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autisticsupervillain · 9 months

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Autistic Avatars not realizing that they're Avatars because they're just "like that": a thread

The Eye

Special Interest in the supernatural = constant food for The Watcher

You know about Interest? TELL ME EVERYTHING

"Hey man listen to me infodump about this horrifying ghost story I read for twenty minutes, alright?"

I need to Know everything about something before I partake in it.

"How did I Know that? Eh, I probably hyperfixated on it at some point."

I cannot be misunderstood so I'll beam the facts into your brain.

The Web

I must plan everything 200 steps in advance before doing anything.

I have prepared for all possible outcomes, I can now have this one conversation.

If I set up all these variables long in advance, then I can do everything correctly and Win the social interaction.

I cannot do anything before The Plan says to.

"I practice my social skills by talking to my spider friends." -Martin "Autism" Blackwood

The Stranger

I cannot socialize without being Uncanny.

If my socialization seems like an act, that's because it is. I practice it in the mirror every day.

Theater Kid

How do you Normal Human?

The Anatomy Class.

Assuming fellow Stranger Avatars also just have the 'Tism. They're not trying to be creepy, honest.

Can't do faces. Doesn't notice when you get replaced.

Being subtly off is too subtle for me.

The Lonely

"I have failed the social interaction. Let the fog reclaim me."

Talking to people is draining my batteries even faster than ever. I need to be alone for approximately 384,400,000 years.

Nothing can overstimulate me in the cool, blinding fog.

Nothing unpredictable can happen in the fog.

The fog is your friend.

The known connection between autism and depression feeds the fog.

The Dark

Why is the sun so god damn bright? I'm going to blow it up I swear.

Night Owl.

Everything's decently quite at night and people leave you alone.

Same overstimulation preventatives as the Lonely tbh. Dark and fog are good concealers.

The dawn is your enemy.

The dread florescent lights shall never bother me again. They break upon my arrival.

Can and will infodump to the monster under my bed. Even now it feels like it listens.

The Spiral

Autism makes getting other mental illnesses recognized hard.

Autism dissociation from body and mind. When did it become 3 AM and why do I hurt? Why am I grumpy? What vital self care task did I forget?

Literal mind doesn't often match reality. Reality is specifically unspecific.

Spaced out and wandered off. Where the fuck am I?

I'm not a mental baby, please stop treating me like it.

I'm not inherently dangerous, please stop treating me like it.

Memory problems my beloathed. Did that happen? I dunno.

What Is Time?

What Is Me?

The Gender

Why do things only make sense to me? What does no one else make sense?

The Flesh

Autism Genderfuckery = Flesh fueled dysphoria.

Meat is the only texture that's palatable. Especially the Mystery Meat.

Will never try any other foods. Too picky.

Infodumps about the horrors of meat processing at dinner and ruins the meal for everyone. More steak for me.

Hates PETA.

Double the arms means double the stim. You weren't using them, right?

Working out is a great stim.

The Corruption

Practices social interaction with the bugs who live in my walls.

"Insects are disgusting. I love them!"

Will protect endangered insects by any means necessary.

According to all known laws of aviation-

Relationship boundaries struggles.

Difficulty noticing sickness symptoms.

Is that nausea or am I overstimulated? *Accidentally causes supernatural plague outbreak*

Difficulty getting diseases diagnosed because of both Autism and noticing too many symptoms so the doctors assume they're faking.

Forgot vital hygiene needs.

The Bugs Are My Friends! They keep me company when I'm sick!

The Buried

Weighted blankets are insufficient, I need the Earth to reclaim me.

Avoid social interaction by tunneling everywhere like a mole.

101 facts about worms.

Forgor hygiene again. Time to become dirt.

Digging a hole is good stimming.

That guy who had to be buried alive to sleep properly. What do you mean you don't want to be buried?

The End

Aradia Megido from Homestuck.Com

That's it, that's the list.

The Desolation

The Autism Temper.

Losing relationships and friendships to ableism and your own disability constantly.

The Fire is a wonderful stim board. Watch it crinkle.

Just watching candles melt for hours.

The fire and thrill gives my life passion again.

Jude Perry.png

The Vast

Accidentally terrifying people by infodumping about the horrors of nature.

The stimulus of falling.

Nature/Space/Weather Documentary on in background always.

Okay, but from how high did you fall? I want to calculate your velocity as you fell through the void.

Weirdly enough... power scaling?

Power scaling is just the art of determining how easily your favorite characters can destroy mankind so... yeah, I can see it.

Brain empty, only terminal velocity.

The Hunt

Cat Autism

The inherent hyperfocus of the hunt. The chase. Your prey.

Studying the habits of your latest hyperfixation/Hunt assigned prey for days at a time.

I've spent so much time hunting in the woods that I forgot about human society. The Missing Person's Bureau have written you off for dead.

Returning to society to sell your wears and realizing you aren't human anymore.

That's okay. Social interaction is random. The Hunt makes sense.

It's black and white. Predator and prey. Humans hunting monsters. It Makes Sense.

The Slaughter

The incredible human WW1 documentary.

"Did you know?" *Describes horrible historic warcrime*

Takes apart puts back together guns from their collection.

The list of known casualties from this war is incomplete. With my help, they can expand it. :)

The Extinction

The world is spiraling towards its end and only you seem to care.

It hurts to be this passionate about a lost cause.

You Will Make Them Care.

#the magnus archives #autism #the eye #the web #the stranger #the lonely #the dark #the spiral #the flesh #the corruption #the buried #the end #the desolation #the vast #the hunt #the slaughter #the extinction

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mvltisstuff · 6 months

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hi omg thought of this while rewatching s2 ep3 with the earthquake but okay so there’s the little montage of everyone being happy and eddie running to christopher - but what if there’s something similar for buck? instead of him being with abby he’s dating reader and reader has a lowkey job (maybe librarian at an elementary school?) so when he gets home the first thing he does is yell for reader and then holds them and they both shed a few happy tears just talking about how happy they are that the other is okay.

you’re honestly the bestest and i am saying this in advance that this is gonna be fabulous, as always. PLEASE AND THANK YOU!! <333

something in the orange - e.b

summary: request

evan buckley x reader

gif

a/n: the end of this ask was literally so sweet, i appreciate this so so much and i’m so happy you enjoy my works, that’s why i do them <33

buck was so sick and tired of watching everyone else have someone to run to. he hated having to see everyone in each others arms, watching a warm embrace ensue in front of him, just wanting it to be him instead. it was years on end of him watching kids with their parents, husbands with their wives, friends with their own friends. he always had the quick breakfast with a lay in bed, but he never had the long run of love that was supposed to come with it.

he thought his parents would be able to supply that love for him, but he must’ve been mistaken. they had no issue jumping out on every little thing in his life, nonetheless missing out on it. there was only so much love maddie could give, and he needed every drop of it. he thought maybe, someone mature like abby would come with the cherishing attitude to stay, but it left as fast as she did.

the earthquake had given a huge jumble to bucks brain, being able to save a bunch of people, but just wanted to go home at the same time. it felt selfish, and he hated himself for it, but how could he wish for anything else but just to be with y/n at home? he’s seen calamity and chaos the entire day, a constant strain of it into his shift. he’s seen death, broken bones, sobs, blood, anything that one doesn’t want to see. it took incredible pursuing to make bobby let buck take a break, but he could see he needed it.

he held his phone shakily in his hand, squinting over y/n’s name on the screen being darkened by the sunlight. he was nervous to even press the call button, not knowing if she’d be the one to pick it up, or an emergency responder who had her phone.

“hi, baby,” her sweet voice rang through the phone, leading him to sigh out and he couldn’t contain the light smile that formed on his lips. “are you ok?”

“i’m fine, i just wanted to hear your voice, make sure you’re ok.”

“we’re alright over here, there’s still kids here that need to get picked up, but they’re going pretty well with the evacuations.”

“i’m sorry i didn’t get over there, i got sent in the opposite direction.” y/n was working at the school on the other side of the city. buck was, of course, sent to work on the east side. he wanted to be able to save her, even if she wasn’t in trouble. he wanted to touch her so he knew she was breathing and alright, but he’d have to wait.

“don’t apologize, you’re doing amazing, buck,” she reassures him, letting his mind relax for a moment as she speaks to him. “go do your job, i’ll see you tonight, i promise.”

“i just want to see you.”

“i know, but you can in a few hours. do it for me, ok?”

“i love you, so much.”

“i love you, too, buck.”

the moment his fingers connected with the cold metal of the door, he instantly twisted it open to reveal the dim, yellowish lighting in his home. he felt like the introduction to his apartment felt like the ground stopped shaking. he was so excited to be able to rest, lay in his bed with y/n in his arms.

the thick soles of his shoes thumped against the ground as he threw his bags onto the floor. his shoulders instantly slumped and his feet automatically led to the stairs.

“hey,” y/n spoke, drying her hair with a towel to the side as it rested on her shoulder.

“hi.” he replied, slowly blinking his eyes.

“baby, you’re exhausted.” y/n steps forward down a few steps, standing a few inches taller than buck for once. her hands run over his shoulder blades, wandering over his skin and magically lifting the tension and stress from the earthquake.

“i know,” he says. “i just wanted you so bad today. there wasn’t a minute where you weren’t on my mind.”

“i’m here for good, buck. i’m not going anywhere, and i want you to get some rest.” she grabs his hand, pulling him up the steps and leading him to sit on the bed. he strips down to his boxers, leaving him shirtless as he puts on a warm hoodie that y/n handed him. he stops by the bathroom, washing his face as y/n prepares the bed for the two of them.

“i got you ice water, i left it on the nightstand.” y/n smiles softly up at him as he walks back in. “i turned the AC up, since you like it cold and i turned on the mattress heater.”

“you treat me too well, honey.”

“you did amazing work today, you deserve the treatment of a saint. come lay with me, please?”

“don’t have to ask twice.”

he crawls back into the bed as y/n dims the lights and turns their TV on. the white lights brighten their faces as he leans into her chest. his cheek rests right against the middle of her breasts, over her heart.

her arm is wrapped warmly around under his arm, the other hand rubbing his short hair. one of his legs lay between hers, his hands running against her sides. he breathes softly matching the rhythm of her, letting the noises of her gentle words and quiet noises from the TV lull him to sleep, allowing his deserving body to rest against the person he calls home.

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godslino · 3 months

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i am so obsessed with your writing style and im so happy to see that you like to write kidfics because i don’t see them often !! could you write seungmin as a dad?

sending love <3

alright. kenzie gave me dad!seungmin brain worms. everyone enjoy (i certainly enjoyed writing it) and let me know if this deserves to have a continuation

TINY HANDS | seungmin dad!seungmin. request. 640 words.

Tiny hands.

It’s the one thing Seungmin will never get used to—ten fingers, ten little fingernails, soft skin that he can’t get enough of.

“What are you doing?”

Seungmin looks up just as you’re walking into the living room, freshly showered and hair still damp. Beautiful as ever.

He doesn’t allow himself to be distracted for too long, immediately turning his attention back to the sleeping baby in his lap. His baby.

“I’m counting her fingers.” he says, rubbing his thumb along each individual digit. He could get lost in his own head like this, comparing the size of his own hand to the borderline microscopic ones that your daughter has.

“Well, does she have them all?” you ask as you burrow into the armchair across from him, “Because if she doesn’t then I have a phone call to make.”

Seungmin chuckles and brings one of her tiny hands to his lips, places a small kiss on her knuckles. “Don’t worry, they’re all here.”

Everything about her is so delicate. Seungmin was scared at first, worried that she’d break if he touched her. Born two weeks early, she was smaller than anything he’d ever seen before. Seungmin couldn’t believe that he had a part in creating that, in making a human so beautiful, living proof of your love for one another. It’s still surreal to him, like a dream that he hopes he never wakes up from.

Once he got over his initial fear that he’d accidentally hurt her, Seungmin never spent a second without her close to him.

Sometimes you scold him, tell him that she’ll never get used to sleeping in her crib because she’s always nestled into the crook of his elbow. Even when he’s doing things around the house, he baby wears like a champ, has her pressed up against his chest as he parades around the living room in what was supposed to be your swaddle carrier.

“That wasn’t a gift for you, idiot.” Is what Minho had said the first time he stopped by and caught a glimpse of Seungmin with it on.

“He literally won’t take it off.” you laughed, grabbing the bags of groceries out of Minho’s hands so he could shuffle over and coo over her sleeping figure tucked into the fabric, a proud look on Seungmin’s face.

Seungmin doesn’t know how he’s going to do it when she gets bigger. What if he never gets to carry her again? What if she doesn't want him to carry her? What if her hands grow so much that he can’t hold both of them in his own anymore? Seungmin’s thought about it so many times, has driven himself to tears over hypothetical situations that are eons away from ever happening.

Seungmin holds his daughter like he has the world in his hands. He rubs his nose against her cheeks and smiles when she blinks at him, makes noises that have her opening and closing her mouth in an attempt to copy him. He takes an endless amount of pictures that eat away at the storage on his phone but he really couldn’t care less. He sings to her when she cries and laughs when she burps after every feeding session. He whispers stories to her about how the two of you met when she wakes up in the middle of the night and he has to rock her back to sleep. He hopes and dreams that one day, when she’s older, she’ll know that his love for her extends much farther than any distance imaginable.

Tiny hands. Ten little fingers. Seungmin watches as they wrap around his own and smiles brighter than the sun.

When you eventually move to snuggle up next to him, your head against his chest as you both sit with a finger curled inside of each of your daughter’s little fists, nothing else matters.

This is love, and it’s Seungmin’s to keep forever.

#📁 requests #seungmin drabble #seungmin x reader #seungmin scenarios #seungmin imagines #seungmin fic #seungmin fluff #skzstarnet #love : snowyquokka

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save-the-villainous-cat · 6 months

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Hey, I love ur writing so much!! Idk if ur interested in continuation requestions but if you are I'd love to see a continuation of the insomniac hero/villain with sleep powers? Maybe the sleep powers take effect immediately so villain makes sure hero is all ready and comfy in bed first? Maybe villain is still there when hero wakes up? Idk just some thoughts! The first part was so beautifully written it's really stuck in my brain

pt. 1

"Lay down," the villain said. They had been right with their secret assumption - the hero had barely eaten anything either. They had made a quick dinner and had helped them get ready for bed.

It wasn't like they cared. Obviously that wasn't the case. They did this because their sidekicks were friends...

"You're pretty patient with me," the hero said. They took their shirt off and the villain's face turned red. Immediately, they looked at the floor, trying not to be embarrassed. "I appreciate that."

"Well- It's...sleep is important." The villain gathered their thoughts. They weren't sixteen anymore. They couldn't possibly blush because of a shirtless hero.

"I think I need to get my ass kicked every once in a while. Not in the literal sense. I mean, sometimes I think I need someone to tell me what to do. To grab my shoulders and shake me until I realise that I'm wrong."

"You're stubborn, that's alright." I can deal with stubborn. The villain cleared their throat and allowed themselves to look at the hero again.

"I probably would have looked through those files until morning." The hero laughed and the villain could feel a weird twist in their chest. It twisted further and further, the more they looked at the hero. "Can you forget how to rest? Is that a thing?"

They let themselves sink into their bed and the villain finally found the courage to approach them.

"I think you can forget to take care of yourself. Especially when you put everyone else's needs above your own."

"I am a hero, that's what I do. It's my destiny. I was born to do this..."

"You weren't born to destroy yourself." The villain sat down on the bed. "Now stop stalling."

The hero smirked sleepily.

"You do care," they said and the villain wasn't sure if they could fight these allegations any longer.

"You talk to much." They tugged the hero into bed and suddenly, that overwhelming feeling of being embarrassed came over them again. If I could, they thought, if I could put my life into their hands, I would.

The hero's dedication was something they admired and yet they felt jealousy rise in their throat. They wanted that dedication, too. They wanted the hero to put as much time into their fights as they put time into working for the city. But they also knew they couldn't force the hero.

"Time for bed," they said. They summoned their powers but before they could make the hero fall asleep, their enemy grabbed the villain's hand.

"Please stay if you can," they whispered. "You don't have to but...if you want to, please...I think you're the only one I'd allow to help me."

And then the answer came quite softly, "Of course."

The villain stayed until the hero woke up. In total, the hero slept for eleven hours.

#writing snippet #heroxvillain snippet #heroxvillain prompt #heroes and villains #hero #villain #heroxvillain #hero x villain #request #an answer for an ask #cont'd

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kunekojo · 1 year

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What kind of morning voice do they have and they use it to their advantage for aizen, mayuri and shinji(seperately) plz

You can decide the genre

Yes hi hello :3 here you go, I hope you like it

Morning voice featuring Aizen, Mayuri, Shinji

Warning: NSFW, subtly suggestive

Sosuke Aizen

Aizen almost always wakes up with a hoarse voice. You can literally feel the way it guttural vibrates when he mouths a simple “good morning” and God it drives you crazy.

It just draws you to wrap around him and he takes your signs of interest very seriously. Simply put, he’ll just use it to see you squirm in his arms

He can say anything and you'll just stare at him, delighting yourself with how hot he sounds but when a pair of dirty words creep out of his mouth, you're done

That being said, he'll keep whispering against your ear until just feeling his touch won't be enough anymore

It's the way he can make you so needy with nothing but his voice that gives him an immense sense of overpowering.

So please, prepare yourself for all the things he'll push you to do just by a simple husky demand because that'll take awhile

When he considers he's teased you enough, he'll pull you closer and delight himself with everything you'll do

Kurotsuchi Mayuri

Mayuri’s morning voice is raucous. It's so much different than his usual melodic voice that every time he wakes up beside you and talks, you just stare at him

He notices your the odd expression drawn all over your face and asks what's up but when you tell him it's nothing, he'll leave it at that

But you still can't accommodate yourself to the difference in pitch. Is it that unusual or do you just like it a lot? You'll never know

Yet when he makes a small demand, you'll feel something in your tummy. A pleasant ache that makes you do his biding and longer around him so much that it'll draw his attention

There's clearly something ongoing in your brain and he'll spend some time to figure it out while accidentally giving you more fuel

But when you'll just stare into his eyes and gasp upon hearing him say “Sit still” it makes sense. He's found something to toy around you with

The way you gaze at him causes a grin to bloom all over his face as he slowly begins using his voice to his advantage. He’ll order you to do all sorts of things just because it's so delightful how you listen to every word he instructs you to do

Shinji

Shinji will wake up and say a sweet good morning to you in a gruff, but when you don't answer back he'll worry

He’ll push himself to see what's wrong with you but you're alright. Still, there's something wrong because you keep staring at him with your mouth open

The way he lifts himself and mouths “What's up beautiful?” is music to your ears, so much that you still keep quiet to enjoy more bits of his morning voice. But he's not having it with you

“Can't you tell me what's wrong?” “oh Nothing I just...” you pause but the way he leans in and urges you by saying “you what? Spill it out” just makes you melt so much more

“You sound so good like this.” “huh?”

He's so sleepy that it takes him a while to figure out that you're practically saying he sounds so hot right now, but you help him realize by pulling him into a kiss

When you draw back, he'll think of what to say to get you to kiss him like that again.

There's a wide grin on his face and you can tell he's cooking something. Maybe it's a dirty order or sweet praise but what comes out of his mouth is something else

He’ll say something that sounds so terrible but it's the fact he tries that matters. It amuses you a little

“Let's just keep it like usual, okay?”

He nods in agreement whilst clutching you in his arms as he tries to remember what’ll drive you to the edge

#mayuri x reader #bleach mayuri #mayuri kurotsuchi #aizen x reader #captain aizen #aizen sosuke x reader #bleach aizen #sosuke aizen #shinji #shinji bleach #shinji x you #shinji x reader #bleach #my asks #bleach imagines

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desperate-daydream · 9 months

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I LOVE YOUR WORKS SO MUCHHH!!!! Could you please make a headcannon or short story of Five having a husband who's more chaotic than Klaus? Or a shy husband but more deadly than Five?

☂️Umbrella Academy

❀ five hargreeves x male (chaotic husband) reader ⚣

A/N: thank you so much!! I’m glad that you like reading what my crazy brain creates. XD. alright, I hope you like this one.

tags/warnings: you‘re five‘s husband, you and klaus are the chaos duo

(headcanons)

so, yeah, you‘re sometimes even more chaotic than klaus

five still can‘t believe how he fell for you

well, actually, you were the one to fall at your first meeting

like literally. you fell into his arms even

he caught you and you had looked up into the most handsome face you‘ve ever seen (and that cute little frown)

that wasn‘t the last time you fell and he had to catch you

when you walked somewhere you either jumped or ran around or you were walking on top of a wall

it seems like there is nothing to stop you from your antics

get up in the middle of the night to go swimming? okay

steal a little something from that ignorant asshole that had insulted you mere moments ago? why not?

bring home any pet you find on the streets and convince five to let it stay for a while? definitely

start singing and dancing out of nowhere, wherever you are? always

five will never admit it, but you manage more often than not to convince him to help you with your crazy ideas

he will say it‘s because he has to make sure you don‘t accidentally kill yourself

but he‘s mostly just deeply in love with you

he would do anything for his husband

he‘s killed for you before and he‘d do it again

everything to see his precious chaotic husband happy

but he also saw his life flash before his eyes when you and klaus met

he literally went and got a knife to carry around at all times in case you two got into serious trouble

another thing he would never admit is that klaus was probably his favorite sibling

apparently he had a lot of sympathy or whatever for the chaotic ones

okay so, the next thing he knows he finds klaus and you laying half naked in the living room

and somehow you two had found a stray kitten again and brought it back with you

together with at least ten bags full. of. clothes.

he made his way through the bags while purposely avoiding the cat that followed him with its gaze

then he slowly shook you awake

“(y/n)“, he sighed, “..love, wake up.“

you grumbled and slowly opened your eyes

a smile formed on your face when you saw that it was your husband and you reached out your arms towards him

he sighed again but let you pull him in to cuddle

you snuggled closer but five wouldn’t let you fall asleep again, he sat up and pulled you into his lap

you took the chance to kiss him

as much as he loved kissing you your husband pulled away after a few moments

“brush your teeth“

you let out an annoyed whine and pinched his cheek

“okay, can we talk about the cat now?“

five gestured to the creature that had approached them

you bent down to pick it up and the kitten started purring while it snuggled against your chest

„Can we keep it? Pleeeeease“, you put on your best pout combined with big pleading eyes, „for just a few days?“

five sighed another time, he knew he couldn‘t resist you

he nodded and you cuddled closer to him together with the kitten

yeah, five really loved his chaotic husband

so much that he let you get through with most of your crazy ideas

in the end your chaos brightened up his days much more than anything else

#five hargreeves #five hargreaves x reader #five hargreeves x reader #five hargreeves x male reader #x male reader #male reader #x trans male reader #trans male reader #husband reader #gay #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy

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suzukiblu · 8 months

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WIP snippets: Tim/Kon!!! :)

"You told Arrowette you'd be a good boy while she was gone, didn't you?" Robin reminds him, licking his lips, and oh no, Kon thinks with no small amount of dread. "So be good for me."

"That is really not what she meant by that," Kon says hopefully not as feebly as he feels like he's saying it. Just–hopefully.

"She did explicitly say you should make out with me," Robin also reminds him. Kon is very, very uncomfortable with this situation. In several ways, is Kon uncomfortable with this situation.

"Yeah, well, that's because you're currently all jacked up on love spell mind control or whatever and think you want me to," he says. "Not actually a great makeout motivator, in my personal opinion."

"I might be. Or maybe I just wanted everyone else to leave the two of us alone for a little while," Robin murmurs lowly, which is admittedly something he would be insane enough to do, actual literal freak that he is, but also Kon isn't completely stupid, thanks.

"You definitely are," he says.

"Don't you like the attention, kid?" Robin says coaxingly, stroking a hand down his cheek, and Kon grimaces a little bit more than he wants to let himself grimace.

"Dude," he says. "I know you're kinda compromised right now but could you not be an asshole about me being–whatever, never mind, just–"

Robin . . . frowns, faintly. His fingers still against Kon's face.

"About you being what?" he asks.

"Just–I know I'm easy, alright, you don't have to rub it in," Kon says just a little tightly, and tries not to grit his teeth. Although yeah, well, that whole thing does explain why bespelled/drugged/whatever Robin picked him of all people to fixate on. Obviously. Bat-training and all, going for the weak link. Just . . .

He wishes it didn't, he guesses.

That's all.

"Superboy," Robin says, still just barely frowning.

"Look, it's fine, I mean obviously that's why you picked me to jump, just–" Kon says, and struggles to say, and just . . . and just . . . "I don't care if you think I'm a whore or whatever. Just please stop saying things you think will get me to be fucked up enough to literally assault you, okay?"

"I picked you because you're my favorite," Robin says.

Kon . . . blinks.

"What?" he says.

"You're my favorite," Robin says. "And I trust you. You'll make it good. You won't hurt me."

"Shut up," Kon chokes, because yeah, Robin lies all the time, but that lie . . .

That's not fucking fair.

Not that lie.

"You're my best friend," Robin tells him softly, stroking his face again.

Kon wants to kill somebody. Ideally whoever fucked up Robin's brain on the mind control maybe-drugs, but maybe he won't be that picky, if it actually comes down to it.

"I don't even know what you look like without that mask on," he says. "Or your name. Or anything about you that isn't superhero shit."

"And you're my best friend," Robin repeats.

Kon might tell him how absolutely fucking depressing that sounds, but it's not like he has room to talk about having a non-hero life. That is pretty much the literal opposite of what he has room to talk about, in fact.

"You're my best friend too," is what he's stupid enough to say instead, even though Robin's just lying to him because he's all fucked up right now and would probably say any stupid thing that'd get him goddamn laid. "And I'm definitely not gonna hurt you."

"I know," Robin says, and smiles, and leans down to kiss him.

Kon lets him.

Then he gets his TTK around the grapple line wrapping him up and fucking snaps it around Robin's body while the other's distracted.

"Ah!" Robin hisses. Kon shoves him off his lap; keeps a grip on the grapple line and Robin both with his TTK. Keeps him still with his TTK.

He fucking hates that Robin smiled at him like that when it was a lie.

#timkon #dc robin #superboy #tim drake #kon el #young justice #rinfic #trashcat813 #dubious consent #wip: love potion number nine

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petersbaby · 1 year

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I’m kinda fucked up rn, I’m posting this anyways because I know my Gareth girlies are out there and I love you guys

7 minutes to forever - Gareth Emerson x Reader

HE IS AGED UP TO 18

Warnings: Gareth is a virgin, boner talk, male masturbation, smut, first time sex, mutual pining, awkwardness, I don’t like talking about condoms they gross me out but I tried to use one for once

It was a small party of sorts at Steve’s house, and of course Eddie was going to be there because that’s his boyfriend.

Eddie tried to invite all the people from the club, so his friends can meet Steve and Steve’s friends, hoping everyone could kind of merge and coexist but you and Gareth were the only two to show up out of the group.

The rest were just a few of Steve and Eddie’s mutual friends, including Robin. Lately, Eddie’s been on your ass about a certain something and he sees it as some sort of sign that you and Gareth both came.

“It’s been way too long. Just go fucking tell him.” Eddie begs you.

“Tell him fucking what, exactly??”

“That you literally want to fuck him. Have you seen this dude? Zero chance he’ll reject you. He’s such a virgin he’d probably cream his pants just from you speaking to him.”

“Eddie, EW.”

“I’m just saying.”

“That’s just it, I don’t wanna like… fucking corrupt him.”

“He wants you to corrupt him.”

“What??”

“Yep.” He shrugs. “He wants you too, it’s so PAINFULLY obvious to everyone except you guys. We’re all tired of hearing about it.” He gestures to the rest of your shared friends.

“No, I- I don’t believe you. He doesn’t like me, that’s why I haven’t fucking said anything.” You whisper, now.

“Alright.” Eddie announces a little louder than he needs to be, and gets up. He grabs your wrist and starts pulling you.

“No, no, no. Eddie, stop, I’m so serious.”

And now you were standing in front of him.

“Gareth, here. Talk to her.”

You start to try and run the other way, away from this confrontational situation, but Eddie catches you.

“Jesus Christ, it’s like taking care of literal children. If you won’t say it, I will. Y/N, Gareth has a huge crush on you. Gareth, Y/N is practically obsessed with you, won’t shut up about how cute you are.”

You put your head in your hands.

“There, I said it, now be normal human beings.” He says, patting you both on the shoulder and walking away, leaving just the two of you standing near the kitchen while everyone else was in the living room, in another world.

“I’m sorry. About him, uh, yeah. I don’t know why he did that.” You say quietly, looking at the ground.

“Was that true?”

“Maybe.”

“That’s a relief. I don’t think either of us were gonna say something.”

“Yeah, probably not.” You laugh.

“Okay, so we’re locked in here.” You sigh.

“Yeah..” he agrees.

Eddie basically shoved you two into a hall closet, yelling about “seven minutes in heaven,” which was a stupid game thing you thought only middle schoolers did. You protested, but he was very insistent, and you gave up. He was just fucking with you two, being extra mischievous tonight for some reason.

“You know you don’t have to listen to him, right? You don’t need to do anything, you know, sexually. It’s perfectly fine to not want to.”

“I- well, I want to.”

“Why don’t you then?”

“Don’t know. Nervous, I guess. Just really nervous.”

“Would it help if I made the first move?”

He nods.

You lean in quickly after that to press your lips against his. Even though he knew it was coming, it still shocked him, enough to jump a little a draw back.

“No? It’s okay.” You try to reassure him despite all the mixed signals you were getting from this boy.

“Yes. Please. I’m sorry about that.”

“You do it then. I know you can.” You smile.

This time he leans in, despite his anxiety screaming in his brain. It’s sweet, so sweet, and his lips are soft and gentle. You reach up to rest your hand on the side of his face, lightly rubbing your thumb against his cheek while you kiss him.

His hands find your waist and rest there while you try to let him lead so you don’t overwhelm him. But soon, he suddenly pushes you against the wall. Not too rough but not as gentle as he had been, but you liked it either way, draping your arms over his shoulders.

This was something you’d always wanted, to kiss him, and you never thought it would happen in a million years. You thought he probably thought of you as just one of the guys, but apparently he didn’t. He adored you, but he’d never say that to you out loud.

You make out with him to the point you almost can’t breathe but couldn’t bare breaking the kiss to get air. You fingers tangled in his soft, curly hair, accidentally pulling it a little forgetting that to some people that just hurts. He didn’t say anything, though, and you just continued running your fingers through his locks at the back of his head.

“Seven minutes are up!!” Eddie calls, walking towards the closet to free you.

“Shit, um..” Gareth looks down, which was a mistake because it made you look down too.

“Oh.”

He got a boner just from kissing you, but now that your time is up, he doesn’t know what to do.

“Sorry.” You whispered.

“It’s not your fault.” He laughed a little.

“So, what’d you two get up to in here?” Eddie asks, after swinging the door open. Gareth moves quickly past him and into the bathroom as swiftly as he can.

“You can’t just put people in closets, Eddie.”

“I did, though, so yeah. I can. Please tell me you at least kissed.”

“That is SO none of your business.”

“I’ll take that as a yes. Finally.” He exclaims the last word. You walk back with him to where everyone was gathered in the living room and once you sat down, you started daydreaming about what Gareth’s doing in there. You know what he’s doing, realistically, but you couldn’t stop imagining it.

In the bathroom, he stands in front of the sink with his dick in his hand, desperately fucking his fist just needing to get this out of his system. Instead of having to see his reflection in the mirror in front of him, he shut his eyes and thought of you.

God, all the things he wanted to do with you, to do to you. But just then, the way you kissed him deep, the way your fingers tangled in and pulled on his hair, the way he had you up against the wall. He finishes quickly thanks to these thoughts and mental images, release spurting out into the sink and the last bit of it dripping onto his hand.

He tries to catch his breath, washing his hands and cleaning up his mess, then looked at himself. He fixed his hair to look as normal as possible, cooled off, and went back to join everyone.

“Where the hell have you been?” Steve asks, only just noticing the boy’s absence.

“I had to use the bathroom, okay?” He answers defensively.

“Okay, jeez.” Steve said, raising his hands.

Gareth finds that his previous seat had been taken, and looks around nervously. You lock eyes with him and pat the place beside you on the couch. He smiles shyly and comes to sit.

As you all watched the movie, and no one was paying attention, you grabbed his hand and held it in yours, scooting closer. You leaned your head to rest on his shoulder, and he smiled secretly.

He made you feel all warm and happy on the inside, just like the perfect boy. That night really solidified your feelings for him, and you hope it did to him too. You thought about him a lot. Were you on his mind too?

Well, maybe tonight you could find out. DND was done and a couple of people were going back to Eddie’s for some beers or whatever alcohol his uncle had around. It was a Friday, after all.

When you got dropped off, it looked like everyone was already there. That meant he was too. He didn’t have a car, so he had to have ridden with somebody. Why did you have butterflies in your stomach at the thought of going into Eddie’s trailer? Since when is that a big deal?

You pushed it aside, the nervousness, and stepped in anyway.

“HEY, look who’s here. Thought you weren’t coming for a while there.” Eddie says.

“Sorry, I had to go home and change and everything, you know..”

“Alright, so… drinks. We’ve got two options. You ready?”

“So excited.” You say sarcastically.

“Beer or vodka.”

“Oh, god. Terrible. They’re both terrible. A beer, I guess.”

He laughs and gets you one. You head into the living room again where everyone is, taking a sip of the shitty and not very cold beer.

The couch is full so you take a seat on the floor, it looked like they were all passing a joint around. When it comes to you, you decline, giving it to the next person. The next person was Gareth, who also declined.

“You guys are total losers.” Eddie said, calling you out for not participating.

“I’m not a loser, I just don’t wanna be high.” Gareth says defensively.

“Yeah, me neither. Realistically, I don’t even want this beer. It’s gross, Eddie.”

“Well when none of us are 21 yet, you take what you can get.”

“I’m tired of sitting on the floor. Can me and Gare go hang out in your room?”

“Go have fun, you crazy kids. We’ll be in here, watching TV and talking VERY loudly.” Eddie wiggles his eyebrows at you.

“Whatever.” You roll your eyes, walking back to Eddie’s bedroom while Gareth follows and shuts the door behind him.

“Listen, I’m not trying to push anything on you. I didn’t want time alone to do that stuff, I just wanted to spend time with you.” You say, sitting down on the bed.

“Yeah, okay. I wanna spend time with you too.” He laughs. So cute.

“Cuddle?”

He laughs, blushing a little. “Sure.”

You lay down together, becoming intertwined, resting your head on his chest. You stay that way for a while, you could’ve stayed that way forever.

“Hey,” he says after about 15 minutes, and you lift up, resting on your elbow.

“Hm?”

“Can I kiss you again?”

“Of course.”

His lips come to meet yours and they melt together, and suddenly so do your bodies. They press against each other, radiating heat and warmth. He wants more, he wants more so bad, but he doesn’t want to push it and he also just doesn’t know how to ask. His hand is on your waist again, hovering slightly.

“Could I- would it be okay if-“ he starts.

“Gareth?”

“Yeah?” He asks anxiously.

“You can do literally whatever you want to me.” You assure him.

“Jesus Christ.”

Immediately hard as a rock, immediately entranced. It was true, in your defense, you liked him *so* much,

“I mean it.” You whisper.

His hand starts to move, ending up on your ass, squeezing tightly. It also pulled you impossibly closer to him, bodies pressed together. You put your hand on his face again, holding it sweetly but firmly while you kiss.

Your tongues explored each other’s mouths again, more familiar this time, and his hand moves up to squeeze one of your tits while the other arm props him up on his side. He needed more than this, he needed to feel your skin.

He slipped his hand into your sweater from the bottom, moving up until he felt your bare breast which he wasn’t fully expecting. He thought you were wearing something, anything underneath but you weren’t.

His cool fingers run over your hard nipples, making you gasp a bit, and so he goes farther and pinches one of them which makes you squeak in surprise. He just continued to feel your torso, hands running all over your stomach and chest and hips and tits.

You reached for the bottom hem of the sweater and pulled it off over your head, letting him be able to see what he’s doing, and his eyes grew wide as saucers. His eyes wandered shamelessly, curiously, all over, nearly burning a hole in you.

“You… you like them?” You ask, giggling a little bit. He was so beyond fascinated and you could see that.

“Yes, holy shit, yes.” He responds almost under his breath.

“Gare?”

“Hm?”

You take some of his soft locks in your hand and guide him down, wanting him to try sucking on or licking your nipples. He does, latching on quickly, expertly.

You start to melt now, holding onto his hair while you moan quietly. He climbs on top of you and brings his mouth to the other nipple, giving it the same attention. He gets the idea to move up to your neck, and starts kissing there.

This is where you totally fall apart, your weakness. Your noises encourage him to kiss your neck with more passion and fervor and you can feel his erection pressed against your thigh.

You reach down to grab onto it, palm it, and he sucks a particularly harsh mark onto your neck in the sweet spot when you do. You’ll definitely have a bruise, but you don’t mind at all.

“Fuck,” he breathes into your shoulder, stopped for a moment.

“You okay?” You check in, pushing him up so you can look him in the eyes.

“Think I’m just… god, I’m nervous. That’s so embarrassing.”

“No, that’s okay.” You reassure. “What do you want?”

He burns red. He’s not gonna be able to say it out loud himself.

“Do you want to have sex? Be honest.”

“Yes.”

“Good, because I do too. But Gare, we can stop at any moment. Just tell me, okay?”

“Okay.” He breathes.

You reach down to untie the strings on the waistband of your sweatpants and pull them off your body, leaving you in pink panties in front of him.

You feel him staring again, at the sight of you anxiously squeezing your legs together and waiting for him to make the next move.

You were so turned on it was unbelievable, with him have not even touched you there yet. You were sure you were soaking. He fumbles with his button and zipper, looking behind him.

“Yes, the door’s locked.”

“Oh. Good.” He half-laughed, because that is indeed what he was checking for. He takes his pants off and climbs back on top of you, only in his t shirt and boxers now.

He slots himself between your legs after you happily spread them for him. You could feel his cock so much better now, rock solid and a really nice size. He ruts his hips up against you, only the barriers of your respective underwear blocking the way.

He buries his face between your shoulder and neck, kissing on it again, and his hard cock continually presses against your cunt. You accidentally moan, a moan too loud for the situation, but you just have to hope no one heard it because you couldn’t help it.

“Shh,” he soothes, covering your mouth with his.

“Sorry,” you whisper, into the kiss, smiling. You can feel him smiling too.

“Should- can- what should we…”

“It’s up to you, remember? Whatever you want, however you wanna do it.” You remind him, trying to give him some confidence.

“Right. Can I take these off, then?” He asks, slipping his finger into the waistband of your panties.

“Yes, please do.”

You didn’t want to come off as desperate and impatient, but you were growing to be. It wasn’t his fault, though, you had to remind yourself he’s never done this before. He does, pulling the fabric down your legs and leaving you bare. Quickly after that, he pulls his own underwear off.

“I’m really wet, so whenever you’re ready, I’m ready.”

“Oh, shit, okay. Wait, don’t we need a condom?”

“Eddie should have some, if you want.”

You didn’t need one, being on birth control, but you wanted to do whatever made him more comfortable. He digs around in the nightstand and quickly finds some, taking one and putting it on.

“Okay.” He repeats, finally ready. You smile as if to tell him ‘go ahead’. You immediately learn that he isn’t familiar with easing into it, as he fills you up completely right away. This made you gasp, but luckily not too loud.

“Ohh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He groans.

“So good, you feel so good. Start moving, baby boy.”

That slipped out. That did slip out but he did not seem to mind the pet name at all, only listening to what you said and starting to thrust in and out.

You bite down on your bottom lip to keep quiet, only letting whimpers and soft moans out every now and then. You looked him in the eyes longingly, even though he was right there, and you felt yourself starting to love him in that moment.

He lets his dominant hand roam up to your throat, only to rest there. Thinking. You nod, reading his mind, answering his silent question and he squeezes gently. Soft but intoxicating. He continues to choke you with his big hand wrapped around your neck and leans down to kiss you again.

He finds a rhythm he likes, and starts to fuck you with more confidence. He wasn’t the biggest you’d ever had, but he still stretched you out and reached pretty deep inside.

Amazingly full of him, you still keep your noises quiet as much as you can. You couldn’t believe it, Gareth, you and Gareth were having sex. If the you from a month ago heard that, she would say “no fucking way.” But here you were. He wasn’t being super vocal, so you only hoped he felt good too. Damn, it would be nice to hear him though.

“Still okay?” You ask.

“The best.” He replies, and you smile.

He moves his hand from your throat back to fondling your breast, other one holding up his body weight over you.

He ends up getting quite aggressive while chasing his high, slamming into you quickly and filling the room with the sounds of sex. You think back to what Eddie said about watching TV and talking loudly and you stop worrying about that.

You were close, walls fluttering around him, but you knew you most likely wouldn’t get to finish. You’d just do it yourself later when you got home. The memory of this will be more than enough to masturbate to for a really long time, you think.

Coincidentally, he starts getting sloppy, thrusting haphazardly and clearly searching for something. Determined, he soon found it, cock twitching inside of you as he filled the condom and let out a long string of curse words and groans when he came.

He once again leant forward, resting his head on your shoulder for a moment. Neither of you wanted to move, and the pressure of him on top of you was so comforting, but eventually he had to.

Once all was done, you lay together, just as you had started out.

“Do you… like, actually like me?” He asks, head turning to you.

“No shit, Gareth. Yes, I like you.” You say sarcastically. You hope it didn’t come out mean. Thankfully it didn’t, because he laughed.

“So, you can totally tell me to fuck off if this is stupid, but… do you want to be together? You and me? Or is that stupid-“

You shut him up with a kiss, because he would’ve rambled on forever and you already had the answer.

“Yes. I’d like that.” You smile.

“Oh, okay. Cool, cool.” He laughs, feeling a huge weight off his shoulders. You melt into his arms, but you get interrupted when he suddenly realizes something.

“Oh, shit. I’m terrible.” He says, out of nowhere.

“You are not. Why?”

“You were supposed to… finish….too. You didn’t- I did something wrong.” He says, covering his face with his hands.

“I don’t care about that. It’s okay, I promise. If it bothers you that much, you can next time. I’ll help you.”

“Next time…” he repeats idly.

“Yeah? I just kinda assumed there’d be a next time..”

“Yes. No, you’re right, there will be. I just liked the sound of that.”

#gareth emerson x reader #gareth x reader #gareth smut #gareth emerson imagine #gareth emerson x y/n #gareth emerson smut #gareth the great #gareth stranger things #gareth emerson #gareth emerson fanfic #stranger things smut

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katemagic · 4 months

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okay once again time for some cherry magic th thoughts lmao but I'm thinking about the show's emphasis on comfort and how it's really interesting in the context of a character whose main deal (so far) is being in unrequited love with achi

bc I think it's so easy to get swept up in how we do hear karan's thoughts and therefore specifically how a;ldkfja;lkds wild his behavior is re: achi (researching cakes for a month!! buying bespoke pajamas for achi to wear at some point!! perfecting cooking eggs to make him breakfast one day!!) that it's sometimes hard to remember that, at least at this point in the story, if we remove all that and just look at his actual behavior towards achi he really.... isn't being intense or weird at all? what makes achi uncomfortable isn't karan's behavior in and of itself, it's that he knows the intention behind it which, yes, admittedly is very intense and uhaul-y

but it really is only when achi hears something he shouldn't that he feels that discomfort. like for example in this week's episode, achi reflects at the start on how he's getting comfortable with karan and feeling really happy in his presence (and we as the viewer can interpret that he's becoming aware and comfortable with liking him romantically, even if he says in that scene that he's not really sure what his feelings fully mean yet) but when he hears karan like "ah married life <3", THAT'S when he freaks out and puts distance between them. which makes sense looking at it from achi's perspective and understanding that his brain is a Complex Space (and I have additional thoughts about achi's perspective on events lmao that I should probably put in a different post) and also understanding like... it is an intense thing!! karan has a lot of intense feelings given they have not even been on a date yet and literally seem to have even only started regularly speaking recently al;jdksk;lad but it's also not something achi is supposed to know, because karan ISN'T actually being forward with him about his feelings at all with him or, IMO, crossing any lines

like the reason karan invites achi to stay with him at the end of ep 1 isn't motivated by anything sinister- we see him thinking in his head like "it'll probably take him an hour to get home, then he has to shower, and he won't get a good night's sleep" and that's why he asks him. he literally even treats saying goodnight to achi and lowering his sleep mask as some kind of transgression to be forgiven? like at every single turn in the show he is so worried about making achi uncomfortable and feels immense guilt over it when he perceives that he has made achi uncomfortable- we don't see his thoughts when they're directed to kiss during the game at the restaurant, but he doesn't look particularly thrilled (bless tay tawan for his perfect unreadable karan expressions) and he stops it as soon as he can tell achi is afraid (and says "please excuse me" in his head before kissing achi's forehead instead). he even feels guilty for defending achi against the guys trying to attack him in episode 3, chastising himself for inserting himself into achi's business and, again, for making him uncomfortable. in episode 5, he sees how he's being jealous and unfair and, again, immediately chastises himself for thinking those thoughts. while doing my ~research for this post I truly was kind of shocked at how frequently karan uses the word uncomfortable to talk about how he perceives himself as making achi feel, and it's a really sad aspect to the show, but also very interesting one

...alright this is long let me put the rest under a cut lmao

like I think it's a really fascinating thing about his character, that he does really care about achi's comfort beyond all else and is CONSTANTLY beating himself up when he feels he's crossed a line. after the kiss dare thing which literally is in no way his fault, he feels awful about how scared achi looked and says that he's the person who makes achi feel the most uncomfortable, and apologizes in his head to achi for falling for him because if he hadn't, achi wouldn't be uncomfortable, and like... that is so fucking sad!!! he's literally punishing himself for his thoughts that he isn't even acting on and the love he feels that he can't control. and honestly I am fascinated by the show including him saying "no guy would be comfortable kissing another guy" in the rooftop scene after the game- it's clearly a way to make the situation less weird and sort of give achi an out, IMO, to not have to discuss it or make it a thing like yeah!! of course no guy would want to do that!! but it is interesting in terms of the show not shying away from homophobia being a thing (and I have a LOT of thoughts about how a lot of karan's reaction to his feelings and behaviors towards achi and how extremely cautious he is could be read as having to do with internalized homophobia but this is already SO long lmao) and also how, again, he emphasizes comfort in his response

but I think the thing that is extremely sweet is that despite alllllll of achi's reservations and insecurities and stresses in the start w/r/t karan's feelings for him, when he hears karan feeling awful about making achi uncomfortable at the end of ep 2, he tells him about his inexperience and explicitly tells him that he isn't uncomfortable with the idea of kissing him. he admits something that he at the very least thinks makes him Uncool to the person he thinks is the most perfect guy in the world just because it clearly feels so wrong to him that karan feels guilt over something he shouldn't feel guilty for, because I do think on some level achi does realize that what's making him uncomfortable isn't really anything outward that karan is doing. at the end of episode 3 when karan puts distance between them by not sitting by him on the bus, achi again recognizes that karan's doing it because he thinks he's made achi uncomfortable, contemplates whether he IS actually uncomfortable, and realizes that he isn't. that he's actually very happy that karan sees him and cares for him and views him in this incredibly loving light that achi doesn't view himself. and so, similar to the end of episode 2, he takes a step towards him and tells karan to sit by him and they have that whole lovely moment, and I think this shows a lot of bravery on achi's part too, and a lot of care for him as well. achi is genuinely the person who makes the most moves which is FASCINATING to me.

I could go On and On but there's just this wonderful repeated emphasis on both of their parts to not want to make each other feel bad or uncomfortable and doing all of these little things to take care of each other, and how they're both being very brave despite having reasons not to be because they care about each other that much, and that is simply very beautiful to me and I feel a lot of things about it!!

#cherry magic th #cherry magic th meta #I am so sorry for how long this is #karanachi #disclaimer as always that I am spoiler free and if I’m completely off base DONT TELL ME YET JDJDJDJ

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talaok · 1 year

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I’ve dreamed of this (pt. VII)

Summary: You are a part of the BAU, and for the longest time you and Dr. Spencer Reid had been best of friends, even when it was clear to everyone else, and at times to you, that you should be more than that, and when something almost happens on a night out with the team, everything is destined to change.

This is a double pov story (each chapter will be alternated between y/n's and spencer's pov)

Chapter summary: You can't sleep and you find yourself turning to spencer for help.

warnings: SMUT(unprotected penetrative sex)

previous part | next part

y/n

"so how's bed rest?"

You groaned loudly into the phone "awful"

Emily chuckled "you're dramatic"

"I am most definitely not" you corrected her "this is torture. I have nothing to do"

"watch a movie"

"already did that"

"read?"

"I finished the book you lent me the other day just this morning"

"Are you kidding me?"

"no Emily" you sighed, " I think I'm going crazy"

she laughed now "y/n, just relax you deserve it"

"I don't like to relax"

"Well, you better get used to it, because Hotch said he doesn't wanna see you even ten feet from this building for at least another week"

You slapped a hand down your whole face, rolling your eyes.

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

"that's a shitty move"

You could hear her smiling "oh yes, how dare he?" she made fun of you

"yes. How does he dare?"

She chuckled again "listen, I've gotta get back to work, just take some time for yourself and rest, you don't have to be doing something, you can just let your mind wander I don't know. You can do it y/n, I'm sure"

You sighed "alright"

"bye, call me if you need anything"

"thanks,bye"

you tossed your phone on the other side of the couch.

Yeah, thanks for nothing.

-let your mind wander?-

that's exactly what you'd been fighting for the past two days.

You had spent every single possible moment focusing on something, busying your mind with movies and Instagram and stupid books, and even that didn't always work, the exact moment your brain turned on again, you were fucked.

You would see his eyes,

you could feel his hands,

the blade cutting your skin open,

and you couldn't feel the pain, but you could still feel the fear.

fear so strong, so powerful,

that froze you,

impeded you to do anything else if not relieve the whole thing, frame by frame, every little detail impressed in the back of your mind and ready to float back up the moment you expected it less.

It was a nightmare,

literally,

a waking nightmare,

being afraid of your own mind, of your own memories,

it is terrifying and exhausting at the same time.

Even sleep wasn't an option,

last night had been possibly the worst of your life,

the moment you had turned the lights off he was back,

lurking over you like a famished predator,

and you were back on the table, petrified.

So you had tried,

you tried everything you could think of,

counting sheep,

thinking about happy things,

listening to relaxing music,

everything,

and still,

he remained.

and so you had given up, turning the lights on and mindlessly feeding your corrupted brain whatever the tv offered.

And if you thought the worst had passed,

you were extremely wrong,

because now, in addition to being exhausted but not being able to sleep, you had spent the whole day slowly realizing that it wasn't getting any better.

You, weren't getting any better.

Because as much as you tried to keep busy, you never really were.

Your brain was always there, willing or unwilling, only one thing had occupied it,

only him,

and you couldn't do anything about it.

__ __ __

Just shut up

please shut up

please

shut down

just-

please

Why isn't there a fucking switch?

This would all be so easy if there were,

just tick, and voila,

you can fucking sleep again,

like a normal human being,

everything's fixed,

but instead no

no of course not

this stupid body of yours doesn't even have a fucking brain switch because that would make it too easy right?

just too fucking easy

instead, I bet it likes to watch you toss and turn like a fucking idiot.

You were angry.

You know that moment when you've not been able to sleep for so long that the frustration turns into outright anger?

That's where you were at the moment.

It was only midnight,

and it felt like two years had passed by since you laid down.

You were holding your gun under the pillow,

not very safe, I know,

but he was there,

somewhere,

even if he was dead,

you could feel him,

and this time you were gonna be ready,

but being ready wasn't gonna do anything if you died of lack of sleep first.

You didn't know what to do,

you were completely impotent,

This was the third night in a row this was happening,

and you were exhausted, and scared,

mostly scared.

Only one of those nights you had been able to sleep,

or even just close your eyes for more than 10 seconds,

only at the hotel,

only with Spencer.

You remembered the exact moment in which he had shut off the lights, you recalled that as the silence filled your ears, images filled your eyes, your heart sinking.

You didn't know how,

but you just knew that if he had been closer to you, you would have felt better, safer.

And so you had asked him, and of course, he said yes,

because he's Spence,

because he cares for you,

and you care for him,

And in mere seconds, you had fallen asleep,

your head on his chest, and your hand gripping his.

But now he wasn't here,

you were all alone,

not safe,

but afraid again.

You turned in the bed again with a sigh, and as you faced the nightstand, the lamp, the pen, the phone, the keys on it, an idea came to mind.

A stupid one,

but seemingly the only one.

__ __ __

"hi"

"y/n? What happened?" he immediately reached for you to guide you in, shutting the door and turning to you with a worried expression.

"Nothing happened don't worry"

He didn't say anything, but his questioning expression urged you to continue

"I-"

god this was stupid

"I couldn't sleep"

"oh" you could see the shift in his stance, as relief washed over his features, his eyes now sweet and understanding, and his lips up in a sad smile "I'm sorry"

"I know it's weird to come here in the middle of the night but-" you swallowed thickly, looking behind him at the overfilled bookshelves

"Hey it's me" he stepped closer to you "you can tell me"

You smiled weakly up at him "I have not been able to sleep since the night at the hotel"

"y/n" he hummed softly, stroking your arm

"I'm sorry Spence, really"

"for what?"

You scoffed "For coming here and waking you up and-"

"y/n" his eyes were honest "it's nothing" he smiled "you can wake me up whenever you want if you need it, you know that"

Your heart fluttered, and you couldn't help but throw your arms around his neck and hug him tightly, your head hidden in his warm chest as his hands uncertainly found your back.

"thank you" you whispered, looking up at him

"f-for what?" he blushed

"for being you"

__ __ __

The warmth of his chest mixed with the low thuds of his heartbeat was hypnotizing.

You were wrapped around him, your leg bent over his, and your hands on his abdomen.

He had even gently, and most definitely hesitantly, placed one of his hands on your waist, holding you in place, but you could still feel his quick breaths and the way his body hadn't fully un-stiffened from the moment you had first touched him.

You could feel he was holding back, trying to stay still and breathe normally with very little to no results.

And you were feeling bad about it, because it wasn't fair that this was for you the only moment of comfort you had experienced in the past few days, and for him, an actual nightmare.

"Spence" you whispered

"yes?" his voice was hoarse

"is this ok?"

He frowned "y-yes why?"

"I just-" you bit your lip "I just wanted to make sure you're comfortable too" you explained "You're not really a fan of physical contact"

He laughed softly "no, I'm not," he said "but I like this"

"Are you sure?" you murmured "you seem very- stiff"

The red on his cheeks brightened "I'm sure" he said, and before he could stop himself he also blurted out "I'm just a little- nervous"

You frowned "why?"

You could see the regret in his eyes as he sighed "you're just" his pupils were frantically dancing all over the room, purposefully avoiding yours "you're just really beautiful" he said "And I'm not really- I'm not really used to this"

"oh"

but you're just friends, right?

so why is he nervous?

he shouldn't be nervous,

and your heart shouldn't be beating so fast.

"that's sweet" you whispered truthfully

"and pathetic" he chuckled bitterly

"no it's not" you propped a hand on the bed to lean up and fully look at him

"you don't have to lie Y/n" he sighed "I know I'm kind of..." he trailed off

"What?"

"I'm kind of a loser"

Your heart sank

"Spence" you reached to stoke his cheek "you're kidding right?" you smiled incredulously "You're the most amazing person I've ever met, in so many diffrent ways" you whispered, your thumb tracing patterns on his cheekbone "you're a genius Spence" you smiled "my genius"

The warm light the lamp was emitting shined only on the right side of his face, but it was as if his whole face had lit up once you spoke.

"y-your genius?"

You laughed softly "you like that?"

He smiled widely "I do"

Your hand was still on him, and as the room fell silent, as he looked straight at you with those big brown eyes, you suddenly became very aware of it, and of how natural it felt, to just reach for him and soothe him like it was an everyday thing.

"and by the way" you smirked slightly "you're beautiful too"

He wet his lips "t-thank you" he said "but I can't even compete with you"

You rolled your eyes playfully "oh shut up"

"Why?" he murmured,

Because I wanna kiss you

and without giving yourself enough time to think about it, about why you shouldn't and why this is wrong and you have spent so much time fighting it just to fuck it all up now, you crashed your lips with his, taking him by surprise, as it took him a moment to register what was happening before starting to reciprocate,

but the moment he did, everything felt right,

as his soft, tortured lips melted with yours you felt light, like you were floating in the air, holding tighly onto him, as the rest of the world caved in.

You kept kissing him as you got on top of him,

you didn't want to break the kiss,

you didn't want to have time to regret this,

you just wanted to do what felt right, and if it was a mistake, so be it.

Your knees were on each side of his waist and your hands were all up in his face, one on his cheek and the other one messing up his hair.

You could already feel something hard press against your core, and a little moan escaped Spence's throat once you ground on it.

His hands came up to your waist, and you smiled into the kiss, leaning away for just a moment, and just as you had predicted a wave of uncertainty hit you hard.

"spence-" you whispered

"I know" he nodded,

You bit your lip "we shouldn't-"

His now saddened eyes scanned your whole face, but something still sparked behind them "I know we shouldn't y/n" he was trying really hard not to let his desperation come through "but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want this" he smiled softly "a lot" he gulped "for a very long time"

You couldn't help but smile too as you bent down again, ghosting his lips "I want this too Spence" you whispered "a lot" and once again you didn't have time to think before your lips were on his again, molding and dancing together, making your stomach twist and turn in excitement.

Another breathy whimper left his mouth once you started kissing him down his neck, slowly making your way to the hem of his shirt, and looking up at him for a moment, before easing him out of it.

Your hands immediately went to his firm chest, exploring all of it as your mouth left quick kisses wherever it could.

Only the sound of your mouth on him and of the ragged breaths fleeing his mouth filled the thick air.

"f-fuck" he moaned lowly once you ground on his lap again, making you grin with excitement.

"I know" you whispered, reaching to stroke his cock through his pajama pants, making his whimper again, and this time, it was him that took you by surprise once his hand went to the back of your neck, bringing your mouth onto his once again, but this time, he pushed his tongue between your lips, making you moan softly into his mouth.

He was desperate, you could feel it,

you could feel it by the way he was gripping your neck, by the way his mouth was so eager to melt with yours, and by the way his hips were now grinding up against yours on their own accord.

You couldn't wait anymore as you leaned away to pull your shirt off.

His eyes immediately fell to your bandages again, and his feature softened before you undid for the clasp of your bra, and as much as what had happened to you haunted him, he couldn't help but stare shamelessly at your tits.

"you can touch" you whispered, but he didn't move, so you guided him, taking a hand that was on your waist and placing it on your boob.

He was quick to grope it, and as if he had woken up from a trance, he brought his other hand to your tits too, stroking and grabbing enthusiastically.

"god you're beautiful y/n" he made you blush " so beautiful"

You bent down to give him another quick kiss in response before leaning away to get off of him, making him whine.

You laughed softly "just a sec," you said, before shuffling out of your pants and panties, and at that, Spencer was more than eager to do just the same.

"you're cute" you kissed him once you got on top of him again, his hard cock now grazing against your core in the most wonderful way.

"you're perfect" he breathed out, his hands finding your tits once again.

He leaned up to catch your lips in another heated and messy kiss, and you seized the opportunity to let one of your hands travel down to his cock, guiding it at your entrance, and slowly sinking down on it.

A mixture of your moans combined with his groans filled the dimly lit room.

"you feel so good baby" you cried out, as he stretched you out incredibly.

"you-" he struggled to speak "you too," he said, and you lifted yourself completely off his dick just to slam back on it, making both of you moan loudly.

"you're so- you're so tight- fuck"

"And you're so big" you smiled mindlessly as you grabbed his shoulder for leverage and started to develop a quick pace, soon making the room fill with the sound of your skin slapping with his, and rendering him unable to talk, if not to produce cute little strained noises.

You were moaning loudly, whispering his name every time he hit that spot inside of you that made your eyes roll to the back of your head, while one of his hands was on your tit and the other one on your waist, moving with you.

"fuck Spence" you breathed out, as a shock of pleasure coursed through you, and you didn't even notice as his hand left your waist and went to your clit, until you felt his fingers circle it, making you gasp audibly.

He grinned and you smirked amused "You know what you're doing doctor" you commented

"I know a thing or two" he beamed, as his fingers continued their dance, forcing you to bite down your lip to silence your pathetic cries.

He was staring at you, his eyes drinking up the masterpiece in front of him.

Never in a million years had he thought this was gonna happen, and still, there you were, moaning his name on top of him, and it was making you both more confident and self-conscious, having him eye you like that, but you didn't give it too much of a thought as you did the same, admiring his beauty from above him.

The knot in your stomach was tightening "s-shit baby" you whimpered "I'm coming Spence" you said out of breath

"me too" he whispered "I'm coming"

"fuck" you moaned "come with me baby" you bent down to kiss him sweetly

"Where?" he asked breathlessly

"Inside"

"i-inside?"

"inside baby" you kissed him again, and as you sank down on him once more, the knot in your stomach broke, making thousands of little fireworks explode inside of you as you moaned his name over and over like a mantra.

He followed just after, groaning lowly as he shot his hot cum deep inside of you.

You dropped your head onto his shoulder once you were done, grinning widely onto it.

You had really done it.

You had spent years fantasizing, dreading, and dreaming of this moment and there it was.

Better than you could have ever imagined.

You left a quick kiss on his peck before easing yourself off of him, hissing at the feeling of being so empty.

You laid down next to him, and instinctively both of you turned to look at the other, finding on each other's faces the same incredulous smile.

You kissed him again.

It was like a drug.

the best kind,

him.

"that thing you said about having wanted this for a long time?" you found yourself asking "did you really mean it?"

He raised his eyebrows, his eyes dropping a moment before coming back up to yours "y/n" he said "I don't think I've ever meant anything more"

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taglist (if you want to be added comment or write to me.)

@jazzerbelle14 @nerdory10 @milivanili99 @cyb3rdollq @ssababe @lou-the-confused-bisexual @simpforspence @loviseamms @gojutsu @youbrokemelikeallyourpromises @baucriminalsstuff @fall-myriad @twelfthnightorwhatyouwill1998 @eevee0722 @simrah1012 @queenofnothing07 @ashray07 @wrenreid @moonmark98 @iloveyou-iknoww @swxxtsour @donttamethebeasts @s1errasposts @the-sun-died-out @vthe @cherrypie5 @hellooitsrose @soundsprettyhumantome @rrrogertaylor @lilicy-secrets @dankfarrick29 @lex13cm @zuckker-blog @munson1968 @maybanksluvr @halsteadssneakylink @yourbloodyqueen @orangebitchsworld @melinewton54 @mushy-mushroom04 @killing-gremlin @jaywinchestersalvatore @fluffy-bnny @r5court @usuallyunlikelyfox @bella-columbus @ineedsomezzz @dellalyra @classiclitfreak @reidingspence @l1lacthec0lor @jaywinchestersalvatore @mee22022

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #dr spencer reid #spencer reid Criminal Minds #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fluff #Smut #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #criminal minds x reader #Criminal Minds #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fic

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cocksucker6000 · 2 years

Note

👀 I stumbled across your blog and hi, hello, I love your writing! May I please request a Childe x transmasc reader smut, where the reader loves being called pet names? (Ex: pretty boy, good boy, bunny) preferable bottom reader, if it strikes your fancy! 😊 headcanons, drabbles, a fic, whichever you prefer to write!

of course you can! you are so so large brain, this has literally been on my mind for so long thank you so so much for requesting <3

sub transmasc reader + dom childe

no feminine terms used for reader’s genitalia

a/n ;; CS. here, again thank you so much for requesting, i’m serious when i say this is one of the scenarios i have been thinking SO HRD about all the time LMAO, i really hope you enjoy <33 this has a supper sappy ending it sounds so cringey AHAHHA

your boyfriend childe’s pretty vocal during sex, so he’s always calling you little nicknames. he knows that you love it, too, which gives him all the more reason to keep doing it.

he’d do anything to spoil his boyfriend and make him feel comfortable—sucking him off? he’ll tangle his calloused fingers in your hair, “good boy”—he’d chant nearly ritualistic praises every few seconds. it’s the same deal for everything else, too; you loved it and he knew it. and today was no different.

childe sat straddling one of your thighs, knee pressed into your clothed crotch. he mused, watching you desperately squirm under him as his hands trailed up the loose t-shirt you wore to rest on your waist. “look at yourself, baby boy.”

he angled himself to hit a different position with his joint pressed into your boxers.

“childe, c-come on…” you whined, as he chuckled.

“something the matter, ‘bunny?”

you huffed at him.

he got your memo, letting another airy chuckle fall from his lips. “i’m sorry. just one kiss and i’ll give you what you want, yeah?”

“so persistent…” you muttered mindlessly, face burning from the nickname he’d previously used. he pressed his lips against your’s; running his nimble fingers down your waist. you held a hand on his shoulder. he pulled away, leaving you panting and needy—bringing one hand up to hold your chin, he placed sloppy, smiley kisses over the stretch of your jawline and down your neck. “good boy.”

—and there it was. the fatal shot. you bucked your hips against his leg, the whine that left your mouth was quiet and needy. your boyfriend’s hand dipped below the hem of your boxers, rubbing circles on the inner of your thigh. exactly shy of where you really needed him.

“you like that, huh? you like being called my good boy? you’re so good for me, yeah.” he stole one last kiss from your lips, which you happily obliged to give him.

“you’re soaked, baby boy.” bringing one hand to thumb at your folds, he sighed in contempt. “it’s adorable.” now kissing along your collarbone, he gently slid your boxers off, sliding in his index and middle finger without warning.

“nnnhhhaa…” you mewled, he smiled small against your neck. “feel alright?”

“y-yeah.”

his smile widened, bringing his face down to kiss along your stomach, hand gently holding your shirt up. he kissed your hips, v-line, hipbones, thighs—any inch of skin he could find—leaving small bites and hickies as he went.

“those are gonna—they’re gonna stay, you know…mnn!” he interrupted you by prodding at a particularly sensitive spot inside of you. you weren’t sure how he knew exactly where it was.

“i know, bunny. and i’ll be the only one to see them.” he had a point. curling his fingers over and over, his head finally reached so that his chin brushed over the fingers he had plunged inside of you, giving you a lick up the slit of your dick. you covered your mouth.

“c’mon, let me hear you, or i’ll stop.” you knew he was only bluffing, though still obeyed. “good boy.”

there it was again. he licked another strip upwards, somehow prodding at that same spot again, making you squirm. you stared down at him with those glossy, ‘fuck me’ eyes, tugging his hair up so the teasing bastard could meet your gaze. he smiled at the sight. “ready for more, pretty boy?”

“g-gods…” you mumbled, holding a trembling hand on his arm as he moved further up your body. time seemed to slow as he fumbled with his pants, eventually getting them off and giving his previously strained cock a few pumps, groaning softly to himself. you kept your eyes averted from his, fixated especially below the belt. you felt like you could drool just at the sight of him. he figured the two of you were prepped enough—wrapping his arms around you for yet another sloppy, needy kiss. his cock caught deliciously on your entrance, you suppressed the urge to buck your hips up onto it.

childe sighed desperately. “you really are gorgeous.” he rubbed soft circles onto your hip to distract you from the stretch as he bottomed out. “my pretty boy, yeah? my good boy.” you moaned, he rested perfectly against every spot inside of you so well. “can i move?”

“hhaah. please do.”

panting softly, he began to roll his hips into your’s, hitting that sweet spot inside of you with vigor.

“hh-hhngg…i—i love you…” you choked out, he groaned and buried himself in your neck.

“i love you too.”

#childe x reader #childe x male reader #tartaglia x reader #tartaglia x male reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x male reader #genshin impact x male reader #genshin impact x trans reader #trans male reader #transmasc reader #bottom male reader #bottom trans reader #childe x bottom male reader

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sjhhemmings · 4 months

Text

Evermore pt. 4

greg ‘mouse’ gerwitz x cassie voight OC

A/N: so there's going to be a little time jump to season 3 episode 11 of Chicago Fire where canonically Sylvie and Peter get kidnapped, Im thinking it’s still in about season 1 of PD though. I'm gonna change it a little bit so I hope it doesn't get too confusing...i'm going to try and stay as canon as possible but we'll see. Also don’t hate me for the timeline because I’m lowkey just as confused. (also idk why the spacing is weird, but i gave up trying to fix it.)

warnings: kidnapping, slight ptsd, swearing, violence.

word count: 4920

wattpad: sjhhoran

It's now been 3 months since Cassie's father, Hank Voight, has been out of prison.

Things at the firehouse have finally started to calm down, except for the fact that Gabby Dawson has now become a firefighter leaving Cassie on ambulance 61 with either Chout or McAuley until they find a replacement.

Despite Gabby's multiple attempts to assure Cassie it wasn't her fault that Gabby left, Cassie doesn't really believe it. However, Cassie is still proud of Gabby for pursuing her dreams either way. The talk they had a few weeks ago to clear the air and any hard feelings was...rough. To say the least.

Jay also took the job in intelligence under Cassie’s father so that was exciting.

Cassie is still shocked that Gabby didn't want to date Jay, he's a great guy. Not that Cassie would ever go for him, she's still his #1 wingman. Or woman. Wing-woman.

"Alright, everyone settle down. This is Sylvie Brett, she will be the new paramedic under Cassie." Boden announces at the morning briefing. Cassie sent a small wave to the new paramedic from where she was standing at the back of the room.

"Cassie is your PIC, anything you say or do on the job must go through her. Understand?"

"Yes sir." Sylvie said at the front of the room next to Chief Boden.

"Okay. That's all. Go out there, do your jobs and do ‘em good." Boden then said leaving the room before everyone else.

"Hi," Cassie said now walking over to her new partner.

"Hey, it's so nice to meet you, i've heard a lot." Sylvie said shaking the other paramedics hand.

"Thanks, it's nice to meet you too. I'm gonna say we should head over to the ambo to check inventory, is there anything you want to let me know before we start?" Cassie asks making Sylvie give her a questionable look.

"Yeah that sounds good. Would you be able to clarify what you mean by-"

"Ah, sorry. It's a force of habit with the rotators. I've been stuck with Chout for the last week and he's very...excited…like at all times. Then there was McAuley who was literally the embodiment of Debby Downer, I don't know I guess I was just asking if you were going to have some odd, personality thing that I would have to get used to." Cassie said chuckling as they make their way to the apparatus.

"Okay yeah that makes sense. Um I hope I don't have any personality thing, but if I do please feel free to let me know." Sylvie said chuckling nervously.

Smiling at Sylvie's innocence Cassie felt like they were going to be good partners.

"No complaints so far, I like you Brett."

After a few shifts of working together, Cassie and Brett felt like they fell into a pretty nice rhythm. It felt natural how well they communicated and worked together.

At the end of the last shift however, Cassie was visited by a victim's family member. A patient she had treated when she briefly worked with Peter Mills before he eventually left to work at his family's restaurant. The patient had passed before they arrived at the hospital, and the father was more than upset with Mills. Something that Cassie had no control over.

"I need to speak with you," Cassie heard the all too familiar voice of Anthony Lullo called out.

The memory of meeting with Peter and Chief flashed through Cassie's brain where Peter had convinced both of them that Anthony wouldn't be a problem anymore.

"Looking back I'm glad that I didn't file a police report on him. He's in deep grief, and he deserves a pass on this." Peter's voice flashed through Cassie's mind.

Deserved a pass her ass, but she wasn't going to undermine Peter. He trusted his gut, and she trusted him. So, here they were.

"Mr. Lullo, please, I'm sorry for what happened but I really need to get home." Cassie said as she walked past him to her car.

"You're going to regret that." Is all Mr. Lullo responded with before leaving.

"Hey Chief, I just wanted to let you know that Anthony Lullo made another visit to the firehouse after last shift. He said he needed to speak with me and when I continued walking saying I need to get to home he mumbled something under his breath. I don't really know what he said, but just thought you would like to know." Cassie said making a pit stop to Boden's office who gave her a reassuring nod before she left.

"Who's Anthony Lullo?" Sylvie asked when her and Cassie were doing inventory for the ambulance.

"How do you know who that is?" Cassie asked confused.

"He approached me when I was coming into work today, told me to tell you that you need to talk to him. I don't know, I was just confused." Sylvie said defensively not really trying to get on Cassie's bad side already.

Taking a deep breath Cassie looked at Sylvie.

"Anthony Lullo was a patient's father that ended up coding before we made it to the hospital. I haven't seen him in a few weeks but it was starting to become harassment with how much he was coming around the firehouse. He ended up threatening my old partner, Peter Mills. It was this whole situation. I don't know why he's back though." Cassie admitted making Sylvie nod her head in understanding.

A silence fell through the girls as they finished looking through the medications in the ambulance before a call came through the intercom.

"Ambulance 61. Injuries from a fall. 815 South Nebraska."

"That's around the corner," Cassie said as they hopped out from the back.

"Can I drive?" Sylvie asked making Cassie chuckle.

"Sure."

Pulling up to the scene, Cassie and Sylvie immediately jump out looking for the victim. When they finally found him on the side of the street Cassie looked at Sylvie.

"Where'd he fall from?" Cassie asked as she looked at their surroundings, no visible places for a fall.

"You fell, sir?" Sylvie asked as she was putting her gloves on.

"My legs, my legs!" The victim screamed.

"Okay, can you take some deep breaths for me?" Sylvie asked as she began examining him.

Cassie still looking around as to what could've caused this injury, she saw a dump truck down the road. Uncovering blanket from the man's legs she sighed.

"He didn't fall. He was run over." She said agitatedly getting up and calling into her radio.

Once they finished doing what they could, they strapped the now unconscious patient onto the gurney

"He passed out from the blood loss. Let's get him to Chicago Med." Cassie said as they were working on getting him into the ambulance.

Quickly grabbing both the girl’s attention, a car pulled into the alley blocking in the ambulance.

"Who's that?" Sylvie asked with Cassie immediately recognizing the car.

*6 hours later*

"Halstead. Thanks for coming. Nice to have somebody we could trust on this." Matt says greeting the detective.

"Absolutely. Still no word from your paramedics?"

"No."

"Dumb question, anybody try their cells?"

"Yeah. No answer."

Once the pair find their way to the ambulance Jay immediately starts getting suspicious.

"Were they dispatched to this location?" He asks, heart dropping at the realization.

"Yeah."

"This could've been a set up." He said turning around and immediately seeing the hula dancer on the dashboard of the ambulance. The one he got as a gift for Cassie.

"What the hell happened here..." He mutters.

*6 hours earlier.*

"Hey, guys, we got a medical emergency here. We're gonna need you to move the vehicle." Cassie announces at the men who just stepped out of their car.

"Hands in the air. Keep your mouths shut." One of the two say as they both raise their guns at the paramedics.

"Woah." Sylvie mutters earning a glance from Cassie.

"Turn around!" One of them shouts making the other instantly yell at him.

"Keep it down! Now turn around put your hands behind your back." He says more quietly turning Cassie roughly.

"This guy needs to get to the hospital!" Sylvie yells getting another glance from Cassie.

"Brett, Brett. Hey don't hurt her please." Cassie says as they make their way to the car away from the patient.

"What is this?!" Sylvie shrieks.

"This doesn't have to be messy, just do what we say." One of them says as they throw the girls into the car.

"Please, let her go. I'm the one that he wants!" Cassie yells.

"He? Who's he?" One of them says with a smirk slamming the door in their faces.

"Where are you taking us?" Cassie asks as one of the men starts patting her down in the backseat.

"Shut up!" The man says as he gets a little too grope-y.

"Where's your phone, hun?" The driver asks as he reaches over for Sylvie in the front seat.

"Left hand jacket pocket." Shes says quietly as he grabs it and chucks it out the window.

"God, why did I have to be stuck with the grabby one." Cassie says looking at the man with a gun to her head.

As he pushed it farther into her temple she winced at the familiar feeling.

"Look, Jason Lullo sustained fatal injuries long before we arrived at the scene!" Cassie says earning an eye roll from the driver.

"Don't know what you're talking about. Just keep quiet now." He says as he continues driving recklessly.

"You gonna kill us?" Cassie quietly asked as she looked the man in the eye through the rear view mirror.

"You know everything is that it?" He asks with a smirk.

"Brett." Cassie quietly says as she looks out the window.

"Quiet!" The man with her said as he shoved the gun farther into her head.

"Brett, brace yourself." Cassie says before head butting the gun out of the man's hand and kneeing him in the face. Quickly kicking him in the groin after, Cassie moved over in the seat she wasn't buckled into and kicked the driver in the side of the head. Keeping her foot against his throat, this caused the driver to spin the wheel uncontrollably, inevitably crashing into a random scrap yard and making contact with a trailer trapping them inside.

*6 hours later*

Eventually finding the car, Jay and Cruz immediately get out to check it out. The thoughts running through Jay's head have him trembling more than he ever has on any case he’s worked before.

"Hey, this is Detective Halstead of intelligence, I'm gonna need you to run an Illinois passenger tag." Jay says into his phone watching Cruz check the car.

"Halstead...We got nothing. Car's empty. Looks like everyone made it out." Cruz says making his way back to the Detective.

"This happened hours ago. If Lullo's got them, they're dead!" Cruz says spinning out.

"Don't assume anything." Jay says trying to cover up his anxiety so he doesn't freak Cruz out any more.

"The hematoma's recollecting!" Cassie says looking at the driver's wounds.

"I thought you fixed him!" The other man says pointing a gun at the two.

"He needs medical attention." Sylvie says with attitude.

"Isn't that your job!?"

"Hey, we're paramedics, not doctors. You need to get him to an ER now." Cassie shouts back.

"This is your fault anyway, with that smart-ass stunt. Fix him, or i'll put a bullet in your head." The man says pointing the gun at Cassie again.

"This lump on your buddy's neck is due to internal bleeding. As it grows it presses on his trachea and that's what's causing the difficulty in breathing. It's only going to get worse!" Cassie says back to the man.

"So cut it open again!"

"That's only a temporary fix!" Sylvie now says butting herself into the conversation.

"Look. He's going to die unless we get this bleed tied off. We need to get to the hospital." Cassie says to the gunman.

"Might as well waltz into a police station!" The gunman says turning away from them.

"No hospitals." The driver on the make shift table mutters.

As his phone starts ringing he hands it to the other gunman.

"Don't answer it. Not if we're giving him bad news." He says obviously in pain.

"C-can't you guys tie off the bleed?" The very stressed out gunman asks.

"No," Sylvie says but not before Cassie says maybe.

"What? Cassie that's surgery."

"Look, if we do this, will you let us go?" Cassie asks looking at the guy.

"Okay. Deal." The gunman says walking off as he answers the second phone call.

"So this is what we think Cassie and Brett were in?" Gabby says looking worriedly at the car Cruz and Jay found.

"Yeah." Matt says sorrowfully as he opens the very, very, torn up door.

"Jay." She says as Detective Halstead made his way over to where she was standing.

"Gabby." He greets back.

"We gotta find them." She says looking at Halstead.

"We're uh, we're trying." He says almost breaking.

"Guys, I got some blood here!" Severide yells out pointing at the driver seat.

"Okay, at least one occupant is injured. Maybe they didn't get too far.” Jay says taking a step back to think.

“Okay, come here, everyone. Now!" Jay yells gesturing at the surrounding cops and firefighters.

"I want a tight perimeter, I want a K-9 unit, and I want a door to door search of the entire neighborhood. If you see anything that you think might be out of place, I want to hear about it." He says sending them off to their assigned tasks.

"Jay." Gabby says approaching him again.

"Hm?"

"She's my friend too. We'll find her." She says squeezing his shoulder reassuringly getting a tight lipped nod in return.

"Knife." Cassie says taking the blade from Sylvie and pressing it to the driver's neck.

Quickly pulling a gun on her she takes a step back.

"Hey! If you want me to do this, set the gun down now." She shouts a little startled.

As the other gunman takes the gun from the driver's hand, he sets it on a nearby surface.

"Okay. This is going to hurt, a lot. But I'm gonna do it fast. Kay?" Cassie asks getting a nod.

As Cassie made the incision on the driver's neck, she quickly turns around to set the blade down and grab something to use as a clamp.

"Hey, hey, that was the easy part okay?" Cassie says coming back and looking at the incision as he passed out from the pain.

"Hey, hey! What the hell did you guys do, what happened to him!?" The gunman yelled earning glares from both the paramedics.

"He passed out from the pain." Sylvie said now looking back down at the patient.

"Clamp it right here." Sylvie said looking at Cassie as she pointed to his carotid artery.

"You do realize what that will do right?" Cassie whispers with wide eyes.

Glancing down at the bloody table, Sylvie wrote 'Let him die.' in the man's blood.

After deliberating for a few seconds, Cassie shakes her head no and clamps the bleed. Looking back at Brett who scribbled out the words, Cassie gave her a specific look.

"Why so quiet?" The gunman asked.

"I uh, I'm clamping it off now." Cassie says as she took the blade out of the exacto knife they had and handed it to Brett.

"Okay, we're going to need to find someone to suture him up but he should be fine. Cassie says stepping away.

"You. Come here." The gunman says grabbing Brett's arm and taking her across the room.

"Hey! Wait! We had a deal, I need her!" Cassie says yelling at the man.

"I need to make sure he's okay first." The gunman says as he zip ties Brett's hands together.

As the man starts waking up, Cassie finishes putting some gauze his wound.

"See? All good." Cassie says looking at him.

"We'll see." The gunman says.

"The deal was, we fix him up and you let us leave!" Sylvie yells. Loud enough for Detective Halstead who's outside the door to hear. Something they're unaware of.

"I know what the deal was!" The man yells back.

"We gotta go now and the doors bolted, can you guys get us in!?" Jay yells at Casey who is already radioing for Severide.

"You said you'd rein in your partner, so how about it?" Brett yells as she secretly cuts the zip tie off her hands.

"Will you shut up!" He yells as he gets ahold of Cassie and holds a gun to her head.

"I knew we couldn't trust you two." Sylvie mutters as she finishes getting the zip tie off her hands.

"Drop the gun." Sylvie says catching the driver's , the gunman's, and Cassie's attention with the driver's gun in her hands.

"I said drop it!"

With a nod from the driver, the gunman shoots at Sylvie but not before Cassie moves his arm out of the way so the bullet catches the floor. As he fights back and fires again, Cassie is still holding his arm so his aim is off.

With his other arm that had a hold of Cassie, he lets her go to elbow her in the nose. Once he drops his elbow, Cassie punches the guy in the face. She then knocked him on his ass after he catches a kick in the balls.

As Cassie gets away to grab Brett, he continues firing at the paramedics.

Fleeing into another room and locking the door, Sylvie looks around to see that they're trapped.

"Shit." She mutters as Cassie blocks her from the bullets flying through the door.

"Stay behind me." Cassie says as she grabbed a metal pipe, preparing for when he breaks into the room.

Once he does the door flies off the hinges, and all of their attention's turn to the next sound.

"Chicago PD! Don't move, drop your weapon! Do it now!" Jay yells as they charge into the warehouse.

Watching as the gunman put his hands up surrenderence, Jay continues making his way to the gunman.

"Put your weapon down, get down on the ground. Now! Hands up behind your head!"

"Voight! Brett!" Casey yells as the girls make their way back to the other side of the door.

"We were in here." Sylvie says making her way through the door first, Cassie quickly following behind as she dropped the pipe and clutched her nose up. Probably broken.

"Anyone hurt?" Casey asks.

"Not me, Cassie got an elbow to the face though." Sylvie says breathing heavily.

"Sylvie!" Cruz says running up to her and pulling her into a big hug.

"Cassie," Jay says softly looking at his best friend once he got cuffs on the bad guy.

Basically falling into Jay's arms, Cassie quickly forgot about her nose.

"Hey, hey, hey, you're okay. Shh, you're okay." Jay said brushing his hand through the back of her hair as she sobbed into his shoulder.

"Hey Cass." Gabby said making her way over to the girl.

As she pulled away from Jay's chest, she didn't leave his grasp as his hand still rested on her hip.

"Hey," she said pretty nasally as the Gabby pulled her into a hug of her own.

"Some pretty good partner bonding, huh?" Gabby asked making her chuckle.

"I'm glad you're okay." Casey finally says patting her on the back.

"Thank you, guys." Cassie said turning back to Jay.

"You need to go to the hospital." He said looking at her eyes that are already turning black and blue, along with her swollen nose.

"What? You calling this ugly?" She asked teasingly as they started walking out of the warehouse.

"No, no, just. Colorful?"

Playfully hitting him in the chest with a shocked expression, Jay quickly told another cop to take the perp in to the station and that he was going to go to the hospital with Cassie.

"So, your nose is pretty broken. If you look here, there's a slight fracture. We're gonna tape some gauze around it. Make sure you keep it on for the next 12 hours and rewrap it every 8-12 hours, for the next 48. It should heal in no time, make sure you ice it and take some pain meds." Doctor Rhodes explained to both Jay and Cassie in the trauma room.

"So i'm good to go?" She asked a little impatiently.

"Uh, yes. Maggie is getting your discharge papers now, but I do want to take a look at this hand." He said lightly grabbing her hand and examining her swollen knuckles. Sending butterflies through her stomach too.

"Oh, no, it's fine. I just ice it with pain meds and the swelling usually goes down within 24." Cassie said smiling and making a fist and opening her palm a few times in a row.

"Hm. Okay," Connor said sighing and looking between Cassie and Jay. "I'll get those papers to you. It's nice to see you're okay Cassie. Really." He finished with a warm smile and walking out of the room.

Jay quickly looked at Cassie's blushing face and starts laughing.

"You like him!" Jay teased making her blush harder.

"I do not!" She yelled back hitting him lightly.

"No, no, you like him like him, don't you?" Jay continued earning an eye roll.

"Okay so what if I do. I see him when I bring patients in sometimes...drop it." She said looking away.

"Okayyy." Jay said all sing-song-y making her roll her eyes again.

"Knock knock." her father said walking into the room.

"Hey, thanks for staying with her but you can leave now. Brett is down at the station but i'm gonna need you to question this Anthony Lullo when Cassie gets down there." He said looking at Jay earning a nod.

"I'll see you later." Jay said with a tight lipped smile as he walked out.

"You okay?" Voight asked making her nod.

"Yeah, all good. Fractured my nose, but I think I did the same to him plus some manhood damage." Cassie said making them both chuckle.

“I apologize for not being here sooner. Alvin and I were picking up the guys from the warehouse and finding Lullo. I have a question for you though.”

“What is it?” Cassie asked.

“How about you come stay with me for the next few weeks. You know, until this whole thing blows over and we know you’re safe.”

“What? You’re kidding right?” Cassie said laughing at his offer.

“Do I look like I’m kidding?” Hank asks crossing his arms over his chest.

“Thanks, but no thanks.” Cassie says hopping off the trauma bed and grabbing her things.

“Look, you thought this thing ended what, three? four weeks ago? Then look at what happened today. Just until it blows over? Okay?”

Without saying anything Cassie just looks at her father and stares.

“Okay?” He asks again.

“No, not okay. Jay literally lives across the hall from me. If anything happens, I’ll be fine. I know self defensive, I can hold my own.” Cassie says defensively walking out of the trauma room.

Signing the discharge papers at the nurses desk, Cassie walked out of the hospital with Voight quick to follow.

“Can you please just listen to me on this?” Voight asked opening the passenger side door for Cassie.

“No.” Cassie then said slamming it once she got in.

“I’m gonna go downstairs with Alvin, I’ll meet you guys upstairs with Jay and Anthony. You and Sylvie will be on the other side of the mirror.” Hank said kissing Cassie’s temple as they both walked into the 21st.

“Who’s downstairs?” Cassie asked knowing what he’s going to do.

“Guys who like holding female paramedics hostage in a warehouse.” He said walking off.

“Cassie. Nice to see you again.” Trudy said greeting Cassie.

“Hey sarge. So since i’m a civilian now aren’t you supposed to have someone walk me to the interrogation room?” Cassie teased once she got to the sergeant’s desk.

Sighing, Trudy removed her reading glasses and looked at the girl.

“That was supposed to be your father’s job. I’ll do it though. Yo chump! Watch the desk until I get back.” Trudy says coming around and showing Cassie to a room she knew all too well.

“We have numerous witnesses saying they saw you make a serious threat against Peter Mills. Then showed up again to talk to Cassie Voight.” Cassie heard Jay say once she walked on the other side of the glass.

“My son was dead. I was upset.” says Anthony.

“Yeah, that certainly squares with the eyewitness statements. ‘Mr. Lullo was livid.’ , ‘Full of rage.’ , ‘Frothing at the mouth.’” Jay finally said setting the paper down in front of Lullo.

“Look, I went over there and I apologized to Peter Mills, and he accepted my apology. He’s a good kid.”

“But what about the part where you visited Cassie Voight? Multiple times, even after Peter Mills had stopped working at Firehouse 51.” Jay asked.

“I don’t understand what’s going on here. I thought you caught the men that took those paramedics?”

“You didn’t answer my question.” Jay said smiling at the man.

“Cassidy ignored my invitation to talk. Nothing happened since.” Lullo says sitting back into his chair.

“But why did you want to talk Cassie? I thought your issue was with Mills?” Jay asked trying to agitate him.

“Yes, but Cassie knew more.” Lullo muttered.

“What do you mean Cassie knew more?” Jay pressed.

“Nothing.”

“Oh c’mon Anthony. What did Cassie know?” Jay asked trying to poke the bear further.

“Cassie knew how slow she drove killing my son. Cassie knows that she is the cause of his death.” He admitted

“Your son was already dead by the time we got to the scene. We just prolonged how long it was before the inevitable happened, which was his heart stopping due to blood loss.” Cassie yelled as she bursted into the interrogation room, startling both Jay and Lullo.

“I don’t think she’s allowed in here detective.” Lullo said looking at Jay.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”Jay said covering for Cassie.

“Your son died due to his injuries. There was nothing we could do, but you need someone to blame. Is that it? Pointing a finger at someone that’s not you, or your kid?” Cassie asked trying to piss the man off.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lullo said chuckling and looking away.

“I think I do. Because if I didn’t, you wouldn’t be deflecting right now. If I didn’t you would still be pretending that you’re content with the fact it wasn’t one person’s fault that your kids dead.” Cassie said matter of factly.

When she didn’t get a response she scoffed.

“So you’re okay with that? That no one killed your son, and it was just his injuries? Oh c’mon. You need someone to blame. To fill your urge and get revenge. That someone killed him and they need to pay. Right?” Cassie asked.

“You killed him! If anyone killed my son it was that bitch! She was the one driving!” Lullo yelled surprising everyone.

“Your son was already dead before we even arrived at the hospital! It had absolutely nothing to do with my driving, and everything to do with the fatal injuries he sustained.” Cassie yelled back at the man not knowing how many times she could repeat herself over this matter.

“You all say that, but if you drove faster, he would’ve made it to the hospital, and he would’ve lived!” Anthony said standing and pointing at Cassie.

“Is that why you stalked me then? It was never about Mills was it? It was about the fact that I didn’t drive fast enough. So you stalked and harassed me, then hired someone to take me out?” Cassie pressed causing him to basically fume from the ears.

“Yes! You deserved to know what it was like to ride half alive while the person who was supposed to be helping you couldn’t care less about getting you help!” Lullo yelled.

“So you ordered a hit on me?” Cassie asked again. Waiting for the confession.

“Yes!” He seethed earning a content smile from Cassie.

“Jay, I believe you can handle this from here.” Cassie said walking out of the room.

Later on once they officially arrested Lullo and everyone was gathered in the bullpen, Cassie decided to stay behind and talk to her father.

“Hey, we wouldn’t have gotten him if you didn’t intervene. Good job, Cass.” Jay said patting her on the back.

“Jay, Cassie, my office.” Hank announced earning a confused look from the both of them.

“Uh oh, principal’s daughter called to his office?” Antonio joked getting an eye roll in return.

“I watched what happened.” Hank said as they shut the door.

“What do you mean?” Cassie asked confused.

“I mean I saw you get the confession from Lullo. I want you to know, I get that you didn’t like being a patrolmen. But, when I give you this offer you need to think about it from a detective’s perspective. You have all the training, you would even be able to start tomorrow. You have the balls. We need you. Cassidy, do you want to join intelligence?” Hank asked making her jaw drop.

tagging: @rockyhayzkid

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vip3r-r · 2 months

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An apex writer 2024?? literally kicking my feet and giggling rn. Could I pls requests headcannons for Octane with how he prefers to be comforted by his partner, and how he would comfort them as well? With a male reader if that's alright. That new video of his speech at his dad's funeral has literally been rotting my brain

An Apex request in 2024?? SCREAMING AND CRYING OMG i saw the funeral and absolutely got JUMPED SCARED by my mans bestie cuz why he randomly appeared there— Guys I’m alive 50/50 and right now I’m an octane fan but like FAN so I’m def doing anything octane (prob bc of the recent events but still) this took SO LONG just because I couldn’t decide between soft expert octane or confused soft octane 😭

Warning/s — probably bad spelling

He lives fast so having a relationship is something that he wasn’t going to get used to so “fast”

From the outside, octane didn’t need comfort, if something bad happened it flew by him or he thought about it for a few seconds before doing something else and forgetting about the situation.

But in the inside, Octavio Silva needed that comfort he always avoided

In private, he would definitely ask for you attention and just your presence, he wants you near because he doesn’t know how to go with this kind of things, if he’s mad instead of upset he definitely needs a time alone.

In public, he quite literally doesn’t care what people think so if he wants a hug or a kiss for comfort he will have that, unless you don’t want to ofc.

Like I said before he doesn’t know how to deal with comfort because how much he avoided it, so comforting people was even worse, at least his partner… with friends and strangers he would obviously joke and try to make them laugh to take them out of those emotions but with you? His PARTNER?!? He couldn’t joke unless he wanted you to feel more emotional, trust me, it has happened (unless you actually like to hear jokes while feeling such emotions like that, then he will tell you some different stories about how he did some dangerous stunt and failed)

Octane need some time to learn but he is so damn fast at learning your favorite thing, so comforting you would get better every time

The is literally took so long I’m disappointed at the result but PLEASE REQUEST MORE IM DESPERATE

#I love octane #like why is he just.#maybe it’s the autism #x reader #apex legends headcanons #apex legends x reader #apex x reader #apex headcanons #apex legends #apex x octane #apex octavio silva #apex octane #octane x reader #apex legends octane #octane

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1moremilgram-enjoyer · 7 months

Text

Muu T1 Cover - Otome Dissection

More cover connections! This time, we have our favorite queen bee herself, Muu, and her cover, Otome Dissection! Honestly, this is probably my favorite cover so far, Muu's voice is so good for this song! I really recommend you listen to it if you haven't.

That said, what, and I cannot stress this enough, the fuck, is happening in this song?

CW Suicide and death, bullying

Otome Dissection is about a girl in a relationship, who loves her partner and is scared by the idea of them leaving.

Good evening, is now a good time? I didn't really have anything specific I wanted to say, but Now there's this and that, and an "it's alright" comes to mind Without you, none of that matters Both of us with our masks on, we flirted

Sorry for calling you so early I must've woken you up, huh? Are you up to chat right now? I had a dream where you fell in love with somebody else Please tell me it's not true. C'mon, love me please?

(Translation)

Got that? Good, because that's about the only thing I could gather the first time I read the lyrics.

The girl does not feel very happy with her life outside of the relationship, but struggles to communicate their pain to their lover. She really does want them to understand there's a problem, but she ends up framing her issues as only boredom.

It's in pieces, without spelling out "love" It's a penalty shoot-out, Feelings vs. Boredom Yeah, there's a kid there, lost in anything and everything, Shedding tears, meowing "SOS" with their eyes only halfway open This disease, the whole package, I'll send it to you as an attachment I don't wanna go so far as to share all the things that cause me pain I just wanna run away from this love...

(... Okay I'm gonna be honest. Different translations have very different lyrics, to the point where a lot of this might not be applicable to all translations. I hope you understand I'm struggling and accept that I have to pick one and run with it)

As you can see, she wants to share the "disease" with her lover, tell them what she's struggling with, but can't get herself to share all the things she's in pain about. No, I have no idea what the "wanna run away from this love" line means, it sorta contradicts literally the entire rest of the song, so... under the rug it goes!

The "kid meowing SOS" is actually the protagonist, because if you look at the video, while that lyric plays, the girl has a cat tail, and you know, "meowing."

DECO*27 try not to relate your characters to cats challenge level impossible.

The point is that she's dismissing her tears, like "yeah there's a kid there, they're kinda lost in the mess, don't worry about them." It comes off as somewhat nonchalant imo. Again, struggles to share her pain.

Let's play [Otome] Dissection! Calling each other by our real names "I don't wanna live" was what I should've said Will I ever find peace?

(Note: The translation I'm using translates 'otome', but since the title doesn't, I don't want to do it here. Don't ask how my brain works, I don't know myself)

She should say she's suicidal, to get her lover to understand her issues before they go too far, but she can't get herself to do so. And because she's hurting so much, she attempts suicide, and her lover saves her. And she finds that... exciting? She finds it's the only way she can get him to pay attention to her struggles.

Let's play [Otome] Dissection! Don't we all want some excitement to get our hearts pumping? I've wanted to feel shame ever since that night when I realized it's good as long as it hurts

Let's play [Otome] Dissection! Pulling burning passion out of each other Feels stupid already, I can't stand you telling me "no!" Will we ever clear up this misunderstanding? Let's play [Otome] Dissection! Smearing drool on top of the "baguette" Let's see if our climax had been a letdown Ever since that night

It's not immediately obvious from the lyrics, but the video makes it much clearer.

... It makes it a bit clearer.

That's what "Otome Dissection" is. Otome means 'maiden', but with the wording of 'playing Otome Dissection' it may also be a reference to 'otome games', a genre of visual novels which are basically dating sims with girl leads. And I assume you know dissection is a process done on dead things. With that in mind, "playing Otome Dissection" would imply "playing at killing the maiden to date the lover", aka attempting suicide and getting her lover to save her. I know it sounds odd, but that is what's happening. You see her 'dancing with death' in most of the choruses.

The singer claims she does it because it's exciting, that nothing else makes her feel as good as it. Again, I believe it's more so that it feels good to have her lover concern themselves with her safety, but she just doesn't know how to express she wants them to do that without "playing Otome Dissection."

Let's play [Otome] Dissection! Don't we all want some excitement to get our hearts pumping?

Let's play [Otome] Dissection! Smearing drool on top of the "baguette" Let's see if our climax had been a letdown Ever since that night

"Smearing drool on the baguette" is vaguely sexual imagery depicting pleasure, though I'm not sure why we're bringing bread into it. Unless... baguette -> French -> Muu? My job is so unbelievably easy sometimes.

She does understand this isn't exactly good, but she can't help the way she feels when she does it.

I've wanted to feel shame ever since that night when I realized it's good as long as it hurts

(Note this all started in 'that night', when she came to a realization. 'That night' likely refers to the first time she attempted suicide, and thus, it seems she didn't know she'd enjoy it the first time. If you follow, that means she had other reasons for attempting suicide, which heavily implies those other struggles she's not mentioning do in fact exist and I'm not going insane. I clarify because the lyrics are very confusing so I gotta properly explain my interpretation)

Her lover also clearly isn't very happy with it, but she wants him to understand it really does make her feel good.

Let's play [Otome] Dissection! Pulling burning passion out of each other Feels stupid already, I can't stand you telling me "no!" Will we ever clear up this misunderstanding?

But there's a big problem. You might have seen it at the start, the lover starts to grow distant towards the end of the second verse.

I had a dream where you fell in love with somebody else Please tell me it's not true. C'mon, love me please? Two times a day, morning and night, I'll sprinkle spices on you The insanity of wrong assumptions has no effect Listen, you've been pretty cold lately

Uh... "sprinkling spices" probably means "making the relationship more exciting", which as we've established is what she feels she's doing by "playing [Otome] Dissection." The "wrong assumption" is probably that the lover is growing more distant and might even be interested in someone else, but the girl denies the idea, calls it "insane." She's in denial over her relationship breaking down.

Which is why she doesn't notice when the lover drifts away so much, the next time she "plays Otome Dissection", they don't end up saving her. She goes too far, and ends up dying.

Yeah, the song's pretty sad.

This was all already only slightly less complicated than the average Milgram MV, and what's even funnier is that now I have to find a way to connect all this to Muu! How the fuck- Yeah this one'sdifficult.

Okay, so there's two ways I think this can work. The first is what I think is more likely; the "lover" is actually Muu's group of old 'friends', and 'Otome Dissection' is bullying other classmates.

[It's Not my Fault] Sorry, sorry, that must’ve hurt. I didn’t mean to though. You got on my nerves just a teensy tiny bit, that’s all. So let’s say this makes us even.

(Using the fan translation here)

Since that lyric seems to be directed at her bullied classmates in the context of the MV, Muu is claiming she bullies them for small reasons ("you got on my nerves just a teensy tiny bit"), though it's very likely she's hiding the real reasons. As you may know, bullies are generally hiding some of their own insecurities by making fun of others', and considering the way Muu speaks of herself in After Pain, it certainly feels like that may have been the case.

[After Pain] If I was gone, If I had just disappeared I overheard, I found out How much I’m not needed There’s no special meaning, I got the short end of the stick I overheard, I found out How much I’m not needed

Plus there's the fact many people have pointed out that in It's Not my Fault, Muu is still represented in her own mind as a monster. Though everyone else in that mind space thing is also an insect, so maybe she just doesn't really think anyone in her school was all that great. Well, except Rei. The lesbian interpretation grows stronger by the day.

So, the same way Otome Dissection's protagonist was hurting in other ways yet claimed she only attempted suicide because it was exciting (and I guess she just expects us to ignore why she attempted suicide the first time), Muu bullied others to feel better about herself, but claimed she did it for more superficial reasons. In fact, the official translation even claims she did it "because of being bored", the exact same reason Otome Dissection girl gives. Admittedly I'm pulling this more from the cover itself than the base Milgram content, and a very specific reading of the song too, which is not always recommended, but still.

This means the end of the song, with the lover growing more distant and possibly taking interest in someone else, is paralleled in the way Muu's friends abandoned her for Rei. While Otome Dissection girl goes too far and ends up dying without receiving help, Muu bullies the wrong person or something, Rei "turns the hourglass" and she's abandoned to suffer for her actions. Get it? I think it makes some sense.

(I will ignore the fact most of this interpretation comes from It's Not my Fault when this cover was released with After Pain, and there's nothing you can do about it)

The second way to read this is... way less charitable, to both Muu and Otome Dissection girl. Basically, you could argue Otome Dissection girl was only attempting suicide to get pity from her partner, and connect that to Muu's desire to be pitied.

[It's Not my Fault] It’s not my fault after all, after all. Everyone wants me to be innocent. What a relief. Can’t be helped. I’m always meant to be pitied!

In this interpretation, Muu "playing Otome Dissection" doesn't refer to a specific action she does, but rather to the way she used to present herself in Trial 1, when she was trying to get pity from Es/the others. However, that doesn't explain what the ending of the song would imply for Muu. Although you could argue Otome Dissection girl's death isn't really referenced in the lyrics, so it wouldn't apply to Muu, maybe?

Alternatively, you could speculate Muu was getting pity from her old 'friends', and that's what Otome Dissection was for her. That way the ending could still parallel Muu being abandoned for Rei. However, I don't think that works too well, since it's never really implied otherwise that the others hung out with Muu out of pity, and in this case "playing Otome Dissection" didn't directly lead to her "death", unlike the song.

Because of all of that, I personally consider the first interpretation I gave the most accurate. Where Muu "playing Otome Dissection" refers to bullying others to get attention from her 'friends' and to hide her pain, and ends up being abandoned for bullying someone in front of Rei. All interpretations are valid, though!

Well, that took longer than usual. Hope you enjoyed anyways! Take care!

#milgram #muu kusunoki #otome dissection cover

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