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anotherocean · 2 days

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My first pick a pile reading for you all! Been wanting to do this for a long time and hopefully add a little sparkle to your day, some guidance, maybe reassurance (?), or just a little divination fun.

This is a general reading for your life at the moment. I used tarot and my intuition to come up with these readings. If you aren't familiar with how to do this, you just pick an image that pops out at you, or choose one quickly and randomly. Whatever method you want to use it usually works. Pile readings below! Let me know if anything resonated with you! This is my first time doing this so feedback is really nice :)

Hello my beautiful pile 1s! A lot of mental energy here!

My main piece of advice pile 1 is:

GIVE IN TO THE NOT KNOWING

Looks like you could use some support with that overactive mind of yours. First thing's first it's going to be okay. It looks like you've had some sleepless nights recently and something is keeping you awake at night in worry-- whatever you are going through is not easy and would test anyone's faith. This might be the result of feeling betrayed (or a misunderstanding for some) in some way, or perhaps you are even lowering yourself to a level that feels untrue to you. In any case your soul is saying no to a lot of ways you are perceiving your situation right now and urging you to take a step back. Your idealism may be pushing up against some cold hard facts … about a person? (never a fun feeling) and disillusionment of some sort might be setting in. Your desire to win or succeed or have your own way may be clouding the best avenue toward your genuine peace and fulfillment (I've been there honey, I feel you). I am getting the feeling you are going around and around in your head playing mental games. Tap into your honesty and your intuition. Don't sneak out the proverbial back door. Patience is required right now. You'll make it through I believe in you! Things are going to work out, but maybe it's time to rest and reflect a bit babe? I'm getting the sense that rest frightens you a bit. Either you feel you can't stop, or rest has become equated with stagnation in your mind. In this instance that is not the case. Rest is a terrific idea for you because this looks like something you need to wait out. On the upside, I'm seeing that for some of you there could be some wonderful feelings of inspiration or drive or something urging you forward. Perhaps there is a complex mix of your excitement for a new idea or project, and conflict between something going on in your life, so you are experiencing some push/pull dynamics that are causing a lot of uncomfortable mental energy. My advice is rest, tap into some inner strength, and give in to not knowing and what a truly beautiful and relieving feeling that can be. You can't possibly know, so don't! You don't need to figure everything all out at once honey, or solve this problem immediately.

Hello my incredible pile 2's! I love you.

You have an incredibly clear mind at the moment. You are approaching your situation with logic, which may feel a bit at odds with your needs to be nurtured. I'm getting maybe someone studying or pouring themselves into research but forgetting to take care of their more sensual needs like eating nice meals, going for walks, etc. In the distant or recent past you may have been in a limiting situation -- either victimized by some form of addiction, or bad relationship, or something that was bringing out parts of your shadow side that were not to your liking. This was something that you may have felt chained to... I'm getting your toxic ball and chain. That said, I'm seeing that you are harnessing a lot of energy positively right now, and will continue to do so. You have the power and ability to manifest your dreams, reach toward your goals, be the creator in your life. In the past you may have felt victimized and held captive by a person or situation, but you are now finding yourself (or about to be finding yourself) holding the power in your life. The world around you is aligned with you in presenting you with new opportunities for growth and love, and this is merely reflecting all the power you have right now. It seems you may be faced with an important decision, and while you are jumping and ready for new adventures, I ask you to also make sure you align your desire for adventure with your values related to the people and relationships in your life. You can do no wrong if you truly consult your heart in this important decision and take an honest look there by also allowing the people in your life to be included in that "gazing into the heart" that I mentioned. You are not an island, you are most definitely connected. You also have some doubts it looks like, or fears of separation or loss. The pain of heartbreak. A last word of advice is talk to someone you trust, perhaps a mentor, or consult your higher power for guidance. You may find resolution in aligning yourself with your traditions, or the traditions of people around you. I have to be honest pile 2, your picture isn't crystal clear for me, so I hope I filled in enough blanks to give this reading some value for you!

Pile 3 hello! So much beauty here.

It looks like there are so many beautiful things in your life right now. Wonderful relationships, some degree of emotional fulfillment, and periods of gorgeous and harmonious socializing and abundance are all present. There is a strong, positive emphasis on community, but you also need to nurture your individual creative expressions (be that something tangible like painting a picture, or something more related to using your creative abilities for manifestation, or maybe just... spending some time in the garden planting seeds). You need to see the fruits of your own labor (!!!). Also, let it be known that as soon as I began your reading and was looking at the above image I felt such a lightness! Wish I were you pile 3! Like a breath of fresh air. Life is good. You also want to create some more stability for yourself. Even with all the good things, you have your sights set on something better and what a beautiful thing that is! You might be itching for something new and exciting, even with all the good things going on in your life, and the main and BIG POWERFUL MESSAGE of this reading is to embrace change. You may have built up something gorgeous and fulfilling but your heart is looking for more. EMBRACE the radical changes. EMBRACE the tearing down of the good things. More good things will come. You may currently find yourself feeling influenced by some conservatism around you (not necessarily a bad thing), but the stable attitude of those around you may be at odds with your need to honor your enthusiasm for adventure and break down what you have in order to build up something new again. As I mentioned, what you've built is gorgeous, but perhaps it is time to tear it down? You have some fears and worries around this, so take this advice as lightly or deeply as you like. Whatever the case, the changes you want aren't going to be a lightning bolt. You need to put effort into long term planning with patience, and perseverance. You need to carefully nurture your efforts right now, more than you need to immediately start a new life.

=====

That's it! I had so much fun doing this, I hope you enjoyed it! It was fun getting a peak into some of your lives. At some point I may offer clarification card readings if any of you want to pay for additional info or extra questions related to the above readings. I'm not sure yet, just enjoying the experiment and maybe I'll do this with some regularity :) Also let me know if there's any specific reading you might like to see me do in the future! I have been so hardcore into astrology recently (truly obsession level) so tarot is a nice little sideline.

#pac reading #pick a pile #pick a card #tarot #intuitive reading #general reading #Pile 1 wound up being my reading 😭#it’s true though stagnation isn’t always rest #sometimes you can be busily stagnant

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wonryllis · 1 day

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04. can you afford her a McLaren?

PREVIEW. you always get what you want, spoiled with the love of everyone around you. and it's all innocent love, at least that's what everyone thinks. it comes with much surprise therefore, when heeseung makes a move on you. thirteen long years of being in the brother zone having made him utterly clueless that if he’s going to date you he has to pass through your actual brothers first. and he knows how scary they can be. especially since they are known to have a sister complex and he’s been the third scary one with them, numerous times before.

MEET THE CAST. insanely love struck BRAT TAMER lee heeseung with his SPOILED BRAT RICH GIRL reader.

WARNINGS. swearing is kind of mild, jealous heeseung yeah, jakehoon!, YN IS HELLA SPOILED behavior here!!! wealth and class differences!

PREV | MASTERLIST | NEXT

READ THE WRITTEN PART UNDER THE CUT! ( 2472 words. )

you stand alone behind the bleachers, fixing the ribbons in your hair, and dusting off the non existent creases from your ironed chanel set. time and again beomgyu’s words echo at the back of your mind, albeit like a little house fly buzzing into your ear, and running your patience thin.

what did he say again? not interested? huh, he got some nerves saying that to your face. it's a little funny how he is so ready to reject you for some other girl from his lit club? god that's so boring. so many guys dying to be in his place and he has the guts to outright say no⁠— when you, the princess of the campus wants him.

well not anymore. you got better standards than to run after a boy who's not grateful for what he is getting. eyeroll.

you recall his words in your mind, something along the lines of your brothers apparently forcing him to hang out with you, quoting that they were practically threatening him to act like he got something for you. well, if he thought you would be upset to find that out, then he was wrong.

you know you have always gotten what you want because your brothers always make sure of it, so it's not a surprise they were involved this time too. maybe you are just a tad bit disappointed cause it did not work this time.

but alas there is a line of men you can choose from and he is definitely not the best fish out in the sea.

the only thing bothering you though, is that he was the one to reject you and not the other way around; and as a matter of fact if this piece of information were to go around campus, you would lose your mind.

all those instances during your supposed dates with him where you felt the possibility of feelings being reciprocated, god you hate the you from there. when you think of it now, it looks so desperate and lowly to you, you feel ashamed to have run after a guy. especially, a guy who just saw you as his best friends’ little spoiled sister.

as you look down on the dirt smeared across your white heels from all the walking to get to this part of the bleachers, you swear by your strongest resolve: that you'd never ever chase after a guy anymore. lowly boytoys undeserving of your perfect self.

you do not think of who to blame or what to do after this. it really did not matter to you anymore, it was just over and done and you could not care to give anymore fucks about it.

a frown grimacing your face at the thought of walking through the same dirt filled path again.

“god what did i even see in him,” you mumble, carefully placing your heels on the ground, making your way out with dainty soft steps.

halfaway through, more like a couple steps out, you come across jake and riki bickering by the wall. whisper shouting things you can not make out the sound of, from the distance you stand at. hushed curses and nervous shuffling and shoving against each other until they spot you. eyes widening and arms halted mid-air and mid-fight as if you were the one person who was not supposed to see it all, at any cost.

the moment it settles upon them that you are walking right over to where they stand, they are immediately rushing to scurry away, stumbling upon their own two feet for the sake of god and falling over each other in animalistic screeches that annoy the hell outta your precious ears. mouth forming into a tight lipped awkward smile as you watch them push at each other in all that dirt and stand up after staggering like a duck numerous times.

it is irksome and displeasing to see them act like a bunch of unmannered pets yet you can not help but laugh out at how hilarious it is.

they chuckle nervously, jake scratching at the back of his head and riki clearing his throat, utterly clueless if they should make a joke out of it as you laugh or apologize for letting you see them get that unruly. probably the latter.

“jake, riki⁠—” “we are okay!” they yelp at the same time, turning to stare at each other when they realize they just cut you off. gulping, they pause for a second and holler out again,”are you sure—” “sorry you had to see that!” same words, same time, same intensity and yet again cutting you off. oh fucking god, let the ground swallow them whole.

unaware if they should apologize for cutting you off, they stand awkward, staring at their shoes, eyes hoevering over their dirty shoes to your dirty heels and then all over to your cutely scrunched face letting out little giggles.

they remain still hissing at each other while waiting for your giggles to seize. throwing in a giggle or two of their own so you do not notice the uneasiness on their face. and once you do stop, eyes perfectly glued to them in confusion, does their stress reach the peaks of mount everest.

“so what were you both doing here?” you ask, watching expectantly for a sensible answer.

“uh actually we— i mean i saw beom—”

before jake can speak any further, riki nudges his elbow into the other's waist and cuts him off, leaving the poor boy groaning.

“the cheesecake!” “cheesecake?”

“yeah you said you'd get me cheesecake if i’m there on time and met jake on my way and he asked me where i was going and i accidentally told him and he begged to come along too but i didn't really want him to tag so we were kinda fussing over that.” he explains in a breath,”yeah.” eyes unblinking as he waits for you to buy it.

“behind the bleachers?” the way your eyes narrow in on them, an unconvinced pout on your lips has them quivering in dread and panic. how are they supposed to explain that behind the bleachers was the perfect place to argue about, over something so irrelevant.

“well it's not everyday you get to go a vip exclusive cafe so i guess you both were really excited!”

or maybe not.

“yeah!” they shout in unison, relieved and finally able to breathe freely.

“well too bad, beomgyu kinda ruined my mood so i don't really feel like going anymore. next time i’ll invite you too jake!” oh. oh no.

and they fall into another dilemma, again, are they supposed to weep and curse beomgyu with you now or should they ignore it all and change the topic? should they leave you be and call your brothers or should they wait with you until one of them comes?

riki is the first to break the silence, already somewhat accustomed to your behaviours and what you might expect at a time like this.

“come on let's get you out this uh .. muddy place,” he mumbles, reaching forward and offering you his arm to hold onto while you walk in your heels. jake shifts uncomfortably in his place, disoriented and muddled over what he should be doing. sure there has been a few times he's met you so he, to a certain extent knows you and your ways, but it has always been with heeseung and heeseung has always known to treat you like a princess, worshipping the ground you walked on, not letting you feel uncomfortable or uneasy, even for a moment.

jake ponders for a second too long, and after much consideration holds out his palm to hold your other hand.

his eyes follow the way your clothes shine so pristine in comparison to the ground below, the stark contrast between the rough soil and pure ivory of your skirt and the diamonds studded at the front of your floral white heels. it does not take much for jake to realize just how different heeseung and you are, just how far apart you are.

in the delicate footings and the mud staining the gems on your shoes, jake comes to the sheer revelation of how uncanny it is for someone like you to ever take an interest in someone like heeseung. probably one in a billion times, it could be possible. and for heeseung to be that one in a billion times, there isn't much he could ever help with.

it's a sad realization, but there could only be so much one can do to overshadow the obvious differences to build love. after all it will ultimately all come down to feelings of the heart and not the material things heeseung could ever afford to do. and yet again there's only so much he could afford.

surely not an island. or a McLaren speedtail.

with little ‘watch out for the dirt’s here and there, the three of you are out in the field in no time.

as soon as you step foot on the clean grass of the sidelines, your hands slip away from both the guys and you walk ahead towards the front of the bleachers nonchalantly. taking a seat at one of the spots after you brush off the non existent dust.

“can you call seungie for me?” you ask, watching them hide away their phones in a startle as soon as you look over.

“actually let it be, i’ll just call him,” you mutter the moment their messages send. taking out your phone and dialling his contact while the two whisper to each other a feet away from you, trying to avoid any kind of eye contact.

within five minutes riki and jake both leave for their soccer practice.

and it takes heeseung a little over ten minutes after that to rush to the field. his frantic figure scanning the space to find you and as soon as his eyes fall on the bleachers he is making a run for it. out of breath and sweat dripping down the sides of his forehead when he halts before you.

almost knocked out by the ball in the middle, flying right into his head if not for his quick reflex of dodging it in time.

something about the way he seems to have rushed over, a look of panic etched over his pretty features, his tone one of worry as he asks you if you are okay and all of it just because you sounded a little bit upset over call makes you feel a twinge of fluffiness in a small corner inside of you. like a little flutter of butterfly wings grazing and tickling a chamber of your stomach that links straight to your heart.

you could have called yeonjun or soobin, knowing they would have dropped everything the moment you would have asked for them. but just something about the genuineness heeseung holds, something he does not have to, but something he does because he wants to, makes you crave to be comforted by him. strangely enough, for someone so spoiled who thinks of anyone less than them to be grateful to be looked at by them, lee heeseung holds a place in your heart that transcends your peculiar distaste and flawed view of class and wealth.

perhaps it is just the fact that you grew up together, hanging out over every break and occasions and special days for as long as you can remember. or perhaps it's because he is one of the few people besides your brothers who does not picture you as an ungrateful bitch(as some people like to call you behind your back) or perhaps you have grown a liking to him for he is there to take your side at every chance he gets.

or perhaps it's because he's lee heeseung, and you were just meant to let him into your world.

whatever the reason may be, you like to believe the kind of affection you have for him, is a tad bit different than what you hold for your brothers and it's also a tad bit different that what you used to hold for choi beomgyu.

the feeling you have for him, is special and in times like these it feels special to think that you are indeed, special to him too.

“tiny, are you okay?” heeseung asks periodically pausing between each word as he takes a seat beside you, the adrenaline pumping high through his veins.

“yeah, i am okay,” the smile you give him is as sincere as it could ever get, stretching wide across your face in a cute grin. you take one of his hands in yours, as always completely unaware of how his heart stops at your touch and place a strawberry candy onto his gym calloused palm. the one you got for beomgyu before he pissed you off. eyeroll.

“i got this for beomgyu but i think you should have it,” you say tracing a circle around the candy before looking into his eyes, cutting him off when you sense he is about to say something,”i want you to have it.”

“you— really— this is⁠—” heeseung struggles to speak, his insides going crazy over the situation. it has been a daily thing, you giving him candies every morning in the car while on the way to college. but it has never been one where you have given him something that was supposedly meant for someone else, someone else that you thought of in a romantic way. someone else that you thought of in a way that he wanted you think of with him in the picture.

to him, this was a small win.

“thank you, buns,” he smiles at you, finger reaching over to boop your nose, making you giggle.

“seungie, can we please go to that arcade you frequent? i really want to blow off some steam right now and i don't wanna take that out on you,” please take it out on me .. the puppy eyes you give him do little to distract him off the thought of you using him to feel better. oh man what wouldn't he give for that.

the look on your face almost making his heart and dick burst at the same time. how could he ever say no to that face? if you were to tell him to just put on a cock ring and deny himself of any oragasms with that look on your face, he'd say yes in a heartbeat ( leaving aside the fact that he'd probably lose control halfaway and pounce on you—) may god forgive him for thinking so unholy of a situation so innocent.

may, in time, yeonjun and soobin forgive him for thinking so unholy of their ever holy baby sister.

TAGLIST . ( OPEN ) @s00buwu @lilyuwon @pockyyasii @nctislifue @shawnyle @enhastolemyheart @aaa-sia @criminalyun @oddracha @satan-223 @diorsyun @hooniehon @fakeuwus @caramelcandescence @intromortal @kookify @sumzysworld @nikiswifiee @shuichi-sama @primroselover @rayofsunshineeee @aishigrey @soraokkotsu @nyfwyeonjun @srhnyx @trashx678 @wondipity @winuvs @hoondiors @niniissus @firstclassjaylee @biancaness @enhaz1 @sophi-ee @un06 @heelariously @d-earlog @pharaways @ethelia @eneiyri @secretbarbariangardener @seochangbinnnnnnnnnnn @microwavedstrawberr1es @randomanothercreature @thatsoraya @graythecoffeebean @rikibun @jaeyungxrl @mxxnintheskyreblogs

send an ask to be added! (if your comment goes unnoticed it is not my responsibility)

#enhypen imagines #enhypen smut #enhypen smau #LOVE HOW THIS TURNED OUT.. DO YALL LIKE IT???#enhypen heeseung smut #heeseung smut #enhypen heeseung imagines #heeseung imagines #enhypen social media au #enhypen social au #enhypen socmed au #enhypen texts #enhypen fake texts #enhypen series #heeseung smau

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only-luce-the-goose · 24 hours

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a request for arthur where he found out the bad news about not getting a seat in F2 and the reader spends time comforting him and cheering him up. thank you🫶🫶

Seat-Less

A/N: Thank you for the request! I hope you enjoy it🫶🏻 (I made it F1 just because I know a bit more about it, and not all facts are true)

Arthur Leclerc x reader

Synopsis: ⬆️⬆️⬆️

Warning: sad Arthur ☹️

Arthur’s manager had been talking to every team that had an open seat, with each one choosing a driver over Arthur. Ferrari had even picked Ollie for their new seat, replacing Dino as their reserve driver. Ollie got the call from his manager around lunch time. He had a week off and was spending it on your shared apartment in Monaco.

You were having lunch together on the balcony when Arthur’s phone went off. “Hello” he answered. He nodded, humming here and there. I could see his face drop and his eyes begin to water. You reached your hand out to his one the table, linking your fingers. “Merci, merci” he said as he ended the phone call.

Tears streamed down his cheeks when he looked up at you and sobbed, “I don’t have a seat this year, baby. They’ve all been filled” you quickly moved next to him, sitting on the armrest of his chair. His arms wound around your face and he buried his face in your neck. You ran your nails over his back, neck and scalp to soothe him. “Oh, Arty” you sighed, letting him cry.

After his tear ducts started to dry up he moved his face away from your neck, still holding on to you. “What do I do? I won’t be racing this year. I finished F2, I was the champion but I am not good for F1, no?” He asked you, doe brown eyes starting into yours. “I don’t know my love, why don’t we call Charles and see if he has any ideas?” Arthur just nodded his head.

You pulled your phone from the table and clicked on Charles contact. He answered on the third ring “ahh y/n, how are you?” You smiled at his good mood, not sure how he would react to the news. “I’m ok Charlie, I’ve just got a question for you” you told him. “Hit me with it” he responded.

“Arty’s manager just called and informed us that Arthur does not have a seat for the next season. Every spot has been filled, and Arty didn’t make the cut. Since he won the F2 championship last year, he won’t be racing this season. I thought we could call you and see if you know any ways we could still get him in a car this?”

"Oh brother, I am so sorry" Charle's mood dampened immediately. He sighed on the other end of the line "I can try and talk to some people to see if they would like a second reserve or a test driver. Otherwise, I don't know what to do Arthur." You looked to Arthur to see him zoned out. "That would be amazing, thank you so much Charlie" you said to him. "I'll do the best I can, y/n. Goodbye for now" he replied. "Bye" Arthur mumbled.

You placed your phone down and turned back to Arthur, "Why don't we go cuddle in bed? We can order pizza and watch your favorite show. Not getting a seat this year doesn't have to be the end of the world. You can spend the ear training really hard and put yourself out there again next silly season"

Arthur nodded, mumbling a "thank you" as you stood him up. You linked your hands together and made your way to your bed. You called the pizza place, being told the driver would arrive in half an hour. You put on Arthur's favorite show, letting him cuddle into your chest. You wrapped your arms around him, giving him a little squeeze. He looked up at you, giving you the perfect opportunity to plant a kiss on his lips.

"I love you, Arty. We're going to get through this, together" you mumbled to him. "I love you too, y/n. More than you know" Arthur moved his head back down, wriggling impossibly closer, a feeling of safety washing over him. He could do anything with you by his side.

#arthur leclerc #arthur leclerc x reader #arthur leclerc x y/n #arthur leclerc fluff #arthur leclerc x reader fluff #formula 1 #f1 x reader #f1 #prema racing

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alice-after-dark · 3 days

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back at it again with my shitty fandom hottakes — if you’re still accepting asks about the whole “canon v. fanon” thing, that is — because i have ✨ opinions ✨ that have been ruminating in my head for a while now and i kind of wanted to throw them out into the void (i DO humbly apologise for the length — i have more than one talking point and am not known for my brevity lol)

(1) Alastor being sex-repulsed, or just sex negative in general.

yeah, we’re getting the controversial one out of the way first: probably should clarify that i personally AM a sex-repulsed aroace and therefore, i can See why people, including our fellow aces, naturally come to this conclusion — really, it’s only when people tote this statement as fact *specifically* to deter shipping that annoys the hell out of me. Alastor is a mysterious character: we REALLY don’t know much of anything about him in the grand scheme of things beyond what he *chooses* to reveal and that includes the matter of his sexuality — and frankly, he doesn’t reveal much of anything on that front, man doesn’t even know what an “asexual” *is*, XD. Most evidence I’ve seen citing his so-called sex repulsion that *isn’t* just dubiously canon at best supplemental material such as the Hunnicast or simply headcanon being repackaged as fact are the two scenes where Alastor turns down Angel Dust — a character who, especially at that point in the narrative, is VERY forward in his hypersexuality. The thing that i just don’t see a lot of people acknowledge, however, is: (1) Alastor turns him down, yes, but not in any way that would characterize him as being *particularly* sex negative (“Ha! *No.*”/“Haha! Never going to happen!”), he’s just bluntly rejecting Angel Specifically; and (2) Husk *also* rejected Angel and far more overtly before the two started to genuinely bond + is much more open about his discomfort with Niffty’s kinks, and yet he isn’t treated as sex-repulsed by the much of fandom — quite the opposite, in fact. Frankly, while i can *see* the reasoning behind portraying Alastor as sex-repulsed, the idea of him being this sex negative person who lashes out or faints at the notion of literally *anything* that can be perceived as sexual to be laughable when you consider his long-lived friendship with Mimzy — a *flapper* — and that he grew up in a period of great sex revolution in the United States: just because the 1920s is considered “prudish” by today’s standards doesn’t negate that fact; i can easily see Alastor as being repressed as a consequence of the time period and his unwillingness to adapt, but not to the extent that he’ll keel over seeing a fucking ankle getting flashed or while getting hit on — he *is* an adult, after all, and has had plenty of time to adjust to Hell’s general hedonism while not partaking in it himself.

(2) the infantilization of Charlie, Niffty, and Velvette. pretty self explanatory, i think: fandom in *general* has a pretty glaring issue of treating happy-go-lucky or just...short characters, especially women or neurodivergent characters, like children and it’s not *just* limited to hazbin fandom — it just makes me sad.

Charlie gets it slightly less *severely* compared to the other two, i believe, but i still see it crop of in some sects: yes, she’s clearly sheltered, and yes, she wears her heart on her sleeve to her detriment, but she’s also a grown ass woman (Faustisse — who i don’t personally consider a reliable source for most things relating to the current day show by virtue to them having left the project in 2020 — has stated that she is around 200 years old, so i’m going with the general assumption she’s older than MOST sinners here) and she *is* trying to run a business beyond feel good therapy exercises, however messily because, frankly, she isn’t particularly *good* at doing business: still, i see certain sects of the fandom treat and portray her as having the naivety of a child, reducing her to an “uwu smol bean” blindly trusting even the shadiest of fuckers like Alastor without any hesitation or critical thinking whatsoever under the notion of “well, EVERYONE can be redeemed” and relegating characters like Vaggie to be glorified babysitters at *best*: in canon, yes her ideas of redemption aren’t particularly well-rounded *yet* and it’s clear there’s a disconnect between her and other sinners due to her upbringing, but she *isn’t* an idiot — she’s well aware Alastor is shifty as fuck and doesn’t have her best interests at heart no matter how much she hopes he secretly *does* care, that’s *why* she held off on making any deals with him until she was driven into a corner, and she has no problem calling people out on their shittiness or showing her teeth just because she leans more towards pacifism compared to the rest of the cast.

Niffty, frankly, isn’t treated *much* better in canon compared to fandom, but that’s honestly a rant for a *different* day: it’s obvious she likely has SOME kind of disorder to explain much of her more eccentric behaviour, frankly we can speculate but we simply won’t know for sure until we know more about her in general, which *may* come in s2 considering where things left off with her. Oftentimes in fanon, she’s pigeonholed into simply being “Alastor’s hypomanic daughter” rather than her own individual character, which is a shame — it’s obvious the two have an amicable relationship despite her being his thrall, but it doesn’t read as particularly familial to me personally beyond him finding her antics amusing (and in a, frankly, patronizing way typical of Alastor) — and she’s regularly coddled, not allowed to have relationships with other characters *beyond* a parental dynamic with deerboi or husk: despite the actual show pointing to her having, at the very least, a friendly relationship with Mimzy and the rest of the hotel’s guests, and her being a former housewife who’s explicitly into hardcore kink/BDSM.

Velvette getting this treatment is the most egregious to me, tbh: i’ve frequently seen her be boiled down to being staticmoth’s glorified wingwoman/their daughter rather than their *equal* and business partner — frankly, i think people hear that she was the “youngest Overlord” and took that in the most literal way possible to portray her as a glorified teenager, her being a social media influencer not helping matters in that regard because people tend to subconsciously associate social media primarily with teenage girls due to bias. i can’t speak on *some* aspects of her infantilization in fandom that gives me a particular case of the “ick”, but I can’t help but be bothered by it showing up even in work I *enjoy*. Food for thought, all that jazz.

(3) Vox being portrayed as this overly flirtatious and horny 24/7 voyeur creep guy, *especially* around Alastor. this may just be my bisexuality speaking, but it just...*doesn’t* sit well with me when so far the only *confirmed* bisexual male character in the show is written with this sleazy behaviour he doesn’t exhibit in the show proper — yes, he’s suave and charismatic, and clearly not a prude considering his frenching with Val and...well, Val: “[which whore] could i be talking about?!” Vox: [points to self], and yes, he runs surveillance literally *everywhere*, but...[sighs] He Would Not Fucking Say That, guys — where at *best*, he’s a horndog, and at worst, an outright rapist, who’s *solely* driven by his obsession with Alastor and fuck the rest of his character, i guess. It just...makes me uncomfortable. but hey, that’s just me.

(christ on a stick this is a lot, i am so, so sorry :skull:)

Oh, MK, this was delicious. Do not apologize for the length, I am absolutely delighted. I am always interested in hearing peoples’ hot takes!

(1) Alastor being sex-repulsed, or just sex negative in general.

I totally get you on this one and honestly, I never thought about the Husk angle but you’re absolutely right. Husk rejects Angel way more often that Alastor and yet I have never seen Husk labeled as sex-repulsed, yet Alastor is labeled as that for…doing the exact same thing? What? I’m asexual and possibly aromantic myself, and this just rubs me the wrong way with people just assuming because he’s asexual that he doesn’t like sex full-stop. Not how it works.

I also really like how you point out the historical context of it. The 1920s were a time, man. This fic explores some of the crazy things that went down in the 1920s and it’s wild. But yeah, the idea that he would freak out over any little sexual thing (which…we actively see him not do?) is frustrating and kind of makes him out to be this delicate flower whose innocence must be protected.

Now, if people want to make him sex repulsed for various reasons, then go right ahead, but I definitely agree that it irks me when I see people trying to use it as an argument against literally any ship with Alastor.

(2) the infantilization of Charlie, Niffty, and Velvette.

Yeah, I definitely see this. Charlie is naive, but it gets ramped up a lot. People forget she is literally now an official war veteran and has actually led an army into battle. She is an overwhelmingly positive character, yes, but she’s not an infant. We even saw in the pilot that she was cautious and hesitant to even speak to Alastor, let alone make a deal with him (she slammed the door in his face twice). She is kind and emotional and optimistic, but she’s not stupid. She wants to see the best in everyone. This doesn’t make her a child. And like you said, we see her demon side come out when she’s angry. She’s not above getting pissed and letting it show when she really wants to.

I think people honestly forget that Niffty is not a child. She looks like one, but yeah no she’s an adult. Like you pointed out, this is done pretty frequently in canon and fanon. I honestly like her and Alastor more as friends than as a parental relationship, someone who entertains him and he genuinely enjoys the company of. I do hope we get to see a little bit more of her being an actual character in season 2 because I do love her and want to see better for her.

Velvette is complicated for me as the Instagram kind of did set her up as their daughter, so I think a lot of people got used to that concept. But honestly? I prefer them as equals. I can see Vox taking on more of a mentor role with her when they first started out while Valentino was more her creative BFF, but ultimately she is shown to be a capable character who can stand on her own two feet. I do think the whole social media thing and her being the youngest plays into her infantilization alongside her previous incarnation, but I definitely prefer her as an equal player in the game.

(3) Vox being portrayed as this overly flirtatious and horny 24/7 voyeur creep guy, especially around Alastor.

Fucking THIS. Okay, gonna just jump forward a bit here, but people calling him a creepy horny voyeur because of the cameras bothers me so much. HE. IS. A. CONTROL. FREAK. Those cameras aren’t for him to jack off to! They’re literally to siphon information and blackmail and anything else useful. He is a connoisseur of information. Literally every instance where we see him using his camera, HE IS INFO GATHERING. The one exception is when he is watching Alastor’s fight with Adam and that is clearly outside his norm. That being said, I think people take that scene and run with it, especially his comment about being “so hard right now,” which I think is ridiculous. He’s exaggerating, he’s having fun and joking around because the guy he hates is getting his ass handed to him. And the idea that his obsession with Alastor rules his brain 24/7 is a hard pass for me. The man is the CEO of a media and technological empire. He does not have the time to devote his every waking moment to obsessing over Alastor. In the scene where Pentious calls him, it’s pretty clear that Vox was busy doing other things both times he was called. He wasn’t sitting around with bated breath waiting for Sir Pentious to report in. He was just going about his day and getting his shit done.

Also hard agree as a fellow bisexual that it’s troubling that the only confirmed male bisexual character gets so hypersexualized in a way that he…doesn’t demonstrate at all? Literally the one time we see him get sexual is the fight with Adam. That’s it and yet suddenly it’s his entire personality. The flirtiest we ever see him act is during his part with Valentino in the finale and even that isn’t focused on sex or romance. It’s more them talking about being in power.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin vox #hazbin alastor #hazbin niffty #hazbin husk #hazbin charlie #charlie morningstar #hazbin velvette #ask #alice rambles #hazbin hotel vox #vox hazbin hotel

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sophieinwonderland · 2 days

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A More Comprehensive Look At Proxy Bypassing...

One of my posts recently talked about Proxying and Proxy Bypassing. This seems to have created some confusion about how Proxying and Proxy Bypassing actually work. And I'll confess, I'm not always the best at explaining things.

So before going on, I want to establish what these terms actually mean.

Proxying: This is the act of typing or writing for another headmate who isn't fronting.

Proxy Bypassing: Bypassing occurs when, while proxying, the nonfronter's words start flowing directly into the fingers faster than the fronter can process them.

To eliminate some of the confusion, I edited the title of the diagram from before to make it clear that this is mostly about the bypassing itself, not just proxying in general.

It is possible for systems to proxy without bypassing happening, which I don't think I was clear enough on when I made the diagram.

But it does USUALLY happen. Especially when writing long paragraphs.

Some have also asked how this is different from possession. And the difference, to me, lies in the fact that possession is more voluntary movement whereas proxy bypassing is largely involuntary and happens unconsciously. People don't choose to Bypass and often may not even realize it happened until after the fact.

So... what's actually going on here?

Because the above is an explanation for what it is, but not actually why it happens.

Well for that, we need to talk about some basic psychology and neurology.

The Cerebrum and Cerebellum

To start, let's take this very basic diagram of the brain from the Cleveland Clinic. Later, we're going to draw all over it in a way definitely not approved by the Cleveland Clinic.

The Cerebrum is the biggest part of your brain. This is the part of your brain that deals with higher thinking, consciousness, emotions, autobiographical memories, etc. There is a lot going on here. But as plurals, just know that if your headmates are anywhere in the brain, it's going to be in the Cerebrum.

Meanwhile the Cerebellum is more for carrying out more automatic processes, balance, motor control etc.

Do you ever notice how when you walk, you aren't consciously thinking about putting one foot in front of the other? How you aren't consciously thinking about how to maintain balance and not fall over? You just sort of point the body in the direction you want it to go, decide the speed you want to walk, and then it kind of just handles all those other details on its own without you having to think about it.

One way to imagine this might be that the Cerebrum contains more conscious programs like headmates... while the Cerebellum contains nonconscious ones. Commands of where to walk and how fast are sent from headmates in the Cerebrum to the Cerebellum which then actually dictates the movement.

(Note: This is a huge, HUGE oversimplification about these brain structures. But it's a necessary one for what I'm trying to explain here.)

We might conceptualize this relationship like this:

Headmate 1 sends what they want to happen to the Walking Program which then sends it to the through your nerves to have the actions carried out.

As you might guess, typing similarly is ran by processes in the Cerebellum, as are basically all motor skills. That's why it often feels a little automatic when you're typing, and why you don't need to think of where every individual letter is on the keyboard as you type.

So just as there's a walking program, there's also a typing program.

Now, when Proxying without Bypassing, Headmate 2 sends information to Headmate 1 who sends it to the Typing Program in the Cerebellum.

But as you can see, this is inefficient. It's an incredibly inefficient way for the brain to work.

So what does it do instead?

Well, my theory is that the Typing program essentially starts listening to Headmate 2 directly, if it already knows that it's going to be typing what Headmate 2 is saying. There's no logical reason to keep Headmate 1 involved in the process with Headmate 1 just acting as a middleman.

Hence, the signal bypasses the fronter and goes straight into the typing program.

Headmate 1 has not actually left front even if they may be a bit dissociated. But this automatic program is now taking instructions from a different headmate.

And unless Headmate 2 can already possess limbs, they may still not be able to do anything else with the hands except type. Because they're still not actually possessing. They're just sending information to the typing program which is what's actually sending it to the fingers.

Conclusion

I hope this explains a bit better how proxying and proxy bypassing work.

Thanks everyone who asked about proxying and proxy bypassing, because I tend to forget that just because something is making sense in my head, it won't to everyone else's and I need to get better at explaining these concepts in ways people can understand. Hopefully this was a bit more successful.

And thanks to the Cleveland Clinic for giving me such a nice brain to draw all over! 😜

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percahliaweek · 2 days

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FAQ '24

What tag should I use?

#percahliaweek is our designated tag - you can @ us @percahliaweek so we can reblog your contribution on the corresponding day.

Where are the prompts?

Ah, seems this has escaped containment then. You can find them HERE!

Will you be doing anything on Twitter/other social media?

We considered it! However, as other social media sites have proven unreliable (especially lately), we'll be hosting the event only on Tumblr. However, you're welcome to post your work wherever you like! Just understand that without a Tumblr post we can't exactly RB your entry.

Can I do _ for the event?

Yes. Yep. That too. Seriously, so long as it focuses on Perc'ahlia (and is appropriately tagged to avoid spoiling people), you can do it. Cosplay, inspired recipes, beadwork, podfic, go wild! Well, with the caveat that no hateful content will be permitted - don't use a joyous event to rain on someone else's parade or promote hatespeech, alright?

Is NSFW content allowed?

Given the ship in question and just how canonically horny they are for eachother - yes! However, we request that you tag this content as #nsfw and use the appropriate content filter on it. If posting in the Discord server, keep it to the 18+ chat. Be mindful of potential minors in fandom space + people browsing content in public.

I want to participate but haven't watched Campaign 1!

We welcome fans of The Legend of Vox Machina with open arms. As a result, it's requested that campaign fans do their best to avoid spoiling show fans for anything beyond what Season 2 has shown (Umbrasyl's defeat). That means late Campaign 1, the oneshots and any mention of them in other campaigns should be tagged as #cr1 spoilers (using just this tag for simplicity). Show fans, if you want to remain unspoiled, I recommend you block this on Tumblr and mute spoilery channels in the server.

Wait - what might get spoiled for me here?

The #cr1 spoilers tag should broadly cover anything TLOVM hasn't yet, but do note that Percival and Vex'ahlia pop up in Campaign 3 and so some fics might contain mild spoilers for the events of that campaign and the decades between their epilogue and now.

Is there an AO3 collection for the fanfics?

Yes! HERE it is, ready and waiting for your fics! If interested in last year's fics (which definitely deserve some love), you can find them over HERE!

Does my submission have to fit one of the prompts?

That would be ideal, yes! Anything freeform should be posted on Day 5 for Free/Random prompts. But fitting the prompt can be very loose - maybe you just use the word as a motif, or you take it in an entirely unexpected direction. We want to encourage creativity and fun more than anything else.

I don't know what to do for the Free/Random day!

We have a few recommendations (we are unaffiliated with the websites linked): Random page of the Encyclopedia Exandria Random word generator OTP prompt generator AU generator Ghost’s Spell prompts [roll 2d20?] Wild Magic Surge table Life events table If you've made prompt lists and would not mind them being featured here, reach out!

How did you choose the prompts?

Prompts were selected by a combination of admin discussion and voting in our Discord server to try and ensure a good mix of evocative prompts (we see y'all voting disproportionately for the Scars prompt! We see it!).

Where can I find last year's prompts?

You can find the list and links to individual tags HERE. Given last year was our first year, we unfortunately didn't think to tag Day 1 until after the fact (we'll need to go and clean that up).

Why late September?

On September 29th, 2016, the Critical Role episode 'Passed Through Fire' aired, which features an iconic Perc'ahlia moment (no spoilers for show fans!). Following Burr's poll last year on which scene is most iconic for the pairing, we decided to have the week celebrate the anniversary of that episode. And, with TLOVM S3 airing the next week, who knows - we might get the animated version to go with it soon! ;3

Is it okay if I only do one prompt?

This event is intended to be relaxed and fun - one entry, or seven, or fourteen, however many you want! We've tried to announce the event earlier this year, to allow for more time for everyone to work on their entries, so please don't feel pressured to do them all the week of. And if you can't finish on time, there's no pressure: late submissions will still be RB'd and added to the AO3 collection. Mind you, after a month or two we might stop checking the blog and tag regularly, so your best bet is to @ us or post in the Discord server!

A Discord server?

We have set up a little server for this event on Discord, mostly to hang out with other Perc'ahlia fans and motivate eachother to work on our respective projects. The current link is HERE - let us know if it's not working!

Who is hosting this?

At the moment the users running this blog are @burr-ell, @blorbologist, @crithaus, @essayofthoughts and @rightpastnowhere! If you have any questions or concerns (i.e. we didn't see your post and missed RBing it :c) please let us know!

Any more questions? Feel free to send in an ask and we'll do our best to answer in a timely manner!

#percahliaweek #percahliaweek24 #critical role #percival de rolo #vex'ahlia #percahlia #perc'ahlia

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darkstarofchaos · 2 days

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More spoilers for EarthSpark.

Okay. Let's talk about the Chaos Terrans.

The Good

Spitfire was the only one of the two I'd seen before watching the new episodes, so I was really worried that all of the Chaos Terrains would just be Dark Versions of the existing cast. It was a relief to meet Aftermath pretty much immediately and realize not all of them are recolors.

Nice of them to explain why the Chaos Terrans were different from the regular ones.

Honestly, the bodyswapping episode might be my favorite of the batch. Which is a bit like choosing the best of the worst, but I honestly kind of like the trope, and I appreciate that it wasn't played for comedy at all. I also really appreciate that they kept the VAs matched with the bodies instead of the characters, because one of my least favorite things about bodyswap stories is when characters keep their own voices. The VAs also did a really good job of playing each other's characters, even if the dialogue itself was painful at times.

Aftermath immediately adopting Spitfire as his sister was cute.

I liked Spitfire initially. She was a bit young to be so apathetic (girl, you've been alive for five minutes, where's your joie de vivre?), but compared to Aftermath just wanting to destroy stuff, it was a relief that not all of the Chaos Terrans were going to be like that.

The Bad

The moment Twitch got chosen to go on a mission, I knew Spitfire was going to be jealous and that was going to define her character from then on. And then she started going on about being superior to Twitch, and yup. Just a standard Dark Version with a superiority complex. Again, you have been alive for five minutes, you shouldn't even have a frame of reference to understand superlatives yet.

On that note, love how the Chaos Terrans just pop into existence and know things instantly. And can scan an altmode and transform within seconds of coming online, while the regular Terrans took days, weeks, or months to even figure out what they wanted to be. Glad we're chucking the worldbuilding in the trash along with the characterization.

Seriously, though, what is it about the Chaos Terrans that makes them just understand everything the moment they come alive? I can accept it from shows like G1 where new bots were built and programmed, but the Terrans are birthed spontaneously and have no knowledge whatsoever. I could kind of overlook how quickly the triplets went from zero to sixty because the plot needed them to catch on fast, but these kids just start at sixty. I hate it when characters with literally two seconds' worth of experience are just instantly able to hold conversations about things they've never even heard of.

Why, exactly, did Spitfire have to scan the drone? Even if she was too heavy for Twitch to carry, Twitch could have just caught her and slowed their fall enough to land safely. They had plenty of time. This entire "I'm you but better" thing was completely avoidable (unless Spitfire chose to scan the drone afterward, but at least then Twitch wouldn't have brought the misery on herself).

How did the cast manage to go a year collecting shards before a Chaos Terran happened? If high velocity and water are all it takes, how did none of the shards land in bodies of water immediately after the Emberstone was originally shattered? How did most of them not end up in the ocean? These things should have done like Lilo and Stitch and spawned aliens everywhere.

The Ugly

Wow. We're really doing the Evil From Birth thing, aren't we. Really doing the "they can't be redeemed because they were born bad" thing, huh. Congratulations, that might be the single most irresponsible message you can put in children's media. Nothing says "some people are born different and that's not okay" like making a pair of literal children irredeemable because of the circumstances of their birth.

I hate the fact that I knew Aftermath was going to die almost as soon as he was born. I mean, the shard was in his spark, there was no way anyone was fixing the Emberstone without removing it somehow. Same with Spitfire. Yeah, let's not only make them evil from birth, let's kill them because of the thing that made them different. Let's doom them from birth to have their organs harvested. Forget the mutated creatures, psychological violations, and all the other horrors going on in EarthSpark, this might be the darkest thing that's happened in this series. Y'know, that and the pair of them being slaughtered onscreen.

What was the point in them even existing. What lasting impact did they leave on the series, apart from being Starscream's moral event horizon. Unless the writing gets way better in the next batch of episodes, no one is going to miss them. No one came away meaningfully changed from having known them. And of course, the Emberstone is dust now, so their deaths didn't even matter ten minutes later. They died for nothing, and I would be surprised if they even come up again outside of condemning Starscream for his actions.

I didn't even like the Chaos Terrans as characters, and I feel so bad for them.

#transformers #Transformers EarthSpark #EarthSpark spoilers #Aftermath #Spitfire

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acourtofthought · 2 days

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I'd love to hear your take on the frankly alarming degree to which e/riels seem to perceive Elain as if she were real person who needs all this protection and defence from """antis""" (adding three quotes on that because I find the term hilarious, honestly). Maybe it's just what the algorithm is showing me but it seems to me that this rampant, aggressive, near feral attitude of e/riels trying to prove they're the only ones who care about Elain and everyone else is, in their eyes, almost an evil caricature out to hate on her is so prevalent these days? I see plenty of rational ones too, but the vocal ones (that I see) seem to have lost their grip on reality vs fiction.

It's always "we care what Elain wants and Elucien's don't" isn't it?

So what they're saying is they are happy for Elain's character to end up with a guy who hasn't thought of a future with her beyond his sexual fantasies, called her a mistake before Rhys even spoke to him, can't admit to being over the female he loved for centuries, doesn't think Elain can handle the trove, gave her zero credit for her part in the war and felt a spark in his chest over the thought of another females joy simply because "it's what she wants" (though we actually don't have canon evidence that what Elain wanted from Az was anything more than a hookup).

These are books so what she wants honestly doesn't matter because her arc isn't over and SJM has the final say on what she wants (something that she has proven to have no issues changing up for her FMC) but say she was a real person. Say your best friend wanted a guy who felt better after spending time with a different girl, who wanted a guy who didn't think of a future with her beyond a night of hooking up, and they'd be completely supportive of that simply because "it's what she wants"?

My sister WANTED to stay married to a guy who was verbally abusive because she has low self esteem issues. While we accepted that it was her life and therefore she made her own choices we weren't required to be excited about it. We were allowed to see how unhappy the situation made her despite her inability to leave at the time, we were allowed to acknowledge how bad he was for her. We were allowed to hope that someday she'd meet someone who was better for her.

To me it's a very immature frame of mind to think that the people who care for you, truly care for you (and are not just motivated by their own desires) need to be happy with what you want when those people often are able to view how those things are unhealthy for you. We are at times our own worst enemy and when we're struggling with things like trauma we don't always make the best decisions. Elucien's are able to spot this behavior in Elain right now especially when she herself confirmed in SF that she still has trauma despite her attempts at find some sort of purpose in the NC. We are able to clearly see how she's choosing to avoid her real problems in favor of fixating on something that gives her a shot of dopamine which, while understandable after great change and loss, is not the way to go about having real character growth.

Does Mor not also have purpose in the NC? But is Mor making the best decisions for her own personal life at this point in the series? The same can be said of Elain's character.

We've all witnessed how Sarah writes a FMC wanting one guy only to start the deterioration of his character so that her eventually wanting another makes sense to us.

Feyre loved Tamlin to the point she was willing to die for him in book 1 but the author hammered home the red flags in book 2 paving the way for Rhys.

Aelin loved Chaol in book 2 of the TOG series only to for Sarah to write his later actions as being something she was unable to forgive, paving the way for her to eventually fall for Rowan (after having no romantic interest in him at the start).

Lucien was introduced as a possible love interest for Elain when the author mated them in book 2 (a very simple fact that proves that if they do end up together Sarah went the route of what SHE wanted and not fanservice since mates getting together is the hallmark of a fated mates author). But instead of ruining Lucien as a possible love interest for Elain, instead of writing him as doing something problematic that makes us understand why he's not the guy for Elain, she has continually written him to be supportive of what she wants, going out of his way to do what is best for her, has him acknowledge her bravery in the war, has him meet her father and realize what a good man he was, has him stare at Elain and only Elain with longing two years after their bond snapped. A lot like what we saw with Rhys for Feyre or Cassian for Nesta, where they longed for the females despite them pushing them away.

If Sarah did not want Elucien's to have hope that they might overcome any current obstacles she would have gone out of her way to show us exactly why he's not the right guy for Elain despite what anti's claim Elain wants right now. Because again, what Elain wants can change and precedence shows us what a FMC wants often does. Not to mention we don't know the exact reasons Elain has withdrawn from Lucien meaning there might be some deeply meaningful explanation for it in the same way we saw with Nesta for Cassian.

You know whose character she did begin to tarnish though? Az when it comes to Elain. He looked sweet towards her in ACOWAR and FAS but in SF he was petty, childish, jealous. He went off half-cocked at how he'd easily defeat Lucien (who is most certainly a future HL and by default will automatically have more power than Az will ever have once his powers manifest, Lucien who controlled the fiercest warrior of the Illyrians with a single word), she wrote him as never once acknowledging how Elain also saved him in the war, how she saved Cassian and Nesta during the war, how she saved Briar during the war. Sarah wrote Az has never having thought of a future with Elain beyond his sexual fantasies. She wrote Az very quickly moving past the events of Solstice with Elain and showing admiration for another female, believing in that females ability to take care of herself, having that female spark something in is chest that is a thing of secret lovely beauty.

It's fine if some people still like the idea of Az and Elain but let's not fool ourselves, it's clear that the author is not writing Az as being the good guy when it comes to her. She gave him the Tamlin treatment when it comes to Elain and we all know what that spells out.

I think the most amusing thing for me will be hearing what anti's have to say when / if Elucien is written as endgame after years of telling us that we don't care for Elain. When the author herself decides Lucien is the best thing for her, when the author herself decides to have them fall in love, when the author herself has left us those clues all along, are they going to accuse the fated mates author who created this world and these characters of not caring about a character they themselves had zero part in bringing to life?

#elucien #pro elucien #elain archeron #lucien vanserra #anti e/riel #pro lucien vanserra

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love-note-musings · 1 day

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For the Emoji drabble!

🏹 + Leviathan ??

Have a good day! ^^

╰₊✧ ﾟ⚬𓂂➢ Obey Me! Leviathan x Reader

from this emoji prompt list: 🏹 | waking up from a nightmare

✩₊˚.⋆please ignore that this literally was sitting in my drafts for literal years lmao☾⋆⁺₊✧

Envy does as envy knows best. It festers, becomes symptomatic, viral, and infectious. Left untreated, it can leave a nasty scar where there’s supposed to be something tender. And Levi, out of all people, knows this the best. He’s the most infected out of them all.

He couldn’t escape the sensation that he was the worst choice for you even during sleep. The idea that you had merely settled for him out of pity clung onto him like a leech, regardless of the assurances you offered him. Levi knew that constantly reaffirming him was tiring, he knew that it was annoying, but he couldn’t shake this lurching feeling off of him.

Dreams lived to affirm his fears. He could have forgiven you for cheating, why wouldn’t you? He could have forgiven you for falling out of love, for choosing someone else—in fact, he expected it. Out of everything, he could have forgiven you for almost everything you could throw his way if it meant he could stay by your side a little while longer. So, while the amalgamation of his fears constructed itself in front of him, Levi had already forgiven you.

There was a red tint on your face as your brows furrowed, eyes barreling down onto his figure. Hurling insult after insult all the while yelling at the top of your lungs, Levi could only look up at you as if you were a god, listening as you affirmed all of the negative thoughts he had about himself. If you out of all people could see it, then it must be true, right? When he could see how happy and joyful you looked with others, he couldn’t help but compare the smile you gave to him versus the one you gave to your friends.

Levi didn’t notice that he had woken up with tears staining the corners of his eyes, or how they dripped down off his cheek and onto the pillow beneath his head. All he could feel was the gapping feeling inside his chest and the way his lungs stung. He didn’t notice that he was heaving until you placed your hand on his chest.

“Shh, I got you,” you assured while sitting him up on your bed. using your thumb you wiped off some of the tears flooding his face and pulled him close.

He was hesitant even as he felt your arms holding him. Slowly, he crumbled into your embrace, resting his head against your chest so he could feel your heartbeat. His arms shakily held onto you while he hid his tear stained face. You offered him such comfort and softness even when his own subconscious gave him none.

“What kind of nightmare has gotten you so sad, dear?”

Levi found it hard to explain to you something so otherworldly, something so contrary to your demeanor. A nightmare - because that’s all it was. And because you weren’t the amalgamation he constructed in his mind. You weren’t some cruel human who would pluck at his heartstrings and drag them along like a dog on the leash. This was the real you. Your arms were warm, your gaze was soft. In the moment, it felt silly to even imagine you as some sort of poised bully.

Yet, that image always came back as some sort of lurking insecurity. You had certainly done nothing to give him such vivid fears. More importantly, how could he explain this to you all in the dead of night?

"Can you just. . I mean, we can talk about it later. Can you just hold me, like this, for now?" Levi managed to stutter out while he willed to calm his beating heart.

All you did was smile at him. "Yeah, of course, Levi. You want me to put on a show for background noise while you go back to sleep?"

"Sounds good." He answered, more than content to stay right here with you.

Neither of you even seemed to notice that most of your blankets and pillows had already been kicked off the bed.

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quietwingsinthesky · 3 months

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Hiiiii! So, a few days ago you were talking about the whole thing with Amy, Rory, and River. And when I saw those posts a thought arose in my head and I wish to share it with you.

Since River grew up with Amy and Rory as Mels. And Mels was Amy's best friend do you think that they ever talked about children? Since I know that it can come up when talking with friends, and like... do you think that Amy might've ever expressed whether or not she wanted children?

And if she didn't, that Mels would've had to listen to her mother say that she doesn't want children? The idea is so heartbreaking and sooo interesting.

What do you think about it?

no, no, see, you're so right and this drives me wild.

because, the way i see it, i don't think amy wanted children. she's somewhere on the 'hasn't thought about it' to 'vaguely negative feelings about it happening' range to me, which falls sharply into 'Not Happening Ever Again' post-s6. (specifically, in terms of having a kid herself, even if she could, i really don't think she would. i do love that she and rory end up adopting a kid later, because that does make sense, for amy pond who grew up alone in one universe with her family swallowed by cracks in time before the doctor helped her set it right again, for her to want to make sure another child won't be alone in the world like she was. getting off-track here.)

and that's so. because the first real memory river/mels has of amy is of amy shooting at her. and depending on how well the silence fucked up the rest of her memory, it might be one of the very first memories she has at all. that's how she met her mother, crying for help and getting a bullet instead. her mother tried to kill her, so of course, you have to think. she must have needed to hear that she was wanted, right? even if she was taken away, even if amy shot her, at some point, melody must have been wanted?

river is good at getting people to do what she wants, but she is very, very bad at subtlety. and mels is younger, has less practice, so when she wants to know this, she's just going to ask. blunt and quick, easy enough because amy's used to the way mels will open her mouth and you just have to be ready to roll with what comes out if you want to keep up. it's why they're such good friends (like mother, like daughter.)

they're nine, and mels asks if amy wants kids, and amy wrinkles up her nose and says she won't have time for children, obviously, once her raggedy doctor finally comes back. they're fifteen, and amy and rory dance will they-won't they in a way that makes mels twitchy to watch, and taunting amy about wanting to have rory's babies is a good way to get on her nerves. but amy calls her gross, tells her she's got more life planned than children would leave room for, and besides, imagine her, a mom? it'd be a disaster.

mels does. a lot. she looks at her mother and just sees her best friend instead. she's not even sure what she wishes was there, but. maybe amy's right. and besides. imagine her, a daughter, instead of the ticking time bomb she really is? it'd be a disaster.

they're sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, and on. mels stands on the outside of a love story that births a universe. and her. how do you compete with that? not that she would know, not yet, she hasn't been there. but it doesn't make her feel any less alienated when amy and rory talk in whispers about a half-remembered world that's bled through to this life, about roman soldiers and boxes and the big bang of belief.

all these memories, they never mention children. on amy's wedding day, she's different, not like someone remembering a dream but someone who lived it. rory stands straighter, won't leave her side, and they're both so much older than they were yesterday. maybe now, right? a wedding's as good a time as any to decide you want kids.

mels not being at amy & rory's wedding is such an obvious lazy way of them trying to explain why they totally didn't just throw this plot twist together at the last minute that i'm not even going to acknowledge it. of course she was at their wedding. she's their best friend. there's too many people around the doctor, and she wasn't ready today of all days, so despite this horrible burning need under her skin to strike, she stays her hand. doesn't let him dance with her because she might just tear his throat out if he gets too close. stays with amy and rory as the maid of honor should. she must have been there for the awkward questions that always gets asked, 'so, any plans for a baby?' 'when am i getting grandkids?' 'oh, you two are going to have gorgeous children together.' standing a few feet from amy in her wedding dress and watching her mother tense and grit her teeth and brush off the questions. watching her look nervously at rory but never ask if he means it when his mom asks him if he'd prefer a son or a daughter, and rory answers 'either one, some day, not anytime soon.'

god i'm just going on and on, aren't i. but really, what's it like to know that amy never changed her mind. the next time she sees them, she's already been born and stolen. i don't like let's kill hitler for. so many reasons. but there is something compelling about how recklessly river lashes out at the world, at the doctor. even her sacrifice at the end is almost suicidal, throwing all her regenerations into this man without knowing if that will even work or if it might kill her to do it. but it makes more sense in the context of someone who has reached the end of a long, long wait for some kind of indication, any kind, that her mother wanted to have her. and finally been told, no. she didn't choose melody.

#like. to be clear also: i don't think the fact that amy didn't want kids and really didn't have a choice in giving birth to river #means that she wouldn't love river. i think it would make their relationship Complicated but i do think amy loves her. so much.#that's her daughter but it's also her best friend.#but like. god. to spend your whole childhood hoping you'll hear about some little glimmer of yourself.#a dream. a passing mention. a debate on baby names. anything. and to hear nothing.#and river is. like. she is really really bad at relationships right? we know this.#the person she's closest to is the doctor and she spends most of her life believing *he doesn't even love her*.#we're talking about someone whose base assumption about everyone is that they will try to hurt her at some point so she should always keep #one hand armed.#and her mother. didn't choose to have her. didn't have that choice. that has to fuck her up a little.#(and also serve as proof that river is. so so bad at knowing when she is loved. because maybe amy didn't choose to have her but she named #melody pond after mels her best friend. she has been choosing river every day for the past however many years since mels decided to come #here and be near her mom and dad even if only as kids. but river still can't see it.#and. given the nature of how the ponds disappear from her life. and we never get any closure about them and river.#you have to wonder if she ever did. river song do you know your mother loves you?#having the melody-as-river reveal be so close to the end of the season and then getting rid of amy & rory before they can actually do #anything with the three of them as a messed up little family unit is the show's biggest crime. because i don't know! i don't know if river #knew her parents loved her! i don't know if she *ever* came to terms with how she was born and how they didn't need to choose her then to #choose her now! i don't know if river ever really felt comfortable thinking of them as her parents rather than her friends?#according to the transcripts. river calls amy 'mother' twice. (and 'mummy' once jokingly.) she calls rory 'father' once. and 'dad' in angel #in manhattan. and it just. it drives insane right? it's almost weirdly formal. like the words aren't right but she knows she should say the #and. and. i don't think i'm ever going to get over river song.#i think that's the takeaway here.#ask #doctor who #river song #amy pond #rory williams

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martyrbat · 2 years

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the man who falls – secret origins (1989)

[ID: Two cropped comic pages of Bruce Wayne as a child after falling into a cave and being ambushed by a swarm of bats. There's multiple narration boxes over the pages:

Page One: a three panel sequence of Bruce being rescued by his father. In the first panel, Bruce is screaming with his eyes squeezed shut in fear. He has his fists clenched in front of him and is wearing a reddish pink turtleneck sweater. The narration says, ‘Again, he shrieked — not in terror, but in despair...’ In the second panel, Thomas Wayne is shown from behind in a low angle. He's wearing a red sweater similar to Bruce and is holding a flashlight as he jerks Bruce into him. Above them is bats surrounding them and the broken wood floors that Bruce fell through. The narration continues, ‘The arm curled around him, muffling his voice, and his cheek rubbed against the rough wool of his father's jacket... He squeezed his eyes shut, willing himself to be away from here—’. In the third panel, they're standing outside. The narration reads, ‘When he opened them, he was in the area behind the mansion, in the pale light of the autumn afternoon, and his father's words pounded at him—’. Thomas is kneeling down in front of Bruce in front of the hole he fell in. He's gripping the child's shoulders as he scolds him, “Idiot! I told you never, never to go off alone. Didn't I? Didn't I?” Martha Wayne is behind them with her hand on the side of her face as she looks at them with relief that Bruce is okay.

Page Two: Martha is defending Bruce as Bruce has his head down. Thomas is still squeezing Bruce's shoulders as Martha tells him, “Thomas, he's frightened.” Thomas replies, “He damn well ought to be. He could have been killed.” Martha replaces Thomas's spot in front of Bruce, kneeling to gently place a hand on his upper arm and using a handkerchief to wipe his forehead. Bruce is standing with his fist still clenched and grimacing as Thomas angrily says, “He's got to learn.” Bruce is shown in a low angle, looking up at his mother with wide eyes. The narration continues, ‘He listened to his father's boots crushing the dead grass, and when he could no longer hear them, he dared to ask:’ “Mommy, was I in hell?” Martha soothes, “No, baby, that was just some old cave. You're safe now,” as she hugs him. His cheek is pressed against hers and she has her eyes closed as Bruce still looks uncertain. END ID]

#once again pushing my 'thomas wayne was a piece of shit' propaganda #tied in with the panel of him hitting bruce #and then the alt timeline where they live and martha expresses concern that her eight year old has an obsession with criminology now #and stopped being talkative or wanting to see some train (his special interest) and thomas says good and that it was worth the scare #and ! being autistic. for me when im emotional all sound is so much louder and more overwhelming #the fact that he waited until he couldnt hear his father walking away before asking his mother if he was in hell....#and being no older than 8 and still waiting. just tensed and taking the verbal lashing and them fighting before speaking up?? yeah.#also think it'll be interesting in the 'bruce is constantly seeing the best in people even shitty people that dont 'deserve' a second #chance or for someone to fully believe they can change. that you do bad things but aren't a bad person. that you can do good and not #be a good person. that its making a choice and that anyone can choose and decide to do better than they were yesterday'#sorta deal yknow?#just the conditioning of forgiveness for something theyre not sorry for and wanting to believe everyone is capable of being good #that traumatized 'mommy was i in hell' like god sorry brucie for the trauma but itll have a payoff in a decade or so trust me kid #also martha?? love her. hes the biggest mama's boy you cant change my mind.#bruce wayne #thomas wayne #martha wayne #baby brucie #crypt's panels #c: secret origins | the man who falls #bruce & martha #bruce's childhood

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mrfoox · 2 years

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I'll probably never know if I actually don't want kids or if I'm just too scared about passing on bad genes and have them suffer and that's sad

#miranda talking shit #Idk i cant ever seperate it bc if i ever think id like to be a parent at some point i immediately think #About how big the chances are of me passing on my deppression/anxiety. Like i have asd and add and i think they cause a lot of problems #I still thinl my major anxiety and depression issues is my biggest concern. And the fact my mother have family history of bpd and #Schizofrenia and the unknown factor of my dads dad family history like mmm...#Bc i kinda wish i wasnt born in this world bc of my mental problems making it so hard. I dont think id ever forgive myself if #I had an child which had the same view as me bc of mental illness. Idk how high the chances are to pass on stuff like this #But like since i have so much to 'choose' from i feel like its at least 20%. And thats just with my gene pool #If the other parent also have mental health problems that would go up...#Yeah in my mid 20s and many of the girls in my age group is or have gotten kids and im like yea #Part of me would like to be a mom. Like id love the shit out of the kid and try to be the best parent i can #But i can never escape the real possibility of bringing a child into the world with same or similar mental issues i have #Im a guilt driven person and like that idea by itself makes me want to jump off a cliff lmao #So im uh... Maybe i want kids but i probably wont go through with it bc im terrified of the possilites #Idk how commkn it is to think aboht this. Any guy friend i have either really want kids or are like 'well yeah getting a wife and some kids #Is the plan i guess' and girl friends its either i dont want kids i hate them or the same 'yeah an husband and some kids is the plan'#If i ever did have a kid ill have to be with the most caring and calm guy lol. Otherwise id be too scared and deppressed about the #The idea of the worst happening. Its 3 am no idk why this is tonights subject but it is apparently

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caruliaa · 1 year

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yk i think like. im trying desperately not to depress people around me w how close to doomerism i can veer but like. at a certain point its like. the effort and exhaustion that goes into maintaining just being alive in this world is not worth what comes from being alive and like. girlies we may have reached it. el oh el.

#like obvs its different for everyone like. what i really mean is that i have reached it or like. tht was always inevitably the case #for my life. which ik feels really depressing to say nd im sorry tht it makes ppl sad but idk like. its just true at a certain point #absolutely not from a lack of trying from the good things within my life to be clear not at all like. ik have sm great parts to my life #tht like. just mean so so much to me and im so so lucky to have but as upsetting as it is to say and think abt #at a certain point having to choose between being trapped in a situation were you can never authentically exist or like #have any control over your life and exist on your own terms even in v small ways while having to constantly be around people whove #caused you so much pain and trauma and hurt and being is a situation were like. at best your constantly working to afford living and you #are constantly exhausted by this and have no time for being yourself anyway and at worst you just cant afford anything and you die #and that could happen to you at any point idk like. these are my two options and i cant change anything about that fact #no matter how much i want to and that feeling is just. so so crushing and inescapable and just idk i dont know how to deal with it #like. idk iv done everything to try to but its only ever a temporary distraction #bc the problem isnt fucking like. mental or emotional its the facts of my reality and that cant be changed #so ofc im going to be constantly fucking miserable things just. are misearble #and idk. im sorry tht thts something other ppl have to deal with when it comes to like. knowing me bc genuinly its like.#they dont deserve that its sm pain for somoene to deal with and if that someone isnt. somone whos come to term with what #my fate invetiably is like have ik its too much nd im sorry for like. putting that on ppl i just. idk im sorry #idk what up with me suddnely. i mean i do but like. idk why i cant just hold it together like. this has always been the case idk why #im letting it upset me sm suddenly . ig bc i let myself have hope at some point. like an idiot.#idk im sorry. and its nearly 1am so i think im just going to go to sleep.im so sorry for just. all of this.#lucy if your reading tihs im so sorry for not sending and answering asks but i want to say that i love you so so so much. and im sorry #flappy rambles #vent #ask to tag

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ajdrawshq · 10 months

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recently picked back up a 3ds game that i forgot abt a while ago n while its not the most Interesting it is actually pretty fun once u get past the early stuff and figure out how everything works. also pleasantly surprised by the very bisexual cast

#like EVERYONE wants me in this game it is wild #u can even go on dates w ur teammates??? very brief but its a cute feature. i have yet to find out what maxed relationship dates look like #im not even sure how u boist ur relationship w teammates actually its just kinda been happening #the character customozation is interesting .. simultaneously few and many options #n the fact that u creat literally every character on ur team is cool :] all of mine are named after various foods or beverages #main character is named Juice. main teammates are Soup n Milk. and the backup members are Smoothie n Oil n Mint #i adore Julietta tho hes so gender. good for him <3 #i think the very obviously doomed by the narrative rival guy is funny. his ass is not living thru this story i just Know he isnt #oh also another cool thing is that the protag is only referred to with they/them no matter what character u choose to be :D #its not the best 3ds game out there but its got some charming stuff in there n im having fun. also it predicted dragons taking over in 2020

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notjustjavierpena · 3 months

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Swelter

A/N: This happened because the SAG Awards made me horny. I have no other explanation for my behavior, no other defence. Maybe that I was listening to ur dad by VIAL. Obviously also a huge thanks to @strang3lov3 for being the cutest love bug I know, and for putting up with my brainstorming sessions.

Summary: You have a crush on Sarah’s father. It is summer, it is hot, and you just want a cold drink.

Pairing: Joel Miller x reader (no y/n)

Tags: +18 smut, best friend’s dad, significant age gap (reader is 19-22, Joel is in his mid-40s), SEXUAL TENSION, bee stings, groping, voyeur to some degree, f masturbation, dirty talk, an endless amount of pet names, sexy play with a soda can, praise kink, car sex, daddy kink, fingering, unprotected piv sex, joel’s cock is huge in this, creampie, premature ejaculation, pussy eating, come eating, squirting

Word count: 6.8k

Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54233479

Swelter

A warm Texas breeze blows through the open window of Sarah’s childhood room, making the see-through pink curtains move elegantly from side to side. It hits your back right underneath your halter neck as you lay on Sarah’s bed, caressing your bare skin and making you think of him. You wonder if his hands would have the same effect on you because you find yourself shivering but not from feeling cold. He is somewhere here, and his daughter doesn’t even know that her best friend obsesses about that fact.

Sarah hasn’t changed her room since she was a teenager. She told you this the first time she brought you here, which is almost a year ago today. You were here last summer too, thrilled to be invited to spend a few weeks of your summer with a friend from college and you and her have been inseparable ever since, even if you are so different from each other.

You have your face in a woman’s magazine, propped up on your elbows so you can suck on a popsicle stick whilst turning the pages. There’s a page with the recipe for ‘The Best Fudgy Chocolate Cake Ever!’ next to a page on how to lose weight, and it makes you snort.

“What?” Sarah turns on her chair, pausing the video on her computer.

“What kinda woman are you? You can choose one, but only one. Don’t get greedy now!” You make a scratchy voice but then pop your ice pop in your mouth to hold up the magazine for her to see.

“Seriously? We can’t win,” she groans dramatically, “Chocolate cake always. I just want to be happy, and that looks like a serotonin boost.”

Suddenly, the door opens without any warning. It’s him. Mr. Miller. You quickly remove the popsicle from your mouth, not about to show him how your lips are stretched around the sugary snack. The open door causes a draft to blow the smell of his cologne your way, and it is intoxicating beyond your imagination because you relish in it in secret.

“Dad,” Sarah says with exasperation, “I thought being an adult earned you the privilege of more privacy.”

“It’s gettin’ colder outside now,” he states and ignores her comment, hand resting on the doorknob, “The Adlers need Mercy to be walked, and the pavement’s coolin’ down.”

“I walked him when I was fourteen,” she furrows her brow and you suppress a snicker, “I’m twenty.”

“Just ‘cause you’re grown, don’t mean you can’t do right by ‘em,” he states matter-of-factly.

“Hi, Mr. Miller,” you say from your spot on the bed as Sarah fumes quietly, absentmindedly reaching to pull the short skirt of your dress down. He can probably see the start of your ass from how it has been riding up as you lay down on the sheets.

“Hiya darlin’,” he replies and you swear you can hear a restrained sound in his voice. He turns to Sarah again, “Get your butt off that chair.”

“Fine,” she follows through on her orders but still wants to argue, probably embarrassed at being ordered around by her father in front of her friend. She gestures to you, “And what about my guest?”

“She’s grown too, which means she can probably entertain herself the half hour you’ll be gone,” he dares wink at you, and blood courses through your veins.

“I’ll just get that assignment done while you’re out,” you reassure and try not to seem like your core is shaking.

“See?” Joel looks triumphant.

“You’d make a hell of a lawyer,” she deadpans at her father and walks past him.

When he closes the door and leaves you alone in the bedroom, you can feel your popsicle having melted, its syrupy water running down your fingers. You switch hands and suck the sticky fingers into your mouth. The action makes Mr. Miller’s image flash in your mind and you press your thighs together before getting up and finding your laptop.

You find that it’s near impossible to concentrate on proofreading your assignment in the tiny bedroom after just five minutes of being alone. It’s not that you can’t concentrate in the Summer heat but no matter what you do, your mind keeps circling back to Joel’s voice as he called you darling. It heats you more than the sun ever could, and with every tap on your keyboard, your mouth gets more and more dry.

Eventually, you push yourself to stand from your seat at the desk and make a decision to go fetch something to drink, and it is definitely not with the intention of accidentally bumping into Sarah’s father. Not even when you do not find Joel in the kitchen and decide to bypass it altogether to continue into the garage in hopes of being successful in your search for a drink (obviously).

This infatuation started last year. It took you about ten seconds - from walking into the kitchen and shaking Joel’s hand - to realize that Sarah was cursed with having him as a father. Firstly, he was outrageously handsome; always wearing washed-out t-shirts that clung to his shoulders, always smiling with teeth, sporting salt-and-pepper curls, and sometimes even shocking you by entering the kitchen with working gloves on. However, when he opened his mouth and spoke, a southern drawl dripped from his lips and made your whole body tense up. He was charming, respectful, and laughed at the right moments. Most importantly, he laughed at every damn attempt that you made at being funny, and while it was probably an attempt to be nice and make you feel at home, it spurred you on terribly to win him over at every opportunity.

Despite all that, those opportunities weren’t many. He was also cool enough to know that his daughter didn’t want him hanging around all the time, and so he spent many days either in the garden to mow the lawn in competition with the rest of the fathers down the street, in the garage to fix up some old truck, or with his brother, Tommy, and Tommy’s wife who always had some DIY-project going on.

Thus, the summer became one of tanning sessions in the garden, movies in Sarah’s room, stolen glances at Joel Miller whenever he came inside to quench his thirst after hard labor, and secret longing whenever he had kept away for too long.

One particular day last year, Sarah had failed to mention that her father would be home most of the last days you were in their house, and because he was always out, you were getting more and more comfortable with walking around in your towels post-showers or leaving the door unlocked when changing.

The particular event had happened in the morning when the house had been silent except for the kitchen where Sarah was preparing breakfast, using a large box of pancake mix and the whole fruit section of the local grocery store for topping. You had just showered, standing with your head in your suitcase to search for the last few pieces of clothing you had that were clean when there was a rap on the door and a pull of the handle not even a second later.

“Sarah, I need—“

You whipped around at the sound of a new voice entering the room. Your heart nearly burst out of your chest, feeling as though it was fighting its way out between your ribs as embarrassment began to flood your system. Even so, you stood too frozen to reach for something to cover yourself up.

Joel was in the doorway and dead silent, looking as if struck by lightning. Like earlier today, his hand had been resting on the doorknob and in the painfully short moment that the both of you were processing the situation, you saw that his grip tightened enough to whiten his knuckles.

And then it happened, the thing that had soaked you in forbidden desire and delicious excitement; his gaze had flickered down your body and taken you in for the briefest of seconds. His gaze had traveled from the hard peaks of your nipples to the shape of your hips and the softness of your young cunt.

“Fuck,” you heard him utter as he remembered himself and his self-awareness made you finally grab the top you were going to be wearing that day to cover up your quivering body. He slammed the door shut and spoke through it, “Christ, ’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

“It’s okay, Mr. Miller,” you promised but he was already gone. You immediately locked the door afterward to come so hard with two fingers on your clit that you had to hold onto the chair by the desk.

God, you want him to look at you like that again, want to tell him it is all for him. Now, as wrong as you know it is, you find yourself searching for an excuse to get him to ogle you and the chances are higher if he actually spends time with you.

“Hi, Mr. Miller,” you announce yourself as you enter the garage through the door in the kitchen. Joel has his head inside the hood of his truck, leaning over to inspect something that you wouldn’t understand anything about anyway. He grips the front side of the engine room to push himself to stand, closes the top of the hood of his truck, and turns around to face you.

“Hey kiddo,” he returns with a smile, “How many times do I gotta say to ya that it’s just Joel?”

“Alright, Mr. Miller,” you tease, “—I mean, Just Joel.”

You hear him laugh softly but you don’t dare look at him, afraid that you’ll spontaneously combust. He goes to the utility sink to wash his hands, saying nothing more and making you feel insane for coming apart in the silence.

“I’m just getting something to drink,” you explain when it becomes too much, “Sarah’s room is boiling hot.”

“That’s fine, take what you’d like,” he replies, and there’s a kind teasing in his voice. “But don’t touch the orange sodas. Those are mine.”

The concrete floor of the garage is cold on your bare feet as you pad across the floor where an old bottom-freezer refrigerator stands in the corner, humming in the otherwise quiet room. It has seen better days, and it seems like Sarah has tried to cheer up its weathered appearance by covering it in stickers and ugly magnets.

“Now I have to get one of those,” you giggle and pull the door open, scanning the contents and noticing that the sodas are on the bottom shelf. You hesitate for just a second, and then you choose to bend over instead of crouching down. Behind you, Joel Miller is completely silent.

In the beginning, it hadn’t been your intention to let the crush fester in your brain and turn it into something more but last week, during dinner out on the terrace, you had accidentally sat down on a bee and gotten stung on the back of your thigh. The cry you had let out had nearly made Joel tip over the table to get to you, his chair falling backward as he got up from his seat.

“Fuck! Ow ow ow!” You cried and hobbled around on the grass. The pain was unbearable but the shock only seemed to make it worse.

“Sarah, please get some ice and some antihistamines. There should be a bottle on my nightstand,” Joel ordered quickly and she rushed inside. He walked toward you, grabbing at your shoulders to ground you but his touch only heightened all other sensations. He dug his thumbs into you and your head swam, “Sweetheart, ‘tis just a bee, shh, calm down. I need to remove the stinger. Lemme see ya.”

“It really fucking hurts, Mr. Miller,” you said with a whine as he guided you to one of the loungers that Sarah and you had dragged out from the shed earlier that week.

“I know,” he finally let go of you so you could think just a bit more clearly, “Lemme take a look. Lie down on your front.”

You followed orders with the realization of how much you trusted his judgment, that he would treat you right, moving carefully because the flex of your thigh muscle was making the pain worse. The wooden lounger burned slightly against the front of your thighs, and you pressed your cheek into its slats while screwing your eyes shut.

The wood creaked behind you as he knelt on it with one knee and suddenly, his broad hand was perched on the top of your thigh in an attempt to keep your skin taut. You sucked in a breath but he only mistook it for more pain.

“It’s alright, sweetheart. I can see it,” his breath was slightly quicker but you didn’t want to jump to conclusions, “He really got ya right on your inner thigh. Hold on.”

Your eyes shot open when his thumb ran towards the innermost part of the back of your thigh, a sort of panicked arousal spiking from your chest and thighs. He paused for a second then murmured something, a swear word that you tried to take as frustration. There was a beat but then he cleared his throat, “Can you bend your leg a little? I wanna make sure that I get it on the first try.”

“How?” You asked stupidly. The image of how he would be looming over your backside made your heartbeat go down between your legs, “My dress’ll ride up.”

“Just bend the knee a little, pull it towards your chest,” he explained and cleared his throat once more, “On my life, I won’t look.”

So you did as he told you, and sure enough, your dress betrayed you by crawling slowly up to sit around your hip instead of the middle part of your thigh. You looked back at him when he started picking at the stinger with his nails, and you hoped that he would not notice your gawking at his concentrated expression.

A flash of the day he had barged in on you naked flashed in your mind because his eyes were so focused on not staring at you that you nearly whimpered when you saw his eyes flicker to the spot of dampness between your legs for no more than a second.

You had worn white cotton panties that day so they would not be seen through your dress. They were straining against your pussy in this position and all he had to do was reach out, and he’d find your clit poking against the fabric from how excited you were feeling.

He had had the perfect outline of your cunt, and it’s the same now as you bend over to get to the very bottom of the fridge, reaching for a cold drink that just happens to be his favorite. You know that he can see everything, and the worst is that you know he already has. Twice. The mere thought is so dirty that your heart starts pounding in your chest and sends heat through your already hot body, so you hurry to stretch to your full height again.

With a cocky grin that is mostly put on to hide your anxious excitement about what you have just done, you turn to face Joel and walk to stand in front of him and his car. His cologne fills your nostrils again, and the scent seems once again to have a direct line to your cunt because you have never felt more empty. In front of you, Joel’s jaw is clenched but other than that, he seems a lot more calm and composed than you.

That is until you jump onto the hood of the car and scoot back, letting your bare feet dangle out over the edge. You crack open the soda in your hand and take a sip that is a little longer than intended. The satisfying burn of the fizz grounds you in the warm climate, but it is even more heavenly as you tuck the skirt of your dress between your thighs so you can place the cold can there.

Joel shakes his head with a sigh but you know he is playing a game as much as you because he cannot help but crack a smile back at you, “You’re trouble, I knew it the second Sarah brought ya into my house.”

“Oh, whatever will I do?” You ask dramatically and lean back against the windshield.

“Go morally bankrupt?” He raises a brow. If only he knew what is going through your mind. You catch him looking at you in the fashion that you have craved when you sigh deeply and cause your chest to push out.

“Only that?” You take another sip and some of the contents spill down your chin in a thick, sticky trail due to the angle you’re sitting in. You reach up to wipe it away with your index finger and then dare to suck your finger clean with the intention of mimicking the way that you had licked it clean earlier when it had been coated in melted popsicle.

“Give it here,” he says. You lock eyes with him. However, your eyes widen slightly when he nods at the can and takes it from between your thighs. There’s electricity shooting through your nerves the second his fingers touch the fabric of your dress but they intensify to a dizzying degree when he takes a sip of the soda too.

Like a reflex, the sight of him drinking from the can that’s been nestled between your thighs makes your legs fall out to the sides. You’re worse than an obedient dog in your horniness, reacting the same way to the way he moves as it would to the sound of a bell ringing.

Your dress rides up slowly along your thighs, revealing your sweaty skin that feels sticky by now and Joel clears his throat after briefly looking down. He shifts his weight from one foot to the other, and when you realize the effect it has on the poor man, you grab the hem and pull upwards, “It’s so hot outside today. Don’t think I’ll ever get used to the heat here in Texas.”

“C’mon, sweetheart,” he says and his face has got a pinker tint, pulse visible on the side of his neck. With his free hand, he grabs one of your knees and starts nudging your legs together again. He yanks your skirt down, “I know I’m always teasin’ ya but you can’t be doing this.”

“Jesus Christ, Joel,” you say with exasperation and move your legs out again, “It’s just very hot… and it’s not like you haven’t had a peek.”

“Hey now,” he leans forward to place the can of soda on the roof of the truck, “That ain’t a fair accusation.”

“I’m not accusing you of anything,” you reply, chewing on your bottom lip, “But you’re not denying it.”

“Don’t tryna make me look like the pervert here,” he scolds, taking a step towards you and causing your stomach to do somersaults, “I noticed the way you went real quiet when my hands were on you.”

“What do you mean?” You furrow your brows in confusion, “Your hands were never on m–”

“Did that bee sting really hurt that much?” He clarifies. Oh, you think whilst he smirks with triumph. Something has switched in the air surrounding you, the atmosphere has become more daring, “Yeah, I saw her; your pussy wet f’me.”

It’s true. If you think about it too much, you can still feel your heartbeat in the places where he touched you, and the pulse is rapid and overwhelming. You can’t imagine what it'll be like if he touches you underneath your dress, even if it’s simply on the outside of your panties. The thought has your underwear starting to dampen, the fabric starting to stick to you, and make you painfully aware of the wetness between your legs.

“Did ya touch yourself after?” His eyes have darkened slightly. His pupils are dilating with desire for your answer, and you nod hesitantly, overwhelmed by the need to tell him everything.

“During my shower that you told me to take,” you confess and hear him make a sound low in his throat at the mental image, “I couldn’t stop myself— I wanted you so badly. The thought of you inside me...”

This is a crossroad, you realize, you’ve said your deepest secret of depravity. On one hand, you can bolt out the door or you can make a move to show him what you really came down here for. The latter is risky but Joel is so goddamn decent that you know that if he doesn’t want this - which you doubt is the case at this point - he’ll gently reject you and never mention it again if it means that his daughter will continue having a best friend.

However, as your mind races with scenarios of what could or could not happen in this moment, Joel pulls you back into reality as his hand, cold from gripping the can, rests on your knee again but this time, it doesn’t try to make you decent like before. Instead, it slides up under your skirt in such a slow motion that you find yourself holding your breath.

“Is this what’ll quiet down that mind of yours?” He asks in a low voice, eyes flickering from your face to down between your legs and back again, “If I take a peek more to get it outta our system?”

“What are you doing?” You ask as if you do not know. It’s your turn to be scandalized by bluntness, and you find yourself gripping his arm but not hard enough to signal that you do not want him to continue. You hope that he realizes that this is not you rejecting his advances.

“I ain’t doing nothin’ that you haven’t already silently begged me to do. Perhaps sometimes - and God help me, I will probably regret it - you just needa follow your instincts when a pretty girl like you has been sendin’ me heart eyes all week,” he almost sounds annoyed with you, and to stop yourself from being scolded, your hand loosens its grip on him until you remove it altogether. He smiles, “Good girl.”

“You shouldn’t—“ you feel a rush of blood to your head, adrenaline kicking in as your thoughts circle around the repercussions that this can bring. In all honesty, you had only walked in here to have Joel’s eyes on you but now, you are getting more than you bargained for and it is making you so turned on that your mind is clear and foggy at the same time. Boldly, you sit up on the car’s hood so you can reach for the buckle of Joel’s belt, “We shouldn’t be doing this.”

“You’re damn right we shouldn’t be doin’ this,” he agrees immediately but doesn’t stop. His warm and rough palms skim further up your thighs until they settle by your hips, his thumbs teasing the elastic band of your panties. He starts to drag them down, the fabric nearly snapping in two when you barely register that you have to lift your ass to help him.

His fingers unintentionally caress your calves as he slides the underwear down to eventually pull them off your ankles and feet. The sensation makes your body wake up even more, a gush of wetness smearing your inner thighs and you know that you have to pull your dress up soon if you don’t want it stained.

In front of you, Joel reads your mind. He shoves the hem of your dress up as far as he can without a word with desperation in his trembling hands, and you move to let him bunch it up around your waist so he has a full view of what waits - and for long has waited - for him.

When your cunt is revealed to him, he groans like he is in pain at the sight of the slick shining on your soft youthful skin. You can see how hard he is in his jeans, cock straining against the zipper at the front of them.

He looks like he wants to touch but hesitates. The first sign of his inner conflict. You remember that he did say just a peek as if there’s an unspoken agreement that he is not to cross the line of touching what he shouldn’t want to have. It would definitely be a nuclear decision if he chooses to do it anyway. It makes you want it even more, and another gush spills from your glistening slit when you clench from excitement.

Joel swears under his breath, something that sounds like fuck it and it sets it in stone; he is going to ruin you for eternity right here on his car. He steps closer until your spread knees bump into his sides, and without saying anything you move to yank his jeans and briefs down, settling them around his hips with a soft gasp as you take in the sight of his fully hard cock. He is huge. So huge that your mouth starts salivating like you’ve already been fucked stupid and your walls try to clamp down on nothing. It’ll hurt. You want it to if it means that you won’t doubt if it ever happened tomorrow.

“Tell me you want this too,” he seeks your reassurance.

“So fucking badly, Mr. Miller— Joel,” you say without any hint of second-guessing in your voice. You scoot further forward on the car and lean back so he has better access, trying your best to be elegant in your messy state, “Please, want you in me.”

“Jeez, honey,” his breath shakes, “Already so eager. I haven’t even felt if she’s ready f’me.”

With one hand gripping your left thigh, he uses two fingers on his right hand to slide through your wet folds and you don’t think you have ever been this turned on for anyone; when he flips his palm upwards and shoves two fingers inside of you, you feel more arousal drip from your cunt and pool in his hand. The longing you have felt since you saw him for the first time finds somewhere to empty all its desire and desperation into, and you whine like you’re in a state of agony.

“Shhh…” he soothes and curls his digits inside of you until you think you might start crying, squelching cunt trying to pull him further into you as he fingers you lazily. Your gaze drops to how his cock twitches whilst standing in the air, “You’re grippin’ me so good, doll, can’t wait to fuck this pussy. Don’t cry like that. Be patient.”

“Please, I’m so—“ your palms are flat on the hood of the car, your mouth hangs open in ecstasy and you stare down at where his ring- and middle finger disappears repeatedly into you, “It’s yours, please.”

“I know it’s mine, don’t gotta say it, I know,” he coos at each of your whimpers, gets you worked up until you are just on the brink of coming, and then he moves quickly. He pulls his fingers out of you, smears his cock with what you’ve soaked his whole palm with, and leans over your gasping frame to nudge at your quivering hole.

When he finally enters you, the both of you gasp in unison. He struggles with it for a moment, rubbing the skin just below your belly button to make you relax because he is so much bigger than you had first anticipated, and such a tight fit that you think he might split you in two.

“Goddamn, you are tight,” he says through gritted teeth, “Feels fuckin’ amazin’.”

“Ah,” you feel like letting yourself turn into a drooling mess already, pulsating around him from the way your body struggles to take him, “Joel, I can’t.”

“Yes, you can, honey,” he encourages, showing no signs of pulling out of you to free you from the burn of his girth. He growls low in his throat as you struggle with it, and you know it’s because your walls are clenching around him as you involuntarily move, “Stay still, let her get used to it.”

“It hurts,” you whine, sliding slightly on the metal underneath your ass. He presses his hips forward even further and causes you to whimper but in doing so, he holds you firmly in place by using his strong frame.

“I know but ya just gotta relax,” he goes on. He places one hand flat on the hood of the car and then places the other right on your hip, thumb going inwards to find your clit. It pulses under his finger, trying to find out whether to find the pain delicious or not.

When his thumb starts going in circles on you, your thigh muscles start to twitch and flex from burning desire instead of uncomfortable pain. He presses down a little to stroke your sensitive nub with even more determination and smiles at his success when a moan slips from your mouth, “That’s it, honey. Just enjoy this until you’re creamin’ on me, and then I can fuck her real good.”

Your walls start to flutter a few seconds after the first new round of pleasurable sounds leave you, and the more his finger moves on you, the easier it gets to take him because the pain turns into nothing more than a dull ache in the background of ecstasy. He has you breathing faster and faster, and in return, he starts moving his thumb up and down to make his touches more direct.

God, your clit is hardening underneath his torment. He stares at what he is doing, an occasional grunt leaving him from how you involuntarily squeeze his length, and you know that he can sense it, suddenly smirking to himself as you near your climax. He admires the sight of you, eyes glued to the way the hood of your clit has drawn back, “Babydoll, look at that. Such a pretty pussy, clit peekin’ out and all. Does she wanna come on my cock?”

“Please, yes, oh please,” you nod repeatedly, mouth hanging open in an o-shape and breaths coming out in small puffs. Your climax is within reach, and Joel looks concentrated as he more than willingly hands it over to you whilst buried deep inside of you. The concentration on his face is probably from keeping himself from spilling inside of you too soon, but God, he looks gorgeous as he determinedly strokes your cunt.

“Yes, yes, yesyesyes— oh God, I’m… fuck, I’m coming!” You shake with pleasure as he causes your pussy to spasm, your hands barely able to find out what to do and making you grab at both the metal underneath you with one hand and his wrist with the other. Your eyes are squeezed shut but you do not doubt that he is staring at you in awe as you come so hard that reality fades.

“Good girl,” he rasps, voice unsteady and hand hitting the hood of the car as the feeling becomes overwhelming, “Oh sweetheart, you’re choking my dick so g—“

He swears quietly and then loudly, and suddenly, his cool demeanor crumbles because he is spilling his load inside of you with a pathetic and strained grunt. His hips stutter slightly and warmth spreads slowly inside of you, mixing with your own arousal.

You look down to where the two of you are connected, feeling fucked out despite not even having had the chance to feel him move inside of you. His come has started to spill from you already, dripping obscenely from your cunt.

“Fuck,” you hear Joel say above you. He slips out of you and leaves you gaping and mewling for a second, starting to take a step back. You catch him with your legs before he is too far away, and he reluctantly steps close to you again. He looks embarrassed but gives you a smile to hide it, “Felt too good, honey. This pussy’s makin’ me all sweet on you.”

“I’m that irresistible?” You grin in your post-orgasmic haze, not really giving a crap about the lack of a proper fuck from how much dopamine is coursing through your veins.

Joel takes hold of your thighs as they are wrapped around your body and lifts them off of himself, “You’re makin’ an old bastard like me weak in the knees, so maybe. Hah! Comin’ too soon like a goddamn teenager.”

“I liked it,” you admit without hesitation, still basking in the sweet afterglow, “Made me feel sexy and powerful.”

He scoffs but can’t fight the smile on his face, “Now now, don’t get cocky on me. Crawl back a little, spread ya legs f’me.”

You giggle and do as you are told, presenting yourself to him on the hood of his car. You plant your bare feet on the metal, lay back against the windshield, and smile.

“Now look at that,” he tuts as he admires his work; white ropes of come dripping down from your slit and onto the surface beneath you. He lays both hands flat on the car and leans forward, and before you know it, his mouth is covering your whole cunt and he eats from you like he’s paid to do it.

“Jesus,” you groan, throwing your head back and grabbing onto the roof of the car with one hand whilst the other finds Joel’s hair. You tug and he moans against you, sending vibrations through your whole lower body and beginning the first stirrings of another high. You don’t think that you can take it, squirming just like you had done moments earlier.

Joel makes a sound of disapproval. He scoops his arms under your thighs until he can lay his hands on top of them, holding you tightly against his mouth and causing you to cry towards the ceiling when he makes your second orgasm approach so quickly that nothing in your brain makes sense except what he is doing between your legs.

The hand on the roof of his car goes to his head too. You slide your fingers on both hands through his hair until they lay at the back of his neck, and then you yank once more at the curls there. His tongue works at your clit, swiping back and forth over it until you think that you might see God.

However, it doesn’t stay there. Instead, it is replaced by his nose so that he can eat his own spill straight from you by dipping his tongue hungrily inside of you.

“Joel— holy fuck, you’re incredible,” you close your eyes to concentrate on your pleasure. Who knew that the man could fuck with his tongue? He is warm and wet inside of you, slurping pornographically until you are clean of any remains of his come.

You are just about to finish a second time when he halts whatever he is doing. He pulls back only a few inches so you can still feel his uneven breaths against your cunt.

“No! Please,” your eyes fly open, you cry desperately, and throw your head forward dramatically. You want to thrash but he still has your legs locked in his arms, so you decide to pull out the big guns and hope for the best, “Please, Daddy! Pleasepleaseplea—“

“What the fuck did you just say t’me?” He looks up at you but you are too busy screwing your eyes shut in agony whilst whining for more. He growls and releases one of your legs, “I was already gonna make you a happy young lady but now, I’m gonna make you come so hard your little brain goes dumb. See how it feels. Impatient girl.”

His hand goes between your legs. He turns his palm upwards and then shoves two thick fingers inside of your pussy like earlier, curling them slightly and then pumping them so quickly that blood starts speeding through your system a second after and your heart rate goes so fast that you know that you are just about to come.

“Joel, oh my— fuck!” You whimper.

“Wrong word,” he replies.

You correct yourself immediately because there’s no way he is stopping again to chastise you once more, “Daddy, oh I— mhmm, I’m gonna come for you. Don’t stop, please, please Daddy, pleasepleaseplea—!”

He responds just how you had liked: He closes his mouth around your swollen clit and sucks hard, finally severing all connection to your brain and you come so hard that you actually squeal. Joel groans against you, feeling you squeeze the digits he has buried deep inside you. He draws back his fingers, pressing upwards the whole way.

Clear liquid squirts from you the second he pulls them out. The gushes that follow are so intense that the leg he isn’t holding anymore shakes so violently that the metal rattles under you, the car staining with your come. He repeats the move again and again, over and over, and watches the steady trickle down the hood and onto the concrete floor that turns a dark gray.

Euphoria courses through your being as you come in a way that you have never felt before. Your limbs tingle as warmth spreads out from beneath your belly button, your cunt pulses with eager pleasure, and you sob through the waves that crash over you without giving you time to recover from the last. The whole room feels brighter and its colors more vibrant.

“Shh, baby, let it happen, feels so good, don’t it? That’s it,” Joel coos at you the whole way through, guides you through it when you barely know how to use your words. He has straightened to his full height again but you don’t know when, and he has slowed his fingers down to tease out a few aftershocks. You whimper feebly at each one, and when Joel seems satisfied with what he has drawn out of you, he covers your whole mound with his palm to soothe the feeling of overstimulation that settles.

“Soundproof,” he mutters, once again reading your mind when you come to your senses again and start thinking about your noise levels with furrowed brows and eyes flitting from him to the garage door. Your heartbeat has started to slow again, and the relief of knowing no one has been able to hear you makes you slump against the windshield and breathe deeply.

The remnants of your orgasm have made you smile, your body slipping into a deep state of satisfaction when the anxieties have been dispelled. Joel moves his hand up your lower body until it settles between your breasts, still covered by your dress. He caresses your heaving chest, looking at you boyishly for the first time, “You good? Didn’t cause any brain damage, did I?”

“You think this truck has ever seen action like that before?” You joke breathlessly.

“Probably ain’t the first time I disappointed a gorgeous lady in its presence,” he says with an apologetic smile, “Sorry ‘bout that.”

“Disappointed? You’re insane,” you stretch your arms above your head to get some of the last bits of euphoria out of your body, trying to ignore the way he has just called you a gorgeous lady. He probably means nothing by it. As your stretch peaks, you moan gently, “I came two times. Hard. I’m not complaining.”

“Just saying that I woulda liked to do it… properly, I guess,” he talks as he stuffs himself back into his underwear and pants, most likely trying to feel the least uncomfortable about mentioning his overexcitement. Automatically, he steps back when you jump off the car to adjust your dress.

“This doesn’t have to be a one-time thing,” you try to act casual as you say it but there’s no way you are accepting the best sex of your life to be a thing you will never have again, reducing it to a movie merely playing behind your eyelids as a cruel reminder of what is unattainable.

“And when would we have time for that?” He asks, zipping up his jeans. He wipes his hands on them, “We can’t, honey.”

“We just did,” you mumble, picking up your underwear from the floor. You turn the panties in your hands, just about to bend down to put them on before deciding against it. Boldly, you stand in front of him and stuff your sticky underwear into his front pocket; closest to his crotch. There are extra pairs in your bag in Sarah’s room. He can have these.

He looks down briefly and then finds your eyes. His jaw clenches as he weighs his words, “When?”

“Aren’t you driving me to the airport on Sunday?” You smile and kiss his cheek, and then you leave him, your soda in hand and a mess on the floor.

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