#and Inej knows what she wants and deserves Kaz at his best | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wh0refornikolailantsov · 9 months

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Prompt: "I know you love him, and I will not ask you to change. I only ask... is there any part of you that could love me too?"

Song: "As It Was" - Hozier

For Inej x Reader please!!

hehehehe

A Place For Me - Inej Ghafa

Content Warnings: Canon Complaint Threat And Violence. Mentions Of Feeling Second Best, Insecurities, Being Enough Or Not Enough. Discussions Of Unrequited Love. Not Beta/ Proof Read.

Watching her, it's like watching the sunrise. She is this bright light that brings everything around her into this abundance of colour. Inej is nothing short of pure sunlight, she is where your days begin and end. She is where every single one of your thoughts begin and end. From the day you two met, you were reduced to a creature that wanted to be in her presence. Or at least that is how you have described it, at length to Wylan.

Wylan nods, wiping some soot unintentionally across his brow. "You love her," Wylan says, reaching across the table for a vial of something. It's not an observation, just a simple statement, one he has made many a time.

Your smile is doleful, but there isn't a shred of remorse in your chest, nothing could bring you to regret your feelings for her. They had never been intentional, but they were not unwanted, you would not choose to feel any other way about her even if you could. She deserved to be loved, endlessly, devotedly, unconditionally. She deserved depths of love that she had not seen in years. Depths of love that Inej wasn't sure she would ever see again.

"That's not news Wylan," you remind him. Wylan chuckles, a small controlled burst of light rising up from what he is mixing.

"Okay, not that," he mumbles to himself before looking back at you. "You are looking for answers in me," Wylan looks away before finishing, "when I am not the one who can give them to you."

"Says the boy fawning over the sharpshooter," you say a little too quickly.

Wylan bites down on his lower lip, and his tone is somewhat sarcastic as he replies, "I am not digging in the wrong cemetery."

"I am not digging," you argue.

"Then why is this the same conversation we have had eight time?" Wylan asks.

"Because what else do I do with my feelings, bury them like Kaz?"

"Now we are getting somewhere," Wylan says.

"No, bringing up Brekker is not progress."

"Isn't it? Isn't that really why you and I are walking these circles? I think this whole thing has everything to do with Brekker."

Wylan's words are swimming around your mind and they're almost drowning out the soft sounds of Inej's whispering. You watch her steps, seeing how she moves but doesn't make a sound, every step like she is walking that tight rope, like she is preforming for a crowd and yet no one but herself. She doesn't work with a net, she is endlessly graceful and boundlessly powerful in her capabilities, but by the Saints she has you falling every time, every height is endless, every edge a precipice, every single step a fall risk. You fall every time.

But she is in love with him. You know that. Of course you know that. You cannot see Inej in every shade of light and not notice. Kaz Brekker captured a heart long before he had the power to realise it, long before he could even question if he deserved it. Kaz Brekker had caught the only thing in Ketterdam worth a damn. You knew it, he knew it. She knew you knew it too. She knows that you're smart enough to be able to see it, even if she tries to keep it away, even if she tries to make it not true. He is a weakness she never intended to have. He is a heart she never wanted to want for, to reach after, to desire. But against all her logic and all her wants, all her best intentions, Kaz Brekker had saved her, and she wanted to save him in return. One minute he made her blush and the next he made her want to commit murder, but nothing seemed to make her feelings for him falter. Kaz Brekker, The Bastard Of The Barrel, a man you could never envy for any other reason, but for this one the green inside you glowing, filling every part of you. You have never wanted for anything that was not yours, except maybe this, except maybe her. She could never be yours, she could never be anyone's, and you would never want her to be. She belongs to no one but herself and her Saints and you would make sure you did everything in your power to keep that true for as long as you draw breath.

"It's so quiet," Inej whispers, but her voice doesn't carry on the wind, even the air daren't carry her words too far from her. Even the air is selfish in wanting to keep her close.

"I am in love with you," you say, matching her quietness but not bothering to disguise your words, not playing with your tone, if Inej was anyone else her footing would have slipped, but she is Inej Ghafa. So all of the unsteadiness stays within her walls.

"You..." Inej pauses. "What?"

"I know you love him, and I will not ask you to change. I only ask... is there any part of you that could love me too?" You say.

Maybe she had known, a part of her had known, she supposes, in the way a person knows things that they never really have the time to shine the light on. But to you Inej is all light, all the time, and you'd never entertained the idea that she might know, so you find your own words surprising but you suppose inevitable.

Inej looks at you and it is not unlike her memories are falling around the two of you like parade feathers.

"I love that one," you tell her, offering her a slice of toast across the table.

"That what?" she asks, taking it without a second thought.

"That smile," you grin to yourself, "the one like the world doesn't weigh you down, the one that feels like it belongs to a different lifetime."

She blinks. "I..."

"Maybe a star," Inej says, looking at the sky. You follow her gaze upward.

"Any particular one?" you ask her, charting out the constellations in your mind.

"I don't know, what star would you have me name myself after?" she asks, as if this game was something just the two of you were sharing, as if Jesper and Nina weren't a few steps away complaining about the bitter night air.

"Well if you were to take on a name of a star in this fancy new life of yours where you're someone entirely new, would you wear different colours?" you ask. Inej laughs, tracing a hand over her clothing like she is dusting off armour.

"I don't think I could," she admits. You point out a star and offer up it's name to her as a gift with a wicked smile. She stares at the star, rolling it's name over her tongue, she likes it, but she doesn't understand how you could choose a name for her so quickly, with such confidence. "Why?"

"It's the star of freedom," you tell her, and as you see the star reflecting back in Inej's eyes, you know you're right.

You hear the tap of Kaz's cane on the stones and you reach out to Inej who is stood in her memories, like a gallery she had been awaiting a walk through for some time. "Inej?"

"I do not think-,"

"If you're about to say anything about Inej's skillset not being suitable, you certainly do not," you snap back. Kaz glowers at you, and you know his concern for her safety isn't to be dismissed, even if he will deny that is what it is. But this isn't about that. Inej can do this, Inej was born to do this, and you will not let the barrel rat let her think any less of herself.

"We won't have time for a net or any type of precaution," Kaz says through gritted teeth.

"I don't work with a net," Inej says. She looks at you, searching for the smallest amount of doubt, but you show none.

"Inej can do this Brekker, if you have any doubts then you clearly do not understand your crew."

"I understand my investments perfectly, otherwise I would not undertake them," Kaz says, getting more irritated by you by the moment.

"Then let her do this," you say, "she's Inej Ghafa, have you seen a single thing she cannot do?"

"This whole time," she says, blinking back into the moment.

"Kaz is waiting," you say.

"This whole time?" It's a question now, and the question cannot go unanswered.

"Yes," you tell her, "this whole time." She doesn't know what next to say and you barely give her the chance. "Kaz is waiting."

"He can wait a moment more," she says, "he said he didn't need me, remember."

"And he is a fool," you say, "I don't think he has ever needed you more."

"And you?"

"I can wait, I am very good at waiting."

#shadow and bone #grishaverse #six of crows #inej ghafa #inej x reader #inej ghafa x reader #kanej

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aoibhinnslater04 · 4 months

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SOC x ACOTAR

Chapter 4: Nothing left to lose

Ok, so I know I'm late but I had exams, a severe hangover and work, so this took a bit and isn't my best work.

Don't hate me!! :)

Word count: 1408

Trigger warnings, kidnapping, grief, mind control

Inej leaned against Jesper with her eyes closed, her mind whirring. She knew they had to get out, knew Kaz wouldn’t accept the insult of a negotiation where he was at a disadvantage, and knew they had to escape. Now.

Kaz didn’t know of their abilities, he would do something stupid that would end up with them being in a hell of a lot more danger than they were in now, and would likely drag Wylan, Nina and Matthias into this mess too.

Inej had been trying to come up with a plan for ages now, since she woke up, but she kept remembering the disturbing and violating feeling of Rhysand’s power over her. At least at the menagerie she had some semblance of control of her body, but this? This was a whole new level of being out of control. It was like he had stripped her naked. She didn’t know how much he had seen of her memories, but either way it was too much. No one knew as much as he did now, and that was just as disturbing a thought as the power that achieved it. Even Nina, her best friend, who had helped her through her worst moments, calmed her heart when she awoke from panicked nightmares and held her while she cried, didn’t know all her thoughts like he did now.

Jesper shifted slightly, and she looked up at him. She knew he likely felt just as violated, as well as betrayed. He had told her all about his new friend Cassian on their way to Vassa’s, and she felt a slight pang of sympathy. Her friend had such a good heart, and he didn’t deserve this. But she sat up, and tried to push every thought out of her head, and turn her mind towards escape.

“We have to get out of here”, she said, her voice still shaking slightly. “Kaz doesn’t know what these people are capable of, so any kind of retaliation isn’t going to work. And they'll likely take it out on us, then.”

“Cassian won’t let them hurt us”, Jesper interjected.

“Jesper, Cassian is the one who told them how to find us and helped them take us! He’s not your friend. He’s not someone we can count on! Sitting here, we’re prey. We’ve been prey long enough.”

She softened slightly at the sadness in his eyes, and took his hand.

“Let’s get out of here so we can become the predators again.”

~~~~~

Jesper glanced back as the tortured scream echoed down the hall, and he grabbed Inej’s hand again to tug her along with him as he ran faster. Not that the Wraith was slow, but she didn’t have the long legs he did, and by the sounds of it, they needed to be out of here like an hour ago, and neither of them wanted to test the limits of Rhysand’s powers, especially when they were this close to freedom. And whatever had caused that scream, he knew they were running out of time.

Suddenly, he stopped short. He felt a tug in the corner of his mind, the smallest part of him that he had allowed himself to search for their weapons with his Durast abilities, pulling him towards a room down another hall. He pulled Inej, despite her furious, whispered protests before opening the door of a small office, one with the most beautiful view over a fast-moving river. He shook his head slightly to stop himself from getting distracted, and grabbed the two pistols and pouch of bullets from the desk. He pulled open a bag beside them to discover Inej’s collection of knives. He goes to pass them to her, but notices her staring at an obsidian hilted knife, protected by a dark scabbard with silver runes. “We can take that too”, he told her, grabbing it and turning back to the door, ready to rush out again, until he hears loud yells nearby. They weren’t going to make it. Their escape had been discovered.

He didn’t hear Inej move until her hand was grabbing his once more. This time, he could feel it shaking. Inej wasn’t one to show fear, so this scared him almost more than the threat of the angry mob coming towards them. But her voice was strong as she whispered, “the window. We’re directly over the river, we can both swim, and we’re desperate. If he gets his clutches in our minds again, we’ll never be able to leave.”

He looked at her, and saw the determined look in her dark eyes. So he squeezed her hand. And pulled the trigger. And glass showered all over them.

~~~~~

Cassian heard glass shatter down one of the many halls and ran down to Azriel’s office, where the prisoner’s weapons were currently being stored. He pulled open the door just quickly enough to see Inej leap gracefully from the windowsill, and to see Jesper make a vulgar gesture towards him before following the Wraith. He ran to the window, and saw them being pulled with the tide in a direction he knew led to the Harbour. Oh shit. Rhys had just lost his leverage.

The Inner Circle were all sitting in their living room, a stunned silence hanging over them all. Even Feyre had stopped sobbing, only the occasional tear trickling down her pale face. They had gone so quickly from being in control to being left with less than before, with Nyx missing as well as the prisoners. Rhys stood up, his face going from the picture of devastation to uncontrolled rage, and Cassian almost shivered, like the room had changed temperature.

“The Dregs have no idea who they’re messing with. They thought we were dangerous before? They haven’t seen anything”, he snarled, the promise of violent death clear in his voice. “We have nothing left to lose. Game on.”

The pained silence that followed their nodding was only broken by Azriel’s gloomy tone.”I still can’t believe they took Truth-Teller.”

~~~~~

Nina ran to the deck of the boat she was travelling on when she heard the cries of “man overboard!” She had been travelling with this crew for weeks now, between her journey to Ravka, her quest for Zoya and the journey back, and while she would never exchange her life with the Crows for a life at sea, she had grown fond of them, so she wanted to help however she could. However, when she reached the surface, blinking as her eyes adjusted to the new level of light, she saw Jesper and Inej in front of her, shivering and pale. She blinked again as though the light was deceiving her, showing her who she wanted to see when they landed, but no, Inej and Jesper were really there.

Nina squealed and ran towards them, throwing her arms around them and nearly knocking them to the floor. She thought maybe Jesper was dripping sea water onto her face as she felt coldness fall down her rosy cheeks, but realised she was crying as they gripped her tightly back, as if they were scared to let go. She had been so worried when Kaz had told her they were missing, presumably captured by this mysterious Rhysand, and she had convinced the crew to stop at a dodgy island marketplace on their way back to Ketterdam to pick up supplies for Wylan. But here they were, whole and safe in front of her.

She released them, but kept gripping Inej’s hand tightly, as though the Wraith would float away on the breeze, and she turned to Jesper, saying “I have some spare towels in my room. Follow me.”

Nina kept glancing worriedly back at the pair behind her, looking so pale and scared. When they got to her cabin, she threw them a towel each, before collapsing on her bed and saying “spill”. Her face fell more and more with each word they spoke, pressing tightly against one another as if they were the only thing they could be sure of. Which, Nina supposed, was probably pretty accurate based on what she had just heard. She had never heard of any Grisha having the powers Rhysand was supposed to have, unless they were on jurda parem, although it didn’t sound like that was the case. And now they were after the Crows? Oh no, this wasn’t going to end well at all….

#acotar #feysand #feyre #acomaf #inej ghafa #kaz brekker #six of crows #azriel #netflix shadow and bone #azriel shadowsinger #nina zenik #matthias helvar #kanej #cassian #wylan van eck #jesper fahey #rhysand #grishaverse

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rose-sophia-isabella-rogers · 11 months

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A Tale of Stolen Hearts: Chapter XIII - No Matter What Will Happen, My Heart Beats for You

Chapter Summary: What fate will the King decide for you?

Pairing: Aleksander Kirigan/Reader, Wylan Hendriks/Jesper Fahey

Characters: Aleksander Kirigan, Reader, Zoya Nazyalensky, Tolya Yul-Bataar, Kaz Brekker, Wylan Hendriks, Nina Zenik, Inej Ghafa, Jesper Fahey

Word Count: 3838

A/N: moi tsar – my ruler, king sankta – saint Inspired by prompts: https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089577824/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089533269/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089577829/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089533253/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089550803/ The last scene in this chapter contains plot from the 5 episode of season 2.

Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or removed):

@budugu

@intothesoul

@mizelophsun11

@pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy

@zeeader

You are finally brought to the Throne Room in the Grand Palace. Your hands are bound, obviously, and spread apart. The whole chamber is filled with people, both Grisha and otkazat'sya. You even notice some familiar faces. You'd wave at them if you could.

King Alexander is sitting on his throne with his wife Tatiana next to him. You can see their sons, Vasily and Nikolai standing behind them. Only Nikolai, the youngest son, is not sending daggers at you with his eyes. He's looking at you more with curiosity. You stare back at them all calmly, bravely.

'You know why you are here,' King's voice silences all whispers. 'You are accused of treason, murder of a member of the royal family, my nephew, Pyotr Landsov. To escape punishment, you faked your own death and lived in hiding. But the justice finally caught up with you. The First Army caught you-'

'After I saved their asses,' you put in. You swear you can hear Tatiana's snicker masked with a cough.

'Do not interrupt your King!' Alexander III booms.

'I just think people here should know all the facts, before you convict me, you know?' you ask. 'Like, for example, what happened that day?'

'Nothing you have to say would justify such crime,' the King says, glaring at you. You raise your chin and give him a challenging look.

'How about this?' you ask. 'Your darling nephew tried to force himself on me.'

Some people gasp. The Queen stops glaring at you. Nikolay's eyes go wide. King freezes at those words.

'Oh, you haven't heard the best part yet,' you say, looking around at the gathered people. 'He said it's a normal thing in his party. That he "tests" all women in there this way.'

Your eyes find a girl you remember seeing that day. She looks down. You notice her fists clenching.

'No one ever said about such thing before,' the King dismisses you. You bark a humourless laugh.

'How could they?' you ask. 'Most likely instead of getting help or having this put to stop, they would be thrown out of the army… or worse. Or the usual thing would happen. They would be told it was their fault. Because that's how it usually goes. Rape victims are blamed for what happened, instead of getting help. What I did was a crime, I don't deny that. But he at least suffered for a short time. His victims may still be traumatised because of what happened. I still have nightmares about what he almost did. Because the rape doesn't end for the victim when their abuser is done with them. They have to live with the memory of that forever.'

'Show some respect to the dead!' the King booms.

'He showed me none when he was alive,' you spat with venom but then your look softens. 'I don't say he deserved what I did to him. I didn't mean for that to happen. But fear of what he tried to do caused me to lose control of my abilities for a moment. And that was enough for a disaster to happen. I'm sorry I've caused you and your family grief. Yes, I ran that day. I've been running for most of my life. But I'm done with that today. I'll take consequences for my actions. Just remember, before giving me my punishment, I'm not the only one to blame for what happened.'

You can hear whispers in the room. You face the emperor bravely. He's almost steaming with rage.

'There's only one possible punishment for what you did,' the King says. 'And it's death!'

'Moi tsar, if I may…' you hear a familiar voice. The King almost sighs, you can hear it.

'General Kirigan,' he says, nodding his head, but it's clear he's not happy. Kirigan steps out from the crowd and joins you. You don't look at each other, not wanting the gathered to know about your relationship. It could cause you more harm.

'I don't claim what Miss [L/N] did wasn't wrong or justified,' Kirigan starts. 'But she's right that we should take the circumstances into consideration as well. And like she said, she didn't intend to kill him. It was… more of a self-defence. Could she control her abilities more? Maybe. But let's not forget she didn't train in the Little Palace, she was self-taught. Control of emotions is hard to accomplish by yourself. That said, I don't believe she deserves to be executed for what she did.'

'Why do you defend her so much, General?' the King asks, tilting his head to the side. 'You barely know her. You spent what? Weeks together?'

'I know her enough,' Kirigan says. 'She's impetuous and daring, a little too bold and way too fearless.'

You shrug. That sounds about right.

'And most importantly… she's not a murderer,' Kirigan says and points at the Grisha. 'On the contrary, she's a hero. All of those people are alive right now… because of her. She's the one who risked her life and destroyed the device meant to doom all Grisha. Fjerdans were about to use it in the battle we had two days later. We would lose very quickly if it had happened. We were close to losing anyway. And we didn't because of her. If we're talking today about her actions, let's not forget about those as well. Because, quite possibly, we all are alive here today thanks to her.'

Silence fills the room. The King looks around the room. He doesn't like some stares he gets. Because Kirigan is right. You did save Ravka. For most you are a Saint. Killing you now and after you revealed you did it because you had been almost raped… would just make you more of a martyr for the people.

'Very well,' the King finally says. 'General Kirigan is right. We can't forget how you helped save Ravka… for which we are grateful. However, it does not absolve you of your crimes. Hereby, you are banished from Ravka. You have a month to settle your matters and a day to leave Os Alta. If you are found on Ravkan territory after that… death awaits you.'

Banishment. Better than death but… you still can't have what you really want.

'Thank you for your mercy, moi tsar,' you say, bowing your head. You almost vomit saying those words. The King waves his hands. You are taken out of the Throne Room. Only outside you will be freed from your bonds. While you're leaving, you cast a glance behind your back. Your eyes meet Kirigan. The sadness in his eyes is as deep as the one in yours.

A month has passed. You were preparing to leave the Ravka. That requires a trip through the Fold. The King truly was cruel. But hey, you came back from the dead, so what are a few Volcras to you, right?

On the day you are about to set out to the Fold, Kirigan arrives to bid you goodbye. You welcome him in your (for a few more minutes) apartment with a smile.

'How are things in Os Alta?' you ask. He takes off his coat and puts it on your armchair.

'Half of the kingdom wants you dead,' he sighs.

'Wow, a month ago it was the whole kingdom,' you say and grin. 'Things are looking up!'

'Please, stop joking about it,' Kirigan says, glaring at you. You shrug.

'You know it's my defence mechanism,' you say. But you allow your walls to drop. Kirigan looks at you softly, seeing how vulnerable and scared you are.

'At least you are alive,' he says, walking toward you. You send him a weak smile. He takes your hands in his.

'Thanks to you,' you say. 'I didn't get to say it then, so let me now. Thank you. If it weren't for what you said, I'd…'

'I promised you, remember?' he asks. 'That I'd fight for you.'

You can feel tears in your eyes. You try to blink them away. Kirigan notices it and lets you go. You walk away and busy yourself with gathering your things, while also drying your eyes.

'What are you going to do now?' Kirigan asks after a moment.

'I'm heading to Ketterdam,' you answer. 'Sounds like a good place for me. Then… I'll see. Maybe I'll move to a different town. Maybe I'll travel. Maybe I'll spend there the rest of my life, however long or short it would be.'

'You are a powerful Grisha,' Kirigan says. 'If you use your powers often and master them, who knows? Maybe you could be immortal. Or nearly immortal.'

'No, no, no,' you quickly say, turning to him. 'I don't want to become immortal! Who'd want to live with themselves for that long?'

Kirigan barks a laugh. You grin at him. Then you look at your things.

'Right,' you say. 'I think that's about it.'

'Let me help you,' Kirigan says and walks to you. Together you take your things outside. There you pack it to carriage your sister got for you. Or rather your luggage. You're going to ride on Hector. Elizabeth claims he's grown fond of you. You just think she wants to get rid of him, because he doesn't listen to anyone.

'Right, time for me,' you sigh and turn to Kirigan. 'You know, my life really took a turn from a year ago.'

'I know,' Kirigan says, taking your hand in his and then pulls you to himself suddenly. 'You thought you were insatiable but then you met me.'

'You think too highly of yourself,' you say, raising your eyebrows. Kirigan smirks.

'Am I not everything you wanted?' he teases you.

'I wanted a little less arrogance,' you answer. Kirigan laughs. You grin. But then your smile becomes sadder.

'I've missed that laugh,' you say. 'And I'm going to miss it again.'

'I know,' Kirigan says quietly, his eyes filled with sadness as well. 'I wish… I wish you told me about your plan. Then I…'

'What?' you ask. 'You'd come with me?'

'Maybe,' Kirigan answers, shrugging. 'We will never know, because you robbed me of that choice.'

You bite your lip. You shake your head.

'I was really considering it, you know,' you say. 'Telling you of my plan and asking you to run away with me. But… I couldn't do that to you. Because I know how hard you work to keep all Grisha safe. If you had run with me… all of that would have been for nothing.'

'So, that's a "no" to considering allowing me to go with you now?' Kirigan asks. You smile sadly.

'You would hate it, Kirigan,' you say. 'And maybe hate me again after some time.'

'I don't think I could,' Kirigan says after a moment. 'Hate you again. There's no coming back to how things were between us. And… call me "Aleksander".'

You smile. He smiles back and cups your face.

'One day… you will be able to return,' he says. 'I promise.'

'Or maybe one day the war will be over and you will be able to come to me,' you say. Aleksander chuckles humourlessly.

'After all that time?' he asks. 'I doubt it.'

'Never lose hope,' you say. Aleksander nods. He leans to you, closing his eyes. You close your eyes and answer the coming kiss.

'I still hate your lips on mine,' you whisper and he chuckles. 'I will miss it so much.'

'Never lose hope,' Aleksander says your words back to you. You roll your eyes and pull away. But you cup his cheek.

'I love you,' you say, causing him to smile. 'Remember that. Nothing will change that. I will always love you.'

'And you remember, that no matter what, my heart is yours,' Aleksander says. 'It beats for you. Only for you.'

You smile. How you wish you could have more time… Alas, the rich and powerful just love to make people like you miserable.

'Time to go,' you whisper and move away from Aleksander. You mount Hector and look at Aleksander. He grabs your hand for a moment longer.

'Farewell… Aleksander,' you say, trying not to fall apart.

'Not "farewell",' he says, shaking his head. 'It's: see you next time.'

'See you next time, then,' you laugh. Aleksander forces a smile. He takes a step back.

'May Saints be with you,' you say.

'I only want one Saint to be with me,' Aleksander says. You roll your eyes.

'Oh, you will not let me live this one down,' you say. Aleksander smirks.

'Not likely,' he says and his look softens. 'Be careful.'

'You as well,' you say, forcing a smile. You look at the driver of your carriage and nod. It's time to set off. You wink one last time at Aleksander and make your horse turn around. Then your smile falls and tears well in your eyes. You cry as you ride away from Caryeva, your life… and the one you love. This time, you don't turn back. It would be too painful.

'So, what exactly are we waiting for?' Tolya Yul-Bataar asks.

'For information about the Neshyenyer,' Kaz Brekker answers. 'And if my contact, who's also the best thief I know, agrees, she will also help us if it would be required to steal it.'

Zoya freezes. She frowns, as she connects the information from Kaz. She. Best thief. Here in Ketterdam.

'Saints,' Zoya sighs. 'Do not tell me…'

Before anyone can ask her what she means, Kaz straightens up, seeins someone behind Zoya and Tolya. They turn and Zoya curses under her breath.

You walk into the building and look around. Locating Kaz, you head toward him, smiling.

'That was fast,' he comments once you're close.

'Please, I'm the fan of that theft,' you say. 'I just needed to check a few details.'

Your eyes fall on Zoya and you stop talking. She looks at you with a smirk.

'From all the people I expected to see here, you're far on that list,' you say.

'Long time no see, [Y/N],' Zoya says. 'It's been years.'

'It's the moment you say you didn't miss me, right?' you ask.

'Well, maybe a little bit,' Zoya admits. You grin at her.

'I take it you know each other,' Kaz says. Ah, yes. He hates to be ignored.

'We've spent a few weeks together,' you say. 'But now back to business. What I found out is for all of you?'

'Yes,' Zoya confirms. You nod.

'So, as you probably know the Neshyenyer at Ahmrat Jen is fake,' you say. 'It's been stolen by a thief known as The Disciple. My personal hero, but about it later. He had a penchant for stealing Saint-related relics while on jobs.'

'So he's a thief and a collector?' Wylan Hendriks asks.

'And retired,' you add. 'But he has since put a few pieces of his collection on the black market.'

'So, to get to him, we go to his fence,' Tolya says.

'Ohval Saran,' you say, nodding. 'She has a tea shop in Bhez Ju. To speak with her, we have to order yellow chrysanthemum tea, off-menu. That's all I know. The rest is up to you.'

'Wouldn't you want to help?' Kaz asks. 'We may need to steal it, worst case scenario. Think about it, stealing from the Disciple.'

'Mm, don't tempt me, Kaz,' you say, smiling.

'We could use your skills,' Tolya says. 'It's really important. Prince Nikolay will pay any price.'

'Prince Nikolay?' you ask, your smile fading. 'This is who you are getting the sword for?'

'We are getting it for Alina Starkov, but on Prince Nikolay's orders,' Wylan answers. You frown.

'Why would Alina Starkov need it?' you ask.

'To destroy the Darlking's indestructible army of shadow monsters,' Tolya answers. Zoya, who for the past few minutes has been trying to get them all to stop talking, hides her face in her hand. She misses the way your body freezes.

'The Darkling… he's alive?' you ask.

'And kicking,' Tolya confirms, nodding. 'He won't stop at nothing to get what he wants.'

It costs you everything to calm your heart. You didn't want to believe the news. That Aleksander has expanded the Fold. That he died. That he gave his heart to Sun Summoner for her to reject him. But now you hear that all of that is true. Well, you're still not sure about the last one.

'I don't want gold,' you say after a moment of silence, during which everyone in the team has been watching you. 'I want something else.'

'Name it,' Tolya says. 'Prince Nikolay is a man of his word.'

'I want my banishment from Ravka revoked,' you say. Nina Zenik's eyes go wide when it clicks for her.

'Hold on,' she says. 'You're a thief, your name is [Y/N] and you were banished from Ravka? You're her, aren't you?'

'Sankta [Y/N],' Tolya says in awe, connecting the dots as well. You grimace.

'Please, don't call me that,' you say.

'But you are, aren't you?' Tolya asks. 'You stole the device that threatened all Grisha from Fjerdans. And then killed almost all of them during the battle.'

'You also told the King some nasty words during your trial,' Nina says and chuckles. 'I wasn't there at the time, but someone told me all about it. I was your number one fan from that day, I swear.'

'Why were you trailed and banished from Ravka?' Wylan asks. Silence falls around your group. You look at Wylan, your face blank.

'I killed the King's nephew,' you answer, causing him to flinch. 'In self-defence. He tried to force himself on me. It was a… an instinct. I didn't control my abilities as a Heartrender at the time.'

Wylan nods slowly, a bit unsure. You look at Zoya and Tolya.

'So?' you ask. 'Can you guarantee me I will be welcomed back in Ravka after I help you?'

'Like I said, Prince Nikolai is a man of his word,' Tolya says seriously, nodding. You shrug.

'Great,' you say and look at Kaz. 'Consider me convinced, then.'

'Good,' Kaz says but then something behind you distracts him. You turn and see his two friends walking down the stairs – Inej Ghafa and Jesper Fahey. Kaz walks to talk (or rather argue) with Inej. Jesper notices you and grins. He walks to you.

'[Y/N], are you coming with us?' he asks.

'Yes, I'm promised I can go back to Ravka if we succeed,' you answer. Behind you Tolya and Nina walk away together, talking about something.

'Already bored with our beautiful Ketterdam?' Jesper asks, smirking. You smile slightly. You can feel Zoya's eyes on you. You shake your head.

'I simply have something to come back to,' you answer. You feel a hand on your shoulder. You turn your head and see Zoya. She points with her head to her right, letting you know she wants to speak with you in private. You nod and follow her to the side.

'Don't do it, [Y/N],' she says quietly. 'He's not worth it.'

'Don't do what?' you ask. Zoya scoffs and crosses her arms.

'I know you want to come back to Ravka to see him,' she says. 'You love him, don't you? I saw the way you looked at him when you were taken away from the Throne Room that day. And how he looked at you.'

You stare at Zoya silently. You don't know what to say to that. You know she had feelings for him, too.

'He's not the man he wanted us to believe he is,' she says softly. 'Anyway, you spent only a few weeks with him. You can't risk everything for such short acquaintance.'

'I didn't spend only a few weeks with him,' you say, raising your chin. Zoya frowns at you. Her mouth parts when the realisation dawns on her.

'Every time he was leaving the Little Palace and was gone longer than he should… he was crossing the Fold to see you,' she guesses. You nod and smile sadly at the memories of seeing Aleksander during the past few years. But it falls quickly.

'He stopped at some point, though,' you say. 'Around the time the rumours about the Sun Summoner started.'

Zoya stares at you silently. She can understand your pain of being casted away, because she felt it when Alina showed up. And earlier when she was travelling to Fjerda with you.

'I don't think he really loves her,' she says. 'When I saw them together… it was like he was trying to make her like him. Around you he was more natural.'

'Thank you for saying that, Zoya,' you say with a small smile. 'Did you… Did you two during those years…?'

'Yes, but I always thought it was more to keep up an appearance,' Zoya answers and sighs. 'Maybe you really stole his heart. But he's still not worth it, [Y/N]. What he did… and what he wants to do…'

'Deep down, do you still care about him?' you ask. Zoya flinches. She sighs and nods.

'He was the first person that made me feel loved,' you say, looking at her pleadingly. 'If there's a chance I can get through to him, save him… I have to take it. Or just see him one last time.'

'What if you don't?' Zoya challenges you. 'What if we have to kill him?'

You bite your lips. What would you do? Would you let them? Or would you protect Aleksander?

'I don't know,' you answer honestly. 'I really don't know, Zoya.'

Zoya stares at you. She sighs after a moment.

'Fine,' she says. 'I'll help you save him. Or convince others to let you do that. If anyone can actually stop him, it's you.'

'Thank you!' you say and surprise her with a hug.

'We're still not friends,' she says and pulls away. You smirk and wink at her.

'Tell yourself that,' you say. Zoya rolls her eyes but smiles slightly.

'Pack what you need and meet us here,' she says.

'Already packed,' you say, shrugging. 'Ever since I faked my own death, I have the essentials packed. You know, in case I need to run.'

'Alright, just this time, please, don't bring assassins with you,' Zoya says and heads toward the rest.

'Don't worry, every assassin in Ketterdam now knows better than to go after me,' you say, grinning. Jasper laughs.

'Oh, I remember that,' he says. 'It was both hilarious and terrifying.'

'I don't want to know,' Zoya sighs. 'What about the ones in Shu-Han?'

'Well, it's my first time going there, so no one wants me dead there,' you answer.

'Yet,' Zoya says grimly. 'They will want the moment they meet you.'

You stick out your tongue at her. She scoffs and shakes her head. You look at your team and smile. Maybe together you will manage to get that sword. And save Aleksander from his own stupidity.

A/N: Thank you for reading! Let me know your thoughts! Reblog, like and comment if you could.

This can also be found on Archive of Our Own: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47256868/chapters/120506770

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swanimagines · 2 years

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Hey there! I love your fics (especially the ones of SaB) and i'm wondering if you are open to do a drabble of Kaz Brekker and a GN reader with Another Love by Thomas Odell. Congrats on 2k, you deserve everyone of them 🥰

Fandom: Shadow and Bone/Six of Crows

A/N: The song sounds like this piece should end in breakup but as I don't write full angst anymore, I came up with another solution. Also why is Y/N a bartender at the Crow Club in my every fic where they're not a Crow or a Dreg... 😂

Word count: 668

You were something Kaz had believed he would never meet, or even could. He was the monster in shadows, the reason why children weren't allowed to go out at night if they were unfortunate enough to live in the Dreg area. And yet you had appeared into his life, treating him like any other Dreg. Smiling at him, making up small talk and just... looking at him as if he was a human, not that evil demon everyone seemed to think he was, and from which he had taken pride of.

The very fact that your presence made him happy scared the hell out of him. Feelings were dangerous, and he knew that if you would die on a job, it would feel like his world collapsed on itself, because without you there, he wouldn't know how to keep himself sane. So he was rude to you instead, dismissing your opinions and inputs completely, even telling you to shut up a few times.

"You're not a Crow nor a Dreg, you're here to serve us drinks, I don't need to hear your opinion," he'd say, followed by you sighing. Inej noticed the regret flashing in Kaz's eyes when he said that, but said nothing on the spot. Nina heard his heartbeat and Jesper knew his best friend enough to know if he meant something or not - and when Kaz was like that to you, he definitely did it to hide something. It was a show, he tried so hard to be coldly impassive about it all.

Soon all the Crows knew exactly how Kaz felt about you, and they admired how you seemed to keep your bright face up even when Kaz was acting like an ass to you. Jesper wanted to tell Kaz to stop playing and try to show you how he feels, Nina made teasing remarks about his heart and Inej tried to talk him into apologizing to you at night when she brought information. They were all waiting for him to finally realize what a fool he was being, but he was too stubborn to give in to them.

Kaz couldn't understand why he cared for someone who had no benefit to him. When a drunk got into a fight with you when you didn't agree to let them drink more, he was always there to throw them out before they'd lay their hands on you. He saw you get hit with a bottle once and you had gotten a wound on your head, Kaz was just about to go over and help you as the first person but managed to stop himself when he saw Nina and Jesper already on the way. It was better that way, him helping you in front of everyone wouldn't have had ideal consequences, he would have been seen as weak if he had done that. And not to speak of him trying to hide his feelings from you, what would you think if he had just appeared beside you and offered to help you after trying to act like he doesn't care for so long?

But still, he couldn't help but want to take you somewhere beautiful so you'd have a hint of how he felt about you, maybe he could even tell you how he feels, or buy you... flowers?

He wanted to love you, but he wasn't sure if he ever could show it to you. He wanted to make you feel alright when he found you crying in the back room instead of just standing there for a moment and then leaving. He wanted to be able to comfort you, hug you, kiss the top of your head and mumble comforting words against your skin, but he knew he wasn't ready for anything like that.

But someday, he would be. Someday you could become his friend, more than friend, he would be more than just your boss, and maybe someday he would be able to show his love like he wanted to show it...

---

Tags: @musicallisto @take-me-to-ny @retvenkos @number-0-iz @kaqua @readingslumpfanfic @dancingwith-sunflowers @shadowhuntyi @rika90 @imma-too-many-fandoms @the-abyss-gazed-back @thereagles @louweasleymalfoy @malfoys-demigod @mxltifxnd0m @dustyjjumpwings @whatiswrongwithpeople @ellora-brekker @brekkers-desigirl @heyitsaloy @mentallynotstableghost @scandalous-chaos @nyx2021 @peter-parkers-cullen-nerd @supervalcsi @doutorbaizhu @bb-skyrunner @lightprincess-world @animalistic0 @story-scribbler @writingmysanity @lovemenotplz @directioner5life @imaginesfire @thevipers-world // send in an ask to be added, and specify which of my fandoms you want to be tagged on! Don’t just say “can you add me to your taglist” as I can’t know what taglists do you mean by that!! ALSO IF YOU WON’T INTERACT BEYOND LIKING, I’LL EVENTUALLY TAKE YOU OFF THE LIST!!

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x you #shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone x reader #sab #sab imagine #sab x reader #my works #gn reader #kaz brekker drabble #drabble

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sophierequests · 1 year

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hello ! i would like to congratulate you for your 100 followers. i discovered your work some days ago and it’s pure gold for real !! it’s so amazing ! 💓

by the way, i saw that you requests are open and i had a little idea on my mind. could it be possible a jesper fahey x reader where reader and him are best friends. reader doesn’t like to show her emotions and tends to deny feelings she has for him, being quite harsh sometimes. then one day he confronts her about her behavior and she admits her feelings ?

i don’t know if it’s interesting and if you want to write it. if you don’t, it’s okay don’t worry about it ! and i’m sorry if i made some mistakes since english isn’t my first language.

falling for you, fool's gold

Navigation┃Main Masterlist┃Requests

Pairing: Jesper Fahey x f!Reader

A/N: Hi! First of all, thank you sm for the compliment, I'm so thankful that you enjoy my writing <333 Jesper fics give me life, so I'd probably write everything if it involves our favourite sharpshooter. But I really enjoyed your request, so I hope you like this, sweet anon!

Summary: Suppressed feelings create some unwanted tensions.

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Word Count: 2.2K

Warnings: Mention of gambling and alcohol

“When are you finally going to put us out of our misery and just ask him out?” You almost choked on your drink when Nina said that. The two girls sitting across from you only giggled after seeing your eyes widen ever so slightly.

“I have absolutely no clue who you are talking about.” Lie. You knew exactly who they were talking about. Even though you tried to hide your feelings as best as you could, Nina could feel the way your heart skipped a beat whenever he was around, so it obviously didn’t take Kaz’s level of deduction skills to figure that out.

“Dirty liar.” She whispered, leaning towards you with a devilish grin, almost tipping over the glass of whiskey in front of her whilst doing so. Inej only gave you an apologetic smile, but you knew that she was enjoying this just as much as Nina did.

“Nina’s right, Y/N. It would do you both some good if you would just tell him. And we could finally stop walking on eggshells whenever Jesper and you are in the same room.”

“I understand where you’re coming from, but Jesper and I are just friends.” Nina let out a dramatic groan, throwing her arm on the table and resting her head on top of it, looking up at you with pleading eyes. Always the drama queen. "There are absolutely no romantic feelings involved."

“Where are no romantic feelings involved? What are you girls gossiping about?” Jesper suddenly appeared in front of you, visibly in the mood to join in on the conversation. Maybe you should order a new drink.

“Y/N’s dating life - or the lack thereof.” The Heartrender answered quickly, stifling a laugh when she saw the look of horror that flashed over your face when she said that. Thankfully, Jesper hadn't noticed it, instead raising an inquisitive brow at you before he shoved himself into the booth beside you.

“That's a topic which I'll gladly stay for!" He gave you a wink, swiftly putting his arm around your shoulders and pulling you a bit closer to his side. Saints, how you hated this.

However, you also hated hating this. He was your best friend. Hugging, touching, and occasionally flirting were something you had always done. You had never been uncomfortable with that before until you started to realize that you might think of him a little differently than you initially thought. He didn't deserve to be subjected to your - probably very much unrequited - feelings and all the effects it had on your behaviour towards him.

"I don't think she necessarily wants you to stay," Inej commented slyly, causing Jesper to frown and direct his attention back to you again.

"Why's that? Do I play a role in it?" He inquired with a smug smile playing across his lips. "Have I missed you pouring your heart out and telling everyone about the crush you have on me?"

"In your dreams, Fahey." You tried to play off the stinging embarrassment you felt. You wanted to focus on something else, stir the conversation in another direction, but whenever you tried to do so, you were made painfully aware of the way his arm laid on your shoulders. The way his hand mindlessly played with some strands of your hair, twirling it around his finger. The way his breath felt hot against your neck when he spoke to you. This was terrible.

"Oh come on, you know it's the truth." It was an obvious joke, you could hear it in his tone. But it made you feel even smaller than you felt before.

"No." Yes.

"You'll do eventually." This sounded less like a joke, the wink accompanying it didn't help.

"Just drop it, Jesper." You shrugged off his shoulder dismissively, resulting in him giving Nina and Inej a confused glance before carefully retreating his arm. You never called him 'Jesper' unless you were mad at him, so why would you start now? But he just couldn't put a finger on what might have annoyed you. Did he take it too far with one of his jokes? You had never minded him saying things like that.

"Okay?" He put emphasis on drawing out the word as long as he could, his expression changing from confused to worried. He wanted nothing more than to ask what was wrong, however, judging by your previous reaction, you probably wouldn't appreciate that very much.

Inej managed to lead the conversation in another direction - one that wouldn't force you to talk about things you didn't want to say out loud - but the tension between you and Jesper didn't die down by any means. The tension only got stronger the longer the silence settled. And in the evening, you didn't even hit him before returning to the Slat. He made an effort to ask the two girls that remained in their respective seats at the club, with no result. They simply feigned a clueless expression before leaving him to figure it out by himself.

The following week didn't help turn things around. Quite the opposite actually. It managed to make things even more awkward. You didn't sit as close to him as you used to during meetings. You skipped certain meals if that meant that you didn't have to be around him for any longer than needed. And you weren’t up for spending nights at the club with him anymore. It was as if your friendship had been put on hold and you went back to being strangers again.

You didn’t necessarily enjoy this arrangement either, but you worried that you might let something slip whenever he was around you, so you tried your best to avoid him. It was only after one particularly draining day that you didn’t feel like spending the evening cooped up in your room and decided to spend some time in the living room. Most of the others seemed to be out, so you could enjoy the quiet and continue reading whatever novel had currently caught your interest.

This supposed peace didn’t last long. You didn’t even manage to finish one chapter until you heard footsteps coming up the stairs. That didn’t have to mean anything. It could literally be anyone. But of course, luck wasn’t on your side, and the only person you didn’t want to see walked through the door.

At first, he didn’t even notice you, completely focused on adjusting the holster of his guns. But as soon as he reached the couch, probably intending to also take some time to unwind, he paused for a second, staring you up and down as if he had never seen you before.

“Hi.” He broke the silence, standing only a few metres away from you with his hands fidgeting in front of him like a child that expected scolding.

You turned your head to face him, having hesitated to do so in hopes that he would just continue walking. His hair was slightly damp and so were his clothes, which told you that he probably just came back from drinking - or gambling -, since it had been raining outside for the last couple of hours. Normally, you would have joined him during and after his non-work-related trips to the club, providing him with whatever kind of support or company he needed. Not this time though.

“Hi.” He almost looked startled that you actually interacted with him, no matter whether it was only briefly before getting back to your book.

“I, uhm, do you mind if I join you in here?” That question hit you right where it hurt. Jesper would have never asked to simply be around you. He would have respected your boundaries had you said no, but that would have probably never been a real issue.

“No, I don’t.” You answered, giving him your best impression of an inviting smile, however, still quickly taking your eyes off of him.

He didn’t sit next to you how he usually would, instead turning to lounge on the couch opposite you, pulling out his revolvers to absent-mindedly clean them. You could see the occasional curious glances he gave you when he thought you weren’t looking, and it drove you mad that you were too afraid to properly interact with him.

“Listen, Y/N.” He started with a sigh, causing you to look up from your novel to focus on him. “I don’t really understand what I did wrong, but I know that something is wrong. But if you’re avoiding me because of what happened last week, I’m sorry. I should’ve just stopped when you told me to. I know that you don’t have feelings for me, and it was stupid of me to make you uncomfortable by acting like you do.”

“I wouldn’t have had a problem with you annoying me if it hadn’t been the truth.” You thought, biting the inside of your cheeks to not break out crying.

“What?” Shit, did you say that out loud? The befuddled look on his face gave you a clear answer to that. “What did you say?”

“Nothing that concerns you.” He sat up straight again, gaping at you with wide eyes. You really should’ve just gone to bed.

“That’s bullshit and you know it.” He moved to stand up, but so did you. Whatever he was about to do, you didn’t want to be part of it. “You can’t just say something like that and pretend like I’m not supposed to care about it.” A mixture of emotions flashed over his face, and you couldn’t quite pinpoint what his exact feelings were at this point, nor did you feel like figuring it out.

“Jesper, stop it.”

“No, I won’t. This does concern me, and I have every right to care about it.”

“We both say stuff we don’t mean. That doesn’t mean that we have to talk about it.” Jesper’s expression changed to one of exasperation. For the first time since knowing him, he looked genuinely mad.

“Stuff we don’t mean? Ignoring me for a week because of this issue doesn’t really feel like you didn’t mean it.” He tried to take a step towards you, but the closer he got, the further you stepped back. “Just talk to me, please!”

“Would you mind just shutting up? I don’t have feelings for you. This comment meant nothing, no matter how much you might read into it.” You didn’t mean to say that. You didn’t mean to yell at him. You didn’t mean to hurt him. But you did.

He was quiet for a moment. You saw the way his lips quivered, trying to bite back the hurt you had caused. You had never yelled at him before. Not even when anyone else would’ve probably been close to murdering him.

“Goodnight, Jesper.” You didn’t wait for him to reply. Without sparing him another glance, you dashed out of the room, flying up the stairs to your room before he could think about following you. You felt utterly terrible, and the only thing you wanted to do now was cry. Saints, you felt stupid.

“Y/N!” His voice paired with the sound of his footsteps followed you up the stairs. Can’t he just take a hint? Before you could even reach your room, he seized your wrist to spin you around. “I’m not letting you ignore me for another week.”

“Jes-”

“No, you’re not doing this again. You’re not shutting me out again.” His grip on your wrist tightened as he spoke, his gray eyes piercing yours intently. “You can talk to me about this. Please talk to me about this.” Even though everything inside you screamed at you to push him away, you simply nodded, dragging him with you towards your room, since you didn’t intend on airing out your personal problems in the middle of the Slat.

“I love you.” As soon as the door shut behind him, the three words you had dreaded saying out loud just tumbled out of your mouth. Jesper, who was still holding onto your hand, was caught completely off-guard by that confession. He had already roughly put together what was going on, but he hadn’t expected you to actually say it. “And I hate that I do. Because whether I would have kept it a secret or not, it would always have an effect on our friendship, and I never wanted that to-”

His lips were suddenly pressed against yours, his hands moving to hold onto your hips while you were rendered completely speechless. After taking a second to sort your thoughts out, you returned his gesture, allowing your arms to wrap around his neck, bringing him down a bit closer to you in the process. The kiss was messy and uncoordinated, you were sure that if he had leaned a bit further towards you, it would have ended in him toppling on top of you. All of the nervousness you had felt earlier was gone, replaced by a strong sense of warmth spreading inside your stomach. He liked you back.

“Maybe changing something about our friendship isn’t so bad after all.” You whispered before leaning in a second time, which he graciously accepted.

Taglist:

Grishaverse fics in general: @yesshewrites1 @dal-light

Jesper Fahey: @ell0ra-br3kk3r @writingmysanity @fall-writes

#jesper fahey x reader #jesper fahey #grishaverse x reader #grishaverse fanfic #shadow and bone x reader #grishaverse

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shieldagentnatasharomanoff · 7 months

Text

So it's my birthday and that means it's also the two year anniversary of me coming onto Tumblr :D it's been a blast and as this is what I did yesterday I want to shout out some of the wonderful people I met and friends I made on the way.

@supremestrangeness whose a brilliant writer and always seems to know how to carry a story endlessly yes...anding my silly whims and ideas. Nat loves the eldritch mess (in all his forms) and I am incredibly glad and ever greatful for your friendship!!

@cherryfinolahobbes anyone who says OC's shouldn't be part of fandoms should go and check out this blog right here. I don't think I've ever seen a muse woven through a fandom with so much care. The mun is just as wonderful, ever patient and happy to listen to my antics while go tackling house hold tasks. I wish we would chat more. I need to make more time for that!! (Also she's got brilliant recepies and food tips, honestly how can you not love that?)

@strxngemxgick I know this muse and mum haven't been around for a while. But they are such an infinitely wonderful and talented person. They've sparked my joy for artistic language and long form posts when there's a partner that matches the enthusiasm and length. I got to explore a softer side and more tragic stories with Nat in all our writing ant it is truly delightful. I hope they will one day decide to come back but even outside of Tumblr the mun is always considerate and so supportive. I'm always happy when they have a minute to chat.

@prplhawk As a fellow country person I am so happy you go along with all the silly AU ideas with a snap of the finger. The mun is amazing and such a flexible writer they catch their muse from silly moments to full fledged angst blood and gore. I miss you!!!! Let's write more crazy AU things!!!

@resignedworkaholics I've literally known nothing about James Bond when I met this lovely Q. And somehow a whole new spy world AU was born. I love the adorable sillyness of these two so much and I'm truly happy we get to write these stories. I know you've got tons going on. But I hope you're well and know you can reach out at anytime.

@ssolessurvivor If you ever need a friend. Logan is the one to call. Again. An amazing OC built and laced into so many worlds with a flexibility that still makes my head spin. I'm having so much fun with this wonderful little flirty friendship thing we have created and I can't wait for you to come back. I hope your wedding goes amazingly and you have the best honeymoon!!!

@seesbetterfromadistance My very first writing partner on this platform. Then he forgot about me XD but that's fine. Part of a very big platform and coming back after a while. I adore your Clint and the way you capture him so effortlessly! The mun is also amazingly talented in his craft and I love it when you share all your fotographs in an excited spam even though I can't always answer simultaneously. I hope that whatever is happening you keep that joy alive :) I don't think I've ever met a person this excited about a cactus in bloom and I am so glad you took me along for the ride (because I was very excited about that cactus then too!!!) I wish you well and hope you return for more writing shenanigans sometime :)

@smertzimy I miss our found fur family. Especially with these two tragic characters. They deserve all the love (and pets) they can get. Watching Eurovision this year has been a blast with the great commentary provided XD and I hope that it will be just as great next year. The mun always finds the greatest memes and pictures and the icons are on point!! I hope you have the grandest time and we find more of it to write again.

@esotericdescent / @thiefofcrows Is absolutely amazing! Please go check out his multimuse if you are even remotely interested in the eldritch and supernatural. But on top of that he is my Main Kaz Brekker (yes I write Inej Ghada on a different blog but this is my blog and my birthday and I get to shout about how much I love whomever I want for as much as I want here.) He is incredibly talented and I adore plotting with him. I am a massive Crows / Literature fan / overall nerd and this mun gets to suffer through it all and meets it with the greatest enthusiasm. I love the stories we built and the complexity I get to write without ever having to think twice if 'its alright to write this' because fuck yes it is!!! Thank you for your friendship and support of all the fun ideas and picture spams you get :)

------------------------------------

Regardless of this up there. Thank you if you've stuck around, written, discussed, interacted and lived with me through another crazy year. The world isn't any easier but I know there are safe spaces and people to escape too. Be kind to each other and have a great day. I'm certainly planning on enjoying today to it's fullest (as I try with other days even if it isn't always easy)

#ooc: the widow without her bites #long post #gushing about my frienda #birthday post #i love you all!

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eerna · 1 year

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one of the reasons i like kaz so much is that hes a dick but hes like. someone who 100% DESERVES to act like one yknow. if i went through what he did i would be worse and no pretty girl with long eyelashes could make me question if there is magic in the world bye

NOOO ANON DON'T BECOME THE BASTARD OF THE BARREL THAT'S EXACTLY THE LINE OF THINKING THAT LED TO DIRTYHANDS

Also I’ve seen other people talk about it but with the inej and tolya thing hinted at at the end of s2 istg if the show decides to make kaz decide to heal and work on his issues out of jealousy bc of a love triangle and not because he genuinely wants to be better for inej and himself like he does in the books I will be so mad

For some reason I don't mind it. Maybe because I can't imagine Inej loving anyone but Kaz, but then I remember how in CK she says "what am I supposed to do, marry a regular guy and then spend my nights sharpening my knives??" bc technically Tolya is the perfect solution for that. He is kind and emotionally mature and poetic but also a wicked warrior. He's perfect for her, the best of both worlds. BUT IT IS SO HILARIOUS LIKE WHY EVEN GO THAT ROUTE WE ALL KNOW THEY WOULD NEVER SEPARATE KANEJ SO WHY

Yeah I think the main problem I have with kaz’s attitude in the show is just it feels like it’s about the wrong things a lot of the time esp in s1 and also the fact that like you said he’s like a different brand of jerk than book kaz is. There’s also the problem that in the show we don’t have any development or buildup or banter in kanej’s relationship so the arguments between them just feel kind of frustrating. In general I have a hard time taking show kaz seriously when he’s only ever brooding and quiet when in the books he was actually interesting and funny to read about lol.

Yup :(((( Inej storms out of their conversations like 78% of the time and he always hangs back looking regretful and broody. It's annoying

#eernask #eernanon #eernask talk grishaverse #sab spoilers #kaz is a shitty person who shouldnt be shitty but i still love him a lot. let him be an asshole and learn to be better. why is that so hard #adaptations hate to let their characters be mean ig

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suseagull04 · 5 months

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2023 Character Wrapped

Thanks for tagging me, @welcometololaland!

Rules: share your top 9 characters of 2023

In no particular order:

1. Regina Mills (OUAT)

I relate to her so much in some ways, she has magic, she banters so well, and her redemption arc is ON. POINT. No matter how far I stray from this fandom, Regina will always have my heart.

2. Henry Fox Mountchristen-Windsor (RWRB) My heart goes out to him SO MUCH, and like Regina, he feels things deeply. Plus, he wants to be a writer! What more could I ask for?

3. Alex Claremont-Díaz (RWRB) half of the greatness that is firstprince, plus he speaks Spanish! And as much as I relate to Henry's quiet suffering, Alex's chaos is relatable too

4. Robin Hood (OUAT)

5. Wylan Van Eck and Jesper Fahey (Shadow and Bone show/Six of Crows) I love these two, especially Wylan. They both go through so much and learn so much from each other, it's amazing!

6. Rebecca Welton (Ted Lasso) another very relatable character for me

7. Nina Zenik and Matthias Helvar (Shadow and Bone/Six of Crows) love these two, especially in the books! I'm so upset that we don't get to see the best part of their story (assuming they changed the end)

8. Inej Ghafa and Kaz Brekker (Shadow and Bone/Six of Crows- though definitely the former for the latter character) Inej might deserve better in general, but Kaz definitely has his moments, especially in the show!

9. Lorelai Gilmore (Gilmore Girls) she's just so fun and quirky and strong!

I'm cheating a lot, I know, but I had to have all six of the Crows, and it spiraled from there...

Tagging @read-and-write- @heybuddy-drabbles @believingispowerfulmagic @daisymae-12 @everwitch-magiks @zwiazdziarka @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @inexplicablymine @kiwiana-writes @raysletters

#tag games #2023 wrapped

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she-posts-nerdy-stuff · 7 days

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Daughter of the Rain and Snow

Concept: Around ten years after the events of Crooked Kingdom, 25-year-old Captain Inej Ghafa frees Maya Olsen from a pleasure house in Ketterdam. Maya is looking for revenge against the man who put her in her position, a man who she knows nothing about except his name: Kaz Brekker.

Tags: @wraith--2 @lunarthecorvus @just2bubbly @real-fragments7 @cartoon-clifford @origami-butterfly @lady-a-stuff @thelibraryofalexandriastillburns @inej-ghafa-deserves-the-world @thatdelusionalnerd

If anyone wants to be added let me know :)

Content Warnings: in more general terms I want to remind people to be aware of the nature of Kaz and Inej's experiences and relationship since even if I'm not directly addressing these things they tend to be implicit in any writing about them, but specifically to this chapter there's ptsd references, anxiety, violence references, blood, wounds, and fear of losing loved ones

Note: Oh my goodness we only have the epilogue left to go... this is insane I can't believe we've reached the end

AO3 link: Daughter of the Rain and Snow - Chapter 145 - She_posts_nerdy_stuff - Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo [Archive of Our Own]

Chapter 144 - Kaz

At least the Crow Club was back in working order. Beyond that things weren’t looking at their best. Kaz knew from Anika and Pim’s reports that the damage was mostly repaired and they’d reopened the closed wing a few months ago, but he also knew from the income reports Yara had been sending him that they’d taken a hit. Her projections looked sunnier for next month, but Kaz wasn’t feeling particularly confident. There was a nervous energy about the Slat when he walked in, still as rowdy as it usually was in these early hours of the morning but with a slightly frantic edge. Kaz had known his extended absence would take a toll, but he’d tried to keep in control of what he could.

“I assume there are rumours going round about -”

“Your mysterious disappearance? Yeah,” said Anika, “We’re treading water trynna cover up for you being missing,”

“Anyone get wise?”

“To the fact you weren’t here or to what you were actually up to?”

Kaz shot her an unamused glare. Clearly he needed to stop telling Anika up to 50% of the truth, because she was getting too good at picking up what the rest of it was.

“I don’t think so,” she said, “Not with any proof you weren’t around. Few people here and there are convinced you’re dead,”

That didn’t particularly surprise him.

“Any attempts at territory grabs since you last wrote?”

“Liddies are still riled up, but nothing new except a pretty hollow looking threat from Black Tips,”

Kaz sighed. They weren’t staying in Ketterdam for long, he’d have to get through work quickly and make a few choice appearances if he could spare the time.

As far as Kaz and Inej knew, the plan was for them to drop in on Jesper and Wylan for the afternoon, then go to the house overnight whilst Nina stayed on the Geldstradt. They didn’t have the space to have her at the house by the harbour - especially when Alyssa was staying with them too - and anyway she would only be kept up all night by Sadja. But apparently Jesper and Wylan had other plans, as soon as they were through the door it was all but a demand they at least stay there the first night. They’d even set up a room for Alyssa upstairs, so she was close if Inej or Sadja needed her.

“How are you feeling?” Kaz had asked, watching Inej’s hand find the railing on the porch of the Hendriks house.

“I’m fine,”

Kaz shook his head, looking down at Sadja.

“Once you can talk I’m going to teach you to shout at your Mama every time she says that,” he told her, gently readjusting the sling in hopes of helping her settle.

Nina laughed.

Sadja had done well on the boat, Kaz thought, for a stubborn two month old who had never travelled further than the Grand Palace until a couple of weeks ago, but she hadn’t slept well last night and still didn’t seem to be interested in sleeping now.

“Kaz, really,” said Inej, shaking her head, “I’m okay. I’m just tired,”

Kaz nodded, but he and Nina had shared a brief glance. Inej rang the doorbell and Sadja immediately jutted out her bottom lip in indignation; for a moment Kaz thought she was going to cry but she settled again, still looking a little grumpy. He readjusted his cane so that he could remain balanced whilst he offered her his finger, and once she’d acknowledged it he gently rubbed his hand up and down her tiny tummy.

“Do you not like doorbells, Sadja?”

“I think it’s quite normal for babies not to like loud noises, Kaz,” said Nina, peering over the sling, “You’re okay, aren’t you Sadja? You’re a brave little muffin,”

“Brave little muffin?” asked Kaz.

“Hey, that is just about the highest compliment I’ve ever given anyone,”

“Well, you are brave aren’t you Sadja? You’re just like your Mama,”

She wriggled a little in the sling, as though she was trying to look up at him properly, and smiled. Kaz glowed.

The door had barely been opened when they were met by the practically shouted words:

“Where’s my niece?”

“Well, hello to you too, Jesper,” said Inej, sharing his soft laugh.

She leaned into the arm he offered and he kissed her on the cheek, ushering her over the doorstep. Kaz followed, nodding at Jesper.

“Saints, I’ve missed you,” said Jesper, hugging Inej again.

“Oh, I’ve missed you too,”

Nina cleared her throat, glaring teasingly at Jesper. He threw an arm around her shoulders.

“I’ve missed you too, darling, obviously. And I guess I missed you Kaz,”

“Always with the compliments,”

Where’s Wylan?” asked Inej.

“Couldn’t get out of a meeting,” Jesper replied, shaking his head, “He won’t be long. Now, where’s this little Sadja you’ve been withholding from me?”

“Withholding-? She’s only been alive two months - and you were in Novyi Zem for one and a half of them,”

“Withholding,” Jesper repeated

Inej laughed. Kaz gently scooped Sadja out of her sling and into his arms, rocking her for a moment before he passed her to Inej so Jesper could lean over and greet her. He looked like he was about to burst with glee.

“Oh my goodness, you two she’s so beautiful. Aren’t you? Yes you are, yes you are,”

Jesper looked up at Kaz and Inej, grinning.

“She’s wonderful,”

“She most certainly is,” Kaz smiled, pushing the door to behind him before they walked together towards the living room, “It’s good to see you, Jes,”

“You too. And honestly you with a baby is quite possibly both the funniest and cutest thing I have ever seen, so thank you for that,”

Nina snorted. Kaz glared at them both.

“And how are you?” Jesper had asked Inej, as they sat on the sofa together.

It was about twenty minutes later and Wylan had just got back, all apologies for being late and overjoyed to see them all again. He was now sitting in between Inej and Kiada with Sadja in his arms, smiling.

“Well, I haven’t slept in about two months,” Inej smiled, leaning her head onto Jesper’s shoulder, “But other than that I’m doing pretty well. How are you? - How was Novyi Zem?”

“I’m good, we’re all pretty good at the minute, actually. And Novyi Zem was lovely, good to see my Da, and everyone did a very good job,” he squeezed Aimee’s hand lightly, from where she was perching on the arm of the sofa next to him, “There were a few moments where we thought we’d have to come home early - that was always in the plan as an option, if anyone needed it - but we ended up staying the whole time,”

“How’s Colm?” asked Nina, leaning forwards to pick her coffee up from the table.

The conversation floated on, and Kaz had drifted in and out of paying attention to it as he kept his eyes on Sadja. She started wriggling uncomfortably and Wylan passed her back to Inej, then a moment passed before she started crying.

“Is she alright?” asked Kaz.

“She’s just hungry,” said Inej, looking at Kaz in a way that meant calm down, she’s a baby, she’s going to cry, you do not need to worry as she stood up and gently rocked Sadja against her chest, whispering to her in Suli, “I’ll take her upstairs,”

At some point, Kaz wasn’t exactly sure how long it had been, it was only him, Nina, and Jesper still sitting in the living room. Focus had switched freely: the trip to Novyi Zem - two weeks with Colm followed by a month and a half through in Weddle and Shriftport, then another two weeks with Colm - Kiada had struggled with the boat, Aimee had struggled on the farm, Kiada has struggled in Weddle; news on the Ravkans and their new little prince and princess, twins about three months older than Sadja; Clemmie Boscht had started renting an apartment in the city and came to the house to share roast dinner with the family once a month; updates on something Kaz had forgotten to pay attention to as he was wondering how long Inej and Sadja had been gone and if he should go upstairs to find them. Now Nina was asking about wedding plans - the original date should have been last month, but it hadn’t been set in stone when Kaz and Inej first went to Ravka so Jesper and Wylan had decided to postpone and visit Jesper’s father instead of him coming out to them.

“Doesn’t matter,” Jesper was saying, “Nothing will ever make up for the fact that Kaz Brekker got married before I did,”

Nina flopped against the back cushions of the sofa.

“Yeah, it’s a real blow to the ego isn’t it?”

“Aren’t you two just the height of comedy?” said Kaz drily.

“To be fair, Jes,” Nina added, “I think we were all surprised you weren’t the first to get married. I mean how long had you two known each other before you moved in, two months?”

“No, well I really only joke,” said Jesper, glancing briefly at the door and lowering his voice, “Wylan told me ages ago he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to get married, after everything with his parents he just kinda… lost faith in it,”

Jesper had told Kaz about it at the time. It was years ago, around the time of the Van Eck trial, and Wylan was having an unsurprisingly bad time of it. He said he’d burst into tears and told Jesper that it had been evil of him to trap him in a relationship that would never go anywhere, and that he could leave if he wanted to and Wylan would understand. Apparently Jesper had stared at him for almost a full minute, and then said:

“Wy, you’re seventeen,”

“Well, clearly,” Kaz had said, “You handled that well,”

“I helped him afterwards!” Jepser had cried defensively, “That was just my first thought,”

Now Kaz sat behind his desk at the Slat, flicking through the endless pile of papers laying in wait and watching the hands move on his timepiece. Almost five bells. He wanted to be back by six.

Sadja had woken up not long before three bells, screaming loud enough to bring the entire house down. Kaz fumbled in the dark, searching for his cane, before Inej turned on the gas lights and handed it to him, smiling and shaking her head. They sat next to each other on the side of the mattress as Sadja nursed, and for about half an hour afterwards Kaz was still rocking her slowly whilst Inej lowered the lights and lay back down. Sadja seemed on the verge of settling back to sleep and Kaz stood to return her to the cradle next to the bed, only for her to immediately start wailing again.

“Well I hope you’re not still hungry,” he said softly in Suli, giving her a gente bounce “I think Mama’s asleep,”

She flailed one of her tiny fists into the air and it whacked lightly against Kaz’s chest.

“Not bad form,” he told her, “But you need more strength behind it if you want to do real damage. We’ll work on that when you’re older. What can we do to help you sleep now though, hm?”

Sadja wriggled in his arm and Kaz moved to sit on one of the armchairs so he could set down his cane and support her more comfortably.

“I don’t have anything new to read to you,” he said, “But I could tell you a story if you’d like,”

There was a pause broken only by Sadja’s impatient cries, before Inej’s soft voice came from the darkness on the other side of the room:

“You know the whole idea of us using one language each with her whilst she's still learning kind of depends on you speaking to her in Kerch, right?”

Kaz looked up.

“Inej? I thought you were asleep,”

“Kaz, if you think anyone could fall asleep through this then I have serious concerns about your hearing. And, again, you’re supposed to speak in Kerch,”

“I’m still not convinced that’s going to work,” he replied, “Isn’t she just going to hear us using both with each other anyway?”

Inej groaned.

“It’s three in the morning, Kaz, can we talk about this later?”

He laughed softly, nodding though he wasn’t sure if she’d see in the dark. He’d known that he needed to go to the Slat - the last word from Anika and Pim had been concerningly vague - but he could stay here a little while yet, couldn’t he? What harm would it do, just to stay here for a little longer? He sighed.

“You need to go, don’t you?”

He didn’t know how she did that.

“It can wait until tomorrow,”

“You can’t,” said Inej, quietly, “Go on. I’ll get her settled, just don’t be long, okay?”

“Never,”

He really needed to stop watching the clock, or he wouldn’t get anything done and have to bully himself into staying longer. It was a good while past five bells when he left, ignoring the shouts for attention that followed him from the crowd. The Hendriks house was mostly still sleeping, though Wylan was unsurprisingly up and in the kitchen making coffee by the time Kaz arrived at six bells. Inej was awake but she was still upstairs, not long dressed and part way through brushing her hair when Kaz knocked softly on the door. She opened it slowly, pressing a finger to her lips as he slipped inside.

“Sadja’s asleep,”

Kaz stood over the cradle for a moment, watching her. She really was perfect. Inej appeared next to him, her arm slipping around his waist once he’d nodded confirmation. She leaned her head against his shoulder.

“She already looks like you,” she whispered.

Kaz shook his head.

“She’s beautiful. That’s all you,”

Inej shook her head then, her hand finding his and slipping beneath the rim so her fingers brushed his wrist. Kaz’s heart leapt, thinking of holding her on the floor almost a year ago, a knife in her gut and her blood soaking over both of them. He swallowed and she felt him tense, starting to pull away to give him space. His fingers tightened over hers, holding her to him.

“We’ve not…” she hesitated, “We’ve not talked about a plan for where to live. For what to do next,”

Kaz had been avoiding the conversation, because he didn’t actually know what he was going to say. But it was a year ago when he couldn’t tell her everything he’d thought he should be able to say by now -

Their happiness, together. In Kerch, in Ravka, they could move to the permafrost in Fjerda for all he cared. He would carve a life for her in the face of a mountain, if that was what she wanted.

- and so much had changed since then. He should be able to tell her that now. And he did.

Inej turned and leaned her face up towards his, glowing in the soft dancing light of dawn leaking through the window, her dark eyes shimmering. She lifted a hand up to cup his cheek, and slowly they leaned into each other. Their foreheads pressed against each other, Kaz’s hand slipped down Inej’s back, and their lips met in the warmth of spring and joy and a family that for so long Kaz had convinced himself he didn’t want, because he never thought he’d be able to find it.

The entire world was golden.

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