#so. if im uncomfortable ill just say jt!

[deoidesign]

I'm sorry if what I say is wrong in any way, I don't mean to offend you, it's just something I'm not completely sure about. Does Adam use he/they or they/them pronouns? I think I saw a post of yours where you said that Adam uses he/they, but it was a while ago and now I'm not completely sure (and I don't want to use the wrong pronouns)

I know you don't mean anything by it, but I am sad that so many of the asks I get start with people saying "I'm sorry, I don't want to offend you" or some variation thereof, followed by completely normal questions. I think I may have been responding too harshly to too many things and given the impression that I'll jump at people for being wrong...

But asking clarifying questions is always okay. I mean, it's also okay to be wrong and even offensive. What matters is if you learn from it when someone points out that it was wrong or offensive. I won't stop telling people they're saying something hurtful if they are, but I don't want that to lead people to be scared of me or something.

Correcting people is always just about correcting them, not hurting them. It's okay to need to be corrected, were all learning new things every day.

Anyways Adam uses he/they, you remembered correctly

#i dont like when people pry about personal things #especially not when it's accusatory. I'm admittedly sensitive to a lifetime of people denying my identity #people saying i dont count as bi. or nonbinary. or disabled. #and so i tend to take questions around these as people trying to 'sus me out' as a fake or something... #and I'm always going to try to explain. generally gently... how these things are hurtful to me personally #or in the case of my characters how certain things can (in my opinion) be harmful mindsets to have #but i dont carry them with me and im not mad #im just 26 and kinda tired of making myself small to make other people more comfortable. #so. if im uncomfortable ill just say jt! #and ill do my best to explain why so people can maybe learn from it #but as someone who. i talked about this recently elsewhere. as someone who has anger management issues #and unfortunately has had to deal with people i care deeply about being scared of me... #it just makes me sad to see anons being scared of me. #that's all #im not upset or anything. just trying to be a better person. #I'm learning everyday too #asks #anon

[mrfoox]

Kinda wish I had more adhd traits in me but alas... I love people with adhd they are my fave...

#miranda talking shit #Not saying id want to have more risky behaviors but... Kinda yeah. #My asd is stopping from so much i think. Even when i kinda want to do something i have to think... #Oliver: its fun to act on impulse and just do shit. The aftermath can be shit sometimes but in the moment ? Very fun #Me crying: god wish that was me... But i always think on 600 things first. Mainly i could not be impulsive bc if it #Involves anyone other than me im terrified of hurting them or making them uncomfortable. Meanwhile that dude is out there just #Going... I think i just got bad things from adhd. Shit work memory/for names/dates and struggle to concentrate for long #The impulse control have shit sides for sure but i also feel like i... Would have done more things by now if i had it #But im so scared of everything i dont do anything. Would be nice to just see something think 'seems fun' and then do it #And not think more into it. But here i am... I really like people with adhd bc they often dont think far ahead #And i like that. No filter no worries in the moment and im just like... I want what you have but ill settle to being around you #I dont have any boundaries or limits when jt comes to people i love... Maybe thats from my add side? #But when its just me and what id like i have so many limits on myself..

[wizardyke]

i think one thing that will always piss me off is people declining someone else's kindness or act of sercice or whatever because "they'll feel bad". like one time i could offer my friend a lift home, and they were like nooooooo dooont ill feel badddd. so do you want me to leave you in the middle of town at midnight? or im talking to my friend rn, and theyre saying that even though theyre a broke college student and their friend offered to pay for soemthing for them, no strinsg attached, they declined bc they felt bad. idk maybe its cause im azeri where we fight over on whos gonna pay. like.

realistically with my friend and lifts; they had no koney for a taxi and there were no buses running at that hour and its moronic to walk. of course they were gonna get a lift with me. but now you've made the outreach of my kindness some sort of transgression against you so much so that you feel bad. it makes it uncomfortable for everyone involved now. or my friend who's going hungry for the sake of not bithering their friends, now youre making your friends helpless bystanders and you hungry and miserable for like... ur pride?

and i HATTTEEEEE how non resolute it is. like when i dont want to eat where my friends want to i fet ny food from someplace else. or when my friend pays for something ill go out of my way to pay for something for them. or whej someone just generally does something nice for me, i thank them and show as much appreciation for that action & them as a friend! why on EARTH when someone doing something nice for you want to hear how fucking bad you feel about it???????? thats the opposite of why they want to do it for you. and its not even an alternative, its just a sitting down pity party. maybe id get it if it was some alternative solution ("ill cover the bill" "no we can split it evenly") but its just. self pity and flagellation ("ill cover the bill" "noOOoOOoo ill feel baddddddddd") youre not a monk youre not the pope and if you REALLY feel THAT bad then go to your fucking place kf worship where you can indulge in your bizarre martyr? complex in peace and stop ruining the fucking vibe

tldr: accept peoples kindness and help without making a big stink out of jt cause then ut makes the situation at hand a fucking downer & makes people not wanna help you in the future jf you need to be dragged by thr collar to make the right decision

#✂️ #pls dont come at me saying 'its a sign kf trauma!!! how fare you!!!' #yea its a symptom that u have to unlearn. im sorry its such a fucking vibe kill #and such a western thing too. british people have sucu catholic guilt over everything even though we're a PROTESTANT COUNTRY #and barely one at that all the churches in my area have been converted one way or another #but your friends want to help you otherwise they wouldn't have offered. youre not a kid at the dentist anymore #no one wants to gentle parent you at our grown age. learn to accept peoples actions and generousity or gfto!!!!