#all men do is sit on their ass and make podcasts

[joan-of-feminism]

Women are so much more than the brainless, two dimensional creatures that men think we are. They truly cannot comprehend how we have complex inner worlds, emotions, experiences, and hobbies that have nothing to do with them. We play sports, make clothing from scratch, cook elaborate meals, read stacks of books, code computer games and so much more. We don’t just stop existing and living our lives whenever men aren’t around. I love women so much. We can do so many amazing things completely separated from men.

#men are stupid #men are trash #women are wonderful complex people #we have so much to offer this world #all men do is sit on their ass and make podcasts #radblr #radfem #radfems do touch

[bandgie]

On Your Knees Pt.2

ONE | TWO

synopsis: They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but this one seems eager for a treat.

warnings! MDNI 18+, fem!reader, incel!seungmin, pussy eating/fingering, PIV (raw), edging (m!), blue balls, multiple orgasms (f!), dom reader (kinda), banter, prolly more that I missed lol

3.1k words

Seungmin doesn't think there'll be any way for him to live how he has been. Even the friends he spends time with hardly compare to the time he spends on the bathroom floor eating you out. Embarrassingly enough, it's all he can think about. Even as the podcast he's watching blares through his headphones, he can barely make out what they're saying.

Something about how it's submissive for a man to eat pussy. How demeaning the act is for a man to do. Yet, Seungmin questions the validity of what these so-called 'alpha' men are saying. Is it truly so terrible to have the taste of a cunt on your lips? To suck and lick on such a delicious flower?

He shuts his computer off, ripping the headphones by the wire to hone in on his conclusions. 

Okay so maybe this is normal. Seungmin's a big boy; it makes sense that he would eat pussy sooner or later. And if he liked it, that's also fine. He's a man, after all, it makes more sense to like giving girls head than to hate it.

Just as long as he doesn't try to reach out to you. Now that would be submissive of him. And if there's anything Seungmin is dead set on, it's that he is not submissive. 

But days after not seeing you with Han, days of not getting a taste of the pussy that has him whipped has him doing things he's sworn not to do. He found your number, he texted you, and he's going over your house on your conditions.

He's so fucked. 

It's too late to turn back by the time he's at your front door. Seungmin only waits a few seconds before the door swings open. He's seen you about a dozen times, but it's the first time he's felt his heart swoop at the sight of you. He reasons it's just because you're in a t-shirt.

"Oh wow," you take a step back and look at him up and down, somewhat in disbelief. "I can't believe you actually came."

Seungmin can't find it in himself to believe he came here on his own violation either. "Whatever," he shivers from the cold, night air. "Are you gonna let me in or what?" 

You take a step aside to make room, "Since you asked so nicely."

Seungmin takes awkward steps into your apartment, noting the cozy setup and simple plants littered in your living space. His fingertips run on the soft material of the couch, pulling on the loose threads automatically.

You walk past him, taking a seat on your couch and reaching for the remote. "I was just about to put something on," you turn and look up at him. "Come on."

Tentatively, Seungmin walks around the sofa to you. Just before he takes his seat, you click your tongue. "Nope. On the floor." You point to the space between your legs. Seungmin hands close and open, unsure what to make of the situation. You sigh and loll your head to the side, looking at him unamused. "You gonna sit down or what?"

Seungmin glowers at you, "I am. You don't need to be such as ass about it." He grumbles a little more before bending down and crossing his legs to face the TV. "Nope, wrong way," you twirl your finger in a circular motion to indicate him to face you instead. 

He looks at you confused, "But you said we were gonna put something on." You shake your head at him, "No. I said I'm gonna put something on. I never said anything about you." A hint of red begins to show on Seungmin's face, but before he has the chance to most likely curse you, you spread your legs. 

You can practically see the words die in Seungmin's throat at the sight of your bare cunt. He acts before he can think, twisting his body fully and gripping the underside of your thighs to spread you further. It's better than he remembers.

"This is why you came, right?" You look down at him. "Missed the taste of this pussy?"

Seungmin licks his lips, nodding mindlessly. Something about taste and pussy, but he understood nonetheless. His tongue pokes out, but you grip his hair and yank him upwards. Seungmin whines, like an animal tore away from his meal, but you ignore it. "You're just here to make me feel good, got it? You don't get to cum, only I do. Do you understand?"

You have to shake his head to force an answer out of him. "Yes yes yes." He shifts anxiously in your hold. "Only you. I'll make you feel good."

Despite his desperation, you smile. "Good boy. Go ahead."

The moment your grip loosens, Seungmin latches onto your core. It's soft, it's warm, it's good. He moans into your cunt, inhaling through his nose and he dips his tongue between your folds. It's only been days since he's tasted you, but it feels far too long. How could he go a single minute without tasting you? Getting that sticky arousal on his lips so the taste could mingle in his mouth the entire day? Seungmin puckers his lips and kisses your cunt, a thank you for introducing him to a whole new world. 

Your fingers mindlessly click on the buttons of the remote as you try and find a show. You keep switching back and forth between options, clicking random buttons until you accidentally set the caption to a different language. One of your hands pet the top of Seungmin's head, pushing back his hair and twirling it in your fingers. 

His tongue slides down until it catches your entrance, barely prodding it until he slides it back up to your clit. He swirls your bud in his mouth, sucking and licking until your hips buck. "Shit," you breathe. "You really missed my pussy, huh?"

Seungmin opens his eyes to look up at you. He turns his head sideways to place your clit in his mouth, flicking your clit rapidly. That's as much of an answer as you're getting, but it does the job. He lifts his head back up and sucks harshly, pulling on your sensitive flesh before releasing it. You shiver and moan, feeling your arousal drip onto the couch that you'll make him clean up later. 

"Fuck yes," your grip tighten on his hair. "Finger me." Seungmin leans back and uses his hands to rub your pussy. His fingers rub and swirl around your core until they're drenched. He trails them down until they catch your entrance, pushing his middle and ring finger in. 

You throw the remote on the couch and grip the cushions. The stretch is slight, but his fingers are long. They reach much deeper than you could ever do yourself, and you let out a loud moan when they finally settle all the way inside. Seungmin pumps you slowly, getting used to how your walls pulse and clench around him. He watches as your cunt swallows his fingers. His cock throbs in his pants. 

"Shiiit," you throw your head back onto the headrest. "I'll cum if you keep doing that."

That's all he's ever wanted. Seungmin places his mouth back onto your clit where his tongue flattens against your cunt. He moves his head up and down while thrusting his fingers in and out. Both of your hands are tugging on his hair, pulling and pushing him away. 

"Already?" He pulls away for a moment to speak. "Didn't think you'd be this easy, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised." A devilish smile appears on his lips as you lift your head to look at him. You wish you could come up with a snide remark, but your head starting to feel fuzzy and all you can focus on is how close you are. 

You push his head back to your pussy and wrap your legs around his body, locking him in. "I'll make you regret saying that."

Seungmin laughs into your cunt, happy that he succeeded in pissing you off. Now that he's pushed against you, it's a little difficult to finger you as rapidly, but you rather like the shallow thrusts. It gives you more to clench down on and ride while he licks your clit. You buck your hips and ride his face inelegantly. The first hints of your orgasm build in your stomach, making your body feel unbelievably warm as your hips stutter. 

"Fuck," you rasp. "Imma cum." You blink a few times and lazily smile at him, "Did you miss the taste of that too?"

As an answer, Seungmin buries himself so deep into you that his nose is pressed against your clit. The extra texture is enough to send you over the edge, creaming on his fingers and twitching in his mouth. He happily gulps down your arousal, slipping his fingers out to replace them with his tongue instead. 

You just taste so good. Seungmin is delightfully reminded of how it felt to swallow you for the first time, how the taste settled on his tastebuds. His tongue scoops out the white cream your pussy flooded out and spreads it on your clit before licking it back up again. 

He hums, shoving his cum-stained fingers when you finally release him from your hold. 

Seungmin wants it again. His hands splay over your thighs to spread them. After all, it's you who gets to cum. It's only fair he makes sure you can as much as possible. But before his tongue has the chance to find its rightful place in your pussy, you snap your legs shut.

He looks up at you like a wounded dog, "Hey! Open them back up!"

Seungmin isn't sure what he's expecting to see, but it definitely isn't how you look right now. Flushed with a heaving chest, eyes that are wide and full of arousal, and a cheeky smile on your bitten lips. He's reminded of how pretty you actually are. 

"Get up," you snap him out of his thoughts. "Take off your pants too."

He doesn't need to be told twice. Seungmin rises from his aching knees and fumbles with his belt. He unties it quickly before undoing the top of his pants, shoving them down along with his boxers. You gasp, eyes locking with his cock for the first time. 

"Holy shit," you slap a hand over your mouth. He's hard. His cock is red at the tip, leaking with so much precum you think he's had to stain his underwear. You can almost see it twitching from lack of attention, begging to be touched. 

Seungmin smiles, grabbing the base and squeezing it. "You like it, huh?" It's not easy to take your gaze off his length to look into his eyes instead. The sight of him has you aching to be filled. Your pussy clenches around nothing, but you keep your nose upturned, "It's alright."

He scoffs, but the smile never fades. You widen your legs and welcome him, watching as he gets into a half-squat position to angle his cock towards your entrance. Seungmin rubs his tip over your sensitive clit. When it catches your nub, you jolt. You wrap your legs around him and bring him closer. He does it again, this time pressing the head of his cock down to apply pressure. 

You reason he's doing this on purpose. Making your pussy squelch and your hips jolt to try and get him inside. As much as you hate to admit it, he's good with his dick. Teasing you by slowly dragging the fat of his head down your slit, slapping his tip and your wet cunt. You're annoyingly reminded of what he said days ago; 'I can make a girl cum. I just don't care to.'

The words echo in your mind and you scrunch your nose. "God, fuck! Stop pissing me off and put it in already."

For a moment, you think he's going to defy you. His tip trails lower and lower until it's against your entrance. Seungmin steadies his cock at the base and pushes forwards, barely spreading you open. "Didn't think I'd ever hear you begging for my cock," he smiles at you teasingly. "You were being such a feminist the other day. What happened?"

Not-so-nice words begin to form in your head and before you get the chance to spew them out, Seungmin pushes all the way in. His cock stretches you out more than you anticipated, and it's whines that leave your lips instead. He doesn't give you the chance to adjust as he pulls nearly all the way, save for his tip, before slamming back in. Your entire body jolts and you whimper again. 

Your pussy can't keep up with his pace, but you hardly mind the pain. It blurs into white pleasure that burns hot in your cunt. 

"You hear that?" Seungmin pants through his thrusts. "That's the sound of your pussy getting fucked by an...what was it again? An incel?" He laughs as your eyes darken with anger, seething with a type of emotion you're not too familiar with. 

You reach out the grip his wrist that's placed on the side of the couch, digging your nails into his flesh. Seungmin hardly notices the pain, his teeth shining in his shit-eating smile.

The words are stuck in your throat. You want no more than to tell Seungmin how much of an ass he is, that his cock is merely adequate, but you can't. Every drag of his length rubs against your walls deliciously. You can practically feel every vein on him as he fucks you raw. He makes your hot pussy even hotter and he, unfortunately for you, keeps dragging his cock against that sweet spot deep inside you.

"You," a breath from you, "are a dick."

Strangely enough, your words seem to spur him on more. He tears his hand from your iron grip to place them both under your hips. Seungmin angles your hips upwards and drives forward, shoving his cock unbelievably deeper. Your hands shoot up to your face, trying to block all sounds of pleasure, but Seungmin can hear them. He can hear the gasping behind your fingers, the high-pitched moans muffled in your hands. 

Seungmin laughs, but it sounds winded. "A dick huh? That's funny. You seem to like being fucked by one."

It occurs to you that you've been too lenient on him. Letting him eat the very same pussy he's thrusting into, letting him fuck you raw. His attitude needs some shaping.

You let him keep fucking you. You let his cock throb and twitch in your pussy. He's close, but he's doing good at holding back. Seungmin must be used to dumping his cum and leaving, but he seems to hold out just for you. It's cute, but your plan is better. 

Your head bounces with every thrust. Seungmin makes sure to keep his long fingers at your clit the entire time, switching between pinching and flicking against it. It helps to build your second orgasm. Your jaw falls open and your moans become more frequent.

"Shit," he breathes. "Pussy gripping me so tight. Is someone gonna cum again?"

Blinking up at him, you nod. Your hand grips your chest, squeezing your boobs underneath the material as you keep nodding. "Mhm. Keep fucking my pussy and I'll cream all over your cock." That does it for him. Seungmin has been holding back his orgasm so much that his ears feel like they might burst. 

With new vigor, he fucks into you harder, deeper. Seungmin doesn't try to hide the animalistic sounds he makes, groaning and moaning as your walls wrap around his cock. "You want my cum, huh? Acting all big and strong when it's you're begging for it. Say it. Tell me you want my cum."

You don't, not because you're prideful, but because you can't. He's thrusting into you so roughly that words seem to leave you. His hand pulls your clit roughly, and the harsh tug drives you over the edge. You squeeze your breasts so tightly to anchor yourself. You can feel how your pussy floods with your cum, leaving your legs trembling and shaking. 

Seungmin can feel it too. The pulsing, the wetness. It's enough to finally let him release. His balls tighten, his dick twitches, and he-

"Pull out."

Seungmin doesn't know why he listens. He was so close to his orgasm, he could still taste it on his tongue. But your demand outweighs his need to cum. With a wail, he pulls out. A small whimper makes its way past you as he finally slips out, cock shining in your cum. 

His cock is red, rubbed nearly raw from how good he was keeping himself at bay. You can see the head of his cock pulsing, worse than the first time you saw it. A wicked smile finds your lips. 

"Do you remember what I said earlier, Seungie?" You speak with artificial gentleness. Seungmin is too busy trying not to cum, squeezing the base of his cock almost painfully. You have to repeat your question before he finally looks up to you. "Huh? About what?"

"About who gets to cum," you remind him. "Who is it that gets to cum tonight?"

Seungmin thinks back about how you presented your cunt to him, bare and wet. He briefly recalls how you said something about being the only one to cum, but he was so entranced by your sweet pussy that he hardly cared.

He frowns, face flushed. "But that's not fair! I ate you out. You came on my tongue. You came on my dick. I'm so hard and-"

"And that doesn't matter," you interrupt him. "I never said you can cum. That's your fault for assuming you could." You have to bite back you smile at his pitiful reaction.

Even with his dejected look, you can't help but find it somewhat cute. You fake a pout and click your tongue, "Poor thing. Here, kisses will make you feel better."

Seungmin wasn't sure what he was expecting, but it wasn't you widening your legs and him falling to his knees. Yet, he does just that. You feel his warm, wet tongue on your throbbing clit. Sucking and licking eagerly like he forgot about the aching cock between his legs. 

You fondly brush the hair from his face as he eats you out for the second time tonight. His eyes look up to you with your clit in your mouth and you shiver. Seungmin will be a handful for sure, but you can't help but think you've found the perfect diamond in the rough.

a/n: omfg I actually had a whole different idea but I scraped it and did this instead :p. if you wanna ask for a third part, please don't, I have no more plot for this fic tags: @mynsung, @andassortedkpop, @jminnnnnnn, @geneziesm, @applekiwi3202, @i6gyuu, @lazycarolinamoment, @lewoh-ot8-wh0re, @ihave-atummyache, @seeeeking-skz, @loeyscock, @blankdyean, @dini-recs, @yzsqu, @desirehorizon-recsextra a/n: I need to start asking if people want tags rather than looking through my comments and see who was asking for a pt 2 :(

#smut #skz smut #stray kids smut #skz #stray kids #skz seungmin #stray kids seungmin #seungmin x reader #seungmin smut #seungmin #seungmin stray kids #seungmin skz #seungmin skz smut #skz hard thoughts #skz hard hours

[satocidal]

Trying to get Their Attention|| Jujutsu Kaisen Men x GN! Reader

Tw: !NSFW!MDNI! Geto Suguru; Toji Fushiguro; Satoru Gojo x AFAB! reader (seperately)—slut/whore calling; hinted overstimulation; edging; slight humiliation; use of sex toys; absolute filth in certain parts; Gojo takes photos and records you (consensual); spanking (only a little); use of spit as lube in Toji’s part; probably has typos

Geto Suguru:

Callous fingers drew small circles on his thigh—so pathetic, his eyes called out, a sharp glance.

“Su’ please,” you whined- biting back a gasp as your orgasm inched closer.

“Wanna cum on your finger Su’” any and every sense of self-respect had left you- just the thought of phre bliss and pleasure on your silly little mind.

Suguru never replied—but you knew what he say- “last time I checked princess,” ‘princess’ he called you when he was annoyed, “you had no issues whoring yourself out with your legs spread wide open and the vibrator stuffed into my pussy.”

Ah yes—the same old, he wasn't punishing you, no—hed never dream of that; he was merely punishing his property.

“I'm sorry,” you'd begged hundred times and Suguru just wouldn't budge—sitting all so still as he pretended to listen to that stupid podcast about cats—while you were on your knees, a vibrator inching you to your third orgasm with suguru- whilst being swollen and sensitive from the ones you'd given yourself too.

And just something told you, if Suguru didn't budge this night—youd spend at least a week this way.

So while you begged and moaned and whispered around his leg, Suguru smirked and raised the temperament, a laugh dying in his throat as you gasped.

“Please,” you’d said, clutching his thigh—your orgasm right there—until it wasn’t.

Suddenly the vibrator went off, and it was then that Suguru leaned down, “Please what, princess?”

At that instant you could’ve slapped him there but it’s only end up bad for you—“please what hm?” He asked again.

He laughed at your desperation and pout- “weren’t you begging for attention just now? And now that I’ve given it, you don’t want it?”

“You wanted to cum on my fingers? Hm? Become my slut?” He smirked and squeezed your cheeks, “how bad because that just means you won’t cum at all.”

Gojo Satoru:

You watched with desperate tears in your eyes as he left you with the dildo stuffed into you—“That’s what you imagine right?” He had asked roughly—his large hand slapping your ass, the handprint still prominent—“his cock rutting into you pathetically?”

Gojo Satoru was simply prone to getting jealous and you loved every piece of it—even when he would tie you up with his blindfold and gag you with your own soiled panties.

You could only watch closely as he stroked his own cock- sparing not a single glance at you—eyes fixated at the screen where he watched porn.

You lay in the face-down-ass-up position with your hands tied as well—your whole clenching on the dildo desperately.

You knew he felt all so smug, watching your trying to hump so as to get some relief but you failed to achieve any.

He set his phone at the highest volume- the moans in the video turning you in more as you only wished to ride Satoru the way he watched the woman in the video do so.

Every once in a while he’d come back to stroke the dildo up your cunt- spanking you again- not letting your ass lose its warm pink hue. Right then he’d also grab your hair grinding a little into you—to remind you of what you were missing.

He would also make sure to take photos- to add to his collection of everytime he punished you—only for him to make you watch them the next morning.

And lords forbid he finds you wet after making you see these photos—be prepared because he’ll do it all over again to his needy whore.

However, Satoru doesn’t stop there—he won’t talk to you at all, just would pull your panties out of your mouth as he strokes the dildo into your pussy, and slowly rubs your clit—all the while you beg and plead and moan as he records your moans and send them to whosever he was jealous of.

A reminder to them that he’s the only one who can make you sound so pathetic and a reminder to you that he can make you so desperate without his cock.

Toji Fushiguro:

Moans spilled from your mouth- obscenities as he pumped into you hard and fast- not a words escaping him today.

You were confused initially, to say the least, but as his rough hands pulled your hair- not a single word from his mouth reaching your ears, you realised, he was mad.

And he was Toji Fushiguro after all, so a normal communicative method was not something that struck him so here you were—bent over the couch of a room he’d rented—your filthy juices staining the arm rest as he mercilessly fucked you.

His big hands closed up on your neck- choking you a little as slapped your face lightly every-time you moaned his name.

You’d have wondered why ever it was that he was mad but the pace he was using simply made it impossible to think—Toji was hell bent on fucking you stupid and that’s what he did.

You called out to him a hundred times- begging him to tell you what was wrong but he simply chose to abuse your little hole- not even touching your clit which he usually devoured.

You could feel your legs going numb and mostly, Toji switched positions by now— knowing your discomfort, but not today.

He grabbed roughly onto the flesh of your ass- sure to leave a bruise there—you could feel him pull out momentarily as he bent down to spit onto your cunt—using his spit to lube you up- he once again entered you, stretching you open and shoving his fingers in your mouth as you got louder.

In that moment, as you reached your orgasm and your mind went numb, you realised that Toji wouldn’t stop until you were a mumbling mess for him to play with

[he was mad btw, because you didn’t call him the day before<3]

All of this work is entirely original and my own—please refrain from copying or reposting.

Likes and reblogs highly appreciated!

#jujutsu kaisen #gojo x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #geto suguru #geto x reader #jjk gojo #jjk smut #jjk geto #jjk x you #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk suguru #jjk satoru #jjk toji #jujutsu gojo #jujutsu satoru #jujutsu kaisen x gender neutral reader #jujutsu geto #jujutsu toji #jujutsu kaisen smut #geto suguru smut #gojo smut #geto smut #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #jujutsu kaisen toji #toji smut #gojo satoru smut #getou suguru

[berriweb]

╰┈➤ ❝ GRAVEYARD SHIFT SHENANIGANS ❞

: ̗̀➛ ft. johnathan ohnn (the spot) x gn! reader

: ̗̀➛ warnings. y/n is strapped, johnny gives second hand embarrassment

: ̗̀➛ note. if you were the one getting robbed instead, i didn’t proof read this so if you saw a typo no you didn’t

only the restless and the crazies are awake at 3 am, and the only thing that those have in common are that they both have nothing better to do with their time. what does that make you?

The streets were quiet.

If you were lucky, every so often you’d hear the sounds of a car speeding down the road (likely well above the speed limit) or groups of people shouting and ranting while searching for a cab or an Uber after a long night at the bar across the street. It was rare, however, and you were more often than not left alone with your own thoughts to drown out the sounds of the fluorescent lights above you buzzing unnecessarily loud and the quiet pop songs playing on repeat from the speakers mounted in the ceilings.

Anyone else would run from the idea of being left in such a dull and lacking environment, but for you the nights spent sitting idly behind the counter waiting for the rare human interaction was necessary to keep your lights on and your ass out of the streets.

When you’d first heard the corner store was looking for a new employee to work the graveyard shift after the last worker quit due to a recent attack from a rouge villain that left him too paranoid to run the store alone, you were heavily against the idea despite your friend’s insistence that it was good money and she knew you needed it after hearing your previous complaints about your current job not being enough to cover both your bills and your meals. Knowing how prevalent crime could be, especially considering the part of town you lived in, who in their right mind would accept that job offer?

Luckily for you, you didn’t seem to be in your right mind. After a few convincing words and a quick interview with the grouchy owner of the store, you were welcomed with somewhat open arms and after two weeks of half assed training, you were successfully spending nearly all of your nights running the corner store after the sun went down.

Now it’s been two years, and as much as you love the security you feel knowing that you’re good at what you do, it can tend to get a bit boring on quiet nights.

You’d take the silence over the nights where you’d get visits from shady men coming in to withdraw a questionable amount of money and drug addicts who’d harass you for a few dollars to get a fix or were just completely off their rocker.

To make up for the lack of entertainment, you popped in an earbud and put on a podcast to drown out your thoughts, mindlessly flipping through the same magazines you’d been looking through for the last 4 hours of your shift. At some point celebrity drama had become more boring than the silence so you resulted to working on the puzzles and mind games on the back, so consumed in a sudoku game that you almost didn’t notice the sound of the scratching of metal and the small rusted bell jingling as the door to your store creaked open. As soon as it registered, you set the book down, sitting up, alert and ready as you eyed the new customer who had the pleasure of gaining your attention for the next few minutes they’d been in.

If there was one thing your shitty training had taught you it was to keep an eye out and be observant, more often than not the creeps came out at night and the last thing you wanted was to end up on the news with a bad id picture because you didn’t notice a man entering the store with a gun cocked and ready.

As a result, you’d gotten pretty good at profiling some of your customers and taking note of things that most people normally would pay no mind too. This man was no different.

Your alarms went off the moment he walked in, but you weren’t exactly sure which red flag set it off. Maybe it was the way he was dressed, in a big blue brown coat covering most of his upper half with the collar popped to hide his neck, topping it off with a brown bucket had covering most of his hat and what you thought were sunglasses. Maybe it was how you couldn’t tell what the glasses were due to his head being tilted down and his gaze locked on the floor and his own two feet. Or it could’ve been how you couldn’t get a good look at his bottom half aside from what you believed were black spotted white pants due to how quickly he scurried to the counter, his entire body tilting under your gaze as he seemed to be really shifty and refused to meet your eyes.

The only physical feature you could really make out about the person was that they were really, really pale and just from your angle you could tell he was a decently tall man.

“How can I help you?” Were the first words you chose to utter to him, trying to get an idea of what he wanted and why he seemed to be so nervous and fidgety, outlined by the way his hands messed with the hem of his coat.

“I- um,” he cleared his through, and you could sense the nervousness in his voice. His tone was light but held weight like he was hiding something or was guilty of something worse, “where is your restroom?”

What were the odds that he actually had to go? You’d had your fair share of people with the same mannerisms asking for the same thing and majority of the time they were using in the restroom, leaving you to pick up after the mess of tissue and needles, or worse, they’d leave behind, but something in your gut told you that wasn’t the case, and you couldn’t refuse him service based on a hunch.

Reaching behind you without taking your eyes off the man, you opened a drawer and pulled out a rusted keychain, clearing your throat and holding it out for him. “In the back, first door on your left, try not to make a mess,” you instructed and nodded your head towards the open corner in the back of the store.

With a small thank you, the unknown man quickly snatched the key from your grasp and made his way to the back with haste, though not without you notice the strange texture of his skin for the brief moment your fingers touched, and not without him eyeing the ATM machine he passed on his way back.

What was his deal?

A few minutes had gone by since he went to the back. You’d paused your podcast and sat silently, your gaze constantly shifting from the front doors to the back as you waited for him to reappear. Your negative attitude might have been uncalled for, he may have just been a regular guy who stopped at the first place that had an available bathroom, but you knew better than to be that hopefully. Moments later after you’d returned to your magazine, you heard a door open and footsteps, followed up by buttons clicking and pointed beeping noises. When you looked back, he was out and standing in front of the ATM, hesitantly pushing buttons.

You couldn’t tell if he was trying to make himself seem busy on the machine or was really anxious about pulling money. It could’ve been the case that he was taking out a lot for something that wasn’t exactly legal. Drugs, a sex worker maybe? It was none of your business, so long as he kept it out of your store.

You turned back to your magazine to avoid him noticing your constant staring, but about a minute later you perked up at the sound of a loud screech, silent curses and the sound of loud banging. Your senses heightened as you turned around again in your chair, and it took a moment to process the sight in front of you. The man had managed to climb on top of the machine, or at least that’s how you assumed he got up there, jumping up and down on the machine in a hurry. It was hard to piece together until you realized that the machine was now halfway through the ground, courtesy of a large black gaping hole that you were certain wasn’t there before. What the hell?

Your hand reached for the drawer under your register faster than you could process, being far too use to this drill. Your hands searched the drawer without your eyes leaving him before pushing it closed after discreetly pulling out your weapon. It wasn’t often that you needed the gun, but it’s better safe than sorry.

Quietly, you stood up from your chair and left from behind the counter, sneaking up on the man by tiptoeing through the aisles. Assuming he was a criminal, he wasn’t very good at keeping an eye out as he hadn’t noticed you creeping up on him from behind until you were mere feet away and turned off the safety, raising your arms with it pointed at his head. Unnecessary? Maybe, but you weren’t dumb enough I charge unarmed, not if he could be a serious threat.

“Freeze!” Yikes, maybe that was too officer-ey? Your tone was assertive, but your assumption that he could be a hero deflated and was thrown out the window as he reacted far too slow, turning around nearly jumping out of his (pants?), letting out a scream that could put a little girl at Disneyland to shame. His arms flailed and he lost his footing on the ATM, falling over only for another portal to open on the ground and swallowing him whole. He reappeared in a portal on the ceiling behind you and you jumped, turning around just in time to see him fall through, his torso hitting the top of a shelf and sending all of the condiments falling before he hit the ground. You couldn’t help but wince, that had to hurt, but kept your grip on the gun firm as he struggled to his feet.

Leaning against a display to pull himself off, he mistakenly put too much faith in the rickety stand and it toppled over, bags of snacks matching the other items scattered on the ground. He let out a groan of pain and when he stood, somewhat fully as he seemed to have bad posture, you watched the now broken sunglasses fall off of his face, or rather lack thereof, his hat falling to the ground.

He had no face. Where it should’ve been, there was a large, black gaping hole with no way to see anything inside. In fact, it wasn’t just his face, as you soon came to realize that he wasn’t wearing pants, those dots were his skin. He had no human distinguishable features, what you had assumed to be pale skin was actually paper white, decorated with black hopes all across his legs, seemingly his entire body. His coat still remained, but you were willing to bet that his torso was covered in the same holes as the rest of his body. If not for the humanoid figure, voice, and his clumsy personality you wouldn’t have known he was human, assuming he was.

“Wait wait wait! Please- pLEASE don’t shoot! I’m not dangerous I swear I’m a good guy, well I’m not because I’m robbing you but I’m not really robbing you-” as he seemed to start to ramble on, the confusion started contorting your face and he seemed to notice, laughing nervously with his hands still raised as he took a step back. “See, I’m not really a criminal but because I look like this now no one will hire me and I have to resort to robbing stores to support myself, you know?” As he spoke he attempted to shake an empty can that his foot lodged itself in, leaning down to pull it off while keeping a hand up which reminded you that you still held him at gun point.

While you were still only beginning to process what the hell was going on, you hypothesized that the more stressed or worked up he seemed to be, the more out of control his holes became, as the seemed to shift and swirl on his body more and more as he continued to rant. “I’m kind of like my own Robin Hood, you know the whole steal from the rich give to the poor? Except I kind of am the poor, at least I am now. I used to have a good job at Alchemax before they turned me into this, but I can thank Spider-Man for that too-” Alongside that, they popped up far more often, proven by how he suddenly toppled into another, emerging from the wall next to you and hitting the floor head first, wincing as he stood up, this time without the can, it instead falling from a different hole that appeared next to his head, hitting him square in the face before disappearing into another hole.

Without realized it, your arms slightly lowered and you resulted to watching the poor man’s sad attempts at controlling his mutation/power, finding it both pitiful and amusing. “But that’s besides the point! You really shouldn’t shoot me I swear I’ll be out of your hair, which looks great- by the way, as soon as I can I really don’t mean any harm!”

Pulling his arm out of a half closed hole, he suddenly straightened up, managing to stand in one place without being thrown around like a rag doll. Silence remained as you seemingly stood still and stared at him for what seemed like an eternity but was only a few seconds before you pursed your lips, looking down as a hand came up to your mouth to muffle the sounds.

“What- what are you doing?” He questioned you, and while there was no expression on his face you had a feeling he was looking at you with a puzzled look, only for his question to be answered when you suddenly doubled over, the muffled snicker turning into chuckles, which lead to giggles up until you were howling with laughter, hardly able to catch your breath. You left him standing there thinking you must’ve lost your mind. “Why are you laughing?!” You could only respond with more cackling, leaning against a wall and inhaling deeply to make up for the lack of air you could consume.

“What’s so funny?! This isn’t a joke!” He sounded both surprised and slightly offended, which you felt slightly bad for but given his methods you couldn’t help it, and by the time you started to calm down as he stupidly stood there, the pieces seemed to finally click on everything he was telling you, from what you knew anyway.

“Are you sure?” Were the first words that left your mouth, and he seemed baffled by your reaction. “Yes I’m sure! What’s your deal? I’ll have you know I spent a lot of time planning this out!” You highly doubted that.

The holes were definitely hard to get your mind behind, but as your brain tried to process you suddenly reminded the can while a portal, unbeknownst to you, opened up behind you. Where did it go?

BANG!

A sharp pain raced through the back of your head and the man’s hands went up to where his mouth would’ve, or rather should’ve, been. “Ohmygosh I am SO sorry, I swear I didn’t mean to!”

“Yeah, I figured!”

Reaching up to feel the back of your head, a throbbing pain settled in, but luckily no blood so you deemed it safe. You didn’t have to see it to hear the apologetic tone in his voice, and after that entire fiasco you could only feel bad for the poor guy. He clearly hadn’t been built for a life of crime, but unfortunately decided that it was his path.

“Listen,” you got his attention by showing off you lowering the weapon, before nodding your head up towards the ceiling and giving a pointed look to two corners of the store. “The cameras in here are really old, they don’t have audio and the video quality is horrible. I can edit the footage to an extent before I leave, but if the time gap between the frames is too long it might get suspicious and I’m not losing my job over you.”

You slowly raised your weapon as you looked back at him, turning the safety back on. “I’m going to act like I’m holding you at gunpoint and threatening to call the cops, all you have to do is snatch the gun when I ‘accidentally’ drop it, kind of switch the roles around, you get me? I can get you some money from the safe before I call the cops but you have to be quick-”

“Wait, hold on, you’re helping me?” He asked incredulously, his shoulders falling as he pointed at his chest. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes.

“I am, you honestly don’t seem like a bad guy and it’s not coming out of my paycheck, so long as next time you try to pull this you don’t do it here.”

If he had one, his jaw surely would’ve been on the floor. “I can’t even begin to thank you, you’re a saint! Is this a trick? I can’t repay you for this-” he started on again, but you cut him off be gesturing towards the weapon again to remind him of your words before dropping it.

Luckily for you, he was able to catch on pretty quickly and took the gun. His acting was mediocre at best, but you doubted anyone would look at the footage closely enough to notice how amateur he seemed as he pointed it at you, he hadn’t even turned the safety off. He demanded you take him to the safe before you reminded him that the cameras couldn’t hear him and there wasn’t a need for the menacing voice, to which he sheepishly apologized. After letting him stuff his pockets with as many of the bills as he could fit, you yelled to stop him before he could race out the door.

“The gun. I need it back.”

“Oh, yeah, right…” he chuckled and left it on the counter, taking a few awkward steps back. Your curiosity got the better of you and you leaned forward from behind the counter. “You did a whole lot of talking but I never got your name.”

Flustered, he seemed to point at himself as if he were confused on why you were asking him, but replied, “I am…the Spot.”

The same feeling bubbling up in your chest as you eyed his stance and the sudden voice change, you brought a hand up to your mouth, and his shoulders fell yet again.

“You’re seriously laughing? Again?!”

“No! No, I’m not,” you tried to defend, but the giggle you let out before clearing your throat and biting back a smile said otherwise. Luckily you were able to control it this time. “It’s just- what kind of awful parents have the honors of giving you that name?”

“It’s my villain name! Not my real one!” He hissed.

“Then what’s your real name?”

He looked at you puzzled, possibly wondering why you wanted to know so much, but at the same time it’d been a while since anyone had shown genuine interest in him so he obliged.

“Johnathan.”

“Johnathan,” you repeated slowly, as if you were resting out the name in your mouth, making his stomach warm up with an indescribably annoying feeling. “Alright, Johnny. Have a good night. You might want to get lost before the cops show up.”

He turned around as if to leave before pausing yet again, turning his head back. “Wait, I never got your name?”

“Then I guess you’re going to have to come back another time to find out.” Bold, and completely not your style, but something told you that you and Johnathan were going to get along nicely. “Preferably not to rob me though, and without making a big mess I have to inevitably clean.”

You gestured to the mess of food and other miscellaneous items that had fallen off of mostly toppled shelves, and Johnathan gave a sheepish apology. “I’ll be back.”

“I’m counting on it.”

He disappeared into the night, or rather a black portal that opened under his feet once he stepped outside, and you were once again left sitting behind the counter and alone with your thoughts, the sounds of distant sirens getting louder every second, only this time you had something to look forward too the next time you clocked in and the Spot had a new motivation for his newfound criminal activity.

#across the spiderverse #atsv fanfiction #spiderman atsv #atsv x reader #spider man #the spot #jonathan ohnn #johnathan ohnn x reader #spiderverse the spot #the spot across the spiderverse #the spot x reader #the spot atsv

[l0verboyxoxo1111]

Enchanted by you

“Demise the passion before it kill you”

Pairing Vox X gn reader X Alastor

Warning smut, long fanfiction, mention of Valentino

Vox pov:

“I think this was the first time I have ever looked at him after we broke our contact, I know he never looked at anyone or ever picked anyone from all over hell to be his own. women were climbing over him from every direction but he never looked at them nor at the men. so who are you? Y/n? And how did you get his attention?

A first look at you without just from hearing the rumors about how gorgeous you are made me realize, what he saw in you. you are spectacular. Not only in terms of the beauty of the speech, hearing your podcast and the creepy singing that you used to deliver on my podcasting app was bursting with fans.

Everything about it was old, but so innovative. but despite everything, I still didn't understand why he chose you? What is still so special about you beyond these things? Alastor is not protecting you, no. Although, of course you didn't need protection. As a strong overlord as yourself.. so strong that rumors has it that you managed to outwit every overlord that crossed your path, impressive. But of course the rumours of your closeness to Alastor also put everyone else off. I took my hands off the screens in my room whose following your steps and, him. I'm getting too obsessed and all this just for Alastor? Couldn’t be,

I groaned from lack of sleep. I have decided it was time to give myself a break and to go away from everything who messed up with my mind at this moment, I got out of the room, seeing Valentino looking at me "Carñio~” he chuckled at me “again locking yourself up in the room and masturbating from anger, when you have the real thing here?~" I looked at him with a despairing look "not the right time Val." He rolled his eyes "as if you have any proper time at all." He lit his Joint. bypassing the smell of smoke all over me "Anyway” he took a puff as he rolled his eyes, “remember you have to present the Vox Tech idea to Carmelia at the club today." He lit the Joint who was starting to lit off.

Fuck fuck fuck. I forgot about it, I was so busy spying on him and his new toy thing, that I didn't remember what my plans were, and I have so much to go through- if I want Carmilla to cooperate with me,

Val and Vel don't know about this little obsession of mine with Alastor and his little mate, at least not for now. I started giggling in despair.. but I'll make it all right, whether it's my crappy hours of sleep between stalking you and trying not to fall behind on my work And fucking work on the materials I need.

I started to get ready, sometimes, if I have to be honest, I hated Valentino's club. everything was so loud and desperate.. with horny demons who hadn't had time to fuck in the last ten hours. That they get an erection of seeing other demons full of HIV shaking their asses

I glanced at Angle Dust who had passed in front of Valentino, Valentino keeping him as a toy for a sudden thrill while I'm on my business away from him. I looked back, and saw Valentino pulling Angle from the collar on his throat, pulling him to his crotch. and sitting him there, against his will.

I rolled my eyes and went towards the bar taking a glass of whiskey, waiting for Carmilla to arrive I sat down on one of the couches near me Carmilla arrived equipped with her dominant behavior, I smiled broadly at her reaching out "Vox" she barely smiled "Carmilla!" It's good to see you" she shook her head "A bit of a strange place to do business isn't it?" She looked sharply at me I grinned "We have an office one floor down, if you'd like a more private place to chat in." She looked to the side examining the place

"We can go over there but soon, I heard that this friend of Alastor's is supposed to appear here today right?" My eyes opened in shock, "What?" She chuckled "You of all people don't know that Alastor has a partner? I expected you to be the first to know, of course it wouldn't have seemed understandable at all that he was dating someone, but it's probably for some sort of exploitation assignment, who knows?” My breathes got heavier, what does that mean? What does all of that mean? Why are YOU coming here? To one of MY places without my knowledge? I wasn’t ready.

I didn’t even knew why- suddenly out of the smoke who filled the entire club I’ve seen a figure. your presence was warping me and choking me at the same time, when the view got brighter I could have seen you more clearly long bunny ears and eyes with an e/c who was pierced though my own eyes, I thought only my world stopped for a second while I looked at you, but that was an ugly lie. Everyone stopped what they have done to stare at you.

Everyone glancing some fearing you some looking in a seductive way at you, some are just appreciating you. And more and more. Even Carmilla has looked at you clearing her throat, I moved my look from you, looking to the side seeing Val getting up, what was he doing for satans sake? My breath got shorter and heavier and i couldn’t even think why? Maybe because it was the first time to see you not though my screen maybe the realization that hit me understanding you are here without Alastor.

And so many other things. Valentino got closer to you saying things I couldn’t ear, I wanted to get closer to check who you are, but like others who were at the club I feared for some reason, did Val knew you? How was he not afraid to get talking with you? Haven’t no one told him you were one of the most strongest overlords?

I shook myself from my overthinking, trying to focus about what Valentino was saying to you. Within seconds you shook his hand, smiling slightly. He got away from you, as I looked at Carmilla who was hypnotized by looking at you, you never went to the overlords meetings, others said you were to busy for that others made other conspiracies, I smiled slightly at Cramilla as I excused myself so before we will continue to talk, I will grab myself another drink,

of course I haven’t planned to only get a drink, once I got up I ran up to Val who was seating following your moves with his eyes, he moved his head to me “Oh Mami have you finished already with Carmilla?” He looked pleased I tagged him by the fur on his neck “WHAT” I breathed harshly “is. Y/n.. doing. in our club?!” He pushed my hands of his furr “Linda Y/n came here to present their new song~” he lit a cigarette as he took a long puff I felt myself almost screaming from the lack of knowledge I was having, he kept talking,

“Anywho , I offered it. I don’t know why are you so pissy- having this bebé~ showing in here tonight is the biggest highlight that have ever happened to this club!” I started to clam myself, maybe you weren’t here to terrorize what i have built. maybe you were only here to show your new song as Val says? Why am I so.. worried? I shook my head of course I would be! You are Alastor’s partner! I can’t think your intentions are good.

I looked at Carmilla who looked around she seemed to get tired with each second who passed by from waiting to me, I can’t stay with stupid Val here. Not for much long, if I want to lose a deal. “Val I swear to god if you ever do shit like that again without letting me know I’m gonna-“ Val rolled his eyes “get back here when you are clam and ready to suck me off Cariño” he chuckled and waved bye to me had he headed back to Angle. I went back to Carmilla “sorry it took me so long, Valentino did some shit I had to fix, anyway sorry for the interruption where were we at?”

We kept our conversation on as I presented her Vox tech telling her more about the new features, I was so focused as suddenly a loud letter and a sound of a microphone was all around us.

The entire club was silent focused on you singing heads turned around as if it was the most interesting thing that have happened I looked at you standing on the stage with a beautiful f/c outfit who made you look like the prettiest demon I have ever seen. My breath stopped for a second as the sound of your voice left your mouth, shivers went down my spine your voice was even more charming in love it drew everyone at the club, hypnotic and beautiful. I couldn’t stop listening to your words

“enchanted by you, everything blurry it’s so cruel”

I followed your lips feeling myself getting lost in them

“how I can mange staying up on both of my legs when you getting away”

the song and the beats mixed with my heart beats the chorus kicked in and took my very last breath.

“Can you hear me screaming please don’t leave me? Can you feel me when I’m all over your dreams?”

Within a minutes or two going on the song ended and your presence has disappeared with the shadows and smoke who covered the stage from before, and I felt empty needing to get more of you.”

A/n hey! I hope you like the first chapter, let me know if you would like another chapter! Thank you for reading it! Sorry if there’s typos :)🫶🏻

#vox x you #vox x valentino #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vees #hazbin hotel velvette #hazbin hotel valentino #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin hotel #vox x reader #hazbin alastor #alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor x reader #alastor x you #alastor x vox #long fanfic

[bmbochangetales]

BMBO FM I need your help I'm trying my daily run and it's a struggle to get motivated today. I would love it if you could play Tag you're it. That song always makes me run faster.

I’m no longer accepting BMBO FM requests. I may bring this interactive back at a later date but for now this and several others that I got earlier will be my limit until my move is complete.

**************

“Let’s get some motivation to all those runners out there, try not to get lapped, but if you do, “Tag You’re it”, enjoy”

It took you hours to get out for your run today. You had a rave coming up and really needed to go though. After hours of pushing it off, you headed to your favorite running path. A few other runner were there running the long looped path. You saw a male and female couple, two college girls, a solo guy and a solo girl.

Running on the path, you were going to use this song as a sprint. You really wanted to do this workout as fast as you could.

You but your headphones in and luckily the song was already queued up. You set off.

You quickly caught up to the couple softly talking to each other as they jogged slowly together as you slipped passed them with ease.

“Honey we really need to clean up the house when we get home”

“Or we could…you know”

“Shhhh people will hear you”

You rounded a corner and into a wooded section you were catching the two girls just casually waking. Probably only college aged or freshly graduated. You quickly over took them.

“I can’t believe he wouldn’t call me back. It’s like he just wanted sex, no just to cum, he didn’t care about me.”

“Guys are just gross and selfish. Maybe you should try girls like me.”

You picked up your pace trying to get this lap in. You saw the single man stopping at some equipment in the park to get some training moves in. He was buff and you could loudly hear his podcast playing out. Explaining how to pick up girls and reminding him that men were superior.

You saw the other girl running in the distance but she turned the corner and you seemed to have lost her.

One lap done, one to go for this sprint.

You came across the mistress and her cute little pet.

“Walk on your leash like a good girl. Mistress will reward you later.” She gave her per’s head a pat and the one on her hands and knees yipped and yapped excitedly.

She rounded the corner again and there was the happy couple.

“I just want to have my cock pumping you full, I want to see you getting bigger and rounder.I’ll let everyone know you take my cock so well”

“God please fill me up, I’ll be a good breed slut. Fuck me full of your babies I want to show everyone how good your cock is”

“Of course you do. You want to grow my children and keep your tits large and filled with milk.”

You came upon the equipment again. The himbo was there listening to his podcast. He was laying on a bench meant for sit ups, stroking his cock according to the commanding podcast reminding him that he was just a silly boy, women were superior.

You were nearing the end of the course and the song. You had lapped all the runners twice. Except you missed one…the lone girl. You were almost there when she flew up your left side. You could have sworn you heard her say “tag you’re it” eerily like the announcer. Maybe she even winked at you.

You felt tingling. You just keep going forward as the shorts and top shrink down. Your body begins to get harder to keep in proper form as your breasts becoming the size of melons. Their bouncing is hypnotic as your try to finish. You ass swells as your pussy begins to drip down.

You finished your sprint but you couldn’t ignore the feeling any more. You fell to the grass and the tiny top let your much improved tits fall out. You began vigorously rubbing them, bouncing them around. Your mind not caring anyone walking by, in fact you hoped they would enjoy the show.

One of your hands slipped down into what was supposed to be a pair of running shorts but your new curves were too voluptuous that they were just lewd with your body spilling out. You were busy rubbing yourself to climax so all passersby could enjoy the show. You couldn’t stop the first time or the second. You kept coming over and over again. Until you passed out until some time later.

You sat up and looked around. Why were you at the park in your high heels and sluttiest bikini? You couldn’t think. Oh well, it probably wasn’t important. But since you were here, you might as well find some fun friends to play with. You wanted to share you’re body.

#my writing #my story #interactive #bmbo fm #bimboification #himbo #couple

[kudosmyhero]

Legends of the Dark Knight (vol. 1) #137: Terror, part 1: The Blood-Bat

Read Date: January 19, 2023 Cover Date: January 2001 ● Writer: Doug Moench ● Penciler: Paul Gulacy ● Inker: Jimmy Palmiotti ● Colorist: James Sinclair ● Letterer: Kurt Hathaway ● Editor: Andrew Hefler ◦ Harvey Richards ●

**HERE BE SPOILERS: Skip ahead to the fan art/podcast to avoid spoilers

Reactions As I Read: ● (cover) Hugo's head sticking out of the water like that amuses me greatly ● (pg 2) that sleeve is pretty damn skintight if we can see Batman's veins ● (pg 3) not a single word of dialogue or narrative yet. very refreshing, considering all the 60s stuff I've been reading! just some sound effects and beautiful art ● (pg 4) waaaaait, what's going on here? ● (pg 5) ha! I didn't expect that when "Batman" turned around!

● (pg 10) I guess there are pros and cons to going after the sellers or the buyers first ● (pg 12) Batman doesn't kill, but he'll light your ass on fire ● "Flamethrower's effective, but too extreme." - Ya think? ● (pg 14) Howdy, Gordon! ● Batman and Gordon at the scene where Bat-Hugo Strange killed a guy ● (pg 15) Gordon is still a captain ● Gordon looks great here:

● (pg 16) Gordon: I hope you're wrong. / Batman: I'm not. - Batman is nothing if not self-confident ● (pg 17) I'd forgotten entirely about Strange's, um, significant other ● (pg 18) a little info about Strange's victim: Sebastian Cole, a widower left with profound grief trauma after the death of his wife. Aww… poor guy :( Underwent 3 years of therapy… with Dr. Hugo Strange. ● wtf are Catwoman's boobs doing? ● Two-Face, Scarecrow, and Joker are still "safe and unsound" in Arkham ● Strange got himself some fake credentials--"Victor Absonus"--and just landed a job at Arkham Asylum ● he is interested in meeting Jonathan Crane asap (yusss Scarecrow!) ● he's meeting with Crane and has put him under hypnosis, and he's giving him a handful of straw every time he visits ● aaaand he's reawakening Scarecrow from Crane's psyche ● 👏👏👏

Synopsis: A man in a Batman costume enters a creepy-looking house which sits secluded on a small hill. He moves into the bedroom upstairs where he kills an old man using a dagger with a bat-shaped hilt. The murderer is Hugo Strange and his revenge on Batman has begun.

At night, Batman is busting some drug dealers and he takes them down using his Batboat. Though he is successful, he warns himself not to go overboard with all his new gadgets. When he sees the Bat-Signal, Batman meets with Captain Gordon who shows him the murdered old man. The dagger and a bat painted on the wall with blood is making it a little too obvious that someone is trying to frame Batman. Both men argue that Hugo Strange may not be dead after all. Indeed, Gordon later finds out that the victim named Sebastian Cole unterwent three years of psychiatric therapy with Hugo Strange as his doctor.

While Batman also goes after Catwoman who draws more and more attention because of her increasing number of burglaries, a disguised Hugo Strange begins his new job as psychiatrist at Arkham Asylum. His first patient is Scarecrow and using hypnosis Strange tries to eliminate the fear Jonathan Crane has regarding Batman …

(https://dc.fandom.com/wiki/Batman:_Legends_of_the_Dark_Knight_Vol_1_137)

Fan Art: DDF2013 - Day 5: Hugo Strange by BloodySamoan

Accompanying Podcast: ● Batbooks for Beginners - episode 10

#dc #dc comics #my dc read #podcast recommendation #comics #bruce wayne #batman #comic books #fan art #hugo strange #podcast - batbooks for beginners #legends of the dark knight #marvel #marvel comics

[danthropologie]

I watched the podcast and daniel def tries to deflect from those questions and is (imo) very uncomfortable and laughing in awkwardness - def not excusing it tho!

immediately putting it under a cut so people that don't want the discourse can ignore 😭

a couple things i want to say before i say anything else:

these are just my opinions about it. i don't expect anyone else to agree with me, and honestly, i would encourage other people to form their own thoughts and opinions, cause everyone is going to respond differently.

i'm just gonna say it once for the record and then i'm moving on. we're not dwelling on it, i'm not open to further discourse about it, please don't send me anything else about the situation or about anything i've said here because i will be ignoring and deleting it.

now on to the asks themselves:

ok so here's the thing: yes he did deflect to a certain extent, but to me it read more like someone that's been pr trained out the ass and knew that certain jokes or topics were toeing a line they shouldn't touch than actual genuine discomfort, especially as the podcast went on and the jokes kept being circled back to. there were multiple instances where, in the midst of these long misogynist bits from the hosts, he'd sit back and joke about how he's getting a free comedy show. there was the way that after they'd finally moved on from that first, long ass bit and started asking him genuine questions, before answering, he brought it back up to jokingly ask if they're done with that topic now, which of course brought on another round of the joke. and then add to that the comments about bringing them out to a race and wanting to hire them as his personal shit talkers on the grid and things like that...it just felt like there was a constant stream of, like, endorsement of what was happening from him (which of course there was cause he's literally the one that chose to go on there in the first place!!)

i do still like him, but it's also a lot more complicated for me than it was before. like on one hand, it’s been acknowledged over and over that this sport is literally garbage from top to bottom, these men are not the place to look for moral guidance, etc., and so i’m not necessarily surprised by any means when something like this happens, especially considering the fact that this is not the first time he’s said or done something stupid and it probably won’t be the last either. but on the other hand, when it comes to this situation specifically, for me there’s just something so visceral about watching a man in his position—someone with a largely female fanbase that he’s actively and directly profiting off of through his merch—finding that sort of shit funny. it’s gross, it’s shitty, it doesn’t feel good to me, and it’s one of those things where if i knew someone personally that had done the exact same thing, i’d be reevaluating where i stand with them yk? so right now, i’m kind of at the point where i’m still working through those feelings and trying to figure out if this whole situation is something i can personally move past. but either way, i think i’m definitely gonna start thinking twice before giving him quite so much of my money 🤷‍♀️

nothing to add! the whole thing is genuinely just so stupid to me on every level and i can’t imagine what he or anyone on his team was thinking booking it. like you said, even if they agree with it or find it funny or whatever the fuck, you’d think there’d be at least one person with enough of a brain cell to say ‘hey maybe it’s actually NOT a good idea to endorse this publicly.’ but as i said in that post, not surprising that this happened (and that it’s not the first time he’s been on a questionable podcast in the first place) when he’s surrounded by such a homogenous group of yes men 24/7 lmao

i’m saying this with all the love in the world: i really REALLY think that’s a decision you need to be able to make for yourself, rather than be told by someone else. everyone’s going to have their own perspective and their own feelings about it—some people are going to say he deserves to be cancelled, some are going to find ways to excuse it or justify it or explain it away, and others will fall somewhere in between—so the most important thing is figuring out what you feel based on your perspective, rather than just following some herd opinion about who qualifies as a Good Person on tumblr dot edu yk?

#dan #answered #anonymous #once again do i tag this anti ricciardo #just in case people don't want to see it #idk

[clarks-letterman]

(let’s hope it doesn’t glitch out again- needed to put it all together to make it copy so sorry if it is all jumbled)

YOU GET IT ! ! ! ! EXACTLYYYY im a total bottom but then guys like johnny are…and i totally get what you mean ‘cause same here - wouldn’t top but men like johnny who would power bottom and still be dominating i could potentially be up for😭😭😭 ‘was so confused and was thinking am i a bottom or what but yeahhhhh there’s only a few characters i could be open to doing that with so im still just a bottom🫣 AND OH MY GOD OUR PODCAST CAN BE CALLED ‘Total Bottoms…However…’ PLZZZZ….and im so curious how far johnny would take it ‘cause you know he’s got his personal ego to boost-🎀anon

ohhh nooo but trust me i understand the struggles of tumblr😭 i loathe writing fics on here cause they don’t save or disappear or something ridiculously annoying. i write on apple pages now and omfg the messenger on here too is so ass

BUT YESSS i’d be open to johnny bottoming- especially if it was forceful😵‍💫 like threatening and making us lay down while he rides us. plus, i just think it’d be funny because Johnny seems like a top who would be very against anyone touching his ass (even bottoms who want to smell/put their face to it), so to see him get bent over and put in his place with all of his protests about doing it being dead serious. like he’ll kill you… after you’re done fucking his hole for the first time. now, i still prefer top dom!Johnny but that’s why i like it personally😵‍💫

and yeah i’m definitely a bottom, it’s just a few characters who i want to top. Sam Winchester and Peter Parker would be dom bottoms for sureee😩

ANYWAYSSSSS YESSSS!!! that would be the perfect name!!

Like, Johnny would lose and then switch it over to, “well, whoever’s hips smack the hardest against the reader’s ass is the true winner” and then they take turns fucking you but Johnny is a total hog and goes first, and doesn’t pull out for a whileeeee, and Leland just sits there watching and begrudgingly stroking himself😩🤭 just a thought about him taking it too far

obviously, he could go to violent extremes too!

[munstysmind]

https://at.tumblr.com/tr33-g1rl/weird-asks-that-say-a-lot/71ulmnww9fer

G'day Munsty!!

1, 4, 5, 7, 9, 12, 13, 16, 19, 22, 25, 27, 31, 34, 37, 43, 44, 48, 54, 59, 60, 63, 65, 68, 71, 77, 72, 84, 88, 93, 96

😈🤣

You're a menace!!

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Water bottles. I have a collection. It's starting to become a problem 🤣

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

"quiet" "a pleasure to teach" but also "has great potential but needs to apply herself more" "needs to focus in class" "excels at x but not yz" AKA all the classic struggles of an undiagnosed child with ADHD.

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Tumblers count as plastic cups right?? because every drink I consume is put in one.

7. earbuds or headphones?

Headphones. Earbuds irritate my tragus and daith piercings and i have little ears so they're always falling out.

9. favourite smell in the summer?

The bush. Specifically the bush at our cabin in Echuca.

12. name of your favourite playlist?

"Car Songs" on my Apple Music.

13. lanyard or key ring?

Key Ring. I'd get caught left and right if I had a lanyard.

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Cross legged. It's the only position that doesn't cause pressure on my hip so I'm always in it.

19. sleeping position?

On my back like a dead person 🤣

22. role model?

My grandma. I've looked up to her since i was about three. If I ever need advice, she's my first call.

25. first song you remember hearing?

The Little Mermaid soundtrack. That movie was on in our house on a daily basis.

27. favourite activity to do in cold weather?

Curl up on the couch in my Oodie and read

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Honestly, no idea. I don't go out very much. Probably jeans and cool printed tee

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

NOT HAPPY JAN - Yellow Pages Ad - YouTube

Reading Writing Hotline.mpg - YouTube

Carlton Draught | "Big Ad" - YouTube

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Duffel bag. I have become skilled at fitting a lot of clothes into one

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie. Storm Hoodie to be exact

44. favourite scent for soap?

The Body Shop Satsuma and Lush Snow Fairy

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I’d probably be a Mango because of how much I eat Mangos 🤣

54. what did you learn from your first job?

That Child Care is way more than just playing with kids all day. Some aspects of the job can be extremely hard.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“For Fucks Sake”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Ummmm… I don’t think I’ve ever seen any type of Anime. My brother would be so disappointed in me 🫣

63. five songs that would play in your club?

65. any permanent scars?

One on my left shin from where a top a chunk of skin out when I was shaving, a few in my knees from being a clumsy child and two puncture scars on my left hand from that time I rolled into my cat in my sleep when she was a kitten and squashed her

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Sarsaparilla and Aniseed. That’s shits nasty AF 🤢

71. least favourite pattern?

Those bright trippy ones that make your eyes go funny. They give me migraines.

72. worst subject?

Funnily enough, English. I am a terrible speller and nothing ever made sense to me.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Pothos. It’s the one plant I can completely neglect and will continue to thrive if it’s in the sun.

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts. I can skip them if the topic is boring. Can’t do that with live radio.

88. your greatest wish?

Happiness. It’s basic yes, but all I really want in life is to be happy.

93. nicknames?

Munsty, obviously, and Chicken Lips or Chick. Thanks Mum 😐

96. desktop background?

#munstysmind #ask game #inbox

[sunaswife]

Summary: It’s been five years since you’ve seen your ex, Rin. He’s still not over you and you’re not over him. When he finds out you have children he thought he didn’t have a chance. Then he finds out they’re his? All of a sudden you’re teaching Suna how to be a single dad.

note from denise: TAGLIST CLOSED

Warnings: Fluff, angst I guess, drama, and cuteness twin overload

Previously Up Next Masterlist

Chapter seven

“Alrighty give mommy kissy.” You squatted down. Both of your kids tackled you in a hug and they kissed your cheeks. You kissed them back and pulled away. You watched as they walked to the bus.

Even though they’re homeschool, they offered a program where your kids can still go to class in person once a week so they can socialize and it won’t affect their mental health. After talking to another mother who put her kids in the same program, she recommended it and you decided that it was best.

Your kids already socialized in their volleyball practice but it wouldn’t hurt for them to talk more with other kids.

You saw as Rini helped his sister up the bus first and blocked the back of her skirt from showing her shorts underneath and you lowkey wanted to cry because he was such a gentleman. He then got in and they sat together on the right side of the bus and they waved you goodbye. You waved back and the bus began to leave.

You sighed and turned back home. You washed this morning’s dirty dishes and cleaned a bit around. After you were satisfied with the presentation of your house, you made your way to your small studio office and began answering more emails and writing topics for the new podcast episode you and Jamie had to record.

You took another sip of your barley warm tea and finally you heard the doorbell ring. You glanced at the time on your watch and realized it wasn’t 12 yet, it was probably Jamie.

You carried your laptop and placed it on the dining table and ran to the door. “I’m coming!” You yelled as Jamie rang the bell again. You opened the door revealing your two best friends and you were shocked to see Hana. She’s your best friend from highschool, the one who blocked the boy’s numbers and let you spend the night when you got kicked out.

She was also the one who was rooting for you and Suna but she was more than furious when she found out what happened. You called her on New Years and started balling your eyes out.

You told her to never date boys cause they sucked but little did you know she had a big crush on you. You were her first love.

I guess you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. So when Rin started to take your attention, she felt jealousy and loneliness but your happiness mattered more than her selfishness.

She became a fashion major in University but dropped out because she didn’t like what they were teaching. With the bit she learned and already knew, she turned into art. She made beautiful leather pieces of lingerie with straps and belts and lace and the models needed dramatic makeup and hair. And you happened to know an amazing makeup artist.

That’s where Jamie came in.

And eventually they fell in love.

Hana is always busy with her lingerie company since everything is hand crafted and not made in a factory like Jamie’s makeup products. So that’s why it was a shock to see her here during the day at least. “Come in come in. Mi casa es su casa.” You said in broken Spanish and they laughed.

Jamie sat on the dining table and sighed. She rubbed her baby bump and you asked if she wanted something to drink. You got her water as well as some wine for Hana. “So they’re really coming over?” Hana asked as she opened Jamie’s laptop and set it up for her wife.

“Yeah I hope so. If they flake I’m not gonna give him another chance. I already told the kids he’ll be here and they’re excited.” You said and she nodded. “Good.” Hana replied. You and Jamie began reading eachothers notes and topics regarding the podcast. “I think Hana is gonna have to take my place on the podcast if I pop.” Jamie mentioned randomly.

“Hell no.” Hana immediately said. “That’s a you two thing I’m not getting into it.” Hana said sternly. “But Hana, since Jamie got pregnant. You didn’t have a face for your spicy lingerie line. So I temporarily replaced her. Surely you could do the same!” You exclaimed and she rolled her eyes. “Speaking of lingerie I have something I want you to try for the next photoshoot. I’ll go get it after my smoke.” She said and you rolled your eyes with a nod.

“It’s pretty hot, like a harness thing on your wrist that connects to your thighs.” Jamie spoke up as Hana left. “Where does Hana come up with these things?” You asked and Jamie made a smirky face. “Nevermind I don’t wanna hear about your guy’s sex life.” You shuttered and she snickered.

Hana got out your front door, walked to her fancy Mercedes and took out the gift wrapped box as well as her favorite pack of smokes. She sat on the small bench in the front of your house and she lit the lighter, breathing in the nicotine. She sighed and wondered if you’re going to be okay with your ex seeing his kids.

If it was her she would refuse to let him see them and take it to court. But you weren’t like that. You always had hope and patience that you’d meet Suna again someway somehow.

She heard a car door slam and looked up to see the three tall figures get out of a car. She exhaled the smoke and they looked up to see her. “It’s been a long time, huh?” She tilted her head to the side and Suna scratched the back of his neck as he neared. “Hana I—I’m sorry for everything.” He said. “I trusted you with my best friend and you hurt her. I don’t think I could ever forgive you for hurting my first love like that.” She spoke bitterly and put out the cigarette in the small froggy bowl turned ashtray that the twins made.

“First love?” Osamu asked and Hana stayed quiet and motioned for them to follow her. Suna didn’t know what to say, after you left Hyogo Suna began bugging her for answers and she went off on him once and that’s when he realized that Hana was gay and in love with you the whole time.

Immediately when the door opened they heard yelling and singing. Obviously confused the boys looked at eachother but Hana seemed unfazed, she’s used to her wife’s chaotic nature and even though you’re pretty quiet and collected you make a complete 360 with Jamie around. You were both like Yin and Yang.

“Shh she’s been trying to get this song down for weeks.” Hana whispered as the boys followed through the small hall. They looked at the photos that adorned the wall and they saw baby photos of Suna’s kids and they truly looked like him. From the corner of his eye, Suna saw a photo of you with Shawn Mendes and smiled that you finally had a chance to meet your celebrity crush.

Suna nor the twins didn’t know what to expect when they saw you again. But they were shocked to see you in your true nature with studio headphones over your ears as you sang each note higher and higher. Jamie was yelling and slamming the table with her palm encouraging you to keep on going. Jamie used to do that in parties, drinking games were her favorite.

You finally finished the song and you took off your headphones and started screaming. “SIX WEEKS IT TOOK ME SIX FUCKING WEEKS TO COPY IT TO A T! I DID IT OH MY GOD!” You yelled and Jamie yelled again too. “BITCH I TOLD YOU YOU COULD DO IT BUT YOU-“

“SELF-“ punch

“DOUBT-“ punch

“ALL-“ punch

“THE-“ punch

“TIME!” punch

“Alright alright I get it goddamn—if you weren’t pregnant you know I would punch you just as hard.” You scowled as you rubbed your arm. “Sorry y/n.” She apologized and chuckled. “We’re not interrupting right?” Hana spoke up causing you and Jamie to turn. The three men stood behind her and your face fell. The air shifted and you suddenly felt cold.

“No just work stuff.” You said and you quickly stood up. “Welcome to my home. You’re welcome to sit at the table.” You said and closed your laptop. “Would you like anything to drink..?” You asked, trying to be hospitable and Hana scoffed. “Give them water, you don’t have to be nice to them.” Hana said and she sat by Jamie. You bit the inside of your cheek and looked at the three men. “Water is fine..” Suna spoke up and the twins nodded.

“Sit.” Jamie said and motioned to the dining chairs. They all sat awkwardly while waiting for you to come back from the kitchen. You had your tray with their water, more tea for you and Jamie, and a glass of wine for Hana.

“Alright where do we start..” you said as you sat down next to Suna since that was the only empty spot. “The beginning.” Jamie shrugged. “I already explained what happened. I told her everything.” Jamie told the boys and immediately Atsumu scowled. “Knowing you you probably made yourself sound less bad.” He muttered, immediately Hana was about to say something but you interrupted. “Did you make the bet?” You asked the blonde, “Y..Yeah..” he frowned and shifted in the seat awkwardly, “Did you accept the bet?” You turned to Suna. “Yes..” he said guiltily. “Did you think Suna would win?” You asked Osamu. “Yeah.” “Jamie Did you think pissy— I mean Atsumu would win?” You asked her and she sighed a yes. “And did you all bet with money?” You asked. They all replied with yeahs and yes’s.

“Did you guys agree to quit because it was wrong?” You asked and they all nodded. “Then that’s all that happened. I don’t need to know anything else.” You explained.

“Look guys.” Jamie spoke up and she tapped her manicured fingers on the table nervously. “It took a long ass time for Y/N to forgive me and trust me, I ruined her life and I’m blessed to have met her. Without her I’d probably still be in an abusive relationship. Without her I wouldn’t have learned how to be humble and grateful for even waking up in the morning. She’s my best friend and I’m telling you straight up if you truly want to be her friend again. You need to work for it, Suna if you really want to be in the kids lives and earn Y/N’s trust you truly need to work for it.” she said almost desperately.

“If you ever disrespect her again. I will not hesitate to sock you in the face and I’ll call up Tobio if I have to. That goes for all of you.” Hana told the three men.

“Do you guys have anything to say?” You asked. “I would apologize but I’d rather let you see it than hear it.” Suna spoke up and you nodded. “Alright.” You said simply.

“I’m sorry, Y/N-cha—I mean Kageyama.” Atsumu said. “I’m sorry Kageyama.” Osamu finished and you nodded once more.

“Okay this is awkward. I forgave you guys a long time ago but I don’t trust either of you. Atsumu, Osamu you are not obligated to be my friend. Suna you aren’t obligated to be my friend either but I would appreciate it if we were civil with one another for the sake of the kids. If you ever have any questions regarding the kids I’ll be happy to answer.” You told him as you played with the tea bag in your cup, and they all stared at you.

Like that’s it? You forgive them? You’re not going to throw your tea at them?

“Um I kind of want to ask about the ya know..”

“Pregnancy?” Hana raised a brow and Suna nodded awkwardly. “Like when did you find out....and is that why you left?” He asked. “If its alright can we talk about that in private?” You asked and stood up. “Y-yeah sure.” Suna stuttered and he stood up as well. “Hana, Jamie you don’t mind—“ “The bus honks at 13:30 we know. We’ll be able to hear it.”

“Yeah and we have a lot of catching up to do.” Jamie fake smiled and you wanted to snort at the her disgust and their awkwardness. “Alright follow me.” You motioned down the hall. You opened the door to the kids room and you took a step in. He followed you and closed the door. You both released a sigh and you sat on Akira’s bed. “You can sit there.” You motioned to your sons bed.

He nodded and sat on the small bed. “Okay so..the pregnancy..” you started. “Mhm.” He nodded. “I found out on January 25th, I wasn’t feeling the best for a while and I couldn’t handle the discomfort anymore so I went to the hospital with my mom. The doctor asked me the basic sex questions and tested my urine. My mom came into the room when I was told the news and I was basically disowned.” You sighed and leaned back against the wall.

You hugged your knees to your chest. He could already feel the shame you must have felt in his chest. “I had to walk to the pharmacy in my school uniform to get to prenatales since my mom told me to walk home. When I finally arrived home, my room was trashed and they were asking if you happened to be the dad. I told them no. He even threatened to kick me out and I told him I didn’t know so I was kicked out and I left. I spent the night at Hana’s and the next day I resigned as the team’s manager, and gathered all my papers to transfer.” You said and he rubbed his face and sighed.

His birthday.

You found out on his birthday.

He patiently listened and asked a few questions here or there and before you knew it you barley heard the faint foot steps and the door bursting open. You both turned to see your guy’s kids standing there. “See I told you they were talking.” Akira mumbled. “Aunt Hana said something about them making out.” Rini huffed.

“She said making up not out! Are you an idiot or an idiot?!” Akira said slightly frustratedly. “I’m older than you, don’t call me an idiot.” He said and shoved her. Before you could scold your son, you saw Akira’s whole demeanor change and you knew Rini was fucked. “How many times has mom said to stop shoving girls and pushing women! If you keep at it than you’re going to be a bad husband to your future wife someday you stupid Rabbit!” She yelled as she tackled him and began smacking him around. “Get off me you nerd!” He yelled and you quickly pulled Akira away.

Rini began crying and Akira did too and you sighed and turned to Suna.

“Welcome to parenthood.”

🏷: @therealwalmartjesus @differentballooncollection @aaesuki @atsunflower @dope-squish @prettysetterboiss @june-phantom @tomo-uwu @austriasmariazelle @xrnia @katsulia @aprettyfruit @shut-your-eyes-kiss-me-goodbye @tvbiio @sun-daddy-yoriichi @kamenoyaki @ppangiiroo @loeyprivvv @kmskj92 @lovinnoya @sarahvvictoria @tris-does-stuff @mokkeguts @sunaluvr6969 @bara-rose-would @sempiternal-amour @volleybloop @leykyuu @bokutoichigo @stfucanunot @iloveanime691 @tpwkatsumu @ohshirabu @shoutosimp @mqrinqcele @bokutosdivineass @anngelllla @toworuu @hidden-otaku-stuff @seijohiselite @caxsthetic @aquariarose @hhwanggu @bakuhoetoedoroki @yoozuku @osamus-onigiri @akaashi-todorki @donica95 @kakaokenma @airheadpillar

#haikyuu suna #miya atsumu #suna rintarou fluff #suna rintarō #suna x reader #haikyuu x you #miya osamu #suna imagines #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!! x reader

[uomo-accattivante]

Great comprehensive interview with Elvira on the making of The Letter Room and filmmaking, in general. One interesting tidbit mentioned: she is currently developing a podcast about sex. 👀🤔

For most of her creative life, Elvira Lind has been behind the the lens compassionately capturing true stories as a documentary filmmaker. Her debut feature, Songs for Alexis, observes two young lovebirds navigating a long distance relationship and challenging views on gender identity in the modern age. While her sophomore feature, Bobbi Jenne, explores the life of a famous dancer fighting for her own creative and personal independence.

Despite her prolific doc work, a story that couldn't simply be told in its raw form kept circulating in her head: a dark prison comedy about the secret life of a correctional officer trying to bring humanity to the prison system. When he gets transferred to a job in the letter room, he finds himself a little too involved in the private lives of the inmates.

Far along in her second pregnancy, and with the support of an incredible team of collaborators, Elvira took on the challenge of writing and directing her first narrative short, "The Letter Room." The film stars Oscar Isaac and Alia Shawkat, and has had an all-star festival run, screening at Telluride, Tribeca, and the Palm Springs International Film Festival. Here, Elvira reflects on the joys and challenges of creating your first short film—putting empathy first, reshaping the tropes around pregnancy, and screening in the COVID era.

FTW: How did you become a filmmaker?

Elvira Lind: I’ve always loved film. I was very drawn to documentaries because it felt like you were entering something that was really happening. You opened a door and were already inside the film. You’re just trying to keep up with what’s being thrown at you. As opposed to fiction where you have to conjure it up from nowhere. I loved imagining and writing stories when I was little, but I didn’t have the confidence to pursue it.

I didn’t come from a family of filmmakers. And I came from a time when people had a little shitty camcorder that you borrowed from someone’s uncle, and buying film was expensive. Things opened up and changed a lot when cameras became more accessible.

I could only afford one year of film school in Cape Town, where I met some amazing people and learned about so many different ways of storytelling. I came back to Denmark and found myself working for free a lot for other filmmakers while doing a side job. The paid work was very hard to get, but I’d rather work for free with filmmakers that I loved and have more responsibilities than have access to nothing. It wasn’t easy to find my way in, but it’s so worth it. 

And now you live in New York. How does this global background affect your general filmmaking style and approach?

I definitely bring a lot of Danish documentary traditions with me and hold it very dear. There are a lot of kick ass female documentary filmmakers in Denmark that have taught me a lot. There’s a good support system for women there. It’s an incredibly privileged place in that there’s funding from the government to make films. You can make things that, in my opinion, are often far more interesting because it’s not reliant on how it’s going to make money in the box office.

You’ve shot many of your documentaries in the past. So what was it like this time to be working with a cinematographer?

I always wanted to work with a cinematographer on my documentaries; we just couldn’t afford it. Now for “The Letter Room”, I worked with Sam Chase, who has got such a brilliant eye and it was wonderful to have someone to work with on composing the look of the film because I’m usually doing it by myself. It is kind of like a marriage. I work with the same editor on all my projects as well. You enter this symbiotic sort of dance together. For me, it also means you have to fight about things and disagree and then make up and hear each other out. My editor, Adam Nielsen, is the kind of guy who just comes up with genius ideas while in the shower or on the way home from work on his bicycle. You have to find these key people in your life where you can bounce ideas back and forth with.

Where did the idea for “The Letter Room” come from?

It was a story that was brewing in my head for a long time, but I wasn’t sure how to put a narrative film together. I just started to write it down and then it kept developing.

There was a podcast that I listened to that really inspired me. It told the story of different men who were all unknowingly writing love letters to the same woman. She started to ask for money and help with rent, but the letters she wrote were so wonderful and all these men were very in love with her. These very lonely men felt like magic had entered their lives. They all eventually found out that the woman was actually a man writing to different people trying to get their money. They were all heartbroken, but one of the men said that the worst part was losing these letters and that the fantasy was gone. He wished they could just keep writing to each other. So much of life is fantasy and trying to live through other people’s lives. I’m very drawn to stories of loneliness and bottled up feelings.

And then I am firmly against the American prison system. It’s heartbreaking, frustrating, and I can’t make sense of it. How do you even begin to explain this system to a child?

It’s a society that doesn’t care about humanity. I wanted to show the monotony, the repetition, the sadness. I don’t see the bigger goal or purpose of locking people away for countless years  and taking away all the things that makes you feel human, that makes life joyous. I really believe that we can all change and this system teaches people nothing. “The Letter Room'' is the combination of these two concepts that I’m very passionate about.

And then I got pregnant for the second time and I hadn’t made a film between the two. It was a crazy feeling to be taken over again by pregnancy. A wonderful friend of mine, Sofia Sondervan-Bild, came to me and said, “I think you should make this film and I’ll make it with you.” Initially, I freaked out and thought I didn’t know how to do fiction and doubted how I could make a film in a prison, but she inspired me and told me to do it. She’s just one of these incredibly powerful people that you want to go on an adventure with. She made me feel like my pregnancy wasn’t going to stand in the way of me making this film. We ended up shooting while I was far along in my pregnancy in a prison in the middle of a summer heat wave. It was crazy, but it was the best thing that I could’ve done at the time.

When you were directing on set at that stage of pregnancy, did you feel like you were reshaping tropes of what women are capable of? 

It was insane. The funny thing was that the crew was like, “we can’t complain that we are tired because she is extremely pregnant and still running around.” I was so high off of that experience. When we finished, I collapsed. I fell straight onto the couch and then I have a two and a half year old screaming my name. That was more work for me than directing the short. I edited the film right before I gave birth actually, and then I gave birth and did sound right after. I was pumping breast milk in the corner in the darkness during the sound edit.

I’ve learned a lot from surpassing whatever I thought was physically possible with being pregnant. I learned that being in a creative process gives you so much energy that it allows you to be in whatever shape, size, form, mental space you can. People are ready to give you their support, if you choose the right people. I’m really grateful that I chose such wonderful collaborators who supported me through it all. Even when people were questioning my choice to direct a film while being pregnant in a prison. Why not? Women get pregnant and then we still need to be supported so that we can continue to make the things we want to do.

What was your experience with getting “The Letter Room” funded?

It’s really hard, let’s be honest. There aren’t a lot of people sitting around waiting to fund a short film. We ended up working with Topic, which is a part of First Look Media. They are just incredible and really support filmmakers with whatever their vision is. I’ve had great experiences and some really bad experiences with funding, so I know this was an ideal scenario.

Having a short that is over 30 minutes long seems like a feat. At what stage in the process did you know this was going to be a longer piece? And how did that decision affect the shoot in both positive and difficult ways?

It was way too long at first, and when I shortened it, it was still 32 minutes. We could only afford five days of shooting, and a lot of it is shot on active prison grounds, which have an insane amount of protocol. We almost used everything we shot.

I’m not used to being able to have different angles to choose from in my doc work, so I think I just knew exactly what I wanted. I know that my producers were worried that I wasn’t getting enough, but to me, I was like, I’m getting double of what I usually get on a documentary! Everyone was quietly concerned, but everything worked out when we got to the edit.

The short’s length hasn’t done any favors for me so far, but you need to breathe as an audience, you need to pace it out. If I cut out certain minutes, it would’ve felt rushed and you wouldn’t have believed the arcs that the characters had.

I loved the concept of placing a very empathetic character in a setting that is contrary to that personality type. You included so many details that made the world feel so three dimensional and cared for. Can you talk about those decisions to create that feeling?

It means so much to me that it made you feel that way. What frustrates me about the prison system is that it lacks any empathy or understanding of human nature and nurture and who we are. What we need to become better people. It takes all of that away.

I spoke to people who have spent a lot of time in prison and they told me that you have to hide your feelings and that showing any signs of weakness will be a disaster. It’s the worst possible scenario you can imagine yourself in. Being robbed of every privacy, anything that makes you happy, anything that makes you feel like yourself. I imagined the character of a caregiver in this setting who wants to help and finds a silly way to do so. I was very inspired by that story of the love letters that I talked about earlier. What does it mean to lie if you’re making someone else happy?

It’s the morning of your first day of the shoot — how do you feel?

I was very nervous. I had never said ‘action’ before. I’ve been on a lot of sets, but I didn’t want to seem like I didn’t know what I was doing, but it’s also okay not to know. Mistakes are going to happen, and sometimes they become gifts. At the same time, I was very excited. You come in and there are all these people there with you who are there to make this thing you’ve written come to life.

What are some things you would do on set to create a safe space and vulnerable environment?

We did everything we could to make the set a safe space. It was very difficult and stressful to shoot in an active prison, but we made sure to actively ask our crew if everyone’s feeling okay and if we can do anything to make the situation better. I’m very vulnerable and encourage all of my crew to be vulnerable with me. Mistakes are welcome.

It's a short film, people come and work on this not because they’re making a million dollars, but because they want to be there and are being incredibly generous with their time and energy. It was such a good environment that even when challenging things came up, it was still a lot of fun.

What was it like working with actors for the first time?

That was one of the biggest challenges for me. I’ve heard so many different stories in passing of the least helpful note or worst thing to say to an actor. You want to be respectful and actors have their way of working. Ultimately, they are all really talented actors and all of them came with so much energy and a lot of ideas.

I spent time with each of them talking about their character. Those 1 on 1 conversations helped me a lot in the writing process as well because you’re bouncing ideas off of each other and they’re asking you questions about how they would respond to a certain situation.

I had always imagined Alia Shawkat as Rosita and she ended up wanting to do it and came from LA to film it. I had tears in my eyes when we were filming the scene of her and Oscar. They were excited to do the scene together. It was all a dream.

What was the experience of working creatively alongside your partner like?

We were joking a lot about it before because there was already the stress of being so pregnant and we have a 2 year old at home, and now I was putting us in another highly intense and demanding situation. Either it was going to be great OR we would drive each other nuts. But we had so much fun. It was wonderful to work together. I was so happy to be on set and make my film and he’s just so talented and fun to be around. Those little moments where you know each other so well—I’d give him notes and he just kept surprising me and was so respectful of my directions.

He found this photo for him to connect to the character and it became very fundamental to me. It was this incredible black and white photo from the 70s of a prison guard. I had always imagined that he would have this inner salsa soundtrack playing in his soul and we would play Rubén Blades and 70s salsa music and Oscar just morphed that into music into everything and created this unique character. 

And he was wearing a fat suit the entire shoot and I was pregnant and Alia Shawkat had her pregnant belly on. The three of us—it was so funny.

It seems like the perfect first experience of going into narrative with people that you really trust and support you.

Definitely! Find the people that you can team up with that really believe in your vision and who will push you to do exactly what you had in mind. People who never try to push you into these conventional routes. Our creative voices are so fragile. You want to be on the same page so that they see what you’re trying to do and want to bring that out of you. Where they’re treating your film as a sacred thing that you’re creating together.

How do you know when a film is done?

Fiction is very different from documentaries. With documentaries, it never feels like it’s done because there are so many options. That’s also why I love fiction so much; It’s so much faster. It’s a whole different beast to tame a documentary with hundreds of hours of footage where you’re reinventing the wheel every day.

How have you built up your own confidence as a director and your unique voice?

Stubbornness. I’ve had many experiences working with people who didn’t believe in my project. You have to stick to your guns and trust your instincts. Once you find your voice, you find people that want to go on that ride with you and find your vision interesting. It’s a miracle when any of us gets a project made, so your confidence can’t come from how much money your movie made. It has to come from somewhere else. Did you do justice to the people you portrayed in your story? Did anyone walk away feeling like something had changed within them?

What is a good director to you?

Someone who is driven with passion without letting that passion take over and become any source of frustration that’s taken out on other people. It should feel like a collaborative effort. And having gratitude every day that you’re making something with other people who are donating their time. You’d be nowhere without them. One of the most important things is making sure that your crew is treating everyone equally. It depends on the size of the production, but having someone who can sense what’s happening in all different departments and having department heads that are there to protect everyone. Listen to each other, and make sure everyone feels safe and is in the best place to be creative.

With COVID, what has the adjustment been like to being in an online space for this festival run? 

I’m really deeply saddened by not having the human interaction aspect of it. It feels so crucial to be in the room together, to meet and see each other's projects and share the experience, to cry and laugh next to people you don’t know. I’m grieving to be honest. We just gotta get through this time. It reminds us of how sacred it is for us to gather and how that feels, and I hope that all of that will come back after this and that cinemas will survive. We really need them.

What’s next for you?

Right now I’m writing more fiction and working on a new documentary feature that I am kind of researching and shooting at the same time. I am also creating a podcast about sex, called “The List” with my friend, writer and photographer Kirra Cheers, based on a book and play she wrote. My husband and I just started a production company together, Mad Gene Media, in order to develop and produce our own material. So. lots of exciting things to continue with in the new year.

Born in 1981 in Copenhagen, Elvira Lind graduated from School of Media and Creative Arts in Cape Town in 2006 majoring in documentary film where she received two awards for her final year achievements. She has worked within that field since directing and shooting documentaries of various lengths for TV, cinema and web on 4 different continents.​In 2020 she premiered her first fiction project, a 32 min short film she wrote and directed. The film was sold to Topic and was invited to various festivals including Telluride and Tribeca FF. Elvira's feature doc BOBBI JENE premiered at Tribeca Film Festival in 2017 where it won all awards in its category including Best Feature documentary, best editing and best Cinematography. The film had theatrical release in US, Spain and Scandinavia.​Elvira's first documentary feature Songs for Alexis premiered at Toronto HOT DOCS in 2014 and screened and competed at a long list of international festivals. Her 8 part documentary TV series "Twiz and Tuck" was bought by VICELAND and launched in 2017. Elvira now lives and works out of New York.

###

#oscar isaac #elvira lind #the letter room #mad gene media #interview

[vallygirl285]

Gee Thanks for Whacking the Hornet Nest That is the SPN Fandom Jensen

Now I'm starting off saying I am not an ANTI Jensen person. I don't dislike him; I just don't go out of my way to follow him...most of what I see is because mutual post/re-blog his stuff.

So yesterday some podcast he did over four months ago was released. UMGGGG...seriously I could have gone without all the drama but yup I'm a glutton and I read what came across my dash.

I'm not going to rehash it all...just not worth my time and energy but again it was recorded four months ago and supposedly both men have moved beyond the incident (both have claimed they are good, and I wasn't in the room with them so I'll take them at their words) so maybe their supposed fans could do the same and just move the fuck on.

I mean if they choose to move past it, to be friends (again this is the narrative both men have gone with be it true or PR who the hell knows) then I doubt they need their supposed fans to hold a damn grudge for them.

These are grown ass men with families and careers. I seriously doubt Jensen (or Misha either to be fair) is sitting in a corner of his house wallowing in hatred and jealously toward Jarod and measuring his life against Jarod...I know hard core Jarod fans envision this but really that is just your little fantasy.

You don't like Jensen...don't follow him or his excessive fans on social media. You don't like Jarod...again don't follow him or his excessive fans on social media...same goes for Misha.

I've never shied away from saying I'm an anti-Misha person. I block and filter so that his stuff doesn't hit my dash as much as possible. If a mutual who does like him/destiel and reblogs things I don't want to see...I go to the original account check it out and if I see it's pretty heavy Misha/Destiel I block the account, so I won't see it when mutuals re-blog them.

Filters and blocks are your friend's people use them. Jarod, Jensen and Hell even Misha don't need any fan to fight their personal battles it's between them and them alone.

Just enjoy who you enjoy. Ignore the others as much as possible. Don't follow who you don't like on social media...don't follow his/her fans. Use your block button and filters. It really does make life better I promise.

But as usual the SPN fandom is exhausting.

#anti jared hate #anti jensen hate #spn #anti spn hate #it's been over a year can we just move on

[justyourlocalweirdwriter]

chuckle week - chapter 1

"Welcome everyone, one and all, to the very first episode of chuckle week! On our very beautiful set here! We're here baby!!", Ted said starting the 22nd episode of their podcast.

They had finally made it. Meeting up for the first time in ages, after having been torn apart by the pandemic as well as the fact that they all live in different states, they had finally made it here.

All of them sitting in the GameGrumps' building in front of a massive neon sign displaying the name of their podcast proudly.

That was definitely the first thing that caught Charlie's eyes when he had walked into the podcast space: it was quite the set.

To be honest he was still reeling a bit from seeing Schlatt in person again for the first time in two years. The man had only grumbled and walked on when they finally shared the same space again, but ever since, the two of them have been naturally gravitating towards each other, even sitting next to one another.

Schlatt had been acting a bit differently over the past week or two.

The persona he had in the podcast group chat had shifted from an exhausted uncaring businessman that makes a lot of sexual references about men, to an equally exhausted uncaring businessman that seems to take every opportunity to make sexual references about a man. Charlie. If it were anyone but Schlatt, Charlie would have even called it flirting.

They have always jived well with one another though; their senses of humour and online personalities are at their best when they are put into one space, regardless of if that is IRL or on a screen, so Charlie didn't think too much of the whole thing.

To be fair; if Charlie was entirely honest with himself, he liked the angry guy a lot. There was definitely something about him. No way in hell is he going to ponder that right now though: it's go time!

"It finally happened, we're finally chuckling!", Charlie says as they all clapped, falling into the natural flow of their podcast.

"Today we're starting off our wonderful week of- of glory, beauty, love and friendship with our very special guest,", Ted continued, introducing William Osman, what a wonderful dude, by the way, leaving the others to brush past his mention of deeper feelings of love or friendship.

Schlatt's words washed over Charlie whenever he spoke.

(god how he missed this, just actually being with people other than the ones in his immediate local vicinity. hearing them talk in real-time. being close enough for their calves to brush together under the desk. fuck quarantine, man).

Charlie was getting used to catching himself staring at Schlatt again and again, having to tear his gaze up from Schlatt's lips to his eyes more than once.

The podcast is chaotic as always, Schlatt and Charlie bickering as they always do, but time and again Charlie found himself siding with Schlatt in all the bits that come up.

And while his nerves were acting up a bit at the beginning given this new scenario, it was exhilarating to be in person with these amazing people again.

Things get a bit weird for them too though. It's all bits, but the combo of Arnold's cock and comforting Schlatt, in his grilled onion related time of need, does something to Charlie's emotions.

As he holds Schlatt close, he feels as though the bit had gotten a bit too real when he felt a pang of protectiveness over Schlatt in his chest.

"You guys look like a married couple right now," Ted comments, smirking, but before he can finish that thought Charlie quickly changes the topic to something more comfortable for the dishevelled Schlatt. Arnold's Ass.

Then Schlatt thirsts as he dries his eye sweat.

The dynamic switches after that a bit; Schlatt looks at him directly when he says something funny, almost looking for validation, and Charlie doesn't go hard into defending "Protein Style" burgers, even though he might have, on a regular episode, just for the bit.

The 'flipping a coin with your dick' bit gives Charlie a troubling opportunity to look at Schlatt's crotch, which has an unexpected effect on him. He quickly looks away, though not before briefly catching Schlatts eyes, and the bit ends just as quick but leaves an impression on Charlie who briefly questions his feelings towards Schlatt after his brain helpfully supplies the thought of Schlatts strong dick flexing. It's ridiculous, by all means, but even more ridiculous is that Charlie's brain wants him to test that strength in a hands-on sort of way now.

  They are just friends, work friends at that, but what Charlie felt in that moment was less than appropriate for such a relationship,,,

Charlie recovered quickly though. He had to; the show must go on. Even as he caressed Schlatt's long hair. A shock, like spilling a drink on your podcast guest, will get you out of any sort of daze, as it turns out.

As he tried to focus on everyone at the table as well as the conversation as a whole (instead of only Schlatt as he is tempted to), he almost missed the brofist Schlatt offered after his misan-sayin' joke in his distraction.

But from then on things seemed to go back to normal as Charlie just shut off his brain and finally just threw himself into the show, as he normally does at times like these.

Well. It's normal until Schlatt brings out the sauce. The way he waved that thing in front of Charlie's face was honestly a bit intimidating, especially since he did not want to just drink a bunch of thick ass sauce just like that, so he jumped at the opportunity of having anyone else consuming the sauce.

In this case their poor unsuspecting guest William, but hey, at least it wasn't Charlie.

And he was honest to god relieved then, but only until Schlatt took the bottle and let a big dollop of sauce gloop into his mouth. Charlie stared hard as the viscous liquid entered Schlatts system and gulped at the sight.

God, that reaction was on camera. Well, there's nothing to it;

"That was honestly like the most, like, sensual thing I've ever seen-- and it really was not. I didn't like the way it sort of-", Charlie gestures at his face, "-slopped-" Schlatt gags and all Charlie can do at that point is laugh through the pain as he removes the bottle of sauce from Schlatts hands, trying to forget how something borderline disgusting like that, which clearly made his friend feel less than stellar, could have made his body and brain react quite as it had. His brain supplying that it might know of a similar substance that it would love to see Charlie squirt into Schlatt's beautiful open mouth didn't help.

He leaned in deeper into the bit and told Schlatt to "wash it down" with some ketchup and moved on as Schlatt and William drank some Jack Daniels.

Being a professional he was able to move on but the vibe had changed, and Charlie struggled even more with trying to keep his eyes to himself, catching himself looking at Schlatt way too much, as he notices things about Schlatt that he had been trying to ignore for quite a while. His arms. His neck. His thighs-

Then Schlatt sucks at the nip of the ketchup bottle.

"Oh, fuck me, oh, fuck me! Oh, genuinely screw this," Charlie exclaims and chuckles awkwardly, before trying the mustard in the same way, in an effort to get the vibe back to what it was, as Charlie pushes his dirtier thoughts aside. It works well enough, and the podcast continues in the same way it had before.

That being Schlatt crying again and Charlie using the chance to be tender with him again, even if he maybe enjoys it a bit too much for his own liking. God, they're a mess.

Charlie is so glad when that episode ends. Of course, it was fun as hell, but he has a lot to think about- or procrastinate thinking about, actually.

After all; his brain hasn't really been on his side today, but they're gonna film another episode after this one so he has to have a clear mind asap.

Earlier, when William asked them how many people had seen their dicks, his first thought was "if I play my cards right, there'll be one more by tomorrow; Schlatt", which is a bit weak, to be honest. That needs to be fixed.

Charlie sighs and gets up, immediately going to the nearest bathroom in the building, to splash some water on his face and cool himself down. He leans against the sink and faces the fact that he might be into JSchlatt.

Sexually, romantically, or something like it.

Then as he goes to leave the restroom, the door opens to none other than Schlatt, looking similarly lost in thought.

They make eye contact for a while, just standing in the door, until Schlatt steps forward, the door falling closed behind him.

"Crazy episode huh, Schlatt?" Charlie chuckles, stumbling awkwardly over his own words, staring at Schlatt, trying to read him before chuckling again and saying, only half kidding, "ya know, now that I'm standing here you have really pretty eyes, dude-" 

Schlatt looks dazed before he cuts Charlie off by leaning down and tenderly kissing him.

#chuckle week #chuckle sandwich #chuckle sandwich podcast #slimecicle/jschlatt #i am so sorry #anyhow #no beta we die like men #fanfiction #fanfic #fuckle week

[sylvandalism]

domestic design

I’ve been thinking a lot about domesticity and what it means to live a life- a meaningful one, a revolutionary one, maybe even a significant one. An aesthetic element of two would be nice (anything but those staid eames chairs and the grey and beige shiplap but make it mid century modern target style).

Last weekend I drove about halfway to San Francisco taking the highways instead of going on the inner roads because google says exposure therapy can work sometimes. The most effective treatment, it turns out, is accepting the inevitable and inherent risk of being human, even if it comes at the hands of someone cutting you off mid merge on highways straight from hell. I have to remind myself it’s okay if I die. Even if it’s on my way to pick up some accent chairs.

I don’t know how I feel about the accent chairs quite yet because I don’t have a rug yet to compare it to and the home design podcasts I listen to say that a rug (and not the paint color) is what ties a room together. I tried to do my civic duty and went to the local rug store first where the lovely Persian owner tried to asses what we needed, which turned out to be aspirational expensive distressed traditional rugs. It’s aspirational because we weren’t in her typical income bracket yet. But I spent some time marveling over the hand woven intricate Afghan rugs and tapestries anyway and dreamed of a room with fringed wall hangings and hand blown glass lamps and tiny coffee tables tucked away in sunny corners. Plants are welcome as long I’m not their primary caretaker- living things bring their own anxiety.

I’ve been agonizing over the rug in the back of my head, sifting through hundreds of pictures and racks trying to find the holy grail. It’s funny but the performance of tasteful domesticity and conveyance of tempered elegance and cultural knowledge still matters. I think there’s merit to creating a place that matters to you, that is beautiful and peaceful and brings you clarity: a room of one’s own to bicker and create and lounge and laugh. Perhaps it’s the isolation of the last two years that have highlighted the importance of what our places say about us, especially as our social circles have trickled down. At its most basic, reveling in domestic frivolity has been a nice escape.

When we were in Austin a few weeks for a friend’s wedding, we all went out to eat at a restaurant that really only tastes good in retrospect. We were all sitting at a table and soon afterwards, another group of young men from the wedding showed up and sat behind us. Our friend looked at them and laughed. We were there last year and now we’re at the married table, he pointed out and I gazed down the table and it was true. All of us in our wedding finery, each couple across from the other, paying respect to what’s expected of us. I thought of my mother then and her insistence I wear gold on my hands as a visual marker of my success and I saw myself growing smaller and rounder, portly, jowled, thinking of ways to set the table. It was dismaying, against my better judgment. These ways of thinking about aging, about femininity, beauty, domesticity are so deeply embedded that though I’ve read and believe everything to the contrary (aging naturally not being a death sentence, acting according to what you’re expected to do is not necessarily hypocritical, assimilation into the version of domesticity that’s natural to a hetero-capitalist state does not mean you’re doomed to live out your version of revolutionary road ) it was still depressing. I was exactly where I needed to be, but not where I expected to be.

There have been a spate of books and articles about (mainly) middle class white women leaving their marriages and tidy little houses in the suburbs, ostensibly because their countertops were granite instead of quartz but also because their version of motherhood and wife-hood became overwhelming. I’m trying to parse through my understanding of that process and what I think is finding a lack of purpose and meaning behind their roles as wives and mothers (which is of course the history of hetero capitalism enacting its weight on them) and what they’re attempting to do next. The rudimentary first wave feminist adjacent analysis is to congratulate them for their independence, their quite literal divorce from their middle class material lives. But if the solution is move to the big city to find your own version of independence, what does that mean? What is your revolution accomplishing if you’re simply searching for the next thing to consume and give you a sense of fullness until of course you’re emptied again? What does our individuality mean in the overwhelming insignificance of it all? I don’t have the answers but I think for those who choose to go down these paths, maybe part of it lies in the semi- adoption of our roles- we try not to let them consume or define us even as we act out the roles as they’re intended.

#Me

[popculturebuffet]

Patreon Membership Drive: Turbo Championship Hyper Fighting Edition!

Hello all you happy people! For those wondering “who the hell is this.” I”m Jake Mattingly. I review animation and comics here on this tumblr 5 times a week, and love doing so. I do so by recapping an episode of an animated show or a volume of a comic piece by piece, how detailed depends on the work and how condensed it needs to be, analyzing the episode and sometimes throwing in some jokes because i’m a silly weirdo and tis my nature. 

 So far i’ve been able to scrape by with the help of my patreon’s kev and emma, with Kev suplimenting that iwth various comissions (I.e. paying me to review a specific episode of a show much like someone would comissoin). But I don’t want to place my entire finacial future in the hands of two people so last month I lauched my patreon membership, trying to get people to join my patreon to releive some of the pressure on them. And not a person signed on during the first month. 

But I realize a large part of that is I simply didn’t advertise propertly, not really explaning what it is I do, what they get, or throwing in any extra incentives for signing up apart from “If so many people pledge to my patreon i’ll do X review” Which is still the main thrust of my campaign but I realized I need MORE than that to give you all proper money for your buck, especailly with Tumblr trying to monteize in the most half assed way possible making people presumibly more wary of spending money on me. 

So for this promo i’m going into what it is I review exactly, how to sign up for my patreon and how any of that works, what you get out of it, and various juicy stretch goals i’m hoping ya’ll can help me reach so

WHAT IS IT YOU DO EXACTLY?

As I mentioned above I review animation and comics, more animation than comics. My meat and potatoes are Disney Duck works, primarily the 2017 reboot and the Don Rosa and Carl Barks comics. For the former i’ve done retrospectives on Lena’s arc, the Della storyline from season 2 and ALL the Season 2 storylines, the last one currently in progress. I intend to review the entire series, the lackluster tie in comics, and the this duckburg life podcast, though the last one has some strings attached we’ll get to under my goals.  I”ve also been reviewing various Carl Barks first apperances and most importantly doing a complete retrospective on Don Rosa’s masterwork the Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck. 

I also review certain shows week to week, almost entirely Disney as aside from the True Colors Debacle they have the most reliable schedule and announce release dates farther in advance than Cartoon Network and Nick which just sorta pop up announce things. I covered all of season 3 of Ducktales and season 2 of amphibia (With season 3 coverage coming in october) and i’m currently reviewing Owl House every week till that hiatus hits. 

Finally i’m currently looking at all the Tom Luictor episodes of star vs the forces of evil tracking both Tom’s character arc and the show’s steady decline straight into the dumps. 

Comics wise i’m more sporadic but in addition to duck comics stuff, I’ve also been doing a retrospective on the Scott Pilgrim franchise: all 6 volumes of the comic, those reviews avaliable now and in two weeks from this post, just in time for  the video game and movie anniversaries to finish things up. I recently started another one for the comic book Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye, I intend to finish one I did for New X-Men, and I have a few in my mind’s eye I want to do soon on John Ostrandre’s Suicide Squad run, Justice League International, and Mega Man that i’m going to do pilots for to see if anyone’s interested. 

Finally recently i’ve started doing quick thoughts, quick reviews on recent stuff from trailers to full on movies I don’t have to cover normally. 

So What Is Your Patreon?

Patreon is a site where creators can get paid for work and can put up exclusive content and what not. You pledge anywhere from a dollar a month, and become one of my patrons and help me do this blog for a living. I genuinely love writing about media, analyzing it and making weird jokes, and this lets me do that as my job and my passion. I simply don’t want to put finacing that on the backs of only two people. 

So What’s In It For Me?

Unlike Tumblr itself I feel my supporters deserve to get the most bang for their buck. As such Patreon Membership starts at JUST ONE DOLLAR. That’s right for a dollar a month, 12 bucks a year so the price of a movie, you get access to my occasoinal exclusive reviews, exclusive poles once I get more than two members so that’s actually sensical to do to vote on reviews, and to pick a theatrical short when i review a bunch of them for character birthdays or holidays or just cause. 

In addition to these though i’ve decided to sweeten the pot. ON SIGN UP ANY PATREON OF ANY TIER GETS ONE FREE REVIEW OF ANY SINGLE EPISODE OF TELEVISION OR ISSUE OF A COMIC BOOK. That’s right for just one buck, you get a review of your choice. Whatever you want. You want to force me to watch something you hate so someone else can bitch about it for you? Go on about an episode yo ulove? shine a light on something obscure? Well i’m your man and for ONE BUCK A MONTH, you can get that. Whatever you want put on my schedule as soon as I have room and your payment’s gone through. 

And if you want me to review stuff on a more regular basis, five bucks a month gets you a review a month, same permaiters as above along with said free review. I will PERSONALLY make sure there’s a space on the schedule every month for your patreon review and review whatever you want no matter how good, bad or stuppid. 

But that’s not ALL. 

STRETCH GOALS:

To explain these better than what I did next time: My stretch goals are goals on my patreon: if I hit a certain number of Patreons I will review (Insert Thing Here) And these are meaty projects too: full season reviews, retrospectives and what have you and something’s unlocked with each person who signs up, adjusted from orignally basing it on price. So your dollar a month not only gets you your own review, but also will get my solemn vow to review a bunch of other thigns, and the more people who sign up the more thigns I’ll add to my plate. Not only that but just for this pledge drive i’m adding a bunch of super neat drive exclusvie stretch goals that will VANISH AT THE END OF AUGUST. dosen’t mean I won’t EVER do these reviews, but it does mean i’ll probably sit on them a bit. 

TLDR: You singing up gets me to guarantee to review some extra stuff. 

SO WHAT ARE THE GOALS. 

I”m glad you asked. Each one is based on a person joining, so 

REGULAR PATREON GOALS THAT AREN’T GOING TO EXPIRE BUT ARE STILL PRETTY NEAT:

One goal for each new patreon so

1 New Patreon: Starting off light but still juicy, I will review the complete season one of Amphibia across two posts. I’ve already rewatched the season recently, so all someone has to do is sign up and i’ll get on it in septmeber in time for season 3! And that’s not the only show as i’ll also review BOTH seasons of the birdtastic show after my own heart Tuca and Bertie! 

2 New Patrons: This one’s a big lighter but you still get some neat things: for my scottaholics in the audience I will review the rest of Brian Lee O’Malley’s works so far: Lost at Sea (his first graphic novel) Seconds (his first post scott work) and Snotgirl (his first ongoing and first work he didn’t draw himself), which follow a girl trying to reclaim her soul/cat, an immature restrauntieur who discovers reality changing muschrooms, and an influencer who might of done a murder. For those who don’t really like Scott Pilgrim i’ll review a buch of paramount plus shows first seasons: Kamp Korral, the rugrats rugboot and iCarly. So if any of that sounds good get on the bus won’t you?

3 New Patrons: My juicest one and one that stands alone: I will review the complete first season of the Owl House across two posts. Every episode, every bit of lumity progressoin, every bit of foreshadowing in hindsight, all for you, all if three people join my patron. So if you want more bisexual magic, step up. 

4 New Patrons: Duck Goals Woo-Ooo! This one unlocks a review from Duck Master Carl Barks EVERY MONTH. Not only that I will be taking suggestoins from my patrons , meaning you can help decide which ones I do! And while tha’ts plenty i’m jucing this one up as getting me this far also nets a review of This Duckburg Like, the interquel podcast that’s given us our last ducktales content for what will likely be an eternity. 

5 New Patrons: Gravity Falls Retrospective! I”m not only talking both season of Alex Hirsch’s era defining masterpice, but also the side materials I have acess to: the shorts, Journal #3, and the lost legends tie in comic. I”d throw legend of the gnome gemulets in there two if I had a working 2ds or 3ds bu tas it stands this is what I got. 

6 New Patrons: Avatarverse Retrospective. No not James Cameron the Bravest Pioneer’s movie he wants to turn into a franchise despite NO ONE wanting this please stop James, we’re begging you. Of course i’m talking about Avatar the Last Airbender, the epic franchise that’s blowing up in size. This will include all three books of Avatar: The Last Airbender, All Four Books of the Legend of Korra, and all the juicy side stuff I can cover: the sequel comics for both series, the kioshi novels and the eye gougingly bad M Night Shamlyn Movie. Yes I really will   myself to that. I have not till now i’m happy that way but I will sufer for you. Speaking of suffering:

7 New Patrons: It’s a crapstravaganza!  If i’ve made it this far I clearly have enough fan support that I can fly into the eye of the crapstorm so i’m going to review some of the worst things I can think of:  * Chuck Austen’s X-Men the run that dared to ask the tough questions your coke addleed uncle you don’t let see your kids would like “What if Angel could cure AIDS with his blood and had sex with a minor while her parents watched?” “What if a rouge relgious sect tried to make Nightcrawler pope and then desingrate people with commuiion wafers in a scheme that makes no sense?” and “What if an x-man made a plant horny?”  * America: The comic that has the infamous and oft used by me line to compare it to other bad lines “What in the holy menstration are you doing here”. And it’s still not the most bonkers thing int his somehow 12 ISSUE SERIES tha twastes one of marvels best creations.  * The Prince: Aka that series HBO what farted out onto the service with no intention of renewal after realizing “Holy shit we greenlit this what is wrong with us” which is basically family guy but with the royal family. I’d say it was a somehow worse family guy but Famiily Guy once had an episode that was about 22 minutes of transphobic punchlines so as long as there isn’t an episode of that your good.  * Mordecai is a Bastard Man: Aka that arc of Regular Show that took a ship I really liked, Mordecai and CJ, and then destoryed it with cheating, attempted murder and saxophone.  *Star Vs Final Arc: Aka a look at how a once great show descended into a mess with unfinished plot lines, wasted characters and a finale so terrible it’s only topped by “Kids this is the story of how I really want you to say it’s okay to bang aunt robin” 8 New Patrons: Infinity Train, all four books and any finale movie if it happens. (Please let it happen) All aboard! 9 New Patrons: Two juicy disney retrospectives! The Incredibles (both movies and both comics series) and Darkwing Duck (Both the Boom! and Joe Books runs) Let’s get incredibly dangerous! 10 New Patrons: My highest tier for now and i’ts anothe rdouble feature and two big projects. If you get me this far, you’ve earned em: A She Ra and the Pricesses of Power Retrospective and a Bojack Horseman retrospective. The two greatest things Netflix has made back to back for life. 

And THAT’S NOT ALL... as I said I have some special stretch goals JUST FOR THIS PLEDGE DRIVE. 

SPECIAL DRIVE SPECIFIC GOALS BABY!:

These are a simple five extra projects for hitting the goals within the rest of the drive FROM AUGUST 1ST TO AUGUST 31ST. I will not add these to the regular goals for a full year if you do not reach them, so one buck helps you unlock projects that otherwise might not happen for YEARS. Like the other goals their measured by patrons but ONLY for this month sooooo

1 New Patron: Quack Pack series review! the most hated Disney Afternoon show in one big two part review. God help me. 2 New Patrons: Rise of the TMNT Retrospective: Both seasons, a movie and regular coverage on the offchance a third season hopefully gets greenlit.  3 New Patrons: Peanuts and Garfield Specials retrospective!: Retrospectives for the technicolor years long world of Peanuts specials and the shorte rlived but still neat garfield specails. All the specials plus all the animated movies for both!  4 New Patrons: Craig of the Creek-AThon: Rewatching season one and watching BOTH seasons i’ve missed since then with full reviews as well as reviews of each bomb of episodes as their released on teh app from here on out!  5 New Patrons: Steven Universe Retrospective! All 5 seasons, The Movie, Future, the comics, graphic novels and games. EVERY. THING. 

So if ANY of this sounds enticing 

STOP BY MY PATREON RIGHT HERE IN THIS LINK, SIGN UP TODAY, HELP ME GET PAID DOING WHAT I LOVE AND GET REVIEWS FOR EVERYBODY. YOU WON’T REGRET IT AND YOU’LL BE MAKING MY LIFE BETTER. 

And even if you can’t support it feedback on the goals, reblogs to get the word out and general words of encouragment are appricated so join me as I try to get at least one extra dollar a month in the span of this month. PITTER PATTER, let’s get at er!

#amphibia #tuca and bertie #scott pilgrim #kamp koral #rugrats #icarly #the owl house #ducktales #this duckburg life #carl barks #gravity falls #avatar the last airbender #the legend of korra #x-men #america chavez #the prince #regular show #star vs the forces of evil #infinity train #the incredibles #darkwing duck #quack pack #she ra and the princesses of power #bojack horseman #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #cotc #craig of the creek #peanuts #garfield