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imgae-insertshockedgasps-16 · 3 months

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humans are space orcs

imagine someone with chronic joint pain, whose dream their whole lives has been to go to space and meet the aliens and be a scientist and learn

so they look up the requirements as a kid and go "fuck."

they wouldn't make the cut.

their dreams are dashed. hopes ruined. lifelong dre destroyed.

except....

they've never really said a whole lot about their pain. they don't particularly like doctors, and they think that they've been managing just fine, so they never saw the point.

so maybe... maybe if they just don't say anything, they can make it to space.

they spend all of their time training. doing physical therapy exercises so that their joints aren't so loose, soaking up as much scientific and mathematical knowledge as they can, teaching themselves to push through the worst of it in pursuit of their dream.

and they make it.

they make it to space! it was gruelling, tortuous work, but they made it!

their first mission is an exploratory one, with a diverse crew which only has one other human.

they're thrilled.

they have dozens of alien friends and acquaintances. they spend hours learning and researching alien planets and cultures. it's everything they've ever wanted!

but

it's exhausting.

they're in more pain than they've ever been, more frequently than they ever have.

they keep up their exercises as best they can, but even those are often too much.

they smile when asked if they're alright, tell everyone that "i'm fine! just tired."

but they need a break. they can't imagine going or being sent back to earth, this is their home now, with these people, on this ship. but they don't know how much longer they can take this.

one day, on their day off, a fellow researcher comes and knocks on their door.

"are you here?"

"not today islith."

"but we've been called! there are some exciting new discoveries that need further cataloging and investigation, and carlmoth thought you would enjoy the task!"

"i can't today, islith."

"are you ill?"

"...kind of? but i'll be right as rain tomorrow. it's my day off anyhow."

"nonsense! you should go down to medbay!"

"i'm alright, i promise."

"you get out here right this minute or i'll report you to medbay myself!"

"no!" there's a series of crashes and thumps, and then they open the door.

"oh, you look awful. come on, you really must need medbay, what if you're contagious." islith tries to grab them but they shy away.

"i'm not contagious, i promise."

"how can you possibly know that? what if you picked it up from a sample, or, or, garfon has been sick recently! humans can't survive cerian sicknesses-"

"i didn't catch something from garfon, islith," they sigh and open the door wider. "come in and let me explain."

"alright, but if i think you should go to medbay afterwards then i'm taking you there."

"sure, islith."

islith enters, notices the piles of clothes, rumpled bedsheets, the lights are off and the port window shut.

"what's wrong?"

they sigh again, "my body doesn't work like it's meant to, islith."

islith is wildly alarmed, "and you said there was no need for medbay?!? come with me right now and-"

"no! i can't, islith, you don't understand."

"then explain it to me."

"i've... always been this way, although it's gotten worse as i've gotten older. my body, it just isn't built quite right, there's something wrong with it that makes it not work properly and hurt often."

"you're right, i don't understand. why can't you go to medbay?"

"i'd... be thrown off the ship."

"what?!?"

and so they tell islith a story about a young child whose dream was to touch the stars.

"and now, it's too late. i'd get in huge trouble for lying to the government, especially for so long."

"well- but- but humans are so resilient! you hear all the stories!"

"not every human is the same, islith. some of us are born disabled, and some of us get hurt in accidents, just like any other species."

"well, then, well there must be something we can do?"

they look up in shock, "we?"

"of course we, you ridiculous creature," islith said with a fond sigh. "you didn't think i'd leave you to suffer, would you?"

"but, you could get in so much trouble!"

"that's alright, i don't mind. what else are friends for? and, anyway, we don't have to tell your government, we can tell mine."

"but i'll-"

"we don't have any rules like that. any of us who are disabled can still manage in space just fine with the right support, and i bet you could too."

"i- islith- i don't-"

"don't worry, we'll all back you when it comes down to it. you're out teammate, our family. no one on this ship wants to watch you leave because of something you can't control. now come on, let's talk to glidlep in medical, she'll understand."

and for years, things continued on that way, until eventually it was an open secret that the human with the exosuit was disabled and not technically allowed onboard.

and down the line, when nasa found out and was furious, the entire ship and more stood by their side.

#anyway i need to go cry now #humans are space orcs #humans are weird #humans are deathworlders #humans are space australians #disabled #disability #disability in space #chronic pain #chronic illness #chronically ill #joint pain

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oscconfessions · 2 months

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TRANSFEM TISSUES PROPAGANDA ATTACK!!!

why do another nonbinary arc when you can do the transfems justice? sure, we already have lightbulb, but lightbulb happened in between seasons and it was never even canonized! wouldn’t it be great to finally make the transfems happy and give the world an actual transfem arc?

tissues is easily one of the contestants i have the most problems with. firstly— the way their sickness is made fun of when it’s genuinely a disability. let’s add more to this walking ableist stereotype and build on that! make them have niche interests— since they’d probably be bedridden a lot, maybe make them a super geeky person! make them like fandoms and spending their time drawing fanart for their favorite shows— make them have super geek freakouts when they learn someone else has heard of their favorite obscure anime!! make them an enjoyer of horror media, or make them an otaku!! make them indulge in media so that they can imagine themselves in a world where no one makes fun of them for their condition!

my next point is to make them have an arc where people realize that there’s more to them! have one of the new contestants reach out despite their illness! make them learn all about who tissues is, make them learn about tissues’ rich inner worlds that they’ve built up to escape the reality of their sickness. make them become really close with tissues and make them share their interests with them as well. make them open up to eachother— i could see this happening with cabby or clover, maybe even tea kettle! …and then have one of the older contestants refer to tissues as “the sick one”, or some other dismissive term that references only their condition. make tissues’ friend angry at that contestant for only seeing tissues for their disability, make them yell at that contestant and let them fucking rant. and make tissues be in the background, hearing all this and realizing that they… really don’t deserve to be treated like that, do they? make them realize that all this time they’ve been trying to escape when in reality, they can stand up and fight. just like their favorite heroes do. just like their friend did for them.

(btw its very important that their friend is a girl i should mention this)

let them get more confident over time, starting with them glaring at people who joke about their condition. then have it escalate into them taking a stand against anyone who says mean shit against them— have them tell people off for being ableist fucks (not words used in the show most likely) and make their friend be proud of it. make them grow closer with their friend over the course of the show, and have a scene where the two are alone. tissues would ask “…what’s it like to be a girl?” their friend would be a bit confused, but would explain it to the best of their ability. “…huh.” their friend asks why they asked “…i know… that some people don’t feel like the gender they were born with… and i always kind of identified with that.” “i was wondering because… because i felt strange about being a man. and i… i feel exactly like what you said.” Have their friend realize that. oh this guy is a girl actually. Have them offer the best advice they can, whether it be analytical or motherly or even a little awkward. and i want tissues to feel inspired to change. i want tissues’ title to change from The Sickness to The Adapter. someone who can change and grow no matter the situation— if only they try.

please consider this

-🥜🪶

#confession #/ii #/ii/tissues

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ghostsandfools · 1 month

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Gemini is so neurodivergent I don't know how nobody's talking about it.

OKAY, strap in, this one's gonna be long, and it's gonna be ranty, and I'm going to do it anyways.

Gemini is probably my favorite character... EVER. They are so perfect, I love them so much, I will die on this hill. They are the one constant for me. In this crazy, overly controversial fandom, in this crazy, overly controversial world, we all have one thing we can count on: Gemini. AND THEY GET SO LITTLE SCREENTIME! But that's not why I'm here.

So, almost everyone in TSBS has signs of some sort of mental illness or neurodivergency. This is not new. But I really wanna get into it with Gemini because I feel like nobody cares enough about them!

So, I'm going to split this up into parts. One for Pollux, one for Castor, and one for Gemini. Just to make it easier. LET'S GO!

Pollux:

So, Pollux. The first signs start to show with her when she was first introduced. She's hyper, she's unfocused, she's friendly, she's all over the place. These are very stereotypical, very basic signs of ADHD. HOWEVER, I actually DON'T think she has ADHD. I think she's just hyper sometimes. ADHD is much more that just being a little off the walls, it's a genuine disability that makes it difficult to focus or remember things, and I feel like if you dig deeper, that's not what's going on with her.

I do think that she's neurodivergent, however, in some capacity. Probably autism. I think her and Castor both have autism actually, but I'll get in to him later.

First of all, hyperactivity can also be a sign of autism. And while, when she first comes to Earth it seems as though she can't focus on any specific thing, I think that's because she's focused on Earth as a whole, explaining her interest in anything on Earth. I think learning about and exploring Earth might be one of her special interests, or maybe just exploring planets in general.

Now, the next point might just be due to technical issues, but maybe not. Pollux and Castor both have pretty blank faces, and don't have very many emotes. It may have just been a problem with their 3d modelling, so not the strongest point, but neurodivergent people and people on the spectrum often have difficulty with facial expressions, something I've also struggled with.

Pollux definitely has less neurodivergent coding than Castor does, but I think it's still there.

Castor:

Castor. I don't even know where to start with him.

When Castor was first introduced, he was very unexpressive and monotone, already a symptom of neurodivergency.

He also struggles socially, more so than Pollux. While Pollux was over-bearing, she had no trouble making friends once the chance arose. Castor, on the other hand, was perceived by most of the main cast as "creepy" or "rude", which hits closer to home than I want to admit.

But, over time, it becomes clearer and clearer that he only wants what's best. He doesn't intend to be terse, or rude, or weird, he's just never interacted with anyone that wasn't a star before.

Pollux seemed to adjust well to the environment on Earth once she learned more about the people there, but it seems Castor struggled a lot more with adapting in a new environment.

Castor is also a very private person. He has hobbies and emotions and thoughts, but he keeps them all to himself. Of course, after a while of spending time with Lunar, he starts to speak his mind more, which eventually led up to the last episode we saw him in where he yelled at Lunar for killing Eclipse. Still, I find it interesting that it took an extreme situation like that for him to finally speak his mind.

Gemini:

Gemini <3

Pollux and Castor work extraordinarily well together. They are THE siblings of all time, I love them.

I'm going to delve into headcanons for a minute here, but I feel like the other astrals don't like them very much. We never hear Gemini really talk about the other astrals, aside from basic details.

I feel like, after living with people for your entire life, your SIBLINGS, and those being the ONLY people you interacted with, you'd have some fond memories of them.

But they don't. And even now, there's tension between Gemini and the rest of the astrals. They clearly stand out. The other astrals seem to not take them seriously, and don't exactly listen to them. I feel like, from that recent scene from Taurus, maybe the other astrals, at least some of them, actively DISLIKE Gemini.

This may be why they're so unused to socially interacting on Earth. They probably spent very little time with their siblings, especially considering Nebula's existence. Maybe their siblings didn't visit them at all. That thought makes me sad.

Feeling outcasted is commonplace for neurodivergent people, as well as being perceived wrong.

Closing thoughts: Okay, I might be projecting here. I'm not sure. As someone who is neurodivergent, I identify with Gemini harder than any other fictional character. They're so special. I don't know if I'm picking up on subtext that isn't there, but if you have any thoughts, please share. I wanna know what you guys think.

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thelunastusco · 1 year

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Seeing sysmeds/exclusionists/etc say “systems without trauma is like saying PTSD without trauma!” inspires us to bring this thread over from Twitter.

Ignoring the fact that nontraumagenic does NOT mean “a system without trauma”... "System” and “plurality” aren’t diagnosable disorders, whereas PTSD literally is and also has “traumatic” right on the tin. It’s far more accurate to say “systems that don’t form from trauma are like a headache without a concussion”.

You wake up one day with a headache. You know you didn't hit your head. You're not coming down with a cold, and you're both hydrated and appropriately fed. You're not even especially stressed out. But you definitely have a headache.

You're on a phone call with a friend. You mention that you have a headache. "Do you have a concussion?" your friend demands. No, you explain, you don't. They get angry. "Then I don't see why you'd have a headache. You should see a doctor if you actually have a headache."

You leave the conversation frustrated. Maybe scared. So you go to a doctor, if you have a doctor, and talk to them about it. Maybe your doctor listens, and offers testing. Maybe your doctor looks at you strangely and says headaches don't exist. Let's say you're lucky:

You get testing. It shows no obvious reason for your headache. "Well, headaches usually have a cause, some are caused by trauma or illness, but some are idiopathic," your doctor explains and sends you on your way. Maybe with advice on managing headaches better, maybe not. The headaches don't go away.

It's always just kind of there. You do your research, and figure out that your headache is from stress, or from chronic dehydration, or bright lights, or because you’re just prone to migraines, or you’ve got a vitamin deficiency. Maybe you don’t discover any reason. But you know it isn’t a concussion. Still, it affects you. Some days, you need accommodations to make the day easier for you and those around you. You talk to people you know about the headaches, so they're aware of your situation. Some are supportive, and accept it. But some aren't, and don't.

"Surely there's a reason."

"People don't just get headaches."

"You should feel lucky it's not serious."

"You're just trying to get attention."

"I have headaches. They don't work that way."

No matter how much you explain, some just don't accept that you really have a headache. Some insist you must actually have a concussion, or brain damage, even if you know that’s not what’s causing the headaches. They keep insisting that without trauma, or an illness, you can't have a headache. They suggest that maybe you don't remember hitting your head. "But I talked to my doctor," you protest. "I did research on my own. Headaches can happen other ways. There's even words for it."

At best, they ignore you. At worst, they accuse you of lying, or taking up space that belongs to people who really have headaches. You find community with those who believe you, and experience similar headaches.

You're thankful to finally have support. These people believe you, help you, and some become close friends. You try to stick to this community, where you feel safe. Sometimes people still barge in to say your headaches are fake, and you're harming those with real headaches, or taking resources away from people who have concussions.

Maybe you learn to deal with it, maybe not. You don't stop having headaches. No matter how many insist you must have a concussion, or a disorder, or an illness. No matter how many insist you're pretending to have a headache for attention.

This is how it is living as a system who exists outside of the narrow, all-systems-are-traumagenic-with-DID/OSDD box. And the sysmeds/exclusionists shitting on people outside that box? Are as ridiculous as the people in the analogy.

#syscourse cw #syscourse #plurality #multiplicity #endo positive #endogenic systems #sysmeds fuck off #actuallyplural #actuallymultiple #pluralgang

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starry-blue-echoes · 1 year

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Star Swap, thinking about how long it'd take before people found out.

Jotaro in Josuke's place is definitely the fastest to be found out. He does not know how to do the hair. He doesn't even know TO do the hair. Tomoko's clued into something being wrong FUCKING IMMEDIATELY and, especially given how Jotaro's going to respond to her, she's not going to let it rest till she figures it out. And then older Jotaro arrives and uhhhh yeah he's going to recognize the familiar Angst

Josuke in Jotaro's place, honestly unsure. Holly's observant, and would notice right away, but I don't know how much she'd push it, if at all, and then she gets sick, and Joseph, while super observant, hasn't seen Jotaro in a while to be able to have a baseline. I think Josuke would want to tell people, but there's so much going on that nobody can really focus on figuring it out or deciding who/how to tell.

Nobody knew Giorno well enough to tell prior to part 5. It's all down to if Joseph chooses to tell anyone. And honestly... He might. Trish especially, he might as a way of sharing his own experiences to let her know she's not alone in feeling lost and homesick and in over her head.

Giorno's going to try and hide it. Erina and Speedwagon will notice something's up, but not push enough to figure it out. And Giorno's a good actor. Maybe he'll tell Suzie or Caesar some of it eventually, but... It'd be hard for him.

Jolyne, uh. Dio figures out That's Not Jonathan immediately but it's shortly before he used the mask so he's not seen any supernatural shit yet and is supremely confused. He wouldn't know how it happened or how to respond at ALL. And George might take it as a rebellious phase or some shit, given that he's distracted by being poisoned. I could see her telling Erina once she shows up though.

Jonathan has a month at best before he's forced to tell someone. He does not know how to deal with periods in Jolyne's body. He was raised by a single father in the late 1800s. He's going to have to ask Hermes or someone for help, and probably explain why he doesn't know, and thus where/when he's from, in the process. And honestly he probably wanted to tell someone early on, but was taking a minute to settle in and try not to upset his presumed descendant's life and then he got framed and the chaos and he didn't know who to trust at first- he's glad to tell someone.

YESSSSSSSSS

Out of all the Jojo’s, Jotaro is the most fucked about keeping this secret. The morning he wakes up it doesn’t matter what he does, Tomoko is going to be on him in an instant and he has no chance whatsoever at keeping the body swap a secret. Honestly Tomoko might connect the pieces pretty quick and could even confront him in a “who are you and what have you done with my son” way within a day or two of “Josuke” acting off. On the plus side Josuke doesn’t seem to have had….. really any friends prior to Diamond so that’ll make things a bit easier at least.

Thing are DEFINITELY going to be awkward between Tomoko and Jotaro tho. He’ll explain the situation as best he can, but there isn’t much he can offer beyond theories and giving a more in depth explanation of his admittedly limited knowledge about Stands. Both are struggling to figure out What The Fuck Do We Do, but they’d probably end up working together. Admittedly things are still tense, and it only gets worse when 4taro shows up, doubly so when he learns this kid is apparently his grandfather’s bastard son.

(also I can definitely see Jotaro calling Holly at some point. He doesn’t say anything, but just hearing her voice on the other end of the receiver, hearing proof that she was still alive…… it took a weight off his shoulders)

And your thoughts are basically the same as mine when it comes to Josuke. Holly would definitely realize something was wrong, but she wouldn’t have time to tell anybody because of the Stand Sickness. There would also be an added layer to Josuke’s panic because He Can’t Fix This, and seeing her illness from a Stand would ironically remind him of his own sickness when he was a boy. At least the Crusaders have a healer now?

Joseph…… that’s a tricky one. Nobody knows him so they’d have no reason to even suspect anything. Telling Trish would be an interesting idea, but there is also the chance that he just. Never does. Parts of his story yes, mentioning the Pillarmen and his experiences possibly, implying time travel MAYBE, but he might not mention the “I might be possessing a 15 year old’s body”

For Giorno, while he’d definitely be able to get away with it on Air Supplena, Speedwagon and Erina are going to notice immediately. They might be hesitant to push in the beginning because Joseph growing that withdrawn could be seen as something having happened emotionally, but I think eventually they’d put together the pieces that this isn’t their grandson

Jolyne in Jonathan’s body……. That’s going to be pure fucking gold. She does not take ANY of Dio’s shit. Also, I really like the idea of her telling Erina. After all…… she isn’t the man Erina loves, she’s merely inhabiting his body. It would feel wrong to take advantage of her in such a way, especially because of how genuine those feelings seem to be. And Dio figuring it out himself is just 🤌

And Jonathan. Poor, poor Jonathan. Out of everyone he’s going to have easily the hardest time adjusting. And what if the thing with Hermes is just his absolute breaking point. He’s tired and confused and now he’s bleeding and everything hurts and he just wants to go home, so when Hermes asks hims what’s wrong everything just comes crashing down

And Hermes….. was not at all expecting this. Sure ‘Jolyne’ was a little weird, but she’d just chalked that up to that just being how she was, that that was just her personality. But this? Forceful time travel into a body that didn’t belong to them??? Yeah that wasn’t ANYWHERE on the list

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hestusjamsession · 11 months

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I’m currently farming light dragon parts (sorry Zelda) and decided to do a follow up to my last post while I wait.

This list is all Linked Universe baby. Once again, if you know the blogs of some of these authors I’d appreciate it if you could tag them.

1. Linked Universe Age Swap AU by LazuliQuetzal

Let’s kick this off with a bang. This is a series of one shots centered around the Chain being alternate ages. We got Old Man Hyrule. We got Angsty Teen Time. We got Wolfkin Wild. It’s great. Check it out.

2. Dawn of the Fourth by LazuliQuetzal

By the same author, Dawn of the Fourth is one of those fics that I don’t think I’ll be able to do justice, so here’s a snippet:

Wild reached out and brushed a finger across the body’s cheek. Then he licked his finger. “Eleven,” he decided, smacking his lips.

“Hey, what the fuck.”

“Dirt tastes different depending on age—”

“No, don’t explain it! Why are you like this, I hate you so much—“

3. The Man and the Pup by Bubbly_Kandy

Once upon a time, in the magical land of Hyrule, there were eight boys and a man all trying to exist in a world that doesn’t want them.

This one has some serious fairy tale vibes which I love. It’s also kind of dark at times. It’s not finished but maybe if I point enough people towards it the author will pick it up again. Who knows? One can dream.

4. Deserving by @a-little-bit-of-ravioli

When Colin overhears part of a conversation between his father and his adopted big brother, he decides it’s up to him and his friends to protect Link from those wishing to do him harm.

5. Malevolence by @thescrapwitch

Wolfie eats something he shouldn’t and things go downhill from there. Secrets are revealed, friendships are tested, and Ganon is a jerk.

This fic is a masterclass in tension. If you need some heavy angst with a happy ending, this is your fic.

The one shot Wolf Heart by the same author is also very good.

6. Our Nightly Confident by Wisetypewriter

Alternative titles are “Wolfie is the Best Boy” and “Men Will Literally Talk to a Wolf Before Going to Therapy.”

This was one of the first LU fics I read and it’s so sweet. If you’ve liked Lupis Vigilans (coming up) you’ll really like Our Nightly Confident.

7. The Fierce Dadity Series by @skyloftian-nutcase

A series focusing on everyone’s favorite Mask-bound God/Spirit just trying to take care of his favorite mortal.

There’s a lot of fics by Skye that I love and it’s hard to narrow it down. But Fierce Dadity is up there.

8. Brethren in a Cradle by @skyward-floored

After coming across a village raised to the ground, the Chain finds its sole survivor: a baby boy. They quickly learn that there is more to this child than meets the eye.

The “Baby Joins the Chain AU”. Also I always get Skyward_floored and Skyloftian-nutcase mixed up and I would like to make a formal apology.

9. Where Your Meant to Be by @adrift-in-thyme

Malon has lived her entire life in her tower, never seeing the outside world. When a former-hero-turned-thief climbs through her window, her life takes a whole new turn.

The Tangled AU I didn’t know I wanted until I read it.

10. Lupus Vigilans by @pluviatrix

A character study of each of the Chain told from the point of view of Twilight, Hillbilly in Resident.

Wholesome and hilarious and heartbreaking in equal measure, I can’t recommend this fic enough. Also, I’m from the Ozarks and it’s cool to see that accent represented in the wild.

Their other fic, And Still The Cradle Blossoms is also really good if you’re like me and need a good cry at three in the morning.

11. Down by @musashi

When the Chain gets hit by a horrible illness, it’s up to Sky to take care of eight stubborn heroes. Each chapter is focused on a different member, and Twilight’s chapter in particular hit me in the feels.

I love sickfics for some reason and this one is so good.

12. Colors by HylianHarmony

A Four centric fic where he reveals the Colors to the rest of the Chain. Also he has a mind palace which is pretty neat.

This fic isn’t finished but it’s too good not to recommend.

13. Alone Together by Blueskullcandy

Another Four centric fic but told from the point of view of different members of the chain (including Four). The Twilight chapter in particular is worth the read by itself.

This fic is also not finished but I still recommend it. It’s really good.

14. Brothers Becoming by @turtleduckscribbles

After a fight with Twilight, Legend is forced to face his fears and insecurities and confront the one person he wants to avoid at all cost.

Prickly Legend learns to let others in.

15. Not Like You by HylianHarmony

Wind deals with serious imposter syndrome, but the others don’t realize it until it’s almost too late.

This is one of my comfort fics y’all. When I’m down I’ll read it and it always manages to cheer me up. I can’t recommend this one enough.

#Linked Universe #LU #AU #Linked Universe AU #fanfiction #long post #also for those curious I got all of the parts I need except the second fang

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adventuretolkienlover · 11 months

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Hugo's Dynamics with the Tangled Gang

I noticed that a lot of people think Hugo would be at odds with the rest of the Tangled team. Or even straight up disliked by them! But I don't think that would be so. Now keep in mind, these are just my headcannons. But I think this is how it would be. Also, just as a heads up, I prefer Varian and Hugo as really good friends as opposed to lovers. So I'll be using that AU instead. (EDIT: Fixed some Grammer mistakes.)

Rapunzel:

At first, Hugo finds Rapunzel's enthusiasm a bit off setting. But there's one thing that starts the friendship. They are both outgoing. They both like trying new things! And soon they're trying all kinds of things together. New restaurant? They'll check it out! Some sort of new traveling show passing through? Sign them up! Alchemy Convention? Heck yes!

I like to think Rapunzel likes teaching people to paint. And one day, Hugo ducks into her painting class to evade a ticked off Eugene. (Guess who was snooping through his cosmetics again? Lol!) Rapunzel convinces him to stay and help him paint a simple painting of maybe flowers and or his mouse Olivia. Hugo doesn't think he has much artistic talent. But Raps thinks it's adorable! And after that, Raps will give him art tips and lessons every once in a while.

Rapunzel also help him learn how to relax. Hugo can be a bit uptight. And she shows him how's okay to slow down and enjoy life. After a life of being on the run, Hugo needs that. Things like nice rests from the lab in the castle gardens or even just spending time together with the family, (I.e Varian and the rest.) are all on the agenda.

OH! One more thing they have in common! Being manipulated by someone they considered a mother figure. Hugo had Donella and Raps had Mother Gothal!

Eugene:

They don't like each other at first. They're still sore at each other about an old job they did together. Spoiler alert. It didn't work out great.

They are super competitive about all sorts of things. Like, ALL sorts of stuff! Who's got the best sneaking skills. The best sword fighting skills. Who's got better hair.😂 A lot.

And they are definitely competitive when it comes to Varian. Both want big brother privileges! But they don't seem to understand Varian loves them both equally. Eventually they come to an understanding and agree to share big brother duties for Varian's sake.

Their competitiveness does settle down a bit after a while. Eugene realizes the Hugo is actually not that bad. And Hugo realizes that the past is past and Eugene is a different person now. They still have banter. But it's not really ill natured. Just regular dude trash talking.

Cass:

I'm going with a friend on this one. INSTANT FRIENDS! Why you may ask? Let me explain.

They both can give a hard time to people they dislike. And you KNOW they'd gang up on Eugene.🤣 Between Cass's "Fitzjerk" nick name for him and gosh knows what nick names and insults Hugo can come up with, Eugene's in for a ride!

Weapons. WEAPONS WEAPONS WEAPONS! Knives are their favorite. They regularly show off their knife collections to each other. Hugo got really excited to see Cass's. She's got some really high quality knives!

Conversations like this.👉 (Rapunzel: Cass. You cannot take a sword to a ball. Cass: If Hugo can take his knives, I can take my sword. Varian: What?! Hugo: *Grins and somehow pulls three knives out of his sleeves* Rapunzel: No. Definitely not. Hugo: We don't have any fun. Do we Cass?)

I'm pretty sure the two of them have rather controversial views on the royals. And sometimes Varian joins them.

Lance:

Again, INSTANT FRIENDS!

They have all sorts in common! Flamboyant? Check! Love to be fabulous? Check! Still slightly has thief instincts? Check! Love to preform? Check! Drama queens kings? Definitely a big checkaroonie!

Also, I like to think they both have some abandonment issues and are both looking for parental support. Both went almost their whole lives without a good family so... Yeah. Support buddies!

And I think Hugo is inspired by Lance adopting Angry and Catalina. Giving kids the best life possible to make up for the horrible one you had? Yes please! Hugo probably decides to adopt a few of his own someday. And speaking of Angry and Catalina...

Angry and Catalina:

I imagine that when I come to these two, Varian is Catalina's favorite and Hugo is Angry's favorite. And vise versa.

Not saying Hugo doesn't like Catalina. She's very sweet. But Hugo's very... LOUD. In his demeanor and general presence. And a bit brash sometimes.

Because of this though, I think Angry would latch on eventually. Maybe not right away. Because this is Angry after all. But soon enough.

So that's all I got for now! Feel free to reblog and add your thoughts onto this!

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ordonianhero · 1 year

Text

Is Twilight really okay?

So I see tons of folks bring up how they are feeling sus out by if twilight is truly okay

No. He’s not okay, yet.

Warning: discussion of illnesses and injuries.

I get why folks are quick to be Sus of how twilight is. I will sort of explain this the best way I can. Using my own personal experience of what going okay. But note I am not invalidating anyone feelings on their thoughts of twilight and his finally seeming to be recovered.

I can say, I think he was given as much healing as they can provide him. He is not fully 100%. He probably got enough healing he can get. Over time it will heal more. However he is most likely poisoned by dink’s blade. But his wound will never truly heal. He will suffer from it till he last days. Something a lot like what Happened to Frodo in the Fellowship of the Ring. In the end Frodo does die once their task was completed and evil was banished from the land. I suspect this how it will got for Twilight.

More on a personal level, I suffer from chronic pancreatitis*. So I sympathize with how Twilight must be feeling. The aches and pains are unimaginable. However I kept going. Weakness can be strengthened slowly at my own pace. Which what he will have to do. You don’t just drink a potion, get heal with a life spell and can be spring chicken. It takes time. As we can see. There will be a struggle and frustration at every corner cause you want to not be a burden to anyone and be able to function the way you use too. The trauma of it will over time heal as well. He will have to relearn to do things. He won’t be able to fight the way he has done. Rest and recovery is a must. Not pushing too hard. Twilight and Time being related- they both share a stubbornness. So emotionally he will lash out a bit (or not). So I sort of get how Twilight must and will feel.

I know people are quick to be like “angst, angst, angst.” But I think people don’t understand there’s something much deeper to a wound that won’t fully heal, but heals enough. It will be a chronic thing for him. Could he maybe get turned into a puppet for dink and turn on the chain. Maybe, but let’s be more logical and see it as he just won’t be fully healed. However he will continue to fight till their adventure ends and dink is defeated properly. So you are all valid in not trusting him being okay. It just may not be how angsty as you think. Just simply he will never be 100% and that now his struggle will be to learn to handle is medical situation and work around what he can and can not do any longer.

He will still be a down tight magnificent fighter, good hearted gent he is. How just now in a new phase in his situation where he will have to come to terms with his limitations. Which mentally is often hard to come to terms with. For me, I can’t eat a lot of my favorite stuff and knowing when I need to take it easy. Something along those lines. It’s an emotional, physical and mental journey. Which we will be watching as the comic progresses.

That’s my take on how he is and what we will expect as the comic progresses. More then welcome to disagree and think more into things. This just my own view of where things may go.

[* Chronic pancreatitis is similar to acute, but in this case, the inflammation is long-term and won’t get any better. In fact, over time, it tends to get worse and lead to permanent damage.

Chronic pancreatitis will often develop after an episode of acute pancreatitis has already occurred.

]

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu twilight #I Hope using my own medical situation #or invalidate how they think #cause I could be wrong #we shall see #doesn’t rub others the wrong way

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cursedomain · 9 months

Text

Same vine

tw: self harm & depression

I wonder if, when you made those choices, you thought of me. It plagues my mind as of recent, and I couldn't help but ask myself. I mean honestly, maybe I do have my issues and it makes me contradict if I can even as such things.

Satoru was usually on top of the measurement. He made sure you didn't overthink a lot. As of recent, he went on a trip for a week and was being a bit different. He mentioned a new friend, and your heart dropped.

You've had past issues where you couldn't trust people and had gotten cheated on, what made this different? It disappointed him when your trust showed. But could he truly blame you? Yes, and he did.

"You should trust I wouldn't do anything. Isn't it toxic to tell me I can't be friends with her?" Your heart dropped when you heard this. You pushed it more, you felt texting back and trying to push how uncomfortable you were was important.

She flirted with him, and even asked to be his wife when he didn't set boundaries that he didn't think were needed. To this, he responded calling your relationship toxic. You laughed, out of the fact you had been disrespected and outright pushed to your limit.

It was 12 am now. You sat in your bed after he went to sleep. Still states away, what could you really do? You called your friend, Shoko, she heard you out and agreed.

"Why would he back up a girl he just met? That's so stupid. He doesn't understand how easy it will be to make a close relationship and realize he's happier with her than you but that's also because they aren't dating so it's easier to be together." Her voice was annoyed, why would Satoru do this to you?

You and Satoru have been so well, he fixed issues you didn't think you could even fix. He was a good boyfriend and always valued you and your opinion. There were no other girl best friends it was just you, and now he clicked with a new girl, learned her trauma and even told you to stand down. He didn't bother to really know you were upset. It meant nothing as he thought it was toxic.

"You can have other girl friends, but please just not this one." You said this over and over trying to hold back from the sobs. He kept fighting you. Why would he keep talking to her if he knew it bothered you. Would he even care if it was vise versa? You knew you were down for him, but your past issues made you so bothered.

You went to your car, you turned a song on that felt right. You sat there, rereading all of your texts. You were so depressed by this point. You and Satoru have fought consistently, you felt like the relationship was coming to a end. You had now cut your arm multiple times. You knew your depression couldn't handle everything going on.

Soon you texted Suguru, you knew you needed help. As of recent, your grandma had fallen ill, and your boyfriend was states away and he couldn't support you through your consistent issues. You felt alone because this was never something you had gone through.

After explaining everything to Geto, he got upset. He told you that you pissed him off when you do things like this. "You're overthink really pisses me off because it's about the dumbest shit." You were taken about by the hostility in his message. He never would have done this in the past, but as of recent he has been pushing the limits on how he would speak to you. You let it pass usually though because Satoru wanted to make sure he kept friends.

There was a drop in your heart. You couldn't do much you felt so lost. Blood slowly moved from the cuts, you turned the car on and left your home. You couldn't do anything logically now. You needed the distraction so you drove. You and Gojo came from the same vine, you felt it was meant to be, why is this happening?

You didn't trust you were enough or that at this point you would get cheated on and it would be with the new girl best friend. Satoru told you that you knew nothing about her and you shouldn't judge her. Why was he defending her, you sobbed uncontrollably, you couldn't see the road anymore. Your mind was so overwhelmed. You didn't want to even live. You let your relationship control you and now you were stuck.

"So foolish, I thought I followed the precautions and I thought I was secure enough." You said this in between sobs. You wanted to find a parking garage and really ask yourself what you were doing wrong. Your heart hurt so much, your breathing was shallow and your jaw hurt from clenching it too many times. Your friends told you that as of recently, they don't think you've even been happy.

You started feeling drowsy and knew it was best to try and drive home. You knew pulling over for a nap was risky, so you drove home and went inside to your room. The mirror reflected how disheveled you were and your eyes, swollen, showed just how unhappy you were.

You took sleeping medicine and your body reacted poorly, the anxiety was worse and you were now shaking. how could he? You had to close your eyes and ground yourself. Your brain worked against you, making you feel worse wondering how this could happen.

As your body slowly relaxed, you thought about the few times he said reassuring things like how she wasn't around when he went somewhere, but why would he even say those things, he could have removed her from his life and your mind would never feel this. You started thinking about how maybe you were toxic, but that wasn't your fault that he did this to you. It was his fault.

You should've known better. But again, how could you when he drank the poison from the same vine as you?

#jujustu kaisen #twisted love #gojo satoru #jjk gojo #lovers #gojou satoru x reader #jujutsu suguru #jujutsu kaisen suguru #getou suguru x y/n #geto suguru

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nahalism · 15 days

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Have you ever beaten yourself down or felt defected because you couldn’t uphold a routine?

I am going through something like this now. I see people around me who, of course to varying degrees (but some excell in) getting their diet, sleep schedule, studying/working, exercising routine in check, having a plan. And whenever i try, for the love of me, i just cannot uphold it. I can’t be consistent, my brain just doesn’t work like this but i keep hearing that it has improved peoples’ lives so much, developing a routine and sticking to it. And i know me not having one is probably not in my favor (studying whenever i have the ”inspiration” to because otherwise my brain just shuts off no matter how i try to trick myself instead of regularly and smooth sailing through assignments as a result) can’t go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day INCLUDING WEEKENDS can’t eat regularly. So i try to improve myself and chase this but all it does is reflect to me that i am just not able to and it makes me feel even worse about myself. And i personally know people who ARE able to do all of that and i can see it pays off in so many ways, in their life. My thoughts get in the way, my feelings get in the way and they make me pretty much not functional for periods of time and i am not sure if these people experience the exact same „wall” and they consistently push through it or if maybe my wall is just a big higher and stronger than theirs sometimes. I feel like my brain is against me, truly. (Probably relevant to mention that i do have some mental problems overall which could be affecting all i mentioned and the way i function, it still feels so defeating to me)

such a long message, i am sorry. i hope you are love lately x

hey beautiful <3. my reply will be equally as long if not longer so no need to be sorry :)

yes. lol just, yes. ive been through the exact same feelings that you describe and even though i struggle less now, i struggle less only as a consequence of my ability to be kinder and more tolerant of myself, not because ive magically changed into someone different. — ill try to explain what i did to help but ill be honest, theres only ever been one solution for me which is to do the work. its hard, its lonely, no one comes to help, or to save you, they even stop pretend ing to care. people will try to support you, but despite best intentions may fall short or lack the capacity to give you what you actually need. so you have to be the one. you have to carry yourself over the finish line, often at the cost losing things, people and parts of yourself that you think you love and cant do without (its soul wrenching but worth the initial discomfort, i promise). every breakthrough is hard earned and often doesnt even feel like the cherry on the top that its supposed to be. so the only way to find the will to keep going is to enjoy the challenge of the journey and learn to love what choosing to 'carry your own cross' is developing in you.

1) the first thing i had to do was make that cross worth carrying for myself. not because id been told to do it, had to do it, or because 'self care' is important, but because I was priority enough to myself that i found the willpower to see it though. to make that possible i had to understand why i was my number one priority, and then make my actions reflect that. it sounds heroic but it looked like excavating my soul, saying no to anything i didnt want to do, and anything i did out of obligation. that included essays, exams, my job, friends, family. maybe that sounds extreme but i realised that all those things meant nothing if the person who was meant to be showing up for them didnt want to be alive/was in anyway unhealthy, or was so dysfunctional that they showed up as a semi sane version of themselves. my whole personality was a trauma response, and even despite the trauma i had to look at what i was doing to create the circumstances i was unhappy with. going from responding unconsciously to consciously choosing my actions was brutal. all of this sounds empowering but it often looks and feels shambolic & looks like being a fuck up. i literally appeared to the outside world like someone who had gone off the edge and was failing at life. for context, making the choices im talking about led to me retaking a year at uni, being a ghost to everyone and everything in my life, having panic attacks every night because despite feeling like i was doing the right thing i had no evidence it would work and no idea how id make it out & all this lasted for way after i graduated so people were looking at me crazy :). HOWEVER, its also how i learned to draw, how i restored my relationship with myself, how i found the passion and excitement to work toward a goals i had set (not the ones set for me). i also became confident for the first time in my life. like actualll self esteem and self knowledge. i hated being seen or perceived due to things id been through, and still struggle with that now tbh. so when i look at the fuller version of myself im embodying today, the multiple ways ive put myself outside of my comfort zone, (and the versions of me i know are to come) i know that the first steps began with following my gut and taking that initial leap of faith that honoured the truth of who i felt myself to be, not the pattern id been following/living in.

2) that first step is important cause when what you do what matters to you, you gain a different willpower (aka passion) that fuels what you do and why you do it. i spent my whole childhood with e.d's and unable to consistently work out/find working out pleasurable. however once i built a relationship with myself and understood what a body was and why it deserved my respect, working out stopped being about the pressure to be a fine babe, and about desiring mobility, full function of my vehicle and longterm health. i say that to say, sometimes its not that your undisciplined, but that your trying hard at the wrong things. (an undisciplined or inconsistent person doesn't keep trying at things despite failing time and time again...). another way to look at it is — a goat is not meant to be a sheep, nor a sheep a goat. theres nothing wrong with being either, but you have to know which you are. (this takes us back to point one: are the things you put pressure on yourself to do/be/accomplish, authentic to you or are you imposing them of yourself because of pressure/expectation/superficial reasons). if its the later, you cannot wait till you have the answers to change the direction your moving in. you have to pivot, take the next step in the direction that feels purposeful and deeply honest to you, and trust that even though you cant see the whole path, the next step will be revealed as you continue to walk forward. the mental illness doesnt go away, but it fades as your tolerance increases. its not meant to be easy, if you can remember that then you'll be okay.

3) you dont have to do it perfectly. you just have to do it. over time, ive had routines w/ varying success. my overarching interests, goals/priorities are the same, but they fluctuate which means i can struggle with consistency and seeing things through (not cause i dont want to be consistent but i feel like i change so rapidly as a person that i almost forget why i set certain goals for myself and why building the routine/proficiency in skill was important to me in the first place). in this sense, its hard to accomplish a goal if you dont relate to the version of yourself you were when you set it. so part one to this point is, i have to use my quirks to my advantage. i know that i tend to cycle through my interests every 3 months ish. so, i set goals that can be accomplished in 3 month cycles rather than over the course of a year. in doing that i achieve small steps toward the larger, more diverse vision of my life i have for myself, meaning i could have one goal - lets say financial freedom - and 3 projects over the course of 9 months that feed into that goal. this works for me because i know i can sustain deep focus over the course of those three months and so will accomplish what ive set out to do. — but whats key for you, is that you find out what works for you. if you start to embrace your needs and what makes you different, you can also embrace the ways it makes you and your approach unique and innovative. rather than a hinderance or a source of 'why cant i be like/function like everyone else'. ——— that leads on to the second part, which is learning to carry the good with the bad. e.g. — whilst the way i fluctuate makes me multifaceted, it also means that one month im focused on art (my style) & reading, the next i might be on philosophy and writing, right before i get back to gardening and portrait practice, then cycle back to learning languages or an instrument. that level of commitment to multiple disciplines means what could take me 3 months to accomplish if i had a single minded focus, gets dragged out into a year long affair. lmty, its almost as frustrating to make slow progress as it is not to progress at all. so sometimes i feel like ive come so far only to have achieved the bare minimum. ive had to learn to appreciate that slow and steady approach (rather than chasing immediate perfection which leads to burn out) and be grateful for the fact that even though its taking long, at least im moving in the right direction. eventually ill learn the skill of expediting each of my processes, but right now this is where im at. extending that kind of grace and mercy to yourself is the biggest part of this all. because if i know im not good at structure, and im specifically struggling with it at this moment, maybe i dont need to hyper-fixate on having a morning routine right now. maybe for the next few months, its not about doing yoga the moment i wake up (even if i know thats best for me) maybe i just need to do yoga at 'unspecified time today'. maybe i dont need to sleep at 10pm. i can actually start work at 10pm, and go to sleep at 6 am. as long as i do yoga, as long as i go to sleep, as long i *insert task*, that is enough for right now. infact more than enough, its a victory. so, work on your own schedule and embrace it. trust that you've set goals and failed before but that you are still here and still committed to getting it right next time, which means you are a trustworthy person who can rely on themselves to show up for themselves. the more you practice not giving up, the smaller the gap between your ability to take action, which means the greater your ability to develop the skill of routine. perhaps not a conventional routine, but routine just means habit. over the course of your life, you are building the habit of not giving up. or of consistently coming back to & developing skills you wanna build. that is the desired outcome, not the structure of how you achieve that, but the fact that you have achieved some form of taking action consistently.

last thing i want to leave you with is the way i see and feel you. you could have asked me anything, you could have asked me nothing at all, but you chose to ask me about how to improve your situation. in that sense, your words have betrayed what your will and your desire is. the things we desire today, dictate the person we become tomorrow, and so i know without a doubt that its not a matter of if, but a matter of when you achieve these routines, their outcomes (& so much more, you cant even imagine whats on the other side). <3. it takes a very special kind of grit and resilience to fail and to try again. you inspire me and remind me of the qualities that make humans truly beautiful, truly necessary and truly precious. so dont give up, dont go under. none of this is meant to break you, just pull out what is inevitable to who you are and what you are meant to be. it is going to be hard, but you are not alone even when you are alone, and when you make it out the other end you become a testimony for others, (& evidence that they arent alone either). keep fighting, i believe in you, sending big love & a big hug xx-xx

#ask #🖤

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commonharlotwatchesbl · 2 years

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I’m so not normal about Vegas. I don’t think I can be normal about Vegas.

Below the cut it’s just a ramble of projecting, trauma dumping, and psychoanalysis.

Today’s episode was on the tougher side. Losing a pet is always a tender topic, but the way it was framed around Vegas’ trauma and the conversation between him and Pete about it hit too close to home. I’ve had a very similar conversation with my therapist. I have a sick pet, who was going into dangerous surgery for probably the third time. My therapist was asking me how I was feeling about it – the usual. I tried to talk about it without crying and failed miserably. I was obviously frustrated and expressed that just the potential loss should not hurt so much. She had to explain at a grassroots level to me that that is what an affectionate relationship is like and how it should be. It should be important, and that’s why it’s a good thing that it hurts. In the episode, I could imagine Vegas wanting to scream that if it’s like this, he doesn’t want any of it. But of course he cannot avoid it, since, as the episode clearly demonstrated, he’s not a psychopath and is very much capable of caring.

I love seeing people roast Vegas on how Pete gave him two minutes of therapy and the guy fell in love. As in, how emotionally unintelligent can a guy get? Well, for reference, I was instructed to do mindfulness noting techniques when I was 21: Whenever I noticed I was thinking, I was supposed to note for myself that I’m thinking. Same for feeling. However, I thought that it meant physical feelings, such as sore muscles or tingling. I did not realize that I had feelings, as in emotions, until I was 25, because I was so ill equipped to deal with them. I think they happened, I just wasn’t aware.

When you’re an extension of a parent instead of seen as an actual human, the mind has no option except perceive the self through the Other. You feel as if you are how your parent compares you to your peers. You are your grades, your progress in your hobbies, your successes compared to others. You got the second best result in an exam or a sports competition? The thing a parent like this wants to know only is why did you not get the first one and more importantly, who did? You get punished for failure. A grade B+ will give you a week of being grounded. (Really.) A child like this, in search for affection, doesn’t really develop likes and dislikes, the only way they can find human connection is learning to manipulate how others perceive you and draw positive feelings from there. This is why Vegas is so obsessed with being seen as “the second”. Anyone would think that’s an enviable position. He has an entire household of people who think he’s equivalent to a God, but he only cares about the gaze of some abstract Other he has learnt to place on himself. This, of course, he picked up from his father ever since childhood. This is why he's so perceptive of which version of him Pete reacts to the best.

The self harm… When you’re corporeally punished as a child, physical pain becomes a soothing comfort for emotions you’re ill equipped to process. When I was expressing age typical emotions at two years old, my parent considered it a failure on my part – I was being difficult and made her look bad – and used to slap me on the face. According to old documents written by her, after getting beat, I would crawl over to her to give her a kiss in an apology that I had upset her. Eventually I guess I learnt that affection is only on the table momentarily if I do something that makes her appear in a good light, and then the moment’s over. The only real attention you get from a parent like this is pain, and when you’re an emotionally starved enough child, pain is better than nothing. When you’re sad, you learn not to expect comfort, you learn to expect pain of some sort and what is familiar will become comfortable, so you do it to yourself.

Sometimes, you would find another place for comfort: another parent, maybe friends later on, maybe pets. But if you’re used to losing all of these new sources of hope, you begin to push them away right from the start to show yourself that you’re indeed not worthy of love. And when you're really desperate for human connection with a mind like this, you will think you have to chain them to the ceiling just to stop them from leaving. My only friend in elementary school moved away, my only friend in middle and high school moved away, my first boyfriend died, I’ve lost more pets that I can count. You give up and live every single moment waiting for the other shoe to drop. Every good moment is drenched in the knowledge that it’s not going to last, so why delay the hurt. Make yourself unlovable, control the perception of the Others so that they never know you, because, if they never know you, they cannot really leave you. Teach yourself to walk backwards out of any given situation. However, conveniently they can give you that little drop of good brain chemicals if you can trick them into seeing you in a light of power. For example, through violence and sadism. You can find a fan you can manipulate into seeing you as superhuman, but be all too willing to, well, shoot them I guess, because they would leave you anyway if they actually knew you. However, when you get the satisfaction of being seen positively through the other via a new state - vulnerability - you're going to want that kick of being liked while navigating a whole new experience. Vegas being perceptive to how Pete likes him, being addicted to being how Pete likes him, is going to teach him new ways of existing.

A child being put responsible for how others see a narcissistic parent is exactly how you would get a character like Vegas. A control freak completely out of touch with their own self with an emphasis on facades and impressions to whom others are only tools to either be seen through or tools to manipulate how others see them. For a personality like this, facing oneself is dangerous for everyone involved, since the toll on the psyche is not little and coping mechanisms are various.

However, if against all odds, the self survives this, what does one do with the surplus of love and affection that has previously only had an outlet in harm towards oneself and others?

I’m not normal about Vegas.

#kinnporsche the series #vegas theerapanyakul #vegaspete #kinnporsche

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satocidal · 8 months

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Loved it? Oh, God, you have no idea how much I loved it!

Like, it was softer than I expected and I adored it (I guess I'm too used to my old usual angst coming from my own fingers lmao) and I adored how it felt so realistic honestly like I could totally see Suguru liking someone bold and lively and seemingly almost opposite of himself! (after all, he is Satoru's best friend, lol(

As for Haunting Adeline, it's good (got to like page 150 or so out of almost 600) but I adore so much the tension and how Zade is both a manipulator but deeply obsessive with Addie, ngl

(Can one tell I'm deeply into Alpha/Omega? No? Should I make it clear with a long, detailed description?😅)

I will have to read that Cult!Geto. A lil bit mean, yummy 😋 (especially if he's mean with his d and hand wrapped around my throat—)

As for my friend, she's amazing, but going through a lot lately. Family stress + a relative being unhealthy + first year of Uni knocking+ mental illness is never a nice combo so I do get her but it's like the fifth day and i don't worried as fuck

Did I miss something? 🤔

Oh! The 13 and 15 year difference between us is not that bad considering they're rlly good kids and I love them dearly, ngl. But it does get exhausting. Especially considering I was in a very stressful situation myself not too long ago and still live in it a little (Uni sucks the will from my soul sometimes). Their love does make it worth tho (and the free food and coffee lmao)

Also, it's kinda payment in my mind for how much my sis is helping me rn even tho she'd never hold it over my head (I need new glasses. And while I had the money to spend on said glasses, I had 0 for food and cigs and she's helping me on this one)

But yes, I agree Hacker!Suguru is just ughh. Like, a lil (maybe more) obsessed, absolutely the type to give you the chills, surely could and has killed some really nasty dudes such as traffickers…yeah

Never getting over Suguru being big and strong and intimidating even tho he's such a kind soul, genuinely. I love him dearly (he looks very hot wiping someone else's blood from his skin, sorry not sorry)

~🦊

I love how long this is— and tbh, i knew what I was writing wasn’t like, what you exactly asked for but I was sort of using that idea in a Satoru fic and 😭 yes. Because angst in fact is>>>> and tbh why I see him going for someone like that is because it probably makes him learn a lot, like shows perspectives yk?

Personally I’m not into yandere or omega/alpha dynamics but the maybe I’ve just not delved into the right stuff — altho I think I won’t be into it, I feel like I should try reading on it more to get a good idea on it. As in, it helps writing but be my guest and explain as much as you’d like lmao

I won’t spoil much and it’s not any particular plot lmao I just initially wanted to write smut but then idk and it’s like cult geto and you’re a non-sorcerer but at the same time he’s sort of in love with you (classic and obviously). I don’t expect much interaction on it with people and I’m so afraid because many people (like yk the bigger and more popular fandom writers) have already done this idea so it is overdone slightly? But I just wanted a go at it.

That’s good for you for sure because I personally could never💀 I just really don’t at all like kids and I do hope things get better for you soon.

And I just saw this feel like this hacker guy and this girl (idk what movie’s edit it was but istg that’s my inspo now) though I do apologise because it may take me a day or two (a week?) to deliver because I got this test coming up. And suguru who can manhandle you>>> wait though- suguru wiping your blood (just as an idea sorry if you’re not into that!)

#from.🦊baby #☼࿐𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐄.𝐍𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒 #☼࿐𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠→#I love your ideas so much #like the literal perfect #though like I need to expand more on Nanami and toji these days😭 because they look so empty where in gojo and geto get all my attention

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nagichi-boop · 2 years

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My thoughts on “you can’t be loved by someone if you don’t love yourself”

I made this post a few days ago asking what people thought about the quote “you can’t be loved by someone if you don’t love yourself”. I’ve had a few days to think about it and read the responses to it, but I think I’m ready to add my two cents into the mix.

This post is quite long, but I felt that I wanted to share my opinions as thoroughly as possible. I talk about the negative connotations the quote has towards those who are neurodivergent/mentally ill, my own experience and some examples from an anime that I like that I think holds important lessons about self love. If you don’t want to read this post, that’s absolutely fine. You can also just read certain parts if you’d like. Or you can save this later and read it in chunks if it’s too much in one go.

(I’ve decided for simplicity to add some headings btw, just to make reading the post easier hopefully. And apologies in advanced for any spelling/grammar mistakes! I had a lot of thoughts I wanted to get out.)

“Defending” the quote

In my mind, I think the quote has a truth to it, but the way it is phrased isn’t correct. I think what the quote means is that if you don’t love yourself and are consumed by self loathing, you may not be able to accept love if it’s given to you by someone, either because you are too afraid to let them in or you don’t believe what they say to be true.

While I do agree that having a low self esteem makes it hard to accept love from others, I don’t think that the idea that you can’t be loved unless you love yourself unfortunately has a sinister undertone when it comes to those who are mentally ill or neurodivergent. I also think that sometimes it takes someone else loving you first to help show you what is lovable about yourself. (Skip to the ‘rice ball analogy’ subheading where I explain this idea in more detail.)

I’m now going to use a hypothetical that may be relatable to some to illustrate why this maybe isn’t the best quote.

Hypothetical to illustrate the danger of using this quote

So in this hypothetical, we will focus on someone who is autistic, diagnosed or undiagnosed. They grow up their whole lives being treated by their peers as an outcast, perhaps being called “weird” or “different”, or maybe they just don’t get invited out. They often say that repetition helps you to learn, right? Well, through repeated neglect and social isolation, this person begins to feel like they are a failure, that they are unlovable.

Whether people around them are hurting and neglecting them on purpose or by accident, the effect is still the same. The person is lonely and isolated, so of course after being rejected so many times they’d be led to believe that they are not worthy of love, that something is wrong. Why else would people refuse to be with them, to be their friend?

Now imagine this person finds the courage to open up to someone. They relate how they hate themselves, that no one seems to like them because they are weird. That because of how they are, they are unlovable. And if they know about their autism diagnosis, perhaps they blame their problems on that, suggesting that because of their autism, they were doomed to fail in relationships. Now imagine the other person tells them that no one will love them until they love themselves. How do you think the autistic person would feel? Happy? Relived? Motivated? Of course not! Because the other person just reestablished the faulty belief that because of how this person is, they cannot be loved.

Personal experience

I know for me personally I felt like that hypothetical person. I have grown up feeling like an outcast, treated as weird by those who I considered to be friends. It’s only after being alive for almost 21 years that I think I have found some irl friends who truly love me, who care about me. But that wasn’t because I suddenly learned self love. Actually, I’m arguably going through a rough patch with my mental health right now. And yet despite that, I have two wonderful friends who say that they are lucky to have me as a friend, who love me and are afraid to lose me as a friend. But those feelings of self hatred have not gone away. They are still very much here. I often question what could possibly make my friends care about me and value me so much. But regardless of how I feel about myself, they can see the good qualities in me and love me for it. Which leads me to…

Using an anime to explain my point

The anime I would like to talk about is called Fruits Basket. Maybe you have heard of it, maybe you have scene it or maybe you have no idea what the hell I’m talking about, but please bear with me. I’ll be talking about a few scenes from the anime to illustrate my points. I’ll be referring to the newer (2019) version of the anime for this.

The first I’d like to highlight is one from the third episode. Tohru, the main character, uses an illustration of a onigiri/rice ball to explain a point she is making to her friend, Kyo. A rice ball for those who don’t know is this 🍙. I couldn’t find the whole clip on YouTube, but if you click here you can watch a portion of it. I’ll also be explaining it here, so you don’t have to watch the clip to get my point.

Rice balls analogy

In this scene, Tohru likens people to a rice ball with a plum on their back. She says that everyone has a plum on their back, or in other words, everyone has amazing qualities. But because the plum is on their back, they can’t see it, so they may assume that they don’t have said good qualities. But everyone else can see the plum, so it’s easy for them to see the good things about people that the person themselves cannot see.

I think this is especially true of people with trauma, mental illness and/or are neurodivergent. We often can’t really see the good things about ourselves and therefore assume they aren’t there, which can make it difficult to love ourselves. But other people can see our good qualities very easily. Sometimes it takes someone else loving you and telling you about your good qualities for you to begin to see yourself in a positive way.

“Learn to love yourself”

The next scene I’d like to discuss is a scene from episode 18. Unfortunately I couldn’t really find a clip of it on YouTube, so I will do my best to explain it here.

A girl named Kisa was bullied incessantly at school, resulting in her no longer attending and also losing her ability to speak. She then receives a letter from her teacher that Yuki, one of her relatives and a main character of the show, reads aloud. Bearing in mind Yuki also endured a great deal of trauma and so can relate to Kisa to a degree, Yuki expresses his confusion and frustration to the teachers wording, namely that it asks Kisa to “learn to love” herself. He rhetorically asks how it is that people can find things to love about themselves when the whole reason they hate themselves is because they can only see the things they hate, so finding good things about yourself “feels hollow, like we’re making things up.” He then says that it’s only when someone says and shows that they love you that you are able to start loving yourself, that it’s when someone accepts you that you are able to start forgiving and loving yourself.

I think this couples well with Tohru’s analogy of the rice ball. Both illustrate how difficult is it for someone who already has a negative view of themselves to find good qualities in themselves, either because they just cannot think of anything or anything they do think it feels like an exaggeration or a lie. But again, when someone else finds those good qualities and draws them out, as well as accepting the darker parts of you, that’s when such a person may start to accept themselves and love themselves more.

Kyo’s confession (spoilers)

The final clip I want to share goes back to my point about how it’s not a matter of whether or not you love yourself determining whether someone can love you, but rather whether your self hatred stops you from allowing others in. Once again, I couldn’t find a full clip, but here’s an Instagram post with the main part I wanted to share and I will provide context for the rest.

So to boil this scene down to the basics, Kyo discovers that Tohru has feelings for him. Despite reciprocating said feelings, Kyo decides to try pushing Tohru away, expressing how he blames himself for her mother’s death. To put it shortly, he saw that Tohru’s mother was going to be hit by a car, but for reasons that only make sense if you’re away of the anime’s plot, he hesitates and her mother ends up dying. He misinterprets her final words “I won’t forgive you” to mean that her mother blames him for her death (when in actuality her mother was trying to say “I won’t forgive you if you leave my daughter alone”), but he carries this guilt with him from then on.

After confessing this to Tohru, she expresses that she cannot believe her mother would say that, but if she did, she has to “rebel against her mother” so to speak because she loves Kyo anyway. Instead of being flattered and happy by this, Kyo expresses he is disappointed in Tohru.

This would be an example of someone who loathes themselves and shuts people off because of it. Kyo hated himself so much and carried such a heavy load of trauma with him that he could not accept another person’s love.

A further scene elaborates on what Kyo decides to do next however, which you can watch by clicking here. Yuki, mentioned earlier, gets upset with Kyo and tells him that he’s not a superhero that is supposed to be perfect. Kyo replies that he can’t protect Tohru, but Yuki says that he already has been doing that, once again showing that it’s easier to find the good in someone else than it is to see in yourself. He visits his abusive father and says that he wasn’t going to throw himself away anymore, that as long as he was alive he would keep trying to live.

He then comes to realise that he had been neglecting Tohru’s feelings and realises that this isn’t what he wanted, and so he apologises to Tohru and asks for a second chance. Ofc in romance anime style they get today, but in a scene in a further episode, Kyo talks about how he would do her best to make Tohru’s mother proud and protect Tohru.

Kyo recognised that his own self loathing was getting in the way of his and Tohru’s happiness. His trauma and hatred did not go away when he and Tohru got together, but his attitude did. Instead of trying to run away, he decided to confront his issues and work on getting better. And to begin with, it was only through Tohru that Kyo had become a better person throughout the series.

Conclusion

Hopefully I’ve been able to explain myself well enough in my post. I know it was a long one, but I feel like the notion of “you can’t be loved by someone if you don’t love yourself” is half true at best and toxic positivity at worse. Yes, self hatred can cause someone to reject someone’s feelings of love and it may even turn some people away from you. But people who truly love and care about you will love you despite your flaws, despite how you may feel about yourself. And they may even be the very people who draws that person out and helps them to begin to see the good in themselves. Maybe they won’t ever truly love themselves, but through someone else’s love they may come to accept themselves.

Thank you for reading. :)

#please feel free to give me other things to tag to this #self love #positivity #autism #autistic #adhd #ocd #bpd #eupd #borderline personality disorder #emotionally unstable personality disorder #mentally ill #neurodivergent #fruits basket #furuba #nagichi talks

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jake-whatthefisgoingon-kiszka · 4 months

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21st and im a bit stressed, cause december went by in a blink. I missed a day again, cause this week has been kinda hell for me, but tomorrow is the last day of it and then im on break yayy!!! I think these will be my last question cause i need to work more on your secret santa gift, than spend time on here hahaha

Are you a spiritual person? Do you believe in astrology or anything similar?

I love your fic dywtylm, didnt except to like this ship as much as i do. When did you start writing? Was it always only fanfic or do you also sometimes write original works

What fictional character do you relate to most?

What do love the most about the individual boys?

I loved getting to know you, hope you have a great day and ill see you again, when im done with your gift. Cant wait!!!

-Secret santa 🎅🎄

I’m so sorry you’ve been stressed! I’ve been busy as well so don’t feel bad. I hope you enjoy your break!

1. So I’m not a religious person but I wouldn’t say I’m not spiritual? I just have a lot of religious trauma (good ol southern church of Christ doing its due diligence threatening the youth am I right). My friend actually told me the other day she likes the way Atlantis explains deities (not that I’m really into them or anything) but basically that they’re neither good or bad they’re just conscience and we can use them for good or bad but that doesn’t mean they won’t protect themselves

2. I’m also obsessed with this fic and Janny lane. It started as just a silly little idea and now I’m just rolling with it downhill… I’ve been writing for a long time. When I was a kid I wanted to write novels, so yes I’ve tried writing origional work many times just never seemed to stick to it

3. This is actually really hard… but maybe Jim from the office? I definitely give off some Jim vibes

4. Let’s see 🤔

Josh - I like his courage. He’s said multiple times that he has anxiety or stresses which I also have a lot of, but that doesn’t stop him from going out there and being his fun wild self

Jake - I like his humbleness. I can imagine he’s spent an ungodly amount of time learning to play guitar that well, yet he doesn’t gloat, doesn’t go around saying he’s the best ever, he encourages others to start a craft as well and learn just like he did

Sam - I like his energy. I hate it when people say Sam gives them the ick. Cause like why could you hate on that precious little baby? He’s fun and energetic and just wants to have a good time and I’m here for it 100%

Danny - I like his duality. That man… whew that man can look so damn good in both eyeliner and jewels as well as a muscle t and a snap back. But for real I like when he’s referred to as the “gentle giant” because although he’s up there slapping those symbols he’s also backstage painting his nails

I can’t wait as well! Please find some time to relax, take care of yourself, and have a very merry Christmas 💖

#secret santa time!!!#for the last time!!! 🥹

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wuggy101 · 7 months

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I’m so fucking single it’s depressing, and for what? Yeah, I have so many problems, and shit that I have to work on, but I am the biggest romantic I’ve ever known.

You need something done? School work? Work? Finished. If it involves talking to people, it might be a little bumpy, but it’ll be done.

Need something cleaned/organized? I’ll do it in a heartbeat. I rarely clean my own room, but it’s still clean. I would prefer it not be outside, but I will still do it, if it’s you I’m doing it for.

Need praise? I could say a million ways on how utterly perfect and amazing you are, how beautiful you are. I can barely take compliments myself, but I give them out to people like it’s candy on Halloween.

You need help with your music? I have a playlist 86 hours long, filled with songs from all different genres, artists, and more.

You need help with fashion? I may not hold my outfit choice’s to very high standards, but I do my best to make the greatest outfits for you.

Need an energetic word vomit to listen to? I can up my energy levels to a lot higher then what I usually do(it’s why I stay in my room all the time, to recharge!). I can talk about my hyper fixations at that time. Or past ones. Or I can research your hyper fixations, and then word vomit about them.

Need some peace and quiet? I love to be quiet, I do it all the time, it’s when I read.

Need some help with mental health/illnesses? I’ve seen my fair share of things, I’ll help you the best I can.

Need help with other health problems? I will research about it, and help out in any way I can, to the best of my abilities.

Need a shoulder to cry on? I might not be the best at comfort, but I’ll do everything in my power to cheer you up!

Need to vent? Of course you can! You can always talk to me, and about anything!

Need help reevaluating your beliefs? I’ve done that a lot, and most times I look at both sides, not just one, so hopefully I can help them, and you, evolve your fundamentals.

Need help with family/ friends? I’ll try my best to make everyone happy.

What something? If I have enough money, then sure, and if I don’t but it’s a small enough then I might be able to make it at home!

Want physical touch? I’ve always wanted someone to cuddle with! We can hold hands, and dance together. We can give light kisses along each other’s skin, and during a date I’ll do the thing in movies when the guy gently holds your hand and kisses it while saying how stunning you are.

Want some space? Got it! We can do stuff without touching, sometimes I also don’t want touch!

Want to get ‘intimate’? We’re too young for that, but we could do some heated kisses. But when we get older, then hell yeah! But we both have to be in the mood, and explicit consent must be said!

Want to talk about our future? We can talk about anything! Our wedding, what type of house we get/make, our professions, what animals we have, if we decide to adopt, and so much more!

Need help with learning something and want me to teach you? I’m not very good at explaining stuff, and I’m pretty bad at teaching, but I try my best to make sure you understand the concepts.

Want to have fun? We can go anywhere you want!

Want to go on a date? Duh! Of course we can! I’ll make it one of the best you’ve ever had! It’ll be so romantic and sweet, and I’ll dress up as best I can!

I may ask for a lot, or maybe not, I have no idea. But I’ll definitely try and be the best girlfriend I can!

#lesbian #lgbtq #love is love #hopelessly in love #romantic #romance #i will love you forever #she/they #Spotify #mental heath support #fashion #wlw love #wlw positivity #queer youth #love quotes #sounds gay #I’m in #pretty girls #gaslight gatekeep girlboss

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