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oh-ranpo · 3 years

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stay, don’t go.

pairing: bucky barnes x reader warnings: angsty angst an: I don’t know, I just wrote it lmao word count: 2.4k+

“And if he was wrong about you, he was wrong about me!”

You kept hearing those words replaying over and over in your head. You knew that he had been upset about Sam giving up the shield, but you were surprised at how you hadn’t seen these particular emotions coming. There were a lot of things that Bucky worried about, but this burden of a thought broke your heart even more than usual. It was the most transparent he had been in months, and you hadn’t even been the one he was opening up to. Not that it mattered all that much, but now, you were struggling to find a way to help with the newly re-opened wound.

After the therapy session with Sam, Bucky had withdrawn into himself even more. Even though you had been waiting right outside the door, it was almost as if he didn’t see you at all when he walked through it. You had reached for his hand, and he had let you take his, but he didn’t say a word to you.

He’s had a rough day, you had told yourself. Getting arrested on top of everything else he was dealing with had to be a lot. He just needed some time to process it all.

Only, now, it was five hours later and he still hadn’t said a thing. You managed to get some hums in response to your prompting, and a shrug here and there, but no actual words fell from his lips. The anger from earlier in the day had dissipated, and now his shoulders drooped as he seemed to be carrying the world on his shoulders. Not that this was anything new to you either. It was a look you had long grown used to, but after hearing his outburst at therapy, you had a better idea than usual as to what was causing his pain this time.

Bucky had taken a spot in one of the chairs in the corner of your shared hotel room, and his blue eyes were fixed on the wall in front of him as he seemed to be attempting to stare a hole through it. You could practically hear the gears in his head turning, and you were sure that if you could read his thoughts, you wouldn’t be able to handle the emotional turmoil that lay inside. When you couldn’t get him to talk, you decided to order some food - something that you knew he liked - and then sat down in the chair next to him.

“Food should be here soon,” you told him, as if he couldn’t hear you placing the delivery order just five minutes prior from the other side of the room. This time, Bucky didn’t even bother acknowledging what you had said as his hand came up to rest under his chin. He was still staring at the same spot on the wall, and his eyes were squinting slightly as he seemed to be deep in thought.

You sighed as you glanced down at your watch and saw that it was getting later in the evening, and you wondered what Sam was up to. The three of you had parted ways after the police station, and Sam had barely said anything to you or Bucky when you left. You could make out some of their conversation through the door during therapy, but really the only part you had heard clearly were Bucky’s words. And it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that the ‘he’ Bucky had been referring to was Steve. This was what his whole trip had been about in the first place.

You knew that you couldn’t go the whole night without addressing the elephant in the room, but you also knew how Bucky was when it came to opening up. Even with you. You knew that, besides Sam, you were one of the only people that he trusted since Steve passed away, and you didn’t take that lightly. You really only pressed when you knew that it would be good for him to talk about something, and this was one of those times.

“Bucky?” You started again, using his name this time in an attempt to draw his attention away from the wall. He didn’t look over at you at first, but slowly, as you waited patiently, they started to trail over in your direction. When his eyes finally met yours, you gave him a small, sad smile as you leaned against the arm of the chair closest to him. “About what you said to Sam today…”

You didn’t get a chance to finish your thought before Bucky was swiftly moving out of his seat. The movement caught you by surprise, as he had seemed so relaxed - well, as relaxed as he could be given the situation - but now he was running his hands through his hair as he started pacing in circles.

“I don’t really want to talk about it,” he mumbled, as his hand ran over his face, and his other gloved hand shoved into the pockets of his jeans. Slowly, you stood up from your own chair and made your way over to him, your hand reaching out for the sleeve of his jacket before he harshly pulled it out of your grasp.

His entire reaction was confusing you because usually, he just shut down. He didn’t get this visibly worked up, he just shut down and refused to give you any emotion or feedback on how he was feeling. Now, you could tell that he was upset, and from the look on his face, he knew that his expression and actions were giving him away.

“But you know you should,” you continued as you tried to reach for him again, this time more slowly. “Let me be there for you, Buck.” The second part of your statement came out at nearly a whisper, but it had been loud enough he had heard you and he started shaking his head.

“You shouldn’t have to. I’m- I’m fine. I just need to go-“ Now, he had started moving towards the hotel door, and you felt your heart start to race in your chest. He was trying to leave.

“Wait, no, don’t go!” You cried, as you rushed to stop him, and Bucky’s hand hesitated over the doorknob. “Please. Stay. Talk to me.” You hated how broken your words sounded, but after everything that had taken place over the last few months, you couldn’t bear the thought of him walking out of that door and leaving you alone. Hesitantly, Bucky looked back over his shoulder at you, and you could see that same, decades-old pain swimming in his light blue irises.

“You’d be better off if I did. I’m doing nothing for you here.” Earlier, when you thought the comment about Steve was the most painful thing you had heard him say, this was a close second. You shook your head firmly as you took another step closer to him, and instead of reaching for the door knob fully, Bucky allowed his hand to fall back down to his side.

“No, Bucky, I wouldn’t be better off. I lived five years without you. Five years of never knowing if you were going to come back. I’ve known a life without you, and that is something I never want to have to experience again.”

Bucky’s shoulders deflated at your words, and you could see a flash of something in his expression that gave you a sliver of hope. You knew how he felt about you, and you knew that, deep down, he was well aware of how you felt about him. That was a secret you never tried to keep from him, and the one thing he never tried to hide from you either.

After he didn’t move any closer to the door, and he didn’t respond to your words either, you slowly reached out for him once more, but this time, he didn’t pull away. You took ahold of his gloved hand and moved closer to him. The pain and conflict was still present in his expression, but as you lifted your other hand to cup his cheek, you hoped that maybe you would be able to find a way to bring him some comfort.

“Come sit back down with me, please,” you whispered, and for a moment, he didn’t move. You knew that if he really wanted to leave, you would have to let him, but your heart started to crack at the mere thought. Thankfully, after another heavy moment of silence, Bucky nodded and allowed you to lead him back to the end of the bed. You didn’t drop his hand, and when the two of you sat down next to one another, you sat close enough so that your leg was pressed up against his.

“I know you said you don’t want to talk about it, but I heard what you said to Sam today. About Steve,” you murmured, your gaze falling to where your hands were entwined and resting on his thigh. “And Bucky, you know that isn’t true, right? Steve… he thought the world of you. He would have, and did, do anything for you. He knew you, Buck, just as I do, and he saw the heart that you have and knew that you were worth every bit of it.”

When you looked up, you could see the tears swimming in his eyes as he tried to hold them back. Steve had always been a sensitive subject, and you knew that, but you also knew that what you said was true. You had known Steve, and you had seen and heard the way he felt about his best friend. Before he was Captain America, Bucky had always been there for him, and after he was Captain America, he was there to return the favor without hesitation. He never held Bucky’s Hydra days against him because he knew, just as you did, that he had no control over that. He was a victim; a pawn in a much bigger game than he ever could have won on his own. He was still paying for it, even after all this time. You just hoped that someday he’d find a way to forgive himself.

“I just don’t know sometimes,” Bucky managed to choke out after another heavy silence. “I mean, I’m trying, but the nightmares and the constant reminders of what I did…” His voice trailed off as he fixed his eyes on the window across the room in an attempt to keep the tears at bay. You knew that he hated crying in front of anyone, despite you having told him numerous times that he didn’t have to hide that part of himself from you.

“That wasn’t you, at least, not really,” you replied. “You’re James Buchanan Barnes, White Wolf.” This time you nudged him in the shoulder with your own and he cracked half a smile as his eyes flickered back over to you. “The Winter Soldier was not you. And before you try to argue with me, I’ve seen him and I’ve seen you, and I can tell you that he is nowhere near the same guy as the one that’s sitting right here next to me.”

Bucky cringed at the reminder that you had been forced to bear witness to his time as The Winter Soldier when Zemo had activated him a few years before the blip. He had spent months apologizing, despite not having done anything to you, and you cursed yourself for bringing it up again.

“I mean, the metal arm is the only thing you guys have in common, and on the Bucky I know… it’s actually kind of sexy.” You added the last part lightly, and when Bucky looked over at you again, you waggled your eyebrows playfully. He just shook his head as the corners of his lips turned up just a bit, before his gaze fell to his lap. The hand you were holding now was the metal one, and you followed his gaze as you released your hold on it before slowly slipping his glove off. He flexed the metal appendages as soon as the glove was gone, and you reached for it as your fingers traced over the cool metal.

“It’s a curse,” he mumbled, his eyes still locked on where it was resting in his lap. “I mean, Shuri was nice enough to make it better than the old one but…”

You shook your head as you grabbed it before lifting it to your lips and pressing a small kiss to the back of it.

“It’s not a curse, it’s a part of you. And because of that, I love it. Just like I love you.”

Bucky inhaled sharply at those three little words, even though you had been saying them practically non-stop since he had returned. You had said it before he was gone too, but you knew, back then, that he didn’t believe it.

“I do love you, Bucky. So please… don’t leave.”

For a moment, you could tell that Bucky had almost completely forgotten about how he had been about to walk out. It was a gift that you possessed that he had never truly understood. Even though you were talking about his problems, it didn’t feel nearly as bad as it did when he talked about his problems with anyone else. Not that he opened up enough to anyone else to really do much good.

“I couldn’t leave,” he murmured as your eyes lifted to meet his. “You’re the only one that makes me feel… well, anything.”

Your heart fluttered in your chest as that was practically him saying he loved you too, and you couldn’t help but smile.

“And thank you,” he continued. “For what you said.” You nodded in response as you leaned against his shoulder, his metal hand falling to your thigh as you wrapped your arms around his waist.

“I’m always here for you to talk to, you know that? Though, you do need to talk to Sam too. He’s going through a hard time just like you are, and he needs his friends to be there with him too.”

Slowly, Bucky nodded, but before either of you could continue, there was a knock on the hotel room door, and you were reminded of the take-out order that you had placed earlier.

“You hungry?” You asked with another smile as you stood up from the end of the bed and moved towards the door.

“I could eat,” you heard him respond, and you chuckled as you pulled open the door to grab your food.

Things were far from perfect, but every day the two of you took baby steps towards healing together. And really, you couldn’t ask for much more than that.

#bucky barnes #the winter soldier #marvel #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes angst #marvel imagine #the winter soldier imagine

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makeste · 5 years

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BnHA Chapter 243: Happy New Year

Previously on BnHA: The government was all “shit what are we going to do about Shigaraki Tomura and his Actual Fucking Army of villains, oh I know, why don’t we draft some child soldiers” and so they brought back internships and made them mandatory. Class 1-A had the Christmas party to end all Christmas parties, featuring 20 unique custom-tailored Santa costumes, enough chicken to feed Tomura’s entire Actual Fucking Army, and one (1) giant sword that somehow made its way into the hands of Eri, First of Her Name. Tidings of comfort and joy were had by all, and to cap things off, Shouto invited Bakugou (who by the way was having a lot of thoughts about how Best Jeanist asked him to reveal his new hero name the next time they met, because Horikoshi knows what kind of angst I like) and Deku to come intern with him at the motherfucking Endeavor Hero Agency and make everyone’s OT3 dreams come true.

Today on BnHA: Deku visits his mom on New Year’s Eve and the two of them ball out at the Make Me Cry Olympics. There is a whole plotline all about Hawks getting coffee, and I’m trying to figure out if it’s really just coffee or if THE ENTIRE SERIES SECRETLY HINGES ON THIS ONE SCENE omg. The next day at the Endeavor Hero Agency, Endeavor is all, “welcome! fuck you,” which may or may not be setting the tone for this whole arc. There’s a brief flashback to All Might congratulating his sons on their internship and saying foreshadowing things like “your new quirks probably won’t go fucking apeshit again” and “you’re a lot like Endeavor, this internship will be good for you!” Back in the present, Endeavor dramatically leaps over a railing and blasts off to go fight Monk Gyatso with the disaster trio hot on his heels. Hawks then shows up out of nowhere and the text is literally all, “WHAT’S HAWKS DOING HERE?” and seriously though. What are any of us even doing here. This arc has only just started and I already have no idea what’s going on and I fucking love it.

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity immediately afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.)

loooool

is she going to be all right

-- also! WE’RE GOING TO SEE THE PARENTS AGAIN HOMG YES. HORIKOSHI YOU’RE ON FIRE WEEK AFTER WEEK YOU MAD DOG

(ETA: literally the only way he could end his streak was by going on fucking hiatus. son of a.)

oh shit I forgot that they had the cover and a color page this week! this is great

by the light (ba da dum ba da dum) of the silvery moon (ba da dum ba da dum) I want to spoon -- holy shit, what. do you ever look up the lyrics to a song you vaguely remember from your childhood twenty-five years later in order to make a bizarre joke in a manga recap and you’re like “!!?!?” lol what the fuck. this shit is from 1909. old timey pervs

anyways this may be my favorite Jump cover ever. colors are amazing, art is super cute, it’s the whole package. Aoyama and Iida are killing me. I need that Iida ball in real life, I would seriously pay real money

and now the color spread!

where can I buy that U.A. hoodie. I’m not kidding, I need it in my life. the U.A. logo is great because it doesn’t scream “LOOK AT ME I’M AN ANIME FAN” unless the other person also watches said anime, in which case that’s awesome because the two of you can become best friends and bond over how you’re both nerds with impeccable taste

Kacchan out here holding a fucking root beer like we don’t all know the truth. yeah tough guy you go to bed at eight-thirty and you’re third in your class at the top high school in Japan. but you keep on trying to preserve that image. also this kid is singlehandedly making wifebeaters high fashion I swear to god. it’s a talent

Kirishima looks so good in v-neck shirts yes you go Kiri!

Mina is here!! Mina is part of the main character squad now, everyone! that’s right!! Iida Tenya was booted out after he refused to partake in this photo shoot due to moral outrage over the fact that they’re shooting this at what appears to be a crime scene. a vacuum cleaner was murdered in cold blood omg

Ochako not smiling is such an unusual look for her (and Mina and Kirishima too for that matter) but holy shit. I like it

TODOROKI I’M TRYING TO REACH THROUGH THE COMPUTER SCREEN AND UNBUTTON YOUR TOP BUTTON. HOLY SHIT HOW CAN YOU EVEN BREATHE. RELAX

so the new character book is out October 4, eh? I think we knew this already, but maybe this time the date will actually stick in my mind. anyways, so doing the math, that leaves Kacchan three more chapters (including this one) to reveal his hero name. boy you have a deadline get to work!

YESSSSSSSSSSS

MY NEW YEAR’S ARC MAY NOT BE HAPPENING, BUT AT LEAST WE STILL GET TO SEE THEM RING IN 2217 HOORAY

damn that’s a lot of narration in the first panel

“while accompanied by guards” oh shit. and yet, I get it. I like how they refer to it as “the chain of events that led us to move into the dorms” rather than “that time Bakugou got fucking kidnapped.” they are not letting that happen again. good

IZUMAMA YESSSS

at least he’s being open with her about it! come on Inko, push through this. he’s already got 240 other things he’s still not telling you, don’t give him any more reason to keep being secretive

oh my god now Deku is like “anyways do you remember Eri?” and he’s reaching into his pocket now, holy shit?? WHATEVER HE’S PULLING OUT IS GOING TO BE SO FUCKING CUTE, ISN’T IT

oH MY GOD!!!!!

THIS SON OF A BITCH IS JUST GONNA KEEP ON AMASSING A COLLECTION OF ADORABLE AND HILARIOUS LITTLE KID LETTERS, ISN’T HE. LISTEN HERE DEKU YOU MOTHERFUCKER!! THAT PIC OF “MISTER DEKU” IS -- I’M -- !!!!

“I was hardly able to do anything for her” ?? you SAVED HER LIFE?? you BODYSLAMMED OVERHAUL INTO THE GROUND?? YOU GOT US ALL OUT OF THAT ACCURSED BASEMENT? listen here you modest little shit you need to stop doing this. you even taught her the true meaning of quirks for crying out loud. you are the actual best

god the way he is staring at this letter is giving me too many feels for a Thursday afternoon. these are like Saturday night feels. this manga never goes easy on me

same Inko same

oh my god now Inko is launching into a speech about Deku’s sad childhood I can’t with this, MA’AM PLEASE

“covered in bruises” oh my problematic ship. oh this nuanced manga with its intricate layers of feels. this is the lasagna of mangas

hello page 3 is just one big assault on all my emotions and I would like to report this to someone help I am being besieged

oh my fucking god Midoriya family. I’m trying to process all of this and just!!

like. she’s known all this time how big his heart is and that he doesn’t care about himself and just wants to protect others. but for the longest time he was powerless to do it. but still he kept dreaming and she kept looking on waiting for that day he’d finally give up, ready for his heart to break, bracing herself. and then this miracle happened and he got a quirk and all his hopes came true and he got to go to his dream school, and now he’s training to become a hero just like he always wanted

and everything special she always saw about her boy is shining so brightly now, and everyone can see it, and he’s become so strong. but also he’s growing up so fast. he’s gone from being someone she had to protect to someone who’s strong enough to protect not only her, but everyone. strong enough to carry the world on his shoulders

just. can you even imagine. how much pride she must feel, in addition to the relief she’s expressing now. but also the loneliness of knowing she can’t hold on to her baby boy forever and he’s on the verge of going out into the world and leaving her. in fact he basically already has. anyways I came here today for some Three Musketeers antics and now I’m sitting her with Izumama empty nest feels, what is this

-- yo, what?? he’s starting the internship on New Year’s Fucking Day? U.A. doesn’t fuck around, goddamn

(ETA: seriously, no rest for the weary here. both Endeavor and Hawks are as busy as ever too. poor Hawks, who never wanted to be a hero to begin with, spent New Year’s Eve undercover trying to drown his sorrows in sugary coffee. of course, Jeanist is spending his New Year’s either in hiding or dead, so.)

anyways so he’s bidding his mom goodbye and getting onto a bus, and he’s all bundled up in a scarf but can’t be assed to wear a jacket, apparently. whatever Deku

AHHHH WHAT IS THIS NOW

AND OH MY GOD LOOK WHERE HE IS

THE LEAGUE OF PLIFF’S HEADQUARTERS AT THE OL’ OVERLOOK HOTEL. watch out for the elevators. Toga probably really likes them though

“where did you run off to number 2” um, he’s still a top ranked pro hero? what, do they just expect him to never do his job ever again? even if they think he’s on their side, they must realize that he needs to maintain his so-called cover

anyways, fucking Slidin’ Go is back, guys. when is someone going to punch this slippery bitch in the face

wow he’s seriously chewing Hawks out for flying off without permission. can someone please just deck this mouthbreather already

oh my god

this motherfucker really truly believes he is Hawks’s senpai. imagine having the same power as a fucking banana peel, and being so deluded you actually think you outrank a double agent of indispensable value, who also just so happens to be Dabi’s best friend, and oh yes, THE NUMBER TWO FUCKING HERO. I don’t even know where to begin with you, Slidin’ Go

oh snap but he’s immediately being called out on his BS lol this is great

twenty microdevices?? holy shit. that’s gonna make it really difficult for him to actually report back to the heroes

maybe if the PSC gives him twenty of their own little spy cams. then the only challenge is for him to try and remember which are which

lmao look at this little metaphorical drawing

isn’t this the Hyrule Castle level from Breath of the Wild

anyways don’t mind me, I’m just sitting here trying to figure out if there’s a double meaning to these two panels

is Skeptic just really bad at making small talk, or is there something here that I’m totally missing?? did he witness something during Hawks’s coffee run?

(ETA: this seriously reads to me as some kind of coded threat, but it makes no sense given the rest of the conversation. he goes on and on about how useful Hawks will be in helping them spy on the heroes, but then calls attention to him sneaking out to buy a single can of coffee. in conclusion I am probably overthinking this way too much, but it’s odd. maybe he really is just trying to be nice and coming off as weird and creepy.)

now we’re flashing back to Hawks’s last report to the PSC

if this is after he met up with Dabi then why does he still have the bag? WHEN WILL THIS STOP HAUNTING ME. I’M SO TIRED OF WAKING UP AT NIGHT IN A COLD SWEAT ONLY TO SEE HAWK’S BACKPACK STANDING THERE RIGHT NEXT TO MY BED, WATCHING

-- SDLKGHSLDKHFL

lmao this scared the shit out of me. Enji what the fuck

yesssss it’s mah boisssss

wow, he’s pretty weirdly enthused about the whole thing, huh? I expected him to bitch about it more. since Shouto basically offered his friends the gig all on his own without any consultation whatsoever. that’s called nepotism Shouto but it’s okay I forgive you

anyways. so are the Endeavor offices located in THE FUTURE. or what. is this Epcot

DKFJWELKFJL

LOL THAT’S MORE LIKE IT. FOR A MOMENT I THOUGHT WE HAD SLIPPED INTO SOME WEIRD ALTERNATE UNIVERSE

hahaha exactly

well I’m glad I’m not going crazy, at any rate. anyways though, Endeavor trying his best to be a good dad and caving in to his son’s ridiculous demands because he’s trying to make up for TWO DECADES OF BEING COMPLETE GARBAGE is pleasing to me as always. deal with it Endeav

HE SAID DEAL WITH IT!!

oh my god Katsuki is saying something holy shit, the next few panels will set the stage for what could be the sleeper hit character dynamic of the year. ghghkghhhhhh

( ⁰ o ⁰ )

oh my god

(ETA: Katsuki I have written whole essays about how perceptive you are and then you just. sob. now that he’s finally starting to ease up on the whole Angry Asshole thing, his inner dumbass is really shining through.)

YES HE IS AND THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO, YOUR BOURGEOIS SON HAS FALLEN IN WITH THIS CHURLISH ROUGHNECK FROM THE HOOD, DIE MAD ABOUT IT!!

lmaooo

that mental image omfg. HE WILL PUT UP WITH THIS SUFFERING IN ORDER TO GET CLOSER TO HIS GOAL. what a sacrifice. the pros outweighed the cons. it’s logic. I can’t, I

and Endeavor being so fucking mad that Shouto picked this asshole to be his new best friend sob. YOU CAN’T STOP THEIR BROMANCE IT IS UNFOLDING BEFORE YOUR VERY EYES

anyways I love everything and I’m all set for the mentoring to begin. bring it onnnn

so now Deku is being surprisingly earnest and thanking Endeavor for accepting them into his agency

and we’re getting our first glimpse of Deku’s Upgraded Feelings About Endeavor oooooh juicy

Deku is so good at seeing into people’s hearts. and so forgiving. we already knew he was -- the inciting event that led to the whole fucking series wouldn’t have even happened if he wasn’t -- but I’m honestly still so impressed every time I see it

(ETA: and also, this means that he still went and told him off during the sports festival even though he was scared of him. kid is the fucking role model to end all role models.)

also I’m already sensing that this chapter (and indeed, this entire arc) is going to prompt more Discourse up in the ol’ fandom. that’s going to be fun. anyways, I’ve already essayed more than once regarding Endeavor’s redemption arc, so I’m not going to spend too much time hashing out the same old points. but basically my stance is I’m fine with it. I think it’s good to show that people can change no matter how far they’ve gone down the wrong path. it may not be easy, but if they’re genuinely remorseful, and if the desire is there, then why not? I’m not gonna get up in arms because someone is trying to become a better person. the alternative is that they stay terrible, and that doesn’t help anyone

anyway, so now we’re flashing back to what appears to be a conversation with All Might, and oh my god

but you guys. listen. Katsuki is there, again. they’re not even discussing OFA this time and he’s still there! elbowed his way into this mentorship like the determined little shit he is, and now he’s not leaving and you all just have to deal with it. oh my god it’s everything I ever wanted, someone please pinch me is this real??

lol and now they are discussing OFA, but that’s okay. it’s only natural that would also be on the agenda

really, All Might?

you consider that “just fine”? that bloop? just as planned?? I know you love your son, but maybe consider raising the bar for him just a little bit. he is capable of so much more, and now of all times is not the time to go easy on him

and he’s still talking about the SIXQUIRKS as though unlocking more of them right now would be a bad thing. I really think this is the wrong approach. maybe I just want to see Deku go buck wild and fucking lose it though, idk

Katsuki has no patience for this either

“I don’t doubt it.” please Deku we’re not worthy of you and your wholesomeness. and he’s so sincere, too?? how does Kacchan continuously absorb all of this shameless admiration and affection day after day, week after week. how is he not humbled by it

anyways time to shut up about that though because All Might is now mentoring Bakugou directly and this requires my full fucking attention

yessss let the character development commence! I’m so excited ddhkshl

and now we’re back in the present and the conversation is taking a very interesting turn!

YES! HE DID! DO YOU REMEMBER? YOU WEREN’T REALLY PAYING ATTENTION BEFORE BECAUSE YOU WERE STILL IN ASSHOLE MODE. what do you have to say about it now?

...

mysterious

what

(ETA: “is he always like this?”)

lol what

hahaha. this arc is off to a fucking hysterical start

oh snap y’all look at this

100% chance Deku is right fucking behind him lol. probably they all are

YEP

BITCH, WHO THE FUCK DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DEALING WITH. YOU THOUGHT THESE WERE JUST ANY OLD INTERNS?? FUCK YOU, THESE ARE PREMIUM, CLUB-LEVEL, OCEAN VIEW INTERNS, YOU UNAPPRECIATIVE LOUT. YOU INGRATE

lol but he’s not missing a beat though, and he’s ordering them to stay behind and watch him oh shit. what is even going on

now we’re cutting to some fucking yogi bobbing around town in a lotus position screaming about a divine revelation he received from fucking space. okay

AHHH WHAT

HAWKS IS ALREADY GETTING IN ON THE ACTION, JESUS CHRIST. DOES THIS FUCKER EVER PUT ON THE BRAKES?? THIS ARC IS LIKE TWELVE DIFFERENT PLOTLINES INTERSECTING ALL AT ONCE AND I CAN BARELY KEEP UP. THIS SHIT IS A TRAINWRECK WAITING TO HAPPEN AND I’M STANDING HERE MESMERIZED

BUT!!!

cue Celine Dion’s “All by Myself” while I fall down dramatically nooooo. the lord giveth and he taketh away. YOU OPENED A DOOR AND CLOSED THE WINDOW YOU BASTARD sob why

well shit. and that means that Katsuki has only one chapter left to reveal his hero name, too. (ETA: keeping track of the important things here lol.) and somehow I don’t see that happening unless the focus of the next chapter takes a very dramatic shift, since we seem to be launching into full plot mode before any of us even have our seatbelts on. not that I’m complaining about that because sdkljk

anyways. see y’all in two weeks I guess. the My Plots Academia arc sure is off to a crazy fucking start

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bbbarneswrites · 6 years

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Bucharest Diaries | THE LIBRARY

Bucky Barnes x Reader*

Summary: Snapshots of Bucky’s life in Romania. In which he meets someone when he least expects to. Genre: Romance/fluff Rating: T Warnings: Swearings 1,568 words

Notes: OKAY. I’ve been thinking about expanding this whole Bucky in Romania thing and I don’t know what happened today that this came out. It’s really corny though, LMAO. Any Romanian readers out here willing to help a girl out with some info, hmu! The poem down there is originally titled Poveste Sentimentală and both it and the book are written by Nichita Stănescu. Guess that’s it! Happy reading! <3

Tied to The Apartment Chronicles and Two Sides!

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Life in Romania is quiet. Dull. Repetitive, at times.

But even so, Bucky doesn’t complain about it. After the shitshow that his life has been, he’s thankful to be just another face in the crowd, just another body to bump against in the street. Despite the blood stained past, he’s content in rebuilding his life as just another random person.

(As random as he can be, that is. Somewhere deep down, Bucky knows this is likely to not last).

Getting settled in Bucharest had been fairly easy for someone like him.

He gets a job. Heavy manual labor, perfect and low-key, no paperwork needed but with fair pay. He gets an apartment. Small and old in a communist era apartment building but just enough for someone like him. No neighbors or tenants.

And then, with time – Bucky builds a routine.

Sometimes he works during the day. Sometimes at night. Sometimes he gets days off. The free nights are mostly meant for his journals. Re-reading them is a good pastime and it often sparkles his supressed memories. In the free mornings, he likes to sleep-in. To feel the softness of his blanket, watch the sun slip through the newspapers covering the windows of his place.

But It’s different when he’s got the whole day.

He can go to the market that stays two blocks away, visit touristic points that aren’t too crowded, walk around the Old Town and hide in the mass of people.

Or like today, pick a book in one of the local libraries.

Trying to look as inconspicuous as someone like him can be – because he might not be an assassin anymore but he still has a figure – Bucky walks from corridor to corridor, eyes silently scanning every book’s spines.

As he reaches the poetry section, he stops by a title. O viziune a sentimentelor. Though he normally wouldn’t go for a poetry book, the name catches his attention like no other did so far.

His fingers reach out for the cream colored book and just when he’s about to pull it out–

“That’s one of the best Romanian books. Ever.”

Bucky can’t help but freeze at the sudden appearance, hand tightly closed around the book, too startled at not hearing the steps after him.

You don’t seem to notice though, your input falling unasnwered in the empty corridor for a few moments as your attention diverges for a row of books in the opposite shelf, your hands trailing through the dust until finally picking up a bright red one.

The soft, whispered ‘a-ha!’ you let out is enough for Bucky to turn around.

Eyes trailing from your feet and up, he stops midway through it. It’s creepy and it might make you uncomfortable. He knows he doesn’t look like the friendliest of men. Between the white sneakers, lace trimmed shorts and white top that flashed a silver of your skin, Bucky doesn’t look up to your face.

Until you speak up again.

“It took me two weeks to read this book.” You mention to the book in his hands with your own, an amused smile forming on your lips as you roll your eyes. “The Romanian was a bitch to crack through.”

Bucky doesn’t say anything – feeling suddenly torn about striking a conversation or posing as an uneducated son of a bitch.

You don’t mind the brief silence, taking the time to watch him.

Even though the summer is just a few weeks away, he wears a heavy, maroon jacket. You know the gray top underneath is long-sleeved too. Black cap and black glove and jeans, brown hair brushing against the light stubble of his jaw. He’s tall and his broad shoulders are nothing but imposing.

If by chance you’d met him after a night-out in Old Town with your friends, you’d switch for the other sidewalk.

Right now, he looks somehow familiar. Despite everything, he manages to look soft as he finally talks to you.

“My Romanian is rusty.” He says, lips pursing for a small moment as he shrugs and clears his throat, blue eyes settling on you again. “It will be good practice.”

At the realization he speaks English too, you smile. And Bucky swears it lights up your face, the gloss of your lipstick looking more appearent as you do.

In another time of this life, he knows exactly what his old self would do. For the first time in months, he wishes to be like him again – easy with words and blessed with natural charm. To be the guy a pretty girl would give the time of her day.

He’s on the run but he’s not blind. He knows you’re pretty.

(Even more when you bite your lip. Not that he should be noticing all that).

“Then you should have this one.” You shake the book in your hand, cheeks warming up when his gaze lifts from your lips to your eyes again. “For practice.”

You hand him the bright red covered book and Bucky reads in worn golden letters. Poezii by one Mihail Eminescu.

When he looks up again, you have a smirk playing on your lips, fingers pulling another book from the shelf. A green one with similar golden letters. He can’t read the title, not even when you hold it against your chest and start walking backwards and out of the poetry section.

“This one is yours.” Bucky retorts, two books fitting easily between his metal fingers, lips quirking in an unexpected side smile. “I don’t mind waiting one more week.”

The words feel odd at the tip of his tongue – somehow flirty, almost feeling like an invitation, a plead.

And just before you turn around to leave–

“I don’t mind it either.” You tip your head to one side and raise your free hand, pressing a single finger to your smiling lips. “One week.”

An invitation that you take it.

One week that turns into two and then turns into three and soon it’s a month (and a half).

You become friends.

Bucky learns a lot about you in the short period.

He knows you’re an interchange student that switched the last year of your graduation to try your luck somewhere else. He knows you’ve been reading Romanian novels to improve your language skills because you’re terrible at it. He knows you like fashion and he always takes note on your clothes.

He watches – it’s a natural trait of the soldier – and he learns a lot about you in the short period.

Quirks, likes and dislikes, moods.

Bucky draws a line at friendship but it’s hard to ignore the feeling flaring in his chest everytime you smile around him.

You never ask anything about him. As far as it goes, he’s just an American man trying life in different country. Bucky guesses you might think he’s a veteran, a regular soldier with a backstory similar to many men that come back from war.

(He almost wants to be suspicious at your disinterest. But it’s you so he doesn’t).

His routine is a little less dull now. His days off are spent in the library and each time he comes back home with a new novel to read, often Romanian authors you’ve heard in your classes.

Sometimes his late mornings are replaced for early meetings, like today, as he watches you switch from tab to tab in your laptop, sitting in a study desk at the back of the room with books and papers all around you.

And between watching every little detail from you – to the little flowers in your pants to the glitter of your nails, Bucky frowns in confusion when you smile softly at the screen.

“Look at this poem.” You say quietly, turning the laptop screen to his direction with a knowing smile, your shoulder brushing against his as you rest back on the chair. “Nichita Stănescu.”

As he leans closer, words in Romanian come to him as easily as if it’s in English.

Then we met more often. I stood at one side of the hour, you at the other, like two handles of an amphora. Only the words flew between us, back and forth. You could almost see their swirling, and suddenly, I would lower a knee, and touch my elbow to the ground to look at the grass, bent by the falling of some word, as though by the paw of a lion in flight. The words spun between us, back and forth, and the more I loved you, the more they continued, this whirl almost seen, the structure of matter, the beginnings of things.

Ignoring his ridiculously fast beating heart, and how much the poem speaks to both of you, Bucky turns his head to you–

Already looking at him, with your lips miserable inches away from his own. And he doesn’t pull back. Maybe because he’s too startled. Or maybe because he simply doesn’t want to.

“It’s beautiful.”

You sigh and it falls right into his mouth. Bucky recognizes the poem from the book he got when he met you and he knows what it means, how it fits what you have, if there’s something to think of. He pulls back anyway.

“It is.”

He doesn’t specify what but he knows you know by the way you look at him.

Bucky draws a line.

And he thinks everything will be fine – at least until the nightclub incident happens.

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