#This week has been... hard

[youthsbandana]

Having ADHD is just like:

I'm sorry.

I know it's inconvenient.

I'm sorry.

I know it's annoying.

I'm sorry.

I know it's selfish.

I'm sorry...

I know I shouldn't say sorry because an apology without change is manipulation.

I'm sorry.

I know I can't change my behavior; I've tried.

I'm sorry

#adhd #adhd brain #living with adhd #adhd problems #neurodivergence #adhd post #adhd stuff #actually adhd #This week has been... hard #I was fine and then my brother told me I have the tendency to do things on my time which can be extremely annoying #And he said him and mom try and be understanding #but after it happens again and again #i was thinking about that and how my adhd will never allow me to be non-annoying #and i can't keep saying i'm sorry because I literally can't change my behavior #and medicine can make my punctuality better but it can't make my memory better #and then i lost my wallet for the second time in 24 hours and #i'm just so sick of living with my brain #vent

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

#writeblr #warm up #this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru #but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist #ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school. #like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it. #was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes. #but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create'' #when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work #part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just #like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent. #speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r #ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week #this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice. #''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism #imagine if we said that about literally any other profession. #''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt? #u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky'' #we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY #''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''

[b1ttersweet-dreams]

ok ive decided - fuck it, v4v be upon ye this is my blog i do whatever i want around here additional v2 (& a bit of v1) sketches under cut bc well. favorite character

#ultrakill #v1 ultrakill #v2 ultrakill #ultrakill fanart #v4v #y2r1 #cw blood #this can be platonic or romantic #its so hard for me to post ship art this has been lying unseen for about three weeks at this point #and these fuckers have been living in my head rent free for a month now #ppl who came for other fandoms im sorry lol #aaaaahhhhhhh >_<

[ionomycin]

mermay

#artists on tumblr #may has gone so incredibly fast #it literally just started and now it's almost over #i'll be going to finland to visit my mom and friend again in june #just in time for pride week #it's been really nice in helsinki the past few years #i hope it goes safely and peacefully this year too #last year there were some protestors screaming mean things with their hateful signs #but that's to be expected #it's hard to feel insulted when they're the ones wasting their time screaming at strangers #instead of doing something positive #must be a sad life being so angry all the time

[dahldahlbills]

he connected the dots

#witch hat atelier #tongari boushi no atelier #wha #witch hat atelier fanart #orufrey #…kinda ??? #qifrey #olruggio #orugio #has this been done yet #the blue’s so hard to read but I wanted to keep it true to the bfu color 😭 #this is v messy and silly I hope you enjoy #happy qifrey birthday!!! #dahls art #I’ve held onto this for a few weeks I might as well post it lol

[dizzybizz]

KAEYA BIRTHDAY ??? ?? i love you mr alberich sir i love you oh so so so much.

uh dialogue for this one but more legible under the cut (and a messy ragbros page)

Klee: Kaeya! Come down here! Kaeya: Oh? heh. What is it, Spark Knight?

Klee: Happy Birthday! It is today? Right? I even double-checked with Albedo and everything but I don't know... Klee: It's a Calla Lily! You like those, right? Kaeya: I certainly do! Thank y- Klee: Oh. Klee: OK OK OK- Kaeya: Hm? Klee: Kaeya you have to promise to not tell Master Jean about this one! Kaeya: You can count on me to keep my lips sealed.

Klee: OK! Close your eyes- eye- and hold out your hands! Kaeya: Mhm! Klee: OK! You can open them! TA-DA~!

Klee: I made a bomb for you! It even has an eyepatch! He can look after you when I'm somewhere else. Take good care of him! Oh yeah- He explodes if you- Kaeya?

Kaeya: Thank you Klee! Thank you very much! Klee: You're VERY welcome Kaeya!

a lil ragbros too.... kaeya and his red siblings amirite (bursts into tears).. also i am so obsessed with chibi diluc saying "bring em in..."

#I LOVE YOU KAEYA #these were all drawn in the past two daysashhsdgg #i was originally planning on starting like at least a week in advance bc i wanted to do one big ambitious piece but that didnt end up happe #ing... instead he gets a little comic a bigger comic and a page and my undivided attention #genshin impact #kaeya alberich #kaeya #genshin impact kaeya #genshin kaeya #im putting em all in here f u #klee #diluc ragnvindr #ragbros #none of that kaeluc shit here alright thank you or go fuck off ok epic #my art #sona #these r all improvised. i went about the klee comic in the stupidest way possible bc apperantly i love making things hard for myself.. #not like it was my fault- it was just supposed to be a concept for a finished piece and not turn into a little comic but i have no self con #rol clearly so now its here and i am jsut kinda sleepy sry #kaeya has been my genshin blorbo for over three years ok i needed to express a little of my feelings about him somehow #OK YAY ITS OFFICIALLY THE 30TH IN MY TIMEZONE SO I CAN POST THIS OK OK YEAH #HAPPY BDAY KAEYA AAAAAAAAAAAAA 😭💖💖💖 #this entire post is just me sobbing over how much i adore him #is this the longest wall of notes from me yet.. idk but it might be #ok anyways i love kaeya a lot send me anything kaeya and i will love you forever and ever and i should really go to sleep now i think #... .kaeya 🥰🥰🥰

[madootles]

consumed with the urge to draw with ed holding cat. that's all

edit: metal arm wrong side bc canvas flip

#the legs look so fucked to me so cropped version first #edward elric #cat #I cannot explain #is it not self explanatory #probably bad to post this at 1 am my time but my impatience has always been strong and today is no different #fma #fma03 #fullmetal alchemist #fmab #I really struggled with this and I still don't completely love it but I wanted to post something #it's been about a year since I first got BACK into fma #still into it lolol #fan art #anyway life updates... nothing really #I have been listening to hozier's new album for weeks and I saw him in concert which was awesome! #today I saw the PJO trailer and it brought me happiness #sketch #proportions are so fucked like I love edward's build but it really is hard for me to nail down #hope someone enjoys!

[mimimar]

finally completed my comic based on the song ivy by taylor swift!✿ please zoom in to read the text and see the details~

✿.✿.✿

you can get the digital zine pdf here! it includes extras like character profiles, costume design, more art of willow and ivy, zine-exclusive sketches and an illustrated guide to the symbolism of all the flowers in this comic.

you can also get prints of individual pages here!

✿.✿.✿

#ivy comic #it's finally complete!!!♡ this was the longest project ever but i really wanted to do my best on every spread #i also worked really hard on the extra pages for the zine. i hope you like those as well if you decide to get it! #i've been wanting to make this comic since evermore came out in 2020 and i listened to ivy for the first time #i posted the first sketches from this comic on my patreon in 2022 and released the first page last year in 2023 #so it's been a loooong time coming working on this in between other art #i was always disappointed that i got a hand injury back when i was making my dorothea/'tis the damn season comic #so i couldn't give my 100% on every page of that one. that's part of why i wanted to go all out for my ivy comic #and it has a happy ending this time!♡ #thank you for sticking around if you've been reading since page 1 #and thank you also if you just read it for the first time today! #also i didn't plan it but i coincidentally finished this comic exactly on lesbian visibility week. love that #ivy comic mimimar #oc #ivy #willow #taylor swift #taylor swift ivy #ivy taylor swift #evermore #illustration #illo #comic #lesbian #wlw #sapphic #lesbian visibility week #lesbian art #wlw art #sapphic art

[obsob]

sending emails but sniffling and whimpering after typing each word

#mine #original #this is a self portrait today i sent 3 emails then had to go hve a warm bath #i hate emaisl i jhefb f hasf iw ant to bite emails as hard as i possibly can once really hard #im manifesting an illustration agency wanting me its going to happen i can feel it #pls pls spls plslslsp spls #i had more ot write but all gone from my head.....too many emails made brain fried #one of th cats has decided that her food is disgusting and is refusing 2 eat it .....little beast #shes been eating it very happily for like 3 weeks and now is like? kill yourself actually #anyway. am cold. going to go hve food.

[panthermouthh]

And I said, “Hello, Satan

I believe it’s time to go.”

#my art #southern gothic #been too depressed to create anything but I’ve made this today #the little rhyme has been in my head for a few weeks #spilled ink #I guess do people still use that tag for poetry or am I old lol #I’ve been writing in my journal pretty much daily and sometimes spitting out little poems like this #not much energy for art #so I’m not gonna pressure myself to keep it up #I’m just gonna enjoy the fact that I made this #I hope ur all well <33 #the devil #by the way this isn’t meant to be fan art of Robert Johnson #but it’s inspired by him and the stories of musicians who sell their souls to the devil #I am still thinking very hard and have mostly drafted a cornstalk fiddle comic #god knows how long it’ll stay in a notebook haha #my comic #comics

[mrghostrat]

letting out some steam 😮‍💨 poem in alt

#i have never shared poetry before and it kind of just Happened so!!!!!! dont perceive me too hard oh god #this vent has been on my mind for a few weeks #feels good to let it out #rat draws #poetry #mister b #oc

[sad-leon]

"So why am I so tiny, and why am I so mad?"

KoFi || Patreon

#sad•leonart #rise leonardo #rise leo #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt leo #rottmnt leonardo #drawing has been so fucking hard the past few weeks im sorry for like having nothing to share #i have two more big projects before im done... if i dont start another one in that time #looks at my animatic thumbnails #which are up on my patreon if anyones curious #am i gonna regret posting sad shit late at night when i wake up #probably #oh well #its all i got left

[crescentfool]

orpheus and thanatos 💚

#persona 3 #ryomina #ryoji mochizuki #minato arisato #makoto yuki #lizzy does art #HIII EVERYONE :3 happy halloween.... (has been working on this for four weeks off and on) #i've always yearned to see art of ryoji and minato based on thanatos and orpheus!!! #i know that ryoji can be likened to being the eurydice figure which i agree with but I HAVE BEEN THINKING SO HARD ABT THEM LIKE THIS OK. #it was nice to give drawing something more ambitious (for my standards) an earnest try again! i love working with lineless and lighting #and working on this has inspired me to HOPEFULLY start doing some studies of sorts! i want to learn so many things... #all so that i can make ryomina as epic as possible... #also LET ME TELL YOU that thanatos coffins are making me realize i seriously need to do drawabox or something. #trying to put them in perspective is hard... but im pretty happy with what i made!!! #also can i just say i love how shapely orpheus is?? i love orpheus joints etc etc its so nice. very fresh #sighs longingly. i love them very much they make me want to do better at things. i hope everyone has a wonderful week ahead! 💙 #very excited to see what people do for ryomina week (<- they haven't made anything 4 it yet bc Busy... but i'll submit smthn late maybe)

[minty364]

DPXDC Prompt #94

Danny falls through a portal to the DC world from a natural portal that opened up while he was in mid fight with Skulker a fight that began at Vlads where the creep put a collar on Danny that kept him in ghost form, Vlad thought he’d force Danny to reveal his secret to his parents by taking away his human form. Looking around he’s in a dark city with dark smog colored skies. Unfortunately he’s stuck here as the portal closed leaving him trapped. He tried to find help but no one can see him in his ghost form. He starts tailing the vigilantes of this world and eventually follows one onto this space station through this tube (possessing inanimate objects sure comes in handy). He wasn’t expecting for the random British guy in a trench coat to see him.

#dp x dc prompt #dp x dc #dc x dp #danny fenton #danny phantom #writing prompt #poor danny #What if no one could see Danny like deadman #Danny is stuck in ghost form #Constantine has a headache especially from the ghost king that has apparently been tailing Batman for a week #ghost king danny #Batman had a feeling he was being tailed but it’s hard to prove when nothing is amiss #my asks are open #More Minty lore? Sure! #Honestly no one in my family knows I love Danny Phantom so I only own a glitch in time #It’s still my favorite show from the 2000s but at this point that probably has more to do with the phandom #I’d also like to reveal my DP inspired world soon but I have no clue how to go about it #Should I start a new blog? Or should I just post it here? This blog is meant for everything but I don’t want to bog it down #So that’s my rant take it or leave it but you can’t unread it!! Thanks for reading have a great day!

[greekmythcomix]

How I teach the Iliad in highschool:

I’ve taught the Iliad for over a decade, I’m literally a teacher, and I can even spell ‘Iliad’, and yet my first instinct when reading someone’s opinions about it is not to drop a comment explaining what it is, who ‘wrote’ it, and what that person’s intention truly was.

Agh. <the state of Twitter>

The first thing I do when I am teaching the Iliad is talk about what we know, what we think we know, and what we don’t know about Homer:

We know -

- 0

We think we know -

- the name Homer is a person, possibly male, possibly blind, possibly from Ionia, c.8th/9th C BCE.

- composed the Iliad and Odyssey and Hymns

We don’t know -

- if ‘Homer’ was a real person or a word meaning singer/teller of these stories

- which poem came first

- whether the more historical-sounding events of these stories actually happened, though there is evidence for a similar, much shorter, siege at Troy.

And then I get out a timeline, with suggested dates for the ‘Trojan war’ and Iliad and Odyssey’s estimated composition date and point out the 500ish years between those dates. And then I ask my class to name an event that happened 500 years ago.

They normally can’t or they say ‘Camelot’, because my students are 13-15yo and I’ve sprung this on them. Then I point out the Spanish Armada and Qu. Elizabeth I and Shakespeare were around then. And then I ask how they know about these things, and we talk about historical record.

And how if you don’t have historical record to know the past, you’re relying on shared memory, and how that’s communicated through oral tradition, and how oral tradition can serve a second purpose of entertainment, and how entertainment needs exciting characteristics.

And we list the features of the epic poems of the Iliad and Odyssey: gods, monsters, heroes, massive wars, duels to the death, detailed descriptions of what armour everyone is wearing as they put it on. (Kind of like a Marvel movie in fact.)

And then we look at how long the poems are and think about how they might have been communicated: over several days, when people would have had time to listen, so at a long festival perhaps, when they’re not working. As a diversion.

And then I tell them my old and possibly a bit tortured simile of ‘The Pearl of Myth’:

(Here’s a video of The Pearl of Myth with me talking it through in a calming voice: https://youtu.be/YEqFIibMEyo?sub_confirmation=1

And after all that, I hand a student at the front a secret sentence written on a piece of paper, and ask them to whisper it to the person next to them, and for that person to whisper it to the next, and so on. You’ve all played that game.

And of course the sentence is always rather different at the end than it was at the start, especially if it had Proper nouns in it (which tend to come out mangled). And someone’s often purposely changed it, ‘to be funny’.

And we talk about how this is a very loose metaphor for how stories and memory can change over time, and even historical record if it’s not copied correctly (I used to sidebar them about how and why Boudicca used to be known as ‘Boadicea’ but they just know the former now, because Horrible Histories exists and is awesome)

And after all that, I remind them that what we’re about to read has been translated from Ancient Greek, which was not exactly the language it was first written down in, and now we’re reading it in English.

And that’s how my teenaged students know NOT TO TAKE THE ILIAD AS FACT.

(And then we read the Iliad)

#man this week has been hard for classics teachers #Iliad #greek mythology #tagamemnon #greek myth #odyssey #homer #greek myth retellings #comix #greek myth comix #classics teacher #teaching #myth #history #ancient greek history #horrible histories #the idiots #teaching resources #teacher rant #Youtube

[rudeboimonster]

~help your local rat get stable housing~

edit post nov 2023: I GOT THE HELP I NEEDED THANK YOU SOSOOSO MUCH

dramatically sprawled out on the floor

so i gotta move for the third time in that many years. unfortunately between health problems and the General State of The Economy, I have been unable to find work to be able to save any money. i have no choice but to leave the entire state. i thankfully have somewhere to go, however I need help getting there. i've been trying to do the math to get what I need to its lowest amount possible, but even that is still at least $2.5k.

after this move, i should be able to get things more stable and I might even have a couple job prospects lined up in that area, but right now I'm really scraping the bottom of the barrel funds wise and desperately need help.

if you're able to spare anything, i've set up a goal through kofi so i can track it publicly. i have trouble asking for help but i really need what help i can get. thank you, so so so much.

#mutual aid #fundraiser #help #god i dont know what to tag this im just kinda ripping off the bandage bc ive been anxious about posting about this since i got asked to #leave. head in hands. please help by spreading the word if you cant spare any cash i completely understand. #i dont know what i can offer. my ability to do art has been really really low and with my sleeping/living arrangements my wrists shoulders #back have been in fucking wretches states so its hard for me to do much #if youre wonder about the other fundraiser i did a few years ago #the person i replaced in a renting situation ended up fucking me over and got basically evicted into the 2nd week of college and i had 3 da #to leave that situation or more people wouldve gotten fucked over. and ive been basically couch surfing since trying to find work #anyways i havent slept in a bed for more than a weekend since october 2021 my back is turbo fucked please help