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saintsenara · 1 month

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always wondered how Snape never clocked that the diary/ring/Harry was a horcrux (other than the plot needed him to remain in the dark). Doesn’t add up that teen Regulus knew what it was and the 38 year old Dark Arts expert and professional double agent who has seen Voldy fail to die never worked it out

honestly, anon? same.

although i think we can work our way around this with a bit of canon-wrangling...

we can probably justify snape not clocking that harry's a horcrux during order of the phoenix, on account of the fact that he's presumably the only human horcrux in existence.

dumbledore says in half-blood prince that using animals as horcruxes is unusual because it's inadvisable, because the behaviour of a sentient horcrux can't be predicted or controlled [and it may, i suppose the implication is, therefore destroy itself, thus defeating the purpose of making it] - and snape is certainly taken aback by dumbledore asking him to keep an eye on nagini.

this could, however, be interpreted as snape being surprised that voldemort - who is highly-strung even by the standards of people who might encase their souls in inanimate objects - would have made an animal horcrux, even though he knows voldemort is able to control nagini through virtue of being a parselmouth.

connected to this, snape's understanding of the attack which harry witnesses on arthur weasley is that voldemort was mentally present in nagini when the attack took place:

“You seem to have visited the snake’s mind because that was where the Dark Lord was at that particular moment,” snarled Snape. “He was possessing the snake at the time and so you dreamed you were inside it too...”

voldemort is canonically known to be able to possess people - ginny weasley chief among them - and also, by his own admission in goblet of fire, to possess snakes. the assumption snape is making is that voldemort's control over nagini is one of the "standard" possessions the dark lord is capable of - and he must also assume, as mad-eye moody does and as the rest of the order accepts moody's account of, that harry's visions are the result of voldemort possessing or attempting to possess him.

indeed, there's an interesting sense in canon that many of the adult characters don't understand that harry's visions don't resemble what possession typically looks like - which is a genre convention which is in keeping with the overall narrative arc of the series as children's literature. the child-heroes need to be able to work everything out and the adults need to be, at best, politely disinterested - and this manifests itself throughout the seven-book canon in the fact that the child characters understand voldemort considerably better than any of the adult ones.

after all, the only person who points out that harry's experience isn't standard possession is also a child:

“Well, that was a bit stupid of you,” said Ginny angrily, “seeing as you don’t know anyone but me who’s been possessed by You-Know-Who, and I can tell you how it feels.” Harry remained quite still as the impact of these words hit him. Then he turned on the spot to face her. “I forgot,” he said. “Lucky you,” said Ginny coolly. “I’m sorry,” Harry said, and he meant it. “So... so do you think I’m being possessed, then?” “Well, can you remember everything you’ve been doing?” Ginny asked. “Are there big blank periods where you don’t know what you’ve been up to?” “No,” he said. “Then You-Know-Who hasn’t ever possessed you,” said Ginny simply. “When he did it to me, I couldn’t remember what I’d been doing for hours at a time. I’d find myself somewhere and not know how I got there.”

from snape's perspective, then, the idea that nagini and harry are simply being possessed by voldemort - rather than that they're sentient horcruxes [and that harry is a unique type of sentient horcrux, and that voldemort could have been stupid enough to intentionally make his child-enemy who hates him into a receptacle for his soul] - is the result of him applying the principle of occam's razor: that the simplest explanation is usually the correct one.

snape does, however, acknowledge that harry and voldemort's mental connection is unusual:

“The Dark Lord is at a considerable distance and the walls and grounds of Hogwarts are guarded by many ancient spells and charms to ensure the bodily and mental safety of those who dwell within them,” said Snape. “Time and space matter in magic, Potter. Eye contact is often essential to Legilimency.” “Well then, why do I have to learn Occlumency?” Snape eyed Harry, tracing his mouth with one long, thin finger as he did so. “The usual rules do not seem to apply with you, Potter. The curse that failed to kill you seems to have forged some kind of connection between you and the Dark Lord. The evidence suggests that at times, when your mind is most relaxed and vulnerable - when you are asleep, for instance - you are sharing the Dark Lord’s thoughts and emotions. The headmaster thinks it inadvisable for this to continue. He wishes me to teach you how to close your mind to the Dark Lord.”

obviously, we know that the connection forged between harry and voldemort is that harry's a horcrux. but it's also the case that harry doesn't have the ability to see into voldemort's mind before voldemort is corporeal again. if we assume that dumbledore keeps harry's visions from the earlier parts of goblet of fire secret from snape - and there's no reason why this wouldn't be the case - then snape's understanding of the mental connection between harry and voldemort is presumably that it was caused by voldemort using harry's blood to resurrect himself.

after all, snape must know about the blood protection established by lily's death, since not only the full order [moody mentions it in deathly hallows] but the death eaters also know about it. he will also know that voldemort used harry's blood for the ritual because voldemort did this in order to show off - he's proud of the symbolism, and you can tell he was dining out on it right up until it spectacularly backfired...

the question then becomes whether snape truly deeps what dumbledore's saying when he tells him - during the half-blood prince timeline, but not revealed to us until the end of deathly hallows - that:

“On the night Lord Voldemort tried to kill him, when Lily cast her own life between them as a shield, the Killing Curse rebounded upon Lord Voldemort, and a fragment of Voldemort’s soul was blasted apart from the whole, and latched itself onto the only living soul left in that collapsing building. Part of Lord Voldemort lives inside Harry, and it is that which gives him the power of speech with snakes, and a connection with Lord Voldemort’s mind that he has never understood. And while that fragment of soul, unmissed by Voldemort, remains attached to and protected by Harry, Lord Voldemort cannot die.”

snape realises, without dumbledore prompting him further, that this means harry has to die. which means, i think, that we can justifiably suggest that snape has twigged that harry needs to die because - in order for a horcrux to be destroyed - the container needs to be damaged beyond all repair...

and - let's be frank - his little argument with dumbledore after this revelation makes perfect sense if he knows that dumbledore is speaking about harry as a horcrux:

“I have spied for you and lied for you, put myself in mortal danger for you. Everything was supposed to be to keep Lily Potter’s son safe. Now you tell me you have been raising him like a pig for slaughter - ”

snape's beef is that dumbledore secured his cooperation as a spy on the pretence that he could atone for his role in lily's death by protecting harry from voldemort, while dumbledore knew all along that this was never going to happen [snape does not, of course, know that dumbledore reckons harry will be able to return]. clearly, he would have preferred dumbledore to have just smothered harry as a baby, destroyed the horcrux, and saved them all the agony.

and so i think that it's canonically impossible that snape doesn't understand - eventually - that harry's a horcrux.

and i also think that it's canonically impossible that snape doesn't clock the others well before this.

after all, voldemort states in goblet of fire that the reason he's so pissed off by the death eaters who pretended to have renounced him after 1981 is because they knew he couldn't die:

“I was ripped from my body, I was less than spirit, less than the meanest ghost... but still, I was alive. What I was, even I do not know... I, who have gone further than anybody along the path that leads to immortality. You know my goal - to conquer death. And now, I was tested, and it appeared that one or more of my experiments had worked... for I had not been killed, though the curse should have done it. Nevertheless, I was as powerless as the weakest creature alive, and without the means to help myself... for I had no body, and every spell that might have helped me required the use of a wand... “I remember only forcing myself, sleeplessly, endlessly, second by second, to exist... I settled in a faraway place, in a forest, and I waited... Surely, one of my faithful Death Eaters would try and find me... one of them would come and perform the magic I could not, to restore me to a body... but I waited in vain...”

[he is hamming it up so much here. the man understands camp.]

what he means by this - clearly - is that the fact that he'd made at least one horcrux was common knowledge among his minions, which provides the explanation for why regulus knew what was going on [which i've gone into more detail about here].

which makes sense - voldemort actually tells us in canon that his safeguards aren't that nobody knows he created the horcruxes [and also, if that's what he'd been going for, he'd almost certainly have killed slughorn.]

the section is too long to quote, but if you look at the bit in chapter twenty-seven of deathly hallows when he's panicking that harry and dumbledore have figured out his secrets, the thing he's afraid of isn't that they know he's made horcruxes, but that they've worked out what the objects are and where they might be hidden, something he was certain nobody other than himself would ever be able to discover.

the ring - for example - could only be located by someone who knew voldemort's full birth name, who knew that the name "marvolo" was associated with the gaunts, and who knew where the gaunts had once lived.

the locket - as voldemort understands it, since he assumes kreacher is drowned by the inferi - could only be located by someone who knew that voldemort had, as a child, been taken on an outing to the coast and had lured two children into a cave to torture them.

the diadem could only be located by someone who knew that it wasn't actually lost, knew that helena ravenclaw could be manipulated into revealing where it was, and knew how to open the room of requirement - which voldemort canonically believes is impossible for anyone other than him [even though this makes absolutely no sense to me - there's furniture everywhere, babe?].

the cup could only be located by someone who managed to bypass gringotts' famously tight security, gain access to the lestranges' vault, pick out the cup from among all the other objects stored within [which would also require them to know that a shop-boy called tom riddle stole it from a woman called hepzibah smith] and then not get crushed to death by a rising tide of molten metal.

the diary is much less closely guarded - although voldemort evidently believes that lucius malfoy can be trusted to keep it safe until he tells him otherwise. but this - as dumbledore tells us in half-blood prince - is because voldemort wants it to be used, so that the chamber of secrets can be reopened, and that he's therefore prepared to take the risk of it being destroyed because he believes that his other horcruxes are so secure that the loss of the diary won't matter. this is also, i suspect, his view of nagini - which is why him moving to protect her is taken by both dumbledore and harry as the signal that no other horcruxes remain.

snape must know, then, that voldemort has made horcruxes, because voldemort must, however obliquely, have told him so.

and he must figure out that the diary and the ring are horcruxes specifically. he's clearly the source of dumbledore's information that voldemort's fury when he discovered the diary had been destroyed was "terrible to behold".

and he must be the person who prompts phineas nigellus black to drop the info that dumbledore used the sword of gryffindor to break open the ring. harry and hermione assume this is something black lets slip without knowing its significance, but we know from the prince's tale that he visits them at snape's request in order to find out how the horcrux hunt is going.

[on the sword of gryffindor, snape's statement - "and you won't tell me why it's so important to give potter the sword?" - has to be taken as asking why the sword is so crucial to the destruction of a horcrux that he's being forced to go to great personal risk to give it to harry in order for this overall argument to work... but i think this reading is plausible - not least because voldemort knows that harry was left the sword in dumbledore's will, since wizarding wills are examined by the ministry, and could undoubtedly find out very easily if he wanted to that the sword snape places in the lestranges' vault is a fake.]

the reason that snape doesn't participate in the horcrux hunt in any more specific way relates to the point about genre conventions and child-heroes made above.

the reason that the horcrux hunt takes the form it takes isn't because horcruxes themselves are magic so arcane and unknowable that only the trio, dumbledore, and voldemort are aware they exist. it's because harry - even more than dumbledore - is the only person who knows voldemort well enough to figure out what the horcruxes are made from and where they are.

[this is why i don't vibe with stories which assume the hunt goes quicker if snape - or sirius or anyone - helps the trio. the point is that nobody but harry could figure out that voldemort would be seething about not having a vault at gringotts, or that he would have hidden the diadem the night of his failed job interview.]

snape appears to know the adult voldemort reasonably well, but there's no evidence at all that he knows anything about his life prior to c.1970 - either from dumbledore or from voldemort himself. this means that he would be absolutely no help when it came to guessing what the horcruxes were - the diary, ring, cup, diadem, and locket all presuppose the knowledge that voldemort was once called tom riddle, after all.

which makes him useless to harry when it comes to hunting them down. by the time dumbledore dies, harry knows with near-absolute certainty what five of the horcruxes are: the diary, ring, cup, locket, and snake. he knows for a fact that two of these have been destroyed, he and dumbledore believe they've just got their hands on a third, and he knows where a fourth is [nagini, next to voldemort]. the location of the cup - and the form and location of the sixth horcrux, the diadem - is something only harry has the ability to work out. the seventh - harry himself - is information dumbledore has ordered snape to keep hidden until the appointed time.

meaning that snape clearly does know what a horcrux is - both in theory and when four [diary, ring, nagini, harry] of voldemort's own are put in front of him - but that this knowledge is sufficiently incomplete as to be irrelevant to the quest harry's engaged in which takes up the narrative's time.

#asks answered #asenora meta #severus snape #horcrux nonsense for fun and profit

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enbysiriusblack · 2 hours

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childhoods of marauder characters:

james- grew up in a wealthy neighbourhood in liverpool with occasional trips to mumbai to visit family. other than the trips to india where he could hang out with his cousins his age, he didn't have other friends and grew up very lonely before marlene moved next door when they were about eight, and she became his first non-family member friend. he mostly played quidditch or walked around the garden playing make-belief, very outdoorsy kid. mcgonagall is his godmother/his mum's best friend and ex, so she was around fairly often and he loved trying to play pranks on her (and always failing). his parents gave him anything he asked for and tried (but struggled) keeping up/playing with him. so he didn't really understand not getting his way or what he wants. he grew up with the idea of love being an unconditional thing, and if you love someone then you give them everything you have and are

remus- grew up in a small village in wales with no other kids around. he never travelled very far, other than to the nearest town when they needed something they couldn't get from neighbours or make themselves. his friends were the neighbour's sheep and dog, and his family's chickens. he struggled knowing how to act around people, and his parents didn't really want him around people as they were very overprotective for his safety after greyback bit him, and he was very separated from popular culture. he spent most days indoors reading, knitting with his mum, or watching and talking to the sheep, and doing household chores. he grew up thinking people would hurt him if he got close or he in turn would hurt them, and knowing that he'd have to try twice as hard as the other kids to have a good future

peter- grew up in either essex or kent in a seaside town. he was raised by his mum with his dad out of the picture, but his mum took in homeless/run away kids and taught them life skills and found them jobs, so she didn't give him much attention and expected him to be able to look after himself. so he spent his days walking around town and the beach, collecting stones and shells and painting on them. he was constantly surrounded by people, but never got attention from them. the people his mum took in also had a lot of mental health issues or addictions, so he learned a lot of more adult things quite young, as well as having a paper round when he was 10 to be able to spend time at the arcade instead of just walking around the street. he grew up with the idea that childhood was very fleeting so he valued that more than anything, as well as growing up with the idea that he had to put his life into his own hands and no one else would look out for him but himself

sirius- grew up in islington, london. occasionally going to france or other countries for holidays or special events they were invited to- like charity galas and annual balls. grew up in a family that were losing their money, with the aristocratic class fading away, but were desperately trying to cling onto upper class lifestyle. was expected to be quiet and polite and act like a grownup, but never did. had prospective friends visit all the time but he never got on with them (evan rosier being one of them), which made his parents give up after a while. his parents wanted him to be quiet and studying constantly (if not socialising with other respectable families) so it gave him an easy way to pretend he's studying in his room whilst sneaking out to explore the muggle world. he grew up thinking he was shameful to the people around him, which only made him want to be more shameful cause fuck em, since he was also taught just by being born, he was superior to others (which he slowly unlearnt)

regulus- grew up in islington, london. occasionally going to France or other countries for holidays or special events they were invited to- like charity galas and annual balls. grew up in a family that were losing their money, with the aristocratic class fading away, but were desperately trying to cling onto upper class lifestyle. was expected to be quiet and polite and act like a grownup, which he did. unlike, sirius he did not have prospective friends visit as he wasn't the heir and his parents thought him too strange and awkward for other respectable families. his parents wanted him to be quiet and study constantly so he did just that, other than when he played piano or cello which he had permission by his parents to do anyway. he grew up thinking he had to constantly impress his parents to live up to sirius' easy charming personality and brains, as well as being taught that just by being born, he was superior to others (which he never unlearnt)

lily- grew up in a small town nearby woods (i like the idea of her being scottish but i cannot imagine a scottish severus, so maybe her family is scottish but moved to midlands of england). her parents both worked full time and did a lot of overtime/work out of hours so petunia looked after lily and the house most of the time, leaving lily to go out and play. she was very outdoors-y and hated being at home all day, unlike petunia, so she'd go out to the woods to find severus and play with him, or visit the nice old ladies down the round or go to the park (big fan of the swings) or collect bugs. petunia always seemed so much more grown up than her, and when she did more and more magic, they grew even more separated and lily spent less and less time at home. she grew up with the idea she had to be mature and high achieving to get petunia to want to hang out with her, and that the world in general could seem like a scary or dangerous place but that there was really goodness and kindness and nice things in it all

mary- grew up in plymouth, devon. her dad was in the fishing industry and had quite unreliable hours, which made her more close to her mum, but she still got on well with both of them. she had an older sister who got on with them less, since she was a goth and a lesbian and didn't care what people thought, and their parents are a bit more traditional, but tried being openminded- mary looked up to her a lot despite being very different people. she had a lot of friends and went to a lot of kids clubs (like gymnastics, arts & crafts, performing arts, etc.) also i see her as muggleborn, so she went to primary school obviously and had lots of friends from there). grew up with the idea people are people and you should accept them for their differences (cue friendship with alt butch lesbian autistic marlene), and you should always do what you think is best for you, despite what other people want from you

marlene- scottish but moved to liverpool at around eight years old and met james. is the youngest, and has a few older brothers. her family is very traditional so her mum tries to spend the most time with marlene and teach her feminine qualities, although marlene just wants to go out and play quidditch or go to james' and throw mud at each other for 5 hours. grew up catholic and kept her faith, goes to church every Sunday and does confessions when shes old enough. had meltdowns often as a kid, especially having undiagnosed autism with a mum who wants you to do the opposite of what you want all the time, and she'd run over to the potter's to calm down. grew up thinking she was 'too much' (my beloved quinni variant) and had a lot of religious issues to work through (especially concerning her sexuality)

dorcas- grew up in belfast with their dad. she'd accompany him to building sites (her dad's a builder) often when no one was available to look after her, and they'd play around in the safe areas and the other builders would go talk to her/play with her whilst on their breaks. grew up in a flat with a lot of friendly neighbours in the building who helped raise them. their dad would go out with workmates to the pub after work, when they could, so she spent a lot of time there and always got given free juice and crisps (kids going to pubs is a very normal thing in the uk btw!) had a large sense of community, but not much experience with making friends their own age. grew up with the idea that the world was a dangerous place (its northern ireland in the 60s...) but also that change comes from the people and she could do whatever she could to help others

emmeline- grew up in south korea at a young age but moved to scotland to live with her grandparents (on dad's side) at around six/seven to learn english and prepare to go to hogwarts (her dad grew up in scotland and went to hogwarts). her parents expected her to be studying in the years before hogwarts started, but she never really did (other than her grandfather teaching her english and her grandmother teaching her a few charms). went to a 'bright futures' club and made a few friends there, as well as her fake order of merlin that she began carrying everywhere. she sent letters to her dad constantly, lying about her fast progress and only received a few letters back. grew up thinking she had to achieve greatness or she was worthless, and had to constantly get attention from loved ones by whatever means she could

#marauders era #marauders #james potter #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #sirius black #regulus black #lily evans #mary macdonald #marlene mckinnon #dorcas meadowes #emmeline vance

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marauders-peace · 1 year

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The Power of Orion and Walburga Black

The power of Orion and Walburga Black Part 1 (Sirius Black x Reader I am very sorry for my bad English!! English isn't my first language and this is my first fanfiction so I hope you can forgive my bad writing style :'))

The letter

Sirius Black was a difficult man. A person who you cannot tame. A free soul. His parents were never really phased by that. They still tried to make him the person they wanted him to be. But they always failed and he was proud of that.

Well, that's what he thought.

His parents were not shocked when he ran off. "Good", they thought, "now is that problem out the way. " But their pride was damaged even though they would never admit that. Their first born son just ran off to the Potters of all people.

Gryffindors. Even though Blacks were always in Slytherin.

They knew he would be trouble when he was sorted into Gryffindor.

" What will the people think of the noble house black?? The pureblood prodigy! The proud Slytherin estate! Lost their son to a muggle friend… To a Gryffindor…"

Tough times for such pride and stuck up human beings. But Sirius couldn't care less. He learned from his best friend James Potter to be proud of himself that he was in fact a Gryffindor. He hated his parents. He hated the place he was forced to call home for the first 11 years of his life. He hated the Black lifestyle. So he decided to go to the Potters. Because James was his light in the pitch Black atmosphere of the pressure which was on him.

The marauders. James Potter, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black. Four Gryffindors.

Some would call them troublemakers but for Sirius they were home. No pureblood idealogy, no pressure to be a heir. Just him and his friends doing silly pranks.

The letter arrived.

It was his birthday. He turned 17, was finally an adult. It was his 7th year in Hogwarts. He hadn't heard from his parents since he moved to the Potters and he was happy about it. Sirius got presents from his friends and from his new family. The day started so good.

But then the owls came.

The great hall was a magical place. The food was good and the four friends always fooled around. Well, Remus maybe not always but he had at least a smile on his face. But all that seemed like a dream to Sirius when he saw what was coming.

The black family owl.

At first he was sure it would fly to Regulus. With a letter in which it would remind him not to be like Sirius.

It came his way. To the Gryffindor table.

When the owl landed on his table he couldn't move. The owl spatted the letter in front of him and looked at him with big eyes. Like it was waiting. The conversation of his friends stopped. They didn't know what was going on. Sirius was frozen in his place. He didn't know what to think, what to do, hell he didn't even know how to breathe in that moment.

"What's wrong, Padfoot?" asked James. His hand was in his hair, like always when he was nervous. Peter took the letter and wanted to take a look at it, but the owl poked him before he could open it. It seemed to glare at him. "Ouch, what is wrong with this owl?!" he said. "It doesn't want anyone to open the letter except me. It was raised to bring letters only to the worthy ones. The Blacks. That's what my parents think." Sirius explained with a monotone voice. Remus looked at him with a confused look in his eyes. "Why aren't you opening it then? It's your birthday, it can't be that bad." Remus tried to reason with him.

But he didn't know what he was talking about. It will be bad.

Sirius was shaking when he opened the letter. This time the owl didn't move. The 3 friends of his waited. There was a tense atmosphere in the room.

Dear Sirius, Your mother and I decided it is finally the time you will be more than a nuisance to our family. You are a man now. As our first son, you have a duty to forfill. As your parents we decided you will be marrying (y/l/n y/n). The parents of her already agreed to the ceremony. It will be on her 17th birthday.

You can be relieved that anyone was willing to marry you, after all the shame you brought upon our family. We expect a heir from you two after you graduate from hogwarts.

AND DON'T THINK YOU CAN RUN FROM THIS LAST CHANCE TO PROVE YOURSELF TO US.

You will meet her on Christmas. YOU WILL COME HOME FOR THIS OCCASION.

Sirius didn't even realize he was holding his breath until he breathed again. His friends were all waiting for him to explain what was written in the letter. But Sirius was to shocked to say anything. He was angry. So, so angry that he didn't have any control over his own life. His parents still had this influence on his life even though he left them behind. He was still just a Black. Nothing more to anyone else except for his friends. Nothing more to his future wife. Why would she agree to marry him, when she didn't even know him, if it weren't for him being a Black?

So he made a promise to himself. He wouldn't make it that easy for his family.

Little did he know…

… That y/n received a similar letter to his across the great hall. Her parents hadn't talked to her about any marriage. She had no problem with marrying Sirius Black. She had a problem with being arranged to marry him, just for money and a pureblood heir.

She always liked him. Since year 1 when he picked up her stuff and smiled at her after she let them fall.

But she didn't believe her parents knew or cared about that. And that frustrated her. She always wanted to talk to Sirius. But now she wasn't sure what to do. She was sad that they won't be able to be a normal couple. That he will never see her as a normal human being.

Only as an example of the power his parents had over him.

#Sirius Black x reader #sirius black angst #sirius black fic #marauders #marauders era #the marauders

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mvnvgedmischief · 4 months

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unremarkable days: Sirius black is trying to be a good man, a good brother, a good person. Sirius has a steady job designing book covers for a publishing house, a flat he never leaves, and a traumatized brother who was just removed from the custody of his parents. All in all, it's wildly unremarkable.

archive tags: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Regulus Black & Sirius Black, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Regulus Black, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Modern Marauders (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), ok so this is mostly just sirius trying to take care of a traumatized regulus, Modern AU, Sirius trying to be a father figure, to his brother who was just removed from his home, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Artist Sirius Black, Writer Remus Lupin, Young Regulus Black, Past Child Abuse, Trauma, everyone is sad, Custody Battle, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Past Domestic Violence, Child Abuse, Anorexia, Eating Disorders, Domestic Violence

words: 93511 chapters: 25/?

this is kind of my baby in terms of fics i’ve written, i love it so much. it will probably end up around 30 chapters, but lord knows. artist!sirius x writer!remus in a modern take on a high society young adult recovering from his fall from grace while trying to hide his sexuality, take care of his brother, and fall in love. will his secret self destruction be the only thing that stands between him and the future he wants?

read it on ao3 here, full chap under the cut!

Sirius felt awful that Remus had to walk into this conversation. He didn’t enjoy that his life was going to shit in front of him, especially in front of Remus. Sirius was embarrassed. He was ashamed of himself, of his life, of everything. It felt like yesterday, Remus was digging around in his business, and trying to sus out whether or not to be embarrassed of his own past. But now here they were, Sirius’s chaos boiling over in a way that he wondered if Remus’s ever had. They had touched on it, of course. Throughout the nights in his bedroom, or out on the fire escape, and it was in the book. Sirius knew it was in the book, he read it cover to cover, but they didn’t discuss it much. Maybe it was out of fear, that if he asked Remus to open up he would have to. But right now, the acrid stench of failure filled his nostrils, and his face twisted into something between a grimace and a smirk as he turned his doorknob and entered the flat.

“I’m sorry in advance.”

“No need,” came the gentle reply from behind him. It felt like Remus’s voice was all Sirius needed to find the strength to open that door. He silently made his way back to his couch, leaving room for Remus to sit beside him. Thankfully, Remus had the sense not to sit too far from Sirius, lest he spontaneously burst into sobs and need someone to gather him up and remove him from the room.

“What’s the plan, Sirius?” Sev asked, not even bothering to greet Remus. The tension between the three of them could be cut with a knife, and Sirius wondered just how much feeling out of place Remus would be willing to put up with.

“I don’t know yet—“ Sirius began, only to be cut off.

“Of course you don’t.” Severus spat, his tone cutting through Sirius to his core. He was failing Regulus yet again. Like he had all of those times he didn’t protect the boy, like he did when he left.

“He’ll know after the intake,” Remus replied with ease, cutting into the conversation like an expert. “Hospitalizations, medical programs, and the like don’t run on our timeline no matter how much we want them to.”

Sirius felt a short sigh fall between his lips, but it still caught him off guard. He didn’t expect to be making any noise, he just expected to be yelled at by Severus, glared at by Regulus, and get the occasional reassuring hand squeeze from Remus. He didn’t expect Remus to come in here like a knight in shining armor and advocate for him and his mental health.

“They’re not going to tell Sirius all that much about anything. Sure, he’ll get hours, behavior expectations, treatment options, and the like. But the nitty-gritty details and such that you’re all going to want to know are not going to be conversations they have with him.”

Sirius didn’t know that, which is really bothered him. He didn’t know there was going to be information that he wouldn’t get. He wanted to interrupt, but Remus gave him an easy smile.

“They’ll tell you what you need to know, love. They’re just not going to bog you down with the logistics. That’ll probably go through James and to Regulus directly.”

Sirius wondered if Remus could feel Sev’s glare, despite looking directly at Regulus. He never minded being on the other side of that glare, but he knew that Remus already felt uncomfortable around the man. He was sure this wasn’t making it any easier. Guilt was swallowing him up, and all he wanted was to sink into the floor. Sirius could feel himself getting nauseous. There was nothing he could do but sit here, nauseated and exhausted. He could hear them talking across him, discussing the details of what will happen and when Reg would go back to boarding if he will at all, and what their plan is for the next few weeks when Sirius will most likely be in a residential program.

“I went to Orri today,” Sirius added but he felt like it was falling on deaf ears, “They said they’d take me in PHP if –”

“What does our worst-case scenario look like?” Severus cut him off, pausing his glare for a moment to look at Sirius.

“I guess–” Sirius began, but Regulus piped up.

“ Worst case or absolutely catastrophic?”

“Worst case,” Severus responded, “I know absolutely catastrophic is you going with them.”

“Worst case is probably the council turning down both you and the Potters housing if Siri has to go somewhere.”

“The council wouldn’t put you in the system if it would be too disruptive, they’re much more likely to approve both options before that because Sirius wouldn’t be gone that long anyways.”

He hated being talked across like this, but contributing also made him so deeply uncomfortable. He felt like he was being strangled by this conversation, choking on his own shame. God, he wished he had just let himself disappear. He wished this wasn’t something he had to do. Couldn’t this all just end? Maybe he should have just disappeared.

“Aye,” Sirius mumbled, after what felt like the longest stretch of time he could imagine. The way all three of them looked at him felt like they had forgotten he was even there. “If you all have a mind to keep talking like I’m not here,” He began, trying not to snap, “‘m going to bed.”

“No, I–“ Remus began, while simultaneously Severus, on the other side of the room, groveled, “Please don’t–“ The two men bristled with jealousy, staring daggers at each other.

Regulus broke up the tension between the group, which made Sirius feel so desperately guilty. “Grand frère, ne pars pas.” He whimpered. Those words rang through his mind like a bell, ricocheting between his ears. Big brother, don’t go. They’ve been here before. Not like this, of course, but they had been at this crossroads before. He knew this was different, but it didn’t feel different. It felt exactly the same as it had when Regulus stared up at him with glassy eyes and tear-stained cheeks, having heard the argument between Sirius and his parents. He saw the bright red marks on Sirius’s cheeks, marking where he had been disciplined for his ‘disrespect.’ Regulus watched him angrily pack a small rucksack full of his most prized possessions, and begged him not to go. Sirius never had any intention of leaving Regulus behind there, but he didn’t have an option. There was no going back from that fight. He barely remembered that fight. He felt like he blacked most of it out. The only thing he remembered was his mother throwing his school bag out into the snow, and screaming that she wouldn’t have that behavior in her house .

Sirius took a deep breath, steeling himself against his own catastrophic feelings, and nodded. If Reggie wanted him, he wasn’t going anywhere. He couldn’t leave again. He was already being punished, drowning in guilt, over leaving the first time. That had been over five years ago, and he was still doing penance for it. He knew it was too much, that he felt too deeply, and he only ever wanted to show Regulus how much he cared. He should know better, but the grip he had on his demeanor was slipping. He could feel the tears welling in his eyes, but he needed to calm down. He couldn’t cry again, Regulus couldn’t handle it. He knew Regulus was so fragile right now. His own breakdown would be Regulus’s undoing and he knew it. Regulus was always sensitive to how Sirius was feeling, always influenced by it, just like he was influenced by everyone at their old house in Islington. On top of that, Regulus was already so fragile. He was already so scared, and Sirius desperately didn’t want to scare him anymore.

“I’m not going anywhere, Reggie,” He replied, looking at his younger brother, eyes full of fear and understanding. “Even if I have to go to a res program, I’m not leaving you. I’m going to come home. I’m going to be okay.” Sirius had never wanted anything more than he wanted them all to believe him. He was going to be better than this, he needed to for Reggie’s sake. Even if he needed to drive himself into the ground to feel better, he was going to make sure he was giving Regulus the best chance he could, even though he thought everyone was a better candidate to raise his brother than he was.

“He doesn’t have an option.” Severus grumbled, but his tone was gentle. It was so obvious to Sirius that they were closer than he ever really knew. He knew that they had been close, of course, but he was starting to understand that the relationship went much deeper than he expected. Sirius would never tell Regulus he couldn’t have the other man around, but he wasn’t entirely sure what it would help other than just having an adult “in his corner.”

The smarmy git looked over at him with a wry grin, and Sirius tried his best to mirror it on his own face. That being said, it fell apart before it crossed his face. God, he wished this would end. He could feel Remus bristle even if his eyes were locked on Regulus and Severus. Sirius couldn’t help but wonder if Remus was feeling jealous. It wasn’t like it mattered, neither Sirius nor Remus were the most central fixtures in this conversation. For as much as he was the cause of all of this, and it was all about what he had been doing, but this needed to be about Regulus. Sirius couldn’t help it, honestly. He wouldn’t be able to handle being even more in the center of this conversation. He felt like he was under a microscope, and his skin was burning from observation.

“When will we know when you’re going to be in hospital?” Severus asked, eyebrow raised.

“I have an intake assessment on Monday morning…” Sirius mumbled in response, “Won’t know anything until after it.”

“So we just have to wait until Monday? Nothing until then?”

“Aye,” Sirius mumbled, “Reg I should be here when you get home to chat about everything that happens.”

“So he’s just supposed to go to school? Pretend everything is fine when it so clearly is not?” Severus asked, his voice raising with irritation. “That’s ridiculous Sirius! How is he supposed to cope with this?:

“I don’t–“ Sirius tried to respond, but his voice died in his throat.

“Of course not.” Severus grumbled, “Because you never do.”

“Sev I’m–“ Sirius tried, but he didn’t know what to say. He knew that he didn’t have the answers that either Regulus or Severus wanted. All he had were apologies, mixed in with his self-loathing.

Remus could feel that Sirius was fading, and fast. The man was losing his nerve to sit here, and Remus couldn’t really blame him. This was all so intense, and he didn’t want to continue to contribute to it. Sirius looked so exhausted, and it was so familiar to him. For a long time, Remus had been sitting in that position, feeling the magnifying glass over him, and feeling like his health was burdening everyone else. His emotional state, the trauma of it all, could be so heavy for a group of people, and he could read on Sirius’s face just how heavy he felt like this all was. He knew the weight of other people’s concerns could be suffocating. He took a look over at the clock, and then back to the group. He would’ve suggested taking a moment to rest, to pivot away from this particular conversation, but he didn’t have a chance. Before he could say anything, Sirius was standing up and mumbling something about needing a moment.

Sirius practically ran off to the washroom. He locked the door behind him and slid down to the cool tile floor. He needed it to reset him, to remind him that he was here and that he was safe. He pulled his boney knees to his chest, to sob into them. His mind raced with fears about where this journey would take him, what would happen to his relationship with Regulus, and whether Remus would still want him when it was over. Why couldn’t this be easier? Does it really have to be so difficult? All he wanted was to be nothing and he wished he could just disappear.

He wasn’t sure how long he had been lost in his own mind, but when a knock reverberated through the door Sirius jumped instinctively. “What?” He groaned, his voice sounding hoarse from his sobs. “Regulus wants to go see some of his mates, and I’m going to go to the lab to get some work done. I’ll give you a ring later.”

“Cheers,” Sirius choked out in reply.

“You alright, mate?” Severus called, from beyond the door. Sirius choked back a humorless laugh, trying desperately not to seem short or irritated. It was so deeply upsetting to him that he couldn’t calm himself down. All he wanted was to just be normal, to be unremarkable. He didn’t want to be someone with all of this complex trauma, or all of these catastrophic feelings. He desperately wanted to just be. If only that were as simple as he wanted. His desperation seeped out of his pores, wanting for nothing more than peace.

“Alright,” He replied, keeping his tone as even as possible. He tried to maintain some level of calmness, listening as the two walked out of the door. It was then that he left the washroom. He knew he shouldn’t have hid from their conversation, but it was all too much. It all felt so overwhelming and frustrating, he just needed to get away from everyone. Ordinarily this was when he would run out to the fire escape for a cigarette, but he could’ve been chased there. He didn’t want to be cornered out in his safe space. So much of his life and his coping had changed in the last year, and he couldn’t handle offering up another one of his treasured spaces for others to push his boundaries in.

Time was muddying together for so long, Sirius wasn’t sure how long he sat on that floor before Remus knocked on the door.

“Love,” Remus called from the other side of the heavy oak door. Sirius felt himself shudder, even though he was trying desperately to calm down. “Why don’t you come out and lay down? I’m sure you’re exhausted.”

“Just go home, Re.” Sirius mumbled, forehead pressed against the tile of his bathroom. God, Sirius, just calm down! He needed to get himself together. He couldn’t be any more of a trainwreck, but all he wanted was to be normal. He wanted to be what Remus needed and what Regulus needed, but all he could do was fall apart. It was so nauseating to him that everyone was holding onto him with kid gloves. He knew he was such a drain on the people around him, he knew they were all so worried about him.

“Please,” Came the reply from the other side of the door. It made Sirius want to fall apart. The guilt was going to eat him alive. He didn’t know how to handle any of this well. He could feel his heart hammering in his chest, panic rising in his throat. “I can’t do this.”

“You’re not doing it alone.” Remus was desperate to get Sirius out of that bathroom, but it was beyond any hope. Sirius wasn’t coming out any time soon. It was obvious to Severus and Regulus, that was why they left. Sirius was used to things like this, people leaving when his mind became overwhelming and catastrophic. That was one of the biggest reasons Severus was angry with him in the first place. Regulus needed an adult to be able to deal with the things in his life between helping with homework, making sure there was someone to sign off on things for school, and generalized stability. It was unfair to Severus that he was in this position so frequently, Sirius couldn’t help the way guilt spilled out of him.

“I’m not worth dealing with like this.” Sirius’s voice carried the guilt and fear he was feeling. It was so raw and vulnerable.

“You’re always worth dealing with.” Remus responded, but Sirius could hear the defeat in his voice. Maybe Remus would finally figure out that there was no hope here, Sirius wouldn’t be exiting the bathroom any time soon. His voice fell on deaf ears, because the only thing Sirius could hear was the rushing of his blood in his ears, and his rising heart beat.

Sirius was struggling to keep himself rooted in this reality, instead finding himself teetering between the white subway tile of his own bathroom and the dark italian marble of the bathroom in his childhood home. He could hear his mother’s voice ringing in his ears. It was always soft at first, feigning understanding.

“Sirius, you have to come out of there. Your father and I won’t be mad. Just tell us what happened.”

The anger wouldn’t come until later. It was always simmering just beyond the veil of her composure. She always knew what he had done wrong, whether it be failing a test or losing a footie game, cutting school or a dance class, kissing someone of the wrong pedigree. All of them were punishable offenses by his mother’s standards. He remembered the last time before he was kicked out, sitting in that same panic of knowing she knew he had done something wrong.

“Sirius I won’t put up with this foolishness much longer. Come out here and face the consequences of your actions.”

He had tried to appease her in his youth, coming out the first time he was asked. But he felt the strike of her ring all the same, and eventually he hoped to put off the inevitable. He knew negotiation was a forgone conclusion, but sometimes he was lucky enough that someone would find the doorbell or otherwise distract from his impending doom. He didn’t have the same luck as far as his father was concerned.

“Your mother coddles you too much. Get out here and face me like a man.”

There was no world on which he got away with things. Sure, when his parents didn’t find out all was fine. But his parents found out about so much they didn’t want him to do and Sirius had to face the consequences of it. When he was still trying to protect Regulus, before he had been thrown out, he had tried desperately to keep the peace on the boy’s good days, and time his chaos with Regulus’s fits. He remembered being locked within that home so vibrantly, like it was an experience he would never be able to move on from. Even that last time, he had hoped things would be okay for Regulus. Once he knew he had been found out, caught out by a love letter from a bygone school mate hidden beneath his floor boards, he had tried desperately to protect Regulus. He didn’t know if Regulus ever understood him, but he had tried desperately. He had it out with his parents in separate rooms, in cars, anywhere Regulus wasn’t. There were harsh whispers, open handed smack, and screaming matches in the car, but he tried desperately to avoid it happening in front of Regulus. Someday, he hoped, they’d be able to talk about things and finally sort everything out. But right now he was here, sitting on the tile floor of his bathroom and remembering the needless luxury of the black marble beneath him and the crystal furnishings. When would it end? When would the sound of his father’s controlled anger stop inducing vomiting?

“You shame your namesake.” A cruel pause, “if you don’t come out of there in the next sixty seconds, count yourself lucky if I allow you to sleep in the cellar.”

There was never a real sixty seconds. There was no grace period. He could have left the bathroom when his mother knocked the first time or well after his father knocked the last, and he would still be sleeping in the cellar. He would still feel the cool metal of his father’s rings marring his skin. He would hear the click of the lock and find himself in the cold loneliness of his fall from grace. He knew he would never feel anything but the ire of his parents once they found out. He spent so much time hating them, blaming them. He used to blame them for making him this way, for putting him in dance and making him walk softly, for teaching him to be discerning about his clothing and his hair, for never allowing him to get dirty with other kids. He blamed them for the way he felt when he thought about a cute boy in his class, or the way his heart skipped a beat when Severus yelled at him. It took him a long time to be comfortable with the way it felt to kiss another boy, and the way he felt confident walking into a gay bar.

It was all different now, with Regulus at home. Every day he felt the corners of his peripheral vision blurring the line between his flat and the loveless luxury of his childhood home. He could practically hear the clicking of the keys his mother kept in the drawer next to the stove. Her perfectly manicured nails would parse through the drawer, finding the key to the bathroom with expert precision.

The panic of his memories was bubbling up within him, and he knew it was going to explode. Knees clashed against the hard, cool tiles of the bathroom floor as he made his way over to the toilet, as the acrid, rotted contents of his past spilled out into the toilet. He wasn’t sure anymore whether or not his hands found the back of his throat or if the vile poison of his childhood burned through him all on its own. The frustration he felt while staring at the porcelain and begging the universe or god, or anyone who would listen, to just give him a fucking break.

“Siri,” Chimed the warm voice from the other side of the door. It made Sirius so irrationally angry to be treated this well. He just wanted to be nothing. He wanted to be no one. He wanted to be an apparition.

“Why are you still here, Remus?” He asked, his tone pointed with his frustration. He wished he could be kind, like Remus. He wished he could be understanding and sweet, all soft tones and light whispers, but Sirius wasn’t like that at all. He was all sharp tongued bitterness, cruelty and fear. He was so desperately lost, wishing and begging for just some understanding, and not knowing how to handle it. If he had been just a bit less damaged, if he had only had a few less times in the cellar, if he hadn’t taken a standard discipling and turned it into a fist fight, if he had bit his tongue that last time before he left, maybe gentleness would be something Sirius understood. But he had, and he couldn’t change it, so Remus’s kindness felt cumbersome. It was like fitting a square peg in a round hole, and the only thing that he could do was deflect.

This distress was familiar to Remus, if not odd. It was so weird to him to be on this side of the door. If Sirius was not so paranoid, he may have asked Lily about how to be supportive on the other side of the equation. However, that wasn’t a risk he was willing to take. Not when Sirius was so fragile. There was jealousy that pulled at his heart strings, hating that Sirius clearly trusted Severus implicitly, and had been making him jump through hoops over the last few months in order to gain the other man’s trust. It felt unfair that he couldn’t just be someone who Sirius trusted implicitly. He knew that was unfair way to portray both men in that way, considering he had know understanding of what their relationship actually was. But Remus wanted Sirius. He wanted to be the person Sirius called whenever something went wrong, he wanted Sirius to rely on him standing on the other side of the door. He wanted Sirius to kiss him in the middle of the street, to take him out on dates, to want him. It burned him up in side and he wished he could do something about it. He wished he could charge into the bathroom, pull Sirius into his arms, and comfort him through this. However, he was locked on the other side of the door, being shooed away.

“I’m not leaving.” Remus responded, his resolve seeping through the door. Sirius could feel it. But he needed to be alone, he needed Remus to leave. He could feel the fog of his mind whirring, forcing his thoughts to ring loudly through his ears. His heart was thrumming in his chest, building fear and chaos within him. He was going to binge.

“That’s desperate.” Sirius’s words were cutting, mean, and unhinged. He loved Remus, despite himself. He wanted remus desperately. It was more of projection than anything else, but he needed to be alone. “Go home. I don’t WANT you.”

He wished so desperately that he didn’t have to do this. He needed Remus to go, and if that required Sirius to needle at him, to make him feel small, that was what he would do.

“You can’t– you don’t–” Remus stammered, his voice tightening. God, it made Sirius’s chest hurt.

“Just go,” Sirius replied, his voice thick with desperation. Maybe a change in tactics would help, “please– I just need you to go.” The panic was rising again. He needed to be alone so desperately.

“Can you call me later?” The tightness in Remus’s voice hadn’t dissipated, and Sirius felt so guilty for being so mean. He couldn’t help it. He needed to be alone.

“Yeah,” Sirius whimpered, trying desperately to keep himself from getting overwhelmed all over again. Just get through this Sirius. Just get him out. Just make it to the kitchen. Is the white bread moldy? Does it matter?

When he heard the click of the door closing behind Remus, Sirius is practically running out of the bathroom. His feet carry him to the kitchen, snagging a bag of sliced white bread that he’s had for far too long and rushing off to his bedroom. He’s a mess, and he knows it. Within minutes, he’s tearing open the bag, spending minimal time throwing aside anything that looked like it had gone bad. He chewed through the slices with voracity, tears streaming down his face once more. He felt pathetic and disgusting. How was he ever going to make it through this? His assessment with Orri didn’t go as well as he had hoped. They recommended he seek a higher level of care. They supposedly didn’t feel confident in their ability to accommodate what he needed at this time. How was he going to handle it? He knew he was going to end up in one of those two reserved beds at Vincent Square once again. He also knew that the idea of going to Orri was starting to feel like nothing more than a pipe dream because they didn’t accommodate anyone on an inpatient basis. He could do Vincent Square. He knew he could. He had done it before. Theoretically, maybe he could manage to handle this. He knew that on Monday they could discuss the need for him to attend his family Christmas, and to take care of Regulus through the process. It was a long shot for him to believe Vincent wouldn’t recommend res. He wasn’t weight restored (he bristled at the thought and the pride that erupted within him), he wasn’t seeing his therapist, and he wasn’t even able to make it through a night of sleep anymore. Had he taken his Seroquel today? Had he taken his Lexapro? Why couldn’t he remember?

When he made it through the package of semi-moldy bread, he was overwhelmed by his disgust. Once again, his feet carried him to the cool white subway time, his knees crashed on the ground at the same time he started retching. Why couldn’t this be easier? Why did it have to be so hard?

When he was done retching, he pulled himself off of the floor, to rinse out his mouth and splash water on his face. He needed to get himself together. If they were going to do this to him, fuck it. He might as well go all in. He might as well lose himself. Perhaps that was what forced him into his trainers and his running clothes, to run himself ragged. For an onlooker, it was unremarkable, but if anyone in his life had seen him, they would have been horrified. Maybe Sirius was a monster. Maybe Regulus was right, maybe he couldn’t starve out his cruelty, but by God, he would try.

#unremarkable days #modern marauders #marauders era fic #marauders harry potter #marauders fic #sirius black x remus lupin #regulus black fic #sirius black fic #wolfstar fic #some light snirius #snirius pining #exes snirius #ex snack #ex severus x sirius #tw eating disorder

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maybebabyplease · 10 months

Note

ooh number 12 with regulus and james?

MAGGIE MAGGIE MAGGIIIIIEEEEE sorry this is horrifically late (you know what i have been up to) (writing my secret pairing) (agonizing over it) but! here you go! better late than never!

12. But who is that on the other side of you? (The Waste Land, T.S. Eliot)

(poetry flash fic game)

Regulus had thought the days of competing with his brother for attention were long over. After all, they’re adults now, and things like attention shouldn’t matter so much anymore. Of course, no one had seen fit to inform Sirius, apparently, and now there’s a dog in his bed.

“He misses Moony,” James had hissed the first time it had happened. “You know he gets lonely.”

Regulus had rolled his eyes. “I’m sure he does. But Remus will be gone for a week, and he ought to be able to make it through. He’s almost thirty.”

“He’s twenty-seven!” James replied, scandalized.

Regulus had just shrugged his shoulders and changed the wards on their bedroom to keep Sirius out. Unfortunately, it had not been effective.

Now Sirius is twenty-eight, a whole year closer to thirty, and still terrorizing Regulus when Remus goes out of town. And Remus goes out of town quite frequently; he’s found relative success in his field, and keeps getting invited to speak at conferences all around Wizarding Europe.

“Can you at least make him sleep on the floor? Or, I don’t know, in our guest bedroom? In human form?” Regulus begs. He wiggles around, trying to get comfortable and failing.

Padfoot snores loudly from the other side of the bed, James squished in the middle between them. James doesn’t respond, just snuggles down under the covers.

“James?” Regulus says, poking a toe into James’ calf.

No answer. James lets out a loud snore and rolls over, burying himself in Padfoot’s fur. Padfoot makes a soft snuffling noise that’s almost…sweet. Merlin. Regulus has no hope of ever getting the dog out of his bed. He sighs, rolls over, and accepts his fate.

#maggie tag #JUST FOR YOU #i was wanting to do this one too bc i wanted to do Dog In Bed #so ty for your choice!#poetry flash fic game #em mail

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arctuurusregulus · 2 years

Text

→ diagon alley is home to many , a direct connection to the wizarding world , right in the centre of london , many people like REGULUS BLACK , spend majority of his time in the busy alley , people know him as the TWENTY year old who is a SLYTHERIN graduate , now training as a HEALER, i think the role suits them perfectly as i think they are INTELLIGENT but also they can be DISTANT, but that's just my opinion .

→ NAME: regulus arcturus black ii → NICKNAMES: reg → AGE / D.O.B.: 20 years old / 31/12 → SPECIES: pureblood wizard → GENDER / PRONOUNS: cis male / he&him → SEXUALITY: bisexual → RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single

FAMILY

→ PARENTS: orion black, walburga black, amycus carrow → SIBLINGS: sirius black → COUSINS: bellatrix black, andromeda black, narcissa black, evan rosier, ? → PETS: elara (black fluffy cat), perseus (pallas cat, gift from amycus)

LIFESTYLE

→ BORN: london, england → RAISED: london, england → CURRENT RESIDENCE: london, england (in his own flat, not grimmauld place tyvm) → NATIONALITY: english → LANGUAGES: english, french, german → OCCUPATION: trainee healer (almost finished!), healer for the Death Eaters → DRINK | SMOKE | DRUGS: yes / yes / yes → RELIGION: no

PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES

→ FACE CLAIM: timothee chalamet → HEIGHT: 5ft 10in → BUILD: thin, athletic → HAIR: dark brown, slightly curly → EYE COLOR: grey-green → DOMINANT HAND: right → SCENT: disinfectant, pine soap → NERVOUS HABITS: tends to study/work to avoid everything else, drugs

CHARACTER

→ MORAL ALIGNMENT: true neutral → MBTI: INTP → WESTERN ZODIAC: summer said he’s a capricorn → SONG:

MAGIC

→ WAND: elm, dittany stalk core, 10 in, inflexible → PATRONUS: can’t make one, but it’d be a cat → BOGGART: various family/friends dead from injuries he tried and failed to treat

BIO (tw drug abuse)

you know the drill: heir and spare, reg was definitely the spare, learned to be seen & not heard / to do what was expected of him / to not get caught

he never understood why sirius felt the need to talk back-- obedience didn’t mean agreement, just fewer consequences. reg was a good liar from a young age, certified sneaky bastard by the time he started school

school went well. reg liked he predictability of it: if he worked hard, he’d get good grades. if he got good grades, he got more privileges and praise. he went all in on being top of the class, quidditch star, prefect, slug club, etc etc etc

less good with people-- tended to want almost everyone at arms’ length & used insults and arrogance to keep them there. looked down on those he thought weren’t putting in enough effort.

because everything will be okay if you work hard enough, yeah?

always was good at potions, maybe too good. by the time he graduated, he’d started depending on them to keep his life together-- one to go up & one to come down, all that deal

got the dark mark right after he turned 16 (thrilled that the adults around him considered him worthy for the honour), older death eaters encouraged his interest in healing magic due to potential usefulness

started his traineeship the day after he finished school, working overtime to qualify as a healer as quickly as possible. specialises in emergency medicine.

started healing non-serious injuries for death eaters immediately, getting into more complicated things over time. so he’s seen his friends and family hurt on a regular basis, is often the one dealing with the aftermath when things have gone wrong

he never doubted before, never stopped to think about it, but lately he’s been wondering what the end cost of all this will be

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princesssarcastia · 3 years

Text

2021 Harry Potter Fanfic Primer

im here to point fingers at the incredible authors that have enabled my new interest in HP content. im still conflicted and upset about it, tbh, but for now we’re leaning into the curve. we’re getting out our shovel and finding out just how deep we can make the hole we’re in. hand in unlovable hand my beloved <3. anyway, these fics are wonderful, their authors are wonderful, and you should go read their stuff. if there’s a star next to it that means im losing my mind over it and always will be.

Creatively Maladjusted, by elumish on AO3, 101k (they also have a wonderful writing advice blog on tumblr, @elumish, which I recommend following if you are a writer)

A very excellent re-telling of harry’s first year at hogwarts if he were sorted into Slytherin, plus some more not!fic or piecemeal re-tellings of his second and part of his third year. Harry, in this, has a slightly different trauma response to growing up with the Dursley’s. He’s a bit quieter, and the signs are a bit more obvious to the people around him, and I enjoyed that immensely.

Honestly, if you’re going to get sucked into something you have absolutely no business getting sucked into, elumish is the way to go, their fic is incredible. their teen wolf fic is also immaculate, if you’re so inclined.

Dissonance, by ImpishTubist on AO3, 2.5k (@impishtubist on tumblr)

Set during fifth year. Oblivious!Harry has always been a delightful trope when well executed, and this is well executed. Plus, some angst between Remus and Harry over what Umbridge has been doing to him.

I would certainly recommend a lot of ImpishTubist’s other hp work on AO3, like Lacuna.

blow us all away, by rexcorvidae on AO3, 23k (@rexcorvidae on tumblr)

In progress (like, updated last week in progress). Currently in the beginning of Harry’s first year. Fem!Harry, Indian!Harry. Hagrid puts Harry in touch with Remus when she has questions about her parents, and they become reluctant, traumatized, angst-ridden pen pals who keep missing each other’s true intentions like ships in the night. hot DAMN do I love this fic. there’s hints of the way the dursley’s treat Harry peaking through in her letters, and I appreciated the attention to “hmm, her experience as a girl of indian descent in britain under the thumb of a bunch of white people who like being Normal may not have been gucci”

Definitely comb through the rest of their HP fic, too, I may or may not have gone feral over it.

Where the Heart is, by silver_fish on AO3, 15k (@kohakhearts on tumblr)

Woof. This one said, “hey, harry was probably SUPER depressed in the summer after fifth year. like, clinically. maybe someone should do something about that.” Fuck yeah. Then this one said, “that someone was Snape.” You all know my opinions on Snape; generally, Bad. But damn if this fic didn’t wholly convince me by the end of it. I thought it was a very realistic way for Snape to start seeing Harry as a person all on his own, and not a proxy for Snape’s angst over James and Lily, respectively. The angst is wonderful, the ending is even more so.

*bernie sanders voice* I am once again asking you to read through the rest of the author’s HP fic. a lot of them have similar themes; there’s actually a great one with Molly that i’m not reccing here, Wonder.

☆Bindings, Bindings, by Quietlemonhush on AO3, 60k (@quietlemonhush on tumblr)

WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS TO YOU HOW MUCH I ENJOYED/AM ENJOYING THIS. If I had to pick a single fic and say “you, it’s your fault I’m stuck here,” it would be this one. Anyway Lily in the afterlife is So Very Angry about how Petunia is treating Harry, and how Sirius is rotting in Azkaban, and how Remus is alone, that she literally brings herself back to life and drags James and Regulus with her. All three of them are there to chew bubblegum and fix everything that went wrong after they died—and would you look at that, they’re all out of bubblegum! There’s only Fury left. That inciting premise is very crack, but every moment after that is very much not crack. Lily and James love harry more than anything, the way a child should be loved; James and Sirius have the epic friendship of a lifetime; Sirius and Remus have staggering amounts of resolved sexual tension and take turns keeping each other in check; Regulus, though he realized that Voldemort and his family were shit before he died, is still unlearning all his racist bullshit and, also, years of trauma. Actually, they’re all traumatized, but hey: now they have one another again and not a damn one of them seems inclined to let go anytime soon. Quietlemonhush went, “hey, HP has a lot of Awful people in it, and a lot of Righteous people in it, and many of them are Very, Very Powerful; also, love is the most powerful force in the universe” and i said “hell yes tell me more right now.” And then they did!

Quietlemonhush writes Sirius/Remus in a way that makes it sooo much fun to devour, so the rest of their HP fic is most certainly worth a look, if that’s your thing.

Rebuilding, by Colubrina on AO3, 113k (@colubrina on tumblr)

Hermione/Draco (*shrug emojis into the abyss* yeah, yeah, like none of us have ever been there before). Takes place during Hogwarts 8th year, and while the beginning is, IMO, a little unfair to Ron, it gets much better. Tells the story of Hermione and Draco clearing the air, learning to like each other, having some hormones over each other, and then falling in love. Also tells the story of Hermione and Theo Nott becoming friends; the story of how every single 7th and 8th year student is fucked to hell by the war and the Carrows; the story of how they start an emotional support group about it and all become friends; and the story of, what the hell do you do with yourself after that kind of trauma?

I’ve been dipping in and out of Colubrina’s HP since before I was even on tumblr; I actually found them in those dark yesteryears when the only fandom interactions I had were on fanfiction.net. Of such fame as Green Girl, which is an HP fic staple, and has also written a lot of wackier, crackier, and darker things than that. If you don’t take yourself too seriously, I highly recommend many of their big HP works, though I imagine it’ll press some people’s buttons. Colubrina’s work really does take up a corner of my mind whenever I’m in an HP mood, and will take up yours if you let it.

☆ all waiting is long, by shuofthewind on AO3, 149k ( @shu-of-the-wind on tumblr)

This is so well written that I can’t stop thinking about it. It is occupying my mind when I lie awake at night, you know? It’s one of those. Hermione messes with something she probably shouldn’t have in Grimmauld Place, so when Sirius is sent through the Veil in the Department of Mysteries, she gets thrust into an alternate universe...in 1975. Instead of handwaving it away, shuofthewind actually gets into the mechanics of it in a way that makes sense, to emphasize that hermione is never going home. ever. The world she finds herself is shifted slightly to the left, quite a bit darker, but in a “the author is treating the idea of a society-wide conflict over blood purity much more seriously than JKR ever did” way, not a sensationalist way. Now, Hermione has to grapple with all her grief at losing everyone she’s ever loved or known, the moral/ethical/magical implications of sharing what she knows about her future in an alternate world, and, you know, a goddamn war with people who want to murder her for being who she is. This Hermione is smart, and she’s kind, and she’s powerful, and she’s making real friends. If you hate JKR’s guts I’d go read this right now, because it delivers in all the ways she failed us. It’s plotty, its got great world-building, and it pulls back the white curtain on the wizarding world to show you that, like real life, it’s multicultural and full of queer people...and the discrimination that comes with both.

shuofthewind write epics, mainly for the MCU, and I’ve read some of them a looooong time ago, so this fic kinda seemed out of left field for me but im SOOOO GLAD it exists. If you want MCU fic you can sink your teeth into, go for it, but alas, they do not have any more HP fic (.......yet?)

Speak Now [+] Listen Now, by mrsfrizzle on AO3, 33k altogether

Harry reaches out to Remus for support because Umbridge is getting to him with her literal torture. Remus, being a former professor, former mandatory reporter, person who loves Harry and has since he was born, and all around good man, tells Harry he has to tell someone, or Remus will. It’s everything any adult looking back on that time in HP canon ever wanted, which is for an actual adult to say “what the fuck, those are literal chidlren” and then do something about it. Then, a far more dangerous task: Harry trusts Remus enough to go to him about the Dursleys. Harry and Remus’ relationship develops SO WELL, and there’s a bit of exploration about how Sirius may not exactly be guardian material, because he did in fact spend 12 years of his life getting tortured instead of growing up. I think I’m actually going to go reread this right now, because it speaks to my id.

they do have some other HP fic which did not appeal to my hyperspecific wants, but may appeal to some of yours. I think they’re also a published author, there should be a link on their profile page.

chase the stars, by Duskglass on AO3, 101k (@felix-duskglass on tumblr)

When Harry is five years old, a picture of him ends up in the Daily Prophet, and Sirius Black, Terror of Ministry Officials Touring Azkaban everywhere, gets a hold of that issue. He then, in order: breaks out of Azkaban; crosses the countryside to Surrey; Finds Harry: Kidnaps Harry; Breaks Into Remus’ Apartment; starts processing (or maybe just acknowledging) his trauma from Azkaban, the war, and his childhood; and pines after Remus. It’s a little plotty, and deals a lot (sometimes through flashbacks) with the specific awful things that happened to Sirius—largely because, after years in the constant presence of Dementors, those are nearly literally the only memories he has left. It’s a wonder he’s got the strength to love Harry and Remus at all. But then, maybe it isn’t.

This is a Very Serious Fic, but the rest of Duskglass’s HP work is actually just cracky enough to tickle your funny-bone, while still making you think “okay but why couldn’t we have done that in the first place.”

So! That’s it for recs, for now. These are all things I’ve found and read in the last month; if any of y’all are interested in my old HP recs, let me know and I can make a post for that, too. While I’m still very conflicted about my choice of current fandom, I am not in ANY way conflicted about my taste in fic and authors. Send these guys some love, read their fic if you’re so inclined, and leave some nice comments at the end of it.

#harry potter #hp #fic recs #hp fic #to the authors: if for some reason you don't want to be on this list #let me know and i'll be happy to take your part down #tho i'm hoping you're fine with it because i want other people to read this stuff #and then cry about it with me #harry potter fic #harry potter fic recs

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hpdabbles · 3 years

Text

Love Limit: Seven years 2

Harry couldn't keep still, fidgeting in his seat with restless energy bubbling under his skin. He had been like that since he woke this morning, though his parents assured him it was normal to be a bit nervous for his first day of Hogwarts.

Uncle Remus and Uncle Sirius had been amused by the way he kept looking around in search of sunshine hair. They assumed he was overwhelmed by the crowd of parents and students boarding the express when in reality he was just trying to find the love of his life.

Leo had been quick to hold his hand after his Uncle Sirius teased Harry and the four adults melted at the sight, though Harry knows Leo mostly did it mostly to not lose Harry who was still trying to find Malfoy up until the Black stuffed him into a cart.

The train had left Platform nine and three-fourths about half an hour ago, yet he had not been able to calm since then. How could he?

He was finally going to see Malfoy again, after months of their first meeting. It's been nearly seven months but he thought about the other boy for every day that passed, and he spoke to Leo about just as much.

His best friend was close to smothering him with a pillow a mere three weeks ago during another sleepover where Harry had described the way Malfoy sat in the sunlight for the fifth time.

The two had been spending more time with each other as Leo had officially been made his fiance, two weeks after the meeting between the Potters and the Malfoys.

Malfoy's and Nott's engagement was announced in the Daily Prophet a week following that.

As Harry predicted, Leo wasn't that thrilled by their betrothal even if Dad and Uncle Sirius were over the moon about it and spent a full week celebrating. He wasn't dead set on opposing the arrangement, however, seeing as he wound up with someone whose company he didn't mind.

It was also important to remember that both Harry and Leo had always assumed they would be each other's spouses one day anyway so the announcement came to no suprise.

What did come as a surprise was Harry asking for the breaking of the marriage contract.

Leo had warned him he would only agree to their splitting if Harry could guarantee both Malfoy and Nott would do the same, as well as having a new partner set up for Leo right after. Then and only then, would the Black allow him to be a free man.

Harry took no offense because he knew just how damaging the action could be for his friend. Breaking an engagement was not easy and gave plenty of repercussions to the family name and one's personal image as well.

If Leo allowed Harry to damage his public image without having proof of a new engagement right after, the two would be eaten alive by high society and might wound up in debt for breaking the law at age seventeen if they could not be web by then. The fines were a heavy thing to pay especially with the interest rates rising for every year they continued to be single.

The breaking of an engagement without a backup in place could also lead to exile in extreme cases. Charlie Weasley is a good example of this. His ex-fiance, Nymphadora Tonks, had agreed to the appeal of ending their planned marriage right out of Hogwarts.

Since it was Weasley the one to file at age seventeen, with Tonks being only sixteen, he was the one sent into exile. It was fine with him, seeing as the man already planned to go to Romiona to work with dragons anyway but now he could not return as easily to his home country.

He is allowed three visits per year to see his family- Harry suspected it was the Ministry's way of making people see what they had lost. To add salt to a wound as it were but he wouldn't be able to stay longer than three days.

Tonks as the "wounded" party was not punished with exile nor was she charged the fees seeing as she had still been underage when her engagement went up in flames. The fact remained, however, that she was looked down on for her failed betrothal.

She remained single even with the available muggle-borns around which was much more damaging to her public image and people whispered harshly about her in the streets. Harry had overheard more than one witch or wizard tell their children that they "didn't want to end up like that good for nothing Tonks" when they seemed to be a bit too rowdy.

Harry knew Tonks didn't care or minded being an outcast after meeting her during a visit to Uncle Sirius'. She was unapologetically herself and damn what the masses thought.

Leo didn't have the privilege of such freedom as his distant cousin did.

Harry wouldn't feel the fees as much, neither would Leo, as both came from wealthy families but Leo could not afford to take any political hits without good reason.

He is, after all, the son of a werewolf.

Uncle Remus is constantly under watch by the magical CPS who believed he was not fit to have a child, regardless of the epic court battle it took the man and his husband to win the right to blood adopt. The court gave them Leo and they could take him away just as easily.

Then there were the eyes of all the Lords and Ladies watching Leo's every move, waiting for a mistake that they could turn into a weapon because they wanted to hurt the Ancient and Noble House of Black.

This meant they would go as far as demand Uncle Remus be turned over to the Werewolves Containment Unit or remove Leo as the Heir Presumed for the Black lordship.

Leo's Uncle Regulus is the active Lord Black but he and his partner had yet to find a matching Squib child compatible with their magic so this means Leo, as the next youth close to the main line, is the family heir.

After the death of the previous Lord Black- Leo's grandfather Orion- Lord Black had reinstated both Uncle Sirius and Mrs.Tonks to the family line, claiming they would move past the older generation bigotry.

It might have helped his decision that he too married an "unpure" wizard because he fell in love with a half-blood in Hogwarts even when he had already been promised to another. (Lord Black's original fiance died in the war, as a death eater, and he was not mourned. Harry never knew his name but he does know Uncle Sirius suspected the male had been abusive to his brother)

If Lord Black and Sir Snape did not find a child by the time Leo turned fifteen, then his title will be secured and Leo would become the next head of the house.

From what Harry knew, neither Lord Black nor Sir Snape was that eager to have children, seeing as they didn't really want to be parents. Mom once told him it was because Sir Snape lived in the fear he would be like his father while Lord Black worried he would be a copy of his cold indifferent parents if they ever blood adopted.

They only applied for blood adoption every fifth year or so since the law required them to instead of every year as most would-be parents did. Lord Black and Sir Snape just hoped no new child match their magic every time, breathing a sigh of relief when the Healers apologetically informed them no child was compatible.

They had one more year before the law no longer applied to them and the pair counted down each day with eagerness.

They already behaved as if though Leo is heir apparent instead of presumed anyway.

Leo took his responsibilities as Black Heir very seriously. Happy to do his lessons with Lord Black, about running the family estate, the family business, and his political training much to Uncle Sirius' ire. He enjoyed them, especially when he had always been fascinated by his duties. It was more than just the power that came with the seat of Lord Black, to Leo being the Heir was who he is.

For these reasons he had not broken the engagement between him and Harry, and would not allow it to happen until Harry meet his demands.

"Harry, will you please calm down? You're giving me second-hand anxiety" Leo said, snapping the boy from his thoughts on marriage. Across from him, his best friend was peeling oranges. He handed over the one he was working on with a raised brow. "Eat. You'll feel better."

"Aren't you excited Leo? We're going to see Malfoy and Nott again!"

The boy shrugged "I'm more excited to be starting Hogwarts in all honesty"

"Because Nott will be wearing the school uniform there." Harry deadpanned biting into a slice of orange.

Leo gave a wolfish grin. "You get me."

"Why do you find that attractive?"

"I like brains"

Harry didn't understand what one had to do with the other but he didn't push for more information. Leo was weird like that and sometimes it was better to not question his best friend.

Luckily the door open then so he didn't have to reply. Harry's heart leaps up into his throat only for it to fall when he saw a red-head boy stick his head in rather than the elegant blond he associated with Malfoy.

"Can I join you? Everywhere else is full." the redhead asked a bit unsure. Harry glanced at Leo, who was smiling warmly at the newcomer and he knew the answer.

"Yes, that's fine. Come on in" Harry said getting up to offer his seat. He went over the other booth, as Leo automatically shuffled closer to the window, making space for him. When Harry sat their shoulders pressed up against each other's in a comfortable way.

The boy gave them a grateful little smile, shuffling in with an old beat-down trunk and hunched shoulders. He struggled with putting his trunk away but he didn't ask for help so the two didn't offer any because it seemed he like the type who didn't want to be pitied. Harry mentally put him down in a part of his mind to watch out for and make sure was doing okay.

Once done the boy sat down across from them, suddenly looking a bit nervous.

Taking that as a cue the green eye boy gave him a friendly smile. "I'm Harry Potter, by the way, and this is my fiance Leo Black. It's nice to meet you."

The stranger's mouth drop open in shock, his wide blue eyes swinging between the two with obvious awe. It's to be expected, after all, it's not every day one met the rich and famous.

Harry as the Boy-Who-Defended and Leo as the Pressumive Heir was as rich and famous as they come in modern times. Especially if one was a Quidditch fan, seeing as Leo's family has recently bought three of the major professional teams. Most kids their age were Quidditch enthusiasts so seeing the boy who owns the team they adored was a rare sight indeed.

"I-I'm Ron Weasley! Mom calls me Ronald since that's my full name but only she calls me that so don't worry about it. Ron is fine!" Weasley babbled looking to be swallowing his own tongue.

Harry pretends that awkward introduction wanting to give him a chance to keep his dignity. He searches for a way to make him feel more at ease but Leo beats him to the punch.

"Would you care for an orange?" Leo asks holding out the freshly peeled fruit.

"Oh! Um yes, thank you" Weasley seemed to brighten taking the food with a smile. Leo shoots Harry a victorious look, saying with his eyes, I'm taking care of him so you best take a step back.

Not to be outdone, Harry quickly picks up his travel blanket Mom prepared for him. He had noticed Weasleys' clothes were rather thin for the weather, which meant he would appreciate some warmth.

He offered it to Weasley who seemed unable to refuse, as Harry draped it across his lap, making sure to pull the top end over Weasley's shoulders and effectively tucking him in. A rush of glee washed over Harry's chest at the look of gratitude on the other face but before he could bask in it Leo appeared at his side offering the travel pillow Uncle Remus had gotten them.

Wrapping the pillow around Weasley's neck, Leo quickly offered more oranges as well as aiming a charming smile he only used to disarm and enthrall others.

As predicted Weasley's face turns bright red at the sight. "Ummm..."

"Are you comfortable?" Leo asks.

"Yes?"

"Good." Harry nods. "Let us know what else we can do to make this better, alright?"

Weasley glanced helplessly between them then lowered his eyes. Face as red as his hair the boy mumbles. "I'm already engaged..."

"What?"

"I'm gratefully I am! Flattered too, but see my parents already engaged me to the girl who lives near us. Luna Lovegood."

Harry didn't understand but Leo looked started. "We aren't flirting! I swear we just...like taking care of people."

Weasley looked unsure but he eventually dropped it. The three spent some time chatting about everything and nothing, buying some candy from the cart when it came by but he eventually grew tired and fell asleep with his head pillowed on Leo's shoulder.

Harry had been so excited the night before he barely got any sleep so now he was paying for it. When he opened his eyes much later he found Weasley reading through one of the comics of a superhero that Harry brought along- Leo must have lent it to him at one point- but there were also two newcomers.

Nott was telling Leo all about a book series he recently started, while his fiance keeps making doe eyes at him. Harry barely notice however because Malfoy was sitting right across from him seemingly disgusted by whatever Batman had done.

When their eyes met every thought Harry had in his head went right out the window. "Hello again Potter"

Harry had been waiting for this moment. Had a dream of for weeks, had planned what he would say, how he would act, and yet when he opened his mouth the only noise that came out was a choking squeal.

Malfoy looked highly unimpressed and Harry wanted to die. Leo snickered attempting to cover up a full-blown laugh while Weasley didn't even try. Nott merely waited until Leo stop chuckling before launching back into the plot of his book.

Year one was starting off great it seemed.

#hpdabbles #Love Limit: Seven Years #Part 2 #Drarry #Leo Black Lupin #Harry and Leo are bffs that everyone thinks are gay #They really like taking care of people #Draco thinks Harry is a idiot #Ron is bombarded by overly caring peps

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limetimo · 3 years

Text

I Killed My Darling

A bit I wrote for Unfroggivable that didn't feel right posting as a part of the chapter/work

Uncle Cygnus wanted Ted Tonks dead. Heard him talking about it. With mother.

He didn’t doubt Regulus’ words. The little snake was often so quiet, people would forget he was in the room and talk freely around him. He also had the patience to stay and listen, unlike Sirius himself who quickly got bored of adults talking and would either get lost or get lost in his head thinking about new pranks to pull at Hogwarts. ‘You don’t know shit about shit,’ Regulus had yelled at him and - he wasn’t wrong. Regulus was much better informed about the relationships within the family, simply because he spent time with them and paid attention.

If he said mother and uncle might try to hurt Remus to get him out of the way, Sirius was going to believe him.

And he would burn the House of Black to the ground if they dared.

Prongs and Wormtail would help. And recent events gave Sirius hope that his little brother would be by his side too.

Back in the kitchen, Remus sat huddled close with James, who was whispering to him; probably reassurances. Sirius came up behind their chairs and slung his arms around their necks, his chin between their shoulders. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself.”

“You alright?”

He gave his friends a squeeze and let go to sit down next to Moony, keeping one arm around his shoulders. He was there, safe, his. “Fine. Reggie yelled at me for a bit and then he passed out. Moms and dad are putting him to bed now.”

“Is he going to be okay?” Remus asked.

Sirius nodded. “He’ll be fine. Just needs some sleep, he didn’t catch a blink at the police station.”

“The where,” Prongs gaped, and Sirius’ grinned. He leaned forward to see his best mate properly, gleeful to finally tell his friends all about his little adventure.

“Prongs. My mate. It was glorious. I’m pretty sure Reggie broke into father’s office and did something because otherwise that mouldy bat would’ve dragged us back home already.” Neither boy asked if the ‘mouldy bat’ referred to his mother or house elf; they knew it was interchangeable. “He climbed out of my bedroom’s window and sneaked on a train without a ticket. Then he swindled this clerk in Cambridge into buying half his jewellery box for muggle money. Guys, I’m so mad we never roped him into helping us with anything. I’m telling you he could tell McGonagall the merpeople ate his homework and she. would. buy it! And then. And then. On the train, there was this little girl who thought he was a fairy prince! Like a prince of fairies!”

“No way! What’d he say,” James asked, also leaning as close as he could. Remus was sandwiched between them, long-suffering, resigned to his fate and happy to be there.

“Wait up, I’ll show you,” Sirius jumped out of his chair and rushed back to the bathroom, where Regulus’ duffle bag lay forgotten. He brought it to the kitchen and found Reggie’s journal, and the drawing tucked safely between its pages. “Here! That’s Prince Reggie, that’s Cake - the girl, and this is me.”

“Aaawww,” Prongs cooed and snickered, “Mister Ribbit?”

“We had to use fake names so our evil witch stepmother wouldn’t find us,” Sirius snickered. “And Cake’s mom knew so many frog jokes so horrible they were actually good. Like, what’s green and dangerous?”

“An apple scented dish soap,” Moony deadpanned without missing a beat.

“Close,” he grinned and pressed a small kiss on the back of Remus’ hand. The gesture filled him with an unexpected amount of joy and judging by the other boy’s blush, he liked it too. “It’s a frog with a hand-grenade.”

Prongs tried not to laugh and failed horribly.

“What’s green green green green green?” Sirius pressed on, grinning widely. He rummaged around the bag. He found a change of his own clothes and his toiletries bag…

“I don’t know, a frog on a carousel?”

Regulus’ everyday-wear robes, the biscuits Cake’s mom gave them, socks and underwear…

“No, that one goes a little different,” Moony shook his head. “Green green green green is a frog rolling down the hill; when it’s white and black and green it’s a frog on a newspaper. And green and red and spinning really fast is a frog in a kitchen mixer.”

“I don’t know what a kitchen mixer is and I think I’m too afraid to ask.”

And in a side pocket a velvet pouch with their wands. Sirius took them out, his ebony and phoenix a comforting weight in his hand. Regulus’ hawthorne and unicorn mane was familiar to him too; when they were younger they would sometimes swap, for fun. Sirius’ wand was reluctant at best in Regulus’ hand. Sirius could use Regulus’ wand easily - except for that time he tried to jinx his brother with it and lost his eyebrows when it backfired. He rolled the wands between his palms like drumsticks.

“Sirius,” Remus scolded.

“Sorry.”

Prongs plucked another picture from the pile of leaflets, receipts and tickets Regulus had accumulated in his journal across the country. “What’s this?”

“That’s my mugshot,” Sirius said proudly. “Do you think we could go back and get Reggie’s too? I’d like to frame them and put them on the mantelpiece.”

“Why did they take your mugshots? He’s underage and you were an amphibian,” Moony frowned, even as he pulled the photograph closer to inspect it.

Sirius shrugged. “He was trying to get a room in this really seedy place - imagine Hog’s Head, but it’s a hotel and there are no goats. The lady at the counter must’ve thought he was some sort of a delinquent-”

“Ha,” Prongs laughed, “your brother, a delinquent. Did he even have a detention ever?”

“Um, yeah, he did,” Sirius wracked his brain, “that time he kicked Diggory in the face, remember?”

“That was Quidditch, doesn’t count. Diggory was just a big baby about it.”

None of them could recall any details about the scuffle where the Slytherin Seeker (a third year at the time) allegedly broke the Ravenclaw Chaser’s (sixth year) nose, but they remembered a great deal of other Quidditch and/or injuries related shenanigans; and for a while, the events of the last days were forgotten.

Then the adults returned and with them, the harsh reality.

“He’s all tucked in and sleeping like a baby,” Mia reported with a smile as she sat down across Sirius. Monty made the beeline for his abandoned teacup and Hope threaded her fingers through her son’s hair. James got up to offer her his seat, as there were only four. That put the moms on one side of the table and the boys on the other, which… for the conversation that was to follow didn’t feel right. Sirius pressed his lips to Remus’ shoulder before he got up and took James’ seat, so that Remus and Hope could sit together; Hope facing Mia and Remus facing Sirius. “Did you write to your friend that you’re alright yet, love?”

“Uhm what friend?” Sirius asked, just as James slapped his forehead.

“Evans! Yeah, no, we didn’t.”

“I’ll get you something to write,” Remus jumped up.

“Oh right, Evans! So the letter arrived fine? I honestly thought Snivellius would throw it away. I honestly thought Snivellius would throw it out.”

“Just about fifteen minutes before you two,” Remus confirmed, setting a binder with stationery and a fountain pen in front of his beloved. stationery and a couple different muggle pens in front of his… boyfriend.

“What would you do if he did throw it away?” James wanted to know.

“No idea,” Sirius admitted and took the pen, then paused and turned to Prongs. “Should I write it or do you want to write it?” he grinned. He has just gotten his happily ever after, what kind of a friend would he be if he didn’t help his best mate have his?

“Ooh, I’ll write it!” Sirius vacated the seat and rested his arms on James’ shoulders, so that he could read as James wrote. Or that was the plan, but he got distracted by Fleamont.

“So, lads, did you decide if you’re going to write to your grandfather or not?” the man asked, taking another brownie. Much like his son he couldn’t keep still to save his life, and fiddling with and nibbling on baked goods was a good way of channeling the restless energy.

“Yeah, yes, we… decided it was worth a shot.” He glanced at Remus, then back at Monty. “What do you think? You’re like, his nephew or something, right? Do you think he’ll… I don’t know, support us?” Despite Reggie’s reassurances he wasn’t quite sure he believed it.

Monty sighed. “I haven’t seen uncle Arcturus since mother passed,” he reminiscented.

“We haven't seen him since about grandma Melanie’s funeral,” Sirius confessed. “He pretty much became a hermit afterwards.”

“Well, for all it's worth, he loved your grandmother very much. Perhaps seeing how happy you two make each other… not to forget the curse. Unless he names Regulus his heir in your stead but then he might just as well give you two his blessing anyway.”

Sirius didn’t even blink at the jump from point A to point E, used to it from Prongs.

“I believe Lord Black will let himself be swayed,” Mia smiled, a flash of mischief in her warm eyes, “after all I have yet to meet anyone who could say no to Remus.”

Sirius barked in laughter and clapped his friend’s shoulder. “Reggie said the same thing! He thinks you’re ‘quite likeable’,” he quoted, snaking his arms around Remus’ neck, talking against Remus’ blushing cheek. It was almost the same as all the times he teased his friend; the joy of making him smile, the flutters in his stomach when he managed to make Remus blush…

How obtuse had Sirius been to not have noticed the difference between his feelings towards Remus and the rest of his friends? At this rate, he might even have to thank his mother for cursing him.

“Wow, the highest praise,” Remus said dryly, relaxing back into Sirius’ chest.

“I call dibs on being Sirius’ best man,” James called out. Duh, that went without saying.

“You can have Wormtail, Moony,” he said magnanimously, and pulled Prong’s half finished letter closer to read it. “Also dibs on Marls as my bridesmaid.”

Hi Evans,

Thanks again for Baby Black’s letter! We found them by the way, Baby Black missed his stop and they ended up at Remus’ today around noon. Sirius is fine, his crazy mom only cursed him into a frog-

“A toad,” Sirius corrected, taking the pen away from James.

-cursed him into a frog toad, I’ll tell you all about it at school. Him and Remus are getting married, do you want to be Remus’ bridesmaid?

“You do know that this raises more questions than it answers, right?” Remus asked because one could not be sure with Jamie.

“That’s a good thing, she’ll have to talk to him this way,” Sirius reasoned. “Also bold of you to invite your crush to our wedding.”

“Moony doesn’t mind, right, Moony?”

“No, I like Lily, I’d love her as my bridesmaid. But you’re forbidden from annoying her.” Remus pinched the bridge of his nose. “And we’re - engaged, not getting married yet, at least not until after graduation. Merlin.”

(The adults in the room heaved a collective sigh of relief.)

“What do you mean we’re engaged?” Sirius asked, affronted. “We’re not engaged until I get on one knee, mister. And that’s only happening after I find just the right jewelry to propose with. Until then we’re promised to each other. Wait, here,” he took off his signet ring and, thanking Merlin that the silver thing was a myth, slipped it on Remus’ long, slim finger.

“There. That’s our promise ring. Now everybody will know you belong with me,” he grinned and planted a small dry kiss on Remus’ cheekbone.

“Oh fuck me,” Remus muttered, a blush spreading over his cheeks.

James gasped in pretended shock and Sirius was so torn between quipping “With pleasure,” and a scandalised “Not before the wedding night!” that Mrs. Potter beat him to it.

Remus hid his face in his hands. “I’m canceling the engagement,” he declared, “enjoy being human while you can.”

“It would hardly have been a really serious engagement if it hadn’t been broken off at least once,” Hope quoted cheekily, but rubbed her son’s back in a quiet display of support.

“Not engaged, promised,” Mister Potter reminded them all with a chuckle. “It would be improper to get engaged without respective families’ blessings. Which brings us back to, Sirius, would you like my help with writing to your grandfather?”

“Ah, yes please,” Sirius grimaced. He had no idea how to talk to the old man, as his grandson or as his heir.

With a nod, Mia took a blank paper from the pile of stationery Remus brought over, and one of the fountain pens. “Let’s see… Dear grandfather, I am writing to you in a matter of great importance and even greater joy…”

#unfrogivable curse #my writing #bad jokes

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drarryspecificrecs · 5 years

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milf-lover42 · 4 years

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Bellatrix and Azula are the same character, change my mind

As most people can tell, Bellatrix Lestrange is my all time favorite character. I might get new favorites every time I watch a new show, and they all share a general similarity (let’s face it… I have a type, and if you’re reading this here on tumblr dot com… you do too, don’t lie). However, no character has ever come close to beating Bellatrix for top spot. And then I watched A:TLA for the first time a few weeks ago. I didn’t watch it as a kid, I was just young enough (2003 babeyy) that I wasn’t watching tv when it was on. Azula is obviously my favorite from this show, and is also the only character to ever come close to Bellatrix’ spot in my heart. But thinking about this and all the headcanons that people have made for the Black family dynamic… it seems like a pretty straightforward connection. Azula is essentially just a young Bellatrix.

Almost all of these Black family headcanons have been taken from fanfictions I have read over the years, and so the credit goes to their respective authors. Many overlap so I cannot pinpoint each author to each one, and it has been a while since reading some of them. Most notable of these would be Glass Silence by Zarrene Moss. There are many more fantastic stories I have drawn from but I couldn’t remember every fanfiction I’ve read to pick out each detail. For all the Azula stuff, I am drawing from Hello Future Me’s video on Youtube “The Psychology of Azula | Avatar: The Last Airbender”. If you want to spend an hour watching that I highly recommend it. Basically none of this is mine, I’m just using the headcanons and research of others to tie Bellatrix to Azula.

Let’s start with their family dynamics. Bellatrix is the oldest of the Black sisters, and has no brother. Although not stated in canon, (because apparently she’s too minor a character to deserve a backstory) it is presumed that all the duties of a male heir fell to her in a way. Marry young and marry a rich pureblood, carry on the family name and power, and secure a high social standing. Pureblood society is extremely archaic, if the treatment of muggle-borns is anything to go by, so we can safely assume that they are a very patriarchal society. Cygnus and Druella Black almost certainly wanted a son to carry on their name, especially given Walburga and Orion had both Sirius and Regulus. We can also assume that they weren’t exactly the kindest parents. At best, Druella was a silent wife subjected to abuse from her husband and ultimately was unable to keep her children safe; at worst she actively joined Cygnus in abusing their children. Each of the sisters have a unique way of dealing with this.

Andromeda handled it by running away, completely rebelling. She fell in love with Ted Tonks, a muggle-born. I doubt this in itself was an act of rebellion, I think she simply realized how stupid blood supremacy was after speaking to him. Once she fell in love it’s clear she wanted to break away from her family so that she could marry him. Clearly her parents knew, and it’s likely she told them herself. Given Ted was a muggleborn I can’t imagine her parents reacting with a simple, “No he is beneath you, we forbid it.” They probably acted harshly in an attempt to make it stick in her head that the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black would not associate with m*dbloods. Either she ran away or was kicked out, but either way she stayed with Ted and didn’t listen to her parents.

Narcissa shut off and blocked all her emotions. Obviously as an adult she actively practices the same beliefs her parents did, but as a teenager I don’t see this as being who she was. As an adult she is very cold and unemotional. The only person she truly cares about is her son, Draco. She cares about Bella still, she just doesn’t show it because she wasn’t allowed to as a child. As for her feelings toward Lucius... it is unclear. Depending on where you stand, she either could have been forced into a marriage with him, or they were in love as teenagers and got lucky enough that their parents arranged for them to marry each other. My personal opinion is they were forced. I think Lucius was supposed to be married to Andy but when she ran away, the Blacks had to hold up their end of the deal with the Malfoy’s and so Narcissa was married off to him. She embodies the whole “Ice Queen” personality. In order to cope with the trauma and her unwanted marriage, she just blocked all emotion to keep herself sane, only showing it for Draco.

And then we come to Bellatrix. Bellatrix, who had too many expectations to live up to, so many roles to fill, and no positive reinforcement from parents who just abused her if she messed up. She felt everything. She was the oldest and cared greatly for her younger sisters, and probably did her best to take any of the abuse that was going to be given to Narcissa or Andromeda. She used herself as their shield because they were the most important thing to her. Even after joining Voldemort and going insane she makes it very clear how she feels about Narcissa. Bellatrix would follow Voldemort's orders to the ends of the Earth, but the second she is asked to trust Snape, she says that Voldemort has made an error in judgement. Cissa wants to go to him and ask him to keep Draco safe, but Bellatrix advises against this. Only when her sister is in potential danger does Bellatrix doubt her master. Even at the height of her insanity her sister is the most important thing to her. We can assume as a child she felt the same for Andy. In fact in my opinion she never really stopped caring about her until Azkaban, I think she pretended to hate her when she came out about Ted Tonks, but only did so so that Andy would run away and live her life with the man she loved. She was safer away from their parents anyway. It didn’t matter if Bellatrix thought negatively about muggle-borns; she just wanted her sister to be safe. After going insane however, she truly seems to hate Ted for being a muggle-born, and she kills their half-blood daughter Nymphadora.

In order to cope with the trauma of her childhood Bellatrix used all of those emotions as fuel for her magic. She is an incredibly powerful witch and is massively intelligent (although why she didn’t just use Legilimens on the Golden Trio will baffle me forever… it would have been so simple…). However because of this coping mechanism, she is driven insane. It’s not instant, in fact it probably took years (probably that stint in Azkaban, lads) for the insanity to fully develop and take hold. All of that exposure to Dementors would have forced her to relive the trauma of her childhood over and over, while taking away the happy memories of her sisters.

Bellatrix was given a support system to break away from her family. Now it’s not a good or healthy one, but it is one nonetheless. After being treated so poorly by her parents, and forced into a marriage with Rodolphus, she needed freedom. When Tom Riddle comes along and praises her skill and offers her a spot as his best lieutenant? Of course she’s going to take that. Finally some recognition, and a good amount of safety. Not to mention missions and tasks given to her and others to her husband that mean she doesn’t have to be around him. Bellatrix was mistreated by her father and mother, but probably always wanted her father’s recognition. Her mother probably preferred Narcissa because she could be groomed into the perfect pureblood wife. Bellatrix latched onto Voldemort to gain recognition, praise, and power. But I can imagine as a teenager, having a complete breakdown at least once, especially after being told she’d be married off to Rodolphus. Demolishing her room with magic, windows breaking, personal items being thrown either by hand or by magic, and screaming and crying at the end. Very similar to Azula’s breakdown in her final scene.

Now we come to Princess Azula. She has an older brother, Zuko, but is always given the limelight. She receives a ceremonial headpiece that she is always seen wearing, but Zuko does not. He might be the boy, but he isn’t expected to take the crown. Azula is even named after her grandfather Azulon, who was Firelord. She was always expected to be the next Firelord over Zuko. Her future was never her own. She is a firebending prodigy, always showing off her skills, whereas Zuko falls behind. She is favored by her father Ozai for sure, but she is never truly praised. She is simply a means to an end to him. She was always expected to be the best. Although it isn’t shown in the TV series, in the A:TLA comics Ursa and Ozia’s relationship is depicted as abusive. He cuts her off from her family saying that he is all she will need.

There are theories as to whether or not Azula has a Machievellian personality type, or ASPD or NPD that could have been a root cause of her diminishing sanity, and after looking into those they seem very plausible. She lacks empathy, she emotionally manipulates everyone, and she has a messed up sense of right and wrong. Altruism just doesn’t make sense to her, and emotions are not genuine, simply stories made to get your way. Ursa rewards empathy, love and trust, which is why she clearly favors Zuko. But Ozai rewards power, cunning, and loyalty. They are complete opposites so it is not possible to please both of them. If she has any of these mental disorders it would be impossible to please her mother, so she focused on making her father proud. But Ozai never really shows any level of praise towards her, so she constantly tries to better herself. If she isn’t perfect, she’s failed.

At the end of A:TLA, Ozai forces her to stay behind in the Fire Nation. He says it’s because they need a Firelord because he will be leaving. Azula is disappointed to not partake in the final battle, but it’s what her father wants, so she obeys. However, he only leaves her so that he can become the supreme leader of everyone, or “Phoenix King”. Azula doesn’t really get a promotion, just a fancy name. In the finale, she is shown as her mental state quickly deteriorates. Her perfect image is gone, her hair is not up, her makeup undone, and she is paranoid that everyone is out to get her. This is the beginning of her breakdown. When she is unable to put her hair up by herself, she cuts her bangs. Her hair is all of a sudden asymmetrical, which is unheard of. She then starts to hallucinate. By the time she fights Zuko and Katara she is extremely unstable, and the fact that she can actually still bend is incredible, because it requires control of your emotions. She instead manages to use her emotions to fuel her bending. At the end when she is defeated, she finally breaks. Her bending is out of control, and she is left screaming and crying.

Azula never had anyone take her under their wing and give her the recognition she craved. Zuko had Iroh. Bellatrix had Voldemort. If Azula had been introduced to someone like Voldemort she would have gone down the same path as Bellatrix. Likewise, if Bellatrix hadn’t been introduced to Voldemort she would have ended up broken just like Azula. Their stories aren’t identical obviously, but there are some strong parallels that place them together, so I can see them as the same person with different outcomes to their story.

Does this stupidly long character analysis have any significant purpose? Nah, not at all. But like… I’m clearly right so… yeah.

#bellatrix black #bellatrix lestrange #azula #princess azula #azula deserved better #A:TLA #A:TLA azula #bellatrix black lestrange #druella black #cygnus black #narcissa malfoy #andromeda tonks #guys im not crazy i swear #i just feel passionately about these characters #bellamione

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halothenthehorns · 3 years

Text

All in the Family

Chapter 132: The Lost Prophecy

The circular office was strewn with bits of broken odds and ends like glittering tears embedded in the carpet, Fawkes was watching them all steadily from the ashes and made a silly little squeaking noise from his baby beak, and the portraits were calling and yelling at them in surprise when reality finally settled back.

Regulus shook his head slowly like he was still trying to get water out of his ears rather than that noise. He couldn't believe it had come from Sirius of all people. It was the most humanizing moment he'd ever seen in his life from his big brother, no longer the confident adult akin to dad. Just a scared teenager who had no idea how to deal with all of this like him.

He still didn't particularly like Potter, he seemed as arrogant as Evans always said, but at least acknowledged it as a good thing he'd been replaced. He certainly hadn't known what to do to help his brother. He'd thought Sirius was helping himself by keeping his emotions at a distance, and he'd obviously been wrong about that.

Sitting up slowly and having to dig a bit of something from out of his fingers from the wreck of this office, he took in the rest of this place with even more unease. If someone had broken in to steal something of worth in the Headmaster's absence, they hadn't done a good job of it as the Sword of Gryffindor was still visible in its case next to the Hat, and the Pensieve was still in its cupboard, as Longbottom proved when he cracked it open and bathed them all in blue light. Clearly valuables hadn't been the goal then, but why just upend all of the headmaster's trinkets? It certainly hadn't been them to do it, nobody had landed close enough to be the source.

The girls opened a door and came out of Dumbledore's adjoining room. A grand bed with plum sheets looked rumpled from one of their landing, Evans was rubbing her head from whatever she'd hit in there.

"Can you imagine how much knowledge must be in that thing," Peter surprised him by saying right beside him, hand outstretched. He was looking from the Pensieve and back with a teasing smile, but Regulus had no desire to stick his head in that. He took the offer reluctantly, surprised he stayed on his feet for as shaky as he felt. "This whole room even, wonder if he's working on another use for dragon's blood somewhere."

Regulus couldn't think of anything to say to that, biting down hard on his cheek as he tried to figure out what to do now. He did want to talk to Sirius, but the image of his big brother in his head had been shattered as much as these items, what was he supposed to say?

"He'll be alright, honestly," Peter told him gently. "Prongs will keep him in order, he just needed to, you know, be serious for a moment," he smirked at his own joke.

Regulus gave a surprised smile, and Sirius full-blown laughed. It wasn't a small office after all.

"Who else would I be Wormy?" He shot back, still slouching comfortably against the door like he hadn't tried to leave, Potter beside him rolling his eyes and audibly grumbling at Peter encouraging that stupidity.

Lupin was failing to hide a smile at the exchange as he grabbed the book from Dumbledore's desk. "The Lost Prophecy," he read with such surprise he actually dropped the book again, making a crunch as it smashed something into even more pieces.

The room stayed frozen for several long moments before Lupin shook himself and grabbed the book back quickly with an uneasy look at Potter, who had frozen up as if another death had been announced all over again. Sirius moved instantly, rubbing at his arm and muttering something for their ears alone. He relaxed, just a touch, and jerked his head away from the book, glaring out the window with very forced obvious disinterest.

"What, no bets on how Harry magically managed to come across this thing again?" Sirius offered weakly, but when his best mate didn't react, Sirius just gave Lupin a weary look of preparation. "Go on then Moony, let's get it over with. I'm still more worried about Harry than that stupid thing anyways."

Lupin didn't seem to agree, but he took a breath and started.

Harry was in pain. The kind of pain nobody would ever ask for, the loss of his only connection to his parents he'd ever known, or ever would again apparently. Regulus didn't know why Lupin was reading this, as if to spotlight how he once again was absent in Harry's life when needed. He kept going though, as the explanation came readily that it was Harry who had destroyed all this stuff in a rage to Dumbledore. Lupin just kept going though, his tone apologetic and full of sorrow as he kept watching his two mates, but there was something in there Regulus didn't understand, he just didn't know the guy well enough.

Then he looked at Peter and saw how he was studying Lupin and alternately eyeing the surrounding office, and thought he may be able to guess. Dumbledore had let a werewolf into this school when many a headmaster wouldn't dare, and Lupin had been big on defending the Headmaster back when all this had started. That had waned out a bit with each passing book, now he may in fact be doing this as an act of contrition.

The Boy Who Lived wasn't getting much comfort from the old man either, the explanation now coming in droves about his own hand in this horrible scheme of Occlumency and secrets put in him the desire to walk out of this school and never return, it was a wonder Sirius wasn't following in his godson's footsteps and destroying everything in sight.

Potter was the one crying now though, his arm tight around Sirius who wouldn't dare move away as his best mate seemed to have all the energy drained out of him to never return for every dirty crime listed. That it was Kreacher's doing, and the wise leader of the Order told Sirius only had himself to blame for it.

Regulus wanted to be sick at the idea. He wanted to scream like Sirius had and hope that made him feel better but knew it wouldn't. If he could plug up his ears and forget this one thing he knew he would in a heartbeat, that it was his beloved house-elf to be the death of his brother. Sirius looked infuriated beyond belief, it was hard to believe he'd ever hide any emotion again as he bellowed at the top of his lungs for Kreacher to be here right now, but no such summons was acknowledged for the first time in his life.

"Sirius, that's not helping," Regulus pleaded. "You can't just, he didn't mean-"

"Don't you dare Regulus!" Sirius snapped. He didn't take one step away from Potter as he turned all that fury on him now. "He meant to do exactly what happened! Injuring Buckbeak, trying to get Harry killed because of me! He's a worthless piece of shit just like your parents always wanted!"

Regulus winced at every blow, especially the 'your.' Did he already consider himself so unlike him? "Just listen, please," he didn't have an attic to hide away from his brother shouting. If he stopped arguing and pretended he didn't care like Sirius had then maybe he might do something worse than just scream. He'd always learned from his brother's mistakes, and he didn't want to pretend this wasn't horrible to him. To his complete surprise, Sirius really looked at him for a moment, then Peter, and closed his mouth.

The expression was still terrifying, no one could glower like a Black, but Regulus deliriously whispered, "he doesn't know better Sirius! You hate him, I know that, but he's got good in him, just like everybody! Haven't you wondered why he wasn't at home, why the house-elves aren't here at Hogwarts! You can't just want him dead because he's like our parents anymore than-"

He stopped as a soul deep cold whispered in his ear maybe Sirius had changed his mind and didn't care if he died anymore.

"I'm not asking you to like him," he finished in a miserable whisper. "Just, don't, hate him without giving him a chance to try."

Sirius slowly dropped the glare and kept watching him. His eyes flickered around the destroyed office and to his three friends then back to him and Regulus counted silently in his head all the different ways Sirius could kill him in this place just to be rid of his commentary.

His brother slowly eased the tension out of him though, and went back to leaning against his best mate without taking his eyes off of him. His voice was rough, but he sounded like he was actually trying to joke, "am I allowed to hate anyone in this future without that being thrown in my face?"

"Voldemort," Potter said at once with his own glare still held upon the world beyond.

"Bellatrix," Longbottom and Alice spoke at once, a word beyond redemption needed for her.

"Umbridge," Peter and Lupin spoke together with looks of distaste.

"Those Dursleys," Evans finished quietly but calmly.

"I accept that," Sirius finally forced a grin. He didn't really look like he meant it, but the fact that he stopped at all to even hear Regulus out meant the world to him right now, he wasn't going to keep pushing. Kreacher could be better if he just had some other influence, he just knew it! Not everything with their name on it had to end in ruins, surely.

Lupin finally kept going and he watched Evans pace in stark contrast, clearly furious her son was trying to futilely blame all this on Severus when Dumbledore offered explanation for where he'd been, but nobody needed to tell her how flimsy it felt. That Snape had really spent the whole night just wandering around the Forbidden Forest, and hadn't come across the centaurs and Grawp himself to figure all this out, he was more accomplished than that and surely should have been able to join the Order rather than conveniently being left out of the whole instance and not forced to pick a side. It seemed cruel nobody around here was getting the answers they so desperately wanted while Dumbledore explained Harry's life in painful detail to him.

The Prophecy that had set Voldemort after the Potters was issued by one now very familiar Divination teacher to them all.

"It would be her!" Sirius said with such ferocity the woman should have been ducking for cover no matter when she was now. "Bloody her that ruined my life the first time, now we're at round two!"

"I know Padfoot," James agreed patiently, "we'll lock her in a closet for the rest of her life when this is over so she can't be making any more of them, but please-" his voice broke at the end, and Sirius needed no further prompting to keep his mouth shut, a feat only James Potter had ever accomplished. Sirius knew he'd go mad without help if he had to wait any longer to hear this.

James felt like his ears were still ringing long after Remus had stopped reading that prophecy. This one was somehow even more vague than the one that had apparently been Sirius's doom, the only factor that related it to Harry was his birthday, but nothing at all for him to work with, fix some way out of this except possibly being a little choosy when they had their firstborn if that even worked. For all he knew when the prophecy was spoken again it would just change to that month. If he'd had any hope left clinging to his and Lily's son it was gone now, he couldn't condemn a child to this future that had his name in that Hall of Prophecy with no foreseeable way out of it for him.

There was nothing else to do. He couldn't not defy Voldemort, he couldn't stop any of that.

Sirius didn't have to imagine what Harry looked like sitting in this office, his future in ruins, because he was seeing it live. He'd never seen James look so defeated, not about any problem in the world. It had been him to come up with the animagus plan, his brilliant idea to keep Remus and Peter around when Sirius hadn't even originally wanted anything to do with them. His persistent optimism Evans would say yes any day only rivaled his absolute assurances there was more laughter to be had around the next corner if they just followed him.

He would not just sit here and let the fight drain out of James.

"Hey Prongs, I've got a secret," Sirius said at the top of his lungs. "We figured out Voldemort's weapon before him!"

James tried to smile for him, but it didn't feel real, Dumbledore had known this in its entirety this whole time and it hadn't helped Harry a lick, what good was he?

He saw a flash of red out of the corner of his eye, and he chanced a glance up in confusion what Fawkes would have swooped over here for, before his heart stuttered in surprise to see Evans staring down at him, hands on her hips. He couldn't guess at the look on her face, she'd never looked at him so directly with anything other than contempt.

"So, this thrice defined bit," she said airily, "you think it was three times each, or I did it twice more than you? I personally hope it's not something as silly a technicality as not joining Death Eaters, it should be something much more direct like actually hitting him with a curse or two."

Ironically, before, it was like he was trying to watch her without his glasses on, blurry and only the color easy to focus on. She'd always been such a constant fiery presence in his life. Now he really just sat here and looked at her, that this was like a new language to him, just seeing her speak as a normal girl.

"I'll take that as a challenge," he told her casually.

"That's exactly what I was hoping you'd say," she nodded, already turning back away. "Wouldn't be any fun if you just gave up."

Sirius now looked like the one who was dumbstruck as she walked away, but James could only shrug without answer and smile.

Remus kept going gently, some ingrained part of him still hoping Dumbledore would have another answer than this obliqueness, and finally his wish seemed to come true as the headmaster magically gifted them with the smallest ray of hope.

"What does he mean it might not have been Harry? That one we saw at the Ministry, it had Harry's name on it," stringing words together seemed to be paining Prongs greatly, but he latched heavily onto this.

"There was that odd question mark on it though," Peter corrected. "The rest all makes sense now, those were Dumbledore's and Trelawney's initials, but this must mean someone didn't put that in there until after-"

He stopped with a wince, and they didn't need him to finish anyways.

It still didn't feel like much of an answer, especially with the news that Neville could have been the other child!

Alice turned gray and Frank let out such a yelp it was as if he'd dodged his own deadly curse.

Lily instantly began hugging her friend, she wanted to do the same to Frank but he was already moving. He walked almost calmly to Dumbledore's desk, not even looking twice at Lupin or the book until he found a quill to load up with ink and a bit of parchment, then offered his hand that only just slightly trembled if one were watching for it. "May I?"

Lupin wordlessly passed it along and they watched as he copied down the prophecy and stuck it very purposefully in his pocket before handing the book back, then going over and taking his girlfriend's hand. It didn't matter the words now felt seared into their brains, he was now determined every chance they got he'd look at them every day until he found some way to break out of this and stop any Dark Lord from ever darkening their lives again.

"Is that it then?" Alice asked into the ever growing silence.

"No," Lupin whispered, still holding the book and watching Sirius and Potter. "Just, not sure how much more of this I can take."

"That's okay Moony," Sirius still managed a grin, now of all times. "Voldemort's been tormenting people before and after these two boys, but now Harry's given us a way to fight back. That power the Dark Lord knows not, maybe it's his self-destruct button!"

Potter laughed, even Lupin and Peter managed quiet snickers for the idiot.

The two would-be mothers watched him with something close to disdain for trying to make light of this, like they'd be slapping him all the way out of Hogwarts grounds if they could, but there was something in watching the Marauders now holding them back from retaliating. Frank felt it too in the way Black spoke, this wasn't really a joke to him as he played off, he'd do whatever he had to protect his godson again while keeping their focus on how to keep going rather than just dwelling on these awful moments.

Regulus recognized the same, but he wasn't so sure he could live with the outcome. He already feared going back to the world where his parents would hate him, what would happen if then the world just took his only family left away.

Harry was living through the same, as Dumbledore finally ran out of explanations for now and his thoughts returned to his lost godfather. He couldn't imagine how to get through it. So Regulus finally said the only thing he could think of to him. "I don't want you to die."

Sirius flashed him that smile he'd missed so much. "Lookie there, we can agree on two things."

#Harry Potter #fanfiction #reading the books #OotP #Marauders #HP #wolfstar #Jilly #James Potter #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #Peter Pettigrew #Regulus Black #Lily Evans #Frank Longbottom #Alice Smith

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gayestwinthesite · 4 years

Text

Black Sisters my Headcanon

Andromeda already had a really god friendship with Frank and Ted before she started hanging out with the maraunders.

Narcissa would spend some time with her house and especially the Malfoy boy but most part of her day has spended following and making sure that Bellatrix wouldn't spend all her time alone.

Bellatrix would be in the library 24/7 and only get out for classes and eat when she was already starving.

When Andromeda were in trouble becouse of the boys Bellatrix would threat the Slytherin perfect to get her out of it but do nothing for the others.

Narcissa would always get her way with anyone just for speaking with them, contrary to her sisters.

Once when Andy and Sirius get a detention Bellatrix, Frank, Ted, Marlene and the other maraunders tried to make them company by exploding things in the great hall.

Actually Bellatrix just get in the middle of it because Marlene called her a coward and then started a food fight.

Narcissa was there with Reg but them just tried to calm the fight down (they get a detention too).

Narcissa scaped it but everyone else was busy cleaning the classroom without magic for a week.

Bellatrix would feel awkward and out of place with the group and Andy would make jokes to distract her.

Marlene and Bellatrix had a similar humor and Lily and Remus would always shoo the youngest away when the jokes started.

Bellatrix was the first to know about Frank crush an Alice and Andy would fake outrage everytime they talked about it.

When Narcissa learned Occlumency she was the only student who could keep her mind from Bella.

Bellatrix first kiss was with Marlene in the dark lake.

It was an accident and after a 2 hour fight they sweared never talk about it.

Andromeda first kiss was with Ted and they keep secret from everyone.

Narcissa first kiss was with Lucius and it was awful for the 2 of them.

Bellatrix would blush and get angry with romantic talks.

Bellatrix was a special ability for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

It was the way she started knowing about Molly and Arthur.

Once they had have a few fire whiskeys and Andy assumed her relationship with Ted.

Bellatrix feel hurt and betrayed but Frank and Sirius get after her and made her laugh.

The same night Bellatrix and Andromeda cried until they feel asleep in the common room in each other's arms and Narcissa had to take care of 2 drunk elder sisters.

That night while drunk Bellatrix talked about her kiss with Marlene with Andy.

Andromeda would look with a smirk at Bellatrix each time she see Marlene and Bellatrix would kick her under the table or throw her mortal glares.

When Reg decided to study abroad Narcissa get in a bad mood for a week.

When her parents died Andromeda only attended to her mom's funeral.

Bellatrix choked in her drink when Sirius said that he was dating Remus.

Bellatrix and Andromeda would round the couple and glare at Sirius when he did something wrong, letting him nervous and doing worst.

Bellatrix best friend was Marlene and they would fake a relationship to get free things in the shops.

Lucius made the most beautiful proposal in the world to Narcissa and she lost all her pose instantly.

Bellatrix is Neville and Harry godmother and Sirius is the godfather.

The 2 of them fight for the best presents and the children love.

Alice and Lily would be mad with them and Frank and James would put wood in the fire.

When Nymphadora born Bellatrix was so nervous that had had a breakdown and Narcissa and Ted had to take care of her.

That day Bella had a blackout and just woke up 3 hours later.

Andromeda and Narcissa use that moment as blackmail till today.

Narcissa forbid her in her house the day Draco born and Andromeda spend the day with her tranquilizing her.

In the Christmas Marlene and Sirius would try to put the children in snow fights or quidditch matches and Bellatrix would pick them up from dangerous situations.

Bellatrix child presents are always the best

But if you are more than 17 she will give you a chocolate or something.

Bellatrix would sit individually with all of the children and listen to all their adventures of Hogwarts for a entire day.

She stoped doing that to the Wesley's after Molly discovered that Bella supported the twins pranks and even gave them money for it.

Andromeda was worried when Nymphadora decided that the quidditch team was a good idea so Andromeda always attended her games for fear, in the end she always was proud of the girl.

Lucius and Ted would take Draco and Dora to see Quidditch games and in those days the three sisters would take te day to gossip and relax.

The first day Bellatrix bought a good adult Christmas present was the book "magical creatures in the society" to her godson's best friend Hermione Granger.

Everyone was shoked that night

Andromeda and Bellatrix would make a interrogation in French with Fleur when she and Dora started dating.

And Narcissa and Ted would pacify her after.

Marlene married Dorcas and moved to France.

Bellatrix feeled bed for a couple of days but their friendship didn't change.

Bellatrix first choice always was the "child" table.

Narcissa always annoyed her until she picked a sit in the adults table.

Andromeda talked about Nymphadora joining the aurors for a week.

Narcissa would always pick wine

Andromeda didn't drink

And Bellatrix would always pick something strong but only drink one glass before change to something lighter.

When Regulus decided to join them they would always play games +18

In those days Narcissa always won, Andromeda would give up and Bellatrix lose or end up drunk.

Bellatrix hate heavy robes but love winters and heavy accessories.

Narcissa was always dressed to kill

Andromeda as a lot more casual

Bellatrix always let the doors open

And both her sisters hate it

Because of that one day Hermione walked on her while she was dressing in the bathroom during Christmas. Awkward moment.

Neville and Narcissa loved botanic.

Andromeda liked charms

And Bella loved Magical creatures cares.

Bellatrix pride was hurt when only Draco entered to Slytherin.

It was a lot of drama actually.

Bellatrix covered the DADA position during the half of the last year of her godsons.

During that time she would always enter the Griffindor common room just to see their reactions or scare some students.

She didn't have a good reputation as a professor.

Most part because she was always giving detentions and all of the students exaggerated their respective one.

Andromeda was the first adult to agreed with the SPEW program

Bellatrix was the one letting shampoo bottles in front of Snape quarters but he always suspected the students.

Narcissa didn't liked Draco friends back at school.

Bellatrix is biromantic demisexual but nobody off their friends believe it.

Narcissa is heterosexual

Andromeda don't really know.

Bellatrix used to sleep with a lot of Slytherin boys back at Hogwarts because she had a little bit of internalized homophobia.

She stopped and started accepting who she was after Sirius beat sense into her head during a fist fight.

Bellatrix never loved nobody and her sisters just fell in love once, for the men they married.

Hermione had bumped into Bellatrix naked more times than failed a class.

Narcissa was the first to see that Hermione and Bellatrix acted uncomfortable around each other.

The first time Bellatrix admitted be in love she throw up in Andromeda carpet

The first time Bellatrix felt shy was when she declared to Hermione her feelings.

Andromeda and Narcissa always stayed in her sister side

Draco and Ginny would smirk to Hermione when Bellatrix was in the same room the same way Andromeda did with Marlene in the past.

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