#all i want to do is come home to you

[autisticrosewilson]

While we're on the topic of De-aging AU's I wanna talk about Jason and Damian if Jason was 14 again real quick.

Do you guys think that Damian looks at this version of Jason, so different from the version he knows, nothing like the person he was told Jason was, and feels uncomfortably seen?

Damian was always told that Jason died because he was reckless, because he disobeyed orders, he was fired as Robin and he got himself killed. A cautionary tale, not a threat to his position. He dismisses Jason because Bruce does, because Dick does, because sometimes even Babs and Alfred do.

That's not the kid that he's looking at now. This Jason is happy, and smart, and full of love that has not yet soured into grief. He hangs on Bruce's every word, trains until his hands bleed and his body gives out to perfect the moves Bruce teaches him. He looks at Bruce with stars in his eyes and he calls him dad.

And Damian can't help but think, that this is the perfect Robin. The perfect son. And if Jason - sweet, loving, strong, Jason - can be fired, can die and have his room locked away and his pictures torn down, can have his last memory as Robin be as A Good Soldier, how could the rest of them ever compete? What could Damian do to stand a chance?

Jason will never grow out of the shadow of Robin, like the rest of them did. As long as Bruce, and Dick, and Babs, and Alfred look at him and see a dead kid who came back wrong, he will never get to be anything else. He will not get to be looked at through who he is now without the shadow of a dead boy looming over him.

And the worst part? Jason is exactly the same person he was back then. Bitter, sure, angry, justifiably, but he is still the boy with too much love in his heart and righteous fury festering in his gut. He is exactly the same boy who threw himself in front of an explosion to save his mother.

(The lines between the mother that betrayed him and the father that disgraced him are so very blurred. Fire or blade or crowbars or fists it does not matter. It ends the same way it always does because Jason Todd always dies, in every universe, in every timeline, Jason dies and crawls out only to be killed again and again and again.)

#dc #jason todd #damian wayne #de aging #I personally am obsessed with the headcanon that they met in the league which lends it's own sense of tragedy #but this is a more canon take on it #Bruce Wayne critical #do you guys think he watched Jason fall back into old routines and is so unbelievably angry because none of it matters #do you think he listens to Jason talk about homework and his grades and his clubs and the colleges he wants to go to #and all he can think of is how unfair it is #that Jason never gets it. That everything about who he was got distorted and exaggerated and there was nothing left of this boy #that the love and blood and late nights never mean anything because this is a ghost walking the halls disproving all the legends #what is the prodigal son to do when he comes home but the locks have changed

[oozeandgoo-art]

Stubbornness.

#oc #haven #i worked genuinely hard as fuck on this one #tfw you follow someone to their home to demand they speak with you face to face because you want to commit extreme violence on them #over a business dispute. and because they do not want you to do this they simply do not come outside. and you eventually make it clear you #will not be leaving until they come outside so you can discuss (read: harm them over) said business dispute. so they turn on their #sprinkler system and go to sleep. and you decide on the spot that this isn't that big a deal and if you leave now you'll lose ALL #credibility FOR EVER. so you decide to stand around and wait until they come out and . by the time the morning arrives you have #contracted Hypothermia and The Beginnings Of Pneumonia and also Did Not Maul That Guy #started this as a proof of concept test of doing an overpainting on super vivid red #expecting to spend like #maybe forty minutes on it #and then about uh.... like... at least seven hours later i was like okaayyyyy now im done #stay tuned i have two variants that didnt make the cut also #also the picture is big as fuck so i recommend straight up opening it into a different tab to look at details #not that there are that many #i painted it 80% at zoom-out scale

[t00thpasteface]

i'm so relieved that people like my retrobat stuff bc i can tell tumblr definitely prefers two very specific batmans: Tortured Diesel DILF and Edward Cullen But Cooler. meanwhile i'm out here like

#i mean i COULD wax poetic about how serious/grounded stories don't necessarily have to humorless and grimdark #i think someone who is 100% brooding all the time is just as cartoonish and wacky as someone who is always 100% silly #if anything it comes off as insecure. like omg look how serious i am guys!! i made batman unfunny and cruel and abusive!! #i think there's a lot to chew on with a guy who is miserable and traumatized but still at the end of the day a paragon and optimist #if he wasn't ultimately optimistic and big-hearted he wouldn't be doing literally any of this shit lbr he'd just shoot guys and go home #like look man if you wanna write the next great gutwrenching american novel maybe don't pick a single dad in a fursuit as your protag sorry #IF I WANTED SERIOUS NAVELGAZING I'D READ HEMINGWAY. WHICH I ENJOY AS WELL #shebbz shoutz #batman #dc

[introspectivememories]

tim and bernard who break up and it's nothing big, no one cheated or anything. it's just their lifestyles didn't work out well together. tim cannot give up vigilantism currently and bear cannot handle the level of danger tim puts himself in. and on the other hand, tim cannot handle the fact that bear chooses to run into danger as an emt bc he already worries about everything but now he has to worry if he'll find his boyfriend convulsing from fear gas in a random alley but also bear who felt the life drain out of darla cannot stand the thought of not helping people and runs headfirst into dangerous situation after dangerous situation hoping that every person he saves can somehow make up for the fact that he could not save darla.

(he very pointedly does not think about the fact that there was nothing he could do because if he thinks about that, he'll spiral until they have to lock him in arkham too)

and so they break up but they were tim & bernard in high school and when they started dating they balanced out the worst of each other and they became tim&bernard. and everyone who knows them, knows that they're better together but they cant be together, they refuse actually because they cannot lose another person to the violence of gotham and by the time they figure out that they cant work together as long as the other is an emt or vigilante, it's too late for both them. they've already left too many pieces of themselves in each other.

tim still knows what bear means when he says "tim" in that exasperated voice. tim still goes boneless when he hears bear say "baby" in that firm tone. bear can still read tim like a book. he still knows the right way to massage tim's neck so that tim can go to sleep. everyone at the first responders gala knows not to bother ceo drake-wayne and senior emt dowd when they're talking.

(and if they're standing a little too close to each other than what is normal, who are they to judge? everyone knows that dowd and drake-wayne have history)

and if everyone on the night shift has caught red robin with his head tucked into the crook of emt dowd's neck as emt dowd runs a soothing hand up and down the vigilante's back, well then, they just quietly back away.

(after all, dowd's one of like, five, emts that can get the bats to receive medical treatment so if turning a blind eye to whatever the fuck they have going on is what allows them to give back to their heroes, then the night shift will do it every time)

and of course, tim and bear are practical people. they loved (love) each other sure, but when your lives are fundamentally incompatible, well, you cant get too stuck on the what-ifs, that's for sure. and so they do find love with other people and yeah, maybe it's not what they expected love to be when they first fell in love with each other. it's not the bubbly, stomach-swoopy, cant stop grinning, feeling that permeated tim&bernard's early days or the i Know you/you Know me that was their middle or the quiet despair that was their end but it is contentment. and in a life with as many losses as theirs, contentment is something they hold dearly

and they're happy! truly! but sometimes, at galas when they're making each other snort champagne out their noses or in darkened alleyways when their clothes are both stained with blood or at rallies for stricter gun regulations in gotham where they both sit too close to each other, fingers enclosed around each other in a death grip, when the presenters inevitably bring up grieves

(worst school shooting in gotham in decades, there's blood on their hands and blood in their mouths and darla is dead in between both of them and there is a chasm so wide that they are screaming to get their voices across and she will always be dead and maybe this had always been the problem that she is dead and there is no coming back from that and that there is blood on their hands and blood in their mouth and blood on their han-)

but sometimes, most especially on opposite sides of the street, as life pulls them in different directions, just sometimes, they see each other and just for a second, nothing too long, the flap of a hummingbird's wings, the time it takes to blink, an electron's orbital, they look at each other and for the briefest moment, blue on brown, a barely noticeable stutter in their steps, the space between heartbeats, because this is all they will give themselves because they do not dwell on what-ifs or what-could-have-beens, or what-should-have-beens, or delusions of a softer world, their eyes meet and they think to themselves, god, in another life, i would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with him.

#what the fuck is this #the theme was wistfulness. hopefully that came across right. and like i wanted this to be all 1 text block so you feel how it all collapses #into that 1 thought they have at they end but fuckass tumblr has a 4096??? text limit for a single paragraph???? so here's multiple paragra #anyway here is my middle of the road sad timbern hc. do i think this will happen? no? is this still a fun world to play in? yeah absolutely #also super huge fan of darla haunting the narrative. darla as this chasm they cannot cross. darla as smth they shelter each other from #but also smth like a 2 way blade. it cuts them both. it will never stop cutting them. smth smth the wound will always bleed #also i cannot stress how important it is that they are happy with other people!!! they are both satisfied with other people. it's just that #they have a very specific history and they are the only two people who really know and understand that history #and also it's not that theyre unhappy with their partners but just that smtimes they look at each other and... wonder. in a softer world #maybe i could've been a chef and you could've still been a superhero and we could've still worked out. maybe we would've gotten a boat #together and maybe we could've come home to each other. maybe i could've trusted you to come home to me. maybe you could've #understood my need to help people. maybe we could've held our love as something precious. #maybe in a softer world our love wasn't something that hurt us both. #i need to lay down. im going crazy #as always i do love reading yalls thoughts in the reblogs and replies!!! #bernard dowd #dc #tim drake #timbern #timber

[darubyprincx]

to be, or not to be (romanticization of the inevitable)

#ray's tag #keys' art #undescribed #skeletons #ok to reblog #the skeleton model that i traced for this was provided by the incredible kiku @kikunai whom you can find right here on tumblr! #so uh. This is a piece about chronic fatigue although the original idea i had for it drifted a bit as soon as I started coloring the linear #(i really enjoy shading and lighting things and got a bit carried away here but i stand by my choice because this is my favorite thing #that i've ever drawn) #anyways. i often feel especially lately with school being back in season that my bones are leaden with this sort of. weariness. theyre heav #it weighs on our mental health and energy a lot and although there's a couple of reasons we have been given for it #that doesn't remove the fact that this is still a thing that affects us in a very real way day to day although we are good at masking it. #often i come home to find that i do not have the physical mental or creative energy to work on things i really want to #especially project: nexus which i feel extra bad about even though i can't help it because i just started it so recently #it is a mild to moderate struggle to make it day to day and i just. wanted to represent this somehow #my original concept for this was a skeleton with some black goop gunk whatever leaking from its joints #but as i started adding the cracks and coloring them gold (a personal touch; kintsugi is a concept that is very dear to us) #i realized that the focus here was less on the condition itself and more on the body that it afflicts. #so i put it into a spotlight. #ironic i know since very little people acknowledge this irl or even know it exists at all but i added rim lighting. I added color gradients #I colored the lineart and made it all fancy and even added a flare for the head to get the point across that even at its core; disability i #a performance. this is not implying that disabilities are fake in fact this is the opposite of that. i wanted to show that with disabilitie #especially i think in my personal opinion the invisible ones #we are all masking at least a little bit during the vast majority of the day. humans are social creatures and it is only when we are alone #or with someone we deeply trust where we allow ourselves to be who we truly are without fear and even then that can be rare #so i wanted to show this bit of the soul in as broad a limelight as i could. idk this is a really abstract piece and i dont know if anyone #will even get it but it matters to me at least. and even though we've been largely bedridden for the past week i think that's okay #we will get it figured out. all of us. okay? okay. i love you. i fucking love you. we are going to fucking make it #(also the xes over the eyes are because i thought they looked cool they have no deeper meaning at least i think they dont #actually i think they do but i cant put it into words idk. Art is subjective assign your own meaning i'm gonna go get a shower)

[puppetmaster13u]

Thinkin' of WOF Au for DC, but like, it's a Gothamite and Fawcett thing. (And Amity Park if crossover)

Like those are the most magical areas in the world, even if Gotham is cursed as fuck. An unspoken secret of sorts that while they present themselves as human to outsiders, they are all Very Much Not.

Which means hilariously in the league, when everyone expects Batman to be suspicious and short with the new guy- even made bets on it- they are then shooketh when both visibly relax and start talking. And half the shared complaints don't make sense!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now Gotham technically has no Queen, nor does Fawcett, but Batman and Captain Marvel are the closest things. Not in the traditional sense of back when they were in separate tribes (& maybe from a different dimension but shh that was millennia ago) but in the sense of, they're the ones patrolling and protecting the cities along with calling the shots in disasters.

Which does sort of change the dynamic they both have in their city. If one of them calls to arms, the city would follow them. They could declare war, and their cities (begrudgingly in Gotham's underbelly's case of strongest is in charge) would follow. And while Billy is oblivious, both Marvel-the-not-hivemind and Batman are. They know they have to be very careful.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm sure we all want Nightwing Bruce but no. Bruce, like both his mother and father and father's father and so on before him, is actually an Icewing. The Waynes however, have a case of melanism running in their bloodline. Thomas Wayne? Only his quills and part of his back were darker, but Bruce? Practically pitch black scales that shadow his eyes.

Now Alfred on the other hand, is a Nightwing. No special powers there, though you would hear many a child protest with how he seems to know everything.

Commissioner Gordon is a Mudwing, big stocky and very tired, which translates to his human disguise as a large trenchcoat. He finds this very amusing. Barbara similarly, is half Mudwing. Her mother was a Hivewing, making her a hybrid between both. Which does ironically mean that Batgirl does in fact have insectoid wings. Though that does ponder the question on if they'd all go by their original vigilante names.

Dick is a Silkwing. Wingless as he watches his parents fall and unable to do anything despite this place supposedly being safe for beings like them. He grows into his own, and his wings, when they come in, are dark Gotham colors through and through, with the deep blue of the sky he's come to crave.

Jason is a hybrid between a Mudwing and a Skywing. He's also an animus- not that he knew that. He doesn't find out until he's dying, telling himself to not die, to get back to Gotham, to his dad, his family- And then he wakes up in his Coffin, alive.

Now Cass, raised to be the perfect killer, is also a hybrid, just one between a Nightwing and a Rainwing, egg set out under the moon. Which succeeds, partially. She can't straight up read minds, but combined with her talent in reading body language on both human and inhuman bodies, it's a near thing.

Tim is a Seawing, borderline abandoned by his parents who seek treasures and more wealth as he's trapped back in a city where the water is dark and poisoned. But he's Gothamite, through and through, and he adapts. Scales darker than the original blues he was born with, and glow shifting to that sickly white of the Gotham's Bats.

Now Steph, is a full-blooded Rainwing, and can in fact change her scales, but can mostly be found in purples and golds. Though for a short time she was in another set of colors, thought dead before she slithered out of the shadows older and wiser than before.

Damian is his father's son, but he's also an Al-Ghul. The not-quite dragonet is half Icewing, and half Sandwing. And struggled to adjust at first, to a place so different from his first home where the only other dragons were blood related. But like any Wayne before him, he adjusts, and he adapts.

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Billy wasn't a Beetlewing originally, and perhaps he would have hesitated if he'd known it would change him, would change his body and the last thing he had of his parents. But his friends, his Team and new family help. And he can pass as a Silkwing like their sort-of foster mother. All six of them can do so now, even if the others look more like hybrids themselves thanks to not being the Champion. They might not be, but they're his family. And that's enough.

#dc #dcu #batman au #batman #captain marvel #billy batson #gotham #wof #wings of fire #fuck it #prompts #batfamily #batfam prompts #dragons #dragon au #who knows why they can turn human or make people believe that's what they are #could be an animus thing could just be a gift from the City Spirits themselves #Gotham's no-man's land arc would be hella different me thinks #dragon cities gotta stick together after all #Billy when first seeing Batman: Oh thank fuck another dragon I keep having to stop myself from asking questions bout wtf they're talkin bou #Bat(oh god another vigilante child)man: ... Oh I understand that perfectly come to this place at this time & I can give you a powerpoint on #human stuff because if your home is anything like Gotham then humanity and aliens are a bit horn-scratching strange #Does Batman adopt Billy? No. #Billy & Co ends up similar to Barbara & Steph lol #They're not adopted but here have rooms & credit card & a college fund & anything else u or ur foster parents might need #y'know i bet martian manhunter would get along with most dragon people over the 'so how do human again' #also just in case someone wants to #dcxdp #dpxdc #also had a random idea that this could be a fun white-collar crossover

[lilaccatholic]

I am once again thinking about the reluctant ruler whose arc justly and correctly includes assuming the throne and taking responsibility for the people set before them

#it's about simba coming back to pride rock it's about aragorn using andúril to fight for middle earth and assuming the throne it's about #hiccup marrying astrid and assuming his role as chief and moses returning to egypt #and it's about irina loving her people so fully that when she claims all of her subjects as hers that chernobog must release them to her!!! #and it's about miryem choosing to stay with the staryk and repair the damage and assume responsibility for the land and people!!!!! #and! it's! about! gen!!!! #it's ALWAYS about gen!!!! #gen who didn't want to be king. who hated being king and only wanted to marry a queen but who obeyed his gods and became a king over kings #who lost his home and half his family and his HAND but who ushered in a new golden age. #and it's about sophos who ran away but who shot the ambassador and took back his kingdom #it's about duty and it's about sacrifice and it's always ALWAYS about doing the right thing even at great personal cost because it's about #submitting to a power higher than your own. of recognizing that the calling on life is one for serving others and having so much more to #answer for than just yourself. it's knowing duty is love is duty #i cant stand stories where the answer is 'give up the throne and reject your duty' because no!!! you dont get it!!! #thats how you get the monsters!!! thats how you get the prince turned into a beast and thats how you get every terrible weak king that #aragorn feared becoming #to accept your throne is to die to self!!! you are no longer you but 'king' or 'queen' #it's like queen mary says to qeii in the crown 'elizabeth mountbatten must die #elizabeth regina must take her place.' #that's terrifying! but it's also everything!!!! #die! to! self! die! to! self!!!!!! #lilac rambles #lilac goes to the movies #lion king #prince of egypt #lotr #spinning silver #the crown #tqt #the queen's thief #httyd

[toasteaa]

If I know what love is, it is because of you.

Art by my sweetie friend Imkuloki 💙 please take a look at their gallery and consider commissioning them!!

#toast talks #genshin impacted #ECLAIRETTE ART COMING IN THE DAY HIS BANNER COMES BACK??? A SIGN 💙 #When I tell you my brain went !!! when they sent me a message #I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE AN UPDATE BUT NO IT WAS THE FULL PIECE 😭💙💙💙💙 #If you thought I was gonna be normal about them...lol. lmao even. #I will NEVER be normal about them 💙 #vis tags: #oc x canon #genshin oc #oc tag: Eclair Dumont #okay now I have to go pretend to be normal at work when all I want to do is go home and pull for his c1 -

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

On The Topic Of Eddie.

First of all, he’s completely fucked. He’s screwed. I’ve said it a thousand times and I’ll say it again: I’ve never seen a character more doomed by the narrative. 

Second, Eddie’s halloween costume was Frankenstein’s Monster. And pray tell, what was the Monster’s whole thing? That he’s betrayed by his own creator, rejected / attacked by the town, deeply misunderstood & interpreted as a violent beast despite being well-read and helpful/benevolent. There are some interesting ties there - especially with the Misunderstood Despite Being Well-Read (switch out violent beast with forgetful klutz and it’s a perfect fit). That, plus Eddie’s description of “...brought back from the dead… by the scientist… stitches… a deathly pallor… a bit of a moral conundrum…”

Take that and add it to how Eddie resembles the “night” side of the clocks (this will be expanded upon with Sally in a different post), and how @/theneighborhoodwatch once pointed out that the color purple is only shown in relation to Eddie & may represent secrets, how in livestream trivia it was implied that Eddie doesn’t sleep at night as he is a “busy guy”, and how Sally’s “monster” only comes out at night and likely isn’t a monster at all - she is dramatic, an embellisher, and said to present things that she herself doesn’t know / is uncertain of As Fact, or at least present them as if she knows exactly what she’s talking about (even when she doesn’t and knows it). 

Another tidbit that I may have mentioned but I’ll bring it up again: Eddie’s eyelashes match the scalloped trim under Home’s windows. Three round curves. 

As an additional tally in the “Eddie is soooo fucked <3” scoreboard, Eddie is the mailman in a story where one of the first things we knew to be actually happening was the WHRP receiving letters of Welcome Home media (now I’m not saying Eddie sent them, certainly not. He may or may not have had a hand in helping with the delivery, but what I mean with this is how it ties in symbolically/abstractly/thematically.) That plus the red envelope, the general unfolding delivery theme… Eddie even has a holiday explicitly associated with him - Mail-In Time Day. 

Then there’s the fact that Eddie tends to express Knowledge and a more worldly disposition, in a way. Despite Frank being mentioned as the neighborhood “intellectual”, and he is so with facts, Eddie seems to have a deeper well of… let’s say cultural know-how. Pair that with how his bio is the only one to say/imply that he comes from elsewhere, that he’s been Around. Everyone else came from their family or don’t have a stated before, but Eddie? He was strongly implied to have delivered to a lot of different places - this is made into a running gag, but we all know a running gag for the Show has deeper implications and meanings. 

And the fact that his genuine knowledge as well as his past are consistently dismissed and/or played off for laughs…

IMPORTANT NOTE FOR THIS NEXT BIT: I CANNOT FIND THE OG ASK OUTSIDE OF SCREENSHOTS SO TAKE ALL OF THIS WITH A MASSIVE GRAIN OF SALT, AS THERE IS THE POSSIBILITY THAT THE ASK WAS FROM PRE-2021 AND SO - ALONG WITH THIS SPEC CHUNK - IT MAY BE NULL & VOID. BUT IT ALSO MAY NOT BE! SO I’LL TALK.

A while back - this is related I swear - there was an ask Clown answered where they talked about some of his notes on Eddie. The first part that I want to point out is how apparently Eddie is a good source for information (specifically How-To), but despite being talkative he doesn’t share unless prodded for it. This directly relates to the above points. 

Then there’s the one I really want to talk about - how Clown says that “He [Eddie] has a great deal of precision for someone who presents themselves as a semi-clumsy busybody!” 

That single line made me insane, personally. First, the wording. The choice of saying presents themselves as instead of something like for someone who is. There’s an obvious discrepancy between his precision and clumsiness. Now I don’t doubt that he may be a tad accident-prone, but what if Eddie is dialing up the clumsy nature to disarm his Neighbors / craft a specific reputation for himself / give himself leeway in other areas. 

On one hand, this is suspicious as fuck.

On the other hand, this is so adhd of him. 

One of the things rarely mentioned about it is how sometimes we adhders will play up our more “useless” traits in order to create a bit of a social safety net. Admittedly, I will sometimes play up my forgetfulness so that a) if i do forget things (truth more often than not), people aren’t surprised. b) when i remember things, people are pleasantly surprised. I mean, if people start thinking we’re competent then they’ll start Expecting things from us, which is never a good thing! 

And another thing that relates to it that that ask said - Clown says in it that Eddie is slow to anger, but he gets frustrated more easily. Which is fascinating and very relatable. They also said that he can’t talk about it without wandering too far, which - if the post is viable - has… implications. 

Anyway I am very confident that Eddie is in fact adhd. List of reasons (refer to the wiki trivia Eddie Dear section for sources):

He’s forgetful

He gets so involved with a task and cannot break away until it’s finished, thus often making him late

He’s particular

He has a watch - likely to help him keep track of time, implying that he has difficulty with the concept (time blindness!) 

He is very talkative and rambley 

& seems to have slight difficulty with picking up on social cues telling him when to / when not to speak

He’s slow to anger but more easily frustrated 

Beyond all of this I don’t have much to add that I haven’t already talked about in a previous post! I’m sure even so I’ve restated some (or a lot of) things - it Happens! 

In conclusion: bbg is so screwed & also adhd <3

#ok next up is the eddie & sally post #then it's the sally post bc mmm i have some Things to say about her #then frank & julie - i might combine their Own specs into the same post since there's not quite as much there and it very much intersects #then i'll give us a break with some Reality Mechanics spec- #IM SORRY BUT IM GOING TO BE POSTING LATE AT NIGHT! #you may have to come back to my blog & refresh if you want to read them all #much to say in so little time... #its a hell of my own making! i still have that last thing to draw & a stream test to do... #oh but this is the sort of crunch i enjoy... #crunching on something im passionate about is rarely a drag! #homebogging #wh speculation #welcome home speculation #not much to say in tags... im getting more Thorough with the post itself #leaving more meat there! less scraps to hide!

[greatwise]

Eddie is super excited about going on CC’s first tour. They just realised an EP, they have a couple of their favourite covers on the set list and a couple of venues are even sold out closer to home. His bags are packed and in the hallway, guitar securely in its case.

He isn’t excited to leave Hawkins.

Or, more specifically, his bed and the boy who has made a home in it.

The first alarm goes off around 9am. Steve sleeps right through it but Eddie has been in and out of sleep all night. He hits the snooze button and pulls the cover over his head. He’s in no rush, the guys won’t be around until 12pm to set off for Indianapolis.

The second alarm is one Steve set, knowing this would happen. 9:10am. He stirs, stretching out his arm to find Eddies hair to tangle his fingers into. Instead, he finds a mound of duvet moving up and down softly.

“Eds?”

“Hm.” The duvet is pulled up to reveal only Eddies face, a little red and pouty.

“Don’t make me leave, you can’t.” He says looking up into Steve’s eyes. Steve moves himself down, pulling the duvet over his head and soon they are breathing into each others air.

“You’ve been so excited for this since you were, like, 12 what’s giving you cold feet now?” Steve furrows his eyebrows.

“You.”

Steve softened.

#i wrote this as i woke up like a month ago #bc i didn’t want to leave my bed and go on tour #i miss home #however i do not have a steve in my bed so #i also am not a writer in the slightest and it all comes out in one burst and you get what you get #stranger things #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie Drabble #steve x eddie

[lightningidle]

Fig's line "I don't think I'm an artist, I think I'm just a good friend" has not left my head at all. Just...

You're Fig Faeth and your horns came in over the summer and you pick up the bard class as a form of adolescent rock 'n' roll rebellion, and it works! It's exactly the outlet you need! You give a guy you just met drumsticks and you start a band and it's good enough that within a year and a half you're touring. You are, in every sense, good at being a bard.

And then, finally, your junior year, you start to take it seriously. Your art goes from an outlet and a form of rebellion to a practice. A discipline. (Can rebellion exist within a discipline?) Your classmates know what they want to do with their work. They all have a thesis statement. And yeah, there's cohesion in the music you make, but you've never had to think about why you make it. You've never sat down and dissected what it is about bass that speaks to you. You've never poured over your lyrics to pick at any deeper meaning. Why should you? You don't play music for a grand design, you do it to... huh, why do you do it?

(Your art is the one form of self-expression that feels as safe as Disguise Self does, because even if you're pouring your heart onto the page and then screaming it in front of thousands of people, it's not like you're really making yourself known. You can sing I'm lonely, I'm scared, I'm furious, and your fans will sing it right back, and there will still be the distance between performer and audience to keep your heart safe.)

Now you're being asked to look inward to explain the artistic choices you're making, and you can't help but recoil at that, because you'd rather do anything than look inward. Meanwhile, your classmates have no problem with it, so you start to wonder if you're a real artist at all. Can your art be authentic if it only exists to bolster a thesis statement? Has your art been unauthentic this whole time because you've never really thought about a thesis statement before? Is that what makes it art, and not just the next track on somebody's teen angst playlist?

You can't think about yourself— acknowledging your own existence makes you want to puke. So if your music is an extension of yourself, (and it is, even if it's just because the spotlight reveals only what you want it to,) you can't think about your music. You can't. You have to. Your grade depends on it.

You're Fig Faeth, and you keep multiclassing because you'd rather be a good friend than a great artist. If introspection is what great art demands, then fuck it. You must not be a bard at all.

#Dimension 20 #fig faeth #fhjy #Idle Chatter #my last two years of college were when I started to get more and more nauseous about my own art #because I wasn't being taught how to make the art I wanted to make #the whole curriculum's focus was on gallery art #which infuriated me! I wanted to make art that didn't have to involve twelve layers of meaning and metaphor to be considered good!! #so I drove myself into the ground time and again trying to make (miserable) work that I thought would fit the criteria of a Real Artist #anyway it's been 4 years and I'm just now picking at why I don't enjoy creating anymore so Fig's whole arc has hit home in a major way #ALSO. AAAAALSO. THE ADHD STRUGGLE WE SEE WITH BOTH FIG AND KRISTEN. LOVING SOMETHING BUT STILL STRUGGLING WITH FOLLOW THROUGH #BEING TOLD YOU'RE NOT DOING ENOUGH WHEN IT'S SO FUCKING HARD JUST TO GET WHERE EVERYONE ELSE IS AND NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY IT'S HARD FOR YOU #it was easy and now that the rubber's hit the road it's hard for you but not for others so it must be YOU that's the problem #you must be lazy or stupid or just not suited to this after all even though it's part of a pattern that has been happening all your life #if you were good enough or cared enough then surely the discipline would come easily to you! the way it comes easily to all your classmates #SCREAMS I gotta stop before I write a second essay in the tags. I'm so normal you can trust me to be normal about D&D characters

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

i remember making a post once that was like. geto is a Father but he’s mommy. and kenny is a Mother but he’s daddy. and i just wanted to say it again bc i was so CORRECT wow

#IM JUST SAYING…. #kenny is Husband and geto is Wife :3 #but canonically geto is a Father and kenny is a Mother #idk i just love whatever gender fuckery they have going on i need them Both actually #been thinking a lot abt husband!kenny………… i need to write something for him soon phewww #he is so Peculiar #wants you to give him a welcome back hug every time he comes home from work but he never tells you to do it #he just Stares at you until you’re in his arms. and if you don’t do it he gets all weird 🤨 #he’s so off putting it’s crazy #(the difference here is that geto would Whine for his welcome back hug) #ari noises ✩ #kenny !! ✩

[uselessnbee]

what i wish people would also explore more when it comes to Percy is the other side of his feelings about his mom about family and his childhood but this fandom is too afraid to paint Sally even in the slightest bad light (even if it's not bad just acknowledging her flaws because she's a human being and not perfect) that no one will touch on that subject. like yes Sally is the best mom but she also isn't and that's the thing! She isn't perfect! but she tried her best but her best still got Percy hurt and it isn't her fault at all but that's the tragedy of it. i want Percy's feelings about this explored. how he grew up with a loving mom but an abusive step father. how his step father would humiliate him and call him stupid but then his mom soothed him and told him he's not the things Gabe calls him. how Gabe would hurt him and Sally would be there to make him happy and loved but at the same time she stayed with him. i want Percy's feelings explored about how he knows his mother loves him but her absence still hurt him. she would work so much to have money to raise him she did that for him but at the same time it meant Percy was left alone or with Gabe. Sally gave up so much for him, she sent him away to protect him but at the same time he was sent away from his mom. she's the only parent he has because his father is absent and Gabe is not actually a parental figure at all but she's also often absent in his life too and that must have left him with such mixed feelings because it's not all black and white! Sally's love protected him but also hurt him. Percy loves his mom so so so much but there's also this deep-seated bitterness and hurt and anger he never let himself feel and then the guilt for having those feelings because his mom loves him he knows that and she gave up so much for him and she married a monster that abused her to protect him, he knows that but it doesn't make it hurt any less. the mess his emotions are because he knows his mom suffered for him and did it from her love for him but he still desperately wishes she never married that monster that he wouldn't have to have the childhood he had with him that he wouldn't have to live with the trauma he was left with. this all is exactly what makes their relationship so fascinating and also heartbreaking.

or the idea of Percy having weird mixed feelings after Estelle is born because that's his little sister and he loves her with his whole heart and would do anything for her and wants only the best for her but there's also this little jealous monster deep down that wonders why she gets to have a loving mom and a loving dad and a happy normal life but he never got that. why does she deserve it but not him? why couldn't he have that too? doesn't he deserve that too? he was just a child too so why why why??? and then the guilt of feeling that way too it makes me want to scream. emotions are fucking messy and they can be really ugly and they can make you hate yourself and there's no way Percy's feelings aren't a mess when it comes to this and i want to see it explored so badly!

and with Sally too! her feelings about Percy because she did so much and tried her best but sometimes unfortunately your best isn't good enough and it still got her beloved son hurt and she hates it and feels so guilty but she just has to live with that but she can't help to wish it was different. that their lives would be different. better. normal. she can't help but to wish she didn't have to do the things she's done, didn't have to suffer so much just to protect her child. can't help to wish she didn't have to worry so much, didn't have to be so scared about Percy, didn't have to be terrified that one day he won't come back home to her, that she won't be able to hold her son anymore because he will be gone, she just wishes he didn't have to suffer so much, she just wishes and wishes and wishes

and i just wish people weren't so afraid to explore this because it's so heartwrenching and yes if you want something do it yourself but unfortunately i cannot write nor am i able to handle this topic in a way it deserves so i am left only with rambling about it on here thank you

#i am not trying to victim blame or anything i love Sally and she did her best and didn't deserve any of the crap life gave her #but there's just something so tragic about the fact that she married a vile man and suffered abuse to protect her son #just for her decision to hurt him anyways just in a different way but the only other option would probably be Percy ending up dead #so she can't really truly regret it but she just wishes those weren't their only options #that she didn't have to do this just so that her child could stay alive #thinking about it makes me go feral #they had no choice but to suffer there was no way for their lives to be without this much hurt and trauma and it's terrible #and they didn't deserve it but there was so much love too #but the horrible thing is that that love just wasn't enough to save them from all that pain and i need to be sedated bye #percy jackson #sally jackson #pjo #hoo #percy and sally #percy jackon and the olympians #whatever you do don't think about a six years old lonely Percy sitting in a corner waiting for his mom to come back home from work #and he knows she loves him but he misses her so much when she spends so much time in work and that hurts #don't think about a ten years old Percy being sent away to a boarding school and he knows his mom loves him #but what if she's sending him away because he's just too much? or not enough? and what if she doesn't want him anymore? #and he knows that's not true but what if? #i'm thinking it #okay i think that's enough

[frostbite-the-bat]

society if literally 80% of rw fandom and especially rw analysis youtubers (who are great, EXCEPT) stopped calling gourmand heckin' chonker chubby diabetic ginormous whatever and paid more mind to their whole character and not just the fact that they're fat

#watching a REALLY GOOD VIDEO #like its structured so well and already made me a bit emotional in the way it's retelling the story #and it's very entertaining and doesn't dumb down things much #ofc skipping directly reading pearl dialogue or iterator chat logs since that takes a lot of time #they appear on screen tho #id link it but i dont want any harassment + spoilers for molly #but oh my god they just got to gorumand and they instantly just. do this. #like yes gourmand is fat. they are heavy and they smartly utilize this for combat. they're definitely not just fat though there's muscle #underneath all that. they're strong. #and yes their quest is to eat things - but their whole deal is to enjoy the simpler things in life. in this dark tragic world #there is someone who is kind and nurturing and sees the beauty in all of this #and comes back home telling grand tales of their adventures #a great leader #all that is gourmand #but all ppl can talk about is OWO UWU THE CHONKER #oh my god you can acknowledge they're fat ass a descriptor without being so fucking weird about it #imagine if people did this for skinny characters all the time #ohh the twiggy! ohh silly skinny !! #look how dumb you sound

[tired-twink]

i was a figure drawing artist for quite a while, and im going to say that models with fat and/or excess skin were the most amazing to study. you can only draw so many thin muscles and sinew for anatomical study before youve seen and learnt it all. and when you finally get to experience putting the soft parts of a human ontop of the skeleton--the skin, the rolls, the fat, the curves and the layers of distribution on every part regardless of where it is or how much--you realize that when a 'perfect body' is presented to us as the 'default,' we lose understanding of the way our body is uniquely ours. remember to love the soft parts. they are, in their own way, art

#body positivity #really and truly you do not see how the curves are beautiful independently of what society has told you #idk im having a moment lol #and this isnt a pick against people who WANT to work out and change their body comp #we just need to be nicer to ourselves first #despite any grievances we might have against ourselves #also if you misconstrue this post i will come to your home and break all your windows

[rudjedet]

hey uhhh

guess who's maybe gonna do gymnastics again

#not competitive gymnastics evidently #wayyy past that station #but i talked to my old coach yesterday and he said basically my entire erstwhile team felt the same way I do #(wants to do gymnastics; cannot do competitions anymore; absolutely not at home in a recreational class) #so they're running a trial for ex-competition gymnasts where we can all just do our thing at our own speed and level #without competition pressure #his next sentence was “so when are you coming” #boy we both know the answer: immediately #(yes i can call him boy he's 6 years younger than i am and no this has never gotten any less weird but we work around it)