Tumgik
#all of my past romantic relationships started out as friendships too so i think it just kinda evolves from there for me
daemour · 18 days
Text
Tumblr media
Pairing: roommate! San x f! yn
Word Count: 10,664
Warnings: cursing, alcohol consumption, smut warnings under cut
Genre: Angst, fluff, smut, f2l au, college au, M for mature audiences
Summary: As the resident fuckboy San's best friend, you're legally obligated to be his hype man. It's only fitting as you're one of the few who can resist his boyish charms. But when he's set his sights on someone you cannot stand, perhaps you need to dig a bit deeper into your feelings after all.
Smut Warnings: masturbation (f), voyeurism, sexual fantasies, oral (f), missionary, protected sex, very slight breast play, overstimulation, cowgirl, some cumplay, dirty dirty talk, fingering, slight body worship ig?, praise, I literally have no idea I wrote it at a time when I should've been in bed so lmk if I missed anything
-
this is for the jackson wang party fic collab finished with @mingsolo (hella good) @flurrys-creativity (Pygalgia, Effervescent, and Abience) and @sanjoongie (trouble) <3 I still have one more to go but we'll ignore that LMAOOOOO I added too much plot :') flurry was a dear and helped me sort out my thoughts and I managed to write 8k of it in one day lol.
hope u all enjoy and sorry I'm a professional yapper there's no shutting me up
Tumblr media
“Going out again?” you ask your best friend and flatmate, San, as he walks past where you’re seated at the kitchen counter, suffering through your essays.
“Yep,” San answers easily, popping the ‘p’ and leaning over to take a peek at your laptop screen. “You misspelt ‘dextrorotatory’, you wrote it as ‘dexrotatory’.”
As your eyes find the typo, you groan and plant your head on the table. “I give up,” you declare dramatically, “I’ll drop out and become a taxi driver.”
San laughs. “First of all, you can’t drive that well. Second of all, you’d make more money as a stripper.” He dodges your smack with ease. “Third, you’re smart and you’ll ace these like always. You’re just a little mentally constipated. Why don’t you join me tonight?”
You think about it for a minute. While you probably do need a break from staring at your laptop, you know how wild the parties San goes to can get from personal experience. And you don’t think it’s a good idea when it's the end of your semester and the final year of your master's program. You just can’t afford to do that. “I’ll pass this time,” you sigh. “Maybe after exam season.”
San hums. “All right. Make sure to take a break, though,” he reminds you, dropping a quick kiss on the top of your head. “See you later.”
He soon disappears out of the door and you turn your focus away from your best friend to your homework. You feel bad for whoever his new conquest will be at the party.
In your opinion, it’s best to keep San at arm’s length when it comes to a romantic relationship. Not that you like him, but you also don’t want to be another notch on his bedpost, and you most certainly do not want to ruin your eight-year-long friendship. It’s not hard to see that San isn’t interested in a long relationship, not right now at least.
You honestly find it amusing that so many girls and guys still throw themselves at him and then get upset when he doesn’t give them a second glance after the initial night. His reputation precedes him, especially in your small town, and yet there will always be a line out the door for him. You don’t even know how he knows so many people.
With a sigh, you clear out your thoughts and refocus on your organic chemistry work. You’re lucky your job offered to pay for your master's classes, but the workload is killing you inside. You’re incredibly happy you’re almost done, and with newfound motivation, you hunker down and start writing out your notes again.
It’s almost two in the morning when you finally yawn and start putting your books away, and it’s almost three when you hear the front door open and the sound of San stumbling into the shoe rack as he always does. “You’re home already, Sanah?”
“YN!” San stumbles his way into the bathroom where you’re combing your hair, wrapping his arms around you and tucking his flushed face into your neck. “You’re still up?”
You laugh, tapping him on the head with your brush. “Yes, but I’m about to go to bed. And you should too, you know.”
San groans, his hold on your waist tightening and his words slurring together. “I don’t wanna,” he whines, “the bed's too cold.”
You sigh fondly. This happens almost every time he drinks, and usually, that’s why he doesn’t drink too much when he’s by himself. He gets too cuddly with people and you’re usually the one to keep him from bedding everyone he sees.  You suppose he somehow didn’t end up with anyone in bed and he’s disappointed now. “Do you think you’ll ever ask to sleep with me nicely, or will you just settle for wrestle-cuddling me into my own bed?” you ask, rolling your eyes as San does not answer, just pulling you towards your room. “There’s my answer.”
You’re too used to his drunk antics and just let him move you around. It’s comforting in a way, that he’s comfortable enough around you to do this with you, and it makes your heart warm whenever he throws his arm around you and presses his face in your neck.
You’d never admit it, but it’s nights like this when you sleep the best. With his warm breath tickling your neck, you let your body relax and your eyes flutter shut.
-
“God, I’ve got a raging headache,” San groans when he sees you enter the kitchen with a mess of bed hair. “I went so crazy with the soju last night, I think I’m going to die.”
You laugh, reaching for the pot to make some oatmeal for him. “Don’t be so dramatic. Why did you even drink so much anyway? No bitches?”
San snorts but immediately whines from the sharp pain that probably shot through his skull. “You’re so mean to me! No, I got no bitches, but that was from my own choice anyway. I don’t want to fuck around anymore.”
Both your eyebrows raise into your hairline. “No? What changed things, hm? Finally decided your one true love is Byeol?” As if on cue, your shared cat meows and curls around your ankles, and you bend down to scratch behind her ears.
“Never had to decide that, we all know she’s the real number one in my life. No, I think I’m interested in someone.” You stop your petting of Byeol, who meows in protest and runs off to pout somewhere. “Come on, don’t act like you just saw a ghost.”
“Who?” is the only question that comes out of your mouth. Of course, San has had a crush before, but he’s never stopped screwing around unless he was actively dating that person. He’s a fuckboy, but he’s not a piece of shit at least. This is new.
“Lee Yeseul. I met her yesterday at the party, and she’s so sweet. She was so out of place at the party, and not in a mean way. She just…has such an aura around her.” San’s voice is soft even just talking about her and you get the feeling he’s being serious. “We’re meeting up for coffee today.”
“That’s…amazing, Sanah. I really hope it goes well for you,” you smile at him, pushing a bowl of oatmeal over to him. “Don’t forget to let me make a speech at your wedding.”
San chuckles, rolling his eyes at your jokes. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t you have study group today? Go there and stop bothering me.”
You ruffle his messy hair before planting a kiss on it and pinching his cheek. He blindly reaches around to smack at you but you dodge him easily, laughing as you head out to grab your keys. “See you later, Sanah. Have a good da-ate.”
San grumbles at you but ultimately returns to his food. You think you can hear him muttering about you being a pain in the ass and you smile to yourself. You don’t have the heart to tell him you know Lee Yeseul…and she’s a major bitch. You sincerely hope she’s sweet to San at least—he deserves the best. But you find her absolutely draining, especially with how often she talks about herself and doesn’t pay attention to anyone else ever. If she cries in your class one more time you think you might smack her yourself.
You still remember the time you had gotten a call that your grandfather had died, and after overhearing your conversation, instead of comforting you, she started talking about how “so many of my family members died in the past ten years.” Sure, maybe she was trying, but you’ve known about her antics enough that it was clear she just wanted to make it about her.
But if San likes her, who are you to interfere? He has a pretty good eye for who has a good personality so maybe Yeseul has changed. You’re not one to stop him. Not that you ever could. When he first started going out to party, you would tag along to make sure he wouldn’t make any bad decisions, but your efforts seldom paid off. You’re pretty sure he must be blessed since he somehow hadn’t pissed off anyone majorly enough to have them call a hit on him.
Shaking your head, you rid yourself of these thoughts and go to the library. There’s no use dwelling on it, the more you think about it, the worse your feeling about his crush on Yeseul gets. He’s a grown man, he doesn’t need you to parent him.
“Woah, who pissed in your cereal?” You should’ve known you wouldn’t be able to hide your bad mood from your study buddy, Hongjoong. Although you only see him for studying, you’re confident enough to call him your closest friend other than San. “Are you okay?”
You sigh, dropping your books on the table. It earns you a harsh ‘shh’ from the librarian which you apologise half-heartedly for. “Do you remember Yeseul? Lee Yeseul?”
Hongjoong’s brows raise high into his hairline. “The professional bitcher? What did she do now?”
“San’s into her, and with her personality, she’s probably loving the attention from the professional heartbreaker.” You groan, glaring at the cover of your organic chemistry textbook. “It’s none of my business if he cares for her, but damn, I wish he could’ve picked anyone else.”
Hongjoong hums, leaning forward and poking at the top of your head. “Look, you’ve been his friend for years. I think you have a bit more of a reason to poke your nose into his business than most. Give it a few weeks, and if it truly bothers you, then you can bring it up to San.”
You sigh. “Maybe.” You say nothing else on the topic and Hongjoong knows not to broach it anymore. Sometimes you wish he wasn’t so smart.
-
“YN, I didn’t know you knew Yeseul!” is the first thing San says to you one week after he returns from one of his many dates with her. “When I mentioned you being my roommate she told me you were in the same class as her.”
You wince to yourself as you take a long swig of your coffee. “Mmh, I didn’t think it was that relevant,” you say. You can practically hear Hongjoong rolling his eyes at your excuse. You know you should tell him your qualms about Yeseul, especially since the gross feeling in your gut has only gotten stronger. But you’re not sure you want to tread those waters. San’s sweet, but he’s loyal to a fault and probably wouldn’t like you talking badly about Yeseul.
San narrows his eyes, clearly suspicious but not willing to pry. “Well, maybe if we ever find you a date, we can go on a double date.” He moves on pretty quickly, though, walking over to lean over your shoulder and look at your laptop. “Still going on that paper?”
You hum, cracking your knuckles. “Yeah, it’s due tomorrow so I need to pump it out today and then get Hongjoong to look it over.” You lean back, letting your head rest on San’s torso as you yawn. “I can’t wait for this to be over so that I can graduate already.”
San laughs, leaning down to rest his chin on your head. “You’re smart. You can do this. And when you’re done, I’ll take you to a party and we can celebrate.”
You groan, shifting forward and putting your hands back on the keyboard. “Well, in that case, I should get back to writing this.” As you start typing again, you hear the buzzer ring and the warmth of San’s body leaves you as he goes to check who it is.
“Oh, hey, Yeseul! Come on up!” Your eyebrows raise into your hairline and your head snaps up. Why would Yeseul go to all this trouble of coming here? Didn’t they just see each other?
You close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths before facing the dragon herself. You can hear the tell-tale sound of her voice pitched up to sound more sweet, although it’s grown to be grating on your ears. “Hi, Sannie,” she purrs and you have to refrain from retching. “I was on my way home but I realised it went right by your apartment so I figured I could come say hi. It doesn’t look like you’re too busy, right?”
“No, not at all,” San replies, and you hate how sweetly he talks to her. “YN is in too, she’s writing her final paper. Wanna say hi? She could probably use the distraction.”
No, I don’t need the distraction, is what you want to scream out, but your mother did not raise you like that although you wish she did. Instead, you just smile politely at the girl entering your kitchen. “Hello, Yeseul. Good to see you again.”
“Hey, YNie!” Her cheery nickname for you has your eye twitching. “How’s the paper going? I finished mine a few weeks ago so I’m home free. Just need to submit it.”
“That’s great, Yeseul,” you say, tone slightly more monotonous than you wanted it to be and San shoots you a look. “Hopefully you get a good grade on it.”
“Hey, would you want to join us for dinner?” San cuts in and you can already feel a headache starting to pulse behind your eyes. “I was going to order pizza since it’s my turn today and I’m not nearly as good of a cook as YN.”
“Oh, that would be lovely! I don’t mind whatever toppings,” Yeseul claps happily. The urge to punch her in the face increases bit by bit for you. San nods happily, stepping out into the living room to place the call. After a moment, Yeseul turns to you with puppy eyes and you brace yourself for whatever she has up her sleeve. “Could I trouble you for a glass of water, YNie?”
You try your best to keep your composure as you get up to fetch her a glass of water. She takes it without even a thank you and you decide you’d much rather die than deal with her any longer so you close your laptop with a sigh. “I’m actually meeting with a friend for dinner, but you definitely should stay and have fun,” you say, smiling as plausibly as you can. You do not have dinner plans but you’re sure you can figure it out.
When you go into your room, you’re drawing blanks. You’re still going out, but you’ll probably just end up calling a friend to complain. As you leave the room and grab your keys, San meets eyes with you and frowns. “Where are you going?”
“Ah, I promised to have dinner with a friend so I’m heading out. Enjoy your time with Yeseul, though.”
The furrow between San’s brows deepens. “But I already ordered the pizza.”
You laugh, shaking your head. “I can bring the leftovers tomorrow for lunch. Sorry, I just forgot to tell you, but I really have to go now. Bye!” Before he can say goodbye as well, you slip out the door. The suffocating feeling that is encompassing you lifts and you sigh in relief, but then you somehow feel worse at the idea of San and Yeseul having fun and giggling and cuddling.
You shake your head again, trying to clear your muddled thoughts before setting down to go find your dinner. Fast food was the easiest option, and you figured you could at least sit in your car and wallow in self-pity.
-
After you receive your order you park and pull out your phone, scrolling through your contacts. You don’t want to call your family because as much as you love them, they can be a bit over-protective and probably will offer to help you find a different apartment and that would be a bit dramatic. In the end, Hongjoong is probably the next best option.
He doesn't pick up immediately, and you’re just about to hang up when the phone crackles and Hongjoong’s voice comes through. “Why are you calling me?”
You can’t help but bark out a laugh at his disgruntled tone. “Hongjoong, it’s a perfectly reasonable hour to call, don’t blame me for your shit sleeping schedule. Are you actually free though?”
Hongjoong sighs and if you focus you can hear the sound of him rolling over in bed. “What’s up?”
“It’s about Yeseul again. She came around today, and it was just…so suffocating. Like, why did San have to pick her? There’s so many girls, and out of them all he picks her? The most bitchy one I know?”
Hongjoong hums. “Why does it annoy you so much?”
You groan, leaning your head back and taking a long sip of your drink. “She’s self-centred, bitchy, and she’s just so fake. I don’t think this relationship will end well, Joong. Clearly he’s just blinded and she’s so manipulative.”
“But why are you so bothered by this specifically? I mean, sure we’ve had bad interactions with Yeseul, but you’re pretty nonchalant about the shit San gets up to and you like to let him deal with the consequences himself.”
You frown glaring at the phone although you know he can’t see it and you pop a fry into your mouth. “I don’t know. It just feels different. I feel like I should interfere this time. I mean, he’s a lot more serious this go around.”
Hongjoong hums, rolling once again as he yawns. “YN, be totally honest with me. This is a shot in the dark, but I think this is pretty important.” You hold your breath in anticipation. “Do you like San?”
“Oh sure, he’s a good friend–”
“You and I both know that’s not what I meant.” You bite your lip, stiffening in your chair. “YN, you need to be honest with yourself. The way you talk about San, you interact with him, it’s not how just roommates, just friends interact. You kiss each other's heads, YN. And it can be platonic, but I’ve rarely seen San do that to his female friends, and I’ve never seen you do that, period. You don’t even kiss me.” His voice turns teasing on the last bit but you’re too shocked to register.
Do you like San? You love him like a friend, of course. But when you think about him being with anyone else, even if it wasn’t Yeseul, something in you aches. When you think about San’s smile being directed to anyone else, you can feel a burning in your gut. The answer is clear, whether you like it or not.
“I…yes. I do.” The confession comes out quietly. “But I don’t want to do anything about it. Like you said, it’s up to San whether he likes Yeseul enough. I can’t interfere.”
You can practically hear the look Hongjoong would be levelling at you. “Why not?”
You shrug. “When San likes someone, nothing can stop him from liking someone unless he wants to. I’ll just let it run its course and hopefully my own feelings will vanish in the process.”
“That doesn’t sound very healthy, YN.”
You let out a despondent laugh. “Sure, probably not. But who knows? Maybe I can find someone else in the process.” You let out a sigh before glancing at your now-cold sandwich. “I gotta head out, but thanks for talking, Joong. I’ll see you in class.”
Hongjoong can barely say goodbye before you hang up the phone and lean back. This is going to be difficult. The more you see Yeseul, the more you know you’ll accidentally slip up and something will tip her and San off. Your headache is pulsing behind your eyes and you take a small bite of your sandwich, your appetite diminishing. You miss being a child and your biggest worry is that San sneezed on your lollipop.
With another groan, you wrap up the sandwich and just go for a late-night drive instead to clear your head. It’s something that has never failed to calm you down and keep your mind level. San always berates you for driving alone at night, but you’d like to say you’re pretty safe. Plus, even he has agreed that it’s pretty calming when—you frown, forcing thoughts of San to leave your brain.
You don’t really know how long you’ve been out, but it’s surely long enough that Yeseul has left. As you carefully open the door, there’s a long silence, and you sigh, happy you made it home free. But as you’re about to call out for San, you hear a high-pitched moan come from his bedroom. And it certainly is not San.
You almost turn tail and head right back out of the apartment when you hear San’s reverberating moans fill the house. Against your better judgment, you take off your shoes and step closer towards his bedroom. His bedroom door is cracked open and curse him for putting his mirror right in view where you can see him leaning back on his bed, his lower half hidden off the edge of it and you can only see Yeseul’s knees.
And in your head, you know it’s wrong. But your heart is beating out of your chest and you can feel heat building in your core. And, well, you’ve always worn your heart on your sleeve. You keep yourself pressed against the wall, staring at the way the muscles in San’s neck strain and the way he moans with every snap of his hips. You’re sure your panties are soaked through by now, and your teeth sink into your lower lip to keep yourself quiet. The taste of copper enters your mouth but you couldn’t care less.
It’s only when San sits up, probably to fuck into Yeseul better and he disappears from the mirror that you rip yourself away and escape into your own room. Not another thought enters your brain as you strip your leggings and underwear off, flopping on your bed and closing your eyes as you let your hand trail down to press against your slick pussy. It doesn’t take long for you to sink your fingers into your sopping cunt, turning your head to bury your face into your pillow.
The guilt in the back of your mind is quickly sent away as you imagine San’s hands fucking you instead. He’s always had well-worn hands, and your brain fogs up as you imagine him leaning forward to mouth at your neck as he fucks you.
Your brain flips back and forth between the idea of him eating you out so well and fucking so many loads into you with his thick cock that your stomach swells and you whimper into your pillow as your core tightens and you come onto your fingers. You feel tears prick your eyes as you get up to wipe your hands of the cream coating your fingers and toss the tissue in the trash. You’re not sure how you’ll be able to face San or Yeseul again after that.
You can feel the shame burning inside of you and you close your eyes and cry yourself to sleep silently.
-
Waking up is disorienting, your eyes red-rimmed and your bottom lip raw and blood dried on it. You feel like death and you’re pretty sure you can’t attend class like this. You lean over and grab your phone, yawning as you send your professor a text with a weak excuse. You don’t really care how plausible it is, Professor Jeong usually is quite understanding so you don’t worry about that for too long. San had texted you an hour ago, asking if you had come home, and you choose not to answer it.
You can hear mumbling in the other room, probably Yeseul and San sharing goodbyes, when you hear the door shut behind her. Unlike you, she’s probably happy to go to class and tell all her friends about her night with the campus fuckboy.
It takes another thirty minutes for you to finally roll out of bed and put some lotion on your face, hoping for the traces of the questionable night you had to erase from your face. Once you’re satisfied with your appearance, you venture out into your living room where San is standing by the door. “When did you get back?” he asks without even turning around. “I texted you like, an hour ago.”
You shrug, avoiding his eyes as you move into the kitchen to find breakfast. “I only just woke up, San.”
Your roommate gives a short huff, following close behind you. “Don’t you have class? Yeseul just left so you could walk with her.”
You try not to roll your eyes at the idea of that. “I’m not feeling well so I don’t think I’ll go.” “You’re not feeling well?” San’s voice deepens in concern and as you grab a yoghurt, he places his hand atop your forehead. “You are feeling pretty warm.”
At his touch, too many memories of last night flood through your brain and you shake away his hand. “Yeah. I’ll just go lie down for a little. Have a good day.”
Before he can say anything else, or realise your suspicious behaviour, you dodge past him and head off back into your room to hide. “I left your pizza in the fridge,” he calls after you and you just grunt in thanks before barricading yourself in your room.
You lean against the door for a minute before you realise you didn’t even grab a spoon. Unwilling to go back out there, you’ve resigned yourself to licking it out of the container like a cat when you hear a gentle knock at the door.
“I got you a spoon,” San’s unsure voice filters through the wooden door, and you squeeze your eyes shut.
“Thanks, San,” you murmur, turning to open the door a crack and take the proffered utensil. “Sorry for being short with you.”
His lips quirk into a half-smile, a silent acceptance of your apology. “I get it. Just get some rest, YN.”
You close the door again, this time a warm heart in your chest mixing with the guilt you still feel in your gut. You’re not sure how on earth you’re going to get over your feelings for San.
-
Avoiding San goes well for the most part. You are in your finals week anyway, and you’re spending most of your time at the library or in class. Your college’s library stays open for 24 hours during the last week of school anyways so some nights you’ve just been staying there until morning. Hongjoong disapproves heavily but doesn’t say much about it and you appreciate his support either way.
Avoiding Yeseul proves much harder. She seems to always find her way to wherever you happen to be, interrupting you and Hongjoong’s study sessions with a perfect smile and narrowed eyes. You don’t know what she wants from you, and you aren’t pleased with her presence.
But one evening, you’re about to leave the library to have some dinner when she corners you. “YN, let’s talk,” she says in that sickeningly saccharine voice of hers, looping her arm into yours and pulling you down the street. “I have some things to ask you.”
Unwilling, you try to tug your arm out of her grasp, but the girl is stronger than you expected. She pulls you all the way to her dorm on campus, sitting you down on her leather couch. “What is your relationship with Choi San?”
Her question comes so suddenly you need a minute to register. To her credit, Yeseul waits patiently for you to gather your thoughts. “He’s my friend and roommate?” you say as truthfully as you can muster, although you know it’s an absolute lie, and judging from her expression, Yeseul doesn’t believe you either.
“Don’t take me as a fool, YN. The way he talks about you is undeniable.”
“That seems like something you should be talking to him about,” you say, attempting to get up from the couch but Yeseul just pushes you back down.
“I’ve tried. He just tells me there’s nothing to worry about and I don’t believe that,” Yeseul grits through her teeth.
And you have to give it to her. She did try to come to San about her worries. But the way she refuses to trust him grates on your nerves. He stopped his fuckboy activities to be with her, and yet she’s worried about you, one of the few girls who isn’t all over him at any moment. You arch a brow. “Do you not trust him?”
Yseul scoffs. “Of course not. He’s a fuckboy. But I like the status I get with him. I just don’t want to end up embarrassed.”
Well, that will be inevitable, you can’t help but think to yourself. No matter how much your relationship with San is strained, you’re not about to let Yeseul talk shit about him like he isn’t genuinely trying for her.
“That’s where you come into play,” Yeseul’s smirk turns sharp. “I’m going to call San. Ask him to choose between us. If he chooses you, then I want you to stay far, far away from him.”
You shrug. No matter the outcome, it’s not like you’re not already keeping your distance from San. In the end, you’ll just tell him to break up with her and let him deal with the chaos himself. “Go ahead,” bitch.
San picks up on the first ring. “Yeseul?” He’s cheery and your heart aches at the thought of Yeseul breaking his so easily. “What’s the occasion?”
“Hey, babe, I just have a quick question, and I need you to answer truthfully for me, okay?” At his pause, she takes that as a go-ahead. “Who would you pick? Me or YN.”
There’s a long silence on the phone. “Yeseul, we need to break up.”
Only one thing unites you and Yeseul in this moment, and it’s your shared confusion for San’s reaction. “What do you mean?” her voice turns panicked. “Isn’t that a little far?”
“You’ve been stuck on this, and I don’t know how much I have to reassure you, Yeseul. I haven’t even seen YN for the past two weeks. And she’s my closest friend. I’m not dropping her for a two-week relationship. I hope you have a good time, Yeseul.”
Before you can react at all, Yeseul screeches and points an accusing finger at you. “This is all your fault, YN!”
Your jaw drops at her absolute audacity. “My fault? What are you on? I was just trying to live peacefully when you dragged me into this plot ignoring my advice. I told you to talk to him, to just fucking trust him. God, you’re an idiot. And I’m going home.”
Without another word, you leave, still fuming over that interaction. Couldn’t she just have made the call without you? You’re happy you don’t have to do all the convincing for San to leave her, but that just complicates things for you. Would he really so easily drop Yeseul just for you? From what you’ve heard, he was practically head over heels for her.
With another sigh, you head back to the library. You need to finish that exam.
-
“Pens down, and turn in your exams,” you hear the professor call, and you don’t think you’ve ever gotten up so fast. You’re so, so fucking happy that you’ve finished your last year and now you’re free.
As soon as your professor accepts your paper you race out of the lecture hall, only stopped by the cafeteria when you hear someone call your name. Lee Juyeon, someone you’ve started growing closer to, waves you down. “Hey, YN, congrats on finishing!” he smiles at you and you can’t help but smile back, the giddiness contagious.
“Thanks! You too,” you say, pulling him into a hug. “It’s so nice to be done.” Practically nothing could dampen your mood, especially seeing Juyeon. He’s sweet, and you have an inkling he likes you. And you’re not opposed to it.
“It really is,” Juyeon agreed cheerfully. “Look, I have to go celebrate with my family, I just wanted to say hi. But hey…there’s this end of the year party on Saturday, and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me.”
And your suspicions were right. You think about it for a moment. You’re not the biggest party person, anyone knows that, but Juyeon is sweet and just what you need, so you accept eagerly. It doesn’t take long for the two of you to exchange numbers and for him to promise to send you more details before he runs off. And through your excitement, you know you still have to go meet with San who’s probably waiting for you just outside. He wanted to see you as soon as you finish your exams, and you didn’t have the heart to decline.
“Congratulations on finishing your last exam, YN!” San cheers as soon as you exit the college building. “I’m so proud of you!”
You’re too tired to complain when San sweeps you up into a hug, just letting yourself relax in his firm arms. After all this work, you think you’ll let yourself indulge in his affection. “Thanks, Sanah. I appreciate it.” You let your chin rest on his broad shoulder, closing your eyes and letting the exhaustion take over you. “Can I go to bed now?”
You hear him chuckle, the vibrations from his chest comforting you. “Yeah, yeah. We can celebrate later. Come on.”
He tugs you all the way to your apartment, dropping you on the couch and quickly curling right up next to you. You can’t bring yourself to care. “I’m proud of you,” he repeats into your hair as he tucks your head into his neck. Your eyes flutter shut.
When you reopen them, it’s bordering on evening. San is no longer wrapped around you, and you can hear him moving about in the kitchen. “San,” you call out, voice raspy from having just woken up. “What are you doing?”
“Ah, I’m making dinner,” he responds, his voice too warm for your liking, your heart beating just a little faster. “Come and eat.”
With a bit of difficulty, you rise from the couch and move to the kitchen, taking a seat at the counter. “Japchae? When did you learn how to cook this?”
San chuckles. “Wooyoung taught me the other day because he was bored. I figured it’d be a nice surprise for you after all your hard work.”
Your lips twitch, unsure if you should smile or pout. “That’s sweet. Thank you again, San.”
As you start eating the noodles (there’s a little too much sesame but you don’t have the heart to tell San that), San clears his throat. “So…I promised to take you to a party.”
You vaguely remember this conversation. “Ah, yeah. What did you have in mind?”
“There’s this end of the year party, it’s supposed to be the biggest one, hosted by Jackson Wang.”
“Ah–” you shake your head, eyes apologetic. “I promised someone else I’d go with them. I didn’t know that was the party you wanted to take me to. Maybe we can do something else on a different day?”
San’s lips turn downward the slightest bit. “That’s okay. There are other parties. Who invited you, by the way?” His tone is casual, and yet you still feel like you’re walking into the lion’s den.
“Ah, Lee Juyeon from college. I think he’s in Hongjoong’s philosophy department, but he’s a year behind. He’s cute so I figured I’d give it a try.”
“It’s a date?” Your brows furrow at the heaviness in San’s voice but you pay it no mind and nod. “I see. Well, have fun.”
The rest of the dinner is filled with silence, San picking at his food and you in no mood to try and dissect his mood. He takes your empty bowl and starts doing the dishes, and you mumble out a thank you before running back to your room. He’s clearly not willing to talk more and it’s best to give him space.
As you lay in bed, you can’t help but worry about what is so grating on his mind after you mentioned your date. You can’t think of anything that would cause him to be angry—as far as you’re aware he has no grudges against Lee Juyeon, much less met him. Shaking your head, you try and fall asleep. It’s best not to dwell on it, you can just ask him tomorrow.
-
It’s Saturday, and you’re in a foul mood. San hasn’t spoken to you in the four days leading up to the party, avoiding you like there’s no tomorrow. The only saving grace comes in the form of Juyeon’s excited texts, telling you all about his outfit for the party, and you respond with matching enthusiasm. When you meet with Juyeon in front of the large house where the party is held, the thought of San isn’t even on your mind. Instead, you just take Juyeon’s offered hand and follow him into the party.
You weave through the bodies, reaching the counter where shots are being passed around. “Want vodka or tequila?” Juyeon asks, his voice pitching higher to be heard over the bass. Without answering him, you just reach for the bottle of tequila, pouring the two of you shots. “Good choice,” Juyeon laughs, throwing his head back as he downs the alcohol, you following suit shortly.
“You know, I never pegged you for a college party fan,” you lean in, laughing. “Maybe I should hang out with you more.”
Juyeon chuckles, wrapping an arm around your waist. “Maybe you should. I know great party-throwers. Although I’ve heard you’ve been to your fair share, what being San’s friend and all.”
You shake your head, a smile on your face. “Maybe at first, but you know, organic chemistry isn’t an easy major to balance with a party life.”
Juyeon laughs loudly, bumping you with his hip. “I understand the pain. Philosophy falls into that category of majors too. Another shot?”
You take the second shot happily, letting the alcohol burn through your veins as you stumble alongside Juyeon’s wandering through the crowd. Whatever you’re doing is a blur, all you can focus on is Juyeon’s smile and his warm hand holding yours.
It feels like barely a moment has passed when Juyeon pulls you into a nearly empty room of couches, only a few other couples lingering in the corners. “I hope you’ve been enjoying yourself,” Juyeon starts, his eyes sparkling as he takes in your appearance. “It’s been fun hanging out.”
“I did too,” you agree with a small smile, looking up at him through your lashes.
He leans in, and you lean in, and your lips brush. It’s a sweet kiss, one that you lean into as Juyeon wraps his arms around your waist. It’s warm and you smile into it. And then a familiar face pops into your head. You wonder to yourself how San would kiss you, if he would do it as sweetly as Juyeon or if he would devour your lips like it was his last meal.
When Juyeon pulls away for air, you feel guilt burning in your stomach again. Why would you think of other men when Juyeon’s right here in front of you? As Juyeon leans in to kiss you again, you almost move back before a hand grips your shoulder and pulls you into a broad chest.
“Hey, man, I’m going to have to talk to YN if you don’t mind.” You’d recognise your best friend’s voice anywhere, and it only serves to fill you with annoyance. Sure, you weren’t as into Juyeon’s kisses as you expected, but it doesn’t mean you’re thrilled to be interrupted by the man who’s been ignoring you.
Juyeon takes one look at San, and something changes in his eyes. A mix of reluctance and acceptance, and with a short nod and smile towards you, he slips away from you. You turn to San, frowning at the sharpness in his narrowed eyes, not one you’re used to seeing or enjoy seeing. “Why would you kiss him?” he spits, and your annoyance grows with confusion being added to the mix.
“What do you mean, ‘why kiss him’? I told you, San, I was on a date. Why the fuck did you interrupt us?”
“I like you.” Those three words would be a dream for you to hear from his mouth…if you weren’t so pissed.
“No, fuck that. I do not need to hear that from you right now. Not when I was enjoying my night with Juyeon. What was confessing supposed to do for you, San? It’s too late now. I wanted to enjoy this party, and now I have to go apologise to Juyeon for you.” San opens his mouth to speak, but you shake your head, pushing him away from you.
You leave San standing by himself as you search for Juyeon, your mood immediately souring. Why would he fucking do this to you? You can feel tears burning your eyelids and you abandon your search for Juyeon, searching instead for some liquor to take away your embarrassment.
As you pour yourself another shot of tequila, you notice a familiar face, Hongjoong talking to a girl you recognise as someone he hangs out with sometimes. They look like they’re getting it on and you feel a little bad, but you need his advice. “Hey, Kim Hongjoong!” you call out to him, waving him over. Hongjoong’s eyes brighten and he makes his way over, leaving the girl staring after him longingly, but her attention is soon taken away by two other guys. You recognise one of them from the cafeteria but you don’t remember his name.
“Hey, YN, what’s up? I didn’t expect to see you here, did San take you?” Your face falls and Hongjoong realises he stepped into dangerous territory. “Okay, what happened?”
-
“I can’t believe San is mad at me for kissing someone at the party,” you groan after explaining to Hongjoong the events leading up to now. “Sure, maybe it wasn’t the best move on my part but he’s had like, twenty million one-night stands, and yet I can’t kiss someone else? He hasn’t even talked to me after I mentioned going on a date. And yet he looked positively murderous after he saw me kissing that other guy.”
Hongjoong tilts his head, confused. “Isn’t that what you wanted, though? You like him.”
“I did! I do! But I’m so sick of waiting around for him, and I could’ve had a chance at liking someone else. He’s all over the place, and I don’t know if that’s what I want in a man.” You’re lying to both Hongjoong and yourself, and Hongjoong knows it, raising an eyebrow.
“Honestly, YN, it just sounds like you need to talk to him.” Hongjoong crosses his arms, tapping his foot and eager to back to the girl was with, but also not wanting to ditch you in your time of need. You feel a little bad for pulling him away, but your mind is swirling with so many thoughts, you don’t know if you can sort them out by yourself and drinking to erase those thoughts is not something you like to do. You’re not San.
And speak of the devil, you smell his familiar cologne before his hand lands on your shoulder and pulls you into his chest. You whirl around out of his grip and glare at him. “Get off me,” you snap. “I’m in the middle of a conversation right now, Choi San.”
With one glance at Hongjoong, he raises his hands and winks at you. “Have that talk, YN. It’ll do you more good than harm.”
Oh, you’re going to kill that traitor after the party. You turn your attention back to San, your mouth twisted into a frown. “You make this quick or else.”
San has the decency to look a little ashamed as his eyes shake. “Can we talk on the patio? It’s too loud in here.”
With a dramatic sigh, you grab his wrist and pull him through the crowd to the back door, practically slamming it behind you. You can see the eyes of people interested in the drama through the windows but you pay it no mind. “Speak. You get five minutes before I go back in and you don’t talk to me again for the rest of the night.”
San’s face falls and his lips pull into a pout. But no matter how subconsciously adorable he is, you refuse to fall for his charms this time. The heat of anger is still curling in your gut when you think about the argument from earlier. “YN, come on, I had a good reason.”
You shake your head, ignoring the strands of hair that fall into your eyes. “No, San. Confessing to me is not a good reason to fuck up my night. You didn’t even apologise. You’ve been ignoring me for days after I mentioned my date, and the moment I kiss Juyeon you get all angry and jealous? Be for real.” You pause for breath, glaring daggers into his eyes. “You are not owed my time, especially after that shit you pulled. Yeseul’s jealousy is why you broke up with her, so why are you like this to me?”
San’s gaze intensifies and you can see him actively trying to reign in his temper. Although he does his best to remain calm, if tempers are rising, he can be intense. “YN, what was I supposed to do? Watch you go out with him? Watch you slip from my fingers just like that?”
“Yes!” you all but scream at him. “If I could sit by and let Yeseul take each little bit of your heart, you could’ve done the same! I was going to be happy, San! I wouldn’t have to sit behind and watch you from the sidelines with my heart slowly cracking. But I don’t get that same courtesy.”
You step forward, poking his chest with a finger as you let loose your storm of thoughts. In your anger, you don’t even notice San’s arm moving until it wraps around your waist and pulls you into him. The action shocks you enough that you stop mid-sentence, your finger still pressing into San’s flesh. “You love me?” San leans in, his nose brushing against yours.
You can feel heat flare up in your face as you stare wide-eyed at him. It takes you a moment to register your compromising position and you stumble back, pushing at his chest. “Don’t do that,” you hiss, turning your eyes away. “I don’t like you, San. Not anymore.”
“You’re lying.” San’s voice is firm. “Look at me in the eyes and tell me you don’t like me anymore.”
You don’t know where you got it from. You’ve never been good at lying, not to San. Maybe it was the alcohol burning through your system, mixing with the shame and anger you feel. But this time, you stare him directly in the eye and say the four words that might’ve been the biggest lie in your life. “I don’t like you.” San’s brows furrow and he shakes his head.
“No–”
“Yes, San. You cannot just waltz around and expect me to keep the patience I had for you. I’m sick of being pulled around like a puppet. Maybe at first you didn’t know. But refusing to give me space when I asked for it?” You shake your head, glancing back at the party. “I’m going back in. We can talk about the apartment lease later.”
Without glancing back, you re-enter the house. And maybe it hurts a little that he doesn’t go after you, but at this point, you’re too numb and all you want to do is go home and cry. But home is not an option, not when it would probably be the first place he would look for you. Fighting back the tears threatening to fall from your eyes, you slide into your car, staring blankly at the wheel for a long moment until you feel composed and sober enough to drive.
And drive you certainly do. You’re not quite sure where you’re going, and you’re plenty aware that this is a bad idea, but you just let yourself go around and calm yourself down first. The crisp breeze paired with the warm spring air does wonders to clear your head and paired with the late times, there are not too many cars out. It’s peaceful.
You’re not too sure how long you were out, but it’s long enough for the blurry memory of the argument to clear and you groan, pulling over to park by the side of the road and let your head hit the steering wheel. You went too far. San had always been the more emotional of you two, always wearing his heart on his sleeve. He must’ve had a hard time with Yeseul, and although it doesn’t excuse him, you never gave him a chance to properly apologise.
With a sigh, you check your phone to see five missed calls and twenty texts from San asking where you are. He somehow even got your neighbours (a sweet couple in their twenties who babysit Byeol sometimes) to ask you if you’re okay. As your finger hovers over the call button, debating whether to call him back, bright headlights shine behind your car and you stiffen. Your hand hovers over the pepper spray you keep in the dash as you press the call button in a panic. No matter what the disagreement was about, you know San would still come to your aid if you needed it.
“YN, open the door. I’ve been worried sick!” San’s voice crackles through the receiver and you spin around in your seat, squinting at the figure standing behind your car and your shoulders sag in relief.
“God, San, you scared the shit out of me!” you scold, leaning over to unlock the passenger seat and push the door open while hanging up the call. “Get in here.”
A haggard-looking San slides in, his eyes red-rimmed and mouth pressed into a thin line. The car that drove him turns and you look back in confusion before San starts explaining. “I wanted to give you space so I stayed at the party,” he starts explaining after a moment. “But I got worried and went to the apartment to find you. But you weren’t there, and I asked all your friends. I’m lucky you left your location on, and my friend gave me a ride.”
You wince. You forgot about turning off your location, although you’re glad you didn’t as it would’ve been more dangerous otherwise. “I’m sorry,” you mumble, turning your eyes to look out the windshield. “I just needed to clear my head so I went for a drive.”
There’s a long period of suffocating silence between the two of you when San finally speaks, his voice quiet. “I’m sorry,” he starts and your head snaps towards him, eyes wide. Of all the things you expected to fall from his lips, an apology is not one of those things. Not tonight, at least. “I was too pushy. I shouldn’t have ignored you, or interrupted your time with Juyeon. I should’ve talked to you like an adult.”
You laugh, resting your head on the steering wheel. “What an astute observation, San. However did you come to that conclusion?” Your exasperation is evident in your tone and San sucks in a breath at how done you seem. “Look, San. I’m sure you didn’t mean it to be that bad. But I’m just…tired. I’m tired of always wondering what is running through your mind, where I am in your list of importance. You date Yeseul, but break up with her over me. You give me the cold shoulder when I go on a date, but suddenly me being on a date is unacceptable. I just don’t know how to take anything.”
Against your will, tears start to drop onto your thighs, streaking down the skin and you sniff. “Shit,” San panics beside you. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.” He hands you a tissue and you take it with shaking hands, pressing your face into it as San tugs you closer, guiding you to lean against him.
He repeats soft little ‘sorry’s and leans his head atop yours, his tears falling onto your hair. The two of you stay in this position for a long while, no words are needed to understand the emotional moment.
“Let’s go home, YN,” San mumbles, his voice vibrating deep in your heart. “Let’s go home and we can talk tomorrow.”
You sniff again, tears run dry as you sit up and wipe your eyes. “Okay,” you whisper out. “Let’s go home.”
San stays attached to you throughout the drive home, his hand gripping onto your own hand whenever he can, and quickly wrapping you into a back hug as you walk up to the apartment. “I…cuddle with me tonight?” you ask, eyes flitting away from his face, missing the brilliant smile that spreads across it.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he hums, walking with you to his room, and he lets you slide in first, the smell of his detergent filling your mind and your eyelids flutter shut already. San crawls in next to you, pulling you close.
“Good night, YN,” San mumbles as your breathing evens out. As you drift off into sleep, you swear you feel his soft lips on your forehead but you dismiss it as wishful thinking.
-
When you reawaken, San’s still curled up, your body covered by his, his breathing slow and gentle. You can’t help but blink a couple of times to make sure it isn’t a dream when his arms tighten around your waist and he shifts. “YN?” His morning voice is as rough as always, rumbling low in his chest.
“Hey, Sanah,” you greet him quietly, leaning up to meet his eyes blinking slowly at you like a cat’s. “Good morning.”
“Hi.” He dips his head to nuzzle into your neck, breathing in your scent. “I should probably explain myself.” His voice vibrates against your neck and you giggle softly at the ticklish feeling.
“That would be nice.”
San huffs, but he can’t complain about your snark. “I like you, YN. I don’t know when I started to, and I definitely didn’t realise I did until I started dating Yeseul. I did like her, but not as deeply as I thought I did. It was so easy to break up with her as soon as she made me pick between you and her. The answer came to me without a doubt in my mind as soon as the question left her lips, and yet I still didn’t realise my true feelings.” He laughs self-deprecatingly, and you stroke his hair comfortingly. “I didn’t realise why I was so pissed about you going out with Juyeon, and that’s why I was avoiding you. It’s a stupid reason, I know. But I just didn’t know why, not until I saw you at the party kissing him. I just wanted to be there instead of you. And I’m sorry, and I understand if you don’t like me anymore, but–”
“I love you.”
His head snaps up to stare at you after your sudden declaration, and after he registers your words a smile spreads across his face. He puffs out a breathy chuckle and you know his answer before he even says it. “I love you too.”
His eyes shine like you’ve hung the stars in the skies, and when they flit down to your lips, you know an unspoken question when you see it. You lean forward slowly, letting your eyes close once more when your lips meet his.
And damn, you were right about how San kisses. In a second, he deepens the kiss, bringing his hands up to cup your face while his tongue swipes at your lips. Shyly, you part your lips and he dives right in, licking into your mouth and biting at your lips.
“Sanah,” you gasp into his mouth, the sound swallowed by his plush lips. “Sanah–”
You repeat his name like a prayer as his lips travel down to your neck, littering wet kisses and bite marks all over your sensitive skin. “Fuck, baby, you’re so sweet to me,” San moans against your body. “Please, please, let me treat you right, make it up to you. Let me worship you.”
You whine as he laves his tongue over your breasts spilling out of the crop top you had worn last night. Any other time you would’ve stressed at how gross the clothes were but right now you could hardly even think about it. “Fuck, yes, please,” you beg when San nips at your cleavage, leaving a mark.
“Ah, already begging for me,” San groans, his hips pressing into your legs. “You’re so perfect.” His voice grows whiney as his sucks on your nipples, making your back arch.
His kisses move down your body until his breath is ghosting over your stomach and his hands are pawing at your pants, shoving them down as quickly as he can. He doesn’t have the same amount of minimal patience for your panties, and before you can react, he’s ripped them off your legs. “Choi San!” you scold, shifting to try and sit up but his grip on your hips stops you from moving too far.
“I’ll buy you a new pair,” San promises before diving right in and sucking at your clit without another moment’s hesitation. Your hips jerk and your core tightens at the sudden feeling as you throw your head back and moan so loudly it’s bordering on a scream
His ministrations on your dripping cunt have you wordless. His fingers are pressing into your hip bones, the sensation making you squirm. As soon as his tongue breaches your clenching hole your hands fly down to grasp at his hair. “Fuck–” you squeal, your legs attempting to close but San just pushes them apart again, busying himself in your folds.
“Fuck, you taste so good,” San groans, the vibrations sending shivers up your spine as he lets his teeth scrape against your clit. You can hardly focus on anything at the barrage of sensations filling you up, San fucking his tongue into you so well. Your thighs are shaking as you can feel yourself grow wetter and wetter against his face.
When you tilt your head down, he meets your eyes as he moves one of his hands to push a finger into your hole. “Shit–” your grip on his hair tightens impossibly. “Sanah–”
“Come for me, love,” San groans, and you let the dam break, screaming out his name until your voice is hoarse, and San licks up your release through it all.
When he finally pulls away from your twitching and sensitive core, his lips are covered in your glistening slick, thick globs of it sitting pretty on his chin. Without thinking, you pull him down and crash your lips against his, tasting yourself on his tongue. San groans as you lick his face clean, shoving your tongue deep into his mouth.
“Fuck, I need to fuck you right now or else I think I might go insane,” San growls, blindly fumbling in his nightstand to pull out a condom as he shoves down his sweats to reveal his hard, red cock. Without another thought, he opens the pack with his teeth, rolling the latex down his length with ease thanks to the precum dribbling down it.
He lines up, the tip of it kissing your hole, when you groan. You’re much too impatient for this, reaching down and holding him steady as you shift your body to sink onto his thick cock. “Shit, YN,” San grits out as you take him deeper and deeper until your cunt kisses his crotch. “You’re too much.”
You pant, shifting on his cock as you try to get used to the stretch. He’s not the longest you’ve had, but he’s thick and the stretch is almost too much. “You’re fucking talking, you fill me up so fucking well, Sanah.” You hiss as you throw your head back, the stinging melting into pleasure. “Fuck me already, San. Or should I go and find Juyeon to–”
You’re cut off by San thrusting into you so violently that you swear the bed shakes. “I don’t want to hear that fucking name out of your mouth anymore,” San commands, leaning forward until his body weight pins you down and your eyes roll back as he starts fucking into you with short, quick thrusts.
With every movement, you feel like you may break apart. You can hear every slick sound, the sound of it obscene, and yet all you want is more. Your previous release coats his cock so well, thick strings of it attaching to his hips.
His arms wrap around your waist, and before you can protest or do anything, he hoists you up until you’re sitting in his lap. You swear this angle makes him impale you even deeper, his cockhead kissing the perfect spot deep inside you. Your head drops to San’s shoulder, moaning against the fabric of his shirt. “Fuck, San, you’re so deep,” you moan high-pitched. “You’re so fucking good for me.”
San growls, pressing a kiss behind your ear. “You’re so tight for me, so much better than Yeseul. I saw you in the mirror, you know,” he whispers conspiratorially and you gasp and clench, snapping your head to look at him. “You’re not as sneaky as you thought, love. Did you touch yourself to the thought of me fucking you so well?”
You whine, words failing you, and San’s hips slow to a stop. You try your best to grind against him but his hands grip your waist, keeping you still. “Please–” you try to beg but San chuckles and nips at your earlobe.
“Answer me, YN.”
“Fuck– Yes!” you cry out, so eager for him to start moving again. “Wanted you to fill me with your cum so well until it was spilling out of me. Please, please, please, fuck me.”
“Hm.” And without any warning, San jerks his hips up into you, biting into your neck like a fucking vampire and you scream, hips stuttering as you come on his cock. You don’t think you’re making any coherent noises, just babbling into his neck as your bones become jelly from the overstimulation.
If you thought the sounds were obscene before, you swear they’ve become ten times worse as you lay limp against San’s body. He’s moving you up and down his cock like a doll and you pant, squeezing your eyes shut as you still feel aftershocks from your orgasm.
“Shit, you’re so warm around me, I’m gonna come,” San moans in your ear, his rhythm breaking as he drops your weight on his cock. You can feel him twitching inside you as his teeth sink into your neck once more. “God, I want to fill you up so badly, but that’s just going to have to wait, my love.”
After a long moment, he pulls out, groaning at your come coating the condom and his thighs. Without thinking, he dips his fingers in the mess and brings it to his mouth, licking it off like it’s the most delicious thing in the world to him. “Come here, baby,” he says in that beautifully raspy voice, and you lean forward, meeting his lips in another kiss.
This kiss is sweet and soft, but the lingering taste of your shared releases still permeates your taste buds. You sigh, leaning your head against his shoulder as he lays against the wall with you in his arms.
“I’m sorry,” he apologises again, pressing another kiss to the top of your head and it’s almost like he hadn’t fucked you like it was your last day on earth. “I won’t ever leave you again.”
You hum, turning your head to pepper kisses over his neck freckles. “I should be the one saying that. I love you, San. And I’ll always run to you with no hesitation.”
680 notes · View notes
intromortal · 20 days
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
situationship!y.jw x reader
wc: 2,5k+
cw: smut, brat taming, oral (f receiving), teasing, overstimulation, no protection, creampie, a tiny bit of plot bc i can't shut up, jake is a loser, i think that's all!
Tumblr media
“Wonnie, please", you manage to whine out while knowing better than anyone that it’s not enough to get him moving to where you need him the most.
“You know better than giving me half-finished sentences, especially with the stunt you’ve pulled today doll”, he leans back on his knees with a playful smirk on his face.
You feel tears prickle your eyes at the humiliation while you debate whether it’s worth ignoring his request and waiting it out, even though you already know the answer.
Jungwon senses your tiny moment of hesitation and takes advantage of that, inching his fingers closer to your weeping hole.
“Mmh, seems I have to fuck it out of you then", he says as he pushes your matching panties aside and collects your juices on two of his fingers before pushing them in, doing his best not to stimulate your clit just like he knows you need him to, looking at the scene before him with his bottom lip between his teeth.
You immediately regret not giving him what he wants right away, Jungwon might be possessive, but he is also very, very patient.
You’re whining now, “I’m sorry, please, I need your tongue”.
“You’re a little too late on that baby, don’t you think?” he smiles down at you and coos at your pleading face, “gonna have you so dumb on my fingers, my tongue's all you’re gonna think about”.
You would be lying if you said that annoying Jungwon was not one of your favourite things to do ever since you two became friends.
Can you even call it that? You don’t think fucking behind the rest of your friend’s backs is the ideal definition of friendship, but if that’s all he’s willing to give you, then you won’t turn it down.
There's an uncertainty around your relationship that leaves you confused. You feel like he avoids the subject anytime you try to bring it up, but you yourself also don't really know what you want since you’ve never been the type to want anything serious anyway.
At least for now.
Sure he's extremely good-looking, but thinking about him sexually had not ever crossed your mind, let alone romantically.
Well, at least until the night you found yourself alone with him at your apartment after everyone else left and decided to talk back one time too many, pushing him to quite literally flip your world upside down. 
But still,
you just never cared about relationships. 
The first times you found yourself entangled in his bedsheets were never planned, just the result of heated gazes and lingering touches. You chalked up your longing for him to the feeling of newness and unfamiliarity, the Jungwon you know outside his bedroom seemingly a completely different person.
Then, as the months went by and the meet-ups started getting more frequent and planned, but the feelings stayed the same, you decided it just had to be that no one has ever made you cum as hard as Yang Jungwon has.
Just two friends fooling around.
So why did you feel so hurt by him suddenly rejecting your advances?
As desperate as it sounds, you had been trying your hardest to get his attention for the past few weeks in multiple ways, going as far as sending him pics with your expensive new lingerie set, only to get left on read.
Your confidence took a hit from this. Had Jungwon suddenly stopped finding you attractive? Was he seeing someone prettier? Though with the memories of his open-mouthed kisses all over and the hours he spent worshipping your body, you could not make any sense out of it.
Maybe that was just the way he fucked no matter who was under him, so passionate you would think it was love he was making to you, not just a hookup.
It's not like he's the only person you could fuck. Anyone would drop to your knees if you asked them to. 
And very desperate, kinda pathetic Jake was waiting for you, he had been for a long time.
Everyone in your friend group knows that he has his eyes on you, even though he has yet to make his move because of how inexperienced he is, scared he might not be good enough for someone like you. But you might just find it hot, you might just want to teach him how to pleasure you. 
That, or you were just irremediably horny after Jungwon left you hanging for so long.
That’s how you find yourself in your current position, Jake inviting you over to his and Jungwon’s shared apartment for a glass of wine after a night out with your friends which you spent very openly flirting with him (very much to Jay’s dismay, who just told you to take jake back to your dorm and get it over with, you couldn’t help but let your gaze wander to dungeon, curious about his reaction, only for him to ignore the comment completely).
You walk in with the two friends, Jake taking your jacket from you and pouring you a glass of wine while Jungwon bee-lined for his room. 
You got comfortable on their couch while making conversation with Jake, wondering why the man you’re trying to get out of your mind didn’t take up Heeseung’s offer to crash at his place, sensing where things were going between you and the blonde.
Jake was honestly shocked at your sudden attention, after so many years of pining after you he was about to give up hope. You clearly had known about his attraction for you for a while, so he wondered what suddenly changed. Not that he was complaining, he’d take anything you were willing to offer him.
You were so beautiful to him. He honestly struggled to believe you were real sometimes, like in this very moment, your makeup a bit smudged from the hours spent outside, your very short skirt riding up your plush thighs and the dazed look in your eyes from the alcohol. He thinks you might be the single most gorgeous being he has ever laid eyes on. 
So it’s not surprising that he has to excuse himself to the bathroom to sneakily take care of his raging hard-on before he comes in his pants from just looking at you like the little pathetic virgin he is. He absolutely cannot embarrass himself like that in front of you.
Jungwon walks out of his room, walking right in front of you to get to the kitchen, completely ignoring your existence. You’re very irritated by now and would be lying if you said you weren’t expecting some sort of reaction from him after months of intimacy.
He walks back with a water bottle in his hands, his biceps flexing when opening the tight cap and taking a gulp of it while keeping his eyes on you. Suddenly you feel very small under his watchful gaze, but he has yet to speak to you.
So you bite first.
“What do you want?", it’s more of a snarky remark than a question, but he doesn't show any annoyance to your sour tone. 
“Has the bitch boy cum his pants yet?”, he says while closing the bottle.
You try to hide how taken aback you are by his comment, but he knows your expressions better than anyone else.
“Excuse me?”
“Don’t play dumb now, it's either that or he’s fucking his fist thinking about you in that bathroom hoping he’ll last longer in your cunt. Cute really, I’ll give him a few strokes max”.
You can’t help but get goosebumps after finally hearing his voice addressing you after so long, filthy words still sounding so angelic to your ears.
You did admit you have always liked annoying him.
“And how is that any of your business? Yang Jungwon”, you say while challenging him with eye contact.
He slightly rolls his eyes at that, a small smirk playing on his lips, showcasing his dimple.
He seems to think about what you just said, tilting his head to the side while looking at you, his bangs slightly covering his eyebrows. Unfortunately, you are all too familiar with the glint in his eyes.
“You’re right, that would be none of my business if it weren't for the fact that you spent this entire night desperately looking to rile me up while trying to get that little bitch to fuck you”. He speaks softly as he inches closer, towering over your sat figure on the couch, "you're trying way too hard, for your information", he adds as he gently tilts your head up with his fingers.
“Jake? Really? Can he please you as well as I do?”.
You're surprised to hear him talk about his best friend like that, but you already know the answer to that question as you close the gap between your lips.
 Not too long after that, you find yourself pushed against the door of Jungwon’s room, legs wrapped around his waist as he leaves wet open-mouthed kisses along your neck and collarbones, the blonde long forgotten.
You try to grind down on his very evident boner but he keeps your hips still with his strong arms.
“Behave”, he whispers sternly before moving his mouth to your ear and grazing it gently with his teeth.
He suddenly pulls away and shoves you onto his bed, towering over you and sliding his leg between your thighs.
“Wanted my attention? Don’t worry baby, you’ll get it alright”, he whispers while slowly removing your top, revealing the same lace bralette of that lingerie set you sent him pics of.
You suddenly feel embarrassed, he had ignored those texts, and he must have disliked them.
Your worries are revealed to be baseless when, as if reading your mind, Jungwon lets out a groan at the sight and takes one of your nipples in his mouth while his fingers toy with the other but decides to keep the thin material on your chest.
You try to sneak your hands behind your back to undo the claps, but he stops you. “Keep it on baby, fucked my fist so many times to those pics, wanted my attention so bad, didn’t you?”, he rasps between sucks, starting to kiss and lick down your navel. You let out a moan to that, the thought of Jungwon pleasuring himself too hot to handle, you think about asking him why he never replied, why he left you hanging for so long, but you hold your tongue, you're sure you’ve already ridiculed yourself enough in his eyes.
You have a suspicion he will go back to pretending you don’t exist after he has his way with you, but you push these thoughts to the back of your mind, choosing to focus on his hands flipping up your pathetic excuse of a skirt as his kisses that are slowly inching toward your thighs.
He takes his time with them, nibbling at them slightly, knowing he’s driving you absolutely insane.
He spends the next half hour denying any stimulation to your clit, using his other hand to keep your hip to the bed to stop you from chasing his fingers. 
“Wonnie please, do something, anything,” you say between sniffles. He suddenly relents and inches his face to your clothed cunt, removing his fingers and licking your clit through the fabric.
“Won I’m beg-“ he doesn’t let you finish this time. “Got you doll”, he whispers as he lowers your panties slightly and attaches his mouth to your cunt, nose bumping your clit every time he moves.
He’s now removing his mouth from your cunt, ignoring your protests as he inserts his fingers inside you immediately lowering his head again to take your clit in his mouth, sucking on it. 
You know you’re close and you're so afraid he’s just going to rip it away from you, nonetheless, you know that even if you try to lie he’ll be able to tell when you’re coming anyway, no one knowing the signs of your body language as well as he does.
“I’m close, please, Won, don’t take it away”, you sniffle as tears start to form again in your eyes. Jungwon fondly giggles at your dumb state as he guides you towards your high, helping you ride it as you come on his tongue with a drawn-out moan of his name.
“You taste so good baby, let Jake know who is making you cum”, he keeps slowly fucking his fingers inside you as he makes eye contact, his gaze dazed with need.
You’re so surprised he actually let you cum that you don’t realise he has gone back to lapping at you, moaning into your mound at how sweet you are. 
You try to pry him away, but he easily pins your arms down with one of his, his head coming up slightly to speak to you, “we are far from being done doll, you wanted my attention”, he whispers seductively at you “you’re gonna have to take it all”.
Jake doesn’t remember when he let lust take over him and slightly opened the door to peer in and doesn’t know how many times he’s blown a load. He suspects it to be even more than you have, and right now you’re a babbling mess under Jungwon, that’s finally fucking into you after god knows how long he spent with his head between your legs. All Jake knows is that there’s cum all over his hand and his cock is so sensitive and tears are streaking down his cheeks and he still wants to bury himself in you so bad he thinks he might die. 
He should be offended really, he should be one between your legs. Jake wants it to be him so fucking badly and feels so pathetic as his cock hardens in his hand once again.
He saw how Jungwon eyed the both of you during the night, and if looks could kill, he’d be six feet under right now. He feels grateful to even be able to listen and watch you two.
So he starts moving his hand once again, closing his eyes while trying to hold back any sound and imagines that those sweet sounds you’re making are reactions to his actions and not those of his housemate.
Jungwon knows the other male has been spying on you two, and he tries to ignore the way this information makes his cock twitch. He almost feels sorry for you, fucked so dumb you can barely form coherent sentences, only sweet babbles of his name leaving your mouth. He thinks it's the best thing he has ever heard. 
“Close doll, just a little longer”, he whispers fondly in your ear. You’ve been so good to him, and he feels his heart swell with pride and his cock twitch at the thought of Jake seeing you so sweet and compliant for him. 
He knows he's looking and knows he shouldn't find his pathetic friend fisting his cock to him fucking your tiny cute abused cunt so hot, but he does.
And it makes him cum so hard he's surprised at himself.
He slows down slightly before pulling out, careful not to let any of his seed slip out, fingering it back in despite your complaints and pulling your cute little panties up your hips to keep it there, finally letting himself meet Jake's gaze with a smirk on his face.
Tumblr media
a/n: wrote this on a whim and definitely don't love it but still thought i'd share. thank you rolling eyes in live jungwon for being my muse
468 notes · View notes
hannieehaee · 1 month
Text
DOES HE KNOW ? (teaser)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
18+ / mdi
summary: after being friends with lee chan for a good portion of your life, the boy you considered nothing but your best friend suddenly starts acting different, making you slowly fall for him. problem is, you have a boyfriend.
content: friends2lovers!chan, reader has a bf, almost cheating but not actually, afab reader, smut, oral (f receiving), wet dream (this is actually a huge point in the plot lol), masturbation (f receiving), dry humping, more oral (f receiving), penetrative sex, etc.
(^ no actual content warnings in the teaser)
wc: 1k (teaser); 9.8k (full fic)
release date: april 17th
or you can check it out on my ko-fi or patreon today by subscribing to either one!
a/n: rewrote this so many times but finally finished it!! i love writing channie so i hope u guys enjoy<3
masterlist
support me through a one time tip<3
Something was clearly wrong with you.
Was Lee Chan hot?
Nothing made sense anymore, and it had been the case for a while.
You could date it back to some months ago, at one of Soonyoung's usual gatherings. This had been where it all began, or more so, where it all ended.
For some reason unknown to man, that was the day in which Chan began courting you (his words, not yours).
After years of a solid friendship between the two of you, a not-so tipsy Chan cornered you at aforementioned party and began dancing with you. This was a common occurrence between the two of you. Despite having been taken for the past few months, you were still quite liberal about your touchy relationship with your best friend. However, what happened next what was truly out of the ordinary.
"Hey," he had whispered against your ear.
"Yeah?", you giggled, entertained by the boy.
"Wanna know a secret?"
"Sure."
"I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you," and with that, the dam had broken.
You froze against his arms, eyes widening. Though he could not see, as you were holding each other far too close to make eye contact.
Maybe he was drunk?
He interrupted you before you could respond. Chan pulled away from you to look into your eyes with a fully sober look in his face.
"I'm not drunk, and I know you have a boyfriend. And I know you only see me as a friend. But give me a few weeks, and I'll change both those things," was the last thing he said before giving you a peck on the cheek (yet another common thing in your relationship) and walking away with a confident sway in his step.
Ever since then, you had been bombarded by romantic gestures from your former best friend – former because you truly had no idea how you felt about him by this point.
Chan bought you flowers, – even when it was raining – had your favorite beverage at hand any time you so happened to see him, tied your shoelaces should they ever come undone, plucked loose eyelashes from your cheeks, tucked your hair behind your ear, placed his hand at the small of your back before crossing a street, walked you to and from home, looked at you with an indescribable sweetness in his eye, he ... He did everything any girl would need to be completely swooned (and then some).
You were beyond confused as to when this change had come about. As far as you knew, you were nothing more than best friends. When had Chan even begun liking you? What had changed?
"Oh. He's always had a thing for you," was what your mutual friend Soonyoung said when you first brought it up.
"What do you mean? We've been friends for years, he's never-"
"Yeah, duh. You never showed interest, what was he supposed to do? But yeah, he's crazy about you," added Seungkwan, sipping his drink nonchalantly.
You had decided to meet up with some of your mutual friends while Chan was at work. You needed at least five minutes with your other friends without Chan getting in the way with his flirting.
"It's kinda sick, actually," interjected Soonyoung once more.
You remained quiet for a while, thinking back to every interaction you'd ever had with Chan that may have revealed his feelings for you. Unfortunately, you kept drawing blanks all the while Soonyoung stole fries from your plate, disregarding your confusion at the situation.
"But why now?", you finally asked, slapping his meddling hand away from your food.
He shrugged, "Maybe he got fed up of watching you with that guy."
"He has a name, Soonyou-"
"None of us really care enough to learn it."
That much was true. None of your friends were fans of your current boyfriend. Or of any of them, to be quite frank. You had certain lack of skill at picking them, though this time around you felt confident about your current relationship. He was nice and respectful. Maybe a little bit of a square, but you liked to think you brought out the fun in him. This was also the longest relationship you'd ever had, giving you the grand total of three months in a exclusive relationship and a month and a half of a very prolonged talking stage that took place before he ever asked you out officially.
"Is this because I've been taken for longer than usual?", you tried to assert.
"Oh! That might be it, huh?", Soonyoung agreed.
"Well, I guess he didn't want you to break your streak of failed relationships," chuckled Kwan.
With a slap to his chest, you dropped the subject, deciding to ignore the slight acceleration of your heart any time you thought about Chan's crush for too long.
At first you found it to be a bit of a joke, but his affections quickly began to wear you down. It also didn't help how blatant he was about it, constantly flirting up a storm around your friends, not caring for their amused smiles at your flustered half-rejections of his advances. The only times in which he held back were the rare occasions in which your boyfriend would join your friend group in their outings. He could be reserved at times, not really clicking with your loud friends, so his presence was not a common thing.
Being honest, you felt kind of bad at the genuine excitement Chan's crush gave you. Though you weren't sure of your feelings for him at this point, his interest flustered you tremendously. You'd always known him as a pretty and charming guy, despite never really acknowledging such things. You understood why he got so much attention from girls, though you never thought too much of it. He was your best friend, you never had any motive to consider anything further than platonic feelings for him. But now that you were questioning your feelings, you felt as if you were kind of betraying your boyfriend.
Not to misunderstand, you had no desire of pursuing anything with anyone while you were in a committed relationship. You were just not that kind of person. But the mere thought of blushing at the words of a guy who wasn't yours (all while actually having a guy of your own) made you feel ashamed. Specially considering that you already had a very grand preexisting fondness for the guy in question.
God damn you, Lee Chan.
...
read today on ko-fi or patreon by subscribing to either one<3
478 notes · View notes
pandorascripts · 10 months
Text
a couple of what?!
summary: When out on the streets of NYC with your girlfriend, the paparazzi thinks you guys are friends. A rough make out session on the street tells the world otherwise.
pairing: taylor swift/reader
cw: kissing, light swearing, fluff.
note: so apparently I write for Taylor now LMAO. I literally was listening to dress and was like “fuck it” and boom twenty minutes later, here we are. So requests are open for her too! Also posted on ao3.
—-;—-;—-;—-;—-;—-;—-;—-
It’s been two months since Taylor asked you to be her girlfriend, and honestly, it’s been the best two months of your life. Taylor’s sweet, romantic, and comforting. Everything about her is a giant green flag, down from her cat obsession to her devotion to her fans. You truly can’t imagine how you got this lucky. 
So, sitting across from her in a fancy restaurant, you tell her so. 
“Hey, Taylor?”
She sets her glass down, smiling at you lightly. “Yeah?”
“I just wanted to say that, uh, you just make me really happy.” You look down to the table, realizing how absolutely, cringey that sounded out loud. 
Taylor only smiled widely, taking your hand in hers. “You make me happy too. Really happy.”
Your cheeks flush a light red, eyes locking into her shockingly blue ones. Another thing about Taylor— she’s astronomically beautiful. With lungs who can’t do their job, you go back to eating your food. Although you have to do it with your left hand because Taylor still has your hand in hers. Not like you care for how much slower it makes you— your appetite left the moment she had complimented your shirt. 
As your dinner wraps up— Taylor arguing that she wanted to pay, to which you just swapped your credit cards at the last moment— she leads you outside, pinkies locked. Since you were in Net York City for the weekend, Taylor had called herself your personal guide, showing you anything and everything. You smile, Taylor pointing out a random alley that she swore was significant. 
It didn’t take long for paparazzi to find the two of you, but you didn’t mind. You and Taylor weren’t exactly “out” with your relationship, but you had both agreed to just be yourselves out in public. So if the paps got a photo of you two kissing, then it was whatever. Taylor thought it would be funny to see her fans reaction to your guys’ “friendship.” 
It wasn’t until the paparazzi started asking you questions, did Taylor tense. 
“Y/N! Over here! Are you single?” 
“Are you with Taylor?”
You ignored them, lightly squeezing Taylor’s hand three times. She looked down to you, smiling slightly. It didn’t last long because son enough, her expression flipped like a dime. Taylor turned on her heel, staring one of the men down. 
“What did you just say?”
The man in question shrinks away from her gaze, shrugging and mumbling incoherent things. 
“Hey, Tay, let’s just g—“
In one fluid movement, Taylor has her hand on your hip, the one that was holding your hand is now imbedded in your hair. She leans down quickly, lips pressing against yours roughly, your hair being tugged lightly. There’s shouts all around, cameras shuttering as you fling your arms over Taylor’s shoulders. You don’t care in the slightest because Taylor’s hands are currently wandering, running up and down your back and hooking your thigh against her waist. 
Taylor pulls away slightly, just enough time for you to mumble a quick “Oh” before she leans back in. 
The paparazzi still hasn’t lost interest, so Taylor takes one of her hands away from you and sticks it up in the air— the ring on her middle finger gleaming in the sunlight like a beacon. 
As she’s doing this, you pull away to face the crowd. They each swarm you, getting photos of your face and her’s. It doesn’t take a genius to know Taylor’s lipstick is smudged and remnants are littered over your mouth. 
Taylor looks at the man from before, a smug grin on her face. “A couple of best friends my ass.”
You let out a snort, Taylor pushing past paparazzi and messaging her driver. 
“Babe, he called us friends? And you did that?”
Taylor looks down to you, a little bit of worry on her face. “Was that not okay? Oh my god, I should’ve as—“
You bring her head down to you, kissing her lips softly as more cameras flash. “It was perfect.”
Before Taylor can say anything, her driver’s skirting around the bend and you guys are stepping in her car. 
With a bit of morbid curiosity, you decide to look at the internet in fifteen minutes. You’re not so much worried for this news, everyone who matters to you knows about your relationship with Taylor, but you are worried about society’s. Of course it’s 2023, being homophobic is the new weird, so you’re only basing your fears off of stupidity. And Taylor’s fans? They’ll see this as an absolute win. 
984 notes · View notes
bxtchycaprisun · 6 months
Text
let it be me | a. anderson ONE-SHOT
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
summary: you’d been avoiding your best friend for weeks, and she was determined to figure out what was wrong. she never would have guessed your absence was due to your repressed romantic feelings, which she also happened to share.
notes: fem!reader, bsf!abby, softdom!abby, porn w/ a plot, mutual pining, friends to lovers, angst but in a fluffy way, SMUT, fingering (both receiving), pussy eating (r!receiving), thigh riding, dirty talk, lots of pet names, i think that’s it? 
a/n: i know this isn’t obstinate, but it’s wlw season and i’m WOMANLESS, so i needed to write some smut.
MDNI!!! sexual content. comment if you want to be added to my tag list
(named after the ray lamontagne song)
you and abby never fought.
attached at the hip from the start of elementary school, the two of you were never seen without each other. and as new friend groups came and left, you and abby always stayed inseparable.
you were so close that she’d even followed you out of state to your dream university after you’d graduated high school.
despite the feelings that emerged in your early teen years when abby had grown taller, and the impact of her various high school sports was clear on her toned arms, you never dared to express your changing perspective of her.
other than some consistent cuddling most friends would consider crossing a boundary, the lines of your friendship never thought to cross between platonic and romantic. you figured that if she were to ever return your feelings, she would have by now.
and even though you two were only friends, in a way, she was yours, and you were hers.
or at least, that’s how you saw it.
that was until you saw her out with angela, her chem partner who you’d heard her complain about dozens of times, a girl you thought she hated. and they were drinking coffee and eating pastries at the east campus cafe, you and abby’s cafe.
and though you knew your perception of your relationship was nothing but a fantasy, it almost felt like a betrayal to see her like that with someone else. but of course, you couldn’t actually be mad at her for it, nor would you explain what was making you so upset.
so you did the one thing you thought was logical, you avoided her.
knowing that she would see right through you from the beginning, and demand that you tell her what was wrong, you tried to be strategic about it.
but you couldn’t a thing past your best friend, the girl who knew you like the back to your hand.
and you had no idea what you were in for if you continued your fit.
it had been two weeks since you sent abby the text, and now, as she laid belly down on her crammed dorm bed, she was rereading it.
y/n: oh my god abs, i’ve got the worst week coming up everrr. hannah scheduled me like double the hours i’ve asked for and i’ve got two exams! fmlllll
abby: damn, i’m sorry bun. still room for me in that schedule of yours?
y/n: you know it abby. text you later, off to work
the conversation didn’t worry abby much initially. but looking back on it, she saw it in a different light.
you didn’t make time for her. and she was determined to know why.
abby sat up in her bed, furrowing her brows as she remembered the date. it was a wednesday.
she opened back up her texts, quickly typing out her message.
abby: what time you coming over tonight? it’s october, so we can officially make our movie nights halloween dedicated :)
she pursed her lips worriedly as she awaited your response. she had been shot down daily over the last couple of weeks, always given the same excuse. work, exams, stomach flu, etc.
abby knew something was up, she just needed one final confirmation.
y/n: shit, i totally forgot! i promised i’d take my coworkers closing shift since she opened for me. next wednesday i promise!
abby felt her heart sink, the situation becoming all too real and unavoidable. you were angry at her, and she didn’t have a clue why.
she scrambled out a message, quickly pressing send and biting the inside of her cheek as she watched the unchanging screen.
abby: are you mad at me? please tell me what i did, and i’ll fix it
she watches with a tight chest as the bubble of your response appears and disappears. and as ten minutes pass with no text back, she throws her phone down on the bed, groaning into her hands.
if it had been anyone else, she’d assume you were just busy at work. but this was you.
abby sprung up from the bed, throwing on a jacket and slipping her feet swiftly into her beat up sneakers. the sneakers you’d bought her for her 16th birthday.
she swung open the door, grabbing her things and moving swiftly down the stairs and out her dorm hall. she tucked her hands under her arms, pulling her hoodie over her head as she walked through the breezy fall air.
she rounded the familiar block and pushed into the entrance of your dorms.
and before she could think twice, she brought her fist up to your door, banging loudly with her other hand stuffed in her pocket.
“open the door!” she says sternly, already hearing your movement in the dorm.
you pull the door open with a displeased grunt, but as you recognize the rosy cheeked girl in front of you, your eyes widen.
“a-abby?” you stutter, staring up at her with a guilty expression.
she stares at you, taking in your loose sweats and braless tank. you weren’t at work, and you certainly weren’t getting ready.
after a long pause, the reality of the situation setting in, abby speaks up.
“you lied.” she murmurs, her voice low.
you cast your gaze down, stepping back to let her in silently. you knew you weren’t gonna get out of this one.
she shoves her way into your room, shutting the door loudly and pulling her hood off to look down at you disapprovingly.
“so,” she huffs, throwing her arms up and crossing them against her chest. “are you gonna tell me what’s going on with you?”
you sigh, pinching your temples. “nothings… nothings going on i just-” you begin before being cut off abruptly.
“nothings going on?” she repeats desperately, “y/n, you’ve avoided me for weeks!”
“i- i haven’t avoided you,” you reply breathlessly, stepping forward. “i’ve been really busy.”
“oh right, busy,” she scoffs, “just like how you’re so busy right now?”
you bow your head silently, avoiding her burning gaze. “i- i can explain..” you say slowly, although you sure as hell didn’t want to.
“great!” she snaps, “good, let’s hear it.” she shifts her weight back and forth on her legs, her figure now trembling with anger and desperation.
you look up at her with pleading eyes, trying to find away to avoid this conversation if you had any hope of keeping your friendship the same.
you were so disappointed with yourself you felt like you could cry. for years you’d stuffed your feelings down, terrified not just of rejection but of your own selfishness.
abby was the perfect friend, she was everything you could ask for and more, and yet your inconsiderate mind desired more. and when she didn’t give that to you, you pushed her away.
abby watched your expressions alter, staring at you with her mouth agape. “well?” she asks in a final, breathless plea.
when she doesn’t get a response, her mind jumps to the only conclusion she could think of.
“you’re… you’re seeing someone?” she whispers, her face falling.
your expression twists in confusion and frustration at her accusation, shaking your head fervently. “what? what are you talking about?”
“you are, aren’t you?” she presses on, taking a step forward.
you roll your eyes at the irony of her words. “no okay, i’m not seeing anyone,” you huff, the attitude clear in your voice. “you’re the one that’s seeing someone,” you murmur, back turned to your best friend. your eyes widen at your own words, cursing yourself for letting that slip.
you hear abby’s breath falter behind you. “what?” she asks, voice somewhat amused which annoyed the hell out of you. “did you say i’m seeing someone?”
despite knowing how childish you were being, you narrow your eyes, continuing on with your antics.
“well you are, aren’t you?” you say with a pout, tilting you chin up at her.
at this, abby laughs at you. “y/n… are you talking about angela?” she says with a smirk. “i’ve been trying to tell you about that, so much happened!” she exclaims and you nearly feel like breaking down then and there.
your expression drops, lips curling into a proper frown as you turn away from her once again. she stutters as she sees your change in demeanor.
“yeah right, i’d just love to hear all about angela,” you mutter, unable to meet her piercing blue eyes.
“no no.. it was bad, okay, it was really bad,” she chuckles, rushing over to grab your arms and turn you to face her. but as she takes in your distressed expression, abby’s mouth hangs open, the pieces of the puzzle slowly falling into place in her mind.
“hey, hey, what is it?” she cooes, her voice softened as she brings her hand to cup the side of your face, stroking your cheek.
when you don’t respond once again, her back straightens, and she drops her hands from your skin, staring down at you in contemplation.
“you’re… you’re jealous,” she says quietly, her words laced with certainty.
you shake your head, stepping back from her with worry as she figured it out. “no, why the hell would i be jealous?” you heave, but abby doesn’t let you get away.
“because you like me,” she asserts once again, hands going for your wrists as she reaches out to you.
“hey, look at me, hey..” she brings her face close to yours, lowering to your height. your arms go limp in defeat as she holds you still, grabbing your chin gently to make you look at her.
as she studies your face, the way your eyes crease with uncertainty, she knows.
“you do..” she whispers.
the only thing you can do is drop your head in shame, praying silently that she would agree to just forget this conversation completely and return to your blissful friendship.
your murmur is nearly inaudible as a small “i’m sorry,” passes through your lips.
abby inhales sharply, taking your cheeks into your hands and lifting your head to face hers in a quick motion.
“oh sweet girl… don’t be sorry..” she breathes, brushing her thumb over your bottom lip.
she stares at you for a moment, chest heaving with her uneven breathes, contemplating the same action she’d been dreaming of for years. the action she never thought she’d get the opportunity of doing.
and just as your eyes meet hers, they flutter shut to the feeling of her lips pressing against yours.
you sigh against her, the tension easing from your muscles as she guides you gently against the door, running her hands desperately, yet hesitantly over your arms and shoulders.
the touch, the way her lips gently parted yours, her tongue rolling into your mouth with a soft hum, it was foreign, yet so painfully familiar.
this was abby. your abby. the girl who had been attached to your hip for a decade. the girl you had convinced yourself never to kiss and never confess to out of fear of ruining your perfect friendship.
and you couldn’t be happier as she did it for you.
you bring your arms around her broad shoulders, pulling her against you as your noses clashed together in a desperate kiss, her hands getting rougher and more curious, and so do yours. you tug her hoodie up over her head, touching her chilled skin from the cool fall air outside.
you feel her calloused palm reach below your shirt, grazing the soft skin on your belly, inching upward to your unclothed breast. you feel her hand suddenly stop, her mouth pulling away from yours.
“abby-” you call out her name in a slight moan, digging your fingers into her hair and tugging on her braid. you knew what she was thinking. you knew she thought she was rushing things, but you didn’t care. you’d waited so long.
“i know.. i know..” she nods, eyes nearly shut as she peers down at you, leaning in again to kiss you, slowing her rhythm and taking her time with you.
you whine into her mouth, brows furrowing as you grabbed her hand, trying to pull it towards your chest once again, and she chuckles against your lips.
“so needy,” she smiles, but with how shaky her voice is, she sounds almost hypocritical.
“neglected you for so long, huh?” she grins, kissing the corner of your mouth gently.
even though abby hadn’t had many relationships or sexual partners, mostly thanks to her hopeless pining towards you, she was undeniably more experienced than you.
you could feel the hesitance in her fingertips, the uncertainty in her eyes. knowing she didn’t want to rush you, you grab her cheek, pulling her lips away to speak.
“then don’t make me wait any longer,” you whisper, eyes looking up at her pleadingly as your thighs squeezed together, desperately trying to relieve the ache between your legs.
abby smiles, not missing a beat to crash her lips to yours once again, and this time her hand travels up your chest without hesitation. you whine as you feel her thumb brush over your nipple, and arch your back against the wall.
she dips her head down to your neck, peppering kisses along your throat, and sucking soft marks onto your skin. she groans as she hears your quiet moans, feeling like she could cum on the spot. she’d envisioned how you would sound so many times, but to actually hear it was so much better.
“you’re so fucking pretty, you know that?” she hums, large palms needing your tits as she pushes your legs apart with her knee, and slots her thigh in between them. “sound so fucking pretty”
your face is red and hot as you let out a quiet whimper in response, grabbing on to her toned stomach to pull her closer. as you feel the friction of her muscular thigh against your clothed cunt, you absentmindedly grind yourself against her.
“there you go, sweetheart,” abby praises you, hands leaving your tits to hold onto your hips. she gently guides you against her propped leg, and leaves small love bites below your ear as she whispers to you. “tell me if we’re going too fast, okay? you tell me.”
you shake your head, hips picking up their rhythm as you try to chase that sensation that slowly builds in your cunt. “not too fast, abs. i want more, please?”
normally, you would care about sounding too desperate, but since this was abby, you couldn’t hold back. even in this unfamiliar situation, you were comfortable with her. and even more importantly, you needed her so bad.
“you want more, huh baby?” she cooes, smiling ear to ear as she helps you keep up your pace. suddenly, her hands push your hips back off of her, and you whine in disappointment. before you can protest the loss of contact, she brings her hands to the hem of your tank top, pulling it off your chest in a swift motion.
her palms return to your waist, guiding you quickly against your small bed, her lips instantly connected with yours once again. she pushes you gently down, situating herself between your legs, and hooking a finger at the hem of your sweatpants.
the fabric is tugged down to your ankles in seconds, and she tosses the pants across the room with a shit eating grin. you can’t help but look up and giggle at her as she crawls on the bed to meet you, kissing up your stomach and on the fat of your chest.
“whatcha laughing about, pretty girl?” abby smirks as she sucks hickeys onto your skin. she tried her best to sound stern, but she couldn’t help but melt as she heard your laugh.
“nothing, this is just weird,” you can’t help but admit with blushed cheeks. “i just… never imagined we would be doing this..”
“oh?” abby says with faux surprise, “so you’re telling me… you didn’t imagine me doing this?” she asks mischievously as she takes on of your nipples into her mouth, sucking gently.
you’re breathing falters and you let out a small gasp, handing falling the the back of her head as she runs her tongue over your hardening nipple. “n-no i mean… i imagined it… just didn’t think we actually ever would.”
abby smiles against your skin, kissing her way down your stomach and settling between your thighs. “what would you imagine, bun?” she asks teasingly as she kisses just above your underwear. “would you picture me doing this to you? dream about my mouth on your cunt?”
with that statement, abby drops in between your legs, pressing her face against your panties and inhaling dirtily. she shakes her nose against your clothed pussy, nudging your clit deliciously. you cry out into your hand, instantly squirming from her touch.
you felt her start to kitten lick your clint through the fabric, causing you to let out an deep whine. you lift your head with hazy eyes, listening to her soft growls against you, which only made your stomach whir.
“abby pl-ease,” you say brokenly, desperately bucking your hips upward to chase the friction you needed, “stop teasing me…”
“m’not teasing…” she mumbles, her voice low as she runs her tongue flat against your underwear, applying pressure to your folds.
“a-ah, please!” you moan, feeling your cunt gush with more arousal.
“you are teasing me, you are-” you begin your protest when she suddenly yanks your panties down from your hips, and before you can process it, her hot mouth is licking a stripe from your hole to your clit.
you release a borderline pornographic moan at the sensation, eyes rolling to the back of your head. she doesn’t waist any time to start sucking at your clit with vigor, and alternating to lap up your juices.
you’re nearly shaking at this point, your chest heaving with every breath and hips twitching from every touch she gives you.
“fuck- i love the way you taste bun…” abby moans into your pussy, her hands keeping a bruising grip on your waist. “knew you’d taste good.. so fucking good…”
she already sounds pussy drunk as she flattens her tongue against your clit, helping you grind your hips against her mouth however you wanted. you continuously tried to close your legs around her head, completely overwhelmed by how good she was fucking you, but each time her palm would catch your leg, only pulling you further apart.
“gotta stop squirming, baby,” abby would growl as your thighs continued to tremble and your arms would thrash around aimlessly. you respond with an apologetic whine, already too cloudy minded to form words.
when you continue to move in her grip, she finally pushes your knees against your chest, keeping you firmly pinned with your cunt fully exposed for her.
“look at that…” abby cooes as she gives your pussy a small slap before dipping her mouth back down to your hole, lapping you up quickly.
“how many fingers you want, sweet girl?” she breaks away from your cunt to ask you breathlessly, before returning to suck at your clit.
you whimper from the added pressure of the position, head falling weakly against the pillow as you tried to clear your thoughts.
“ngh.. don’t know… o-one..?” you manage to muster, but you can’t already feel yourself tipping over the edge. anything abby gave you, you would take.
“hmm…” abby smiles against your pussy, keeping your legs pushed up with one hand while bringing the other down to slide through your folds.
you groan as you feel the tips of her fingers prodding at your hole, unconsciously pushing yourself against them. “we can do two…” she whisper as she slowly inserts her middle and ring finger into your pussy, hissing through her teeth as she feels you clench around her.
“relax baby… it’s only me,” she comforts you as she curls her fingers experimentally inside of you. you let out a soft cry, back arching against your mattress as she explores your insides.
abby watches your expression carefully, her tongue giving your clit small, stimulating licks as she searched for the spot that made you scream.
when she felt the spongy area deep in your core, and watched as you jolted against her fingers, panting out a moan, she knew she found it. she gave you one last lick, collecting the juices that leaked around her fingers on her tongue, she crawled up to your face with her fingers still deep inside of you.
her strokes were slow and gentle at first, teasing that spot with an almost unbearable pace. her eyes met yours and she positioned herself above you, but her pupils were darkened.
“i want to go harder,” she whispers, her voice low and full of lust. “can i do that, bun, can i go harder?”
you nod and quickly, grabbing onto her neck and pulling her lips against yours, moaning at the taste of yourself on her tongue. “please… so close..”
she didn’t need to hear another word before her pace turned from gentle to hammering. the air is punched out of you as she drills her fingers into your pussy, curling upward and hitting that spot with every thrust.
you were crying and moaning out her name, grabbing onto anything you could as she continued her rough assault on your hole. obscene squelches from your pussy fill the room, and your face blooms from embarrassment.
abby kisses you sweetly, in sharp contrast to the brutal pace of her fingers. you wrap your arms around her, hoping for a bit of her comfort to ground you in this moment. she immediately recognizes your need, bringing her forehead against yours as she fingered you.
“that feel good baby? yeah?” she whispers, her voice sultry as her palm rubs perfectly against your clit.
“m’gonna cum.. abby.. oh my god,” you cry out, fingernails digging into her back without even realizing. she clenched her teeth, the stinging pain only enhancing her desperation.
“that’s it sweet girl..” she mumbles, her pace unbreaking. “cum on my fucking fingers- let it out.”
without missing a beat, you feel your hearing practically go out, white hot pleasure coursing through your body as your orgasm crashes down on you. you shake, mouth open in a silent moan as you ride out your high, abby’s fingers never ceasing. your final sound comes out in a shattered moan, your eyes rolled back as you grind your hips into her fingers, feeling the best high of your life.
“good girl…” abby praises, her fingers slowing down even so slightly as she watches your expression.
“good. fucking. girl.” she finishes, her pace coming to a stop as she feels you tense up from the overstimulation.
you fall against the mattress, your face completely red from your post-orgasm, and your chest heaving with every breath. abby takes her fingers out of you, shoving them into her mouth and licking them clean.
you watch her in amazement as she lowers down to your face, pressing her lips against yours gingerly. you smile against her, pulling her closer by your shoulders until she practically falling on top of you.
“y/n,” abby giggles, trying to remain propped up from her elbows. “i’m gonna crush you!”
“don’t care,” you shake your head with a wide grin.
she smiles, kissing you again, but this time with a little bit more desperation. her tongue slips past your lips, massaging the inside of your mouth.
you tug on the waist band of her sweats, looking up at her with a pout. “take ‘em off,” you whine.
abby smirks at your plea, shaking her head. “so bossy,” she mumbles, pulling down her pants and tossing them aside. you instantly spring up on your knees, smashing your lips against hers.
abby flinches a bit, startled by how quickly your fingers find their way to the waistband of her boxers. you yank them down her muscular thighs, diving your much smaller fingers between her folds as you kiss her sweetly.
“woah- baby,” abby breathes, her voice almost failing her as she grabs onto your wrist. “what’re you doing?”
“returning the favor, silly,” you grumble against her lips, smiling as you feel just how wet she is. “i think i got you a little excited,” you giggle.
“no.” abby shakes her head firmly, “you’re not the one that gets to tease me.” she tries to sound stern, but the shake in her voice didn’t go unnoticed.
it wasn’t often that abby was on the receiving side. but staring down at you, with your eyes blown wide staring at her dripping cunt, she couldn’t help but grow just as desperate. she needed this too.
you palm her aching pussy, watching in awe as she bucked her hips against you, bringing her hands up to clutch the headboard. you hold your breath to surpress your own moans at the sight, wanting to only hear her soft sighs and the dirty sounds of her wetness.
“fuck… yeah like that,” abby groans, head falling back, and her knees trembling as she stays upright for you, not even realizing how she’s furthering spreading her thighs, and grinding into your palm.
she felt herself getting red the moment she realized she was already about to cum. but the pleasure was too consuming, and she was too pent up to feel any embarrassment.
the second you slipped your middle finger into her folds, your thumb instantly finding her clit, she toppled over the edge. she released a strained moan, instantly falling against you. she props herself up on the headboard to keep up her weight, and lets her head fall into your neck. she brings one hand down to cover yours, keeping your palm in place as she practically humps your fingers. she rides out her orgasm in shuddering breathes.
you watch her in shock and awe, remaining silent as she started to come down. she pulls your hand away, burying her face further into your neck with a deep sigh.
“did you just..” you begin, and she could practically hear your smile.
“yes..” she groans, rolling her face towards yours and pressing her lips at the base of your throat.
your grin widens as you stare up at the ceiling, stroking her back carefully. abby lifts her head, and secures her arms around your waist.
in a quick movement, you are rolled on top of her, your legs intertwined. she holds you tight to her chest, kissing the top of your head affectionately. you blush as you feel the stickiness between both your legs.
“we’re a mess,” you say softly, smiling up at her.
“leave it for now,” she whispers, fingers tracing shapes on your bare back. “wanna stay like this for a minute.”
you lay there in silence, listening to each others slowing breaths. and in that moment, you knew this was what it was supposed to be all along.
abby’s words come out in a content hum, her fingers affectionately pinching at the soft fat below your ass.
“sorry for making you wait so long, sweet girl.”
“you’re forgiven.”
531 notes · View notes
qierxing · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media
A/N: An interpreted continuation of @shiny-jr wonderful fic. (checks calendar) Uhm, happy three month update to this series AND 1k notes on the first part! I would say sorry for the wait, but I really did need it LOL. Anyway, it's not super obvious, but the timeline is a bit all over the place in this part, because I'm jumping back and forth between past and present.
TW/CW: Immolation, violence, implied stalking+actual stalking, obsessive behavior, mild psychological and body horror, toxic relationships, Yuu uses it/its pronouns, we get a little meta in here, the boys are FIGHTINGGG I. II. | Isekai AU | Yan! Heartslabyul x Reader
“Who are you?” said the Caterpillar.
This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, “I—I hardly know, Sir, just at present—at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.”
“What do you mean by that?” said the Caterpillar, sternly. “Explain yourself!”
“I ca’n’t explain myself, I’m afraid, Sir,” said Alice, “because I am not myself, you see.”
— Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, by Lewis Caroll
Tumblr media
vi. Mourning
It is incredibly hard to get Yuu alone.
Whether it be by the forces of fate or just because so many vie for their attention, there is rarely, if ever, any time when someone is able to spend time personally alongside them. The only exception to this rule is Grim, who was practically the player's companion from the beginning.
So when Ace Trappola manages a rare chance to snag some one on one time with Yuu, he guns for it. Course, he had to time it perfectly. 
It was just another night like any other. Ace and Deuce decided to come over to hang out for a casual sleepover as usual. The four of them did initially start out studying, before the textbooks and worksheets were being abandoned in favor of more exciting things, such as the deck of cards that Ace brought with him.
Sending Deuce and Grim off to get snacks through a won bet over a card game was easy as pie.
"Hey Ace?" 
He hums in response, letting Yuu know he's listening. His nimble fingers shuffle the worn cards, flipping through them with practiced ease. Stacking them up quickly, he wonders if he should try to impress Yuu with another card trick to gain their enthralled praise.
"Do you…like…being my friend?"
The question makes him blink and look up in surprise at Yuu. It feels blasphemous to hear such doubt lingering in their words.
"Why? Scared I'm gonna ditch ya?" He teases.
Yuu doesn't respond, only giving a sheepish smile back. 
"I-It's not like I don't like being friends with you." He tries to keep his cool. "I just-"
Yuu's smile doesn't falter. "It's okay, Ace."
He's reminded of his previous girlfriend in middle school. It was more of a fling than a serious thing, but it's something he remembers vividly. Their breakup, after all, was rather dramatic.
"You're too much, Ace. Sometimes you just take it too far." 
What was even her name? Elizabeth? He could barely even remember, but for some reason, he still recalls the intense way her face was twisted in burning resentment. He tried to bury it in the past. He swore he would never fall in love or get into another relationship, preferring friendships over any kind of romantic trysts.
Now that he looks at Yuu, he already knows he's screwed up big time.
Yuu's gaze is no longer meeting his, instead staring into the fireplace that Grim had so generously set up earlier. The crackling blue flames reflect in their irises and in that moment, dread curls inside Ace's stomach. Yuu doesn't seem right.
"Hey…you okay?" He asks hesitantly, placing a hand on their shoulder.
Yuu doesn't move, still staring at the fire intently. He opens his mouth to ask again, but then they speak.
"If I wasn't acting like myself, would you still like me?" 
Another question out of left field. 
"Even if you somehow grow anemones on your head, Yuu's still Yuu, right?" His heart swells in pride at the way their lips quirk at his inside joke. 
"Yeah…" they murmur back. 
"Wanna see somethin' cool?" he says, holding out a card. Yuu tilts their head questioningly.
"It's the ace of hearts. What about it?"
"It's not just the ace of hearts!" Ace puffs out his cheeks. "Don't you know the meaning of this card?"
Yuu shakes their head.
"It means good news for yourself or someone close. Practically a lucky charm!" Ace waggles his eyebrows suggestively. "So how can things go wrong now that you have me?"
Yuu snorts and shoves him playfully. "Yeah, yeah, okay, Mr. Lucky Charm."
But it works. The foggy clouds clear from Yuu's eyes, finally returning them to the familiar luster he's used to. For the rest of the night, there is no hint of hollowness within them. And Ace hopes he will never see that sight again.
-
He should've known something was up since that night.
When Headmaster Crowley personally makes an appearance at their dorm, he should've realized it then. If there was anything that the old raven hated more, it was having to do more work than usual. 
"That person wasn't an imposter." Crowley says, coughing awkwardly into his fist.
The solemn words echo in his head on end. The rest of the Headmaster's words start to tune out for Ace. Automatically, his legs begin to move on their own. The calls of the others chase after him, but he ignores them, racing out of the lounge and towards the mirror portal.
Because if you didn't hurt Yuu-
-then what had he done?
When he first arrived in NRC, he didn't even know that Ramshackle dorm existed. Not until Yuu came to reside there; until he had to beg for shelter from them when he was chained with that damn collar. He knew that they didn't have to take him in. But they did, and maybe that's why Ace couldn't turn his back after that. 
The building before him is no longer the broken down hovel that he remembers back then. He remembers how the roof was almost caving in and wooden beams were always in danger of collapsing. Each knock on the entrance doors would send cascades of dust upon his head. Now, the walls are painted with a fresh coat of paint, the roof has new shingles, and the place actually looks like a house you could safely live in. 
Bang! Bang! Bang!
"Prefect! Are you there?!" He yells, desperation leaking into his voice. "Please!"
Bang! Bang!
He's gotta be out of his damn mind, acting like some crazy person. But he can't help but be blinded by his fear. So he keeps hitting the door with his fists, praying, hoping, for…well that someone would open the door.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
"Yuu!!" He screams, and his voice echoes around him, mocking his helplessness. His fists are becoming numb from slamming the wood so hard, but he can't stop himself.
"Yuu–!"
"Oi! Ace!!!" A rough hand on his shoulder shoves him back and before he could knock the souvnabit-
"Ace, look at me!"
He's stopped by Deuce's fists meeting his in an even match of strength. Like an illusion broken, Ace stills and yanks his hands back.
There's only heavy breathing in between them for a long while. 
"...they're not here." Ace snaps to look at Deuce, who only closes his eyes in a painful grimace.
"What do you mean, 'not here'?" Ace asks.
Deuce doesn't say anything for a beat.
"What do you mean they're–"
"They're in the infirmary." Deuce's words flow out in a breathless rush. "The Headmaster said that after you ran."
Fuck, he just acted like an idiot then. No wonder no one was responding to his absolute earth shattering door banging and yelling. Then the meaning of Deuce's words begin to sink in. Oh Seven, no–
He turns and before he could even step in the direction of the main building, his arm is yanked back.
He snarls at Deuce. "Let me go! I have to see the prefect!"
"Housewarden is calling you back." Deuce forces out through gritted teeth and closed eyes. "The Headmaster said that…they don't want to see anyone."
And like a fire put out, Ace's anger chokes to flickering embers.
He lets Deuce guide him back, all the way from the Ramshackle dorm, to the mirror portal, and then back to Heartslabyul's lounge where the other three are grimly awaiting them.
Ace half expects to be yelled at once he passes the threshold. Or get some kind of lecture on how he should have better manners than to just run off like that. It would've been just like his housewarden to only care about weird, arbitrary rules when there were other arguably more important matters.
But his housewarden sits silently on his gilded velvet throne with glassy eyes. There's no anger burning behind them, and the freshmen are terrified to see their once proud and fearsome queen reduced to this husk. He almost would rather him back to the state where he was barking out orders for them. The silence in the lounge is deafening.
Ace swears they must be all thinking the same thing.
Please let this be a bad dream.
-
He tried calling you. Texting you. Hell, he even tried messaging you on Magicam! Magicam, of all things! 
Anxiety claws at his heart with each unread message and dial voice tone greeting. He has so much to say, to ask for-
Deuce wasn't faring well on his side either. He had also tried calling and texting you, to no avail. Grim, that traitor, hadn't come back to visit Heartslabyul at all since the incident. Never mind the fact he had only himself to blame for that—he thought at the very least the cat direbeast would have some sense of pity for their friendship and throw them a bone. 
Ace tried two more times to meet you. 
First, during your infirmary stay, when you were still unconscious.
The second time was when you returned to Ramshackle dorm with Grim.
Maybe the Seven were punishing him for his hubris. Or he supposes this is just karma. Because both times, he fails spectacularly at the front door of Heartslabyul. Because of this, he's the reason why Riddle had put them all on house arrest (with the exception of academic reasons, of course).
It's a declaration that would've been met with mutiny from all of them, if it weren't for the fact that even Headmaster Crowley had explicitly forbade anyone from showing up on Ramshackle's doorstep or trying to meet you. So he understands. Really! He does. He's seen how Riddle holes up in his room, muttering to himself while carrying out boxes upon boxes of crumpled paper. When he manages to snag a stray paper that flutters out on garbage day, Ace realizes that Riddle is also just as frenzied trying to reach out to you. Even if he is going about it in an old fashioned way.
He'll chip in to help. If his housewarden is left to his own devices, they’ll all be fossils by the time he sends what he deems a satisfactory letter. 
And the faster they do this, the faster they have a chance of reaching you.
Tumblr media
vii. Embalming
The most horrifying thing is that it doesn't seem to care about dying.
That cursed pile of ceramic shards had disappeared—no, pieced itself back together—and once again, it became the smiling face of Yuu, the being they all knew and used to adore.
Riddle Rosehearts immediately smashed it to pieces again under the weight of his magic.
No one had tried to stop their housewarden. Not even the faceless mobs. Even if they were all alarmed at the erratic behavior of their housewarden, they could not deny the fear of seeing something dead come back alive. With not so much as a dent or wound in them, for that matter.
The third time it happened, Riddle ordered for the remains to be dumped into the school’s incinerator at the highest heat level. Surely, that would be enough. 
He watched as the incinerator roared and shuddered, shaking as if the pits of hell had opened. After a few agonizing minutes, the rumbling stops, and before he can even breathe a sigh of relief, the iron hatches creak open, and out strolls Yuu, perfectly fine and pieced together again.
It's magic. Or some kind of century old curse. Of course it is. After all, it was at a higher power than even Draconia's comprehension. Why he didn't consider the possibility beforehand is something he berates himself now. 
What might be the most damning thing is that it has no fear or suspicion in its face; even after the multiple times it’s been maimed and torn apart. Not like you, who immediately closed themselves off at being hurt so thoroughly. 
The irony isn't lost on him. The temptation of letting the puppet take its place back in favor of just bringing everything back to how it was is something Riddle could not deny. But now that he's actually met you, Yuu just seems more of a shadow of what he remembers during your interactions together.
It has your face. It acts like you.
But it's not you.
When Ace asks after the commotion at the Unbirthday party on how he was able to figure out that it wasn’t [First], he had to take a moment to gather his thoughts. Ace’s face changes into something of disbelief when Riddle merely replies with: “[First] takes their tea with two sugars and a dash of milk.”
“You were so sure only because of that?”
He doesn’t want to think what Ace’s face would look like if he had explained his whole list of reasons how he realized that the puppet wasn’t you. How he soaked up as much as he could when you came over for the tea party. Your expressions, your little habits, the way you fidget…it was all filed away in Riddle's head and later, his private notebook.
But that doesn’t matter now. Now, there’s an even bigger problem than the puppet resurrecting itself.
Grim is missing again.
This alone should've been more worrying than anything for Yuu, but it merely shrugs and says it’s not sure where he scampered off to. He's more than suspicious, of course, but there is no proof, which is infuriating already.
But without Grim, they are missing the key to finding [First]. 
The others raise hell once they hear the news Riddle reports at the weekly housewarden meeting. A new wave of tension washes over NRC and with it, an unprecedented deep disdain for the puppet. It returns back to classes unannounced, making Ace and Deuce rant to him about how weird it is that it’s trying so hard to act like nothing had happened. It attends school events with their camera, drumming up conversations like normal between all of them; despite the fact it gets ignorance or violence in response (depending on the person it greets).
But none of them are really sure on how to interact with Yuu.
The nicer ones, like Trey or Deuce, entertain Yuu with frigidly civil responses, in hopes of boring the puppet and making it flit away to another victim. Meanwhile, he and Ace have finally come together on an agreed opinion: that they would rather die before letting the puppet even think it could take [First]’s place.
“Go away.”
Yuu merely smiles in response to Riddle’s annoyed voice. The puppet leisurely lounges in the chair across the table from him. The school library is vast but empty, his authoritative voice echoing down the long halls. Several floating books flit past above their heads and the chandeliers above flicker with bright candlelight.
“I just wanted to keep you company.” Riddle purses his mouth in disgust. It’s invasive, it’s gross, and most of all it feels wrong to hear those words coming from Yuu. 
“I didn’t ask for your company,” he replies coldly. “Shouldn’t you know that it’s bad manners to bother someone who wants to be left alone?”
“I don’t think you like being left alone, Riddle.” He flinches at the way Yuu’s eyes bore into him. “Well, then again, you sure like to pretend you’re fine, don’t you?”
His hand tightens around the textbook he’s reading about cursed dolls. There would be no point if he brought out his magical pen and reduced it to rubble. But he is tempted, if only to get some peace and quiet for just a few minutes.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Riddle says.
“Hmm…” Yuu hums into its hand, “...then I suppose I will just let you be. What a shame, I had something entertaining to tell.”
“What? What do you mean?” 
Yuu giggles and waves him off. “No, no! You said you didn’t want my company now. Why should I tell you anything?”
He resists the urge to incinerate the book in his hands. “Fine! I would like your company. What is this ‘entertaining’ thing you want to tell me so badly?”
“Hmm…how insincere,” Yuu tilts its head coyly with a smile more akin to a smirk. “But I guess that’s the most I can get.”
“Since you’ve all been driving yourselves crazy, [First] is safe.” The floor feels like it’s been yanked underneath him. The puppet is smiling still, as if it’s all some big joke rather than the revelation it delivered. He can hear his blood roaring through his ears.
“You…” Riddle snarls, face heating into a bright red rage. “What did you do to them?”
It bursts into laughter at his face. 
“Why, I only granted their wish!”
Its laughter is cut short by the sound of ceramic being crushed, and Riddle is left shakily breathing at the pile of shards that used to be Yuu. The puppet’s words churn over and over in his head.
What did you wish for? 
-
It is currently 3:20 on a Wednesday afternoon. 
In his planner, the bullet point neatly penned on the schedule shows ‘Studying for History Test’ in bold blue ink for the time slot. ‘History of the Queendom of Roses’ is laid open on his desk, to the chapter about the local mythos of the area, just as he intended. His notes from lecture are next to it, with several of his stationary needed to jot down annotations. 
And yet, Riddle has yet to touch any of these items or actually adhere to his daily schedule—he’s too distracted by what he should do in order to reach the player.
Riddle's already embarrassed enough, resorting to handwritten letters with the best calligraphy he can muster. He's sent only a couple that passed his satisfaction, and they have all been met with judgemental silence. He’s hunched over another crumpled letter near ripping his hair out when someone knocks on his bedroom door. He quickly shoves the envelope under some textbooks out of frantic instinct.
“Come in.”
A familiar bob of red orange hair pops out behind his door, and Riddle raises an eyebrow at the underclassman who enters.
“Ace? What is it?” Normally, Ace would never be in his room if he could help it. If he was in Riddle’s room, it most likely meant he was either being scolded or punished. And Ace’s eyes are shifting side to side, as if he was trying to sneak his way in. 
“Out with it, Ace.” He’s not in the mood for the underclassman’s shenanigans.
“Housewarden, you’re writing letters to the prefect, aren’t ya?” The question completely takes him off-guard sputtering.
“W-What does t-that have to do with you?” He tries to maintain his composure, but Ace is already giving him a smug smirk for the one up on him. Of all people, it had to be him finding out. 
"I had an idea, Housewarden. Why don't we send them something with the letter?" Riddle blinks in surprise.
“...How smart of you for once, Ace.” It was so simple, yet he marvels at the idea's brilliance. Perhaps there was merit in trying this proposal.
“Hey! What the hell does that mean?!” His underclassman snaps back in a huff. “Whatever, point being, maybe we should switch it up instead of letters all the time.”
He crosses his arms, “And what do you suggest? There’s not much we can really send that hasn't been sent already by other dorms.”
Ace winces. Clearly he didn’t think about the other dorms with more affluent people; people who had more than enough thaumarks and prestige to spend it to appeal to you. Riddle can't blame him either: although he is at the top of the school and his parents are well known mages, it's not like any of that could help him here. All of them, in a sense, were stuck in that situation. 
For once, he starts to resent not having more.
"Ugh, well…maybe it doesn't need to be so fancy, you know?" Ace rubs his neck, face scrunched in frustration. "Like…uh…you know-flowers! People send flowers all the time, yeah?"
This is true. And for Queendom of Roses’ residents, it has become custom to send bouquets with subtle messages left in petals and stems. Although he is a bit loath to admit that he isn’t as well versed in the language of flowers compared to hedgehogs.
"And what do you recommend, Ace?" He asks. "What would be the best flower to send to the prefect in our circumstance?"
"We got all these roses, why not send them that?" Ace responds, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. Riddle coughs in annoyance. 
"Why not just procure some from Sam's shop? Today is Wednesday. Do you not remember rule 228?" He chides. Ace groans, rolling his eyes. 
"Not the weird rules again…"
"Ace."
"Yeeesss Housewarden…" The card soldier mock salutes with a deadpan expression. "I'll see if we can get some flowers at Sam's."
"You better, or else it's–" 
"-off with my head, I got it, I got it." Riddle seethes as Ace cuts him off and dashes out of his room before he could get another word in. So troublesome…
Still, there's nothing to do except wait for his card soldier to report back. He turns back to his desk, bringing out the crumpled letter from its hiding place. Running a hand over the crumpled pages, he attempts to pick up his pen again, but fails as his thoughts begin to wander. 
Riddle only manages to pen a couple legible sentences when his door slams open, banging against the wall. He almost falls out of his chair in shock from the loud noise. How was Ace back so quickly?
"Have you not heard of knocking?!" He scowls, turning around to see Ace panting and sweating as if he had run a marathon.
"Never mind that, Housewarden, I saw them!" Ace shouts. 
“What are you jabbering…” Riddle trails off in realization. “You better not be horsing around, Ace.”
“Do you think I would lie to you about this?” Ace retorts frantically. “I saw them at Sam’s shop working the cashier!”
For a moment, his mind races with this information. If you were working at Sam’s shop, it would explain why you weren’t showing up to classes, let alone in the hallways or rooms of NRC. It’s a clever ruse—classes may be over during this time of day, but nearly all of them were participating in mandatory club activities or study labs. No wonder no one else has caught on to this. Riddle rubs his chin in thought, settling back in his chair.
“What are you going to do now, Housewarden Riddle?” Ace asks hesitantly. His eyes are filled with some kind of anticipation and hope, no doubt wondering if he could get some leeway in his own agenda. Normally, he would go right away as there was no need to hesitate about these kinds of things.
But. Crowley’s stern announcement comes back to his mind and guilt starts to creep in. 
“First, we’ll go with your idea, Ace.” He responds. “The ban hasn’t been lifted, after all.” Ace opens his mouth to protest, but he holds a hand up to interrupt him.
“But if that doesn’t work, then I’m sure even Crowley can’t say anything about coincidences.”
Tumblr media
viii. Calling Hours
“I’m not joking around, you two.” 
There’s very few times that the vice housewarden of Heartslabyul gets truly mad. His patience seems boundless, honed by years of taking care of younger siblings at home and then dealing with rowdy underclassmen in NRC. But even his saint-like patience could only stretch so far.  
“I told you, we didn’t do it!” Ace scowls with furrowed eyebrows and crossed arms. Meanwhile, Deuce is silent by his side, face twisted with conflicting emotions. “You don’t even have proof! You just singled us out just because!”
“Who else was around the kitchen when I left it?” Trey asks, voice starting to rise in anger. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice you two lurking around before?”
The two freshmen began to speak out, voices rambling over each other and cascading into a loud shouting match that was barely intelligible.
“We just wanted to see if we could get something from the fridge, how were we supposed to know someone would-”
“Me and Ace just wanted to bring something along when we deliver the Housewarden’s invitation to-”
"You dumbass, don't just say that out loud-!"
It’s at this moment that Cater Diamond strolls in, takes one look at the mess of the situation and does a 180 back round to the door. But it’s too late, because the interruption is just enough for Ace to sink his hooks into him.
“Cater-senpai, you believe us, right?” Ace shouts after the orange head, making him flinch in place. “You saw us get the order from Housewarden Riddle!”
Cater turns around slowly like a door on rusty hinges, with an expression that screams of not wanting to be involved. "Oh Acey! Uhm, you mean the letter Riddle gave you two-"
"Yes!" Deuce interrupts in earnest, already trying to barrel his way to proving his innocence. "Housewarden Riddle entrusted us to deliver the tea party invitation ourselves personally." 
Cater turns to Trey, who is rubbing the bridge of his nose, eyes closed with a tiredness that seems comically reminiscent of an old man. "Well, I'm not sure what this is all about, Trey, but maybe you should cut 'em some slack and let it go."
The other senior nods in reluctant agreement and the two freshmen all but nearly trample over each other trying to run from the tension filled room. But they're stopped in their tracks when Trey calls out again.
"Wait, you two." The duo slowly looks back with cautious eyes.
"You wanted to bring something to the prefect, didn't you?" Trey tilts his head to one of the many strange topsy turvey cabinets in the kitchen. "I have some leftover cookies that I made yesterday. Take them. I'm sorry for accusing you guys like that."
Ace and Deuce exchange confused glances, and although Ace looks away in denial, Deuce nods in gratitude. They leave the kitchen just as chaotically, this time with the aroma of lavender following them.
A brief silence follows their absence, while Cater raises an eyebrow at Trey.
"Sooo…care to spill the tea?"
"Don't even start." Trey groans.
Cater seats himself on one of the stools near the counter, waiting. Trey busies himself with cleaning the stoves and counter, trying not to meet Cater's eyes. Silence falls, but it's with none of the comfort that Cater is familiar with. Giving up, he turns to his phone, refreshing his Magicam dash mindlessly. This continues for a good while until finally—
A low sigh, then– "Somebody took my candied violets."
Cater looks up from his phone. Another beat passes, and he realizes it's not a passing statement. 
"It's not like you to get this bent out of shape over your ingredients going MIA." Cater shifts his face onto the elbow meeting pristine marble while shoving his phone away. "You sure that one of the froshes didn't just end up taking them thinking they were for everyone?"
Trey lets out a rough guffaw. "You know better than I do that the others don't touch our stuff."
Cater taps his fingers on the polished white granite, hands already itching to grab his phone and check for updates, but he restrains himself. "That's…mostly true."
"That can only mean one of you guys has taken it." The hairs on Cater's neck raise at Trey's tone.
"Hey now," Cater grins, raising his hands in mock surrender, "you heard it from those two. I was with Riddle when he gave them that invitation."
"I know." Cater's fingers twitch as Trey carelessly tossed aside the rag used to clean the counter into a bucket. The soggy fabric makes a hollow sound against the wood, echoing rather loudly in contrast. "But Riddle would never do such a thing either."
Cater resists the urge to roll his eyes. It's true that their cute housewarden would hardly dare to stoop to thievery, but Trey's blind faith in him can be annoying at times. After all, didn't their little teapot tyrant threaten to kill the prefect at one point?
He supposes that was his fault, though.
"Then it's back to square one." Cater shrugs. "Besides, what were you even planning to do with them if you weren't gonna eat it?"
The baker runs a hand through his mussed forest green hair and frowns. "I was going to bake a cake with them as a peace offering to the prefect."
Cater's mouth forms an 'o' shape in realization. "That's pretty big brain."
"Yeah, but look how that turned out."
"It's fine~you were able to at least send cookies this time round." Cater finally cracks, digging into his pocket for the familiar grooves of his phone case. "All's well that ends well, right?"
Trey doesn't respond and Cater is too engrossed in his phone to look up to see his expression. He slides off the stool naturally, tapping through recent posts and comments, eyes laser focused on recent posts on his dash. 
"Cater." 
There it is. It's the most recent story reel by Ace(according to the time stamp, about two minutes ago). It's an inconspicuous black out picture with several cute teapot and teacup stickers decorating the screen. The banner message is short and sweet: 'Dorm tea party bout to get real this month 🤔😶'
"Cater." Cater's attention snaps back and towards his friend, who gazes at him with dark eyes.
"Please don't lie to me next time."
With that, Cater watches as his long time friend finally leaves the kitchen. 
Thank the Seven he did. He might have been a decent actor, but Trey has been with him through thick and thin, and it's given him the annoying ability to see through his tells.
Really now. Trey knows that he hates sweets. Shouldn't that be enough of an alibi?
It's not fair that Trey already has everything to set him up for a good relationship with you. Even if they're all set back by their violent reaction to you arriving in this world, he's sure it would only take a couple tries with Trey offering genuine heartfelt food to get to you.
It's just not fair. 
Isn't he fun to hang out with? He consistently gets compliments online for his suave looks and easy personality. So why couldn't he compare to-
He shakes his head. There's no point in overthinking it now. Cay Cay #3 had easily taken the cutely decorated jar of violets and discarded it in the dorm dumpster. Like candy from a baby.
He knows it's petty. But for once, he feels much better, knowing that he upset Trey's original plans to ensnare you.
Now, he once again checks Ace's story reel and screenshots it, while quickly pulling up the search bar. He just needs to level the playing field.
-
There can only be one fake bitch in this house and Cater has had enough of the competition.
“I wasn’t aware that you were going to visit me, Cater.” 
The puppet tilts its head with a warm smile, but there’s a frosty undercurrent to the greeting. It’s clear that he’s not welcome, if the way it’s blocking the doorway of Ramshackle has anything to say.
“Yeah, I ended up losing something here. You mind if I look for it, Yuu-chan?” Cater asks innocently. “Promise it won’t take too long.”
“Hm, sure. But I don’t think you’ll find what you’re looking for.” Yuu's grin is sharp as a razor blade. It knows what he’s here for and it’s definitely taunting him. That little–
“Well, it doesn’t hurt to look~” He responds back airily. His fist curls around his phone in his pocket tightly. The puppet shrugs and walks off, leaving him standing in the doorway.
It’s been a while since he’s personally been at Ramshackle dorm. Cater remembers how Ace complained about the house being a real fixer upper, but then again, he doesn’t remember much of that, since Yuu always spent most of the time at Heartslabyul dorm. The renovations certainly made it much more pleasing to the eye and more importantly, livable by HOA standards.
There’s nothing to write home about the living room. The coffee table is bare and there’s no wrinkles in the sofa cushions at all. It’s a little eerie—as if no one even lived in the house in the first place. The only sign of living was perhaps the fact it is clean of dust or dirt. 
Nothing in the kitchen either. He gives a wayward glance to the second floor, searching for any signs of movement. Couldn’t hurt to be thorough. 
Rows of tall doors pass by as Cater opens each one of them. A storage closet, a spare room, an electric cabinet, another storage area–it all blurs by after the fourth door. There really is nothing, as if the whole house has been wiped of any trace of you. He's about to toss in the towel when an old, dusty memory crops up. His little freshman, Ace. Cater swears he had been making fun of Yuu for seeing strange things at night. Something about a mouse?
Right, their room! Why didn't he think of looking there?  
His feet take him rapidly from memory to the door that was the third from last in the hallway in the east wing. He manages to wrench the door open to see a regular bedroom, bed sheets barely stirred. Before he can even put one foot in, a throat clears behind him. 
"It's rather rude to go into other people's bedrooms, don't you think?"
You got to be kidding me. Cater turns around with the fakest smile plastered across his face. Yuu looks unamused, tapping its foot impatiently against the wooden floorboards. 
"Just wanted to make sure, y'know?" Cater replies. Yuu gives a tight smile back. It goes around him and shuts the door with a hard thunk.
"Ever heard about how curiosity killed the cat?" 
Cater shakes his head in surrender, "I guess I need to look elsewhere for my lost item."
The entrance doors slam shut behind him hard enough to startle several birds out the dead trees in the yard. Cater doesn't bother giving a look back as he strides out of the yard and past the gated fence surrounding the property. That glimpse was enough and much more. Cater smirks to himself, taking his phone out and sending a quick text message to the group chat. Yes, curiosity may have killed the poor kitty cat…
But satisfaction brought it back.
Tumblr media
viiii. Eulogy
It might surprise people to know that Trey Clover's first real friend is Che'nya Pinker.
That's not to say that Trey had trouble getting along with others as a kid, oh no. Everyone in his neighborhood agreed that he was a very sweet boy, who looked out for others around him. When he wasn’t taking care of his baby sister, he would be asked by other parents around the block to look after their own children, whether that be playing soccer games with the more energetic kids or patty cakes with the quiet ones. So it isn’t a stretch to say that he’s friends with nearly everyone. But Che’nya was a special case.
Their first meeting is still burned into Trey’s memory.
“You see it too, don’cha?” The boy had greeted him while swinging upside down on a low hanging tree branch. Trey had half a mind to scold him for the dangerous action before he actually looked at him. 
The first thing that takes Trey off guard is that he has eyes. They’re a shiny yellow, just a shade lighter than his. His pupils are long and thin, not round like his at all. He supposes it must be like a cat’s pupils—for he’s never seen anything like it. Then it’s his unique colorful hair, streaks of light pink intermingling with dark purple, making a strange striped pattern across the chopped uneven hair. Trey faintly recalls a certain cat from their local legends, whose fur boasted those very same colors. 
“...What are you talking about?” Trey eyes him warily. The cat boy gives a cheeky grin. He vanishes and then reappears in front of him, albeit with missing arms.
“The people around us who wear the faces of strangers.” Trey’s skin gets goosebumps at the way the boy observes him. He is not looking through Trey, but at him. Their eyes are directly making contact. “But you’re different. You have the face of a friend.”
“And what do you mean by that?” Trey furrows his eyebrows. The boy's grin stretches wider in response. (His teeth were rather blunter than expected, but his canines were pointed.)
“You’re strange. I’m stranger. Together, we can both be strange,” the cat boy chirps back lightheartedly. “The name’s Artemiy Artemiyevich Pinker. But you can just call me Che’nya.”
Something in his mind had clicked then. It’s hard to explain the feeling–just that it felt like a puzzle piece put into place. He hadn’t known it then, but at that point, the hands of fate had moved. 
Whatever the case may be, Trey was grateful to have Che’nya. Because now he knows that he isn’t crazy; not when he couldn’t see his parent’s faces nor his baby sister’s or even his other friends'. Che’nya too, only shrugs his shoulders when Trey asks him about his grandfather.
“The old man? Yeah, they say I have his eyes, but I wouldn’t know.” The statement is so casually delivered that Trey can hardly believe he’s talking about his only living relative and guardian. “His face does not mirror mine in my mind.”
Staring down at you, shivering with cold and hunger, he feels something churn in him again, just like that fateful day. 
He has his orders from Riddle: bring in the imposter alive. Trey isn’t a violent sort and nor does he enjoy boasting his strength over others like a sadist. And he cannot deny the feeling of cold rage that day when Yuu shuts down, fear inundating him that he may never, ever, get an explanation for the world he was born in. Why he and Che’nya were special, why he had to witness Riddle suffer under his mother–what was it all for?
Your face. There is no blank stretched skin—he can see your wide open eyes, bloodshot and fixated on him. Your mouth too, shaped in a pained grimace, lips bruised and bloodied from previous skirmishes. Surely, surely, there must be a reason why you were here. Why you bear the same face as Yuu. You hold all the answers, if you would just cooperate.
“Hey, I’m not gonna hurt you,” Trey tries reaching out, but you scurry back into the hedges, squinted eyes wary and untrusting. You remind him of a frightened hedgehog, prickly spines bristled and body curled in to protect yourself. “I just wanna talk.”
“Go away, please,” the imposter quietly pleads. “Just pretend you never saw me! I swear I didn’t even know how I got here…”
Trey swallows hard. 
“Just come quietly. Please.” He is the one begging now. “It’ll be easier for all of us.”
“For who?” The imposter barks a sharp laugh. Trey doesn't miss the way they wince in pain from their wounds. “For me? Or for you?”
He doesn’t have an answer. The sound of running footsteps has him turning, and when he looks back, you’re already gone. The only traces that you were there at all were faint splotches of red blood and crushed grass.
Trey wonders if this, too, was meant to be fate.
Trey’s been lovingly dubbed as someone reliable. Some consider him to be an older brother figure due to his nagging and supportive care. It's ingrained in him at this point from the years he’s spent playing babysitter. Trey knows the students around him are not his younger siblings who need constant watching (although their actions say otherwise).
But he worries.
Just a bit. Trey knows better than anyone that you can take care of yourself just fine. He's seen how you carry yourself within those hedges. 
It's just that, he doesn't know if you're okay right now. How could he know? You've been silent even in the face of Riddle's unceasing letters. So of course he's just a bit unsure if you're actually okay, or if you don't trust them enough to say so.
Trey finds himself more frustrated with the ban they're under. Not because of the inability to see you, although that is part of it. No, it's because Riddle has managed to skirt around that rule to desperately grab onto you, and that was just enough to wear you down. 
He thinks if he was bold enough, he could've tried.
As if it wasn't enough, even Ace and Deuce find their own way to get to you, snatching up the chance to deliver the monthly tea party invitation. It takes everything in Trey to clench his teeth and let go—even when Cater ruins his plans. He can't get mad here because it won't get him any closer to you. He has to be the bigger person.
If there is one thing Trey knows about Cater, it's that he absolutely hates getting sweaty or dirty. If Cater wasn’t trying to get out of running those P.E laps, he would absolutely be shirking any extra work assigned. So he's more than suspicious when Cater bounces up to him with a grin saying he could help cover Trey's science club duty of watering plants. 
Trey likes to think he can tell when Cater’s lying. His close friend's happy go lucky demeanor often throws off others, but he’s been with him long enough to pick out his subtle tells. His eyebrow twitches when he’s particularly anxious and the corner of his mouth tends to perk up if he’s feeling particularly daring or desperate. Trey figures this must be something that even he can’t trust Trey with, if he’s going out of his way to take on extra work.
So Trey considers this repayment for letting him take his violets. He watches as Cater dashes off in labwear, waiting for a minute, before following after him. His duty was in the tropical zone of the botanical garden, so he has no worries even if he does lose him. 
He nearly does a double take when he sees you walking in the courtyard hallways by yourself. And before Trey could rethink his actions, he follows behind you, eyes not leaving your form for a minute. 
You look like you haven't slept well. There's dark circles under your eyes. He hopes you're brushing your teeth. There’s no signs of bandages or wounds that he remembers you in, which he supposes is one relief. Even if he so desperately wishes to cook you a proper meal—you look like you could fall over at any minute.
The realization your path is leading to the botanical garden comes just as Trey catches sight of the glass dome. He wants to rush in after you, but he stops himself just as the door swings close behind your form.
Cater is in there. It all makes sense now. Trey has to give it to him—Cater really does know every little happening in the school. But Trey knows him well too—and if he had to guess, even if Cater manages to talk to you, it won’t end pretty. His inability to be genuine will definitely only set you on edge and less likely to reciprocate. 
The waiting game he plays is nothing compared to the silence he had to endure before. Trey doesn’t have to look to know that you’re the one slamming open the doors to the botanical gardens, labwear dirtied and face twisted in a frustrated anger. He watches as you enter Professor Crewel’s office again and after some time, pop back out in completely different clothes. 
His chest tightens in longing as he continues to follow after (more from an instinctual drive now, rather than deliberate), trying to keep you in sight within the stone pillars. He wants to call out after you so badly and ask you what’s the matter, if you need help with anything. If there was anything he could do to make you forgive him for watching you bleed out on dewy grass. The sun is about to set, warm golden rays flickering between pillars and casting long shadows. Trey’s so enamored with following after you that he flinches back when the sun directly shines into his eyes, blinding him momentarily. 
He barely manages to get a hold of himself. By the time his eyes blink away the blurry blots, he realizes you’re looking back at him. His breath stops. Your eyes are wide and frightened as they are that day, and his heart drops to his stomach. Both of you don’t move, merely staring at each other. 
You finally break the connection, turning around and quickly walking away. Trey gasps, remembering to breathe, lungs screaming for air. 
What was that?
Tumblr media
x. Entombment
It's a nice sunny afternoon in the Heartslabyul domain. There weren't any track club activities nor dreaded remedial lessons. If anything, this free time would have been perfect for a nap. He hadn’t been up to any large shenanigans like this since the whole fiasco of [First] and Yuu. 
“I don’t think this is a good idea.” 
Ace scoffs, rolling his eyes. “You got a better one, loosey Deucy? If we don’t do this now, then all of us are stuck until Housewarden grows a pair of balls.” 
Deuce Spade bites his lips. “I just think there might be a better way around this.”
“Yeah? And the sky is blue. Keep going, we don't have much time." Ace cranes his neck to the side of the bush, eyes warily looking out to make sure the coast is clear. 
Deuce grumbles but continues plucking, some roses already tucked within his arms. They chose a bush the furthest away from the dorm, in a hidden corner where no arched windows could overlook them. It was necessary, because today was Wednesday, and the Housewarden would have their heads for plucking his beloved roses out of all the flora.
His fingers are bleeding already, finger pads torn from repetitive tugging on the thorns and stems. They couldn’t afford taking any of the gardening tools, lest they be questioned for what they were doing with them. Still, even he had his limits.  
“Why is it that you aren’t helping at all?” Deuce snipes at Ace, who scowls back. 
“You want to be caught by someone, genius?” Ace replies snarkily. “Someone has to keep look out.”
“Doesn’t explain why I have to do all the work.” 
Ace rolls his eyes, deigning not to bother engaging in another futile argument that would lead to nowhere. Deuce is about to cut off a particularly stubborn rose when Ace pipes up again.
“...Did they ever respond to your texts?” Deuce only deflates in response. Ace’s mouth slants crookedly in an annoyed grimace. The two of them know full well what the answer to that was.
“Damn that cat…” Ace mutters bitterly under his breath. Deuce doesn’t say anything. He too, is finding it hard to not feel petty towards Grim right now. Weren’t they friends? He could’ve afforded to help them out somehow. But it’s no use. Their texts went unanswered. Headmaster had banned them from stepping foot onto Ramshackle grounds. It’s like you had closed everything off from them.
It’s why he doesn’t protest this plan, as reckless as it is. He’s not any better than Ace—he needs to see you. He and Ace were your closest friends, your first friends! He loved you. That had to mean something. If it didn’t, then…
“I think this is enough.” Deuce adjusts the messy bouquet in his hands, attempting to hold them without crushing the delicate petals. Ace looks over and nods in approval. He takes out crimson ribbons and a silk handkerchief and begins tying it around the stems in a very artful way that has Deuce’s eyebrows raising.
“Where did you get that?” Ace smirks in response at the interrogative question.
“Don’t worry about it.” Ace snatches the bouquet from his hands and slips in an envelope with the housewarden’s seal. Deuce silences the questions on the tip of his tongue. For whatever Ace has planned, he’s rather not know anything more troublesome than necesscary. 
What he failed to account for was getting caught. Housewarden Riddle was beyond furious for what they did. It was only by Trey and Cater's gentle reminders that what they did was for all of them, that he only calmed down.
Deuce supposes three days with the collar is better than a week. Even if it is a heavy thing that weighs on his very soul.
He only hopes that you don't notice the thorns they forgot to trim.
It’s a given that although Trey is the right hand of Heartslabyul, Cater is considered the left hand of Housewarden Riddle. It’s been that way since Deuce himself enrolled in NRC, and possibly even further back. He hadn’t understood it quite then, but after some time, he realized something that he should’ve realized a long time ago. 
To never get on Cater’s bad side.
There are events where the five of them gather outside of Yuu’s influence. Administrative meetings, monthly tea parties, and the occasional casual hang out. When you’re aware of how much of your life is affected from being not like the others, it’s common to side with those who are like you. 
Cater had called the meeting this time. It was a bit out of the blue, at least for him and Ace. It’s only when they’re all gathered around the playing table in the lounge, not another soul in sight, when Deuce realizes Cater has that gleam in his eye. One that screams that he got a viral lead on a hot topic. His upperclassman must have been investigating.
"Remember how mirrors are considered to be portals?"
Deuce's neck prickles.
"Your point, Cater?" Their housewarden is impatient, not aware of what the question poses. His arms are crossed with his eyebrows furrowed in a frustrated glare. Deuce realizes that he must have been the one to send out Cater.
"There's a mirror in the prefect's bedroom." Deuce blurts out, and Riddle’s steely eyes snap over in surprise. Cater nods in affirmation.
"Yeah. I only managed a glimpse, but Yuu covered their mirror." Cater says. 
“Hold on, you went into the prefect’s bedroom? Scratch that, to Ramshackle?” Ace asks. “Why are we just getting this now?”
“Because I just came back Acey,” Cater flicks his forehead, causing Ace to exclaim in pain. Trey smiles faintly at the action. “Also Riddle told me to keep it confidential—you two would have ran straight out if we had told you.” 
Deuce sheepishly rubs his neck at Cater’s pointed sentence. Riddle rubs his chin in thoughtfulness, eyebrows still furrowed. 
“But there isn’t anything magical about that mirror, is there?” Riddle asks, skepticism coating his tone. “The puppet could have simply covered that mirror out of an odd preference.”
“Acey, didn’t you mention that Yuu always mentioned seeing things in that mirror?” Cater responds, deflecting the question upon his underclassmen. Ace straightens as he and Deuce both exchange a glance.
“Yeah…something about a mouse in their mirror,” Ace answers slowly, face scrunched in an effort to recall memories. “I always thought it was just crazy dreams but…”
“Yuu was always insisting about it,” Deuce chimes in. “Said the mouse speaks to them and everything—that there was another world it was in.”
Trey and Cater share a furtive glance together before looking at Riddle. Their housewarden seems to be taking in the new information, closing his eyes in thought. For a while, no one dares to speak. 
“What do you think, Riddle?” Trey finally breaks the heavy silence, and Deuce breathlessly releases a sigh. Leave it to Trey to speak for all of them.
“If the mirror in the bedroom is magical, then that changes things.” Riddle pronounces with conviction. “If that mirror potentially holds a dimension, then that would be the perfect place to trap someone.”
“Cater.” The orange head straightens to attention at the stern command. “Find a way to get the puppet out of the dorm for a while. We’ll need to look into this ourselves.”
Cater smirks and a chill runs down Deuce’s spine. While Cater still has an easy going look, his jade green eyes have darkened with a sadistic gleam. 
“Roger that, housewarden!” His upperclassman chirps, already taking out his phone. 
Riddle is already barking orders that each of them are to take up within this mission of theirs. But Deuce nearly misses his task, eyes stuck on Cater’s face as he scrolls his phone.
He catches a glimpse of a photo before it’s quickly clicked away. Deuce snaps back to Riddle just in time for Cater to shoot him a wary glare, checking to make sure no one else was looking. 
Deuce is very glad he is working together with Cater.
803 notes · View notes
cinnamostar · 3 months
Text
four dates to fall in love
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
part one. part two. part three. part four (here). part five (coming soon).
pairing : hyunjin x gn!reader
summary : after a two year long unspoken hatred, hyunjin and you are forced to be costars in a romantic series, but when it comes to filming any of the romance scenes, you both utterly fail and are unable to get through your lines. the director threatens to take your roles away if you two aren't able to get past this within the next week, which spawns the genius idea from both your managers: can you learn to (fake) fall in love in seven dates and save your careers?
wc : 2.7k
cw : actor!au, enemies to lovers ?!, slowburn , not proofread, blood/knife ments (no injury, theyre just cooking lol), emotional vulnerability
a/n : welcome to part four. the slow burn is absolutely slowburning. things are happening. i dont have much to say other than it being hard for me to write, but pls let me know what you think!!!!!! likes and reblogs appreciated!
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
“It went well?” Chan exclaimed in shock over your speakerphone.
You hum in agreement, confusion in the forefront of your mind, “Surprisingly, it went better than I could have ever imagined,” a sigh escapes you, “I don’t know, it’s weird.”
“Well, the fact he even apologized caught me off guard in the first place.”
You laugh lightly, “Oh, trust me, I still am having a hard time believing it. It’s been so long of him being an asshole to me, so seeing him like this was… very different. A little scary, if I’m being honest.”
“Yet it still went well even though it was kinda weird?”
“I mean, it was really awkward at the start which was annoying, but I can’t blame him. He genuinely did look like he felt bad, so it probably was hard to be in his position,” you think aloud, “But it was getting too much and he was putting a damper on the mood, so I tried to make him more comfortable, which worked. Then we started talking, and I don’t really know how to say it, but it felt… really nice? It made me realize that maybe I did miss our friendship.”
“Well, you guys did get along really well before everything happened. To be honest, I thought there was something more going on before then,” Chan recalls, “Though, his sudden change made me realize I was way off.”
Your eyebrows furrow at Chan’s comment, “Something more? Like romantic?”
He chuckles from the other end of the line, “Yeah, I thought something was going on between you two. You guys just seemed to click really well, better than any other costar you’ve had in the past, even to this day. Lowkey thought it was going to be a Tom Holland and Zendaya moment.”
“Jesus,” you mutter, “Definitely not that, I never thought of him that way.”
“You say that, but I remember the heart eyes you used to look at him with,” he teases.
“Oh, shut up. I did not. Besides, that’s not what’s important in the present time!”
He rolls his eyes, even though you couldn’t see it, you could feel it in his tone, “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. You’re right though, it is a difficult situation for both of you to be in. Other than it being uncomfortable, how are you feeling about it?”
You let out a heavy sigh, “I mean, part of me is happy to be able to have a normal relationship with him, but… I’m still really mad at him for how he treated me. I don’t think it’s something I can let go of yet.”
“That’s okay. You have time to process all of that, no one is rushing you.”
“I know, but for a moment yesterday, I kinda forgot about all that. I had fun with him, and I want to keep having fun, but then I remember everything and feel so… upset that I am even letting him back into my life, even if it's for a bit.”
“Huh…” Chan muddles over your words for a moment, “That is quite the dilemma. I think you have every right to be upset at him, but I also think it’s okay if you miss your friend. I just think you have to figure out what kind of boundaries you want to set for yourself then. I think you can still have a nice time with him without him earning your forgiveness just yet. He can be a surface level friend or acquaintance until he proves himself trustworthy again.”
“You’re right, but I just didn’t like how easily it slipped my mind. Part of me feels like I should still be more on guard and not as friendly, but he makes that hard too.”
“Y/N, it’ll be okay,” he reassures, “You’ll figure it out, but it’s perfectly fine for you to have fun, while still having boundaries, okay?”
You sigh, still a bit unconvinced by his words, “I guess…”
“I know it’s hard, I can’t imagine what it's like to be in your position, but I promise it will be okay.”
“I’ll believe you just this once!”
“You say that every time, but sure, just this once. Call you tomorrow, alright?”
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
It was the next evening, and you were anxiously waiting in your apartment for Hyunjin to arrive. You weren’t sure how today was going to go, and the idea Changbin had for you both today made you nervous, as it felt as a far more intimate setting than the previous dates. Although, you couldn’t entirely argue with his logic. Today, he suggested that you both cooked a simple dinner with each other, the idea being that it would help you both learn how to work together towards a common goal, which was dinner in this case.
Despite you being able to understand the logic behind his idea, it was incredibly intimidating to think about having Hyunjin in your own home, especially considering the sudden change in dynamic in your relationship. Even then, you didn’t just let anyone into your home, as you only ever had your closest friends come over for small hang outs, so this was far outside of your comfort zone, but perhaps that was a good thing. Maybe going out of your comfort zone with Hyunjin would only help you both succeed the next time you found yourselves on set, and perhaps something as intimate as cooking together would help you both ease into your roles.
A knock on the door wakes you from your thoughts, prompting you to shuffle hurriedly towards the door to open it for none other than Hyunjin. He greets you with a gentle smile, bowing his head slightly as you let him in wordlessly. There is an awkwardness that hangs in the atmosphere, indicating that you both were uncomfortable with today’s plans and he, too, was likely struggling to find the right words to say.
You take a deep breath in, almost as if you were catching your breath, “Welcome to my place!” You cringe internally at yourself, unable to handle the intensity of the awkwardness between you two and how poor your attempt was to disperse it.
“It’s really nice!” he compliments, standing in place by the entrance after removing his shoes.
“Thank you,” you respond, “Uhm, just follow me, the kitchen is this way. And all the ingredients are ready for us to use, Changbin had them delivered.”
Hyunjin follows you into the kitchen, his eyes taking in every detail around him, filling him with delight to see how characteristic of you the apartment was, it being a perfect representation of your personality. “What are we making again? I don’t think Changbin filled me in.”
“Oh, we’re just making curry udon! It’s something I’ve made before and it’s not too hard. My bad, I didn’t tell Changbin what we were making which is probably why he didn’t tell you. All I did was send him an ingredient list.”
“I forgot you like cooking,” he replies as he stops in your kitchen, quickly turning to the sink to wash his hands.
You hum in response, washing your hands after him, “I think it can be relaxing, but uh, if you want you can start with chopping the carrots and potatoes? I’ll handle the onion and garlic.” Hyunjin nods and follows your orders without much trouble, or so you think, until you turn around and see him holding the knife in a very precarious and questionable manner. Your eyes widen as you rush towards, “Oh my god, that is not how you should be trying to cut a potato. Have you not chopped a veggie in your entire life?”
He smiles sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders, “Listen, I don’t do this cooking thing often,” a gentle chuckle leaving him as he takes amusement in your concern, his heart thumping over the sudden proximity you both now shared.
“I-,” you sigh with a baffled expression, “Okay, let me just show you because I am not having you accidentally bleeding out all over my counter.” 
“You’re more worried about your counters than me?”
“Shut up,” you suppress a laugh before softly whispering, “Here, just do it like this,” you reach over and lay your hands atop of his without second thought, guiding him on how to position his hands without the risk of injury. Once you’ve become aware of how your bodies are pressed up against each other from the side, you jump away in an instant, “That’s it! That’s all you gotta do.” You’re quick to avoid eye contact with him, turning towards your own cutting board as you chastise yourself for being so careless with him at that moment.
Hyunjin’s face and ears were soon dusted with a soft pink, heat rushing across his body over the interaction that seemed so natural, but manages to mutter out a quiet ‘thank you’ before trying his knife skills out once more. Despite your momentary embarrassment, you are sure to take sneaky peaks at Hyunjin to make sure he was handling himself well. You move on from chopping and turn your attention to seasoning the chicken while Hyunjin was still focused on the vegetables, going at a leisurely place which you much preferred in this case. 
The rest of cooking goes on in silence aside from the occasional instruction or question, small witty jokes, and touches that seemed to linger more than necessary, but perhaps that was your imagination. Once everything was done, you both sat across from each other, admiring the fruits of your shared labor that was now plated in front of you both. 
“It looks really good!” Hyunjin comments enthusiastically, a wide, toothy grin spreading across his face. 
“It does, right? Let’s eat!”
Neither you miss a beat, taking a huge bite of the udon noodles, letting out a delighted groan over just how flavorful the food was. “Woah,” Hyunjin groans out, surprise at how well tonight had gone thus far with the added victory of food, “Holy shit, this is so yummy.”
“Mhmm,” you mumble out between slurping noodles, “This is better than when I make it on my own.”
“It’s the Hyunjin special that you’ve been missing this whole time,” he says matter-of-factly with a smug smile.
“You’re being pretty bold for a guy who just learned how to hold a knife today,” you tease, playfully sticking your tongue out. Your eyes catch each other for a moment between your fits of giggles, time stopping for the briefest second possible before you both avert your eyes out of nerves. What was that? You thought frantically to yourself, suddenly hyper aware of the strange warmth in your stomach that was also accompanied with the feeling of your stomach dropping. It was an uncomfortable feeling, one you didn’t know how to explain or ever experienced before, but you did know you didn’t want that combination of symptoms again for whatever emotion this was. You clear your throat, taking a sip of water as if it would wash away the discomfort, “I guess we are pretty good, huh? Maybe our acting project has hope if we are able to work this well together,” you joke, a very poor, if not disastrous, attempt to alleviate the awkwardness that seemed to follow you everywhere these days.
Your words stab Hyunjin in the heart, the guilt he had once forgotten was knocking at the door of his heart, forcing itself in without his permission. His entire demeanor deflated the moment those words left your lips, his heart writhing at the reminder that the only reason this situation existed was because of him and his blinding stupidity. Yet, here you are, warmly inviting into your home and treating him as if he was an old friend of the past, as if he had never wounded you and he couldn’t help but wonder if he was deserving of any of this. He stood still, gulping down his food before faintly whispering a hushed apology.
“I’m sorry.”
Your head snaps back up, your eyebrows furrowing with worry once you sense the sadness lacing his trembling voice, his head now turned downwards as if he was trying to mask his state. Perhaps the joke was a little too soon, you thought, now it being your turn to feel bad. “Ah, Hyunjin, I’m sorry-” you apologize hurriedly, “It was just a joke, please don’t take it too seriously. I’m sorry.”
He forces a smile, waving his hand as if to tell you to not worry about it, the words at the forefront of his tongue, but caught in his throat due to the heaviness sinking in his chest. Once again, shame paralyzed his body, the warm sensation behind his eyes reminding him to blink, reminding him he shouldn’t be so selfish in his pain when he was the cause of so much discomfort. Was any of this okay? Was any of this right? He wonders to himself, still unable to find forgiveness within himself. 
“Hyunjin,” you speak tenderly, your hand reaching across the table to touch his arm, grounding him back in the present, “I promise, it’s okay.” You knew that last bit was a lie, but it was for his own sake and comfort at this point. His treatment, his behavior, his attitude – none of it was ever okay, but you decided to ignore your own feelings and prioritize his. For the first time in two years, you cared about how he felt, you finally cared how your words harmed him, when before all you ever aimed for was a strike to his heart, but today, you chose to comfort his heart that your words unintentionally wounded. Although, your own heart and conscience briefly argued for a moment, one wanting to tend to his hurt, while the other demanded you let him rot in his misery, insisting he deserved it for what he had put you through. It was a tug-of-war you weren’t enjoying, you had almost wished you two remained in your heated hatred for one another and that nothing ever changed. Despite what your mind screamed at you, you chose to listen to your heart, you chose him over yourself.
He takes a deep breath in, trying to collect himself before speaking, “I just–,” a heavy exhale escapes him, “I’m just sorry. I just feel really, really, really bad for everything, but I also feel like I’m not allowed to feel bad when I was the one to hurt you.”
His eyes met yours, the glassiness of his eyes conveying the depth of his guilt, “Oh, Hyunjin,” you whisper apologetically, “Listen, I won’t lie to you, what you did was shitty. You did hurt me, but that is in the past. You feeling bad about it means you’re a good person, right? It means you’re human and that you care, but I don’t want you to let your guilt overwhelm you either.”
It was a genuine response in a moment of sudden vulnerability, your response taking him aback, but the words temporarily placating his never ending thoughts, “I guess, but… I don’t know if I can forgive myself,” he mumbles.
“You don’t have to yet, but you can learn to eventually,” you reply, “I understand it’s hard, and even I still need more time to do that myself, but I do think you deserve to be kind to yourself.” None of that was a lie, you did truly believe he was deserving of his own compassion, but his culpability helped you see the humanity in him. The spitefulness you once knew him for nowhere to be found, but instead there was only a guilt-ridden man who carried a world of humiliation. “I think I can learn to do so soon, too. Spending time with you helps. Besides, I did miss being friends with you if I’m being honest.”
The last sentence causes him to perk up, a small, satisfied smile playing onto your lips, “Really?” he asks, his ears barely believing your words, but his heart was swelling with hope. His eyes search yours, he can’t help but notice how they glimmer under the soft lowlights of your home, and for some reason, he finds warmth and comfort in them. He knows he can trust you, he knows you are being as candor as possible.
“Really, I mean it.”
“I missed it too.”
“Well, I’ll do my best to learn to trust you again. I’ll learn to forgive you eventually, just for now, it still hurts.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll learn too.”
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
taglist: @kopikokrunch @icouldntcareless22 @kidrauhlschik @hhwangsmoon @lestayzone @vixensss @cupidcures @sleepyxxhead @pinkpunkdynamite @kaiyaba taglist cut off at 20 people :)
295 notes · View notes
cryinhell · 9 months
Text
so no one asked for this, but here's a post about my favorite Hazbin Hotel ships ( romantic and platonic) and what I hope they explore with them in the show.
1) Huskerdust/Angelhusk/Casino Hearts (Romantic)
Tumblr media
Obviously, I got to start with my favorite romantic pairing in the fandom. Angel and Husk are my favorite characters in the HelluvaVerse, and both mean a lot to me. They are both old men born around the same time with a lot in common, and I know they would be close buds. From everything we have gotten in canon( fake instagrams which are not canon but in character, the fun hunicast streams, viv admitting to shipping them and allowing huskerdust into the merch, the fact that Husk was made to be Angel's bestie, and a lot of unnecessary information I know lmao, I do not doubt these two will be canon. I can't wait to see their friendship grow and all the trials and tribulations they will go through to become better for themselves and each other. And hopefully, the fun shenanigans that they do because I love me some shenanigans.
2) RadioHusk (Platonic)
Tumblr media
Okay, so Husk's relationships with everyone interests me, but this one is probably the most after AngelHusk. It's clear these two have a past and that Alastor is comfortable enough with Husk to be incredibly annoying around him. Alastor is Husk's boss and most likely owns his soul, but there's also a strange bond between them I really want explored. I think Al loves Husk in a platonic and weird way because he's most likely his best friend, but Alastor may not be able to always express this normally. Husk is a good guy and a bit complacent, so he just deals with this shitheads nonsense and doesn't seem to fear him. Maybe there's some fucked up things between them and maybe their friendships has cons and pros. I'm not entirely sure, but I can't wait to find out
3) Angel and Vaggie (Platonic)
Tumblr media
Okay, most of these are platonic ships, but whatever friendships are important. I love these two judgemental assholes and the way they judge people together. It truly is gay and lesbian solidarity, heh. They are gonna be the best of frienemies, and I can't wait for their relationship to be explored.
4) Voxval (Romantic)
Tumblr media
Okay, I hate these bastards with a burning passion, but that doesn't mean their relationship does not interest me. Vox, Val, and Velvette are going to be the main villains of Hazbin Hotel, and without knowing too much about them, I'm excited. I want to know how Val and Vox are going to be as a couple. Since the instagram accounts are not canon, it is hard to tell if Val will be abusive or not. This is a possibility since the accounts seemed to be in character, but I want a different approach. I think it would be interesting for these two to genuinely love and respect each other and no one else. To see themselves as the true rightful kings of Hell and work together to destroy and belittle whoever they deem below them. It's an interesting dynamic that I prefer more than just "Val is abusive to poor baby Vox" cause Vox is also evil, and I want him to do evil shit.
5) Chaggie (Romantic)
Tumblr media
There's not much to say about these two. I just think they are cute, and I want to see more of them.
6) The Hazbin Gang (Platonic)
Tumblr media
And lastly, I can't wait to see how all of these fuckers get along and interact. As a group, I'm sure they will be very entertaining and I will enjoy every minute of it. Also, I am including Pentious because I know he's part of the main cast now, and I love that. Can't wait for these idiots to try and make this hotel work and hopefully grow together in the process.
407 notes · View notes
misshoneyimhome · 22 days
Note
I have a question. can you make write something about Matty(kniesy) and Joe threesome with reader. like Kniesy and reader are dating or it’s Joe and reader that are reading and they let Matt/Joe fuck reader with them? Idk I js think it’d be kinda sexy to read about a threesome about those two and reader🙃
Babe, I'm not sure what I've written 🙈 It almost feels like a saucy and steamy tale featuring two adorable golden retrievers! Nevertheless, I put my best effort into it, and I hope it's somewhat enjoyable 😉🤍
Warnings; 18+ smut; threesome - boyfriend!Joseph Woll x Reader x Matthew Knies; Oral sex (f and m receiving), fingering, hand job, penetrative sex (p in v), cum inside, protective sex (p in v);
Word count; 3.6k
・✶ 。゚
With a Honey in The Middle I Matthew Knies & Jospeh Woll 🖋️⚡️🌶️
Tumblr media Tumblr media
You'd always felt a deep connection with Matthew Knies since you first met him. However, it was Joseph Woll who ultimately won over your heart.
**
You met Joe last year during the off-season, and as you spent a couple of months dating, he gradually introduced you to his team. However, it wasn't until about three months into dating, when you officially became exclusive, that he started inviting you to team events.
At first, you wondered if Joe was ashamed of you, but you soon realised that wasn't the case. He simply wanted to take things slow and ensure you were comfortable with his lifestyle and career before getting too serious. To say the least, Joe was nothing but considerate and respectful.
Moreover, he had a rule about not having penetrative sex until both of you were committed to a serious relationship. Though, you had engaged in other forms of physical intimacy, like touching and kissing for extended periods, it wasn't until he’d asked you to be his girlfriend that you took that final step. However, after that, you spent quite the number of hours together naked in bed.
Joseph Woll was nothing but an outstanding boyfriend in many ways. In fact, he was the complete opposite of the jerks you'd dated in the past, and his sweetness and caring nature were like a breath of fresh air.
Joe fulfilled all your desires. Or at least most of them. He was attentive, kind, always vocal about his feelings for you, and willing to tackle any issues that arose—again, a stark contrast to your previous experiences with guys.
To be honest, your lifestyle before meeting Joe may have leaned towards the wild side. After enduring a devastating breakup, where your ex and your best friend betrayed you by secretly dating and hooking up behind your back, you chose to focus on yourself and embrace a carefree and open way of life. However, this approach also led to some wild incidents from time to time. So, last summer, you decided to dial it back a bit, which was when you crossed paths with the goaltender. And it had felt like he was sent to you like an angel from above or something along those lines.
However, despite all that Joe offered, there was a lingering sense of something missing. For a long time, you couldn't quite put your finger on it, and even around six months into your committed relationship with Joe, that feeling persisted. And you knew you had to figure out what it was.
Then, at the Leafs’ New Year's celebration party, it occurred to you. 
It was later in the evening, while Joe was engrossed in conversation with some of his teammates, where you found yourself standing somewhat apart while Cornelia went to the loo.
Seeing you standing all alone, that's when Matthew Knies approached you, as he wanted to check in and make sure everything was okay. And you didn't mind one bit. After all, Matthew was one of your closest friends from the team.
From the moment you first met, there was a special connection between the two of you. It wasn't anything romantic or sexual though, but rather a bond of genuine friendship, built on banter and cheesy humour.
Of course, you couldn't ignore the fact that he was good-looking, and despite him being a couple of years younger than you, you still found yourself drawn to his charm and outgoing personality. Yet it was nothing but friendly, or at least you thought so.
It wasn't until that New Year's Eve, that you realised what you’d secretly been missing. When the clock struck twelve, and Joe was still engrossed in conversation with friends, your New Year's kiss unexpectedly ended up being with Matthew. Though, it was just a simple peck on the cheek, delicately placed, you still felt a tingle of joy where his lips had touched.
At first, you weren't quite sure why he did it. But then a few days later, when he apologised, he tried to explain that it was just a spontaneous gesture in the moment, with no intention to seduce you in any way.
Yet, deep down, you couldn't ignore the spark he had ignited within you. He had awakened a desire that you hadn't felt with your boyfriend.
Naturally, you were consumed with guilt. You loved Joe deeply, and the thought of entertaining feelings for another guy, especially in that way, filled you with unease. Yet, despite your efforts to push aside the feelings Matthew had stirred within you, they persisted. So, you made the difficult decision to confide in Joe.
To your surprise, Joe's reaction was not one of anger or hurt, but rather calm and composed understanding.
"He likes you," Joe stated softly, his expression gentle as he looked at you. "And you like him."
You were momentarily stunned, absorbing his words before silently nodding in acknowledgment. ”But I love you," you affirmed firmly yet quietly, meeting his gaze.
"I know," Joe responded simply.
His composed reaction left you slightly bewildered. You had expected a more emotional response from him. However, as you engaged in deep, heartfelt conversations, you realised that Joe had his own concerns and insecurities. He was worried that he wasn't living up to your expectations, and his greatest fear was that he wasn't meeting your needs.
Moreover, Joe wasn't oblivious to the connection between you and his teammate. Despite his trust in you and your commitment to honesty, he sensed that your bond with Matthew went beyond mere friendship.
**
In fact, it was Joe who proposed the idea of inviting Matthew into your personal space, specifically, the bedroom.
This suggestion had been brewing in his mind for a while. And after witnessing your interactions with the younger player on the team, he noticed a different side of you—a side that was more playful, flirtatious, with a spark in your eye.
So, when you revealed the New Year's kiss to him, Joe felt compelled to act on his idea. He was a little surprised though by his own confidence and excitement about the prospect of inviting his teammate into an intimate encounter. It was as if the fantasy of you fulfilling your needs with him also brought Joe pleasure. And perhaps, he hoped that your intimacy with Matthew would bring some sort of closure to your longing for him.
Initially, Matthew hesitated, wary of overstepping boundaries with Joe and jeopardising his relationship with the goalie. However, after discussions between the two players, and Joe's reassurance that you had expressed your desire for him, he eventually agreed.
It was no secret that Matthew had thought about you, maybe even fantasised about you a few times. But he genuinely didn't want to be the cause of any rift between you and Joe. He cared deeply about both of you. Yet, the temptation of the idea was too strong to resist, especially since it was Joe's own suggestion.
And when Joe shared the idea with you, you were equally taken aback. Your initial assumption was that he was only doing it to please you. However, as he explained the reasoning behind the idea once again, you realised that it wasn't necessarily about your attraction to Matthew. It was also about fulfilling Joe's sexual fantasy of sharing you with someone else, all in an effort to satisfy you. And that was something you couldn't bring yourself to reject.
**
The atmosphere in the spacious bedroom was already charged with heat as the three of you came together. Soft piano tunes played in the background, and the lights casting a gentle ambiance.
However, before diving into the moment, you had all agreed upon some ground rules: prioritising protection if things escalated with Matthew and he wanted to be inside you. Proceeding at a comfortable pace. And ensuring everyone's comfort throughout.
Taking a deep breath, you acknowledged the gravity of the situation, but also felt an overwhelming sense of excitement. Matthew was undeniably attractive. His stature was imposing, with strong arms and a sculpted torso that exuded power.
Though slightly bulkier than Joe due to his muscular build, they shared the same towering height of 6"3, making you feel almost like a mouse between them.
With Joe standing behind you, Matthew stood before you and slowly began to undress you, revealing you down to your underwear. Then, in a moment charged with anticipation, he leaned in and closed the distance between you with tenderness.
Cradling your face in his hands, Matthew connected his lips with yours as he shared your first real kiss on the lips. The kiss was both gentle and profound as his tongue delicately explored your mouth, intertwining with yours. And surrendering to the sensation, you let your hands roam over his bare chest, feeling the solidity of his muscles beneath your touch.
Then breaking away from the kiss, you gasped for air, taking a moment to catch your breath as Joe's arms enveloped you, his hand guiding your chin to turn back towards him, eager to connect your mouths. Meanwhile, Matthew seized the opportunity to strip completely, his gaze fixed on you as he freed his hardening member.
The atmosphere was thick with sensuality as you then shifted your focus back to the man before you, while Joe discarded his boxers, followed by the men taking off your underwear as well. And with all pieces of clothing removed, exposing your breasts and core, the anticipation mounted. Their hands explored and massaged your breasts in another sensual moment before guiding you onto the bed.
Despite your previous adventurous nightlife, engaging in a threesome was uncharted territory for you. So, you simply allowed yourself to be guided by Joe and Matthew. While neither of them had experienced this before, their sexual prowess allowed them to navigate the situation with confidence.
And as you all settled onto the mattress, Matthew assumed a slightly more dominant role, despite being the invited guest. He instructed you to lie on your back while Joe lounged beside you.
You then shared a deep kiss with Joe, his hands gently caressing your breasts, while yours took a hold of his shaft. But as Matthew positioned himself between your legs, a gasp escaped your lips when you felt his tongue trace along your folds, igniting a wave of pleasure.
"Oh... shi..." you moaned as his mouth expertly explored every inch of your sensitive flesh, from your entrance to your clit, savouring every drop of your nectar. And with his hands he held firmly around your hips, anchoring you in place while he worked his magic.
Matthew was undoubtedly skilled at oral pleasure, leaving you utterly mesmerised by his technique. While Joe had only occasionally gone down on you, it wasn't his preferred activity, and you never wanted to pressure him into it. So, having Matthew between your legs, unashamedly indulging in eating you out, it filled you with pure, unadulterated pleasure.
And as the intensity grew, it became increasingly challenging for you to focus. Still, you made an effort to gently stroke Joe's member, interspersing sloppy kisses between your shared moments of passion.
But it was a struggle. Matthew's talent pushed you beyond the brink, and you could feel the tell-tale signs of an impending orgasm building in the pit of your stomach. Your moans grew louder with each passing moment until Matthew suddenly pulled back, allowing you to gasp for air as you shifted your attention to Joe.
However, the moment your lustful gaze met Matthew's, he wasted no time inserting two long fingers into your core, eliciting a loud moan from you. It was almost effortless for him to stretch you, and as he pumped his digits in and out, stimulating your walls, you couldn't escape the imminent climax.
Then with a smirk on his face, Matthew watched as you squirmed and rolled your eyes back in pleasure, while Joe felt his own arousal throbbing in your hand, his eyes fixated on your every movement.
It was surprisingly arousing for him to watch you being pleasured by his teammate in a way he hadn't done himself. And as he kept his gaze fixed on you, he sensed your impending climax as the motion of your hand increased in speed, only to suddenly halt as you gasped for air.
Matthew's fingers continued their expert work, maintaining a steady rhythm of motion, scissoring, and curling to pinpoint your sensitive spot. And when he hit the mark, evidenced by your near scream of pleasure, he responded to your plea of "just like that" by repeating the motion with precision.
And it didn't take much longer for you to close your eyes completely, arching your back as you reached your climax, both men holding their breath as they savoured the sight of you in ecstasy. You didn’t know how many seconds went by before you then gradually regained control of your breath, and Matthew gently withdrew his fingers, leaving your pulsating core feeling stimulated and empty.
"Fuck, you're hot when you come," Matthew muttered, his eyes fixed on you as you lay before him.
And slowly opening your eyes to meet his gaze, you couldn't help but flash a satisfied smile before biting down on your lower lip, your eyes then shifting to Joe's.
"Did that feel good?" Joe asked softly, concern evident in his tone, and you offered him a gentle nod. "Do you want more?"
"I want you," you replied sweetly, the desire to feel the touch of your boyfriend overwhelming you.
Then with silent communication between the hockey players, they shifted positions so that Joe positioned himself between your legs, with Matthew kneeling next to you. Joe leaned in to share a passionate kiss with you as he then lined the tip of his length up with your entrance and slowly pushed himself inside. Thanks to Matthew providing you with your first orgasm of the evening, he slipped in with ease.
As Joe supported himself by kneeling back, he took hold of your leg and placed it on his chest and shoulder, rocking his hips to penetrate you deeply. Meanwhile, Matthew fetched a pillow to support your head, ensuring your comfort as you took a firm grip of his shaft and began pumping to the rhythm of Joe's thrusts.
It was a scene of sensual pleasure as the three of you indulged in each other. With Joe's member stimulating your sensitive walls, your moans reverberated through the room, intermingled with the boys' heavy breathing as they felt their climaxes building.
And sensing your enjoyment, Joe picked up the pace slightly, watching intently as you stroked Matthew's cock. He observed your breasts bouncing to the rhythm, and when he noticed Matthew relaxing into the pleasure, he increased his speed.
In sync with Joe's motions, you jerked the younger player off, licking your lips as you watched him revel in your touch. Matthew gazed down at you, running his fingers through your hair before tracing his thumb across your lower lip and teasing it into your mouth, prompting you to suckle gently.
"Mmm... want those sweet lips around me..." Matthew muttered under his breath as you continued to stroke him. And with a soft moan, he withdrew his thumb, relishing in the sound of your pleasure.
Then, casting a glance at Joe, Matthew seemed to convey a silent command, asserting his dominance in the moment. Following his lead, Joe gently withdrew from your heat, releasing your leg as Matthew held a smirk on his face, instructing you to roll over onto your stomach.
Bending one leg slightly, you offered Joe access to your core once more, supporting yourself on your arm as he quickly found your wet pussy. With one knee supporting him and the other bent, Joe pressed his throbbing member into you, filling you up to your depths once again.
Meanwhile, Matthew moved to kneel before you, his hard length standing proud and ready to be greeted by your mouth. And gently, you took him in, coating his shaft with your saliva as you seductively gazed up at him, stroking the part your mouth couldn't reach.
The scene was nothing short of scorching. Your pussy was beyond stimulated by Joe's thrusts, causing you to moan in sync with the two lads. Matthew felt a rush of pleasure as you eagerly took him down your throat, while Joe sensed his climax approaching with the tightening of your muscles around him.
You did your best to bob your head in sensual motions, but as your mind drifted into a blissful state, your vision blurred, making it increasingly difficult to maintain a rhythm. You had to pull away a few times to catch your breath, though still stroking Matthew before taking him in once more.
You felt Joe's hands on your hips, his fingers digging into your skin as he sped up and increased his force, and you could sense his impending climax.
"Mmm... damn..." he muttered under his breath, as he tried to hold back his release. He wanted you to come with him, just as you always did. And sensing your cunt clenching around him, he knew you weren't too far away either.
It was almost overwhelming, the sensation of Joe's shaft filling you so perfectly, as if it was tailor-made for you. And unable to keep up the rhythm with Matthew's cock in your mouth, you had to let go, your mind consumed by ecstasy and your cries echoing loudly in the room.
"Joe... babe... I'm close," you panted, your eyes almost closing as you continued to pleasure the man in front of you.
With your warning, Joe thrust harder and faster, the sound of your bodies colliding mixing with your moans. And with a few final thrusts, you both reached climax, him releasing into you as you peaked.
Letting out a deep grunt after he'd finished, Joe slowly pulled back, and you had to pause your movements, still coming down from the intensity of your second orgasm. A moment of heavy breathing followed, the air thick with sweat and the scent of sex.
And as you returned to the present moment, you looked up at Matthew, the only one yet to climax, gasping slightly as Joe carefully withdrew, and you felt his cum dripping from your cunt. 
"And how do you want to finish, Kniesy?" you asked him with a sweet, flirtatious smile.
Considering his options for a moment, Matthew thought about it. Your talent with your mouth was undeniable, making it an easy choice to finish with your skills. However, he also desired the feeling of being inside you, despite Joe's preference for using protection.
So, with a confident smirk, he chose option two.
Joe then handed him a foil package, prompting him to cover up, followed by Matthew instructing you to roll onto your back once again. Then once covered, he positioned himself between your legs and entered you.
"Oh yes," you cried out as Matthew filled you up, his member slightly larger, or at least thicker, than Joe's, and swiftly he established a rhythm, eager to maintain the momentum toward climax.
And as you surrendered to his movements, you lifted your body slightly and supported yourself on your elbows, while Joe knelt beside you once more. His member still hard, you couldn't resist giving him a hungry look, parting your lips to take him in and clean him up. You tasted a mixture of your own fluids and his salty, sticky cum.
Though you knew he couldn't come again, you heard his soft, contented moans as you pleasured him.
Meanwhile, you felt Matthew increasing his pace, thrusting vigorously against you, nearing his climax. 
"Fuck, you feel amazing…" he moaned, his breath heavy as he approached his peak, his movements becoming more intense. The combination of your fluids and Joe's release provided an incredibly slippery sensation, and as he lost control, he became rougher than you'd ever experienced with Joe.
Releasing Joe's cock, you had to let out a deep breath. "Oh, shit…" you exclaimed as Matthew overstimulated you, a few tears trickling from your eyes.
And at last, he reached his climax. With a loud, deep grunt, Matthew closed his eyes and leaned back in ecstasy, releasing into the condom with force.
Your body felt numb from the intense encounter with the two hockey players, rendering you unable to speak. And as you all settled down from the moment, Joe smiled down at you, satisfaction evident in his eyes. He relished seeing you satisfied, and as Matthew carefully withdrew and headed to the bathroom to dispose of the condom, Joe leaned down you share a deep kiss with you.
"Thank you," you murmured softly, genuine gratitude etched on your face. Though it hadn't been overly adventurous, it had been a change, and exactly what you needed.
"I just want you to be happy," Joe replied softly as you both slowly shifted positions and settled on the bed, facing each other.
"I am, Joe, I really am – I'm just amazed you let me have this experience," you whispered softly, pressing your lips together before offering a sweet smile.
"I'd do anything for you."
It was a tender moment, the connection between you palpable as you shared another gentle kiss.
Turning your gaze to Matthew emerging from the bathroom, the three of you exchanged heartfelt chuckles.
"Got room for one more?" the younger player quipped cheekily with a smirk, and in response, you simply gestured for him to join and lie behind you, spooning you while your hand intertwined with Joe’s.
You couldn't deny that your attraction to the forward hadn't disappeared. If anything, it may have been heightened by the experience. But you still knew your heart belonged to the goalie. And as the three of you lounged together, with you in the middle, you exchanged soft and tender kisses with both of them.
117 notes · View notes
hisui-dreamer · 4 months
Text
gone to madness
Pairing: Floyd Leech x gn!reader
Synopsis: if doing the same thing over and over was madness, then you supposed you weren't far off from insanity
Tags: friends to lovers, pining, angst with happy ending, kinda toxic relationships
Word count: 1.1k+
Notes: this was based off of my first love hehe highly recommend listening to cardigan and betty while reading this!!
Masterlist
Tumblr media Tumblr media
How many times would you be willing to do the same thing, over and over, knowing it would all inevitably lead to despair?
They say madness is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results, but maybe your love for him had already driven you to the brink of insanity long ago.
Your love had sprouted early on, so much so you're not sure when exactly it happened. You just know that one day, when he came over to hang out with you just as he'd always done in the past, the butterflies fluttered in your stomach, and your heart thumped so loudly you almost thought the humans had thrown an anchor into the sea bed.
It was rather foolish of you to believe Floyd felt the same. Of course, he said he felt the same, but you're not sure how much you can rely on his statements.
Time and time again, you tried to become more than friends with him, to become the lovers in the fairytales. After all, the way you felt for him was so incredibly intense, it was the same way the mermaid princess felt when she decided to leave her home for love. You wanted to share that love with him, and for a while, he did too.
But you shouldn't have expected that much of him. Everyone in the deep sea knows how spontaneous Floyd can be—constantly tired of old hobbies, and seeking out new interests. It was surprising how long you remained in his life, but you assumed it was only because you provided him enough entertainment, but not too much attachment to be infringing.
It wasn't long before you realised a romantic relationship breached that line.
And so, the relationship quickly fell apart. The weight of heartbreak was almost unbearable, an unsettling pain in your heart that would not go away no matter how hard you tried, it was unlike anything you’d ever felt before. You can’t deny the pain gets worse every time he’s in your line of sight, yet the sight of Floyd, his face contorted in a pout as he asked, "We're still friends, right, Shrimpy?" made it impossible for you to distance yourself from him.
This happened a few times, sometimes initiated by him, sometimes by you, all started by the hope that it would work this time. but despite the heartbreak that would always come when he got tired of the relationship, you always managed to rebuild your friendship, and your connection remained steadfast.
Then came the day Floyd left for school, along with his brother and the octomer they always hang around with. You considered all of you incredibly lucky: them, lucky for being so talented in magic to enter a prestigious school, and you, finally getting some distance from Floyd. The goodbye was filled with tears and promises to keep in touch, but as the months turned into a year, the void left by his absence was undeniable. You tried to move on, but you couldn't shake the feeling that something significant was missing from your life. It was pitiful really, he was doing so well, probably thriving and making so many new friends, and there you were, still stuck in the past with your pathetic feelings.
And when he came back from school for the holidays, it was as if he had never left at all. His return was like slipping back into old habits. The two of you sat in your room chatting just like you've always done, catching up with lost time.
'I missed ya so much Shrimpy!" he giggles as he squeezes your tail, an old habit of his.
Just like clockwork, you reach over to pat his head. "I missed you too, Floyd," your lips curving into a welcoming smile.
He leans into your touch, locking eyes with a vulnerability in his expression. "Ya know, I was thinking about it a lot, but I wanna try dating again."
Your heart races, surprised that he even thought of you when he was gone, but you've been down this road before. You want nothing more but to snuggle into his arms, leaving pecks all over his face, feeling his tail wrapped securely around yours. But you also remember the sleepless nights and the heartache that followed each previous attempt to be together. You hesitate, torn between your love for him and your fear of getting hurt again.
"Floyd," your voice quivers as you quickly pull away your hand, "You know this never works out. It's... best if we just stay friends."
He bolts upright at your words, clasping both of your hands gently, staring into your eyes with a seriousness you don't recognise.
"Shrimpy... I know I hurt ya, and I can't change what I did wrong. But I've grown, I've learned, and I promise I'll ya you right. You're the only Shrimpy for me."
Your gaze weighs heavy upon him. His sincerity shone through and you want to believe him, yet the raw wounds of the past lingered vividly. "I'm not sure we can stay as friends after this time," you managed, a bitter smile flickering.
Silence enveloped the two of you, laden with unspoken emotions.
"Shrimpy," he said, his voice trembling with emotion, "I... don't really know much, and ya know I always change my mind, but I know I really really missed ya! I promise ya, this time will be different. I'll love ya more than I can express, and I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to ya and treasure ya so so much."
You look into those earnest eyes, the determination evident, and you find yourself hesitating. What if... it could work?
"Floyd," you began, your voice soft, "I want to believe you, more than anything."
He leans closer and rests his forehead against yours. "We'll take it slow, yeah. 'm all in to make things right and make sure ya never doubt my love again"
Tears well up, a mixture of emotions swirling within as you pondered his words. A glint of hope stirs, a faint spark of optimism that just maybe, you could find a way to heal the wounds of the past and start anew.
"Okay, Floyd," you whisper, a delicate smile gracing your lips. "One final chance, you silly eel."
Floyd's face lit up with a mix of elation and relief, lifting you and twirling you around. "Really? I swear, Shrimpy! This is gonna be great. I'll treasure ya, and I'll make things right every single day, forever, for the rest of our lives!"
You can only hope he'll keep his promise. They say there's always some madness in love, and the two of you have always mad. So, maybe, just maybe, you'll be alright.
Masterlist
Tumblr media
if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!
177 notes · View notes
luciddownloading · 6 months
Text
Tarot Reading: What Would They Say To You? (No Contact/Separation) ❤️‍🩹
Hello, all! I am back with another Tarot reading. This time we are going to delve into the "no contact/separation" situations. I don't intend for this just to be romantic. I am definitely open to receiving messages about a friendship or family situations. But, I also don't know what will come through once I get started. So, we will have to see. Basically, if it turns out to be your ex or someone you don't want to hear about, don't shoot the messenger lol.
I also wanted to just say that there is nothing wrong with love readings and anyone who tries to shame you for being into them, who wants to "school you" on why you shouldn't invest in them, has no business doing so. And let's be real. 9 times out of 10, the person is doing so because they got hooked on love readings in the past and are now cynical or condescending about that because their happy ending with that person didn't occur.
I have to stress that love readings are NOT about the outcome. It's about having awareness of the situation and using the reading as a tool to make the choices in love that will make you happiest. If someone doesn't do what you expected them to do, it doesn't mean it's all bullshit. We all still have free will and a person's feelings or even their intentions does not 100% guarantee what they will do. Yet, the truth of their feelings is still there and is still useful and meaningful.
My motto for these readings is "don't stress, don't obsess." Because I do think that obsessively consuming love readings is a sign that you need to step back and go within instead. But, it doesn't make these readings "bad." I just felt called to say that and think that someone needed to hear that.
Anyways, pick the picture or pictures below that you are most drawn to and see what your person has to say. Trust yourself! It's only your pile if it truly resonates. Also, I always forget to say this but will make it a habit now: this reading is timeless 🔮
PILE 1
Tumblr media
PILE 2
Tumblr media
PILE 3
Tumblr media
PILE 4
Tumblr media
(Clarifying cards in parentheses)
Back of the deck italicized
PILE 1
Knight of Wands
(Nine of Wands)
The Emperor
(The Empress, reversed)
Ace of Wands, reversed
(Ten of Swords)
The Tower
(Two of Cups, reversed)
Knight of Pentacles
Okay, Pile 1, we started this reading off strong! This is definitely about a love interest of some kind you're in separation with. If not, this may not be your pile! We have the Emperor here, with his boo, The Empress. But, she is upside down (reversed). I feel like this Empress is definitely you, that you have a more feminine energy, regardless of how you physically identify. And, funny enough, this card's position feels, in a way, like past energy for you. Like, you were compromising your boundaries for this person. Giving too much while they were unavailable. You might have even been rejected by them, in some way, and it really turned your world upside down.
I hear I'm Going Down by Mary J Blige. This has not been an easy connection for you and your person recognizes that. They would tell you that they know how much they hurt you. Also, that they really hurt themselves, in the process. Things here are kind of mirrored or echoed because they could be presently struggling in the way you once were. This just feels like a very, very major connection. Very powerful, very fated, and both of you felt that in the way this rupture in the relationship created a Tower moment for you both.
Yeah, your person is not having a great time and I feel like they wish they could talk to you about it. I don't think their struggles are all about you. I actually think they are suffering because they are trying to recover from a really intense mental health crisis. This separation may have been the catalyst for it or has just made it worse. NOT to say it's your fault, though. Actually, I think your person brought a lot of this on to themselves and they fully recognize that.
I sense them having an identity crisis of sorts. They know they need to grow up and can't continue life the way they once did. All footloose and fancy free. I kind of get "Peter Pan" vibes from them. And Tinkerbell vibes from you lol. Just felt the urge to add that. But, they are realizing that their lifelong vacation in Neverland is over. Not to say that they can't have fun or have to stifle themselves. But, they understand they need to mature, especially if they want to repair things with you. They see you as very fun, too, but also really mature.
I get the feeling that this has been a LONG time coming. This may be a separation that has lasted for years. If not, it's felt like it. You feel like Elderly Rose in Titanic when it comes to this connection. The history as well as the time apart has felt like 84 years. To you and your person! They acknowledge how slowly they have been moving and are also really, really worried that you've moved on or are no longer interested. On one hand, they really want to just gallop in and profess their love. On the other hand, they fear that it will just lead to the nightmare of you saying "Yeah, no, thanks." I would just advise you to do what feels right for you!
Your person is definitely more masculine in nature. They are learning that they can't always be in control. In this time apart, they are getting better at dealing with and expressing their emotions. They hope that will impress you because they have been very emotionally stunted in the past and they know that. But, basically, there is a ton of anxiety here. They would tell you that they didn't realize how hard life without you would be. And that they do plan on coming back in but it will take more time. Not only because they have to overcome their fears but because they want to be the best version of themselves they can be for you. They might be making more progress than they give themselves credit for! They are getting there. Bit by bit, day by day.
Astrological Signs: Your person could have a major emphasis of Fire (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) in their chart. Especially Aries. They also may have personal placements in Earth (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) or Scorpio.
/////////
PILE 2
Four of Wands
(Ten of Wands, reversed)
The Hierophant, reversed
(Judgment)
Seven of Swords
(Nine of Cups)
Six of Swords, reversed
(Five of Cups, reversed)
Seven of Wands, reversed
Pile 2, this is a really interesting spread. I am getting what seems like a whole backstory here of your relationship with this person. This either is a love interest or someone who was once a very close friend. Either way, you two really fit like a glove! This person would tell you that they consider you a soulmate, of some kind, and that they cannot stand the distance here. I feel like it has weighed on them and weighed on them for a long time and they can't take it anymore. Again by Lenny Kravitz is the song coming through.
They feel quite unable to move forward without you. At the very least, they want some healing in this situation before they can move forward. Some sort of conversation or reconciliation. The regret they feel over this is really intense, tbh. They did you wrong, in a way. If this is romantic, they may not have been entirely honest about their intentions or fully willing to commit. They might have dated/slept with other people behind your back. Or they made you the side piece behind someone else's back, which I think you did not take to kindly! If it was a friendship, they may have just left you socially for other people or switched up on you because of others.
I am also getting a feeling of gossip, social gossip. They could have had friends who "disapproved" of this connection or even you. And instead of telling those friends to shove it, they went right along with it, not really investing in you. It seems like they needed to go the extra mile to defend you and they failed to. I think they're really sorry about that. For some of you, you know all about this drama and we're even sucked into it. For others, it was very much something you were oblivious to, which made this person's behavior all the more frustrating or disappointing.
This person would tell you that they really regret being unable to go against the grain of others' opinions when it came to this connection. Here's the thing, though. I don't even think you did much of anything! This person attracted people with a lot of drama and a lot of baggage. Toxic people who burdened them (this could also be family). And if you're a healthy, reasonable person with strong boundaries, then you're going to be the villain in a toxic person's story. And your person was unable to recognize how much they should've fought off these negative influences and fought for you.
That's a pretty specific message that's coming through. Your person wants you to know they're done with the drama. They also want you to know that you wouldn't have to deal with it, either, because they don't have the same negative people around them. Whether it was their friends or relatives, you may have clashed with these people and this individual ruminates on that. They feel bad about it! But, it probably took a great betrayal for them to realize that they needed better influences in their life.
This person wants a reunion with you very badly, believing that the barriers between you are now out of the way. They also REALLY want you to know that they should've committed to you when they had a chance, if this is romantic. That's something they may even beat themselves up for. If this is platonic, they feel they should've been much more solid and present. They do have what it takes to be solid but they were screwing around. But, they feel like times are different now and that, if given a chance, they can prove themselves to you. However, I would say that this person veers from being quite confident about this to very nervous about it. They have a lot of depth but avoid much of it by having fun, to the point of hedonism. (I am also getting the message that many of you met this individual while at a bar or party and they reminisce about it a lot). But, they realize that they are going to have to get real if they want things to progress here.
Astrological Signs: This person may have their Sun, Moon and/or Rising in the signs of Taurus or Scorpio.
/////////
PILE 3
Ace of Pentacles
(The Chariot)
Ten of Wands
(King of Wands, reversed)
The Star
(Seven of Cups, reversed)
The Emperor
(Page of Wands)
Two of Wands, reversed
Right off the bat, Pile 3, this feels more platonic. I am getting "ex-best friend" vibes. Now, it could be romantic, too. But, I think that's the minority here. I feel like many of you who were thinking of a friend you had a falling out with or drifted from picked this pile. Regardless, I think this is someone who thought, after things ended, that a) they'd be fine without you and/or b) there was something better out there. Welp, they were wrong and/or wrong! And they are now seeing what a special impact you had on them.
It may suck to realize that someone who meant a lot to you took you for granted. But, they weren't seeing things clearly before. And this person has a major inability to admit that they're wrong. I think they would actually (gasp!) admit this to you, however begrudgingly. You were the thing to get them to see the problematic size of their ego. I don't think they realized how self-centered and domineering their behavior can be until this all happened. They can be control freaks, which is also affecting their ability to reach out. They are saying they would love to message or call you. To get back in touch. They think about it all the time. But, they hold back because they are unsure of how it'll turn out.
However, they are also saying that, ideally, they hope for a positive response from you. They can be quite strategic and actually spend a lot of time trying to figure out the best way to approach this. You might be thinking, "The best way they can approach me is to not approach me." Lol and, as always with these readings, that is your right. I say that because things feel a little one-sided here. They may want this reconciliation much more than you do, if you even want it. I even think, for some of you, this person is into Law of Attraction and the like. Maybe they're trying to manifest you back and, if you've bonded over metaphysical stuff, they picture telling you that if/when you talk again.
But, honestly, that still feels a little... controlling. I feel like this person is more focused on winning you back than actually healing or improving your relationship. And on some level, their ego is still running the show. They suffer from a LOT of guilt in terms of how things went down between you but also struggle with the arrogant part of themselves that refuses to acknowledge their faults or wrongdoings. I think they would probably fold under the pressure, if you were seated right in front of them now, and confess how they really feel. Otherwise, they actually try very hard to avoid that truth. But, they're failing at it.
I see you in The Star here because that's how they see you. You could have personal placements in Aquarius. You've got some BUE. Big Unicorn Energy. There is no one like you! You not only bring this unique, exciting, otherworldly energy wherever you go but you're an excellent and loyal friend. So, like I said, this feels more like a friendship to many of you. And they would tell you they know they will never find another bestie like you. You were also a great support in that you helped them see things more clearly. You talked them through a lot of chaos, confusion and delusion. And I think they are painfully aware of the power of your positive influence now. Their life may be in shambles now in a way that it wasn't when you were acting as the Light of their life.
But, I am getting another message, not from this person but Spirit and your Guides. I think you may have dimmed yourself a bit for this person's benefit. Especially since they do seem like the kind of egotistical, competitive friend who wants to one-up people or get all the attention. This person knows how awesome you are (most people do, actually) and could've been threatened by that in a way that made them act out. You also might have Aries, Leo or Sagittarius in your chart. So, you are as fiery as this person with a charisma and it factor all your own. Yet this energy may not have been able to fully thrive around this person.
This may be a current epiphany of yours, now that you have some distance. It could have been very hard to see that at the time and you may have had an inaccurate view of how good of a friend they were. If so, take this as confirmation! And however you choose to engage with them in the future, your Spirit Team is urging you to never make yourself smaller for someone else.
Oh, something else: Halloween could have been a big deal in your connection. I am getting the This Is Halloween song from Nightmare Before Christmas. There could have been some Halloween tradition you did together annually like pumpkin picking/carving or dressing up. So, this time of the year might make them think of you even more.
Astrological Signs: This person could have a major Fire (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) influence in their chart, especially the sign of Aries. They could also have placements in Cancer.
/////////
PILE 4
The Hierophant, reversed
(Four of Cups)
Nine of Cups, reversed
(Knight of Wands)
Nine of Wands
(Ten of Cups, reversed)
Three of Cups
(The Tower)
Page of Pentacles
Pile 4, this person is pretty shattered right now. And it's not completely because of this separation, although it partially is. It's mostly because of what this separation is illuminating for them. This could honestly go either way: platonic or romantic. I get more of a romantic vibe, though, because this person feels like they lost their chance somehow with you yet are hoping for another opportunity.
I think they want to tell you that they should've taken an earlier opportunity. Maybe you offered them some sort of solid commitment and they passed on it. Now, that decision straight-up haunts them. I also feel like they believe you're doing much better without them or that you would be better off without them. Romantically, they can worry a lot, especially if they know you're sociable/extroverted and very attractive (they definitely believe you're a catch). They may constantly picture you flirting or hooking up with someone else. For some of you, they may have even seen you at a party, entertaining another option, and it wrecked them. If not, I feel like they just imagine it as a form of self-torment.
It's pretty dramatic energy lol. I'm not going to lie. But, it all stems from their inner pain and turmoil. They would let you know that they made the choice they did because they didn't feel good enough for you. Specifically, I am getting the message that they typically entertain no-strings situations or shallow flings because that's all they feel they deserve. It's also all they think they can handle. But, they treated you very differently because they held you in higher esteem but themselves in lower esteem. So, if they never made a move or resisted your advances, that could partly explain why.
I think this poor self-worth stems from their upbringing, which was most likely dysfunctional to an extreme. It seems like they still deal with intense family drama that exhausts and drains them. Recently, there could have been a tense visit home or some nasty fights with relatives. They want you to know that they are very protective of you and don't want you to have to deal with that. This could be another reason why they may have distanced themselves. This actually doesn't feel like a separation where anything went "wrong" or where things actually ended. It just feels like you're not really talking now because your person has a lot of personal things to work out.
But, just the thought of you is like a light at the end of the tunnel. You are definitely a major source of positivity and fun for them. They look forward to reuniting and engaging with you again but also know that they still need to sort out the mess in their life. Maybe they wish you two could talk because you also know what they're going through, in some way. You could have come from a toxic family, too, and maybe you've bonded over that. They want you to know that you keep them going and inspire them. They see how much you rose above your unhappy origins and didn't let it define you. So, instead of giving up on their growth and healing, you make them believe it's possible. That's really sweet!
Batman could have some significance to this person or your connection. You could be the Catwoman to their Batman (regardless of the genders involved!) I do feel like this person has a dark, Bruce Wayne-like origin story they're trying to work through. But, they also feel that you're one of the few who really understand them. The song 21 Guns by Green Day may have a message relating to them or this connection. I think this person is very determined to overcome their issues/defenses and it seems like they're doing a lot of that either because of you or for you. They are very eager to make things work between you and they are putting in the effort. Just from afar for right now.
Astrological Signs: This person might have their Sun, Moon or Rising in the sign of Aries or Scorpio (Aries is really being represented today! As well as Scorpio. But, hey, we are in Scorpio season)
176 notes · View notes
phatcatphergus · 3 months
Note
Hi, you reblogged me with a lore dump about Q! Tubbo and you mentioned that you'd be willing to do a character analysis? Please, I'm invested at this point
Ahhhhh omg hi! I can't believe you came back for more lol. You shall soon be a qtubbo stan like the rest of us.
I do want to preface this by saying that this is my personal lore interpretation so it's subjective. So many people have great analyses of his character, so I recommend watching a couple streams or looking at the tag for a broad scope as well!
That being said...
I think the best word to describe qtubbo is loss.
He was brought to the island having already lost parts of himself he didn't know. Through his time on the island, he lost respect, credibility, friends, family, teammates, nieces and nephews, penpals, godkids, mentors, and himself. He never had something he didn't end up losing, whether by choice or force. He loses what matters most to him, yet he continues giving his all to everyone he meets.
He came to the island with loss and no sense of who he was or where he came from, yet he spent all of his time for the benefit of others. He worked day and night so that other people wouldn't experience the loss of what he could prevent such as items or supplies. He never wanted anyone to experience what he experienced, even when they were the ones perpetuating it.
No one ever cared about him unless it was for a reason. His relationships were transactional and needed to be because who would ever care for someone with no firm sense of self or where you came from? When he couldn't provide a transaction of care, he made himself useful, he became indispensable so that even if people didn't like him for him, they could use his skills until they didn't need him anymore.
The only time he actually felt that someone cared for him, just to care about him, was Fred. Fred had no emotions, no sense of self, and no past to speak of. Fred was someone who had no reason to hate or use Tubbo because Fred was like Tubbo. Fred was the first person who could care for Tubbo because he wanted to, and not because of his use or someone's sense of responsibility.
Losing Fred meant losing the one person who cared about him without strings attached. Anyone else only cared about him because he was useful, a leader, an engineer, a neighbor, a business partner, a babysitter, someone to steal from, or just someone to poke fun at. Until Sunny.
With Sunny, Tubbo knew better than to expect her to stay with him. He learned from his past that he doesn't deserve something as wonderful as Sunny, that he can only love and wait until she is ripped away too. If he wasn't good enough to keep Fred, why on earth would he be even partially enough for Sunny.
He mourned her loss the day he got her. He knew he wasn't the best for her, he wasn't anywhere close to what Sunny deserved, but he did his best regardless and loved her more than life itself. Sunny became his tether and the only reason for him to stay alive. Sunny needed him like he needed Sunny. Sunny was the only reason he kept himself alive after Fred's funeral. Through the jeers, through the belittlement, through the disregard for his feelings, Sunny was there and provided him with enough purpose to keep going.
Fit and Pac dating made his only sense of security start to crumble. The two people he figured would stick by his side were moving along without him. They wouldn't need him in their life because they would need each other. They don't need his friendship anymore, his usefulness has worn itself out. He doesn't see them extending a hand to him as they step forward because he's too focused on the empty voids in his past where others should be.
He tries to break them up, and even if they hate him, he can rationalize that he did it for the right reasons. They may hate him but they're stuck with him, kicking and screaming by his side. Everyone tells him that he needs to find Fred, that he's projecting his romantic life onto theirs. In reality, he is too scared of leaving the island the exact way he started, with nothing to his name and no one by his side.
His character is such a battle between what he wants to do and what he feels that he needs to do. His entire run through purgatory was fighting others for eggs that weren't even his. He spends his days working on projects for other people and picking apart his failures when others can only see his success. He works tirelessly so that Sunny won't ever understand what it's like to be underestimated, beaten down, mischaracterized, and alone. Even if the world is against them, he will be in her corner to fight until his dying breath.
He loves so deeply and so purely. He tries to compensate for the lack of it that he has received after giving it away to whoever asks. He is depressed, anxious, and on alert. He has gone through trials and events with his head high and carrying the weight of others on his shoulders. He loves and he gives and continues to even when the people he gives his love to throw it to the side.
He has people in his corner, but his fear of them leaving has already made them vanish in his mind. He's a killer and a father. An engineer and a friend. A penpal and an adversary. He is loss and he is love.
98 notes · View notes
theninthdoor · 6 months
Text
pac || what do they wanna tell you?
🕸 think of a specific person, take 3 deep breaths and pick one of the piles below to get a message from them! this should give you an idea of what's going through your person's mind right now & what they would like to tell you in this moment. 🕸 take only what resonates and leave the rest! if you feel like the pile you've initially picked doesn't really apply to the person/situation you're thinking of, it's OK to pick another one. 🕸 remember that this is all for entertainment purposes and that free will still exists. don't feel pressured to do anything you don't want to, just because your person thinks this or that, ok? 🕸 enjoy, my friends!
Tumblr media
💭 pile 1 || cards: strength, two of cups, the hierophant, 2. Yin, 27. Exchanging Gifts
Before I even started shuffling, I kept feeling that the people who are picking pile 1 are the most introverted, quiet and/or sensitive of everyone who's coming across this post. I actually left this pile for last because it was so still and silent, while the others had so much information jumping out of them already (before I got their spreads, I mean).
So, my sweet pile 1, the person you're thinking of has a lot of appreciation and admiration for you. They have noticed how kind and charming you are, and see you as someone they would like to keep close going forward. Your person finds you truly, truly endearing… You're not only beautiful on the outside but your heart, too, is made of gold. If you haven't spoken to this person yet, they would love you to make that move towards them. You two fit very well into each other's lives and, regardless of the kind of relationship this would end up being, it would still be a solid, balanced and close connection. On the other hand, if they are someone you're already friendly with, they just want to let you know that you mean so, so much to them! This is a relationship they cherish a lot, and are hoping lasts for a lifetime. In this case, though, your person also wants you to know that they are always there for you and genuinely wish you the best life can offer. They will always support you no matter what; when you're happy, they are happy; when you're sad, they feel it too. Don't ever think you're alone, ok? They are right there, ready to help you and care for you. Lastly, if the person you're thinking of is someone you're romantically interested in, whenever you're ready, make the move, pile 1! They feel the same way as you! You may be lacking the confidence or certainty to approach them, which is likely due to what we saw early on - your introversion; you being naturally quiet and shy, and/or quite sensitive -, but this is a safe connection for you to invest in, pile 1, alright? The person you're thinking of won't judge or hurt you, and rest assured that their heart is in the right place. (The same applies for friendships, of course! It's OK for you to approach your person - they are honest, compassionate and reliable people.)
💭 pile 2 || cards: seven of cups rx, ten of swords, king of wands, 32. Here and Now, 39. New Life
For this pile, I feel like some of you might have recently moved to a new city, school or university, or workplace. You may be trying your best right now to romanticize your life, either because you feel like it's the only way you can bear the changes or because you're actually using this opportunity to build a whole new persona (without the flaws or embarassments of the past). Either way, the person you're think of, dear pile 2, is saying "You don't need to fake it. I know exactly what kind of person you are, and I like it a lot!". Your person is very, very aware of what is going on through you head right now, and they know exactly why you have been acting in a particular way as of late - not only because it is clearly unnatural, but also due to the fact that they are pretty intuitive people, too, and picked up on something that wasn't quite right here. Whether you have known them before or not, they want you to drop the act and show your truest self to them - not the perfect character you've built, not the person you think you should be; the real you! They want you to be present in the moment and to enjoy your real, daily life as it is. You're actually blocking a lot of blessings and good connections and experiences because you're too focused on the looks of things; on how it ideally should be. You're forcing yourself to do certain things, to look a certain way or to behave in a particular manner, and that shouldn't have to happen for you to enjoy how you are living or to be proud of what/who you have to show your new friends/colleagues/classmates. Go with the flow, accept the changes and stay positive about the whole thing. If this happened - if you were pulled away from what was familiar to you - it's because it was needed in order for you to grow and prosper! Getting used to it, growing into it, shouldn't be forced and neither should it be a struggle. It's OK to want to build a new life and persona that we desire, but we can't erase our whole selves and past life while at it. We live, grow and evolve; we're not a whiteboard that you can just sweep clean to write something new on there. Essentially, pile 2, your person wants you to embrace who you were before these changes, to share that with them, and to stop worrying so much about having the "ideal life" and being the "perfect person".
💭 pile 3 || cards: seven of swords, justice rx, seven of cups, 20. Imagine, 37. Never-ending Story, 32. Here and Now
My dear pile 3, we have a stalker in your hands… Either you are the stalker (which I think only applies to a very few of the people who picked this pile) or someone has been keeping tabs on your every move lately. The person you're thinking of has been keeping a very close watch on you; daydreaming about what could've been or what could still be. For some, this connection ended on a sour note, with you walking away from them after some sort of disagreement or situation that didn't sit right with you. If that's the case, your person is trying to find a way back into your life, for sure! They have been looking for every little door of opportunity that can excuse their comeback. Your social media is likely to be the means through which they are staying up to date with what you do and, if you're posting pics with some new people, they'll certainly go creep on their pages as well. If you are the stalker, however, they are already aware of you and are actually thinking of confronting you about it. I don't see them being upset or creeped out, at all, though! As I said before, your person does want to find a way into your life - in this case, it is because they are also curious about you or because they miss you. Whatever has happened in the past involving the two of you, my dear pile 3, the person you're thinking of wants to let you know that "things weren't exactly as it seemed". You got the wrong impression of them, somehow, or of the situation. I feel like this person, although they appear quite extroverted and open, they keep a lot to themselves and it takes a while for anyone to get to know the real them. The person you're seeing or thinking of, isn't exactly the person they truly are, deep down… there's so much more to it. And your understanding of what might've happened in the past isn't totally right, either. Finally, if you feel confident enough to do it, your person would be more than happy to have you approach them first; to have you reveal yourselves to them or open that door for them to come back into your life. Stay open to listen to their side of the story - it might surprise you.
decks used || Tarot of the New Vision & Wisdom of the Oracle Divination Cards
(Disclaimer: Based on current energies. All is alleged and for entertainment purposes only.)
121 notes · View notes
izartn · 3 months
Text
So, about how I see Link Click's Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi relationship:
As it stands in canon? Queerplatonic partners. And it's convenient for the plot that they're like this.
Because of Chinese censorship it can't be explicitly romantic, yes I know it. Let me tell why it's queerplatonic for me. The way these two have intertwined their lives and futures together?!
Owning a business and living together, that hint in ep2 (comparing them to the subtextually older lesbian couple who also came across as queerplatonic bc censure) where Xiaoshi wonders/fears if years down the line he and Lu Guang will separate/break up implying their partnership is for life as far as he's concerned (the parallel can be taken as a subtext romance too but follow me we're talking text), the way they were already going also on vacancies together three years prev in canon, etc...
Without entering on their complimentary powers and the way the dives need both of them if they want security in not screwing the past, and the inmense trust and vulnerability the dives themselves require?
They're not simply best friends either.
Those aren't the actions of normal, totally not queer friends. Cheng Xiaoshi checks out women on the dives, sure, (and men too when the host is feeling it which I love bc they can't address it directly bc censorship and then it comes across as Xiaoshi being super confident in his own relationship to sexuality/gender) but I don't think he would ever date bc Lu Guang is already there, filling that place in his life minus sex and romance but all that same companionship and intensity of feeling.
These two meet in what, the last year/s of High School and then proceeded to latch onto each other with a commitment reserved for romantic partners.
And I know you want to say, "it's the censorship! they'd be romantic and canon if not for the censorship!"
Are you sure? Are you sure the story would work if there were explicit romance in it? (I mean, if they could I'm pretty sure they would have nailed it anyways but allow me my a-spec delusions) Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang feel so much like an already established pair, they work like one, and Link Click is not about them coming together like many other stories. Are you sure this would work as BL?
There's a distinct difference on the way they start the show already like six years at least since they're best friends and three or two since they live together. That's not usually how it goes. I'm talking not just romances but every buddy or nakama anime/show, where the protag has to learn to work with who will be his best friend or rival. These stories usually have the same kind of plot progression as a romance which is why they work so well when you make the subtext text.
But a story where the main romance is already established and we're following a plot that has nothing to do with it? Much more rare, even stranger to find them well done although there are some very good ones and with the friendships instead of romo they're more common. For example, Soul Eater, which is all about the trials of it and how they hace to truly come to understand each other. That's Link Click a bit, but not even then.
Link Click juggling a budding romance between Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi with all the other stuff is going on?? Messier for sure. I don't know if people would have liked it as much or if the donghua would have been as well done.
As it is, Link Click has the exact level of emotional connection between our protags it needs to have incredibly high stakes emotionally and at the same time not need a detour by romantic scenes/fanservice that would derail the plot or the other charas importance. That it happens to be pretty queer anyways in a platonic way?
Nice for the aroace-spec folks watching the show xD
Btw, I'm pretty sure in season 3 we're going to get more of Lu Guang's PoV, the origins of their powers and the past between him and Xiaoshi. It'll probably dig more into the aspect of "testing their bond and coming stronger bc of it" which is were the romantic subtext usually comes through...
—unless you're very very good at writing like Arakawa in FMA, who nailed the brotherly relationship without tipping into incest subtext which I've seen more than a few writers fumble. or the latest D&D film for the platonic childrearing and partnership for a no familial example between a man and a woman also very very difficult to get right for writers dunno why—
... but until then, for now I'm incredibly satisfied by the canon.
The other read of course it that they're already a couple since well before the start of season 1, and to mentally edit what we saw in canon with that lens (it wouldn't be very difficult honestly) but reading only the text? Queerplatonic partners!
There also how Xiaoshi and Lu Guang don't have that anxiety/insecurity of their bond that makes it so easy to read the want for something, like a romance for shipping purposes. Despite the disagreements on the Dives or the trials of season 2 or Lu Guang keeping secret Cheng Xiaoshi future/past death they read very steady which is fun. I love some good established relationship, you can go to deeper places when the base is already secure and the risk is higher for the characters. Plus I love domesticity! Yes, I do my angsty/Gothic leanings notwithstanding. Don't you know you need a home for the Gothic to be effective?
#link click#meta#link click meta#lu guang#cheng xiaoshi#shiguang#my thoughts#all of this to say that I don't exactly ship them#Although I've been tagging fanart and meta with their shipname#bc I dont not ship them#honestly?#it's because despite it all I'm very much a canon girl so I can't help but see shiguang on that same romo-not romo limbo#canon present us with#loving the fics though#and Lu Guang is so tragic timetraveler for love coded is not funny#which is the reason I'm sure season 3 will give me that shift towards a more romantic lense to their relationship#also the way they made sure to sibling-fy qiao ling and cheng xiaoshi was fun XD#in conclusion: I think Link Click being a danmei wouldn't have worked#precisely bc it wasnt created as danmei the story as it is works almost perfectly#and right now Im not sure if I would want the romance at the expense of everything else the plot is doing#....qiang jin jiu did it well on the second half though#but it had the first part to go from a enemies-to-lovers and establishing the romance#I don't think I've seen a danmei start with a established romantic relationship bc the genre being a romance tells you that's#what's going to be centered#link click would had to be a just a time travel thriller with queer elements (which it is)#and I don't know#I'd love it but I bet we'll have lots of people annoyed/annoying bc they're here for the romance#Instead of taking the story for what it is#but then romance (queer romance) doesn't devalue the storytelling#ah the conflict of wanting a-spec queer stories VS censorship
77 notes · View notes
alotofpockets · 1 year
Text
Miscommunication | Daniëlle van de Donk
Tumblr media
Pairing: Daniëlle van de Donk x Reader
Summary: If your past has taught you anything, it's that people leave. So, when your girlfriend doesn't come back after an arguement, you think you've lost her.
masterlist | woso masterlist | words: 710
Usually you would drive to practice together with your girlfriend, however Daniëlle hadn’t come home after your argument earlier. She said she just needed to clear her head before you had to go back to work but from past experiences you knew that it was more than just clearing her head. In past relationships, whether those were friendships, romantic relationships, or even your parents, everyone always ended up leaving. You were waiting by the door for her to come back home until the latest time you could without being late for practice. When you realized she wasn’t coming to pick you up, you went to grab your bag. That’s when you saw that Daan her bag wasn’t there, she had to have taken it, planning to not come back here. With a heavy heart you grabbed your own bag and walked towards your car. 
You barely managed to arrive at the field without crying, taking a deep breath before you got out of the car. Stepping into the dressing room everyone turned around and greeted you, you said a quick hello back and took an empty seat. “Hey, where’s Daan? I thought you always drove here together?” Jackie asks. “I don’t know and I don’t want to talk about it.” You said not looking anyone in the eyes. You got dressed quickly, without any further small talk as you could feel everyones concerned looks towards you, leaving the dressing room and making your way towards the field. You get some warm ups in and start running laps around the field. Running usually helps you make sense of your emotions.
Meanwhile in the dressing room, the room goes quiet as Daniëlle walks in. “Well.. hello to you too.” She jokes as she plops her bag down on the bench. “Seriously, why did you all stop talking as soon as I walked in?” The team looks confused, how did Daan sound so chipper, while y/n seemed to be on the verge of a breakdown over her. “Y/n was just in here and she seemed rather upset. We asked her about you and she basically stormed off.” Viv explains. “Shit..” Daan says before running out of the dressing room herself.
She finds you on the field quickly and runs up to you. “Hey baby, what’s going on? Training hasn’t started yet.” That’s when she sees your tear stained cheeks. She stops you by grabbing your arm. “Talk to me, what’s going on?” She says as she wipes a tear from your cheek. You pull your face away as she does so, “Please, don’t. Don’t do that, you can’t walk out on me one second, taking your bag with you and planning to not come back, and care for me the next second.”
“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry that it seemed that way. My bag was in my car already, and I went home to pick you up, but you were already gone. I hadn’t realized the time while I was clearing my head. I would never just leave you, I promise.” She tries wiping the tears off your cheeks again, this time you let her. “I just needed a moment to clear my head because I didn’t want to start an argument because I was frustrated, I knew that wouldn’t get us anywhere. We just had a little disagreement which got us both frustrated, that does not mean I am leaving. You are so important to me and I will always choose to work on fixing us. I love you, y/n.” You fall into her arms, she always knows what to say to make you feel better. “I love you too.” 
The team joins you on the field. You quickly wipe away your tears before you both join them. Your teammates are relieved to see that the two of you are acting as you usually do. Back home after training the two of you sit down and talk about your earlier disagreement. Since you are no longer in the middle of your frustrations, you are both able to have a healthy discussion about your feelings and wants in similar future situations. You end up resolving the disagreement quickly and decide to call it an early night, spend cuddling in bed. 
255 notes · View notes
etherealfishyfeelings · 4 months
Text
Synastry Notes: Ascendant 1
These are essentially just my personal experiences with certain synastry aspects. Basically a rant lol.
Venus Conjunct Ascendant: honestly, I have a big love/hate relationship with this aspect as I have Venus square Ascendant as the tightest aspect in my own natal chart so when I'm the Venus person I become so envious and enchanted by the Ascendant person that it's almost suffocating. The more I look at them the less I want to be myself but I am also incredibly attracted to them in an almost poetic way. It really highlights my sense of disharmony with my own Ascendant and so usually being around the Ascendant person is quite uncomfortable regardless of the depth of my attraction to them. I usually love getting to know more about them past their Ascendant though, and regardless of what's underneath, my sense of enchantment with them doesn't really tend to fade at all over time. On the other hand, when I'm the Ascendant person, the Venus person usually doesn't make a lot of sense to me as their style of relating(aka venus) is directly clashing with my own style of relating to others. I think it only becomes more awkward when the Venus person almost seems perplexed by the switch ups that I tend to do in social situations(that I really do not want highlighted because I already feel horribly socially inadequate as it is lol) and so generally what starts out as a very enthusiastic friendship eventually turns into a lot of mixed signals and just a lot of the Venus person having absolutely no idea what to expect from me most of the time. I also tend to become a little wary of them due to how much they tend to highlight my social awkwardness and lack of consistency. (My Venus is in the 10th in Cap, directly conjunct my MC and directly squaring my Aries AC)
Mars in the 7th house/Mars opposite AC: this placement tends to end up being a little insane in my case due to my natal Venus square Ascendant so this placement usually means that their Mars is squaring my Venus too and honestly it's just too much. I tend to attract A LOT of Libra mars men(like most of the men that have chased me like their lives depended on it had their Mars in Libra, well, as much as Libra tends to chase) and initially its always fairly sweet but within the first couple of conversations it usually gets really ugly. Lots of jealousy and very sexually suggestive, impatient too and the longer we remained in contact without any romantic contact the more frustrated they seem to get and the more aggressive(not in a really bad sort of way) their hints tended to get. And because its Libra they're never really direct with it, mostly creating lots of very obviously intended scenarios that would allow me to take the lead but my Cap Venus needs a lot of time before I'll be willing to do that but my Aries AC suggests that I'm more of an impulsive go getter so they seem to expect me to be more forward than I actually am around romance. They seem very perplexed and frustrated that when it comes to romance and sex I'm very picky and take a really long time to warm up to the idea of being with someone even in a friendship sense. However, when I'm the Mars person(I have Mars in Pisces) I generally tend to be pretty attracted to the Ascendant person in a very pleasant way. I usually find them very beautiful and have a very strong urge to seek out their company. I also find that I tend to think of them as being quite talented, but I feel that might also be due to their AC trining my Venus.
83 notes · View notes