#a weird one...

[donotpush]

Giving birth while stuck in a window

A/N: not technically stuck in a window, I guess?

Imagine a heavily pregnant window cleaner, his belly hanging low and heavy inside his blue work overall.

As stubborn (and a little bit in denial of his condition) every single time that the topic of his pregnancy is brought into the conversation, always full of comments like don't you think it's time for paternity leave already? he would act as if the fact that he was so knocked up was a casual inconvenience, something that he could get rid of any moment now.

He would act as if his growing belly didn't become a burden as the months went by, he refused to get a new overall when he started to fit tight on it, his gravid belly stretching the fabric to the maximum and threatening to burst the buttons at the smallest wrong movement.

Even his coworkers actively tried to stop him from getting on the bosun's chair. But he was getting his job done, no matter what.

So, the day he woke up and felt his stomach weird, his hips light and his back not aching for the first time in months, he thought that today was the day he finally could get a decent working day, like his pre-pregnancy days.

Yes, the occasional cramps that got more intense and the weird pressure between his legs? Totally to blame for something he ate, that street food was never reliable after all.

So the day went by, cramp after cramp, his breath getting more and more labored as the pressure he felt on his pelvis got more and more intense.

But he ignored the comments on how low he was carrying, the concerned looks of the people that stared at him behind the windows he cleaned, and the insistence of his mates to go home (or probably the hospital).

So when his water broke, staining his work overall, he was more than quick to dismiss it as spilled water, a bucket that fell or something like that.

With no time to change (how many windows he had to clean today?), he continued his job, ignoring the contractions that got closer and closer ripping through his gut and ignoring all those glances directed towards him by other workers that didn't dare to ask the obvious question.

Even the safety harness that hugged uncomfortably his huge belly, acting as some sort of corset with how big he was, was the least of the sensations he was worried about right now.

Ignoring even how low the baby's head felt, even if the sensation made him clutch over himself and instinctively squat (which he quickly tried to avoid, because God he needed to push so bad).

The contractions were soon followed by a few groans and sobs that he tried to suppress as much as he could, biting his lips to avoid moaning out loud and trying to keep his focus on wiping, scrubbing, and washing.

Wiping, scrubbing, washing. Wiping, scrubbing, washing.

He tried to keep it together, to breathe and to ignore the sensation of the head started to crown on his pants as he cleaned the window of the conference room, all the bemused stares from the people inside making him even more conscious of the need to push that baby out.

He tried to keep it together, to hold it in, wiping, scrubbing, washing.

But that baby was coming, the urge to get it out impossible to ignore as he leaned down, gripping the window sill for support as pain rippled through his lower abdomen.

He could feel it, the head threatening to come out right now, and he could do nothing else but bare down and push, unable to fight it.

He didn't have time to even unzip his overalls, his body pushing and forcing the head out that came out with a gush of amniotic fluid, making the unmistakable bulge crowning in the back of his pants the clue to let everyone inside know what was going on.

He couldn't help the scream that left his mouth as he pushed, shaking and gripping at his stomach and wobbling to try to unzip his overalls, the head stuck against the tight fabric, unable to go anywhere else.

The glass of the window, so clean that it felt like nothing was separating him from the meeting going on inside, left the people inside more than satisfied with his job.

#ask #asks #birth kink #labor kink #pregnant man #mpreg #birth denial #labor denial #pregnant fantasy #stories #public birth #clothing birth #a weird one... #but we make it work #labor #pregnancy #pregnancy fantasy

[angelicgarnet]

the way people online talk about autism is getting really weird, like do they know that neurotypicals still have interests? that someone being passionate about a hobby doesn't mean they're autistic? you guys know that right

#woof #like self diagnosis is one thing #but saying someone is autistic because they talk about a specific hobby a lot is weird (and waters down the actual definition of autism) #and its no different than saying someone has ocd bc they organize their books alpabetically #or saying someone has ADHD because they got distracted by something #and people who aren't even autistic are honestly getting way too comfortable with autism jokes

[whoareyoueventhough]

last night I had a dream that I met Bill and Ted, and I complimented Bills crop top and said something about how I would wear crop tops if my body was less bogus and he put a hand on my shoulder and said “what’s truly bogus is the way you think about yourself” and Ted nodded solemnly and then I woke up

#bill and ted #bnt #one time i dreamt #weird dreams #body positivity???

[lokh]

communication is key 💪

#this posted weird the first time so im doing it again LMAO #i think its cos i had the text editor open for too long? ._. #laishuro #dungeon meshi #nakamoto toshiro #laios touden #delicious in dungeon #art #anyway this is based on that one ask in my laishuro tag

[your-local-ruebit-hole-detective]

this does not apply if you wear exclusively leggings. Those things tear all the time you need like a million on standby

#rue rants #Polls #I get the feeling I might be exposing my weird wardrobe opinions with this one

[fandomsandfeminism]

Yall wanna hear a kinda funny, kinda sad story about my grandmother and hetero-normativity?

Ok, so... when my grandmother was in her 50s (I was an infant), she met a woman at the Unitarian Church. And, as can happen when you meet your soul mate, this event made it impossible for her to deny parts of herself that she had fiercely hidden her whole life.

All the drama- their affair being found out, the divorce with my grandfather, the court battle over who got the house, happened while I was a baby. Even in my earliest memories, it's just Mama Jo and Oma, and my grandfather lived elsewhere (first his own apartment, then a nursing home, then with us.)

But here's the thing- no one ever explained any of this to me. No one ever sat down and was like "hey, Rosie, so do you know what a lesbian is?" It was the 90s. It was Texas. I think my mom was still kinda processing all this, and just assumed that like... I was gonna figure it out. Don't mention it, let it just be normal. Like I think my mom thought that if she explained the situation, she would be making it weird? I dunno.

But like. In the 90s, in all the movies I had seen and books I had read, do you know how many same sex couples I had seen? Like. 0. Do you know how many "platonic best friend/roommates" I had seen? A lot. I had no context, is what I'm saying.

I literally thought this was a Golden Girls, roommates, besties situation until I was like...I dunno, 11? 12?

It was actually their parrot, an African Grey named Spike, imitating my grandmothers voice saying "Johanna, honey, it's getting late", that triggered the MIND BLOWN moment as I realized that *there's only one master bedroom and it only has 1 waterbed* when all the pieces finally clicked.

Anyway. I think it's a real important thing for kids to know queer people exist, for a lot of reasons, but also because kids can be clueless and it's embarrassing to have your grandmother be outted by a parrot because everyone just thought you'd figure it out on your own.

Anyway, here is my grandma and her wife, my Oma, after they moved to Albuquerque to be artsy gay cowboys and live their best life. They helped run a "Lesbian Dude Ranch" out there (basically just with funding and financial support. As Oma has explained "traditionally, most lesbians don't have a lot of money" so they wrote the checks and let the younger ladies actually run the ranch.)

#this is the grandmother who passed away unexpectedly earlier this month #she was so cool yall #and so weird #they got married twice by the way once when Massachusetts legalized it and once when New Mexico did #they hiked the grand canyon together #they had a european river cruise planned for this fall #she was 89 and she wanted to see the whole world with her wife #and they were working on it #literally i thought they were roommates #and there was only one bed

[iwasbored777]

We're not appreciating the Weird Barbie enough. It's said in the movie that she helps everyone who need help while they always see her as someone who's not as good as them. She was friends with all dismissed Barbies and Kens, was there to offer support and safe shelter for everyone who needed it in Kendom, without her nothing in the movie would've been alright. When Stereotypical Barbie calls her "ugly and unwanted" she still helps her.

She was representing a woman in women's world who was pushed aside by other women because she didn't fit in but still had more wisdom and kindness than everyone who thought they're better than her.

#weird barbie #barbie #Barbie movie #everyone looks at her as a queer person i see her as me I'm a straight person who got bullied simply for being different than the rest #but it's beautiful that we all see ourselves in her whatever our story is #cuz that's the point of characters like her #i changed wisness to wisdom sorry english isn't my first language and i forgot which one is more correct

[gibbearish]

love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking

#yes i want things to be free like ??? that is not a weird desire #'but but it costs money to keep up' ok and? how is that my problem #the government has plenty of murder dollars they could reallocate a few to make internet services universal if they wanted #also these companies were perfectly capable of supporting themselves before the internet got drowned with ads so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #edit: muting notifs on this post bc new additions have kind of petered out #so no one feel bad about adding something someone else has said‚ it is not bothering me im just trying to keep my #notifs page cleanish lol #also since i saw some people are being redirected to read my tags: firstly hiiiiii this is a special secret message for you:3 #secondly i have learned since making this that the reason they were able to support themselves previously was because #of investors bankrolling everything #and theyre now finally realizing that theyre never going to actually make a profit and arent as willing to invest #however thats just a minor correction and doesnt change my overall point #once again. so many murder dollars #so thats why im just adding it here in the tags rather than making an actual correction #anyways . love yall 💕 #origibberish #bigger gibbers

[feymaid]

⚡️DEATH IS ONLY TEMPORARY I’LL LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!⚡️

#MOVIE OF THE DECADE CINEMA IS BAAAACK #I need to rewatch it 1000000 times NOW #that one post that is like Lisa Frankenstein is for the people who have beef about the ending to corpse bride #I feel so seen #weird girl nation rise #lisa frankenstein #Lisa Frankenstein fanart #my art #not my oc

[perfectlyripeclementine]

calling my lover "mine" but not in the way that my toothbrush or notebook are mine, mine in the way my neighborhood is mine, and also everybody else's, "mine" like mine to tend to, mine to care for, mine to love. "mine" not like possession but devotion.

#nonbinary love #nblnb yearning #nb4nb #nblnb #wholesomeposting #yearning hours #ive been thinking about how some languages dont have a possessive tense #so you dont say “i have a thing” but rather “a thing is by me” #and like im not usually one for psycho linguistics and like critical thoughts etc etc etc #but i really like the framework of responsibility/commitment rather than ownership #i think about this mostly in terms of ecology #and relation to land #but i also love it as it applies to language shared between lovers #like i LOVE calling them mine or for them to call me theirs #but i'm also nonmonog and that was kinda weird to square for a while #and it clicked one time when i was talking about my neighborhood and i was like well #when i say my neighborhood or my city it's understood i'm not taking it away from anybody else #its understood i just mean the city where i live #so why cant we apply the same to lovers? #mine in the way i want to show up for you again and again #ok #done now

[franeridart]

more dragon

#my sketches #one piece #monkey d luffy #monkey d dragon #monkey d garp #real talk and jokes aside i think dragons childhood with garp wasn’t all that bad #since he actually was a marine at some point right so he must have at the very least respected garp #garps way of raising a kid that actually wanted to be a marine must have been somewhat different too #all in all i think leaving luffy to garp wouldn’t sound like such a weird thought to dragon ?? #i get why hed go there i mean #garp tho…………….. #what was that man even thinking………………….

[adobe-outdesign]

hey Neopets can you explain why you have an unreleased petpet that's just a human man on all fours

you can take your time but I do need an answer

#neopets #neotag #petpets #outdesign posts things #this seems like one of those random weird early items but the art style is entirely too recent #greatest hits

[doggirlhen]

they should make shopping for cables easier i think. there should be a service where you pick the ends, you pick the length of cable, you pick the like. color and texture of the cable (shitty plastic, nicely woven, bare metal, whatever) and then they make it and ship it to you for a reasonable fee

#barks #i have kinda nice headphones with a weird cable end you plug into them and shopping for that is so annoying #the one that came with the damn things felt super cheap to me so i got a kinda nicer one of amazon #but i still want a like. Proper Nice one #very annoying finding it

[marxistgnome]

Memes shared by kids who grew up on starships I think they should have sea scout/land scout beef with kids that grew up on Starbases

#star trek #ds9 #tng #wesley crusher type kids need more representation #it must be such a weird environment to go up in like cool but weird #like wheres that post about wesley being the weirdest kid in starfleet cos they're talking about a specific procedure and hes like #ha yeah reminds me of when the first officer got god like powers and aged me 10 years #that but every starship kid in every situation #yeah i grew up on one of yhe ships that prevented that romulan invasion i was playing dom jot on my padd at the time tho so i didn't notice

[wolfythewitch]

Sketch

#one of those everything i draw feels weird days lmao #but i needed to get this out of my system #holding them in my hands #art #sketch #tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #timothy stoker

[kumeramen]

They're having book discussion~

#wym abnormal weird morbid? #thats just their love language ;) #one piece #usopp #tony tony chopper #trafalgar law #nico robin #lawbin #my art #was going to post early at first #but then i saw the op feb calendar on x/twitter #i see u i see u~~ 👀 #might as well post it for robins bday then~