#altho rlly it’s not WRONG just. different

[dearqueerdeers]

so at what phase of realizing a new thing about my identity is it appropriate to change all of my pride icons to a different flag 😭

#where’s that tik tok that’s like #‘I am stan and I was wrong I’m singing the stan wrong song’ #altho rlly it’s not WRONG just. different #sigh #pan-oriented aroace #just missing the ‘aro’ part in all my headers and icons and stuff #alas

[junikshanasar]

so bakugou is dead (?)

and man i gotta say, what a cool and emotional death

this panel right here is super cool

and dude, does he really carry the all might card aronud with him? that’s cute, maybe it’s like a good luck charm or something

i loved the end of the chapter and the build-up towards the panel’s reveal too, witht he whole “oof i wanted all might to sign my card” and “man that kid of ours doesn’t like rain” and it starts raining like yayy i love that sorta stuff

anyway with that aside, this was a completely unnecessary “plot twist”

shouto may be my favourite, but I like bakugou’s character, he truly has a wonderful character arc and is definitely the most dynamic of the origin trio. ofc, i don’t want him to be dead, but i wouldn’t be opposed to it either

the issue is YOU CANT TAKE ONE OF YOUR BEST CHARACTERS AND KILL HIM OFF SO LAMELY

while the death itself was pretty sick, the reasoning behind it and it’s (current) effect on the story is just absymal

storywise, this pretty much plays like,

uh, spoilers for jojo’s part 2

this pretty much plays like caesar’s death, and if you didn’t already know, caesar is one of my favourite characters in the series (i finally understood all the caesar salad jokes my brother made ಠ_ಠ)

anyway it’s unexpected, adds shock value, and it’s very emotional

but what does it add to the story and fight? nothing! nada! it pretty much just takes a strong character out to showcase how strong our mc is. however, the difference is that storywise caesar doesnt rlly add anything to the major plot rip, but on the other hand-

bakugou is literally one of our foils and the main rival. he’s not like sir nighteye or stars and stripes who sorta appear and then disappear (altho sir nighteye was infinitely more useful to the story and a better character than star, but that’s irrelevant rn)

well, there’s been a lotta weird choices in this ‘final battle arc,’ so let’s start with deku not even being here. with all their careful planning, it only makes sense for smthing to go wrong. it’s like one of the rules of storywriting: everything that can go wrong, will go wrong, or at the very least everything should not go completely according to plan or you won’t have any tension or interest

that being said, there's rlly no narrative tension at all to things ‘going wrong’ with deku ending up in the wrong area. his presence literally does nothing for uraraka, toga and the rest, and he literally skedaddles right away. that’s one wasted opportunity for, idk smthing. def NOT a monologue tho, thank god Tsuyu cut that off it would’ve been such a waste of time, especially during battle 

but okay, i understand the real tension comes from his absence where bakugou, the big 3 and aizawa are, but when we watch their battle and see just how badly they’re doing, it makes deku’s presence who we’re waiting on (for way too long, might I add) feel like it a deus ex machina of sorts, rather than the final key to their plan

it rlly just feels like wowowow shiggy too stronk we need op deku to save the day like bruh

on that vein, the reasoning behind bakugou’s death is straight up whack. ig it’s not super out there that bakugou would die, he’s all battered up after all, but here’s what it felt like we were building up for:

when deku finna arrives, bakugou and deku would hafta work together, deku with his whatever op power he's gonna one-shot shiggy with (maybe talk-no jutsu XD, idk), and bakugou with his understanding and quick pick-up of how shiggy thinks, fights and moves. together they would not only be able to anticipate shiggy's moves, but also have the firepower to carry through

but bakugou dying straight up nopes that, like what were you even building towards with bakugou predicting shiggy’s moves then???

Starting with that, one of the potential reasons for bakugou dying is that he feels the urge to help, because a hero doesnt stop fighting until they die, he must keep fighting, he needs to win

ok and? mans is one of the weakest fighters there + he’s not even in peak condition, he’s literally all beaten up. yes, afo is intimidated by him, but that’s because he’s literally kamikaze-ing this fight, when there is no reason for him to do so. his continued fighting is acc a burden on the others, since we can see they need to go out of their way to protect him (not that they succeed rip)

with all that said, i do understand it’s not in bakugou’s character to just sit back while he can ‘still fight,’ it just feels so immature and unstrategic of him, especially when he seems to have worked out shiggy’s fighting patterns which he could then communicate to the others, namely deku when he arrives. but, ig I hafta remember that bakugou is literally a kid and they are in the heat of battle, so I will put this argument aside for now

A counter argument is, he may have wanted to test out his theories on how shiggy fights, by acc fighting him. brilliant! he was clearly right! he also has absolutely no reason to do so, when earlier he was clearly observing through watching shiggy fight the others.

he coulda left it at that because a) pros like best jeanist and miruko who can still actively fight are there, b) the BIG THREE of ua are there, you cannot say that bakugou is on par with the big 3, that's just unrealistic. even if they cant handle it, what's he supposed to do? 

with regards to the big three tho, it’s obvious they’ve been shoved aside and are just sorta there. despite all the hype for tamaki’s big ko move, it ends up falling flat

Well, in the end bakugou is bakugou, he will join the fray regardless, so let me just BRING UP THAT LAMEASS FINAL LINE

like in a certain context, this would be perfect. yes, this is exactly what deku has been doing for most of his battles up until now. but deku’s not even here

if bakugou and deku had been fighting together, and then bakugou got hit since he's injured and not at his best and then died? that would made a lot more sense, and had more of a narrative, but also emotional impact

yes, i admit it, i was not sad at all by bakugou’s death. shocked? yes. but sad or emotional? not rlly.

if bakugou had died while he was fighting together with deku, not only would it be a blow because deku's intelligence source abt shiggy fight patterns is out, thus tipping the supposed fight in shiggy's favour, but we also acc get that emotional tension from deku reacting to his death

acc, this is pretty much what happened when bakugou got stabbed like everywhere during the war arc while protecting midoriya. now that, i felt smthing. back there, it was done quite well and effectively, even tho bakugou didnt die. it affected the fight because deku went sicko mode (as most shounen protags tend to do), and it was in-line with bakugou's character arc

this death was too rushed! does it feel like parallels, like bakugou is experiencing what deku felt as is spoonfed to use by the top three text panels? 

no, not really. it feels like  we hafta show just how powerful deku has gotten by having his 'rival' literally kill himself trying to catch up to him. this death could’ve acc played out really nicely, and this line could’ve been really solid because ‘catching up’ has always been one of the themes between bakugou and midoriya. 

im just upset they did his death so half-heartedly, it's so obvsly more of a shock-value thing

phew, ok, had to get that off my chest. after that entire rant, i’d like to mention that bakugou might not be perma dead lmao

i’ve seen some ppl arent believing in the death until the whole fight is over, since bakugou is literally THE most popular character according to polls. i’ve seen others mention that gran torino also had an emotional ‘death,’ but he didn’t acc die

i’d like to point out that upon rereading, they never acc say mans died, just screamed abt his heart which got desecrated here:

we only saw the image of bloody bakugou, but the last time we were only told and not shown smthing was when they were looking for the UA traitor and the chapter ended off with hagakure, who we all know is NOT the traitor

I’d acc be cheesed if after all those dramatics mans comes back to life without at the very least permanent consequences, but yea, there’s also a lot of references to the vestiges. afo relates bakugou to the second user,

so we can also mayyyybe assume the second user might have an ability that can heal/help bakugou? in any case, we know the second user and bakugou are very similar, which i think most people suspected anyway

but also just all his interactions with the vestiges. we can see here that right before shiggy does that ‘final blow,’ bakugou’s eyes are shaped like stars

plus all the star spars around him, so he might be connecting to the vestige world or maybe their powers in some way?? because right after that we see him talking to vestige all might in his head

maybe this is a sign he’s somehow connected to the vestige world through a panicked afo who did smthing idk, but regardless I suspect this isnt the end of bakugou

or i just overcomplicated things! who knows, who knows, gotta wait for the next chapterヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪

#manga spoilers #bnha #chapter 362 #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #jojo spoilers #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #deku #all might #bakugou death #vestiges #big three #manga analysis #Character Discussion #character death #im tired after typing that up lmao

[divorcetual]

Im gonna play around with making sentences in Koro Creole. Gonna try "I already ate. I made food. I am cooking. I will be full, I will not be hungry"

Here's a highlighted version- I'll try to keep colors the same for parts of the words throughout this post:

"I already ate. I made food. I am cooking. I will be full, I will not be hungry"

Pink is past tense ans blue is future. Idk how to seperate verb from tense in highlighting for english so I highlited the whole word. Orange is the negative

I've chosen those because it means I get to play around with a lot of different verb tenses.

First I gotta put it into spanish, so I think it would be "Ya comí. Hice comida. Estoy cocinando. Estaré lleno, No estaré hambriento"

(OH! this is gonna b rlly hard to read if you don't speak spanish, so I'll write a simple guide right here:

"Ya" means already, "Estar" (and conjugations- for these all the words that begin with "est" are conjugations in line with the tense seen in the english above). "Hice" (and later seen as "Hacer") is "to make". Also sibce the subject (I) and the tense (Past/present/future) are both in the same word as the verb, negatives are written before the verb- that's why "no" is at the front of "I will not be hungry/no estaré hambriento"

I think the rest of the words should be the same order as the english translation above)

But some of the conjugations change/are gotten rid of, and I think they would use the mandarin "Le" for past tense. But I don't like other particles (?) would be used. For future tense ... Since le is already used for past, the two options I have are using "[Verb] + nole" literally saying its Not using the past particle, instead indicating a future tense. I rlly like that and I think it could be interesting to look into how that developed. I could also use a mandarin particle again.

Oh !! Smth else that mandarin does sometimes (I THINK correct me if im wrong) is just implying that it's in the future with surrounding words. Like basically saying "Tomorrow I am eating"- technically using the present tense, but the use of "tomorrow" indicates that it's in the future.

So it then turns into "Ya yo comerle. Yo hacerle comida. Yo estar cocinando. [En el] futuro yo estar lleno, No [yo] estar hambriento"

Literally "Already I eat[Past Particle]. I make[P.P.] food. I be/am cooking. [In the] future I be/am full, not [I] be/am hungry"

I put a couple words in brackets bcs im tentative on their use. When using it in terms of conjugation, I think "In the" might be omitted is saying future. So it would be "Future I am full, i am not hungry" as opposed to "IN THE future I am full, I am not hungry". I also don't know if "I" would be repeated. It could be assumed that since the tense was assumed for the second half, the subject can be as well- like you only gotta state the subject or tense if it changes. So it's then like "Future I am full, am not hungry"

Altho.... Omitting the tense from the second half might cause confusion. That might be were "nole" comes in. Like if a sentence continues you restate that it's in the future. So it's them "Futuro yo estar lleno, no estar hambriento nole".

"Ya yo comerle. Yo hacerle comida. Yo estar cocinando. Futuro yo estar lleno, No estar hambriento nole"

We also gotta think about the english and portuguese influence. I've been focusing a lot on the mandarin since it's the most different, but english and portuguese probably have more influence than mandarin. Technically the changes in conjugation should be more reminiscent of english and portugese than mandarin but. Thats less fun.

Ohh we also have to assume that, at least in the pidgin stage, it wasn't all one language. Like since the language developed in argentina/chile, northeastern areas maybe had more portuguese influence while western parts might have had more mandarin influence. Especially since the mandarin mainly came from trade w/ chile, it would make sense for coastal towns to use it more than inland ones.

Moving onto pronunciation, there aren't a TONNN of sounds that are difdocult for english or mandarin speakers to say that are also in spanish, but there are some. Namely ʒ (Like in "Asia" or "Beige"), which I hear somes out as a J or S sound often (I'm just reading this off some stuff online btw, so I'm not 100% sure if it's right). I heard V also comes out as W a lot. So words like "Ver" or "Vamos" would be "Wer" or "Wamos". L's and R's also seem underpronounced/mixed? idk. None of those sounds (Besides the L, in le, but that's from the original mandarin) are in the provided sentences. It's a good thing to remember tho

I'll have to keep working on the vocabulary and grammer, but I'm happy with how it looks rn

#pastex

[skyartworkzzz]

i had an idea that came from a fic i was reading!

everyone interprets an au differently, even if they try to get as close to canon as possible. so, i like to think that every interpretation exists at the same time!

that way, while they may not actually be canon, they're canon in the eyes of the person interpreting them! each character and au, when we interpret them, ends up being something different from the original. only some things are different, but the premise of it all is the same

so long as you respect other people's interpretations, i don't think there's anything wrong with it. it leaves room to be creative, and to imagine a much bigger multiverse!

this is just how i see it tho- i dunno how anyone else sees it

NO FR THATS LITR THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF FANDOMS, just go wild dude!! URE HERE TO HAVE FUN!

Ofc altho some stuff is canon to u cuz thats how u interpret them, it will never be the same as what the Creator of said canon content has in mind (in the case of Undertale, thatd be Toby Fox), cuz- theyre the creator KJDNMASDK AND EVEryone thinks differently! But it def shouldnt stop u from having ur own visions about smtng! Ure free to create what u want, and thats one of the wonders of a fandom!

Many minds thinking differently always provide more content for you to enjoy, despite not being canon, but its exactly what makes ur stay in a media more enjoyable! Cuz u just have SO MUCH to explore!!

So rlly, thats why I think its extremely offensive and apathetic of someone to want to control other ppl's creativity, cuz it litr means ure trying to stop em from acting different than u (which is fcking Impossible) and enjoying themselves at their own manner. AND THIS IS EXACTLY ONE OF THE MANY REASONS WHY so many ppl are anxious and insecure about sharing their ideas!! Therefore not allowing themselves to have fun, so u can see how harmful this actually is

#ask #undertale #anon #skyartworkzzz #this is actually all what my original universe is about #the entire headscape of an artist and how they see medias and pieces of content they enjoy to make their own ideas out of it #i may sound cheesy when i say this but imagination is smtng magical #u can litr create an entire world with it and make ppl grow attached to it at a level it even comforts them emotionally #okay im getting off track now KJSANDKMALSDSAL #ANYWAYS ANON thats a real good take u had of the situation and exactly how fandoms should work

[marsgod]

also floyd would be such a good candiate for a vamp bcs hes already so bite-y

just imagine instead of sqeezing ppl he brainwashes them w vampiric powers and drinks their blood. enough thatbthose guys know smth is wrong but not enough for smth realy bad to happen so the customers would pay back whatever they owed azul or smth

and jades mushroom obsession would be even better. (i like to think vamps cant die bcs of poison cuz that affects u thu blood and internal oragns and vampires are like walking corpses) he eats poisonous ones and compares the influence mushrooms have on him to the things they do to humans, and then drink the blood of his victims to see if the shroms make their blood taste different

Jhdbdujdjj

im at a party rn but all i can think of is vampire twst cast (and maybe genshin too like half drgon zhongli already does things to my simp brain but vampire zhongli damn imma be brainrottin abt this till i die)

VAMPIRE FLOYD MY BELOVED OMG

i feel like he’d either not care enough or forget, or get to hungry, and just chomp (not just on you neck, he’ll deadass just chomp and chew on your arm or leg or sum)

Jade’ll def fit into it and uses it as an excuse to taunt floyd w mushrooms, and gets even more mushrooms/plants

and vampire zhongli….👀👀👀🫣👌

I rlly like vampire beidou or vampire rosaria, not even for romance (altho i personally wouldn’t complain) just cause it fits rosaria’s aesthetic (or vampire hunter! rosaria?) or Beidou, or just monster! au genshin

#{..the state of grace;mutuals..} #twisted wonderland #genshin impact #vampire #🧠.{b.b.i}

[foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland]

I’m loving your jrwi updates btw, it’s so fun to see you experience the whole campaign!! I’m glad you’re enjoying it :DDDD

Would love to hear your guesses for what’s going to happen in the next few, because it is a LOT lmaooo 👀

Also quick note - most of us in jrwiblr tag our liveblogs as “#jrwilb” (and not #jrwi) so that we don’t accidentally spoil people in the main tag!! Since the campaign is so long yknow, there’s always people still catching up :O

Anyway just thought I’d pop by and say how much I’m enjoying all your reactions heheheh

aww tysm !!!! ty for the notice on what tag 2 use ill b sure to swap 2 that from now on !!!! sorry 4 the many many wrongly tagged posts ill probably go back n retag what i can (altho it is definitelyyy a lot so itll take some time 2 do) so rn im in the middle of listening to episode 90 but my GUESS for the next few episodes?? errr. hm well its a little difficult to guess because like the crew has abt ten million different things on their to do list. buttttt. well it does feel like everything is definitely boiling up to some sort of big all out navy vs pirates type thing but im not sure if that could rlly happen within likeee. what 10 more episodes ? i think theres like 100 in total so far right ? i mean i guess it could happen bc most of the arcs happen in like 5ish episodes. so maybe that ? thatd actually be sick tho like. avengers endgame style. i think. idk i didnt watch it

im assuming they do finally go back to zero with no more distractions and like meet ollies mum and HOPEFULLY everythings absolutely fine and nothing could possibly go wrong with that.

errrr well they only got finn back recently soo arlin is probablyyyy definitelyyy not a possibility bc finns not even awake yet so even tho i was sortaaa expecting them to find him by around this time back when i was listening 2 like episodes 20 or 30 that is. probably for like. 140 or smth like that idfk.

errr welll. yeah honestly the only things i can rlly expect r like. navy vs pirates thing. anddd. caspian finally being open w how much he flirts w the crew like oh my goddd. godddd idk man like. fuckin anythinggg could happen like omg. altho i think i am expecting some more riptide n. er. whatever. lizzies crew was called. smthberries. but more of them 2gether. AND MORE EARL NOW !!! bc hes back. anddddd yeah :3

#day thoughts #errr wait i actually do not know what 2 tag this one as bc its not LIVEBLOGGIng wait #jrwi spoilers #i will make do w that 4 now until i know anything else 2 tag it w #i do apologise again 4 all the wrong tagging anddd yea i will change that now #but ty 4 the ask anon !!!!! <3

[local-trashmouth]

Henry making love to you and you're all soft but then you say you want kids and now bow (yes I call him bow lol) has the idea of getting you pregnant in his mind and kinda snaps and gets a bit feral or he extra soft 🥺🥺 whatever you like I just had this idea lol (feel free to write this for the gang as well, separate ofc)

note: not directly female cause 'm ftm so like gn reader please <3

headcanons ?

AAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE YOU

LITERALLY THIS HAD ME SCREAMING (altho I didnt rlly know how to write this because I hate kids xD)

I'm not sure if you meant have kids in sense of the natural way, or adopt a child (although that interferes with the impregnation thought of the bois) so I just wrote both variants

(also if this isn't what you wanted, pls send another ask. If that's the case im very sorry ;-;)

Warnings: mention of sex, impregnation, Patrick is a warning himself lol

Pairing: Henry Bowers x reader, Patrick Hockstetter x reader (I thought this fits him too)

Henry Bowers

Having a child naturally

since you said that, he can't concentrate on anything but the thoughts of building a future with you

he definetly goes soft on you, practically melting into putty

just you telling him that you want kids with him gives him butterflies

although he's worrying about being a horrible dad like Butch

you have to reassure him, telling him that he'll be the total opposite

heck even in school he can't think about anything else other than moving out of Derry with you and building a Family

he'll totally get you there, I mean, when you two can provide for a Family of course

he doesn't want to have children at a time where he can't give them the best possible life he has to offer

fight me on this, but he totally wants girls

so they have your beauty and heart, and he really just wants to do their hair

but when one of them or both turn out to identify differently he'll support them despite his views (same with the son/s)

if you end up having a son, or multiple he'll totally be that cool dad

taking them to shooting lessons and spending a lot of time with them

adopting a child

again, he wants to wait until you two can provide for it

he's gonna try his best to be a good parent, better than the previous ones at least

he'll probably take his kids into the woods too, make campfires with them while letting you put your head onto his shoulder

you just adore watching him bloom like that

if they ever ask about being adopted, he wouldn't be closed off about it

he totally takes you and the kids to Derry for holidays to brag to Butch about his success, and will 100% rub it into the boys' faces aswell

he really wants the kids to get along with the guys, they're his closest friends after all

Patrick Hockstetter

Having a child naturally

he totally goes feral when you say that

look, he won't be the best dad there is

and it's not even really his fault

which sometimes upsets you, and he gets it

but he's trying okay

he'll make a lot of shitty dad jokes

very very very overprotective over his kids

now there isn't just one real Person to him, but a whole family

HIS family

like, how did he get here?

it often overwhelms him

but he knows he can find that security he needs with you

so everything's good in the end

he really doesn't have a preference for the gender, and he will seem like he doesn't care about his kids

but he truly does, and it shows in other things than affection

for example, he will not hesitate to defend his kid, no matter if they are in the wrong or not

he'll also attend therapy which is a big step to a better future :)

when he's alone with you he opens up about his worries of not being able to give them the things they need/want because of his lack of empathy

so u better reassure ur fireboi

adopting a child

he lets you "choose"

the first months will be rough, and there will be a lot of small fights between you two

because Patrick never imagined to be in this kind of commitment

he hopes the kid gets into knives and other weapons, cuz boi will he fanboy about the one's he still has from being younger

he wants to stay in Derry, he just likes this town somehow

maybe its because he can get away with his killing

talking about that, he'll stop it

just for you and the kid of course

so you better feel special

#Henry Bowers #henry bowers imagine #fanfic #fluff #headcanons #imagines #reader insert #writing #it chapter one #it 2017 #henry bowers x reader #henry bowers headcanons #patrick hockstetter x reader #patrick hockstetter imagine #patrick hockstetter headcanons #Patrick Hockstetter

[kristalpepsi]

Temptation Stairway Thoughts™ + Theory Discussion

TW: blood + Death mentions, Implied (forced/pushed) integration (systems), racism (against asians), unreality stuff bc the show is Like That, Trauma causd by therapy

TL;DR = I mainly talk about implied integration, n as some1 in a system tht! mkes me uncomfy! I mainly will talk abt wht I’m calling the multi-ena theory (n anothr theory ill call the Multiple/Multi-Enaverse Theory) thts been popping up n disccng how thts kind of the bggst thng keepng me on board! I won’t LIE I might b a little biased bc I rlly do like thise show b I am NOT blind so I will try 2 address som things. I also talk alot abt the Shepard n Phindol bc I love themb so much they make me very heart Big.

DISCLAIMERS:

Obviously Joel G Highkey/definitely/most probbly did not intend 4 any of thise, but media is very complic8d so u cn end up accidntlly making problmtc things or implyng not great things

I hav a typing quirkkkk so if u cant understand my post I rlly dont blame u! I’m sorry how I type is Incomprehensible™

Not an angry post, more like my brain is holding me host-ge until i talk abt everyth dskfjhd!!

DO NOT Send anyone in thise post hate or angry asks/messages or perish by my sword

OK so this recnt episde has me w vry vry mixd feelngs!!! I’m both happy n exctd! b litrlly 2 things is whts bothrng me. While I CLD jst say :I Am Lookng Away: i rlly do need 2 write it down. Under a Read-more bc im secure SKSJ

Part 0: I’m uncomfortable help

The Section wher i tlk abt n bring up othr ppl’s concerns

So fr most if nt all the frnds I hav who also wtch Ena ALSO has a vry “vr vry mixd feelngs now tht I’ve seen the episde!!” mood twrds Temptation Stairway! It’s 4 a bunch of rsns, like thise post (tw racism) mde by a frnd whch brings up a good point

Part 1: The Actual Intro

Episode 1 = Auction day (AD) Episode 2 = Extinction Party (EP) Episode 3 = Tempation Stairway (TS)

Who is Ena

Ena can b describd as an "abstract girl split in half, w 1 blue side n the other is her yellow side!" Each side (emotion/mood, 2 b specific) seems 2 hav their own voic actor credited along with seper8 credits 4 each mood! So far the canon sides r Ena (happy), Ena (sad), n Ena (drunk)! They seem 2 act accordingly: Happy acts happy n optimistc, Sad acts sad n especlly depressd, n Drunk acts confused n dizzy [In the Credits, it would look like thise: Ena (happy) by Gabe V., Ena (sad) by Lizzie Freeman, (drunk) Ena by Sam Meza

4 Episodes 1-2, thy follow thise pattern exctly! So we cn expect wht 2 see from them, n each voice actor is creditd accordngly as seper8 b all a part of Ena

On epside 3, Ena is seen as actng diffrnt!! She's suddnly less predictabl! I say thise bc Suddenly, her voic Actors r not stuck 2 Only their sides. Thise is also emphasized when looking at the credit list! No longer is it "Ena (happy) by Gabe V., Ena (sad) by Lizzie Freeman" it's now jst "ENA by Gabe V. and Lizzie Freeman"

Happy's voic can sound STRESSED n sad, Happy can tlk w Blue's side in mor control n Sad's voic can sound Really happy n optimistic. Somth's Diffrnt n Not The Same

Temptation Stairway Summary

Skipping 2 my point, The summary of the episode Temptation stairway is tht Moony and Ena have a bet 2 race 2 the Great Runas! The Great Runas, can grnt u any wish accordng 2 Moony n som of those Ena passes by on the wy. The wager, is tht "whoever reaches the top of the Great Runas n makes their wish 1st, has 2 pay the debts of the loser" (yes it’s phrased like that) As Ena journeys thru, The DIFFERENCES between Ena Temptation Stairway and Ena Extinction Party n Below, is mor obvious as the epsde progrsses, even 2 wher Happy's voic actor is the 1 screamng in agony 2 jst get murdered already. The Episode ends w Moony beatng Ena (but it's 100% possibl it can be the other way arnd, that ENA Beat Moony, b thats somth I'll discuss in a bit L8r). Moony splits in half, revealing that according 2 her, "she wished 2 be skinny" n a humanoid coms out of her previous form. As 4 Ena, Her blue side slowly dispprs n its not answrd why.

Theories so far, are:

Moony wished 4 Ena 2 b happy (or 4 her sad/blu side 2 go awy. 4 wht reason can b eithr wholsom or 2 Moony's advntge [like so she "doesnt have 2 deal w Sad Ena"]) - b if Moony wished 4 Ena 2 b happy/b rid of her sad side, tht wld mean perhaps she lied about wishing 2 be skinny (her new humanoid form may be how she is "paying her debt 2 the loser"). Unless the Runas can grant u more than 1 wish.

Ena ws the 1 who wished her blu side awy, whch is a little depressng tbh

If both the above r tru, it may b possibl bc it wsnt clarified (afaik) tht the great runas can only grant ONE person a wish (or more). I think we only get tht implica8ion bc we see 1 (open) door while in the distance, ther r more doors tht look like their eyes r closed. We hav 2 remembr Moony said "whoever makes their wish 1st whch means Ena n Moony can totlly mke wishes @ the sme time

Somhow, turning pure yellow/only happy is how Moony is payng her debt 2 Ena(??) (opposite 2 the 1st theory)

OR If Ena won the race, it can even b possibl 2 consider tht Ena did not make ANY wish, n her debt 2 pay 2 Moony is her sad/blue side removed (I do not subscribe 2 thise) 

This info that was brought up 2 me is high evidenc that Moony won the race, n it explains how Moony surprises Ena whn Ena arrives. “I’m The Best and you’re the worst! I wonder who got the hair chest?” said by Ena, is a direct reference 2 a phrase usd by kids when they lose that goes “First is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the hairy chest.”

“Whoever reaches the top of the Great Runas n makes their wish 1st, has 2 pay the debts of the loser.“ Might be phrased tht way as a weird way 2 pay 4 ur greed? (Last minute addition from me since some people wld think this is quoted wrong in and outside of the youtube comments)

i'm p sure ther may even b mor theories b i dont rmmbr them OOPS

Part 2: The Implied Integration Part AKA: How the System!Ena theory is affected by this episode

TW: Final fusion discussion, medical trauma (Is that the right word)

Disclaimer: This is 100% unintended by Joel G. That’s y the Alternative title 2 thise part is “How the System!Ena theory is affected by this episode”

2 GET IN2 the whole Implied Integr8ion part of my Essay™ I hav a theory calld system ena or sys!ena! (Check out my #system ena tag. This is in chronologicl order!) While thers no canon explan8ion 4 how Ena herslf is how she is, she mkes very intrstng n almst good accdntl Sys Represent8ion 2 me! They even show cofronting rlly well! I headcanon Ena as a system bc of the accidentl system!rep, but it explains 2 me y n how she switches! she has triggers 4 when she switchs 2 a diffrnt side, etc!

Ther hav been theories about Temptation Stairway in the past (before the episode cme out) wher ppl try 2 explain y the trailer Looks Like Tht. Besides theorizing abt the introduction of a new forme (I'm ok w just calling it Scared/Anxiety 4 now until 4rthr notic), 1 of the theories ive seen is tht Temptation Stairway's new introduced forme is due 2 being something akin 2 being "integr8d" (probably by force, accordin 2 the OP) (in other words, all her sides merge in2 one) n Ena being devast8td abt it

While tht theory is now DEBUNKED, bc the new forme clearly did not come out bc of being One Single Mind now, the "integr8ion" part of tht theory is unfortun8ly a littl tru

What is Integr8ion?

Integr8ion is not inherently a bad thing. In systems, ther are 2 definitions: "the breaking down of barriers 2 form healthy multiplicity, n then healthy communic8ion n less amnesiac barriers" and the othr, n mor FAMOUS definition bc its the oldest 1, is "final fusion"

Fnal Fusion is when all the members "fuse/merge" 2gether until ther is 1 single mind left. While not necssrlly a bad thng, final fusion n ther4 "integr8ion" is a scry thing 4 a lot of systems 2 talk abt, because in the history of Treatment, Final fusion is uslly somthng forcd on2 systems 4 the longest time :^(

Very valid 2 hav final fusion as a goal, b showng it as a desire n end goal is uslly seen as a sad n even scry thing 2 promote accdntly or not in media, bc of the previous traumas in the medicl/therapy world of system treatment etc

What's Worse. is tht if we apply the Ending 2 Temptation Stairway to the System!Ena Theory, thts wht hurts!!!

Scrolling back up 2 the possibl theories of who won the race and wht happened aftr, Either Moony or Ena wishing 4 the blue side/Sad Ena 2 go awy is rlly painful!

B I'll be honest, thts a RLLY biased n personal opinion i hav!! I've seen ppl think its rlly wholsom altho a bit Sad, tht the blue side disappears. I've seen ppl think its rlly sweet esp if it was Moony who mde tht wish

BSCLLY If I were to hold on2 the System!Ena headcanon while watchng the Temptation Stairway episode, its Hurtful, not rlly bc of the implied Integr8ion of Sides, but bc most top theories r that the blue side disappeard on Purpose either from Moony or Ena wishing her away or involvng the debt! It's like asking 4 ur sibling irl 2 Disappear and cease 2 exist. it's scary n rlly sad esp whn the audienc can c tht Sad, Happy, n Drunk cn almst b seen as their own persons n mite even b abl 2 interact w each othr (as seen by the many fanart of Happy n Sad having their own seper8 forms)

  Ok so Now tht ive described my intro n Main Beef w the Episode, here's a theory I cn rlly get behind tht dsnt mke me wnna cry behind a Denny's. Prsnlly it's a rlly relievng theory even if it mite b hard 2 take in

Ther's no name 4 it, som call it the Enaverse, b just so it dsnt get confusd w other definitions (like, u wldnt call it the Marvel Cinematic Universe theory, the MCU is jst wht it is) I'm gnna call it the Multi-Ena theory! Bsclly, there's mor than 1 Ena in thise universe. But I'll get in2 a sub/partner theory tht is also possibl: ther is mor than 1 enaverse n somhow u may or may not b abl 2 travel between them

Part 3: The Multi-Ena theory

Something interesting I noticed was that the shepherds says “another ENA troublemaker?” Which definitely means more than one ENA/person has been there before.

(I blockd out the rest of the commnt not bc it ws bad, b i wantd 2 focus on this part of the commnt, but thise commnt will come up again L8r)

Not connected 2 System!Ena or the integr8ion issue I mentioned earlier, the multi-ena theory seems 2 b 1 of the top suggstd theories bc of many thngs! Bsclly n in short, thise theory believs tht in the series (or Enaverse), ther is multipl ena's! So fr i havent seen a post tht RLLY went in2 depth on thise so here is my attempt!

Evidence:

(See: above explanation on how the voic actors r credited 4 their roles individlly 2 explain my system!ena theory/intro) In episodes 1-2, Ena's diffrnt emotions/sides r creditd individually! In Temptation Stairway, Gabe n Lizzie Freeman r all creditd undr the sme nme, just as "Ena" (mening thise is a completely different Ena from the past)

Again, as said in my summry 4 Tempt8ion Stairway, thise Ena acts compltly diffrnt n is not follwng the sme "pattern" or rules as Ena did in Episodes 1-2! (Read above in my summary section) Either ther r stuff we've missd between Extinction Party n Temptation Stairway, or thise is a diffrnt Ena entirely.  I'd hav 2 sy prsnlly tht I'm leanng 2wrds the latter bc of how the VA's are crdtd. but if ur not convinced, let me continu:

When we meet the Shepard in 7:52 of the episode, they say (verbatim) "Arghh... Another ENA trouble maker." which implies there r more than 1 Ena's

9:08 - 9:19 when Ena jumps in2 the "Holy Code" where we head undrwtr in2 a sea of diffrnt doors, we see floating Ena models (n the comment section seems 2 gravit8 2 callng them "dead bodies") (Honorary mention: You'll notic they glitch in2 Mannequins if u pay attention 2 them). This piec of info is Direct Evidence 2 the multi-ena theory, bc ther r Explicitly mor thn 1 ena's on screen! wht's concernng n unanswrd tho, is y do they glitch in2 mannequins? Does tht mean all the mannequins we sw on screen in the begnng of the video (n onwards) were all previously an Ena? Is it only an Ena tht can transform in2 a mannequin or cn othr chrctrs also become mannequins?

Not the strongst evidenc b i'll input it anywy: Ena's Action boxes (Like when she receivs or gives items) spell her nme her as ƎNA (with a backwrds E). The thing abt thise 1 is tht we can't compare it with Auction Day n Extinction Part bc they don't have any action boxes. BUT What we CAN compare is how she is spelled in the dialogue boxes of those speakng in diffrnt languages AND in the Credits! In Episodes 1-2, She's Spelled as Ena with this captialis8ion. In Temptation Stairway the dialogue and credits consitntly spell her as ENA in all caps. May or may not allude 2 her being diffrnt, b i will admit this is the most Strechiest piec of evidnc. Tru or not, I'd like 2 refer 2 Tempt8ion Stairway ena as TS!Ena or ƎNA, prsnlly 2 differenti8 her frm the othr episodes

Pronounci8ion: BUT 2 build on the above evidence, In the beginning of the episode, Moony DOES pronounc Ena's name in different wys a lot, startng w I-NA (ai-na), ENA (ehna), n finally JENA. And this isnt new! She’s been doing it sinc Auction Day (ee-nah/ii-na) n Extinction Party (ay-nah). Thise may or my not sggst that perhaps Moony's inconsistancy is bc these othr pronunci8ions or names cld b of other ena's she's met in the past w similr or diffrnt preferences! I’d say because of her constant switchng in the beginning of Temptation Stairway, it would lean 2wards that she may know different Ena’s @ once. Otherwise, c the Multi-Enaverse theory below

Note: Every othr charctr besides Moony (So far; Merci and the Shepard) Pronounces Ena as ehna (or ehna) so it might be that perhaps Eh-na is the universal way of pronouncng Ena?

Conlusions/thghts on this theory: I prsnlly like thise a lot!! It makes Enasonas Very Possible, b also tht any interpret8ion of Ena cn b corrct or possibl! It knda saddens me tho bc im not rlly sure if we'll ever return 2 the Ena we're used 2, I wldnt rlly want 2 b stuck w/o Sad bc I thnk her role is rlly neat n can b importnt, b im biasd. I also rlly subscribe 2 thise theory bc it means whtvr happend 2 TS!Ena ds not hav 2 be permanent in the long run; Again litrlly the only thng keepng me from gettng supr upset abt the ending of Temptation Stairway, is tht the prev ena’s r not the sme n wld possibly not do thise, or tht ther r othr ena’s out ther besides THISE episod 1, who wld nvr do tht, etc

Part 4: The Multiple Enaverses/Multi-Enaverse Theory AKA The Alternative In Defense of Moony Mispronouncing Ena’s name over and over

An alterntve 2 the Multi-Ena theory, is tht there is MORE thn 1 Enaverse! So bsclly, a multiverse theory. Primarily thise my explain Not jst Ena's sudden Shift in how diffrnt she is in thise episode b may also explain how Diffrnt Moony is actng in thise episode 2. While thise isnt the top theory i prsnlly subscribe 2 (sinc ther isnt explicit evidence besides it bein an explan8ion 4 Moony n Ena's weird/diffrnt behavior), it DOES open a lot of doors 2 intrstng things 2 thnk abt!

Bsclly Moony keeps mispronouncing Ena’s name a lot (in Tempation Stairway) n its Really Rude, esp consdrng she’s always said it properly (As in @ least 1nce in an episode n not switchng multiple times) b4! so 2 Explain her Sudden change in behavior, this is actlly a Different Moony, besides a different Ena. this is a whole different universe/timeline!

LIKE If not multiple Ena's, The different Loca8ions in Ena cn probbly b traversible across dimensions! The Holy Code may b the door 2 diffrnt enaverses. The Shepard's garden cld b an interdimensionl place tht is singular n deals w diffrnt beings passing thru! While i dnt hav mch 2 sy on thise, its RLLY Interestng 2 thnk abt

Like the Multi-Ena theory, thise also opens the doors 2 enasonas being vry possibl :^) Som ppl's evidences r all involvng Moony besides how Ena's rlly diffrnt

Moony can skateboard??

Moony's square shape hole can shrink 2 hold an item

while not strong ATM or frm wht i cn see, its still very inch restng!!! Tho I would sy it is VERY on par w the Multi-Ena theory anyway

Part 5: Honorary Mentions: Mini Theories

The Great Runas is actlly a play on the "Run As" Command! I'm not very Smart engh 2 break thise down vry well, b bsclly w all the allusion 2 "codes" n the Blood ID looking like a Chip, The Great Runas being abl 2 grant u wishes makes a lot of sense! This ws brought up 2 me from a friend (@ambercard​)!

like its a command line. so then the great runas being able to grant wishes makes sense if its digital world like all the code stuff says Allows a user to run specific tools and programs with different permissions than the user's current logon provides.

Runas is a command-line tool that is built into Windows Vista. To use runas at the command line, open a command prompt, type runas with the appropriate parameters, and then press ENTER.

In the user interface for Windows Vista, the Run as… command has been changed to Run as administrator. However, you should rarely have to use the Run as administrator command because Windows Vista will automatically prompt you for an administrator password when it is needed.

and my friend who i was talking to said that probably explains what the password was for and the blood id being a login or something?

its possible using the blood id akin to using the run as administrator command since idk their name but one of the people ena met said the blood id didnt seem like her which is like. if she isnt administrator then it would make sense that using that command wouldnt match who she is

My response:

man do u realiz Ena uslly does not hav the corrct passwrd/admin privileges all the tme? Bc the guardian entity in extinction party askd her 4 1 b i guess it ws so Low Game tht it wsnt supr necsrry in the end

The Enaverse is all a computer code of some sort- most probbaly a game! AKA: This is a digital world

... If we were too treat this world as a video game this would make more sense since different play through bus and all that. Oh god this feels like a fnaf situation, taking a video that just wants to be a video and turning it into a big serious thing

Going with the whole ‘there are multiple enas representing the player’ theory, perhaps this ENA realized that she’s in a video game and isn’t taking it too well? But the game is kind of glitching out because of it.

Honorable Mentions: Random Info + Unanswered Questions

Ena seems self-aware of smth! (10:24 Ena screams "YOU'RE ALL LIVING A LIE!") May help the Run as command idea n the video game/digital reality idea! If not a video gme, they sure r Somewhere

What does the Great Runas look like?? is it the door? is ther mor thn 1 Runas?

What is Mariya n Gabo's Job? R they just like the Guardian Entity in Extinction Party but are assignd 2 this part/location of where they are?

In 6:30, wht does Ulysses mean by "Desires r never fulfilled nor quenched"? "You Will fail like the rest of them" Is he referring 2 the other Ena's that's passed by? who else have come n failed?

This Post Also brings up som good points I hvnt noticd yet!

Thise comment pretty much says everythng:

Standout things from this animation:

-This Ena switches between a male & female voice at seemingly random instead Happy speaking with a male voice and Sad speaking with a Sad voice. The text boxes noticeably refer to this Ena with a reversed E, and The Shepard says "Another Ena troublemaker", implying that there are multiple Enas. We also see some Ena corpses flickering into the mannequin bodies at one point. Third, at the end we see Ena's sad half turn from blue to yellow over the course of Ena & Moony's conversation. My personal theory is that this Ena is possibly 'broken' in some manner. -Moony either doesn't care or dosen't realize that Ena's voices aren't matching the personalities anymore. -The grey personality appears to come out when Ena gets too stressed out. Notably the transformation involves the happy half turning into static and exploding out, erasing Ena's face in the process. It also appears that some physical trauma (in this case, Brick Frog kicking Ena) is necessary to exit the grey personality, unlike the previously seen 'blackout' personalities which can possibly be switched by the other personality exerting themselves (in the auction episode, Ena enters her sad blackout/depressed personality, then switches to Happy!Ena, who apologizes to Moony about her depressed outburst). -Moony's hole is capable of closing to hold things, and she also knows how to skateboard. -Judging by Ena's reaction, Moony's transformation at the end is weird even by this universe's standards.

aaaand thats all 4 now! I really hope thats all my brain can think of skjsdhfsdfkh

Feel free 2 send me asks abt Ena theories n stuff! While this is a Comprehensiv post, it’s definitely mor focused on the Multi-Ena theory n my thghts on the episode whn it comes 2 how it affects the System Ena theory. I’m open 2 questions!!

Last Edit: Feb 19 2021 (GMT +8)

#ena #joel g #ena joel g #temptation stairway #ena theories #ena series #theories #extinction party #auction day #ena show #system ena #ask 2 tag #multi enaverse #multi ena #sys!ena #ask #anon #o boy #i swear there bettr not b any mistakes lol #bc I spent 8+ hours STRAIGHT!!!!! typing thise #i was on PURE hyperfix8ion mode i cldnt talk 2 anyone else or do anythng else until i FINISHED THISE #it ws pure adrenaline n like i ws just. goin bonkers sdfkjsdkfs i wld b doin thise n doin 5 othr things bc i had 2 eject it out of my brain #b4 i cld contonue thise #anywy thats on me bein absolute in2 Ena lol #thise is less of a negativ post nor happy post n mor of a 'brain is absolutely bonkers n is holding me h-stge until i finish typing sfgkljdS

[batz]

you’re a big inspiration to me! I idolize both your line art and shape language in your characters. If it’s not too much to ask, what’s your process for constructing/drawing a character? shapes n stuff? your style is very simple yet conveys forms with fluidity!

thank u so much omg !!!! ;u; 

uhhh my process is kind a like... like using Fast Pen Strokes and Shape as a main thing kinda? like one sec lemme show u a step by step drawing of tommy n that basically encapsulates how draw stuff.

step 1: shapes!!! u kno em u see em!

ok get a shape in ur mind and sketch it out REAL fast its ok if its messy as long as its the shape u want it to be ur GOOD i draw tommy w long head long face syndrome so i sketched out ths bean shape. one of the things i learned from taking Drawing Naked People Class is that getting the basic sketch OUT super fast, disregarding messiness and mistakes, is th best way 2 keep ur art lookin dynamic n shit. its all about the movement babey!!!! im still struggling w that tho but m getting there! drawing tommy def helps tho hes like a tall noodle boy. but yeah like stay loose w ur drawing in those first steps bc u can get some realy nice fluidity there.

step 2: details n other shit 

ok yeah self explanatory add details remember being messy being fast is a-ok bc being fast means ur getting all those good less controlled shapes that make drawing FUN remember: loosey goosey arms babey!!! u dont gotta be super restricted to these details if u dont want to be, this is like a Vague Concept of where u want to put the things. sometimes i’ll start this EXACT process again on different parts of the drawing just to get it right. its all trial n error n stuf.

step 3: LINEART or at least a version of lineart i like 2 do like sketch lineart idk

so w this instead of drawing onto another layer i actually erased all the messy lines to create like, a nice messy lineart kinda look where its solid enough that its lineart but because it wasnt drawn on another layer, tracing over ur super fast shape concept, the drawing stil retains the shape it had in the sketch process and retains its fluidity. if u do this and the lines art still too light for ur liking just copy the layer and put the opacity at any percent u like so then u end up w the same lines but darker ig. an example of cleaner lineart would look kinda like this 

which, YES the lines are cleaner and thicker which is good for certain times of drawings but i find it looks a lot more flat and its not exactly my preferred go to kinda thing (altho it is sometimes easier!) i dont typically LIKE doing actual lineart w a separate later bc it RLLY stiffens up my style, BUT i like to do it for like comics or Specific Illustrations or, in one case, th animatic, bc its just a lot cleaner of a Look.  w both versions i basically fixed a couple things wrong with the basic sketch, added more detail, slapped on some color for aesthetic purposes and added everyones favorite iconic tommy quote from hlvrai act  5 icarly edition: )

ANYWAY YEA thats like essentially it! im gonna do another art stream this saturday (and since im not working on animatic it’l actually be fun to watch and epic!!! requests n stuff maybe!!) nd u can seehow i make cartoons REAL!!! anyway ya thank u hope this isnt completely nonsensical n make sense n stuff!!!!

#long post #frank art #frank.txt #hlvrai

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

yeah same, i follow some fic accs that occaisionally post smut and its like mmmmm is the fluff writing enough to balance the posts that gives me finger burn trying to scroll past it? but yeah thats probably the way to go

ah i wasnt there for the teaser but i can imagine that was tantalising. lmaoo yes but to be fair i do have a writing acc called channiesbigheart so... balancing it out? but i absolutely am whipped beyond belief. it was a TRAVESTY how COULD they have. yeah the b sides gave him more lines but they werent the ones that were performed over and over at stages. yessss the line distribution in this album is impeccable, im pretty sure the thunderous stuff was some of their best distribution

hehe i can understand that, sometimes putting someone in a situation so horrible it would be considered a violation of human rights is theraputic, ya know? mmmm the differences are a bit nuts, it was 14 degrees today and in less than a week its going to be 32 or smth. BROOO that would be legendary, i bet theyd treat their artists rlly well and have great music as well ahhh but its a lot of work adn commitment. yES that is a mood if ever i heard one.

its the same in australia as well, sadly, you have people who hold up harry styles and lil nas x for breaking gender roles and wearing make up adn steryotypical womens clothing (and keep in mind i have infinite respect for both of them theyre honestly doing so much for the de-dehumanising of gay people and those who wear whatever they want), and calling the kpop boys gay and other things for doing the same thing, when theyve been doing it for years and gotten no recognition smh its so tragic. yes, anyway YES ONLY 6 MONTHS I AM FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES A BBY STAN altho i considered myself a fully fledged stay like 2 days after i got into them cos i just spent all day researching and fixating. YES someone said it. it feels like theyre losing a huge chunk of why a lot of people liked their music in teh first place, which was that whole dna, dope, fire mood. and even doing bright songs is fine, liek they should do what they want but i feel liek the western music industry is so fucking toxic that they feel pressured into making these decisions. dont get me wrong, theyre good decisions from a business perspective, theyre getting record breaking sales but still. mmm yeah honestly yg just needs to get its shit together or get out

oooh! not into nct but i see a lot of him, he seems rlly talented. ahh yes another channie ult lmaoo i feel that, my list is growing in leaps and bounds as well. mmm yeah i think i will, im just going to try to save enough money :) mingi appealed to me mostly for the voice (like felix smh what is it with me and deep voiced bois) but also his soft visuals and the whole cutesy thing he has going on i rlly liked. yes i did get into them while he was on hiatus, but im still mostly a casual stan, ill listen to the album when it comes out but i dont think ill obsessively look over everything to do with it, like skz. HAH WE'RE MORE SIMILAR THAN I THOUGHT. lmaooo the thot line describes them perfectly, why are they all so damn attractive. especially seonghwa, like that man looks like a character from a book, cardan greenbriar vibes anyone? mmhmm! his vocals are absolutely insane. ty! yeah im excited altho idk how theyre every going to beat border:carnival, that shit was impeccable. ahh no stress, enjoy teh groups you stan atm!

ahh thank you so much, ill keep that in mind. hehe thats good! hopefully its soon :( ah ty, it means a lot. ill think abt that and hopefully talk abt it a little more :)

ah, no it was inside our gymnasium but to get to the other side of the stage you had to exit the building, go around the back and then enter through the other stage door. ah tysm! im glad too. mmm same, they baffle me. ;n; noo so sad :( ahh, thats um not smth i put on here, but im in high school so make of that what you will :)

thank you! ive done a majority of them, i just have maths, an english presentation and an economic assignment due now so im pretty much home free. yeah i feel like hes the epitome of here for you while being inescapably far away. haha she sounds like one of my friends. lmaooo why is that me. hmmm i feel like youve answered a lot of them in that answer so maybe just ateez, enha, txt and bp? if you stan them? :)

ahhh no problem at all, proud of you for managing to overcome the procrastination! progress! mmm thats good! ahh pls do let me know if you ever decide that, i cant promise i wont cry but do what you gotta do :)

<3 w.a. 🐺

hi! sorry for the late reply, i didn't know how to construct sentences yesterday e.e

yeah sometimes it's the perfect balance! i personally don't like fics that focus mainly on the filth? the plot has to carry the whole fic somehow and the smut is just something to add to the mix. also, i'll follow you on your writing blog! i keep forgetting to do so, damn it.

"sometimes putting someone in a situation so horrible it would be considered a violation of human rights is theraputic, ya know?" putting it this way just silenced me but yes. angst just feels more realistic. it isn't always happy endings irl so i tend to do it a lot.

falling into skz is so easy! it felt like that for me too. stanning them felt like getting sucked into a blackhole. also yes i agree. kpop is nothing but an industry after all and it runs on money so i get why they do what they do as well.

i suggest we not talk about haechan because i will literally not shut up but yes my boy is an ace :( chan is also sooooo easy to love. and the chan's rooms just solidified his place as ult. having something to look forward to every week at a time when my mental health was just plummeting into the depths of tartarus just helped me be stable. oh yeah, mingi's deep voice is indeed sexc. and he has some wack ass duality as well! and i think seonghwa was one of the people i nearly considered as bias just because of his visuals because wow that's one beautiful face. and true, idk how enha's going to beat border:carnival. i don't like all the tracks simply bc of taste preferenceds but i like more than one so i consider that a lot already.

bro that gym should've had some sort of a covered walk :// also i miss being in high school sO DAMN MUCH. but i still feel like i am because time stopped when quarantine started and i was still in senior year at the time.

my ateez bias is wooyoung! it wasn't that much of a shocker to my kpop stan irls because i was a jimin stan for the longest time. enhypen is jake and they kept pointing out that he looked like seungmin sometimes so it's like chan's aussie-ness with a tinge of seungmin (the other guy in my skz bias line, in case i haven't mentioned it). txt is huening kai! i find it hard to believe that he's my age because he looks a lot younger? o.O and he always looks good damn :(( sigh for blackpink it's lisa! i tend to bias the maknaes of yg groups, it's a pattern i've noticed but don't intentionally do!

DON'T WASTE YOUR TEARS OMFG. you can always reach me elsewhere if i like disappear off this blog.

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

[lovleez]

oner 《恶浪》 mv/film theory

(this is less of a theory and more of a debunking of the mv though)

warnings: mentions of violence, murder (i wont include gifs of the bloody moments but it will be discussed!!!), animal abuse, and a bomb or two ? (someone gets blown up ;-;)

honestly the debunking might get a lil bit dark around the ling chao and ziyang individual parts, so be warned of that!

it would be helpful for you to watch/listen to these to process whats going on here:

oner 《恶浪》 mv (cw blood, murder, animal abuse, & heavy violence - please dont watch if these are triggers for you!!!) (there’s also eng subs in this link ^^)

oner - AGENT  (this is a song, but there’s quite a bit of dialogue near the end that ties into this plot!)  (cw gunshot, beeping noises that resemble a bomb ?? - all at the end of the song w/ the dialogue)

okay lets dive into it d(^-^)> !!!

to get the important info out of the way!

the start of the mv shows the three of them chilling on the couch, as friends do, watching,,well themselves on the screen (oner’s past performances as idols) (and i do believe that the idols part of this has some significance that i can figure out). the important takeaway from the beginning rlly is that they’re three good friends...who are completely unaware of each other’s secret occupations

their occupations being: ziyang, a murderer, yueyue, a spy, and ling chao, a hacker

now to jump into the main story! (starting around 1:35)

yueyue and ziyang both have the same target: the man in the restaurant. however yueyue gets there first and does his job well, as he gets away without being caught. ziyang is frustrated that his target is taken already.

*interesting detail here, but when trying to enter, ziyang shows them a ring with a purple jewel in the middle for entry,,,coincidentally, the man yueyue kills in the bar in his personal segment in the film later also has the same ring? obv the ring is for the restaurant entry so maybe ziyang wasn’t going to kill this “boss” but maybe negotiate/discuss something with him instead...but also thats disproven by the fact that ziyang pulled out a gun to presumably shoot him before realizing the dude was dead....

but also,,,suspicious how there was a zoom in to the purple ring when yueyue kills the man in the bar..maybe it means more than we think it does? altho im not too sure what  to think abt it for now

     for reference:

     ziyang’s ring                                    

     dead man in bar’s ring

.

moving on 

okay so since yueyue is a spy n all, he has to confirm his kill somewhere right? this somewhere is a phone booth,,,one that ling chao has rigged up with a bomb,,,,

speculation: someone hired ling chao to kill someone who will be approaching the phone booth; at this time, lc doesn’t know that this someone is yueyue (and is v shocked to see him there through his cameras as evident by his “what the hell! are you kidding me?”)

....and after this part the film dives into their personal stories to give more background on who  these three are (i’ll expand on those after i finish explaining the present timeline ^^) before coming back to the main story 

so!

ling chao “accidentally” blew up yueyue oh no (he’s still alive tho yey)

& then yueyue holds up a piece of candy,,,and immediately knows its ling chao (cuz its the piece of candy lc was eating earlier in the film) 

(and to take care of all loose ends that my brain is providing me with: in the beginning they didn’t know abt each other’s secret occupations...how does yueyue know that lc is capable of doing this? my answer: they used to be agent buddies!!! i’ll expand on this later hehe)

 .

and so

it was at this moment ling chao knew...he fucked up

he’s afraid yueyue might come after him.

which, is exactly what yueyue does

after going home or somewhere, yueyue receives a text telling him to get rid of “them” (ling chao) bc his “identity is exposed” 

....so now yueyue has to go and hunt down his buddy ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

and they fight! looks very painful for ling chao,,,poor dude,,,

since ziyang comes out from the back door to join the fight, theres two possibilities that come from this:

1) ling chao knew yueyue was coming and knew he couldnt take him down himself (lets be honest; he looks rlly scrawny) so he called ziyang to his location for backup (how could he know ziyang can fight? agent buddies 👐) 

2) ziyang and ling chao live together in the same house

anyways, both results making it obvious that ling chao and ziyang are on the same team while yueyue is on another (lets ignore the fact that ling chao was getting up to fight ziyang as well)

the fight scene is so dramatic oml T-T

ziyang could also be motivated to beat up yueyue in this fight cuz the dude did  take his target before he himself could (loophole: how did ziyang know it was yueyue who took his target? answer: maybe yueyue left like a signature or smthn at the crime scene, or ziyang saw him walk out  ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯ )

and when they all beat the living heck out of each other and are dramatically lying down in different areas of the room 

the tv turns on to a council saying “still want to be idols?”

(and remember, the thing they were watching on tv earlier was themselves performing,,,as idols. i cant connect it further than that so lemme know if yall figure smthn out ^-^)

so mayhaps this council is yueyue’s agency and they wanted to turn the trio against each other...? they would have set this whole situation up: they knew ziyang wanted to kill the restaurant “boss”, so they assigned yueyue to take care of him first, which creates conflict between those two. then, they hired ling chao to rig up a phone booth with a bomb; basically setting him up against yueyue

whether this council succeeds with their plan or not is unrevealed bc the film has a “to be continued” at the end, so the storyline still will have more to it!!!

although i would say the council succeeded since they all did beat each other bruised and bloody

.

that leaves the question: why  is the council setting them up against each other?

what are there previous connections beyond them just being friends 👀 ?

and here i shall bring back the “agent buddies” bit i was talking abt earlier, as well as why i linked the agent song in the beginning

near the end of the mv, there’s quite a lot of dialogue between the three of them, and it goes like this:

[robotic voice: welcome agent oner

ling chao (?): check 

yueyue: yo what up guys!

ziyang: yo what up bro

ziyang (yueyue?): alright lets take them out

yueyue: okay gentlemen we got a lot to do

ziyang: ey we gotta finish this quick, i got a date tonight

yueyue: really?

ziyang: no hard feelings (couldnt catch the rest)

yueyue: okay shut up

ling chao: hey guys, i saw a hit

(?): copy that

yueyue (ziyang?): hold your breath....now

ling chao: guys watch out

yueyue: okay guys locked and loaded

*single shot can be heard, then the reloading of a gun*

yueyue (?): go go go!

yueyue: fire fire fire!

yueyue: ???? *indistinguishable orders*

ziyang?: i got trouble i got trouble

yueyue: ?? i got ?? lets go

ling chao: stay together

ziyang (yueyue??): okay set to kill

ling chao: damn the truck is (blown?)

yueyue: what the hell

ziyang: okay let me (???) it

*bomb beeping noises*

yueyue: ???? clean this blood on my shirt]

(not sure how accurate my hearing is but its enough to make some guesses 😅)

agent buddies! the three of them used to be agents, as the song is titled, at some agency...and they probably made a pretty strong team together

the agency story would explain why they all seem to be good fighters too!

thats why the council might have wanted to tear them apart. perhaps the council was doing something that they knew would displease the trio, so they needed them separated lest they team up and try to defeat them 

i also think this audio could have been describing a mission going wrong for them, possibly their last one as a team. someone was probably hurt (im betting on either ziyang or ling chao), and they quit the agency and aimed to live normal lives from then on

...but old habits are hard to forget, so ziyang starts to kill ppl in his free time, yueyue joined another agency as a spy, and ling chao uses his hacking skills for other purposes

however they all dont tell each other, which could add on to the tension of their fight at the end of the film

.

now to dive into their individual bits of the film. these all don’t connect much to the main lore, just expands onto their lives with their secret occupations btw!

.

YUEYUE

his segment details moments in his daily agent life; im guessing he’s not very happy with it judging by his nightmares? or the nightmares are bringing up his past at his old agency which he does not like

he’s also master of disguise woah

personally i think he’s losing “who he is”. he’s always playing the role of another person, always putting on another disguise...so he starts losing his sense of identity (if that makes sense ;-;) 

(and if you wanna stretch it and make things wholesome, maybe the only times he [feels like himself] is when he’s around his two friends)

so basically: he’s always filling out other personas to the point where he doesnt know who he is anymore

(this is also the segment where he kills a man in the bar with poison,,,and the man was wearing the same ring as ziyang,,,,which is like Hm. why’d the directors do that 🤔)

.

ZIYANG

aka the murderer :D

(and not just regular serial killer type, more like joker-esque type where they’re a bit insane,,,)

okay his segment starts of with him dragging a man through a white room, where the floors is covered with plastic, and on the walls are a bunch of clay molds of human body parts

:D

my brain has concluded that! ziyang takes clay and makes molds of his victim’s faces/body parts of who he kills! to make statues! 

(i dont even know how i got there aksjdhdh but thats just what i assumed the first time i watched this film thingy)

and to make it more messed up than it already sounds,,,im guessing he’s a famous statue maker too, and holds shows where he presents his works to the public and maybe even bids them off ?

     ,,,,little did the audience know,,,,

          (this kinda remind me of sally and gabe’s statue from the pjo too now aksjhdkdh)

(i got this assumption from 6:50 in the film where he walks out in front of an audience who start clapping,,,and let my brain run wild with the rest,,,)

of course, he probably kills off the people he was the molding the clay off of once he’s done with his works,,,or sometimes even in the middle of his works as shown in the mv (*-* )

but alas that is not all to his story,,,

judging by his flashbacks when he’s beating that one dude to death with a bat, he used to be bullied when he was in school, which seems to be the source of all his anger throughout the film..

    ( yeah he killed the bullies too (_ _ )> )

its part of his personality to be rough and short tempered - he doesn’t like people looking down on him (as the bullies did)

and,,,if you want to be wholesome again! perhaps he found some bits of happiness and peace when hanging out with the others :]

.

LING CHAO

cw: animals abuse!!! 

his is pretty simple and is already explained in the mv itself! i’ll walk ya’ll through it though in case you didn’t watch the film tho akdjdjkf

basically: he’s just a dude who loves dogs :]

a lot

in his segment, a girl (handong, looking absolutely stunning ToT) approaches him wanting to take home another stray, and when he asks her where how the previous dog she adopted was doing, she says that “my bestie loved him a lot, so i gave him to her” ( -_- )

so...he lets her keep the dog, but also decides to keep an eye on her...to the point where she becomes very paranoid that someone is stalking her (which..she isnt wrong in)(but she doesn’t believe it to be ling chao because they’re..dating? i think? and he lulls her into a false sense of security that he’ll protect her from harm)

and then bam! one day he breaks into her house, steals the dog away, and then,,,,blows her up,,,,,

(i must say as disturbing this scene is,,,,i absolutely adore ling chao’s look here askjdjfd)

(i mean?? look at him?? loving the black lipstick ugh)

(v pale tho ;-;)

okay anyways the next flashbacks reveal that handong was abusing her dogs & starving them, and him being the animal lover he is, decides to kill her for it ig

(also she,,,stabbed the other dog that she “gave to her bestie” so-)

yeahh thats the end of his story; nothing much to take from it except that his hacker skills are still intact past agent days 

.

.

.

annnd thats a wrap folks! nothing else to expand on; i’ll definitely make another part to expand on this if they decide to release another mini film in the future tho :]

#violence cw #animal abuse cw #oner #yueyue #mu ziyang #ling chao #ayra goes crazy #so i didnt add much original lore here but...eh... #cant wait to see how qins ent is gonna expand on the onerverse :> #plz tell me if i missed any warnings!!

[beverlyr0ad]

crimes of grindelwald thoughts

alright obvious spoilers not that it matters bc i have one follower lmao but !! i need somewhere to scream abt this movie

first of all i love jacob and newt so much. best parts of this movie honestly i love them and i want them to be happy 

but to be fair i actually rlly rlly enjoyed watching this movie!! like,, there are a looot of things i dont understand about it and i have no idea how they happened or why theyre happening but thats Okay i would still recommend everyone watch it! its so good!!!

good things:

- grindelwald !! i mean,, no hes not a good thing but i really liked how they wrote his character. like i can UNDERSTAND the power he has over people and how hes manipulating them. hes really not just a Voldemort 2.0 and i respect that a lot bc thats not what an entirely different villain should be like. but casting issues and all aside i really liked this

- i also liked the interaction between leta lestrange and dumbledore that was some good stuff and the actors were rlly good too !!! - i like the direction queenie is going in. i mean i dont actually of course but it seems realistic and i think its important and its good character development n stuff so hhh hope that works out later tho !! i am Suspense

- jacob walked into that movie and i was like !!!!!!!!! :DDDDDDDDDDDDD i love him so much and it was rlly nice to see him back even if i dont think it was that neat to have him lose his memory of everything that happened for significance and in this movie have everything go like WHOOMP hes back but i uhhhh loved it anyway so this is not a complaint its a good thing - i still loved newt and having a good main character makes the whole movie a better watch in general. ive seen sequels where i just Cant get attatched to the new characters but wow i didnt really have much of a problem with that here

- it was also never boring and i really just loved n enjoyed this movie a lot!!!  okay hhh bad things/things that i personally disliked:

- ive seen different opinions on this but??? what was that blood pact????? what are u doing??????????????? i cant even be coherent properly so here are the main reasons that was rlly dumb

1- w-who does that in a romantic relationship ever :o and yes jkr has literally said dumbledore n grindelwald were in LOVE HELLO feel free to correct me if im wrong on anything but if ur gonna say it u should show it,,,, Continuity Please. anyway separate issue but if u love someone youre not gonna be like “hey lets make SURE we dont fight each other ever” because youll trust that the other person?? isnt gonna fight u???!!!???? im

2- thats literally not the reason he “cannot move against grindelwald” okay like it shouldnt be. this conversation literally happens in dh and dumbledore says he was scared of facing what rlly happened when ariana died!! there was no actual physical thing stopping him!!! the only acceptable justification is that he doesnt want to face this ghosts of his past and that moment and he is SCARED okay so COME ON give dumbledore his faults! hes scared of his past and that IS the reason!!

3- wait how did grindelwald, aberforth, and albus fight if they had already entered a blood pact. like i dont think albus would aim for his own brother EVER but could he even attack grindelwald if they had a blood pact?? not sure how this works lol but who was he aiming for then??? just firing everywhere randomly without intention cause that sounds,,, significantly harder to believe and makes that scene loads messier esp if grindelwald couldnt aim for albus either so

4- the blood pact was so frickin unnecessary im sobbing. like there was the scene where its all like “oh some say you were as close as brothers” and dumbledore is like “oh we were closer than brothers...” and im like OK! the little scene in the air doesnt explicitly reveal anything either so thats ok but the closer than brothers line was rlly revealing for me. at least for like two minutes and then dumbledore looked in the mirror and saw himself making a blood pact w grindelwald. like ok is That what u meant by closer than brothers bc thats what everythings pointing to but it shouldnt be and i.............ugh

5- im honestly just kind of hhhhhhhhhhhh. i can concede that the blood pact might be significant in later films and i look forward to watching them! but. at the same time i. wish that if you were going to say dumbledore was gay it would actually be explicitly referenced in the movie, instead of dancing around that and dropping it in hints and pieces that fans of the series who know this information will understand and others can just dismiss as friendship! there were So Many good places in this movie to include this fact (altho feel free to disagree w me haha) and i think that not including this fact was honestly tiring.

- nagini...........obv this isnt a huge problem bc idk where her story will go next n it might develop n become important but as of rn, i have no idea what her role in this movie is. i wonder if her reappearance in the harry potter series will actually be of significance and if itll be explained how she will end up under servitude to voldemort bc i genuinely dont understand right now. it just seems like a cameo to draw attention in the trailer ghgdjh

- leta lestrange’s death didnt feel right or impactful and im sad . definitely a huge opinion here but it felt like a mandatory character snuff to make the movie sad and ghdsjgfh oh well :(

- little continuity issues?? dumbledore being DADA professor instead of transfiguration bc Boggarts Are Important For Foreshadowing. also how is mcgonagall an adult or actually how is she even alive and um of course the fact that this movie doesnt confirm what jkr has said about dumbledore and grindelwald beforehand. 

- im actually going to totally repeat myself bc this deserves a separate point umm why arent dumbledore and grindelwald actually shown as in love with each other as young men. its completely relevant to the movie and its not hard to put it in there instead of the bLOOD PACT (ask anyone irl ive been screaming abt the blood pact ever since i came out of that movie). anyway i know david yates said he wouldnt be including that as part of the movie as fans are aware of that aNyway but its not that hard to understand. people are asking for actual representation?? not smt vague??? because this is just here to Please People. if u refuse to see this ship, ure just gonna see them as having a friendship! maybe u havent heard about what jkr said or maybe ure choosing to ignore it bc,, idk that says smt about u, or maybe another reason idk! but if u go into this knowing they were In Love and hoping to see confirmation of dumbledore being canonically gay, youre going to hear that “oh, we were more than brothers” line and be like oh yeah we been knew, or more seriously like hey! maybe we’re getting a canon confirmation, not just floaty young people leaning towards each other! like when he looked in the mirror i was like okay This Is It this is gna be confirmation but then it wasnt oop. it was the !!! bloooood paaact !!! which means that people could interpret the “closer than brothers” line as meaning oh we done did a blood pact that means we blood related look at us go! Wow! so this is basically just a half azzed attempt at pleasing people w stereotypical viewpoints and people happy to see representation. hmmmmmmmmmm.. (psst if u actually ship older dumbledore n grindelwald tho What Are You Doing Stop !! thats not a healthy relationship, grindelwald is an awful person and dumbledore deserves to grow from the person he was before!!! he deserves so much better!!! im not saying to ship them but im saying that if we’re gonna say they were in love as young men and if we are going to confirm that dumbledore is gay well,,, lets put that in canon pls!!!! we need canon representation but we dont need to pretend this ship is healthy or good bc its representation either. this isnt shipping this is asking to acknowledge that dumbledore was gay and in love with grindelwald and its confirmed that grindelwald was in love with him too. in the place the story of tcog is now, that relationship is not ever going to happen again and if u actually think it is ure suffering from some next-level delusion. just be definitive and acknowledge that your characters are LGBT tho pls!! u said they were!!! actually i would be so much happier to see a Happy And Healthy LGBT Pairing can we have that? please?)

- big spoiler but hOW IS CREDENCE ALBUS’ BROTHER WHAT IS HAPPENING DKFJDKSH i need to separate my thoughts again

1- AGE DIFFERENCE........apparently dumbledore is like 46 in this movie right?? credence doesnt look over 20. okay percival dumbledore is put in azkaban before albus starts school right?? so the maximum age albus can be is 11. now im gonna say that kendra was not having any more kids w anyone else after that incident fs so the oldest albus can be when ariana is born is 12, leaving room for some other stuff okay. ALBUS AND CREDENCE DONT LOOK LIKE THEY HAVE A 12 YEAR AGE GAP WHAT IS HAPPENINF

2- i saw people theorizing that credence is ariana’s son and NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO PLS NO

3- not an actual issue but i thought grindelwald said his name was berrylius dumbledore which i later remembered as berrylium dumbledore and anyway thank god for the internet

4- okay at this point i cant tell if this has just been brought in for shock value or smt like. is this relevant to the plot. is grindelwald even telling the truth. w-why did the movie end there. help....... i think thats it but i do want to say that i respect the rights of the creator jkr to do whatever she wants w these characters. its her world! but i can have a whole bunch of opinions n feelings about this movie and still support it. after all, i love harry potter and the whole wizarding world w my whole heart. 

did anyone even read that LOOOL that was so long sorry

#feel free to disagree w me tho #im completely open to hear other opinions #and mine are subject to change anyway #i used so much !!!!! in this sorry #crimes of grindelwald #harry potter #hp #fbawtft #fantastic beasts #tcog #tcog spoilers #crimes of grindelwald spoilers #spoilers #hp spoilers #fantastic beasts spoilers #tcog opinions #crimes of grindelwald opinions

[montymontague]

Tag Game: Get to know me better!

Tagged by  @thatfictionaddictionblog !! thank u so much !!

Name/nickname: kiera

Star sign: gemini

Height: 5′5″

Play your playlist on shuffle, what are the first 5 songs that come up? 1. Eastside Georgia - Rilès

2. Valentine - 5SOS

3. Home Sweet Home - Car the Garden

4. Closer - Josef Salvat

5. La bohème - Charles Aznavour

(this is from my big best of the best playlist and i love all of these songs for different reason 10/10 recommend them all)

Ever had a song or poem written about you? Not that i know of

When was the last time you played the guitar? guitar is an instrument i rlly want to know how to play but haven’t ever gotten around to learning so never

Who is your celebrity crush? i dont rlly get celebrity crushes tbh

What’s a sound you love? i rlly like the sound of rain on windows/ the roof during storms

A sound you hate? that sharp s sound people do by accident sometimes when it like whistles it pierces me to my soul i hate it

Do you believe in ghosts? idrk not particularly i dont think, im fairly skeptical

Aliens? there’s got to be something else besides us somewhere in the universe it might not be what we think of as “living” or an “alien” but there has to be something else somewhere

Do you drive? not by choice and not now that im at school but i am capable yes

What was the last book you read? im rereading tfc AGAIN so that i guess, altho im pretty much constantly reading those books

Do you like the smell of gasoline? i don’t mind it but it’s not a smell i’d seek out

What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? ive been fortunate enough to never be seriously injured so idk rlly, maybe that time i thought my foot was broken bc the horse i was riding stepped on it when i was cooling her off and i couldnt put weight on it for the rest of the day

Do you have any obsessions right now? not that i can think of ?? figure skating season it starting back up and im interested in that but not obsessed i don’t think

Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? kind of ?? but not in like an aggressive way u know just a kind of bitter, i know what they did and if they don’t apologize i will not hesitate to complain about it if it is relevant in any way

In a relationship? ha i wish

i tag any of my followers who want to do this !! tag me in it i want to learn more about everyone !!

#this was such a pleasant surprise to see i'd been tagged in it #also seriosuly if people want to do this tag me please i want to see !! #also im listening to car the garden after not listening to them for a few months and WOW i love him i forgot just how much i love him but #if anyone is looking for new music 10/10 recommend him hes a talented guy his music makes me want to cry its beautiful #tag games #p

[translightyagami]

Lawlight (duh) for the ship thing Also, if you're into any of these - Drarry, Malec, Ichiruki, Sakunaru

uhhhh i only know drarry tbh but not well enough for a ship meme dlfajsda sorry. anyway here’s lawlight. 

who is more likely to hurt the other?

they both hurt each other on some level just bc they hv v combative personalities and also they r WATER SIGNS which means they r constantly in a fight over who is more valid. jokes on them tho: they r both unvalid as hell. light will center an entire week around getting back at L for something he did bc he’s basically amy dunne playing the long con all the time. L will hurt light in ways that last. he’ll just come out of nowhere with something like, “maybe it would be better if we hadn’t met” and light will just go quiet. that’s like, a sore spot L will push on if they argue bc he knows light is incredibly insecure abt his standing in L’s life. idk man. they love each other but there’s a lot of stuff they’re working thru and they’re leaving some scars along the way.

who is emotionally stronger?

hm. i think L is. he’s toughened up from all his experiences as the world’s greatest detective and had to deal w a lot more emotional crises than light. when it comes to big setbacks, he’s more likely to take them in stride whereas light is like that post that’s like “i’ll deal with it but you gotta let me be dramatic first.” before anything, he’s gotta scream in his scream jar then he can put those anxieties into the fridge and go back to figuring out his life.

who is physically stronger?

they hv abt the same physical strength. that’s less of a contest between them, altho light does sort of like it when L can lift him up. he’s done the same for L a couple times but its more fun to b carried than to b the carrier. anyway. if ur asking who wins more fights? then i would say that light wins a lot of their brawls bc he’s not afraid to play dirty. he has a sibling, he’s fought these battles many times before. its no rules just right in this house.

who is more likely to break a bone?

light has a lot of sports related injuries but not a lot of broken bones. meanwhile, mr. stays inside all day on my laptop has had three broken bones all from falling down the stairs or slipping on shit. just, like, hold on bc i’m picturing light and L sitting in the urgent care waiting room, both with broken arms bc of a roller skating accident. i don’t know how ppl break bones.

who knows best what to say to upset the other?

see this question and the first question r so close and so the answer is like both of them know each other well enough to hv their fingers poised over a particular emotionally destructive button at all times. i only say L is better at upsetting light bc he’s more willing to go the extra inch of underhandedness. of course, light nvr shows that he’s upset on the outside. no, he remains cool and calm, laughs it off probably, and then goes into the bathroom to hv a full scale meltdown in the dry bathtub. to b fair, that doesn’t happen often. its only during big, BIG arguments.

who is most likely to apologize first after an argument?

oh i don’t think either of them hv apologized once in their whole lives so it was a big step for them to apologize to each other. light caves first, trudging into L’s office with the most pathetic look on his face and being like “i’m sorry i called you a trash bag with arms.” and then L sort of sits there and has an inner conflict for a second before saying, “i’m sorry i told you looked like a kohl’s mannequin but not hot.”

who treats who’s wounds more often?

if their fights ever get too intense and someone gets hurt, its usually L knocking his head against something sharp and light has to like sit him on the toliet so he can fix him up. when he’s administering first aid, light starts to fuss over L and makes a lot of concerned noises.

“that hurts.” L squirms as light gives him stitches. “don’t pull too hard.”

“relax.” light says. “i’m actually quite good at this.”

(will i ever stop quoting that one line? no, i won’t.)

who is in constant need of comfort?

i don’t know abt comfort but light needs a lot of reassurance, both verbal and physical, that L does care abt him. he needs to b assured of his place in the world and in their relationship which L isn’t super great abt doing. but light is usually vocal abt when he needs comfort around L, whomst he rarely hides much of himself from, so its nvr a problem of L just not knowing. he just has no clue how to react.

there’s been a scarce few times when L has needed comfort after a taxing case but light is right there to just sort of, uhhh, hold him. let him make some horrible noises and talk. they try to b there for each other. its something they’re working on.

who gets more jealous?

oh for sure light. he gets flushed w jealousy anytime L shows a little more attention to someone else who could possibly usurp light’s romantic position in L’s life. its not fair. those ppl nvr worked as hard as he did to get L’s attention, to get his love. L thinks its kind of funny and will do shit to make light go green eyed. but that shit stops after they work with a french officer who gets a little too flirty w light and L just like, shuts that down. not so fun to b on the receiving end of that kind of jealousy.

who’s most likely to walk out on the other?

light. he’ll fucking do it at the drop of a hat too, just fucking walk out and not come back for three days. of course, they both think they can handle being separated so neither of them calls the other. but on the third day light’s trying to eat mcdonalds in his car and put a sausage mcmuffin in the hole L’s absence made so he goes to call him but his phone rings and it’s L on the other line like “please come back i forgot how quiet things r when ur not around also if ur at mcdonalds can u get me an apple pie okay thanks i love you.”

who will propose?

dklfsadlsfkj neither of them. they don’t want to get married tbh. i just literally can’t see them ever wanting to get married. if ur gonna put a gun to my head abt it tho, i would probably say light does but its only bc his mom started a campaign to get him to make an honest man out of L.

who has the most difficult parents?

um. i mean i guess light’s parents r more difficult. its not that they’re difficult tbh its more like they’re still adjusting to the life their son decided to lead bc its waaayyy different than what they thought was gonna happen. like first he’s gay (which isn’t a huge surprise to them like they’ve seen queer eye for the straight guy. they know things.) and then he’s dating some 24 yr old reclusive detective that happens to hv been soichiro’s boss for like a couple months and now light just sort of solves crimes w his boyfriend. so they’re being supportive but they’re also a little bit confused so sometimes it ends up in awkward situations where everyone’s at the dinner table and sachiko is like “so. what do your parents do, L?” and L is like “i don’t know who my parents were. i think they’re dead.” and she’s like, “oh. hm. well. that must b rlly rough for you.” meanwhile light is p much eating his napkin so he doesn’t start screaming at how little control he has over this shitty conversation.

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public?

they r rarely in public but uh. light does. he’s getting used to being out and part of him just rlly enjoys the physical evidence of their relationship that hand holding provides. that closet was so suffocating. it’s time to let those hands breath a little.

who comes up for the other all the time?

i still don’t entirely understand what this means entirely but i’ll take my best stab at it. i think L comes up for light a lot, esp if he’s talking to like the wammies or literally anyone who isn’t light himself or his family. like, p much everyone is like “but.....he’s kira???” and L is like “look. listen. i don’t know why but he’s. he’s rlly important to me. so its maybe better if we don’t shit talk the guy who sucks my dick? at least not rn.” he doesn’t do it v often bc usually the insults thrown toward light r well deserved but sometimes he does. light doesn’t come up for L like ever. he nvr talks to anyone abt L. whomst would he tell? yamamoto? secretly he goes on a couple message boards tho and send mean anon messages to ppl talking shit abt L but that’s as close as he gets.

who hogs the blankets?

L will b wrapped in a big old blanket bundle like that picture of homer simpson where he’s like “ah. i’m just a big cozy cinnamon bun.” light’s like curled up on his side of the bed w just the sheet but then L reaches over and drags him into the blanket bundle so they r both toasty cinnamon buns together.

who gets more sad?

L is more prone to bouts of depression and can get lethargic if something hits him the wrong way. the first few times it happened, light tried to shake it out of him but he’s learned since then that he’s just gotta ride this shit out. so for a few days or weeks, he’s just got a sad boyfriend so they watch a lot of netflix and don’t get a ton of work done.

light v rarely gets sad. he’s got a v positive outlook on life and doesn’t let a lot of stuff ruin his mood. but when he is sad, its like a big event and he’s crying in the dry tub in just his briefs and a sweatshirt while listening to sufjan on repeat. look. he’s just gotta get it out of his system and then he’ll b fine!

who is better at cheering the other up?

light is better at finding stuff to cheer L up. if L is in a funk, he’ll go search for a good case or an interesting lead so he can present it to him like a cat dropping a mouse in front of him. L is.....not so good at cheering light up. all he knows is how to piss him off. but after a while he starts to puzzle out that light flourishes under praise so he’ll try to keep telling him what a good job he’s doing.

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

i said this in my mikami/light post but uh, light laughing is so uproarious that he just. whacks the person making him laugh on the back super hard. L doesn’t do anything the first time but the second time he grabs light by the wrist and is like “don’t. control ur self, u loud scream laughing monster.” light keeps his hands to himself when he laughs after that. he’s actually quite embarrassed of his natural laugh bc it is so obnoxious so he often tones it down but sometimes!!! shit’s just too funny!!!

who is more streetwise?

neither of these two know a god damn thing abt the streets. ok, L knows a little bit but he forgot it after building a giant fucking building for one investigation team of like six ppl.

who is more wise?

L knows more abt the world and has more experience than light does. he’s not quite wise?? but he’s definitely more knowledgeable and it smacks him in the face a lot how super young light is. how much he just doesn’t know. but L’s only in his mid twenties. what the fuck does he rlly know?

who’s the shyest?

mmm. they aren’t shy ppl by nature so i’d say neither of them. esp when they’re together. combining their levels of pure confidence is like putting a fire in a room with more fire; it just increases the amount of fire. as their relationship progresses, they get more assertive w each other and idk man. they just don’t do that shy shit.

who boasts about the other more? 

mmmm. i don’t think they brag abt each other a lot but i think light kind of wants to brag abt being w L. i mean, he didn’t think it would happen but then L did come and want to start something with him and its like?? wrow. but he doesn’t rlly hv anyone to brag to so he just sort of lets it sit like a smoldering piece of coal in his stomach, keeping him warm. L exculsively brags abt light during video conferences w the wammies like “MY PARTNER, WHO IS A GENIUS AND V ATTRACTIVE, AND I, WHO IS DATING THIS ATTRACTIVE GENIUS, HV FOUND A CLUE” and like everyone rolls their eyes like “dude u told us the same shit last week like please please please stop telling us abt ur hot boyfriend.”

who sits on who’s lap?

light!!! sits!!! on L’s lap!!!! all the time!!! he curls up in there like a cat and plays w L’s hair.

“am i making it hard to do ur work?” he asks, fingers scratching on L’s scalp.

“yes. but that’s okay. light shouldn’t move.”

so he doesn’t and just falls asleep there, hand on the back of L’s neck and drooling on his shoulder. its cute in like an ugly way.

#death note #dslafjskdjfhaskjfh this is so LONG #why do i take so much time w these like c'mon dude #u got other shit to do #:/ #devilcornflakes

[catastrothicc]

when will i learn to write an intro post

hello friens my name is kit im 19 and i use them/they pronouns. i love the color GREEN as u can tell and im a cancer ..... i literally don’t kno who i am besides that so ! ey letz gO  .... oh yea my timezone is mdt .  bu ckle . ... .. . u p

fiRST we have rocky whomst some of  u kNO bc he was That guy in paracosms anD created by the m ost crea tive  admins iv’e ever seEN i got blessedt 2 play him and to play him agAIN in literally the most mentally straining au for any character .... paracosms verse ! x 

i previously made an intro post for him here so i’m just gonna link it and walk away .. .. .... also his stats page still lives here !!! keeping in mind that he is no longer a drug ring leader ..... he recently discovered that his wHOLE LIFE is a LIE and that he’s a helpless robot stuck in hell with a bunch of other robots who want 2 murder him and every(robot)body he loves 

find his pinterest board here , someday a whole ass playlist too

neXT we have minjae ... he’s my oldest character in this batch but that doesn’t mean i especially love him .... just means i’ve made him suffer the longest .... . . . tw: child abuse ( pinterest board , playlist 1 , playlist 2 )

minjae is in the main verse ! find him bullshitting through college and b-boying in the camden streets 

he’s twenty-one and a virgo , born in busan , south korea 

he found his way to london when his parents sent him away to study abroad highkey because that’s a big fancy thing in korea they can brag about and lowkey to get rid of him for as long as they can 

his relationship with his family is ..... interestingly strained . his parents WON’T admit that he’s tiring as hell to deal with and how much stress he causes because they try their best to be supporting/loving parents but honestly minjae KNOWS how much they just wISH he was fucking gONE from their lives ( okay maybe not THAT intense but things rlly blow up in his head ) but he doesn’t even worry about it he just deals with the fact that he’s a terrible son

he was diagnosed with odd when he was eight years old, after his mom got tired and increasingly concerned with his disruptive and violent behavior

a few years prior , minjae’s biological dad left them and his mom kind of took it upon herself to try and make it up to him . that meant she was always careful around him and treated him as if he was fragile because minjae felt some blame that his dad left . 

his biological dad did Not have any patience for his kid’s mental health , meaning he and minjae would fight often to the point of getting physical . basically minjae endured a lot of getting locked up in the bathroom kicking and screaming until his voice grew hoarse and the occasional ..... bad beatings .

he went to therapy with his mom for two years before entering middle school , around the time his mom remarried a nice guy who had the patience of a saint when it came to minjae , even after he repeatedly rejected him as a part of their life . eventually minjae managed to warm up to him ..... he just didn’t wanna admit he was afraid he’d abandon them like his bio dad . 

despite the therapy he was still unstable and got into frequent fights . he was smart but he didn’t put it into any good use because he would rather fool around and disrupt the classroom at any slight chance . teachers .... hated this fuckass 

theN high school !! A Whole Mess ..... he got worse and worse , and it wasn’t until he got expelled from his Second high school that he went back to therapy for anger management . 

after months of sessions w/ his therapist he was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder , which honestly explained Everything about his life . it explained his massive issues with interpersonal relationships , massive abandonment fear , massive moodiness , massive personality contradictions .... everythin g

he started b-boying because it was a way to push himself and let go of the anger without picking a fight with someone else ( altho he StilL picked the occasional fight .... highkey still does ) but he loved the control that came with dancing and how it hurt to push his body 

he managed to graduate despite what everyone thought ..... and even a bigger surprise is that he went to college majoring in math ..... and an evEN BIGGER SURPRISE is that he went overseas to study which is like ..... quite a difficult and impressive thing to do ..... tho minjae just finds math the easiest out of academic studies bc “all u need to do is understand and follow a formula” 

anYWAYS so his personality is generally very contradictory . he just has no fucking idea who he even is . thESE are from an old intro that i’m just putting here bc still tru:

being delusional w/ infatuation/love to the point of a fault vs running away when things actually start to go right with someone because of his fear of being abandoned by them

being so afraid of abandonment that he can’t stand being alone, always needs to be communicating with someone vs pushing people away when he feels like he’s getting attached because he’s afraid of abandonment 

swinging between being horny all the time and being sex repulsed

intense mood swings !!! having the time of his life one hour and wishing he was dead the next

thinks he’s the best vs loathes his entire being

wants everyone to love him vs thinking he deserves being alone

incredibly charming and talkative vs distant and moody

loving/cuddly/goofy vs jealous/purposely mean/bossy 

also never tell him its ok to text u bc he’ll give u notifications from Hell

dhwani mishra !!! honestly Bae . i’ve had her in my head for mONTHs and this is only the second time i play her rip . anyways say hello to this Hot Mom. tw: abuse , brief abortion mention 

dhwani is from chicago , she’s 36 and a leo .... literally The Whole SUN

she grew up w/ a generally large family . two parents , three sisters and a brother . it was a full house that often became suffocating but she managed to survive her childhood and teenhood . 

she’s extremely close with all her fam except her dad , bc they have always disagreed in almost everything and it’s just ..... awkward to be around him ?? she honestly doesn’t respect him much , even if she would never show him/tell him that . her dad had an abusive past w/ her mom , and dhwani still feels a lot of resentment that he would ever lay his hands on her in a violent way and mistreat her despite being the mother of his children . when she was a teenager , she would tell her mom to just divorce him but her mom was in a very toxic/old mentality and believed she would ruin her family and her children’s life if she did that . 

probably nobody cared about this as much as dhwani .... she promised herself she’d NEVER allow someone to do what her dad did to her mom and was honestly so defensive with guys . little did she kno it was the lesbian raging inside her . 

so because she had no idea what a lesbian was or that it was a possibility bc her household was not the type to really go into the topic of sex at all , she eventually got into a relationship with a guy in high school that she could actually put up with .... and got really disappointed when she was finally ‘ in love ’ because of how underwhelming it all was . her dreams about finding ‘ the one ’ were absolutely gone . she was like wtf why are people making such a big deal out of love when it feels like ...... kind of nothing ?? 

she became pregnant with his child which was completely unplanned and was such a huge turn in her life that she never ever expected . all this time she had been driven to start a career in chemistry and family would come way wayyy later , however she did Not want to give up her child ..... she was so torn about it but now she thinks not getting an abortion was the best decision of her life bc her little boy , one of her two little suns was brought into the world . 

she paused her career to raise him w/ her now husband when she was 29 , and three years later became pregnant again , this time w/ her second sun , an adorable lil baby girl . things were already going downhill in her marriage before she got pregnant again , though , and she stupidly thought that maybe another child would help them but ... wrong ! her husband , the man she thought she loved , was turning out to be exactly like her father . she put up w/ him for as long as she could .... but it did just not work out . when her daughter was two and her son five , she divorced him and someway or another managed to pick up her career again . 

she moved out with her kids into a small apartment , struggling with money and having to ask her parents for aid which wasn’t rlly good for her pride , despite that she and her mom were like best friends .

sHE made it to london by pure will after juggling her two children and working as a high school teacher , though when she got an offer to teach as a professor in a university w/ heR OWN LAB AND RESEARCH TEAM she could Not pass it up . the only problem was tht this job was across the ocean , and away from her family and everything she and her children knew . 

still , she saw a brighter future , not only for herself but especially for her kids , so she packed up and said goodbye to the states . 

she’s been teaching in soho for two years now and she still hasn’t really adjusted . it’s obviously a very different life than the one she had in chicago , but she’s very determined to make it work . also she’s recently discovering her repressed inner lesbian so hmu for plots !!! ;))) 

shE’S a chemistry professor so ... @ any student connections hmu ... also any students whomst want 2 be on her research team A++ 

pERSONALity wise .... she’s a mess . she’s very lively and warm and inviting , but she is also extremely stubborn and unrestrained . you don’t agree w/ something she does ? Suck It . you have a stupid opinion ? Time to let u kno how absolutely wrong u are . she is NOT afraid of a fight . also she’s v scatterbrained .... there is so much on her schedule that she can barely keep up w/ so she’s never like ... calm . always going somewhere , always pacing places , chugging her coffee , carrying 789479 folders and books everywhere . 

hER class is pretty much this vine 

probably one of the least chill professors on campus in the best way possible . she’s so excited about chemistry and teaching her students . altho she is lenient and understanding she can also b strict af and doesn’t allow her kindness to b taken advantage of . rlly good at drawing lines . 

also her children are her whole world and she loves to brag about them ... since she doesn’t get enough time w/ them at home she sometimes takes them to her lab on campus or they’re there being a mess during her office hours and stressing her out but she’s 2 fond of them to leave them w/ their babysitter . 

oK so here is her v incomplete pinterest board ... expect a playlist Soon 

lAST BUT NOT LEAST is santana !!! he is ... a solid trip . this is my first time playing him so i’m puMPED and expecting the worst of him fhuidshfiusdhg. tw: drug use , abuse , alcoholism 

he is 23 , a Cancer , n from LA california like that red hot chili peppers song(s)

his childhood wasn’t chill at all . he grew up with four sisters and three brothers , so his parents never really had time for all of them individually . they were always kind of lumped together despite the differences in age . santana was one of the middle children so he got evEN LESS attention . 

he honestly does not understand what his parents were thinking when they had EIGHT whole kids , because they were poor as shit . they lived in a tiny house with three bedrooms and two bathrooms , where all the girls would be in 1 room , the boys in the other , and their parents in th third one . you could Not catch a moment of peace in this household . they basically lived on top of each other .

his older siblings were very bad influences , and so were his parents . it was all tough love , so he barely received any kindness or special treatment and had 2 go to school even if he was dying w/ the flu and got hit Bad when he acted out even a little bit bc his parents were Not about to deal w/ any disrespect . he actually pretty much got hit for just existing bc his parents didn’t want dumb kids and santana was failing in Everything at school so his dad especially tried to beat it into him but really he wasn’t dumb he had dyslexia and no one knew or cared enough to find out .

still , they didn’t really respect their children enough to demand their respect . they would cuss all of them tf out and allow them little to no privacy so they all became rEALLY GOOD liars , and all of them learned to have each other’s backs but rlly this only lasted during their childhoods/teenhoods . 

santana started doing really stupid shit during high school and once he got caught stealing wine from a grocery store w/ all his dumb little high school friends whomst were in possession of weed and ended up in juvenile prison for two years until he turned 18 . thEN while he was on parole he didn’t learn his fucking lesson and his parents/family were not supportive At All honestly it’s like they didn’t give 2 shits that he was in juvie they were just like ‘that’s what happens when you’re a goddamn moron’ so santana went out and did it aGAIN bc fuck parental guidance anyways

this time he got caught stealing a whole fucking car and in possession of not only weed but cocaine so he got locked up for 4 long ass years . honestly thought that he wouldn’t make it out but he rlly learned a lot in prison and he was used to getting no privacy anyways and just kinda dealt . the prison system he was stuck in Sucked so bad though like the guards were the Worst and he’d try to stay out of fights but Some Fucker would piss him off and BOOM he’d end up in the hole for a whole week . 

hOWEVER if it wasn’t for being there he would’ve never discovered his passion of art and drawing . he got Really Fucking good bc he had nothing else to do but sit around and try to find anything to pour all of his pent up energy into and drawing happened to be his greatest outlet . would just sit for as long as they let him and draw his time away . 

when he got out he went back to his fam but they were pretty much all split up . shit went Down while he was locked up and somehow his parents ended up w/ a giant grudge on their children and some of his siblings wanted to kill each other while others had just completely moved away to different parts of the states and had absolutely no communication w/ each other . 

santana decided to fuck it and pursue his dreams of being a tattoo artist far from LA and just decided to move to a different country entirely . 

Now u can find him giving tattoos in his apartment bc he doesn’t have enough $$$ to get a studio and while he Is training under a professional he’s not getting paid by them so he needs to make money somehow . it’s a secret that he’s tattooing when he’s not supposed to tho . Fuck the law . 

personality !!!! he’s basically .... very chill .... perhaps 2 chill .... 

even tho drugs got him some bad time in prison he hasn’t left them . still very 420 friendly and occasionally does the hard stuff . also loves 2 drink and party . 

he’s irresponsible !!!! he feels like he lost a lot of his life in prison so he’s trying to make up for it and while he’s being more careful ..... he still loves 2 fuck shit up .

he gets way too comfortable around people way too easily . he thinks this is a trait he picked up in jail bc he rlly had no other option but to shower with a bunch of dudes and shit out in the open , so he’s very comfortable with his body and being in the nude in general . also a touchy guy , likes cuddles and appreciates hugs . random meaningless touches are a Habit . 

he loves to hang and do whatever so if ur his friend chances are tht he’s hitting u up 24/7 to go do something . biggest extrovert there is . does not get tired of being in public / around people . also p flirty and gay as hell . 

sO find his pinterest board here and i’m also in the process of finishing a playlist for him hopefully soon 

thAT WOULD BE ALL FOR NOW !!! hmu and feel free to add me on discord ( a whole silly boy#2690 , kít (catastrothicc) in the group chat ) for plots and such !!! 

#smoke:intros #smoke:ooc #⦁ — › OwO ᴡʜᴀᴛ's ᴛʜɪs? — ⌜ ᴏᴏᴄ ⌟ #( #fiNALL Y ) #( im srry it took this long ) #( what was the build up it suCKS ANYWAYS ) #( also ........ im not ashamed of an anime mascot ) #( HFUISDHFIUSDHGIUH ) #( i LOVE an angry boy )

[homestucky]

ok time to do a sort of a vent post  which i may regret and delete but i got lotso thoughts

i been doin a lot of my classic Lindsaylohac Self Indulgent Navel Gazing(TM) because obviously, 

and anyways in this time i been trying to figure myself out a bit. ive probably already ranted about this but anyways. im kind of feeling like maybe im aromantic and asexual altho im still not 100% but its just rlly made me have some interesting revelations

and i know theres a lot of discourse atm about ace stuff and honestly im not commenting on any of that (for one thing its not like theres one big idea being debated there, from what i can see theres loads of different questions and issues so i dont know how people can take such confident stances... seems like theres no clear cut like “sides” so to speak, just like........... a big mess)

ANYWAYS

im kind of freaked out by it all, just because i feel like ive just sort of realised how much about attraction that i never knew because no one ever explains it because youre meant to just feel it at some point and thats how you know BUT I DONT KNOW and i need someone to tell me because i dont understand it and i only recently realised how badly i dont understand it like ive been on forums with a bunch of aroace people and we were all being like ‘woa guys i just found out that romantic feelings are meant to feel DIFFERENT to friendship, guess i might be aro too lol’ and a bunch of other people responding like wait WHAT is that how its meant to feel????? nobody ever told me that!!! 

and i just

hhh

at the moment theres a bit of tumblr content making fun of ace people a little like people saying that being on the ace spectrum doesnt exist because thats just called ‘not sleeping with everyone you see lol’ and other stuff but like this is legit.. this is different to ‘having standards’ or ‘waiting for the right person’ or any decision like that.. this feels at least at the moment like im built to have zero comprehension for anything involving relationships or attraction. it feels like a rlly important distinction to me. like its not a choice im making.. i feel colour blind

dont get me wrong i know i am a privileged person in a lot of ways. and while i dont think i feel like i can call myself het, im not about to try and muscle in on the lgbt community, or attempt use that as a get out of jail free card so i can.. like, hide ignorance or prejudice behind ‘im not het, so i cant be problematic!’. and im certainly not about to start saying im being oppressed by gay ppl or something stupid like that, im not. first and foremost when it comes to sexuality n identity politics i want to listen and to be a good ally because my sexuality doesnt have prejudice against it directly as much as it just isnt really discussed. which has its own problems sure, but ykno. 

i wuld kind of dig it if asexuality and aromanticism were more widely talked abt or represented at least so people know what it is in case thats what they are because obviously a) its just nice to see but mainly b) i and many other people like me im sure have gotten myself into situations or almost gotten myself into situations because i didnt understand them or didnt understand that what i was feeling wasnt ‘feelings’. because otherwise u can just sort of.. end up doing what you think a ‘normal’ person would do. and it sort of sucks and is confusing

nd by representation i do NOT mean white men who are depicted as highly intellectual, cold, alien, or robotic, who’ve like, ‘deleted’ sexuality for efficiency, but then always ALWAYS still end up somehow having an implied relationship with ONE SPECIAL WOMAN because shes just SO SPECIAL he has to make an exception because thats nothing. thats useless. stop.

so basically in conclusion heternormativity sucks for everyone and i want it to be destroyed

#sorry abt this.................... idk #these are just some thoughts and experienced sorry if any of them are dumb or wrong idk dm or something if so #personal %$& /