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mists-reading-nook · 1 year

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Creator!Reader who has religious trauma!

780 words (maybe I'll make another part that's longer)

Tw: Religious Trauma,Worship,It's basically a cult,they do not respect you,mention of being constantly watched.

You were shaking again. Sitting in a balcony pew in a church built in your honor,Your acolytes sitting with you. You could feel it all coming back. You hated it,but you couldn't leave this time. You couldn't just get up and leave. You couldn't ignore the pastors words about you. Your breathing was getting shallower. When had the air gotten so thick? You couldn't breathe,you needed to breathe. Your ears rung,a high pitched sound you couldn't make go away.

Aether and Lumine are the first to notice your distress. Aether looks worried. "Your grace,is the sermon not to your liking?" He asks,ready to stop the sermon at a moment's notice. You shake your head. You can't speak. Not now. Your tongue feels heavy,like cotton in your mouth.

Zhongli is next. "Your grace,if it's not to your liking,we can change it." You finally find your voice. You know leaving will disappoint everyone,that it will cause a lot of drama,but you can't stay another second.

"I wish to go home Zhongli." He nods,and you stand up. Everyone in the church turns to look at you,looking to see your next movements,but you simply look at the floor and turn around,walking out of the balcony and out of the church,taking a deep,shaky breath when you are finally outside. You're out. You're safe.

"Your Grace,are you ok? Was the sermon not to your liking?" Zhongli's voice snaps you out of your trance,and you see that there are no prying eyes. It's only you and your attending acolytes. You feel the tears start to fall,and you let yourself sob,ignoring the worried looks your acolytes send each other. No matter how long ago it was,no matter if you lived in Tevyat or Earth,you couldn't shake the way anxiety seized your heart,the way your body began to shake. The way you became so scared. You hated all this creator nonsense,it just reminded you of the one who caused so you much pain. Reminded you that you were just like them. That you were no better than them.

The way your acolytes worshiped your every move,the way the ground ached for your touch. It scared you so much. You feared the pain,the hurt,the suffering of those who followed "your" doctrine. Most people would love to be a God. Not you. For you it only reminded you of the pain you had to deal with. How many had died because they looked like you? How many young children had to hide themselves because they had the same hair or the same eyes? How many had been killed? How many lives had been lost simply because of something as simple as hair color?

You were "home" now. It'd been months since you were found to be the true creator,but you'd never truly feel like this was "home". Not when those you once saw as equals kneeled and grovelled at your feet. Not when the title of "god" was forced upon you. You had tried to explain,but your "darling" followers had taken it as a sign to worship more. To atone for the sin of making you feel inadequate. That's what Zhongli had said. When you told him he weeded. He thought that you were uncomfortable because of what they had done to you. You remember that conversation. It had only been a couple hours ago,yet it felt like it had been years.

"...And that's why I don't want to be treated like a God. I hope you understand." You said,looking at your knees as you sat across from Zhongli,who looked very calm.

"Of course your grace,I understand. We shall double our worship." Your eyes widened. That wasn't what you wanted!

"Zhongli no,that's not what I meant-" Zhongli cut you off,voice sounding sad as he began to kneel at your feet.

"We will never make you feel inadequate to be our God ever again your excellency. You have my word." You just nodded,holding back the tears that threatened to flow. Your mind screeched. 'NO NO NO,THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT…' but you didn't speak. You couldn't find the words.

It hurt remembering that. Knowing that you would never be truly understood. That you would always be *

watched,trapped. Even now,you were stuck inside your room,with an acolyte watching outside your door. You were a 'God',yet you couldn't control your own followers. How silly. You hated this. Hated that you were surrounded by people yet had no friends,hated the way your body would shake like a leaf in the wind whenever you were reminded of your 'Godly' status. Hated that you couldn't ignore this treatment. Hated how you had Nightmares of being hunted,hated how you flinched whenever someone tried to touch you. Hated how you could barely remember your own name. Hated how you couldn't remember what your friends looked like,what your family looked like. Hated how your memories of your old life slipped through your fingers like sand. You hated it all.

Oh how you wished you weren't a God.

#genshin cult au #sagau brainrot #sagau cult au #genshin sagau #yandere genshin sagau #genshin impact sagau #sagau #genshin impact #genshin impact cult au

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onewholivesinloops · 11 months

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i can't overstate how important it is that st. lucia as a christian all girls school is straight up the kind of institution that is meant to create 'future wives and mothers'. st. lucia's tone is left up to subtext in the anime, but many religious all girls schools have traditionally leaned towards this intent, and this subtext is even made explicit in the gacha mobile game in the st. lucia event (and as much as i side eye it for all the weird fanservice and on principle because it's...gacha, whoever wrote this particular event had legitimate love and was truly cooking).

anyway st. lucia is the sort of place that teaches you how to be book smart, but also how to be docile and proper as a woman - all values satoko has spent her entire life rejecting.

it's the institutional misogyny perpetuated by the academy that leads young women to reject anyone who fails to live up to this standard, which plays into satoko's ostracization there because satoko still acts in a way which is considered more childish, more uncouth. her way of behaving is more tomboyish, despite calling her way of speaking more "lady-like" (satoko speaks like a well-to-do-rich-girl and she uses keigo but in a very clumsy and sometimes incorrect way so it comes off as someone trying to sound upper class but not really being that convincing because she's trying to overcompensate for years of ostracization in hinamizawa and is putting on airs which the actual rich girls at st. lucia immediately catch on to!).

satoko is unbecoming in every sense of the word, as she refuses to mold herself to fit the school's teachings.

this struggle is also nothing new for satoko because she's always had the expectation of being more docile, more proper, and more accepting growing up, but she's always had an aversion to heterosexual marriage and the nuclear family as a child. satoko has always refused the expectations that come with being a young girl, and nuclear family expectations were a huge part of what ruined her childhood until she had nobody to depend on besides her older brother.

her mother always felt a need to be married, due to how society treats unmarried women with children, so she was constantly remarrying and all of satoko's step fathers were abusive to her and even the ones that weren't in the beginning quickly got frustrated with her because she was a "problem child" who didn't accept them.

from the start of satoko's life, misogyny has driven a great deal of the trauma that she experiences from her family and this trauma is further complicated by st. lucia's, in the way it teaches girls that their worth in a heteronormative society is dependent on how well they can perform their roles as a wife and mother in a heterosexual marriage, and the way it also teaches them to other and hate that which could bring them down (which happens to be satoko herself in the eyes of much of the girls there).

when i think of ryukishi saying "i didn't want to write a conflict where fans would say "just get married"" i'm filled with sadness because as much as that's a response to people who said this about yasu and battler in umineko even though the issue goes beyond just romantic love, it's also the reality that women can't get married in japan and would face pushback from society especially in the 80s, so satoko and rika can't get married and therein lies a part of their tragedy.

sure satoko and rika can choose to live together and they can choose to be a couple, but they don't get the natural privileges that heterosexual couples are granted. satoko and rika, as queer young girls, have more pushback and will face so much more judgement from society.

satoko is also a young girl whose very mode of existence and way of engaging with other people goes blatantly against what is expected and wanted of her because she can't be a people pleaser like rika or rena, and she isn't a charismatic leader like mion. even when she was just going along with people and trying to be happy without pushing back against the status quo, her cheerfulness was considered boisterous. she's considered childish, strange and uncouth for her behavior and sense of humor.

there's also the fact that satoko's friends have grown up and all seem to be heterosexual - even rika makes a joke toward mion about seemingly being the center of keiichi's attention and having a relationship with him, as satoko sits there in uncomfortable silence before trying to change the subject to something else (some of this uncomfortableness is definitely due to the fact that rika is asserting she hasn't change, despite the fact that - from satoko's perspective - she blatantly has but the mion line is also important).

it's satoko's struggle with how women are perceived as either having to be pure in absolutes in their relationships with other women vs being seen as inherent predators of other women as she tries to accept her romantic love for rika as a girl.

when satoko was a child, that love didn't have to be explicitly defined. it was a love that didn't need to be labeled. however, now that they are reaching adulthood, they stand at a boundary that in class s yuri defines the end of the relationship, the end of the road, entering adulthood and marriage. satoko is now considered a young woman, and is no longer so easily distanced from those gendered expectations. a young girl who grew up desperate to avoid the expectations of heterosexual marriage and nuclear family. a young girl who rejects these things.

(and st. lucia is definitely a reference to things like onii-sama, e and everything about satoko's struggles is incredibly resonant with s class yuri. it's a running gag in revolutionary girl utena that the girls all fawn over the protagonist, they refer to her as utena-sama. the parts in satokowashi where rika is walking into the school and everyone is watching her and going "omg rika-sama!" "omg she's so graceful!" is literally the first episode of utena. everyone wants to be her and date her. she's so pretty. she's the ideal partner. except they've been taught to believe it all can only be taken at a far gaze because queerness is this struggle as it is frequently displayed in class s yuri as the issues of childhood and adulthood, and that feeling of not being able to continue these lesbian relationships as you are expected to grow up and marry a man).

satoko is framed at st. lucia as the scary crude violent boyish one and clingy 'predatory' etc etc as she's threatening the pure class s sistership the delicate princess rika has with these girls. it's rika's paradise as she really loves performing that for girls, the delicate girl princess. previously she only did that for the boyish princess satoko to shelter her (which she also really loved, the both of them loved it when they were equal-ish in their little two girl house). rika loves that. being with girls. she did that playacting for boys back in hinamizawa and saikoroshi emphasizes that rika does enjoy being the spoiled princess but it was never so elegant, refined - or rather, it never required so much exquisite effort and never yielded such great reward for her.

the implications of a christian all girls school with such values locking up the girl who refuses to conform in an attempt to force her to do that become TRULY horrifying when you remember that she's explicitly queer btw.

(THEY PUT HER IN GAY BABY JAIL) (LITERALLY)

with all this in mind, satoko's love confession for rika in tatariakashi becomes satoko expressing how she's learned to accept her feelings for rika as a teenager/adult, and the desire to express that even though she's been made to feel like she cannot due to the kind of misogynistic and homophobic environment st. lucia and society as a whole are which tell her this is inherently wrong and problematic...

when satoko confesses that she learned to be honest about her romantic feelings for rika then talks about how she must've gone wrong somewhere for things to end up the way they currently are, the reaction of the witch side of herself is a cold "in my opinion you went wrong when you let those outdated emotions reject the current reality" and she proclaims herself a witch because satoko believes it's too late for that. it's too late for this nonsense. it's too late for her to exist as anything more than a predatory deviant, whose love will never be accepted outside of what she can exert within these loops - the loops where she'll never have to grow up or become an adult shackled by society's expectations.

witch satoko vs satoko is partially about satoko's internalized homophobia. human satoko loves rika and wants to be with her even though she knows she's done something wrong. witch satoko thinks she's a naïve idiot because of course she has. of course it's wrong. satoko isn't a child anymore. she needs to understand her position as a young woman in society.

the umineko vibes are really strong here. it's a duel of love. who is right? who will win the duel to earn the right to exist? whose type of love and happiness will supplement the other's? a more metaphorical interpretation of being lost in paranoia and losing one's self to the trauma, mental illness and othering. it's just like yasu. yasu who is one yet many. yasu who struggles as they became complicit in the worst crimes. yasu who fought for their love. yasu who wanted to be seen and stopped. and satoko.

witch satoko wins the love duel.

the way she goes "you claim to be satoko, but you are the leavings of an old fragment" HITS SO HARD

satoko is denying herself, burying herself, killing herself, from the most literal to the most allegorical. satoko isn't a person. satoko is a witch. not a young lady of an academy, nor the daughter of many men. satoko houjou is a witch. free of gender expectations. free of her trauma and abuse. she's to stay within fragments and die there. satoko houjou is a witch.

this is the perfect expression of depersonalization and trauma in a single image btw

it's the splitting. the black and white perspective. demonizing and dehumanizing yourself. demonizing and glorifying others too. dissociating from your feelings and from reality. c-ptsd. C-PTSD GIRL OF ALL TIME. IT'S TOO LATE TO LOVE RIKA YOU SHOULD JUST DIE.

#higurashi #higurashi gou #higurashi sotsu #umineko #satoko houjou #gamo.txt

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lostinvasileios · 9 days

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Hey so, I'm sorry if this is intrusive since I haven't seen you post a lot about this but could you say what your experience with Yeshua or Jesus has been like so far? I left catholicism a long time ago, but I feel strangely called to him no matter what I do. And I don't like the church, I don't like the bible, but I want to oddly accept this feeling and see what happens with him now that I am out of my old abusive home and forced religion.

-☁️

Hello, bumblebee! It's not intrusive at all, I was planning on posting about them sooner or later, actually! Thanks for sending in your ask. 🍄🤍

Firstly, congratulations on getting out of that!! I'm so glad you made it out alright and trying to heal those wounds.

Now, I want you to know - you don't need to connect with churches or bibles to worship Yeshua, to communicate with him, ect. And, I get it - I never personally liked churches, I never felt any sparking connections to the bible, and - this all played its parts in my falling out with him at first.

I'm queer, and that alone was called filthy, or impure. Seen as something to be ashamed of and try to hide or tame. My gender identity and sexuality/romantic preferences have always been spoken about with hatred, judgement, or just blatant intolerance by my family & the religious leaders I was around at the time.

I didn't want anything to do with Yeshua when I left the religion. I couldn't get myself to face him, since I felt like he intentionally ignored me. Like he truly, heartfully hated me as much as everyone said he did.

But, one night, very very early into my journey... He appeared to me. And, at first - I was... Really shaky about it. I was super... Um... Emotional. To put it lightly, haha. I had a lot of conflicting thoughts, feelings, ect.

But, despite how angry, how sad, how - everything, I felt during that time, I remember how calm he was with me. How patient and understanding. Yeshua never cursed me, he never yelled, he never spoke to me with anger or any sort of negativity. He was, and is, very adamant on telling me that my identity, everything about who I am, is beautiful to him. How much he loves me, every part of me. How I am not a sinful creature, how I am not some mistake in a code to write out or bended metal to fix, yet a beloved soul he holds very dear to him.

Even after knowing how he felt about me, I still had issues really... Letting him in. I've never had a good relationship with any father figures I've had, and I didn't have a good relationship with him either. The reason I bring up father figures here, is because I found out quite quickly through my soul self that - well - Yeshua does take on the role of a father figure for us. He's spoused to my soul, he truly does care for me. He loves me, he wants to be there for me, to protect and reassure me. And that was hard to grasp for a long while.

In my own UPG of him, I've found out a lot of him. Of his troubled past, of his regrets, his traumas. He's been through a lot. And, he put in a shitload of work to try and heal from everything he was put through as a young god to where he is now. He knows he's hurt many people, he knows people use him to hurt others, he knows he's unfairly been put on to a higher shelf to the mass public. And he wants to make up for it. He wants to be that god I saw him as before I went through the incidents that caused me to fall out in the first place.

As of late, I've been trying to ease my way into him more. I've accepted him, but it can still be rocky for me at times. I crave for his love, and I know he craves for mine, as well. He's been trying to allow me to know just how much he loves me, with poetry and deep discussions on any and everything I was/am curious about. Gifts, affections, ect. But... Unlearning the church, and relearning Yeshua is difficult. He knows this. He went through the same things in his own variants.

You also don't need to be Christian or anything to worship him. He knows I am not Christian, and still very much loves me and accepts me. He isn't a forceful guy, not for the most part. Since, yes, he's healed a lot of his old ways and trauma habits, but he, like any god or soul at all, he can have his darker sides. Just as he can have his wholesome ones.

I've come to see he's also queer. Which is nice. We talk about our husbands/wives together over a nice glass of wine sometimes - whenever we aren't sobbing in each others arms about things.

#to: yeshua #Me and my deities will often do that. We're just a bunch of sobby saps #witchcraft #witch advice #deities #deity work #deity witch #mother witch advice #I want you guys to listen to this connected feeling you have towards deities more often #Please #For the sake of the literal lords #It's valid and important and a sign in itself I promise #If you feel connected with Yeshua - leap for it!! Or inch into it. Just see what happens. It's better than being curious and confused #yeshua deity #deity jesus #He's a sweetheart honestly

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aot-brainrot-my-beloved · 19 days

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Since I have nothing better to do, here are my AOT characters' sexualities headcanons (it's my opinion, pls be nice, homophobes DNI)

Probably gonna do it in parts cause there are so many characters LMAO. Also, go and check out my previous [post] about it for context

So anyway, Part 1 - The Scouts under the cut

Eren - demiromantic demisexual

Eren doesn't usually fall for people and doesn't think about romance, but when he does, he falls hard. He doesn't care about gender, he just needs to feel a really close connection to someone to feel anything. Also, he's famously oblivious to flirtations towards him, which is a popular inside joke among Scouts.

Mikasa - unlabeled

She’s very much Erensexual and that’s it LMAO But jokes aside, she really doesn't care and doesn't see a reason in labeling herself (not that it's a bad thing, she just feels like no name would ever truly fit her). What matters to her are her feelings for Eren and all her closest friends and that's enough.

Armin - pansexual

He doesn’t mind in general but he has a problem recognizing his feelings as something more than a friendship or admiration. He acts friendly and normal and then BOOM, that one special spark and, out of nowhere he’s an awkward ball of fluff. I feel like he just wants someone to talk to about the ocean and who will make him feel seen and safe <3

Jean - (closeted) bisexual

Marco was totally his bisexual awakening. Even though he knows nobody in the Scout Regiment will judge him, he's still scared to come out and every time someone asks him, he's very defensive about being straight (nobody believes him) (just look at him, very much chaotic bisexual icon 💅)

Sasha - heteroromantic asexual

Probably an unpopular opinion but I really don’t see her being into girls. I feel like the Scouts were initially surprised about it after seeing her being so close with Mikasa, but they are just besties. She’s sex-repulsed but will laugh at Connie’s dirty jokes. She’s a hopeless romantic though. She and Connie are platonic soulmates <3

Connie - aromantic asexual ❤️

He never got the appeal of romance or sex, and when someone was flirting with him, he felt really uncomfortable. His friends (especially Sasha) have helped him understand and come to terms with his feelings. He's also sex-repulsed but that doesn’t stop him from telling dirty jokes to others. He and Sasha are platonic soulmates <3

Marco - gay

I have nothing else to say other than the fact that I could never see him in any other way. The gay vibes are very strong with this one (just look at how he looks at Jean!!!)

Ymir - lesbian

She knew she was "different" since she was young, but had to hide it very well. Time spent on Paradis with her friends was the best time in her life because she could finally be her authentic self, without having to deal with homophobia and all the religious trauma, but also because she met the love of her life!

Historia - lesbian

I feel like at first she thought she was straight and then she met Ymir and truly realized something about herself. After that, she was proud of her sexuality, until she became the queen and realized how important her role was. Pregnancy was a hard time for her, especially knowing that Ymir was gone. But to not make it too sad I like to think that her husband was an understanding guy and tried to help as much as he could, while still understanding that he will never be the one and only for her 💔

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kristiemewisstan · 12 days

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The Tortured Poets Department Unhinged First Listen Review:

Fortnight-

NEEDS MORE POSTY, we love a “I wanna kill her”, this one MIGHT BE about Matty Healy lol “I touched you for only a fortnight”

The Tortured Poets Department-

“WHO USES TYPEWRITERS ANYWAY” YOU BITCH ITS YOU LOL, Charlie Puth name drop 🤨 oh god so many name drops, THIS BRIDGE, not the wedding ring…

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys-

THERE WAS A LITANY OF REASONS WHY WE SHOULDVE PLAYED FOR KEEPS THIS TIME my jaw literally dropped the entire last verse

Down Bad-

“Everything comes up teenage petulance” this one is cringy but in a way I love, Taylor Is Very Much A Down Bad Girlie

So Long, London-

this song is tachycardic I PROMISE I MADE THIS JOKE BEFORE “STOPPED CPR”, two graves one gun I SWORE THAT YOU LOVED ME BUT WHERE WAS THE CLUES damn she’s really sad to lose London huh

But Daddy I Love Him-

this would have a cool music video “she’s was chaos he was revelry” this is if red and the 1975 had a child that’s the vibe

Fresh Out the Slammer-

Okay so this is the “I just realized how bad this relationship truly was and thank god I’m out of it”, okay the weird slow down stuff wasn’t my favorite thing

Florida!!!-

I’m cackling, THE FLORENCE VERSE IS SO GOOD I think that this is just a Florence and the machine song it sounds so like them

Guilty as Sin?-

Okay this is the first one I’ve been like “oooooo I really like this one” “what if I roll the stone away, they’re gonna crucify me anyway” DAMN some religious imagery will always get me right in the trauma

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?-

This one has a lot of the brain scratching pauses “don’t you worry folks we took out all her teeth” oof this song is just really angry

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)-

Cowboy Like Me but they don’t end up happy, okay “good boy” made me giggle so apparently in a 12 year old boy

loml-

PIANO! WANT IVE WANTED THE WHOLE TIME “still alive, killin time at the cemetery, never quite buried” I’m getting a gun and flying to London, I swear “TALKING RINGS AND TALKING CRADLES 🤨” JOE ALWYN FOUND DEAD IN A DITCH “THE LOSS OF MY LOVE” COUNT YOUR DAYS JOSEPH 💀, this should’ve been track 5

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart-

hello production that is giving Barbie movie/80s vibes, this is the first one I’m certain was written recently like it was definitely written on tour, the peppy “cause I’m miserable!” Hurt Me but also same

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived-

THE BREATH ahhhhh PIANO! “I don’t even want you back I just want to know if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal” okay back half of the album is eating, THE PICKUP, SPEAK NOW VIBES BUT MOM IS OLDER AND MADDER

The Alchemy-

ok ok ok “I circled you on a map I haven’t come around in so long but I’m coming back so strong” fucking meant,👌 touchdown mention lmao, okay this is SO ABOUT TRAVIS 🥹🥰

Clara Bow-

Best production on the album in the first 10 seconds, BEAUTY IS THE BEAST THAT ROSE, WAIT WHAT????? “You look like Taylor Swift” yeah queen because you are lol, It’s so people can make the audio of her singing all the album names lmao

First Overall Listen- 7/10

I was getting nervous in the front half but the back half more than made up for it

The vibe was just off at the start and honestly that’s probably a me thing and will get better with further listens

The lyrics were amazing as always

Production was okay, some of the songs were perfect and some had me going 🤨

Charlie Puth

Top 3 in no particular order (apparently I like songs that hurt me):

Guilty as Sin?

loml

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

#the tortured poets department #ttpd #taylorswift #taylor swift #okay so like I kinda |didn’t like| it for the front half #and then Guilty as Sin?#and the album began eating

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theovergrowth · 2 months

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GET TO KNOW THE MUN

NAME?: Robbie, King, Clown, I’ve been called Many Things lmao

PRONOUNS?: if we’re talking the easy route, He/Him. If ur chill then He/It ❤️

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION?: Discord is the most reliable! My tumblr app hasn’t told me when people dm me since like 2021

MOST ACTIVE MUSE(S)?: Titus, obvi lmao;; of all my characters he talks in my head The Most and I get the most inspiration for him just day-to-day

EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS?: i started role playing over email in 2014 with a few friends from school, then found out about tumblr rp after undertale came out (…yeah my first muse was Papyrus what of it) so i guess almost 9-10 years at this point??? There’s gaps tho

BEST EXPERIENCE?: I mean for the Most Part I’ve had a lot of really good experiences with people! Especially Recently, the people I talk to are just very creative and kind and fun! Tho I do often reminisce on a thread me and an old mutual did when I first got confident enough to write OC stuff instead of canon, it was just a fun plot and we were both just Brain Broken kids ❤️❤️

RP PET PEEVES?: Ummm this is always a hard question, honestly I feel like I’m my biggest pet peeve in rp lol;; I guess my main thing is when people Press for Replies? Like yes remind me if it’s been a while, but I have had mutuals in the past who push after like a Day and it truly just makes my brain Refuse to do anything. That’s more a me thing tho I think

FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT?: with as much as I love making angst happen, I Love Fluff. It’s so much fun to write sad characters being happy ❤️❤️ Smut I have. No experience with (I just started writing smut in my downtime like 3 months ago and I respect yall who do it well So Much, it’s truly an Artform of its Own and if anyone has tips for beginners I’ll take em)

PLOTS OR MEMES?: Here’s my problem, right? Love Plotting, if I could plot until I die I would. But also. I might just plot until I die, because then I get nervous about not writing it in a way that feels the way it did when it was Plotted, ykno? Memes are fun but also I get Stressed by the Ask Box

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES?: i prefer longer ones, i think? Short can be fun, but I also have Too Many Thoughts to keep replies short

TIME TO WRITE?: oughghgh usually I Try to get to writing on my weekends, but;;; sometimes work and broken brain makes me Too Tired so it’s real Sporadic and depends on when I have Energy

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S)?

In some ways! Most of them have some Level of anxiety, most if not All of them are queer and neurodivergent.

Titus is honestly maybe the Most like me. I was homeless and lived in a van, Religious Trauma, complex about being Inhuman and Strange, autism, trans, and a lot of his little habits come from things I noticed me or my friends doing (tho honestly, Titus is more based on some asshole I knew in yellowstone lmao)

tagged by: @justashadetalkative (( aaa this one was fun!! ))

Tagging: if u see this 🔪 Steal It and Tag Me Pls

#pardon me i’m dancing for no reason! ( ooc. )#( dash games. )

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hiswordsarekisses · 10 months

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I pray if you only have time to read one post today, it will be this one.

⚔️📖⚔️

This post may in break some religious glass. If it does, I say ‘GOOD!’

Many may think that I am ‘Anti-Church’ from the things that I post, which is not necessarily the case.

What I am against are the trappings and patterns of Churchianity that can rob millions of the real experience God intended.

THE FACT IS you can attend church for years and years and never be taught ‘how to know’ God’s voice, or ‘how to be led’ by the Holy Spirit, or learn ‘how to evangelize’ a single soul.

But to me the greatest tragedy is to never be taught how to truly connect to God.

Jesus did not die so we would go to church every Sunday. That is not true Christianity.

Jesus died, rose, and sends the Holy Spirit [in order] to restore each one of us back into intimacy with True Love. That’s meant to be a daily experience.

The problem is [a corrupt system]. Just like we see corruption in the medical system, court system, school system and our government. There is a ‘religious system’, set up by men that feeds and supports ‘the system’.

The system needs resources to survive and will always cherry pick scriptures and ‘unspoken laws’ to teach and reinforce the patterns that support its survival.

Sad fact is for those reading their Bibles, they can see, this often looks nothing like we see in the book of Acts.

‘The system’ is designed to make people [pastor dependent], not God dependent.

It preaches on endless biblical topics, but ignores the most critical teaching of ‘how to’ become strongly connected to Jesus, how to hear His voice, be led by the Holy Spirit and enter the daily transformational experience that God intends for each of us.

I would have still been stuck in this system if it wasn’t for crushing trauma and circumstances that forced me to grope for a real Savior.

The Sunday boxed version I was living did not cut through the pain of the dark season I entered in 2011. I needed a real Savior.

No Pastor was there for me, even though I had tithed religiously for 20 years.

To my utter amazement, Jesus showed up. Literally He climbed down into my hopeless dark, broken pit of despair and He took my now full attention tenderly in His hands… and He made me know His voice. He made me know His loving presence. He made me to see how personal [He is] and then He began to walk with me and talk with me and show me amazing inspired visions of what He wanted me to do.

See YOU have a divine purpose that is 100 times more fruitful than 1000 years of Church attendance. That purpose is designed by God for you to walk out on earth ‘with Him’.

If you get this truth it will forever change your life.

God has inspired plans for you to reach the hurting world around you in real tangible ways that go far beyond simply being a greeter at church and a pew warmer.

God has a voice and it sounds and feels like True Love. He wants to take your personal hand and walk with and talk with you personally on a day to day basis.

This is why God has called me to share what He taught me. I created a playlist on YouTube and on our website that is 100% free!

It is designed to help you make the strong connection to God, which is key to your God-born destiny.

All of this being said, I believe in the five-fold ministry, teaching and family style fellowship that truly gets to know and care for one another.

I love to fellowship and break bread with any believer, anywhere and at anytime.

For me personally, I would rather lead someone to the heart of God than to church, any day.

I echo Paul in his letter to Timothy, “The goal of our instruction is the love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and a sincere faith.” 1 Timothy 1:5

FINAL THOUGHTS: I am not ‘Anti-[True] Church’, I am PRO [daily] personal connection to the heart of God.

Hope this encourages you!

www.KingsGallery.net

“Restoring intimacy with God”

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nostalgicreading · 2 years

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Found family in war times

Title: Goodnight mister Tom

Author: Michelle Magorian

Genre: Historical fiction, young adult, children.

Publication year: 1981

Main character: Willie is a scrawny and timid 8 year old boy who’s been brought up in terrible poverty by a physically and emotionally abusive religious mentally unstable mother. He is scared of almost everything and not use to the basic kindness he is shown by the people around him. Away from his mother he gradually changes into a very sweet boy who loves to help others and shows a talent when it comes to drawing and painting. He learns to stand up for himself and trust people.

Story: During world war 2 Willie is, like many other children, evacuated to the English countryside. He is placed in the home of a reclusive, gruff and old widower in his sixties called Tom. They both start off unsure of the other one, but Tom quickly notices that Willie isn’t a normal happy kid and immediately steps up to try and give him an at least somewhat normal childhood. Being different people who have both been through a lot, it takes some time, but they eventually open up to the other about their hardships and grow closer. Things change yet again when Willies mother wants him back again.

Reading experience: I’ve read this book 3 times; once as an audiobook during a long car trip when I was a kid, once in school as a teen, and once in my free time as an adult. Every single time I have cried throughout the entire thing. The things Tom and Willie have been through, the way they help each other heal and grow as people, and the father son relationship they form is so emotionally devastating. All of this during such a terrible time is even more emotionally wrecking. Classic found family/grumpy old man adopts a child story, but with extra trauma.

When I read it in school I remember going on and on with my classmates just how sad it was. It left quite an impression on me the first time. So many memories coming back the second time. Mostly the traumatic ones. Many classmates asked me about the fates of certain characters. It’s a book about abuse and war, so no character is truly safe. Willie sure has been through a lot... And goes through more in the book itself. All his sad moments are somewhat balanced out by the lengths Tom is willing to go for him, which saves the book from being way to depressing. But it's still sorrowful.

For some reason my mental image of “Mister Tom” was always Hagrid from Harry Potter. A gentle giant. Not sure why since they are so different.

#Goodnight mister Tom #Michelle Magorian #Willie #William Beech #Mister Tom #Tom Oakley #historical fiction #young adult #children #WW2 #book #books #booklr #book review

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myowndesertplaces · 2 years

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Hi! I just want to say.. I don't know if you believe in God or not (and my intention here is not to offend you). But God loves you. And I love you, too. And I’m praying for good things and better days to come rushing to you. I know the world can be incredibly disappointing. But I hope you're able to shake the weight off and tell depression she can't come in tonight (or ever again, I hope). I hope your heart and mind find peace and renewed hope again so soon. God bless you, love!

Oh anon. I know you mean well. And I do not want to take this out on you. I really dont.

But I spent a solid hour tonight in the shower coming to terms with the phrase, "Love the sinner, hate the sin," and where I want go from here with my conservative friends and extended family. You, unknowingly, have posted this message at a terrible time, and I'm sorry that you will then get the brunt of my aggression.

I'm agnostic, and agree with Kirkegaard that logic cant be used to explain faith. So I dont. And I wont.

I grew up Lutheran, and attended church and youth group most Sundays. I was lucky that I grew up in a church that didnt preach about God's authority and sin every two minutes, and never once felt unloved by God. Unlike a lot of queer folks, the Church didnt directly harm me growing up. I know the Gospels better than most Evangelicals. I study theology and religious history for fun.

So anon, I know God, and if an all-knowing loving God exists, I'm sure he's super sad to hear I'm super sad.

But you come to me on a night when I'm very openly talking about how the overturning of Roe V Wade is affecting me, a queer woman. To not recognize how the religious Christian Right has deeply contributed to this pain is, well, a misstep on your part.

I have many conservative friends. It's par for the course growing up in Appalachia. My girlfriend is from the south. "Hate the sinner, Love the sin," gets thrown around often. But my love for my girlfriend is no different from the love they have with their husbands. We worry about money. We compromise on which movie to watch on the weekend (though we rarely argue because we have similar taste). We care for our parents.

And my conservative friends and extended family will take us to dinner, shower us with love, hug us, and then vote to have our right to be together taken from us.

"Hating the Sin" feels like an act of violence against me. It hurts. It's fucking painful.

It's been painful to watch the religious right try to argue the same "grooming" argument that Anita Bryant used in 1977 over the last several weeks. The same argument that Harvey Milk faught against, a murdered gay icon.

Repealing abortion rights will result in countless deaths and suffering, and only evangelicals and 30% of the country wants this. And those of us on the outside can only watch, in horror, as Christian Evangelicals and Conservatives keep telling us about their idea I love.

I'm loved. Truly loved by my direct family, girlfriend, and best friends. People can suffer depression and still know people love them. But love doesn't shelter people from pain. The earliest Christian martyrs, torn in half by Roman lions, can tell you that.

And sometimes that Pain comes from people trying to show their "love."

I have been through trauma, a lot of it in a very short period of time. And now the world is reverting back 50 years and repealing my rights because of biblical fundamentalism, and tonight, that makes me feel worse.

"I am like a desert owl, an owl among the ruins."

So anon, no your message did not bring me solace or comfort, it just simply reminded me of what I have been thinking about obsessively for several hours.

#tw christianity #tw depression #read the room anon

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negative-speedforce · 12 days

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Ranking The Tortured Poets' Department Songs:

Complete Album Average Score: 8/10

My Score (complete album): 8.5/10

Fortnight (feat. Post Malone) 4/10. Not my thing. Didn't like that "one synth note playing in the background with almost nothing else" Skipped out towards the end because I got bored.

The Tortured Poets' Department: 6/10. Loved it. So fun! A little upbeat for a song called "The Tortured Poets' Department" though.

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys: 7/10. Gave me Reputation vibes. Reminded me of "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things"

Down Bad: 8/10. If it was sapphic, this would be the ultimate Pippa/Onnie song, because I can't help but make things about my OCs.

So Long, London: 10/10. My favorite song on the album so far. Peak Taylor Swift in my opinion.

But Daddy I Love Him: 8.5/10. Didn't leave that much of an impression on me, but it was good. A great track to listen to while driving down the freeway.

Fresh Out The Slammer: 9/10. EVERMORE VIBES FUCK YES. This is what I was hoping for from TTPD.

Florida!!! (Feat. Florence + The Machine): 10/10. After the disappointment of the original version of Snow on the Beach, this was... everything. I love Florence + The Machine, I love this.

Guilty as Sin?: 8/10. I was originally going to rate it much lower, but the bridge managed to convince me. My religious trauma ass was like "Is Taylor Swift comparing herself to Jesus? SLAY. SLAY!!!!"

Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?: 9/10. I love this. Peak Taylor Swift. The paranormal metaphors were on point, and this is definitely going on my OC Meredith's playlist.

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can): 7/10. I really liked this one, but it reminded me too much of my ex-girlfriend, so it hit a little too close to home for me to truly enjoy. Maybe in a few years, I'll be able to.

loml: 6.5/10. Far too sappy for me. Maybe if I listened to it in a more romantic mood (especially so soon after having a bad taste in my mouth from my ex), I'd like it better. Might listen again later.

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart: 8/10. So Mecore. I love the tonal dissonance of the honestly depressing lyrics and the cheery, upbeat music. I feel you, Taylor. Repressing emotions! Yay!

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived: 7/10. Despite the lower rating, I actually really liked this one. It's a biting diss track, set to relaxing piano music. What could be better?

The Alchemy: 7/10. It's cute, but didn't really stick with me. I don't really have that many thoughts about this one.

Clara Bow: 9/10. I actually really like this one. It's so peaceful, yet somewhat bittersweet. This one left me with good feelings overall.

The Black Dog: 8.5/10. The bridge is the part that really sold this for me.

imgonnagetyouback: 6/10. Idk, this one didn't really do it for me. I don't really even know why. Hypothetically, it gives off the vibes of something I'd like, but it wasn't my thing.

The Albatross: 10/10. Peak Evermore vibes. Loving it.

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus: 9/10. I really hope this song wasn't autobiographical. It was really sad, and I'd hate for something like that to happen to anyone.

How Did It End: 10/10. Actually cried during this one. I think that explains enough.

So High School: 7.5/10. Loved the guitar on this one. It was fun, but personally, I prefer the more relaxing folksy vibes.

I Hate It Here: 8/10. "I'd say the 1830s but without all the racists And getting married off for the highest bid". Literally the best lyrics ever. Freaking hilarious, especially on such a melancholy song.

thanK you aIMee: 7.5/10. As someone who was bullied in school, this song really hit hard. Like, hell yeah, Taylor, tell her what's what.

I Look In People's Windows: 9/10. First of all, please don't, it's illegal, but I really felt this song. Loved it so much. I know it's about a relationship but let's be real the queer autistic part of me knows that "outsider looking in, longing to be part of the group".

The Prophecy: 10/10. Again, this one made me get misty. The other best track on the album.

Cassandra: 9/10. Peaceful, but with that quiet, cold rage that Taylor just manages to evoke so perfectly. So good.

Peter: 7.5/10. Ooh is this a reference to Peter Pan? The piano line kinda reminds ms me of Piano Man by Billy Joel at parts.

The Bolter: 7/10. It's good, but nothing about it really managed to stick with me.

Robin: 8/10. I only realized halfway through that that this is a song about a kid. I thought it was about her cats. Good song either way. Half a point was deducted because she hasn't written a song about her cats yet.

The Manuscript: 9/10. A great conclusion to the album! It hurt like a bitch, but I don't care!

#Taylor Swift #Revan (Taylor's Version)#the tortured poets department #ts ttpd

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lunarticxenia · 3 years

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Asteroid Leviathan #8813

Asteroid Leviathan #8813 deals with our inner demons and things that make life hard for us. One might apply more to you than another, also everything might not apply because this asteroid can present differently for many people. Hope you guys enjoy, and for anyone who’s sending questions I’m trying my best to answer them! My post on how to find asteroids in the natal chart is here.

TW: Abuse, ED, S*xual assault.

♠️ 1H/Aries: The inner demons of individuals with Leviathan in the 1H or in Aries regards their appearance, path in life, and general sense of self. Their inner demons could also regard their identity- perhaps they struggle with their sexuality or gender if they’re LGBT+. Individuals with this would likely pursue things like plastic surgery, heavy make-up, tattoos, piercings, and/or heavy working out to “fix” their appearance. They might also feel very lost with themselves as well, and don’t know who they truly are. They also might struggle with their path in life, they don’t know what they’re supposed to do and just feel lost all the time.

♠️ 2H/Taurus: The inner demons of individuals with Leviathan in the 2H or in Taurus might regard possessions, their sense of worth, their body, and food. Individuals with this may have or had an eating disorder (myself included). These individuals might also have really low self esteem, and have a low sense of worth. They might find themselves in abusive relationships and/or friendships because their sense of worth is so low. They also might struggle with money; they might have grown up poor or grew up envying what other people had. They also might place their sense of worth based on how much money they have and/or what possessions they have. They might feel that if they don’t have the nicest clothes that they’re just not worthy of anything. This could also manifest as a person who uses retail therapy and/or in more extreme cases someone who will do anything for money even it’s illegal or immoral.

♠️ 3H/Gemini: The inner demons of individuals with Leviathan in the 3H or in Gemini might regard around intelligence, communication, siblings, primary and secondary education, and aunts & uncles. These individuals may have problems with communicating or learning- this could definitely manifest as an ADHD and/or a speech impediment placement. If not this extreme, the individual might just have problems with communicating in general and/or studying i.e. they can’t say how they feel, they can’t study, etc. They also might feel insecure about their intelligence and fear that they’re not smart enough.They could’ve gotten bullied in primary and/or secondary school. They could also have a strained relationship with a sibling and/or an aunt or uncle. In some cases, I’ve seen individuals with this have to take on almost a parental role with their siblings and this can cause a lot of strain on the individual. This could just mean an individual’s relationship with their sibling causes them strain.

♠️ 4H/Cancer: The inner demons of individuals with Leviathan in the 4H or in Cancer might regard around the family, the mother, emotions, and their femininity. These individuals may have issues with their family- they might not get along with them well or they just flat out don’t like their family or certain members in it. Moreover, this could be a mommy issues placement. Individuals with this also might struggle with feeling insecure about showing their emotions and/or might struggle releasing them in a healthy way. They might be embarrassed when they cry, and no one will ever know how they feel. They tend to suffer alone. They might also struggle with their feminine side. Individuals might view their feminine side as “weak” and might associate it with showing emotions which they don’t like to do.

♠️ 5H/Leo: The inner demons of individuals with Leviathan in the 5H or in Leo might regard love, creativity, expression, and children. These individuals may have issues with love. Not really relationships necessarily, but just how they give and receive love. These individuals might also struggle with seeing what love is and may struggle with recognizing it. They might see validation or attention as love. They also might be afraid of falling in love. They also might stay in abusive relationships because they love that person so much or they think that the abuse is a form of love. Basically just issues with love and how they see it. If not that their inner demons could center around creativity; perhaps they get absorbed in their creative works and nothing they do is ever good enough. They also might have a fear of having children and/or they might have issues with their children if they have them. For a person in the LGBT+ community I could also see this placement manifesting as being afraid to express their sexuality and gender (since this deals with love). If not that, they just struggle with expressing themselves in general.

♠️ 6H/Virgo: The inner demons of individuals with Leviathan in the 6H or in Virgo might regard their health, employment, and sense of usefulness. These individuals might struggle with their health. While it might just be normal health problems, I’ve seen it more manifested as a person’s mental state making them have health problems, i.e. a person with anxiety gets IBS. Whatever the mental disorder or issue is, it can cause issues to the individuals physical health. This could also manifest as a mental disorder as well since it deals with inner demons. I could also see this as a person who constantly has to help people and overexert themselves because they feel like they’re never doing enough. I could also see this as a person feeling insecure at work, perhaps they feel like they’re a bad worker, and that they’re not good enough to be there.

♠️ 7H/Libra: The inner demons of individuals with Leviathan in the 7H or in Libra might regard relationships, partnerships/marriage, and enemies. These individuals may have issues with their relationships, and it doesn’t have to be just romantic relationships. They could struggle with how they maintain relationships with others; there could be a lot of arguments and/or they might struggle to upkeep the relationship. They also might have a hard time being vulnerable to others which can hinder a relationship development. These individuals can also struggle with romantic partnerships- they might find themselves dealing with toxic and/or abusive partners. Relationships in general for them can just bring them a lot of pain and trauma. The individual could also struggle with enemies as part of their inner demons as it can bring them strain. This can also be a person who’s their own worst enemy.

♠️ 8H/Scorpio: The inner demons of individuals with Leviathan in the 8H or in Scorpio might regard sex, intimacy and vulnerability. These individuals may have issues regarding sex. In extreme cases this can manifest as sexual harassment, abuse, or assault. In less extreme cases they might have a hard time with sex because they have a hard time being that vulnerable to another person. Or this can manifest as someone who has sex a lot because they seek intimacy. These individuals regardless tend to struggle with intimacy and allowing themselves to be vulnerable to others. They tend to be more closed off around others and it takes a long time for them to open up. They enjoy their privacy and being “the lone wolf” however this can make them quite lonely because they feel that no one truly knows them.

♠️ 9H/Sagittarius: The inner demons of individuals with Leviathan in the 9H or in Sagittarius might regard traveling, higher education, religion, and philosophy. These individuals may have issues in regards to traveling- perhaps they desire to travel but are confined by their circumstances. They also might have had something bad happened if they have traveled. They also might’ve had some trauma happen in college and/or is a big source of their mental anguish. I could also see this manifesting as religious trauma, especially in LGBT+ individuals. In more extreme cases this could indicate abuse by someone in the clergy. These individuals might struggle with being the victim of their own philosophy of life. Maybe their philosophy of life is just naturally pessimistic and this can cause them a great deal of pain.

♠️ 10H/Capricorn: The inner demons of individuals with Leviathan in the 10H or in Capricorn might regard one’s career, reputation/public image, the father, and masculinity. These individuals tend to struggle with their career. They might feel that they’re not good enough for their career and might have a lot of anguish in deciding a career. Their career might also bring them a lot of anguish perhaps they work as a cop or a social worker and they come across a lot of really traumatizing scenarios. They also might struggle with their reputation/public image-perhaps people spread rumors about them a lot or people see them in a negative light, and this can cause them a lot of sadness. This can also be a daddy issues placement. This can also manifest as someone struggling with their masculinity or masculine side. If it’s a guy or a masculine presenting person he/they might not feel they’re being masculine enough.

♠️ 11H/Aquarius: The inner demons of individuals with Leviathan in the 11H or in Aquarius might regard friendships, their sense of belonging, and their hopes & dreams. Individuals with this might struggle with friendships. Their friendships can bring them a lot of anguish- perhaps they tend to befriend toxic people or they just tend to have a hard time making friends at all. They also might have a lot of trauma regarding friends- perhaps something traumatic happened when they were with friends or their friends caused their trauma. In extreme circumstances this can manifest as a friend causing the person abuse. This person also might not feel like they belong anywhere. No matter what they do they feel like an outcast. They also might have big hopes and dreams and they feel like they can’t accomplish them. They might also have unrealistic hopes and dreams and this can crash and burn.

♠️ 12H/Pisces: The inner demons of individuals with Leviathan in the 12H or in Pisces might regard spirituality, death, and one’s hidden self. Individuals with this may have a fear of death. They also might’ve been traumatized by the death of someone important to them, and they haven’t been the same. They also might have hidden parts of themselves that they resent and don’t like to show to people. These parts of themselves can cause them strain. They also might struggle with spirituality as well, they might not feel that they’re spiritual enough or they might feel lost spiritually. They might not have anything to really believe in, and they just feel lost.

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bratz-kitten · 3 years

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the sun through the houses

sun in the 1st house: you irradiate confidence and self-assurance, as if you know exactly who the fuck you are and what you're here to do and people are very drawn to that kind of energy in you, to the way you're so full of life, spontaneous, ready to face anything that life throws at you and your ambitious nature. you thrive when you're uplifting others to feel as good as you do because you don't want to shine alone, and because on the inside, you might be much more insecure than people are aware of - you understand what it's like to be at rock bottom, but you're good at hiding this part of yourself. can be very controlling and competitive, and if you were raised in an environment where your parents used to fight a lot, you might chase conflict wherever you go. be careful with being arrogant and proud, and be aware that your strong energy might overwhelm a lot of people. whatever you do, you follow your heart. you need appreciation and recognition from others. you keep your cool in the most stressful situations.

sun in the 2nd house: you crave to achieve financial success; here, the planet of the ego is tied to the house that rules material possessions and our self-worth, so you want to achieve power by getting rich because that's how you feel safe. you're very talented when it comes to business and making good investments that'll allow you to get to the next step. when it comes to your ambitions, if you want something, you'll work hard for it and only stop when you get it. you're very witty, with your dry humor and sarcastic personalities, you truly have the best comebacks lmao and above all, you always keep your word. you take pleasure in everything lavish that life has to offer; you have great taste and know when something is of value almost instinctively. you need to make sure you're appreciating the people in your life instead of only what you own and your ambitions because you're at your best when you're expressing your kind and generous side. you might be into retail therapy when you feel sad or empty, but afterward, you might feel terrible because the fulfillment shopping gives you is only temporary. careful with being controlling or possessive.

sun in the 3rd house: you use your mind like a weapon. you truly have a way with words and you're able to express yourself in a way that leaves everyone wanting to know more about you; but most of all, you crave to keep on learning more and more and to expand your knowledge, because that's what feeds your soul. spontaneous personality; bold but unpredictable and you feel a sense of pride whenever you think about your friends, they're very important to you. you have the capability to bring stories to life, this placement is amazing for aspiring writers, and you like analyzing your surroundings which, in turn, makes you a very adaptable person. constant change in your way of thinking because you're always viewing things from different perspectives. you can become easily bored when you aren't feeling mentally stimulated, which is why you're always seeking new experiences, communicating with others and why you live so much in the present. persuasive. people who don't seek to expand their minds terrify you. you refuse to live in the shadows of your siblings, you have a need to stand as your own person.

sun in the 4th house: when the planet of the ego is in the house of our family life, our inner experiences and our childhood trauma, you are blessed with a rich inner experience that leads you to want to delve deep into what you went through and how those experiences shaped you into the person you are today – and that means the trauma you went through, too. if you had bad experiences in your child, your journey is longer and harder because you find it harder to understand life, and you might've compared your home life to the "outside world" a lot, feeling like they were two different entities (think sinclair from demian). you're very caring and nurturing and very attached to your family, either the one you were brought under or the one you want to establish. having a home that feels cozy and safe is what brings you security, and you want to bring happiness to the ones you love the most. be careful with being too pessimistic and feeling paranoid that something bad will suddenly happen, and also with being too controlling and domineering. you need a lot of reassurance, but be careful with coming off as if you don't trust your loved ones. very strategic, you play the long game.

sun in the 5th house: you literally irradiate artistic talent and creativity! you thrive when you express yourself and your originality and get recognized for it, and appreciation for your efforts is very important to you. intelligent, you can be very cunning and strategic, at the same time that your optimism and spontaneous nature naturally commands attention from others. very dramatic, you shine in the eyes of others. but although you have a happy aura to you, you can be very hard on yourself, thinking you're not good enough whenever you're not being appreciated. at your worst, you can have an exaggerated sense of pride, dominating energy, manipulative tendencies or feeling less than others. you may fluctuate between focusing a lot on yourself and being overly generous with everyone in your life. bold, you do a lot just to feel alive. you're very loyal and love deeply, passionate and nurturing, but be careful with involving yourself with people who take advantage of that. you should realize that appreciation should come from yourself and not others. if you add discipline to your originality, you can become very successful.

sun in the 6th house: one of your driving forces is your attachment to your work and your need to be of service for others and to be recognized for your efforts. health, dieting, exercise and keeping a structured routine are very important to you. you have a constant need to be perfect and that can be your own worst enemy, because when you or others aren't meeting your high standards, you might feel like you're weak and have your insecurities taking over you. you can't stand being told what to do. very self-aware. a tendency to be a workaholic because it's what makes you feel proud of yourself; you need to feel like you're making the world a better place. stress can easily physically affect you, you should understand that validation needs to come from yourself and not from others, and accept that having imperfections is human, it doesn't make you weak! careful with having a routine too restrictive that doesn't allow you to have fun, work can become an obsession for you. you truly always want more and need to keep busy and productive to feel safe. don't let your insecurities stop you from pursuing your ambitions.

sun in the 7th house: you have a very strong sense of justice because of your capability of analyzing a problem from all different perspectives. you need to bring peace everywhere you go and to help others in any way you can. you have a special charm that others feel drawn to, and many admire you for your caring nature and talent at giving advice, making you often the center of attention in the middle of groups. sociable and good with words, you're very persuasive; although you might tend to identify yourself too much with what others think of you – you should understand that others' opinions aren't that important and it's how you view yourself that matters. you crave affection and are very sensitive when it comes to your relationships, you would do anything for your loved ones and you're very in tune with their needs. you can have people-pleasing tendencies because you're terrified of rejection. you're determined to succeed and to build an amazing self-image because you have a gift when it comes to social intelligence. can have some open enemies.

sun in the 8th house: can attract a chaotic life that pushes you into achieving transformations because that's how you grow and evolve, through the process of death and rebirth. you can't deal with superficiality and you crave deep connections with people, intimacy and to evolve with the person you love. creative. you may feel like the universe sends you messages so that you'll reach an awareness of some kind. you love experiencing new things and especially with yourself, you constantly look forward to changing your appearance and your spiritual or emotional views on the world. you feel a need for self-improvement. very secretive, you value privacy more than anything and you don't allow almost anyone to figure you out. you might be terrified of not finding people who want to connect with you as deeply as you want with them. tendency to isolate yourself emotionally, as in you might open up to others about superficial matters but when it comes to emotions, you're terrified of showing that part of yourself. you want to help others through their darkest times.

sun in the 9th house: you love learning and dream of exploring the world, it's like you can absorb any information that you get your hands on. very idealistic and dreamy, it's hard for you to keep grounded on reality and material things when you're so concerned with the metaphysical, to understanding the secrets of the universe and all that is spiritual, philosophical, religious and transcendental. so enthusiastic and curious, it's like you can't stay still for a minute and long to go on adventures. you can see the best in people, but be careful with only seeing their good parts – you need to understand that nothing is black or white and people are morally grey and complex, not all bad nor all good. might be very pessimistic if you've gone through something traumatic that completely shattered your perceptions of the good in the world; you might feel like things are never going to get better (i promise they are). very proud of your knowledge. high ideals and honesty. loyal to your beliefs always. careful with being too authoritative.

sun in the 10th house: when the planet of the ego falls in the house of social status, you seek power above all. you want fame, notoriety and to lead, and when not achieving what you want, you might become insecure. you can't help that ambition runs in your blood, but you should make sure you're doing things because you love doing them and not just to get recognized. it's like you need to achieve so that you can feel proud of yourself because you never felt that kind of support when you were younger, and achieving success feels like a life or death matter to you. you ooze charisma and you naturally draw attention to yourself, wanting to be recognized for your talents. very aware of how others perceive you. but even if you're a great leader, you hate following orders which can make you have problems with those in charge – be careful with making enemies and with stepping on others to get what you want, it’s very important that you keep a strong sense of morals or else you can grow to be arrogant and tyrannical. at your worst you can start abusing your power; at your best, you can use it to better the lives of all those around you like a true leader.

sun in the 11th house: here, the planet of ego is in the house of friendships, hopes, inventions and the collective, making you shine when you're able to help others. your friends are the most important thing for you, but be careful with identifying too much with them. you carry yourself with so much confidence, you're so full of life and with a love for learning and giving to others. eccentric personality and big dreams. you want to stand for a cause that matters to you alongside others who you love. others gravitate towards your magnetism, individuality and friendly nature, naturally looking up to you as a leader. if you happen to have been betrayed in the past, you might shut yourself completely from friendships due to a fear of trusting the wrong person again, but please don't deny yourself your need to socialize and to express your revolutionary ideas to others because you truly shine when you're around those who you trust and help you grow.

sun in the 12th house: you might have a very hard time understanding who you are and your identity, and because of this sense of unclarity about yourself + your intuitive and empathetic nature where you absorb others' energies like a sponge and need a lot of solitude to recharge yourself, you might feel like you need to keep a mask in public, to play a character to feel safe interacting with others. plus, it doesn't help that you have perfectionist tendencies and hate failing and making mistakes. there's a tendency to feel very insecure and misunderstood, and to feel melancholic and with turbulent emotions, so you should be gentler with yourself and allow yourself to express your sensitivities, the way you're so compassionate and giving. because even if you need time to recharge for introspection, you shine when you can help others. be careful with developing self-destructive behaviors. artistic tendencies because of the depth of your emotions and inner world. you can be truly wise and others might see you as an "old soul" because of that. you might be a night owl. psychic potential.

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hymnsofheresy · 2 years

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hi!! i hope you are doing well and staying safe!! :-) ok, this is gonna bit long, i’m sorry!!! i been thinking a lot much about how for black americans, christianity is embedded in our history whether we want it to be or not. from the very beginning, when the Word was used by white people to justify slavery to when that Word was taken and used as hope, to when churches, pastors/church officers and hymns were used as symbols and catalyst of the civil rights movement. its so insane to me to think about how black americans relationship with Jesus is so intimately connected to our race and history and centuries of oppression and grief, and how for white people its… not. like, my sister says sometimes when she doubts her faith she remembers our ancestors during slavery, how they remained faithful despite their unfathomable suffering, and how she owes it to them and their faithfulness to continue. i go to a predominantly white liberal christian uni and as a black person i am always, always feeling out of place. the sermons, the worship nights; i enjoy and am so grateful for them on a certain level but i also feel so disconnected because i know myself nor my faith are truly understood, or often even recognized in white spaces. i guess for me and many black americans, my identity, experience in this life, and feelings as a christian and a black person cannot be separated- how can it, when black american history and christianity have been intertwined for so long. the history of black american christians is often a history of an intimate relationship with centuries of shared grief and trauma, faith, blackness, and white supremacy.

we had a conversation in class about faith and race in one my classes, and i mentioned how restrained i feel in white churches bc its so… silent. black baptist churches often have people screaming and shaking and running around when they “catch the spirit” as we call it. they are overwhelmed with their faith, with the Holy Spirit, with Jesus’ love. and its so freeing, and so recognizing of how many centuries it took Black people to get where we are, how many centuries we suffered and how He remained faithful.

idk!! i just think its so interesting and somewhat heartbreaking. i dont want their to be a disconnect, i want to feel unified when going to sermons in predominantly white churches, or reading this blog or other christian focused blogs ran by white persons, and in general in white spaces! but theres so often a lack of recognition and conversation of what it means to be black and christian in america (and what it means to be a poc in general, since for most poc religion and race are inseparable), and how that differs than white christianity. i would love to study theology but like most higher education fields, that area of study is often heavily white, and i cant talk about my faith without talking about my race, and inadvertently, white supremacy.

its just so frusterating and sad and i know all in all comes down to ending white supremacy, including dismantling it in our religious spaces and conversations. i know you’re white so your perspective on this will be limited, but i wanted to ask for the thoughts of someone who studies religion and who’s conversations i often sincerely value!! thank u for taking the time to read this!!!!! have a good day!!!! be safe <33 :-)

My apologies for taking a while to answer this; this ask has been on my mind for a while. My perspective is definitely limited, but I think that you should definitely deeply consider studying theology. I am not going to discourage you from attending any seminary or divinity school that you might have in mind; but there are black seminaries in the United States that are extremely well renowned. No matter what seminary you might attend, there are usually classes offered at most protestant seminaries that cover the intersections between race and religion. I certainly recommend looking into divinity schools and seminaries that offer classes pertaining to black and liberation theology. You clearly have a keen awareness of race within Christianity, and I think that you have the potential to be a wonderful theologian.

The relationship between race and religion isn't exactly subtle, walking into a black church is vastly different from walking into a white church. I don't necessarily think these differences are bad per-say, I think they reflect a different historical and cultural experience from each other. What does bother me is the superiority complex that is prevalent in white churches; and I will admit that I have been conditioned to think this way. This is especially so in more "high-church" spaces, which is primarily the spaces I occupy. This sort of thinking is most certainly rooted in white supremacy.

There are certainly some fairly successful integrated churches, however the worship style typically leans more "white" or "black;" I haven't really come across a church that have successfully combined both types of worship together seamlessly.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling this "disconnect" you describe. You are certainly not alone in your experiences; I have come across many people who have described very similar experiences to you upon entering into white churches. Of course, I am not being burdened with the extra layer of systemic racism, but I also feel a disconnect when entering into black churches.

I genuinely believe this reaction is normal. This sort of disconnect, to me, is just a form of culture shock. What seems to help me a bit is just recognizing that simple fact. I might not fully understand what is going on and I might be a bit uncomfortable... but that is okay. My embodied worship does not have to perfectly reflect someone else's. The God we love is still the same, even though we have different ways of expressing that love.

Overall, black theology and spirituality is profoundly important to the Church as a whole. It is something that white people within the church need to start recognizing.

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depressedacadamia · 3 years

Text

17 year olds don’t make good decisions

Summary: it's exactly as the title suggests. On Nico's 17th birthday, he decides to do exactly as the title suggests and ends up visiting his boyfriend at the infirmary.

A/N: THIS WAS INSPIRED BY @rainnows and @daughter-of-sunshine from this post. ALSO SHOUT OUT TO @marbleheavy WHO CHEERED ME UP WHEN I WAS TALKING ABOUT BEING SAD ON BATHROOM FLOORS. Thank you @solangeloweek for this fun challenge! I actually managed to complete it without burning out halfway unlike with writers month which I PROMISE will be finishing. It feels super cool to tag people as if I had a tag list. Anyhow, hope yall enjoy the final day in will solace's bday week and comment! <3 from Persephone.

Read on AO3 Masterlist.

Perhaps trying to give himself a lip piercing all by himself in the solitude of the Hades Cabin was not the best idea. That said, Nico was trying to celebrate his 17th birthday and he had been looking forward to getting a lip ring that he had seen Thalia wear recently and of course, Nico was impressed.

But Nico was even more impressed when Thalia had told him that she had pierced her lip herself like a badass motherfucker. At the time of course, Nico's first thought was wondering whether the hunters of Artemis had a dress code and if so- were piercings included? (Because he knew that Apollo would definitely want in on that.)

But now, as he held his bleeding lip which dripped over his fingers and pulled out the metal needle which had come in the packaging, he realised that just perhaps this wasn't a great deal. He grabbed some tissues and held them to his lips in the hope that the applied pressure would at least stop the big gush of blood but after several impatient minutes of doing so, he began to slightly panic.

Why hadn’t the bleeding stopped? Did he hit a blood vessel? Obviously he must have since he was bleeding! Was it veins or arteries that were super dangerous? God, why was blood so red? And why did this hurt so damn badly- he’s been stabbed for goodness sake! He was a soldier and it was a boo boo lip that was getting to him?

He rushed to the infirmary in panic- he doubted many people would see him and he deeply cared about his lips; afterall, how else would he kiss Will?

“Why are you holding that to your mouth?” Will asked when he saw his boyfriend walk through the infirmary doors. “ You’re not meant to eat tissues. If you were hungry, you should have bought a happy meal.”

Nico, who was still bleeding profusely into the tissue, turned it around so Will could; see his blood stained face and almost ripped lip.

“It won’t stop bleeding,” Nico managed to whine out in pain.

“What did you do?!” Will shouted in horror.

“I DON’T KNOW, YOU’RE THE DOCTOR!”

“I’M A HEALER, NOT A DOCTOR!” Will, truly panicking, screamed back. The two stared at each other, eyes wide open and finally, Will realised that while Nico was a soldier, he wasn't a healer. Sure- he inflicted injuries but he didn't fix them. In other words, Nico was completely clueless.

Will repeated the question, this time with a calmer tone. “What did you do?”

He changed his gloves and sat Nico down so he could have a look.

“I shwied oo iercee my wip,” Nico tried to speak as Will held his mouth open, taking a glance at the bottom of his lip.

“Sooo?” Nico said once again, over exaggeratedly as his boyfriend prepared to clean the wound.

“There’s a hole in your lip.” Will said, without a fraction of surprise as he began to clean the wound, lightly dabbing the soaked cotton ball at the injury.

“Ouuchh,” Nico tried to move away, but Will - in a very threatening manner- stopped him with a manic gleam in his eye that read No <3.

The two sat there as Will managed to stop the immense bleeding. Quite luckily for Nico’s reputation, there weren’t many people in the infirmary that specific evening and therefore, it was only Will and a couple of other healers- who weren’t scared of Nico but let him think so- who knew of the accident.

“Why did you even want to get your lip pierced in the first place?” Will umbled as he began to clean up.

“Because.”

“Because what?”

Nico replied in innocent honesty. “ It’s cool.”

Will choked at the simplicity of the answer. “Because it’s cool?”

Nico, similar to a puppy, nodded with eager delight. Sure, his lip piercing had not gone the way he had wanted and it was a shame that he’d have to wait for his lip to heal so that could try again but in the end- his lips still seemed to be working.

“Let me get this straight,” Will paused, “ You got a lip piercing, you willingly attempted to put a hole through the flesh of your lip because you thought it looked cool?”

“No,2 Nico huffed slightly. “Also you can’t get anything straight.”

Will sighed, “ And you’re about to make a gay joke to hide your own religious truama, aren’t you.”

“Oi!” Nico cried. “ No fair! You don’t get to ruin the punchline of my joke and expose my psychological trauma!”

Will gave a small chuckle to himself as he finished cleaning up and Nico patiently- which was relatively surprising- waited on the bed. He moved his fingers to gently prod his lip where the injury had occurred a while ago, a bit surprised to feel the flesh there to be swollen and burning hot to the touch.

“Willll,” Nico complained. “ My lip is puffy.”

The blond healer scoffed in response. “ That’s what you get for trying to pierce your lip by yourself.”

“But Thalia did it by herself and it looks so cool!”

“Is that what this is about?” Will turned around suddenly. “ Because Thalia told you about her lip piercing.”

Nico folded his arms looking away slightly. “ She didn’t just tell me, she was wearing her lip piercing and I for one think it looks awesome.”

“Yeah, I can really tell from the state of your lip,” Will laughed dryly.

“You’re being meaner than usual, sun boy.”

“You’re being stupider than usual death boy.”

“See!”

“I think I'm allowed to be a bit annoyed at the stupid attempt you made ot pierce your own lip without the aid of anyone else- or at least your boyfriend-, who, might I add, is a healer!”

“So I’m meant to be running to you every time I might have a problem and supposedly need some help with it?”

“Yes!”

Nico, ready to retort back an ‘I thought so”, paused. “Oh.”

The infirmary fell silent as they both stood staring at each other while the sun set behind=d them in the background. Will’s skin glowed under the light and Nico’s eyes glinted. They stared at each other and suddenly within a beat all the tension in the room rushed out and they both started laughing at one another. Suddenly a tall, black haired boy scrambled into the infirmary with mischief written all over his gleeful face.

“So?” Percy painted. “Did you actually try and do the piercing?”

To say the least, Will demanded an explanation.

#will solace #will solace bday week #will solace fanfic #Nico Di Angelo #Nico Di Angelo fanfic #solangelo #solangelo fanfic #solangelo fluff #will x Nico #Nico x will #will solace fluff #Nico Di Angelo fluff #percy jackson #Percy jackson fanfic #Percy jackson #Thalia grace #Thalia grace mention #Nico x will fluff #will x Nico fluff

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wutheringmights · 3 years

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I just read the newest chapter and I loved it! ♥ ♥ ♥ I was wondering if you had some hcs about the engineer that you could share?

Awww I'm glad you like it! I just spent 5 minutes trying to figure out what "HCS" meant before realizing I'm a tired idiot who can't read lol

But yeah! I got some headcanons for the engineer/Spirits I can share!

These headcanons are a mix of things I generally believe for any iteration of the Hero of Spirits and a few things exclusive to CTB. It's pretty obvious which are which.

Technically this is slight spoilers since most of this is not mentioned in-story, but Warriors is a such a self-centered asshole that I'm not sure when I can get him to explicitly ask about Spirit's backstory lol

This got super long and kind of just became me talking about Spirits's entire backstory, so enjoy:

Spirits is sixteen during the course of Spirit Tracks, mostly because that was the vibe I got from him when I first played the game (I made him younger for CTB)

He's not descendant from Wind (who I maintain disappeared instead of settling in New Hyrule); instead, he's Aryll's great grandson

His family name used to be Outset, but when everyone who originally immigrated from Outset island took on that last name, they changed it to Aryll to reflect the family matriarch

So Spirit's full name is Link Aryll, though there is a branch of his family that uses Macaryll instead

The Aryll/Macaryll family is huge; everyone has at least six aunts and uncles on all sides of the family and they can trace back how they are related to Aryll

"I'm Grandma Aryl's third son's second daughter's fifth child." -someone Spirits is related to, probably

He actually never met his great grandmother; she died before he was born.

Spirit's dad was full-blooded Lokomo while his mother was Hylian; his mother passed a few months after he was born after never truly recovering from childbirth while his father died in a fishing accident when he was eight

He went to live with an aunt and uncle who owned a general store; their relationship was polite at best. The aunt and uncle told Spirits upfront that they intended to give the store over to his cousin when he was older so Spirits needed to come up with his own life plan

Spirits didn't necessarily mind since he never wanted to work in a store for the rest of his life, but the ultimatum made it clear that they didn't care for him like a son

To this day, their relationship isn't strained and he doesn't hate them. But whenever they meet, he's overly polite; they're more acquaintances than family

He's cool with his cousin though. They have different interests so they aren't best friends, but they're okay.

Spirits also always had his spirit-sensing abilities. It's really like a sixth sense to him, as normal and automatic as seeing and hearing; he actually didn't realize this wasn't normal until he was a little older

His abilities at this point are limited to sensing vague ideas of a person's spirit (if they're light or dark, etc.), and seeing ghosts (which are really rare. You have to have a lot of power yourself to become one)

(Note: I'm not the only one who headcanons Spirits as having spirit sensing abilities; if you know who can up with the idea, please let me know so that I can tag/credit them!)

The elder of his village told him that select Lokomo had minor spirit sensing abilities, and those who did were traditionally made elders of their villages; being more of a follower than a leader, Spirits adamantly dismissed that idea and refused to be trained on how to hone his spirit senses. He also never learned any of the religion behind it

Which was a little worrisome since his abilities are way stronger than most

Besides, he's always liked trains and it's been his dream to travel around the kingdom as an engineer; being some town's elder would get in the way of that

Anyway, Spirits had to pass a written exam before being accepted as an apprentice engineer, so he's very studious and has a lot of drive (pun unintended?)

He went to live with his Uncle Niko during his apprenticeship in another town; Niko isn't related to him, but he's been a friend of the family for so long that everyone secretly thinks he's actually related to someone and they just forgot who

Niko is his real family, hands down. Those two are as thick as thieves and bring out the wild side in each other

A preteen Spirits used to think Niko was a little lame and kind of embarrassing, but now that he's older, he's all for Niko's weird old man-ness and has even picked up on some of his weird old man-ness himself

That being said, they're both disasters. Neither can clean or cook or do any kind of housekeeping and their shared house is cluttered with Niko's art projects and Spirit's half-finished tinkering

Growing up, Spirits had no idea he was related to the legendary Hero of Wind; Aryll died before he was born, but even in life she was filled with too much grief over her missing brother to discuss it often. Within the family, being related to the Hero of Wind is a rumor at best.

Of course, Niko knows but keeps it a secret from Spirits; once he got back from his LU-adventure, Wind told Niko about the curse of the Hero's Spirit. Then he went missing post-New Hyrule's founding, which really drove the terror of the curse home. Niko thought he could keep Wind's family from falling victim to it by not inadvertently encouraging them to follow in Wind's footsteps

So Niko kept it a secret

And obviously, that didn't work

Spirits' quest to save New Hyrule resulted in him realizing that he needed to embrace his Lokomo heritage and get a handle on his spirit powers; Anjean gave him a little training during his quest but afterwards he traveled around the kingdom to find as many people as he could with abilities like his

They were all really excited to teach him what they knew, especially the religious aspects of the abilities; Spirits is still not the most religious person, but he at least understands and embraces the cultural significance of what he is able to do

This is where he learned how to read a person's Spirit to get an idea of their life experiences and the kind of person they're like; he can also detect where a person is without having to put much effort into it

At Zelda's encouragement, he also got more sword training from the Castle Guard. She offered him a place among them, but he turned it down in favor of remaining an engineer. He still helps around as a swordsman when he can and will act as Zelda's body guard

Speaking of which, he and Zelda are 100% in love. Their relationship started out as puppy love but over the years as matured into a deep connection built on mutual respect

When he's working on designing new engines or parts for his trains, he occasionally brings his drafting materials to the castle gardens so that he can work alongside Zelda; sometimes she falls asleep leaning against his arm and he has to be careful not to shake her awake as he works

Whenever she need to go anywhere in the kingdom, she rides in his train and teasingly criticizes his conducting; he takes a lot of pride in his conducting, but he lets her get away with it since her critiques are objectively hilarious

He keeps a tiny pictograph of her taped to his dashboard

But there's a bit of a problem with their relationship, and it's that he doesn't know if he wants to be the prince consort or not. He does love her, but that would mean giving up being an engineer in favor of being stuck at the castle all of the time

Plus, he's doing great as an engineer; he's saving up to open his own garage that produces his own train designs

Eventually, he leaves for the War of Eras

His experiences with Warriors leaves him more sure than ever that he doesn't want to be the prince consort, resulting in him ending his relationship with Zelda shortly after he returns home

It hurts for a long time to be around her since all of his old feelings keep coming back, so he keeps his distance for a long time; it takes a few years for him to go back to hanging out with Zelda as friends

But now she's approaching marriage age, and he spends a lot of time when he's on body guard duty super jealous of these princes and ambassadors from foreign kingdoms who try to court her

But again, he knows he can't be in a relationship with her so he respectfully and silently pines over her (I'm just a sucker for pining, okay?)

Okay, more random headcanons that are a little less sad

Spirits likes super spicy food, but since he can't cook to save his own life, he just eats whatever he can get his hands on

He's super dirty all of the time, just the epitome of scrappy; there's always a smear of oil somewhere on his person

He actually really hates bathing and only keeps his curly hair in check to comply with train safety regulations

He's really polite and a little shy, but once he loosens up, he gets talkative and personable

He's also very contemplative; he likes conducting so much because he gets to spend long stretches of time alone with nothing but his thoughts

His trauma/stress response is to shut down; he goes quiet, loses energy, and sleeps for longer periods of time

He tends to gravitate towards socializing with people who are older than him, which gets him labeled as being no fun by his peers (despite having someone as cooky as Niko for a uncle)

Post-adventure, his best friend is Linebeck III. They're drinking buddies. Neither can really explain why they even like hanging out as much as they do

(I just like the idea of Linebeck accidentally getting attached to one kid and his whole bloodline getting forever tangled with Wind's; they're bros for multiple lifetimes)

Not only is Spirits good at designing and building new machinery, but he's great at tinkering; he can fix almost anything and will buy broken things on purpose just to have something to fix

No one really knows he's a hero; he doesn't like the attention and, at his request, Zelda did her best to keep his involvement with Malladus a secret

Because not many common people know about his adventure and records of New Hyrule are very rare, he's considered in Warrior's time to be a forgotten hero; some scholars believe that a Hero of Spirits may have once existed, but if he did, no one really knows who he was or what he did to serve the bloodline of Hylia

#god this got long but i hope you like reading them anon!#I just have a lot of thoughts about spirits #so many thoughts #linkeduniverse #linked universe #lu #lu headcanon #lu spirits #loz st #legend of zelda #spirit tracks link #zelink #ask #anonymous #me rambling #lu ctb #loz

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