#and also trauma and growth and complicated feelings about that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yuikomorii · 6 months

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Is it me or does Laito think Ayato and Yui are similar? I don’t mean it only in Ayato’s routes but in Laito’s ones it can be seen how he starts feeling disgusting when these two try to show that they care about him and so on. Sorry if I didn’t express myself correctly, I hope you got my point tho.

// That's right, given that Laito secretly envies purity, and both Ayato and Yui are the embodiment of it in his eyes, which triggers him.

Laito is a very complicated person… he has a hard time believing in genuine kindness, therefore he may find it repulsive.

There's a moment in Laito's LE route where Yui mentions that kindness was the reason of Ayato’s actions, but Laito was so close to genuinely vomit when he heard that.

Laito admits in the VERSUS CD that he envies how upright and pure Ayato is (first pic). While it’s true that he shouldn’t have overlooked Ayato’s trauma for centuries, I somewhat get why he had such a resentment against him. Of course, Ayato was not at fault for being that way, but I really doubt it's simple to accept that your brother is actually the person YOU wished to be.

Purity is seen as a perfect virtue, Ayato is even described by Rejet (second pic) as someone whose true face is represented by his pure heart. On the other hand, Laito is the polar opposite. He’s anything but pure and he hates that. He is aware that due to Cordelia corrupting his mindset, such a trait is unattainable.

As for Yui, even if all those bad things didn’t happen in the same timeline, it must still hurt suddenly being sent by your own father to a mansion full of vampires, who need to feed off you to survive. Yui's continued positivity and ability to see the good in everyone (even when not romancing them) in spite of these circumstances speaks volumes about how pure her heart is too.

In LE, Laito acknowledged that he projected his frustrations on both Ayato and Yui. Nevertheless, a part of him knew that the two of them would forgive him anyway because, well… that’s how Ayato and Yui are. They’re famous for forgiving and empathizing with those who have hurt them and nobody can change that.

I also really like the parallel they pulled in these scenes. It’s just so precious how both Ayato and Yui would accept Laito no matter what and that truly highlights their purity of heart.

Translations belong to: dialovers-translations on Tumblr

Laito's personal growth and realization that he matters and is not alone was one of the very few positive things of LE. I’m glad they decided to write about this aspect of Laito and Ayato’s relationship, as well as trying to make Yui understand Laito more and vice versa.

Unfortunately, they had to give him that questionable good ending, which essentially erased all the progress, BUT leaving that aside, the characters who are the most aware of each other’s true side are without a doubt Ayato and Laito.

#diabolik lovers #laito sakamaki #ayato sakamaki #yui komori #dialovers #admin

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mazzystar24 · 1 month

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Don’t mind me just thinking about how for the first time buck and Eddie are both in a good place mentally at the same time which would be the perfect time to make buddie canon

Like just from the first episode and all the interviews we already can see how Eddie has healed and grown so much and is in a much better place mentally, and buck breaking up with Natalia and going after what makes him feel good and rejecting things that don’t is something so huge for him because in the past he’s always been the one clinging onto anyone who shows him the slightest bit of love or attention no matter how many issues there are (and we know that this season he deals with his traumas and stuff too)

So if they do go canon this would be perfect because they’d have done the healing and growth separately so they can be secure and stable in themselves as individuals before they come together

S2- buck had just been ghosted by Abby and Eddie had all his stuff with Shannon and moving to LA

S3- ladder truck aftermath, lawsuit, fighting, Shannon’s death aftermath, tsunami, legit take your pick this season was ROUGH for these guys

S4- buck finding about Daniel and then eddie getting shot

S5- aftermath of the shooting, Eddie’s breakdown

S6- buck not being happy or secure in himself still, year of yes,sperm donor, lightening strike and coma dream (and all the undertones of suicidal ideation that comes with that)

Also I’m not at all saying the "You can't love anyone until you love yourself" cliche because I honestly do not believe it (actually my thoughts on it are more complicated but that’s a long explanation I’ll spare you the yapping ) but I will say that individual healing is very important to a good relationship, especially in quite extreme examples like this, I do also feel the need to mention that they did in fact love eachother through these things (platonic or romantic you decide) so that quote suck ass

#my fever brain just says stuff so literally just ignore me #I don’t even know if these are actual sentences anymore #pretty sure none of that made sense #911 #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #evan buck buckley #911 fox #911onfox #911 abc #buckley diaz family #911 spoilers #oliver stark #ryan guzman

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comradekatara · 1 month

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I believe the way Sokka deals with his trauma oscillates between; my feelings aren't important, and there is no way anyone else feels like this.

There is also a middle ground where 'I wish someone could hug me so I could break down' but also, the feeling of 'I don't want anuyone to seem me like that' rolling around in his mind, and thus leading to suppress everything that he feels and believing he is doing great even though he is not.

What, no im not projecting my trauma to poor characters. I just resonate with sokka a little!

ok rn the film studies professor who lives in my head is yelling CHARACTERS DONT HAVE FEELINGS. obviously fandom as a discursive mode operates under a very different analytical framework but like. you get it.

anyway i reject this premise altogether because i don’t think sokka would ever think about anything in terms of feelings. if he has an emotion he must then explain that emotion as a thinking action or opinion. for example, he doesn’t say to yue, “i feel attracted to you,” he says, “i think you’re beautiful.” and to him, every action can be classified either as logical or illogical. so katara stealing from pirates is illogical because the benefits (katara getting back a piece of her culture that was stolen and studying it to better learn waterbending) do not outweigh the costs (being chased down and executed by pirates), but toph pulling scams is dangerous yet ultimately logical because the benefits (having more money for food and resources) do outweigh the costs (possibly getting caught if they’re not careful). and of course sokka rationalizes his own illogical actions through faulty logical reasoning, such as “i must sacrifice myself at the boiling rock because it’s my responsibility to fix this situation that i caused or die trying.” his logic is sometimes flawed or biased (as all human subjectivity is), but it’s think “i think this and therefore i must do this” rather “i feel this and therefore i must do this,” which is how katara largely operates, as someone who is also far more in touch with her own emotions (a skill sokka lacks to a truly atrocious extent). sokka cannot locate his own emotions because he would first have to acknowledge that he has emotions, which to him is a completely abhorrent thought, even though of course he very clearly does.

sokka definitely doesn’t want anyone to see him break down or be vulnerable in any capacity (he’s only vulnerable in front of zuko because he doesn’t care about zuko and assumes that both he and zuko will die soon anyway), and he’s normally resistant to hugs except for with his dad (although in the finale he does join their group hug and then hugs piandao later, so yay for growth). but it’s true that he keeps his trauma so bottled up that he basically just completely represses it. forgets his mother’s face as a way to cope with his grief. and also in sokka’s mind he literally thinks he’s normal. he thinks that everyone else is a freak and thank god he’s the most normal one here. so it’s not even that he’s like “my feelings aren’t important,” he’s like “feelings aren’t important.” and it’s not that he thinks “no one else feels like this,” he thinks “thank god i don’t have to feel all those messy complicated emotions that other humans do because i know how to completely detach myself from my emotions. it’s awesome how being less human means being less vulnerable. there are no downsides to this logic and it is very healthy.” not realizing that it’s like. actually a very harmful coping mechanism, and also that if anyone is capable of dehumanizing themselves to the point of objectivity (highly doubtful), he certainly hasn’t. but like. try telling him that.

#salt-popcorn #asks #sokka #analysis #i love you insane cognitive dissonance freak boy

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mermaidlighthouse · 5 months

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Why I think Izzy’s death was actually necessary despite me being sad about losing my favorite* character…

So I am once again looking to reframe a moment/scene involving Izzy around Ed because as much as Izzy was his own character (with a wonderful redemption arc) his function in the narrative imo is as an extension of the Blackbeard persona and therefore Ed and his perception of himself

Ok so this is gonna be long but I think it’s necessary to frame this properly

Izzy and Ed’s relationship is one of misery loving company and instead of finding ways to legitimately pull each other up and heal from whatever brought you to that place it turns to one of toxicity where you either repress the trauma (Ed never telling anyone that he killed his father, that he feels like a monster) or express it in ways that only perpetuate the misery. At this point that constant cycle of misery is so familiar it can be difficult for the participants to recognize what they’re doing to themselves and each other and it’s difficult to not fall back into those patterns.

So while Izzy is making strides and having his arc, instead of saying to Ed maybe don’t go looking for darkness when you’re standing in the light, don’t look for trouble or problems that don’t exist just because that’s what you’ve come to expect he says maybe you’re just a mopey twat and there isn’t a fuckin storm, when Ed does apologize for his leg Izzy’s only response is fuck off.

They can’t communicate with each other effectively and it’s already caused issues. When Izzy tells Ed to listen to the feeling of throwing away the trappings of Blackbeard, Ed does but he has also been told by Izzy that Ed isn’t good enough so why would Stede want him now that he’s not gonna be Blackbeard. I think Izzy meant well and had the right sentiment but the fact is that the damage of what they do to each other has already been done. Izzy doesn’t just represent the devil on Ed’s shoulder, he’s the voice in his head telling him he’s worthless without Blackbeard.

So could the narrative have just said Izzy went off on his own or went with the crew in the end? imho no they couldn’t because in order to have a healthy relationship with Stede, and just to be a generally well adjusted person Ed needs to love himself and the constant knowledge that his self loathing can just pop up out of nowhere (something explicitly shown as an Izzy staple) won’t allow him that freedom. (I recognize this isn’t how self development/self esteem works irl but this is a dark comedy rom com just let some things be hand wavy.)

Sometimes the best way to help each other grow and be whole is to recognize that you need to let the other person go. That’s true for BOTH of them.

Izzy dying was the only way they could finally communicate honestly without the jibes and the looming Blackbeard of it all they could just talk to each other as family as people who love each other (this is not my ship and I have a serious issue with the lack of nuanced takes on love in this fandom but that’s a separate issue).

To give Izzy some grace here I would like to point out that his story can also be seen as one that tells the audience that toxic people in your life or people you have complicated relationships with are allowed to grow on their own and make positive changes for themselves BUT that does not mean you have to accept them back in your life, you are not required to give them space after they’ve wronged you. You can celebrate their growth but you don’t owe them anything. Ed can recognize that Izzy has changed but he was never going to fully excise Izzy from his life he’s too familiar and too much a darkness to hide in and it would have created more toxic situations. So yes Izzy had to die.

*I always mean favorite side character because my favorite character is EdStede/StedeEd. If you don’t love them, together and separately then you don’t love the show because this is their story

#yes I still cry whenever I watch this scene #I’m also masochistic enough that I added Du Gamla to my playlist #and I cry about that too #this may end up just being for me but I needed to get it out of my head #izzy hands #the new unicorn #edward teach #ed teach #blackbeard #stede bonnet #the gentleman pirate #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #ed x stede #our flag means death #ofmd season 2 #ofmd s2 #ofmd

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libelelle · 1 year

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OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER. my opinion on Silver is by no means the single correct one nor do i think it should be, do what you do idc. we're all here throwing him at a wall repeatedly for fun

Ok so. whats the point i wanted to make. oh yeah right

SILVER THE HEDGEHOG!!!! FUCK!!!!

his character is so interesting this is a character for sure. im screaming and crying etc etc. the unfortunate part is NO ONE GETS HIM. i see a lot of interpretations that cherry pick his personality and experiences and it just! isnt it! he is a complicated character!

trying to simplify him down to 🥺innocent soft boi🥺 doesn't work, not only cause you're ignoring his DEBUT GAME (NEVER FORGET HE TRIED KILLING SONIC) but also because you just disconnected him from his entire backstory and motivations. i see people making Silver into a "cinnamon roll" guy and it always makes me grimace because... do you know WHY he is clueless. do you know why he doesn't get things or is too trusting or this or that. its because he grew up in the apocalypse alone. he hasn't experienced anything normal or healthy in his entire life. and since these traits, which are used to make him into the innocent cinnamon roll, are a result of growing up in a very abnormal environment, are symptoms of having never been in social situations and never had a normal day-to-day life. this means you can't ignore the OTHER characteristics that result from it. by this i mean hes very independent, very stubborn and aggressively mean (i recommend watching any of Silvers interactions in the Rivals games. he is extremely confrontational and a very good example of the kind of behaviour i'm talking about). but since this doesn't fit the bill for the character that you want him to be, you remove the context. him being clueless has nothing to do with his background. hes anxious cause hes a smol bean, not because hes been drowning in responsibility and trauma for as long as hes been alive. hes kind because hes innocent, not because he chose to be despite it all

"but linnea! what about IDW! hes very innocent in that!" INCORRECT BUZZER. IDW is not the same. i'll admit, the writing isn't always what i want or expect for Silver, but there's something important for you to note here

Silver is ✨Recovering✨

from my perspective at least. what i see is Silver, who has actively been working together with other people for MONTHS. he has friends, a support net, as well as hobbies. these are things he didn't have before, and being with these people, in both calm and hard times, helped him. So what we are seeing isn't the trauma responses, we're seeing the result of being acclimatized into a healthier and safer position. that's why there's a change in behaviour. this doesn't mean hes a soft boy now. AGAIN hes complicated. be careful not to boil him down to a single trait. in IDW we still see moments where he experiences difficulties because of his past. examples include when he met Whisper, Failed Social Interaction and said this:

he struggles with boundaries! of course he does! he's still getting the hang of being around people

then also recently when he came to help Sonic in 58:

he is struggling!! with nothing to focus on! his default is fight fight save the future fight!! he's not used to normal life and that makes him anxious and frustrated, unable to focus on things he cares about, as we see in the future growth comic in the 2022 annual

there are likely more examples but idc. need to finish this post. continuing, Silver is complicated, meaning that even when he is aggressive and tunnel visioning on a task, he has more going on. one thing i fucking lovee LOVE love about Silver is that he has hope. fuck if i were him i think i'd have given up. THOSE horrors? every day? no thanks

Silver feels anguish and frustration and fear. this being said even at his angstiest moments he has hope. you cannot look me in the eye and tell me that Silver fought through every horrible disaster, coming back to a newly devastated world every time and decided to continue with no hope for a better future. he is determined and he has hope, even if he has to fight tooth and nail for it. Usually when i think about Silver and his odd optimism, i go back to '06, when he's having his moral crisis over killing sonic.

"To kill someone to save the world... is that really the right thing to do?"

it would've been understandable if he decided it was the right thing to do, even if sonic was someone who was kind and loved, because that's just how bad the world is. maybe its just me, but the way this thought broke through in spite of his bull headed focus on destroying the iblis trigger speaks to me about his nature as a person. even coming from the bleak world he came from and even with the tunnel vision he had, he still considered this one persons life to be important too.

he is, at heart, a very gentle and kind person. he is, at heart, someone who is strong and who wants to help others. a version of Silver that is sad all the time, unable to see the good in the world (a phenomena i don't see much of thankfully) isn't true to Silver as a character because its missing that core trait to his character, that he wants to help because he cares.

Silver can't be one or the other. one way ignores his background and his trauma, which leaves out important parts of his personality, the other just abandons a very integral part of who he is.

the point really is to say that (slaps roof of Silver) this bad boy can fit so much layers!

#if i got it wrong you are welcoming to blast me with your psychic waves #if you aren't psychic though you have to be niceys though #AGAIN. im not trying to dictate anyones interpretations of him. the world is a beautiful place and your perspective likely has something #i didnt consider. characters are great in that theyre meant to be interpreted.#anyways 3 am rapidly approaches. time to eep #analysis #silver the hedgehog #long post #talk tag

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running-with-the-feels · 4 months

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I have returned! With Liu Kang headcanons in tow! Also, this is reallyyy long so no pressure to give an in-depth response.

Liu Kang was born in a small village in Henan Province, China. Due to the small size of the village, home births were common with the only doctor being the local healer. His mother experienced complications while birthing him and ended up dying, leaving his father to raise him alone. His parents had already been struggling with poverty before but now that his mother was gone his father had less time to work. Forcing him to choose between work or raising his son, his father chose to care for him.

Kang’s father was a kind man, the kind to give the clothes off his own back away even if he needed them more. He taught him everything he knew. How to forge and prepare food, how to read and write, the best way to clean, how to fix problems around the house. Have a leak? Don’t know if this mushroom is edible? Liu Kang can help! While he knows the basics of how to do these things he is far from a professional.

Eventually, this caught up to him as he had gotten food poisoning from the rotten food, having given the fresh food to Kang. He died when Kang was six. He buried his father next to his mother in the backyard with a wooden stake as a gravestone.

He lived alone for a little over a year before a Shaolin monk passing through town saw no one cared for him and asked if he wanted to come to the monastery. After some convincing (a promise and deal with the village that his home wouldn’t be touched) he agreed.

Kung Lao is a year older than him, being 8 while Kang was 7 when they met. Lao was ecstatic to have someone around his age around and quickly befriended him.

Kang, despite having what he assumed was a normal upbringing, had a lot of unresolved trauma (mostly from his year alone) and didn’t know how to properly navigate social situations. He had unknowingly internalized a lot of his father’s bad behaviors, especially his self-sacrificial tendencies.

Lao being a fairly normal child didn’t realize this and just thought he was a bit strange and quiet. Constantly asking if Liu Kang was going to finish his food Kang, not wanting to disappoint his new friend, would give him what he had. This came to a head when Liu Kang fainted from lack of nutrition and Lao was thoroughly chewed out by a medic for taking food from an obviously malnourished kid.

Liu Kang has stunted growth as an adult only standing 5"6' when he should be around 5"8'. While short, he is very broad. Broader than Kuai Liang despite being a good amount of inches shorter.

He awakened his pyromancy when he was 10 while sparring (read: play fighting) with Kung Lao. Lao had just gotten the upper hand and Kang, in a panic, grabbed his wrist, and the next thing they knew Lao was screaming and clutching his burnt wrist. He got bandaged by a medic and promised Kang he wasn't scared of him and that "a little fire" wouldn't change anything. Even going as far as to encourage Kang to use fire against him.

Kung Lao looks at the burn fondly now, jokingly calling it the one time Liu Kang didn't pull his punches against him.

While both are pyromancy, Liu Kang and Hanzo's fire work very differently. Kang's fire is genetic and is closer to cryomancy in function (but, like with fire instead of ice). Unlike Hanzo, Kang can be burned (though he has a massive resistance) in the same way cryomancers can get frostbite. Also his magic naturally settles in his lower stomach while Hanzo's sits in his chest.

If I were to describe Liu Kang in one word it'd be repressed. He doesn't want to burden others with his feelings and is more than happy to never talk about it. Only ever talking about it once with Lao when they were preteens. And that was because it slipped out, not because he genuinely wanted to breach the topic. He's gotten better with age, but whenever his feelings are singled out he shuts down.

He doesn't believe he should be selfish (even though it's not selfish) and should be grateful for what he has. His father raised him to be grateful and the Shaolin taught him similarly, acting selfishly would be like spitting on their faces. He needs to be grateful to those who helped him, lest they throw him back on the streets.

And that's where the people-pleasing, self-destructive, and sacrificial tendencies come from! I'm moving onto happier headcanons now :)

He has a competitive streak, not that he'll admit it. And not many realize it. Johnny, none the wiser, challenged him to a cook off and Liu Kang took that seriously. An entire event was made with Earthrealm's defenders to judge the food. Honestly, the food was so good it just turned into a vote of whether you like Chinese or Italian food more. Kang won.

For the next few months, Liu Kang would give Johnny this look that he could only describe as smug. He thought he was going crazy because he was the only one who noticed it and everyone he told brushed him off because "Liu Kang's not like that". The only one who believed him was Kung Lao because he too had been on the receiving end of Kang's post-competition smugness.

Accidentally encouraged Sonya's kleptomania and was mortified when he realized it.

He secretly loves dirty jokes, but he never makes them unless he's either drunk, the opportunity is too good to pass up, or he's really comfortable with you. Even then it's rare. If the joke itself doesn't get you, the shock of it coming out of his mouth will.

If you think Hanzo has no brain to mouth filter when he's drunk, then Kang's 10x worse. Worse to the point they started a quote book that includes but is not limited to: "I sometimes wish I could get pregnant, I'd like to experience motherhood." "*Lao explaining something* Lao we literally took each other's virginity-" "*Loudly sighs and walks up to Jax, taking his cigar out of his mouth, then proceeding to smoke the stolen cigar as he walks away without a word.*" He is usually dragged home from the party by Kung Lao or Kitana, because, no, they don't need to know about our sex life.

Loves smoking but rarely does it because he knows it's bad for his health. At this point, he's convinced it's a pyromancer thing because the feeling of smoke in his lungs causes his powers to thrum. Prefers to use a pipe as they create less waste.

His type is long, dark haired, round eyed, people of prestigious descent, with bladed weaponry, who are taller than him. Being dangerous is a fun bonus.

This took forever to type and I'm going to bed now, looking forward to your thoughts in the morning <3

ohohohoohohoo yiiiiiiisssssssss

Liu Kang's headband is actually a piece of cloth from one of his mother's clothes that his father gave him to keep her close. He has fully burned ppl for trying to take it from him

Once Kung Lao realized how malnourished and self sacrificing Liu Kang was, he made it his mission to ensure that his friend ate. Lao would steal snacks from the kitchen and hand them to Liu whenever he wasn't paying attention and would also glare at anyone who tried to take food from the younger boy.

Because Liu Kang joined the monastery later than most, it took him a while to catch up to their skill, causing some of the other kids to tease him. Lao, once he learned, started fighting anyone who said a bad word about Liu, leading to them both getting in trouble over it.

It did also lead to their first kiss, with them having gotten in serious trouble after Lao broke a kids arm, so he kept trying to apologize to Liu over it, eventually causing Liu to kiss him to shut him up. As much as Liu Kang dislikes hurting the other monks, he can't deny that it feels nice to have someone so determined to protect him, even from their friends.

Lao is taller than him and consistently gloats about it, but he is also leaner which Liu never fails to point out.

Whenever the two are cuddling in bed, Liu will kiss the burn on Lao's hand as both an apology for it (which Lao always waves off) and an affectionate gesture.

Liu never talks about his feelings, even the positive ones, and it is one of the few things he and Lao fight about, with Lao wanting Liu to be more open so that he can support Liu the way Liu supports him

They also fought when Raiden chose Liu as his champion (and pls someone ask me about my Kung Lao hcs I Beg) bc Lao felt that it was unfair to pick one over the other when they where both equally skilled and Raiden could have easily brought both of them (which would be smarter) and Liu, not wanting the last time he saw Kung Lao to be a fight, kept telling him to trust Raiden's judgement and just refused to engage in the argument.

To this day, they both regret that they parted angry before the tournament, without a goodbye kiss or "I love you"

After finding out about Kitana and Liu having their budding romance, Lao pulled back, thinking he was no longer wanted (man is insecure and he hides that under arrogance) which lead to Liu thinking Lao now hated him for being chosen. They were both pining and miserable for months, leading to Kitana being very confused by the situation and not knowing how to handle it (she's not good at people, she's good at murder)

Kitana and Johnny of all people ended up hanging out and she let slip what was going on and why she was confused by it, leading to Johnny dragging Lao and Liu over to his house for the night and making them sit down and talk, acting as a mediator between them. It took several days but they eventually worked it out and then went to talk to Kitana, leading to them all getting together

Kung Lao and Kitana remained platonic, however, though they did start to get along (I am not married to the idea that Kung Lao and Kitana don't ever also get together, but I do think it would take a looooooong time before they did)(if I wrote a Liulaotana story in that vein, would anyone be interested in that? It wouldn't be any time soon but, yknow, still)

Liu Kang also challenged Jax to an arm wrestling competition and lost, which revealed that he is something of a sore loser. He won't say anything and he'll always be really polite, but then afterwards he's grumpy and throws himself into training for days on end.

On those days, Kung Lao and Kitana will usually team up to pull him out of the training yard and back into bed, helping him work his frustration out in a more productive way.

Loves a good dirty joke and is also shockingly good at dirty talk. Once got Kung Lao off with nothing but his voice and some heavy kissing and he remains smug about that. Kitana refuses to believe that story no matter how much Kung Lao blushes in mortification until Liu does the exact same thing to her.

Not only is there a notebook of Liu's lack of filter, the kombat kids have a gc full of videos of him saying various outrageous shit.

he does enjoy smoking, but Kung Jin got him to try a vape once and he threw up from how much he hated it. Sticks to his pipe after that.

Points out that Kitana and Kung Lao are similar and both his type once and neither of them will speak to him for a week bc of it.

lemme know if you have any more! these are great!

#liu kang #kung lao #kitana #liulao #liulaotana #mortal kombat #mortal kombat x #mortal kombat 11

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marimayscarlett · 1 month

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*hands you an empty ask that allows you to talk about most beloved pretty men*

*walks away to watch Matrix on my laptop in my LOTR sweatshirt*

Hi 😌

Thank you for this! I will use this ask to present two little, very self-centered lists about my favourite old men, eventhough no one really asked for it ✨

First up of course my love, always:

5 Reasons why I love and adore Richard for almost 10 years now 🤍

1) His enthusiasm When it comes to his passion in music, Richard is extremely enthusiastic, regularly bubbling over with creative ideas, tries out different guitar gear to get the perfect sound (even builds his own tech equipment like the mic Roboter he shows here) and exudes just an intense drive for music. You can feel how much he thinks about the music he puts out, how much of a perfectionist Richard can be (a fact which sometimes makes things more complicated/tiresome) for him and how much joy he can find in work. Music even has a therapeutic effect to him, leading him out of his depressive episode in 2019. This man really burns for his passion and I love this enthusiasm 🤍

2) His openness It is clear that Richard had some problems in the past with drug abuse as well as mental health related, due to some conflicts in his past - depression, frustration and longing for appreciation accompanied him for a long time as he mentions in-depth here, and maybe still do. And he is outspoken about it, wanted to change things and actively looked for help! Things you need strength and courage for, and Richard allows himself to be openly vulnerable, like when he talks about it in interviews. It might be a reason why some people don't really like him or find him boastful and self centered, yet I can't stress enough how important his openness about topics like these is! It shows that yes, everyone can have problems, might have to deal with trauma for several decades and yet can overcome it. And this openness and honesty is something I find quite admirable.

3) His honesty and not being afraid to express his opinions Richard does not mice any words when it comes to express his opinions and thoughts on things. He is very honest most of the time; about how exhausting yet exciting work in a group like Rammstein can be, how much he dislikes certain things and cities, also about personal things like himself being quickly irritated by things, needing alone time to come to terms with feelings and impressions, about how much he can be a perfectionist and controll freak… Whenever you read an interview with him, you sooner or later are confronted with an opinion of him. And I think that's a way to get to 'know' him as a person a bit! This might sound 'closeminded' that he's so opinionated, but he's pretty much the opposite: for example does Richard express his dislike for German rap and hiphop (he clames he just doesn't understand these music genres) and yet he's always open to listen to tracks which others who him to get to know more about different music styles.

4) The courage to improve and reinvent himself Richard is not afraid of change, self growth and taking steps forward (away from bad influences) or trying out new things. From starting Emigrate as an additional outlet for his musical creativity to trying out different fashion styles and wearing what makes him feel comfortable - this man knows what he wants to do and wear, and goes through with it! We sometimes laugh about his questionable choices, yet he looks comfortable and has the guts to really be true to himself (at least he comes across this way), which is something a lot of people wish they could do, but are withheld from doing it due to thinking too much about opinions of others 👀

5) His cuddliness and cordiality This is something widely known and appreciated - Richard is a natural born hugger and enjoys showing his affection in a physical manner. In a world where showing affection and love openly as a male is still sometimes viewed as 'weak/unmanly', I just love how open he is about it! Plus he can be very warmhearted and appreciative with fans, too 🤍

Now on to:

5 Reasons why I fell in love with Hugo 🤍

1) His versatility I swear to God, 'versatility' is Hugo's middle name. The range of the genres he plays in, the range of the characters he plays is incredibly wide - from playing a drag queen to playing a ruthless AI agent to a fool in love to an elven lord to a bisexual business man to a smug detective to a crossdressing police officer to several classical theatre roles… I could go on and on. The reason for this wide range of roles is: he just chooses what interests him. Not thinking about what brings the most money or prestige, but choosing roles which speak to him on different levels; which are nuanced, have some sort of twist to them and are neither black or white, which is an important thing for him.

2) His devotion and calmness This man first met his partner Katrina when he was four years old, they got acquaintanted properly in acting school and fell in love in their mid 20s - and are still together to this day. He really is a proper family man, absolutely devoted to his partner (mentioning over the course of several interviews that one of the reason for him loving to work in Australia is being close to her and their kids). He's also very, very down to earth, quite modest and an overall a really positive sweetheart and loved by his actor colleagues - his close friend and an actress he worked with a lot Cate Blanchett once called him 'a god amongst men'. And this type of constancy and calmness has such an relaxing effect on me - sounds strange, I know, but this just makes him even more likable for me.

3) His outspokenness and support for important causes When I tell you that this man takes no shit and uses his voice for bringing attention to significant topics, I mean it. Hugo advocated avidly for marriage equality in Australia, slammed far-right movements and republicans (including Trump) for blindly using imagery from 'The Matrix' and 'V for Vendetta' for questionable causes and not looking further into the meaning of the movies and wants to raise awareness for men's mental health issues. He is also an advocate for epilepsy awareness, a condition which with which he was diagnosed with in his early teen years.

4) His voice and his use of it Hugo could read a phone book to me, I'd thank him on my knees and would pay my left kidney for it. He has a lovely voice, a quite calm way of speaking, a beautiful vocabulary (most likely also shaped by his work as an on stage actor) and way of describing things. Hugo can use his voice to really give his roles different levels and depth - he modelled the voice of Agent Smith after American news anchors and sounds so different than for example as soft spoken yet firm Elrond in 'Lord of the Rings' or ambitious and borderline aggressive Richard in 'The Dirtwater Dynasty'. Now you'd say "well, that's his job as an actor 🤨" but honestly, I've never encountered another actor who uses his voice so intensely.

5) His love for Australian cinema Hugo is not the biggest fan of Hollywood, which of course can seem quite contradictory considering the huge productions he was in. But he's extremely invested in Australian productions as well if not more, which he continuously supports and brings attention to Australian movies and culture. He's of the opinion that Australian cinema deserves way more recognition (even within the country itself) and is a great way to bring light to the culture and show the different sides of the country. It really is a shame that Australian movies aren't that much known most of the time - for example "Proof" (Hugo plays a blind man with trust issues) from 1991 is seen as an absolute classic by movie critics, yet not a lot of people outside of Australia have seen it.

(I added gifs of them both purely because well. I love looking at them)

Thank you for coming to my unasked for Ted Talk! 🎤 (Damn, I really should take up on Paul's idea and should start a business like that)

#ask #rammstein #richard kruspe #hugo weaving #i will scream about this two men until someone shots me or takes me to horny/enthusiasm jail.#sorry to everyone who has to witness this once again

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carigm · 2 months

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Regarding this whole bi Mike vs. gay Mike debate, I’m personally open to either as long as the Duffers make it make sense. They can take two narrative choices here: Mike is gay and his relationship with El was born out of conformity, trauma bonding, hero worship, and ofc over time, genuine care….or Mike is bi and has been slowly falling out of love with El for the past two seasons and struggling with the idea of liking his best friend, as well as scared of being a boy liking another boy in the 80’s and also trying to conform.

There are similarities in these narratives and there are also differences. However, as long as the duffers explain Mike’s previous behavior in a way that is coherent to whatever narrative they pick (even if that paints some of Mike’s actions in a bad light) , then we have a good story.

Their job is to explain all of Mike’s (often questionable) choices these past few seasons in order for his character to reach a desirable conclusion and achieve some growth, as well as making Byler work in a way that doesn’t feel contrived nor cheap.

I do think it’s important to remember this is a Netflix show that has been geared to the general masses for quite a while now, and that although this is the last season and perhaps they can get away with more, they will most likely have Byler happen in the most palatable way so that the ga accepts them as a couple.

We are talking about a show that vehemently shies away from having their queer characters saying their actual labels out loud, so if Byler happens they will likely try to make them look as sympathetic as possible to the audience. An audience that LOVES Eleven at that.

So while I personally am a huge proponent of complicated situations and drama, I don’t believe the Duffers are.

I do think they probably got a little messy this season, that’s just inherent if they decided to go with Byler as an endgame couple lol….

but let’s just keep in mind that whatever choice the duffers picked is a choice they had to sell to all the Netflix executives, and one they will have to sell to the general audience as well.

#byler #byler theory

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bigtittiecomitte · 1 month

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Hiya!! So, I've got a question..so with Murder Drones coming back and the next upcoming episode (EP 7) coming out next Friday, do you have any worries and concerns for episode 7, including for how the entire show might end as a whole? I've seen some express their concerns mostly because they aren't sure how long the episode is gonna be.. I honestly hope the episode is long enough to where it doesn't feel rushed, (like 30 mins or so) they mentioned how EP 7 will have so much revealed but they can't do that in 20 or something minutes, because it could end up leading to disappointment similar to what happened with Episode 5, especially since we all waited months for the continuation after EP 6's cliffhanger.

(btw, I didn't hate EP 5. I know that episode is mixed with the fanbase, but I just thought it had so much potential and could've been much better)

Also, there's a possibility that V is gonna be returning in some way or so because when the trailer released over on Twitter, Nola Klop (Voice Of V) retweeted the trailer and such, I'm not sure if that's much but it's something, plus in the trailer we don't ever see V's body so it's a possibility she's still alive.

Also, this is totally off topic..but I'll admit that the fandom and some of the shipping wars have honestly ruined the show and experience for me, this is mostly due to experience and such. I've vented my frustrations with both the ship wars and the fandom itself before so I won't go into detail, but mostly from the Envy shippers and how horrible most of them are (NOT ALL) has kinda ruined my enjoyment..it's hard to fully enjoy my love for MD and the ship I've got comfort for, when in the back of my head the fandom and how poorly it treats others is bothering me inside. It's sad and also, it's gotten to the point where I barely care about who'll get with who..I know that's not the point of the show but still. It also doesn't help that YouTubers such as Vanitymoth and others aren't making things better..I'll also admit to something else that the MD fandom (mostly V stans) have kinda ruined V for me, she's not my favorite, but she is a character I've always been pretty invested in and I do love how complicated she is and she's also very interesting and I do hope we see more of her character growth whenever she comes back, wether that's in the last two final episodes of S1 or the future of the show.

But, ever since between EP 5 and especially EP 6..the fans have ruined V for me and it's made it hard for me to fully love her and be a fan, especially as many of them are insane, also can't separate V from N most of the time, seeing her as NOTHING but N's love interest or use her as a way to shit on Uzi and Nuzi 24/7 (especially on Twitter) + always defend her actions and never see her in the wrong. Yes, she has trauma and she's been through a lot..but it doesn't excuse how she acted, especially how she treated N and often mistreated and threatened Uzi.

And not only that, but the V stans and insane toxic Envy shippers have also made it hard for me to fully like Envy..I'm someone who's kinda natural on the ship and mostly only like their mansion counterparts and don't think they'd work in the present, but it could work now possibly since V has gotten some development + her sacrifice but I'm still not sure. But anyways, I'm into other ships in the fandom and although Nuzi is my main ship..I'm still in support of other pairings and love many other things in the show (unlike some fans) but It's been hard for me to fully embrace and like Envy due to how damn toxic and horrible they are and how they do nothing but spread misinformation, talk shit about Nuzi and just act horribly..remember that Envy shipper over on Twitter who threw a tantrum and cried over the Nuzi scenes in EP 6?

[Anyways, I'm sorry for getting off topic..but am I the only person who feels this way?? I've got my worries and concerns for the next episode but I've wanted to vented out about how I've been feeling lately about MD and the community..the show has changed me and still means a lot, but lately it's been hard to feel excitement and feel happy when this fandom at times can be so damn horrible and the shipping wars have also drained me so much. Once again, I deeply apologize for this ask being too long and just being all over the place. 💗)

Thanks for the ask! No need to be sorry for anything, I get off topic a lot too so we’re in the same boat lmao. All of your feelings are completely valid about any worries about the show and the fandom. I’m the same as well

I’m obviously very worried about how the show will end. I really don’t want a bad ending, especially for a show where a season 2 hasn’t been completely revealed yet. I’m really worried about N or Uzi dying the most though, you’ve seen these guys go through some shit, it would generally hurt if N or Uzi die. I feel like I would be in peace if they died together at least cause I’m weak for one dying and the other having to go back to the beginning of loneliness again

I’ve mentioned this a bunch of times but I do hope that V doesn’t appear this episode, I feel like it would just be pointless to make her have this big sacrifice and just suddenly appear the next episode. I don’t think she’s completely dead but you never know, Liam could surprise us lol

About shipping wars. It definitely ruined the fandom, the Nuzi vs Envy war is really stupid. I believe that you can criticise a ship and not the shippers (only ok if it’s a proship ewwww) Unfortunately from my time at the beginning of this fandom, it was already a hellhole with the shipping wars, it just got bigger as time goes on and they slowly went for Nuzi. I definitely can understand Envy shippers pain when Nuzi became the endgame ship. I’m someone who is a huge Nuzi shipper (I quite literally live and breathe Nuzi) and if another ship with N or Uzi was endgame, I definitely would be really hurt but a lot did take it out on Nuzi shippers that are just enjoying the show and the ship even before it became endgame due to the whole proship thing

Even if Envy became endgame, even if any other ship became endgame, it shouldn’t matter. People should be there for the show, not the freaking ships, this isn’t twilight

I will admit that I didn’t really like V, I never saw the appeal that everyone had about her but I do like her character growth. She didn’t deserve to be not only mischaracterised but also heavily sexualised

Maybe I would’ve liked V if her fans weren’t such obsessed weirdos that would literally send death threats over her existence but unfortunately they exist and there’s nothing to do about it

Her relationship with N definitely gets misinterpreted as well. I mean thank god for N being the way he is because if he was aware on how V treated him, he probably would’ve left her because V treated him really shitty. They don’t have a toxic relationship but they do have a dysfunctional relationship and now thanks to the fight in Episode 4 V has been treating N and Uzi nicer

And yeah I did see a lot of Envy Shippers hating on Uzi for getting in the way of N and V’s relationship but…what relationship? They didn’t have one before Uzi even showed up. Sure N did have a crush on her but V just completely ignored him and let J abuse him. Would that even change if Uzi wasn’t in the picture? It’s more likely it would be rinse and repeat if Uzi didn’t go out of the colony, N would continued to be abused and V would continue to ignore him, only focusing on the workers

In fact, they actually have Uzi to thank because N and V started their platonic relationship again thanks to her. N and V had a fight because of her which made V change and have her character growth. Uzi showed N that it’s ok to stand up for yourself and be more assertive in scenarios where it’s appropriate, which is what made N lose his shit at V at Episode 4. They’re only mad because Uzi got in the way out of their romantic relationship BUT unfortunately to disappoint some people, N and V will quite literally never have a romantic relationship in the present and that’s been shown numerous of times 8n the show that N and V could never work out in the present. It’s only in the past

I think N x V is definitely a good example of a lot of things in relationships and tropes. They’re a good example of loving someone who changed into someone you’re not fond of. They’re a good example of how trauma can affect relationships. But most importantly they’re a good example of the “right person, wrong time” trope

Think about it. They were happy in the manor together, they drew together, they read books together, they were in love with each other, and that would’ve stayed the same if the absolute solver wasn’t there. If the absolute solver came at a different time in the future then it would be very different for N and V but the absolute solver just had to be there and that’s how they turned into Disassembly Drones

So if there’s someone to blame for ruining N and V’s relationship it’s definitely not Uzi lol. N and V can only have that romantic relationship in the past, not the present, not the future. Despite their romantic relationship being gone that doesn’t mean that their relationship is completely gone, they can slowly build up to become friends and still have a bond. It’s not the end of the world and hey, if you still want them to get together romantically then there is fanfiction and AU’s

Coconut 🥥🥥🥥🥥🥥

#murder drones

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sunflower73498 · 2 months

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My early thoughts on Season 3 Ep 1-5

mostly unprocessed ramblings but things I want to keep thinking about

(1) I think most importantly, Wille and Simon (and the rest of the characters, really) act like actual teenagers - teens don’t have it all together and don’t always communicate their feelings well and sometimes struggle to see things from other perspectives, especially when they are traumatized and grieving. I love that they show what a complicated phase of growing up adolescence is, in a very realistic way. Many teens struggle with lack of control in their own lives and can act out because of it, and in Wille’s case this is majorly amplified by having even less control because of the monarchy.

(2) fandom has idolized Erik, but I’ve never thought he was that great. As the viewer we get him more from Wille’s perspective so an idealized version of him until now, but there are definitely words and actions in s1e1 that were major red flags.

(3) I feel so bad for Wilhelm and his lack of support or interest from his parents. His outburst was deserved. Extreme, and scary, but what he said to them was a long time coming.

(4) I’ve seen people on Twitter saying that this season takes back some of Wilhelm’s character growth in season 2, which I disagree with. A handful of therapy sessions doesn’t fix his grief, the impact of being in the spotlight, his lifelong anxiety, or his parents neglecting him. I’m Season 2 he began a long journey of figuring out what matters to him, but that was just the first step, and I think s3 does a good job of showing how that is very much still a work in progress for him. He is trying, but often missteps and doesn’t communicate well.

(5) really loving getting to explore Simons emotions and reactions more. He’s also a work in progress just from a different starting point. He has his own family trauma, but having the support of his mom and his friends definitely makes a difference in how he approaches problems, even if his mom isn’t always the most attentive either. It’s also a realistic family dynamic with a history of domestic trauma/violence.

(6) I appreciated the hazing plot line. I went to a big public university in the US with very active Greek life, and our sororities and fraternities always had lots of hazing problems. The fraternities much more so, including a kid dying due to the hazing process while I was there, but some of my friends who rushed sororities also had some bad stories to tell.

(7) the acting is phenomenal

there are so many ups and downs for Wilmon and I’m glad the characters are complex and imperfect enough that I feel so deeply for them, even when it hurts as a fan of the ship and the individual characters. It hurts so much at times because it matters and it’s so real. Yeah, not everyone is a rich prince, but the emotions, the struggle for control and identity, is very universal.

(I really hope I’ve tagged this for spoilers appropriately. I’ve been on tumblr for 13+ years but mostly just lurk)

#Young royals #young royals season 3 #Spoilers #young royals spoilers #young royals analysis #wilhelm #simon

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queencolondarkwing · 9 months

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AngelicaASMR’s current change

This post only about any info posted as of 7/25/2023 (will update in future if needed).

Ok so I’ve been following the Angelica Asmr shit pretty closely (don’t expect me to comment on gwen gwiz too because that girl is a grifter from the start). And as a mental health worker it REALLY freaks me out for her. I worked in a rehab for awhile. For people quitting drugs, but many of them also had bipolar, ptsd, schizophrenia, and similar diagnosises (some people also had the behavior due to being in crisis as well due to loss, recent homelessness, police brutality, etc.). So I know what psychotic breaks look like. I won’t armchair diagnose anything specific because I am not her medical provider, but while I can’t say she has anything for certain - she has a history of manic episodes in the past.

As someone with ADHD, a history of sexual and religious trauma, and c-ptsd like Angelica, I can honestly see how she fell into this. As someone who is also anti-capitalist, I can see why she thinks finding community would be beneficial (not sure why she would choose the Catholic Church instead of something from less individualistic, Eastern philosophy doesn’t make sense to me personally though...) to finding growth in an online era of isolation following a personal loss in her life. It seems weird how she went from talking about her Jehovahs Witness trauma from her youth...to going full on Orthodox, but I’ll get into details on why mentally this is actually super common in a minute.

I can also see how she would become a SWERF after having done OF, since as a former sex worker myself (camming, porn, fssw) who quit doing it after being raped - I can safely say that I myself am neither pro or anti sex work. I’m pro-decriminalization to keep workers safe, but also do feel a bit sick sometimes that MOST fssw on the streets are marginalized people. It is a complicated issue with nuance that non-sex workers have no business taking a side on. However, she is very hateful recently and anti-sex in general. Which is an issue.

She originally joined OnlyFans during a manic episode. So she HAS a history of mental illness and making major life decisions during mania.

She went from pro-lgbtq to anti-lgbtq. Deleted her old progressive videos. Claimed to be a victim of MKUltra. Started making up delusions around the Catholic Church being anti-capitalist (Catholics individually can 100% be leftists, but the Church itself is VERY Capitalist). She posted homophobic and transphobic tiktoks where she would yell practically incoherently. Lots of staring. Inability to talk without looking away and laughing (she is normally a skilled actress). Posting WAY more frequently than ever(she reposted 3 deleted videos last night and deleted them by this morning). She posted a video and lots of shorts and is way more active on Instagram.

The worst breakdowns I saw working rehab mostly always cycled through 4 topics: fame/self importance, inconsistent political and religious rambling, and sex. Always. Angelica has shown inconsistent spiritual beliefs (she has been mixing up Catholic, Orthodox, politics, and other religions). She has been focusing on sex in the context of trauma and posted a short of her in a bathtub on youtube again. She has been posting and immediately deleting content that has even positive comments on it.

Some medical signs of possible mania and/or psychosis that she is exhibiting:

Paranoia, trouble talking in a clear way/rambling, withdrawing socially (posting more often/online more but also alienating from her former fans), Confused speech, trailing off/lack of focus in videos, Generally disorganized way of thinking, no sign of restraint in expressing self, racing speech, goal-directed activity (seems to have a new anti-sex work goal), distractable/trails off topic, random giggling at nothing at camera like it is a person she is conversing with...etc. Tbh the amount of red flags I’ve seen are alarming.

I hope she gets support and help. And it is one reason I can’t blame her as hard as I would most, because she seems clearly unwell. It isn’t an excuse. At all. And I don’t blame people for not supporting her going forward, but I plan to keep an eye on the situation for now and am hoping that somehow she can pull out of this shit, because I’ve seen this shit happen to a LOT of people with hard lives. Hell, I’ve even lashed out in smaller degrees and been delusional during my own ptsd breakdowns too, but when people are as far gone as Angelica is...I don’t usually see them come back again to the same state they were in previously. I’m hoping for the best, as a former fan and as a social worker, but Idk.

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eddiebrockx · 1 year

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⚠️ SPOILERS for Venom issues #164 and #165 (the 2016 to 2018 comics in general), Venom: The First Host, and the Venom comics in general. ⚠️

Incoming mini-essay! (TL;DR - Sleeper is the manifestation of everything I love about Venom as a comic series, Eddie and the Symbiote are top tier parents, and Spider-Woman is fucking awesome.)

Okay so, I know everyone jokes about issues 164 and 165 because “wow omg Eddie Brock is pregnant.” However, I feel like there isn’t a lot of discussion (that I’ve seen) around how Eddie and the Symbiote handled raising Sleeper because it reveals a lot about their growth up until that point.

It’s been previously established that the Symbiote has been through multiple abusive relationships in the past. The only people who have treated it relatively well as a host are Flash Thompson and, obviously, Eddie Brock. However, even in those relationships we see that it struggles with unhealthy tendencies. The most obvious being just hiding things to protect itself, which it has developed mostly as a coping mechanism (although sometimes it's just used as an easy way to create drama instead of as a sign of its trauma; the downside of having so many different people creating different comic arcs). Beyond itself, it has also seen all of it's children--Carnage, Riot, Lasher, Phage, Agony, and Scream--become incredibly violent in the hands of their hosts.

Because of this, it rightfully fears the idea of having any more children and seeing them become either like itself or its siblings. Comic issues #164 and #165 entirely focus on this idea because the Symbiote is going to spawn soon. Of course, usual Venom shenanigans ensue; people try to kidnap Eddie and the Symbiote, they escape, etc. But what's important is two things: 1) the Symbiote's dreams for the baby, and 2) we get to see Spider-Woman kick absolute ass.

In issue #165, we get these panels:

“It's true Eddie. Didn’t want my baby to be another monster. Wanted it to be a hero. A hero like you. Like Venom.”

I feel Eddie had a right to be upset at this point in time--what with not being told that your significant other is literally going to give birth--but he also doesn't at all slack on getting the Symbiote what it needs next. A quick run to Alchemax later, and they are able to (with some complications) deliver the new symbiote. They decide they will raise it separate from a host within the lab, Eddie and the Symbiote carefully watching over it's growth. Their main goal is to prepare it for a host, so hopefully it won't join its siblings.

Also (sort of a side rant) but I really want to emphasize how much I love Spider-Woman in this scenario. She, like a lot of people in Venom comic history, initially tries to attack Venom. However, upon learning that the Symbiote is pregnant, and seeing it's side of things, she promptly leaves them alone. On top of that, she steps in to rescue them, even when it wasn't necessary to do so. I don't know, I just really appreciate seeing her here. She rocks, and this also means she's one of the few characters who actually understands the relationship Eddie and the Symbiote have (and she doesn't want to destroy it).

"It's beautiful, Eddie." "It is."

I really loves this for a lot of reasons. Mostly because I'm weak to good parenting in stories, but I really want to emphasize how important it is that they're trying so hard. Eddie and the Symbiote have both been constantly fighting and internal and external struggle against the idea that they are a monster. Their mistakes have defined both of their lives. After a lot of trial and error--being broken up and reuniting again and again--that they are now taking steps to improve not only their relationship, but their overall lives and the life of their new kid.

And their new kid is absolutely overpowered. Sleeper is probably my favorite character in Venom history by a longshot. Sleeper is calm, cool, and collected, AND they're strong as hell. We get to see all of that and more displayed in Venom: First Host.

For those who haven't read it, the gist of this arc is that the Symbiote's first host--a Kree--is on a mission to find it again, along with a Skrull. Meanwhile, on Earth, Eddie and the Symbiote are trying to raise their baby in peace. They save the Kree from the Skrull, who then asks the Symbiote to return with him. It, of course, declines. And then the Kree goes absolutely nuts and tries to steal their kid so they're forced to make a sacrifice: the Symbiote goes with the Kree.

"If that is your choice...I honor it. You have my envy, Brock. You must be a great man." "No. Not great. But together we make something...more."

Stuff ensues. Eddie has to go on a rescue mission with the Skrull from before to save the Symbiote; and his kid is more than ready to help. Which, is awesome, because Sleeper is OP. They have the ability to camouflage themselves, secrete a pheromone that confuses the senses of those around them, AND can live with a dead host (they lobotomize the Kree guy and use his body to go have adventures after Eddie and the Symbiote reunite. All of this is awesome, but the only part I truly wish to highlight to you is this:

"We wanted better for you." "And I'll have it. This body is strong. There are depths of knowledge and memories in this mind. Worlds. Galaxies. I've been kept in a cage my whole life. There's so much to see out there. And I will see it. I know you did your best, father. But I don't need a cage anymore."

Sleeper has grown up; Sleeper is free. Thanks to Eddie and the Symbiote's efforts, Sleeper is their own individual. It's hard for them to accept their child leaving, but it's alright. Not only because Sleeper returns to them in the next couple of arcs anyways, but because they succeeded. While they had hoped that Sleeper would end up with a good host, they've instead given Sleeper the tools to be free on their own. They don't need to rely on a host's whims to be a hero, to be good.

It's powerful, and I love it. It's so compelling to see these character who have had such a difficult time finding themselves, finding their place in the world, raise such a strong and good individual. Sleeper goes on to be a vital asset in the King in Black arc (which I have words for, but I appreciate Sleeper's role in it) as well as a good big sibling to his human brother.

I can't even fully articulate how much I love this entire arc, just that it's the encapsulation of everything I really love about Venom. We get romance, we get parenthood, we get growth, we get all the good shit. I love it. Anyways, I'll leave you with that. I just wanted to share some of my many (many) thoughts about these comics.

#venom #venom: first host #sleeper symbiote #sleeper #eddie brock #symbrock #comics #marvel comics #venom comics #mini essay #venom (2016-2018)#rant #spider woman #sorry this is so long #im just super passionate about this #jane essay

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dictee · 8 months

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do you for real hate lestat? i mean, he’s still not far off from his white book counterpart who ran alongside louis in chasing and murdering enslaved people. or is it because his character is supposed to be a horrible dirtbag that people love him for the villain he is? is it because he’s blonde and a manic pixie that people are more likely to look past the horror of his actions in favor of magnifying the tragedy of his self sabotaging nature? in vc where all the characters are morally bankrupt it seems lestat is the only one embraced as the demon he is lol

this is an interesting question. well first and foremost he's not a real person he's a fictional character and i find him very compelling at that..i feel like a lot of the people who profess to love lestat dont actually like the character just the few traits they've abstracted to make up a character in their heads? like he's certainly manic but he's not under the manic pixie dream girl trope at ALL but you wouldnt be able to tell that based on like.i was going to put a bi flag cat ears edit from twitter but i actually dont even want to propagate it it's so terrible. i agree its sooooooo annoying to me that people are endlessly interested in dissecting his trauma rather than his abuse . as if they cancel out and as if that makes sense to do w the show like why are you anticipating what will happen in season four rather than enjoying the meal in front of you . and it's always a weird relatability thing that's at its core a total refusal to empathize with Black characters. Like the show specifically is one of the best depictions of abuse i've seen and i think it's really important that it shows abusers are not one dimensional monsters incapable of love. if your worldview is predicated on a dichotomy of good loveable people who went through bad things and evil irredeemable people who do bad things then not only are you incapable of imagining change or growth but also you are wildly irresponsible wrt your own capacity for harm. love and abuse can and often do exist tangled up together and that doesnt elide or excuse the abuse but it makes what survival or healing looks like very complicated. this is incredibly rich subject matter and people are. well actually i am going to make you look at the cat ears edit i wish there was away to put spoilers like discord. actually no i dont want it on my blog nvm but just imagine it says "thriving in non-discriminating bliss" and theres a best mom ever mug. anyways do i HATE lestat? no like there are good well written characters who are both awful AND like deeply fucking irritating to me like there is nothing to like about akio from utena for example, and jack rackham from black sails annoys me so much. i would confidently say i hate them. lestat on the other hand i'm occasionally fond . ish. of . Also yes love a good villain. That said i need him to be brutally murdered every season

#wow this is so long

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castiel-left-his-mark-on-me · 2 years

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I know a million people have already shared their opinions and thoughts on Jensen’s “brother” comment in regards to the confession, so this may be nothing new; but I can’t stop thinking about it so I wanted to write it down.

One of the main reasons I love (and kept watching) SPN over the years was because of Dean’s character-growth. He is just so human—and that is a testament to both Jensen’s acting, as well as Jensen’s age when he started playing Dean.

For fifteen years, we got to observe all those micro and macro changes within Dean’s character; much like a parent watching their child grow up. We noticed how Dean’s face changed, how his voice and confidence and openness morphed and grew … but we also got to see all the ways he stayed the same. We got to see his habits resurface again and again; and we got to see him make the same mistakes over and over. And even though it was frustrating to watch at times … it was also very, very human. It was natural. It felt real … and I think that was both intentional and unintentional on Jensen’s part.

But just like how our growing child can’t see all these changes within themselves, I don’t think Jensen can see them all within Dean—not like how we can. He’s too close; but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t psychoanalyzed Dean Winchester.

I think it’s become obvious in the last couple of years just how much Jensen has thought about Dean’s thought process, both individually as well as in the SPN canon—and he thinks of Dean as a real person. His answer at VanCon proves that. Like @pray4jensen said: it’s clear that Jensen doesn’t know where he ends and Dean begins. And how could he know? He started playing/shaping Dean in his late twenties; and science has proven that most people’s brains are still malleable at that age. He then went on to grow with that character well into adulthood—through all the formidable and pivotal moments in his own life … marriage, fatherhood, life and death. Dean IS part of him. He wasn’t just an “act” to Jensen. So much of his own development couldn’t help but sneak into Dean’s mannerisms, which made Dean feel very, very real on screen.

Think of it this way … so many of us have had difficult/complicated pasts. We have had to code-switch all our lives. There’s a version of yourself that you have to display in certain company and in certain environments; and sometimes, that version pops up without warning—when triggered by something familiar or traumatic.

Now, I’m not saying that playing Dean was a “trauma” for Jensen (at least—I hope it wasn’t), I’m just saying that we’ve all had experience playing a role in our lives; and even though we know that it’s just a role, we still think of it as a version of ourselves. We still feel like we’re just a moment away from reverting back to that person. But can you define all the qualities of that other version of you? Can you explain—in detail, just how and when and why that version pops up? No.

You can identify some things, sure, but not all. That’s why we seek out therapy. We need an outside perspective to help us find a way to bridge these versions of ourselves and make them whole again.

This is just human nature. It’s human psychology.

Dean Winchester is a version of Jensen. He is a real part of Jensen’s life. So, when Jensen answers on Dean’s behalf, he can’t help but put himself directly into that character’s boots—exactly where they stand, here and now.

And if we flash back to that confession—Jensen knows that Dean Winchester would not have been able to comprehend all the ways Castiel meant “I love you” because Jensen was Dean in that moment. And after Cas was taken, Dean still wouldn’t have been able to understand, because all the love he has ever known in his life—all the true, dependable, reliable love, has come along with the fight. Jensen knows—because he lived it all with Dean, that any love his character felt was a direct result of his battles to save the world. Sam, Benny, Mary, Charlie, Kevin, and on and on … all of them of course cared for Dean—Dean knew that, but since the constant fighting framed every one of those relationships, he couldn’t help but view them all the same way: as soldiers, fighters, products of war. They were family, yes ... but they were all still soldiers. Even those he tried to keep out of the war, Dean still knew the reality was … they had to fight in order to stay alive. That was just the way it was. That was the way of the love Dean felt. Any kind of love beyond that was impossible, because war would inevitably take it away too. That’s why he ended things with Cassie and Lisa. That’s why he only ever pursued shallow flings and one-night stands. And that’s why, when he saw hunters who actually maintained romantic relationships—he always stared at them in wide-eyed-wonder.

Out of all the impossible things Dean had witnessed in his life, that was the one that consistently shocked him.

Hunters … in love and happy.

It felt unreal, even though it was right there in front of his eyes.

He couldn’t understand it. So, even though it apparently was possible for others, he never believed it was possible for him. It had nothing to do with sex … sex wasn’t a part of love for Dean. Sex was just a physical movement, like fighting and eating. It kept his body alive and moving forward. This impossible love he saw others maintaining … it had everything to do with heart; and for nearly fifteen years, Dean believed his heart was worthless.

It wasn’t until an angel stood in front of him on the brink of death and said: Dean, you are not a weapon to be wielded. You are beautiful. You are a man full of love who deserves to be loved, and I love you, that Dean thought any different.

It wasn’t until he heard Castiel say Dean was more than just a soldier, that Dean actually started to believe it. But that realization was still a long way off from what Castiel was actually telling him.

And Castiel knew that Dean wouldn’t understand—he knew that Dean wouldn’t be able to fully grasp his words and take them to heart; but he hoped that if he at least said them out loud … if he said them to Dean’s face and saved the man’s life, that Dean would go on to live and grow; and then someday, he would see that someone did actually love him once. Cas truly loved him—not because Dean could protect him in a fight. Not because he was a good hunter or the savior of the world, but because Dean was Dean, and that was enough.

And you know, if Dean got to live to 100, he just might’ve realized that; but he didn’t. He died too soon. And so, he never got to truly grasp what his angel was saying, and I feel like that’s what Jensen understands about Dean the most.

He understands that Dean never got the chance to understand love.

Not in that way. Not in the way Castiel meant it.

Dean was still too naive, too broken, too jaded; so, he did what all humans do, he put the complex into terms he could understand, and that was that Castiel loved him the way that Sam loved him. The way that Benny and Charlie and Kevin loved him, the way that all his found-family love him; and after Cas was gone, he buried his face into his hands and wept because once again, he failed to protect his family. And even worse, he failed to at least let Castiel go knowing that Dean loved him too—in the only way he knows how to love, he was too broken to say even that.

He let Castiel down in every way possible, so he curled into himself and sobbed.

He should have said it back.

He should have held the angel close and said it back.

Dean realized it too late, and Jensen knows how much that hurt him.

It wasn’t about sex.

It wasn’t about romance.

It was about love and loss, and Dean was all too familiar with both—but only in the ways he had seen all his life.

The love of family and the loss of family.

He never had the chance for more.

He never got to see what else his own heart was capable of.

That’s what I feel Jensen meant with that answer, and that’s what I think he understands the most about Dean's character. We may be able to see the bigger picture because we're on the outside looking in; but Jensen was in Dean’s boots every day for fifteen years.

All he could ever see was what was right in front of him—and when Castiel made that confession, Jensen could only see it through Dean's eyes. He could only feel what Dean felt. He knows that when Castiel said those words to him, that was his best and truest friend in the world saying goodbye.

Another brother-in-arms was lost to him; but this time, it felt different. It hurt more, and if Dean just had a little more time—he would've been able to understand why.

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bunnidid-reviews · 7 months

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I got the second Elle(s) book today and ofc read it soon as I could

Some thoughts:

- this book focuses more heavily on the inner world exploration, and I found the art to be even more dynamic and lovely in this one

- Blue takes over the host position from the previous book, because of the loss of her aunt and shocking revelation that Elle was adopted as a baby. The whole book is about rose Elle finding her way out of the inner world and back to taking control of her life

- we get a little bit more development on the other parts of Elle, since Rose interacts with them as she’s going through each of the inner worlds. But there’s not a lot there, if I’m honest? They all act like strangers that happen to be dragged into the story rather than parts of your very self who’ve always had a sense of being at least connected to you in some way. Especially since its implied that Elle has ‘had problems with this before’, and she purposefully made these inner worlds for each of them, we as the reader are left confused to how much they actually know eachother.. theres just not much there

- and as for Blue, the one part who’s been looming over both this book and the last, we don’t know much about her either, aside from being manipulative and stealing money and clout off her friends. If she’s supposed to be a persecutor part, she has no obvious drive outside just ~being evil~. (To quote my very own blue-colored persecutory part; “What a lazy bitch”)

- this.. ending..?

(The text reads: Wow! Embryos merged? So that means.. I really am six different people! )

Maybe it’s a problem with translation, but the tone of this picture and text really cuts off any of the built up tension thats been riding throughout the book.

- this book never explicitly mentions DID as being a diagnosis, so it’s more of a concept of multiple personalities being used in a different way…

I’m not someone who’s going to speak on what makes ‘enough’ trauma to create DID, because birth complications and adoption are traumatic, and it’s also not something I have experience with. I can’t speak on how this would feel for people who had twins and lost them for it to be portrayed this way, though. In the book, this is clearly stated to be some sort of Special Unreal Circumstance and I found that.. in weird taste..

-it’s not.. DID. I thought the adventuring through the inner worlds would be more about making honest connections and getting to know these parts of her more fully, but Elle’s journey was really just about pulling herself up by the boot straps and switching back out. She doesn’t really have trauma and this book makes it super clear

-I’m disappointed that there wasnt much time spent with brunette Elle because she really seemed to be grieving honestly in the last book, I thought theyd be helping eachother more. But its.. not reallyyy and its shown as growth anyway

-I like the series but I can’t really take it very seriously. It has the vibes of seeing all the major plot points of someone’s OC stuff without all the extra content that fleshes out the characters.

———

I might just be in a mood because I feel very out of place with my own DID at the moment(I’m usually fairly comfortable, but I think I might be having a DPDR episode), but I’ve been sitting on the Elle(s) series for a good few months now, and I don’t really get any deeper connection

I’ll get the next book anyway and see if any of it ties up more neatly. I know its the artists’ first comic I believe, so maybe theres not so much depth becauseeee offff inexperience. Or translation issues because I believe it came out elsewhere first. I dont know!

O well, enjoy my short review

#dissociative identity disorder #did in media #actuallydid #elle(s)#bunnidid reviews #also in a weird place about liking the art and having a really hard time reading it with all the extreme lighting #supposedly she gets streaks of color in her hair for each of the parts she helps but its really not visible throughout any of it #wheres my DID magical girl transformations :( smh have to do everything myself

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