#also when all you have is to misgender someone. come on.

[chqnified]

People picking arguments with me over disliking the blackpink fandom literally proves me point. 90% of you are assholes. Bye.

#just say you hate blackpink. secretly hating on us #i was told #oh hunny. i had a fan account for bp before you turned 5. #i could show you posts from YEARS ago on my bp phase. i can show you albums of theirs i have on my shelf rn #like babes. blinks suck. and you're personally proving it once again. #10% are cool. mainly because maybe they are the original fandom in their late teens / twenties #the 12 year olds™ are unbearable #i can say that here without getting death threats because 12 year olds don't know Tumblr exists #thank god #to top it all off. one misgendered me so i was like hunny. he/him #she said 'idc i call everyone girl' #so i said. you want to be careful because that's transphobic #also. stays. being the queerest and gender queer kpop fandom seemed to feel personally attacked too #safe to say. i don't think she'll survive #you can disagree sure. but these people just have no good reasoned opinions or reasonings #also when all you have is to misgender someone. come on.

[pansyfemme]

did anyone actually have ‘kink related pronouns’ in 2020 or was that some more shit people made up to get mad at. baffling, really.

#remember having a convo about my brother once (when he was still leaving his transmed phase meanwhile i was like knee deep into trender #positive tumblr and genderfreak shit in 2018) #and like he was finally coming around to neopronouns but said he’d never call someone anything ‘sex related’ and i was like. sorry what #i think he saw it on tiktok or something but he seemed to think that sometimes people used neopronouns as a kink #and its like. i mean you can use any pronouns as a kink. theres whole fetishes about misgendering and force gendering. but like also #sometimes a bitch wants to be called kittenself and its not a sex thing at all. like i dont agree that this is a widespread issue with #neopronoun users but if it was i honestly would find it more interesting than offputting #i dont rlly care WHY someone is using a pronoun set im gonna use it yknow?

[faggy--butch]

sorry to ramble in your inbox but its kinda fucking me up how "trans man with a cishet boyfriend who misgenders him behind his back" is like seen to be a person to make fun of in the general queer tumblr space instead of a person who is in a vulnerable situation. i know that there is trans men who are also women and there are trans men who are genuinely okay with dating a cis man who considers himself straight but people talking about these hypothetical couples arent talking about these situations but rather about "haha stupid trans man doesnt realize hes dating a bigot"

theres this attitude that the hypothetical cishet boyfriend is actually a conservative so it should be obvious to trans man that he doesnt respect his identity but i feel like its less "oh its obvious that this specific man is a bigot" and more "obviously cishet white men are bigots" and its weird how people laugh at this person instead of acknowledging that even if you are dating a bigot its usually not a big win for you personally. like the bigot cishet boyfriend isnt going to be okay with his trans man boyfriend starting testosterone. like we can sympathize with emotional abuse happening towards other groups but when its gay and mspec trans men its like "oh he should have known that would happen" or "its his fault for dating a bigot"?

of course people have the same making fun of the victim narrative with afab nonbinary people who date cishet men who misgender them [and im sure this bleeds over to affecting all nonbinary people if people arbitrarily decide theyre afab if the nonbinary person refuses to tell them personal information about themselves but the larger narrative always specifies that this is an afab person] and its almost like a "this is what you get for being attracted to men" sort of thing.

and also i theres something to be said about warning people for signs their partner or potential partner doesnt respect their identity but considering i imagine its a common anxiety among trans and nonbinary people who are into that sorta thing to wonder "am i ever going to find someone who loves me and is also accepting of me for being [insert gender here]?" its sort of fucked up for it to be common to basically claim "yea if youre dating a cis man who said he was straight before he started dating you but says he respects your identity hes probably just straight up lying to your face" and then laugh at the person getting misgendered for not knowing they were being misgendered.

anyway sorry for this big ramble i cant even remember specific instances of this to reference so i might seem like im making up a guy to be mad at but i swear this is like a general attitude and almost running joke i see around. anyway. have a good day.

I absolutely see that too, and I think it's a mixture of straight up victim blaming, because oh noo how dare you WANT to date *gasp* cis men

but it come with an intense transandrophobia and exorsexism because there's a lot more sympathy when it comes to cis women dating cishet men "poor things uwu" but when it's trans men or in this case non binary people assumed to be women, it's always "see I told you so" smug superiority. (cis women get this too, because of misogyny obviously, but it's different and worse for trans men) People are just waiting for a chance to be misogynistic and trans men are an acceptable target. This is honestly extra fucked up when we remember that trans men experience some of the highest rates of domestic violence and rape in the community though.

being trans is such a vulnerable place to be in, and a lot of people, trans or not are insecure or just want to be loved, that's normal. A lot of people are willing to accept certain behaviors from their partners that are bad, because of those reasons as well, victim blaming, and ESPECIALLy telling trans men to toughen up or "what did you expect" is apart of the toxic expectations that get placed of trans men as well. I could honestly go on for hours about this. good ask,anon

#transandrophobia #asks

[thelordfool]

HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!

Long story short: I'm unemployed and will not, unlike what I originally thought, qualify for unemployment benefits.

Please read the readmore for additional context on why I'm unemployed. This post is basically a continuation/update/redo of this post. I'm suffering a sickness with no medicine the past week, applied for almost 100 jobs the last two weeks, am disabled/queer/nonbinary/tired of ebegging. I'm also in the negatives in my bank account because my car payment came out, so I need to get that covered.

pp/vm/ca

$250/$1151.51

i need at least $511.51 of this by the first. please spread if you're financially unable to help, every person this reaches helps! here's the breakdown of the costs: $640 - car payment + late fees $380 - rent $131.51 - negative amount in bank currently

Oh hey thanks for stopping by to read this annoying tale of woe and being angry at capitalism. Prepare for wall of text.

I once had two jobs. The first job, at a chain restaurant, was a bit of a clique-y experience where I was working my damndest to be the best bartender they ever had. I still have all the cocktails memorized. However, I continually faced discrimination in the form of severe misgendering, no matter how often I corrected them. I was also set up for failure. Usually, when someone gets hired for a position, there's some amount of training to be done, no matter how experienced they are, right? I was going in nearly entirely inexperienced into the role. I knew how to make cocktails, sure, and was and still am very good with people and selling. But I was trained for two days. Two. Then, on my first night alone (a Friday), I was watched by one of the bigwigs at corporate who saw every little flub and failure. This caused a demotion-ish. I was demoted to barback but was allowed the same privileges. Until their next visit. That upset the hell out of me - I was well trained by that point and could do it all, with one hand tied behind my back. I digress. It was about 2 months following my demotion when i finally walked out. A new bartender had been hired and she thought I was being a total creep by looking at a ticket that had just come in. She stormed off to report me to the manager who, even after hearing my side where I had asked her if there was anything on the ticket that I could grab, said that I "needed to communicate better," and "you should be learning from her," and "you're a grown man, you should know better." I don't think I need to explain why that was so upsetting.

But I didn't report them, because I just wanted to be done with it. I was also working another bartending job, and everythign was literally perfect other than the hours, honestly. I loved the product the distillery made, I loved the people I worked with, and most of all: I had my own regulars. Last month, they hired a new hospitality director, who announced there would be some restructuring, including getting rid of servers while also making a full dinner menu to serve alongside drinks. I said nothing of it, despite my disagreements, and she assured us all that no one would lose their jobs, but just moved into different roles. We all kinda grumbled about it, and I told her that under no circumstances would I work back of house. Easy peasy. Till it wasn't, and I came home to a voicemail while on break with my partner that I'd been let go due to the restructuring. So much for no one losing their jobs, right? I hadn't been the only victim of this. I have my suspicions as to why the new hospitality director did these things, but I've no energy to throw around conspiracies. All I know is that I was shafted by both of these places and I'm tired of being broke. I'm applying, still going to fight, and... sigh.

tl;dr (why did you click the readmore?): i left a job due to discrimination and lost another due to company restructuring and i'm tired and sad and aaaaa.

[tocomplainfriend]

VIV is constantly criticized by her own fault.

TW: Mention of: SA, Rape, Transphobia, fat phobia, Antiblackness.

(Hey, i'mma probably do a post eventually about episode 4. Btw, awfully shit, worse than I thought it could be... BIG TW OF R-PE AND SA IF YOU'RE GOING TO SEE IT. AND TW of the minimization of those topics too.)

(SORRY FOR BAD ENGLISH IN THIS POST TOO)

BUT I NEED TO CALL ATTENTION TO THIS! One of the reasons I criticize a lot of Viv specifically is because of how much she puts herself out there. She sees something she posts on Twitter about it a shit ton (even on "threads" lol). AND because of how lacking of improvement she has being. (I personally know people I have considered terrible when we were teens, but I have seen legit improvement from them in recent years. They seem like people who struggle, but got to grow up and made up for any problems (or pain caused to me or others). People have the ability to change and become better. Something that matters at pointing out issues or discussing-is the idea of creating change on others. It is better to get someone to change for the better than to cast them into the forever jail of nothingness (unless, IDK, they Sexually Assaulted someone, for example). Specially when they are young people. Doesn't mean YOU have to stick with other people that hurt you, no. Doesn't mean people get to do what ever and get away with it.

BUT All of this problem I have seen from Viv are from age 19-30. (you can change at anytime btw) And see constantly repeats herself and her actions. Seems to have never accepted criticism (said by herself too), and never able to see her own faults. The fact that is a continuous behavior is a problem, how she always responds is awful. My post of "Viv has being transphobic for 10 years", was to signal that. If she really had changed over those 10 years to a genuine thing- I could've taken that! But no, the shitty double standard against trans men... the weird treatment. THE MANY STORIES OF EMPLOYEES GETTING MISGENDERED HEAVILY, TOO.

(I know people who were transphobic [When they were teens mainly], that Genuinely improved and changed their beliefs. Now they treat trans people with respect and care! And still learning about gender-fluid people, too!)

It just seems to be further and further away from getting better! The fact that she only decides to take in account voices from SA victims that agree with her- it's painful as a victim, my self!

And yes, people who sent gore or dumbass shit to Viv (or the team) don't help. And go get help why you're looking and sending Gore to anyone. (Also, stuff like this does lead to people not listening to others people genuine callouts). The fact that I criticize something doesn't mean I agree with the people that go and do shit like the thing I just mention above.

AND ALSO A IMPORTANT THING HERE!

This drawing was created by DollCreep. BUT ALSO FUCKING REMEMBER this was done in response to the shit that Viv drew of him.

If you didn't know Viv drew a transphobic caricature of DollCreep using the name Jojo (his old nickname). This put together with a shitty anti-sjw meme video. DollCreep is a transman, Viv drew a character based on him. A furry wolf girl, If you can see in the image the main thing listed below the character name is the fucking "Sex=♀️". SO ON PURPOSE, CHRIST. Like... AND YES-is shitty from both to have drawn this (even if it was in respond) mainly immature in DC part. But that, or any toxicity coming from DC, doesn't delete the transphobia here. (imagine drawing a racist caricature of a poc person, because they are shitty to you). THE POST LINKED ABOVE SHOWS THE SITUATION, and in the end of the day. Viv says that DC is an abusive shitty person to her, but never realizing her own faults or anything she could'be possibly done wrong! (and again, any wrong done by DC in general can not be deleted by the fact of having being treated badly. If he did shitty stuff himself, that doesn't delete the wrong done in general to him or to others by viv)

Here about transphobia:

(this is like 8yrs old too)

Again, she never acknowledges anything that she might have done wrong. "She is a thoughtful person, that wants tor write queer and disabled characters! She wants to tell empowering stories of..." It doesn't even feel close to that when people bring up actual problems in her writing that are stereotyping or bad, and she just yells and cries. It all feels like empty sticks she is only interested in in the surface level, she doesn't want to actually deal with.

When she says "This characters is black guys ♡♡♡" and then the fucking 7th, a grayish character with zero black features. She can not actually try and draw a black person with a different hair texture, she'll faith is hair isn't straight and spiky (has done this so much too). She is all for positivity and diversity (can not draw more than 1 character that isn't a fucking stick with the same stupid face).

She can not write relationships in general. She cannot do gay couples, then don't lean on the stupid old uke uwu defenceless x big rough seme protector stuff. Again, all the interactions with Husk and Angel are sexual harassment. They are already a revealed future couple (and episode 4 is terrible for them, specially with that song). Stolitz is toxic, and predatory. That is not acknowledged, and all Stolas's predatory behavior and power dynamics are put in the background, cause- "look how sad Stolas is :(! HIS DAD IS SOOO MEAN, HIS WIFE IS A BITCH". All her gay characters are in pure surface: over-sexual twinks that are assholes, which also fit into the top/bottom as personality boxes.

Any other point includes sexual harassment as a joke. BUT KNOW SHE WANTS TO BE LIKE "GUYS SA STORIES MATTER, LOOK AT WHAT I WROTE" as if she didn't lean back into the problem of the diminishing of SA and r- (in general and done to men) with her jokes in HB. With all the sexual harassment that Angel Dust puts on Husk and others. (AND YES THERE IS NO WARNING IN EPISODE 4, FOR ITS HEAVY TOPICS! I do believe all series/movies with this need it. SPECIALLY IF IT'S SO GRAPHIC! "Sexual content" is not the same as a warning for SA or R-pe. An adult can see a movie with sex or sexual nutidy- when they see that- but it's different to get straight assault on screen. Victims can watch movies/series with sex in them all good, you cannot just group consensual sex in the same assault or R-pe...)

The thing where Mammon (the only fat character that isn’t from the fucking background.) is like FIZZ YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT. AS IF SHE COULD EVEN DRAW ANY DIFFERENT BODY SHAPE WITHOUT DYING. Like there is only Mimzy (hasn't appeared yet, not given any importance. In the female lead show). Mammon the piece of shit (does the same as Blitz, but he is actually fully bad.) His design is done with 80 fucking layers on top. Like all the test of the skinny character's clothes suck up to their body except for Mammon. His body is hidden in layers upon layers of clothing (that's all you got?). All you main guys need to fill "the skinny have nothing men" and "skinny woman with big hips and legs, but no fucking stomach"?

AND YES! VIV DOES DO THE FUCKING, "FAT = FOOD LMAOOO". You know the thing HH fans and hater where like the "Bee needs to fat thing is bad, cause of fat = food (only food) is reductive and shitty"

(Can I refer to how the show Bojack H, make Diane gain weight cause of anti depressants- and it wasn't a joke! And she was happier too?)

(mine, from post right below)

... like is a bundle of issues. And Viv will never accept that she might be /or is wrong. That's why it hits the fan with stuff. -And again I liked many of the little concepts and stuff in HB and the original pilot of Hazbin. Shit- I still like Sir Pentious and Nifty. I do like Mammon as much as he is a pack of problems to call out, I fucking love the piece of shit Australian jester- The artist work hard on it, and I'm happy it's an openly queer! (as limited as it gets, too....). I liked Huni-cast, I loved the original voice cast! -and that happens! I could be writing this about other stuff too, not only Hazbin... if I created this blog earlier- IT WOULD ALL BE ABOUT RWBY, DANGANRONPA, even svtfoe...Ladybug... or Agretsuko's ending too. So yeah, sorry for the long post (as if all my post weren't)

#vivziepop critique #vivziepop critical #helluva boss criticism #helluva boss critique #helluva boss critical #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel critique #anti vivziepop #long post #tw rape #tw sa #tw transphobes #tw transfobia #tw fatphobia #tw antiblackness

[ms-demeanor]

hello! sorry to bother w this but im sort of desperate at this point. given your post about school abuse: so like. i had a similar experience and i thought that i had sorted my brain out. BUT. big but. now im trans and every time i have to correct people w/ misgender or come out to people that i dont already know their opinion on the issue, i get an anxiety attack that makes me unable to do it. ive told many therapists and no one so far has understood why im terrified of making stuff that other people can perceive as me being difficult to work with. would you have *any* advice? thanks!

Okay so first of all it is totally valid to feel that way; that isn't an irrational response, that is your body and brain going "!!!! I have learned this lesson before!" But just because it's a sensible response doesn't mean it's functional in the long term, which is why it needs to be addressed (which I'm sure you already know, I'm just explaining for people in the back).

So now here is some meandering advice:

Spend time with people you already know you can trust. It's okay to take a break from new people and situations (as much as is possible) when you are processing traumatic events and learning to care for yourself. Spending time with people who you don't have to come out to, who don't misgender you, can help you normalize being out and correctly gendered to yourself.

Recognize that you don't have to be out to everyone and some assholes aren't worth it. This is going to depend some on the context, but you don't owe everybody an explanation for yourself and if people repeatedly misgender you after being corrected you may just be better off not spending time around those people.

Loop in trusted people in low-stakes ways. If you get the sense that someone who you think is pretty safe has misgendered you on accident, it might still feel too intimidating to correct them in person but it might be a good idea to follow up with text or a call or a message to say "hey, just FYI, I think I heard you use a/b pronouns for me earlier, I just wanted to let you know that I use c/d pronouns. Did you want to meet up again next week?" the breakdown on why I think this is effective is - Distance means you're safe - nonthreatening "FYI" means you aren't saying "I'm offended" and assumes good faith from the other person - feels less accusatory (not that you need to tone police yourself, but if you're trying to lower the stress level overall then assuming it was a mistake and letting them know you don't think it was on purpose should reduce the overall tension) - request to meet up again or topic switch to something lighter once again says "I'm not mad, that was just regular information, we can now return to our scheduled programming"

I think that, generally speaking, this is also a decent way to come out to people if you're nervous; physically remote and emotionally casual can be a good place to work from (even if you're actually panicking in your head but you can pull off casual in a written message)

Find (or create) a space where people are 100% going to support you. If you need to create a discord server, if you need to schedule a regular coffee date with trusted friends or family members, whatever it is, give yourself a space where you are unconditionally supported and can have people to bounce ideas and concerns off of. Even if it's just you and one other person, it's good to know you have *someone* who you can say "I think I want to tell this other person to use my pronouns but it's scary" to and know that you're not at risk in any way. I'd say try to make sure that you're still interacting with people outside of that space, but have a space to retreat to where you can just drop the worry.

Recognize that somebody else's problem is not a reflection of you. If you have, for instance, a coworker who is being a piece of shit and refusing to recognize your gender, that is not a reflection of your gender that is a reflection of them being a piece of shit. If there is a classmate or a sibling who uses the wrong pronouns after being corrected that doesn't mean you're not entitled to your pronouns that means they are being a piece of shit. Some people are just not going to accept you and that's on them. Try to minimize your time spent with them and if you have to spend time with them at work take steps to ensure your safety, but don't fight losing battles with assholes.

It really is legitimately scary. You have good reasons to be scared and you are doing a very frightening thing (and not to do the meme thing but you are legitimately being so brave about it; the fact that you are reaching out and asking anyone for help, including randos on the internet, means that you are taking steps to doing the scary thing and that is SO GOOD and I'm really proud of you for making the effort in spite of the fear).

Here is some less meandering advice:

Practice. Talk to yourself in the mirror, practice with friends, practice with your therapist. Practice coming out to yourself in a casual way. Practice correcting your pronouns. Practice an introduction for yourself that explains the information you want to give to new people you might meet. Get it down to a quick little patter, get it to be something that's easy to say to yourself in the mirror first, then try it with friends for practice, then try it around the safer people you might want to give the information to. It'll get easier as you go.

Look for a local support group (or an online support group). If there's a local LGBTQ+ center you should see if they've got events going on or a support group you can join or workshops or any manner of social thing where you can go interact with people who have been through similar stuff.

Journal. Each time you find yourself frightened of talking to someone about your gender, do what you need to to get through the day and then sit down and think about that interaction. Write down what happened, write down what you were thinking. Was there something in particular that made you anxious? Is it something you can practice addressing? Was there something you noticed about the person that made you uncomfortable? Is that a common thread in the times you have trouble talking about this? If you're able to narrow down specifically what is making it hard to speak to some people that might make it easier to explain to therapists but will also make it more actionable for you.

Here's some very optimistic advice:

If at all possible find a friend who will be rabid and unflinching in their support for you and hang out with them around new people. Get yourself an attack dog copilot who will cheerfully step up and make corrections for you. I know not everyone can do this and I know that if you can find someone like this they can't be around all the time, but it can be wonderfully reassuring to find that one person who you know is going to be ride or die about making sure that everyone in the room respects you. (Being that person for someone else can also teach you how to be that person for you)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for using my status as an agender person to get a surgery I want although I do not want it for gender-related issues ?

TW : talk of uterus, menstrual cycles and menstrual blood

I'll start by saying this is not the US so please don't make your judgement based on that. I'll describe how things are in my country.

So I (X24) want my uterus removed. The main reason is that I want to be sterilised to stop having so much anxiety about becoming pregnant, which would be a nightmare for me, and I never ever want this to happen again.

But I can't get any other form of sterilisation as then I would keep my uterus, so I would keep my period, and without hormonal treatment it's just not liveable. To give you an idea, my natural cycles are 21 days instead of 28, I get my period for 7 days instead of 5 and it can be hemorrhagic for up to 4 days of these 7. (I used to get post-op medication because of the hemorrhagia before I was under contraception.) And of course I get through excruciating pain every time, beside having iron deficiency among other things. I'm currently trying another hormonal contraception, it's still not going well. There is always something wrong. My first pill just stopped working, the next ones made me gain 20kg, I'm currently trying hormonal IUD and although I don't bleed as much, I bleed for so long and there is so much pain that no available painkillers can block. I'm so tired. I can't imagine going through that for another 15 to 25 years.

In my country, it is written in law that you are allowed to be sterilised using various methods, all of which keep the uterus. Nothing is said for hysterectomy as a sterilisation method. And although many refuse to sterilise you at all, if you find the right surgeon you can be no matter your age. The procedure is also fully reimbursed. Nothing is said in law about hysterectomy.

This means that the vast majority of surgeons won't remove your uterus. Except if you have a pathology related to it or if you're trans (coming back to that later).

So what I described above does look like a uterus with a pathology, right? It certainly looks like endometriosis at least. I went to a surgeon known for doing the other kinds of sterilisation and tried to convince him to just remove my uterus. He refused, not without an asserted pathology. To his credit, he looked for it. He had me take an MRI. Well, they found nothing.

Which means that, although I have a pretty dysfunctional uterus that I never want to use and just keeps causing me problems, he won't remove it. Because they can't find the cause. Even though I feel completely alienated from my body because of that damn organ that keeps trying to make me bear children and will have me bleed out and in pain when I won't allow it.

Then there is the other solution. I said above you could get surgery if you are trans. It's actually a bit more complicated that that. In order to get HRT and gender affirming surgery, you first need to get diagnosed with body dysphoria by a psychiatrist. And then you get a special status in our health system that allows you to get free access to all kinds of things in the medical field (like surgery and HRT) and beyond (like laser depilation).

As I said, I'm agender. They give this status to nonbinary people so my specific flavour of gender (or lack thereof) is not the issue. But I don't have body dysphoria, only social dysphoria. People misgendering me to my face will make me feel horrible but I don't see my body as gendered. My breasts and specifically my uterus are not something that I see as gendered, so they're not something that causes me distress in terms of gender-related issues. Which means as psychiatrist is never going to diagnose me with gender dysphoria as is, and I won't have access to hysterectomy through trans care.

Except if I fake it.

Now, I have no idea if it could even work. If I could even fool someone. But I've been considering trying because I really, really want to get rid of that damn uterus. And technically, I wouldn't be faking my gender identity. Just expanding on my dysphoria. Still, it feels wrong. I wouldn't transition in any other way except removing the uterus. This path doesn't feel like it's mine to take. I feel it would be disrespectful towards actual, dysphoric trans people.

So, what do you say Tumblr ? WIBTA if I tried it anyway ?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[13thdoctorposts]

Sometimes it’s important to know when to let a show go. 

When 13 regenerated into 14 and had her clothes burnt off like a witch on a stake, sending a horrible message about women and gender RTD came out and said he did it to protect David from right wing media. Then the fans defended David coming back and that RTD would address why he had that face and why the clothes also regenerated, although I was upset with 13s regeneration I thought ok I’ll wait and see how this get handles. Because even though I don’t like the real world messaging maybe the in world messaging will be enough to make it ok.

But then what happens? We get a trans story for the very first story with very positive messaging for trans issues which is great but undermined by the fact RTD wanted to protect David from gender critiques by the right wing but didn’t seem to want to protect Yasmin Finney. So first David can’t wear Jodies costume for protection but then RTD has Yasmin live through being deadnamed in the show which she herself has said made her uncomfortable and then also gave her character the line of telling the Doctor to not assume pronouns… which any of the characters could have done but RTD chose Rose and then what happen? What always happens with the right wing, the pronoun line and the male presenting line are the ones that the right wing all go on about in every video, in every article… they deadname the character and then misgender and say horrible things about Yasmin… so RTD protects the 50+ year old white man who’s worn way more feminine things then 13 outfit in his career the media could use if they wanted to go after him but don’t protect the 20 year old Trans Woman? How people aren’t talking about how fucked up that is I don’t know.

Then we get no reason why the Doctor has that face and why the clothes regenerated on them. Then in their own regeneration… they don’t! They bi-regenerates and this time Ncuti does get the Doctor clothes, well half of them… why didn’t 15 regenerate with their own clothes? No instead we have the new Doctor walking around with no pants on… and why is it that 15 has to go pantless and not David? are we protecting David again? Perfectly fine to have a bunch of pics of 15 in his tighty whities and no pants but again David could not be seen in 13s full gender neutral outfit. 

Then to top all this off theres no mention in the loves lost of Yaz… even though the Doctor chose to drop her off in a park 3 days ago after telling her if they could Date anyone it would be Yaz… is that not love lost? Was saying good bye to Yaz not an emotional trigger? Now people are saying thats because only the dead were brought up… Rose is not dead unlike Yaz Rose is not only alive in another Dimension but also got herself a Doctor… Yaz currently is mourning the Doctor while they cant even seem to remember she existed despite dropping her off 3 days a go… so they weren’t all dead… however Rose was over 1000 years ago and Yaz 3 days ago… what hurts more the lost of someone you loved but who is still alive from 50 years ago or the one you lost last week? What makes logical sense is the love you lost most recently hurts the most… and people dont need to die for you to hurt losing them from your life if you love them.

Now we have 2 Doctors and people are already saying they can’t wait for David Tennant episodes, so if you think the 10th Doctor overshadowed the other Doctors when he was no longer the Doctor how overshadowed do you think the first main Doctor of colour is going to be when lots of peoples favourite white Doctor ever is also a legitimate Doctor in universe existing at the exact same time with a TARDIS? Ncuti doesn’t event get to be the only Doctor during his tenure he has to share it with David.  

The lastly no mentions of Yaz at all… seems shes completely forgotten and at the very end the Doctor says they are finally with their family the happiest he’s ever been… what a diss of every TARDIS team ever that the Doctor has found family with… your last crew you literally called your ‘Fam’, the Ponds you actually married into… Susan was your flesh and blood… but no this family you haven’t seen in 1000 years, of which only one of who was part of your TARDIS team are the ones you finally found family with and make you the happiest you’ve ever be? Literally at the exact same time the Doctor is sitting at that table saying all of that, Yaz is mourning the Doctor and not wanting to have left the TARDIS, but she doesn’t get a mention because for some reason if it’s a wlw relationship it means nothing and can be ignored completely. 

Honestly by the end the Doctor just seems like a complete prick, and not in a 13 I’m dealing with internal trauma and I accidentally snapped way but just in a I’m a shit person way. Talk about compromised morals, people wouldn’t shut up about it with 13 but the Doctor just left a young woman to mourn them while being the “happiest they have ever been” grabbing themselves a new family and pretending Yaz doesn’t exist. Talk about shit morals. People say Chibs didn’t know anything from 12s era, which wasn’t true it directly affected the way 13 kept the fam at arms length but after watching this clearly RTD didn’t even know what happened in the episode 14 regenerated from 13 in and the previous episode Legend of the Sea Devils, because surely if you did, you wouldn’t not mention Yaz at all and give a reason why the Doctor wouldn’t go see her while she’s mourning them and just grabbing a new family and claiming to be the happiest you’ve ever been in the 2000 years of life you remember. Because that would make the character look like a prick, not a hero, which is exactly what happened. If RTD is the amazing writer people claim, he could have come up with a Yaz mention and a reason why the Doctor wasn’t going to see her.

I know not everyone was happy with the wlw representation with Thasmin but you know what’s way worse? Not even mentioning it or even acknowledging Yaz’s existence.

And to top it off I am so very very over the double standard of the fandom… this episode, had plot holes, had important things that weren’t explained… like why that face and why did the clothes regenerate… things that weren’t explained that weren’t so important like where did the sonic screw driver come from, why can it do all the things it now does… it had racism from both the Toymaker and Donna… what on earth was that line about ‘do you come in every colour’, was paced poorly, it clearly should have been longer and decided to mess with lore by creating bi-rengeration out of thin air and not explaining how it would effect things going forward or why it even happen, like a true WTF… if Chibs had done even one of these things, or wrote this episode the exact same way the fandom would be coming for him instead they are praising the genius of RTD not caring about any of those things, all the sins they claimed Chibs did and some of them on a bigger scale in this episode but the treatment of RTD is the polar opposite. 

It’s unbelievably hypocritical, and makes the fandom look even worse for being so hard on the first female Doctor because none of this was acceptable for her but its not only fine but great with a male Doctor.

So I think it’s time for me to let this show go, and know it’s time to bow out. Because unlike the people who have been horrible about 13 for the last 6 years I understand sometimes you have to step away from something you love when its no longer for you and leave it for other people to love.

Im out with 13.

#13th doctor #thirteenth doctor #thirteen #13 #yasmin khan #thasmin #yaz #yaz khan #13 era #dw

[raythekiller]

pt 2: (sorry for not being specific- :,))

Masky, Hoodie, Tic Toby [basically all the proxies] Ben drowned, Jeff the killer, Nina the killer, EJ, LJ, and if possible [like a sibling relationship] with Sally Williams!

ps: Lane the lurker can also be added it’s optional. Also that man is hOts.

🍬 Anon

🗒 ❛ Transmasc Reader ༉‧₊˚✧

Featuring: Jeff The Killer, Ben Drowned, Ticci Toby, Eyeless Jack, Laughing Jack, Masky, Hoodie, Nina The Killer, Sally Williams

#Notes: another one of many transmasc requests hell yeah

pronouns used: none, but male! reader

˗ˏˋ back to navigation ´ˎ˗

꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Jeff The Killer

Mentioned this before, but it's likely he misgenders and even deadnames you just for shits and giggles (that only he finds funny), until you genuinely get upset and guilt comes crawling in, making him quit it. He doesn't understand that his words carry a weight with them most of the time, so it's more out of debauchery than straight up malice, which is a little rich coming from him. Despite this, he feels like he's the only one who can disrespect you like that (in his own twisted mind, that is) and will not stand for anyone doing the same thing, his protectiveness and violent tendencies coming into play. The knife he carries around isn't just for show, afterall.

꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Ben Drowned

Doesn't care for gender or gender roles, which is a surprising level of maturity coming from someone that behaves like a pre teen boy most of the time. No matter how you dress or behave, he just sees you as a guy (even if you're in a dress and full makeup) cause that's what you are, no amount of femininity will change that fact for him, proposital or accidental. Doesn't even get mad when someone disrespects you in that regard, he just gets upset cause he straight up doesn't understand their prejudicial point of view, and just tells them to shut up in a flat voice, then ignoring any protest and moving his attention to you to ask if you're okay. Your comfort is of utmost importance to him.

꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Ticci Toby

Also mentioned this before, but since I headcanon Cody to be transmasc and them to be best friends, he's quite used to it. Plus, his compassionate and understanding nature wouldn't allow it to be any other way. Treats you with extra care and is extremely protective, just because he knows you already struggle a lot and he wants to make things easier for you. Makes you feel included by inviting you to hang out with him and the other boys in their so called "guys night out", which earned a eyebrow raise from Jeff but complete acceptance from the others. Will not tolerate any kind of funny business when it comes to this and is quick to verbally and physically threaten anyone who disrespects you.

꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Eyeless Jack

Approaches it more from a doctor's perspective than anything else, since otherwise he would feel a little awkward and is scared to accidently offend you since that's the last thing he wants. Offers to help you get started on T if you haven't already and tells you what to eat to help increase your testosterone levels. Super nice and respectful, just wants you to feel comfortable in your own skin. Like Toby, he's a little bit extra protective when it comes to you, but more often than not he just corrects people when you get misgendered by them. If they insist, he drags you away and leave the person talking to themselves, not willing to give them the time of day. Your comfort is more important than whatever stupidity is coming out of their mouth.

꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Laughing Jack

He's literally a ragdoll, I don't think he cares or understands gender all that much. If you say you're a guy, then so be it, he'll refer to and treat you as one no questions asked and no matter how you look or sound like. I believe he likes to sew, so he might make you a few outfits that better fit your taste to help you feel better about yourself if you're having a bad dysphoria day. Calls you "Handsome" pretty often as well. Doesn't understand the concept of transphobia, it just doesn't make sense in his mind, so he's more confused than anything if he ever sees someone misgendering you. When he notices you getting more and more genuinely upset, it kinda clicks that they're doing it out of malice. Big chance of them not coming out alive from this encounter.

꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Masky

My first instinct was to say he would be similar to Jeff, as usual, but considering the fact he was getting a liberal arts degree, I highly doubt it. At most raises an eyebrow if he ever sees you dressing more feminine, but never actually mentions it or disrespects you (in that regard, at least). Just be warned, since you're a man, he's going to treat you like one - bad side and all. No taking it easy on you during training or being chivalrous, if you're one of the guys, you're gonna get the same treatment. Despite all that, he's super quick to straight up point a fucking gun at anyone misgendering you, asking them to repeat themselves in a low and menacing tone.

꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Hoodie

Super lowkey with making sure you feel validated and included, doesn't want to be too in your face about it. Just small things like talking about how all the guys are together while you're in the room as well or a quick signed "Looking handsome" as you walk by. He just doesn't want to be too forceful and end up backfiring and making you uncomfortable, but he wants you to know he considers you one of the boys™ just as much as he does the others. Introduces you to singers he likes that are also trans, like Frances Forever or Awfultune, and might even play some of their songs on his guitar for you. Doesn't pay any attention to people misgendering you, just tries to steal your attention while leaving them to talk to themselves, that shit eating grin ever present on his face.

꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Nina The Killer

I'm sorry, but she's probably one of those "I always wanted to have a trans friend!" people. Not that she thinks you're just trans and nothing else, she does appreciate you for who you are as a person more than anything, but that's definitely her first thought. Super excited to have makeovers with you - she dresses you up super nicely (and emo) and is literally the embodiment of that one "Do you or do you not feel bonita?" audio, will not stop bugging you until you admit you feel handsome. Extremely passive aggressive with people who misgender you, going "Uhm, it's HE, actually" in a somewhat rude manner. If they insist you better hold her back or things might escalate.

꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Sally Williams

This little sweetie is so nice to you. Might misgender you at first on accident until you or someone else explain it to her, then she just nods all excited and starts calling you "Big bro Y/N". Gives you piles and piles of drawings that she makes of you, each with a variation of "Best bro ever" written as the header, and looks up at you seesawing on the soles of her foot, waiting for you to compliment her artistic abilities, to which she hugs your waist tightly when you do.

#creepypasta #creepypasta headcanons #creepypasta x reader #ray.writes #ticci toby #jeff the killer #eyeless jack #ticci toby x reader #jeff the kiler x reader #eyeless jack x reader #ben drowned #ben drowned x reader #laughing jack #laughing jack x reader #masky #masky x reader #hoodie #hoodie x reader #nina the killer #nina the killer x reader #sally williams

[jell-o101]

As a Luigi fan, what is something you really DON'T like when it comes to the fandom's interpretation of him?

Making him too scared to do anything without a solid reason. No body is just..BORN that way. You gotta give an in-depth explanation for why you BELIEVE he is the way he is and give him a proper motive to do anything despite his fear. Because Luigi will complete the task DESPITE being afraid and that’s cool.

It also depends on which version of Luigi too. All of the main games and spin offs after Luigi’s Mansion have taken his personality of said game and seem to have made it canon…except for the Paper Mario series.

The Paper Mario series is like a separate pocket dimension or something like that, so the Luigi in THAT universe is no coward. A little envious and socially inept, maybe. But no coward.

When it comes to writing Luigi, I prefer to keep those different versions separate. So

Another thing I kinda dislike is when the fandom seems to agree that Luigi is trans, but still make him super feminine like they ignore he probably just likes wearing dresses and that’s it. People calling him Queen or Wife or Mom. Like…PICK ONE OR THE OTHER, MAN. Unless someone writes Luigi as someone who doesn’t mind if he is misgendered. That or he dislikes confrontation so much that he’d rather not say anything, which is the more plausible version for me since whenever anyone in the games, most notably in the Mario and Luigi games, pokes fun at Luigi, he will NOT do anything about it unless it gets to him REALLY HARD to the point where Mario has to step in (example of this, Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time)

Maybe I trailed off a little, but to summarize, making Luigi a coward/burden and when people don’t know how to write him as a trans character (I am not trans myself, but I have a couple of friends who are and I ask them for advice)

[enbesbians]

hi, just wanted to come back here since i haven’t been on this app for almost a week and i wanted to make a little psa. to start off, if you’re transphobic, unfollow me right fucking now.

i dislike hateful people— people who don’t use their heads to understand the dangers of something as simple as questioning a trans person if they’re really gay/lesbian just because they don’t fit your idea of what it is to be within that community. if you’re inclined to send me (because i am in time, including fics for trans readers) and other writers death threats, reevaluate your life decisions and morals and also… maybe, don’t fucking read it???

trans women have been on the news for who knows how long with headlines of them being brutally beaten and having their life taken away just because they finally have the confidence to be the person they always felt inside. do you know how hard it is to come to terms with yourself? find out your true self? allow yourself to be comfortable and happy and feel fucking free? do you know how hard it is just to walk down the goddamn street without worrying about a fucking weirdo in your ear telling you that you’re a man just because you’re openly an transgendered woman? women already have it hard, needing to walk on pins and needles when walking alone in the street or going to clubs or just going to simple fucking places without being harassed because of the fear that’s instilled in them because of nasty fucking people and their need to be hateful and indulgent.

being in the lgbtq community is hard as is and every subgroup within it deals with their own traumatic shit more times than not— so if you think that it’s okay to twiddle your fucking fingers, make long rants, send death threats to people and overall be a hateful, judgmental, insensitive and an ignorant person is disgusting and it shows your true colors. just because someone writes a lesbian/pansexual woman as trans, does not mean that they’re any less of a lesbian than they already identify themselves as.

trans women are fucking women and trans men are fucking men! stop thinking you, as a cisgendered person has all the say in the world on whether or not they’re able to identify themselves as gay/pansexual or anything in between. if you’re questioning a cisgendered lesbian women for having a trans partner, i just want you to close your lips, turn off your fucking phone and get out of other people’s business and lifestyles.

please go look into the lgbtq+ history and see how trans women have helped and contributed to the community— look and see how much death and suffering they all go to endure. look at all the young trans children taking their lives just because people can’t wrap their head around people just wanting to live their lives.

and another thing… if you see a trans person and they aren’t ‘passing’ to you, that does NOT give you the opportunity to question them. that does NOT give you the right to misgender them. that does NOT mean you yell at their cisgender partner calling them straight (if they’re a lesbian couple), or gay (if it’s a cis man and a trans woman). please do not do that, it’s sad to see and it’s overall unattractive to be this hateful.

#fern talks🍃 #lesbian #sapphic #wlw

[moonlovesskunks]

One thing that I've seen in the online queer community that I really don't like is people saying, "your pronouns don't equal your gender."

To be clear, when people say this, what they're usually trying to say is something along the lines of, "men can choose to go by she/her and women can choose to go by he/him, if they want to", and I do very much agree with that. People can do whatever they want, identify as whatever gender they want, express that with any pronouns they want. No exceptions.

But I heavily disagree with the phrase "pronouns don't equal gender" because that's just not true in the slightest. Saying "pronouns don't equal gender" is claiming that pronouns and gender have no connection or relation ever, and that all pronoun sets are gender-neutral, even though pronouns are a critical way that people express their gender.

Furthermore, by saying all pronouns are gender-neutral, you're also saying it's impossible to misgender people by using certain pronouns. What if I walked up to a transgender woman, and referred to her as he/him. Unless she asked me to use he/him pronouns for her, that's misgendering. Because he/him is the third-person male pronoun set in English. When I use those words to refer to someone, I'm implying a masculine gender.

Also, one thing I don't like about people saying that pronouns don't equal gender is that I'm a she/her man, and I 100% think pronouns and gender are related when it comes to my gender identity. I'm a man, and I don't use she/her because she/her is a gender neutral pronoun set. I use she/her BECAUSE it's a feminine pronoun set, and using it completely subverts established gender norms, why wouldn't you recognize that as such?

If people were mostly saying "your pronouns *don't have* to equal your gender", I don't think I would have this problem, because I do agree with that. But I find it weird when queer people go out of their way to use language accommodating she/her men and he/him women because, while it isn't bad or wrong in the slightest, in fact, it's a kind effort, it's just far from necessary because she/her men and he/him women are the exception, not the rule.

#gay #lgbt #trans #lgbtq #leftist #queer #social justice #gender #genderfluid #genderqueer #non binary #nonbinary #non-binary #pronouns #neopronouns #she/her #he/him #they/them #it/its #transfem #transmasc #transgender #trans man #trans men #trans woman #trans women #feminist #pronouns don't equal gender #pronouns gender #pronouns and gender

[genderkoolaid]

hmm psa for cis allies: don't just assume a trans person always wants you to correct other people on their gender or name.

personally, when I'm dealing with systematic misgendering or deadnaming, I'm already stressed out. I don't enjoy that kind of social interaction, at the doctor's office or DMV or what have you.

And adding on the stress of coming out to a random stranger as trans, and for me, the extra stress as coming out as nonbinary (because not only am I trans, I'm one of the WEIRD ones), also adds on the fear of whether or not I will face transphobia from the people I am interacting with. Because of all this, I generally don't correct people who read my deadnamed off the computer. It doesn't hurt me that bad because I know they literally don't know any better, and I don't want to rock the boat and thus my tenous grip on not having a panic attack in public.

When my mother or a friend just decides to correct them for me, I suddenly have to deal with all that stress without even being able to prepare for it. I am outed against my will to strangers who often have control over very important things (like, if it's a doctor's office, my literal body). It makes me have to deal with extra, often invasive questions, or confusion about which name to use or how to gender me, or general awkwardness/hostility.

Just ask beforehand. I know allies generally want a solid list of Allyship Rules to follow to the letter, but please: "never out a trans person" overrules "always correct someone on a trans person's pronouns/name".

#m.

[our-transmasculine-experience]

I have a ... Complicated relationship with they/them.

On one hand, I really appreciate that these pronouns are becoming more accepted in common usage, and I'm glad more people are learning to use they/them as the default when they don't know someone - it's a good reminder that appearance =/= gender.

The issue is that I get dysphoric when people use they/them for me.

I acknowledge that many trans people don't feel this way, and are comfortable with they/them in addition to binary pronouns. I think that's great, and they're totally valid for that. However, personally, using he/they feels like a concession because I'm not masculine enough - and I'm worried others would view it that way too.

I'm in the early stages of transition, so I don't pass particularly well, and I feel like many people would exclusively use they/them for me because I don't appear masculine enough to use he/him. I really hate that, but at the same time I feel guilty about it, because I don't want to correct people if they're at least trying to not misgender me - I still prefer they over she.

It hurts especially when my other trans friends use they/them as well as, or sometimes instead of, he/him for me. I think they do it because most of my trans friends use she/they or he/they, and the aforementioned habit of using they for anyone. It just makes me really dysphoric though.

Most of the dysphoria comes from the feeling that being referred to with they makes me not truly masculine, but part of it is also caused by my coming out experience - when I told my parents I was a trans guy, they told me I was probably just a "confused nonbinary" and that they'd use they/them for me. (They called me they twice - both times on that day I came out - and proceeded to misgender me and deadname me for the six months since then.)

It makes me conflicted -- I feel wrong for not liking they/them, especially since I feel like if I try to correct people that I only go by he/him, I'm worried I'll be feeding into the stereotype of "trans people are pushy snowflakes, they get mad at you if you call them the wrong thing," etc.

i’m gonna tell you something now and it might be a hard pill to really swallow. it is a complete waste of time trying to appeal to cis people, especially conservatives, and trying to be “one of the good ones”. believe me, i have spent so much time doing this same thing but all it left me was drained and unhappy.

do not use pronouns you don’t feel comfortable with. correct people if you’re comfortable. you do not exist to be put into a box.

and about the they/them pronouns thing: yeah, i also feel like that. it makes me feel like i’m less of a man, personally.

you’re not alone anon, ever. you are completely valid, my brother.

#transmasc #trans #ftm #trans guy #lgbtq #lgbt #queer #trans man #trans boy #transgender

[theelkmaiden]

Imagine itty bitty trans Billy Batson who doesn't know he's trans (yet) getting Shazamed and just...not realising that he looks masculin.

He notices people refer to him as "he" but just thinks that perhaps he looks like a "butch" woman and corrects them. But the longer it goes on, the less inclined he is to correct them. And tries to ignore how it makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Now imagine Billy Batson catching his Captain Marvel reflection in the window of the watchtower for the first time and making a suprised sound, catching someone(say, superman)s attention.

Superman: Is everything okay, Captain?

Marvel *confused but not upset*: is this why everyone calls me "he"?

Superman *suddenly very aware that he may have been misgendering his colleague but also confused*: are you not a "he"? What do you mean, "this"?

Marvel *gesturing to his body*: this. I don't look like this when I'm powered down. I look like a girl.

Superman: oh! Do you want us to call you "she" instead?

Marvel *suddenly disgusted*: ummmm. No. Thanks. I think I like "he" just fine actually.

And then he just leaves because he's a child and didn't realise that he'd just come out as trans to someone who actually knows the significance of that.

And then imagine Billy Batson going to the library and looking up why he likes being a boy and learning all about what it means to be trans and suddenly mortified that he came out before he even figured it out himself and just internally screaming before deciding to never think about it again.

(Also, as a bonus, imagine superman stopping by a pin stall during a festival and buying a trans pin with 0 context to give to Cap and the Internet freaking out because they know one of their heroes is trans, but have no idea who)

#shazam #superman #billy batson #trans billy batson #because i said so #dc #superman is a good ally