#again this is rlly just for me so idk if i'd go about actually putting this up as a downloadable mod. esp since again its pretty rough

[infizero]

hehehehehehehe

#serena.txt #friday night funkin #fnf #i will freely admit this is very rough LOL its my first time messing around w this stuff. but this is rlly just for me so i dont mind #still gotta compile a lot of the other sprites (tutorial; car; christmas; etc) #but the normal idle is finally done after a lot of work! #also saying right now THIS IS USING A PRE-EXISTING MOD THAT REPLACES PICO W GF. i just used those sprites and #combined them with gf's normal sprites. all credit to the sprites themselves goes to gottagetagrip on gamebanana #again this is rlly just for me so idk if i'd go about actually putting this up as a downloadable mod. esp since again its pretty rough #but if i do i will make sure to get direct permission from them (and anyone else i need to) first #anyways. yayyyyyyy im super happy im glad it didnt turn out complete shit. going to dedicate myself to getting the rest of it done o7 #also uhhh i guess if anyone DOES have an interest in one day downloading this for themselves let me know? #if there is an actual demand then i'll definitely plan to reach out to try and publish this. esp since then if someone wanted #to spruce it up a bit more they could LOLLL

[alexthesillybilly]

What if springtrap x reader but I write it from springtraps POV idk I wanna study him this is rlly similar to another thing I wrote btw if it feels familiar :P idk why but I love writing this exact scene lmao

God, how long has it been? Months? Years? Decades? How was I supposed to know? I haven't spoken to anyone since I was left in here, and I probably never will again. I'm still trying to figure out what to do to pass the time. At first my methods were a little more about escaping, but clawing at the walls and slamming my self against the door was both very painful, and was also not doing anything for me, so I stopped doing those pretty quickly. Then I remembered there were arcade machines in this room! But then I remembered that this is the parts and service room and they were out of order. And very unplayable. But that didn't stop me, I ended up disassembling and putting them back together a few times.

That got boring, too.

Now I'm not really sure what to do. I spend a lot of my time either fidgeting with loose wires or pacing around like some kind of scared animal. After I stopped having the indescribable dread of realizing I was trapped here, it changed to craving something. Anything, really. Whether it was hearing music from outside, seeing a color other than pitch black, feeling anything other than the freezing cold tile floor and my own pain.

I think I mostly craved company, though.

I was never into psychology, but speaking from experience, I'm pretty sure that completely depriving a human of any communication or entertainment for years (decades??) will fuck someone up.

There's some sort of noise around the door. It's happened a few times, usually someone who broke in trying to get into the room before discovering it's boarded up. I don't know who boarded up this room, but I'd like to have a talk with them. Only a little murder included. So I don't get my hopes up too much. They're not going to get in.

So maybe I get a little excited when for the first time, I actually DO hear the door crack open and light pour in.

Holy shit, it's happening.

I can finally get out of here.

I felt nearly manic at the sight. So imagine my thoughts when someone walked in.

I freeze. What do I do?

There is so much I want to say.

Can I even talk?

I don't know anymore.

Who is this?

I try to look at them without moving. Nobody I recognize. That's probably a good thing.

If I move, I might scare them.

On one hand, then I'd be able to leave.

But on the other hand, I need to talk to someone, ANYONE, so bad that I can't let then leave already.

So I stay still while they approach.

They must not be deterred by the sight of me, surprisingly, because they crouch down beside me like I'm not... like this.

"What the hell are you?" They laugh under their breath. Wow, okay. First words spoken to me in this long. I deserve that, though.

I need to talk so bad but how am I supposed to talk to anyone now? I don't even remember how it works, let alone if I physically could. I pray they'll ask a yes-or-no question soon.

They stand back up.

No. No, no, no, not already. They can't leave. I have to risk it.

I try my best to tell them not to go. It comes out as more of a noise you'd make on your deathbed, but it's enough to get them to stop in their tracks.

"No. Nope, I am NOT being your horror movie protagonist who dies first, nope. Not today." They turn to run out the door. This time I'm prepared. Kind of.

"No-" I manage to choke out before realizing how much it hurts to speak, and very pathetically falling against the wall in pain. I have to get the message through, though. "Don't go."

"Hooly shit." The person stares at me in horror. "I have so many questions."

Talking hurts so bad, but nothing hurts worse than my indescribable loneliness, so I'll just have to deal with that later. I have to say something.

"Me too."

#springtrap #fnaf 3 #springtrap x reader #self shipping community #fnaf f/o #fnaf #fnaf x reader #william afton x reader #yooo im writing!! #girl talk

[justatalkingface]

what's your opinion on the big 3? When I was hyperfoxed on this series they were the thing I care Abt the most (I enjoyed season 4, obv I'd change some stuff now but I still remember it being atleast ok)

I hate how dirty they did my girl nejire, as far as I'm aware they didn't even do anything with her after the whole pagent thing she just got a small backstory about how she was sad (don't know all of it I haven't been keeping up that well w the manga)

mirios not having a quirky and having to save eri (a girl who I can't imagine would be that skilled at the age she is and has been training on lizards to give his quirk back all together, I'd imagine it taking a few more months but bnhas time is shit so) and coming back in the war arc to punch one person and then basically do noting iicr

The only decently written one was amajiki, I wish they had more going on I think they have a fun dynamic (w them helping taking care of eri and me rlly liking idk what it's called but I love the fluff it brings) :(

Lots of mixed feelings, in all honesty. Lots of mixed feelings.

I'll admit, a big part of my mixed feelings about them is they showed up as the latest, 'Stomp on Izuku's everything' at the point in the story where it was becoming obvious that there was always something stomping on Izuku, and that gave me a bad first impression on them I've never been able to shake... which isn't helped by how they're connected to the clusterfuck of Nighteye, of all people, which is kind of my whole thing with Mirio (warning; I am biased):

As a person, he's obviously nice, but as a character, basiclly his entire reason for existing was, 'give Izuku an existential crisis' and I don't think I've ever forgiven him for that, really. His entire character is just bigger, stronger, older, happier, more capable, more confident, more successful, more loved Izuku, who had a Quirk his whole life and only had to dig deep to find out how strong it, and he, was all along.

Unironically. It's....

It's a really bad look, to be blunt; he feels kind of like a bad fanfiction character written by a bad writer who wanted to put their super special OC in the story, except he's canon.

Since we've never seen him even think something unheroic, there's really nothing that distinguishes him from that impression factual statement, which, again, makes it hard for me to give a shit about him, or even remember him... which is a problem Hori seems to share, lol. It doesn't help that I loathe Sir Nighteye and that most of his development time is spent admiring him, to boot, and that his parts of the story are either empty or focused on a living plot device I can't quite like no matter how hard I try because of how blatant the emotional manipulation is about the biggest story breaking, SOD shattering plot device until Stars and Stripes showed up.

If he ever got any kind of development to flesh him out a human being rather than being either Izuku and/or a heroic archetype, it'd help, but beyond all of that his biggest personality trait is liking jokes, and that barely even comes up. Or, rather, considering both the Final Arc and his response to Bakugou's name, along with Nighteye's own tendencies, 'jokes', maybe.

He doesn't deserve it, I admit it, it's not his fault, but I just can't get past that. He also doesn't deserve to just be forgotten until his big moment of a butt joke, but... MHA, everyone. In all honesty, I'd just like him better if his entire story arc didn't exist in and as some of the worst parts of the Overhaul arc, but he's tainted by that fact.

I freely admit that I am unfairly biased against him, so take all of that with a mountain of salt.

As a side note though, god, the story doesn't seem to realize how badly Nighteye is using the poor kid; Mirio thinks Nighteye is training him because he's worthy, while Nighteye mainly seems to be doing it because he's the closest thing to an All Might clone he can get, bar him actually cloning All Might, even if he grew to like him for who he is. I'm not sure Nighteye ever thought of Mirio with just his Quirk as anything more than a temporary situation; even at the start of canon, when on his own merits he's rising to fame with how successful he is, Nighteye's overall focus is still about getting AFO into the kid.

I almost wish I could see Nighteye explaining how all of his training came down to getting All Might's Quirk, just to see MIrio react and tear Nighteye down a peg about it, except Hori's history of handling these kinds of things means he'd never be allowed to be properly offended on his own behalf, the poor bastard.

Moving on, Tamaki. Out of all of them, he's had the biggest of an on-screen story arc, and in a intellectual way his Quirk is easily the most interesting. Unfortunately, while he has a personality, it feels so bland at times that he's far easier to remember for his Quirk than who he is.

I liked his story, really, but at the time it was overshadowed by Mirio and his everything, and by the time he showed back up it was clear how irrelevant it and he was, so it was more about how (admittedly, very) cool he get his Quirk to be than it was about him, and with some brutal honesty, it's probably because his Quirk is so interesting that he even got that much focus beyond that initial arc by Hori.

And... Nejirie.

In a combat sense she's easily the best of them, really; Mirio is almost purely defensive, which limits him (especially if he's not surprising someone with it) while Tamaki's Quirk, while flexible, is so conditional in ways that can easily hold him back (we only ever see him fight with full preparation; if he's not gearing for a fight he'd be easy to ambush), and like a lot of things in the Final Arc, his big laser canon thing is.... questionable.

Nejirie, though, is just simply powerful. In a setting where everyone has one power and one main application of that power, where you either fly or blast things, but not both, she's the closest I've seen to a 'traditional' super hero, like you'd see in Marvel or DC.

At the same time, though, out of the three of them she least has a story, for obvious reasons, and it's a disgrace, really. If Hori had just spent some time on her, on the her backstory that apparently exists (yeah, I'm not sure where that is either), she could have been so interesting... but really, all she is is the Girl Teammate. Her personality traits are The Girl Teammate's personality traits. She's just The Girl Teammate stamped over all of the interesting stuff, and it's such a waste, it really is.

And finally, as a unit? The Big Three is a shiny toy that Hori forgot in the corner somewhere as soon as he got bored with it. He spent a few minutes oohing and aahing over them, focusing really hard on developing interesting powers, how they could be used, and how strong they were, only to start to lose interest as soon as those powers were established, and he was writing the three of them off before their introductory arc was even over.

#ask #bnha critical #mha critical #nighteye critical #izuku deserves better #my deeply conflicted feelings on Mirio's everything #he doesn't deserve it but still #he's the true victim of the Overhaul arc #i hate nighteye ever so much #hori's chronic hatred of women #the big three is big wasted potential

[milo-igidk]

Not me stalking your account simply by the fact that you say that rawest stuff about my fave character (Keefe) ummm anyways

I used to really hate Fitz for being mad at Keefe for joining the Neverseen and not really understanding his best friend, but a recent reread made me realize that Keefe leaving was SO much more startling for Fitz than Sophie or the reader. Sophie saw the small sighs really early on. I'd even argue that it was as early as Exile. The alicorn ride where he stopped joking for a moment to lay himself out a little? Then of course there's the whole thing with Keefe's mom "dying" and all that, but Fitz probably thought his cheery, happy-go-lucky friend would be okay. Those scenes leading up to Loadstar where you see Keefe's fear and anger? ONLY Sophie sees it. Suddenly Fitz sees his brother and best friend who seem really similar are now a part of the Neverseen? With SO little warning? Without what Sophie saw, I would feel betrayed and angry too. And how would Keefe feel? I bet he felt a lot more alone once he realized that he hid his pain so well that even his best friend didn't really know him.

Sorry, that wasn't really a question and was a bit long, but I thought I'd put it here in case you had some cool thoughts to add that I may have missed. :) (Since you're so good at it)

shxhjxjs omg thanks first of all im glad vdbdnx😭

and also yeees youre so right and i honestly hadnt rlly thought abt that

i feel like keefe and fitz have such an interesting dynamic and i hope shannon like makes them actually talk about shit instead of being like oh fitz is fine with everything now. bc yea fitz really doesnt know a lot of the things going on with keefe and like it goes to show how his demeanour totally changed in that one scene in lodestar when he saw the memories keefe was showing sophie.

honestly i am well over my 'hating fitz' phase that i feel like all kotlc fans have at some point, hes a great character but nooot that great of a friend to keefe? imo? idk i dont think its on purpose i just feel like, like you said, he sees this persona that keefe puts up and doesnt think to look any deeper, even after keefe came back from the neverseen like the only time hes hung out with keef that i can remember being mentioned is when he was looking for memories with cassius, when he was complaining abt sophie to him, or when he needed those drawings for sophies gift. and again its not that much his fault, he just assumes everything is fine and also has his own stuff going on but like still dude. they definitely both need to talk abt like a lot of stuff (coughs what alden said to him in flashback coughs im not still salty youre still salty)

#i love getting asks like this shcbxj #asks #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #keefe sencen #kotlc thoughts #kotlc fandom #sophie foster #kotlc keefe #kotlc sophie #sokeefe #kotlc fitz #fitz vacker

[unclassedguy]

The Details of Genderbend Naoya Au:

*yap incoming*

Just a collection of my thought process and ramblings about this collection of drawings to scratch the itch in my brain.

General ramblings:

This is not a fleshed out au. There isn't much of a storyline and I don't exactly know if I will ever make one.

The au doesn't follow the jjk canon apart from some general things like Toji leaving Megumi and Tsumiki etc.

The ‘story’ follows Naoya Zenin after an accident that should have killed him instead leaves him unscathed. That is, until he wakes up the next day with a girl's body, a kogane companion, and the ability to see strange creatures (cursed spirits) and people who should have been long dead.

Bro is basically now part of a culling game-esque event involving people who were saved from death like him, those who died long ago and were resurrected, and creatures that should have never entered the living realm. Some people such as him with bad karma for their actions, are given certain handicaps and/or punishments when they're brought back from death. Hence girl-Naoya.

But, by destroying the souls of beings with even more bad karma than you, you can gain points that will give you access to abilities (cursed techniques) or lessen your own punishment or handicap.

The Kogane function the same here as they do in canon.

Basically, this is me drawing fem Naoya with a bunch of extra steps 💀

Drawing one:

A lot of the ‘story’ of this au just happened randomly as I was doodling, Kenjaku and Takaba running Naoya over being part of that.

I wanted to draw Naoya reacting to him becoming a girl for the shits and giggle, yk, the sillies

And before I knew it I had Naoya getting run over by a truck 💀

The reason Takaba is the driver is because of that one scene in Kenjaku vs Takaba, Kenjaku is in the passenger's seat just because.

There is no reason as to what they're singing besides me wanting them to have been distracted by something goofy 

You might have noticed Naoya is holding something. Idk what it is though 

Its like….a wand…a club…? It's based off his first form as a cursed spirit, the one where he looks like a worm

Yes, his shirt does indeed say “why women deserve less”. It's based on that one fanart of him reading a book with the same title. 

Drawing two:

The first thing I thought of when I imagined Naoya going on a ‘quest’ to become a man again was that ant carrying a bindle.

(It gives pathetic energy, which i enjoy giving my Naoya drawings)

This is actually my first time drawing Hana, I actually like drawing her

I'm so sorry to people who like Nobara and Maki, I can't draw them that well 😭😭😭

I'm thinking Hana/Angel are trying to fix whatever is going on with the souls of the deceased/players, and are thus gathering allies (though they also want to defeat a certain king of curses even in this au as well 👀)

Naoya ends up joining her, Maki, and Nobara as allies (no one is happy about this)

They will put him in his place, especially Maki.

(I wonder what would happen if he met Yuki…)

Naoya and Hana is a combination I didn't think I'd ever draw interacting tbh 💀

But for some reason that's what ended up happening

Other thoughts:

It's so cute how the kogane have different designs sometimes based on who they belong to. It reminds me of the crows in kny.

I wonder if they're meant to represent something about each player???

For example, the one we see with Naoya when we're first introduced to his curse form has a skull like face, which we later see on Naoya's second curse form.

His looks so crusty and I love it

I rlly wanted it to be his companion in this au

Honestly, I was thinking Naoya upon turning into a girl would try everything he could to make himself look more traditionally masculine

But I still wanted to draw him in a skirt, you know, because

So…uh…yeah 👍

His ass doesn't even want to be a woman, but let's be fr, he be styling his hair in the mirror or some shit thinking things like ‘if only every woman paid half as much attention to how she holds herself as me!’ Thinking he's giving everyone a good example or something 💀

Stfu Naoya 

I have a third addition to this collection of drawings in the works. It'll probably be up in a few days, depending on if I have time to work on it or not. This will probably be the last piece of this au for a while.

Part 1 , Part 2 Edit: Part 3

#naoya zenin #naoya #jjk naoya #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk au #genderbend

[dxrlinggxd]

who i think may/may not die in vol 2

since noah just confirmed that there will be some deaths in v2, here's my opinion on all the characters' safety

NOT safe:

lucas sinclair

the first name that came to mind. he might get vecna'd in vol 2 and he kinda seems killable rn if that makes sense (not that i want him to die don't get me wrong i love lucas) and also (this applies to the other 3 boys) it wld be rlly mean to kill them off just before the final season

max mayfield

i was 85% sure she was getting vecna'd again in vol 2 and then the new teaser practically confirmed it. the vol 2 trailer doesn't look good for her

dustin henderson

could die saving steve, plus the duffers said a fan fav is dying, but also he's one of the 4 ogs so for that reason alone he might be safe

murray bauman

the hilarious comic relief character everyone loves. seen this film before

enzo/dmitri

i was surprised they hadnt killed him off already, but now if they do it wouldn't be surprising at all so idk lets see

mike wheeler

this is the one character who i assumed was safe because i was just all "nah they wouldn't do that"...but honestly? he isn't rlly safe. there's also the whole IT parallel to think abt (bec it's basically canon that will has feelings for mike). but then again like i said earlier, they might not kill the of 4 in the penultimate season

jonathan byers

i feel like of the teens this is the most likely death. not steve or eddie or robin, as I'll explain later. and i highly doubt nancy. his death would hurt everybody but especially will (we know he gets a bigger arc)

erica sinclair

again, the entertaining side character. you never know

karen wheeler

she has a character poster even though she rlly hasn't played a major role so far. there was also that clip in the trailer where shes scared and holding holly. very very likely shes dying

UNSURE ABOUT

(in descending order of likelihood)

jim hopper

again, he got too close to peril for him to actually die again, but again, we never know. of the people in this section, he seems the most likely to die

nancy wheeler

they put her too close to peril for her to actually die. her character also feels like it has a lot of potential vis-a-vis the plot. i'd say a 93% chance she survives

steve harrington & eddie munson

put them together because they have the same explanation: does the way the show is going seem to set up for their deaths? yes. but i think it was shawn levy who said steve is safe, and also joseph essentially said he's in s5, so they wont die. most likely. but they could also just be lying so :|

[edit] + robin says to steve in the vol 2 "i have this terrible feeling it might not work out for us this time" so tbh...idh a good feeling

joyce byers

she could've died, maybe, but winona accidentally said she's in s5 so lol she might not. she isn't a hundred percent in danger (and also there's that snippet of jon and will hugging that we need to be wary of)

SAFE

el hopper

no way she's getting killed off with a whole season left

will byers

again, no way he's dying with a whole season left + he obviously has a much bigger role to play

robin buckley

because it'd just be plain wrong for them to kill off their only openly lgbt character. and also vickie apparently has a bigger role to play. so

#stranger things 4 spoilers #stranger things #stranger things theories #stranger things theory #will byers #will byers is gay #mike wheeler #st4 #byler #stranger things s4 #will byres #eddie munson #steve harrington #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #lucas sinclair #erica sinclair #max mayfield #dustin henderson #el #eleven #el hopper #eleven hopper #jane hopper #argyle #jonathan byers #joyce byers #jim hopper #murray bauman #enzo

[arminsumi]

No i feel you😭😭

Gege can literally suck my left nut cause that is so foul of them to do😭😭

noo b/c ik its to move the story forward and whatnot but i can’t believe that actually happened!!! But ig it’ll make for character development or wtv but they can do that with him

Hope we can get past this🤟🏽😔

i get it, i get it!! 🥹👍 but gosh i'm still so upset over it. it's beena while since a fav char of mine was subject to an awful fate.

the last time i felt this heartbroken was over aot season 3, if u know u know (flaming hot bbq lol)

tbh i have nooo idea what's happening in the story because i am not up to date with the manga at all, i've just seen so many spoilers because of tumblr. so i know major events but not finer details like who else is fighting or what's being said.

ok very spoilerz down here beware!!

tbh if anything is gonna give character development, it's gojo's death. i know if i would be in that world and he died, yo i'd go feral (and die stupidly 👍 let's be real i'd be the background char)

i tell u when i woke up this morning to that panel!! like what the fuck my daddy got halved damn!!

my heart felt some kinda way, literally pain spread through my chest like i got bad news irl 😭

it made me spark a debate with my mom about "why are we able to attach to fictional characters" and she even talked to my grandmother about it lol. idk i think they came to the conclusion that it's because reality is an illusion or something lol but anyways

i think about that often though. it's very fascinating that we can feel so deeply about stories and i'm impressed by authors like gege who can induce such deep emotion in us.

it's rlly nice i've seen snips of his convo with geto and that (fucking destroyed me) that was a very beautiful touch. i think gojo's end is probs final, considering the fact we have this kinda afterlife scene or smth (again idek i just be here gettin spoiled and that's how i know anything)

ok seriousness aside GEGE THIS IS THE WRONG TYPE OF TOPLESS, PUT MY DADDY HALVES BACK TOGETHER !!

#im jk #why did this turn into such a lengthy ramble sorry lol #thank u for saying hi tho !! 💗💗💗💗🫂 hope we get thru this #jjk spoilers

[crispy-bonnie]

Hi hiiii!!! Request time :)

- Okkk so if u could, can I ask for Dallas, Hoxton, Houston, Sokol, Medic, Dozer and Taser?

- OH also idk if you said u could write for him but if u could maybe like... Jimmy too? I've already requested so many, it's perfectly ok if u can't rn /nm

- If you can't do that many it's chill !!

- So like..the prompt is literally that reader wears rlly cute stuff bc yea

- Like, skirts, knee high socks, Mary Jane shoes, pink blushy makeup and soft strawberry pinks :)

- Here are some examples !!

- So reader just likes presenting rlly fem and cute

- As for personality, I think it'd be cool if reader was also cheerful/optimistic with energy all the time :D

- Reader doesn't actually have to be a female/have she/her pronouns, but I'd rather not have anything that suggests reader is male or anything (genderless is okay tho !!)

Ty for reading this + answering!! Here's a song :)

I LOVE THIS ??? GRAHHH SOFT PASTELS AND CUTE CLOTHING IQHESFUJHWV i've always wanted to present fem like this but then people would thing i'm not a he/they so it's pretty difficult lol also , first time writing with jimmy and houston ! so this is gonne be a bit tough but i can sure as hell do my best !i'm also gonna add the bonus of the reader being small because fuck you /lh no i'm not projecting stfu

i would also like to note that some of these are a bit rushed because oh my god this took WAY too long to complete

You're cute, small, and optimistic - PAYDAY GANG + FBI UNITS

Dallas

If you don't bring this man happiness, then I don't know who does You're just so small and happy like oh my god why are you such a bean- And the things you dress in are just adorable too like wtf

Dallas will go through hell and back to make sure that nobody hurts his precious bean

If you're actually vicious and tough during heists then he'll actually be terrified

Like- no matter how many heists he's been on with you, it always catches him off guard when you pull out a fucking flamethrower and torch anyone who gets in your way [including civilians if you're that careless] while rocking some Mary Janes and a cute pink skirt

If that's not the case and you're actually a lot more frail, then he'll pretty much be a human shield for you so that you don't die He'll be constantly screaming for a medic bag, but not for himself, but rather for you so that he makes sure that there's medical supplies at the ready if you get hurt

While off-duty, he just loves to spend time with you. Playing games, drawing, pretty much anything

You're always so bubbly and happy, even during his bad days you always manage to find a way to cheer him up and make him smile

Hoxton

Again, you're a little bundle of sunshine for Hoxton, but the difference is that he'll actually tease you about it

He'll often call you sweet nicknames, but the ones he calls you by most are 'Sunshine' and 'Sweetheart'

If you're struggling to do something like reach something on a high shelf or lift a heavy object, he'll end up doing it for you with a cheeky remark "Sweetheart, if you need a ladder then just call for me."

If you're extreme on the field, he'll try his best to lay off on the teasing so that he doesn't get a bullet right between the eyes "Hey Sweetcheeks, run a little faster would ya- okay okay I'm sorry please put the Garand away-"

If that's not the case, then he'll be pretty similar to Dallas. He'll do anything to make sure that you get hurt

If you so much as get a tear on one of your knee-highs or one of your accessories gets damaged, he'll murder the one who broke it and make sure to take it to Aldstone for fixing the second you get back from the heist

But on the more sweet side, he'll do his best to spend time with you. He'll drop anything and everything to join you if you're baking though

Either because your treats are really good or he doesn't trust you to not burn the safe house down

Houston

Houston can and will tease you about your height, and sometimes he’ll jokingly question the practicality of your fit during battle

If you’re an aggressive bean, he won’t hesitate to zip his mouth when you threateningly point your Commando-101 directly at him

If not, he’ll just continue with his teasing. In both situations, he’ll eventually tone down on the teasing, especially with your bubbly behavior

The sparkle in your eyes when something catches your attention, your genuine worry when he gets hurt, your enthusiasm to make sure he gets back into the game, gAHH someone please put this man into the freezer because he’s MELTED

Can and will find any excuse to hold you. Whether it be lifting you up to reach something high or carrying you to safety during a heist. Just seeing your small figure adorned in such adorable and bright clothes really makes his day

It’s like a big contrast compared to all the bloodshed and other horrifying things that he’s unfortunately gotten used to. You’re just his little marshmallow

Jimmy

Legit thought he was trippin when he saw you walk in wearing your bright pastel fit. Then again, he’s always trippin

But like- he was so confused. In a good way though? He was shocked to see such a contrast in what would usually a dumb and sober world.

For a minute he thought you were a hallucination from all the coke he’s been snorting, but eventually he finally gets the memo that you are indeed real

Jimmy legit thinks that you’re an angel or something, so that’s what he calls you.

If you’re a more chaotic one during heists, then he’ll refer to you as Guardian Angel and help you slay all the cops

If that’s not the case, he does his damnedest to protect you from harm’s way. If you or even your outfit gets damaged, he immediately goes ham

This applies to the rest of the gang too. If they harm you emotionally or physically then he WILL throw hands

Sokol

“Why are you dressed up like little baby?” Was the first thing he said to you. He was so confused about your attire, and your behavior confused him more

How the fuck can you stay so cheerful while you’re stealing nuclear weapons??

At some point, he starts to appreciate your optimism, as it helps to get through heists and life in general. Hell, he might even join you in the encouragement

He’s still confused about the clothes though, and he’ll keep asking about it too. If you end up taking his words personally, he’ll fucking PANIC and do anything to make you feel better

The second he saw tears his mind went into ‘oh my god the world is ending’ mode and frantically attempted to make you feel better [which he did]

Though still not understanding the whole fashion thing, he does his best not to ask about it any further

Taser

LITERALLY STIMMING WHEN HE SEES YOU LIKE HELP THIS MAN PLEAS E

Istg Taser is like a fucking 4 year old so when he seed you wearing those adorable strawberry themed clothes and shoes he just can’t help but bombard you with compliments

If you’re chaotic in battle, this man will get so distracted watching you fight that he’ll end up tasing himself two times before realizing what the hell is going on

Please let this man play dress up with you oml

He’ll put you in all sorts of pastel outfits, a lot of them with lightning bolt themes, and this mf will just swoon when he sees you in it. He’ll die [/pos] if you wear it more often

Treats you like a princess and will literally do anything. He’ll even go the extra mile by calling you ‘Your Majesty’

Cloaker ended up taking a notice to this and started teasing you

Let’s just say that it didn’t end well for the drop-kicking unit

Dozer

Dozer finds your fashion and demeanor so adorable like omfg

He saw you and went "MUST PROTECT AT ALL COSTS"

If you're a monster on the field, he'll fall for you even more because oh my god SLAY GURL SLAY

You two are so optimistic like- you've got matching energy. He screams at his teammates to not die, you scream at them to not die, it's perfect!

Regardless of your strength in battle, he'll still become a meat shield for you due to your small frame

If ANYONE ruins your fit he will find them and personally beat them down, even if it's a civilian [in which Captain Winters screams at him for it lol]

You were the one who painted the kawaii face on that Dozer mask. No, this is not optional. You were the one who did it.

Dozer will actually encourage you to paint his helmet or add cute little accessories to that and his armor so that you two can slay together!

Medic

You are the one thing that keeps this man from going insane and torching down the entire police force

When he's having a hard day, all he has to do is look at you and whoops the pain is gone

Literally a painkiller

Weak or strong, he'll make sure to be behind you for most of the battle. Sure there's other units in need of healing but you're top priority

He'll go Cloaker feral if anyone [especially the Payday gang] hurts you or even does so much as get their filthy hands on your awesome fit

He'll be the one to wash and/or repair your outfits because oh my god your clothes look expensive, but not in a fancy way. More of a "I spent 100 bucks on Shein to get all of this shit"

Medic also likes to make outfits for you himself. He'll either sew or buy them and encourage you to try them on

#payday #payday 2 #payday 2 x reader #payday x reader #x reader #reader insert #headcanons #request #fanfiction #fanfic #oh my god this literally took forever #crispy writes

[mokutone]

I'm drawing Kakashi for the first time (as much as I love them, I rarely ever draw naruto characters so this is a little fun and new for me) and I'm struggling a little bc I'm trying to draw him relaxed, reclining with pakkun (in the way I recline with my cat) and I'm realizing there's something so personal abt drawing him in such a vulnerable pose ig. Like? I'm very tired too rn so maybe I'm being extra emotional and rambly but there are so few scenes of kakashi in canon where he's not wearing the jounin vest, where he's alone and relaxed and out of uniform. And I didn't realize it until I was trying to think back to other similar scenes and there really weren't any. and I'm kind of mesmerized by how you draw him because you capture that so so well, your art is gorgeous but it's also so real and expressive in a way that shows a lot of practice and a lot of love. Idk i think I've said this before and I'm sorry if it's annoying that I'm saying it again (I'll just shut up after this lol) but I went to an art school and I had massive burnout and only really started drawing again in the past 6 months and you were one of my inspirations 2 start drawing again and I'm still not as good as I'd like to be but I draw so much more now and having an actual passion for art has led to a huge improvement, so thank you and thank u for bearing with me and my sleep-deprived rambles. I think my original point got sidetracked. I forgot why i started writing this ask.

dkgjhsdgkjdshg no i think you're 100% right abt the kakashi relaxed thing, even when we see him "relaxed" he doesn't ever really Look relaxed. like

here he is chilling out in the hot springs. this man does not look relaxed but he DOES look exhausted and maybe a little like he's gotten lost. somebody help this confused man find the exit.

anyway art + motivation talk beneath the cut

djhsdkjghsdkjhg thank u for all the compliments abt my art, i do work really hard in order to draw expressive characters, and spend a lot of time paying attention to how the small details in posture and expression change how the character comes across, and im glad it pays off!

also yeah no, similarly, once i left art school (when the pandemic hit) i did have a good 6 months where i did not pick up the pencil even once, and like, usually i feel rlly bad or guilty when i'm not drawing, but my burnout was real bad and i was straight up angry abt everything dgkjhsdgkjh so i just...didn't draw for like 6 months. i didn't even feel bad about it bc i was too busy being angry

and i had a bad relationship with art at the time and eventually realized i kind of had to like? make a different relationship with art—like, try to stop seeing art as something which gave me fundamental worth as a human being, or part of who i am? you know? that's a LOT of pressure to put on just...something that i do. if i took that kind of approach to literally any other task in my life, i'd never do it. imagine thinking that the way and style with which you descend the stairs gives you your worth as a person and if you don't do it exactly right then it means you're worthless as a person? buddy i'd just find a way to go down and out through the window LMAO

i think this is the thing which gives a lot of people burnout, it's exhausting to be constantly working on something and ALSO believe that if you fuck it up even a little, it's because you are the fuckup, and a fundamental failure of a person. god thats so much pressure.

anyway so i decided to make a naruto art blog because i don't even like naruto That Much but my best friend had been trying to get me into it for years (ty kate ilu kate), and so any art that i made would be purely for fun, wouldn't have anything to do with my self worth, and might make kate laugh too, and that's why this blog exists! and taking the pressure off of creating art like that has been enormously helpful to my mental health and my ability to create, also i take breaks alllllll the time, i'm like...way healthier about my art thanks to that, and also just...a nicer person, i think? anyway i'm very glad that i inspired you to get back into art but i'm far more glad that you've found a passion for it, cultivating that passion and joy is so important

#a lot of the way i approach art is bc i worked with kids for a while and like. u can kinda tell when a kid is at the breaking point w/ art #where they're like ''if one more thing goes wrong i am going to Lose It'' #+ at that point as a ''teacher'' u have to pick between giving them critique on their artwork to improve OR letting it go + saying their #art is good and they're doing really well #and i always pick the second one—LIKE. once the kid is no longer feeling soooo frustrated abt their art that they're at a breakin point? #THEN we can talk critique. and even then i will still tell them what they're doing well #until theyre at that point tho its all ''yeah!!! you're killing it! look at these new skills you're learning! look how you're improving!'' #''look how funny/beautiful/exciting/cool your piece is!!!!'' #because first and foremost. i think that art should be enjoyed #having creation as a friend and ally vs A Duty is sooo important #TO BE CLEAR LIKE. this is also still technically a form of critique #i dont just say ''good job champ! great work doing art!'' if u wanna compliment art and have it mean something you do have to be #specific about what is good...not ''that looks great!'' but ''wow you draw really fabulously detailed noses! #or ''wow the fashion you're drawing is really cool—i wish i had that jacket!'' like. #as in all things. compliments and praise are only meaningful if they are /meant/ and you cant fake that #MY POINT IS. if we want to take the pressure off ourselves with art. i think we also gotta treat ourslves like this #look at what we're doing and compliment things we genuinely think weve improved upon. love our successes #nothing better for the ego than to compare new art to old art and look at what weve changed #i should do some redraws at some point #my jutsu

[alienpupy]

About your top surgery:

Firstly, though, hoi! I'd like to say that I am happy for you, but I don't really feel happiness. Just nothing. But I am proud of you that you got the top surgery and seem very happy about it.

And going through your posts about it, I realize that I want top surgery, too. But I'm also genuinely afraid of the post-surgery time. And this makes me wonder, were you nervous or anxious before the surgery? (Also, apologies for the rambles and for not feeling the happiness for you)

no worries im happy to talk abt it :] i was anxious in the weeks and days coming up to the surgery, yea, but it was more anxiety abt stuff around the surgery than the procedure itself (like, ik several people who got top surgery at the same clinic and everything n they're super reputable so i wasnt worried about the medical aspect, just the preparations + i had to move appartments 10 days before the surgery + had to pack up AGAIN bc im actually staying with my parents for a month or two bc you absolutely need ppl to assist you with stuff during early recovery)

the closest thing to anxiety abt the actual surgery i had was one time a few weeks before it i was like "wait. what if i don't actually want this what if this is a mistake" and then to test it i put a bra and tshirt on and realized yeah no absolutely not thats just pointless self-doubt and i still hate these

it was rlly surreal tho if im being honest? idk if its even fully hit me that this was real and actually happened. I've wanted top surgery since i was like 13 but obv for most of that it felt like it was really distant in the future, and yet now that im flat it just feels. normal? like im still super early recovery so i havent actually seen my chest w/o the bandages yet but still just looking in the mirror with the bandages flat on my chest it just looks natural to me. its been less than a week and im already forgetting what it was like to have tits lmao (altho to be fair i've been binding for years so its not like they were ever a huge part of my life, just a major inconvenience)

and post-surgery really isnt that bad. i've complained about the weird nerve stuff, yea, but that does clear up eventually (altho ik it usually take years for the nerves to fully 100% heal, they're the slowest thing to regenerate). I've had basically zero pain, but i was still prescribed pain meds to take if i need them and given a lot of advice for healing as best as possible. the most important thing is definitely to have someone (or multiple people) be able to take time off to help you with everything (like, from food to drains to making sure you're comfortable and checking on you, you're not supposed to move your arms a lot or lift anything heavy for the first 6-ish weeks).

Post-op depression can be a thing for a lot of people too, but it hasnt hit me (at least not yet) and it can be avoided/mitigated by making sure you're not alone. having friends over, or calling people, making sure you still have games or movies or art to keep u occupied helps a ton.

also i dont think i've said it here before but i got top surgery at GRC montreal, and gender-affirming surgeries are covered by the government here in canada. I sent my paperwork/referral stuff there in may of last year, and it took them a couple months for each stage of processing but they gave me my surgery date (june 7th) a couple of months before, so (not counting the time to get a gender dysphoria diagnosis + letters from doctors and therapists and junk) i only had to wait about a year.

#sorry for the rambly answer dhshjfhsd #i hope it was helpful?? feel free to ask more tho i like talking abt it #green-cryptid-text #top surgery

[bookwyrminspiration]

Hi! I saw you rb'd the post about autism and I rlly wanted to talk abt it! I don't live in the US, and therapists where i live are almost the same as you described. Idk if i have ADHD or Autism or something else entirely, but I do know there's something different from me than other people. I've known ever since I was little. I know my brain works differently, I see things differently, and I feel left out because of it. I relate to almost every obscure ADHD symptom (like i relate to the "i got distracted" but also the very specific "not everyone goes through that" ones).

I don't want to self diagnose because I'm nowhere near being an expert on neurodivergency, but I also know I'm different. Idk what to do because I talked to a therapist once about it (we didnt discuss it, i just mentioned it) and she said that if I've gotten this far (i'm 17) without a diagnosis and I've done fine, a diagnosis won't change that. I think that a diagnosis would 100% help because i would at least know for sure because rn i feel like i'm going crazy. Maybe everything I've been experiencing has just been the product of undealt with trauma, idk, but i rlly wish i knew for sure.

I imposter syndrome myself into thinking i'm actually just as normal as everyone else and am just thinking this becusde i want to think i'm "special". Which isn't true i'm 99% sure-

Sorry for the rant. I just dont know what to do :(

Hello, Nonsie! No need to apologize for the rant, I'm sorry you're in this situation. It absolutely sucks when therapists and other mental health professionals are like that. Sometimes it feels like they've made a decision about you already and are just tolerating you the rest of the time and dismissing everything else.

I've also been through the exact same thing with the "I know there's something different about me." I always chalked it up to me being "the gifted kid," but then I was different from all the other gifted kids as well. I didn't know what it was, so I instead turned to fiction and to stories. Especially those with magic and inhuman creatures, because I knew that whatever it was that made someone human, I didn't have it. So I saw myself instead in fairies and fae and as I got older, in monsters (I mean this in a good way). My point is that I think I understand the knowing you're different but not being able to put a finger on it experience. I often describe it as living in a bubble where I can see everyone else and they can see me, but I'm not with them. I'm separate even amongst everyone.

I will just say that if you don't think you're qualified to self-diagnose, I'd suggest looking into it more! Self-diagnoses are incredibly valid and are fairly accepted from what I've seen. Most people are very understanding about the process and about reasons why you might not be able to/not want to get an official diagnosis. I think almost all people who have diagnosed have also had the "I don't know enough to make this call" experience and then go on to look into it before doing so. They're generally not made lightly, instead made with the insight and reflection of weeks, months, years worth of work and research.

Also, I don't know how the rules work wherever you live, but it's possible that you'd be able to look into evaluations outside of your therapist if she is adamant about you not needing one. I know where I live I could find an evaluation location and submit the paperwork independently--though I think as a minor I'd need to include parent contact information, but then again maybe not. And that's also just where I am

You could also approach her or another therapist about it again and say that it's an avenue you'd like to explore even if it won't change much. Therapy is about you, so if you want something you're allowed to express that. One note I'd like to add is that I'd advise against relying on outside sources entirely for confirmation that your experiences aren't you "going crazy." That's not to say that an official diagnosis wouldn't be a relief or a breath of fresh air and a "finally! it was real!" That's an entirely understandable reason to want an evaluation or diagnosis, it's just that things don't always work perfectly and people can be wrong. So if you're basing your understanding entirely on someone else's assessment and they miss something, it can feel like a huge disappointment. And it's more likely when the system isn't friendly towards you.

I can tell you that you aren't making it up and that whatever you've experienced and been through, it is real and valid and you deserve answers about it. Whether those answers come from yourself or through treatment, I hope you find what you're looking for. I actually think a very common and relatable finding out you might be autistic/adhd/something else is obsessing over it and then convincing yourself you're making everything up and are actually normal and just suck at being a person.

I don't know if you want advice, but I think if I were in your situation (based on the knowledge I have) I'd look into it more. There are plenty of YouTube videos and online resources you can use to help figure things out, and if it's something you want then research what options are available in your area and what the requirements are (e.g. age/information/if you can do it alone or not). When I was first exploring all these possibilities, I started a thing in my notes app to keep track of different experiences that could potentially indicate or relate to something so I could look into it later, so maybe that could help!

I'm wishing you the best of luck in whatever comes next for you in this experience <33

#quil's queries #nonsie #autism #adhd #neurodiveristy #I don't know what other areas you might want to look into but if you wanted a few references for looking into autism #then I could share some #in terms of like. online information #different tests you can take (not official evaluations) to give you a sense #or if anyone else wants them :) #long post

[by-kilian]

okay you’ve officially made me wanna watch the punisher i’ve been putting it off cause the punisher and karen not ending up together would emotionally scar me for life (idk if they’re meant to be love interests but they just look so good together) and from the few spoilers i’ve seen i think they don’t end up together😔 but if i can see ben be a lil deranged and crazy and a lil slut on screen i think the trauma is the price i have to pay I also LOVED the bearr it was rlly rlly good i finished it in a day😭 it also didn’t hurt that lip gallagher turned line cook was rlly unhinged anytime he was on screen 😍😍i loved seeing him turn ballistic at any minor inconvenience cuz same <3

I actually hate Frank & Karen together 💀, they were never meant to be love interests! The show kind of just ran with the fandom's love for the two of them together, but early on in the show, Jon Bernthal even said that Karen most likely reminded Frank of his daughter 😵‍💫 so I really hate the two of them together. Ssfgsg but if that's what other people like, I'll obv not shit on it. But yeah, Ben is a deranged little shit in that show and he is SO good at it, it's insane. It really bothers me he doesn't book bigger roles, he is so talented! The trauma IS the price to pay. Also YESS, The Bear was so good, I think I finished it in 2 days. It's a quick watch too. Oddly enough I never cared for J.A.W., but seeing him in this role made me go 👀 . He's an amazing actor and uniquely good-looking imo. As for One Piece, isn't that HELLA and I mean HELLA episodes? I don't think I'd ever start that unless I were forced to stay indoors till the end of time (hopefully we will be with the way shit is going idk). I do hope you're enjoying your time off before classes start again though! Also yes, I'm pretty certain I'd love JJK just based off SS/gifsets. I pretty much know everything that happens despite not watching. I don't know as much about Geto as I do about Gojo, but I do love his annoying ass. And Itadori is so precious to me as is 😭. He also seems dumb as fuck which is just *Chef (The Bear) kiss*. I love stupid characters foghsogho. They appeal to my soul. And no! You have nothing to apologize for. I enjoy talking to you all when I get a chance ❤️. The door's always open to send an ask, I make time to answer when I can :3 I appreciate you stopping by!

#asks

[thedissociatives]

tagged by @fedorovista ty !!

1. are you named after anyone?

um. not rlly ? did have a friend who thought i named myself after qhughes which was insanely funny because i in fact Did Not it is all just a crazy coincidence that he's one of my fav players

2. when was the last time you cried?

was gonna say idk but that's a lie. last week an episode of house got to me a bit too much (wilson's heart :/)

3. do you have kids?

no

4. what sports do you play/have you played?

like everyone else round here i did play a bit of football as a kid. was always the goalie which is Interesting. other than that i never rlly played much sport

5. do you use sarcasm?

i try and it doesn't work. i think i'm the only non-sarcastic british person

6. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

how they talk (not necessarily accents. mainly dialect stuff)

7. what’s your eye color?

blue

8. scary movies or happy endings?

scary movies because outside of bridget jones' diary i can't remember the last time i watched a film with even a remotely happy ending

9. any talents?

apparently i'm a good writer. which i don't rlly get since i haven't put any major efforts into improving for a bit so i think it's just ok

10. where were you born?

isle of man ! however since moving to england over 10 yrs ago my accent has like. completely gone (also why i just say i'm british because it's just easier)

11. what are your hobbies?

writing (even tho i haven't had the time and energy to do any for a few months outside of classwork), watching tv/film if that counts, and i'm getting back into playing bass again after too long of a break

12. do you have any pets?

ya i have a dog called sparky. he's a border terrier/jack russell mix. because of that he is still completely fucking insane even tho he's 10 and shows no sign of slowing down any time soon (pretty fitting name i guess lol)

13. how tall are you?

like. 5'3.5" ??? idk it changes almost every time i go to the doctors

14. favorite subject in school?

history. 100%. although i did always rlly like music too

15. dream job

idk exactly but i want to work in the media in some capacity. as long as i don't have to be in front of a camera i'd do just about anything

i. don't actually have anyone to tag this time so gonna open this up to anyone who wants to do it :)

#woah just looked at the time it's almost 2am. gonna get off my laptop now

[lamonnaie]

hi!! gmmtv anon again :)

it feels like they’re trying to catch up with all of their delayed stuff, which is good for them and for us ig. they’re already filming two of the announced shows, and phuwin said they are gonna start filming we are pretty soon - they have three q’s for wednesday club left and filming for we are should start soonish after he’s done with that. also, the interest has already been filmed i think. same goes for my precious which is apparently just a longer version of the movie from what i’ve gathered.

and i just saw that they dropped the wednesday club trailer which is supposed to start airing at the beginning of november (sidenote: i love how they air two eps a week for a lot of their het shows lmao). 23.5 is definitely gonna air in 2024 but we already knew that. cooking crush and last twilight might take over the slote of dangerous romance and only friends. so that would be another two unaired gmm23 shows out of the way.

pls fk also had me fooled. mostly bc they said they were gonna go on stage together and i mean they didn’t lie but damn was i disappointed when it was only for school rangers and the LOL announcement lol.

pond definitely said he was gonna focus on school next year, but idk about joong. i would love for him to do at least another show, preferably with dunk 🤡, since i don’t think he’ll play a huge part in ploy’s yearbook and his arc looks to be a adoptive siblings falling in love with each other story which i’m personally not a fan of.

i’m also very bad at predicitions but i think it’s mostly because i’m heavily biased when it comes to my faves 😭.

oh reddit is on another level fr. i saw the jossgawin rumor and was like oh that would be fun but never in a million years would i have expected them to actually pair them upx and don’t even get me started on the greatinn thing bc i read that post and was like 👁️👄👁️ when i was done

helloo :)

okay when u put it like that, it seems that they're not going too bad for scheduling so far (i'm so glad). wednesday club !!! absolute missed opportunity to not be airing it on wednesdays smh

also i find it so funny that taynew offgun got 2 new shows when their 2023 ones haven't even aired yet 😂😭 gmm rlly said 💲capitalism💲, they know there's a guaranteed audience there so they went for it lmao

WAIT WHAT i did not know it was a stepsiblings story 😭😭 i've seen plenty of that in taiwan, was not expecting gmm to go there hajskdjf. i definitely want more joongdunk, but i also wanna see joong in another het role because he was great in the warp effect (also i just like seeing people outside of their established cps :)) also joylada gang show when?? i wanna see the 4 of them act together so bad 😩😩 it could be the worst show ever and i'd STILL tune in

also its interesting that there were so many rookies cast in shows this time around, i don't think it's usually this many?

that's so real about ur favs tho, if u ask me to make predictions about any het series i will NOT have a clue lmao

honestly half convinced someone on reddit works at gmm at this point, i'm gonna lurk on there for a bit before the next part of announcements and i bet there'll be a guaranteed bingo on my bingo card 😆

#u get ur own tag now anon #gmmtv anon #gotta go back and tag all ur asks xD #asks

[deadblrr]

*Hunger and throwing up content warnings for real owwie and gross*

So turns out my anxiety isn't a thing that just stops me from going outside.

My sister is having a rough time so her (pregnant!) self and her 3 kids are staying over. They're sleeping and generally staying in the front room. Which is fine n dandy, I love my sister a whole bunch and although I don't like children, they overwhelm me easily, I do my best to be nice to them and give hugs and play little games when I go into the front room. Because no matter how much I fucking hate it and the noise and the mess, they're just kids that's what they do and for some god only knows reason they like me and I will NOT punish or upset these kids in any way just because I'm fuckin weird.

Anyways. Our flat (which the landlord might be selling so I might be homeless at some point? Either homeless or the rent goes up. Either way.. Fuck.) is tiny and the kitchen is a little rectangle attached to the front room and it's also fucking messy!

Okay so. Being in a messy place (but apparently only a mess i didn't make??) is rlly stressful and then there's also the kids so I kinda go to the kitchen to feed cat and then book it outta there. I do usually grab a couple packets of crisps or something but that's like not really a lot and also not an actual meal.

But, usually, i get by.

Last night my dad bought me a pizza which is cool because I very much hadn't eaten dinner the day before and also I think I are like some biscuits that day and that was it? But when I went to cook it..

So, our oven is broken and we have one of those little airfryer oven things but the slow cooker was already out on our only bit of kitchen counter and I didn't know where to put it and instead of asking I just.... Went to bed. I really didn't want to be an annoyance for my sister who was trying to sleep or my mum who was just so tired and had the kids sat with her.. And i think my dad was in the toilet but also I'd probably die before asking him for help anyways.

So I'm laying there, like oh ow. Probably should have eaten, huh? And then i start feeling sick. I sleep for a couple hours with myself propped up on plushies to help keep the sick feeling down and that's fine until I wake up at like midnight really in pain and feeling so very very sick. But moving sorta makes it worse. So i slowly sit up and figure alright. Guess that was enough sleep. But the feeling persists and gets worse and by the time I'm like "Oh Shit. I'm actually going to throw up and there's no stopping it" it's too late for me to manage to stand up and get to the bathroom so,,, I just kinda throw up on the floor. (important side note, I'm some kind of neurodivergent [duh] and sleep on the floor w blankets and plushies. So basically i vommed in my bed. Managed to move aside my blanket tho. So glad about that)

So like. Idk? That's obviously not good and I should probably be more worried about my health and making sure that I eat something but A. Sister asleep on frontroom floor, so I can't get a snak, and B... I'm apparently more worried about the inconvenience it'll be to wash my clothes and also the towel i used to mop up the mess.. Like. There's already clothes on the hangers and probably already clothes in the washing machine so idk how?? Idk how I'm supposed to wash my stuff without telling anyone because I CANT tell them because they'll think I'm stupid or my sister will feel bad about it and idk. I think I'd rather just like... Sit in my vommed on trousers and not leave my room before I starve to death.

Bit of an exaggeration but only because I hate being sick and thus if I'm gonna go I'd rather it not be via something that'll make me sick.

Idk. Just. Not fun. And idk why I'm like thisssss ugh. It's 2am so hopefully I can not throw up again before like. 6-7?.... Idk when ppl wake up I usually wake up at like 20 past 8.

#tw vomit #tw hunger #Idk if i need more tags pls let me know #And sorry if it takes me time to reply i #For likely obvious reasons #Don't stay logged into this acc #Sure hope this isn't a start of a trend... I do NOT need to develop some fuckin eating problem rn I'm so tired of life

[lettersfrombeyondthegrave]

If I had musician skills I'd start releasing music and putting "remastered" and like an ueara in the 2000's. And everyone will be like oh when where the originals? I never heard of this. Anybody knows? And nobody knows because I made that shit up. And the. They'll look at me and be like "wdym 2008 remastered this mfer was clearly a child in 2008 what the hell" and then in interviews I'd say oh no I did it myself. It's not songs of like a parent or smth. I made this :) and they're gonna ask when it was originally made and I'm gonna start panicking and anxiously look around and make the Convo awkward and say we don't talk about that. Please let's change subject. I prefer not to say that.

And the more it'll go the more the opinions are gonna be divided between "ugh clearly a publicity stunt" and ppl rlly invested in understanding what I'm talking about. And the more they'll push the more I'll say bits. Oh I can't, really, I can't say that. Oh yeah you could say it's... A contract in a way. Really I can't say more. it's a secret haha anyway. No please don't make me say anything. I had an agreement yes with someone. I don't know who. I know who. We know who. You know ewho. Haha idkkk lol. Please I can't say anything else. It involved blood. I can't ,really I can't. And I'll continue to use the remastered format and people will just drop it and become accustomed with it even if it's still eerie as people start talking AB it as a joke and I still am very serious about the whole thing. Deadly serious. And I'll get rich. Buy a manor or make build one. I'm talking gothic, I'm talking 1800, castle, and throw parties in it, disco vampire I'm talking. And this would be in half secret btw, I started ""hiding"" from when I started living in the manor. So from time to time article pops up "new shots from [insert name]'s hiding spot making yet another fabulously dark party, will they ever return to music?

Then I'd return. Hyping the whole thing. Going to talk shows. This time it's not remastered. Hyped a whole album, saying all the experiences at the manor gave me so much inspo, how much it's haunted and old (yes even if I built it). Then I'd make a singular post on all social media platforms saying "It's out now." And then a link to a website. Start your experience. And another link for the physical preorder. And it has a whole aesthetic. The "main track" starts after few clicks in this gothic inspired vintage adventuresque website yk. And it's hyping up the actual start of the song. Then black screen.music fades into radio noises bullshit then silence. Website automatically redirects to YouTube. It's the rickroll. The second link gives you just the image of a lemonade. A random lemonade. I never mentioned lemonade ever in my entire career. Ever. I change identity and disappear again. Buy my own manor. "Look at this young entrepreneur with a love for the internet buy the manor of [insert name], quote, "for the memes", how funny!" I adopt cats. Still have enough to live comfortably. Give the rest to charities and my numerous lovers.

When I die, a letter is sent to the medias. Omg before passing away the left this. For those of you who don't know who this insternet sensation is, it all started-. And it's a long letter. Passionate. I hired people to make it, afterall. Amazing letter. It builds up my reasons. At the end I finally explain. "Idk I thought it was funny lol". Point blank end of the letter. Nothing else. Videos of the biggest fans go around, saying cheers and drinking lemonade "this one for you."

People will speculate in the years the strangest things. In reality I just felt like it. I'm dead. I don't care. I live gay and vampiringly and that's what matters.

#i dont know if it's important to not that its 4 am rn.