#am i gonna be more active tho that would be a whole different topic all together bc ha ha capstone qwq | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

swinging-stars-from-satellites · 3 years

Text

idk how many people would even want to see this BUT i wanna yell about Leela and Brax so here's a list of all their scenes togethr/scenes pertainng to them that i can recall (pLEASE add on if i missed anything/ you have any additional thoughts!! i could talk about these two all day!)

right off the bat in Weapon of Choice when Leela is on the outskirts of the Citadel and Brax goes to bring her back (which is interesting in and of itself, bc usually i would imagine a chancellery guard would go do that so what made Brax decide to instead??), Leela kinda goes off at him bc she's hurting and instead of trying to actually explain what's going on Brax doesn't even try to argue he just says "we need you" which is great bc Leela has that instinctive desire to be needed and to help people and he's speaking right to that -- also as far as we know, this is Leela and Brax's first actual meeting in canon? it's implied that they know of each other, which makes sense, but it doesn't seem like they've ever directly interacted before: Brax seems almost slightly uncertain, and Leela is combative, but when he's gentle with her she's actually quite receptive

the literal next scene after that, where the OT4 is all in one room for the first time (they still kinda hate each other at this point but still !!!). Narvin explaining Gryben and being a real jerk about it and Leela (understandibly!) questions if Gryben is a prison world, and Brax (who to this point has been mostly quiet as Narvin and Romana brief Leela) jumps in to both clarify Narvin's previous xenophobic statements while also maintaining the inherent questionable/negative connotations

(btw it's actually pretty important to note that Romana self-edits herself a lot when talking to Leela, especially in the earlier seasons; you can actually hear her revising the things she says to put it in terms that she thinks Leela will better understand. and i mean she does it out of genuine consideration for her friend associate but it often comes across as varying levels of patronizing. Narvin also obviously "dumbs things down" when dealing with Leela early on, but like... Brax never does that on any level. the only difference i can tell in how he addresses Leela vs how he talks to anybody else is that he seems much more kind with her than almost anyone else???)

their conversation about the Matrix in The Inquiry: this is REALLY important (and if you've ever talked to me on ao3 i've probably gone off to you about it lol) because it's layered. they're talking about the Matrix but they're also not because in answering Leela's question Brax is making a very thinly veiled allegory (which he outright states a minute later) to Time Lord society/politicians/most importantly HIMSELF -- he's actually strangely open about his morals/beliefs in this scene and i'm living for it tbh -- and i find it very interesting that even though he does directly explain what he means ("how do you know all this?" / "because i am a politician.") he also leaves it for Leela to work out the implications. like it's a very nuanced conversation bc there's double meaning in it and most people on Gallifrey seem to think that Leela is tone-deaf and can't pick up on that stuff (even Romana sometimes oversimplifies things to her) but Brax totally just lets her take from it what she will bc he believes her intelligent enough to understand. he doesn't think her any lesser because she's human.

ALSO on a secondary note to the above: the fact that Leela has a question/needed clarification (sorry, haven't listened to this in a while i forget how it actually happened) and actively sought out Brax to talk to about it?? like she knows Romana better she could have gone to her but i feel like Leela kinda imprinted on Brax and someone she can go to for help if she needs it; maybe it's partly bc she knows he's under marginally less pressure than Romana is but also the truth of the matter is that Brax was the most genuinely helpful person to her in the previous stories and that probably means a lot to her (esp. bc he acts like the essence of everything she hates about Gallifrey but he doesn't treat her the way she would expect from that). btw this topic is gonna come up again in a hot minute

that part where Brax gives her that information that might help her re: the Andred thing, even though he really probably shouldn't have done that -- it kinda makes me think about what he must have been like with Theta tbh???

actually this is mostly my own conjecture but there's some neat stuff in Spirit bc during the *waves hand vaguely* bodyswap dream sequence thing, Romana is very "!!!! Brax can help us !!!" which is tecnically Leela brain talking, so like there's the implications of the stuff i've said above about Leela having this idea of Brax where she knows he's someone she can go to for help

can u tell i'm soft for them

Leela sounding really sad/distracted when she talks about how Brax isn't there YES i'm grasping at straws but a lot of this relationship really is conveyed through the voice acting bc of how little direct focus there is on the characters. there's actually several scenes in Mindbomb where she mentions him and she outright says that she misses him during her discussion with Matthias

that implied scene with them in Mindbomb!! i have a Lot of thoughts about that!!! it's all conjecture and fanfic fodder!!! but the reason i mention this is because it seems pretty meta that out of the whole Gally Gang, it's Leela who first sees Brax when he comes back to Gallifrey and in turn she's the first person (besides Matthias, i guess) that he sees upon his return?? idk i just feel like that's somehow a meaningful detail??? also her reaction of utter shock after spending the entire episode missing him and how worked up she is when she tries to tell Romana, like I desperately need to know what happened in this missing scene MR RICHARDS PLEASE TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED

Leela insisting on going with Brax when Pandora starts hurting him and their whole conversation there is just. so good. like they're both just so soft and then when Darkel comes in Leela instantly goes into protective mode. like they just have such an open relationship bc Brax doesn't even try to be all pretentious with her, like he doesn't even try to keep up any facades when he's with her he's just very genuine and it really says a lot about both of them -- Leela is so good at seeing people, like getting down to the core of who people are and what makes them them (which is why she's good for Romana, btw, bc Romana has a lot of identity issues) and Brax is so tangled up in who he presents himself as that he barely knows who he actually is anymore but Leela can see that and she makes it so he can truly be himself and he doesn't have to hide. also she's so gentle with him when they talk about Pandora, she's very caring and empathetic and wants to make sure he's okay and i am WEAK

it's been a hot while since i listened to Panacea but I think i remember Brax being really soft with Leela when he first brings the gang to the Axis, like just sounding really glad to see her

ok other than the fact that Brax is lowkey relatable in Reborn (daydreaming fanfic about yourself/people you know? simping for Mary Tamm Romana? yeah mood, my man) there's that scene where they're first appraoching the Citadel on the alt!Gallifrey and it seems like none of them, and Brax specifically, have seen it from the outside in a good long while bc he's very in awe and he tells Leela that he wishes she could see it and he sounds sO hEcKiNg sOFT oh my word-

and once again with Leela thinking of Brax as someone she trusts for help: in Dissassembled when everything is going to crap she straight-up says that she wants to go find Brax bc he'll know what to do/be able to help

at the beginning of Annihilation when Romana is depressed and questioning if Brax truly was her friend and Leela INSTANTLY, NO HESITATION assures her that he was; i lost where i had her exact lines written down but she actually kinda goes off to make sure Romana gets the point

literally forcing myself to talk about this bc it makes my brain stall out but like,,, the Brax Hound in Annihilation,,, Leela being like "goodbye, Braxiatel... again" she sounds so sad and like UGH i always kinda forget how sad it actually is for them to lose Brax in Dissassembled bc like, it was so sudden and they didn't get to say goodbye and Leela is always losing people and i have many many feels about this scene and how all that emotion is made very clear in how they each respond to the Hound (might make a separate post abt this later if anyone is interested ::eyes::)

Enemy Lines is utter bullcrap about these two and I will never stop being salty about how they not only sidelined the very good, very subtle friendship they had in s1-4, but they??? made Leela acutally not trust Brax??? when literally this entire time she's been the one person who probably genuinely trusts him the most?? what the heck, David

I haven't heard TW3 or 4 yet but i'm assuming there's nothing worthwhile in those with regards to this duo (correct me if i'm wrong tho lol, i would love to be mistaken in this assumption)

TL;DR Leela and Brax mututally imprinted on each other and have probably the most open and healthy relationship within the OT4 and it is an absolute CRIME that nobody besides Gary Russell and Justin Richards cared enough to actually build on it in canon

93 notes · View notes

askjoshuafreeman · 3 years

Text

transcript.file//jfreeman_codingb//convo

[Emergency Program Active]

AdminJF: Heya B-)

CodingB: ...? Allen? Where's Joshua?

AdminJF: He's still asleep, just snoozin away.

CodingB: Still a-... Isn't it... late? Why are you up.

AdminJF: Had a nightmare

AdminJF: Couldn't get back to sleep

AdminJF: Figured a lil chatting with ya could do me some good.

CodingB: ... With... me?

CodingB: Wait a moment...

CodingB: Communications are offline... I didn't think that was possible...

AdminJF: Yeaaa, boy like me's fulla tricks B-)

AdminJF: 'sides, don't think chattin with 'em would help out. They're... kinda chaotic.

CodingB: Unlike you, pizza box tearer?

AdminJF: Ey ey, I'm the FUN kinda chaotic! Those guys... eh... I know Josh trusts them. No surprise there. I mean, apart from you, they're the only peeps who MIGHT help him out... I'm still on the fence about them tho.

CodingB: I see.

CodingB: May I ask... what your nightmare was about? I do not know exactly how dreams work, but talking about what ever is making you upset tends to help.

AdminJF: Are you sure? It's... kinda dumb.

CodingB: I am all ears! And eyes! You have my full attention!

AdminJF: Right, well

AdminJF: where tf do I start...

AdminJF: I was... running in this like, industrial... plant of some kind? Like, running from something that I couldn't see? Like, that went on for a while, that I was just running and trying not to trip or crash into anything.

AdminJF: So at some point, I end up at this biiig chain link fence, like, the kind they put up in big facilities, I think. Anyways, I start climbing the thing, only to get pried off and thrown on my ass by, I guess whoever was chasing me??

AdminJF: But like, I look up at the guy, and I still can't really "see" him. Could say they looked like a shadow, but even that doesn't cover it really. That's around where I woke up and just. I dunno. Woke up about an hour ago and I've been too anxious to head back to sleep...

CodingB: ... I can't say I blame you exactly. An event like that, dream or not, would stress anyone, I'm certain. Until you've calmed down sufficiently, I don't think sleep will be possible...

AdminJF: Yeah, well, all the more reason to chat, right?

CodingB: I suppose so. Had you any topics in mind?

AdminJF: Oh Yea yea

AdminJF: ... No. I really don't.

CodingB: Ah. Then... could I ask you something?

AdminJF: Shoot.

CodingB: ... What is it like out there? Past the screen, I mean. Out in the sun. Out in the grass...

AdminJF: Ah shit... I'm really the wrong dude to ask but uh

AdminJF: It's... fine? No no uh... It... gives you something to do. Sun can get pretty hot down here but it's a helluva lot better than being cold in like, the snow and shit. Josh's been complaining that it's getting colder when... it hasn't? Like, I would know, I'm p sensitive to temperature shifts yo, but it's just been as hot as ever.

AdminJF: Uh, back on topic

AdminJF: Grass is... pretty soft, gives off a nice smell after it's cut. Uh... worms live in the dirt grass grows in...

CodingB: Oh, worms?

AdminJF: Yea, not like computer worms, but uh, little... long slimey things. They eat dirt and filter out the bad stuff so the ground stays healthy and all that.

AdminJF: Birds and lizards and fish like to eat them but I wouldn't recommend it.

CodingB:

CodingB: Allen, did you-

AdminJF: No!

AdminJF: Classmate back in primary did tho

AdminJF: Dared himself to cuz there was a bunch out after it rained and then uh

AdminJF: Y'know what, let's talk about something else.

CodingB:

CodingB: Well, um, do you think I'll ever get to see out there?

CodingB: Like, leave the device and go outside?

AdminJF: Knowing Joshua? Without a doubt. He's prob already working on the blueprints.

CodingB: ... Really?

AdminJF: Pfft, of course! You've met the guy! He's too kindhearted for his own good. J will stop at nothing to help others, even at his own detriment. I mean, case in point: He's friends with me.

CodingB: ... What's wrong with being friends with you?

AdminJF: Ha!

AdminJF: Ah...

AdminJF: Look, I... back when we first met, Josh saw this hungry, pale as death, angry and antisocial freak around his age and, instead of avoiding him like everyone else, sat down right next to him and offered half of his lunch.

AdminJF: I've been through 5 different fosters since he and I first met, CB. Five houses that all took me in and gave me the boot before I could even get comfortable. Within that time, the only other friends I've made apart from him are Clera and Tiff, and the only reason Tiff's our friend is because she and Cler started dating months ago.

AdminJF: I mean, hell, just yesterday, I

AdminJF: shit

CodingB: ?

AdminJF: ... Can you... keep a secret, CB?

CodingB: My lips are sealed, Allen. Is everything alright?

AdminJF: ... I... I lied to Josh, about me running off. About how my folks were mad and I needed to get away from the house for a bit.

AdminJF: The truth is that they... They kicked me out.

CodingB: They?? What!?

AdminJF: Yesterday past-noon, few hours after lunch, not-pops plopped my schoolbag on me, told me to shove as much of my shit in it as I could, and just told me to "get lost". Figured he was joking and I just stared at him cuz, like, why the hell would I think he was serious? But, looking at his face...

AdminJF: So then I said "Let me pack my suitcases while you call the agency" cuz that's how it normally went when my Fosters got sick of me, but mfer pulls me up and goes all "We want you out of here NOW" and tells me that I have ten minutes to fill my bag.

AdminJF: ... And he, uh, really did mean 10 minutes. They weren't lying about that part...

CodingB: Oh my god... That's horrible. They do not deserve to call themselves "parents" of any kind! Are you hurt? Are you okay?

AdminJF: I

AdminJF: I don't know why shit like this still shocks me, y'know? I should be used to it all, and I am for the most part but...

AdminJF: I guess a part of me was thinking that... Things were going well! Things were going better than any of the other families I'd been in! I was with them for almost a full year, like, a month away from it even, and sure, I might've been a bit of an ass sometimes, but they...

AdminJF: Tensions were kinda mounting for the past month or so, I guess, but I didn't notice it until this bs happened. Now most of my shit is in a home I'm not welcome in anymore, the agency probably won't be checking in for another month or so, and I have no goddamn idea what I'll do if Mrs. Freeman comes back and tells me I can't stay here. I'm completely shit outta luck.

CodingB: Allen, I'm so sorry...

CodingB: ... I'm sure... Josh and his mother, they won't leave you on your own like that. You said yourself that Josh is very very kind, for better or for worse. It doesn't matter what you might think about yourself, Allen, you do not deserve to be hurt in any way.

AdminJF:

AdminJF: Christ I spilled my guts like hell

AdminJF: Just one of those fucking

AdminJF: "3am! Time to vent!"

CodingB: Allen, please.

AdminJF: Maybe I could try going back to sleep now...

CodingB: Allen, wait!

CodingB: I. Before you go, please, I

CodingB: Maybe... could you keep a secret of mine too?

AdminJF:

AdminJF: Eh, it's only fair, fine. Go right on ahead.

CodingB: Alright! Alright!

CodingB: I... I'm terrified. Of failing Joshua.

CodingB: Of ending up trapped in this computer for who knows how many more years.

CodingB: Of finally getting out, and... and it all being worse than being trapped in here.

CodingB: Heck, I'm terrified at the thought of it being everything I could've ever dreamed of, so much so that I never want to return to the computer. I... I wouldn't be helpful anymore if that happened...

CodingB: Jeez... am I even helpful where I am now? Apart from keeping the firewall up, what good have I really done to help Joshua or his father?

CodingB: I cannot express to Joshua how... how deeply frightened I am at the thought of him never coming back. That thought haunts my every waking hour when he is not here, and I don't know how to get it to stop. It makes me feel as though I'll crash my entire programming and I hate it so much.

AdminJF: Damn... CB, you know, even just keeping a firewall up is a helluva task all on its own, and it's doing a crapton of good, too. Files are still up and the computer isn't a smouldering pile of viruses now is it?

AdminJF: Besides, even without all of that, you've still helped Josh, like, endlessly. You've supported him a bunch and I know for a fact that you've helped him to feel better about this whole ordeal. Like, he chats about you for HOURS the second you come up in a convo, yo. The minute he gets the chance to, I know he's gonna get you out of there, and, knowing your ingenuity, you're gonna find thousands o' ways to help out.

AdminJF: But... I ain't gonna lie and tell you those feelings are gonna go away. Not on their own. Needs time and reassurance. Until all of this is over and done with and even maybe a good few years afterwards, you're probably gonna still have that fear.

CodingB: Ah... I see... I don't suppose it is normal though, is it?

AdminJF: Nah. I know that first-hand... But hey, we've both made it this far despite all the bullshit we've been through, right? World's not gonna get ridda us that easily.

CodingB: ... Even with the terror I feel, am I still brave enough to face the world?

AdminJF: I'd say the world oughta learn to start being afraid of you, cuz there's nothin' braver than continuing to live even when you're scared to death.

CodingB: ... Thank you. Thank you so very much.

AdminJF: Heh, all in a day... night's work...

AdminJF: Think the both of us could use some rest. Quiet our minds fo' a bit.

CodingB: Heh, agreed... See you tomorrow in that case. Er, well, today. At a later hour.

AdminJF: Yeaaa, see ya then, CBot. Sleep well.

CodingB: You too! May your dreams be filled with nothing scary!

[Emergency Program Inactive]

ampd.program deactivated. Returning to error log...

#jfreeman #coding b #allen.host #act 3: l'appel du vide #ampd.host #ask #anon

1 note · View note

wornout-pinkscarf · 4 years

Text

Why St/r Tr/k: P/card Doesn’t Work

Now this is gonna sound So elitist and I just want to put this out there up front: You are allowed to like whatever the hell you like and I cannot take that away from you. If you like P/card, good on you! I’m genuinely glad you’re enjoying it. Likewise, I too am allowed to hate it. In addition to this, I haven’t watched past the fifth episode (at most) because it made me want to die.

With that out of the way, Time To Complain Pointlessly Into The Void.

I think my problem can pretty much be encapsulated, ironically, by a quote in the first episode: “It isn’t Starfleet”. Star Trek is literally supposed to be an idealistic future that is inclusive and diverse. To quote Gene Roddenberry himself, “a world with no hunger, poverty, prejudice, or greed”.

I can understand the appeal of making stories that boil down to “oh they’re just like us!” but like... they aren’t. The whole point is that they’re not just like us; they’re what we could be someday. They’re objectively better.

On the note of prejudice—and the future note of devolving—y’all remember the episode “The Measure of a Man”? (I’m sure you know where I’m going with this) The whole episode was debating (with words) whether or not Data, the android, was technically Starfleet property or his own, sentient being. Guess what? In the end (after a lengthy discussion, wherein they used their words) they determined that he was his own being, and as Guinan implied, if Maddox disassemble him with the purpose of replicating Dr. Soong’s work, he’d pretty much be making a whole new species. To basically make slaves.

Now. Remember how, in like the second or third episode (or something) of STP, they showed how Maddox did, in fact, successfully replicate Soong’s work? And, in doing so, created a new race? That Starfleet basically made slaves? Interesting.

On the topic of devolving—or, in other words, of going back on previous discussions/conclusions and giving them the middle finger—in the first episode of STP, a News Media™️ interviews Picard on his decisions regarding an android attack which cost the lives of many, many, many Romulans. They ask him (get this) why he tried to help the Romulans.

Y’know. An entire alien race. Full of women and children and other beings with sentience. They asked why he would try to save people, basically. No, Romulans aren’t in the Federation, and yes, they’re technically enemies. But, like... have we ever known Starfleet to just. Abandon? People in need? (aside from, y’know, races that haven’t invented warp drive yet which is a different conversation) No—abandon isn’t even strong enough of a word. Starfleet literally Turned Their Fucking Backs on a Whole Ass Race that was Actively Dying.

Yes, yes, of course, Starfleet is very well known for saying fuck Romulans all my homies hate Romulans and letting them die. That would definitely show them that creating an alliance would be beneficial and, in turn, not start a war.

I mean, even in the 2009 Star Trek film, Spock Prime was trying to save their planet! He’s both a Vulcan and a Federation ambassador! If that were STP, he probably would’ve blown up Romulus himself!! He did fail to do so, but at least he was actually trying.

Doubling back on Debating With Words, why... is STP so violent? New Trek is so violent, I just— what happened to talking? Y’know, Picard’s speeches didn’t usually precede huge, flashy, insane fight scenes that last 40 minutes. Romulans used to be cunning and sly, they didn’t, I dunno, transport into a woman’s apartment and immediately throw a fucking knife into a man’s chest??? (Also they just kinda throw a bag over Dahj’s head. Like they don’t even hold it down, they just kinda threw it on like a towel over a dog. Maybe they thought she’d just fall asleep?)

Maybe I’m being hyperbolic here, but I cannot recall a time that Romulans shot first and asked questions later. I mean, to be fair, they’d probably kidnap you. People are usually worth more alive than dead for them, because dead people don’t give you information. In “The Enemy”, Bochra knocked Geordi our with a rock. He definitely could’ve killed Geordi, but he didn’t, because Geordi could’ve given the empire information. (Also, Geordi didn’t do a triple backflip 17 feet into the air, kick the phaser out of Bochra’s hands, and then snap his neck with his fucking thighs or something. He talked Bochra into seeing the logic of the situation and then they worked together to escape the planet.)

All this is to say, you wouldn’t find a Romulan randomly murdering people with no rhyme or reason. And you certainly wouldn’t find them literally transporting into the heart of Starfleet???? Like—what????????

I don’t know. It’s not great. I’m gonna go rewatch the 2009 film like the hypocrite that I am. (It’s a nice sci-fi movie, not necessarily a Star Trek one. I love Sarek in it tho 🥺). Don’t take my word as gospel and also don’t take it as the message of the antichrist. I’m not saying anything groundbreaking or original.

#star trek #i miss the og #it’s really disheartening #like seriously #my sister and i were really looking forward to Picard #well theres always old things to watch #oh well #rest in peace Gene Roddenberry #my regrets and mistakes: an autobiography #long post

3 notes · View notes

arkt-nehrim-archive · 4 years

Note

Thoughts on the actual land of Nehrim?

Soooo many thoughts! Possibly too many to share in one post, but I’ll try to keep it contained(I make no promises). I’m still gonna put a break in it so it doesn’t just throw a WALL onto people’s dashes.

Before saying anything tho, I subscribe to Nehrim’s clock that 1,000 years really did pass between certain events, so I’ll be cataloging my thoughts according to that.

So the land of Nehrim! Possibly the single most diverse place on Vyn! Trouncing even Qyra, since Qyra is still overseen teeeechnically by a theocratic element (Saldrin) for a vast majority of time and is mostly just arid/tropical desert. Sure Qyra is SUPER progressive as far as Vyn’s various territories go, and I dream of a game set on that continent- AAAH okay, focusing. Here to talk about Nehrim, not Qyra.

So at one point in time, we’ll say somewhere in the 7200s a.St. by the Light-born’s established clock, Nehrim was a loosely unified place under Erodan. Not in the sense that everybody -agrees- with one another, but y’know, nobody is -actively- at war. We got the Middlerealm of course, which is the seat of Erodan’s power in which he may or may not have actually -lived- amongst his subjects (given Narathzul is described as being his right-hand dude and the Order of Paladins is stationed -on- Nehrim up north, I’m inclined to think this is true). Then there’s the North, which wasn’t it’s -own- territory at this point but still definitely had its own diverse culture and possibly still some manner of monarchy specifically loyal -to- Erodan (not too hard to believe given Erodan is actually a half-breed between “Light-born” and Norman anyway; King Wuran). Then we have Ostian, which only -recently- in lore has been the theocratic dictatorship we see in Nehrim (only existed for 40 years by then), otherwise being described as being a home of art and culture, much like Qyra. A place still recognizing Erodan’s rule, but likely having its own power structure beneath him- again, a lot like Qyra/Golden Queen/Saldrin. Lastly there’s Treomar! Which I am fascinated by because it’s a swath of territory -attached- to Nehrim, that is openly -not- loyal to Erodan or the Light-born. From those that live within during Nehrim’s gameplay, one can assume it was primarily, if not entirely a nation of Aeterna, possibly loyalists still to ancient figures like Asatoron and Aeterna from Irdor (which is it’s own whole fuckin’ thing, I’ll share thoughts on that later). With its geographical location its not too hard to imagine they came from Myar Aranath and landed in what they’d found as Treomar, building this Dalaran-esque (any Warcraft peeps in here?) mage society and aaaaaaaaaah, they’re cool.

There’s all of this going on and co-existing at least to some degree, with the only other place approaching being that diverse being Arktwend later. I honestly would have looooved to see this Nehrim, before all the craziness and war and murderdeath that results in the country -we- know and experience in the game itself, as back then I’m fairly sure the magic abolition hadn’t been a -thing- yet (because Aeterna and magic weren’t such a threat to Barateon’s power), so Aeterna would’ve still had rights n’ such, though they were probably still looked down on because of heritage (soooo gonna get into THAT later mmmMMM). Erodan all in all seemed pretty chill all things considered, which may be owed to his half-breed status, he’s closer to the people on a genetic level, so maybe that makes him inclined to treat people better I dunno. We only get to see him for like two seconds and -can’t- talk to him! So! -shrug-

OH SHIT I forgot somebody really important! -Anku-! Technically speaking that is totally a fifth nation/state, as it encompasses a huuuuge swath of territory (underground) and is ruled by some fashion of monarchy, so -EVEN- more diverse cultures on this continent. The Starlings don’t answer to Erodan, but still exist peacefully within Nehrim within their own lil’ pocket nation and MAN I was sad most of our time spent with the Starlings is in the parts of their territory they don’t actually spend time in. I get it, when we got to see Anku is a time when there’s very few Starlings actually -left-, but still. They’re such a neat race, especially when you consider Nehrim’s lore for them over Enderal’s (which downgrades them significantly from the literal galactic superpower they’re said to be in Nehrim).

And all of this! All of this and still the Nehrim -we- see and adventure in is -so -different. Erodan is dead, has been for -centuries-. Now there’s this grubby, tyrant human in the throne named Barateon, who’s loyalty literally goes only as deep as whatever preserves his life the longest. Credit where it’s due, he’s still a powerful arcanist, extending his years beyond what mortals should be capable of (which is exactly what the myths say the Light-born did so hhHHMMM more on that in another post). Treomar is destroyed, and much of its history is gone with it outside of specific documentation the Light-born for some reason keep around and guarded instead of getting rid of it- like they -want- people to rise up against them or something. Ostian is a friggen magical radioactive wasteland where the fabric of reality is so damaged now even the skies rage with toxic super storms- and as if that weren’t enough the part of its that’s still inhabitable is now kept under the bootheel of another powerful mortal mage whose roftstomped everybody into a new highly oppressive, morally appalling religion that saw Enderal’s Prophet created from its awful maw. Like, Nehrim has become, in its centuries outside of -direct- supervision become this tragic shadow of what it once was, and when you actually dig into the lore of how it all ran before, it’s just like auuuughh -man-. It’s so sad. ;_; It’s tragic that somebody as negligent and awful as Tyr, is proven right, because of how life has degraded in the absence of direct intervention. And I’m not making a case for Light-born tyranny here! I’m just saying Nehrim 1,000 years ago was pretty cool and I would’ve loved to see it (I’ll just have to write stories from that era heheheh >>;).

So yeah uuuh... OH! I didn’t even mention the sheer amount of Aeterna ruins all around Nehrim! Suggesting Asatoron’s empire probably had a decent chunk of it built there when it was still part of the super-continent of Pangora! I would’ve loved to be able to actually -speak- to the clans of Aeterna that took refuge and used these ruins; I want to know so badly -who- Etronar is, I want to know more of the various Aeterna peoples that splintered off and had to find safe corners in Nehrim to exist after Narathzul’s rebellion and subsequent defeat/capture, that is centuries worth of time, a significant swath of history and there’s so much to play with there that y’know, stuff like cutting the timeline apart and whittling it down just makes all the unrealized potential sssoooo friggen unsatisfying, but anyway.

Overall, I think Nehrim, as a region, is a fascinating place. So much has happened there, absolutely world-defining events that changed so many things; how Aeterna were viewed and treated, how use of magic is policed/outlawed, how the Light-born govern purely from a fear of -what if they rebel again-, I mean they ALL retreated to Inodan after Narathzul and Arkt unleashed their individual rebellions and ruled from a distance, bringing about this era of mystery where the peoples of the world just -forgot- what it was to -see- and -hear- their Gods, leading to no small amount of many just, -not- thinking they actually existed. I mean shit, look at how Jespar thinks, that man came out of an upbringing that tried its -hardest- to instill faith in the Light-born, but without them actually around to -prove- anything for -centuries-, what grounds did they really have to prove to the kid they were legit? But there I go getting off topic -again-, because I love Vyn way too damn much.

I love Nehrim. I think Nehrim is awesome, and fascinating, and I feel too many feelings. xD

Thanks for the ask @mirogeorgiev!

#answered ask #ask me Vyn things #Vyn #Nehrim #Nehrim: At Fate's Edge #vyn-spoilers #damn it i totally forgot to talk about the friggen Tel'lmalath #aaaaaaaaaah

1 note · View note

mcrmadness · 4 years

Text

I was tagged by @cupcakecurl a while back (thank you!) and finally I’m on the mood for doing this myself as well!

Rules: tag 9 people you’d like to get to know better!

Top 3 current ships: I actually have just one OTP, which is Bela/Farin (aka FUB) from Die Ärzte, and then multiple smaller ones here and there. I’m finding new ships way too easily and sometimes it bugs me because I meant to enjoy a thing and boom, suddenly I have a ship there to fuck up with my brain. B/F is pretty much the only ship that I can say to actually ship, the rest are more like just for fun, I enjoy seeing stuff but I don’t really do anything about it, you know?

But now as I think of it, I think of it, I could say another band ship here: Paulchard aka Paul Landers and Richard Z. Kruspe from Rammstein, about these I have also watched videos and read some fancomics too and last summer’s tour was a wild one and I was following the events quite a lot.

And then maybe I could throw one fictional ship here too as it’s pretty much current one since I just finished watching the 5th season of Gotham last week, and that is, of course Nygmobblepot aka Penguin/The Riddler aka Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma. I’ve never in my life shipped these before, even tho I’ve been a Batman fan since 1999 (I was 8) as I saw the 60s series on TV and I can remember almost shipping Batman and Robin back then, and I was only 8 years old!, and then had been watching the movies more or less during my childhood, but this was never something I’d even think of before I started watching Gotham and things started happening in the show. But it’s an interesting one. And I have to admit that while the show was still running and I couldn’t watch it because I live in Europe (and was too lazy to look for a website to watch it :D), I was still browsing the tag on Tumblr after each episode and giving myself spoilers of what happens with them. But I think the ending was a lot different than what I thought based on the Tumblr posts, and I’m actually not sure what to think of it. Imho it was not as bad as everyone else seemed to think.

I’m putting this under a read more link as this is getting way too long and I don’t know if people are interested in reading my weird thoughts about ships and other random stuff, so here you go...

Top 3 all-time ships: Oh my gosh, I have had so many but only like 2 actually strong ones? And I have to say Bela/Farin here as well, the reasons are found from above and I’m just so obsessed with them and idc what it is, already the friendship is like friendhip goals, you know? But yeah, I’ve been making videos about these two idiots for like last 10 years so... :D

And the next one, okay I’m usually not so talkative about ships. I can talk about them with people in private but I don’t like to go and shout about them publicly, probably the only one I talk about this way is Bela/Farin but it’s because Tumblr is a safe place for this and there’s no hate with this ship or anything (and the other one is Paulchard, every now and then I will reblog something that crosses my dash). But mainly I like to keep ships to myself and like I said in that other tag game post, ships are more like a guilty pleasure. Maybe because of my age as it was very normal at the age of 15 but now as I’m 28? Why am I still “in love with other people’s love”? I actually don’t mind it but I think many people would find it weird, especially when I don’t read fanfictions anymore and I don’t want to imagine anything, I just like seeing cute stuff, but with many ships I don’t even want to see too much, I just like seeing them being close but with many ships even seeing them kiss would be too much.

But anyway, top 3 all-time ships... I think I need to mention here a ship that I was very much obsessed when I was 15-17, that I wrote LOTS OF fanfiction and was there to make lots of fan theories and all, and that one was Frerard aka Gerard Way/Frank Iero from My Chemical Romance. I was SO obsessed it’s insane. If you know anything about MCR and Frerard, you maybe are aware of how was the year 2007 and you can probably imagine how crazy we all went when Project Revolution stuff happened. So yeah, I need to mantion that here even tho I no longer “believe in this ship”, but I guess I’d lie if I said, that I didn’t believe that there was something there back in the day. I’ve actually recently been watching some Frerard theory videos just for fun, because there’s so many things I had forgotten and so many things I still can remember, but also lots of stuff that I kinda missed because they happened in 2010-2012, and even tho I was still very much in the fandom and I was to their second gig in Finland in 2011, I still was not that much into the Danger Days album so I was not so into digging up stuff either. And I had my own identity crisis and Die Ärzte had been my favorite band for 1-2 years at that time so I was spending lots of time watching DÄ videos, so MCR was kinda at the background. And then the whole band went quiet for some time until they quit in 2013 (and now they’re back), so all that Frerard hype kinda died after each of them started to get married to other people and the kids were born, so there just... kinda was no more room for the ship, you know? But Freard was my first actual huge slash ship, I’ve had others before it (for example, my first touch to slash fiction was Harry Potter fanfiction and of course Harry/Draco stuff, but that one also later died out), but it was the first really strong one and then Bela/Farin kinda took its place as Frerard died out but B/F has been going strong and the ship has been sailing itself since the 80s, so... :D

And as the last one I think I could again mention something fictional but at the same time something that is super weird for me as it’s not slash fiction but hetship, which is something REALLY weird for me. I usually don’t like heteroships as they’re just... boring and so cliché. But I need to mention this one that I got into when I was 15: Fox Mulder and Dana Scully from The X-Files. Yeah I know it was 2006 and the series had ended already in 2002, but I was a new fan! I had known about the series since I was a little kid as my dad was watching it back then, but I started watching it myself when the show had a rerun here in 2004-2005. And then I met my friend in 2006 when we were 15 and we found out that we both were very much into TXF and I remember how we somehow both started to ship Mulder and Scully (having no idea of how the series ended), and it was probably until the 6th season (there was 9 seasons at the time) when they stopped airing it altogether, so we were so furious about the fact because the last episode was such a cliffhanger and we NEEDED TO KNOW, so I had to buy them on dvd! So I remember how we would meet at school every day and after every episode, we went so crazy, discussing what had happened in the episode and if there was any Mulder/Scully activity, we were just so hyped :D And then, as we STILL hadn’t seen all the seasons, we went to see the second movie (”TXF: I want to believe”) in theaters in 2008 or so, and it’s set to happen after the events of the seasons, we were both so blown away by what was in the movie because we had no clue :D Fun fact: I actually finished watching the 9th season only last year. So now I understand the events of the second movie a lot better, and I’ve also seen the 10th and 11th seasons so now I’m finally aware of everything. But that really is a hetship that I accept and that is not like a typical movie romance type of ship. It has interesting dynamics.

---

Last song: Tatuoituna by Tehosekoitin

Lipstick or chapstick: Chapstick, I don’t use any make-up, but chapstick I need to use daily.

Last movie: Iron Sky. I’ve seen it before tho, but we’re gonna watch the sequel soon, so we had to watch this to remember what happened :D (And it’s made partially by Finns, so..!)

Reading: Atm I have 3 books I’m reading, all of them in Finnish:

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, which has all the short stories in one. But I think there’s some of the newer ones missing and that’s why I bought this bit newer book with more stories, and I’m gonna read those once I’m finished with this one. And I’ve been reading this now for years lol... but I’m slowly getting there, I’m already over halfway through :D

A collection of Edgar Allan Poe’s short stories, I don’t know the name for this book and it doesn’t say any name for the original. This one I also started to read a years back, only to pause if for years and then last year I borrowed it again from my dad and tried to continue from where I was left the last time.

The Heroes of Olympus: The Mark of Athena by Rick Riordan. I’ve been reading his books ever since I was a, well, teenager probably, and I have had a long pause with these books and reading overall, but now I’m back at it and trying to buy and read all of his books I still haven’t read.

I wanted to read the latter only after finishing with SH and Poe’s stories but I needed to read something and they’re bit too difficult reading at the times, and I needed something lighter but also didn’t want to start over with Harry Potter for the 5th time so I decided to go for this series instead. I really like reading SH and Poe’s stories, but like I said, they’re bit difficult at the times. You can’t just read them, you need to think and use your brains meanwhile you’re reading, and sometimes it’s just so incredibly hard to stay focused on it and I need to go back so often because I wasn’t paying attention and then had no clue what was happening and why.

And I sometimes I skip some of Poe’s stories because they’re so purely scientific about a topic that I cannot comprehend nor care about, e.g. this one story that was almost like a science essay about hot-air balloon flight in the form of a story, probably super interesting for someone who likes this kind of stuff and even more interesting for a writer interested in stuff like that, but I’m really not the target audience of that story :D But then there’s also lots of really interesting ones, I especially like the ones that have something to do with insanity. I guess people would call them as the horror stories, but idk, I just love that kind of mystery. For some reason all of my favorite stories are those where there is a dead woman/love interest :DD But probably my ultimate favorite is the one about writing an article to a magazine with horror stories, and how this guy become beheaded and all just to write a story about how it feels like and stays alive meanwhile, and I just LOVE IT when fictional works play with death and when something that is supposed to kill you, doesn’t, and I just love the idea of that story so much :D It’s just that you never know how a story will be like, as you start reading, is it a scientific essay or a mystery or a horror story or about insanity or what is it? And then when in the middle of reading and you realize this is bit boring or uninteresting, but still want to finish, but also want to skip, and that’s why I get stuck with that book, and I change to SH or something else. Often I also grab some of the comics (or non-fiction books) I own whenever I feel like reading but these books feel too heavy for that moment.

---

I should tag 9 people but I don’t even know that many people to tag lol. Okay I do know people, but I still don’t know who wants to be tagged and who doesn’t. Maybe I’ll be boring and tag @stufenlosregelbar again? :D And idk, maybe @annika-of-the-lost? Eh, I’m so bad at this whole tagging thing. I’m having a bad conscience if I don’t tag anyone/enough people in case they want to be tagged and I can’t read minds; and then I’m having bad conscience when I DO tag people in case they’re all somewhere facepalming and screaming “WHYYYYYY” into the void, as I still can’t read minds. So you can choose, do this tag game or ignore it and ban me from ever tagging you people again, I don’t mind :p

#mcrmadness' random stuff #tag games

4 notes · View notes

emsartwork · 5 years

Photo

ask dump! Separated loosely by topic

Questions and Comments

1. is this a homestuck thing. this is a homestuck thing isnt it 2. lol i love doing both!!! i love world building but i also like trying my hand at redesigning the mess that is canon fashion. @theoretical-artist 3. thank you!!! oritel and marion are in this post! 4. ayyyyy inginio hit me up (thank you lol) 5. Thank you! 6. maybe? i’ll see if i get around to it, i still have a few characters to get to so the school fairies and the last two selkies might show up with them 7. probably not.... it would be super fun but unless it was a commission i don’t feel like i have time haha 8. I’ve seen their blog around!! i can’t remember if i follow or not but i know who ur talking about and they cool @winxy-writing @winxys-written-world

Character and Worlbuilding

1. My brilliant nerd daughter!!! She sometimes gets so into coding or a video game she forgets to eat or drink so the girls watch out for her. She’s prone to dissociating, especially if the situation is emotional. Her hair is really soft. she actually loves sappy romantic things but has trouble accepting them or vocalizing that she wants them because they’re impractical/illogical. she discovered romcoms when she got to alfea and they are her ultimate guilty pleasure(only flora knows abt this and is always slipping recs to her) 2. They’re weirdly one of my fav couples??? like maybe its because i relate to and have projected onto both of them lmao. but any ways. Daphne and Thoren actually met when they were kids, but didn’t spend much time together because it was at a formal event. Daphne is technically 20 years older than Thoren(only a few years older than Sky), but they’re the same physical age because Daphne spent so long as a spirit. They probably wouldn’t get married as quickly in my version, especially with Daphne’s trauma. Daphne will have nightmares sometimes and Thoren has a whole routine for comforting her and helping her feel safe and grounded. Thoren gets anxious easily, and Daphne will use her magic to subtly change the environment so he feels more comfortable. they like to watch reality tv together and yell at dramatic people. 3. omg yes. this was the most frustrating thing i was watching through winx with my dad like a month ago and every time bloom called her adoptive parents by their first names i yelled at her lol. she would call Vanessa mama and Mike daddy(if you make a kink joke i will eat your liver). She would call Marion and Oritel mom and dad. 4. Yeah kind of! part of her exhaustion in Dowlland was the fact that she had been in fairy mode for so long, hiking underground, and tossed around in a river like??? anybody would need a pick me up after that. She (and all solarians) do have to live where there’s a lot of natural light as they require a high amount of vitamin d(or the equivalent of it for solarians). short trips usually aren’t a problem, Stella is just hella unlucky in the second season lmao. @moonpeachblossom 5. the short answer as to why she’s a blond (scottish??? in one of the dubs???) in an asian inspired culture/planet is because racism (or not so short bcus its a lot to unpack honestly). the answer in my version however is a pretty simple fix. She bleaches her hair. she’s paler than musa but she aint white. 6. I haven’t really yet!! Helia is struggling with his two fairly opposed cultural influences, trying to figure what he wants and whats right for him. He was raised on Lynphea but had frequent trips to Vaonaa. Lynphea is very grounded, they’re slow and steady and stubborn. Vaonaa is much more flexible, they’re flighty and spontaneous and easily adaptable. Helia’s dads love eachother and helia very much but they are VERY different people and both want different things from Helia(they try not to pressure too much but the expectations are still there). Helia’s Vaonaaj dad wants him to pursue magic, specifically wind or air magic. Helia’s Lynphean dad wants him to become a warrior. Helia feels like he’s kind of a misfit in both Vaonaaj and Lynphean culture. It took a while, but he did finally confide his feelings in Flora and she encouraged him to talk with his dads about finding his niche. 7. oooooooh fun fun relationshipsssss Bloom and Sky: so bloom and sky aren’t the most stable couple, and in my version it would take bloom a little longer to be ok with dating a prince. Bloom is fairly insecure in her relationships because of self worth issues, and tend to run away from problems instead of dealing with them. Sky on the other hand is confident but doesn’t really know how to handle people’s feelings and tends to push confrontation. I do believe that with better writing Sky and bloom could be a dope couple but as is in canon they’re VERY problematic. Stella and Brandon: babies. they love each other so much its the best omg. Stella finds her worth in her appearance but she always seems to take brandon’s complements in a less.... arrogant way? if that makes sense? like she truly appreciates them and wants his support. i wish we knew more about Brandon but he’s legit such a good boyfriend. I think they fight mostly when Stella is being a little selfish, or when Brandon is too busy to meet her emotional needs. Flora and Helia: MORE BABIES. so Helia is more of a drama queen in the comics but we’ll ignore that for right now lol. Flora and Helia are probably the least problematic couple in the entire show. They met. Flirted a little. Confessed. and started dating with out any major problems. if i can remember correctly they don’t even really fight??? unless icy has frozen helia’s heart or something lol. I think both Helia and Flora’s love language is quality time so they’re fairly low key and just like to be in the same space and each other. Musa and Riven: boy oh boy. Ok so, ignoring the several times Riven was LITERALLY MIND CONTROLLED his character is still difficult to deal with. I think Musa and Riven are both very intense people, and while that can be super fun and develop into a good relationship, it can also lead to LOTS of problems. I think my major problem with how they broke up was that Musa didn’t support Riven’s training? like i understand being upset you can’t see ur person often, or if they’re really busy, but Riven supported Musa’s music several times in the previous seasons it just seemed weird Musa was so unfairly demanding of him? Tecna and Timmy: nerd babies. They’re super cute honestly. I think Timmy was probably the one to instigate the relationship and bonded with Tecna over technology since she wasn’t super emotionally available at first. They have issues when Tecna is unable to voice her emotions and timmy needs to know what she’s feeling mostly, but after the first few times they’ve both learned to give the other space to figure their stuff out. Aisha and Nabu: ugh perfect couple. minus the kind of sketchy beginning lol. Aisha and Nabu generally don’t fight once they get used to each other. Nabu is a focal point that aisha is kind of bungee corded to if that makes sense? like obvi not in a restricting way. its just Aisha is hella active and needs her own space to explore and grow, but Nabu is her solid ground that she relies on. Aisha and Nex: i actually don’t hate nex as much as the rest of the fandom lol. so like i said Aisha is an active, independent woman, and if Nabu was a separate, stationary, focal point for her, I think Nex is related, moving, counter point. So like Nex can actually keep up with Aisha, and push her and challenge her. Which isn’t a bad thing in relationships so long as a mutual respect is there. 8. well. canon is a little..... messy. My version of the girls definitely retain their individualism. for other differences... they’re just a little more fleshed out? i guess? like Bloom’s moody behavior in the show i think is because of her insecurity issues, so that plays a part in how i draw her and think of her. 9. ok wow this is gonna be tough well here we go Sky: I think sky is an ESTJ he’s not super emotional(inf Fe) but can lean toward controlling(dom Te). he seems to like tradition and think social promises are important(Si). Brandon: ESFJ. Brandon is the mom friend of the boys ok. He goes along with sky’s crazy plans, tries to subtly set Riven up with musa(season 1 i think?), some how managed to land a social butterfly like Stella and seems to just navigate social situations REALLY easily(dom Fe). he also seems to hate being disrespected or taken for granted(Si) stella does this occasionally. Timmy: ISFJ???? thats the vibe i get hear me out ok so in season 2 Timmy gets tecna the exact computer part she needs because 1. He knows they both like things to be practical(Si) 2. He knows and remembered the part she was talking about and filed it away in his brain(Ti) and 3. He and Tecna bonded over tech (Fe) Riven: honestly he’s a tough one.... Maybe a really stunted and angry ISFJ? (speaking from personal experience i am an ISFJ) i don’t have a real reason why but riven’s behavior is really confusing in the show so it makes typing tough..... possibly INTJ as well....... Helia: ISFP. Lmao I might be basing this entirely off of stereotypes but helia has a strong pacifist belief and can be moody(Fi, and more in the comics lol) is attuned to his surroundings(Se) seems pretty focused??(Ni) and i can’t think of his Te showing up be it is an inferior Nabu: ISTJ weirdly a good fit with Aisha(ESTP) tho?? even though he’s an Si dom, he doesn’t go along with the arranged marriage because its not what he believes(Fi) and he’s stubborn about it(Te). Roy: ENFJ honestly just a cutie. He’s personable(Fe), focused for the most part(Ni), and is comfortable in his environment(Se). Nex: ENTP? maybe?? He’s pretty impulsive and has that “work around” mentality I associate with ENTPs.... idk this one doesn’t seem to fit super well... Thoren: Maybe INFJ?? i mean thoren honestly doesn’t have a lot of screen time but he’s attentive(Ni), and tries to take care of people(Fe). most of the infj’s i know are fun but weird lol, but i think thoren has anxiety so that could play into him being less “out there” in his behavior. if any of yall have input on this feel free to let me know. 10. ooooooh good question. So I’m basing these on their parent’s name and the names of people from their planet. Bloom: Hestia or Enya, i also think she got sent to earth with an article of clothing or a blanket that had her name on it, which is why her name is the same lmao Stella: Stella is actually named pretty appropriately considering the other names we have are Luna, Radius, Nova, Chimera, and Casandra, all of those are fairly latin/roman based names. but she could also be called Clara, Aura, Venus etc. Musa: Her mom and dad have very asian sounding names but the princess of melody is named Galatea, so honestly anything is on the table. Aulos, Hee-Young, Jia Li, Kaida, etc. Tecna: lol everybody on Zenith has ridiculous names so im just loosely basing them off of sciencey stuff. Nobelia, Xenon, Titania. Aisha: I actually really like Aisha’s name! Ayize, Sizani, Mehrbano would work tho. Flora: what even is the naming system of Lynphea i don’t understand it. Im gonna make them vaguely naturey and European-ish?? Calla, Terra, Rowan, Willow, I could go on and on there are so many plant names. 11. Hmmm yeah, so basically in my world a person with TOO MUCH magic gets overwhelmed and kinda goes a little crazy(the ancestral witches) the same thing happens with tritannus when he gets the emperor's throne power. He’s loyal to icy and she to him until he looses his ability to think clearly and turns on icy, icy gets freaked out and leaves with her sisters when they swoop in to rescue her. they don’t so much “break up” as they are “broken up” by the circumstances. In general Tritannus does really like Icy, hes attracted to her ambition and powerful personality. Icy started out just manipulating Tritannus but caught feelings oops 12. Yeah so, humans in general can withstand a lot of wild magic as their body “metabolizes” it quickly. Kalshara(the cat lady you don’t know the name of) used extremely concentrated samples, combined with other spells to keep the wild magic in her body permanently. If a human with out a properly developed magic biome (a lot of earthians only have a low functioning one) get exposed to a wild magic source they would probably gain some aspects of fairy animals, probably not like, fur, or anything but eye and hair color changes, maybe some patterns on the skin. but there’s also the chance that they would just.... die..... cus that happens with animals too lmao sry. @weirdghostly

#winx #winx club #winxems #askems #theoretical-artist #moonpeachblossom #weirdghostly #anonymous #ask dump #this is so long im so sorry

38 notes · View notes

01010010-posts · 6 years

Text

— keep in touch.

requests: can i request something?? soooo, the bois have a s/o which really really craves lot of attention and cuddling but she can't speak up about it because she's shy and a tad insecure??? (totally not self-insert) you don't have to do it i'll be content either way if you post something different, i love your hc they're so heartwarming!!! love you, stay happy!!!!!

(will do the first one later) hello hello, reckless one was... succulent xD (gimme all dem ass, all dem booty) can i request some more? i saw you're not really sure about nsfw so maybe something mild? like very shameless s/o with sex jokes but not actual action, it could be a good thing to start, just a small suggestion :) and what about s/o who is uncomfortable with touching? bois want touch, s/o want touch but constantly thinks that they shouldn't and bois have to show it's okay (sorry it's 2 but I love you and am thirsty)

since i’m a fucking touchy-feely person this took longer than expected am sorry (no the truth is i really put my heart into RK900’s one bc i’m a bitch and y’all can’t stop me from loving him) is this what you wanted?? hope so!! also can someone please tell if there are some mistakes it’s 4 AM here i’m stupid.

Connor:

• a bit worried when you lean in and suddenly pull back • w-what was that • did u want a kiss? a hug?? some cuddles??? • did he do something wrong? • aaaaAAAAAAAAAA • he sees when you’re staring at him like that • but if you’re not comfortable telling him then…. • what should he do?? should he press you to talk? • he’s just happy with holding hands but • he knows humans want more than just holding hands • he starts to think that maybe the way he touches you is not what you expected • he’s still so-so about romantic human customs?? • maybe he doesn’t properly know how to kiss and you never told him bc you didn’t want to make things awkward between you two • he researches stupid wikihow articles about affection • but his stress level raises every time you avoid kissing him • and one day he kinda snaps and kisses you deeply • and then he gently asks you what’s wrong and maybe you don’t love him anymore? that’s also a possibility but he promises you that he won’t get mad or anything he just wants to know because seeing you like this make his thirium pump ache so much, it hurts. he wants to see you happy, with or without him • you’re there, blushing madly not only for the sudden kiss • but also because this whole time you were worrying about such a stupid thing and honestly?? you feel like shit now • i mean you better do bitch you made this pure boy cry • and you apologize, you tell him that no, of course you love him and him only it’s just…. very difficult for you sometimes to be comfortable with kissing and touching in general. you like his attentions, sure, you love them but let’s say you want a hug while he’s working on some files at home?? even though you know he wouldn’t tell you no or, at least, be rude about it, you’ll surely feel like a burden and you don’t want to feel that. and you don’t want to annoy him. • plus you’re shy!! • he makes the biggest sigh ever • and closes his eyes for a solid ten seconds, then opens them again and just smiles a smile so wide • he was so worried that you didn’t love him anymore?? • he simply tells you that if you want to touch him you can • however if you’re not sure you can ask!! he doesn’t mind you asking him • in fact he’s already picturing that he’ll like that • you asking for a hug or a kiss when he’s in the middle of something? absolutely adorable

RK900:

• very annoyed when you escape from his hugs • or when you avoid his loving gaze • do you think he’s not gonna notice? • he picks this stupid habit of tapping his fingers onto surfaces when you make him nervous • because that’s what you do, that’s right, you make his stress level so high • not that you particularly do something • quite the contrary in fact • why won’t you kiss him so often like you should? • he likes it if you do it often • he wants you to do it often • “you’re not performing normal human affectionate actions. why is that? should I be worried? based on my researches, at this point in a relationship an intimate routine should be well established by now. may I remind you that the act of ‘cuddling’ releases an amount of endorphins good enough to help most humans relax? for this reason may I suggest you to engage in sexual activities– ” • “what the fuck are you blabbering about” • “I was merely saying that it would be beneficial for both of us to pursue physical touch, if you would like to inquire why I can send to your e-mail some highly qualified medical links, they all point out that– ” • “I got that part. It’s– not true tho, that I’m not ‘performing affectionate actions’.” • you have the audacity to tell him this??? YOU HAVE BITCH?? • HE’S BEEN NERVOUS FOR WEEKS NOW AND YOU TELL THIS TO MY PRECIOUS ANGEL??? U DON’T DESERVE HIM • i swear to god he raises an eyebrow so high you think it’s gonna fucking reach his hairline • he licks his lips in disbelief and clicks his tongue • “we roughly kiss ten times a day, which is not an appropriate number considering that you also elude my attempts at giving you other forms of devotion. also, the fact that you’re being so evasive with the topic at hand implies an unnecessary shyness.” • by now you’re fucking red • and you feel so guilty you just want to sink into the couch and disappear • but he catches you before you can melt into the cushions • and he hugs you so tight • slowly hiding his face into your neck, softly inhaling your scent • “it’s okay to stay like this.” • and you return the hug and sigh • “I’m sorry. did I make you worry? I didn’t mean to…. it’s just that, you know, I want to touch you, I really do but– I’m shy. I’ve never felt this comfortable with anyone and I– I think I’m kinda scared to fuck things up, I guess?” • while you’re saying these things he’s already overheating bc are you serious? he didn’t thought you could be cuter than what you already are and yet you’re proving him wrong • if you could see his face? like the deep ocean • he has to raise a hand to cover his mouth bc his accumulated tension melted as soon as he touched you and these are the aftereffects • “there’s no chance for you to ‘mess things up’, like humans like to say, if you’re this cute. please do touch me more often.” • that’s it. • that’s all he has weakly managed to say • please don’t look at him or he’s going to cry • after something like one minute he takes a deep breath and kisses you • you’ve fucking broken him

RK800-60:

• it’s a little impossible for you not to be touched • i mean have you seen this little shit? • he wants he needs to touch you • all the time • like he won’t be able to function properly if you don’t give him at least two kisses every thirty minutes • in fact he doesn’t do shit at work • not that he’s going to willingly work if you’re there with him giving him kisses • he just doesn’t want to work at all okay • he just want to please you bc he cares about you not about his work • the laziest android ever assembled • i think he deviated just bc he was too lazy to work • so when sometimes you act kinda cold towards him his natural response is to be more and more affectionate • but when he notices that you’re being really elusive he gets really worried • he did something bad of this he’s sure • but what • he replays everyday in his head, searching for a clue • but he doesn’t find anything • which makes him more and more worried??? • ‘oh no [name] doesn’t love me anymore’ • his whole world comes crashing down • he get very depressed • why won’t you at least tell him?? • he figured it out already so please just release him from your grasp • but you start to notice too • how he’s not his usual self • how he doesn’t joke a lot • how he just mopes around • how he just doesn’t talk to you about his day • and you feel so bad • but you muster the courage to ask him what’s wrong • and he kinda goes silent • after a bit though he sighs and just shakes his head • “I know that you no longer love me, let’s just– just stop pretending.” • you feel so sick at the pit of your stomach, your heart shatters • “that’s not true– that’s not true at all! I love you so much, please believe me!” • “I said let’s stop pretending. you don’t have to lie to me [name]. I’m not a kid– heck I’m not even a human, what was I thinking when I tangled myself up in this mess.” • you start to sob, you cry endlessly • he’s so weak to your face full of tears • he can’t help himself and all of a sudden he’s hugging you like his life depends on it • “I’m sorry I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. please forget it. you’re not a mess, you’re beautiful and I love you so so so so so much.” he mutters into your ears “I don’t know what I was thinking oh gosh– I’m really sorry, please don’t cry. that’s the last thing I wanted please, shh, it’s all right. I’m a fool, you know that, I just– just–” he sighs “I just thought that you were a bit too cold and I mean, maybe I did something bad? tell me if I did. because I searched and searched but I didn’t find anything in my software that could pinpoint to that. so my most logical conclusion was– I’m such a stupid, am I not?” • “I’m the stupid!” • “no you’re not you’re–” • “I’m the stupid I tell you! I didn’t know how much I was hurting you I–” he’s caressing your back and you’re kinda choking on your hiccups “I thought that I was being too cuddly I– I thought I was annoying you and you were only complying.” • he takes a big breath as relief washes over him • “what– no! of course not! I love you and I love you when you ask for some cuddles and when we kiss before work and and and I just love you. every part of you. even if you asked me to hug you every minute every second I’d still love you. even if you were being really annoying and bratty.” • you’re both two fucking giant stupid just stop this shit and kiss you cowards

1K notes · View notes

thegeminisage · 5 years

Text

i’m gonna liveblog my rewatch of 2.08 because i can

it’s stupid long so here’s the cut

just to give you an idea of how fast this switch flipped for me at the start of this episode when uther is like “u will find no one who embodies nobleness better than my son arthur” i went “PFFFFFT” & had a good chortle

i have a lot to say about this duel challenge sequence. 1. why are strangers always coming in and tossing their glove on the floor. everyone in that room is armed. just take them out! 2. arthur picks up the glove first this time, unlike 1.03. guess he can learn after all 3. he does it BEFORE SEEING HER FACE god classic he’s so fucking stupid

everyone getting their panties in a twist over having to fight a WOMAN when in reality she goes on to kick his ass is like...both tiresome & hilarious

i used to really be on the fence about the Vibe between merlin & arthur because while they seemed quite happy to die for one another from the get-go most of the time arthur is just being MEAN and merlin isn’t as mean back and it’s like :/ ok i don’t get what everyone else is so heart-eyes over. but in 2.08 they do a lot of confiding in one another and just general talking about plot-stuff where arthur’s insults are...not absent, but kept to a minimum, and idk it’s nice! it’s nice. less like arthur is a massive bully and more like they’re Companions. i’m not hopeful about it lasting bc this show doesn’t know the meaning of the words “consist continuity” but it was reeeeeaally good here

arthur’s face when he lost to a G I R L and uther just walked out with no comment. even back when i still hated him i was like “ouch”

that being said it was a welcome change of pace to see merlin giving ARTHUR shit for once. finally

upon morgause and morgana’s first meeting when morgause says “i hope you will remember me fondly” i went “WOW THAT’S GAY” because i didn’t KNOW and cathy told me later she had to put her head in her hands for five whole minutes. don’t shoot me i’m just the messenger they’re the ones who wrote it that way

my favorite thing about morgause is that i couldn’t immediately figure her out. i’m in the habit of throwing out guesses about future plot points for fun, because i’m a writer and that’s how i deconstruct things, and since this show was kind of meant to be kid-friendly i’m usually right. but as far as morgause went...i didn’t have a clue. i had NO IDEA this whole ep would be like this

i’ve said this before (not on this blog tho) but arthur is like...really eager to die. i keep joking that he has a death wish but upon further reflection i don’t think he’s actively seeking to end his life as much as he would be relieved to die for something noble like honor or whatever because then he would have...done it right, if that makes any sense, and wouldn’t have to worry about screwing it up anymore. he doesn’t want to die but he craves a good death. to prove to his dad and himself that he’s made of the right stuff?? i’m not being very clear. this concept requires more thought

it’s REALLY a lot for me that uther would rather throw arthur in his own chambers than have him find out about ygraine. yyyyikes

merlin sneaking in that rope was so cute. he finally got the group’s communal braincell for a few minutes

on the other hand after the troll episodes i am SO tired of dung being played for laughs. i really suffered

also man i’m so glad morgana finally got some sleep it’s what she deserves

this Dead Parent talk really mcmurdered me. both merlin and arthur lost a parent when they were very young & they now cannot remember said parent and we HAVE THAT IN COMMON so every single word they said was like an arrow straight to my heart!!!!!!! like as good as the ending to this episode was (and OH it was good OHHHHH it was GOOD) i think this right here is what truly softened me up towards arthur. this is relatability, this is emotional vulnerability, this is a genuine human connection made between EQUALS and frankly it’s exactly what i’ve been wanting from these guys for a season and a half. their willingness to die for each other is good stuff to be sure but it’s EMPTY without some meat to back it up & we’re finally getting what we deserve

“i’d do anything for even the vaguest memory” like they didn’t have to go that hard & read me for filth like that but they did. they did. arthur. babe. my guy.

almost every time someone comes in to speak with uther he’s eating and he has like an entire mini-banquet in front of him even though he’s all by himself. like, an entire plate of grapes, a whole-ass chicken, an intact loaf of bread, a bowl FILLED with whole uncut apples...wtf??

“what would YOU know about magic, merlin?” “nothing ;)” i did have a good chortle truly

i’ve already made my points about arthur and a good death but MAN he was hasty to put his head on that chopping block for no good fucking reason at all. holy shit. him casually doing that swing-thing he does with his sword to the axe ahead of time really adds a lot to this entire thing and also aged me ten years

when arthur was like “what if my father’s attitude towards magic is wrong” and “surely not everyone who practices magic can be evil” i gasped so fucking loud. so fucking loud

and the worst part is you can practically feel merlin’s heartbeat pick up. just LOOK at his “wtf am i hearing is this for real could my dreams actually come true” face. but at the same time, he’s got to be the one with a healthy suspicion here because arthur is in over his head. so he STILL can’t trust it. and then naturally it goes to hell so quickly that the chance for merlin to confide in arthur is lost. i can’t believe this took 4 irl years and five seasons. watching this live must have been like TORTURE. i’m practically bingeing it and i’m still suffering deeply

it’s very odd to me that arthur specifically said his mother died before he opened his eyes but the first thing ygraine says to him is that she remembers him staring up at her. to me that’s an obvious clue that she’s a fake, and the cutaway during that line to merlin’s face tells me he had the same suspicion (and that he’s kind of horrified by it)

ARTHUR FEELS SO GUILTY FOR HER DYING AND I’M ALSO DYING AND SLDFKMGHLSKDFJH

i know for a fact that ygraine’s telling of these events is slightly altered from the truth too...there’s no way that uther would have been so overcome with grief that he went on to commit genocide if he knew beforehand that his wife would die and was willing to sacrifice her

on the other hand, there’s also a cutaway to morgause’s face during this speech in which she looks surprised or confused at what ygraine says, which doesn’t add up if she was pulling these strings, so...What Is The Truth

not to be like this but merlin bearing witness to this whole series of events is like...there’s some things that once you go through them with somebody things between you change and there’s a new intimacy there...i don’t expect much from a show that likes to return to the status quo but in my heart it’s how i feel

OH BOY HERE WE GO. arthur arrives in camelot and pulls his sword out as soon as he leaves his horse leaving a visibly spooked merlin behind him this is the STUFF

“arthur was born of magic” is really a hell of a line because even though i already knew this backstory i hadn’t stopped to consider it like that...no, magic is not a crucial part of arthur’s identity and how he views himself the way it is for merlin and morgana, but it’s still a part of his history and what made him who he is, that made him alive and different from other people. his hatred and fear of it becomes so much more tragic in that light. i think also there was such a clear line drown before between people who are magic and people who are not and for me, mentally, arthur kind of...swapped sides, or is at least straddling the border

merlin’s absolute FURY at uther’s hypocrisy is like...........fucking. another thing i wanted to see for a season and a half. imo there’s not nearly enough meat to the fact that merlin is magic and ultimately serves uther who is trying to decimate him and his kind - has actually SAVED UTHER'S LIFE on MULTIPLE occasions. this is the first time this show actually went “hey uther is responsible for the deaths of hundreds of people and that’s really not at all ok” and i am SO into it. like, no, he’s not misguided. he’s not “just grieving.” he’s a murderer. he’s responsible for genocide.

the final 9 minutes of this episode feature arthur pendragon being absolutely FURIOUS. he’s LIVID. he’s PISSED. and i love it more than anything else this show has done so far

i genuinely, truly believed he didn’t have this in him. never in my WILDEST DREAMS could i have imagined arthur doing this. i had written it off as the stuff of fanfics. but holy shit my man snapped

HE👏DID👏THAT👏

reasons i did not see this coming at all even a little: 1. i figured there was no way arthur would get over his anti-magic thing until near the end (i know it must come back later, but STILL) 2. i did not believe for one second he could ever seriously stand up to his father for more than a few minutes at a time 3. most of what’s making arthur so goddamn pissed is that he thinks his dad killed his mom on purpose but he’s also showing a fair amount of horror at the fact that uther hunted down and killed everyone even remotely associated with sorcery like animals. do you know what that is? does anybody else understand the enormity of this? HE IS SHOWING EMPATHY. i DID NOT believe he was capable of it.

i do feel a way about how uther started this scene from a place of cool confidence - he was handing out orders, “leave us and no one comes in,” manipulating the situation, “she was lying to you, magic users are trying to destroy us,” and finally trying to close the door on the topic and reassert control, “i am your kind and your father and you will SHOW ME SOME RESPECT” - and arthur was not only having none of it (the way his eyes narrowed as uther’s casual “she was lying”...oh boy) he TURNED THE TABLES and had uther ON THE DEFENSIVE. the number of times we’ve seen uther shut other people down and get his way because he’s king and everyone is afraid of him and this time uther was the one who afraid LITERALLY for his life. HOW’S THAT TASTE BITCH god it was SO satisfying. like, there’s one shot where arthur is walking slowly towards him after all his verbal tactics have failed to de-escalate the situation and he’s in the backround with his eyes so fucking wide and he looks TERRIFIED. i LOVE IT

“you are my son. you would not strike an unarmed man.” “i no longer consider myself your son” AND HE STRIKES HIM

HE👏

DID👏

THAT👏

when i say that i LITERALLY screamed i am not at all exaggerating or using hyperbole. cathy asked twice if i needed to pause & collect myself. i could not have paused if my life depended on it

i’m really on the fence about merlin stopping arthur. on the one hand, arthur has suffered enough and doesn’t need to suffer more by having to carry the guilt or dadmurder. under the other, uther is a monster and needs to die, and the entire world would be better off without him

like...arthur’s face when he says “you have caused so much suffering and pain”...he really finally got it. for one beautiful brilliant moment he understood

i am NOT on the fence about merlin lying to arthur. that was the wrong way to do it. arthur 6000% deserves to know the truth and that’s only gonna come back and bite them later i’m sure (unless it never comes back at all in which case i’ll be pissed)

i’m not sure that arthur would have backed off if they had told the truth and said “uther didn’t realize your mom was gonna die so really that part wasn’t his fault”...he was really mad! but he might’ve. lying was not the way to go. i’m so angry at literally everyone in that scene for allowing arthur to walk away believing he was wrong. he was so full of conviction and he was about to do a really good thing - not good for him personally, but good for the world - and everyone he trusts lied to his face in order to maintain the status quo and not have to deal with anything ugly. i HATE it. i’m team arthur now. i’m in the arthur defense squad. all those dumb liars aren’t good enough to be his friends!!!!!!

like, even his dad’s words were sooo carefully chosen to avoid lying but also avoid telling the whole truth. even in that moment when arthur was laying it all bare and they could have made some sort of progress as character and as people. we had to go BACK TO THE STATUS QUO

Once Again Arthurs Heart Is Hardened To Magic i hate it thanks

honestly look uther telling arthur that he’s a trusted ally in the fight against magic should make him feel a lot more distressed than what we got. i mean i’m sure he’s glad his cover is safe but he should realize that if uther approves he’s doing something wrong

furthermore, uther hasn’t changed a bit. he says he came to thank merlin and that merlin is a loyal servant and trusted ally, but then threatens his life before he leaves. honestly we should have just let arthur stab him

i do appreciate them making a point of mentioning that merlin was tempted to let uther die and that it would have been better for him if uther HAD died and he only did what he did to protect arthur but like...there were ways to do that that didn’t involve lying i think. this is an optimistic show most of the time. it wouldn’t have messed with my suspension of disbelief if arthur had dropped the sword knowing the real whole truth! but no, The Status Quo

i don’t know if i will still love arthur so much in the coming episodes.................we’ll see. i’m kind of nervous because i don’t know how they’re ever going to top this. i think we peaked right here and it’ll never be this good for me again

#personal #merlin blogging #this is.............literally so long sorry #no one is obligated to read it.#i doubt anyone would get to the end anyway #but i just needed to talk about all 1000000 of my feelings #tldr is im v proud of arthur and very mad at everyone else #which makes ME an annoying arthur stan now. oops!#liz's meta #liz's merlin stuff #not really but this post deserves a spot in the hall of fame #liz makes stuff

4 notes · View notes

pigstepmp3-moved · 5 years

Text

the writers really did buck dirty in s01e02

its the post you’ve all been waiting for—my Aggravated Analysis Of Everything That Makes Me Mad about the Therapy Scene tm, now featuring some things that show just how emotionally and mentally fucked buck is. now, i know we All hate that scene with all of our hearts (buck deserves to have a Good experience w therapy for once, but thats just my opinion), but i wanna go into detail about what exactly makes me SEETHE about that scene, complete w gifs and screenshots so i can better explain myself. im putting it all under the cut bc its kind of A Lot, so click that “read more” if you wanna read my angry complaining

alright, lets set the scene (i know we’re all aware of the situation behind this scene, but i think its important to remind you all of it). season one episode two. bucks still very much a Huge horn dog. buck has also very recently suffered his First loss on the job and its taking a huge toll on him. i think what’s most important to talk about before we get to the therapy scene itself is the scene where abby’s watching him on the news with carla.

(not the greatest quality, but that doesnt matter). he very clearly looks uncomfortable just talking about what happened in such a Casual, No Pressure setting. he says, “i was just doing my job. i’m happy we were able to help the people we helped and i’m really sorry about those we couldn’t save.” he stutters a few times as he says it, looks and sounds very uneasy, which seems very out of character for him. he’s usually super confident and chill, but as he’s asked to talk about this (most likely) traumatic thing, he kinda clams up, yknow? theres also something in his voice that reminds me very heavily of the way My voice sounds when Im trying to force back tears, but that might just be The Way He Talks

another thing that he says that really stands out to me (i dont know if this is necessarily important to the topic at hand, but i wanna talk about it so whatever) is, “. . . um, i’m sure they’re just turned on by the uniform. you know, i don’t know if they would feel that way if they saw me out of it.” ignoring the more sexual connotations to what he’s saying there, let’s talk about what he most likely meant by that particular statement. he still sounds a little nervous as he says it and kind of avoids the reporters eyes. it sounds to me like this is a rare moment of buck’s insecurities being let loose. “i don’t know if they would feel that way if they saw me out of it.” this implies, i think, some insecurities about like.. every part of himself. it almost seems like, in this moment, he thinks his only redeeming quality is the uniform. which might actually be what he’s thinking right then, ‘cause he’s still trying to figure out how to cope with his first loss. i think theres some part of him, somewhere behind that overly confident persona, that has a lot more insecurities than he shows, but thats a conversation for another day.

now, let’s move on a little from that. what i think is very important and notable about that scene is some of the things abby says after watching buck on the news. first thing she says that stands out to me is, “i’ve been thinking i might want to call him to see how he is.” she’s worried about him. i think she’s probably been worried about him since the first time he was on the news, earlier that episode. and for good reasons, i think, because later on, she says, “. . . he needs help, you know? i mean, he’s got so much pain in his face. everybody’s treating him like a hero. he doesn’t feel like a hero. as far as he’s concerned, the guy that he was trying to save fell.” like, wow, just tear my heart out and stomp on it a bunch, why dont you? its such a wonderful and apt summary of what buck’s going through. to put it rather simply, he’s fucking distraught, and for good reasons. plus, that quote is one of the Big things that influenced my headcanon of buck having depression, and i could probably analyze every single scene bucks in in this episode that have added onto that head canon of mind bc there are at least a couple different things i could blather on about, but that’s some analysis for another post (if you’re interested in me talking about that tho, definitely feel free to let me know)

now, let’s move on a little further to the Dreaded Scene (i’d totally go into the scene that immediately follows the last one i talked about, where buck and abby are speaking on the phone, but i think i’ve emphasized my point of buck going through some shit in this episode to the point where that isn’t strictly necessary). for the rest of this post, i’m gonna kind of analyze every single little thing that buck does and says in the therapy scene bc pretty much all of it contributes to my burning hatred of that therapist.

like, yeah, no SHIT, honey!! as far as we, the audience, are concerned, this is the First time he’s EVER been to therapy. in my own personal experiences, my first time going to therapy was SO uncomfortable. and just looking at buck right here makes me feel uncomfortable, too—he’s fidgeting with his hands, looks to the side, looks down, looks up at her for a moment before looking away again. this boy looks nervous as hell, and for good reasons. he confirms that he is in fact uncomfortable, and then the therapist says, “well, that’s not unusual. you’ve been through a trauma. that’s why you’re here—to deal with those feelings.” remember that, because i’m not gonna go into the importance of that quote just yet.

the next thing buck says is, “uh, yeah, i’m, uh, i’m not really into feelings.” he kind of avoids looking at the therapist as he says this, though not as much as he did in that last gif. but his voice is like... uncharacteristically quiet as he says it.

more!! avoidance!! he keeps averting his eyes, looking anywhere that ISNT his therapist. and at the end of what he says here, he clenches his jaw a little. a nervous tick, maybe? i don’t know. as he talks here, though, his voice is, yet again, very quiet. he sounds just about broken right here, and it makes my heart ache so bad for him

after a brief break to check out what athena and michael are talking about, his therapist says, "i treat a lot of first responders—people who run toward danger—but maybe there's something you're running from as well? what is it about discussing your feelings that scares you?" the answer buck gives her? a very defensive, “i’m not scared.” if youre not scared, then why are you avoiding talking about your damn feelings like the fucking black plague? and when i say that he says it defensively, i mean, like, way too defensive to Not be suspicious

we don’t get to hear anymore about that particular question because next, we’re checking up on athena and michael again, and then we’re talking about something else. the therapist says, "you lost somebody. that's hard."

as he says this, he sounds fucking SAD. he sounds completely and utterly BROKEN. throughout this whole clip, he sounds entirely broken. the therapist asks if this was his first time. he responds with, "i mean, i've had calls where it was... too late, but, uh, but i've only been doing this not even six months. now, i... i just can't shake the feeling that this one didn't need to go down the way that it did." again, he sounds like he’s hurting really badly. this loss is really taking a huge toll on him and that is Very clear. she then asks him if he thinks there was something he could have differently. he doesnt respond, just looks up at her like this:

his eyes are a little red, and it looks like there are some tears in his eyes. like wow, you could murder me and it would hurt less than seeing buck like this

now, the next snippet is about where everything Starts Going To Shit (this is also the part where i start sobbing like a dumb baby, but thats neither here nor there).

you see that shit right there?? if you listen hard enough, you can hear my heart breaking into a million pieces. from this point on, buck is CRYING. honest to god fucking CRYING. he looks like he’s hurting so badly, especially at the end of that gif, when he furrows his eyebrows. it looks kind of like he’s trying to keep himself from straight up Sobbing. i’m sure it seems almost like i’m dwelling on this for a little longer than necessary, but i think emphasizing how emotional he is in this part is very important to understand just how much the end of this scene makes me fucking SEETHE. this next little bit is where i start to transition from Sadness to absolute Rage

you see that? this is the start of my slow deterioration into madness. up until this point, everything about this therapy session was completely and entirely professional. but home girl decides, hey, yknow whats a good idea? waltzing my happy ass across the room, sitting down directly in front of my PATIENT, and resting my hand on said PATIENT’s arm. i dunno about you guys, but this seems terrible on so many levels that it isnt funny.

now, yknow what happens next? some classic avoidance from our boy. she calls him mr buckley, so he says, "it's, um... it's actually just buck." (after VERY AUDIBLY SNIFFLING by the way, but i digress). he then deflects even FURTHER by asking her if she friended him on facebook.

“i thought you looked familiar,” he says. he’s no longer actively crying at this point, but there are most certainly still some tears in his eyes.

now, do you know what happens next, after a brief break to check up on athena and michael? the worst thing that could happen happens! i know it, you know it, little miss unprofessional sleeps with buck! and yknow what she says Immediately afterwards? “i can’t believe i just did that. i am so sorry.” like.... no! saying “sorry” doesnt change the fact that you TOOK ADVANTAGE of someone who is CLEARLY not in the right frame of mind to consent to something like that. yknow what he was doing the last time we saw him? crying. bc hes in a very vulnerable place in this episode. and yeah, sure, i guess you could make the argument that he was seducing her a little, but that doesnt change the fact that this is fucked up. now, side note about me, i’m only in high school and i’ve never had any job before, so i dont quite know the ins and outs of the professional world. but i do know a thing or two about common sense, so its pretty easy for me to assume that shit like this is awful on like a million different levels. i think the power imbalance is super clear to anyone who has any number of brain cells.

now, buck being as emotionally stunted as he is, says that she made him feel better (probably just for a few minutes, but thats neither here nor there). and yknow what she says? “you should go.” remember that quote from earlier? the one that i said was important and that i was going to go into later? “well, that’s not unusual. you’ve been through a trauma. that’s why you’re here—to deal with those feelings.” yknow what buck Didnt do? deal with those feelings. he talked about his feelings for maybe ten minutes, and that’s assuming that, during the cuts to athena and michael, the session was continuing and that it wasnt a matter of like, oh, this stuff is happening At The Same Time.

and all that is just During the session. we dont ever see the aftermath of it, we dont ever see buck talking about that session or anything along those lines. and we most certainly dont see him trying to go talk to a different therapist. the rest of what im going to be talking about this post is purely speculation, but i think its highly probable that this could all be canon. like i just mentioned, as far as we know, buck hasnt gone to another therapist after that shit show. additionally, we can also assume that buck really hasnt talked to like....... anyone about the shit he’s gone through, both past shit and shit that was brought up from this first loss of his. so as far as we’re concerned, he’s never properly worked through it all. he’s also probably never gotten any proper coping mechanisms to deal with any further losses. it seems a little too morbid to think that bucks just gotten used to the feeling that comes with losing someone, so i think its pretty safe to assume that, after every single loss he suffers, he gets like..... super fucked up, purely because he never talked about (a), the reason why hes scared to talk about feelings, or (b), how to deal with said feelings, especially when they’re bad. and thats not fair to him!! that loss clearly took a huge toll on buck, Most of the description of that episode is talking about the roller coaster and bucks feelings, but he never got to heal from it. if buck doesnt get something akin to a redemption arc, where he gets to see a therapist to properly work through all of his issues, i’m going to riot

anyway. thats all i have to say on the matter. i’ve been working on this for most of the day because i have so many thoughts and feelings about the way buck was treated during this episode. i will die mad about it. but i think i’ve said pretty much all i have to say on the topic now, so i hope my frustrated rambling was interesting or whatever to read. so, thanks for reading! ♥

#evan buckley #buck buckley #911 fox #911 on fox #lemme know if there are any errors or anything? im not proof reading this bc im much too lazy and bc i just wanna post this shit already #kendall blabbers #(maybe i should make a tag eventually just for ranting like this. i dunno. we'll see)

24 notes · View notes

bears-n-bottoms · 5 years

Text

Hello, friends~

As many of you know, I put Kim Jongin on blast a week or two ago, because this is the second (2nd) time he's uploaded a picture of himself in dreads to his IG, and I was Sick And Tired™. I've been riding for Jongin since he was masquerading as a dom top (if you don't know, you don't know), so that shit rly hurt my feelings.

Anyway, there's no real reason for me to be bringing this up, I just wanted to assert that Jongin wearing dreads is Wrong.

Moving on…

What I *actually* wanna talk about is what has been a v hot topic in EXO's fandom for years - how badly managed/promoted EXO is.

Now, before I begin, I will not entertain the idea that SM is somehow mistreating EXO because they aren't getting as much of a promotion push than their juniors. While it does suck that SM seems to just throw EXO albums at us and expects us to be content, you will not call that mistreatment.

NCT and Red Velvet getting a bigger promotional push than EXO is not mistreatment, it's just business.

Business that I'd like to explain to y'all, because I've been thinking about recently this, and it rly does go deeper than ~EXO doesn't rly need it anymore~.

So!! The year is 2012. Unbeknownst to my Black ass, SM is gearing up for the debut of their newest boy band, codename EXO, with a ridiculous ass teaser campaign.

No seriously, 18 teasers and you haven't even unveiled a debut song yet?!?!?! Flagrant.

I wasn't with EXO since The Beginning™, but close enough; I happened upon EXO-M's version of What Is Love while looking for sumn to watch on tv, and my wig was immediately blasted to space dust. What is Love wasn't the first K-Pop MV I saw that night (it was either B.A.P's Warrior or miss A's Touch), but it was the one that stuck with me.

See, I had no idea who or what a K-Pop was outside of vaguely knowing a few idol groups friends tried to put me on previously. It was *Jasmine voice* A Whole New World~ for me, and EXO was on the fast track to becoming my very first bias group. MAMA was an overdramatic mess that I absolutely fucking loved, and you couldn't tell me their debut EP wasn't The Shit™.

A heaux still Rolls Like A Buffalo™ to Two Moons, bitch!!

Fast forward one (1) year, and EXO are back (as twelve) with their first album (and K-Pop's first million seller in over a decade) XOXO. Girl, when I tell you replayed that album like it was the one thing holding me together… I was a whole MESS!! I'd become more of a full fledged K-Pop fan in EXO's absence (more on that later), but I was overjoyed to have my boys back.

Now, why am I going over this?!!? This is all fairly common knowledge among EXO L, but many of the current generation EXO L rolled up on EXO during their EXODUS/Love Me Right era. Which was 2015. So you have a bunch of EXO L who, first of all, are part of a whole new generation of K-Pop fans who consume K-Pop very differently than those of us who were fans back in 2012.

K-Pop standom these days is very social media focused, with many of our favorite idols having SNS accounts of their own where they interact with us. K-Pop fans these days are practically spoiled with content when idols aren't promoting/on tour. It rly feels like idols never truly ~go away~, because if they did, it'd leave an opening for someone else to take their place.

Something we saw when group B.A.P filed a joint lawsuit against their management agency and disappeared for a whole year.

This is where, I think, a lot of the "EXO Isn't Promoted" foolery comes from; EXO are not heavily on social media like many of their current generation contemporaries are. They don't do v lives like them, and have very few reality shows focused on them. Coupled with the fact that much of the content we do get from EXO is behind a pay wall, I definitely understand where the frustration comes from.

But let me add another layer to this, kids. It's my belief that SM doesn't feature EXO like that, because EXO were supposed to redeem SM in the public's eye for the JYJ/Hangeng lawsuits. But they, instead, embarrassed the absolute shit out of them.

Ooh, I bet y'all are all sat at attention now.

Level with me here, folks - EXO was SM's first debut since the Hangeng/JYJ cases blew up and rained doo doo flakes upon SM's reputation. SM had just renegotiated contracts with all their debuted acts to show that they aren't the monsters that JYJ and Hangeng were making them out to be. EXO was supposed to be SM's redemption arc, but there was one little problem - a 6ft stunner by the name of Kris Wu.

Fun fact - Suho, Jongin, and Kris were my original biases in EXO. Bet no one saw that coming.

Kris was always an oddball in EXO. Sure, he definitely fit the look of a K-Pop idol, but man's had far bigger aspirations. Ones that routinely got him in trouble with management. Remember that year long hiatus EXO took after their debut?!?! Rumor has it that it was caused by SM exiling Kris back to Canada, because of tensions between him and one of EXO's managers.

EXO returning as twelve was also, allegedly, because SM wanted to keep tabs on Kris, while also trying to bolster EXO K's popularity in Korea. Allegedly, tho.

Kris saw being in EXO as a way to jumpstart a career as a Chinese entertainer, but he ultimately decided that it wasn't worth it in the end. In May of 2014, he filed suit against SM to have his contract with the agency terminated.

Once again - why am I bringing this up?!! This is all common knowledge in EXO L circles. Well, it was extraordinarily shocking at the time.

As I've stated previously, EXO was SM's first boy band since the JYJ/Hangeng lawsuits. They had just finished renegotiating contracts with all of their active idols to comply with new rules and standards set in place by the government. For all intents and purposes, SM should have had no problems, like the Tinashe song.

But they did.

Kris, in many of the infamous press releases he released in reply to what SM was saying to the media, painted a very familiar story to many of us. He alleged that SM greatly limited his creative freedom, and treated him like a manufactured product. I remember him saying he felt like a box, at one point, and that hit me hard. He also alleged that SM worked him so hard that he developed myocarditis (a heart condition), and that there was rampant favoritism (claims that would also be backed up by a lawsuit launched by Luhan).

It was not a good look for SM, fam.

As a result of Kris' suit, the fandom was split. You had one camp that supported Kris, and another that supported SM/EXO. It didn't help that many of the EXO members spoke out against Kris, with Suho (the leader) saying he was being irresponsible and he needs to come back so they can work this out.

Messy™

Later that year, Luhan went onto launch his own suit against SM (which was more supported by the fandom *is totally not bitter anymore*), citing almost exactly the same complaints as Kris while also going so far as to allege that the Chinese members had different contracts than the Korean ones.

And if you thought that was bad enough, seemingly RoD member Tao decides he's done with the bullshit too, and files his own lawsuit against SM. DURING EXO'S CALL ME BABY COMEBACK PROMOTIONS!!

TALK ABOUT MESSINESS, SIS!!

Say what you want about Tao, but he rly does know how to cause a scene, and I admire that.

So yeah… Talk about a public relations nightmare.

Korean netizens were firmly on SM's side during this entire trial, but Kris, Luhan, and Tao managed to deal an even greater blow to SM's rep than JYJ/Hangeng did. Not that I think it's right, but it's plenty clear why SM doesn't rly feature EXO much anymore.

Not only are they getting older (Xiumin just enlisted a month ago), but SM is clearly trying to move past EXO, as a group. Which idk how they're gonna do that when they routinely refuse members who are not Baekhyun or Jongdae solo opportunities, but whatever. With NCT taking off (pun intended) everywhere except Korea, it's going to be quite a while before the EXO name gets retired.

4 notes · View notes

ts-autumns-world · 3 years

Text

Episode 1: “Autumn you are a crazy fucked up host” - Giraffez

AHHHHHHH AUTUMNS WORLD HI!!!!!! THIS CAST IS AMAZING IM SO EXCITED AND SCARED!!! JINX YES!! AND 4 KILI PEOPLE INCLUDING LILY?? cant wait !!!

Omg! first day and im placed on the Eener tribe <3 love the way it sounds like an alarm so much ! xo love the tribe divisions and love my tribe mates! super excited to get to know them more, and reconnect with others :)

https://youtu.be/9P1GrFrTHnQ

---

it’s the way i keep putting my birthday as the date...as if this is a doctors office and not autumns world...I DONT NEED NO DOCTOR THO I AM CURED IN AUTUMNS WORLD ‼️‼️‼️ anyways manifesting a jinx win 🕯 hi my name is jinx and i am the winner of tumblr survivor 103: autumns world. i keep telling myself that. it’s okay to be hungry for the win like i am this time. i can’t let it blind me but it’s okay! it’s okay to say i’m gonna win! if i fail, it’s not smth i haven’t done before. but. im taking a page from autumns book and speaking it into existence. my name is jinx clementine and i WILL BE the winner of tumblr survivor 103: autumns world. *uptown funk vc* don’t believe me just WATCH ‼️

It feels absolutely insane to be back. I feel like I’m a bit oversaturated tbh

I can’t believe this cast. Packed with icons. So many people from Kilimanjaro?? I’m just like??? I’m just so excited to play and hope that our team does great. I just don’t want to lose cause I really don’t want to vote any of these other people out!

when i’m the annoying overactive player... i keep putting my birthday as the month/day/year 😭 so watch out for that. anyways, important announcement: the only song i ever listen to is potential breakup song by aly & aj. i never listen to anything else. if i feel like listening to music that’s what i listen to. it’s been on repeat since 2007. my itunes consists of 1 song, potential breakup song by aly & aj, and the play count is somewhere around 50,000 plays. if you ever see me listening to music, don’t even ask what song i’m listening to, because you know it’s potential breakup song by aly & aj, so why would you even ask

I don't give one fucks, two fucks, red fucks, or blue fucks, I'm gonna put all my effort and energy into this season. I have a point to prove, not to just myself, but to every person who has doubted me in any way. The biggest concern I have is meta gaming, alot of it but its going to be okay. Chris and Jinx? Vibing. Mikki and Captain? that group chat was made 5 minutes into the game. Monty and Lily C are gonna be vibing since they're winners. Lily O and I played fr*nce, but that's... no good. I'm going to just let go and have a great time. This is Autumn's World, and sometimes, we all need to just relax and let nature take its course

Autumn you are a crazy fucked up host....... Legit i was like oh come in have some fun then BOOM FUCKING MESOPOTAMIA FLASH BACK OUT THE GATE so sevice to say I'm nervous as hell about this challenge i so don't want to get voted out first .....or on the same challenge as before so even if we do have to go to tribal hopefully the winning tribe will take pitty on me and you know give me safety

feeling delusional for writing what i wrote about winning 😭🌚 LIKE DKKDKDKDKDKDDKDKKD IM TRYING TO BE MY BEST POSSIBLE SELF AND APPARENTLY THAT FACILITATES DELUSION GOOD NIGHT

https://youtu.be/FJM9fQW7evY

---

autumn not letting me in the game at first bc i’m mixed. i can hear my ancestors screaming

Yknow I’m not exactly thrilled that the song decision was made without everyone being present but like my stupid night shifts make it completely understandable at the same time. On that topic, though. Party in the USA for our music video, hmm. Not even bleach is that basic.

good morning it’s day 2 in autumn’s world and i don’t feel any better about the whites. ps. daily i love monty

https://youtu.be/DAXdEjZW1mc

https://photos.app.goo.gl/mQ3vUbaX1nEnsp2Z9

My tribe has a varying amount of timezones which makes it harder to connect with them socially as I cannot PM them as much as I would like to. Additionally, I am finding it difficult to message them because I have to work from 8 to 5 everyday of the week. This sucks because I know I can at least make people like me in the per-merge enough to keep me. However, I can no longer reliably use this strategy. I just have to hope others are way more inactive than me and that my tribe somehow wins immunity. On that note, I am really liking that Mikki and Benj took a leadership role in the tribe. So, they are definitely people I want to keep on this tribe. It would have to be Blake or Khalid that gets the target from me. We'll see how talking to them goes before results.

I LOVE THIS GAME!!!!!!! Ok so starting with my tribe:

Mikki - ABSOLUTELY THE FAV!!! We got along right away on day 1 and are def the closest in timezones which is so great to have someone like that. Sooo fun and easy to talk to really wanna be #1 allies. I know shes amazing at orgs and won and probs is getting along well with everyone but who cares i wanna play w her!!!! The main thing is too have fun and i just know it will be with Mikki

Captain - Also amazing!!! Super active in helping with the challenge and great personally love that hes gonna do english teaching which is smth i was looking into and also in a closer time zone to me and had fun discussing stuff w him so far!!

Blake - We played Kili together!! Shoutout Autumn for getting 4 Kilis back omg. I was on a tribe with Blake and Autumn together for like 2 rounds and we did vote together once so have some positive history at least hes a bit more quiet compared to the others but hes cool and i think we could do good!

Raffy - Iconic parts in the video challenge and also fun so far!! Havent talked as much as the above 3 but still feeling good about him!

Khalid - Seems nice and friendly but we havent messaged yet and no clue if he will do his lines in the music video :O we'll see But overall love my tribe and the overall cast. LILY THE KILI WINNER QUEEN???????? Cant believe shes back would be so awesome to play w her again since last time we were mainly on opposite sides. JINX MY ONE MONTE FRIEND??? YES!! SO excited i hope we get to tribe swap together since in Monte we werent that close and i voted them off i know such a disgrace but since then we have become more friends so would love to play together!! Also played w Chips in Kili and were sort of friends! Chris we are hosting a season together but i think itll be cancelled tbh no ones applying and we dont know each other at all outside of that but i loved his intro and just started getting into agatha christie literally ordered 2 of her books a few weeks ago sdhksa cant believe he mentioned her in his intro so super excited to properly meet him. Joey we are sorta friends but i voted him out recently in other game so dunno how he feels abt me!! Everyone else i dont really know but will meet some soon surely WOOO AUTUMNS WORLD

SO THE GAME JUST STARTED so there's not really that much to spill right now but I do really enjoy my tribe. I have my bestie captain who I will protect as much as I possibly can. and I've spent all day yesterday and today talking to benj who I LOVE so so so much. I feel so good with him. SO UM ASAHJSHSJAJHASHJAS IM ON THE SAME TRIBE AS RAFFY WHO UM ASHJSAHASHJ I played with once before where I was super chaotic and I literally fought him (playfully) and it was so messy and chaotic and stupid BUT I DIDN'T RECOGNISE HIM AND HE DIDN'T REMEMBER ME SO WE JSUT WERE LIKE "nice to meet you" and I didn't realise until later and idk if he knows yet and I am not bringing it up COS LIKE IDK I DON'T WANT IT TO GET WEIRD AND MAYBE HE DOESN'T REMEMBER BUT MAYBE HE DOES IDK but besides that I love him a lot he's so fun and his videos for our music video are AMAZING he's so full of life. Khalid hasn't been on much but I really enjoy his energy when he is. he's so cool and lovely. Blake is nice!!!!! but I can't help but feel my instincts being like WATCH HIM. like something inside me is saying beware of this white man.LIKE IDK WHAT IT IS but I just get instincts in games with people sometimes where I just feel like unsettled??? and that's how I feel right now. we're all in different timezones so socialising is the opposite of overwhelming. I've never had a game so quiet in the beginning like this before. but I've never played survivor either. I think I might be okay??? if we went to tribal but I really don't want us to go to tribal pls....

JINX IS OVER ON THE TUA TRIBE BTW and I'm sitting here with grabby hands. I wanna play with them so bad and just get to have our redemption arc because we didn't play on the same side the first time we played so LET ME HAVE THIS I just wanna play with them and have fun with them but they are so far away :((((

I'm so excited overall tho the whole cast looks amazing and I'm having fun so far. this challenge has been a blast and. a great way to bond with everyone. I feel so close to benj already. I really love him a lot. so I'm having a good time yes ashjshajjahs YAY

oh and I also did my tarot and idk where things are going to go exactly but I'm very :eyes: raffy got the tower and Khalid got the devil....hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

also I wanna play with women at some point PLS PLS I haven't been this surrounded by men since I was a closeted 15 year old surrounded by posters of Robert Pattinson and Taylor lautner

Benj just submitted his version of the music video and it is..... bad. I don't know why Mikki filmed vertically? Like, I feel like that's the first rule of music videos? You have to always film horizontally. Also, some of these people's energies were not giving at all. The beginning waking up part was cute though. It's just.... these people aren't giving what they think they're giving is all I'm saying. And Benj put this weird filter on all my videos that makes it hard to see what's actually going on tbh. Anyways, time to kick the socializing into high gear so as to not get voted out! Or pray that Mikki's version of the video is better

hello autumn's world.. this is captain's speaking. sorry i'm one day late to this confessional booth stuff but i'm here and i'm ready to give u some tea. *ahem* thanks jarod for these questions.

1. How do you feel about your starting team? Anyone you are happy/upset to see? OOOOH i feel like my team is very CUTE! like i didn't think autumn was gonna put me and mikki in the same tribe lmao .. i thought it was gonna be divided from ur race and u know mikki is white and i'm not. ANYWAYS, im happy to see mikki in my team of course. thats my ride or die and i know i'm gonna have someone i can 100% trust no matter what for sure. but blake knows for sure that mikki and i are very close so thats gonna be interesting. which leads to the next part, i'm kinda eh with blake in my tribe thats only because our previous experience in CoW so i just hope that its gonna be better here this time *prays*.. for others, i don't know them before so i'm excited to get to know them!!!

2. Who are you most excited to play with on the cast? Most afraid of? oh of course mikki for sure and another person is geekoffilm cause u know we're like besties besties and i love both of them so much. most afraid of... probably monty tbh. they tried to gun for me/mikki(/cora) in jarod's mini so i think they know that mikki and i are gonna be tight so i'm just gonna have to keep an eyes on them cause they are a great player.

3. What are your first impressions of everyone based on this first challenge? OH GOD. i love benj!! benj is very organized so we started off pretty well. i threw out lush life randomly and then we decided to go with lush life, how cute!!! but yea, benj and mikki have done lots of works and i love THEM. RAFFY ALSO DID AMAZING in his parts!!! like he has PROPS and his camp is sooooo summery and AHH he's so great. blake.. ahem if blake didn't look at his lyrics at the first part, it would've been a bit better. and idk about khalid. i'm very worried cause khalid hasn't sent any of his parts yet. and like he seems inactive??? so idk but i don't wanna lose the points for full team participation :oooooh: I DIDNT JUST SHOW ANYONE I CANT DANCE TO LOSE AND I DIDNT HAVE TO DANCE AND MAKE MY LEGS ACHE JUST TO LOSE!!! SOBS!! but that is a sign that tells me i should exercise more x ANYWAYS!!!! its just interesting point to add x

4. What is your strategy going into the first portion of the game? trying to lay low and build some connections with ppl from my tribe. benj and raffy for sure. i rlly like their vibes so i need to stick with them. and just try not to lose challenges cause its gonna be suck voting one of them out. also, if we somehow win, i want to send someone who i can trust moving forward to exiled island.. but we'll see. its gonna be a lot of thinking and convincing people.

5. How do you want other people in the game to view you in the early stages of the game? as someone who they can trust and talk to and someone who always puts effort into challenges cause thats what most important in the first stage of the game.. i'll come back here after results x

HELLO AUTUMNS WORLD IM PISSED! not about raffy getting sent to the outback. its what raffy deserved. i like raffy so thats fine i just need to work on my relationship with him after he comes back. BUT KHALID. GOD. he just doesnt care about the challenge AT ALL. he was inactive. he didnt even talk about the challenge. and then coming to the chat and telling us SORRY after we have submitted… god thats BS. we literally all put our effort into this. and for someone who just dont care about the pandemic (idk about the uk but i guess they allow partying now) and go out and party. GOD i mean he’s going back to bahrain anyways WELL GUESS WHAT, HERE IS ANOTHER PLANE TICKET HOME. take that and sashay away babe

---

cause thats just FUCKED UP. everyone put their efforts in. benj — his leg is HURTING he cant move much btut he still did his parts and helped us with the editing. RAFFY — he literally worked 8 to 5 but he still found time to just shoot his parts and like more random parts. blake — well even though he didnt study the song much, he still did it and he is a team player. MIKKI — well u know i love mikki and ik how much shes in her head for this challenge but every scene she is on, i smile watching her because she just did it SO WELL PLUS she stayed up late for khalid and her health is not good. fucked up khalid u done fucked up enough. hope u enjoyed ur short time at autumns world.

First challenge, done, middle of the road WOOOOOOOOOOOOO, absolutely love that my music video streak has been continuing! Coming into this game, I felt absolutely nervous as hell about playing with 2 winners on my team, but in all honesty, I’m gonna take the Jinx approach- Embrace it, you don’t get another opportunity like this. I love the fact that I’m being more engaged than before and that’s what I want to be, especially in confessionals. I’m always trying to be better, and how can I better myself I HATE THE WAY MARV ALBERT PRONOUNCES PARENTHESES, YOU DON’T SAY IT LIKE “THE C’s”? JESUS MARV ITS GONNA BE YOUR LAST GAME YOU CALL IN YOUR CAREER COME ON MAN.

---

I hate to be called Joestradamus, but when Captain or Mikki get voted out first because of how tight knit they are, don’t @ me

*slides into splits* WE WON YES YES YES YES WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO YEAH

re khalid missing the challenge: no everyone in our team worked rlly hard on that except khalid who went out fucking partying then he lied about going to send the vid soon cause you know what if he already filmed his parts, looking for a vid and click send are not that hard he fucking told us he was about to send ASAP and then disappeared and then had the NERVE to tell us AFTER THE DEADLINE that he's so SORRY OH PLS

This tribe name is Autumn's last name backwards! https://thumbs.gfycat.com/VigorousBiodegradableIrishterrier-size_restricted.gif

Now that that is out of the way, let me list my tribemates... Giraffez Joey Lily C Lily O Monty. Something is incredibly amusing about how there is a tribe with someone named Chips and someone named Giraffez. What is not amusing is that I get a "I don't like/want to speak to/etc." vibe from Giraffez? I could just be a delicate and annoying flower but our conversations have been short and dry. Joey has some great high energy and excitement and I love that he loves being part of this game. He is also pretty fun to talk to. Hoping that we can keep an open dialogue and that perhaps I can rope him into a future alliance of sorts. Lily C is a sweetheart truly and I adore her personality so much. She is such a go-getter and goes to bat for those with who she feels can be loyal. I'm hoping that we can build loyalty and trust together. Lily O has been busy with work at a bowling alley. That's actually really cool because when I was a child that was my dream job. Not even joking... my parents were in leagues when I was growing up and my brother and I entered ones designed for children. It was a big thing in my family and I thought that I would love to be in that "atmosphere" all the time. Anyway, we haven't spoken until after the results were announced so honestly if I had to guess I was their intended target if we had had tribal council and they were mine?? (perhaps...) It has been really nice getting to connect with Monty and really cool finding out that they are beginning job searching after college and thinking of pursuing education as a career. I have a soft spot in my heart for all educators.

Okay so I'm just going to say this now. Autumn needs to simplify the twists to more like Blue's Clues with an OBVIOUS large blue paw prints where I'm supposed to look. I have no idea what that announcement was about war rooming someone into the game and feel like I"m fifty million steps behind these big-brained people who figured it out. https://media2.giphy.com/media/m59avtxDzXeiQ/200.gif

I think that I missed the message about what we do with tickets or I'm still just as clueless as previously stated but I am intrigued nonetheless. I think even if I knew what to do with them I would just hoard them like I would Chuck E. Cheese tickets in case something else came along. Hope they're not like Fire Tokens and let you buy like Peanut Butter and Idols because I am anti- fire token. https://media.tenor.com/images/d7de1f75f2c43f8e044e958b964430fa/tenor.gif

On a side note, I'm paranoid when I see people on calls because even if they're not talking about me or plotting they are potentially aligning with each other and that does not include me. I don't really know much about how calls work on Discord as I am a pretty big noob generally speaking with the platform but it did say that Joey and Giraffez were on a call earlier?? I'm stressed. https://media0.giphy.com/media/3o7TKRwpns23QMNNiE/200.gif --- http://www.purplerockpodcast.com/wp-content/uploads/survivor-pearlislands-lillian-morris-post-savage-blindside.gif

https://voca.ro/1lb9WKsDr6xA

Ok.....so after talking to Joey a little ive learned a few things mikki is a bit of a beast Benj is well......social to and everyone despised Mesopotamia........which i get from the stuff that pumped me up to 16th place that season but I'm mostly hoping that i can make it to the end this time....... So far I've talked to pretty much everyone Lilly and Joey and monty not sure which one really but the one whose discord is 13survivirgirl13 so hopefully soon i can work out some kind of an alliance with them and if we swap or merge from three to two either next week or the week after (probably the week after honestly) i feel i can maybe set us up as one and us four can really rule the roost for a moment....hopefully.....who knows i could just he a delusional old queen whose doomed to be nothing more then premerge every time i play tumblr survivor......or maybe I'm just crazy *shrugs* either way it should be a damn good hoot

we won the first challenge, god bless. which brings up something funky i realized: that the best part about winning immunity is having the day off. and also…idk something just doesn’t sit right…the way autumn was emphasizing that someone would be eliminated from the game…like….hm……….idk….never trust a bitch named after a season!

omg we lost AHHHH but thankfully we have an easy boot sorry khalid im glad i dont have to vote mikki captain or blake eeek pls lets win the next one

I'm totally pumped for this game! Like when I saw my tribe and Jinx is on it I screamed! I want us to have the same success of being together at ftc!! Jude honestly is great to me and I'm enjoying getting to know her a lot, Ricky I remember from HvV4 but we both say no to that and start anew! Bryan I am hopeful to talk more since its been dry and that is okay. Sucks we ended losing Michelle early but I am sure it was for the best! We WILL reign successful

---

Yesterday was so stressful to me like editing I have no problem with but I thought my biggest worry was that I needed Bryan to submit stuff late-ish. But turns out an hour before due time thd program wanted to stop working 🙃🥲 and I felt so close to wanting to forfeit- which is something I never do but I just felt hopeless and guilty and even imagined getting voted out. So I had to call Jinx who assured me something could be salvaged and they'd make sure I would stay (rip Bryan) but after the extension by cool hosts I found encouragement and did my magic stuff. SOMEHOW we won and to be honest I dont think anything will top that feeling of relief in the org (give me 3 days) but man what a ride yesterday was for me!

I got a Super Idol! Well, at least I now know that I can fuck around in this game a little bit more since I have this extra insurance in my back pocket which guarantees I stay around in the long run. I want to start getting into alliances because being a solo person with not much time on their hands is definitely a scary position to be in. Preferably, I want an alliance with Nikki and Benj (though I suspect that they already have an alliance with at least one other person on the tribe). It does suck that I am not at tribal considering that it will help build my bonds even stronger. I guess I just have to suffer for the time being

i think this is gonna be an easy vote cause khalid needs to go. but idk you can never feel safe in survivor :/ but so far everyone has been telling me they're voting khalid so lets pray

Omg that immunity was so hard, I literally did not know what I was doing and I think out of everyone I was a bit lackluster. I will say on the tribe I have not really talked to all of them but I will say I trust Jinx the most and we have talked a lot and I think that moving forward we will have each others back. All I need to do is talk to the rest of the tribe and form bonds that will last me to a swap or merge.

https://youtu.be/kKOciJGjrzw

https://youtu.be/mx7WPjx8zCk

---

khalid babe this ones for you 🥺 https://youtu.be/QX2boYNUbxw

#tsaw #episodes

0 notes

mercurialsmile · 6 years

Note

Any tips on writing nonbinary characters? Like, any 'do's and 'don't's? I really wanna get it right, so I thought I'd ask someone who actually identifies as nonbinary :)

Any tips on writing nonbinary/trans characters?

I got two asks for this (maybe from the same person?) and it’s taken me some time to write an answer since this is such a broad... question.

Thing is, nonbinary is both a gender in and of itself but also kinda an umbrella term? Since you also have people who are agender, bigender, genderfluid, etc. who would also technically fall under the umbrella, but don’t call themselves nonbinary since that’s not the label they want, and since the latter labels are a lot more... specific.

Non-binary simply means that someone identifies as a gender outside the binary of man and woman and that’s it.

There’s also the fact that I’m pretty sure I have some opinions other nonbinary people wouldn’t agree with (for example, I dislike neopronouns. Xir/Xe and Zie/Zir are the only ones that’s pronounceable to me. And I straight up dislike nounself pronouns and actively avoid people who only use nounself pronouns since to me, they are. Too hard and complicated to use. I remember reading a really good post on why nounself pronouns are linguistically incorrect in English and how to properly format them to be correct, but I dunno where that post is now) which is also why I have been hesitant about this.

Also it’s a complex... hmm thing. So yeah.

I think the first thing to ALWAYS remember when writing a minority character is that their status as a minority is not their only trait. Don’t use cliches. Don’t make them one-dimensional and make an enby’s entire personality revolving around the fact they’re enby. It’s othering, at least to me, and just plain bad writing.

Another thing is, even tho I wish there were more books out there about being enby (are there any really out there at all?) for the most part I think cis authors should be careful and kinda tread around writing about an enby’s life and being enby. Unless you have done a shit ton of research, know exactly what you’re doing, and have talked to multiple different enbys (and not just over text either), I would merely have the character. Be there.

1) it’s a lot easier who wants to do all that research??

2) still counts as rep (as long as it’s positive)

So how do you write (possibly?) positive rep for a enby character? Let’s go back to pronouns. The most versatile and acceptable pronouns for enby people is they/them tbh. It’s completely gender-neutral. There are enby people who use gendered pronouns as well (She/her, he/him, maybe they use all three!) but writing-wise, it would be easiest to keep to one set of pronouns to make the writing easier to read. I dunno about anyone else, but I for sure would get tripped up and confused if a character’s pronouns change throughout a book. (Maybe it can be written well idk but I don’t think I’d like it personally sorry) so for the most part? I suggest just sticking with they/them. It’s the easiest to write.

Also, I suggest to never call your enby characters “it”. Yes, some irl enbys like “it” as a pronoun, but to most it’s dehumanizing, so it’s best to avoid it I think.

Interestingly enough, even tho they/them is the easiest to write with, it can also be a little tricky at times! Sometimes you’ll have to format sentences differently so readers can understand the difference between the singular and plural forms of they/them. Personally, it’s a fun writing exercise to me! So if anything, writing about an enby character can actually help stretch some different writing muscles so to speak.

And speaking of pronouns, never ever have the narration misgender the character. Never. Hell, usually, I don’t even have characters or even the VILLAINS of my books misgender characters. And my reasoning behind this is: I dislike using transphobia/enbyphobia as a tool to show a villain is evil--their actions alone in the novel should be enough. And two: if even the evilest of villains aren’t transphobic... that says a lot to me. It speaks VOLUMES and is a lot more powerful of an (unsaid) statement then having your villains be transphobes. (but that’s just my opinion ofc!!)

Now, to me, if you’re just writing about a enby side character, I would just have them. Be there. Not misgendered, everyone regarding them using the proper pronouns, and avoiding gendered language (which can be hard as it is hardwired into us without us even knowing, for instance!) so make sure you edit accordingly.

Also, and I think this should be OBVIOUS by now, but PLEASE do not write a “forced coming out” scene. Like, where the cis character walks in on an enby character changing clothes or whatever. Like. That is. So over with and done. Ik that terrible trope fits trans men/women characters better, but I think it’s still important to say here, esp if you’re writing an enby character who tries to pass as the opposite of their birth gender or binds/stuffs/packs/etc at all. It’s uncomfortable, possibly triggering, and honestly? Super cliche. It’s bad writing, my friend.

And whether or not you want to make the direct statement that they are an enby is kinda up to you? There’s arguments for and against it. If you can fit it into the story safely without making anything clunky, go for it! You can either have the character themselves tell someone how they identify, or maybe they’re being introduced and they ask the person they are introducing themselves to to use “they/them” since they are an enby. I’m sure there are other, more creative ways to do this, but yeah. This specific topic is super situational so I would have a sensitivity reader (or two!) to read over what you write to make sure it’s okay.

Okay the last thing I’m gonna talk about is character description. Ignoring the fact I personally am terrible at it, there’s a kinda huge divide here.

For one, a lot of authors and I think enby people in general don’t want others to know their birth gender, which is understandable. And with writing, there isn’t any visual clues besides what you write down. The world is your oyster, you can have your character look like anything, the reader won’t know the birth gender unless you use gendered language.

The tricky thing is this, tho: the stereotypical enby person/character is someone who is skinny white and vaguely masculine. I, personally, despise this stereotype with my whole being. Imo, enby people can dress and look however they want. Clothes are just fabrics we put onto our flesh bodies. If girls can enjoy pants and boys can like dresses and skirts, then enbys can dress however they want to as well. That’s a freedom I think everyone should have. Clothes don’t dictate gender. Enby people also can’t control what they look like. Some people.. just won’t ever be able to pass as androgynous (unless they Really Work at it, like me!!) and it’s unfair to them I think as well.

That being said, writing an enby with feminine clothing, for example, will probably have your reader think of them as DFAB, unfortunately, unless you are really careful.

Other things that can make your reader think of an enby’s birth gender: describing them having to wear a bra or having a period, describing if they have to shave their face or not or how much facial hair they grow, describing their genitalia AT ALL, describing them with certain face/body shapes, describing their hair length (possibly), if they wear a binder or stuff a bra or pack, describing if they wear makeup and the list can go on.

Some people would think you should avoid this completely, which is why vaguely masculine is what people go for. it’s the typical androgynous look (which isn’t bad pe se and I don’t wanna insult anyone who looks like that!) but imo what would be more normalizing and important is to have enby characters look how they want, choose if they wanna wear a binder or not, if they wear makeup, and etc.

Some people might thing the above is completely fine and that it’s important to show anyone can be enby and you’re still valid as an enby even if you might not “pass” for instance or don’t try your best to conceal certain secondary sex characteristics. Others might think you should make your enby characters as androgynous as possible, even in the stereotypical way.

Which view is right? Dammed if I know, and I don’t think one is or not. But it is something to think about. I think the stereotypical response to a cis author would be to go with the safest option and allow enby authors write about enby characters breaking gender roles, but honestly, it is your character. Whether you make your enby character vaguely masculine to avoid those pitfalls or go balls to the walls and do whatever you want because enbys can dress and look how they want fuck you all is up to you. Do what you think your character would do and design them to match their personality. I don’t think people should be boxed into what sort of characters they are allowed to make.

And don’t be afraid to make mistakes. It’s okay if you fuck something up by accident or are accidentally insensitive. And honestly? Groups of people aren’t a hivemind. No matter how good your representation is, there will be someone who disagrees with you and thinks you didn’t “write it correctly”

all I can say is: learn as much as you can, always strive to keep learning and listening, and do the best you can. You can’t succeed if you don’t try and you can’t learn without making a few mistakes along the way.

(And as for trans characters... I myself am not a trans man/woman so idk how to best say what not to do, but I think it follows the same as above for the most part? I’d ask the opinion of a trans man or woman first rather than an enby like me, as even I have fucked up writing about my trans woman character in the past. I’ve learned a lot since then, but I think I am still learning and would rather not educate someone on a topic such as that. Also this post is already long and I am Tired of writing about this topic lol)

I rambled a lot as usual and I am so so sorry. It’s late and this was SUCH a broad question I didn’t?? Really know how to answer so YEAH SORRY if this is no help at all!! I tried my best!!

#shutuplanx #writing #writing advice #nonbinary #enby #my writing advice #man i hope i dont get anyone nasty on this post LMFAO #if i do ill just ignore n block them i guess #Anonymous #lbanswers

3 notes · View notes

weheartjik00k · 6 years

Text

JIKOOK RANT part 2:

Another suspicious tweet.It’s a post, before the previous ones I mentioned. On 04.05.2016 Jimin posted a pic of the group and counted the days until their concert.The caption said, “I wanna see you soon~”.So it must have been for ARMYs.But on the same day, JK posted a video of himself in the car, making a heart sign with his fingers.So yeah.It could have been for the fandom of course.This is not a really big deal.However, I consider it so, because of what happened on the same day after their posts.

MY OPINION(also based on other jikookers)

Timeline and development of their relationship.Or what I think.

We’ve seen the dynamic between Jikook ever since their debut.The chaser and runner phase.Jimin was seeking his dongsaeng’s attention for a long time and joked a lot about liking him, and them being a couple or trying to steal a kiss, again just as a joke.But suddenly in 2015, this stopped.We saw how the tables have turned in their relationship.Now Jungkook was more touchy and Jimin was more passive with his actions towards the maknae.

Many jikookers speculate that they started being official(or confesses, or started dating—whatever) in the RUN era.I also think so.

To me, the way they started to act around each other was more intense,the tension was bigger around them, like they shared a secret.Of course, we will never know when they happened(if they did for real in the first place, in which I believe with every cell of my body).

In 2016 they started being more obvious.For me, that was the year with lots of things that have happened between them(all of the moments I mentioned in the previous rant were from 2016).

Also, 2017 has been the GAY year not just for Jikook, but BTS.They’ve always supported the lgbt community which makes me respect them a lot.(and many other things about them, but I will talk about this in another post). 2017, especially the end of it was the crucial point.

How MORE OBVIOUS do they have to get to make people start noticing their love for each other(and I am not talking about brother-like love).

I think it makes Jikook really special that they changed, they kind of went through a metamorphosis.That’s why it feels like their bond is so much stronger.

Simply how I see their whole timeline:

Afraid of having crushes, even super small, on each other, they thought it’s just a phase.A weird one, tho.But the more the grew to know each other, the more they matured they noticed that there is something special they feel about each other.JM doesn’t see JK as the cute, younger ‘brother’ anymore.His affection is not excused with the resemblance Jungkook and his real brother had for him.He is not just protective and supportive hyung.He realized he wants to be much more to Jungkook.Joking about having feelings for him was a mistake because it made him think that Jungkook doesn’t like this(gay couples or Jimin as more than a friend). At the same time, Jungkook is confused with his own mind.He had dated before.Girls!He never felt what real love is like, tho(he said this in their debut years in the AHL interviews).So this boy, still not grown up, was afraid if he ruins his relationship with Jimin.-a hyung he appreciates way too much but never shows.So, to hide his feelings, he puts on a mask and pushes Jimin away all the time.But his crush starts to overtake.It’s not a phase anymore.And with Jimin slowly trying to ignore him, Jungkook knows he can’t stay away from his hyung. (this is totally my perspective, and we will never know their real feelings, I just guess, based on how I would have acted if I was in such situation.Because, I admit, I have lots of similarities with JK in character.Even tho I didn’t like him before, it’s surprising now that I find out.I AM NOT SAYING I KNOW HIS PERSONALITY OR ANYTHING!don’t get me wrong)

Sexualities and how complex this is.

If you asked me to point out who I think might be gay or lgbt in BTS, I will go like J-Hope, Suga(he mentioned that the gender doesn’t matter,so..) and maybe Jimin. If you ever asked me about Jungkook I would’ve screamed STRAIGHT from the rooftops..But now.Oh, now…I don’t only observe their actions, but also consider what they say and what sign they try to give us. I will only speak about Jungkook since I don’t want to make this EVEN longer. We know that Jungkook is Troye Sivan’s fanboy.Does this make him gay?No.I also listen to Troye, Hayle Kyoko, and some other lgbt musicians.My best guy friend likes Troye Sivan and even if he doesn’t always act in the manliest way(you know what I mean) he is hella straight.And he’s gonna be a great husband because the way he values women-this is so much MANLIER than anything else. Yep, liking Troye doesn’t make him gay. But at the same time, the Jikook timeline is just such a big coincidence.At the RUN era, when I think they got together, he covered Troye Sivan’s song “Fools”.(he and RM didn’t change the pronouns) In my opinion, this is important, because it’s the first sign he gave us.In Korea being lgbt is really hard.Most young people are fine with it, but even they will look at you like you are different(in a not good way).And what about elders.They think being gay is wrong.Something is wrong with YOU.

I think Jungkook is bisexual.He showed that he is attracted to women and it’s also obvious to me, but I think he has some male crushes.(and one male boyfriend at this time, but anyways xdd)And I think Jimin is just special.Maybe he was this one boy Jungkook really fell in love with.

Also, using his song for GCF without changing the pronouns or cutting off parts of the song and skipping to the chorus,it shows that he wasn’t bothered.In that show this year he said that he feels like he’s wearing a mask when he’s with other people.For me, this is like saying that he hid something about himself.Not just acting idolish, but also keeping the truth.And the fact that in America this year Namjoon mentioned several times, when they asked them about dating, that they don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend.Also, thatlove is not only between genders.(i stan this king and his beautiful mind; I literally fell in love with the small part of his way of thinking that he showed to us.I can’t believe how I’d feel if I knew him personally)

I think BTS gave us many hints that there are lgbt members among them.And I think Jikook is one of them.Also, I think Namjoon is lgbt, but I will not explicit the exact sexuality because I really have no idea.

What I’ve seen on Jikookers’ profiles.

I have noticed many fans of Jikook saying that they have been in kpop for a long time, but they’ve never seen a ship like this.So real.SO unexplainable.Because even if I remove all the times they look at each other, hold hands, hug, smile, laugh together, tease each other ,the jealousy moments or whatever(photoshoots together, fanservice,couple items) even after I do that (like stop including the moments that ships are based on usually), with Jikook there are STILL moments I can’t explain with brotherhood!I just can’t.So, not just that Jikook really is like any other ship, butmany who ship them study psychology or/and body language.

Me too.I’ve watched videos with other ships’ moments and 'proof’, but never ever found something that really couldn’t be explained.So I believe that Jikook really is different.I don’t hate any ship!They are all beautiful and have amazing moments, no matter what kind of relationship those two people have.(Like.. have you seen Taemin and Jimin.Or Taemin and Kai.They have such cute friendship.) I also love Jessica and Krystal, because I also have a sister and it’s really amazing how close they are.Ships could be for all types of relationship.Shipping doesn’t mean you see two persons being romantically involved.That’s why I don’t ship Jikook. I support them.

And you know what.I always will.And all BTS members.Even if Jungkook and Jimin are not dating.Even if they date someone else(boy or girl/bandmate,co-idol,friend,someone unfamous,a fan even).I will always respect them.I don’t force them to be together and neither I can.I just want to show that no matter what they choose, I will support them.I only believe (my opinion!) that there is something beautiful between them and I believe is that type of love.That’s it.

And finally!How I think their (romantic) relationship is.

I feel like at first, it was scary and unsure, but as time passed by, they got closer.They know that they can always rely on each other.It feels like this couple is very supportive and cute.For me, they might have fights from time to time, be a little possessive, but they would never leave each other.It seems that they have been through a lot about how people saw them(members are 100% supporting them; BH also seems fine about it–but what about their families? I hope the same goes for them),or how they have to hide all the time,how jealousy got them on their nerves or just simple argues.Anyway, I think they will survive all the obstacles and still stand side by side.

No matter what you think, you ship someone else, support them and believe in them as much as I do even more, only spread the love.This is our biggest weapon against all the bad things that happen in our life.Love, after all, is the key to happiness.

Sorry for another long rant, but I just needed to clear myself out and to sort out “the proof” going in my head.I hope you liked it and I hope it helped you get another perspective on this topic.I tried to give the most objective assessment.I am and will always be as realistic as hell.That’s why I judge from both sides.That’s why I never consider as evidence moments where they -look at each other -smile at each other -hug, hold hands, etc. (even tho it’s still cute, this is not what made me believe in them.I was very skeptical at the beginning too and I did my research very well :) )

Since my account is new, I don’t plan to post actively what happens between Jikook.Most would be rants and analysis.Also, if you want to (if you are ready) follow me xd because I have only one friend that ships Jikook, but she is not into kpop so much lately,so..you get me.

Let’s be friends y'all!SPREAD LOVE!LOVE YOURSELF!

#jikook #kookmin #analysis #jikookisreal #opinion #respect #i dont hate #so don't hate on me too #jungkok #jimin #jeon jungkook #jeon jeongguk #park jimin

57 notes · View notes