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thepradapariah · 2 days

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Astrology Observations

Twin Flames 😇😈, Karmics 🪐 & Soulmates 🕊

AUTHOR’S NOTES

Hello to all the Kosmic Baddies!! And welcome to all the new ones! I ADORE you all. All the positive comments and words of encouragement really make my soul warm and it means the world to me that you enjoy the content as much as I enjoy making it.

You all have given me the energy to write something else! And I appreciate it because I get so bored……………………………………

Thank y’all. Love y’all and I hope y’all enjoy this post. If you aren’t interested in my definitions, you can scroll down to the observations. I promise, I won’t take it personally :)

With Love & Lust,

A-D

INTRODUCTION

Unlike most of my other posts, this is a breakdown for how to read soulmate connections in a chart. Most of these observations are ones that me and my sister made just studying couples in pop culture and in our personal relationships. I thought it would be a fun post to write how I categorize these different kinds of relationships.

This post is probably my most subjective in awhile. These aren’t rules, per-say, but they are patterns I noticed when studying different relationships.

First, I will breakdown MY interpretations of what all these different titles mean, and then I will breakdown how they MAY appear in a chart. It is imperative to have the correct birth details for these observations to reign true. In Vedic Astrology, you don’t have to have a birth time because you can use these same calculations through the Moon chart. (Making the moon sign the ascendent. For instance, I am an Aquarius Sun and an Aries Moon, so my Moon chart starts with Aries. So my first house is in Aries, Second house in Taurus, third house in Gemini etc. My sister on the other hand is a Gemini Sun, Scorpio Moon, so her Moon Chart would be Scorpio in the first house, Sagittarius in the second house, Capricorn in the third house etc. Moon charts are a nifty thing to look at when doing astrological overlays, particularly if you don’t have an accurate birth time).

Again, just a friendly reminder that this is a PERSONAL OPINION piece. Now, for those of you who have been with me for my previous post, you know I’m not talking out my ass. So I can absolutely promise that I am giving you the most educated and thought out explanation that I can give at the moment. I am by no means the final say on ANY of this stuff, I am far from God and don’t want to be the judge or the jury…it is faaaarrr too much work. But please understand that there may be some things in this post you disagree with~ that is LOVELY, share your opinion with me in the comment section, I am more than happy to hear from you and listen to your insight!

But without further ado, let's break this down shall we?

DEFINITIONS

Karma:

Hinduism, Buddhism. action, seen as bringing upon oneself inevitable results, good or bad, either in this life or in a reincarnation: in Hinduism one of the means of reaching Brahman.: Compare bhakti (def. 1), jnana.

Theosophy. the cosmic principle according to which each person is rewarded or punished in one incarnation according to that person's deeds in the previous incarnation.

Soulmates:

Soulmates are just that– a mate for your soul. This is another soul, individual, or essentially another life force that you just “get”. Every relationship comes with its ups and downs and soulmates always seem to find one another no matter what. I find animals to be some of the BEST examples of soulmates out there. Isn’t it crazy how you can form a bond with another life force? I don’t find it to be a coincidence that animals and their hoomans can even look alike!

But enough with the furry friends, let's talk about hooman friends as well! Soulmates can also manifest as people (duh…)– whether super long lasting or a fleeting moment. Some friendships can prove to be some of the most profound soulmates in the course of a lifetime.

And of course…a soulmate can be a lover. We will discuss what can make a soulmate different from a twin flame further in the post. But yes, soulmates can absolutely manifest as boyfriends/girlfriends/theyfriends/husbands/wifes/partners etc. This is probably the most common and sought after kind of soulmate in mainstream culture, but I cannot express enough how soulmates can manifest in so many different ways. You know how Prince would rock out with that beautiful purple guitar? I consider that guitar to be a soulmate? After all, they shared a vibration and what is a man without his tools? As long as science says that everything is made up of tiny atoms, and each person, place, or thing contains its own vibration, we are bound to time and space by our soul’s connection. These types of connections help us move through the void of the darkness and chaos that is the universe, and we will be defined by the contracts of our souls through lifetimes and eons. (Smeeexxiiii, huh)

Twin Flames:

All twin flames are soulmates, but not all soulmates are twinflames. This is IMPERATIVE to understand when you are defining your connections for yourself. It seems to be trendy in mainstream culture to conflate the two, but these relationships have very distinct qualities and very different karmas (lessons). For the sake of starting on solid ground, let’s say that Twin Flames are like soulmates on steroids. Why? Because the contract level of Twin Flames can be an extremely heightened feeling and bring out the best and worst of ourselves so we can confront ourselves through a mirror like image, a reflection, if you will, so we can truly see ourselves through a 3rd eye perspective. Sounds like a lot of mumbo-jumbo, huh? Well, it kind of is. This may be a hot take, but it is an important one, NOT EVERYONE WILL EXPERIENCE A TWIN FLAME RELATIONSHIP IN THEIR LIFETIME. I repeat, NOT EVERYONE WILL EXPERIENCE A TWIN FLAME RELATIONSHIP IN THEIR LIFETIME. Why? Again, because this is HIGH level spiritual work that most souls just aren’t prepared to encounter. To be fair, just because it’s high level spiritual work does not equate to it being “high vibrational”. Most Twin Flame journeys deal with lower vibrations in order to raise them. So don’t confuse the work with the payoff. Twin Flames catapult one’s soul to the next dimension when it comes to spiritual growth and learning. One of the most popular modern examples of a Twin Flame relationship is…drum roll, please…Twilight (Spoiler Alert!). Bella started out as an innocent, run-of-the-mill suburban average teenage boring, blah blah blah, nothing-special kind of girl, with perhaps a proclivity towards darkness, who got entangled with a 300 year old vampire (or however old….), went on to experience the highs and very very very lows of a relationship, flirted with death, lost him, got him again, was deflowered, got pregnant, damn near lost her life trying to give birth and ultimately had to be “killed”/ “turned” by Edward– literally (or figuratively because it’s in a book…) “dying” to be born again and made anew. Essentially growing from an innocent virginal girl, to a very powerful woman & mother. Meanwhile, Jacob, who I would argue is simply a soulmate (see the difference…he was obviously the “safer” choice, but would not have sparked that dramatic of a shift in her soul) just watches from the sidelines. It’s just worth noting how traumatic that entire 4-book series and 5-part movie is from Bella’s perspective, but also from Edward’s. His darkness engulfed her willingly, like Hades to Perspephone. He wasn’t really a willing participant– until he unleashed all his passions and desires onto her. She reflected back to him a purer version of himself that was lost to the past and to his “vampirism”, while she was drawn to him to take her out of the mundane expectations of suburban living. Both parties were made to sacrifice a sacred part of themselves in order to embrace one another, but ultimately to embrace their truest form. For Bella, it was her becoming a mind-bending vampire…a FAR cry from the less than average suburban girl she started as. And for Edward, it was to bring love and happiness back into his life. He had to let go of his “I’m a monster” perspective of himself and see that although he is a lust driven, blood sucking, overly wealthy, perpetual teenager…he is…in fact, worthy of love. Awwww…now isn’t that just…romantic? To the teenage version of me…yes. To the adult version of me who has bills to pay…not so much. However, the story is a powerful one because it clearly illustrates the drama, the passion, the highs, the lows, the love, the lust, the hate, the envy in a spiritual twin flame connection.

(Tangent, but the word envy made me realize another key difference in the twin flame journey versus the soulmate or karmic journey…Envy plays a major part in twin flame relationships. There is something that you feel your twin has, that you feel like you don’t. Going back to our Twilight example, Bella envied Edward for his mystique, and his seemingly other worldly experiences. She envied his relationship to his own darkness. She found him interesting, to say the least. He was a masterful artist, a great pianist, wicked smart, and a selfless individual. Bella, at best, was a mid-level high school student. She didn’t have any talent, any hobbies, any desires. She was very boring and humdrum. She envied him for being so ridiculously complex. She was essentially a blackhole, wanting to be filled by him– sexually, physically, mentally, etc…She wanted nothing more than to dissolve into his world, inheriting his self-hatred and his life issues (like the Volutrie)...she envied his essence. On the other hand, Edward was envious of her purity. He found deep comfort in her lack-lusterness. She was beyond ordinary. So ordinary, in fact, she became extraordinary to him. To see a virginal young woman, full of life, and promise, brought him great desire. A desire he fought for like 3 books/movies. Edward, was by far, the “runner” in this scenario because he absolutely felt that his presence in Bella’s life would destroy her. And for what it’s worth, he was absolutely correct. He demolished her from the inside out– taking her virginity to ultimately making her a mother, an evolutionary act within itself. The triumph of the virgin to the whore pipeline (lol, no pun intended, but pun definitely accepted). Tangent over lol)

BUT what makes them a twin flame specific quality is the fact that you realize, you are actually the same. Edward was equally as dark as he was pure and same for Bella. There was no need to envy one another because they were both capable of all states of being. Edward and Bella are a good and bad example of twin flames, because they are the rare twin flames that stay together. So it’s beautiful they were able to find a middle ground and create a child and merge families–blah blah blah…but, that is pretty uncommon. MOST, not all, but MOST twins do not end up with a happily ever after. They usually are unable to reconcile their souls' differences. These relationships are usually to prepare one another for a high vibrational soulmate.

Karmic Soulmates:

Karmic Soulmates, are souls that have past-life unfinished business OR are meant to inspire a lesson that may or may not be resolved in this life in general. Karma/Karmic is a neutral term, so this type of relationship doesn’t have to be inherently good or inherently bad. It is a relationship that brings forth lessons so the soul can carry out the rest of its karmic mission. These relationships can play out in a romantic way, but they tend to be more on the platonic side. You can be in a Karmic relationship with your mother, brother, sister, teacher, etc. as well as a place! You can have a significant bond with a city, country, place and time. Anything that promotes the soul’s growth through support, challenges and forces you to learn, is a karmic contract/soulmate.

You are certainly meant to learn. But because of Karma being ruled by the planet Saturn, these relationships can go on for a long time, can be extremely difficult and will keep pressisting until the lesson is learned and the karma is fulfilled.

Karmics tend to have a negative connotation, particularly in the youtube tarot world, but it genuinely doesn’t have to be. In fact, I argue that all significant relationships are inherently karmic– be it clearing up Karma from a past-life, or creating new karma for the next.

Always remember, the universe is neutral. Lessons are neutral. Love/Hate is…neutral. We need not judge the nature of any relationship, including our own, if it means to help enlighten, enrich and grow our souls. We are social creatures and we don’t learn lessons about ourselves in a vacuum. Different souls, people, places, and things can trigger our growth in ways that we are incapable of imagining beforehand.

I say all that to say, as one of my favorite quotes from a family friend who passed away years ago said, “some things, you just don’t need to experience”. There will be times in life where you touch the fire and need to feel it to get burned…other times, you will know what that burning feels like and will turn away. This is the perfect system of Karma. Sometimes you will get burned, whether you “asked for it” or not, and other times, you will know that there is no need to even play with the fire to begin with.

So take everything in life with a grain of salt and a shot of whiskey! Life is supposed to be fun…even the not so fun parts! Live, laugh, love, lust & learn! Enjoy the moment.

(This is a great example of a non romantic karmic, he wrote this song for his grandmother who passed & it catapulted him to another dimension career wise)

OBSERVATIONS

Observation 1

Do not underestimate the power of Chinese Astrology

Hear. Me. Out. I haven’t found a more accurate astrology for relationships than Chinese astrology. Crazy, I know. But Chinese Astrology is extremely straightforward. Screw the birth times, you just need a month and year and you’ve got all you need. I always joke that I exclusively date through Chinese Astrology, but I am seriously only half kidding (lol). I kid you not, whenever I study my relationships through this particular astrological lens, I am genuinely AWE STRUCK with how uncannily accurate it is. Try it! Next time you find yourself dating, or even checking the compatibility with your current mate, read a few articles and see how it lines up for you. I’m sure you’ll be pleasantly surprised. I manifest partners through their Chinese zodiac because I am so passionate about it! It hasn’t let me down yet!

***Note: I don’t have this as an official observation because it’s not astrologically based, but look into numerology as well when studying compatibility! It is VERY insightful.

Observation 2

Usually Twin Flames/Soulmates have Gemini placements somewhere in their personal planets or ascendent

So this take may not sit well with everyone, because you may feel limited in the types of soulmates you can encounter if you don’t have any Gemini placements. Fret not, keep reading, you may fit in another category.

I am not saying that this is the LAW, I am saying this simply is something I have noticed when studying what I consider twin flame relationships. In most Twin Flame/Soulmate relationships, the Zodiac sign of the twin is usually present for BOTH individuals/souls. The psychic nature of Gemini makes it very easy to just “get” someone, and feel as if you’ve known them for years. Have you ever heard two Geminis talk to one another? It can be hard to keep up with them!

Soooooo…..I feel the same to be true when it comes to these kinds of intense relationships.

It is also worth noting that Gemini is ruled by Mercury. Mercury/Hermes in Greek Mythology is the only God that can travel between Mt. Olympus (Heaven, so to speak) and The Underworld (Hell, if you will). I think this is important because it demonstrates why Gemini placements in particular can experience a love of such depth. It can go into the pits of hell and to the glories of heaven with ease, making it one of the most valuable placements for a twin flame relationship.

Another note is, in traditional tarot, The Lovers card is depicted by the twins. I feel this is a significant indicator of a deep soulmate connection because of the telepathy and how intertwined lovers/gemini energy can be. The inherent closeness of these soulmates is intrinsic to closeness that is required for any level soulmate/twinflame. Nonverbal communication can play a major role in these types of connections. As chatty as Geminis can be, it’s what they don’t say that ACTUALLY matters. Only another Gemini person would understand that.

Now, Virgo is also ruled by Mercury, but Venus is in detriment in the sign of Virgo. I don’t think Virgo fits this description as well, because Virgo is inherently about solitude, represented by The Hermit in traditional tarot, making it more about virginity/purity than about a 3D twin flame physical connection. To be honest, I just haven’t witnessed it as much when dissecting charts, but I will study it more and perhaps my opinion will change. But as of right now, I don’t believe Virgo placements depict as strong of a connection as Gemini in this case. Feel free to prove me wrong! I’m always open.

Back to Geminis…It seems so weird that Gemini energy would be the ones who attract such intense relationships because they seem so, unloving…but one of my favorite Gemini on Gemini relationships is Courtney Love (Gemini Sun & Moon) and Kurt Cobain (Gemini Moon). Ooof. OOOF. But it was like they had their own language and lived in their own world. Now, that relationship ended up in tragedy…but hey…they had some “fun” moments. They were so similar and too similar at the same time, that it fueled an outwardly bizarre connection, but to them it made perfect sense. This is the power that a double gemini connection can have. Minus to tragedy part.

Observation 3

Twin Flames almost always have the SAME zodiac placements or DIRECT OPPOSITE zodiac placements.

This rule, without fail, is one of the most important and powerful observations that I have come across. If you are checking the zodiac for twin flame compatibility, I will almost say YOU MUST have the same or opposite placements in the big three (rising, sun, moon) and/or Venus and Mars.

This can be ANY SIGN in ANY HOUSE.

For example: You have Sun in Scorpio, Moon in Cancer, Rising in Sagittarius…Your twin could have Sun in Virgo, Moon in Taurus, Rising in Aries. Because the Sun and Moon are in opposite signs, you could experience a twin flame relationship.

Another example: You have Sun in Gemini, Moon in Aquarius, Rising in Pisces…Your twin could have Sun in Libra, Moon in Leo, Rising in Aquarius. Because the Moon and Rising are in the same sign, you could experience a twin flame relationship.

You can mix and match, as long as something mixes and other things matches (lol). I’ve seen so many charts of couples that share placements or have opposite placements and immediately I go “uh! Twin Flame!”.

I think this is due to the illicit push and pull nature/mirroring nature of Twin Flame relationships.

This is where “real” science comes in. All energy has an action and a reaction to create equilibrium. This is why this particular observation is so important. As I’ve stated from the beginning, when it comes to Twin Flame relationships, they are meant to teach, expand, challenge and heal, so it makes sense that you would be met with the opposite force and attract one another OR the same force and repel one another. (Let’s talk physics…think magnets…two positives and two negatives repel, but a negative and a positive attract…woot woot! Call me Bill Nye biiisshhhessss) The entire effect is to make your soul ebb and flow so it can reach a state of neutrality. You want someone to challenge your opinions and your sense of self so you can know what/ who you are. If you’ve never had a mirror, how do you know what you look like? Again, the same is true when someone is so similar to you. You may look at them and go “wow, is this how I come off?”. Just to reemphasis, I don’t want this to come across as an inherently negative thing, it doesn’t have to be. It just usually requires a highly developed spiritual understanding to see that. This particular alignment can give the “can’t live with em, can’t live without em” feeling.

If you have complementary placements, like your Sun is in Capricorn and your partner has their Moon in Taurus, this may be more of an indication of a soulmate connection. The same can be true if you are both air/air or air/fire or water/water or water/earth.

Now, another way you can see it is if you have opposing elements. But, I don’t think it reads as strong as actual zodiac signs.

Just to be clear, all my examples thus far have been using Sun, Moon and Rising, but this trick can extend to Mars and Venus. So let’s say you have Venus in Cancer and your partner has Mars in Capricorn…it counts!

Observation 4

For long-term compatibility, your partner’s Venus will be the same as one of your placements in your big three or your venus– ESPECIALLY WOMAN in Heteronormative connections or Males in same-sex relationships.

Trigger warning for those who are sensitive about pronouns…please use your imagination. I am talking about ANCIENT astrology, so it is rooted in traditional gender norms. You may disagree, that is fine, no judgment, but for the sake of this observation, you can bear with me…or ignore it. The choice is yours!

Now, I am talking about a man’s Venus placement here. In traditional astrology, Venus indicates the man’s wife. So if your “man” has Venus in Pisces, you may have Pisces Sun, Moon, Rising OR Venus/any other water placements. This would make you complementary. In fact, I would say if his Venus placement aligns with your chart, other placements in the chart won’t matter as much.

For example, You are a Gemini Sun, Libra Moon, Aquarius Rising. If your partner is a Pisces Sun, Cancer Moon, Scorpio Rising, BUT their Venus is in Gemini, Aquarius, or Libra…you’re in luck! From the big three, it may seem as if you are completely incompatible, but low and behold, your partner loves what you are putting down, so the “differences” may not be so different after all.

Venus is EXTREMELY important to long-term relationships. So is the 7th house. I won’t go down that rabbit hole for this particular post, but keep that in the back of your mind.

These connections may not be as intense as Twin Flame, but this is certainly a great indication for a wonderful connection. Let me say, like I said in the beginning, not every soul needs to experience a twin flame connection for its evolution. If you are wanting something more grounded, then follow this rule of thumb when checking initial compatibility with a partner.

BONUS: If your person’s Venus falls in your first house, this is a great indication of producing love at first sight! Now…other placements matter, obviously, but this is an extremely powerful indication of strong, immediate, attraction.

Side Note: For Women, you would look at your Jupiter placement for compatibility with your “husband”! I find that you can also use this rule for Mars when it comes to “boyfriends” as well.

Observation 5

Synastry and Overlays Matter!!!!!!!

Definitions:

Synastry- When comparing two natal charts, this calculates the planetary alignment between two individuals.

Examples- Mars conjunct Venus or Sun trine Saturn

Overlay- When comparing two natal charts, this calculates how a person’s planets fall into another person’s house system.

Examples- Person A’s Jupiter is in Person B’s 8th House. Or Person A Venus sits in Person B’s First House.

(if these are new concepts to you, I HIGHLY suggest you do some research. Tumblr has some wonderful posts dedicated to these practices that are highly informative. I would love to do posts concerning synastry and overlays in the future!)

Okay, this may be the MOST important observation, but it is more advanced than Sun/Moon/Rising/Venus compatibility. This requires you to have knowledge of the WHOLE HOUSE system (sorry, western astrology) and deep comprehension of planets, conjunctions, oppositions, trines, squares and aaaaallll that good stuff.

My sister and I LOVE synastry and overlays. It really puts entire relationships into context to see how your chart lines up and what underlying energies you’re dealing with, regardless of the actual placements. How the planets react to one another and how those planets show up in your chart is MUY IMPORTANTE! Chances are, if you’ve read these other rules and they haven’t resonated with you, I guarantee, you’ve had a relationship that is based more on planetary alignment than zodiac compatibility.

(Just to be clear…this is why I started off with Chinese astrology…Chinese astrology is INSANELY accurate and doesn’t require nearly as much study as what I am saying here. DO NOT underestimate the power of Chinese astrology when it comes to compatibility. I love how accurate it is with very little information.)

With this rule, you don’t need birth times, but my goodness do they make an impact when doing overlays. If you don’t have accurate birth times, always remember you can do it off the moon chart, which essentially makes the moon the ascendent sign. Just know, for an accurate overlay, you will need to use the moon sign for BOTH charts. It will not be as accurate if you use your birth chart with an accurate birth time and overlay to their moon sign. It isn’t “wrong” per say, it just isn’t nearly as precise. You want to use the same charts. Moon charts overlay one another and natal charts overlay one another. If you have both birth times, then do both! Go wild! The more the merrier!

Now, I am not going to go in depth about what these two practices mean, because that’s an entire post within itself and I wanted to keep this one “short and sweet”. But I will say, for a rule of thumb, if you have strong trines, oppositions, and conjunctions with a person, that is an indicator of a twin flame, soulmate, and karmic connection. If you have Saturn, Pluto, Venus, Neptune and Mars with low orbs, this can indicate a soul contract/intense connection. If yours or their placements sit in your 1st/7th/8th/12th house, this can be a VERY strong indication of a powerful & spiritual connection. There are plenty of ways this can be mixed and matched. The relationship between two charts is so important, they are a study within themselves. I am only scratching the surface here, so if you are a novice, again, I cannot express enough how exciting it is to do some digging when it comes to this stuff in relationships.

There are plenty of free synastry calculators online, so please use them as a resource– even if you don’t understand the calculations, it is important to see the results. These placements can truly unlock a much deeper understanding of your relationships that you just won’t get when it comes to looking solely at your charts at face value!

Let me know if you’d like me to discuss these topics further moving forward! You know I love to spread the knowledge, and there is just something so sexy about synastry and overlays…it’s honestly one of my favorite parts about Vedic astrology!

Bonus: North Node/Rahu and South Node/Ketu can play a VITAL role when determining what kind of karmic relationship you are in.

POP QUIZ

Just kidding, there is no test, because I’m too lazy to grade anything, BUT here is an example of what I’m talking about when combining the previous observations. I am not doing a super deep dive, but I want you to see how everything overlaps and intersects.

Let’s use Rihanna and ASAP Rocky as an example. Their connection hits on a few different cylinders. Rihanna is an Aquarius Sun and ASAP Rocky has his Venus in Leo. Why does this matter? Although Rihanna is an opposite, so Sun opposition Venus, which is twin flame-y, she is a FAMOUS, CREATIVE, ENTERTAINER and MUSE…this is ALL dealing of the 5th House/Leo energy, so it make sense…for now…as to why he would be attracted to her. She has No Leo placements in her big three, but because it’s the opposite, we go to that push-pull magnet thing I was talking about earlier. As far as how their relationship will play out long-term, I have ZERO idea, but I can say their attraction to one another is very real, but it will probably be volatile at times because of the Sun Venus Opposition. I’m sure her ego will cause difficulties to his love language, BUT he may be able to take it, because his Venus is ruled by the Sun. See how layered and complex it can be? And we are just looking at one placement. They work because he enjoys the attention that she brings (not in a vampire way, just in a “wow, isn’t my lady so cool” kind of way) and he allows her to shine without dimming her light, while she enjoys the fawning that he gives her. He loves that his partner is larger than life and Rihanna is larger than life because…well…she’s Rihanna. She is able to appreciate him, because at this point in time, he doens’t in any way seem like he is trying to compete with her. He is a confident person who can stand beside and behind such a force, BECAUSE he has such a strong Venus placement.***

Relationships aren’t black and white. These are just observations and rules/patterns that I have found to be true. But as you’ll see, as I have presented, some things will contradict, some things won't make sense, what makes sense for one chart doesn’t make sense for another. Etc… This is such a fun topic because it really is like a puzzle. And it really is a case by case basis. The more in depth you can look at a chart, the more knowledge you can walk away with.

FINAL THOUGHTS/MINI RANT

Oof….okay, what a ride! (Can you believe I had the intention of this being a short post. HA!) I hope that you were able to take something away from this post and learn something new! As you can see…there is a very intricate science behind how soulmates/karmics and twin flames work. It is so much deeper than saying “oh wow, that’s my twin flame”...like…maybe? I feel mainstream spirituality/astrology/tarot has taken that phrase and run with it. And saying “if you identify as twin flames then you are” is misleading. It really isn’t something you “identify” with. They either are or are not your twin flame. There isn’t an in between. It is not ambiguous and it can be fact checked. Also, twin flame makes it seem like you can only have one…I don’t think that’s the case. I think you meet as many “twins”/mirrors/soulmates/karmics as you need until your soul learns the lesson. Have you ever felt like you just keep meeting the same person over and over and over again? That’s because we are talking about soul recognition and not necessarily 3D body recognition.

You may be attracting different “people”, but you could be attracting the same “spirit”. So don’t always get so hung up on a particular person. TRUST ME BABES, if there is unfinished business, that same energy will come back around over and over and over and over again until you geeeetttt ittttt.

Another note is, if you’re like me, and you have exalted Venus in Pisces conjunct Ketu…then every relationship feels twin-flame-y. Why? Because I have my relationship planet tightly conjunct my south node, so I am on a spiritual journey on my own when it comes to relationships…my twin flame is most likely…Jesus Christ…sooooooo……yeah. (I kid, I kid, but not really. My placement can indicate being a nun…and trust me, after dealing with the crap I’ve had to put up with when it comes to these men folks, I have absolutely considered giving my body to God…cuz these men just don’t do right…lol…anyways…) Men and relationships have become my life’s work…which is why I am here sharing this information with you today. Each relationship is very nuanced but all have similar themes.

I am very much into tarot and astrology and all the things, but I do feel like there is a fad going around about this twin flame business. And as much as I enjoy a tarot reading popping up on my tiktok talking about my “twin”, I am always acutely aware that it can be a mislabeling and inspire people to put up with all kinds of crap for the sake of the label. If you’re going to be in a shxtty relationship, then be in a shxtty relationship, but don’t misuse the word. Twin Flame does not automatically translate to terrible, explosive, runner-chaser relationships and it does not excuse poor behavior. There is a difference between someone who is making mistakes because they are trying to learn and someone who is taking advantage of someone who won’t stand up for themselves. Sometimes, someone you like, just doesn't like you and your ego in tandem with your fear of rejection/abandonment is preventing you from actually growing and pursuing a relationship that would benefit and promote your soul’s growth. It’s almost like getting stuck on level one of a video game. Until you beat that internal need for validation from one specific person/soul…you’ll never get to play the next part of the game. Now…this isn’t me saying that soulmate/twin flame/karmic relationships don’t have their downsides, but I am saying, at least know the kind of energies you’re dealing with before you go putting pressure on a presumably less evolved/knowledgeable individual expecting them to “challenge your soul” and you haven’t even challenged yourself. This whole twin flame ordeal is like handing a toddler some markers and leaving them alone in a room full of white walls– it is bound to get messy. Soulmates are a BEAUTIFUL thing. And very rarely, I mean VERY rarely can a twin flame move into a more relaxed “soulmate” relationship. It is not impossible, but the amount of effort that is required to transcend, is unbelievable. BOTH PARTIES have to be spiritually mature and aware to do the work. This connection is NOT one sided…BOTH individuals are required to learn, grow and HEAL. Mind you, healing is the main reason for these kinds of relationships. There is no way to heal when your relationships keep pouring salt into an open wound. People can get caught up with and hang on to people for far too long because of a mislabeling. It is equivalent to a misdiagnosis from a medical doctor. Sure, you may have a cold, but if they misdiagnose you with a broken leg…are you receiving the right treatment? NO! And now you won’t heal properly! TO BE CLEAR…I believe in fate– so if you meet someone and you have an extraordinarily intense connection, you probably fit one or more of these rules and THAT IS why I am making this post. I want you to do the research for your own sanity so you can express FREE-WILL in whether you want to walk down that path or not with a certain individual– while also knowing the other person has free-will too. No label, or synastry, or overlay, or Chinese compatibility will change the fact that you may be fated to meet someone, but free-will may take you down different paths.

On another, equally important note…It is also possible to end up and stay with the wrong person. It is! You may look at a chart and follow some of these patterns and realize, you have NO BUSINESS with that individual. But people end up with the wrong people all the time. People have wasted LIFETIMES with someone they had no business with. But their ego decided they were a “soulmate” or a “twin flame” or they aren’t “healed”/spiritually awaken enough to realize they can do better…and low and behold…they were wrong and they wasted precious time. Now they’re miserable, can’t figure out why, and they end walking straight past a real soulmate in a supermarket…unable to even recognize them because they are so bogged down and clouded in their unhealed ego and a bad relationship that has cut them so far off from their own divinity, they can’t recognize love if it smacked them in the face. DON’T LET THAT BE YOU!

THERE ARE LEVELS TO RELATIONSHIPS!!!!!!!!! Not every soulmate will be as intense as the next. Not every boyfriend/girlfriend will be as compatible as the last. Love is a game of musical chairs. There is movement, there is stillness, seats get taken away, and eventually, there is a winner. And babe, it will ALWAYS be you. You will always be the last one standing when it comes to relationships because you have free-will. (Let’s not forget the importance of the 1st House/7th House axis. You vs Relationships. It is as equally you as it is them.) You are bound by nothing. You are bound to no one. You are love. You are light. If you do the work, you may find a wonderful, loving, long-lasting relationship full of romance, but this is not guaranteed. You AND your partner have to choose each other every single day. The best relationships require discipline, work, forgiveness, “God”/some higher power, and love– no matter who you cross paths with in this life…you have to do this for yourself first and foremost. Alas, if you are too caught up in people who won’t meet you in the 3D, let alone the 5D…you will always fall flat of what you are looking for. The chair will always be ripped from under you when the music stops. Always. All of this is irrelevant if it doesn’t come from within. And this is why I want to express it one last time…NOT EVERYONE WILL EXPERIENCE A TWIN FLAME CONNECTION. You don’t understand how much you have to overcome rejection, overcome fear, overcome lust, desire, ego ALL the things, to open yourself up enough to join forces with another soul and try to tackle life together. Your ultimate lover is not your savior– they are your equal. You have to save yourself. You are not your ultimate lover’s savior. THEY have to save themselves. You ain’t super(wo)man and they aren’t either. Your partner has to be willing to do the same work…THAT’S what makes them a twin. It is not because they are treating you like shxt, babes…

Learn the lessons. Do the work. Love every bit of the journey…especially the crappy parts, because THAT’S what will make it all worth it in the end and you’ll enjoy the beautiful parts as much as the Greek Gods enjoy sweet nectar and ambrosia.

Why is this important to differentiate? Why now?

Now, one thing is for sure…and two things for certain, I am psychic and I have seen in my crystal ball that there is heavy energy of union in the atmosphere. I am hoping that whoever stumbles upon this post, is on the path of self-discovery which ultimately leads to liberation because not all union is good union. (I think covid brought in a lot of bad unions for example…but that is another topic for another day). The days are getting darker, and the evil forces are getting stronger (am I being dramatic enough for ya?) so it is important to know exactly what we are all up against. Only few are chosen to be in relationships that are led by light. There is so much overwhelming darkness now and I don’t want anyone that I am influencing to fall into the trap. There is potential for WONDERFUL, POWERFUL, SEXY, LOVING, LONG-LASTING & HIGHLY SPIRITUAL unions right now. But you may be tempted by something that seems beautiful and it is nothing of the sort. So please, do your research. Love with all your heart. Let spirit lead you! Let love find you, there is no need to seek it out! Take calculated risk! Open up your heart chakra! But ultimately, always be mindful of the wolves in sheep's clothing.

Ciao ✌🏾

#astrology #astro notes #vedic astrology #astrology observations #sidereal astrology #astro community #astrology notes #astro observations #tarot #Spotify

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imthebadguyyy · 3 days

Text

loml

pairing : james potter x reader

fandom : marauders

series : the tortured poets department

synopsis : james is the love and loss of your life.

a/n : hope you enjoy!!

who's gonna stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames?...

seventh year

The Great Hall was buzzing with the usual lunchtime chatter. Students from all four houses mingled, their laughter and conversation filling the vast space. Plates clattered, and goblets clinked, but you barely noticed. Your eyes were fixed on a spot in the middle of the table, your thoughts miles away.

You could still remember the first time James had pulled you out into the rain.

fifth year

It had been a warm spring evening, the sky darkening with ominous clouds. You were supposed to be studying for a Potions exam, but James had other plans. With that mischievous glint in his hazel eyes, he had taken your hand and led you outside.

"What are we doing, James?" you had asked, half-laughing, half-exasperated.

"Dancing," he had replied simply, and with a dramatic bow, he had pulled you into a waltz right there on the soggy grass. The rain had poured down, drenching you both, but you hadn’t cared. You had twirled and laughed, your wet hair plastered to your face, his glasses fogging up. It had been pure, unfiltered joy.

“Y/N? Hey, Y/N!” Marlene’s voice snapped you out of your reverie. You blinked and looked around, suddenly aware of your surroundings again. The Great Hall, the noise, the chatter – it all came rushing back.

“Huh? What?” you said, shaking your head slightly as if to clear it.

“You were miles away,” Marlene said, her brow furrowed in concern. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, just…thinking,” you replied, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes.

Marlene studied you for a moment, then glanced over her shoulder. “Thinking about James?” she asked quietly.

You didn’t respond, but your silence spoke volumes. Marlene sighed and scooted closer to you, lowering her voice. “Y/N, you know it’s okay to still have feelings for him, right?”

“I don’t…” you started, but Marlene cut you off with a knowing look.

“Don’t lie to me. I’ve seen the way you look at him. And I saw how he looked at you when he walked in just now.”

Your heart skipped a beat, and you couldn’t help but glance over to where the Marauders were sitting. James was laughing at something Sirius had said, his head thrown back in pure amusement. For a moment, your heart ached with the memory of his laughter mingling with the sound of rain.

“Whose gonna stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames?” Marlene said softly, echoing the words you had once whispered to her in confidence.

You swallowed hard, feeling a lump form in your throat. “It’s not that simple, Marlene. Things are different now.”

“Different how? You’re both still the same people. And I’ve seen the way he looks at you – like he’s lost without you.”

You shook your head. “We’ve both moved on. He’s with Lily now.”

“Are you sure about that?” Marlene asked gently. “Because from where I’m sitting, it looks like he’s just as lost as you are.”

You looked at James again, your heart aching. Could it be true? Could there still be a chance for the two of you? The memory of dancing in the rain was still vivid, a symbol of the love you had once shared. Maybe Marlene was right. Maybe it wasn’t too late to find your way back to each other.

Marlene squeezed your hand, giving you a small, encouraging smile. “Talk to him, Y/N. You owe it to yourself to find out.”

You nodded slowly, determination building within you. It was time to stop daydreaming and start living. Maybe, just maybe, there was still a chance to dance with James in the rain once more.

if you know it in one glance, it's legendary...

first year

James Potter stood on Platform 9 ¾, his eyes scanning the bustling crowd of students and parents. It was his first year at Hogwarts, and excitement coursed through his veins. He had already met Sirius Black, a boy with an equally mischievous glint in his eye, and they had quickly become fast friends. But as he looked around, his attention was suddenly captured by a girl standing a few feet away, saying goodbye to her parents.

She had an air of quiet confidence, her hair catching the sunlight in a way that made it seem to glow. She laughed at something her mother said, the sound clear and bright amidst the chaos of the platform. James couldn’t look away.

“If you know it in one glance, it’s legendary,” his father had once told him, speaking of love and destiny. James had scoffed at the time, but now he wondered if his father had been right. He didn’t even know her name, but he felt a pull towards her, something deep and inexplicable.

He was still staring when Sirius elbowed him in the ribs. “Oi, James, what’s got you so spellbound?”

James blinked, tearing his gaze away from the girl. “Nothing, just…looking around.”

Sirius followed his line of sight and smirked. “Ah, I see. Got your eye on someone already, eh?”

James felt his cheeks heat up. “Shut up, Sirius.”

The whistle of the train interrupted their banter, and students began boarding. James watched as the girl hugged her parents one last time before picking up her trunk and heading towards the train. On an impulse, he moved closer, wanting to catch her name.

“Do you need help with that?” he asked, stepping up and offering a hand.

She looked up at him, her eyes meeting his, and for a moment, James felt the world narrow down to just the two of them. “Thanks,” she said with a smile that made his heart race. “I’m Y/N.”

“James,” he replied, struggling to keep his voice steady. “James Potter.”

“Nice to meet you, James Potter,” she said, her smile widening. And just like that, she was gone, disappearing into the crowd of students boarding the train.

James stood there for a moment, staring after her, before Sirius dragged him onto the train.

Years later, James sat in the Gryffindor common room, the fire crackling softly in the hearth. Lily Evans sat beside him, her head resting on his shoulder as they talked quietly. He loved Lily – he knew that. She was brilliant, brave, and kind, everything he admired in a person. But sometimes, he found his thoughts drifting back to that moment on the platform, to the girl with the glowing hair and the infectious laugh.

“If you know it in one glance, it’s legendary,” his father’s words echoed in his mind, and he felt a pang of doubt.

“What’s on your mind, James?” Lily asked, sensing his distraction.

He looked at her, guilt washing over him. “Just thinking about old times,” he said, forcing a smile.

Lily reached up to touch his face gently. “You’re always thinking, aren’t you?”

James chuckled softly. “Yeah, I suppose I am.”

As Lily continued to talk, James tried to push the memories away. He had chosen Lily, and he loved her. But deep down, he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was a part of him that would always be tied to that moment on the platform, to Y/N, and the way she had made him feel with just one glance.

in your suit and tie, in the nick of time...

Fifth Year

The Great Hall was buzzing with the usual Friday evening chatter, but tonight, there was a different kind of excitement in the air. James Potter, notorious for his messy hair and casual demeanor, stood nervously by the Gryffindor common room entrance, dressed in a sharp suit and tie. His friends, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, were nearby, watching with amusement as James fidgeted with his cuffs.

"You look great, Prongs," Remus said with a reassuring smile. "Relax, she's going to love it."

James adjusted his tie one more time and took a deep breath. "Thanks, Moony. I just want everything to be perfect."

Sirius grinned, nudging James playfully. "Don't worry, mate. Just remember to breathe and don't trip over your own feet."

James shot him a look but couldn't suppress a smile. "Thanks, Padfoot."

Just then, the common room door swung open, and you stepped out. James's breath hitched as he saw you in a beautiful dress, your eyes lighting up when you saw him.

"Hi, James," you said softly, blushing.

"Hi," he replied, equally bashful. "You look... amazing."

"So do you," you responded, your eyes sparkling with excitement.

James offered you his arm, and together you walked out of the castle, heading to a secret spot he had found—a cozy clearing in the Forbidden Forest, magically lit with floating lanterns and enchanted music. It was the perfect place for a dance.

As you both swayed to the music, James couldn't take his eyes off you. You giggled when he spun you around, and your laughter was infectious. You were both so wrapped up in the moment that you didn't notice Remus sneaking up with a Polaroid camera.

"Smile!" Remus called out, snapping a picture just as you and James looked over, caught mid-laugh, your faces glowing with happiness.

Sirius's voice rang out from behind, "Look at the lovebirds! Don’t get too carried away, Prongs."

James rolled his eyes but couldn't wipe the grin off his face. "Shut it, Padfoot."

You and James shared a knowing look, the teasing only adding to the magic of the evening.

Seventh Year

James Potter sat on his bed in the seventh-year boys' dormitory, the chaos of the day swirling around him. His eyes were fixed on a worn Polaroid photo he held gently in his hands. It was the picture Remus had taken that night two years ago, the night of your first dance.

In the photo, you and James were laughing, so clearly in love that it was almost tangible. James traced your smiling face with his thumb, a soft smile playing on his lips.

"Still staring at that old thing?" Sirius's voice broke through his reverie.

James looked up to see Sirius leaning against the doorframe, a knowing smirk on his face. "Yeah," James admitted, "I can't help it. That was one of the best nights of my life."

Sirius walked over and sat next to him, peering at the photo. "You two were adorable."

James nodded, his thoughts momentarily lost in the memory.

Sirius glanced at him, a more serious look in his eyes. "James, are you sure you didn't make a mistake?"

James looked up sharply, his brow furrowing. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, you and her were great together," Sirius said softly. "You loved her."

James sighed, his eyes drifting back to the photo. "I know, Sirius. But things changed. We grew apart. And now... now I'm with Lily."

Sirius leaned back, considering his friend's words. "Do you love Lily?"

James hesitated, his gaze fixed on the Polaroid. "Yeah, I do. It's just... it's different."

"Different how?" Sirius pressed gently.

James struggled to find the right words. "With her, it was easy. Natural. With Lily, it's... more complicated. But that doesn't mean it's not real."

Sirius nodded slowly. "Alright, then. As long as you're sure."

James slipped the photo into his pocket, standing up. "I am. I think."

Sirius clapped James on the shoulder. "Just make sure to keep making new memories, mate. Don't get stuck in the past."

James nodded, feeling a mix of nostalgia and uncertainty. He knew his past with you would always be a part of him, but he was determined to give his relationship with Lily his all. As he headed out to find Lily, he couldn't shake the lingering doubt, but he resolved to move forward, hoping to create even more unforgettable moments.

you said I'm the love of your life...

sixth year

The stars twinkled brightly above as you and James lay on a blanket in the Astronomy Tower, the cool night air filled with the scent of blooming flowers from the grounds below. It was a perfect night, far away from the chaos of school and the looming threat of exams. You had a small box of chocolate-covered strawberries between you, a treat James had managed to sneak past the house-elves.

James looked over at you, his eyes reflecting the starlight. "This is perfect," he murmured, a soft smile playing on his lips.

You picked up a strawberry, the chocolate glistening in the moonlight, and gently held it to his lips. He took a bite, closing his eyes in delight. "Delicious," he said, his voice filled with contentment.

You giggled, feeding him another piece. "I'm glad you like it."

As you continued to feed him the sweet treats, James reached out and took your hand, his fingers intertwining with yours. "You know," he began softly, "I've been thinking a lot lately."

You raised an eyebrow, curious. "Oh? About what?"

James's gaze was intense, filled with a mixture of nervousness and determination. "About you. About us."

Your heart skipped a beat. "What about us?"

He took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving yours. "You mean everything to me. More than Quidditch, more than anything else at Hogwarts. I... I love you."

Your breath caught in your throat as you stared at him, his words hanging in the air like a sweet melody. "James..."

He squeezed your hand, his voice steady and sincere. "You’re the love of my life. I can’t imagine a future without you in it."

Tears welled up in your eyes, but they were tears of happiness. "I love you too, James. So much."

He pulled you closer, his arms wrapping around you as you both lay there, the stars above and the world below seeming to fade away. In that moment, nothing else mattered but the two of you and the love you shared.

As you fed him another strawberry, your heart swelled with joy and contentment. James Potter, with his messy hair and mischievous grin, had captured your heart completely, and you knew without a doubt that you were his, just as much as he was yours.

seventh year

The halls of Hogwarts were quieter than usual as you made your way to the Gryffindor common room. It had been a long day, and you were looking forward to relaxing by the fire. As you approached the entrance, you noticed the door slightly ajar and heard voices inside.

Curiosity piqued, you peeked through the crack and saw James and Lily standing by the fireplace. Your heart clenched. You and James had broken up a few months ago, and though you were trying to move on, it was still hard seeing him.

James's voice was soft, almost tender. "Lily, there's something I need to tell you."

Lily looked up at him, her green eyes curious and a bit nervous. "What is it, James?"

He took a deep breath, his usual confidence replaced by a vulnerability you rarely saw. "I've liked you for a long time, but it's more than that now. I love you, Lily. I think I always have."

Your breath caught in your throat, and you took an involuntary step back. The pain was sharp and immediate, like a dagger to the heart. You knew things had changed between you and James, but hearing him say those words to someone else was harder than you had imagined.

Lily looked stunned, her cheeks flushing a delicate pink. "James, I... I don't know what to say."

He reached out, gently taking her hand in his. "You don't have to say anything right now. I just needed you to know."

Unable to bear any more, you turned and walked away, your footsteps echoing in the empty hallway. Each step felt heavier than the last, the weight of his words pressing down on you.

Reaching an empty classroom, you slipped inside and leaned against the wall, struggling to hold back tears. The memories of your time with James flooded your mind—your first dance, the laughter, the love you once shared.

It was over now. He had moved on, and you knew you had to do the same. But in that moment, the pain was raw and real, and you allowed yourself to feel it, if only for a little while.

mr steal your girl, and make her cry..

The Gryffindor common room was buzzing with excitement. James and Lily had called everyone together for an announcement, and the atmosphere was charged with anticipation. You stood near the back, feeling a mixture of curiosity and unease. You had your suspicions about what the announcement might be, but you tried to push those thoughts aside.

James and Lily stood by the fireplace, hands intertwined, both beaming with happiness. James cleared his throat, and the room fell silent.

"We have some exciting news to share," James began, his eyes shining as he looked at Lily. "Lily and I are getting engaged!"

The room erupted into cheers and applause. You forced a smile, clapping along with everyone else. You made your way through the crowd to offer your congratulations.

"Congratulations, James. Lily. I'm really happy for you both," you said, your voice steady despite the ache in your chest.

James smiled warmly at you. "Thanks. It means a lot."

Lily hugged you, her happiness radiating from her. "Thank you. We're so excited."

You nodded, the smile still fixed on your face. "You both deserve all the happiness in the world."

After a few more words, you excused yourself, claiming you needed some fresh air. You slipped out of the common room and wandered the halls, your heart growing heavier with each step. You found yourself outside an empty classroom and ducked inside, your composure finally breaking.

A few moments later, the door creaked open, and Remus and Sirius walked in. They had seen you leave and had followed, concern etched on their faces.

"Hey," Remus said gently, his voice full of empathy. "Are you okay?"

The tears you had been holding back began to flow, and you shook your head. "No, I'm not."

Sirius moved closer, his usual playful demeanor replaced with genuine concern. "Come here," he said softly, pulling you into a hug.

You collapsed into their arms, sobbing uncontrollably. The weight of everything—your broken relationship with James, seeing him so happy with Lily, and the future you had once imagined now completely out of reach—came crashing down on you.

Remus held you tightly, his voice soothing. "It's okay to feel this way. Let it out."

Sirius rested his chin on your head, whispering softly, "I'm sorry, love. Sometimes it feels like life's just Mr. Steal-Your-Girl-And-Make-Her-Cry."

Despite the tears, you let out a small, bitter laugh at Sirius's words. They stayed with you, offering comfort and support as you slowly began to gather yourself.

"It's going to be okay," Remus said, his voice steady. "We're here for you. Always."

You nodded, grateful for their friendship and support. Though the pain was still there, you knew you weren't alone. With Remus and Sirius by your side, you felt a glimmer of hope that you would find the strength to move forward.

you shit talked me under the table, talking rings and talking cradles..

Sixth Year

The Great Hall was transformed for the Halloween feast, filled with floating pumpkins, flickering candles, and enchanted bats swooping around the ceiling. The atmosphere was lively, with students chatting and laughing as they enjoyed the festivities. You and James sat side by side at the Gryffindor table, the warmth of his presence making the evening even more special.

Under the table, your hands were intertwined, a secret connection amidst the public celebration. James squeezed your hand gently, drawing your attention away from the decorations and back to him. He had that familiar mischievous twinkle in his eyes, but there was something deeper, more serious, behind it tonight.

As you reached for a goblet of pumpkin juice, James deftly took your other hand and slipped the ring from your middle finger. Your heart skipped a beat as he held your gaze, his touch sending shivers down your spine. He carefully placed the ring on your ring finger, his movements slow and deliberate.

"James?" you whispered, a mixture of curiosity and excitement in your voice.

He lifted your hand to his lips and kissed it tenderly, his eyes never leaving yours. "I can't wait to marry you and have a family with you," he said softly, his voice filled with sincerity and love.

Your breath caught in your throat, tears of joy welling up in your eyes. "James, I..."

He smiled, his expression tender. "I know we're still young, but I can't imagine my life without you. You're everything to me."

You felt a rush of emotions—love, happiness, and a deep sense of connection with the boy sitting next to you. "I love you, James. More than anything."

He leaned in, brushing a soft kiss against your lips, the world around you fading away as you shared that intimate moment. The noise of the feast, the laughter of your friends, and the decorations all seemed distant compared to the warmth and love you felt for each other.

As the evening continued, you couldn't help but glance at the ring now adorning your ring finger. It was a simple gesture, but it symbolized a promise—a future filled with love, commitment, and the dreams you and James shared. Holding hands under the table, you both knew that this was just the beginning of a beautiful journey together.

years later...

The cozy cottage in Godric's Hollow was filled with the soft coos and occasional cries of a newborn. You stood at the doorstep, a mix of anticipation and nerves swirling inside you. You hadn't seen James and Lily since they announced the birth of their son, Harry, and now you were here to meet the newest member of their family.

James opened the door, a tired but proud smile on his face. "Hey," he greeted, stepping aside to let you in. "Come on in."

You smiled warmly, stepping into the house. The living room was filled with baby items—blankets, toys, and a crib in the corner. Lily sat on the couch, cradling baby Harry in her arms. She looked up and smiled when she saw you.

"Hi," you said softly, approaching them. "Congratulations. He's beautiful."

"Thank you," Lily replied, her eyes shining with joy. "Would you like to hold him?"

You nodded, your heart pounding as you carefully took Harry into your arms. He was so small, his tiny fingers grasping at the air. You felt a rush of emotions—happiness for your friends, but also a twinge of bittersweet nostalgia for the dreams you once had with James.

James watched you with a mixture of pride and something else—guilt. He shifted uncomfortably, his gaze dropping to the floor.

"He's perfect," you said softly, your voice steady despite the emotions swirling inside you.

James cleared his throat, finally meeting your eyes. "I'm really glad you came. It means a lot."

You smiled, your voice gentle. "Of course, James. I wish you all the happiness in the world."

Lily looked between the two of you, sensing the unspoken history. She smiled warmly, trying to bridge the gap. "We have something we'd like to ask you."

You looked up, curiosity piqued. "What is it?"

Lily took a deep breath, her eyes sincere. "We would be honored if you would be Harry's godmother."

The weight of her words hit you, and you felt tears welling up. "Lily, I... I'd be honored. Thank you."

At that moment, Sirius appeared in the doorway, having just arrived. He took one look at the scene and immediately understood. His eyes narrowed at James, anger flickering in his gaze. He walked over and stood by your side, his presence comforting. He gently took your hand, offering silent support.

James shifted uncomfortably, his guilt evident. "We really do want you to be part of his life. It means so much to us."

Sirius's grip on your hand tightened slightly, his voice cold as he addressed James. "You don't get to just ask her to be godmother and think it makes everything okay, James."

You squeezed Sirius's hand, a silent plea for understanding. "It's alright, Sirius. I love Lily, James, and Harry. I want to be here for them."

Sirius looked at you, his expression softening, though the tension remained. "Are you sure? You don't have to do this if it hurts too much."

You nodded, your eyes filled with determination. "I'm sure. They need me, and I need them too."

As you stood there, holding baby Harry and surrounded by your friends, you felt a mixture of pain and healing. Life had taken unexpected turns, but there was beauty in the new connections and the love that still bound you all together.

"Welcome to the family, little one," you whispered to Harry, feeling Sirius's steady hand holding yours through it all.

i can't get out of bed, cuz something counterfeits dead...

The sunlight streamed through the windows of your cozy apartment, casting warm patterns on the walls. But despite the brightness outside, the room felt dim and heavy with sorrow. You lay in bed, cocooned in blankets, your thoughts consumed by memories of happier times with James.

Remus and Sirius had grown increasingly concerned about you. They knew you hadn't been yourself lately, spending more and more time alone, lost in your own thoughts. They had tried to give you space, but they couldn't ignore the pain they saw in your eyes.

Remus knocked softly on your bedroom door, poking his head inside. "Hey, how are you feeling today?"

You mustered a weak smile, though it didn't reach your eyes. "About the same."

Sirius followed Remus into the room, his expression a mix of concern and determination. "We brought breakfast," he said, holding up a tray laden with food.

You forced yourself to sit up, feeling a pang of guilt at their worried expressions. "Thanks, guys. You really didn't have to do that."

Remus sat on the edge of your bed, his gaze gentle. "We want to help, Y/N. You're not alone in this."

You picked at your food, unable to summon much of an appetite. The weight of your heartache felt suffocating, and it seemed impossible to imagine ever feeling whole again.

Sirius reached out and took your hand, his touch warm and comforting. "We're here for you, Y/N. Whatever you need."

Tears welled up in your eyes, threatening to spill over. "I miss him so much, Sirius. I can't stop thinking about him."

Remus squeezed your shoulder, his voice soft but determined. "It's okay to grieve, Y/N. But we don't want to see you suffer like this."

You nodded, feeling their love and concern wash over you like a lifeline in the storm. "I know. I just... I don't know how to move on."

Sirius leaned in, his voice filled with conviction. "We'll figure it out together. One step at a time."

They stayed with you, offering words of comfort and encouragement, their presence a beacon of hope in the darkness of your grief. They helped you out of bed, coaxing you to eat and drink, and gently guided you through the days ahead.

With Remus and Sirius by your side, you began to find the strength to face each new day. Their unwavering support and love became your anchor, helping you navigate the rough waters of loss and healing. And though the pain of losing James would always linger, you knew that with Remus and Sirius by your side, you would never have to face it alone.

still alive, killing time at the cemetery..

The news came like a thunderclap, shattering the fragile peace of your world. James and Lily were gone—taken from you by the dark and vengeful hand of Voldemort himself. The grief was overwhelming, suffocating, as if the weight of the loss would crush you where you stood.

You and Sirius raced to Godric's Hollow, your hearts pounding with dread as you approached the ruins of their home. The sight that greeted you was almost too much to bear. The once quaint cottage lay in ruins, smoke still rising from the wreckage.

You stumbled forward, tears blurring your vision as you searched desperately for any sign of them. And then you saw him—James, lying on the ground, his lifeless eyes staring up at the sky. Lily was upstairs, her body lying mere inches from where baby Harry was nestled in his cradle, who miraculously survived.

You fell to your knees beside James, your heart breaking into a million pieces. You wailed and sobbed, clutching his lifeless body to your chest, unable to comprehend the magnitude of your loss.

Sirius collapsed beside you, his grief mirroring your own. He reached out, pulling you into a tight embrace as you both mourned the loss of your friends, your family.

But amidst the pain and despair, a spark of determination ignited within you. You looked down at baby Harry, his eyes wide and innocent, and you made a silent vow. You would raise him, protect him, and ensure that he knew the love of his parents, even if they couldn't be there to give it themselves.

As Sirius prepared to leave for revenge on Pettigrew, you made your decision. You stood up, your eyes filled with resolve, and you looked him in the eye.

"I'll raise Harry," you said firmly, your voice steady despite the turmoil inside you. "I promised Lily and James that I would look after him, and I intend to keep that promise."

Sirius nodded, his expression one of fierce determination. "I'll do whatever it takes to bring Pettigrew to justice. And then we'll make sure Harry knows the truth about his parents."

You embraced Sirius one last time, drawing strength from each other as you faced the uncertain future ahead. Together, you would honor the memory of James and Lily, and ensure that their son grew up knowing the love and sacrifice that had defined their lives.

You made your way to lily, combing her beautiful locks out of her young, lovely face, breaking down in tears again as you enveloped her in your arms. "I won't let you down Lils" you vowed, rocking back and forth, clearing the specks of dust that had landed on her cheeks.

You went back to James, running your hand through his mop of curls one more time, a raspy sob breaking past your lips as you pressed a kiss to his forehead, tears dripping down onto his nose. "I love you and i always will" you sobbed, stroking his cheek, wishing his arms would envelop you instead of hanging limply at his sides.

You took a minute to compose yourself, picking baby Harry up and heading to the door, apparating to the apartment you shared with Sirius.

You would never let anyone take him from you.

you're the loss of my life...

The fire crackled softly in the cozy living room of Grimmauld Place, casting flickering shadows on the walls. You sat nestled in an armchair, a book in your lap, but your mind was far away, lost in memories of the past fifteen years.

Harry, now fifteen years old, had grown into a remarkable young man under your care. He was fiercely loyal, brave, and kind-hearted, qualities that reminded you so much of his parents. He often called you "mama," a term of endearment that warmed your heart every time you heard it.

You had raised Harry as your own, pouring all your love and devotion into him, determined to give him the happy childhood that had been stolen from him by Voldemort's cruelty. And in return, Harry loved you fiercely, seeing you not only as his guardian but as his closest confidante and a second mother.

But despite the love and joy Harry brought into your life, there were still moments of darkness and pain, moments when the weight of the past threatened to crush you under its unbearable burden. Tonight was one of those moments.

"I miss him, Sirius," you whispered, your voice barely above a whisper. "Every day, I feel his absence like a hole in my heart."

Sirius reached out and took your hand, his eyes filled with sympathy. "I know, Y/N. We all do. He was... he was everything to us."

Remus nodded, his expression somber. "James and Lily were the best of us. Losing them... it's a pain that never goes away."

Tears welled up in your eyes, and you struggled to compose yourself. "I still love James, Remus. I always will. He was the love of my life, the loss of my life."

Sirius's grip tightened on your hand, his own eyes shining with unshed tears. "We'll get through this together, Y/N. We'll keep Harry safe, and we'll make sure James and Lily's sacrifice wasn't in vain."

Just then, the door creaked open, and Harry stood there, his eyes wide with concern. He had heard your conversation from upstairs, and his heart ached at the pain in your voices.

"Mum? Mama?" he called softly, his voice trembling.

You turned to see him standing there, his eyes filled with tears. Without a word, he rushed forward and threw himself into your arms, clinging to you as if you were his lifeline.

You held him tight, feeling his warm tears soak into your shirt. "Oh, Harry," you whispered, your own tears flowing freely now. "We're okay, sweetheart. We're okay."

Sirius and Remus joined the embrace, forming a tight circle of love and grief. Together, you cried for the ones you had lost, but also for the strength and love that still bound you together.

In that moment, surrounded by the ones you loved most in the world, you felt a glimmer of hope amidst the darkness. You knew that as long as you had each other, you could face whatever challenges lay ahead, and that James and Lily's legacy would live on in the love you shared with Harry and with each other.

a/n : well...this broke my heart a lot. as always, comments likes reblogs feedback etc is always appreciated 🤍

TAGS

general : @roslastyles420 @hopefulinlove @bluesongbird-blog

the tortured poets department: @ateezseonghwanot @khaylin27 @imgondeletedis @jj-ever-lovely-jewel @stylestastic

TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST SEND ME AN ASK OR A DM SPECIFYING WHICH FANDOM 🤍

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paisleypens · 3 days

Note

spencer agnew :)

reader is also content creation and they meet through random little colab

so cuteeee

GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE!!! love this request all this writing the hyper fixation is GOING BANANAS (also pretend they never played munchkin on the channel, its just both mine and spencers favorite so!!)

chemistry | spencer agnew x streamer!reader

You were beyond excited as you stepped into the Smosh building, heart pounding with a mixture of nerves and exhilaration. The email inviting you to join Smosh Games for a session of your favorite board game, Munchkin, had been a dream come true. As a Twitch streamer with a (not to brag) rapidly growing following, this collaboration was a huge milestone.

You were greeted by Ian Hecox, whose welcomeness immediately put you at ease. "Hey! You must be Y/N. We're really excited to have you here," he said, giving you a friendly smile.

"Thank you so much for having me," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady. "I've been a fan for years."

As Ian led you to the set, you caught sight of Spencer Agnew, who was busy setting up the game. He looked up, a pair of glasses perched on his nose, and gave you a shy smile. You felt your stomach do a somersault.

"Hey, Y/N. I'm Spencer," he said, extending a hand. "I'm a producer here and also a huge fan of Munchkin. Can't wait to play it with you."

"Nice to meet you, Spencer," you said, shaking his hand. His touch was warm, and you noticed the slight flush on his cheeks as he pulled away. "I've heard you're the go-to guy for games around here."

He chuckled, running a hand through his hair. "Yeah, something like that. I've seen some of your streams. You're really funny."

You felt your cheeks heat up. "Thanks. I love what you guys do here."

As the rest of the cast arrived, you were introduced to Olivia Sui, Courtney Miller, and Shayne Topp, who all welcomed you enthusiastically. The energy on set was infectious, and soon you were deep into the game of Munchkin, Spencer by your side, helping everyone else through the more complex rules.

Throughout the game, you and Spencer developed an easy chemistry. He had a quick wit that matched your own, and your banter flowed naturally. There was a moment when you both reached for the same card, your hands brushing against each other. You glanced up to find him looking at you, his eyes twinkling with a mix of surprise and something else that made your heart race. Once you even teamed up against Shayne to stop him from reaching level 10, and while it could’ve been anyone, it felt different with Spencer fighting by your side.

"Looks like we're a good team," he said, his voice a bit lower.

"Yeah, we are," you replied, your voice equally soft.

The rest of the cast couldn’t help but notice it all. Olivia and Courtney exchanged knowing glances, while Shayne made a few lighthearted comments that made Spencer blush and you laugh nervously.

After wrapping up the Munchkin session, Ian asked if you would be willing to shoot a Try Not to Laugh video too. You were thrilled; it was one of your favorite Smosh series. You couldn’t help but say yes.

As you headed to the new set, Spencer walked beside you. "You nervous?" he asked, his voice gentle.

"A little," you admitted. "But mostly excited."

"Don't worry, you'll do great," he said, giving you an encouraging smile. "Plus, it's always more fun when we have new people. Brings better energy."

The Try Not to Laugh shoot was a blast. Spencer made a surprise appearance, joining in on the antics. The awkward flirting between you two continued, much to the amusement of the rest of the cast. There were moments when Spencer would glance at you, his eyes lingering just a bit too long, or when your laughter would cause him to smile wider than usual.

During a break, you found yourself alone in the hallway, trying to catch your breath from all the laughter. Spencer approached you, a bottle of water in hand.

"Here," he said, offering it to you. "Thought you might need this."

"Thanks," you said, taking it gratefully. "This has been so much fun."

"Yeah, it has," he agreed, shuffling his feet a bit. "Hey, I was wondering if maybe you'd want to grab coffee sometime? You know, outside of the studio."

Your heart skipped a beat. "I'd love that," you replied, smiling.

The rest of the day went by in a blur of laughter and camaraderie. As you were packing up to leave, Spencer approached you again, this time looking a bit more nervous.

"Hey, um, there's a little gathering tonight at one of the crew's places. You should come. It'll be fun," he said, his voice hopeful.

"Sure, that sounds great," you said, feeling a thrill of excitement.

The party was lively, filled with music, chatter, and the familiar faces of the Smosh crew. You and Spencer gravitated towards each other, finding a quiet corner to chat. The chemistry between you was undeniable, and it felt like everyone in the room could sense it.

At one point, you excused yourself to the bathroom. As you were washing your hands, the door opened, and Spencer slipped inside, closing it behind him.

"Hey," he said, his voice soft, eyes locking onto yours in the mirror. "I just… I couldn't wait any longer."

Before you could respond, he stepped closer, his hands gently cupping your face. Your heart raced as he leaned in, capturing your lips in a tender kiss. It was soft and sweet at first, but quickly turned more passionate. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer as the kiss deepened.

When you finally pulled apart, both of you were breathless. Spencer rested his forehead against yours, a soft smile playing on his lips.

"That was… wow," he murmured.

"Yeah," you agreed, your voice barely more than a whisper.

You both left the bathroom a few minutes later, trying to act nonchalant. But the knowing smiles and teasing looks from the rest of the Smosh cast told you that your secret wasn’t much of a secret at all. The night ended with Spencer walking you to your car, his hand gently holding yours. As you said your goodbyes, he leaned in for another kiss, this one soft and lingering.

"See you soon?" he asked, hope shining in his eyes.

"Definitely," you replied, smiling. "I can't wait."

As you drove home, your heart was full. What had started as an invitation to guest on Smosh had turned into so much more. You couldn't wait to see where this would lead.

#smosh #spencer agnew #smosh fanfiction #smosh x reader #spencer agnew x reader #paisleypens

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samarecharm · 2 days

Text

tw disordered eating (not in explicit detail)

Whenever i write Yusuke and his relationship w the thieves, i try to emphasize that Yusuke was in a really really Really bad space not only mentally (like the others) but physically; hes bone-stick thin and you can feel his ribs jutting out if you go for a hug. Hes a bit gaunt in the face and hes got next to no muscle mass. He tires easily and hes kind of a shit fighter bc of it. The metaverse fills in the gaps a little bit, but his body is still very frail and unprepared to transition to an active lifestyle after years of surviving off of such a bare bones calorie diet. For my Akira, it is the driving force behind wanting to takedown Madarame; hes a sucker for a pretty face but hes also unable to look away from someone actively wasting away because of the actions of their guardian.

If any of them try to mention Yusukes physical state or diet, he often deflects, angrily, reminding them that he is abnormally tall, and that that obviously contributes to his thin (frail) stature. Its very hard to get him to eat while theyre in saferooms, and he often lags behind while exploring the museum. He cant stay in combat for too long, and at some point, Akira debates if he should even allow Yusuke to stay on the team; if he passed out or Worse under Akiras watch, hed never forgive himself.

BUT. As the thieves gain his trust, Yusukes a bit more willing to indulge them. He learns quickly that they arent pitying him like he initially assumed (he is far too aware of how much he feels like hes neglected his own body; and how others can easily see that neglect). They routinely eat and hang together bc thats just how they bond, and theyre just trying to invite him into their circle properly. Akira has zero experience w this kind of thing, but Ryuji and Ann are athletes and models respectively; theyre both in fields that encourage that kind of self destructive behavior, and they have some kind of insight into how to avoid falling for those same traps, and helping people who Do end up in those scenarios.

(Anns parents, despite their absence, do their best to prepare her for how cutthroat the modeling world is; to keep her from developing the kind of habits and mindsets that let young men and women destroy themselves. ESPECIALLY bc my Ann is a plus sized model. And Ryuji, as a promising track star, would know how bad it can get for professional athletes, the lengths at which theyd go to maintain their positions and ability to compete. Hes a gym rat who loves food and nutrition and knows what he needs to keep himself fit, and thats all he really needs)

They cant feed Yusuke the way they WANT to bc hes already so thin, so they just let him take from their plates to sample things and let him feel included. He starts taking up Ryujis offers to go get meals together, even is Ryuji ends up taking almost an entire extra serving home as takeout. He lets Ann drag him away to the crepe shop and her other little snack havens, even if he only leaves w a small chocolate of sorts to take home. He lets Akira make coffee and curry for them to split when he comes to Leblanc. And maybe he lets Sojiro cook a full plate for him to take back home to eat at his leisure and away from prying eyes. Yusuke goes from bitter to extraordinarily fond rather quick, and he finds himself angry that this is yet another thing Madarame has stolen from him.

By Futabas palace, hes filled out enough that Akira doesnt immediately panic when Yusuke gets tossed onto the floor by some brute of a shadow, worried that hed shattered every goddamn bone in his body on impact. He doesnt have any real muscle by any means but his face has the faintest bit of cheek fat that Ann is able to pinch w her evil little hands, and when he looks in the mirror, the ribs peek out but they dont jut out. His breathing is better, his skin is just Pale and not Ghostly white, hes got a healthy flush when he laughs at Akiras stupid puns, and he finds himself allocating a bit more of his budget towards stocking his fridge. Sometimes, Akira can even convince him to people-watch out in the sun instead of in the subway tunnels.

At some point, Yusuke becomes very vocal about things he wants, but importantly, about Food he wants. He will eagerly allow his friends to treat him if they ask, and he picks whatever sounds nice to his ears or whatever Ann and Ryuji recommend him. Part of it is due to him feeling safe enough to ask for such things; the thieves kinda laugh about his eccentricity and forwardness, but Akira, Ann and Ryuji know how different and comfortable this Yusuke is compared to the one they met. Its silly but its good; he gets to act like this bc the thieves let him be forward- they let him voice his wants and needs without a fight.

By post game, hes got the barest hint of a tummy pouch, and Ann will attack it relentless with a firm poke whenever hes foolish enough to stretch and lift his shirt to expose it. She thinks its cute 😭 Shes really happy to see it, bc she thinks of Yusuke all skin and bones and angry and scared like a feral dog barking mad, lashing out at any help they offered and working himself sick (figuratively and literally) trying to help make things right. It makes her so sad recalling it, so she likes to remind herself that hes okay now, even if hes a little embarrassed by it. She knows Akira and Ryuji do the same, inviting Yusuke to hang and just see him w their Own eyes that hes better, and that they did the right thing by insisting he join their little ragtag group.

#persona 5 #yusuke #long post #i loooooove him #inspired by vines post about characters gaining weight as they get older #its not EXACTLY the same but it reminded me that ive wanted to make a post about this for ages #yusuke and his frail lil hollow bird bones….#for perspective; i hc him as 6’4 to 6’6 (cant settle on one quite yet #or 193 to 198cm (assuming i converted it right)#so hes Very tall and extremely skinny. like Akira is 6’0 and even hes like bbygirl u are going to fly away in the wind #i think Yusuke will always be a little thin; as he gets older; his metabolism works as intended #but it just burns everything lighting fast.#the tummy pudge stays forever tho; fat does not stick anywhere else on his body but that little pudge and hes indifferent about it #no one can tell anyway since he wears these long and loose dress shirts #and he doesnt work out at ALL unlike the rest of the thieves (sans futaba)#so hell never really get any kind of muscle definition or even get closed to being toned #but thats better for him; he has better things to do than fret over his appearance #he has ART to make and friends to dine with

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wildpeachfarm · 3 days

Note

I feel like you can really feel how covid hurt some of these (younger) CCs in some basic ways because the way that fight broke out because of the buggy game. Like, the basic idea of "I know you did good, but you did good because you were given an advantage and that's not fair" it's something that I think I would have to explain to little kids.

I am begging these people to go to a therapist and talk about their lack of empathy to others because they gotta work on that

(ON A NICE POINT THO!!!!! It's not everyone, and you can tell because Sapnap was on a team with someone who's (uh... I forgot his name. C- guy) friend and they both played fine! Their entire team lived! So people can be normal, there's just some weird people screaming very loudly doing some nasty stuff and encouraging fans to do the same)

(It can be a healthy space, it just needs work pit into it. But I'll be honest, I don't think or want the Dteam to be the ones putting on that work. They already sacrificed too much of themselves , they deserve to protect themselves now)

Yeah agreed

#I’ve written ESSAYS on here about how COVID fucked some of these younger streamers up BADLY and now they don’t know how to act like humans #ask

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bee-the-loser · 2 days

Text

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₊ ⊹☼ Pairing: The8/Xu Minghao x reader ₊ ⊹☼ Synopsis: Multiple chance encounters across lives, with a soul somehow fated to yours throughout ₊ ⊹☼ Genre: Reincarnation au, slight fantasy/historic au ₊ ⊹☼ Word count: 1.67k ₊ ⊹☼ Warnings: Mentions of death, loss and grief. Minor character death mentions ₊ ⊹☼ A/N: This has been sitting in my drafts for a while as I didn't feel that the story was done yet. However, it's at a good point right now to post. Maybe I'll return to add to it further at one point though.

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Loss is an emptiness that eats away at the soul, a metaphorical knife carving it’s design on the surface but leaving behind wounds deep enough to bleed. And the strange thing about loss is you let it. In a sense it’s a sickly beautiful thing to experience as the blood pours out staining over the pure memories and taints them to be forever red. A crimson red that’s the same as the heart that somehow still beats inside your chest, because while it feels like everything should be still, time moves on. Time still encourages hearts to beat and wounds to bleed.

And bleed they do…

Your first loss shouldn’t be considered that actually. There are so many factors that completely contradict it as “the first loss you experienced”. For a start, you had lost people before. A woman who never had the chance to be a mother, your mother, passing away before she got even a second with her child. A young boy, who once you considered a brother, starved under the night sky with his eyes locked onto the moon. After all, Grief was no stranger to your soul. He visited often and settled in your bones like a heavy sick reminder of life.

No, none of these was your first loss. A kind of deep grief, yes, but they felt inevitable somehow.

Your first loss came in a form you never expected. A loss of opportunity and the questions of what could have been. Leaving the first scar of many dotted over your skin.

You didn’t know his name the first time, you barely got to know him at all actually. It was a fleeting moment that stopped the world if just for a second. Even if it was just for you.

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The makeshift grave you created when Chan died was positioned out in a forest glade on the edge of town, giving him the privacy and peace he deserved. An ideal place for him to continue watching the night sky like he did when he was tangible, and now as a star, a place for him to look down on from above. It seems childish now thinking that was how the world worked, that he would stick around for you.

You know better now.

You had been spending the afternoon visiting him, after collecting flowers for your little stall, coming to rest up in the willow tree sheltering the glade from the outside view. The branches allowing you a raised position to look down below, which is how you spotted him initially. This dark haired beauty dressed in clothes that didn’t seem typical for that of normal adventurers. You assumed that’s what he must be, no one else tends to come out that far. Somehow, he had stumbled onto Chan’s clearing though, only the fates may know how, and came to a pause in front of the poorly carved headstone you placed on the first death anniversary. It didn’t matter that there was no body to bury, his memory would live on.

Something about that resonated in this figure’s mind. It wasn’t obvious at first but moments later when you got the first glimpse at his soul-bearing eyes and the way they scanned the words told you all you needed. He was memorising the words, breathing out his very essence into the world and immortalising this time. The phrase you had heard many times before bringing tears to your eyes as it was spoken out loud after a year again.

“The moon sure is lonely tonight”. He was just reading out loud that time, but maybe that’s why it left such an impact. There were no deeper connotations or commitments that suffocated the moment. It was raw and real.

If given the chance of every lifetime, you would chose to return to this moment eternally.

He left not long after that with a new print on his soul in the name of Lee Chan and the fleeting thoughts of a phrase once whispered. It wasn’t until afterwards that you saw the carefully placed bundle of forget-me-nots. Flowers that symbolise memorises and the concept of thinking of loved one ones while one is away. You don’t remember ever have crying as hard as you did that night as you allowed yourself to break down after having repressed everything for a long time. The hope that someone else would continue to think of the young boy and maybe one day return providing a sort of comfort you never realised you needed.

You continued with your routines and visits but never once saw the stranger again. Your first loss came unexpectedly and you couldn’t help but think of what could have happened if things were different. Had Chan been alive to greet him? Had you spoken out to him? Had you got to know him? But you didn’t and so the opportunity passed by and life continued until death came to claim you too.

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What you didn’t expect was the life that came after and the memories that flickered back to you slowly. You could remember it all clearly at first but the more time progressed and lives were lived, the hazier things became. So you wrote to remember. Diary entries inked across pages depicting and detailing each moment and connection you continued to share.

It took you a total of three lives to realise you and your stranger were somehow connected. You seemed destined to spot him under the moonlight over and over again, each time bringing something new for you to note.

However, it was your fourth life that something truly changed, with an opportunity for the two of you to introduce yourselves. A night-time balcony overlooking the palace gardens providing a shared relief from the noise of the party inside. You had yet to see your stranger that lifetime and you certainly weren’t expecting to find him approaching you from behind on his own escape from the ballroom.

Your eyes had found comfort in the solitude of the starlit sky, with a faint recollection of a young voice discussing constellations in great enthusiasm. Your body curled up onto the stone edge with the coldness contrasting to the heat radiating from the party inside. There had been no mention of the balcony being off limits but it seemed abandoned in that moment similar to how you felt. Maybe that is why when you heard the small thuds of footsteps approaching you assumed it was a guard coming to bring you inside. However, as you turned around to face them, your breath stalled inside your throat.

There he was…

Face to face, the moments that followed allowed you both to subtly scan each other’s figures, sharing a second of joint solitude. His clothes reflecting his obviously high social status, yet you naturally found yourself focusing on his deep, knowledgeable eyes. The ones that both equally haunted and comforted your thoughts. Then he spoke and his light voice rung out in a whisper like he was afraid to break the silence.

“I’m sorry for interrupting you, but I needed some time away from the chaos and couldn’t help but notice you out here alone with only the moon for company. You both seemed rather lonely tonight. Would you mind me joining you?”

The paraphrasing of the familiar line rang in your ears as you couldn’t help but tear up and turn back to the full moon in an attempt for comfort.

“Not at all, feel free to join us.”

His figure stepping closer as he approached the balcony edge himself and admired the view before the two of you. It was a comfortable silence that followed, neither of you feeling the need to fill it with meaningless chatter at first. However, as you turned to gain another glance at him, wanting to capture every detail for your writing later on, your gaze fell onto the baby blue flowers that lay in his pocket.

“Forget-me-nots?”

As he turned to meet your eyes, he saw the way they lingered onto his flowers and then noticed the similar ones decorated into your own outfit.

“Hmm, there is something special about the resilience of these little blossoms which bloom in clusters throughout marshy harsh terrain. In a sense I admire the way they manage to preserve and grow with those tough conditions. It’s something I often see reflected in humanity, although, unlike the flowers, not often do people manage to make it full bloom I find.”

The philosophical answer was not one you had expected from him, but certainly wasn’t unwelcome. You had your own greater meanings to the flowers that you shared back with careful consideration, still unsure of if your stranger retained his memories like you. It was something you noted in a previous life where you tried to speak to a different Chan and was left alone once more, that not everyone had the privilege, or was it a curse, to remember like you do.

“For me, they symbolise remembering those who once were but no longer are. A promise to keep the memories of them alive for as long as you live. The stories you experienced and the thoughts you shared allowing a part of them to stay.”

Silence settled back down between the two of you, which is why you could hear the song that started to play out by the band. A slow dance of sorts. In some twist of destiny, he reached his hand out and asked for your hand before the two of you spent time twirling across the balcony. This moment shared only by you two and the sky.

As you came to a close and the clocks chimed to signal an hour passing, with you settled in your stranger’s arms, two names were breathed out into the universe before you parted ways and he disappeared back into the ball.

“Xu Minghao.”

A name meaning brightness and vastness, one that seemed to fit the person you came to spend time with perfectly.

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#bee's writing #seventeen x reader #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fanfic #seventeen fluff #svt x reader #svt imagines #svt fluff #svt fanfic #the8 x reader #the8 fluff #the8 fanfic #xu minghao x reader #xu minghao fluff #minghao x reader #minghao fluff #minghao imagines #fanfic writing

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fairycosmos · 1 day

Note

i was talking to a professional author the other day and she was talking about her experience with chronic pain— she said that chronic pain doesn’t help her writing, it’s actually the worst for her writing, and she writes despite it. and my boyfriend told me that it feels the same with grief— it’s not something that helps your writing/art. it’s something that informs it, yes, and it’s something that can be used as catharsis, but it’s not something that’s actually helpful to it, it just hurts. and, a lot of the people i know who write on (I’m a writer, so i know mostly writers) grief are starting to do so 10+ years after their losses. in the scheme of things, 3 years is still raw. please don’t feel like you have to be able to write your grief for it to mean something or make sense or anything like that. i do encourage you to write though, and to make art, despite it all. art and writing and music are like, essential, i think. i think they’re one of the nicer things you can do for your mind n soul. whether you write about your grief or around it or deliberately leave it out, please please please don’t give up on doing something creative just for you. you’re doing so so so well, btw, and I’m really proud of you!!!!! much love from this total stranger <3

that's a really insightful and cool way of looking at it, thank you so much for sharing it w me <3 i just feel like there's a lot of pressure even just in my own head for me to make something "good" of the grief but nothing good ever comes of it - it's just the hardest thing ive ever had to go through repeated every day. maybe in 10 years i can make more sense of it but right now i just don't even know how to begin translating it. I wish i could so i could make her immortal through that work, but i just cant. cant even bring myself to think about it all most days. but yeah i think i will always dabble in art writing etc even if it's not about the mourning, even if i never share it with anyone - like you said i think just the act of doing it helps you get by. again you are a total gem and thank you so much for this, it helped me put things in perspective a lot and it also feels nice to have someone thinking im actually doing well in any capacity 😭 i truly hope you are as kind to yourself as you are to me and please know im v proud of you too, just for making it day after day! sending so much love back ur way 💓 💗

#anon #ask chloe

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davidtennan-t · 1 day

Text

The Birthday Gifts

Rose has a very special gift idea for her Mum's Birthday, but to get it, she's going to need the help of her Uncle.

Words: 5947

If you crave some Fourteen and Rose shenanigans but also lots of Fourteen and Donna angst then look no further than this fic, it’s got it all! Dedicated to my bestie @kottekonst ❤️ Also available on AO3

Today was Donna’s 53rd birthday.

The Temple-Noble residence was, therefore, rather busy for a Friday evening. The gathering was shaping up to be moderate – Donna never liked a huge fuss, but plenty of people were soon to be mingling in the large backyard, under a hired tent and the setting sunlight.

Rose had already secured her mother a gift. A bracelet, along with one of her very own handcrafted plushies. It was something of a birthday tradition and Rose was happy with her chosen little critter.

Except, she wasn’t, deep down.

There had been a niggling idea in Rose’s mind for weeks, now, and despite her best efforts to shove the idea aside and be happy with the sparkling bracelet wrapped in a gift box under her bed, she couldn’t shake the feeling of wanting to do more for her Mum. A true show of appreciation that could speak louder than any words could, without making it too… cringe.

There was a gift much more special and personal out there in the world. All day at school, her thoughts had never been far from this gift… it couldn’t be bought, nor could it be found in any shop.

It also wasn’t the correct year.

It was why collecting this gift had at first seemed impossible to Rose. How could she ever fly herself a whole year into the past?

Most people didn’t have an uncle who could navigate time and space, however.

He was retired, of course, supposed to be resting – and he did, mostly. But nobody enjoyed bending the rules of retirement more so than the Time Lord who was supposed to be doing it.

Especially when it came to his niece.

“So, are you in?”

Sat in the living room away from the hustle and bustle in the kitchen, enjoying a cup of tea made by none other than the teenage girl perched across from him, the Doctor raised an eyebrow.

“I can see why you made me the tea, now,” the Doctor regretfully replied, having listened intently to Rose’s idea for the past five minutes.

It had been a particularly strange day, on his part. Social gatherings and parties were so very domestic and human, but he was very much part of the family now. He’d helped Shaun set up the tent, fixed the broken stereo system and even dabbled in blowing up balloons under the watchful eye of Sylvia.

Anything for his Donna.

He’d finished the balloons which were all scattered around him and he'd wandered into the kitchen to make a well-earned cup of tea, when Rose had offered to make him one. Alarm bells should have rung right there and then.

“Come on, I know it will mean so much to Mum – I really want to try and make her happy,” Rose encouraged, sat on the edge of the sofa practically shaking with anticipation.

“You do make her happy, every day,” the Doctor reminded her. He never would have thought he’d be the one trying to discourage sneaking away on a quick trip.

Five months ago, they would have been in the TARDIS already.

This was different, however.

“Not like this, though… please? People will start arriving in a couple of hours and by that point it will be too late. I know the exact day, time, and everything… June 6th, 2023, it will only take two seconds, I promise.”

The Doctor glanced behind his shoulder to make sure nobody was eavesdropping.

"Couldn't we go tomorrow?" the Doctor asked.

"We could, but it wouldn't be the same. Today is her birthday and it just feels... right."

“That's fair, but it could be dangerous... you do understand the risks of bumping into your past self? It would create a paradox that would-”

“-devastate reality around me, I know,” Rose whined, but she grew more serious when she saw the look on the Doctor’s face. “I won’t bump into myself, or Mum… I know exactly when and where to go.”

Delicately deciding if he could truly trust his niece, which he would any day, the Doctor thought of a further barrier. A barrier related to the here and now. “Let’s say, hypothetically, I agreed to take you… how would we get to the TARDIS?” the Doctor asked.

The kitchen they would need to walk through to get to his beloved ship, sat on her perch surrounded by flowers, was currently occupied by Donna and Sylvia, sorting through the mountain of buffet food.

Rose frowned. “I should be able to walk into the garden no problem, but if we both walked through then-”

“-Donna would immediately know what we were up to,” the Doctor finished, looking thoughtful as he took another mouthful of tea and pondered their options. “Listen, I think it’s all a bit too risky. Even if we somehow managed to get past her, it’s her birthday, and she told me specifically the TARDIS was out of bounds today – unless there was an emergency.”

“She always says that, though - and this… sort of…is an emergency?” Rose tried to plea, flexing her hands with a strained smile.

The Doctor placed his now empty mug on the coffee table and turned to Rose, his expression solemn, and one that clearly meant no.

“I’m sorry, Rose. I won’t risk you getting into trouble.”

Definitely a no.

Rose sighed. Then, she curved her mouth downwards, stuck out her bottom lip, and glared straight at the Doctor.

“What are you doing?” he questioned, even though he knew exactly what she was doing.

Rose didn’t reply. She sighed again, for the dramatic effect.

“Now listen, I told you, it’s too risky,” he replied airily.

The pout didn’t faulter.

“That won’t work on me, y’know, so you might as well stop now.”

Still, the pout remained.

The Doctor’s nose twitched. He patted his knees a couple of times, trying his hardest to focus on something else to ignore Rose’s silent plea – didn’t Donna ask him to help with the sandwiches? Oh! There was a gift for Donna he needed to wrap upstairs, wasn’t there?

Gift… he hadn’t even asked Rose what her particularly special gift was. Was it something Donna had lost? It dangerously fuelled his curiosity, and he risked a glance over at the teenager again, who was still pouting in his direction.

The Doctor's mouth opened and closed a couple of times, now rocking gently back and forth as he tried to resist the temptation, but it grew harder as each second ticked by.

"Please, Uncle Spaceman?" Rose said quietly.

"Oh no, don't do that... this isn't... I-I can't..." he stuttered, yielding no result.

How could he say no to her? Clearly, the gift was something really special if her persistence was anything to go by. Something more than a simple gift... it seemed so very special. If it would make Donna happy, then what did he have to lose? Rose would be careful, like she always was. She always listened to him, never wandered off.

The Doctor's entire posture suddenly sagged, and his eyes closed.

There was nobody who could pull his leg like his niece.

Rose stopped pouting, holding her breath with a trepid tilt of the head.

After a moment of defeated silence, the Doctor reopened his eyes and finally spoke. “Fine, I’ll take you,” he said, ignoring the glee of excitement out of the corner of his eye, “but we’re both taking the blame this time, you hear?” he added with a point of his finger, even if he would be the first to defend her if it came down to it.

“Deal,” Rose replied quickly, still engrossed in her victory, but relieved and elated she was getting the chance to go through with her plan. Oh, she couldn’t wait to see the look on her Mum’s face.

A smirk crossed the Doctor’s lips, unintentionally feeling very proud of Rose’s persistence. Would he regret this all later? Probably. Would it help knowing Rose was happy? Absolutely.

“You’ve turned me into a soft touch,” the Doctor mumbled as he stood from the sofa, stretching out his back to release the knots from his period of sitting.

“You’ve always been a soft touch,” Rose replied with a smirk.

“Oi - don’t push it. I might be somewhat retired but I'm still the Lord of Time,” the Doctor jibbed back, “but if it’s important to you, then it’s important to me, no matter how much it will sting when we get back.”

Rose chuckled. “So, wait… we’re banned from going into the TARDIS, our route to said TARDIS is blocked but I can go out into the garden without raising suspicion… how are you going to get to the TARDIS without going through Mum? Last time we snuck away only Great-Grandad was home, and he never tells on us anyway,” she pondered, “we’ll both have to go through the kitchen one way or another.”

There was no direct access to the back garden other than through the kitchen, nor was there any way to reach the blue box by leaving the house through the front door. There was, however, a little secret the Doctor had kept to himself, in case of emergency.

“Oh, don’t you worry yourself. You’re looking at the man who snuck out of the biggest high-security prison in the Silfrax Galaxy – twice. In one week.”

Rose looked fairly impressed, but the Doctor found it was getting harder and harder to impress the teenager as time went on. There was only so many times he could tell a story about escaping a fleet of Daleks before it grew a little repetitive.

“Tough crowd,” the Doctor uttered, straightening his tartan waistcoat with a sniff, “I’ll use the cellar window, easily done.”

“Wait, you use the cellar window to escape!?” Rose gawped.

“Rose Temple-Noble, how dare you insinuate such a thing. I used it once a couple of weeks after I arrived to get away from Sylvia and her book club,” the Doctor explained, “I do love my dear old mother-in-law, but there’s only so much you can take of them misquoting Charles Dickens. I did offer to take her and the other members to meet him, but she refused… so, I snuck out the window to go for a walk, instead. Haven’t used it since.”

This time, Rose did look impressed.

“Right then… meet you by the TARDIS in three minutes?”

Once Rose strolled calmly into the kitchen, complimented her Gran on the very well-presented quiche and offered to help her Mum with the sandwiches – which she knew would be met with a no since nobody could ever tamper with her mother’s sandwiches – she expertly explained she was going to lock up her crafting shed and wouldn’t be too long.

Neither Donna nor Sylvia noticed the Time Lord slipping through the cellar door in the hallway.

“Don’t close those patio doors or we’ll lose the breeze!” Sylvia reminded her granddaughter, who smiled and nodded, trying to edge her way towards the open doors. Donna, who’s hair was wrapped in curlers, suddenly looked a little curious as she added more egg to a tray of sandwiches.

“Where’s your uncle, anyway? He said he was finishing up those balloons an hour ago and that was the last I saw him,” Donna asked.

“Oh, he’s just… he’s just, tinkering! Yeah, tinkering… with the balloons. Balloon tinkering,” Rose replied, much less convincingly than she would have liked. It was a miracle her mother bought it.

“Fair enough – remember, no sneaking off in that blue box, the pair of you. It’s my birthday, I don’t want Sontarans storming the garden, or Ood showing up to cater for the party,” Donna warned, pointing a fork in Rose’s direction, but it was with a motherly smile.

Rose nodded, despite the sudden urge to stop what she was doing and listen to her Mum. Yes, this would make her mad… but it would be so incredibly worth it. “Yes, I know… I’ll be back soon.”

Instead of turning left to go to her crafting shed, Rose made sure neither Donna or Sylvia were looking before she quickly ducked right, under the kitchen window and sneaking around the bushes. Once in the clear, Rose quickly raced over to the blue box basking in the late-afternoon sunshine with a victorious shine in her eyes, the rest of the garden empty.

The Doctor was nowhere to be seen, so Rose leaned against the TARDIS and decided to wait for her uncle to appear.

Rose waited.

And waited.

Then, just to fuel her nerves even further, she waited some more.

Worryingly tapping her foot, the anxious teenager tried to peak around the greenery and flowers. The cellar window was positioned in a clearing surrounded by the bushes her Great-Grandfather loved to take care of, with stone steps leading down to some tables and chairs. There was no sign of her uncle emerging from that clearing.

“Come on, Mum’s going to catch us,” Rose uttered under her breath with a trepid glance at the open patio doors.

“Pst – Rose!”

An urgent, quiet whisper from behind the bushes. Rose perked up at the sound of the Doctors voice.

“What is it?!” Rose replied in a hushed whisper.

“Come here!” came the reply.

“Why?”

“Just come here!”

Rolling her eyes with a frustrated sigh, Rose carefully made her way towards the clearing of bushes, sneaking down the steps while shooting worried stares at the doors. At least the bushes would keep them hidden while in that area – for now.

“Doctor, we need to go, before Mum see-”

Rose was suddenly face to face with the Doctor – or rather, face to face with half of him. He was poking out from the cellar window, evidently agitated with his hands pressed against the wall, his face contorted into a grimace.

“What the hell are you doing?!” she asked.

The Doctor stopped his pushing and glanced up at his niece.

“What does it look like I’m doing?!”

“Oi, don’t get snappy with me, Mum won't like that,” Rose replied, folding her arms while glancing to make sure Donna hadn’t spotted them.

“Well I don't think she'll like any of this if she finds out what we’re doing – now help get me out of here!” the Doctor reiterated, his strained noises making the already anxious teenager even more nervous.

“Just… I dunno, shimmy your through?” Rose replied, somewhat confused.

“Shimmy!? Don’t you think I’ve tried that?” the Doctor replied in another snap, still struggling with the window to prove his point, “See? I can’t!”

“Well, why not?”

The Doctor’s expression fell into a serious but embarrassed glare. He stopped his efforts with a sigh, his diverted gaze looking everywhere but Rose.

“I can’t move,” he replied, in the quietest, most meek tone, like he’d just been caught by Donna with his hand in the cookie jar.

“Say again?” Rose asked.

“I can’t move,” the Doctor repeated. Still far too quiet for Rose to hear.

“Louder for the people in the back, please?” Rose retorted exasperatedly, putting a hand to her ear – completely forgetting they were supposed to be escaping silently.

“I can’t move!” the Doctor finally exclaimed - much too loud, as footsteps suddenly echoed just inside the patio doors. Rose gasped and quickly ducked down beside the Doctor, who grew as stiff as a board.

Donna’s mop of pinned-up ginger hair was visible even through the leaves and blossoming flowers as her head poked out into the garden.

Rose held her breath. The Doctor held his breath, his slightly shaking frame making the spikes of his hair tremble.

“Strange, thought I heard a noise,” Donna shrugged, and with that, she turned away and was gone.

After the pair released their held in breaths, Rose turned her attention back to the Doctor, who was now gritting his teeth.

“Are you saying you’re stuck?” Rose whispered, glancing at the cellar window. Now she was closer, it did look rather tight, with the Time Lord squeezed into it uncomfortably – it was a small window, just big enough for a skinny alien to navigate. Or rather, had been big enough. “How can you be stuck?”

“Keep your voice down!” the Doctor quipped, eyebrows tensed as he glared at his niece, who shot him a very disapproving look.

“Oi! I am! It’s you that’s stressing!” Rose replied while waving her hands at him, “I thought you said you’d used this window before?”

“Yeah, well, that was a five months ago,” the Doctor replied, attempting to tug himself forwards again, but with no result, “clearly, I’ve been enjoying retirement a little too much,” he added through clenched teeth.

Rose watched as he tugged again, realising what her uncle meant – he strained, seemingly slipping through, but at such a slow pace they’d be there for all the party guests to see if he didn’t hurry.

“Come on, you can do it,” Rose encouraged.

It was no wonder his suits had been feeling slightly tighter recently. Five months of ‘three meals a day, Spaceman’ and ‘look, here’s a packet of your favourite biscuits’... and how could he forget lovely little old Mrs Fredrick from next door who always popped around with the odd pie or batch of brownies?

Another few precious seconds ticked by, and the Doctor eventually slumped in defeat, out of breath and still very much caught in the window.

“This is not good,” he admitted, “well, worse than not good, actually… very bad, more like.”

“Okay, okay, chill, we can fix this,” Rose tried to reassure him despite her growing concern. “You just need to twist around a little bit, shift your weight, I’m sure you’ll pop right out.”

The Doctor tried that. A little more progress… which only resulted in more tightness. Eventually, he stopped again, long fingers clutching the soft grass as he tried to catch his breath.

By now, guilt was starting to bubble into Rose’s chest – she’d caused this. If they were caught now, she dreaded to think what her mother would say.

“Listen, let’s just call this whole thing off, I’m not having you hurt yourself because I wanted to-” Rose began, but the Doctor quickly cut her off.

“There is absolutely no way we’re giving up now – just because I’m having a little bit of trouble with this window, does not equal defeat, right?” the Doctor said and he gave Rose his most reassuring smile, despite his predicament.

Rose instantly felt more at ease and she smiled back.

“A little bit of trouble?” Rose questioned, finding humour among the urgency, but also incredibly grateful to the Doctor for not giving in so easily.

“Hey - you try saying no to lovely old Mrs Fredrick when she’s stood at the front door holding an apple pie that she made ‘just for you’,” the Doctor retorted.

It was true… Rose wondered how anyone could say no to that sweet old lady when she stood in her little flowery oven mitts with her baked goods.

“Okay, don't worry, we can do this – I have an idea,” Rose confidently told the Doctor and determinedly got to her feet, holding out both her hands after sparing a glance to the patio doors to check for any sign of her mother. “Give me your hands.”

The Doctor, who admittedly was extremely eager to be free from the window to continue helping his niece, didn’t hesitate to reach up to grasp her outstretched hands. It was an awkward position for his long, thin body, but this was their last chance.

“If your Mum saw this I think she’d laugh rather than get mad,” the Doctor commented.

“Let’s not test the waters – ready?”

And with that, Rose leaned back and began pulling.

They were both quietly delighted when the Doctor began to move immediately, quicker than his lone efforts, but it was still precariously tight for the poor Time Lord.

Suddenly, footsteps echoed from the patio door.

As if playing musical statues, Rose and the Doctor froze with their hands still clutched together, the Doctor awkwardly stretched with Rose leaning back on her feet, her curly hair swaying in the light breeze.

Donna appeared again and she held out a hand, evaluating the settling beams of the sun.

“Still warm out, Mum - fancy finishing those cocktails in the fridge before we start decorating? I’ll go grab some ice from the cellar, we’ve ran out up here. And I need to find Spaceman, wherever he is, I need help with the rest of these sandwiches,” Donna said as she pulled back her hand from the sun beam she’d been testing and strolled inside.

Rose was sure she’d never seen such panic overtake anyone’s expression as quickly as it overcame the Doctors.

“Rose Temple-Noble, get me out of this window, now.”

“On it.”

Rose resumed her efforts with an added franticness, while the Doctor tried to wriggle the rest of his trapped waist through the window.

After a tense few seconds, he eventually slid through, and Rose gently placed his hands down onto the grass. He was clearly winded from the effort and his arms shook as he tried to lift himself up.

“OI!”

Donna had been expecting to go to the spare freezer for the ice without a care in the world – oh, she loved those cocktails from Lidl.

What she hadn’t been expecting was the sight of her best friend’s lanky legs dangling inside the cellar window.

“What the hell is going on?!” She yelled as she began to march down the old wooden stairs, completely bewildered at the sight.

Outside, Rose practically flung herself at her uncle, helping to heave his exhausted form forwards enough to get him moving. They were both in fight or flight and, in that moment, they both chose flight - no matter the consequences.

Inside, Donna was fast approaching the flailing tartan legs.

“Get your skinny backside back in this house!”

“Come on, come on!” Rose urged the Doctor.

“Is that you Rose? Oh, just you both wait until I-”

Donna reached out to grab one of the disappearing Converse but missed by a mere centimetre as the Doctor’s shoes finally disappeared through the window.

In the time it took her to recover from the near miss and look through the glass, she saw the retreating figures of the Doctor and Rose running through the bushes.

And by the time she’d raced back upstairs and past a very confused Sylvia holding a tray of slightly overcooked sausage rolls, Donna knew it was much too late.

“You have ten seconds to explain yourself – go.”

Stood before a very irritated Donna Noble in the back garden, the Doctor and Rose glanced at each other.

For Donna, it had only been two minutes since she’d discovered the Doctor’s dangling legs in the cellar. Two minutes had been enough for her to piece together a familiar puzzle, and so she'd angrily removed the curling blocks from her hair and stood in the back garden, waiting for the familiar whirrs of the TARDIS returning.

“Donna, we’ve only been gone for two minutes, and in my defence-” the Doctor began explaining but was quickly shushed by Donna.

“Not now, Spaceman – Rose, what do you have to say for yourself?”

The Doctor promptly closed his mouth and placed his hands behind his back.

Ah, family…

“Mum, I know this looks bad, but please, don’t be mad, I really wanted to-”

“To what? Fly off to some dangerous alien planet - nearly fall into a black hole? I told both of you I didn’t want anyone jaunting off on my birthday, and yet look where we are!” Donna stated, holding out her arms. Despite the anger she’d already prepared for, Rose stepped forwards with both hands secured behind her back, holding the very item she hoped would be able to save both herself and the Doctor from a grounding.

“Mum, please listen – this was all my idea, and no, we didn’t go flying off looking for trouble. I-… I wanted to get you something, for your birthday.”

Donna’s expression softened.

“Wait – you snuck off to get me a present?” Donna replied, not excusing it, but it was far from what she had expected to hear.

At Rose’s nod, Donna softened even more.

“Rose, darling, you know I’m always telling you not to make a fuss – the Doctor is supposed to be resting, not flying you around time and space to go shopping. This is the third time in two months you two have gone flying off together without me knowing… I don’t ground you both to be mean, I do it because I worry about you. Both of you.”

The Doctor looked a little meek as Donna shot him a glare to make sure he knew the impact of her words. He diverted his gaze downwards, as Rose took another defiant step forwards.

“But if I told you where we were going you would have said no, and it would have ruined the surprise, so…”

Donna’s hard stare returned, but she was no longer furious. “Maybe if you’d asked me first, I would have said yes, but instead, you had your uncle climbing through our cellar window? You both lied to me - on my birthday, no less.”

The Doctor didn’t just see but could physically sense the excitement dripping away from Rose’s posture and he couldn’t stay quiet any longer.

Domestics never used to be his thing. Once over, he would have run away and hid from a confrontation of this very nature. Now, it was time to defend his niece.

“Donna, it’s really not her fault – I agreed to do it, for her,” he explained, “and I really think you should look at what she’s gotten you.”

Donna sighed. Even she could see her daughter’s excitement dwindling… her kind, beautiful, wonderful daughter, no less.

“Okay, fine,” Donna gave in with a small smile, and Rose shot the Doctor a thankful smile before she revealed the object from behind her back, holding it out for her Mum to take.

This was it.

“Happy Birthday, Mum.” Rose smiled.

Donna reached out and gently took the gift from Rose.

It was a crumpled piece of paper.

“Oh… what’s this?” Donna questioned.

“Remember last year when we were walking through the park and you pulled out your purse, but it was really windy, and everything flew out? Receipts, money…” Rose trailed off.

It took a moment, but Donna soon recalled the event Rose described.

“Yeah, it was that cheap old purse from Primark, fell to bits, didn’t it… and I lost…”

This time, Donna’s voice trailed off. She immediately began to unfold the crumpled paper, which was dirty, but still intact. When the paper finally opened, Donna felt her throat begin to tighten, her eyes began to burn.

“You lost the last thing Grandad ever wrote down for you.”

Donna held the paper like it was made of crystal… like it was the most precious thing in the entire Universe.

On the paper, in Geoff’s handwriting, the words read:

You’ll do amazing things, my girl. Love, Dad.

“You never told me, but I knew after Dad said you’d lost it that day,” Rose explained, “I remember I watched it fly away into bush and I didn’t say anything, because I thought it was just a random bit of paper - not anything important. So, now you have it back.”

Donna sniffed, reaching up to wipe the tears threatening to fall from her eyes. Never would she have thought she’d be holding this again.

“So… y-you went back in time to pick it up?” Donna asked, shakily.

Rose nodded.

“The Doctor took us to the exact day, a few minutes after we’d originally left the park. I was worried it might have blown away, but it was there, in that same bush. No trips to Mars, no sneaking off to the 1800’s, no-”

Rose was interrupted by her mother’s tight embrace.

“You don’t have to say anymore, sweetheart,” Donna said, still clutching the paper in her hand, “I forgive you for sneaking off. I’m so sorry for being so mad,” Donna apologised, holding onto her daughters curls tightly. "Thank you so much."

Rose lifted her arms and hugged her Mum back, smiling with an overwhelming sense of accomplishment.

“Go and show your Gran, she’ll be just as surprised as me,” Donna suggested, pulling back from the hug to cup her daughters face. “And I mean it this time when I say no more sneaking away. This-” she placed the paper into Rose’s hand, “was more than I ever could have asked for.”

Before Rose even considered making her way back to the house, she turned to run up to the Doctor and wrapped her arms around him tightly. The Time Lord, having stood in absolute silence with a slight wetness in his eyes, quickly returned Rose’s embrace.

“Thank you,” Rose said.

The Doctor didn’t say anything. Instead, he pulled back and gave her a wink. A wink that said everything he needed it to.

The garden was silent once more as Donna watched her daughter retreat into house, elated at the surprise gift and kindness of the gesture.

Suddenly, the silence was broken.

“Am I forgiven?”

Donna closed her eyes and shook her head – but the faintest of humorous smiles sat on her thinned lips.

“I’m still debating on that,” Donna stated, turning to face the Doctor, “you did promise me you wouldn’t fly off under any circumstances today.”

“Oh, come on,” The Doctor replied, “when she told me her idea, I couldn’t say no… it touched both my hearts, I’ll have you know. She’s as thoughtful and kind as her mother.”

“Oh no you don’t, Brainbox, flattery will get you nowhere,” Donna jibbed, but she was smiling as the Doctor approached.

“You know I don’t mind you taking her on the odd trip here and there, but when I said I worry, I mean it… if something happened to you while you were out, what would happen to Rose?”

“I wouldn’t let anything like that happen, Donna… HADS, remember?”

“Yeah, well, the HADS are one thing… but alien potatoes pointing rifles at my daughter would be another, just to name one example.”

“Again,” the Doctor said, “wouldn’t let it happen. I try not to go looking for trouble as much, these days.”

The look on Donna’s face grew sharper and he realised he couldn’t be so nonchalant.

“Okay… I’m sorry.”

Donna sighed. “I know you are,” she replied, nudging the Doctor in the side with her arm, “you just can’t resist that niece of yours, can you?”

Of course he couldn’t. She was his world now… they all were.

“Nope,” he answered, popping the ‘p’.

Donna slinked an arm around the Doctor’s waist, and he in turn wrapped an arm around her shoulders. When Donna squeezed him however, he unintentionally winced and let go.

Surprised, Donna immediately loosened her own grip.

“Spaceman? You alright?”

The Doctor quickly recovered from the sudden stinging sensation and shook his head. “Oh… don’t worry, it’s nothing. Just a little strain from… well, never mind. Moving on - still need help with the sandwiches?”

“Strain from what?” Donna asked, concerned enough to ignore his attempt at diverting the conversation.

“Nothing, it’s honestly nothing, Donna, I promise,” the Doctor sniffed.

“Doctor, tell me,”

“It’s nothing!”

That clearly meant it was something.

“Wait a minute…” Donna declared, her concern losing its edge, but not entirely, “that’s right, I remember now - you were hanging halfway out of that cellar window when I caught you.”

The Doctor’s cheeks were suddenly the same shade as the pink flowers in the nearest plant pot. “You mean nearly caught me,” he corrected her, quietly.

Donna inhaled. "Okay, nearly caught you...any reason why?"

"No."

“Aw… did the retired Time Lord have a little trouble escaping through a window?”

“What? Nah…” the Doctor pied off, a little too quickly, “walk in the park, that was. Just a bit of an awkward angle. Nothing I couldn’t handle.”

Donna reached out and prodded the Doctor in the middle – where her finger would have once met complete flatness, it instead sunk into a small mound of softness which filled out the once loose shirt. When the Doctor instantly swatted her hand away with a grimace, she knew.

She knew her best friend, his expressions, his body language... that sadness lingering behind his eyes.

“Oh, Spaceman,” she sighed while gazing up into those round brown eyes. The Doctor noticed and raised his eyebrows.

“What?” he uttered.

Donna gently moved her hands to the front of the Doctor’s stomach, between his open waistcoat.

“What are you doing?” the Doctor asked, growing stiff again at the prospect of his sore skin being jabbed, but he was surprised to feel a gentle touch, Donna’s palms resting on his tiny belly.

“Nothing, just… I’ve noticed these past few weeks how much healthier you’re looking. More there.”

More there? The Doctor raised an eyebrow.

“But… I was there, here, wherever, before, wasn’t I?” the Doctor said in a high-pitched squeak.

“You were, but not like this,” Donna replied, thinking back to watching the two Doctors fighting for the fate of humanity with a ball – the new Doctor had exuded so much energy and youth… her Doctor, this Doctor, had looked pale, thin, exhausted. “I was so worried about you, all that time leading up to that bloody game of catch. You were burned out. Thin as a pin, remember?”

“That’s the second time I’ve heard that today,” the Doctor replied.

“Yeah well,” Donna began, “seeing you like this, with a bit of meat on your bones and your face looking less gaunt and sunken in… it’s on par with Rose’s surprise gift. I don’t want fancy watches or spa days for my birthday. I want my best friend to be healthy… that is such a wonderful gift. And I've never been happier to realise you had trouble squeezing out of a window.”

The Doctor was silent. Donna’s sincerity was finally beginning to sink in as he opened his mouth to speak, but closed it when no words came out.

Yes, he had days he struggled… oh, sometimes he could scream and cry into any open abyss. Wounds would flare, his mind would play tricks on him, or he’d spot someone on the street resembling Amy, Clara, or Bill… and he’d want to run. This extra weight... he hadn't realised it, but the doubts had crept up.

But Donna. She kept him grounded. His family kept him grounded – and hearing such soft, sweet words made him feel better about ever getting caught in that bloody window.

“I only want what’s best for you, Spaceman… and this,” Donna said, rubbing her hand softly over the Doctors tighter shirt, “tells me we must be doing something right.”

Tears were blurring his vision now. His throat felt constricted, and his lower lip wobbled.

“You could never do wrong by me. Any of you,” he replied, in the quietest, most fragile whimper.

Donna always expected to have a little cry on her birthday, every year – but now, for the second time that afternoon, she wanted to cry again and let her tears build.

“Come here, you big old softie,” she said, moving her hands to pull the Doctor firmly into a hug. He chuckled through his own tears and fell into Donna’s arms, his head tucking against her shoulder – and she held him. Firmly but softly. Quietly, but with the odd sniff from both of them.

“And for the record, Spaceman – yes, I do forgive you.”

The Doctor’s wobbling lip crept into a smile.

"Happy birthday, Donna Noble."

#just figured I’d post the actual thing here!!#Donna’s dad gets a mention for the feels #but this is mainly uncle and neice silliness #fourteenth doctor #donna noble #rose noble #doctor who #uncle doctor

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hanleiacelebration · 1 day

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Han/Leia Appreciation Week 2024

WE'RE BACK, BABY! "Wait, what's happening, wasn't this in August??" you might wonder. Based on your feedback, we decided to host this and (probably) future editions of Han/Leia Appreciation Week earlier in the year. July seemed like the better choice, given that it's a vacation period in both hemispheres!

This year we're also giving you the prompts over a month in advance, so you have plenty of time to plan and create!

Han/Leia Appreciation Week was an event originally hosted at @han-leia-solo between 2016-2019, but for the past three years, we've taken up the mantle here at @hanleiacelebration 😊

💖 How does Han/Leia Appreciation Week work?

The event will run from July 14th to July 20th, and there will be two different prompts each day that creators can fulfill with: fanfic, fanart, gifsets, graphics, fanvids, headcanons, crafts, playlists, rec lists. You’re encouraged to tag your posts with #hanleiaweek2024 so we can reblog them! After the week is over, we��ll share a masterlist with links to the works.

You can show your appreciation in many ways; however, please keep in mind that it has to be a creation of yours of some sort, e.g. don’t repost other people’s fanart, gifs, or unedited pictures. Rec lists should include a link to the original source both for fanfic and fanart (more on this after the cut).

🎆 The prompts

Sunday 7/14: Tradition / Ceremony

Monday 7/15: Braids & Bloodstripes (hair or clothing) / Home planet

Tuesday 7/16: AU / Canon divergence

Wednesday 7/17: Force / Belief

Thursday 7/18: Favorite scene / Favorite quote

Friday 7/19: Meeting / Escape

Saturday 7/20: Free day!

You can use only one of the daily prompts, combine both, reinterpret them, or skip the day if you can’t think of anything. If you’re not able to post on the same day for a prompt, you’re still encouraged to share it through the week—just don’t post works for a certain prompt before the day corresponding to that prompt.

💠 💠 💠

FAQs and Rules under the cut - please read!

💕 Can I post my work to another site and share the link on Tumblr?

Yes! This is a good option for people who might want to create explicit art that could be taken down on Tumblr, write a long fic or multichapter, or make videos or playlists.

💕 Does it have to be a new creation? Can I finish and post a WIP?

It has to be something that has never been posted anywhere else before, so finishing and sharing a WIP is okay! If it doesn’t fit any of the prompts, you can share it on Free Day.

💕 Is this event open to all ratings?

Yes! Just remember to use a “Read more” cut if you’re posting the whole work on Tumblr, and to add a note at the top if your work is rated Mature or Explicit, as well as if it has any major trigger warnings, so all folks can safely browse through the entries.

💕 Are there any length or quality requirements?

There’s no min. or max. length for fanfic or quality level for art, but please note that AI-generated works won’t be accepted. For gifsets, there’s a minimum of two gifs (that must be made by you!). For playlists, there’s a minimum of five songs. For rec lists of fic or fanart, there’s also a minimum of five recs. Some more questions you might have about rec lists:

- How do I share someone else’s art without posting a picture? You might post a thumbnail that crops a preview of the piece; if the piece has a title, you might use that; you might describe it; or you might say something like “this piece by [artist]”, and link to the source.

- What if I found a fanart on Google? Try to find the original source using reverse search image.

- What if I can’t still find it, can I just say “credit to the artist”? In that case, please just don’t share the piece.

- What if I know the artist but don’t have a link to the original source? Naming the artist and linking back to where you found it is okay, in that case.

💕 Can I write for canon/Legends and include other pairings?

All canons, time periods, headcanons and AUs are welcome, and you’re allowed to include side pairings, except for R*eylo. However, keep in mind that this is a Han/Leia appreciation week - at the risk of sounding repetitive, works should focus on appreciating Han and Leia’s relationship!

💕 What’s the time zone for the event?

Please don’t worry too much about time zones: when we say “day”, we always mean “whenever that day is for you in your part of the world”. IE: if it’s Monday for you, you can post your work for the Monday prompt.

💠 💠 💠

Do you have any other questions? Don’t hesitate to send us an ask or to message one of the mods: @lajulie24 @hanorganaas and @otterandterrier

We can’t wait to see what you all create!

#hanleia #hanleiaweek2024 #han x leia #han solo #leia organa #star wars events #swfandomevents #swedit #swcreators #mod post

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howlsofbloodhounds · 2 days

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If Delta got hurt badly during a fight, how do you think Color and Epic would react? Would Delta let them help if it was a bad injury?

I think Delta’s definitely the type of person who tries to hide his injuries to deal with by himself, and I also thinks he has a bit of a tendency to cry when he’s hurt once adrenaline washes away and he believes he’s alone, and he hates it. Hates being alone when he’s hurt too, but he justifies going off on his own because he has Beta with him, so he’s not alone.

All in all, Delta has a very big thing about not wanting to appear “weak,” like crying when hurt or being seen as unable to care for himself.

So if an injury is bad enough that he can’t pull himself up and hobble off somewhere to care for himself, he’s going to try and pretend he can. It will probably get even worse if Color is filled with kindness and kinda starts mother-henning for a moment, but thankfully Epic will be there to make jokes and tactfully keep Delta and Color calm and distracted.

Enough for Color to pull himself together, stabilize himself internally, and recognize that Delta is still alive and that henning over him isn’t helping. So he’ll keep himself calm, something he’s very good at, and then together he and Epic will begin moving Delta somewhere safe while attempting to keep him distracted.

Delta is unusually quiet and refusing to look anyone in the eye the entire time, and I can see him downplaying any pain he’s in or refusing to allow himself to be fed or accept help to go somewhere or to walk.

I feel he’s probably the type to refuse medication or painkillers—because he’s not in pain, obviously, just because he’s bleeding doesn’t mean he’s in pain—and would probably pretend to be asleep whenever someone enters his room to try and talk about something he doesn’t want to.

Beta keeps encouraging him to be brave, and Delta keeps taking it the wrong way, and the kiddo doesn’t realize there’s a miscommunication going on and they’re unintentionally encouraging his mindset of what it takes to be brave. And it’ll probably take Color, being filled with bravery, to inform Delta what Beta is trying to say; that accepting and allowing help when you need it is the brave thing to do.

How Epic and Color would react, would probably be attempting to hide their worry and concern from Delta because seeing such emotion in them, especially directed at him, makes Delta extremely uncomfortable and they both know it. So Epic will make his jokes and Color will make puns and bring Delta small things to tinker with while he helps heal his friend’s wounds slowly.

I think Delta would initially be the type to want to avoid showing any scars, viewing them as weakness, before he eventually comes to actually view them as signs of strength and power and survival.

And would probably ask Color to not heal all his wounds completely enough to avoid scarring—because if someone as strong as Color can walk around with that gaping head wound and scar across his chest, someone as strong as Epic can walk around with his scarred eye, Cross with scarred cheek and Killer with his exposed vulnerable SOUL and his entirely scarred body, then so can Delta!

So yeah, I think Delta is the type of guy to avoid appearing weak due to internalized ideas of what counts a men being “weak.”

But he also trusts and greatly respects his friends, as well as their strengths, and thus things he considers weak for himself to do, he has never once considered any of his friends as being weak for being hurt, scarred, or crying because they are all so very strong and brave for surviving and even thriving after everything they’ve all been through and he believes that deeply.

It’s more so that Delta has to figure out why the same doesn’t apply to himself, and he does also consider self growth a type of strength. He’s never been afraid of learning and growing, nor of confronting and listening to other people’s perspectives, which is something that is also Color’s biggest strengths.

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inkskinned · 1 year

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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.

capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.

now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.

and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.

and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.

and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".

it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"

#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility #but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion #that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone #i am an environmental educator #so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering #that people are going through #without doing my research and providing real ways to help #this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning #to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering #unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this #and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this #and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity #(complaining)#and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself #for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion #i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out #rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually.#my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free #is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY.#anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i #which is more than their CEOs can say

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cerise-on-top · 2 months

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Fluff alphabet for Nikolai? You’re one of the few who write for him and he’s my favorite character! Thank you so much!!

Hey there! Really? There aren't many people who write for him? That's such a shame, he's literally such a cool character and I adore him so much! Also, sorry I wrote this relatively late, but life got inbetween! But I wrote it now!

Fluff Alphabet for Nikolai

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

If it was up to him, then you’d be spending most of your days at home, within the safety of your walls. However, he loves doing whatever it is you love. You wanna go on a hike? You wanna have a boxing match with him? You wanna start a book club? Everything is game for him as long as you’re down for it, or make the suggestion. He is the adaptable sort of person who can do just about anything, especially if he gets to spend time with you and make you happy.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

The fact that you can stay with someone like him. Nikolai can be a very cocky man, he doesn’t particularly hide his occasional cruelty either. Sure, he is calm and collected as well, but he could see why you would want to leave him for someone more “proper”. You could likely get anyone in the world, and yet you decide to stay with him? He, who has killed the guilty and innocent alike? Who makes fun of the police whenever he can? It takes a special kind of crazy to want to be with someone like that. He can appreciate that.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Since one of his abilities is that he can stay calm under any circumstance, he would likely calmly talk to you, try to talk some sense into you as well. His voice can be rather calm too when he wants it to be. He’ll be your voice of reason while getting you away from whatever may be upsetting you, shielding you from onlookers. When you’re sad he’ll offer some advice, or maybe some distraction, whichever you say you need more at the moment. His advice is actually pretty solid too, he’s been through a lot and isn’t the youngest anymore either.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He has a small country house in the middle of nowhere in Russia, and he’d love living there with you. No more soldier or mercenary business, just you and him living together there, disturbed by no one aside from the occasional bird chirping here and there. He’d chop the wood while you make him a lovely pie. It doesn’t need to be fancy, as long as he gets to spend his future with you, winding down from all the adrenaline he gets on a regular basis, he’s happy.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Surprisingly, he tends to be more passive in the relationship. Though, he could go either way, but normally he just goes along with whatever it is you want. Sure, he can and will flirt with you occasionally, and if you’re on the more passive side then he’ll take charge, but other than that he just goes with the flow and lets you decide. If you can’t decide for whatever reason, then he will. But whatever makes you happiest he’ll do.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

He would never raise his voice at you. It’s very hard to anger him in general, he usually believes he’s in the right anyway, which he usually is. He’s calm and collected at all times, but will be more factual with everything when he’s starting to get annoyed with you. However, he easily forgives, regardless of whether you apologize or not. Your relationship isn’t so weak that something like this should make it falter.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Generally speaking, he knows what is and isn’t a given, and he knows to appreciate the things that aren’t. So yeah, he’s a pretty grateful man, even if it doesn’t seem like he’d show it very often. Nikolai knows that you cleaning the house from top to bottom, you cooking him a meal and giving him all the love he deserves and so much more isn’t a given, so he likes to show his gratitude through the small things, such as making sure to take in every new detail about you and always complimenting you, getting you the occasional gift as well. Something small but meaningful.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

He runs a PMC, so naturally there are things he can’t tell you about. However, he does believe that secrecy kills a relationship. If it’s something he can talk about, he will. Although he won’t go into detail about how he tortured that man, he will give you constructive criticism on how you can improve your knitting. He’s not one for lying, you deserve to know just about everything. Isn’t the most open about his past, though.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

I think Nikolai changed the most during his youth, so likely long before he met you. By the time you met he had already become who he is today. I don’t think anyone or anything could change him that significantly anymore, unless something truly terrible happened. He knows to take care of himself. However, I feel as though he could have become a bit kinder as a result of meeting you.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

He has faith in you to not leave him. Sure, he gets his spurts of jealousy, but he’s an adult, he doesn’t really act on it all that much. The only thing he really does when he’s jealous is talk over the other person to try and get your attention. He deals with it by either walking away from the situation or trying to get you away from the other person if he can. Again, he trusts you to not stray from him.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

He’s an attractive man, he likely had his fair share of lovers throughout his life, meaning he’s kissed plenty of times. When he was younger, he wasn’t a very good kisser, but he learned to adapt to the likes and dislikes of people. He could likely satisfy just about anyone with a few kisses these days. However, your first kiss with him would have beena a gentle one. He loved you even back then and was afraid of intimidating you. It was short, it was gentle, it was sweet.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

It wouldn’t be anything too fancy. He’d get you flowers, some chocolate or other sweets you like and invite you to a lake or something. And then he’d confess his feelings to you in a casual manner and ask you if you want to be with him. If you had said no then he would have made the offer of staying friends, at the very least.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

On the one hand, he does want to get married, on the other he doesn’t want to subject you to all the danger he’s usually part of. I think it would take him an eternity to propose and then it would be something simple as well. He’d test the waters by asking you if you want to marry him first, the ring comes later. Not much changes when you’re married to him. It still feels rather casual, but there’s always the fact you’re bound by your vows now. He’ll make it his goal to relive his honeymoon with you by going on a vacation with you every once in a while.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Милый/милая (my dear, darling), Любимый/любимая (loved one) and Солнышко (sunshine) are his go to. He’s not overly creative, but he sometimes also calls you by the names of cute little animals. Again, he’s more casual when it comes to things like this. More often than not, he calls you by your name. However, he’s not above using terms of endearment in your native language as well. He knows eight languages, and if yours isn’t among them then he’ll simply learn it.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

It’s not obvious at all when he’s in love. Sure, he likes to spend more time with you, but he won’t prioritize you when he’s busy. Sometimes he’ll give you an expensive gift. Knowing fully well you’ll want to repay him, he’ll simply ask for your company and that you’ll pay for the coffee on your little date. He knows how to get what he wants, and if he wants a small outing with you then he’ll get it. He doesn’t express his feelings freely at first, but he’ll call and text you more often to check up on you. That’s about it, he has his feelings in check otherwise.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

He doesn’t really brag about his relationship. He only really mentions you here and there in front of his closest friends. The entire world doesn’t need to know about you, so he keeps you to himself for the most part. However, he doesn’t really mind PDA all that much. Sure, he won’t really initiate it, but if you really wanna kiss him, then you can just go for it. Same if you just wanna cuddle up to him under his jacket. He doesn’t really mind that sort of thing.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

The fact that he can stay cool under any circumstance. Even when you’re out to get on his nerves like no other he can stay almost completely neutral. It’s really hard to piss him off, and even then he thinks more rationally than he normally would. He really doesn’t let his emotions get the better of him when he’s in a negative situation. You’ll never have him yell at you, only tell you facts. He can also argue for you in case someone is being mean to you.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He’s not really a romantic at heart. Sure, there’s the occasional gesture. He’ll gift you plushies, he’ll take you on a walk where you can watch the sunrise together, he’ll also cuddle you on the couch. However, he will also train you, he will take you to his shooting range, you will be sparring with him from time to time. Although it may not seem like much, that’s also another “romantic” aspect of his. He wants you to be able to defend yourself in an emergency, so he’ll make all of it seem more romantic than it really is. Will take you out for dinner, though. He can make some really mean pirozhki.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Naturally. He’s been through so much, he likely has some piece of advice for just about any situation. And even when he can’t give you any advice, he can help you out by either listening to your woes or by paying for whatever it is you need. He’ll always be there for you. Nikolai is a very loyal man once you’ve gotten on his good side. He would never let anyone he’s close with down, be it a friend or a lover. You can bet he’ll do just about anything for you.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

It entirely depends on what you want. He can honestly go either way. Sure, he might not want to spice his love life up by committing a murder with you every day, even if he could, but maybe going on a vacation every once in a while would be nice. While he may be down to try almost everything at least once, he doesn’t mind staying stagnant in that regard either. It’s really up to you. However, he will make you eat certain new foods he thinks you might like. He’s a great cook, his meals are always top notch.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He’s not a very empathetic person. Sure, he can usually tell what someone is thinking, but that doesn’t mean he cares enough about most people to feel what they’re feeling. Even in a relationship he isn’t the most emphatic person, he barely has any empathy for anyone. However, he can easily take notice of even the smallest of changes in your behavior and act accordingly. To him, life is more logical than anything else, not so much emotional. So he will act in accordance with the signs you give him and do whatever he has learned works for you. Either that or he will listen to his intuition. His intuition is great.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

His relationship with you is on par with the friendship he has with Price and Laswell. He knows that you can’t live off of love and air your entire life, so he keeps close contact with both of them as well. While you could not bribe him out of the relationship if you tried, he does sometimes think about cutting ties with you to keep you safe. He wouldn’t go through with it, but he does value a lot of things in life. Any relationship is important to him, whether it be romantic or platonic. So yeah, you wanting him to cut ties with Price or Laswell would immediately raise a red flag with him. He wouldn’t give up either of them either, please understand that.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

He runs so very hot. Out of all the main characters, he has the highest body temperature. Nikolai is very comfortable to cuddle with in winter. He doesn’t mind cuddling with you either, if that’s what you want. But just so you know, he’s a tall man and could likely wrap himself around you almost entirely. He’s also very strong, so he could make you feel very protected as well. That’s one of his favorite things to do, making you feel safe and secure. The more you melt into him, the more you trust him to protect you, the better. He’s a nightmare to cuddle with in summer, though.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

On his own accord he’s kind of like a cat. He prefers to watch you and be in the same room as you to show affection. Once he’s figured out your style of affection, he’ll act in accordance to that. You wanna cuddle? Sure. You wanna be together in the same room? Naturally. You wanna be mushy together and exchange loving words? Yeah, he can do that too, even if he isn’t the most emotional person. Generally speaking, he likes kissing and cuddling, but he doesn’t need to be all over you all the time. The occasional kiss and cuddle is alright, but too much skin contact has the potential to annoy him.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Since he knows that being distracted on the battlefield could lead to him never seeing you again, he tends to not think about you. However, once he has some downtime he likes to replay some of the moments he shared with you. The time you accidentally hurt yourself breaking a mug as he patched you up or when you fell asleep in his arms, he thinks about those moments more often than he’d like to admit. He doesn’t really keep a memento of you, you’re not even on his phone’s background, but he remembers you well. Your smiles, your tears, the way you’d hug him so tightly when he’d come home. He just thinks about you and those thoughts lull him to sleep.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he has killed for you several times already. To answer the question, yes. He’s killed for you, he’s broken the law several times for you. He runs his own PMC, he could technically go to war for you as well. And he would if someone were to take you away from him. He could likely destroy a small nation for you. While he won’t do it if you ask him to, if someone were to kidnap you, he would not hesitate to fight for you. Your safety is a priority of his, so he will do what he can to make sure you’re by his side, forever and always.

#cod #cod x reader #cod nikolai #cod nikolai x reader #I think about Nikolai more often than I'd like to admit #I like to think he gives great dad hugs #I like to think about Nikolai giving me a big hug and some advice and some reassuring words #he's an older man he knows what he's talking about #I usually think about him when I'm sad and it heals me almost every time #sometimes all you need are some encouraging words from an older man who won't prey on you #same goes for Graves actually. Price too #sometimes all you need is some praise from an older man who knows what he's talking about #not many men fit that criterion though. but being praised is nice still. like hell yeah I'm doing well #I feel like Nikolai would make for such a great father figure #I love my father but I'd also love to have Nikolai as my father in all honesty #I'm also glad people are finally sending in more characters again #writing about the same three characters all the time is kind of rough #but yeah keep the requests coming. I'll get to them eventually

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