#also related to my ✨religious trauma✨ | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

brokenolivejar · 3 months

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★introduction for realsies★

Main op goes by Emerald or Dimitri no pref

Non binary trans masc (they/xe prns okay with he/him)

On the aroace spectrum sapphic

I have ADHD and DID and 70 other diseases

I'm also physically disabled and I use a cane or forearm crutches!

What I do here is just reblog things I find funny or my interests

And I draw!! I'm an artist's and yes my comms are open! Here's the link!

Main fandoms you'll see from me are

★ Ocs or OC stories ect

★ Lego monkie kid

★ one piece

★ dorohedoro

★ madoka magica

★ pokemon

★ digimon

★ monster hunter

★ Danganronpa

★ black butler

★ pirates or anything history/anthropology related things

★ homestuck

★ mlp

★ wings of fire

★ hunter x hunter

★ ddlc

And more and other niche interests

I also have other blogs such such as the animalized ddlc ask blogs @monisayoyuri

My comic series krc @kamisreigningchampions

And a couple other daily merge accounts mostly for homestuck

Other socials are

Instagram - brokenolivejars and gardentoreador and gempirates for specifically my alters art

Tiktok - brokenolivejar

Twitter/X - brokenolivejar

Bluesky - brokenolivejar

Discord - won't give that one out bc yeah maybe I'll give some discord servers that are public if u ask nicely

I'll also be focusing pretty bad on some AU's

Church of Sacrilege (CoS) - merged au with blondeaxolotl/axolotlblondie - fandoms are black butler, Danganronpa (but really it's just my ocs), lmk, ddlc - au is set in 476 AD aka the right before slash during renaissance era or right after the fall of the roman empire based off the religious trauma and church abuse back then

Era of piracy(pirate au) - basically just a 16-17th century pirate au for Danganronpa a project I plan to turn into a zine and I'm pretty much vanishing from the dr fandom at this point. but may turn it later on to lmk and ocs

MLP au - just an au where I MLPify fandoms I enjoy and make it darker

Beastars au - same with the MLP au

Kamis reigning champions (krc au) - basically same with the previous 2 but with my OC series which is based off of futile era japan in a weird way

Animalized au - basically the other previous 3 but I turn them all into anthropomorphic animals or feral/quadrupedal animals (that's not just cats and dogs)

Planet V for all (PVA) - not really an au more of like the universe where I steal dr characters and make them my ocs

⚠️⚠️Fair warnings for my blog⚠️⚠️

- I swear :(

- blood and occasional nudity (NOT porn yucky)

- I touch weird topics such as trauma with like SA or religious trauma

- idk that's it for now

About my system under the cut!

My system is called the gem/geo pirates or the brokenolivejar

I know people have those keep records oh their system websites and what not I unfortunately don't apologies! But most of my alters sigh their posts with - [insert their name] and their associated emoji]

But they also do art now and then! Though I'm the host and I front the most

Here's the list!

Emerald - 🐐

Kiro - 🌺

Elliot - 🦅

Octavia - ☔️

Syo/toko - ✂️

Betty - 🗿

Karma - 🦴

Himiko/Sylvie - ✨

Tenko/eshe - 💣

Beam - 🦈

Angie - 🐚

Gonta/Alois - 🪲

Kiibo - ⚡️

Kirumi/anfisa - 🕸️

Luffy - 🍖

Robin - 🪷

Zoro - ⚔️

Yamato - 🐉

Vivi - 💙

Ryoma/drago - 🎾

Izzy - 🐞

Ken - 🐝

Akihiro - 💵

Grell - 🪚

Mikan - 🩹

Chihiro/guo - 🕹️

Jataro - 🪝

Shizuku - 🦷

Rei - 👾

Taro - 🐊

Cavendish - 🥄

Ebisu - 💀

Lefty - 🐻

Kaito - 🪐

Shiver - 🪭

Frye - 🦑

Pearl - 🫧

Ussop - 🥽

Jimbe - 🐋

Yuuri - 🔪

Pidge/Katie - 🌿

Tony chopper - 🦌

Kobeni - 💦

Zelt - 🍎

Brook - 🎸

Chinder - 🦠

Sayo sayo - 🎀

Nikaido - 🥟

Shin - 💔

Redson - 🔥

Sandy - ☮️

Macaque - 🙈

Will update when needed!!

#intro #about me #just a post #not and art post #art comms open #comms #comms info #danganronpa v3 #danganronpa #danganronpa killing harmony #danganronpa au #system #system stuff #lego monkie kid #i am not well #emerald rambles

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themagicalkidproject · 10 months

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✨💫ASKS ARE CLOSED CURRENTLY💫✨

✨💫WHAT’S GOING ON?💫✨

The Magical Kid Project takes place in a world much like our own.

In this world, a mysterious entity appears to outcast adolescents. It calls itself Glass.

It gives them the ability to transform into a Magical Kid, giving them a new outfit, increased strength, stamina, and speed. Magical Kids start out without powers, without weapons, and with a basic white costume- it is up to them to discover who they are and thus what they embody.

A Magical Kid’s costume takes the appearance of their pride flag because they connect deeply to the meaning of the flag.

Glass has slight future awareness. Because of this, there is never more than one Magical Kid representing each flag. That being said, this only accounts for the flag they represent. There may be more than one bi Magical Kid, but only one represents the bi flag.

I, the Creator @theanonymousclown, take the role of recording every Magical Kid currently on the field.

Welcome, everyone, to the Magical Kid Project.

✨💫CURRENT REQUESTS (IN ORDER)💫✨

1. Sheepgender and Raccoonboygender

2. Objectix

3. Selkiegender

4. Genderqueer

5. AlloAce

6. Inkihorizic

7. Weirdbeing

8. Sillyesque

9. Aurethesia

10. Tenethesia

11. Moscloudigue

12. Shadowatchen

13. Strelizicenic

14. Polyamory

✨💫TAGS💫✨

#The Magical Kid Project: Main Tag!

#The Creator Speaks: Posts directly from the Creator!

#Lore from The Creator: Lore of TMKP!

#Commissions: Where to find Commissions Info!

TRIGGER WARNINGS

While for right now this blog is focused on the characters, the STORY of The Magical Kid Project will feature aspects of religious trauma, homophobia, transphobia, aphobia, death, injury, and possession. It also features various allusions to Christianity, Angels, and Demons in a negative light. One of the main allegories is how religion can effect how people view the LGBT community, and how the Christian faith can be harmful to queer people. If you have any triggers related to Christianity, I would recommend avoiding this project- some of my anxiety triggers used to be God and Angels, so take my word for it that the topic will be a very apparent and can be a trigger.

#The Magical Kid Project #magical girl #magical boy #unreality #storytelling #The Creator Speaks #Lore from The Creator

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my-paws-ar3-cl3an · 4 months

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Intro Post ;3

hello friends!!!~ this blog is basically just a bunch of mush of all of my hobbies and interests

I have a couple names that I go by Alexander/Heru/Xander/Alex

I’m trans and Bi, I use He/They pronouns and some neos and xenos(if ur curious you can ask me or dm me :3)

‼️READ MY DNI BEFORE FOLLOWING ME‼️

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ABOUT ME ✨ I’m ND (Neurodivergent) I have self diagnosed ADHD and I also have a lot of sensory issues, I am also a System! Introduction post for us is here I am an artist!!! I’ve been drawing for a long time, almost my whole life and posts on this blog that are related to my art will be under the tag “my trash” I am a therian and a furry!

My theriotypes are: sure of: Brown Bear🐻 and German Shepherd🐕 unsure of: Catalina Macaw🦜 and Clydesdale🐴 (You’ll see lots of posts about my therianthropy and such and also see posts about my fursona and about furries in general)

I am an age regressor!!!🪼🦈 I regress to ages 1-4 (you will see posts about agere on here)🦕🐢

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MY INTERESTS/HYPERFIXATIONS/FANDOMS IM IN🪻

Interests:🌿🎶🦈🎨🧠🌎✨

I love talking about and being educated about nature, music, animals, art, mental health, the environment, snd social issues

Fandoms: - XPLR/Sam and Colby - Stranger Things - Furry - Bo Burnham

CURRENT HYPERFIXATIONS‼️: ~ Nirvana🎶🎸 ~ Sam and Colby✖️📸 ~ Coraline🗝️🌙🪡 ================================================ ‼️‼️MUSIC‼️‼️

Music is a large powerful force and influence in my life and I can talk about it for a long time (pls if anyone is interested in any of the artists I like pls pls pls talk to me about them, I love talking ab my music taste and learning ab other ppls music tastes)

ARTISTS AND BANDS I LIKE: Nirvana Noah Kahan Lovejoy CSHR: Car Seat Headrest Billie Eilish The Beatles Fleetwood Mac Melanie Martinez Paramore QUEEN Wilbur Soot Hozier The Smiths

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DNI‼️: homophobes, transphobes, TERFS, rightists, radfems, anti-therian, furry haters, anti-xenogender, anti-neipronouns, harry potter fans/JKR supporters, Israel supporters, anti-endo, k!nk, n$fw, anti-agere,

disclaimer‼️ please do not interact if you’re blog is super religious as I have trauma and I don’t want to be associated with that

Also‼️ if you try to reach out to me and you are being n$fw I will block you and then post ab it so my followers know not to interact with you :3

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that’s all! This will be updated regularly so look out for changes :3 have a lovely day! ;)

-Sincerely Alexander/Heru

#artists on tumblr #furry #therianthropy #theiran #intro post #about myself #nirvana #music #sfw regression #sfw interaction only #furry art #furry fandom #nature

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tabsters · 8 months

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OHOHOHO FUNNY THAT @mythicalmagical-monkeyman AND @maiawhimsicalt SHOULD MENTION THESE TWO DEFINITELY UNRELATED CHARACTERS NYEHEHEHE

tagging: @mythicalmagical-monkeyman, @hyperfixation-tangentopia, and @maiawhimsicalt. if you want to get tagged for when i make zodiac posts, please let me know!

previous posts are here

So. Fun fact. Centaurus and Crux do indeed interact with each other.

What’s their relation to each other? Well…

They’re in the fine line between ‘friends’ and ‘lovers’. It’s complicated, but basically they want to mutually be in love but are super duper scared to actually admit their feelings to each other. Just like me and Rexen a couple weeks before we got together.

These two are also friggin DUMBASSES because they have KISSED and HELD HANDS and they STILL go like “yeah we did it just as friends lolol”

Essentially: idiots to lovers. Very big idiots to lovers.

Moving on from these two’s disastrous love life…(not more disastrous than mine though)

Centaurus:

Represents the constellation of the centaur

Minor goddess of dreams, nightmares, and the subconscious

Sagittarius’ older half sister

Related to Sagittarius through their dad. She also serves as Sagittarius’ advisor.

Centaurus and Sagittarius also have a younger half sister, again, related through their dad.

Chinese, born and raised. Unlike her half brother, she did not run away to America with her mother when she was twelve.

Suffers an extremely large amount from sleep paralysis, insomnia, and other sleep-related disorders due to being the goddess of sleep. Sometimes she also experiences other people’s nightmares if they’re distressed enough. Which is not fun. At all.

She can also, to some extent, manipulate others’ dreams and help interpret prophetic dreams. Additionally, she can use tarot cards to predict possible outcomes for the future.

She’s an actual centaur!! Four legs and horse tail and all!! Except she can change from centaur form to human form. No, she does not give out free rides. If you ask her that, she will kick you with her horse hooves.

She has the sleep schedule of Rexen (rexen this is your reminder to SLEEP. BETTER.) She sleeps at two am and wakes up nine hours later.

Voice claim: Sweet Dreams remix by Besomorph

Design:

Crux

Represents the constellation of the cross

Minor goddess of music

Lyra’s older sister, 2 years older than Lyra but 3 years younger than their older sister

Korean

As mentioned previously, Lyra’s hands got chopped off due to their parents fucking with a korean gang lord. Crux and their oldest sister got similar treatment. Crux had tally marks carved onto her back, one tally mark for every thousand won (korean currency) their parents owed. Totalling…ooh…150 tally marks in all. Ouchie.

I based Crux off of Raine Whispers, in terms of powers and personality (music powers, very shy and afraid of attention)

Crux can manipulate soundwaves via instruments, and is most skilled at the lyre, the violin, and the flute.

She has perfect pitch, which is the ability to identify any musical note by name after hearing it, without reference to other notes. She can also pick up any instrument pretty quickly after watching someone play it.

Crux 🤝 Sagittarius for Asians with religious trauma. You think I saw a constellation literally called “The Cross” and thought I wouldn’t give them religious trauma? Hehe no, it’s in the name of ✨SYMBOLISM✨

Voice claim: Saints by Echos

Design:

questions about my lore are greatly appreciated!!

#oc #oc lore #zodiac #zodiacs #zodiac sign #zodiac signs #zodiac lore #gacha club #gacha

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tohisprettyc00l · 8 months

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Hello! I’m here to request two romantic owl house match-ups :)

I have dyed black hair that fades into a purple ombré, my hairstyle is basically the same as Gwen Stacey’s in ATSP idk how to describe it other then that. I have pale skin and green and blue heterochromia, eyebags, I have a slender but scrawny body and I’m 5’0, weighing at 90 something pounds, and I’m sixteen years old.

I’m homeschooled and I don’t talk much. I don’t have any friends other then online friends so I’m pretty lonely and isolated. I’m introverted and shy, but I’m also extremely stubborn and independent. I hate asking for things because it makes me feel guilty and I have ✨religious trauma✨. It takes me a while to warm up to people, but once I do I can be very outgoing and weird. I’m very soft spoken and I’ve been told I have an androgynous/soft voice. I can be pretty sarcastic at times and I like to playfully bicker with people a lot. I really love water and I love swimming, I feel a deep connection to the ocean and stuff like that. I absolutely ADORE animals because I think they’re so cute and super cool, my favorite is a black panther or fox :) I have adhd and autism and I have anxiety and bad paranoia along with nervous tics. I’m very nervous in public and I usually stick to whoever I’m closest to, holding their hand so I don’t get lost and stuff. I hate big crowds. I love music and I daydream a lot. I really like making oc’s and shipping the with cannon characters. I’m a people pleaser but I also don’t like hanging out with a big crowd and stuff. I’m very socially awkward and have a hard time connecting with people. I say sorry a lot even if I don’t need too. I usually worry about the fact that everybody secretly hates me and doesn’t want to be my friend so I need lots of reassurance. And I’m also very modest and humble. I love ranting about conspiracy theories and my other interests.

I feel like I’d be in the beast keeping, plant, bard, and oracle track and my palisman would be a frog!

I love Minecraft, Tomb raider, Pokémon, space, learning, water, nature, music, car rides, rock and metal, daydreaming, staying up late at night, soda, animals, Harry Potter, anime, Percy Jackson, conspiracy theories, horror, scary stories, wendigos and other creepy beings, baggy clothes, moth man, aliens, etc.

I’m gender-fluid, bisexual, and polyamorous!

I first match you with: Hunter Noceda!

-You both hate asking for things 😞

-Also y'all both have religious trauma so that's something to talk about

-Also taking a while to warm up to people is something Hunter can also relate to

-I feel like on top of wolfs Hunter would like foxes

-Despite being in the empers coven he 100% likes being in smaller crowds.

-It just happens when you have negative experiences with larger ones.

-Insecurity is Hunter's middle name

-Hunter has two middle names actually and the other is insomnia so you have someone to talk to when you're staying up late

-Hunter likes human realm mysteries a lot. So he is all ears to listen about cryptids and shit

I also match you with: Edric Blight!

-He's also stubborn so when both of you guys want something y'all are getting it.

-Ed may not have any religious trauma behind not wanting to ask for things but he does have trauma behind it

-Outgoing and weird? That's just Edric's personality.

-He def bickers with people lovingly

-Ed also loves making ocs. (Source: trust me bro)

-He also insecure in canon (bro you just pulling all the mentally ill bitches damn)

-He doesn't really beast keep but he does like learning about it

-Dude 100% likes Pokemon and Minecraft lol

I hope you like it!

#toh x reader #the owl house x reader #hunter x reader #golden gaurd x reader #hunter toh x reader #toh hunter x reader #edric blight x reader #edric x reader

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thesherrinfordfacility · 9 months

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IMO Aziraphale immediately starts off on the wrong foot and that conversation never recovers: you're the bad guys. There's something so alienating and condescending in that statement that as soon as I heard it I KNEW this wasn't going to end happily. I love Aziraphale but you cannot hope to give an offer that opens with that and expect Crowley to not argue/refuse. It comes from a place of ignorance and wasn't meant to be hurtful, but its still damning.

The whole offer in the first place is unnerving to me, even though I know logically WHY Aziraphale thinks it's a good thing. I'd never ask my queer friends to try to make peace with their homophobic families that disowned them- and that's the first allegory that came to mind for me.

oh there is no doubt in my mind that aziraphale wasn't also a chump in this dialogue too, anon, quite the opposite!!!

"you're the bad guys" as you mentioned, is a careless and thoughtless statement, especially now it confers a sense of superiority that you'd think aziraphale would have lost the majority of by now... i do have my very loose, poorly constructed argument as to what i think aziraphale actually meant by that line, but it's difficult to defend (because it is in fact largely indefensible), and so all i'll say is that i truly don't think he intended it as it came across - i think by this point in the narrative he is for the most part able to separate crowley as a person and crowley as a demon, and it is the latter to which he's referring to here. but in any case, still a really shit thing to say.

i do think aziraphale thought, whilst naively and in that naivety with carelessness, very innocently in offering what he did to crowley. the crowley he loves, wants by his side, is a good person. and heaven is inherently meant to be the side of good; by aziraphale's account, whilst it's currently a shitshow, its fundamental intention is truth, and light, and good. so why wouldn't crowley want to help him change it back to this? he's already halfway there to being an angel, in being a good person, and he didn't deserve to fall - let heaven make its reparations to crowley and offer the chance to be back in the fold! to help aziraphale remove the corruption and rot, and ensure that they and everyone else never has to hide ever again...?

we know obviously this was never going to happen from crowley's perspective, but we appear to know way more about crowley's trauma and history than aziraphale does. that is a big bit of context missing, and if aziraphale had that too, i don't think he would have even entertained the idea. would have rejected it in the room (or at the table). crowley might not be ready or willing to tell aziraphale that, for many reasons, but that doesn't make it aziraphale's fault either.

i won't pretend to speak as if i have any authority on the queer allegory, and especially its relation to religious trauma; im not queer and im not religious/was raised secular, and i think it would be disingenuous for me to comment on this as if i truly understood it (hope that comes across as i meant it, anon!!!💕)

but i do agree with you; i too would never ask that of my friend, my lover, whoever. but i think - and this may be my failing because of the fact im not queer and have never had this awful kind of thing happen to me - i don't see heaven as being a family. to go into how i see heaven (aziraphale/crowley's allegorical relationship to it) however would make this a very long post, so if anyone is in fact interested id be happy to elaborate on this in a different ask!!!✨

#good omens #not a shitpost but its good omens babyyyy #ask #crowley meta #aziraphale meta #feral domestic/final fifteen meta #s2 meta

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traumaticenby · 1 year

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hae! ✨ I'm Nastya, your local mentally ill hobby artist and hobby writer. Minor (15 years old, at 5th September I'm gonna be 16 years old). I live with my diagnosed disorders (some of them are still testing and getting diagnosed due to me being minor!) which I'm trying to accept such as paranoid schizophrenia, schizoid personality disorder, cptsd, depression, anxiety, eating disorder and substance abuse disorder. And of course a lot of issues, such self-harm, nicotine, alcoholism, mommy issues, trust issues, abandonment issuess. I have behind my back really long story, so don't be surprised why I'm pretty much... fucked up. Also, I would be grateful if you will like to hear my story. :) live in Prague, Czech republic, but my motherland is Russia. I'm silly non-binary creature with they/he pronouns. Greysexual biromantic. I'm here to share my own life, arts and vents and find my people. This is my safe place, so please, do not rush it. Also trigger warning for my profile. Triggers on my profile: self-harm, eating disorders (bulimia and binge related, specificly), suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, traumas, relationships traumas, sexual abuse traumas, abuse trauma, childhood traumas, alcoholism, unhealthy coping mechanisms, hallucinations, psychotic epizodes, substance abuse and such more to related to these trigers. DNI if you're racist, zoophile, pedophile, homophobic, transphobic, sexist, pro-life, romantise or fetish disorders and addictions, making from disorders and addictions an aestethic, sexualise people, pro-ana/pro-bulimia, transmeds, anti recovery, nsfw blogs, religious fanatics, 'narc abuse' 'bordelines are manipulative' 'schizos are dangerous' and any shit opionions like this (every disorder is valid and needs understanding and respect, amen), just basicly any hateful opinions (which no one asked you to say). If you know me irl, it's okay, but if you have any kind of problems with me, fuck you! carrd. ✨ Not sure, what I should add here more, so here you have some other and fun facts about me. Virgo, ENFP-INFP, not so much religious, but I believe a lot in angels and archangels and galaxy with planets and starts. I have two dogs named Dizel and Chilly and I love with my whole heart chickens. I plan to make chicken's farm in future. :D art by me. :)

#vent blog #vent tag #introduction #pinned intro #real life #my thoughts #diary #digital diary #online diary #my feelings #actually schizophrenic #actually schizospec #actually schizoid #actually ptsd #actually paranoid #actually depressed #actually anxious #vent account

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cgetbrmj · 10 months

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OBLIGATORY INTRODUCTION POST✨

HI! I'm Maddy, but you probably know me as Cgetbrmj. I write age regression fics over on ao3 :) Here's some stuff about me <3

Anything on here with #cgetbrmj is to do with my fics! Updates/snippets/plans/etc!

!!!!!!Most of my content on here is agere related BUT NOT ALL OF IT! If you're small/only looking for that content then filter #agere or #ageregression through my posts!!!!! :) <3

I've currently posted works in the James Bond, The Walking Dead, and The Last Of Us fandoms, with ongoing fics in progress - but I'm sure other fandoms will turn up in my posted fics pile soon too.

Some other fandoms and general media I like though,

Marvel (mostly pre Endgame), Taskmaster UK, Disney, Doctor Who, Pirates of the Carribean, the Mission Impossible franchise, a Series of Unfortunate Events, Now You See Me, and some others I'm definitely forgetting

HUGE thing about me, I love dinosaurs. Like I adore them, and I always have, they were probably my first interest and they never left lol. Jurassic Park franchise has been a big part of my life, along with the movies that made my childhood, that I absolutely still watch religiously - The Land Before Time. Genuinely stunning movies - I adore them to no end and have SO MANY THOUGHTS about them, if anyone wants to talk land before time with me, I'll literally spend hours upon hours talking about them PLEASE.

On the note of niche children's media, I had a bunch of shows I watched when I was younger that I later realised no one else really watched, but they're such a comfort to me lmao - if anyone shares that experience, feel free to talk niche kids shows with me

If anyone's still reading hi lol, I do not shut up god. Anyway - A couple books I love to an unhealthy level (probably) are both the Jurassic Park novels by Michael Crichton, the Poison Study series by Maria V Snyder, The Night Circus and The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern

If you couldn't tell by now, I am VERY much a spy/adventure kinda gal

Extra bits:

Littlest Pet Shops were my favourite thing ever and I refuse to get rid of any of them, because they are still awesome. I'm Australian. I'm a dancer. I fell down a rabbit hole of watching figure skating last year and now know more drama than I know what to do with. I have a lot of pets <3. I'm ADHD, autistic, and have an anxiety disorder (ptsd and childhood trauma is something I think most of us are familiar with)

Also, obviously, I use age regression as a coping mechanism lol

So that's my lil rant of me over, if anyone was curious.

#fanfiction #age regression #agere #cgetbrmj #fanfic #ao3 #ao3 fic #fandom agere #tlou #twd #james bond

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crimsonsongbird · 1 year

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Hello! I’ve already asked this to another Hekate devotee’s blog but I’m not sure if they’re still active so I was wondering if I could ask you something related to my devotion that has been worrying my mind. Also, please feel free to ignore this if you don’t want to answer it!✨

To sum it up: I’ve been slowly following Hekate’s path for a few years. And I say “slowly” bc I’ve also been worshiping Apollo for even more years now and I wanted to do it right. But I’ve been feeling that our connection is different since something that happened to me a few months ago. I saw a lost dog and it was almost midnight, so none of the shelters I called to rescue him helped me, they even said “it’s up to you” and I couldn’t bring him to my house bc I already have a dog and I didn’t how if the lost one was healthy or fearful and therefore aggressive so I felt lost, too. All I could do was put some towels and bowls full of water and food in a safe place and wait for the morning so the shelters could come to pick him up (I’m still angry and disappointed at them). Although everything turned out to be okay and he found his family, i felt so anxious and sad I think it affected me more than I expected. Maybe it is because of religious trauma but I even felt that Hekate was disappointed with me for not taking care of him and bringing him to my home even though I couldn’t do it. I’m kinda better now but sometimes I find myself wondering if she feels like I didn’t do enough, and that’s my question for you, another Hekate devotee: is it possible that the gods are disappointed with you even though you did all you could?

Thank you for taking your time, love! You’ve got a great blog 💖💖💖

Hello there, friend!

I want to start this off by reminding you that you did the best you could with what you had at the moment. You cannot hold yourself to the impossible standard of doing more than your best. You can only do what you are able to do, nothing more. The decision you made was the best thing for your dog. There is nothing wrong with that. And, in addition to remembering your own dog at home, you left out food, water, and towels for the stray! You could've easily said "not my problem" and left the stray to its own "fate". But you didn't! You were very compassionate and caring. You should be so proud of yourself for doing all that you did! And the stray found his home and family! THAT is the most important part here.

Now, to get your question, I do not want to speak for Mother Hekate because the gods are beyond human emotion and comprehension. I do believe that she knew the outcome of that situation before you did, both with and without your aiding the stray. And since I view Mother Hekate as very understanding and compassionate, I personally believe she would not be upset by you doing your best. That is all anyone can ever ask of you.

Perhaps the change in connection is due to your beating yourself up for not doing more? I have had experiences where the vibe with a deity feels different because my own anxiety and nerves are affecting it. It could definitely be religious trauma that is fueling your belief. Of all the times I beat myself up for believing I "disappointed" one of my deities, it turned out to be all in my head. Sure they have been disappointed when I do something incredibly stupid, but never once have they been disappointed by me doing all that I could in a situation.

I hope this helps and may your path with Hekate be blessed!

~Crimson

#asked and answered #anonymous #crimson speaks

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moonlit-positivity · 2 months

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Introductory Post ✨

Figured I'd do something a bit more personal so I can pin this somewhere lol hi, my name is Stinky, I'm a trauma survivor. Welcome to my blog ☺️

We are a traumagenic system diagnosed with C-PTSD, agoraphobia, panic disorder, dissociative disorder, and BPD. We have a system of alters that age regress, self persecute, self harm, and hold traumatic memories from my childhood. Ive also struggled with maladaptive daydreaming and eating disorders that range from starvation & obsessive exercise, to over eating & purposefully using that to harm myself. I have religious trauma, CSA trauma, child abuse trauma, and I am currently on my 5th year of trauma therapy in recovery from my abusive childhood relationship with my alcoholic mother. I also have a very strong suspicion that I am autistic, but I am not diagnosed.

And yet life moves on.

This blog is a love letter to myself. My past self, my current self, and my future. And I want to curate a living time capsule for my future self to look back on and hold myself in a much higher regard than this. I want that Real Talk Love with myself and everyone else who enters my life from here on out. And I want to share that with others who can relate, so stuck in this dark bullshit crying and trying and pulling with all your might to climb a rope out of that abyss. Everything you see posted here, from videos to text posts to resources & my own personal thoughts, is something I've seen and heard that made me say, "damn. I like that. I want that for myself. How the fuck do I get that?"

So yanno. Yeah. There's tea and chocolate chip cookies and snack packs and Capri Sun Coolers over there, and blankets, pillows, teddy bears over here. There's a fire pit and a gaming station set up with Animal Crossing in the back. Thanks for showing up & enjoy your visit.

Things you need to know before following me ✨

My blog can be summarized by three main categories:

🌸 helpful, informative posts that raise awareness but also contain graphic, obscene language, and heavy content warnings. Tags: cw csa, cw sa, cw sex, cw food, cw ed (please tag me in the replies if you'd like any added)

🌸 inspirational, uplifting, positivity, encouragement posts that may or may not directly reference suicidal thoughts. Not usually tagged if they're reblogged from other people.

🌸 suggestions, advice, coping skills, activities & resources, things that will encourage you to look in the mirror and get to know who's reflected back at you. Not usually tagged.

So let's talk boundaries & how I will handle discourse when something comes up that you don't agree with.

There are a lot of posts I write here that are going to be explicit, use vulgar language, and just give a general sense of the reality of taking care of your mental health & recovery. What does that mean? Well at some point you're gonna see something that's gonna piss you right the fuck off. And that's okay tbh. Encouraged even. If you think for one second that any of this bullshit is "easy", then you and I both would be lying to ourselves and to everyone else. But we'd also be doing ourselves a great disservice because the most beneficial aspect to healing from trauma is actually giving yourself the freedom to cuss a bitch out when you're mad. Anger is welcomed here. Big fucking emotions are welcomed here. You getting pissed off at me saying you need to take care of yourself doesn't bother me in the slightest. It's fucked up that this world has robbed you of your freedom and emotional autonomy to even need to take care of yourself in the first place. Let's get that established from the start. You have the right to disagree here. You have the right to call it out. You have the right to be mad and in your feelings. I hear you. I understand. I am here to listen and help guide you through it if I can.

Shit sucks. Life sucks. There is no amount of "meditate every day" or toxic positivity that can help soften that blow. Be mad. You are valid.

If it gets to the point where I have missed a trigger warning, or I am not tagging things responsibly, or my content is just too explicit and triggering for you to constantly see (because I do reblog my own posts), then I encourage you to tag me in the replies and ask for a better tagging system in place, or please unfollow and take care of yourself.

Safety is the backbone to everything you do. The most beneficial thing I can do for myself and everyone around me is to give you a sense of safety to model after and cultivate for your own.

I am also in the business of misery (🤧 only early 2000's emo kids will get that) . That means that I enjoy posting content that triggers people. Not because I want to trigger you. But because I want to talk about it. This is the entire basis upon which I am rebuilding my life. If I cannot have a civil conversation with someone about the way life can be triggering, then why the fuck am I here? I want to talk about it. I am begging at this point. God please give me someone who understands that at this point. As trauma survivors we go our whole lives bottling this shit inside. It is begging for a release. This is how mine has presented itself. I need to talk about the things that was done to me. I need to talk about how I am coping with that. I need to share and reach out to others who have been through the same things. I need this basic human connection to something that's a lot deeper than most would know or even hope to know. I crave the deeper nuances of understanding. How the fuck do you get that without talking about it? You don't. That's the entire premise of how I want my life to look like. Let's talk about it. Let's break it down. Let's go back to the origin and figure out what it is that needs to be moved & sorted out.

A lot of my posts will reflect this. As a result, much like this one is turning out, a lot of my posts end up being ridiculously long lines of text. I am saying this so that you will be warned of how Tumblr walls of text show up on your dash. If you don't have long texts shortened in your settings, you might wanna consider throwing that back on if you follow me. I got a lot to say, yanno? 🤧

One more thing while I've got your attention

Uh.. well I got this teddy bear, you see? His name is Oliver Stinky Jenkins the Third. And uh, he means a lot to me. I mean like, "if you take him away from me I will literally murder you" kind of way. Yanno? He's just so fucking adorable. Oh my God. His fucking face. LOOK AT HIS FUCKING FACE.

IF THATS NOT LOVE THEN I DONT KNOW WHAT IS??? HOW CAN HE EXIST??? SO PURE?? SO FULL OF LIGHT AND LOVE??? WHAT DOES HE THINK ABOUT??? YANNO???

Also this one time I was in group therapy and the therapist opened up with an ice breaker question, "what's your favorite flower?" And we all took turns sharing and when it was my turn I said, "oh uh, flowers? Uh.. idk if they're real but I really like those flowers you get in Animal Crossing when your island gets to five stars, those Lily of The Valley flowers. Those are kinda cool." And everyone got so quiet. And then someone finally said, "you know those are real flowers right? Like, they actually exist in real life." And I mean yeah that pretty much sums up my entire life! So uh. Yeah! Lily of the Valley flowers are like my favorite thing in the entire fucking world!

Thanks for reading & I'm so glad ur here 😊

#personal #about me #sorry i also forgot to mention that i talk too much #literally most of my posts are just a wall of text #like who has the fucking energy to read all that shit #i do #😭#lonelykidproblems amirite #cw csa #cw food

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noona96n · 2 years

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Omggg my feelings about the guest are so big idk if I can manage to be coherent TT but you did ask for a vomit after all hahah

So true tho aroace gilyoung!!! Honestly when I first watched the show I interpreted their (all 3) relationship as like found family like they're siblings they're best friends they're each others most important person they bicker they care SO MUCH

I was a little disappointed when I saw most if not all the fics about their relationship were romantic but like I take what I can get but your qpr version is sooo appealing yes please

[Slaps roof of Yoon] this guy can fit so much religious conflict/trauma in him!! I love how he fights with his faith and himself and his feelings like OOF and and

And the way when Hwapyung untangled their hands in the water he kept the rosary??? 🥺 like he wanted to take a reminder of what he's leaving/who he's doing this for with him? And then he keeps it when he survives?? Soft.

And Gilyoung so good so true she was probably my favourite from the three she's so headstrong and so caring and at the end she WILL get these guys to take care of themselves if it kills her

And the relationship development between all three, and just the general vibe of the show and the horror. I just love this show so much

omg yah! Gil Young is my absolute fav, hands down.

i love the trio a fckn lot and Choi Yoon will always have a soft spot in my heart (see: poetic suffering) but Gil Young takes the cake. Gil Young is everything! i admire her tenacity so much, the way she persevere and willing to do what's right, even if the law disagrees with her. she's just… S H E ! ! !

i haven't loved a female character so fully and wholeheartedly like this in a while 🥺 she has my heart and my admiration 💖

and, honestly, same… it's kinda sad that romantic fics are so predominant in the fandom… i also see them as found family. like, LITERALLY found each other. like wow… found each other in the first ep and found each other again in the last ep… full circle. fantastic metaphor ✨

anyway, as i said, i label their relationship as qpr only bcs conventional society would demand that they name their relations to one another and people would be like 'u aren't family, y'all aren't in the same family registry' or whatever tf bcs ive come to realize that a lot of people need to process all sort of relationships in relation to romance bcs they don't really understand that love doesn't only refer to romantic love smh

(also, sorry for the mini rant on love… i just hate how allos are dominating the discussion on love and refuse to see love beyond the romantic lense)

then again, i also understand the hetero ships bcs the writer and director be dropping subtle hints of possible Hwa Pyung/Gil Young and Choi Yoon/Gil Young here and there. and Hwa Pyung/Choi Yoon too lol so i can see why they ship Gil Young with the boys but nah, for me she's a kickass aroace that's just tired of all the allos around her haha

and the rosary… the fckn rosary *pterodactyl screeching* HWA PYUNG WEARS THE ROSARY!!!!!!!! i dont think rosaries are meant to be worn but Hwa Pyung just… wearing it??? around his neck????? and it sits over his chest??????? the chest where his heart is meant to be????????? F E E L S P A I N

(also, shameless self promo but i made this gifset of their hands bcs fckn PAIN)

i love Choi Yoon, a massive soft spot for him and, as my fav, i want him to ✨SUFFER✨ i wanna read a fic/meta where the Catholic side of him is explored and explained. im so fascinated by the internal conflict that's caused by his religion but im not educated or aware enough to really understand. i really wanna write a character study fic that explores Choi Yoon as a person but im not well-versed enough in catholicism 🥲 i especially wanna explore his relationship with his hyung bcs i can tell how much he loves his hyung and how much his hyung loves him as well… his hyung was somewhat lucid enough to ask if he was at cram school before he went apeshit and murdered their parents. his hyung still remembered to care for him despite everything. his hyung loves him and im reminded of the way Itachi annihilated the entire Uchiha clan but kept Sasuke alive bcs he couldn't find it in him to killed Sasuke. (sorry about the Naruto segue rip im a weeb can u tell?)

anyway, a question just pops up into my head and that is: how tf does Hwa Pyung managed to still be sane and kind after all the shit Park Il Do put him thru? he's truly such a 'vast' and kind and beautiful character.

#the guest ocn #ocn the guest #choi yoon #yoon hwa pyung #kang gil young #ask #noona96n

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