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simplytheevebest · 2 years

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Thoughts on the Fate: The Winx Saga Prequel Lighting the Fire

I read this entire book in a day. I didn’t plan on doing that, but here we are. I also jotted down ten pages worth of thoughts as I read, but did my best to condense them into something coherent and not ten pages. I am absolutely going to spend a large amount of time focusing on Farah and Saul, but I will also talk about the other characters and my overall thoughts. This is a long one folks, sorry not sorry. All opinions are completely my own, obviously, and I respect that others may feel differently and invite them to say so because I’d love to talk about it!

First, a short summary: It’s a year before the events of Fate and Farah has decided to host an orientation day for prospective students. In the meantime, she heads to the First World after discovering a letter from Rosalind about something “precious” left there. While she’s gone, Stella tries to set up her best friend Rikki with Riven and ropes them into helping she and Sky decorate for the orientation day. Riven suggests Farah and Callum are dating; Riven and Terra are friends and then not; and Stella tricks Aisha into accidentally drenching Farah while trying to “expose” her affair with Callum. Callum doses the kids with truth potion and everyone says embarrassing things. Farah meets Bloom but doesn’t realize her significance, and Saul and Sky struggle to admit that they care about one another.

Before I dive into my favorite bits, I’m going to briefly touch on the parts I felt were lacking:

The addition of Musa, Aisha, Beatrix, and any other s1 character cameos: I’m not mad about it, but it doesn’t feel like their bits added very much beyond what we already knew about them. Aisha is a perfectionist, she loves to swim, and she struggles with her magic because of her perfectionism. Musa’s mother has passed and she was there when it happened, felt her die, which is tragic and heartbreaking but again, we already knew this. They’re all are implied to have met, yet never acknowledge this after the fact. I know the book came out after, obviously, but I am a sucker for continuity especially when it’s not difficult. Shoehorning in the characters is one thing, but having them interact in such a memorable way -Stella literally convinced Aisha to inadvertently drench Farah with fountain water and Aisha and Musa had a meaningful conversation- and have that not able to be addressed in canon is a personal pet peeve.

The conspiracy about Farah and Callum: Irrelevant. It’s meant to be amusing, and I can see it playing out very well as a side-plot in a teen comedy reminiscent of the classic Disney Channel or Nickelodeon shows, but it’s out of place here. It’s meant to inject some humor, but I think it falls flat and complicates too much: Stella knows Callum is shifty, but not once does this come up from her after his disappearance in s1. It's an excuse to pit Stella and Riven against each other in an amusing frenemies way.

The misunderstandings: Listen, who doesn’t love a good misunderstanding adding unnecessary angst? That’s the good shit -when it’s done right. The misunderstandings in this book, for me, were gratuitous and senseless. Nearly every character had a different opinion about the other characters intentions. It’s the “if they just talked to each other this would get cleared up so much faster” x1000000. And then it does get cleared up, with truth potion. The truth potion, I’m sorry, was such a stupid addition and felt like it was literally an excuse to get the characters to talk about their feelings without worrying about keeping them “in character” because they were dosed with truth potion and couldn’t help what they were saying. I, personally, thought it was a bit lazy, and the blatant OOCness of the characters’ dialogue at that point was almost unbearable.

The dialogue: Was at times a bit stilted and robotic, and didn’t flow smoothly nor did the character’s voices always fit: Saul saying “what’s up nerd” to Ben, or essentially quoting the “as a treat” meme; Riven referring to people as “my guy;” Stella’s lengthy insults that dulled their wit. I didn’t hate the dialogue, and this is no shade to the author, but as with fanfiction (which this is canon fanfiction basically) there are times when the characterization and dialogue just don’t match up to our personal understanding of the characters, and that’s where I was at. I did enjoy Riven’s wit, but even that lost its charm as the story wore on.

On to specifics: I’m going to start with Riven and Stella, because they are both characters we learned a lot about in this book and especially with Riven, I gained a new appreciation for his character.

Riven

I must admit, watching the show, I bought into Riven's act and really didn't like him as a character. I also didn't like the OG cartoon Riven because he was also so hot and cold to Musa. But these additions to his character really have me feeling for him, because it comes across to me like he didn't want to immediately reinvent himself, but rather find people who accepted him as-is. And he didn't find that. Important things we learn:

Right out of the gate, we're treated to his self-deprecating thoughts on getting a "PhD in being a total loser," before he loses a sparring match to Sky. It's clear that they are not friends, that Riven is insanely jealous of Sky, and he's also insanely insecure.

He doesn’t want to be a specialist: “nobody asked [him]” if that’s what he wanted, so I guess he didn’t really have a choice.

All he really wants is "a small gang of friends to hang out and judge others with." Which like, same.

Riven is also ignorant of Solarian royalty because he doesn't recognize Stella. It implies, to me, that Riven grew up somewhere remote enough (perhaps not in Solaria?) to not be aware of something so "basic." He does know who Andreas is, and also unwittingly insults him (and Stella) to Sky, and thus assumes Sky hates him.

Riven and Terra were friends (which we knew) because she found him crying in the greenhouse one day and assumed he was being bullied by Sky and he had an affinity for potionology and cool plants.

Overall, Riven’s character gets a decent fleshing out, although his “villain origin story” falls a bit flat in my opinion because there isn’t much drive behind it. He goes from wanting real friends to wanting to be cool, then decides if he can’t be cool he’ll be mean, then ends up friends with Sky anyway even though he still doesn’t really like him? And Terra cuts him off because -and I’m very proud of her- relationships are a two-way street and Riven’s not pulling his weight.

To be completely honest I don’t understand why Riven and Sky are friends. They’re at odds for most of the story because Riven thinks Sky is stuck up and patronizing and Sky thinks Riven is a jerk with a good but sometimes insulting sense of humor. Only when the truth potion has them admit those things do they become friends, but then Riven overhears Sky say he “doesn’t take Riven seriously” and… are they friends now? They hug, but Riven’s drunk, so, like, I’m confused. Sky constantly tried to help Riven which is nice, but Riven didn’t ask for it, and Riven still feels insulted by Sky’s one-upmanship.

There’s honestly an overwhelming disservice done to Riven’s character by the others, primarily with regards to his thinking and sense of humor, which I get. His jokes are hurtful, his comments are disrespectful, but everyone seems to be passing it off as “that’s just Riven, and he’s an ass” without making literally any effort to help him realize it’s wrong, except Terra. And she’s a teenage girl on the opposite end of what Riven considers “cool” so there’s no way her words are going to hold any weight.

Stella

On my first watch-through of Fate I was not Stella's biggest fan. I hated how different she was from the OG cartoon, but as the story continued on and found its footing I came to appreciate her for the Stella of Fate without comparing her to the Stella of Winx. I think she has a lot of growing to do, and truthfully to me the character development in Stella is very weak, but I have hope they'll do her justice in s2. Important things we learn:

Stella is perfect, as she must be. She is greatly looking forward to her first year at Alfea because it means she's away from her mother and can finally be noticed. It hadn't occurred to me before this that on top of their contentious relationship being one of pressure and expectations, Stella is overshadowed by her mother's perfect image and doesn't ever get to be herself.

Stella uses her ring to attend Fashion Week in the First World, and I love it.

Stella is afraid of the dark because Luna used illusions to scare her, maybe used her magic to steal Stella's sight and make her believe she was in total darkness alone. The darkness also gives her nightmares, and she wishes she had a roommate (since she has the single room) and so she has to choose between Rikki and another suitemate Ilaria because "if your best friend didn't want to share with you, then you didn't have a best friend" and that makes me so sad for her.

Stella is with Sky for 2 reasons: image, and because he saw the real her "even when her mother's radiance made Stella all but invisible" which she appreciates, but is starting to realize isn't a reason to date someone because she'd rather hang out with her friends. It breaks my heart knowing that the Stella of first year felt she had true friends, and that she'll later lose them because of what happens with Rikki.

Stella treats Sky as a trophy a lot of the time, like a puppet to control or a toy to play with and this is very clearly her mother’s influence. It’s also very clear in Stella’s voice, because she insinuates Sky is weak for caring about this who aren’t on his “level” like Riven, or the five kittens he bottle-fed at the palace (adorable). Overall the things Stella says and her immediate thoughts after don’t mesh, which tells me they’re not meant to: her words are mean, her thoughts are not, and having learned from Luna, I have no doubt this was behavior she picked up, because Luna has always been cutting and never constructive in her criticism.

Stella genuinely looks up to and respects Farah, unlike her mother. She acknowledges that she’s Alfea’s center and that she feels she could go to Farah if she were ever “in danger.” When Stella goes to Farah for discipline for the part she played in drenching her with fountain water, she admits that she thinks Farah is more beautiful than her mother, Farah calls her a “privilege” when Stella feels like a burden and a disappointment, and Stella decides that when she’s queen, she wants to be exactly like Farah: calm, collected, and never making anyone feel inferior or scared for messing up.

Stella doesn’t go through any major character development again, but then she isn’t meant to, at this point. This is pre-Rikki’s blinding, so she doesn’t even become the person we see in s1, but we do see who she was before this -a bright, hopeful girl desperate to be seen for who she is not what she can do- and knowing what she becomes makes it all the more heartbreakingly tragic.

Now onto my two favorite parts: Sky and Saul, and Farah and Saul.

Sky and Saul (Saul's name is spelled Saúl, just as an aside)

I will say that by the time I’ve reached Saul’s pov, 30% into the book, I am already at odds with his description. It can’t be helped if that’s how other characters perceive him, but he’s far too cold for my liking. Saul in the show is stern, maybe not the best at expressing himself, but he’s not cold and he’s not mean, and he borders mean far too often in this book.

Sky's depiction of Saul's parenting makes my heart hurt, and is what I take the most issue with. Essentially, in this depiction, Sky is a duty and an obligation Saul has to put up with, and only does so because of his guilt for killing Andreas. Farah says Saul is proud of Sky but has trouble showing it, Sky doesn’t seem to think Saul cares for him at all unless he’s useful: "Every time Sky was the best, Sky proved he was worth caring for.” I disagree with this depiction for a lot of very obvious reasons. In the show, it’s very clear from RBJ’s performance as Saul that he is proud of Sky and he does care for him, and it’s very much because of his expressions and the delivery of his lines. And it can be hard to capture that in the written word, especially from the pov of a character like Sky who isn’t picking up on the nuances of Saul and his emotions the way an audience would if they were watching it play out. Like the scene where Saul calls Sky an idiot for going after the burned one, and says “your father would’ve been proud” and we can tell he’s proud, and relieved Sky is safe, and was worried for his safety, based on RBJ’s performance, but Sky doesn’t see it, and the crushed disappointment on Danny Griffin’s face tells us that Sky wanted Saul to be proud and is upset he didn’t say it. So on the one hand, I can’t fault this interpretation of Sky and Saul’s relationship from Sky’s pov if that’s how Sky sees it. But I can disagree with it because there are still parts that are just major Nope moments.

Saul getting angry that Sky asked if he could call him “dad?” Does Saul ever get actually angry in the show even?? No! He gets irritated, he gets upset, but he doesn’t get angry, and especially not angry enough to shake a child by the shoulders until he’s in tears and tell him with "cold fury" he can’t call him dad. That is so far from the Saul Silva I know that it didn’t even happen. It’s gone in my brain and straight back out because that is not the Saul-Sky father-son relationship I believe them to have and I don’t think it’s even just “not my canon,” it’s just completely OOC. Their relationship is layered and complicated because yes, I believe Sky sometimes thinks Saul only looks after him because of Andreas. And yes, I think Saul feels so guilty about Andreas that he doesn’t think it’s fair he gets to be “dad” because he took that chance from Andreas. These are definitely things that impact their relationship and the shape it takes, but this book is insinuating that Saul is cold and unfeeling to the point that Sky genuinely does not think Saul cares about him in the slightes because he’s just “so good at hiding it” -nah. Nope, not my Saul Silva.

I do agree with the characterization of Saul as Sky’s-not father not in his harshness, but in his feelings about it, because Saul doesn’t feel he deserves nice, good things after all he’s done: “Silva didn’t deserve to be his father.” It’s heartbreaking to consider that Saul never intended to keep Sky, but I actually do think it fits: Saul returns from Aster Dell to see Sky “one final time” and Sky took his first steps towards Saul, and Saul hadn’t been able to let him go. It’s adorable and sadly beautiful to consider Saul, fresh from killing his best friend and visiting the boy he just orphaned, fully prepared to let the boy go because he has no business being near him after what he did, and just. Not being able to. Looking into baby Sky’s face and remembering the promise he made to Andreas to “always look out for [Sky]” and not being able to leave him behind because it’s his fault Sky is an orphan. I don’t think Saul was at all prepared to take Sky in, I think he intended for that to be a last visit, and then returned to Alfea with a baby in his arms and never looked back. And we know he loves him: “Nobody could be as proud of Sky as Saul was.” Which is why it’s especially sad Saul doesn’t think he deserves that pride, that love, or to be called “dad.” He also calls Sky his “best boy” and my heart is melting.

By the end of the book they clear the air and have a sort-of heart to heart where Saul is firm that he’s never regretted taking Sky in, and Sky is equally firm in that he’s never regretted being taken in by Saul, which is sweet, but doesn’t make up for Saul being a drill sergeant and a jerk for most of the book.

Another major issue I have is the implication that Farah and Saul are distant from the Harvey family here. I understand if Farah and maybe even Saul felt distant from the happy family life because of their guilt and shame, but I don't for a second believe it wasn't there at their disposal. The implication here is that Ben raised Terra and Sam, Saul raised Sky, and Farah was headmistress, and they were all kept very separate from each other. Nope. Not for me. Sure, Farah probably planned to have dinners alone and spend her free hours alone, but if Ben didn't absolutely push for her to spend time with his kids, 100 percent they'd have taken it upon themselves to seek her out. It's stated that Terra finds Saul and Farah to be unapproachable and that Saul is "a completely terrifying person." Terra has a very brief interaction with Farah that feels unnatural and OOC because this book assumes they're not close, and I assume they are. Terra's nervous rambling is captured well, and when she does become a student I fully support her referring to Farah as "Miss Dowling" or "Headmistress Dowling" but only because Farah will be her teacher. Right now she should be calling her "Auntie Farah" and I won't accept anything less.

Apparently the reason the kids never played together was because once Saul and Ben let them and Terra used her magic to have vines smack Sky around while he fought back with a sword and Ben thought they were being “prepared for war” and not just having normal kid fun. If Saul was so determined to raise Sky to live up to Andreas' legacy but also not treat him how he and the others were treated under Rosalind, there's no way he'd have hidden Sky away training him to be a solider from the age of one. And the one time they do get to interact as kids, Ben puts a stop to it because he thinks it’s somehow training them for war? I don’t buy it. The Golden Trio of Fate and their children are a little Alfea family and I will die on this hill, Fate canon can bite me.

Farah

Before I actually focus solely on the Silrah parts of this story, I want to focus on Farah individually because we learn several interesting things:

Farah hired Callum specifically because he was human in a move that feels reminiscent of Dumbledore hiring Filch "to show people humans and fairies working together in harmony" and acknowledges that Callum has "somewhat of a chip on his shoulder" likely because he's human and I am assuming has been treated poorly at the hands of fairies for being "lesser."

Farah has spent the last sixteen years trying to atone for the sins she committed under Rosalind's commands but ultimately feels unsuccessful.

The First World is regarded as this strange place without magic and with electricity that many, Farah included, are unfamiliar with. It’s later said “magic hadn’t even crossed over” to the First World apart from changelings, which I disagree with because I view the worlds as being like wizards and muggles. Personally I think there’s kind of Men in Black side to the First World, where magic exists and is regulated and those who use it and live or travel there have to be registered and check in, and yeah most of the humans have no clue, but not because it just doesn’t exist there, but because they’re not meant to know.

Farah is and feels separate from her students. She has "mastered many fairy magics" but as a mind fairy she is wary of getting closer to others because they don't want to get close to her in case she reads their thoughts/feelings, and likewise she doesn't get close to them because of the overload to her senses. "Long ago, Farah had learned to keep her distance to protect herself and others:" to me, this implies that Farah has been distant from other people for a long time, as far back as her own student days, and I personally headcanon she was bullied or treated poorly by others during that time and thus learned to close herself off and this was later encouraged by Rosalind because if she had no connections, she had no weaknesses. I can even imagine Rosalind threatening Farah, or insinuating to Farah that if Farah grew close to others, she would hurt them, so Farah kept her distance. "Farah looked around Alfea with the affection she didn't know how to show her students:" so first of all, ow, this breaks my heart, and secondly, it reminds me of that line from Rosalind in s1, when she tells Bloom she needed love from her parental figure and Farah couldn't have given that to her. Excuse me Rosalind but whose fault is that??

Farah has nightmares of the things she's done under Rosalind's command and her greatest fear is turning into Rosalind and treating her students the way she was treated.

Farah feels like an outsider compared to Saul (who has Sky) and Ben (who has Terra and Sam), and all she has is Alfea. "She had both no children and many children:" I love this line for a lot of reasons. First because, to an extent, I agree with the idea that Farah feels separate. Despite how close she is with her friends and their kids, she is still removed from them, and I understand, because of everything she's gone through, that although the kids may see her as a maternal figure, Farah herself might not, not because she doesn't love them, but because that's a good, nice thing, and Farah wouldn't allow herself to have that. She's spent 16 years making up for the past and feeling guilty about it, she's not going to readily accept the good things in her life because she may not feel she deserves them after all she's done. I also love this line because regardless of Farah's intentions, she subconsciously loves every child that comes through Alfea's doors, even if she struggles to show it. It's ironic to me, but also fitting considering other parallels, that Rosalind would view love as a weakness (like Voldemort) and try to train the love out of Farah, who now believes herself incapable of love, when in actuality she possesses and unknowingly receives so much love it might ultimately be what saves her (idk if this makes her Harry Potter, or Lily, which makes Bloom Harry). Because regardless of whatever her fate ends up being in the show, the love and loyalty and respect her students and friends and family have for her is ultimately going to be Rosalind's downfall, I believe, and if it doesn't play a part what in the hell are you doing Fate?

It’s confirmed Farah cried after Aster Dell. She didn’t, in the flashback we saw, but I imagine that was a “steady on” moment and it wasn’t until later she actually broke down because that seems like just the Farah thing to do. Saul says it was the “only” time he saw Farah cry, which I might believe only because it’s very easy to talk oneself out of crying if you have enough practice as I suspect Farah does, so even with nightmares, she likely doesn’t cry, or doesn’t let the tears fall, which is why Saul’s only seen her cry the one time.

I am very intrigued about Farah's trip to the First World because I am currently working on a story about it, so to see a canon-adjacent version of how she met Bloom has me very excited. That being said, nothing like that happens, and I’ve been left disappointed. Farah uses tracking magic and is perplexed by the “strange perfumes” being sold in a shop “claiming to smell like sugary cereal and one like a camel.” Does fairy Sephora not exist? You’re telling me there’s not a fairy perfume called like “Unicorn Blood?” It’s Fate’s own fault for not worldbuilding more in the first season and leaving us high and dry in between then and season 2, but in the OG cartoon the realm of Magix was like, New York City or the Capital from Hunger Games on steroids. It had high end clothing stores and restaurants and was where the rich and fashionable spent their days. I think the girls went several times, most notably to choose dresses for some dance or another. You’re telling me nothing like that exists? Or Farah’s just never been? Not buying it, personally.

The magical trail leads Farah to an antique shop, where she meets Bloom and Vanessa. Bloom comes across as a sort of Belle from the Beauty and the Beast remake, spending all her time at antique stores and junkyards and “all last weekend” fixing her new clock. We know Bloom likes antiques because of a throwaway comment in the show and because she held a lamp that one time, but this addition is actually super cool to me. It tells me Bloom is fascinated by how things work, and makes more sense her detailed notes on how her magic works. Bloom readily admits to being weird and a loner at school, I’ve always personally headcanoned that she’s bullied, and thought her conversation with Aisha about Harry Potter was very telling: clearly, being into something considered “mainstream” Bloom should’ve, in theory, had at least a few friends, but she was obviously so starved for attention when Aisha brought it up that I’m more likely to assume Bloom’s “weirdness” warned people off before she even had the chance to approach. So poor little Bloom took sorting hat quizzes by herself but had no one to share the results with. These fun Bloom-centric tidbits aside, we don’t see any sort of interaction between she and Farah. They don’t even speak. So what was the point?

And finally:

Silrah

Farah and Saul interact exactly one time in this entire story, and I’m not counting him throwing his jacket at her after the fountain incident. Still, it’s a wonderfully tender moment that’s not obviously Silrah but still implies a deep trust and bond between them. I am a die-hard Silrah shipper, but more than that it’s important to me as a proud asexual that their intimacy extends beyond the physical, that they are so deeply connected as people who love one another in any context that defining their relationship almost doesn’t matter. I still want them to kiss, but exploring their connection on a deeper, more vulnerable and emotional level appeals to me too. It’s immediately established by Farah that no one knows Saul like she does because she can tell from his face or the look in his eyes exactly what he’s thinking and feeling.

During Saul’s first pov, I greatly enjoyed the deep-dive into Saul’s thoughts about Farah regardless of his other characterization issues: he trusts her so implicitly that it’s become second nature. He doesn’t know what it means not to trust Farah, not to follow her or listen to her because that’s what he’s always done. He can’t imagine not doing that: “She was the fixed point of the world.” It’s described in terms that go back to his being a soldier, that it’s second nature to let Farah run the show because he’s not a general he’s a soldier thus he must have a leader, but it doesn’t imply that could be just anyone: he followed Rosalind until it became a choice between she and Farah, and Saul was never going to choose anyone but Farah.

The relationship between the Golden Trio of Fate is odd with regards to Ben, because interactions between he and Saul and he and Farah feel almost like an after thought, like the proper care and attention wasn’t paid to his character like it was with Saul and Farah, or almost like it’s a support for the close relationship Silrah have, that they’re not close to Ben, which feels like a disservice. Saul mentions that Ben “buried the soldier he used to be deep, and now pretended he was gone” and Saul can’t relate to that: I agree, I think Ben found it easier to let go of that part of himself because of his kids but also because he doesn’t have the role of training soldiers the way Saul does. Saul is, essentially, doing exactly what he’s been doing almost his whole life. Their paths are very different. But they’re friends, or they’re meant to be, though this book isn’t the best at showing it, and I don’t like how he can waltz into Ben’s greenhouse and proclaim “what’s up, nerd” and just as easily snap at Ben that Sky’s “not his son” and follow it up with an angsty internal monologue about how he and Ben don’t understand each other. Are they friends or aren’t they? There’s bad at expressing oneself, and then there’s just bad communication, and it’s difficult to be friends with someone who doesn’t communicate, in my experience. But this disappointing interaction with Ben does work as a stepping stone to Silrah, as Saul reflects that he can always trust Farah to know how he feels even if he can’t say it, because she’s a mind fairy. Though that is implying she regularly delves into his mind, which I disagree with, and Farah later confirms is not true, but this bit is from Saul’s pov, and if he were a mind fairy he’d likely look at others’ thoughts to see if they were a threat, so realistically assumes the same of Farah.

Farah’s thoughts on Saul are fleeting in comparison to his thoughts on her, but she does acknowledge their bond and all they’ve been through, and that she can always trust and rely on him, but chooses not to tell him about going to the First World so as not to ‘burden’ him. They discuss this, in the only scene where they properly interact, and Saul rightly tells her she’s being ridiculous because he’ll always be there for her: even when she questions if he’d make the same choices at Aster Dell over again, knowing what happens, he refuses to entertain the idea of not picking her, or staying by her side. It’s honestly the most Saul has been ‘himself’ in the entire book, because he’s the most emotionally open. He calls Farah “the beating heart of this school” and that when she’s gone that heart “skips a beat;” Farah challenges him, telling him not to act as though he “can’t live without [her]” and Saul replies definitively “I can’t live without you.” It’s as close to a declaration of love as we’ve canonically gotten so far and I love it. Their banter is cute, friendly, exactly as I’d expect considering the years they’ve been together and all they’ve gone through. They both get flustered at the almost-admitting of feelings, which also feels very in character, and both have separately admitted that when it comes down to it, they’d take the blame and shoulder the guilt if it meant the other didn’t have to.

Overall, the book was enjoyable and I have no regrets buying it or reading it. There’s some lovely characterization additions, some headcanons confirmed, and relationships explored. The plot felt only mildly lacking and a bit jumbled with the shifting of povs, and I think could have benefited from a bit of tightening up and clarity of direction, ie focusing on Farah in the First World as the main plot, then Orientation Day as the subplot. But that’s also because I’d rather have had an entire book about Farah (and Saul) and I crave any Farah content I can get.

I’m sorry this is so ridiculously long. The good news is, by the time I cut it all down, it was only 9 pages instead of 10.

#long post #fate the winx saga #ftws #fate winx saga #fate: the winx saga #eve best #farah dowling #saul silva #rob james collier #farah x saul #silrah #farah dowling x saul silva #fate headcanons #fate review #In Fate we don't say I love you we say you're the fixed point of my world and I think that's beautiful

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redlenai · 2 years

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Well... Remember that I had the chance to get a diagnosis to know If I was autistic? I could have the results by doing the devolution with my aunt, who is a professional and... well, it seems that this required being in person or video-call.

I don’t like neither, because I don’t have a close relationship with her and I’m not comfortable around her. Neither I want to spend time with her.

I was going to let it slide until I had the time and money (mostly time) to pay someone to do the devolution, but the thing is the following:

My mom, who was the person who convinced me to do the diagnosis at first. Gotta say, she told me about my brother’s diagnosis (ASD) first and the possible chance of me being on the spectrum as well; and the way she asked me was by looking extremely worried which made me feel like I owed her peace and rest, I always tried not to be a burden to her.

But, as she was learning about my brother’s diagnosis, she was also studying to be a therapeutic companion, she is been for a year studying, while I recognize her efforts, interests and desperation to use her new adquired tools... I feel that she is projecting and overanalyzing me. Under my back, she goes and asks if I could get the devolution with the Nuerologist who first gave the order to get the tests done, I understand she does this because she wants to provide me with tools and resources, but I don’t see it as she is caring for me, I see it as an entitlement she has and her need to be “better than her own mother”, which I also understand but lately I’ve been disliking.

The only times we talked, prior to her last visit, it was always with her providing something for me or insisting that if I needed something I could rely on her, which I know, but she also needs to know I never was the type who asked for things (Like toys, clothing, neither attention, etc) unless it was absolutely necessary and I was the one struggling. But with the way she raised me, the fact that she has to help me is because I’m neglecting something, if she has to mention me about certain “oportunities” (Like the gov giving money or free stuff) is because I’m not seeing them. I’m not struggling financially, so she giving me info to get a bonus from the gov kind of pissed me off because it means that on her eyes I’m not doing enough nor living to a certain standard.

Which, when you’re raised with quotes such as “If you do things wrong or things don’t work out as you want is because you’re not putting enough effort into it” or that “Lazy and depressed who aren’t doing anything in this house aren’t allowed here” you kind of end up being the type who feels pressured and always tries to avoid conflic or is ready to have an hour of constant nagging on your back as you presure to do everything you were “supposed” to do. No wonder why I’m so strick, or “rigid” with myself.

When she visited and tells me about that I don’t have to do the test with my aunt but the Neurologist, I told her that she doesn’t need to worry about me, I’m thankful but I didn’t ask her to do those things for me. She goes full entitled about how parents aren’t going to stop “caring” for their children no matter how old they are, but I told her, I don’t consider she is caring for me, I don’t feel supported but annoyed, that she is belitting me.

For some reason, the conversation goes and transform into a whole speech of she doing her best to provide tools so I get to know myself better, to don’t be so rigid, and then goes to “What are you going to do when your overfixation doesn’t work anymore and you can’t profit out of it? I’m doing this for your sake, because I don’t want to see you suffer” And honestly I’m still mad, because before she got into all the psychology shit that every single damn student overuses and over projects and wrongly, she wasn’t this kind of live-love-laugh wannabe condescending prick, and sorry, but that’s how I feel she is. Back then before all this she was happy I was living off my dreams and doing what I loved the most, she even presumed it to her friends or strangers, but it seems that after my brother’s diagnosis and then studying this career gave her once again an excuse to consider that I’m not going to succeed or that there is no hope in what I do, that I’m just overfixating. And I got pissed at that, even on my brother’s sake who loves dinosaurs, loves creepy stuff and other things, yeah he is overfixated but saying that he won’t get a job with what he likes is biased, he can implement what he loves and what gives him comfort into his career, work or that it takes a high part of his life. I made a way to figure it out, I’m sure he can but I hope he doesn’t end up being a workaholic like me who seeks validation on payment numbers or how tired I’m before going to bed.

While the discussion didn’t escalate, I know things didn’t end well or unresolved at least, I told her when I feel like it I’ll get my diagnosis, that “I’ll see what I’ll do” and leave it there. Now, I kind of don’t want to interact with her, or at least limit my interactions, I don’t feel like sharing how things are going on my house/life or whatever, she can see my work, after all I post it on social media so there it is, she’ll see what the rest of people see (Except from what I share here on Tumblr, almost no one follows me here, which is a plus) but the thing is...

I don’t want my diagnosis anymore, not because of the result, but because I don’t want to be labeled and treated differently, especially if my career and abilities are being dismissed. I might get it one day, when I feel like it, at my time, because I’m tired of having to hurry for everything because of someone else’s interests and not my own, I don’t want things to be done out of compromises imposed on me, if I want to do something for myself, I want the need to be born out of me. Still, I don’t deny I’m being an asshole and an ungrateful brat

#red vent #red rambles #personal stuff

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bo0zey · 2 years

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i hadn’t gone to my gen ed english class in like 3 days n today i finally went n got there kinda early so it was just me n my english professor and i started apologizing for not being there/emailing him/turning my late work and he’s just like “are you okay?” n i’m flustered m like yes but it’s just a lot going on right now—but i hate giving excuses bc in my eyes no excuse is good enough to avoid the consequences to my actions but he kinda cuts me off n is “u don’t have to tell me anything. i just want to make sure you’re okay.” and didn’t say anything abt the missing work MEANWHILE my nursing professor who knows i’ve been going thru it mentally and literally witnessed me start to breakdown in tears when she askef me if i was ok after she’d lectured me and made snide mean comments and jabs bc i didn’t come to her for help for something stupid and she has no idea how hard it is for me to ask for help or extensions because i’ve been taught that in this world i must do everything on my own, alone, and i have trouble asking for extensions bc i feel like they’re gonna say no bc i don’t deserve them bc i don’t have a good enough excuse to ask for one bc i was taught never to give excuses bc i should’ve done something more in the first place and so anyways i missed the extension for turning in the rough draft our big research paper n she emailed me AND CC’the director of the nursing program n was like u automatically get a 0 for the draft and if u don’t turn in ur final paper YOU WILL FAIL THIS CLASS AND WILL NOT GRADUATE…….anyways what im trying to say is that my gen ed english professor isnt. making me out to be a monster unlike my nursing professor who literally has more of a clue abt my mental health than him like???????

#idk if any of that makes sense but i started crying rn so i can’t type anymore without thinking and crying #i wish someone valued me over assignments and grades #i was raised my entire life only ever receiving praise for academics that’s all that mattered to my father #i was nothing without my perfect grades the only way i thought my life had value the only way i thought i could make my parents bally was #if i got good grsddd and excelled in things. i studied for my geometry final the night of my birthday while my mom laid dying #on the hospice bed in our living room after wasting her last breaths to sing me happy birthday #i will never recover from that guilt i will never recover from the trauma of putting school before my mental health again #so now school is hard at least turning assignments in on time now that i don’t hVe the fear of god in me from my dad #and i’m not a person that’s struggling i’m a lazy student who doesn’t do her work i’m worthless without submitting assignments #i feel like my inner child all the way up to my senior year of high school i except instead of repressing my emotions and getting shit down #i can’t stop crying and dissociating and sleeping and forgetting and being anhedonic and having no motivation to do anything but escape #into my head #but my english professor saw me with a gentle not disappointed or accusatory and i immediately started profusely apologizing and trying #trying not to give excuses for my absences n late work even tho i had some but they weren’t good ones #but he just stopped me put his arms in the air like one would to show they mean no harm and said you don’t have to tell me anything #i just want to make sure you’re okay #nobody will ever be that kind and gentle and understanding towards me again no one will ever be there for me to stop me from overexplainjng #it won’t matter to them i won’t have to frantically try to cover every base they’ll just stop me and say it’s okay and ive never had that #i sent him a giant like multi paragraph multi sentences email begging to join his class the beginning of the year bc i needed a third and #his was the only that fit in my schedule but it was full and i degraded myself for not choosing his class earlier but #all he replied to my mini novella was that it was fine with him. and he was very kind to me over email and he let me into his full class #and still instead of being great full and always coming to class and turning my assignments on time i stopped going missed my assignment #i thought he’d be angry and annoyed w me for not being great full #but he was kind to me he treated me like i didn’t owe him anything #i can’t stop crying i have so many big assignments due today that i procrastinated bc i just couldn’t be bothered and now i’m overwhelmed #and the interaction w my english professor just reminded me #of my clinical instructor looking me in the eyes as my eyes started tearing up and glassy and she had the nerve to ask me if i was ok after #she was grilling me and telling me i needed to ask for help blahblabab and she didn’t know how hard it is for me to ask others for help #i’m the biggest burden to everyone everyone suffers bc of me i turn assignments in late when profs are busy grading others #i’m so selfish and self centered. i only ever tnink about myself lazy selfish fuck stupid evil dumb idiot never do anything right fuxk up fu

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angellgguk · 3 years

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white rose painted red [ Jung Hoseok ]

summary [ you trusted him wholeheartedly but when he breaks the trust and you dared to go against him he shows you your place ]

genre [ yandere, smut, angst ]

warning/s, mentions of [ NON CON, non consented voyeur, letting third person view it without consent, illegal relationships (professor x student), mentions of illegal filming (yes again), mentions of poverty, taking advantage of naivety, degrading status, oc is innocent still,and hoseok is now a bigger asshole, goverment and money ]

smut warnings [ demeaning names, deepthroating/bj’s, facials, shoe humping (is that what it is?), illegal filming (again a fuckinggain), non consented public sex ]

characters [ football captain hoseok ft-jeon jungkook, professor Kim taehyung ]

wc [ 4k ]

13.01.2021 [ hehe first one for the year, please be nice I tried to write smut in ‘my way’ idk if it was alright since I haven’t practiced it well yet.rb ya’ll i strive on them ]

Hoseok smirked after one glance at the younger man seated in one of the bleachers with Hoseok's phone in his hand and a surprised part of mouth.hoseok dribbled the ball one last time before kicking it to the middle of the field to go to the younger.”nice show Jungkook?” The said man didn’t flinch at the sudden voice of the elder, he only closed his mouth and gulped while widening his eyes further at each movement in the video.

“Hyung..” he finally looked away from the video to face hoseok who was busy loosening the lace of his shoes.”she said yes to this?” the shock in his voice had hoseok’s smirk widening proudly.he shrugged sluggishly before proceeding to completely undo the laces of his soccer shoes., “of course she did, I was getting her new lace and a textbook after all” jungkook shook his head and turned his attention back to the compelling video.

“Not that hyung , the video. she doesn’t look like the type to agree” jungkook’s attention was forced to turn once again to hoseok when he started to laugh loud enough for it to resonate throughout the college’s lonely stadium “of course she-”

“Didn’t” jungkook startled from hoseok and looked up at the disruptor with the same wide pair of eyes, only to widen it more, he struggled to stand up with the voyeur still being played loud on hoseok’s phone “professor Kim?” the said professor gripped tight onto a phone with a shattered screen and growled under his breath as he walked towards a mundane hoseok.

“You’re fucking disgusting” hoseok chuckled softly under his breath and undid the knot of his second lace while Jungkook only stared at both men with a confused cock of an brow.”you-” the professor’s words were cut off when a loud cry from the phone interrupted him.”you’re letting him watch too?” his voice faltered, the professor was taken immensely aback by how shameless Jung hoseok was to let a younger teammate of his watch the voyeur he filmed without consent, it would have been alright for hoseok since his dick was the only seen thing from him.

Professor Kim walked closer to Hoseok with gritted teeth and pulled him up by the collar of his jersey.hoseok hid his surprise behind a lazy smirk and watched as the professor’s hand tightened around the material.”what do you think you’re doing with her?” Hoseok rolled his eyes and threw the other’s hands off him, “why do you care?” He turned his back to the professor as he walked away while taking his jersey off to let his caramel, toned abs glow under the evening sun.

“I’m a Professor Jung, I care about my students,” Hoseok kept his scoff in and bent down to pick a new bottle up to wash the sweat off his hair.”you filmed her and threatened to share it didn’t you?” Hoseok gasped and made sure to make it sound as fake as possible, Jungkook held a laugh in and went back to the video with no care since the winner in the argument was crystal clear.his cock instantly twitched at the sight of hoseok’s rough pull to the tail he had plugged in( ‘for the innocence in you’ he had said) when he switched his focus back to the clumsily filmed porn.

“Don’t take me as a fucking joke hoseok, I can expel you if I want to” hoseok stopped pouring water over his dyed brown hair to look at his professor with a side glance and a steady smirk “will you do it taehyung?” The drop of formalities didn’t have Taehyung slumping; it was the lack of any fear in his voice.

“Why wouldn’t I?” hoseok smirked and walked back to taehyung while pushing the water back with his fingers.hoseok stopped in front of him once again and turned his smirk into a smile he moved closer to taehyung, making him frown further in confusion.hoseok hummed under his breath and spotted the wrinkles in taehyung’s shirt.he etched a faux frown in his entrapping features and leant in closer to smoothen it while leaning closer towards the professor’s ear,

“Don’t park your car next to mine when you’re making your students to suck you off” with a satisfied smile he pulled away and smiled wider at the shocked man.taehyung’s eyes stayed at hoseok’s for a few mere seconds before it wandered below to find for a solution, he let out a struggled chuckle and ran his ring clad fingers through his newly bleached honey brown locks “y-you’re not fooling me”

Hoseok shook his head and took a few steps back while throwing the half filled plastic bottle away to the littered floor.”two scrolls away sir” taehyung’s eyes widened when he saw hoseok glancing behind for a brief second at an focused jungkook.“You filmed me?” hoseok proudly nodded and walked back, this time zipping his duffel.”I knew I would need it” he smirked at the professor’s figure in catastrophe.he was bluntly lying about the video, he was not that disgusting but his memory was helping him and his father’s position in the government that he had to drop in his knees for, one stain to that lily white reputation from his son and he’s out.

He picked his jersey up and threw it over his shoulder and did the same with his duffel to the other shoulder.he turned around and walked towards Jungkook to retrieve his phone back.the younger man sighed when he snatched the phone away, hoseok let a short lived breathy chuckle when his eyes lowered to see the obvious tent in jungkook’ shorts.”locker room is free after I use it” jungkook rolled his eyes and shoved his hands inside his pockets for now.

“She looks pretty when she’s crying” Hoseok hid a smirk in at Jungkook's obvious statement and turned around, giving Jungkook a view of his bare back emitting few mere sweat droplets.he moved the sleek black phone carelessly between his fingers as he walked towards taehyung.

Taehyung’s raged orbs looked up from the concrete to meet hoseok’s laid back eyes.”she looks adorable when she cries” he repeated and brushed past taehyung’s shoulder with a pat to his back.

Trusting men was a wrong choice for you.

You had first trusted your professor to take care of such an intimate issue caused by someone you put your whole heart into then you had continued to trust your professor when he said he had taken care of the issue when he handed your phone back. your naive self had even believed that hoseok and his friends were out of campus by now and that was why you held your head up high and walked around completely forgetting what type of of man hoseok was and what he really was capable of.

You were too happy that you were even planning to make cookies with the neighboring kids for surviving hoseok and the particular voyeur he had threatened you with.but all that hope you had flew away in thin air when the beast jumped in front of you just a few hours later with such rage in his eyes that you were quivering even when you stood quite far from him.

“Did you go and tattle to Kim?” with tears clouding your vision already you gripped tighter onto the textbook he got you when you saw his dress shoes move towards you, your worn out sneakers instinctively moved back in fear too.”people like you are never grateful” he continued while taking longer strides. Maybe you would have ran away faster from the same man you pleaded for just a few days ago if it wasn’t for the trashcan restricting you.he scoffed when you tried to run past him, he caught you back and pushed you against the wall harsh enough for a temporary bump in your head.

“What did you think he was going to do?” there was a obvious tone of mockery in the faux saccharine voice of his.you tried to hide your burning face and tearing orbs away from him by using the heavy textbook as leverage but he was quick to slap the book down for the loud noise to resonate throughout the lonely hallway.the smile he managed to hold onto all this while wiped away when he lowered himself to your height and slammed a hand right next to your hand while letting the other grip onto your jaw to bring you up to face him.

“Do you know how much it costs for me to get you everything?” his words were filled with venom from all the hate he had stored for you for what you had tried to do “the least you could do is be grateful” he spat and you could only sniffle and try to avoid his burning gaze.”I really didn’t-”

“Mean to?” he finished for you his voice getting thicker and his grip getting harder, he once again laughed but you weren’t too much of a fool to not realize that it obviously was fake and beneath it hid extreme malice.”of course you didn’t! You just probably accidentally hopped your way into Kim’s office, rambled about this, gave him your phone for evidence, wrote a complaint out then waddled back to your business” the faux cheer he had on during the first few words of his sentence gradually disappeared and turned back into the same grimace it formed from.

“Right?” he had lowered himself to perfectly meet your eye as he whispered the last word of the sarcastic sentence he had constructed.you shook your head and gulped a thick lump in.he dropped his grip on your jaw and moved down to you neck to strangle the gasps out of you, “fucking slut, do I need to teach you to be grateful too now?” your clouded vision stared into his stoic eyes to plead for mercy.being with hoseok truly was a privilege for someone like you but the moment he himself knocked some sense in you to remind you that men that came from families like his truly was what the screen portrayed them as you had to rethink about your choices.

“You wouldn’t even dare to show up anymore once I’m done with you” he promised as he let your neck go and let the hand to pin both your feeble wrists up and the other to fumble with your buttons.you watched him with a wide pair of eyes and a unstable breathing.you wanted to shout, protest or at least struggle the slightest against him but his grip and the fear of the voyeur his phone held scared you too much to even move.

He forced your shorts and your underwear down and hoisted you up to hook your legs around his waist.he pushed your shirt up and pulled your bra aside to latch his lips onto your calm nipples, “h-hoseok not here ple-nghh!” you were forced to shut up and bite onto your lips when he landed a slap to your breasts before continuing to suck onto one nipple and dropping the same hand back down to run a skilled finger along your clit, scoffing in disbelief against your skin when it wasn’t as wet like usual.

“You know what? You don’t deserve this” he reminded as he bit hard onto your nipple for the last time and pulled away before unhooking your legs from his waist.”on your knees” you looked at him in complete shock and looked around with the same pair of wide eyes to find for anyone lurking around in the after hours.”here?” you whispered but he wasn’t ready to listen as he pushed you down and let your knees scrape against the marble.

He fumbled with his belt in one hand and grabbed a fistful of your hair in another.”open up” you were hesitant to his command this time as you looked up at him with hope in your eyes but he was quick to disregard that with a slap to your cheek with his half hard cock.you gulped and wet your chapped lips being dubious about taking him but it seemed as if you didn’t even have a choice as he pried your mouth open with his fingers before pushing himself in with a grunt.

His cock is thick and hard enough to make your lips strain and for your jaw to stretch at a painful girth.he tightened his grip around your hair and pushed in deep until his cockhead was hitting the back of your throat, you gagged and instinctively licked the underside of his shaft.but it wasn’t satisfying enough to him as he growled and thrust in once

You winced and held loosely onto the linen of his pants before pulling away slightly until your lips were wrapped around the head.you let your tongue taste the velvety taste of his precum when you licked right over his slit. He seemed to be taken back to the memories of your experience with his cock as a deep chuckle made its way deep from his throat.

“I don’t have all day with your kitten licks” he grabbed your jaw in one hand, his skin warm against your pale and cold skin and forced it to stretch more as he thrust in.he pushes in deep enough until you were loudly choking, gagging and drooling around his cock.you attempt to breath but it seemed to be stuck and refused to come back.you try to coax your throat to flutter but with his cock filling you up to the brim that too stays unsuccessful.

The uncomfortable toil in your lips, the unusual stretch of your throat and the feeling of being used and threatened had tears rolling down your bloated, filled cheeks.he seemed to notice and that was what had him propelling in deeper and throwing his back in more pleasure than he’s ever been, “look at you, taking my cock like the perfect whore you are”.you clenched your eyes shut and opened it back up again to let your blurred vision stare at the fine leather of his shoes.but he wasn’t having that either, his grip on your locks came back as he pulled your up and let your neck strain up to look at him.

He forced you to maintain the eye contact as he fucked your throat with no absolute remorse your nose tugged against at his pubic hair. you shudder when you felt him twitch at the back of your throat.he growled loud under his breath and pulled his cock away, finally letting you inhale the much wanted air with your own spit dripping down your chin and landing on the floor going past your knees.but it didn’t last long as he rested his tip against your tongue for a bare moment before thrusting in savagely again.your throat was still not accommodated enough so it was understandable when you audibly gagged loud once again and choked all over his cock.but he pulled away harshly once again, only to push in with much force for you to get used to again.

You knew your jaw would’ve been bruised by this point, considering the ways it has been abused in.he doesn’t let you adjust at all as he thrusts in at his favored pace urgently and forcefully.you choke more than usual as he sets a more brutal pace at each passing second.his eyes would lower down once every minute to focus on your pained expression or his cock bulging in your throat.

Your throat ached from being constantly forced open further and pressing at your gag reflex, your chest hurt with the lack of air and your scalp burned from the harsh tug he had on but hoseok was too invested in fucking into your mouth to clear his vengeance to show any mercy.

You continued to stare up at him with your hazy, red eyes but he was not looking at all, only throwing his head back with a string of curses and degrades falling from his mouth.you took a huge intake of the much awaited air and coughed out in attempts to practice your throat back to normal when he finally yanked your head away from him.”stick your tongue out” you complied and gulped a painful lump in before sticking your tongue out and waiting anxiously for his actions.

A loose smirk hung onto his mouth as he pried your mouth open wider with his fingers before spitting on his other hand and grasping his cock before roughly pumping himself for release.”never good enough” he lied and continued to fist and pump his cock in a frenzy, the white rhodium of his bracelet dangling in the process.

You try to flex your mouth for it to forget the forming pain but with his fingers holding onto your jaw restricting you to move the pain agonizingly stayed.you hadn’t realized that you had lost focus in his eyes until he started to let out stuttered moans while his strokes started to get sloppy.you knew he was fortunately close when his hips started to buck into his own hand in a faltering pace as he searched for his release.

“Fuck fuck fuck, close your eyes” he warned, being merciful for once as he squeezed his tip while gripping open your jaw wider and tighter.all he had to do to let all the pent up anger out was your wide eyes and the fear it held.you clenched your eyes tighter and held your tongue out like instructed when warm ropes of his cum started to paint your face, a few landing down on your tongue for you to taste and the rest collecting your saliva and dribbling down to your naked skin with it.

He watched you through low lids and tired pants while pushing his sweaty, dyed locks back to reveal the clear beads of sweat rolling down to land against his neck.he watched how you were ignoring the exotic taste of his cum he adorned your face with. he gulped in and ran his tongue along his dehydrated lips.

He lured his bottom lip in before it escaped on it’s own will as he guided his cock along your cheeks and collected his wasted seeds and your own spit before shoving it all the way back in to be caught by your reflex in time.he gave you a few generous minutes to suck him off completely.

“-somewhere next to the library” the sudden unfamiliar voice that echoed from the distance had you frantically pulling away but he growled and pulled you back with a warning gleam twinkling in his eyes.”don’t you fucking dare move if you don’t want me to take this to the auditorium” you winced at the possibility and tried to savor his taste with a palpating heart and wandering eyes.he smiled in satisfaction and watched you loudly suck off everything he was offering for you.

When he finally pulled away for good you lost your grip on him and fell weak on the floor with shallow breaths.he pulled out the fine silk he usually would tuck in his dress pants for emergencies as such while he watched your fucked out state trying to grasp back reality.you truly did look picture perfect with drool, sweat and his cum dribbling down with your abused jaw and teary orbs.he rolled his tongue inside his cheek as he tucked himself back in and threw the soiled silk aside.

“Fix yourself I’m leaving” your almost stupor self was back at his words.you desperately clinged onto his pants when he turned around and took his first step.he shoved his hands inside his pants and looked down at you with faux disgust written over his face, “you can’t leave” you pleaded under your breath as he only cocked a brow in response.”why? is the poor kitten needy too now?” with eye catching crimson brushing over your cheeks, you shook your head in a futile attempt to ignore the truth.

He turned right back and squatted right in front of you before pulling you up by your cheeks to face him.”didn’t you say no a few moments ago? Now you want me? Slut” he whispered the last term in a harsh whisper but you heard it as clear as the Absolut he shot down his throat ever so often .he held your cheeks and stared into it as he pulled his phone out, “I have five more minutes to leave” he declared before shoving the device back in his pocket to bring the same hand down to run a hand through your exposed cunt.

He pulled it away and spat on it before bringing it back to make it glisten enough with your natural nectar.once again when you expected him to do the bare minimum he pulled away with a little pat to your pussy.your eyes followed closely as he stood up and leaned against the wall, “hump on my shoe, that’s the most I will let you do” your eyes widened and your entire face turned red like never before.you tried to search for any humour laced under his voice but the lack of his smirk told you that he indeed was deadly serious about this.”n-no you don’t-”

“I fucking want to” he seethed and slid his versaces right under your dripping cunt before settling it between your thighs.”I-I don’t want to make it dirty” you confessed in the tiniest voice as you looked down past him but his chuckle and the slight tug from his feet had you looking up, “go ahead” he offered and raised a brow at his shoes.

You whimpered the moment your clit hesitantly met the leather, your fingers weakly clutched onto the end of his pants as you continued to move back and forth trying to find the pace you favored but with the fear of getting caught lingering inside you, it was impossible to get comfortable with a pace that would have you cumming quicker.

The rest of the coming minutes were spent with you trying to find a pace with your clit moving around tortuously paired with broken moans and strangled whimpers escaping your bruised lips while hoseok silently watched with his hands crossed across his chest, his back leaning against the wall and a steady smirk plastered on his lips.your hands struggled to find leverage, you were not sure if touching him was allowed so all you could do was scratch on your own skin and chip your nails off from the floor below.

He watched you chase for a release.the little heart and sympathy in him forced him to tug his feet up once in a while clearly being aware that you were going through a cartwheel of pain and pleasure all at once, just the right amount to trigger your orgasm.

“Hurry up I don’t have all day” he tapped his other foot and moved his head to the side as he watched your hips moving faster and grinding down on his seven hundred dollar velvet leather, desperate to cum all over it.your knees were scraping at each jerk and your ass along with your thighs was perfectly complying to your movements giving anyone that could walk by a moment worthy picture.

It didn’t take long for you to feel a familiar coil in your stomach coming undone (thanks to his seldom tugs), clear pearl beads of sweat rolled down your forehead as you clench your eyes shut and unconsciously hold tight onto the comfort of his pants as you let your clit painfully and pathetically connect with the ridge of his shoes to cry out and let your release out against his shoes and your own thigh.

You sniffled and hid your face against his thighs as you prolonged your worthy release by humping right at the edge of his shoe until you felt your thighs and cunt quivering the rest of your energy completely draining along with it.with slow breaths you kept your grip on his thighs and calmed down against it while slowing yourself down as his fingers were brought down to tuck a few of the strands that were stuck to your forehead away.

With a tint of hope in your eyes you looked up at him as you came from your high.’’are you done?” you panted and gulped.once he got your answer he pulled his feet away to let your wet cunt meet with the cold hard ground.”get yourself cleaned then, I’m leaving”.and you only nodded helplessly as you watched him slowly disappear with his hands shoved inside his pockets.

He forgave you, didn’t he?.

“You want a new A9 alpha?” The mention of his favorite camera had Jungkook widening his eyes at a distracted hoseok.he didn’t bother to question more as he let the elder watch the video he requested for.

Hoseok let your sobs rack through the sleek black device as he looked away for a few regretful seconds to pull his wallet out from the back of his pocket.he rested the phone against his thigh and let jungkook get the glimpse of the video for the second time while he pulled the promised bills out.”how will you title it hyung?” he asked with a little titter but hoseok didn’t bother heeding as he counted the bills for the last time before holding it out to jungkook.

“Leave” Jungkook had to obey but he was still busy counting the money he had mindlessly blabbered when the offer was forwarded.”which site hyung? I need to watch too” Jungkook's voice was comically serious as he had already concluded Hoseok's revenge for you.

But he was wrong, immensely so.

“Why would I let this video out, it's for me and her you were just the perfect third person I needed” Jungkook’s little smile wiped off at hoseok’s words.he pocketed his money and looked back at hoseok, “why do you need her anymore hyung? Wouldn’t your vengeance be resolved once you ruin her with this?”

Even hoseok himself wasn’t expecting the loud chuckle that escaped him.he switched his phone off and reminded himself to make a copy of the video permanently for himself. he turned towards the younger as his laugh faltered into scoffs and coughs.he pat jungkook harshly on the back, “you’re young for this aren't you little boy? Now hop off, I have a father to meet”. Jungkook gulped and found himself nodding along automatically.

He was not as young then why did he never understand?

reblogs are always longed for. •‿•

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jimlingss · 3 years

Note

hi!! for the requests, could I suggest hoseok, fluff, fake dating au, and the sentence 'I’ve been in love with you since we were kids.' thank you!

↳ Humdrum Amore

2.7k || 100% Fluff || Jung Hoseok

“I never thought I’d come back here one day.”

You stare at the brown building that you once dreaded. The same structure that you had to drag your feet into every morning five days a week after your dad dropped you off. But instead of feeling apprehension, there’s a sense of prickling nostalgia while you look at the building.

“Same.” The man beside you exhales, staring at the green field, the brown doors and small windows covered by blinds. “But it’s not all that bad, right?”

You turn to Hoseok who looks sharp in his simple suit and tie ensemble. You’ve seen him in the same clothes plenty of times, but while you’re wearing your red dress and you’re lingering in front of the school, it feels like the two of you have returned to being awkward eighteen year olds nervously going to prom together as friends.

But Hoseok eases you. “Come on.”

He takes your hand, a gesture you still aren’t used to, and tugs you inside.

The moment the doors are open, you follow the signs leading to the gymnasium and you’re met with a table of refreshments and goody bags. But more importantly, there are people already mingling in all corners. Some are wandering while most have gathered into groups to reminisce. There are those that you recognize and those whose faces have long faded in your memories.

High school. A time of pubescent years, of growing up and trying to prove yourselves while figuring out your future. You have mixed feelings about that time. All you know is that you’re glad it’s over.

“Y/N?” There’s a higher pitched voice to the left and you turn to see Tiffany approaching with a wide smile. “Hoseok?! Oh my god, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you guys! How are you?”

You hug her for a second. “It’s good. You?”

“Yeah.” She exhales as if she can’t believe you’re together again and you admit, it is surreal. There was definitely a difference from glancing at someone’s post, status and updates on social media and seeing them in person. “It’s been great. I didn’t know if you were coming to this reunion or not.”

You smile, glancing at Hoseok. He was right about coming. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Someone walks by with a tray of cheap champagne and all three of you take a glass, thanking the waiter. Tiffany sips her drink and gets down to the nitty-gritty. “So tell me, what do you do now?”

You brace yourself, knowing this was coming. “I’m working as an embryologist at a fertility lab.”

“That’s so cool!” Her eyes widen and she genuinely appears fascinated. “It sounds super fancy.”

You laugh, concealing the note of awkwardness in your voice. Tiffany doesn’t know that it sounds much better than it actually is. It’s an entire step down from being a family doctor, an occupation which you once said was your dream. And she has no clue that you’re struggling under your strict manager, that you just received a cut in pay and your hours are strenuous.

But you don’t dare show your exhaustion. Or your discontentment.

You keep flashing a bright smile.

Everyone in high school expected you to do great, that you would go somewhere, do something. You were the smart one. The hard-working one. There’s always been a certain burden of expectations on your shoulders from your parents to your teachers, and perhaps that’s where the need to prove yourself to your former peers stems. If they knew how mundane and regular and normal you turned out — instead of being the successful achiever — you’re sure their disappointment would have a bigger effect on you more than you’d ever admit.

And maybe that’s why Hoseok offered to pretend to be your partner for the night after you grieved about not being with anyone, when you struggled to find a plus one. He knows you best after all.

“What are you doing?” you ask Tiffany, and she hesitates, looking down at her drink for a second.

“Actually, I’m in-between jobs at the moment.” She musters a smile. “The economy sucks right now.”

You sympathize. “Yeah, I know what you mean. It’s hard to find a job these days.”

Tiffany turns to Hoseok and when she asks what he’s been up to, he says, “Nothing much. I’m working in IT as a development manager for this company.”

“Oh, that’s super cool too!” She’s about to ask something, but then her eyes incidentally stray downwards. You follow her line of sight, realizing that she’s looking at the way you’re holding hands with Hoseok.

“We’re...actually dating now,” you explain.

Instantaneously, Tiffany brightens. “You guys started dating after high school? When?!”

You laugh awkwardly. “Two...three years ago?” It doesn’t sound terribly convincing, so you try a second time, standing your ground. “Two, I think.” It falls a bit short, but she doesn’t notice.

No. Tiffany absolutely gushes. “That’s so cute! Oh my god! I always thought you’d both be good together!”

That has you taken aback. The relief of getting away with your lie and not being caught gets overtaken by surprise. “Really?”

“Well yeah. You were always close friends and everyone,” she emphasizes the word by drawing it out, “knew Hoseok had a huge crush on you.”

This was news to you.

But Hoseok outright ignores your stare in favour of smiling at your old friend and holding up your interlaced hands by your heads as if it’s a trophy. “Well, looks like I got the girl in the end.”

“Are you gonna propose any time soon then?”

There’s a glint of mischief in Hoseok’s eye. “Maybe.”

He’s way too good at lying. You’re starting to get convinced this is real.

“Aw, I wish I was at this honeymoon stage again. Everything’s so sweet and cute.”

Speaking of which. “Where’s Nick?” you ask.

Tiffany deflates slightly at the question and you wonder if you said something wrong. You don’t understand until she says, “Oh….yeah...we decided to split up a few months ago.”

“Really?” You would’ve never expected it. From what you remember, they were one of the few high school sweethearts that actually made it in the long run, a couple that you used to be jealous of at sixteen. They ended up getting married too and you saw pictures of them traveling together a year ago. Who knew what her life was actually like behind the scenes. “I’m...so sorry, Tiffany.”

“It’s alright. Life happens, I guess, but it all worked out in the end and we both have joined custody of Sunny. It gets messy sometimes but as long as she’s happy, I am too.” She smiles softly and then nods. “Well, it was really nice to catch up with you two. I’m happy to hear you’re going out. Better put a ring on this one before you lose her, Jung.”

“I will,” he promises.

Tiffany leaves to catch up with a girl she knew from choir, so you both bid your goodbyes. But somehow, the conversation leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

After greeting a few more old friends and acquaintances, you leave to the hallway.

The nostalgia slams into you, stronger than before. If you stare long enough, you can picture the hall crammed with your classmates, how you ran from class to class, sat in the desks, bored out of your mind and at times, stressed. The walls and rooms hold so many of your memories without them knowing. And that in itself makes you feel old and gray, even though you aren’t.

Not yet, at least. Hoseok always reassures you that you have another good thirty years before you’re allowed to call yourself old.

Said man glances at your expression and reads it like an open book. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” You sigh. “It’s just….I don’t know. I was trying to save face this entire time and I even went as far as to lie about our relationship.”

“You didn’t do it alone. I lied too.”

“Yeah, but I wanted this.” You shake your head, slowly rounding a corner and making your way down what you remember as the science corridor. “People probably have more going on with themselves than to care what I’m up to. I don’t know why I was so scared about what they would think about me.”

The corner of his mouth curls, and he nudges you with his elbow. “It’s high school.”

You lightly scoff but a smile tickles at your lips. “I just feel bad. Tiffany was so honest about herself, and she wasn’t ashamed about how her life turned out, not like I am.”

“No one turned out how they expected themselves to,” he hums in a thoughtful tone while glancing at the bulletin board tacked with handmade flyers for clubs. “It’s okay if you didn’t end saving the planet or finding the cure to cancer.”

You snort and soften. “Yeah.”

Hoseok always knows what to say to make you feel better.

“Look!” The peaceful moment is interrupted by the sheer volume of his voice. He points down the hall. “Our old lockers!”

You laugh, quickening your steps with his. The lockers are not technically yours anymore, they haven’t been for a long time and have probably been through tens of students since. Even right now, there are unfamiliar locks that keep them closed. But you still remember which one was yours.

You stand in front of it and Hoseok stands in front of his which is only three lockers down from yours.

The pair of you look at one another, exchanging grins. “Remember when I kept your math textbook for you since you were too lazy to put it away and we had to toss it to each other every morning?”

“Yeah. I never missed once.” He laughs and it’s a bubbly sound that’s exactly the same as back then. “Remember that time Taehyung stuffed himself inside my locker and we locked him in?”

You burst out laughing. “We almost got into trouble by Mr. Min!”

“Yep. That old man was always trying to pick on kids.”

“Except for that time Jimin launched that cake across the hall and it landed on some poor girl. He was nowhere to be found.”

Hoseok grins and comes over to lean on the blue locker next to yours, crossing his arms like he’s waiting for you before you’re late for the bell.

A sentimental feeling that is both wistful and happy washes you over again. You can recall those years as if they were yesterday. Namely, Hoseok would always be there when you closed your locker door, in the exact same position, staring at you with that identical warm expression. You don’t know a lot of your old high school friends anymore, don’t know what they’re doing or if they’ll come. It’s a natural progression of life, of going different paths and naturally drifting apart.

But Hoseok has always been your side. Since then till now.

“So.” You turn to him. “What’s this about everyone knowing you had a crush on me?”

Hoseok goes wide-eyed and says nothing for a moment. Then he scratches the back of his neck. “Just stupid kid stuff.”

You raise a brow and hum. “Didn’t sound like stupid kid stuff. How long did you even like me for?”

“I don’t know. Why?”

“I’m curious.” You shrug. “I never heard about this before.”

Hoseok is embarrassed, that much is obvious. You can tell by the way he’s brushing around the subject, not looking you in the eyes, how much he’s hesitating. It’s not like him and that makes you even more intrigued. “A while.”

Maybe you shouldn’t push him so much when he doesn’t want to talk about it. But for some reason, there’s a burning desire inside of you to know. After all, you thought you knew all of your best friend’s secrets.

“What’s a while?”

“Like sixth grade?”

Your jaw drops. “So when we met?”

“Yeah..?” Hoseok seems unsure and he’s staring at the other wall as if it’s the most interesting thing he’s ever seen. There’s nothing but a dirty shoe print on it. “Something like that.”

Now it’s your turn to be perplexed. Although, for an entirely different kind of reason. “But why?”

He turns his head, as if sensing you’re about to self-deprecate yourself. “You’re funny and smart and pretty, Y/N. Everyone liked you,” Hoseok explains it as if it’s factual and your cheeks grow warm.

You suck in your cheek, fiddling with the fabric of your dress. “Then why didn’t you ever tell me you liked me?”

“I was awkward and I was too scared you’d reject me,” he exhales and you glance at him to find an unreadable expression. Perhaps he’s uncomfortable at the idea now that he’s grown out of it and he knows you too well. Or maybe...just maybe...he’s filled with regret.

You shake off the thought before your imagination runs wild.

You’re about to drop the subject once and for all, but as you turn away, the quiet mutter slips from your mouth, “I wouldn’t have.”

Hoseok catches it.

He freezes completely and when you realize he’s not following you back to the gymnasium, you turn around. “Earth to Hoseok. What’s wrong?”

“What about now?”

“What?”

His expression is blank aside from the slight furrow of his brow. It’s not often Hoseok’s entirely serious and you’re caught off guard by his demeanour. He closes the distance in three strides and asks, “If I asked you out now, if I said I wanted to date you for real, would you reject me?”

His gaze is dark. Intense. As if he’s mustered up the courage he’s built for years for this very moment.

Your mouth opens, eyes unable to look away from him and your voice pipes out a timid— “no.”

In an instant, Hoseok’s mouth is on yours. Your back slams against the lockers as he cradles your cheeks in his palms, tilting his head to capture your lips carefully yet eagerly. You whine in his grasps and quickly reciprocate, moving your mouth against his. It’s soft, warm and comforting. Hoseok has always been comforting to you. A slow burn rather than a bursting firework that eventually fades away. A warm bonfire that’s built from the first spark rather than a forest wildfire that ultimately burns out after consuming everything.

You’ve always loved him. But perhaps it wasn’t always purely platonic like you thought. At least not until tonight where that’s been challenged.

Hoseok's body is firm and warm against yours. His knee is placed between your thighs and you loop your arms around his neck to get him even closer. Your senses are filled with his cologne, the lingering scent of his shaving cream and shampoo. Hoseok tastes like the champagne he drank and you’re beginning to feel dizzy from it. That or you’re running out of breath.

You whimper rather pathetically, but he doesn’t let up. Not until you push at his shoulder and he has to gather his self-restraint to part from you.

You’re left panting heavily against him, lips swollen and Hoseok exhales before laughing. “I’ve always wanted to do that.”

You grin. “Always?”

“I’ve been in love with you since we were kids. Practically.”

Never would you have thought Hoseok would kiss you against your lockers. It’s another memory you’re making in these walls even after years of graduating. But you’d like a second time to make up for all the others, so you start to tug Hoseok’s tie to get him closer again—

“Hey!”

There’s an ear-splitting shout and the two of you flinch, whirling around to the end of the hall.

“You’re supposed to be in the gymnasium!” Old man Mr. Min is bumbling towards you with a cane, his voice surprisingly still full of power even when he looks like a sack of bones.

“Sorry!” You duck your head and before he can catch you, your hand entwines with Hoseok’s. The two of you dash down the hall as if you were still trouble-making high-schoolers.

Hoseok mutters in complete shock, “He’s still alive?!”

And you laugh, squeezing his hand just a bit tighter.

You return to the reunion and your heart is a bit lighter knowing this time, you don’t have to lie.

#bts fanfic #bts scenario #hoseok fanfic #hoseok scenario #hoseok fluff #hoseok reader insert #hoseok x reader #Jimlings #Anonymous

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dreamsclock · 3 years

Note

Sparrow, do you remember when cc!Ranboo said "you can't sympathise Dream (c!Dream) because you don't see his point of view"?

Your thoughts? =D

i think cc!ranboo amended his point to correct himself from this, right ?? i vaguely remember seeing him talk about it more but considering i am a) lazy and b) too tired to find it, i’m gonna answer this just as a general statement !! :]

under the cut for length

i think this whole statement of not being able to sympathise with c!dream because we lack his perspective is stupid, but also stems from a conversation one person had with cc!dream, where he said people can’t relate As Much to characters who don’t stream perspective: not that we shouldn’t or that it’s impossible, just that it’s hard. which is true in some cases! it’s why a lot of the fandom struggle to sympathise or even humanise him — they can’t see things from his perspective.

but whether WE can or can’t doesn’t change the fact that he has a perspective, and it’s an incredibly human one. the statement “we can’t sympathise with c!dream” because of perspective is dumb because.... people DO sympathise with him. /i/ sympathise with him. a majority of the people on this blog sympathise with him. so obviously there has to be falsehood in that statement, or he’d be a completely unsympathetic character.

so what is it that separates c!dream from being unsympathetic despite the fact we don’t have his perspective? what’s stopping us from viewing him like we would another “unsympathetic” character like, i dunno, umbridge from harry potter? well, for one, there is a difference between seeing things from a character’s perspective and seeing things from c!dream’s point of view. i don’t know if i’m using the right language terms here but this is what i mean—

we don’t get any streams from dream, true. we can’t see inside c!dream’s head, we can’t know his plans or thoughts or feelings, not outside what we’re shown from other people’s perspectives. we don’t have HIS perspective to judge him from. but we DO have his point of view — we do for any and all character. we can pick up context clues about him and watch streams he’s in and put together a story of his journey, we can look at him with all this information and say “this is why he’s acting like this, this is why he’s done these things and, from his point of view, he thinks his actions are completely justified”. we can do that for any character, provided we know enough about them !!

and this, i think, is part of the reason c!dream can still be sympathised with despite us not having his perspective. c!dream’s point of view of the story — losing his home and being painted as the villain until he becomes one, cutting off his friends and attachments and then being tortured in prison — is a human one. it’s a sympathetic one, especially at this point in canon. c!dream isn’t written to be an irredeemably evil character, i don’t think any character is unless they’re badly written (that’s my personal thought at 6am lol don’t hold me to that). even voldemort didn’t start out irredeemable. even voldemort (and by voldemort i mean when he was a student, before the whole ‘killing muggleborns bc i’m a bigoted asshole’ kicked in) can be sympathised with as a traumatised kid who used his powers to keep himself safe. c!dream is redeemable because he’s human, and humans in any capacity in fiction are redeemable (this goes for nonhuman characters too, human doesn’t just mean species wise).

...unless their point of view doesn’t ‘hold up’. for example, we don’t sympathise with umbridge from harry potter because she’s just an asshole. we can SEE things from her POV — she’s a ministry worker trying to work her way up the ranks, she doesn’t like harry potter, she doesn’t like dumbledore, she doesn’t believe voldemort is back — but it isn’t a sympathetic one. she was written as the minor antagonist of that book, and a lot of the time, minor antagonists are treated as irredeemable or are one-dimensional because they’re side characters and the author doesn’t spend as much time on them.

in the smp, no character is only a side character unless they choose to be. in the smp, there is a content creator behind every character creating that character’s story, deciding what other character to align their stories with, deciding the story of their character. we can sympathise with all of them because their point of views hold up and are strong enough that we can say “i don’t agree with this character’s actions but their emotions and thoughts are understandable. from their point of view, their actions were/are justified” without needing their perspective from streaming or from a book series dedicated to their story.

if we only sympathised with characters from their perspective, we’d really only be able to sympathise with the protagonists of fiction. and that would be shit — “you sympathise with ron weasley from harry potter? no you don’t, dumbass, you don’t have his perspective!! you can’t sympathise with him!!” — like, can you imagine??

sympathising with characters lacking perspective is hard. it’s always easier to sympathise with the main character whose thoughts and feelings are broadcasted to the world. but i don’t think it’s impossible — clearly it’s not impossible — to sympathise with others, too.

if we only had c!techno’s perspective, for example, c!tommy would be painted in a much worse light than his character actually is, but he would still be sympathetic. a traumatised teen fighting back against his abuser is still sympathetic, even if he ‘betrays’ c!techno and does stupid things that make you want to shake him. perspective, although very important (especially if the perspective is biased against the character you’re trying to sympathise with, ie. c!tommy’s perspective of c!dream), is not the defining factor of sympathy.

ALSO NOTE: sympathising isn’t synonymous with agreeing with their actions and wanting them to stick with their beliefs / philosophies !!! a lot of people hold the thought that to sympathise with a character means that character being ‘good’ (ie. c!tommy) (i am a c!tommy apologist too which is why i keep bringing him up lol), when that’s not the case. i don’t agree with everything c!tommy has done. i don’t agree with everything c!dream has done. i don’t agree with everything ANY character has done (with the exception of c!tubbo because ily <3 /j) because they’re human and they make mistakes. to only allow yourself to sympathise with ‘good’ characters is a slippery moral slope — and, for fiction, an incredible boring one.

sorry if this was long worded or contradictory! i have a lot of thoughts on this, but to sum everything up: perspective can be important and influential to a huge extent for a majority of people deciding where their sympathies lie, but it’s not the only factor. people DO sympathise with c!dream despite not having his perspective, and i think that, if nothing else, highlights the invalidity of this argument. someone can argue “people can’t” sympathise with c!dream for numerous reasons including this one until you’re blue in the face but at the end of the day ,,, people do, and someone saying you can’t isn’t going to change that.

#hope this made sense :’D #> my asks !!#> my analysis !!

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sapphicsuperheroes · 3 years

Text

Behind the Mask: What Makes Spider-Man?

Just rewatched Spider-Man 2 (2004) and...this movie opens with Peter Parker delivering pizza. He’s late to work and he has to deliver these pizzas on time or he’ll be fired. He goes. He puts on the Spidey suit to move faster. He’s interrupted when he has to save some kids—but he eventually gets there.

And he’s late. He fucked up. He gets fired.

That’s the opening scene.

Obviously the themes of this film are that Peter has to balance his life between being a broke college student and being a superhero. He literally cannot do both because one will always interfere negatively with the other. This is hard for him because obviously, like any other human person, he wants to have a personal life. He wants to be with Mary Jane, and be a good student, and help his Aunt May, and deliver pizza on time. But he can’t. Why? Because even when he gives up the Spider-Man mantle...when he’s nothing more than Peter Parker—a smart, but broke, lazy, unappreciated college student—he still feels the crippling responsibility to save people. Not just people he cares about (like Aunt May + MJ), but everybody. It’s a weight on his shoulders burdened to him the second he was bit by that spider. Not only that, but we see Peter try and save Otto Octavius, the literal villain of the film. This is something I see only on par with Luke Skywalker in Return of the Jedi. Peter talks to Octavius because he wants to save him. He knows that he is being controlled and overrun by his very creation. He doesn’t fight his way out of things, he just wants to help people.

It’s a superhero movie that begins and ends without a fight scene.

And of course, to layer it all with a final touch of frosting—we see all of New York truly appreciate Spider-Man. We see people in the street cheering him on. We see young kids gape at him in awe. We see the people on the train. The people who, despite everything, decide not to expose Peter’s identity because they see him for who he really is. A kid trying his best. He doesn’t have to help the city—he chooses to. And New York respects him for that. Hell, we even see J. Jonah Jameson briefly admit the heroism of Spider-Man. This treatment is the direct opposite to how people treat Peter Parker. The mask itself truly is a symbol beyond him. It represents helping the little people.

Spider-Man is “the friendly neighborhood superhero”. Spider-Verse echoes this with the tagline, “Anyone Can Wear the Mask.” Spider-Man is a universal story of triumph and heroism despite the struggles of reality—choosing to help others when you can. That is the appeal of Spider-Man.

And I gotta be honest. I just don’t think the MCU interpretation of him has really gotten that yet. Their Peter Parker already has everything he needs, really. He’s given a suit, a name, a persona from an outside source. New York in the MCU doesn’t have a Spider-Man—they have an Iron Man Jr. Which, can be fine on its own...if this wasn’t Peter Parker. His relatability is his struggle—with both the superhero life and his regular life. The cool tech is fun in the moment, sure, but it still ultimately rings hollow when you remember who the protagonist is supposed to be. I’m not saying the MCU should carbon copy the Raimi films—in fact, I want them to try and do something new and fun with Peter. But his character—his ideals, his values—must stay the same.

And now, even with the reintroduction of Dafoe’s Goblin and Molina’s Ock—I can’t help but worry that it won’t resonate as well with Holland’s Spidey. These villains are iconic, sure, but their backstories are intricately woven into Maguire’s Spidey. Here, I only fear they’ll be characterless—one off nostalgia bait with no real challenge to Spider-Man as a character.

Spider-Man: Homecoming opens with a montage of Peter Parker’s cell phone video fighting with the Avengers in Civil War. The first scene is him in a car with Tony Stark, being dropped off at home and offered a suit. Peter does little “friendly neighborhood” things in a montage, but his ultimate goal is to return to the Avengers. To be like Tony Stark. To do, bigger better things. Not help the people of New York. Hell, Far From Home isn’t even in New York. In a weird way, it almost makes sense for New York to hate Spider-Man in No Way Home. Why should they care about this kid? Who is he to them? Surely not the Spider-Man we see in Tobey Maguire and even Andrew Garfield’s runs. Who even knows what it’ll be like if the rumours are true and they do appear in the MCU.

But Spider-Man 2? Peter Parker delivering pizza. Getting fired. Working two jobs (one of which is literally selling photos of himself). Being harassed by his landlord for rent. Not having enough money for something as simple as a payphone. Struggling to help his Aunt with her mortgage. Unable to accept money as a kindness. Being late for everything. Washing his own Spider-Man suit in a laundromat. Interacting with the people of New York. Listening to a lady play the Spider-Man theme on a violin. Actually being a person that New Yorkers see and recognize as one of their own.

“He’s just a kid. No older than my son.”

These are little things that make Peter Parker. He may not have much, but he has his dedication to people, even when it feels as if the whole world’s against him. And by gosh, he’ll get you that pizza.

#spider-man #spider-man 2 #raimi trilogy #tobey maguire #mcu #i do like the mcu spidey movies in their own way...they just don't vibe as spiderman for me if you get my gist #spiderman nwh

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lavaflowers · 3 years

Text

✨not all kids with ADHD do poorly at school✨

And here’s why that misconception is harmful:

Many people think that underperforming at school is the biggest symptom and consequence of adhd. While it is an important part and many kids with adhd do struggle at school, there are some people who have adhd but perform well at school.

Truth is, ADHD looks different for every person, and we all display symptoms in a different manner. I may have some symptoms that someone else doesn’t and they may have some symptoms that I don’t. That doesn’t mean they have “more” adhd or that they don’t have adhd. Thinking that there’s one universal symptom or way that adhd should look like only leads to having less people diagnosed, thus, less people are helped with strategies to overcome it. This can only harm and make the person think that they’re imagining it, that there’s something wrong with them, and having other people mock them or not believing them.

Here’s my story:

My little brother got diagnosed with adhd at a very early stage because he had a lot of trouble at school. All his teachers suggested to my parents that they should check him, so they did. When they got his diagnosis confirming that he had it, they immediately got him help. He went to learning therapy everyday, he had a psychologist he saw twice a week, he had a neurologist who gave him proper prescription, schools adapted to his needs, and though he struggled, he had all the tools available to him so he could get better. Now as an adult he’s doing great because he’s had all the help possible. He just started college, and things are going really well for him.

Then there’s me. I’ve always struggled with anxiety, depression, eating disorders and a bunch of other things, but above it all, I’ve always been a straight A student. All my life I displayed a lot of the symptoms of adhd, but since I always did well at school, it was overlooked by my parents and those around me. I’ve had hyperfixations ever since I can remember, causing me to lose track of reality. I become absolutely obsessed with something then lose interest and move on. This also causes me to start really good projects but never finish them. I bite my nails a lot, to the point where my fingers bleed, and as much as I’ve tried to get rid of the habit, I can’t, because it’s something I can’t control. When people talk to me, i often don’t catch what they’re saying because my mind will wander a lot, so I come across as rude. I daydream a lot and zone out, making people think I’m lazy or that I don’t care. I forget so many tasks and things I’m supposed to do, and so many people get mad at me. These are just some of the few symptoms I experience day to day. All of them were always brushed off as a part of childhood, but as an adult, they’re more evident and it’s way harder to deal with them.

While my brother’s adhd affected his academic life, mine affects my personal life, and because it was less evident, I never got proper help. Because of this, I don’t really have the right tools to help me deal with it, and it’s become a much bigger problem than his. Even yesterday, while talking to my mom, she told me that one of her biggest regrets is not getting me diagnosed and helped when I was a child, because now she sees how much I struggle. I’m not the only person who has gone through this, and all I can say is, if you have kids, keep your eyes open for symptoms and believe them if they tell you they’re struggling (I did tell my parents a ton of times I needed help but they never believed me because I was “functional”).

Anyway I’m not a psychologist or a professional, i’m just someone who’s lived through the struggle and this is all based on my experience and personal opinion.

#adhd stuff #living with adhd #struggle #mental health #diagnosis #adhd brain #undiagnosed adhd #adult adhd #actually adhd #anxious #mental health awareness #personal #my story

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savagetrickster · 4 years

Text

Sweet Poison (NSFW) | BNHA

Inspired by @bnhabookclub‘s weekly nsfw prompt in the discord. <3

Prompt: “I’m going to fuck you in front of a mirror so you can watch.”

AU/Trope/Scenario: Coincidental Relationship + (my own) Dance school AU

*coincidental relationship (in this case) = a sexual relationship happening from chance despite being very unlikely

Themes/warnings: 18+, aged-up, explicit content (!), daddy kink, voyeurism, oral sex, mirror sex, dance studio sex, degradation, swearing

If anyone could match her temper and brashness, it would be Bakugou Katsuki.

But that doesn’t mean she got along with him.

It had always been a funny thing for people who grew up with them.

Ever since they were as little as kindergartners in a tots’ dance school, she had always been the person who stood against him whenever he was mean to Izuku.

She was constantly frowning upon on how he treated the other boy and never understood why Izuku would ever want to hang around with someone like him.

Though ironically, it was common to hear their peers commenting about how similar she and Bakugou were.

Dominating.

Hot-headed.

Loud.

Two powerful frictions were what they were. Always rubbing off each other the wrong way.

A stare any longer than a second could become an unwavering match of death glares.

Brushing past each other along the hallway of the same famous dance school they were unfortunate enough to end up in could make even oblivious idiots shiver to the dangerous aura both emitted at the mere brief contact.

A word from one could trigger the other to demand a ‘shut up’ and escalate it to a shouting match colored with so much vulgarity that anyone who heard them would probably need to cleanse their ears, be it with soap or holy water.

They had always rubbed off each other the wrong way, but this was the craziest they’d been.

Who knew that one day this endless rivalry would eventually bring them before a fogged mirror.

She couldn’t really tell how it happened or even why it happened.

An international dance competition she had signed up for was all that she had in mind and staying back at the dance school to practice had been how she spent her nights.

And for the past few nights, her hardwork was executed in a room the administration officer had left unlocked so that she could use it after she was done with her part-time job.

It had never really crossed her mind, or more like she just didn’t care to know that any other students would be taking part in this competition until she arrived at the school on her third night to find the room lighted and occupied.

By none other than Bakugou fucking Katsuki.

Something about him always infuriated her without fail, with a blooming annoyance and irritation which would always make her particularly unforgiving.

It was probably the years after years of conflict that caused this to be built into her system.

Furious clenches between her eyebrows and snarls on her lips were the default face she made around him.

But somehow for reasons she could not comprehend, a strange click in her happened while she argued for the room and he spatted a ‘fuck off’ at her.

Her eyes just had to wander and notice the weirdest things about him while she was fuming.

She’d never really seen him in this state before - maybe she did but just didn’t bother because, in her eyes, he was always the young annoying brat she knew since little and wanted nothing to do with him.

But tonight was different. Being up close and spitting fire at him alone made noticing...anatomical things about him inevitable.

Without his usual oversized tee or singlets, his sweaty sculpted body rippled to every movement.

It was hard to miss the prominent waves of clenches ripping down the taut muscles down his chiseled six-packs to the V-line disappearing below the stretchy waistline of his black sweatpants.

Under his tightened jaw jarring out at her, the noticeable bops of his Adam’s apple were distracting as they exchanged spats of demanding, awful words.

Being in a sports bra and a pair of fitting shorts, she didn’t miss the way his angry red eyes ran over her a couple of times.

Maybe that was it.

Maybe that was why her knees and her palms were pressed into the cool, wooden floor of the dance studio, with her naked arched back accentuating her equally naked ass.

Wanting this but not at all at the same time.

Aroused but angry.

Relishing but spiteful.

Brimming with moans within her rapidly expanding chest but adamantly refusing to give him the satisfaction of hearing a single one of them.

Her eyes burning into the gray bricked wall and her teeth biting down on her lower lips, pushing back any moans or whimpers threatening to respond to the two long, thick fingers inside her weeping cunt.

She could feel his red eyes boring into her, enjoying her struggle to keep herself from making a sound.

Waiting for her to lose her footing and beg him.

Knowing with smugness that he was good. Damn good at what he was doing.

...That even someone who was as intense and stubborn as him would eventually bow down to him once he gained the upper hand, even if it meant needing to shove his cock into her some time soon.

“Feeling good, ain’t ya?” There was a smirk evident in his smug voice. “Admit it, bitch, your fucking pussy is literally soaking me.”

She refused to open her mouth, knowing something would escape if she did.

An actual smirk curled his lips at her silence, tad amused at her loud, tattered breathing.

“Oh wait, what the fuck am I doing anyway?” Bakugou eyed her with an anticipating calculated glint, “Why should I care if you feel good? You don’t deserve anything from me.”

His fingers slipped out, splatters of her slick arousal flickering across the floor. A whine nearly escaped her at the emptiness between her folds.

Clad loosely within his sweatpants, his thigh muscles clenched as he moved to stand on his feet.

“...St-Stop.”

Bakugou paused, his knee he knelt on hovering over the floor as he glanced over with dancing eyes.

“Stop?”

Tongue darting out to lick his fingers clean, Bakugou resisted a groan at the taste in his mouth.

Fuck, how can someone like her taste this...nice?

His eyes lingered on her sopping cunt hungrily as he planted himself behind her ass to marvel at his work.

“...you can’t just leave something half done, bastard.’ Her thighs under her shook.

Leave it to this girl to remain stubborn.

His lips curled wider.

That was something he liked yet hated about her. His feelings toward her had always been an enigma since...forever.

She was intriguing but grated on his nerves. And he was sure that was what she felt about him too.

Seeing her succumb to him had always been a dirty little wet dream he always thought about.

“Yes I can,” A scoff blew through his lips, “and I just fucking did. So deal with it, bitch.”

Today felt like the day to let it all play out.

He made his move to step away, eyes fixed and breath bated for her reaction.

“No wait, please-”

A pleading whimper she fought so hard to hold back interrupted her before she could stop herself.

His Adam’s apple bopped with an elaborate, deep gulp at the broken sound drifting to his ears.

Shit, that sounded so...

Bakugou shuddered to the chill running down his body, down to the tightening pressure in his pants.

Was she finally giving in?

“Please?” His lips parted to a grin. “Please what? Speak up, where did all that bitchiness go?”

Oh, he was definitely still infuriating as always but fuck, she really needed him. Right now. Even if it meant giving in.

Her toes curled. “Don’t go. St-Stay with me.”

Shaky exhale at the sweet crack in her weak, quiet voice, red eyes glimmered with a dangerous keen look, sharpening with an almost feral edge.

Tongue licking his bottom lip sensually, Bakugou tilted his head back and rolled it to his right shoulder in a condescending, lazy manner.

“And you think I’ll oblige to that?” A chuckle huffed out of his mouth as his hands hung heavily in his pockets. “Beg me like a little bitch then.”

An annoyed sigh sifted through her gritted teeth, feeling herself wavering.

And she did.

“Ple...Please fuck me,” Her heated walls quivered with impatience and overwhelming needs.

It was too much.

He was driving her nuts.

She was driving herself nuts.

Everything felt so fucked up tonight, but she didn’t even want to give a damn anymore.

“I-I’ll be your bitch for today.” Her words gasped out of her in a whimpering plea.

A coat of silence echoed after her words.

“Fine.” Amusement cracked the grin on his face wider. “But you gotta call me Daddy. Now, let me hear it.”

Another sigh of annoyance blew through her mouth.

“Da…” Her lips trembled with hesitation.“...Daddy.”

“Good, but I’m not gonna do all the work here.” His eyes glinted. “Sit on your ass and spread your legs, I wanna watch you prep yourself for me.”

Bakugou toed his shoes off and kicked aside before moving to sit against the mirrored wall.

Back slouching against the cool surface, his eyes followed her movement with raw hunger. Meticulous to every detail of her body moving with her.

Her breasts shifting and lightly jiggling to her turning body, their nipples perking at him.

The spread of her legs widening before him as she settled on her butt.

The red blush adorning her cheeks as her hand gingerly reached down to her leaking cunt, prying open her folds with shaky fingers.

What hit him the hardest was the quiet, wavering look in her eyes he’d never thought he would ever see on her face, as if she was feeling...shy around him.

He couldn’t quite believe his own eyes. Shyness and her just did not fit but it was there.

Bizarre, indeed.

...that she could actually feel shy around him.

A guy she bared her teeth at, almost every time she saw him. Like she would rather set herself on fire than have anything to do with him.

Fuck, something about this foreign side of her was so...sexy. He had to fight himself not to palm his erecting cock poking up against his pants.

To add to the sight, the soft moans leaving her parted lips and the soft, wet squelches made by her fingers were killing him.

His red eyes looked even redder with heat and carnal hunger as he watched her reach her other hand up to cup her breast, tugging and rolling her nipple between her fingers.

Familiarity evident in her actions.

Shit. Was this something she’d done a lot alone?

Bakugou stared hard, too caught up by her to realize that his harsh, raspy breathing was giving his arousal away.

Obvious enough to make her smirk.

Lifting her eyes from her working fingers inside her cunt, she met his gaze and felt a strong urge to tease him.

While she was feeling kinda strange and shy about performing her usual masturbation technique for him, she was still her.

A little reign of control was something she could at least do while being submissive to that grinning hot asshole.

“...Are you enjoying my little show, Daddy?” She spoke through her pants. “Do you see how ready I am for you?”

The smirk on her face grew.

Her fingers burrowed inside her slipped out to pry her folds open for his fixated eyes. “Look at how much I’m producing.”

Through her slit, her arousal leaked and spilled over the wooden floor, growing the small puddle under her.

His widened eyes stared back at her, his muscles running down his body rippling and clenching hastily to his harsh breathing.

The choked grunt he was pushing down slipped out of his grasp as a soft whimpering moan, cracking through heavy puffs of his exhale.

“...you little bitch.”

Bakugou sprang forward and planted himself between her legs, arms tensing around her thighs to pull her further apart.

A responsive sharp gasp rushed down to his ears.

His face was down quickly on her weeping slit, his tongue giving her clit a roll before jamming itself between her folds.

Lapping and gulping down her fluid like a thirsty person, a low moan hummed against her as he felt her fingers dig into his hair with a tug.

Watching him from above her rapidly heaving breasts, her eyes glazed over with heat as she watched him taste her with fervor.

Her breath grew louder by the seconds.

“Li-Liking the taste?” Her hand ran over his hair, soft blond locks sifting through her fingers as she caressed his head with soft tugs.

Pulling away slightly, a snort huffed against her cleaned slit as his lips hovered with a smirk.

“Nah, I like it better fucking you with my cock.”

Her breath hitched. “...You can do it now, you know.” She bit her lower lip at the thought.

There was a pause after her words. Like he was mulling over something.

“Very well, get in front of the mirror.” Warm breath of chuckles tickled her skin.

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. “What?”

“If I’m going to do it,” A crooked smirk curled his lips, growling his words hoarsely. “I’m going to fuck you in front of a mirror so you can watch.”

Clenching taut muscle on his back moved with him as he retreated from her parted legs to settle in a kneel on his knees.

This time, it was her time to laugh.

“Never took you for such a kinky bastard.” She got up and slipped past him to the mirror anyway.

“So...” Her hands planted on the mirrored wall as she adjusted her position till her ass was stuck out. “...like this?”

She glanced down at herself and turned her head to gauge his response to her stance-

“I’m fucking sure I’m not the only one.”

Her action came to a halt with a shiver as his warm breath shuddered across her shoulder, feeling his warmth radiate over her back like a coat as he appeared behind her.

“Look at you, already getting it correct.”

His lips pressed to her ear.

“Someone’s excited to feel my cock in her slutty pussy eh,” His words ended in a taunting hiss. “...kinky bitch?”

His arms snapped around her waist, one flying down to cup the conjunction between her thighs with his large hand, immediately greeted by a sharp gasp from her.

The sculpted curls of his bicep rippled to his movement as he shifted her further away from the wall.

To the point that she had to lean her weight on her arms probed against the mirrored wall- her fingers splayed and digging into the surface to support herself.

In this position, her back was arched, accentuating her ass even more. The folds between the widened gap of her thighs stretched out right before his aching, swollen cock ready in his hand.

“I have to give it to you though,” He slathered himself between her stretched folds teasingly, “You’ve done a good job prepping yourself.”

His eyes prodding hers through their reflection drank the sight of her parting lips at his action, the helpless sob feeding the heat within his grip.

“Won’t you look at that.”

A whistle blew through his lips the moment his glance slipped down to admire how thoroughly coated his length was in her slick fluid-

“...So fucking wet for my cock.” -with a hum of satisfaction in his chest.

His red eyes rose to meet her dazed ones again, his hand pausing to prod her with his cock.

That and a stretching grin on his face was his only warning before his hip rutted forward, burrowing his whole length into her in one powerful shove.

She jerked forward from the force with a loud cry, her chest heaving and falling hastily in a drawling breathless moan at the abrupt, dramatic stretch of her cervix.

“...Fuck, your tight little cunt is as bitchy as you.” A strangled grunt rumbled in the chest pressed against her back.

Eyes rolling back in ecstasy, she felt him pull himself back, the vein on his thick, generous girth rubbing deliciously against her melting, throbbing walls as he drew himself to his tip.

A delirious whimper accompanying his movement as she relished in the sinfully sweet friction inside her.

But was quickly interrupted with a sharp cry spiking through her when he slammed back in.

And that started his relentless, powerful pace in her.

Forcing tumbling moans out of her as his powerful thrusts hammered into with strong, rough prods.

His heated red eyes watching her greedily through their reflection as his cock shot inside her at every thrust of his hip.

The muscle curling on his arms clenched and ripped across his skin, along with his rippling body as he hiked her leg up by the crook of his elbow.

His eyes drifted down to where he could see his balls slapping against her folds, his cock disappearing between them in a plundering speed.

The splutters of their mixed fluids from his fierce ruts were clearly visible.

And when he returned his eyes to her face, shit - what he saw nearly made him lose the reign over his own building release.

With the sultry moans dragging through her panting, parted lips, the hazy heat through her fluttering blinks reflected back at him.

Somewhere between the heat of each thrust, they had shifted closer to the mirror, close enough for her nipples to brush across the cool surface at every furious bounce of her breasts.

“Gro-Growing addicted to my cock?” Bakugou managed through his tattered breathing.

She responded to him with trembling whimpers.

“...Clearly.” He remarked mockingly.

Chest pressed flush against her back, his hand slipped up to cup her throat and tilted her head back till the side of her head met his smirking lips.

“Don’t come begging me for more after this,” His low, husky voice breathed into her ear, “...unless you’re ready to permanently call me Daddy, got it?”

Her eyes clenched close at his words.

Oh, fuck.

Along with those stirring words, his cock continued to pound through her between her struggle to form coherent thoughts.

All they did to her was push her closer to the edge.

Her brain felt so heavy and slow, too saturated and hazy in the fast-approaching heat of her orgasm.

She couldn’t take it anymore.

“I-I’m...”

White flashes met her eyes with every rut the thick, bulging girth pushed into her, straining her walls with wide stretches again and again.

This was it.

His smirk widened. “You what?”

She just can’t hold it anymore.

“I...can’t-”

A loud sob wrecking through her throat as her pulsing walls clamped down harshly over his plunging cock, flooding her insides with rich juice of her arousal.

The choked moan dragging through his breathing mingled with her tattered voice.

“Shit,” Bakugou tried to speak, “...you sneaky little slut.”

The tight muscles of his broad back and down to his taut ass rippled and clenched vigorously to his furious thrusts.

The pleasure squeezing his painfully swollen cock was urging him to let go as he continued working his cock through her greedy clutching walls.

“...D-Don’t you dare cum inside me.” Her words fell out of her as she tried to fight through the moans leaving her.

Her weak whimpering moans escaped her one after another in a hasty fashion as her body rocked fast along with his.

A shaky snort left Bakugou.

“...Don’t be so fucking obvious,” he panted over her shoulder, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. “you don’t deserve any of that.”

With that, his movement inside her grew faster. The need for his own release evident in the desperate, wild snaps of his hip, her butt cheeks jiggling to the slams against them.

Until-

“...Shit.”

With a loud throaty grunt, he tore himself out of her at the nick of time, bursting his load all over her the moment his cock was freed.

Staggering on her quivering legs, she turned to watch him throw his head back with a long growl shredding through his throat as he sprayed ropes and ropes of his seeds from his cock.

Her breathing was shaky and heavy as his pumping hand splattered his thick warm cum onto her.

She fixed her heated eyes on him, absorbing the sight of the agonizing pleasure showing on his face greedily into her memory.

Knowing this was probably the last time she would ever see it.

They had always rubbed off each other the wrong way, but this was the craziest they’d been.

But that doesn’t mean she didn’t like it.

#bakugou smut #bnhabookclub #bnha bakugo katsuki #bakugou katsuki #bakugou imagine #mha bakugou #mha smut #katsuki smut #bnha katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugo imagine

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honeypirate · 3 years

Note

Hey! If it's okay with you, could you make something about All Might with a gf who's a little on the chubbier side, and she feels a little bad about it so he tries to make her feel better? Thank you and I hope you have a nice day/ night! ✨🐹

Hey I hope you like this! I kind of went hard because I relate lol but anyway and since it wasn’t specified as hero form all might I went with true form all might.

If anyone is having hard days with body image or otherwise and has no one to talk to, my messages are always open! I will understand and hear you and give you space to feel everything you feel without being judged or mocked! I love you!

❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎

God you hated days like these. Days where you wake up and you’re aware of every little crease and crevice of your skin, where you can’t help but avoid looking at yourself in the mirror. Getting ready for work meant making sure you only looked at your face, putting on clothing you already know looks good and just trusting that it still did, and avoiding the full length mirror in your bedroom and the one in the hallway. You didn’t feel like this always, you just had random bad days, so you didn’t feel like talking about it every time it happened. Most of the people close to you don’t even know you feel like this.

Your quirk was healing related and you worked as a personal on call doctor for heroes and the public, that’s how you met All Might. He came into your office one day for a second opinion on his health issues, which at the time you didn’t know was him, he presented you with facts about the patient and you gave him the same answer as the rest of the experts he asked. He was considering making you his regular doctor, but ultimately he didn’t change his doctor and instead asked you to dinner. Which in a way he did make you his personal doctor when you fell in love with each other…

You got a call from UA and groaned after you hung up, you were already having a tough day when you were called to heal several beautiful and fit heroes already, now you’re going to the school where one of the sexiest heroes the world knew worked. Your self esteem was low as ever, the only thing that makes you move forwards is the chance to see the one man who always cheered you up.

When you get to the school the one person you were hoping to avoid was the one to greet you “hey Midnight, where am I needed” you say through a forced smile. She was an amazing person and you always loved to talk to her whenever you had the chance, but today it was hard to not notice how perfect her body was and how it was shown off with her hero outfit. “Thank you for coming so quickly, Recovery Girl is out for the day so you’re a lifesaver. A couple students got into a fight, it’s not bad enough for a hospital but does require a doctor” you nod and swallow hard as you notice her thighs and flat belly, two parts of you that have extra fat and the ones that you’re struggling with today. You push the thoughts from your mind, suddenly more aware of the tightness of your skirt on your butt and belly.

You head to the restroom after doing your job and look at yourself in the mirror sideways, raising your arm up as you pick yourself apart. “Damn” you whisper before washing your hands and sighing as you open the door.

“Knock knock” you say as you stop in the doorway of his classroom “hey sweetheart!” He says and pushes back from his desk and comes over to you, pulling you into his arms. You should be focused on how good he smells with your face on his neck but you can’t fake it with him. You instead place your forehead on his chest and frown.

He feels that something’s wrong, you’re quiet and not your usual bright self. His hands move up and down your back softly and he kicks his door closed behind you. “Baby what’s wrong?” He asks and you feel your eyes burn as you screw them shut. “Just having a hard day” you voice showing how hard you were forcing yourself not to cry. “Will you tell me about it?” He feels your tears through the front of his shirt, his stomach sinking and his heart breaking. He hates seeing you sad.

“You’ll think that I’m dumb” you whisper, your voice shaking. “Impossible” he says softly and runs his fingers through your hair. You took a deep shaky breath and tilted your head so your mouth wasn’t pressed against him, so he would hear you as you spoke, so you wouldn’t have to say it twice because you’ll know it’ll hurt when you say it.

“I just feel like I take up too much space. I’ve healed many wonderful beautiful heroes today and I can’t stop thinking about how I don’t even compare to them because of how different my body is. I have extra fat and skin on my body, more than others and I feel lesser for that. I feel so ugly and it hurts. I feel like I should apologize for not being better. for not being more fit. For choosing to enjoy food instead of being skinny. And usually I can see that I’m pretty and that’s what hurts the most, thinking and convincing myself that I’ve just been stupid by believing I am enough with this gross body.” your hands pull at your stomach as you talk, you next words barely audible to him “and I’m afraid that you’ll want to leave me for someone with a better body, one with a flat stomach and skinny thighs and butt, that you’ll one day realize that I’m not sexy and fall out of love with me”

He held his breath as you spoke, his hands stopping their movement on your back, his heart breaking for you, it kills him to hear you so completely defeated. He lets out the breath he was holding and pulls you tighter against his chest “y/n, my angel, I’m so sorry you feel like this. Thank you for trusting me and telling me how you’re feeling.” He leans back and takes your cheeks in his hands, wiping your tears from your cheeks and kissing your forehead before looking back into your eyes. “I love your body because you’re in it and I love you.” You feel your heart flutter at his words, your hands coming up to hold his wrists as he holds your cheeks, looking deep into your eyes as he continues “I understand where you’re coming from my love, but fat isn’t a bad thing and your body isn’t all that you are. I know how easy it is to define ourselves based on physical appearance and prioritize that over our other qualities of who we are but as I said, your body isn’t all you are. Body shapes mean nothing in the long run. What does mean the most in the long run is the way you trust me, the way we communicate, the way you wave at every dog you see, the way you tie your hair up on lazy sundays when we cook breakfast together, that little dance you do when we get ice cream, the way you truly care about everyone you meet, and your cheesecake recipe because that has truly changed my life” you chuckle softly and he smiles at you, his thumbs brushing against your cheeks “ and for the record, I love your belly. I think it’s cute and I love to lay my head on it. And your ass and thighs'' he moans “sometimes I can’t stop staring at them because of how much i love them. You are so incredibly sexy, intelligent, and sweet. God baby I could make a list 500 miles long about everything I love about you. Trust me when I say you are exactly what I need and want and love, body and all, Forever”

Tears are falling from your eyes again, sweet happy tears this time, your heart overflowing with love for this man, and feeling so much better, not completely okay but you definitely wouldn’t have many more issues today. “Yagi” you whisper “I love you so much” he kisses your lips softly “to me, you are perfect. I can’t imagine a life without you by my side” you nod gently in his grasp “thank you. I’m so lucky to have you” he shakes his head “I think you have that opposite. I’m definitely the lucky one in this relationship. You always are there for me and you have my back through all my hard days. I will always have your back on your bad days. That’s what partners do. That’s what you do when you truly love someone.” You wrap your arms around his back and he lets go of your cheeks as you bury your face in his neck and hold him tight “how about I cook dinner tonight and we can cuddle and watch a movie” he says as you kiss his neck, “sounds like heaven to me” you whisper and he chuckles “everyday is heaven for me because my partner is an angel” you blush and chuckle “an angel is a fitting partner for the symbol of peace” he chuckles and you pull back to smile up at him “are you feeling better my love?” He asks and you nod “thank you Yagi, you have no idea how much you truly mean to me. I love you so much” he kisses your forehead again as his class door opens and students start to come in. “Call me after your class?” You ask and he nods leaning in to whisper in your ear “I love you y/n. I’ll always be here for you”

You didn’t feel 100%, but you did feel significantly better about yourself. It’s easy to get in your head and think yourself in circles until you feel like you’re gonna die. You felt grateful to have someone you felt safe to talk about things with, even if you convince yourself that you’re just being stupid, it’s a blessing to have someone you can talk to without be afraid that they will judge you or laugh. You felt lighter for sure as you finished out your work day and when you walked inside your apartment you looked at yourself in the mirror at the end of the hall and smiled, truly smiled, as you saw everything that Toshinori loved instead of everything the world doesn’t.

#toshinori yagi fanfiction #toshinori x y/n #toshinori yagi x reader #toshinori yagi x you #toshinori x you #mha yagi #yagi toshinori #toshinori x reader #toshinori yagi x y/n #toshinori x chubby reader #🐹

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twstdreams · 4 years

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I've loved your non-romantic/platonic content that you've done so far! Adding on to that list, could I please request a short story surrounding MC, Ace, and Deuce? An accident occurs which ends in MC turning into a little kid and now it's up to the two boys to put their differences aside and babysit their friend until she's back to normal. Girl pronouns plz! Lol I can only imagine the chaos that would ensue. If you don't feel comfortable with this ask you can skip it! Thx for reading :)

I am always up for platonic content and shenanigans! Long story, so the rest is under the cut!

Warning: Minor spoilers for side stories (briefly alluded to)

Length: ~2.3K

“It’s this one!” Deuce declares with unfounded confidence.

“No, it’s not!” Ace rebuttals despite not making it past page 10 in his textbook.

“It’s mine!” Grimm shouts even though he most definitely does not understand the experiment at hand.

The magicless student can only sigh. Deuce and Ace suck at potions. So when the two bicker about what to add to their cauldron, the prefect doesn’t even blink an eye. Deuce mispronounces an ingredient, Ace corrects him, but neither are even talking about the right thing. She can practically sense Crewel’s glare despite her eyes remaining on the cauldron, cautiously waiting for bubbles to appear so she could add the indigo milk cap mushroom.

What is added next to her cauldron is not the mushroom in her hand but a random root Grimm throws in. In Deuce’s haste to catch the gremlin, he spills over his own cauldron and some of their potion spills into hers.

“What are you doing?” she asks, but it’s too late. The mixture in her cauldron is boiling profusely and suddenly envelopes her in a cloud of smoke.

“Funya! MC, are you okay?” Grim inquires. Deuce and Ace also call out her name but there is no response. When the smoke clears, everyone in the room is left speechless.

The potential beast tamer hasn’t moved but an inch but she’s at least two feet shorter and with rounder cheeks and wide eyes.

“WHAT?” she screeches in disbelief, suddenly too short to even reach the cauldron, “Fix this!”

And this is how the group’s long catastrophic day begins.

Adventure 1: The beginning

“What?!” Grim shouts. If looks could kill, Crewel’s glare would have toasted the monster.

“Yes, it is hard to predict when MC will return to normal because you carelessly threw together that potion. It should wear off in a day, but there’s no guarantee,” the teacher explains through gritted teeth. The bell rings but the quartet barely registers it.

“Go to the headmaster! It’s not my problem anymore,” Crewel declares.

Unfortunately, as most meetings with the headmaster are, the conversation is fruitless.

“Hah? We’re supposed to babysit her?” Ace asks.

“Yes! It’s your fault, is it not? Take care of her until the spell wears off,” Crowley declares.

“Isn’t there any way to break the spell?” Deuce inquires while nervously glancing towards MC.

“It’s hard to tell because you added in unknown amounts of various ingredients,” Crowley answers before muttering, “It takes too much time! I need to know what happens next in my novel.”

“Tch, what a lazy adult,” MC comments with a bored expression. She figured this would happen. She can’t even recall a moment when the headmaster had actually been helpful.

“What did you say?” Crowley demands. Deuce immediately picks up MC and heads for the door.

“Nothing! We’ll take care of her! See you later headmaster!” Ace explains while the two boys dash out of the office. They book it out of the hallway and then set her down on the ground.

“Hey! What was that about? It’s usually Grim saying stuff that gets us in trouble, not you,” Ace comments.

“Don’t tell me…Now she acts like a little kid too?” Deuce wonders.

Adventure 2: Stranger Danger

“Oh? Ramshackle prefect, you seem to be caught in quite the predicament.” MC glares at the Octavinelle dorm leader in return. Ace and Deuce are in the midst of calling Cater and Trey to ask for advice, giving Azul the perfect opportunity to approach her.

“I have an offer for you,” the second year begins.

“No.” MC is firm in her answer and has no intention of making any deals.

“Are you sure? I treat children well,” Azul adds but it only results in her frowning. There’s suddenly a glimmer in her eyes but before Azul can deduce what it means, MC begins shouting.

“STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!”

“Stop that!” Azul insists but his wide eyes give away his flustered state. With a smile that looks a little too much like Chenya’s, MC continues her call for help. Soon enough, Deuce and Ace rush to her side.

“Stranger? That’s Prefect Azul! Have you forgotten him?” Deuce inquires with a look of concern. MC decides this is the perfect time to practice her puppy eyes and simply looks up at Deuce, wide eyes and with a pout.

Azul silently admits defeat as he forms a tight-lipped smile accompanied by some false pleasantries before exiting the area.

“I’m hungry!” she announces before anyone can question her further.

“Yes! Let’s go eat!” Grim agrees.

Adventure 3: Sweet Dreams

Getting lunch is a surprisingly painless affair. Though Night Raven College students could be quite self-centred, even they balked at harming a little girl. MC easily orders her favourites before sitting with her friends, though she has to sit on her knees to be at a comfortable height compared to the table.

“Wow! It’s true!~” Cater chimes while taking a seat at the table.

“How are you feeling?” Trey asks.

“Okay! It’s kinda weird but at least it was easy to get lunch,” she replies while taking a bite of her food.

“Now you really look like my minion!” Grim declares. MC shoots the monster a glare but doesn’t give him a response.

“You’re actually a little kid, huh? So, what do you wanna do when you grow up?” Ace teases.

“I want to control all the ghosts and have an army,” MC answers nonchalantly as if she had been discussing the weather.

“What?” Trey asks, slightly taken aback. Wasn’t this the person who was gullible enough to think that oyster sauce went in tarts?

“A ghost army,” she repeats confidently.

“Anyway! Aren’t you lucky? You get all these handsome guys to help you today!” Cater interjects, not wanting to unpack why the prefect wanted an army of the dead.

Her gaze scans the table before looking up at Cater, eyes wide and expression void of malice, and asks, “Where?”

Grim howls with laughter while the four Heartslabyul students try to recover from the blow to their ego. It’s definitely going to be a long day for them.

Adventure 4: Smiles and stares

“Hey wait!” MC whines. One disadvantage of becoming short is that her stride decreased accordingly, thus her struggles to keep up with her classmate’s pace.

“Just walk faster or we’ll be late for class!” Ace retorts, glancing up ahead to see how far away the next building is.

“AHH!” Ace turns around to see MC a couple of meters behind him face-first in a patch of grass.

“Uwah! Are you okay?” Grim asks while flying above the fallen girl. Ace groans at the predicament. Deuce ran ahead to warn the other teachers of MC’s unfortunate condition so the redhead was the only babysitter at the moment.

The situation only worsens when MC begins to sit up, knees scraped, eyes glistening with tears, brows furrowed, and lips pressed tightly together. Ace’s eyes widen at the sight.

“Please don’t cry,” he mutters under his breath before trying to think about how to soothe kids.

“Oh my, that was quite a fall. You’re okay now though, right?” Jade asks while extending a gloved hand. His face is calm, showing no signs of concerns or worry with only a placid smile to demonstrate any emotion. MC stares at his face, analyzing his expression for a few moments. After finding the answer to her unsaid question, she accepts his hand and quickly sniffles before nodding.

Ace watches in amazement as all signs of pain and panic vanish from her expression. He decides not to question her mood change before ushering the prefect to their next class.

Adventure 5: What came first? The egg or the chicken?

“You have to!” Deuce insists.

“NO!” MC shouts back, sitting firmly on the ground. Deuce is startled by the force of her words but stands his ground.

“It’s for your own good! Kids need exercise!” Or at least that’s what Cater told him before going to light music club.

“You can’t move me an inch!” MC retorts.

“I’m older, you should respect your seniors,” Deuce adds, doing his best to retain some level of patience.

“At least I know where chickens come from!” she rebuttals and Deuce feels at a loss for words. It is certainly not honour student behaviour to yell at a young girl but the first year is at his limits. He came to NRC to learn about magic, not dealing with children!

“Let’s play tag,” Jack suggests. Being the only one with little siblings, he is quickly enlisted to help. While disappointed in Deuce and Ace’s carelessness, he didn’t want to risk MC’s safety by leaving her in their care. Thus making him a reluctant member of the babysitting team.

“Tag?” MC echoes before a bright smile forms on her face. “Can it be teams?”

“Sure,” Jack agrees nonchalantly.

“Jack and I are on the same team! We get to chase Deuce and Ace!” she declares gleefully.

“Huh? I didn’t agree to this,” Ace interjects.

“We need even teams!” MC responds with puffed cheeks.

“Too bad, so sad!” Ace replies without remorse.

“This is our fault Ace. Plus we promised the headmaster to take care of her. As Heartslabyul students and men, we can’t go back on our words!” Deuce declares. Jack’s firm gaze and Deuce’s blazing spirit give little room for negotiation and Ace sighs in defeat. Ace really does hate alchemy class from the bottom of his heart.

Adventure 6: Idiots, all of them

MC closes her eyes and enjoys the breeze while resting. Deuce and Jack had gone to the cafeteria to get drinks for everyone after several rounds of tag while Ace lay on the ground to catch his breath. It was quite entertaining to see the fastest first years engage in a game of tag and even more fun to watch Ace try to avoid his inevitable fate. Agile as he was, Ace couldn’t run fast enough to outdo Jack with his insane stamina and speed. She giggles at the memory.

“Bonjour petite princesse!” Rook looks down at the little girl with a shining smile. Her eyes snap open and follow the source of the cheerful voice.

“Isn’t it delightful to see a new side to your friends? Like escorting someone on their first dance, like watching a lazy lion transform into a beast for the sake of the hunt, like observing night flox bloom under a full moon!” Rook beams but MC merely shrugs in response.

“Yeah but I’ve also seen Ace fall off his broom, Deuce compliment plants, and Jack mistake onions for a chemical leak.”

“Oh? Is it not like having several princes tend to you?” he inquires.

She scrunches her nose in thought before replying, “If my prince got stuck in a tree and I had to go save him.”

“Dear me, and I thought you were une petite princesse mignonne [1]! Perhaps that was a misunderstanding,” Rook remarks though he doesn’t seem displeased with the discovery.

Adventure 7: Mandatory nap

“Let’s go to the infirmary,” Ace suggests, “MC needs a nap and it’s the closest building with beds.”

“I’m the one that needs a nap?” she asks while side-eyeing her tired friend.

“She hasn’t even run for 3 hours,” Jack comments.

“Kids need naps! Plus, who knows what the side-effects of the potion are?” Ace adds, “We shouldn’t take any chances with her health.”

“You do need proper sleep to grow strong!” Deuce concurs.

“Sure, sure,” she concedes. When they arrive at the infirmary, there is no staff in sight. Ace guides her to a bed with an expectant smile.

“Well, go to sleep now!” Ace announces.

“It doesn’t work like that. I’m not sleepy,” she responds.

“Just lie in bed and close your eyes!” Ace insists with a huff.

“Shut up. You’re so noisy,” a voice growls. Leona appears on the other side of a room divider. Jack lets out a sigh, disappointed but not surprised by his dorm leader.

“I was having such a nice nap and now I’m… hah?” His sentence trails off as he eyes the little girl before him.

“Well,” you launch into an explanation of what happened, Leona shooting a judgemental look towards Deuce and Ace midway, before concluding, “It should wear off by the end of the day.”

“Tch, what an annoyance. I’m going back to sleep, don’t be loud,” Leona warns before flopping back onto the bed.

“How do you fall asleep so fast?” MC inquires. Leona glares at her, lips pressed together to form a thin line, but he lets any threats die in his throat.

“It’s nap time. Count sheep like a good herbivore until you fall asleep,” he instructs before turning his back towards the group. More than she’d like to admit, her small body requires rest and what better excuse than this? Besides, it’s not like magical history homework was particularly appealing, so she plops onto the bed to rest.

“I’m exhausted. Taking care of kids is tiring,” Ace says before falling onto another bed.

“It’s been a long day. I’m glad MC is okay, though. Haaah…I’m sleepy,” Deuce murmurs before resting on a different bed. Jack doesn’t comment but quietly begins his homework while keeping watchful eye on the little girl, not that he’d admit it if asked.

Adventure 8: The End. For now, anyway

She stretches after waking up, pleased to find her body back to its normal size. Ace snores lightly, Deuce’s mouth is agape, and Leona is nowhere to be found.

“Are you feeling okay?” Jack asks.

“Yeah, I actually feel pretty good!” Their conversation awakens their friends.

“You’re finally back to normal! I’m relieved,” Deuce interjects.

“You’re a lot of work for a minion, ya know? You’re lucky I’m so great,” Grim comments.

“That was a pain! You owe me big time!” Ace adds. MC shakes her head and wonders if she has the greatest or most chaotic friends.

[1] une petite princesse mignonne = a cute little princess

#writing Rook and Deuce are hard #Rook is so extra #and Deuce's speech pattern is something I'm not used to #hope you enjoy #twisted wonderland #twst #disney twisted wonderland #twst x reader #deuce spade #ace trappola #leona kingscholar #jack howl #rook hunt #cater diamond #trey clover #wow I cannot believe this is 2K

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streetlight11 · 3 years

Text

Ghost Of You

Summary: The fraternal twins were transfer students who happened to join his class. He and his best friend ends up getting close to the twins and they fell for them romantically. One day, the twins came to school with cuts and bruises, making the best friends worry. What happens when the two friends came to pay the twins a visit at their apartment after they were absent for two days, only to receive the most shocking news they've ever heard?

Theme: college au, strangers to lovers

Genre: slight fluff, mild horror [not really], sad

Warning: mentions of death at the end

WC: 2.3k

Pairing: Ju Haknyeon x Fem!Reader

a/n: Hello guys! Here's a little sad little fic for you. I realised I wrote alot of 'as' in this fic💀 Apologies for that, this has been in my google drive since a while back so my writing might not be so good but I tried :')

College life was definitely a challenge as it was a higher level of qualification and many students tend to struggle at first. But it wasn’t the case for Leena and Haknyeon. They were very smart kids who never failed to help each other in their weaker subjects. They have been close friends since high school but never once have they seen each other in a romantic light.

But there were times where their bickering would be similar to those of a couple’s fight and people would often mistake them for one.

Haknyeon is very protective over Leena as he would sometimes baby her even though she wasn’t his biological sister. So when they managed to enter the same college, he felt accomplished as they chose the same course.

Their first few months of school was hectic as the module’s content is pretty heavy and dry but they persevered through it together. They were 7 months in with school when their lecturer entered the class one day only to announce a new arrival of two transfer students.

“Listen up everyone. Starting from today onwards, we have two new students joining us. I hope you will all welcome them warmly and guide them through the lessons in case they can’t keep up.” With that being said, he turned to the door and called for them to come in. Only for two individuals to walk in. One was a male and the other was a female. But what sticks out about them is their resemblance with each other.

“Good morning all. I’m Juyeon.” The male said.

“And I’m Y/N.” The female said.

“We hope you welcome us with open arms.” Juyeon continued.

The class cheered for them as the lecturer told the two new students to sit at the empty table at the very back of the room. Leena couldn’t tear her eyes off Juyeon as Haknyeon had to practically nudge her side to bring her back to reality.

“Yah, stop staring so much, you can practically burn a hole through his head.” Haknyeon said.

Leena scoffed as she turned back to Juyeon, only to see him ruffling Y/N’s hair. “Do you think they’re a couple?” She asked sadly.

“Couple? I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re twins. They literally look like each other.” Haknyeon said as he leaned forward to get a good look at the two new students. Y/N was smiling as she happened to glance around the room, only to lock eyes with Haknyeon. He flinched as he awkwardly pulled back to avoid her gaze, making her giggle in her seat.

“What’s wrong with you, weirdo?” Juyeon whispered as a smile threatened to form on his lips.

“Nothing you should care about.” She smiled as she stuck her tongue out, making him wrap his arms around her neck, bringing her into a quick headlock. After class ended, some of the students came up to Y/N and Juyeon, only to ask the same question Leena asked a few hours ago.

“Are you guys together?”

“How long have you guys dated?”

“Are you dating each other?”

With that, Juyeon and Y/N couldn’t help but laugh as the rest of them got confused. “It would be incest if we dated each other.” Y/N said.

“She’s my twin sister.” Juyeon said.

A series of gasps were heard as Haknyeon raised his brows tauntingly at Leena, knowing his guess was correct. “See? Told you.” He smirked. Leena huffed as she turned to where the twins were seated, only to see his eyes turn into two crescent moons as the corner of his lips curved upwards into a smile.

A few days passed, Leena and Haknyeon didn't really get the chance to properly talk to the twins. They were just seated at one of the tables during lunch when Juyeon spoke up, “Are these seats taken?” Leena looked up only to see Juyeon glancing between Haknyeon and her.

“Nope. Go ahead.” Haknyeon said as he flashed them a wide smile.

They watched as Juyeon took a seat beside Haknyeon while Y/N took a seat beside Leena. The four of them ended up getting to know each other more as they found out that Y/N and Juyeon moved from Jeju to Seoul. Weeks become months, and they grew quite close to each other.

However, it was pretty obvious that Juyeon had started to like Leena and vice versa. Haknyeon also began to fall for Y/N and so did she. It was a rainy evening and Y/N promised to come over and help Haknyeon with his Chemistry assignment. Hence, the reason why she was standing there in front of his apartment door, soaking wet.

“I thought you were going to drive here?” He asked as he let her in, telling her to stay put as he went to get for her a clean towel.

“I wanted to but I forgot to get gas. So Juyeon had to call the tow truck.” She said. Haknyeon came back with a towel and clean clothes for her to change into. She came back out wearing his oversized shirt and ankle high socks to keep her warm. She looked so cozy as he almost wished he could cuddle and kiss her right then and there.

They were just seated on the floor in front of his couch with their laptops on the coffee table, when she asked him if he needed a break. In which he said yes. He was just resting his head on the table, mumbling the chemical equation at the top of his head when he felt her play with his hair. He looked up to see her seated on his couch as she rested her hand at the back of his neck.

“Don’t stress yourself out.” She encouraged him.

Haknyeon sighed as he got up, only to join her on the couch. He rested his head against the couch cushion as he closed his eyes.

Y/N watched him peacefully before she leaned forward to type something on her laptop. Haknyeon opened his eyes when a strong floral scent tickled his nostrils, making him realise that it was coming from her. Never had he smelled someone this good, he almost wanted to bury his nose in it.

Just then, she turned to lock eyes with him, only for his lazy eyes to stare back at her innocently. “Should we call it a day?” She asked.

He knew he needed to study but he couldn’t help but feel like his brain could absorb so much before it exceeds its capacity. He simply nodded as his lips formed a pout, making her giggle. A few minutes after they turned off their laptops and was just barely cuddling on the couch, watching a romcom show, he turned to her to ask a very personal question.

“This might sound… a little absurd, in which I promise I’m not intentionally being rude… but are you, dating anyone at the moment?”

With that, she smiled as she shook her head, making him feel like a whole weight was being lifted off his shoulders. She giggled as she nudged his elbow to tease him as she spoke up.

“Why are you asking?” She said. He began to panic as he struggled to find the right words.

“If it’s hard for you to say it, maybe you can show me?” She said bravely, only for him to stare at her. She smiled at him as she sat there quietly, waiting to see his next move. She wasn’t sure what she would do if he actually doesn’t feel the same for her but for some reason, she had a feeling that the result might come out positive.

His breath was starting to feel heavy as he didn’t want her to get the wrong information. So without further ado, he leaned in only to kiss her on the lips.

She smiled into the kiss as her hands found itself cupping his face gently before moving her lips together with his. His arms slowly snaked around her waist as he pulled her on top of his lap. While this was happening, Juyeon went out with Leena on the same day as he brought her to go watch a movie and also play at the arcade.

Weeks turned to months as the two couples grew stronger bonds as time passed by. One day, both Y/N and Juyeon came to school with a few cuts and bruises on their faces and arms. Both Haknyeon and Leena got worried as they asked what caused the bruises. Juyeon simply told them that they accidentally fell while cycling, only for Leena to scold them and remind them to be more careful next time.

Both Y/N and Juyeon smiled as they nodded to Leena’s warning. A few months later, it was a friday evening and Haknyeon was on the phone with Leena, just discussing some stuff when he brought up a topic that has been lingering in his head for a while.

“Hey Leena, I know this might sound weird… but have you ever wondered why the twins have never once invited us over to their home ever since 4 months back?” Haknyeon spoke up.

Suddenly, the line fell quiet as Leena thought about what to answer.

“I noticed it. But I just thought that maybe they just don’t feel comfortable with having others around that often.” She said. They tried to drop the topic as they ended up talking about the upcoming movie that was coming out in the cinema.

A few days later, Y/N and Juyeon hadn't been coming to class for the past two days. Both Haknyeon and Leena tried to contact them but none of their text messages and calls went through.

“Should we go and visit? Maybe they’re sick or something?” Haknyeon suggested.

Leena nods as she told him they could stop by after class. Once they were there at the twins’ apartment building, they went up to the level, only to stop right in front of their doorstep. Haknyeon wanted to knock on the door when it creaked open slightly. He turned to Leena, only for him to frown.

He carefully pushed the door open further, that’s when he saw the interior of the house.

Everything was covered with white plastics. Every single furniture was covered, it resembled an empty home that was just waiting for someone to buy and own the place. “Did they move house?” He asked as he tried to turn the lights on but there was no electrical flow in the house.

“Maybe they did… but most of their stuff is still here.” She said.

They walked in deeper, using their phone flashlights as their source of light. Just then, Haknyeon noticed the plastic was slightly lifted, leaving a small part of the table in the tv room uncovered.

He walked over to it, only to see two picture frames.

The one on the left was a family photo. The other was a photo of Y/N and Juyeon standing side by side, with wide happy smiles on their faces. “Why didn’t we notice this before?” Haknyeon asked.

“Because this wasn’t here?” Leena said. With that, they went back out of the house and closed the door, only for an elderly lady living in the apartment next door to leave her home. So Haknyeon decided to ask her. “Excuse me, Ma’am. Sorry to bother you, but is there anybody living in this apartment by the names of Y/N and Juyeon?”

“Oh, yes yes. The twins… Oh they were so nice and lovely. They used to live here. Every evening, they would always help me with carrying my groceries.” With that, Leena and Haknyeon turned to each other with a frown as Leena decided to ask.

“What do you mean, used to live here? Did they recently move house?”

“Oh dear, no they didn’t. They both passed away 4 months ago in a tragic car crash. They were in a hit and run situation. The drunk driver collided with the passenger seat of his car. The poor sister died on the spot while her brother died during the ride to the hospital.” Leena and Haknyeon stood there in horror as they stared at the elderly woman, unable to process this information.

It can’t be true. They met them everyday at school. They touched them, they hugged them, they held hands, and it all felt real. This must have been a prank. “Uhh, t-thank you ma’am. We’ll… We’ll be on our way.” Haknyeon excused himself as he quickly went back to his car along with Leena close beside him.

“No, no, no this can’t be right. We saw them everyday… We just saw them 3 days ago!” Leena frowned, her voice slowly rising in fear as her body trembled. Haknyeon reached over to hold her hands to calm her down.

Leena asked if she could stay over at his place, suddenly feeling afraid as she couldn’t trust herself if she was alone for the time being. Leena was just staring into space on Haknyeon’s couch when he came over to her quietly. The moment he sat down, he held his phone in front of her, only to see a news article that was posted online, 4 months ago.

With the headline being;

“Two college students who were believed to be fraternal twins, died in a fatal car crash in a hit and run accident.”

And in the beginning of the paragraph, it states the names of the victims. That’s when Leena couldn’t help but cover her mouth with her hand as she read Y/N and Juyeon’s exact names off the article.

“I can’t believe this…” She whispered as he pulled her into a hug. She cried as he forced his tears back, knowing they have to accept the fact that their friends, but also their lovers, had already left them and that they will never come back as a living human being.

~~~

#the boyz scenarios #the boyz haknyeon #the boyz juhaknyeon #the boyz haknyeon scenarios #the boyz haknyeon imagines #tbz juhaknyeon #tbz juhaknyeon scenarioss #tbz haknyeon scenarios #tbz haknyeon imagines

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bogkeep · 3 years

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hmmmmmmmmmm maybe i’ll write an Introspective Musing Post about my relationship to religion and their depiction in stories because i’ve pondering about this topic lately

so for those who are reading this and DON’T know what’s been going on... there’s this webcomic i fell in love with some years ago, about six years actually, that depicts a post-apocalyptic fantasy/horror adventure set in the nordic countries. it had, and has still, some very uncomfortable flaws regarding racial representation, and the creator has historically not dealt very well with criticism towards it. it’s a whole Thing. my relationship with this comic has fluctuated a lot, since there are a lot of elements in it i DO love and i still feel very nostalgic about, and like idk i felt like i trust my skills in critical thinking enough to keep reading. aaand then the creator went a teensy bit off the deep end created a whole minicomic which is like... a lukewarm social media dystopia where christians are oppressed (and also everyone is a cute bunny, including our lord and saviour jesus christ). which is already tonedeaf enough considering there are religious people who DO get prosecuted for their faith, like, that’s an actual reality for a lot of people - but as far as i can tell, usually not christians. and then there’s an afterword that’s like, “anyway i got recently converted and realized i’m a disgusting human being full of sin who doesn’t deserve redemption but jesus loves me so i’ll be fine!! remember to repent for your sins xoxo” and a bunch of other stuff and IT’S KIND OF REALLY CONCERNING i have, uh, been habitually looking at the reactions to and discussions around this, maybe it’s not very self care of me but there’s a lot of overwhelming things rn and it’s fantastically distracting, yknow? like, overall this situation is fairly reminiscent of the whole jkr thing. creator of a series that is Fairly Beloved, does something hurtful, handles backlash in a weird way, a lot of people start taking distance from Beloved Series or find ways to enjoy it on their own terms, creator later reveals to have been fully radicalized and releases a whole manifesto, and any and all criticism gets framed as harassment and proving them right. of course, one of them is a super rich person with a LOT of media power and a topic that is a lot more destructive in our current zeitgeist, and the other is an independent webcomic creator, so it’s not the same situation. just similar vibez ya feel as a result of this, i have been Thinking. and just this feels like some sort of defeat like god dammit she got me i AM thinking about the topic she wrote about!!! i should dismiss the whole thing!!! but thinking about topics is probably a good thing so hey lets go. me, i’m agnostic. i understand that this is a ‘lazy’ position to take, but it’s what works for me. i simply do not vibe with organized religion, personally. (i had the wikipedia page for ‘chaos magic’ open in a tab for several weeks, if that helps.) i was raised by atheists in a majorly atheist culture. christian atheist, i should specify. norway has been mostly and historically lutheran, and religion has usually been a private and personal thing. it turns out the teacher i had in 7th grade was mormon, but i ONLY found out because he showed up in a tv series discussing religious groups in norway later, and he was honestly one of the best teachers i have ever had - he reignited the whole class’ interest in science, math, and dungeons and dragons. it was a real “wait WHAT” moment for my teenage self. i think i was briefly converted to christianity by my friend when i was like 7, who grew up in a christian family (i visited them a couple times and always forgot they do prayers before dinner. oops!), but like, she ALSO made me believe she was the guardian of a secret magic orb that controls the entire world and if i told anybody the world would burn down in 3 seconds. i only suspected something was off when one day the Orb ran on batteries, and another day the Orb had to be plugged in to charge. in my defense i really wanted to be part of a cool fantasy plot. i had no idea how to be a christian beyond “uuuuh believe in god i guess” so it just faded away on its own. when i met this friend several years later, she was no longer christian. i think every childhood friend of mine who grew up in a christian family, was no longer christian when they grew up. most notably my closest internet friend whose family was catholic - she had several siblings, and each of them took a wildly different path, from hippie treehugger to laveyan satanist or something in that area. (i joined them for a sermon in a church when they visited my town. my phone went off during it because i had forgotten to silence it. oops!) ((i also really liked their mother’s interpretation of purgatory. she explained it as a bath, not fire. i like that.)) i have never had any personal negative experiences with christianity, despite being openly queer/gay/trans. the only time someone has directly told me i’m going to hell was some guy who saw me wearing a hoodie on norway’s constitution day. yeah i still remember that you bastard i’ve sworn to be spiteful about it till the day i die!! i’ve actually had much more insufferable interactions with the obnoxious kind of atheists - like yes yes i agree with you on a lot but that doesn’t diminish your ability to be an absolute hypocrite, it turns out? i remember going to see the movie ‘noah’ with a friend who had recently discovered reddit atheism and it was just really exhausting to discuss it with her. one of these Obnoxious Atheists is my Own Mother. which is a little strange, honestly, because she LOVES visiting churches for the Aesthetic and Architecture. we cannot go anywhere without having to stop by a pretty church to Admire and Explore. I’VE BEEN IN SO MANY CHURCHES FOR AN ATHEIST RAISED NON-CHRISTIAN. i’ve been to the vatican TWICE (i genuinely don’t even know how much of my extended family is christian. up north in the tiny village i come from, i believe my uncle is the churchkeeper, and it’s the only building in the area that did not get burnt down by the the nazis during ww2 - mostly because soldiers needed a place to sleep. still don’t know whether or not said uncle believes or not, because hey, it’s Personal) i think my biggest personal relationship to religion, and christianity specifically, has been academic. yeah, we learned a brief synopsis of world religions at school (and i remember the class used to be called ‘christianity, religion, and ethics’ and got changed to ‘religion, beliefs, and ethics’ which is cool. it was probably a big discourse but i was a teen who didnt care), but also my bachelor degree is in art history, specifically western art history because it’s a vast sprawling topic and they had to distill it as best they could SIGHS. western art history is deeply entangled with the history of the church, and i think the most i’ve ever learnt about christianity is through these classes (one of my professors wrote an article about how jesus can be interpreted as queer which i Deeply Appreciate). i also specifically tried to diversify my academic input by picking classes such as ‘depiction of muslims and jewish people in western medieval art’ and ‘art and religion’ when i was an exchange student in canada, along with 101 classes in anthropology and archaeology. because i think human diversity and culture is very cool and i want to absorb that knowledge as best as i can. i think my exchange semester in canada was the most religiously diverse space have ever been in, to be honest. now as an adult i have more christian friends again, but friends who chose it for themselves, and who practice in ways that sound good and healthy, like a place of solace and community for them. the vast majority of my friends are queer too, yknow?? i’ve known too many people who have seen these identities as fated opposites, but they aren’t, they’re just parts of who people are. it’s like... i genuinely love people having their faiths and beliefs so much. i love people finding that space where they belong and feel safe in. i love people having communities and heritages and connections. i deeply respect and admire opening up that space for faith within any other communities, like... if i’m going to listen to a podcast about scepticism and cults, i am not going to listen to it if it’s just an excuse to bash religion. i think the search for truth needs to be compassionate, always. you can acknowledge that crystals are cool and make people happy AND that multi level marketing schemes are deeply harmful and prey on people in vulnerable situaitons. YOU KNOW???? so now’s when i bring up Apocalypse Comic again. one of the things i really did like about it was, ironically, how it handled religion. in its setting, people have returned to old gods, and their magic drew power from their religion. characters from different regions had different beliefs and sources. in the first arc, they meet the spirit of a lutheran pastor, who ends up helping them with her powers. it was treated as, in the creators own words, ‘just another mythology’. and honestly? i love that. it was one of the nicest depictions i’ve seen of christianity in fiction, and as something that could coexist with other faiths. I Vibe With That. and then, uh, then... bunny dystopia comic. it just... it just straight up tells you christianity is literally the only way to..?? be a good person??? i guess?? i’m still kind of struggling to parse what exactly it wanted to say. the evil social media overlord bird tells you the bible makes you a DANGEROUS FREETHINKER, but the comic also treats rewriting the bible or finding your own way to faith as something,, Bad. The Bible Must Remain Unsullied. Never Criticize The Bible. also, doing good things just for social media clout is bad and selfish. you should do good things so you don’t burn in hell instead. is that the message? it reads a lot like the comic creator already had the idea for the comic, but only got the urge to make it after she was converted and needed to spread the good word. you do you i guess!! i understand that she’s new to this and probably Going Through Something, and this is just a step on her journey. but the absolute self-loathing she described in her afterword... it does not sound good. i’m just some agnostic kid so what do i know, but i do not think that kind of self-flagellating is a kind faith to have for yourself. i might not ever have been properly religious, but you know what i AM familiar with? a brain wired for ocd and intrusive thoughts. for a lot of my life i’ve struggled with my own kind of purity complex. i’ve had this really strange sensitivity for things that felt ‘tainted’. i’ve experienced having to remove more and more words from my vocabulary because they were Bad and i did not want to sully my sentences. it stacked, too - if a word turned out to be an euphemism for something, i could never feel comfortable saying it again. i still struggle a bit with these things, but i have confronted these things within myself. i’ve had to make myself comfortable with imperfection and ‘tainted’ things and accept that these are just, arbitrary categories my mind made up. maybe that’s the reason i can’t do organized religion even if i found one that fit for me - just like diets can trigger disordered eating, i think it would carve some bad brainpaths for me. so yeah i’m worried i guess! i’m worried when people think it’s so good that she finally found the correct faith even if it’s causing all this self-hate. is there really not a better way? or are they just trusting she’ll find it? and yeah it’s none of my concern, it’s like, i worry for jkr too but i do not want her within miles of my trans self thANKS. so like, i DO enjoy media that explores faith and what it means for you. my favourite band is the oh hellos, which DOES draw on faith and the songwriter’s experience with it. because of my religious iliteracy most of it has flown over my head for years and i’m like “oh hey this is gay” and then only later realize it was about god all along Probably. i like what they’ve done with the place. also, stormlight archive - i had NO idea sanderson was mormon, the way he writes his characters, many of whom actively discuss religion and their relationship to it. i love that about the books, honestly. Media That Explores Religion In A Complex And Compassionate Way... we like that i’ve been thinking about my own stories too, and how i might want to explore faith in them. most of my settings are based on magic and it’s like, what role does religion have in a world where gods are real and makes u magic. in sparrow spellcaster’s story, xe creates? summons? an old god - brings them to life out of the idea of them. it’s a story about hubris, mostly. then there’s iphimery, the story where i am actively fleshing out a pantheon. there’s no doubt the gods are real in the fantasy version of iphimery, they are the source of magic and sustain themselves on slivers of humanity in exchange. but in the modern version, where they are mostly forgotten? that’s some room for me to explore, i think. especially the character of timian, who comes from a smaller town and moves to a large and diverse city. in the fantasy story, the guardian deity chooses his sister as a vessel. in the modern setting, that does not happen, and i don’t yet know what does, but i really want timian to be someone who struggles with his identity - his faith, his sexuality, the expectations cast upon him by his hometown... i’m sure it’s a cliché story retold through a million gay characters but i want to do it too okay. i want to see him carve out his own way of existing within the world because i care him and want to see him thrive!!! alrighty i THINK that’s all i wanted to write. thanks if you read all of this, and if you didn’t that’s super cool have a nice day !

#rambles #i wrote this for me and theres no obligation to read it

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depressedkakashihatake · 3 years

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I can't help but wonder how people call Kakashi lazy. He's late often, but meeting Yugao before the Sandaime's funeral explains it's because he's caught dissociating at the memorial. He runs solo missions as well as training team 7. Tsunade worked him harder than anyone to keep up pretence that Konoha were still strong. We saw her send him out immediately he returned from missions, with no rest between. Gai exclaims "even the genius works just as hard," and yet somehow they still call him lazy.

People call Kakashi lazy because they don’t care to actually examine his character and understand that Kakashi is late when he can be.

Kakashi’s not late to missions, mission briefings or anything he deems of vital importance. But Kakashi does have the unfortunateness of being someone who loses track of time when visiting his old friends graves because he gets lost in his thoughts and regrets.

Kakashi’s late to training because it’ll happen regardless of what time he shows up. His mind’s not screaming at him that he has to be on time because whoever he’s training with will wait for him (though we only see him late by hours to training with Team 7. Students he knows will wait for him. We never see this with his Anbu team and i’m likely to belive he never acted like this because as a member of Anbu you’d never know if morning training could be cancelled for a mission. Thus he’d be more likely to be on time)

Also i find a lot of people want to be like ‘awww he picked up Obito’s habits out of respect’ what that’s not what happened at all. He picked up Obito’s excuses and dismissiveness towards being late. But he’s not late just because he woke up late and scrammbled out of bed, or forgot about something important (though they both sometimes are late because they’re helping villagers. we have seen that for them) and he’d not late to everything.

Fandom a lot of the time just either wants to paint Kakashi as useless and lazy (which he’s not) or copying obito out of some sort of respect for him (His way of respecting Obito is trying to make a world he belives Obito would have wanted to live in, not by being late to morning training)

It doesn’t matter that Kakashi has severe depression and often loses track of time because he’s lost in his own thoughts/regrets. It’s just a ‘cute quirk’ that people can make fun of and i really hate it becaus. He it ignores a lot of Kakashi’s personality and struggle. Kakashi has never been ‘lazy’. The closest we get to that is him telling Gai “I don’t do things i don’t HAVE to do”

Kakashi has to train to be a strong shinobi, so he climbs mountains with one hand tied behind his back and does push ups in the hospital when he’s chakra exhausted and supposed to be resting.

Kakashi has to train team 7, so he shows up 3 hours later after losing track of time while visiting obito and Rin, and he focuses on training them properly (when he personally can’t, he finds someone else to train them like the chunin exams where he specificlly chose Ebisu to train Naruto because Ebisu is recognized as a talented and strong jonin teacher)

Kakashi doesn’t do things he doesn’t have to do but that doesn’t make him lazy. It means he values his time and recognizes that often he won’t have a lot of personal time because he’s going out on missions continuously and working non stop so personbal time is precious and to be enjoyed not wasted.

Also, can fandom please recognize that Kakashi was one of Tsunade’s main ninja to use during the time skip and often didn’t have a lot of down time because of all the missions he was sent on. The reason he didn’t keep up with Sakura as much as we would have liked it because he was none stop busy. he didn’t really have time to go out to lunch with his student and continue training her like Asuma does with Ino, because Tsunade was using him for missions constantly.

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purplesurveys · 2 years

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1386

What is in the back seat of your car right now? There are letter-shaped pillows. Used to be in my parents’ room but they donated it so that my car can have pillows if anyone needs to take a nap in it. I think one of my bucket hats may also be in there.

What was the last thing you threw up? A bunch...my dinner, soju, the snacks I had while drinking. Last night was a mess, lol.

Menthol or regular cigarettes? I don’t use cigarettes but I do vape. I always get the watermelon variant.

What is your favorite episode of Friends? Okay, so even though I have access to it since all the seasons are on Crave, I haven’t actually watched the entire series in chronological order from start to finish. *Shock gasp horror* I may finally do it at some point, but so far I’ve only seen a handful of episodes. I laughed really fucking hard at the one where Ross goes on a date and gets stuck in those leather pants, though. < This is LITERALLY my favorite episode - The One With All the Resolutions. It has Phoebe trying to steal a plane, Rachel trying not to gossip, Ross trying something new every day which somehow leads to him struggling with leather fucking pants, Joey learning the guitar, Chandler trying to not make fun of the name Hornswoggle, and Monica taking photos of everyone. Everything was just so well-put together and made for a really funny episode.

Does anyone have any blackmail on you? Probably.

If you could marry any celebrity today who would it be? Delulu-wise, I’d go for Yoongi in a heartbeat hahaha.

Have you been to a strip club? I have never been inside one but I’ve driven past some and the doors are for some reason always open wide, and so I always take a second or two to look at the poles inside and the pink lights and stuff like that haha.

Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? Yeah - my keyboard cover is literally pink.

Are you wearing socks right now? Nah. I could wear socks rn since I’m holed up in our room in Zambales and feeling cozy and all, but I’m too lazy to put them on.

What was the last thing you had to drink? I had cookies and cream milk tea from this local tea place.

What are you wearing right now? Yellow tank top and denim shorts.

Last food you ate? Quattro formaggi pizza and chicken tenders.

Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? Nah, I only occasionally buy new clothes.

When is the last time you ran? I’m not too sure. I don’t run a lot since I spend much of my time at home; and when I do find myself outdoors there’s usually barely any reason for me to start running.

What’s the last sporting event you watched? Does it have to be live? I watched the first hour of Wrestlemania 30 a couple of weeks ago. As for real life, probably a UAAP game back in 2019.

Last person’s house you were in? I didn’t go inside anymore since it had been like 11 PM, but I last drove by Angela’s place to drop her off.

Last movie you saw? I rewatched Steve Jobs last weekend and the screenplay was every bit as spectacular as I last recalled it to be.

Who is the last person you sent a message to on Facebook? Angela. I was just telling her how socially exhausted I am from this trip and that I plan to spend my remaining time here holed up in our room. Extrovert Robyn is OUT, hahaha.

Ever go to camp? No.

Were you an honor roll student in school? My first school doesn’t have one l since they don’t want to encourage competition and all, which honestly makes more sense to me and I’ll always be grateful for that. But in college, yeah I made it all throughout.

Do you like sushi? Fucking love it. It’s probably my top favorite food.

Do you have a tan? My co-workers remarked earlier that I’ve already started to look darker, so yeah it’s safe to say that I do have a tan now.

How old do you want to be when you have kids? 27 is an ideal age but the possibility seems bleak at this point.

Have you ever drank your soda from a straw? I don’t think I have. I barely drink soda in the first place anyway, so.

What is your age? 23, but I’m turning 24 in April.

Are you someone’s best friend? Yes.

What are your siblings’ middle names? Beatrice, Edgardo.

Where is your dad right now? In a cruise ship somewhere in France. He’s coming home next week though! :) What was the last thing you said? “Thanks Gela!” I just asked the owner of the hostel we’re currently staying at for the wifi password and I thanked her after she typed it for me on my laptop.

What color is your watch? I don’t wear watches.

What do you think of when you think of Australia? My aunt and her family who live there.

Ever ridden on a roller coaster? Yeah, once.

Favorite gemstone? Diamond.

Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Drive-thru or just delivery altogether.

Do you have a roommate? Nope. Do you have any bad habits? Yeah, being a hardass perfectionist and overworking are two of them.

What is your favorite number? These days it’s 7.

Do you know anyone named Lori? Nah but this name reminds me of Lori Grimes from The Walking Dead, who I rooted for just because the actress who plays her is really pretty HAHA. Lori is objectively a shitty character, though.

What color is your mom’s hair? Black.

Do you have a dog? Yes and I miss them both so much.

What happened to you in 1993? Like, I was probably a sperm cell back then.

Does your first memory involve your dad? It doesn’t. My mom is in it, though.

Do you remember singing any songs as kids? Yes. I have a couple of videos of younger me singing, too.

When was the last time you went swimming? November. I’ve gone to the beach a couple of times during this trip but I haven’t actually swum. I’m not planning to either; I don’t feel like getting wet and all this weekend. Looking at the sea will suffice for now.

Has your luggage ever gotten lost? No.

Biggest annoyance in your life right this minute? Welp, the power in the hostel came out five minutes ago so we’ve lost the internet connection. There’s also like, zero signal here so I can’t connect to 5G either. Hopefully it comes back soon so I can actually post this survey and look for other ones to take.

Have you ever thought it would be cool to smash a guitar? No. Unless it’s a rock concert and it would be cool to see a guitar getting smashed, this just sounds like a big waste of money overall.

Do you like watching a bonfire? Sure, they’re fun.

Are you allergic to anything? Grass and certain fabrics, yep.

What is one thing you miss about your past? I miss being an associate, hahaha. Being a manager gets really hard sometimes.

Do you ever get flu shots? No.

Favorite shoes that you wear all the time? My Ivy Park sneakers.

What is one thing you’ve learned about life recently? I really need to separate my emotions from work. I take the smallest of mistakes incredibly seriously and personally so it affects the way I approach work more than I would want it to.

Are you jealous of anyone? No.

Is anyone jealous of you? I doubt it.

#survey #surveys

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