#and i have to explain that im also a survivor of her abuse and they obv calm down but its still kinda brought up and i end up just

[yuki-of-the-sky]

My thoughts on Revolutionary girl utena are very intense in a way i wasnt expecting. At first i thought the show to be akin to your normal magical girl show but blatant lesbians. How wrong i was, oh how very wrong i was. Things i wasnt expecting from this show was just how complex and flawed a lot of the characters are and how horrifying akio is. So to explain why i have such intense feelings on this show and its movie im gonna have to tell yall that i am a sexual assault survivor. Back in my teens i was very heavily abused by my now ex boyfriend who did a number of unspeakable and despicable things to me. So when i saw Anthy approach Akio that first time when everything fades to black after she takes off her glasses i immediately had this visceral reaction of horror. I knew what this scene was alluding to and i just felt like i waw back then. In a sense though im glad to see representation of this in a show because i feel seen. Like i can point to this show it someone ever asks me what it was like for me when i was assaulted. The scene where Utena and Akio first have a relation of that form i had a much grosser and more fucked up feeling hit me. Seeing utena talk about what she should make for lunch as she tries to avoid thinking about the situation shes in it just hit me hard. Revolutionary girl utena is very special because representation matter, these horrific and gross things matter. They matter so that people like me dont feel so alone in the world, so that we dont have to feel so ostracized when people find out what has happened to us. Truly i stive for my own revolution where i can be happy and help others. Also as a side the gender fuckery in this show is amazing, Utena's identity is prince and her pronouns are she/ her and i love that about her.

#revolutionary girl utena #adolescence of utena #revolutionary girl utena spoilers #tw sex assault #tw sa #awful foolish of you to think you're the only one who can turn into a car #about me #personal trauma

[fyodorkitkat]

Who do you think is the deepest character in diabolik lovers and whyyyyyy :3 (sorry if this is weird btw :,))

Tomà out here activating my dialovers derangement syndrome 🥲 ty ty ty also sry sry sry in advance 🙏💜

Minors dni with this post

This is not weird omg no one ever asks me about dialovers you need to understand I was into VNs including otome before I was into any anime (including bsd) and diabolik lovers is my longest term obsession that isn't music 💜🙏 This is mostly going to involve things from the games (because the anime was basically silly fanservice that barely scratches the surface for anyone) but I'll leave out drama cd stuff because I would actually need to go refresh myself on those.

Absolute novel under the cut sorry. also cw noncon, cw dubcon, cw abuse, cw csa, cw suicide, cw matricide

Anyone not familiar with the series who decides to continue pls be aware of these warnings and take care of yourself. Also pls understand everything I say is in terms of the series and setting. Absolutely nothing that happens in these games would make any of these characters redeemable irl. This is fiction and a trashfire Do-S fetish franchise. Trauma doesn't excuse abuse. I don't condone any of the bad behavior from this series irl. (Sorry since this isn't my sideblog I feel I need to explain this so ppl don't come at me thinking I'm excusing stuff for reals with this little analysis)

Also this is probably going to have spelling mistakes and horrific formatting because I wrote it on mobile so my bad on that too.

This was so hard to answer because so many of them have serious trauma, maladaptive coping mechanisms, and large amounts of growth throughout the various sequels. I think you could make the logical argument of depth for every single character. The Sakamaki triplets are def the most tragic of the first two games in this regard though (maybe only rivaled by the Tsukinami brothers once we get to Dark Fate because of the whole being the sole survivors of genocide thing)

But as a whole I think Carla and Shin deal with their predicaments in a more outwardly focused manner (which makes sense given their stories and roles as antagonists in their debut game) so I don't think I could objectively call them the deepest esp Carla even though he is my fave.

So out of the Sakamaki triplets I am going to go with Laito. Shocking I know because I have said before he is the one I am the most terrified of. But hear me out.

(I'm using HBD (haunted dark bridal) to refer to the first game, and MB (more blood) to refer to the second game going forward)

His first route in hdb is a stomach twisting mess of isolation, noncon, gaslighting and victim blaming. It is also the only route in that game where Yui tries to kill herself, which imo is really notable. Tbh the first time I played it I was so deeply uncomfortable I didn't really give his character a lot of thought. During replays and some of his drama cds though it def changed my perspective of him (in terms of the deepness of his character, not my dislike of him)

Here are my arguments in topical format because I don't really want to go through and do the research needed to refresh myself and make this chronological. Also if I am mistaken with anything I've paraphrased my bad it's because this isn't a real essay more of a rant that you might regret reading lol.

- Cordelia

We can't go into the rest of my arguments without the facts. He was groomed by his mother and experienced a childhood of CSA at her hands. And he is absolutely confused and suffering when he has his flashbacks. Yes he kills her with the other two triplets, but that didn't actually solve anything for him internally, and I think it is a pretty clear-cut argument that his negative traits and behaviors can be linked back to his unresolved trauma from this. He even says it himself too when he tries to project onto Yui and claim her hatred for him must be the same as his for Cordelia (though unnamed in his quote im pretty sure) that a hatred can run so deep that even killing the person won't relieve the burning. The other ironic part of this is that in the dialovers universe it is explained multiple times that the highest act of love for a vampire is murder. So. Every LI (Reiji, Laito, Ayato, Kanato) that committed matricide out of their hatred probably has some deeper more complex feelings going on than that. (You could also argue maybe a similar thing about Carla and patricide as well though he is Founder/First Blood not vampire. But he is more open about his reasoning and feelings around his parents and why he did what he did imo)

- His disdain of purity (plot twist. It's jealousy).

We repeatedly see him mock both Yui's purity and religiosity. He is arguably the worst out of all of the LIs when it comes to this topic, and hits this point right out the gate when he assaults her in the abandoned church. It is simultaneously a logical and also weird choice on his part to continue on with when you realize how unwavering her faith actually is, and if you do other routes before this one you are already coming in realizing no matter how much she "breaks", "changes", or "gives in" in other ways, she never actually abandons her faith completely even in future games when she is living quite literally in the demon world. Even in routes where she becomes a vampire she doesn't eschew God. However it is canon that she is a devout Catholic and that she originally wanted to be a nun (before the events of the game screw that up for her), so it is still relevant.

While it may have started as a way to try and break her down, it really becomes more and more clear through his routes that like a bunch of his other behaviors, he is projecting his own struggles onto Yui.

He is jealous of her purity, so he attacks it. He is jealous of her faith, so he attacks it. He is jealous of her unwavering belief in goodness and in humanity, so he just. keeps. attacking. it. Because seeing it exist in front of him hurts, but especially early on he isn't aware of his own emotions or why he acts the way he does. So many things in his routes and his monologues highlight the fact that Laito views himself as permanently dirtied by his past, and this behavior is tied to that.

- His inability to identify his feelings from his fake front and his use of sex to maladaptively deal with his trauma.

** I wrote way too much on this and decide nvm I think even if someone has only seen the anime his hypersexuality probably speaks for itself. Plus this is getting so long 😔**

-His lack of control in MB and "forced" behavior. His confusion over his own tears near the end of HDB.

There are various instances (esp in MB where his characterization is wildly different and desperate compared to HDB) where we see his mask start to crack, or realize that his mask wasn't actually very good to begin with and the exhaustion from the continous abuse in his routes has caused both Yui (and us as the reader) to fall for his bullshit more easily. He plays the part of a pervert, but Shu (who arguably is a massive pervert) calls him out in MB for being a phony. His behavior in MB makes him come across as desperate and out of control, as opposed to his calculated sadism in HDB. This all comes back to his inner turmoil, unresolved feelings, and trauma and we slowly unpeal those layers through the rest of the series.

I think at baseline it is really easy to dismiss Laito. I did from the beginning too. Plus he never stops calling Yui Bitch-chan no matter how many sequels he gets 🤦‍♂️ But that is just falling for his fake front, exactly what he wants you to do because then he can just keep carrying on without dealing with his bs and let off steam temporarily in the process. But under the surface there is a lot more going on. And he definitely is a character that has an insane amount of depth.

Sorry for the multi part novel. I don't even like him as an LI even in this series. But for a series with so many inconsistencies, retcons across games, and questionable writing choices, they did a good job with his character. I just need him to stay far away from both me and Yui 🥲 Imagine if you had asked me something that prompted me to talk about my faves 💀💀💀

#-Lue asks #sorry for not tagging the series to anyone who filters it i dont want my rambling mess in the main tag 🙏💜 #cw abuse #cw suicide mention #cw csa mention #cw noncon #cw dubcon #minors dni with this post

[lily-orchard-gossip-blog]

Anonymous Submission

these are the relevant screenshots to that ask i sent about the family guy episode

1. in the GoW tropes vs ida davis, lily shows this list of her stated favorite episodes of family guy (video is public on her channel, as shown by the current icon of her and mikaila, as well as mikailas name in the handle). she presents this list genuinely, as she describes her top favorite episode, quagmires dad (the episode the video is mostly about), as having been her favorite throughout her transition, and then spends the video explaining why

2 and 3. the thing i kind of remembered where she praises the episodes for being funny/"an acid trip" in SSPs case, and vindicating that the abuser is killed/"action is taken" in SoSs case (like i said in the other ask, in my opinion, just because the abuser dies doesnt excuse the "flaws" or "shortcomings" lily is conveniently being coy about, being the episode blaming the abuse survivor for her abuse—i also didnt mention this before but i thought of it now, killing the abuser is all well and good and i do actually personally feel vindicated watching "action being taken" like i dont Disagree with lily necessarily on that, but it again centers the issue around someone other than the abuse survivor: quagmire kills jeff to save brenda and "take action" since the police wouldnt, but it frames it as a conflict between quagmire and jeff and completely shoulders brenda, who this SHOULD be about, completely out of the narrative. based on what i know of aliana in TSR, i think lily probbaly enjoys filling the "savior" role that quagmire plays in that episode. just food for thought)

4. lily trying to act like it was all a joke and she didnt mean anything she said about any of that, its not her fault that her audience thought she liked the episode/s that screamed abuse apologia, even though she presented the information like she believed what she was saying and had NO hint of sarcasm or... parody... or idk, fucking ANYTHING shes lying im saying shes lying about the list not being genuine we all know it is but shes trying to cover her ass for enjoying problematic media. which is FINE btw who fucking cares, its fine to like the damn episodes, but dont pretend like u were being facetious the whole time. doing the whole "im just kidding if u disagree, but im totally serious if u agree" thing makes her look so stupid i swear

#submission #family guy #Lily Orchard #receipts

[scentedchildnacho]

I told him ina french The French media and I would go to beauty school....you can like watch it for urban design or city political management but I mostly ended up wanting to go to beauty school.....

The chimps see if you finally help her notice how sharp and hard the styles energetically are instead of soft and round see if it's soft and round and see how much more pleaseing she is and desiring of being helpful and can do....

Have you seen a more can do attitude if color is not flashing and camouflage and all up in your face moving and bright around but if it is just subdued mono color

Beauty school is like run way....and I was more thinking about steal magnolias and dolly Parton and metropolis and someone finally explaining I may be her

I complete

Well multicultural labor starts being used for white chick so sure there are still lots of jobs to not ask treaties to be loosely interpreted

Many cultures are a lot more invasive then white environmental authority allows and I've learned I have to practice that with who wants to others the animal is barbarous and they just go to it

After compass station I've found marking people up with a lot of tattoos because of an acne that appears to be more a disease....kind of really morally wrong for me but

Anyway I was explaining to him that I had to go to school a very long time so I have watched a lot of feminines starve themselves to death to aquire or achieve some sort of secret

So I more wanted to do palliative nutrition hospice work not mentalism....

Anyway a little curiosity into what happened to them because of my own survivor guilt I end up in domestic abuse because truthfully people notice people can hit me or beat me up a bit and I am fine though truth is for a mental label I am actually kind of psychologically resilient and it doesn't affect me much....

So one episode of seeing the same people who beat me up.....to the people who starves themselves to death was enough for me to only want to know the science not the police facts of why they started killing themselves....

It is like hell....and they really really batter and possess them so it's not relevant to their health care and I don't recommend getting involved

Survivor guilt...i am from the states so I already survived childhood to be pretty docile and refuse to.be moved to action easily....

A lot is behavioural she happened to do something arbitrary I have unconscious aversions to so I stand to benefit a lot here im not sure I want or was given to me....

She accidentally hit a dog with her car where I know I'm too unwell to drive

She didn't tell herself she is too unwell and so got called an immigrant

Im unwell and with other commitments so I don't job....she claims solidarity with homeless communities then benefits from family with jobs also....people a little all over the place start looking debted to too much....

People like me view homelessness as a historic continuity of slavery policy so the indentured servitude or jobs are like my enemy

Its the indentured servitude that claims they act for upper class covens so when the upper class wants to use the street it's not bothered by real life or conscience or reminded of consequences

So people like me asked to job after homelessness find that impossible stolkholm syndrome couldnt take more battery finally helped them rob the elderly bank

I promised her I would only prosecute the compass station.....I do complete class work and experimental drug technology ....I complete experimental living....I do little investigative things for the police so homelessness is like a full time job....it's all the time kept on schedule activity and they bring me to an office and just don't issue me a regular paycheck or tell me their done with the study and tell me of other options

Jobs is just not communist you can't prove other then direct verbal threats to incarcerate without crime commited that their involved and homeless people just kind of around is annoying as anything else ...so that's my uncle vet about involvement in foreign war....it's all encouraged annoying behaviours

I told her the weight loss dictator in south California is so Annoying I can't like people anymore and I miss living in the north where people are a comrade and not people who kill if not family ...

All this she is lonely if not with family that character is Foucault inverse though....

Uhm I was white though and the free white people who eventually took over the masters house did that with Africans.....so I don't enjoy the Indians here they don't do enough the way Chicago does to remove fascistic energy from my life....indigenous peoples if northern get out of my face easier and with more

Olive oatman at Voltaire oops that isn't a native tribe you have always known of and understood and that really hurt didn't it

An Indian mother gives the indigenous people in Chicago these like whole freeways to do weird stunts with cars on and stay away from a grandma's hood....and here they wouldn't give them an Autobahn and they brought that out of context

And that's knowing why my grandparents decided to not extend their lives into their 80s....its inevitable that work to create housing and development will bring fascistic conflict so

To my knowledge restoration and antebellum research is intended towards the homeless not jobs....eli Whitney created the cotton gin so mechanics replaced slavery....no need to pick a row and

The indigenous people in San Diego I thought I could be the type of liberal white character that could greet them very warmly.....and like forgotten kin.....but it is just those people and their like useful for that it's all very....oh yea those people are okay sure we could try that sometimes

[chronic-gastro-illness-culture]

can you clarify something in your rules: i'm curious what "pwHPD" stands for. the only thing i can think of is "histrionic personality disorder" which is a highly stigmatized trauma response, primarily affecting survivors of gendered violence. is this what you're referring to or is there something else?

yeah i mean people w histrionic personality disorder

im currently in therapy n recovering from an abusive ex she had hpd n used her pd as an excuse to be abusive bc of her i developed ptsd gerd n ibs bc the chronic traumatic stress she n the relationship put me under

one of the things shed do is fake all kinds of disorders n symptoms n personal crisis for attn or when i needed support from her shed pretend to have smth worse going on so that id have to be the one supporting her while ignoring my own needs

i have these chronic lifetime conditions ima take to my grave all bc i loved the wrong person n yeah i dont want anyone who fakes disorders for attn to interact w me or this blog both from the standpoint of being a person who is actually sick n its shitty when someone treats ur struggles as some fun rp thing or aesthetic or quirky personality trait n also as a person who was abused by a abuser w hpd who weaseled her way into my life by faking a false sense of connection thru pretend disorders she didnt have then turning around n abusing me by forcing me into a caregiver role for her to fix the disorders n illnesses n symptoms n crisis she didnt rlly have

ive deleted all the asks ive gotten abt hpd in my dni bc 1 no one should have to explain their boundaries in order to prove they r worthy of being respected if it makes u uncomfortable bc u think im a bigot oh well ur entitled to feel that way n u know where the unfollow n block button r but i shouldnt have to talk abt my abuse to strangers online like this to prove to ppl i have a valid reason to wanna keep my distance from my triggers 2 i hate talking abt my ex

this blog is abt me connecting w new ppl in a new community it upsets me to know im forever sick bc of her that she forever changed me for the worse but this blog is me tryna change that mindset my ibs n gerd doesnt have to be a scar she left me w it can be a chance to meet new ppl its a new ch of my life i dont wanna talk abt her here i dont wanna give her more time n attn then i already have

i refuse to defend myself or my boundary this is a blog abt stomach problems ill only talk abt stomach problems if ppl wanna talk abt ptsd n stomach problem abuse n stomach problems trauma n stomach problems etc thats fine but im not gonna talk abt my boundaries or why i have them anymore

#sadhoc #dni #abuse mention

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

I made my book/expose on my abuser and ive already had legal issues with them in the past and idk if im safe with what's written, but ik I have to omit certain information, but idk where to start with who specifically to ask or where to find a lawyer for this, little lost ig... I ended up keeping the genders, but changing ALL the names to fake names, and I made sure that I only spoke in detail of the abuse but I don't think I insinuated anything about where this person lives, true name, school I think im alright but still not sure what to omit. I am in the states.

Hi anon,

So I'm in a very similar situation, and I've spoken to an attorney about this. He explained that a literary lawyer or attorney discusses solely legal things about the paper, whereas a literary agent will secure book deals and advise on writing.

He also recommended looking into SLAPP and anti-SLAPP laws in your area because these can majorly impact your pursuit to publicly hold your abuser accountable. I'm not a legal expert but based on what I learned in journalism class, SLAPP laws are basically defamation or libel laws that are often used against journalists, and they're basically legal gag orders that make it so that you cannot say something negative about a particular person, even if what you're saying is true. This is also why anti-SLAPP laws exist (because it doesn't really make sense and you should be able to hold people accountable). But the entire process of SLAPP vs anti-SLAPP can be complicated, arduous, and costly.

The thing is that if you really want to go ahead and make your expose public, even if you omit identifying details, you would still have a legal risk. The US judicial system has determined that even if you do not name or identify your abuser in any way, you can still be sued. And the entire legal process of court appearances, being cross-examined, and legal fees can be retraumatizing as a survivor.

I believe that you and I should be able to publish our exposes without fear of being gaslit, scrutinized, sued, silenced, hurt, or killed. But the social climate, at least in the US, is not safe. Kayla Hayes had to move states after she came out with her book because her abuser conspired with fellow inmates to harm her. What you choose to do should ultimately be up to you, but it's imperative to carefully consider the risks.

Personally, my therapist and I have been working on figuring out what to do with my expose, which is currently 350 pages. We've agreed that I will share my expose with people I trust and put strict privacy settings around it, which also means that I do not have to omit anything. We also agreed that if I do want to make some kind of public statement, that it will be a brief and vague summary that centers me instead of my abuser. You obviously don't have to do this, but it could be something to consider. This way, you don't have to censor yourself in your expose, you can feel safe knowing that only people you trust can access it, and that it won't end up in the wrong hands (people that may gaslight, sue, or pose a threat to your safety).

If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist could help you process your trauma and figure out what decision would be best for your safety and healing.

I hope I could help and I wish you the best of luck. Please know that we're here for you if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks

[pinkopalina]

things about higurashi that just hit different after you've watched everything a few times: (major spoilers lol)

the way mion has to play shion and the way shion has to play mion. true-shion is so soft and gentle and got SUCH A RAW FUCKING DEAL!!! the way she took her older sister's role and it was an accident! the way they switched later in life so their personalities were set when "mion" got the tattoo! the way "mion" is a tomboy who has a cute side but that's just because she's shion! the way true-mion plays shion as a sweet soft lady SO WELL but then gets SO HARDENED bc she's so crass and has that attitude. i feel like true-shion has a harder time playing mion than true-mion has playing shion lol.

the way gou has two whole arcs with a different perspective and then the second season, sotsu, completely spins both of them on their heads because satoko was a secret looper the whole time. the way it makes you question if satoko was secretly a looper in higurashi 2006!!! the way it was always aliens, always, from the start, so it makes you wonder how far in advance some of these plot twists have been planned. the way every time they release a new iteration in japan, they change something, so you're experiencing countless loops the way rika does. hundreds of the exact same event but sometimes itty bitty little things change.

the way everyone starts remembering their old timelines. the way i WONDER if they could all ever become loopers some day!!! let rena loop!!! AAAAAAAA

the way rena knows the truth and tells you it's aliens but she sounds crazy so you never believe her. the way they tell you everything at the end of higurashi 06 but they're unreliable narrators bc they don't know the truth and they call the aliens demons. gooooooddddddddddddddddddd

the way satoko endlessly tortures rika because the in-canon reason is . fuck how do i even explain umineko. or ciconia. i havent even experienced those things but i know the author of higurashi has like 5 different works that are all converging universes, so satoko and rika in higurashi are lambdadelta (satoko) and frederika (hehe. rika) bernkastle in umineko and lambda is a witch and she used her powers to change universes bc of her obsession with rika (bernkastle) bc she's still just as competitive and manipulative there and it's crazy like ITS FUCKING CRAZY.

i cant even think a sentence ahead and ryu07 is out here thinking like 2 decades in advance

THE WAY THE WATANAGASHI FESTIVAL IS BEFORE SATOKO'S BIRTHDAY. HER BIRTHDAY IS JUNE 24!!!! SO RIKA CONSTANTLY DIES A DAY OR TWO BEFORE HER BEST FRIEND'S BIRTHDAY, OVER AND OVER AGAIN. HOW MANY TIMELINES DO WE KNOW ARE DOOMED BECAUSE WE NEVER GET TO HER BIRTHDAY! THE WAY THE STORY IS ABOUT CHILD ABUSE. IF SATOKO ISN'T OKAY THEN NOBODY IS OKAY. AND SHE'S NOT OKAY BC WE FAILED CHILDREN!!! IM FUCKED UP

the way the story and perspective changes between arcs, so you're just as confused as the characters are. the way some of them remember some things over time so it's not just the fragmented world that starts converging, it's also the worlds within those fragments. something fucking HUGE is gonna happen in higurashi i just know it

the way satoko is angry with rika for leaving her, and uses their friends as a reason rika shouldnt leave, but satoko murders her friends and doesnt care when the friends she doesnt murder get left behind and have a ton of traumatic cosmic debt because theyve been sole survivors for hundreds of years. the way satoko is a total hypocrtie but she does want to stop at some point but she cant because of lambda. god im torn over this

[pensarecool2]

Sometimes I would like to believe that people lying about trauma or being systems was just an internet thing for attention, but its not. Like there are people who will make up the wildest shit in person and act like its real, and its kind of an issue. A lot of times people who make this shit up for attention are also manipulators and/or compulsive liars. I was like “oh maybe I can make a post about how these people are just looking for attention online” because i forgot my ex existed. Then I remembered my ex existed.

I do NOT support fakeclaiming, especially regarding people over the internet that you do not know. You cannot know someone from shit they post online. Click to read a few examples of shit my abusive ex would make up.

I used to date someone who claimed to be a system and by the time we broke up I found out that most of the “trauma” she claimed to have was completely fabricated. I’m not going to go into the whole thing right now because there is A LOT and I don’t want to get into it right now but traumatic things she lied about include but are not limited to;

having a dead twin sister (sister never existed)

having various allergies (she claimed most alters were deathly allergic to numerous things (most prominently peanut butter, but there were certain alters who could safely consume it without issue) sometimes she would make a big deal about eating something small with peanut butter and commenting how it felt weird, and how it was red/had a rash/was swollen (there would be nothing visually but she was convincing enough that others would believe it) and she would cause just enough drama to get attention, but also try to avoid hospitalization cause she was fine

being a heart cancer survivor (she never had cancer) she also claimed her dead twin died of cancer and gave her her heart. she explained having no scar from a goddamn heart transplant by just saying she used scar cream(no?) and that because they were twins and a perfect match that she didn’t have to take medication for the organ transplant

having a dead daughter (she never had a child) im pretty sure the photos she had on her phone were just a couple stock photo images of some random little girl. they looked like stock photos

being muslim and facing discrimination (she had like one alter that was muslim and also very transphobic so I think it was an excuse to be transphobic) whenever she would say some shit that was really transphobic, she would dismiss it as this alter

being native American and facing cultural erasure (she was white and would just mash up different native American cultural practices she heard of, but a lot more often than the native American thing she did it with claiming to be asian/korean??????) the phrase “i am the whitest asian you’ll ever meet” was basically one of her catchphrases along with “im 60% percent korean” and i know white-passing people exist but also she would describe the rest of her family as asian or even having an accent but the rest of her family was also very white

she also claimed to be a recovering addict (nothing outside of sometimes claiming this indicated this, and she would mock actual recovering addicts)

lied about having miscarriages

would make numerous claims about being a victim of sexual assault and like extreme violence (even if this was true, which it probably wasn’t due to how contradictory the stories would get, its hard to believe she went through this especially after finding out most of the other things she said were completely made up and fake. it was also just really graphic)

People who make shit up for attention can cause harm when done offline. It can be combined with manipulation, and in general, just shows how shitty of a person you are. Do not claim experiences you do not have.

#tw fakeclaiming #endos do not interact #transid do not interact #the squid system 🦑 #🦑 lore #blurry ❓🦑 #vent #vent post #vent tag #syscourse

[fireinmywoods]

Can you explain trauma Kirk has in the cheating scene? Im new to star trek

Welcome!!! I hope you stick around for a while and become fully assimilated into the strange, delightful glory that is Trek fandom.

I can only speak for myself, but when I talk about Jim’s trauma, I’m referring to two main components (under the read-more for discussion of childhood abuse and Tarsus):

1. Jim’s abusive childhood

There’s a deleted scene from Jim’s childhood in the first movie in which his older brother Sam is shown running away from home. It‘s made clear that the “man of the house” Frank is at the very least verbally and emotionally abusive to both kids, and based on baby Jimmy’s reaction to Frank getting in his face, I don’t think it’s a stretch to imagine that it had or would later escalate to physical violence.

[Note: Because AOS and especially the extended universe are a hot mess, some pseudo-canon sources describe Frank as their uncle (Winona’s brother) while others have him as their stepfather. I’ve gone with stepfather, because I think it better explains why they stayed in that situation as long as they did.]

Sam says their mom doesn’t understand how Frank treats them when she’s not around (i.e., off-planet with Starfleet), which makes the case for a certain amount of neglect as well. Then there’s the AOS tie-in comic Operation: Annihilate, which shows the aftermath of the car incident, and in which Winona is pretty grossly depicted as an enabler of Frank’s abuse, telling Jimmy that Frank just gets mad sometimes and that he basically needs to suck it up and live with it. For the record, this comic is not part of my personal canon, as I think the exchange I’m describing is lazily characterized and does Winona unnecessarily dirty. (“He’s given us a home” - motherfucker, it’s a post-scarcity economy and you work for Starfleet! Get a goddamn apartment!) That said, I do think Winona bears significant responsibility for leaving her kids in that situation, since the most charitable read is that she wasn’t paying enough attention to realize how Frank was treating them. (I know at least one of my fandom friends disagrees on this point, and I’ll acknowledge that I have a dirty lens when it comes to childhood abuse and the enabling thereof. Your mileage may vary.)

Anyway. In this version of events, Jimmy doesn’t steal the car because he’s some innately shitheaded out-of-control rebel like the final cut suggests. In fact, Sam’s exposition tells us that up until this point Jimmy has been an exceptionally obedient, rule-following, “good” child. Here, he steals the car because Sam leaving and his own realization that he’s never going to be good enough to make Frank happy makes something in him snap. It’s a powerful moment which greatly enhances Jim’s characterization, and if you ask me it’s frankly criminal that they deleted this scene.

2. Tarsus IV

TOS Kirk is a canonical survivor of a famine and genocidal massacre on the colony Tarsus IV. Here again canon is a bit of a mess when it comes to Tarsus IV, and fanon has taken that canon and gone absolutely hog wild with it, but it is firmly established that Jim was just 13 at the time, which...woof. That’s dark as hell.

Now, it is not official AOS canon that this version of Jim was on Tarsus IV at the time of the massacre, but it’s also not official that he wasn’t. My take, which I think is shared by many in fandom, is that AOS Jim was sent there to live with family after the car incident as a sort of “get your head straight” move, and also (in my opinion) because Winona finally started cluing in that it probably wasn’t a great idea to leave him alone with Frank.

The TOS extended universe further establishes that Jim was understandably pretty messed up after the events of Tarsus, and that his father’s intervention was crucial to helping him recover and setting him on the path toward Starfleet and the Enterprise. In AOS, of course, George isn’t around to provide that support, and Jim’s already learned that he can’t rely on his mom, and he’s maybe stuck living with fucking Frank again. All of this builds on his earlier trauma in really terrible ways, and he never has the opportunity to actually heal from any of it.

Aftermath: PTSD and the cheating scene

Again, the abuse and Tarsus IV are both semi-canonical at best. However, I’d argue that they should be considered canon, because Jim’s character arc makes a lot more sense when they’re included. This double whammy of unresolved trauma and the almost total absence of emotional support go a long way toward explaining how the boy who grows up to be TOS Kirk in one timeline instead grows into the Jim Kirk we meet at the bar in 2255 of the Kelvin timeline - a “repeat offender,” reckless, directionless, emotionally detached, quick to meet violence with violence, and so very, very angry.

That’s why the scene where Spock lays into Jim for cheating on the Kobayashi Maru is so painful to me. Jim is up on display at the front of this hall, being stared at by basically everyone he knows, and Spock is criticizing him for missing the point of the exercise - specifically, lecturing him about needing to experience fear and control his reaction to it. Imagine how that would land for someone with as much trauma as Jim is carrying, who endured all he did as a powerless child, and who (in my telling of things) suffers to this day from panic attacks as a result. It’s, uh...it’s not great.

#maybe someday i'll actually finish jim's prequel and this will become clearer #in the meantime have a bunch of words in some semblance of order #fic related #kirk #star trek #aos #ask #anon

[unwelcome-ozian]

Idk if you will be able to give me advice, but I feel like there might be a chance you have some ideas/tips.

So first some info: Me and my partner moved together in april this year, for me it was the chance to finally fully cut ties to my biological parents (Ive got a new phone nr, they dont know where we live etc..) and for him to get out of the abusive household. Gis stepfather is very, very emotionally abuse and his mother has expierienced childhood abuse and takes his stepfathers side at all time, because "he is her partner and he [my partner] has no saying in how she should behave" and is also extremely toxic if not even abusive.

My partner truly believes, that he is "just weak" and its fault anyways that his stepfather behaves the way he does and that his mother is right and that he should just get "stronger". Two years ago, his stepfather got a police record regarding domestic violence thanks to me calling the police on him (which lead to his stepfather thereatening me, that if i come close or enter the house, he will call the police, after 4-5months i had to "say sorry about the shit i did" and he explained his behavior eith him being abused as a young child and anger is just the way he deals with that and that therapy is bs and he allowed me again to come by), vecause he scared my partner so much, he locked himself up in the bathroom and sent me voicemessages being scared and you could hear the stepfather in the background.

Now because of christmas coming up, I asked my partner to talk to his psychiatrist on how to handle christmas family dinner with his family. About a year ago, his psych recommended not talking to the stepfather/cutting ties to him. Now the psych said, if he agreed on coming to the dinner he has to go. I can see how he would say that we cant figure stuff out in such short notice, but I kinda feel like because his psych said that, my partner is bow even more in the mindset of "im just weak and overreacting". Because I asked hom earlier today, that Id love him to explain to his psych, whats going on in his head regarding his parents and he just went like: "But what if I am weak and not going would just be avoiding the situation and avoiding isnt good?" And I try to explain to him, that he isnt weak, that he is quite the opposite of it and avoiding toxic/abusive people isnt bad, its taking care of yourself and he is immediately overwhelmed by me saying that.

And Im actually concerned, because he cant (and doesnt want to) talk about trauma stuff atm, especially because he just started his apprenticeship and school in summer, which i can totally understand, that one would wait after that, so it wont mess with that, but at the same time it also cant really be an option to just make him run into his abusers arms and just stay in that spiral and just work on being able to be kinda stable and not fall back into the depression and at the same time keep up the contact (he doesnt have to cut ties, but like maybe get some distance/only meet for things that are 100% needed) to people who will drag him down and just keep up all those mindsets and belives that might hold him down and destabilize him in the long run?

Maybe Im just wrong because Im not in the same situation, but I feel like because my partner isnt able to truly communicate his thoughts and feelings to his psych, the psych cant fully grasp whats going on/what happens actually and it worries me.

I obv. cant explain the whole thing into every detail, but those are the most important points and I really hope you can share your thoughts regarding that.

Am I maybe the one not seeing something here? Like I dont want to make any weird assumptions that might be wrong, but due to my own experiences as well as what Ive learned, Im quite concerned and Im not sure what to do.

Feeling angry is never a reason to be abusive, being a survivor of abuse isn’t a reason to be abusive, and if someone thinks therapy is bs that’s fine, but it isn’t another excuse to be abusive. These are excuses to not take responsibility for his behaviour.

Psychiatrists aren’t gods. If your partner doesn’t want to go they don’t have to go. People are allowed to change their minds.

I don’t view it as avoiding, I view it as setting boundaries and taking care of one's personal wellbeing.

It’s also acceptable if he can’t and doesn’t want to talk about trauma. It’s his healing journey, and his pace is a pace he feels he can manage.

It is an option for him to return to his abusers, he has several options to choose from. Some of them you may not like, he may not like but, are ultimately his to make.

It sounds like he may want to consider speaking with his psychiatrist, or consider looking for another one.

The psychiatrist’s/therapy office is supposed to be a space where he can work towards expressing himself, feel safe, held in high esteem, accepted, and able to explore his past without fear of judgement.

If your partner feels uncomfortable talking with the psychiatrist perhaps he should tell them that. A psychiatrist should be willing to hear that.

What your partner wants to share with his psychiatrist is up to them. It’s their space and their relationship and should be honoured.

I encourage you to set boundaries regarding what you need to feel safe, stable, and emotionally healthy.

I’m uncertain what country you reside in, if it’s in the US psychiatrists tend to be more medication oriented and not therapy focused. Visits with psychiatrists tend to be 15min, while therapy sessions are 50min.

I say this as I’m uncertain as to how long your partner is seeing the psychiatrist.

Oz

#answers to questions #therapy #Christmas ask

[gullethead]

what is your opinion on tamsyn muir discourse (and also what is the discourse)

THANK you. okay warning for discussion of fictional sexual assault, real life CSA (not something she did), plus 2012-era homestuck fandom typical stuff

please rb this btw, unless you dont want to, in which case dont. also if you have any corrections or additional information to consider please add by all means

disclaimer: im not in the habit of writing essays defending whichever internet personalities i like. ill admit theres potential bias, given that i read the books before i learned about this, but im really being as objective as possible and i just think people are taking a misguided or half-formed stance on this. if you still dislike her or w/e after this thats, like, perfectly in your rights. im not defending an adult woman on the internet, im explaining the facts as ive seen them and understand them. additional disclaimer that i havent experienced sexual assault at all myself

okay so tamsyn muir is currently well-known as the author of the locked tomb trilogy (aka gideon the ninth and harrow the ninth), but for a certain section of tumblr shes also well known as urbanAnchorite, and used to be a big name fan on here up until around 2014 - pretty close to everything here is going to be from roughly 2011 through 2014, except for an interview im gonna get into, so 7-10 years ago. i was only vaguely aware of her until after i got into the locked tomb and saw people talking about this. with that in mind:

so the MAJORITY of the discourse revolves around a single fic she wrote on AO3. her account has 19 works in homestuck, and some of them are Kinda Weird to Pretty Bad in retrospect, but being completely honest this is the only one that isnt completely stock standard for homestuck fandom in that time period. like if we started casting stones about ten year old fandom stuff we'd be here all day

here is the fic (warning for CSA)

in most of the posts about it ive seen, theyve described it as a "rapefic," but actually reading it, it's a lot more nuanced than that description implies. its a dark story where a grown man abuses a girl, from the man's perspective, and the story ends with him being killed by her friend. the description of the assault is treated very seriously by the story and barely even touches on any actual sex, before immediately cutting to him being killed. its lolita if humbert got shot to death; the title itself comes FROM lolita

(sidenote - it was inspired by a prompt on kinkmeme, but that doesn't really mean anything vis a vis being intended for sexual enjoyment, and according to the note actually went against the spirit of the request)

ive seen fics, lots and lots of fics, that would qualify as the term "rapefic." it tends to be pretty fucking obvious when someone is using sexual assault as a fetish, and this is Not That

tamsyn herself actually responded to this in an excellent interview early last year. she gets into some Fandom Mom type language, but essentially says what i said above. in it, she also says this:

It’s not the first time I’ve been accused of being a paedophile. I grew up gay in the nineties. Homosexuality and paedophilia were enmeshed in society’s minds. When I came out, I got told that I shouldn’t be around children. I was used to that because it was common discourse, and it hurt like all hell, but it didn’t shock me. When I got called a paedophile by Twitter I got clotheslined. My support network had to get in pronto. I was very ready to have a hot date with a length of rope, a date I have arranged and cancelled multiple times over my life. I have had lots and lots of therapy over the years for various conditions, some of them lifelong and some not, but when that Twitter call-out happened it was hard to want to live. I thought I knew so intimately what I was doing with my fiction; my therapist was always so supportive of me writing about it. I have not been open about being a CSA survivor because, again, I grew up in the ‘90s. ‘Lesbian’ and ‘CSA survivor’ is just carte blanche so a whole queue of people can tell you, I HOPE ONE DAY, WITH LOVE AND SUPPORT, YOU CAN BE STRAIGHT. It was like, right this way to the invalidation booth. I didn’t even tell most of my girlfriends! I told one! It’s not a topic of discussion between me and my family; I am relying on them not reading my interviews so it can remain where it belongs: thoroughly undiscussed!

with this context it becomes... a lot more nuanced of a topic. an author who experienced CSA in addition to growing up in a cultural climate where gay people were pedophiles by default, especially growing up catholic in a rural community, wrote a work about childhood sexual assault (which also happened to be fanfiction) as a way of working through it for herself, which is... something a lot of artists do with their art? and in return she got a massive blowback on twitter accusing her of pedophilia and demanding she talk about a massively traumatic moment in her life

this is the major sticking point of the discourse, im not gonna get into anything else on this post, but this is my view of it. if you disagree or have anything to add then feel free to add on. again, i know what it looks like, but im not trying to uncritically defend a stranger just cause i like her book. this is the conclusion i came to after doing a lot of digging for myself

#the locked tomb #tamsyn muir #also by the by im not an 'anti-anti' or whatever so go fuck yourself in advance and log off. please #i think theres nuance to be had in that conversation but its not whatever the fuck that is

[sery-chan-13]

Childish

Niragi Suguru

So, a recent comment left by someone made me realize that there isn't many stories where the reader has a little space. I mean, I've noticed it as a person with one, so... yeah!

A quick explination for those of you that don't know what a little space is: A little space is when a person age regresses due to trauma. This could be situations from abuse to having to be an adult when you were a child. People use it to cope with all sort of trauma however(yes, being in a car crash, near death experiences etc. Etc.) When they age regress it can be to any age as well. Although a lot of people age regress to smaller ages (personally, my friend's little spaces (gave me permission to share) are of the ages of 4,5,7, and 3. I, of course, did research on how others experience it, but am mostly going off of how I personally experience my little space!

Warnings: blood, weapons, swearing, harassment(none done by Niragi towards the reader), soft Niragi things because I can't write his character canonly for the life of me-

Side note: there's a whole headcanon thing from I think @aceofspadegrass ? here on tumblr where there's pancakes on Fridays only and everyone goes nuts over it? Yeah, that inspired a section of this-

Niragi didn't know why he felt protective over you. You were just another girl at the beach. But he was protective over you since the first day he met you. It was a quick attachment on your side as well, feeling safe and protected around him. Although, you knew of his interest in you, you didn't want to bring attention to yourself. You already did by accidentally regressing in places around the beach. Or maybe being a bit to childish for your age. It wasn't your fault. You couldn't help it. And Niragi understood. That's why you were with him most of the time. He didn't mind your clingy or childish nature. No, he told you he thought you we cute for needing him so much. And you liked it when he called you cute. You felt safe.

You sat in the small field behind the beach, picking up dandelions and weaving them together into a crown. You kept humming quietly to yourself as you did. "What are you doing there princess?" You heard someone ask from behind you. It was Niragi. You knew his voice, you knew him. And you would never ever mistake his voice for someone else's. It was impossible. You smiled widely, showing him the bright yellow flower crown. He nodded, crouching down besides you. "Don't you have games tonight?" You questioned him, placing the flowers on his head. He looked at you, and up at the crown now placed on his head. He went to grab it off, but you grabbed his hand, interlocking your fingers with his. You pouted at the fact he was going to take it off, and he kissed your hand, muttering an apology of sorts into your hand. "Yeah. And so do you," he whispered. Neither of you wanted to be separated for the games, but you also didn't want to be in a game where there could only be one survivor. Of course, you didn't get to decide when you two would oand wouldn't play together, but it was so hard to not want to leave his side, but also not want to be the one left alive after a game. He had told you before that if it was a game where there could only be a sole survivor, you would be leaving. And that scared you. You couldn't think of life without Niragi caring for you, or giving you sweet words. After he met you, he started hating the fact he knew what others felt when they were waiting for their partners to get back. Now, you two had never really established what you two were, but you were really hoping he felt the same, because confessing was already stressful enough for you. You didn't want him to leave you alone.

"Niragi-"

"(Y/N)-"

You both spoke at the same time, making you laugh. "I'm going first. Because...yeah. You're mine, right?" He asked, looking at you. His dark eyes met your own, and you looked down. "W-whadya mean by that...?" You questioned, still looking away. He tilted your head to the side making you look at him. "You're mine, right? Mine means mine," he repeated. You understood what he was saying. "I'm yours, pinkie promise!"

You whimpered, clutching onto his shirt in pain. "Owie...  hurts," you whined. "I know sweetheart, I know," he whispered into your ear, glaring at all the people who looked at you weird as he carried you up to his room. More like your shared room, because you slept in there more than in your actual room.

You had gotten hurt during the game. This time, Niragi was there to help you. Some asshole had tried to use you as a shield, and you ended up getting hurt. Niragi quickly got rid of them, making sure to protect you.

He sat you on the bed, and watched you to make sure you didn't get hurt. " 'Shiya can help, can't he?'' You said, hissing in pain when you tried to move your leg. "No. That bastard isn't putting his hands on you. You're my princess," he stated. "Yours, I pinkie promised!" You reminded. You kicked your leg on reflex, and almost screamed in pain. "It hurts... pwease get 'im?" You begged, giving him the puppy dog eyes. He scowled, and then reluctantly nodded. "I would much rather you go to Ann though," he said, kissing your forehead. "But she has dead bodies down there... 's scary," you explained. "Yeah yeah.... I know sweetheart. Still... can you try and be brave?" He asked. You thought for a second, before nodding. "I can be brave!" You shouted. "But only for you," you mumbled.

It was your favorite day if the week. Not only was it Friday, and you got pancakes for breakfast, but it was also suply run day. At leat you got pancakes this week. Last week you gave them to Aguni because he helped you with one of your plants that was dying. Niragi was very confused on why you were crying over a plant, until Aguni gave him the look. You know, the dad look? The scary one when a boy goes home to pick up the daughter, and the dad is just giving the the look? Yeah, that's all it took for Niragi to leave it. And the week before you gave them to Last Boss because he got Niragi during one of your panic attacks. So that was no pancakes for two weeks. You were hoping nobody would guilt trip you or threaten you about you giving them your pancakes. It had happened before, and it would definitely happen again.

Niragi usually took you with him, unless they were going to a place he thought you would be in danger. Along with spending the day with Niragi, not having to wear a skimpy bathing suit, and eating pancakes, Niragi let you take some things back. Most of the times you picked out a stuffie, or a fluffy blanket. He also made sure you had suckers or jolly ranchers. Kuina had even once joked that his room was like a little nest for you.

"What do you mean a nest Kuina?" You questioned tilting your head to the side. "Hmm... have you ever read... no, I probably shouldn't tell you about that... like a bird's nest. The pair build a nest out of things they like so they feel safe and at home. And in the other thing I was going to mention... the... usually it's a girl, so I'm going to go with that. The female builds a nest out of clothes and things that smell like... her partner for neutrality's sake," she explained. You thought about it, and nodded slowly. ''I guess you could say that. I like the things that smell like him. Make me feel safe 'n warm," you giggled.

"Am I going with you today?" You asked him, having your fingers crossed behind your back. He nodded.

''You are st-"

"Staying right by your side or within arms reach. I know!" You interrupted, giggling at his worry. Although he wouldn't outwardly say it, you knew it was worry. "Good girl. Such a smart girl you are," he cooed. You smiled at the praise hugging him tightly. "Gi-gi..." you muttered. "Hm? What's up?" He asked. "Thank you."

You fell asleep on the way there, making Niragi be twice as much on edge. He was in the passenger seat, and you were in the back. Of course, you looked cute as always, but that's kind of what was the problem. He kept glancing back to make sure you were still there, and nothing was going on with you and the other people in the car.

"She's Niragi's girl, I wouldn't do that," he heard someone whisper in the back seat. He glared, glancing back for a second. "I don't really care... no rules, as he likes to say," he heard the other whisper back. This made him scowl in anger. You were his. And no one would dare fucking touch you. How dare this person try something while he's right in front of them. "S-suguru," you whined, still sleeping. He turned back, and glared at the person besides you. Their hand was on your inner thigh, high above where it should be. It shouldn't even be on you. "Hands off her. Now," he growled, his hand twitched trying to not reach for his gun and shoot the person. The other stared back defiantly, their hand going higher. He heard you whine his name again in your sleep. At least you were dreaming of him. But he was going to have to deal with this person. While they were next to you, he couldn't do much, as he didn't want to dirty your clothes. You had picked them out specifically for today. Specifically for him. And your beautiful face would get blood on it, he didn't want that. You looked too cute to get ruined by this person's blood all over you. "Stop the car," he told the driver. They did so, knowing that Niragi was not one to spare those who angered him. Especially when he was already pissed off. "You, out. Now. Since you think you're so good, come out here. If you're so confident, you'll be fine, no?" He asked, scowling at the man.

You stirred in your sleep, making Niragi cautious of what he did. Sure, you knew he had killed, and would continue to do so, but he never did it in front of you. If you happened to be in the room, or space, he would tell you to shut your eyes, cover your ears, and sing a little song until he came back. And you did. You were always pretty good about doing so, not wanting to trouble him with a possible panic attack. (He never minded helping you through them, and wished you would understand that.) But right now, you were asleep. And he couldn't tell you to do that.

The person got out of the car, staring at the gun. "Like that's fair," they muttered. Niragi rolled his eyes. "Life's not fair, get over it," he groaned. The person cracked their knuckles, and Niragi laughed. Like they could hurt him, he had a gun.

Boy was he wrong.

Of course, by the end, the person was no longer an issue. Dead most likely. And if not, to suffer from now until their slow, painful death. Niragi had not gone unscathed, however. The person had gotten in a few punches, making Niragi bleed.

"Fuck..." he groaned, wiping away the blood. The driver started driving again, and he heard you start to wake up.  He turned in his seat, seeing you yawn, and strech. "Mornin' " you muttered. "Good morning sweetheart," he said. You rubbed your eyes, and looked at him.

"Gi-Gi! You're bleeding! You ok? Hurt? What's wrong?" You panicked, reaching out to touch him. He pushed your hands back. He didn't want your hands dirty with that disgusting person's blood. "I'm fine, you worry about yourself for now."

You held onto his hand, swinging both his and yours arms back and forth as you two walked through the abandoned mall.

"And... that's the last thing on we needed. Which shop do you want to go to now?" He asked you. You smiled widely, tugging at his hand. "Stuffies stuffies stuffies!" You giggled. He laughed, "Alright, alright. Calm down first, and we'll see what we can find."

He was always kind to you. Maybe it was the fact that you didn't make him feel alone. The fact that he didn't want to be seen as a monster by you, even if he knew he was. He could pretend. He could pretend this was back in the normal world, and that the borderlands never happened. That he had really met you at the coffee shop he went to every morning, and not during a game where you almost died. He could pretend and lie to himself that he was a good person when he was with you. Because if you left him, or even worse, you died... he knew he would go back to being alone.

And you felt safe around him. Maybe it was the fact he saved you during the game you two met in. The fact he wasn't weirded out the first time you had regressed. You loved him. Even if you knew of all the people he's killed or the things he's done. He hadn't left you to die. He hadn't hurt you, and something told you he wouldn't. He trusted you, and you trusted him. And as long as there was the feelings of love, saftey, understanding, and trust, you'd stay. This meant you'd always be with him, because there was not a doubt in your mind those feelings would always be there.

Yay, first one done! I hope you enjoyed, and please always remember to stay hydrated, and eat because you deserve it! ♡♡♡♡

#alice in borderland #niragi #×reader #fluff #🎶please don't kill me i just want to include diverse things in my writing🎶 #i will write more for the rest after work tomorrow #promise

[gizkasparadise]

What would you recommend for dramas to start watching? I've only seen Moon Lovers, but I liked it!

ha! moon lovers was my first one too, it’s hilarious to me how many of us started with that one :D WELCOME TO THE PIT

i’ll break it down to top 5 kdramas, top 5 cdramas, favorites im currently watching, and If You Liked Moon Lovers. the names of the dramas link to the reviews or powerpoints i’ve made for them!

TOP 5 KDRAMAS

mystic pop-up bar. found family story that features a hundreds-year old shaman who is cursed to help humans achieve their dreams (in a literal sense), a retired ghost cop turned sous chef, and a sensitive boy who’s got a lot of feelings (mostly from other people). they run a bar, fight ghost crime, and end up becoming True Family and my heaaaaaart

chicago typewriter. reincarnation story that pans between the lifespans of three True Companions between modern times and 1930s, Japan-occupied Korea. we got La Resistance, spies and snipers, love stories, ghosts, and a golden retriever. a fantastic show from start to finish, great if you’re into tragic friendships and second chances with a healthy dose of romance on the side. slow start, but once it gets going hot damn

welcome to waikiki. lol in my COMBO BREAKER move, welcome to waikiki is essentially a sitcom about three dudes who run a hostel/bed and breakfast called waikiki. they end up taking in a single mom, and shenanigans spiral from there. i think of it as chaotic good in tone, the same way it’s always sunny in philadelphia is chaotic evil. i laughed my ass off, and the main male lead (dong gu) is probably my favorite male lead

he is psychometric. build-a-bear meets CSI. an arsonist attack leaves lee ahn an orphan and also psychometric--meaning he can read the memories of objects and people with skin-to-skin contact. he uses this ability to team up with jae in, whose father was the convicted suspect of the arson, another survivor of the fire, and a Plucky Detective to reopen the case. one of the softest, sunshine-y male leads and then like. a total mindfuck of a plot twist in the last 4 eps

arthdal chronicles. you’ll either love or hate this one :’D. i love it!!! fantasy-ish, set in a pseudo bronze age era. there is so much to explain on this one, so just check out My Review. 

TOP 5 CDRAMAS

le coup de foudre. soft, slice-of-life story that follows a group of 5 mains (which make up 2 couples + a da chuan) from high school to working life. i’ve got such a weakness for this one because it has so many tropes i love. based on the author/screenwriter’s real life relationship with her husband

go ahead. found family: the series. slice-of-life story that follows two single dads, and their three “children” as they grow up and navigate life. tackles issues like toxic parenting, grief, insomnia/depression, emotional abuse, abandonment, etc. and the relationships between the pseudo-siblings and Primary Dad are beautiful. there’s some flaws, but i haven’t seen a drama like this before and it was so good

love and redemption. omg this show is pure crack, but WHAT A RIDE. i describe it to people as inuyasha if it was on speed. this. show. has. everything. star-crossed lovers, reincarnation, demons, heaven, hell, a merman who owns a magic micro pig. the male lead has more outfit changes than the entire cast combined. surprisingly feminist. NOT heteronormative????????

the romance of tiger and rose. a meta parody that is absolutely chalk full of tropes and focuses on a screenwriter getting stuck in her own wuxia hell of a show. features a murder cat husband

goodbye, my princess. first, if you loved the romantic tragedy of moon lovers YOU GOTTA check this one out. basically a huge, tragic deconstruction of the runaway princess trope. the female lead thinks she’s in a disney movie, the male lead is in game of thrones. this does not end well for either of them. for the days you wanna suffer and be happy about it

THINGS IM WATCHING RIGHT NOW AND REALLY LIKING

kairos. AN ABSOLUTE MINDFUCK. i have no idea what’s going to happen!!! crime/thriller with minimal-to-no romance, but dear god my head spins every ep in a very, very good way

twisted fate of love. time traveling, assassin lady starts dating scheming, ruthless politician. you’ll like if you were into the Edgy Boyfriend aspect of moon lovers

OTHERS IF YOU LIKED MOON LOVERS

hotel del luna. stars IU, and lee joon gi has a fun cameo! ghosts, fabulous outfits

empress ki. kickass heroine, palace politics, unescapable bittersweet ending, love triangle between first love and Unfavorite prince

flower of evil. really has nothing to do with moon lovers, but lee joon gi is there covered in blood and tragically crying

the princess’ man. star-crossed lovers, political backstabbing, palace politics

#asks! #kdrama #cdrama #long post #gizka rec

[llycaons]

I haven't seen the special episode yet and I probably will tomorrow but I completely understand why people dropped this series as it was...a shitshow. and given the poor handling of its subject matter I honest to god thinks this show ends up making the opposite point of what is should and that it actually sends a harmful message to teenage girls wrt authority figures.

I also retract any reccomendation I made of it and I apologize for doing so without finishing it. I really did not expect them to fuck it up this badly

tw for rape, suicide, csa, victim blaming under the cut

I can kind of see their main message (which is very simple - young girls, don't commit suicide, you will regret it, protect yourself) but it's so bogged down with confusing charcterization and choppy editing and baffling plot points that never get explained. the parallel universe thing was easily the least crappy decision the writers made for this show. and given the first episode, that's a massive letdown. the finale explained literally nothing, left a ton of plots open, and made me worry that rika is actually going to get killed and that momoe will never speak to the other girls again and neiru once again got nothing

and most importantly I do not understand the point of having the entire plot for ai build up around the idea that the teacher was grooming both ai and koito, and the heavy implication that he was molesting koito and that led directly to her suicide. but instead the message was "you were paranoid and suspicious and made yourself miserable thinking he hurt your friend but he was actually a nice guy and you were wrong the whole time" when realistically we saw NOTHING that absolved him and we didn't even had enough information about koito to understand why she'd kill herself?? given the fact that teachers and caregivers are the most likely to abuse children, and the difficulty many survivors (especially young teenagers) encounter about coming forward about (especially if they're authority figures) what the fuck kind of shitty cowardly message is that for the audience of presumably young teenage girls? if you suspect an authority figure but your mom likes him, then that means he's a safe person and you've been silly this whole time and also your friend who killed herself was a bad friend?? WHAT??

the fact that younger girls (like rika) see no problem with having a romance with a teacher is exactly part of why this mindset should not be encouraged and im baffled why, in-universe, the teacher got away with everything he may have done just bc the writers decided ai made up her own problems and doesn't need attention anymore and just has to "believe". like of course she needs attention! everyone does! you can't just decide not to want attention, you're only starving yourself and setting yourself up to fail! christ!

and I was lighter on criticizing how they portrayed sexual assault because I thought they'd actually deal with it with ai and koito but since they didn't, I have to say it felt very ugly how they used raped/molested girls and trans boys as angsty plot devices to make their protags look strong and save them. like the entire thing is baffling to the point of offense when you remove the fact that sawaki is just a nice guy who had a normal relationship with the girls even though he canonically had really creepy interactions with both of them. and im not even going to mention the plot they shoved into ep11 that explained literally nothing and made everything more confusing not to mention centered men and male grief for their fridged wife/daughter in a show that's supposed to be ABOUT girls

I am glad I watched this because I really enjoyed the characters (especially momoe and I don't want to detract from how special it was to see an explictly trans girl protag), the animation was beautiful, and I think it had great potential but I am never rewatching it because holy shit how do you mess up the point that fucking badly. I am actually. really angry with what this show did

#I knew my expectations were low but holy shit #'young girls you should ignore your instincts because your teacher is totally trustworthy' #who wrote this #wep lb

[yetanothermammonstan]

Was talking with a friend of mine, @heksedatteren !! who im commissioning a piece of my M/C from!! And they asked what my M/C, Mitsuru, her relationship is like with the brothers!!!!

SO HERE IT IS!!!

Lucifer -

her bestie!!! Mitsuru is very bubbly, and energetic?? And I totally headcanon lucifer as being drawn to those types (bc of mammon being his favorite!!) So she bugs him, and loves to hang out with him, and steal his cloak!!

Mammon -

love of her mf' life!! She instantly, felt safe around mammon, and saw through his "I'll eat you" speech at the beginning of the game?? She was like oh!! Must protect this lean, lanky, low self esteem baby!! They become faaaast besties, and she told mammon she loved him first!!! Because we respect take charge women in this house!!!

Levi -

mitsuru LOVES video games and Manga!! So she instantly wanted to be friends with Levi?? But he was really closed off, reserved and gate-keeper esk with her!! So she eventually snapped at him, and said HEY!!!!! I adore video games, and have been playing them my entire life, I don't have to prove SHIT to you!! So now whenever she wants to gush about cute anime/video game girls, she goes to Levi!!

Satan -

this one, is an interesting one to me!! You'd think, because of her being besties with luci, and Satan being a similar personality they'd INSTANTLY vibe?? But alas!! Satan, was attracted to her upon meeting her, and it grew into love, as he got to know her bubbly energetic chaotic self!! And when he told her, she very softly rejected him, and explained she treasured Satan's feelings, and his relationship with her, but they'd always just be close friends!! And then Satan was a lil awkward weenie around her for a bit!!!

Asmo -

asmo DEFINITELY squicked out mitsuru at first!! She was instantly uncomfortable, and felt twitchy around him?? Which, the EVER SO perceptive asmo figured OUT!! And mitsuru disclosed to asmo, about a past assault, and how she gets jumpy around someone SO forward!! And it was like a SWITCH!! Asno instantly would watch mitsuru in the hallways, and if he noticed people being too close, and her starting to disassociate, he'd get her OUT of there!! Also, mitsuru is 100% a #skincarefiend!!! She has a multi step mostly k beauty skincare routine!!!!!! So amso adores that about her 😌!!

Beel -

instant big brother!! Mitsuru, has an older brother, in the human world. Who shes very close with!! And once beel found out, that she's so far away from her sibling/best friend, he instantly understands!! And he looks out for her!! Mitsuru has chronic pain in her hips, and legs, and uses a cane often!!!! And beel is always the second one beside her, (after mamms!!) When she Collapses or gets dizzy!!! Ready to catch and protecc

Belphie -

I think belphie is the COOLEST relationship for Mitsuru!! Shes 10000% attracted to him, and he is to her!! But, once belphie learned that she's a domestic abuse/assault survivor AFTER what he did to her (rip!!!!!) They had a serious chat, where mitsuru said flat out, she had the hots for him, but, they would never work together. With his guilt, and her trauma she carries, she'd never be able to fully 10009% trust him, and give herself to him!! BUT ALSO, Belphie and mitsuru are BOTH the babies of their families??? So MAJOR brats together!! Also, belphie always LOVES teasing mammon, saying he'll steal his girl. But everyone knows where her heart belongs!!

🔥🔥🔥🔥!!!!

#obey me shall we date #obey me #obey me mammon #obey me lucifer #obey me satan #obey me leviathan #obey me belphegor #obey me asmo #obey me beel #personal #Mitsuru posting

[supportivespaceforsurvivors]

tw abuse) i just got in a new relationship after getting out of a very abusive one with my ex a year ago. my new bf is perfect, hes sweet and kind and funny and listens to my problems and obeys my boundaries. but i cant trust it. my ex was this way at first too. im so scared this is going to turn into that again. i want to have a normal relationship without fear but im so scared, and i dont want to open up. how do i do this? he doesnt know what my ex did.

Hey anon,

This reaction completely makes sense. It’s really hard to adjust from being in an abusive relationship of any kind to one that’s healthy. I went through the same exact thing when I was younger and my mom’s boyfriend moved in with us--he wasn’t my father, and he didn’t try to be, but I was still terrified that it would change. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

When you’ve been in an abusive situation, you learn things you shouldn’t have to. You might learn that signs of irritation will always turn into anger, for example, which is completely understandable if you needed to know when your abuser was going to be angry before it happened. Once you’re out of the relationship, you don’t need to know this anymore, but the learned behavior stays, because it’s kept you safe in the past.

I’m really sorry, because I don’t think this is the answer you want to hear, but the only things that can really help here are communication and time. It’s incredibly hard to build trust with someone in this situation, but it’ll be a lot easier if you explain to him what happened and why you’re having a hard time. He’ll also be able to reassure you that he’s safe, then, and you’ll be able to figure out ways together that you can work on this.

This is going to take a lot of time. It took my mother over two years to be fully comfortable with her now-fiancé after the relationship she had with my father. I promise you will get there, though. I believe in you.

This is an article written by someone who used to be in a similar situation to you about how they learned to trust their next partner. I would suggest reading through all of it, but it contains descriptions of abuse that are very detailed and personal, and therefore could be triggering. I’ll include the parts of the article without that under the cut in case you’d rather avoid it.

I really hope this helps, anon. Please know that we’re here for you.

Stay safe,

Mod Henrie

Getting Answers

I spoke to Ammanda Major, relationship counselor, sex therapist, and the Head of Clinical Practice at Relate, the UK’s largest provider of relationship support, to try to understand why this was happening.

She explained that “the legacy of domestic abuse can be immense. Survivors are often left with trust issues, and in some cases potentially PTSD, but with specialist therapy it can often be managed and people can work through it.”

“One of the key things for moving forward is being able to recognize and ask for your own needs to be met, because in an abusive relationship your needs go entirely unrecognized,” says Major.

Even with therapy, it can be challenging for those coming out of an abusive relationship to recognize the warning signs when the same pattern starts happening again.

“It’s possible to have a good and healthy relationship, but many survivors will struggle to make healthy connections and communicate their needs. They may find that they’re drawn to other people who turn out to be abusive because it’s what they’ve become accustomed to,” says Major.

Other times, survivors don’t want to risk the possibility that abuse could happen all over again.

“Sometimes survivors can’t see themselves in a relationship again. It’s all about trust, and that trust has been broken,” Major says.

The important thing is to learn who you are, especially when you’re alone.

Major says “Although a new relationship can be incredibly healing to some people, the key takeaway and main way to move forward is to try and find out who you are as an individual, rather than as an accessory to your abuser.”

Lessons from Trauma

My responses aren’t all that surprising after spending 2 years constantly on edge. If my ex got annoyed at anyone or anything, it would be me taking the blame.

Even though my new partner is nothing like my old one, I’m preparing myself for the same reactions. Reactions that no loving, stable partner would have.

Major explains, “It’s what we call a traumatized response. It’s the brain telling you that you’ve experienced this before, that you might be in danger. It’s all part of the recovery process, as your brain doesn’t know at first that you’re safe.”

These steps can start the healing process and help rebuild trust:

Find a therapist who specializes in domestic abuse.

Practice breathing techniques to stay calm when things get tough.

Learn how to stay grounded and present during difficult situations.

Recognize and ask for your needs to be met in all your relationships.

Explain your triggers to your partner so they can be prepared.

“It makes a huge difference if your new partner is able to explain, understand, and be supportive,” Major says. “By laying down new experiences to replace the old, traumatic ones, the brain may eventually learn that these situations don’t indicate danger.”

#mod henrie #trauma #tw abuse #ask #answered #anon #relationships