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ninefourzerozero · 5 months

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Pokemon Romhack Review: Pokemon Nameless

Nameless was fighting an uphill battle. When I downloaded the game on a whim, I did so half-remembering two things about it: 1.) that it was on several "greatest pokemon rom hacks of all time" lists and 2.) that it was the game the hack maker had created before pokemon mega power, which was held in similiar regard. I was wrong on that second front. In fact, Nameless is the third entry into a trilogy that starts with Mega Power, which then had a prequel in resolute, with Nameless serving as a bridge between the two. This lead to me missing. a Great Deal of context for the story, but all the same I want to start there.

Pokemon Nameless has a lot of text. Or at least, it feels like a lot. It might technically be more accurate to say that Nameless has very very dense text, sporadically. Story segments are very dialogue heavy and, wishing to be as kind as possible to the poor soul who has put their blood sweat and tears into this free project that I did enjoy, the writing is very bad. It's extremely repetitive, it goes in circles, the same information is communicated multiple times, it repeats itself, topics are brought up and reintroduced and rerereintroduced in one conversation, and it's repetitive. More than that, the game makes the classic mistake of conflating something dark happening with something meaningful happening, and while Nameless does have a theme, its the same theme as a million shonen anime. The game starts with our protagonist, Chronya, escaping dangers on a boat with another before the boat is attacked and Chronya washes ashore, trying to put her life together. She immediately meets, is protected by, and forms a paternal bond with some Dudes, who within an hour of playtime have, for the most part, been violoently killed in front of Chronya. The last words of one of these Dudes is that she must fight for others, and Chronya takes this to mean she must be strong enough by herself that she can protect everyone, before we cut 12 years later and take Chronya on a journey to find the surviving father figure who has gone missing, all while learning - say it with me now - the power of friendship.

This is the intent, at least. In practice, a lot of characters thrust themselves into chronya's company and she gives a slight gesture at resistance before becoming their best friend. Many of these characters are incredibly indistinct. They wear dark clothing, have dark hair, and some number of them are ninjas. One was one of the father figures from the prologue, and I only realized it was him when the game pointed it out, to which I wondered "wasn't he killed" and the game replied by not acknowledging it.

You may have noticed I called this the story section and then did not spend much time talking about the actual plot, and that's because it is incredibly difficult to follow. Threads are brought up and dropped with clockwork regularity, some questions are handwaved away (presumably, answered in the related works, but the hack creator stated playing the other installments in this series was not necessary), and the big finale introduces time travel, multiverse bullshit, and an off-hand explanation for who the mysterious killer The Shady is that's shortly thereafter contradicted.

That being said, did say earlier I did ultimately enjoy this game, so why all the nay-saying? Well, truth be told it all starts with that original point of criticism: the dialogue is bad and dumped on you by the truckload. I would not have spent so much time being critical of the plot if I didn't spend so much of my time with Nameless trying to understand the war-and-peace-length dialogue sequences I was presented with. Because as much as I did not care for this game's story, its gameplay was enough to keep me engaged throughout.

The way Pokemon Nameless works is pretty novel. Rather than a gym and a pokemon league, the region of Cyenne has arenas in several towns, where you can either challenge a defender or take on challengers as a defender. Defenders are one big fight, analogous to a gym leader, while defender fights see you take on 3 trainers with weaker pokemon. Clearing a defender makes you a defender of that level, and defending your title allows you to take on the next level of defender. If you level grind, you can clear the entire league in the first town with an arena. It's neat! But the real interesting thing is that all of this is strictly optional.

Rather than HM's, Chronya is an athletic woman who can smash rocks and swim all by herself. However, if you want to push strength rocks, or clear whilrlpools, you'll need Strength Training Lv 2 or Swim Training Lv 2, and the best place to find skill trainers is in the defenders of specific towns. The thing is, you don't need any of these skills. You are more than capable of clearing the game with the base level skills you have at the start of the game, and the leveled up skills just grant you access to side areas. And there's a fair bit of side areas! the map is filled with fun little areas you can find if you have a keen eye and the right skills. Most of these sideareas have worthwhile content too, usually ranging up to legendary pokemon.

And. Ok before I move on with gameplay I do want to really quickly address the elephant in the room. Like I said, to make this system work, Chronya being athletic and muscular makes sense. However, the way this is communicated is that Chronya is, at all times, only wearing a two-peice swimsuit. Other characters frequently comment on Chronya being muscular, and on two occasions, comment on her being naked, for which she retorts "I do a lot of swimming, so I can't wear any outwear!! It'll get wet!!" along with attributing this to the fact that she nearly drowned in the prologue sequence. And like. Sure man but that doesn't explain why she's posed with her feet to camera in the skill screen (pictured above). To be clear, my problem isn't that this is extremely obviously horny. That's fine. I'm bi, and muscular women are hot. But come on man. If you're gonna acknowledge it, own up to it.

Anyway. Diversion aside, the openness does present some design issues in pokemon. Open world design is known to cause issues of level curves in pokemon games, and Nameless is no exception. Generally, you either need to flatten the level curve to account for the player going any of the directions chosen (as in Johto) or you need to set high level Gates to further content (as in Paldea). Nameless, for the most part, choses the former, but makes its intentions plenty known. Each route, boss fight, or story event will have some sort of message before it giving a reccomended level. This isn't a level cap per se, but it does help establish to the open world player which route is good to go down, and which routes are good to turn around from and do some exploration. The experience is ultimately very rewarding, although there is one quirk of design which kinda causes things to fall apart.

So, those arenas. I mentioned that the defense fights consist of fighting some number of weaker trainers, and beating it once levels you up, but you can defend an unlimited number of times. This makes level grinding trivial, since your pokemon are healed between every fight. While doing some exploration is the intended solution to finding a level wall, grinding is an equally valid option that makes it very easy for the player to optimize the fun out of the game. It's extra funny too, since each route with trainers has an NPC on it that you can pay to make all trainers rematch-able, but Why Would You Ever When You Can Do It At the Arenas For Free Forever. This doesn't ruin the experience, but it does mean I can't give this game a gold star for its structure, as much as it is so close to earning it.

And lastly, the most important part of any pokemon game is the pokemon themselves. This game is... kinda strange in this regard actually. There's a good mix of pokemon from gen 1-6, plus some gen 7, 8, and even 9 representatives, but something is distinctly Off. My suspicion is the creator had most of the sprites and game data for pokemon available to him, but none of the signature moves or abilities due to when the game was released. This has the very funny consequence of things like shed skin mimikyu or the strongest water stab for urshifu being Waterfall. That being said, the encounter variety is still very nice and the post-game is packed with legendary encounters. There's even some custom pokemon towards the very very very lategame, so if you give this a try, keep an eye out for that.

That about wraps it up. My final verdict is this: If pokemon Nameless were just its gameplay, it'd be a solid reccomend. However, its gameplay is muddled by a convoluted and poorly written story and the blindingly obvious fact that our player character is essentially naked the whole time. I enjoyed my time with it, and you might too, but if what I've said so far has turned you off of the project, it's probably best to stay away.

#pokemon #pokemon fangames #pokemon rom hack #pokemon nameless #zoe's romhack corner #<- new tag i'm gonna try and make some use out of

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auncyen · 2 years

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Making Yaldabaoth!Igor have dialogue choices when talking to him that are flags for end-game could have been so fun.

I get why they didn't emphasize the Velvet Room more, because the "Igor isn't actually Igor" twist was mostly due to his VA, but I wish they had in some way because there are like...so many little things. The Velvet Room being the Quarantine Cell in the Depths, and how weird it is to have Morgana explain at the start "your thief outfits protect you from distortion" and then reveal "Joker's the most dangerous inmate of Everyone's Palace and he's been wearing a prisoner outfit but No Worries"; Joker having a bond with fake Igor that auto-levels but then the bond just switches over to true Igor; Yaldabaoth... not doing all that much with his takeover of the Velvet Room (for such a dramatic takeover to rig the game he then spends months doing mostly the same thing Igor would do, just More Ominously lol); the realization that Joker's rehabilitation is a "false" one, but otoh...what does a true rehabilitation look like? The game quibbles a lot about if a Change of Heart is brainwashing and doesn’t follow up with most Palace villains post-game. Sae and Futaba both changed for the better, but Futaba was never harming people and Sae’s is largely brushed over with an apology to Futaba, which seems to imply she hadn’t actually caused serious harm in any other cases yet. (I mean, she probably made other apologies off-screen, but it doesn’t seem as serious as “actually forged evidence”.)

Meaningful dialogue choices with Yaldabaoth could have played with all of this. The dialogue choices would probably center around topics like bonds between people/in society, justice, obligations, and rehabilitation. Each choice could either be a hidden flag to not draw attention to it, or he could be a manual confidant with good dialogue choices raising the bond but more subtly than most confidants (read: you don’t get musical note feedback, the bond simply ranks up at the end of the conversation if it went well). In the latter route there would probably be limited opportunities to raise the rank but more than 10, allowing players to make a couple mistakes without being punished. (15 seems like a good number.) The “right” choices emphasize people’s ability to help each other and grow; the “wrong” choices are more self-serving, though if there are the usual three choices there might also be a few choices that read as naive and don’t go over well with Yaldabaoth for that reason.

You have to be at rank 9 by end December if manual / have more positive than negative flags if not, or you’re locked into a bad end. Yaldabaoth has been distorting Joker through the Velvet Room all along and the “Good Deal” ending is no longer a deal; Joker is simply compelled to act as warden for Yaldabaoth’s prison and bring everyone in Tokyo into the ever-growing prison, with the other PT either also becoming distorted or otherwise neutralized.

On the other hand, if Joker has been slowly budging Yaldabaoth’s position through their talks... in the “good”/canon route, Yaldabaoth stopped trying to distort Joker, wanting to instead see if he can truly bring about change. There is probably still a “you failed, I’m destroying everyone” moment, but the tone of the final confrontation would change... and even, possibly, Yaldabaoth stands down? Though the Satanael ending is very cool and makes sense for what Yaldabaoth is based on... If Yaldabaoth can’t be rehabilitated due to his very nature it could also be neat to tie high Yaldabaoth confidant / positive flags to a manual Akechi confidant and make it possible to get Akechi to stand down in his fight instead, keeping him from dying and exploring what rehabilitation would look like for him. (Yaldabaoth’s confidant could tie into Akechi’s fate because of multiple reasons: choices revealing Joker’s morality and character, Yaldabaoth letting slip information about the black mask at a high level, or even a high-confidant-level Yaldabaoth being like “...............................do I have a responsibility to the child I knew was hurting and made a weapon without guidance? Hm. Fuck.”)

#persona 5 #yaldabaoth #ren amamiya

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jerepars · 3 years

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Back again lol. Even though the writing just hasn’t been the best this season, I’m not really that mad about the way they’ve portrayed Jeresa. Just looking at this logically, I feel that they gave us 5x02 as our Jeresa episode early on and there really was a lot of sweet moments. Now, inevitably we had to have angst in between. But it’s been constantly cemented that James is in love with Teresa, and strongly implied that she loves him too. They can’t just build that up and leave it unresolved. Plus, with TV shows in general, a couple being together early on in the series just leaves it open for unnecessary conflict and the ship just loses its intrigue. If they give us the Jeresa ending we’re hoping for then it makes sense to have not got them together any episode earlier than the final 2. And despite everything, I think the writers have been a hell of a lot better than others in keeping their ship alive and not causing a irredeemable issue between them. I probably shouldn’t defend them before seeing the next two episodes, but I am hopeful. All that being said, there most definitely should have been more scenes and dialogue between them. We should’ve had a Tony moment between them (I’m so mad about this, especially since the writers acted like it was such a pivotal part of the season and then only showed Pote’s ‘grief’). I’m very sorry for rambling, just wanted to hear your take.

Oh, yes hello, back again, I see. Your ask made me sigh because I think it opens me up to be honest and critical of this season’s writing, and that kind of opinion may not always be favored around here, and also because it requires a response of essay length. But I’ll do it for you, anon, I will. Okay. So you want my take on the portrayal of Jeresa in season 5. Here we go. After the jump:

Let me preempt this by saying the show isn’t too serious (try and tell me this is still a serious show after the kerfuffle that season 5 has been), so you shouldn’t take this too seriously either. I have an opinion but I’m just…me. I encourage everyone to stick to their guns about what they feel about QOTS; what you like about it, what you love about it, what gets you excited, what you think has been done well, what is worthy of praise, etc. etc. etc. I go in pretty hard on the show in the next several (LOL, yes, really) paragraphs. But I am in no way the ultimate authority on all things QOTS.

I don’t think Jeresa would have unnecessary conflict and I don’t think the good ship Jeresa would lose its intrigue. In lieu of conflict, we’ve gotten…*crickets* nothing. No conversations of real value, no meaningful exchange of ideas, no arguments, nothing. If anything, the conflict between Teresa and James that is necessary had been absent. In seasons 1-3, there were always disagreements between Teresa and James. There was never a point reached where it created too much conflict, or unnecessary conflict. It created tension, which is like the very essence of Jeresa, and it showed the dynamic they have that made so many of us fall hard for Jeresa as our ship, as our OTP. I don’t think making them a couple or having them together early on in the season would create unnecessary conflict. I think it could’ve created different conflict than what we’ve seen before, and wouldn’t that be a beautiful thing, to have seen them evolve and deal with each other in ways we haven’t seen before?

So, related to what I said about different conflict, as far as intrigue goes…I don’t think presenting Jeresa as a couple or in a relationship would ever make them flat or boring. When I think back to season 3, when we got Jeresa in 3x05 and 3x09, I wish we’d been offered the chance to see them succeed and see what happened with them if they tried. Like I said, it’d be a different kind of conflict, a different kind of challenge for them to face and have to face together. That sounds so opposite of lacking intrigue to me, anon. That’s a side of Jeresa I would have loved to see.

You’ve pointed out that, in general, on TV shows, getting a couple together too early usually means doom and gloom and failure for them. One of my favorite shows ever was Veronica Mars, the first two seasons especially. When the showrunner, Rob Thomas, has talked about the first kiss Logan and Veronica have, he refers to it as being earned. For QOTS, and for Jeresa, I really felt that when they shared their first kiss in 3x05. It took so much and they went through so much to get to that moment. It was earned. So, with that idea—of the earned kiss, of the earned get together, of the earned relationship—in mind, to me, there is no point in season 5 that would have been too early for Jeresa.

Talking about TV shows and how they usually go in general leads me to my next point: as a viewer, is that what I want and is that what I should expect, to be given more of what’s typical? Maybe the writers and critics and people much smarter than me will tell me it’s my fault, I’m the fool, for wanting to critically engage in media that’s not meant to be consumed that way. Maybe I’m just supposed to accept and enjoy and be happy with what I’m given. No one claimed this wasn’t going to be typical. So okay. It’s on me. It’s my bad. But here’s the thing. If I’m supposed to accept and enjoy and love this as it is…well, give me something to love. I’m not asking for a revolution or anything life-changing here, just something I can appreciate (and this season, in my opinion, has really lacked things that I can hold on to and appreciate). So as for typical TV…I’m not down with merely accepting that because things usually go a certain way, that’s how they always have to go.

Why do Jeresa have to fail if they got together earlier in the season? Why is it so out of the realm of possibility that they might succeed together? Are they so emotionally stunted, do they lack so much compassion and understanding of each other that it would be impossible for them to listen and move forward together? What if they could discuss their issues, tell each other how they feel, stop hiding, and try? Who says there wouldn’t be angst and tension between them as they try to work through their issues? What if they’re actually supposed to be together and it would make them stronger—individually and as a couple?

Now, forget everything I just said. LOL. Let’s say we have to go by TV in general and typical TV rules. Let’s assume if Jeresa got together early on, then we’d see them struggle and fall apart and break up. Fine. Okay.

Here’s how Jeresa could have played out after the first two episodes:

5x03 banging honeymoon phase, probably

5x04 arguments and frustration with each other as T embraces being the white queen

5x05 J finds out about T’s coke usage and has to walk away from the relationship because he can’t stand to be complicit and stand idly by while she destroys herself

5x06 classic Jeresa angst and tension

5x07 KG’s death leads to T’s breaking point and J is there to support her

5x08 honesty hour, where it’s made clear that these two mean so much to one another and they’re running out of time to let each other know that, so they tell each other

5x09 one last united mission + they hatch the plan to get out and be free + a farewell with the promise and intent to see each other in another life

5x10 reunion in another life

Are these all headcanons? Of course they’re headcanons. Of course I would never expect the show to go exactly how I thought it would or with my own ideas. My point is that if they would’ve gotten together early on and we’d been given a glimpse of what that would be like, even if they failed, it doesn’t mean it would’ve been impossible for them to ever find themselves together again before season’s end.

“There’s not enough time,” the writers said. “It’s an action packed season,” the writers said. Okay. Why? There was enough time to spend on backstory of minor insignificant characters. There was enough time to introduce characters, tell us a bit about them, only to see them dead by the end of the episode. There was enough time to focus on Kote’s story, over multiple episodes, with not just a baby plot but a kidnapping one as well. So why? Why was there no time for Jeresa? Forget about them getting together and kissing and sex. If that was what it was (and it was) they wanted us to not have, then fine. Some of my favorite Jeresa moments were in the first two seasons, when Jeresa getting together was very much not a thing, when tension was high. So if it was just the portrayal of them not being together, if we still got the scenes of tension and them having no choice but to communicate, that would be completely fine. Like I said, I know I’m never going to get exactly what I want, my headcanons are mine, so that’s okay. Oh. But…no. Oh no. There was not even enough time for Jeresa to have more than short, throwaway, blink-and-you’ll-miss it conversations? Well. It’s the writers’ decision. They wanted it that way.

“It’s a Teresa-centric season,” Dailyn claimed. Like I’ve said before, James is a big part of Teresa’s journey and story. If you’re going to have a Teresa-centric season, it’s hard to accomplish that without shedding more light on James and Jeresa. This isn’t a Teresa-centric season. This has become the Kote show. Teresa is the main character but her journey has been pushed aside, diminished, and downplayed in order to make way for Kote ultrasounds and Pote grunting and Kelly Anne thinking “positive” and hopeful that Marcel will come to a party at the safe house. Instead of getting conversations that would offer insight into Teresa’s relationships with those in her family, we got an extended deep dive into the most chemistry-lacking relationship we’ve ever seen on the show. Well. It’s the writers’ decision. They wanted it that way.

“It’s Queen of the South, not Jeresa of the South,” the writers will insist. If by that they mean it’s Kote of the South. Imagine for a second that it actually was a Teresa-centric season but they were adamant about keeping James in this minor capacity. Okay. It would still be different than it is now because we’d be in tune with Teresa. We would’ve gotten a glimpse into her thought process. Was this not, at some point, meant to be a story about a strong woman? I can even extend that question to Kelly Anne. Was this not, at some point, meant to be a story about strong women? Then why do we keep seeing them make asinine decisions? Why are their most extreme actions in reaction to what the men have done?

Moreover, if this show is about the people in the cartel, in Teresa’s inner circle, rather than just the Kote side plot becoming the main plot, there’s no way this is the James we would be getting. James, our beloved reluctant assassin…who we know nothing about. He can’t even get a backstory on a show on which he is supposedly one of the main characters. Five minutes—five seconds—couldn’t even be spared on James and how he came to be who he is, how he got where he is. But Isidro Navarro? By all means, I need to hear his life story. Who’s Isidro Navarro, you ask? Right. Exactly. Apparently we don’t deserve backstory and explanation and conversation and introspection from our protagonists. But a character who is there for ten minutes or less on a single episode and will never be heard from again in any significant manner? Of course he needs his screen time. Well. It’s the writers’ decision. They wanted it that way.

“This is not a romance show,” the makers of season 5 said. Honestly? Fuck that noise. Fuck that sentiment. Fuck that ignorance. When has Jeresa ever been about romance? Where do the people who make this show get off saying something like that as if we are so stupid we don’t know that? A romance story and a love story are not the same thing. Jeresa is love. God forbid Jeresa ever experience love within a successful relationship. God forbid Teresa and James ever become mature enough to use love as strength rather than weakness. But pile on all the Kote. Focus on them and emphasize how Teresa and James can barely even look at each other. Well. It’s the writers’ decision. They wanted it that way.

So now here we are, on the cusp of 5x09. We got a spoiler in the last promo trailer. We know, after 7 episodes since their last conversation that actually meant something, after the writers missed the mark and didn’t have Jeresa interact in a way that was significant and necessary over the course of the season, that there is at least one kiss. They might even have a conversation. They might even share more than one kiss that leads to more (but also, don’t be surprised if we get a mere few seconds of a kiss and nothing more before fade to black). This is going to make us so happy because finally, finally, they’re giving us what we wanted. And then what? What does it mean if those things are true? Is everything forgiven? Is the instant gratification of seeing our ship sail for a scene or two enough? Does it make up for the character assassination of the characters we love? If we somehow get the ending we want, or at least one close to it, is it even believable anymore? Is what has been broken all season so easily fixed?

Listen, I already know the counter argument. I’m going to be told I’m crazy, that Teresa has to be on her own, that it wouldn’t be interesting, that it would diminish the payoff for Teresa and Jeresa in the end. I get it. Typical TV rules, right? We have to go with what people know, what they’re used to. But what have we gotten, really, to preserve these ‘rules’ for TV in general? Teresa has been dumbed down and is now lacking a lot of the intuition and street smarts she had before. She makes bad decision after bad decision and she doesn’t see what’s coming. The actions she takes are in reaction to those bad decisions. James hates so much of what he’s been made to do but for some reason he keeps going along and carrying out Teresa’s orders; he’ll just stew over it quietly in a corner without saying anything. Teresa and James don’t talk to each other, at least not about anything important, and when they do talk, they give each other heart eyes but never scratch the surface—how could they when they talk for like 10 seconds at a time? So. Has this been a good portrayal of Jeresa? You tell me. If it’s fine with everyone else, then I guess it’s fine. I’m probably the wrong person to ask.

#answered #qots #queen of the south #teresa mendoza #james valdez #jeresa #i have opinions they are unpopular #unfollow me block me do what you gotta do #queen of the south season 5

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my-bated-breath · 4 years

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Research Shows that Zutara Would Have Been the Ideal Friends to Lovers Dynamic

(featured below: a very self-indulgent Zutara post that uses Facts and Evidence to be self-indulgent)

When I joined the ATLA fandom, a common trend I've seen used to discredit Zutara was the belief that upon transitioning from a platonic relationship to a romantic one, Zuko and Katara would immediately become The Worst (TM) for each other. It's quite the stretch, and the Zutara fandom nearly unanimously recognizes that. Still, since the attacks have yet to cease even 15 years after the show’s first release, I'd like to add my two-cents on the subject, along with a reference to actual research that is much harder to dismiss.

The reason why Zutara is framed as a “toxic and unhealthy” relationship is that their romance would be a classic example of the enemies-to-lovers trope, a trope which modern media has not been particularly kind to. However, when executed correctly, enemies-to-lovers can produce a healthy and loving relationship, frequently relying on friendship as an intermediate between the “enemy” and “lover” stages in the most well-executed versions of this trope. Meanwhile, the trope of friends-to-lovers is just as popular as enemies-to-lovers, though the specific dynamic required between two individuals to achieve this transition is not well-known. Recognizing this, Laura K. Guerrero and Paul A. Mongeau, both of whom are involved in relationship-related research as professors at Arizona State University, wrote a research paper on how friendships may transition into romantic relationships.

While “On Becoming ‘More Than Friends: The Transition From Friendship to Romantic Relationship” covers a variety of aspects regarding how friends may approach a budding romantic relationship, this meta will focus on the section titled “The Trajectory from Platonic Friendship to Romantic Relationship,” which describes stages of intimacy that are in common between platonic and romantic relationships.

(I am only using this one source for my meta because as much as I love research and argumentative writing, I can only give myself so much more school work before I break. If you wish to see more sources that corroborate the argument from above, refer to the end of this meta at the “Works Cited.”)

According to Guerrero and Mongeau, “...scholars have argued that intimacy is located in different types of interactions, ranging from sexual activity and physical contact to warm, cozy interactions that can occur between friends, family members, and lovers…” Guerrero and Mongeau then reference a relationship model where the initial stages (i.e. perceiving similarities, achieving rapport, and inducing self-disclosure) reflect platonic/romantic intimacy through communication while the latter stages (i.e. role-taking, achieving interpersonal role fit, and achieving dyadic crystallization) often see both individuals as achieving a higher level of intimacy that involves more self-awareness.

Definitions, because some terminology in this quote is field-specific:

_____

Perception of similarity: (similar in background, values, etc.) which contributes to pair rapport

Pair rapport: produces positive emotional and behavioral responses to the partner, promotes effective communication and instills feelings of self-validation

Self-disclosure: a process of communication by which one person reveals information about themselves to another. The information can be descriptive or evaluative and can include thoughts, feelings, aspirations, goals, failures, successes, fears, and dreams, as well as one's likes, dislikes, and favorites.

Role-taking: ability to understand the partner's perspective and empathize with his/her role in the interaction and the relationship

Role-fit: partners assess the extent of their similarities in personality, needs, and roles

Dyadic crystallization: partners become increasingly involved with each other and committed to the relationship and they form an identity as a committed couple

_____

(Source: Quizlet -- not the most reliable source, I know, but once again field-specific terms tend to be ubiquitous in their definitions, and I doubt that this Quizlet can be that inaccurate)

(Additional note: only the first three definitions will be relevant to this meta, but the other definitions are left in for all of you who want to speculate what the next part of this meta, which may or may not be published the following week, will be about.)

Let’s apply what we just learned back to the real Zuko-Katara relationship we see throughout the show. What attributes of healthy and natural friends-to-lovers dynamics may they check off?

Perceiving similarities:

Zuko and Katara share an astounding number of parallels in background and character throughout the show. Both their mothers had sacrificed their lives to save them, and then there are many deliberate parallels drawn between Zuko and Katara’s confrontations in the Day of Black Sun and The Southern Raiders, respectively. Of course, there are more, but since I do not have much to add to this subject, I’ll say that perceiving these similarities helps contribute to…

Pair rapport:

We see three standout examples of this from the show in which Zuko and Katara “make positive emotional and behavioral responses” towards each other: In the Crossroads of Destiny, the Southern Raiders, and Sozin's Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters.

(1) Crossroads of Destiny. Zuko and Katara bond over the loss of their mothers in the Crystal Catacombs, allowing themselves to truly see the other for the first time as well as for them to speak civilly and intimately (is this self-disclosure I see?) with each other. Of course, their conversation (on-screen or off-screen) is meaningful enough for Katara to offer to use the Spirit Oasis water to heal Zuko’s scar.

(2) The Southern Raiders. The journey Zuko and Katara take for her to achieve closure (which is something Zuko himself knew was necessary to heal and grow) is the catalyst for Katara forgiving Zuko. Though there is no true “rapport” in the scene where Katara forgives him, all other banter/conversations (in the Ember Island Players and the ATLA finale) between Katara and Zuko are reliant on the moment she forgives him.

(3) Sozin's Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters. In the finale, Zuko experiences a moment of uncertainty before just before he faces his uncle -- his uncle who had always been there for him since the days of his banishment, his uncle had loved him unconditionally even when Zuko did not know that such love was possible, his uncle who loved him like his own son, his uncle who he betrayed in the Crystal Catacombs, his uncle who turned away when he was encased in crystal, too disappointed to look him in the eye. He tells this to Katara -- and what does Katara say to Zuko in response?

“Then he'll forgive you. He will.”

The dialogue speaks for itself. The positive emotional response, the open communication, and the (rightful) encouragement Katara provides, all without invalidating Zuko’s self-doubt, demonstrates the epitome of pair rapport. Further elaboration would simply be me gushing over their dynamic.

Self-disclosure:

Self-disclosure involves revealing intimate feelings. We’re revisiting the same three episodes that we covered up above since they all include self-disclosure.

(1) The Crossroads of Destiny. When he reaches out in the Crystal Catacombs, Zuko reveals something to Katara that he has never told anyone before, perhaps something he didn’t even want to admit to himself -- in response to “the Fire Nation took my mother away from me” he says “that's something we have in common.” And to say that out loud, to say it to himself and Katara when for three whole years he’s been trying to convince himself that the Fire Nation is good and that his father loves him -- there are no words to describe it. It’s both awe-inspiring and heartbreaking to see that Zuko and Katara’s shared pain is what allowed them to see each other as more than the “face of the enemy,” and it’s something so poignant that it forms an immediately profound connection between the two.

(2) The Southern Raiders. On their way to the Fire Nation communications tower on Whale Tail Island, Katara tells the story of her mother’s death, a story that has haunted her memories for years, looming over her as a ghost, a wound that festers into fear to grief to anger. This was the moment that divided Katara’s life into the Before and the After, the one that forced her to abandon childhood and to become a mother to her own brother (as implied by Sokka in his conversation with Toph in the Runaway). And yet this is the first time we see her tell someone her story in the show, full and vivid as if it happened yesterday. Because even though she mentioned her mother before to Aang, Haru, and Jet in order to sympathize with them -- it’s just that. Sympathizing. This time she tells Zuko about her mother’s death for her own sake rather than for another’s. And it’s an incredibly intimate moment, one that is made even more fragile, wrenching, and beautiful by Zuko’s response -- “Your mother was a brave woman.”

(3) Sozin's Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters. Throughout the second half of season 3, Zuko shares his love and insecurities regarding Iroh to every member of the GAang.

In the Firebending Masters, he mentions to Aang offhandedly -- and perhaps too offhandedly, as if he didn’t want to believe it himself -- that Iroh, Dragon of the West, received his honorary title for killing the last dragon.

An episode later in part one of the Boiling Rock, Zuko talks about his uncle with near constancy. He brews tea for the GAang and (endearingly) tries retelling “Uncle’s favorite tea joke.” He tells Sokka, “Hey, hold on. Not everyone in my family is like that… I meant my uncle. He was more of a father to me. And I really let him down.” He (fails at, adorably) giving advice to Sokka when the rescue mission to the Boiling Rock has begun to look helpless, asking himself “what would Uncle say?” before completely floundering away.

Then, in the Ember Island Players, he shares a sweet moment with Toph, bitterly spitting out that

“...for me, [the play] takes all the mistakes I've made in my life, and shoves them back in my face. My uncle, he's always been on my side, even when things were bad. He was there for me, he taught me so much, and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back. It's my greatest regret, and I may never get to redeem myself.”

Toph, in turn, reveals the thoughtful side to her character, the side that is almost always hidden, telling Zuko that “you have redeemed yourself to your uncle. You don't realize it, but you already have.”

And every one of these moments matter, because we see Zuko’s inner conflict (though this inner conflict does not exist to the extent at which it did at the first half of season 3) and its evolution. First, with Aang, he remains skeptical and disillusioned. Second, with Sokka, his longing for Iroh’s love and presence manifests itself in him imitating his uncle as well as he can. Third, with Toph, he finally admits everything he had been afraid of ever since he saw Iroh’s empty prison cell during the eclipse -- that Iroh is disappointed in him. That Iroh hates him. That Iroh will never accept him again.

And for a moment, with Toph’s encouraging response and Zuko’s resulting little smile, it appears as though Zuko’s internal conflict arc is concluded. But we are wrong -- because in the finale of the show, we are given the true climax and resolution to Zuko’s insecurities, fears, and self-loathing. And who is it that he shares this moment with?

It speaks volumes about Zuko and Katara’s relationship that Katara is the one to comfort Zuko in this scene, in that last moment of hesitation right before he steps inside his uncle’s tent, preparing himself to see his uncle as a completely changed person. As a person who now knows humility and unconditional love. And remember -- selecting Katara to be in this scene is a deliberate narrative choice because ATLA was written by a team of producers and writers, and perhaps even if it wasn’t, it becomes a powerful moment in which Zuko’s arc with Iroh reaches its peak.

Simply having Katara there in this scene already has such a great narrative impact, but then the show gives us some of the most intimate dialogue that Zuko, a naturally closed-off person, delivers (although his emotional outbursts may suggest otherwise, Zuko tends to hide most of his internally conflicting feelings to himself. Hence, he is always able to dramatically monologue about his honor, his country, and his throne -- because he’s trying to convince himself to play a part. But that’s another meta for another day).

Let’s begin by comparing Toph and Zuko’s dialogue with Katara and Zuko’s dialogue because both see the other party validating Zuko’s feelings.

(Warning: the following section plunges deep into the realm of speculation and overanalyzing dialogue. Regarding literature or any media, there are countless ways to interpret the source material, and this is simply one way it could be done.)

_____

Ember Island Players Dialogue:

Toph: Geez, everyone's getting so upset about their characters. Even you seem more down than usual, and that's saying something!

Zuko: You don't get it, it's different for you. You get a muscly version of yourself, taking down ten bad guys at once, and making sassy remarks.

Toph: Yeah, that's pretty great!

Zuko: But for me, it takes all the mistakes I've made in my life, and shoves them back in my face. My uncle, he's always been on my side, even when things were bad. He was there for me, he taught me so much, and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back. It's my greatest regret, and I may never get to redeem myself.

_____

Although Toph and Zuko’s dynamic is one of the most innocent and understanding throughout the show, the conversation begins with Toph joking with a negative connotation -- that “even [Zuko seemed] more down than usual, and that’s saying something!” Thus, the conversation opener is not one that allows for Zuko to easily be emotionally vulnerable, and so he responds bitterly and angrily -- “You don’t get it, it’s different for you” and “...and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back.” By stating that their portrayals in the shows were different, Zuko mentally places a wall between himself and Toph, saying that “[Toph doesn’t] get it.” Then, the rhetorical question Zuko asks himself and the shortness with which he answers the question showcases a forceful and biting tone, indicating that he is covering up his inner turmoil with vehemence. This tendency is something we’ve seen Zuko default to before, whenever he had shouted the oft-mocked “I must restore my honor!” lines in response to a few introspective questions Iroh had asked (though once again, that’s another meta for another day). Now, let’s examine the remainder of their conversation.

_____

Ember Island Players Dialogue Continued:

Toph: You have redeemed yourself to your uncle. You don't realize it, but you already have.

Zuko: How do you know?

Toph: Because I once had a long conversation with the guy, and all he would talk about was you.

Zuko: Really?

Toph: Yeah, and it was kind of annoying.

Zuko: Oh, sorry.

_____

Here we see Toph and Zuko’s conversation take a more serious turn as Toph becomes more sincere. Zuko, however, is still full of self-doubt as he is constantly questioning Toph with “how do you know?” and “really” and “oh, sorry.”

(featured up above: Zuko looking dejected and doubtful.)

Still, the conversation ends on a sweet and inspiring note:

_____

Ember Island Players Dialogue Continued:

Toph: But it was also very sweet. All your uncle wanted was for you to find your own path, and see the light. Now you're here with us. He'd be proud.

_____

Hence, though Zuko and Toph’s conversation displays a heartening and hopeful dynamic, Zuko is ultimately still guarded for the majority of their conversation. Now, let’s look at how Katara approaches Zuko in the Sozin’s Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters.

_____

Sozin’s Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters Dialogue:

Katara: Are you okay?

Zuko: No, I'm not okay. My uncle hates me, I know it. He loved and supported me in every way he could, and I still turned against him. How can I even face him?

Katara: Zuko, you're sorry for what you did, right?

Zuko: More sorry than I've been about anything in my entire life.

_____

In direct contrast to the conversation opener with Toph, Katara begins to engage Zuko with an openly concerned question. And even though Katara never disappointed an Iroh-figure in her life in the way Zuko has, Zuko immediately doesn’t close himself off from her, he doesn’t create a wall that prevents him from revealing his deepest fears to her. During this scene, he neither sounds bitter or angry -- he sounds lost, doubtful, and afraid (perhaps even afraid to hope). This shift in tone is blatant in his voice (thanks to Dante Basco’s line delivery) but even with nothing but the written dialogue, we can note the difference in which he describes his turmoil to Toph and as compared to Katara:

With Toph: “But for me, it takes all the mistakes I've made in my life, and shoves them back in my face. My uncle, he's always been on my side, even when things were bad. He was there for me, he taught me so much, and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back. It's my greatest regret, and I may never get to redeem myself.”

With Katara: “No, I'm not okay. My uncle hates me, I know it. He loved and supported me in every way he could, and I still turned against him. How can I even face him?”

With Katara, the underlying bitterness from his conversation with Toph is toned down to the point of nonexistence, though a part of it is still there. With Toph, Zuko says, “it takes all the mistakes I’ve made in my life, and shoves them back in my face,” which is a rather incensed statement. Meanwhile, by saying, “no, I'm not okay. My uncle hates me, I know it,” Zuko directly addresses his self-loathing without the use of language such as “shoves them back in my face,” the latter of which is reminiscent of how individuals may unthinkingly reveal information in a sudden emotional outburst.

Then, when Katara asks him if he’s sorry for what he did, the words come easily to Zuko, the most easily he admits to his own mistakes after three years of not admitting anything truthful to himself: “More sorry than I've been about anything in my entire life.”

And Katara, just as Toph did, says with the utmost confidence and sincerity, “Then he'll forgive you. He will.”

This moment of affirmation that runs parallel between both dialogues is where Zuko’s responses begin to diverge. Whereas Zuko reacts to Toph with disbelief and doubt, this is how he reacts once he hears Katara’s words:

He takes Katara’s words to heart and accepts them. Because out of all the GAang, Katara is the one who knows the most about forgiving him, who most keenly feels the change he underwent since his betrayal in the catacombs. And so he stands, still nervous but no longer afraid, facing forward towards the future instead of back into his past.

Iroh and Zuko’s relationship is one of the most important ones throughout the entire show, so to see Katara play a pivotal role in a critical point in their dynamic shows just how important Katara’s character is to Zuko (and vice versa, though in here I do touch upon the former in more detail).

Although my analysis on the self-disclosure between Zuko and Katara may have run away from me a bit (due to my love for far-too-in-depth critical analysis), these all show an undeniable bond between Zuko and Katara, displaying a profound friendship rooted in narrative parallels, mutual understanding, and interwoven character arcs. Ultimately, their fulfillment of perceived similarities, pair rapport, and (the one I rambled most on) self-disclosure is what establishes Zuko and Katara as not just a strong platonic bond -- but one that has the potential to transition into a romantic one.

Thus concludes my essay on Zutara’s friendship and its connection with the initial stages of intimacy that are shared between both platonic and romantic bonds. After all that analysis, it would be remiss to simply dismiss the Zutara dynamic as one that would instantly become toxic should they pursue a romantic relationship.

That being said, I will explore the possibility of a romantic relationship between Zuko and Katara and how this connects to the latter stages of intimacy -- role-taking, interpersonal role fit, and dyadic crystallization -- in part 2 of this meta-analysis. Click on the link if you want to read it!

Part 2

Works Cited

(only partially in MLA 8 format because I want to live a little)

Close Relationships: A Sourcebook. By Clyde A. Hendrick & Susan S. Hendrick. Link

“Nonverbal behavior in intimate interactions and intimate relationships.” By P.A Andersen, Laura K. Guerrero, & Susanne M. Jones. Link

“On Becoming ‘More Than Friends’: The Transition From Friendship to Romantic Relationship.” By Laura K. Guerrero & Paul A. Mongeau. Link

The Psychology of Intimacy (The Guilford Series on Personal Relationships). By Karen J. Prager. Link

(If you check some of these links, you may note a few of these sources have been cited quite a few times. With just a bit more research, it appears possible to find a plethora of other sources to corroborate the theory of shared platonic-romantic intimacies.)

Thank you all for reading!

#atla #atla meta #zutara #zutara meta #my bated breath analyzes #research on relationship intimacy #influenced by academic writing #i have more metas coming soon #but until then you can find that i do other writing as well #like fanfiction #check out my fanfiction on the My Writing tab on my blog #please like and reblog to prove Zutara with Facts and Evidence everyone #my bated breath's posts

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something-very-special · 3 years

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Impressions

I know I’m way behind on progression through Replicant (insofar as anybody can be ‘way behind’ in the sense of playing a video game for personal entertainment), buuuut I figured I’d share a few thoughts.

Presently I’m doing sidequest mop-up post-Barren Temple, for reference:

So just to get this overall out of the way, I am legitimately fascinated by the differences between NIER and Replicant. This is something I picked up on when I played RepliCant to grab footage for my LP, but given my extremely limited understanding of Japanese all I could get was the tone between characters and to my unpracticed ear they sounded pretty different. I always assumed that Weiss was somehow even more condescending to Brother and hah hah, wow. Even kind of expecting the dialogue and delivery differences I was not prepared for some of the dialogue and delivery differences. Weiss just straight-up insulting BroNier on the regular, not even doing sarcastic eye-rolls like he does with Papa. I don’t remember the exact line that set me off but somewhere in the Barren Temple I was just laughing my ass off at how much of a dick Weiss is.

Thought the ‘miracles’ conversation in the Junk Heap was interesting, too. I remember Papa Nier telling Weiss to stuff it because ‘those kids need a miracle’ and Weiss kind of backs down-- obviously doesn’t believe it, but he knows better than to push. And Brother tries but Weiss is just not having this optimism bullshit. Little things, but the tenor of the relationship is definitely different.

One of the more interesting aspects early on is the way the Lunar Tear is treated. Obviously I don’t know if this was part of the original game or a script adjustment, but Brother talking about the Tear as a source of money as opposed to Father saying it can grant wishes was interesting. Maybe it was to justify that Kaine just has a whole necklace of the damn things and therefore it’s rare but not literally magic, but it always sounded like it was just meant to be taken as a myth to me anyway. Then again, it’s established in the Grimoire that Brother has a fixation specifically on making money so he can support himself and Yonah (versus Papa Nier, who has obviously already established himself as an adult rather than a kid still figuring things out and hoping that enough money will solve all their problems).

Where the dialogue doesn’t diverge is interesting, too. Mostly I’m talking about the scene after defeating Hook. I always found Papa Nier exclaiming “You’re going to live, Kaine!” and “Yes, we’re friends now!” to be obvious holdovers from a younger protagonist just goddamn hilarious when Papa Nier is saying them. They’re still really funny with Brother Nier but just remembering Papa Nier doing the exact same delivery in his deep, manly voice just re-elevated the whole scene into comedy gold.

All of that is really why I was interested in getting the game so already my money is well spent. But there’s some other stuff:

They butchered the OST! ...or so people keep telling me on Youtube. I admit I do think the re-orchestrations is largely inferior to the original (although there are some that are at least as good in a different way, and whatever they did to The Lost Forest -- which was one of my least favorite tracks in the original -- I really enjoy) but I wouldn’t call it a butchering and I highly suspect that if I didn’t have the eleven years of the original OST and its association within the game itself I wouldn’t bat an eye, it still all sounds great.

Also, a weird observation, but I found that the soundtrack sounds much better coming out of the TV speakers than through headphones. I’m not sure if somehow it was optimized for play through external speakers, or maybe just not hearing the added orchestration right up against my eardrums, but when I went to the Lost Shrine with headphones on I was admittedly disappointed, but going to it again and listening through the TV it worked significantly better.

(I’m not sure if this is necessarily a factor, but the booklet in the White Snow edition mentions that the new soundtrack was all studio mixed rather than having the individual tracks layered. While I don’t think that would have an impact on music quality it almost definitely makes a difference in the way it’s produced.)

I miss chest-thrusting to double jump Movement overall feels much more refined and polished. It’s not as slick as Automata, but it definitely feels like a natural evolution of the original game, and as an apologist for NIER’s combat I can appreciate that. A little more responsive, I appreciate being able to move while casting magic, and it still has a bit of a crunch behind weapon impact (although I wish it felt a bit heavier).

But goodness I miss the stupid animation for double-jumping. I mean sure, an aerial somersault is a classic indication of a double jump, but I just loved that Nier would chest-thrust so hard he would break the laws of physics and ascend higher.

It also feels a bit like the aerial dodge was nerfed for movement purposes? I really don’t feel as much horizontal thrust to get a running start after diving off the Library balcony.

Fully voiced? Fully voiced?! I knew this was happening but I totally forgot until the NPC villagers started talking to me! Some of the incidental deliveries are a bit awkward, but as somebody whose glasses prescription is a decade out of date I appreciate this immensely.

The item guy in Seafront just being from the goddamn Bronx is a thing of beauty.

BroNier does fit into the Village better. One of the little details I love in the game is that each bit of civilization has its own style. The maps aren’t large enough to really convey how long travel takes, but the different styles between the Village and Seafront just kind of helped to ‘place’ the characters in a really neat, subtle way (Emil’s sash identifies him as ‘belonging to’ Seafront, which is actually pertinent when you get that sidequest where you find the letter from his science-mom in town! I assume she always wore a kicky sash when she went to work in the underground child torture bunker.)

Facade obviously also has their own style, but it’s... hard not to appreciate.

Papa Nier’s dress doesn’t really ‘place’ him anywhere, which doesn’t feel weird for the main character, and I feel like it’s implied that he isn’t really from the Village in a meaningful way anyway and kind of drifted in at some point after Yonah had been born. But younger Brother Nier is actually wearing the local fashion and it’s a neat little detail that I didn’t appreciate back when I played PS3 RepliCant. (Probably because I didn’t bother talking to any NPCs what with not being able to read the dialogue, so I never really had him standing next to anybody for long enough to process.) Older Brother Nier takes on a very different outfit that winds up displacing him from the rest of the Village (and any other towns), which is a pretty nice visual metaphor, too.

I have a confession to make. I still enjoy fishing in this game.

Yeah I said it. I’ll say it again too-- I like the fishing minigame. I happily blitzed through the Fisherman’s available Gambits, and then just caught five sharks while I was hanging out, and then also caught the sandfish ahead of time, and also wound up with a half-ton giant catfish (??!?) trying to remember where the black bass are located.

Cart me away.

Related but I laughed far too hard when the fisherman says “the WESTERN beach”. I wonder why they changed that line. I just can’t imagine.

And those seals. Always a delight to go to early Seafront and just plant yourself between a couple of seals. Watch the ocean. Listen to the music and the waves. Watch the seals lazily roll around and make cute seal barks.

The most depressing thing about the timeskip is losing those seals.

My garden--! The gardening timeskip exploit was fixed due to a difference in PS4 architecture. :/ I know there’s still an exploit involving time zones but I didn’t go in knowing that and I was horrified when I adjusted the system clock only to find my crops weren’t growing. Is Legendary Gardener still a trophy? Fffffuuuuu

My BARREN TEMPLE. The Barren Temple is, to me, a legitimately funny dungeon, between Sechs getting himself abducted, Kaine getting herself abducted and Nier and Weiss just sighing in resignation, and the whole concept of the rules-based challenges. And the adjustment they made to the Prince’s dialogue before you meet him is so good-- the original felt a little disjointed and felt like it ended with the Prince being confused. It was still funny, but here Weiss just gives zero fucks about insulting the Prince (and presumably knows that’s exactly who he’s talking to) and it’s just great.

And I say all of that because I just died laughing when I got to the infamous Racing Wolf room and saw they outlawed evasion.

Evasion works differently in this game anyway so you wouldn’t have really been able to do the same trick before (dodge roll; in the original release you would dodge roll forward by tapping the button, but a default evasion has you backstep. Of course you could arrange BroNier to face away from the trap and then evade, but it would be significantly dicier, and I feel like the pattern on the shots was awkward enough that you wouldn’t have an opening in the second row (and probably would’ve have dodged your ass right into the bullets anyway). But just that they acknowledged the trick and then flipped you off with it was amazing. Aggravating? My amusement far outweighed my frustration since the Defend trick was still solid.

It also felt like more rooms outlawed jumping? That I can’t corroborate (I was really focusing on whether they did something to Racing Wolf, which is of course the most traumatic of the rooms) but I feel like it wasn’t as easy to cheese some of those rooms as it had been previously.

Dark Blast is amazing. Cheesed the shit out of the actual ‘Evasive Mouse’ room, though. I remember having some difficulties when the miniboss shows up since you can’t dodge out of the way of his lava pillar attack, but I just circle-strafed with Dark Blast and he died comically quickly.

This is actually more relevant to the magic as a whole, but in the time since I first played NIER (so... probably the time I fifth played NIER) I learned more about the little intracacies of the magic system. Like, really little intricacies, like how you can use magic with just a button tap and it actually has different effects... like Dark Blast dealing significantly more damage. It’s not as easy as just holding down the button and getting the multi-shot off the charge, but for a single enemy like that just rapid-fire tapping the button chews through the lifebar.

This tap strategy is really appreciated for Dark Hand (forward thrust punch) and Dark Lance (which is even better thanks to the game’s lock-assist-- a much appreciated quality-of-life adjustment), and I look forward to getting Dark Execution because of its fast activation feature (spreading the lances in a forward cone in front of you, extremely useful for crowd control when you can’t afford to wait for Execution to charge up).

Fragile Delivery still sucks. I don’t know why I had such a terrible time with the first Fragile Delivery but I broke that... Ming vase or whatever you’re delivering half a dozen times. Send that guy a steel rug instead, Guard #3, he is not worth whatever piece of art you had me destroy six times.

And the game still holds up. This is probably a ‘needless to say’ thing but yeah, this is still a great game. I always have a little bit of apprehension going back to something I loved just in case there’s a rose-colored effect going on. Not that I really expected that to happen with this game (I’ve played NIER recently enough that I didn’t think nostalgia would blind me) but, you know, always a possibility.

(That and that the remaster would be... perhaps of dubious quality. It happens.)

Nope! Still engaging. Still charming. I’m always impressed to go back to this game with all the knowledge of its inevitable misery and remember that it’s also just plain funny. NIER is one of those games that’s just like I remember it but better every time I go back to it.

I’m so glad that Automata did well enough to spur greater interest in this game. It really didn’t get the chance it deserved back in 2010 and now it’s topping some of the sales charts. That’s fantastic.

Just... fantastic.

#NIER #NieR Replicant #Musings #Now I just need Threads of Fate remastered and my life is complete #SE don't do that I know you'll ruin it

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hopevalley · 3 years

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Season 8, Episode 9: Pre-Wedding Jitters

Y’all know what’s wild? The season is coming to a close! I feel like we just got started with Season 8, and it’s already nearly over. I’m not ready for things to end...except the love triangle. Lol.

One important thing I want to talk about, before we move on to my regularly scheduled episode write-up, of course, is the quality of the writing and filming this season. I really feel like the team took a step back and thought very carefully about how to improve the show, and then they went through the effort of actively trying to improve things.

Are there still badly-written areas of the show? Absolutely. Are there things I loathe seeing? Yes. Are there plotlines that are extremely contrived even by Hallmark standards? Unfortunately there are.

But I don’t think anyone can deny that the writing this season is, overall, an improvement over Seasons 5, 6, and 7. The only thing that I feel about S8 that is worse than 5/6/7 is the love triangle, but it had to come to a head eventually so it was always going to be a point of contention among the fans.

I’ve seen a ton of negativity going around the Internet, and you are all entitled to your opinions, but let’s hold back from being too angry until we see how things will work out. After all, there is a chance, however small, that Hallmark will end up surprising us.

So here’s to hoping that the writing quality uptick will continue as we move into Season 9.

And now, our plotlines from this episode:

The Dilapidated Love Triangle

The Wedding Planning/Party

The New & Improved Henry Gowen

Miscellaneous (Car Investigation, pastor position/Jesse and Clara + Cafe, Carson and Faith, Mike and Fiona)

This was another episode that felt pretty smooth in its storytelling; it had some smaller plots going on, but two primarily large plots, a smaller one that revolved around Henry, and then a few small (connected) plots from previous episodes/that overarched the whole season!

Sorry for the muddle by the way, it took me hours to type this and I’m too tired to read it over thoroughly before posting. If you see any glaring issues please let me know so I can fix them, though!

The Dilapidated Love Triangle

Let’s just get the pig slop out of the way, shall we? I think we are all in some sort of agreement by now that we’re tired of the triangle and just want to see it resolved as soon as possible so that we can get on with our lives and invest our interests in the right place(s).

I also believe most of us are also in some kind of agreement, however we feel about the characters, the triangle, and who Elizabeth’s choice should be, that this thing has been very poorly paced. This sentiment seems to be echoed across the Internet right now. The pacing is AWFUL. After two years of almost nothing happening, now we’re going to bullrush to the end of the triangle? That’s a yikes from me, Chief. (Wait, didn’t I say that last week, too?)

I was never a fan of the narrated beginnings of episodes. I think they’re really tacky and boring. That said, there’s no other way to get into Elizaeth’s head easily because...I don’t know. Either Erin isn’t that skilled or the director doesn’t know how to direct her, or the script sucks. They struggle SO MUCH with show-don’t-tell that they have to resort to telling...which is fine, sometimes. This is an instance where telling is just mega redundant since she says the same exact thing probably 10 more times in the episode. I wish they’d have just kept the first part of the reflection or focused more on that—how Nathan talking about it...makes it feel fresh and raw again in a way she didn’t expect.

Anyway, Elizabeth writing that she’s been “left to reflect, once more, on the senseless accident that took [Jack’s] life” is ridiculous. Senseless? He was in charge of the training mission, but unless I’m losing every last marble I’ve ever had, wasn’t it Jack’s choice to go after the younger recruits who had been separated? Wasn’t it thanks to Jack’s quick thinking and intervention that only one person lost his life that day (Jack himself)?

This is where the whole “Jack died heroically” thing kind of matters, actually. Especially when you butt it up against Nathan being the original person intended to go. Would he have risked his life like that? We’ll never know, but I’m sure Nathan thinks about it a lot, and it’s not something that should be left out of this story.

It’s valid for Elizabeth to wonder why Nathan kept the Secret hidden from her for almost three years, but what is really troublesome is the weird shift she seems to have between Casual Curiosity and Stricken Grief about it.

I grew tired of mopey Elizabeth in S4 and 5, so I’m not happy to see her back. Fewer eye drops, please. -_-

Anyway, it almost felt like a breakthrough when Elizabeth asked Rosemary why she thought Nathan took so long to tell her about Fort Clay, but Rosemary’s response was so bad. “He didn’t think it was important enough.” WHAT? WHO WOULD SAY THAT? Rosemary can be a bit thick-headed but that was almost too contrived for me to willingly follow. Anyone with a brain would realize it was IMPORTANT and THAT WAS WHY IT WAS A SECRET.

And when Elizabeth’s like, “Not important enough?” BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY IT IS IMPORTANT... Rosemary just tells her that Jack’s death wasn’t Nathan’s fault.

Which. She’s right. But that doesn’t make the secret unimportant. It’s still kind of a big deal. He’s confessed to being in love with Elizabeth multiple times now. Even Rosemary can’t be so dumb that she doesn’t realize that the connection between Jack’s death and Nathan is...meaningful, especially to Elizabeth. And that Nathan knew this and couldn’t bring himself to tell her because he knew it would hurt her.

Anyway, I’m doing my best to give Elizabeth a bit of grace here, because she’s just so self-centered I almost can’t stand it. To be clear, Elizabeth has ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS. It’s just that usually the issues at hand aren’t about her, they’re about someone else.

Rosemary’s right but what she said was straight-up stupid. I don’t know, I don’t think the characters are out of character so much as the dialogue just didn’t flow very naturally and I felt like the characters were making assumption jumps to force certain responses. If Elizabeth can’t agree with Rosemary that Jack’s death isn’t Nathan’s fault, then she should have expressed that a bit more directly so that Rosemary could draw the conclusion that Elizabeth does feel it’s Nathan’s fault. It came across like Rosemary was speaking to the audience more than to Elizabeth, and I didn’t like it.

The most delightful scene in the entire episode has to go to Allie and Lucas. That was so cute and wholesome and good. Her asking if she could sit at the bar, him offering her a treat, her trying to return the gift ‘cause she felt caught in the middle and like it wasn’t fair to accept it... SO GOOD. They remembered the gift multiple episodes later AND incorporated it into this episode flawlessly. LOVED IT.

Also, she asked an important question. LUCAS...where DO YOU LIVE?!

His story was a bit silly but I actually enjoyed it. It gives him a more playful vibe and also I think was almost entirely to ensure that Allie felt more comfortable and less anxious about what was happening around her. It was also his way of reassuring her that him courting Elizabeth wasn’t going to take Elizabeth out of Allie’s life...and that things will be okay.

I enjoyed it.

Things were a bit awkward with Elizabeth and Allie but they felt...better than before, so I felt like the conversation helped.

Lucas calling Allie “Allie Grant” was nice now that her adoption is official! I appreciate that.

Elizabeth and Lucas talk about how Lucas told Allie he’ll “work things out” with Nathan and Elizabeth definitely doesn’t appreciate it, and with somewhat good reason: she doesn’t like being caught in the middle of things any more than Allie does.

The thing is...she has had the power...all this time...to tell Nathan straight-up to leave her alone/that she isn’t interested. I stand by what I said before, that she shouldn’t have to tell him no for him to respect the boundaries she’s set, but if he’s not respecting those boundaries she needs to be firm about it.

I like how Lucas comes off in this scene. He wants to understand, he listens, he’s patient, he doesn’t push. I’m here for it.

She tells him what Nathan told her and he seems a bit overwhelmed by it, too. It’s pretty clear that he realizes she must be feeling all kinds of things after finding that out, especially after all this time.

Again, for the second time, Elizabeth doesn’t seem all that grief-stricken about the secret being kept from her for so long: she tells Lucas she just doesn’t understand how he could keep it from her.

He asks permission to suss out an answer and Elizabeth politely declines and says she’ll ask herself, but to please forgive her, she needs some time to...think.

She watches Lucas go and then...touches her wedding band.

Nathan meets Rosemary in the library and goes on a long boring monologue about how he’s read like, three whole books that women wrote, but still doesn’t understand women. No shit, sherlock. That was terrible writing...just straight up bad writing.

But I’m not exactly surprised because the very next thing that happens is that Rosemary tells Nathan...she’s been in his eXACT position before!

No...you have not. Yes, you were the unwanted third wheel, but that’s where the similarities ended, and you should have clarified. This just didn’t hit well for me, I don’t know. I don’t want to say it’s out of character, but...I don’t think Rosemary is this soft gentle personality anyway. I feel like she was always a bit more in your face with the things she said, not “try to encourage a manner of action in a very roundabout way” like she is in this episode. But again, without a logic jump from Rosemary, this scene doesn’t quite work.

I think I might have preferred Rosemary to play dumb and ask what specifically he didn’t understand about women. Make him freakin’ say it. And then she could react better.

We get Love Confession #3 or whatever we’re on with Nathan, now. Let’s go over the entire scene.

Elizabeth walks into Nathan’s office and instantly asks him why it took him so long to tell her what happened.

He says he felt guilty and when she tells him she doesn’t understand, he goes on to say that after the accident he requested a transfer to Hope Valley. He never met Jack but he knew he’d left behind a wife and child, and felt it was his responsibility to look after them and protect them.

She asks why he would assume that, and he explains that he felt it was his duty. And that when he found himself falling in love with her, he felt like he was betraying Jack and his memory. That’s why he didn’t tell her.

He then takes it ONE STEP TOO FAR and says, “I fell in love with you, and I think that love is always worth fighting for.”

Elizabeth says “Excuse me,” and leaves. Nathan’s face afterward is maybe a decent mix of “I probably shouldn’t have said that” and regret, but...woof.

Anyway, I was fine with this up to the point where Nathan said, completely unprompted, that love is always worth fighting for. How does he know? What are his experiences with love? Books he read, written by men??? PLEASE.

READ PRIDE & PREJUDICE U SWINE... ELIZABETH FALLS IN LOVE WITH MR. DARCY BECAUSE HE DECIDES HE WANTS TO CHANGE AND BE A BETTER MAN AND THEN DOES SOOOOOOOOO oh wait this is turning into an Elizabeth/Henry argument...OOPS?

Anyway, yeah. Not a fan of that line. It almost feels like there’s something missing. She’s standing in front of him about to cry because she feels hurt that he didn’t tell her this, you know, crucial information, and he’s just like “Yeah I didn’t tell u cause I love you and felt like i was betraying jack’s memory and also lol love is worth fighting for babe!” What kind of confusing mess of babble is this?

Honestly, it just left a bad taste in my mouth. :( I have so many really obnoxious opinions about Nathan and what they’ve done with him this season, but I feel like I should save them for a season summary podcast or something, just in case Hallmark ends up surprising me. Right now I just feel like they really just wanted to give him what the fans hated about him (he wasn’t passionate enough, not manly enough, not forward enough with his emotions, at least from what I read on Reddit and Instagram last year), but in like THE WORST POSSIBLE WAYS and for the wORST POSSIBLE REASONS in the VERY WORST SCENARIO.

I feared that would be Nathan’s reason for coming to town from the moment the character was announced and...I wanted to be wrong.

Anyway, I really liked his self-awareness up to that point. He never met Jack, which keeps some of the weirdness at bay. Also, he felt like he needed to make sure Jack’s family was okay, and that’s fine. I wouldn’t call it noble (as Rosemary later does), but it’s not exactly bad, either. Then we got the line of him admitting that it felt kind of bad to fall in love with her. I wish he’d gone on to say that wasn’t supposed to happen, or even given her a reason he loves her (so that it doesn’t feel like we’re just being told everything), because his line about love being worth fighting for right after he says he felt like he was betraying Jack’s memory by loving her...was...really strange??? Maybe a few sentences were edited out?

Elizabeth tries to refuse to play Fiona’s blindfold game and LITERALLY NO ONE SAVES HER (though I think Rosemary considered trying). I hate the idea of this game solely based on the fact that several people participating shouldn’t even be there (Nathan, Bill, Mike, Fiona, Molly), but Elizabeth wouldn’t be able to accidentally choose Nathan if he wasn’t there, so... -_-

I think I might have actually liked this (her “no” with Carson was super cute actually, probably the cutest laugh she’s ever had on this show) if she’d had the chance to reject a few more guys on the way down the line. If she was closer to the end of the line she’d feel her options were running out and might second-guess herself. Having Nathan be the second person she touches and having her choose is...eh.

Nitpicks aside (their hands wouldn’t feel the same and she held Lucas’s hand quite recently actually), it could have been worse. At least she stated who she was searching for...

BUT UGH THE EMBARRASSMENT.

The thing that gets me about the whole scene is 100% that everyone in town would know about the Triangle drama, so it feels...weird to see everyone so gung-ho to watch this happen... I don’t know... I like having fun too, but NOBODY even TRIED to step in???

At least Lucas found some humor in it right away (he smiles).

I think I wish someone had said something. Maybe Nathan could have said, “Nope, sorry” to lighten the mood a bit? Or Lucas could have said, “Almost!” since he was standing right next to Nathan?

Anyway, we’re spared having to wait because the very next scene is Lucas checking on Elizabeth and laughing about her choice.

One line I wish they’d added in is that someone else got it wrong. Imagine if Lucas said, “At least you didn’t pick Bill like Clara did!” Or even just made a joke about it in general like: “Of course I’m not upset. But if you would have picked Bill I might be a little hurt. My hands aren’t that old yet.”

Elizabeth tells him that she spoke to Nathan about the whole...thing and it was awkward. She chooses to not tell Lucas the rest of the reason Nathan gave, but instead only admits that he told her he loves her again. When Lucas asks what she said in response she said she didn’t say anything.

Lucas seems...a trifle upset at this, and understandably so. I think he can sense she’s...not really a sure thing and is worried about it. :( I feel so bad for him right now.

Rosemary stops by to see Elizabeth after Lucas leaves, and tells her she ran into Nathan at the library yesterday. Elizabeth tells her what Nathan said in his office and Rosemary says it was noble and selfless of him.

(I mean...it wasn’t selfless. Like at all.)

Elizabeth says she never asked him to be noble. She didn’t ask him to fall in love with her, either.

She asks Rosemary if she encouraged Nathan’s feelings for her at the library. Rosemary says no, but Elizabeth asks again and she interrupts her to ask Elizabeth if she’d rather hear what she actually said or just assume.

Rosemary goes on to say that she just wants what’s best for Elizabeth.

And we get Elizabeth asking how anyone would know what was best for her.

I mean, that’s like 90% on you for not communicating with your friends, but also, it’s 100% on you for just assuming you knew what Rosemary said to Nathan. I think she’s just looking for a reason why Nathan is being so persistent and in her mind encouragement from someone else is the only thing that makes sense, ‘cause she sure as heck hasn’t been encouraging him herself!

This hurts Rosemary’s feelings, probably because she was about to say that she wants what’s best for Elizabeth so she asked Nathan to stop getting in the way lol, and says maybe she should leave (since Elizabeth is in a bad mood). Elizabeth agrees she should go.

End episode. On this note. Woof.

Overall it wasn’t too bad I guess? But I’m not a fan of how some of this was written. It really felt like they cut lines out to make the episode shorter, when...they could have cut out one of the boring side plots. You know. The entire thing with Jesse and Clara, for example.

The Wedding Planning/Party

I admit that I got a little enjoyment out of Florence saying no to all the dresses. Highly relatable.

Then, at the barbershop, Fiona says the exact wORST possible thing about Florence wanting a hairstyle that’ll “knock Ned dead” FLHDSFAJDSA.

Florence goes on to say she wants anything but “ordinary Florence” and Molly steps in.

Honestly, I wish they’d just let Molly stick to being Florence’s BFF because that’s the role she plays best. Also, I’m almost sad Florence and Ned got together because it means #teamflomo is no mo’. :(

Paul shows up...

I don’t know what I expected but this boy would have been a literal BABY in season one, which makes the whole thing with Florence almost sadder AND it gives Florence more in common with Elizabeth (widow with a young child) BUT I HAVE OPINIONS.

I know what you’re thinking. “Manna, you always have opinions!” Yes, you’d be right.

They based this off of ONE (1) line of dialogue that Florence had in S1 when something was stolen from her house. She says, “while my child slept nearby” or something like that.

They brought a child in...for that? On one hand...I’m impressed.

On the other hand, I kind of had just assumed they’d retconned that and that Florence had no children (which is why she was always goofing off gossiping with Molly) so I don’t really know how to feel about the whole thing.

Rosaleen starred in an episode and never showed up again after S1, so I think I’d have preferred to see her return instead of a child we literally never laid eyes on. But he’s a cutie. And he’s named after his father just like little Jack so...I’ll take it!

The party begins and we have to do “the men are stupid and don’t know how to plan” again which is really annoying. The highlight of this entire thing was Ned saying (about his hairline) that he’s been driving with the top down since his 30s. I respect you AND ONLY YOU, Ned.

The party continues on and they play charades. Rosemary chose weird awful options that don’t make any sense and are hard to act out. Ned’s could have been funny but the one Bill got is just...so weird.

The funniest part about it is looking at everyone staring at Molly as she guesses it.

I think it was supposed to be...cute? Or something? It was just really weird for me.

“Cuddle up a little Closer, Lovey Mine” (yes, it’s “lovey” not “lovely”) was written and recorded in 1908. You can listen to it here. Lyrics here.

They then play the Most Awkward Game Ever, one that would have had me sweating bullets if I’d had to play it. Florence has to find her man by only holding the hands of the other men.

As Fiona says, it’s a bit...risqué, but Florence rejects Jesse quickly and finds out the second man is Bill by squeezing his hands too hard.

Bill explains that his arthritis is flaring up and of course Sara and I jumped on that almost at the same moment:

We like Bill. :P

And then Florence correctly guesses that the next man is Ned. It’s very wholesome and sweet.

But then it’s Elizabeth’s turn because I guess she’s not been traumatized enough this episode. I covered that in the triangle part of the plot, though.

The New & Improved Henry Gowen

We start off with a BANG here with Henry and Christopher. Christopher misses Rachel because he’s a twitterpated little FOOL and he tells Henry all about it...while Henry sees Bill tearing apart the stolen car in the distance.

He asks Christopher how he got to Hope Valley from Hamilton and Christopher just straight up comes clean about it: he drove a stolen car that his buddy stole.

Henry scolds him a bit, tells him he can’t borrow a stolen car, and explains that he doesn’t want Christopher to end up like him. Christopher seems kind of surprised by this and says, “You turned out good.”

To which Henry replies, “The jury’s still out on that.”

Christopher says he’s done with that kind of thing, and Henry tells him he believes him.

Honestly, Henry’s “I believe you” got to me. It sounded SO genuine. And also, can I say YET AGAIN that this kid was an impeccable choice to play Henry’s son? WOW. I can’t get over how much alike they are even in mannerisms and looks.

But THEN when Henry tries to say Rachel has something to do with Christopher being done with that old lifestyle, Christopher tells him “And you” AND I ALMOST LOST IT. SOOOOO GOOD. Henry goes on to explain that “long after” he divorced Christopher’s mom, he met Abigail, who saw the potential for goodness in him. And that he can’t help Christopher be a better man because he’s still figuring that out for himself, but if he thinks Rachel can help him, he should do what he can to not lose her.

Later, Henry invites Christopher to Ned’s party and Christopher declines but asks what happened to the woman Henry mentioned earlier—Abigail, of course. Henry says she left town to help her mother.

Is this a...hint of things to come? I’m...not sure.

Henry sits down for two seconds before Lucas asks to speak with him outside. Once there, Lucas admits that he contacted Christopher. This is one of the most contrived plotlines we’ve had in a bit, if only because I just can’t figure out how Lucas would have known who Christopher was, let alone whether or not he would be useful? He doesn’t even have the same last name... I mean, what, did Henry write in sparkly gel pens or something?

But for some reason he contacted Christopher to come work for Henry to keep an eye on him. He’s not proud of having done it, which makes sense. I guess I wouldn’t be either.

Henry’s upset about it. Lucas tells Henry that he took advantage of him and that he had to make sure Henry could be trusted.

Christopher doesn’t know that Lucas told him, though, and Henry asks that Lucas keep it that way.

It makes Christopher’s behavior with Lucas make more sense (when he kept trying to push him around earlier this season), but the timing is just...awful? Maybe talking to Elizabeth about Nathan’s secret made him feel guilty about his own? I’d buy into it more if I felt like there was a really compelling reason for Lucas to feel that Christopher would do any good...but it’s just too contrived for me.

Christopher randomly decides to go to Bellingham to see Rachel. Henry tells him not to make trouble if her parents ask him to leave. Henry makes to leave, and Christopher stops him.

I CANNOT SING THE PRAISES OF THIS SCENE ENOUGH. Christopher tries to tell Henry about the thing with Lucas and Henry’s like...you’re different now, you’re starting over it doesn’t matter anymore!!!! Everyone deserves a second chance!

AND THEY HUG AND CHRISTOPHER TELLS HENRY HE LOVES HIM.

They almost got me to cry. ALMOST. I refuse to cry at this show because I refuse to give Brian Bird the satisfaction, but boy oh boy was this close.

Henry responds with a “me too” and makes Christopher promise to write. Then the stage leaves and that is that.

The rest of the storyline for Henry is under the car investigation. They’re related but...only intertwine at the very end so I separated them. ;)

Miscellaneous (Car Investigation, Pastor Position/Jesse and Clara, Carson and Faith, Mike and Fiona)

Car investigation: Nathan starts this episode off on the wrong foot. I think that was...a mistake. THAT SAID...I’m relieved Bill isn’t being written as a complaining whiny pile of trash for once, so I just want to say that...they had to realize after last episode the fan opinion of Nathan would be...not great, so mayyybe they shouldn’t have started this episode off with him literally complaining about doing his job...while he’s in uniform no less. Also he has NO PASSION at all for his job, or for investigating, which I hope means he’ll end up quitting the Mounties. (It could be a hint of things to come...I hope.)

I mean, does he think Bill got his position for...no reason? Also, thank God Nathan turned down the promotion to Inspector if that was how he was gonna treat actually doing the work?? I’m pretty sure this is their idea of “humor” but boy did it fall flat after the love triangle mess that’s been going on.

The owner talks to Nathan on the phone later and is coming from Hamilton to get his car. Nathan seems to be telling Bill this to discourage him from wasting his time investigating, but Bill doesn’t want to stop lol.

Ned’s comment from the party about his hairline being him “driving with the top down” gives Bill an Idea in the middle of the bachelor party and leaves. Ned looks shook that he produced An Idea.

And follows. Ned is absolutely adorable as he assists Bill. They should interact more?? Long story short, Bill figures out that the top was probably up when it was being transported to Hope Valley (as you wouldn’t want people getting a good look at your face if they’re looking for a stolen car), and finds a footprint in the removable top.

The next day, Bill approaches Henry up at the oil derricks and comments on the fact that Lucas told him that Christopher checked out of his room at the saloon. Henry is up front and honest about where Christopher went, and says he went to Bellingham to see Rachel Thom.

He says, “You know how it is. You love someone, you’d do anything for them.”

The one interesting thing about this comment is that...no, Bill does NOT know. He’s never admitted to being in love in his life. He married Nora, but that was out of obligation (something he makes clear several times). Like, he obviously cared about Nora, but he wasn’t in love with her.

Obviously he’s loved someone enough to do anything for them (his son), but considering he’s dead, and possibly died in a really traumatizing way considering how it’s portrayed, that seems a bit...insensitive. :P

Bill counters it with, “Almost anything, maybe.”

He then goes on to tell Henry he found a footprint in the stolen car.

And he just. Kind of. Gives Henry. A look. Because he knows exactly who stole the car, he just has to prove it.

Henry stops Bill and says: “A while back I remarked about how you had never solved the mine disaster. Perhaps if you and I get together, I might be able to help.”

Bill doesn’t say a THING...he just leaves. But he looks kind of...put off by the whole thing.

Like he knows what Henry is doing.

Do you know what Henry is doing?

Anything.

For someone he loves.

(Pst. That someone is Christopher.)

As soon as Bill is gone, he picks up a pair of shoes and throws them into the fire.

I think it’s pretty clear that Henry is using this mine disaster thing to protect Christopher, and he’s doing it for this reason WAY MORE than he’s doing it to come clean and be a better man. That’s just my theory, though. I think if Bill hadn’t found anything out about the car, then Henry wouldn’t have brought it up.

But I guess he knows something. The question is...what? And also, when did he mention Bill never having solved the mine disaster? I’m really struggling to remember Henry ever saying that to him, at least not recently. Does anyone recall offhand?

Anyway, I’m wondering if they’ll tie up that whole thing about Noah and Peter that was never addressed on the show to the fullest. You know, the whole thing with them going into the mine knowing it wasn’t safe and not warning anyone. I think a lot of people who watch this show have never been in poverty or lived paycheck to paycheck, but sometimes a person just has to put their head down and keep working even when it’s not safe, because they have to keep living. Or because they had more time to put a stop to things before anything bad happened.

I think blaming Noah and Peter as much as Henry is pretty stupid, but they still shoulder some blame. They were working to fix that problem. Henry wasn’t. He did what he was told and shut up. But maybe there’s a bit more to that story. Could be interesting.

Could also be the worst reveal ever, so...who knows? I’m curious to find out.

BUT ALSO what do they mean Bill didn’t solve that case? The widows sued and won. Sure, he got beat up in S1 carrying evidence out of the mine, but it’s not as if there wasn’t a lot more of it inside the mine, too. Everyone knows the fault of the collapse was due to working conditions being unsafe. What’s left to solve? Is Henry going to give Bill the names of the people who told Henry to keep his mouth shut?

Or...are they talking NOT ABOUT THE HOPE VALLEY MINE DISASTER, but the original one that sent Henry to Coal Valley (and Nora into a marriage with Bill)? Because that one was not solved. The company just made Henry a scapegoat in that case.

THE WAIT TO FIND OUT MORE IS GOING TO BE TORTURE.

Pastor Position/Jesse and Clara + Cafe: I enjoyed Minnie in this episode and seeing her step in and help Clara and become part of the town was great. Jesse giving more credit to Joseph than Lee was pretty funny, and a nice set-up for Lee realizing that Joseph is a pastor. Lee is apparently head of the search committee to find a new pastor...which...sure...okay. Also apparently the newspaper died?? Uh.

I’m kind of hoping Rosemary’s new passion will be the newspaper since she’s supposedly going to dig her nose into things next episode and she used to write a column for the old paper (so she has some experience). Thoughts on that?

Anyway, Joseph agrees to pastor the church instantly the second Lee asks...so it feels weird that his original goal/plans/whatever just...don’t matter anymore? Okay.

They buy a bell.................WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY BIGGEST PETTY COMPLAINT OF THE EPISODE. BRO THAT BELL STRAIGHT UP LOOKS 3D PRINTED FJLKDSAHFLDSAHFLDSAHFKLDSA

Anyway I’m teasing. The Liberty Bell weighs a little over one ton, and two horses could easily pull that.

No complaints. My husband complained last week that there wasn’t a bell and now there is. It’s like he knew.

Joseph talks about what a “calling” feels like (I think this will come back again with Rosemary which has me VERY HAPPY): a tug on his heart.

Joseph also tells Lee that the men in his yard earlier were surveyors and that he won’t move, at least not far, because he has a congregation to lead, now. Makes me wonder if he’ll actually sell!

Anyway, Jesse and Mike are cute pals and decide to have a snack in the cafe while the gals are socializing with Rosemary (who has just returned from the library).

Rosemary’s books are on land acquisitions, surveying, and territorial law.

Minnie and Rosemary decide to talk about this while Clara leaves. Why? I’m not sure. Maybe just ‘cause it was boring lol.

She gets back as Mike and Jesse are talking about, uh, her, actually, and Mike asks if all is quiet on the homefront.

Yes, it is. Unlike the trenches of WWI.

But seriously I thought it could be a joke reference to “All Quiet on the Western Front”...a WWI novel. Since...you know...WWI is going on and hasn’t been acknowledged at all even though it’s almost over now.

Joke’s on me, though...that’s too advanced for Hallmark.

Anyway it’s only quiet for like two seconds, because Clara busts in, thinks they’re eating the food she’s been busting her ass over for the party, and yells at Jesse. It makes everything awkward. Jesse simpers about like a sad little clown instead of trying to be understanding. Yawn. Awful. Bye.

I don’t know what would fix that scene, but I think part of the problem is...I’m just not invested in Clara and Jesse anymore. It’s perfectly reasonable to expect them to need more time to get over the problems in their relationship but I don’t care about them enough to care about the journey...if that makes sense. I’d rather watch Bill dust for prints on the car some more.

They do have a chat, and work things out, so that’s good I guess.

Carson and Faith: Carson has officially stolen the dock from Abigail and Frank, and so my hatred for them doubled instantly.

Me, a territorial loon: THAT SPOT IS NOT YOURS!!!!! FIND YOUR OWN!!!

Anyway Carson makes things awkward and then busts out that he accepted the fellowship without talking to Faith.

She’s kind of hurt by this?? UNDERSTANDABLY?? But then he asks if it would have made a difference. I mean, common courtesy would be at least sitting down like this and telling her, “I’ve decided to accept it.” But no. He just. Accepted it without telling her he was going to. Bro...

They aren’t on the same page for even two seconds. He tells her he was committed to the relationship and put all his plans aside so that she could be happy.

Honestly, as much hate as Nathan’s getting right now, if people gave a damn about Faith I think Carson would be getting his fair share of hate, too. What a jerk???

He goes on to say it wasn’t a waste of his time (when she asks), but never bothers to tell her more or to prove he didn’t feel that way (BECAUSE HE SURE ACTS LIKE IT WAS A WASTE OF HIS TIME). He just says he hopes she changes her mind and comes with him to Baltimore.

At the party Carson and Faith go outside to talk where Carson admits that he should have told her he was accepting the fellowship before he wrote. She tells him that the year she was gone was almost too much time apart for her, and Carson promises to write her and tells her she can visit him, too, but she brings the conversation back to reality. They’ll both be super busy.

He suggests they get married, and then immediately says he’s not asking (it’s not how he’d propose), but that they could look forward to getting married. (Good thing they laughed ‘cause I sure wasn’t. It was super awkward...) He suggests seeing how they feel in about a year. (Oh...perfect timing for...next season...hm.)

Faith tells him she loves him and wants what’s best for both of them, even if that thing isn’t them being together. They agree to just enjoy the night and worry about the rest later.

Anyway, I feel like these two just have NO chemistry (they’re worse than Bill and Molly in my books). I really appreciate the attempt to give them meaningful material, and I like that Carson has a passion again, but boy oh boy are these two hard to watch. The plotline is really good, but the characters just...aren’t great. I figured if anything they’d give a plot like this to AJ and Bill to tie that up (some kind of conflicting reason she can’t stay in Hope Valley to be written off the show for good) so I was surprised to see it going to Carson and Faith instead, but like...in a good way because it’s actually compelling for their situation! I've been in a similar situation and it feels REALLY BAD to like someone a lot but not be ready or willing to commit to an extreme for whatever reason. Faith doesn’t want to go to Baltimore because she loves Hope Valley and she undoubtedly doesn’t want to see it go without a doctor at all. Carson likes Hope Valley but his passion is in surgery and he can make a huge difference in a big hospital. He could still make a difference in Hope Valley, too (undoubted he’s the only surgeon for many miles around these smaller towns) but he also likes hospitals and their equipment and maybe misses what he had a long time ago.

So it’s a great plot. It’s compelling. It’s even a bit tragic when you think about it!

But my God do these characters just...not come off as convincing. :(

Mike and Fiona: The scene with Ned was SUPER cute. Genuinely funny. Mike asking Fiona out. Everyone teasing Mike about how much he likes her. It’s very cute and wholesome. So far I enjoy it a lot. There’s not a lot to talk about here but I like that it’s...simple.

I MEAN...she’s so cute.

END THOUGHTS:

I want the next three episodes right now immediately, but I’m also going to be pretty sad when this season ends...I think.

The biggest speculation from this episode, by the way, is that they’re opening things up to write Abigail back onto the show. How do we feel about that?

Any other thoughts? Favorite scenes? Share!

#when calls the heart #long post #analysis and meta discussion #character studies and information

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furymint · 4 years

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All Prompts

#02: Sway

#03: Muster

#06: Bonus

#08: Clamor

#09: Lush

#12: Tooth & Nail

#15: Ache

#16: Lucubration

#20: Bonus

#22: Argy-Bargy

#24: Beam

Header | Reflection of some of my favorite peers’ prompts under the cut!

@aethernoise -- #11: Ultracrepidarian

tired curses!!!! i also really love this contrast in their work..... its rly cute. alyx just saved the world and aymeric is hating the dictionary. i like how rough his narration is and then alyx calls and everything speeds up, and i especially love him staring into the empty room. it put another contrast between their circumstances, but its also rly damn accurate abt how it feels to share a moment over the phone w someone. it made me smile a lot

@ahlis-xiv -- #23: Shuffle

this one made me laugh ksjdf ahlis’ distaste for the saucer despite being drawn to it is hysterical, but it also mirrors a lot of her character flaws: avoiding vulnerability, placing stoicism before genuineness, planting her frustration on external things instead of herself. even confronting her own feelings draws some curses out of her, and i love that display of her personality.

@autochthonousone -- #09: Nonagenarian

i love me some reflection and mentorship. also im obsessed with “let ‘lone this ‘n”.........dialect is such a hit or miss thing when writing or reading, but god youve got it and i love that line so much. barry’s relationship w stalwart is even better tho, and i cant repeat enough how much i love their dynamic of fair/stern/wise and distant/brutish/actually-paying-complete attention.

@brave-horizon -- #12: Tooth & Nail

talk abt using the setting..............i rly struggle w incorporating setting so this was a little mind-blowing to me. we got a really cool action scene plus established an entire town and conflict all at once?? battle scenes are hard. but ur vocab is so precise and stuff like “seized midstride” and “spilling its pilot” are rly inspiring me rn!! wind magic is smth ive brainstormed in the past but u have such good ideas w it and im so pumped just rereading it. its so good

@erstwhile25 -- #05: Matter of Fact

oh my god. some kind of dialogue god comes down and hands kail all his words, or else he’s just the dialogue god himself. im leaning towards the latter. i wish to god i could say “very small dogs with the barest streaks of sanity” in daily life, and honestly i might start to. the crew of the rook are always a joy to see + the development of their conversation takes such a meaningful turn that it really sticks after the laughs

@endangered-liaison -- #05: Matter of Fact

sorry not sorry jaejh is cool!!!! he’s super nasty and terrible and interesting and i loved his voice, but i esp love how well he pushed the conflict and just Ruined Everything. i rly live how his influence bleeds into the others through their fear. The kids go from hoping or expecting to smth better, to not even debating that he’s lying bc it will just turn out worse. the berry stains as a gun on the wall never struck me either, and i was SHOOK

@high-and-away -- #10: Avail

honestly this was the hardest one to pic a fav for. i rly loved so many of these bc they check a lot of boxes for my Brand. this one sits the longest with active conflict + does a fantastic job staying clear despite all the trails it picks up w max’s foil n comradeship, the chocobo’s higher level of pity over people, the chaotic pack of Resistance members, and the highlander that vicky reasons over n kills. i love that word “limning” now; ur vocab always finds ways to surprise me w the way u use them (esp in describing settings)

@holyja -- #03: Muster

usually when i think of lizzy writing, i think of how perfect ur verbs are, but this time i really liked the visuals and tone. hyana pushing food around her plate and sitting on the rooftops had such a lonely feel to them, but at the same time were rly enjoyable and clear imgs despite not having to be described forever. serella’s dialogue was perfectly on-the-nose, too. usually i rly linger on what is given too much detail, but this rly showed me how nice it is to air things out n leave the thought monologue unsaid.

@karoiseka -- #24: Beam

hell yeah memory lane time. i loved seeing CT from karo’s pov and seeing where her priorities lay or moved. i also liked the life u gave to the little parts left untouched by the narrative, like walking through CT and the heartbeat in the soul vessel. idk what could be more satisfying that a reunion either, so following karo into the ocular was some Good Shit

@mythrilreflections -- #15: Ache

does this get bonus points just for being in o’ghomoro? yes. i love how the tunnels are characterized by the senseless kobolds in them. the added pressure from their reasonings for being in this hellhole is even better, and i love the sigils concept. jace’s narration is so cold, too, which makes both the kobold’s ferocity and the team’s desperation more poignant: he doesn’t sound the type to exaggerate.

@norhimorovine -- #14: Part

this one just screams fairy tale to me. the others do too, but the repetition of events rly knocks this one up the flagpole of ‘belongs in some mid 19th century kids story collection.’ i LOVE the sisters’ banter, and how the younger daughter gets incorporated a bit further for her attention. having the soldier take little pieces of each environment to prove they were real made them a lot more real to me, too.

@snowbird-down -- #03 Muster

if u think im NOT gonna lose my mind shrieking over stream of consciousness as one of the #1 ways of writing trauma, u have not been around me for very long. the varying sentence length is rly successful here, and i esp love the part where people are rushing into the ship and she has to stab a dude to keep him from coming aboard. it’s such a back and forth determining who is humanity and who is the faceless antagonist for a minute, n ofc i love that.

@stars-bleed-hearts-shine -- #28 -- Irenic

i was p surprised that my fav of urs came so late, but i feel like this piece has a lot of what your really good at, and which i admire a lot: you aren’t afraid of emotional dialogue or arguments based in more than factual debate, and you capitalize on casual thoughts that reveal a lot more than they do at face value. i esp like that you rly make the most of two characters that overlap in values and personality so often--they acknowledge that overlap and work together with what they share.

@yunkinko -- #05 Matter of Fact

im gonna forget abt that little rat line bc the last line is a kick in the teeth. i always admire ur ability to expand tiny details into lasting events. x’arhll’s musings also cut so different from the rest of the scene, separating her from the others and mhifa even further from her, so i love that contrast. the “arc of water” stayed with me for a while too.

#IM SORRY IF I DIDNT GET TO EVERYONE #i got a lotta exhausted after this #n i love rereading and catching up on things sm #ty sm for sharing ur writing everyone!!#n grats to everyone who wrote smth #i think my fav of mine is lush!#i like a lot of the War Feelings i got to do w nol tho #i wrote i lot less this year than last year #bc work and 2020 #so im a little :/// abt that #since last year i did a lot of good work that i like to reread #brianna babbles #ffxivwrite2020

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buddha-in-disguise · 4 years

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5.18 So that was a lot!

Posting without editing, so apologies for any errors. I am running on barely any sleep, but really wanted to get this written while I could.

Overall impressions were great episode .... but again there were issues for me. However I will address them as I go through my thoughts on it all, and please don't think I am trying go bring this episode down. I'm not. It really was great! I just still see things that haven't been done that could've easily occurred to appease fans further or are examples of why 5b has been so problematic for me.

The opening was good, in that they actually explained that Leviathan were no longer at the location they'd used in Earth 38 before Crisis. These little pointers are what have been missed a lot this season (a couple of examples later ref Kelly). Too often it's been, we need to find their location; no explanation as to why that is.

Now onto the whiplash with Kara and her anger towards Lena.

Kara is angry over Lena being at the fortress and the reaction over her use of Myriad. Alex is the one actually acknowledging Myriad is a trigger for Lena.

Alex, who suddenly starts defending Lena? Then Kara is convincing herself Lena is involved with Lex. Look, I get that she would feel suspicious, I get she has the right to feel angry. But it is this sudden, seemingly out of nowhere anger, not recognising the good in Lena she has staunchly defended until now. With Alex understanding Lena's position.

As I say, I'm not saying Kara doesn't have a right to be hurt and angry. But to see such a quick role reversal in the Danvers sisters in how they're talking about Lena? That is what I find difficult to get my head around.

I don't expect Kara to be there fully defending Lena as she has done. But this just feels OOC yet again. This really isn't normal for Kara. We've seen her angry and feeling betrayed by those closest to her before, but you could see how it built. Understanding as to why those actions left Kara feeling like she did (Astra and J'onn anyone?)

Did I mention whiplash? Because, whiplash.

But it is good to see Kara once again around a table brainstorming with most of the Superfriends. Using her intelligence and skills to try and figure things out.

Nia is also finally able to be involved properly. I still feel annoyed Nia isn't really in CatCo at all these days, because as much as I love seeing her as Dreamer, I want to see Nia as more than just a Superhero. I want to see her continuing as a journalist, and like Kara, use both skills together when feasible.

The Tower is actually getting used (those computers aren't simply sitting there looking pretty). How many episodes has it taken to see this used properly for more than a brief scene? Too long.

M'gann is back. I love M'gann, and despite still feeling angry that they had J'onn throw her into a DEO cell, with no due process simply for being a White Martian, I've always enjoyed the dynamic between the two characters, and it wasn't a surprise they kissed. Although god damn it, where was our Dansen kiss. Even a hug? But onto Dansen in a bit.

Alex got into some action. That car hood slide?! Phew. It is suddenly very hot in here. We certainly wouldn't complain if they throw a few more of those hood slides in future episodes.

This is the sort of thing a lot of fans love Alex for. Her kick ass, throwing herself around best.

Plus the scene with Kara in the library just before that, also had the Danvers sisters vibe we have just missed a lot this season, especially 5b.

The DEO being destroyed. Of course we knew it was coming, but it was still good to see the whole sequence of action leading up to it. Kara jumping through that window! Day. Made.

The Nia and Brainy scenes though. My poor Brainia heart. Actually the way Nia and Kara turned and walked away outside after the collapse of the DEO .... oof. Understandable but still gut wrenching. The parallels to Lena and Kara, with Brainy and Nia are also there. God damn it, what is with all this pulling apart relationships and friendships on the show this season.

Kelly, while still frustrated she is working with William, in this episode it made more sense, as Nia and Kara were out doing Superhero things. I've said for ages though, William really isn't needed to simply stand over Kelly's shoulder as she does her thing. Okay, so he realised an image inducer was being used, but if Kelly was working this on her own, (with the Superfriends at The Tower), you can't tell me she wouldn't have been giving the footage the same level of detailed going over that William was. Nothing in those scenes couldn't have been done without him. Kelly is far more capable to do this. She is ex-military for gods sake.

Which leads me onto Dansen, but also Alex.

Once again we had them acknowledge that as ex-military Alex was finding it difficult to adjust. I broached this in an earlier piece I wrote when J'onn and Alex were talking about it. I would've far preferred Kelly had that conversation with her girlfriend, at home. That end scene with Dansen was great, but the dialogue with Kelly's ex-army buddy - that should've been Kelly when Alex says her actions led to it happening. That whole segment had Kelly and Alex talking written all over it. Another wasted opportunity of so many this season. It is especially galling as we've had so little meaningful Dansen content. That small change would've made a huge difference. Plus no hug? No kiss? M'gann and J'onn get one, but once again Dansen don't, and they don't even get the intimacy of a hug. It is ridiculous. And people wonder why fans have had increasing issue of the LGBTQ storylines. Or rather lack thereof.

Which brings me to my other bugbear from this season. Does Kelly know Kara is Supergirl? I mean I think she does after last weeks episode, which I've covered at the time. But that is only conjecture on what we saw, not what we know for certain. Where is Alex getting her income from? Is J'onn paying her, and if so, where is he getting the income from? Are Kelly and Alex actually living together? Because Kelly sure as hell looked comfortable in Alex's apartment, and Alex certainly looked as if Kelly not only was expected to be there, but belonged there. I know we can't get every minute detail about their lives, but these aren't small things. Plus it would only take brief dialogue to explain what the situation really is.

As for Alex becoming a vigilante. I will be honest, I've never been overly comfortable with vigilantes in shows, however they are littered throughout The Arrowverse. In fact, without them most Arrowverse shows wouldn't exist. As for the support of Kelly, that was a pleasant change. She understood the difficulties Alex faced, and offered a solution. After all, she has the Guardian shield. Whether she becomes her own version of Guardian I guess we wait and see. But since Alex needs to try and stop both Lex and Leviathan and has no other means to do it effectively, a vigilante is the most logical step. After all, isn't that what they've all been doing since Alex left the DEO? They just haven't placed a name to it until now.

Time to go onto Lex and Lena. Possible trigger warning here.

"You're a monster. But that doesn't mean I have to be one to."

First off. Jon Cryer and Katie McGrath were masterful in the scene where it all came to a head in the prison. Despite my misgivings of the overuse of Lex this season, there is no doubt this is why he is so good! His emotional range just came shining through. Just as Katie McGrath's did.

Him getting up into her face like he did, and her flinching. Here is what I tweeted about it: "Listen, I've been in an IPV relationship. I can't speak for victims of family abuse and if they grow up in the same way, but the way Lena flinched in this scene. That was me when my ex did what Lex did. That was real.

Katie McGrath's shone in tonight's episode."

Katie just completely nailed it. This is when I wish I could just stand there and tell her just how amazing that scene was. The same for Jon.

Those who have denied time and again Lena wasn't a victim of abuse, or it didn't excuse her for her actions in how Lex manipulates her, this is why we spoke about it. This is the victim of abuse. If she wasn't expecting that to escalate into a violent reaction, then that scene wouldn't have happened like it did. She was expecting the blow. That whole scene was visceral. I'm still trying to get to grips with how once again, the acting just brings through a depth so often lacking. So please spare me the excuses of she isn't a victim of abuse. That scene is canon now to the story. Between Lex last season, and this leaves no room for doubt, and if you do - you're not doing it for any other reason than to simply hate on Lena.

That last scene with Kara and Lena. Fucking finally! It's only taken 18 episodes to get there. Again I am still frustrated Kara is being so defensive against Lena, but I also do kind of understand it. She is also feeling hurt and no doubt worried. Is Lena trying to trick her again, like she had earlier in the season. Will she get her heart ripped out if Lena is presenting her with an act. Trust goes both ways, and both of them have found it difficult to reestablish it. I get that. I really do. Again though I just wish it hadn't taken until 5.18 for any kind of resolution between them to begin. Even if it had gone to the 20 episode season as planned, we couldn't get time to really get this sorted. Kara needs to let Lena explain why Lena did what she did with more than that speech. She needs to understand just how abusive the relationship is between Lex and Lena, and why to some degree Lena fell back into old habits like she did. Much like we had Lena and Andrea get that backstory, to really help show why Lena has trust issues, Kara and Lena now need to lay those cards out on the table in a similar way. No more hiding. Sadly I doubt we will get anything of that depth, and we certainly won't this season. But it is a start and that's more than I could've hoped for before the episode began.

Lastly, William getting black bagged by Eve. I wonder if her anger at Lex will make her use William as a pawn to gain revenge? Or will she let William know Lex was the one who has fed William those details, or activated him? Still a weird ass way to describe it by the way. But we will see. Honestly, William as a whole holds absolutely no interest for me. So I didn't even find myself reacting to what happened. It was ... meh.

And that's it for now. I've almost certainly forgotten something, but it was a lot to take in this episode.

Overall, I felt this episode was far better than some of what we've seen so far this season, particularly in 5b. It certainly leaves me looking forward to 5.19 with less dread than of late.

#supergirl #kara danvers #lgbtq #chyler leigh #alex danvers #azie tesfai #katie mcgrath #lena luthor #nia nal #nicole maines #kelly olsen #lex luthor #jon cryer #j'onn j'onzz #m'gann m'orzz #melissa benoist

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mimzy-writing-online · 5 years

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Writing Blind and Visually Impaired Characters: Tropes

Hmm, I decided to work on part three before I got to part two. Forgive me.

This is part three of a multi-step series I’m writing on how to write a good visually impaired or blind character. The master post with links is here: https://mimzy-writing-online.tumblr.com/post/185122795699/writing-a-blind-or-visually-impaired-character

The Master Post will include links to all parts. All posts of this multi-step guide and all guides I make in the future about blind characters will be tagged blindcharacter on my blog.

Disclaimer: I am a visually impaired writer and blogger who has written two blind characters thus far. I have been living with vision loss for two years, have had my cane for almost as long, and every day I strive to learn all there is to know about writing and living my life blind.

Part Three: Tropes and Cliches to Avoid, and Other Things You Should Avoid

Blind Character Tropes You Need to Avoid

ALL blind characters wear sunglasses ALL the time. It’s actually not true, especially if that character has some remaining vision and they don’t wish to harder to see by using dark lenses. Sometimes a blind person will wear sunglasses, but you should consider the reason why.

1) People who are painfully light sensitive (like me) will wear glasses when it’s a bright, sunny day.

2) People who are really into fashion and like to accessorize their outfit with sunglasses will totally do that.

3) People who aren’t very light sensitive but want to protect their eyes from the sun will use sunglasses.

Notice that those last three apply to sighted people too, there are lots of sighted people who have a little sensitivity to the sun, or like accessorizing their beachy outfit or like protecting their eyes

Additional reasons for wearing sunglasses: sometimes you feel sighted strangers are not taking your blindness seriously enough when you ask for help, so you pull on your sunglasses and approach them a second time with your cane hoping they will take you seriously this time. (sighted people are dumb sometimes)

Disclaimer: I am the cliche, but that’s because I’m so painfully light sensitive I can’t walk outside without sunglasses. Light gives me massive migraines, including headlights, so yes, I am that person who wears sunglasses day and night. But does your character see like me? Do they need sunglasses the way I do?

Blind Child Prodegy. I see this most with musical instruments, especially piano. I’m sure lots of blind people learned an instrument, but I doubt they all became prodegies specifically because of their vision loss. If they are that good, then you probably need to explain all the hours of studious education and how they learned songs (do they have enough vision to read music?) It’s more that it’s a shallow and boring trope that’s the problem.

Daredevil. Your character might have some weird sensitivity issues, but it won’t make them blind ninjas. Sure, maybe your blind character can sense a specific smell out of all the others (I’m very sensitive to cleaning chemicals, they give me headaches) but it’s probably more of a problem than a gift. They may be more tuned into the sounds around them because they have to be, but they don’t hear a conversation happening a block away. Even with the most attuned senses, I don’t think anyone will ever be Daredevil. (Don’t get me wrong, I love the character, but he’s not who you should be writing. You’re not writing Daredevil. Daredevil already exists. Go write someone new.)

The Blind Psychic/Blind Witch: The most recent example I can think of is the new Sabrina show on Netflix with the blind friend losing her vision and then becoming psychic, as if that somehow makes it all better. If you’re going to have a blind character, they need to be blind. There’s no cheaty-cheat-cheats to make them see more than their blindness allows. If you really want your blind character to be psychic and have visions, then I suggest that the visions they have involve the same amount of sight they have in normal life. If they have tunnel vision in their real life, then their psychic visions appear with their usual tunnel vision.

Your blind characters don’t need a magical ability that negates their blindness. If they have it, then why did you make them blind? What was the point? Really ask yourself why you want to give them this ability. If it’s because they can’t do all the things you want to do without it, then should you really have made them blind in the first place? Could you potentially think of other ways for them to accomplish all these cool things?

Super Powered Seeing Eye Dog. This is something I’ve seen in a handful of fanfiction, where the seeing eye dog is somehow super smart and knows everything about their environment and is just super on point about their whole job. Just, not a normal dog. It’s not a good idea and you shouldn’t do it, even in fantasy genres. Your blind character’s guide dog should be a dog who was thoroughly trained by a guide dog foundation, and they should act like a regular dog when they don’t have their harness and are off-duty. Service dogs are still normal dogs when they’re off duty and still love play time with their humans and walks and naps.

For good guide dog examples, check out Molly Burke’s guide dog Gallop. She’s got a whole video playlist about it and it’s amazing.

The Cloudy, Distorted Eye Look- You’ve probably seen a few blind characters where their eyes are cloudy and weird looking. This trope is actually very inaccurate and a little harmful because it alters the way the general public sees blind people. Most people living with vision loss have fairly normal looking eyes. Some even have beautiful eyes. Unless the way your character went blind and their over all condition calls for their eyes to look messed up (chemical burn, severe cataracts, something like that) they will probably have normal looking eyes.

An exception to this is Nystagmus, which is a condition that causes a person’s eyes to continually shake. It’s pretty common in people with eye conditions and vision loss. To the outside perspective the character’s eyes might be shaking from side to side or shaking in circles. From the perspective of someone with this condition, it might be disorientating. Lights and images they see will shake because their eyes are shaking.

Molly Burke has had it all her life and has done a video or two on it. She likes to refer to it by saying that her eyes are dancing. (Molly Burke also has really pretty eyes) Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBB8nIz9FW0&list=PL_Xm8PicNxr3noS93q_K3-fu9WO5ZSnlW&index=16

That’s one of the few conditions that might change the appearance of eyes without you falling into trope territory because it’s very common for people with vision loss to have it.

Specific Writing Cliches to Avoid

Or, in other words, cliches that will make your readers drop what they’re reading the second they see it (especially the blind ones who are dying for some good blind character representation)

“Sam, will you tell me what color looks like.” I don’t actually know who Sam is, but someone asked someone to describe color. This cliche is just dead. It’s not a super meaningful moment between characters anymore. Maybe it was the first time, but now five thousand different people have done it with virtually the same dialogue, so not it’s just cliche. Think about it like this, you only have so much time in a story to allow your characters to connect to each other, and only so many words in a book to allow your readers to connect to the character. Don’t waste them on something like describing color. Let them have a meaningful moment that’s unique to them..

If you must know how to describe color to someone who’s blind, I did like the video where Molly Burke had Gabby Hanna describe color to her. Gabby Hanna did a very good job.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2YBkZCRTGA

Still, it’s not a meaningful moment between characters anymore and doing it in your story will make people sigh heavily and walk away. (trust me, I’ve done it to many fanfictions involving blind characters)

“Can I feel your face?” NO! Please don’t ever do this. It’s so bad. It’s so cringey. It’s not real, blind people don’t do that. Some sighted person made that up in Hollywood and the blind community is permanently mad about it. Blind readers will drop your story the second they read that sentence. Don’t. Do. It.

“What do you look like?” This isn’t an absolute -never do it- but I wouldn’t recommend it. I honestly don’t know how you could use this sentence and not have it sound cringey somehow. There are ways to get around it though, and it depends on why your blind character wants to know. Love interest? Get your blind character’s best friend to tell them what the love interest looks like. Curious what your new friend looks like? Get your other friends or even parents who met them to describe the character.

“When I see Amy I see dark storm clouds over choppy waves, I hear lightning cracking and pouring rain, I feel fire and smell...” “When I think of Adam I think of warm sunlit meadows and the feeling of summer, I think of cloudless skies and quiet nights and...” I’m not sure I could do that any more. No, before you get mad, I’m not saying you can’t use this sort of writing style ever. I’m not telling you to cut out beautiful imagery that your characters associate with their loved ones, that’s not it at all. I’m saying this shouldn’t be the way your blind character describes every character they know. The reason this comes up is because in the ONE book I EVER found in stores involving a blind main character, she described all of her family members with imagery like that. And then brought her house pet to school as a fake seeing eye dog in the second chapter. I never read past that, no matter how hard I tried. It’s been years and I’m still super offended and I just get more and more offended by that book as I grow into my adult life and write my own books.

What you should do instead of that thing is show what kind of people your characters are through their actions and their dialogue. The example above is almost a tell instead of show example anyway, because you’re telling me Amy is like dark storm clouds before I get more than two sentences of dialogue from her and I’m not sure if I believe you about this meadow boy either.

I’m trying to remember other cliches that have bothered me before, but it’s eleven at night and I’ve been working on this guide for three or four hours now.

We’ll move on to-

What to Avoid in General

Or, things I never want to see happen to blind characters

Your blind characters should not be bullied in their high school. While I wasn’t blind in high school, there were two girls who were blind at the school I attended for 7-9 grade. As far as I know, nobody gave them any trouble. My sister was actually friends with one of them when I left that school and went into homeschooling.

The bullying you see in TV high schools is not that accurate anyway. The current generation of students is seeing a decrease in bullying compared to older generations. While the bullying situation is not perfect, teenagers usually know better than to bully the blind child. (they will probably bully other children instead, children who aren’t neuro-typical or pretty or thin or white)

What I’m saying is I don’t want to see your blind character getting the shit kicked out of them for being blind. I want to see your character finding their community and enjoying their time with their friends.

Please don’t make your characters suicidal after going blind. Disability is a hard thing to live with. People do go through depression when adjusting to a new disability, and yes, some of them are suicidal because of that disability. But books and stories are a way of escaping, especially for someone who lives with that disability. They want to see someone like them who feels happy and loved, not read someone who’s on the verge of ending their life for half a book or more.

It’s another one of those “why are you making your character blind?” Is it to make them suffer? Don’t do it. Blind people don’t exist to suffer, they exist to live their lives and hopefully be happy. Are they blind to make their life more dramatic? Blindness causes drama, yes, but that shouldn’t be your only source of plot.

Please don’t let your blind character’s family treat them badly because they’re blind. Emphasis on the because. Children do grow up in abusive homes, but your character’s family shouldn’t become abusive because your character is blind. Having a character that grew up in an abusive household because they have shitty parents is fine, and if they just happen to be blind and their parents never change, fine, but to be honest?

You shouldn’t victimize your disabled characters. You shouldn’t mistreat them purely because you can.

Follow this blog for more writing advice (for more than just blind characters)

#writing #writing advice #writeblr #writing tips #blindcharacter #tw suicude #tw bullies #tw bullying #my advice #mine

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iwillgetridofyourangerforyou · 4 years

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Update on my OPM Journey

An introduction to how I ended up here and what I’m looking for:

Season 1:

Like many of us here, I watched the first season of One-Punch Man when it arrived on Netflix around 2016. It was fun. I enjoyed the humor and the characters. Finished the few episodes that were available and went on with my life with the faint but idle hopes of another season. If you were to have asked me about OPM back then I probably would have said something about it being ‘a fun anime’, ‘worth watching’, ‘entertaining/amusing’, without much additional thought. Then, Season two came out. I was almost surprised that a second season actually came out, it had been so long. I wish I could explain to you how and why the second season hit me like it did, (the quality was not as compelling as the first for one) but that’s a story for another time.

Season 2:

I was idly curious how the author would keep the concept of ‘a hero who can defeat any enemy in one punch’ fresh and interesting. Superhero franchises often suffer from the crushing pressure to continue to escalate threats indefinitely to always keep a hero’s journey relatable and interesting. When you’re faced with overpowered superheroes like Superman plots can become ridiculous fairly quickly. What I noticed watching through Season 2 (and then season 1 again and then season 2 again) was clear indications that this tired ‘treat escalation trope’ was not at all what the creators were leaning on. There were really powerful conversations and questions being presented by or through characters. Saitama’s conversation with King is one that stands out to me in particular:

I was floored. And suddenly my level of investment in this content went from 20% “eh, it’s fun, I’ll check for new episodes.” to “holy crap I neeed to figure how what is happening here this is f-ing amazing!”

And so began my ongoing quest to figure out what ONE is trying to teach us through this story.

I started reading the manga.

At first I fell easily into the habits of most half-invested fans, clinging to overused tropes, enticed by fan predictions that feel more like conspiracy theories now, generally ignoring some of the themes and ideas that more observant fans are able to uncover. I’m getting closer but I feel myself getting frustrated, there is more going on here that I’m not seeing. My internal predictions about what will happen in the manga as I read through were getting closer but I keep missing the mark so far on some areas that I felt blindsided.

I need to re-evaluate how I’m looking at this. I need more information.

I started reading the webcomic.

The webcomic really helped clarify some things for me, it was de-convoluted and direct. It was like looking at the bones of the animal. I could see it’s joints, where it bends and where it’s rigid. You really start to get a sense of what this story is built for. The scenes and dialogue are poignant and every frame has a purpose.

Still, this wasn’t good enough for me. My research is not over. I keep mis-attributing things, and missing clues. Through this process I’ve been getting better at uncovering my own biases and learning how to separate them from my interpretation but my biases are a continual stumbling block. For one thing I don’t value all the characters or the lessons they have to teach, I find my lazy brain getting annoyed at some characters and hoping their voice in the story is minimized while hyper-laser focusing on other characters to the point that they become muddled images, grotesque self-projections, or over-complicated distractions. I need to get out of my head a bit, not forgetting my own biases, and I need to start seeing how ONE thinks, who he is as a person, what he values.

I need fresh source material.

So, I watched Mob Psycho 100.

That gave me so much hope and optimism for what ONE has in store for his characters. I’d gotten used to authors who create characters for the purpose of their deaths. Who creates characters who are intended to be ‘terrible, awful, and no good’ to highlight how ‘amazing, sweet, and good’ other characters are. But that’s not what ONE seems to do (imo). It’s not that he doesn’t use characters to contrast other characters, but that’s what it is, a contrast more than a judgement. From my perspective ONE understands the importance of consequence, he values inter-dependency gratitude and accountability.

That said, he shows that a character's actions have consequences. It’s not necessarily moral judgement against a person to say that if they make fraudulent claims they may be found out and shamed, or if they’re standoffish they’ll have trouble building connections, if they use power to manipulate and control people with fear they might lose people (especially if that power is taken away). The use of consequence seems to extend past a person’s choices and include the consequence of a person’s circumstance which may not actually limit a person in a meaningful way, but will impact how they’re able to achieve what they desire. There is a moment when Mob runs for student body president and he’s put a lot of additional work and practice into the speech he’s required to deliver, he stretches himself, but unlike other stories he doesn’t have a ‘surprising under-dog upsetting the establishment’ moment. His natural shyness, low charisma, and the lack of real public speaking experience result in him standing in stunned silence during his entire time slot.

He doesn’t win the vote. Similarly, Mob sets an ambitious goal to come in the top 10 people in a race, but as a consequence of being a naturally small kid who has only just begun actively trying to improve his body, he is unable to accomplish his goal. However, as a direct result of the effort and determination he’s put into his goal he does much better than he’d ever done before.

I had no idea before watching MP100 how much ONE thinks about interdependence and now I have a new perspective on the tension between the hero associations and the heroes, the teams of heroes and their individual strength, how well a team works together or not and why seems to be a very important topic of exploration for ONE. There is a very powerful moment when Mob confronts some esper goons who are looting a store after the destruction of part of a city. When he confronts them he asks “could you guys manufacture this can? Could you actually grow the vegetables in this sandwich?” and concludes that thought with “You should realize that you’re only able to survive thanks to the help of others.”

There is another powerful moment when Mob is being confronted by another bitter and disillusioned esper who tries to get Mob to tap into his negative emotions to increase his power. He tries to get Mob to despair in humanity as he has but Mob is able to turn the tables on the interaction with gratitude. By recognizing how fortunate he is and how many good people are near him he is able to pull himself (with a little help from Dimple and friends) out of despair. It’s a truly heartwarming moment and it leaves you really feeling bad for the antagonist in that situation.

Conclusion for this post, (but not the conclusion of my research):

This is getting a bit long so I’ll conclude. Taking this dive has certainly given me some perspective and I have an overwhelming buffer of new OPM analysis that’s just waiting to be put to paper. I absolutely recognize that MP100 =/= OPM and ONE may indeed be exploring entirely different concepts. I don’t believe, however, that ONE’s values have changed much (although I’m sure they’re in constant development) and I’m grateful for the opportunity to see what he thinks about. I’m grateful for the time and effort he’s put into communicating and sharing his ideas though his comics. I still have a lot of personal biases to identify and overcome, that will be a constant struggle. However, part of the charm of my meta’s is that they do come from my own perspective. This little story is only a hint at some of the fish in the ocean of thoughts I’m swimming through trying desperately not to drown in as I open my big mouth to try to share with you all. (Welcome in, the water’s fine.)

#mp100 #ONE #one punch man #one-punch man #OPM #Mob #Mob psycho 100 #meta #posts to come #research #wow #thanks to fancy ninja who has possibly unwittingly encouraged this #my methods may be different #but my intentions are always to improve #possible spoilers #idk what you guys have and haven't read/watched #go watch mp100 if you haven't already #omfg

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mediaeval-muse · 3 years

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Book Review

The Leopard Prince. By Elizabeth Hoyt. New York: Warner Forever, 2007.

Rating: 2.5/5 stars

Genre: historical romance

Part of a Series? Yes, Princes #2

Summary: The one thing a lady must never do... Wealthy Lady Georgina Maitland doesn't want a husband, though she could use a good steward to run her estates. One look at Harry Pye, and Georgina knows she's not just dealing with a servant, but a man. is fall in love... Harry has known many aristocrats---including one particular nobleman who is his sworn enemy. But Harry has never met a beautiful lady so independent, uninhibited, and eager to be in his arms. with her servant. Still, it's impossible to conduct a discreet liaison when poisoned sheep, murdered villagers, and an enraged magistrate have the county in an uproar. The locals blame Harry for everything. Soon it's all Georgina can do to keep her head above water and Harry's out of the noose...without missing another night of love.

***Full review under the cut.***

***Mild spoiler under “Other” section.***

Content/Trigger Warnings: sexual content, drunkenness, parental abuse, references to torture, sexual coercion, and animal mutilation

Overview: After really enjoying The Raven Prince and not really enjoying Wicked Intentions, I figured I’d read something else in Hoyt’s Princes series to see if Wicked Intentions was a fluke for me. Turns out, it might be The Raven Prince that’s the fluke. I had hoped I’d get a romance that was focused on overcoming class obstacles, and there was a little of that. However, I couldn’t really get invested in the main mystery or in the protagonists’ relationship, as it seemed both were surface-level and without many stakes until about 200 pages into the book. Thus, this romance only gets 2 and a half stars from me, not because the romance was problematic, but because I just couldn’t connect with anything that was happening.

Writing: Hoyt’s prose is fine for the genre she’s writing in; it’s not full of poetic expressions - it’s simple and gets the point across fairly efficiently. I don’t think that’s a bad thing for romances, as the point isn’t to wow your reader with elaborate metaphors. Hoyt knows how to reach her audience, and I commend her for that.

However, I do think she relied a bit too much on expositional dialogue. Characters will have extended conversations that deliver a lot of information - about their pasts, about the setting, etc. - and while I think most of it was important, I soon grew tired of being told instead of shown. I do think some expositional dialogue can work well - for example, if a character exhibits odd behavior for a good part of the book then reveals the origins of that behavior, I think that works because it keeps the reader wondering. But so much is dumped on us in the first half of The Leopard Prince that I felt like exposition was being substituted for purposeful craft.

Moreover, I think Hoyt’s shoe-horning of the fairy tale themes worked just as poorly in The Leopard Prince as in The Raven Prince. Georgina, our heroine, would babble about fairy tales at seemingly random moments, and the themes of her tale did not parallel the events of the book as a whole, which made the whole tale feel out-of-place. It felt like a gimmick rather than an integral part of the story, and I wish Hoyt had done more to make the two narratives parallel one another.

Plot: Most of the plot revolves around a mystery. Someone has been poisoning the sheep on the estate next to Georgina’s, and most people think it’s Harry, our hero, because of his past with the owner, Lord Granville. On the surface, it seems like a good setting for a plot about class; Granville (and Georgina) have all the power, and servants and villagers (like Harry) have to fight against that power in ways that don’t bring aristocratic wrath down on the entire population.

Unfortunately, it seemed like the mystery was treated as an excuse to throw the two protagonists together for the first 200 pages. Harry and Georgina would go around questioning people about the sheep, and the scenes felt incredibly insubstantial. Though Hoyt tried to show the stakes of the mystery by saying that Harry would be arrested and villagers would starve if the culprit wasn’t caught, there wasn’t much to make me feel like these stakes were real. We don’t really get to know any characters who would be threatened with starvation, nor did I care enough about Harry to be concerned with whether or not he was arrested (more on that below). Personally, I think this book would have worked a lot better if Hoyt had just admitted that the mystery was a secondary interest and Georgina was merely using it as a way to exercise her power over a servant. At least then there could have been some growth and an exploration of class dynamics.

Around 200 pages, my interest piqued a little more due to the intensity of the mystery being heightened. It’s also around this time that discussions of class were beginning to happen more frequently, which I liked. I do wish more was done in the first 200 pages to emphasize class difference so that when these conversations happened, they felt more significant - maybe Harry’s way of going about solving the mystery is based in his knowledge of the lower class, while Georgina gains them access to people and knowledge that is reserved for the gentry. Maybe there’s pressure for Georgina to marry higher because of some family history or something. I think reforming the first 200 pages to show off class dynamics would have gone a long way in making the barriers to the relationship and the stakes of the mystery feel real.

Characters: Georgina, our heroine, has some admirable qualities (like prioritizing the well-being of her tenants over her personal income), but other than that, she’s fairly useless. She doesn’t bring much to the table in terms of solving the mystery (she doesn’t use her status to gain access to people) and she seems completely ignorant in everything from how to run an estate to how to seduce a man. I don’t mind a little naivete in some heroines, but Georgina had no ambitions other than to get Harry into her bed. It made her feel shallow.

Harry, our hero, is devoid of any personality that would have made him interesting. He’s gruff and not really afraid to defy conventionality, but that’s mostly it. Granted, he does have his quirks - he likes to carve little animals out of wood, but as nice as that is, it didn’t really show much about who he is as a character - it was just used so that there would be something tangible to use to frame Harry for the sheep killings (a little carved animal is found at every scene). I would have liked to see more of a connection between him and the poorer villagers so at least it would have felt like he had more of a reason to be invested in the mystery. Granted, I think he gets more interesting around page 200, when his relationships with Bennet (his half-brother) and Will (a kid he pseudo-adopts) brings out more of his admirable qualities, like loyalty to family.

Side characters are largely bland in that they don’t do much. Georgina’s sister, Violet, has her own woes to deal with, but her plot seems to be a distraction, and Violet doesn’t seem to undergo much independent growth. Lord Granville is a bit too overtly sexist to be believable, but at least he’s consistent. Georgina’s brothers seemed to be included just to throw some male authority around, when needed. I did like her brother, Tony, why seemed to care for his sisters’ emotional lives. I wish he was more involved throughout the book. Probably the most interesting character, for me, was Bennet, Granville’s second son who was conceived during an affair between the aristocrat and Harry’s mother. Bennet, at least, seemed to make use of his privilege by standing up to his father and being vocal about wishing he was raised by his mother. Will also had potential, but he seemed to be included to make plot points more convenient. I wish he had his own arc, however small.

Other: Try as I might, I couldn’t get invested in the romance between Georgina and Harry because I felt like I was expected to care about them and their relationship solely based on scenes where I was told they noticed each other’s bodies. None of their interactions felt like they were truly getting to know one another; even when they talked about their pasts or Georgina forced Harry to listen to her fairy tale, it’s very clear that Georgina still has power over Harry based on social rank and class, so it felt like she was entertaining herself more than anything. When they did get together, it felt like it was purely out of lust; there wasn’t much that made me think they enriched each other’s emotional lives, so I didn’t quite believe they were connecting beyond a surface level. Later, when class became a more pressing issue, I don’t think Hoyt showed that it was a significant barrier to their relationship, nor do I think the issue was resolved in a meaningful way - it just simply wasn’t as much as an issue because Georgina gets pregnant. I do think the class dynamics could have been done well if the book acknowledged Georgina’s power over Harry and more was done to portray them as intellectual (if not social) equals (I’m thinking along the lines of Jane Eyre, which also has an employer-employee relationship that ends up working). The mystery could have been a good way to do this, but alas, it seemed like Hoyt didn’t take advantage of that.

TL;DR: The Leopard Prince suffers from bland characters with no real chemistry between the hero and heroine. Moreover, the mystery had little urgency and though the discussion of class had potential, it wasn’t treated as a significant barrier to the relationship or a real lived experience.

#book reviews

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winterisakillerwrites · 4 years

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Enough

Title: Enough

One Shot: 1/1

Character: Tom Hiddleston/Sadie Collins (OFC)

Genre: romance/slight angst/realistic fluff

Rating: T

Summary: Sadie was everything Tom had always wanted; she was brilliant, funny, well read and, in his opinion, one of the most beautiful people he’d ever known. She held his attention like no one else in recent memory had. The only problem? She already belonged to someone else…

Authors Notes/Warnings: This is for @just-the-hiddles 1k writing challenge, my dialogue prompt was “All I wanted was a happy ending”. This story took several twists and turns before ending up here. I hope you enjoy this @just-the-hiddles. A huge, huge, HUGE shout out to my writing partner in crime @redfoxwritesstuff, you have been an absolute godsend with this. I am eternally grateful for all your support and encouragement.

“All I wanted was a happy ending. Was that too much to ask for?”

The words fell softly from her trembling lips. She kept herself apart from him, hands wrapped protectively over her chest. Tom could see the shine of unshed tears in her eyes and felt his gut clench. Pain radiated off of her in waves and in that moment there was nothing Tom wanted more than to take away her pain. To fix everything. To see her smile again. Just once more.

Tom had always loved her smile; the way it lit her face and warmed any and everything around her. It had been one of the first things that had captured his attention nearly a year and a half before. He’d been dragged to yet another party (a way for him to meet people his manager assured him would benefit his career) and had found himself caught in another boring conversation when he’d allowed his gaze to wander around the room. She’d been standing near a bookcase, talking with a woman he’d recognized but couldn’t place. She’d been smiling and laughing at whatever her companion had said and Tom found himself unable to look away.

It had taken nearly fifteen minutes to work his way through to the room to reach her. He’d been stopped several times both by various actors he’d worked with in the past and by industry people who were interested in picking his brain regarding upcoming projects (had he ever considered this or that idea or was he looking forward to working with this actor/actress or this director). Tom has done his best to talk with them all (wouldn’t Luke and Michael be proud to see their continuing lectures on marketing oneself paying off), keeping a weathered eye on where she’d stood. The last thing he wanted was to risk losing sight of her and have her disappear right under his nose. Not when was so close.

Tom smiled as he finally extracted himself from conversation with a fellow RADA graduate he’d not seen in years but had gotten on with fairly well, wishing the man luck in his next endeavor; a period piece set to air on the BBC the following spring. Tom stole a quick glance toward the bookcase and was grateful to find her still there. Though her conversational partner had changed.

She was quite short, he’d noted. Shorter than he’d first thought. Her light brown hair was pulled back into a bun at the base of her skull, leaving the smooth skin of her neck and shoulders bare to his gaze. She’d dressed simply in a tea length dark blue dress. Nothing quite as flashy as he’d found to be common place at such gatherings but something that seemed to suit her perfectly.

“Excuse me,” he started, moving the last few feet towards her. Tom was exceedingly grateful to find her on her own; the companion he’d seen her with a few moments earlier had disappeared. “I don’t mean to be forward but I realize we’ve not been introduced and I wanted to remedy that. I’m Tom Hiddleston.”

He extended his hand toward her and felt a jolt of something when she took it gently in her own. Her hand was soft and warm. So small compared to his own.

“Sadie Collins. Very nice to meet you, Tom.”

And just as easily as that, Tom found himself completely lost.

They spent the rest of the evening simply talking. He’d learned she was a script editor for the BBC (she’d studied literature and film at Uni and had been lucky enough to catch the right person’s eye shortly after graduating) and had grown up not too far, incidentally, from where he himself had lived as a young boy. She was an only child and found his stories about his trials and tribulations as the middle child between two very different sisters hysterical. Sadie loved dogs (and cats and most mammals if she was being completely honest) and they talked at length about their mutual desire to own a dog of some sort once their lives were more settled. He talked about his recent experiences filming in the states and his upcoming projects. She talked about the latest show she’d been working on. Tom couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so utterly at ease around another person.

It wasn’t until Sadie mentioned the trip she’d taken a few months prior (a surprise anniversary gift from her boyfriend of two and a half years) that Tom felt the cloud he’d been standing on disappear. Of course she wasn’t single. Why would she be? She was a fascinating, brilliant, and charming woman. Any man would be out of their mind to let her get away. He silenced that small voice in his head roaring its displeasure. You can’t win them all, Hiddleston.

“Greece is absolutely lovely.” He’d found himself answering, hoping his smile hadn’t faltered. “Where exactly did you end up staying?”

She gushed about the tiny villa they’d stayed in and the days they’d spent exploring. Her boyfriend worked as a researcher for one of the university’s she’d liaised with through the BBC. They shared a love of exploring and history and it was abundantly clear to Tom she adored him. The way her face lit up as she talked about the history and the culture she’d immersed herself in during her trip was absolutely breathtaking.

He’d thrown out his own opinions and experiences and soon felt the disappointment in him tamper down. She might be taken but that didn’t mean the end of the world. Besides, with the way his career was shaping up, any sort of romantic relationship would unfortunately be forced onto the back burner. He simply wouldn’t have time to dedicate to building a meaningful something with another person.

That, in part, was why his last relationship had fallen apart. He had hardly been home in the last eight months and his ex couldn’t handle that. Especially knowing that it wasn’t (and couldn’t be) a one off thing. If he wanted to actually work in this industry, wanted to truly make a go of it, he had to keep himself out there and take any and every opportunity he could. So she’d handed him back her key to his flat, kissed him on the cheek and left. It had hurt, losing what he’d hoped would be a solid source of love and normalcy in the chaos he knew his life was diving into, but he’d understood. So he’d let her go.

“My god, it’s nearly midnight.” Sadie exclaimed, glancing at the watch on her wrist in disbelief. “I can’t believe it. I hadn’t planned on staying so late.”

Tom blinked in surprise. “Is it really?” He could have sworn it was much, much earlier. Surely they couldn’t have talked for hours. He let out a soft chuckle. “I guess it’s like they say, time flies when you’re having fun.” The words were lame and he’d known it but they’d left his mouth before he’d really processed them and there wasn’t anything he could do about it now.

Sadie laughed softly and shrugged. “I guess so. But that being said, I best be off. It was wonderful meeting you, Tom. I hope to do so again in future.”

He offered a small smile, ignoring the small jolt in his gut at the thought of her leaving. “I hope so as well.”

With a wave and a smile she was gone.

—

Tom had done his utmost to put that night behind him (and any lingering hope of what could have been had so many things been different), throwing himself in the maelstrom that his life was becoming. It was more difficult than he’d bargained for though. Sadie would creep into his thoughts seemingly at random throughout the day; he’d find himself studying lines and wondering what she was doing, sitting in a make-up chair and remembering the way her hazel eyes sparkled when she laughed, trying to squeeze in his daily run and replaying the stories she told him. It was utterly ridiculous. And there was little he could do to stop it.

If any noticed his distracted behavior, they had the good grace to never mention it. And that, Tom felt, was both a blessing and a curse. It meant maybe this…whatever it was…hadn’t been affecting his working life nearly as badly as he feared. It also meant that no one was there to really snap him out of it, save himself. And he managed, well enough. Jumping from project to project to promotion helped. Half the time he was too exhausted to do more than fall into whatever hotel bed he’d been assigned for the night, sleeping like the dead until he was roused by Luke or whatever poor sod was sent in his place. It wasn’t a maintainable pace by any stretch of the imagination, but he was young enough still and didn’t want to risk missing a single opportunity while he had the chance.

He spoke as often as he could with his mum and sisters, clinging to that small piece of normalcy and comfort they provided. He endured his mother’s quite vocal concern that he was burning the candle at both ends and could easily burn himself out in the process with as much grace as he was able. She’d had a point, of that he was most certainly aware. But, he’d assured her, this was only temporary. He would slow down as soon as he could. He told her that he knew his limits and he respected them. It was clear she didn’t quite believe him but she didn’t fight him on the matter. Not too much, anyway.

When he’d finally made it back home (he’d scored a brief two weeks completely free between projects and dear god it was desperately needed), Tom had all but cried in relief. It was wonderful being in his own space, to be able to see his friends and family. He’d filled a great deal of his time trying to squeeze in seeing everyone he could, something his mother chastised him for during the afternoon he’d taken to drive up to Suffolk to see her. “Not that I am not grateful to see you, darling. I just worry you’re doing too much. This is your rest time. You should actually try to spend it doing just that.” The time he didn’t spend sleeping or with friends and family was spent trying to finish all those little tasks that seemed to slip to the wayside.

He’d been out, finishing a quick round of shopping (yes, he could have people do it for him, and yes, it would make his life infinitely easier, but he’d needed the chance to feel as normal and grounded as possible) when he found himself staring at a very familiar face. He’d all but collided with her in his hurry to get out of the shop and on his way back home.

She stared up at him in bewildered annoyance before a spark of recognition flashed in her hazel eyes. The same eyes he’d seen all too often when he’d closed his eyes at night. Not that he would ever tell her so.

“Tom!” Sadie exclaimed, happily; her smile wide and bright. She moved, resettling the reusable shopping bag farther back on her shoulder. “How have you been?”

He returned her smile with a genuine one of his own. “Sadie, it’s wonderful to see you. I’ve been well. Busy but well. How are you?”

“Busy as well,” she answered with a laugh. “Though granted not quite as busy as you’ve seemed to be.”

Tom rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. “Yeah. It’s been a bit…”

“Insane?” She offered.

He laughed and nodded. “That would certainly be one way of putting it.” He adjusted the bag in his hand, consciously aware of the fact that he needed to get his perishable items home relatively soon. But doing so would mean leaving Sadie and leaving now was something he knew he absolutely did not want to do. “Things still going well at the Beeb?”

Sadie laughed and nodded, “Very well. I’ve got two series getting ready for production in the next few months which is exciting and terrifying all at once.”

“I can imagine.”

The glint of light off her hand as she brushed a stray lock of hair from her face caught his eye.

Her left hand.

Tom felt his gut clench as his eyes focused on her hand and the ring that rested on her finger. It was a lovely piece of jewelry, he had to admit. A thing gold band with a rather large diamond (he didn’t know enough about diamonds to guess its value other than it must have been worth quite a fair amount of money).

She was engaged. When had that happened? He’d known she was seeing someone (and had been for a while) but an engagement meant the relationship was serious. The small bit of hope he’d stubbornly clung to crumbled in that moment and he cursed himself for ever even entertaining the idea of having any sort of chance with her in the first place. She wasn’t his to claim. In reality he’d only known her a few handful of hours. How that could ever translate into anything more…Especially not with regards to the madness that was his life at the moment.

He cleared his throat and nodded softly towards her hand. “I see congratulations are in order.”

She looked at him in confusion for a few moments before her face cleared and she smiled brightly. “Thank you. It’s been about a month now and I’m still trying to wrap my head round it.” He watched as she unconsciously looked down at the ring on her hand before raising her eyes back to his.

Tom returned her smile (though the action felt strained). She seemed so happy though, and he couldn’t let himself do anything to jeopardize that. “Understandable. Have you set a date yet?”

Sadie shook her head. “Not formally, no. But we’ve been thinking sometime late next year or early the year after at the latest. Nothing over the top, though. Something small, intimate. Just us and family.”

He nodded, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “Sounds wonderful.” And he’d meant it. Silence fell between them and they stood, watching one another for several minutes before Tom cleared his throat. “I…I need to get this shopping home. It’s been wonderful seeing you again, Sadie. I hope I will get to do so again in future.”

“Well if you ever find yourself on a BBC production…” Sadie let the words hang between them, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear.

Tom smiled warmly at her. “If I do, I will certainly look you up.”

She stepped to the side to let him pass, raising her hand and offering a quick wave. He nodded his head towards her, taking her in one last time before hurrying off down the busy pavements towards home.

—

Two days later found Tom sitting across from his agent, script in hand. It was still technically his holiday (he had two more days of freedom before delving back into the chaos of another long shoot) and when Michael called that morning his first instinct had been to switch the bloody device off and to let the man hang. But his damned curiosity had gotten the better of him.

He’d been sitting, nursing his coffee and reading through the newspaper before him when his mobile rang; Michael’s number scrolling across the screen. Tom groaned aloud, disgruntled at his peace being disrupted and curious as to what was so urgent that his agent couldn’t wait another few days. A part, it seemed. And one he’d fully believed Tom would jump at.

So far Michael had been correct. He’d only gotten through the first few pages but he was already hooked. He also didn’t miss that it was a modern take on a very familiar Shakespearian play. Tom sighed, knowing full well he had a type and just how well those around him seemed to know it. Still, judging by the length of the script and the bare details Michael had given him, the project appeared to be a lengthy one and Tom wasn’t sure how his schedule, as packed as it was rapidly becoming, was going to be able to fit this in. He was getting up there in recognition (something he still couldn’t quite wrap his head around) but he didn’t quite think he had the clout to entertain the idea of getting this project to work around his schedule and not that of its producers.

“Well?” Michael sat across from him, hands folded on the desk top, eyes intent.

“It’s quite good…Very good, if I’m being honest…”

“Then why am I sensing a bit of hesitation?”

Tom scrubbed a hand over his face. He’d forgone shaving during his break and therefore had the makings of a fairly decent beard. It had itched something fierce coming in but he’d found it rather comforting now, mainly for the bit of anonymity it brought him. People who spotted him on the street still stared but now couldn’t quite seem to place him. It was wonderfully freeing to wander down the streets of central London left more or less to his own devices.

“I just…You know how packed my schedule is.” He paused, picking up the script and held it up towards Michael. “I love this, and you knew that I would, but how can I possibly fit this in…I’m booked very nearly solid for the next several months.”

Michael nodded. “Fair point, Tom. But they want you and they are willing to work with your schedule if that means getting you.”

“Seriously?” It didn’t make any sort of sense. Yes, he was doing rather well for himself, but there was a staggering difference between that and having a production company point blank that they were willing to work around your availability.

“Seriously.” Michael leant over the desk, smiling at his client. “So shall I ring them and say you’re in?”

Tom blinked, letting the idea slowly sink in. It was a fantastic part and he very much wanted the ability to work with it. After several moments he nodded. “Yes, please.”

—

Tom settled himself at the table set up for the day’s read-through. He’d made small talk with a few of the actors and the show’s director as they waited for everyone to trickle in. Catching up with familiar faces and introducing himself to those he’d not had the pleasure of knowing. For the last several months he (and Michael and Luke) had been in constant contact with the show’s producers, trying to nail time availability and start planning concrete rehearsal and filming schedules. It was grueling and the stress might certainly have done him in had he not been so excited to start.

Murmured conversations echoed all around him as he grabbed a water bottle that had been left at his place and twisted its cap off. A quick glance at his watch told him they had maybe five minutes before things were set to start. He glanced around the room, taking in a few familiar faces as the writing team settled into their respective places. At two minutes to the hour the door opened once more. Out of habit more than anything, Tom glanced up and felt everything around him freeze.

With her hair piled high on her head and a warm, royal blue cardigan wrapped around her shoulders, Sadie slipped into the room smiling warmly at various faces she recognized. He hadn’t he faintest idea she was at all involved in the project and felt idiotic for not realizing it sooner. She was a script editor for the BBC and had worked on similar projects (he was willing to admit, if only to himself, that he had looked up her work history online after their initial meeting; his innate curiosity winning out over his sense of propriety). It would make complete and total sense that she’d be involved in this.

It wasn’t until she’d settled between the director and the head writer that Sadie seemed to take note of him. The smile that had spread across her face was bright and Tom swore he could feel the warmth radiating from it. She mouthed a quick ‘hello’ which he returned in kind with a wide smile of his own. There was a brief flurry of introduction before they set to work on the first proper table read. They flew through the first few pages with ease, pausing occasionally to play with wording or with the timing of a pause or start of a line.

Tom had always enjoyed this process of a new production; getting to build off of his fellow actors and see the raw form of the story they were telling start to take shape. There were several kinks still to work out, as there tended to be this early in the game. Odd phrasings or scene placements that didn’t quite fit. Nothing they wouldn’t eventually sort out one way or another.

Out of the corner of his eye, Tom could see Sadie scribbling furiously away on her copy of the script, occasionally breaking to share an aside with the writer. He smiled at the obvious dedication she had for her work. It was yet another piece of the puzzle that was her and he was eager to learn all that he could. He did his utmost best to focus on the pages before him. The last thing he wanted was to be the one holding up their progress through the script. They made it through the next several pages before breaking for lunch.

Several people attempted to engage him in conversation and he’d done his best to remain polite while trying to slip through the throng and catch Sadie before she had a chance to disappear. True, she would most likely be back after lunch, he’d known that, but it hadn’t stopped the need to talk with her. By the time he’d extricated himself from the rehearsal room, Sadie was nowhere to be found. He cursed his own innate sense of politeness and headed through the hallway, hoping she’d not gone too far.

He caught up with her at the coffee cart in the lobby of the building. She was in the middle of her order, absently reaching into her purse for her wallet. Without thinking, he pulled his from his back pocket and took out a crumpled twenty pound note, handing it over to the woman running the cart. “A pour over as well, love,” he added. The fleeting worry that perhaps he’d overstepped his bounds hit him as soon as the words left his lips. Gods above, I sound like a complete arse.

Bewildered, Sadie turned around. Her confusion quickly melted into surprised amusement. “Tom?”

“Sadie.” He took the change handed back to him, dropping a few of the pound coins into the tip jar. “Sorry, I know I am intruding, I just…It’s wonderful to see you.”

“It’s nice to see you as well Tom.” She took the coffees, handing Tom his steaming mug, before turning back and grabbing the sandwich she’d ordered. “You didn’t have to buy my lunch though. I may not be rolling in coin like someone I know,” she shot him a knowing look, “but I can afford a coffee and a sandwich.”

Tom winced. God, he had overstepped.

Sadie tossed back her head and laughed. “Jesus, Tom, I was just messing with you. I’m not at all upset that a rather well off film star felt the need to buy me lunch.” She reached up and patted him lightly on the arm. Tom felt the familiar surge of electricity in her touch. “…Honestly, though, thank you. You really didn’t have to.”

A wave of relief flooded through him (the absolute last thing he’d wanted was to turn her off by acting like a prat) and he offered a small, but cheeky smile. “You can spot me next time then.”

She quirked an eyebrow. “You seem so certain there’ll be a next time.”

“Hopeful is more accurate,” he answered with a small shrug. “I figure I will be seeing a lot of you on this project, with your job and mine being what they are, and a friendly face is always a welcome sight on shoots.” He rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand, knowing he was letting his mouth run away with him once again. He was forever being lectured about it from both Michael and Luke (“My God, Tom, for once can you think before you open your mouth?”); what could be endearing also tended to be a logistical and PR nightmare in certain situations.

“Fair point,” she conceded, smiling as she shook her head. “But keep in mind, next time I am paying, Hiddleston.”

“Dully noted.”

—

As table reads turned into rehearsals and then into actual filming, Tom found himself lost once more in the insanity that was his chosen career. He was grateful for the lack of heavy, often stifling period costume. As fun as it could be to play dress up (his inner four year-old still giggled in delight that he was actually paid to do this), running around in several layers of leather and the like was not something he particularly enjoyed.

The modern setting of this particular story meant a much shorter jaunt in make-up and wardrobe and in a much freer feeling of movement. Alice, his costar, had been in full agreement. “Corsets are bloody murder,” she’d told him as they waited for the scene to be set on the first few days of filming. “They may look pretty but fuck if you have any real ability to move.”

Sadie had been on set most days over the last several months, running back and forth with updated copies of scripts and talking with the director and cast as needed. And Tom had done his best to try to pick her brain whenever she saw her on set. They’d taken to making coffee runs and, when they could, quick lunches (mostly whatever they could nick from the catering tents) and endless, endless talking. Sadie, he quickly found, was one of the easiest people to talk to. She was brilliant and quick on her feet and willing to match him word for word in whatever debate they ended up in. It was easy for Tom to forget he hadn’t known her forever, that they hadn’t been friends for ages.

In a way her engagement (it still tugged at his heart to think the word and of just what it meant) had been a blessing in disguise. Tom had wanted her from the moment they’d met (there was no point in denying it to himself anymore) and had she been free and he’d made a move….would he be sitting here now, across from her talking about the latest books they’d read (she tended to lead him in that category as his life had been far too chaotic to allow him time to truly lose himself in a book that wasn’t work related). Or would it have burnt out just as quickly as it started and have left him never knowing just how amazing a person she truly was. It didn’t bear thinking. And honestly what good would thinking about all the ‘what ifs’ and ‘what fors’ do him? Things were as they were and he couldn’t change them even had he wanted to. He accepted it, was grateful for the small pieces he was able to have. The warmth of her friendship was worth any lingering want.

—

“What are you doing for the holidays?” Sadie asked, bringing her takeaway coffee cup to her lips and blowing softly before taking a cautious sip. It was a week before filming was set to break for the winter holidays. She and Tom taken to hiding in his makeshift trailer between takes most days that week as they’d been finishing most of the exterior scenes.

It had been an absolutely blustery day and despite the fact they’d broken for lunch nearly twenty minutes before, Tom still felt half frozen. He’d kept the parka he’d been given by the wardrobe department on and cranked the tiny space heater he’d found in his trailer as high as he’d dared, and still he was shivering intermittently. His only saving grace was the idea that after today the majority of the exterior shots would be complete. And thank god for that.

Tom chuckled and rubbed his hands up and down the insides of crossed arms, hoping a bit of friction would stop the shivering. “My eldest sister and her husband are flying in from India. We’re all heading up to my mum’s for Christmas. I haven’t had a Christmas at home in the last few years, with my life being what it’s been, and I am so, so glad I’m able to this year.” He paused and took a sip of his own coffee, wincing as it burned his mouth and throat. “And you?”

She smiled warmly at him. “Andy and I are heading up to Edinburgh to visit his family.”

“Very nice.” Tom paused and took another sip of his coffee. “When are you heading up?”

Sadie placed her cup beside her on the trailer floor. The small table beside her had been taken over by pages of script and other various bits and bobs Tom had collected in the past few weeks of filming and was virtually unusable as a table. “Friday afternoon. He’s got a late class at the university and we’re heading up after.”

Tom nodded in understanding. “I’m heading to mum’s Saturday morning. My scenes should be wrapped up by then and I’m hoping if I leave early enough I can beat a fair bit of the traffic.”

“Good luck with that,” Sadie laughed, shaking her head. “We’re taking the train.” She laughed at the face Tom made. “Yes, I know it’ll be crowded but it’s infinitely easier than driving the whole way. Andy’s brother is set to collect us from the station and take us to his parents.”

A knock sounded on the trailer door followed by the familiar voice of Hanna, one of the PA’s on set. “Five minutes, Tom!”

“Alright!” he called back, glancing instinctively towards the door. He turned his attention back to Sadie and felt the familiar pool of disappointment in his gut as she smiled at him and pushed herself to her feet.

He watched as she gathered her bag and her nearly empty coffee cup and headed towards the trailer door. “I’ll let you get back to work. If I don’t see you before we break, happy Christmas Tom.”

“Happy Christmas.” He took two steps towards her and pulled her into a quick hug. “Take care of yourself alright?”

“Always.” She shrugged into her coat and slipped out into the windy afternoon.

Tom sighed as he heard the door click closed behind her. He settled himself onto the narrow and far too short couch and closed his eyes, wanting to enjoy his last few moments of warmth before having to surrender himself to the mercy of the bitter cold. He had just managed to get warm enough to doze off when another knock sounded on the door. With a groan, Tom flipped off the space heater and headed out of the trailer, following Hanna back towards set.

—

Tom settled himself onto the couch the following Friday evening, a cup of hot chocolate in one hand, and sighed. His bag was packed and waiting by the door in the front hall. Part of him had been tempted to say ‘fuck it’ and drive up that night, but the sudden hit of his own exhaustion steadied his hand. The absolute last thing he’d wanted was to end up wrapping his car around a tree because he’d nodded off at the wheel. Best to try to call it an early night and leave first thing in the morning like he’d originally planned.

He took a small sip of the steaming chocolate and let its warmth flood through him. He bent forward, grabbing the remote for the television he hardly ever used and turned it on. Several journeys through the channels later he settled on a Christmas special for one of the newer BBC dramas. He hadn’t a clue what was happening in the program but the background noise was a lovely distraction to the silence of the house.

Tom had just about dozed off when a buzz sounded from the front hall. He sat up, blinking fuzzily as his brain tried to place the noise and its meaning. The front gate. Right. He pushed himself to his feet, placing the now empty mug on the edge of the table, and stumbled towards the hall and the gate security panel. He pressed the button which cued up the camera and blinked for several seconds as his brain attempted to process just why Sadie was standing at his front gate. Shouldn’t she be on a train to Edinburgh?

Knowing none of his questions could possibly be answered by simply standing there like a dolt, he pressed the intercom button and waved her in. A few moments later her hesitant knock came on his front door. Tom pulled it open quickly and found her shuffling from foot to foot, a lost look in her eyes. “Sadie, darling, are you alright?”

She took a deep breath and shook her head. “Can…Can I come in?”

“Of course,” he assured her. “Of course you can.” He stepped quickly aside and allowed her to slip quietly past him and into the hall. “Would you like a cup of tea? Coffee? I’ve hot chocolate if you’d rather?”

She flashed him a small smile which didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Tea would be lovely.”

He ushered her into the living room before darting into the kitchen and setting the kettle to boil. He pulled a tin of Earl Grey and a mug from the cabinet and placed them both on the counter near the kettle. Once the kettle boiled, he set to brewing the tea. He padded towards the fridge, pulling out a carton of milk and adding a splash to the steaming amber liquid. He carried the mug back into the living room and offered it to her without a word.

Sadie took it with a soft murmur of thanks and held in between her hands. She’d settled on the couch, shoes on the floor and her legs curled beneath her. He settled himself into the arm chair opposite.

After several minutes of silence, Tom leant forward resting his elbows on his knees. “What’s happened?”

Sadie took a deep breath, her fingers curled around the mug. “I’m sorry for just showing up here…I just…I was walking and I looked up and I was here…I know you’ve probably got things you need to be doing. I’m sorry…” She pushed herself to her feet and placed the undrunk tea onto the table. “I should leave you be.”

“Don’t,” Tom started, jumping to his feet. “Please, somethings obviously wrong. Sadie, you are my friend. You came to me. Please let me help if I can.”

She nodded and sat back down on the couch, wrapping her arms around her middle. It was several minutes before she spoke again. “He left.”

Tom blinked in confusion. “Who left? Andy? You mean he left for Edinburgh without you? Why?”

Sadie shook her head. “No…Well yes, he did leave for Edinburgh. But no, he’s left me. He was gone when I got back to the flat this evening. I called, thinking maybe I’d gotten the times wrong. And he…” She paused and took a deep breath before carrying on, her voice cracking slightly as she did so. “He said he can’t do this anymore…That he’s been thinking about it for a while now. Told me he’s not ready for this kind of commitment; that he hadn’t been sure when he proposed but went on with it anyway…He said he was so sorry but he couldn’t keep going on with this, with us. God, Tom, he just…Four fucking years and he just…”

“Oh Sadie.”

She blinked up at him with glassy eyes. “All I wanted was a happy ending. Was that too much to ask for?”

He took Sadie’s cold hands into his own, rubbing them; hoping to infuse some of his warmth into her. She offered him a tremulous smile and he felt his heart break at the sight. “I’ve got you,” he whispered, squeezing her hands gently. It wasn’t all he’d wanted to say. Not even close. But he couldn’t see any way of saying what he wanted desperately to say that wouldn’t frighten or overwhelm her. And scaring her was the absolute last thing he wanted to do.

“I just…Why wasn’t I enough?” The words were whispered, clearly not intended for his ears. But he heard them all the same.

Tom wasn’t a violent person by nature but Christ, he wanted nothing more than to rip the asshole who’d broken her heart to shreds. To tear him limb from limb for the audacity to be so careless with such a wonderful, loving heart. To string Sadie along, make her promises, build a life with her, and then rip all away because he ‘wasn’t ready’.

The rational part of his brain knew it was better that Andy had ended it before he and Sadie actually married. That even though Sadie was hurt (and it was so clear that she was blindsided by this), she would recover from this much easier than if she’d actually tied their lives together in the legally binding sense. But rational was far from Tom’s state of mind at the moment. He fought to keep his hands from shaking as they held onto hers.

“You are enough,” he heard himself growl. He felt Sadie’s hands tense in his and he cursed his emotional response. God, she didn’t need this now. Tom cleared his throat, hoping to calm himself enough to speak rationally. To express himself in a way that wouldn’t scare her. “Sadie,” he started again, his voice even, “you are enough. And if he can’t see that then it’s his loss. If he can’t look at you and know for certain that you are what he wants then it’s no one’s fault but his own.”

She blinked up at him. “Tom, I…”

Tom smiled softly at her as he brought her hands to his lips, kissing them gently before releasing them. He took a deep breath. “You might not feel it right now. But Sadie, to me you are enough. You’ve always been. You are smart and you are capable. You are brilliant and funny and warm. You are so many wonderful, amazing things.” He clasped his hands before him in his lap and smiled warmly at her. “You’ve become such an important part of my life. So much more than I will ever be able to say. And I know this is too soon and probably too much, and I probably shouldn’t be saying this at all but I want you to know…I want you to understand, that you are someone’s first choice. You are my first choice, hands down. Every. Single. Time.” She opened her mouth to speak and he held up a hand to silence her. “Wait, please.”

Confusion shone in her bright eyes as she stared at him in silence. After several moments she nodded silently.

“I want to know that you, just as you are, are enough.” He smiled softly at her before rushing on. “You are more than enough. And I don’t say this to force you into returning my feelings or to pressure you into something I know you are in no way ready for. I say this because I want you to know that no matter what you choose, you have me in your corner. I will love you as a friend or as more. That choice is yours and you have all the time in the world to decide what it is you want. Sadie, you have become one of my dearest friends. I value your opinion and your candor above all others. You are my friend and if that is all you need of me then I will gladly accept it. That would be enough for me.”

Tom watched the emotional swirl across her face. Confusion, uncertainty, disbelief, and just a fraction of hope. He took another slow breath and waited, knowing that whatever happened next, good or ill, he would bear and gladly if it meant she could have a moment’s peace. That would be enough.

#Tom Hiddleston #Tom Hiddleston RPF #Tom Hiddleston x oc #Tom Hiddleston x original character #Tom Hiddleston x ofc #tom hiddleston x original female character #justthehiddles1k

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kyloreyorgana · 4 years

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STAR WARS 9 ! TROS SPOILERS !

In case this is not obvious enough, this post will contain SPOILERS for the last Star Wars movie, which I’m just now coming home from. These are my first thoughts. I have tried to tag as best I could so that people who mute the tags don’t see my post. Do not proceed f you don’t want to read any spoilers.

You have been warned. Long (and I mean LONG) post ahead.

First of all, I’m happy to be back y’all! Just with TLJ, I come from months (or has it been years already ?) of inactivity to jump right back into the fandom, as obsessed as I was back when I came home from TFA. Which is funny because at the time TFA came out, I had lost all interest in Star Wars and heard so many critics from people who’d seen it and said it was horrible and that Disney basically sold the franchise to the devil that I didn’t even want to see it, to keep the good memories closer to my heart. One night, one month after its theatrical release, I thought “aw fuck I might as well see it, at least for Carrie, Mark and Harrisson” so I went to the cheap theater that was near my home... I had zero expectation, and really I think it’s the reason why I loved the movie so much. I didn’t chose to ship Reylo, this ship whacked me like Harley Quinn’s oversized hammer with the Hades and Persephone aesthetics. When I came out, completely mesmerized with what I had just seen, I jumped on Tumblr as soon as I got home, and I ended up creating this blog just days later. I wanted more and more, fics, metas, fanarts, headcannons, theories, cracks, I could never get enough. For TLJ and TROS, I had lost most interest in the fanfics and the fandom (because as much as I love the movies and some people in the fandom, most of it can eat shit as far as I’m concerned). I heard so many critics of TROS already, I was afraid I was going to be disappointed. But I loved it. Only Star Wars can make me go from utterly uninterested to “Wow I can’t wait to see this new Star Wars in theater, what a time to be alive”, to a stage of total obsession that lasts for months. And that is the reason why I don’t give two shits about anyone disliking the movies. It’s sad you didn’t like them, but it made me feel the same way I felt right back when I was a child watching the original movies with my father. It feels like home. And that is the best thing I could ask for.

Like in TLJ, I cried as soon as I heard the first note of the opening. The last Skywalker story, the last time I ever see my Space Mommy on the big screen...

I know the Reylo community is about to be nuts. The whole movie, like TLJ before it, is basically a series of things we’ve already done in fics and theories. I am 100% positive I have read a fic where Rey and Ren try to hold back a ship with the Force and Rey ends up involuntarily shooting lightning. Whichever one of you did it is probably going to have a stroke in the theater. I nearly did.

And really, I wish I could see the look on the Antis’ faces when they see the movie. I’m sure it is a sight to behold. I wanted to scream “TAKE THAT, BITCHES” more than once. As in TLJ.

My biggest fear was what they would do with Leia. I knew Disney said they wouldn’t use CGI and chose to stick with the scenes Carrie had already shot, and I was afraid it wouldn’t honor Leia’s legacy. Well I... have mixed feelings. While the way they used Carrie’s scenes and made it look like she really is here is to be lauded, it sometimes feels like Leia had nothing interesting to say but they tried to put her in a dialogue anyway, because she needed to be seen doing (or rather, saying) something in the Resistance. And about her death... I still can’t put my finger on what exactly I didn’t like about it but I felt like something was missing. Watching the scene, at first I didn’t know if she was having a heart attack or if she stabbed herself or chose to give up her life because she somehow felt it was the moment, I’m still not sure just why she did what she did. I wish they put something more to motivate her decision and explain what exactly she does. I don’t know, a flashback of Leia holding baby Ben, a little more dialogue, something. Not just Leia suddenly getting up and going to bed whispering her son’s name.

I knew I was going to be disappointed. Among all the celebrities’ deaths, Carrie’s is the one that affected me the most, and believe me I was a wreck when Bowie passed. I miss her, I think about her every single day. And Leia deserved more, much more. When I saw TFA, part of the reason why I loved the movie was that, even though it pained my heart that Han and Leia’s son turned out this way, I thought they would make it right. I spent hours imagining a scene in the 9th movie where Ren would defeat Rey (incapacitate her the Skywalker style cutting her hand or something) and approach to give the killing blow, and Leia would enter the scene, pick up Rey’s lightsaber, look her son dead in the eye and say “Over my dead body, son”. Because Leia would never give up without a fight, even with her son. And she would get her son back, and her story arc would have been completed. I would have paid good money to see this.

Episode 9 was supposed to be Leia’s movie, just like ep. 7 was Han’s and ep. 8 was Luke’s. When Carrie died, I knew it would be compromised and it broke my heart, because Leia deserved better. She lost everything. Her parents, her planet, her father, her husband, her son, her brother, the Rebellion, the Resistance, everything. She fought all the way, all her life even faced with the worst odds she never gave up hope, she inspired hundreds of people to keep fighting for what is right, and she would never have a satisfactory ending. What a fucking heartbreak. She didn’t even get to see Lando. Leia deserved more. Every little girl in this world who grew up with her as a role model deserved more. But c’est la vie, as we say in French... My only solace is that I know fanfics and fanarts are going to make me feel a little better about it.

Of course I cried every time I saw her on screen, and especially when they honored her body, as we all honored Carrie when she passed away. This was one of the many fanservice moments, and surely the one I liked the most, although there was some concurrence (more to it later).

Another thing I didn’t like is what they did to Poe’s character. Many people disliked TLJ because of it, which they attributed to a political agenda of hate on men. This is so ridiculous and has already been debated enough that I won’t get into it. I did like the evolution of his character in TLJ, because for me it was an interesting character development as well as a good message: wartime is not only about barging in fights head first, shoot first think later, as is, let’s be honest, everything Anakin ever does. At one point, the narrative of the reckless hero who saves the day when a situation seems impossible and everyone begs him not to do it gets old. Sometimes in war, you have to think ahead, to plot, and yes, listen to what your allies have to say. And it actually was a good critic of toxic masculinity. Could the conflict between Poe and Holdo have been avoided with minimally sane conversation ? YES. But the message was here (as were Holdo’s hair and dress and WOW gurl) and I thought that was it, and Poe would evolve into a wiser person.

But this Poe is, at least in the first half of the movie, not very likable. Hear me, I never really liked Han Solo (never been into macho men) but I really loved Poe in TFA because he was genuinely nice and brave. Here, he’s bitter and annoying. I told myself that he was jealous of Rey because he heard of Finn’s crush on her and he wanted to keep Finn all for himself, which I know is just a crack headcannon, but hey, anything to make it better I guess.

Of course, I’ll never forgive Disney for not making FinnPoe a thing, when even Oscar Isaac ships them hard. And trying to make Poe flirt with the other girl (whose name I even forgot and whose face we didn’t even see, now tell me again how Star Wars has been corrupted by feminists... sigh) Speaking of, it is me or did two women kiss at the end ?

I liked the new droid, it reminded me of my puppy. But at the end, it was just another fanservice moment, it didn’t really do anything useful onscreen apart from being cute and funny.

When Rey was finally revealed to be a Palpatine as I hoped, I giggled like a wee girl. Watching TFA, I begged the old gods and the new that they wouldn’t make her another Skywalker, because it would’ve spoiled the Star Wars spirit for me. The whole franchise, in my opinion, is a story about fighting for what you believe is right, no matter who you or your parents are or where you come from. Even though Luke and Leia’s ended up being Vader’s children, they weren’t the only meaningful characters. Anakin was basically a Space Jesus and went from a total nobody to the Chosen One. I didn’t want Rey to be a Skywalker because it would mean that your importance would only ever lay in your bloodline, and that is depressing and totally against the spirit of the Rebellion/Resistance: no matter who you are, you can fight for what is right. For this reason, I wished for Rey to be either a real nobody or Palpatine’s granddaughter, which is also why I liked the fact that Han and Leia’s son turned out bad, even though it made me sad for them (Leia didn’t deserve this). No matter your bloodline, you can always make things right, or fuck up badly if you let yourself be taken away. And, of course, the reveal that Rey and Kylo Ren are two sides of the same coin (aka one of the many times where I picture us Reylos screaming CALLED IT in our seats) was exactly what I hoped for, a beautiful balance. I didn’t share Palpatine’s implication that a Palpatine and a Skywalker are meant to work together, though. That is not how I choose to interpret this duality. That is not what they end up doing, anyway.

Speaking of that old pal Patine, seeing the trailers I feared I would feel nauseated that they chose to reanimate the Big Old Villain, just like they reanimated the Even Bigger Death Star in TFA (how lazy can you be ?). But I enjoyed it. What saved it was Palpatine’s will to be killed by Rey to perpetuate the Sith rite of passage. I don’t even care if it’s cannon or not. I was afraid they would recreate Vader’s dilemma in ROTJ with Rey, but I liked the choices she made. And the throne scene worked for me. Like the rest of the movie it was flawed, for instance we don’t even get an explanation on how he survived. Just like we don’t even get what Finn wanted to tell Rey, even though it was emphasized several times. Was it a love declaration ? What happened to the rushed romance with Rose in TLJ ? (What happened to Rose, actually). While we’re at it, why did Palpatine want Ren to kill Rey ? So many questions. So many flaws.

And, of course I cannot comment this film without mentioning my sweet star-crossed lovers, Rey and Ben. First, I’m really eager to see your reactions. We did it, Reylos! Years of hate and slander and we were right all along. Let’s rejoice.

I like Rey’s evolution. For the moment, I don’t feel like I have too much to say about it (which is fine because this post is way too long already). I like the way she handles her emotions, I like her choices and her character evolution.

And Ben. Oh, sweet Ben. Although I think the part where he gets his old mask fixed wasn’t necessary, I kinda like what they did with him as well. I must say though that I liked his hair in TFA better. Oh boy, I loved Kylo Ren but I absolutely adore Ben Solo. And I think the way the movie depicts him even surpasses some fics. The moment when Rey gives him the lightsaber and he gets up and does the Han shrug ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I almost lost my mind. This ties with the hommage to Leia’s body as my favorite fanservice moment.

And their relationship... Look, I know I wet my pants really enjoyed myself in TLJ when they held hands, but that scene felt rushed even for me who ships them with the force of a thousand suns. Like many things in TLJ (and, as I said, also in TROS) it felt like things I had already seen in fanfics, but in the fics I enjoyed the most Rey had tried to kill him at least 5 mores times before even agreeing to have a one-on-one conversation with him. Their romance in TLJ felt like it was hormone-driven, but I get Johnson couldn’t really do a slow burn in 2 hours. When Leia died and they both felt it in the Force, I could feel that Rey wanted to touch him, to confort him, to grieve with him. I’m glad she didn’t. It wasn’t time. And I really like that she told him she wanted to hold Ben’s hand, not his. And Ben, the Dork Knight, finally realized that if he wanted The Girl, he shouldn’t, you know, threaten her and chase her but get back to the Light Side like she begged him multiple times. Because he really isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer, this is apparently what makes him choose to tip over. That or the fact she saved his life. I was still frustrated by Leia’s death so I don’t know if I’m not entirely convinced because it happened just after, I’d have to watch it again. I liked Han’s moment, though.

And in my opinion, Rey and Ren’s fight on the wreck of the Death Star is as good as Anakin and Obi-Wan’s. My Reylo heart will always have a special place for their couple fight in TLJ (aka the best non-sex sex scene in cinema, don’t @ me) but I also liked this fight in light of their relation. Surprisingly, it reminded me more of their fight at the end of TFA, when we see Ren holding his blows and Rey barging in. I thought it was endearing.

The end. Oh my god, the end. I can’t wait to see the first gifs and I really really can’t wait for the HD gifs, because oh boy, I now only live for Ben Solo’s smile. That’s it, I found my will to live, my depression is cured. And the way he handles Rey’s body with the utmost care (while Finn apparently watches it and does or says nothing). And that kiss... And the SMILE. And the KISS.

Oh, dear gods. Oh dear.

I can’t wait for the first fics in which Ben doesn’t die and they live happily ever after on Tatooine or Naboo or wherever they damn want. Or the fics where he is indeed dead and they still share a beautiful relationship (if Force Ghost Luke could get his X-Wing out of the water, I’m eager to imagine what Ben would do with his Force dick, tongue and fingers. Forgive me, it’s getting late and I’m still flustered thinking of their kiss)

And the fact that she declares herself a Skywalker ? I know a lot of people are disappointed in this, but apart from the fact that she completely deserves the title in my opinion when she inherited the will of both Luke and Leia, which is reason enough, she is absolutely married to Ben and deserves her place in that family. Also, it’s again a beautiful way to remind you that bloodlines don’t matter as much as what we choose to do with our lives. And while I’m glad they showed Leia’s Force ghost (I would’ve been really mad if they didn’t) I’m super frustrated they didn’t show Ben’s. What am I to believe, that he gave his life for her, became one with the Force and vanished into litteral nothingness for him to never be seen again ? Like hell I don’t. Again, counting on the fics and arts to right this wrong.

The movie sure has its flaws, and I still have many unanswered questions, like what the fuck is the badge Maz gives Chewie, or how Rey does her lightsaber staff at the end, and I wish they explained some things better. I wasn’t sure if the saber Leia wanted Rey to have was hers or her mother’s. Most of those questions will be answered by bigger geeks than me in this fandom, so I really can’t wait to read from y’all.

I know a whole lot of people are going to hate the movie. The antis, the gatekeeping trve fans (already I’ve seen people say that those who enjoyed the movies are not Real Star Wars Fans and welp, we’re going to see a lot of shit). The manbabies who genuinely believe in a feminist takeover and see equality as a direct threat. I’m specifically happy they will be disappointed while I got the privilege of enjoying Star Wars as much as I did. It’s not my fault, or Disney’s fault even, that they turned out to be on the Empire’s side. And the day has not come when I defend a megacorporation.

Leia was the first SJW. The Resistance lives on. People will always fight against evil, like it or not. I know the world is a shitty place and we don’t have much hope nowadays for things to get better, and Star Wars has always motivated me to keep going and stick to my values and my convictions. I felt chills several times in the movie, like at the end where everyone comes to fight, and now I’m more willing to keep fighting than ever. For Leia.

Godspeed, Rebels!

#star wars spoilers #tros spoilers #star wars #the rise of skywalker #ben solo #rey #kylo ren #palpatine #alright now I go to sleep

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ryukyuan-sunflower · 5 years

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Sara: A Grieving Mother is a Huge Piece in the Fuugen Puzzle

I was recently asked by an anonymous messenger about the relationship between Mugen and Sara. Not knowing if Mugen had feelings for Sara or not, it made them question Fuugen. Time to clear up some doubts.

Links to specific scenes are underlined.

Mugen and Sara have a very interesting character dynamic. But do I consider it romantic? Not at all. (Someone is bound to disagree with me). But whether you decide to believe in Fuugen or not, it is very clear that each scene with Sara, we get scenes between Fuu and Mugen. Sara’s episodes have them spend so much time alone together.

Firstly, Mugen flirts with every woman he finds attractive. Which would total to being around 6 in the series total (not counting manga, cause boy, there’s more). Hotaru, Budoukiba, the two girls he stole food from, Yatsuha and also Sara. So, it is not as if Sara is the only woman he finds attractive or has flirted with. In fact, Fuu would be the unique character in that, he comments on her appearance and then puts it down. Anyone who argues “She’s like a sister figure to him”, will then be thrown off by the fact Mugen asked to see her boobs...comments on her no sex appeal multiple times, remarks that she was probably raped and dumped etc etc. Not things you should ever say to someone you’d consider your sister figure.

Fuu changed Mugen. Fuu makes Mugen care. Mugen made sacrifices for Fuu. Mugen never hurt Fuu, and always came back to save her/help her find her father despite his repeated “attempts” to leave.

I do not see Sara representing a romantic figure to Mugen at all. As YouTuber Final Rantasy pointed out in the video Fuu’s empathy: how a friendship changed killers into warriors, he explains how Fuu’s empathy rekindled Sara’s humanity and allowed her to see a mirror of her lost son in Mugen, thus causing her to spare Mugen’s life, not once, but twice. Link to this part of the video is here.

Sara represents a maternal figure for Mugen. Now, let’s get into it.

Unlike Fuu, Sara is not a character who changed Mugen for the better, or made him see differently on anything. She is not a catalyst for Mugen’s character growth, besides for his first time feeling pity over killing someone. BUT, that doesn’t mean she is not important. She is SUPER important for us viewers.

Sara reveals what kind of person Mugen was already. Before Fuu and Jin.

Because of their dialogue, and also the storyline of episodes 13 and 14, we find out that Mugen is not just this cocky, arrogant, womanizing asshole. He knows of sorrow and suffering due to his upbringing, the betrayals, and stigma attached to his criminal past. Not only that, but we see he believes that no one has ever loved him. Mugen may actually be lonely.

The first convo we see this, is where Mugen sneaks into the hot spring with Sara.

“I have walked in darkness for a long time. But people can grow accustomed to anything. Even if you can’t see, you become able to sense other things. I don’t want you to feel sorry for me.”

“That’s a load of bullshit. Nobody who’s happy could sing that song of yours.”

This reveals that Mugen must feel something from her music; something sorrowful. And to feel sorrow, one must understand it.

After a brief, comical moment of Fuu and Mugen seeing each other naked...and Mugen also saying he didn’t make a move on Sara…(BY STANDING UP TO SHOW FUU HIS PENIS WAS NOT ERECT. LMAO THIS KILLS ME), Mugen then leaves and Fuu talks with Sara.

Sara asks Fuu what Mugen looks like. She has an image of him in her head. Fuu’s response is pretty hilarious. She goes on a whole tangent about how unattractive he is, and how she shouldn’t go with a guy like that.

Sara’s response is ambiguous.

“What?” she says, with an almost eerie seriousness. This “what” is so. Damn. Important.

This can mean two things:

1. She is confused why Fuu goes on a tangent. Like saying “Huh?” Fuu misinterpreted Sara’s reason for wondering what Mugen looked like, as her being interested in Mugen romantically. This clearly isn’t the case. Why would she want to know what Mugen looks like, if her end game is to kill them all? Because she never got to SEE her own son grow up.

2. OR, she is asking why Fuu has the need to go on a tangent. It is clear that Fuu is embarrassed after spouting all these bad things about Mugen almost defensively. If this was the reason why, this connects into three later scenes that she shares with Fuu. The first is when the two are going to sleep. She tells Fuu “One thing I cannot read are people’s feelings.” Then she asks “Which is the one you don’t want to leave?” Fuu gets embarrassed and hides under the blankets (We see Fuu picks Mugen to stay later). The second scene is when she asks Fuu if she really wants to continue the journey to the end. The third...is when Sara goes to kill Mugen...and stops because Fuu begs for his life. She realizes in these three scenes...why Fuu goes on that tangent…

Fuu does not answer Sara’s “what” and just mumbles, and hides her mouth in the water, blowing bubbles. Fuu later stomps to Mugen’s room, opens the doors, and with a blush on her face, apologizes to Mugen. This confuses him.

Fuu apologized for two potential reasons.

1. She is sorry for calling Mugen ugly. Because he is not.

2. She is sorry for assuming Mugen made a move on Sara, when he did not.

Hmm….

As for Fuu and Sara’s conversations, there is a moment where Fuu asks Sara if she has a son or a daughter. Sara had a son. Had she had a daughter, she would most likely have more connection to Fuu, especially since Fuu was separated from her father and also was raised by her mother until she passed away. Instead, they chose to write Sara being separated from her son, to have more a connection to Mugen.

Now then, more on Mugen and Sara’s convos:

“I wonder if my son would like this.”

“Beats me. As far back as I can remember, I never had any parents. I wouldn’t know.”

Mugen and Sara have deep conversations, yes. But they are never happy or lighthearted ones. Every meaningful conversation the two ever have is pertaining to the same concepts: sadness, his parents, and her child. Or all in one.

“You and I may be a lot alike. I never knew the meaning of the word happiness. The closest I came was when my son was born.” This reveals something about Sara, along with her other line: “It’s as if you have never once been loved. It’s as if you are like me.”

Sara was not loved by the father of her child. Sara had never known happiness, even when she met the father of her child. Sara is implied to have been raped.

In fact, I am positive that this is the case.

According to the Roman Album of Samurai Champloo, the episodes about Sara the goze are inspired by Zatoichi, the infamous blind swordsman of Japanese filmography. Well, after Samurai Champloo, a movie was made in 2008 called Ichi, telling the story of a blind woman taken in and raised BY Zatoichi. Guess what. She was a goze musician. Also, guess what. She was a trained assassin.

Icing on the cake? Ichi was raped, and was kicked out of her goze household as a result. Goze must never marry and remain celibate if they continue performing for charity. The reason behind this, if they have lovers or husbands, they must be getting financial support and no longer needed charity. Of course, women throughout history were obviously raped but that was no excuse.

Remember when Fuu asked where the father was? Sara’s only response was “The father is no longer around.” And she smiles.

In Ichi, her rapist tries to attack her again, and she ends up killing him with a hidden blade HIDDEN IN HER CANE. YES. CANE.

Ichi had to be inspired by Sara. This then goes back to the idea, that Sara’s son was a result of rape.

Now as for a more personal fan theory about this: Mugen may also be the result of rape. Mugen was born on a penal colony in the Ryukyuan Islands, and as far back as he can remember, he had no parents. Neither a mother or a father. According to Koza, this place was a living hell. If the people on the island were Japanese criminals exiled there, aside from the native Ryukyuans...and Mugen was born there, it is a high possibility Mugen’s mother was raped by a criminal.

Rape seems to be a theme in episode 13 and 14. Mukuro killed Koza’s mother for unknown reasons. And despite the claim that he is her “brother”, Fuu points out they look nothing alike. There is also a clearly sexual scene where Mukuro rubs his thumb along Koza’s lips as she stares in fear. She also tells Fuu she “wishes her brother were dead”. Then, Mukuro sells Koza off to Shige to be raped in exchange for the help to raid the gold from the ship. He did not know that Koza actually wanted to be with Shige and betrayed him. So yes, rape must have been a part of Ryukyuan life if it was so clearly tied to Koza.

If this is the case of Mugen’s mother, then that shows yet another sign of Sara being a parallel.

But regardless of rape theory, Mugen was separated from his mother for some reason or another just as Sara was separated from her child.

Fuu picks Jin to leave with Sara so she may see her son. Watch this scene here.

“Why him and not me?!” Mugen yells.

“It’d be too dangerous being alone with a guy like you.”

Um. Fuu. Fuu honey. You will be alone with him then...

“And she’s safe with this bozo?!”

“Jin would never do something like that!”

Notice his shock at that declaration, and then how he closes his mouth, and shuts up as she speaks. Mugen seems upset that she supposedly sees him as a bad guy taking advantage of Sara, rather than Jin. He makes no further argument about leaving with Sara.

We know Fuu is lying. She doesn’t send keep Mugen due to him being a pervert. Earlier, Sara asked who she didn’t want to leave. And Fuu broke down in tears about it, and ran away. Obviously, she cares about both Jin and Mugen, but she inevitably chooses Jin to go, using Mugen’s pervertedness as an excuse. She didn't want Jin to leave either, but the moment she cries over his departure is more comical in nature.

Notice how Mugen parts ways with Jin and Sara. Parts. Ways.

See, Jin is suspicious of Sara and that’s why he left so willingly. Mugen and Fuu were not. Mugen had no idea if he’d see Jin again. The fact that he was WILLING to leave not only Sara, but JIN, to help Fuu find the sunflower samurai speaks volumes of his relationship with Fuu.

So if you think he had feelings for Sara, or if you think Sara interferes with the fuugen ship...please remember this detail. Mugen obeyed Fuu, and was willing to say goodbye to Jin and Sara to travel all the way passed Nagasaki with Fuu alone. And when Fuu cries over Jin, he gets annoyed, stomps away and continues ahead of her. So he is serious about fulfilling his duty.

When Mugen and Fuu take Sara back to the shack for recovery, something is off about Mugen. He stays a far distance from Sara, and then runs off to find Jin, despite Fuu’s worried protest. Honestly, this is a really cute moment of Mugen; how he obviously cares a lot about Jin’s safety and searches until sunset for his body (excuse is, he wants to be the one to kill him). Instead, he finds Sara’s weapons...and figures it all out.

At the first moment of him realizing Sara “killed” Jin, he had no hesitancy in going to kill her. I am sure he felt betrayed when he kicked the firewood, but I think that Mugen was far angrier that Jin was “dead”. These two are best frenemies. Mugen going to avenge Jin is also a mirror of Jin going to avenge Mugen by killing Mukuro in episode 14. Later on, even after Jin is alive, he is still willing to fight her again to protect himself, as well as Fuu and Jin.

Imo, the craziest moment in the story was when Fuu saw them fighting. Sara’s wording summed up everything.

Sara almost kills Mugen, and then says this line: “I can see without seeing. Powerful rage swirls within you. I cannot tell whether or not it is sadness. It is as if you have never once been loved… It’s as if, you are like me.”

But then Fuu jumps on top of him after he collapses, throwing her life in the way to prevent Sara from killing him. Sara actually gasps here, eyes widening. She is surprised. She was wrong. Mugen’s face in this scene also looks surprised. He too did not expect anyone to care about him that much, that they would throw their life in the way. Mugen does have someone who loves him. It can’t be more blatant than that. Sara. Just. Said. Love. And then Fuu did that.

For that reason, Sara turns away, even though her orders were very clear to kill them all. And she does end up coming back to fight Mugen again. Why she stopped here is very obvious, then. She couldn’t bring herself to kill Fuu or Mugen here, after such a huge act of sacrifice.

Reminder: Fuu never did anything like this for Jin.

When Sara takes pity on him, and leaves, Mugen is still angry despite his condition and still wants to fight her.

After this, we get to see Fuu apply a salve to Mugen’s face. Then another scene where she tries to talk him out of fighting her.

Later, when Mugen goes to kill Sara...Fuu wakes up, looking for Mugen and says his name.

Was Mugen bothered by Sara’s death? Yes. It is the only person that we see Mugen regrets killing. They were different though. Mugen loved battle. Sara saw only sorrow from it. Him being pissed off about her death, was not the fact that she died. It was the manner of how she died. Mugen had every intention to kill her, or die trying. He even seemed excited about it, just as he was excited to fight Jin.

The fact that she held back...and also...her reasoning for wanting to kill him was never for the joy of fighting. It was solely for her son, which in the end, was a futile effort.

His eyes in this scene are extremely soft when she mentions her son. Mugen empathized with her, and also pitied her. And that shows a lot about Mugen. She says that no one can escape the government no matter how far they may run. Even him, Fuu and Jin are still wanted.

Sara’s last words to Mugen relate to him being like a son she was never allowed to have.

“I figured it out today...my son died a long time ago. I was just being used.”

“Then why…?”

“I can’t fight them. They’re the government.”

“I want you to live, Mugen.”

Mugen must live on. By holding back, and allowing him to kill her, Sara, in her own way, saved Mugen’s life. She was unable to save her son, and this was the only way she was able to redeem herself.

Sara had conversations with Mugen about her child. And Sara had conversations with Fuu about Mugen. “I can’t sense people’s feelings.” “Which one don’t you want to leave?”

These episode featured lots and lots of scenes of Mugen and Fuu together. Jin barely interacted with them and had less screentime, most of which was separated from them; fighting Sara, and being trained to fish by Jonny.

This episode was about Mugen’s past way of life, and Fuu’s feelings for Mugen saving him from a life of sorrow.

Sara let Mugen live, solely because she saw that he deserved to live in place of her own miserable existence. A life worth living. Mugen was not like her anymore. He found happiness. He found people who care about him. He found someone willing to die for him.

One last thing: The repeated symbolism of a pinwheel is used throughout Sara’s episodes.

From what I can gather, a pinwheel seems to represent childhood innocence. Numerous anime use it this way: The Hakkenden has an image of a pinwheel torn apart when the virgin princess is forced to marry a dog, to fulfill the bargain of whoever killed her father’s enemy. (This sounds awful, but anime explains it). Cowboy Bebop has Ed find a pinwheel in her orphanage, and then she hands it to Spike. Cowboy Bebop’s director is the same as Samurai Champloo too so it clearly has the same symbolism.

First, Fuu sees one when a child is being carried on a woman’s back… Later, at the festival, the assassin is selling pinwheels. Lastly, when Sara realizes her son is dead, a pinwheel flies off into the wind.

There is one other appearance of a pinwheel in Samurai Champloo. In episode one, Mugen flicks a pinwheel outside of Fuu’s restaurant, right before he meets her for the first time.

The colors are very similar too.

Coincidence? I think not.

While the pinwheel flick could have been a simple start of a journey, it was also Mugen meeting the most innocent woman in his life. One who did not betray him, and showed him more empathy than anyone else.

And the same color pinwheel in episode 20, may symbolize Mugen is the son figure for Sara, after losing her own.

Perhaps this will help you see a new outlook of Mugen’s relationship to Sara.

#samurai champloo #Fuu #mugen #Sara samurai champloo #Fuugen #fuugen feels

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my-bated-breath · 4 years

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Research Shows Zutara Would Have Been the Ideal Friends to Lovers Dynamic (part 2)

Anti-Zutara arguments: Zuko and Katara hold such a deep and meaningful platonic bond that should it ever turn into a romantic one, their relationship would be automatically ruined.

Me, with my 3.8k meta that cites a research paper on relationships: Are you sure about that.

And with that (not) academically appropriate introduction, I present part 2 of my meta “Research Shows that Zutara Would Have Been the Ideal Friends to Lovers Dynamic,” where I use research on emotional intimacy to demonstrate that Zutara is more than capable of transitioning into a romance. Still, that claim in itself presents a rather complicated question: What is the transition between friendship to romance, and how is it achieved?

“On Becoming ‘More Than Friends: The Transition From Friendship to Romantic Relationship” is a research paper by Arizona State University professors Laura K. Guerrero and Paul A. Mongeau that sets out to answer this. In their paper, Guerrero and Mongeau explore a multitude of aspects regarding relationship development, but part 1 and part 2 of this meta will focus on their research on stages of intimacy.

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Excerpt from “Research Shows that Zutara Would Have Been the Ideal Friends to Lovers Dynamic” (part 1)

According to Guerrero and Mongeau, “...scholars have argued that intimacy is located in different types of interactions, ranging from sexual activity and physical contact to warm, cozy interactions that can occur between friends, family members, and lovers…” Guerrero and Mongeau then reference a relationship model where the initial stages (i.e. perceiving similarities, achieving rapport, and inducing self-disclosure) reflect both platonic and romantic intimacy through communication while the latter stages (i.e. role-taking, achieving interpersonal role fit, and achieving dyadic crystallization) often see both individuals as achieving a higher level of intimacy that involves more self-awareness.

Definitions, because some terminology in this quote is field-specific:

Perception of similarity: (similar in background, values, etc.) which contributes to pair rapport

Pair rapport: produces positive emotional and behavioral responses to the partner, promotes effective communication and instills feelings of self-validation

Role-taking: ability to understand the partner's perspective and empathize with his/her role in the interaction and the relationship

Role-fit: partners assess the extent of their similarities in personality, needs, and roles

Dyadic crystallization: partners become increasingly involved with each other and committed to the relationship and they form an identity as a committed couple

(Source: Quizlet -- not the most reliable source, I know, but once again field-specific terms tend to be ubiquitous in their definitions, and I doubt that this Quizlet can be that inaccurate)

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Part 1 of this meta (click for the link) proves how Zuko and Katara achieve the “initial stages of intimacy,” including perceived similarities, pair rapport, and self-disclosure, which are common to both platonic and romantic relationships (and seen often in transitioning relationships). And because I have no self-control, I promised a part 2 that shows how Zutara fulfills the latter stages of intimacy as well, in which intimacy is based more on cognition than communication.

(Note: I had taken the burden of proof too seriously in part 1, and thus that meta delves (far too) deep into the intricacies of Zuko and Katara’s backstories, character arcs, and dialogue. This meta will be significantly less heavy-handed on the analysis because we already have 3,800 words of that and that’s more than enough).

So with that taken care of, let’s begin.

Role-taking

Definition: ability to understand the partner's perspective and empathize with his/her role in the interaction and the relationship.

After Zuko’s choice in the Crossroads of Destiny, his relationship with Katara becomes tenser until it reaches a breaking point in The Southern Raiders, where the following exchange occurs:

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The Southern Raiders Dialogue

Zuko: This isn't fair! Everyone else seems to trust me now! What is it with you?

Katara: Oh, everyone trusts you now! I was the first person to trust you! Remember, back in Ba Sing Se. And you turned around and betrayed me, betrayed all of us!

_____

Although Katara is angry in this scene, her open communication and Zuko’s empathy with her (established in the Crystal Catacombs) allows him to understand Katara’s perspective, to understand that he is the one at fault, and to understand that he has to be the one to make amends.

Zuko: What can I do to make it up to you?

Then, throughout the Southern Raiders, there is an inherent understanding between the two that Zuko is only a guide to track down her mother’s killer while Katara is the decider of this man’s fate. Their roles are evidenced by Zuko providing Katara with information (as seen in the left screenshot) and Katara acting with the information given (as seen in the right screenshot, where Zuko asks Katara if she is ready).

Left screenshot -

Zuko: I know who killed your mother, and I'm going to help you find him.

Right screenshot -

Zuko: This is it, Katara. Are you ready to face him?

However, Zuko is not the only one to perceive and accept the other party’s role within their relationship. Having decided to fight Azula alongside Zuko the day before Sozin’s Comet, Katara is in disbelief when Zuko accepts an Agni Kai with Azula, one on one.

Katara: What are you doing? She's playing you. She knows she can't take us both, so she's trying to separate us.

Zuko: I know. But I can take her this time.

Katara: But even you admitted to your uncle that you would need help facing Azula.

Zuko: There's something off about her; I can't explain it but she's slipping. And this way, no one else has to get hurt.

Still, Katara nods, empathizing with Zuko’s position and thus allowing him to take on a new role. In particular, she recognizes Zuko’s need to fight alone rather than together, which shifts the dynamic and interactions in their relationship.

With both Zuko and Katara achieving role-taking, we now move on to-

Role-fit

Definition: partners assess the extent of their similarities in personality, needs, and roles.

(Note: there’s a little bit of a stretch in needs and roles, but given much of Zuko and Katara’s life had been centered around defeating the Fire Nation, it still captures an essential part of their relationship.)

Zuko and Katara assessing the extent of the similarities in their personality:

(Frankly, this moment can apply to personality, needs, and roles)

Zuko and Katara assessing the extent of the similarities in their needs:

Zuko and Katara assessing the extent of the similarities in their roles:

I wish there had been more canon material with Zuko and Katara evaluating their personalities and needs on a more personal level. However, since the glimpses of peace we see in the ATLA finale are not focused on Zuko and Katara’s relationship (for better or for worse), the fact that the Crystal Catacombs exchange exists is already very telling. Additionally, it’s not difficult to imagine the two of them had a conversation about their personalities and needs given their track record of open communication and mutual support.

Dyadic Crystallization

Definition: partners become increasingly involved with each other and committed to the relationship and they form an identity as a committed couple.

After joining the GAang in the Western Air Temple, Zuko and Katara become “increasingly involved with each other” (even if their interactions are not always positive), as evidenced by the following:

Of course, their commitment to each other forms after Katara forgives Zuko and they work together as a team:

Though Zuko and Katara may not have formed an identity as a romantic couple, their platonic relationship relies on a profound foundation of teamwork, protectiveness, and support. Should they transition into a romantic relationship, this same foundation can be channeled with them working together to solve personal and political problems, protecting each other from physical and emotional wounds, and supporting one another with steadfast faith and determination.

Of course, the same logic applies to every stage of intimacy both parts of this meta explore. We already see how Zuko and Katara fulfill the other stages - perceived similarities, pair rapport, self-disclosure, role-taking, role-fit, and dyadic crystallization - in constructive ways throughout their platonic bond, so we can assume that their approach to these stages of intimacy would be similar in a romantic bond as well. After all, they already share a deep emotional connection, so the last gap their relationship would need to bridge between platonic and romantic lines would not be one of closeness (which anti-Zutara arguments point to as a cause for increasing toxicity between the two), but one of attraction.

As Guerrero and Mongeau note, “in this case, couples sustain high levels of friendship-based intimacy while adding passion-based intimacy. In a sense, these couples have already laid part of the groundwork for building a close romantic relationship.”

Thus, without needing to undergo a dramatic shift in quantity or quality, the existing emotional energy in Zutara lends itself well to both friendships and romances. Here we have a relationship where outward circumstances may change - from war to peace, from rebels to leaders - yet their internal framework, even while (hypothetically) in the process of adjusting from friends to lovers, has endured through the past and will continue to endure well into the future.

#atla #atla meta #zutara #zutara meta #my bated breath analyzes #my bated breath's posts #I'm showing my support for Zutara by citing research papers #this is my contribution #stages of relationship intimacies

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