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#after effects is kicking my ass
stitchwraith-stingers · 9 months
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pain and suffering and pain and suffering
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twistedappletree · 2 months
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wtf is even the point of western medicine fr
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Month 2, day 22! No idea what I did tonight. Things? Stuff? Tried to fix things? Wound up needing to fix other stuff? Idk, but I did them! I'm tired :D
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bmblboop · 2 years
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You have no idea how happy I am that Ren getting absolutely wrecked by the  Deathstalker’s tail flick made it into Ice Queendom
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thebakery · 2 years
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alcohol should be illegal /srs cause its sick how good it can make a person feel like if I was working and living on my own I'd probably be an alcoholic
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detectivekonan · 2 months
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im soo nauseous still. i am no longer on haldol and ive been starting dosage etc earlier this week. i start 3mg in like two days. AGHHHHHHH
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rubys-domain · 10 months
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i really hope xingqiu appears on the 4.0 banners so i can stop trying to get kokomi
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astonmartinii · 4 months
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passion for fashion | max verstappen social media au
pairing: max verstappen x fem it girl!reader
she's everything and he's just ken (in a red bull shirt)
MASTERLIST | TIPS | MY SMALL BUSINESS
vogue
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liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1 and 490,233 others
tagged: yourusername
vogue: it's the start of the f1 season, you know what that means... y/n y/ln fashion season is in session
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user1: @yourusername make sure you're windows are bolted shut tongiht... you're on my rob list
user2: and mine PLEASE SPARE ME SOME OF YOUR CLOTHES
user3: her and lewis hamilton are the only real ones in that paddock
user4: the way they're still besties despite what went down in 2021 >>>
lewishamilton: me and y/n 🤝 making the paddock our runway
yourusername: someone has to make it interesting around here
lewishamilton: see @maxverstappen1 even y/n is bored of you winning everything...
maxverstappen1: womp womp
lewishamilton: womp womp ???? have some decorum
maxverstappen1: jokes on you i don't know what that means
user5: i wish i looked that good candidly
user6: at what point do we stage an intervention for max's wardrobe
user7: babe if the girlfriend effect still hasn't hit then it's terminal
user8: especially when your girlfriend is Y/N Y/LN
maxverstappen1: i'd do anything for her <3
yourusername: even wear something other than red bull merch?
maxverstappen1: let's not get too far ahead of ourselves
user9: i love them your honour
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yourusername
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liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 1,209,445 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: max verstappen wins, water is wet
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user11: water is wet and i will be drowning myself in it tonight
user12: me after hearing the dutch national anthem one too many times
landonorris: tell him he has too many already and he should let his best friend have a go
yourusername: he said that's not possible because i don't know how to drive an f1 car
landonorris: nuh uh you can't be his best friend and his girlfriend that's not fair
maxverstappen1: welp, idk what to tell you buddy
landonorris: i feel BETRAYED
yourusername: i'm sorry i'm just that loveable lando... i see how it is
landonorris: HOW HAVE I BECOME THE VILLAIN?
user13: max terrorises them on the grid and in the paddock they maximise their joint slay to terrorise everyone in a two mile radius
user14: they slay so much i can't even be angry at it
danielricciardo: so that's why i was kicked out of the elevator
yourusername: you weren't kicked out it was your floor?
danielricciardo: why did i not make the post? I THOUGHT I MEANT MORE TO YOU
maxverstappen1: just because we both had teenage crushes on you doesn't make you special. you'd have to fight seb and jenson for real special treatment
yourusername: throw fernando and kimi in there as well.
danielricciardo: i was confident in my fighting chances, but i'll leave nando and kimi to it
maxverstappen1: pussy
danielricciardo: EXCUSE ME
yourusername: idk how we got here but don't talk to my boyf that way daniel 😔
danielricciardo: i'm blocking both of you
user15: i am so baffled
user16: IT couple for real
maxverstappen1
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liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 1,034,448 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: clocked in for my shift as the trophy husband to the prettiest girl in the world
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user17: max verstappen why is there a whisper meme in your photo dump
user18: his ass acting like he wasn't at one of the most prestigious galas in the world
charles_leclerc: YOU got an invite and that's the best you could do
maxverstappen1: you better take that back right now y/n dressed me tonight and i look SEXY and COOL
yourusername: charles :( he looks very handsome
charles_leclerc: my bad y/n i wasn't aware that was your pick
yourusername: SAY HE'S HANDSOME CHARLES
charles_leclerc: ??? no
yourusername: wow. you really aren't a girls girl charles. i am disappointed
maxverstappen1: does our history mean nothing charles? i have no issue recreating the inchident at the next race
charles_leclerc: FINE. you look very handsome max
yourusername: more passion please
charles_leclerc: you look very handsome max!
yourusername: more! give the lestappen girlies some crumbs to feed on
charles_leclerc: YOU LOOK VERY HANDSOME
maxverstappen1: thank you 😊
user19: ignoring what ever the fuck that was ... MAX IN A SUIT WHAT THE FUCK MAX IN A SUIT
user20: y/n y/ln the woman you are
user21: so how can we implement this willingness to wear a suit into his paddock fashion
lewishamilton: you might have to waterboard him
charles_leclerc: i volunteer as tribute !
yourusername: 🤨
maxverstappen1: 🤨
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f1paddockfashion
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liked by user24, user25 and 11,029 others
tagged: maxverstappen1 & yourusername
f1paddockfashion: max verstappen in non-red bull attire? MAX VERSTAPPEN IN NON-RED BULL ATTIRE? also y/n slaying as per.
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user24: this is - i don't know how to feel
user25: maybe the real max verstappen in non red-bull attire was the friends we made along the way
user26: i am CELEBRATING but ladies do remember it's still alpha tauri 😭😭😭
user27: please let us have this while we can
user28: it's not plastered with sponsors so we'll take it
user29: idk about you guys but i think this means y/n should be knighted for her services
user30: i actually think prying the red bull merch out of max's hands might be the hardest thing in the world
user31: call me crazy but those jeans look kinda baggy 😳
user32: omg they definitely are
user33: death to the skinny jeans? fuck it first child named after y/n
user34: can we maybe get y/n in charge of max's merch cause the shit he sells should be considered criminal
user35: for real we need babe in the board room asap
user36: fuck it get her in the red bull board room as well
user37: go all the way and get her with the f1 execs
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yourusername
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liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 1,506,339 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: i love him even if all he wears is red bull
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user39: so ... who made the inchident shirt?
charles_leclerc: and how do i get one?
maxverstappen1: i got it made and considering you DON'T think i'm handsome you can go fuck yourself :)
charles_leclerc: GASP. that is my face you have to make me one
maxverstappen1: boooooo no i don't
charles_leclerc: can i copyright my face? i'm sending you a cease and desist
maxverstappen1: fine. but you will never look as hot as y/n in it
charles_leclerc: so you can call me ugly? @yourusername ???
yourusername: it was a compliment to me so soz
user40: the way she's fashion's IT girl and she still loves him even though his whole wardrobe should be burned
user41: real love
maxverstappen1: i love you. i wear my red bull merch to give you the runway
yourusername: sureeeee ... i love you too xx
maxverstappen1: let me live 😭😭😭
yourusername: the girls are dragging your name babe i need them to know HOW SEXY YOU ARE
maxverstappen1: i don't care how sexy they find me, as long as you love me that's all i need
yourusername: you're SO FUCKING CUTE I LOVE YOU
maxverstappen1: I LOVE YOU TOO
user42: can they chill? some people on here are lonely
maxverstappen1
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liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 1,033,461 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: my closet looks like this, so her's can look like this :)
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user43: max verstappen i misunderstood you. i was unfamiliar with your game.
user44: he's the standard now i fear
user45: a man who wears the same three outfits so you can have the whole walk-in for your collection >>
yourusername: thank you babe. you are god's strongest soldier
maxverstappen1: i AM. that room is scary. there's too much that i don't understand. so many shoes, so many straps i can't navigate it
yourusername: that's okay baby. there's your red bull draw and that's all you need
maxverstappen1: no the people don't understand. i went in there once and i swear i ended up in narnia
yourusername: you passed out with the AC on the highest level and jimmy and sassy sat on you. you were not in narnia
maxverstappen1: oh. well...
user46: this is the closet y/n deserves the rest of that house is defo a mojo dojo casa house
user47: fighting all the trophies, helmets and framed race suits with her narnia closet
lilymunhe: may i request a trip to the narnia closet x
yourusername: omg yes! come over next time you and alex are in monaco - the boys can entertain themselves
alexalbon: what if i want a closet tour as well?
maxverstappen1: don't do it alex you'll never find your way back out
alexalbon: (i was going to strategically leave a pair of albon athletics shoes in there)
yourusername: alex i already own a pair i bought them release day!
alexalbon: OMG ... one instagram pic so my sales can go platinum?
maxverstappen1: don't try and pimp my gf out
alexalbon: ???
yourusername: max 😭 and sure alex!
fin.
note: thank you for reading soz for the long waits between posts a girl has been BUSY but i hope you've all enjoyed! happy galentines day or palentines day to all that celebrate and thanks for 4.7k!! xx
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bulldagger-bait · 1 year
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LONG ramble ahead. Feel free to skip. (Also this stuff is probably a bit too personal but i dont really care tumblr is my diary and i just have to get these thoughts out)
I had my first almost completely pain free day today and... It was fucking magical. Like, I still had pain in all of the niggling areas i always do: muscle tension, joint pain.
But my nerve pain. My nerve pain! For a good while it just wasnt there. And because the pain wasnt there, the FND couldnt kick up a fuss. I felt strong. I could stand. I wasnt hurting.
When i woke up after my surgery nearly a decade ago, i was in the worst pain of my life. I was writhing and screaming and begging to die. 10 out of 10 out of 10. And over the course of my hospital stay it diminished. Went from 10 to 9 to 8. And then 8 is where it stayed. It became my new normal.
I forced my way through the first year of recovery waiting for it to get better... But it never did.
I tried to push through and not let anything hold me back. I dont know how many times i sobbed to myself quietly about how unbearable it was. I tried to take my life twice, and the pain was a significant reason why.
Eventually i got on meds that knocked it down to a 7, and a 7 is where ive been for the last 5 years. Every day.
Eventually i just kinda resigned myself to it. I couldnt think about the future because whenever i did, all i could feel was: "every moment of the rest of my life is going to feel like this". I accepted it, and i tried to move on. I found someone that i loved enough to stick around for. Someone who made living with the pain worth it.
And now, with this new cocktail of drugs... That burning pain is gone. Or at least, its no longer an electric, burning, blistering, grinding pain. Its tempered to what feels like a candle flame. And for a few rare moments here or there it goes away.
I dont know what to do with that. All of my other pain pales in comparison. They're their own little burning pains, but it doesn't feel like it matters. i can live with them.
And im finally hopeful about my future. Because for a few minutes last week i felt nothing. Blissful nothing. I was so shocked i couldnt even believe it.
When the pain came back i didnt even care or feel cheated, because all ive wanted for so long was just a few seconds pain free, and i got it. I didnt have to be drugged out of my mind (well ... Excluding the cocktail of drugs i was on). I just was. And when it was gone i wasnt upset because i knew if it could happen once, it could happen again. and i had a reason to be excited for my future; my long term future.
Im not just sticking around for other people anymore. Im sticking around for myself too. Because i deserve another five minutes without pain.
(sidenote: do i feel insanely guilty about having a break from my pain; and that its not fair; and that other people deserve it more than me; and that i shouldnt talk about it because its just rubbing it in everyones faces; and that i must have just been exaggerating the pain; and i dont deserve to even call myself disabled anymore; and that im scum; and that i should instead continue to suffer in pain because its all i know, and i dont know how to be myself without pain because its become such an integral part of who i am; and because its who ive been for near as makes no difference a decade; and that im just waiting for the other shoe to drop and somehow prove that im a fraud; and that the pain i had was never real, nor is the pain i have that the meds havent affected; and that im lying about everything; and that I dont deserve help; and that everyone in my life who has pain and hears me talk about this hates me, resents me; and that im terrified of losing the pain because it knows me intimately, and i know it, and that this severing is making me question who i am; and that the answer im getting in my head is: no one; you are no one without this.... Yeah, maybe. Maybe i am thinking that)
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bonchobrick · 1 year
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So I’ve seen some posts going around about a ‘Bruce adopts Danny and everyone thinks they’ll finally have a normal family member—Danny is very not normal’ and here’s my late night take on it.
Or
Danny batfam au where they batfam tries really hard to keep their vigilante ass-kicking nightlife a secret from danny because he is ‘the only normal one in the family’ this becomes a problem however when danny gets kidnapped.
——-
The batfam all work together in a deeply serious family meeting to save their boy. After hours of combining their brains together they come up with a plan that will effectively save danny from joker, kick joker’s ass, and also make them look really cool while doing it.
So they bust in that warehouse, guns blazing, explosions fading in the background, a gust of dramatic dust covers the air
Batman steps infront of the rest of the team and demands to the blurry figure somewhere in the distance, “Where is Danny!”
The dust clears–they expect bad guys pointing weapons meancingly at them, they expect a cackle of a wicked clown amused at whatever plot he had planned coming to life, they expected a terrified boy perhaps tied somewhere likely siting in a chair that joker could present to the bats as a way of taunting them.
The dust settles–they observed their surroundings looking around and realize that, there are few new facts to be added into this ‘defeat the villain, get the bro, happy ending equation’
There is decidedly no weapons being pointed at them: In fact, all of the henchmen are already knocked out and tied up.
There is decidedly no evil laughs being echoed their way: In fact, the only noise that isnt coming from them is a light scritch scratch of a pencil
And there is decidedly no terrified little boy, there is a Danny however and he seems to be doing alright–actually scratch that.
Danny is doing wonders for the situation he’s in right now: In fact–
–Danny is sitting criss cross applesauce on-top a knocked out tied up Joker doing his algebra homework
The small blue eyed boy looks up at Batman's voice and visibly brightens, “Oh hey guys, I was wondering when you’d show up.”
Jason says with the utmost of comprehension, “...what.”
“So hi, I’m kinda new to gotham so sorry about beating these guys up, I think they’re villains? I dunno, anyways if you could take care of these guys while I call an uber home that’d be great.”
Danny sends them a blinding smile which would've been adorable if there weren’t a massive pile of bodies he were casually walking away from.
As Danny nears the exit he looks over his shoulder to the baffled group of vigilantes and blinks
“Oh yeah one last thing,” Danny rubs the back of his neck nervously, “Could you guys not tell the Waynes about this.”
Damian speaks up for the rest of his frozen family, albeit hesitantly, “I do think they have already been alerted of your kidnapping.”
“Oh no that's fine.” Danny starts nervously, “It's more about me being the… fighter… in this situation. I was just adopted by them and they seem really nice, I don’t want to scare them away being all grrrr im a scary monster boy and i love to hurt people argh.”
“I don’t think they’d think you're a monster.” Tim adds quietly
“Eh, tell that to my birth parents–they went psycho on me. Like evil scientist psycho, it was not as awesome as the movies make it sound, having scientists for parents.” Danny says bittersweet as he admits with a shrug
There is a moment of silence as the batfamily reevaluate the adoption file that states Danny’s family before they passed were very good people–albeit a bit excentric.
Dick blurts out, “Where did you learn to fight?”
Danny sends him an anxious chuckle, “I actually started when I was fourteen–my town always ran into some trouble so I had to step up. It’s part of the reason I moved here actually. I really don’t want anything to do with that hero vigilante life anymore…” The boy puts his hands together in a pleading motion, “So please don’t tell The Waynes!”
Bewildered at the situation as a whole they nod in a daze
The boys eyes widen at their easy agreement and he grins, “Thank you so so much! I’ve got to go now, it’s way past my curfew. but you’ll probably see me again next time I get kidnapped–I’ll make sure to put in a good word for you guys with my family bye!”
And just like that Danny slips off into the night leaving behind a family who were so sure they finally found a normal addition to their pack.
Jason sighs looking forlornly at the spot Danny had previously been standing, “You could just never pick the just semi-mentally healthy normal kids could you?”
Bruce groans pinching his the bridge of his nose
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cutielando · 2 months
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celebrations are in order ~ max verstappen
instagram au
synopsis: You and Max celebrate his third World Championship in style.
my masterlist
♡♡♡♡♡
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liked by maxverstappen1, francisca.cgomes and 3,291,483 others
yourusername feels so good being back at the paddock tagged: maxverstappen1
view all 857,313 comments
maxverstappen1 out of all the pictures you took of me...
yourusername i love these
maxverstappen1 of course you do
redbullracing Glad to have you back, Y/N!
francisca.cgomes MY WIFE BACK IN THE PADDOCK ❤️❤️
yourusername i missed you sooooooo much !!! ❤️❤️
lilymhe GIRL LUNCH !!!!!!
user1 THE PEOPLE'S WAG IS BACK IN THE PADDOCK
user2 all is well when Y/N is in the garage😩😩
alex_albon max will finally be in a good mood
maxverstappen1 i can read these, you know
yourusername that's why i'm here. we're all tired of moody max😔
maxverstappen1 I CAN READ THESE
user3 our good luck charm has arrived ❤️❤️
user4 like he needs a good luck charm to dominate the entire grid🥲
landonorris what took you so long?
yourusername some people have a life, you know?
landonorris not when you're involved in f1 they don't
yourusername you're lucky i like you, otherwise you would have received a rant 😠
maxverstappen1 i've received one. trust me mate, you don't want to be on the receiving end
yourbff still sad you didn't take me with you 😔
yourusername you are literally on the other side of the globe⁉️
yourbff i don't see your point
yourusername maxverstappen1 help me out here
maxverstappen1 i'm not getting between you two again
user5 Y/N, do you think Max will win the championship after this race?
yourusername i am keeping my fingers crossed, he has had an incredible season and i think he's going to do everything in his power to end it on a high🫶🏻
user4 so well said
user6 Y/N being there for his Championship title win >>>>
user7 i want a relationship like theirs:(((((
user8 if they ever break up, i'm going to stop believing in love😭
charles_leclerc it's nice to have you back, y/n. haven't seen you in a while
yourusername it feels so good to be back. life has been kicking my ass but I'M BACK BITCHES
carlossainz55 FORZA FERRARI
yourusername wow, too much dude...
charles_leclerc ...
maxverstappen1 ...
carlossainz55 ...sorry...
victoriaverstappen i've missed you so much!!!! so glad to have you back, the boys are excited to see auntie Y/N!!❤️❤️❤️
yourusername i can't wait to see my favorite little munchkins ❤️❤️❤️
maxverstappen1 what about me?
yourusername i’m sorry, babe. you can’t compete with lio and luka for this one
victoriaverstappen you could never compete with them
maxverstappen1 wow, betrayed by my own blood..
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liked by yourusername, victoriaverstappen and 5,391,584 others
maxverstappen1 I cannot thank everyone enough. Being on this journey, achieving what we have achieved together this season has been incredible. A massive thank you to the team and for everything they do for us, a shoutout to my family for always supporting me and a special thanks to my Y/N. I couldn't have done any of this without you, I love you.❤️ tagged: redbullracing and yourusername
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yourusername watching you race and do what you love is my favorite thing. i'm proud of you beyond words and i can't wait to see what you do in the future. i love you so much❤️🫶🏻
maxverstappen1 thank you for being you🩵
redbullracing You are one of a kind, Max. Seeing you go down in history books right before our eyes is the biggest privilege. Let's finish the season on a high together and look forward to next year!💙 liked by maxverstappen1 and yourusername
landonorris well done, mate. the y/n effect was obvious
maxverstappen1 thanks mate
yourusername you're just jealous i didn't cheer you on as loudly
landonorris i'm deeply hurt, actually
maxverstappen1 dude, get your own cheerleader and stop trying to steal mine
yourusername boys, don’t worry, you know i support everyone almost equally
landonorris almost?
yourusername i’ll always be a redbull girlie at heart
schecoperez let's go!!! liked by maxverstappen1
user1 he did it for Y/N i'm sobbing😭😭😭
user2 UNSTOPPABLE MAX STRIKES ONCE AGAIN🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻👏👏👏👏🩵
user3 the tribute to Y/N had me in tears >>>>>>>>>>>
user4 they are such a power couple😩😩😩💙
user5 the season was boring, max is taking all the fun out of the sport by winning all the damn time💀
yourusername he deserves every single win that he gets, he's good. if you believe the sport is boring, don't watch it. stop hating on drivers just because they are successful, you have no idea what it's like to be in their shoes
user2 PERIOD👏👏👏
user1 QUEEN ATE AND LEFT NO CRUMBS👸🫶🏻
user3 YOU TELL THEM Y/N
victoriaverstappen we're so proud of you, Max. you're truly one of a kind🩵
maxverstappen1 i love you guys❤️
yourusername you guys are making me cry😭😭
maxverstappen1 baby, you literally just stopped crying a minute ago
yourusername I CAN’T HELP IT OKAY⁉️⁉️
alex_albon max once again making all of us look bad
maxverstappen1 i’m sorry man
yourusername you don’t need his help for that
alex_albon ouch
user9 BABABAHAHQHQHQHQ Y/N WAS SUCH A SAVAGE FOR THIS HAHAHAHA
georgerussell63 party tonight?
maxverstappen1 you know it
yourusername brave yourselves
christianhorner always a pleasure watching you work your magic, Max 👏
maxverstappen1 thank you, christian. your support means very much to me
yourusername awww, you’re like father and son🥹🥹
christianhorner we might as well just adopt him
gerihalliwellhorner 2 kids isn’t enough for you?
christianhorner no
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liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 3,194,853 others
yourusername words cannot begin to describe the pride i feel when i look at this man. Max, the things you have achieved have completely made me fall in love with you all over again. your dedication, your talent and your craft are a delight to experience and i can't be more grateful to be the one you share life with. i'm looking forward to seeing what the future has in store for you, and know that i'll be with you every single step of the way. i love you, my world champion❤️ tagged: maxverstappen1
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maxverstappen1 forever grateful that you exist in my life❤️i don’t know what i did to deserve you
yourusername you’re gonna make me cry again😭❤️
maxverstappen1 please don’t
yourusername too late
francisca.cgomes i have never seen you cry so much, it made me cry with you 😭😭😭❤️
yourusername i love you ❤️❤️😭😭
pierregasly what..?
maxverstappen1 don’t even ask
yourusername YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND 😭
francisca.cgomes DON’T JUDGE US 😭😭😭😭
yoursister the entire family is sending Max the biggest congratulations !!! we can’t wait to see both of you to celebrate properly ❤️❤️
yourusername ❤️❤️❤️we miss you guys
maxverstappen1 thank you very much !!! looking forward to celebrating with the in-laws ❤️
landonorris when did you become the simp in the relationship?
yourusername don’t you have better things to do?
landonorris not really
maxverstappen1 you should get a hobby
landonorris annoying your girlfriend is my favorite hobby🤭🤭
oscarpiastri do i have to come to the party? 🫣
yourusername yes
maxverstappen1 only if you want to, we’re getting shitfaced either way
oscarpiastri so i can not come? 🥹
yourusername you’re coming, end of story.
user1 Y/N dragging Oscar to Max’s party is the most Y/N thing ever 😂😂
user2 poor Oscar must be regretting his life choices right about now 💀
oscarpiastri i am (please send help)
user1 BABAHQHQH OSCAH😭😭
user3 you can tell how much she loves him 😭❤️❤️
user4 i’m 100% positive Max couldn’t have achieved all of this without Y/N
user5 why? she didn’t do anything to help him at all
user4 it’s not all about performance on the track, a lot of factors go into it. she’s been supporting him for a very long time and that means a lot for someone with a lifestyle like his
user3 exactly, every driver needs someone to help them disconnect from the chaos that follows them all year round during the season
alex_albon you’re such a simp
georgerussell63 simp
charles_leclerc simp
landonorris simp
oacarpiastri simp
maxfewtrell simp
yourusername MAX????
maxverstappen1 …
yourbff your boyfriend is a beast
yourusername i know 🤭 that he is, in more ways than one
maxverstappen1 you know it 😏😋
yourbff HORNY ASSES
lilymhe can’t wait to get drunk and celebrate tonight!!
yourusername you and me both girl 😅
maxverstappen1 me three
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liked by yourusername, victoriaverstappen and 3,201,835 others
maxverstappen1 safe to say i remember nothing from last night tagged: yourusername and 9 others
view all 854,281 comments
yourusername it might be for the best
maxverstappen1 was i that bad?
yourusername no... 🤐
landonorris damn right you don't
maxverstappen1 what is that supposed to mean?
landonorris you downed a whole bottle of tequila in less than half an hour. by yourself.
yourusername while taking sips from my drink as well
maxverstappen1 i was thirsty, ok?
oscarpiastri i am never drinking with you again😩
maxverstappen1 what did i do?
yourusername you wanted to undress him in front of the whole club and have him play limbo with you naked
oscarpiastri you didn't have to give the details...
maxverstappen1 i would've loved to see it either way
yourusername MAX!! LEAVE OSCAR ALONE
maxverstappen1 fine...😔
oscarpiastri thank you Y/N😅
georgerussell63 my liver hates you right now
maxverstappen1 don't blame me, it's not like i poured alcohol down your throat
yourusername you did
maxverstappen1 oh..
user1 these comments are just confirming what a party animal Max is and i'm here for it 🤣🤣
user2 y/n sounds so done hahahah😭😭
alex_albon i have no words left
maxverstappen1 i'm sorry for whatever i have done to you
alex_albon we vowed never to speak of it
yourusername this discussion is over
redbullracing sigh... giving us a run for our money, aren't you? 😆
maxverstappen1 i like keeping you guys entertained
redbullracing very kind of you. don't do it again 😐
user3 did y/n not drink?
yourusername i did, but i was relatively sober so i could keep an eye on everyone haha
yourusername i love you <3 even when you're drunk and unhinged
maxverstappen1 i love you too, thank you for taking care of me ❤️
user4 y/n taking care of max >>>>>>>>
user5 i love them. 😭😭😭❤️
charles_leclerc great singing on your part
yourusername i thought we agreed we weren't gonna mention the singing...
maxverstappen1 I SANG????????????
charles_leclerc oh yes, very loudly so
maxverstappen1 yourusername never let me drink again
yourusername i couldn't stop you if i wanted to
maxverstappen1 damn.. wild night, hehe
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eternalsdiary · 4 months
Text
#SOMETHING UNEXPECTED
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pairing: Dina x Ellie x Reader
tags: smut, fingering, MY LOVES
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Life seemed average, a repeated cycle you could never seem to get out of. Bland, overused and average.
“YN, you need to get out more! All you do is work and sleep!” Jesse complains. But how could you “get out more” if the whole world was under attack by human beings infected by fungus?
“Jesse, m’not going out tonight. I gotta patrol early tomorrow, I don’t have time f’drinking.” You scoff, closing the book you were reading and placing it in the nearby nightstand. “You’re so boring, you never do anything fun.” He rolls his eyes and exits the room.
You never enjoyed parties anyways. You always felt like an outcast to this whole group of people, you were surprised they even let you stay this damn long. You had showed up out of no where and yet they let you in after a check for infection.
The day continued like usual. Eat, Work, Sleep, Repeat, and obviously the necessities. You groan as you awake, your hair bed head a lot messier than usual. You rub your temples as you exit the hard bed that was seemingly put together from sheets and scattered pillows found around.
You somehow found yourself assigned to early patrol with Ellie and Dina. It wasn’t that you disliked them, it was that you liked them a little too much. Somehow, they distracted you from your daily routine, always pulling you somewhere you didn’t need to be, forcing you to explore things you’d never explored. But today it seemed there was a lot of tension in the area. The snow not making it any better as the freezing air made the freeze of the silence grow thicker.
Silence engulfed the whole ride, until they approached an abandoned warehouse that had a harsh smell of weed. Inside a whole farm of it, just growing like nothing. “Hey hey, I haven’t seen this shit in forever.” Ellie says picking up a jar. “Does weed expire?” She asks turning to Dina, having finally spoken a word to each other. “I guess we’ll have to find out?”
A loud bang was heard, causing you to flinch as you turned to see that the snow had trapped all three of you inside the weed smelling warehouse. “God, I did not want this.” You roll your eyes, removing the gloves you wore. “Fuck…!” You kick something nearby. “Whoa there, it’s not that big of a deal, we can just stay here until it dies down. Then we can try moving the snow.” Ellie suggests, removing her coat and settling in a nearby couch.
You watch as Dina does the same, grabbing a lighter that seemingly still worked to light the joint they’d found in the jar. “This still hits.” Dina says with a small smile, passing the joint over to Ellie. You sigh, removing your jacket and looking around to search for another exit. “Hey, why are you so quick to leave? Live a little and come smoke this with us.” Ellie says, looking at you with her low eyes as the weed seemed to already be taking effect.
“I’m good, I don’t smoke. I didn’t smoke before either.” You roll your eyes, looking around once more, seeing that there were no other ways out. “Just come and sit down. It’s like you have a stick up your ass or somethin’.” Dina says, tilting her head to look at you. You groan, stomping over to them both and settling on the couch. “Here, I think ya need it.” Ellie giggles, egging Dina to do the same.
“I said I’m good.” Dina takes the joint, “Just one time, it won’t kill ya?” She takes a drag from the joint, blowing it into your face, causing you to retract. “Fine.” You finally give in, inhaling the smoke. You cough quickly, the biting sensation in the back of your throat lingering. “Okay what the hell?” You ask, hunching over to cough. “It’s fine, happens when it’s your first time. Try again.” Ellie helps you sit up, guiding the joint to your lips.
“When you inhale, inhale it slowly. So, it doesn’t hurt as bad.” Dina says softly, placing her hand on your thigh unconsciously. You flinch slightly, inhaling the smoke, letting it drape into your lungs slowly. Blowing the smoke into the air, you feel yourself becoming a lot more relaxed. “That was better yeah?” Ellie asks, watching you as she inhaled the joint and blows the smoke into your face.
“I guess so.” You say quietly, everyone feeling the effects of the weed. It hits you harder, your head spinning softly, your eyes getting heavier, and the stir between your legs becoming a lot more prominent. “Should we have another Dina? I’m not sure she can handle two.” Ellie says, looking at your slouched appearance.
You shake your head. “I’m good, I think.” You chuckle. Ellie nods lighting another, placing it between her thin yet plump lips. You watch her, your eyes entranced by the way her lips wrap around the joint. Dina slides her hand further up your leg, catching your attention. You turn to her, a smirk dawning her lips as she tilts her head to get a better look at you.
Ellie hands the joint over once more, this time leaning over you a bit more than usual. The feeling of her skin warming you up a lot more then you already were, her perky and uncovered breasts swaying in your face. You blush softly, your face tinted slightly. The thoughts that run through your head becoming unholy, but you blame it on the weed. Dina takes a drag, inhaling slowly. Suddenly she leans into you, your lips parting as she connects her lips to yours and exhales the smoke back into your lungs.
It was random, causing you to flinch softly. “Did ya like that? Or should I stop?” She slides her hand up your thigh further, her thumb gliding over your clothed cunt softly. Ellie watches, her eyes lingering over your figure. You look at Dina, the sinful thoughts running through your head starting to take over. “I-I don’t do this. I’ve never-“ Ellie silences you, putting the bud of the joint into the couch to let it burn out.
“We got you.”
Like usual, with Ellie and Dina you were doing something you didn’t usually do. Your legs spread open as Dina licked up the slit of your wet and dripping cunt. Ellie grips her hair, guiding her to eat you out just right. Your hands gripping the side of the couch as you whine and groan Dina’s name out into existence. Her arms wrapped around your thighs to keep your legs open as you shake, throwing your head back as she hits the spot that makes you tingle just right.
“Fuhh-ck!” Your head falls back off the couch, Dina’s fingers mingling with the hardened buds underneath your shirt. “Feel good pretty?” Ellie asks softly, looking down at you. You nod, droll pooling at your lips. Dina slides her finger into your core, your back arching into her as you fuck yourself with her fingers. “Fuc- Dina! Oh good-“ You grip the couch harder, the knot in your stomach growing tighter.
She eats you like it was her last meal, her eyes never leaving yours as she penetrates you with another finger. Ellie continues to guide her, hitting all the spots inside you just right. Her hands come down to your chest, running her thumb over the nipple as if she was admiring the way they bounced as you used Dina. “Yesyes.. right there!”
You grind against her face, feeling yourself become a lot needier. The high you felt earlier could never compare to this one. Her hands spreading you open just right, your eyes shut tightly. “Look at me hun.” She says softly, diving back into you as you open your eyes to look down at her. Ellie watches in awe at the way you open up to Dina’s fingers. “Oh shi- I’m gonna cum Din-“ Ellie suddenly moves Dina’s hand away.
You catch your breath, confused as to why she was depriving you. “I wanna turn too.” Dina rolls her eyes. “You could’ve at least let her cum first. I’m sure she can handle two orgasms.” You watch as they talk about you like you're not even there. “Okay then, think you can handle two pretty?” Your eyes pan to Ellie, nodding slowly as you lean back once more. “Good girl, see I told ya.” Dina says, sliding her digits back inside of you.
She decides not to start slow this time, her fingers using you quickly. “I wanna taste you c’mon.” You feel the high you were on coming back, your hands gripping her hair softly. Your eyes don’t leave her as Ellie leans back, watching the both of you as she waits patiently for her turn with you.
“C’mon hun, wanna taste your cum.” Dina speaks sinfully, causing you to fall over the edge. “Oh- cumming! Please!” You release on her fingers, back arching over the edge of the couch. Your legs shake as you orgasm like you never have before. She sucks softly on your sensitive bud, you whine softly. “Gotta take one more for Ellie, she wants a taste too hun.” Dina slaps your cunt softly.
You nod, spreading your legs once more. The adrenaline running through your body causing you to work against how sensitive you were. “Go in then you needy fuck, go get your fill of her before she changes her mind.” Dina slaps Ellie’s arm softly, wiping her face of your essence. Ellie leans in, kissing your stomach, kissing the inside of your thigh, then kissing your fold softly. “I can’t wait anymore.”
She suddenly licks, causing you to close your legs. “Ah Ah C’mon now. You keep ‘em open f’me do the same for El.” Dina spread your legs back open, leaning against Ellie. You whine, feeling sensitive as Ellie continues with her endeavor. She spreads your folds, sliding her finger inside to replace Dina’s. The length of her finger hitting a spot inside you that Dina didn’t hit before.
“Ah, wait! You- god!” You try to close your legs once more, but Dina slaps your inner thigh, holding them open. “Hey, stop it. You said you could take it so take it like a big girl.” Dina giggles, rubbing your inner thigh softly. You chant Ellie’s name, her fingers curling slighting inside you. You grip her hair, riding her face as if she were a dildo and you were a pornstar.
Dina feels her arousal pooling in her pants, sliding her hand down into her jeans as she touches herself at the sight of you. Your bottom lip I’m between your teeth as you groan, Ellie’s hair gripped in between your fingers. She enjoys the sight of it all. Ellie kissing your stomach again as she adds another finger, speeding up just enough to make you scream. “I’m- oh shit! Ellie please…!” You hold onto her wrist to keep her from moving away, riding her fingers and clenching around them.
“Gonna cum pretty, I wanna taste you as bad. S’not fair Dina got to try it first.” You whine, unable to speak. Dina throws her head back as she feels herself about to release around her own fingers. “Gonna cum together yeah? Cum with me YN.” She says breathlessly as she rides her own fingers. Ellie snickers, “ya just couldn’t wait could ya?” Diving back down to devour the essence about to release from you.
Your head spinning softly, your back arching, you ride her fingers until suddenly. You burst, cumming and squeezing around her fingers, your head falling back and your legs shaking like never before. “E-El oh Fuck! Yesyesyes!” You spread your legs more as she licks it all up, not leaving one drop of you behind. “Taste so good pretty.” She says quietly into your cunt.
Dina cums as well, her legs shaking as she slows down, circling her bud slowly. “Oh yes..” she leans back, pulling her hand out of her jeans. “Wanna taste?” She asks, leaning forward and placing her fingers into your mouth, allowing you to suck them clean. Your eyes low, the high still rippling through you.
“Let’s do this again sometime.”
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I want them both so bad...
747 notes · View notes
irisintheafterglow · 8 months
Text
it's fall so it's basically winter so you know what that means: hockey player!satoru !!!!
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it should be a crime to look that stunning after running around with a stick for an hour.
"hey, gorgeous. you come here often?"
"a decade later and you still don't have any game. i can't say i'm surprised," you reply, only to find his grin growing wider. you hope he can't tell how your face feels like it's set on fire or that your brain short-circuited when he looked for you after his game. he's still slightly sweaty coming out of the locker room and it makes your pulse skip. distressingly, he's the only guy you can think of who can undo you with just a hoodie and sweatpants; even your legs were starting to give out a little bit when he got closer. "great game, by the way. do you always strive to piss off the opposing team that much?"
"only when i want to impress someone in the stands," he says in a low tone that sends goosebumps over your arms, even under your sweater. though unexpected, you weren't shocked when he mimed yawning or sleeping after scoring a goal that looked like he was playing against toddlers. when you see him, his eyes are the brightest you've ever seen, shining with pride and something like mischief like he was planning something you had no idea about. "you see how many goals i made?"
"how could i not, with the way you were pointing at me after every one?" his tongue absentmindedly runs over his top lip and it takes all of your will not to stare, not with him this close. on the bleachers, it was deceptively easy to watch the muscles in his legs propel him across the ice. you also got away with staring at his self-assured smirk when suguru gave him a pass that the other team couldn't see coming. most of the time, they never saw him coming. his speed across the ice was nothing like the unsteady marches you saw growing up with him. it gave you a small sense of pride, watching him kick ass and knowing that the winks he sent to your section of seats were reserved only for you.
"just making sure you got the message." he's silent for a moment, his eyes flicking down to your mouth and you swear you see his pupils dilate. you can't tell if your breath picked up first or if he did. at some point, the door to the rink creaks open, and suguru raises his hand in farewell, effectively snapping satoru out of his trance. he regains his composure in a blink, though, and shakes his hair around like a dog after a bath. "you doing anything right now?" you scoff at his bluntness and ignore your brain screaming at you to kiss him and get it over with.
"why, you gonna take me somewhere?"
"i believe my victory calls for a celebratory dinner," he drawls nonchalantly, shrugging his muscular shoulders. "plus, you need to catch me up on what's been happening in figure skating land all these years." every nerve in your body was straining to follow wherever he went, but your ego said otherwise. it can't hurt to play a little bit.
"i don't know; i have an essay due in a few days that i need to grind out." you inhale through your teeth, looking to the side undecidedly.
"essay, shmessay. with your gpa, you can have that done in half an hour." you make a big show out of pretending to think about it and he scoffs in defeat. "c'mon, i was planning on paying for you anyways."
"with what money?"
"a very hefty card that does not have my name on it." figures, he'd stolen his dad's wallet again. after a few more seconds of fake thought, you nod and he breathes a visible sigh of relief.
"satoru?" his shoulder is pressed against yours while you walk through the moonlit parking lot, one hand resting in the crook of his elbow. he was the one who linked your arms together from excitement after you agreed to let him buy you dinner. the dim light reflecting off his jawline in sharp lines and you wanted to run your finger over his skin.
"hmm?"
"is this like, a date-date?" his complexion becomes slightly pinker while he opens the passenger side door for you. the question slips out of your mouth without warning and his head dips down to your eye level when you sit down, his forearm steadying him on the top of the vehicle.
"only if you want it to be." his voice is quiet and careful, very obviously indicating that you were the one deciding how the rest of the night would go. god, he's so good.
"do you want it to be?"
"my jersey number is your birthday. what do you think?" you chuckle softly under your breath, the tiniest okay leaving your lips in understanding. "put on your seatbelt. i'm driving with precious cargo." the door abruptly closes and he makes his way around the car to throw his bag into the trunk. a choked noise of surprise comes from your throat and you flick the side of his head when he slides into the driver's seat. neither of you can stop laughing and you sink into the leather at your back, glancing at satoru only to find him already staring at you.
"that is your worst line, to date," you say lightheartedly, shaking your head in exasperation.
"it's a good thing i'm not using it on anyone else, then."
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onelittlespiral · 2 months
Note
I’ve been looking for a fraternity to join at my new college, but none of them have really been letting me in. The only one left seems to be full of horny jocks that are dumber than a bag of bricks. Think you could help me… fit in?
FML: In
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As you laid it all out in front of your friend, your plans, your goals, your desires, he just kind of shook his head in disbelief:
“I know that I’ve only known you for a few weeks, but damn that’s disappointing.”
“What’s so wrong about wanting to pledge?” you replied, “It would just make getting connected the university so much easier. Plus, the parties are legendary.”
“No I get it,” he scowled, “but really? Pi Kappa Epsilon?”
“Listen, they weren’t my first choice either. I would have preferred a group a little less… dim.” I knew he wouldn’t leave it there.
“Dim? Dim still implies some light on upstairs. You can just call them what they are: brainless frat bros. They think with their dicks and muscle their way through academics. I can’t believe you’re asking me to use my power for this.” He began walking towards the door.
I called after, “Look, I’ve seen you do crazier shit than this. You turned the guy upstairs into a dog for a week.”
He stopped in the door frame for a minute to chuckle, “If he was going to call the RA a bitch he may as well get first hand experience.”
“Please dude.” I stared at him.
After a moment he relented, “Fine. But are you sure you want this? You want to change for this? A frat?”
“Yes. And I promise I’ll get you into any party you want!”
“Fine. Give me a bit. But remember, you asked for it.”
He returned in a bit and tossed me a necklace from across the room, “Here’s your frat solution. Wear this to your next thing with them at their house.”
You inspected it. It looked like a basic chain necklace like you had seen other guys wear around “And do what? What does it do?”
He rolled his eyes, “And do nothing. It will help you fit into the frat, I promise.”
“No magic words or anything?” I asked.
He grinned, “Oh come on, think of me as better than needing all that crap. Now put it on so you don’t lose it.”
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It fits well around your neck, “I’m headed over there tonight, I think it is the last event before they drop everyone. You sure this will work?”
“Trust me,” he says, “You want in the frat? You will be in the frat.”
When you arrive at the frat house, you do feel the necklace almost pulling you inside. It feels warm against your chest as you wander around, talking with some brothers and checking in with your fellow pledges. You get a sense of magnetism from it, like the necklace is pulling the frat house around it towards you. As the party kicks into gear, you focus less on the chain and more on socializing. But whatever it’s effect, it seems to be working. Brothers and other pledges are seeming to stumble over themselves trying to talk with you. Even the pledge master gives a knowing glance and tilts his head in approval. In a little under two hours, you begin to feel more at home in the house, more comfortable in the crowd. Maybe for the first time you feel a sense of brotherhood. So it is a shock when you step into the bathroom to take a piss and take a look in the mirror.
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You don’t recognize the face that stared back. You blinked in confusion, assuming you had too much to drink. But no. The stranger in the mirror stared back into your eyes, copying your every move as you tilted your head and inspected your face in awe. The trance broke as you glanced down and saw the truth. Your polo shirt stretched against your chest as two pectorals firmly pushed out, flexing with each breath. Your pants had grown tight around my quads, now a good few inches short. They hugged your ass so tightly you were surprised they hadn’t ripped. Tattoos flowed down your arms, newly ripped and well toned. You noticed for the first time the power you felt coursing through your veins. You could almost feel your skin taut against your muscles as they slowly swelled. You pulled your top off to get a better look at the action.
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‘Damn I look good’ you think as you admire the new cum gutters and still developing 6-pack. You try out a few poses in the mirror, just to see the muscles move. The necklace is no joke. No way PKE would drop you now, you looked like you fit right in. But, at the same time, you figured it may be time to get the necklace off. You didn’t want to change too much, and no telling how far it would go. You go for the back of your neck and and start to fiddle with the clasp when the necklace suddenly starts to warm up.
You feel the odd magnetism is no longer subtle. It feels as though the necklace is pulling against the frat house you, drawing it’s very essence towards you. At the same time, the growth within your body stops as the necklace channels all its energy towards your head. The sudden spike hits like a migraine, as you let go of the necklace and go to hold your temples. The necklace wants to finish its work. Your senses are sharpened to a point, as you feel the heat of the bros downstairs, taste cheap beer and seltzers, hear every footstep, see every muscle and bulge, and smell 100 horny men all at once. You feel the pure energy of the fraternity pull through your body as it shapes you. Beneath the pressure, your mind buckles as false memories push their way in. Memories of watching college football on TV. Working out during the summer to become a fucking stud. Playing the field as soon as you got to college. Meeting up with some brothers to get a foot in the door. Getting called a fuckboi for the first time on Tinder. Wearing it like a badge of pride.
Your brain throbbed as the energy reshaped your memories and personality, but your balls churned as it began to adjust your libido. They ached as they swelled to the size of golf balls. Your cock was rigid at attention as you grabbed it with both meaty hands and started to pump. Your body writhed as every stroke only makes the pleasure more intense. You are soon hot with the effort. An aura of testosterone and sweat formed around you as a frat funk sets in deep: a mixture of booze, yesterday’s workout, and cheap cologne. The smell only drives you more wild, and you start to feel your brain short circuit. Your mind, consumed by pleasure, gave into the pressure and lost any remaining will to resist. The necklace pulsed in time with your throbbing cock as it buried the old you. As you reached climax, you knew there was no going back. As you shot your load across the room, a new you was released. A dumb, horny frat bro ready to pledge PKE.
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And then the door behind you opened.
The pledge master, apparently worried by how long you had been in here, walked in on your afterglow as you tucked your cock back into your pants.
“Hey man, you okay?” he asked before recoiling a step. You watched as he smelled your rank funk and nearly gagged. You took a step closer.
“Yeah bro, better than ever. What about you? You look like you’re about to vomit.” you said, leaning in a bit closer. You flex your muscles and let your pit stench join the lingering cloud. You feel yourself start to harden again as he tried not to react.
“Bro, you are fucking rank. You smell like a… like a-”
“Like a frat house should?” you taunted. He had stopped recoiling and seemed now to be fighting a different urge.
“I don’t know bro, you should get- get that looked at.”
His eyes were focused on your muscles as you slowly flexed them rhythmically to the music downstairs. I felt the necklace pulling him closer as he fought the urges he is having. Fuck, you remembered that feeling, that pull towards desire. You knew how to help him out though. You grabbed the back of his head and pulled his lips to your pecs. As his lips connected with your flesh and tasted the beads of sweat that rolled down your chest, he wrapped his arms around you and began worshiping your muscles. As he kissed and licked every inch of your chest and washboard abs, he gently rubbed against your rigid cock. It wasn’t long before he was licking at the fabric separating his mouth from his prize. But as he reached for the elastic band around your waist, you grabbed his hair and pulled him up.
Your mind reveled in in the power you held in your hands and the pleasure your new frat bro could cause with his mouth. But you only had one thing left on you mind:
“I wanna be in the frat bro.” You said.
He mumbled as his mouth still searched for your flesh, “Yeah man, sure thing. I’ll make it happen. You can be a frat bro. Just please let me suck on your-“
“No,” you boomed. You pulled him out of the bathroom and into the nearest bedroom, locking the door behind you. You grabbed his ass as he grew limp in your hands, “I want to be in the frat bro.” You slip your hand beneath his gym shorts and begin slowly finger fucking his tight, straight hole.
He understood his place as he slipped off his shorts and underwear, leaving his cheeks on full display.
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He moaned like he was in heat, “Yeah bro. Please. I would be so honored.”
You bent him over and spat in his quivering hole before you pressed your cock against him. You didn’t wait for him to relax as you slammed your cock as deep as you could and watched him yelp in surprise. As you slowly sped up and heard him start to moan, you felt the necklace once again start to warm against my chest as its power flowed through your cock and into the bro beneath you. He too began to sweat with the funk of the frat as was remade in its image under your guidance. He was going to become just as unified with PKE as you were.
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americankimchi · 3 months
Note
Do you have any tips for writing Obi Wan or any meta in mind with his characterizarion?
hmmm sure why not! i'll give a few tips on how i'd write obi-wan. mind you this is how i interpret the character, so ymmv.
i truly do not like it when fics have obi-wan voluntarily leaving the order. like it's so out-of-character for me in my head that the premise of the story + the writing would have to work triple-time to get me to stick around. now if he's been removed from it by an EXTERNAL SOURCE (not the order. i cannot stress this enough: the jedi kicking obi-wan out is so jarring to me i'll leave the fic in an instant) or somehow unable to return to the order for whatever reason, all is well.
not a prodigy, but a genius. obi-wan is an incredibly intelligent person with an absolutely staggering knowledge base in a wide variety of topics, but all that knowledge was earned through blood, sweat, tears, and time. he sat down with his game face on and put in the work. that's also why he makes an excellent teacher: he knows what most students will struggle with because he struggled too, and knows through experience how best to overcome them. i headcanon that it contributes to why he's such a good negotiator: he's really good at stripping down information to the essentials and communicating that information effectively and efficiently to others because of his intense study habits.
humble, but not ignorant of his skills. it's pretty impossible to fully divorce yourself from pride in your achievements, and i don't think it's healthy to not feel any pride at all, so i think obi-wan has a very clear understanding of his skillset and how best to use it. i don't think he'd be ignorant of how good he is at something, especially since the direct consequence of his aptitude led him to being a member of the jedi council. pretty hard to be blind to your strengths when you're being asked for your input on topics that directly draw from that knowledge.
averse to healthcare. listen i enjoy obi-wan whump just as much as the next obi-wan stan (the desire to put him in the cosmic salad spinner comes with the territory, i fear) but as a character who grew up in an environment that deeply cares for the well-being of all, and knowing that you cannot help others unless you yourself first have the ability to do so, i can't really see him ignoring injuries outside of combat scenarios. like on the battlefield he's got more pressing concerns than a pesky little shrapnel wound or five, but once the battle's over?? he might not be first in line to the medics but i can't see him avoiding them entirely. an army without a general is working at a sharp disadvantage and i don't think he'd risk his men by neglecting his physical health in that manner. note that i said 'physical'. make of that what you will :)
duty. obi-wan is the definition of a paladin. he takes an oath and by the force he's going to keep it. train the boy? absolutely, qui-gon. whether or not anakin chooses to respect that training is another matter, but he did definitively get knighted! refuse to kill anakin? listen he's handed vader his own ass to him twice post order 66 and each time he did it he did it nonlethally. that takes skill. that takes dedication. exile yourself to tatooine for 19 years and then decide fuck it, we ball, and die after Once Again Deciding Not To Kill Anakin Skywalker? step aside casper, there's a new friendly ghost in town. every time obi-wan commits to something the man COMMITS. you GOTTA respect that grind.
flirty but in the sense that he's going to match the energy someone brings to the table. like he's a negotiator. he knows how to read people and figure out the Vibes. if he thinks the other person will be 1) 100% receptive and 2) will respond with a delightful wit, why the hell not? obi-wan's highest stat is charisma and he's got expertise in persuasion. whether they're allies or not does not factor into this equation. he can have a little flirtation with morally dubious and potentially hostile characters. as a treat.
this has nothing to do with his character but i firmly believe that he and quinlan vos had at LEAST a fling when they were padawans. there is zero evidence to back this up aside from a few comics where they were being goofy teenagers together but i stand by this. it is an unshakeable aspect of obi-wan to me that has only gotten worse with the kenobi show.
no matter what, no matter how terrible or devastating or downright apocalyptic it gets, obi-wan kenobi will never fall to the dark side. never. it won't be easy, but that is a line he has never, and will never cross. i will not hear any "obi-wan touched the dark side during the theed generator fight" slander. if that was true tell me why the force theme was playing during his moment of triumph!!! Would John Williams Lie To Us Like That?? to our face?????
anyways i could go on forever about obi-wan because he is My Ultimate Blorbo but this post is getting super long so i'll leave it there. hope this helped even a little or at the very least was entertaining for you to read <3
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choke-me-joey · 1 year
Text
Matching Tattoos
Eddie Munson x reader
Content warning: 18+ content minors DNI, DO NOT GIVE ANYONE OR YOURSELF TATTOOS AT HOME FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GO TO A PROFESSIONAL THIS IS FICTION AND A VERY UNHYGIENIC SITUATION FOR NEW TATTOOS, blowjobs, gagging, swallowing, friends to lovers, Eddie is so fucking sweet, porn with some plot followed by fluff.
Part 2
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"Isn't she pretty?" Eddie grins, producing the homemade tattoo gun from under his bed. Pretty was a very strong word. More like a clump of sketchy looking metal held together with even sketchier looking screws and rubber bands.
You scoff. "If you think she's pretty I'm seriously starting to question your taste, Munson. Going from Chrissy Cunningham to this? That's quite a decline."
Eddie rolls his eyes.
"You're never going to drop that are you? Chrissy was a 5 minute crush, besides, she's been dating that douchebag Jason Carver for ages now." Eddie waves his hand to signify his distate. "Anyway, nowadays my taste is more...refined, thank you very much. Hence why I am going through the world's longest dry spell at the moment. Now shut up, and get on the bed. We're doing this." He buzzes the tattoo gun for extra effect.
"Yessir." Giving him a cheeky salute, you lie down on Eddie's bed as he messes around with the ink, and something crinkles beneath you. Your brow furrows as you dig underneath you, and you pull out a dog eared magazine. You flick through the pages, your cheeks flushing. "Jesus, Eddie, resorting to porno mags? You really are suffering." You throw the crusty magazine at him, laughing. Eddie quickly kicks it under his bed.
"What? I got needs, Y/N, and its not exactly like there's a line of babes wanting to fuck the town freak."
"Not even with the whole struggling rockstar vibe you've got going on?" You cock your eyebrow, shooting him a smirk.
"Right? I should be drowning in pussy," he grins, and you roll your eyes. "Still want it on your hip, right?"
"As long as it can be covered by a bathing suit so my parents don't murder me, have at it."
Eddie gulps as you unbutton your jeans, shimmying your hips out of them and exposing your simple black panties to him. You then roll your shirt up your stomach and tie it in a knot to prevent it from getting in his way.
It wasn't like he hadn't seen you like this before, he'd seen you in a bathing suit hundreds of times but this....this was different. This was you, half naked, on his bed. You that Eddie had been harbouring a crush on for a good year or so now, hence the dry spell. He didn't want anyone else, he wanted you, his best friend, his partner in crime, his girl. Nobody in this deadbeat town even came close, not anymore.
He was ashamed to even admit that the magazine you'd fished out from his bed was merely a distraction tool. So many nights he'd fucked his fist thinking of you, the way your body glistened in the sun that time when you sunbathed out the back of his trailer in that black bikini, the way your breasts threatened to spill out of the cups and your ass peeked out from the bottoms that left very little to the imagination.
He had to get you out of his head. It was sick, it was wrong, you were his best friend. His beautiful, funny, smart, sexy as hell best friend. If he had to beat off to some random chick in a disgustingly cheap porno magazine just to stop him thinking about you, so be it.
But honestly, when you'd asked him to give you a tattoo on your hip, the magazines just weren't doing it anymore.
Eddie cleared his throat. "You sure about this Y/N?"
"Eddie, shut up and ink me already," you smile, playfully nudging him with your foot. "You drew it up, yeah?"
"One bat comin' at ya," Eddie grins, showing you the little stencil he'd drawn. It was an exact copy of the largest bat out of the swarm on his arm. "You know we can never not be friends after this right? Matching tattoos is a pretty big commitment."
"Until death do us part." You teased.
"I fuckin' do," Eddie kissed your hand, making you snort. Your friendship had always been like this, flirty to the point where people were always wondering if you were together or not. But that's all it ever was, all bark and no bite per say. "Can you move your, uh, your-"
"Panties, Eddie? For someone who used the phrase 'drowning in pussy' earlier I refuse to believe 'panties' gets you all flustered." You tease, pushing down your panties and exposing your skin to him.
Eddie can feel his palms sweating as your panties slip dangerously low, almost exposing that dip between your legs. His mouth is as dry as the fucking desert when he catches a glimpse of your smooth, soft skin. God, he wants to put his mouth there. He wants to put his mouth all over you actually. He coughs once more.
"Right, let's do this, pretty girl." He carefully cleans the area you want tattooed with some antiseptic liquid before laying the stencil down, carefully pulling it away to reveal the outline on your skin. "Looks metal, babe, you ready?"
You nod, clutching his comforter in one hand as he brings the needle to your skin and the buzzing starts. You bite your lip as you feel the needle meet your flesh, a searing burning pain but not too unbearable.
As he drags the needle across your soft skin, Eddie is sweating. He's so close to a part of you he desperately wants to explore, to kiss and lick and make you scream his name until you're sobbing in ecstasy. But he can't. Why would someone like you ever be interested in the town freak? The nerdy metalhead that spends his free time planning extensive D&D campaigns, or playing in shitty dive bars to a crowd of not even 10 people didn't compare to the jocks who went to endless parties, or did something better than spending their spring break in their trailer getting high and watching horror movies.
"Whatcha thinking about, handsome?" Your sweet, sweet voice breaks him out of his thoughts and he looks up at you. God, you look like a fucking angel right now, all draped across his bed with your hair over his pillow. He knows he'll be able to smell the shampoo you use on that later.
Eddie, always one to almost never lose his cool, shoots you a cheeky grin.
"Thinkin' about how I could tattoo my name on you, pretty Make sure everyone knows who's girl you are."
"Everyone already knows, I've only got eyes for you, dungeon master."
Fuck, he wishes you wouldn't call him that. Not like this anyway. Not with this amount clothes on. Or not on.
"Less of the dirty talk, you. I'm trying to concentrate here." He growls, wiping the residual ink off your skin, refilling and continuing his work. You try to ignore the throbbing in your panties and how good his hands feel on your bare skin.
-
35 minutes later, it's Eddie's turn. After cleaning and covering your new artwork, you get yourself dressed (much to Eddie's disappointment) and turn to him with a wicked grin.
"Pants off, Munson."
"Yes, ma'am." Copying your salute from earlier, he unbuckles his handcuff belt and undoes his jeans, shimmying out of them and tossing them somewhere in his room. He also pulls off his Hellfire shirt. You raise an eyebrow. "What? Can't risk anything happening to it, I gotta wait another week before I can get more!"
"Alright, nerd, lie down." You smile, rummaging around in your bag for the little design you'd drawn up for him. You pass the small design of the devil from the Hellfire logo to him and he grins.
"That's metal."
"So metal that nobody is gonna see it unless they're going down on you."
"Yeah, but we'll know it's there. It'll be like our dirty little secret, Y/N."
"Hot," you laugh as Eddie lies down, putting his arms behind his head. He tilts his head down towards his hips.
"Get to work, missy."
You'd been practising on that gross fake skin stuff in preparation for this, but nothing could have prepared you for touching Eddie...here. His skin was so soft and warm, and he smelled so good. A mix of his old cologne he'd gotten from you last Christmas, smoke and a hint of sweat. It was so Eddie, it made your heart flutter and somewhere else flutter too.
You think Eddie takes the needle like a champ, but when you look up at him about 20 minutes later, his eyes are screwed shut.
"Hurt that much?" You grin and he shakes his head, eyes still closed.
"Nah, babe, honestly, I'm...fine." He hesitates. You stop for a second, tilting your head to the side in question. You go to wipe off some of the excess ink and your arm brushes over his boxers accidentally.
Oh.
"Eddie, are you-"
"Shut up, shut up, shut up, don't talk about it." Eddie chokes out, his cheeks flushing. His loose plaid boxers had done a good job of hiding his semi, but when you'd brushed against it, it was game over.
Eddie was hard.
"I-is this like a normal reaction to getting tattooed, or...?" You stutter, your mouth feeling dryer than fucking Gandhi's flip flop.
Eddie sighs, throwing an arm over his face.
"No, it's a normal reaction to a very, very pretty girl hovering near my dick, babe." He says in a small voice. Your cheeks flush as you place the tattoo gun down on his bedside table.
"O-oh. Well, do you want me t-to stop? Or I could help with...I could help you with that?"
Eddie groans behind his arm.
"Babe, don't tease me like that, that's just cruel. 'Sides, wouldn't you feel...weird jerking me off?"
Your mind had not gone to jerking him off. In fact, it had gone a step further.
"Oh, I-I wasn't...I was gonna, um-"
"Blow me?!" Eddie throws his arm off of his face and stares at you, and you pretend you don't notice his cock jumping in his boxers. "You, my super hot best friend Y/N, are seriously offering to suck my dick right now?!"
"I-I’m sorry-"
"Sorry?! What the fuck are you sorry for?! Making all my wet dreams come true?!"
You giggle. "Eddie, shut up."
"No, I'm serious, Y/N, you've been in here-" he sits up and taps the side of his head "-doing some nasty shit for so fucking long. Why do you think I'm jacking off to shitty porno mags instead of chasing pussy?"
You're silent, a slow smile spreading across your face as your hand creeps over his crotch, gently palming at his cock which jumps in your hand.
"Well, lucky for you, dungeon master, you've also been the star of my wet dreams."
Eddie falls back onto his pillows with a groan. "Fuck, I can't believe this is actually fucking happening."
"Tell me what you want to do to me, Eds." Your voice is low and sultry as you give him a squeeze. He looks at you, tongue darting out to wet his chapped lips. You tug at his boxers, giving him a questioning look. He grabs your wrist.
"Are you sure about this, Y/N? Cos if it's a choice between getting off, or keeping you as my best friend, I'd rather keep you babe. Blue balls and all."
You smile softly; Eddie was too sweet for his own good. It was one of the things you loved most about him.
"What about if you get to get off and still keep me?" You say, pushing his hand away and slowly pulling his boxers down. His cock springs out, slapping against his lower stomach. He was long and thick, uncut with an upwards curve that the very sighmade your pussy clench. You huff out an exasperated laugh. "Holy shit, Eds."
"Good 'holy shit', or bad 'holy shit'?" Eddie's cheeks are flushed as he smirks.
"You know the answer to that." You wrap your hand around his cock, making him hiss as you stroke the silky skin. You pull the foreskin down to expose his angry looking, reddish purple mushroom head, and a drop of precum blurts out. You continue to stroke him, eyes fixed on his face.
"Fuck, stop looking at me like that," Eddie groans, his cock twitching in your hand. "'S too much."
"Like what?" You smirk, straddling his thighs. He can't answer you, any sort of answer immediately wiped from his brain as you lower your mouth to the head of his cock and lick, tasting him for the first time. His hips buck, forcing more of his cock into your mouth, making you gag out of surprise.
"Shit, sorry, sorry," Eddie gasps. "Fuck, your mouth feels so fucking good, don't be surprised if I come like, super quick, okay? Been thinking about this for so fucking long you have no idea. And you look....God, you looking so fucking beautiful right now."
You shoot him a soft smile, pressing a kiss to his cock before taking him into your mouth properly, swallowing as much of him down as you can.
Eddie's hand comes to your hair, gently stroking it as you bob your head up and down. The flavour of him blooms over your tongue and makes you hum in appreciation.
"Fuck, babe, your mouth...shit, it's so fucking good, taking my cock so well..."
You pull up and suckle the head, flicking your tongue over the slit. "Holy shit, you're gonna kill me, sweetheart."
You smirk, pulling back and pursing your lips, allowing a glob of spit to fall from your mouth onto the head, dribbling down the shaft. Eddie falls back onto the pillows. "That's it, you've killed me, you're blowing a dead man, baby."
"A dead man who's gonna come in my mouth, right?" You mumble, jerking him quickly, your spit allowing your hand to slide over his shaft with ease. Eddie keens, his teeth gritted.
"You can't say shit like that, angel, I'm about ready to blow as it is."
"Do it, I want it." You reply, taking his cock into the warmth of your mouth once more. You allow him to fuck your face, both hands now resting on the back of your head as you swallowed around him.
"Shit, fuck, oh my fucking god, baby, Y/N, I'm gonna come, fuck I'm gonna come so fucking hard in that pretty mouth of yours, yeah? God, you're such a good girl, so good f'me, fuck, fuck, fuuuuuuck!"
Eddie comes with a broken moan, his hips thrusting upwards and his hands holding you in place as his cock pumps rope after rope of cum down your throat. You moan, relishing the taste of him, which makes Eddie shudder at the overstimulation. You swallow everything he gives you. "Fuck, sweetheart, can you show me?"
You begrudgingly take your mouth off of his cock and open your mouth, tilting your head back slightly and sticking your tongue out to show him that you had indeed swallowed his cum. "Holy shit. I'm gonna get hard again." He groans, his chest heaving and his cock twitching slightly. You giggle and place a kiss to it, and Eddie grabs you, pulling you on top of him, careful to avoid the new ink. "I can kiss you, right?"
"I think we're past that, Eddie" You smile and squeak in surprise as he pulls your face to his, capturing your lips in a hasty kiss. It's a chaste kiss, experimental and you break away briefly. His eyes lock with yours, as if he was trying to search them to see if this was okay. "It's okay, Eds" you whisper, nodding gently. His eyes dart to your mouth and back up to your eyes.
"Do I get to keep you?" He whispers, his fingers softly stroking your cheek. You brush your nose against his.
"You get to keep me."
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