhere like, WildKat, and I’m wearing one of your super fancy suits, but we can discuss that later.”

Yuuto raises the bow, and lets the magic happen.

Fast-paced, running through Shibuya streets with the beat, weaving through crowds and ducking into back alleys. It starts soft, then crescendos. He closes his eyes, letting the high notes weave together with the low.

The pulse matches time with the heartbeat of the city, spray paint graffiti hits the wall. The echo of a drum plays through his tune, noticed by its absence. A solo player is not a quartet, is not a band, and he does not have techno parts to add for a violin solo, but he lets the music do the talking.

Imagination weaves through the notes, calling forth the memory of other instruments, adding the illusion of more than there is.

Yuuto steps in time, sways, pacing a fluid circle to match his song. Not his song. Neku’s song, Neku’s Music. Music warped and persuaded into playing on a single violin, playing over the strings to describe him.

Magic is kept to a minimum, he doesn’t call forth the actual sounds, or implant them as more than elusive notes, but it’s impossible to give off the feel he wants without it. Impossible to transcribe the flashes of orange and piercing blue, the splash of color he brings everywhere, the conflicting notes and discord of life.

Joshua does his best, but there’s only so much he can do without dropping his disguise.

The final note draws out as the song comes to a close. The real one plays on elsewhere in the city, but he cannot play his violin all day.

Opening his eyes, he looks to Shiki, finding her staring on with awestruck wide eyes, and a jaw dropped far enough to catch flies. The snow leopard in her lap left abandoned.

He bows with a flourish, before setting his instrument down.

“So, think he’ll like it?” Yuuto asks with a grin that wavers like the final note.

“If he doesn’t fall head-over-heels for you after hearing that, you’re shit outta luck my dude.”

She stays unnoticed, trailing behind Yuuto after the weekly meetup. Shiki doesn’t want to suspect a friend, but he’s suspicious, plain and simple.

Yuuto doesn’t make it to every meeting, which she can understand, but it’s a regular occurrence every few weeks. He’s had lunch with a Reaper, chatting like old friends. He knows too much about the Game, more than any of the Players should know, more than Neku ever learned.

WildKat is the destination, and she hangs back to watch through the windows as Yuuto enters. Standing in the shadow of a nearby building, staying out of sight, she expects to find some shady business going down.

Shiki doesn’t expect him to have a fucking magical girl transformation.

Bathed in a glow of light, his features blur, glaring against the window. As it fades, black hair grows and turns white, his body shrinks, and the glasses he wears are removed. His skin goes pale, and–

She’s seen him before.

She doesn’t need to see the violet eyes or the smirk to know that frame. He’s talking to Mr. Hanekoma, facing away, but the picture rings clear in her brain.

Neku has filled pages upon pages of his sketchbook with that person. She’s seen him in the ink staining paper while he vents far too often.

The bell chimes above her head, and she’s faced with Yuuto again. The last vestiges of creamy light fading from view, dismissed as aftereffects of being in the sun if she didn’t know any better.

“Hey, Shiki, what are you doing here–”

The steel in her eyes leaves no room for him to finish that sentence as she marches over to him, her voice a snake’s hiss. “You have ten seconds to explain to me what the fuck I just saw, starting now.”

He slides off the stool, taking a step back from her pointed finger. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He laughs, rubbing his neck.

“Try again. You changed. I saw that. I saw who. Six seconds.”

Yuuto scrambles, holding his hands in the air as he retreats, back to the window. “Okay, okay. It’s. Shit, it’s complicated. Give me a moment.”

She holds up five fingers. In the silence, she ticks it down to four.

“I can’t, okay? I can’t. There’s… A lot. Where do I start?”

“Start with why the fuck you’re hiding your identity from all of us!” He’s down to three fingers now, and as Mr. Hanekoma slips out of the room, she takes note of the steaming cup of coffee on the counter.

“Well,” two fingers. “I wasn’t hiding it from all of you. Rhyme figured it out in a month.” He takes another step back. “I just… I can’t tell Neku who I am, okay?”

“So you’re a liar, then?” One.

“No! Well, yes. It’s complicated, give me some time to–”

Gravel escapes her throat as she huffs, grabbing the cup and throwing it.

The scalding coffee never reaches its target, suspended in midair, lid popped off as some splashes over the edge.

Yuuto’s eyes glow violet.

The glow washes over the rest of his body, and vanishes when he blinks.

Joshua stands in front of her. Coffee hangs between them. His hand is still outstretched.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t walk over there and punch you. Or take a picture and tell Neku.” Her voice is flat, buried deep in the anger boiling in her stomach.

“You can’t tell Neku. If he knows, Yuuto will have to leave without a goodbye,” Joshua says, waving his hand so the coffee settles on the table. “I’d hate to do that to him, but you’d give me no choice.”

“You coward,” she spits, acid burning her tongue. “You’d do that to him? What, can’t face the truth? Can’t face his judgement of you?”

It burns. Fire burns in her, eating away at her stomach as the fumes leave her mouth. She’s biting back the flame, for now.

“It’s beyond my control! Give me a chance to explain, please!” His voice cracks, wavers like a pane of glass balanced on its edge.

“Explain what? How you’re lying to us? How you’re trying to manipulate me, so I don’t tattle? How do you explain shooting someone in the face? How do you fucking explain what you’ve done to Neku? What you’re doing,” she flings her arms wide, “to him!”

Reality splinters.

Time tips on its axis. Cracks run through her body, she vibrates a pitch just out of reach, on a different frequency. Static leaks into the air, humid and heavy. She’s frozen, an ancient crumbling statue ready to collapse, unable to hold back the torrent of power coursing through her.

It wants to escape. She gives it a channel.

Mr. Mew launches himself from her purse at Joshua, who scrambles back, collapsing on a chair as he tries to get away from the stuffed cat. Curses fly from his mouth as the echo of light flies from his fingertips, trying to bat the cat away.

All it takes is one hit and Mr. Mew stills, dropping to the floor like his strings were cut. Shiki stares.

She’d done that. She had made Mr. Mew move in the RG. She’d used a Psych.

Joshua is staring at her, she’s staring at the plushie. Her anger stewing in her stomach is stirred by confusion, cooling for a second to digest this.

Joshua stands, inching closer, but not too close. “You’ve still got your power, but don’t worry. You’re firmly RG right now, WildKat is on a thinner part of the boundary between the planes, and nobody in this group of friends has been left untouched by the UG.” Hesitance is scrawled on his face, and his hands bounce, fingers tapping at his leg.

While it helps her to know she hasn’t flipped to the UG, this draws her attention back to him, and she pierces him with an icy glare. “Don’t test your luck by trying to change the subject. Tell me what you’re trying to accomplish. Or I’ll try doing that again.”

“I want to be friends, is that too much to imagine?” he asks.

“After everything you’ve done? Yes! You’re playing at some kind of game here, and I don’t trust it. I don’t trust you.” She steps forward and picks up Mr. Mew, so he doesn’t go flying off again. She’s ready for some retort, some proof, or a laugh.

She doesn’t expect him to go blank. To shut down. He closes his eyes, and they stay closed for a few seconds. Arms go slack, mouth drops into neutrality.

When he opens his eyes, she takes a step back, because they’re dead.

Yuuto is known for his energy, his laugh, the glint of mischief in his eyes. He doesn’t sit still, he can’t. It only happens when he hits a slump.

Joshua very much resembles that rare Yuuto, cold and tired. Dull violet eyes meet hers for one second, before he glances away. HIs voice has slipped into a monotone as he says, “If that is what you believe, then there is no point in me saying anything right now. If you choose to listen to one thing I have said, let it be the fact that if you tell him, he will lose a friend.”

She must blink, because one second he’s there, and the next he’s gone.

Shiki: ^Rhyme listen trust me.^

^I need you to kick Yuuto from the group.^

^He’s trash we don’t need him around but you’re the one with admin powers in the game chat.^

Rhyme: ^Oh did you find out too?^

Shiki: ^Wait what?^

^You actually know?^

Rhyme: ^Of course. If he told you I do, then yeah, I do.^

Shiki: ^And you’re just???? Letting him stick around? You haven’t said anything!?^

Rhyme: ^I’ve always been able to tell.^

^I still have residual instincts from when I was a Noise.^

^I sensed something off about Neku’s second week Partner when I was Noise, and I remembered that. It felt the same around the Composer. And Yuuto. I put it together and he told me what was up.^

^He can’t mention the whys directly, so he dances around the subject until you figure it out. Hints and clues because I don’t think he’s allowed to say it or anything.^

Shiki: ^He’s been lying to us for a year now! And you heard from Neku what he did!^

Rhyme: ^I’ve gotten to watch him as both Yuuto and Joshua for a year now, though.^

^He’s the same person, always. A different face, a different name, but he’s got the same personality. Just, as Josh, he’s more open and honest.^

^I trust him. He’s helped me work through some of the residual Noise stuff, and he wishes he could tell Neku, tell everyone.^

Shiki: ^Then why DOESN’T he? Why not tell us all? He could’ve told me and Beat way earlier!^

Rhyme: ^The more people who know, the more likely someone will slip up and reveal it to Neku.^

^And besides, he plans on telling everyone after he tells Neku. Once he’s allowed, he will. I’ve seen how it’s eating at him, he wants to, but he can’t right now.^

^So no, I won’t remove him from the group. I don’t think he has many people he can befriend, and we’re some of the few he does. I’m not going to take that away from him. Besides, we’d have to explain it to the others, somehow, and I don’t want to reveal the truth and force him away.^

#TWEWY #The World Ends With You #World Ends With You #Subarashiki Kono Sekai #TWEWY Bang 2018 #submission

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ununniliad · 5 years

Text

Contest of the Blades: Breathless Sky vs. Unbridled Passion

I based this story off of two concepts a friend came up with for Legendary Magical Swords:

Breathless Sky

'May nothing contain you, and may your reach be boundless'

Drawing this sword is to be released from bondage. All doors are unlocked and windows unshuttered and open. Bindings slither off of you and knots are untied-freeing others from such is as simple as waving your blade in their direction. Leaping releases you from even the reach of the earth, letting you soar through the sky as nimble as a feather and race across water. The only drawback of this blade is that it frees you of all it considers binding and restrictive-armor will unbuckle and fall free, and wielders wear little more than the sacred garments of the order.

Unbridled Passion

'Give into your desires. Throw yourself bodily into your needs, and let them consume you.'

A sword of lust and power. To draw Unbridled Passion is to give into the darkest parts that motivate you-becoming as though a creature of the night, clad in its shadows, skin paling as you join the ranks of the beasts of the night. A sword of bloodlust, of becoming something more than human, to be supernatural all in the drive of fulfilling your basest desires and your darkest needs.

(They still consider these incomplete, and came up with a number of others as well. I like 'em, tho~)

[Content warning: Someone talking in a pretty rapey way, and also swordviolence.]

The forest by the hill had stood for an age, and now it was burning.

Now there was a great rough swath, cut through, the stumps sliced not by axes or saws but by an unbreakable blade. Now the trunks were gathered in the center, pushed into a great pile by inhuman strength. Now they were lit, and the pile became a bonfire, a great, leaping flame, burning in the night, an angry red eye whose light challenged the full moon.

A figure stood before the flames, waiting for the signal to reach its audience. A man - well, he had been. Though the fire leapt high behind him, though the moonlight shone down, the shadows around his face did not waver, masking him but for reflections of flame in his eyes. His pale, clawed hand held the grip of a blade. His blade. The burning blade, the senseless blade, the gorging, devouring blade. The blazing darkness, the striking night, the metal bloodlust - the Unbridled Passion!

A figure appeared atop the hill. Her body was wrapped in diaphanous ribbons of sky-blue cloth, fluttering gently around her, unseen zephyrs breezing past her form. She looked up at the moon, and her eyes sparkled in its light; she looked down at the blaze, and they were dark and large. Her face was free of tension, betraying only a patience, a waiting, a watching. Long dark hair flowed behind her in a restless river, and in her hand, the grip of a blade rested easily. A blade of release, of freedom, of open space and running free. A shimmering, silvery curve, light racing across it like a river and cutting across the lines of fate. The breath's escape, the space's length, the line of the horizon - the Breathless Sky!

He gazed upon her, at last. Somewhere under the shadows, his mouth curled in a grin, fangs shining red in the reflection of the flickering flames.

"And now you come to me. The wielder of the blade of freedom-- come for her freedom to end!" He tossed back his head, his laughter harsh and shrieking. "Tonight, a power - irresistible, beyond will, beyond restraint - shall take you! I shall take you - to be bridled by the endless lusts!"

She looked down the slope at him. "Ah? Is that so?" Questioning - curious.

He snorted in derision. "That is all you have to say? Not so dynamic as the tales told! Not such a shooting star, not such an unbeatable force!" He thumped his fist on his chest. "I am the unbeatable force! I break down walls! I devastate those who resist me! I burn them to ashes!" He threw his arms wide, willing her to face him! "My lusts are stoked into an endless blaze, burning like the core of the earth! They will burst out over you, leaving your power an ashen ruin, and you will kneel before me!"

She nodded, and a small, easy smile revealed itself. She walked down the hill, towards him. Not a dramatic leap, throwing herself into the battle as he did; a ramble of gentle, unhurried pace. "I understand."

"You... good! It is well that you've accepted your fate!" But the curling darkness within him curled a little closer, and he wondered why.

"No, I just understand." Her sword was relaxed, at her side, gentle breezes blowing the ribbons wrapped 'round her wrist. "You have forgotten, or perhaps never knew. You are not the only one with lusts. Every one of us was born with them."

"Hah! Not like mine! Not like this blazing fury!" The pride and desire blazed up within him, and he shook and grinned and howled.

"For example, myself." She spoke as if he had not interrupted, pace unbroken, moving towards him step by step. "When I was young, I had a sun in my head. A burning core of need, pulling me this way, that way, driving me to distraction, making me helpless in my own head. Yet even in this, I was able to learn to lock those needs, those helpless lusts, away. To keep others safe - to keep myself safe."

"Pathetic!" Now he strode towards her, sword out, ready to face her, claim her. Hah! What had that nameless fear been of? Nothing! A legend with no reality! "I have taken my desires and made a self of them - a limitless, burning being!"

She nodded as she drew close, as the moonlight reflected off Breathless Sky. "To each their own. My self developed with these needs, these desires, as a burbling underground sea. They were locked away, yet they still pushed and pulled. As I grew, the locks grew, heavier, steelier, trying to lock away every hint of their power. I grew, in skill and understanding; but I forgot what it was I wanted to control, and knew only the wall, the experience of entrapment by bindings of my own design."

"Hah! Then this experience will be familiar!" He felt the blood coursing, felt the dizzying array of strikes he would unleash. A few more steps... "Prepare to be trapped! Prepare to be taken!"

And charged and he struck! A burst of burning power! Unstoppable! Undeniable! The unlimited power of desire! Unbridled Passion!

And a whisper of silver rose and her body spun and his power slid and turned and he stumbled and she struck out and he barely dodged and they locked swords, and she was looking right into his eyes, and in his belly the fires twisted as he saw what was in her. Passion. Power. Lust.

"As I said." With a thrust she separated them, a thrust that would have found home in his guts if he had not spun with rocketing speed. "That was what I was. And then I touched this blade, and I was free."

And he stepped back, and back - somehow, his burning, inevitable, unstoppable power - was on the defensive!!

"My locks undone." She slashed. "My fetters unchained." She stabbed. "It was overwhelming, burning, blinding. I had a sun in my head, and I was staring into it."

She could be overwhelmed! He reached down within himself, to the deeper fires, the wild, bestial strength. Wordlessly, he roared, and charged at her!

She swung nimbly out of his powerful, reckless blows. "But I remembered. Breathless Sky freed from my locks, but I remembered their design." He could feel the tip of her blade slicing at the shadows. "And I had grown. I knew what I was, and what I wanted to be. And I was free."

He panted, and shook his head. "Freedom... you know not of the freedom I've tasted! Of giving in to everything, every moment, ceaselessly, heedlessly!"

"That is true. For the first lust I gave into was the lust to build." She leapt at him, and again he was on the defensive. "To build myself, greater, stronger, into the being I knew I could be. I reshaped the locks into funnels, channels, taking my lusts and making them part of what I was." Each sentence was punctuated by a powerful strike, narrowing the space around him with a dervish of metal. "My lust to love. My lust to be loved. My lust to share joy! My lust to multiply it a thousandfold!"

"Doesn't--" He stumbled back. "Doesn't count! Fake! Weak!"

"My lust to bring peace! To bring connection! To bring good times!" Breathless Sky was a whir of steel, a shining, shimmering cyclone, eye closing moment by moment. "To share this endless energy of desire - to have it leap and glide from person to person, whirling around and around and around the community, until strength is multiplied upon strength, happiness upon happiness!"

He panted, trapped, trapped in dodging, blocking, parrying, without the breath to spit back. He could-- if only--

"And I know one who could use your blade. To give in, to be filled with lust, would make her truly happy." She smiled wide, a happy smile, content, satisfied. "Thank you for calling me."

His back was against the flames and the blade was everywhere and he was trapped, and he howled his defiance and he howled his fear and his rage.

And she struck.

And he fell.

The flames dwindled, burning quickly through their sparse fuel, and guttered, and died.

Breathless Sky was cleaned, and sheathed. The wielder knelt, before the one who had once wielded Unbridled Passion.

"Thank you for allowing me to sate this lust."

[If you’d like, you can visit me on Patreon over here~]

#Original Fiction #Fantasy #SWORDS #rape threat tw

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garywonghc · 6 years

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Real Happiness

by Sharon Salzberg

Meditation is essentially a way to train our attention so we can be more aware of both our inner workings and what’s happening around us. It’s straightforward and simple, but it isn’t easy.

People have been transforming their minds through meditation for thousands of years. Every major world religion includes some form of contemplative exercise, though today meditation is often practised apart from any belief system. Meditation may be done in silence and stillness, by using voice and sound, or by engaging the body in movement. All forms emphasise the training of attention.

“My experience is what I agree to attend to,” the pioneering psychologist William James wrote at the turn of the twentieth century. “Only those items I notice shape my mind.” At its most basic level, attention — what we allow ourselves to notice — literally determines how we experience and navigate the world. The ability to summon and sustain attention is what allows us to job hunt, juggle, learn math, make pancakes, aim a cue and pocket the eight ball, protect our kids, and perform surgery. It lets us be discerning in our dealings with the world, responsive in our intimate relationships, and honest when we examine our own feelings and motives. Attention determines our degree of intimacy with our ordinary experiences and contours our entire sense of connection to life.

The content and quality of our lives depend on our level of awareness — a fact we are often not aware of. There’s an old story, usually attributed to a Native American elder, that’s meant to illuminate the power of attention. A grandfather imparting a life lesson to his grandson tells him, “I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is vengeful, fearful, envious, resentful, deceitful. The other wolf is loving, compassionate, generous, truthful, and serene.” The grandson asks which wolf will win the fight. The grandfather answers, “The one I feed.”

But that’s only part of the picture. True, whatever gets our attention flourishes, so if we lavish attention on the negative and inconsequential, they can overwhelm the positive and the meaningful. But if we do the opposite, refusing to deal with or acknowledge what’s difficult and painful, pretending it doesn’t exist, then our world is out of whack. Whatever doesn’t get our attention withers — or retreats below conscious awareness, where it may still affect our lives. In a perverse way, ignoring the painful and the difficult is just another way of feeding the wolf. Meditation teaches us to open our attention to all of human experience and all parts of ourselves.

Meditation is pragmatic, the psychological and emotional equivalent of a physical training program: If you exercise regularly, you get certain results — stronger muscles, denser bones, increased stamina. If you meditate regularly, you also get certain results, including greater calm, and improved concentration and more connection to others. But there are other rewards.

You’ll begin to spot the unexamined assumptions that get in the way of happiness.

These assumptions we make about who we are and the way the world works — what we deserve, how much we can handle, where happiness is to be found, whether or not positive change is possible — all greatly influence how and to what we pay attention.

I was reminded of how assumptions can get in our way when I visited the National Portrait Gallery in Washington, D.C., to view a work of art by a sculptor friend. Eagerly I checked every room, peered at every display case and pedestal — no sculpture. Finally I gave up. As I headed for the exit, I glanced up — and there was her beautiful piece. It was a bas-relief hanging on the wall, not the freestanding statue I’d expected; my assumptions had put blinders on me and almost robbed me of the experience of seeing what was really there — her amazing work. In the same way, our assumptions keep us from appreciating what’s right in front of us — a stranger who’s a potential friend, a perceived adversary who might actually be a source of help. Assumptions block direct experience and prevent us from gathering information that could bring us comfort and relief, or information that, though saddening and painful, will allow us to make better decisions.

Here are some familiar assumptions you might recognise: We have nothing in common. I won’t be able to do it. You can’t reason with a person like that. Tomorrow will be exactly like today. If I just try hard enough, I’ll manage to control him/her/it/them. Only big risks can make me feel alive. I’ve blown it; I should just give up. I know just what she’s going to say, so I don’t really need to listen to her. Happiness is for other people, not me. Statements like these are motivated by fear, desire, boredom, or ignorance. Assumptions bind us to the past, obscure the present, limit our sense of what’s possible, and elbow out joy. Until we detect and examine our assumptions, they short-circuit our ability to observe objectively; we think we already know what’s what.

You’ll stop limiting yourself. When we practice meditation, we often begin to recognise a specific sort of conditioned response — previously undetected restrictions we’ve imposed on our lives. We spot the ways we sabotage our own growth and success because we’ve been conditioned to be content with meagre results. Meditation allows us to see that these limits aren’t inherent or immutable; they were learned and they can be unlearned — but not until we recognise them. (Some common limiting ideas: She’s the smart one, you’re the pretty one. People like us don’t stand a chance. Kids from this neighbourhood don’t become doctors.) Training attention through meditation opens our eyes. Then we can assess these conditioned responses — and if parts of them contain some truth, we can see it clearly and put it to good use; if parts of them just don’t hold up under scrutiny, we can let them go.

You’ll weather hard times better. Meditation teaches us safe ways to open ourselves to the full range of experience — painful, pleasurable, and neutral — so we can learn how to be a friend to ourselves in good times and bad. During meditation sessions we practice being with difficult emotions and thoughts, even frightening or intense ones, in an open and accepting way, without adding self-criticism to something that already hurts. Especially in times of uncertainty or pain, meditation broadens our perspective and deepens our sense of courage and capacity for adventure. Here’s how you get braver: little by little. In small, manageable, bearable increments, we make friends with the feelings that once terrified us. Then we can say to ourselves, I’ve managed to sit down, face some of my most despairing thoughts and my most exuberantly hopeful ones without judging them. That took strength; what else can I tackle with that same strength? Meditation lets us see that we can accomplish things we didn’t think ourselves capable of.

You’ll rediscover a deeper sense of what’s really important to you. Once you look beneath distractions and conditioned reactions, you’ll have a clearer view of your deepest, most enduring dreams, goals, and values.

You’ll have a portable emergency resource. Meditation is the ultimate mobile device; you can use it anywhere, anytime, unobtrusively. You’re likely to find yourself in situations — having a heated argument at work, say, or chauffeuring a crowd of rambunctious kids to a soccer game — when you can’t blow off steam by walking around the block, hitting the gym, or taking a time-out in the tub. But you can always follow your breath.

You’ll be in closer touch with the best parts of yourself. Meditation practice cultivates qualities such as kindness, trust, and wisdom that you may think are missing from your makeup but are actually undeveloped or obscured by stress and distractions. Meditation practice gives us the chance to locate these qualities so we can access them more easily and frequently.

You’ll recapture the energy you’ve been wasting trying to control the uncontrollable. I once led a retreat in California during a monsoon like rainstorm. It’s so soggy and unpleasant that people aren’t going to have a good retreat, I thought. I felt bad for the participants; in fact, I felt responsible. For a few days I wanted to apologise to everybody for the rain until a thought flickered: Wait a minute. I’m not even from California; I’m from Massachusetts. This isn’t my weather. This is their weather. Maybe they should apologise to me! And then the voice of deeper wisdom arose: Weather is weather. This is what happens.

We’ve all had weather moments — times when we’ve felt responsible for everyone’s good time or well-being. It’s our job, we think, to fix the temperature and humidity, or the people around us (if we could only get our partner to quit smoking, consult a map, stick to a diet). We even think we’re capable of totally controlling our own emotions — I shouldn’t ever feel envious, or resentful, or spiteful! That’s awful! I’m going to stop. You might as well say, “I’m never going to catch a cold again!” Though we can affect our physical and emotional experiences, we can’t ultimately determine them; we can’t decree what emotions will arise within us. But we can learn through meditation to change our responses to them. That way we’re spared a trip down a path of suffering we’ve travelled many times before. Recognising what we can’t control (the feelings that arise within us; other people; the weather) helps us have healthier boundaries at work and at home — no more trying to reform everyone all the time. It helps us to stop beating up on ourselves for having perfectly human emotions. It frees energy we expend on trying to control the uncontrollable.

You’ll understand how to relate to change better — to accept that it’s inevitable and believe that it’s possible. Most of us have a mixed, often paradoxical attitude toward change. Some of us don’t think change is possible at all; we believe we’re stuck forever doing things the way we’ve always done them. Some of us simultaneously hope for change and fear it. We want to believe that change is possible, because that means that our lives can get better. But we also have trouble accepting change, because we want to hold on permanently to what’s pleasurable and positive. We’d like difficulties to be fleeting and comfort to stick around.

Trying to avoid change is exhausting and stressful. Everything is impermanent: happiness, sorrow, a great meal, a powerful empire, what we’re feeling, the people around us, ourselves. Meditation helps us comprehend this fact — perhaps the basic truth of human existence, and the one we humans are most likely to balk at or be oblivious to, especially when it comes to the biggest change of all: Mortality happens, whether we like it or not. We grow old and die. (In the ancient Indian epic, the Mahabharata, a wise king is asked to name the most wondrous thing in the universe. “The most wondrous thing in the entire universe,” he says, “is that all around us people are dying and we don’t believe it will happen to us.”) Meditation is a tool for helping us accept the profound fact that everything changes all the time.

Meditating offers a chance to see change in microcosm. Following our breath while observing how thoughts continually ebb and flow can help us realise that all elements of our experience are in constant flux. During a meditation session, it’s natural to go through many ups and downs, to encounter both new delights and newly awakened conflicts that have bubbled up from the unconscious mind. Sometimes you tap into a wellspring of peace. Other times you might feel waves of sleepiness, boredom, anxiety, anger, or sadness. Snatches of old songs may play in your head; long-buried memories can surface. You may feel wonderful or awful. Daily meditation will remind us that if we look closely at a painful emotion or difficult situation, it’s bound to change; it’s not as solid and unmanageable as it might have seemed. The fear we feel in the morning may be gone by the afternoon. Hopelessness may be replaced by a glimmer of optimism. Even while a challenging situation is unfolding, it is shifting from moment to moment, varied, alive. What happens during meditation shows us that we’re not trapped, that we have options. Then, even if we’re afraid, we can find a way to go on, to keep trying.

This is not a Pollyanna sentiment that everything will be just fine, according to our wishes or our timetable. Rather it is an awakened understanding that gives us the courage to go into the unknown and the wisdom to remember that as long as we are alive, possibility is alive. We can’t control what thoughts and emotions arise within us, nor can we control the universal truth that everything changes. But we can learn to step back and rest in the awareness of what’s happening. That awareness can be our refuge.

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