#no destiny without love no love without effort no effort without will no will without life no life without destiny

[bengiyo]

Wandee Goodday: They're Letting Men 69 Now

The third episode of Wandee Goodday opens with the leads engaged in mutual fellatio (commonly known as a 69), and I wanted to comment on how well I liked it being used here. I asked yesterday how many other instances we had of the position in prior shows, and got confirmation from @respectthepetty and @pharawee and others that as best we can recall right now only Destiny Seeker has shown or implied the position before. Because we are hundreds of shows deep into BL at this point, I wanted to follow up on my post about Patts Wanting to Blow Saengtai and talk about this scene a bit.

One of the things I generally have to just ignore in BL is the alarming lack of lubricant usage in the genre even more than the lack of condom usage. BL boys must have self-lubricating organs with the way this genre behaves around it. It also doesn’t match the expected velocity of m/m physical intimacy that I’m used to in my own experience and the stories told by my homies. In fairness, in the couple dozen m/m romance novels I’ve read, I can only recall one 69 scene (shoutout to Ginn Hale for Lord of the White Hell, Book 1) In my experience, guys are way more likely to touch each other’s dicks before they kiss each other (something else Wandee Goodday is doing that I like).

What makes this scene standout to me is that we ended the previous episode with the guys establishing the rules of their relationship, and Wandee telling Yoryak he wanted him to pay more attention to his dick during sex. I really love coming back to them literally giving each other head, having a good time doing it, and teasing each other about it. It’s important to me that gay sex in shows about gay characters look like it’s fun for the characters and not just as a completion of a big romantic moment. It’s also very cool that this show continues to tease and show the various ways men can have a good time with each other without all the effort that goes into preparing for anal sex.

However, I will tease about the propriety rules and the usage of a blanket for modesty purposes. I completely accept this compromise for the safety of the actors and broadcast rules, but I know that I am not hotboxing myself when I’m trying to focus.

That’s all I wanted to say. I’d love for the folks who saw Destiny Seeker to chime in again about the work that show did on the presentation of m/m intimacy in BL in light of the Wandee Goodday scene. Guys should suck dick more often in BL as a sufficient enough act for spontaneous sex without implying that somehow raw, unlubricated anal works in a bathroom.

#Ben writes #wandee goodday #wandee goodday the series #bl meta #thai bl

[the-crooked-library]

i think the primary reason why K/S has such overwhelming appeal is and always shall be that it is, at its core, a soulmate bond that has to be forged. the only way a t'hy'la bond can manifest is through shared toil, hardships, and undying devotion; it must be given effort and put together piece by piece - but at the same time, by the nature of its creation, it alters all realities on a cosmic level, to the point that Kirk and Spock must meet in every universe.

t'hy'la is not spontaneous. it is not a soulmate mark, it doesn't spring to life at first sight or first touch or first word. it is destined - because it is chosen, time and time again. you cannot have one without the other

#star trek #spirk #k/s #spock #kirk #s'chn t'gai spock #james t kirk #captain kirk #see it's about the will of two people intertwined with the will of the stars. it's about devotion being the Point #k/s said Do Not Separate #so the universe said ugh fine but no soulmate marks no freebies no guarantee you'll ever know each other or fall in love again #and k/s said Bet #see the core appeal of the soulmate tropes is not Spontaneity. it's Reassurance #it is a guarantee that someone out there is Meant to love you and it appeals to people who have been fundamentally Unloved #and k/s still absolutely has That #but at the same time. the core appeal of a slowburn is the time and effort and history it takes to build something lasting and powerful #and k/s is also That in every way #you cannot have one without the other #no destiny without love no love without effort no effort without will no will without life no life without destiny #and it all goes full circle #k/s said we will be Destined because we will make it so

[syekick-powers]

you know. playing ocarina of time (and eventually majora’s mask) again. i have a lot of thoughts about OOT!Link. like. a lot of people claim that majora’s mask is “the darkest zelda game”. and i can see why one would make that claim--MM has an incredibly oppressive and stressful atmosphere, constantly pushing down on the player with this incredibly small time limit, constantly reminding the player that the apocalypse hangs right above their heads and is always getting closer, constantly reminding the player that everyone in termina is going to die unless you can somehow reverse it in this tiny little infinitesimally small period of three days. but MM’s ending is hopeful. and imo, compared to OOT’s ending, MM’s ending is much more optimistic. because IIRC in ocarina of time, link pulling the master sword out of the pedestal created two separate timelines--the “adult” timeline and the “child” timeline. all the shit that link does in the “adult” timeline happens after ganondorf takes over and ruins hyrule. you spend all this time in this timeline trying so hard to undo the damage that ganondorf did to the land. you try to help all the people he hurt, all the places he destroyed. you go through an immense amount of suffering and trauma to reverse this horrible future, and in the end, you do defeat ganondorf in that timeline. and at the end of it, zelda plays the ocarina of time and sends link back to the “child” timeline. in that timeline, zelda as a child warns the king of hyrule about ganondorf’s evil intentions and prevents ganondorf from gaining enough of a foothold to take over hyrule. the horrible things you worked so desperately hard to reverse never even happen. you have the memories of the pain and suffering you went through and the effort you expended, forever etched into your mind--but the evidence of all of that pain and suffering has been erased by the flow of time. all the evidence of the effort you put into saving hyrule is gone. the only place it exists is within you. and frankly, that is way more emotionally agonizing to me than majora’s mask is. because in majora’s mask, the effort you put into saving termina has a tangible impact. sure, you’re being forced to save the world all over again (and this time it’s not even part of your grand heroic destiny, you just accidentally fall into this doomed world and have to save it because it’s the only thing you know how to do). sure, you have to go through another painful series of trials in order to prevent the imminent apocalypse. but... the effort you expend to save termina matters. you help so many of termina’s inhabitants, reversing the horrible misery in every region of termina one by one by one. by helping each individual in termina to solve their problems, free them of their regrets, reverse the damage that majora has wrought upon every person in termina... you can save everyone. you can help everyone. and instead of being sent back to the beginning before everything could go wrong, the people of termina will remember the positive impact you had on their lives. from your smallest gesture to the biggest, most heroic battles you fight--all of it matters. pamela will remember you reversing the gibdo curse on her father. kafei and anju will remember you reuniting them in the final hours of termina. fuck, grog, the dude who raised chickens in the cucco shack in romani ranch will remember you using the bremen mask to bring his chickens to full maturity so he could see them in their fully grown glory before the apocalypse, which allowed him to shed his one and only regret. to me, majora’s mask’s ending feels so much more emotionally cathartic than ocarina of time’s ending, because your efforts to help every individual in termina are not simply wiped out. the evidence of all the work you put in to helping everyone in termina does not disappear. it doesn’t leave you feeling like all the pain you went through to fix everything simply slipped from your fingers like sand. majora’s mask has a dark atmosphere, for sure, but the game’s ending is among the most optimistic of all zelda games. because you can help everyone. and your efforts to help everyone leave an impact in ways that aren’t often seen in other zelda games. like yeah other zelda games have sidequests where you can help random NPCs do xyz thing that they’re struggling with. but the looming apocalypse in MM somehow makes all those little sidequests have such a massive amount of emotional resonance. like just. i mentioned grog and his chickens because that particular sidequest really struck me the first time i played majora’s mask. the way grog says to you that now he sees his chickens fully grown, he has no more regrets, and he’s completely satisfied. knowing that the apocalypse is looming over termina just makes that comment have such an impact. you are able to completely resolve this person’s final regrets, and he feels like he can face death without any pain. the sidequest seems very inconsequential at first, but hearing him say that he has no more regrets, and looking up at the moon getting closer--it just is so emotionally powerful. feeling like you can make a big difference in one person’s life over something that seems insignificant to you, but means everything to them... it’s just such a powerful feeling. it really just causes all the sidequests in MM to hit differently from literally any other zelda game.

idk lads this is a long rambling post but i feel very strongly about OOT and MM and i’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. esp since i’m really close to beating OOT now in my recent playthrough. i can understand why people make the claim that MM is the “darkest zelda game”, but i feel like that doesn’t really give full credit to 1) the inherently optimistic and hopeful message of majora’s mask, and 2) the incredibly tragic nature of the ending of ocarina of time. both games are masterpieces still to this day, but i feel like the common perception of both of them doesn’t fully wrap around the emotional payloads of both games. ocarina of time’s emotional payload is ultimately quite painful, whereas majora’s mask emotional payload is unrestrainedly joyful and optimistic. please look at these games more closely before making sweeping generalizations about which one is “darker”.

#sye's babbles #still very heavily recommend that video essay on youtube titled 'every zelda is the darkest zelda' #it does a very good job describing how all the other zelda games have a thoroughly tragic through line woven into them #like dont get me wrong i fucking love majora's mask #it is still my favorite zelda game to this day #but i feel like too many people react to the atmosphere of the game #without paying attention to the messages written into the subtext #and that message is #'helping people is always a noble cause no matter how insignificant your efforts may seem' #'and if you help enough people your efforts are no longer insignificant because they will add up' #'and leave a true and lasting positive impact on the world around you' #which is IMO one of the most optimistic themes seen in any zelda game #especially since saving termina isn't part of link's grand destiny #he didn't HAVE to save termina. he was not told by the great deku tree to save termina as well. #his destiny was to save hyrule specifically #so once OOT was over link's heroic destiny had been fulfilled #he wasn't obligated by fate to help the people of termina #he did it because it was the right thing to do #he did it because helping people is never inconsequential no matter how small the effects may seem #*he didn't have to do that but he did so anyway because he knew that it was the right thing to do.* #it's an incredibly powerful message to send to children and it informed my worldview so much growing up

[cepheustarot]

Who will appear in your life soon and why?

Attention! This reading is for entertainment purposes only. This tarot reading does not give a 100% guarantee that all the described situations will occur or being ultimate truth. You build your own life and destiny and only you know yourself best.

✧ Masterlist ✧ Paid readings

Pick a pile. Choose one or more pictures. Trust your intuition.

Pile 1: An optimistic and cheerful person will soon appear in your life, who is looking for the pros and positives in everything. By themself this person is calm, reacts calmly to difficulties and problems in life because he believes that everything can be overcome. This person is able to adapt to sudden changes but prefers a stable life without impulsive changes. They can also be called moderately emotional, they do not dramatize and do not react sharply to anything but they are not stingy with feelings. By the way, they are very good friends, loyal, always ready to support and help, ready to help with solving any problem. They can also be generous, constantly give gifts, can pay the bill at the store / cafe for you, can get tickets and invite you to an event, to a movie, etc. Next to this person, there is a feeling as like a stone wall, you can always rely on them, you feel calmer with them. But this person can be very picky and categorical at times as they may have a peculiar taste and therefore it is difficult to make a choice. This person can also fall into melancholy, apathy at times and at such moments becomes uncommunicative, talks little, shares something, generally closes themself in. During such a period it is important to support them the same way they do and then they will be able to return to their former state soon.  This person will appear in your life as support and help in order to fulfill your goal. They can either directly participate in achieving the goal (for example, motivate, work with you on, be in the role of your coach, etc.), or morally support. To a greater extent I see that this person will play a role in realizing your desires but this does not mean that they will do everything for you, they will inspire you to take action.

Pile 2: A very emotional and sensitive person will soon appear in your life, to some extent i can say that they like to romanticize a lot around them, like to create aesthetics and a certain atmosphere, look beautiful, dress up, decorate a room or something like this. I see that they like to create something with their own hands and their activities have creative features, for example, they can draw, write, create something from clay, they can create compositions from flowers, do scrapbooking and everything like that. As I said earlier, they are very sensitive, they may have developed high emotional intelligence, their facial expressions are very emotional, they may have competent speech in which it is very rare to hear word-parasites. They deeply appreciate the connection with loved ones and if you can get closer and trust each other, then such a person will remain in your life for a long time. They also work a lot of time, they are purposeful but they need to see the result, otherwise their work will come to naught without it. They can become very attached to things because for them it is something memorable and associated with significant events in their lives.  This person will come into your life as an employee, a work partner, you can work on a project with him, make a deal, you can come up with ideas for creating something (here you can also include the creative sphere, for example, you will write a song together, you will work on creating a book, a series of short stories, you will do the feat). Cooperation with him will be painstaking, very saturated, sometimes difficult, as it is difficult to get along with them or you may not agree on some nuances but the result of the work done will definitely please you two and your efforts will pay off, bear fruit.

Pile 3: A somewhat mysterious, cold, detached and introverted person will soon appear in your life. They do not really like to talk about themselves, show their intentions and attitudes to a person not through words but through actions and deeds, through their behavior. This person likes to spend time with himself, they generally may not consciously make many friends, acquaintances, like to be alone, they value their personal space very much. They are also anxious individuals, constantly immersed in their thoughts, they may have low self-esteem which they hide very much behind their behavior. It is difficult for them to make a choice, they are very indecisive and very easily give in to pressure from the outside. They probably have as many complexes and fears. But at the same time, they are very smart, hardworking and diligent, erudite, they like to act according to a plan, they have everything clearly thought out and calculated. They are also passionate about a lot of things and have a lot of knowledge, know a lot of facts, can support almost any topic with this knowledge. They are curious, inquisitive, like to learn new things, explore something.  Speaking of why such a person will appear in your life... To be honest, I don't see any positive aspects here. They play the role of a person here, a third person who spoils relationships with people and they can negatively affect your relationships with friends, family or acquaintances in the company which will cause a strong quarrel between you. So for the most part, this is a warning, be careful! Perhaps these people will want to "take revenge" on you in this way or frame you because they dislike or have a personal dislike for you. They could also be offended by you because of some trifle but for them this trifle looks like a whole tragedy.

Thank you for reading! I will be glad of any feedback 🖤

#tarot #tarot cards #pick a card #pick a card reading #pick a pile #pick a pile reading #tarot reading #pac #pick a picture #pick a photo

[yawnderu]

Simon ''Ghost'' Riley — Masterlist 💀🖤

cr: @ave661

Simon Riley Moodboard | Smut Masterlist | Bimbo!Reader Masterlist | Dad!Ghost Masterlist

This Masterlist only has the material I've created in 2024. To explore older works, you can check my Main Masterlist, or use the tags #Simon Riley x Fem!Reader or #Ghost mw2 on my profile to access all my works!

Do not translate, post, or put my content into AI tools.

Ongoing Series Lorelei

Synopsis: Aware of the way his lifestyle doesn't align with your dream life and unwilling to quit his life as a soldier, Simon breaks things off with you. It isn't until a year later that he sees you again, a tiny carbon copy of him held in your arms.

K-9

Simon Riley and his pathetic efforts to get close to the new medic will earn him a scar or two

or

Simon Riley is in love with an uninterested, tired medic.

Angel

Synopsis: Afraid of giving you the same destiny all his loved ones met, an emotionally unavailable Simon does his best to pretend being in love with you for one night, later deciding to introduce you to the one person who can give you the love you want; John Price.

Smut

Silly love-making

Simon's obsession with pornstar!reader

Sex on camera

No man could act this good

Using his naked body for art purposes

Love-making

FWB!Simon cucking your hookup

Tattoo Artist!Simon

Prettiest girl in Edinburgh

Hybrid cat!Reader tag teamed by Simon and Johnny

Soul-crushing devotion and medical emergencies

AI!Reader gets a physical body

Neet!Reader jerks him off

Hybrid wolf!Simon x Catgirl!Reader

Sleep-walking, but fucking instead

Simon becomes vocal when give him blowjobs

Rimming him

Monster fucker

Dick headcanons

Catgirl in heat

Drabbles

Gym bros Johnny and Simon

Creature!Reader

Tag team 🌶️

Simon Riley is a stray, roughed up cat

Seduction goes against the rules

Nymphomaniac!Reader

Immortal!Reader

The phrase ''the wife'' is always in Simon's mouth

Choking🌶️

Cock warming🌶️

Lipstick marks on his cock

Neet!Reader sniffing his armpits

Milf!Reader drives Simon insane🌶️

Military high ranked!Reader

What turns him off

I have no faith, but I believe in you

You and your daughter love his tattooed arm

Simon is a furnace

Creature!Reader cuddles

Asking for sex after he had a bad day

Cumming too early🌶️

Wearing a white wife beater

Girl dad

Raccoon

Simon makes weird faces under the mask

Juiciest ass in the Task Force

Bulking

Dating a MILF

Naked cuddles

Relationship similar to Batman and Catwoman

Work Song

Cumming on your glasses🌶️

Touch starvation

Fluff & Hurt/Comfort

Expensive presents

Displays of trust

The most broken man turns to religion when you're hurt

A man without big pecs is like an angel without wings

Simon Riley was made for soul-crushing devotion

Broken man in love

Cuddles after a bad day

Simon is a giant black cat

Ai!Assistant Reader

Ai!Assistant Reader bothering Simon

Second chance at being an uncle to your niece

''I'll be the weapon when he needs protection''

Moody catgirl

Red panda hybrid!Reader

Hiccups during sex🌶️

First relationship

Angst

Emotionally unavailable

Immortal!Reader doesn't come back to life

Angel - Part I | Part II

#simon riley x you #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon ghost x you #ghost call of duty #ghost mw2 #ghost cod #ghost #cod mw2 #cod mwii #ghost x reader #ghost x you #simon riley x y/n #simon riley fluff #call of duty #mw2 ghost #mw2 #cod #modern warfare 2 #cod mw3 #ghost mw3 #mw3 #call of duty mw3 #mwii #ghost x fem!reader #ghost x female reader #ghost x y/n #simon x reader

[httpsghostie]

Under one Roof pt 1

pt 2

OK finally IT'S HERE

smh I'm down bad for roommate ghost I am sobbing

my hand is literally burning I wrote this aT COLLEGE

and YES my love language is food pls dont come for me

Summary: you never knew you needed a military roommate until you've got one.

Word Count: 1k (sorry it's short

Warnings: roommate!ghost x female!reader, slightly suggestive (if you squint), mentions of trauma, fluff/comfort, no use of y/n

masterlist

Ghost was an old friend of a friend of yours, and he happened to be needing a place to stay for a while, that ended up being a few more months, and now it's currently been a year since he moved in. He doesn't plan on leaving, you know it, you know that despite the independent man that he is, he likes having someone to come home to.

He was cold at first, so cold. And for many nights you cursed yourself for letting that rock of a heart get into your sweet home. He wouldn't talk much when he was there, you'd almost forget he was around if it wasn't for random coughs or sneezes.

That man smoked like a chimney in the first days he's spent around, he was anxious and that wasn't very cute, he was always smelling like cigarettes, but thankfully he didn't smoke inside.

He appreciated your effort on cooking for the two of you, but you couldn't help it. How could he survive when he wasn't eating properly? Yes, frozen pizza is cool… until it's the third day in a row that you're eating frozen and instant food and you can barely stand.

He also had a fucked up sleeping schedule that you just went along with it, you once got scared when you walked in the kitchen and found him just laying on the wall, eyes closed and snoring slightly. That day you scolded him to go back to his room and made him lay down on the bed.

"You're gonna lay down on this bed and you're gonna have some nice hours of sleep, alright? I'm gonna leave the door open, if I see you awake I'm punching you." You sounded like a mother, almost, and he was so tired he couldn't fight back.

And the days went by, he'd go away, he'd come back as tired as he left. But at least he was slowly opening up to be a really cool guy. You two started to bond, and the more he talked, the more you wanted to spend time with him.

Oh and don't even get started on dad jokes, he's cracking them up whenever he's helping with house chores, or when you two are eating peacefully.

He became a friend, a very good friend, one that wouldn't mind you venting out to, plus he was a good listener. He'd just sit there listening to whatever haze your brain was going through, and slowly he learned that he shouldn't be giving you reasonable ways to solve your problems, he should just tell you it would be ok.

And you found yourself slowly falling for him. Of course destiny had to put you together. Only if it wasn't for the way he handled things around the house.

"Oh, the living room lamp broke? Let me fix it."

"Those boxes are heavy, hand them to me."

"Go find a movie for us to watch, I'll do the dishes. Find a good one, though."

"Goddamnit, I told you not to be climbing on that fucking balcony, you're not a cat, you're gonna hurt yourself one day." Said as he picked you up when you were trying to reach the top of the cabinet. "Just ask me, I can reach it without putting myself in danger."

Or maybe if it wasn't for the fact that he'd purposefully get out of the shower with that pretty little towel wrapped around his body, that made you clench your fists. The way he was still a bit wet, a few drops running down his abs. He was surprisingly cool with his scars around you, maybe because you didn't make a big deal out of it.

That's because it wasn't. You expected that when Gaz, your friend, told you that the friend he was sending to you was his 'work buddy'. And he phrased it exactly like that. 

"Don't mind him, he's big and scary, but he'll be a good roommate, I promise, he's my work buddy." You chuckled when you read the text.

And yet Ghost didn't mind the stare of admiration coming from your burning gaze across the living room, when you thought the most ungodly things a brain has seen.

He started to become more and more warm, he found safe with you, like you could actually be his home. One night, he found a deep conection with you when you were casually drinking together, sat by the coffee table, playing video games. 

She should know the truth about me.

He thought. And that was the night he dropped his heavy armor. He told you the bare surface of his past, even though most of it had been blocked from his memory, like a dark spot he couldn't remember, and would die without trying to take a peak at it.

You cried, and he couldn't understand why you were crying until you said it wasn't his fault.

"It's not your fault, you didn't deserve any of this." You sobbed, hugging him close.

He broke down. Like he needed someone to reassure him that he wasn't the villain from his past. He realized what you meant to him, and he swore to God he would try his best to come home to you when he had to work.

Some days were strange after that, like he regretted telling you about his story. He had that feeling in his gut that you weren't looking at him the same way, like you were pity. He didn't want your pity, he hated that look on your face.

But that changed.

He had come home one day, texting you while he was at the airport waiting for a ride. You ran to get groceries and make him a good meal, but the only thing that came to your mind was the old recipe of lasagna you kept from your grannie.

That old lady, always saving your life.

#cod mw2 #ghost cod #cod fanfic #cod mwii #simon ghost riley #simon riley #cod modern warfare #cod x reader #ghost simon riley #ghost x reader #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost #ghost call of duty

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

me, at age 13: these fucking classics are EMPTY. The Great Gatsby is a box with nothing in it.

me, age 26: The Great Gatsby is the last and greatest crime story that will ever be written in English. It is about time as a trap, greed and opportunism as a trap, technology as a trap. It is about the waste of effort and suffering and the shrug, the cycle of passing the buck without ever owning up to anything. It is about going down into the lower depths, and the possibility of death there being the lesser evil; but there is no escape, and the law of entropy will not allow anything to be created there, only consumed. It is about the things that do not love us, or cannot love us: money and time and our destinies and the laws of the universe. It is about Jazz and about the colors of yellow and green. It's a cosmic horror story about inability.

#blah blah blah #gatsby

[2-dsimp]

Hey, @2-dsimp!

Idk if you're still doing request for Genshin, but if you are, can you please do Éclair + Devil cake for Albedo (I don't care if this dude is a synthetic human, he still needs some love-)

(Btw I was thinking of Villain!Albedo x Hero!Fem!Reader)

If you don't wanna do it if fine ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

～【Smutty imagines】🍒

→《Ft! FEM READER》

————————————————————————

[🔞] Case study #1 [🔞]—> ft! Villianous! Albedo! NSFW MDNI, Mindbreak, coercion, dubcon, slight bimbofication, praise, unhinged behavior, yandere tendencies, cockworship, deepthroat, male oral recieve! Slight humiliation

————————————————————————

『Albedo conditioning You to be his cumdump』

。Albedo was only trying to help you. Although you may have seen him as an arch nemesis he saw you to be his destiny. Why else would he bother holding back on destroying that worthless city of which he could’ve easily could’ve terminated without a moments notice?

。He was utterly enamored by you and tried his best to persuade that thick skull of yours to abandon those parasites and join his side. But no matter how much he tried to get you to see reason you’d only brush off his efforts. Despite how frustrating it was, that stubbornness of yours was his favorite quality about you.

。He tricked you into coming to his aid under the pretense of helping him turn over a new leaf only to trap you within his penthouse. Making you wear an electronic collar, all the more to help discipline and mold you into the woman he knew you’d eventually become in all due time. His sweet obedient housewife.

。It made him wonder how long it would take to break you.

→ “I’m so proud of how far you’ve progressed my love, haah you’re taking in my cock so well, so willingly…with such eagerness.”

。He’d groan, languidly humping his pelvis against your face. Pulling on your hair so you could properly cater to servicing his throbbing pretty cock adorned in prominent veins from balls to his pink tip. As he suffocates you with his heavy balls that were bench pressed against your nose. Hypnotizing you with his enticing musk of which he infused with certain pheromones to help you become more of a willing participant.

→ “Yes keep it up darling, don’t stop until you make me cum. Don’t You wanna please me? Mmh make your husband feel so wonderful just like the good girl that I know you are?”

。He rasped reaching his breaking point from the sloppy toppy you gave his mushroom pearly tip so reverently and his hips stuttered as he pulled you up by your hair and shoved your face to take his rod to the hilt. Allowing you to feel his abdomen and balls flexing against the cockdrunk expression present against your face.

→”Fuck, I love how you attempt to take every last drop. You’re such a pretty little wife for me when you’re obedient. Now smile for the camera love I’ve got to document how well you’ve grown to adapt to being mine.”

。Albedo praised with a small smile. He felt so complete spurting his hot sticky load into your open mouth. Filming your face in his baby batter while he was content in watching his outload drip from down to your chin. Watching you with satisfaction and pride that you belong to him and no one else. As you tried your best to swallow every bit of his manhood’s nectar.

。Snap!

。The sound of a camera shutter going off echoed throughout the room. As the villain captured your messy face all filled with his creamy load. To mark a corner stone in yalls happy relationship where you acted as his ever so faithful housewife.

→ “You’re so perfect when you’re under my control.”

————————————————————————

A/n: I’m back in business yall! ٩(˃̶͈̀௰˂̶͈́)و

#genshin impact #genshin impact smut #yandere genshin x reader #yandere genshin impact #yandere albedo #yandere albedo x reader #albedo smut #albedo headcanons #albedo imagines #albedo x reader #albedo x y/n #albedo x you #albedo scenarios #villain albedo #mind break #tw praise kink #bimboification #genshin smut #yandere imagines #yandere scenarios #yanderecore #smutty imagines 🍒 #fem darling

[mask131]

Some people are very confused about why, in the myth of the Judgement of Paris, the three goddesses who fall for the Apple of Discord trick are Aphrodite, Hera and Athena. They usually understand why Aphrodite and Hera would fall for the trick of "the most beautiful" - one is the goddess of love, sexuality, romance and beauty ; the other is the queen of the goddesses. But when it comes to Athena, they tend to have a hard time seeing the goddess of wisdom, war, peace, intelligence and virginity get enroled into a "I'm more beautiful than you" petty feud.

... Except it is very much in line with her character, and yes, these three deities are in classical mythology the most vain of the goddesses.

Now, I will here use both Greek and Roman example mixed together because I do not have time to do a thorough split and explanation for everything - so rather let us take an overview of the goddesses' legends as a whole, throughout the centuries.

Aphrodite is vain, this is something that has been established regularly. She is a being of seduction and love, she is the most beautiful of the goddesses since birth and if it wasn't enough she had her husband create a magical belt for her that makes her attractive to anyone who sees her (a husband she cheated on with one of the worst gods of Greek mythology just because said husband was ugly and the other god was hot. Hated but hot.)

One version of Echo's legend has Pan's unrequired love for her caused by Aphrodite as a punishment for not giving her the "most beautiful" award (and turned the other contestant who won into a shark). Aphrodite persecuted Psyche because she was said to be more beautiful than her. Myrrha was cursed by Aphrodite to fall in love with her father because her mother claimed she was more beautiful than the goddess. And there's a lot of other tales like that - so it is well established that not only is Aphrodite the most beautiful goddess, she makes all of her efforts to stay that way and will be VERY angry if anyone refuses her this title (sounds a bit insecure if you ask me but what do I know?)

If we go to Hera, we have again a certain case of pride and a status to be held. Hera is renowned for her beautiful eyes (the famous "cow-eyes" which no, are not an insult, but where an Ancient Greek compliment, because cow-eyes were deemed to be beautiful), and she is the queen of the gods, Zeus' eternal queen, THE first goddess among them all. That's a certain status to hold - and since she is known to have a bad temper, this comes of as a form of vanity and jealousy. The fact Herakles was named Herakles, "the glory of Hera", was precisely in an attempt to appease the goddess' wrath by appealing to her with flattery (turns out it didn't work). Remember: when Zeus had children of his own, without female help, such as Athena (or rather when it looked like he produced Athena on his own), Hera got pissed off because she saw this as a personal offense and tried to have a child of her own without Zeus just to prove him she could do it too (and the result was always disastrous, ranging from Hephaistos to FRIGGIN TYPHON).

This also ties into the whole idea of Hera persecuting Zeus' lovers and "bastards" out of jealousy. Note that she does not persecute ALL of Zeus' lovers, nor does she persecutes all of his extra-marital children... She always picks up those that Zeus seems to favor. That was why it all started with Herakles: Zeus was boasting about how he was going to shower his son with great gifts and a glorious destiny and all that, and Hera wouldn't have that. But she did not persecute Herakles' mother in any way... Just the son that Zeus clearly favoritized. And it becomes VERY obvious Hera's jealousy is not just related to a case of "cheating" in the case of Leto. Hera persecuted Leto for bearing Zeus' children and being deemed more beautiful than her by Zeus... When the myths are clear that Leto was Zeus companion (and possible wife) BEFORE Hera married Zeus. Before this whole story became another one of Zeus' cheating cases, this was a tale of Hera, unmarried to Zeus yet, simply being jealous of Leto being deemed more beautiful than her.

So this was all quite well established... But what about Athena, then, you ask?

Athena is also vain. I am sorry to announce it to you, but all the goddesses of Ancient Greeks have a flaw in myths (not in religion though, in religion all the goddesses are perfect and benevolent, but in legends and texts they are human-like with flaws and vices), and Athena's personal vice is vanity. The whole Arachne myth has sometimes been interpreted as a manifestation of Athena's personal pettiness, as in she cannot stand that someone is better than her at weaving. (It is a bit complicated since as I said before the legend of Arachne is purely Roman not Greek but I also told you I was going to mix Roman and Greek today so you have been warned). Even outside of the legend of Arachne, there is the legend of the flute - how Athena invented the first flute, but then cast it away and cursed it because when she played it, she looked ugly and people mocked her. This is probably the most famous legend about her vanity. And as I posted a long time ago - while this version of Medusa's legend was mostly lost to time because we lack the text, and it was preserved in scholia, we know that by Classical Greece the legend of Athena turning Medusa into a monster was quite popular... but it was all about Medusa being more beautiful than Athena, hence her being turned into a monster.

There's also a legend of a Meropis turned into an owl for mocking Athena's eye-color...

Anyway! Conclusion, it makes sense in the wider scope of Greco-Roman mythology to have these three goddesses be the one to fall for Eris' scheme, because they are the three most vain Olympian goddesses. Now it would have been weird if the candidates would have been, I don't know... Demeter or Hestia. These goddesses are not renowned for any vanity. But Athena? Yeah, makes sense.

EDIT: @teamrocketsfatknockers made a quite important point in a reblog and so I will add a point to my article.

I will insist that all I present to you above is from an "in-universe" point of view and a literal reading of the story. We are here talking of "humanized characterization" for the goddesses, and from a purely narrative, fictional point of view. That was my angle of attack: Why would Athena be considered "vain" in-story when we typically associate an asexual virgin who hates romance and is more into war and high-intellects with someone not much into superficiality or appearances.

But as I repeatedly said before, each myth has at least three levels of interpretation and three meaning warped in one. A religious meaning (though the one in the Judgement of Paris is... unknown to me so far), a literal meaning (as in we have a story, with characters, and this is a fiction) and a metaphorical or philosophical meaning. So I need to highlight that the myth of the Judgement of Paris can be read in a philosophical way as such. Why are these three goddesses searching for the Golden Apple aimed at the "fairest of them all"? Because all three of them embody the most attractive and seductive concepts a Greek man can ever hope for ; they are all three the ideals of Ancient Greek mindset and society. As such Paris' choice and the goddess' quarrels isn't about just satisfying the petty vanity of superficial divas anymore - it becomes a deep debate about which ideal, which dream is the most desirable for a Greek hero, and by extension for a Greek man. Hera is royalty, supremacy, political power and domination ; Athena is peace and wisdom, heroism and cleverness ; Aphrodite is romance, love, beauty and sexuality. And this all reflects within their gifts to Paris - which are in fact extension of what the goddesses themselves embody and represent.

You could sum it up as: Do you want to be a king, a hero or a lover? What would reward you most in life, a crown, a sword or a wife? What allures to you more, power, glory or romance?

Again, that's the beauty of the Greeks myths - and of all myths in the world. They depict simultaneously the gods as the pettiest more vicious selfish and flawed persons you ever met, basically warped caricatures of humanity... and as deep, profound, essential principles of human nature and human society, whose every interaction with mortals causes philosophical debates, ideological questioning and existential crisis.

#greek mythology #greek goddesses #greek goddess #athena #aphrodite #hera #judgement of paris #greek gods

[blonditarot]

What does the full moon want to say to you?

The moon lights up our path in the darkest nights. Take a deep breath and choose a pile to know what it wants you to know this month

Starting from the left 1 => 4

Pile one

6 of swords, 7 of pentacles rev, 3 of wands,

You’re doing great. You just have to try a bit more to leave behind the things that has caused you pain in the past. Stay hopeful my dear, don’t loose your focus now. Focus on work, think about long term solutions. The sky is the limit. Think about all the things you can have, the dreams you want to achieve. It’s possible. Don’t hold back, keep doing your thing. Don’t let them get to your head. You are enough, you are strong enough to do this on your own. A bit more effort and you will have it all.

Pile two

the hierophant rev, the wheel of fortune, 8 of cups, ace of wands,

Stand up to them. Go against them, do not put your head down. Fight for your believes for who you are. Their opinion doesn’t matter, your happiness does. Don’t listen to their voices, you know what your path should be, the world has your back. Leave those angry people behind, be yourself. They are just sad, they want you to stay down, because it’s comfortable for them. They want you down, but you will go up. Walk towards the better future, start new. Speak your mind and heart. You are better than that, leave them behind. It’s always been in your destiny.

Pile three

the magician, knight of pentacles rev, page of pentacles rev, queen of swords, ace of pentacles, knight of cups,

You have the power to have everything that you’ve ever wanted so why are you holding back? You are amazing, what are you scared of? You’re down because you want to stay down, you lost something, so what. Stand up from your knees, look at the past events again. Was it really something that happened to bring you down? Or are you going to use it for your advantage to make yourself stronger? Clear your mind. The next blessing is just around the corner. You will find the love that you deserve, it will come to you. I thought that was something you wanted? It’s all a part of our plan for you.

Pile four

the hanged man, 8 of cups rev, the tower,

My baby I know you’re trying to fix it. You are holding onto it so hard, you think it’s just a bad timing, it’s just a pause, everything will come back to what it was before, trying to find a new way to make it work. You’re afraid to let it go, you scared to be alone, to walk into the dark night without a compass. Nothing is forever, you are just avoiding the inevitable. Let it go. Let it fall down, don’t try to hold onto something that is already destroyed, that destroys you. Let it crush and burn. Remember after every fall there’s a way to get up.

#tarot reading #pick a card #pick a pile #free readings #free tarot #pac reading #pic a card tarot reading #tarot #paid tarot readings #paid readings #kpop tarot #kpop reading

[cameronspecial]

we all kmow drew loves to read and staying in, let’s make Dad!Drew staying in for the weekend and read to his 2 yo daughter and everything (hanging out, taking cute pics, doing her hair, play house) while reader going out with her friends and she felt a little guilty but he assured her that he loves spending time with their baby, so she should stop worrying.

Me And My Lady

Pairing: Dad!Drew Starkey x Reader

Warnings: Suggestion of Sex At The End

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 1.7K

Masterlist

“You be Ken, Daddy, and I be Chelsea,” Elizabeth orders, handing her father the doll. Most kids are obsessed with the titular character of Barbibe; however, Drew’s daughter loves her Chelsea doll with a passion. He takes it without hesitation, “'Cause I'm just Ken, anywhere else I'd be a ten. Is it my destiny to live and die a life of blonde fragility?” The singing goes over his daughter’s head and she begins the dialogue of the game. He isn’t too sure what exactly is going on; only catching every other word. He does hear cheating and divorce though, so he makes a mental note to ask Y/N if she has been watching Real Housewives with their daughter again. 

Around half an hour later, the young girl complains about being hungry, so the two of them get to cook dinner. He watches as the small hand grips the spatula and waves it back and forward, spreading tomato sauce over the lasagna slices. She accidentally yanks the utensil upward, which causes a splash of red to land on her nose. Drew laughs and Elizabeth goes crossed eyes to try to see what he is laughing at. This makes him laugh even harder and she joins in on the cheery mood. He takes the phone out, letting her put some sauce on his nose and angling the camera at both of them. They make a funny face and he takes multiple pictures. After their small photo shoot, the two of them finish making the lasagna and eat up their reward for their effort. He checks the time to see that it is the little one’s bedtime soon. “It’s bath time,” he announces. Excitement crosses her face because she loves being in the water. He helps her out of the chair and chuckles when she rushes to the bathroom. “Come on, Daddy,” she beckons from the other room. He jogs after her to find her sorting through her toys already, trying to figure out which one she wants to play with. The one thing she hates about bathtime is the three toys limit. 

He steps over the toys and plugs the drain so the tub will fill when he turns the tap on. As the water begins to occupy the hollow porcelain, Drew turns to his daughter and opens the cabinet beside the bath. “Do you want bubbles and what bath bomb do you want?” he questions. She looks up from her toys and examines the choices, “Can I use one of Mommy’s?” The cabinet is filled with bubbles for both Y/N and Elizabeth, but the bath bombs are divided between the two of them. Elizabeth’s are colourful and shaped in different forms, such as cats, unicorns, or dogs, while Y/N’s are more focused on the scents so they are less colourful and just round. Knowing his wife wouldn’t mind sharing, he nods. “Bubbles, please, and that one,” she answers, pointing to the light pink bath bomb that smells of roses. Drew grabs both of the chosen items, “Those are fine choices, My Lady.” Elizabeth giggles at the funny accent he uses and accepts the round object he hands her, dropping it into the tub when he instructs her to. 

Once the bubbles are in and the water is at an appropriate height, he helps her undress and sets her into the tub. He hands her the duck, the mermaid, and the boat she chose to play with, accepting the mermaid she gave him. “And we can swim all night together,” she recounts. The duck slaps against the water under the grip of the daughter. The force produces a large splash that hits her father in the face. His face scrunches as the water makes contact and drips to his neck. “Hahaha,” she yells. Drew fakes an angry look, “Grrr. You think that’s funny, Little Lady?” He dips his hand in the water and flicks some at his daughter. Her giggles intensify and she tries to get away from the attack. The warmth soon leaves her, creating a shiver in her. Upon seeing this, the father grabs the ducky hood towel from the hook and takes her out of the tub. He wraps it around her and runs his hands up and down her arms to create some heat. The floor is soaked because of their playing, so he takes a second to dry it with the floor towel. 

With the floor clean, he carries her to her room and they get her changed into her pyjamas. He runs the towel over her hair to get out as much moisture as he can. He takes the brush she hands him and runs it through her hair to get rid of the knots created in the bath. “Do we want one braid or two?” he confirms. She hmms for a little, “Two Fwench braids, please.” He divides her hair into two and then separates one of the sections into three. He begins weaving the strands together like his wife taught him and sings with his daughter whilst she waits for him to finish. 

“There you go, My Lady. Why don’t you go choose a bedtime story?” he encourages, watching her run to her bookcase. She spends about a minute looking at her options before choosing a book he knows she is going to pick because it has been her choice for a few nights now. She patters back to him and he helps her onto her big girl bed. Her head rests against his shoulder. He pretends he doesn’t see her thumb in her mouth even though Y/N would kill him for not stopping it. He thumbs through the book to find where they stopped last night and clears his throat to start reading. “To be, or not to be, that is the question.” The English major side of him loves that his daughter likes to read Shakespeare. He is sure she doesn’t understand anything he reads, yet he knows she enjoys it because she is always so attentive and she’ll ask what certain words will mean. Drew looks past the inappropriate subject matter of Hamlet for the two-year-old because it feels like a bonding experience for him. It is one of the reasons why he isn’t angry at Y/N for watching Real Housewives with Elizabeth. 

Ten minutes later, he fills her head relax as it digs into his muscles. He closes the book and kisses her forehead. His hand raises the blanket to her chin, turning on the night light. “I love you, My Lady,” he whispers. 

———

Drew is reading through Othello because he thinks it is what he and Elizabeth should read after Hamlet. She’ll like the witches’ scene. He hears the front door open and close. He shuts the book, placing it on the side table as his wife walks through the bedroom door. “Hey, did she go down to sleep okay?” she mumbles. Her back is facing him whilst she takes off her jewellery and places them on her vanity. His head bobs and he gets behind her. He hands her a makeup wipe, resting his chin on her shoulder. He observes her nighttime routine through the mirror. His lips press against her skin, “Yep, everything went by smoothly. We are almost done with Act Three for Hamlet. I’m thinking about reading Othello with her next. How was the club?” She hesitates about answering. Y/N honestly had an amazing time tonight. It felt so great not having to worry about another human being for an evening. She loves Elizabeth, except being a mom can create a lot of pressure. Even though the night was a success, guilt overcomes her when she meets her husband’s eyes in the mirror. Drew hasn’t gone out at night with friends since he got back from work and she has been out three times. “It was fine,” she plays off, wiping her makeup off with the wipes he provided for her.

His brow arches at her tone, “Really, only fine? I saw Layton’s story. You looked like you were having a blast.” Her eyes fall to the vanity. “It must have been a trick of the light,” she shrugs. She goes for another wipe, except veiny hands stop her. He takes her hand in his and spins her so they face each other. Warm hands cup her cheek. “What’s wrong, My Queen? Why so glum?” he worries, brushing his thumb over her cheekbone. 

Her breath tickles his skin as she exhales, “Do you hate that I make you stay at home with Elizabeth when I go out?” His head shakes like an earthquake and he brings her in for a hug. He can feel the guilt oozing out of her. “No, of course not. I love Elizabeth. Why would I hate it?”

“I’m not saying that you hate her. I just wonder if you resent me for going out with the girls, which means you have sole parent duties for a night. You haven’t had a night out since she was born. I mean you go out, but never by yourself so that I have sole parent duties.” 

“You have sole duties when I work.”

“That’s different though. Just because you love your job doesn’t mean it is a personal outing for pleasure.”

“True.” 

She looks back at him with a pout, his last words intensifying her emotions. “Please don’t feel bad about this. I may not go out anymore, but I never used to go out that much before anyways, right?” he reminds her. She thinks about it, realizing that it is true. Whenever he went out, it was always with her by his side. She meets his gaze, “You are saying that to make me feel better.” His head moves from side to side. “No. I love having nights with me and My Lady. I mean they are perfect when it is me, My Lady, and My Queen, but if I can give you a much-needed break, then I am more than happy to help you with that. If anything, Elizabeth is my excuse to stay in.” A grin starts to grow on his face when he sees the tips of her lips flip upwards. “Well, I’m glad I made you the perfect excuse,” she jokes. His laugh joins her lightened mood, “You made me the best excuse. Maybe we should start working on another one. You know, to solidify our excuse.” His eyebrows waggle and she pulls him into a kiss with a smirk. Their giggles mix in the air as he locks their bedroom door and she flops onto their bed. 

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming @magicalyoura

#dad!drew #dad!drew starkey #drew starkey #drew #drew starkey imagine #drew starkey x reader #drew starkey fanfiction #drew starkey fluff #drew starkey x y/n #drew starkey x you #drew starkey x female reader

[cepheustarot]

Your future love relationship: with whom and what will be

Attention! This reading is for entertainment purposes only. This tarot reading does not give a 100% guarantee that all the described situations will occur or being ultimate truth. You build your own life and destiny and only you know yourself best.

Paid readings

Pick a pile. Choose one or more pictures. Trust your intuition.

Pile 1: This person will look strong, fit, most likely he often does sports and therefore he looks muscular. But in addition, he also has a strong inner core, he endures all stressful situations, solves all problems, he is not of those who give in to emotions, it is important for him to first deal with problems, things. He can also be called a determined man and all his achievements he achieves through hard work, through the efforts he has put in, he does a lot to realize himself, his desires. Self-fulfillment in life is just as important to him! This person is not only able to work well, but also to rest well, he really knows how to unload their head from complex thoughts and enjoy the moment without burdening himself with problems. It can also be called the soul of the company, as it emanates the aura of a friendly person, with whom it is easy to enter into a dialogue and can be discussed anything, it is easy for him to maintain a dialogue with anyone. In addition, he is energetic, active, he can have quick speech and active facial facial expressions, he can walk fast or do something quickly. He has leadership skills, he is able to lead people, he is able to work in a team, he is ready to take responsibility for his actions. 

Your relationship with this person will be very strong and stable, you will trust each other, maintain, together cope with difficulties, you will feel that you have become family to each other, you will have a strong connection between you, You will achieve much together. in addition to that you will have an understanding, your relationship will not be deprived of passion, playfulness, between you will be a lot of romance and flirting. 

Pile 2: I’d like to point out that maybe your partner will be younger than you! Or he can act like a child at times, be naive at certain points, but these details are not critical and should not prevent your relationship from developing. The person himself is quite lucky, successful, all his beginnings and new cases are accompanied by success. I would also call him unpredictable, his actions and thoughts are difficult to predict, as he has the traits of an adventurer and, figuratively speaking, today he will want to go to the other end of the world, and tomorrow will conquer the mountains. I mean, he’s pretty easy-going and he’s very easy to accept that kind of offer. By virtue of his character, he constantly gets into various stories, from which, of course, he gets out, because fate is on his side. Also this man is not deprived of romance, he quite openly shows his feelings and his love, a lot of flirts, give a lot of gifts, a lot of making nice gestures. The person himself is also emotional, he can quickly change mood. He is quite young and inexperienced, so he does not have enough experience of life, but nevertheless he is open to everything new in his life, in this respect he is quite bold. 

Your relationship with this person at the beginning will be filled with romance, you will be constantly together, as you are deeply in love with each other and without the presence of anyone near you will quickly miss each other. You can even idealize each other during this period! However, over time your sense of obsession will fade away and only love, warmth and affection between you will remain, you will be able to exist together, complementing each other, and separately, continuing to do your business. 

Pile 3: The person himself can be closed, it is difficult for him to open up to people, he is not inclined to show a lot of emotions and tell about his feelings, just it takes a lot of time to trust another. He has a realistic view of things, he tends to objectively assess the situation, relies on logic and facts, rather than on feelings and intuition, in the dispute it is important to prove his point of view rather than show empathy and look at the situation from the side. He can criticize people, but he is also self-critical, has high demands on himself and people, he is perfectionist, tends not to believe in himself and his powers, so he tries a lot to achieve results. Perhaps he’s still a troubled man, prone to thinking too much. He is also one of those who is willing to help people, extend a helping hand, support, he is happy to share his experience and advice, he is generous, honest with people, he appreciates people close to him. 

Your relationship will develop rapidly with this man, you may have common goals and plans and you will achieve them, you two will succeed! But I see here you may not see much of each other, you may meet from a distance and you may often miss each other. But at the same time you will be sincere in your feelings, you will love each other. 

Thank you for reading! I will be glad of any feedback 🖤

#tarot #tarot cards #pick a card #pick a card reading #tarot reading #pick a pile #pick a pile reading #pac

[eamour]

a method guide ⋮ 1 ⋮

there are so so so many methods you could make use of when manifesting … at times, it can really be challenging to maintain an overview of it all — which is why i made this guide for you! here, i want you to be able to find a method that aligns with you and your personality the most.

which method suits you ?

affirming ✿ you like to talk but also think a lot. affirming can be done in several ways, some like to complain about how well everything is, some sing about how lovey dovey their lives are and some just repeat affirmations robotically in their minds whenever they have the time or aren’t really occupied with anything. you like to make use of your free time and like to use as much time as possible to declare — but also to remind yourself! — that you have whatever you want. most effective for people that tend to overthink, get doubts frequently, forget about their desires and remain persistent in the old story.

visualising ✿ you are good at imagining things. you are creative and have fun creating scenes in your mind. you probably enjoy daydreaming and may also zone out sometimes throughout the day and get lost in your own imaginative world. most effective for people that replay unfavourable things that have happened in the 3D, tend to get lost imagining old circumstances or prefer to visualise desired scenarios rather than affirming.

askfirming ✿ you question many things. you are either a very curious person or ask yourself why things are the way they are in a rather comedic manner (or you like to complain a lot). again, you also think or talk a lot, similar to the people who like affirming, especially as askfirming is just another way of affirming. most effective for people that often end up asking themselves why nothing seems to work for them or struggle declaring that they already have their desires.

accepting ✿ you manifest the best way by just declaring that you have your desire once and then move on with your day. you have a clear mindset and have an easy time cutting out unwanted and negative thoughts as you don’t easily give in. most effective for people that have overconsumed or done many methods in the past to force a change in the 3D. info: accepting is something we all do, it’s not the method itself. the method here is called "affirming only once".

scripting ✿ you like to write. you like to predict things as it makes you (quite literally) feel like the author of your life. you like to determine your own fate and destiny. you also enjoy the process of writing. it could be analogous with a pen and a notebook or digitally on your phone, tablet or laptop. you also enjoy going into detail, making sure that everything goes according to your plan, but also like the satisfaction of "getting something done". most effective for people that like to be more specific about their desires (rather than using umbrella affirmations) and cannot repeat affirmations without wanting to write them down.

decreeing ✿ you like to command things. you have zero chill. you want something? you will make sure to get it. you have no time for bs and go straight to the point and remain faithful to your subconscious mind. you are quick and like to make manifesting as effortless as possible. most effective for people that get tired of affirming for too long or don’t want to put in any physical effort to make themselves feel fulfilled.

remember.

you can do any method, even if these descriptions don’t resonate with you. the reason i prepared this post is to guide people to a way of manifesting that resonates with them the most and also feels the most natural for them. because that‘s what manifesting is about! rising to the naturalness of consciousness of having or being the thing desired. and in order to do that, you shall feel natural about it. it’s up to you which method you want to try! if i was you, i would try each one and see which one (or how many) of them fulfill me the most. ♡

with love, ella.

#loa methods #law of assumption #neville goddard #loassumption #loa #manifestation #manifesting #the law of assumption #manifest #spiritual #spirituality #manifest it #manifesting it #master manifestor #affirm and persist #loa blog #loassblog #loablr #loa tumblr #scripting #affirming #affirmations #void state #sats #state akin to sleep #askfirmations #lullaby method #visualisation #visualizing #visualising

[bbanghiitomi]

| RRL (reviewing relationship lessons)

synopsis: dating kang haerin feels like waking up on a friday morning, looking forward to what may happen tomorrow (saturday), and tomorrow again (sunday)... then anxious about what may come next, then you're happy again because there's really nothing to be afraid of.

— newjeans!khaerin! × newjeans!fem!reader

(⁠☆⁠▽⁠☆⁠)(⁠☆⁠▽⁠☆⁠)(⁠☆⁠▽⁠☆⁠)(⁠☆⁠▽⁠☆⁠)(⁠☆⁠▽⁠☆⁠)

[posted in relationship advice forum!]

kittygokhrn • online

[my girlfriend...]

> what should i do when my girlfriend is upset and i don't have any idea why?

comments:

guestuser_1253 commented

> why is she upset?

user16277 commented

> tough, skill issue

guestuser_7937 commented

> the best option is to talk to her about it, you will never know why or what to do if you don't ask her.

"man these comments sure are useless..." haerin mutters under her breath as she shifts her gaze behind her laptop, as she sits on the dorm's sofa — she catches a glimpse of you from the kitchen, talking to minji while baking cupcakes and cookies. haerin feels a sense of jealousy, also guilt. she doesn't quite understand why you're so distant today, it's only tuesday and you haven't told her what the problem was, it's already getting inside haerin's head and is making her overthink about what she may have done wrong.

but alas, what the last commenter said was right, she's never going to know unless she asks you, it's not like you're going to telepathically tell her nor are you going to tell her without her asking. this is the worst part of becoming kang haerin, the lack of initiative and not being very confrontational about stuff... no matter how big or small it could be.

well it's hard — very, for someone like haerin confrontation isn't as easy as shutting up and waiting, maybe because waiting hurts less? or at least she can expect the worst and not be surprised, give her some time! she's just learning, and learning means making mistakes and adjusting of course.

it's not just her anymore, it's you and her.

which means anything she does may affect you, well great! no one told her it'll be that way. things just don't happen because of nature, somehow haerin remembers what she once read in a book before: existence precedes essence, it means that one person guides themselves towards their destiny through their choices.

haerin shudders thinking about it, that means whatever happens to her is her fault and only her fault. now, back to you — she remembers how sweet you were yesterday but today seems different, obviously you're still sweet but not as sweet (enough to give someone type 2 diabetes) as you were yesterday and that sucks for haerin because she loved your sweetness.

haerin tries to think back to what she did yesterday that may be possible to get you acting this way, but no matter how scrunches her face, she couldn't think of any reason why you're being so distant. if she continues waiting or not doing anything you may get more upset!

gosh, what did i do for her to act like this?

seriously, she doesn't know. given the fact that you're dating her for only 2 months, of course she's still trying to grasp your emotions, your actions, and your mood... you've been friends with her alright? she likes you, by a lot! the thing is that, haerin was never the type to really make a move when she was still crushing on you, which really meant you did most of the initiatives to get her to do something and she wasn't able to get to know you more aside from what she already knows.

it's embarrassing for her really...

haerin sighs and closes her macbook, she stretches and places the gadget on the wooden table in the living room before standing up and making her way to the kitchen to see you and now danielle as minji had to leave to help hyein with her school work. haerin glides her hand on the countertop, you're busy mixing the ingredients and your furrowed brows were the proof to your effort.

danielle on the other hand is watching over the oven to make sure none of the cookies are burnt.

"hey..." haerin calls out to you, eyes on you while you whisk the eggs. "hmmm?" you simply reply, haerin blinks yet her face has no reaction. she simply leans on the counter, with you being on the other side of the kitchen island and her on the other.

haerin pouts, moving her hand with her index finger sticking out as she reaches for your bracelet, which she made by the way. haerin pulls it gently, just to get your attention and which was of course — successful. you lift your head slightly to get a glimpse of her, with your eyes you see her looking up at you with her cat-like eyes, her contact lenses making her pupils look much more prominent.

you kind of feel the way your heart skips, wasn't part of the plan by the way — you didn't want to ignore haerin but you wanted to make her feel that you were quite disappointed with her dismissive behavior yesterday, when she brushed off min heejin in exchange for peace (an alone time with you). it's not like min heejin was mad or anything — actually, she didn't even mind it but of course, you did and you know haerin didn't even realize that she completely dismissed their ceo for you.

you don't like that! you don't like when people get ignored because of you! you know haerin, giving her a timeout even through being away from her by a small distance is enough to make her feel like something has to be wrong or out of the ordinary.

you know she doesn't like spending a day without talking to you or at least receiving hugs from you... and it's only 2pm!

"why are you ignoring me?" haerin asks, her voice is muffled by her arm that is folded on top of the counter in front of her face. the tone of her voice seems like she really wants you to know that it's bothering her, and correction — you're not even ignoring her, you literally greeted her when she woke up!

"i am not ignoring you haerin." you tell her, you see the way she scrunches her nose but only for a few seconds before she looks down again and back up at you. "in fact, i'm baking for us and i greeted you good morning earlier." you add, leaning close to her — haerin lets go of your bracelet when you shift your hands to place the bowl aside.

you really need her to be more specific about what she wants to know, because you're sure she's wondering if she's done something and all she has to do is ask.

you see danielle placing the newly baked cookies just beside haerin, haerin doesn't even spare any glance at the tray but just follows your traces. danielle leaves the kitchen to answer the telephone call from heejin and now it's just you and haerin.

haerin hums. "did i do something wrong yesterday?" she asks, fully leaning onto the countertop. you sigh as you stand in front of the kitchen island, a few meters away from her.

"it's not wrong, i guess... it's just not proper." haerin pushes herself up when you answer, her eyes widening. "w-what did i do?" she asks, though she tried to exclaim, her voice came out gentle and almost like a whisper. you know she's almost panicking, so you give her a small smile and walk to her side, not forgetting to grab the bag of icing.

"haerin, look — i know you love me but yesterday, i feel like you could've responded a little more attentively to heejin-nim yesterday. she was asking us nicely if we wanted to eat lunch with her, you know us three?" your shoulders slack, then you shrug, giving her a small smile. "you sounded uninterested and although you really wanted to spend the whole time with me — you shouldn't have shrugged her off like that. still, i love you haerin." you squeezed the icing out of the pipe and onto the cupcake.

"sorry... i got a little too carried away." haerin looks at your hands as she reaches to scratch her cheek, feeling her face warming up in embarrassment.

you remain quiet for a few minutes, finishing the icing before you place the bag down and face her, lifting your hand and touching her shoulder, then your fingers press against her neck. "i know... it's okay." you whisper, looking at her face — the way you stare made her flustered, feeling the familiar sound of her heart thumping banging in her ears.

she wants to stare back at you but you're making it hard for her.

baby boss (haerin-g)

[baby boss sent an image]

chicken nuggets...

chicken...

nuggets...

hi haerin!

you want chicken nuggets?

how many?

20...

chicken nuggets...

oh, okay!

i'm with minji-unnie, we're otw home!

i love you...

y/nnie...

kiss...

lol :P i love you too haerin!!!

(⁠〃ﾟ⁠3ﾟ⁠〃⁠)(⁠´⁠ε⁠｀⁠ ⁠)(⁠っ⁠˘⁠з⁠(⁠˘⁠⌣⁠˘⁠ )

HUGS AND KISSES!!!!

"bleh, you and your weird girlfriend." minji fakes disgust as she closes her eyes and turns her head away from you. "why are you spying on our conversation?" you ask, raising a brow at her, turning your phone sideways where she can't see the screen. "you have your screen brightness as bright as the sun on a sunday morning, probably that's why anyone within the distance of 50 meters would be able to read your messages." minji answers, still has her eyes shut as if she's got someone throwing acid at her eyes.

"okay... you didn't have to go off like that by the way — hey manager-nim! let's get 20 chicken nuggets for haerin!" you raise your hand, your manager looks at you and minji through the rear mirror and nods. "okay! there's a mcdonald's drive thru nearby." they answer before looking back at the road. minji finally opens her eyes and looks at you. "why does she want 20 chicken nuggets?" she asks, leaning on the seat.

today, you had a schedule for a magazine cover photoshoot with minji and although it was such a fun experience to have with your oldest member — it sure is tiring, this is why you never forget to thank the staff around after the schedule as they make the job a whole lot easier for you.

"because she wants some. why is it even a question?" you look up and then to minji — minji laughs and shakes her head. "oh nothing, just didn't expect her to have a borderline addiction to chicken nuggets. like — 20? guess she really did want to impress you before." minji shrugs, eyes shifting to the window and following the buildings with her eyes.

"i do think chicken nuggets are great — i'm happy to share that sentiment with her." you giggle, feeling your heart jump in joy — sometimes minji feels like if you were an inside out character, you'd probably only have like at least 5 joys, 5 angers, 5 fears, 5 disgust and 5 sadness — you express emotions 5 times more intensely than haerin.

imagine how crazy that is?

minji laughs when she imagines haerin having like 1/2 joy, maybe 1 anger, 1 disgust, 1/2 fear and 1/2 sadness and thinking about it more made her burst out laughing so hard.

"what is wrong with you?" you ask minji, watching her clutch her stomach in laughter. "oh my god... nothing — you and haerin are so perfect together!" minji dramatically wipes a tear off of her eye as she speak.

"you're just jealous and bitter." you scoff playfully, minji shrugs and lets out one last snicker. "you and hanni always say that." she shakes her head.

baby boss (haerin-g)

[boss baby sent an image]

hey this is us in another universe

;)))) how do u feel about that girl?

flattered actually,

spending my life with u again even in another universe is a dream

:'(((

i'm supposed to be flirting with you

and you're also supposed to be interacting with other celebrities there

but i don't mind talking to you

(⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡(⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡(⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

pshhh... i feel lonely here

i don't see why i, a 17 yrs old girl should be talking to adults

i don't know why i'm here anyway

'cause it's ur job

don't worry!! it's only for today, after that we can cuddle!

doesn't that excite you???

yeah, it does excite me

great!!!

i'm excited to go home now...

great...

so, ur just gonna stand in a corner? tapping your phone?

better than talking to strangers,

i miss you so bad.

:(((

i miss u too bb

so... what do u want to talk about?

anything actually, just ask me a question

good, would u love me if i was cursed by an evil witch and became a horse?

why a horse out of all animals?

i think you would be a frog, the small kind of frog.

and you'd be slimy because the witch knows you hate being slimy.

well it sounds like you won't love me

i would!!! if you were a slimy frog, i'd keep you in a large tank with the perfect ecosystem for you to thrive.

and i'll watch you every day.

i said a horse.

but i want you to be a frog,

what if i was the evil witch?

what..?

oh, heejin-nim is asking me to stop messaging you for a while lols

that sucks, should i bring my phone down?

you should! event's about to be over. hang on a bit!

"you smell so nice..." you whisper, head buried on haerin's back — she lays on her side, offering her back for you to lean on. "uh huh, thought you'd like me more if i smell like a watermelon." haerin snickers, a proud smirk written on her face as she feels you smothering her behind, rubbing your cheeks on her clothed back, arms wrapped around her waist. "you really do smell like a watermelon, i love it so much." you mutter, voice muffled by her tshirt that's been sprayed by a perfume resembling the scent of a fresh watermelon.

haerin had just gotten home from her trip out of the country and though she was tired, she couldn't help but give you the satisfaction to get a whiff of her watermelon scent that she bought from a store in her trip, thinking of you while on her way to pay for it.

"cool, if only hyein wouldn't take a bite out of me, i would be willing to smell like a watermelon everyday." haerin declares.

[posted in relationship advice forum!]

kittygokhrn • online

[gift ideas]

> i'm planning to surprise my girlfriend with a gift, what's something that's really romantic but simple?

comments:

usergo728294 commented

> a heartfelt message

guestuser77867 commented

> maybe some kisses and hugs??

guestuser_5667 commented

> a really cute ring!

"ah, thanks manager! me and haerin are off to get something, we'll be alright don't worry!" you link your arms with haerin's as you pull her to the exit of the building, you look at her and see her sharp eyes even with a cap on her head. you smile and tilt your head, beaming at her direction — her eyes relax at the sight of your face, it brings a smile on her lips even if it is covered with a mask.

"won't they go looking for us?" haerin whispers, both of you make your way to a sidewalk — it's only 5pm and after practice have just finished, you decide that it would be a good idea to hang out with her for even just a short amount of time — even just walking around the park and looking at anything, it's enough time to keep your head from going insane with the amount of burden work has left you.

you intertwine your fingers with hers, swaying both your hands together as you two walk in a moderately occupied street. although you'd like it better if it was just you and her, you can't help but at least feel a little more like an ordinary human loving someone with all these people around — it made you feel less of a robot, and it feels like you're just like everyone else.

"they probably will but, we'll be alright, right? i'm with you and you're with me, i don't have anything to be scared of." you say, moving closer to her — closing the gap between you and her figure. haerin looks away for only a bit, her eyes even as they were covered with the cap — looks like there were glimmering stars inside of them. "right, i'll make sure no one bothers us." haerin puffs her chest proudly, trying to seem big and mighty but all you can see is a cat — like a cat that stands on its two paws with it's two other paws raised.

"uh huh, bet no one will bother us if you hiss at them." you laugh, feeling the way your cheeks warm up at the sensation of her hand. "they won't." she says.

your eyes spots a small vendor selling beunggo-ppang — you pull down you mask and you look at haerin with a grin on your face. "let's get some snacks!" haerin tries to balance herself when you start pulling her to the vendor, approaching the stall with a bright smile. you buy two of the snack and reach out to give the other one to her.

"we have so much on our plate right now, so many events — photoshoots, filming... sometimes i wish we could get a long vacation or something." you start to talk once again when haerin takes your hand again and holds it tight, she looks at you as you speak, holding her snack in the other hand of hers. you look forward, seeing the sunset peeking behind the tall buildings as the light illuminates on your face.

haerin looks down on the snack on her hand, analyzes the warm fish-like bread, and sees the way the smoke wafts around. she then turns her head to look at you and feels the way her stomach twists, the way her heart thumps and her cheeks feel warmer than usual.

"i do too. if we get the chance to go spend a day even for only one day, where no one can recognize us. where would it be?" haerin asks, eyes looking for your eyes — she sees the sunset reflecting on your pupils. you stop walking and you stand near a playground at a park, it's empty with every kid and their guardians making their way home.

"me?" you point your index finger to yourself. haerin nods and underneath a mask is a smile on her lips.

"yes you."

"huh... if we had a chance to go somewhere without being recognized... i think i would want to go to an arcade." you answer before taking the last bite out of your beungo-ppang, haerin tilts her head as she looks at you, wondering what made you choose an arcade as your answer. "why an arcade?"

"i mean why not?" you shrug.

"i expected you'll answer like a theme park or a beach." haerin says. you laugh and nod.

you look at the dark sky, turning dark blue then to haerin's eyes. "well, both are nice too but whenever i think of theme parks and beaches, i prefer being with you guys. and if it were just the two of us, i wanted to be in a place like a local arcade — you know like, the two of us and maybe some other people who don't know us. and we'll feel like an ordinary couple doing couple stuff!" haerin nods.

"then it would feel less suffocating and scary, then we won't have to worry about what we don't know, what we expect and what may happen." you add, you take off your mask to fully show the smile on your face. haerin feels her heart clench, something not out of sadness — maybe, a bit because she wishes she could actually have you without being scared of a lot of things then again, she has you and you have her, what's there to be afraid of?

she's so happy that you feel that way about her, that you're as desperate as she is and as eager to do stuff together and cherish each other's presence. it makes her feel special, like haerin other than being an idol has something to be proud of. "i wish we can stop cosplaying and playing pretend to be highschool students in a mysterious world. but i really don't regret being an idol, besides having all these people who care about me i also met you." you tell her, haerin has completely forgotten about her snack — hand reaching out to hold you.

"y/n!" you get surprised with her outburst, she furrows her brows before the untouched snack on her hand falls on the ground and she starts looking for something in her pockets. "haerin..?" you mutter.

"here..! look, i have this ring for you." you watch as she shows a golden ring with a diamond ring — something she saw when she was doing her advertisement for dior. "—! is... that a ring? i know it is but, what for?" you ask, taken back.

"for you. because i love you! and i wanted to give this to you, i don't know why but i really really — really want you to have it." she rambles, you look at it and sees the way the diamond glimmers. "you think i deserve it?" you ask again, feeling hot tears well on the corner of your eyes.

"you do. seriously, that's why i got it because i couldn't help but think of you when i was looking at it." she explains, grabbing your other hand and slipping it on your ring finger.

"how did you know it fits?" you ask, looking at the ring on your finger, mesmerized by the way it shines.

"i... kind of just felt your fingers and went with my intuition." she laughs and shrugs, the way her eyes bend make you weak.

"i love it! it's so beautiful." you giggle, ecstatic.

"yeah i know, that's why i got it for you." haerin pulls her mask down and pulls you in a tight hug, you feel your heart jump and you let her be as she wraps her arms around you. "hey..." you mutter.

"i love you." haerin mutters, burying her face on your shoulder, sobbing. you place your hand on her waist, looking at her. "i love you too." you whisper, giggling in happiness.

[posted in relationship advice forum!]

kittygokhrn • online

[my girlfriend is sad]

> what to do if my gf is sad?

posted 18 hours ago...

your eyes scan the monitor of haerin's macbook, seeing the words from a website haerin have recently visited — she's asking a forum website, consulting strangers for help with you and her relationship. yesterday, after a schedule that lasted almost a whole day — you came home with the group and stayed inside your room, unmoving the whole time. maybe it's the neverending work, the lack of sleep, and the amount of coffee you took but you were feeling so sad.

you were lying on your side on the bad, sad and alone, haerin peeked to see you and felt compelled whether she should lay next to you or leave you be.

haerin entered your room, not forgetting to knock but you were so lost in your thoughts you have completely ignored her. she stood beside the bed, looking at your frame trying to decipher what may be the reason behind your sadness but have come to a conclusion that she may not know why.

the truth is that, you are also clueless to what is the reason why — you don't understand why you felt like this and don't understand why you can't understand.

you're just sad and tired.

haerin sat next to you in the bed, but kept her hands to herself. you still have your back facing her that time, it's not like you were ignoring her but you just didn't have the energy to turn around and talk nor even say anything about it.

haerin wanted to ask but she's contemplating if you would want to talk about it because she understood that there are times where people are just sad for no reason, it happens to her when she's feeling like a burnout.

it still bothered her, she really wanted to make you feel better but at the same time, she didn't want you to think or worry that once you tell her what you felt, you would think haerin sees herself as the problem.

after a while, she decided to leave your room and found herself in the dorm's living room, her macbook on the coffee table by the sofa. she sat on the sofa and started typing on her keyboard, that's where she found herself asking for help on the website and after waiting and more waiting, and some thinking — haerin fell asleep on the couch.

today, as soon as you wake up, you find her lying on the sofa, in a deep slumber.

you smile at the sight and crouch to the level of the sofa to take a good look at haerin, sees the way her eyes flutter and the way her chest rises. you get the urge to pinch her cheeks but resort to poking her cheek.

"love you haerin." you whisper before leaning in to kiss her temple and standing up to close her macbook before leaving to cook breakfast in the kitchen with the other girls.

#Spotify #female reader #kpop #kpop imagines #newjeans #newjeans imagines #girl group #girlgroup imagines #haerin x reader #kang haerin #newjeans haerin

[sandara-and-coco]

₊˚⊹⋆ Hello! As promised it’s time for the girls ! ₊˚⊹⋆

Sandara pulled off her jewelry making skills again to prepare these magical sandy rings for every sandrocker who wishes to propose to their soulmate ! So without further and just like the boys here’s a little story behind each design ;)

Nia - In a heartfelt request asked for a ring crafted in the essence of her dearest bloom, a symbol of love shared with her cherished one. Adorned with pink diamonds and fashioned from rose gold, it mirrors the sentiment embodied in the exquisite "Heart Blossom."

Grace - With a desire profound to gift her beloved a symbol of her unwavering support and sought to give them a keepsake to bear her essence wherever destiny may lead. Entrusting Sandara with the task, she envisioned a ring of pure white gold, cradling a gem akin to the one gracing her ears, a tangible testament to the boundless love she holds for her soulmate.

Catori - This ring was made with the very gold from the Golden Goose tokens at Catori's request so she could share a part of her passion with her promised one !

Venti - Came by with this special raw mineral she extracted herself asking Sandara to make the most unbreakable ring ever !

Amirah - Wanted a special ring to crystallize her emotions into a tangible treasure. She tenderly sought a ring that echoed the ethereal beauty of the Mountain Rose for her beloved.

Heidi - The architect of her own ring's design crafted a plan infused with finesse and elegant details, each element meticulously chosen to hold the strong bond she share with her soulmate.

Elsie - Envisioned for her loved one a ring that seamlessly blended elegance and practicality, a pretty jewel in shiny silver ornate with a deep blue gem that would also speak volumes about her journey with her beloved.

Jane - Wished for a jewel that could eloquently express her deep attachment to her most cherished one. The delicate butterflies adorning the piece carry a special message, symbol of their love and heralding a new beginning filled with boundless happiness and joyful moments yet to unfold !

Mi-An - Driven by a wish for her lover's prosperity and a testament to her diligent efforts in revitalizing Sandrock, commissioned a ring with a distinctive touch. In response, Sandara crafted a four-leaf clover adorned with enchanting green gems, a radiant embodiment of Mi-An's sincere emotions and her dedication to transforming their shared world into a flourishing oasis.

Hope the girls could win your hearts with these custom rings!

Again I had a great time making these for the fandom with the help of my fellow tumblr builders out here so big thanks to them too ♡

#my time at sandrock #mtas #sandrock #mtas nia #mtas grace #mtas catori #mtas venti #mtas amirah #mtas heidi #mtas elsie #mtas jane #mtas mi an #the girls rings are finally here 💍 #hope you will enjoy these customs one too ♡ #bachelorettes rings #rings project

[thetempleofthemasaigoddess]

(and if nothing brings you back) Surely, I'll roam through life in black

Mihawk x reader. NSFW!!

Title is an excerpt from Blind and Frozen by Beast in Black (again). Sequel to Built a haven for your love (until I let you fall apart). There will now be a separate epilogue to this story!

Note - 13/11/2023: I have edited Built a haven to delete a brief reference to Kain, the reader's past lover, in order to focus on other, more important characters.

*****

Dracule Mihawk is a patient man.

It is a natural quality, and at the same time that self-restraint is one of the reasons he has come as far as he has. After all, you don't become the best at what you do if you get bored easily, or frustrated after a visible lack of progress after a few short weeks; while natural talent did undoubtedly play a role in making him the man he is, Mihawk knows it is the long hours he spent practicising his swordsmanship (every single day since he was five, hundreds and even thousands of repetitions of the same figure, of the same lunge or the same parry, until he could perform them in his sleep and through simple muscle memory) that has made him the most respected and feared adversary in the four seas. He has always known in his heart the way of the sword was his destiny, no matter how hard and long the way to the top would be, and that path he has walked, patient and persevering, confident that one day his efforts and dedication would bear fruit - which they have. Even so, he still practices, every day, with the same focus and tenacity of when he was ten, still until his arms hurt and his fingers bleed, and then a little more.

Dracule Mihawk is a very patient man, not least because there is very little nowadays that can actually excite his curiosity to the point of anxiety; no rival in the last decade has seriously interested him, no swordsman he has heard about or met has made him feel excited at the prospect of a fight (or rather, one has; but a full year after their first and only meeting, Roronoa Zoro still has a long way to go before becoming a worthy opponent. But that is not a problem; once more, he is patient, he can wait.) and no future plan or commitment has ever made him wish time would pass faster. He is not bored, per se; he is just perfectly content with the way he spends his days, without worrying about what the future may bring...

... except for a single, tiny (no more than fourteen pounds by now, according to a book he has accidentally found in his library and even more fortuitously leafed through until he has found the chapter about infant growth) detail... one that has kept him awake at night for the first time in his life, and that not even training until his body gave up and his mind begged for the relief of sleep has been able to banish from his thoughts.

You. Or, to be more precise, the consequences of the night you have spent together. Or, to be even more precise, the reason why you haven't made him aware of them like you had agreed to do.

That... your silence, and the suspicion you are not deliberately keeping him in the dark (why should you? You have promised to inform him as soon as you had seen your doctor, you have his transponder snail number, you know how important it is to him) but something is keeping you from calling... that is what is making him loose his sleep.

To be honest, he started feeling anxious (a feeling he has at first almost struggled to recognize, so alien it was to his personality) just a few days after you had said goodbye, a feeling that became harder and harder to ignore, and then to keep at bay, as the weeks succeded one another. At first, he wasn't worried - just irritated. Even the most ignorant man in matters of childbearing knows it could take a while, perhaps even a whole month, before a person has reason to suspect they are expecting, and a late period could be due to several reasons other than pregnancy. Also, according to the book, it is not uncommon for pregnancies to end in the first three months, for reasons not even the best doctors fully understand; perhaps, he reflected as he polished Yoru at the end of yet another day-long training session, you have decided to wait until you are reasonably sure your pregnancy is real and healthy enough to reach full term, before informing him. Given how important this is to you, how desperately you wanted to get pregnant and have a baby, you may have ordered yourself not to believe it yourself until then, as if you knew you couldn't bear to lose the child you had waited for so long...

He was sure - no, he had been ready to bet his life that you would call after three months, to tell him you were officially, undeniably pregnant with his child. You are not the sort of person who forgets a promise they made, and while he has not yet decided what role he would play in the child's life, if any, you knew (you had to know!) it was important for him to be aware of the truth. He expected to receive your call any day, and he was determined not to miss it, so much that for the first time in his life he started bringing his transponder snail to the training room, or wherever he had decided to practice in that day, to make sure he heard it ringing.

It didn't. Or rather, when it did, it was never the call he expected. It was never you, and while three months became four, and then five, and then six, Mihawk started feeling restless, and frustrated, and then worried. Why aren't you calling?, he kept wondering. The thought, that was rapidly becoming an obsession, was constantly on his mind (when he trained; when he ate; when he showered; when he fought, either yet another quarry the Marines had sicced him on, or some fame-hungry swordsman who thought they could measure themselves against him and invariably discovered they could not; when he tossed and turned in bed, unable to sleep) and threatened to drive him mad.

Six months after your night together, he had to stop lying to himself and seriously consider the hypothesis that you hadn't simply failed to contact him, whether because you had forgotten (absolutely impossible) or deliberately, but something was preventing you from doing it. Also, the two of you had never gone so long without meeting, and your few mutual acquaintances had not seen you recently either; you might have taken some time off from, or indeed put an end to, your activity as a mercenary when you realized you were pregnant, but that would not explain the lack of contact. Were you sick? Was the baby making you sick, and so weak you could not even hold a transponder snail receiver and speak in it? It seemed absurd: you were a still young, healthy woman, and even the most difficult pregnancy could not put a person into a coma! What could have been happened, then?

Has something terrible happened to you? It was, unfortunately, much less improbable than he would have wished; after all being a mercenary had to be one of the most unsafe, potentially fatal professions in the world, and your latest quarry might have turned out to be more challenging than you had expected, or maybe someone set to avenge one of your past victims had been able to sneak up on you and...?

He wanted to know. He had to - no, he needed to know, he reflected one night, the umpteenth in which he had found himself unable to sleep, as he looked at the starry sky out of his bedroom window, because while very little in the world had the power to upset or even just to actually interest him, he felt not knowing what had happened to you, and if you were safe and sound, could really drive him insane. You were strong, clever and resilient, but no one could keep their guard constantly up day and night, and so many dangerous things existed in the world; if you were hurt, and kept somewhere against your will unable to ask for help, he would move heaven and earth to find and set you free. And if it were already too late, if you had... died, either at the hands of an enemy or for some other reason...

In that case I really don't know what will become of me, he thought, then and so many times in the following months. He would have gladly stabbed himself in the heart rather than uttering those words out loud, or having someone else know he felt that way, but that was the truth and Mihawk was not in the habit of lying to himself.

The thing that vexed him the most was the inability to contact, and then to look for, you himself. He had not thought about asking for your own transponder snail number (something he had reproached himself for many times) and he even ignored the name of your island, which would have been the first place to search in. Worry and frustration prompted him to do what he never thought he would: call the Marines and ask... for informations.

"(name)? I haven't seen her in a while." Vice-Admiral Garp said, his tone pensive, on the day Mihawk contacted him "I was informed the man I had sent her to dispatch is dead, but she never came to collect the bounty, nor has she called or written to ask us to send it to her. I'm starting to think something bad has happened."

"Have you tried contacting her?"

"Of course we have. But her transponder snail has been deactivated since the first time we called, I don't know where she lives nor whether she has friends or family. Why do you care what happened to her?"

The sudden question, asked in a deliberately casual tone, took him by surprise for a moment. This doesn't concern you, Mihawk wanted to answer, but he stopped himself in time. He didn't particularly like Garp, but the older man was clever and relentless, not to mention he considered those like the two of you, pardoned pirates and mercenaries, like a necessary evil to keep in check; he would not go as far as to hurt a pregnant woman, and was probably already aware of your acquaintance given all the times you and him had sat down to drink and talk at the Marine HQ, but the least he knew, the better.

"(name) had promised to help me find a person I am interested in." he invented, confident a mere business deal would not interest the Marine much "A famous swordmaker she had been acquainted with years ago. She had promised she would track him down for me after her latest assignment, but I have not heard from her in a months."

"Had she now."

"What do you mean, Vice-Admiral?" Mihawk asked, suddenly irked; he didn't like the skeptic, vaguely mocking, tone the older man had used.

"Nothing, nothing. I'm afraid I can't help you, Mihawk; If you see her, tell her we'll keep the bounty for her."

As if he were the Marines' messenger boy. Mihawk disconnected without answering, sighed, and covered his eyes with his hand. It was as he feared: the call had been useless; you had disappeared, and he had no way to find you.

*****

And he still doesn't, six more months later, as he sits on the front steps of his house, a glass of red wine in his hand and his gaze facing the sunset, the familiar but still breath-taking view of the sky lit of red and black for once failing to catch his interest.

A year. A whole year spent thinking about you, worrying about you - and without you. He has sent word to his (very few) allies, acquaintances and whoever he could trust or owed him a favour, asking them to be on the look-out and inform him of any news, no matter how apparently far-fetched, about you.

It was all for nothing. You must have given birth by now, your baby should be around three months of age (has he ever seen a baby that small? Probably not since he was a very young boy himself, and he is sure he has never held one in his arms; well, he’s sure you’ll show him how…) but there is no trace of either of you. You seem to have disappeared into thin air, and Mihawk has never been so worried in his entire life. The possibility you are safe, having decided to hide and fake your death, doesn't even cross his mind; you had a deal, one he knows in his heart you would never break, both because you would have no reason to and because you would never do that to him (you wouldn't. It may sound presumptuous to think so, to believe he has some kind of influence over you, and he cannot claim to know what is in your mind... let alone in your heart... but you would keep you word, he would bet his life on it) which must mean that something is keeping you from contacting him, someone has hurt you, either keeping you prisoner somewhere, which would at least explain why you have disappeared, or worse...

You could have been killed. You could be dead, and the thought is so fiercely painful, the agony it fills his very being with so scorching and bitter, Mihawk wishes he could tear his heart from his chest, because if that were actually true nothing else, nor vengeance nor the passing of time, and surely not another lover, could ever give him the smallest amount of relief. So many people die every day, in some cases alone and unmourned, but the same cannot have happened to you, you are too... too smart and capable to have let an enemy overcome you, and too special and precious to have lived through something so terrible and humiliating...

And the baby? Your baby? What has happened to them?

Accepting to conceive a child together has been an impulsive decision, taken after just a few hours of reflection, but Mihawk does not regret it... and not simply because it has led him to the best night of his life. The thought of a child, of any child, hurt and killed would naturally horrify him, but to imaginehis own baby, his son or daughter, in danger or hurt... is it possible for a man to bear such an overwhelming grief?

He never thought he could feel like this; he never thought he would meet someone capable of arousing that sort of feeling in him, but he has, you have, and while Mihawk doesn't regret it, and knows he won't even if he does discover you have passed, the thought of losing you and your child before even having the chance to meet them... and to say goodbye to you, and... to talk to you once more, is... is...

He doesn't pray. He never has, and he knows in his heart it would make no difference, nor would he be able to find some comfort in it. Mihawk doesn’t believe in God, not in the benevolent, all-powerful kind so many people trust to make their lives a little more bearable or at least to reward them for their good deeds in the afterlife. What, who, he believes in, is himself, and this is why, after he woke up screaming from an horrible, excruciating nightmare (in which he opened the house door to find your reanimated corpse in front of him, a tiny dead body in your arms, telling him you were sorry you made him worry) he promises himself that if he ever finds you, you or the baby or hopefully both, he will never leave you again, and will give his life to protect you.

I swear, (name). I know you didn’t break your promise voluntarily; let me keep mine. Please, come back to me; I trust you. I can’t go on like this; not knowing is destroying me. Let me know you are both all right, and I swear I won’t let anything happen to you…

Are his feelings (fear, the instinctive protectiveness towards a child who is the blood of his blood, the memory of the night of passion you shared) getting the best of him, leading him to make a much deeper commitment than he would have been willing to had you, safe and sound, phoned him after a month to announce him you were in the family way? Perhaps. After all he does have a heart, but while he doesn’t intend to ask for your hand as soon as you meet again, he knows that whatever destiny has in store for the two of you, he will never regret his promise or the choice he made a year ago.

He never could, if you keep being part of his life. So he vows, in the privacy of his heart, and barely one day later he receives an answer; by God, by destiny, or someone else, he doesn’t care, but he has to quickly put an hand to his mouth to prevent Garp from hearing his sigh of relief.

“(name) has just called me.” The Vice-Admiral says; he sounds amused, as if his conversation with you had confirmed his suspicions about the reason why Mihawk was so worried about your disappearance. Lookin for a famous swordmaker indeed! “She has lost your number, but she was able to retrieve mine through an acquaintance who works close to another Marine base and asked me to convey a message.”

Silence.

“Mihawk?”

“I am here, Vice-Admiral.” he answers, in control of his emotions once more, even though he is clutching the transponder snail receiver so hard his knuckles have turned white “What is the message?”

“Simply her number, that she has asked me to give you. Do you have a pen?”

Mihawk does, but he needs to hear the number just once to know he will remember it forever. You are all right, he keeps repeating himself, alive and if perhaps not unharmed strong enough to carry out a conversation. Relief hits him, so sudden and overwhelming it almost hurts; did she tell you where she’s been in the last year? Is she all right?, for a moment he is about to ask, before thinking better of it; he will call you as soon as he finishes with Garp, who in any case he wouldn’t confide his fears in.

 “I’ll tell her about the bounty she is owed. Good evening, Vice-Admiral.” he says, before hanging up and without giving the older man a chance to reply. He is alone, as always when he is at home, and Mihawk has never been so grateful for that lack of guests or, Gods forbid, house mates, because the last thing he wants is to have someone see him in that moment.

You’re alive. That is not enough to dispel all his fears, since as far as he knows you could be deadly ill or kept prisoner somewhere, and, most importantly, he still knows nothing about your baby, but suddenly he feels able to breathe normally for the first time in ages - in a whole year, that is. I knew you hadn’t forgotten your promise; that you hadn’t forgotten about me, he thinks, still worried but feeling a smile (a real, sincere smile, something no one in the world has ever seen on his face) open on his mouth. He remains still for a moment, the memory of your kiss and the sensation of your warm, solid body in his arms still etched in his mind, and a moment later he is already dialing the number Garp gave him.

You answer immediately; as if you were waiting for him to call. (You were. Desperately, fear and longing heavy on your heart; you needed to hear his voice like a person lost in a desert needed a glass of cold water, but at the same time you knew what you needed to tell him would destroy him, like it had destroyed you.)

“Mihawk?”

“This is him.” he promptly answers; until now you have always spoken in person and it has been a year since the last time, but he would recognize you voice anywhere “(name), are you all right?”

Silence.

“Name? Please…” he insists; that last word sounds almost alien on his tongue, but he can hear the call didn't fall, and the idea of you not wanting to talk to him is too painful to bear “Are you all right? Where are you?”

“I…”

“Is our baby all right?”

He can feel you hesitating for a moment more before slowly answering: “You needn’t worry; no one has been seriously hurt.”, which sounds too and unnecessarily complex when a simple we are both all right would have sufficed, but the determination in your voice is enough to reassure him “I’m sorry, I know I had promised to call you as soon as I had been to the doctor. I swear I would have, but…”

“Have you been kidnapped?”

“How do you know? Well, you’re right; I have been kept prisoner for a year, and my transponder snail was taken from me. I got free four days ago and I got home the day before yesterday. Mihawk, I…”

“Yes?”

Silence. Again. “I think it would be better if we spoke in person.” you state in the end “I’m sorry to ask you, but my doctor says I shouldn’t move for a few days a least, and my mother is of the same mind...”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Mihawk quickly answers, perfectly aware he doesn’t even know where there is, and utterly unbothered by the issue.

“Really?”

 “Of course. Give me the coordinates.”

You do, from memory, and he writes them down, just to be safe; he shouldn’t take more than a day to reach you, he is pleased to realize. “I will be there tomorrow morning at the latest.” he promises; most people would think twice before sailing at night in unknown waters, but he is not most people “How do I find you?”

“I’ll send someone to wait for you at the harbour. Mihawk?”

“Yes?”

“Were you worried for me?”

He snorts - inelegant, perhaps, but since you cannot see him…

“What do you think?” he pointedly asks, and he’s happy to hear you laugh, just for a moment. “I’ll see you tomorrow, (name).” he promises, and then he is the one hesitating just for a moment, before adding: “I can’t wait to meet our child.”

You say your goodbyes and hung up, quickly enough he can’t hear you burst in tears.

*****

He is sailing less than thirty minutes later, pleased to discover a favourable wind is pushing his ship in the right direction, and exactly twenty-two hours later his ship docks at the only little port of your island, in a warm, sunny morning he would consider a good sign, were he inclined to believe in that sort of things (he never has). The moment he steps on the harbour, mainly occupied by tiny fishing boats, a trio of men in livery approach him.

“Welcome to our island, sir.” the oldest respectfully tells him as they all bow in unison; he doesn’t ask for his name, Mihawk notices, nor does he mention it to make sure he’s addressing the right man “Lady (name) has sent us to meet you. Will you please follow us to the fortress?”

He does, and the brief ride in the small but elegant horse-drawn carriage gives him the opportunity to explore the place you call home. You had told him it was small, and it really is, little more than a rock in a relatively unimportant corner of the sea, but patriotism aside, he can see why you like it: the streets are large, the building well-kept, the marketplace the carriage passes next to thriving, and the flora seems to be as lush as you said it was, given the huge trees he sees in the squares and along the streets.

Still, sight-seeing is not what he has come here for, and when finally the fortress (a solid, relatively large stone building, wind-tossed flags at the top of the four corner towers and a drawbridge over a deep moat) appears in front of him, Mihawl feels his heart skip a beat, both looking forward to seeing you and at the same time fearing the state he will see you in. Such sentimentality, such an inability to put order among his feelings, is very unlike him, as well as the sort of things he has always done his best to avoid and considered an unnecessary distraction. Still, he doesn't regret those feelings; you are part of him now, an unexpected but not unwelcome state of things, and while openly discussing matters of the heart has never been easy for him, and he doesn't yet feel ready to give a name to the emotions you have elicited in him, he wants you to know, he needs you to know, he has never stopped thinking about you from the day you said goodbye...

About you, and about the child you have given him. The child, about three months old now, who he is going to meet in a few minutes.

Crossed the large double door of the fortress, the older man in livery exchanges a few words with another servant. "Lady (name) is in her quarters." he then reports "I'll bring you to her straight away, sir, unless you want to rest for a while. A room has been prepared for you."

Mihawk is not tired, but had he not slept for a week, his answer would be the same. "Bring me to her."

You like admiring the sunrise in the morning, as you prepare to begin your day, hence your quarters are east-facing. Mihawk is led to a small parlor, which might double as your study given the desk and the full bookcase on one side. A closed passage leads presumably to your bedroom, while an open double door gives way to a sun-lit terrace, where a quiet but serious conversation is taking place.

"... need to tell him. You owe him the truth, especially if you hope for your relationship to continue."

"I know that, mother. I don't want to lie to him, but... he told me he looked forward to meeting the baby... I can barely bear to think about what the doctor said, but to discuss it..."

"I know how painful it will be; for both of you. But you still have a whole life in front of you, and you need to come to terms with..."

The conversation quickly ceases when the man in livery steps on the terrace. "Pardon, my ladies. Your guest is here, lady (name)."

The terrace is a mostly empty semicircle bordered by a wrought iron parapet, the breath-taking view opening on the whole island; Mihawk doesn't even glance at it, his yellow eyes immediately drawn to the younger of the two women sat not far from him, semi-reclining on a deck-chair under a large straw umbrella, a pillow behind her back hiding a tiny but deadly machine gun.

You.

The first thing he notices is the weight you have lost. He has tried many times to imagine how your body would change because of your pregnancy, what you would look like heavy with his child; he was sure he would find you beautiful as ever, perhaps even more so. He even entertained himself wondering how it would have been to make love to you as you were visibly pregnant... and discovered the thought was not at all unpleasant.

The you in front of him couldn't be farther from those fantasies. No doubt because of the year you spent imprisoned, you are clearly underweight, your left leg, left naked by the short skirt of your dress, is braced and bandaged, a profound, overcome but persistent weakness surrounding you, as if the excellent care you are receiving at home still couldn't undo the ill treatment you have suffered.

A strong-willed, resilient woman like you would not be cowed by a slap or a skipped meal. What sort of violence and abuse did your captors have to resort to in order to break your spirit? Have you been beaten? Starved? Exposed to the weather in the coldest days of the winter? Have they... assaulted you? Whatever the truth, Mihawk suddenly wishes he could have them in front of him; after a single hour, those bastards would beg him to die quickly.

Then you smile at him, happy and relieved, and the desire for revenge is promptly forgotten - or at least put aside. "Hello, (name)."

"You came."

"You know I would have."

You share a look, brief but enough to make him feel as if the last year had been no longer than a day; he can see unmitigated joy in your eyes, and relief, and... wariness, almost as if you feared what could be said during the conversation he has come to have. Are you... afraid of him? Why? What do you have to tell him that could upset him to the point of...?

He notices, a whole minute later than he should have, that the baby is not with you, nor there is on the terrace a cot or a little bed you could have put them in. He is about to ask, when the woman sat on the chair next to you, at the other side of a small round table, stands and turns to look at him. He doesn't need to consider the evident family resemblance, nor to think back to what you have told him about your family, to realize she must be your mother: you have the same look, the same kind but piercing gaze in your like-colored eyes. "Good morning. I am lady Veressa, (name)'s mother. It is a pleasure to have you on our island."

"Thank you, my lady." Mihawk answers with a slight bow of his head; he is able to behave courteously with people of authority, whatever Garp may think "The pleasure is mine."

"(name), I will leave you with your guest. Please, do not overexert yourself."

"I won't, mother. Thank you." you answer, and smile when she bends to kiss your brow. A moment later the lady of the island has left, the man in livery behind her, leaving the two of you alone.

Neither speaks as Mihawk moves the free chair even closer to yours and sits; there are about a million questions he wants to ask, but for a minute he is content like this, simply looking at you, reassuring himself you are really there, clearly exhausted but alive, healing, and still beautiful enough to take his breath away.

"You have a ten million berries bounty to collect." he points out after a while; you, apparently expecting to hear something completely different, blink, and appear to struggle a little to understand the meaning behind those words, as if your activity as a mercenary were a long-forgotten childhood game and not the trade you have practiced since you were still a girl.

"Oh... right. I will have to call Garp again one of these days."

You smile, still nervous but happy; your hand reaches towards him, and he takes it in his, careful, as if it were made of glass.

"I have missed you, Mihawk."

"And I you." he promptly answers; he wonders if you realize how rare, and surprisingly easy, it is for him to utter those simple words. Something tells him you do "Are you well?"

"Considering everything I have been through, I think so." you answer after a moment of reflection; there is no trace of complaint in your voice, rather it is the matter of fact tone of a person who dispassionately acknowledges a situation and moves on "The doctors said I have been lucky, a few more weeks under the loving care of my jailers and I would have died. And my leg should heal perfectly, which is the thing I was most worried about."

"That is good to hear. (name)..."

"You want to know about the baby." you interrupt him, and there is something on your face he cannot name, but that makes him shiver; as if you were preparing yourself for an unpleasant chore you could not avoid. You told him no one got seriously hurt, which only partially reassured him, and he knows he won't be able to relax until he sees his child with his own eyes... "Am I right?"

"Yes. Where are they?"

*****

This is a conversation you can't avoid; your mother is right, you owe him that much and more, especially if he is to still be part of your life from now on, which you desperately wish for. Still, you would give half of your blood (not a small sacrifice, considering how much of it you have wasted in the last year) to avoid or at least to postpone it, and enjoy the quiet, comforting joy of having Mihawk close once more, after fearing for so long you would never see him again.

You breathe in and, holding tight as if preparing for a violent impact, you confess: "There is no baby. I... I had my period a week after our night together, and regularly after that, at least for a while."

You have time to count up to ten before you hear him answering; you can't look at him, and perceive he'd rather you didn't.

"I see."

"I am so sorry, Mihawk. It was my most fertile period, and we tried three times... I was so sure..."

This time he is the one interrupting you. "I know. It is not your fault." he murmurs; you can feel the emotion in his voice, without a doubt much more than he wishes you to, and that makes you feel guilty, as if you were intruding in an intimate moment "I... I guess this is good, after all. You have clearly been hurt, and taken prisoner. That is not the sort of situation you'd want to be pregnant, and to have a child, in."

You can't help but agree, and you swallow, hoping against hope you can stop talking about it and the two of you can enjoy some time together before he leaves and you can go back mourning what will never be in the privacy of your heart, but Mihawk's next words hit you like a punch in the stomach.

"Maybe... maybe we can try again." he slowly suggests; he has started caressing the back of your and with his thumb, and the intimate tone of his voice, a still serious but unmistakably sensual accent in it, is enough to make you shiver, and cry "Once you have returned to health. Our night together was... very enjoyable, I wouldn't mind doing it again, and I must confess the idea of a child has grown on me..."

You will not cry. Not in front of him, not now. Don't you dare, (name).

"I can't." you murmur miserably; you feel as if you were confessing a terrible crime, something to be ashamed of, which couldn't be farther from the truth, and this makes you angry "I... after I came back, my mother insisted the doctors carried out a complete medical examination, to make sure we knew exactly what was wrong with me health-wise; we thought it was important to leave nothing untreated. My period had stopped after a few months, no doubt because I was given very little to eat, so my women's doctor visited me, and discovered... she found out that I..."

That I can't have children, and never will. Your voice breaks before you can utter those words, but Mihawk seems to perceive them all the same, and the flash of shock and pain in his lovely yellow eyes, brief but too sudden and fierce to hide it behind his usual sangfroid, makes you feel the worst, cruelest woman of the four seas. "Mihawk, I am so sorry... I swear I didn't know..."

"I believe you. I... I am the one who is sorry, (name). I know how important it was to you."

It was, and it still is; otherwise part of you wouldn't wish you had died in the cell you had been put in. "I know, but... you just told me you had started liking the idea of being a father. Well, I'm sure there are thousand of women who..."

"No. There aren't." he curtly stops you, as if to make it clear that he considers the matter closed. The intention behind those words, that he cannot imagine, that he doesn't want, a woman who is not you as the mother of his child, should make you feel happy, and flattered, and it does, even though that is just the light of a single candle in the unending darkness of your pain.

A still bitter but peaceful silence falls on you, your hand still enclosed in Mihawk's; even now, despite the excruciating pain making you feel as if a beast were eating you from the inside, you feel comfort, and peace, in having him close.

"What will you do now?" he asks after a while, and you shrug.

"My closest relative until two years ago was a distant cousin I didn't particularly like; he died, but he has left a son, and my mother and I agreed the best thing to do would be to name him my heir. He is only six, so it is too early to know whether he is a good fit for the role, but I will ask his mother to let the boy come live with us, and we can prepare him to rule after my death. He is technically of my blood so the succession should not be contested... but honestly I don't care much at the moment. The good of this island and its people has been my first and foremost interest since I was a girl, but now... now I would wish for everything to disappear. That I could disappear."

He has never seen that part of you, dejected and fragile and hopeless like a baby in the snow, and normally you would be embarrassed to have someone you respect and whose opinion you value witness those moments, but you know Mihawk has a heart, even though few people can say they have seen it, and you trust he will not judge you.

He doesn't.

"The people who hurt you." he mentions after a while "Are they alive?"

"The man who kidnapped me is dead, as well as a few of his henchmen I had to kill when they tried to stop me from escaping. Why?" you ask, confused, but a moment later you look at him, and a tiny smile blossoms on your lips "You want to go avenge me?"

"It is what you deserve."

"You don't even know why they did it. For all you know they could have had a good reason to try and hurt me."

"I'm sure they didn't."

"It was partially my fault actually. Every mercenary knows they should guard against friends and families of their victims, and I am usually careful, but that day I had lowered my guard." you admit, still ashamed of that rookie mistake "I was returning to the Marine HQ with the head of my latest quarry, and I fell in the trap this man had set for me; I had killed his brother years ago and he wanted revenge. I thought he would have killed me, but instead he wanted to prolong my suffering. He kept me in a cell so low I couldn't even stand, he starved me, beat me, left me outside and it was so cold I thought pneumonia would kill me... he took my derringer, my favourite gun, from me and smashed it under a rock, and I swear, that was the..."

And then he kisses you. To stop you from blabbering, perhaps, or because hearing what you have gone through has made him lose control with both rage and relief; you'll never know, and in the end you don't care. He has bent over you, covering the short distance between your chairs, his hand delicately cupping your face and his lips... his cool, soft lips, both gentle and hungry, are pressed against yours, and that is enough to light the fuse, to make your heart skip several beats and moan with pleasure, the memories of your night together instantly filling your mind.

You part your lips, suddenly so hungry for him you don't even care someone could enter and see you, but before you can deepen the kiss Mihawk breaks it, gently but firmly moving away and forcing you to let the hand you had placed on the back of his head fall.

"I am sorry." he says, with the least apologetic tone the world has ever heard "I shouldn't have."

"Yes, you should have. Do you really think you need to apologise?"

"You are very weak, and hurt. The last thing you need is to exert yourself."

"Is that your medical opinion?" you promptly retort; you still feel dead inside, like you have since you learnt you are destined to remain childless, but you want him so much you can barely breathe, and that makes you bold "I will not die if you kiss me, Mihawk; nor if we sleep together once more, which I would really like."

"(Name)..." he says with a sigh, and for a moment you almost hate him; he looks, and sounds, like a patient adult dealing with an unruly child, which is frustrating and more than a little offensive.

"You told me a moment ago you would be willing to try again. I know I do not look my best right now..."

"Do you really think I care about that?" Mihawk retorts; he hasn't raised his voice, but anger is seeping in his tone, which you approve. Anything, even rage, is better than concern; anything is better than him treating you as if you were broken, even though you are "I never have. Not with you. I have never stopped wanting you since we last parted, and I still do, fully and desperately."

If there is a thing you can always count on with Mihawk, it is him being sincere. "Then won't you stay with me?" you ask, holding out your hand towards him; you have always found it degrading for a woman, for any person actually, to beg for that sort of companionship, but this is what you are doing, you are begging him to take you in his arms and make you forget, at least for a little while, and you feel no shame or embarrassment, because you know that he, a proud and severe man, will not judge you "I need you, Mihawk. Please, don't leave me."

Your crutch, that the doctor (reluctantly) gave you permission to use to move around instead than using a wheelchair, is leaning against the wall next to your deck-chair, but before you can reach for it Mihawk's arms slip behind your back and under your bent knees, and a moment later he's crossing the terrace door and then the parlour, you firmly but gently held in his arms.

"Mihawk, put me down! I can walk..."

"You clearly can't." he reasonably points out, a trace of amusement in his voice "And don't worry, you're light."

You don't remember ever being held like this since you were a very young child, and you immediately decide you like it, both because you can feel his heart beating, much faster than normal, against yours, and because the proximity allows you to kiss him, which you avidly do, your arms circling his neck. You feel nothing but desire and joy and relief as you cling to Mihawk, pouring your very soul in each kiss, not stopping even as you push your bedroom's door open to let him carry you inside.

You need him. Because you are hurt and weak and scared and he is the only one you feel able to receive comfort from, but there is more to it; he is part of you, in a way you would be unable to explain but that you cannot ignore. In the solitude of your heart, you know it to be true, and it scares you, but you are not sorry for it.

Mihawk delicately lays you down on your bed, next to the little table cluttered with medicines and bandages, mindful of your broken leg. He takes his plumed hat off, his eyes trained on you as he leaves it on a nearby chair, and then places Yoru against the nearby wall. "I thought I would never see you again." he murmurs; he doesn't elaborate, keeping silent on the thoughts and emotions that belief elicited in him. Perhaps he wouldn't be able to, but that is all right, because you can perceive what he feels and thinks all the same; looking in his eyes is enough. "I... I missed you very much."

He doesn't know how much of a treasure those words are to you; which means, you immediately decide, you'll have to show him.

"And I you."

You quickly untie the knots of your dress, but then you stop, enraptured as you observe Mihawk undressing. He is not exactly putting on a show for you, but judging from the smirk adorning his face, he is more than aware of the effect he has on you. His long coat is the first to go, then his dagger necklace, his boots, his pants and what he wears underneath. Soon he is naked as the day he was born, and he joins you on the bed, slowly advancing like a predator moving towards his next meal. "Are you ready for me, woman?" he whispers, and you smile, confident you can play his game and even beat him at it.

"Maybe you're the one who is not ready for me."

Still, your self-confidence lasts only a few seconds, until you have awkwardly slipped the lower half of your dress from under your ass and taken it off, leaving him free to observe your abused, weakened body. You wait, anxious like a young soldier being inspected by a superior officer, afraid of what you could see in his eyes.

"Don't pity me." you warn him softly as you welcome him in your embrace "I have been lucky."

Mihawk sighs, as if understanding your motives but reticent to accept them; he gently lowers you on the bed, propping himself with his elbow next to your face. "I wish I could make them all pay." he whispers, his free hand gently caressing the bruises, wounds and scars scattered on your skin, the tenderness of his touch enough to bring tears to your eyes. "More than anything else... I wish I was there to help you. To protect you. I know you can take care of yourself..."

"I clearly can't."

"You know what I mean. You saved yourself in the end, did you not? (name), I wish I could make it all go away."

He can't, not really, and you both know it; still, you can smile, as you take his face in your hands, and feel his desire pressed against your tight. "Kiss me." you answer "And hold me tight. That will be enough."

He doesn't answer, but Mihawk has always been the sort of man who lets his action speaks for him, and thank the Gods, actions is exactly what you need now. You sigh, finally relieved, as he kisses you again, your mouths chasing each other as your hands explore the heavy, warm body above yours, your single night together, by now a year ago, enough to make you remember what he liked and what gave him pleasure. Mihawk pants as he feels your fingers caress his smooth chest, lingering for a moment to tease his nipples, and then descend towards the firm roundness of his ass; you grasp at it, greedily kneeding his flesh, and his hips quake. "(name)..." he murmurs, his tone reverent and almost worshipful; you are in awe, moved and grateful you see in his eyes the same emotions that fill your heart "(name), how... how I have missed you..."

"Tell me what you want, Mihawk." you invite him; it is his comfort you crave, the passion and pleasure of your lovemaking to forget at least for a while you will never have a family of your own, but that doesn't mean you don't want him to find joy in it "I want to make you feel good."

Again, he needs no words to express his intentions. He grins before moving to lie on one side next to you, your legs interwined; you are still kissing passionately as his hand moves yours to his hard cock, that you happily caress and tease while Mihawk is greedily sucking on your neck.

"You'll leave a bruise." you laugh; you can't wait to feel him inside you, and at the same time this is enough, the intimacy of feeling him close, not to protect you or to assure you you are still valuable and whole after what was done to you, but simply to know he cares "And everyone will know what I, we, have been up to."

"Good." is Mihawk's curt reply, and a moment later he is nuzzling your cleavage, his tongue lapping at the soft flesh of your breasts. He makes sure you are looking at him before capturing your nipple in his mouth, sucking and even gently biting until you have to press an hand to your mouth, that a moment later Mihawk decisively takes off. "Don't." he orders.

"But..."

"Don't hold back. Scream if you want. Make the whole fortress hear, let your people know what their pretty lady is doing. Let all the men on this island know they have no chance."

Of all the things you could have imagined, Mihawk being possessive, even jealous, of you, would have been the last of the list. But you like it, you immediately decide, you like it a lot, so much that you lift his gaze towards yours with an hand under his chin, while the other grasps at his cock with enough force to make him quiver, and you see pure, raw pleasure explore in his gaze.

"I don't want other men." you confess; it is way too early in your relationship (assuming that he actually wants one; you know you do, and the disappointment would break your heart) for promises and commitment, but you know you'll never regret uttering those words "I only want you. All of you. Take me, Mihawk; I'm yours, whatever you want you can do it to me."

The sound Mihawk makes after hearing your words is not a moan nor a grunt, rather a growl, and when your eyes meet once more you know that he couldn't stop even if he wanted. He doesn't need to, fortunately, and you smile as you lift your hips, careful not to put your weight on your broken leg, and let him take off your panties. The moment you are finally naked in front of him, ready and so eager, you see him lick his lips as he lifts your good leg to wrap it around his hips. He kisses you once more, intense and devout and hungry, and a moment later you feel him push against you, and your body opens like the petals of a flower to welcome him inside.

The moment you are finally one, so close and intimately linked, the relief filling your body is so intense you could weep for it; you can feel his heart beat against your chest, and it is lovely, it is so amazing, because it beats jointly with yours. Mihawk's forehead rests against yours, his hand still caressing your hair.

He is smiling. "Now you're mine." he whispers, in what is both a claim and a promise; and then he starts moving.

*****

It is a good thing that he arrived in the morning, you reflect as you lazily caress Mihawk's chest, since you are free to enjoy the intimacy and closeness between you until it lasts, without having to waste time sleeping. You are lying on your back, pleasantly surrounded by the warmth of his embrace, and it is as if the world outside your bedroom had disappeared; another gun, that you chose to replace your lost derringer even though it doesn't carry the same personal value, is hidden under your pillow. You seem to remember you had some important task to carry out today, the opening of a new school or a meeting with some council member or other, but you are not sure, and for the first time in your life you don't care.

"Does your mother know about me? About us?" Mihawk asks after a while; he is lying on your right side, so as not to bump into your broken leg, and he has yet to let you go, his strong arms firmly encircling your shoulders and waist. Despite the intensity of his desire, he has been gentle with you, as you needed in your state but more than you wanted him to; still, you feel pleasantly sore, your body tired but content and satisfied as Mihawk's fervor still warms your skin.

A soft laugh escapes your lips. "Why? Would it embarass you?" you ask back after kissing his chest.

"Not at all. She didn't seem upset when she saw me, but perhaps she disapproves her daughter associating with a pirate."

You assure him that fortunately your mother has never demanded to choose who you made friends (or more) with, especially since you have become an adult. "Also, she wouldn't have the right to judge." you add pensively as you slowly turn on one side to return his embrace "Since she also fell in love with a pirate."

That also escapes your lips without you realizing; Mihawk does.

"Your father?"

"Yes. He... well, he was part of Gold Roger's crew. He was the navigator."

Mihawk's raised eyebrows suggest you have done what perhaps no one else in the world has: taken him by surprise - twice. "You are not joking?"

"Of course not. I hadn't been born yet, of course, but from what my mother told me their ship passed by our island during one of their voyages, and the captain decided to stop for a while to rest and restock provisions." you explain; many people would be excited to hear a first-hand account of a meeting with the famed King of the Pirates, but you have always been much more interested in the man who, in true pirate fashion, stole your mother's heart. "She, who at the time was the heir just like me now, was the one who went to welcome them at the harbour; she met my father, and for ten weeks they were inseparable. On the day the crew was meant to depart, she told him she was pregnant; she knew the sea was his home, and that no matter how much they cared for each other, and how amazing a father he would have been, settling down on land with her would have made him miserable. So she let him go, and they started exchanging letters. When I was little, my mother would read his to me to make me fall asleep; I never met him, but I kept his wanted poster framed in my room. Then he returned, suddenly one day."

Mihawk's fingers begin to move along your leg, tantalizing close to your crotch. "Was it after Roger had died?"

"It was. Apparently, Roger left his crew voluntarily, he wasn't captured as the Marines said; he had relinquished command to his first officer, but a few members of the crew decided to leave it. My father was among them. He didn't expect my mother and me to welcome him with open arms after seventeen years spent living as he pleased, he told us, but he had never stopped thinking and caring about us, and hoped we would give him a chance to prove it. My mother, who by then had succeded her father as ruler of the island, let him stay, with my approval, and so we had a chance to finally bond."

You don't tell him of those years. Of how you gradually got used to your father's presence in your life, where until then he had been just a picture on the wall; of how he slowly, patiently built a relationship with you, learning to know your emotions, your thoughts, your dreams and fears, and how equally little by little you came to trust him, to respect and finally to love him. Of all the things you did together, the quiet, pleasant afternoons spent fishing at the docks, your legs dangling next to his and the sun on your backs, his awe and pride as he saw how talented you were with a gun in your hand (your maternal grandfather had been the first to teach you, like his own had done with him) and capable in your recently started activity as a mercenary, and how he liked dancing with you while your mother played the piano. You don't tell him how happy you felt when he and your mother told you they had decided to pursue a relationship once more, and how proud and excited he was when you told him you were expecting.

You don't. You can't, because it hurts so much, still today, enough to feel your heart bleed. What you are able to share, although with a huge effort, is that one day, nine years ago, a merchant ship reached your island, ostensibly to exchange or sell the goods in its hold. The truth was very different.

"The ship's original crew had been massacred by a band of pirates, who had then stolen vessel and cargo to carry out the captain's plan. My father had been sure no one would recognize him from his past as a pirate; after all our island was so tiny and virtually unknown, and Gold Roger had been so famous few had ever paid attention to his men, especially one who had no special abilities and powers like him. He was wrong; one of the island's rare tourists had recognized him from his old bounty poster, and weeks later he mentioned it to his friends in a tavern. The captain of the pirate crew happened to hear."

"Did he know your father?" Mihawk asks, still holding you tight; he seems genuinely interested in your story, which does please you, but part of you regrets even starting it, spoiling the pleasant moment you were living together... and that you don't know how long will last.

"No, he didn't. The captain wasn't interested in my father personally, he just wanted to find one of Roger's men... and force him to reveal the location of the One Piece." you explain "My father told the captain he didn't know; that Roger had hidden his treasure in a place only he knew, and had brought the secret to his grave. The captain didn't listen; by then, his men had surrounded the fortress and announced we would both be killed had my mother, who had by chance been at the other side of the island when our home had been besieged, ordered the guards to force an entry. He told us he would kill both of us if my father didn't him what he wanted to know... and in the end he did. The pirate shot me, but my father attempted to shield me with his body; he took a bullet in the head for me, and he died, and then a few guards who had disobeyed orders broke into the room, and I got hit in the cross-fire. I survived, but I miscarried; and even though I had no idea, because I kept having my period as usual after that, it was then that... something must have broken inside me, preventing me from getting pregnant ever again. That day I thought I had lost almost all of my family, but I had no idea of how right I had been."

Your tale has ended; you spoke for a few minutes at most, but you feel exhausted, even more than after you had escaped from your captivity and dragged yourself back home. As you expected, discussing the loss of your father and your baby, and the fact that you are destined to never be a mother, has been an agony you would not wish on your worst enemy; last night you have cried yourself to sleep, and you thought the overwhelming, excruciating pain you felt was too much for a person to bear, and you would die from it. Now that you're able to rationally reflect on it, you know you're not going to be so fortunate: you're gonna live, potentially for decades to come, and this pain will never leave you completely.

A sigh escapes your lips. "I am sorry; this is not the sort of topic one should discuss when with... someone special." you quietly admit, and Mihawk grunts in disagreement.

"I think you and me are beyond this sort of things." he points out before kissing you once more, and despite everything, despite how dead inside you feel, the sensation of his tongue against yours is enough to make you tremble. "You didn't deserve it, (name)." Mihawk quietly adds; he can't make it all go away, no matter how dearly you both want it, but those few, apparently impersonal words matter more to you than any I am so sorry or display of sympathy "Nobody does, but you least of all."

"I agree."

You enjoy the quiet and intimacy between you for a few more minutes, sharing lazy kisses and touches that you know you have already developed an addiction for, and that you will never stop craving.

But you have to. At least for a while, because the strength you need to go on you have to find it inside you, and you can't do it if you're tempted to hold onto him.

"How long can you stay?" you murmur a moment after your hand has slipped downward to caress Mihawk's cock, tearing a satisfied moan from his mouth.

Mihawk shrugs. "I have -ah...!- no pressing duties to attend to. I can stay as long as I want." he explains; a moment, and then: "As you want."

"Oh, you're leaving me the choice?"

"This is your home, and your island. I don't want to be the sort of guest who overstays his welcome."

"You never could and you know it." you point out, and you shiver, feeling his fingers gently explore the expanse of your chest and belly; then, thinking that even the worst criminals are granted a twenty-four hours reprieve to put their affairs in order before the sentence is carried out, you propose: "What if I asked to stay until tomorrow at this hour?"

"That would be fine. Why?"

"Because I feel that if you stay longer, I won't be able to let you leave."

Mihawk reflects on your words; he doesn't seem surprised, nor particularly happy, about your proposal. "Then." he begins as he turns to cover your body with his once more; there is sadness in his yellow eyes, but even more, there is trust and warmth, and perhaps even love, even though that could be wishful thinking on your part "I say we relish the time we can spend together while it lasts. What do you say?"

You obviously agree; you take him in your arms and hold him tight, leaving everything else behind - for a little while at least.

*****

This fic is dedicated to @alphaash99 and @skynikan. Thank you for your support, hope you like this!!

#One Piece #One Piece Live Action #OPLA #Steven John Ward #Dracule Mihawk #Dracule Mihawk x reader #Mihawk x reader #Bellona's stuff