#all the stars we cannot see

[wanderingblindly]

WanderingBlindly Fanfic Masterlist:

Charles Leclerc/Max Verstappen

Excess (3.4k words, oneshot)

“You bite me,” He’s smiling now, like Max’s silence is as good as an oath. “And I’ll bite back. Deal?” Max’s eyes flick to the battleground on Charles’s body. “And this usually works for you?” Without hesitation, Charles brings his blade to his own hand. He slices across his index finger, letting the blood slowly pool, before holding it under Max’s nose like a taunt. “I’m too good to pass up.”

Choking on Greatness (2.9k words, oneshot)

“I don’t think you’re born a winner, no.” Max whispers against his lips, breath like a hint of warmth. “You make yourself into one, or you quit.” Can I?

Beggin' (1.7k words, oneshot)

“You are… gambling?” Charles slurred, tilting his head at Max’s proposal. “Loser gets on his knees.” Max said, looking down at Charles in a way that he hoped screamed ‘and I know it’ll be you’'. Or: Max and Charles make a drunken bet after Abu Dhabi 2021. One year, one realization, and one title later, Max isn’t where he thought he’d be.

I Know Your Name (But Not Who You Are) (7.6k words, oneshot)

If it’s been a decade since Max touched him, he fears it’s been longer since he’s seen him smile — their last weeks stained with downturned lips. Glassy eyes. “Cheers, then. To freedom.” “To finding you again.”

Cheating at Bingo and Other Christmas Traditions (12.4k words, oneshot)

"You know, there’s a very nice, very handsome young man in my neighborhood –” She starts back up, flagging down their waiter for another glass of wine. “Absolutely not,” He cuts her off with a dismissive wave of the hand. “Next topic.” “So you’re too good for him, is that it?” She sounds defensive, but her tone still has a mocking edge to it – emphasized by the quirk of her brows. Hardly holding back a groan, Charles tries to think of a way out of this. She’s like a cat, batting at him until he gives up, rolls over, and plays dead. “That’s not – I’m just busy, and it’s –” Or: Hallmark style fluff featuring an irritated Charles, a well-meaning Max, and the grandma that just wants them to kiss

Second Time's the Charm (7.3k words, oneshot)

“Remember when you said you’d set me up with someone? A few months ago, at George’s wedding?” Charles’s voice is still pinched, as if his throat is trying to suffocate him and put him out of his misery. “Maybe you could do that? If the offer is still standing.” Simultaneously: “How did you know you liked guys?” Max’s tone is flat, as it usually is when he tries to come off as entirely disinterested, but Lando knows his tricks. He shoots upright, looking down at Max with wide eyes before exclaiming, arguably, one of the worst possible responses: “Oh my god, Max, are you fucking gay?” Or: Charles and Max don't know how to date; Alex and Lando try their best to make it happen.

Eighteenth Summer (Do You Wish We'd Fall In Love?) (4.9k words, oneshot)

Max wanted to burn it into his memory, engrave bits and pieces of it into each of his senses. The way the blue sky reflected off of Charles’s massive sunglasses, the smell of the hot asphalt mixing with Charles’s cologne, the nearly hysterical sound of their laughter as their playlist finally shuffled to Mr. Brightside; everything felt so precious. So fleeting. Moments memorialized on the 101 northbound, flying out of their open windows and away from his greedy fingers.

All the Stars We Cannot See (9.8k words, oneshot)

Sitting on his roof, bathed in wintery silence, Max prayed to be rescued. To whom, he wasn’t sure. Maybe the force that branded his wrist, the universal power that decided who to tie him with forever. Perfectly. Something like fate. Max prayed to fate, then. “Am I interrupting something?” The man’s accent was French, his tone unusually assertive for a question of intrusion. “It’s not my roof,” Max shrugged, hopping back onto the ledge.

Rules of Engagement (7.2k words, oneshot)

“Take me with you then!” Max felt his eyes go wide, his jaw literally dropping at the suggestion. “Tell them I’m like. Say I’m your fiancé, mate.” The heat had melted Charles’s brain, Max decided, staring at him blankly. “No.” He deadpanned. “Mate it’s genius! You won’t have to do anything, just stand there. Let me handle it. Them. The women.”

Milk and Love (1.85k words, oneshot)

There’s someone else in his empty apartment, his presence both doubling and fading overnight. It’s next to him on the floor, an identical hand grazing his fingertips as it lays beside him – a perfect mirror. It’s in his kitchen, looking at the food his trainer brought him the night before. It’s in his bed at night, putting no weight on the mattress but forcing unimaginable pressure on his mind, in his eyes. Faster than him, quieter than him, beside him. Inside him. He can’t escape it, he realizes as he lays on the floor. It lives where he lives. 

Middle Child Syndrome (I've Been in Love with You for Ages) (3.6k words, 2/2 chapters)

After all, Charles being a middle child always made a lot of sense to Max. Max’s unwillingness to deny Charles anything always made a little less sense to Max. Standing on the third place podium beneath the Monegasque flag made a lot less sense to Max. The fact that he wasn’t mad about it, a warm sense of acquiescence spurred by Charles’s smile, made it all click. He was in love with Charles Leclerc, and he always had been. Or: A small collection of memories leading up to a realization on the podium of Baku 2023.

#masterpost #lestappen #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #middle child syndrome #milk and love #rules of engagement #all the stars we cannot see #eighteenth summer #second time’s the charm #Cheating at Bingo and Other Christmas Traditions #i know your name (but not who you are) #Beggin' #Choking on Greatness #Excess

[the-crooked-library]

i think the primary reason why K/S has such overwhelming appeal is and always shall be that it is, at its core, a soulmate bond that has to be forged. the only way a t'hy'la bond can manifest is through shared toil, hardships, and undying devotion; it must be given effort and put together piece by piece - but at the same time, by the nature of its creation, it alters all realities on a cosmic level, to the point that Kirk and Spock must meet in every universe.

t'hy'la is not spontaneous. it is not a soulmate mark, it doesn't spring to life at first sight or first touch or first word. it is destined - because it is chosen, time and time again. you cannot have one without the other

#star trek #spirk #k/s #spock #kirk #s'chn t'gai spock #james t kirk #captain kirk #see it's about the will of two people intertwined with the will of the stars. it's about devotion being the Point #k/s said Do Not Separate #so the universe said ugh fine but no soulmate marks no freebies no guarantee you'll ever know each other or fall in love again #and k/s said Bet #see the core appeal of the soulmate tropes is not Spontaneity. it's Reassurance #it is a guarantee that someone out there is Meant to love you and it appeals to people who have been fundamentally Unloved #and k/s still absolutely has That #but at the same time. the core appeal of a slowburn is the time and effort and history it takes to build something lasting and powerful #and k/s is also That in every way #you cannot have one without the other #no destiny without love no love without effort no effort without will no will without life no life without destiny #and it all goes full circle #k/s said we will be Destined because we will make it so

[instarsandcrimeah]

I love Sif's design-

#in stars and time #isat #in stars and time siffrin #siffrin #This game has very quickly jumped to one of my favorite games of all time #I cannot wait to see what they make next #tbh I want to see this new journey but that's prob not gonna happen #I also really wanna know what happened to the Northern Island! #Also! I want to play through Maribelle's journey! #There is so much I want to see from this world and idk if we will ever see it #it's like the cat in the box #If I open it I'll know the answers #but if it can never be opened then there will always be a mystery and always be something to think about #but who knows maybe opening that box you'll find something else #something even more mysterious inside #you never know #and you'll never know if those things should be answered #thats the fun part

[tragedy-for-sale]

Obi-Wan and Anakin and all the damage they've done to each other

Re-watching this scene will help you understand my analysis a lot more. The episode is S6 E6 The Rise of Clovis

When Obi-Wan comes into Anakin's room, he immediately picks up a droid head, showing an interest in what Anakin is doing while talking to him. You do this with kids, they're more likely to open up and talk to you because you're not really talking, you're just playing. Obi-Wan knows he's going to upset Anakin because he understands Anakin better than anyone. It's in this moment Obi-Wan reverts back into when they were younger, when Anakin was a child and Obi-Wan's role was much more parental.

Anakin opens up to Obi-Wan but then he gets upset. He walks away and he picks up the model star ship. He plays with the ship because it doesn't matter how old you get, you still feel like a child when you're with your parent. He opens up, but anger follows yet again, and the moment he gets angry, he slams the ship down because he's loved too deeply all his life and he doesn't want to hear about it again.

After Anakin slams the ship down, saying he understands his responsibilities, Obi-Wan's tone changes. It's no longer gentle, his voice is sharp and it's as if he's aged ten years. He tried approaching this situation with an invitation to let Anakin express his feeling. Obi-Wan mentions Satine, he tries to connect with Anakin by sharing something personal but Anakin yells at him instead.

Also, when Obi-Wan says this, he doesn't look at Anakin, his back is turned to him because he knows if Anakin is going to open up to him, it won't be face to face. Because how could they ever admit anything to each other after all the times they've let each other down? How can they look each other in the eye?

Watch Obi-Wan in the second and third gif, what Anakin says is his 'strikeback' he's frustrated and he's taking all of it out on Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan no longer tries to reach Anakin, he lays down what needs to happen, daresay his tone is sharpest here, then he gets up and he leaves. Anakin knows that Obi-Wan knows, but Obi-Wan pretends not to know and he's happy to play along, and maybe he shouldn't keep pretending, but how could Obi-Wan do anything to ruin the only true happiness in Anakin's life?

So, Obi-Wan leaves, giving Anakin one last look, because he knows if he does anymore damage to Anakin, there'll be nothing left to ruin. Watch Obi-Wan's face in the gif, you cannot tell me he doesn't look sad. That's the face of a man trying to be strong but his eyes give him away.

LOOK AT ANAKIN'S HAND IN THE LAST GIF. HE'S REACHING FOR OBI-WAN BECAUSE HE WANTS TO TAKE ALL HIS ANGER BACK BUT ANGER IS ALL HE HAS TO GIVE.

#THIS IS LONG BUT I CANNOT WITH THIS SCENE #THE EMOTIONAL DEPTH IN THIS SCENE #Anakin yells at Obi-Wan #he takes a piece of Obi-Wan and Obi-Wan can only ever let him #Obi-Wan goes on the defensive #THIS SCENE IS EVERYTHING #DJSHHFJSJDJDHCJDJEJXHDJCJC #star wars #clone wars #obiwan kenobi #anakin skywalker #pulling out hardcore ROTS novel references #this moment is where we start to see the cracks #and how it was only ever supposed to end with Obi-Wan vs. Anakin #in the end it was only ever Anakin and Obi-Wan and all the damage they've done to each other

[quarks-pussy]

So I know we here at Startrekfandom love that "came back wrong but from the pov of the wrong" thing and apply it to many different characters and canon situations and I am far from trying to complain about it (I'm "came out wrong" trope myself so I was always gonna obsess over it) but having recently watched a very important episode (you'll know which one) for the first time I think there's a character who hits both tropes mentioned but llike, intertwined, opposite and subverted, and whom I wanna talk about.

Julian Bashir.

From his parents' pov he's "came out wrong but we got him help and he came back better" while from his own pov it's "came out 'insufficient', was destroyed for it, came back wrong and only later slowly came to terms with his new self tho never the process (justifiably so)" and it's heartbreaking because in a way, he's right! Jules Bashir died! His parents had an intellectually disabled child and decided to eugenics him! Julian is not the person he used to be and while I do love the person he is now, that doesn't bring back who he was! Part of me wishes we could've gotten to see Jules at least once and part of me hopes we never do because my heart would shatter.

This isn't a good comparison but nonetheless one I can't help drawing: it's giving similar vibes to anti-vaxxers. "I'd rather risk having a child who is dead than one who's autistic". Obviously this doesn't map over since Julian is still autistic and the procedure his parents subjected him to specifically targeted his intellectual disability and if any folks with id wanna comment on this I definitely recommend you listen to them over me, but it's a similarity I, as an autistic who has encountered anti-vaxxers again and again, can't help but point out. "Give me a normal child or give them death."

This may have been written about already but there needs to be stories about teenage Julian (after finding out and rediscovering who he was) practicing some good ol' recognition of the self through media. I need to hear about how he would encounter a story about someone who came back wrong (I'm gonna assume there's plenty of "wrong" pov stories floating around by the 24th century) and absolutely weep. I need to see Julian mourning Jules, taking years and years to process his feelings, experiencing guilt about how he, the imposter, didn't deserve to live Jules' life.

Came back wrong from the returned's pov but it wasn't an accident. It was done to you deliberately by the people who claim to love you. And now you are here, piloting the corpse of your predecessor.

Jules Bashir is dead. Long live Julian Bashir.

#i've called julian jules before simply as a normal nickname but i don't think i ever will again. not after this #and knowing that if it had been possible i would have probably gone the way jules did. knowing that at his age i would have gone willingly. #fuck dude i am literally actually crying literal tears irl right now this is not a joke #fuck!!!!! #julian bashir #jules bashir #doctor bashir i presume #came back wrong #star trek deep space nine #HE WAS SIX YEARS OLD!! HE WAS SIX YEARS OLD AND THEY KILLED HIM!!!! #i cannot stop crying i am literally crying and like not even just a little #i cannot... poor julian how the FUCK do you ever come to terms with something like that #and like... julian remembers. he has most if not all of jules' memories and also knows he was murdered simply for not being julian #like how did he cope #(im about to go off on a tangent that will contain censored names for the sake of not clogging those tags if you dont know who i mean hmu) #like this is literally the thing that fucked up j*ran so bad he went on a murder spree isn't it #he remembers the one who came before who was killed. very different circumstances of course esp since tr*ll are expected to replace one ano #another but he remembers this person he remembers BEING this person who was young and simply enjoying life and who died a sudden death and #he remembers the experience of that death as well and how it lead to his own creation. it's not remotely similar ofc but considering that #the only time we see t*rias in alpha canon is in julian's body... i need to lie down for a moment. #and jor*n couldn't cope! he couldn't! it was far too much and the weird thing is right now in this moment i GET it y'know?? like that's #so horrific. and i haven't watched any jo*an episode besides facets yet but do you think. do you think j*dzia told julian about all this an #he nodded along and kept composure and then when he was alone he broke down crying? like julian you're doing SO well ily you're coping and #you shouldn't have to obviously but you do nonetheless!! do you think julian still has something from jules? like i've heard there's a tedd #but i mean jules prolly didn't keep a diary he was a six year old with an intellectual disability it's pretty unlikely he could write but #does julian have drawings made by jules? i'd like to think so but honestly his parents probably threw them out. like they also moved so #sorry i'm just. many thoughts head full. ive stopped crying now but who knows for how long. also i'll have to tag this with my original tag #maybe i should've picked something less silly for when i make serious posts but like what am i gonna change my url as well? don't think so #original posts fresh from quark's pussy #and thats the tag limit folks it's been fun. i had to delete two other tags but my god. anyway. thinking about jules bashir forever & cryin

[fallenorder-incorrectquotes]

Cere: Cal’s ability to manipulate certain situations in his favor is admirable, I would never constrain it.

[five minutes later]

Cere: CAL THE RULES OF CANDYLAND ARE VERY CLEAR—

#someone please write a fic of them playing candyland #or maybe I will #we shall see #if I had to guess which member of the mantis crew was the most competitive #it would be cere all the way #you cannot change my mind #source: actioncookbook #cere junda #cal kestis #jedi fallen order #jedi fallen order incorrect quotes #jedi survivor #jedi survivor incorrect quotes #star wars incorrect quotes #greez dritus #bd 1 #merrin

[kaidanalenkosprmanager]

THE BEST OF GRISSOM ACADEMY

Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard, EDI, and Jack With: Flight Lt. Jeff "Joker" Moreau, Lt. James Vega, Ens. Jason Prangley, Ens. Rodriguez, David Archer, and Kahlee Sanders I never had a family- and these guys... Anyone screws with my students and I will tear them apart. Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)

#mira makes gifs ✨ #james vega #sophie shepard #jeff joker moreau #EDI #jack #subject zero #david archer #kahlee sanders #mass effect #mass effect 3 #me3 #mass effect legendary edition #dailygaming #grissom is literally my favorite side mission in ME3 so i was so excited to make this omg #it just has it all- good plot + solid witty one liners + an awesome bunch of characters + a nice emotional moment like #and it stars jack who’s like one of my favorite ME2 squaddies so ??? it’s just an all around iconic mission #EDI has so much good grissom dialogue too and she looks mighty cute in her lil hunter hood! 🥹 #james has a few really good lines too but none of the ones i liked were in the cutscenes so it was sooo hard to get more of him in the set #i will say i forgot how much good jack dialogue there is in grissom like i just love and stan my girl so much #and now when i see her i think of saoirse and seamus every time like that’s THEIR GIRL KICKING ASS!! ✨✨ #her lines with prangley and rodriguez are top notch too honestly #but honestly my favorite moment is still shep and EDI’s conversations with david #like EDI’s soft little ‘no apology is necessary’? #when david says ‘the number of days you lengthened my life’? #i tear up a little bit playing grissom every time bc overlord is the best ME2 dlc and you cannot change my mind #also soph once again eating in cleric’s fabulous guardian armors for shepard (which will always be famous✨) #like the shoulders?? the omni mark?? the set is just talented. brilliant. incredible. show-stopping. spectacular. beautiful. iconic. #and soph's usually rep'ing the purples/deep reddish pinks but did i make the omni mark blue so we could rep spectre alenko colors? #i’ll let you be the judge ✨

[raelyn-dreams]

Do you ever think about how the Ra*bits juniors were only desperate enough to beg Nazuna to join because they absolutely REFUSED to join a pre-existing unit that wouldn't have all three of them?

Tomoya and Hajime had decided on becoming idols together in middle school and stubbornly stuck with it, but they had known Mitsuru for like a few weeks at most and were already so attached to him that the thought of joining a unit without him or each other was utterly inconceivable to them.

They all loved each other so much from the beginning, and among all the manipulation, reluctance, and fear permeating the other units of early ! era, they still had the courage to say "You take all of us, or none of us". And it paid off with a loving nii-chan who found his place, songs full of hope and smiles to heal the broken, and one of the most genuine, heartwarming relationships in all of enstars.

#we're having feelings about ra*bits today #tomomitsuhaji and nazuna nii chan nito my beloveds #black bunny did a lot of things wrong but it nailed the “we are a package deal DO NOT SEPARATE” part of all of them #fun fact i am a poly ra*bits juniors truther (whether that be platonically romantically qpr etc) bc i cannot see one without the other two😭 #<- exaggeration bc i do like other ships for them lol but i do love them together dearly #i really love how they get to stand on equal ground with nazuna in !! era its a lovely development #anyways stream hikari spectrum #enstars #ensemble stars #ensemble stars music #ra*bits #tomoya mashiro #hajime shino #mitsuru tenma #nazuna nito #ra*bits juniors #ra*bits kouhai

[forcedhesitation]

man people REALLY can't tell when larian is full on joking in their patch notes, huh? the gale thing was a legitimate bug and people are crying that they changed him as they did lae'zel. reading comprehension these days is abysmal.

I can't be surprised, though, because back when astarion's kiss animation was bugged, I saw discussions that it was "suspicious" that his kiss animation wasn't bugged for the default guy body, but was bugged for the default gal body. you know, as if larian somehow fucked up their own game's code on purpose, specifically to slight women who want to romance a canonically bisexual man that has flirtatious dialogue with the lady companions regardless of your tav's interest in him. totally checks out.

the complaints about changing lae'zel are entirely valid and I agree that her personality should not be toned down to appeal to the delicate sensibilities of the heterosexual man. I'm fairly certain that lae'zel's change was actually the only one that intentionally altered a companion's dialogue to be less abrasive. the alleged change to shart was also a bug fix, not an attempt to alter her character, if I remember correctly.

but by all means, let's accuse the devs of "ruining the game" every time they improve it. even better, let's all campaign for the addition of another romance! solely so that we can have sex with a popular NPC! rather than, oh I don't know, putting more pressure on them to add more material to the stories of wyll & karlach!

I swear, some people really do NOT know what it feels like to play a game where the devs truly and honestly are not listening to the playerbase...or where it takes literal YEARS for them to respond to even a fraction of the players' reasonable concerns & feedback.

#bg3 #thoughts about media #no this does not mean the game is without fault and no this does not mean you cannot or should not criticise them. #let's not do that social media thing where we put words in people's mouths because we can't slow down and read their post properly. #the bg3 devs are Very receptive to community feedback compared to what I am used to. #and yet instead of the community banding together to press for much needed improvements to wyll & karlach's stories... #the majority complains about...misunderstandings on account of their own lack of reading comprehension.... #...and the inability to actually have sex with raphael gort or dammon. #man I thought the whole “which NPC would you like to see as a possible romance?” was just a fun discussion question. #not “let's start a literal petition so we can have sex with a guy who's canonically terrible in bed.” #also wtf is wrong with the available options. wyll star gale and hal are all hot & cool.

[ilovedthestars]

happy eclipse day in particular to my fellow North Americans who are sooo close to the path of totality but aren’t able to travel inside it because of school/work/other life circumstances. I hope you’re still able to step outside with some eclipse glasses or just a paper pinhole camera (view safely!) and participate in the eclipse along with millions of other people. And if you can’t even do that, there will be many many cool pictures to look at tomorrow.

#eclipse #stars rambles #my family was this close to driving to totality but I cannot afford to miss school rn #and we all just have too much going on to make it worth it #and I am mourning it a little #so. handshake #see the partial if you can #it’s not as fun but you will still be A Part Of It #and if you can’t that’s ok

[remythologise]

bestie… what’s the 600k incomplete merlin fic please drop the title

SO glad you asked and also I misspoke. It is actually 871k. THE HANDS OF A HUNDRED WINTERS by FOURLEGGEDFISH. It is in four parts and you both can and should read it despite being incomplete, I have only read 3/4 parts because I am loathe to part with the reading experience of writing this good. This is both my favourite Merlin fic I've ever read and potentially my favourite longfic I've ever read (though hard to assess when it's incomplete and I haven't read it all as yet). It's AMAZING to me that the author has managed to sustain and even increase my interest over this many words, a feat managed by no other fanfiction I've read longer than 400k words ever (and I read a lot of those!). Don't get me wrong it's not perfect, and I do have minor scruples with some things*! I also don't think it's for everyone, my dear friend didn't like it and found it too dark for her personal tastes. But for ME? SPECIFICALLY FOR ME? To quote something I said to my friends 'wells for boys, lads, wells for fucking boys.' I also think it's so immaculately beautifully written that even if it's not your personal cup of tea you should read it anyway. ALSO the sheer dazzling breadth of research that went into this fic is REMARKABLE. I am not joking when I say this author has achieved everything I want to achieve as a writer in this fic. In many ways this is Ur Merlin Fic. The Once and Future Fic. To Me!

*I have minor scruples with almost every fic I've ever read and frankly remarkable how few scruples occur with a fic on this size. There are also scruples I had with things like tone, characterisation or even sex scenes that were then resolved with plot explanations that made sense a mere half a million words later in a quite satisfying way. This fic is a masterpiece in how it threads things like that through and pays them off very handsomely. I know how much blood sweat and tears goes into creating fanfic and I am overwhelmed by the skill, love and zillions of hours that must have gone into crafting this. Nothing but respect for such an incredible piece of art.

#this is what fanfiction should aspire to be. this is the star by which we should all navigate. #merlin #fic rec #arthur x merlin #ask #anonymous #kira for ts #I cannot say enough about this fic you should see my group chat history about it. #again I do have a few scruples or Things I Would Have Done Slightly Differently but like #what is that in the face of being constantly dazzled by the writing. arrogance I'd say. I only mention it bc as I said #I know it's not for everyone and I will state that upfront #but this is literally like to me. everything I've ever ever ever wanted in a merlin fic #and more! #looking back through my chat log on this fic and to quote me #funny that some people will just come out of covid and write a 800000 word cross-era merlin epic #well we all went through things during the pandemic wish mine was half as productive

[wanderingblindly]

humbly asking for directors commentary on all the starts we cannot see!!! no matter what section, i'll take anything :)

Omg thank you for asking about this fic!!!! I've done one director's cut on this before, where I discussed how it became a soulmate AU on accident, but!

I have more to say! <- personal thesis tbh

My Favorite, Easily Missed Bits:

One of my favorite -- but relatively inconsequential -- lines in the fic is actually the transition between two scenes:

A fist banged against the door, Max guiltily shoved his phone back into his pocket at the noise. Schooling his features, righting his posture, he stepped back into Jos’s version of himself. Another round on the sim, then.  — A gentle rap of knuckles against his door pulled him out of his mind. Standing and straightening his t-shirt nervously, he walked towards the entryway, pulling in a deep breath before opening the door. 

It's a small detail, but I loved how nicely it highlights the very obvious difference between the two of the main forces entering Max's space/life: his father as a demanding, aggressive figure and Charles as a more gentle, understanding one. Somehow it very succinctly shows that Charles doesn't want to bombard into Max's life, doesn't want to burst into his personal bubble and assume he's welcome, which stands in such stark contrast to Jos.

Another small moment/line I really loved is:

He was inviting Max into an important, personal part of him, both into his home and onto his bench. Maybe they were one in the same to him, like Max’s bedroom and his rooftop. To take his hand, to fail at something so important to Charles, could either be that simple? 

Thought this isn't like, vital to the progression of the plot or anything, I really enjoyed how it emphasizes Max's... seriousness, as a person. He wasn't allowed a normal childhood, wasn't allowed anything that would foster lightheartedness or safety, and therefore immediately appreciates the gravity of Charles's vulnerability.

Of course, we don't actually know if Charles feels that way about his piano bench. Perhaps he views it like how some view a kitchen -- welcoming, inviting, a place where everyone he loves should get to be. But to Max, somewhere that belongs solely to you is personal, and I think this scene demonstrates that well. (maybe?)

Regrets About It:

Originally, I fleshed out more of a backstory for Charles! I wanted to use him as a foil to Max in a few more ways, but the plot just didn't end up moving in that direction. Here are some of the character notes I had that, unfortunately, didn't make it in:

Charles has a strong established sense of self; he knows who he is, what he likes, who he loves, etc.. He doesn't feel like he exists at the universe's whims, he is he own person

This was designed to be in contrast to how Max feels like fate just sort of... drags him around and kicks him while he's down. It's not that Max has a victim complex relating to Jos, per se, it's more that he feels helpless to escape the life that fate handed him. He feels doomed to live in the confines of what he's been dealt, whereas Charles doesn't.

However:

He's still fearful that one day he won’t be able to do what he loves anymore (piano), but has reached a stage of acceptance and appreciation for what he has now. His chronic illnesses, though a burden to his loved ones (in his eyes), is just a hurdle he can overcome and find happiness around.

Both Charles and Max have been through immense hardship as it pertains to their goals, passions, and personal lives. I thought Charles being in a positive place of acceptance and self-accommodation (warm clothing, taking breaks when needed, etc.) could contrast nicely to Max, who feels much more... mixed about his situation.

I also had this note, which I don't think really made it into their dynamic. The story, as always, had a mind of its own lol:

Charles is quiet, more of an observer. Max, surprisingly, drives a lot of their conversations. You wouldn’t expect it for someone that has his backstory (which Charles doesn’t know yet), but it’s the people pleasing survival instinct in him

#I hope any of that was interesting to you!!!!!!!! #Thank you again for asking #I'm still so fond of this fic #All the Stars We Cannot See #Lestappen #directors commentary #ask me :)

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

Rosaria Champagne, “Law of the (Nameless) Father: Mary Shelley’s Mathilda and the Incest Taboo” // Star Trek: Deep Space 9, 2x22 “The Wire”

#incest tw #RENT LOWERING GUNSHOT POST #''I never met anyone who relished a good interrogation as much as you did.'' #and then we proceed to hear a story about how Garak preferred to stare at someone for four hours straight rather than interrogate them #and THEN we proceed to watch him try to interrogate someone and not be able to do it even when he literally doesn't even have to doanything #because the anti-changeling machine basically does it for him and he still can't even watch it happen #hm. hmmmmmmmmmm #''We're both getting sentimental in our old age.'' #Fathers love to tell you you enjoyed it actually. and also you're basically a fellow adult really. #it's their favorite thing in the whole world #Starky's Original Posts #Star Trek: Deep Space 9 #watch these tags look stupid after I watch Broken Link or something. whatever I'm basking in them for now. #not sorry for posting this due to the fact that I wanted to do so. however I am sorry you had to see it. #god I looked up TDIC script for this and I cannot do it anymore #NO NEED TO PRETEND. YOU'RE FOND OF MILA. AREN'T YOU? YOU DON'T WANT HER HURT DO YOU? #SICKO TELEVISION SHOW I CAN'T WAIT FOR ALL OF CARDASSIA TO GET EXPLODED BY ONE TRILLION BOMBS #GOODBYE

[skunkes]

was abt to make a silly post about how at this point i barter with the universe for a bf like "please id take care of him and walk him and dress him up", like a child begging for a pet, and then i think abt how as much as i want an actual pet I don't think im fit to ever have one of those either

#talkys #i want a partner i dont think i should have one for equal parts not thinking im worthy and also being too picky #and enjoying my alone time as much as the loneliness and skin hunger hurts me so badly every single day #after hearing with and interacting with others its like is it even worth it if ill still turn to my imagination...! like will it ever be #enough? #or i see ppl post about the Good and its like. id never be lucky enough to find someone who fit my needs and didnt hate me and #wanted to spend time with me it wld be so difficult. i will never be that lucky #but then wagh. ive talked about this before i hate falling into this pit bc ive always been undesirable so convincing myself of all this #feels very like. well yeah. it was never gonna happen anyway but good thing you finally found your Cope! #delete later #i cannot even make friends. the stars will never align. but all i want is my own guy to worship. belongs with me‚ the devotee #being unworthy but also being like. im a catch i can be as picky as i want (forgets hes ugly as fuck and kind of useless with it too) #whatever either way we are not going to make it

[astro-inthestars]

I can't believe I forgot international friendship day wHAT... it's MY day I love my friends and I love them with my whole heart and soul what the heck I didn't do anything for it noooo :( just- THAT POST I MADE ON VALENTINES!!! THAT!!! THATS WHAT I HAVE TO SAY!!!!

I love my friends so much I love YOU so much!! Thank you for being in my life and being my friend and loving me I hope you know I love YOU and i will NEVER stop loving you EVEN if we're apart OKAY!!??

I'm far too tired but this is already on the third paragraph so it's still pretty good and I still have more words to say so YES!! If you are my friend and you are reading this, know that I utterly adore you and EVERYTHING you do. Your art, your stories, your ideas, your creations, your music, your jokes, your friendships, your passions, your laughter, your happiness, I love love LOVE it and I will NEVER get tired of it!!! EVEN IF IT SEEMS LIKE I AM!!! I AM NOT!!! I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE YOU I'LL NEVER GET TIRED OF YOU AND WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY! Sometimes I'm just tired, but never of you, okay??

And if you need a shoulder to lean on or an ear to listen, I will be here. And I'm sorry if sometimes I lose the words to say or the energy to talk, but know I love you so goddamn much, more than the sun shines, more than the solar systems in galaxies, more than every star in the WHOLE WIDE UNIVERSE!!! Okay??? You are a WONDER for being here and I am so lucky to have you as a friend, no matter what you think, I am lucky to have you.

Okay, I'm going to bed, I love you! Remember that, okay?

#rennikorambles #kaibigan kong mahal #lovely rambling #i am sleepy and tieed but when it comes to friends? #it gave me a burst of energy realizing i had to make a post #because like i said!!! i am overflowing with love for my friends all the time always <3 #i'd ping ppl but i cannot think rn and i dont wanna miss people so maybe i'll do it in the morning? or just revlog this and hope they see.. #anyways!! i love you guys so so so SO much. you mean the world to me #even if we hadnt talked in a while. please know youre my friend and i love yiu and care about you and #i wish you the very best all the time #i hope that every star watches over you and gives you happiness!! as much happiness as there are stars in the sky!!! #ok ok im going ro bed goodnighttt #international friendship day

[amaraudermind]

YOU'RE SOOOOO RIGHT ABOUT EZRA YOU'RE SO RIGHT IT'S LIKE YOU LOOKED INTO MY HEAD AND WROTE EVERYTHING DOWN

he's so in tune with the force I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS

NO YOU'RE RIGHT HE IS

And it's like. Being in tune with the force is one thing, right? Lots of Jedi are, lots of force users in general are, even!

But like. Okay so Hera mentioned in the pilot that Ezra opening the Holocron being a level of test, right? And it sounded like she and Kanan had discussed before something about him opening the Holocron meaning Kanan would train him.

But that's such a horrible test! In clone wars they specified that you could only open a Jedi Holocron as a Jedi. You had to be so dialed in specifically on the light side of the force.

So walk with me here. Ezra Bridger. He not only has a strong connection to the force. He not only instinctively calls on it without knowing a thing about it. He effortlessly tunes into the light side of the force, like it's as natural as breathing.

"but Void" I hear from the crowd "Ezra also tunes into the dark side of the force"

Indeed. Yes. Correct.

No but just stick with my crazed rambling for a sec okay? Because the dark side is supposed to be the easy path, the one that's so simple to fall into, it calls to force users, I mean, we see that the dark side is exactly that time and again.

I bring this up because. It's not for Ezra. The first time he grasps for the dark side he's in a panic, and it hurts him. It does get them away from the grand inquisitor but it almost doesn't. And the next time? It's after encouragement from Maul, and even then he's having to actively pursue it. He has to try to use the dark side.

And, because I think of this oh so much, when Maul needs him to open the Jedi Holocron--after he's been using the dark side and frequently, mind you--Ezra still can.

And like I have so many more incoherent thoughts about him and his force connection there's just so much he has taken up my entire brain<3

#void answers #star wars #ezra bridger #seriously words cannot encompass the amount of emotions i feel about him #why and how and what #how are you the way that you are ezra bridger #literally i have seen never seen a single other character as confounding as ezra #there are REASONS everyone latches onto this kid #i just feel like when he's actively using the dark side and clearly changed a lot #like. okay sabine says it's still ezra 'sometimes' when we see him using the dark side. #and i don't know. this part i know is more of a stretch but it feels like ezra is less called to the dark side #and more is convinced that it's the way to protect his family in a logical sense. like he has logic'd his way into thinking he NEEDS #the dark side of the force. and therefore it makes sense for him to continue using it wven though it's not natural to him. #it's still him 'sometimes' because he's having to put effort into using the dark side. when he's not trying he's...bouncing back. #and once he found a reasonable argument to NOT use the dark side. to see that it wasn't helping. it was pretty easy to step back again. #i don't know i might have just literally lost my mind from thinking about him too much i am in the middle of yet another watchthrough #we'll see how well my thought processes hold up against seeing it all transpire again #anyway