#White Chain either. Baby girl I am so sorry | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moldisgoodforyou · 3 years

Text

on my mom's grave

wordcount: 3.7k

warnings: n/a

______

“How drunk do you think we’re going to get tonight?” Sophie asked, tipping back the last of a lemon White Claw as the two of them got ready for the night in her room.

“Dunno. I’m not really feeling it tonight.”

She paused, glancing back at him. “Do you not want to go?”

He shook his head and took the can from her, disappointed to realize there was nothing left. “No, no, it’s fine. I’m cool. Probably just won’t drink.”

“Is this about the phone call with your dad earlier?”

Rafe sighed, gritting his teeth. “It’s not - I’m fine, Soph.”

She crossed her arms and eyed him over, trying to get a read on his body language. “You’re sure.”

“I’m sure.” After Rafe tugged his shirt over his head, ready much faster than Sophie, he paced around the room for a few seconds before speaking up. "Hey, so...Sarah's getting presented at the annual deb ball in spring."

Sophie seemed unbothered, turning her back to him as she wrestled her way into a crop top to get ready for the night. "Those are still a thing? Cool, so you're going home for it?" She paused, glancing over at him in his polo. "Undo another button."

He did so, then rocked back on his heels with his hands in his pockets, trying to figure out what to say next.

She slowly turned back to him, realizing he was still tense across his shoulders. "What?"

Rafe rubbed the back of his neck, a tell-tale sign he was nervous and Sophie wasn't going to like what he was about to say. "Yeah...my dad wanted you to come home for it too."

"What? Ward? Why?"

"He, kinda, uh, wants you to be presented too?"

She just laughed, turning back to the mirror with her brow furrowed in slight concentration as she applied another coat of mascara. "Okay. Sure." But when he didn't elaborate, she turned back to him again, lips pursed. "Cameron. Tell me you told him no."

"...I didn't not not tell him no."

"Rafe."

He cracked under her stare. "I'm sorry, okay! Look, it's easy, all you have to do is throw on a pretty white dress and gloves -"

"A dress that costs thousands of dollars -"

"Hundreds, but - I'll cover you, obviously -"

"No." She turned back to the mirror, shaking her head. "Fuck no. I'm not going."

"Sophie." He nearly begged, stepping closer and running his hand through his hair. "Baby. C'mon."

"Don't call me that. No. I don’t fit into that part of your world.”

"Not even for me?" He pleaded, giving her a half-hearted grin. He ignored her last sentence, knowing any argument he had for her point would be dismissed in two seconds. "I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't important, you know that."

She turned back to him with crossed arms, fixing him with a glare. "Do I know that?"

"Soph."

"Don't, Rafe." She warned, holding one hand out, but he stepped closer anyways.

"Angel. Please. For me." He forced a smile, tried cracking a joke. "I really don't want to have to call him up and get read the riot act."

She furrowed her brow and Rafe reached out and smoothed out the lines in between her eyebrows before he could stop himself, making her soften just a little. "If I were to say yes. What would I have to do?"

"Just wear the dress, attend a dinner, party the night before and party that night." He paused, thinking. "And stay at my house for the weekend. Be civil to my dad.” At her eyeroll, he fixed her with a more serious gaze. “Meet my grandparents. Hang with my sisters. C'mon, Wheezie adores you."

"You're lying."

"I'm not. She thinks you're cool. Sarah too, but she’s less likely to admit it." He kissed her forehead, hands going to her waist. "Please?"

"It's that important?"

"I swear. On my mom's grave."

Sophie frowned immediately, reaching up to fix his hair. "That's not necessary."

"You'll do it?"

"...Yes." When he made a small fist pump, she fixed him with a glare. "Only because I love you."

“I'll go down on you every night for the next two weeks -”

She rolled her eyes at his promise, shoving lightly at his chest. "You basically already do that anyways, Rafe -”

"Okay, fine, I'll tie you up, something, anything, god, thank you, Soph. You don't know how big of a favor this is. I mean it." He sighed in relief, the tension draining from his body.

She ignored him, turning back to the mirror to apply lip gloss, carefully smearing the wand across her lips. “Why does he want me to do this? I don’t understand.”

“Is that the sticky stuff? I hate that stuff, it gets all over me when we’re kissing -” He started, then quickly shut his mouth as she flipped him off without looking. “Uh, ‘to integrate you into our society.’ Direct quote.”

“Oh god.” She groaned, setting the lip gloss aside after applying it, then started searching through her jewelry case. “So I’m gonna have to be on my best kook behavior?”

He snorted. “Sophie Flint, a kook. Not likely.”

“Watch it.” She pointed a warning finger in his face. “You don’t see anything weird with this? Your dad hates me.”

“He doesn’t hate you.”

“Rose does.”

“That’s not true either.”

Sophie raised her eyebrows, challenging him.

He shrugged, relenting with a sigh. “You’re not her favorite person, no, but neither am I.”

“You think this was more her idea? For Sarah to do it too?”

“Nah, actually, pretty sure it was my grandparents’ idea. Probably Granddad. My mom went through all this, so…”

She turned her back to him and gathered her hair, offering the clasp of her gold chain to him. “Your mom was a debutante?” She questioned with interest.

_______

Rafe rarely ever talked about his mom - Sophie had only found out how she died from a newspaper article in the online archives, and hadn’t wanted to bring it up since. All she knew was that Mrs. Cameron had passed away in a car accident when Rafe was fourteen.

Both Sophie and Rafe’s schools shared a building, despite them going to private academies, and overlapped for certain advanced placement classes. In freshman year, they were together for AP chemistry, with Sophie sitting proudly at the front of the class while Rafe sat in the back with a group of his friends, often cracking jokes at inappropriate times or throwing wads of paper at each other. Freshman year Sophie was the epitome of stuck-up - she resorted to insults instead of making friends and kept to herself, terrified someone might find out that she was on scholarship and wasn’t truly meant to be there.

The day after the car accident, Rafe was unusually quiet. Sophie hadn’t heard the news yet, it was barely second period and she wasn’t looped into the trail of gossip like the rest of the girls at Greenville. They were partnered for an experiment that day - Rafe had groaned when he heard Sophie’s name after his from the teacher, and Sophie barely suppressed a roll of her eyes. She took charge right away, getting all the supplies and set up their work station without even addressing him. After a few minutes, she slid the small glass of solution to Rafe, raising her eyebrows. “You can do the work too, you know.”

He was completely spaced out, only glancing up when she said something. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

Sophie rolled her eyes, lifting a beaker and extending it to him. “Yeah. I know. Just drop in 10 milliliters of the solution, it’s not hard.”

Rafe sighed as he rested his elbows on the edge of the table, rubbing his temples. “Look, can you just do it?”

She finally took note of the dark circles under his eyes, the way his shoulders were slumped, but misinterpreted it all. She smirked, taking on a taunting tone. “What, you’re still drunk from last night or something?”

He gritted his jaw, his entire body growing tense, and tugged at the collar of his polo. “Fuck off, Flint. Not in the mood today.”

She recoiled immediately, setting the beaker down with a little too much force. “Don’t be an asshole.”

“Don’t be a fucking bitch.” He spit back, standing abruptly. She winced as the stool squeaked across the floor, drawing everyone’s attention - as if they hadn’t had it already. Kelce stepped over and went to grab Rafe’s arm, possibly pull him away, but Rafe just wrenched his arm out of his grip. “I’m fine.” He growled, storming out of the classroom without looking back.

After a few moments of stunned silence, with Sophie on the verge of shocked tears, their teacher cleared her throat and redirected everyone’s attention, pointing one of the girls over to join Sophie instead. Molly made her way over, occupying Rafe’s seat in the space across from her. “Poor Rafe,” she murmured.

Sophie frowned, pulling her jacket tighter across her chest like a shield of armor. “Poor Rafe? What?”

Molly nodded, lowering her voice a little. “Yeah, you didn’t hear? I’m surprised he’s at school, honestly.”

“I didn’t...what happened?”

“Oh.” Molly frowned. “Um. You know that winding road, the one that goes downhill toward the ballet studio?”

Sophie didn’t, she didn’t even have a clue - the ballet studio was on the entire opposite side of the island from where she lived, the height of Figure 8, and she hadn’t ever had a reason to even venture that way. “Yeah? What does that have to do with Rafe?”

“Um, well, it was pouring last night, and his mom was driving down that road. I heard she lost control of the car and wrecked it. There was, like, a drunk driver that swerved into her lane, but she tried to avoid him and hit a tree.” Molly told her, careful on the details.

“I’m pretty sure the Camerons can replace a car.” Sophie replied, not wanting Molly to confirm where she thought she was going with the story. She dug her nails into the skin of her thigh anyways, feeling anxiety bubble up in her chest.

Molly shook her head, slowly. “Mrs. Cameron died, Sophie.”

Her heart dropped and she bit the inside of her cheek, hard. “Oh.”

“Yeah. I’m surprised you didn’t hear the sirens last night, I saw like eight police cars last night headed toward his house. I heard Sarah was in the car too, I think -”

“Is Sarah okay?” She couldn’t concentrate on anything but her ears ringing, her heart pounding in her chest.

“Oh, yeah, I think so. But god, how awful, right? The funeral is next weekend, Ward Cameron told my dad this morning. Is your family going?”

“Um...I don’t know.” Sophie glanced toward the door, hoping to god he would come back through the door and Molly would confess that it was all a joke, that she hadn’t just started something with Rafe on that day of all days.

________

Rafe nodded. “Yeah. ‘Course she was. I think she really enjoyed it, actually, she’d always tell Sarah when she was little about how pretty she would look in the dress, how important it was to learn the right etiquette and -” He cut himself off, realizing he was sharing too much, and deftly fastened the clasp before pressing a kiss to the top of her head, letting her step away. “All that.”

“Huh.”

He smiled to himself, thinking about how his mom would let little Sarah play dress up in her old ballgown with gloves that went up to her armpits, wobbling around in high heels twice the size of her feet. His mom would tell Rafe he’d have to watch out for Sarah with her escort, keep him in line, and that when he was in college he’d be presenting a girl as well. But he was nine and didn’t think of girls in that way quite yet, so he always scowled and left the room.

“It’s kind of cool, I think. The tradition of it all.”

“The ball? Have you been?” She caught his eye in the mirror as she adjusted her top, not wanting to push for too much information before he’d shut down altogether.

“No...I was gonna present Brooklyn at the one here in Columbus, sophomore year’s normally when the girl gets presented, but. Yeah. No, I meant, it’s kind of cool that you’ll be doing something my mom did.” He rubbed the back of his neck, meeting her gaze for a moment then looked away.

“Yeah?”

“She would have liked you. I know it.”

Sophie perked up a little, cocking her head. “You really mean it?”

“Yeah. She would have liked that you have an attitude with me.” He grinned when she turned back around and took his hand, tugging him over to sit on the bed next to her. “She was always saying I needed to find someone to match my energy, keep me in check. I wish she could have met you.”

“I did meet her. Once.”

He perked up, cocking his head. “You did?”

“Yeah, I served her when I was working at the restaurant at the country club once, I was only fourteen. I remember she made some comment about me being too young to work and I told her I liked it. Then she asked my name, and I remember she seemed like she knew already when I told her.” Sophie nodded. “She was really nice, left way too big of a tip and wrote my name on the bill. I always thought that was funny.”

Of course she knew, Rafe thought as he smiled to himself. She knew, because Rafe had come home and complained about a girl getting on his nerves every single week since seventh grade. She knew, when the complaints turned to “why won’t just be nice to me” and his mom had quipped that Sophie probably liked him - he had scoffed and walked away. She knew, because his mom had come home from the country club and told him Sophie Flint was a much nicer girl than Rafe painted her to be, and Rafe had immediately turned bright red and been embarrassed that his mom sought her out.

“I like that.” She leaned into him, taking his hand to play with his rings. “Will your grandparents be there? At the ball?”

“Oh, yeah. They sit on the board, I’m pretty sure, it’s this gigantic charity event. I’ll introduce you, but don’t worry, they’re chill. Nothing like my dad.” He adjusted himself so she was comfortable, then pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

She chewed on the inside of her lip, treading carefully. “I thought your dad grew up on the Cut.”

“He did. But my mom, no way. Kook through and through. That’s, uh, where a lot of my trust is from. After she died, um. She wanted to be sure me and Sarah were set.” He shrugged, ears turning red as he felt his throat getting tight.

Sophie frowned, feeling him closing off, and leaned closer to hug him, arms wrapped tight around his waist. “You know you can talk to me about this stuff whenever, Rafe? I’d like to hear more about your mom. She sounds like an amazing woman.”

“She was.” He nodded, settling his arms around her shoulders and rested his chin on the top of her head, closing his eyes for a moment. “Thanks, Soph. This is a really big deal to me, that you’ll go. I know it’s not your scene.”

“Love you.” She murmured. “You’d better buy me a pretty dress.”

He laughed, leaning back just enough to tip up her chin with one finger and kiss her. “You’ll be the best looking one there. I swear.”

“Oh, I already knew that.”

“Okay, okay, big head -”

She swatted his arm, laughing as she ducked out from under him. “Watch it, or I won’t go -”

“I was kidding!” He exclaimed, wrestling with her for a moment before grabbing both her hands and pinning them above her head.

Sophie sucked in a breath, caught off guard. “We are going to be late.”

“We’re already late.” He pointed out, taking a moment to realize the lack of innocence in the position, then slowly smirked. “We could be later. They’re not gonna miss us.”

“Rafe.”

“Sophie.”

“No.”

“You’re positive?”

She just gave him a look, staring him dead in the eyes and willing herself not to react when he leaned down with a grin and kissed the bridge of her nose.

“Please?”

“Fine. The ball or sex right now. You choose.” She raised her eyebrows, arching her back a little on purpose, pressing her hips up against his.

“That’s not fair.” He frowned, immediately shifting his hips away and moving so both his knees were on either side of her instead. “This is blackmail.”

“Your choice.” She reminded him, biting her lip for good measure.

He faltered, sitting back on her thighs and letting go of her wrists. “Soph, it’s - it’s for my mom. I swear. Not for my dad, Rose, anyone else.”

Sophie dropped the teasing act right away, propping herself up on her elbows. “Right, right, sorry. I won’t push it.”

“It’s alright.” He climbed off her, standing, and offered his hands. “Five bucks James makes some joke about us being late because we were having sex.”

“I’m not taking you up on that.” She rolled her eyes, accepting his hand and pulled him into a hug. “Love you long time, Cameron.”

He smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Love you too, favorite girl.”

“What do the dresses look like?”

“Uh...white?” Rafe shrugged, tugging on her hand to get her to follow him downstairs. “I dunno. When we go home for Thanksgiving I’ll book you an appointment to get fitted, I think it’s at some bridal shop on the mainland.”

“Sounds expensive.” She muttered, shaking her head.

“It’s…yeah. It’s not cheap.” He admitted, then shrugged as she followed him out the door, starting their walk toward the bars. “I’ll take care of it though. All of it. By the way, have you booked your flight home for Thanksgiving yet?”

“Um...no. I was going to look this week, it’s probably too late now though.”

“Hm.”

“Hm? Why, are you going home?”

Rafe nodded, not looking her in the eye. “Taking the plane.”

“Oh. Of course.”

“The plane...that no one else will be on...and it’s kinda ridiculous for you to waste money and carbon emissions on a separate flight…” He tried convincing her, a small smile playing on his lips as she rolled her eyes.

“You need to learn how carbon emissions work if you’re going to use that as an argument with me.”

“So that’s a no to sex on the plane?”

Sophie stopped in her tracks, confused. “That wasn’t - Rafe, what?”

“You, me, alone on the plane. Sorry, was I not clear enough?”

“I didn’t even say yes -”

“Oh, so you’re going to leave me all by myself on our one-year anniversary -”

She raised her eyebrows, challenging him. “When’s our anniversary, Rafe?”

He raised his back, stopping on the sidewalk to face her. “On my terms or yours? Because if we’re going with mine, it’s Halloween -”

“No, I had to ask you to be my boyfriend, it’s November 18th -”

“That is such an arbitrary thing, Sophie -”

“Hey! Stop stealing my vocabulary.” She interjected, pushing at his chest. “It’s the 18th, because I had to ask you out.”

“Okay. Whatever story makes you happy.” He shrugged, laughing when she shoved at him again. “Come on the plane with me.”

“...Fine. Only because I don’t want to miss our class reunion party on Wednesday night, I’m pretty sure some people still don’t believe we’re together.”

Rafe laughed loud at that, looping his arm around her shoulders and started walking again. “Pretty sure Topper still thinks it’s all an elaborate lie.”

“Does he know that we nearly hooked up in his room last winter break?”

“No.” He grinned. “Are you forgetting that you had to sprint into his bathroom right when I was about to kiss you because of some tequila thing you had?”

She tilted her head slightly. “You’re remembering wrong. That was sophomore year, before we were dating, I barely drank last year...you almost kissed me?”

“What? No, I think...remember, we were arguing over something, then you whispered in my ear to go up to his room and left. I went up a couple minutes later.” He shook his head. “I wasn’t going to make a move, Brooklyn and I were together then.”

Sophie scowled at the mention of Brooklyn. “I must have been hammered, I don’t remember any of this.”

“You wanted me.” He smirked, trailing his fingers along her collarbone. “One might say desperate.”

“No, no. All I remember is waking up in Topper’s bed feeling like shit, I had some crewneck on from your academy.” She ignored the blush creeping up her neck.

“How do you think you got there and got the sweatshirt?” He frowned. “I took care of you, Sophie. You really don’t remember?”

“I think I blacked out.” She confessed, shaking her head. “You took care of me?”

“Of course I did. Plus, I thought I was about to get some, I would have done anything for you.” He grinned, laughing when she shoved his shoulder. “Really thought that was the night I’d finally win you over.”

“Yeah, well, you can blame Sarah for her heavy pour that night.” She shook her head, smiling fondly. “I really wish I remembered that.”

“I wish you remembered too. Maybe you would have given me a chance before then instead of setting me up with Julia.”

“I - no! She asked to be set up with you, no, I did not instigate that at all.” She defended herself straightaway, cheeks flushing pink. “She said if I wasn’t going to make a move, then she was going to.”

“Sure. Whatever you believe.” He teased, pressing a kiss to the top of her head as they arrived at the bar. “Hey, Soph.”

She rolled her eyes, going to get in the winding line outside until he tugged her wrist back, pulling her to his chest. “What?”

“Thank you. I mean it.”

Sophie softened, smiling as she rose up on her toes to kiss him. “Of course, baby. I’ve got your back.”

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breanime · 3 years

Text

Five Senses: Sight (with Bonus Boy)

Billy Russo: You were the first thing Billy saw in his dreams overseas. No matter what horrors he had seen or committed that day, no matter how much blood was on his hands when he laid down to rest, no matter the dirt under his nails or the sweat on his skin, every night, he dreamt of you. And in his dreams, he was cleansed by you. In his dreams, Billy would see your bright eyes and that smile, that special smile you had for him and him alone, and no matter what atrocities he had seen or done, that smile would heal him. That smile, your smile, would warm him down to his bones--and that wasn’t a metaphor, it was true. Huddled in a flimsy tent with Frank and 12 other men, a freezing rain pouring down all around, nothing but a thin blanket and his fatigues to keep him covered, but Billy was warm. When he saw you, he was engulfed by your warmth, by your smile, by your love. Just the sight of you, dream or not, was enough to put Billy at easy, no matter where he was in the world. He’d memorized every part of you, and he pictured you, inch by glorious inch, when he needed your comfort. It wasn’t as good as being with you, of course, but it was a saving grace for him, and Billy was not a man who easily settled into being saved...unless his hero was you.

Logan Delos: Logan was a man of wealth and taste. He’d been born into his riches, and he’d become desensitized to many of the incredible things he’d seen in his time. He had seen sights that would leave an ordinary men speechless, had gone places that were normally closed off to public eyes. It didn’t faze him. Indescribable sights, things people would save up all their lives to see, seen and shrugged off within seconds by Logan. But the sight of you? Damn. You could drop him to his knees. Logan had just gotten off of his private Delos jet after spending a week lounging in the most decadent suite he could find in Abu Dhabi; the view had been described as “breathtaking”, but Logan hadn’t found himself having any difficult breathing as he looked out at the expansive city, drowned in orange by the sunset. But now, as Logan walked into your shared penthouse, he was breathless. You were laid out on the couch, the TV playing softly in the background, and you were fast asleep. It wasn’t an elegant sleep; you weren’t Scarlett O’Hara draped over a satin lounge chair, you were you, knocked out in the middle of the afternoon wearing one of his shirts. And you were, without a doubt, without exaggeration, the most exquisite thing he’d ever seen. Wordlessly, because he was speechless, Logan sat on the edge of the couch and reached out to you. Looking at you, your mouth slightly open, wearing his shirt, you arm splayed across your forehead, Logan felt himself melt. Truly, you were the most striking sight he had ever seen.

Jax Teller: Seeing Jax dressed all in orange, chains around his ankles, two armed guards on either side of him, should have made you sad. It should have made you realize that, as much as you loved Jax, he was a criminal, and moments like this were bound to happen again and again if you stayed with him. You should leave--now, while you still could. But when he sat across from you, and you looked into those blue eyes of his... You knew that you weren’t going anywhere. “Talked to my Mom earlier,” he said, settling into his seat, “she said my bail should be posted in a few days, and then I’ll be home... I’m sorry, darling, I know this isn’t what you signed up for--” “How much more does Gemma need for bail?” You asked, watching as his eyes widened. “Babe, you don’t have to--” “I’m gonna be your Old Lady some day,” you answered back, “I need to learn how to do this.” You watched as his smile spread, his eyes wrinkling. “You’re gonna be my Old Lady, huh?” He said back. You leaned forward, making sure he was looking right into your eyes. You could see a warmth in them when he looked at you, an affection there that was for you, and you only. “I love you, Jax, and I’m gonna spend the rest of my life with you. But in order to do that, we need to get you out of this place. So come on, tell me how much she needs to make your bail.” He chuckled, and leaned in as well, “You don’t realize how much I needed to see you...to hear you say that,” he reached out for your hand, and you looked down and smiled at the sight of his hand in yours, “You’re a sight for sore eyes, darlin’.”

Coco Cruz: The doctor said his eyes would heal, but it would be a while. And though he was a sniper, Coco wasn’t a patient man. You sat on the bed, watching him pace around in circles in your shared bedroom. “Coco,” you sighed. “What if my eyes never get better?” He asked, stopping and turning to you, the white patch over his injured eye wrinkled as he frowned. “Coco...” “What if I can never ride again? Or use a fucking gun? How am I gonna work?” “Coco...” He fell to his knees in front of the bed, and you reached out and caressed his face. His dark brown eye was watery with emotion, and you heart clenched at the pain you could see there. “What if I can’t see our baby?” He asked, his hand going to rest on your growing stomach. You felt tears spring to your eyes, but you held them back. “You will. Okay? The doctor said it can be treated, and it’ll take rehab and time, but you will see again. I promise you.” Coco nodded, leaning into you for a hug. You closed your eyes, wishing you could give him the gift of sight, wishing you could will him to heal faster. But you couldn’t. All you could do--all either of you could do--was wait. And wait you did. And the day your baby girl was born, the first thing she saw was Coco, his eyes filled with tears as he looked down at his newborn child. It had taken a lot of work, cost him so much time and pain, but it was all worth it when he could hold his baby girl in his arms and look into her eyes, his vision fully restored. It was worth the wait.

Angel Reyes: You and Angel had made your New Year’s resolutions together, and working out more had been at the top of the list. You’d both agreed that the two of you should exercise more, and it made sense to do it together and motivate one another, but now that you were here... You could see that it was a mistake. Watching a shirtless, sweaty Angel lift weights, his low grunts filling the air, was beyond distracting. It was erotic. He grinned at you, a dumbbells slung behind his gleaming shoulders. You wanted to lick the beads of sweat trailing down his tattoos. “You good, baby?” He teased, an eyebrow raised at you. You swallowed, your eyes unable to look away from the perfection that was Angel Reyes. “I--good. Yup. Good,” you said, watching the bulge in Angel’s shorts as he squatted down. “Mm, very well constructed sentence there,” he said, straightening up and placing the dumbbell on the rack. You stared at his ass as he turned around, and you felt your skin flush with the heat of desire. It should be illegal for one man to look so good. After all, this was a public place and here Angel was just being a fucking piece of art. “Babe, stop staring, you’re gonna make me blush,” he teased you, “Shh,” you dug into your pocket and pulled out your phone, “Don’t mind me. Keep working.” “Are you taking pictures of me?” “Maybe,” you answered, biting your lip as you snapped another picture, “Keep working out, this is good inspiration.” He laughed, doing as you said. By the end of your session, Angel had worked up quite a sweat, and you had amassed an impressive amount of sexy photos of your man. All in all, it was a good workout.

Miguel Galindo: There was nothing like the sight of Miguel in cartel mode. Every step, every glance, every twitch of his eyebrow turned you on. He stood behind his desk, both hands spread out over the papers and files that covered it, glaring at the men in the room. He was the very picture of power. You stood off to the die, summoned there to be a witness, your eyes fixated on your man. You watched the words spill from his mouth, you watched the men--powerful in their own right--visibly shrink as Miguel spoke. The topic of conversation wasn’t important to you; Miguel had all of your attention. You stared openly, your eyes going from his sinful mouth down to his large hands, watching them flex as he gestured over at the men. His eyes were hard, eyebrows furrowed as he showed his displeasure with his employees. Distantly, you heard their apologizes and his acceptance of them, but really, all you could do was drink in the sight that was your husband. He was in his element, as much as Miguel wanted to go legit, and as well suited to that world he was, he was a cartel man. It was in his blood. And it came naturally to him. You watched as he lifted his hand and pointed to the door; you could see the men scurry out from the corner of your eye, but your focus was on Miguel. He turned to you, a smirk growing on his kissable lips. “I can see what you’re thinking, mi amor,” he purred, “Why don’t you come over here and let me give you what you want?”

Nick Amaro: As soon as Nick saw you, he grabbed you. He held you tight, his eyes closing, visions of you hurt and afraid playing behind his eyelids. “I’m alright, Nick,” you assured him, whispering into the crook of his neck, “I’m alright...” He nodded, finally pulling back to have a look at you. There was blood on your face, and he reached out to wipe it, leaving a soft red smear on your cheeks. “Don’t ever do that again,” he huffed, his eyes boring into yours, “Never, okay?” “Nick,” you said carefully, running a hand through his hair, “you know I can’t promise that,” you watched his jaw clench, “if I’m the only thing between a perp and a victim, I’m going to stand in front f the victim, every time.” He closed his eyes again, trying not to see the truth in yours. “Nick,” you repeated his name until he opened his eyes again, “I’m fine. You had my back. Liv had my back. I’m safe, and so it that little girl.” You turned, taking his hand in yours. “Look,” you directed him gently. A few feet away, the little girl who’d been kidnapped was in the arms of her sobbing mother, safe and sound. The man who’d taken here was in the back of a bus, bleeding from the gunshot you’d given him. “We did that,” you told Nick, looking up at him, “Look at that girl. She’s the reason we do what we do. She’s the reason I can’t promise I won’t ever do this again.” He nodded, turning back to you and taking you in his arms. “I know,” he said, kissing your forehead, “Just... Next time, don’t leave my line of sight, okay? Can you at least do that?” You smiled, “I can do that.”

Johnny Tuturro: Johnny looked like a god, Apollo in the flesh. He was bathed in light, the rays of the sun shining on his brown skin, his smile wide and warm. You stood on the beach, Jakes on one side of you, Charlie on the other, and you didn’t even try to hide the fact that you were staring at Johnny. And really--who could blame you? He, Mike, and Briggs had just come to shore after catching a few waves, and Johnny was looking like a freaking dream. “Damn girl, stop drooling,” Briggs joked as he walked past you, taking Charlie’s hand and leading her away. Mike and Jakes laughed, following suit, and you watched, not at all concerned with the others, as Johnny approached you. “Wanna take a dip?” He asked. You shook your head, your hands immediately going to his chest, “Why are you like this?” “Like what?” “Like... this!” You stepped back, gesturing to his everything. “Look at you! You’re freaking glowing, you got the abs all out... Keep playing, and I’m gonna put a baby in you.” Johnny laughed, and the sight of him, skin glistening in the sunlight, water pooling in the deep crevices of his collarbones, had you clenching with desire. He leaned in close, his mouth right on the shell of your ear. “Since you like watching me so much, how ‘bout we go home, and we can go the bathroom, and you can watch me break you off in the reflection of the mirror, yeah?” You grabbed his hand, nearly running back to Graceland, eager to see what he had in store for you.

Rio: You blinked, trying to test to see if you were dreaming. “R-Rio...” You gasped out. He stood in front of you, dressed in all black, a smirk on his lips. “Hey mama.” You jumped out of bed, but stopped yourself from running to him. He was dead. Rhea said he was dead. There hadn’t been a funeral, but she said he was dead and now... “I know,” he said, anticipating your thoughts, “I know. But, just look at me. Look at me. I’m here.” You looked at him; he had a beard now, and a nose ring, but it was him. He was real. He was here. “What...?” “It’s a long story, and I’ll tell you everything,” he answered your unasked question, “really, I shouldn’t even be here, but... I had to see you, baby. I had to see you.” You rushed towards him, burying your face in his chest as he held you. It had been months since you’d seen Rio, but it felt like a lifetime. You hadn’t really registered, until this moment, how much you had missed seeing him: his soft lips, his shorn hair and low lidded eyes. He was speaking to you, whispering that he was home now, and you pulled back to look at him. He looked different, harder, and you could see a change in him. “What happened to you?” You asked, your voice coming out in a whisper. “Remember the housewife?” “With the big boobs?” He chuckled, shaking his head at you fondly. “Yeah. She put three slugs in me,” he explained, and you looked him over, imagining the bullet wounds that you knew were under those dark clothes. “I’m good, mama. But I’m pissed,” he leaned down and kissed you, and your eyes fluttered shut as his lips moved against yours, “so you and me are gonna get justice.”

Bonus Boy

Chris Zapata: Baseball had never been your favorite sport. You’d found it boring and tedious. And then you started dating Chris and suddenly, you were standing up in the stands every week, screaming and cheering as he played. You sighed dreamily, your chin in your hand as you watched Zap on the field. He wasn’t really do much of anything--actually, he (and Maz, and Barone, and Vinny) were all watching Murray throw a fit in the outfield. But God, did Chris look good. It was getting late, and the sun was setting, and it seemed like the very last rays of the day were clinging to Chris’ skin, placing a halo around him. You could see from your spot in the stands the sweat glistening on his skin, could see his eyes widen as Murray threw his bat at the score board, and you sighed again. You couldn’t even be sure if the team was winning or not (Murray’s tantrum suggested they were not), all you knew was that Chris looked like an angel. Your heart stopped in your chest when Chris’ eyes met yours, and you watched a smirk grow on his lips. He knew you were watching him. He knew you couldn’t look away. The sight of him like this--in his element--made you weak. You couldn’t wait for the game to be over so you could inspect your man at a much closer angle.

*******************************************************************************************Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think! And if you really enjoyed it and you can send in a tip here, I would greatly appreciate it!

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#bre's boys #bre's boys preference #billy russo x reader #logan delos x reader #jax teller x reader #coco cruz x reader #angel reyes x reader #miguel galindo x reader #nick amaro x reader #johnny tuturro x reader #rio x reader #chris zapata x reader

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thebadboyfanclub · 4 years

Text

You Can Do Better (Rio x Reader)

Requested by anon, i’ve posted this for the third time and tumblr is being a fucking asshole to the point were i’m thinking of quitting this since every week I get a new way of them hiding my works. Enjoy it while it lasts

T.W. mentioning of attempted rape

(Y/n) had been Micks neighbor for a few months before the incident happened, this absolute dumpster was the only thing she could afford at the time, fresh out of college, in a foreign country without any family, but she was hoping to moving quickly. However, when Mick was coming home, he heard her screams and cries for help from the bottom of the stairs, he had seen her once or twice, even baked him cookies when he first moved in, she was nice and a quiet neighbor.

He found (y/n) being held down by two men in masks and one of them try to rape her, she was begging and screaming, he almost acted on instict when he shot the guy in the back, the other tried to attack him and he also ended up with a bullet in between his eyes. (Y/n) thanked him and Mick had to stop her from calling the police. Instead they called Rio. He was met with two dead bodies, A girl in her torn pajamas shaking and crying and Mick trying to calm her down.

“Those motherfuckers”

Was all he said, it didn’t take a genius to figure out what had gone down, Rio was a criminal and balls deep in despicable things, yet he was proud to say he had never laid hands on a woman nor a child. He kneeled in front of her, took a good look at her eyes, her entire body shaking as she looked at him, you could sense the trauma she had been through.

Rio had heard of her when Mick told him about this little girl next door that baked him cookies as a welcoming gift, he recalled how his friend laughed when he mentioned that the girl asked him his opinion about the next tattoo she wanted to get. Now this happy light hearted girl was replaced because two men thought they are superior.

“Hi sweetheart, I understand this is hard, we will take care of everything alright? You trust us?”

“I had locked the door, I was sleeping”

“I know sweetheart, it wasn’t your fault. We’ll take care of you ok?”

“Thank you”

Since Mick had vouched for her and Rio had seen her at her worst they felt obligated to take her under their wings, maybe even help her earn a little more money, get a good car, pay her bills comfortably, that sort of stuff. Until one day she asked to do more, get initiated

“Mama this isn’t the playground, we ain’t playing cops and robbers”

“I know, but you said I am learning quickly, why not teach me more?”

“Why you wanna do this? All of a sudden you feel like being a gangster? You were shaking in your shoes a few months ago”

“I’m done being your little child Rio, I want to hold my own. I will do this with or without you”

Rio looked at her with a serious face. She was growing, becoming fearless, ruthless, he had seen it coming, she was picking up more slack, asking more questions, she wanted to prove herself.

“You’re threating me mama?”

“And what if I am?”

She quickly not only proved herself, she became one of his most valuable members, she was his secret weapon, nobody would suspect a young little hotel receptionist being linked to them. She worked twice as hard and smarter than most if not all his men, advised him wisely and was always cool, calm and collected, she worked best under pressure. Scared little (y/n) felt like had never even happened, she was his soldier now, she had Micks status and Mick couldn’t be more proud, he had a soft spot for her.

“Hey mister policeman, Have some room for another criminal?”

She joked as she leaned at the door of her car, waiting for the new little boy toy to get out of the police station. Now the normal question is why is (y/n) around a police man, there is a two part answer to that. Great lover and also great cover, she was his little thing, so nobody would dare blame you for any crime, the girl of the police man being a gangster? it sounded like a joke.

“Depends on what crime we are talking about miss”

“I can think of a few, we can put those handcuffs to use”

As he approached her she smiled and took off her sunglasses. She looked amazing in her blue loose ripped jeans and a simple oversized white t shirt, a chain necklace around her neck and some nice rings on her fingers as her hair fell in front of her breasts, wearing a pair of high heels to style it up.

How you doing gorgeous?”

“Oh you know, thriving and surviving. How about you, I thought you had a day off today”

“Yes but I got assigned to a new case”

“Ohhhh should I be concerned? any criminal on the loose?”

“Not really, we are trying to find a link for this Rio guy”

Jackpot, this couldn’t have gone better. She tried to contain her smile and leaned back on the door, acting like nothing had happened.

“Oh I think you’ve mentioned him before, what did he do now?”

“Lots of things but motherfucker always slips away, chief thinks he has someone on the inside”

“Like a dirty cop?”

“Yes, so he wants me to look into it”

“Look at you, leading a case... Sexy”

The guy smiled at her, he was completely fooled and hooked. She hadn’t told anyone about her plan of seducing him to get information, she didn’t need to up until this point, yet what she did not calculate was Rio seeing her outside the police station talking to a fucking cop, the outmost enemy and being all close and cozy to him, acting all buddy buddy in broad daylight.

“I’m glad you like it miss”

“There’s a lot of things I like about you baby, anyway I have to go, I have a shift to clock in to”

“I’ll see ya later?”

“Maybe. Bye handsome”

At that (Y/n) got in her car and drove away. Rio was pissed, the girl he trusted and the girl he wanted was flirting with a policeman, how could she? He trusted her, taught her everything he knew, gave her everything with generosity and she was becoming a cops whore? Of course it wasn’t just about flirting with a cop, it was flirting with someone that wasn’t him.(Y/n) was a charming woman, he found her extremely attractive and she was even better now with the confidence she had gained over time, she was a woman he craved, the woman he wanted to have on his side, a queen that could hold the keys to his kingdom. Now all this was slowly shattering, no there had to be an explanation and he couldn’t wait to hear it.

Of course he could not just appear at her workplace, she was gracious enough to arrange a room for him incognito when Beth shot him, yet they had to act like strangers so all he could do was wait for her.

“Hey boss, sorry I’m late I had to take care of a few things”

“Like that cop friend of yours?”

She had barely closed the door of his office before he blurred it out, he had this whole plan of making her confess by herself, except when he saw her he lost control. Betrayal and confusion clouded his mind, as she stood there a bit dumbfounded for a quick moment before smirking at him.

“Stalking much?”

“I like to make sure my people are in line”

“Really? Is that why Beth is still walking around unharmed?”

He knew how much that had shook her up, (Y/n) took care of him almost as good as the doctor, she stayed with him until he fell asleep, helped him renew his bandages and anything else he needed, even though she never said it he was aware she was extremely concerned for him and he was grateful for her care, which made it even more complicated considering the fact that he was slowly becoming more addicted to her, needing and wanting more than she gave him.

“Let’s just cut to the shit, what were you doing there?”

“Talking”

“Talking? to a cop? what is this (y/n) huh?”

She sat in the chair calmly, any normal person would have either shit their pants or told him what they were planning right away. (Y/n) on the other hand found this amusing, she had grown tired of him doing things without considering the danger he was putting himself, especially when it came to Beth and the others, if it was anyone else they would have been six feet under the second Rio opened his eyes, now he had cut them in once again and had almost gotten Boss status.

“Yes, one of your little ladies is married to a cop, what’s the issue with me talking then?”

“Last time I check you ain’t never flapped your gums to a fed”

“I don’t flap my gums Rio, I have conversations and if you really want to know he is my new boy toy. He also was the one that told me about your case, how the fuck do you think I got the information? By holding interviews?”

Rio didn’t know how to feel, she was still working for him, had used her privilege to get information for him that had saved him a lot of money, however the whole “boy toy” thing did not sit well, she liked him, she gave him her time and even though she was stringing him along, she still had him in her life.

“You did what you were supposed to do and you got rewarded, so why you still talking to him”

“Don’t start the bullshit Rio, I’m not your daughter nor your girl so why do you care who am i fucking with”

“Where’s your fucking respect to your boss (y/n)?”

“Respect? how about where’s the respect for yourself? You let the suburban moms do whatever the fuck they are doing and I’m getting shit for having sex and getting you info from the feds?”

He was pushing it, he knew that and he didn’t care, it was time to reveal his cards and she was going to do the same, whether she liked it or not. Rio leaned back on his chair, his hand rubbing his chin as he looked at her, sitting there and looking right back at him, she wasn’t lying he knew that, she had a point for the suburban moms and she had expressed her disapproval for the little thing that was going on between him and Beth. What he did not understand was if she didn’t like it cause she was a tad bit jealous or because it fucked with their money and reputation?

“You are something else you know that?”

“Yet you still question my methods, if I remember correctly I wasn’t the one that planted three bullets in you”

“You are scared of losing me mama?”

She did not respond, she just turned and looked away from him. Of course (y/n) had picked up his little flirty remarks from time to time, she would be lying to herself if she didn’t admit she had thought of how he would be in bed, how his embrace would feel, his raspy voice was enough to start fantasies enough to make a book.

“Let’s say I am, what are you scared of Rio? Why do you care who I’m sleeping with?”

“He is a cop”

“A handsome cop, I’m sure you noticed how nicely that uniform was on him, let me tell you it’s even better when he sweats”

“I don’t need to hear it”

“Why? Does it bother you Christopher?”

She raised herself from the seat and placed her hands on the desk, leaning closer to him and making her breasts show just enough as her back curved in a perfect little S, she focused in his eyes as her tongue went over her upper lip. Rio got closer to her, his hand reached her face, as he held on to the side of her head and his thumb went over the lower lip.

“You’re not for him mama”

“Why not?”

“A woman like you is not for no goody two shoes, you can do better”

“Really? like who?”

They could feel each others breaths, their faces were almost touching as they both spoke in whispers, this conversation was not meant for no one else, they didn’t even have to speak as their body language was saying everything it needed to be said. She felt her breath become more swallow, his scent was getting her a tad bit flustered and so was hers to him.

He wanted to take her right here and then, just the idea of her naked body was enough to drive him wild, her hair was so soft he could only imagine them stuck on her face from the sweat, the most amazing part was her lips, soft and full that made his mind go wild with the need to feel them in his lips and his body, the doors to her moans.

“I can show you better than I can tell you”

“Let’s get it then boss”

#rio x reader #rio imagine #rio x you #rio x oc #good girls rio #good girls nbc #rio good girls #good girls imagine #nbc good girls #manny montana imagine #manny montana x reader #manny montana x you #manny montana #good girls x reader #good girls rio x reader #good girls rio nbc #rio

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99non-sequiturs · 2 years

Text

six(+) sentence sunday

*It’s been forever since I’ve posted anything from my super-angsty Rosenali WIP, so here’s a chunk that I grabbed from the middle. I’ve been at this one for two months and it is going slooooow, but I am hoping it will be done soon!*

About an hour before last call, Rosé tapped on Denali’s shoulder. “How about that dance?”

“Wanna go somewhere quieter and talk?” Denali suggested loudly over the ambient noise. Most of the women in the club were drunk, and between the music and the crowd, she could barely hear herself think.

“Sounds good,” Rosé smiled, grabbing Denali’s arm to tug her off the floor. She led her out the front door, and past the line of chain-smokers staring at their phone screens on the sidewalk. Under the warm light of the streetlamp on the corner, Denali could see things that she couldn’t possibly notice in a dark club: the feathery smudges where the other woman’s eyeliner was starting to run, the gleaming straightness of her teeth, the highlights in her hair where the blonde was shot through with honey and white-gold. Somehow, up-close, the minor imperfections made her even more intimidating in her gorgeousness.

“You seem nervous,” Rosé observed. She’d been looking at Denali too, Denali noticed too late. All of the sudden, she was self-conscious of the late hour, of the fact that she hadn’t checked her hair or makeup for a while.

“I’m sorry,” Denali replied automatically. God, how stupid.

“Don’t be sorry. You don’t have to be nervous, either. I don’t bite.” Rosé didn’t follow that one up with a clever remark, for which Denali was profoundly grateful. “So. Denali.” She sounded like she was testing out the flavor of her name in her mouth. “Tell me everything there is to know about you.”

“I’m pretty boring,” Denali demurred. “Like I told you, I just moved here.”

“Where from?”

“Umm, Alaska. You ever heard of Fairbanks?”

Rosé’s eyes widened slightly. “Okay, girl, that’s officially not boring. I’ve never met anyone from Alaska before. What was that like?”

Denali shrugged. “Cold, mostly. Definitely different from New York.”

“You aren’t giving me much to go on here, Denali.” Rosé pouted her lips, plush in their crimson gloss. “I’m starting to think that maybe you don’t like me.”

“No, that’s not true!” It came out louder than she intended, and Denali paused to modulate her voice. “Sorry. I, umm, do like you. I’m just not used to… this.”

“Getting to know someone new?” Rosé laughed. “Man, did you live in isolation up there in Alaska?”

“No, ahh.” Denali felt herself flush. “I mean, yes. It was pretty isolated. My high school graduating class had only fifty people. What I mean is… talking to beautiful girls.”

“Oh, you think I’m beautiful?” Rosé sounded somewhere between amused and flattered. “Feel free to go on.”

“I’ve never actually been with a girl,” Denali said. It was a bold confession, but something about Rosé’s candor and approachability inspired her to stop stumbling over herself and spit out something relevant. “I just came out before I moved. I’m bi. I hope that doesn’t bother you.”

“Bi girl from a little town, hmm?” Rosé considered her. “What did you do, break your boyfriend’s heart when you got on the plane?”

“Something like that.”

“You sound complicated, baby.” Rosé smiled crookedly at her. “Probably too complicated for what I’m looking for tonight, if I’m completely honest.”

“Oh.” Denali bit her lip. “Yeah. I guess I don’t know what I was looking for tonight, either. Just dipping my toes in the water, I guess? I’m sorry for wasting your time.”

“Who says you wasted anything?” Rosé reached out and squeezed her arm affectionately. “Where’s your phone?”

Denali held it up, bemused.

“Give it here.”

When Denali handed it over, Rosé deftly programmed her number into the contacts. “There. Give me a call in a couple of days. We’ll have lunch. You may not be Miss-Right-For-Tonight, but I want to get to know you. I think you’re interesting, and that’s way more rare and special than I usually find in this club.” She winked at Denali. “Sound good?”

It did. And the rest was history.

#wip rosenali fanfic

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angstysebfan · 3 years

Note

Heyy!! Ok so could I please request something where Bucky and pregnant reader are about to get married. He and the guests are all waiting for her to walk down the aisle but after a little while she still hasn't shown up and it turns out she's nowhere to be seen. Bucky thinks she's left him and is all sad. After a while the others find out she's been kidnapped by Hydra because they want the baby. Cue avenger vs hydra scenes and after finding her she goes into early labour and it's all touch-and-go for her and baby but in the end it's a happy ending (maybe the next request I'll work up the courage for an angsty ending 🙈).

Oh I love this! Hope you like it @lookiamtrying!!

Wedding Day

Bucky looks in the mirror one last time, looking over to make sure he looks alright. Today is a day he has been waiting for for over 70 years. Today is the day that the love of his life, finally becomes his forever. When you got pregnant 4 months ago, Bucky didn’t think you would want to continue with plans for the wedding, but you told him nothing was going to stop you from being his wife.

Now being 7 months pregnant, you both decided to make the wedding an intimate gathering of your closest friends and family, which basically is the Avengers, T’Challa and Suri, the Gardians, and Dr. Strange. You both thought it was the perfect amount of people and didn’t need anyone else involved. You both thought the backyard of your new house was the perfect spot for the wedding as well. You have been so excited!

There is a knock on the door, pulling Bucky from his thoughts. Steve walks in with a smile, “You ready pal?” he asks. “More than ready! I just want her to be my wife already!” Bucky says with a laugh as they head out of the door. Steve puts his hand on Bucky’s shoulder to stop him from walking further, “I’m so happy for you Buck. You deserve this and more, and I am so proud to stand beside you both as you do this. I also can’t wait for y God child to be born,” he says. Bucky pulls him in for a quick hug and heads out to the backyard.

You both haven’t moved into the house yet, as it is under construction (Only best from Tony), but you thought the backyard was perfect. You have the chairs set and fairy lights all around, with a white tent behind the ceremony area for the reception. Bucky looks in awe at his surroundings, which make him that much more excited. He walks up in front of his friends and family and looks down the aisle, waiting for you to come to him.

He starts to get jittery as he waits, thinking maybe you were having some difficulty with your pregnant belly. After close to 30 minutes he starts to get nervous that you changed your mind. He decides to head back into the house to where you are supposed to be getting ready. When he opens the door, he sees the room is completely empty. His heart immediately breaks at the thought that you changed your mind.

Steve runs up behind Bucky and looks in the room, “She’s not here?” he asks. Bucky shakes his head sadly as tears rush to his eyes. “I guess she changed her mind,” he says and he slides down the wall to the floor. “I can’t believe Y/N would do that. I mean she is pregnant with your child,” Steve says. Bucky covers his face as tears start to flow down his cheeks. He doesn’t want to believe it either, but you’re not here.

Just then Natasha comes toward them and looks into the room. “I can’t believe she would do this. She was so excited last night! Let me call the driver,” she says pulling out her cell phone. After a brief conversation with the limo company, Natasha learned that the driver is not an employee. She tells this to Steve who immediately pales. You didn’t run out on Bucky, you were taken.

You wake up on a metal cot, handcuffed to the post. You look around and realize that you are in a cell underground. You try and control your panic, as you don’t want to risk anything with your unborn baby, but you are terrified. Suddenly the metal door opens and in walks a man in a black uniform, HYDRA. “Ah, you are finally awake,” he says.

“What to you want?” you ask. “If you think I’m going to let you get Bucky, you have another thing coming!” you scream in anger. The man looks at you and laughs, “First of all, you really think you are tough chained to a bed? Second, it’s not the Winter Soldier we are after... it’s his heir,” he says.

You feel the color disappear from your face. They were after your baby, Bucky’s baby. God you hoped that Bucky figured out what happened to you by now and is on his way. You couldn’t help but be nervous that you would not survive whatever they have planned.

Bucky punches a few more times as blood sprays all over. “Tell me where she is!” he yells in the man’s face. “Buck, enough! You’re going to kill him!” Steve says. “He deserves to die for kidnapping Y/N!” Bucky says as Steve pulls him away. “Buck, I know you are concerned, but if you kill him we will have no leads. Just go wait over there or leave the room,” Steve says. “I’m not leaving until I know where my girl and baby are, Steve,” Bucky says.

Steve nods and turns back to the man who is bloody and oddly enough, laughing. “Since when are the Avengers mobsters? Beating a man to a pulp for information! You have watched too many movies,” he says. Steve walks up the man and pulls his head back, “Where is she? You picked her up and dropped her somewhere, now tell me where,” Steve says patiently.

The man spit blood on Steve’s face which caused Bucky to start toward him again, but Steve stopped him. He wipes off his face and looks at the man, “Well, I tried to be nice. If you think the Winter Soldier was bad, you haven’t met Black Widow,” Steve says. At that the door opens and Natasha walks in with a bunch of different tools, a smirk on her face.

“Hello boys. Heard some information was needed,” she said eyeing the man who was tied up. He looked at her arrogantly, but Bucky heard his heart rate go up. he was nervous. Good.

You don’t know how long you have been there. Days and nights seem to have blended into one. They feed you, if what you are given can be considered food, but they have run tests on you, and you heard they are considering taking the baby out of you early. You are starting to lose hope that Bucky will ever find you, but you keep praying he will. Please Bucky, come find me. Please save us.

The door opens and in comes two men in black uniforms. They uncuff you and drag you to your feet. You try to fight them, but you are so weak.They continue to drag you down the hall to the same room you have been in multiple times. You look and you see a tray with different surgical tools. You know now that this might be the end. You have fought, but you don’t know if you will be able to save yourself or your baby.

You are placed on the table and strapped down tightly. You continue to wiggle and try to fight out of the the binds that keep you to the bed. You hear the laughing in the room, “You still haven’t learned that fighting is useless. We are going to get what we want. The assets child, with the serum running through their veins. We will be able to use this child to create more soldiers. HYDRA will win!” he says.

The doctor starts walking your way with the scalpel, and your breathing gets heavy in panic. In no time at all you start to scream as you feel the sharp utensil cut into your pregnant belly. Before he gets too far the door to the room and smashed down and Bucky, Sam, Steve, and Nat all run in fits, guns, and everything else blazing. Wanda runs in later with red floating around her hands.

You feel yourself losing consciousness and your child is moving like crazy in your belly. You try and focus on one thing to keep yourself conscious, but the darkness is winning. You swear you hear Bucky’s voice calling for you, but you can’t react. Your last thought is that your baby is safe.

You wake up to beeping, which is very annoying. You slowly open your eyes and see a bright white room with the sun shining in. You see Bucky slouched in a chair next to your bed, sleeping. You admire him for a moment before you quietly call out for him. “Bucky,” you say in a raspy voice. Bucky startles awake at the sound of your voice and looks at you.

“Oh thank God,” he says and he leans into the bed holding your hand. You see tears flow freely down his cheeks as he looks at you with relief. “How long was I out?” you asked. “Um.. 4 days. You were malnourished and dehydrated, but Dr. Cho and Bruce took great care of you,” he says inching closer to you. “And the baby?” you ask, putting your free hand on your bump.

“The baby is just fine. Still cooking,” he says with a watery chuckle. You pull on his hand and bring him into your bed where he wraps his arms around you, kissing the top of your head. “I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he says, kissing your head and when you look at him, your forehead.

“Bucky, it’s not your fault--” “You were taken because of me. They were going to hurt you both because of me,” he says. You take his face in your hands, “They wanted our baby, Bucky. If anything I should thank you and the rest of the team for saving us. You saved me and our baby. I’m sorry I missed the wedding,” you say looking into his eyes.

“I... I got scared you changed your mind. That you didn’t want me and my baggage. That you didn’t want to marry me,” he says. You lean in and kiss his lips softly. You pull away quickly to say, “I love you more than anything, Buck. I want to marry you so bad, I would do it in this bed!” you say.

Bucky kisses you again, passionately. “Let’s do it! I can have the pastor here, have our team here. Let’s get married right now,” he says with hope in his eyes. You give him a wide smile, “Let’s do it! Let’s get married!” you say before kissing him again.

In a short time your friends and pastor arrived and you and Bucky married from your hospital bed. The whole “ceremony” Bucky had his metal arm wrapped around you, and his flesh hand rubbing your baby bump. It wasn’t the wedding you imagined, but all that mattered was the man sitting next to you, pledging his life to you and you to his.

It was the happiest day of your life, as least until another month when your son Steve James Barnes was born. Happy and healthy!

Hope you liked it!!

Permanent Taglist: @hailmary-yramliah @tuiccim @comedictragedy @cap-n-stuff @thefridgeismybestie @aleaisntcreative @lookiamtrying @pinknerdpanda @morganclaire4 @iamvalentinaconstanza @verygraphicink @im-squished @joannie95 @peace-love-hobbitness @connie326 @arundhati1609 @amandamdiehl @harrysthiccthighss @its-izzys @roserose26 @rebekahdawkins @elegantobservationstudentsblog @broco8 @bestofbucky @white-wolf1940 @loser-alert @jassy2101

#Bucky Barnes #james bucky barnes #Bucky angst #bucky fanfic #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #bucky barnes x reader

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stevesharrlngtons · 3 years

Note

45+ Roman

45. baby shower

swathed in a white linen gown and a daisy chain headpiece, you watched as letha glew with light and love as she caressed her swollen belly. she was surrounded by discarded tissue paper and crumbled pastel wrapping paper, a tied ribbon from one of her gifts around her neck as a makeshift necklace.

the baby shower was small and intimate, a few girls from school and a cousin or two from her mother’s side. norman had been shooed out of the house by marie a few hours before, so you both could set up the festivities for her daughter. marie, while still totally against letha having a child, seemed to have embraced it enough to get excited about a baby shower. she had planned it to a tee, not letting your input disrupt her vision of danish style party; all linen and burlap in muted colors, with large elaborate flower displays around the home.

you had to admit, it was beautiful. It felt very scerne, and it was something that you knew letha would love. and when she arrived downstairs after sleeping through until mid morning, it was clear she did. the smile that had crept up on her lips hadn’t washed away all day. you had never seen a woman so excited and overjoyed to be pregnant and having a child.

with a mimosa in hand, you sipped it leisurely as letha gushed to a cousin about a onsie in her hand. she had been spread thin this afternoon, everyone wanting to touch her belly and give her their warm wishes for her and her child. you had barely gotten a moment alone with her, or a moment to steal her attention, but you really didn’t mind. you were enjoying just watching her be happy. totally and completely happy.

as your drink dwindled, you felt your phone vibrate. you already suspected who it was, and it was confirmed by the large R❤️ that popped up followed by here. you downed the flat champagne and remnants of orange juice, before you discreetly snuck out the back to let roman and peter in.

you crept to the back door where you found peter and roman both holding sides of a large box.

“try and be quiet,” you whispered, leaning against the door as they filed in.

roman wiggled his eyebrows at you and you grinned.

“nice get up,” he murmured as he passed you.

you stomach clenched at his comment and you rolled your eyes flirtatiously.

as the heads of the part, marie had gotten you and her similar dresses to letha’s. it was a bit long for you taste, but it was quite thin and see through, which made it feel more like a sexy nightgown than anything else, which you appreciated; especially when you knew roman was going to be coming over with the crib.

before you could even turn around from the back door, you heard all the women squeal with excitement. you returned back to the living room to see letha hugging roman tight and pecking his cheek warmly, then throwing herself onto peter and smothering him in kisses. you couldn’t help but chuckle at roman’s scowl, knowing that he paid for the lion's share of the crib.

you watched from a distance as the boys described the crib to letha, as she thanked them profusely. you watched as the other girls in attendance stood on at the corners of the room, making eyes at roman and giving each other whispering giggles when he looked at them. you wished you could tell them they weren’t cut out for roman and all he came with. hell, sometimes you didn’t think you were either.

maybe that’s why you were just as you were with him; for years, much more than friends, but still much less than a relationship.

soon, marie lost her patience with the boy started to push them out the door. she practically had her hands on their shoulders to escort them out when you cut in on her strong arming.

“i got it,” you assured her, as peter gave letha one last kiss goodbye and was followed by roman to the door.

as the three of you headed for the back door, where peter’s truck was parked, you felt roman’s hand come to press against the small of your back. the little show of affection made the flutters in your stomach so much worse. every time he touched you made your nervous system go crazy. his hand slide up in between your shoulder blades as you reached the back porch. you watched as peter retreated down the steps and he and roman exchanged a look before he got into the driver’s seat without a word.

“so,” roman drawled, his fingers coming to fiddle in your ends of your hair, “i now know that you would look very sexy as a member of a cult.”

you hummed, “good to know. i will keep that in mind in if i ever fall under a jim jones spell.”

his fingers made their way from your hair to cup back of your neck, his thumb gently stroking the side of your throat.

“so what? no godfrey cult for you?” he smirked.

“nah,” you sighed dramatically, “i know that that guy is a sham.”

he quickly moved back to grip your hair, tight at the scalp, and grumbled something deep in his chest.

all you did was smile.

“am i seein’ you later?” he changed the subject lowly, his face descending close to your own, that he had titled up.

“hmm, i don’t know,” you pretended to ponder, “all this baby talk is getting me a little squeamish. i don’t think we need any godfrey-(y/l/n) babies running around any time soon.”

“i’ll pull out.”

“i don’t know if i trust you,” you theatrically fluttered your lashes and looked over his shoulder.

your barely contained smile was hurting your cheeks with restraint. roman quickly moved his head back into your line of sight.

“oh honey,” roman’s cooed, his menthol breath dusting your lips, “you know that’s not true.”

the heat from his skin radiated off him in waves, along with his intoxicating clonage, making you feel all sorts of relaxed and dizzy. shit, maybe he was a cult leader?

you craned your face the best you could with his restriction in your hair, but roman simply steeled his grip and pulled his face away.

“you want anymore, then you’ll have to see me later,” he purred seductively, followed by a laugh at your disgruntled whine.

he released you from his grip and took a far step away from you. the farther he got, the foggier your brain became. all you wanted was to be able to think clearly of nothing by roman, as you were in his arms.

“i’ll see you, my little cult member.” he grinned, his eyes sparkling with devious passion.

“sorry father godfrey,” you called out to him as he made his way down the back steps, “i’m not who you’re looking for. though, there are about six girls inside who are ready and waiting to hear your gospel.”

roman turned quick and efficient on his heel as he reached the passenger side of peter’s truck, “well, too bad. i choose my disciples, and i chose you. be by my side, or else.”

he stuck a pointed finger out at you, followed by a wink that showed the full extent of his charisma. you leant against a wood pillar of the porch and watched him with amorous eyes and a full, gleaming smile. roman got in the car beside his friend, but never tore his gaze from you.

you waited until peter had pulled from the driveway and driven down the street, roman totally out of your sight, before you returned to the baby shower. you entered the kitchen with the same giddy smile on your face to see marie, a scowl on her own. her brows stitched together in worry and disgust. it was clear that she had just watched the display between you and her nephew.

“is it time for the baby naming game yet?” you asked with cheer, quickly making another mimosa and passing her without a second glance.

you didn’t care about her judgment, you had a best friend to pamper and an erotic night with her cousin to anxiously await. marie’s problems with you weren’t even on your radar.

#roman godfrey x reader #roman godfrey imagine #stevesharrlngtonswrites

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insertdeeplyrics · 3 years

Text

On the ending of Supernatural

Hi, I’ve never actually posted anything on Tumblr of my own creation (I mostly reblog stuff), but I’ve just seen the ending of Supernatural, and given that this is where I’ve been fed my SPN content, it felt right to share my thoughts here. I’m sure nobody is going to read this, but whatever, I just need to get this out of my chest. Sorry in advance if this is too long, but I have to type this out if I want to move on.

I still need to take some time to process everything that’s happened, because it is a lot. I did have my hopes up for the finale, thinking that Cas would at least show up, but like many of the fans, I was let down.

So I guess that would be the first issue I had with the episode. Regardless of what Dean felt towards Cas, if he reciprocated his feelings or not (which he totally did, I mean, we have all been watching the same show for 12 fucking years, and if you don’t believe me, there are plenty of metas that would support this statement), he still is his best friend and it doesn’t sit right with me the fact that he doesn’t even try to find a way to rescue Cas from the Empty. And okay, maybe he didn’t, make Cas got resurrected by Jack, then why the hell wasn’t he on the final episode? He was a pivotal character for the series, I mean, the proof is in the ratings: Season 7, when he was killed off to apparently never return, the ratings were at their lowest. The show may have started as just Dean and Sam, but over the years it became much bigger than them, and it is so disappointing that the show runners failed to acknowledge it. But I’ll get back to this point later.

Okay, I need to talk about Dean’s death, the only part of the episode that made me cry, because my poor baby had to suffer so much! Like, when he started saying that Sam never put up with John’s crap (which reinforces my headcanon that John was abusive towards the boys) and how much he admired him for it, my heart just shattered. I just love Dean Winchester so freaking much, and they did him so dirty... Don’t get me wrong, Jensen and Jared’s acting was 10/10, like, I thought I had a grip of myself and then Sam started crying and tears came back to my eyes. Nonetheless, I felt that the scene was so freaking long! I mean, Dean was dying, and he had time to make a 10 minutes-long speech! C’mon! Also, I get that Sam and Dean’s relationship is quite deep and strong and whatever, but I felt a bit unconformable watching it: it didn’t feel like a brotherly goodbye, more like a lover’s one. They were too touchy and intimate, and, overall, their relationship from this point on was coded as a romantic one, in my opinion. And Chuck, did I hate it! I have an older brother and I know what it is like to be close to your sibling and to love him more than anything else in the world, but the way they portrayed their relationship on this last episode felt incest-y, which makes me believe that this scene was originally written with another character in mind (cough CAS cough) or the writers don’t know the difference between romantic and brotherly love. To finish off, the way they killed off Dean??? I mean, I did expect Dean to die, but this was such a horrible and ridiculous way to go... I would have accepted it if he died actually fighting, but impaled??? After all he’s been through, after fighting so many demons, angels and deities, that’s how he dies??? That just felt cheap and rushed. Dean did not deserve that ending and I refuse to accept it. In fact, I refuse to acknowledge the existence of this whole fucking mess of an episode. Also, I just can’t believe that no one showed up to Dean’s funeral. I just can’t. I get that maybe it was difficult to bring in a lot of actors due to the pandemic, but they could have added them on post-production...

Next, we have Sam’s ending. He quits hunting and finally obtains his white-picket fence life. I did like the fact that he honored all of his friends and family that he lost along the way, especially Dean. Like, yes, if my brother died, I would like to keep a token (don’t know if that’s the actual word for it, my first language is not English), to have something with me that reminded me of him and to have him with me wherever I go. And I did like that he named his son Dean, in honor of his brother. However, we don’t know how he met his wife, we don’t even know who she is. They set up Sameileen for what?? Like, Sam and Eileen deserved better, tbh. And, again, even with Covid restrictions they could have done something to signal that Sam got married to Eileen, you don’t need the actor there. In fact, we never actually found out what happened to her, and just like I can’t believe that Dean didn’t even try to save Cas from the Empty, I can’t believe that Sam didn’t reach out to Eileen. Furthermore, the montage with his son felt cheap and a way to try to appeal to the audience’s emotions... (Btw, as a side note, the grey wig and the glasses, my god, they did Jared dirty 😂😂). But it wasn’t doing it for me, I didn’t care much for the kid, and while I do believe that was always going to be Sam’s ending, I didn’t like how it was executed.

And the worst part of it all: that suuuuuper long scene with Dean driving in Heaven, waiting for Sam. They could have used that time to show something more meaningful, even to develop a bit more Sam’s new life, how he adjusted to domesticity and fatherhood and all that crap. Or, I don’t know, A TEAM FREE WILL 2.0 REUNION??? And I guess this is my biggest issue with the whole episode. I get it, Sam and Dean are the central characters, the ones that started it all, but family don’t end with blood, and they were not the only ones who deserved a goodbye. They had formed so many bonds and friendships over the years, and to not have them address them on the final episode just feels infuriating. Especially Cas. His arc was not finished, he deserved to be on the finale. We never got Dean’s reaction to his confession, we don’t know how he felt about him, nor did Cas get to say goodbye to any other character. How did he get out of the Empty? What is he doing now? Is he still an angel? Also, he gave his life to save Dean, only for Dean to be killed not long after. My headcanon that is helping me cope with Dean’s death is thinking that he was so quick to accept his death because he was hoping to reunite in Heaven with Castiel. A girl can dream, ok??? But also, what about Jack? He is the new God, but I highly doubt it that he won’t drop by the Bunker from time to time, after all, Sam and Dean (AND CAS, ESPECIALLY CAS) raised him. And Charlie? Did she get back with Stevie? Did she and the boys go for drinks from time to time? And Jody? Donna? Claire? Sorry to be so repetitive, but I just can’t understand why the writers thought that these characters weren’t important enough to deserve a spot on the finale, and not just an off-hand mention (and not even all of them got that). Of course, the brothers are the main characters and their goodbye must be the longest and the most emotional of them all, but like I said before, the show stopped being just about the Winchesters on season 3, when Bobby was first introduced, maybe even 4, with Cas.

Overall, the finale left a lot of questions unanswered, most of them regarding secondary characters (but not less important for that!), completely destroyed Sam and Dean’s character development (Dean never got to be free, like he had been fighting for all season, probably all his life; Sam’s development is non-existing, as he ended up as he would’ve if he never had gotten on that hunting trip with Dean 15 years ago), and completely disregarded all the themes they had been setting up this season, probably on previous ones as well. It is sad knowing that the writers, either don’t know the show good enough to give it a proper goodbye, or they just didn’t care to do so. I don’t know who’s to blame here (definitely not the actors, though, probably someone higher up the chain), but I just know that I am so fucking disappointed. I expected more from the last episode of a 15-season TV show, one that has been part of my life for 7 years. I guess, that despite all of it, I can’t hate Supernatural. Maybe I was not a hardcore fan like some people on this site, but I did care for the characters and what happened to them. This is the show that introduced me to the world of shipping (Destiel will always hold a special place in my heart, it doesn’t matter how badly their relationship was treated, as well as the characters) and I got to discover one of my favorite characters, Dean Winchester. He is just such so complex, one that I relate to on so many levels, and his relationship with Cas has been the source of many short stories that I’ve never posted anywhere, but that have made me take up writing again. That’s the reason why I love the show so much, it has helped me tap into my creativeness and go back to writing, a passion of mine that I seem to have forgotten over the years. Anyways, maybe one day I’ll publish some of those stories, and maybe even write my own fix-it fanfic, but right now, I can’t deal with anything that has to do with the show, I am too hurt. Maybe once the five stages of grief are over, I might give it a try and read all of the amazing codas and fanfics that I’m sure will be posted here or on AO3. But for now, Supernatural is dead and gone, and I don’t want to talk nor think about it anymore. I’m done wasting my time here, because I feel like that’s what I’ve been doing this past 7 years after watching this crap of a finale.

To finish this long rant off, I just want to say thank you to some meta-writers, the true heroes of the fandom. Thanks to them, I carried on watching the show, because they made me have hope that things will get better. They are the ones that have made this experience worth something, and even though I’ve never spoken to any of them, I see you and I love you. Thanks for everything ❤.

@tinkdw @charlie-minion @dotthings @heliodean @verobatto-angelxhunter @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover

#supernatural #spn s15 #spn #carry on #destiel #supernatural finale #personal rant #dean is bi #dean winchester #sam winchester #disappointed #dean winchester deserved better #destiel forever #jack also deserved better #every fucking character deserved better #character development who? don't know her #castiel #spn spoilers #spn 15x20

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quirklessthot · 4 years

Text

request: smut with creepy stalker!momo? please 😭✋

warnings: 18+, stalking, non-con, yandere

➤ When you get the job offer to work at the Creati’s hero agency, you nearly pass out. It was a rigorous interview process and you managed to beat out hundreds of other applicants to become the personal assistant of Japan’s number eight hero

➤ I don’t see Momo as the “follow you around, break into your home” type of stalker. Why would she do all that dirty work when she has the funds and connections to keep track of your every move from the comfort of her home?

➤ She would have files with every bit of information she can find on you. Your birthday, birthplace, address, parents’ names, pets, favourite food, phobias...

➤ There’s nothing that Momo doesn’t know about you

➤ And that makes it so easy to befriend you. She already knows all of your likes and dislikes. She already knows you. It’s like you two are practically dating already! Especially since she was so generous to give you such a coveted position

➤ What, you thought you got the job because of your resume and references? Ha! You’re there because Momo wants you there

➤ You spend a lot of time together, and not just as boss and employee. You try your best to keep things professional – you don’t want to lose this job after all – but Momo is adamant on making your relationship more intimate than it’s supposed to be

➤ Months pass and Momo becomes more and more agitated. Why are you so unreceptive to her flirtations?

➤ Every compliment she gives, you shoot down with a polite rebuff. She tries to get physically close to you, but you insist on a distance of at least two feet between you. Even the gifts she tries to give you are turned down

➤ Apparently a diamond bracelet and a Chanel handbag for your two-month anniversary are ‘too extravagant’ for a lowly assistant

➤ But to Momo, nothing is too grand or expensive for her darling; she would give you the world on a silver platter if you asked for it

➤ At least you’re amicable to going out on dates with her. You call them ‘errands’ but she knows better, and soon, you will too

---

“Miss Yaoyorozu, there’s an urgent--”

“We’ve gone over this already,” Momo sighs from behind her desk. “I told you to call me Momo.”

You hesitate in the doorway of her office, clutching the files for her latest hero analysis close to your chest. “I don’t think that’s very appropriate, ma’am…”

“Oh! Or Yaomomo,” she continues, as if you hadn’t spoken. “My friends back in high school used to call me that.”

You’re powerless against the bright smile she sends your way and you give in, compromising on calling her by her first name when only no one else is around.

Momo would prefer you do it especially in front of others, but the relationship is still fairly new, and you do seem to be the shy type, so she lets it slide for now.

You continue you work, blissfully unaware of the looks of longing (tinged with possessiveness) that your boss sends you throughout the day. The following morning, as you’re heading out with Momo to get the busy day started, she instead has you drop her home to pick up something very important that she needs.

“A quick in and out, I promise!”

Which is why you’re so confused when she walks into her kitchen and turns the stove on under a stainless-steel kettle.

“Momo?”

She is elated that you call her by her first time without her having to prompt or correct you. She smiles and hums in acknowledgment as she goes around her kitchen to collect a platter of snacks and teabags big enough for a tea party.

You check your phone for the time. “I thought you said this wouldn’t take long. You have a meeting at eleven-thirty and a photoshoot with Hero Weekly magazine later this afternoon.” We don’t have time for this, you want to add but hold your tongue. Creati might be friendly to a concerning degree but she’s still your boss.

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Momo laughs, pulling out two dainty teacups and setting them down on the counter where you’re seated. “We’ve got plenty of time for that.”

Right.

As Momo gets the tea together, you take the time to look around. “You have a lovely home, by the way.”

Lovely doesn’t begin to describe it. The enormous space is elegant and classy – much like its owner. Top hero rankings really do pay the bills. You imagine coming from money probably doesn’t hurt either.

“Thank you,” Momo says, handing you a delicate cup on a matching saucer. “I’m glad you like it.”

You nod in thanks and take a sip of the piping hot black liquid. It’s delicious and obviously high-quality. But you can’t help but notice the odd aftertaste - an almost bitter undercurrent that has you pausing for just a second. But not wanting to seem rude, you ignore it, silently finishing your cup while Momo slowly sips her own tea, looking on with a hidden smile.

It doesn’t take long for you to start feeling unusually drowsy. The room starts to spin as your vision blurs around the edges. You attempt to speak but your tongue feels like lead in your mouth, heavy and unwilling to from words so that anything that comes out is stilted and slurred.

“Oh dear, I think I made the dose too high,” you hear Momo mumble worriedly to herself.

You want to ask her what she means but it’s taking all of your energy just to stay awake. You allow her to sling a lifeless arm over her shoulders and drag you deeper into the house, into what you assume is her bedroom and onto what you assume is her bed.

“So beautiful…” she murmurs, using the back of her hand to gently stroke your cheek, nothing but adoration in her gaze. She leans down to place a gentle kiss to your lips and the unexpected action has you tensing up – as much as your body would allow, anyway.

Confusion mars her perfect features when you try to turn your head away and begin grumbling incoherently in protest.

“You’re not into…? But you had a girlfriend in your second year of college. You two only just recently broke up.”

Your brows furrow. How the hell does she know that…?

You attempt to voice that concern aloud but whatever was put in your tea has you fighting to stay conscious, until you finally succumb. The last thing you hear is Momo wishing you sweet dreams.

You come to sometime later, groggy and dazed, with a slight pain thumping at your temples. You groan and move to rub the sleep out of your eyes, but your hand is caught fast. Your eyes flick up from the padded cuff circling your wrist, up the gleaming metal chain to where it’s attached to the headboard; your other wrist is secured just as tightly.

Just as you start to panic, the door opens and in steps Momo. She’s out of her hero costume and in an oversized white sweater and black leggings.

“Miss Yaoyorozu!” you shout, nearly hysterical. “W-what’s going on? Why am I tied up?!”

Momo tuts, a small frown tugging at her lips. “Momo, dear,” she corrects gently.

Your boss’ behaviour has you baffled and a little apprehensive. Why is she acting as though having her personal assistant tied up in her bed is completely normal? Momo moves over to you, fluffing up the pillow your head is resting on, and asks if you’re comfortable.

You begin to tremble. “Miss Yao--”

A hand is on your jaw, squeezing tight enough to effectively shut you up.

“If you don’t stop calling me that I’m going to have to punish you.”

Momo leans over you, uncomfortably close as she keeps your face in a vice-like grip, perfectly manicured nails digging into the skin of your cheeks. Her tone is soft but strict, like a parent berating their child.

“Do you understand?”

Timidly, you nod your head.

Satisfied with your compliance, Momo lets go of your jaw to softly rub a thumb along the irritated skin. “I’m sorry, love. I hate being so rough with you. But we’ve got to nip those nasty little habits in the bud.”

“M-Momo?” You hate how shaky and small your voice is, but you continue when she hums in question. “What’s going on? I don’t… I don’t understand.”

She tilts her head to the side. “What’s not to understand?”

She can’t be serious can she? You swallow past the rising ball of panic in your throat. “I want to go home.”

“You’re already home, love,” she says with a chuckle. As if it’s the most well-known thing in the world and you’re being silly.

You immediately switch to another tactic. You’re going to have to play along if you want any chance of escape. “O-of course. Um, could you untie me? It’s a little uncomfortable,” you say, glancing up to where you’re tied to the headboard. You’ve never had any kind of combat training but maybe you can find a way to trick or overpower her once your hands are free. Going up against a Pro Hero is the last thing you want to do but you have to at least try.

Momo’s answer is swift and simple. “No.”

“No?” you repeat dumbly.

“You must really think I’m stupid,” she says with a laugh, high and bell-like. “Oh, my silly little baby, do you really think you have a chance of fighting me? You’re not going anywhere, and you can’t escape. So you’d might as well get that thought out of your empty little head.”

The patronizing quality of her jab leaves you feeling utterly defeated and you sag in your bonds.

“Don’t pout, beautiful. I’ll make it all better,” she says, hand pressing into your stomach as she moves onto the bed to hover above you. She leans down and plants an unsuspecting kiss onto your lips. You try desperately to pull away, but your efforts go completely ignored as she deepens the kiss, running her tongue along the seam of your tightly closed lips.

The hand on your stomach slips upwards to cover one of your breasts. She gives it a squeeze, trapping your nipple between her fingers. The action has you squirming, and you let out an involuntary moan.

“Good girl,” Momo purrs against your lips.

“Get off,” you respond in protest. “Get off of me!”

“Behave,” she scolds, sliding her hands down your body until she has a strong grip on your hips. She plays with the hem of the large cotton t-shirt you’re wearing – definitely not the suit you put on this morning; she must have changed you while you were knocked out. With dread, you also realize that you’re not wearing any underwear.

Momo lifts up the only piece of clothing you have on and tucks in under your chin, allowing her eyes to freely roam the expanse of your naked body. “You’re perfect,” she breathes out, reverent. “I’ve wanted you the moment I laid eyes on you, you know.”

A finger glides up the curve of your breast to circle your nipple, stroking over the quickly hardening peak. Your teeth clamp down on your bottom lip, desperate to not let any noises slip out. But you can’t hold back the squeak when you feel her warm, wet mouth descend on your breast. You squirm at the way her tongue flicks over your nipple and her teeth

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, she slips a hand down to rest against your mound. Those graceful fingers slide down to pet against the lips of your cunt, slipping down even further to play with your hole.

She toys with you for a while, mouth firmly attached to your breast, sucking on your nipple until you can’t hold back your cries any longer. She slips a finger inside of you, the movement made easy by the copious amounts of slick. Another soon joins, slowly fucking you in a way that has your toes curling. The wet squelching sound is piercing in the otherwise quiet room; you ball your fists and shut your eyes tight, embarrassed by the way your traitorous body is responding.

You almost scream when Momo’s thumb begins to rub firms circles into your sensitive clit and within seconds you’re cumming all over her fingers. She doesn’t stop until you’re close to another orgasm.

“My sweet girl, you did so well,” she praises, slipping her fingers out of you.

You just lay there, panting and trying to come to terms with the fact that your boss just gave you one of the best orgasms of your life.

She holds up her fingers, the slim digits are covered in your slick. The embarrassment from witnessing how much you enjoyed that makes you want to crawl into a hole. But Momo shows no such reservations and pops them into her mouth, eyes closing and moaning as though she’s tasting the sweetest honey.

“If I had known you tasted this good I would have done this a long time ago,” Momo chuckles. “Good enough to eat.”

The hungry glint in her eyes has you quickly clamping your thighs together but it’s embarrassingly easy for her to pry them apart, holding you open and spread out in the most intimate of ways.

Despite the horror you’re feeling, you can’t tear your eyes away from the sight of Momo getting comfortable on her stomach and leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to your mound. She starts with kitten licks against your folds that that have unwanted excitement pooling in your belly, before licking a broad stripe from your wet, twitching hole to your clit. Her lips close over the little nub, taking it into her to suckle and lave with attention. You moan and buck your hips up into her mouth, desperate to feel more of her tongue.

She lets go of your clit to close her mouth of you entirely, tongue wriggling inside, your walls immediately clench down on the slippery intrusion. You keen, back arching as your pussy releases a wave of slick, which Momo is more than happy to lap up, moaning hungrily. With the amount of noise she’s making, you’d think she’s the one being pleasured. She hums and sighs as she works you over, obvious in her enjoyment of eating you out.

Your body tenses and you throw your head back with a scream. You can’t stop yourself from cumming a second time – this one just as intense as the last.

Before you know it, Momo is undressed and shuffling until she’s kneeling directly over you. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what she wants to do.

“It’s only fair, right?” she asks, thighs straddling your head. She doesn’t give you time to respond before she’s lowering herself down onto your face. “Don’t disappoint me, ok?”

Her tone is sweet enough, but the threat is clear.

Without much of a choice, you stick your tongue out and begin lapping at her pussy. She’s already soaking wet, worked up from giving you pleasure. You use every trick you knew to get her off as quickly as possible. Luckily, it doesn’t take long.

“Oh, god! Yes!” she’s soon crying out, writhing on your tongue. “Please, baby. Please make me cum! Make me -ah!”

Momo grinds down harder and her pace picks up until she suddenly stops, hips giving short jerks as she whines and lets out a satisfied little sigh. She pulls away, shuffling down your body until she can lie down beside you to hug you close.

“You did wonderful, darling,” she praises, still slightly out of breath.

You say nothing but Momo is having none of that. She taps a finger against your slick-covered lips. “What do we say when someone compliments you, sweetie?”

You try to blink back tears. You’re really not getting out of here are you?

“Thank you,” you reply obediently.

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #momo x reader #yandere #yandere mha #noncon tw #tw: noncon

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youllneverknowrac · 4 years

Text

Oscar Diaz-Protect

For my bitch @spookysmujer, hope you like it girly! And y’all go check out her stuff!

Warnings: A fucking sleazy guy 🥴

“What do you say you come back to my place for some fun?” Some random guy asks as you walk out of the corner store that was down the street from your boyfriend Oscar’s house. You were actually heading that way after deciding to walk so you could pick up some snacks to munch on during the movie marathon he had planned for you guys.

“Fucking pig.” You mumble as you ignore him, taking a few more steps before you hear his deep voice once again.

“Are you a stuck up bitch that can’t answer a question or what?” He asks in a teasing manner as he walks closer.

“Oh no, see that’s what you’re not about to do.” You snap as you turn around to glare at the man,”Who the fuck do you think you are?”

“Woah, woah, woah chill out baby.” He chuckles,”I’m just trying to get to know you, that’s all.” He says his fingers coming up to your face as he try’s to push some hair behind your ear.

“Don’t touch me!” You cringe in disgust as you swat his hand away,”Just go back to your car.” You say with a wave of your hand in that direction,”You don’t want the problems that come with me.”

“Am I suppose to be scared of you?” He chuckles,”Besides I wasn’t doing anything wrong, there is no harm in trying to make new friends.”

“Nah you’re doing more than that.” You say as a knowing smirk forms on your face,”You ain’t from around here huh?” You ask with a chuckle as you glance around,”Cause if you were, you wouldn’t even be looking in my direction. Especially not on this street.”

“What? Your daddy own this neighborhood or something?” He asks with a scoff,”Last I checked this was America baby, I can say what I please.”

“You could say my daddy owns this block.” You smile sweetly at him,”Which is why I’m going to let you walk away. I would hate for him to have to take time out of his day to beat the shit out of some sleazy dumb fuck.” You say as you spin around in the opposite direction, the guy biting his lower lip and nodding before heading to his car with sick intentions.

“What a asshole.” You shudder as you walk at a hurried pace along the sidewalk. Oscar’s house in sight a minute later just as a familiar beat up blue mustang pulls to a stop in front of you and sends a few trash cans flying.

“Ahhhh!” You exclaim as you jump back in fear,”What the fuck?!” You shout as you see the familiar guy step out.

“You know, I don’t like the way our conversation ended back there.” He says as he begins to walk around the car, causing you to step backwards and into the street,”I think I oughta show you manners baby. Maybe you wouldn’t be able to bitch if you had something to occupy that pretty little mouth of yours.” He smirks, his hand grabbing at his bulge.

“Come any closer and I’ll scream.” You warn, taking one more step before you trip and fall on your backside. A moan of pain escaping your lips as you sit up in discomfort, your snacks now thrown about.

“See what happens when you don’t do what I say? You get hurt.” He chuckles just as he reaches you, your about to scream when you hear a all too familiar voice behind you.

“Aye what’s going on out here?!” Sad Eyes shouts as he jogs down his driveway in nothing but his sweats with a gun in hand,”Y/N?” He asks, your best friend running out after him in one of his too long t-shirts.

“Y/N, oh my god are you okay?” She ask as she comes to a stop and kneels down next to you,”Your hands are all cut up.” She says as she puts her arms under yours and lifts you up quickly, Sad Eyes stepping around the two of you with his gun now pointed at the man.

“You know this foo?” He asks

“She’s my friend.” He answers the same time as you do, fear now clear in his eyes as he takes notice of a few neighbors coming outside to see the commotion. Most of them being armed and tattooed with the famous Santo cross.

“No! He fucking followed me from the store.” You say as you wipe your hands clean, the sting causing your eyes to water,”He wouldn’t leave me alone.”

“You messing with my homies girl?” He asks rhetorically as he cocks the gun,”Ima need you to take a seat on the curb. I’m sure he’s going to want to have a chat with you.”

“Look man, I’m gonna just go alright?” He says as he holds his hands up,”I don’t want any trouble. That wasn’t my intention.”

“He’s a liar! He was messing with me in the parking lot, I tried to warn him about what would happened and he didn’t care.” You say as angry tears slip from your eyes,”You should have just left me alone.”

“Hey, I’m sorry. Really, I am.” He says, his head snapping in the direction of Oscar’s commanding whistle as he walks down the street.

“What the fuck is happening on my block?” He booms as he takes in the scene in front of him, his pace quickening as he takes notice of you,”Dime qué está pasando.” He barks out loud to nobody in particular as he reaches you and takes you from Carla,”Calm down bebe, I’m here.” He soothes as he looks over you, his jaw clenching when he takes notice of your injury.

“Seems like this guy was messing with your hyna Spooky. Followed her from the store and shit.” Sad Eyes explains as he puts his gun down and steps to the side,”Made her fall and cut her hands up too.”

“No!” The man interjects,”It wasn’t like that.”

“You fucking with my girl?” Oscar questions as he slowly walks towards him after letting Carla take over you again,”And then you made her bleed?” He adds as he pulls off his chain and tucks it in his pocket.

“I would never mess with your girl man. Come on, we don’t have to make this into a big thing.” He says shakily as Oscar now tugs off his white t-shirt and hands it off to his right hand man.

“Nah it’s too late for that.” Oscar shrugs before he posts up,”It’s square business now, we gonna have to catch a round.”

“I don’t want to fight you. We don’t have to do all that.” He cries, one of the other Santo members coming up behind him and shoving him forward.

“It’s either we fight or my compa here puts a bullet between your eyes. Your choice.” He informs as he holds his stance, the guy looks around before weakly holding his hands up. Oscar taking that action as a final decision and quickly throwing a powerful right hook to his jaw. He falls to the ground, Oscar leaning down and delivering blow after blow to the guys head,”Don’t fuck...with my...girl!” He grunts as his knuckles get covered with blood, the curb sprayed with it as well.

“Oscar! Enough!” You shout out when no one else intervenes, the guy having been knocked out after the first few punches. He looks over at you before using his forearm to wipe his mouth as he nods towards the other side of the street.

“Look over there.” He orders quietly, you take in a shaky breathe before doing as asked and turning around with Carla. The sound of more blows being delivered reach your ears before a final and different kind of hit sounds off.

“Okay, enough...chill out Spooky.” Sad Eyes finally jumps in as he wraps his arms around his best friend and forcibly walks him over to you,”Take her home, I’ll handle this mess.” He reassures Oscar as he hands off his gun to Carla,”Go put that up and stay inside.” He instructs her as you take a peek at the man, his face almost unrecognizable. You look down and cringe when you take notice of your boyfriends once crisp white air forces, no doubt that the last hit you heard was a kick to the guys face.

“I’m sorry.” The man croaks out as you feel yourself being pulled away by Oscar, you let him lead you down the road and into the house after he kicks off his shoes on the porch.

“You okay nena?” He asks as he gently pushes you down on to the toilet to sit after you enter the dim lit bathroom,”He didn’t actually touch you, did he?”

“I’m okay...he’s so stupid, I tried to tell him to leave me alone because I didn’t want you to have to do that.” You say as you watch him wash his hands,”I’m sorry.”

“No. Don’t apologize.” He says with a shake of his head,”He got what he deserved and that’s that. Next time he’ll think twice before approaching any girl, maldito tonto.” He grumbles as he drys his hands before taking yours in his and kneeling down in front of you,”Just a few scrapes.” He informs before flipping them over and placing soft kisses to the back of them,”I love you.” He mumbles against them, his nerves calming down as he closes his eyes.

“I love you.” You smile before wrapping your arms around him,”Thank you for being there, like you always are.”

“You know Ima always be there ma, ain’t no one ever gonna hurt you, or even disrespect you as long as I’m around.” He informs you, the two of you standing up so you could properly hug him,”You go set that movie up, I’m gonna step out real quick and see what’s up.”

“Okay.” You reply as you stand on your tip toes,”Just hurry up, I don’t want to be alone.” You admit before pecking his lips.

“I will.” He sighs, giving you another quick kiss before untangling his body from yours,”Go to my room, I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He urges, he did have to make sure the mess that happened was cleaned up properly after all. You wait until he’s back outside before lazily walking to his bedroom and setting up a movie like he asked, a comedy for sure after everything that just went down. You look out the window after a few minutes go by, the little old lady that lives across the street cleaning off the road with a bucket of soapy water after giving Oscar a reassuring squeeze on the arm. The blue mustang now driving down the street, the window tint to dark to see who was inside. You watch as the neighbors join together to clean up the mess, being pulled from your thoughts as a pair of arms embrace you from behind.

“Don’t worry about that.” He mutters as he turns you around to face him,”He’ll be fine, I know you’re worried about that. He had his Id on him, Jokers gonna go toss him out on his lawn. Think he’s gonna keep the car too.” Oscar says with a dry chuckle.

“Lets just forget about it.” You sigh as you step around him to lay on the bed,”Can you come lay down now?” You ask, Oscar smiling as he slides in next to you before grabbing the remote and pressing play. Your mind now at ease in the comfort of his arms, his lips pressed to the top of head as he mumbles about how he’d always be there to protect you. A promise he’d keep forever.

#oscar diaz #oscar diaz x reader #spooky diaz #spooky x reader #netflix on my block #on my block imagines #netflix #freeridge #omb #on my block season 3 #one shot #omb season 3

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highwaydiamonds · 3 years

Note

Um. Excuse me. You had cancer??

Yeah... I mean I guess I really haven't discussed it much on tumblr. I have a little bit, but only in vague ways, or rarely made veiled references in tags.

SO, get a drink, get a snack, because this is a bit of a saga, and you already know I am longwinded at the best of times. I'm going to do like Vizzini said, and go back to the beginning. I hope you're ok I'm making this public Shells, it seems easier to? And I'll put this behind a cut because I really do wax on ( and on).

It's the end of August 2018 and i appear to have gotten some kind cold/respiratory infection. I'm at work the first day of it and it feels like a cold. No big deal. (Also this is all pre-COVID so no I didn't have COVID). The next day I feel really awful, so I call off work, and figure all I need to do is rest and I'll be ok. Turns out, NOPE. The next day I feel worse- now I can tell I have a bit of a fever, my appetite was basically, " eat one baby carrot and my appetite is exhausted." Finally, I get to the point that I am having trouble lying down - as in I am becoming short of breath when I try to lie flat (sorry if I am using the wrong word - lay/lie was always a grammar issue that eluded me.) So, I decide, ok, i will be sensible girl and go get medical attention. But I am stubborn and feel the ER is overreacting, so I go to urgent care. i park in the front row of urgent car parking, but by the time I reach the intake desk I have to put my head down because I am so winded and a bit lightheaded.

They take one look at me and tell me, point blank, "we're getting a squad for you to take you to the ER." I say, " what? no, I don't need that, this is not that big a deal." They counter, " you could barely walk in the door and you you are having significant trouble breathing. We don't have the ability to see you here." So, for the first time in my life I have to go via ambulance from urgent care to a free standing ER.

I get to the ER - where they decide, OK, lady, you're a mess. Let's get some chest x-rays and we're gonna slap some IV fluids and I can't even recall if they immediately put me on IV antibiotics or not. But after two hours there they informed me, " hey.... So, we think you need to go to the hospital-hospital not the freestanding ER." I tell them well you better hand me my laptop ( I'm that bitch who takes the laptop with her juuuuust in case I am stuck in the hospital. you never know.) Because i am not going to a hospital until I figure out if they're in my health plan. I do so and then for the second time in my life, all in one night because sometimes I am an over achiever i guess, I go via ambulance to the hospital.

They admitted me and over the next few/couple/ hours ( it was hard to tell) I progressively felt worse. I had trouble breathing if I didn't sit absolutely straight up, and at that point I hadn't gotten good sleep for around 60 hours or so. Me being me I started to get teary and panicky, because I was so tired and wasn't sure what to do. I called for the nurse and she came in and then within the next half hour your girl got taken down to the ICU. By the time we arrived down in the ICU I was really getting panicky. My mom died in the ICU ( different hospital but still) and I knew the fact they took me down there was no laughing matter. I started to think about, " ok is this what death is like? this isn't what i thought it was going to be - this is panicky and scary and not all white lights and peace."

The next thing I knew - it was two days later, and I woke up intubated. Did you know that you can be conscious and intubated? I did not. I'll speed things up a bit here. I spent a total of 8 days in the ICU - I had one hell of a case of pneumonia, and there were a couple of other diagnoses thrown in ( nope, not cancer. promise, we will get there.) . The nurses I had were AMAZING. I was intubated for about 6 of those 8 days. Then I got weaned off of it. Funniest moment on the ventilator: Physical therapist comes around and says, " Hey let's get you up and walking, you think you can?" I nodded and shrugged my shoulders to try and communicate, " sure, ok!" It went totally fine, but there were nursing students, residents, other doctors and who knows who else looking out of rooms and over desks at the two of us just y'know... *walking down the hall*. I gestured to the people because it was just flipping weird. I had an audience at the exact time NOBODY wants an audience and it confused the hell out of me. PT advised me, " there aren't too many times ventilated patients are ambulatory. You're a bit of a curiosity so people want to see."

Once I got out of the ICU and was put back on a regular floor, I got to meet with other doctors re those other diagnoses I mentioned ( chronic things I just have to manage) I also mentioned that it had been a really long time since I had been to a GYN and as had been noted in the ICU I spotted quite frequently ( I have never, ever in my life been regular period-wise and it just got weirder over time, but I just didn't really consider it. So I asked while they were setting me up with new practitioners ( my previous doctor had retired) too please set me top with a gynecologist.

So I'm out of the hospital by September 10th, 2018. The gyro appointment occurs i want to say by mid- to late September. I go in and meet her and she's lovely. While I'm up on the table she says, " hey let's do all the things and get a uterine biopsy!" I say, " excellent, do the things!" We agree it's likely going to be nothing but hey we're smart people and we will play it safe. Huzzah Gyno visit accomplished! (if I were a gamer I'd make some kind of ladybits achievement unlocked now, but I'm not a gamer.)

Two or so weeks go by - or however long it takes to get those test results back (some of these spans are lost in the mists of time). Dr Boyle calls me and apologizes that the test results that she was sure would be nothing... they are not nothing. Turns out, it's endometrial cancer.

At that point you could have knocked me over with a feather. Shells, I wanted my mom to be there so badly, I can't even express it. She would have understood how I felt - she'd been there with her breast cancer. But at the same time, I was glad she wasn't there? I remember how heartsick my mom was to tell Grandmommy when Mom got cancer. I didn't want my mom to have to hear that news, to worry about that. Dr Boyle advised me that she would be referring me to a good oncologist and i should hear from them in a week or two.

Thus began MRIS and PET scans and ultrasounds, and blood work etc. The oncologist diagnosed that he figured I might be stage three, but it depended on my lymph involvement. It brought back memories of when Mom was diagnosed and when she told me she was stage three. I asked my Dad later, "what does that mean?" He told me, " there are only four stages, so what do you think?" This time around I knew what it meant. So, we put me down for surgery November 9th, 2018. That's two days before my birthday - so I joked that I was getting my cancer out for my birthday - hooray! My best friend actually flew in from texas for my surgery ( my best friend is a SAINT, and I love her more than pearls and rubies.)

Best surgery story from this experience: For my total hysterectomy (uterus and ovaries go sayonara and then also two signal lymph nodes in the chain of nodes on either side of the pelvis to se if there is any lymph complication.) I had to be tilted back - so with my head down to move as many organs away from the uterus etc during the laparoscopic procedure. I knew this going in, However, when I woke up back in my hospital room I looked at Bestie and said, " I hurt in places I didn't expect to hurt. Oh wait. My shoulders hurt because they're not used to being weight bearing, but the procedure was laproscopic - so why the heck does my vagina hurt?" Bestie in one of her best moments ever says, " I know why." I replied, " wait, YOU know why MY vagina hurts?!" She said, " yep. So your surgery was supposed to take 3-3.5 hours ended up taking 5 hours instead. Your uterus was really big. The oncologist told us they need up having to cut it in half to pull it out of you." bestie admitted she joked with the oncologist that it was like I had just birthed a baby, he looked back at her (NOT laughing) and said, " yes, that's basically what she did." I laughed so much at that ( i mean i was also well medicated, but still) I told Bestie, " I had a Uterus! Let's call it George!" ( In retrospect I am disappointed in myself that I misgendered my own uterus, I should have called it Georgina.)

So, after healing from the surgery, by about January of 2019 I started two courses (each with a few rounds) of chemo. First came what the doctors and I called "low-pro" chemo - that we did along with radiation. Honestly, though i was making a heck of a lot more bathroom trips, you wouldn't have generally known I was sick. Most of my coworkers had no idea. I just was a bit more tired than usual. After the low pro rounds - then we moved to the bigger guns. Radiation was done but I moved to more significant chemo drugs, This wasn't because things were bad - this was the plan all along :) But I knew the "high-pro" chemo was going to make me lose my hair. THAT was a psychic struggle. I cried so much knowing that was going to happen. I got hats and caps and I even got a very nice wig. I mean, I planned as much as a girl can plan when she hears that news. I even preemptively cut my long hair. It was about half way down my back at that point. So I went in and asked the stylist please braid it and put it in between two hair ties - and then cut it - so i could keep my braid. I couldn't do locks of love anyway as it was colored, and I know it's selfish, but I wanted my hair. So, the hair went from half down my back to a face framing bob. then I just waited. And then in a few weeks it happened. I could put my hands through my hair and easily, painlessly pull it out. I am not a cute bald girl. That's when people KNOW you have something going on.

I was very lucky though, there ended up NOT being lymph involvement, and even the high pro chemo didn't make me nauseous or lose appetite. I did have HORRIBLE bone pain usually the first week after chemo ( i'd get it every three weeks). I learned a hell of a lot from that. I also was able to get some meds to help alleviate it a bit, and I took time from work when the pain was at its worst. But I have never experienced pain like that - where no matter what I did - no position changes helped. Even ice packs or heat pads didn't help or do much. It was just a waiting game, a painful waiting game. Oh also - I learned that IV benadryl is nothing like oral benadryl. IV benadryl is like walking right into a brick wall made of sleep. That stuff knocked me the hell out right quick - amazing.

Right before COVID started and the world shut down I got the flu because my immune system was in the toilet- and so I spent another week in the hospital and except for the bone pain that comes with chemo, you know what is worse than chemo injections? POTASSIUM injections. Among other things, my potassium levels were low and so I got those injections with other meds. Those suckers HURT. they BURN, and so i spent a week in the hospital only to eventually come out and find out the world was starting to shut down from COVID. Not my job at that point, but my oncologist told me, " GO HOME - YOU KNOW YOU ARE IMMUNO COMPROMISED - DON'T STAY AT WORK." So, I went home until about a month after I finished chemo.

Since finishing chemo it's been about scans, which have gone ok so far... I'm not willing to talk about the R word. I just think I'll have to be careful the rest of my life - My mom always said, "once you've gotten cancer, you always have cancer." So, maybe it's the anxiety talking, but it's kind of like waiting for the other cancer shoe to drop. In the mean time though, it's business as usual - try to find good stuff in the midst of the hot mess. Cancer has been a crisis but not a reason to lose my sense of humor. I've needed it more than ever :)

So, sorry for the SERIOUSLY LONG ASS answer, but sometimes it's just better to lay it bare. I'm not ashamed of this stuff. It's been a lot. It's been a journey... It still is... it's part of the rest of my journey, which i hope isn't over by a long shot yet. I don't believe things happen for reasons - the world is WAY too absurd for that in my opinion, BUT good gravy have i been able to learn so much from this whole three ring circus. I'm not grateful for cancer, but I am grateful for the lessons.

Thanks for checking in, Shells. You're a complete sweetheart.

#the r word is remission #cancer funtimes #i really didn't let many people know tbh #not just online #i didn't tell one of my two remaining family members for months #i have very good friends who knew and friends who are like family that supported me #i know it's crazy to say i'm lucky - but i am. i so am.#and if anyone read all of this - you definitely deserve a hug and several cookies. if i had cookies to give i would but i just have hugs

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prettyyyboyluke · 4 years

Text

The Dark Room

you guys asked what the dark room is all about, so, here it is

i was coming back from helping my brother move into his new house. he has horrible taste in furniture, so i was helping him pick out new pieces that compliment the modern home he just bought. once i walked in the door, i expected to see at least calum and michael sitting on the couch playing video games, but no one was in the den. the whole house stood silent. i checked the kitchen, the gym, every room we had on the main floor was empty. i opened the door to the basement, which i wasn’t allowed down there, but i felt like they could be there, since the upstairs was just all of our rooms and the light room. the basement was where the dark room was, and no one except ashton and luke had a key to it. i’ve never even seen what it looks like, i have only passed by it when ashton was having a very interesting conversation to luke and they immediately shut the door, leaving me with questions.

when i came to face the black door, i turned the knob, and to my surprise, it opened. i was met with luke’s dark eyes, clearly watching something very intense on the computer. i heard footsteps in the back of the room, but couldn’t exactly make out who else was in here. i’m assuming it’s ashton, since the other two don’t have access to this room. “what do you think you’re doing down here, angel?” luke asks, getting up from his seat on the bed and walking over to me. “i-i didn’t know where anyone was, so i figured you all might be down here. i’m sorry, i’ll go back upstairs.” i said, a little scared and intimidated to see what punishment could come from this.

i never heard luke’s voice like that before, it was weird, and the amount of dominance and darkness that came from it made me sink immediately. i walked back up the stairs to see who i wanted to see in the first place, calum and michael. “where were you two? i just almost got smacked down there!” i exclaimed running into calum’s arms. “we were in the studio, we just got back. what happened down there?” calum asked, running a hand through my hair. “i didn’t know where anyone was when i got home, so i decided to go look in the basement, and the dark room was open, so like any curious person, i opened it, and luke and ashton were down there. and then luke asked me what i was doing and i was so scared. his voice was so deep, i felt like i was gonna get locked up or something.” i explained, my voice shaking a little bit.

we were all sitting on the couch now, and i was ready to jump out of my skin with every movement i heard. they both just sighed, “you know you’re not suppose to be down there. hell, we don’t even have a key to that room.” michael said, pulling me into his lap. “i know, but, where else was i suppose to look? i know they wouldn’t be in the light room, since we only go in there for pleasure. what even is that room? i never got to ask either of you.” i said, putting my head onto michael’s chest. “when we all decided to be in this relationship, ashton and luke had this idea to build the dark room and the light room. you remember when you had to be out of the house really early in the morning and couldn’t come back until one of them texted you? and how we had that fancy dinner with that contract?” calum began to explain, “yeah, what does that have to do with anything?” i answered. “that’s when they were building the rooms. but then, when you saw them two talking that one day, that’s when they got very protective of it. all four of us have a key to the light room, which is where we do most of our pleasure. and only luke and ashton have a key to the dark room.” he said, michael beginning to speak.

my head lifted from his chest, wanting to know more about this whole thing. “ashton has rules, sweetheart. and we all have to follow them, and if we don’t, we get punished. you’ve been very well behaved these past few weeks, we haven’t needed to punish you.” michael explained. “is that why we always go to the light room when i get a reward?” i asked. “exactly, pretty girl. but, since you broke a rule, a big one too, you might be seeing the dark room sooner than we expected you to.” calum said. “does this mean i have to start calling all of you daddy again? not that i mind, but, now i’m scared.” i whispered to michael. “probably, baby. how about tonight, you sleep with me, that way you’re not too scared to see what happens in the morning.”

the next day, i was completely on edge. luke and ashton had come upstairs for a short period of time, but they did not acknowledge me once. it made my stomach churn and my palms sweat. i had no idea what was coming, if i were to be punished tonight. calum came and knocked on my door telling me that dinner was ready. “i don’t wanna go down there, daddy.” i whispered. “you’ll be fine, pretty girl. i’m not going anywhere, i’ll be with you the whole time. so will michael.” calum reassured me.

when we got downstairs, my eyes looked down to the floor in an instant. “that’s no way to greet us, angel. head up.” luke said sternly. “sorry, daddy.” i muttered. the whole dinner was silent and filled with tension with the only conversation being carried by calum and michael. luke and ashton kept their responses very short, or didn’t say anything at all. as soon as dinner was finished, i stayed back and cleaned up, taking a bit of stress away. “you were a good girl tonight, sweetheart, don’t worry about what luke and ashton are gonna do.” michael came up and whispered, kissing the side of my head.

once everything was cleaned, i headed back up to my room and started getting ready for bed. as soon as i put on a pair of shorts and a bralette, there was a knock on my door. and when i opened it, luke and ashton were standing outside. i didn’t know what to do or say, my mouth opened, but closed immediately. “angel, you’re gonna have to come with us. we all need to talk.” luke said, grabbing my hand and leading me out of my room. i looked back to see if michael or calum was there, but nope, it was just ashton. my heart started pounding so hard i was certain you would be able to hear it.

“you’re about to see what happens to little girls who disobey orders.” ashton finally spoke. we were finally standing in the dark room. calum and michael were sitting on the bed, both with ties in their hands. i looked around, seeing every type of torture device that was available. “you’ve been very curious to see this place, baby doll. and after yesterday, we decided you should finally find out what goes on down here.” ashton said, ushering me further into the room. “this isn’t something we were ready to show you, but after calum and michael told you about it, we figured your pretty mind was racing.” luke said. i didn’t know where to look, this was something i was not ready for in the slightest.

the dark room was red and black. multiple floggers, whips, and riding crops filled up two walls. another had different chains, rope, and tape. there was a big red and black bed in the middle of the room, gold hoops on each of the four bed posts. the ceiling had holes in it so one could be hung from it with special hand cuffs. there was a red latex couch that had candles lit around it, some sort of melting wax for the skin. there was a giant X opposite of the bed that had ties hung from each corner. there were multiple dressers in the room, each filled with different toys. there was another door that lead to another room. “w-what’s in that room?” i asked, pointing to the closed door. “you wanna find out?” ashton asked. i nodded my head and made my way to the door.

this had more whips, more ties, and just more, torture. there was no bed, no couch, but there was some sort of chair that was slouched and had arm rests with cuffs attached to them. and then what really caught my attention was a chair that had a vibrator going through it and black ties attached to all four legs of the chair. across the chair was a one way mirror, i couldn’t see out of it from this end, but on the other end you were able to see a clear view of the chair. the walls were decorated with red lights with sayings on them, along with pictures of all of us. one with calum’s hand around my throat, another with luke pulling my hair up towards his back, michael sucking on my neck, and me lying across ashton’s lap, all in black and white.

YOUR PAIN IS OUR PLEASURE

YOU ASK BEFORE SPEAKING

YOU WILL BE TREATED LIKE A SLUT

IF YOU ACT LIKE A SLUT

i had no idea that when i agreed to this relationship, this is what i would be getting myself into after breaking the big rules. i backed out of the room and closed the door behind me. “enjoy that?” luke asked. “what is all this for?” i asked. “ash, luke, go easy on her, she’s already terrified.” calum said. “you see angel, we have rules for you and we expect you to follow them at all times. the first time you got a glance at this room, ash and i both knew that you wanted to get a closer look. but all of us explicitly agreed that we wouldn’t bring you in here, unless you broke a very big rule. that’s why we always use the light room, it’s much more your speed, and we didn’t wanna corrupt our little girl just yet.” luke said. oh how i wish to be in the light room right now.

“when luke and i were down here yesterday, we never expected to see our little girl walk through those doors.” ashton said. “then, why didn’t you just show me this place the first time i walked by?” i asked. “you weren’t ready, baby doll. but you came in here yesterday, and you broke mine and luke’s number one rule.” ashton replied. “so, am i getting punished now, daddy?” i asked to all four of them. “you have to learn your lesson, angel. and if it ever gets too much, just use our safe word.” luke said. i nodded to his words. “tell us you understand, sweetheart. we need to hear you say it.” michael finally spoke. “i understand, daddy. punish me.”

i have never been punished like this. the only punishment i ever got was a few spankings from ashton, and that was because we were in the heat of the moment. “where should we start?” calum asked. “i think we hang her to the ceiling first, just give her a little taste of being whipped.” luke said. “c’mere pretty girl.” calum beckoned me over. i walked over to him, putting my hands on his shoulders. his hands dipped into the waist band of my shorts, sliding them down my legs, my panties coming with them. they then went to lift up the bra i was wearing. he ran his hand through my hair a few times, making it look a little messier than it was.

my wrists were put through two thick handcuffs, with cushioning on the inside. they were secured against the ceiling and with any movement, they just moved in a jagged motion. ashton came up to me with one of the floggers, “i am going to hit you with this until you ask me to stop, do you understand, doll?” “yes daddy, i understand.” “good girl.” he grabbed the ends of the flogger and hit it against the skin of my back. my body jolted forwards making the handcuffs move with me. i felt this motion for a while until my back was burning. “how does it feel, angel?” luke asked, tilting my chin up so i was looking him in the eyes. it definitely wasn’t as painful as i expected it to be, but they trained me to have a high pain tolerance. “g-good. it’s not as bad as i thought.” i answered. “would you rather have something more painful?” “i-i don’t know. what would it be?” i asked, wanting to know what else they would do.

luke turned to one of the walls and grabbed a thick riding crop. “how about you try this ash, don’t think she looks phased by that flogger.” luke said, handing off the crop to ashton. ashton gladly took it in his hands, coming to face me now. “same rules apply, baby doll.” he said. first, he dragged it around my body, stopping at the insides of my thighs. he slapped the insides of my thighs causing me to moan. “doesn’t feel so good now, does it?” “please, daddy, do it again.” i asked, the pain making me want more. “oh, you want more? do we have a little pain slut we never knew about?” ashton said, repeating his motions. he slip the crop up, resting it against my heat. my hips instinctively bucked upwards.

ashton quickly slapped it against my clit, my legs closing around one another. “ah ah, open up those legs.” calum said, pointing to where my thighs met. i listened to his command, opening my legs again. ashton slapped me once again. my head was thrown back in pleasure, “please, daddy.” “please, daddy what? does it feel good baby?” ashton asked, hitting me for the third time. “yes! it feels so good, fuck.” i cursed. michael came around with nipple clamps. his tongue ran along one, then the other, making them pebble to their full potential. he placed each of them between the silicon covered clams, the chain hanging beneath them. michael then began to tug on the chain while ashton continued hitting my heat with the crop.

“daddy, i-i can’t take it.” i finally admitted. my body was burning with pain and pleasure, my arms were giving out from having them held up for so long, and my legs weak from standing. “wanna get taken down?” luke asked. “yes, please.” i answered. calum came up behind me, unclipping the cuffs from the ceiling. my arms fell to my side quickly, the nipple clams still holding on. luke was tugging on the chain, making me follow him to the couch. “bend over.” ashton whispered in my ear. i placed my hands on the back of the couch, my back arching like i was taught, and legs spread. calum came back with a bottle of lube and a small butt plug. i felt the cold liquid on my second hold, my skin getting goosebumps as it trickled down to my heat. “take a deep breath for me,” calum said, spreading my flesh. i took a deep breath, feeling to cold metal slowly sink into me. a small moan left my lips when it was fully in. “how does that feel, sweetheart?” michael asked. “different, but good.” i said.

i was flipped over, my legs spread with my arms spread as well. “now, we’re going to drip some of this wax on you, and while that’s being done, luke is gonna be holding this vibrator against your clit.” calum said. luke came between my legs, letting the vibrator hit each spot on my thighs, but avoiding where he was going to put it. “daddy please, i want it.” i whined. “you want it, angel? well, bad girls don’t get what they want, they get what daddy gives them.” he said, taking the vibrator away. when luke finally placed the toy on my clit, the wax hit my chest, making me yell. the wax was hardening quickly making calum pour more across my body. my stomach began to tighten and legs were shaking around luke. “is someone gonna cum? is someone gonna ask to cum?” luke asked, holding vibrator against me harder. “yes! please daddy, can i cum? it feels so good, fuck.” i moaned. my hips were riding into the toy, the inside of my walls began clenching down on instinct.

“luke, let her cum, look at her.” michael said from behind him. my head was thrown back, eyes screwed shut, legs shaking, hips rolling, everything that i was being given was making it harder not to orgasm. luke then added two of fingers into my dripping heat, curling them upwards. “oh fuck! daddy, daddy, please, that feels so good!” “you look so pretty angel, go ahead, cum all over my fingers.” luke said, moving his hand faster. my back arched high off the couch, with the plug still inside me and with me clenching around luke’s fingers, it made everything much more pleasurable. “oh my god, fuck! don’t stop, don’t stop!” i moaned, one of my hands now tugging on the chain connected to the clamps.

“that’s a good girl, let it all out for us.” ashton said. i saw stars, my body clearly taking over with the amount of pleasure it was given. once my high came down, luke took the vibrator and fingers off of me. i sat up, taking his hand and bringing them to my lips. i sucked on the juices that were collected by his fingers, swirling my tongue around them. “that’s so fucking hot, angel.” luke moaned. “can i have a kiss, daddy?” i asked, still sucking on his fingers. luke leaned up to me, his lips connecting with mine beautifully. i moaned into the kiss, not having any contact from any of them had me aching for some. i brought my hands up to his hair, my hands getting tangled in his curls. his tongue made its way into my mouth, exploring it like it never has before. i pulled back, taking his bottom lip with me.

“don’t hog her now, luke.” calum spoke from the back. luke finally pulled back, smiling at me. “you’re being such a good girl, doll, what do you want?” ashton asked. “i want your cock daddy, please! i want you to fill me up.” i was begging now for the attention of ashton. “think you deserve it? haven’t even gotten to the fun stuff, doll.” ashton chuckled at my request. “please daddy? i just want your cock, i promise you can do whatever you want to me after.” i said, batting my eyes at him. i’ve noticed that i can easily get what i want with each of them by simply batting my eyes and asking nicely. ashton, of course, being a little harder to convince, but once i pouted my bottom lip, he easily let me have what i want.

“on the bed, doll.” ashton sighed. i had a bit of a skip in my step, finally excited to get attention from him. “someone’s eager, aren’t you?” michael said, coming up to the other end of the bed. he had a blindfold and a cup of ice in his hand. “what’s that for, daddy?” “my little pillow princess* is gonna get a little sensory overload. while ashton fucks you, i’ll be dragging this ice across your body and maybe drip some more wax on you, we won’t tell you when and you won’t be able to see it coming.” he explained. i closed my eyes and let michael put the red fabric around my head. “daddy?” i called out for ashton. “yes, pillow princess?” “am i gonna be tied up?” i asked. “do you want to be tied up?” he asked back. “please?” i said.

now, my hands were being pulled back, i’m assuming to where the gold rings were on the edge of the bed. the rope was definitely softer than i expected it to be. once they were secured, i tugged on them just to see if i would be able to break out of them, but of course, they were stuck. “our little innocent girl doesn’t look so innocent anymore, does she?” calum said. “not at all, first she could take the flogger, next thing we know she’s asking to be tied up.” luke responded. i could hear ashton’s belt buckle come loose making me smile. “haven’t fuck you in so long, baby doll, you gonna be good and take all of daddy’s cock?” “yes daddy, i’ll be a good girl.” i answered back.

ashton tapped the head of cock against me, teasing me just the slightest bit. once he was fully inside me, i could feel the burn of my walls being stretched. he started off slow, his hands grabbing onto my hips, and thrusting in and out. once ashton found his pace, michael placed an ice cube on my collar bone making me gasp. since i was blindfolded, my other senses were heightened. my body shivered once it began to melt, letting the water trickle down my skin. my legs were bent making my thighs touch my stomach, since only my arms were tied up. the new angle making ashton hit deeper inside me. “right there, daddy! oh god please, don’t stop.” i whined. more wax and ice was being dripped onto my body, making everything spin. ashton dipped his head down to my lips, letting an ice cube pass into my mouth.

“look at you, haven’t even fucked you very long and you already look destroyed. what was it baby? the flogger? no, you liked that. bet it was when luke was holding that vibrator to your pretty pussy, wasn’t it?” ashton spoke through grunts. whines were the only thing i could muster while the ice cube was melting in my mouth, water and drool saturating the sheets below my head. when ashton’s hand came to rub my clit, my back arched towards the ceiling. “are you gonna cum, doll? wanna cum all over daddy’s cock?” ashton grunted. i nodded my head and let moans escape my mouth. my legs were threatening to close around ashton’s waist, wanting to cancel out the pleasure. “if you wanna cum, you need to ask, pretty girl.” calum said, removing my blindfold.

i looked at ashton’s eyes, a darker shade of green were met with mine. i sat up as much as i could to watch the euphoric scene happening below my waist. “please, daddy, can i cum?” i asked. “show me what a good girl you are.” ashton said. he held my legs open, and began to pound ruthlessly into me. the room was filled with both of our moans and curses, along with the sound of fluids being exchanged. “oh god, daddy, thank you!” i could feel myself floating. ashton put his thumb in my mouth, making my jaw slack open. my hips were bucking up to his, his thrusts becoming sloppy once he was closer to his high. “atta girl, c’mon, scream for us.” luke praised.

i felt a tingle in every part of my body, letting nothing but pleasure run through me. i could feel ashton’s cock twitch inside me, wanting to keep going, but ultimately couldn’t. “god, you feel so fucking good, princess. fuck, do that again.” ashton moaned. when ashton’s high was at his peak, he pulled himself out of me and let his load loose across my body. both of us caught our breath, eyes closed, chests heaving. his lips gave a long kiss before pulling back. the ties on my wrists were loosed, and there was a mark where i was tugging on them. “such a good girl, you want more?” michael asked. “please, daddy. i want your mouth.” i said.

michael wasted no time in pulling my hips down to his lips. his tongue made one long stride up my heat. still sensitive from my last orgasm, my legs closed around his head. one of his arms held one of my legs open, while the other one was pushing down on my stomach. his tongue repeatedly licked my clit. with the pressure on my stomach and his tongue enclosing around the bundle of nerves, my breath hitched in my throat. my hands were twisting the sheets below us, making more of a mess than i already have. michael snuck one of his down to push the plug further into me. “oh god! daddy, do that again!” i moaned. michael repeated his actions, pushing and pulling the plug in and out of my second hole, while his tongue continued to lick my clit. “yes, yes, please. god, i wanna-” my words were cut short when michael wrapped his whole lips around my clit.

i felt the same tightening in my stomach for the third time. my legs were spazzing around michael’s head, my knuckles turning white from twisting the sheets, my back arched higher than it ever has been before. i could feel something in my stomach threatening to spill out of me. michael rode me through my third orgasm of the night, and when he came up from my legs, his chin was soaked. “made you squirt, baby.” he said, wiping his chin. my cheeks were already hot, but now they were burning. “i-i didn’t even know i could do that.” i whispered.

i could feel my body get tired, and luke and calum hadn’t even had their turn with me. i sat up from the bed, and calum came up to me. “what do you say we take that plug out of you, and replace it with something bigger.” he said. “can you take off the clamps first, daddy? they’re starting to hurt.” i pouted. “that’s the point angel, but i guess we’ll take em off.” luke said. once the clamps were finally removed from my nipples, i could tell they were sensitive. calum had me laid back on the bed again, and was kissing down my body. stopping at my breasts, and taking each nipple into his mouth. his tongue soothing the pain over them. he gingerly let his tongue roll over them, letting my body gain some consciousness to it.

he then slowly took the plug out of me. he grabbed the bottle of lube again, giving both of us a generous layer before he slid his cock into me. “oh, shit. w-wait, daddy.” i breathed. “you alright, pretty girl?” he asked. “yes, just go slow.” i whispered. calum met my request and slowly moved in and out of me. he was holding one of my legs against him, the other bent on the bed. “that’s it, pretty girl, you’re doing so well for me.” calum moaned. this was such a new feeling, i had no idea what to expect. but, it felt good nonetheless. one of hands began to rub my clit, making the pleasure intensify more. “swallowing my cock so well, look at that.” he moaned. it was a very lazy and slow pace, but i was happy with it.

“daddy, i’m almost there.” i moaned. “don’t worry, ‘m gonna get you there pretty girl.” both of my legs were now around calum’s shoulders. i felt myself start to unravel again, my hand becoming lazy and let calum take over. just small moans were now leaving my lips, i could barely muster a sentence together. “daddy, please,” i whispered. “almost there, pretty girl, c’mon you can do it.” calum encouraged. my whole body was tired, with the slightest rush of energy going through it. “oh god, yes daddy,” i finally felt the intense pleasure point that i was craving. “there she is, c’mon pretty girl, let daddy have it.” calum moaned, his own high hitting him as well. calum’s entire body shudders, back muscles flexing and biceps growing taut. he collapses on top of me, face tucking into the crook of my neck, pulling me close as he bottoms out. “fuck me.” he groggily moans.

my body was exhausted, i was sure i wouldn’t be able to walk tomorrow. calum gets off of me, leaving me on the bed. “angel, look at me.” luke whispers, running a hand through my hair. my eyes lazily open to him, seeing him smile down at me. “you okay? we took a lot out of you.” he said. “i’m good, didn’t use the safe word, did i?” i giggled. “no angel, you didn’t. i bet you’re extra sensitive right now, gonna let daddy have a look?” he asked. as much as i wanted to have luke fuck me into next week, i don’t think my body could take a fifth orgasm.

but, i opened my legs always for him. he was now laying on his stomach, arms wrapped around my legs, and pulling me closer to him. “it’s so pink, bet your legs will shake if i touch you, hmm?” he whispered, prepping kisses along my thighs. and he was right, when his thumb lazily started rubbing my folds, my legs shook and closed around his hand. “can you give daddy one more, angel? we’ll be done after this, and then we can take care of you.” he said, fingers already pushing my folds apart. “okay daddy, one more.” i mumbled.

he brought his fingers up to his lips, letting his saliva coat them before bringing back down to my heat. he slowly moved them against my walls with his head resting against the insides of one of my thighs. “does it feel nice, angel?” “mmhm.” “you know, you look so pretty like this.” he prepped kisses on my thighs. i was biting down on one of my fingers, just letting luke do everything to me. “daddy, i wanna cum, please, make me cum.” i begged. “don’t worry angel, daddy’ll get you what you need.” he said. his lips pecked at my clit making my hips buck towards him. “not so fast angel, let daddy do all the work.” he said. “i’m sensitive daddy, please, i’m so close.” i whimpered.

luke’s pace was only quickened the slightest bit, his fingers curling upwards again. i let a long moan out, having nothing more in me to beg. “there you are, angel, give me this last one.” he moaned with me. my walls clenched around his fingers again, my stomach now tightening up for a fifth time with the tingling sensation that i got earlier. “daddy, daddy, yes, god, please.” i moaned very quietly. once i finally released for the last time tonight, i wanted to fall asleep right on that bed.

“you are such a good girl, baby. might be a little bit of a pillow princess, but such a good girl.” ashton praised, picking me up from the bed.

so that’s the dark room.

---

tag list: @calum-uncrowned @wildflowerirwin @haikucal @calumftduke @bettermcn

also thank you @floral-suits for originally helping me come up with this idea, and talking about it with harry

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baeklination · 3 years

Text

bartender love pt.3

Date:210611

Warnings: ANGST, mental health (unnamed) , unease about sex (not very detailed or long), g.e.l.

Pairing: Kyungsoo x F.Reader

WC: 6,2k

NOTE: I know... But, save for a 1 week break, I'm gonna try to stick with this one.

pt.1 pt.2 Masterlist

¤¤

Going on three months you and Kyungsoo still had as much fervor for one another as in the beginning, only now it was cemented by a comfortable knowing of each other; you knew it could take him hours to reply to a text, but it’d be something sweet when he did; he knew you could seem a bit blasé when he asked you to come over, but you’d be as happy about seeing him as ever. There had really only been one thing that had bothered you (save his underwhelming cooking skills). You’d told yourself that it wasn’t a big deal, yet it kept playing in your mind, that time, a few days ago when he woke you up in the middle of the night:

You woke up by him kissing your shoulder and stroking your breasts, waist and legs. Sluggishly turning around, he was on top of you just as you opened your eyes, continuing with the kisses.

“Shit, Kyung, slow down, I’m not even awake yet”, you said, not minding his actions, but rather his pace.

“You’re plenty awake, Y/N”, he said excitedly, making you chuckle. “You’re not wet yet.”

You weren’t a stranger to the saliva solution, but up until now it’d been reserved for the quickies - the bathroom at a party, a dark alley, the laundry room - so for him to spit in his hand and use it as lube instead of waiting caught you off guard.

“I’ve been awake for an hour thinking about fucking you”, he breathed in your ear as he pressed himself in. “Shh, shh, relax…”, he prompted when he felt how tense you were.

“I haven’t been up an hour, Kyung…”

“You’re right, sorry”, he said and pulled out a bit. “I have to be careful with my precious baby.”

“What..?”

“Well you are...”, he cooed, while kissing you “...my baby.”

“I’m not a baby.”

“Oh, really...?”

He started moving his hips slowly, feeling much less resistance than before.

“Then why do you like it so much?”

The sex was great, per usual, but how it started out had left you feeling...something. You hadn’t even told Iseul about it. If it happened again you would. But since then he’d been the same cute and caring guy you’d come to know him as. Sitting at the end of the bar, waiting for his shift to end you smiled to yourself at the girls batting their eyelashes at him “Damn, you having a seizure or summin’?”

Your phone buzzed - there was a text message from him: “Can I kiss you in 5 seconds?” You looked up to see him counting down with his fingers, taking big steps towards you. When he reached zero you nodded.

“You may.”

He held up a menu, blocking the view to the rest of the room:

“Privacy screen”, he smiled before pressing those plush lips against yours.

Walking home together, there was a chill in the air not usual for this time of year, and seeing you shiver Kyungsoo put his jacket over your shoulders.

"Did you see that in a movie and think that's a great move, gotta try it?", you teased him, laughing all the while.

"What! I was being a gentleman..!"

"Alright…", you held your hands up in defeat. "I guess there's a first time for everything."

"You're such a..!", he exclaimed, pulling you in by your shoulder and giving you a kiss on the head.

There are two things - opposites really - you love about being as close with Kyungsoo as you are. One is being able to have hour-long conversations about miscellaneous issues, like narwhals and the making of milk cartons; the other is being silent, like now.

If you could only choose one, holding hands would win, but having your arm around his waist, your hand just under his t-shirt to feel his warm skin isn't bad either.

"Hey, do you think I could walk the whole way there?", he asked, pointing his finger when you came to the bridge.

"What, the railing?"

"Mm-hm."

"Technically… If you're not afraid of heights."

"I'm not. So you think I can?"

"Can? No, I don't think you can, 'cus only an idiot would try to."

"Am I?", he asked with a mischievous smile that made your throat tight.

"Stop it, Kyung."

"Wanna bet? Ten bucks says I can."

"Are you serious? No. No, I don't wanna bet, I wanna cross the bridge on the ground like normal people."

"Guess I'm not normal then", he said and jogged to the railing.

"Jesus Christ, can you just stop fucking around..."

You were sure he was yanking your chain, but when he started heaving himself up on the ledge you realised he was going to try.

"Ta-da..!", he said triumphantly, stretching his arms out. "It's barely five metres down, I wouldn't die if I fell in."

His stupidity didn't just scare you - it angered you - but you didn't want to shout at him while he was up there.

"It's not the fall that kills you, it's the undercurrent."

"I guess that's what it'll say on my tombstone", he laughed as he started walking. "It was the undercurrent…"

"Can you just get down?", you pleaded, feeling a burning behind your eyes. "Please. You're scaring me, Kyung. Kyung!"

When he didn't say anything is when you'd had enough.

"Fine! I guess you are a fucking idiot", you hissed, picking up the pace to leave him behind. "Here's your fucking jacket", you continued, throwing it on the ground.

"Come on, Y/N..!", Kyungsoo chuckled. "You're cute when you're mad."

His whole demeanour baffled you. He'd always had a carefree up-for-anything attitude to things, but he was never outright stupid. And the fact that he wouldn't come down when you asked when his soft nature had always been his strongest trait… There was a clank followed by a yelp from Kyungsoo - your stomach turned to a vacuum, heart in your throat, as you spun around, ready to hear the splash of him hitting the water.

But there he sat, swinging his legs on either side of the railing. He burst out laughing.

"You should see your face..!" He jumped down and clapped his hands, still laughing. "You thought I went over, right..!"

Still reeling from the shock of thinking he had fallen, his mockery sent you into a rage - now you had half a mind to shove Kyungsoo off the goddamn ledge yourself.

"What the fuck's wrong with you?!", you screamed at the top of your lungs, barely recognizing your own voice.

"Jeez, calm down, babe", he snorted and put his arms up to pull you in.

"Fucking idiot", you spat at him and shoved him in the chest.

"Stop being such a rabbit”, he frowned and tried again. “I-”

“Don’t fucking touch me”, you warned him and swatted his hand away.

“Jeez... Okay, I’m sorry, alright? Let’s just go home. I bet you’ll forget all about it once we’re in bed...”

You were flabbergasted.

“Yeah, well that’s another dumb bet you’ll loose. You’re not coming with me.”

“Come on, Y/N-”

“Leave it.”

He looked at you for a moment then lifted his hands in defeat.

“Alright…” When he turned to get his jacket he chuckled. “Fucking downer…”

You didn’t want to talk to Kyungsoo during the following two days. Ironically though, not hearing from him had stressed you out all the more. Going from is he angry with me now to what if he went up on the railing again and fell? You didn’t believe any of those things, but it didn’t stop them from picking away at your mind. That you hadn’t spoken to Iseul about it probably hadn’t helped - this is exactly the type of situation one needs friend therapy for. You didn’t want to admit it to yourself, but you were embarrassed, without even knowing what about; it’s not as if she thought he was perfect - or better yet - that everyday of her relationship with Tony had been a Hallmark card. Was it because you had gone on and on and on about him only to now think that maybe you don’t know Kyungsoo that well at all? Whatever it was you trusted she’d sort it out for you as you poured her a glass.

“Damn, white wine… What happened?”

“Aeh...nothing”, you sighed and grimaced.

“Sceptical Iseul is not convinced…”

“Of course she isn’t. I don’t wanna have to tell you - but I want you to know...”

“Kyung..?”

“Yeah”, you nodded and frowned. “Fuck it.”

So you told her what had happened on the bridge, start to finish, not trying to make yourself out as having been sweet and sensible; if anything, you sugarcoated Kyungsoo’s behaviour, so she wouldn’t hold it against him in the future.

Iseul pursed her lips and knitted her brows.

"Hm… Is it that bad, though?"

"Agh..! You don't think so?"

"He was an idiot, for sure, and I get why you're angry, but I thought you were gonna tell me something major. You know how guys, not even guys - people - are. Out of the blue they do some weird shit", she said, shrugging her shoulders. "Or are you seriously thinking of ending it over this..?"

You had a knot in your stomach. You knew you had to tell her about when he'd woken you up.

"No. But I'm worried it might be a part of something else, his true self or something …", you sighed, making byunny ears. "The other night. He…" You paused, trying to find a segway in. "I don't know, he…"

Iseul's eyes narrowed as she leaned slightly forward.

"Did something...", you said, fidgeting with the seam of your trousers.

She put her glass down and looked you dead in the eye, her chest rising high with nervousness.

"What do you mean "he did something"?"

"Listen. I didn't think it was a big deal when it happened, so I didn't tell him."

"Okay…"

"I mean, it's not like I brought it up to him and he's had a chance to explain himself - it. It's been sitting uneasily on my mind, is all, alright?"

"You're making me uneasy. Just tell me."

If you said it out loud it would be fact and real, instead of your bothersome secret.

"Agh! Okay", you sighed loudly. "He woke me up the other night, last week, wanted to have sex. But you know how you are when you wake up like that, you need a minute to understand that you're even up, right? And if your head needs a minute…", you trailed off, raising your brows demonstratively.

"Your body needs two", Iseul filled in. "Yeah, course."

"But he didn't...care? He just spat and tried to do it anyway-"

"Wait", she said, and went still. "Are you telling me that he-"

"No. NO", you said sternly, grabbing her wrists. "NOT THAT. I swear. God, Jesus, the saints, it wasn't like that, Is. It was just...", you shook your head, yourself still not being able to put words nor feelings to it properly. “It was…”

“Not right..?”

“Yeah. It was just not right. But he didn’t like...force it, when I told him to slow down. It was normal after that, so I don’t know… Do you get why I’m- no wait. He called me baby.”

“He always says that to you, doesn’t he?”

“No, it was more like that.”

“Like daddy baby?”

“Yeah. He’s never done that. Maybe he’s wanted to, but didn’t know how to ask, but with the whole thing and now this...fucking bridge thing…”

“I think you should talk to him about it, all of it. What? What’s with the face?”

“I thought you were gonna fly off the handles when I told you. You know how nervous I’ve been..!”

“Few years ago I prolly would have…”, she smiled, and took her first sip in a long time.

“Ah, Tony calmed you down?”

“More like Tony taught me people are allowed some fuck-ups… Not just him, me too. Things can snowball so fast. If we hadn’t started talking - or listening - we wouldn’t have made it. ‘Cus...you don’t wanna break up- wait! You’re not officially a couple are you..!”

“No, we're not, Mrs Tony. And no, I don’t.”

“Well, then it’s simple, if not easy. There might be something going on with him that he’s not saying, you know. If you manage to get your foot in the door maybe he’ll let you in, hun.”

“Ah..! Now you made me wanna call him now, forgive and have sunsets and roses..!”, you wailed.

“Fuck that. He apologizes first, you hear?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be angry again in an hour. Thanks.”

“Before we go all sunset… If you ever feel not comfortable with sex, don’t do it.”

“I know.”

“No, I’m serious. Trying new things, you do for him, he does for you, sure. But never do it so he won’t be in a pissy mood, or whatever. That shit will fuck with your selfworth so bad you don’t even know...“

“Mm… I guess I just don’t know how to broach the subject…”

“Do you trust him? Apart from being mad at the moment?”

“Yeah. Yes.”

“Then start with some Dr. Phil shit “Kyungsoo, I trust and lo-”. Iseul stopped mid-sentence and looked at you with glittering eyes. “Do you love him?”

“Go on with your Dr. Phil.”

“Do you? Come on, you do..!”

“Go. On”, you said, trying to be stern, but breaking into a smile.

“Kyungsoo, I trust and may love-”

“Oh, shut up, Is..!”, you hollered. “See, this is why I always regret telling you things…”

“You didn’t even tell me anything”, Iseul affirmed innocently, putting her hands up.

“Yaic… Give me the damn bottle, and let’s talk about something else.”

“Cheers to that. Let’s leave anger behind. Let’s talk about…”, she giggled, and you knew precisely what was coming “...loooove.”

Iseul was your best friend in everything.

Another two days passed and as predicted, your anger came back. As you lay down to sleep after your shift, the day just getting started with a pale blue on the horizon, you continued the three-stop circle you'd been on for a few hours: blazing irritation, want, anxiousness. You grabbed your phone and open the inbox to read the text for the umpteenth time:

"I MISS YOU! COME DOWN, I'M WORKING!"

Your heart had skipped a few beats when you read the first part, but went stone cold when you read the rest. Or rather; when you didn't read what you should have - an apology. Incensed is the perfect way to put it, and of course you hadn't done yourself any favours by going over it again and again, in a sense deciding what Kyungsoo was thinking (that there was nothing to apologise for) instead of sticking with the facts (he said he misses you and wants to see you). That part is what had you feeling restless, thinking maybe you shouldn't have ignored him; even seeing his missed call you could've texted him to let him know you were at work. But then again, why should you? Why should you come running as soon as he snaps his fingers - especially after all this time without a beep from him? And that's how you went until you dozed off.

You couldn’t tell how long you’d slept, but judging by the dark shadows still stretching out from the corners of your room it wasn’t very long. You looked around, ears pointed, to figure out what had awoken you.

“Y/N..!”

It was coming from outside. Throwing your covers to the side you got up and peeked out through the curtains. Sitting on the grass below your apartment was Kyungsoo.

“For fucks sake…”, you swore under your breath as you opened the window. “What!?”, you hissed.

“Y/N..!”

When he got to his feet and brushed himself off he stumbled: he was - as they say - as drunk as a skunk. As if your patience wasn’t already wearing thin he continued shouting.

“Open the door..! I miss-”

“Shh! People are trying to sleep..!”

“So let me in!”

If not for anything else than to make sure your neighbours didn’t call the cops on you, you hurried down the stairs and let him in.

The sweet smell of alcohol surrounding him nauseated you, so you kept your distance as he was kicking off his shoes in the hallway.

“Why didn’t you go home?”

“I wanted to see you. Why didn’t you come down to the bar?”

There’s no point in arguing with an intoxicated person, so you gave work as your excuse.

“I was working too, but I still made time for you”, he said like a little know-it-all, bobbing his head, squinting with one eye.

“How much did you drink, Kyung? Henki isn’t even open this late…”

“Not enough. We went to Andrew’s place.” He paused to swallow a burp. “And then I missed you, so now I’m here..!”

“Dandy… Well, I just got back, I have to sleep”, you said and went back to your bedroom.

“Does that mean no sex?”

You bit your tongue, careful not to give him the earful you so desperately wanted to.

“Mm-hm…”

“That’s okay”, he said and slumped down on the bed. “We’ll be sexless from- oh, shit!”

They way he hurried out the door you knew what was coming - literally. Luckily you heard the lid smack open before the retching. You were annoyed as hell that he’d come over, and the sounds coming from the bathroom made you cringe - but it also made you feel sorry for him, and remember what Iseul had said about patience.

“Where’s my…”, he groaned, then stopped to spit.“Where’s my toothbrush..?”

He looked so pitiful where you found him, sat grimacing on the floor.

“Are you sure you’re done?”

“Yes”, he nodded with his eyes closed. “I just wanna go to bed.”

“Here”, you said, holding out his toothbrush, pasted and ready.

His eyes had become glossy, making him look almost like a seal when he looked up at you. You sat down with him as he brushed his teeth and felt the ice thaw.

A bit more lucid, but tired and somewhat slurring his words he crawled under the covers.

"I'm so glad you're not still mad."

"I am", you sighed tiredly.

He stopped mid-motion of putting his arm around you, letting it rest on your hip instead.

"Why'd you let me in?"

"The cops..?"

"Don't be mad at me, Y/N", he whined. “Please…”

"I won't be", you replied and pulled his arm up around you.

The sweet vapors of drink still surrounded him, but the feeling of his body enveloping you one-upped them. When you're used to sleeping with someone's chest on your back, being without is like going without a safety blanket. The scolding could wait til the morning.

Getting over a fight, finally seeing each other, has a way of shining the brightest light on things, making them new. As you lay listening to Kyungsoo’s breathing, his stuffy nose irregularly whistling, all traces of anger seemed to have vanished. That is not to say the issue had, but you thought the best course would be to actually talk, not berate.

When you started tracing the lettering on his back his shoulder blades pushed together as if it tickled.

“Good morning. Day”, you said and scooted closer.

To your disappointment - albeit not total surprise - he pulled the covers over his head when you put your arm around his waist. Not what you were hoping for after so many days apart.

“Did the nightly prince turn into a hungover frog?”, you snickered. “Hey”, you said in a softer voice, but you could see the silhouette of his hand moving up to his head. “I’ll get you something for your head and make some broth. You need something in your stomach.”

You’d been there a few times yourself; headache so bad you think you’ll never be able to stand on your feet again and nausea so bad you feel you never want to eat again. One fed the other, so starting off with the soup from insta-noodles was perfect - it could be downed in a few mouthfuls and it restored your salt levels. In an hour or two he’d manage to get some fruits and coffee down.

But when you went back to see if he was ready for more you found he hadn’t even finished half of it, seemingly swallowed the pills and rolled around to your side of the bed. You opened the window a bit, hoping the fresh air would make him feel better, before kneeling down by the bed. His hand was peeking out so you held it lightly.

“I put some coffee and nectarines on the table here”, you whispered. “I know you feel sick, but you’ll feel better if you eat. I’m working tonight, and going over to Is in a few hours. You can stay, but I’d worry less if you got a little better before I leave, Kyung.”

When he didn’t say anything you sighed in compassion, kissed him on the hand and let him rest.

He hadn’t eaten anything before you left - nor responded to any of your texts or calls from work - so it was with pity, worry, and determination to get him to eat you opened the door. It was dark in the hallway with only a faint light coming through from the living room window. It wasn’t without some despondency, not having spent actual time with him, you flicked on the lights and looked at the floor to see if he had dropped your spare key through the mail drop like you said. Not seeing it you got a little excited - had he kept it, claimed it, as his?; did that mean you would be getting one in return next time?

When you took your shoes off, you realised that the chill you’d felt on your body and chucked down to you being tired, extended to the floor - it was freezing cold. The radiator was warm to the touch.

“Kyung…”, you sighed.

Guessing he must’ve forgotten to close the window, the thought of laying down in the iced bed made you groan as you turned the corner and braced yourself to go in. The door was closed. He can’t still be here, you frowned. The temperature drop gave you goosebumps in a second and seeing Kyungsoo did nothing to warm you up; exactly as you had left him, there he lay.

“Jesus, Kyung, it’s freezing in here”, you exclaimed, and hurried to close the window.

When you turned on the lamp on the nightstand you saw he hadn’t taken a bite or sip.

“Haven’t you be-”

You stopped dead in your tracks when you saw the look of him. He had the covers pulled up to his eyes, but you could see clear as day that he was drained; his skin had an almost greyish hue to it and his eyes were tired, zoned out.

“What’s the matter?”, you asked, putting your hand on his forehead to see if he was running a fever. He shrunk away from it and turned, making you all the more worried. “Hey…”

You tried soothing him by caressing his back, but he curled his shoulders with dislike and grunted something sounding like “no”, or maybe “don’t”. Realising it was the same thing he'd done in the morning you got worried - scared - for real, thinking this wasn't just some metaphysical hangover. What do I do? Call the emergency services? Loey. What if he doesn't want me to? Shit. Call Loey. You sat motionless, staring at his back for what seemed like an eternity. You wanted so badly to touch him, to hug him, but it obviously made him feel worse. Why… Gathering courage you went to find his trousers, feeling the pockets for his phone.

"Kyung… I'm gonna call Loey. I… Can you tell me if you don't want me to?"

Perhaps it was nothing more than a slow blink, but it could’ve been an OK.

You paced back and forth in the living room, swallowing nothing from your dry mouth, as you waited on Loey to pick up. What if he didn't think it was a big deal, or understand what you were talking about, what then?

"Radio night love with Loey, what's on your mind, caller?", he answered jovially.

"Eh, hi, Lo'. It's Y/N."

"Oo?"

"Yeah, I don't know… I think something's wrong with Kyung. He's-"

"Wrong how? Are you- where are you?" The change in his tone meant he knew what this was.

"At home, he's just lying there-"

"Okay, I'm coming."

"What should I do? He hasn't even eaten in a day."

"Don't worry, I'll be there in 20. Just let him be."

You waited for Lo' on the bedroom floor; sitting out of Kyungsoo's view so he wouldn't feel watched. Having Lo' take control of the situation made you feel both better and worse: he obviously knows what to do - which means it's likely this has happened before. And will happen again. Thinking back on the past two weeks, you see it so clearly now - so fucking clearly. Did I make it worse by fighting with him? Could I have stopped it if I'd caught- the phone rang in your hand. Finally, Loey was downstairs.

"Has he been weird, hyper?", he asked, keeping you in the stairwell.

"Yeah. I thought he was just…", you throw your hands up. "Acting a little wild, having extra energy. We had a fight last week, so I hadn't seen him until last night."

The guilt of having shut him out overwhelmed you and your tears started pouring freely from your eyes. “I should’ve known something was wrong, instead of just-”

"Hey. Hey, hey…", Lo' tried to calm you down, grabbing your shoulders. "It's not your fault. If anything it’s mine, for not knowing he was lying to me...", he sighed.

“Lying..?”

“I asked him if he was off his meds last week. I should’ve fucking known he was lying, he wasn’t just in a good mood. I didn’t get back until a few hours ago so I couldn’t check either. Is he sleeping?”, he asked, and continued up the stairs.

“I don’t know…”

Off his meds?

“Can I talk to him alone?”

“Mm. I’ll…”, you trailed off, but walked towards the kitchen.

“Hi buddy…”, you heard him say in his deep, low voice before closing the door.

You could hear a faint rustling of the covers and gathered Kyungsoo was at least reacting to Loey. Thank god.

You hadn’t waited very long when Loey came back out. He sighed and tried to put on a brave face.

“We’re gonna go. I’m taking him to the hospital…”

“Oh… Can’t you take him home, give him his meds?”, you asked, feeling small and dumb.

“Not with this”, he said, pointing backwards. “He knows he has to.”

“Yeah… Of course. Um…”

“We should go…”, he said awkwardly and turned around.

“Lo’… Will he get back to normal?”

“Yeah, don’t worry. I’ll call you when we’re done, okay?”

When they came out, Kyungsoo was fully dressed. The clothes that yesterday represented a very drunk and stupid Kyungsoo were now doused in helplessness. You could see that everything was heavy for him; standing up, waiting. For a split second the haze covering his eyes was lifted and they were clear as day - for a split second you saw utter despair. You pressed your body hard against the wall to stop yourself from moving, holding your arms crossed tight.

Loey looked around the hallway, lifting up your clothes.

“His jacket..?”

“He didn’t have one”, you said, remembering how cold it was.

“Here", he said, pulling off his own sweater and dressed Kyungsoo in it. "It's bad enough without you catching a cold."

Kyungsoo seemed to let Loey do what he wanted, like a child who's done crying and tiredly agrees to everything. Selfishly, you wished he'd responded to you like that instead of being uncomfortable with your touch.

"Okay, let's go", he said and opened the door. "I'll...call you later."

Through the window you could see them getting in the car; Loey's hand reaching out to put the seatbelt on Kyungsoo. As they drove off towards the paler sky you shivered and breathed out slowly. Don't cry. You heard Lo', he's gonna be fine. Blinking your tears back down you decided there wasn't much else to do than go to bed - unless you wanted to stay up and stay worried - so you washed up and went to lie down. There was a whiff of his scent whenever you moved the covers or pillow, making it impossible to banish the thoughts completely; and so you fell asleep with a ghost in your body, clutching your phone waiting for Loey's call.

You were startled awake by the heavy guitar riffs blasting in your ears.

“Yeah…”, you grunted, still drunk with sleep.

“Shit, did I wake you? It’s Lo’.”

“No”, you said, rubbing your eyes. “I mean yes. How’d it go? How is he?”

As soon as you got your bearings, the somersaults in your stomach were back at it.

“Eh, he’s...not fine, I mean, you saw him. But at least he’s sleeping now”, he sighed, worn out not just by this night’s event, but every night like this.

“Where is he?”

You were desperately hoping Loey would say he was with him at home, but it didn’t come as a surprise when he explained Kyungsoo had been admitted to the hospital and would be staying there for some unknown amount of time. Understanding you didn’t know what - or how - to say or ask, he tried his best to put your mind at ease.

“He’ll be back, Y/N. It’s like he says, just a glitch in his matrix. He’s pretty sedated now-”

“Sedated?”, you burst out. “What do you mean? He was calm when you left..?”

“No, not sedated. It’s a side effect from the drugs he takes to avoid worse ones from his real meds. He gets tired, sleeps all the time. He’ll be up in a few days.”

“Shit, you scared me", you exhaled heavily. "Are you allowed to visit him?"

"Yeah, sure. His mum will call once he's up. You want me to go with you?"

"Should I go?"

Judging by the silence on the other end of the line, Loey was surprised at your question.

"I mean, maybe he doesn't want me to come? He never told me about this. I don't want him to be embarrassed…"

"He won't be."

"Okay, maybe not embarrassed, but like he wants to tell me himself when he's ready, you know. If he knows you've already told me-"

"He's not like that", Loey interjected. "What was he gonna say? That he just had a bad hangover, come on. He'll be happy to see you."

"You sure? What if...ai, I don't know..."

"I'll ask him when I see him, alright?"

"If he says it's okay, yeah, I'll go."

"He's not gonna dump you over it. He was gonna tell you anyway."

"He was..?"

"Of course he was. You couldn't very well get hitched without him letting you know, could he?"

"Hitched? Married? Eh, I think we're a few years away from that carnival, Lo'…", you brushed it off, but couldn't help smiling to yourself.

"That's what the kids always say… All I'm saying is he's nuts about you and I know he'd like it if you came by. Unless..?"

"Uh-uh, no. If he says yes, just you try to stop me", you said energised.

"That's the spirit, Y/N..! But one more thing…"

"What?"

"What you think of my new hair?"

You could tell he was grinning, trying to lighten up the heavy mood.

"Oh, shit. You're blonde!", you shouted, suddenly realising he'd dyed his hair. "Shit, Lo'..! It looks good."

“I wasn’t sure about it myself, but one of the other roadies convinced me to try it.”

“Did this roadie happen to be a woman, Lo’..?”

He laughed and cleared his throat.

“I’m not saying she wasn’t...”

“You two…”, you sighed and felt the absence of Kyungsoo. “You okay?”

“Me? I’m tough as nails, an iron man. Honestly, if I’m not freakin’ out, you don’t have to.”

“I guess… Yeah, you’re right. Thanks. Call when you hear something?”

“No doubt. Bye.

“Bye.”

A part of you wanted the elevator to malfunction so you’d be stuck between floors, unable to see him. Ever since waking up, the scales of excitement vs. nerves had slowly been shifting towards nerves and every time the digits on the monitor changed the buzzing in your body increased. You knew - or at least thought - that it was just a matter of getting the first awkward moments out of the way, but logic was apparently not applicable to this situation. You rubbed your sternum with your knuckles, hoping to relax the electrified lump you had in there, but as soon as the elevator pinged you knew it was no point, you’d simply have to walk in there, ready or not.

As soon as you came up to the desk a kind-faced nurse looked up from her seat. Reassurance.

“Hello..!”

“Hi. Eh, I’m here to visit someone..?”

“M-hm. Who?”

“Kyungsoo”, you answered, again somehow making it sound like a question.

“Hm, okay, let me see here”, she said, and fiddled with the computer in front of her. “Ah, here it is. 4 PM with Kyungsoo...and your name is…”

“Y/N.”

“Y/N. Yep, that’s right. Let me just see he’s not sleeping”, she said, getting up.

In a sudden onset of self consciousness you looked in the window of the entrance door to make sure you looked okay; straightening out your already straight shirt; fixing your hair that looked exactly the same as it had done. When the nurse came back down the hallway and nodded you almost liquified. But it didn’t last long, because peeking out from the room, there he was. After a quick scan his eyes found you and he smiled shyly, but widely. If there is ever a good sort of punch to the stomach, this was that. Like sitting outside when the clouds suddenly give way to the sun to warm your face. There was no way you looked normal walking, not with the way your wobbly legs felt they were gonna give out any moment. But if he noticed anything he didn’t remark on it as he shuffled inside to let you in. He stretched his arms out a little, but brought them back to his side, chuckling. He was as nervous as you were.

“Hi…”

You didn’t say anything, laughed a bit, and went to hug him. His embrace was as before: you could feel he was strong; the contours of his chest against your cheek, his arms reaching round your shoulders - but he was also gentle. The sweet-sticky smell had vanished, and you could smell him, warm Kyungsoo.

"Can I kiss you..?", he whispered.

You nodded, your head still against his chest, eyes closed.

"You better…"

He blew out a giggle through his nose and cupped your face as you turned towards him. Warm Kyungsoo. So soft you registered the way his lips were pushed down as he pressed them against yours, the tickle of his upper lip over yours. His tongue tasted exactly like it should. Too soon did he break the kiss to hug you tight.

"Ugh, I'm so glad you came…", he sighed. "Do you wanna sit outside? I've got a balcony."

"Ocean view?"

"You bet", he said, and took your hand to guide you. "Do you want something to drink, eat?", he asked, filling up a glass of water.

"No, I'm fine. I had a late lunch."

The balcony was barely 4 square ft., with a pair of those white plastic chairs. Looking behind, beyond the banister, there wasn't much of anything; a few trees in a pretty rundown playground, and a seemingly abandoned warehouse. He put his glass on the edge and declared:

"There..! Ocean view", as he sat down.

"Not really what I expected…"

"I'm sorry to disappoint you", he smiled.

It was meant as a joke, but it shifted the energy profoundly. There was a tug in your gut. Kyungsoo frowned, suddenly looking tired, and ran his hand through his hair which fell on his forehead now that it was without styling. He leaned forward and took your hand.

"Hey, tell me what you're thinking."

“Nothing…”

He tilted his head, not letting you get away with that answer.

“I…” You shrugged your shoulders, looking anywhere but at him. “Everything..? I jump to the next question before even figuring out what the previous question was… I’m worried - scared.”

“Of me?”

“No, for you!” You emphasized by nearly crushing his hand. “Never of you, Kyung… I don’t know what to do.”

“You don’t have to do anything.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Fix me..?”, he chuckled despondently.

“I’m not that dumb, Kyung. It’s just…” You started gesturing widely, so he let go of your hand. “Like on tuesday. Lo’ knew exactly what to do and I just sat there without a fucking clue... I should’ve called him sooner - I should’ve known something was up..!”

“Hey, hey. You can’t think like that”, he said in an effort to calm you down. He put his hands on your knees and looked at you, his brows knitted, upset you’d even consider blaming yourself. It worked. You lowered your voice and finally looked at him.

“I just…wish I’d done something.”

“Listen to me. Don’t just nod your head, Y/N. Listen, okay?”

“Mm”, you said, nodding again as you felt a lump in your throat.

“Whatever you think you did, you didn’t. This is how I am.”

Fast, like ECT, the current went through your face - shutting your eyes tight didn't stop it.

"No, don't cry, babe. Please don't cry", he begged softly, putting his hands on your arms, your neck.

It'd only been the shock that made you start, not your overall feeling, so you managed to stop.

"Sorry", you laughed and dried your eyes, feeling a little silly. "I'm just a little…", you exhaled loudly, fanning your face.

"...little emotional?"

"Yeah...", you sniveled and laughed again. "Little bit."

He looked so sweet with his crooked smile and compassionate eyes, but also sleepy.

"Do you want to go to bed?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"Kinda."

"I'm sorry..!", he wailed. "I really want to be with you, I missed you like hell, but I'm-"

"Tired?"

"So fucking tired", he chuckled.

"Well, it's no use trying to talk if you're over here falling asleep anyway, is there. Come on", you said, getting up. "I'll come back soon anyway."

"You're leaving?"

You looked at him dumbfounded.

"Well, I… No, I can stay. I'll sit with you."

"Sit with me? No, sleep with me."

You looked at each other then burst out laughing.

"Going straight to the point, are we?"

Kyungsoo's rumbling laughter filled the room as he got into his bed.

"Aish… Come here."

"Am I allowed to?"

"What are they gonna do, I'm already in here, ain't I?"

Strange, giddy, nerves took hold when you unlaced your shoes and got into bed, but dissipated as soon as he put his arm around you and pulled you in close.

“Good night”, he said and kissed your neck.

“Night?”

“Oh. No…”, he said drowsily. “The other…”

You waited to hear his final answer, but instead felt him settle; his hold loosening, chest rising slowly.

“Good nap, Kyung.”

#Kyungsoo scenario #kyungsoo fluff #kyungsoo angst

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itsclydebitches · 5 years

Text

Discredit Pt. 2: More Recommended Reviews For A.Z. Fell’s

Alright, folks. Some notes first:

1. You all rock. I’m sending out 20k+ virtual hugs for all the notes I NEVER expected to get on this nonsense.

2. This is probably the final section, just because I’m not sure I can adequately follow up part one and it might be foolish to attempt it here. Let alone twice. But for now, here we go.

3. Kudos to the anon who reminded me of Aziraphale’s cash-only policy <3

4. Nicole Y’s review is based off an actual comment I read years ago, but heaven only knows where online it was. I’ve got the memory of a goldfish.

5. Trigger warning for the use of a queer slur in this. It’s the same review as above, number 5 if you want to avoid it.

6. There’s a text-only version of just the reviews at the end, after all the images. I’ll upload that to my Sparse Clutter collection on AO3 in a bit.

Bonus 7. People thinking this is a real shop deserve all the good things in this world.

That’s all I’ve got. Hope you enjoy! 👍

****************************************************************************

I’m a simple guy who likes simple jokes. If there’s a whoopee cushion I plant it. I will call you up to ask if your refrigerator is running and then tell you to go catch it. (Actually that one died out so thoroughly it’s actually capable of a comeback now!). Yes, I’m a dad and yes, I have a t-shirt that says Dad Jokes? I Think You Mean Rad Jokes! which I wear un-ironically every Saturday. All of which is just to say that my wife was well prepared for my stupidity when I walked into Fell’s.

I? I was not.

You see the bibles when you walk in? The ones to the left? Let them be. Don’t even look at them. Definitely don’t pick out the fanciest one you can find and absolutely don’t walk up to the owner with it held in your pudgy little fingers, grinning like a loon, cheerfully asking whether this should be in the fiction section. Just don’t. Mark my words you’ll regret it. Though your wife won’t. She’ll get a great old laugh out of it all.

In conclusion: it’s quite possible that mama did raise a fool and he just got his ass verbally whooped by a guy in a bowtie.

***

Shout-out to Mr. Fell for being the only decent bloke in this city. I’ve popped in and out of his store for years—including before I started transitioning. So he knew my dead name, dead look, whole shebang and I was definitely nervous to play the ‘You know me, but this is what’s changed and are you gonna throw a fit about it?’ game.

You know what he said? “Oh, Rose! What a lovely choice. Crowley dear, why aren’t you growing any roses? Some white ones would look splendid next to my Henredon chair.”

That’s it. He just went straight into dragging his partner for not giving him roses. So hey, Mom? Next time you’re snooping through my social media why don’t you explain to all these nice people why the 50+yo book seller accepts me in ways you won’t. Don’t go telling me age is an excuse or that you’re ‘Stuck in your ways.’ I’ve watched Fell dress in the same damn clothes since I was ten!!

Yeah. Sorry. Rant over. Fell’s a gem. That’s my take. Rose out.

***

Anyone else in the shop when that guy started yelling about buying pornography? And then got escorted into the back room for some ‘private conversation’? Well done, Mr. Fell! Didn’t know you had it in you.

***

Alright alright alright alright I am TOTALLY calm about this.

Went into A.Z. Fell’s last Thursday. Not because I knew anything about the place. Just because I’ve been hitting up every bookshop within a twenty-mile radius, asking if they’re hosting any book signings. Long story short I self-published my novel Blight last month—which you can get for a mere £5 here but I swear this isn’t a promotional thing I’m just BROKE—and have been looking for networking opportunities, tips, stuff like that. So the owner listened politely as I explained all this. Then said he didn’t do anything of that sort, which didn’t surprise me given the shop’s vibe.

But then? Then??? He offered to let me do a signing there??????

As said. Totally calm about this. This man either plans to kidnap me or is actually giving me my first shot at an audience outside my blog. AKA totally worth the risk.

Tuesday the 9th. 7:00pm. Just in case anyone’s interested ;)

***

holy sweet baby jesus i was tripping balls last week you tryin’ to tell me that kING KONG SIZED FANGED FUCK SNAKE IS REAL

***

Witnessed the most perfect exchange the other day:

Grumpy Dude With No Manners: “You. Boy. Where’s the man I spoke with over the phone?”

Mr. Fell’s Partner Who Knows Damn Well Only Two of Them Work There But Clearly Doesn’t Like This Guy’s Tone: “Did this man give you his name?”

Grumpy Dude: “Might have. Don’t remember. Sounded like a fairy though.”

Me: “....”

My girlfriend: “....”

This Poor Sweet Startled Kid On Our Left: “?!?!?!?”

Fell’s Partner In The Drollest Voice I’ve Ever Heard: “None of us have wings. Out!”

***

This shop gets full stars simply because every time I walk in they’re playing Queen.

I mean, I’ve walked in once, but once is enough when you’ve got Crazy Little Thing Called Love blasting full volume.

***

Okay, I’m still kind of shaken up but I needed to write this out somewhere and this seemed as good a place as any.

I spilled my latte on a book. Just tripped on thin air, popped the lid, and chucked a venti’s worth of coffee all over a very expensive looking text. I didn’t mean to, obviously, but it happened and I just started bawling on the spot. Full on sobs because this semester has been absolute hell, I ruined this guy’s antique, there’s no way I can pay for it, I can’t even sneak away because I’m drawing the whole store’s attention...just all the things all at once. I really was straight up panicking and was seconds away from pulling out my inhaler. I couldn’t breathe.

And then Mr. Fell showed up.

Jesus it’s embarrassing to admit but I think I hit him once or twice. On the arms I mean, because he was trying to touch me and I figured, I don’t know, it was a restraint or something. He was going to call the police and hold me until they got there. But then he managed to start rubbing my back and I lost it like I hadn’t already been bawling my eyes out in this shop. Ever cry into a perfect stranger’s chest? I have! But if Mr. Fell seemed to mind he definitely didn’t show it. Just kept holding me while I probably ruined his shirt and then took me into the back and made me a new coffee in this cute little angel mug. He let me stay there while I called my sister and waited for her to arrive.

She’s a good twenty minutes outside of Soho, so we talked for a while. It’s not like Mr. Fell could fix my shit roommate or bio classes, but I guess just talking about it all really helped. I was a lot calmer by the time my sis arrived and Mr. Fell insisted I come back any time I wanted—for browsing or more coffee.

Of course, sis offered to pay for the book herself. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone look so surprised in my life. “Certainly not!” he said. “Contrary to popular belief, no one should pay for their mistakes. It’s what makes you all so wonderfully human.”

So yeah. Thanks, Mr. Fell.

***

This little shop must have started a book club for kids! Lately I’ve seen the same group of children hanging out at Fell’s. Three boys and a girl. They’re a bit rambunctious at times, but who isn’t at that age? So wonderful seeing literature passed down to the next generation. Even if some of it is rather questionable looking...

***

It’s an honest crime that more of you aren’t talking about what a wonderful bookstore this is.

I’m a book lover at heart and Fell’s always makes me feel like I’m coming home. I just arrived somewhere safe and familiar after a particularly harrowing day. I’ve slipped under the covers of my bed after dinner and a bubble bath. It’s something like that, but with an element of surprise too. One of the reasons why I adore private and used shops over chain stores is that little touch of chaos. You walk in and sure, there are general sections to browse, but everything is just a little bit disorganized from people leafing through books and then putting them back somewhere else. There’s no real record keeping, you’ve just gotta head to one particular corner and hope for the best. It’s not the sort of place you go to if you want something specific because the chances of them having it are slim—that’s just how the universe works—and even if they did no employee knows where it is anymore.

But if you wander the shelves for a while, crouch down low to get a look at everything on the bottom shelf, pay attention to the books that don’t have easy to read titles or any summaries to speak of... you just might find something you didn’t know you were looking for. That’s Fell’s: the comfort of the familiar and the excitement of the unknown.

*** A lot of people might assume that these stories are embellished or outright made up, but as a bookseller myself going on twenty years I believe every single one of them.

That being said, I accidentally moved a rug and found chalk sigils that look like they belong in a cult. Make of that what you will.

***

There’s a special place in hell for 21st century shop owners that only take cash. Who carries cash anymore? Not me! I haven’t bothered with that nonsense in years! You can get a card reader for 15 pounds on Amazon. Or you know what? Be stingy and pay 7 for the little attachment on your phone. This place is nuts if it thinks it’s going to survive much longer on a cash-only policy, especially with some books that look like they’re worth hundreds or thousands of pounds! Yeah, yeah, just let me pull out this giant wad of bills for you. I’ll carry them around a crime-laden city because there’s no ATM near you either.

I mean jesus, you’d think this guy didn’t want to sell anything.

***

I walked in. There was a man screaming at a fern while another threatened him with an umbrella. I walked out.

5 stars do recommend.

***

I once walked in on the same (?) guy yelling at a book for daring to fall on the owner’s head. I think that’s just a Thing over there.

***

Like a lot of people here I didn’t actually go to Fell’s for any books (flat tire, Angel Recovery taking forever) and ended up staying three hours (not because of Angel). No, I wandered towards the back and found this ancient CRT set propped on a table of books, the kind that my Dad used to watch Twilight Zone on. This lanky guy had a marathon of Gilmore Girls going... though how he was managing that with a broken antenna and no DVR, I really don’t know. But yeah. He told me to pull up a chair and I did. Guy gave me popcorn.

I wish I’d paid a little more attention to his name. Charlie? Curley? I really can’t remember, but thanks for the enjoyable afternoon, man.

***

I BOUGHT A BOOK HERE

Not sure how though. Just kinda happened. First edition of Just William. Frankly I didn’t even want the thing, but the owner basically shoved me out the door with it when I took two seconds to look at the spine. Odd that he was so willing to part with this one.

Update: ... hold up. I didn’t buy a book because I never actually paid the guy. ‘Basically shoved me out the door’ was literal. Do I go back??

***

This page has really gone feral the last couple of months so I’m just gonna bite the bullet and say it:

Anyone notice that Fell’s snake and Fell’s partner are never in the same room together?

***

I really don’t like the implications of this…

***

This is precisely why the Internet has turned into a cesspool. You all should be ashamed of some of the stuff you’re writing here. Can’t two men just be friends anymore? Two real life men? These guys aren’t some characters for you to ‘ship’ or whatever. Quit making outrageous assumptions about their sexualities and use this website for what it’s actually for: reviewing the bookshop. Honestly I’m so sick of this sort of this shit.

***

Dude. They run a queer-focused shop together with a flat on the second floor. Fell calls the guy ‘Dear’ and he’s always calling him ‘Angel.’ People have literally seen them kissing. If you want I can give you the number of my physician. He might be able to help you pull your head out of your ass.

***

What the hell is your problem? I’m literally just reminding people to stop making assumptions. It’s gross and insulting. These guys check their Yelp page. You really think they’re gonna be okay with this stuff?

Also: I’m not the five-year-old relying on insults, so.

***

Making an account purely to set the record straight: I’m the hot twink in question and I married that angel. Peace

#good omens #ineffable husbands #air conditioning #good omens fic #guess who spent 48 hours doing nothing but writing and formatting #can I get a wahoo

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