#also english is at least her third language so if any of you read what she says in bad faith that's an instant block

[13lizardsinatrenchcoat]

CHRISTIANE AMANPOUR, CHIEF INTERNATIONAL ANCHOR: Welcome to the program, everyone. I’m Christiane Amanpour in London.

For 10 straight days, protests have engulfed ever increasing parts of Iran. The most severe since the so-called Green Revolution of 2009. The fury this time is over women’s rights, especially the current hard-line government’s crackdown on the dress code. It erupted after the death of 22-year-old Mahsa Amini, who had been hauled in over her headscarf by the Morality Police and died while in their custody 10 days ago.

State media and human rights group say that dozens have been killed in the violence so far. Despite internet restrictions and the harsh reaction of security forces. The protests show no sign of abating. In fact, they’re spreading. Demonstrations took place outside the Iranian embassies in London and Paris over the weekend.

Joining me now is Marjane Satrapi. A French-Iranian author and filmmaker who rose to global super stardom with her graphic novel “Persepolis” which tells a story of her coming of age in Iran during the birth of the Islamic Republic and her personal struggles with that oppressive environment

Marjane Satrapi, welcome to the program.

MARJANE SATRAPI, FILM DIRECTOR AND AUTHOR, “PERSEPOLIS”: Hello, Christiane. Thank you for having me.

AMANPOUR: So, I wanted to get your feeling as you watch what’s unfolding there. How does it make you react, given that you saw quite a lot of that when you were much younger and still growing up in Iran?

SATRAPI: Well, obviously it gives me lots of sadness because I — the situation doesn’t change. When I wrote “Persepolis”, it was this hope that, you know, we’re — we will be [living] in a better word and in a better Iran. The situation has not changed. It gives me lots of anger, but at the same time, it also gives me lots of joy because this revolt, these demonstrations, they’re extremely different from all whatever else we have seen here in Iran.

Actually...for example. The first demonstration against the veil, that was in 1980. The women went to the street to contest that they didn’t wanted to put veil. But not only they were alone, they were not so much supported by the men. But even the leftist opposition left them alone saying that the veil that was not their problem and that was a fight of social classes.

When that was a demonstration in 2009, the Green Movement, again that was a seek for a reform. They want, you know, the country to be transformed. And that was this reformist, the so-called reformist that were actually part of this system. Mousavi was the big leader but at the same time, he was the prime minister of Iran with — at the darkest time actually of the Islamic republic. And that was the reform.

...Now, what I see actually is a fight for the women, but the women, they are not alone. There are with boys. ...The boys and girls, they’re all this new generation.

AMANPOUR: Marjane, let me ask you because you said it’s very different this time. And you have been speaking to young people in Iran —

SATRAPI: Yes.

AMANPOUR: — from where you are in Paris. What are they saying to you?... Boys and girls, what are they saying to you?

SATRAPI: What they say to me is that they don’t want the system anymore. They want democracy. I mean, they don’t believe in the reform and their rights. Iran’s government is a dictatorship. If a dictatorship opens for reform, for being transformed, it stops being a dictatorship. Reform and dictatorship doesn’t go together.

So, this is something not possible. You cannot make this government to become a democratic government because it’s... a dictatorship. And they want a new — they want a new government. They want a new regime. They want a new system.

And I talked to them and this generation, they’re very, very different from us. I mean, we have to know that, you know, the time that the Islamic revolution happened, only 40 percent of Iranian people, they could read and write. Now, it’s above 80 percent of them.

This people they have — they’re born with internet. They have access, actually, to the information around the world. This new generation — first of all, they claim not to be sexist at all. You see — I mean, the big slogan is, zan, zindagi, azadi. Woman, life, freedom. And the Human rights

— I mean, the women rights is the human rights.

In any society, Iran or anywhere else in the world, if the women are repressed, if half of the population there were — they’re actually worth [less than] ... the other half just because of their gender, we cannot talk about democracy and human rights. Women right and human right is the same thing.

And this is something that they have understood.

So, that gives lots of hope because I always thought and I always believe that the biggest enemy of democracy is the patriarchal culture. Yet these young boys, this young — I spoke actually with one today, and he was like, of course, we are equal to the girls. Of course, there is no difference. And the — this generation, you cannot fool them like they fooled our generation. And Iranian people, in general, they’re much more secular than 40 years ago.

And this is exactly the basis of the problem. You have a government which is not absolutely in touch with its population. It doesn’t know what the population wants. They think they are the majority. They have a basis, for sure. But this is not the majority of the country. If the majority of the country was with the government, it would not be called a dictatorship again. And, yes ...knowing all of that, if a government is not in touch with its population that it cannot govern them because you have to know your people.

AMANPOUR: Well, we’ll talk about that in a minute because this has been going on for 40 years and more, as you’ve just said. But... just so people understand this battle with the Morality Police has been going on since the very early days of the revolution. And you, yourself, wrote about it, drew it in your book, “Persepolis”, and then it’s a scene obviously in, you know, in the film...

SATRAPI: Well, you know, the veil is — actually, this veil is the symbol of this Islamic. You know, it’s the big tree that hides a big forest. A veil is an excuse. I mean, when we were kids, I mean, they literally told us, men, when they will see your hair, they will become horny. And this is why you have to cover your hair.

So, I don’t know. I mean, if somebody by seeing my hair or by seeing my body, the reaction that it creates in this person is out of my business. That is their business. If they become horny, you know, they can take a cold shower, or I don’t know, go and see a shrink or try to look somewhere else, you know, to the sky or something. So, that is the way we grow up.

So, the way, itself — you know, like each year we fought a little bit to have one millimeter more of hair coming out. And it was another question of fashion, each millimeter of hair, for us, that we could show more, it was a step forward towards our freedom.

Because this veil, actually in Iran, means you, woman, you’re a sexual object that is just here for the desire of the man, you tempted the man. So, this is why for you not to create this temptation, you have to cover your hair.

Now, what they forget actually, in this society, the woman of this society, 60 percent of the students in Iran, they are girls, and our best they are girls. They only Nobel Prize that they have had in the history of Iran was won by the woman. The biggest medal in mathematics, science was won by Maryam Mirzakhani in Iranian woman. The Iranian novelist, the women, they are the one that are the most translated, the most read, et cetera, et cetera. I just saw, you know, in America, they published the name of the 10 most successful bankers in the U. S., and three of them, they are Iranian women.

They have this highly educated, extremely powerful, extremely intelligent women, and they tell them you have to cover your hair because we might get tempted by you. Well, just don’t get [tempted].

You know, I mean they reduced the woman to this — to the — to just a piece of me.

AMANPOUR: Yes.

SATRAPI: And if you want to talk about a piece of me for the Iranian people, you know, raw, medium, or well-cooked, a mawla (ph) is a mawla

That’s not going to change....

AMANPOUR: But in fact, the Morality Police are more aggressive and less aggressive over the last period of 20 plus years, depending on which president is in power. So, the question I have for you is certainly a lot of expats hope and a lot of people there hope that this is the end of this dictatorship as you put it.

But is it? We’ve seen protests come and go and we’ve seen them be brutally put down.

SATRAPI: Yes, I know. But every movement that has been a suppressed and has been put down has put us a little bit forward.

You know, democracy is a culture. Is — actually, is an education. You have to have a democratic culture, actually, to inspire to the democracy. Otherwise, it does not work. We have the example of Afghanistan, for example.

So, when you have this youth that want a change, maybe it will not happen today and maybe it will, you know, let’s not lose our hope. Maybe it will happen. But this is the basis, you know, of the future. The future of this kids that are 20 years old now. The future of the country is not some old bearded guy sitting, you know, somewhere hiding from the population. These are the future. And this is the people of Iran.

And when people they want equality, when people they want freedom, after a while it breaks down. Never forget — we should never forget that Soviet Union with all their KGB, everything, for 70 years, you know, they were big dictators. We are right. We are right. At then they explode because the human being is made for freedom.

And this whole idea that human rights is a westerner conception. No, it’s not a westerner conception. It’s a standard for living and it concern all the human being. And again, this question of veil and the police of that, you know, if I — me, as a person, I don’t have the right to wear what I want or to show my hair or not to show my hair. How do you expect me to have the right to think or to express myself or to express myself or to choose for myself?

Excerpt from Amanpour and Company, September 26, 2022. Edited by me, September 27, 2022. "..." indicates cut text, "[ ]" indicates text edited for clarification. The full episode and a transcript of the full episode is available here.

#marjane satrapi #christiane amanpour #current affairs #international politics #iranian politics #amanpour and company #honestly satrapi has this incredible skill at acknowledging the brutality without despairing #such a great thinker and writer everyone go read persepolis right now #also english is at least her third language so if any of you read what she says in bad faith that's an instant block

[xcaptain-winterx]

Requests are open you say? How about Steve Rogers having a huge crush on the new recruit (reader) and being very awkward in trying to pursue her

Be a man

Steve Rogers x reader

summary: above

warnings: fluff, awkwardness, shy Steve, cum

a/n: English is not my first language, meaning you will probably find a lot of misspelling etc.

Part 2

Main Masterlist Steve Rogers Masterlist

Steven Grant Rogers also known as the hero Captain America. Fought against Hydra and their leader Red Skull, his brainwashed best friend, Ultron, his own team and even Thanos. You would think that Americas golden boy is unstoppable, that nothing can stop him.

You’re wrong.

See, Steve has years of experience in fighting due to the fact that he’s over a hundred years old and fought in World War Two. The only thing he doesn’t know about, or to be more specific, doesn’t have any experience with, is the opposite sex. Steve has never been on a date or had a real first kiss. Ok, yeah, he kissed Peggy and Natasha once, but that meant nothing. God, he’s still a virgin.

To sum it up, Steve is an awkward bean around women. He doesn’t always show it obviously, but ask him something not work related with a flirty smile, and he starts to sweats like a polar bear in the desert.

Steve always thought that he was going to be able to talk to ‘the girl’ once he saw her, that he will have no problem to communicate with her.

He thought wrong.

Steve is in the training room, punching the punching bag until it falls off again. He was supposed to be training with Sam, but he hasn’t shown up. So far, Sam always showed up or at least texted him if something came in between and he couldn’t make it. Steve stops hitting the punching bag and goes over to the bench where his phone is laying. He picks it up and swipes it open, seeing that he didn’t receive any text message from Sam.

It’s not normal for Sam to be late, so Steve decides that he’s going to look for Sam. He puts his phone in his pocket and walks out of the gym, in the direction of the living area.

As he walks down the hallway Bucky crosses his path, “Hey pal, have you seen Sam”, Steve asks.

“No, but I can imagine he’s talking to the new recruits, telling them something about teamwork makes the dream work, or some other shit”, Bucky says, mimicking Sam’s voice.

Steve’s brows furrow; what new recruits? Steve heard nothing about new recruits. “I don’t know anything about new recruits?”

“Transferred from a SHIELD base in Germany, I think. Sam will probably force us to introduce us to them”, Bucky says. Steve knows that it’s hard for Bucky to talk or communicate with new and many people at once, but he knows that he’s trying his best. Since he began going to therapy, his old self made more and more of an appearance, and Bucky feels a lot better in general even though it’s hard sometimes. He’s proud of Bucky. He’s trying his best.

“Better we do it now than later. Come on, Buck”, Steve says, patting his shoulder, and pulling him with him.

Bucky lets out a chuckle, “Ok”.

Both super soldiers walk towards the meeting rooms, thinking they might be there when Bucky suddenly stops walking. Steve looks at Bucky, silently questioning why he stopped. Bucky reads Steve’s facial expression before pointing towards the end of the hallway, “found him”.

Steve follows Buckys finger and sees Sam. Sam is not alone, he’s with a woman. A beautiful woman. A goddess.

Bucky sees Steve’s face heating up. “You good, pal?” he asks with a teasing voice. Steve doesn’t answer him, to lost in the woman’s beauty next to Sam. Bucky snaps his fingers in front of Steve’s face, trying to get him back to reality, but it doesn’t work.

Lost in thoughts, or to be more specific the woman, Steve doesn’t see how Sam noticed them too, and is calling them over.

“Steve!”

Steve comes back to reality when Sam calls him for the third time. Bucky laughs at Steve’s confused puppy stare, looking like he just woke up from a coma without any knowledge of what happened before. It gets worse as they see how Sam and the woman are now walking towards them. Bucky feels Steve panicking next to him. “Hey Steve, calm down, ok?” Bucky whispers to him.

“Mhm”, Steve answers, not being able to form any words. Sam and the Woman getting closer and closer to them.

“Remember, we just introduce ourselves” Bucky tries to calm him down, his own anxiety leaving and instead focusing on helping his friend, “You can do this. Just remember to think and talk at the same time, and don’t just stare at her”. If his friend wasn’t looking like a dead fish Bucky would’ve really enjoyed this moment. Him helping his friend talk to a woman like he did back in the 40s, but nothing about Steve’s current problem is funny. Well, maybe the fact that he for real looks like a dead fish.

“Ok” Steve says.

“Ok”

“Ok”

“You can do this, Steve”

“Ok”

And the woman gets closer and closer.

Steve begins to murmur what he wants to say, making Bucky look nervously at him.

The woman and Sam are now almost completely by them as Steve suddenly says, “I need to finish the mission report”, before sprinting the other direction.

“Hey, why did Steve-“ Sam can’t finish because Bucky is already sprinting after Steve, leaving him and the woman utterly confused. “BUCKY!”

Sam puts his hands on his hips, “normally they are not like this, ok? They probably just remembered to take their anti-aging cream”. He turns to you, “Super soldiers, you know”.

You smile as Sam claps your shoulders and says, “how about I show you the training room?”. You nod, letting him lead you to the training room.

Meanwhile, Steve is sprinting towards his room, looking like a gazelle who’s running away from a predator. Steve thought he could talk to her, but no.

Once he reaches his room, he locks the door, and then just stands there, staring at the locked door; what just happened? He begins to hyperventilate like how his pre serum self did when he had an asthma attack. The room feels like it’s shrinking. Steve feels small and scared. Just the sight of the woman made him with a snap of a finger feel like his weak 40s self before the serum. Back when no one liked him.

While Steve is having a panic attack, Bucky is running towards Steve’s room. Bucky started running after him some seconds after he sprinted away, and normally Bucky would’ve caught up to him, but Steve’s panic and the super soldier serum made it a bit difficult. Luckily, Bucky knows Steve like no one else and knows that he’s hiding in his room.

“Steve?” Bucky asks, knocking on the door. “You good, pal? Can I come in?”. He waits, but no answer comes, so he tries opening the door but it’s locked.

Bucky sighs, “Steve, let me in”.

On the other side, Steve is debating if he should let his best friend in. His debating goes too long for Bucky though because the next thing Steve hears is Bucky saying ‘Friday unlock the door’, and the door opens.

Bucky walks in, seeing a teared eyed Steve who’s breathing fast and heavy. Bucky strikes over to him and pulls him slowly down to the floor, sitting face to face with each other. He takes his hand and puts it on his heart, “Steve, hey. Focus on me. Focus on my heartbeat. You feel mine?” Bucky says, putting his other hand on Steve’s heart, feeling how his heart is still beating fast. “Steve, focus on my heartbeat”.

Steve looks at his friend and tries to focus on his heart. He closes his eyes, only trying to listen to Bucky’s heartbeat. “Yeah, I feel it”.

Bucky gives him a smile, “ok, good”.

They sit in silent for a few minutes, Steve’s heart beating now slower and his breaths coming out normally.

Bucky waits until Steve’s heartbeat is fully back to normal before asking “better?”.

Steve nods, “I didn’t think we would have had to use that method on me”, he says chuckling.

This calming method showed Bucky’s therapist, Steve. She told him that it would help Bucky calm down when he’s having a panic attack, and it did in fact help. The night after she explained it to him, Bucky woke up from a nightmare and started to panic. Steve’s room is right next to him, so he heard his friend’s panic. He tried the method that night and it worked perfectly. It took some while until Bucky calmed down, but it was way faster than without the method, and Bucky was able to fall asleep again after.

To other people, this method may look a bit weird, but it calms his best friend down, so who cares? It’s also no surprise that Steve is the only one allowed to do this method. Sam once tried it and Bucky punched him in his face when he put his hand on his chest. Sam left the room angrily and annoyed with a broken bloody nose. Bucky punched him with his metal arm. He thought Sam was in danger that second and in a state of danger he uses his metal arm. Bucky apologized to Sam though, and he truly felt bad and sorry. Sam instantly forgave him though, he knows it wasn’t his intention.

At least not in that situation.

Bucky even ‘baked’ Sam some brownies. Well, more like bought some Brownies and said he baked them. Sam knew he didn’t, but said nothing and just enjoyed eating some good, tasteless brownies with a smile on his face.

“Well, we didn’t think you would ever run away from a girl”.

Steve sighs, “Yeah. Back then, they would run away from me. Now it’s me running away”

“Why did you?”

Steve shakes his head. “I don’t know. I got scared I guess?”.

When Steve looks at Bucky again, he comes to face with a blank stare. It kinda reminds him of Bucky’s winter soldier stare. If they weren’t having an emotional and serious conversation, Steve would’ve been actually concerned that something happened that made Bucky go into Winter Soldier mindset.

Bucky scares Steve when he suddenly jumps up, “You know what” he pulls Steve up, almost making him fall over “You will have that girl”.

“Huh?” he asks, confused.

“Or just someone”.

He doesn’t like the thought of Bucky helping him. Bucky was a true player back then, a gentleman, but a player.

“I help you talk to women. I can do that. I did that a hundred years ago” he stops when he realizes “fucking hell, that’s a long time ago”.

Steve scowls, “Language, Buck”.

“Sorry”.

“I get that you’re trying to help me, and I appreciate that” Steve takes a deep breath before continuing, “but I can’t”

“Why?” Bucky asks crossing his arms, standing like an angry parent.

“I just can’t, ok? Also, colleges are not allowed to be in a romantic relationship”.

“Then look for someone else. There’s this woman named Leah. She works at my favorite sushi place and I heard-“

“I don’t want someone else!”

Bucky raises an eyebrow, a teasing grin on his face. “Ohhhh, so you want her. Ok, Steven. I see you”. He winks at Steve as he groans.

“I didn’t say that. I just-ugh, I like her, but-there’s not gonna be anything between us” he tries to give his best friend a reassuring smile, but knowingly fails. “You can ask Leah out”, Steve tries changing the topic.

“No, she’s not my type”.

Bucky knows that Steve won’t stop having a crush on the new recruit. It took Steve a hundred years to get over Peggy. He was still in love with her even after being unfrozen. Now imagine he’s thinking about the new recruit until he dies. Bucky doesn’t want that. God, he was honestly happy when Peggy passed. That woman was like a snake slithering her way into his friends heart only to poison it. He didn’t like her from the second she interrupted Steve and his conversation. Dumb Bitch.

He wants his friend to be happy. He wants to be an uncle. He hopes Steve will get himself together and talk to her.

“Ok. Whatever you say”, Bucky says, patting him on his shoulder. They continue talking, but this time about what movie they are going to watch for their ‘we need to learn about cinematic history’ movie night. While talking, Bucky’s mind continues to wander back to their original conversation, and about the fact that Steve doesn’t want some dating teaching from him. In all honesty, he’s slightly hurt by that.

He could still help him somehow, though.

It’s been a week now since he saw the new recruit and he’s been trying to avoid any situation that could lead to him seeing her. Steve knows it sounds silly, but he’s scared of her. Scared of seeing her. Scared of her seeing him. He hasn’t been training for a week. Steve knows the chances are high that she will be there. The only sort of trying he did this week was going for a run. Alone.

Sam noticed a change in Steve. Everybody did. Steve was never a huge extrovert and now he’s such an introvert. He doesn’t even eat with them anymore because she could be there, or just walk past them eating.

Today he needs to be brave, though. Bucky asked him to train together because he’s the only good match for him. Bucky told him that winning against Sam slowly starts to get boring, and that Steve needs to train again. Cardio is good, but Steve needs to do more.

After trying to convince Bucky that they can also train outside or anywhere else than the training room, he knew from Bucky’s reaction that it’s not gonna happen. So now he’s on his way to meet Bucky in the training room.

To say Steve is nervous is an understatement, he’s almost shitting his pants.

Bucky assured him they would have the room for themselves and Steve just hopes that that’s true.

Steve walks into the gym and surprisingly sees no one. No Bucky. Steve was already late because he was nervous, so it confuses him why Bucky isn’t here. He looks at the clock on the wall and sees that he’s sixteen minutes late, meaning Bucky is to late too.

“Maybe he’s still asleep”, Steve tells himself. Technically, he would be happy that Bucky is able to sleep, but it’s the first time since a week that he’s training and last time, Sam already didn’t come.

He is just about to go to Bucky’s room when he hears a soft voice.

“Well, it’s only seven in the morning”.

Steve turns around and freezes.

It’s the woman

Oh, no no no no no

“Every normal person would be asleep at this time”.

Steve is unable to speak, he’s just staring at her. Not even blinking, just staring.

She looks at him with a smile, waiting for an answer, or just something.

When Steve realizes that she’s waiting for an answer, he clears his throat. “Yeah, uhm-I uh, I mean he likes to sleep-uh- he can’t sleep that much and-uhm yeah. He normally only uhm-sleeps with me- Wait not like that-uh I mean, he just likes to sleep with me-no. He uhm, he sleeps better with-me-uhm because I’m a good sleep partner- no, I just-uhm. IM NOT GAY”.

Steve looks at her with wide eyes. He knows he just made a fool of himself, so he tries to save himself.

Tries.

“There’s obviously nothing wrong with liking-uhm men, but I’m not like that. Yeah, uhm I hate men- wait not hate men, I like them, but platonic like ha ha. I like woman. But I’m not a relationship-I uhm”, he doesn’t want to look like he is desperate for a relationship. She could think that he’s trying to ‘hit on her’. He believes that what it’s called, but you can never trust Tony. “I’m not into relationship- uhm, the romantic, uh, kind-just the other kind”

Now she looks at him with wide eyes. The only other non-relationship kind she can think of is the sexual one. She can’t believe that Captain Rogers, the golden boy, is such a man. The worst part is that Steve doesn’t understand what he just said and instead looks at her with a nervous smile. Poor boy thought it sounded more like normal relationship, platonic kind. It didn’t, though.

“You do you, I guess” she says, feeling incredibly uncomfortable. She didn’t think her first time meeting Captain America would be like this.

Steve sees that she’s not comfortable or at least confused by what he’s saying. Maybe she doesn’t like his answer.

So he continues to try to fix this conversation.

“I uhm I would like a relationship-with someone-uh I want to-“ he can’t say dancing, that sounds boring. He needs to come up with something that everyone does these days. Something that she would probably like “do Netflix and chill”.

Steve needs to get better at telling when he can trust Tony and when not.

“Oh, uhm” she doesn’t know what to say “that’s nice I guess”.

Right now, Steve would rather fight against HYDRA than talk to her. He can feel how he’s sweating. And if that already isn’t bad enough, he starts to really look at her. Oh boy.

She’s wearing tight black leggings with a matching black sport bra. She must’ve been already training for a while because he sees some drops of sweat on her chest area, running to her cleavage. Steve is directly looking at her cleavage, not taking his eyes off it.

He doesn’t notice that he’s looking at it, well, that he’s so obviously looking at it.

She puts her left hand on her right shoulder, acting like she’s massaging it, and not like she’s trying to cover her chest.

Steve’s eyes move to hers, and it only takes three seconds until realization hits him.

“Shit!” he screams, making her jump “oh, I’m sorry I didn’t want to scare you-I uhm, and I didn’t want to stare at your you know-chest. Not because they are not pretty, they are-NO Uhmmm, they uh. It’s just”.

Steve stops talking when the door opens and Bucky walks in with a smile on his face “Language, Steve. Good morning you two”. At least someone is having one.

“Morning”, she says, smiling at his best friend before walking away to lift some weight. Deep down they are both happy that Bucky saved them from the awkward situation, though, Steve is also sad because he wanted to talk to her, to have a chance, but he failed.

Bucky smiles after her, then turns to Steve. “Hey Steve, how are you?”

“You knew, didn’t you” Steve almost spats, his voice echoing throughout the training room. He turns around and sees how she is looking at them.

He quickly turns back around, facing Bucky, who just gives him an innocent smile. “What do you mean Steve?”. Bucky knows that Steve can’t say anything about that, due to the fact that she can hear everything they are saying.

Steve glares at him, grinding his teeth. “That you would be late”, he lies.

“Yeah”.

Steve wants to scream, but he can’t “why didn’t you tell me?” he asks, his veins showing.

“I texted you, Punk”, Bucky says as he walks over to get a punching bag.

Steve frowns; Bucky didn’t text him. He pulls out his phone.

Love❤️‍🔥- I’ll be a bit late

Send one minute ago

Steve cringes as he sees the name Tony and Sam saved Bucky on his phone. He would rather want Punk with that heart. Platonic style. He doesn’t know how to change it, though.

“Didn’t you see my message?” Bucky gives him a fake questioning expression. A teasing one.

“I must have missed it”, Steve says in a monotone voice “I mean it says you send it a minute ago. Bucky”.

“Oh, you know. The signal is quite bad here”

Steve closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “Yeah, Bucky. You would’ve thought that Tony would’ve already handled it”.

Bucky snickers “Yeah”.

“Yeah”.

Bucky walks with the bag over his shoulder towards a hook to hang the bag on. He turns to look at Steve, a grin on his face when his eyes move to look behind Steve.

“Hey, how about you help her, Steve~”, Bucky says loudly.

Steve follows his eyes and sees how the recruit is struggling with moving some weights out of her way, so she can put the bench there to do some bench presses.

She looks at them and gives them a shy smile. “That would be kinda nice”.

Steve looks back at Bucky, panic in his eyes. Bucky gives him a big smile that says ‘yes’.

It’s time, it’s time to shine, Steve. He can do that, he can easily lift that.

‘Ok, Steve. Pull your ass cheeks together and help her’ he thinks to himself as he walks towards her. He stops in front of her, getting lost in her eyes for a second. This time he snaps back quickly though and moves the weights away.

“Thank you, Captain Rogers”, she says, his back still towards her.

“Mhm” he can’t bring out a single word. Instead of turning back to her, he sorts the weights, so she doesn’t see him blushing. “You-You’re welcome”.

He hears her getting on the bench and takes that as his cue to leave.

“Hey, Steve!”

Please, don’t Bucky.

“You should help her. Stay behind her to make sure that her arms don’t give in”

Steve doesn’t turn around this time. He can hear how she doesn’t lift any weight, meaning she is looking at them.

“Yeah, I uhm would, but- mission reports. I need to finish the mission report”, Steve lies “important stuff you know. Not like helping her isn’t important, but yeah. Avenger stuff is important….”.

It’s that second that Bucky realizes that Steve is the worst person in admitting his crush he ever met. The best friend he is, he needs to help him. “Oh, I already did them for you”.

Great, now Steve’s lie is a lie. Thank you, Bucky.

“No, I don’t think you did”, he tries to save himself “They were on my desk this morning, unfinished”

Good job, Steve.

“I did them this morning. We were on the same mission, Steve. Only one of us needs to do them” Bucky says, punching the bag “I send you a message”.

“No, you didn’t-“ he looks at his phone to see a message from Bucky.

Love❤️‍🔥-already did the mission report.

Send a minute ago.

Bucky knows Steve like the back of his hand. He knew what excuses he would use to try to flee the scene. A laugh almost leaves his mouth as he sees the face Steve is making. God, he missed teasing him.

“I thought you were asleep”.

“No, I wanted to finish it. You’ve been quite stressed the past week, and I wanted to lift some weight of your shoulders”.

“Thanks, James”.

The tension between them is noticeable. So noticeable that the recruit is more uncomfortable than when she was alone with Steve.

She gets their attention when she walks past them to grab her water bottle. “Have fun training”

“You already leaving?” Steve asks disappointed, sad that she’s leaving.

“Yeah, I’ve already been training before you both came. Also, I need to find Sam. He promised to show me the rest of the compound. I only saw half of the facility so far and don’t want to get lost at some point”, she says. So far she didn’t get lost because the most important areas were already introduced to her, but it’s better to know the whole compound. “Bye” she waves them before opening the door and walking through it.

No one says anything until the door closes. Bucky is the first to break the silence, “wow”.

“I know you did that on purpose!”

“I was trying to make you talk to her” he grabs his shoulder “I just want to help you. She’s a beautiful woman-“

“Hey!”

“See” Bucky says, “you’re jealous when I just say that she’s pretty. You have a crush on that girl, Steve”.

Steve sighs in defeat. “Ok, maybe”.

“I KNEW IT” Bucky screams, jumping like a little kid on Christmas morning “FUCK YES, STEVE”

“Language”

He stops jumping and looks at him. “You will get that girl. I promise” Bucky looks like he’s about to cry “oh my god, you’re all grown up”.

Steve lets out a slight laugh. It’s almost ridiculous how happy Bucky is that there’s a girl that he kinda likes. It reminds him of how they talked about their futures when they were little. They talked about carriers and family, and how they will be called uncle Steve and uncle Bucky by their best friends kids.

“Are you crying?” he asks, seeing Bucky wipe his eye.

“Pfff, no”.

Oh, he’s definitely crying.

“Calm down, Bucky. Just because I like her doesn’t mean that she likes me”.

“Yeah, because you’re just an Avenger, the symbol of America, a super soldier, owner of America’s ass-“

“Ok, I get it”. Steve isn’t dumb, he knows that people know him, that he’s quite famous; god he sounds like Tony. All this doesn’t make him the most liked person in the world, though, and not everyone fall for him. Not just because he has blond hair and some women like dark hair, or he is to old schooled and doesn’t know every new show on Netflix, or women are not into him because they hate male genitals and prefer women’s….parts. The shield only shows what he shows the world and not the people he cares about. He doesn’t show his emotional side with all his flaws.

“You like her, right” Bucky asks, knowing the answer.

“Yes, of course, but-“

“Then you will go to her and tell her that”. Bucky claps his hands. “You will tell her how much you like her. You will take her dancing and to the movies. Understand?”

“Yes, Sargent” Steve smiles.

“I know she’s the one. You will propose to her at sunset and give me some nephews and nieces”. Steve laughs at Bucky’s hyper fixation about his crush. Both of them are acting like two teenage girls.

“A uncle to Steve Jr’s and….uhm…what’s her name again”

“……”

“………..”

“……………”

“………you don’t know her name?”

“no, not really”. Well, that’s awkward.

“Oh my god, Steve”, Bucky is regretting his decision to help his friend “how about we start with you introducing yourself?”

“Bucky, please don’t do anything stupid”, Steve pleads. He doesn’t want Bucky to give him to much pressure. The thought of Bucky trapping them in a closet scares him, or him basically throwing him against her.

Bucky just looks at him confused. “You will do something stupid. I’m here to prevent that from happening”.

“Promise?”

“Promise” Bucky says showing Steve his hands “I swear on Sam’s life”.

Steve smile slowly falls and Bucky corrects himself “ok, I swear on uhm, your life”.

“I guess that’s ok”

Since then Bucky’s been on the mission ‘get a sister-in-law’, with no luck though. He thought being a wingman would be easier, but it’s not. Definitely not. Or he has just a bad person that he needs to help.

So far Steve had like four times eye contact, spoke two sentences in two conversations. The one sentence only being two words.

The best try so far was when Steve was in the kitchen, reading the newspaper, when she came and asked him if he could move a bit so she can get to the fridge, and Steve said ‘yes’. He said something, made eye contact, didn’t walk away and didn’t stutter. He didn’t even sweat! Steve did this on his own without him and for that he needs an applause.

And the worst try was when he was ‘forced’ to train with her.

“You can do this Steve”, Bucky whispers to Steve before giving him a pat on the shoulder and pushing him towards the mat.

Steve still hasn’t introduced himself yet, so Bucky thought it would be a good opportunity to see the skills of the new recruits and to train with them. Surprisingly, Steve is now sparring against his crush, the woman they still don’t know the name of.

Steve walks on the mat, giving a quick look over his shoulder to see Bucky giving him a thumbs up.

He takes a deep breath before saying, “Ok, come at me”.

To say he’s impressed is an understatement. He’s fascinated by her skills, by the way she moves with such grace. Instead of directly coming at him and trying to punch him, she moves around him. She does that the whole time, dodging every single move of him while he tries to land a hit on her, well, more like pinch her. He wouldn’t hurt her. Ever.

At some point Steve finally manages to get a hold of her, but she is quicker and kicks his one leg away and then uses his arms to lift her up and wrap her legs around his neck, bringing him down. Steve is now on the mat with her legs around his neck, her directly hovering over his face. Steve doesn’t know why, but he’s not complaining about this position.

He gets himself back together and uses his legs to his lower back of the mat and makes a roll, so now she’s on the mat, with him in between her legs.

Steve can be lucky that most of the recruits are already doing their own thing because this is not a professional normal work position. Sam, who just walked in, stopped next to Bucky when he sees the scene. He looks at Bucky and sees how he’s directly looking at where Steve’s face is.

“Stop doing your creepy eye thing”, Sam tells him, but Bucky simply ignores him. Sam is about to say something when he hears a loud slam, and sees her on top of Steve, straddling his hips “oh”.

This scene doesn’t last long though because Steve flips them around, now straddling her hips and pinning her arms above her head. She tries to move around under him, successfully. Her back towards and is about to use her knees to make him fall off. Steve thinks quicker though and flips them again. Her back against his chest and his back against the floor. He wraps his legs around each of her legs, making her unable to move them, while he wraps his arms around her neck, taking her in a headlock. She tries to wiggle away, but can’t.

She taps his arm, signaling him that he won. Steve lets her go, softly lifting her arm to help her up, and then getting up after her.

“Everything ok?” he asks, wanting to make sure that he didn’t hurt her in some kind. That would definitely make admitting his feelings harder.

“Yes”, she smiles at him, panting slightly, “thank you, Captain Rogers, for training with me”. The smile she gives him is a true, generous smile. Steve doesn’t see how Sam and Bucky are exchanging scared looks.

“Y-You don’t need to tank me”, Steve says. Now it’s the time to introduce himself; he can do it. He takes a deep breath before continuing. “And you can call me S-“

He gets pulled away by Bucky, forcefully getting pushed against his chest. Steve looks Bucky confused into his eyes as Bucky pulls him with him behind the corner, out of sight of her, with Sam walking next to them. All the way to behind the corner Bucky keeps Steve against him, while Sam blogs other from seeing Steve’s side.

“What are you doing? I was just about to introduce myself”

Sam looks at him with wide eyes. “Yeah, something else was also about to introduce himself” and points to Steve’s crotch.

Steve looks down and sees what Sam is talking about.

For the first time, the golden boy is having a boner. A huge one. The serum really did make everything bigger.

“Oh, no no no no” Steve goes.

“Hey, it’s ok” Bucky tries calming him down “it’s uhm normal”

“Yeah, you know how many boners I had in my life”, Sam continues.

“See, even Sam thinks so. Did you ever notice how often I had when we were out with some girls, or just when I was thinking about one”, Bucky continues, Sam nodding his head the whole time. Both giving Steve a smirk. “You have them everywhere. In the shower, during work, in bed, I even had them when we had a sleepover”.

“Oh my god” Steve hates talking about that. He doesn’t know what’s worst, talking about women things or about men and their boners. “I had it in front of her, in front of everyone” he cries out.

Sam pats his shoulder. “No one saw it”

“You did!”.

“Because we watched both of you”, Sam assures him. “The others did their own thing, and she looked in your eyes, man. Not what’s below Captain America’s waist”

“Maybe she felt it though”, Bucky says.

“Bucky!”

“Your not helping, man”, Sam shrugs and looks down “ok, maybe she did because you know, it’s not small”

“See, Wilson! You agree”

Steve had never been this embarrassed in his entire life. He covers his erection with his hands, but it only makes it more obvious. He’s trying to cover his boner while his two best friends are talking about his penis size and how often they get a boner. He wants to dig himself a grave.

“Guys!” Steve whisper screams, getting their attention back. “I need to get rid of it”.

“Of your giant boner?”

“Yeas, Sam. What else is there to get rid of?” Steve says. Bucky slaps Sam on the back of his head, with no context at all. “What was that for, Bucky?”

He shrugs “I know you would like to do that, but are too nice to actually do it”. Steve just wanted to have a nice day where he maybe finally managed to speak to the woman of his dreams, but no, everything had to go like shit. “What do I do?”.

Sam and Bucky look at each other before letting out an obvious loud breath of air. They turn to Steve. “Well, you could try to calm down” Sam says, and Bucky continues “or you could, you know, help yourself out”.

“No!” Steve doesn’t even want to imagine helping himself out. The simple thought disgusts him and he feels an incredible feeling of shame.

Steve shakes his head at them. “Tell me something, that helps uhm, the problem”.

“Remember when your mom caught us looking through her drawers and spanked you”.

“….”

“….”

“….”

“Are you getting harder?” Sam asks, looking at his now slightly bigger boner.

“N-no” Steve pushes with all might on his boner to get it down “s-say something else”. He begs his friends for help.

Bucky looks hopeless “I don’t know what to say to get her off of your mind”. Steve wants to say something when Sam holds up his hands.

“Hold up, her off of your mind” he says looking at Steve, “so it wasn’t just because you got a bit close to her”. The smirk on his face is huge, a teasing one.

Steve groans out of frustration and pain.

“You know, I could see you together”, Sam goes, giving him a thump up.

“I know, but he’s too afraid to ask her. He couldn’t even introduce himself”.

“You didn’t introduce yourself to y/n?”

Steve looks at him and repeats her name softly. Y/n. Your name sound like an angel, a page out of the Bible that you worship and say as a pray. He would do that. Say your name like it’s a holy prayer. He wants to say your name again again and again. Whispering your name in your ear as you slowly share a kiss.

“Shit” Bucky says. He thought that Steve’s boner couldn’t get any bigger, but he was wrong. So wrong. It’s now almost twice as big as before. “Sam, why did you say that?!”

“I didn’t know this was going to happen! I just said her name. I didn’t think he would get hard because of a name”.

“Well, he did!”

They hear people coming into the training room. A lot by the sound of their talking. At least fifteen entered the room. Now you add them three, plus y/n and plus the seven recruits that were already in here. That makes twenty-six people. Two, Sam and Bucky, already saw Steve’s boner.

“Guys!” Steve screams “what do I do?!”, hiding more in the corner.

“Obviously getting her out of your head doesn’t work”.

“How about you stay in front of me while I walk out”.

Both shake their head “they would see you though and stare at you. Also, there are too many. You wouldn’t make it out unnoticed”.

“What if I wait until they leave”.

“Steve, they will eventually walk to this corner when they get more weights, and then see you”

Steve looks hopeless. “Bring me some pants that- I don’t know, doesn’t show my you know”.

“Steve…nothing can hide that boner”, Sam says “there is only one option”.

“What?”

“you could…help yourself out, Steve”

“No”

“Steve, please”

“No”

“Pal, listen-“

“No, Bucky. I can’t do that. I can’t just touch my…member…and..bring myself pleasure”, Steve hates talking about it. “How am I even suppose to do it?!”

“You take your dick in your hand and hold it tight, then you start to move your hand up and down. Personally, I would advise you to do it fast but-“

“I meant where!” he covers his ears trying to forget what Bucky just said. Though he learned something new. “I can’t just do it here, it would..spill”

Sam looks around until he sees something that could help “take this to collect your sperms”. He shows Steve an empty probably by someone forgotten water bottle.

“But-“ Steve knows that this is the only way and that he should accept it, but he doesn’t want to “fine”.

“I wait around the corner so no one walks over here, while Bucky makes sure you don’t get a heart attack” Sam says, winking before walking around the corner. Bucky gives Steve a slight smile before turning around. He doesn’t need to see his best friend Masturbate.

Surprisingly, Steve isn’t that loud. Sam only heard him once or twice a bit louder. One time he was screaming Bucky’s name because he turned around for a second.

Sam walks over to them when Bucky gives him a thump up. Steve is sitting on the floor, panting heavenly. Next to him, a completely full to the top water bottle. Or more like cum bottle.

“Congratulations on your first orgasm, Steve”

They are on their way out now, happy that Steve doesn’t have a big gun in his pants anymore.

“Hey, Sam”

Fuck

“Hey, Y/n” Sam smiles, while Steve panics. He’s drenched in sweat and is holding a bottle of his own cum.

You smile at Bucky and Steve too. You look at Steve and see how he looks like he’s in pain and completely drenched. “Are you ok, Captain Rogers?”.

Bucky and Sam quickly cover him up. “Oh yeah, he’s fine, he just-“

“Is hungry!”

“Uhm yeah and you know how you can get sick when you didn’t eat”

“Yeah ya get really sick”

You stare at them for a second, trying to process what they said. “Oh, maybe you should drink your shake then, Captain Rogers”, and point to his ‘shake’, and give him a smile.

“I-“

Bucky stops Steve. “Yeah no, he will just get something from the kitchen, you know?”.

“Bucky’s right, uhm I don’t think that would be such a smart idea to drink the shake. Hah ha” Steve says awkwardly.

Your smile falls. “Oh, yeah sure. I just thought that would help. We don’t want you passing out”.

Was his answer mean, is what Steve thinks. He doesn’t want you to think he just didn’t drink the ‘shake’ because you said that. Steves heart pains as he sees your reaction; you looked so sad. It obviously isn’t that big of a deal. Surely you forget about it later, but what if you don’t? You don’t forget that he didn’t want to drink the ‘shake’. What if you think you’re dumb for asking that? He thinks for a second, a long second, a second that will change everything.

“You’re right”, and opens the cap.

#chris evans #steve x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers #steve rogers imagines #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers smut #steve rogers angst #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers x reader fluff #steve rogers x y/n #captain america x y/n #captain america x reader #captain america x you #captain america #steven grant rogers

[russellsppttemplates]

Promise (Lewis Hamilton)

The season has kept Lewis so busy he hasn't been paying attention to you in the way you needed

Note: english is not my first language. After a long time on hold (since april), I'm finally posting this one. The timeline is a bit bent to fit what I already had written for what was requested, so I hope you don't mind it too much! Hopefully the person who requested this is still around and reading this ✨️

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions loss of friendships, curse words

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be able to make it. Lew already asked me to go see him race that weekend, I have booked the flights and managed to clear my work schedule too", you said to your friend after she practically ambushed you into have a coffee with her after work, "c'mon, I don't even feel like we've seen eachother recently. You're either at work or with Lewis. It's like you don't have time for me, or rather don't make it", she groaned and you frowned. You met up with her not even 10 days ago, and while you couldn't see her everyday, you managed to text her back with reasonable timing everytime she had any issues or needed some comfort, so hearing those words and accusations for what you recalled the third time over the last few weeks threw you off. Was it really something you deserved? You wondered, maybe you really weren't being the best of friends given everything happening in your life.

"It's been hard, my schedule has been all over the place. I've been quite tired and I honestly just want to relax at home when I get back from work, we've had a lot of clients, which has been good for the business, but there's also been a lot more effort in making everything work smoothly", you tried to offer her your point of view, knowing yourself that there were days you could barely answer your boyfriend back simple questions, both of happy and content to either just cuddle when he was home or have a quick videocall whenever he was away, letting you get your deserved rest.

.

"Do you have everything, darling?", Lewis said over the phone as you fastened the zip on your suitcase, "yes. Angela said that she could come and meet me with my passes. Apparently there was an issue with printing them, my name or something, I'm not sure, but she said they were good now", you recalled, looking back at your boyfriend on the screen while he smiled, "I can't wait to have you here with me", he admitted, making your heart soft, "it's been really difficult, the car and all, and I know having you here will be good".

The next day, like you had arranged, you met up with Angela at the entrance of the GP, greeting her with a smile before she noticed it, "was your flight that bad?", she wondered, "you look a bit off, dear", she explained herself better, "it was okay, just had trouble sleeping because of this crazy schedule", you tried your best to brush it off. You had looked at yourself in the mirror, and had noticed the eye bags, the veins around your eyes much stronger and, truly, you knew no one would believe you were okay, but you guessed trying wouldn't be hard, and despite feeling like Angela caught on, she decided to drop the subject, handing you your pass and grabbing your suitcase once you reached the hospitality so she could store it in a safe place.

"Hey, Y/N", George smiled, greeting you as you both walked down to the garage, "Lewis mentioned you'd be joining us today", he said, opening the door for you before following you by your side, "the flight was delayed a little, and there was traffic here, or at least my driver said it isn't usually that busy, so I got here to the sound of the engines already", you pouted, grabbing a headset for yourself from the wall.

"I'll be in there with Toto and Mick, we'll speak later, okay? Carmen is also travelling tomorrow night", George said as he walked up to sit with the rest of the team, sitting this session out as they had chosen to have Frederik drive this session on his place.

The free practice sessions did not go all that well, especially considering how you knew Lewis and the whole team would have wanted them to go, so when Lewis came out of the last session, the team allowed them a few hours so they could rest up a little and get re-energised before debriefing.

"Hey, gorgeous", Lewis said as he walked up to you, "I'm so happy you're here", he mumbled against the thin skin on your neck, taking in your scent and presence as your arms wrapped around his torso.

"Do you want to talk about it?", you asked, running your fingers on his back as the slight scratch from your nails soothed him as you walked to sit on the sofa, "I can't bring the car to the front, it's like I can't do it. We've worked so hard on it, the team has come up with so many improvements and yet it still isn't reaching the front, there's no comparison", he let it put, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, "and I can't do it either, it's my fault too, I just want to make us a competitive team again, having fights every weekend for the P1, and yet, here we are".

Kissing his knuckles, you looked up at him through your lashes, "it will all add up, my love", you caressed his skin, "there's no way your efforts won't be rewarded, you just have to keep going, keep fighting, keep rising", you smiled, seeing the corner of his lips move upwards, "one day at a time, all will be well, you just have to keep going, we just have to keep going with those we love most", you muttered, joining your foreheads so they could touch.

.

Silverstone always had a big buzz around it, so you always took the week off, "remember last year? Your friends also joined us for the party", Lewis recalled as you sat in the hospitality. Media duties had long been taken care of and Lewis wanted to hang out in the meal area in case anyone needed him before you retired to his room.

"Yeah, it was a good time", you mumbled, reliving the memories in your head. You had had dinner and partied until early hours of the night with some of your friends, who were that at the time.

The previous week, your friend had been very assertive when she called you to show her displeasure of your lack of effort to meet up with her, telling you how much you had changed and how it wasn't fair that you could only meet up once or twice a month, "it's not fair to us or to our friendship, so unless this changes, I don't see how we can carry on". The accusations were not false, you recognised that you couldn't be as present as much as before, but the premise she was holding it on seemed wrong to you. And as much as it bothered you and pained you, calling it quits was the best decision in the long run. You had enough things on your plate, and having to reassure her that you were still there for her despite all the mean comments and accusations she would throw at you, wether they were about how much time you spent working or how Lewis wasn't the right person for you, was not something you wanted to endure for your own well-being.

"How is she, by the way?", Lewis questioned as he drank his water.

"We are not friends anymore, things just didn't work out", you offered quietly, not wanting to dwell much on the topic or have your boyfriend worry about one more thing.

"Y/N!", Lewis heard Carmen call, seeing his teammate's girlfriend approach you, warmly greeting him as well before he left you two alone for some catching up, "call me if you need anything", your boyfriend said, kissing the top of your head sweetly before leaving you two to speak and moving to the table where Angela was sitting.

"Is she feeling better?", Angela asked him, nodding over to you with her eyes and smiling as you spoke to the spanish women, the genuine easiness radiating from you.

"Y/N? She's been well, I think...", he said, unsure of his own answer. You hadn't talked much about how you were feeling, and he definitely wanted to follow up on what you had just been talking about when you were comfortable, but other than that, he had no clue. Work had been busier as you received more clients and you needed a little more time to rest that usual, and you had been tagging out of plans family and friends tried to make with you. Maybe Angela was right and there was something going on.

"You should talk to her, see how everything is, Lewis. I know she has a habit of bottling everything, and while I figured she'd talk to you and bring it up, and that it would help, I'm not sure it's enough", she patted his back as she allowed him to process the situation.

Later that night, back in your hotel bedroom, you had just come out of the shower, grabbing your toiletries' bag so you could moisturise your skin, propping your leg on the bed so you could rub the product into the skin as you heard Lewis walk around the room.

As you moved to adjust your towell while you put on your underwear, you felt Lewis' hands on your shoulders before his lips pressed kisses to your clean skin, his touch so soft and tender that it melted you inside.

"Can we talk about something, darling?", he asked, moving to sit in front of you, taking his place on the bed as Roscoe joined him.

"Sure, love. Are you okay? Is something wrong?", you promptly offered, ready to be all ears to his worries as Roscoe found his perfect spot on the comforter.

"It's about you, actually", he said as you pulled your top on, leaving the towell on the bathroom before coming back to sit on the bed, "what about me?", you asked, unsure of the topic was.

"How have you been? And I don't want to hear 'I'm okay' or 'just tired from work', because that's most definitely not the truth", Lewis began, holding your hand in his, "I've been so blind to all of this, and I only noticed now just how much you're being affected, and I want to know what it is and how I can help you", he gulped, "I've been so caught up in my own things and I've missed this, I'm so sorry, Y/N", he looked into your eyes.

You knew you had been unable to hide it. And now, you couldn't escape it.

Taking a deep breath, you traced the tattoos on his hand, the seamless way the ink flowed mesmerising as you allowed yourself to become vulnerable to him, opening up about your friendships and how everything at work was both the thing that has been keeping you sane and afloat, but also buried in doubt.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry I didn't notice this", Lewis apoligised, "I've been so absorbed in getting the results we need for the team, and-", you interrupted him, knowing the wasn't the one to blame.

"Lew, I didn't want to burden you with this, it's my own doing, too", you admitted, wanting to stop the whole blame spiral going on between both of you.

"Still, I should've noticed", he tsked at himself, holding you in his arms as you cuddled into his chest, "you shouldn't have to go through that alone, no one should. I want you to tell me anything that bothers you. My career is not above us, it will never be", he said as he looked into your eyes, "and, for all that matters, the decision to end the friendship was for the better. And I know you know this, and it still hurts, and that's okay. Roscoe, buddy", he called, "come give mummy a big, big cuddle", he smiled as the dog attended to his request.

"I'm sorry, too", you said as you petted Roscoe, his snores showing you he was enjoying them, "just wanted to be a happy and cheerful partner, and support you", you reiterated.

"From now on, promise you'll tell me anything that bothers you?", he assured as you smiled, kissing his lips as a seal of your promise, "I promise".

"I love you, Y/N, and it's me, you and Roscoe against the world", Lewis said.

"Agains the world and the rest of the paddock?", you joked, "just about, yes".

#lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton fluff #lewis hamilton fanfic #f1 x reader #lewis hamilton x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine

[heavenlyraindrops]

smut writing tips (TW: sexual stuff cause like. Cmon. It’s smut)

I did one for character so now I’m doing one for smut what’s wrong with smut huh so what if I’m writing tips on how to make smut so what SO WHAT HUH

Smut scenes aren’t that different from normal scenes. Probably because they’re normal scenes. Remember that.

Therefore, they should have dialogueeee because boy oh boy the amount of smut I have read where they are just dead silent is insane I could rebuild the wall of china with allat

so… dirty talk

BUT DONT MAKE IT TOO LONG! OR TOO WEIRD…

“Do you think they’d watch?” he asks. “Do you think they’d enjoy the sight of your naked flesh on display? Maybe they would get off on seeing your dripping pussy reflected back at them everywhere they look. Or the pretty flush on your chest when you come. I think they’d even enjoy watching your eyes roll to the back of your head when my cock fills you so fully, you can’t fit any more of me inside you.”

That’s from haunting Adeline… and… just.. no. NONONONO ITS DISGUSTING ITS GROSS…. WHO TF SAYS THAT BRO. Why is tHIS BOOK SO POPuLAR

more gross examples: “You want to know what I’d do?” he questions. “I would let them watch. I would let them watch me claim you as mine and own every inch of your body. They would watch my cock fill every one of your holes and then watch you cry because of how hard you came. And then I’d fucking kill them. My cock would still be wet from your cum as I’d slice their throats for even daring to look at what’s mine.”

dont write like that guys… like ew. Just ew

also.. epithets.. ok idk what they’re called because English = not my first language but

like

”his member” “sword” “love button” “seed” “her peaks/ nubs”

look my dude if you can read a smut scene like “he inserted his sword inside her cavern and spewed his seed inside her while fondling her mounds” then sure pop off I guess but tbh

no.

JUST USE COCK DICK AND PUSSY OR SOMETHING IDK WHY U GOTTA DO THIS TO ME I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO SEE CERTAIN THINGS THE SAME WAY EVER AGAIN

“his member” I’m sorry is his dick joining a club?

anywaysysystst

research human body stuff. Like, dicks need to recharge before they get hard again yk

“Recharge” idk bro yk what I mean

cumming more than once for women do be kinda painful unless there’s an amount of time in between the orgasms

like depends on the woman, can range from a couple of hours to at least a whole day

although this doesn’t apply to everyone and some people do just go for it a bunch of times in one session so it’s a very variable thing

so yeah! Make sure to educate urself on biology

spemd more time talking about how they feel physically and emotionally than what they are doing so that the scene actually does have some depth

consistency! I have read shit that goes along the lines of “he grabbed her waist then with his other hand stroked her cheek and then she wrapped her legs around his feet and he pressed his elbow againts her knee flipping her upside down while she nibbled on his ear” how am I supposed to imagine any of that

they keep sprouting a third arm

or do things that completely contradict the position that they are in.. he can’t slap ur ass if ur in the cowgirl position..well, not very comfortably

so. Consistency! :)

that’s all for now ermmmm so yah tell me if this was helpful guys

#writing advice #writing #creative writing #smut writing #smut writing tips #Writing smut #smut advice #writing tips #how to write #writing scenarios #writing smut #Writing sex #HEAVENLYRAIN’S WRITING TIPS

[beansterpie]

ES21 japanese volumes - part 1/??

part 2 >>

Sooooo I recently got my hands on the complete Eyeshield 21 manga series in Japanese and as someone who's only ever read the story through fan-translations on dodgy websites online, I wanted to go through and "live" blog about it, so to speak. I thought it would be interesting to see the changes between the languages and where the fan-translations likely fail with mistranslations. (No shade btw, I think fan-translations are great both as a hobby and the fact that they're doing their work for free, but it's also a reality that the vast majority of fan-translators are amateurs, many of whom don't fluently speak the language they're translating, so there's bound to be mistakes!) Also, I wanna know what they're originally saying because I’m nosey <3

I know the official English translation by VIS is allegedly pretty decent, bar the toning down of some things (like Hiruma's language lol) so if you've had the chance to read the official version, feel free to chime in on differences with the fan-translation that I'll be referencing, or potential differences between the Japanese version too!

And finally, while I am half Japanese and grew up there, tragically my language skills are imperfect. I speak it, but my vocabulary isn't very robust, so I do look up the definitions for a lot of words and kanji, as well as more nuanced connotations or references that may go over my head. Bilingual problems <3 But again, it's good practice for me and I think it'll be kind of fun!

Right off the bat, this page. What it’s saying is essentially, “You better come out and play (in the) American Football match!” But because Japanese syntax is different from English, it’s structured like “American Football Match you better play!!” The translator was confused by the final line, because in Japanese a way to say ‘participating in a match’ is by using 出る which means to ‘go out’— sort of like ‘go out (into) the match’. Maybe a better option would have been ‘get the fuck out and play!!” or just “you better fucking play!!”. It still keeps the overall sentence structure which sounds awkward in English, but at least it gets the meaning across.

(I’m not gonna get into every little mistranslation btw, because that would take forever, but I felt that was a good way to explain how frequently there are little mistakes like this.)

Putting the rest under a cut because I imagine this will get long

Look at our boy <3 So as you know, we start our story with Sena Kobayakawa timidly seeing if he passed his high school entrance exam into Deimon High School, with his childhood friend/older sister figure, Mamori Anezaki lending moral support.

In the third panel, what Sena says is actually “I feel like I’ve been praised for the first time in 10 years—” (maybe they changed it because that was too pathetic 😭) Then in the fourth panel, what Mamori says is more along the lines of “And to think you were a total mess in math and English… It’s all thanks to Mamori-sensei!”

Also I want to point out that Mamori is a little cheekier in the first few chapters. Like obviously still kind and nurturing in personality (her name is literally ‘to protect’), but she teases Sena and feels more like an older sister than like, an overprotective mom lol. Miss that for her 😔

Then along comes our kind senpai to accost our clueless protag...

There’s no mistranslation, but I just wanted to mention that the way Hiruma talks in Japanese is so funny? Like in panel 1, he’s speaking with a dramatic affect, he sounds like some sort of npc in a jrpg giving the protag a quest. And then in panel 2, his ‘of course!’ is this shortened, slang version of the word that sounds almost cute and very modern after the previous line. Hiruma uses a lot of slang in general, though I can’t say if any of it is like, common or used by teenagers (of the time, anyway) or if it’s just Hiruma-isms.

(Look at Kurita doing the sign of the cross in panel 3 😂)

I can’t believe Hiruma managed to physically emulate the experience of contracting some shady internet virus…..

Something that’s done with Hiruma’s dialogue a lot (it’s done w/ other characters too, but most often with Hiruma) is where there’ll be a word/term in kanji that means one thing and pronounced in a certain way, but then the furigana (so the phonetic pronounciation, basically) next to it says something different. Now, in some stories (like Berserk for my pals out there), this is used to create poignant, layered meanings in the text. In ES21 however, it’s mostly used for sports manga flavor. For example, in the above page in Hiruma’s spam fax message, he uses the word 作戦, which means tactics or strategy, and is pronounced: “sa - ku - se - nn” さ-く-せ-ん. But the furigana next to that word reads タクティクス which is quite literally just the English word ‘tactics’ spelled phonetically in Japanese lol (aka a loanword).

He does this A LOT, most frequently with sports terminology, where the kanji are pretty dense, technical terms, and the furigana a loanword version of the same meaning. (though now that I think about it, it might also be because while パワー (power) and スピード (speed) are frequently used and well known loanwords to the average Japanese person, タクティクス (tactics) might be more obscure, so the kanji is there to like, clarify the meaning? 🤔)

Also I love all the early 2000’s tech we see in the early chapters— flip phones and fax machines galore! Even within the later segments of the series, the flip phones start to magically get more advanced, but in my heart ES21 takes place in like, 2003. If they ever do a remake of the anime (which is unlikely to say the least) I’d want them to maintain the early 00’s vibes. It just wouldn’t be the same if everyone had smart phones.

Skipping ahead a few pages, I remember this bit never really made sense, but I got enough of the general gist that I kind of shrugged and moved along. But!! the translation is just making stuff up here?

So for context: it’s Sena’s first day at Deimon, and Mamori (who’s a grade above him) advises him to make proper friends this year, since he has a history of only ‘hanging out’ with shitty bullies who used him as an errand boy.

In the English translation, Sena seems to get a text from a mystery number, telling him to pay up for a bet we never saw happening. He goes to meet up with the texter, who we assume at this point is a previous aquaintence, since he had Sena's number? Maybe one of those bullies that Sena hung out with from middle school? They make Sena go and get them an unspecified thing, but because Sena ran there and back so quickly, they don't believe that Sena actually went, and is lying when he says they were sold out. They drag Sena to a small shed to beat him up, and in the last panel of the third page, Sena says that he's been their errand boy since kindergarden?

So for a number of years I was under the impression that the Ha-ha brothers knew Sena from before the series, even though that never seemed to come up in the rest of the story.

But in the original version, Sena is actually getting a text from Mamori-- which makes sense because it was established earlier that his cell phone is brand new and he only has Mamori's number in his contacts. Mamori's text says: "If someone tries to make you run their errands, tell them 'let's decide by rock-paper-scissors!'" Sena is understandably kind of embarrassed by this, and mutters to himself that he's not a kid anymore.

Then it cuts to Sena being picked on to be an errand boy lmao. Presumably this is because Sena just looks like an easy target to bullies, not because of any previous aquaintence rip. The blond bully tells Sena to go buy them bread (which might sound weird, but Japan has a lot of tasty snack breads that they sell everywhere). In panels 2+3 of the second page, Sena timidly tries to bring up the rock-paper-scissors thing, but is intimidated into giving up and just doing what he's told.

Again, they don't believe that Sena actually went all the way to the school store and back with how quick he was, so they decide to beat him up in the shed. As he's being dragged, Sena says, "It really was sold out! I've gotten used to being an errand boy since kindergarden, so I've just gotten fast--!"

So yeah, if there were any other people who've only read fan-translations and were confused by this bit, there you go.

oh you just know it smelled like ass in here.....

(I never noticed the shotgun propped against the desk on the right before lol, idk why I'm surprised, but Hiruma really just left his Actual Guns lying around huh?)

(2nd pic - Kurita: "New club applicants!!?")

There he is!! Our boy Kurita!! I do miss when he occassionally had like, more human features lol. As much as I love his big ol' smiley face, it does rub me the wrong way when the fat characters (because Komusubi falls into this too) are the only ones with anpanman faces.

(anpanman, for the uninitiated)

(Kurita: "To literally clash with the opponent in order to pursue a goal together with everyone-- that moment is exhilerating!")

Aw look at Sena feeling inspired! Honestly I really love how Kurita is Sena's first friend he makes in the series, and that vibe in the early chapters where it's just Sena, Kurita and Hiruma is so much fun <3

(P1: Kurita: "Way to go Sena!" Imaginary Coach: "It's thanks to you that we could participate in the Christmas Bowl!" Mamori: "You're so cool Sena!"

P2: Mamori: "You have to make the first move!" Sena: "U-um!"

P3: Sena: "Can I... be the team shumu*?" Kurita: "WHAAATT!? O-OF-OF COURSE!")

*Ok soooo I don't fully understand what a shumu is lol, or how you'd translate it to English. The word itself apparently means 'person in charge' so? The fan-translation just calls it the manager, but based on something Hiruma says later, I get the impression that the shumu and the manager are technically different roles? But when Mamori becomes the manager later, she takes on a lot of what are allegedly 'shumu tasks', along with Hiruma, so idk. If anyone's read the official VIS translation, feel free to chime in on how they did it, because I'd be curious to know!

That being said, adorable of Sena to think he could have handled that responsiblity at all 😂 our boy has many talents, but being smart and organized is not among them.

Ok fun feelings are over, it's time for pain.

(Sena looking at his contact list, having just added Kurita's number, then wham D: )

The three bullies from before were waiting to get revenge. The dialogue is a bit different in the original. Juumonji (the blond one) actually says: "That fatso a friend of yours, Sena? Tell me his contact info-- if you do that, we'll let you go." To which Sena timidly and reluctantly agrees. Then Kuroki (the dark haired one) says: "But do you think one bat will be enough? With that brute strength..." In the final panel, Juumonji says: "It's better with just one, since we're gonna call the police beforehand." Togano (with the glasses): "The police?"

Juumonji: "As long as we get him wrapped up in the fight, it'll be fine. We'll say we got these wounds from being assaulted by the fatso with the bat -- We'll get him disqualified from the American Football tournament." One of the others: "Ooohh, smart!"

I guess the overall sentiment isn't that different, but knowing that the initial demand was for Sena to hand over Kurita's contact info with the promise that they would spare him if he obeyed-- and that at first he agreed-- makes his change of heart feel even more significant.

(Sena: "IF YOU'RE GONNA HIT ME, THEN HIT ME!!! I'LL NEVER TELL YOU (Kurita's info)!!!")

Tell 'em Sena!! A part of me sort of wishes the story maintained this serious story beat instead of undercutting it with humor in the next panel (not shown here) but at the same time, ES21 is overall a more lighthearted, comedic story which I love it for, so I don't think I'd like it getting too angsty. I'll always have Berserk in my corner if I want some actual angst lol.

(1st pic: various sounds of surprise or pain, and in the last panel: "Oi, don't let him get away!"

2nd pic: Sena -- "No way!!!" Hiruma: "Hm? Oh it's that guy" )

Lol I do love the little details Murata included, like Kuroki taking a swing at Sena as he's biting Juumonji's hand but then totally missing in the fourth panel because Sena's so fast. Also I'm always on the lookout for the kinds of stuff Hiruma buys, snack wise. We know he loves sugarless gum, obv, and drinks coke based on that one time he bought some for himself, Kurita & Sena, but what else are in those bags? I want to know!!

--------

And lol apparently I'm only allowed 30 images per post rip, so I guess I'll end this here. I guess I can.... reblog and continue? Or I might just make another post for the next part 🤔 Besides this got way too long, so I'll have to be more brief in future posts lol.

I'm honestly not expecting more than like, five people to interact with this lol, but if anyone is interested in specific points of the story they want me to look at, please feel free to ask!

#eyeshield 21 #es21 #yeah this is not meta it's just.... stream of consciousness #as i ramble about eyeshield lmfao #and japanese practice that I'm inflicting on others #eyeshield 21 japanese readalong #is what i'm gonna tag it for my own sake #i guess #excuse any typos. *gun emoji* you didn't see any

[archivalofsins]

Me at Kotoko's third interrogation question-

"Reading comprehension is piss poor."

Q.02 Can you speak any languages other than Japanese?

Kotoko: English. If just a simple conversation level counts, then also Chinese and Korean.

Boy howdy I wonder what she could be using simple conversation level Chinese and Korean for? It defintely can't be for what it says on the fucking tin.

Let's ask,

Q.03 What is the reason you learned Chinese and Korean?

Kotoko: Chinese was simply because a lot of people spoke it. Korean was because I had learned taekwondo prior to that.

Oh at least we know Kazui was right and she does know taekwondo I guess.

20/07/09

Kotoko: Kazui, you do martial arts right. ……what type? Judo? Kazui: Ah, my main is…… judo, and kendo. I also know a little bit of karate. You must have some martial arts experience too, right, Yuzuriha-chan? I can tell by looking. Hmm… probably a combat type…… I’m guessing not karate…… is it taekwondo? Kotoko: ……I’m not telling you. Stop ogling me like that. It’s gross. Kazui: I-isn’t that a bit unfair?

But Gunsli shouldn't you be happy you're the one who brought up the whole Chinese and Korean being languages people training to be cops in Japan learn. Along with Taekwondo being a form of martial arts that could fall under other martial arts that one could learn to become an officer and Kotoko said she learned Taekwondo prior to beginning to study Korean. Which would align with-

Look I just want to know something new not get confirmation for things I could have and did just see with my own eyes. Far before this.

Then to make the situation worse English a language she admits to having a better grasp of than both Chinese and Korean just goes unquestioned. Like oh well knowing English is normal of course she would want to learn English. That's only reasonable. No, it's not. Even though English is taught in some schools within Japan it's about the same as most schools in the US teaching Spanish or schools in the UK teaching French.

Just because it's taught doesn't suddenly mean the populace has a fluent grasp of that language. So, I find it difficult to not be like why were Chinese and Korean singled out? When she knows a whole other ass language that is just as unnecessary in the area in which she resides?

ClassTracks- How Many People Speak English in Japan?

World Population Review 2024

I really want that at any level part of the second image to sink in. Which means out of those estimated to speak English in Japan not all of them would be considered fluent in it or even at the same level Kotoko reports herself being at with Korean and Chinese.

So, why was English excluded from this question? Despite it being the language, she states she knows without any hesitance and better than the other two she's asked about here. Why the fuck were Chinese and Korean singled out exactly? Why did she learn English. Who knows that wasn't in the question so who cares honestly.

Not even going into this Nippon article that explains the English proficiency in Japan is on the decline. From December of 2023.

So, pushing to the side that her answer when she was asked what languages she knew already implied she learned Chinese and Korean to speak to others. Why the fuck does she know English- Why not ask for clarity on all three languages she has stated knowing instead of singling out the other two. This question is so fucking weird. On top of not really telling us anything that we didn't already know or wasn't already heavily implied.

While somehow being incredibly iffy on top of that. Because asking about her learning these other two languages but not English implies that learning English is implicitly normal and should not be questioned. When it isn't and it never has been, especially when it is not the native language of the country one lives in.

Learning a language is expensive, difficult, and time consuming. Especially when it's not one that is actively used within one's environment. Her knowing English should not have gone unquestioned because it's a privilege to learn a language outside of one's native one. It's a privilege to have access to resources that allow you to do that. Especially taking into account literacy in general isn't that good globally.

Like I don't know what's not understood about this but being able to read in itself is a privilege. Being able to read a privilege what no everybody can- Here's the US statistics on that.

On average, 79% of U.S. adults nationwide are literate in 2024. 21% of adults in the US are illiterate in 2024. 54% of adults have a literacy below a 6th-grade level (20% are below 5th-grade level). Low levels of literacy costs the US up to 2.2 trillion per year. 34% of adults lacking literacy proficiency were born outside the US. Massachusetts was the state with the highest rate of child literacy. New Mexico was the state with the lowest child literacy rate. New Hampshire was the state with the highest percentage of adults considered literate. The state with the lowest adult literacy rate was California.

The National Literacy Institute

Illiteracy is a problem everywhere.

NHK World Japan Why linguists are worrying about literacy in Japan (2019)

For a plethora of reasons at that. So, of course I find it odd for one of these languages to just go unquestioned like that. Even as someone who only speaks English, I find that incredibly weird. Plus, as we've shown it's not exactly common to know English fluently in Japan either. It's not really common for people without a certain level of privilege or connections like family to teach them to know more than one language. Especially for a language as difficult and finnicky as English but that went unquestioned.

Like what the hell is up with this question. I can't even find a silver lining to this. This question is just... Well, it's a question that was asked, I guess.

#milgram #kotoko yuzuriha

[beetboxx]

the leather jacket effect - billy hargrove x reader

part 2 ; masterlist here

WARNINGS; sexual tension, language, douchebag billy hargrove, drinking, let me know if i missed any!

you once heard about a myth about fairies when you were little. it made you stay up for days out of the fear that some mythological being would sneak in your room late at night and steal your body. they’re always depicted as being apple-cheeked, giggling and joyful little critters, adorned in flowers and shades of green. but they were also known to be hideous to natives- vengeful, mischievous, wanting nothing but to create chaos with bodies of grey-green skin and white bone and yellow fingernails that drag across your floorboards with a disgusting creaking sound. the myth that you remember the most- because you made the mistake of asking your grandmother if she’d ever seen a fairy- was, if you give a fairy your name, you give up power to them. then they could trick, lure and enchant you. 

what this meant, and why you knew it, was kind of a mystery. all you knew is that it seemed relevant to your current situation, after you gave the new star of hawkins, billy hargrove, your name. it seemed like after that morning when he interrupted your smoke break, he couldn’t get out of your way. it seemed like even the idea that you weren’t interested in swooning over him was driving him insane, making him feel the need to prove himself and everyone around him. 

after first period, you tried to shake the very strong scent of his gum mixed with tobacco off of your nose and the image of his smile out of your head. you had never actually sat through your entire life skills class, but with billy guarding your usual spot, you had to today. you didn’t know why you couldn’t just.. stand next to him. you weren’t scared of him, and you didn’t have anything to hate him for, you just.. couldn’t.  and it was bugging you. big time. 

but first period came and went, and then second period, and then third period, and then soon enough the fourth period bell rang and you made your way to your english class, stopping at your locker to grab your overly heavy textbook that you would barely use the entire year and your copy of animal farm, a book that all teachers were pushing their students to read with the sudden increase in hostility between the US and the USSR. to you, it was just a pain in the ass. but, you thought the book was kind of cool. the concept, at least, giving farm animals human characteristics in their plot to create a communistic society within their home. 

and you were excited to read it, too, as you sat down in mrs. campbell’s class. she was an older lady, not elderly but not a yuppie, of course. she was super passive to you- you weren’t sure if she even knew your name. you could excuse it because of her age, but she wasn’t nearly old enough to use that excuse. 

as you sat down, the usual chatter of the pre-tardy bell seemed to be a bit louder, a bit more excited than usual, from behind you, you heard whispering and giggling from several people that you passed off as the usual hawkins gossip and judgement.

“oh my god, did you see-”

“yes! yes, i know, right?”

“it was so crazy,-”

“jesus, jason is being such a drag-” 

“hey, are you going tomor-”

“oh, for sure. i hear that new hottie is going- billy hargrove.”

you don’t know why, but that collection of sounds put together in the form of a name made your senses tense up, like a bloodhound looking for a trail. like a reflex, your neck twisted to look at the group of gossipers, unfortunately coming face to face with “the popular kids.” you froze as they stopped talking, eyes widened without your knowledge. tina raised her eyebrows at you, tilting her head and waiting for you to talk, say something besides looking like a deer in headlights. 

“can we.. help you?” tina asked sarcastically when you didn’t answer, earning a snicker from the other girls. 

you swallowed, “uh- no no, i was.. looking at the.. poster, behind you,” you lied, pointing an unsteady hand behind the group to the poster of kindergarten-level grammar rules. 

tina let out a laugh, the others following suit until she spoke again. they knew you were looking at them, but it was entertaining to them to see someone else struggle. sadists, you thought.

“riiiighhhtt, yeah. totally,” tina continued, looking at her friends as they laughed, waiting for you to turn around to continue their gossip.

you sighed, planting your elbow on your desk and holding your forehead in your palm, already wanting this stupid class to be over.

“alright, class! tardy bell has rang, please get your books out,” mrs. campbell announced, her tired voice sounding already irritated with her students. you understood why, hawkins high students had a tendency to be incompetent and careless. you honestly felt kinda bad for her, having to teach a bunch of teenagers that wanted to go out and do keg stands about the dangers of the soviet union. 

you heard the shuffling of bags and papers, and then the thick sound of books planting on desks with small groans of dread.

“now, today we will be independently,” she emphasized, glancing at the group of basketball players in the front of the class, “reading chapters four through six. i want you all to focus on the stylistic choices today- i have a worksheet up front to fill out wh-”

the wooden door labeled with “mrs. campbell” and various stickers slowly pushed open just then, interrupting mrs. campbell’s instruction and throwing the class into a curious silence. the sound of boots thudding against tile seemingly bounced off the walls of your small classroom, and with each sound, dread filled the pit of your stomach. you needed this to not be what you think it is. if it is, maybe a transfer is something to think about. 

but, of course, it was exactly what you hoped it wasn’t.

“ah, mr. hargrove, how nice of you to join us on your second day of school,” mrs. campbell sighed, folding her hands together and turning to face the character entering the classroom.

“oh, mrs. campbell, so sorry about that. i uh- got lost and ended up in E hall. it won’t happen again. promise.”

billy hargrove. there he was, trying to charm his way out of trouble with the same smile he gave you, when all you wanted was to have nothing to do with him or what he represented. his stupid, cold puppy-dog eyes made contact with mrs. campbell’s, and her stern face dropped, just like that. you could’ve sworn you saw her knees buckle, too. gross. 

“that’s.. fine.” oh, come on mrs. campbell! you thought she had way more bite in her than to submit to billy’s manipulation. “this will be a warning, though. i expect you to be on time.” 

“of course,” billy nodded. he then held out his ring-clad hand for mrs. campbell to shake. what a douchebag. “i’m billy hargrove, miss.” she took his hand, giving him a weak handshake, her usual frown twisting into a polite grin. 

“i am mrs. campbell, your english teacher. please, take a seat- we were just getting started,” she explained, tired tone becoming welcoming and accepting as she extended her arm to gesture billy to an open seat as she dropped his hand. billy’s eyes examined the terrain, seeing what people he could bully for homework and what people would do it willingly and what people weren’t even worth asking. and eventually, as he scanned desk by desk, his blue eyes landed on you. he smirked. a quiet smirk, one barely noticeable and would’ve seemed like it was directed at the popular girls wearing bright colors behind you. but you knew, it was directed at you and the name you gave him. you could feel his gaze even after it left you, like a lazer that burned a hole in your head. it was sharp, like he was holding a knife to your acrobatic stomach, threatening you with a secret even you didn’t know about. as soon as his eyes landed on you, your eyes snapped another direction, letting out a heavy huff, hurrying to open your book and appear busy with the hopes he wouldn’t bother you. 

he opted to sit right in front of you, much to your distaste. maybe you could move seats tomorrow and mrs. campbell wouldn’t notice. you didn’t need to be around him and his basketball team buddies, sandwiched between them and the group of gossipmongers behind you. and especially not near him. you knew that his public acknowledgement of your existence meant that you became another person that hawkins high saw as prey to hunt and degrade at billy’s new command. and you really, didn’t want that to happen. you didn’t want to be popular, not by any means, but you couldn’t stand to be bullied as harshly as the band nerds or that one fantasy board game club. you felt like you needed to hide, shove yourself inside a locker so no one else could. was it too late in the year to get a complete schedule change? maybe change your name, too? 

the entire class you were on edge. everytime billy shifted or talked you felt your stomach drop and the need to clench your eyes shut, like you were expecting the fall on a rollercoaster that you definitely did not want to be on. you couldn’t comprehend why you cared so much. why you were so.. uneasy about him. it wasn’t just the consequences that could appear if you became one of billy’s inside jokes to his friends, but him as a whole. the way he walked, the way he talked to you that morning like your attraction to him was guaranteed, the way you could see his biceps flexing when he shed his leather jacket and placed it on the back of his chair. you hated that he was so.. hot. it was infuriating. he was dangerous. you could tell that the moment you saw him walking from his car. and for some goddamn reason, and as much as you would like to deny it and bury it deep, you were curious. 

but, nothing happened. that class ended after forty five extra long minutes, and for the first time in the school year, you had to finish your english work at home. you just couldn’t seem to focus for some odd reason. you knew that billy and his goons didn’t do any work, though. they just fooled around and made fun of people and talked about basketball, keith’s new hot babe, praising billy for his new found basketball skills, et cetera. and everytime billy whispered the first sound of your name in any word, your face shot up, ears sounding in carefully to their conversation, until you realized it was nothing and looked back down to your book.

the rest of the day, thankfully, went completely normal. lunch, your last three periods, and then you got to go home. it was a friday, and your parents always went to bed early, so you could do your homework and then watch tv until you decided to go to bed. maybe you could catch that new show miami vice cathy had been talking your ears off about.

well, that’s what you expected, but just as everything else in the day, it went exactly the opposite. cathy stopped you as you left the school, obviously determined to get her way. you could tell by the way she hurriedly walked to you, no bounce or giggle, just a “stern” face that still morphed into a grin.

“i am picking you up at 9, we are going to that party. got it?” she demanded, obviously set on her goal.

“but-“

“no buts! come onn, let’s have a little fun-! you’ve never been to laurie’s party’s, they are toootally bitchin.”

you sighed, your lips parting to protest more, but cathy had you figured out.

“you have little to no homework, it’s a friday, there is nothing to study for. AND,” she exclaimed, holding up a finger to emphasize her point, “there is going to be legit so many dudes there. like, fiinnneee ones.”

“i- i don’t have anything to wear,” you interjected, trying to come up with any excuse to get out of this. “it would be like.. hella embarrassing for you to show up with me, caths.”

“bullshit!” cathy laughed. “you are a total babe, trust me. just find something cute to wear, if you’re luckyy-“ she said, a little sing-songy. it made you chuckle. “it won’t be on you for long.”

“you’re trying to get me laid?” you laughed, beginning to walk to your school bus.

“yes! well, no, not just that- i just want you to take a chill pill and have fun, (y/n)!” cathy returned your laughter, her trying to be intimidating and demanding long gone. she was a good person. for sure a dumb blonde, but she wanted the best for you, and wasn’t ashamed of being friends with someone so unknown.

you stopped, sighing with a grin at her excitement and wholesome desperation.

“fine.”

cathy gasped happily, clapping her hands giddily.

“YAY!” she squealed. she then spent the rest of the walk to your bus giving you all the details, the vibe, who she was hoping to see there. and billy hargrove was never mentioned. a good sign.

she gave you a tight hug, whispering a thank you into your ear before playfully pushing you into the bus.

————

cathy arrived at your door promptly at 9, holding true to her promise, making sure to honk her horn at least three times, as if telling you ‘there is no backing out now!’

you didn’t really intend to back out, but you were nervous. you couldn’t tell why, but your stomach felt like it was twisting and jumping in anticipation. to be honest, you had only been to one highschool party before, your sophomore year, and it was the lamest thing you’ve ever seen. you went with your then boyfriend, who didn’t make eye contact with you and was way too scared to hold your hand. there was no drinking, barely any music, just a pizza and a couple cokes. everyone just played board games the entire time, and then you were home by 11.

but you were playing in the big leagues this time. popular kids, including cathy, stoners, jocks, preps, all of those people. and you, the one that atleast 95% of the party couldn’t recall your name. you ended up wearing something that cathy would approve of, but still shield you from any unwanted attention- which was most attention. a pink dress and a denim jacket, and your black converse. cathy gave you her thumbs up of approval, and then you two sped away to laurie’s house. cathy sped through atleast three stop signs.

it was almost fully dark when you got there, that october moon shining over hawkins, reaching out her arms to hug you in comfort as you walked up to laurie’s door. cathy was tugging at your arm so forcefully you wouldn’t have been surprised if it had been pulled from the socket at your shoulder.

and as she pulled you up the steps, it was like she could smell your anxiety. she turned to you, placed her hands on your shoulders in an encouraging manner. she saw how your eyebrows were furrowed, eyes constantly shifting to anything but her, your hands fidgeting with eachother until one raised up to place a fingernail between your teeth.

“hey,” cathy said, grinning at you. “this will be the most fun you will ever had. promise.”

you just nodded, giving her a smile that definitely didn’t affirm your confidence. she rubbed your shoulder for a second, and then turned to the door and slamming her finger on the doorknob.

the door opened after a couple long seconds, cueing you to remove the hand from your face and plant them at your sides, swallowing nothing but the dryness in your throat. when the door swung open, no other but tommy fucking hagan stood there, leaning in the door way with a red solo cup in one of his hands. immediately you could hear music and voices blaring. laughs and yelling made a rick james song you didn’t know the name of barely audible, even though it was obviously at full volume. it was like the house was bouncing back and forth, up and down, shaking as high school bodies wondered around, danced, and participated in other drunk activities. his glare landed on cathy, giving her a small simper and a nod of his head in replace of a wave.

“hey caths. glad you could make it, henry’s out back,” he explained, way too calmly for your liking. you knew tommy from.. well, him being tommy. you knew him and steve harrington used to be friends, and you knew that tommy hagan was a capital D, Douchebag. everyone knew that he was apart of the posse that vandalized the theatre, and everyone knew that tommy was overall an asshole. you held your breath when his eyes shifted to you, looking you up and down, like he was judging you for entry.

“and who are you?”

seriously? you had been in school with him for like.. ever.

“uh- (y/n). (y/n) (l/n), we have history together,” you hurried out, refusing to make any eye contact with tommy, instead opting to look at cathy for help. “i can go if-“

“tommy, (y/n) is like.. my BFF forever, she’s super cool!” cathy, without you even asking, defended you against tommy’s instant judgements.

tommy nodded, pressing his lips together, “cool,” he said, simply. and then he moved to the side, allowing a pathway straight into the bullpen. it was pretty tame in terms of high school parties. basically exactly what you expected. drinking, dancing in ways that prom supervisors would disapprove of heavily, girls being tugged to rooms, guys wrestling for no reason but to prove their strength. cathy left you alone pretty early, basically as soon as you got in the house. she blew you a kiss, told you to have fun, and ran outside to go spend time with whatever that tool’s name was. 

so, you wandered around, got a coke can, found a couple of people to have very short talks to, and eventually you landed yourself in the kitchen. it was quiet there. it was just a guy holding ice to his forehead, a couple making out, two girls chatting and giggling, and now you. none of them acknowledged your presence. you sighed. you hate to admit it, but.. someone’s attention would have been very nice. to be noticed within a crowd of pretty girls and attractive guys, to have a spotlight on you for just a second. 

you leaned on the kitchen counter, taking a sip of your coke, looking around the kitchen and just zoning out. have you wasted your high school life? if you stuck with cathy, all day every day, would you have been invited to this party yourself, instead of being a plus one? did you rush everything? you wished that there were guidelines or a handbook to navigate hawkins high. one that told you how to feel like you belonged, one that told you how to not just survive. you wanted to rush back out to the living room-turned-dancefloor, but you just.. couldn’t bring yourself to do it, out of fear that your feet would catch aflame and everyone would stare at you, not helping to put you out, until they start laughing and pointing when you start rolling around and trying to get the fire off of your clothes. 

“hey.”

a familiar voice. a voice you had been unfortunately thinking about way too much that entire day. billy. god fucking damn it. you quickly snapped out of your thought train, blinking rapidly as your mind grounded back to reality, away from the flame in your imagination. 

“(y/n). i didn’t think i’d see you here,” billy remarked. he had changed clothes, too. a button up, half buttoned that proudly displayed his toned chest, and somehow an even tighter pair of black jeans. and again, that leather jacket you saw him wearing that day. he held two beer cans.

you shrugged, refusing to meet his eyes. you shifted a little, crossing your arms over your chest, like it would shield billy’s blaring gaze away from you. but you knew he was smirking, that stupid fucking smirk that made you want to slap him silly. without asking if he was welcome, or even considering if he was welcomed, billy leaned up against the counter right next to you, extending the beer can to you.

“here. i was gonna bring it to my buddy, but.. i found something a lot more interesting.” 

his words, no matter what they were, slid off of his tongue like velvet. he had to be a product of some sort of sorcery or something.

“no thanks. i don’t drink,” you stated, blankly, hugging yourself tighter. 

“aw, come on,” he snickered, refusing to move his hand. “too strong for you, sweetheart?”

“n-no, i just-”

“no?” he pushed back, raising an eyebrow. “you ever had somethin’ stronger than a beer?”

you paused, furrowing your eyebrows. “..yeah, yes i have,” you confirmed, turning your head to look at him finally, but still refusing to meet his eyes.

he didn’t say anything then, just held a challenging grin with the can still in his hand. you sighed and reluctantly took the can, knowing you couldn’t win. you would just pour it out after he left. but for now, you just took a sip, fighting so hard to keep your face from scrunching up in disgust. beer tasted awful, and it kind of burned your throat.

he nodded his head, his eyebrows raising with satisfaction. he was winning this. 

“watcha doin’ hiding in here all alone? waiting for someone to come find you?” he leaned his hand on the counter, just behind your back, to lean in closer to you. it was uncomfortable. even though he wasn’t even touching you, you felt like your skin was burning.

“no, i’m just.. taking a break.”

“riight, right, taking a break,” he joked. then, his eyes scanned you up and down, and you could feel every inch of your body itching, screaming at you to get up and leave. 

“you look fine as hell, (y/n). didn’t know if you were able to get out of that frumpy-nerd look,” billy chuckled. “dress kinda looks like you got it at GAP kids, though.”

you stopped, eyebrows furrowing even further, but this time with a different emotion as you processed his comment. did anyone ever tell this guy to shut up?  your mouth opened to speak, and then closed again, your words getting tangled on your tongue, and then opened again, and then closed again, and t-

“do you.. do you think that’s charming? like, does being a demeaning asshole really work?” you asserted, with a tone you didn’t know was possible from you. was it getting stuffy in here? it felt like there was ash filling your lungs. 

billy’s smirk fell from his face, slowly. he chewed his gum, and you heard the smacking between his teeth as his jaw set. he obviously didn’t like to be told no. he fell flat, for a while, having no words to respond with. you two engaged in a very intense staring contest for a while, both of you challenging, rather begging, the other to look away. 

to be honest, billy didn’t understand his feeling towards you either. you seemed so.. simple. boring. but the fact that you weren’t throwing yourself at him, even when he showed any sort of interest, frustrated him beyond belief. he got use to being able to flirt with any girl and her panties instantly dropping. he could figure out those girls, figure out a formula that worked every single time to get what he wanted and leave her wanting more. but he couldn’t figure you out. he saw you, just this morning, throwing a cigarette on the ground and smashing it with your shoe to hide anyone knowing of your habits. it made him wonder what else you were hiding, what else he could find by digging into you. and of course, he couldn’t deny, you looked.. amazing, at that party. so innocent, quiet, a contrast to the other girls wearing loud colors and hair that rivaled skyscrapers. it’s not that he found the other girls unattractive, they were all gorgeous, hot, but you were just.. something new. a challenge. 

“yeah. it does, usually, when they’re not a prude,” billy snarked. a quick transition from the charming facade he entered with. 

“i’m not- i’m not a prude, i’m not interested in you,” you argued, your tone gaining steadiness with your growing confidence, fueled by the need to beat this douchebag at his own game. because you weren’t his game, you weren’t something he could play and win. 

but then, his smirk returned. it was different this time, though. mischievous, scheming. his eyes darkened, you saw it, a storm washing over the blue ocean that swirled in his eyes. he set down his beer can, pushing himself off the counter. 

“not interested, yeah?” 

you nodded, pursing your lips together. you hugged yourself tighter. 

his eyes stared at you, waiting for you to meet them. you finally did, waiting for him to say something, do something, storm out and leave in shame and leaving you your victory. he just stared at you with that smirk for longer than you could tell.

slowly, like he was approaching a deer and didn’t want to scare it and run it off, he peeled the beer can out of your palm, setting it on the counter near his. 

his big hands floated to you, slipping between your denim jacket and your dress and landing against your waist, fingers digging into the pink fabric. 

“so.. you don’t care if i do this?” he challenged, his voice low.

you blinked, rapidly, breath picking up and your chest rising and falling quicker. you hoped he didn’t notice. 

he did.

“nope,” you huffed out, shaking your head. but that wasn’t enough. 

he pulled you towards him, away from the counter, so quickly that your hands ripped away from yourself and landed on his chest, one catching grip of his bare skin, and you swore your brain was spinning. 

you were close, so close that you could smell the beer and the smoke and the mint on his tongue. you felt the heavy, cool huffs of his nose on your face as he studied you and your expression, like he was waiting for your legs to give out and he would have to carry you to the nearest bedroom. but you didn’t. you just stood there, blinking. he saw you gulp, saw your jaw tense up and your eyes rip away from him, to the side and to the ceiling. he didn’t like that. so, he took your chin between his thumb and his pointer finger, anchoring your gaze to look at him.

“not interested, huh?” 

you just nodded. your mouth was dry. you guessed the beer took all moisture from your mouth down with it, and it wasn’t because of billy. of course not. you weren’t interested in him.

you felt his thumb lightly rubbing your chin. he was thinking. you saw his jaw set to the side, his tongue press against the roof of his mouth as he laughed. it made your stomach turn, made you flinch. 

“you’re not a good liar, you know that?” his eyebrows burrowed together in a condescending leer. 

“don’t lie to me, sweetheart. i know you wouldn’t want anything more..” he started, pulling you even closer to the heat of his body. his face hardened, sharp and heavy. “..than for me bend you over these counters, huh?”

your face was burning. your intuition was right, you were definitely going to be set on fire tonight. you felt like you were going to throw up and cry and.. rut against his leg and-

“barf me out, billy hargrove. i would never,” you snapped. your tongue betrayed you. they were stern words, for sure, but they sounded so weak, the protective layer of your skin breaking down. 

billy let out a little gasp, taunting you. “never? that’s a long time, (y/n),” he chuckled darkly. 

billy then leaned in, pulling your face to his, until your lips were almost grazing. and then he swerved to the side, lifting your chin up so he could reach your ear, so close to the point you could feel every sound vibration his voice made. 

“you’ll be on your knees for me in no time,” he muttered. it made you shiver, and he took note of that. you couldn’t tell if it was his words or the dark tone of his voice. he let his lips linger against your skin, making sure to let them make slight contact with the soft skin of your jaw, before slowly pulling away from your face with an overly conceited smile. he studied you and your features, even being as cocky as to glance down the top of your dress, before he let go of you.

and he was gone. 

you had already given him your name, and now he could lure and enchant you.  and you realized, within seconds, you quickly became billy’s prey. but definitely not the kind you expected yourself to be. 

#billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove #billy hargrove smut #billy hargrove fluff #hawkins high #stranger things x reader #billy stranger things #billy hargrove fic #billy hargrove imagine #stranger things fic

[happilyhertale]

Long Last Love - Aemond Targaryen x female!reader, Part 4

Summary: You are finally engaged to Aemond Targaryen. As the daughter of Daemon and Rhaenyra, you will now live in King's Landing and no longer on Dragonstone. Your marriage to Aemond is imminent, as is your life together. The relationship between Aemond and your family has never been particularly easy, but the future will show whether your love will withstand this and subsequent tensions.

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x fem!reader

Warnings: In some parts Smut (uncle/niece) as well as violence

Author’s note: Hey you (:

This is the follow-up story to "Long Lost Love".

The story starts just before the wedding of Aemond and y/n and goes over the events of the first season hotd. However, the events are not quite similar to those in the series. English is my second language, please forgive me if I made any mistakes (: For this part I had to translate a few sentences into High Valyrian. I used a website for this, if it's not correct, sorry!

Word count: 4k

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The sun is high in the sky, only small, light clouds adorn the blue sky beside it. You let your gaze wander as you stand on your balcony. The sun's rays lightly warm your face while you are lost in thought.

You are pulled out of your thoughts when you feel arms wrap around you. Or at least they try to. Your big belly is in the way, but the hands gently wrap around your belly and caress it tenderly.

Gently Aemond lets his nose wander over the side of your face, "My Queen..." you hear him whisper. You smile.

You are expecting your first child. It will be the third child to walk through these walls. Helaena and Aegon have already had twins, Jaehaera and Jaehaerys. You love the little ones. They're sweet and reserved, like Helaena. And especially now that you're heavily pregnant and happy to sit anywhere, you sit with Helaena for hours while the little ones play around you. And the little ones have also become so used to your presence that they are almost tearful when you don't sit with them. Little Jaehaera likes to sit by your side and show you different flowers that she has collected in the gardens with Helaena's help. She likes to put the flowers on your belly, making sure that the flowers are ordered by colour and size. As she does this, she tells the baby, as best she can, what the flowers look like that are currently on your belly. She is a clever little girl and it makes you smile every time you watch her.

It actually took you a while to get pregnant. The talk among the servants was already getting loud. At first they said you didn't find Aemond attractive enough to sleep with him. When Aemond tried to counter that, he made you moan so much at night that his name echoed throughout the Red Keep. But then they needed another explanation. Soon after, you heard talk about not being fertile.... When you heard this, you could only shake your head, but Aemond became angry. In his anger you stopped him, because after all, according to the servants, you were always to blame and it would not have made any difference if he had given free rein to his anger.

But what they didn't know was that you didn't want to get pregnant right away, but wanted to enjoy some more time with Aemond. And thank the gods, Aemond is very well-read, even when it comes to female nature. And so he also got hold of scriptures about how and when a woman can become pregnant. Therefore, at times when you desired him more than you otherwise would have, you took special care that he did not pour his seed into you. To your surprise, this worked for a while, but when you realised you were pregnant, you were overcome with a joy you had never felt before.

Immediately you noticed that something was not normal. At first you thought you had just eaten something bad because you were overcome by a persistent nausea. But Aemond also drew your attention to the fact that your breasts had become larger. When the second moon passed and you still didn't bleed, it was clear to you. You were pregnant.

But you didn't want to just tell Aemond, you wanted it to be special. So you made your way to the kitchen. You let the servants know that you were going to have your dinner in your chambers and that you had special requests for it.

Everything you eat for the evening must be small in size. So baby vegetables, like small carrots, small broccoli florets, small corn on the cob and so on. Also, there should only be small fillets and small breads.

That got you a few funny looks, but they fulfilled your wishes.

Then at noon you intercepted Aemond, gave him many kisses on the lips and told him that in the evening you would like to have dinner with him alone in your chambers. He just smirked at you and was delighted, of course, because he had something naughty in mind.

When Aemond came to your chambers in the evening, it was not long before dinner arrived. But at first Aemond did not notice the effort you had made. He was sitting next to you at the table, had just come from the training ground and was hungry. He filled his plate with various vegetables and pieces of fillet. Lively conversations filled your rooms until at some point he looked at his plate, "Did we actually only get leftovers to eat today? Why is the food so small... Don't they know that I train every day?"

You had to stifle a grin and bit your lips to help yourself.

He looked at you, "What? What's so funny?"

You let your gaze wander to his plate, "Look again closely"

His gaze slowly wandered down, "Small carrots.... Baby corncobs, small broccoli.... Even the meat is small! Just like for babies... But I doubt even a baby could get full of it..."

He slowly looked up at you and saw you grinning, "Are you with child...?" he whispers. You nodded and tears came to your eyes. Aemond jumped up and hugged you hastily.

You hadn't expected that and so you both slide off the chair. He let you fall on top of him and kissed you continuously, you started laughing, "Aemond! Stop it!" you giggled.

"My dear wife... My Love! Now I won't leave your side for a second.... You produce new life... our child..." He continued to kiss you.

Aemond spent the rest of the evening with you in your shared chambers. He was supposed to attend a council meeting to be introduced to the assumption of royal duties. But when the servant came to tell him that the council was waiting for him, he simply sent him away. Instead, he caressed you for hours, which led to you finally making passionate love to each other.

A soft "mmmhm", which sounds next to your ear, brings you back to reality. You turn your head to Aemond, he smiles.

"A penny for your thoughts," rings in your ears. You just chuckle softly.

Then you hear him whisper, "A girl would be nice".

You giggle softly, "You don't want a boy?"

He presses his nose further into the crook of your neck, "I am satisfied with everything... Whether it's a boy or a girl... But the thought that I could father something as tender as you... that would be lovely... "

Again you giggle, "I don't know if that's so tender in me.... it kicks all the time"

He kisses your neck, "Our girl has the temperament of a dragon... I feel we're having a girl"

You shake your head slightly, "Mhmm I don't think so.... something so restless can't be a delicate little girl."

He chuckles.

During your entire pregnancy, Aemond took care of you and hardly let you out of his sight. But you have a guilty conscience about it. You didn't want him to struggle with his royal duties and then feel obliged to be by your side all the time. You wanted to give him a few quiet hours when he didn't have to be by your side all the time. Another reason why you like to sit with Helaena and the little ones.

In doing so, he would not tell you that he likes to be by your side and literally watch your belly grow. He still likes it best when you are in your shared chambers.

His favourite thing is to caress your belly while you are surrounded by a mountain of pillows. He lies next to you and talks to your belly. Sometimes he brings in a book to do this. It lies on his lap while he reads to you and the child. But sometimes he just makes up stories about dragons and battles, and makes you laugh with elaborate and illogical endings.

But it also happens that when the baby seems restless in the evening and is constantly kicking, he talks to the baby in High Valyrian. You point out to him that it is not relevant whether he talks to the baby in High Valyrian or not. But he justifies himself by saying that he feels it makes the baby calmer and he wants it to get used to the sound. And even when he speaks softly, you can hear him whispering to your belly that there is no reason for all the kicking and that it shouldn't stress his pretty mother so much. Then, even more quietly, he whispers that he can hardly wait for it to come into the world, it seems as if you are not supposed to hear that. But of course you hear all of it and you just smile and lovingly stroke his soft hair as you listen to his murmurings.

However, your pregnancy does not only bring such pleasant moments. Aemond is always by your side and tries to keep every possible unpleasantness away from you, but that doesn't change the fact that you are now fat and ugly. Once called the most beautiful princess in the entire realm, you now feel like some fat lord who would only drink and eat. Only the missing beard on your face would make the difference visible. At least that's how you feel. Since a few moons have passed and you have already gone through most of your pregnancy, you are convinced that your belly has a life of its own. Judging by the size and movements inside.

You never saw it as necessary to have a lady-in-waiting by your side. You have always been able to take care of yourself. But now you have to admit to yourself that you need help. Your belly is the size of a dragon's head. Of Balerion, to be precise.

Alicent immediately had new dresses made for you when your dress suddenly tore at the seam on the side of the dress at dinner. You were startled and could only look at Aemond in panic.

Aemond didn't hesitate for a second and immediately put his leather waistcoat on you. Still shocked, you sat there, unable to move at first. Aemond, however, carefully helped you up and was about to lead you to your chambers when Aegon's voice rang out, "Brother... now let us at least see something beautiful at this dreary dinner".

Alicent immediately hissed Aegon's name angrily. You only tightened your grip on Aemond's arm, unable to return a sentence or at least an insult to Aegon.

"Brother, avert your gaze from my wife. I have already warned you once and I will not repeat it," Aemond replied dryly. You just hear Aegon giggle at that.

Of course, you burst into tears when you were in your shared chambers. That was proof to you that you had become fat. But Aemond, of course, was there to convince you otherwise. That a wonderful new life was growing inside you. Yet that was little consolation for you. Nevertheless, Aemond held you all night and assured you that you were not fat and that you were getting beautiful new clothes. And that was the moment you realised you needed help. The next morning you went to Alicent and asked for a lady-in-waiting to help you dress for the duration of your pregnancy, so that your belly was warm and safe. She must have guessed how hard this was for you, because she just smiled warmly and hugged you tightly.

But for Aemond you were not fat, his child was growing inside you, and every inch your belly grew was proof of your love. He desires you more every day, and it costs him great effort to keep his hands off you. Whether it is to make your aching body parts more bearable by gently massaging your neck, your back or your swollen feet, or to let his fingers do other soothing work.

But even though he's constantly trying to make you feel good, your hormones are unstoppable and this often ends in outbursts of anger, which Aemond feels most often because he's usually by your side. However, you often burst into tears shortly afterwards and apologise to him incessantly while the tears still run down your cheek.

No one has told you how exhausting pregnancy is, both physically and mentally.

But Aemond bears it bravely. He endures every tantrum stoically, only to take you in his arms afterwards, caress you and assure you that he won't leave you for a less fat or more sociable lady who doesn't go into hysterics all the time. He admires the way you put up with the discomfort of pregnancy and sees it as a small thing to put up with your tantrums. Probably also because he knows that everything that passes your lips during these tantrums is rarely meant that way.

He is just happy when you lie in bed with him in the evening and he can caress you for hours.  This has become your little ritual. Aemond no longer has any obligations in the evenings, the evenings are your time together.

Then he puts several pillows in your bed so that you can lie comfortably. He massages your feet, because they usually always hurt, or he goes in search of something edible in the Red Keep that you crave. He is doing all this so that you can at least find a few hours of sleep, because at the moment it is hard for you to find any sleep.

This time it is a knock that brings you back to reality. A soft but hurried knock, followed by a "Ñuha dārilaros? Ñuha dārilaros?" (My princess? My prince?) echoes through your chambers.

Aemond sighs, "Māzigon isse!" (Come in!)

You turn to the door and see a dragonkeeper enter, he bows his head briefly, "Ñuha dārilaros, issa nūmāzma Meraxes." (My princess, it is about Meraxes)

You stiffen, Aemond holds you in his arms, "Skoros nūmāzma zirȳla?" (What about her?)

"Issa... issa acting strangely. Ēza issare syt tubissa. Issa daor eating properly se kessa daor ivestragī anyone va zirȳla" (She… She is acting strangely. She has been for days. She's not eating properly and she won't let anyone near her.)

Aemond answers for you, "Syt tubissa sir? Se ao sagon sepār māzis bē lēda bisa sir?" (For days now? And you're just coming up with this now?)

The servant nods, "Ñuha dārilaros.... īlon... īlon gōntan daor jaelagon naejot jenigon ao lēda bisa. Yn issa becoming tolī se tolī aggressive se iksis nūmāzma naejot pykagon perzys" (My prince... we... we did not want to bother you with this.... But she is becoming more and more aggressive and is about to spit fire)

Aemond always manages to make the dragonkeepers stutter with nervousness. You lightly press your elbow into his side.

"Kirimvose syt letting nyke gīmigon. Kesan sagon va ñuha ñuhoso" (Thank you for letting me know. I will be on my way.)

Aemond looks at you incredulously. He turns to the servant, "Kostā jikagon" (You may go.)

He just bows his head and hastily leaves your chambers.

"You can't really want to go to the Dragonpit"

You look at him, he looks worried, "Why not? My dragon is in a bad way. Of course I will be by her side"

"You're heavily pregnant. You shouldn't be around a dragon who is behaving irrationally. Let me go."

"I am aware of my pregnancy. But I am not terminally ill. So I will be by her side. Because you won't be able to go near her any more than the dragonkeepers."

You kiss Aemond gently on the cheek and head for the door.

"Then at least let me come with you," you hear Aemond say.

"So you can protect me from the dragon fire?" you smile at him.

"That's not even a little bit funny," Aemond looks at you seriously. You accept his raised arm and you make your way to the Dragonpit.

It worries you that Meraxes is behaving like this. She's not aggressive, not one bit. Except she has to be, and she has to protect those she loves. But this unprovoked aggressiveness worries you. As quickly as you can, you go to the Dragonpit. The way is more strenuous than you thought and so you cling a little to Aemond's arm.

When you arrive at the Dragonpit, Meraxes notices you immediately. She is standing in a corner, alone, and that is unusual. She is a social dragon and at least always near Vhagar. But Vhagar is crouched in the opposite corner, asleep. At least that's how it seems. Meraxes looks towards you and wants to come towards you, but she suddenly falters in mid-motion. A rumbling makes itself felt in her chest and she cries out. She stops and looks at you. Aemond holds you tightly by the arm and stands half in front of you. You think it's sweet that he wants to keep you safe. He seems to really want to shield you from the dragon's flames. Not that his body could protect you from a dragon's flames. Nor would he need to protect you from Meraxes. But it's the thought that counts.

Meraxes lets her head wander, keeping an eye on everything and observing every living thing in the Dragonpit, while her tail slides back and forth menacingly. Out of the corner of your eye you see Vhagar raise his head briefly and also let out a growl. Aemond looks in Vhagar's direction and raises his hand reassuringly. Meraxes takes a few steps back and sits down, as if Vhagar has told her to calm down. Her nervousness worries you and you cautiously walk in her direction, but before you can step out from behind Aemond he holds you back, "Ȳdra daor sesīr pendagon nūmāzma ziry." (Don't even think about it)

But you shake off his arm and walk carefully towards Meraxes. She is still watching everything closely, but you are now close to her. The closer you come to her side, the calmer she becomes, until you stand at her side and gently stroke her neck. "Skoros iksis pirta ñuha riña?" (What is wrong my girl?), you say calmly to her.

She snorts, you have to smile a little and continue stroking her, letting the warmth of her body flood through you. "Gaomagon ao feel mērī?" (Do you feel alone?)

Slowly she turns her head towards you, you take a step towards her head and she gently presses it into your side.

At the same moment, her rear end moves to the side, and as you look to the side, seeing what her rear end has exposed, you gasp out, "Aemond!"

Aemond, startled by your silent scream, immediately wants to rush to you, but Meraxes moves her head menacingly in his direction and again a rumble sounds in her chest. He does not see you, for there is a huge dragon skull between you. "Y/n!" leaves his lips in near panic.

Still standing in the same spot, you whisper to her, "Sagon iā sȳz riña. Ivestragī zirȳla māzigon naejot nyke, ēza naejot jurnegon tolī se babies tolī mirre..." (Be a good girl. Let him come to me, he has to take care of the babies after all)

Her head moves in your direction again and Aemond takes a step forward. This time her head stays at your side and Aemond hurries to you. As he steps closer to you, you hear him, "Skoros iksis ziry??" (What is it??)

You smile at him, "Jurnegon.... Meraxes ēza ilagontan drōma", (Look... Meraxes has laid eggs) your hand is still gently on Meraxes.

Aemond starts to smile, his hand moves down your arm. You slowly walk towards the eggs and stroke your hand along Meraxe's body. You kneel down carefully and look at the eggs. Three eggs in the colours gold, blue and green lie there. Each egg shell shimmers in a different colour. Carefully you take the eggs, "Ñuha riña, mazeminna care hen zirȳ, okay?" (My girl, I will take care of them, okay?). Again you hear a sigh from her.

When you reach Aemond, he takes the eggs from you. You walk towards the dragonkeepers, "Ziry should sagon arlī naejot normal.  Ēza ilagontan drōma." (She should be back to normal. She has laid eggs.) you grin and present three eggs.

"Emā naejot gūrogon care hen drōma, kostilus. Skori ñuha riña iksis āzma, jaelan se kasta drōmon naejot sagon placed isse se riña's cradle" (You have to take care of the eggs, please. When my child is born, I want the blue egg to be placed in the child's cradle.)

The dragonkeepers bow their heads briefly, "Hen rhinka ñuha dārilaros" (Of course my princess). Aemond carefully hands over the eggs to the dragonkeepers.

Amond's arm is around your waist as you make your way back to your chambers. Again and again he kisses your cheek, "The blue egg for our daughter?" he asks you.

You smile at him, "Yes... I thought our son would be pleased that his father always has a Sapphir with him.... And he has a blue dragon by his side."

Aemond looks at you lovingly and gently kisses your lips.

A few weeks later, Aemond tells you at dinner in the evening that your family is coming to King's Landing. You are initially delighted until he tells you the reason for the visit. Luke's claim as heir to Driftmark is challenged by Vaemond Velaryon. Your gaze darkens and your anger is clearly visible. But just as you are about to get upset, Aegon speaks up, "Niece, what did you expect? With such a strong appearance and rather few features that scream Velaryon.... it was bound to happen." Your eyes shoot sparks in his direction and Alicent hisses "Aegon!"

Aemond squeezes your hand, knowing how hard it is for you to hold back at the moment.

You just throw your napkin on your plates and wordlessly leave the table. Aemond comes after you, having given Aegon a warning look.

As quickly as you can, you make your way to your chambers.

"My Love," you hear Aemond behind you.

He holds your arm as he reaches you, "My Love… Surely you haven't eaten enough. Let me get you some more food."

But you're too angry to even think about eating for a moment, "I can't be in the same room with Aegon for a second longer! Otherwise there's a danger that I'll sit on his face with my fat ass to suffocate him!!!"

Aemond has to suppress a smirk, "We shouldn't try that.... In the end, it could be a fetish of his..."

You give him a warning look. He just embraces you and presses you against him as far as he can, and lightly kisses the tip of your nose. "Try to see it that way... You haven't been able to see your family since our wedding... which I'm not necessarily sad about.... but they will be here again and you can spend time with them. And try not to pay attention to Aegon... as I do most of the time."

You nod slowly, "Do you know when they will arrive?"

"In about a week"

"How do you actually know they're going to come here?"

Aemond gently strokes your cheek, "My mother told me this afternoon and I asked her to let me tell you". You nod slowly and begin to smile, "Will you behave?" you ask him.

He grins slightly, "I'll do my best".

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Tag list

@leahjean  @afro-hispwriter  @jeyramarie  @powellssaturn @notabotiswear @hoshi-miharu-blog @random-human02 @m00n5t0n3 @sporadicshepherdzinebear @drewsgfduh @stargaryenx @dark-night-sky-99 @notabotiswear @ccosmic-illusion @darylandbethfanforever9 @grungegrrrl @spn-obession @carlottalhn @elle4404 @girl-with-an-orange-cat @genshinimpactislife @imjustboredso @tragicbucky @dollfaceyourfear @magnificantmermaid @mllemarianne @stargaryenx @mikariell95 @khaothick @aemonds-wifey @burningshewolf @munsonswrld @jackierose902109 @scaraxmouche @bucky-thorin-winchester @alexandra-001 @yentroucnagol @cicaspair418

#aemond x y/n #ewan mitchell #hotd #aemond fanfiction #aemond imagine #aemond x you #aemond targaryen #aemond fic #aemond smut #aemond fanfic #house of the dragon #hotd imagine #hotd smut #hotd fanfic #aemond targaryen x original character #aemond targaryen x targaryen!reader #aemond targaryen x you #aemond fluff #aemond targaryen imagine #house of the dragon aemond #aemond drabble #aemond one eye #prince aemond #dad aemond

[greypetrel]

Fanfic Writer Questions

Tagged by @melisusthewee, and at least another person. I'm sorry if I ignored the tag, I was away and it's a busy period, let me know ;_;

Tagging forward: @ndostairlyrium @shivunin @inquisimer and YOU who are reading and would like to do it!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 12, right now.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 497,183 ... I'm chatty.

3. What fandoms do you write for? Dragon Age, and a crossover with LOTR/The Silmarillion.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Home Was Never on the Ground (long fic, concluded, it's anthological and mainly me filling blanks in DAI as inspiration stroke)

She of Many Names (ongoing, a LOTR/Dragon Age crossover. A follower on Instagram asked me if Aisling was Sauron, the idea made me laugh so much that my mind took fire.)

Saturday Prompts (a collection of prompts I posted here. I never uploaded every one of them, oops)

Death and All of Its Friends (ongoing, a DA2 collection)

The Night Before First Day (Two chapters, concluded. One it's in rhyme and illustrated. Aisling taught her daughter that the Dreadwolf is Santa out of spite. Solas tries to disapprove.)

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes, always!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I do love angst, but I don't like angsty endings all that much ahahahahah. I think the one that gets closer, in a bitter-sweet way, is One for the Road. Call me a sucker for rare-pairs, this was also prompted here and my brain took fire (LavellanxFenris)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? The Night Before First Day. Listen I'm not a Christmas person, I turn into a seasonal depressed Grinch at Christmas, living in a catholic country doesn't help, and that is my way of giving myself some joy.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not that I know of.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Not any that I publish.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Yes I do. She of Many Names is a Dragon Age and LOTR crossover. I love it dearly, I'm slow to update it because I have the greatest love for Tolkien (with all his flaws, but my brain rewired when I saw the first movie, and the book has been my entire personality for two years. I wouldn't be the same person without it) and I do care of rendering it as I want.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? ... Not that I know of? I hope not, ahahahah :"D

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? If you consider that English is not my first language, all my fics are translated? xD Other than that, no.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but I'd love to.

14. What's your all time favorite ship? EowynxFaramir, hands down. Out of pure lenght. Maybe LeiaxHan Solo (my parents are both nerds, I think my mom made me watch Star Wars the first time... I don't remember, the vhs were always around in the house. I was very, very little.)(we don't talk about the sequel trilogy.)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I tried to write a third chapter for the aforementioned One for the Road... But it ends up in a love triangle and I don't like love triangles that aren't a poly relationship. So, it's sitting in my folder and I'll never finish it. I was considering ditching the second chapter and rewrite it as a "Aisling as a companion in DA2" fic... But MEH.

16. What are your writing strengths? I think dialogue. I am trained as a comic artist, which means that the writing parts that get polished are dialogue. I have much more experience with that. ... I am also terrible at judging my own work in a positive way, tho, so you tell me.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? English not being my first language and leading to mis-spellings. Other than that... I started writing fanfiction after YEARS of not writing anything in prose that wasn't screenplays for comics (which follows different rules). Since I stopped because of being hurt by it, I went on to it by not planning stuff.

I'm rusty with prose, and my retelling -the first thing I tackled- clearly had little planning ahead.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? It's a no, for me, unless you specifically wants your audience not to understand what's being said and create a sense of isolation and of not knowing what's going on. A sentence here and there with a translation is fine. But if it's something long... You want the reader to understand well. Italicized text it is.

19. First fandom you wrote for? I wouldn't call it a fandom, but: Greek Mythology. I drew a parody comic of the Iliad in my first high school year, alongside friends. It had been so fun. I also wrote, still in high school, something heavily inspired by Eragon, which only my friends had the pleasure of reading. (I'm only saying it involved my now most hated trope: THE SECRET TWIN.)

20. Favorite fic you've written? The next one.

I'm very invested in Ashes and Sparks, aka the Dreadwolf AU. I'm putting ideas in it and going fully canon divergent and writing it as I would like Inquisition to have gone. No Corypheus, more crazy tevinters, and the focus ON FUCKING TIME TRAVEL.

In a modern setting because yes.

It's also tackling something I absolutely hate in fiction when it's done wrongly, which is time travel, and I'm sweating and hoping I'll do it with logic. It's something niche and not so focused on a single ship, so probably it'll interest only me, but I'm happily writing and trying to contain myself from posting chapters of more than 10k.

Blank Form Under the Cut

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5. Do you respond to comments?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

16. What are your writing strengths?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

20. Favorite fic you've written?

#fanfic writer questions #tagged petrel #fanfiction #ao3 #writing petrel #mel you're rude to force me to say nice things about myself #buuuuuuh! *gives biscuits*

[taddymason]

Brother

One shot of Kaida and Noah (from @finn-m-corvex)!! This au has possessed my mind and made me really want to write something after reading Finn's amazing one shot. Chronologically this would be a continuation (not relevant, but at least in this one Jay hasn't recovered his memories).

I will publish the next chapter of Lighting Pin soon, these weeks I have been with exams and for some reason the third chapter has been quite heavy to write.

(also sorry for any spelling mistakes, English is not my first language!)

Words: 2.9k

TW: implied child abuse.

Living in the monastery is weird. Kaida feels like an outsider and that sucks.

It's weird because there are times she's too aggressive to let her guard down for a fucking second and stop yelling at any of these people. It's weird because sometimes she allows herself to stop and think about how screwed the Administration was with the rest of the world, that these kids here weren't ordered to kill from a young age or that they've never washed someone else's blood under their fingernails. That there are things that she thought were normal and when she says them out loud she realizes that they were not.

Sometimes she feel like a rabid dog that just wants to bite something and not let go, she feel like if any of them talk to her the first thing they will say will be an insult or something hurtful. She is angry at how things have changed, that her father is no longer hers, that there is no normality to return to because there never was one.

And when Tessa tells her how her father treated her and Noah, that anger doesn't diminish. Not when she knew every word was true.

It was hard to process… that. Especially when her Jay would probably set the world on fire before letting something bad happen to her. When he preferred to stay in the Administration despite all the bad things that happened there, the bad things that they had to do in their job, just so as not to lose her.

They had never talked about it, she didn't even know how he would react if she told him, but she was sure that the reason the Administrator had let him adopt her was solely so that he would stay there. Have two elemental masters nearby. It had worked well she supposed.

After her training, she enters the monastery dining room once she saw that it was partially clear. Only Noah was there, lying on an couch reading a book with complete concentration. She didn't have as much trouble talking to him compared to the others. He was calm in a way the others weren't and he wasn't actively trying to make her angry like Jenna.

"What are you reading?" She asks, raising her voice, a few steps behind the couch where he was.

She had been trying to talk to them more, to build a relationship that wasn't based on her speaking sarcastically to them, to be more empathetic as Jay liked to say. It was an effort, but she felt like she should at least try.

The boy looks up, startled by her presence, smiling friendly in a rather familiar way as he gestures to his book.

“Hey, Kaida! I was working on some ideas for a future project. You want to see?" He says in a kind and jovial voice. It was quite difficult for her to believe how he and Tessa could be so calm, have so much patience with what they had had to suffer. How could they make it look so easy? She supposed it was something that came with having siblings.

Kaida nods somewhat uncertainly, and he holds out the book for her to see, a few scribbles and paragraphs of engineering terminology written on the pages that seemed to be some time old.

She can't help but roll her eyes while huffing. She shouldn't be surprised that half of them were so passionate about inventing. “A mech. You really like these mechanical things, huh?”

Noah raises an eyebrow curiously, not responding to the mockery. “Do you know how to read Ninjargon?” She nodded vaguely with disinterest as she continued searching through the notes for some idea similar to a weapon or a ship. "I had no idea. Although it makes sense I guess…”

She didn't miss the way his tone fell at the end. It was easy to read between the lines. Hoping it wouldn't show, she clears her throat. “Yeah, actually, I have quite a collection of books from here. They are better than any shit from the Administration. Especially the animal ones.”

His face lights up with a smile, he brushes away the blue locks that fell from his forehead as he sits up slightly. "I also like them a lot! What’s your fav-?”

His tone is suddenly cut off when a voice interrupts him from behind them.

“Hey, kiddo.”

Both she and Noah turned their gaze toward the door. Jay enters at a brisk pace while giving her a half smile. She doesn't miss the way Noah tenses next to her at the sound of his voice.

That moves something red and burning in her chest and she pushes it down, remembering Tessa's words. She couldn't blame them.

“Hi, old man.” Kaida waves mockingly, hoping the worried look she gives the boy next to her wasn't obvious. It seemed like he could run away at any moment.

“How was your training?” he asks and she's grateful that in that moment he keeps his distance and doesn't get too close to where they were. She felt stupid for not realizing why sooner, but Noah never liked being in the same room with him for long.

Kaida glances at him carefully, gauging his withdrawn expression before turning to Jay as she takes a few steps forward.

“Well, I still insist that target practice is better.” She jokes, although she actually meant it half seriously. She wasn't used to fighting for so long without using a weapon or her powers, physical strength had never been one of her advantages. The fights had to end quickly in her opinion.

But she had also been able to talk to Tessa more, which ultimately must have been something.

Jay laughs softly while rolling his eyes. “If you want, early tomorrow we can do target practice in the yard.”

She smiles. “Don't you think the green one would be against that idea?”

He frowned half defensively as he snorted arrogantly. “Well, he's not my leader.” And that's when he scans the room, paying attention to the boy on the couch for the first time. Jay's gaze lingered on Noah for a moment, no doubt noticing the boy's rigid posture, the way he had deliberately turned his eyes to his book, how he avoided looking at him or making the slightest sound whenever he spoke.

His brow furrows slightly, and for a few seconds, he opens his mouth as if he wants to say something, struggling with the words with a slurred sound.

However, in the end he just sighs dejectedly and mutters a few words under his breath.

“Let me know if you need anything.” He murmurs, keeping his voice deliberately calm. His hand absentmindedly pats her shoulder as he passes, giving the other teen one last look before he leaves.

She nods firmly, waiting for him to leave the room before turning around and walking over to where the other boy was. He was hunched over, his black hair completely covering his eyes as he read his old book. Although it seemed more like he was glaring at the pages more than reading them.

"Hey." She calls, attracting his attention. Kaida took a deep breath before saying. “You don't have to be afraid of him, you know. He’s not going to hurt you.”

Noah frowns with a small inhale, his mouth opening and closing a few times as he lowers his gaze. His fingers absentmindedly run through the pages of his notebook.

“It's… complicated, Kaida.” He whispers, almost as if he was preparing for her to fight and argue like he had with Tessa. His body was so stiff that he was practically shaking as he crumpled in place. “I don't think you understand. You don’t want to hear about this.”

She didn't really want to hear about it, what Tessa had said had been too much. She might as well have taken that as a sign to continue on her way and mind her own business.

But she didn't want them to continue being afraid of Jay either. Especially when he could definitely tell, and she already knew he was dealing with too much shit right now.

Instead of leaving, she makes a sympathetic face, hesitating for a moment before sitting down in one of the other chairs. Her hands clenching together as she absentmindedly pulled at her cuticles.

“Tessa told me about your timeline.” she murmurs, trying not to make her voice sound as sharp or harsh as she felt. She had noticed that he didn't like it when she and Jay spoke loudly, which was all the time because they were both terrible at speaking softly. Noah's gaze clears with understanding and wonder as he sits up straighter. “I'm sorry about what happened to your parents.”

He seems to bite his tongue and his own voice, running a hand through his hair several times between slow breaths.

“He never tried to be my father.” He says in a heavy voice, slurring his words. His tone is calm, however, there's more resignation than anger than she expected and she didn't know what to do about. “All he did was… make things worse. For me and Tessa. He didn't even care when he hurts us or-“ he cuts himself off as he shook his head in regret. "No, I'm sorry. You don’t want to hear this, kid.”

She frowns, trying to think clearly as she spoke. “If you want to talk about it, I can handle it.” Her eyes dart back in the direction Jay had gone before looking back at him. “Jay is not like that. He wouldn’t hurt you, much less want you to be afraid of him.”

He shakes his head slightly. “I just don't think I'm ready to give him that chance.”

Kaida took a deep breath as she bit her lip nervously. She knew he wasn't winning any awards for emotional talks and she appreciated the infinite patience this boy had in handling her pathetic attempt.

“Look- Noah, I'm telling you this, because I know how you feel.” she explains, the words something bitter that she spits into the air with difficulty. “I know what it's like to be… scared like that.”

He looks at her uneasily, looking her up and down intensely. Looking genuinely confused as he cleared his throat with halting words. "How?"

“It wasn't Jay, if that's what you think.” she assures with a rigid tone. The scars on her eyebrow stung with a burning sensation, the memory of the grip of a gun crossing the air, and she absentmindedly scratches them as she looked away.

She hears him sigh in relief before starting to speak. "But then, what-"

She cuts him off with a sharp sigh, speaking quickly as she waved a hand in the air.

"I, um, I grew up in an orphanage, you know? And it was a military orphanage, so it was double shit." "She explains, clicking her tongue between the pauses in her words. As if she had a mouth full of cotton." "They trained us to be agents. Soldiers." She could hear him swallowing hard, swallowing whatever words he wanted to say, but he doesn't speak. “And the people there didn't treat the children well. We were supposed to be tough and disciplined. They did not tolerate mistakes and they had their… methods to make us obey them.”

Noah looked at her intensely the same way Jay did when she said things like that. When she was a fucking mess who bit the hand of anyone who came near, when her first instinct for any mistake was to run because she didn't know what the punishment would be.

She can imagine what it must be like for Tessa and Noah and it doesn't help her calm the knot of anger that coils in her throat and chest. It was one thing for the stupid Administration guards to give her a scar on her face because of her intelligent mouth, but for their father to do things like that to them? That made her stomach turn.

She makes a sudden gesture with her hand, trying to downplay it, so that it doesn't show how much that look affects her. “I'm just saying, I'm still- I'm still dealing with it. Being distrustful of people. Or- “she takes a breath before continuing. "-being afraid all the time."

Noah purses his lips, his face pale as he rubs his eyes, a tired expression that underlines everything he has endured. “Kaida, I-“

"I just want you to know that Jay helped me with that. It didn't matter if I was practically a burden, or if I was too screwed up not to get upset over the smallest thing-" Noah frowned as if to interrupt her, but she continued. "What I'm trying to say is that you don't have to be afraid of him. He's never laid a hand on me. And I know he wouldn't do it to you either."

He is silent for a moment before speaking. “It's just… it's harder than it looks. It's too much. For me and Tessa. It doesn’t help that he- well, he doesn’t even remember Nya or the others.”

Kaida grimaces, rubbing her hands restlessly. “Yeah, I don't think I'm helping with that.”

Noah frowns immediately as he shakes his head a few times again. "It's not your fault."

“Yeah, but I'm not making it any easier either, right?” she snorts harder than she intended. It takes her a moment to catch her breath again between her teeth. Noah looks at her attentively and not for the first time, she wondered where he got the desire to stay and listen to what she had to say. She wasn't good at this. She clears her throat, eyes closed. “I don't want to pressure you to see him as- you know. Just give him a chance. And, uh-” her tone stumbles stiffly and struggles to keep her words steady and not shake pathetically. “I want you to know that you can talk to me about these things if you want, not just with Tessa. I can deal with it.”

She opens her eyes to see his expression, Noah, to his credit, just blinks in surprise for a few seconds before nodding. Clearly confused as to whatever peace attempt they're forming here, but taking it at least. There is a softness in his gaze that she cannot decipher and she tries to ignore it as she crosses her arms.

"Alright." She hears him say in a stiff voice and she only nodds once.

"Good." Her fingers drum against the arm of the chair several times for a moment before she clicks her tongue sharply. “Anyway, do you know the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?” She asks in complete seriousness, he looks at her blankly as she waits dramatically in silence. She waits just a second before smiling. “He just needed some space.”

If she had known how he was going to laugh at a joke like that, maybe she would have told one of her stupid puns much sooner. His loud laughter only encourages her own, and soon the red acid burning in the pit of his stomach evaporates like a cloud.

Noah interrupts himself in the middle of his laughter with a firm and intense voice.

"Hey, Kaida, you can talk to me too if you need." He wasn't lying. He makes sure to add emphasis to his words as he leans forward. "And you're not a burden. You know that?"

She doesn't really agree with that, but the way he says it sends something warm and safe in her chest and she doesn't have the strength to contradict him. Instead, she nods vaguely with lost eyes.

He gives her a tentative smile and looks back at his book, although he still didn't seem to be reading the pages. Kaida, once she is sure that no one is approaching, takes courage before speaking.

"Do you want to tell me about any of your inventions?" Her hand vaguely points to the notebook.

His gaze practically glowed as he looked at her with a dumbfounded smile. "Really?"

She shrugs, approaches him less cautiously than before. "I'm sure there must be something good about Ninjago's primitive technology, right?"

He laughs again, not even bothering to respond to her mockery, before delving into complex, technical terms about his inventions at full speed. She stays by his side, still a good distance away, but listens to him attentively while he speaks without even stopping to breathe.

Maybe having a brother wasn't so bad after all.

#ninjago jay #ninjago fanfic #dad jay au #kaida walker #noah walker #ninjago oc #she is trying guys

[lemonkeiku]

Sergeant Bambi

Summary : a brief introduce to Sergeant Athea "Bambi" Diggory, my Original Character in Call of Duty universe by Captain Price to Kate Laswell.

Pairing: None

Warnings: possibly bad English especially the grammar (sorry, English is not my first language), inaccurate military term (I tried my best to do research) and I haven't written for a long time and this is the first time I write in English.

JUNE, 2020 1430 Washington D.C, United State of America

“It’s rare for you to ask to meet me so soon after last time.” A woman commented as a man with beard approached her, sitting in the corner of a coffee shop in the middle of the day. The man gave her a quick chuckle before taking another seat in front of the woman.

“What can I say, Kate, I had something you might find interesting,” the man finally replied. He put a brown file on the table, knocking it with his finger a few times to get Kate Laswell’s attention.

It proved successful as Laswell’s eyes almost locked to the file. Judged by the thickness of it, seems like it contained someone’s profile in there and pretty average—not so thin, not so thick. “Another addition to the Task Force, John?” she guessed.

“Straight to point... I thought American loves small talk,” he joked.

“You make it clear you want something. Why bother wasting our time?”

He nodded his head as he agreed. He pushed the file toward her confidently. “Yeah, I’d like to add another one,” he requested.

“Huh? Seems like you forgot one,” she teased him.

He let a small chuckle out, “No, not really. I just came across her and though she probably could be a good additional to the team.”

“And for you get her file by yourself, she must be very good,” she assumed while she took the file and Price just gave her a suspicious grin.

“You know me, Kate. I won't recruit just anyone,” he replied, sipping his just-arrived tea.

“What’s so special about her, anyway? You should understand that I can’t just add another personnel to the team just because you asked for it,” she argued. Her eyebrows furrowed, being skeptical even Price might have a good reason to make such request.

“Just read the file first, I’ll explain after,” he suggested, crossed both his hand and leaned his back against the chair. “I wouldn't waste both of our time if it wasn't worth it.”

“Fine.”

She took the file and started with the name on the cover.

“Sergeant Athea “Bambi” Diggory,” she read it out loud.

There was also a photo of a young woman with long wavy black hair and ocean blue eyes. Quite unfamiliar, she thought.

“She looks young,” she commented. “And she does look like a fawn,” she added another commented, pointing to her face feature and her callsign.

Then, she proceed to read the first page. Mainly because Price didn’t give any comment as he kept silence and let her continue with the file on her hands. As she read the first 2 pages, nothing really stands out except she was a capable soldier.

Full name, Athea Veronica Diggory aka Bambi. Born in 1998 and living in London. Height of 170 cm and weight of about 58 kg. Speaks three languages including English, Spanish and French.

She joined the British Army at the age of 18 before joining the Special Air Service two years later. Promoted to Sergeant last year for her outstanding performance in hunting terrorists and insurgents across Europe and the Middle East. Experienced in primary target elimination, tracking and reconnaissance, covert surveillance, close quarter combat, sniper techniques and demolitions.

Impressive but all seems normal to Laswell. At least, until she got to the interested part.

On the third page, there was a long list of Bambi’s deployment and all the missions she has carried out. But almost half of it was blacked out. So on the next pages, which contained reports of her missions, almost all of them were covered in black marker.

The other thing was the time when these secret missions were carried out. It could be seen that secret missions were carried out after several or between 2 official missions. And the time between the date of the previous mission and the mission after is relatively short. So it just means that these secret missions were carried out quickly.

Laswell thought it was weird because nothing out of ordinary from Bambi’s profile. She understood that she was a well-performed soldier, but to have a lot of confidential reports like this was unusual.

“What is it, John?” she finally asked.

Price sniffed. “That’s what make her special. Kate. Twenty-one years old, only four years of serving both in the Army and SAS but already got long list of missions and half of it was secret missions. Long list? Fine. Young blood got a lot of energy. But secret missions?”

“If it was Ghost’s, I probably could understand…” she almost lost of words at this point. Either she was amazed or worried about Bambi. “And you want her to be in your team?”

He nodded his head. “I had no problem with those secret missions. For me, those are nothing more than proves that she’s more than capable to be in the team.”

“What are these secret missions? Do you have any idea?” she asked.

This time, Price shook his head. “Nope. Not a single one. This is the most detail I could get. All I know, those missions weren’t on official record.”

“And what about others’ opinion about it?”

“They won’t know. The file they’ll get is the edited version. It will exclude all the confidential information. Just the official records,” he grinned, followed with his old man chuckles that makes Kate raised one of her eyebrows.

“How you got this then?” she confused.

“I got my sources. Don’t worry about it,” he reassured.

“Have you ever worked with her?” she once again questioned him, flipping pages of the files with her fingers.

“Only once but even then it wasn't under my command.” He took another sip of his tea.

“And you think she can work well with you?” she doubted him.

“Worth the shot,” he smiled confidently. Laswell wasn’t sure, of course.

“That’s not enough, John. You need a better reason,” she objected. Of course it wasn't enough.

No matter how much Laswell wanted to fulfill Price's request, she still needed a compelling reason to add additional personnel at this time, when they were about to start a new mission soon. But on the other side, Price was so eager to add this particular person with unknown reason for Laswell.

“I know. But you’d love her,” he tried.

With that, Laswell wasn’t convinced yet. She still had some things to consider even after reading some of the reports—that she could read—a few times. Too many secret will never be a good thing. But she couldn’t denied that she was intrigue.

“Fine. But we've already had a plan and you know that. We'll all be leaving for Verdansk in a few days. So I can't possibly include anyone new in the plan. For now, she could only be sent as assistance if the situation turned out of control. That's the best thing I can do,” she finally decided that made Price breathe with ease. He also smiled and Laswell found it annoying.

“I appreciate it, Kate. I’ll introduce her to you in person if it necessary.” Price stood up from his chair, ready to leave as the purpose of his coming here has been conveyed.

“No need. Since this was a last minute request, I’ll meet her after it's all done. I’ll give you an update if there’s any. Just make sure everyone is ready.”

“See you in few days, Kate.”

#call of duty #original character #cod oc #cod original character #call of duty original character #athea 'bambi' diggory #captain john price #captain price #john price #call of duty fanfic #cod fanfic #call of duty fanfiction #call of duty headcanons #cod headcanons #cod hcs #cod au #call of duty au

[thegirlwhowrites642]

Hi! My native language is Spanish, so I apologize for grammatical errors in this post. Well, today I read a post about Wyler (It's a ship from Wednesday Serie), where the person behind it wrote that in her opinion, put the names together to make the shipp name, wasn't a good idea because it left out the story and the characteristics of the characters or relation ship. Then, I thought of Hinny, and that they used to be called Orange Crush, but we don't have any idea or explanation for that name, and I was wondering what kind of name it could be for them. And also, if you had any opinion about it.

Hi!

First of all, please never apologise for your English on this blog. It's not my language either, I often make mistakes (mainly because I'm an idiot who doesn't re-read what she writes but that's beside the point). This is an absolutely safe space for non-native English speakers and if you guys ever want to discuss how it is to approach spaces where you need to talk in English or how it is to experience the Harry Potter books without being Anglo-Saxon or the cultural differences between these characters and your world, my asks are always open.

That said, back to what you asked me.

I despise the ship name hinny, it's so ugly. Orange Crush wasn't much better but at least it was kind of creative (?). Those were the early years of the books, therefore Ginny was mainly the girl with a crush on Harry so I guess "crush" came from that and "orange" for the hair, I suppose.

I think we deserve a new name. I think Harry and Ginny deserve a new name. We had the Orange Crush era, and we had the Hinny era, can't we have a third one? A third wave.

Fun fact, I actually have a list of possible names for them in my drafts.

My main inspiration was wolfstar which is objectively the king of ship names. It references the identities of the characters and their names and it sounds like an actual word. I so wanna meet the person who came up with it. They clearly have a superior brain.

My list of names was this (they are pretty much all terrible but I'll humiliate myself if we can start this conversation):

scarblush -> I know, terrible

butterbludger -> I know, it sucks, I'm basically just making fun of them, Ginny putting her elbow in the butter dish, Harry being killed by bludgers

homelight -> this is an actual reference to the meaning of their names, Harry means "home ruler" and Ginevra means "white light" or "bright spirit", I think we can work around this, but homelight makes too much sense already as a word, so it doesn't work

skeeingchase -> obvious reference to their Quidditch roles, definitely too long

Then I had a couple with their names:

Hinevra -> this one is actually beautiful but I think it's too long

Havra -> meh, it does kind of sound like the name of a Celtic female spirit though

Girry -> this one is sooo ugly

Hanny -> no comment

#harry x ginny

[hamartia-grander]

Just coming in to say that your post on Leon's misogyny in RE4R was so interesting to read! I'm a huge Leon fan, but, like I'm such a sucker for exploring his flaws and his wrongs. I love my characters complex, and his obviously personal grudge against Ada is one of those aspects that was always buzzing on the back of my mind, but I didn't see anyone talk about. Like, that's so interesting! It's fun to think about and explore. Also, I don't know how I never noticed the parallels of Ada/Krauser, and how differently he treats the two, despite Krauser arguably being way worse than Ada. You're so right about it being personal for him, and him being so completely stubborn and narrow minded. At best. It is about his feelings, first and foremost. He truly doesn't consider Ada's perspective, and that's such an interesting aspect of their relationship to me! Ada is often portrayed as the one using and manipulating him by the fandom (sadly), but, like... I rarely see folks pointing out how Leon is being pretty shitty to Ada in return (granted, he's probably too damn dense and narrow minded to see that but still). Ada is honest with Leon. She obviously cares for him. It is not personal for her, and she makes it crystal clear, over and over again. Yet, he's still all condescending and suspicious around her. It sucks how this aspect of them is rarely explored, because it is so fascinating.

But, I guess Leon does get stripped of his flaws far too often.

Personally, I kinda interpret him being all stupidly salty around her due to her not contacting him after Racoon City, and him coming to learn about her surviving from the third source. Which is... very stupid. Because, like, how was she supposed to do that? And, more over, why was she supposed to do that? She didn't shoot him on the bridge, her parting words to him were of genuine care - it doesn't make much sense to him bring this salty, like she's some heartless manipulator who just used him, when that is simply not true. But, it's how he interprets it, and that's hella interesting to me. Leon is rarely showcased as selfish, but there are aspects of him which are shitty, selfish and stupid. And I love that. I love pointing out his shitty behavior, and why it is stupid and wrong.

It sucks how, if I do that, it kind of gets interpreted as character hating, when it's actually the opposite.

Also, uh, this is a bit of a personal addition, but, in some weird way, I'm a Leon fan, but I can't relate to many Leon fans? 😭 Like, again, the way many write for Ada is just... a different character altogether??? I was under the impression of Ada being a straight up villain or at least an antagonist before playing the games, from what I heard of her relationship with Leon. But, like... no??? It's actually far from it???? And Leon should not be stripped of his own flaws and stupid behavior? That is to say, here's to hoping that Ada gets more future installments with her as the main focus! She's such an interesting character, and she needs her spotlight.

Sorry for any weird wordings, English is not my first language!! And uh, yeah, this is a long ramble, but I just got so excited seeing someone talking about this :)

Anon I'm kissing you on the forehead, YES. We are the same. I too love the aspects of Leon's character (and I hate on him a lot but he IS an interesting character) and it makes me mad when ppl erase his flaws like, at that point, you're not even loving Leon you're just loving a watered down projection of him? Which is FUNNY because that what Leon's doing to Ada lmao. But yeah exactly, this fandom makes Ada out as a complete monster and only care about her when she's romantically tied to Leon, which is gross. She can't be her own character to these ppl. She deserves better

I think people who enjoy Leon AND know his flaws are the coolest people ever. Erasing his flaws is just lame.

#This was so nice to read thank you anon <333 #resident evil

[dear-mrs-otome]

Hello! I just wanted to know your opinion on Silvio's route. Did u like it? Was there anything that made you kinda disappointed or irritated? But more importantly did you like the explanation they gave to Silvio's fear of women's touch? Personally, (mind that i didn't do the route, i read your summaries) i think it wasn't that well managed. I don't know, i just feel like it was a bit lacking, i mean (correct me if I'm wrong): Silvio finds out about her mother's plans, he fights with her, Adria then to "save" herself plays the manipulation card, she hugs him (which i get that from Silvio's perspective that hug felt more like a threat than a genuine act of affection), and then she implies that he may be a bastard son.... Now especially the last part is kinda terrible, but i don't see any connection between his mother's hug and his fear... Am i reading this wrong? Does he relate this bad memory to women's touch (which can happen)? Or wut?

Still, even if that were the case, it feels lacking to me, i wanted something more honestly. When I read this summary and i got to the point where Silvio fights with Adria, i swear all i was thinking about was: oh god now she'll sexually abuse him to make him stay quiet or something - but that didn't happen, and I'm a bit disappointed. Not because i want poor Silvio to suffer ( he's my fav no), but because that would have been more interesting and would make even more sense , to me at least. Also we would have talked about sexual harassment in men and that is a very important theme that no one ever talks about (i mean men get raped too BY WOMEN) but anyway i understand why they didn't choose that route.

So, overall i wanted more DRAMA, that's all. And i want to know your opinion on this, because maybe i didn't understand the real meaning of that scene. Thanks in advance and sorry of my English, it's not my native language

First off, Nonny, no need to apologize for your English, it's perfectly fine! And I appreciate you asking my opinion on this.

Before I get into it too much, let me take a moment to clear up what I think might be some misunderstandings about Silvio, and that's partly on me because I've been slow on translating his route and really scattered with the asks I've answered.

The main things to address here is that I don't believe it's ever implied that his mother has anything to do with his touch aversion, or at least not directly. There may be an element of him growing up with little to no affection, physical or otherwise, and that's certainly somewhat on his mother - but it's also very much on his father whom it seems clear only ever touched Silvio when he was offering violence. Silvio himself never ever draws a direct line between his mother and his revulsion when it comes to being touched by women.

Where he DOES draw a line is between the sorts of women who showed an interest in him, after being 'invisible' compared to his brothers for most of his childhood, and his disgust at how they clearly only want him for his money. On the one hand, the one he loudly and proudly proclaims, he's thrilled to be getting attention and will take it whatever the means…but on the other, subconsciously at least, he resents the fact that the only value they see in him is his wealth. And given that these are the only women he's ever really known in his life, the equation in his head becomes thus: women = disgust. He's trapped in an endless agonizing cycle of wanting love and affection and attachment, and being repelled by the only places he knows to seek it.

Personally, putting my armchair psychologist hat on here, I also think that Silvio's revulsion regarding women is a way of outwardly manifesting the self-loathing he feels internally. It's easier to pin that on someone else, and to place the blame squarely on an external third party, than to examine his own attitudes towards himself.

As for my own personal opinion on all this, and how I felt about the route: I enjoyed it, and I was neither disappointed nor irritated. While I recognize and support the assertion that male victims of sexual assault are tragically ignored or mocked, I feel in general as if the sooner sexual assault is abandoned as any form of a plot device or trope the better. I found it refreshing that his issue didn't stem from something as cliched and nauseating as that, and I enjoyed the different layers of his complex and how they all worked together to build up this wall, brick by brick, that did him a life-long disservice.

#spoiler #spoilers #ikemen prince spoilers #ikepri spoilers #mrs o talks #mrs o loves salty seadogs

[funkymbtifiction]

Thinkers vs feelers: what's actually going on?

What does it actually mean to be a feeling type? I know that the thinking/feeling dichotomy isn't about having more or less emotions, but about what criteria one uses to make decisions. But I also know is very common for feeling types to mistype as thinkers, possibly due to misinformation spread online.

I think it's defaulting to humanitarian perspectives and languages, and if push comes to shove, devaluing logic or facts to accommodate feelings -- your own or someone else's. Feelers are tuned into both the emotional side of things (how things affect them/others, how this decision will impact our relationship, even assigning human-like emotional traits to animals, for example) and toward making decisions based on people. How it affects people, how it will make people feel, whether it is right/good for people. It's a lack of objectivity in the realm of humanitarian welfare.

I talk about this some in my book, but it can mean reaching the same decision but from two different perspectives -- a feeler and a thinker might both agree that a business serves to sustain society... basically, people trade money for goods, and everyone gets to "survive." If the business falls on hard times, and they have to let a bunch of people go, the thinker thinks of it in terms of -- if I don't do this, everyone involved will lose their job. It's a necessary evil to give a third of my workforce 30 days notice. The feeler might also think it's necessary, but their first thought will be for those they are letting go -- and the impact it will have on their families. Thinkers know logically that this has an impact; feelers know emotionally that this has an impact.

Does that make any sense?

If you want a really good example of thinking vs. feeling, watch the Elizabeth Gaskell miniseries North and South (not the Civil War series but the English series) in which an ESTJ and an ESFJ clash, argue, and eventually fall in love, because he perfectly articulates a thinker perspective (if my mill goes under, we will all be worse off; I did not install the fan to keep the cotton off my mill workers for charitable purposes, but because healthy employees live longer and work for me longer, and that's how they provide for their families), whereas she and her father come at everything from a feeler perspective (this is moral/amoral, surely it was kind of you to install the wheel to keep the fluff off your workers). She is a Fe-dom who turns everything into a humanitarian debate; her father is an INFP who turns everything into a moral debate from his own subjectivity (I could no longer believe what I was teaching as a pastor, so I had to quit my profession and now we earn very little money, but at least I am not being intellectually dishonest). Thinkers prioritize rationality and facts and logic over emotions, feelers do the opposite.

How did you personally know you valued Fi over Te as  a criteria?

Good question. My Te is not as strong as that of my TJ mother, for one thing. It's harder for me to use it, and for me to be factually objective instead of reading things through an emotional lens, but also because I view things in terms of how it affects people, how it makes them feel, whether this will hinder or build our friendship, etc. I also find it harder to suppress my feelings toward people if I dislike them, whereas high Te can put those things aside if it hinders their desired outcome.

As a tertiary Fi user I believe I do honor my Fi a lot, but when it comes to decision making I still clash a lot with FPs and I used to think it was due to value differences. But I've noticed that even when we agree philosophically, there's still often disagreement on what to do about a situation, how to go about fixing something. So I'd like to understand what is it that makes thinkers and feelers different on a base level.

I hope my explanation helped somewhat. :)

#question #mbti

[abricktothehead]

character lore written down instead of living rent free in my head??? (it’s more likely than you think)

transcripts under the cut

First image (Saturday and Chimra):

>be me >be demon >species reproduces through mitosis, which carries over some memories >only memory from parent is of some weirdass caravan >caravan has only two people in it?? >probably some dealers >have no character motivation so decide to track them down >trail goes cold bc i have nothing to work off of >years later sleepin in some building hollow >feel something HUGE slam into the side >ohshitdragon.jpg >i look down >its the fucking caravan >not even dealers literally just alchemists >mfw

---

hey r u still awake u shed all over the specimens and now i need to redo everything take a shower before going into the room next time wench btw your feathers contain trace amounts of dragonjuice rotten hellspawn

Second image (Fizz and Chimra):

I(19/0F Ghost) want to talk to my roommate's(??NB Demon) friend(20/3F Ghost) but she's always wrapped up in her work. I get that afterlife goals are important and all, but she locks herself in her room for days on end, which doesn't seem all that healthy. I tried talking to her roommate, but his demonic is outside of my hearing range and my DSL isn't that good, so that was that. My friend says that she's always Like That and that it's apparently normal for ghosts. Do I just not know enough about living as a ghost yet?

---

hey r u still awake you left ur hat here again you know if you want to stay you can just ask right were leaving tomorrow but if u want to tag along let me know also lmk when you read this i need to let scrim know if were delaying

Third image (Fizz and Saturday):

I (19/2F Ghost) am being repeatedly lied to by my best friend (??NB Demon). I know they're just doing it as a joke, but I'm actually worried about this causing actual issues down the line. Like, I love them and all, but I can't shake the feeling something actually bad will happen, and it'll be all Boy who cried wolf, yknow? WIBTA if I tell them to knock it off?

---

>be me >be demon >find a ghost in the rubble while getting the fuck out of my exs place >she just woke up after dying >not ready for this at all holy shit >comes at me speaking english, i don't fucking know english >charades.jpg >somehow i get her to follow me out of the ruins before the weeds get her >no idea where to take her >suddenly remember that i have a ghost friend who can probably help >i get to her house >there's no fucking house >it takes a week to track her down bc she insists on not staying in one place >we finally get to her house >at this point me and the ghost have a bit of an understanding >she still does not know where were going >still following tho >my friend opens the door and asks wtf am I doing here >the new ghost looks confused >she doesn't know sign either >mfw

Fourth image (Fizz):

Hey, I just died. AMA!

Q: Yikes. Good luck OP, mine was real rough. What happened? A: Last thing I remember I was rushing home because it was starting to storm. Then there was this bright flash of light and I woke up here, so lightning strike probably?

Q: ,;,';;;',.';,.';'.;,'.;;'.? A: What?

Q: are you okay? Did someone find you? A: Some weird biblically accurate angel thing. I think they want me to follow them?

Q: op do you even know where you are A: Not in the slightest.

UPDATE: We made it to the place. There's some skeleton plant lady here, but she's trying to talk to me with all these weird hand gestures that definitely aren't sign language, or at least any I'm familiar with. Does anyone know what's going on here? Have I just been kidnapped?

UPDATE: Guys, I know what Hell and demons and ghosts and everything are now, I've gotten many many comments about them. Chill. Anyway, I can actually understand what people are saying now (for the most part) and apparently I just got picked up by some randoms. I don't think it's a good idea to contact a ghost resource center right now, turns out we're in a pretty isolated area and I apparently can't die twice, so I'll keep you all posted on how that works out.

UPDATE: Good news, everyone! I'm not racist anymore! Very sorry for anything I said that might have been disrespectful to demons, it was completely unintentional and I now know better. Anyway, I managed to get a place staying in the local caravan along with the demon who found me (thank you to everyone offering advice!) and I got in contact with the resident necrotherapist. I luckily wasn't too banged up by the dying process, just some weird teeth issues and some latent electricity. It hurts a bit to talk out loud, but I'll just need to get used to it.

Q: Glad to hear you're still doing alright, OP, but are you sure that's all deformationwise? Because the way you're describing it sounds wayyy less deformed than any ghost I've known, and as someone who works by the Tower that's saying something.

A:

Fifth image (Saturday):

>be me >be earthling demon baby >literally just a fucking limb with limbs and an eye bc my species reproduces by regrowth like a worm >i get picked up by the local specter >hes obsessed with biology or whatever >PUTS ME IN A FUCKING JAR >tries to raise me like im some kinda parrot or something >figure out how to squeeze out of the pipes >GTFO >end up getting got by child support >they have no idea what to do with me >get sent to some living household, they think i'm gross >they take me to hell for a trip >familiar as shit, food actually tastes like not chemicals >family jokes about everything being as weird as me >family jokes about just leaving me here >they are about to find out it's not a joke >GTFO >no house but food is literally everywhere and water is free >end up sticking with this one caravan >i meet someone >[THE INCIDENT] >i now have a crippling fear of dogs >i pick up a newly spawned ghost along the way >mfw we have 0 common languages >i teach her demonic and DSL and she teaches me english >we are now best friends >boy i sure hope nothing bad or tragic happens to me involving memories aha

#worldbuilding #oc #oc writing #oc: welcome back to hell #wbth: fizz #wbth: saturday #wbth: chimra #brickenson art #sort of