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sunshinejins · 3 years

Text

if i was dying on my knees (you’d be the one to rescue me)

(title from brother by kodaline)

so, hi! jatp has reignited my desire to write again and this time i think i might actually finish a whole fic. so uh, here it is :) please let me know if you like it, I’ll hopefully update asap, but i’m in uni so asap may be in like two weeks. unless people really like it. then, probably sooner lmao.

pairing: julie molina x luke patterson

fandom: julie and the phantoms

warnings: death bc rose, and i swear once but other than that i think nothing else?

Julie didn’t want to be frustrated, she really didn’t. In fact, she wanted to be sad, mourning, depressed, or literally anything other than slightly pissed off all the time. It’s incredibly exhausting to be angry all the time, and she felt like being sad would at least give her blood a break from simmering.

But her mom died. And apparently her body only knows how to process grief by developing a rather annoying tendency to be irritated constantly.

She tries to forget it though. Instead of wallowing in the negative feelings that cloud her family in the months following Rose Molina’s death, she throws herself into distractions. She gets a job at a coffee shop near the USC campus and puts almost all her effort into becoming a top employee. Her grades don’t drop because thankfully her professors seemed to all inherently understand that she just couldn’t sing anymore. Like at all.

The world kept spinning. Julie could only hope to hold on.

That’s how she ended up, six months later, complaining over a milk frother about her very well-intentioned best friend to the only person she knew would listen.

“Flynn just doesn’t understand,” Julie moans, shutting off the machine and dumping the contents unceremoniously into a to-go cup. Her coworker, Allison, raises an eyebrow and swipes a rag at the milk spill that pools under the cup.

“Did she try to get you to sing again?”

“Surprise karaoke night with her girlfriend and a couple kids from class. Her intentions were pure though so I don’t even know why I’m upset.” Julie shoves a lid onto the cup and slides it across the counter to a pre-occupied businessman who doesn’t notice the extra milk soaked into the bottom. Allison nods thoughtfully and starts dumping coffee beans into the espresso machine. Julie watches her with slight awe. Allison was one of those people that terrified Julie when she met her; everything about her felt polished and put together down to the blunt cut of her pale blonde hair and the curve of her smirk when she smiled. Soon enough, Julie discovered that she was as warm as any of her other friends, but it had taken a lot of closing shifts and smoothie runs to come to that conclusion.

Allison sets down the bag of coffee beans and gives Julie one of her solemn looks; it’s the sort of look where Julie thinks Allison could probably read her mind if she tried hard enough.

“Maybe they’re going about it wrong. You haven’t been around music properly in what? A year? What if you just need to sit and listen to music again to just get you used to the environment?” Julie thinks for a moment. Allison raises a fair point, and it’s the complete opposite tactic that everyone else has been trying, which has been to shove music in front of her to sing and give her expectant and hopeful looks. It’s a trial run. Something casual.

“Where would I go?” Allison smiles a bit and passes Julie a container of oat milk to put away.

“There’s a bar off Sunset that’s hosting an open mic tonight. Very relaxed and casual vibes. I could pick you up from your apartment and take you. We haven’t hung out since that movie night a while ago.” Julie hesitates. It’s not that she’s opposed to spending a night with Allison, but a small part of her feels like she’s cheating on her current circle of emotional support humans by agreeing to go. Not that her dad or Carlos or Tia would mind, but Flynn would possibly take offence and that alone stalled Julie for longer than she realized. Allison clocks the look on her face and amends the statement.

“Flynn is obviously welcome too.”

A mind reader, Julie swears.

“Hell yeah. Let’s do this.”

***

Julie’s feeling significantly less optimistic when Allison’s car has been driven away by the valet and herself, Flynn, and Allison are all standing in line outside the club. Julie can feel the bass of the songs playing more than she can hear them, but the proximity of music is enough to make her palms sweat. Other than the music the coffee shop plays and the strains of country she hears through Carlos’ wall, Julie hasn’t heard proper music since Tia Victoria sang “Amazing Grace” for her mother’s funeral. Flynn notices her nervous look.

“Chill, Jules. It’s all very chill. We’re just gonna listen to a couple bands.”

“Flynn’s right. And if at any point you want to bail, we can go get soft pretzels.”

“But we should try and stay for the whole thing!”

“However, we’re also going to respect you if you can’t do that,” Allison punctuates this sentence with a meaningful eyebrow raise and Flynn nods vigorously. Julie swallows and tries to mimic the courage she had a few hours ago. The bartender scrutinizes their IDs for a moment before allowing them to sweep into the bar and Julie’s jaw nearly drops at the volume of people contained inside. Nearly every seat is filled, and the standing areas are packed with people all jamming to the band onstage that’s currently playing what Julie has to admit is a pretty kick ass cover of “Somebody Told Me” by The Killers.

Allison somehow discovers a table near the edge of the bar, and disappears off to get them drinks. Flynn’s rocking out already, and Julie feels a few of the nerves in her stomach even out as the realization that she doesn’t have to sing sinks into her bones. Allison was right, unsurprisingly. If she focuses hard enough, she can even push out the memories of coming to these sorts of open nights with her mom. Flynn shoots her a large and grateful grin and Julie lets herself smile back. She’s taking a step. She’s doing it.

Allison returns as the band switches and a new band begins to play a hyped up cover of “Africa” by Toto. The three girls lapse into quiet appreciation of the music, with Flynn singing along to every song played, Allison bobbing her head to herself and occasionally letting out a few notes in her vocal range, and Julie just quietly appreciating the fact that she doesn’t feel like throwing up.

It’s all very casual, just like her friends said.

Until it’s not.

As the third band of the night begins their last song, Julie retreats to find the bathroom. It’s hidden nearly backstage, and she’s just about to make it to the door when she hears the panicked shouts of someone from near the curtain which separates the small backstage from the actual performing area.

“Dude, I cannot believe he bailed on us.”

“Are you really surprised? Bobby was a piece of shit.”

“Hey, he didn’t use to be!”

“Calm down, Reg. You know he’s been treating us like garbage ever since that record label thought he had a ‘marketable voice’ or whatever they said.”

“Guys he bailed on us, what are we supposed to do?”

Julie, despite all the “stranger danger” lessons running through her brain, backed up far enough to see into the backstage area. Three guys stood there, two with a guitar and a bass each and one with drumsticks he was nervously twirling. The one with the guitar had his face buried in his hands and kept swearing heavily under his breath. The other two seemed frozen in their own panic as well. Guitar Player removed his hands from his face and Julie caught a glimpse of worried hazel eyes and dark curls. Bass Player opened his arms and Guitar Player tumbled into them for a hug while Drum Player rubbed his back. The three guys looked absolutely wrecked.

Here’s the thing: Julie had an uncontrollable urge to help people. It’s how she got roped into half of Flynn’s schemes, how she ended up teaching Carlos all of his second grade science curriculum herself, and how she somehow became the unofficial backbone of her family after her mom died. Seeing three guys utterly wrecked because, presumably, their fourth bandmate had bailed on them? It activated that uncontrollable urge deep in her stomach.

Here’s another thing: Julie hasn’t played music or sang in six months. She’s had no desire to, and every time she’s tried, the distinct urge to throw up overtook her. Tonight was supposed to be the baby step that showed her whether or not music was something she could seriously consider again; whether or not she could feel that itch to perform anymore.

“Hey, do you guys need a fourth?”

She felt the itch.

The three guys looked up in varying levels of shock. Drum Player recovered first, and stepped towards her hesitantly, wringing his pink hoodie as he did.

“Um, what?”

“It sounded like someone bailed on you. I can play. If you need it.” Guitar Player recovers next and nearly bounds over to her in barely contained excitement.

“You can play rhythm guitar?”

“No,” the three boys deflate, “I can play piano though.” Guitar Player tilts his head to the side as though playing a melody through in his head. He turns back to the other two.

“Bright could fit piano.”

“We never wrote the music for a piano component,” Drum Player wrinkles his nose.

“I did,” Guitar Player admits. The other two don’t look phased, though Bass Player does raise an eyebrow. “I was bored!”

“Okay, but we don’t want to put you out,” Drum Player turns back to Julie and she swallows.

“No, I offered. Let me see the music.”

“Okay, but you have like ten minutes!” Bass Player finally chips in with a surprisingly cheerful tone. Guitar Player hands Julie what looks like a piece of notebook paper and her eyes skim the words and notes. It’s feasible for sure, but she can feel the nerves prickling at her stomach. Guitar Player leans into her space and she clocks how ridiculously attractive he is up close. He gives her a smile.

“We alternative verses like this, see? And I don’t know your range, but we can figure that out on the go.” Julie gives him a small smile.

“Somewhere between mezzo-soprano and soprano.”

“We can work with that.” Guitar Player seems to vibrate with energy. “Are you sure you wanna do this?”

“No pressure,” Bass Player adds.

“Like seriously, none. We can just go home and cry,” Drum Player says. Julie isn’t sure. She really isn’t. In fact, she’s pretty sure she should just run away and hope she never sees these guys again.

“I’m sure.”

Well, that’s that.

Guitar Player sends her a smile that looks genuinely like someone has funnelled sunlight into his body and Julie feels the nerves lift for half a second. Then, they’re called to the stage and all of a sudden she feels like she could puke all over again. Guitar Player grabs her hand and squeezes it.

“You got this.”

Julie files out with the rest of the band and she’s extremely grateful her friends aren’t sitting in her direct line of sight. The piano is definitely worn out from use, but her fingers settle naturally on the keys and Julie tries to focus on the budding itch to perform in her stomach rather than the urge to throw up. She’s supposed to start this song. This song that she became aware of ten minutes earlier. She catches Guitar Player’s eye and he nods encouragingly.

She presses down on the keys and opens her mouth.

Sometimes I think I'm falling down

I wanna cry, I'm calling out

For one more try to feel alive

And when I feel lost and alone

I know that I can make it home

Fight through the dark and find the spark

#julie and the phantoms #julie molina #luke patterson #julie x luke #julie molina x luke patterson #juke #jukebox #jukebox fanfiction #juke fanfiction #julie x luke fanfiction #reggie peters #alex mercer #jatp #my writing #julie and the phantoms fanfiction #can i possibly tag this with anything else??? idk

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elizabethvaughns · 3 years

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I listened to if then recently and I'm CONFUSED. I also watched a bootleg wich didn't help since I'm not really good in English and the bootlegs have bad audio quality. Do you have tips how I can understand it? Or can you explain it?

It seems like a cool musical and I wanna understand it so badly!!!

if you want me to explain it, i'd be happy to :)

(when i first watched it, i only understood some of the dialogue but i didn't know about the libretto so i just browsed the tumblr tag and hoped for the best lmao.)

i'd recommend reading the libretto of the musical if you want the exact dialogue, lyrics, and locations.

@ifthenslashers has it linked in their pinned post (thank you for that, by the way💙. your resources are very helpful :))

but the libretto is very long, so i'll try to summarize it best i can(under the cut).

i hope this is helpful!

elizabeth vaughn moves back to new york city after divorcing her husband oren after 12 years. as he's waiting for her, her best friend (and ex-boyfriend this is relevant), lucas talks to this kindergarten teacher, who walked up to him and started talking to him. when elizabeth comes to the park(they're meeting in a park), both lucas and kate(the kindergarten teacher) walk up to her. it turns out that kate is elizabeth's neighbor. kate asks elizabeth to go with her and meet new romantic prospects, have fun. she calls her liz. lucas(a housing activist) asks elizabeth to come with him to meet the other members of the new york citizens for change and to go to his street action in the subway. he calls her beth. this is where the timelines diverge.

liz-verse (liz chooses kate):

so liz goes with kate to get coffee. josh barton, an army doctor who just came back from his second tour, walks up to liz. he awkwardly flirts with her. liz gets a call from a number with the area code (347). she doesn't recognize it so she doesn't pick it up. josh asks for liz's number, liz says it's a new number so she doesn't know it, josh asks her if she believes in fate, she says she doesn't, she walks away. ("what if?")

the next day, liz, kate, and anne (kate's girlfriend) are on the way to brooklyn on the subway. the subway car stops for a bit due to a street action (lucas's group's). the three talk about men, and kate keeps pointing out different men on the subway. josh(also on the subway) walks up to liz. again awkwardly flirts. he's from nebraska(are any falsettos mutual reading this? if so, you know exactly what i'm thinking of lmao). kate conducts an instant public poll about fate and whether liz should take josh's number. liz eventually gives in and takes josh's number. ("it's a sign")

over the course of the next few days? weeks? kate sets liz up on various blind dates. during one of them, liz sees josh in the distance. she runs up to him and hugs him in a last-ditch attempt to end that date. she pretends josh is a very old friend of hers, josh plays along. it's been three times that the two met now. josh asks liz out, she says yes, they go on a date that very evening. they end it at liz's apartment("map of new york"). liz expresses her apprehension with...relationships due to the probabilities. josh basically says "you never know"(bc that's the name of the song) and you can never really tell what's going to happen. ("you never know")

soon, josh and liz go on a date to a baseball game(yes, my dear falsettos mutuals, that is absolutely correct). kate, anne, and lucas tag along. soon enough, josh and liz set lucas up with josh's best friend, david. lucas and david hit it off. ("ain't no man manhattan")

liz and josh hang out in liz's apartment, again. josh reveals that he was on the way to the airport when he was on the subway that day and he didn't go back to nebraska bc of her. they make out, liz runs into the bathroom to get her shit together, they....do the do.("what the fuck?").

the next morning, they wake up. they talk about their relationship. they say "i love you".("here i go")

in a few weeks?(by my best estimation), it's liz's birthday! lucas sees liz pouring her champagne out of her glass and confronts her about it. he and david find out she's pregnant. david asks lucas to move in. he says yes. liz tells josh about the pregnancy. kate proposes to anne. she says yes. josh proposes to liz. she says yes. ("surprise")

a c t t w o

josh and liz get married! ("this day/walking by a wedding")

liz is pregnant(duh). she reads in the newspaper that the idiot mayor's nephew's incompetence with city planning cost the life of a child. josh sings about his excitement for a kid, they have their first son, jake. ("hey kid")

time skip some two years.

liz and josh had a second kid, cooper. lucas and david are babysitting jake. lucas is riding on a skateboard with the stroller. liz is (justifiably) bewildered. david's like he's belted in and has a helmet, he's safe. liz and jake go back home, bc liz is free due to spring break(she teaches urban planning in a uni) and josh is on days.

david talks to lucas about having a kid. lucas is apprehensive because...reasons. they sing "best worst mistake" which is objectively the cutest song in the whole show. they say "i love you" to each other for the first time. ("best worst mistake")

josh gets deployed. liz is mad, she tells him to quit. he says he can't. soon enough, he has to go. after some time, some officers come to liz's door, tell her josh died due to an rpg attack on the medical facility. lucas helps her with the kids, she tells him to go, stay with david. ("i hate you")

(sidenote: i'm on the verge of tears rn bc i'm speedrunning the whole musical in my head. sorry.)

liz is grieving for josh. ("you learn to live without")

the gang(minus anne) goes to josh's funeral. it turns out kate and anne divorced because anne was cheating on kate. kate and lucas ask liz about giving josh an honor guard. she says that he wanted to be cremated and have his remains scattered over the platte river in nebraska(who even knew there was a river in nebraska?). david says that he's imagined his life without josh the past few weeks: josh was his best friend, he introduced him to the man he loves, etc. he asks liz that if she met josh the next day while still knowing that she would lose him, would she avoid taking that chance to avoid the loss, or take the chance anyways? ("what would you do?"). lucas, kate, and david go to get the car. liz has a revelation, of sorts. she promises josh to "start over" with her life every day, and, in a sense, not wallow in the what-might-be's("always starting over").

time skip a few months. liz meets stephen(you'll find out who he is, soon enough) and his wife cathy. he offers her a job in the department of city planning. she takes it. lucas and david are walking in the park with their kid, huck, in the background. lucas walks up to liz, sits down, they talk. lucas reveals he's always been a bit in love with her, liz is surprised. they are the brotp and i love them. ("what if?(reprise)")

the end.

beth-verse(beth chooses lucas):

beth gets a call, area code (347). lucas informs her it's the nyc area code. she picks up. it's stephen, one of beth's old friends from grad school. he offers her a job under him as deputy director of city planning. lucas tells her not to go because he doesn't like stephen and he thinks a job with the city does not make enough of an impact. beth and lucas reminisce about their college days. lucas kisses beth. josh, who is seen walking toward beth in the background, walks away. beth recoils. it's all awkward. beth says she'll still come to the street action. ("what if?")

lucas and beth get bench warrants because of the street action.

beth goes to meet stephen. she's a bit hesitant at first bc she doesn't have experience. but she interviews for the job and she gets it. kate sets beth up on numerous blind dates. on one of them, she discreetly texts lucas to help her out. he comes, she runs up to him and hugs him, the date takes his leave. lucas and beth head to lucas's apartment. beth gets a text from stephen. lucas is still miffed about beth taking a city job. lucas tells her it's a bad idea to get involved with the boss. beth denies that she is in the first place. ("map of new york")

time skip. a couple weeks.

the nycc is protesting the redevelopment of the far west side (bc,,, gentrification). a project that, coincidentally, beth is working on.

beth and stephen go to a baseball game. stephen asks beth to convince lucas to back down from the project. beth does so by promising lucas to introduce him to an editor she knows if he backs down from the project.

time skip, the project is a success. ("ain't no man manhattan")

a few weeks? later, stephen comes to beth's place with some plans. she kisses him. he kisses back. he leaves bc he's married. beth calls lucas, who comes right by.

beth and lucas hook up. ("what the fuck?")

beth tells lucas she's sent in her resignation. he tells her that even though he despises stephen, this cannot be the reason that she quits.

lucas wants to know the status of their relationship, beth claims it was purely a one-time thing. lucas tells her he loves her even if she doesn't love him back and that he will always be there for her. ("you don't need to love me")

beth goes to work. she hires a young grad, elena. kate comes in, tells her that she's her kindergarten class's american hero. stephen comes to beth with the resignation, she rips it up. stephen asks beth to do the speech for the project bc the deputy mayor resigned and he has to step up (which means beth is the new director of city planning! yay!). ("no more wasted time")

it's beth's birthday! beth, kate, anne, elena, and lucas have a small get together. when lucas is off getting the cake, the girls find out that beth is pregnant(because...lucas). beth is confused bc she doesn't know what to do with the pregnancy and the job opportunity. elena tells her to follow what she wants to do. lucas is smashed. he asks beth to move in with him. she refuses. he proposes. again, she refuses. ("surprise")

(it is implied that kate proposes to anne here as well)

a c t. t w o

beth walks by a wedding and contemplates shit about weddings.("this day/walking by a wedding") she aborted the pregnancy.

beth is babysitting elena's kid. elena tells beth that she's moving with her husband to oregon. beth is upset because elena reminds her a lot of herself.

2.5 years after the end of act one, we see lucas in the park. he has published his book. a young woman(paulette) comes up to him, asks for an autograph, implies he's old, you know how it goes. beth walks up to lucas. we learn that lucas has avoided all contact with beth bc he had to grapple with the fact that she aborted the fetus. lucas asks beth if she had, at least, thought about the possibility of the two having a kid together. the two contemplate various alternate universes. beth asks if they can still stay friends. lucas wonders if this was his last chance at love. he walks away. he almost runs into a bicyclist—david. ("some other me")

beth is at an awards ceremony preparing to receive an award. stephen comes to say hi. he asks her to come work with him in albany. beth refuses. we learn that stephen has divorced his wife, cathy. ("map of new york(reprise)")

(ok i'm crying again one sec)

beth learns to cope with being alone(romantically).("you learn to live without")

she goes on a flight to london, which has to make an emergency landing in maine. kate decides to divorce anne because she was flirting with someone else(and kate thinks anne doesn't love her anymore). beth calls lucas, and they mend their friendship.("the moment explodes")

lucas tells beth that kate and anne are getting divorced. beth rushes to the bookstore where the two are dealing with the papers. she convinces them not to get divorced. ("love while you can")

a few weeks later, beth, lucas, kate, and anne meet in the park. kate won the nyc teacher of the year award. beth is planning to run for the city council. josh, who just returned from his third tour overseas, walks up to beth. he says hi, asks her out. she says yes, but her friends are waiting for her. lucas and kate pretend to be engrossed in their own thing. beth agrees to go on a date with josh that very day. ("what if?(reprise)")

the end.

#if/then mutuals feel free to clarify/add on/correct me #ik the timeline switches can make it kinda hard to follow #i hope i summarized it better than wikipedia #long post #anon tag #hmm might rewatch if/then tonight #if/then

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aloera · 3 years

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The ask prompt is too long to fit into an ask TT_TT but here's the doc for it docs(.)google(.)com/document/d/1yDI7iFRhOJ8ENv_IwZAo3rDSUqj80EiJROS10RzRbj4/edit

the lengths u are going for this,,, much appreciated you're very sweet!!!

prompts + answers under the cut!!

INTRODUCTION

Name: aloera

AO3 account: aloera

Fandoms you write for: bnha

How many stories have you written so far: 19

FANFICTION PROFILE

What's your favorite fandom to write for? hmm,,, used to do pjo and eah (ever after high) and eah was fun as fuck i will say!!! i think bnha is my fav mostly bc i made the most friends in this fandom :D

What's your favorite character/person to write for? bkg and kirishima!! cannot choose do not make me <3

Fic you'd want to improve? probably what we deserve? i rushed the beginning and the confession is a bit stilted imo

Hardest fic you've written? between lion and men -_- bc there is so much canon compliant stuff i've gotta write out before i get to the divergence and its HARD

Easiest fic you've written? come home to me!!! it happened so easily,,, no second guessing no writers block just vibes <33 was lovely i miss it

What would you say is the most "famous" fic you've ever written? also probably come home to me? its got the most interaction

first line of the first fic you've ever written and published. [not including my 2014 ffnet fics] "The bell rings, class starts, and Katsuki and Midoriya are inexplicably absent." from come home to me

Have you ever done a collab with another writer? yes!!!!! on two separate occasions and its so fucking fun i highly recommend trying it out its the best

Do you beta? if asked but honestly im a shit beta lmao

Do you like joining fic fests/exchanges? depends on what i have going on irl but in general yeah!!

FANFICTION PREFERENCES

Fluff or angst? definitely fluff

"OCs" or "Reader" inserts? reader inserts!! have been going ham on them recently

Blurbs or drabbles? blurbs!!

One thing you love about fanfiction i just. i really love slice of life romance?? and most media doesn't give you that bc its dedicated to plot and action and that's valid!! but fanfiction fills in the gap which is really nice

One thing you don't like about fanfiction most of the stuff i don't like is less about actual fanfiction and more about how people behave about it

What is/are your favorite fandom author/authors? IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!!! TURN IT UP!!!

bnha: hiuythn, rae_tnub, Moniix, Ata_Lanta, wrunic, chezka, PurplePersnickety, surveycorpsejean, mahadevi, arxaris, deviance, Oceanbreeze7, MikeWritesThings, bonnia, wonhaebunny, dinosuns

voltron: hiuythn, Oceanbreeze7, DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee, arahir, dinosuns,

and honorable mention to loveclouds im not even in the haikyuu fandom i just love their fics So Much

these are just the ones off the top of my head i have so many favourites idc if i'm only supposed 2 have one!! die mad about it!!!

What is your favorite trope? secret relationship + relationship reveal til the day i die babie <3 <3

Least favorite trope? hm,,, probably just like. angst lmao i cannot stand 90% of it

A fanfiction cliché that you can't help but love? coffeeshop aus,,,, so good

Do you have a type when it comes to pairings? the otp where its like. piece of shit + himbo = love. ex. krbk, catradora, jade/beck

Favorite setting/au? hm,,, truly i cannot pick one KGKSJNHKj but i really like college aus!! and modern aus!! and roommate aus!!

Explain the meaning of your favorite line of dialogue you've written as if someone hasn't read it in context. “He doesn’t know,” Katsuki says, softly. “My timer stopped and nothing happened. He’s not mine.”

the line is from what we deserve!! it's a soulmate au where your timer counts down to the moment that you meet your soulmate!! bakugou's timer ends at USJ when he and kirishima attack kurogiri at the same time (impulsive kings <33) but kirishima's timer doesn't end until kamino because that's when he accepts himself as bakugous soulmate!! unfortunately, when bakugous timer has reached 0, he turned to see that kirishima's was still ticking and therefore believes that kirishima isn't his soulmate.

this line just,, idk. it's really sad. bakugou is such an action-driven character? if something doesn't go his way he Makes it go his way. he's got this insanely volatile quirk and he's got impeccable control of it!! but his love for kirishima isn't something that he can change and he's not going to ruin kirishima's chance of finding his own soulmate because he loves him and wants him to be happy. i really wanted to focus on how resigned he is? and how unusual that is for a character like him.

Favorite trope/genre to write? again, secret relationship with relationship reveals <33 fluff in general is my wheelhouse!!!

A trope/genre you haven't written but think would be a fun challenge? idk if this counts?? have been working on some dead dove concepts!! its super different from what i normally write so its a cool challenge

The one trope/concept you'll never touch and why probably cheating/infidelity?? it just looks,,, super difficult to write well and i don't have enough of an interest in it to try it out

Which do you prefer to write: longer or shorter fics? shorter!! low attention span gang <3

Ideal length to read? 5-10k?

Ideal length to write? 4-8k!!

How long was the longest fic you've ever written? control fraek is around 28k i think?

Have you ever written an AU? yeah!! i've done restaurant au's, soulmate au's, pro hero aus, and fantasy aus (general, not the bnha fantasy ending)

What's your favorite AU trope? hm,, probably when two people in authority are in a secret relationship? ceo's/uni professors/etc etc

Have you ever written smut? yeah!! was. difficult tho

What's your comfort genre? (the one you fall on most in writing/reading) fluff,,, hurt/comfort,,, fix-it fics with happy endings <3

If you were to start writing in other fandoms, which would they be? maybe jjk?? the characters are really cool!!!! fr i might go back to my ever after high roots i love the characters and setting so Much its so fun!!! idec if no ones into it anymore!!!!!

Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? i've had people say they saw the mention of buff hagakure and recognized it was me so. probably that skdjhnksjd

WRITING STYLE

How would you describe your style? i tend to use shorter sentences and pretty simple words i think? and i gravitate towards lighthearted concepts that allow for ensemble casts and humour!!

Describe your style in three words romcom but fanfic

Favorite words to use when writing? the word reverent!! fuckin love including it!!

Dialogue tags or no dialogue tags? (she said, he said, they said, etc) dialogue tags!!!

Favorite dialogue tag (other than said, if you use them) again idk if this counts but "they said softly" is unmatched

Long sentences vs short vs a mix short <33

What colors would you use to describe your writing? hm,,, depends on the fic i would say?? control fraek is dark green to me?? kinda like a forest at night yk?? scary but there's still life there. sugar cookies is yellow like early morning sunlight, when it rains is yellowy-orange like a caution sign. not gonna list all of them cause theres a lot its just. do u get it? the colours change based on the vibe of the fic.

What song or music genre would you use to describe your writing? think. i am constantly trying to emulate that moment at the end of wasteland baby when hozier goes "im in love/im in love with you."

What kind of metaphors do you rely on? religious metaphors my beloved <33 they're just so pretty!!! i also love comparing stuff to water for some reason?? like that ocean vuong quote thats like "what are you now?/water." it goes hard!!!

What's something you'd say is experimental in your writing at this time? definitely action!! i have,,, no idea how to write it so anything i do is really just me playing around and seeing what works and what doesn't

Do you prefer to write by hand or to type? i've tried both!! personally i prefer typing because it goes way faster but i will say that writing by hand lets me get words down when i'm going through writer's block

What is your preferred place to write (notebook, laptop, cellphone, etc.)? laptop!!

What app/apps do you use to write (word, notepad, etc.)? google docs skjdnkjh its fine on desktop but mobile is,,,,, disgusting

Do you keep a notebook or file/notes page in your phone/device for notes on your writing? ngl i just have everything organized in my drive?? one folder per fandom and then sub folders for ideas+hcs, unfinished wips, and finished fics. multichaps get sub sub folders so i can organize outlines and drafts

Do you listen to music to help you write? yeah!! playlists organized by fic vibe :D

Where do you usually go to write (bedroom, living room, etc.)? mostly in my bedroom??? but moving around to different stops helps too i think!!

How long does it usually take for you to write? again this depends on what i have going on irl, how attached i am to the idea, my mindset at the time, etc!! i am,, the least consistent person skjnhdkjh.

What's your favorite font to use when writing? times new roman my beloved

Other writing habits? sometimes i'll write in the dark?? bad for my eyes but for some reason it gets the words flowing

CONCEPTUALIZATION

How do you conceptualize your ideas? (See specific moments like they're a movie, writing specific lines in your head, don't know until you put the words on paper, etc.) i tend to get inspiration from movies, books, poems, or other fics!!! sometimes one line just makes me go oh,, i want to write something like that,,, and then it helps me create an idea that makes me feel the same way?? i did this with control fraek!!!! i wanted a scenario where bakugou was cold and calculating and i was like hm. to do that he’d have to be focusing on something important. and from there i was able to flesh out the rest of the idea.

Which comes first: the pairing or the plot? with krbk its always always the pairing,, i'll be sitting there like wow <33 i love them <33 what if one of them had amnesia <33 (which, yes, wip!!) otherwise it's usually the plot!! and i slot in characters that i feel make sense

Have you ever used a prompt? yeah!! used a prompt for wlw week 2020 and it was fun as hell

Do you write around the story around a specific scene you want to get to or do you start from a plot idea definitely the first!!!! i almost always write like,,, a super messy scene thats 90% dialogue, keep it in my head, and then write the entire fic around that one moment

Do you find that you include a projection of some part of yourself in the way you write a character? a lot of the time when i write love confessions or love in general i'll have one of the characters think or say that the other person makes their head quiet? and it's because that's what i feel whenever i'm in love?? a quiet mind. i project on characters yeah but i think most of the projection actually goes to the way that i write love

Do you research some of the things you write deeply, partially and kind of wing the rest, or play entirely by ear (in this case, go with whatever base knowledge of the subject you have)? most of the time if i do research it'll be about the setting (ex. the izakaya in to have and to hold) or if i'm having the characters interact with an object that they like. need to know how to use (me, in control fraek: google. hey google. does someone die if they get shot in the foot??? no???? awesome thank u <3)

Have you ever had an idea for a story and forgot about it? lmaoo yeah all the time i'll find like 500-2k words of concepts in my gdocs like i do. not remember this at all

Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? probably krbk secret relationship lmao

Are there concepts you've tried that turned out better than expected? yeah!! i fully thought the action in control fraek would be awful but it turned out not bad??? which im happy with

Are there concepts you've tried that turned out worse than you expected? again, what we deserve, i personally think it would have worked out better if i'd paced it slower and drawn out the pining but i. do not feel like going back to fix it so its staying the way that it is. pining is so fucking hard to do AHHHH i get so tired with it!!! im like just date already!!!!

PROCESS

How do you come up with titles? in rare occasions (literally. all my multichaps for some reason) the title comes after writing like .5 words of the first chapter im like YES this is it!!!!! sometimes i write the whole thing and pick out one line that fits (what i did with come home to me) a lot of the time i just. steal from songs or poems that i like

What's your favorite emotion to cause on your readers? i like making people happy!!!! love when people comment saying they're cheered up

What's your favorite emotion to write? lovelovelovelovelovelove

Have you ever cried or felt any emotion while reading something you've written? never cried?? but sometimes i'll rereading my hurt/comfort fics 4. yk. comfort

Do you write in order or whatever comes to you? in order!! unless i have a scene that i Need to write and i'll quickly jot it down so that i don't forget

Usual way you procrastinate while writing? ...doing asks like this, making playlists, discord, watching netflix. what don't i do smh

Do you outline or free write? i am. so shit at outlines. i mostly free write and write lil notes for stuff that i wanna add later

Do you set word goals or scene goals (scenes you want to include)? yes!! like i said i'll write loose notes for scenes that i want to add later!! it gives me something to write towards :D

What do you consider when writing your scenes? what goes into making the atmosphere and mood you want? to set a scene i do two things? the first is like,, the five senses bc that always sets the scene really well and makes it feel Real. i'll visualize stuff in my head like its a movie and write out what i would want to tell the set designer?? if the lights are low, if the space is busy, if it's supposed to exude comfort or not.

for putting forward the character's mood one thing i've found that makes a difference is sentence length!! long sentences are good for making a character seem flustered and nervous or not really in control of their emotions? good for love confessions. short sentences are good for when the character is focused on something or short on time. good for fights!!

What's something you never considered to include in your writing that you can't leave out now? def buff hagakure,,,, once i thought of it i was like. if i don't include this at least once in every single fic how could i look at myself in the mirror!!!!!! how could i face anyone!!!!

How do you start a story? establishing a fact about the character or describing the setting! option a is one single thread of gold, option b is between lion and men

How do you end a story? either by tying it back to the beginning or doing like a funny kind of closing??? option a is sugar cookies, option b is a godless society

How do you get out of writer's block? change something!! move something!! i go from typing to handwriting, moving from my bedroom to my living room, switching wips to work on something else!! i do sprints as well?? give myself like fifteen minutes to write something and sometimes 200 words opens up the way for another 2k. sometimes i'll just delete like 500 words and start fresh

Do you edit? or do you toss your writing out there? i edit!!! i'll go over it myself then send it to one or two betas (bee my beloved <33)

How do you edit? do you use spellcheck, grammar checkers, etc? bee is my grammar checker bc he is So Good with grammar. i use grammarly as well for spellcheck stuff mostly?? sometimes my edit process is just like "am i tired of looking at this!! yes <3" and then i post it

PROGRESS

Do you usually like what you write? yeah!!! i post stuff that makes me happy and that i'm fine with rereading!!! i write stuff for self-indulgence reasons first and foremost and i think my writing reflects that sjhnksj

Have you ever written something you didn't like but posted anyways? nope!! even what we deserve i LIKED even if i see a lot of room 4 improvement!! if i don't like smth it's not getting posted

Do you find yourself rereading your writing often? yeah!! the reason i wrote so much krbk secret relationship is because i loved it but i'd read all that there was so i just,, wrote more,, ngl its kinda nice being in a place where i actually like my writing bc i can write stuff that i want to see and really enjoy it!!

Can you tell us anything about your current WIP? sure!! i'm currently working on when it rains which is a fic where bakugou gets hit by a crying quirk!! i'm gonna be using it to explore So Much of all might's character and his relationships with bakugou and aizawa (and i think some people from his past!!)

Can you give us a sneak peek on your current WIP? “You did something. What the hell did you do?” Kirishima sounds pissed off. It would amuse Katsuki if he wasn’t fighting just to stay standing.

“Nothing he didn’t ask for,” Shinsou replies.

“K’ri… shima,” Katsuki croaks out. “‘S fine. Not him.”

His chest collapses back into the familiar dry heaving after that but Kirishima shuts up. He doesn’t apologize to Shinsou.

Kirishima’s a good friend, stubborn and loyal. He stands by Katsuki’s side like an attack dog, blocking him from the view of anyone ogling at his tears.

The last line you've written Ochako knows more than she'd realized. She knows enough to keep her guard up.

It’s not enough.

Open a wip. what’s the first line?

Katsuki wakes up feeling like absolute fucking shit.

INSIGHT

What's your favorite thing about writing? touched on this before but it's mainly just being able to write the things that i want to see and actually enjoy them!!! actually reread them!!!! i thought "wouldn't it be cool if bkg and kirishima owned a restaurant together" and then i wrote it and i like it enough to reread it!!!! being able to create content for myself makes me. so happy

How do you keep yourself inspired? this is gonna sound narcissistic maybe but honestly i'm just really excited about my ideas and where i'm gonna take them and the idea of "i'm gonna get to That scene" keeps me going through the entire thing. also my friends!!!! i'll talk to them about fics and their reactions keep me hyped up enough to finish!!!!

What is your favorite thing to write? just,, slice of life romance,,, stuff thats silly and makes people laugh!!

What do you think your strengths are in writing? i'm good with dialogue!! i do lil voice acting sessions with myself to make sure everything sounds natural and like it's coming from that character skhjnskj

i'm comfortable with my portrayal of love as well??? i spend a lot of time thinking about what it is exactly that i'm trying to get across and i think it turns out well!!

What are things you wish you could practice more? on one hand i wanna get better at writing angst on the other hand i dislike writing angst. do you see my issue

One way you've improved your writing since you began? characterization!! i think i've gotten better at writing characters that are all Different and bring different things to the table!!! i used to project a lot more and it would compromise the characterization because the character was like 70% me and 30% them? not to say that projection is bad but if you do it too much it just,, doesn't read like the character and from a reader's standpoint the narrative can become less compelling

One aspect of writing you're still working on? writing action!!! i. literally hate writing it but i write for a fandom about superheroes so. Unfortunately i gotta learn.

A piece of writing advice you've learned while writing saw this on another tumblr post but they said sometimes if you're struggling with a scene, the problem is five lines back. i've found that to be true!!!! sometimes u gotta delete a chunk and start a little ways back!! i did this with too busy being yours because i was stuck for Weeks and i deleted like 25% of what i had but it helped me actually finish it :D

A bit of writing advice you can't stand when people shit on show don't tell for being overrated lmao bc when u read their writing you can Tell

Something you wish you knew when you first started writing? ,,,,honestly i kind of wish i could know some of the stuff that i used to when i first started writing?? technically i'm better now but creatively i was must better when i wasn't stressing about whether anyone would like what i was writing. so i guess i wish i knew that i should keep that confidence? i kinda wish that i wasn't as insecure about other people's writing styles because i never used to be!!

Something you've learned in life that you apply in writing there's no point in feeling inferior?? writing one genre isn't better than the other. being in one fandom isn't better than being in another. the kind of language you use or the length of your paragraphs- none of that stuff like. matters. what matters is that you're having fun and happy with what you're creating!!!! enjoy other peoples writing but don't let it make you feel worse about yours :D

#AHH ive wanted to answer these for so long...... bro fr i was so happy when u sent these!!! like wow!! finally got sent one!!!#sorry for how long the responses are idk how to be concise #asks #anon #a(lore)a

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just-my-sickly-pride · 4 years

Text

Swansong || Roger Taylor x fem!Reader

summary || sequel to ‘debut’. it’s sixteen years after you and roger first started dating. fourteen years since you graduated university. eight years since you married someone else. three weeks since you realised your husband was cheating on you. what are the chances that you run into roger, after all this time?

rating || family friendly, folks, apart from a few swear words here and there. just angst. pure angst, basically. with a christmassy, festive vibe.

word count || 5.8k (somehow, for fuck’s sake)

author’s notes || so, i’ve had quite a few people ask about a ‘debut’ sequel. surprise! here’s the sequel that i’m sure none of you were after. the idea just popped into my head and, despite the fact that i do not like reading angst (or writing, generally), here i am. also, this is a much older roger than i normally write for (he’s 52 in this), but i still wouldn’t call it pd roger by any means. this video is what i pictured when i was writing him - he was actually 52 years old in 1999, so it works perfectly. roger talks about his kids in this fic, but bc this is an alternate universe, of course, i’ve not used the names of his real kids. (sidenote: there’s an oc in here whose name is naoise - it’s pronounced ‘neesha’!)

masterlist

“I can’t do this anymore. I have to break up with him right now. I have to.”

Justine grabs your wrist, snatching your phone from your hand. “No, are you serious? What are you going to do, break up with him over the phone? Text him?”

Your bottom lip trembles, and you feel tears well in your eyes. “I can’t deal with this anymore, Juss. He hates me.”

“He doesn’t hate you.” Justine sets your phone down on the table, and cups your cheeks in her hands, brushing the tears away with her thumbs. “Hey. Hey. It’s okay. Deep breath. In and out. With me.”

You follow her lead – a shaky breath in, a shaky breath out.

“I’m sorry you’re going through this,” she murmurs. “I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone, especially not my best friend. But you have to hold it together until after Christmas, okay? Just two more weeks. For April.”

You nod, and take another steady breath. “For April.” April, your daughter, the love of your life.

“Let’s just go to this stupid party, all right?” Justine said. “Go fix your make-up, I’ll call an Uber.”

You nod, she gives you a warm, sad smile, and you head to the bathroom.

You take a drink of water and sigh heavily, then dig out your make-up to fix your foundation and mascara. Fuck him, you think to yourself. Fuck him for ruining everything. Eight years of marriage. Hope that side piece was worth it.

You’re not sure if he knows that you know about… all of that. But you have your suspicions. He’s not exactly trying to hide it. Coming home late, smelling of another woman’s perfume, having no other excuse other than he’s ‘working late’. He’s been telling you for weeks that he’s just been ‘too tired’ for sex.

But he’s with April tonight, while you and Justine are heading to the Christmas party of an old friend from uni.

You tell yourself it’ll be a fun night. It’ll be nice to get away from home for a few hours, anyway.

The host, Naoise, welcomes the both of you with a glamorous smile and kisses on the cheek, and waves you over with a manicured hand to the drinks table. You recognise a few familiar faces in the room, but you and Justine stick mostly together. Christmas music – mostly Michael Bublé, from what you can hear – croons in the background, just underneath the hum of conversation.

“She was always good at throwing these things, wasn’t she?” Justine murmurs into her glass of champagne.

You nod and hum in agreement, trying to surreptitiously cram an appetiser into your mouth and eat it as quickly as possible. “Nice of her to invite us,” you manage to mumble around the mouthful.

“Yeah,” Justine says. “Naoise was always lovely.”

“Have you met her kids?”

“Yeah. She had them young, didn’t she? Right out of uni? They’re, what, ten and twelve now?”

You finally swallow the food. “Christ.” You pick up your wine and take a gulp to wash it down. “Uh, yeah, I think so. She and Chin got married, like, a month after we graduated or something. Can you imagine April being that old?”

Justine snorts. “I thought I had my kids young. But she seems happy, so I’m happy for her.”

“Mm, yeah.” You take another sip of wine. “Wow. Getting married at, like, twenty-one, twenty-two. Oof.”

“Right?” Justine says lowly. “Like, I would’ve been terrified. I was dating Amanda.”

Your eyes widen. “Holy shit, Amanda. I forgot all about her.”

“I know! I can’t believe we dated for almost three years. Even I forget about her sometimes. Can’t imagine being married to her. Eugh. Plus, if Amanda hadn’t dumped me six months after graduation, then I never would’ve met Jules. I wouldn’t have the kids I have now.”

“Weird.”

“Yeah. Weird.” Justine’s eyes idly meander over the mingling crowd, and then she looks to you. “Out of everyone you dated at uni, who would you have married? If you had to choose.”

You sigh. “Juss, I don’t know if I wanna talk about marriage and stuff right now. Not marriage when it’s got anything to do with me, anyway.”

“Right, of course. Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” You give her a reassuring smile.

The two of you drink in silence. You know you should be mingling with everyone else, making small talk, but it’s been a rough couple of weeks, to put it lightly. And everyone will be asking how’s Will? and all of those casual questions and you’ll feel overwhelmingly uncomfortable and bitter that everyone is prying into your personal life, even if they aren’t, they’re just being polite, and that’s just too much to think about.

So staying by the snacks table it is.

“Roger,” you say softly.

“Hm?”

You chew on the inside of your cheek, and glance at Justine. “I, um– I would’ve married Roger. You remember him? Second year? The older guy?”

Justine gives you a look. “Uh, do I remember him? The guy who was, like, twenty years older than you and you lost your virginity to? He paid you for it? Yes, I remember him.”

“Sixteen years, thanks,” you correct her. “And he didn’t mean to pay me for it, it was a mix-up, his friends set him up, and– oh, whatever, you know the story, I don’t know why I’m telling you again.”

“I’m just saying, hard to forget something like that,” Justine says. “You would’ve married him?”

You nod. “Given time, yeah, I think so. There was just something about him, y’know? I mean, it makes sense why we didn’t work out. He was older, and I had uni, and I’d never really dated before, all of that. I think it was just a matter of wrong place, wrong time. But he’s – well, everyone has their ‘one that got away’, don’t they?”

“I guess,” Justine says. She thinks for a moment, and then says, “I used to think mine was the girl I dated all through high school, Kayla. Then I met Jules.”

“Really?” you say. “You don’t have anyone who you think would have been your perfect match, had things just been a little different?”

Justine shrugs a shoulder. “Maybe at the time. But not now.”

You look away, and finish the rest of your wine. “I’m getting another glass,” you mutter.

“Hey, hey, [Y/N],” Justine says, taking your wrist. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.”

You shake your head. “It’s not your fault.” You hesitate, and then say, “Am I a bad wife for– for thinking that? Even after Will and I got married, I– I mean, I never wished I had Roger instead of Will, but I just always knew that, if things had been different, then I know I would’ve ended up with Roger.”

“No,” Justine says firmly. “No. You were never a bad wife. You’re still not. Don’t ever think that.”

You take a moment to drink this in, and then say, “You know, I’m the same age now that Roger was when I first started dating him?” You let out a laugh. “Oh my God, I’m thirty-six. When the fuck did that happen?”

Justine chuckles. “I know. I still feel twenty.”

“I still feel seventeen, sometimes.”

“I don’t think that ever changes.”

“No, maybe not.” You twirl the empty wine glass in your fingers. “I was head-over-heels for that guy.”

“For Roger?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, I could tell,” Justine says with a grin. “I always thought it was just because the sex was really good. And he had the money to buy you nice stuff.”

“All of that helped,” you say lightly, and Justine laughs. “But he was just such a good guy as well. He was such a good listener, and he was so thoughtful and patient and understanding, and, I don’t know if you remember, but he used to do this thing where he’d invite me over if I’d had a hard day at uni, and when I arrived, he’d have a bubble bath all ready for me, and some snacks, and he just…” You trail away. No point in getting too caught up in the memories.

“I always liked him,” Justine says. “After I got over the age gap. For what it’s worth, I think he really liked you, too.”

You nod. “Yeah, I think he did.” You sigh. “Well. No use thinking it over, is there? Doubt I’ll ever see him again.”

Justine freezes, her eyes like dinner plates.

“Juss?” you say. “What, what is it?”

“No fucking way,” she murmurs. Her eyes flick to yours, and she grabs your wrist again, her grip tight. “You’re not going to believe this. I cannot believe this is happening. Turn around.”

“What?” You turn around, and your jaw drops to the floor.

Talk about speak of the Devil.

He’s older, definitely. How old would he be now? Fifty-two.

You wouldn’t have picked it. You would’ve guessed maybe mid-forties. But he always did have a bit of a younger face.

“Am I dreaming?” you say. “Am I actually dreaming?”

“What are the goddamn chances,” Justine says incredulously.

You watch as Roger greets Naoise, and then her husband Chin. By the way Chin beams, you guess Roger was his invite.

“Go say hello,” Justine hisses, nudging you.

You whirl around to look at her. “Are you out of your mind?” you hiss back. “I haven’t seen him for, like, sixteen years!”

“Then you’ll have so much to catch up on.”

“He wouldn’t even remember me. We only dated for less than a year.”

“Don’t be like that. You’re as hard to forget as he is. I’m sure he’ll remember forking over three months’ wages to sleep with y–”

“Jesus Christ, Justine, can you give it a rest already?”

Justine tries to smother a smile. “Sorry.”

You shake your head. “No, it’s too weird. Especially in light of everything, and this whole conversation, it’s… No. Maybe later, but not now.”

“Maybe it’s fate, or something.”

“Don’t,” you say, your voice hard. “I’m gonna get another drink.”

You leave Justine at the snack table.

You’re just deciding whether to stick to wine or to switch to champagne when a shocking familiar voice says behind you, “Good God, [Y/N]?”

Hearing him say your name again really is like something out of a dream – like a memory come to life. You turn to him, and, inexplicably, feel a blush heat your cheeks. You have no idea what to say, so you just say, “Roger?” as if you hadn’t already known he was here.

Up close, you can tell more easily that he’s aged. But he still smells good – different, but good – and he’s dressed nicely.

Still not wearing glasses, though. He never did. You used to pester him all the time about it when you dated.

There’s a moment of awkwardness, but both of you go in for a brief hug. It’s weird. You shouldn’t have gone for the hug.

“My God, it’s been how long?” Roger says with a laugh. “Fifteen years or something?”

“Something like that, yeah,” you say.

“You look great.”

“Thanks. So do you.”

“Oh, don’t,” Roger says, waving a hand dismissively. “I’m actually old now, I know.”

“No, you do,” you insist. “Look good, I mean. Genuinely.”

His outfit is simple, black-and-white, which almost surprises you. He used to dress a little more eclectically; there was always something patterned or brightly coloured in just about every outfit he wore, especially to parties. Maybe it’s something he’s outgrown. The thought makes you quietly sad.

He does have a little reindeer pin on his lapel, though. It looks handmade, like something he would have bought at a market, made out of mini pom-poms and tufts of tinsel. So maybe he hasn’t outgrown that part of him entirely.

He seems a little flustered by your compliment, and, yep, that’s the Roger you remember. “Well, er, thank you. And I meant it too, of course.”

“Thank you.” An unmistakably awkward moment passes, and you blurt out, “You– How are you? What brings you here?”

“Funny story, actually.” Roger ducks forward and grabs a glass of red, and you take the opportunity to take some champagne. “I, uh, decided I hated dentistry, so I went back to uni and studied biology instead. Wanted to become a professor, but I was already thirty-seven when I started, and I would’ve had to retire by the time I got my PhD. I’m a teacher these days, high school teacher. Chin just started working with me earlier this year, and we hit it off, I suppose.”

You blink in surprise. “A biology teacher?”

Roger chuckles. “Yes, I know. My friends were all shocked and appalled when I told them. The salary’s miserable in comparison, but I don’t hate my life when I wake up in the mornings, so I see that as a positive.”

You hesitate, unsure whether to ask, but go for it anyway. “Did you always hate being a dentist? I don’t…” Is this too far? Is this out of line? “I mean, well, I don’t remember you hating it that much.”

Roger drinks this in, and then nods to himself. “Right, yeah,” he says, sounding almost surprised. “I, um, never really told you, actually. I didn’t want to, uh, force you to listen to me whine about a job I hated while you were studying and all of that.”

“Oh,” you say. You look at your champagne. You should’ve stuck to wine.“Well, for what it’s worth, I wouldn’t have minded. At all. As I remember, I used to whine about university all the time.”

“University’s for whining,” Roger says with a shrug. “I’d done my fair share of that already, all through dentistry school. And I got to do it again, as it turned out.”

“Is there, ah, anything else you didn’t tell me while we were dating?” you joke half-heartedly.

Roger’s eyebrows raise. “Oh, I–”

“No, sorry, I was kidding,” you jump in. “Obviously, I don’t expect you to…” You inwardly curse yourself, and pour some champagne down your throat.

Roger opens his mouth, as if to say something, and, in the back of your mind, you recognise that look, but you can’t quite place what it is.

Then someone calls Roger’s name, and the look is gone, and Roger politely excuses himself from the conversation to be swept up in another.

You bolt back to the snack table, as subtly as you can, but Justine is nowhere to be found. You quietly vow to throttle her next time you see her for disappearing on you, and shovel one more appetiser into your mouth, washing it down with champagne, then turn to face the crowd you’ve been immaturely avoiding all night.

It feels like an hour, but must be no more than twenty, maybe twenty-five minutes, before you find a reasonable excuse to slip away again. You’re not having a bad time, per se, and you’re enjoying getting to catch up with old acquaintances, but it’s damn exhausting. You still haven’t seen Justine.

You wish it wasn’t so freezing outside. You could do with some fresh air.

Maybe another drink will help keep you warm. Even though you know you shouldn’t. You’re already tipsy.

You take another flute of champagne and slip outside onto the balcony. The automatic light switches on.

Your fingers and toes immediately feel like they’re about to fall off. “Eugh, this was a mistake,” you mutter to yourself, and bob up and down on the spot. The balcony is dotted with snow, but it’s hardly been the coldest winter you’ve ever lived through. It’s not snowing right now, at least. And it is nice to have some time to yourself.

The back door slides open, and you turn to see who’s joining you, hoping it’s Justine.

It’s Roger. He gives you a smile – a little nervous, a little shy, almost – and holds out your jacket. “You looked cold.”

The first thing that comes out of your mouth is: “How’d you know it was mine?”

“I asked Naoise. Here, let me hold your drink.”

You pass him your champagne, and slip on your jacket, then take the flute back. “Thanks.”

“No worries.” Roger moves closer to you, standing beside you, and squints up at the dark sky. “Not much snow this winter.”

You follow his gaze. The moon is half-full. “No,” you agree.

The sounds of the party are muffled behind you. Beyond the balcony, you can see through the bright yellow windows of Naoise’s neighbours – the silhouettes of family dinners, of other parties, the white light of TVs.

“Sorry,” Roger says, breaking the silence. “You probably came out here to have some alone time. I shouldn’t have intruded. I can go back inside.”

“No, it’s all right,” you say. This is nice, you want to add. But you don’t know if that’s appropriate, and you can’t think of anything to say instead, so you just leave the sentiment hanging in the icy air.

“I realised I never asked what you’re doing with yourself these days,” Roger says.

“Ah, just working,” you reply. “I’m a market research analyst.”

“Oh, right. How long have you been doing that for?”

“Since I finished uni, really. Well, I worked my way up. Started as an intern in web content writing, realised I preferred data analysis, so I wormed my way into market research. But I’ve been an analyst for almost ten years now.”

Roger ponders this. “Do you enjoy it?”

“Yeah,” you say with a nod. “I know it sounds boring. Most people think I’m mad for not only wanting to do my job, but actually enjoying it, but I do.”

Roger smiles, and it’s a fond smile, a smile that you used to see all the time, and you feel a stab in your chest. A voice in the back of your mind whispers, Do you remember what it feels like to be loved like that? When was the last time Will smiled at you like that? When was the last time he smiled at you at all?

You push that voice aside. You’re just lonely, and hurt, and sad. You’re reading far too much into a simple smile.

“I think it’s great that you love it,” Roger says. “How lucky you found something you enjoy doing so early in your career.”

You’re taken a little off-guard, and you duck your head to hide your smile. “Yeah, I guess I am lucky.”

You take a sip of champagne.

“Speaking of lucky – who’s the lucky man?”

You try not to cringe. “Oh. Uh.” You glance down at the wedding ring that caught Roger’s eye. “Yes. Um, his name is Will. We met at a work do, actually. Been married eight years.”

“He couldn’t make it tonight?”

“No.” You don’t elaborate.

Roger says nothing to that, and you wonder if he’s picked up on the bitterness in your tone, as much as you tried to hide it.

“Right,” Roger says eventually. He clears his throat. “Any kids?”

“Yes,” you say, and there’s no pretending now – the love in your voice is real. “April. She’s three.”

“April,” Roger muses. “Lovely name.”

“Thank you.” You grin at him. “Actually, this is going to sound so strange, but I always thought to myself that I wanted to be as good of a parent to my kids as you were to yours.”

Roger blinks at you – his eyes are still big and blue, but you doubted even God himself could change that – and, if you’re not mistaken, you can see his face start to colour in the beam of the balcony light. “Oh,” he says. “That’s… one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.”

You chuckle. “Well, it’s true. You were such an amazing dad. I’m sure you still are.”

“I try to be.”

“How old are they now? Gosh, they’d all be finished high school now, wouldn’t they?”

“Yeah,” Roger says, shaking his head in disbelief. “Yes, um, my youngest, Sam, she graduated last year. She’s taking a year off this year, working and travelling. Daphne’s the oldest, if you remember, and she’s moving in with her girlfriend soon. She still lives at her mum’s, but her and Asha have been looking for a place for a few months now. She’s an industrial designer. Then there’s Fox, he’s a musician, he’s a bassist, and Sophie’s still at uni, she’s studying theatre, and she wants to do a master’s in artistic directing.”

“Wow,” you say. You never got to know his kids personally too well – you met them a handful of times, but you were far too nervous to spend too much time with them back in the day. The last time you saw them, Daphne hadn’t even started high school. Sam was still learning to talk. “Wow, that’s– they’re so grown-up now.”

“God, you don’t have to tell me,” Roger says with a chuckle.

You shake your head, sighing, and drink some more champagne. “Do you have a lucky lady, then?”

Roger’s face tightens, and he looks down at his left hand, splaying his fingers, but you don’t see a ring. He tucks his hand into his pocket. “I’ve been seeing someone for two months now, almost three,” he says. “Jean. I teach one of her kids. She’s lovely.”

“Jean,” you repeat. “She couldn’t make it tonight?”

Roger shakes his head. “No. She’s a nurse, so she often works nights.” He pauses, and then says quickly, “She’s fifty.”

You can’t help but laugh. “Right.”

“I didn’t want you to think that I always go for younger women,” Roger explains hastily. “You were an outlier. A wonderful outlier, but an outlier nonetheless.”

“‘A wonderful outlier’,” you muse, a touch playfully. “Could be the name of my memoir.”

“It could very well be,” Roger says.

Something doesn’t sit quite right. It seems impossible that someone wouldn’t have married Roger in sixteen years. Surely he’s not just been dating on and off that whole time. Not a guy like him.

Don’t pry, you tell yourself. Don’t pry, don’t pry, don’t pry– “I don’t mean to pry,” you say, and hate yourself for it, “but – did you ever get remarried, or…?”

Roger looks a little taken aback.

“Sorry,” you say. “That’s so rude, I’m sorry.”

“What gave it away?” Roger says.

You bite your lip. “You, um, looked at your left hand. No ring.”

Roger nods. “Hm. Well. Got it in one.” He shoots you a wry smile, but you can see that he’s uncomfortable. “You seem to keep appearing in my life after I’ve gone through a divorce.”

“I’m so sorry,” you say. “I shouldn’t have asked.”

“It’s all right,” Roger says. “It was a year ago now, just about.”

“Were you married long?”

“Twelve years.”

“Christ, Roger, I’m sorry.”

Roger just shrugs, and sniffs, staring out at the apartments and houses beyond the balcony. But you can see the tension in his shoulders.

“I’m divorcing my husband,” you blurt out.

Roger looks to you. “I thought so,” he says carefully. “I could see it in your face when I asked about him.”

You chew on the inside of your cheek. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

You shake your head. “Don’t be. He deserves it.”

Roger grimaces. “Oh.”

“He’s been cheating. But I want to wait until after Christmas to– to do all of that. To tell him I’m leaving him, the lawyers, the paperwork. So April doesn’t have to go through it during Christmas. I don’t want to ruin it for her.”

Roger nods in understanding. He looks for a moment like he wants to reach out and touch you, comfort you, maybe, but he doesn’t. He just nods again and says, “You’re a good mum.”

Your throat tightens, and you have to look away. You don’t dare to try to thank him for the compliment. The last thing you need is to break down at a Christmas party in front of your ex.

“I’m sorry,” Roger says.

You manage a forced laugh, turning to him. “For what?”

“I don’t know,” he says. “I just… felt like I needed to say it.”

You drink him in. The moment feels familiar somehow, and simultaneously foreign altogether.

You sniff, but, luckily, no tears have fallen, and you take a breath to compose yourself.

“Can I get you another drink?” Roger offers, holding out his hand to take your empty flute.

“No, I shouldn’t,” you say. “I’ve had more than enough.” You chuckle. “I don’t remember ever saying that when we dated.”

You expect Roger to laugh along with you, but instead he blinks in shock at you. “Oh, er, I– I also never– I’m glad you…”

“You’re glad what, I enjoyed getting shitfaced?” you tease, not quite understanding his confusion.

His eyes go wide. “Oh, drinking. Yes, well, everyone’s like that at uni a bit, aren’t they?” He chuckles uncomfortably, and then rushes out, “Just getting a drink,” and disappears inside.

You frown to yourself. ‘Oh, drinking’? What else could you have possibly meant?

Unless Roger thought you were referring to–

Surely not.

Referring to the sex?

Your stomach drops to your feet. “Oh, God,” you groan softly, hiding your face behind your hand. You hope Roger doesn’t think you’re flirting with him.

That’d be a story to tell the kids, wouldn’t it? Or to tell Jean. Hey, love, guess what happened last night? Ran into an ex, I dated her almost twenty years ago for a couple months, and we weren’t even chatting for more than half an hour before she was cracking onto me. Even though she’s married. Turns out I still got it!

A shiver rocks through you, and you realise you can’t feel your fingers, but you’re loathe to head back inside. It’s nice out here, in the snow and ice, in a stiff, numb sort of way.

Roger reappears not long after, wine in hand. “Thought you’d have headed back inside by now.”

“I probably should,” you say, and cross your arms to warm up your hands. “But no, I don’t think I will.”

“Do you mind if I stay out here with you?”

You smile. “Not at all.”

You don’t know for how long the two of you stand out there. With each passing minute, more of the awkwardness and discomfort slips away. Maybe it’s the alcohol, but soon the two of you are chatting away like no time has passed at all, laughing and bickering.

He tells you more about the kids, and you tell him about April. He tells you about his second ex-wife – a title that he despises, and, for a while, you let him bemoan the notion that maybe he’s just a terrible husband before you tell him to stop feeling sorry for himself.

Mostly, you both reminisce about the past. About the good times and the bad.

“It was mostly good, though,” you say. “I like to think it was mostly good.”

Roger nods thoughtfully. “I think it was, yeah,” he says.

“I can’t even remember how we broke up.”

Roger snorts. “Are you joking?”

You shake your head, shrugging. “No. I remember going through the break-up period, which took me far longer to get over than I’m willing to admit to you.”

Roger grins. “Oh, yeah?” he teases.

“No, don’t,” you warn him with a laugh. “You’re not getting an ego boost from me.”

“Did you cry every night? Have a photo of me under your pillow? Eat lots of ice cream and watch rom-coms?”

“Shut up, I’m not saying a word.”

Roger laughs, and the sound of it makes your heart sing. “You’re not saying no.”

You roll your eyes. “I was in a lot of pain for a long time,” you say. “There, are you happy?”

Roger’s smile fades, and he looks down at his feet. “No, of course that doesn’t make me happy,” he says. He looks back to you. “For what it’s worth, I probably took even longer to get over you.”

You study his face. It’s a little more weathered, a little more lined, but it’s a face you missed for a very long time. “What happened?” you ask, so softly it’s almost a whisper, like you wouldn’t dare to speak the question any louder. “I… I really liked you, Rog. A lot. Loved you, even, although I– I didn’t know what love felt like at the time. Where did we go wrong?”

Roger swallows, and shakes his head minutely, his eyes drinking in yours. “I don’t know,” he murmurs. “Wrong place, wrong time. But I…” He cuts himself off, and takes a deep breath, looking away.

“But what?”

“Nothing.” Roger gives you a small smile. “I’ve never met Will, but he sounds like the stupidest man alive to hurt you like that.”

You snort a laugh. “Well. I’m sure he doesn’t think so.”

“It’ll be too late by the time he figures it out. Stupid men are like that.”

You don’t know what to say to that, so you don’t say anything at all. All you can think is that Roger really hasn’t changed much at all, and that Jean is a very fortunate woman.

Your phone buzzes, and you pull it out of your pocket to check it. “Ah, shit,” you mutter. It’s Will. April’s come down with a fever, the text says. Need you home.

“Is everything all right?” Roger asks.

You pocket your phone again. “April’s sick,” you say. “Duty calls.”

“Right, of course. Let me walk you inside.”

He opens the sliding door for you, and waves you in. “Age and beauty,” he says, and it catches you unaware, makes you laugh.

“I forgot you say that,” you say. It’s a play on age before beauty – Roger used to say that you bested in him both age and beauty, so the original phrase didn’t fit, and he insisted on saying his version of it every time he opened a door for you. Which was often. He liked that his silly little phrase made you giggle and give him a gentle slap on the arm.

“I haven’t said it in a long time, actually,” Roger says with a grin, closing the door behind him, trapping you both in the warmth, along with the music and conversation. “Not since you.”

You both stand there for a moment, grinning at each other, unsure how to proceed, and you feel a familiar squeeze of your heart. “I need to go,” you say, almost apologetically.

“Yes,” Roger says.

“I…” You hesitate. “Wait for me at the door, I just want to make the rounds, say quick goodbyes to everyone.”

“Sure,” Roger says, and you give his arm a quick squeeze, then track down Naoise and Chin to say your thank-yous and farewells, then Justine, then a couple of other people.

You grab your purse, and meet Roger at the front door. “I had a really nice time tonight,” you tell him. “Thank you.”

“I was just about to say the same thing,” he says.

You’re unsure what to say, but then an idea strikes you. “Do you want my number? It’d be nice to keep in touch.”

“Oh, yes, of course,” Roger says. “That’d be lovely.”

He hands over his phone, and you save your number. “Give me a call whenever,” he says, as you hand his phone back. “If you need someone to talk to, y’know. Or just for a chat. Divorces are… really not fun.”

You chuckle wryly. “Well, I suppose you’re the expert, aren’t you?”

“God, you’re just as rude as I remember,” Roger says with a roll of his eyes, laughing alongside you.

He stops in his tracks, his gaze towards the ceiling.

You tilt your head up. A decorative sprig of mistletoe hangs above the door.

You and Roger look at each other, your faces both pink.

Your heart clenches. Yes, Jean is a very fortunate woman indeed. “Funny,” you say with a nervous chuckle.

“Yeah, weird,” Roger says. “I don’t think I’ve ever even seen mistletoe in real life before.”

“Me, either.”

Another moment passes. “In another lifetime,” you say with a smile.

Roger takes a breath, and there’s something in his eyes, something you haven’t seen for a long time, and he nods, smiling back. “Yeah,” he says. “Right time, right place.”

You nod again, drinking this in, and sigh. “Okay, well, I really do need to go. I’m sure Will is on the verge of panic without me there.”

“Of course,” Roger says. “I hope April’s all right.”

“Thanks, Rog.” On a spur of the moment, you give him a peck on the cheek, and then let yourself out. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” he says. “I might see you soon?”

“You will,” you say. Your ride is almost here, so you give one final wave, and head to the lift.

The door closes.

You take the lift down and climb into the car.

You go home, say hello to your husband, and take care of your daughter.

That night, you sit in the dining room, nursing a hot chocolate, listening to the silence of the house.

Then, and only then, do you allow yourself to cry.

Your wallowing was short-lived, though - swiftly interrupted by a phone call from an unknown number.

You wipe your nose on your sleeve, grimacing, and answer. “Hello?”

“[Y/N]?”

You’re gobsmacked. “Roger?”

“I- I wasn’t expecting you to answer. I was just... going to leave a voice message to say this was my number.”

You let out a pitiful bubble of laughter. “Why didn’t you just text?”

There’s a pause, and then an embarrassed, “Oh, yes. I could’ve done that.”

You sniff. “It’s fine, no harm done. I’ll let you get to bed, it’s late.”

“Right,” Roger says. “Um, how’s- how’s April?”

“She’s good, yeah, thanks for asking. Gave her some painkillers and she went right to sleep.”

“Good, that’s good.”

“Yes.” You sniff again, wetly, and quickly wipe at your nose a second time. “Ah, well, I, um... should probably...”

“Go, yes,” Roger says. “Sorry. I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“No, no, not at all,” you reassure him. “I was just, um, having a hot chocolate.”

“Right, sounds important.”

You laugh. “It’s very important.”

“I’m sure it is. I’ll let you get back to it, then.”

“I appreciate it.”

You realise you’re smiling to yourself like a loon. “Thanks for calling,” you say.

Roger chuckles. “No worries at all. And, um, seriously. If you need someone to talk to, at any time, please just call me. I couldn’t bear the thought of you, I don’t know, sitting alone and crying, or something like that.”

You almost laugh out loud. “Thank you, Rog. I’ll make sure to save your number.”

“Please do, so I don’t have to call you in the middle of the night again.”

You smile. “G’night.”

“Night, [Y/N].”

You hang up.

Your hot chocolate tastes a little sweeter than it did before.

#mine #my writing #roger taylor x reader #queen fanfiction #rpf #angst

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sgnsejun-blog · 5 years

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alright alright hey hii, okay it’s been likes 500 years since I’ve rped on tumblr so pls be gentle I’m not entirely with it lMAO but anywayy I have a ABOUT + (soon) PLOT page up for sejun and also some info that’s also the same as his quick facts on the about page so if u’ve happened to have read that then oops under the cut so if ur interested keep reading <3

okay okay so was born and raised in seoul in a wealthy family (p standard yee)

didn’t have many friends in his earlier years at school + got bullied a bit

used to be a bigger nerd than he is today, like he’s still p smart tbh but he used to be the type of person that passed every exam without having to revise that everyone hated, now he has to work way harder to do just as well and he regrets taking it for granted tbh

used to be v concious about what ppl thought about him but in his last few years of school he stopped caring as much he made like a few popular jock friends in those years + became more confident/comfortable bc of it

his parents forced him (not rly forced but he’ll say he was) into doing a sciency subject lowkey not that he wanted to do anything artsy but he didnt rly want to go to uni or w/e just wanted to get a job but he doesnt rly care so he just went with it

he lowkey wished he would hate it so he could prove them wrong but here he is having the time of his life tbh

honestly loves a good “I told you so moment”, loves proving people wrong (and just being petty tbh even tho he “hates drama”)

he has this huge confliction w/ not really caring enough to get properly involved + thinking that his way is the best way to do things,, like a control freak but he can’t be bothered,, it’s a hard life

like p passive but he also hates people who are lazy

acc big hypocrite tbh, is like whatever when he turns up late to something but when someone does it to him he’s a bit salty

ya boi is like *eye rolls a lot* stop being dumb finds himself judging freshman who do stupid things quite a lot

he’s quite friendly tbh, really likes the company of other people and just having friends tbh

ANNOYING speak to him once he’ll add you on facebook and spam u requests to join the track team fb group

speaking of fb groups/messages he’s lowkey the pyramid scheme police, send him a message about ur mlm you will get a 1500 word essay response

also he’s hella nosy but a lot of time ppl just tell him the gossip anyway bc they trust him (they shouldn’t)

can be a lil manipulative,, has this kind appearance/vibe but thats probs what is the most dangerous,,

But generally, if you’re someone who’s legitimately close to him he won’t play these games and fuck with you, like if you know you know. So yeah, lowkey two-faced (sort of?) and manipulative but never to his friends, he cant stand it when ppl are fake w/ their friends tbh

also a v good friend he’s p thoughtful when it comes to his friends (which is saying something bc most of the time he is v oblivious and bad at reading other ppls situations)

the king of smash ultimate himself,, he tries to organize tournaments all the time (and for other games too)

when he wants to do work its big time mega stress boys hours long of intensive work but then when he wants to relax its the other extreme of laid in bed for three days was stoned for most of it pretended to be okay at track then got completely hammered at some party probably had a threesome wakes up passed out in a completely different dorm, pretends it never happened and then he’s back on the grind

speaking of parties he like pretends that he’s not crazy about them (not like hates them but like,, “...... oh…… i guess i could go…. i’ll check my plans) but secretly loves them most of the time he goes and is chill there but sometimes he,, is a complete mess tbh

which is fun bc a lot of the time he likes being a “responsible mum friend” to messy ppl so when he’s a mess himself it’s,, the best

also romance wise he got cheated on in freshman year + is now v hesitant when ppl want more than sex, but still wants to be in love v badly and catches feelings quite easily :(

to those who dont know him he comes off as very put together, really cares about his appearance so if u see him crying in the dorms at 3am wearing the tracksuit hes been sleeping in for the past 4 days you’re probs one of the few ppl who could blackmail him

#♡ ⋮ ooc #also im just posting this draft quickly before work ill get to things when i get home !#nd ive been overwriting bc i have an essay due lol this wont last ;_;

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mentalcurls · 5 years

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9. Se vi faccio a tutti così schifo

Episode 9 of the Skam Italia S1 analysis! We’re almost at the end of the season already. This time, read my rants about a mysterious guy called Magistrali, Marti and Eva’s friendship and my refuted headcanons. As usual the Bechdel test result are at the end!

“What are you doing?” Silvia is all of us

girls, if only Eva has an headache, how on earth would you all be able to determine whether Sana’s doorkeeper’s technique works or not?

also, Sana has a doorkeeper, which points to 💰💰💰 just like Marisol does for the Fareses

Eva is caught off guard by Silvia’s question just like she was in ep.8 by her mother’s question: she genuinely forgot about the Edoardo thing, she must be focused on school, Giovanni and avoiding the worst consequence of the narrative of the cheating whore that has spread about her at school; on top of that, she expected Eleonora’s reaction when Edoardo followed her on IG and DMed her, which is why she warned her (see the messages from May 18th), not from Silvia who has no reason to know anything

except that Silvia is super aware of the social situation at school, so of course she’s always up to date with all the gossip that goes around, she was the one to tell the girls Federico had cheated on Alice, remember? And if it hadn’t been for the thing with Edoardo, she would have been the one to know about Alice hitting Federico during gym class in ep.7

EVA! Oh, darling,when Silvia asks what you and Edoardo talked about, you can’t look at Eleonora (even though she knows what you talked about) and then pretend you don’t remember! Eva is so bad at lying OMG

Silvia’s bullshit-o-meter is good, running smoothly and perfectly calibrated, except she only uses it when it suits her: she mostly doesn’t want to acknowledge it, like with Laura in ep.1 or with Edoardo, because it confirms all her worst fears about herself, that the popular people she admires so much don’t want her in their midst, on their level; but here Eva has a super low social standing (especially now) so Silvia has no problem confronting her about lying

it’s laundry day and all the dirty secrets that were on the bottom of the closets are being aired out

so on Monday May 14th there was the discussion with Laura outside of Eva’s classroom, which Silvia saw, and Eva gave her a super evasive explanation; on Friday May 18th Edoardo gave Eva a lift; now it’s Monday 21st and Silvia talked to Laura the night before: she clearly wasn’t convinced by Eva’s words from the beginning, but did at what point did the mysterious Magistrali tell her about Eva and Edo? Was it before she talked to Laura, was that the last straw? Or did Silvia talk to Laura first, and then spoke to Magistrali that day at school? Cause those are pretty different situations

btw if you check the chats, Silvia is suspiciously absent from the group chat that weekend, which would point more towards the first case, but if so then Magistrali must have contacted her specifically to tell her about seeing Eva with Edo during the weekend

who’s this Magistrali guy btw? Who is he for Silvia to trust him as a solid source? Who is he to be interested and involved in the whole drama with Silvia and Edoardo, how does he know?

on top of that, I get Silvia believing Laura, she had and has a lot of sway over Silvia, but why does she unquestioningly believe Magistrali? A guy? Who we never heard of before? Instead of her girls?? Lots of questions, no answers

hate to agree with Edoardo Incanti himself, but Silvia should really not blindly trust all the rumors

Sana is so fiercely loyal, she’s literally a lioness with her cubs when it comes down to her friends

and just like Ele she does not stand for her friends being insulted because of their sex lives with misogynistic words infused with patriarchal connotations

even when Silvia is faced with evidence that she should not believe everything she hears when she hears the full story of the incident at Chicco Rodi’s party from Sana, she still only begins to doubt that Laura is the one holding all the truths

the thing is, if Eva went with Edo, that puts Silvia, in her mind, in the same position and at the same level as Laura, so it’s a chance to get back to a higher level of popularity, cause Silvia’s reputation has been dragged in the mud because of her confronting Edo about the wall of shame and because of her association with Eva; little does it matter that Laura and everyone else doesn’t see it that way, cause Silvia was only dating Edoardo in her mind and because it’s not like a boy cheating on you automatically makes you as popular as another, cooler girl who was cheated on as well

Silvia’s mind is so convoluted, I blame you entirely, Francesca Mirabella (not true, there are definitely some problems with the parenting there too)

“Shit, you’re my friend, I’d never do that to you” because Laura wasn’t your friend Eva? I get you’re word vomiting anything that comes to mind that might help you, but this really doesn’t

“SilviaH, mi credi?” should have prepared us for “MartinoH, guardami MartinoH”

Eleonora’s incredulous head shake

Sana and Eleonora are Eva’s real Parent Friends with the looks™, just look at Sana sigh then look at Ele and then at Eva

there is a pretty high chance that Silvia is the one that mobilized Federica to find out why they weren’t invited to the end-of-school party, I mean, she already had her Revenge Dress™ ready, she had been thinking about it three weeks earlier cause that was gonna be her 1994!Diana moment with Edoardo

would you look at that? Martino, who snubbed Rocco Martucci’s party, still knows enough to be able to tell Eva a) who’s organizing the party b) that Maria is Alice’s best friend c) that the whole Federico debacle is the reason for the missed invite

I don’t know what hurts more: Marti’s “Scusami” after Eva’s tirade or Eva’s “No, I’m sorry, I’m not mad at you”

I NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS FRIENDSHIP! I can’t decide how long Marti and Eva have been friends, if it started when they were kids, kind of like with Marti and Gio, so they were a trio of sorts, except then they became tweens and suddenly girls were gross so Eva was left behind until they ended up in the same class in high school, so they got closer again, at first just as friendly classmates, then as proper friends when the Laura-Gio-Eva thing begun; or if Eva and Marti simply met in high school cause they ended up in the same class and at some point the professors decide they absolutely had to keep Rametta far from Garau and Brighi far from Pandakovic because they were alway distracted and talking so Eva and Marti ended up in sitting next to each other when the two couple of BFFs were switched and they became close then (while Gio and Laura fell for each other); or if started even more recently, only after Gio started dating Laura, so basically while Marti and Eva were forced to third-and-fourth wheel, except then would he know her better enough to say “You wouldn’t have quit, before?” I NEED ANSWERS

“Eva, kick their asses!” EASY FOR YOU TO SAY YOU HYPOCRITE, I hope you went to church and confessed your sins before saying this kind of motivational shit, snake boy

I feel Eva taking deep breaths and talking herself into talking to Maria deep in my bones

btw, I’ve been wanting to say for a few episodes, but those mini skirts (both Eva’s in past episodes and Maria’s friends’) wouldn’t have been allowed at all in my high school, such bad representation!1!1!!1!

Maria Sorgato is such a mood! She’s a couple of weeks away from the maturità, she’s studying and revising like crazy, she’s organizing a huge party on top of that, she don’t got no time to follow the rumor mill, to keep track of people from other years or to specifically exclude people from parties

and she takes the time to give Eva semi-valuable advice anyways (which is pretty similar to what her BFF Alice told Eva at the party btw)! And she refuses to let her friends shame her for her sex life! An icon

and here we have another absolute ICON, Miss Federica Cacciotti, who should totally try her hand at the trapeze cause she definitely had to pull some stunning acrobatics to pull that off

I heard about that method Federica mentions actually: a friend of mine in uni treid it a couple of times to balance work and studying more easily, but she ended up being super stressed on the day of the exam because she didn’t feel confident in what she knew the exams always went poorly

Ele is really pissed off that Silvia doesn’t believe Eva, I think because she feels that after all the support they’ve been giving her, the least Silvia can do is give Eva the benefit of the doubt

noooo, what do you mean Silvia’s not talking to Fede?? They’re inseparable! And it totally invalidates my theory about Silvia having Fede write to Eva about the party bc of the 1994!Diana inspired revenge plan

Sana = the voice of reason, she’s seeing the signs (maybe because she’s seen the signs of breakdowns on other people before, albeit from afar?? *hint hint*)

this is the episode of Sana’s revelations, she’s kind of a deus ex machina

and now the big confrontation: Eva’s got something to say and enough blackmail material to force Laura to listen and she’s not gonna be stopped, dismissed or interrupted

noooo, there goes my theory about Eva Gio and Marti having known one another since primary school, since Eva says she didn’t know anyone when she started high school (💔 it was my fave theory)

on the other hand, I feel ya baby Eva, I too started liceo classico without knowing anyone in my class and only two people in the entire school 💖

on the other hand, let’s talk about Laura: she knew people, so she probably was already somewhat cool among them, and still she went out of her way to extend a hand to the new girl who knew nobody; she was kind and generous and nothing like the person we’ve seen until now. I struggled to believe Gio could have ever liked her up until this moment. The break-up and the resentment she held until this episode was like a poison and turned her into a pretty mean person, but I think that she’s not like that, deep inside.

or maybe she just saw potential in Eva to be the Karen to her Regina and Sara’s Gretchen so she went and befriended her and my theories are all shit

CAN WE TALK about how many of these kids mention not being able to sleep?? Eva has done it two times now, with her mom and with Laura now, Marti will soon start having troubles as well when his dad walks out and in S2 he will repeatedly say he’s been struggling with insomnia; I can’t specifically remember anyone else saying they’re not sleeping but I feel like Silvia or Gio might have said or implied something in past episodes: this is not normal, this is not healthy, at the very least their parents should all be making them drink gallons of chamomile tea!

so Gio and Laura were not doing good and Laura was thinking of breaking up with him already: what a perfectly textbook YA romance novel triangle, and what a perfectly teenager-ish, less-than-logical reason to hold a grudge for this long Laura had

and Eva is so great in this scene: she explains clearly what her thought process was, she takes responsibility for her actions, she apologizes but doesn’t ask to be forgiven and for everything to go back to what it was, aiming for an easier, more attainable goal

oh, and Alice is back, with as many anger management issues as always

Eva puts herself physically between Laura and Alice: she’s been there and she doesn’t want Laura to be on the other side of Alice’s slap

AND FINALLY SOMEONE SAYS IT EXPLICITLY: Federico is the asshole that goes around cheating systematically on girls, the girls themselves aren’t exactly blameless but they’re not the sole responsible people and they shouldn’t be treated as such

“I’m not able to break up with him” what does that mean?? You realize you’re in a toxic relationship, you ask for help and get the hell out of it as soon as possible! Queen Maria Sorgato, don’t tell me you’re too busy with school and stuff to help your best friend dump an asshole, please! Go support her!

Alice seems like an asshole, but she really simply doesn’t know how to channel her anger properly: she is honestly interested in how thing go for Eva and her boyfriend (even though she’s got the wrong man here), maybe because she empathizes more with him than with her, but let’s not forget that she talked with Eva about Gio before, so that might play a part in it, too

the earth literally falling out from under Eva’s feet as soon as Alice says Martino’s name, the bottom of her stomach dropping, the breath being punched out of her lungs, oh my God

Bechdel test: this episode passes the test, thank God these girls start dealing with their messes without boys and shit finally gets done.

This post is part of my complete series of meta about Skam Italia season 1. If you’d like to read more of my thoughts about the other episodes, you can find the mastepost linked in the top bar on my blog under SKAMIT: EVA. Cheers!

#skam italia #eva brighi #skamit meta #silvia mirabella #sana allagui #eleonora sava #federica cacciotti #martino rametta #laura pandakovic #alice (skam italia)#maria sorgato #skamit #a. writes #1x09 se vi faccio a tutti così schifo

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crossant-creachure · 6 years

Text

85 Questions Tag

Thank you @timothythemultifandomedowl for tagging me! I know we don’t talk, but I find it sweet that you thought of tagging me for this ^^ Okay, here goes:

Last...

Drink - A banana/milk smoothie with chocolate powder and espresso powder

Phone call - to my dad to ask which cereal to bring from the store

Text message - responding to my friend

Song you listened to - Fire Fire by David Micheal Bennett (AKA The Spine from Steam Powered Giraffe) ((you all should check SPG out, the group is amazing))

Time you cried - Yesterday I laughed so much tears escaped my eyes, and I see that as crying so

Ever...

Dated someone twice - Nope

Kissed someone and regretted it - Also nope

Been cheated on - Luckily not

Lost someone special - Too many people already

Been depressed - I’m not diagnosed with depression but I feel like I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out I do have it

Gotten drunk and thrown up - ..... I haven’t even been drunk. I’m not legally allowed to drink yet

Favourite colours - Blue, green and black

In the past year you have...

Made new friends - Yes I did!!! And I appreciate every single one of them!!!

Fallen out of love - Sadly, yes... I still feel guilty over it even though I know I can’t change how I feel, and it happened a few months ago

Laughed until you cried - Yes,,, it happened yesterday

Found out someone was talking about you - I??? Don’t get this one????

Met someone who changed you - Hmmmm,,,, I don’t know actually. I don’t notice much whether or not I change

Found out who your friends are - Yes, and I’m glad

Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list - I don’t have Facebook

General

How many of your Facebook friends do you know irl - Like I said I don’t have FB XD

How many pets do you have - Two! A French bulldog and a cat

Do you want to change your name - I think maybe? I haven’t given it much thought but sometimes I do feel like the names I have don’t suit me all that well

What did you do for your last birthday - I threw a party for my family + back then girlfriend

What time did you wake up today - At like, a little past 11am

What were you doing at midnight last night - I was calling with two of my friends

What is something you can’t wait for - The start of university bc it’ll be my first year! Also I can’t wait for my first paycheck so I can sign up for my Uni’s Quidditch team!

What are you listening to right now - atm nothing, but I was planning on listening to Fire Fire on loop while answering these questions :/

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom - random,,, but yes

Something that gets on my nerves - lately there has been an annoying high toned beep outside and it’s clearly audible when the back door is open. But the beep doesn’t have a consistent timing and it aggravates me so. Damn. Much.

Most visited website - Uhhh, probably Tumblr? But I go on ao3 a lot as well

Hair colour - Dark blonde/light brown

Hair long or short - I consider my hair long, it’s just past my shoulders but I want to cut it short when I have the money to do so

Do you have a crush on someone - Nope, and I don’t want it to happen either

What do you like about yourself - I really like my eyes, and the shape of my smile, also I like how I’m slowly starting to feel like I’m getting my life back on track

Want any piercings - YES!! I want more piercings in my ears and maybe I want a lip piercing and/or an eyebrow piercing as well

Blood Type - I honestly don’t know

Nicknames - Ies, Isa, Bobo (I hate this one), Frederik (sadly I’m not called this anymore), Gurp, Hobi, Ieskam (only my granddad can call me this), Aboe (no one ever call me this, it’s special to me)

Relationship status - Single, and not ready to mingle bc I enjoy my solitude

Zodiac - Libra

Pronouns - She/her and they/them. Usually I am okay with both but I have days when I can only tolerate they/them

Favourite tv show - I gotta say The Great British Bake Off, that shit is intense

Tattoos - I don’t have any but I would like a tiny turtle on my wrist and perhaps some of my favourite lyrics on my arm when I’m older

Right or left handed - Right handed

Ever had surgery - Yes, I think, but I can’t remember what it was like since I was at most three years old

Piercings - I have two earrings in each earlobe but I haven’t worn earrings in a while so idk if they are closing or not

Sports - I don’t play any yet, but I am planning on joining the North Sea Nargles quidditch team soon!!

Vacations - I have been abroad to Sweden, Denmark, the UK, Belgium and France on vacation. I would still like to go to Japan, Canada, South Korea and Germany, and back to Sweden, on vacation

Trainers - Uhmmm,,,, what???? I don’t get this question, sorry

More general

Eating - The most recent thing I had was a risolles

Drinking - I had that that banana/chocolate milk drink about two hours ago now, but I might drink some water in a bit, I’m thirsty again

I’m about to watch - Nothing, I guess

Waiting - For dinner to be finished so we can eat

Want - To be okay again

Get married - I’d do it to make finances easier if I were to ever live together with someone, I think marrying is overrated

Career - I don’t know what I want my career to be, but it’d be neat if I could professionally publish a novel

Which is better

Hugs or kisses - Hugs! I love hugs! The warm feeling of human contact, knowing you’re wanted. Hugs are the greatest when it’s with someone taller so you can hide from the world in their embrace

Lips or eyes - I’m going with lips. Eyes are gorgeous, don’t get me wrong, but I love the way people’s lips move differently when they talk. Or the way lips stretch in different shapes when people smile... now I’m soft...

Shorter or taller - I always say I hate being short and hate having to look up at taller people but,,, honestly,,, I don’t mind it all that much. As I said before, hugging taller people is wonderful, and tall people make me feel safer, as if they can protect me.

Older or younger - I don’t think I care much. I have older and younger friends alike, but I have noticed I have the tendency to baby my younger friends much. Going in mother mode, calling them ‘kid’ affectionately, that sort of thing

Nice stomach or arms - Well my definition of a nice stomach is a squishy belly so definitely that. But nice lower arms/wrists are hella great as well to look at

Hookup or relationship - The choice is easy: relationship

Troublemaker or hesitant - Hesitant, I don’t have the confidence or dare to be a troublemaker

Have you ever...

Kissed a stranger - Nope, and I’m not planning to

Drank hard liquor - Haven’t done that

Lost glasses - I don’t have glasses...

Turned someone down - Uhhh ya I have

Sex on first date - Ew no, no sex for this ace

Broken someone’s heart - Yes, and it broke my own in the process

Had your heart broken - I broke it myself

Been arrested - I have not, I am also not planning on making that a thing

Cried when someone died - Yes I have, too many times already

Fallen for a friend - I have

Do you believe in...

Yourself - No, but I am trying to change that. Regrettably, there hasn’t been much progress yet

Miracles - No

Love at first sight - I guess??? I won’t be able to experience it myself so I stay skeptical about it, but if it happens to someone else good for them I guess

Kiss on first date - Dunno... perhaps a kiss on the cheek would be okay?

Angels - No, but ghosts yes, and ghosts can be good

Other

Best friends’ names - Anne (I only have one best friend)

Eye colour - Grey with green and yellow/orange, my eye colour changes from day to day

Favourite movie - Hmmm... I can’t choose one so I’ll write a few of my faves. Black Panther, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Robin Hood: Men in Tights and Hunt For The WIlderpeople

Favourite actor/actress - Lee Kwangsoo

Ohmygod the list is done... jeez this is a long post, thank you if you decided to read until here, I hope this wasn’t a complete waste of time for you...

Uhmmm so here I go tagging others I guess: @wastelandnoodle @sapphicprincesswarrioryuckfou @wlwskz @gaystayby @wannamakesomemagic @funeeek

All of you please know you do not have to do this if you don’t want to!

Uhmmm this has been an information dump about me, so long!!

#85 questions #tagged #long post #own

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grxhams · 6 years

Text

hello, its naomi ( someone stop me ) and this gif makes me cry for reasons i can’t explain. i never saw this movie and i probably never will

graham as a vine. odysseus as a vine.

[ CHRIS EVANS. CISMALE. HE/HIM. ] GRAHAM CASSIDY aka ODYSSEUS has been a member of the God Club for FIVE YEARS. This time around they are THIRTY-FIVE years old and a UNI FILM AND HISTORY PROFESSOR. They ARE NOT devoted to returning to Olympus because THERE ARE NO THRONES LEFT FOR KINGS. Currently they only possess the power of INSTRUCTIVE MUSCLE MEMORY.

smash that mfin’ like and we can chat to plot bc if i have to legally write an intro i’ll kermit i’ve had an emotional night. okay i threw something together. i just wanna be able to do replies and not feel guilty for not doing this.

g r a h a m

Well I come here more than you know And I'm sure you think I've OUTGROWN you But I couldn't. – COIN, malibu ‘92

► GENERAL INFORMATION

FULL NAME: graham jonathan cassidy

NICKNAME(S): n/a

AGE: thirty-five ( 35 )

DATE OF BIRTH: december 25th

GENDER: cis male

NATIONALITY: american

SPOKEN LANGUAGE(S): english

OCCUPATION: university professor

RELIGION: unaffiliated

SEXUALITY: bisexual

► APPEARANCE

FACE CLAIM: chris evans

HEIGHT: 6′0

DOMINANT HAND: right handed

HAIR COLOR: medium brown

EYE COLOR: blue

SCARS: speckled with well-faded scars, a gnarly scar across his

TATTOOS: an in memorium tattoo for his deceased mother, a small h on his left hand’s ring finger, chris’ buddism clavicle tattoo

POWER(S): instructive muscle memory

► BACKGROUND

HOMETOWN: just outside of austin, tx

CURRENT RESIDENCE: new york

FINANCIAL STATUS: middle class

EDUCATION LEVEL: a doctorate in history and film

FAMILIAL CONNECTIONS: marissa cassidy [ mother, deceased ]; william cassidy [ father, 58 ], younger sister [ open ]

ROMANTIC CONNECTIONS: heath cassidy [ spouse, 31 ]

PLATONIC CONNECTIONS: cousins, extended family

HOSTILE CONNECTIONS: open

► EXTRA INFORMATION

JUNG TYPE: estj

TEMPERAMENT: sanguine

MORAL ALIGNMENT: chaotic good

SIN: pride

VIRTUE: charity

ZODIAC: capricorn

ELEMENT: earth

PINTEREST: its gay

CHARACTER PLAYLIST: later

► PAST tw: an abuse of commas on my part

the first born son of a farmhand, graham learned to take care of the land and trust in his own hands before anything else. just a short, two-hour drive from the nearest big city - he had figured that he had grown up with a well-rounded childhood. that ideology was quickly shaken up when he enlisted in the army. basic training brought him up to south carolina where he truly discovered just what type of people existed in the world. the army introduced him to new experiences while also honing the skills he had developed at home. ranking up diligently, graham used his off time to take advantage of covered tuition. though learning from a book was never his strong suit but by making every class as interactive as possible, he managed to rack up a few degrees. his twenty-first birthday came and went, but as he helping a mate build ikea furniture, she actually read the instructions and he found that.. he knew what to do. his hands moved almost of their own accord and the standard three hour desk took only a fourth of the time. cornered in the library, being told that he would manifest powers and that he was odysseus was a trip. laughing it off, he told a few people about the incident and his friends agreed that lsd was too easily accessible in new york. nonetheless, he was fascinated with his newfound ikea furniture building prowess, he spent weeks trying figure out what triggered this ability. he read manuals, he watched tutorials, he had other people read him manuals, but not all of them worked, through trial and error and a few stressful nights of googling, he found that indirect observation was the key to mastering his new abilities. becoming a quick fan of how-to audiobooks and written instruction, graham consumed everything from mechanics’ guides to cookbooks. leaving his education on hold to become a ranger, a part of him felt like it was cheating, using this weird, newfound ability to advance his personal life, so he vowed to look up the godclub when he was back in the states. unfortunately, that day came sooner than anticipated. injuring his right shoulder and getting discharged with the grizzly truth of never having full mobility of his shoulder, graham returned to get his masters in something more solitary. on a whim he tacked on a teaching degree to his portfolio and he was able to pick up a job teaching subjects he loves.

► PERSONALITY

gold, gold, gold.

likes routine, very detail orientated, hardworking, knowledge and facts > feelings, emotionally guarded bordering on constipated, cold anger like clenching a fist around dry ice, ACTUALLY gets shit done, mom friend.

► CONNECTIONS

heath -

ride or die, close friends, confidants etc

gym buddies, neighbors, uncommon friends, frenemies,

this scenario

however, very recently, i would say about this passed spring, graham lost his mother and has been very depresso about it. he would have taken the summer off and gone on a short trip and then spent the rest of his time wandering the streets after the sun has set. if you’re interested in meeting him then. lmk

#god.intro

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alicanta77 · 3 years

Note

awww you remembered me 🥺❤️ can i be a regular anon too?? i shall be 🌻 anon [bcs donghyuck hehe. he ain’t my bias (can’t cheat on jaemin like that) but people say we’re alike 😂😂]

also damn you’re really planning ahead, huh? i totally get the nice feeling!! i always feel great when i’m doing a bunch of stuff. especially bcs the pandemic’s made my productivity go so low 😔😔 but i got plants recently and taking care of them is so fun!! ^^

and yeah i’m doing gooood. i’ve got assignments due a 3 weeks for uni but other than that,,, i think the workload is okay?? i’m just trying to get all my reading done. it’s exhausting being an english lit student 😔 idk if it’s every uni but UoN is exhausting as hell and they gave us the heaviest, most depressing reading list. i’m getting tired reading about death during the victorian era istg

- 🌻

yes i remember you!!! and of course you can be 🌻 anon thank you so much for wanting to be a regular 🥺🥺 (and jaemin is bias wrecking me so hard at the moment)

i know that when i go back to uni my productivity is going to be lower on here so i really want to have some stuff prepared. oooh taking care of plants is so lovely!! i don’t have any but i would love a couple of succulents in my room i think

ahhhhh omg english lit used to KILL me!! i have serious respect for you taking it at uni. please don’t do what i used to do however and wait until the night before to write assignments, IT NEVER GOES WELL!!! i’d always think “it’s fine i’ve got three weeks” and before you know it those three weeks have gone. i swear i’ve never seen and eng lit reading list that isn’t depressing though! why is it that all teachers think their students need to read about death and sadness? 😂😂

#asks #🌻 anon #thank you for being an anon!!!

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sambashua · 7 years

Text

92 questions/random questions/8 things tag~

hello friends !!! i’ve done the first two tags before but it’s been quite a while so ?? let’s see if i can come up w new responses i guess?? also these all have similar-ish questions so i thought i’d combine them so i don’t clog up everyone’s dashes~

tagged by (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ(ilya so dang much my favorite muffins)

92 questions: mariel! @jaehyunscult kelby! @yooncheoly and claudia! @s-lay-ing

random questions: kolbo! @yooncheoly ommo! @strawberryboo and cloodoo! @s-lay-ing

eight things: em! @seoulscapes mj! @jungnoir and kat! @atshinee

i’m going to tag @everyonesabiaswrecker @hoshi-ssi @king-hao @moonhyook @taeismyking @honestlay @yoonsunha @amessence @kylamassie1 @peachesandkili and also the beans who tagged me above!! you can do one of the ones you didn’t tag me in hehe(≧◡≦)

you guys can choose whichever tags you want!! or all of them ? idk it’s basically either long, easy or creative so whatever you feel like doing… or do none of them!! that works too! if you don’t want to be tagged just let me knowwww also you rlly don’t have to read this whole thing it is so damn long… but w/o further ado…

92 questions

the last…

1. drink: water

2. phone call: my grandma !

3. text message: “THEBOP OF THE SUMMER” (sic)

4. song you listened to: ‘love paint (every afternoon)’ by NU’EST started playing before i got out of the car last night… WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED I WATCHED MX’S NEWTON THIS MORNING OH MY GOD THE BOP OF THE SUMMER THAT’S WHAT THE TEXT WAS ABT BTW

5. time you cried: hmmmm not monsta x surprisingly ? but we have some rlly spicy food in LA and @everyonesabiaswrecker @taeismyking and i had to hide our eyes from the waiter lol

have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: nooo (as i said last time i’ve never dated so these are all no’s so you can skip around a bit i suppose)

7. been cheated on: nooo

8. kissed someone and regretted it: nooo

9. lost someone special: yea

10. been depressed: nope

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: drinking makes ya do bad stuff kids

list three favorite colors (12-15)…

grey, light blue nd light green !

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: yeAH SO MANY! irl and online i’m so thankful for everyone i’ve met~~ since i started uni i was rlly nervous abt meeting people and although i have one (1) new friend irl (shoutout to my main main main kat @atshinee literally where would i be w/o you i probably woulda gotten stuck at camp bc of the hail storm) i’ve met countless lovely individuals online that i am forever grateful for;;; now i’m being all sappy someoNE STOP ME

16. fallen out of love: nooo

17. laughed until you cried: almost everyday~~

18. found out someone was talking about you: oh yea

19. met someone who changed you: YES

20. found out who your true friends are: yeah!

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: nooooooooooooooope

general stuff

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: idk like probably actually 80% but they’re not people i talk to now ? (kat still yells at me abt my answer last time)

23. do you have any pets: I GOT TWO CATS TOM TOM AND MYSTERY THEY ARE ADORABLE BEANS ND I LIKE TO BRAG ABT THEM SO ASK ME FOR PICS

24. do you want to change your name: i like my name a lot tbh (there’s so many endless nickname possibilities honestly)

25. what did you do for your last birthday: i got gelato w two of my closest frandssss and also listened to nct dream like the whole day it was the best

26. what time did you wake up: um m m i think 9? yesterday i went to bed at 3:30 and woke up at 7:30 so i slept in more today lol

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: trying to read a soonhoon fic from eep and messaging ivy:D

28. name something you cannot wait for: uM IDK EVERYTHING I WAS WAITING FOR ALREADY HAPPENED i guess just moving back to school and starting classes??? i’m so anxious ugh

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: 4 ? hours ago ?

30. what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: um idk i think i’m pretty blessed to be completely honest

31. what are you listening to right now: there’s construction going on in the distance idk what they’re doing but it is LOUD

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: i’m so shook people haven’t talked to any toms i’ve met so many i don’t undeRSTAND

33. something that is getting on your nerves: ignorance *finger guns*

34. most visited website: tumblr (i haven’t been on youtube much lately cry)

35. elementary school: yeahhh

36. high school: yeahhh

37. college: yeahhh

38. hair color: blonde

39. long or short hair: it’s so long rn i’m constantly choking on it

40. do you have a crush on someone: crushes are for noobs

41. what do you like about yourself: “everything, love yourself.” -kat

42. piercings: ears but i never wear them

43. blood type: idk my parents are both AB so my mom says we’re that too but mom that’s not how genetics work

44. nickname: i have so many but my most common one is mir~ i answer to anything tho

45. relationship status: engaged to jeon wonwoo

46. zodiac sign: cancer~

47. pronouns: she/her

48. favorite tv show: game of thrones or below deck (watch it it’s a reality show abt a yacht crew it’s so entertaining)

49. tattoos: nope i’m too indecisive

50. righty or lefty: right

first…

51. surgery: i had surgery junior year of high school

52. piercing: did they not already ask this oh jk this is first well i still only have ears

53. best friend: in the womb bitchhh (-8 months would be the official age)

54. sport: i think karate ? my dad is super sporty tho so sister and i tried every sport known to man

55. vacation: probably washington bc i have a lot of family there

56. pair of sneakers: literally who knows this tho

right now…

57. eating: nothing

58. drinking: now i’m drinking tea

59. i’m about to: eat a bagel maybe

60. listening to: good luck by aoa (yessss my girls)

61. waiting for: jordyn to get off work so i can see her new dorm:D

62. do you want kids: i always have

63. do you want to get married: i don’t really know marriage seems so outdated…

64: what career do you want: journalist (yay)

which is better…

65. hugs or kisses: hugs!

66. lips or eyes: eyes!

67. shorter or taller: i don’t have much preference but i’m tall and i like being tall

68. older or younger: i don’t really care bc some older people are really immature and some younger people are really mature so~

70. nice arms or nice stomach: i really really don’t care

71. sensitive or loud: these honestly aren’t even antonyms

72. hook up or relationship: relationship

73. troublemaker or hesitant: i’ve never been a troublemaker so ?

have you ever…

74. kissed a stranger: nooo

75. drank hard liquor: neh ?

76. lost glasses/lenses: i have above average vision boiiiii

77. turned someone down: i mean;;;; i think most people have at least indirectly

78. had sex on the first date: nooo

79. broken someone’s heart: i really doubt it lol

80. had your heart broken: jeon wonwoo breaks my heart daily

81. been arrested: nooo

82. cried when someone died: yeahh

83. fallen for a friend: no

do you believe in…

84. yourself: YEAH I GOT THIS! YOU GOT THIS! WE ALL GOT THIS!

85. miracles: maybe ?

86. love at first sight: not even a little bit

87. santa claus:

LOOK AT SOONYOUNG I’M LAUGHING

88. kiss on the first date: i mean i don’t see why not

89. angels: maybe ?

other…

90. current best friends name: sister n em n kat n cass n jords n val :3

91. eye color: grey ish

92. favorite movie: the proposal was my favorite movie for so long;;; i liked moonlight a lot too go see it

random questions

dude i fucking forgot abt this one i thought i was done fuck (why is this font so tiny)

relationship status: single for 19 years bishhhhhhhh favorite color: grey!! but i’ve been feelin orange lately hmmmm lipstick or chapstick: i like tinted lip balm:) but i even use vaseline sometimes try it okay it makes yo lips so soft last song you listened to: well i already said so i’ll do what’s stuck in my head rn: coffee by bts (it’s so good i get such calming vibes from it) last movie you watched: BABY DRIVER it was so ffffff good 100/10 would rec~ the car chases were so cool dude also ansel elgort is such a cutie top 3 characters: i’ll as april ludgate from parks n rec (are you happy jords), celaena from throne of glass, ndddd risa koizumi from lovcom:) top 3 ships: jejun ! soonwoo ! MARKHYUCK(ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ books you are currently reading: rnnnn i’m STILL reading heir of fire (don’t worry cass i will finish it in time) top 5 musicals: mulan is endlessly iconic okay, hsm, phantom of the opera, the sound of music nd mama mia !

eight things

last movie watched: baby driver hoo hoo last song listened to: me gustas tu bitchhhhh last book read: Crown of Midnight still oops sorry cass i’m so damn slow these days last thing eaten: fig newtons (buy newton by monsta x on itunes) if you could be anywhere right now, where would you be: wherever @atshinee is because i want to support her for her test but i know i would probably just distract her:(((((( a fictional character you would hang out with for the day: probably dorian from throne of glass bc he just seems like such a lovable dork i want to give him a big ole hug he needs it what fictional world/universe would you want to spend a week in: i used to be obsessed w the series Gregor the Overlander as a kid and i’d really want to spend a day there that would be so awesome esp the one where they travel through the one rainforest jungle… but also Harry Potter bc i rlly want to go to hogwarts and just;;; look around? it’s so pretty and i want to see all the paintings and staircases and the people it’d be great last video game played: i’ve never rlly played video games… i used to play the sims does that count rip

well it’s finally frickin done i doubt anyone bared w me for this trainwreck…….. i’m so tired now will i even do more of these today jk i gotta i am so behind but no selfie tags i look trash

#tagged #bye #this was so long #time to sleep #jk #i'm not that tired #just ded #thank you guys for tagging me!!!#i think that was everyone???#some of those are a bit old rip #who even read this like wow that's dedication #it's like;;; not even rly funny either so rip #only do this if you want to ofc!!#cries bc the random qs was the first tag jen bean tagged me in:(((#mir moos

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goldenmilkstudies · 7 years

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~Question Tag~

I was tagged by @fsstudies to answer these questions about myself.

I’m sorry it took so long for me to answering (holidays and introduction week of uni), so thank you for waiting patiently :).

Since I’m quite new to all this I am keen to know more about y’all. I’m tagging the following to do this question tag. (If you’ve already done this, pls send me a link!) (If you aren’t tagged but still want to participate, do! and say you are ghost-tagged by me (I guess I just invested something – tell me if I’m wrong lol)).

@colorfulstudiess @rad-study @studioussummi @smallbeanstudies @hufflepuffsstudies @studyfeather @the-girlygeek @ubestudies

Last

Drink – water

Phone call – a girl Andrea, bc I didn’t know how to get to her apartment

Text message – 8008, that’s a service in the Netherlands which sends a text to the number you texted them saying that you’d like to call them but you don’t have enough credit(?)

Song you listened to – Notion by Tash Sultana

Time you cried – Yesterday

Have you

Dated someone twice – I guess not

Kissed someone and regretted it – nah

Been cheated on – idk

Lost someone special – no

Been depressed – not diagnosed but I’m pretty sure I was a few years ago

Gotten drunk and thrown up – once the following morning with my first hangover :/

List 3 favourite colours

Forrest green | Burgundy | Yellow

In the last year have you

Made new friends – yass, especially last week during my intro at uni

Fallen out of love – yup and fallen back in love (with the same person)

Laughed until you cried – I don’t remember so no

Found out someone was talking about you – sadly

Met someone who changed you – I think I met someone during the intro that is changing me

Kissed someone on your Facebook list – my boyfriend

General

How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life – all

Do you have any pets – three cats and one doggo

Do you want to change your name – I want to move to an English speaking country so I would maybe change my last name

What did you do for your last birthday – cooked dinner for my friends and family

What time did you wake up – 4 pm (went to bed at 8:30am) (bc this was the last night of the intro)

What were you doing at midnight last night – at Andrea drinking and playing picolo

Name something you can’t wait for – to see/touch my boyfriend, but also uni to start

When was the last time you saw your mom – on Sunday

What is one thing you wish you could change in your life – not stopping with French and German at school

What are you listening to right now – the wind going through trees, myself typing and cars passing by

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom – yass, a friend

Something that is getting on your nerves – the mess in my sister’s apartment (which I made) (where I’m staying for the intro)

Most visited websites – Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr and YouTube atm

Mole(s) – A lot, they tend to be in groups (idk why this happens lol)

Mark(s) – inside my left arm and on the left side of my back

Childhood dream – can’t remember oops

Hair colour – blond / dark blond / brown, it’s kinda all over the pace

Long or short hair – I have medium long hair but really want long hair

Do you have a crush on someone – nah

What do you like about yourself – outside, my eyes | inside, I have a pretty diverse personality & I am down to earth & I am accepting of all beings and expressions & I want to do a lot for the world

Piercings – two in both my lobes & helix in my left ear & industrial in my right ear

Blood type – the most common one (I forgot lol)

Nickname – family, Belle | boyfriend, Isaak | best friends, Belski

Relationship status – boyfriend

Zodiac – virgo (I read horoscopes and things but they never describe me….)

Pronouns – she/her

Favourite TV show – Grimm | Orphan Black | Dragons (from how to train your dragon)

Tattoos – none but want one

Right or left hand – right

Surgery – yas

Hair dyed in different colour – purple :0

Sport – rn nothing but at uni I plan to do yoga & strength training & boot camp and maybe dance if I like a class

Vacation – this year to Athens with friends and to Berlin with my boyfriend

Pair of trainers – black puma trinomic and salmon coloured asics

More general

Eating – vegan, I aim for a whole foods diet | atm I’d like to eat Mexican food tbh

Drinking – water | rooibos & camomile tea | chai latte

I’m about to – eat bc the kitchen was occupied with people from the hall

Waiting for – the wifi to have a chill so I can actually be productive for once

Want – FOOOOOOD

Get married – I don’t necessarily want to, but I’m willing to compromise

Career – my dream is to have a vegan lunchroom, but I’d also like to write a blog or books or own a shop or a business

Hugs or kisses – kissing while hugging (?)

Lips or eyes – I think that eyes can almost never be ugly but lips can be, so eyes

Shorter or taller – I’m okay with my height (wow we are the same height @fsstudies)

Older or younger – I don’t mind growing older, I do mind not using the time I got

Nice arms or nice stomach – idc as long as it all works together

Sensitive or loud – sensitive

Hook up or relationship – relationship, tho I’d like to be able to have hook ups from time to time

Troublemaker or hesitant – neither (?)

Have you ever

Kissed a stranger – yas

Drank hard liquor – gotta love the 43

Lost glasses / contact lenses – I don’t own them so no

Turned someone down – yas, a friend :(

Sex on the first date – nahhhhh

Broken someone’s heart – probably

Had your heart broken – can’t remember

Been arrested – no but I got a warning for driving (lol trying to) without a license

Cried when someone died – All. The. Time. I get really emotional abt other people’s deaths

Fallen for a friend – sorta

Do you believe in

Yourself – too little

Miracles – no

Love at first sight – no, there can be a connection but I wouldn’t call that love tbh

Santa Claus – urm yeah…

Kiss on the first date – depends

Other

Current best friend name – I don’t have a Best Friend, just a close group of friends

Eye colour – hazel

Favourite movie – atm, “I, origin” and “Mad Max”

Thank you for coming this far :0, enjoy your day ♥

#questions tag #answered #questions #study #studyblr #studyspo #procastination

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theangry-ace · 7 years

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I care more about the girl in R18 drama cd; another short reviews

God I’ve gone through so many titles and it’s hard to find a series with a good balance of good story, good boys and good ecchi, but unfortunately most are not.

It's not that there's a lack of good ones though. there are quite a lot of them actually. but just that the MCs in most titles are just too... unnaturally passive ALL THE TIME! would it not sell if they made MC more strong-willed and actually would stand her ground and not let herself being pushed around and bullied? I want a title where the MC actually kick some ass. literally or metaphorically, I don't mind, just give me an ass kicking scene!!!! give me a girl who will not put up with the bullshit!

anyhow, here’s the third batch of my reviews. the first and second are here if you’re insterested. I spoil a lot so read with caution.

I found most of these from Airavalky.

Love tranquilizer story: 5/5 icha icha; 5/5 this is bias bc this was my first R18 drama cd. made me notice of sawa manaka. also where I realized finger sucking is my thing lol. I believe this series is still ongoing and has a one or two more other characters but these are all that I’ve gone through. the concept is 'tranquilizing' relationship. each one of them started as casual relationship with no commitment, but later progressed to be something much more. Takemiya Yuki = osanajimi character. he sounds like a insensitive jerk but he actually cared too much about the girl. his story is that he gained a lot of attention in high school due to his basketball and girl decided to keep a distance from him to avoid jealous fans. dude didn’t like it at all but he played along until he just kinda begged her to chose him over trying to pretend they don't have anything to do with one another. second season he had to move away bc of uni and their issue there is adapting with long distance relationship for the first time, and they're struggling to make it work. Houbai Kazuhide = a more matured character from work. he is the one with the finger sucking thing hehehe. they started very neutral relationship but after a drunken one night stand, they thought they'd be sexfriends to "relieve one another's stress". after a while dude gets an omiai and wanted to end the relationship, only later to realize his feelings for the girl is real. second volume for his story is quite realistic couple's problems I enjoyed it so fucking much 10/10 will go back to this just for the drama. Matsuzawa Tasuku (Sawa Manaka) = this was my actual first R18 drama cd so it left quite an impression on me haha. I thought I’d prefer 'manly' voice but actually I like this youthful/playful voice much better. guy is kinda an up and coming celebrity and the girl is his manager. I think at first they're just sexfriends but one time had sex with no condom and thought if girl got pregnant she would have to quit her job and he don't want that so he decided they should be a real couple instead... I think. he speaks too fast for me to understand completely. I’ll get back to this once my Japanese is a bit better.

Madoromi no alice story: 1/5 icha icha: 5/5 don't be fooled by the pretty cover art. not much story in this except a girl sex dream with many versions of her boyfriend, with alice in wonderland as theme. the tokutens are quite intense with the sex though. if you don't know sumeragi mikado, this would be a good place to start... or bad place to start if too much ecchi is not your thing. I’d suggest Kindan Jouji, the host volume instead.

Mikkare story: 4/5 icha icha: 4/5 quite good and sweet story, though the sex takes place in very inconvenient of all places. like, in the fucking elevator????? in a storeroom???? ...but I think I need more from this series. why is there no more of this series? pls tell me there's actually more from this series.

My butler story: 3/5 icha icha: uhhhhh / 5 review: it started out good but kinda made me cringe halfway, especially Cider's. it's kinda creepy like I know the MC is supposed to be a projection of you but the 'grooming'/teaching scene is too... pedophilic-ish to me I couldn't bring myself to listen to the end.

Otona no marchen story: 2/5 icha icha: 3/5 review: interesting concept of the fairy tale but not too complex; just taking the fairytale and put the sex in them. a bit too simple but good nonetheless. I like the peter pan one bc of the lol. the cinderella one is what you called a yandere? i feel so bad for the girl i wish there was another tokuten where she actually escaped from the prince or prince gets less of a possessive asshole.

Otona kareshi story; 4/5 icha icha; intense AF /5 review; sumeragi mikado doing yandere/controlling bf is very scary sometimes but he did it very convincingly. the White side is on the ~gentler~ side compared to the Black. sex scene has variety, uhh, acts? like there's paizuri and mentions of urinating and it's not something i found that in many titles mentioning those yet so... that's something!

Otona tomodachi story; 4/5 (blue side only) icha icha; 4/5 (blue side only) review: this series has two ways how the guy would react, but both started out pretty much the same; they're sexfriends. Blue side, Chasuke's character will try to convince the girl not to go through the omiai and they would be a proper lovers instead. the Black side takes a darker turn I think (yandere route?) but since I don't want to ruin my image of chasuke, so I'm gonna put off from listening to them until my kokoro is ready. not anytime soon at least.

Relacion dulce story; 5/5 icha icha; 5/5 review; this is a very good series that focused on alcohol and icha icha that don't go problematic so this is stress free. vol.1 = this one has a ashikoki scene and the guy makes a very cute do-M chara. vol.2 = younger guy type. he just turned 20 (legal to drink) and they enjoyed a night drinking and sexing. vol.3 (yotsuya cider) = dude is a vet (I think) and when drunk he got loud and bitch about owls lol this one is unique since they talk about getting married and having babies. I don't think I've come across any that seriously talked about this yet so it left a big impression on me. (the only other series that talked abt the same thing is Karepilo's 10th volume (with Hirai tatsuya) where he said he want two kids and want to be the cool dad who can participate in school's sport event ugh that is the cutest god damn thing I ever heard fuck u hirai pls do more.)

Reversible story; 3 /5 icha icha: 5 / 5 review: the idea is its giving you two choices to how the ecchi scene goes; either the guy takes the lead or the girl. my fav is one with domon atsushi bc his oresama character is a real selfish asshole so having the side where his girl handcuffed him to the bed and decided to leave him is very amusing I clapped for the girl lol 10/10 would repeat many times over just to laugh at him hahaha. the iyashi(healing) bf side is very accurately titled.

Rouge et noir story; 5/5 icha icha: drugged and intense /5 review: story's really fucking good and suspenseful. icha icha is intense, understandably it was supposed to be induced by drug. I've only heard of two volumes (kawamura masato & sawa manaka as CV) but there’s also a third and fourth I think. basically girl is a rookie cop and she's one of them to take down a dangerous drug ring. why a rookie for this type of mission, though? I think the whole series focused on one girl but the stories they don't cross with one another. ugh I really really want to buy the whole seriessssss this is the exact amount of thrilling drama and icha icha that I wanttttt

Shinsoku ren'ai story: rape / 5 icha icha; rape / 5 review: rape. the kind where the sex will eventually ~magically~ made the girl fall in love with the rapist and somehow that's okay?? even for a porn??? case 1 (sawa manaka) = he started out fine but he grew increasingly possessive and jealous. he relocate girl's office to next to him, made her move in with him, all without the girl's say. he confined her in his home too. I think this is the least offensive of the three volumes since it ended with the dude stopped doing all that shit to her. well, kinda. case 2 - oh god this is too much rape I get nightmares. girl is the private tutor to the student guy. guy confessed one day but she refused. what comes next is traumatizing so only proceed if you know what to expect. case 3 (sumeragi mikado) - guy is the younger brother to the girl but he forced her to have sex with him, or he would go to her friends instead? I... I can't do this kind of shit. esp when girl eventually just accepts his 'love' in the end. why is this the theme for sexually abused victims??? can't just one of them gets their justice??? pleaseee

Shitsuji no prince-sama story: 3/5 icha icha: 4/5 review: I think it's pretty decent bc I really do like characters using keigo, but this is not very, uhh, satisfying? since they're kinda short. are they from a visual novel or something? not that they're not good; they’re great and I love the CVs here. the butlers will mention they have something to do with another career but my Japanese can't catch exactly why they had to be butlers as well. all I can get is that the girl had to stay in the mansion for two months for some reason.

Souai-sei no eshisu story; 3/5 icha icha: 3/5 review: look, I do not, for the life of me, will ever understand that someone would risk having their loved ones doubt, made them cry, argue or misunderstand that leads to a complete break of their cherished relationship, for the sake of keeping a secret of a fucking BIRTHDAY SURPRISE! JUST TELL THEM YOU ARE PLANNING A SURPRISE DON'T LEAVE THEM ALONE FEEDING THE DEMON WITH THEIR TRUST ON YOU! DO YOU WANT TO BREAK UP OVER A FUCKING BIRTHDAY SURPRISE?! anyway. this is sawa manaka though. not his best works IMO but this might just be me.

Suki ni natte wa ikenai kare story: 3/5 icha icha; 3/5 review; the theme is cheating. guy already has a gf and girl a bf. there's two ways their story would end, 'good ending' as in they break off with their then partners and date one another instead, or 'bad end' as in they sexed for the last time and swear to never see each other again. for this kind of theme I don't mind much, but not something I prefer. I may be aro but I know how much it hurts when ppl decided they would rather lie to you rather than come upfront and being honest.

#drama cd #drama cd reviews

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