#and I just saw one person who I *definitely* thought was in North America post that it was noon at 7am my time

[ajoytobeheld]

End of Year Travels: Part One…ooooooh

December 14th, 2007

Hello and other festive greetings, I trust this blog finds everyone eating mince pies or at least contemplating the eating of mince pies. We managed to witness the xmas build up in Canada, North America and Japan so my brain is now riddled with carols and Cliff Richard songs.

The last two and a half weeks was a lovely finale to a extremely surreal year, we witnessed sunshine, frost bite inducing snow [has anyone else heard that apparently when you get frostbite your fingers feel like warmed marshmallows, ie, crispy on the outside and gooey on the inside??? Ellen informed me of this a couple of days into our trip and I think that lovely image is definitely worth sharing with as many people as possible] and Gareth wearing little blue pants and a knitted mask at dinner. ( He had clothes on under the pants, which in a way makes him a bit like a freaky superman) (Pictures to follow)

The plane ride to LA was rather touching for us all as we were able to watch the masterpiece that is Ratatouille, which made some of our more sensitive members nearly cry, perhaps because of the parallels between the morals in the story and our own lives. The take home message is that “Anyone can cook,” and I like to apply this to myself as “anyone can make music.” Apart from that awful brother/sister duo on The X Factor. They really should be stopped. 

We started out our adventure in LA which was a sprawling hubbub of confusing juxtaposition. There was poverty combined with the promotion of celebrity glamour (e.g people begging outside the kodak theatre where the Oscars take place) and a lot of Scientology related buildings. It’s WEIRD how seriously they all take it - there was the L Ron Hubbard Celebrity Community Centre (which we were assured did a lovely brunch), the L Ron Hubbard Christmas display, the L Ron Hubbard life exhibition and the various L Ron Hubbard workers trying to convince you to do “personality tests.” It apparently is the religion of now and in La would go perfectly with your Hermes bag and small obligatory dog. But LA did contain Ameoba records, which has everything. No, honestly, everything.

We also made a video out there, which sounds far more glamourous than it actually was because it was filmed in a recording studio so it could have been anywhere. But it was nice to sit around in the sunshine. I can’t say too much about the video before it is aired to the five people who will watch it, but it does involve small furry things which meow. I may have said too much. There is also a starring role from our lovely sound technician/tour manager Todge, which is maybe not Oscar worthy but should be given a nod from the Baftas. [Actually it’s up on youtube now so CHECK IT. And don’t worry, although it’s hard to believe given the skill of our acting, we are all alive and well. Although I have pulled a tendon in my knee. But that has nothing to do with the video.

There was also an afternoon spent in Melrose in the hopes of celebrity spotting (unsuccessful) which saw us discovering some ‘interesting’ Necromance shops featuring human bones, posters of how to perform surgery, books with titles like “the most fashionable clothes for mourning”, and my personal favourite– black toilet paper.] We did some shows also in LA, San Fran, New York, Boston, Ottowa, Toronoto and Montreal. San Francisco seemed to be where the crazies liked to hang out and generally talk to themselves, while we were having cocktails I witnessed a man continuously lifting a plastic bag up and down for an hour at what we thought was a bus stop. It turned out to a lamp post. He wasn’t waiting for a bus. He was just slightly eccentric.

New York was particularly fun as we got to play with our friends Johnny Foreigner again who were there recording their debut album, it also meant we got to go to Whole foods again which is perhaps the most magical food store in New York. [or the world] There was also a good two hours where is seemed Bright Eyes might come to our show, which where perhaps the most nervous of my life, I turned down cake because I was so nervous. He couldn’t make it, my dreams were dashed. [and you missed out on cake]

Boston was where we first witnessed lots of snow leading to cold feet and constant giddy excitement from Neil, who really likes snow. [aaaaaaand they gave us freshly baked WARM cookies when we arrived at the hotel. Pretty sweet.] In Ottowa we got apples in the hotel and some people received free champagne on their arrival. It was also where we got our bags throughly searched at the airport, with Gareth getting his toothbrush and ipod (!) swabbed for drugs. How cliched do they really think we are, we are strickly a // injected into the eyeball sort of band.

It was also where seven shots of a mysterious substance turned up on the right hand side of the stage [the crowd did try to help us solve the mystery by calling out that the drinks were called ‘Tracksuits’ …which didn’t really help]. We all accepted it politely and drank some (apart from Neil because he just isn’t cool) and luckily it wasn’t Rohypnol. It was alcoholic Irun Bru.

Toronto was where we were reunited with one of our favourite places, and caught up with some lovely people from Arts and Crafts including our favorite driver Aaron, who we convinced to come to Montreal with us the next day and miss work. His constant farting in the car made this journey rather difficult. [The drive was so loooooooooooong– why can’t they just build cities closer together??? It’s just open space in between…it SO wouldn’t make a difference. But luckily we were entertained on the way by our new driver Sam and his stories of how as a wee lad he excitedly volunteered to do a presentation on Toxic Shock Syndrome thinking it sounded really cool…until he realised it was to do with tampons. Gutted.]

We had heard so much about Montreal and were all rather excited about getting to see this lovely European style town where the fact they spoke French and they weren’t IN FRANCE was a huge novelty. I attribute that statement to myself, novelty for me is of course normal life for the Montrealians.

The thing about being in a band and that is places you want to see…you wont, you will see the street you are on between sound check and performance, which means you will see the restaurant/ Tim Hortons you eat in.

We supported Broken Social Scene, and the venue was rather beautiful but the fact wehad to get up at half five in the morning really really sucked… …to be continued…

As this blog has turned super long we thought we’d give you lovely readers a break. That is if anyone persevered to get to this bit. Also it gives us something to do when we inevitably get bored next week. So stay tuned – Part 2 to come. Lots of love, Ellen and Aleks x

#2007 #lc!blog

[realindianyug]

This Cat Is So Huge, People Think It's a Dog: Could It Be the World's Biggest?

Yulia Minina from Russia got the surprise of her life when she bought what she thought was a cute little kitten. Instead, it grew into a massive cat that's as big as her four-year-old daughter. Yulia Minina, who lives in Oskol in Russia, owns a cat named Kefir, who has been dubbed the 'world's biggest cat' and it's not hard to see why.  She brought home the Maine Coon kitten around three years back. Now, she finds it amusing that many people mistake her enormous white cat for a dog. She's been sharing videos of her huge cat, Kefir, on Instagram. In one such video, Kefir, who belongs to the Maine Coon cat breed, shows off its smarts by standing on its back legs and trying to open a door. Then it rushes outside to enjoy the sun, stretches, and plays in the garden. The video's caption says, “Tanks are not afraid of dirt. The Yard is our favorite family location. Not a day without the street; not a day without the help of the coolest tools. Ps: The video is only a small part of all the entertainment of Cafe and a small part of my favorite assistant’s cleanliness." Watch the video of the huge furry companion here: View this post on Instagram A post shared by Юлия🤍Кефир (@yuliyamnn) Since it was posted on June 4, the video has been a sensation, racking up an impressive 144,000 views. People can't help but be amazed by the sheer size of the cat. “I could not even think that an ordinary baby could become so big. He not only grew up big in appearance, he is also very smart and always behaves calmly," Yulia was quoted as saying by The Mirror.  The Maine Coon is a large domesticated cat breed. It is one of the oldest natural breeds in North America. The breed originated in the U.S. state of Maine, where it is the official state cat. Kefir, Maine Coon Cat The Instagram post created a storm of comments while watching the huge cat. One Instagram user marveled, saying, "What an amazing kitty! I thought my 25-pound Mason (Moose) was huge when he stands up to check out what's on the table… but Kefir has him beat by a mile." Another person chimed in, "That's one incredible cat. I didn't even know house cats could get that big, and he seemed so calm and friendly. I think he's just stunning. I hadn't heard of Maine Coons until I saw them on the internet, but I guess they need more space than an apartment, although I'd definitely consider having one." Another comment simply read, "Yes, he's big and beautiful." In another heartwarming video, Yulia Minina's daughter and Kefir share precious moments together inside their home. The pair form an adorable and affectionate bond as they enjoy their time together. Initially, the video shows her daughter and the cat playing in the kitchen. As the video progresses, the duo relaxes on the couch, watching a movie side by side. You can watch the video below: View this post on Instagram A post shared by Юлия🤍Кефир (@yuliyamnn) Read the full article

[phantomskeep]

Hey, so for your new dpxdc post about w*ndigo Danny is cool but please be aware that you are appropriating a closed spiritual traditions of Algonquian-speaking First Nations in North America- like, really truly people know that those beings exist and will definitely murder them if named. Again, I do think the post is neat just not with that particular entity.

Heyhey! I am aware that the post is a bit of a questionable "is this okay to do" due to the rocky relationship between Native Americans and the people who came to colonize America (hnngg that sounds bad?? but I have no idea how to word it differently. Basically that Native American culture has been butchered beyond belief at best, appropriated at worst, by the rest of the world). I have done my fair share of research on the wendigo subject - from books to documentaries to scholar articles to blogs to even Reddit/Tumblr posts - and from what I understand it is not taboo to speak of a wendigo. Many people get the Navajo's Skinwalker mixed up with the more northern wendigo and over time non-native pop culture have mixed the two and gotten them confused over time.

As I stated before, however, I am not a member of any Native American nation, nor a member of any Algonquian speaking culture. Again - this is not my culture and I am not looking to offend or appropriate any. I'm just a humble US cowboy mixed with a dose of Japanese farmer with a dash of cajun mariner; but I would also like to stress that I did not make that post while being uninformed.

That being said, from my understanding on this subject the word "wendigo" is not one that cannot be spoken. This is, again from what I've been able to find, because "wendigo" is not the actual spelling/name of the spirit. I'm not going to write or say what the Algonquian word is because that is something I don't think those nations want spread, based on the context that I found it in.

If you have the sources where you got your information from, can you please share them with me? Even if it's just another Anon message with a sneaky link to them, or the name of where you got it from that would be really great.

I will be going back to my DCxDP idea post and clarifying that the version of "wendigo" I am using is the more pop-culture version rather than the actual folklore.

If you want to see the other post I did regarding a small, teeny-tiny slice of some of the digging I have done on the subject, follow this link here.

I love the folklore behind wendigos (thanks, Hannibal) and have been on a decade-long binge on any information regarding them. They're cool, even if I (personally) tend to enjoy the bastardized "not actually a wendigo because it has antlers and is not a spirit" more than the actual folklore - which I can and will admit is appropriation to a degree. What can I say? I saw a zombie deer one day on the farm, turned around and watched Hannibal for the first time. I was hooked because I thought I actually saw a wendigo/ravenstag/weird cannibal thing chilling my backyard. Ten years later and I can fully admit I just saw an ill deer and was immediately slapped with a fucked-up version of cool folklore.

Again, if you have the sources that you got your information from and wouldn't mind sharing I would be super happy <3 I want to be as informed as possible, which is something I believe I have done. But! I know I can make errors and would like to fix them as much as possible. Having the source on hand would be great, because I am planning on using wendigo/wendigo-adjacent lore in a story I am currently writing. I am planning on hitting up some Natives from the areas the folklore originated from before I wrote my ideas into the plot and now it seems like I need to do that more than ever haha.

Hopefully this clarifies some stuff? If you want to have an anonymous conversation on this subject keep filling up my inbox, I love talking about this subject because I learn so much new stuff every time.

[multiplefandomfics]

Relations 2.0

So guys, this is kinda an alternative to Relations I posted yesterday. This time with a Rogers! Reader. I hope you enjoy.

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Warnings: angst, kidnapping, violence, trauma, nightmares, PTSD, unprotected smut, alzheimers, kinda AU

Words: 3702

"How is she today?" you asked your cousin.

"Not much changed. I'm just happy she remembers us." She answered.

"Did she tell you something new?"

"No, not really. You want to go in now?"

"Yes, I don't know but it always makes me happy to see her. No matter what state she's in." You smiled at her.

Peggy was your fathers mother and you loved her. She had taught you and Sharon how to be brave and independent women.

"Hello grandma. How are you doing today?" You sat down next to her.

"Oh, how nice of you to visit me, my dear." She smiled at you. "I slept very well. How was your day?" Peggy might have an illness which ate away at her memories but she was the most courteous person on the planet.

“Oh, you know just as always. S.H.I.E.L.D is definitely keeping me on my feet.” you smiled at her.

“Yes, yes, I can imagine.” she took your hand.

You talked a bit more and listened to stories you had heard a 1000 times before but still enjoyed seeing your grandma so happy.

Then your phone rang.

“Agent Carter? We need you at the facility immediately.”

“I’ll be right there.” you answered.

“Grandma, I’m sorry I gotta go. Duty calls. I'll come back as soon as I can, I promise.” you kissed her on the forehead before you left.

“Good that you are here. We have found something incredible way up north embedded in ice.” Agent Coulson told you and handed you a file.

When you opened it up and saw the pictures you gasped loudly and had the urge to sit down.

The photographs showed your grandfather, frozen in uniform and with the shield. You recognized him immediately.

“Y/N are you alright?” Coulson asked.

The problem was that no one knew your family history. Peggy had kept quiet about her unplanned pregnancy and the whereabouts of the father. She had gotten married while still pregnant and in those times no one questioned that the baby was way early.

“Yes, no, I mean… I don’t know. I can’t believe you found him. Now the nation can finally bury their fallen hero.” you mumbled.

“Oh, you must have misunderstood. Captain Rogers isn’t dead. He’s in recovery.” Coulson explained.

“What? How is that possible?”

“Well the ice must have preserved him and the serum in his veins kept him alive.”

Not even a second later rang Coulson’s phone. An Agent called from Times Square. Steve Rogers had woken up and figured out that something was not right so he escaped the room where he was supposed to recover.

“I need to talk to him. I think I will be able to calm him. This must be awful for him.” you begged Coulson.

“Alright, let’s go. Times Square is just around the corner.” you jumped into your car and drove speeding down the streets of New York.

When you arrived Director Fury had already kinda calmed Steve so you walked over to him.

Nick Fury was the only person in the world outside your family who knew your family's secret. So he didn’t hesitate to let you through.

“Captain Rogers? Would you care to come with me? I'd like to explain everything to you.” you smiled at him.

“Peggy? he asked, astonished. You had never seen too much resemblance between your grandma and yourself but apparently Steve saw it.

“Close. But no. MY name is Y/N Carter. I’m her granddaughter. We have a lot of catching up to do. Want to join me?” he just nodded and followed you.

You drove in silence with about 5 bulletproof dark SUVs following you at close range.

You stopped in front of a S.H.I.E.L.D office and walked inside.

When you closed the door to your office behind you and him the reality of it all finally started to seep into your bones and you started shaking.

He noticed immediately and stepped closer. Ever the gentleman of the 40’s that he was, he asked if you were okay.

“Well there is so much I want to tell you. Actually, I have since I was a child. And I never thought I’d ever get the chance to nor did I think it was my place to tell you. But…” you kept rambling.

“What are you talking about?” he looked confused.

“Okay, here we go. All or nothing.” you mumbled to yourself.

“Peggy is my grandmother, and you are my grandfather.” you finished quietly.

“Excuse me?” he thought he might have misheard you.

“Just after you supposedly died Grandma Peggy found out that she was pregnant. She always said it was a drunken night after Sergeant Barnes died? It’s a secret which almost no one outside of the family knows. I would have let Peggy tell you herself but she has alzheimers and a lot of the time she is not really there anymore.” you explained to him.

“Peggy is still alive? I need to see her.” he picked up on your story.

“But first I’d like to hug my granddaughter if that’s alright by you.” he grinned.

“Ehm, yes sure.” you outstretched your arms and he embraced you. You had never felt so safe in anyone's arms before.

Before anyone could argue with you you had taken Steve to see Peggy in her retirement facility.

“Steve? You’re alive?” she asked in disbelief when she spotted him by her bed. He grinned and bent down to kiss her on the forehead.

“Yes, my love. And I missed you so much. How is my girl today?” he asked her.

“I was never better. Y/N come here darling. Meet your grandfather sweetie.” she spoke slowly in that posh british accent of hers.

“I already have nana and he is just as amazing as you have always told me.” you said while tears were forming in your eyes.

After that conversation you left them alone for a while to talk.

The next few weeks no day passed without you spending time with Steve. Unfortunately you had no contact with your mom or dad anymore. They didn’t want anything to do with you anymore after you had decided on your S.H.I.E.L.D career path.

That had been years ago and you weren’t sad anymore but now you would have wished, for Steve's sake, that he could meet his son.

Maybe someday your dad would be ready for this.

Somehow it came as it had to. People found out about your relation to Captain America and started to bother you immensely.

Then came the point on which it couldn't get any worse.

You came home after a long day of work and just wanted to relax in a bubble bath and then go to bed. But it came differently than you thought.

The moment you opened your door and turned around to shut it an arm closed around your throat and another grabbed for your holstered gun. Your assailant was too strong for you to overpower. You lost consciousness quickly.

When you awoke you were chained to a chair, gagged too.

And then you saw him. Sitting in a corner opposite you. Long dark hair, black mask and tac gear. His left arm was made of metal and wirred when he moved it.

When he noticed you had woken up he stood and walked over to you,

He didn’t say a word and you couldn’t. Otherwise you would have given him a piece of your mind.

You didn’t expect his next move. He took the gag from your mouth and pushed a bottle of water against your lips. You drank greedily because you hadn’t noticed your parched throat before.

“What do you want from me?” you asked after he had taken the bottle away.

“Leverage.” was all he said.

“Are you working for hydra?” you asked. You had had your suspicions for a long time that the agency had been operating from the underground.

He stayed silent and then you felt your mind slip. Of course something must have been in the water.

The next time you came to you heard voices around you but couldn’t focus at first.

When you finally could concentrate you recognized voices you had suspected of being evil before. Alexander Pierce and Brock Rumlow. Idiots! you thought.

“Ah, there she is. Did the soldier take good care of you?” Pierce mocked and you spat at him which earned you a nice backhand to the face from Rumlow.

“Now that we have that out of the way, let us proceed with our plan, shall we?.”

God, how much you hated that douchebag!

They took a video from you probably as leverage. Just as their soldier had told you. What they wanted to blackmail from S.H.I.E.L.D or Steve, you didn’t know.

After they had everything from you they brought you to a room which strongly resembled the cell in an asylum. Thick padded walls you couldn’t hurt yourself on, a small field bed with a blanket and a toilet with a sink in one corner behind a milky screen.

You banged against the walls and door at first to get any kind of attention but after receiving none you decided to leave it be and save your strength.

Hours later a doctor came into the room to take a blood sample from you but you wouldn’t have that so you fought against him until they brought the soldier in to hold you down. That was the first time you saw him after he kidnapped you. And this time he wasn’t wearing a mask. His face was expressionless and his hair was longer than on the pictures you had seen at the museum but the man standing in front of you was undeniably James Barnes. Your grandfather's best friend since childhood who you had believed was dead since 1943.

“Bucky?” you asked and he gave you a confused look. At first you doubted your eyes but you were so sure it was him. “What did you do to him? He is a good man!” you yelled at the doctor who just smiled at you maliciously.

Still struggling in Bucky’s hold the doc took a sample of your blood and they left but not before Bucky threw you one last thoughtful glance.

Days ticked by and nothing happened. You saw someone bring you food twice a day but that was about all the human contact you were given.

You couldn’t stop thinking about your granddad’s best pal being enslaved and obviously brainwashed for God knows how long. It made you so sad to think about his past. What he must have endured in hydra’s grasp.

Then one night suddenly the light in your room changed and you noticed the cause being that the door had been opened. You decided that that was your only chance and snuck out of the room. You tried to find orientation points in the weird and long hallways. But you noticed every time you didn’t know where to go, a door opened somewhere.

Just for a second you contemplated if this might have been a sick trap but you still followed it because, what did you have to lose?

When you stepped through the last door you heard someone call your name.

“Y/N! Over here!” Not 10 meters away from you stood Steve in full gear.

“Steve! Thank God you found me. Did you open all these doors?”

“Doors? What? No. I haven’t even been inside yet.” he looked at you as if you had lost your mind.

“Then who paved the way for me?” you thought out loud. Until it suddenly hit you. “Bucky!” you yelled.

“What? Are you alright? Bucky has been dead for decades.” Steve informed you.

“No you don’t understand. He is here. He must have been the one to help me. We have to find him.” you turned around and ran back inside faster than Steve could grab you.

“Y/N no!” he yelled and ran after you.

Suddenly you stopped dead in your tracks and Steve almost ran you over. 5 meters in front of you stood a dark figure, not moving a muscle.

“Bucky?” you called lowly.

Steve tensed up behind you. He too had recognized his old pal.

“Buck?” He whispered, shocked.

“Come on Bucky. We have to get out of here. And thank you for helping me.” you smiled and stretched your arm out.

He took the invitation and slowly walked towards you. Together you got out of the building and headed toward the pickup spot where the jet waited.

Bucky had still not said a word. While Steve flew the plane you sat down next to Bucky who seemed lost in thought. He didn’t notice you sliding into the seat next to him until you laid your hand on his thigh. “Buck? How do you feel?”

“Confused. I can’t believe that I am not under their control anymore.” he said.

“You are safe now. I promise we will take care of you. S.H.I.E.L.D will help you get back on your feet. You are a hero.”

“No, not S.H.I.E.L.D. They have been infiltrated by hydra. You saw Pierce and Rumlow. We can’t trust anyone.” he yelled, almost panicked.

“You are right. Steve, where are we headed?” you called out to your pilot for the moment.

“I was about to get us to Washington D.C.. S.H.I.E.L.D HQ. But now that I heard what you said I think it might be best to find a different place. So Y/N where to? Do you have a plan b?”

“In fact I do. Keep going, I'll send the coordinates right to you.” you ordered.

3 hours later you landed at a farm.

“Clint. It’s good to see you.” you said and wrapped the archer in a tight hug.

“How is the family?” you tried to make conversation.

“Good as always. So what’s the deal with this?” he asked back.

“Well, you know Captain Rogers and this is Sergeant James Barnes. It’s a long story but we need a place to lay low for a while that S.H.I.E.L.D doesn’t know about.”

“Ah, so you thought of me. Naturally. Alright, come on in, dinner should be ready soon and Laura always makes too much.”

Dinner had been great and now you were sitting on the porch with a glass of wine just relaxing and telling Clint everything. You trusted him with all your heart. Him, Natasha Romanoff and Nick Fury.

“So S.H.I.E.L.D is hydra now?” he asked, confused.

“Well yes but it seems hydra was always sleeping just under the surface waiting for the right moment to strike.” you clarified.

“So what do you intend to do next?” he asked again.

“Well, I have already sent an encrypted message to Nick Fury. He will know how to proceed from her on. Then we need to grab hydra by the roots and pull them out. If that doesn’t work we need all the help we can get to take down everything. S.H.I.E.L.D, hydra, all of it.” you described.

“Buck, what can you tell us about their plan?”

Bucky took a deep breath and started to recite everything that he knew or had gathered. Good thing that no one had actually thought to mind their words around him because they always thought he couldn’t do anything with that knowledge anyways.

“So they want to erase millions of people who do not follow their ideology? And they want to use helicarriers with active weapon systems?” you summarized Bucky’s information. “We have to stop this! But we need a solid plan. I suggest we wait for a message from Fury. He might know what to do.” you proposed.

“I agree. If we run in there unprepared people might die.” Steve approved.

So you had not much more to do than wait.

That evening you tried to fall asleep in the guest bedroom but that was almost impossible. You had listened to Steve leaving the house to go for a run about 30 minutes before. So he couldn’t sleep either.

Then, just before sleep invaded your mind you heard noises which sounded like whimpering so you got up quickly and walked downstairs, gun raised.

You found out fast that the noise came from a restlessly sleeping Bucky on the much too small couch.

Worried that he might be distressed and would fall back into his old habits you sat down next to the couch stroking hair out of his face. “Bucky? You’re okay. You’re safe now.” you whispered. He opened his eyes and looked at you.

You didn’t expect him to lean in close and brush his lips to yours.

He pulled back abruptly when he noticed you being completely taken by surprise. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that.” he sat up and buried his face in his hands.

“No, it’s okay Bucky. I understand you. It wasn’t that I didn’t want it, I just wasn’t expecting that.” he looked up hesitantly.

“In fact I wouldn’t mind you doing it again.” you smiled at him mischievously.

Without saying another word he pulled you in again. You climbed into his lap all while never breaking the kiss. Until you had to come up for air.

“Wow, you really know how to do that.” you stated.

“Did you want to go further?” you asked him carefully.

“I wouldn’t mind. I just wanna feel something nice again.” he confessed before pulling you in for a kiss again.

You made out like that for a while, grinding on each other like some horny teenagers. Until his hand slipped into your panties stroking your mound and you started mewling like a kitten in heat.

Your hands fumbled clumsily with his boxers and he helped you push them down enough for his cock to spring free.

Pulling your panties to the side you sunk down on him. This time the sex was not about sensuality it was supposed to be quick comfort. The emotional crap could come later.

You rose onto your knees and dropped back onto his generous length.

“Fuck!” you breathed out. Burying your head in his shoulder so you wouldn’t wake anyone still sleeping.

You were so deeply immersed in your lovemaking you didn’t hear the door open.

“Really? On the couch? Seriously?” you almost jumped off of Bucky at the sound of your grandfather’s hushed voice.

“I’m sorry Steve.” Bucky whispered. And you could tell he was more than close so you kept rocking back and forth on his lap. Steve, noticing that you wouldn’t stop, just turned around and went upstairs with the words “I’ll sleep in your bed then.”

Once he was gone you were finally able to lose yourself in Bucky again.

It didn’t take long for him to reach his high and the moment you felt him shoot his load inside you you couldn’t hold on anymore and the knot burst.

You dropped onto the seat next to Bucky, catching your breath.

“Thank you for that.” he leaned his head back and tucked himself back into his pants.

“No need to thank me. I really like you Buck and I hope that this won’t be a one time thing.” you smiled at him hopefully.

“So do I, but I don’t know if I am good enough for you. I’ve done so much evil in my life. You deserve so much better.” Suddenly he looked so sad again.

“Hey. Look at me Bucky!” you ordered him, grabbing for his face. “What happened to you is not your fault. You were trapped in your own body and you deserve the world. Never think any less of yourself because of your past! You are the reason I am free now. You have saved Steve’s ass more than he probably knows. We love you Bucky and I mean that. You know that my grandma did not only talk a lot about Steve but about you too? You left such an impression on her that even now in her alzheimer ridden mind she still sometimes talks about you. What a gentleman you always were. Handsome, sweet and clever. And I could not dream of someone better than you.” You kissed him deeply with all the emotion you could muster and hoped he would understand.

“Are you sure?” his insecurities were killing you. Peggy had always mentioned the ladies man that he had been but that lay 70 years behind and it broke your heart to see him like this.

“100% sure darling. Now let’s try to catch at least a few more hours of sleep until sunrise.” another kiss later and you had cuddled together on the still too small couch. This time you fell asleep quickly and felt safe by his side.

Two days later Fury had gotten you a plan. Maria Hill would meet you in a sewer system at the edge of D.C. She handed you three computer chips to override the helicarriers weapon systems manually.

The people from hydra, working inside S.H.I.E.L.D did not expect this attack just when project inside was about to launch.

So when the helicarriers had come crashing down on D.C. and every single hydra agent had been taken in custody was it finally time to calm down and get everything in order.

Facing the facts Bucky still needed therapy and someone to look over his conditioning and the damage hydra had done to him. But you were sure to find someone with a solution somewhere. Until then you tried to get used to having a 100 something year old grandfather and his just as old best friend for a boyfriend.

You didn’t know where you were headed but you liked the thought of finding out.

#marvel #buckyxreader #y/n #the avengers #mcu #sebastian stan #fanfic #au #smut #fluff #angst

[star-anise]

An ask I got recently:

hi so i’m a transmed and i’m not sure if you’ll answer this because of that but i saw your post about transmedicalism and was wondering if you could expand on that? you seem like a genuinely kind and judgement-free person, thank you darling x

My response:

Heh, you call me “judgement-free” and ask for my opinion on a topic I’ve formed a lot of judgments about… I get it though, I’m not into attacking people for what they believe so much as providing FACTS. As a cis queer, my insight into transmedicalism isn’t really about the innate experience of trans-ness so much as using my education and professional experience to talk about social science research, diagnostic systems, and public health policy.

This ended up really long, so the tl;dr is, I think transmedicalism as I understand it:

Misunderstands why and how the DSM’s Gender Dysphoria diagnosis was written,

Treats the medical establishment with a level of trust and credibility it doesn’t deserve, at a time when LGBT+ people, especially trans people, need to be informed and vigilant critics of it, and

Approaches the problem of limited resources in an ass-backwards way that I think will end up hurting the trans community in the long run.

TW: Transphobia; homophobia; suicide; institutionalization; torture; electroshock therapy; child abuse; incidental mentions of pedophilia.

So first off I’m guessing you mean this post, about not trusting the medical establishment to tell you who you are? That’s what I’m trying to elaborate on here.

I have to admit, when you say “I’m a transmedicalist” that tells me very little about you, because on Tumblr the term seems to encompass a dizzying array of perspectives. Some transmedicalists believe in what seems to me the oldschool version of “The only TRUE trans people suffer agonizing dysphoria that can only be fixed with surgery and hormones, everyone else is an evil pretender stealing resources and can FUCK RIGHT OFF” and others are like, um… “I have total love and respect for nonbinary and nondysphoric trans people! I qualify for a DSM diagnosis of dysphoria but that doesn’t make me inherently better or more trans than anyone else.”

Which is very confusing to me because according to everything I’ve learned, the latter opinion is not transmedicalism. It’s just… a view of transness that acknowledges current diagnostic labels and scientific research. It’s what most people who support trans rights and do not identify as transmedicalists believe. But I kind of get the impression that Tumblr transmedicalism has expanded well past its original mandate, to the point that if a lot of “transmedicalists” saw the movement’s original positions they’d go “Whoa that’s way too strict and doesn’t help our community, I want nothing to do with it.”.

Okay so. Elaborating on the stuff I can comment on.

1. DSM what?

The American Psychiatric Association publishes a big thick book called The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, called the DSM for short. This is the “Bible of psychiatry”, North America’s definitive listing of mental disorders and conditions. It receives significant revision and updates roughly every 10-15 years; it was last updated in 2013, meaning it will likely get updated sometime between 2023 and 2028.

The DSM lists hundreds of “codes”, each of which indicates a specific kind of mental disorder. For example, 296.23 is “Major depressive disorder, Single episode, Severe,” and  300.02 is “Generalized anxiety disorder.” These codes have information on how common the condition is, how it’s diagnosed, and what kind of treatment is appropriate for it.

Diagnostic codes are the key to health professionals getting paid. If there isn’t a code for it, we can’t get paid for it, and therefore we have very few resources to treat it with. The people who actually pay for healthcare–usually insurance companies or government agencies–decide how much they will pay for each code item to be treated. They’ll pay for, say, three sessions of group therapy for mild depression (296.21), or they’ll pay for more expensive private therapy if it’s moderate (296.22); they’ll pay for the cheap kind of drug if you have severe depression (296.23), but to get the more expensive drug, you need to have depression with psychotic features (296.24).

Healthcare companies, especially in the USA where the system is very very broken and the DSM is written, are cheap bastards. If they can find an excuse not to fund some treatment, they’ll use it. “We think this person who lost their job and can’t get off the couch should pay this $1000 bill for therapy,” they’ll say. “After all, they were diagnosed as code 296.21, and then saw a private therapist for five sessions, when we only allow three sessions of group therapy, and you’re saying they haven’t had enough treatment yet?”

A lot of the advocacy work mental health professionals do is trying to get the big funding bodies to pay us adequately for the work we do. (This is a much easier process in countries with single-payer healthcare, where this negotiation only needs to be done with a single entity. In the USA, it needs to be done with every single health insurance company in existence, as well as the government, sometimes differently in every single state, and then again on a case-by-case basis as well.) Healthcare providers have to argue that three sessions of group therapy isn’t enough, that Medicaid needs to pay therapists more per hour than it costs those therapists to rent a room to practice in, or else therapists would lose money by seeing Medicaid clients. DSM codes exist a tiny bit to let us communicate with each other about the people we treat, and a huge amount to let us get paid. The fact that their existence lets people make sense of their own experiences and find a community with people who share common experiences and interests with them is a very minor side benefit the DSM’s authors really don’t keep in mind when they update and revise different diagnoses.

So when it comes to convincing insurance companies to pay for treatment, humanitarian reasons like “they’ll be very unhappy without it” tend not to work. The best argument we have for them paying for psychological treatment is that it’s economical: that if they don’t pay for it now, they’ll have to pay even more later. If they refuse to pay, let’s say, $2000 to treat mild depression when someone loses their job, and either refuse treatment or stick the person with the bill, then that person’s life might spiral out of control–they might, let’s say, run low on money, get evicted from their apartment, develop severe depression, attempt suicide, and end up in hospital needing to be medically resuscitated and then put in an inpatient psych ward for a month. The insurance company then faces the prospect of having to pay, let’s say, $100,000 for all that treatment. At which point somebody clever goes, “Huh, so it would have been cheaper to just… pay the original $2000 instead so they could bounce back, get a new job, and not need any of this treatment later.”

Trans healthcare can be kind of expensive, since it often involves counselling, years of hormone therapy, medical garments, and multiple surgeries. Health insurance companies hate paying for anything, and have traditionally wanted not to cover any of this. “This is ridiculous!” they said. “These are elective cosmetic treatments, it’s not like they’re dying of cancer, these people can pay the same rate for breast enhancements or testosterone injections as anyone else.”

So when the APA Task Force on Gender Identity Disorder (a task force comprised, as far as I can tell, entirely of cis people) sat down to plan for the 2013 update of the DSM, one of their biggest goals was: Treatment recommendations. Create a diagnosis which they could effectively use to advocate that insurance companies fund gender transition. Like when you go back and read the documents from their meetings in 2008 and 2011, their big thing is “create a diagnosis that can be used to form treatment recommendations.” So that’s what they did; in 2013 they made the GD diagnosis, and in 2014 the Affordable Care Act required insurers to provide treatment for it.

A lot of trans people weren’t happy with the DSM task force’s decisions, such as the choice to keep “Transvestic Fetishism,” which is basically the autogynephilia theory, and just rename it “Transvestic Disorder”. The creation of the Gender Dysphoria diagnosis, basically, was designed to force the preventive care argument. They didn’t think they could win on trans healthcare being a necessity because healthcare is a human right, so they went with: Trans people have a very high suicide rate, and one way to bring it down is to help them transition. One of the major predictors of suicidality is dysphoria. The more dysphoric someone is, the more likely they are to attempt suicide (source).  Therefore, health insurers should fund treatment for gender dysphoria because it was cheaper than paying for emergency room admissions and inpatient psychiatric hospitalizations.

I have spoken to trans scientists about what research exists, and my understanding is: The dysphoria/no dysphoria split is not actually validated in the science. That is, when you research trans people, there is not some huge gaping difference between the experiences, or brains, of people With Dysphoria, and people Without Dysphoria. Mostly, scientists haven’t even thought it was an important distinction to study. The diagnosis wasn’t reflecting a strong theme in the research about trans experiences; that research showed that trans people with all levels of dysphoria were helped with medical transition. The biggest difference is just that dysphoria is a stronger risk factor for suicide. Experiencing transphobia is another strong risk factor, but that’s harder to measure in a doctor’s office, so dysphoria it was.

(I’ve seen some transmedicalists claim that dysphoria’s major feature is incongruence, not distress. And I’ll just say, uh… in psychology, “dysphoria” is the opposite of of “euphoria”, literally means “excessive pain”, and is used in many disorders to describe a deep-seated sense of distress and wrongness. As a mental health professional, I just can’t imagine most of my colleagues agreeing that something can be called “dysphoria” if the person doesn’t feel real distress about it. If you want a diagnosis that doesn’t demand dysphoria, you’d need Gender Incongruence in the upcoming version of the ICD-11, which is the primary diagnostic system used in Europe, published by the World Health Organization.)

2. Doctors are not magic

Medicine is a science, and science is a system of knowledge based on having an idea, testing it against reality, and revising that knowledge in light of what you learned. We’re learning and growing all the time.

I don’t know if this sounds painfully obvious or totally groundbreaking, but: Basically all medical research is done by people who don’t have the condition they’re writing about. Psychology has a strong historical bias against believing the personal testimonies of people with conditions that have been deemed mental disorders, so researchers who have experienced the disorder they’re writing about have often had to hide that fact, like Kay Redfield Jamison hiding that she had bipolar disorder until she became a world-renowned expert on it, or Marsha Linehan hiding that she had borderline personality disorder until she pioneered the treatment that could effectively cure it. Often, having a condition was seen as proof you couldn’t actually have a truthful and objective experience of it.

So what I’m trying to say is: The “gender dysphoria” diagnosis was written and debated, so far as I can tell, by entirely cis committee members. The vast majority of psychological and psychiatric research about LGBT+ people is written by cisgender heterosexual scientists. Most clinical and scientific writing has been outsider scientists looking at people they have enormous power over and making decisions about their basic existence with very little accountability.

And to show you how far we’ve come, I want to show you part of the DSM as it was from 1952 to 1973. It shows you just why so many older LGBT+ people find it deeply ironic that now the DSM is being held up as definitive of trans experience:

302 Sexual Deviation This category is for individuals whose sexual interests are directed primarily toward objects other than people of the opposite sex, toward sexual acts not usually associated with coitus, or towards coitus performed under bizarre circumstances as in necrophilia, pedophilia, sexual sadism, and fetishism. Even though many find their practices distasteful, they remain unable to substitute normal sexual behavior for them. This diagnosis is not appropriate for individuals who perform deviant sexual acts because normal sexual objects are not available to them.

302.0 Homosexuality 302.1 Fetishism 302.2 Pedophilia 302.2 Transvestitism […]

Yes, really. That is how psychiatry viewed us. At a time when research from other fields, like psychology and sociology, were showing that this view was completely unsupported by evidence, psychiatry thought LGBT+ people were fundamentally disordered, criminal, and incapable of prosocial behaviour.

My favourite retelling of the decades of activism it took LGBT+ people and allies to get the DSM to change is from a friend who did her master’s thesis on the topic, because she leaves in the clown suits and gay bars, which really shows how scientific and dignified the process was. The long story short is:  It took over 20 years of lobbying by LGBT+ people who were sick and tired of being locked up in mental institutions and subjected to treatments like electroshock training, as well as by LGBT+ social scientists, clinicians, and psychiatrists, to get homosexuality declassified as a mental illness. And that was homosexuality; the push to change how trans people were listed in the DSM is very recent, as seen in the latest version listing “Transvestic Disorder”, a description very few trans people ever use for themselves.

Here are a few more examples of how people with a condition have had to take an active part in the science about them:

When HIV/AIDS appeared in the USA, the government didn’t care why drug addicts and gay people were dying mysteriously. Hospitals refused to treat people with this mysterious new disease. AIDS patients had to fight to get any funding put into what AIDS is, how it spreads, or how it could be treated; they also had to campaign to change the massive public prejudice against them, so they could be treated, housed, and allowed to live. Here’s an article on the activist tactics they used. If you want an intro to the fight (or at least, white peoples’ experience of it), you could look into the movies How to Survive a Plague, And the Band Played On, and The Normal Heart.

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) is a little-understood disease that causes debilitating exhaustion. It’s found twice as often in women as men. Doctors understand very little about what it is or why it happens, and patients with CFS are often written off a lazy hypochondriacs who just don’t want to try hard. There are basically no known treatments. In 2011, a British study said that an effective treatment for CFS was “graded exercise”, a program where people did slowly increasing levels of physical activity. This flew in the face of what people with CFS knew to be true: That their disease caused them to get much worse after they exercised. That for them, being forced to do ever-increasing exercise was basically tantamount to torture, so it was very concerning that health authorities and insurance companies began requiring that they undergo graded exercise treatment (and parents with children with CFS had to put their children through this treatment, or lose custody for “medical neglect”). So they investigated the study, found that it was seriously flawed, got many health authorities to reverse their position on graded exercise, and have made strides into pointing researchers to looking into biological causes of their illness.

Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) is a rare but debilitating disease that isn’t researched much, because it affects such a small portion of the population. The ALS community realized that if they wanted better treatment, they would need to raise the money for research themselves. In 2014 they organized a viral “ice bucket challenge” to get people to donate to their cause, and raised $115 million, enough to make significant advances in understanding ALS and getting closer to a cure.

A common treatment for Autism is Applied Behaviour Analysis (ABA), which is designed to encourage “desired” behaviours and discourage “undesired” ones. The problem is, the treatment targets behaviour an Autistic person’s parents and teachers consider desirable or undesirable, without consideration that some “undesired” behaviours (like stimming) are fundamental and necessary to the wellbeing of Autistic people. Furthermore, the treatment involves punishing Autistic children for failure to behave as expected–in traditional ABA, by witholding rewards or praise until they stop, or in more extreme cases, by subjecting them to literal electric shocks to punish them. (In that last case, they’ve been ordered to stop using the shock devices by August 31, 2020. That only took YEARS.) Autistic people have had to campaign loud and long to say that different treatment strategies should be researched and used, especially on Autistic children.

So I mean… I get that the medical model can provide an element of validation and social acceptance. It can feel really good to have people in white coats back you up and say you’re the real deal. But if you get in touch with most LGBT+ and transgender groups, they’d say that there’s still a lot of work to be done when it comes to researching trans issues and getting scientific and governmental authorities to recognize your rights to social acceptance and medical treatment.

Within a few years, the definition you’re resting on will turn to sand beneath your feet. The Great DSM Machine will begin whirring into life pretty soon and considering what revisions it has to make. You’ll have an opportunity to make your voice heard and to push for real change. So… do you want to be part of that process of pushing trans rights forward, or do you just want to feel loss because they’re changing your strict definition of who’s valid and who’s not?

3. Scarcity is not a law of physics

One of the major arguments I see transmedicalists push is that there’s only a limited number of surgeries or hormone prescriptions available, so it’s not okay for a non-dysphoric person to “steal” the resources that another trans person might need more. This makes sense in a limited kind of way; it’s a good way to operate if, say, you’re sharing a pizza for lunch and deciding whether to give the last slice to someone who’s hungry and hasn’t eaten, or someone who’s already full.

When you start to back up and look at really big and complex systems–basically anything as big, or bigger, than a school board or a hospital or a municipal government–it’s not a helpful lens anymore. Because the most important thing about social institutions is that they can change. We can make them change. And the most important factor in how much the world changes is how many people demand that it change.

I’ve talked about this before when it comes to homeless shelters, and how the absolute worst thing they can have are empty beds. I used to work in women’s shelters, which came about when second-wave feminists started seriously looking at the problem of domestic violence in the 1960s and 70s, It was an issue male-dominated governments and healthcare systems hadn’t taken seriously before, but feminists started heck and did research and staged demonstrations and basically demanded that organizations that worked for the “public benefit” reduce the number of women being killed by their husbands. Their research showed that the leading cause of death in those cases were when women tried to leave and their partners tried to kill them, so the most obvious solution was to give them someplace safe to go where their partners couldn’t find them. Therefore the solution became: Women’s shelters. When feminists committed to founding and running these shelters, local governments could be talked into giving them money to keep them running.

(Men’s rights activists, the misogynist kind, like to whine about “why aren’t there men’s shelters?” and the very simple answer is: Because you didn’t fight for them, you teatowels. Whether a movement gets resources and funding is hugely a reflection of how many people have said, “This needs resources and funding! Look, I’m writing a cheque! Everyone, throw money at this!” In other news, The BC Society for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse does great work. People should throw money at them.)

When the system in power knows there are resources it wants and doesn’t have, it finds a way to make them appear. For example, in Canada, the government knows that it doesn’t have enough trained professionals living in its far North, where the population is scarce and not very many people want to live. Doctors and teachers would prefer to live in the southern cities. But because it’s committed to Northern schools and hospitals, they create incentives. For example, the government offers to pay off the student loans of teachers or health professionals who agree to work for a few years in Northern communities.

Part of why trans healthcare resources are so scarce is that for a long time, trans people were considered too small a part of the population to care about. Like, “Trans people exist, but we won’t have to deal with them.” Older estimates said 0.4% of the population was trans, which meant a city of 100,000 people would have 400 trans people. A single family doctor can have 2000 or 3000 clients, so the city could have maybe 1 or 2 doctors who really “got” trans issues, and all the trans people would tell each other to only go see those doctors because all the rest were assholes. And the cracks in the system didn’t really seem serious. A couple hundred dissatisfied people not getting the healthcare they needed? Meh! Hospital administrators had more to worry about!

But the trans population is growing. A recent poll of Generation Z said 2.6% of middle schoolers in Minnesota were some kind of trans. which is 2,600 per 100,000. That’s enough to make hospitals think that maybe the next endocrinologist or OB/GYN they hire should have some training in treating trans people. That’s enough to make a health authority think that maybe the state should open up a new gender confirmation surgery clinic, since demand is rising so much.

Or well, I mean. Hospitals have a lot on their minds. This might not occur to them as their top priority. They’d probably think of it a lot sooner if a bunch of those trans people sent them letters or took out a billboard or showed up by the dozens at a public meeting to say, “Hello, there are a fuckload of us. Budget accordingly. We want to see your projected numbers for the next five years.”

When you’re doing that kind of work, suddenly it hurts your cause to limit your number of concerned parties. Sure, limited focus groups or steering committees can have limited membership, but when you put their ideas into action, to protest something or lobby for political change, you need numbers. If you want to show that you’re a big and important group that systems should definitely pay attention to, you don’t just need every trans or GNC or NB person who’s got free time to devote to your campaign, you also need every cis ally who can pad out numbers or lick envelopes or hand out water bottles or slip you insider information about the agenda at the next board meeting. You need bodies, time, and money, and you get them best by being inclusive about who’s in your party. Heck, if it would benefit your cause to team up with the local breast cancer group because trans women and cis women who have had mastectomies both have an interest in asking a hospital to have a doctor on staff who knows how to put a set of tits together, then there are strong reasons to do it.

Basically: All the time any marginalized group spends fighting over scraps is generally time we could spend demanding that the people handing out the food give us another plate. If you don’t think you’re getting enough, the best answer isn’t to knock it out of somebody’s hands, but to get together to say, “HEY! WE’RE NOT GETTING ENOUGH!”

That kind of work is complicated and difficult! It’s definitely much harder than yelling at someone on Tumblr for not being trans enough. But if you do any level of getting involved with activist groups that fight for real systemic change, whether that’s following your local Pride Centre on Twitter or throwing $5 at a trans advocacy group or writing your elected representative about the need for more trans health resources, you’re pushing forward lasting change that will help everyone.

#staranise original #transmedicalism tw #transphobia tw #homophobia tw #my problems with sj let me show you them

[urmomsstuntdouble]

Can you do one for america

Since I received this about an hour or two after posting my lithuania analysis, I assume you’re asking for an america character analysis. I was debating whether or not to go through with writing this or not for a while, but i’ve decided that I’ll try. I hope you enjoy it!

Idealism

The first thing that sticks out to me when thinking about america is that he’s super idealistic, and I think this has its roots in his birth. Everything in his life has been about hope and being better than others, even down to the decision to colonise north america. England needs to be the most powerful country in europe. Better set up a colony in america so that it can save us. It’s that sort of logic that i think gives america the idea that he needs to be perfect, or that he can be the ideal person. And though a lot of what we consider to be the “american” identity (intense patriotism, nativism, idealism, etc) took recognizable shape in the 19th century, i think this way of thinking was nothing new to alfred. He’d been raised on it, with the desire to please arthur sort of in his blood? Anyway i feel like the idea that the colonies would be so so prosperous really put the idea into america’s head early on that he was perfect and that he was destined to be such a great person, even if that wasn't true. I often see his daddy issues presented as solely abandonment issues, but my interpretation of america is more of a combination of abandonment issues and the pressure, some of it self inflicted, to be a perfect country. Basically, his idealism is deeply rooted in unhealthy places. 

Also, a religion headcanon i have is that while he was more raised to be a puritan, freddie prefers quakerism. Though he’s not the most compatible with quakerism, as it rejects violence and quakers often refer to themselves as the society of friends, and are very welcoming, i think it gives him some hope. One of freddie’s biggest problems is that he wants people to be better than they are, and quakerism helps a little with that, because it’s a way that he can help himself become better than he currently is. I feel like he’s been a quaker for a very long time, so he’s not a very good quaker, but this is still something that’s very important to him. 

Hero complex and other mental bullshit

America having a hero complex and also being physically 19 is something i think really highly of. First of all, it very much fits with the mythology of america being a sort of world savior. Secondly, a lot of american media focuses on heroism, whether its on the behalf of average people, like the hunger games, or on the behalf of superheroes, like the mcu- especially over the past 20 years. Though i think it’s a good thing to promote heroism, the hero-martyr complex that gen z has is. Oof. And i think alfred fits very well into that toxic sort of “heroism” that most gen z kids have. He thinks he’s somehow able to fix everything wrong with the world, just because he really wants to. Though that desire is genuine, it’s not always something that’s his place to fix or something that even needed fixing. There’s also a selfish component to that- He needs to prove himself, and heroism is the only way he thinks he can do that. It’s why he works out constantly and cares so much, on a personal rather than country-avatar-thing level, about being #1 at everything. He has to be better than everyone else because he has to be the perfect hero. 

I also think it’s interesting how america seems to have more pronounced daddy issues than canada, and i think this is something that harkens back to the 13 colonies (side note i hate the term ‘colonial times’ when referring to the time before the revolutionary war or canadian independence. These are settler states, its always colonial times.) and american independence. Canada sort of only exists because of british loyalists, as they made up the majority of the population around the turn of the 19th century. They saw themselves as being The Better Colonists. Real daddy’s boy types, and I think this is something that contributes to the hero complex. Because matthew refused to rebel so openly, that made arthur favor him as a son, so alfred felt the need to be even better than matthew- even though, of course, alfred was a bit more favored. 

Fighting Style

Freddie is very good at violence, but not in the same way that a lot of other nations are. Where they tend to be more well trained in specific styles of fighting, freddie just sort of has all of them? His mind is very crowded, i think. Also, the way that he would have learned to fight is different from the other super powerful countries by virtue of his youth, and by virtue of the different regional fighting styles in america. One that’s haunted me is a trend in the ability to rip off ears and noses- Particularly by white gangs in the antebellum south, this was seen as being like. A real badass. I think alfred was something of a feral child. If you know the saying “it takes a village to raise a child,” i think it really did with him. He had so many parents, just like a lot of the western hemisphere countries. But anyway because of all his many many parents, there was never any strong parental force in his life, so it’s more like he didn’t have any at all, and because of that, alfred was a very strange child. And because violence is so ingrained in american society, alfred is very good at fighting, both in order to be fun and flashy and for his own self defense. Though he doesn't really like to fight unless he feels like he has to (and other people are very good at convincing him that he does have to)

Sports

Though america is definitely super athletic and could probably naturally be good at most sports, i think there’s a few that he’d more gravitate towards. Those are basketball, track and field, and olympic lifting. I would include american football but it’s a stupid sport that doesn’t make any sense, so it will not be included for spite reasons. In basketball I think he’s sort of an every-man. I think he’s around six feet tall, so he really could play any position on offense, and as for defense, I think he’d play his best defense against the point guard, bc i feel like Alfred is really fast and good at getting up in your face. He’d have a ton of steals whenever defending against the point guard. I think he’d be a good center on offense, because he’s a bit aggressive and that would be useful for getting rebounds and put-backs, though i wouldn’t discount point-guard freddie, because he does like to be very inspiring. He’s pretty energetic as well, and a point guard can really carry the entire team in terms of energy and spirit. As for track and field, he’d also be an every man- I feel like he’d gravitate more towards sprinting events by personality, but his coach would stick him in wherever. Where olympic lifts are concerned, he’s absolutely a snatch specialist. 

Empire and contradictions

America is an empire. No way of getting around that. I think imperialism in hetalia is an interesting subject, especially where america is concerned. @mysticalmusicwhispers did a good job running that down here, but basically my thoughts on the matter are that alfred doesn't really like being an empire. There’s many angles to that. It’s lonely at the top, for one. There’s no one who relates to being a 21st century empire in quite the same way as him. Then you have the fact that a lot of people living in america have suffered under imperialism as well. Because of that, there’s a lot of self hatred and anxiety and a not knowing if he can fully trust himself. Theres also the obsession that many americans have with people from other cultures being able to assimilate to american wasp culture. Because of all the people who live in the states who are very much not wasps and who can never be, it’s really hard on alfred, though he refuses to admit that things are anything but fine. 

Extras/Fun stuff

A book that reminds me of him is The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien. It’s a collection of short stories about O’Brien’s time serving in the military during the Vietnam War. It’s a very haunting book and I think about it at least once a week, but it is very violent and there’s a lot of fucked up stuff in it.

giveme chubby alfred or give me death

i feel like this shouldn’t have to be said, but sometimes there’s people who depict him as being pro-trump or pro-right wing bullshit, which. absolutely not. just because of all the political turmoil that exists within alfred, and because of all the pain he goes through because of all the hate that exists within his borders- hate that the entire world is forced to pay attention to. even though he might not have all the best sympathies or motivations, he’s just so tired of all the pain he personally goes through because of domestic political unrest, and would like it to end in the way that’s the least painful for him as a person. 

Bi king of my heart 

not a natural blond

I hc him as being mixed, though i’m not sure what exactly he’d look like? But i do enjoy alfred but not white, as poc are the driving force behind a lot of american life, right down to the languages we speak. Like. something like half the states names are the words of their indigenous peoples, and even more toponyms are indigenous across the country. Then of course i feel he’s very protective of aave and will always pronounce words in Not English correctly. (if u want to hear more about my language thoughts they’re linked below. Not gonna rehash it here cause those posts are Long™) 

My playlist for him!

Other analyses (age, linguistics) 

writing requests

#@ mystic how does it feel to be tagged in two of my writing request posts #im sorry i love your writing sm #anyway thanks for the ask anon! im not quite so angsty about america right now so this probably #is not as good as it could've been were i in my feelings about him #anywhomst! hope u enjoy this #hetalia #hws #hws america #tw violence #tw imperialism #? #sort of #i dont go into detail about the imperialism but its metnioned #ask #anon #writing requests #character analysis #ceros posting

[ketsxeki]

an arranged affair - chapter 1: the girl of my dreams

a/n: my very late 100 follower celebration! for every 100 followers, a new chapter will be posted! i hope you enjoy 

word count: 1.1k

pairing(s): pregame!gonta gokuhara x reader

premise: an arranged marriage takes a wild run for young gonta gokuhara, as he deals with love and a chance to be free from his family’s name 

warning(s): none

the perfect little gentleman.

that was who gonta gokuhara was supposed to be. a perfect little gentleman to appease his parents and be worthy of the gokuhara name. everything he did had to be perfect.

he longed to escape, to flee from his hell and run into the woods. gonta missed the woods dearly. in the woods, he could be himself without fear. he could be happy and free.

yet, life had other plans. 

a plan in the form of a girl named (y/n).

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“you’re getting married,” his father informed gonta one tuesday evening in typical blunt fashion. gonta looked up from his book on butterflies and stared at his parents. both parties matched one another with their deadpanned expressions. 

“no, i’m not,” gonta resumed reading his book. his mother gently grabbed the book and snapped it shut. gonta wanted to glare at her but his mother’s cold eyes made him freeze up.

“we have arranged you to marry the eldest daughter of the jaimeson family,” gonta’s mother set the book aside on the table, “their corporation is good friends of our family. it’s only natural that you would marry one of their children.”

“why now?” gonta asked, sitting up from his lounge chair.

“you’re nearing the end of your high school career. you need to start focusing on the future,” his father answered impassively. gonta frowned. that was his destiny, to take over the family business and produce another heir. hopefully, a heir that wasn’t a fuckup like his parents thought gonta was. 

“we’ve arranged the two of you to meet tomorrow,” gonta’s mother handed gonta his book back. gonta grunted and held onto it tightly as a safety blanket. gonta’s father glared at him and continued, “you will be on your best behavior, son.”

“yes, father,” gonta murmured before sticking his nose back into his book.

“tadashi will pick you off from school and take you to see her,” gonta’s mother wrapped her arm around his father’s side, “i wish you the best of luck.”

gonta didn’t need luck, he thought to himself, he needed an escape plan.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

if his home life was hell, school was ten times worse. 

attending an international prep school for trust fund brats meant dealing with spoiled assholes with too much money and time on their hands. 

gonta managed to get through his days without people bothering him too much. his size definitely helped with that, a such muscular and tall frame for a seventeen year old boy.

he mainly spent his afternoons reading and watching the clouds roll by while waiting for his personal assistant tadashi to chauffeur around town to his various after school lessons. 

yet, when he went to his usual reading spot, gonta found someone already there. a girl around his age dressed in the prep school uniform sat under the cherry blossom tree, nose deep in a book about beetles. gonta liked beetles, he never met a girl who was interested in beetles before.

“what’s your favorite beetle?” gonta found himself asking the girl. she yelped in surprise and looked up from her book, eyes wide and breath labored. gonta raised his eyebrows at her, “d.. did i scare you?”

“n- no!” the girl replied with a nervous smile, “you just surprised me, that’s all! i didn’t think anyone was out here.”

gonta plopped down on the ground next to her, “i saw the book you were reading. beetles of eastern north america, right? by arthur v. evans? it’s a favorite of mine.”

“really?” the girl looked intrigued, her (e/c) eyes shimmering under the sunlight.

“yes,” gonta attempted to smile. why did he want to smile? that was unusual for him. smiling wasn’t commonplace in the gokuhara family.

“i.. i really like the carolina metallic tiger beetle,” answered gonta. 

“no way!” the girl broke out into a toothy grin, “that’s my favorite, too! besides the hercules beetle- but i mean- who doesn’t like the hercules beetle?”

gonta could feel his cheek heat up when the girl he just met went off on a tangent about beetles. did he just find his soulmate?! this had to be a dream. a cute girl that gonta never met until today talking about beetles? insanity, pure and unadulterated insanity. 

“who are you?”

those words slipped out of gonta’s mouth without warning.

the girl furrowed her brow at gonta and questioned to him, “what do you mean?”

“i mean.. this is the first time i’ve seen you around the school and i don’t know your name..” gonta elaborated to the girl.

the girl merely smiled and answered, “well, i just moved here because of family matters,” she extended a hand to gonta, “and my name is (y/n).”

“that’s a-” gonta pondered on how to reply, “-nice name.”

he stood her hand carefully. (y/n)’s hands were surprisingly soft. did she moisturize? 

“ms. (y/n)!” a woman’s voice called out from afar. (y/n) looked up and sighed at the outline of a woman approaching the two of them, “i got to go.. but i hope to see you again-”

“gonta,” he answered, “my name is gonta.”

“well, i’ll see you around, gonta!” exclaimed (y/n) before running off to the woman who was presumably looking for her. gonta sat there in awe. did he just meet the girl of his dreams?

“mr. gonta?” tadashi approached the young man curiously. gonta looked up and greeted his personal assistant, “hello, tadashi. did i keep you waiting?”

“no, not at all but we should get going,” replied tadashi. gonta nodded in agreement and stood up, walking off with tadashi.

gonta could only hope to see (y/n).

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

forced into a stuffy tuxedo, gonta found himself dumped outside a five star restaurant. tadashi informed him that his parents set up a reservation inside and that the jamieson girl was waiting inside. 

“is it too late to make a run for it?” gonta asked tadashi with a grumble.

“sadly, no. i do wish you luck,” tadashi reassured gonta. 

gonta took a deep breath and made his charge into the restaurant. immediately, gonta was greeted by violin music and the smell of gourmet food hit his nose. he despised it, every aspect of it was met by hatred. 

“gonta gokuhara?” a waiter greeted him. gonta nodded. the waiter smiled, “ms. jamieson is waiting for you. please follow me.”

gonta followed the waiter up the stairs and to the private floor of the restaurant. only a few tables were there, the floors polished spotlessly and a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. 

“here’s your table, sir.”

gonta stared at the girl standing down at the table.

“gonta?” the girl asked.

“(y/n)?”

there was no doubt about it.

the girl he was arranged to marry.. was the girl he fell in love with.  

#bee.writes #danganronpa #danganronpa killing harmony #pregame gonta #pregame gonta gokuhara #pregame gonta x reader #pregame gonta gokuhara x reader #an arranged affair - milestone story

[serpentstole]

Luciferian Challenge: Day 12+13 (And 22)

A few of these prompts ended up being very similar in theme, so I’ve combined them into a bit of a long reply.

Dogma is something we throw about…that we reject it. Where do you think we may fall short as Luciferians/Satanists when it comes to dogma? Do you think dogma has a certain value?

I don’t think dogma has any value really, no, as I don’t like the idea of rules or ideas that cannot be questioned on principle. Even as a child, I took issue with blind obedience. My mother once called me downstairs, and I asked why, and my father got angry and said that I shouldn’t bother to ask why and just do it, and that even if one of them told me to jump out of a window they probably had a good reason for it.

That memory is seared into my brain and still irks me.

I do think rules themselves can be important, but when we speak of rejecting dogma it’s typically in the sense of it being some authoritative status quo that cannot be discussed or challenged. I think my example above is a good example of that, as petty as it may seem: that parents should be obeyed without question and with the assumption they have our best interests at heart.

I do not believe there’s room for that sort of attitude in an empathetic and respectful society, even towards children. Respecting their natural curiosity and teaching them about bodily autonomy is something I think can only be a net good. The only thing growing up in a strict household taught me, where there was little room for negotiation or challenging of the way things were, was how to be a decent liar.

It harmed me in far more ways than it helped instill any positive values, and while I would not want to belittle the experiences of anyone in a similar boat, I consider myself one of the lucky ones. There are some families where a dogmatic stance, whether based in politics or religion, can lead to the alienation or outright abandonment of LGBT youth, of young women who wish control over their own bodies, of those with views that differ from their parents’, or any other black sheep.

I feel like this question and my thoughts on it really go hand in hand with the next one, so I’m going to actually combine them into one post and make up the difference later.

Do you think it’s dogma or silly to say what Luciferianism/Satanism is not?

I do not think it’s dogmatic to say what Luciferianism or Satanism is or isn’t. The reason I’ve kept both labels in these two prompts, when I’ve removed them in every other post, is because I spent a lot of time in a mixed Luciferian and Satanist community during the beginning of my religious journey. Despite our differences, especially in the case of Atheist Satanism versus Theistic Luciferianism, I saw a great deal of overlap in a lot of the values/ideals, inspirations, and talking points. 

I think outlining those ideals and values is important to just… having a label. Words mean things. Religious affiliations and ideas mean things. Even saying you belong to or adhere to a school of thought typically has some manner of definition or parameters. While Luciferianism and Satanism can be incredibly diverse when it comes to the details of one’s ethics and morals, practices, views of the divinity or lack there of, and other suck points, there’s a good deal that does unite us that’s reflected in the archetypal figures our religions are named after. I also believe that certain aspects of what is seen as the Standard Luciferian should be weighed more or less heavily. For example, I don’t see my irritation with hostility towards Christianity as something that makes me less of a Luciferian.

However, I want to combine these two prompts with one more to round out my view of this topic. 

What do you disagree with Luciferians/Satanists most?

In the goddamn dogma they cling to and perpetuate while claiming to be adversarial to or enlightened above such ideas. It’s become almost a meaningless buzzword. It barely still looks like a real word to me anymore. This is honestly where my post goes completely off the rails into a mini essay, so it’s under the cut.

The idea that all “Abrahamic” religions should be treated as inherently harmful and oppressive is a bad take. 

That Christianity, Judaism, and Islam should even be lumped together when discussing such issues betrays a shallow understanding of these religions that’s been regurgitated from one person to another, typically through a culturally Christian lens.

The idea that “only LaVeyan Satanism should be called Satanism because nothing else that calls itself Satanism is actually Satanism” is exhausting, and I will fist fight Anton myself in hell.

The principles of Might Makes Right and Social Darwanism that some Satanists perpetuate is dumb and bad and wrong, sorry, that’s the only rebuttal I’m dignifying that school of thought with. Once again, I will be fist fighting Anton in hell.

And that’s to say nothing of the Satanists and Luciferians out there that regurgitate the same racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, and other assorted bigotries that they’ll condemn religions like Christanity for while perpetuating it with a coat of black paint. Because I have absolutely seen this first hand, both as an observer and as the target of it.

Like... I can’t speak on Islam at all, because I have very very limited experience with it from both a research and real life experience point of view, and thus I’m not comfortable making any claims. On the other hand, I do know that to list all the ways that Judaism is not a dogmatic religion would deserve its own post written by someone far more knowledgeable than me, and it somehow still gets lumped into the Problematic n’ Dogmatic category of AbRaHaMiC ReLiGiOnS. For that reason, in the case of Islam, I can’t help but wonder if the assumption that it’s also dogmatic comes from the harmful assumption that it’s a religion that’s strict to the point of harshness that a lot of people have.

Even in the case of Christianity, which I would argue (as someone who I’d say was raised within the church) is hands down the most seemingly dogmatic of the three (particularly in North America), this is just not universally true. If it was, there probably wouldn’t be so many branches and denominations, many of which cannot stand each other and think the rest are misguided at best and heretical at worst. This is something that’s even brought up in the Satanic Bible; I’ve read the miserable thing. Have you ever seen someone say “Christians and Catholics”? That’s a pretty loaded example of how much disagreement exists within the religion when an entire core branch of it is considered tangentially related.

Not to mention, I was raised Lutheran. That came about because a German Catholic got incredibly steamed at his own religion so he made a more boring different version of it. While the existence of dogma has led to these schisms, historically speaking, the end result has been a religion so varied that it’s hard to say what is and isn’t treated as inarguable law. If you don’t believe me, try talking to a Protestant pastor about the Seven Deadly Sins and see how far you get. I tried during confirmation class and got shut down immediately... but on the flip side, my church was pretty accepting of LGBT folks, which I think some people would claim Christianity is dogmatically against by default.

Is there dogmatic thinking within specific churches or branches or communities? Absolutely, I wouldn’t argue that. I think it can arise in any community, religious or not, but that some religious communities seem to be particularly vulnerable to it. But the harm those specific cases could do should be where our focus goes, not the condemnation of these religions or the concept of religion as a whole, which I touched on in a previous prompt. 

I’m not some glorious enlightened mind. I would not want to give the impression that I think I hold in my hands the One True Way to do Luciferianism, or that I think the majority of this religious community are uncritical edgelords. This is, after all, my answer to the thing I take issue with the most, not my thoughts on Luciferianism or Satanism as a whole. I just don’t think it should be a particularly hot take that Religious Discrimination Is Bad Actually, or that maybe you can be rebellious and adversarial and hedonistic and enlightened while still genuinely giving a shit about people. Because otherwise what’s the point?

If we are hostile and rebellious with no actual end goal, no greater cause or purpose, we are simply being contrarian for the sake of it. If we blame the idea of organized religion instead of those who manipulate and abuse faith and scripture for selfish and malicious ends, we’ve missed the point, as I said in the aforementioned previous post. Not all of us have the ability to become an activist, obviously, and I would not ask you to. But I think as those who would claim to reject dogmatic thinking and strive to embody either the ideals of enlightenment or the adversary would do well to be ever questioning their preconceptions of the world around them, of other religions, and of less obvious unjust structures of power.

I don’t know why a community that believes in illumination and free thinking sees the world in such black and white ways.

While I will always strive for a greater understanding of the world, and I hold the concept of enlightenment very dear to my heart, I think it’s something that one spends a lifetime working towards. Alongside my favourite quotes from Paradise Lost, I hold the Socratic Paradox of “I know that I know nothing” as a personal motto, and I wish more people who I share this label with would do the same.

#luciferianism #theistic luciferianism #satanism #theistic satanism #witchblr #left hand path #lhp #30 Day Luciferian Challenge #30dayluciferianchallenge #illumine

[devintrinidad]

So Uhm, CAW anon here. I haven’t been into Hetalia for years. But I feel like talking about a few things I noticed back in fandom a lot that I didn’t see at all in the canon manga/anime (though Hetalia itself is just a fanfic of history. I’m only focusing on character and relationships present in the canon series). 

Ok a lot has probably changed since the last couple of years in fandom. But back then I saw a lot of depictions of the FACE group: England and Canada not having much of a relationship. France and Canda being the closest while France and America aren’t close at all. America and Canada having a strained if not dysfunctional brotherly bond. Canada having no backbone and being a sad sack all the time or just being a pure angel with no flaws. America being too childish.

I’m going to try to remember all the canon bits to back me up. But I’m mostly curious if there’s anything off and your (most likely much more up to date and informed) thoughts. 

Canada and England have a pretty good relationship from what I’ve seen. We’ve sen plenty of material of England being present in colony Canada’s life. He used to cook for him too (poor Canada) and Canada spent almost about the same amount of time with him as America did. Later on Canada chose Enlgand over America when the colonies revolted. He didn’t want to pick a side but in the end he did. He fought against American troops. Was there when England was heartbroken over the fighting. He even acted as a strategist, using his knowledge as America’s twin brother to use America’s weaknesses against him (sending surrender papers inside a basket of food. America was so hungry it took George Washington telling him to resist to not take the bait).  Later on when America and Canada were trying to mend their relationship. Canada would get so nervous and have England talk for him all the time instead (which only confused America). England did it without any fuss despite any issues he and America might still have. Overall Canada recalls having a good childhood and England was a part of that. The two might not be as close as America and England are, but they have their own history and bond both are very comfortable and happy with each other. 

America and Canada. Fans I ran into often focused on America and England’s dynamic history. But the North American brothers have a lot of their own turmoil and strength to them as well. While Canada might,moan about being invisible and such. Canada also remembers having a very fun childhood with America. So much he remembers how sad he was when America grew up much faster then him and couldn’t play with him all the time like he used to. When Canada told America he didn’t want to fight, only to choose England, America felt betrayed. He loved Canada and wanted his twin brother to fight for freedom with him. Their relationship went pretty sour for a long time. But the two did end up trying to be mature later on in life and congratulate each other despite how annoyed they are at how different the other is. 

From there we only get brother goodness. They can bug each other a lot. Canada takes for granted everything America has done and gone through, things that have also been good for Canada. While America likes to mess with Canada and act pushy with him. They do like to horse around and spend time together. Despite their differences, they’re probably the closest siblings in the world of nations. They’ve gone through their bitterness and still chose to be close brothers in the end. They like to play sports together. They like to use their appearances to mess with England who can’t tell them apart like France can. They call each other on the phone a lot. They have a joint Search for Santa Claus operations every winter. America respects Canada’s opportunity and ability to easily get along with others. He also takes Canada’s concerns very seriously and offers reasonable and helpful advice such as how to help his citizens get along. Canada’s opinions must mean a lot to him since Canada is the only individual to make America cry in despair when he went into his 3 hour insult rant against him. Despite his complaints about his personality, Canada looks up to America as a big brother who he always goes to for comfort or help. He respects and admires America a lot and trusts him as his closest confidante (after his polar bear. Not that that bear is ever helpful). Overall America and Canada have their downs like every sibling pair has. But they also seem to have a very strong and stable connection where they can act like brothers and best friends. Sometimes I think it’s easier to imagine America is closer to Canada then he is to England. 

America and France. Back then these two didn’t get a lot of attention. Which is strange because there’s tons of material of them interacting throughout the centuries. France used to cook for America when England wasn’t around (I bet when Colony America said English food was as good as French food, some thing broke inside France. The reason America started disliking English food is because France made it his mission to salvage some of his tastebuds. Xp). France has been the only FACE member to stay by America’s side without conflict. Both of them obviously had a close bond since France gave America Lady Liberty and you could see teasing and ruffling America’s hair like a big brother. The two hang out a lot. They go to Maid Cafes together. They seem to have lunch together all the time at conferences since France is always looking for America to go eat together. They apparently also have sleepovers a lot and like to compare different genres of movies. Whatever issues their people can have with each other never seems to affect their personal interactions. France is the big brother of love and that’s sometimes a running gag for jokes. But he really seems to be like a normal big brother figure for America. He often worries about America and Russia’s scary relationship and chides England for raising America to be weird. In a deleted strip, France is preventing America from drinking alcohol because he’s too young (being physically 19). It also gets a bit heartwarming when you recall the Joan of arc strips where France meets the reincarnation of Joan and she’s an American. Almost like America is now taking care of Joan and giving her the opportunity to be free and happy in ways she couldn’t before. 

Also while it’s not part of their dynamic. It’s always interesting that when the author wanted to show the Nation’s personal relationships with humanity. He always chose America and France. The supposed happy go lucky airheads who often gain a affectionate yet somber (to even downright tragic) experience from it. 

Overall America and France have a nice quiet and stable relationship. You could say while England raised America as a colony. France was among the mentors to America on how to be his own Nation. 

I think that’s it. Again my memory might be foggy but that’s what I can recall. =P

~~~

WAIT A MINUTE YOU’RE ALSO A HETALIAN??? AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME???

Okay, I’m going to prioritize this ask/submission thing first because wow, you’re a Hetalian and Hetalia has a special place in my heart. First of all, I’m kind of flattered that you think that I’m up to date for this, hahaha. I’ll have to tell you, while I do know a lot about American history, I’m actually more of a fan of the Itabros, hehehe.

A few tumblr people that I know specialize in Hetalia and have already posted FACE dynamics a lot in the blogs are, but not limited to: @historihet  @stirringwinds and @ellawritesficssometimes. I’m not sure if Ella is still active, but there’s a lot of content that you can browse through if I’m not thorough. Also, again, the list of tumblrs that have been associated with FACE are definitely more than I can imagine, those are the three that I follow and know off the top of my head.

To @historihet @stirringwinds @ellawritesficssometimes, I love your interpretations and love for history! If I say anything inaccurate or something you don’t find to your liking, please inform me! I don’t want to spread misinformation and I’m just so excited to talk about Hetalia to my dear Anon Friend :D 

If you’re reading this, I hope that you all have a wonderful day! And keep up the great work with your own analyses/fanart/fanfiction/etc. You guys rock and keep the fandom alive. :D

Anywhoozles, what you said here is fairly accurate. FACE definitely has its up and downs. Assuming that you haven’t been active in the fandom since... let’s say 2012-2014ish era, you might have noticed that the common bonds are Canada and France (platonic), France and England (rivalry/lovers/enemies), and the most concerning relationship America and England (brothers/rivals/lovers???). What you said in your analysis really applies within the sense of what is considered to be manga/anime canon, not necessarily historical canon. 

In historical canon (if you want to go down that route), FACE is one dysfunctional mess if you want to consider it as one family unit. Every one of them at one point has been at each other’s throat at one point (whether it be at war or just snubbing the other because of politics). 

We have:

1. The Revolutionary War (England vs America)

2. War of 1812 (Canada/England vs America, with special emphasis in 1814 because Canada burned down America’s White House if I remember correctly)

3. The XYZ Affair (I’m pretty sure it was a snub in diplomacy??? which actually started a war???)

4. The fact that American promised to help France in their own revolution, but Washington said no because we’re still a new country and all that jazz (...I know this because of Hamilton IF YOU’RE ALSO A HAMILFAN I WILL CRY)

5. And like the entire history of France/England is just its own thing

As you can probably tell, FACE... I think was just a  term for the fans to make this makeshift family dynamic that is cute in some respects if this was like a human au, but definitely a cluster of effs if you imagine them as eldritch abominations that were brought to life because of human imagination. 

Like, the dynamics can go in so many directions if you want to choose one aspect of history over another. 

In @stirringwinds, they often write/draw about America as this Prodigal son who happens to be like the Crown Prince succeeding his once proud father. (America turning into a superpower after the World Wars and the English Empire just kinda dismantling itself because of everything.... OF COURSE THAT’S AN OVERSIMPLIFICATION, PLEASE DON’T KILL ME FOR INACCURACY!

Whereas for another tumblr, @historihet they portray the USUK relationship as more of a ship. Like, the whole brother relationship that is skewed in the anime/dubs/subs (this is due to the fact that some fans take the whole older brother thing too literally because in Japan, you call your elders/peers that happen to be older than you via polite endearments) is more of a... I’m not gonna say paternal, but it was more of a mentor thing? I’m not sure, I haven’t interacted with them much, but I’m pretty sure they ship it. Plus, their art is so amazing and they’re obviously a fan of history because wow, their head canons and their art is so beautiful and detailed.

As for the whole France and Canada relationship, I think this can be further elaborated via @ellawritesficssometimes. I remember reading that France and Canada, while having a similar relationship to England and America, it wasn’t that close or as heartwarming as many fans make it out to be. If you follow Canadian history, I’m pretty sure Canada was under French rule for a sort time before becoming part of the English Empire. Like, Canada was part of the Empire for a longer time than under France. This means that France wasn’t always there, England was. You can further read between the lines about the English/Canadian relationships, especially if you consider the fact that America fought an entire revolution to get away from England because of neglect on England’s part and on Canada’s part.... all he had to do was ask. 

Soooooo....

Overall, I’m glad that you told me that you were part of the Hetalia fandom. It’s nice to see that the fandom is still alive and kicking, hahah. That reminds me, I’ve got to finish my series concerning Italia Veneziano, oops. Just wondering, but why did you want to talk about this? Not that I mind, it just seems out of the blue... 

Thanks for the analysis and your chat! I hope that you have a wonderful day! :D

Please don’t tell me you want a FACE fic, hahahah. XD

#hws #hetalia world stars #aph #axis power hetalia #hetalia axis powers #hetalia america #hetalia england #hetalia canada #hetalia france #aph america #aph england #aph canada #aph france #hws america #hws england #hws france #hws canada #devintrinidad author #devintrinidad #devin trinidad #devin trinidad author #caw anon #anon ask #submission

[mickibloo]

Human Rights and Veganism

I speak frequently about my passion for human rights and how this is often dismissed by nonvegans on the basis of me being vegan, and seeing how many other vegans have related to my struggles, I thought it would be useful to compile a list of the human rights issues animal agriculture is responsible for and/or perpetuates. This will not be a list that 100% encapsulates the extent to which human rights are violated by these industries, but I think it is still a really great introduction, if nothing else, to how ubiquitous the oppressive nature of animal agriculture is. This post will be mostly guided by links to sources and some key quotes and phrases from those sources. 

1. Slaughterhouse Workers

Slaughterhouse workers are one of, if not the most, abused, mistreated, and neglected groups of workers to exist within western countries. The traumatization they face as a result of their job is often ignored by almost everyone who is not vegan or who does not research the topic. 

“A Call to Action: Psychological Harm in Slaughterhouse Workers“

“These workers perform a job that, by its very nature, puts them at risk of psychological disorder and pathological sadism. This risk emerges from a combination of many factors of slaughterhouse work, one of which is the stressful environment that slaughtering creates. A large portion of this stress comes from the exceptionally high rates of injury among the workers.

“However, slaughterhouse work is unique among major industries due to its innate violence...one of the most prominent studies investigated the impact of having a slaughterhouse in a community on crime rates within that community, using this as a metric for psychological health... Though the industries they used for comparison were nearly identical in other predictors of changes in crime (namely worker demographics, potential to create social disorganization, and effect on unemployment in the surrounding areas), slaughterhouses outstripped all others in the effect they had on crime. They led not only to a larger increase in overall crime, but, disturbingly, disproportionate increases in violent crime and sexual crime.

“Creating and sustaining oneself with “good” moral character and having another self that can mechanically end lives for hours each day not only serves as another source of psychological stress for workers, but exposes workers to the risk that their pathologically un-empathetic work selves will slip into their community lives. This is another explanation for the “spillover” that affects slaughterhouse workers’ minds and communities.

“Living with the knowledge of their actions causes symptoms similar to those of individuals who are recipients of trauma: substance abuse, anxiety issues, depression, and dissociation from reality.

(Testimonies from slaughterhouse workers): “And then it gets to a point where you’re at a daydream stage. Where you can think about everything else and still do your job. You become emotionally dead.”

“So a lot of guys at Morrell [a major slaughterhouse] just drink and drug their problems away. Some of them end up abusing their spouses because they can’t get rid of the feelings. They leave work with this attitude and they go down to the bar to forget.”

Confessions of a slaughterhouse worker

There are things, though, that have the power to shatter the numbness. For me, it was the heads.

At the end of the slaughter line there was a huge skip, and it was filled with hundreds of cows' heads. Each one of them had been flayed, with all of the saleable flesh removed. But one thing was still attached - their eyeballs.

Whenever I walked past that skip, I couldn't help but feel like I had hundreds of pairs of eyes watching me. Some of them were accusing, knowing that I'd participated in their deaths. Others seemed to be pleading, as if there were some way I could go back in time and save them. It was disgusting, terrifying and heart-breaking, all at the same time. It made me feel guilty."

I know things like this bothered the other workers, too. I'll never forget the day, after I'd been at the abattoir for a few months, when one of the lads cut into a freshly killed cow to gut her - and out fell the foetus of a calf. She was pregnant. He immediately started shouting and throwing his arms about.

I took him into a meeting room to calm him down - and all he could say was, "It's just not right, it's not right," over and over again. These were hard men, and they rarely showed any emotion. But I could see tears prickling his eyes." I remember one day in particular, when I'd been there for about a year or so, when we had to slaughter five calves at the same time.

We tried to keep them within the rails of the pens, but they were so small and bony that they could easily skip out and trot around, slightly wobbly on their newly born legs. They sniffed us, like puppies, because they were young and curious. Some of the boys and I stroked them, and they suckled our fingers.

When the time came to kill them, it was tough, both emotionally and physically. Slaughterhouses are designed for slaughtering really large animals, so the stun boxes are normally just about the right size to hold a cow that weighs about a tonne. When we put the first calf in, it only came about a quarter of a way up the box, if that. We put all five calves in at once. Then we killed them.

America’s Slaughterhouses Aren’t Just Killing Animals

“I’ve seen bleeders, and they’re gushing because they got hit [by a knife] right in the vein, and I mean, they’re almost passing out,” she said, “and here comes the supply guy again, with the bleach, to clean the blood off the floor, but the chain never stops. It never stops.”

In Texas, where private employers are not required to carry workers’-compensation insurance, Tyson has opted out of the state system completely. When a worker gets injured at the Tyson beef slaughterhouse in Amarillo, Texas, in order to get medical care from the company, that person must first sign a document saying:

I hereby voluntarily release, waive, and forever give up all my rights, claims, and causes of action, whether now existing or arising in the future, that I may have against the company, Tyson Foods, Inc., and their parent, subsidiary and affiliated companies and all of their officers, directors, owners, employees, and agents that arise out of or are in any way related to injuries (including a subsequent or resulting death) sustained in the course of my employment with the company.

The pressure to sign was enormous. When a worker named Duane Mullin had both of his hands crushed in a hammer mill at the Amarillo slaughterhouse now owned by Tyson, a manager employed by its previous owner persuaded him to sign the waiver with a pen held in his teeth.

'We're modern slaves': How meat plant workers became the new frontline in Covid-19 war

The company is now measuring workers’ temperatures as they report for work, and began supplying surgical facemasks, but, according to Fields and workers interviewed by the Guardian, Tyson continues to suppress information on employees who have tested positive for Covid-19.”

One worker, a central American migrant who spoke on condition of anonymity to protect her job, told the Guardian that the company was not enforcing social distancing. 'We are all given bathroom breaks at the same time and there are hundreds of us waiting to use them. There are only seven bathrooms,' she said. 'They [Tyson] don’t care about the worker. They don’t care if we get sick.' A spokesman for Tyson said the company was taking 'several measures' to allow social distancing but did not address the bathroom break allegations."

One African American worker at a Koch facility that had been targeted by Ice, spoke to the Guardian on condition of anonymity. He alleged that while Koch had recently begun taking workers’ temperatures before shifts, they had also withheld details of any workers who contracted the virus. 'They ain’t offering nobody no disability, no unemployment, no time off,' the worker said. 'I just keep my hands washed up, my face covered up, my whole body covered, and I pray to myself and hope I don’t catch it. The truth is there’s a chance that everybody in [here] will catch it.'

The sociologist Lourdes Gouveia has studied the meatpacking industry for three decades and said the Covid-19 outbreak is simply highlighting again the dangerous conditions in processing plants. Gouveia said the industry has perfected a formula which allows it to maximize profit while producing relatively safe meat by resisting regulations and utilizing low cost, mostly immigrant, labor in unsafe conditions. 'All of these elements are of a highly perfected formula or maximizing profits that is unlikely to change fundamentally,' Gouveia said."

2. Environmental Racism and Classism

Animal agriculture, and factory farms specifically, tend to locate their facilities near poor communities (often black or Hispanic) who do not have the financial means to take them to court over the ways in which these farms affect their health and wellbeing. 

How Swine in North Carolina Affects real People | René Miller Excerpt

“When you go back and you look at where these hog facilities are located, there’s a disproportionate number of them that are located near communities of color, low income communities. It is definitely a human rights issue.”

“Now see, if you lived here, and saw the way they do, you wouldn’t eat no pork. I don’t eat bacon, because I know where it comes from. When they die, they go into a box, and they decompose because they swell in the heat. A truck come and pick them up, take them to the processing plant in Roseo, ground them up into feed, and feed them back to the hogs.

“It hits you right in the face. Smell like something that you had never smell before. Smell worse than a dead body.”

“When we go to the funeral, he used the spray. If we wanna have a cookout on Sunday, he’ll spray. He always sprays Sunday.

“Do you think it’s also a civil rights issue?”

“Yes, I do.”

When We’re Dead and Buried, Our Bones Will Keep Hurting

Like many other hazardous and exhausting low-wage industries in the United States, this work depends on the labor of America’s most marginalized communities. Most workers in the industry are people of color, many are women, and nearly one-third are immigrants.

In 1983, wages for workers in the meat and poultry industry fell, for the first time, below the national average for manufacturing work; in 1985, they were 15 percent lower; in 2002, they were 24 percent lower; today, they are 44 percent lower. Workers earn, on average, less than $15 an hour.

Jobs in the meat and poultry industry have long been a starting point for many groups of new immigrants to the United States as many positions require little formal education, experience, or English-language skills. In 2015, nearly 30 percent of meat and poultry workers were foreign-born non-citizens—about three times more than the percentage of manufacturing workers nationally.

Even immigrants with work authorization can remain vulnerable to coercion from employers, as many are not aware of their workplace rights, may not be familiar with technical terms in English, or are otherwise hesitant to navigate the complex, and potentially costly, procedures to vindicate their rights. The result is a significant part of the low-wage workforce who are less likely to report workplace abuses or even injuries, and are therefore more easily exploitable than US citizens, for fear of their employers’ power to fundamentally disrupt their lives and the lives of their families. “Us workers are afraid to lose our job,” said Rebecca G., an immigrant worker at a poultry plant in Arkansas. “[P]eople don't speak up or say what's wrong about the chemicals, or the speed of the line, or the discrimination.”

3. The displacement and murder of indigenous peoples

The Companies Behind the Burning of the Amazon

The burning of the Amazon and the darkening of skies from Sao Paulo, Brazil, to Santa Cruz, Bolivia, have captured the world’s conscience. Much of the blame for the fires has rightly fallen on Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro for directly encouraging the burning of forests and the seizure of Indigenous Peoples’ lands.

But the incentive for the destruction comes from large-scale international meat and soy animal feed companies like JBS and Cargill, and the global brands like Stop & Shop, Costco, McDonald’s, Walmart/Asda, and Sysco that buy from them and sell to the public. It is these companies that are creating the international demand that finances the fires and deforestation.

The transnational nature of their impact can be seen in the current crisis. Their destruction is not confined to Brazil. Just over the border, in the Bolivian Amazon, 2.5 million acres have burned, largely to clear land for new cattle and soy animal feed plantations, in just a few weeks. Paraguay is experiencing similar devastation.

After years of remarkably successful conservation initiatives that cut Brazil’s deforestation rate by two-thirds, Brazil’s president Jair Bolsonaro has reopened the doors to rampant destruction as a favor to the agribusiness lobby that backs him. That industry is accountable for the atmosphere of lawlessness, deforestation, fires, and the murder of Indigenous peoples that followed. According to data released by Brazil’s National Institute for Space Research (INPE), deforestation of the Brazilian Amazon in July 2019 increased 278 percent over the previous July. Bolsonaro responded to this news by firing the head of the INPE. 

I would like to close this post by saying that I understand this may leave nonvegans with some questions; What can consumers do about this? Should consumers be expected to do anything, or would that simply be misplacing the blame for these things? Aren’t all industries awful in similar ways since there is no ethical consumption under capitalism? If you have these questions, I am more than happy to engage in a good-faith conversation about them. The purpose of this post, however, is not to answer such inquiries. I made this purely to raise awareness about these issues because the only people I ever see discuss them are vegans, and these are extremely important topics that I think deserve far more attention than they receive. 

#vegan #veganism

[fishoutofcamelot]

Zombie symbolism in media? Body snatchers? That sounds extremely interesting 👀👀👀

OOOOOOOOOOH ARE YOU READY FOR ME TO RANT? CUZ I’M GONNA RANT BABY. YALL WANNA SEE HOW HARD I CAN HYPERFIXATE???

I’ll leave my ramblings under the cut.

The Bodysnatchers thing is a bit quicker to explain so I’ll start with that. Basically, Invasion of the Body Snatchers was released in 1956, about a small town where the people are slowly but surely replaced and replicated by emotionless hivemind pod aliens. It was a pretty obvious metaphor for the red scare and America’s fear of the ‘growing threat of communism’ invading their society. A communist could look like anyone and be anyone, after all.

Naturally, the bodysnatcher concept got rebooted a few times - Invasion of the Bodysnatchers (1978), Body Snatchers (1993), and The Invasion (2007), just off the top of my head. You’re all probably very familiar with the core concept: people are slowly being replaced by foreign duplicates. 

But while the monster has remained roughly the same, the theme has not. In earlier renditions, Bodysnatchers symbolized communism. But in later renditions, the narratives shifted to symbolize freedom of expression and individualism - that is, people’s ability to express and think for themselves being taken away. That’s because freedom of thought/individuality is a much more pressing threat on our minds in the current climate. Most people aren’t scared of communists anymore, but we are scared of having our free will taken away from us. 

The best indicator of the era in which a story is created is its villain. Stories written circa 9/11 have villains that are foreign, because foreign terrorism was a big fear in the early 2000s. In the past, villains were black people, because white people were racist (and still are, but more blatantly so in the past). 

Alright, now for the fun part.

ZOMBIES

Although the concept has existed in Haitian voodooism for ages, the first instance of zombies in western fiction was a book called The Magic Island written by William Seabrook in 1929. Basically ol Seabrook took a trip to Haiti and saw all the slaves acting tired and ‘brutish’ and, having learned about the voodoo ‘zombi’, believed the slaves were zombies, and thus put them in his book.

The first zombie story in film was actually an adaptation of Seabrook’s accounts, called White Zombie (1932). It was about a couple who takes a trip to Haiti, only for the woman to be turned into a zombie and enchanted into being a Haitian’s romantic slave. SUPER racist, if you couldn’t tell, but not only does it reflect the state of entertainment of the era - Dracula and Frankenstein had both been released around the same time - but it also reflects American cultural fears. That is, the fear of white people losing their authoritative control over the world. White fright.

Naturally, the box office success of White Zombie inspired a whole bunch of other remakes and spinoffs in the newly minted zombie genre, most of them taking a similar Haitian voodoo approach. Within a decade, zombies had grown from an obscure bit of Haitian lore to a fully integrated part of American pop culture. Movies, songs, books, cocktails, etc. 

But this was also a time for WWII to roll around and, much like the Bodysnatchers, zombie symbolism evolved to fit the times. Now zombies experienced a shift from white fright and ethnic spirituality to something a bit more secular. Now they were a product of foreign science created to perpetuate warmongering schemes. In King of Zombies (1941), a spy uses zombies to try and force a US Admiral to share his secrets. And Steve Sekely’s Revenge of the Zombies (1943) became the first instance of Nazi zombies. 

Then came the atom bomb, and once more zombie symbolism shifted to fears of radiation and communism. The most on-the-nose example of this is Creature With the Atom Brain (1955).

Then came the Vietnam War, and people started fearing an uncontrollable, unconscionable military. In Night of the Living Dead (1968), zombies were caused by radiation from a space probe, combining both nuclear and space-race motifs, as well as a harsh government that would cause you just as much problems as the zombies. One could argue that the zombies in the Living Dead series represent military soldiers, or more likely the military-industrial complex as a whole, which is presented as mindless in its pursuit of violence.

The Living Dead series also introduced a new mainstay to the genre: guns. Military stuff. Fighting. Battle. And that became a major milestone in the evolution of zombie representation in media. This was only exacerbated by the political climate of the time. In the latter half of the 20th century, there were a lot of wars. Vietnam, Korea, Arab Spring, Bay of Pigs, America’s various invasions and attacks on Middle Eastern nations, etc. Naturally the public were concerned by all this fighting, and the nature of zombie fiction very much evolved to match this.

But the late 1900s weren’t just a place of war. They were also a place of increasing economic disparity and inequal wealth distribution. In the 70s and 80s, the wage gap widened astronomically, while consumerism remained steadily on the rise. And so, zombies symbolized something else: late-stage capitalism. Specifically, capitalist consumption - mindless consumption. For example, in Dawn of the Dead (1978), zombies attack a mall, and with it the hedonistic lifestyles of the people taking refuge there. This iteration props up zombies as the consumers, and it is their mindless consumption that causes the fall of the very system they were overindulging in.

Then there was the AIDS scare, and the zombie threat evolved to match something that we can all vibe with here in the time of COVID: contagion. Now the zombie condition was something you could get infected with and turn into. In a video game called Resident Evil (1996), the main antagonist was a pharmaceutical company called the Umbrella Corporation that’s been experimenting with viruses and bio-warfare. In 28 Days Later (2002), viral apes escape a research lab and infect an unsuspecting public.

Nowadays, zombies are a means of expressing our contemporary fears of apocalypse. It’s no secret that the world has been on the brink for a while now, and everyone is waiting with bated breath for the other shoe to drop. Post-apocalypse zombie movies act as simultaneous male power fantasy, expression of contemporary cynicism, an expression of war sentiments, and a product of the zombie’s storied symbolic history. People are no longer able to trust the government, and in many ways people have a hard time trusting each other, and this manifests as an every-man-for-himself survivalist narrative. 

So why have zombies endured for so long, despite changing so much? Why are we so fascinated by them? Well, many say that it’s because zombies are a way for us to express our fears of apocalypse. Communism, radiation, contagion - these are all threats to the country’s wellbeing. Some might even say that zombies represent a threat to conversative America/white nationalism, what with the inclusion of voodooism, foreign entities, and late-stage capitalism being viewed as enemies.

Personally, I might partly agree with the conservative America thing, but I don’t think zombies exist to project our fears onto. That’s just how villains and monsters work in general. In fiction, the conflict’s stakes don’t hit home unless the villain is intimidating. The hero has to fight something scary for us to be invested in their struggles. But the definition of what makes something scary is different for every different generation and social group. Maybe that scary thing is foreign invaders, or illness, or losing a loved one, or a government takeover. As such, the stories of that era mold to fit the fears of that era. It’s why we see so many government conspiracy thrillers right now; it’s because we’re all afraid of the government and what it can do to us.

So if projecting societal fears onto the story’s villain is a commonplace practice, then what makes zombies so special? Why have they lasted so long and so prevalently? I would argue it’s because the concept of a zombie, at its core, plays at a long-standing American ideal: freedom.

Why did people migrate to the New World? Religious freedom. Why did we start the Revolutionary War and become our own country? Freedom from England’s authority. Why was the Civil War a thing? The south wanted freedom from the north - and in a remarkable display of irony, they wanted to use that freedom to oppress black people. Why are we so obsessed with capitalism? Economic freedom.

Look back at each symbolic iteration of the zombie. What’s the common thread? In the 20s/30s, it was about white fright. The fear that black people could rise up against them and take away their perceived ‘freedom’ (which was really just tyrannical authority, but whatever). During WWII, it was about foreign threats coming in and taking over our country. During Vietnam, it became about our military spinning out of control and hecking things up for the rest of us. In the 80s/90s, it was about capitalism turning us into mindless consumers. Then it was about plagues and hiveminds and the collapse of society as a whole, destroying everything we thought we knew and throwing our whole lives into disarray. In just about every symbolic iteration, freedom and power have been major elements under threat.

And even deeper than that, what is a zombie? It’s someone who, for whatever reason, is a mindlessly violent creature that cannot think beyond base animal impulses and a desire to consume flesh. You can no longer think for yourself. Everything that made you who you are is gone.

Becoming a zombie is the ultimate violation of someone’s personal freedom. And that terrifies Americans.

Although an interesting - and concerning - phenomenon is this new wave of wish fulfillment zombie-ism. You know, the gun-toting action movie hero who has the personality of soggy toast and a jaw so chiseled it could decapitate the undead. That violent survivalist notion of living off the grid and being a total badass all the while. It speaks to men who, for whatever reason, feel their masculinity and dominance is under threat. So they project their desires to compensate for their lack of masculine control onto zombie fiction, granting them personal freedom from obligations and expectations (and feminism) to live out their solo macho fantasies by engaging in low- to no-consequence combat. And in doing so, completely disregarding the fact that those same zombies were once people who cruelly had their freedom of self ripped away from them. Gaining their own freedom through the persecution of others (zombies). And if that doesn’t sum up the white conservative experience, I don’t know what does.

So yeah. That’s zombies, y’all.

Thanks for the ask!

#dude #film stuff is one of my main hyperfixations #but to be fair i have a lot of hyperfixations #why do you think this blog exists #ask #fish post

[realindianyug]

[lordeasriel]

Whether or not Charles Cape is truly an ally of OS, he raises an interesting idea: there must surely be a number of "believers" in the organization who are simply opposed to the magisterium for political or theological reasons. I was wondering if you have any thoughts on if there are any other OS members in the books who are likely christian, just not in a conventional magisterium way. Personally I could see Godwin and maybe Nugent.

Oh, the chances of a great deal of Oakley Street being Christian are very high, so I wouldn’t be surprised if more of them opposed the Magisterium for thinking they misrepresented their views of the religion. I can Godwin being a christian woman, not a fervent believer, but she certainly would be the sort of woman who believed in God and went to Church on Sundays and had a cross necklace, for sure. She is a practical woman, so she wouldn’t let these beliefs get in the way of her sharp mind, but I can see her as a catholi, easily; it probably became a more recurrent thing after her son and husband passed away (we don’t know but I got the feeling she is all alone now, so maybe being more faithful or more church-inclined was her way of trying to get closer to them.

Nugent I think would be more of a christian by convenience. He is definitely a man who fears God, and he does everything he does keeping in mind that if there is a Heaven, he will be punished and rewarded accordingly and he can live with that. As a politician and a Privy Council member, I imagine that being a Christian by baptism, at the very least, would be considered a common sense thing. He would probably attend Church every now and again, and mostly be bored as he is more inclined to hate the Magisterium as a whole than Godwin is, in my opinion. But I can see him believing in God and being very angry with God over the bullshit the Magisterium does in His Name.

Other faithful members I can think of are Bud and Anita Schlesinger; they’re more like Godwin too; probably attended Church most Sundays, but they prefer the smaller churches, with less of a grandieur feel about them. As New Danish, I think that their relationship with Christianity is different than the European members of Oakley Street. I personally think that the Americas are less policed by the Magisterium due to the distance issues, so how Christianity spread there is fairly different than how England behaves or the rest of Europe do. I think Anita and Bud are more focused on the celebratory aspects of the Church; Christianity for them is cooking stuff for Easter, and Christmas, and finding solace in the wisdom of the Bible they were taught as children. It’s more about the rebirth and renovation other than the punishment and deprivation messages of Christianity - which the latter seem to be more of the focus in European Christianity.

I think Hannah Relf was probably was a believer in God, but she didn’t care so much about the rituals of the Church, which may cause her to be seen as an atheist here and there. She probably attended Church every now and again, mostly out of habit, and she would probably get bored for many of the sermons that she felt weren’t interesting - she’d probably be more interested in New Testament stuff, probably messages about knowledge and kindness and common courtesy - but she probably just attended Church because it was something people did, especially in St. Sophia’s. Most of the colleges had chapels, and while I can see Jordan not having many religious men due to them all thinking they were atheists and better than everyone else for it lmao St. Sophia’s is different because it’s a girls’ college, and most of these girls attend there so they can be on route to finding a proper husband, so common social stuff would be usual in their routine, like going to the church on Sundays and so on. So I can see Hannah attending on Easter, and maybe the Christmas Eve night or the morning after, but her belief is not reliant on ritual.

And the Al-Kaisy couple probably were also Christian. They are said to look like they were North-African, and I’m torn between this because I can’t tell if this meant to describe them physically or if Philman meant geographically, but either way I’m going with geographically because I think it would make sense regardless (Dr. Al-Kaisy has an accent in the audiobook, but I’m also cautious of that because they don’t explain the decision behind accents and all that, so this is hardly canon, but I take it because I like Michael Sheen’s narration a lot). As a I said, being North-African means they probably came from either a colony or a former colony (It’s tricky knowing what is what in Lyra’s world, thank you for nothing Philman lmao), which means that Christianity was probably enforced on their country and that could be in many ways. Usually former colonies have a very fanatical, fervent take on religion, especially because the Church took advantage of these people being abused and oppressed, and they just made things ten times worse, but this depends on where you’re from and when the colony period ended and a lot more than just Evil Church + Colonialism = Fanatics. But, I think the Al-Kaisy couple is very likely Christian, Yasmin probably more of a believer than her husband. I can see her attending Church and being more inclined towards faith, wearing religious jewelry, and so on. She is more cautious and fearful than the rest of the Oakley Street people at her home, and I can see how being part of a shady group like that would wear her down, especially if she believes strongly in God and Sin. Adnan would not be a strong believer; if you asked him if he believed in God, he’d probably say yes, but he is also a Scholar, and like Hannah he would be more interested in the historical value of religion than in the message itself. Whatever rituals he would participate, would probably just to satisfy his faithful wife.

After I wrote all of that - and I’m sorry about the length lmao - I feel the need to say, that like most things, I believe that Faith is very fluid, much like I described the people above. And the Magisterium is very tricky, because it has so many different variant of religious branches that I can see some people saying they’re Christian meaning group A, but other people saying they aren’t True Christians because they don’t follow group B and so on. At their core, they can all be Christian, but they are non-conventional, like you pointed out. I think that of the above, Yasmin Al-Kaisy would be the one closer to convention (aside from Charles Capes, of course, but he is like. A priest lmao) but I also think about how she isn’t European and how perhaps the Magisterium group that had a bigger hold on her country may not have been the same as the Church of England and how that would affect how people saw her. The least conventional is probably Nugent, I think.

Thank you so much for this ask, I’ve been thinking about this for a while and I hadn’t know how to put it into words. I hope this at least answers you ask, cause I usually go on a tangent ashjhashjkash Sorry for the big, long post!

#asks #hdm meta: religion #hdm meta: oakley street #thank u for the ask! #this was fun to write!!! #oakley street #long post #Anonymous

[winchester-with-wings]

Thief at Sea

Pairing: Newt Scamander x Witch!Reader

@yaviel-writes​ requested (a long time ago lol): Niffler steals stuff from the reader, who is also a witch

A/N: This is an older request that I finished a long time ago but never posted. You might notice a Titanic reference here or there hehehe Hope ya'll like it!

Word Count: 2700ish 

This was posted a long time ago on my Patreon! Wanna get previews, early access and make exclusive requests? Become a Patron! You can follow my Patreon for free too!  Can’t become a patron? please consider a donation to my Ko-Fi (Tips are appreciated, especially in this uncertain time)

Mobile Masterlist / Ko-Fi

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*gif found on google*

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Newt Scamander figured the likelihood of there being other witches and wizards on a ship bound for New York City was quite possible. Statistically, there must’ve been at least a few wizards amongst the hundreds of muggles aboard. But just as he kept to himself, so must they.

Three to four people were bunked in some of the boat’s rooms. Newt had been fortunate enough to afford a small but private room for him and his suitcase. He wasn’t about to risk the chance of a curious muggle opening his case when he wasn’t looking. Some wizards might not have been so lucky.

Still...Newt found the middle of the North Atlantic ocean to be quite a lonely place. He explored as much of the ship as was permitted, all the while carrying his suitcase with him. His creatures were restless as well. Though they had plenty of living space, they must’ve sensed the change in geography.

Newt visited them when he could, daring to enter his suitcase only when he was in his quarters with the door locked. His longing for land and sun was satiated by Frank’s enclosure. Caring for his young Occamys kept him busy and the Mooncalves needed feeding. And one morning, he checked on the Bowtruckles and found that Pickett had a cold. The small creature was now tucked into his coat pocket for body heat.

The niffler seemed especially susceptible to the world outside the suitcase. He could sense all of the worldly treasures people were travelling with. And if Newt had to guess, it was his niffler who kept popping the latch on his case and attempting to escape. Newt would just have to remain vigilant.

--

There was a multitude of fascinating people aboard this boat. You filled your days observing them all and basking on the sundeck. As a novelist, you had been looking forward to your ride to America, as much as the trip itself. The crowds and the opportunities for isolation were the perfect conditions to work on your characters and stories.

There were a few people you'd become quite infatuated with too.

A small girl with a pretty dress, large sun hat, and a doll. You'd imagined her to being an energetic little thing, an only child, perhaps a bit spoiled, the kind of girl who had tugged on her mum's hand until she'd relented and bought the hat.

A hearty bloke, rough around the edges, well-worn clothes and a scar here or there on his exposed arms. You would write him as a working man, a former soldier perhaps, in search of a woman and a better life in America.

A young couple with extravagant taste in clothing. The dark haired man looked happier than the red haired woman. You wrote them as arranged, betrothed for wealth and only one of them was happy about it. You imagined her to have a strong spirit and wandering eye. She'd exchanged looks with with a strapping lad, below her class. You hoped they fell in love and defied all the odds.

Another man who caught your attention seemed quite preoccupied with a suitcase. He was lovely to look at with tousled fiery hair and fair skin that had been speckled by sun exposure. He dressed well but they were worn. He looked like a traveller and the way he clutched that suitcase, he must live out of it.

What would drive a man to be so protective of his personal items? Wealth? Perhaps, but you had trusted your cabin to store all of your items. What could he possibly have to protect?

However, you had charmed your personal effects. No muggle...or wizard...could access them. Perhaps this man was a muggle? It was hard to tell. But surely there were other witches and wizards aboard.

The man with the suitcase took a stroll around the ship at the same time every day. At some point, he'd sit at a bench and rest the case on his lap. One of the latches popped open now and then but you never saw what was inside.

What if it was treasure? That was an intriguing thought. You wore your treasures (a locket and an opal ring) around your neck and on your finger, except for your grandmother's ruby ring. That was locked away, with a charm for good measure. No one would get their hands on it.

At least that's what you thought.

--

You were sharing cabin with a few other women. They seemed pleasant enough. Private yet hopeful for what awaited them in New York.

One of them called New York home and you revelled in every detail and recommendation she could offer you. Another was travelling with her family but they couldn't all fit in one cabin. She enjoyed the company of you and the other young ladies. The third was a girl with a sweet voice and tightly curled hair. She longed for the life of a New York girl; couldn't wait to attend parties wearing glitter and lipstick. She aspired to be an actress and you found her to be quite talented.

They didn't ask too much about you, which you preferred. You didn't want to elaborate on “Grew up outside of London and went to boarding school.” These girls were definitely muggles and they had no business knowing about Hogwarts.

One night, as the ship embarked ever closer to New York, there was a rustling in the cabin. One girl squealed and awoke you and the others.

“Rat!! Don't you hear it? Scurrying about?!”

The cabin remained dark as no one risked touching the floor and encountering the animal. You could hear it and if it was a rat, you weren't too concerned. Rats were common pets at Hogwarts. Yet you played the part of a frightened girl, sitting up in bed and curling your knees to your chest. One of the girls on the top bunk, tossed a shoe at the floor in an attempt to scare off the animal and she must've succeeded because the animal left the room, leaving you all wondering how it got in in the first place.

--

It was fortunate that you were the one who learned of the creature's true identity the next day. A muggle would've reacted differently.

The sun was bright today, beating down upon you in your several layers of clothing, which had served you well in London.

You took a respite in your cabin around noon. No one else was there as you changed outfits. But as you rifled through your own suitcase, you came to realize something was missing. Try as you might, your grandmother's ring was gone!

You searched the cabin high and low for the ring. It couldn't have left the room! And still you couldn’t find it. Hopeless and upset, you laid upon your bed, burying your face in your pillow.

At some point, you fell asleep. You’re not sure when you did but when you woke, there was a weight on your chest. It reminded you of your cat from Hogwarts and how he used to sleep on you. You thought it was just a dream but there was a tugging sensation at your neck that awoke you.

It happened so quickly, the way you startled as you realized that there was, in fact, something on top of you. You have the chance to either flail or freeze. You chose the latter. You opened your eyes slowly, straining your eyes to look down. It’s not as large as a cat but it’s alarming no matter what. At first glance, you’ve never seen anything like it.

You figured that the creature sitting on your chest--tugging at the locket around your neck--is not from the Muggle world. However, he did slightly resemble a platypus. He didn’t seem malicious but how were you to really know? Why did he have his little webbed paws clasped around your necklace? You tried to sit up slowly, a test to see if he could be scared off or if he’d stay in place. While he did slide down your body, the creature stayed put as best he could. The expression in his sparkling eyes was defiant as he yanked at your necklace.

“Give it to me!” he seemed to be communicating with each tug. You pried his little paws off of the gold pendant and chain and when that tether had been released, you set him down and jumped to your feet.

“You’re the little blighter that was in here last night, aren’t you?” you accused him--not that you expected him to answer. He only looked ashamed for half a second before something shiny caught his eye from across the room. He scurried off the bed towards your cabin mates’ belongings. “Bloody hell! Oh no you don’t!”

Like an uncoordinated cat after a mouse, you chased the creature around the cabin, not once coming close. As he stole a piece of jewelry and some money from one girl’s trunk, you pulled out your wand. He scurried across the room and before you could mutter a single word, the creature squeezed himself through the miniscule crack under the door.

If you doubted whether the creature was magical or not, that certainly answered your question.

“No!” You ran after him, throwing the door open and hoping for an empty hallway. He couldn’t go far on a ship in the middle of the ocean but still you couldn’t have him wandering around and stealing from people. How did he even get here?

As you rounded the corner of the narrow hallway, you risked whipping out your wand once more.

“Accio!” you hissed, exasperated. The creature was caught in your line of sight, susceptible to your charm. He surged into the air and then floated over to you where you suspended him for inspection. You watched as he slipped a coin into an invisible belly pouch. It was then that you realized what this creature was. “Ohhh, you…” you squinted at him, “where did you come from? Of all places to find you…”

The niffler tilted his head and just blinked at you. The corner of your mouth tilted up. He was rather cute, in an odd sort of way. With a flick of your wand, you pulled him closer to you, taking him into your embrace.

“Let’s get you back to my cabin, shall we? Don’t want any muggles to see you.” The niffler nuzzled into you, once again taking hold of your necklace. “If you stole my ring, I’m going to need that back,” you warned him.

The sound of shoes scuffing the floors brought you to the realization that someone else was in the corridor near your cabin. You glanced up to see the red-haired man you’d observed on the upper decks. He was on his hands and knees peeking around other cabin doors. He pulled that brown suitcase along with him as if he needed it nearby when he found what he’s looking for.

You’re about to turn around and hide the niffler when the man’s face lifted to look at you. Your back is to him.

“Oh um...excuse me…” he muttered quietly, getting to his feet. “I must be in your way. I’m terribly sorry. I was just…” He swatted at his coat and finally his gaze met yours as you turned around. “...looking for something…” his voice trailed off. His green eyes trained on the niffler.

“Does this little bugger belong to you?” You approached the man, coming closer to your own cabin.

“Erm, yes that’s my niff--”

“A niffler, yes.” The wizard breathed a sigh of relief at discovering you were a witch. “Were you smuggling this creature into the country?” you accused him, holding fast to the animal. The red-haired man, who’d yet to introduce himself, seemed shifty and unwilling to make eye contact.

“N--no no, absolutely not. I mean, technically, yes. But he was to accompany me on my travels. Never for sale,” he reassured you. “My name is Newt Scamander.” He introduced himself, extending a hand. You took it but not as a handshake.

“We should leave the corridor in case any muggles come by,” you suggested. You pulled Newt towards your cabin and checked to make sure that it was still empty before pushing him into the small space. You locked the door behind you. “Does he have a name?” you asked, holding up the creature that was snuggling into your neck.

“Erm...no...he’s--uh--just niffler.”

“Oh, well that’s boring,” you giggled. “Do you have several nifflers?” Mr. Scamander shook his head. “Well then, if he’s one of a kind in your collection, I should think he should have a name.”

“Y-yes, one of kind indeed,” he scowled at the creature. “And what about you? Surely someone like you must have a one of a kind name, as well?” Newt ventured to say and you thought it almost sounded like a compliment.

“Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N. Nice to meet you.” You shook his hand for real this time. “I was starting to think that if he was just a stowaway and no one was to claim him that I would take on the honor of naming your niffler.”

“What would you call him?”

“I’m thinking...Richard.”

Newt seemed to snort and scoff at the same time. His smile was a crooked one, tilting up on one side when he looked at you with those green eyes.

“I’m--I’m sorry. Richard? Why, might I ask?”

“Well, for several reasons. One: Richard is a very dignified name. Second: Richie the Pickpocket has a nice ring to it and third...well stealing priceless heirlooms from people is a bit of a dick move. Don’t ya think?” you asked as you tried to hold up the niffler and put him on display. Newt grinned.

“I suppose. Though, I see he hasn’t taken your necklace. Not for lack of trying,” he admitted. He started to detach the animal from your necklace and take him into his own arms. The platypus looking creature squirmed.

“Yes, well he did take my grandmother's ruby ring and that’s a problem. Do you know how to get it back?”

“Yes, unfortunately I have too much experience with that.” Newt took the niffler but the foot and hung him upside down. You squeaked, out of concern, but Newt smiled at you for reassurance. With his deft fingers, he started to tickle the creature’s tummy.

Countless items started to fall out of his invisible pouch! All things shiny! Jewelry and coin currency mostly. You imagined he’d be quite the desired tool for criminals looking to make money. Newt didn’t seem surprised, nor interested in the money. Still holding onto his creature under his arm, Newt searched through the pile of treasures until he found the only ruby ring.

“I’ve found it!” he boasts, kneeling before you on one knee. He presents the ring to you and for a moment, the scene before you is eerily similar to a proposal.

You accept your heirloom.

“Thank you so much! I don’t know what I would’ve done if I’d lost it forever.”

Newt put the niffler on the ground but still had a hold of him by the tail. He kept control of the animal while the niffler cleaned up the mess of shiny objects which had spilled like a golden waterfall. He stashed it all away in that pouch again and you couldn't think of an unethical reason for why he couldn’t do so. The little thief probably always had a stash.

Once Richie, the pickpocketing niffler, had cleaned up his mess, Newt brandished his large, old, leather suitcase. He opened it up and shoved the niffler inside, locking it quickly.

“What do you do for a living, Mr. Scamander?” you asked as the two of you left your cabin for the main deck.

“Oh, well uh, I study magical creatures. I’m writing a guide on how to care for them.” There’s a twinkle of passion in his eyes.

“Of course you are,” you grin. “I imagine there’s to be an entire chapter on your niffler?” you teased.

“Yes, you are quite right.”

“I’d love to learn more. If you’d happen to be available during our passage to New York, perhaps we could further discuss it?”

“Oh, yes. There’s much I can tell you. And maybe even show you?”

Your eyes drifted to his suitcase. There must’ve been more than one magical creature stowed away on this trip to America.

#newt scamander #newt scamander x reader #newt x reader #newt scamander imagine #newt scamander fanfiction #newt scamander fluff #fbawtft #fantastic beasts and where to find them #my writing #eddie redmayne #harry potter #wizarding world #niffler

[zuulosdovah]

2, 6, and 13 for the HPHM ask meme! :)

Definitely going to put this one under a read more, because I’ve never talked about the Malins as a family before, so I kind of info dump a lot

Thank you so much for the prompts

2. How did you come up with your MC and Jacob’s backstory (family, where they’re from, their relationship with each other, etc.)?6. Describe your MC in 5 words or less &/or using 5 or less gifs13. What is your Jacob’s favourite thing from Honeydukes?

2. How did you come up with your MC and Jacob’s backstory (family, where they’re from, their relationship with each other, etc.)?

Basically I have a vague idea of what kind of characters I have to work with, then I just ask myself follow-up questions about why they are the way they are, how that affects the way they interact with one another, and how i can tie that in with canon, which gives me new ideas and new follow-up questions ect ect.

Brace yourselves, cus I’ve never talked about their family before, so it’s time for that info dump.

Jacob and Kaina’s relationship is very inspired by the relationship I have with my own little sister. We’re very close and I, too, am an anxious older sibling who has to rely on my more competent, outgoing younger sibling. It’s funny cus initially, Kaina was the shy one who was scared of people, and Jacob was suave and confident (which you can kind of see in this post). But that clashed with the way the MC acted in game, so I ended up switching their personalities, which worked out a lot better imo.

Their dad - Sigurd Malin - is pretty much just an excuse for me to project all my ideas about Wizarding Sweden onto a single person, because I’m from Sweden and I refuse to believe that magic in the north is the exact same as magic in Britain.

For example, Sigurd - being a pureblood from Sweden - definitely went to Durmstrang. And hey, look at that, there’s a viking era witch called Völvur. We’ll bring them into modern day wizarding society, make them a kind of professional Seer/shaman who can allegedly shape the future as well as see it, and make Sigurd one.

Oh, but male Völvur used to be seen as ergi (=unmanly, perverse). Modern society is probably past that, but it might be an issue with traditional and old fashioned families, which Sigurd definitely came from, before being disowned for his controversial career choice. The falling out with his family prompted him to move to Britain, where he met his future wife.

Because of his upbringing and falling out, he would probably decide early on that he’d never be like his parents, and instead became a very relaxed and fun parent to Jacob and Kaina, dedicated to throwing pureblood values to the wind. He was almost as excited as Jacob was when Jacob developed an interest in muggle punk, because his own father would have a stroke if he came home wearing a leather jacket and jeans.

But he’s barely mentioned in canon. In fact, he doesn’t seem to be present at all. So what happened to him?

He left.

When Jacob disappeared, The Daily Prophet made a lot of “speculations” about the whole family. One theory that caught on was that the Durmstrang father with his dark arts inspired Jacob to become a death eater. This is just after Voldemort’s fall, and the backlash towards Sigurd was so strong he had to move back home to Sweden just to escape it and take the heat off his family.

Their mum - Lucy Malin - is mostly taken directly from canon. 

It’s mentioned she has relatives in America and both her kids are Legilimens, so I totally subscribe to the Grandpa Kowalski Theory. She always came off as strict to me, not letting her kids practice magic outside of school and such even though they live in a wizarding neighborhood, so I thought it’d make sense for her to work in the Improper Use of Magic office. 

But she’s married to Sigur, who would definitely marry out of love to stick it to pureblood tradition, so she’s can’t be strict as in traditional, but rather strict as in having a strong sense of justice and belief in following the rules. If the rules are unjust, you don’t break them, you change them. Or you maliciously comply the shit out of them. She falls under the same kind of gryffindor as Percy or Hermione does.

She balanced her husband out well, until Jacob disappeared and Sigurd left, which messed up the family dynamic badly. Her strict attitude was taken to an extreme to protect the one family member she had left, which pretty much ruined her relationship with said family member, since Kaina values her freedom highly and saw it as a betrayal that they ever stopped looking for Jacob.

And it’s apparent enough in the game that Jacob didn’t really talk to his family about what was going on, but I also have a sneaking suspicion that this is something the entire family was guilty of?

Like, you are a Legilimens like your mother before you, so you know it’s something your kids could inherit, but since they haven’t shown any signs of it, you just don’t mention it to them at all.

You are a Seer, and you’re having prophetic dreams about your son going missing, but you don’t want to spook the rest of your family, so you just keep that to yourself.

You are in deep trouble, and now the cult you’ve been helping is threatening to harm your family and friends. Better go missing rather than tell anyone about it.

You’ve found definite proof that your brother is alive, a cult is trying to murder you, and the Cursed Vaults are very very real, but no one listened to you before, so this time you’re just not going to tell anyone. That way no one can stop you. (Can you tell Kaina has issues with authority figures?)

(insp.)

6. Describe your MC in 5 words or less &/or using 5 or less gifs

13. What is your Jacob’s favourite thing from Honeydukes?

True to canon, his favourite treats are peppermint frogs. Then liquorice wands, then sugar quills.

#ebbet #ask #hphm #hogwarts mystery #Harry Potter Hogwarts mystery #hphm mc #jacob's sibling #drakaina malin #sigurd malin #lucy malin #dovah draws #long post is VERY long #this post has been sitting in my drafts FOREVER but i think i'm finally happy with it

[shelovescontrol91]

New Camila Interview

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/music/interviews/camila-cabello-latin-revolution-immigrant-america-industry-got/

The interview is locked unless you have a user so I posted it below. Bolded are some interesting parts

One afternoon in March 2012, Simon Cowell was taking a cigarette break backstage at Greensboro Coliseum in North Carolina, where he was judging auditions for the American X Factor, when he came across a girl lying on the ground, sobbing.

The girl was Camila Cabello. She had just turned 15, and for her birthday had asked her parents – Cuban immigrants living in Miami, who were making ends meet as a shop assistant and car washer – to drive her the 12 hours from their home to the auditions. Cabello explained to Cowell that, having been kept waiting for two days to see the judges, she had just been told by the producers that time had run out and she should go home.

“Apparently she was a reserve,” Cowell tells me over the phone. “So I said to her, ‘Listen, I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about, or what a reserve is, but since you’re here, come and audition.’ Five minutes later, she sang [Aretha Franklin’s Respect] in front of 7,000 people, and it was sensational.”

Cabello has a pint-size frame and a gigantic, intoxicating voice. What it lacks in technical finesse it makes up in youthful passion and romantic melodrama. Cowell installed his charismatic young discovery as the (unofficial) lead singer of a group comprising four other female contestants, and Fifth Harmony was born. After finishing the competition in third place, they signed to Cowell’s Syco label, becoming a sort of sister act to his other X Factor protégé group One Direction. Within months, Fifth Harmony had racked up a platinum-selling debut album of chart-friendly feminist anthems, a sold-out world tour, two performances at the White House and tens of millions of young fans.

For Cabello, that was just the start. Last year, Havana, the second single from her number one debut solo album, became the sound of the summer. An ode to the city where she was born and raised, featuring slow, sensual vocals layered over a Cuban-style piano riff, Havana made the singer the first female artist to achieve a billion streams for a single song. Whether or not you’re a fan of Cabello, you’ll have heard it.

This summer, the 22-year-old has repeated the impossible. Señorita, a Latino love song from her imminent second album featuring fellow pop star (and, as of July, boyfriend) Shawn Mendes, has once again conquered the charts. Talk about power couple: according to Spotify, the online music-streaming service, 21-year-old Mendes and Cabello, who picked up two MTV Video Music Awards for Señorita last week, are the most listened to artists in the world after Ed Sheeran. “Havana was a once-in-a-lifetime kind of success, and she’s just… done it again,” says Cabello’s manager Roger Gold, who first met the singer while serving as Fifth Harmony’s lawyer. “We never thought it would be this massive.”

When I repeat Gold’s words back to Cabello over an oh-so-millennial oat milk latte in a vegan café in Montreal – the latest stop on Mendes’s world tour – she grins. “It was the same with Havana,” she says, keeping an eye on the windows for the fans that have been camped outside her and Mendes’s downtown hotel since the couple were photographed ambling adoringly around the city together the day before.

“Everyone said to me, this is a Latin song, it could never be the single. Label heads and friends were saying I needed to add more production, that it was too slow,” continues Cabello, before absent-mindedly pouring coffee on her grey cashmere jumper and earnestly imploring me for laundry advice. We dab her sleeve with water as Cabello tries out my accent. “I’ll have a flaaat whiiite,” she drawls, mischievously, again and again until steer her back to the story. Persuaded that Havana would never get radio play, Cabello released Crying in the Club as her first solo single instead. But when the album was released, it was Havana that listeners pounced on. 

“It was surreal: kids were coming up to me asking, ‘Are you Havana?’” she says. The song was nominated for two awards at the Grammys, where Cabello became the first female Latin artist to open the ceremony.

Cabello’s grip on the charts is part of what Gold calls “a ground shift”. “Latin artists have gained enormous global acceptance in the pop world in the last few years,” he says. Until 2017, a Spanish-language number one was vanishingly rare, limited to Enrique Iglesias, Shakira and novelties such as The Macarena. That changed when Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee’s 2017 Despacito, written entirely in Spanish, became the most-streamed song in history.

That same year, the number of Spanish-language songs in Billboard’s Hot 100 jumped from three to 19; this year’s tally is already at 16. Such is the influence of Latin culture on current pop that Madonna’s Madame X album single Medellin, released in April, featured Columbian reggaeton star Maluma, and breakout Spanish star Rosalia’s modern spin on old-school flamenco graced the John Peel stage this year at Glastonbury. In between, of course, came the juggernaut of Havana. 

Cowell says he never really thought about Cabello’s Latin roots when he met her. “And then of course it occurred to me years later, that she was turning things around.” He has since had success with another Latino group, CNCO. “So maybe I owe a lot to her.”

Even singers of non-Spanish heritage are now cashing in on the genre, as Justin Bieber proved with his hugely popular remix of Despacito. “It’s definitely annoying when people take things, but sometimes I’m inspired by things that aren’t necessarily my culture,” says Cabello. “I think with globalisation, genre doesn’t exist any more. It was surreal hearing people sing the chorus to Havana. So many young people had never even heard of the place.” 

Cabello donated the proceeds from the song’s music video to support young, undocumented immigrants known as DREAMers – those who entered the US as minors and are seeking resident status. Her YouTube channel has been inundated with messages from Latino fans thanking her for making them feel more welcome in America. Cabello suffers from anxiety and tends to steer clear of social media but when I mention the messages she clasps her face with both hands and her eyebrows shoot up under her curly fringe. “Really? That makes me so happy. That’s why I want to tell my story, because when I saw pictures of what’s happening at the border, my heart was broken. That’s my story too.”

Cabello was six years old when her mother, an architect, carried her across the Mexican border, telling her daughter that they were going to Disneyland. “I have this one memory of my mother taking me into a gas station, but that’s it,” she says. They were detained for 22 hours before being allowed to proceed to Miami. Her father, originally from Mexico City, joined them illegally a year later after swimming across the Rio Grande. “I didn’t know what was happening,” Cabello tells me. “I just had a Disney calendar and I crossed off every day until he arrived. 

“It’s why my mum loves that film, Life Is Beautiful,” she says, referring to Roberto Benigni’s Oscar-winning comedy about a Jewish father and son taken to a concentration camp during the Holocaust. “Obviously I’m not comparing my story to that in terms of, you know… but it’s the same idea of a parent pretending it’s a game to protect their child.”

Cabello’s as yet untitled new album, out later this year, is a tribute to first love. She describes the experience in terms of the 2001 film Amélie, which she watched for the first time last year. “Before, I was Amélie,” she says, comparing herself to the film’s titular dreamer, played by Audrey Tautou. “I was just living in my own imagination. I didn’t go out and meet people. I didn’t really make any friends. Amélie’s thrills are the smallest things, like being looked at.” 

As a child, she hated attention so much that she would cry when people sang Happy Birthday to her. Her X Factor audition was the first time she had sung in public, and helped her realise she could transform on stage. “Now I’m like Amélie at the end of the film, when she falls in love for the first time and breaks out of her shell.”

Of the 72 songs Cabello wrote for the album, only a small number will appear, each one dealing with the minutiae of relationships. Keen for me to hear some, Cabello summons her mother Sinuhe, who travels with her daughter everywhere and arrives at the café with an iPhone on which she plays me two new songs. One is a heavy, gothic ballad reminiscent of vintage Avril Lavigne; the other, a Latino song carried by a powerful brass section that makes you want to get up and salsa.

As with her last album, Cabello has a writing credit on every track of the new one – a rarity in an era when so many hits are manufactured by teams of writers and producers. Is she making a statement? “No, but I need to tell my own stories,” she says. “I still regret my first single, Crying in the Club, because I didn’t write it and it didn’t feel like me. I had the chorus to Havana, but I went with what was safe, what industry people said had worked before. Turns out, no one has a clue.”

When Cabello uses the word “industry”, her expression, usually warm and trusting, becomes uneasy. The absence of freedom she experienced early in her career as part of a label-curated girl group appears to have bred a distrust of the system. 

“Fifth Harmony was like its own separate person. It’s like we were serving Fifth Harmony,” she says, tugging on the sleeves of her grey cashmere cardigan. After Cabello left the group in 2016, she was accused of betrayal, and things got nasty – when the four remaining members opened the MTV Video Music Awards in 2017, an elevated platform showed the silhouettes of five women, until one was unceremoniously shoved off the stage as the performance began. “It’s so normal for groups to disintegrate. I think it has to be some miracle for five people to stay together,” she says. "I’m so interested to see what makes it different for Little Mix [and X Factor girl group still going strong since they formed in 2011]”. 

In 2020, Cabello will make her next career move – into acting. James Corden personally picked her to star in and contribute to the score of a modern musical version of Cinderella, which he is producing. “He saw my L’Oreal advert where I was basically just being an idiot, and he thought that was cool,” she explains. She sounds a little daunted – and is currently taking acting classes – but it feels like the obvious next chapter in a life that is taking on a fairy-tale dimension of its own. 

“You know what,” Cowell had told me before hanging up. “I would never have guessed, all those years ago, that when I met someone who was having the worst day of her life, who was crying at the back of that arena, that now we’d be having this conversation. Can you believe it?”Camila Cabello’s new single is out on Thursday

#camila cabello #camilizers #shawmila #simon cowell #james corden