#and it makes me really sad that i cant do that anymore. like i used to tell him everything. idk its all different now :(

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS #REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT #NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS #THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS. #ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of #another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY.. #i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her #idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had #when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them. #but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore. #but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think #i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow. #ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that #AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE #I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME #THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE #WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL #in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad #this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks- #-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl- #-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi #gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show #i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!! #anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM

[belleandsaintsebastian]

most of the time i really don't care but. today i'm feeling a bit sad that i don't think i'll ever be able to tell my dad i'm queer. and i know it's literally so stupid to think about and its not that bad or anything but just. gahhh idk. i'm just a bit angry and sad bc i feel like it would change everything + i'd just let him down. GAHHHHH :) okay anyways back to the main program....

#actually going 2 overshare a little bit more sorry..... #(<- tumblr user ass thing to say..) #okay like. last year when i was just abt to move out for uni for the first time ever. he wouldnt stop going on abt #how i needed to shave my legs. like he wouldnt stop he kept going on abt how everyone would laugh at me + how i needed to do it #implied that it grossed him out or smth. like he tried to bribe #me??? to shave my legs at one point???? which was. i mean it was kind of funny + also i was so devastated hahaha #like top ten things 2 tell your eighteen year old daughter the month before shes about to leave home... #can't WAIT until i enter my late 20s and he inevitably starts asking me why i dont have a boyfriend etc etc :))) #but yeah it's so like. i love him and i wish i could tell him all abt me #and it makes me really sad that i cant do that anymore. like i used to tell him everything. idk its all different now :( #anyways oopsies so sorry for the oversharing dump umm hello i love u + youve done more for me than youll ever know seriously xx

[hmsmilkbone]

honestly. I don't really have a lot of interest in jjk anymore, which is super frustrating as the story foundation is really interesting. I have my favorite characters, and I'm not really interested in reading beyond this point.

As a whole, I'm not a huge fan of dropping stories just because they don't go the way you want. In general I personally try not to do this, but stories where the author clearly hates the material or the audience so much they're willing to destroy the story to do so are not enjoyable. I really don't think gege even really likes writing jjk anymore.

There may be some change that I hear about months from now where something worked out one way or the other, but in general I feel like this story is not going to resolve in a way that feels like reading it was a worthwhile experience. And like, for good OR bad. Not every story has a happy ending, but this is really not particularly interesting and I don't feel the need to continue a story where the writer isn't even interested in what happens or how it advances anything outside of their personal pettiness. Feels very much like grr Martin. All the meaningless death and abuse without any real redeeming qualities.

I'm trying to remind myself that not every author wants to be a storyteller. Not every story is good. It's ok to read stories that aren't the best simply because you want to see where it goes, but gege isn't superior in some way, and i dont 'trust that he's cooking'. Even if the story turns around in an interesting or strategic way, I really am not particularly impressed. Ordinarily I would stay along for the ride, but I can't bring myself to care about something even the author doesn't care about. :/

#jjk spoilers #idk i really just dont have any expectations anymore #i love reading books apart from manga and ive had to put down a few because they felt like this #and i have almost always found that in the end my perception of the author and their story was accurate #it makes me sad seeing this unfold in this way #but the shibuya arc which is apparently the least ljked arc in the series #is stretching on forever and people arent enjoying it #anecdotally ive seen a lot of people drop the series #and eventually its just gojng to be all the grimdark losers who unironically love shit like this #it just feels very much like a story for men who hate people #it feels like all the weirdos who made the joker their personality and all the dudes who cant breathe without talking about fight club #or like.. say shit about how the liberals are ruining media like thats the kind of person i see talking about jjk most of the time now #using slurs and not even having intelligent conversations about what's happening #the conversation is usually 'sukuna mid no cap' 'are you stupid gojo is mid stop copium' #and that exchange is repeated over and over like. you have nothing else to add at this point? #i mean i know its primarily bc honestly there really isnt any depth to the story beyond that but my god #what an insufferable way to write or receive a story #and honestly!! i really dont feel like jjk fits into a kids story category at this point #so i do actually feel ljke it is reasonable to expect better writing #not that stories aimed toward kids are bad but one piece is a good example of a story geared more towards children or young adults #adults CAN enjoy it but oda intentionally does not make the story so upsetting that kids cant read it and feel reflected in the events #but jjk is very very different and i think the drop in the quality of writing is reflected in the growing toxicity of the fanbase #anyways.. if you read jjk & youre feeling upset its ok to step away and check in once a month when you can mentally / emotionally prepare #i had to enforce a no read/watch accountability pact with my friends because it was making their depression worse again #no story is worth your health. gege does not give a flying fuck about you. you need to take care of yourself. #im just enjoying my sandbox with the characters and when the story is over ill check back in #theres no right way to experience the story but if its not healthy for you #you wont miss anything by unplugging #and you may find that you really dont want to get back into it when you read it again to check on the story every once in a while #jjk 237

[hecksupremechips]

Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over

Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰

#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually #very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds #like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd #but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga #and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit #and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’ #which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road #its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16! #he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control #which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’ #so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way #like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health #i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to #be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident! #so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game #is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me #cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused #but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone #like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways #and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed #but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child #shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING #HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY #like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work #apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs #his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be #better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy #and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad #how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel #makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired

[snailune]

wiki how do I stop spiraling about my life once every 2 weeks I'm getting sick of it

#personal #i just want to make things so bad #it hurts to even look at something anyones made bc im not doing it #i started so late and its still so hard. i got months without doing anything bc im just exhausted from daily life #if i spend more time with my girlfriends i feel like im closer to them but then i have no time for art #if im making something im spending less time with them #and i like my job so much. i really do. i even considered just saying fuck it and going into library sciences #but i still come home barely able or willing to talk sometimes. and i dont know how to fix that #and i feel so unfulfilled and extremely lonely even tho i have friends #but i can barely get myself to draw or write even when i have so many ideas #i feel so uncomfortable in my body and so tired of trying with therapists and doctors #all of it makes me so anxious i feel sick #so Frustrated i feel dizzy. and then i still cant do anything!!!! #i dont want to live here anymore i just want to be with everyone else. but everyone is moving away or planning to. us included #but no one in the same place. it makes me so sad #i dont know what to do or how to do it when i dont have motivation to do the bare minimum #maybe i just like torturing myself by thinking i can do the things i want instead of aceepting i cant. :/ cringes #for anyone that has somehow read this far ill be ok in like 20 minutes im just having a moment dw. im fine. will handle it like an adult #and not spend to much time thinking about this

[taegularities]

Rid I'm so sad that you're receiving this hate but for me you're one of the kindest people in here. I'm always rooting for you. Sending hugs. 🥰

thank you babe, i think i needed to hear this.. you're the sweetest, all the hugs back 🥺🤍

#dunno if anyone will read the tags but to be fully honest.. someone said it just yday but #it just sucks feeling so lonely bc so many ppl here seem to be in groups and also hate me? i know i cant be liked by everyone that's okay #but all this hate?.. n i see people interact and be friends n stuff and im in my corner here and just extremely lonely #mutuals don't really interact w me either :') and then i always feel awkward and weird bc i think nobody WANTS to be my friend #which used to be different. maybe i deserved it idk #but yeah very lonely and very “everyone hates me” feel and makes me not rlly wanna do tumblr and writing anymore which is why i might close #this blog after cmi :( n wow i think ive never said it that openly and maybe ill delete it all again ufjdjfud ive just been Sad about this #idk i just hate constantly asking myself 'does anyone still care or like me at all' it just sucks #i'm saying all this n anons will once again find a way to send hate lol. just made tumblr very not comforting for me.. and yeah. anyways #thank you to you guys who still send so much love. when i say it means a lot i truly mean it bc it's always nice to know that ppl are still #here 🤍 #notes for rid 🌹 #anon

[maddy-ferguson]

the way i was devastated after vol2 aired lol, and i couldn't sleep for hours bc the vol was so shitty. but now, if s5 turns out to be shit af, i would just laugh. gotta respect the character development here bc i dont give a fuck anymore.

i walked around with a stomachache for a good 48 hours like it was really bad for me...if s5 turns out to be shit af i will walk around with a stomachache for 96 hours🙏

#ask #this said less than 96 for 21 seconds i was like that doesn't seem right #no but like #i get why some twt bylers who are wil stans first act like will getting a happy ending at all/will getting a boyfriend/will's romance arc #being good is all that matters and like that #can be done without byler being endgame because that shit fucking hurt like 48 hours isn't that long but it was SO BAD #obviously i'm team might as well have fun for two (lol) years instead of being like omg what if it doesn't happen. but it's also because i #literally haven't doubted byler since like...july 10th maybe #and when you're a twt byler whose faith in byler depends on like whether or not they like will enough to not do this to him and to give him #a nice boyfriend or whatever and you barely consider mike's side of things i see why you'd try to convince yourself that another outcome #CAN be great. when like..it cant be great they already had will fix mlvn's relationship were past will getting a random bf and mlvn endgame #and yk it's one thing to move on with your life and not be a hardcore byler anymore or to be like i don't like it that much anymore but #some of them really started being like you're sooo dumb for thinking that byler ever stood a chance😂😂😂😂 (ithoughtthattoofiveweeksago) #they're gonna give will a nice boyfriend and it's gonna be great😂😂😂👍 yeah keep telling yourself that... #but yeah i kind of get it because i wouldn't want to have to go through volume 2 all over again either lmao #but also i don't because well #they're wrong #and i'm a byler who's a will stan who also happens to use twitter frequently #as for the rest of the show well if it's bad i'll be disappointed #but my stomach probably won't hurt because of how sad it's making me #or maybe it will it's not unheard of

[justinefrischmanngf]

i need to stop giving people my instagram i think like it’s not conducive to appearing in people’s lives and then disappearing i think i should start a number/email/letterboxd only policy because i am in such a good place to meet people and then just disappear and that’s all i need from life rn and instagram is hindering me massively in that i’m literally going to start doing this

#the best interactions with people i ahve had since moving have been people who i have spoken to completely openly to and then we have never #spoken again #this is not true i get to see vicky and that’s lovely and i also have made another friend so that’s been good #but generally like idk i just dont want to be tethered to anything i dont really want #i am always going to be tethered to my family and for so long i was tethered to ballet #i just dont want it anymore i want all my moving to be my choice not my parents #the longest i have ever lived in one house is 4.5 years #how could i possibly be expected to stay in one place after all that #i just feel this incredible barrier between me and anyone except like 2 people #i cant connect to anyone and insteadof being upset about it i just feel crazy #i’m not sad or put out over it it is just how it is for me sometimes #and i do need to reply to the people i care about but at the same time it’s like what’s the point #what’s the poitn when i just feel so disconnected fundamentally from nearly everyone i have ever known #and the thing is i do want to flit in and out of peoples lives it’s not even like i want to change this #i had a beautiful conversation with this man the first week i was in uni and he was incredible to speak to and i hope i offered him some of #that too and neither of us made any move to exchange any contact details or even our names #and THATS what i want that’s what i want from my life rn #which is maybe bad for me but i think it’s all i have in me rn #which is not true really i’m not going to stop talking to my friends and im not going to not make friends probably #but it’s such a gorgeous idea and i AM good at it i am good at talking to people once and then never again #i can do that

[munamania]

something that makes me feel guilty is the fact that seeing that persons face rn literally makes me angry. they walked into class and i nearly winced. and in all fairness they were quite kind to me. outside of the several kind of odd red flags. girl whatever. to be quite frank i am a horny bastard and vocal proud etc but few people interest me enough to actually want to hang out with and get to know And i have deep seated intimacy issues so it's like. we really dont have a shot unless the circumstances r exactly right on a full moon perfect thursday of a month etc like. well and tbh i probably would have fucked around with this person but i dont... care... about some big relationship w them.. and i know i could be a relationship girl like eventually i have it in me to have a muse that's what im built for i think idc but not rn... rn i need to hang out with my friends and do my film stuff and have people that maybe wanna make out sometimes is that so much to ask for. for a lesbian at a bar to want to make out perhaps. ** for there to be lesbians at the bars to potentially make out with.

#and i am quite lonely yes thank u for asking. yeah someday id love to get to know someone again in the context of falling in love #what about it. so what now. i dont think im meant for our understanding of romantic love but boy do i crave it #why am i having this moment rn. well ok consider im on my period all i could think about this morning was [redacted] and both parties #of my dyke drama were back in class today. and the one gay person that i think has a crush on me but we dont see each other super often #so im just. guessing based on the way awkward lesbians communicate. idk #and i feel really just mean but i quite literally dont have it in me to pretend to be nice to this person anymore #i wasnt like. some villain for realizing we were acting really coupley and being like oh shit because i didnt want to hurt them #. and trying to communicate and put some distance between us when i thought they were probably in too deep. it's unfortch it took me a sec #but jesus christ yk i cant walk around and feel awkward about it forever. and im frustrated by the fact that we're just acting so odd #but again frankly i think it's largely bc they have an unhealthy relationship with dating. THROWING HORIZONTAL PUNCHES HERE. #OK. STONES FROM A GLASS HOUSE. IM AWARE. REAL RECOGNIZES REAL. #and YET. despite my past insanity. ive been kind. i can understand disappointment and a little awkwardness #but jesus would you rather i pretend to be in love with you for months and then really break your heart. #this is where i get mean and make a joke like well hey if we couldve had weird really mediocre sad angry dyke sex abt it #that would have been cool with me. but alas. we're here instead and it's fucking with my friendships too #and like we were kind of ok friends too. what now. its just u me and this brick wall u built between us bitch #now was EYE not answering texts for a minute. we dont need to get into it. #because the thing IS if i dont play things exactly right. and im not good at that without prior planning. i will accidentally say or do #something that i know. again. from being insane myself. would be just enough for them to hold onto hope #and im not trying to do that to them you know. i was trying to help with the detachment. shitty as it may be. i dont fucking know dude #this post is going to make me look kind of. well. whatever u guys have seen me at my worst. mostly. and post #ok one last thing sorry if this makes me sound like i have a giant ego. like wow heres this person who really liked me and im just shitting #all over them. not what im meaning to do but whatever

[wickershells]

txt

#i just dont really know what to do. my friends never express concern for me and they never tell me they love me without overt irony or some #watering down of the sentence. they never reach out when i need them and everything they say is so detached and distant and cold #and maybe im just in my head again maybe its getting to the time of year when my life routinely falls apart moreso than all the other month #but i feel so abandoned all the time. and stupid. and unloveable. my friend once told me that her love for me would erode #whenever i vanished for mental health reasons so i stopped vanishing and started instead pushing through the illness and opening up more to #her but it was too much for her to handle and all my baggage almost ended our friendship so here i am vanishing again except this time with #the debilitating knowledge that every day she loves me less and less and less. if i am not there she stops loving me and if i am she stops #loving me. what do i do. my illness takes everything from me every damn thing. she wont call me but she bought a ticket to see me in januar #and i cant reconcile it. shes visiting her girlfriend and its the same price to come over here too so i guess why not. its not really #for me. we dont have plans to do anything for my birthday and i doubt she will offer and i dont want to be the one to do so like last year #i want someone to love me without me asking them to. i want to be able to trust people without having it broken. i want to feel like an #equal and not so inferior all the time. i'm not her best friend anymore. she doesnt tell me personal things she doesnt share everything #she used to with me. i try and try to start doing the things we used to but she doesnt do them. i shared my location again but she didnt #share hers. so i stopped again and she didnt even ask me why. she has not asked if im okay in weeks. if i vanished forever i dont think #she would even notice. i cant see her mourning the loss of me. i dont think i matter that much to her. and it is so painful #with both of my best friends i watch them gladly do things with other people and never do things with me unless i beg. i am constantly #excluded from their lives i am the outsider friend. and it is so damn lonely. and every time i'm presented w the opportunity to make new #friends i'm paralysed w fear because how many times have i lost people. i'm either too little or too much or both at once. constantly absen #or constantly sad and it's poisonous i feel poisonous. i'm not fit for community despite how desperate i am for it i just feel perpetually #undeserving. and so stupid and unsuccessful in comparison to them. i'm too much effort to be around and i get why i really do #even this it's just so much heaviness all the time i am such a burden. they just don't love me as much anymore. love lost #added to my family baggage and my dead childhood dog and the nothingness of my future i just can't see myself continuing i don't know what #to do. my parents don't support me my friends are never there the nhs is a joke i am actually genuinely alone lol #what if i can't recover. some people are destined not to. what if that's me. what if i am never happy. i'm never going to accomplish #anything i'm stuck here. stagnant and unmoving. the most disposable and useless person alive #sorry. will delete later as usual. but for reasons stated above i have nowhere else to put these thoughts #and i am drowning in them #vent

[silouvertongues]

i miss louis sm

#so weird earlier i felt sad bc i dont get super excited about things anymore like i feel kinds disassociated #and it was making me sad bc i wanna be excited about louis things always hes my baby forever #and then i suddenly just got the most insane wave of missing him and i cant wait for next week its gonna be fun and cool #lile at this point there's no use stressing over things that arent Right he's doing what he's doing and im gonna enjoy it the way it is yk #like ive got too much going on rnto sit here and nitpick the negative aspects when this is the one thing that I really really enjoy #at the end of the day louis seems proud and excited and i am too ! #cant wait to see him and hear him and all of that <333

[skeletalheartattack]

i was able to get twilight princess wii version working on the dolphin emulator. it was a little tricky though. certain actions like catching fish required me to map a specific button to do the wiimote wiggles the game wanted. also there were graphical issues that i had to download a mod or something to fix. but. other than that i was able to play it! so theres an option for ya

sadly the issue i always run into isn't gameplay-related, it's usually performance related, since my laptop is roughly from 2007 or so. most games i try to emulate that are within the range of gamecube-ps2 era (and anything beyond) usually run below double digit frames.

#ask #catboygirljoker #hence why id rather a physical copy than emulation in this case #ik i can probably mod my wii but. id rather not ruin my wii honestly #my old laptop was able to handle emulation really well #when i played animal crossing city folk. i modded the entire controls to an xbox controller (since its a wii game) #and i had a button used for enabling wii cursor movements (for typing and using my inventory) to the joystick #which. honestly feels better to use for typing with a controller? like you hold R1 and move the joystick around and press A #which. makes me wonder why no ones tried it for current age typing with controller(?) #i dont have any new consoles so for all ik they already do that #but yeah. ive tried playing games im absolutely itching to play from my childhood but cant due to my hardware issues #it makes me want to implode honestly #the curses of having a laptop that does. okay at most things. but playing games isnt one #especially in a field where game devs dont really care too much about the person with the laptop from two decades ago #its sad but. i cant do anything about it #i cant even play current day gmod for example. i have to resort back to gmod 12. #which is a little saddening because some old addons (like playX) dont work anymore for gmod 12 #most ive been doing in gmod 12 is just personalizing it for myself. have a stupid joke where i call it gammy's mod 2001 xp vista #had like 4 people ask me what it was #i only have CSS and HL2DM ''mounted'' atm. tf2 would be such a pain to port honestly. #primarily because gmod 12 is a sourcemod so it doesnt actively look for file directories. instead it looks in source sdk base 2007 #so you gotta copy all your files from those games there. and i dont have lots of space #anyway i really do appreciate your ask!!!! my situation is just. complicated.

[gonfrees]

seems like we are at the crying part of the illness.

#we can postpone cjristmas #gonna talk in da tags for a bit because a post full of perosmal info feels so gross #ive been crying on and off for hours. km so upset being atuck in my fucking room with covid while nobody else is sick at all #and im glad nonody is sick im just so fucking lonely #started symptoms on friday #twsted neg fri and sat. didnt test sundah cause i dont have a lot. tested monday and was psorive #literally slept with my bf all of those nights #shared weed pen on sunday with ofher roommate #nobody else is sick #i just feel so sad and tired. im used to himan or cat affection daily and ive had none. i feel so lonley and trapped #i did everythjng right to avoid being sick and my bf was also with me that whole day and he didnt get sick #i feel stupid weak and pathetic for gettinf sixk. i dont have symptoms anymore but atill positive #im so fucking sad and i can hear people hanging out and they are havjng fun and im glad but im jealous #im so sad and lonely. i want to wrap things for christmas and do more stockjng sruffer shopping. i want to watch movjes with people #i love holidays because i love to hang out with my friends and i fucking cant amd today especially its really tearing me up #my bf is upset that im no communicating and hes trying to cheer me up but everything is making me misribke and i dont know how to stop it #i like to do things for people when theyre sick and i know everyone isnt like me but it hurts to not have that done for me #offering to order food is nice bjt j want skmething made for me but nkbody is as good as i am at making things and i dont want to ask #i dont want to bother people but im literally breakkng down today. cant atop fucjing crying and i feel weak and pathetic. stupid #i tried so hard not to get sick and they are saying o dont want to fucking do that #id rather everyone open stockjngs and do presents without me because im tired of not saying what i got people i want tk show people #i like wrapping gifts and nobody wants me to toich anything because of cocid so others are wrapping things from me for me #i dont know its all very stupid but i feel very alone but also dont want people joking at me to make me feel better. im just mad and sad #ok im done now:) ill post a drawing later #nap time #text

[sexybabystevie]

this is to ONE PERSON and one person ONLY. if you're confused, it's not you!

#you know. i saw you posted today from a different account. and it was one i totally forgot about #i didnt even feel like running back this time. was i curious? yes. did i end up looking? yep. #im saying this even though im 98% sure you cant see it but whatever. since when has that stopped me before? #you seemed fine. to say seeing that didnt piss me off would be a lie. oops i guess #i think its funny how the last thing you posted was stolen from me. #today it was one of those tag games we used to do together. your taglist was empty with some excuse of being absent on this app #i cant help but wonder if thats really all of it. if thats the whole story or not. i have a feeling the answer is no #i dont think youll ever understand the impact of what you did to me and the ways that you treated me. how that immensely fucked me up #or how youve basically thrown me to the wolves ever since you emotionally checked out. #you act like i never mattered to you and its been like that for forever. i made so many excuses on your behalf that i never should have. #these days the thought of you makes me go insane. the kind of insane that leaves me up all night and makes me wanna scream at the top #of my lungs. i have been consumed by anguish and hate. yes. im not afraid to say it anymore. i hate what happened and what you did to me #and sometimes i even hate you. and i dont even feel bad about it. im so over that because if theres anything i deserve after this hell then #its the capability to hate. for once in my life. #i saw your post and wondered if you thought of me. and i hope you did. i hope you thought of me and at the very least it stung. #because whether you want to admit it or not i was someone good. i bent over backwards for you every other day. try finding someone to do #everything that i did for you that you never appreciated. try finding someone who will care as much as i did about someone who couldnt be #bothered to tell me happy birthday. i dare you. because im tired of being sad that youre not here. im tired of being the one whos mourning #im so over it actually. because really i did so much for you. i gave up so much to be a good friend and it was never enough. i genuinely #cared about you. im not going to torture myself anymore by overanalyzing your posts or by thinking that i was nothing to you #because in one way or another youll miss me. and i hope the feeling is hell. #in the wise and paraphrased words of taylor swift. karma only comes back around to those who deserve it #in other words ill be fine #em speaks #tw vent ish #sorry to everyone else although i applaud you for being nosy lmao. gotta have my girlboss moment <3

[allylikethecat]

ok so how are we…

If this is about the new Taylor album...

The feelings are complex and they are not good. I don't want to upset anyone though because I know that a lot of people are enjoying the album and I love that for them!

I will just say I was personally really disappointed by it, and I was going into listening to it thinking this was going to rekindle my love for her, instead it was kind of the opposite. I've been a fan of hers since the debut album, but started to distance myself when all the really intense craziness happened last year. I was so excited to be blown away by the album and just... wasn't which then led to this whole identity crisis because liking Taylor was always "my thing" the number of texts I got today from people I don't talk to regularly or haven't talked to in a while was actually insane, everyone was like "are you so excited!!" and "don't you love it!!" while my close friends were like "I'm sorry." I feel so dramatic and parasocial saying that though.

I saw a review on Stereogum that I think did a good job putting a lot of the same thoughts I had into more concise words. Maybe it will grow on me, but every time I try to do another listen I end up skipping to the next song halfway through.

Sorry for bringing the mood down! I hope you're doing well and had a great Friday! I appreciate you checking in and hope you have a lovely weekend!

❤️Ally

#allylikethecat #ask ally #anon ask #keep it kind #tw taylor swift #this is just my opinion!! #i dont mean to upset anyone and i dont mean any harm #i was just disappointed because like i feel like the album could have been so much better #and felt very let down #also not gonna lie i did feel for matty but im glad his people said hes doing well #also i hope joes mental health is getting better #what makes me REALLY MAD though is that i even kinda felt bad for Travis? like i cant stand him but wow id feel weird if my gf #released an entire album about being obsessed with her ex like she put out that tweet saying she was much happier and the past was the past #but like still this was like a lot #not even just one album but TWO ALBUMS #idk i just im sad im disappointed and i wish i could go back this time last year and how excited i was about her music #i have tickets to see her in august and i dont even know if i should go anymore #like im feeling so weird about it all im like should i sell them so someone who loves her like i used to can go? #idk

[be-good-to-bugs]

when i feel very lonely i get fizzled out of doing anything after less than an hour

#the bin #been feeling much more lonely since moving into this apartment and i cant draw bc of it #cause i have trouble continuing things i was drawing earlier. when i try im filled with this horrible exhaustion and sadness #its easier to feel better when im living more alone because i can play music or walk around and talk to myself and try to make things #brighter for me but when im living with someone especially someone who i really dislike its just impossible to do #and worse i have to hear them be here which just makes me feel even worse #ugh. my relationship with my sister has gone from bleh to awful. her absolute refusal to take me into consideration for anything including #bringing people over at nogjt without even telling me at all. the last straw. absolutely the last straw #hey yknow id love it if in the middle of the noght when i want a snack and dont wanna get all dressed id like to know theres someone here #cause id rather not them need the bathroom the same time and im just in my underwear. but noooo i dont have the need to know theres #some other person in my facking home. nope not my right #the thing where she insists she tells me that she was gonna have someone over when she didnt has been pissing me off a lot because she #uses the fact i have a poor memory to say why actually i misremembered..shes like well ur perception of reality sucks so u THINK u #remember correctly but actually u totally dont but like. im not having problems rememberi g other things like that right now. and i #distinctly remember these conversations and i always make not of when someoens gonna be here and when you tell me i remember #and theres so much proof that she also forgets stuff. but i honestly think she might be intentionally lying abt it because she forgot #to ask or didnt want me to say no. well i am saying no. idc if theyre already here. yall can go hangout elsewhere bc i wasnt told abt tjis #and i deserve to have quiet in my own home. its literally all i have. #ive been feeling like maybe shes not so bad. people grow and change and sometimes you dontjat in different directions #and you dont get along well anymore. i hear her say to other people that im still her favorite person so its very one sided abt this #honestly though its not just that we dont get along well anymore but nobody is at fault because she is at fault #its not like i never let her bring people over. i do. im just askingmthat im notified first. and her response to forgetting or choosing not #to tell me is to use my mental health things against me to say im just too mentally ill to knoq if i remember tnings cleatly #then how come tnis only ever happens with this thing or cleaning stuff? it ONLY rver happens with stuff that she wouldve needed to tell me #about that are important. oh an important bill i needed to know abt but u didnt tell me? i did but u forgot. #but never anything else. its only ever tnings that she would be in the wrong for not telling me about if she hadnt. thats it #so yonow im thinking maybe. u didnt tell me. which wouldnt blther me so much if she didnt just say actually i did but ur schizophrenia #made u forget wow ur so insano haha #ugh. she sucks. literally dont even wanna built legos with her even tho the set is cool as fuck bc being around her sucks #wow sorry for my many many many tags complaining about my sister. living with her is awful :/