#and i guess i’m being a depressed lazy coward

[comfortfrogblog]

i really be wanting a knight in shining armor to save me from myself and heal my wounds and remind me that im worth something and then i realize i forgot about jesus

#lol #christianity #christian memes #jesus blogging #im really out here clowning around rn and gods up there watching me like🧍‍♂️ #hes like man whens this dumb girl gonna stop missing whats right in front of her🤡🤡 #ion know tbh is tough rn #and i guess i’m being a depressed lazy coward

[cristianfaun]

wattpad extracts

i dont have AO3 because im way lower than dirt.

but i vent on wattpad too, so ill take some of my favorites bits.

“forever fat”

Always fat, forever fat; not that you can't lose the weight, but the way you felt, the way others made you feel will always stay there.

I have always been fat, since my birth, i will probably die fat, but you see, I'm tired of it.

And i know this feel is known by others by so many others, because since I'm fat i was the dummy on gym class, because I'm fat i was the dare of "go say they're pretty", because I'm fat I'm the ugly, the unlovable, the useless, the weak and lazy.

And I'm so tired of it, because you see, bulimia is not the answer but i just feel like i don't even deserve to eat at all, and i still do, like what kind of assholes just goes and pukes what they ate? Just don't eat and give your food for someone else.

I deserve this self hate, i deserve these feelings, and idk why i do. But it just is this way and I'm tired of it.

No, i can't love my fat, and dear god knows i will hate my body if get skinny, because it will no longer be my body, but is what I must do.

I must lose weight, for my health. Because I'm fat I'm pre-diabetic, because I'm fat I'm depressed, because I'm fat I'm anxious, because I'm fat I'm ugly and self-conscious.

Because I'm fat i must go to the gym where i keep lying about my tiredness just to prove I'm capable of being strong.

Because I'm fat i must dress one way or another just to show or not show my fat in a aesthetically pleasing way.

Because I'm fat must stay cool with this feelings and this pressure.

And maybe if it wasn't by my fat aunt, by my fat parents, by my fat family it wouldn't hurt so much, you would think that since we're all fat we would love each other and know we're worthy no matter our weight, but no.

I wish I were enough.

And I'm tired of it.

“I cannot hate you but i wish I didn't resent you”

I still remember when my mother proudly said she was not a lovely mother to me on therapy, she said she never showed love trough words or gifts but works of service, and truly i can't remember a single time you did something truly out of love for me.

Did you love me when you brushed my hair so hard i were crying and you threw the hairbrush to the floor so hard i thought you were gonna hit me?

Did you love me when you yelled at me while hitting me so hard my legs were sore and red for the rest of the day?

Did you love when you complained about every single thing you did for me?

Did you love me when i tried to help and you yelled at me for being useless?

I remember you crying making my dad ask me if I hated you, and i can't hate you, i could never do such thing, but I'm done with loving you, at least i were, i felt a lot of guilt and gratitude for all you did, but i didn't love you, i couldn't love someone like you.

Someone so much like me.

“anger”

I'm not an angry person. I don't think i am. Neither do I really explode but implode.

Don't take me wrong i would not do anything, I'm too much of a coward to do it.

But sometimes i can't help it.

I guess it just reminds me of home, and i want you to break my nose, so i can bite your finger off.

I don't get angry about dumb things, like people being late, or something being slow.

But I'm also done with being done dirty, to my past self, to my present and especially to who i love.

You don't get to say how I felt or how i feel about my past, that's my thing to decide, and you won't call me childish, neither will you make fun of who i was, because i did that and everyone did that too, and I'm done.

I'm done with hating myself just to not hate them.

I'm just waiting for the first punch...

I grew up feeling like a rabid dog

Turns out I'm really one just waiting for the moment i can bite.

“forgive me”

Not here on this church Not here with them I must run I must run away And pray to the god I stopped beliving in To never come back And leave my parents alone For i waited long enough To have this calm

But here in this church While I try not to flinch when my mother puts her hand on my leg Knowing well If I leave I ain't coming back I won't have were to come back I fear you father I fear you mother I fear your god That both of you taught me Is cruel Egocentric And like you Like both of you

And here while the priest says

"God will never leave you"

I cry like Mary once did "He nevera was here" "He didn't kill me when I prayed for it" "He was the excuse to hit me"

"If god is love, I don't want this love"

Fuck off

I'm leaving now

“untitled”

Im not home. There's no place I could call home. In this house with people that hate such an important of me. I wonder if I can leave and never come back I want to cry my eyes out I want to yell at my parents By my life I want to make them cry Like they made me cry All those years telling me I'm a monster Well it's finally true And oh, I hunger for pain And revenge Oh I hunger for blood Oh I hunger I hunger for so much hate And if I get the option to get just drunk enough I will do it just now, leave and go back to my house, with my dog, with my cat And leave

#vent #poetry #sad thoughts #trauma

[all1e23]

Between the Stars [Pt. 2]

Pairings: Past!Steve x Reader, Bucky x  Reader

Summary:  Struggling with the death of your husband, you find comfort in someone unexpected.

Series warnings: CHARACTER DEATH. Grief. Overall sadness. Depression. It’s pretty angsty if I’m being honest. Things mellow out as the series goes on. TW: Military/Spouse death

A/N:  This chapter is strictly Bucky’s POV. If you haven’t figured it out yet each chapter is another month since Steve has been gone. It’s a heavy chapter but the whole series is heavy. No beta and it was lightly edited because I was lazy. As always for this series, flashback are italicized. If you like it write a book report, sing me a song or come scream at me.

***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Reblogs are my jam, though! Thanks!****

“We’ve got two months left. You gonna tell him before we get home or just let him find out after you're gone and really mess with his head?” 

Bucky huffed at the sarcastic tone coloring Sam’s snark. At least Bucky didn’t have to guess what his opinion on the whole situation was. Sam was shouting it loud and clear. Bucky didn’t have much choice regardless of what Sam thought. He let this all go on far too long, and if he didn’t do something, this whole mess would come unraveled and hurt everyone involved. Bucky could deal with the hurt he put on his own heart, but he wouldn’t hurt Steve or Y/n.

This was the only option because Bucky simply couldn’t take it anymore. 

The zipper on Bucky’s rucksack snagged along the way, and Bucky cursed under his breath as the metal teeth stuck leaving the bag half-zipped. He yanked the sides open as best he could and aggressively shoved clean socks, underwear, and shirts into his pack. Thankfully, it wasn’t cold at the moment, so the weight on his back wouldn't be extensive this time around, and according to Steve, it was a short mission. In and out, gather some intel and back in time to lay low until it was time to catch a bird home. 

Going home was the problem, though. 

Bucky could navigate this life. He could handle being a soldier and all that came with it, but being back in the ‘real world’ complicated things, and Bucky had trouble figuring out how to…  exist without bullets flying by his head.

“What do you think is going to happen when you tell him? You’re like his brother, man. He deserves to know that you’re leaving town and the reasons why.” 

Bucky sighed and tossed his ammo pouch down next to his water. Sam and Bucky didn’t always see things eye to eye. It was a bit of give and take, tug of war between the two of them. It usually came down to what things they were willing to say and what they weren’t. Sam liked to talk things through, whereas Bucky would rather let some things die the way they are meant to -- so Bucky said. No need to kick up a fuss when it only ends in three broken hearts with no good reason for it.

“No,” Bucky grunted. “I’m not going to tell Steve, my best friend as you like to remind me repeatedly, that I am in love with his wife and I have to leave because I can’t stand to see them together a second fuckin’ longer. There ain’t no point. Only gonna hurt him and Y/n. It’s easier if I just go.” 

“Easier for who? You didn’t do anything wrong, man. You’ve been in love with her--” 

“Hey!” Steve shouted across tiny space and grinned at the two men sharing whispers. “You boys ready to go? The quicker we get this done, the faster I get to talk to my wife.” 

Bucky watched as Steve tucked a black scarf around his neck, hiding it under his BDU’s and it made Bucky’s stomach twist with something sharp and painful. It was Y/n’s scarf. Bucky knew that. He would recognize it anywhere. Y/n gave Steve one before every tour, and Steve clung to it -- Steve’s good luck charm. Just the sight of the damn thing made Bucky ache. He hated all of this, how he felt. Bucky loathed what he was doing to the two most important people in his life. As much as he wanted to stop, he couldn't. He tried. He tried over and over again. So when Steve mentioned starting a family when they all got back to civilian life, Bucky knew it was time he moved on. 

It wasn’t because he was doing some noble act by allowing the two of them to have a life and family without him interfering. It was purely for him. It was for selfish reasons, and Bucky wasn’t trying to spin it any other way. He had to leave because he couldn’t stand by and watch. 

“It’s easier for everyone. I’ll tell him I’m leaving, but the reason stays between you and me.” 

“Bucky…” 

“Swear on it, Sam. I need to know this doesn’t go past us.” 

Sam sighed but nodded his head. 

“Yeah, okay. It stays between us.”

Sam had been right it turned out.

Bucky should have told Steve the whole truth that day. He deserved to know who Bucky was and what secrets he was hiding from him. Especially after everything they’ve been through. After he asked Bucky to… Bucky shook his head and stared down at the photo in his hand, fifteen years changes a few things. Time adds a bit of wrinkles, a little grey, and maybe a little extra weight, too. Bucky ran his thumb over the photo and shook his head. It all seemed like a lifetime ago. Steve stood next to Bucky, a shy smile on his clean-shaven face and blonde bangs flopped in his eyes. Wasn’t much different from pictures they took not that long ago if he was being honest, only Y/n was on Bucky’s other side, perched on the deck railing and her chin resting on his shoulder. 

He should have been upfront and told Steve what a coward he had for a best friend, and now it was too late to make confessions. 

“What the hell are you doing?”

Bucky looked up over the toe of his boots to find Natasha standing at the foot of his cot, arms crossed and brow arched in the way that said she was disappointed with him. There was a lot to be disappointed by at the moment, so Bucky was unsure what defense he should start with. He tossed the picture on the rickety table next to him and folded his arms behind his head, he was going to play dumb. That was his best chance at getting out of this unscathed. 

“What--” 

“Don’t give that bullshit.”

Okay, that wasn’t going to work. Clearly 

“Have you called Y/n yet? We are set to be airborne in thirty-nine hours, and it’s been two months since the mission. You need to talk to her.” 

That was how Steve was being talked about now. Natasha has refused to say anything else since Steve died. She has called it “the mission” from the moment they came back bloody, broken, and missing a brother.  It had been hard on everyone, but Steve was one of the few people Natasha trusted without a doubt, and she took his loss hard. On the day of Steve’s funeral, Natasha didn’t speak to anyone but somehow ended up with a bottle of scotch and three paper cups. Bucky didn’t ask how she got it. Clint wasn’t about to question the first bit of booze he had seen in over a year. Knowing Natasha Bucky didn’t want to know where it came from and as her superior officer, it was better that he didn’t. 

Not that any of them owed The Army anything anymore. As far as Bucky was concerned, he paid his dues when he watched his best friend bleed out in his arms while he begged Bucky to take care of his wife. 

“I haven’t called her,” Bucky admitted, guilt showing through the tough facade he was putting on. He hadn’t meant to ignore Y/n these past eight weeks. There were roughly thirty unfinished letters wrapped up in his pack, likely to never see the light of day. They were awful and sounded like something you would read in a grief pamphlet. All the things Y/n would hate to hear and every time Bucky reached for the phone to call her, he couldn’t. Bucky didn’t know what to say: I’m sorry. I know I told you I would bring him home and I swore I would protect him with my life, but I didn’t. 

If he could, Bucky would trade places with Steve for Y/n in a heartbeat. It should have been him. It never should have been Steve. Steve was the better half of the pair. Everyone thought so, and Bucky didn’t have someone who loved him waiting on him back home, not the way Steve did. Yeah, his mom and sister would have taken the blow the hardest, but they would have leaned on each other and made it through like they always did. Y/n didn’t have anyone else, and Bucky should have done more to protect her from this. He was standing right there when it happened.  He shouldn’t have walked away and left Steve standing there out in the open--

“You need to talk to her before you go home. At least let her know you’re coming to crash on her couch.” 

“I don’t know what to say to her, Tasha.” 

Natasha stared at him long enough to make him squirm from unease. She had a way of making me feel like an idiot without ever saying a word. Natasha sighed and locked eyes with him, ensuring he wouldn’t look away before she spoke. 

“Tell her you love her for starters.” 

Bucky felt panic rising in his chest. How did she know? Only Sam knew. Sam was the only one that he told all those years ago, he was the only one there the night all went down. Bucky relaxed as she went on, “She’s your closest friend--” 

Natasha doesn’t know you can relax, Bucky repeated to himself a few times until his hands unclenched and his heart rate returned to normal. 

 “--and she doesn’t deserve to be ghosted by one of the few people she has left because you’re awkward with emotions.” 

Bucky knew Natasha was right, but that doesn’t make it any easier. One thing hadn’t changed in the past two months; Bucky was still a coward. 

“Hey, Trouble.” 

Bucky held back his chuckle as he watched Y/n nearly jump out of her skin at the sound of his voice. Once she realized it was merely Bucky she narrowed her eyes, and he could no longer contain his chuckle. Y/n dug an elbow into his ribs, and he feigned a groan for her sake. Bucky leaned against the railing, resting on his elbows and doing everything he could to keep his eyes focused on the water before him, not exactly where he wanted to look. 

He wasn’t sure he could look at her. Not right now. Bucky’s nerves were jumping like a live wire, and he was worried if he saw her pretty eyes staring back at him, he would chicken out. 

“Sorry,” Bucky said, soft and unsure. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” 

That was true. Bucky hadn’t meant to. He only wanted a few minutes alone with her. 

“It’s okay. I’ve seen one too many horror movies. I feel like Jason is going to come up out of the lake or something,” she said with a shiver and instinctively slid closer to Bucky, letting their arms brush against each other. 

Shit, she was adorable when she said things like that. Bucky grinned and leaned his head towards hers with his eyes trained on a piece of driftwood floating nearby. He took a deep breath and whispered in her ear, “I’ll protect you, Y/n. I promise I’ll always protect you.” 

Bucky didn’t know why he said that. That was so utterly stupid. They were friends, and it didn’t matter what he wanted, Y/n never crossed that line or hinted that she wanted him to cross it. He should know better, but then she turned to face him, and the driftwood floating against the black water couldn’t hold his attention a second longer. He swallowed the lump in his throat and watched the way her lip reddened from the friction of her teeth, her eyes were brighter tonight under the moon, and her voice never sounded as sweet.  

"Always saving me. How’d I get so lucky to have a friend like you, Buck?”

That night changed everything between Bucky and Y/n, and his friendship with Steve was never the same. Not that Steve noticed, and maybe Bucky never did either. They’ve been friends for so long, ups and downs came and went through the years, so it wasn’t unusual to go through a few rough patches. Well, they were friends. Steve wasn’t there, and even if he was Bucky doubted, Steve would want him in life. 

Not once he discovered the truth under it all.  

Bucky leaned his head back against the headrest and closed eyes. That night wouldn’t stop playing on repeat. He saw the flames from the bonfire like they were in front of him, he remembered the violet in Y/n’s shirt and the lines on her bathing suit top. He remembered being a chicken, Dot, and every single second that led them all here to this future. There was a heaviness in his heart, and it came from the weight on his lap. Bucky looked down at the stack of envelopes resting on his legs, wrapped with white twine. 

They were meant for him, and every one was written by Steve; Bucky hated him a little for putting that burden on his shoulder. Bucky already had to live with failing him; was that not enough? 

Steve had to ask this of him, too?

Bucky ran his thumb along the worn paper of the envelope. They were covered in dirt, and the ink his name was written in on the front had all but faded away. He wished he could ask Steve when the hell he wrote these letters. If Bucky didn’t know any better, the punk’s been carrying them around since their first tour. It wasn’t fair what Steve was asking of him, and it wasn’t fair to Y/n either. Steve should have left these to Y/n, not to him. Bucky didn’t deserve to have Steve’s last words. 

There wasn’t much that Bucky did deserve, and the little that he did wasn’t anything good. 

Bucky glanced around at his unit surrounding him, and everyone was preoccupied. A few were playing card games, some were telling stories about their families and what their plans were once the plane landed, but the majority were fast asleep. It was as good a time as any to see what this was all about. Bucky took a deep breath and pulled the first letter out of the stack, carefully running his index finger under the flap to loosen the glue. It wasn’t difficult to separate thanks to the age of the glue and delicate paper it was clinging to. 

Clint’s loud cackling laugh startled Bucky enough to make him hesitate when he began to unfold the three pieces of notebook paper in his hand. He eyed the group, making sure they went back to their own little bubbles before he forced his fingers to work. Bucky flatted the pages on his knee and shifted in his seat at the sight of his name in Steve’s handwriting on that top left corner of the yellowed page. Something Bucky never gave much thought about before, but now he wanted to hold onto that little piece of Steve.

It was dumb, but that was all they had left. 

He cleared his throat to rid it of the lump that was rapidly forming and adjusted the hat on his head, pulling it down over his eyes as he leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. Not that anyone would dare come over when he looked as he did, it felt as though he needed to hide. Bucky stayed hunched over like that as he read the first of twelve letters. 

Buck, 

I’m not thrilled that you’re reading this. If you are, it means something went wrong, and I’m not going to be making it home. I hope you’re not with me. I hope you’re heading home and taking care of things for me. I know you will. You’ve always been there when I needed you. This time will be no different. 

I bet you’re wondering how this is possible or why I did this. After Y/n, I knew I need some kind of back up plan. I wrote this during our first tour. Remember when I was sitting at the table and refused to tell you who I was writing to? You said I must be writing in my diary. I was writing to you, pal. 

You might have noticed there are twelve. Twelve letters. One a month. I figured it will take about twelve months, maybe more. I hope it doesn't take more than a year from any of you. I don’t want that.

Listen, Buck… I’m writing these because I have a favor to ask, and you’re the only one that can do it. I need you to take care of Y/n, and the letters will help…” 

Well, Bucky certainly deserved this. 

--

The flight was fine, long, but it went by without incident. Everyone was too excited to get home to cause much of a fuss about anything. It had been a long, painful tour, and for most, this was their last. Clint, of course, made a show the second they hit the pavement, fell to his knees, and kissed the tarmac. He wouldn’t admit it, but Bucky knew he burnt his lips. Bucky watched the men and women being greeted by friends and family, his chest tightened, and it felt as if he was being torn apart from the inside. If everything had gone the way it was supposed to, Y/n would be there with one of those silly signs and a tub of cookies. 

Y/n wasn’t there because she had no reason to be, and part of that was Bucky’s fault. 

That fault extended beyond the loss they both were suffering.

Bucky asked his mother and Rebecca to stay home this time around. It wasn’t a secret how badly they wanted to see him, but he wasn’t in the right place to give them the reassurance they needed. They needed to see him, so they knew without a doubt he was home, and he was okay, but he wasn’t. Yeah, he made it back, but a big part of him died out in the desert along with Steve. He wasn’t worthy of some big welcoming party full of tearful kisses and bone-crushing hugs. A quick hello at his mother’s place, in private, would be all he got because Bucky had several promises to keep before he could move on like he had planned.

Being home wasn’t all bad, though. The weight of his mistakes still clung to him, but the air was lighter here, and the sun was brighter without being as hot. The trees rustled in the breeze making his skin prickle at the sound. Bucky had forgotten he liked that sound. There were times like this when Bucky could simply forget. It was as if Steve wasn’t gone. He would be waiting for him when they got home, and the last two months wouldn’t have happened.

Those moments never lasted long; reality was always lurking nearby. 

Bucky stopped on the front porch, letting the thud of his boots sound his arrival. His pack slid off his shoulder and dropped onto the aging wood with a thwack. He took a deep breath and waited. It took longer than he thought it would. Bucky was a minute away from ringing the bell when the screen door creaked, and Y/n stepped out onto the porch, eyes clouded and hesitant, bottom lip sucked between her teeth to keep him from seeing the quiver. She crossed her arms over her chest, using them to guard herself against whatever Bucky had to tell and to ensure he knew she was angry with him. 

Bucky smiled. 

Forced into a new life, but the same girl he left behind was wrapped up in there somewhere. He had no doubt a part of her was gone forever, just like him, but that little piece stuck around, and he was glad. As mad as she was, he hoped she would let him say sorry. He had a lot to apologize for, a broken promise he could never make up for at the top of the list.

“Hey, Trouble,” Bucky said with the faintest of smirks. 

Bucky titled his head to the side, giving her a moment to process that it was really him standing there before him. Y/n’s arms fell to her side, and she threw herself into his waiting arms, hiding her face in his neck where she could finally let out two months' worth of tears and heartache; no one else would be able to carry them the way Bucky could. It turned out, she had missed him as much as he missed her. Bucky lifted her feet off the ground, she was lighter than he remembered, but losing half your heart will do that to you. He tightened his arms around Y/n, letting her feet hover off the ground as he carried her behind the safety of the concrete walls she’s been hiding within.

“It’s all right, Y/n,” Bucky whispered into the dark and empty house that already haunted him. “I got ya. We’re gonna be okay. I promise. I’m home, and we’re gonna be all right.” 

Sorry, and secrets could wait till morning.

Previous // Next 

#past!Steve Rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #Bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #Bucky x you #Bucky x yn #modern AU #Miltary AU #tw: character death #tw: death of a spouse #tw: military death

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Reviews: The Phantom and the Sorceress

Ducktales returns! The Phantom Blot returns to animation after too damn long with a neat backstory, an infnity guantlet and a hate boner for anything magic related. And since Lena is magic related she’s forced to go to her worst enemy and local close up magician Magica De Spell for help. Also Gladstone is here because we missed him and for no other reason. But we missed him so it’s okay. Friendship Is Magic, under the cut. 

Woo-ooo! We’re back! Months later and in a new room, with new things to be depressed about because this year is groundhog day and everyone is bill murray, which isn’t as fun as it should be, Ducktales is finally back on screens and in my heart. And my galbladder.. he really likes ducktales.  But yeah with the recent cancelation of the venture bros, it’s nice to get it’s spirtual littlte brother back just a few weeks later to help fill the void, and while a comparison to it now I know frank’s a fan and noticed the simlarties between rusty and gyro thanks to a tumblr post, the same post for both things inf act, I might just do that one day. But tha’ts not what your here, for , iv’e had to rewrite this intro enough times, Pitter Patter, let’s get at er. 

This episodes opens with Scrooge sitting down for his morning tea when the kids pop out of the tv and hte bored way he figures it out is really hilarious. David Tennat is really good at selling just how Scrooge has both seen it all and has the deductive skills of Barbra Gordon. What eveyrone syaing “Of batman” gets old after a while and she’s just as smart as he is, especially as oracle. Point is it’s a good bit. As he correclty guesses the kids were playing Legends of Nerverquest or whatever that game Huey and Della played last season is called, one of them wished it was real, presumibly Dewey, and Lena’s magic accidently made it happen.  And since it’s her first spotlight episode of the season, and possibly only one since this season is kind of packed, it’s time to talk about Lena! Admitely I PLANNED to do at least her first episode and her two season 2 episodes before this, but life got in the way so here we are. Lena.. is easily one of my faviortes, the number of weblena chats have made that clear. She’sd got a compelling arc, the show tackles abuse well in her narrative, and she and webby have really sweet chemstiry. Plus she brought us Violet and i’ll always be greatful for that and she’s voiced by Kimiko Glenn in her first major voice acting role so that helps too. SHe’s a great addition to the cast and the canon. Same, as the previous comment made obvious, goes for Violet, and the three togther have a great dynamic and i’ts nice to finally see an episode with JUST the three of them post “Friendship Hates Magic.”. 

But yeah Lena’s magic’s been going haywire and I do feel the setups abit rushed.. hilarious but rushed. While Night on Kilmotor hill did establish her magic can run wild, it was also vauge if it was because of her, or it was because magica was messing with her head. IT’s still a plausable setup since we haven’t really SEEN her use her magic or have any intrest and doing so and she’s only done so either while working for magica, to undo something magica did, or to give her sister a mace so she could literally go midevil on some alien ass, it just feels a bit abrubt. And while Night on Kilmotor hill also set up a problem we hadn’t seen on screen, it felt like it gave us more time to ease into it and Lena’s issues, and made it clear SOMETHING was up instead of just telling us that. The rest of hte episode is still good i’ve just seen the show be way better at setup than this. 

But yeah Lena’s magic keeps runing their fun and she feels bad about it, while Scrooge ends up putting his foot and spats in his mouth by voicing his hatred of magic, with all his nephews giving him a “Grandpa no look” and Webby glaring at him.. and whiel I didn’t realize it while watching it.. whiel sh’es given him a disaporving look, the equilvent of shooting bambi in the face emtoinally, she’s only been THIS angry with him one other time.. and it was the time he said “Your not family”. Thankfully this time he’s not in defnstive arrogant bastard mode, so he meekly walks it back to exclude her and she shrugs it off: She hates magic too. And really.. it’s not hard to see WHY given that most times it’s enterted her life, it’s nearly got everyone she loves killed, and that the only spellcaster she knows personally is the absuive aunt whose gaslighted her on multiple occasions, most recently to try and renslave her.  Thankfully before Webby can make an old man bleed for his insesntivity, Della reveals some magical creature is there and Scrooge, while annoyed it’s more magic, is happy for another adventure and invites everyone along. And I jsut love that he dosen’t even show the slightest hesitation bringing Violet and Lena along. As far as he’s concerned probably their family too, maybe not as much as Webby but their still welcome. I mean granted i’m sure della and donald had an awkard conversation with Ty and Indy over all this to make sure it was cool, but still, it’s a nice gesture on his part and show’s his personality: He really dosen’t care who comes along as long as they can pull their weight and share his love for adventure, their welcome.  It’s also nice ot see him and Lena interact since the two really haven’t since the shadow war: Sure he’s been in the same room with her twice, btu they haven’t really spoken. Though my honest guess is they could’ve genuinely meant for Scrooge to adopt her into the family.. but when coming up with Violet found her family adopting her and them becoming sisters to be a better idea and went with that. And to be fair it is, and not just for  shipping purposes, I just wish we got some closure on that line, but i’m also aware the show has a LOT of ground to cover each season, so I understand it probably got squeezed out by all the other stuff going on and don’t really sweat it since we got something better anyway, her getting two gay dads and a sister, it just felt worth talking about.  And in universe.. I feel he didn’t simply because he didn’t either know she was back or have a chance to, though i’m also damn certain, at least in my own headcanon, he helped those men formally adopt her. I mean he owns most of the city, and they probably also had to make Lena legally exist in the first place since I doubt Magica bothered to put her on any offical records that weren’t signed in blood and written on paper made of avian flesh, which given SCrooge’s experince is probably not the first time he had to get a person into official records who came into being by way of magic or some other weirdness. 

Anyways, Lena opts out of the adventure because she’s worried about it going haywire and Webby opts out out of sympathy and while Violet is clearly keen to go, she gladly does so for her sister.. though this just makes Lena feel worse since now her girlfriend and her sister are missing out on stuff because of her, and suggests just going to sleep before she whoopsie daisy magics them to death.  The girls end up woken from their sleep however by a bang at the door. It’s Gladstone!

Yup it’s time to talk about another character I haven’t talked about yet. Gladstone is easily one of the show’s best overhauls. See in the comics while Gladstone is just as lucky and lazy.. he’s also just.. 

Okay i’m amazed it’s taken this long for me to refrence jean ralphio in one of these reviews but i’m glad it was for this.  Back on topic, while I know Gladstone in the comics has his fans, and is softend a bit in european comics, but in most stories i’ve read with him he’s an insufferably arrogant dick. Even BEFORE getting his luck, his first apperance, which I own in trade and read earlier this year, has him trying to take Donald’s house and kick him and the nephews out on the street over a drunken wager to take a polar dive, which Donald fials because life hates him and he’s a coward. Thankfully Daisy rushed in and saved the day because she’s great sometimes ,and turned things on him wiht his own drunken crap, but still, it says something when your first apperance is trying to force three ten year olds and your own cousin out into the cold. 

He .. did not get any better once his super luck came into play. Instead he just flautned it all the time and tried to constnatly win Daisy over from donald.. which had varying sucess based on how much of a shallow dick she was being that story, and in general was just unplesant. He really only works for me in comic in those aformetioned softer times: when a writer makes his luck ruin his love life or add actual depth instead of him just being the raincloud on donal’ds parade. The original ducktales and the going quackers game are the only places I can think of he showed up otherwise, prototype in the old disney shorts nonwithstanding, and Ducktales Classic made him a nice guy from what i’ve heard. Thankfully frank and crew knew exactly what to do to adapt him perfectly: He still retains some aspects from the comics: Donald and Scrooge still hate him, Donald for Gladstone always winning and always having it easy while Donald.. is donald and thus utterly miserable half the time and on fire the other half, and Scrooge because he’s a lazy asshole who gets whatever he wants with the least effort, which didn’t change. What did change was his attitude. While he still is proud of getting whatever he wants in life with no effort and being “the best at getting something for nothing” he dosen’t lord it over everyone else. Sure he’s proud of it but he dosen’t rub Donald’s nose in how much better off he is on purpose, and genuinely loves his family, something I really coudln’t say about most versions of comic Gladstone. While he’s self serving he’s perfectly happy to share his luck with whoever else: He can always get more money whenever he needs it because of course he will. The other factor helping is , as with this entire reboot, the voice acting, in this case the marvelous Paul F Thompkins of Bojack and so much other stuff fame, who really sells the “Sleazy vegas layabout” vibe this series gives him, updating his old aristocratic asshole vibe to something more fun to watch and really being a treat anytime gladstone comes up. Gladstone singing in season 2 was entirely something Paul Improvised during his first apperance they made sure to use eventually. He’s a delight any time he shows up and a total 180 from his utterly agrviating original version. 

As for why he’s here.. said luck. is gone. After being hit by some weird energy, Gladstone suddenly, since he didn’t see it hit him, finds himself living normally: going to a restraunt offers no free meal for being 100th custmoer or anything, his wallet dosen’t magically have 20 dollars in it, and the atm gives him 20 dollars.. which would seem normal except it’s actually usually a sack of rubys.  Naturally Gladstone having coasted his entire life on his magical luck, has no idea how to function as a normal human being and is utterly hilarious as he breaks down. Admitely he’s not the biggest part of the plot, he’s mostly here for comic relief and COULD have been eaisly cut.. but he’s so hilarious and seeing him utterly fail at being a normal person and whine about things as simple as walking or going up stairs is just groovy.  As for what weird magical bolt took it, Violet being violet figures it out quick: The Phantom Blot! For those unfamiliar, he’s a charcter from the mickey mouse comics, though I know him from one episode of house and mouse that adapted those comics that I need to read more of, a master schemer and old school villian par excellence and Mickey’s greatest foe. I was ecastic to see him come here and in the capable hands of Giancarlo Espisto. While I haven’t watched brekaing bad i’ve heard nothing but good thigns and he does his best with what little he’s given. But here instead of a master schemer he’s an infamous magic theif and is obviously the one who drained gladstone.. and unforutntely for scrooge the boys and presumibly everyone else... we see him in action using his fancy infnity guantlet esque magic draining gauntlet to drain the portal they took. Ruh Roh.  It gets worse when he mistakes Lena for magica, and charges after her, though Webby is able to hold him off with the axe she grabbed on the way to the door earlier, and damages his gauntlet. he retreats.. but it’s obvious he’ll be back and both Webby and Violet come to the conclusion Lena needs to grasp her magic in order to survive.. and both have the same unfortunate relization: They only know one person who can do it and Lena, once she realizes what hteir thinking, wnats nothing to do with her, and neither do they. But they have no options: they have to go to magica.  So they journey to her house on Dagobah, with Gladstone tagging along because they need a wacky comedic sidekick to help lighten the mood what with the serious, grim hunter wanting to murder a teenage girl inf nront of her tweenage girlfriend and kid sister, and their only resort being going back to her abuser for help.  Magica however isn’t all that helpful at first. Being Magica her first move is to make a grab for the Amulet to get her power back, which her running crew thwart quickly but naturally Lena still wants nothing to do with her and Magica just insults her for not using magic and because she’s a terrible person. SHe does however end up changing her tune when she hears the blot’s involved. She whisks them inside while we get a cutaway to FOWL headquarters where blot is working on his guantlet more on him in a minute.  We soon get the Blot’s backstory which is actually really inttresting and invovled even if it’s not a lot like who he is in the comcis or house of mouse: A long ass time ago before meddling kids got in her way, Magica took over a small vililage with the threat of destroying it and eveyrone in it outright unless they gave her tributes.. and when those got boring she just did it anyway. Problem was, as happens a lot when evil sorecerers calously destroy hometowns, one of them survivied. It’s even lampshaded by Magica as she points out Blot wasn’t the first. The problem was.. he was persitant. The blot never gave up, coming up with better tech to fight her magic each time and coming back stronger and likely more determined. I like this verson: While he’s not the bwahahah mastermindk, he’s still an utter threat, a force with an unyielding hatred and a burning mission to take out the target of his hate and anything like her. He reminds me a lot of toffee from star vs but if htey actually gave his backstory on screen. A meancing, somehwat quite, or mostly silent in the blot’s case, immortal menace who’s deterimiend to wipe out those who wronged him and anything related to them and has warped from what was once probably a decen tperson into a human engine of destruction with one goal and one goal only. He’s a good enoguh villian for the episode, I just hope if he comes back they give him better lines. his dialouge is really what dosen’t work for me as whiel his backstory and aura of meance work, Giancarlo is given nothing to work with line wise. He dosen’t need to be a chatty cathy or anything, just give him one or too really cool lines. Sometimes tha’ts all you need. Watch how the pros do it. 

I do like this verison, I jsut think they could do more, but given the show has a good track record for only getting better with their villians with every use, I have no worries about that and he’s still a cool enough threat. I also wish we got more of fowl or why he’s working with them. just a small scene with one of them was all I asked, because we’ve barely gotten fowl this season. It’s really one of the season’s only real problems so far: 8 episodes in and while FOWL agents have shown up twice, adn one of the episodes did advance that plot by showing off heron and steelbeak, we really haven’t seen any progress on their plans to both take the missing mysteries or kill the Clan McDuck. HOpefully this changes as we go and again, it dosen’t ditract from the episode itself, jsut the season as a whole.  Anyways, Lena is still relucntant because Magica is terrible and keeps slipping in how much she wants to take the amulet every five minutes. I love the show and catherine tate’s take on magica: just as hammy and nuts as before but when she does have magic, she’s the utter threat she was before too times ten.  But yeah while Lena’s relunctant.. neither of htem really has a choice> Magica needs her amulet secure to get her magic back, and Lena needs to not die. So they relucntantly agree to work together among more hilarous sniping.  Cue a training montage set to a hell of an 80′s tune. The show really has a good habit of making good incdental music to use in bits like this. Lena trains, uses gladstone as the training dummy, and it’s funny as it is creative and we even get some karate kids bit and the obvious star wars refrences. Meanwhile the blot approaches ever closer..  We also find out something important from Magica as she chastises Lena for having fun with her friends while training after Lena uses blue magic instead of purple: Turns out much like spellcasters in say owl house or my little pony each caster has a specific color to their magic, a Colur of magic if you will. Magica’s, and lena using hers is purple while the blue magic we’ve seen from her is her own powered by friendship and love. It’s a nice advancement of what we’ve seen so far: We’ve seen her magic powered by webby is stronger than her other stuff, and we’ve seen it come out during times their bond, or in the case of kilmotor hill her bond with everyone, is strongest. We knew something was diffrent with the magics and it’s now given a though and clearly well thought out explination why: Magica’s magic is hers and Lena was just borrowing it.. the blue stuff is hers and hers alone.  Magica does try to get her to master it by having one of her friends shoot her.. Webby of course strongly objects so Violet takes it up since it is for study after all and her sister can take a hit. Lena also wonders how she can even do magic without the amulet, but as Magica makes clear, and as I outlined above, the amulet is just help. The blue magic is her. Lena fails to use it though to deflect in time.. and to make matters worse the blot shows up after plopping gladstone down and wants to kill them  both.  We then get easily the best laugh of the episode.. as Magica tries stage magic and the blot wonders what the hell he’s looknig at. I mean this is his mortal enemy, the monster who killed everyone he’d ever known or loved... pulling out a bunch of colored rags and asking him to pick a card. It’s amazing. Lena attacks from the side and Webby and Violet quickly asist, with Magica joining in to use the rope to bind him and Lena’s magic kicking in, turning the rope into chain and summoning a snake.. but in a show of badassery the blot easily shrugs it off: he absorbs the magic, escapes and knocks them around while Webby asks the snake for help.. can she speak snake? She hopes so. 

Then things get dire as The Blot starts absorbing the magic.. and killing lena as she starts to fade away. Magica of course can’t even feign dispaointment in anything but loosing her magic. And that’s also something I really love here: The show makes no attempt to make magica better or turn around because it just isn’t who she is and even if she did after all the abuse she did, Lena would have zero reason to forgive her. It’s nice that they DON’T try redemeing her or shoing a brighter side: she’s a bad person, a worse caregiver and they only came to her because they had no choice. 

But as the magic’s absorbed magica does tell her to find the source of the power and we get a great scene: She first thinks of all the abuse magica’s done to her and it’s a harrowing montage to watch. But webby, breaks through that, since that obviouslyf ails and reminds her of where HER magic comes from: Her and webby. and we get an adorable,a nd shiptastic montage as we see more clips from past episodes.. but this time we see their adorable fistbump from “Beagle BOy Birthday Massacre”, their hug from “Jaw$!” and Lena’s return to the world and hug with her lady and future sister from “Friendship hates magic”. IT’s her friends, her sister and the love of her life who are her real source of power, and her magic connects to htem as lena ccccchanges.  And I mean entirely, her outfit changes and she gets these.. weird bright blue eyes. Like I like the rest of her outfits, a white and blue attire to show her change with a badass cape, looks like a superhero so naturally I love it.. her eyes just look really off. Like when Milo Muprhy’s law tried to give characters colored irses. Because no one else in ducktales has them it just loosk.. weird.. Otherwise though I like it. We then get a beam struggle, but with adde dhelp from her friends and her new power, Lena eventually beats the blot, as her sheer power overloads the guantlet and sends him running. However in the confusion the amulet was lost.. and Magica gets it back. Lena whollops her easily, pointing out her magic’s purpose is to protect the world from people like her. It’s a nice development too: Lena realizes MAGIC isn’t inherently evil... it’s how it’s used. Star Vs could’ve maybe taken this lesson, but regardless, it’s a nice bit of character development realizing that magic is a part of her IS Her, and she shoudln’t have to give up something in her nature because of her abuser. Magica, while repowered, is force dto lookf or her staff while Lena gladly floats team magic home. Also with the guantlet broken gladstone is back, as a rain of 20 dolalr bills he uses as tissues confims, and the portal returns, and with Lena you know, havin ga whole superhero outfit, glowing blue eyes and her hair streak now blue, they know something clearly happend and the episode just kind of ends. Still a good one.  Final Thoughts: This was a good one as I just said. While I had my nitpicks here and there as I also said, Lena’s strong character, and the game performances of Espisito, Thompkins, and Tate really add to our usual trlo, and as I mentioned before it’s nice ot see team magic get their own episode now their a full team. IT’s just a good romp and a good way back. I”ve made my complaints clear but their drowned out by good jokes, good character stuff, and good worldbuilding that makes this an utter thrill and a great one to come back to and i’tll also be intresting to see where Lena goes from here.  But wherever she goes she’ll have webby. They can be whot hey are, independent together, if theyt ry. And yes that’s my shiping song for htem and yes I have one. 

Quick bit before I go I dind’t get to, Gladstone flirts with magica when she lands in his arms, a little something for the shippers and a nice gesture on frakn’s part. Whle she rejects him and he dumps her in the sludge with a shrug. I mean.. their probably going to bang at some point. Gladstone’s powers mean he’ll likely find her when sh’es super horny and more than willing, and he’ll be like “eh why not boobs”. I mean I thought about this: I figure his powers allow him to find a willing partner, any gender or none at all I see him as pansexual, who happens to probablyb e loaded and diseased free, whenever he happens to be into it who naturallyw orks out perfectly because if he gets money whenever he wants it, why not sex? It’s not even a concious thing as we’ve seen things just work out for him so of course he probably gets laid, and as we see here it’s only if the other person consets. Good for him. Hope to see him again sooner. I want to see more of him and della interacting and see what she thinks of him. Freshe eys andall that. 

But yeah this was great to come back to. If you liked this i’ve reviewed the rest of the season up to this point and will be reviewing each episdoe every monday till they stop again, so keep an eye out for that.  You can check the tabs on my blogs for more reviews, come back this weekend for regular loud house coverag,e follow for more reviews or shoot me a pm if you’d like to comission me to do an episode. For just 5 bucks i’ll review any episode of any animated show of your choosing, and as i’ve only covered one season 2 episode of ducktales, there’s over 40 left ot choose from if you have any you want to hear my thoughts on. Until then stay safe, quack hard, and Go Team Venture! Play us out Steg .. and Co. 

#ducktales #the phantom and the sorceress #weblena #lena saberwing #webby vanderquack #violet sabrewing #scrooge mcduck #gladstone gander #magica despell #the phantom blot #giancarlo esposito #reviews #animation #disney #disney channel

[beneaththetangles]

Reader’s Corner: Silver Spoon, Solo Leveling, and the Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya

Solo Leveling, Vol. 1 (novel)

The immensely popular webtoon, Solo Leveling, features a basic premise about a young man rising from the lowest of ranks of “hunting” to become incredibly strong. It’s most appreciated for its art, so the question is, if the story is mundane, does it’s forerunner, which lacks any illustrations, hold up? It does—surprisingly well. Volume one of Chugong’s novel series, originally published on the web and now being released by Yen Press, traces the story of Level-E ranked hunter, Jin-Woo, in mesmerizing detail as he “levels up” following an experience that should have lead to his demise. That opening is only one of a number of violent but engaging episodes in the novel, which also relies heavily on descriptions of game-like mechanics. As the rare anime fan that isn’t a gamer, my eyes usually glaze over such details, but Chugong’s vivid but spare descriptions kept me engaged, as the protagonist moves quickly along his journey, which still, is well structured, even if his characterization if less developed. That’s both a flaw of the series and a point of question: Is Jin-woo’s desire for “Money, honor, and power” meant to be admired, glossed over, or criticized? I’m not yet sure, and I wonder if Jin-Woo’s moral development will become a significant part of the story beneath the well-crafted verneer of fighting and powering up, which as imaginative as it is, can’t very well carry an entire series—can it? ~ Twwk

Solo Leveling is published by Yen Press, which provided a review copy.

Neon Genesis Evangelion: The Shinji Ikari Raising Project, Vol. 18

I did it (insert GIF of everyone applauding Shinji here). I finally finished reading Neon Genesis Evangelion: The Shinji Ikari Raising Project. And let me tell you something about it: While there are science fiction undertones and references to the original series throughout that give you genuine laughs, by the end, the series is primarily just an ecchi teen romantic comedy with Evangelion characters as window dressing. Every chapter is an opportunity for Shinji to mistakenly trip, fall, and accidentally grope a girl. Every other chapter, by the end, sees a character with exposed breasts—sometimes because of said clusiness, sometimes because the mangaka just decides to draw an extended group bathing scene. This volume gives the final actual reference to an Evangelion, but once again, there’s no actual use of it. This alternate Eva-verse is, in the end, a school harem romance and not a science fiction epic that discusses about real issues like depression. For some, that’s fine. For others, the blatant fanservice will be too much. For me, I am still so very struck by how out of character both Shinji and Gendo act in this series when compared to the original . I guess Yui Ikari being alive really made a huge difference! ~ MDMRN

Neon Genesis Evangelion: The Shinji Ikari Raising Project, Vol. 18 is published by Dark Horse Comics.

The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya

First released in the U.S. eleven years ago, and originally published in 2004, Yen Press has rereleased The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya (along with all the others) to coincide with the new Haruhi Suzumiya light novel. After all this time, it holds up surprisingly well, and in fact perhaps takes on more meaning now in the booming light novel industry as a series that—as with the anime—inspired so many of today’s writers. A quick read—it tells just one longer tale instead of several shorter one, coming in at under 200 pages—every sentence is meaningful, every chapter tightly structured, and every emotion hits with precision and sharpness as the series at once returns to an older act, takes the story to new places (and new heights), and brings in questions from the future as Kyon wakes to discover that the SOS Brigade has disbanded, no one has ever hear of a Haruhi Suzumiya, and Asahina and Nagato no longer have their peculiar powers. The volume works so well because it depends on those preceding it, not only for it’s “return to the past” plot but also as it ramps up the nostalgia and emotions in both Kyon and the reader. Everything is predicated on how the reader feels about these characters, leading to a tale that’s simultaneously a love fest for the series and one that is satisfying in its own right. Disappearance proves to be, much like its characters, a light novel that surely is timeless. ~ Twwk

The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya is published by Yen Press, which provided a review copy.

The Genius Prince’s Guide to Raising a Nation Out of Debt (Hey, How About Treason?), Vol. 1

What we have with this mouthful of a title is a more comedic (and non-isekai) take on the kingdom-running light novel. Prince Wein is appointed regent to run the country of Natra in place of his ailing father, but given how terrible the state of his nation is in financially, he would much rather just sell the country off and run away. Yeah, he’s lazy and a coward. The problem is, he’s also a bit too smart for his own good, and plans that he intend to go towards relieving his workload and avoiding confrontation only make people believe he can totally win wars and bring the country back to greatness. (It helps that the countries trying to deal with Natra have issues of their own…) The result is an amusing read as I had fun seeing Wein pull out plans that work a bit too well and have him suffering from success. I also liked how his relationship with Ninym, his childhood friend and primary aide, is framed in the story both as a teammate that Wein relies on to help run the country, and also a close companion (and love interest) whom he banters with but also trusts deeply and does not tolerate any insults toward her from others. Overall I’m definitely looking forward to reading more from this series and how Wein will continue to help his country more than he might want to. ~ stardf29

The Genius Prince’s Guide to Raising a Nation Out of Debt (Hey, How About Treason?), Vol. 1 is available from Yen Press.

Dragon Head

Dragon Head was a horror manga series I picked up last year from a Kodansha Halloween Humble Bundle. Let me tell you—it is dark, earning its way into that genre heading. The first volume begins with three teenagers trying to survive in an underground subway tunnel after an earthquake event caused its collapse. As the story progresses, and effects on the surface world around them are revealed, the characters discover that the earthquake was no isolated incident but something that struck all of Japan. It is gritty and violent at times. Yet, the overall story and a desire to see how these characters survive kept me reading page after page. I finished the entire 10 volume series in about three days time as I had a hard time putting it down. The ending is is a hard one, and perhaps very fitting for this work, leading readers to consider how widespread the problems that struck and set the events of the series really are. Psychological horror indeed. ~ MDMRN

Dragon Head is published by Kodansha.

Silver Spoon, Vol. 1

With Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood continuing its tear through our annual AniMarch Madness tournament, I turn my attention to the other now-classic work from mangaka Hiromu Arakawa. Silver Spoon, which ended its run in 2019, is a fish out of water tale featuring high school freshman Hachiken, an academic-focused city boy who decides to attend an agricultural high school in Hokkaido. Volume one has fun with his inability to get used to farm life, though it also sensitively looks at his reasons for choosing this high school while showing that even early on, Hachiken is growing, such as when he condescends horses only to be taught how the majestic animals can show the rider a different perspective on life. It doesn’t take long for readers to grow attached to the series characters, like Aikawa, who is the determined to overcome his sensitivity to blood and death to become a veterinarian, and Nishikawa, who loves tractors and mecha. But most of all, Hachiken makes for a compelling character. Like Edward from FMA, Hachiken is easily frustrated but kind and open; it’s lovely to see him already developing among friends so different from what he’s used to, even while seeing him frequently fall (and slowly get back up)—a source of laughter page after page in this wonderful introductory volume. ~ Twwk

Silver Spoon, Vol. 1 is published by Yen Press, which provided a review copy.

#Manga #Light Novels #Solo Leveling #Neon Genesis Evangelion: The Shinji Ikari Raising Project #Shin Seiki Evangelion: Ikari Shinji Ikusei Keikaku #The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya #Suzumiya Haruhi no Shoushitsu #The Genius Prince’s Guide to Raising a Nation Out of Debt (Hey How About Treason) #Tensai Ouji no Akaji Kokka Saisei Jutsu: Sou da Baikoku Shiyou #Dragon Head #Silver Spoon #Gin no Saji #Reader's Corner #Articles #Author: TWWK #Author: MDMRN #Author: stardf29

[itsybitsylemonsqueezy]

So I finished watching Yakuza 7: Like A Dragon. Spoilers under the cut. 

(Mainly positive take, some criticisms. C+/B I’d give it.)

So, first of all, I didn’t play it, I just watched people on youtube so my perspective of gameplay should be taken with a grain of salt. But I really liked the turn taking fighting style! Like a real JRPG, I thought it was fun, it seemed fun anyway, and the strategies to JRPG make more intuitive sense to me than fighting games, which I don’t know at all. I did end up missing the hand-to-hand combat like... aesthetically and it kinda breaks universe rules a little. But, like, Ichiban seeing combat as a sort of heightened fantasy reality actually helps with that and the plot still treats us like average combatants. Like, there’s still no murder, despite a lot more weapon use, including guns. So... it’s a little sad and weird universe-wise, but seems fun to play. 

Ichiban is a great protag! Definitely not Kiryu! He has two dads, like 8 spouses, a lot of hair... He’s only 7 years younger than Kiryu and that’s... that’s a choice ^^; But he’s got a lot of good things going for him and I like his build. Interesting rage-grief he has going and a thing about revenge that Kiryu never had. And I like that actually, I like that Ichiban gets hit with different things than Kiryu did, but he still has flaws. Kiryu was never blind with rage the way Ichi got, but then, Kiryu also didn’t save his brother. Like, they have VERY different shit going on, which is GOOD. So I’m kinda annoyed that in the end we took Ichi’s dad and brother, just like Kiryu’s? Like... damn :/ Lame. Lazy. 

I love Ichi’s team! I love Adachi, Nanba, Saeko, Joon-gi, Zhao. Top notch peeps! I like that they all just like him and are here for a fun adventure with him. They’re all here for something different, which is also really cool. Zhao is sort of redefining who he is in... retirement I guess? Trying out being a companion rather than a leader. Saeko is longing for family, connection, a place to belong. Adachi was here to accomplish a goal, to restore his honor and provide justice. And Ichi’s been a big help to that. Joon-gi is... a whore. I’m sorry! He’s just this beautiful, obedient man who’s just here on lend and he does whatever the fuck you say. Do not put him in charge of decisions, he’s terrible at them, but he knows a lot and has a vast network. But he appears just to be here to serve everyone’s needs, so to speak, and to moon after Ichiban like everyone else. And Nanba. Nanba hates adventures. He hates germs. He hates people and friends and danger and doing things. But he’s here. Because Ichi makes him hate things a little less. Nanba is a cynical, cowardly bastard, and Ichi’s a fucking sunshiney idiot always trying to fix shit that isn’t his problem. And he makes Nanba get up and fight. He makes Nanba believe in tomorrow. Nanba doesn’t trust people, Nanba doesn’t hope. He’s a pessimist and lives only to complain. But he is first in line to get shot for Ichiban every fucking time. He’s always the first to Ichiban’s side when he’s in trouble. Leaving and betraying Ichiban broke his fucking heart and my ship is probably showing A LOT here but I don’t care. I fucking love Nanba, I love his arc, I did NOT see it coming. And they are definitely my ship out of this. The fact that Nanba without fail is always the first to put himself in danger for Ichiban guts me. With how much he doesn’t believe in good things ever happening, it destroys me that he’ll dare it all for Ichiban. Fucking wild. 

I thought it was cool to bring up a political villain, but... we didn’t really carry through on Bleach Japan’s thematic importance. We revealed them to be cruel and hypocritical, but we didn’t end up actually saving the slums or proving why the slums needed to be saved and that’s... kinda lame :/ 

I was really hoping that we might make a stand on why grey spaces were needed, on why organizations like the yakuza are needed but instead we... disbanded? And I don’t even know why? 

Like, it was to fuck over Ryo Aoki. But... he was a TEMPORARY problem. All you had to do was move the organizations underground until he was unseated, which the Tojo already was??? 

But instead... we brought down Tojo and Omi and... WHY?! Like, SERIOUSLY, can ANYONE tell me WHY! Because I have a LOT OF FEELINGS about why that’s a BAD CALL.

What are all those guys going to do now? “Oh, we’ll just make a security company” YOU’LL WHAT?! THOUSANDS of guys used to shake downs will now be hired to patrol rich estates and cover banks and business buildings?! Fighting WHO, themselves?! A LOT of that job is just watching some fucking cameras, what... what the fuck are you talking about Watase?! 

But I guess that’s still better than Daigo’s “I have no fucking idea” plan

NO WONDER Majima’s depressed at that funeral you JUST TOLD HIM his new job is BABYSITTING SOME RICH FUCK’S BUILDING. Fuck you guys! 

And HAVE WE LEARNED NOTHING ABOUT POWER VACUUMS?! CRIME doesn’t disappear just because there’s no one there to manage it! That just means it gets worse! And rasher, crueler people grab power in the interim. Smaller but rougher groups will appear. More and worse crimes will happen now. You just disenfranchised thousands, not all of them are going to come with you to play security detail and not all of them WANT to. So why EXACTLY did we disband the yakuza? What problems did that solve??? 

What about all that shit about the yakuza being a home for people who didn’t fit in? What about people who fell through the cracks in the system, who don’t have anywhere else to go? 

If the yakuza, as an idea, was so fucking bad, WHAT WERE THE LAST SIX GAMES ABOUT?!

You can’t have an established series that accepts the idea that crime and violence are sometimes necessary or are even good things and have a compelling protag who does that, ONLY to turn around at the last second and pretend like it was always wrong!

If you were gonna act like the idea of organized crime is a Bad Thing, THEN THAT NEEDED TO BE A CONFLICT FROM THE BEGINNING

But you didn’t even do that!

We DIDN’T disband the yakuza because organized crime is inherently morally corrupt, no we disbanded because some prick thought he could use us! A PRICK WHO IS NOW DEAD! THE FUCK?! 

And DON’T GET ME STARTED on how this reframes Kiryu’s narrative. KIRYU WASN’T RIGHT FOR LEAVING YOU FUCKING BASTARDS. 

THE WHOLE POINT OF KIRYU’S ARC WAS THAT HE WAS FUCKING WRONG TO ABANDON HIS RELATIONSHIPS I- *screams into pillow*

AND why does Kiryu need to be dead now?! There is no more yakuza! Who does he need to hide from?! 

OH no wait, my mistake! We didn’t disband ALL the yakuza, just Omi and Tojo! You know, the two biggest cities in Japan. I’m sure THAT won’t have Fucking Consequences. But Kiryu still has to be dead for uh... Reasons.

This was just such a fucking dumb universe-building move. It’s not been thought through, it betrays the whole point of the franchise up until now, and I’m honestly just mad that they didn’t even feel the need to address it? Like, the yakuza’s just gone now, but it’s whatever. Who would even care about that. Like, that’s not going to be a plot point next game. It won’t matter, at all, I promise you. All of the in-universe implications this has, none of it matters. And I’m not even mad I’m just... tired. And annoyed a little. that you can’t be bothered to tie up your own rules. You won’t give your own writing decisions weight and that’s just... kinda sad. It’s just lazy and sad that they don’t care enough to connect the pieces. But I’ve had my heart broken enough by yakuza writing decisions. Of course they would do this, of course they haven’t thought enough about their own series to really consider what ending the yakuza would mean. Why would they? 

I’ll still watch the next game. Like, Ichiban is likeable enough and I’m interested in his arc enough that I’d play or watch next time. But... *sigh* We’re the Yakuza series with no yakuza. And y’all gonna act like that’s a good thing or pretend it doesn’t even matter. And I really don’t know what to do with that since you haven’t bothered to examine it either. 

On a nice Kiryu note, I did like that he was scaled appropriately, I like that Ichiban is Wiped Out after almost every fight. He’s a good fighter, but he has human endurance. Kiryu’s still god. He hits the hardest out of anyone you fight and you Don’t win and that’s As It Should Be. I’m REALLY glad they at least let me have that. I’m glad they let us fight Kiryu and we passed and it was a cool passing of the torch. I was so worried they were going to destroy Kiryu’s legacy and at least they didn’t do that. 

The coin locker baby thing... it was cliche and convenient, but in the way that Yakuza is cliche and convenient and melodramatic and over the top. It was sort of fitting and familiar that way. Shame we ended Swashiro like that, I think we could have done more and cooler shit with him but, eh. 

SPEAKING OF MORE AND COOLER SHIT

...all that effort, just to kill him? Alllllll that long time, that hard conversation, that break down with Ichiban... just to kill him. Just to make him Nishiki, all over again. 

I... fuck you. 

Why do you refuse to write a goddamn redemption arc

Fuck, you don’t even have to write it, have it happen off-screen if you’re so fucking afraid of it. Just have him recuperate in a goddamn hospital and, I don’t know, by next game just show that he’s doing better and is getting therapy and whatever.

Jesus fucking christ, he doesn’t have to MATTER in the next game just... don’t kill him. Jesus. Please.

All that fucking work and you’re STILL going to give Ichiban the trauma of losing someone he was trying to save. 

I just... it’s really gutting how much you don’t like your characters and you don’t like to write and you’re cowards. You won’t take risks. You’re too afraid of fucking up so you won’t do what the narrative calls for. 

Killing Masato was lazy-ass, punk-ass, coward shit and I wont’ stand for it. I did not expect to care about his ass by the end but you guys REALLY made an effort in making him a three dimensional character there at the end and explaining why Ichi would care about him and I was willing to come with you! I was willing for us to invest in this dumbass. We walk him all the way up to the edge and step him back. We let him let go. And then you just. fucking. gave up. You goddamn cowards.

I’m so tired of this shit

For all that, it was genuinely a really fun game and a really fun story with a lot of likeable characters. I think a solid C+, even a B. I really did enjoy most of it. It’s just... in usual Yakuza style, they only fucked up 2 things but they were a REALLY IMPORTANT 2 things. 

Oh and I did like the fact that Ichiban Still Doesn’t Know. No one tell him.

#Yakuza 7 #Yakuza: Like A Dragon #It's always a mixed bag with RGG Studios #At least Kiryu was pretty nice #Y7 spoilers

[therainroguefanfiction]

༄ How To Save A Life… » original

Genre: Slice of Life, Angst

Word Count: 2,003

Pairing: None

World: Original

WARNING: This fic mentions anxiety, social anxiety, loneliness, self-harm and depression.

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It’s amazing, how such a simple gesture can mean so much to a person. They may not even realize the impact that they made, despite how big it may be. Human beings have the power to connect in a way that goes beyond any other species, but they don’t always choose to do so. With a simple act, a person can change another’s life, whether for good or bad. That kind of power is dangerous, so I suppose it’s a good thing that most human beings don’t realize they actually possess such a thing.

The more I think about it, the more it scares me. But I guess that doesn’t mean much, seeing how afraid I am of other humans in general. I really didn’t like other people, and I absolutely hate the way they make me feel when I’m around them. I go out of my way to avoid other people, and I make sure that I don’t get into any type of fights or altercations with others. I seem to have a skill, though, that makes people hate me with every fiber of their being. It’s been that way since I was a child.

Back then, I strived to get close to other people; all I wanted was a single person I could call a friend. It didn’t work out like I had hoped or like it always does on television. I didn’t fit in with any of the groups around me, even though I went out of my way to change myself to fit them. I did many things I shouldn’t have, that I still regret to this day, just to get them to like me, but they wouldn’t, they refused to accept me. They used me for what they could get, got a good laugh, and then dumped me to the side like roadkill.

It was frustrating, sure, but more than anything else, it just plain hurt. It wasn’t physical, so there was no amount of medicine that I could take that would cure the pain. I refused to do drugs and I refused to go out and get drunk just to forget. I suppose what I did choose to do was just as bad, though. Instead of drugs or alcohol, I turned to cutting. It terrified me every time I placed the smooth blade to my pale skin. Even though I was in so much pain, I didn’t want to die.

I was afraid to die.

I loved the world, I just hated the people in it.

Still, I slid the blade across my skin despite my fear. It was never deep enough to put me in harm’s way, which proves how much of a coward I really am – it’s pretty sad. It was no deeper than a cat scratch, but it still stung and throbbed, and little diamonds of blood covered it like a blanket. It was enough to make me feel better, for a few minutes, before I started to feel stupid for what I was doing to myself. That just made the situation worse.

I already hated myself for various reasons – fat, ugly, and above all else, unable to do anything right, just to name the main ones – and now I had cutting to add to my list. I was a despicable human being, I still am, but at least I can handle it a bit better now. I don’t cut anymore, though it does cross my mind occasionally.

Perhaps that’s a side effect of the crazy pills that I’m on now.

Though the pills do ease the fear of human beings, it can’t take it away. It’s still there, lingering just beneath the surface, waiting for me to feel safe and secure before it winds its black arms around me like death coming from the shadows. It grips my throat until I can’t breathe, and chains my heart so tight that it hurts every time it beats.

Sometimes I would envision myself in a barren wasteland, filled with nothing but rock formations that towered over me like skyscrapers. I could see chains binding my wrists to a metal plate in the ground, one that refused to budge so much as half an inch. The ground would crack beneath me, and lava would begin to seep through, but I couldn’t run away.

I could never run away.

I often wondered if someone could come to my rescue, to take me away, but I hated how that sounded. One thing I didn’t like – besides people -, was being a damsel in distress that needed a knight in shining armor to come to rescue her. Really, I’d be fine with just having someone that was a true friend, but after a while, I started to doubt the meaning of that word. I actually looked it up, and the definition only filled me with misery, knowing that I’d never have such a relationship.

Sure, there were people that tolerated me and my smart ass quips, like my co-workers, but something deep down told me they didn’t actually like me. I’m positive they only act nice because we have to see each other every week, and often are put together on projects. The day goes by in a painfully slow manner when you’re working with someone and there’s nothing but lightning between you – sadly, I know this because I just recently learned the true nature of my friend, who believes she’s done nothing wrong.

But I’m probably mostly to blame, anyway.

I guess I got a little off point, here, and for that, I apologize. I’m sure my ramblings mean nothing to you. So, let me spare you further hell, and begin telling you my boring, bang-your-head-against-a-brick-wall story.

Everything began when I was twenty-years-old, working at the local J.C. Penneys in the mall. It was my second job, and although my bosses were lenient and pleasant to be around – most of the time -, I still hated it. Not only because I was lazy, but because I hated having to deal with customers. Dealing with the people I worked with was one thing, but having the thought of being thrown onto the register with a customer was like staring my own death in the face.

Wait, I take that back. I’d rather stare death in the face than be on the register with customers.

Thankfully, this rat has learned to hide and run from customers – which would probably get me fired if anyone knew I did that since the company was one of those customer first types. That’s also why I do my very best to keep these thoughts tucked away from prying eyes. I mean, I hated being out there with people, but I needed the money. And in what other job would you be able to cower in an air-conditioned stock room by yourself, with no one to deal with but the massive racks of clothes that needed to be priced? It was heaven, really, but it didn’t happen very often.

I guess in a way I rely on my co-workers more than I should. With them around, I can roll the customer off onto them and get away scot-free. They don’t mind since they can actually handle having a simple conversation with other people.

It was the beginning of Spring, the beginning of April, and although it had been slightly chilly as of late, Florida was beginning to warm up. I didn’t mind the rare thirty-degree weather, it was the eighty-degree humidity covered weather that sent me to the floor panting and begging my family to move to Antarctica. I was very sensitive to heat, of any kind, which is another thing I can add to my pathetic list.

Nothing really special was happening in my life at the time, not like it ever did at any other time. I woke up last minute, rushed off to work, grit my teeth and tried not to harm myself just to be sent home, and when I finally would make it home, I’d flop in front of the computer where I stayed until it was time to go to bed.

See, rather than being one of those kids that goes out and parties the night away, having sex with every guy that smiles at her, I’ve always been the nerdy kid that sat at home, with no friends, playing video games and screwing around online. If anything, that’s the only thing I can say I like about myself. Of course, I probably would have done those things if I had actually had friends to coax me into them – I cave easily, remember?

That Monday, I expected the same routine.

I was only working six hours, so I just bit the inside of my cheek and decided to bare it, just like I did every other day that I worked at this godforsaken clothing store – I didn’t even like fashion, for fuck’s sake. That should be pretty obvious since I only ever come to work in t-shirts, jeans, and dirty sneakers that were falling apart – thank you, Walmart, for your wonderful quality in shoes.

I said goodbye to my mother, and promised to call her which I had no intention of doing – I mean, come on, I only get fifteen minutes, and I fully intend on spending those minutes trying to stay alive!

Since it was seven in the morning, and the store did not open until ten, I was forced to stand there looking like an idiot, pushing the little white button until my supervisor came power walking to the door with the keys. The older woman would smile and greet me with the typical good morning routine before telling me what I would be doing that day.

After her explanation, I’d take the elevator to the second floor – and god was it slow – before heading to the pricing office. Just like always, my team was already back there, scrambling around getting pricing books and sheets, picking out the cart they wanted, and trying to find a scanner that actually worked – those were few and far between, believe me.

The women would greet me, but it was nothing beyond a simple ‘good morning‘. Though I wanted to say something else, I never did, because I never knew what to say, and I knew I could never hold a conversation without doing something I’d regret. It was easier just to keep it short and simple. Seeing these women did make me feel a bit happy, even though we weren’t friends. I liked their presence, and they could be rather funny when they worked together.

Today we were looking for clearance in the Men’s department. Apparently, we had about fifty sheets of stuff to find, though I was sure we’d only be successful in about half the list, if that.

When nine-forty rolled around, I attended the meeting just so I could sit down for a few minutes, though nothing they discussed had anything to do with my team and, to be completely honest, I could care less about who got the most ICAPS, and who got the best reviews on the survey.

Good for them.

Give ’em a damn cookie and move on.

I took my time after the meeting ended because I decided to take my break now, so I could have fifteen more minutes without the threat of customers. I always did this when I worked six-hour days; it was starting to become a routine.

With those fifteen minutes, I spent them in the air-conditioned break room, in the back corner – or emo corner, as I’ve officially dubbed it -, trying to collect my thoughts and prepare myself for the horrible experience I was going to be throwing myself into it. It took a lot to calm myself down, but I managed it, just like always.

If only I had known how different that day was going to be.

If only I had known what was really going to happen to me that day.

I really should have stayed home.

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📜 Read more by checking out my masterlist 📜

#original #writing #creative writing #writeblr #scenario #scenarios #slice of life #angst #one shot

[midnighthyuck]

We both know | Jaehyun Imagine.

summary: You both knew that dealing with a broken heart Jaehyun wasn’t how you expected to spend the weekend, but still, you both knew you couldn’t just say no to him.   OR;  Johnny was actually just craving some pizza.

words: 890.

pairing: jaehyun & reader.

a/n: sorry about any mistakes, english is not my native language! hope you guys like it.

requests are open!

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Hating Jaehyun was just part of daily basis. From the way he’d run his fingers through his hair whenever laughing about something you said, to how stupid he was for falling in love so easily. You didn’t sign for being best friends with that jerk for taking care of his broken heart.  

“We get it, you’re suffering, but this pizza, though.” Johnny closed his eyes delightfully appreciating his favorite pizza flavor while leaning on your sofa.  

“It’s not that I’m suffering. It’s just... How can I be sad if we don’t even have a thing.” Jaehyun sighed, frowning while reaching the coffee table on a lazy attempt of getting himself a slice of pizza.  

“You’re way too coward.” you laughed, handing him the slice that was already on your hand, finally getting him to smile a bit.

It’s been over three fucking weeks he wouldn't stop complaining about these feelings that had suddenly appeared somewhere inside his belly. That's how he would describe it. Even when talking about ordinary stuff he was that cringy. Though, he apparently wasn’t able to express his feeling towards to them.  

‘I haven’t had the chance’, ‘It’d be weird to confess out of sudden’, ‘I’m afraid’.

Bullshit. He was shy. Period.

Jaehyun was too much of a perfect guy, but if there was something he feared, it definitely was being caught up in embarrassing situations.  

“Ok, now quiet!’’ Johnny now had his eyes wide open and focused on the TV.  

When you agreed on holding a sleep over at yours to have some pizza, comfort Jaehyun and watch some horror movies you didn’t think that Johnny would be the one choosing it. The thing was, his taste for cinema sucked. That’s why you and Jaehyun were way more focused on your phones than on the maniac running after people with his chainsaw.  

You laughed at yourself. You knew he wasn’t for real, but just as you knew it, he also knew that, beside all the hate you love showing over him, you still held a soft spot for him, especially when playing hurt.  

Jaehyun knew the moment he got up heading to the kitchen that you’d follow him, disturb him some more and apologize even though both of you knew it was all a joke.  

“Ok mr. Jung Jaehyun, I'm so sorry.” you joined him playing hurt. “It wasn’t that bad.”

You actually meant it. The memory was still pretty vivid in your mind.  

At the age of 14, both of you, the nerds, tired of being the only ones who had never kissed before, agreed doing it just for ‘scientific reasons’. I bet it ain’t all that good, as people claim. But you bet it wrong. In fact, your secretly first kiss, sitting on Jaehyun’s living room, was anything but bad.

Awkward? Hell yeah. But not bad.

Maybe that was when you started hating him. He was way too perfect.  

“I thought we came here to help me today.” he said, still facing the dishes he was putting on the sink. “But you ain’t helping.”

You rolled your eyes, getting closer to the big baby you used to call best friend. “I’m sorry, Jae.’’  

“I hate when you call me that.” he still wouldn’t face you.  

You laughed. “We both know you don’t. Hey, look at me” you held his face with both hands getting him to make eye contact. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make you this depressed. Didn’t know my opinion on your kisses were so important.” you laughed once again.

“What do you expected me to do when the girl I’ve been trying to confess to says my kiss sucks?”. He flushes.  

On the following second you let go of his face, feeling yourself getting blushed. He was kidding, you knew it. Still it was a bit too much.

Awkward, that’s how you’d describe the, what felt like, minutes you spent in silent inside your kitchen.

“I told you it’d be weird to confess.”

“Wait. Is it a joke?” you asked, now finally facing him.

“No.” he answered simply. “I’m sorry about it.”

You didn’t really know what was that weird new feeling filling up your whole body, but it felt good.  

In one second you were staring at each other. In the very next your lips were touching.

“Do I still suck?”

“You never really did, mr. Perfect.” you laughed blushing. “Jeez, I hate you.”

“Come on, we both know you don’t.” he laughed, kissing you again just to make sure he was right.  

“Guess it ain’t the best moment to step in and say that I’ve eaten the whole pizza, and that I don’t mind ordering another one if you guys want to.” Johnny claim from the door, holding the empty box on both hands.

Later that night, when Johnny dragged Jaehyun away from your house with him, stating he wouldn’t be alone while you make out, before leaving, Jaehyun took you aside where your friend couldn’t see both of you.

“Can I call you mine?” he asked, holding your hands. “I mean, from now on.”

“I hate how cringy you are!” you laughed, hugging him and lying your lips on his.

“Oh, we both know you don’t.” Jaehyun laughs, kissing you deeply.  

Maybe you always knew.  

Mr. Perfect was now yours. And you were his.

#nct imagines #jung jaehyun #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun #nct scenarios #nct au #nct aus #jaehyun au #jaehyun scenarios

[azuremist]

Around a month ago (or a few weeks ago, I don’t have long term memory), I made a post along the lines of ‘should I make a top ten Animal Crossing villagers list’? And even if it got no notes, I knew I was going to do it anyways, because I wanted to infodump about Animal Crossing and I still do! But I don’t think I actually knew what I was getting into; when I went through the list of all the Animal Crossing villagers, picking my favorites, I ended up with over 30 villagers that I really loved. So it’s now a top ten list, plus five honorable mentions that would have killed me upon impact to exclude. (And even then, I still ended up excluding some villagers that physically hurt me to leave out.)

So anyways, what I’m saying is, here’s my top ten Animal Crossing villagers, plus honorable mentions, AKA literally just one big infodump.

#10: Carmen

Carmen is a peppy rabbit whose color scheme is clearly based off of mint chocolate chip. She’s one of my current villagers, and honestly, I got so excited when I saw her. I didn’t know she existed before, and I adore mint chocolate chip/food-themed villagers! One of my favorite fun facts about her is her catchphrase. I thought her catchphrase, ‘nougat’, was just a funny way of saying ‘nugget’, to go with her food theme. However, it’s a reference to a completely different food, which is made with nuts! Going back to her design, something about the way she looks makes her look both sassy and soft, and I love the vibes she gives off. So glad to have this funky bunny in my village.

(Rest is under the cut! :])

#9: Stella

I honestly didn’t realize how partial I was towards sheep villagers until after I made this list.

So anyways, Stella just looks so calm and almost sleepy, which is a look that I really love on sheep-based characters, because of the tradition of counting sheep to fall asleep. She is perpetually blushing, which is an instant plus in the character design department for me. But her catchphrase, ‘baa-dabing’, just makes me think of her as a huge dork! A very sleepy and soft dork who I love.

#8: Fauna

I consider Fauna a fairly popular villager, and I completely understand why. Her warm color scheme makes her look extremely welcoming, plus her cute appearance (again, with the blushy cheeks) makes her seem sweet and kind. Even her catchphrase, ‘dearie’, gives off almost motherly vibes. Adding to her motherly view from me is her skill being math and her goal being to become a teacher, which would help me a ton, because I suck at math! One of my favorite things about her comes in her Pocket Camp profile, which describes her as being very friendly and getting along with everyone, and her only true flaw being her competitive streak. This is followed up by advice to not look at her while playing cards. I love characters who are friendly and cutesy, but once you flip a certain switch, they enter ‘serious mode’.  I love Fauna, and I would let her beat me in Mario Kart.

#7: Mitzi

I love Rosie as much as the next person, but personally, my favorite blue cat has to be Mitzi. She was one of the original villagers in my very first Animal Crossing towns, and she was very quickly one of my favorites in the village, because of her resemblance to a Siamese cat, which was one of my favorite breeds of cats. She was the first villager I ever sent a letter to or talked to, because I was drawn to her design, and I consider her my best friend in-game. She’s very nostalgic for me, but even if she didn’t have that tie to my childhood, I still think I’d adore this funky little cat!

#6: Cherry

I don’t know to describe why I love Cherry except she gives me goth lesbian big sister vibes. Her personality type is literally ‘uchi’, which translates to ‘big sister’, which means she’s tough but caring and protective. Her profile says that she’s good to take to a concert, because you’d never lose each other, hinting she may make sure you’re safe. Even despite this, she has huge goth/emo vibes, with her appearance and catchphrase being ‘what what!’ I desperately want this fictional red dog to take me to a rock concert and be my older sibling.

#5: Etoile

Remember how I said I love sleepy sheep? Yeah. Etoile is everything I love about Stella, but bass boosted. More pastel? Check. More themes of sleep and nighttime, with her name translating to ‘star’? Check. Blushy cheeks? Check!

Etoile is one of the Sanrio villagers, based off of the Little Twin Stars. I adore all of the Sanrio villagers, but Etoile is easily my favorite, despite my favorite actual Sanrio character being Cinnamoroll. And, despite not usually taking interior design into account, holy CRAP does Etoile have her aesthetic on POINT with her house! Like, I want to live in her house with everything within me, and it fits her perfectly.

I may not know much about the Little Twin Stars, but I adore Etoile.

#4: Lucky

Honestly, my favorite thing about Lucky is simply about how his name ties to his appearance in irony. He’s in a full-body cast, and his catchphrase insinuates he constantly hurts himself on accident, making him extremely unlucky. So imagine addressing someone as Lucky as he continuously trips and hurts himself. I love it. Also, I look WAYYY too deep into his lazy personality and take it as him having depression because of his presumably-permanent injuries, and so, when I got him in my village when I was going through a depression spell, it made me super happy. Something about Lucky makes me look way too deep into his character, but I love him because of it! Super good comfort character.

#3: Pietro

Pietro gets a lot of hate because of his clownish appearance. I’m sure you’ve either seen the comic of someone hitting him with a net over and over to make him move away, or the picture of someone using the megaphone to call him an abomination in-game. But those people are, uh, how do you say it…

COWARDS.

Pietro is a GOOD lad, and I’m happy to see lots of people liking him more with the rise of clowncore. This is another one of the villagers that was in my first town, though he moved in later. I was never afraid of clowns that weren’t purposefully coded as scary, so I ended up really liking him! As a kid I loved extremely colorful characters, so his rainbow theme really made me attached to him, which has lasted until this day!

#2: Goldie

Goldie is another fairly popular villager who I adore. I didn’t like her that much, though, until Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp. She comes with the ‘natural’ theme, and one of her quotes describes her reading a book that the sun makes people feel happy. She also wants for you to craft a harpsichord. This makes her come across as a helpful, bookish sweetheart. Like, she seems like the kind of girl who would dream of living in a cottage, and she seems like a great gal to have as a friend.

Also, she and Cherry are uhhhhh girlfriends. Thank you and goodnight.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

I have a lot of favorite villagers, but I didn’t want to make this too long, so here are some honorable mentions that only just barely didn’t make the cut.

Muffy:

Are you KIDDING? A PASTEL GOTH SHEEP?! It’s like they were attempting to design a character to cater specifically for me! I honestly was shocked when she didn’t find her way onto the final top ten. I love her.

Stitches:

Again, another villager that feels like it was made for me specifically. I love stuffed animals so much, and I specifically have memories of loving a well-worn teddy bear, making me love Stitches instantly.

Chai:

Remember how I said I loved the Sanrio villagers? And how Cinnamoroll was my favorite Sanrio character? And how I love pastels? Oh, and did I mention that I love tea and tea-themed characters? Yeah.

Okay! With those friends out of the way, it’s time to announce my #1 friend!!

#1: Merengue

What can I say except ‘I’m predictable?’

I’ve jokingly asked multiple friends to kinassign me an Animal Crossing villager, and almost every time they assigned me Merengue. Which, I mean, understandable. She’s pink, always blushing, and food-themed. Plus, she’s a baker! I’ve, personally, always wanted to learn to cook and bake; I’ve only ever really made cake and brownies. Her hobby is also doodling, meaning she likes to draw, just like me! I love the creative use of the horn to put a strawberry on her, and (I’m probably projecting with this) I like how large she is? I don’t know, I love the fact that the most food-related animal is a big animal like a rhino, and it makes me feel super happy.

Merengue also reminds me of Alcremie, a new Pokemon which I really like, so I guess that the pink and whipped cream-related idea just sort of makes me drawn to something! She’s an extremely large and friendly gal, and she seems like she would make me muffins when I’m sad. 10/10, would actually die for this pink baker rhino.

#animal crossing #acnl #ac #acnh #animal crossing new leaf #azure does a thing

[acrobaticcatfeline]

Unstable (A Fe Sides Fic)

Word Count: 2171

TW: It’s another vent fic babyyy swearing, yelling, insults, threats (sort of), an excess of anxiety, there’s an intrusive thought from one of them about jumping off of a building but its one line that she gets scolded for. I think that’s it but if there’s more let me know!

Notes: I had a really rough week last week and now that I’m done with school I have time to write fun things again and I needed a vent. It also is part of rebuilding my personal mind palace! I plan on making more with these guys, they are really easy to write honestly, it was like an out of body experience.

Pairings: Lol nope, not even a little bit no.

Summary: The mind palace was usually quiet. The facets did not all get along, and everyone is high strung during Quaranfinals. Someone needs to step in and get this train moving again.

The mind palace was usually rather quiet. All facets left each other alone for the most part, hoping to stay functional and avoid unnecessary fusions but the last few weeks had been out of the norm. Inge was high strung as ever and was snapping at the smallest inconveniences and that wasn’t even addressing the others.

“Listen here you unstable mother fucker! We don't have time for your whiny depressed bullshit right now! She has two huge finals and your fucking cahoots with Barbie is the opposite of helpful! She needs to WORK and you guys are actively working against that! Don't either of you care about her future?!”

“How about you shut your trap for 5 seconds and drop your high and mighty act? The only reason me and Izzy have been working against you is because you have been failing at your job ever since this quarantine started. If you actually did your fucking job maybe me and Iz wouldn’t be falling down a hole ourselves. For someone who needs to have so much control all the time it's surprising how little you’re ever able to keep. You act like you're the ringleader around here when it's obviously Izzy and Lia. I may not like Lia but at least she can work with me. You on the other hand-”

Lia and Isadora were nervous. They were onlookers in the argument and couldn't get a word in edgewise to stop them. Izzy was trying to hide in her Roman Sanders sweater and Lia was hidden in her hoodie that was too big on her, biting her thumb as her eyes darted everywhere but the fight. In the real world Fe was closing her laptop with a sigh, desperate to go and take a nap. She looked quickly to Izzy with all she had to say, communicated in the glance. Suddenly the palace shook and Inge snapped her head at Lia who was very interested at her chewed up Crocs and not the anger filled gazes directed at her.

“LIA WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

“She's too stressed. If you keep at this you're gonna wake up T and that wont help you in getting her to do her work. If T gets up right now she's gonna fail and we all know it. Let Izzy calm her down for a bit. See, she's only taking a half an hour long nap, like her dad told her to. We all just need to chill for a bit.”

Lia was scratching at her face and Inge finally let the anger and annoyance leave her. She gently swatted at Lia’s hand, placing a quickly conjured sheet of bubble wrap in it. Lia smiled at the floor, still not meeting her eyes, vaguely worried at the signs of T waking up, hoping beyond hope that she was just still channeling the hyperactivity that Fe was plagued with. Izzy was meanwhile glassy eyed, placing herself on the floor blindly, waving her hands about in a way that all three recognized as her weaving a dream. It was wonderful to watch, extremely relaxing to see her go off on an adventure of her own design. It was almost meditative to watch her methodical movements, the simple twists of her wrists as she moved the story along. Lia busied herself with popping the bubbles, as Carli and Inge both left to busy themselves in their own wings of the palace. Lia sat across from Isadora, glancing up at her every once in a while. She muttered quietly to herself and maybe Izzy as well.

“She's waking up. I don't know what we’re gonna do, we really gotta get Fe through this last week, but Isa will stop us, I know she will, but how are we supposed to still get things done”

“We’ll figure it out”

Lia’s head snapped up at Izzy whose eyes were still unseeing as she spoke.

“Talisa works with us. We just need to convince her to use her strengths to support us in this. I know she can. Besides, dreams are so much more fun with her around. Who knows, maybe daydream mode will help her write her essay”

Lia smiled softly as she felt comfortable enough to look Izzy in the eyes that couldn't see her. She nodded and went back to her bubble wrap, far more content with the slow draining of anxiety from her body. At least until the palace shook again.

“AAAAAH!!! Well what a wonderful time to be alive eh? Heh, that's a joke, gods, she's asleep and she's still exuding panic like no one's business!”

Out of a darkened corridor walks Talisa in all her glory and self deprecation. There was yet another shake as Fe awoke. Isadora’s eyes cleared in an instant as she rose to her feet.

“Oh boy, Pops woke her up? Ooooh that's not great. I'm sure she's gonna be off all day huh Iz? Oh that's just fuel for this, gosh what have I missed?”

“Quarantine you lucky bitch”

Izzy walks to her with a cocky grin and does a simple handshake with the crazy eyed side. Talisa’s eyes glance around the room. She grins wider, scratching at her scalp.

“All this panic and mania and I wasn't invited? I feel like I should be insulted!”

Lia rose as well, abandoning the bubble wrap as the need to stim left her, and walked over. She smiled small and avoided her face.

“She's got homework. Its, it's all homework now, everything's homework. I haven't been helpful much, but I knew you would probably make it all harder for her, I've been enough of a hindrance for her, I imagined she probably wouldn't do well being overly mentally compromised AND lazy as all get out”

“Oh Lia! I'm wounded! I'm not all bad! Plus-”

There was a sudden shift of the palace again as Fe sat down and started furiously writing her essay, anxiety as her fuel, aided by a giant cup of soda from the gas station.

“A little blood pumping’s good for the brain, ain't it? She just needs a little push! Maybe off of a building eh? Sounds like a ball!”

“Yo, you've been up for less than 5 minutes, stop with that shit, give her a week maybe? So we can properly talk her down?”

“Oh fine, I guess my premium service can wait to activate!”

Her hands moved from her scalp to her arms, scratching without conviction. Isadora softly took her hand off, stopping the scratching and handing her a fidget cube to replace the destructive stim.

“Ohhhh! This is neato mojito Dora!!! Where'd you think this un up? It's pretty! It's my colors too! Ain't that sweeter than molasses! Why I've been so rude, how've you been doing Dora? And you Lia?”

The two smiled. They genuinely liked her, she was nice to be around, while she had her problems, she didn't get mean and angry like Inge and Carli do. She was just… manic. A little odd, maybe crazy, but she wasn’t mean. She didn't yell, and it calmed the two. And they got along well anyways, Lia because she often was a placeholder for her when Fe wasn’t extra out of it and knew how to deal with her quirks, and Dora because divergence fed her like nothing else, made her imagination run wild.

“Whoo! Well ladies, looks like I've got my work cut out for me eh? She invited that boy over last week and that was the first time she saw him in weeks? Oh and her other school friend left her group chat? Yikes, she's a right mess!”

“Yup. she… hasn't been adjusting well to all of this well”

“I’ll say!”

Talisa fidgeted absently with the cube in her hand as she walked around the palace commons, looking around at the scenery. The walls, usually a light lavender were dark violet and the paint was peeling in spots, revealing a gooey black underside. The TV was stuck on a looping image of the most recent Sanders Sides episode. She grinned wide enough to look uncanny, bending her back to crack her spine, almost splitting in half and did a spin as she rose again. She interlocked her fingers and cracked the lot of them and twisted her neck to pop that as well. 

“What are you about to do?”

“Why, what I do best dear Lia!”

She jumped in the air snapping her fingers twice. Her appearance changed, her extraordinarily unruly hair was tied back in a ponytail, tucked through the hole in the back of her baseball cap with the Slytherin logo across the front of it. Her shirt that had been well worn from being worried between her fingers as well as used as pajamas, changed to a tangent hoodie, her shorts with frayed strings switched to a flower patterned pair of leggings, and a skateboard appeared under her feet. She spun around on the board with her wild smile never leaving her face.

“WE’RE ON THE HIGHWAY TO HYPERFOCUS BABES!!! And a little smidge of depression but hey it’ll add to its effectiveness”

It was then that Inge and Carli came running and screamed simultaneously.

“LIA YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KEEP HER ASLEEP!!!”

“Couldn't you for once just do something that was helpful for Fe?”

Talisa stopped in mid spin, turning slowly to look at Carli and Inge. She was no longer smiling. She was glaring and she stepped off of her board and took slow methodical steps towards the two.

“Now now girls, there's no need to scream!”

She was completely in Inge’s face when she said her next words.

“Isn't that right brainiac?”

Inge nodded instantly, fear filling her instantly. Talisa then turned to Carli and grabbed her by the collar of her dress. She glared hard into her eyes and began to grin as Carli’s eyes filled with panic and she avoided her gaze.

“And just for your information, Lia is more helpful than you could ever hope to be, you coward. For someone whose supposed to be confidence you’d think you might be able to share some of that with our host instead of sitting in your room at 3 in the morning and crying into Ramen over the fact that she still isn't in a relationship”

She released Carli, who fell to the ground and scrambled as far away from her as possible and sobbed quietly in the corner she curled up in. and then a moment later, her entire demeanor changed and she smiled happily.

“Oh hi there gals! I was just starting to get Fe to get working!”

Inge blinked owlishly. Her head tilted, as if the whole interaction before held no merit over what Talisa had just said.

“What? But I thought?”

She walked to the TV screen, changing the screen to be a first person view of Fe working away on her essay. Inge made a noise of confusion as she looked back at Talisa yet again.

“But, but you’re a hindrance! You, you make her life a living hell, how is she still doing her work?”

“You know what I do right? Like, you know what my job is? Come on pinky and the pain, I do ADHD yeah, but I also do anxiety and depression. If she doesn't get this stuff done she’ll fail, doncha think that'd drive her to be anxious enough to get it done? If she doesn't she’ll be depressed as all hell, there's no chance she can do law school if she can't even pass an English course. And the bonus of ADHD is that sticky hyperfocus! She’ll be done with that essay before Thursday, and that test for math?”

The palace shook again as the TV showed her turning in her math test. Talisa grinned.

“I’d say it was a walk in the park, wouldn't you? But you know, on an unrelated note, we should really fix that shaking affect, makes me dizzy”

Inge stared in shock and Carli did the same. Talisa stuffed her hands into her front pocket on her jacket and went over to the beanbag across from the TV and plopped down onto it. She pulled her right hand out and chewed on her thumb as she watched the screen. Her job was done for the moment so she let herself relax as she felt the others do the same. Inge rushed back to her room to help aid Fe with the memories needed for writing her essay, but the others placed themselves somewhere in the common room. Carli sat on her love seat and watched the screen intently. Izzy fell asleep quickly, not being needed for the moment, same for Lia, the both of them curling up with Talisa. She let her left hand leave her pocket to pat Lia's head. The only noise was coming from the soft snoring of the sleeping sides and the TV projecting the real world. Finally, finally, the mind palace was quiet again.

Taglist: @fivebyfive-finebyfive @tacohippy56900 @analogical-mess @crookedlyoptimisticdestiny @angels-and-dreams @fandomloverangel

Let me know if you want to be tagged in my writing or taken off my list!

Thank you for reading I will see you later ladies lords and nonbinary royalty!

#my ocs #my sides #lia fe #isadora fe #talisa fe #inge fe #carli fe #tw swearing #tw cursing #my writing #original story

[melodiiousnocturne]

(  dylan  wang  ,  cismale  ,  he  /  him  ,  kingdom  hearts  )  *  &.  i  know  it  must  be  scary  for  you  ,  demyx  ,  after  surviving  the  takeover  .  to  turn  into  someone  like  myde  lu  ,  a  twenty-one  year-old  part  time  clerk  at  the  hq  and  part  time  instructor  at  the  record  scratch  ,  right  here  in  castle  town  .  just  remember  that  you  are  as  easygoing  as  you  are  indolent  ,  and  to  be  wary  ,  be  safe  ,  be  true  to  who  you  are  :  neutral  through  and  through  .

hi  as  i  said  in  gc  ,  this  is  one  big  tl;dr  i’m  a  demyx  stan  !

BEFORE  CASTLE  TOWN.

where  do  i  begin

demyx  —  number  ix  in  organization  xiii  (  demyx  vc  :  are  we  still  gonna  call  ourselves  organization  xiii  now  that  there’s  14  of  us  ?  )  he  is  ...  lazy  .  arguably  the  most  cowardly  of  the  bunch  ,  doesn’t  like  fighting  ,  and  would  rather  nap  or  play  music  .

that  being  said  ...  despite  his  very  emotional  exterior  in  comparison  ,  we  have  seen  that  he  can  get  just  as  serious  /  dark  like  the  rest  of  them  if  he  really  needs  to  ...  

idk  i  have  a  lot  of  feelings  .

he’s  very  ??  idk  how  to  explain  it  bt  like  .  “  what’s  in  it  for  me  ?  ”  (  as  we  really  see  in  kh3  )  &  like  .  i  wld  say  he  is  a  mix  of  ravenclaw  /  slytherin  just  .  minus  the  whole  cutthroat  ambition  of  slytherin  etc  bc  tbh  that  isn’t  him  .  he’s  kinda  just  along  for  the  ride  .  i  am  rejecting  those  MoM  theories  and  i’m  not  sorry  ab  it  idc  if  they  say  it’s  true  ,  i  REFUSE  .

i  feel  like  since  demyx  allegedly  never  remembered  his  somebody  life  ,  he  probably  didn’t  care  as  much  ab  the  whole  kingdom  hearts  thing  because  he  didn’t  drink  the  kool-aid  because  like  why  would  he  want  a  life  that  he  doesn’t  even  remember  you  know  ??  plus  it’s  —  he  already  knew  xemnas  &  saïx  were  fucken  lying  when  they  said  the  nobodies  didn’t  have  hearts  JKDWJHSNS  why  did  he  need  to  be  a  somebody  to  regain  a  heart  when  he  believed  he  already  had  one  !!!

whatever  ....  lmao

anyway  demyx  in  the  manga  was  honestly  a  mood  and  a  half  i  adore  him

when  he  was  brought  back  to  the  organization  for  kh3  ,  he  was  made  into  a  seeker  of  darkness  —  meaning  baby  water  boy  got  NORTED  .  his  ears  didn’t  appear  to  be  pointed  in  some  way  (  like  the  others  )  so  it’s  safe  to  say  he  didn’t  get  as  much  of  xehanort’s  heart  placed  inside  of  him  .  bt  it  was  enough  to  turn  his  pretty  blue  eyes  into  that  ominous  gold  .

regardless  ,  he  was  benched  despite  going  through  that  whole  process  which  like  i  HIGHLY  doubt  is  an  easy  one  to  even  do  (  so  good  on  demyx  for  being  strong  enough  to  withstand  it  ,,,  )  bt  it’s  !  to  be  noted  !  because  he  felt  bitter  ab  being  demoted  after  ,  and  ofc  with  a  mystery  incentive  from  vexen  ,  demyx  finally  took  the  offer  of  backstabbing  the  organization  (  read  :  it  goes  back  to  what  i  said  ab  him  being  like  well  what’s  in  it  for  me  .....  since  before  he  got  apparently  satisfied  enough  ,  he’s  like  uhhhh  sorry  bt  have  u  seen  what  happens  to  idiots  who  betray  these  guys  lol  like  idk  ab  all  that  )

so  basically  self-preservation  of  a  slytherin  .  there  i  said  it  !  plot  twist  he  isn’t  a  coward  ,  he’s  just  smart  enough  to  not  throw  himself  head  first  into  danger  .  go  figure  ,  right  ?  like  look  alright  he  may  be  comedic  relief  bt  ...  he  is  also  more  than  that  !

in  the  organization  he  was  known  to  kinda  be  a  bully  /  play  pranks  /  manipulate  others  into  doing  his  work  for  him  bt  at  the  end  of  the  day  he  ??  isn’t  like  .  REALLY  a  bad  guy  or  whatever  .  saying  it  was  the  pressure  of  the  organization  is  dulling  everything  down  ,  because  he  still  actively  chose  to  do  what  he  did  and  didn’t  do  and  i  will  hold  him  responsible  for  it  ,  bt  .  u  know  .  shit  happens  !

like  we  have  canon  evidence  he  wld  join  in  xigbar  when  it  comes  to  the  more  like  .  idk  i  guess  harsher  teasing  ?  and  all  ?  and  like  again  demyx  made  the  conscious  choice  to  go  along  w  it  so  he  isn’t  innocent  bt  ,  i  firmly  stand  by  saying  demyx  unintentionally  looked  up  to  xigbar  despite  even  ‘  fighting  ’  with  him  ,  bc  ..  well  .  i  stan  them  being  a  That  duo  .  because  to  me  ,  he’s  just  a  prankster  who  wants  a  laugh  ..  even  at  the  expense  of  another  ..  which  yea  idk  still  yikes  ...  bt  it  isn’t  like  ,  malicious  ..  when  he  is  on  his  own  ..  imo .  i  mean  take  the  days  manga  ,  he  puts  a  whoopee  cushion  on  axel’s  chair  ?  bitch  pls  ..

(  also  quick  going  back  to  him  being  strong  enough  to  accept  getting  norted  —  please  just  remember  ....  nobodies  aren’t  even  supposed  to  exist  !  they  only  technically  form  when  the  person  who  lost  their  heart  is  strong-willed  &  tbh  ?  i  think  it  speaks  volumes  for  demyx  bc  despite  the  show  he  puts  on  ,.....  he  is  there  .  )

alright  so  look  i  know  i  sound  like  i  am  in  denial  of  the  MoM  stuff  and  that  mayhaps  be  so  .  however  there’s  definitely  smthin  off  .  like  we  KNOW  he  can  be  uhhhh  a  pos  like  the  remark  he  has  in  days  ab  how  the  castle  that  never  was  is  quieter  without  everyone  who  was  eliminated  at  castle  oblivion  ,  bt  —  it  was  always  a  really  weird  line  to  me  because  he’s  always  been  branded  as  the  most  emotional  of  the  organization  /  the  one  who  adamantly  believed  they  had  hearts  the  whole  time  ?  which  .  inch  resting  !  i  wld  like  to  formally  say  ONE  OF  THESE  is  a  fucken  coping  mechanism  of  sorts  or  smthin  bc  it’s  really  ...  a  lot  and  nothing  makes  sense  and  like  that’s  the  entirety  of  kh  lore  in  a  nutshell  bt  ya  .  like  i  think  it  ties  into  the  whole  self-preservation  thing  bc  it’s  like  ,  wow  they  really  went  and  got  themselves  fucken  murked  ...  how  dumb  ...  bt  at  the  same  time  bc  like  again  the  biggest  pusher  for  #nobodieshavehearts  ,  it’s  like  “  oh  that’s  depressing  ”  &  like  .  a  mess  .

idk  what  else  to  say  for  this  besides  he  was  really  great  at  recon  &  apparently  was  a  keyblade  wielder  in  the  past  !  which  subsequently  makes  me  emo  on  main  bc  he’s  really  out  here  like  lmao  nah  that’s  ...  it’s  cool  bt  like  hm  idk  sounds  like  kinda  fake  u  know

again  fuck  canon  if  it  does  u  know  what

AFTER  CASTLE  TOWN.

where  do  i  begin  ,  chapter  2

now  myde  is  actually  my  hc  somebody  name  for  demyx  so  like  going  off  that  it  technically  is  his  real  first  name  ....  he  just  doesn’t  know  that  bc  although  he  survived  this  ,  he  didn’t  uh  really  remember  his  old  somebody  life  so  like  lmao  fuck  all  honestly  this  life  could  be  his  real  life  for  all  he  knows

except  he  does  know  it  isn’t

so  like  he’s  ??  more  of  a  somebody  in  castle  town  opposed  to  a  nobody  meaning  he  !  has  a  whole  fucken  heart  now  !  although  because  his  eyes  are  still  indeed  gold  ,  he’s  kinda  like  well  shit  is  old  man  xehanort  still  in  there  too

anyway  myde  lu  ..  my  son  ...  the  memories  of  castle  town  life  are  .  something  else  .  he  grew  up  with  a  single  mother  who  worked  odd  jobs  here  and  there  struggling  to  make  money  to  provide  .  so  while  demyx  is  like  ah  fuck  working  i  don’t  wanna  fucken  do  this  ,  he  got  two  part  time  jobs  the  moment  he  could  to  help  her  out  .  because  even  if  she  isn’t  his  real  mother  ,  it’s  ???  really  nice  to  have  someone  caring  ab  him  :/

he  rooms  with  neko  /  noriko  now  because  an  ad  on  craigslist  bt  he  still  sends  some  of  his  paychecks  &  like  whatever  money  cut  he  gets  from  the  troubvdours  (  also  ,  ironically  from  a  fucken  craigslist  ad  !  )  etc  to  castle  town  mom  bc  honestly  life  in  castle  town  has  kinda  uh  .  made  him  like  .  wow  wait  fuck  haha  oh  man  i  actually  ????  i  can’t  just  nap  and  play  music  and  do  whatever  i  want  ??????  like  i  mean  he  still  does  bt  castle  town  memories  /  the  life  he  was  forced  into  here  made  him  arguably  more  responsible  even  though  he  is  still  a  little  shit  and  completely  at  the  same  time  not  that  responsible  in  the  slightest

it’s  like  .  fake  getting  ur  life  together

idk  he  doesn’t  like  all  the  work  like  he’s  exhausted  bt  it’s  paired  simultaneously  with  he  ?  kinda  also  doesn’t  mind  it  solely  bc  there’s  like  ,,  a  benefit  from  it  ?  like  with  the  two  part  time  jobs  (  which  one  is  being  a  music  instructor  like  i  feel  as  if  he  doesn’t  consider  that  one  much  of  a  job  bc  he  gets  to  play  music  !!  )  it’s  being  able  to  help  the  poor  soul  who  got  stuck  as  his  ‘  caretaker  ’  KKDKWJSJSJ  and  with  the  band  it’s  .  bc  he  is  passionate  ab  music  and  again  although  exhausting  he  loves  to  do  it

boy’s  chaotic  neutral  as  always  bt  i  suppose  castle  town  is  bringing  out  those  hidden  good  tendencies

hmm  he  is  forever  bitter  ab  the  fact  he  didn’t  get  his  sitar  tho  ....  what  the  fuck  is  he  gonna  do  w  his  stupid  organization  cloak  huh  ?  my  god  

so  he  picked  up  rhythm  guitar  bc  it’s  like  .  the  closest  thing  without  getting  an  ACTUAL  sitar  ,  because  !  arpeggios  is  actually  a  rhythm  technique  &  that’s  what  his  sitar  is  named  so  ....  food  for  thought  i  suppose  .  plus  this  world’s  sitar  isn’t  the  same  anyway  :/

despite  being  natural  blond  in  game  etc  i’m  making  the  executive  decision  to  say  he  was  given  naturally  dark  hair  in  CT  &  now  has  to  keep  bleaching  /  dying  his  hair  blond  bc  ....  he  does  not  think  he  suits  black  hair  .  nor  does  he  want  to  .  it  reminds  him  too  much  of  like  idk  xigbar  or  vanitas  or  whatever  with  the  dark  hair  +  gold  eye  combo  u  feel  JDWJJSJSNS

he  dated  isolde  in  CT  &  honestly  i  suggested  it  to  bloom  as  a  crackship  bc  haha  different  bt  then  it  got  really  soft  and  really  emo  so  here  we  are  .  they  close  tho  now  still  &  she’s  the  only  person  he’s  opened  up  to  ab  his  real  life  /  the  organization  so  far  !!

he  is  bi  :/  and  sad  :/  bt  honestly  mood  ,  i  say  as  i’m  pan  not  bi  bt  whatever  :/  

anyway  part  500000  ,  he  sleeps  at  the  library  sometimes  bc  big  gay  still  for  ienzo  and  likes  to  really  just  hang  around  them  bc  he  wants  them  to  remember  being  zexion  ....  &  well  .  more  selfishly  he  wants  them  to  remember  him  bt  like  y  a  h

+  for  the  fact  i  have  not  really  mentioned  it  :  he  still  loves  water  iskaksns  catch  him  like  .  chillin  in  his  bathtub  for  hours  like  bitch  stop  wasting  water  and  the  water  is  FREEZING  by  the  time  he  does  decide  he  is  finished  .  he  misses  his  water  abilities  ok  .  he  can  probably  like  move  stuff  a  little  bit  here  and  there  bt  it’s  Nothing  like  before  :/  yeah  .

idk  what  else  this  is  a  mess  !!  please  plot  with  me  tho  uwu  xoxo

#castletown.intro #uhhhhh i dont ?? think ?? i need any tws lmao #bt it's also very late rn so i dont know what im doing sorry

[problematicmisfit]

Must've been nice to have good, happy highschool memories. I never really enjoyed highschool, or school, in particular.

I've always had this habit of distancing myself from people. Because I've always felt misunderstood and inferior.

Back in highschool I had this stupid thinking that I was special, and I hated the world. So yeah, I was always quiet, with just a friend or two. Always the weird one. I guess you call that a phase, the cringey-emo-teenage phase.

Despite that, I didn't have trouble making friends. I could always make friends if I wanted to. I was introverted, but sociable at times. Just really socially awkward (until now). Then at college I made really good friends. It was way happier than in highschool.

But the thing is, I don't keep in touch with friends at school or work. That is, if we haven't been close. Like super close. It's like if we stop seeing each other for a while, the connection also stops. That's what happened with my college friends. I slowly faded away, in the background. I'm too lazy to keep up with things. And even friends who aren't too close. That's how exclusive I am.

I was already busy at work (I had to drop out of college to work and support my family), and I also met new friends there. It's like I'm still friends with my college friends, but I never initiate messaging them, or asking them how they've been. I'll just reply when they send me a message, and I always remember to greet them on their birthdays. I just don't get much involved anymore.

My life was only work > home > repeat (same when I was studying). I rarely had time going out with friends. Ever. I had no social life, and I didn't mind because I didn't like socializing with people.

It's like we're friends (really), but I don't wanna hang out outside of school or work hours. Weekends and rest days are me time. Always.

And when one of my college friends died, I was shook. To the core. I couldn't believe it. It was so sudden, and so soon. I was even gonna greet her in FB on her birthday, but I didn't do it coz I was so lazy at the time (I hardly ever use Facebook, and I felt really lazy logging in and going through all the notifications). And I was thinking she'll be fine, she has always been fine. With loving family and friends. Me greeting her or not wouldn't really make any difference.

Then just a week after her birthday, she passed away.

Turns out she'd been battling with cancer, and she didn't tell anyone except one of our friends (they were pretty close). I understand why she didn't tell all of us. She had always been private about her life, and I respect that.

But boy I feel so bad, and sad. I feel like crap.

And you know what?

I didn't even go to her funeral. I couldn't. I was a Muslim back then and my religion wouldn't allow that. But I couldn't tell my friends. Because I don't want them to think that it's all about this religion thing that I couldn't go, that it's the last time I could see her but I still chose following my religion.

And the fact that I didn't wanna see our other classmates who would be there too because I didn't get along well with them (so crappy).

I told them it's hard to see her that way, that it's more depressing. It really is, for me. And I know for all of them too. I have fond memories of her, and that's what I like to remember of her. And I'm too scared to face reality. I've always been a coward.

If they think bad about me, I totally understand. I myself know the bullshit that I am. I haven't even talked to them long after that because I'm too ashamed of myself. I just wanna disappear.

But I also hope they understand why I didn't go, although I wouldn't explain it further to them now. It's all in the past, and not that I have the courage to anyway.

I've always disliked funerals. I know it's people's way of mourning their loved ones and saying goodbye, but for me, it's like pouring and rubbing salt in a fresh, unfathomable wound. Because it just hurts more to prolong your goodbye.

You're shredding your own heart to pieces even more and that's the last thing I'd like my family to feel (when I die), more so than what they're already going through in that tough time.

Don't we all have our own ways of dealing with grief? It doesn't have to be standardized. You can't say someone is mourning the wrong way just because they don't mourn the same way you, or most people do.

And don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that it's like that with her. It's just my view on funerals. But to each their own, and I respect that.

I feel really crappy for being like this. I feel like a bad friend. I fucking hate myself.

I still think about her, from time to time. Even out of the blue. Truth is we hadn't been that really close. But she'd been a friend. A really good friend I won't ever forget.

Hurts that she's not here anymore. So many things running in my head when I remember her. So many things I wish she's here to experience too. I just wish I knew what she was going through. Because had I known, I know myself I would've been there. I would have been.

I would have prayed my heart out, and maybe Allah would've heard me, even a little, because I was nicer back then. But now, I don't know. I hate myself.

[goldenkookietae]

Guns and Kinks | KTH | Prologue

BTS Story

Pairing: Mafia!Taehyung AU

Word count: 1,425 words

Warnings: Mature, Abuse, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Depression, Violence, Strong language, Sexual content, Femdom

Summary: Kim Taehyung is not one to break the rules, but his six best friends drag him along in breaking the underage drinking rule. There they witness a frightening murder in the room they were stealing from and can only wish they’d followed the rules for the first time. When the murderer finds out their hiding spot, she offers them a deal. Either she takes Taehyung and lets the rest go unharmed, or she takes all of them and decides their fate forever.

A/N: Keep in mind that Taehyung is not the one from the AU background, he gets sucked into it.

Disclaimer: This story is an AU fanfiction that I have created using the names of the members of BTS. I do not claim any ownership over the members of BTS. The plot and the personalities of the characters are entirely my own.

Do not plagiarize my work and do not repost.

Parts: Guns and Kinks (M) - Prologue

#

Taehyung's chest heaved as silent shivers ran through his body. He could hear the pounding of his heart in his ears, and it didn't help him calm down at all.

The woman standing before him was dangerous. He knew it. She had a dark aura around her. She dressed entirely in black, a black that looked darker than the ink that tainted the pages of his diary. Her eyes were black pools that resembled the voids in the depths of hell.

He unconsciously slithered backwards in fear, until he reached the wall. He realised that it was in fact a walk-in closet which was why all seven of them had fit into it quite easily.

But that only heightened his fear. They were stuck in a confined space and their only way out was now being blocked by a crazy woman who had just committed murder.

Remembering that, his eyes scanned that part of the hotel room which was visible through the now open closet door. And he regretted it the instant his eyes landed on the bloody figure of an oddly twisted man on the bed, a ruby red liquid seeping into the pearly white of the mattress underneath. Taehyung gagged as he turned around and puked the contents of his stomach. The stench of bile and the rusty smell of blood only added to his nausea.

As his mind went fuzzy, he flinched when he felt a figure touched his shoulders.

"Tae, it's me. Jimin." And it was enough for Taehyung to fall limp onto Jimin's shoulder, while the older helped him sit on the floor. On many occasions, Jimin would help him get through his panic attack, something he would always owe Jimin for.

Although, the need for such comfort had been very less, in fact none at all, over the past few months, it surprised Taehyung that Jimin could still calm his anxiety. He guessed, Jimin probably had the soothing aura by nature. He wondered what could be happening to him if not for Jimin. Just the thought of it terrified Taehyung.

"Nothing will happen to us, Tae. Now, take deep breaths." Jimin whispered soothingly, while he put his thumbs on Taehyung's temples and pressed them lightly. The action always managed to calm Taehyung down, even during his most severe panic attacks.

But Taehyung wasn't ready for it this time, and he definitely wasn't dumb to believe that lie. One of the first things he knew, that would only worsen his panic attack was being lied to about their situation being good, when it was obvious that it wasn't. It was true that he had had many panic attacks, but it never meant that he had gotten used to them. Each one was painful. It had vanished temporarily since he met his six friends he was with right then, but now it was back. And he hated it.

"Tae, even if something happens, we'll all be together." Jimin whispered in a firm tone as he looked straight into Taehyung's eyes. He had to admit, he was slightly assured by that, because he trusted his friends with his life.

What had he been thinking? A few moments ago, he had thought of himself as not being weak, but where was he now? Struggling to breathe and slumped against the back of the closet, while his friends stood tall in front him, shielding him from the woman who called herself Anya.

And Anya's thoughts seemed to have run in a parallel direction, as she mocked him in a lazy voice.

"Ah, what a baby! Can't face a gun by yourself, can you? And look at you," she darted her eyes to Jungkook, who stood firmly in front of Taehyung, "trying to act all manly. Pathetic." She spat the last word, her nails scratching against her gun as she lowered it to her side.

Namjoon took this as an opportunity to negotiate with Anya. He took hesitant steps forward, stopping next to Jungkook.

"Look, we don't know what your business here is, but I assure you that if you let us go, we will keep this a secret. Heck, it'll be like this never happened at all."

Anya stared at Namjoon with amused eyes, as though she found the situation funny, while she casually leaned her shoulder against the closet. She looked down to her gun and brought it up to her forehead and laid the side of it against her cheek.

"But it did happen kid. And you lot saw it. I can't let you off the hook that easy." Anya grinned, before her eyes shifted to Taehyung's crumpled form.

"And your reactions are hilarious. Especially that one over there. I'd like to keep him." She stared at Taehyung, licking her red lips, and he could tell by the way his friends had stiffened, that they were holding back only because she had a gun. A gun that she could definitely handle with ease.

And Anya noticed it too, as she let out an arrogant chuckle. She was far too experienced and confident about herself to be mocked by scrawny teenagers. She simply tilted her head before she continued, her eyes sparkling while she bit her lip.

"He could be my new toy. How does that sound, baby boy? Would you like to be my pet? I promise, it will be... naughty."

"Who the fuck do you think you are?"  Jungkook growled taking a step forward, his fists tightening. Before he could do something more, however, Namjoon gripped his shoulder tightly and gave it a light squeeze. It was a subtle message, that anger wouldn't help their situation. And Namjoon was absolutely right in that matter.

Anya liked to play around and was proud of her ability to mess up one’s emotions. She needed to have the power of authority in every situation and she hated it when people undermined it by talking back to her. Sometimes she found it funny, how the person talking down to her one minute would be lying dead at her feet the next.

"Watch your words, pretty boy. And, never, ever raise your voice at me." Anya warned, her tone low and husky, but perfectly clear. She scrutinized Jungkook with distaste, bringing her gun down to her chin, while the said boy tensed.

"Well, don't bother him, he's just a kid." Suga jutted in, earning a glare from Jungkook. Anya smirked at Jungkook before turning her eyes to Suga.

"Let's make a deal. If you let us go-" Suga began, only to be cut off by Anya faking a yawn.

"Then we'll forget we ever saw you shooting a bullet into a man’s head. You told me that. But it's not good enough. I don't see my advantage here." Anya shrugged lazily.

"But we promised we wouldn't spill a word about this to anybody. From the way I see it, you have everything on the plus side here." Suga muttered, baffled.

Anya snorted, shaking her head while she smiled to herself. "What makes you think I need you to keep this a secret? The cops will soon find about the murder and I assure you, they'll never be able to catch me."

"Why won't you just let us go then? A bunch of teenagers are definitely not a threat to you anyway." Hoseok blurted out, but backed away a few steps realizing he had yelled unintentionally.

"I'm having fun, that's all. I will let you go. Eventually. But you will have to pay me a little something before that. You kids are quite disrespectful. And I don’t take such insults lightly."

"Don't even think about it. I'll blow your brains off before you even get your fingers to your pocket." Anya stated in an even tone, taking a long look at Jin who gulped visibly. Slowly his hands moved away from the back pocket he’d stuffed his phone into.

"What do you want?" Namjoon asked desperately, "Just let us go and we'll do anything. How much money do you want?"

It didn't matter if they were offering money to mask a sin with the sole purpose of saving themselves. What help would ethics and morals be of, when they couldn't save their own skin? At this point, they considered it absolutely fine to be selfish. The man was dead anyway. Why put seven lives in danger to stand up for a dead man? Who knew, he probably even deserved it.

"Look at you kids thinking you could bribe me with money. Anyways, that's not what I want." Anya grinned as she looked at the quizzical looks thrown her way.

Her eyes fixed on one person at the corner of the closet, eyes closed, trying to regularize his breathing. In an instant all eyes snapped to the figure crouched on the floor. They dreaded her next words. Anya pointed a finger in his direction.

"I want him."

A painful silence engulfed them, where none of the boys could comprehend anything. At that moment Taehyung snapped out of his trance.

Why him? Why did it always have to be him? Why did he have to be a coward? Why did he have to be weak?

The world was a cruel place. A place that was ruled by bias and bigotry. Where both the strong and the weak made mistakes, but only the weak were punished. Taehyung just happened to be on the unlucky side, and he hated himself for who he was at that moment.

But wasn't this all his fault? Hadn't he been the one who had given away their hideout? Maybe it was fair enough for him to be punished this way.

In a chaos of words, Taehyung heard his friends offer to go instead. And he couldn't say a word. So, he let them.

"But I want him. And none of you. I find him very interesting. He'll be fun to play with." She chuckled.

"There must be another way." He heard Jimin plead.

"Alright. Now, let me offer you all a deal. Either you all come with me. Or I take the boy and you six walks away free. Please do the smart thing boys. He's not worth it anyway. Don't disappoint me."

It was a great deal.  Taehyung couldn't see why they wouldn't take it.

"I'll let you all go. Just give me him."

A moment ago, their only thought had been to save their own lives. But not now. The seven of them were a family. Brothers, who had been together through thick and thin. One would think, what kind of troubles could seven immature teenagers have faced?

But only they would know, troubles don't always come around when one is wise and capable enough to deal with them. Not everybody grows up with an innocent childhood. Some children are forced to take up responsibilities before they can even walk. Not everybody has a perfect family that is the source of happy memories. Many grow up and find themselves one. And that's exactly what had happened with them.

If they lost one of them, they would lose all seven.

"Never." Namjoon stated, bold and confident, though they all recognized the underlying fear in his voice.

"Excellent. More toys to play with." Anya clapped her hands together in enthusiasm as she twirled around.

"Put them in, boys." Anya called out as she lithely jumped out of the only window in the room, and disappeared into the cold night.

The seven of them blinked as they glanced at each other, not sure of what this might lead to. if Anya was walking away, did that mean she let them go? And who had she addressed?

Their question was soon answered when a few other men dressed in black stepped out of the corners of the room, making their presence known.

Taehyung watched each of his friends getting pulled up by their collars, guns pressed to their temples, and being pushed out of the window. He himself, was yanked to his feet a few moments later and Taehyung made no effort to stand on his own. It didn't matter anyway.

He stayed numb as a hand went through all of his pockets, and emptied him of the only memories he had. His belongings might have been cheap, but they were priceless to him. There was a reason he carried them around with him. A reason he carried her around with him.

Taehyung's mind flooded him with memories of her, and his scrambled thoughts drowned out the panicked voices of his friends. He barely noticed the ache in his back as he collided with the cold surface of a jeep.

Her smile was the last thing his mind remembered, before it pulled him into the pitch black of darkness.

#

Masterlist - Main | Masterlist - Imagines | Navigation

#bts taehyung #kim taehyung #taehyung #bts fic #BTS v #bts #bts suga #bts namjoon #bts jimin #bts jungkook #bts jin #dark romance #mafia!taehyung

[01010010-posts]

— keep in touch.

requests: can i request something?? soooo, the bois have a s/o which really really craves lot of attention and cuddling but she can't speak up about it because she's shy and a tad insecure??? (totally not self-insert) you don't have to do it i'll be content either way if you post something different, i love your hc they're so heartwarming!!! love you, stay happy!!!!!

(will do the first one later) hello hello, reckless one was... succulent xD (gimme all dem ass, all dem booty) can i request some more? i saw you're not really sure about nsfw so maybe something mild? like very shameless s/o with sex jokes but not actual action, it could be a good thing to start, just a small suggestion :) and what about s/o who is uncomfortable with touching? bois want touch, s/o want touch but constantly thinks that they shouldn't and bois have to show it's okay (sorry it's 2 but I love you and am thirsty)

since i’m a fucking touchy-feely person this took longer than expected am sorry (no the truth is i really put my heart into RK900’s one bc i’m a bitch and y’all can’t stop me from loving him) is this what you wanted??  hope so!! also can someone please tell if there are some mistakes it’s 4 AM here i’m stupid.

Connor:

• a bit worried when you lean in and suddenly pull back • w-what was that • did u want a kiss? a hug?? some cuddles??? • did he do something wrong? • aaaaAAAAAAAAAA • he sees when you’re staring at him like that • but if you’re not comfortable telling him then…. • what should he do?? should he press you to talk? • he’s just happy with holding hands but • he knows humans want more than just holding hands • he starts to think that maybe the way he touches you is not what you expected • he’s still so-so about romantic human customs?? • maybe he doesn’t properly know how to kiss and you never told him bc you didn’t want to make things awkward between you two • he researches stupid wikihow articles about affection • but his stress level raises every time you avoid kissing him • and one day he kinda snaps and kisses you deeply • and then he gently asks you what’s wrong and maybe you don’t love him anymore? that’s also a possibility but he promises you that he won’t get mad or anything he just wants to know because seeing you like this make his thirium pump ache so much, it hurts. he wants to see you happy, with or without him • you’re there, blushing madly not only for the sudden kiss • but also because this whole time you were worrying about such a stupid thing and honestly?? you feel like shit now • i mean you better do bitch you made this pure boy cry • and you apologize, you tell him that no, of course you love him and him only it’s just…. very difficult for you sometimes to be comfortable with kissing and touching in general. you like his attentions, sure, you love them but let’s say you want a hug while he’s working on some files at home?? even though you know he wouldn’t tell you no or, at least, be rude about it, you’ll surely feel like a burden and you don’t want to feel that. and you don’t want to annoy him. • plus you’re shy!! • he makes the biggest sigh ever • and closes his eyes for a solid ten seconds, then opens them again and just smiles a smile so wide • he was so worried that you didn’t love him anymore?? • he simply tells you that if you want to touch him you can • however if you’re not sure you can ask!! he doesn’t mind you asking him • in fact he’s already picturing that he’ll like that • you asking for a hug or a kiss when he’s in the middle of something? absolutely adorable

RK900:

• very annoyed when you escape from his hugs • or when you avoid his loving gaze • do you think he’s not gonna notice? • he picks this stupid habit of tapping his fingers onto surfaces when you make him nervous • because that’s what you do, that’s right, you make his stress level so high • not that you particularly do something • quite the contrary in fact • why won’t you kiss him so often like you should? • he likes it if you do it often • he wants you to do it often • “you’re not performing normal human affectionate actions. why is that? should I be worried? based on my researches, at this point in a relationship an intimate routine should be well established by now. may I remind you that the act of ‘cuddling’ releases an amount of endorphins good enough to help most humans relax? for this reason may I suggest you to engage in sexual activities– ” • “what the fuck are you blabbering about” • “I was merely saying that it would be beneficial for both of us to pursue physical touch, if you would like to inquire why I can send to your e-mail some highly qualified medical links, they all point out that– ” • “I got that part. It’s– not true tho, that I’m not ‘performing affectionate actions’.” • you have the audacity to tell him this??? YOU HAVE BITCH?? • HE’S BEEN NERVOUS FOR WEEKS NOW AND YOU TELL THIS TO MY PRECIOUS ANGEL??? U DON’T DESERVE HIM • i swear to god he raises an eyebrow so high you think it’s gonna fucking reach his hairline • he licks his lips in disbelief and clicks his tongue • “we roughly kiss ten times a day, which is not an appropriate number considering that you also elude my attempts at giving you other forms of devotion. also, the fact that you’re being so evasive with the topic at hand implies an unnecessary shyness.” • by now you’re fucking red • and you feel so guilty you just want to sink into the couch and disappear • but he catches you before you can melt into the cushions • and he hugs you so tight • slowly hiding his face into your neck, softly inhaling your scent • “it’s okay to stay like this.” • and you return the hug and sigh • “I’m sorry. did I make you worry? I didn’t mean to…. it’s just that, you know, I want to touch you, I really do but– I’m shy. I’ve never felt this comfortable with anyone and I– I think I’m kinda scared to fuck things up, I guess?” • while you’re saying these things he’s already overheating bc are you serious? he didn’t thought you could be cuter than what you already are and yet you’re proving him wrong • if you could see his face? like the deep ocean • he has to raise a hand to cover his mouth bc his accumulated tension melted as soon as he touched you and these are the aftereffects • “there’s no chance for you to ‘mess things up’, like humans like to say, if you’re this cute. please do touch me more often.” • that’s it. • that’s all he has weakly managed to say • please don’t look at him or he’s going to cry • after something like one minute he takes a deep breath and kisses you • you’ve fucking broken him

RK800-60:

• it’s a little impossible for you not to be touched • i mean have you seen this little shit? • he wants he needs to touch you • all the time • like he won’t be able to function properly if you don’t give him at least two kisses every thirty minutes • in fact he doesn’t do shit at work • not that he’s going to willingly work if you’re there with him giving him kisses • he just doesn’t want to work at all okay • he just want to please you bc he cares about you not about his work • the laziest android ever assembled • i think he deviated just bc he was too lazy to work • so when sometimes you act kinda cold towards him his natural response is to be more and more affectionate • but when he notices that you’re being really elusive he gets really worried • he did something bad of this he’s sure • but what • he replays everyday in his head, searching for a clue • but he doesn’t find anything • which makes him more and more worried??? • ‘oh no [name] doesn’t love me anymore’ • his whole world comes crashing down • he get very depressed • why won’t you at least tell him?? • he figured it out already so please just release him from your grasp • but you start to notice too • how he’s not his usual self • how he doesn’t joke a lot • how he just mopes around • how he just doesn’t talk to you about his day • and you feel so bad • but you muster the courage to ask him what’s wrong • and he kinda goes silent • after a bit though he sighs and just shakes his head • “I know that you no longer love me, let’s just– just stop pretending.” • you feel so sick at the pit of your stomach, your heart shatters • “that’s not true– that’s not true at all! I love you so much, please believe me!” • “I said let’s stop pretending. you don’t have to lie to me [name]. I’m not a kid– heck I’m not even a human, what was I thinking when I tangled myself up in this mess.” • you start to sob, you cry endlessly • he’s so weak to your face full of tears • he can’t help himself and all of a sudden he’s hugging you like his life depends on it • “I’m sorry I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. please forget it. you’re not a mess, you’re beautiful and I love you so so so so so much.” he mutters into your ears “I don’t know what I was thinking oh gosh– I’m really sorry, please don’t cry. that’s the last thing I wanted please, shh, it’s all right. I’m a fool, you know that, I just– just–” he sighs “I just thought that you were a bit too cold and I mean, maybe I did something bad? tell me if I did. because I searched and searched but I didn’t find anything in my software that could pinpoint to that. so my most logical conclusion was– I’m such a stupid, am I not?” • “I’m the stupid!” • “no you’re not you’re–” • “I’m the stupid I tell you! I didn’t know how much I was hurting you I–” he’s caressing your back and you’re kinda choking on your hiccups “I thought that I was being too cuddly I– I thought I was annoying you and you were only complying.” • he takes a big breath as relief washes over him • “what– no! of course not! I love you and I love you when you ask for some cuddles and when we kiss before work and and and I just love you. every part of you. even if you asked me to hug you every minute every second I’d still love you. even if you were being really annoying and bratty.” • you’re both two fucking giant stupid just stop this shit and kiss you cowards

#DBH #dbh connor #connor x reader #RK900 x reader #RK800-60 x reader #RK900 #RK800 #RK800-60 #dbh RK800 #dbh RK900 #dbh RK800-60 #detroit become human #dbh imagine #android #headcanon #writing #self-insert #shy!reader #RK800 x reader #connor #request

[catsbythegreat]

Fic Round Up 2018

I did this last year and it was fun, so it’s time to see how this year stands up: 

-Total year-long word count: 291,102 (about 40,000 more than last year)

Word count by fandom: - too lazy to do this but I’m going to assume that almost all of them are BSD 

Fics completed: 56 (down from 65)

*for the fics posted I’ll only post my faves except the chapter fics, which I’ll post all of since there’s not a lot.

Drabbles: - word for a threat that’s also a surprise prompt (skk) - don’t you dare shut me out prompt (skk)  - you’re trembling prompt (atsushi and kyouka friendship)  - what happens if i do this prompt (skk)  - teenage dazai realizes he might like chuuya oh no (skk) - not really a drabble but still a post -- bsd bake off au - chuuaku week day 2: soft (chuuaku)  - things you said when we were the happiest we ever were prompt (chuuaku)  - things you said with no space between us prompt (skk)  - things you said while we were driving (skk)  - things you said after sex prompt (chuuaku) 

Oneshots: - let me help you, skk - Dazai notices Chuuya’s sleeping problems.  - Aftermath, skk - Dazai tells Chuuya about a mission gone wrong.  - are you home?, skk - Chuuya trusts Dazai to help him when he needs it, but not completely.  - the opposite of alone, skk - Chuuya can’t sleep, so he texts Dazai.  - Spiralling, skk - Chuuya always wondered if Corruption would tear him apart.  - hope that something good will happen next, skk - Dazai + Chuuya + talk in a cabin - Constancy, skk - the day Chuuya came home with a diagnosis, Dazai considered moving out. - tired, skk - Dazai hates Chuuya post-Corruption.  - Pick Up the Pieces series, skk - Chuuya gets tortured, he and Dazai decide to help each other. - lend me a shoulder, chuuaku - Dead Apple missing scene where Akutagawa helps Chuuya. - Perseverance, skk - figure skating au part 2, Olympics!  - Satisfaction, skk - figure skating au part 3, Worlds!  - Storm, skk - Dazai and Chuuya and one blanket in a snow storm.  - Yokohama: Unsolved, skk - Dazai and Chuuya are ghost hunters.  - Untraceable Children, skk - Psycho-Pass au, They meet after Chuuya kills an inspector.  - Spilled Ink, skk - parallel universes au feat. the stuff from Beast - Holding Pattern, skk - Never Let Me Go au (organ harvesting rip)  - isn’t life hard, kunichuu - Kunikida thinks Chuuya is a good man. Chuuya knows he isn’t.  - you’re safe here - Atsushi comes out to Dazai.  - Bad Patients, Yosano & Dazai - Yosano treats Dazai.  - At First Sight, skk - First mission fic!  - Fairy Lights, skk - Dazai realizes Chuuya has never celebrated a proper Christmas.  - for one man, sskk - SSKK in the aftermath of Dazia’s death. (Beast au)  - Everybody Lives, kunikidazai - Kunikida believes he can save everyone.  - to satisfaction, chuuya/ango - Ango wants to thank Chuuya.  - Birdsong - When Chuuya was younger, he sang to the moon. (Chuuya & Kyouka siblings) - Never Enough, chuuaku - Chuuya knows what Dazai does to Akutagawa, but he doesn’t know Akutagawa. 

Chapter Fics: - This Autumn Will End - Yosano wants to heal, but all she’s ever known is hurt.  - Fighters, chuuaku - Chuuya and Akutagawa’s developing relationship

Works-in-progress: 3 -Gifted - skk, experimental research facility au - only human, skk - Special Abilities Department Chuuya AU. After Dazai escapes the Port Mafia, Chuuya is sent by the government to gain his trust. 

This year I wrote and posted: 56 fics and 2 in-progress fics 

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? I never expect to write as much fic as I end up writing. 

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? Some of the gen-fics. 

What’s your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest? I have a lot of them actually but the ones that come to mind right now are the two later stories in the Revival series because figure skating is fun to write about. The first one was written in 2017 but I put a lot of work into the two that were written in 2018 and I hope to add to the series later. 

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? The Soukoku Trope Bingo fics and the ADA Week fics (like this one) were all territory I haven’t written for the most part (except the figure skating fic.) This Autumn Will End was also a risk because I’d never written Yosano in that much detail before. I got to know the new characters I was writing a bit more as well as the genres. I also learned that no one likes my kunikidazai LMAO but people are willing to give my lack of knowledge in some areas a pass. I also learned that I can write a lot of things I didn’t think I could. It’s just difficult. 

Your best story of this year: Aside from “only human,” Aftermath. It’s not a big au or even a long fic but I’m proud of it and I think it helped me write more fics this year in which Dazai and Chuuya’s relationship grows to become more trusting. 

Your most popular story of this year: only human, which isn’t surprising! It’s the fic I’ve written the most words for and its a multi-chap so people are exposed to it over and over again. 

Story of yours most under-appreciated by the universe, in your opinion: Everybody Lives. I think this is the one fic where I was nervous about what I was writing but felt tentatively proud of at the same time, but it didn’t get a response. I don’t know if it’s because it’s kunikidazai and not a lot of people are reading it, or if it’s because it’s bad kunikidazai. Either way, I still don’t know whether or not it deserves appreciation but I guess I can say it’s under appreciated. 

Most fun story to write: Yokohama: Unsolved. I mean...any story based on Buzzfeed Unsolved is gonna be a good time. 

Story with the single sexiest moment: adrenaline. Like I said last year, I’m a bad judge of this. This fic doesn’t have any sex in it at all, but listen that scene where Chuuya threatens Ango in Dead Apple...just...yeah. I would pay with my life too. So it’s kind of like that but with a gun.  

Most “Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: you know what? Even among the kink bingo fics I never got here. Compared to last year that’s kind of disappointing. 

Story that shifted your own perceptions of the characters: only human made me think about Dazai as a character more and made me realize that I like things about him. 

Hardest story to write: This Autumn Will End (which could also actually go into the category above for Yosano) because I had never written so much about Yosano’s character AND it was long AND it was an au and I didn’t know if people would like it. Also, Holding Pattern was a fic I had to write and erase and rewrite a lot of, more so than other fics. Also Never Enough was part of a rolling remix so figuring out how to remix the fic before it was a bit hard, but once I got an idea things flowed. 

Biggest disappointment: all of the top Chuuya kink bingo fics. Aside from that gunplay fic, I’m perfectly happy forgetting all of those things exist. 

Biggest surprise: Pick Up the Pieces series. Was meant to be a one-shot for whumptober, ended up being skk relationship development and I kind of still think about it and how it fits into other stories and how I’ve characterized Chuuya and Dazai in general. 

Most unintentionally telling story: Only You and Drowning 

Favorite opening line(s): -“I wonder how many times you’re gonna almost-die before someone gets fed up with your shit and lets you.” (Only You)  - “Ghosts don’t exist, but I’m not above using them to scare Chuuya.” - Dazai Osamu, interview, March 2018 (Yokohama: Unsolved) 

Favorite closing line(s): - “Why do I do it? To cope with depression................and it’s fun to see Chuuya get scared!” - Dazai Osamu, interview, June 2018 (Yokohama: Unsolved)  - “In a strange way, despite being a coward, Dazai had also been brave. Chuuya would be brave in his own way, too.” (Holding Pattern)

Favorite 5 line(s) from anywhere: - “No!” Chuuya took a shaky breath. “Of answering questions. Everyone always asks me questions, or tells me what to do, but no one talks to me and I’m tired of it because other people actually talk to each other and I keep seeing it and I want it, but you won’t give it to me.” (only human) - “I’ve never met someone who works so hard,” Dazai continued, “to be the person they want to be.” (Only You)  - “Hello?” Dazai called out. “Is anyone here? We’re a couple of not-scientists and we need someone to explain things to us.” (Yokohama: Unsolved) - “You act like someone who knows how to love.” (Never Enough)  - “He feels oddly detached from his body, the pain and Dazai’s hand around his wrist being the only things really grounding him, keeping him from thinking that maybe he’s just a shell and that Nakahara Chuuya doesn’t exist at all.” (At First Sight) - “Back then, a hand had reached out and freed him.Ever since, he’d had to do pretty much everything himself.” (Pick Up the Pieces, I can’t count LMAO) 

Top 5 scenes from anywhere you would choose to have illustrated from anywhere - Chuuya pointing the Dominator at Dazai in Untraceable Children.  - Chuuya destroying the tank in Pick Up the Pieces.  - Chuuya during or after his free program in Satisfaction.  - The ending scene of lend me a shoulder.  - Dazai and Chuuya with their hot chocolates in Fairy Lights.  - I’m sure there’s more but it’s hard to think. 

Fic-writing goals for next year: Finish only human and/or Gifted and write the mutli-chaptered Psycho-Pass au because I have it all outlined which is a first but I haven’t written it. Also write more skk figure skating fics! I also want to create a world/au that people will be interested in talking about but idk what that is yet because even though I love au’s I’m also not great at that sort of thing. 

#actual blog post #my fan fic #long post #skk #bsd

[gaarfielf]

k im gonna throw in my hot take on part 5 now i think the time has come where i’ve watched enough of the damn series i can make a coherent essay on whats what on what (putting it under a read more bc this shit is gonna be long and i dont want my followers to suffer too much)

I’ll do this character by character starting with the new ones

Ami: I’m having a hard time deciphering whether she’s being underutilized or over utilized because number 1) her character isn’t interesting enough to have her keep coming around, especially when her only connection to the group is Lupin. She hasn’t had any interaction with Goemon or Jigen that i know of and she hates Fujiko for ??? reasons. That being said, I would’ve preferred if she was fleshed out more because 2) literally having her be the distant girl that is quiet and doesn’t understand social norms is..... really boring. It’s almost as boring as having a female character whose only there as a set of boobs... (coughs). She isn’t interesting because they didn’t make her interesting, yeah? It’s hard to hate a character based on the fact alone they were clearly written by a man but I mean it very literally when I say she could’ve been something great. Having her confess her love to Lupin was straight up disgusting and I really expected more from tms in that vein. Putting romance where romance doesn’t need to be is bad enough let alone when you jack knife it in between a child and an adult. And for those of you saying ‘Oh hhhh she’s like nineteen’....look into your heart. Even if she is 1) she sure as hell doesn’t look it and 2) Lupin is like 40-50. In the wise words of me, children loving adults was a myth made up by pedophiles in support of the devil. Npot to mention pitting her against Fujiko because they both like Lupin?? I ain’t even gotta explain why that’s a pathetic excuse at writing. But I will. Fujiko is a grown ass woman so why the fuck would she care and Ami is a child who shouldn’t be in love with him anyway. She has truly been nothing in the series except a tool and even at that not a likable one.

Yata: Do I even have to say that I can’t write anything about a man who hasn’t had more than 4 minutes of screen time in the last 24 episodes? He was hyped up before the series started and he’s done nothing but be Zenigata’s personality in the place of Zenigata y’know. Actually speaking and having one for himself BUT WE’LL GET TO THAT LATER. He’s done nothing but yell and cry over literally nothing? Like he fights Zeni’s fights because for some reason Zenigata got super lazy this season (again, we’ll get into that later) and he’s just a pointless character.

Albert: Gay rep for life haha just kidding he was bad at that too. I think they literally introduced him as faux-gay rep because they know the fans wanted more sensitive interactions from their already existing male cast members and they were like ‘well that’s gay so we’ll give them this guy’. And speaking on behalf of myself - ‘I don’t want these’. So Albert shows up, supposedly having a HUGE connection to Lupin’s past and then............we never see him again. And they literally tell us nothing about him except he’s gay and works in the government. Apparently when we say ‘we want gay rep’ they hear ‘very minor gay character??’ and didn’t hear us say ‘no’ back. And every time I hear anyone say 1) ‘well, his connection to Lupin is supposed to be a mystery!’ I can feel hives growing on my skin because i’m allergic to bullshit like if they weren’t gonna tell us the connection, and whatever the connection is didn’t reveal anything new about the character outside of ‘Lupin knew somebody that wasn’t Jigen when he was younger’ then why?? mention it?? why make an entire arc dedicated to not telling us something if the end result was ‘it doesn’t matter who he is’? 2) ‘well they’re obviously cousins’ except they obviously aren’t. if they obviously were, they’d say that they were cousins. like if y’all are digging up bits of the manga from 40 years ago to say ‘there was a character who had the same last name’ but are also out here saying ‘Jigen doesnt have a sister bc they said that over 40 yers ago and haven’t mentioned it since’ then I ain’t got nothing to say to y’all, you’re just dodgy and ain’t worth the stress of talking to. 3) ‘they’re maybe gay’ well the cool thing about gay rep is that we don’t give honourary mentions out for series that were too cowardly to actually come right out and say it. So in conclusion, Albert was written by cowards who couldn’t decide what to do with him.

Enzo: Boring. That’s literally all I have to say. Trying to give him depth by making Ami his daughter was predictable and not at all interesting. To be honest I completely forgot she was looking for her dad anyway because she didn’t seem to care that much about finding him either (or seem to care about anythign really). He’s a shitty villain and every time he speaks I got my finger on the right-key because I don’t care what he has to say and so far I haven’t missed anything good so yeah. Just disappointing.

I think that’s it??? For new characters?? So I’ll move onto the main cast

Jigen: I 👏 WANT 👏 JIGEN 👏 TO 👏 DO 👏 SOMETHING like good fucking God the man hasn’t done anything this whole series up until 24 where he got  5 minute scene dedicated to him killin’ cops (direct action) but like?? As a character he hasn’t progressed he has BARELY spoken and we’ve learned one new thing about him the whole series in the episode where he meets the daughter of a woman he used to work with. And that one thing that we learned was: he used to work with the mother of this girl. That’s it. Episode 24 he got a little bit of dialog with Lupin that I guess was supposed to be like character development but it was so weird because it was kind of directed at the audience?? So it’s like is he talking to me or to Jigen because if I was Jigen I would not have one goddamn clue what he was talking about. Also, he’s so depressing this season?? Right up until now we’ve seen very little personality from him aside from Angry and Complains a Lot. He smiles sometimes sure but like he doesn’t exactly have a lot to smile about this season considering he’s not really in the limelight anymore and is only brought back to foreshadow how much he hates technology and wants to retire. Personally, Jigen is one of my favourite characters and the fact he hasn’t achieved much this series is a big let-down

Goemon: I can’t even imagine how let down Goemon fans feel because again, up until Episode 23 he did nothing. He had an episode where he fell in love?? With a girl?? Disguised as a woman?? For some reason?? It was in one of the throwbacks and I’ll admit that maybe the episode made sense and I probably missed something but to me I had no clue what was going on. ANYWAY like his big scene in the spotlight is 3 episodes before the end of the series (its not like he’s a main character or anything) and he cuts Lupin. Because he thinks that he isn’t really his friend. That’s it that’s the only reason he almost murders his friend. Just kidding the other reason was that it was a half ass attempt at shock value to make sure the audience was still paying attention. They can’t seem to decide this season whether they want Goemon to be edgy or stupid but I think we’ve gotten a greta big helping of both so thanks tms /sarcasm/. They’ve really just dragged his character through the mud this season because he used to be stoic, mysterious, traditionalist but lowkey clumsy guy and then now he’s. I don’t even know how to describe it he’s just become so cutesy and edgy at the same time so we get him cutting Lupin in half right in front of UwU i eat my fish skin first ! I’m quirky ! like what am I supposed to feel about this grown man? He’s really too back-and-forth for me this season

Fujiko: I’M GONNA GET HEATED ABOUT THIS ONE SO BUCKLE UP I’ve never seen Fujiko written this poorly since TWCFM (yes i’m outting that as a bad series too so don’t @ me about that lil tidbit). She’s there as a piece of eyecandy bUT SHE IS SO POORLY DRAWN IT MAKES ME WONDER IF ANYBODY AT TMS HAS EVER SEEN A WOMAN IN THEIR LIFE TIME. Seriously her proportions are so off and outwardly repulsive looking it makes it hard not to skip anything she says in the series on account of how half-ass her character looks. Not limiting herself to being visually repulsive, she also has a half-ass personality. Suddenly Fujiko isn’t the come-and-go as she pleases, mysterious woman that gives Lupin intel on very high security operations she’s just. There. At some point in the series she said ‘a woman’s body is just a tool to get something she needs’ and I wanted to puke this is NOT Fujiko’s character at all and I’m disgusted that they’re brushing her off as a pair of walking talking boobs. Also her absolute lack of empathy is just mind numbing because they’re somehow trying to convince the audience that Lupin broke her heart due to wedding related reasons that still haunt her but? Seeing him cut almost in half does nothing for her? And then she deadpan ‘This is just how it is’ like this is just putting her in such an evil light that I hate because I love Fujiko! In every other season she’s fighty and sarcastic and witty AND NOT JUST THERE FOR EYE CANDY. And going back to the wedding thing, why is this being made into such a big deal? There’s literal episodes in other seasons called ‘Fujiko Doesn’t Look Right in a Wedding Dress’ ‘Fujiko Doesn’t Want to Be Married’ ‘A Ring Is Like a Trap’ like she 👏 don’t 👏 want 👏 to 👏 be 👏 married 👏. And the preview for the next ep shows her in a wedding dress so I’m ultimately preparing myself for the big season finale being them getting married.

hurray.

Final thought on Fujiko being, the episode where she picks up Lupin to save him from succumbing to his crossbow wound (easily the funniest thing thats happened all season) I mean. Yeah it’s kinda cool. I don’t really have any strong feelings about that like I’m not about to praise them for something like that when it was immediately followed by her and Ami slap fighting over him again.

Lupin: In my days of watching Lupin movies/specials my slogan was ‘if the ratio of screen time in the movie between characters is 10:0 in Lupin’s favour then it ain’t a good movie’ and it’s ringing true to this season where it’s all about Lupin. I understand obviously it’s a series called Lupin III like I’m not stupid but the amount of ass kissing to his character is something else like they’re putting him on this huge pedestal like he’s a do-no-wrong kind of guy to the point where he’s boring because he’s done nothing wrong. Ever. He doesn’t argue with anybody he doesn’t have any strong emotions really (outside of that episode where Zenigata loses his memory we see him outwardly angry for a minute). It just makes him such a dry character when they try to mold him into being absolutely flawless and admirable. Also the amount of faking his own death and ‘oh no is he gonna die’ moments are just not entertaining. Like I said earlier when he got shot with the crossbow that was the hardest I’ve laughed in a long long time. It played like an SNL skit (you know what one). And again we aren’t learning anything new. Whose Albert to him!? We never got to know, What’s his relationship to Fujiko!? We’re probably gonna find out they’re getting married last episode after all the touching moments they had together this season like.... like uh.... when they uh... oh right they’ve barely spoken to each other all season. And when they did they were arguing. Love is in the air huh?

Zenigata: AI’ll try to keep this brief but Yata’s taken over his character this season. He’s barely spoken, he has like, NO energy or determination. After the episode where Lupin faked his death (the first time, not the proceeding 90 times) Zenigata just stopped appearing and stopped doing anything productive. If anything his character became an excuse for an info dump. Like oh we see a war torn area whats going on? Zenigata is conveniently nearby to say ‘these people are at war!’ and then outside character will tell a 18 paragraph history on him of whose at war and their history and then Zenigata says ‘okay’ and doesn’t appear again for the next 2 episodes.

Now for the closing thoughts I guess

i don’t know why they’re looking at Lupin having plot as separate from Lupin being episodic. Like they’ve separated him from adventure so he’s just doing the same things over and over again. Not to mention like I said earlier, the fans wanted to see more sensitive interactions between the already existing characters, and if anything, they’re farther apart and just really confusing and contradictory. It’s hard to get through an episode when every week its another ‘great time for another plot arc they’re never gonna finish’. When I watched episodes of Part 1 and 2 and 4 (not so much 3 because i can’t find anywhere to watch it lol) I’m pretty attentive all the way through because the series drops tidbits of information about the characters and they make the episode enjoyable to watch. This season is so dreary and dry I can’t find anything to enjoy about it because it’s just one disappointment after another. I’m trying to to sound bitchy as I type all this out but I mean I’m speaking as a fan who is just really disappointed. I know I’ve said ‘disappointed’ a lot in this whole thing but there isn’t another word to describe it because that’s really the way that I feel about part 5. Seeing my favourite characters on screen is supposed to make me feel happy and excited to see where they’re gonna go and what they’re gonna do not make me think “I hope they don’t ruin this character for me’ in every. single. episode. This season has been underwhelming, unenjoyable, inconsistent and just really exhausting to me overall.

i gotta go eat now so peace out and if you read to the end of all this then hopefully i’m not the only one in this boat but if you don’t agree with me then i guess thats just how it is yeah?

EDIT: I forgot to mention that the callbacks were cool at first but now I just find they’re baiting me into thinking i’ll enjoy the episode because i’ll find something I liked from one of the better seasons in it. They’re just really overused at this point because these callbacks aren’t being used for anything. like ‘lupin is making his plan at the cagliostro castle!’ like. why. ‘detective melon is also angry at lupin!’ but if she isn’t like teaming up with zenigata or actually doing anything to find him why should i care. 

#lupin iii #this aint fun so if you are feelin fighty dont read this